ThirtyFiveSixtyFour

The Science Behind Beautiful Skin Over 40 with Kate Schneider

Karen Stones — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 16:44:57 +0000

Aeston West DISCOUNT CODE FOR LISTENERS: THIRTY20 for 20% off

Welcome to the science of beautiful skin in the middle years!

Are you overwhelmed by choices and frustrated that your skincare routine isn't working? We sit down with Kate Schneider, founder of Aeston West, who breaks down the complex world of middle-aged skincare and simplifies it with science.

In this essential episode, we dive into:

The Biggest Enemy: Why chronic inflammation is the root cause of many skin issues we face after 40—and how to fight it.

Smart Investment: Where you need to spend your money (hint: it's all about active serums!) and how to stop wasting cash on products that don't work.

Simplifying Your Routine: Strategies for streamlining your products to achieve better results and consistency.

Future Trends: The rise of clinical testing and the necessity of a holistic approach to skin health.

It's time to find joy in your routine and choose products that truly work for your unique needs!

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage

03:01 Kate's Background in Skincare and Science

06:36 Understanding the Unique Skin Needs of Middle-Aged Women

08:35 Navigating Skincare Choices

10:40 Addressing Chronic Inflammation in Skincare

12:27 The Impact of Lifestyle on Skin Health

14:20 The Importance of a Holistic Approach

17:28 Cleansing Techniques and Product Choices

20:14 Teen vs. Adult Acne: Different Needs

22:03 Application Techniques for Skincare Products

24:29 The Importance of Product Application Techniques

27:47 Streamlining Skincare Routines

30:52 Consistency in Skincare for Optimal Results

33:54 The Impact of Makeup on Skin Health

35:12 Investing Wisely in Skincare Products

38:52 The Power of Serums in Skincare

41:13 Affordable Drugstore Beauty Finds

44:44 Innovative Skincare Technologies

49:42 Emerging Trends in Skincare

52:04 Connecting with the Brand

Resources: Discount code: THIRTY20 for 20% off Aeston West Website https://aestonwest.com/ Miracle Suit Website https://miraclesuit.com/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/aestonwest/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/people/Aeston-West/61578216321607/ Email questions@aestonwest.com

How to Recalibrate Your Brain for Midlife Clarity and Vitality

Karen Stones — Thu, 13 Nov 2025 21:34:03 +0000

In this conversation, Riana Melia, a Neurosomatic Practitioner and Identity Architect, discusses the intersection of neuroscience and personal identity. She shares insights on how to identify when one feels stuck, the importance of understanding personal desires versus external expectations, and the Clear to Create method for achieving clarity in life. Riana emphasizes the significance of values, non-negotiables, and desires in relationships, and introduces the Fear to Focus Flip Framework to shift negative thought patterns. The discussion also touches on midlife reflections, the impact of past trauma, and practical advice for navigating life changes.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Neurosomatic Practices03:00 Identifying Signs of Being Stuck06:05 Understanding True Desires vs. External Expectations08:55 The Clarity Codex: Values and Non-Negotiables11:52 Creating a Desire List for Life14:49 The Importance of Clarity in Relationships17:49 Transforming Negative Thoughts into Positive Actions20:55 The Fear to Focus Flip Framework23:48 Practical Exercises for Mindset Shifts26:47 Emotional Guidance Scale and Its Impact28:58 Navigating Musical Frequencies and Emotional Guidance32:29 Clearing Unconscious Patterns for Transformation35:34 Understanding Midlife Transitions and Identity38:04 The Power of Forgiveness and Letting Go41:48 Accessing the Subconscious for Healing48:55 Visualizing Goals and Creating New Realities50:56 Practical Steps for Life Changes and Self-Discovery

Resources:Riana Melia’s Website The Extraordinary Love Index (ELI) Assessment Riana’s Instagram Riana’s Facebook Riana’s YouTube channel

Read our middle age blogs and access detailed show notes for ThirtyFiveSixtyFour: Website → https://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Follow us on social for middle age inspiration:Instagram → https://instagram.com/thirtyfivesixtyfour_/ Facebook → https://facebook.com/ThirtyFiveSixtyFourPodcast/ TikTok → https://tiktok.com/@3564podcast LinkedIn → https://inkedin.com/company/thirtyfivesixtyfour/

Top 9 Conversations about Perimenopause and Menopause | Viral Moments You Can't Miss

Karen Stones — Fri, 31 Oct 2025 21:18:07 +0000

Karen brings a powerful solo episode to ThirtyFiveSixtyFour, diving into nine of the most viral and eye-opening moments about perimenopause and menopause that every woman in midlife should know. Drawing from trusted experts, celebrity experiences, and viral clips that have reshaped the conversation around women’s health, Karen curates a must-listen guide to understanding your changing body and reclaiming your joy during midlife.

From Oprah Winfrey’s honest confessions to Halle Berry’s shocking medical misdiagnosis, Naomi Watts’ message of courage, and Dr. Mary Claire Haver’s transformative tips, this episode offers real talk and relatable stories that break the stigma surrounding menopause. Karen shares personal reflections, trusted resources, and a call to women everywhere: it’s time to take back control of your health and happiness.

In this episode:

(00:00) Introduction: Why This Conversation Matters
(02:12) The Biggest Medical Misstep in Women’s Health — Huberman x Attia on HRT
(04:38) What Is Perimenopause? Dr. Natalie on The Today Show
(05:01) Oprah’s Viral Menopause Moment: When HRT Isn’t the Right Choice — Dr. Sharon Malone Explains
(08:01) Mary Claire Haver’s Viral Checklist: 10 Must-Know Tips for Navigating Menopause
(10:56) Halle Berry Opens Up on Drew Barrymore: Finding Support Through Perimenopause
(12:54) Naomi Watts on Early Menopause and Breaking the Shame Cycle and Savannah Guthrie’s Book: The New Menopause
(15:04) Oprah’s Personal Menopause Story: Palpitations, Fear, and Clarity
(17:21) Tamron Hall’s Viral Guest — The Steaming Head Hot Flash Story
(18:33) Carin Luna-Ostaseski on the Real Midlife Experience and Identity
(21:30) Next Steps for Listeners

Resources Mentioned:

Full interview with Dr Attia about Menstruation, Menopause, and Hormone Replacement Therapy for Women: https://youtube.com/watch?v=uEZpg0n7jcY&t=840s
Full Interview with NBC’s Dr. Natalie Azar Many women don’t notice early menopause symptoms, study finds: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-bnqL5R-1kU
Full Oprah Interview: Breaking Down Common Menopause Myths with Oprah, Drew Barrymore, Maria Shriver, and More: https://youtube.com/watch?v=aI_ZHubzc_k
10 perimenopause tips I wish I knew sooner from Dr Marie Claire: https://youtube.com/shorts/AU2OO7AhHDg?si=deZJuiQ6JBZ2Lye_
- Book: The New Menopause https://thepauselife.com/pages/the-new-menopause-book
- Your Midlife Lab Checklist: Essential Tests for Womenhttps://thepauselife.com/pages/lab-checklist-download
Full Interview: Halle Berry Reveals Doctor Misdiagnosed Her with Herpes During Early Menopause: https://youtube.com/watch?v=6i3MhfjSr2Q
Full Interview: Naomi Watts talks menopause journey, new book ‘Dare I Say It’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlgK031rFTM
Full GMA Video: Oprah Winfrey talks new menopause specialhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hstrPw1EN3M
Tamron Hall’s Viral Guest — The Steaming Head Hot Flash Story
Viral Time Article: 8 Signs You’re in Perimenopause: https://time.com/7019600/perimenopause-signs-symptoms/
Hot or Just Me Store: https://hotorjustme.com/

Middle Age Pelvic Health: Urogynecologist Dr. Besty Greenleaf

Karen Stones — Wed, 22 Oct 2025 19:58:35 +0000

Ever wondered why your bladder seems to have a mind of its own after 40? Dr. Betsy Greenleaf, the first female board-certified urogynecologist in the United States, joins ThirtyFiveSixtyFour to answer every pelvic health question you’ve been too embarrassed to ask. From UTIs to sexual satisfaction, from the right way to wipe to whether your underwear is sabotaging your health, this conversation covers it all. Karen and Dr. Betsy dive deep into the changes that happen during perimenopause and menopause, debunking myths and offering practical solutions that don’t require surgery. Dr. Betsy’s refreshing approach removes the shame and awkwardness around these topics, delivering medically sound advice with humor and compassion. Her mantra? Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s normal or that you have to live with it.

Ready to reclaim your pelvic health and sexual confidence? Dr. Betsy shares game-changing insights about Kegel exercises, revealing that most women are doing them wrong and explaining the milkshake straw technique that actually works. She exposes the truth about popular lubricants (KY Jelly gets thrown under the bus), explains why vacation sex is better, and introduces listeners to boric acid as a vaginal reboot solution. The conversation takes empowering turns as Dr. Betsy discusses everything from the best underwear choices to why sexual pleasure should be considered pelvic physical therapy. She challenges outdated beliefs about female desire and provides actionable strategies for improving intimate satisfaction at any age. Listeners will walk away with practical tips they can implement immediately, from bladder retraining techniques to understanding which products actually support vaginal health.

Dr. Betsy Greenleaf is a pioneering triple board-certified physician and the first female in the United States to achieve board certification in urogynecology. Her specializations include obstetrics and gynecology, female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery, and procedural medicine and aesthetics. With decades of clinical experience, Dr. Betsy has become a leading voice in women’s pelvic health education. She is the CEO and founder of the Pelvic Floor Store, an online resource providing carefully curated products that support pelvic wellness. As a bestselling author and award-winning speaker, she’s dedicated to removing the stigma around pelvic health issues and empowering women with knowledge. Dr. Betsy also operates the Pause Institute, where she treats both men and women for hormonal and pelvic health concerns. Her innovative approach combines medical expertise with practical solutions, and she’s even released a menopause rock album called “Menopause Memo.” Dr. Betsy’s mission is to become the next Dr. Ruth, making conversations about intimate health accessible, accurate, and shame-free.

In this episode:

(00:00) Introduction to Pelvic Health with Dr. Betsy Greenleaf
(03:20) What Is Pelvic Health and Why It Matters
(04:38) Bladder Health, Incontinence, and What’s Normal
(07:15) UTIs and Hormonal Changes During Perimenopause
(10:45) Stress vs. Urge Incontinence Explained
(12:02) Surprising Causes of Pelvic Floor Damage
(14:15) The Freeze and Sneeze Reality
(15:01) Kegel Exercises: Are You Doing Them Right?
(17:40) The Milkshake Straw Technique for Kegels
(19:30) Bladder Retraining and Hydration Tips
(21:07) Difficulty Emptying Your Bladder: Causes and Solutions
(24:00) Practical Tips for Better Bladder Function
(24:06) How to Know If You’re Doing Kegels Correctly
(26:27) Should Men Do Kegels Too?
(27:54) The Power of Emu Oil for Pelvic Health
(31:45) Choosing the Right Lubricant for Sexual Health
(36:32) The Truth About Flavored Lubes
(40:35) Does Your Underwear Cause Problems?
(42:55) The Great Wiping Debate: Front to Back
(45:33) Feminine Wipes and Bidets
(47:46) Boric Acid: The Vaginal Reboot Solution
(52:02) Sexual Satisfaction and Desire in Middle Age
(56:15) The New Model of Female Sexual Response
(58:45) Pelvic Physical Therapy Through Self-Pleasure
(1:00:15) Where to Find Dr. Betsy and Her Resources
Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources:

Dr. Betsy’s Social Media: Dr. Betsy Greenleaf on Instagram Dr. Betsy Greenleaf on TikTok The Pelvic Floor Store – Use code 3564 for 10% off Pause Institute – Dr. Betsy’s Medical Practice Free Hormone Quiz Menopause Memo Rock Album – Available on Apple Music, Spotify, and Pandora

Perimenopause: Why Didn't Anyone Tell Us?

Karen Stones — Thu, 09 Oct 2025 21:54:47 +0000

Divorce rates are at historic lows—except for women over 50. Anna Snead, co-founder of The Agenda Period, reveals the hidden connection between perimenopause and what she calls “menopause divorce” on ThirtyFiveSixtyFour. Ever wonder why you suddenly can’t stand things you once tolerated? Anna’s been coaching women through these hormonal shifts for years, and she’s discovered something fascinating: that late luteal phase clarity you experience before your period? During perimenopause, it becomes your constant companion. Karen and Anna dive into why 75% of divorces are initiated by women during this phase—and it’s not because you’re “crazy.” Your brain is actually giving you unprecedented clarity about your life, needs, and boundaries. Anna challenges the narrative that perimenopause is just hot flashes and brain fog, reframing it as your “pro-self” era.

Ready to stop apologizing for who you’re becoming? Anna shares game-changing insights about the hormonal shift from “pro-social” to “pro-self”—and why this isn’t a crisis, it’s an awakening. From revealing why only a handful of species (including one devoted octopus) experience menopause, to explaining how men can use cycle awareness as relationship “cheat codes,” this conversation rewrites the perimenopause playbook. Anna introduces The Agenda Period app that syncs with your calendar and gives you the “now what” guidance most trackers miss. You’ll discover why taking your basal body temperature matters beyond fertility, how the moon connects to your cycle, and why Anna’s football coach husband now period-coaches his buddies. Most powerfully, Anna dismantles the shame around this transition and offers practical tools—including her viral “marriage saver” mirror tracker—to help you embrace this creatively fertile period of life.

Anna Snead is the co-founder of The Agenda Period, a former high school teacher turned life coach and cycle educator who’s passionate about body literacy and empowering women through hormonal understanding. With a background spanning 16 years in education, Anna discovered the profound connection between menstrual cycles and life decisions while coaching her very first client through what appeared to be a divorce—until Anna noticed the pattern between her client’s cycle phases and relationship feelings. This revelation launched Anna’s mission to help women become their own “cycle scientists.” As a 46-year-old navigating perimenopause herself while raising a daughter, Anna combines personal experience with professional expertise to make cycle awareness accessible and actionable. Through The Agenda Period app and educational content, she’s disrupting the silence around women’s hormonal health, teaching both women and their partners how to harness cycle knowledge for deeper relationships and self-understanding. Anna believes perimenopause isn’t an ending but a powerful transition into wisdom-sharing and authentic self-advocacy.

In this episode:

(00:00) Introduction: Anna Snead and The Agenda Period
(03:03) What is “Menopause Divorce”? The 75% Statistic Explained
(06:23) The Hormonal Shift: From Pro-Social to Pro-Self
(08:15) Perimenopause Brings Clarity, Not Just Symptoms
(10:55) Why You’re Becoming More Introverted (It’s Hormonal!)
(13:41) Reframing Perimenopause as Purpose, Not Ending
(16:49) The Agenda Period App: Your “Now What” Cycle Guide
(20:32) How Men Can Support Partners Through Cycle Awareness
(23:16) Tracking Ovulation When Periods Are Erratic
(26:21) The Marriage Saver: Teaching Partners Your Cycle Language
(29:56) Moon Cycles for Non-Bleeders and IUD Users
(32:40) Natural Progesterone: Anna’s Game-Changing Experience
(35:09) Perimenopause Starting Earlier: The Birth Control Connection
(38:23) Daily Check-Ins: Your Most Important Relationship Is With Yourself
(39:26) Closing and Next Steps
Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources:

The Agenda Period Website: https://theagendaperiod.com The Agenda Period App (iOS and Android): Search “The Agenda.” in app stores The Agenda Period on Instagram The Agenda Period on TikTok The Agenda Period on YouTube

About:

If you find our stories and conversations valuable, your contribution helps cover the behind-the-scenes costs of keeping this podcast running.

Leave a tip or donation here → https://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com/donate/

Watch & Subscribe on YouTube → https://youtube.com/channel/UCUMAMJFx9trP1ixYD8uEs4A?reload=9 Listen & Subscribe on Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/6jJtEh0WpglPGlZ9qnGHKL Listen & Subscribe on Apple Music → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thirtyfivesixtyfour/id1733505174

Read our middle age blogs and access transcripts and detailed show notes for ThirtyFiveSixtyFour → https://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Follow us on social for middle age inspiration: Instagram → https://instagram.com/thirtyfivesixtyfour_/ TikTok → https://tiktok.com/@3564podcast

How to Have a Happy Birthday with Author Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming

Karen Stones — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Dreading your next milestone birthday or watching loved ones struggle with aging? Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming brings transformative wisdom to ThirtyFiveSixtyFour about embracing birthdays at any age. As the author of "How to Have a Happy Birthday," Tamar challenges the narrative that aging means decline. At 59 and approaching her own 60th birthday, she shares honest insights about physical changes while celebrating the wisdom, confidence, and freedom that come with each decade. Karen and Tamar dive deep into birthday anxiety, the privilege of aging, and why your birthday is the most sacred day of your year—one that deserves intentional celebration.

Ready to transform birthday dread into birthday joy? Tamar reveals why half of us experience birthday anxiety and how childhood experiences shape our relationship with aging. From dealing with perimenopause at 46 to embracing gray hair and wrinkles, this conversation tackles the real challenges of midlife while offering practical strategies for celebration. Listeners discover why "aging is a privilege" isn't just a platitude—it's a powerful reframe for living fully. Tamar's personal stories, from a devastating 18th birthday to her best birthday ever in France, illustrate how taking charge of your celebration creates transformation. Whether you're planning a milestone birthday or supporting someone who is, this episode provides actionable wisdom for making every birthday meaningful.

Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming is a birthday coach dedicated to helping people harness the transformational power of their birthdays so they can experience more joy, meaning, and fulfillment in their lives. Growing up, Tamar had happy, sad and terrible birthdays until she realized that having a fulfilling birthday was entirely up to her. In her award-winning book, “How to Have a Happy Birthday,” and its new companion workbook, Tamar explores why birthdays matter, why they can be hard for us, and what we can do to fully put ourselves in the center of our day.

In this episode:

(00:00) Introduction to Tamar and the Art of Happy Birthdays
(01:43) Tamar's Perspective on Turning 60: Embracing the Milestone
(03:12) Why Younger People Struggle with Future Planning
(05:59) Reframing Aging: Beyond "Over the Hill" Thinking
(08:44) Social Pressures of Youthful Appearance vs. Natural Aging
(12:47) The Mirror Exercise: Changing Self-Talk and Self-Image
(14:14) Supporting Loved Ones Through Milestone Birthday Anxiety
(17:04) The Visibility Myth: Who Really Sees Us as We Age?
(18:50) Physical Health and Aging: Investment in Your Future Self
(22:39) Perimenopause, Menopause, and the Journey Across the River
(25:00) How Men and Women Process Aging Differently
(28:11) Meaningful Birthday Celebrations on Any Budget
(33:11) The Birthday Blues: Unmet Expectations and Childhood Wounds
(36:34) Tamar's Origin Story: From Birthday Trauma to Birthday Coach
(41:21) How to Acknowledge Birthdays: Phone Calls vs. Social Media
(53:33) Connecting with Tamar and Birthday Coaching Services

Follow Tamar: https://howtohaveahappybirthday.com https://instagram.com/author.tamar https://facebook.com/author.tamar

Resources: https://www.amazon.com/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life/dp/1443456624

About:

If you find our stories and conversations valuable, your contribution helps cover the behind-the-scenes costs of keeping this podcast running.

Leave a tip or donation here → https://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com/donate/

Watch & Subscribe ✅ on YouTube → https://youtube.com/channel/UCUMAMJFx9trP1ixYD8uEs4A?reload=9 Listen & Subscribe ✅ on Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/6jJtEh0WpglPGlZ9qnGHKL Listen & Subscribe ✅ on Apple Music → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thirtyfivesixtyfour/id1733505174

Read our middle age blogs and access transcripts and detailed show notes for ThirtyFiveSixtyFour → http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Follow us on social for middle age inspiration: Instagram → https://instagram.com/thirtyfivesixtyfour_/ TikTok → https://tiktok.com/@3564podcast

Episode Transcription: Welcome to 35/64, a podcast for Middle Agers. In today's episode, I have the pleasure of welcoming Tamar Herwitz-Fleming. She is the author of How to Have a Happy. Let me tell you, you've got to listen to this full episode if you are celebrating a milestone birthday soon, forty, fifty, sixty. If you know somebody who has a milestone birthday soon, if your birthday is coming up soon, she gives the most practical tips on how to embrace.

[00:00:46] Karen: How old you are turning, how to have the birthday you want, and truly how to feel celebrated and loved and grateful, and the true privilege we have of aging. Welcome to the show, Tamar. It is so good to have you here.

[00:01:05] Tamar: Thanks Karen. I'm delighted to be here.

[00:01:07] Karen: I heard that you were just. Dying to tell us all about all the information that you've compiled with your research, your stories, everything about aging. I actually think that you are a perfect guest for this podcast because we're right in that middle age of 35 to 64, and you are a specialist in birthdays, different decades.

What it's like to age. I'm so excited to have you here. why don't you go ahead and tell us how old you are.

[00:01:43] Tamar: I am 59 and a half, and I'm turning 60 on January 9th.

[00:01:48] Karen: Oh, so you're coming up on a pretty big one yourself.

[00:01:51] Tamar: big one and I can feel it, and I can tell you I don't have any problem getting older. but 60 feels really big as a milestone, and I'm not dreading it. I'm embracing it. But I can tell you something that it's very different from 50. It's not middle aged anymore. You're entering your senior years, right?

Medicare, social security, retirement, and then looming right after a 70. So what I'm sensing is that there's certainly less time ahead of me. the clock is ticking and that's significant in life. when we're in our thirties, we feel like we have a lot of time ahead of us, and we do generally speaking.

But when 60 starts to approach, we realize, you know what? There's less time ahead of us. And so what that does for me. Is, it makes me wanna be more intentional with the time I have left to live this great life I have to the fullest, what's left on my bucket list. Not just places I wanna visit, but things I wanna do, things I wanna experience, the kind of person I wanna be.

And that's what Turning 60 is awakening in me, this urgency to be me as much as possible.

[00:02:50] Karen: Wow, okay. I love all of this. How do encapsulate everything you just said and bring that down to even the younger decades? So we feel that sense of urgency to embrace our dreams, become who we are. Or does this just take time? how do we do this at a younger age?

[00:03:12] Tamar: there's something that I recognized as a younger person, and I think this is true for young people in general. I remember when I was in my twenties, I was told to start a 401k account. put $50 in. I didn't do that. Retirement was way off in the future. I wish I did that That was not for all of you young people listening, do it. Do it right, get that compounded interest going, it's very hard for us. To envision our future, decades in the future. We don't think that way when we're in our twenties and thirties. We just don't. it's natural that we don't, we're younger, we're animals, human beings are animals.

We're younger animals who are focused on other things in life and much in the same way. At the age of 59, I'm not thinking about having kids anymore. I don't have kids. I was certainly thinking about that in my twenties and thirties, but age changes us. And what I've noticed is that age changes us in a variety of ways, and so this urgency that I feel being 59 and a half with 60 looming, I don't know that I felt it when I was 30.

Even though I was ambitious, I had dreams. I fulfilled many of them. I was a go-getter. It was a different quality because in my mind, I still had 60 years ahead of me. I planned to be here into my nineties. I don't even know if I'm gonna make it to 60. Who knows? We never know that we're gonna be here tomorrow, so we can't assume that either.

But assuming we live a typical. Long life. I believe that as we get closer to the, it's like an escalator right at the airport, when you're on those people movers, you're going. But as you get closer, you see the end coming. It's okay, it's coming. And I think that's what age does for us.

And I think it's actually a good thing.

[00:04:42] Karen: Yeah. I just started reading a book that many people have already read. It's the 5:00 AM Club. I'm not sure if you're familiar with

[00:04:50] Tamar: No, I'm not.

[00:04:51] Karen: Okay, I'll drop a link in the show notes. It's about reclaiming your mornings to live your best life and, setting up a, wellness morning routine and. I heard, this thing is packed with these amazing quotes.

I, I'm listening to the audio book version actually, and I heard this quote and I thought, I've got to tell her this. it said, too many people die when they're 60 and are buried when they're 90. and that it hit me. It actually gives me the goosebumps just because. So many people, I hear it all over every day.

I'm too old. I've lost my chance, and that makes me so sad to think that people simply, instead of thinking it. Thinking of things as this upward climb, like the escalator getting off at the top. They're thinking of it as like a downward decline and things are getting worse and worse. How? How do we change our mindset about this?

[00:05:59] Tamar: I wanna acknowledge something about going up that escalator and sometimes it can't feel like going down the escalator, over the hill going downhill. Our bodies change. Our mental capacity changes, our brains change. that's very real for some of us. It's, more acute than others.

but physical health is a really. It's a real key component that changes as we age, aches and pains start that we never had before. So I'm, I have to say that's real. And I definitely notice my brain and my thinking changing as I age. I'm more emotional. I'm more intuitive. There's some wonderful wisdom that's coming in that I didn't really have access to as much earlier on, but in terms of that sharp memory that I used to count on in my younger years, that's softening and that's just coming with age.

And so I feel like. For those of us as we age and we start to see our physical form change and age in ways we expected, in ways we didn't expect, that's real. And that can feel limiting. I, I have osteoporosis now. I'm not gonna go jump on trampolines anymore. Does that mean, I'm too old to have fun on a trampoline?

Or does that mean I'm being smart? About not putting my spine at risk for compression fractures. That's what that means. And so there's a reality check that happens when we age in the physical body, and I wanna name that because I don't wanna gloss over and just act be who you wanna be, whatever age you are.

There's a reality to aging. I don't judge it and I don't mind. I know I don't mind having my gray hair come in and my wrinkles come in. That's part of aging as well. I'm very positive about aging naturally. As I choose to today, I always reserve the right to change my mind tomorrow. That's what we get to do as people, is we get to make choices.

But, aging is complicated and I don't wanna minimize that, but to your point, people die at 16 or buried at 90. Yeah. There's a lot of people that give up that feel like they don't get to be center stage in their life anymore to create what they want. I would question if those people felt that way, even in their twenties and thirties and forties.

[00:07:58] Karen: Fair enough. I very good point there. I, back to this aging and the physical process of your body declining. how, wild is it when you look at pictures of people in their forties, their fifties, their sixties, maybe just three decades ago? And it is a wildly difference. Difference of appearance between what these different ages look like and there is so much expectation abo among men and women to remain almost this youthful appearance, but maintain that wisdom that comes with age.

How do we deal with all of these pressures?

[00:08:44] Tamar: we get to make choices. everything is a choice in life. Even choosing not to choose is a choice, so we can't get away from choice. So I just wanna say that, we are all empowered every day of our lives to make choices and then live with the consequences that ensue. A lot of times when I can't figure out what to do, I think, what's the consequence I want?

And let me choose into it that way. There is tremendous social pressure to remain youthful, right? There's a billion dollar industry marketing, anti-aging, youthfulness, all of that, right? And we buy into it literally, or we don't. And with we're, also very, as human animals, we are social creatures.

We are very susceptible to conformity and peer pressure. It's natural, it's part of our wiring as, animals and it's actually a good thing for the most part. but it can get in our way so that if I am letting my hair turn gray and everybody in my, social circle and everybody I see on television and everybody I see at the grocery store doesn't let their hair turn gray, I might feel freaky showing up as the only person with gray hair.

And so I feel like. We get to make choices again, as of how, as to how we age and it, and so again, my own personal choice is to see what nature has in store for me. I'm very curious. I know what I look like as a younger person. What am I gonna look as an old lady if I make it that far? Am I gonna have white hair?

Am I gonna have wrinkles like Georgia O'Keefe, I'm into that. Let's see what happens. But I do, But, there, there is something too about aging that I wanna acknowledge. I've never seen myself look like this before. for many decades I looked the same. I generally look the same anyway, except for the wrinkles and the gray hair and what gravity's doing to my skin.

I'm not recognizing the person that's showing up in the mirror and she's showing up quicker and quicker as I age. whoa, who is this older person showing up? I have a choice to make. I can resist her, confront her, and criticize her. Be afraid of her, or I can embrace her with curiosity and warmth and welcome her and just say, Hey, it's you.

Look at, this older version of you that's showing up in the mirror. Nice to meet you. Let's, keep going down the path of life together. That's my choice. To take a healthy approach to my own self image because I'm not 20-year-old. I'm not 40-year-old. I'm not, that person anymore.

[00:10:53] Karen: Yeah. I listened to a ton of podcasts and Mel Robbins has the number one podcast right now, and I was listening to one of her really old, episodes and she almost blew up right around this particular episode. And she mentioned waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror, and I don't remember her exact age.

I think she's in her mid fifties and. She had so much negative self-talk and hatred about the way she looked. she resisted wanting to even look at herself and something in her snapped in a good way, and she reached out to the mirror. I love this. She gave the mirror a high five, and she created this routine in the morning of giving herself a high five and saying, Hey, like you did it.

You're here. Let's do this. And it was this routine that helped her get into. A positive mindset around what she looked like, accepting herself and just starting the day off in a really positive way instead of looking in the mirror and, saying, oh my gosh, the bags, the wrinkles. I'm a mess. I, I struggle with that all the time and I tried this, and I gotta tell you, it felt really cheesy.

And silly in all the things, but it is interesting. So I actually, I wanna, I want you to give it a try, but all the

listeners too, give it a try and see how different it is to look at yourself and accept yourself and celebrate yourself instead of say something negative. it, really, is impactful and it's a reminder for me to do that more because it's definitely a, morning struggle for me.

[00:12:47] Tamar: Yeah, I hear that. And a lot of us, when we look in the mirror, it's a confrontation. And when you're confronting yourself in the mirror with all that criticism, guess who's staring back at you? A very unattractive version of yourself. It's not warm, it's not gracious, it's not lit up. Other people see you lit up, warm and gracious.

You don't, 'cause that's not who you present to yourself in the mirror. And I think part of what. You're talking about with Mel giving her a high five is, can I have a warmer, softer image, stare back at me, and then maybe I can see the beauty come through despite the criticism.

[00:13:17] Karen: How do we support our friends and loved ones who are going through the aging process in really struggling with a specific birthday? I, this is coming up more and more. I'm 46 and, I have friends of all ages and I would say, everyone kind of moves through the 40, oh, yay, I'm turning 40.

But once that 50. And then 60 60 does seem to be something, because I have had more people not wanna celebrate that birthday and tame down any celebration we might plan or whatever because they actually seriously are struggling with this concept that they're 60. Tell me, how do we support our loved ones family?

wives, husbands with these big decade birthdays.

[00:14:14] Tamar: I wrote, just to bring this up, I wrote my book, how to Have a Happy Birthday, and I have this companion workbook. The workbook actually has questions that help us dive into what some of our issues might be around aging. One of the questions I really like. Because I feel like the people that don't wanna turn 60 are really struggling against their self image of being an older person.

And so the one of the questions I ask is, what have I lost that I no longer have now that I'm older? And we can come up with some answers, right? We can come up with some answers of what, I can come up with some answers of what I no longer have now that I'm 59 and a half that I had when I was 20 and 30.

[00:14:51] Karen: Yeah. What? What would you say? What

are

[00:14:53] Tamar: my, I mean my ability to have children. My ability to jump on a trampoline. my, my luscious, dark black hair, right? Smooth skin. just on a superficial level, on a deep level. my anxiety, some of my neuroses. I mean that too, right? But then the question is, the next question is what do I have now?

That I didn't have before as a result of being older. And I can tell you right now, self-confidence, deeper wisdom, more empathy and emotion, a, greater enjoyment of life, a greater ability to enjoy life, right? So I think we need to ask ourselves some questions, have some heart to heart conversations with ourselves, and we can do that as friend.

We can do that with our friends. okay, so you're afraid of turning 60. Why? What's going on for you? What are you afraid you're losing as this number lubes? But what do you have now? You get to have entering into your sixties. I have more freedom now. When I turned 60, guess what? I'm going to India for 10 weeks with my husband.

I couldn't have done that when I turned 50. I was a working girl. I'm not working now in that way. So I had the freedom, like hooray. I love, I'm so excited about my sixties, if that's what that means. So I feel like. Let's have some heart to heart conversations and allow people a safe space to really share what they're grieving.

Because if they're not looking forward to a big milestone birthday, it's typically because they're afraid of losing something and that can trigger grief. A lot of us are very attached to our youth, especially if we were hot mamas and hot papas rocking and rolling back when we were younger. That was part of our identity.

It was part of our fun, it was our sex appeal. And as we get older, a lot of us, especially women. Start to say that we feel invisible. We feel like we're not as powerful, we're not as attractive. all these words come up when we start talking to women who are aging. And I wanna say something here about that.

I definitely am invisible as I'm 59 and a half, but I'm invisible to the 20 and 30 year olds. I don't wanna be visible to them. I wanna be visible to my peer group. And you know what? I'm very visible to my peer group. My peer group sees me. I see them, so I wanna challenge anyone who thinks they're becoming invisible.

You're actually not. You're staying in. You're staying in step with your peer group. You're visible to them. They're visible to you. We're all aging with our peer group, and I really like that. I like aging with my peer group. I like aging with those people Born in the mid 1960s.

[00:17:04] Karen: Yeah, I love that. I was so excited to tell you the story. I couldn't wait, so I just got off the phone about an hour ago with my own mom. She is turning 70 in, let's see, 10 days, and she took a month off work. And she is in Europe with my dad and they are planning. They went on this wonderful Mediterranean cruise together and she is staying, my dad is flying home.

She is staying to do the Camino in Spain with her best friend and. She has trained for this. This has been a lifelong dream of hers, and she was not gonna let anything stop her. And I saw a picture of her. She's living her best life. She's healthy, she's vibrant, she's confident. And I just felt if this is what 70 looks like, bring it, because it, just gave me a lot of inspiration on.

Don't stop. this was a goal of hers for a long time and here she is at 70 doing it. And I just thought I need to list some things that are lifelong dreams and continue to work towards those no matter the age,

and do them while I can. But 70, I just, I feel so proud of her and just seeing her smile and her vibrancy makes me.

Really, it feels like it has carved a path for me in a direction that's very healthy and somewhat exciting. And, I just, I couldn't wait to tell you that because I, knew you were turning 60 and then the 70, what do you think about turning 80?

[00:18:50] Tamar: it's funny, I've spoken with people who've turned 80. I talk to people ahead of me. I want, they're trailblazers. What's it like turning 60, 70, 80? And from what I'm hearing about 80, 80 is when things start to happen. to your body in a particular way that's more dramatic than in earlier decades, oh boy, I didn't expect that.

So it's possible that's true. I don't know. But you said something about your mom, first off, it gave me chills and the best way to hear that this is how she celebrated her 70th. It's a great example of taking charge of your birthday, planning for it, doing what you want, and then allowing yourself to enjoy it.

And so I give her. please wish her a happy birthday for me 10

days from now. but you also said something else about your mom and her fulfilling this dream of walking the Camino. She's healthy and she trained for it. In other words, she's physically fit. This is something we cannot overestimate enough.

The importance of investing in your health alongside your wealth. We all know that we have to put our money into those 4 0 1 Ks and get our retirement savings up if we can, but you've gotta invest in your health as well, because if your body's not working and it's not healthy when you're 60 or 70 or 80, life's not fun.

You don't get to hike the Camino. So I, can't overestimate that enough that being healthy is a very important thing to invest in, to make sure that you can enjoy your life as long as possible. So I just wanna say that, what was the other question you just asked me? Oh, about turning 80.

About turning 80, yeah.

Yeah. It's a big number and if we make it to 80, a big achievement, a lot of people start dying. I have friends and family that didn't make it to 70.

[00:20:19] Karen: That just, that hits pretty hard. I just, being 46, I'll, tell you, I, when I was 45, I felt actually a little bit different than I do now. I read all these studies and, it said there's two major ages in your life that you experience aging rapidly and. 45 and 46 were markers, and I was cruising through 45, feeling pretty good, not understanding any of the aches and pains, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I feel like my memory.

Started just struggling a little bit and I was feeling like some back aches and I feel like I'm really healthy and active and, there was multiple symptoms that started stacking up where I started really feeling my age and I realized, oh my gosh, I am in perimenopause and, I, I, It was hard for me to say that word.

It felt, and I will like, I'm more comfortable with it now. it felt unsexy. Old and undesirable, and there's something inside of me that felt like, okay, you're past your prime. this is the marker that you are starting. And it was, a journey for me to ex. Accept that, process it, and then even feel comfortable talking about it.

Now, I can talk about it all day long, and all I wanna do is educate my girlfriends and even all the men in our lives about what this, is like for women and what they're going through too with hormones. But I have personally struggled with some of these concepts myself. This hasn't been, Karen is so positive and, thinks it's so easy to age.

I have been hit in the face with all these aging things happening really in the last year, and, I'm trying to learn how to best work with my body and also just be authentic about it. If, you tell other people I'm struggling with this, many of your close friends probably are too.

[00:22:39] Tamar: Yeah. Yeah. And you're, eliminating Yeah. And you're eliminating the shame. we have, thank goodness this generation is talking a lot about menopause and pre menopause, thank God, because it wasn't spoken about when it started happening to, to me, in my right around the same age you are.

So this is almost 15 years ago. Think back society. Society wasn't really talking about this back then. I was getting anxiety. I was getting depressed. I wasn't able to sleep. I was getting emotional. I'm like, what the heck's happening? This isn't me. Thank God. My acupuncturist said, your hormones are changing and it's perimenopause.

And then I was okay understanding where it was coming from, but if you don't know where it's coming from, you feel like you're going. something's really wrong. I'm turning into someone I don't know. So it's really important that we share and we talk with our girlfriends, with our male friends, with our audiences about this aging process because I think that the more that we can air it out, we can be prepared for it when it comes and, feel more supported through the journey once you hit menopause.

I found for me, and I've heard this from other women, everything gets much better. All those symptoms disappear. You're on the other side of the river, men sees is like a river that flows. And when we cross it, when we're a young girl and we cross it, we become, childbearing young, women.

And when we cross it again, we lose our child-bearing abilities and we become older women. And it's a very distinct change that happens each way you cross the river. I'm very different being postmenopausal than I was premenopausal. that's just nature, right? And that's part of aging. And unless we know that it's coming, it can be hard.

And yeah, we can feel grief, that our childbearing years are over and that our sex appeal, which is related to childbearing by the way, it's really great that we're so sexy when we're young so that we can be attractive and have babies, right? that's just the DNA working, that's our animal nature.

So let's just. Sometimes I look to nature like as our animal selves to help make sense of some things that I otherwise couldn't figure out. but it's lovely. I like being this age. I can't overstate it enough. There are consequences to it that are, not as ideal, right? I talked about the aches and pains and the osteoporosis, but in terms of the wisdom, the confidence, the ability to have the life I want more than ever.

Hooray. I made it. I feel really good about that.

[00:24:54] Karen: Yeah. Tell me about the ways that men and women process aging differently.

[00:25:00] Tamar: I think that, I don't know. I'm not an expert on that specific part of the aging process. I'm not a, I don't consider myself an aging expert. I just consider someone who's been paying a lot of attention, Yes. and, have my very strong ideas about it. It seems like in up until recently, men were allowed to get old.

Men were allowed to get old. They were allowed to get their wrinkles, their gray hair. They were allowed to lose their hair. We still found them sexy and attractive. They weren't insecure about it. Society, the, billion dollar youth promoting market discovered that they were missing out on 50% of the market by not marketing to men.

So now they are. So now I'm seeing men, with all sorts of procedures being done right, the laser removal of the top layer of sun damaged skin to get that baby smooth skin and the, the hair dye, of course, and the. Facelifts and whatever I'm seeing that happen with men more than I've ever seen before because they too are now starting to feel the pressure of needing to remain young and vir, whether it's because of the workplace, we've become much more obsessed with hiring the young people, especially as our workplace has become more technologically, saturated because we know that young people are just so quick with the tech stuff.

generally speaking, so men, and I've, I hear this from my husband who's 59, and he, reminds me like. tomorrow men also feel the pressure of getting older. They also feel like they're being left behind for younger men, so that there's now a need for men to feel like, to stay in the game, to stay in the race.

They have to look younger as well. I think it's a disservice to everybody. I feel like this pressure to remain looking young doesn't help anybody, especially the young people who are coming up. and it's up to us to change it. I can either buy. Or reject what's being sold to me. It's my choice.

When we do something collectively, we either give it power or we reduce the power. That's our choice as individuals that form a collective marketing power. I, the other thing about men I will say is that. This is again, DNA in nature. Men can still have babies well into their seventies, right?

Even their eighties. So because of that, and that's, actually a good thing for the human species because we need, back in the days when we were procreating and getting the human species up and running, it's good that men could still, Impregnate younger women of child, varying age so that the chances of the species continuing was good.

So let's just keep that in mind that's a nature thing. That's a DNA thing. And but consequently, older men tend to be, still be attracted to younger women if they're single and they're looking in the dating field, they're, is a, 59 and a half year old man looking to date a 59 and a half year old woman, or is he looking for a 47-year-old woman?

I'm not looking, I, don't need to date. I'm married, but if I were single, I wouldn't be looking for a 47-year-old man. I'd be looking for my peer group and maybe a little bit older, but it doesn't work like that with men. So men and women are different as we age, and society treats us differently, although that is starting to change.

[00:27:51] Karen: What are some ways that you think we can help celebrate these big milestone birthdays if we're not on some crazy budget and we can't go to Europe? what are some ways that you have found in all your interview experience and research that is meaningful to celebrate these big decades?

[00:28:11] Tamar: So you just used the key word right there, meaningful. So what's meaningful to me as I hit a, as I hit a milestone, birthday is gonna be different than what's meaningful to you. The trick to having a happy birthday, whether it's a milestone birthday or not, is for you to get in touch with what would bring you joy, what would bring you pleasure, what would delight you, and then plan for it.

in advance to make it happen so that it can happen. Is it a solitary journey? is it a solitary celebration with just one other or two other people? Is it a big celebration with a bunch of people? Is it everybody from your life or just your friends? Like you have to start asking yourself what would bring you joy to celebrate your milestone birthday?

You can do it without spending a lot of money. Let's say you wanna have a big party and it's a barbecue. Where everybody's, and they're doing, potluck. you're not spending anything except maybe you're paying for the, paper plates, right? So you can ask friends and family and enlist their support to help you celebrate.

there's all sorts of ways that you can do, but you have to be creative and thoughtful about it well in advance. I'm not gonna wake up on my 60th birthday and say, okay, now. I have to plan for it, right? Same for you, for your 50th. You gotta start thinking about what you wanna do and allow yourself to be flexible.

I, for years, I wanted a huge disco party. When I turned 50, I was single. I'd never had a wedding. I wanted the disco ball and all my friends, I was gonna rent a room and hire the dj. That's what I was gonna do. My birthday when I turned 50, fell on a Saturday night, and I'd known that for years.

nine months or I don't know. Actually, it was just four months before my 50th birthday, I got engaged. So suddenly I was gonna have a wedding a year later. I wasn't, I didn't need to have two big parties in one year. So I changed my plans for my 50th birthday. I still had a party with family and friends, but it was much smaller.

It was in my own home and it was lovely. But, planned for what you want, and then be flexible as life changes. So think about it. Think about what would make you happy and you don't have to spend a lot of money. There are plenty of ways to find deep pleasure without spending a dime. I sit in my garden and I watch the hummingbirds sip from the flowers I planted for them.

That's priceless. That's priceless. It only costs the money that took was for me to plant the flower and water it. there's lots of joy we can have

[00:30:24] Karen: Yeah. Yeah.

I, first off the gardening thing, I, just bought a little greenhouse and, sent some pictures to some friends and they're like, embrace your old lady era. I'm like, yes. Like

[00:30:40] Tamar: If that's what you're gonna do, yeah.

[00:30:42] Karen: I love going and pruning my roses and watching my seedlings and I'm not terribly successful, but I find a lot of joy in it.

And, you mentioned something though before about planning ahead for your birthday and think of what would be meaningful to you. I'm gonna tell you what not to do, and I'm, like, famous for this is. Doing something that I think is wonderful for somebody else, and it's not how they wanted to celebrate.

I'm like, classic doing this. I put together this surprise birthday. I paid for, a rental, a cabin in the mountains and had a bunch of this person's friends come and, although it was like, thank you so much. it was absolutely not what this person wanted, but what I would've loved, and I need to pause and ask my loved ones how they wanna celebrate, because many times I am deciding my idea.

Sounds so great. They must love it too. And I've made that mistake of going down that path multiple times for multiple types of celebrations. And I will share with my listeners here, make sure you're considering what this person actually really wants instead of what you think you would want.

[00:32:07] Tamar: Thank you so much for sharing that because that's really true. That's really true. The question here is what? What do you want and how can I help you make it happen? What would make you happy for your birthday that's coming up in six weeks or in a month? Let's talk about some ideas. Can I help you have a happy birthday?

What? What sounds fun to you? What can I do? And then if they're like, eh, I don't really feel like celebrating this year. Then you get to say, why not? What's going on? And I don't feel like turning 50, eh, Great. Let's talk about that. 'cause you deserve to celebrate the fact that you made it to 50. We know people who didn't.

Aging is a privilege. Aging is a privilege. So let's celebrate the fact that you're making it to 50. And what are some of, let's talk about what might be bothering you, about turning 50. and, let them start to have some deeper conversations with you or with themselves around.

What their resistance might be to a particular age so that they can overcome it and allow themselves to celebrate themselves on their birthday, which is the most spiritual day of their year. It is the most sacred day of their year. It is the most powerful day of the year because it's their day, their life began.

There's nothing more powerful than your birthday.

[00:33:11] Karen: yeah. There are so many disappointments around birthdays. Not only the fear of aging and realizing, oh, I'm turning 40 or, 60, or whatever that is. But disappointments of others not celebrating how you wanted to be celebrated. Do you, tell me about the disappointments that you've heard about and how to best avoid those.

[00:33:35] Tamar: yeah. So the birthday Blues is chapter two of my book, how to Have a Happy Birthday. Why? Because it's a thing. The birthday blues are a big deal, and part of that, part of what creates the birthday blues are unmet expectations. Typically, when we are children, our birthday avoidance, I think there's a num, there's a, Like a number line, where we're either birthday positive or birthday avoidant or somewhere in the middle for, and I think if you were to draw a line right down the middle, half of us are on one side, half are on the other. So our birthday avoidance, our birthday pain, our birthday anxiety, our birthday blues, I believe typically start in childhood where we woke up, we were happy it was our birthday and our parents might have forgotten, believe it or not, or treated it like it was just another day.

Or we saw our friends have cake and parties and we had nothing. Or our dad, I spoke with one podcast host. Her birthday cor correlated with the opening of fishing season. Her dad would go fishing on her birthday instead of celebrating her day. So the messages we get from a young age about ourselves and our worthiness, and our lovability get really entrenched when one or two birthdays come and go without it being a happy birthday.

So we shut down to that. The birthday anxiety that can come. Now as adults, as we age, as we face a milestone birthday is very real. we talked about. Those, issues around aging. But I think that what we have to remember is that when it comes to a birthday and celebrating a birthday, we can't rely on other people.

To do for us what we can only do for ourselves. We can't outsource our joy. We can't sit passively waiting for people to prove how much they love us by going all out and renting the cabin and making a surprise party for us. that sounds awesome to me, but to your friend, we already talked about that, but you showed how much energy and how much love you were willing to put out for your friend by doing all of that.

That's what all of us expect on our birthday. We want someone to be a hero for us and go to the world's end to show us how much they love us on our birthday, and that's. That's a recipe for major disappointment every single year, because nobody's a mind reader. Everybody's in their world. My birthday is my responsibility.

It's nobody else's. When I, I've already, it's, September, but as of July, six months out, I was inviting people to my birthday dinner in New York City. Before I leave for India, I have friends in New York City. I'm already planning my six months in advance to make sure that they'll be there, right?

Because I wanna have. What I want for my birthday. That was me planning it. That wasn't my friends trying to figure out what they could do for me. It was, I enlisted the support of my husband to do that outreach to my friends. But the point is, you have to take charge of your birthday. You have to enlist your friends and your family to participate as you want them to, and then you show up with an open heart and a bright spirit and see how the day unfold.

[00:36:08] Karen: Gosh, I just feel like it's such practical advice and we don't talk about birthdays and all these things much, and it really, some of these days are devastating and so disappointing and filled with anxiety. I was really interested, you said half of us have some birthday anxiety and other others don't. what really inspired you to write this book?

[00:36:34] Tamar: I'd had a really terrible birthday when I turned 18. It was my first year away from home. I was in university for the first year, baby, the family, four kids. And as I said, I didn't have any plans. My only plan was to wake up and get all the phone calls from my family, wishing me a happy birthday.

That was a very simple birthday I had planned, and the phone calls never came. My entire family forgot my birthday. When I turned 18, I was devastated and it, unfortunately reinforced ideas that I wasn't lovable, I wasn't important, I wasn't memorable. it was not good. Two years later though, I was turning 20 another milestone birthday.

I was spending my junior year abroad living in France. I woke up, still didn't have plans, but no one was around to do it for me. And I knew that, just the time difference alone. I wasn't gonna get phone calls at 8:00 AM in France. So I, thought, whoa, today's my day. No one's around. I'm gonna take the day off class.

I walked through town, I bought myself a fancy bottle of French perfume I could not afford on my student budget. and I had friends over later for cake. I had the best birthday I'd ever had because I took charge of it and I wasn't waiting passively. So keep that in mind that those were the two back to back experiences that woke me up to the power.

I had to make my birthday happy. And from that point forward, I started paying attention to the energy that would build to the rituals that I would do, to the things that worked and the things that didn't work year after year. But the, IM, the, catalyst that made me realize I needed to write a self-help book happened probably about 15 years ago.

I'd had a friend, a relatively new friend, and I knew his birthday was coming and I said, Hey, what are you doing for your birthday? And he's oh, I don't like my birthday. When his birthday came, I brought him a big, beautiful box of pink donuts, that big pink box, and I said, happy birthday.

And he hit his hand on the table and said, I told you I don't like my birthday. And he got really mad at me. I didn't even take the donuts. And I thought, oh boy, he meant it. He really meant it. It wasn't one of those situations where he just thought, oh, I don't like my birthday, and he needed somebody to do some SMA tasks for him, which I was willing to do.

He didn't like his birthday in a serious way, and I walked, away thinking, oh boy, there's something there. And I started thinking about what might be there, and very quickly, based on my own experiences and stories I'd known of other people, I started to realize I need to write a self-help book about how to have a happy birthday.

That was the catalyst. And then I talked to countless people over the years. It took me years to write the book because again, the birthday comes with its own energy, like Chris. Think of the Christmas spirit. You don't feel the Christmas spirit in July. You feel it in November. Here it comes. And the blah, same with your birthday.

There's a birthday spirit that starts to show up and you start to feel, and so that started to inform like, oh yeah, my birthday's coming, and I'd start writing and writing, and then my birthday would happen. And I'd write and write because I had the direct experience in insight to put into the book as a form of wisdom.

that's what inspired me. And the good news is it's helped a lot of people have happier birthdays. People that have avoided their birthdays, that didn't like their birthdays, they're suddenly celebrating their selves and they're transformed by it. That's the thing, when we allow ourselves to put ourselves in the center of our day, just one day a year, take the day off work, press the pause button, stop pleasing other people.

Put yourself in the center of your life one day a year. To have a happy birthday. It is transformational, it is joyful, and it's empowering. And so I hope that everybody who's on the fence about their birthdays or actively avoidant and anxious about it, I encourage you to consider that there's another way for you to celebrate your birthday with joy and with healing and with, delight.

It's transformational and it's possible.

[00:40:03] Karen: I have. Those people in my life as well that are the pink donut declining friend. and, it is somewhat concerning. It in my heart actually feels sad when I see that. but I have one last question for you, and it has to do with. Acknowledging birthdays. You mentioned in the, previously about wanting to receive a phone call.

I have had this conversation with a couple of friends of mine and I thought this was so funny. A particular friend of mine named Chris said. I can tell who is really deeply connected with me and wants to celebrate me by those who actually reach out to me and call. I don't like all these happy birthday things on Facebook or Instagram.

It's a cheap way of saying something. Just pick up the phone and call me. And I thought, that is interesting. I, thought it was an interesting comment. I now try out, obviously, to call him every year on his birthday, and I have that in my calendar. but how do you think it's best to acknowledge birthdays?

if there's no party planned, and maybe even, they're not even a very close friend, it's their birthday, what can we do for someone that might brighten their day?

[00:41:21] Tamar: It's a great question and there's a lot of different answers. It depends on your relationship with the person, if it's a family member or a close friend, that's very different. And yes, picking up the phone I is appropriate and, I think the right thing to do. If it's a former classmate and a former colleague and you don't really stay in touch.

I get onto Facebook every morning and I say, whose birthday it is, and I wish them a happy birthday, but what I don't do is I don't hit that pre-made AI button. Birthday greeting. I don't do that. it sounds like maybe you do. I don't, because to me, if you do, that's okay. If you don't, that's okay.

but for me, because when that comes to me, it doesn't feel like any energy was put into it. I make the effort to say, happy birthday, Karen. Today's your day and I hope you're enjoying it with good spirit and good cake, and that you have a great year ahead. Like I make the effort to send a birthday wish with true words of the moment.

And I know that has more energy. And love in it because I took a minute to actually craft something personal to that person that day, and I do that. And I enjoyed even with. High school classmates I haven't seen in 40 years. I still do that because I enjoy doing that and I'm into birthdays and I'm trying to help raise their spirit by sending some love because we all wanna give love on a birthday.

We're all like rock stars on our birthday that wanna receive it, and we wanna give the rockstar, love on their birthday. But in terms of the phone call, I agree that you have to know the person. What my husband and I do is we're now do. Voice memos where we'll sing happy birthday to the person and talk to them.

It'll be a minute and a half long, two minutes long, and then we text it to them because a lot of times I'll call, I used to call and sing into their voicemail, but the voicemail would be full or they wouldn't listen to the voicemail. For days, a text will come through and so a voice memo is my compromise now.

forgiving them real time energy that's uplifting.

[00:43:06] Karen: I love it. I like that too. I actually had a family member. In advance text a bunch of family members around the nation who weren't local. Hey, can you record a 32nd Happy birthday video for my wife? And he compiled all them and played them all for her, and it was actually really easy for me. I just spoken to the camera for 30 seconds.

And she got about like 20 or 25 of those, and I heard it went over really, well. That might be a low cost way to do something for someone, but

I really, I love the voice memo, love. Love the voice memo idea. I think it's just totally on point.

[00:43:47] Tamar: Yeah, and it's easy to do and you don't, and then, sometimes people pick up the phone and you don't plan for them to pick up the phone 'cause you're ready to go head out to work. so it, it takes care of that too. Although when they pick up the phone, I feel honored.

that thing you were just talking about, the 32nd video clip that I've seen done for the milestone birthdays, it was done for my brother when he turned 60. I'm asking my husband to compile those videos for me. So when I turn 60 in India, I'm gonna have something to look at and I'm gonna have some birthday energy coming my way on the other side of the world.

So it's a wonderful idea and it's, I think it's really good for milestone birthdays

[00:44:21] Karen: Yeah, Gosh, I just feel like it's such practical advice and we don't talk about birthdays and all these things much, and it really, some of these days are devastating and so disappointing and filled with anxiety. I was really interested, you said half of us have some birthday anxiety and other others don't. what really inspired you to write this book?

[00:44:48] Tamar: I'd had a really terrible birthday when I turned 18. It was my first year away from home. I was in university for the first year, baby, the family, four kids. And as I said, I didn't have any plans. My only plan was to wake up and get all the phone calls from my family, wishing me a happy birthday.

It's transformational and it's possible.

[00:48:17] Karen: Yeah, I have. Those people in my life as well that are the pink donut declining friend. and, it is somewhat concerning. It in my heart actually feels sad when I see that. but I have one last question for you, and it has to do with. Acknowledging birthdays. You mentioned in the, previously about wanting to receive a phone call.

if there's no party planned, and maybe even, they're not even a very close friend, it's their birthday, what can we do for someone that might brighten their day?

[00:49:35] Tamar: It's a great question and there's a lot of different answers. It depends on your relationship with the person, if it's a family member or a close friend, that's very different. And yes, picking up the phone I is appropriate and, I think the right thing to do. If it's a former classmate and a former colleague and you don't really stay in touch.

forgiving them real time energy that's uplifting.

[00:51:20] Karen: I love it. I like that too. I actually had a family member. In advance text a bunch of family members around the nation who weren't local. Hey, can you record a 32nd Happy birthday video for my wife? And he compiled all them and played them all for her, and it was actually really easy for me. I just spoken to the camera for 30 seconds.

And she got about like 20 or 25 of those, and I heard it went over really, well. That might be a low cost way to do something for someone, but I really, I love the voice memo, love. Love the voice memo idea. I think it's just totally on point.

[00:52:01] Tamar: Yeah, and it's easy to do and you don't, and then, sometimes people pick up the phone and you don't plan for them to pick up the phone 'cause you're ready to go head out to work. so it, it takes care of that too. Although when they pick up the phone, I feel honored.

So it's a wonderful idea and it's, I think it's really good for milestone birthdays

[00:52:35] Karen: Yeah,

I do too. I, you are so articulate and I, just feel like so honored that you came on because I hope this touches people in a way that they feel more celebrated, more loved, more confident at the age they're at. That's our whole message with this podcast, and you are just like the perfect person to come on in and share this message really.

[00:53:00] Tamar: you. Thank you, Karen. It's deeply gratifying to talk to, bright spirits like you that are open to this conversation and that are willing to go deeply into figuring out what's going on here. Why aren't we allowed to just thrive and bloom whatever age we are with joy and gratitude and, our power intact.

Why can't we all do that? We can, but it, we have to have those conversations. And so by welcoming me onto your podcast, I hope that it's helping your listen. I hope it's hope. I hope it's helping your listeners have permission to be themselves without apology and with Grace

[00:53:33] Karen: yes, So tell me what is the best way for our listeners to get in touch with you? They wanna share a message. They wanna get ahold of your book. What are your socials? Give me all of the details.

[00:53:45] Tamar: You can get all that information by going to one website called. It's how to have a happy birthday.com and you can find out where to get my book. I have an ebook, an audio book card back paperback. I also have my socials author dot tamar on, Instagram and Facebook. But how to have a happy birthday.com.

You can message me there. I'm also a birthday coach. I just hung my shingles, the birthday coach. So if anyone's in interested in some birthday coaching a month before and a week after to, I'm up for that too. So how to have a happy birthday.com.

[00:54:16] Karen: Oh, that's so cool. A birthday coach.

[00:54:19] Tamar: Yeah.

[00:54:20] Karen: Wow. Okay. I like, this is really cool. I was actually thinking, gosh, maybe I should hire you for my mom. She doesn't need it. Your mom doesn't need it. I can tell you right now, she does not need it. I would be most helpful for people that are having a hard time embracing their birthday or figuring out what they want to do to celebrate themselves. it would be a one hour call about a month before their birthday with some preliminary homework you would do to submit to me, so I could see what your birthday issues might be.

[00:54:45] Tamar: So we could talk about that. And then a week after your birthday we'd say, okay, what worked, what didn't? What can you do for next year? So it's just like a one, one and done kind

[00:54:53] Karen: Yeah, I love it. we'll drop notes into the show notes so everyone can access that really easily if they're interested. Thank you so much for coming on. You were such a pleasure, and I know that this message is gonna change lives for the better, so thank you so much.

[00:55:11] Tamar: Thank you, Karen. It was a real pleasure to be here with you today. Thank you.

And that brings us to the end of another episode. I hope you enjoyed the content, and I'd love it if you would share this with a friend or family that you think would enjoy it. This is such a great time, middle age, and I wanna spread that message. The best way to do that is to share it, and if you haven't already followed us or subscribed, make sure to do that so you don't miss any of our new content.

I'm going to leave you like I do every episode. Remember, it's never too late. You are not too old, and you're definitely not dead.

Are These 4 Wellness Trends Worth It?

Karen Stones — Tue, 16 Sep 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Curious about those wellness trends flooding your social media feed? Karen dives headfirst into the world of middle-age wellness experiments, testing four popular treatments that promise everything from mental clarity to glowing skin. Ever wonder if that Instagram-famous head spa is worth the hype, or whether you could actually survive a cold plunge? Karen transforms from skeptical observer to brave guinea pig, documenting her real experiences with head spas, cold plunges, infrared saunas, and red light therapy. Her mission: separate the wellness wheat from the trendy chaff and give you the honest scoop on what's worth your time and money.

Ready to invest in yourself without breaking the bank? Karen shares vulnerable moments of panic in ice-cold water, blissful relaxation under flowing halos, and surprising discoveries about her own resilience. From the $10 red light session that left her skin surprisingly soft to the $100 head spa experience that felt "absolutely heavenly," she breaks down costs, benefits, and whether you should book your appointment today. The conversation takes an empowering turn when Karen realizes these experiments aren't just about wellness—they're about proving to yourself that you can do hard things. Her biggest takeaway? "If you can teach your brain that you can do hard things and you're not gonna give up, there's endless possibility in our life." Listeners will walk away with practical cost breakdowns, honest reviews, and the courage to try something new. In this episode:

(00:00) Introduction to the Middle Age Wellness Experiments
(01:43) Head Spa Experience: The $100 Instagram-Famous Treatment
(07:15) Cold Plunge Challenge: Conquering the $25 Mental Resilience Test
(15:21) Infrared Sauna Session: 30 Minutes of $25 Relaxation
(17:51) Red Light Therapy: The $10 Spaceship-Like Experience
(20:30) Cost Breakdown and Final Verdicts on All Four Treatments
(22:45) Tips for Finding Affordable Wellness Experiences
(24:15) Encouragement to Invest in Yourself and Try New Things

Resources:

YouTube Video Footage - Visual documentation of all four wellness experiences Groupon - Discounted wellness services and local business deals ThirtyFiveSixtyFour Website - Links to featured wellness facilities

About:

If you find our stories and conversations valuable, your contribution helps cover the behind-the-scenes costs of keeping this podcast running.

Leave a tip or donation here → https://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com/donate/ Watch & Subscribe ✅ on YouTube → https://youtube.com/channel/UCUMAMJFx9trP1ixYD8uEs4A?reload=9 Listen & Subscribe ✅ on Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/6jJtEh0WpglPGlZ9qnGHKL Listen & Subscribe ✅ on Apple Music → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thirtyfivesixtyfour/id1733505174

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Episode Transcript: The team here at 3564 decided to do what I am calling the Middle Ager experiments. We've taken all sorts of different things that we've seen in our newsfeed that we've chatted about with friends and strange health and wellness trends. That we just wanted to try, we wanted to report back.

Are they worth the money? How much did they even cost? What was it like, and would you do it again? So let's dive into some of these really cool things that we did. This is one of those episodes that might be best viewed on YouTube. We have a bunch of videos and pictures of all these experiences, so check out our social media or the link in the show notes if you wanna see a really brief version on YouTube of what all these really looked like.

I actually took all these pictures, or someone on my team was taking the pictures of me during these services. Okay. The first service that I want to talk about is the head spa. So a head spa experience is all about your neck, head, hair, and scalp.

Okay. I just got in the room and they asked me to put on this terrycloth rope. Here we go. Looks pretty amazing.

Okay, this is what it looks like. I haven't started yet, but I'm waiting for them to come in.

And you go through this really interesting series of relaxation pieces where they first massage and wash your face almost like a mini facial.

Then they start washing your hair. Then they start massaging your scalp. It's like one of those moments you don't wanna stop. You know what I'm talking about? The moment in the salon where they're washing your hair and it just feels like you could melt into that bowl behind you. This lasts for a good 15 to 20 minutes.

It's absolutely heavenly after that shampooing and massaging of the hair. They start brushing your hair. It's really, really soothing, especially if you have shoulder length hair or more to have your hair brushed by someone. It almost feels parental in a really kind and sweet loving way. But someone then starts brushing your hair and really starting to stimulate your scalp.

Once all of the shampoo is out and your hair is perfectly brushed, they place you under this water halo. Now, this is probably the picture you've seen all over. It's the one that you see on Instagram or people taking when they're getting the service done. It's like a little headband. If you want to call it that, that sits, you know, a couple of maybe a foot above your head.

And it has a continuous stream of water that flows down in the most calming and relaxing way. It is not high pressure, but it's not just a drip. It's this low. Calming continuous stimulation and sound of the water. That just is really quite unreal for a moment. You almost feel out of body if you are completely relaxed.

You could imagine yourself under a waterfall, really under rain. It is really a cool experience, especially if you're able to relax under someone else's hands. I do think that this is a really great opportunity for you to try something new if you haven't. After the water treatment, I got a little bit of a neck and a shoulder massage, and I sat up and simultaneously where all those other things were going on, I was laying in a full body massage.

A chair table and my entire legs, back sides were being massaged by this machine table. So lots of stimulation happening everywhere. Once that was completed, we exited the room with those tables and sinks, and we went on to have some. Really cool LED light treatment on our scalps. So these women went through and really parted our hair very carefully and did all this yellow light therapy all over our scalp, mostly to stimulate the hair follicles.

And also they mentioned it was moisturizing and. And just something that really helps. Your hair maintains a healthy state. That took some time to do. It's almost like this massaging brush, and it has this light on the end, and it's really interesting. I had never seen that before. I looked at the machine and the writing on it was, not in a language that I knew.

So I knew that this is a pretty unique machine. It was probably imported from somewhere after that. My hair was blow dried. I'm not gonna say it was a full blowout, but I did not walk outta the facility with dripping wet hair like I thought I would, and it was a 90 minute experience. It costs about a hundred dollars, and I gave the staff a $20 tip, and I definitely think that the experience is worth doing.

I'm gonna say. Do it with a friend. There's something really cool about having this experience with a friend because it's really unique and the particular facility that I went to had two tables and two sinks, and they were able to service two people at the same time. I probably wouldn't want to do that with someone else I didn't know.

But I was able to bring Megan, who's on staff here at 35/64. She loved it. In fact, I was talking during the entire thing and she was zening out over to the right of me. I know she really loved this experience and plans on doing it again. Okay, the next thing that I tried. Ooh, and I, I gotta tell you, I'm pretty brave.

I'm up for trying new things. You know, last year I went skydiving and I decided it was time to try the cold plunge.

I am about to do a cold plunge. I've never ever done this. Let's see if I can do this. Oh my gosh, I'm a little nervous.

There are so many different ways to do a cold plunge. A very traditional way is to gather a bunch of ice, fill up your bathtub, and remain inside for, you know, as long as your treatment plan calls for?

I'll tell you that, the facility that I went to had a controlled temperature, so there was a chiller attached to this big bathtub, and there was no ice in it. The water was extremely cold. So the woman at the facility told me, you should just try to stay in for three minutes. We don't recommend more than six minutes a week.

Most of our clients do two, three minute stints a week. And I thought, okay, all right, let me give this a shot. So I wore my bathing suit. I popped in and, oh shoot. I immediately, I'm gonna just fully admit this, I think I said, oh ****and I thought I was gonna give up just right off the bat. It is a full no.

Your body wants to totally reject it. Your brain is telling yourself, why are you doing this? This isn't good. Get out and everything within you. I wanted to simply get out of this tub, and the first minute was painful for me.

You just kind of start going numb, and it just starts, I don't know. I can't decide if I hate this or if I do it again,

I don't know about other people, but I had tingly sensations. I really felt a little bit of panic. What ended up happening, I was getting coached by Megan who came along with me on this one as well, and she's like, hang in there. It gets better. It gets better. How are you feeling? You're doing great. You're really doing great. And she was showing me the timer and the first time I asked, it had only been 10 seconds. But I was able to pass a minute and everything slowed down.

And by that I mean it was a moment of pure peace, quietness and laser focused, I should say,

Okay, so the first 20 seconds of that, honest to God, was hell. I didn't know if I could do it, and I actually wanted to give up. And then as I got into it. Everything slows down. All you can do is focus on your breathing. You don't think about anything else. It's one of those things, it's just like you're trying to survive and then you sort of ease into it.

I thought I'd give up. I ended up staying for three minutes. I definitely tried again.

on making it through the moment. There was not a single other thing that I was thinking about in that minute except getting through it, and for the next minute to three minutes, I was in a kind of trance-like state where I wasn't talking much.

I was highly focused and I just felt everything slow down. What ends up happening is all the blood rushes to your core organs and your body focuses on really maintaining its temperature. By drawing in all the blood to your core, and I wanna read a couple of facts about some of these cold plunges.

So they typically have to be between 40 and 60 degrees Fahrenheit, and the reported benefits of the cold plunge are reducing muscle soreness and inflammation. You know, you'll see those NFL players after their Sunday night football game jump in those big ice baths, and that's been around for a long time.

But I think some of the newer ways that they are finding benefits from these cold plunges is simply mental resilience. And I gotta tell you, that might have been the most benefit that I received from this exercise is telling myself that I can do hard things.

I won't give up and follow through with it. And in a way, if you can teach your brain. That you can do hard things and you're not gonna give up and you're gonna go for it. It's an interesting exercise in really having control of what your thoughts are and if we can control our thoughts better. You know, there's endless possibilities in our life, right?

So this exercise for me was really about believing in myself and believing that I could get through it, although I almost gave up. Multiple times through the first minute. Other re other benefits are improving circulation and even some potential benefits of supporting metabolism. Based on all the energy that your body needs to expend, it does take calories to do that.

So there are some proposed benefits there. I did have someone tell me that they had heard of people having heart attacks doing these, and I just retorted. I have heard of people having heart attacks on the treadmill. You know, people have heart attacks everywhere. I definitely, if you have heart problems, maybe consult with your doctor before you do something like this.

But all in all, this was a very good experience. I would love to be able to do this on the regular. I know my neighbor next door has a cold plunge in his backyard. A couple of other people I know have some in their garage with a chiller and even others belong to gyms that have this as something that you can book as part of their membership.

I'm not sure how I'm going to pursue it. The cost for me to do this was only $25. And, you know, there was a robe provided and a towel and everything was turnkey. I know that there's some really cool wellness clubs out there that make this really, really approachable and affordable. But the $25 cost was a no-brainer, and it's not really a service that someone does, so there's no tip required. Okay. The next thing that I tried was. an infrared sauna. So infrared saunas are really interesting. A traditional sauna is very hot when you walk in,

Whether it's dry or steam, the temperature inside is extremely hot. Now, what happens in these infrared saunas is that your body is heated. With infrared light, so that means that the average temperature inside of these.

It is not as high, and I'm gonna say uncomfortable as a traditional sauna experience, you still sweat. You still have some of the other benefits, like the relaxation, the stress reduction, the muscle and joint pain relief, but it's a different way of experiencing it without the extreme temperature.

I was able to stay in for 30 minutes and I gave myself 15. I did a timer

starting to sweat a lot. Now it's been about 12 minutes. 30 minutes is probably gonna be a lot, but I'm gonna see how long I can last.

and I thought, you know what? I can do this for 30. That was what she recommended at the facility, the max amount of time to spend there. I turned on a gratitude meditation and I was also inside with a girlfriend, so we were chatting for part of it.

We're done. We made it in 30 minutes. Grabbing my cold washcloth with eucalyptus oil. Oh, that feels good. I'm supposed to be a little more toxin free. I thought it was pretty peaceful. We did a meditation and I will definitely do that again. I even hear some people have these at home.

But what a cool experience. This was also $25, and another one of those pieces that you can see, they're popping up at health clubs, gyms, wellness centers, and some affluent people are actually installing these directly in their homes. Well, I'm not quite there yet. All joking aside, I do think that this is a pretty cool therapy to try.

I'm not sure if it's something that I need to do all of the time, but I definitely would do it if it was at one of the spa experiences that I had, if I could walk in , and use it. So was it scary? No. Was it interesting? Yes. It was a very different experience than a traditional sauna. So I say give it a shot. The last experiment that I did with my team recently was red light therapy. Now you've seen masks. On, you know, they're selling these mass on Amazon and they're in beauty magazines and they're, they're selling scalp red light things to stimulate hair growth.

And this was one of those really spaceship-like experiences. I walked into this room, it was completely dark and it almost looked like a tanning bed, except that there was no top portion, but the bottom portion was completely. Lined with red light. Then when you laid down on it, there was a small mask area hovering over your face and that was getting on your face and neck.

Oh my gosh. This is strange. You feel immersed in a red light. It's some red light therapy and if you close your eyes, all you see is bright, bright light.

So when you closed your eyes, you were really, all you saw was a bright red light. Megan, who was with me during this experiment said she felt like she was in an alien ship and it was an interesting experience. So what's interesting about it is all of the benefits that come from red light therapy. So red light therapy is also referred to as low level laser therapy.

Sometimes you hear it as LLT, and what it does is it uses low wavelength red and near infrared. Light to improve a variety of health conditions. Skin health was one of the top reported benefits, wound healing. That's interesting. I think as we age, our wounds heal slower, especially with some of the terrible medical conditions that.

Have slow wound healing. This could be a really interesting thing for those folks. And then pain relief and hair growth are also some of the reported benefits. This therapy lasted 15 minutes. It was $10, and it was interesting. It was unique. It was not scary, it was not painful. And I'm gonna tell you, it seemed more like.

don't know it, it seemed more trendy than maybe helpful. I'm just giving you my experience. I will tell you that the attendant said this requires regular use and by regular. She said five times a week. And I thought, okay, well I just invested 15 minutes, so I'm obviously not gonna see a bunch of benefits.

But before I clown on it too much, I will tell you I had not done a scrub or anything on my skin, and my skin felt really soft, really soft. Almost like I had just put on lotion, but there was no greasy feeling. It just felt soft and supple and. As we age, that's something that always is nice when it's not crepey and dry.

So I did see that it benefited my skin in that brief treatment. It was cheap, it was approachable. I think it was fun. Would I do it again? Oh, sure. Would I pay for it? Maybe not. I'm curious if any of you had luck with infrared therapy, if you use it on the regular, if it's working well for you. I'd love to hear from you.

Like I said, reporting on just one use of it isn't gonna really give you the full scope of what it does. We have so many more experiments lined up for you. We wanna bring you the real deal, how much it costs, if it's fun, if it's scary. I'll tell you how I handled it and how I felt about it, and I hope to bring some new experiences to your life.

I have to encourage you, if you made it through the end of this episode, to invest in yourself. Yes, invest in yourself, and it doesn't have to be. A massive, you know, $500 spa day. But you know what, it's pretty approachable to go to some of these ice plunge places or to try that at your gym.

I bet one of your friends might have one if you ask around. It's also really easy to look on things like Groupon and other sales sites that support local businesses. You can try a lot of things for a really great price if you poke around. I found quite a few of these on Groupon myself, so I'll drop a couple links in the show notes to the facilities that we went to.

They were fantastic and welcoming and allowed me to film during all of these. This is one of those episodes that will be great to take a peek on YouTube if you wanna get specific, you know, what does the machine look like? What did that feel like? You can get full blown. What it looked like, what happened, and how did Karen react during these services.

It's all on video. I'd love for you to take a peek at that. We'll drop a link in the show notes to some of those. Thanks so much for listening. Thanks for being a part of this community. We believe that with intentionality you can live a fantastic life. Middle age and our mission is to bring that to you with advice, experiences, and experts.

I hope you'll tune in next week. Have a good one.

When It Feels Like Everything Is Falling Apart, Ask Yourself These 3 Things

Karen Stones — Mon, 08 Sep 2025 18:06:58 +0000

Feeling emotionally reactive or facing a big decision? Karen introduces a game-changing three-step check-in process that could save you from making choices you’ll regret. Ever sent that text in anger, made an impulsive purchase, or reacted poorly to a situation only to wonder later what you were thinking? This episode reveals the simple but powerful “T.H.H.” framework that helps you pause before making important decisions or emotional reactions. Karen shares vulnerable stories from her own experience with young children and perimenopause, explaining how being tired, hungry, or hormonal can hijack our decision-making abilities. Her practical approach offers immediate relief for anyone who’s ever wondered why they sometimes feel so emotionally dysregulated.

Ready to transform your reactive patterns into thoughtful responses? Karen breaks down each element of the T.H.H. framework with relatable examples and actionable strategies. From keeping snacks in your glove compartment to recognizing hormonal patterns (yes, this applies to men too!), she provides practical tools for better self-awareness. The conversation gets real about perimenopause, intermittent fasting challenges, and those 3 AM parenting moments that can make everything feel extreme. Karen’s friends even use this system to redirect each other during emotional meltdowns. Listeners will walk away with a simple but effective method for identifying when they’re not operating at their best, plus permission to give themselves grace during those inevitable human moments.

In this episode:

(00:00) Introduction: The T.H.H. Framework for Better Decision-Making
(01:15) T – Are You Tired? The Sleep Deprivation Decision Trap
(03:45) Real Talk: Five Years of Sleep Deprivation with Young Kids
(06:20) H – Are You Hungry? The “Hangry” Factor in Decision-Making
(09:30) Practical Tips: Keeping Snacks Everywhere for Better Mood
(11:45) H – Are You Hormonal? Perimenopause Reality Check
(15:20) It’s Not Just Women: Men and Midlife Hormonal Changes
(17:40) The Friend Check System: How to Support Each Other
(20:15) When You Check Multiple Boxes: Emergency Self-Care Protocol
(22:30) Making Better Decisions When You’re Stable
(24:45) Tip Jar Information and Closing Thoughts

About:

If you find our stories and conversations valuable, your contribution helps cover the behind-the-scenes costs of keeping this podcast running. Leave a tip or donation here → https://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com/donate/

Episode Transcript:

So, I’ve noticed that there are three reasons that I should not be reactive or make decisions. I’m gonna go through those with you. They’re very basic and it almost works every time. So let’s dive in. T, are you tired? Now they say no one is getting enough sleep. I don’t know. I try to prioritize my sleep.

I really am one of those people who need like minimum eight hours. I do not do well, operating under a low amount of sleep. And if I am tired, I’m just not thinking straight. I’m not at my best. I can operate. But I’m not operating at the level that I should be if I’m going to make a really important decision.

So do not, whatever you do, do not make a decision that is impactful and important. or react in a way that’s going to change the outcome of your life in the immediate future. If you are tired, I guarantee you are very likely to make the wrong decision. We just don’t think straight when we’re tired. I remember when I was up all the time, it really felt like a period of five years, to be honest with young children.

They needed to be fed, they needed to be changed. Somebody was crying, somebody needed comfort. I have three kids, and at one point in my life, it just felt like all I was doing was responding to their needs all day long and in particular in those midnight hours. Whew, that’s a tough one. you know, between all of us, I remember having some really bizarre.

Thoughts, things that I would never consider, in my rested state, but being so exhausted, everything felt extreme. So if you’re tired, please do not make a decision. You should not make a decision. Wait until you’re rested, or at least when you’ve had time to have more rest. I’ve seen so many really like split choices made, and by split, I mean like in a split second.

Somebody makes a choice and they’re really tired and they immediately regret it. So please check to see if you’re tired. The next thing that I want you to check, are you hungry? Now? I know that sounds really silly. I am one of those people who get hangry. I bet you might be too, and you might not even know it.

But I actually need to eat pretty quickly in the morning. I know a lot of people are into intermittent fasting. They can go till noon, feel great. No, no, no, no. Not me. I’ve gotta get something, even if it’s just a banana or something basic. But I need to get my blood flowing and I need that, you know, I need that food and I know that when I’m hungry.

My mood starts going downhill and I’m talking about, you know, really, really hungry. You know, skipped a meal, and now I’m waiting for this super late reservation at eight when I would much rather eat at six 30, and I’m starting to just be irritated, easier. And be short with people. I just don’t think that like tiredness.

When I’m hungry, I’m not operating at my best. Now there’s a bunch of practical things that we can all do. I normally like to have snacks and stuff all over the place, and so normally in my glove compartment I might have a bag of goldfish or cashews in my purse, in my office. But really.

You’d be surprised at how often we are emotionally dysregulated because we are hungry.

So if you’re trying intermittent fasting, if you’re up all night with a baby, a grandchild, whatever it is, if you’re restless, , most likely you are not also eating well. So being hangry is one thing, but layering that on top of eating poorly. Wow, that’s a whole nother thing. We have other podcasts about that, but watch out if you are hungry.

Do not make a decision, please. It’s not the way to go. Wait until you have your belly full to think straight. Okay. I think the hardest one to identify sometimes is actually number three, which is, are you hormonal? Ooh. Okay. I am hardcore in perimenopause. Last year, I could not say the same thing. I actually thought perimenopause was a bunch of excuses for people being moody and gaining weight and, and all the things.

oh my gosh. Bless all of you ladies and men who are partnered with women who are going through this. It is not for the faint of heart. It is really challenging and on top of maybe perimenopause symptoms that you might be experiencing. Many of us still have a cycle, a regular menstrual cycle that also takes us through ups and downs.

I know my patterns so well. I know I get weepy. I don’t know, four days, three days before I start menstruating, I know that I feel really confident mid cycle. I definitely know my patterns and my emotional states that match with my hormones the older I’ve gotten, the more, I’ve been more connected with all of those things, but.

My goodness. Hormones are a big thing, and I’m not just talking to all the women out there. The men in our lives and middle age are also experiencing. Massive hormonal shifts and I am not an expert. I am not a doctor, but you can definitely know and see when, someone in your life is struggling with low testosterone or other pieces.

Now it’s funny because we may peg that as stress. Or something else, but there’s so many different pieces that men face as well, hormonally. So that’s something to always consider. This isn’t just about women, so this is a classic conversation that will happen with me and my friends on the phone. . I’m melting down about something and this isn’t, you know, common.

I’m always crying or anything, but I’m upset. I call a friend to soothe me and calm me and they know to ask these questions. Are you tired? Are you hungry? Are you hormonal? If I make it through those three questions, and the issue is still there. Then we’ve got a real issue going on. But normally I’m like, oh my gosh, yeah, you know what?

I’m really hungry and I didn’t sleep well last night, and they are so good at redirecting me. Don’t make a decision. Don’t ruminate on this right now. You’re not in a state to handle this at your best. It’s so easy. I wish that I had a button that I could press that said, Karen, are you tired? Are you hungry?

Are you hormonal? If you check one of these boxes, then you probably should not focus or ruminate on this idea right now. Good luck. You know, some sort of automated response that would be really funny. But what I want you to do is really examine these three things. Am I tired? Am I hungry? Am I hormonal?

Ask your friends. Those three things when they come to you and they’re in crisis. It’s so much better to make important decisions, react in other important navigations in life when we are rested, when we are well fed and have nutrition inside of our bodies. And also when we know that we’re in a stable, hormonal state.

I’m gonna say if you check two of those boxes. Oh no. Redirect yourself. Wait. you can get through it in a few days and figure it out if you check all three. Bless. Okay. Just sit back down. Get a tub of ice cream. I don’t know what it is. No, that’s terrible advice. But, but, you know, really identify and give yourself a break.

don’t make the choice, don’t do the reaction. Know that you’re not. making the choice that the stable you would make. This is a really easy way to go through life, identifying how to put off certain things and know when you’re, you’re just in some sort of thought pattern that doesn’t make sense.

You’ve gotta ask yourself, are you tired? Are you hungry? Are you hormonal? I guarantee asking those three questions and putting off that important decision or comment until those are stabilized is gonna make a difference in your life. I hope that TIP works well for you. If you are enjoying this podcast, we have a tip jar.

Go ahead and head over to the show notes. We are a small but mighty team, and all of your donations make a difference to keep our podcast going, so if you feel compelled to donate, we’d love to hear from you and we’d just love to hear from you anyway. It makes our day when you can send comments and notes to us if we’re helping you out and helping you live your best midlife.

Thanks everyone.

And that brings us to the end of another episode. I hope you enjoyed the content, and I’d love it if you would share this with a friend or family that you think would enjoy it. This is such a great time, middle age, and I wanna spread that message. The best way to do that is to share it, and if you haven’t already followed us or subscribed, make sure to do that so you don’t miss any of our new content.

I’m going to leave you like I do every episode. Remember, it’s never too late. You are not too old, and you’re definitely not dead.

How to break the cycle of negativity in 4 simple steps

Karen Stones — Sat, 30 Aug 2025 21:54:44 +0000

Ever find yourself caught in a spiral of complaint conversations that leave you feeling drained and pessimistic? Host Karen returns to ThirtyFiveSixtyFour after a year-long hiatus following an electrical fire, bringing hard-won wisdom about breaking free from what she calls “the negativity vortex.” Despite naturally leaning 80% positive, Karen discovered how easily she and her best friend had slipped into daily phone calls dominated by complaints about rising costs, work stress, and life’s general difficulties. What started as relating and supporting each other had morphed into a destructive pattern that fed on itself, gaining momentum like a psychological tornado.

Ready to escape your own negativity spiral? Karen shares her four-step recovery plan that transformed weeks of doom-scrolling conversations into uplifting daily exchanges. The solution isn’t about forced gratitude or toxic positivity—it’s about intentionally training your brain to notice what’s actually going well in real-time. Through a simple seven-day texting experiment with her friend, Karen demonstrates how our confirmation bias works both ways: if we look for problems, we’ll find them everywhere, but if we actively seek out small wins and smooth moments, those multiply too. Listeners will discover practical strategies for identifying when they’re stuck in the vortex, recruiting accountability partners, and rewiring their mental focus toward what’s working rather than what’s broken.

In this episode:

(00:00) Karen’s Return: Back Home After Electrical Fire Recovery
(02:30) Recognizing the Negativity Vortex Pattern
(05:45) How Complaint Conversations Spiral Out of Control
(08:20) The Psychology Behind “You Find What You’re Looking For”
(11:15) Why Our Brains Amplify What We Focus On
(14:00) The Four-Step Program to Break Free
(16:30) The Seven-Day Texting Experiment Rules
(19:45) Real Examples: What “Going Well” Actually Looks Like
(23:10) Why This Isn’t Just Another Gratitude Practice
(26:00) How Confirmation Bias Works For and Against Us
(29:20) Accountability Partners: Choosing the Right Person
(32:15) Results: How Conversations Transform in One Week
(35:00) New Tip Button Launch for Podcast Support
(37:30) Season Relaunch and What’s Coming Next

Resources:

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour Website New Tip/Donation Button

About:

Episode Transcript:

Welcome to thirtyfivesixtyfour, a podcast for the middle. I am so happy to be with you today. It’s been a long break. I am finally moved. If you can see behind me and you’re watching on YouTube, I am back in my house after over a year when I had an electrical fire. It’s been quite a journey getting everything back in place and working with insurance.

I am so grateful to be home and you can see behind me I’m in a bit of a new studio environment. This is my first recording back at it in the new studio. So, so, so good to be with you today we are diving into what I’m gonna call the negativity vortex. So. I have to tell you, I lean very positive. In fact, I’m probably, hmm 80% positive if I were to break it down in percentages.

I know all of us land on a different scale. Many of us are neutral and some of us even land on that negative side. I do think that a lot of this can be trained and we can focus in new areas, but. Being that I am very positive, I noticed that in the last few weeks I got sucked into. What I am calling a negativity vortex.

So what is that? It’s basically negative thoughts that feed off each other and many times feed off a friend or friend groups and it just picks up speed and starts moving and it really kind of does some destruction. I noticed this when I was chatting with one of my best friends. We talk on the phone every day and.

We started swapping all sorts of stories on a regular basis about what was difficult in the day. Oh my gosh, I’m so distracted at work. Or, oh my gosh, why is it so expensive to eat out right now? I used to be able to go to happy hour and get out of there with a burger and a glass of wine for 20 bucks, and now it’s 80.

What happened? You know what’s going on with the interest rates, all sorts of conversation about what’s happening in everyday life. But we just started complaining and seeing everything with this like negative slant. Oh, things are so bad and it’s so difficult. And the interesting thing is, is it really becomes this sort of vortex.

Where you feed off of each other. It’s not that you’re trying to one up somebody, it’s that you’re trying to relate to them and understand them and share your bad story. You’re not the only one having a bad day. And I noticed this went on for a good couple of weeks. We got into this pattern where most of our conversation was slanted negative.

We were finding. Sharing what was not working in our lives. And I noticed this after one particular phone call where we both had a particularly bad day and I noticed, oh my gosh, we’ve gotta do something about this. This is not working for me. This is not working for you. We’ve gotta pull ourselves out of this negativity vortex.

So I have to share the famous quote. You find what you are looking for. And one of my favorite examples of that is when you’re driving around and you’re noticing specific car types, have you ever thought, oh, I’m gonna go buy a, new Bronco. So all of a sudden your brain sees Broncos all over the place. I noticed.

I was nervous about my kids riding e-bikes everywhere, and now I notice kids on e-bikes everywhere speeding and being out of control. I really never noticed them before, and now I see it all the time. Our brain is flooded with stimulation all day long, and it has to weed out the things that we’re not focused on, the things that we’re not.

Identifying as important. So the more we think about something, the more our brain believes that that is important to see and call out, and then we’ll begin to focus on. So some of this vortex stuff we actually do to ourselves. And it’s just how our brain works. So here is how I pulled myself and my girlfriend together.

, We did this as a team out of the negativity vortex one, I just identified that we were in it. What in the world are we doing? Two. I said, we’ve gotta do something about this. So will you be my person that I can text? Every day for the next seven days with five things that are going well.

Now, this is different than a gratitude list. This isn’t, you know, I’m grateful that I have a glass of cold water. I’m grateful for, my children. No, no, no. This is actual things that are going well. They can be small or big. And it helped us start to look for things to be grateful for. Like I said, it’s not necessarily the things so much as it is the happenings, the moments, So let me tell you about how we did this. But first off, I’m gonna share this in the show notes here. I have to share a screenshot of what my friend said. I said, let’s do this for one week, and, find five things every day and just text ’em at any time in a chunk piecemeal, whatever it is. And she wrote back.

That seems like a lot, meaning finding five things that were going well. Was a lot. I sort of laughed. I knew it wasn’t, and so I dug in. So the next day we started this text exchange and sometimes all of those text messages would come in early in the morning. Sometimes they would come in throughout the day.

And it was so interesting because I started loving to see her messages. They made me feel positive things were going well for her. Really small things like, Hey, I had the chance to swing by Starbucks for my favorite iced tea and. There was no line today at FedEx when I went to ship a bunch of important documents, small things that I know make a big difference in her life, but truly, you know, if they go well, it kind of makes the day a little bit easier.

And so every time I was getting these messages from her. They were very small things, but it made me feel good too. And they were happening to her. They weren’t even happening to me. And I think it did the same for her. I would text things, , really, really funny things. In fact, I’ll list a bunch of them in the show notes so you can see exactly the kind of messages that we were swapping.

But they were basic things that happened, that went well, that went good and. After we started doing this, it was really interesting because although it was a stretch to feel like five, it started getting easier and easier, and then I noticed some of the tone of our conversations even changed to focus on all of the good.

So I’ve got this four step program for you. It is identify that you’re in the vortex. Ask a friend to do this experiment with you and specifically ask a friend that you know will keep you accountable. We’ll stick to it and probably someone that knows you pretty well, so you don’t have to give them a lot of context.

The next step number three is text every day for one week. Five things that are going well for you. This is not a gratitude list. This is what is happening in the moment. It’s a difference, and you’ll know what I mean. When you start exchanging these things. Then at the end of the seven days, notice if your disposition, particularly the conversations that you have with this person, if it’s changed you, has it helped you find the good, instead of focus on the bad, There’s something called confirmation bias, and I’m sure you all have heard that, played out in different areas sometimes health, politics, relationships. But I do wanna remind you that your brain is going to look to confirm what you believe. Back to that quote at the beginning. You find what you’re looking for.

You will find what you’re looking for, and if that’s negative, you’re going to find it. If that’s positive, you are going to find it. I truly believe that we all have the ability. To look at our lives in a more positive way that just makes things more satisfying, more joyful, easier. , We all wanna live with ease and peace, and I think you and I can do that better if we notice when we get into this negativity vortex.

With friends or in our mind and work our way out. I hope my four step plan is helpful for you. There’s a couple of other things I wanted to mention. We have been asked so many times, how can we support the podcast? We have a new tip. Button in our show notes. If you have found this episode is helpful, we would love to know that by a comment and even a small tip.

They’re greatly appreciated. They help us run all of the behind scenes costs of the podcast. So if you’re looking for a great way to support us, I’d encourage you to look for that in the show notes. Thanks again. I can’t wait to be in touch with you as this next season launches.

I’m going to leave you like I do every episode. Remember, it’s never too late. You are not too old, and you’re definitely not dead.

Influencer SaRatta explores middle age style, second acts and life's resilience

Karen Stones — Fri, 11 Jul 2025 22:02:53 +0000

Ever secretly eye that bold piece in the store window while playing it safe? Saratta Murphy brings fearless wisdom about redefining life and fashion after 40—without losing yourself in the process.

From running two Texas businesses to relocating across the country just weeks after burying her father, Saratta now inspires thousands of Gen X women as a content creator and influencer. She and Karen explore conquering educational goals later in life and navigating grief while pursuing dreams. Saratta's challenge: "I am fearing less of what other people think and appreciating who I am, showing up just as that."

Transform your "I don't know how to dress" anxiety into "I'm going to try that pink scarf" excitement. Saratta shares how clients moved from "boring wardrobe" moments to authentic style expression. That blazer you've been eyeing? These aren't fashion mistakes—they're style evolution opportunities. The conversation covers supporting friends through loss and the gift of moving in silence until you're ready to share big dreams. Listeners get actionable style tips, grief support wisdom, and mastering what Saratta calls "shopping your own closet."

Saratta Murphy, 48, is a Gen X content creator, influencer, and authentic life enthusiast. She earned her MBA and marketing degree in nine months while processing grief and major life changes. After building two successful businesses, burying her father, and relocating cross-country within two weeks, she now empowers women to show up authentically. Her philosophy: "fearing less of what other people think" while focusing on practical wisdom over perfection.

Episode Breakdown:

(00:00) Introducing Saratta Murphy: From business owner to content creator (01:20) Age and attitude: Embracing 48 and looking forward to 50 (03:45) Educational transformation: Two degrees in nine months (08:30) Moving in silence: Protecting your dreams from doubt (11:45) Navigating loss: Losing a parent and honoring their legacy (14:45) How to show up for friends in grief (16:00) Finding purpose that evolves with you (21:00) Business lessons: What problem are you solving? (28:45) Summer 2025 fashion essentials and comfort zone expansion (36:00) Shopping your closet and the power of blazers (42:00) Scarf styling for beginners (featuring the pink scarf challenge!) (47:00) What to put away for summer 2025 (56:00) Favorite shopping destinations from H&M to Goodwill (59:00) Styling the men in your life with love

Resources:

SaRatta's Instagram: https://instagram.com/the_unimaginedlife SaRatta's Amazon Store: https://amazon.com/shop/theunimaginedlife?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_FJ82XC5Z9EEER8HFV661&language=en_US SaRatta's TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theunimaginedlife?_t=ZP-8whnWEFTwtS&_r=1

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55 & Feeling 25: A Middle Age Story of Health and Wellness After Crisis

Karen Stones — Thu, 08 May 2025 13:05:01 +0000

Is your midlife crisis actually your soul demanding a rebirth?

Midlife crisis or midlife opportunity? Tina LeAnn Erdmann brings refreshing wisdom to ThirtyFiveSixtyFour about embracing life's second act. Ever felt stuck in patterns that once worked but now feel suffocating? Tina's been there. After two decades in corporate America, she ditched the corner office to become a mindset coach helping others navigate their own transitions. Karen and Tina laugh about the classic signs—impulse purchases, existential dread, and that nagging question: "Is this all there is?" But Tina challenges listeners to reframe: "Your midlife crisis is actually your soul demanding rebirth." Her three-step approach offers practical ways to transform breakdown into breakthrough.

Ready to convert your midlife panic into purposeful passion? Tina shares vulnerable stories of clients who transformed their "oh no" moments into "aha" revelations. Remember that vintage motorcycle gathering dust in your garage? Or the half-finished novel in your drawer? Tina explains why these aren't failures but breadcrumbs leading to your authentic path. The conversation takes a powerful turn when discussing midlife's ultimate gift: the courage to disappoint others to reclaim yourself. "People-pleasing is a young person's game," Tina quips. Listeners will walk away with actionable strategies for identifying their "rebirth signals" and embracing what Tina calls "the most creatively fertile period of your entire life." Tina LeAnn Erdmann is a Human Design Guide, NLP Practitioner, Podcast Host, Author, and Educator who embodies transformation both personally and professionally. As a 3/5 emotional Manifestor, she lives her design through bold experimentation and sharing her discoveries to benefit others. Her adventurous spirit has taken her across the globe, from trekking to Mount Everest base camp to summiting Mount Kilimanjaro. Most recently, Tina spent a year as a nomad, driving her beloved 1971 Plymouth Cuda across the country—a journey that became both literal and metaphorical as she reconnected with her life force energy and authentic self. Through her work, she unlocks focused codes within human design that release energetic blockages. Tina's philosophy centers on the belief that "the human body is the key to the Kingdom," finding that the integration of human technology, heart coherence, and self-love creates the deepest connection to Divine Source. In this episode:

(00:00) Introducing Tina Erdmann: From Corporate America to Midlife Coach

(03:45) Signs You're Not Having a Crisis—You're Having a Rebirth

(07:12) Why Impulse Purchases Are Actually Soul Breadcrumbs

(12:30) The Three-Step Framework for Midlife Transformation

(18:05) Breaking Free from People-Pleasing After 40

(23:50) Stories of Transformation: Real Client Breakthroughs

(29:15) The 5-Minute Daily Practice for Clarity

(35:40) Navigating Relationships During Your Rebirth

(42:10) Resources and Next Steps for Listeners

(45:30) Tina's Personal Midlife Awakening Story

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: https://thesovereignsoul.co https://www.facebook.com/iamtinaleann https://www.instagram.com/iamtinaleann https://www.linkedin.com/in/tinaleannerdmann Your guests are invited to run a FREE Human Design Chart: https://thesovereignsoul.co/free-human-design-chart/ Free eBook, Unveiling the Bodygraph: https://thesovereignsoul.co/newsletter/ Neuro Linguistic Programming https://www.nlp.com/what-is-nlp/ http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com Thank you to our sponsor: Dana Creath Lighting - Artisanal craftsmanship meets innovative design Website: danacreath.com Showroom: 1822 Newport Boulevard, Costa Mesa, California

This Is 50: What’s Hard, What’s Great, What Matters

Karen Stones — Thu, 01 May 2025 08:06:00 +0000

What if being in your fifties is actually the best age to be?

Franck Pedretti gets real about embracing the middle years in this entertaining episode of ThirtyFiveSixtyFour. A former professional snowboarder turned French TV host and filmmaker, Franck brings his European perspective to aging with humor and wisdom. Ever find yourself feeling caught between your youthful brain and your middle-aged body? Franck has. He shares how his mind still says "backflip" while his back screams "chiropractor appointment first!" But there's something beautifully liberating about this stage too. "When you're 51, you're young in the club of five-zero," he says with characteristic charm. The secret to thriving? Accept your limitations, maintain your health, and embrace the wisdom you've earned.

Have you been living to work instead of working to live? Franck challenges listeners to reconsider priorities before it's too late. From navigating fatherhood with an 11-year-old who wants dad to "drop into the halfpipe" to contemplating post-empty-nest adventures in an RV, Franck shares how midlife brings perspective that twenty-somethings can't comprehend. He discusses the wave of divorces he's witnessed among friends hitting their fifties and the importance of healing past wounds. But ultimately, Franck's message is optimistic: "My best age is obviously now." With his contagious energy and thoughtful insights, this episode reminds us all that with age comes not just limitations, but a profound understanding of what truly matters in life. Franck Pedretti is a dynamic creative force who began his career as a professional snowboarder before transitioning to French television, where he hosted sports programs for six years including Olympic coverage. Now based in San Diego, this 53-year-old French native directs films and produces documentary work through his creative lens. When not creating visual stories, Franck embraces active fatherhood with his 11-year-old son, sharing his love for outdoor adventure while balancing the physical realities of middle age. His European perspective brings a refreshing take on aging gracefully, making him both an entertaining storyteller and thoughtful philosopher on midlife's unique challenges and opportunities. In this episode:

(00:00) Introducing French Creative and Former Snowboarder Franck Pedretti

(04:15) From Professional Snowboarding to French TV Hosting

(08:30) Being 53: When Your Body Unsubscribes from Your Brain's Newsletter

(13:52) Sleep is Key: The Middle-Age Health Reality Check

(18:47) Navigating Friendship Through Divorce Waves in Your 50s

(23:15) The Hardest Part of Aging for Active Men

(29:20) Why Now is His Favorite Age: "I'm Young in the Club of 5-0"

(35:43) Looking Forward to the 60s: RV Dreams and Work-Life Balance

(39:20) Work to Live, Not Live to Work: Midlife Priorities

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: https://www.dsideprod.com/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eIELr3jWw8 http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com Thank you to our sponsor: Dana Creth Lighting - Artisanal craftsmanship meets innovative design Website: danacreath.com Showroom: 1822 Newport Boulevard, Costa Mesa, California

6 Everyday Guilt Triggers—and How to Let Them Go

Karen Stones — Thu, 24 Apr 2025 17:39:36 +0000

How much of your mental energy is wasted on unnecessary guilt every single day? Karen Stones confronts six everyday guilt-triggers - from declining invitations without elaborate excuses to ignoring text messages without apology, Karen challenges midlife's unnecessary guilt trips. "Age should bring wisdom," she reminds listeners while sharing her own struggles with saying no. Her practical advice? Simply say, "Thank you for thinking of me, I'm not able to make it" – no excuses needed. Karen's candid confession about skipping a five-year-old's birthday party gives listeners permission to prioritize their precious time without the guilt baggage.

Ever feel guilty about forgotten birthdays, not tipping at counter service, or - gasp - actually relaxing? You're not alone. Karen dives into these midlife guilt traps with humor and practical solutions. "I hope it was a great birthday," she suggests as the perfect response when you've forgotten someone's special day. Karen even admits her own struggle with Netflix guilt, sharing the story of a woman who jumps off the couch when her husband comes home. The episode concludes with permission to say no to volunteering when your schedule is already packed. The message? It's time to drop the guilt and reclaim your midlife sanity. In this episode:

(00:00) Are Guilt Triggers Ruining Your Midlife Happiness?

(00:37) Declining Invitations: The No-Excuse Method That Actually Works

(03:03) The Text Message Guilt Spiral (And How to Break It)

(05:18) Forgotten Birthdays: The Perfect Response When You've Messed Up

(07:38) The Tipping Dilemma: When Obligation Replaces Appreciation

(09:57) Netflix Guilt: Why Relaxation Feels So Uncomfortable in Midlife

(12:04) The Volunteering Pressure: Setting Boundaries with School, Sports & Community

(15:21) What Do You Feel Guilty About? Drop me a message!

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Viral Middle Age Comedy Duo Hilariously Take on Aging

Karen Stones — Thu, 17 Apr 2025 14:42:03 +0000

Ever wondered if your embarrassing midlife moments are actually universal? Lisa and Suzette from "Midlifers" join Karen Stones to laugh about the realities of aging gracefully (or not). Self-described as the "tweens of adulthood," this hilarious duo shares "the good, the saggy, the hard, the funny, and everything else about life in the middle." From brain fog moments like calling an ankle a "foot wrist," to discovering the iPhone magnifier, they bring authentic humor to middle age struggles. These Instagram sensations started their platform when they noticed plenty of content on fashion and fitness, but not enough truth and fun.

For instance, are you embracing the "great hair migration" yet? Karen, Lisa, and Suzette tackle everything from colonoscopies to Botox, skinny jeans, and the infamous "freeze, squeeze and sneeze" of middle age. Lisa and Suzette's philosophy? "Shame loves the dark." They advocate unapologetically for living your best midlife with confidence—whether that means going gray, getting Botox, or taking up drums at 53. After all, isn't this the best part about being middle-aged? We finally care less about what others think and more about what brings us joy. As Lisa says, "The sexiest part of all this is confidence." In this episode:

(00:00) The Gap in Midlife Content: Why Midlifers Was Created

(06:00) Colonoscopy Chronicles: Middle Age Milestones

(08:33) The Botox Debate: Finding Confidence in Midlife

(14:48) Extinct Names: How Lisa, Suzette, and Karen Date Themselves

(21:05) The Body Rebellion: Drooping Knees and Beyond

(27:59) Finding Purpose and Joy in Midlife: Self-Discovery After 40

(32:41) Midlife Confessions: Babies and Drums, Saying “Yes” to More Things

(35:44) The "Foot Wrist" Incident and Other Brain Fog Moments

(40:30) Midlife Red Flags: Checks, Paper, and Transition Lenses

(50:00) Midpoints: The Freeze, Squeeze, and Sneeze of Middle Age

(53:50) Closing Thoughts: Laughter is Key

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is a podcast for listeners between the ages of 35 and 64. Available on all major podcast platforms, the show offers an engaging journey through the various challenges and experiences of midlife. ThirtyFiveSixtyFour presents a distinct departure from the traditional midlife crisis storyline. Instead, it champions the perspective that midlife should be viewed as a period marked by play, discovery, transformation and possibility. With new episodes released weekly, ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is positioned to become one of the fastest-growing podcasts of the year, providing both valuable insights and entertainment for those in the middle. So, subscribe and get ready to join show host Karen and the ThirtyFiveSixtyFour regulars for both serious and fun conversations around living middle age to the fullest. After all, it’s not too late. You’re not too old. And you’re definitely NOT dead. Resources: Midlifers Instagram Midlifers Facebook Middle Age Playlist on Spotify Netflix Documentary: Don’t Die - the man who wants to live forever Brené Brown Book: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Brené Brown Book: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com Thank you to our sponsor: Dana Creath Lighting

Reveal It to Heal It: The Power of Vulnerability in Middle Age

Karen Stones — Thu, 10 Apr 2025 13:00:00 +0000

What if your most embarrassing midlife struggle is exactly what someone else needs to hear about?

Karen Stones gets real about vulnerability in this honest episode of ThirtyFiveSixtyFour. Ever tried being truly vulnerable with someone, only to realize you were just reciting a script? Karen has. For 2025, she's challenging herself—and her middle-aged listeners—to move beyond surface-level connections. She shares raw stories: opening up about her perimenopause struggles to an old friend (who immediately responded "me too") and admitting her parenting failures to her hairstylist. But who deserves to see your true self? Not everyone. "Choose wisely," she warns.

Have you been avoiding difficult conversations with people who matter? Karen believes we need fewer Instagram acquaintances and more genuine connections. She asks listeners to identify the safe people in their lives and take a risk. Share something hard. Feel that racing heart. The payoff? Deep connection. And your vulnerability might just help someone else navigate their own midlife challenges. After all, isn't that what we're all looking for at this stage—to be seen, flaws and all, and still be loved? In this episode:

(00:00) Choose Your Confidants Wisely

(02:00) What Vulnerability Really Means

(03:30) The Art of Safe Vulnerability: Who Gets to See the Real You?

(04:33) Reconnecting with a Long-Distance Bestie

(06:03) Perimenopause: When Vulnerability Creates Connection

(07:40) The Hair Salon Confession

(09:50) Food Struggles & Parenting

(12:10) Your Vulnerability Challenge: Don't Waste Your Hard-Earned Wisdom

(14:04) Closing Thoughts

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Vulnerability: The Key to Better Relationships http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com Thank you to our sponsor: Dana Creath Lighting

Midlife Therapy: Why It’s Worth It

Karen Stones — Thu, 03 Apr 2025 14:10:39 +0000

Did you know that the best time to start therapy might be when you're NOT in crisis?

Welcome to Season 2 of the ThirtyFiveSixtyFour podcast! Host Karen Stones experienced a house fire last summer and is now in the reconstruction phase. She welcomes listeners back after a two-month break. In a deeply personal episode, host Karen Stones shares her personal journey with therapy, offering valuable perspectives for middle-aged listeners. Drawing from her own experiences, she debunks common therapy myths and shares how seeking professional help when not in crisis can lead to profound personal growth.

Karen discusses how childhood experiences shape adult behaviors, the investment value of therapy despite its cost, and finding the right therapist match. Therapy isn't a sign of weakness but of strength and wisdom. Find out how one person's therapy journey can positively transform relationships through "therapy by osmosis." Throughout, Karen weaves personal anecdotes with practical advice for listeners considering therapy as a pathway to living their best middle-aged life. In this episode:

(00:00) Welcome Back! Karen's Season 2 Return & House Fire Updates

(03:52) Therapy Myths Debunked, That Bad Therapy Experience Needs a Do-over

(05:40) Only Losers Go to Therapy? Biggest Misconceptions

(08:16) The Perfect Time for Therapy (Hint: It's Not When You Think)

(11:38) Was Your "Perfect" Childhood Actually Perfect?

(17:53) Parenting Revelation: We All Impact Our Kids

(18:35) Confession Time: The Middle-Aged Art of Lying to Your Therapist

(22:48) $220 Per Session: Worth More Than Those Designer Shoes?

(24:44) Finding Your Therapy Soulmate After 40

(28:30) When You Do the Work But Your Partner Doesn't: The Ripple Effect

(31:40) Closing Thoughts

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Resources: Attachment Styles & Their Role in Relationships http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com Thank you to our sponsor: Dana Creath Lighting

Trying to Conceive: My Experience with Clomid, IUI, IVF and Donor Eggs

Karen Stones — Thu, 23 Jan 2025 13:33:54 +0000

What challenges did Victoria Nino face when considering egg donation, and how did she navigate the complex emotions of genetic grief and redefining family?

Join me for a heartbreaking but inspiring conversation with Victoria Nino, author and advocate, as she shares her experiences with infertility. Victoria candidly discusses her endometriosis diagnosis and the emotional and physical toll of fertility treatments in her pursuit of motherhood. Her story offers hope and solidarity to the one in six individuals worldwide facing similar fertility struggles.

Victoria also opens up about her decision to pursue egg donation after unsuccessful IUI cycles, navigating ‘genetic grief’ and societal expectations along the way. As an advocate for diverse family structures, she challenges traditional views on building a family. This episode sheds light on the emotional, financial, and societal aspects of fertility challenges, while highlighting the importance of community support and inclusivity. In this episode:

(00:00) Getting vulnerable about infertility, guest intro Victoria Nino

(02:57) Victoria’s challenging journey

(13:19) Statistics around infertility

(16:34) Karen’s story

(25:13) Victoria’s most challenging situations along the way

(29:44) The unbelievable costs

(30:26) How Victoria’s husband dealt with the process

(32:48) Resources and support

(39:00) Closing thoughts, advice and reaching out for support

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Instagram: @expectinganything @infertilityunfiltered Our Hearts Match by Victoria Nino Infertility Unfiltered: Victoria Nino on Egg Donation, Support and Finding your Why Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

How to Change in 2025: Take Your Bold Step Forward

Karen Stones — Wed, 08 Jan 2025 16:52:03 +0000

Could seeking feedback from your loved ones about what they hope you’ll change in the coming year lead to surprising insights and personal growth?

Picture this: I'm sitting across from my therapist, and in an unexpected twist, I ask her to craft a New Year's resolution just for me. Her answer? Learn to relax and chill more. This suggestion threw me for a loop, challenging my deeply ingrained beliefs about productivity and the innate fear of laziness. Next, I explore the intriguing idea of asking children or partners for New Year's resolutions, a concept that emerged from a discussion with friends. I dare my listeners to ask these challenging questions. What if you could foster deeper connections and self-improvement? While receiving feedback can be difficult, it can also be a valuable opportunity to enhance relationships and personal well-being in the new year. In this episode:

(00:00) Did you make one of these top 5 resolutions at the beginning of 2024?
(03:24) A therapist’s resolution for Karen
(07:26) What would your partner suggest for you as a resolution? The top requests of men and women for their partners
(12:50) Asking your kids what their resolutions might be for you, closing thoughts
Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

4 Traits That Make Hackers Successful—and How to Apply Them to Your Life, with Best-Selling Author and Ethical Hacker Ted Harrington

Karen Stones — Tue, 17 Dec 2024 20:53:03 +0000

What can we learn from hackers about patience, persistence, and creativity? Find out how these traits are not just for digital security but can also lead to personal success.

Break the mold and defy expectations with Ted Harrington, a trailblazer in ethical hacking who redefines what it means to challenge conventions. Forget the lone hacker myth—Ted reveals how collaboration, persistence, and strategy are the real keys to turning the tables on cyber threats. There are shocking security flaws in everyday tools - from password managers to dating apps. Discover how hackers use the same tactics as cybercriminals—but for good. In adopting a ‘hacker mindset’ Ted encourages us to embrace curiosity, tackle new challenges, and break free from outdated rules. It's time to question the status quo, push boundaries, and unlock your full potential. In this episode:

(00:00) Debunking Hollywood hacker myths with Ted Harrington, misconceptions and realities of ethical hacking, stereotypes and the critical role of ‘good’ hacking in safeguarding digital environments

(09:00) Discovering security flaws in apps, password managers and dating apps

(19:00) Unveiling the hacker mindset

(27:00) Personality types and social collaboration in the hacker community, upcoming book "Inner Hacker", collaboration and patience as keys to hacking success

(33:11) Embracing a beginner's mindset for lifelong growth, seeking new experiences can maintain growth and adaptability, regardless of age

(40:27) Things you can start doing today, challenging assumptions and breaking rules, fostering innovation and personal growth, questioning societal norms

(44:15) How to connect with Ted, closing thoughts, encouraging creativity and resilience in personal pursuits

Life is full of opportunities regardless of age, embrace your potential and inspire each other.

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Ted Harrington Website https://www.tedharrington.com/

Ted's Book Hackable https://www.amazon.com/Hackable-How-Application-Security-Right/dp/154451767X/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Ted Talk - Why you need to think like a hacker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMwHFBebLYY http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Unfiltered and Real: What Middle Age Really Feels Like

Karen Stones — Mon, 09 Dec 2024 17:03:44 +0000

Middle age: it's not as scary as it sounds, and it’s definitely not what we thought it would be. In this episode, a group of middle-aged podcast launch party friends share their take on everything from confidence, wisdom and peace, to sagging boobs—and whether they'd ever go back to their 20s (spoiler: most would not!). While some admit they miss the flexibility of their youth, others are totally thriving, finding happiness, stability, and the surprising joy of not giving a damn what anyone thinks anymore. Tune in for some laughs, some wisdom, and some brutally honest reflections on how much life changes, but also how much it stays the same. And for anyone wondering, yes—middle age is officially the new black! In this episode:

(00:27) Guests reveal their current age and how old they “feel”

(05:29) If you could speak to your 20-year-old self

(11:37) Would you go back to being 20?

(16:48) What is the most surprising thing about middle age?

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

1 Tip Homeowners Need About Fire, Water, or Weather Disasters

Karen Stones — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 17:00:00 +0000

Join me as I recount a recent harrowing experience at my own home, where a sudden electrical surge in the motor of a jetted tub ignited a fire in my master bathroom.

You’ll hear the details of the aftermath of this fire and the practical steps I took in its wake, which included hiring a public insurance adjuster, who was a godsend. Since my home was temporarily uninhabitable, she helped my family relocate and is working through the claims process with me. This experience is an important reminder to all homeowners about the unpredictability of accidents and the importance of being prepared. Tune in to hear more about how this incident unfolded, the lessons learned, and the steps we took to navigate the crisis. In this episode: (00:00) A scary bathroom fire during a staff meeting (03:40) The aftermath - what next? (05:00) Temporary relocation, hiring a public insurance adjuster (06:47) What is a public insurance adjuster, and how can they help you? (08:08) Four reasons to hire an adjuster (10:40) Costs, ethics, word of mouth referrals (13:00) Do you have an insurance story to share? Send it in! Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show! ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is a podcast for listeners between the ages of 35 and 64. Available on all major podcast platforms, the show offers an engaging journey through the various challenges and experiences of midlife. ThirtyFiveSixtyFour presents a distinct departure from the traditional midlife crisis storyline. Instead, it champions the perspective that midlife should be viewed as a period marked by play, discovery, transformation and possibility. With new episodes released weekly, ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is positioned to become one of the fastest-growing podcasts of the year, providing both valuable insights and entertainment for those in the middle. So, subscribe and get ready to join show host Karen and the ThirtyFiveSixtyFour regulars for both serious and fun conversations around living middle age to the fullest. After all, it’s not too late. You’re not too old. And you’re definitely NOT dead.

Resources: Find a Public Insurance Adjuster http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

To Do Lists Are Out. Do This Instead

Karen Stones — Tue, 19 Nov 2024 07:44:51 +0000

How can you enhance your sense of fulfillment and maybe even strengthen family bonds with just a few simple intentions? In this episode, I share a simple yet transformative practice that goes beyond the typical to-do list. This is something I’ve been doing myself - creating an intention list. All it takes is three minutes. Reflect on your highest and best intentions for the day or week—what you want to prioritize, how you want to feel, and who you want to be. This isn’t about tasks, but about setting a mindful direction for your life, from connecting with loved ones to making time for self-care. You can start small. Try three intentions a day, and see how it shifts your outlook and sense of accomplishment. It’s a quick, powerful habit that can truly change your life! ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is a podcast for listeners between the ages of 35 and 64. Available on all major podcast platforms, the show offers an engaging journey through the various challenges and experiences of midlife. ThirtyFiveSixtyFour presents a distinct departure from the traditional midlife crisis storyline. Instead, it champions the perspective that midlife should be viewed as a period marked by play, discovery, transformation and possibility. With new episodes released weekly, ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is positioned to become one of the fastest-growing podcasts of the year, providing both valuable insights and entertainment for those in the middle. So, subscribe and get ready to join show host Karen and the ThirtyFiveSixtyFour regulars for both serious and fun conversations around living middle age to the fullest. After all, it’s not too late. You’re not too old. And you’re definitely NOT dead.

Resources: How (and why) to start a gratitude journal for your well-being Gratitude Journal | Count your blessings and enjoy better health and happiness How to Make a Gratitude List Gratitude Practice: How to Use Gratitude to Improve Your Life http://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

https://youtu.be/b2LEgRHVHpo

Is This One Thing Missing From Your Health and Wellness Routine?

Karen Stones — Wed, 30 Oct 2024 21:37:05 +0000

Did you know that repeating daily affirmations can shift your mindset and energize your outlook on life? In this special episode, Karen guides listeners through a transformative experience with positive affirmations tailored for those in midlife. Join us on a 40-day journey where we encourage you to integrate these affirmations into your daily routine, fostering personal growth and opening doors to new possibilities.

Before we begin, take a moment to relax. Take a deep breath. Let go of any tension. Remember, you are deserving of happiness, success, and all the good things this stage of life has to offer. Tune in and embrace the power of positivity in your spiritual journey!

After all, it’s not too late. You’re not too old. And you’re definitely NOT dead.

Resources:

thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

3 Reasons You Need a Healthcare Directive: True Stories from an Estate Attorney

Karen Stones — Fri, 25 Oct 2024 18:15:28 +0000

Are you prepared to make critical healthcare decisions for yourself or your loved ones when the time comes? Join me as I welcome back my friend and attorney Andie Patton to discuss the vital topic of healthcare directives. We explore the importance of appointing a trusted agent to make medical decisions in cases of incapacity, navigating family dynamics, and planning ahead to ensure your wishes are respected. The conversation covers end-of-life decision-making, including the nuances of healthcare directives, organ donation, and documenting preferences like cremation. We also address the emotional aspects of preparing for these scenarios and the role of attorneys versus DIY approaches. Tune in for insights on ensuring your healthcare decisions align with your values. Andrea, “Andie” Patton is a seasoned trust and estate attorney with over 20 years of experience in drafting family trusts, wills, and powers of attorney. Passionate about guiding clients through the complexities of estate planning, she ensures their families are well cared for and their wishes honored. Andie holds a Bachelor’s degree in English from UC Irvine and earned her law degree from Loyola Law School in 1999. Licensed by the California State Bar, she is an active member of the Orange County Bar Association. Outside of work, Andie enjoys reading, spending time with her son and partner Matt, and exploring the outdoors with her chihuahua, Theo.

In this episode:

(00:00) What is it, who is it for, and when would you need an advanced healthcare directive?

(05:31) Choosing the right family member to be your agent

(08:13) Using the California Medical Association form, immediate vs. ‘springing’

(09:27) Living wills, making changes in agents or directives

(14:40) Organ and tissue donation, cremation or burial requests

(20:18) Changing percentages of people that choose different options over the years, movies and real life scenarios in the news

(26:17) How your body may help others after death

(31:45) Steps to take, how long will it take, what are the costs of a directive?

(33:09) Kaiser has their own forms, but check them with your attorney, AARP and other orgs have resources

(38:34) Review this document every FIVE YEARS!

(40:54) Playing “You Know You’re Old When…”

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: The Patton Law Firm Human Composting The Descendants | George Clooney Movie Between Life & Death: Terri Schivo’s Story | Documentary NFL player Konrad Reuland died at 29. But his heart saved baseball legend Rod Carew Konrad A. Reuland Foundation The Story of Konrad Reuland, A Tale of Tragedy and Triumph Organ and Tissue Donation Non-Profit: OneLegacy Email Andie for a consult thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

https://youtu.be/9BIff7i7D5c

Job Loss in Your 40s, 50s, and Beyond: Advice and Support for Starting Over

Karen Stones — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 23:47:53 +0000

What are the real emotions behind the often-used phrase, "It's not personal, it's business"?

In this episode we explore the VERY personal, emotional impact of layoffs, featuring guest Tara MacKenzie, who shares her deeply moving experiences of navigating job loss. Through her journey, we challenge the notion that job loss is merely a business decision, stressing the importance of treating each individual's contributions with dignity and respect.

By reflecting on personal stories of job loss, we highlight how empathy and transparency in leadership can mitigate the emotional toll of such events. We cover the importance of one-on-one communication and preparedness, offering practical advice for leaders tasked with delivering difficult news and for colleagues aiming to provide genuine support. We round out our episode by exploring innovative ways to cope with job loss and how career setbacks can lead to exciting new beginnings. Tara’s entrepreneurial venture, Ragebox, was a creative response to job loss, offering humor and comfort in challenging times. As we share insights on maintaining a healthy work-life balance, we emphasize the power of community and the support systems that can transform adversity into opportunity.

RageBox specializes in crafting gifts, experiences and products that cater to the dark theme enthusiasts and fans of the mischievous. The company founder, who had endured multiple job losses in the IT sector (and being handed that dreaded 'pack up your desk in a box' spiel one too many times), decided to turn her frustration into inspiration and RageBox was born. RageBox is a brilliant fusion of her passion for true crime, horror movies, and astrology, all within the simple concept of a box. If you're looking for the perfect gift for a fellow dark theme enthusiast, or just want to indulge your own dark side, RageBox has got you covered. Check out our Themed Gift Boxes and experiences, or pick up an angry artifact from our products and collections. Get ready to embrace the thrill and dive into the darkness with RageBox - RageOn!

In this episode:

- (00:00) Six common major stressors in middle age

- (02:37) The shock of being laid off

- (05:46) Karen’s change in perspective about people who get laid off

- (08:00) Tara’s experience of being laid off, different reactions to this news

- (13:07) Advice for leadership when laying off

- (18:15) Words and phrases to use in layoffs (and what not to say)

- (20:29) An ideal scenario story

- (24:00) How to proactively help a colleague who is being let go

- (28:00) Tara’s business pivot to Ragebox

- (33:00) Have these ‘closed doors’ led to better things?

- (37:00) Tara’s worst layoff she had to perform on the job

- (39:40) Ways to get in touch with Tara and Ragebox

- Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

So, subscribe and get ready to join show host Karen and the ThirtyFiveSixtyFour regulars for both serious and fun conversations around living middle age to the fullest. After all, it’s not too late. You’re not too old. And you’re definitely NOT dead.

https://youtu.be/xG49UUFlcAw

Wisdom from 1,000+ Deathbeds: A Chaplain’s Unforgettable Stories of Hope and Courage

Karen Stones — Wed, 09 Oct 2024 15:54:12 +0000

How do end-of-life rituals and personal reflections shape our understanding of life and death?

In this thought-provoking episode, Karen welcomes motivational speaker and seasoned chaplain Jeff Hetschel. Jeff shares his profound insights and experiences from his extensive career in providing spiritual and emotional support during critical end-of-life situations. He reflects on the invaluable role of chaplains, highlighting the importance of offering hope and courage in emergency rooms and on the front lines with firefighters and police officers. Jeff delves into his experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic, offering a poignant perspective on the challenges faced by healthcare workers and patients, as well as the significance of human connection and end-of-life rituals. Throughout the conversation, Jeff emphasizes the transformative power of love, spirituality, and self-care, drawing from his personal journey and four decades of marriage. He encourages listeners to pursue their dreams regardless of age or circumstances, leaving them with a motivational reminder to cherish life's final moments. In this episode:

(00:00) Welcome and intro of guest Jeff Hetschel
(01:49) Origin and function of chaplains, hope and courage
(07:05) Personal experiences as a chaplain
(10:04) Thinking and speaking in retrospect about experiences during the pandemic
(14:07) Common chaplain situations at the end of life
(23:07) Is there a transitional stage between life and death?
(26:37) “Thin spaces” and the presence of god (as each person perceives it)
(29:00) Personal ND experiences of Jeff’s
(34:56) Changing your life after an NDE
(37:00) Longevity, using AI as a coach
(40:00) Advice for Jeff’s younger self
(42:00) Societal reactions to the state of the world, listening, love, learning, and acceptance

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show! ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is a podcast for listeners between the ages of 35 and 64. Available on all major podcast platforms, the show offers an engaging journey through the various challenges and experiences of midlife. ThirtyFiveSixtyFour presents a distinct departure from the traditional midlife crisis storyline. Instead, it champions the perspective that midlife should be viewed as a period marked by play, discovery, transformation and possibility. With new episodes released weekly, ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is positioned to become one of the fastest-growing podcasts of the year, providing both valuable insights and entertainment for those in the middle. So, subscribe and get ready to join show host Karen and the ThirtyFiveSixtyFour regulars for both serious and fun conversations around living middle age to the fullest. After all, it’s not too late. You’re not too old. And you’re definitely NOT dead.

Resources: The Hetschel Group Jeff Hetschel LinkedIn The Body Keeps the Score

https://youtu.be/KD6u69Wbu78

You Know You're Old When: Hilarious Compilation Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

Karen Stones — Mon, 23 Sep 2024 15:18:20 +0000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_W_Ar0i9aE

Ever wonder how we went from blasting boomboxes to bird-watching in the blink of an eye? In this clip compilation, we take a look back at some of the funny ‘You know you’re old when….” segments from the podcast. From reminiscing about the days of pagers and walkmans to hilariously unexpected challenges like getting up out of a recliner, we leave no ‘stone’ unturned. You'll laugh with us as we struggle through the undeniable signs of middle age. Whether it's the constant need for tissues, the joy of early dinners, or the newfound thrill of bird watching, we share the quirks that come with getting older. From multiple bathroom stops on road trips to explaining old tech to our kids, episode is packed with stories that highlight the absurdities of midlife. Join us for a fun, fast-moving look back at a few of the incredible guests we’ve hosted on 3564 so far. Sit back, relax, and enjoy as we find humor in the everyday moments and embrace the journey with a smile. In this episode:

(00:00) Karen introduces the episode
(01:07) Andrea
(02:24) Kim Selby
(03:22) Lawyer? Producer?
(03:45) Curtis Thompson
(04:29) Tiffany Wilson
(07:03) Mary Cook trampoline?
(07:56) Kevin Headley
(09:38) Chris Roberts
(10:12) Producer CD collection
(10:54) Fax Machine - Young woman in blue
(12:28) Keeping old clothes - silver fox guy
(14:00) Kevin Headley
(15:00) Chris Roberts
(17:37) Karen closes the show

Resources: thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

The Most Connected Man on Earth, Chris Dancy opens up about aging, AI, finding true love in middle age and more

Karen Stones — Tue, 10 Sep 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Chris Dancy, aka “The most connected man on earth”, shares his incredible journey detailed in his book "Don't Unplug." Chris provides profound insights into optimizing personal health, aging, love, dating, and preparing for death through the extensive use of sensors and technology. His unique perspective offers an eye-opening glimpse into the future of human connectivity and well-being.

Chris and I reminisce about our 22-year friendship, filled with adventures, laughter, and memorable moments from our early adulthood to now. We explore the concept of aging, discussing research that suggests it happens in accelerated bursts and sharing personal experiences of how milestone ages bring noticeable changes. We highlight the importance of adopting healthier habits early on to ease the transition into older age. Our conversation offers a humorous and relatable exploration of generational habits and preferences, from serving cereal for dinner to the quirky traits we develop over time. We delve into the use of self-tracking AI systems for enhancing productivity and emotional well-being, and discuss the impact of technology on video calls and digital reflections. Lastly, we touch upon the complexities of forgetfulness, the advantages of neurodiversity, and the significance of preparing for death and legacy. Tune in for an enlightening and entertaining conversation that spans a wide range of topics, guaranteed to leave you with valuable insights and plenty of laughs. In this episode:

(00:00) “The Most Connected Man on Earth” & navigating offensive comments

(03:58) Old friends reflect on past adventures and travels

(09:57) Reacting to news articles with Chris, embracing aging

(13:37) Maximizing life's battery, making each experience “the best” it can be

(17:00) Reactions to news: Disappointing experiences at over-hyped Willy Wonka event

(29:44) AI-assisted life coach platform, feedback on daily habits, emotions, mindful reflection

(37:17) Personal data tracking and AI insights

(43:00) Technology to improve human connections, “Are You Okay?”

(45:32) Memory, focus, and the “salad bar of neurodiversity”

(52:42) Preparing for death and legacy

(55:22) Steve Wozniak and happiness in life

(01:00:45) Life planning and technology, planning an approach to death

(01:04:14) Chris and the dating app meeting of his partner, technology transformed life

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Chris Dancy Chris Dancy’s Book: Don’t Unplug Scientists find humans age dramatically in two bursts – at 44, then 60 Steve Wozniak: When I die, these are the moments I want to remember—they don’t involve co-founding Apple When is forgetting normal — and when is it worrisome? A neuroscientist weighs in Creator of Failed Willy Wonka Immersive Event Speaks Out: “It All Looked Good on Paper” ‘My anxiety loves you right now’: Man gets AI clone to do job interview for him 35 Things That People On X Are Calling "Old People Things" Know Your Meme - Smooth Yoda Past Episode - Are you ready to die? Legally, that is. Find out with special guest Andrea Patton, Estate Planning Attorney Past Episode on Artificial Intelligence and Paying for a Private Service thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

https://youtu.be/pZy__KHWE8o

The Modern Man’s Dilemma and Why Supportive Partners Matter More Than Ever

Karen Stones — Wed, 04 Sep 2024 16:00:26 +0000

What does it truly mean to be a man in today's evolving society?

Join us as we unpack this intricate question with returning guest Iain Thatcher, an expert coach specializing in modern masculinity. Iain offers invaluable insights into how men can interpret the mixed messages they receive and shares actionable advice on how they can be their best selves amid these changes. We delve into the unique challenges middle-aged men encounter, discussing everything from emotional labor in relationships to the mental workload of managing household tasks.

How should men respectfully respond to a female colleague's noticeable cosmetic changes without crossing lines? Iain sheds light on the complexities of workplace interactions and dating, particularly for men navigating post-divorce life. He emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence and the ability to read social cues, which are crucial for forming respectful and meaningful connections. Finally, we discuss the importance of community and support for men, especially those going through midlife transitions. Iain explains the benefits of coaching and therapy, encouraging men to seek growth and improvement without feeling inherently problematic. Listen in for practical tips for men to invest in themselves and maintain their passions, paving the way for more fulfilling personal and professional lives.

https://youtu.be/J8v_tWe8gsEhttps://youtu.be/eDCBHb9F5T4

In this episode:

- Navigating modern masculinity and societal expectations with Ian Thatcher's insights

- Emotional labor in relationships and the hidden mental workload

- Balancing respect and acknowledgment in workplace interactions and comments

- Challenges in post-divorce dating, emotional intelligence

- Reading social cues and asking for consent in dating scenarios

- Balancing career success with personal availability in relationships

- Addressing men's midlife challenges, health issues, and aging gracefully

- Building male community through shared hobbies and online groups

- Exploring coaching and therapy

- Ian Thatcher's coaching approach and its benefits for middle-aged men

- Encouraging self-investment and the power of community support

- Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Iain Thatcher Book your free 15-minute consultation with Iain Thatcher Book: For the Love of Men thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o2PGDg4_hA&t=313s

Your Middle Age Secret Weapon: A Life Coach

Karen Stones — Tue, 27 Aug 2024 11:00:00 +0000

Today I sit down with Iain Thatcher, a seasoned behavioral health and wellness coach, to explore the diverse types of coaching available and what it takes to be a truly effective coach, highlighting the importance of experience and dedication.

Navigating the complexities of life can be challenging, and finding the right coach is crucial. Iain helps us break down how coaching assists clients in uncovering their paths and creating actionable plans, from tackling job searches to achieving a work-life balance. We delve into the nuances of the coach-client relationship, stressing the importance of accountability and the professional boundaries that distinguish it from friendship. Ian also shares what to look for when selecting a coach to suit your individual needs. As people reach middle age, they often reevaluate their careers and seek greater personal fulfillment. Ian provides valuable insights into this transitional phase, sharing personal anecdotes and professional experiences that underline the role of coaching in navigating significant life changes, such as divorce. We wrap up by celebrating the empowering journey of self-investment and personal growth, with Iain recounting some of the incredible transformations his clients have experienced.

https://youtu.be/d79Wwb1kJ2Qhttps://youtu.be/MOqYvHGgbbk

In this episode:

High school reunions and reviving friendships

Iain, a behavioral health and wellness coach, shares his journey and expertise

Rise of ‘confidence coaching’

Most common areas in Iain’s coaching business

Iain’s coaching session structure

Breaking down complex goals into steps, removing barriers

Finding the right coach involves interviewing at least 3 and ensuring a good fit

Themes with middle-aged clients, career reevaluation and shifting priorities during middle-age

How to work with a coach, time invested, vs. other modalities like therapy

The best reason to hire a coach

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Iain Thatcher Book Your Free 15-minute coaching session with Iain Thatcher Book: The Second Mountain thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWtSP_xgdu4&t=521s

5 Surprising Things Every Car Owner Should Know

Karen Stones — Mon, 19 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, we uncover little known pearls of driving wisdom to enhance your road experience. Discover the obscure laws governing air and water at gas stations and learn how speeding over a certain amount can increase your ticket chances. We reveal the secret behind a dashboard icon that can be surprisingly informative, and decode what those flashing brights from other drivers might actually signify. Plus, we share a quirky trick to locate your car in a crowded parking lot and a bonus survival tip for extending battery life. Tune in for these rare insights to become a more savvy and informed driver!

In this episode:

Laws governing air and water at gas stations
Speed racers, beware! If you go over the speed limit by this amount, you’re more likely to get a ticket
This icon on your dashboard gives you a helpful hint
Is someone flashing their brights at you? What does it really mean?
Bizarre trick to help you find your car in the parking lot
Bonus! Survival tip for extending battery life
Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources:Free Speech and Flashing Headlights thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YaEggkKOC8&t=228s

Who Are Your 5? The Hidden Power of Your Inner Circle

Karen Stones — Mon, 12 Aug 2024 18:57:40 +0000

In this episode of ThirtyFiveSixtyFour, we dive into transformative self-improvement strategies tailored for your midlife journey. Discover how the people you surround yourself with can significantly impact your growth. You’ll hear about evaluating your current social circle, identifying gaps, and strategically integrating influential individuals who align with your goals. Whether you want to enhance your career, health, or personal life, learn how to reshape your schedule and relationships to support your aspirations.Join us as we explore practical steps to rejuvenate your path and turn midlife into a playground of discovery and potential. Don't forget to follow, subscribe, and share your thoughts and feedback with us—let's embark on this exciting transformation together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dNUWK_QdhM&feature=youtu.be

In this episode:

Who do you want to be? What do you wish to improve?
Choose several areas of your life to focus on building
Look at your schedule, which 5 people are you spending time with?
Find the gaps, find a friend who can help you get better at your chosen area
Which friend, colleague or family member does what YOU feel you need to improve
Rearrange your schedule to fit these people in
Comment and share - what are you interested in? How are you going to change your schedule and friends?
Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is a podcast for listeners between the ages of 35 and 64. Available on all major podcast platforms, the show offers an engaging journey through the various challenges and experiences of midlife. ThirtyFiveSixtyFour presents a distinct departure from the traditional midlife crisis storyline. Instead, it champions the perspective that midlife should be viewed as a period marked by play, discovery, transformation and possibility. With new episodes released weekly, ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is positioned to become one of the fastest-growing podcasts of the year, providing both valuable insights and entertainment for those in the middle. So, subscribe and get ready to join show host Karen and the ThirtyFiveSixtyFour regulars for both serious and fun conversations around living middle age to the fullest. After all, it’s not too late. You’re not too old. And you’re definitely NOT dead.Resources:The Science behind "You Are the Average of 5 People You Spend Time With the Most You're The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With Stanford Study: Peer Influence on Behavior Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives -- How Your Friends' Friends' Friends Affect Everything You Feel, Think, and Do New England Journal of Medicine: Social Contagion Theory Thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Vitamins, supplements and middle age: A Candid chat about what is being used and why

Karen Stones — Tue, 23 Jul 2024 07:59:45 +0000

Have you ever wondered how to streamline your health routine without overwhelming your budget or time? Today Karen is joined by returning guest and 3564’s podcast’s Digital Content and Brand Strategy Director Megan Steen. Megan divulges her secrets to optimizing your well-being with vitamins and supplements. From her meticulous use of a pill organizer to the game-changing Gem Bite, packed with superfoods like turmeric and probiotics, Megan shares her transformative journey towards better gut and skin health. Her practical tips will inspire you to simplify your supplement regimen while reaping maximum benefits. Discover affordable supplement options from Target and Costco that don't compromise on quality. Learn from Megan's personal experiences and insights gained from annual health check-ups and blood work. Our discussion touches on the psychological advantages of a consistent wellness routine and weighs the pros and cons of getting nutrients solely from food versus supplements. Whether you're navigating midlife or just beginning your health journey, Megan’s insights offer valuable guidance on making informed and effective choices that won’t break the bank. Megan Steen, our own Digital Content and Brand Strategy Director of the thirtyfivesixtyfour podcast, lives in Orange County, CA, and balances a dynamic career with family life alongside her husband and two toddlers. With roots in Northern California and a passion for sports inherited from her father, a sports writer, Megan is a devoted fan of the San Francisco Giants and 49ers. Her decade-long blog, With Love, Aunt Megs, reflects her personal musings and advice. Currently Director of Growth Marketing at Quest Software, Megan oversees international teams driving diverse marketing initiatives. Beyond work, she cherishes genuine connections, hosting annual vision board parties and participating in a brunch club. She finds solace in nature, whether strolling on local beaches, breathing in the crisp air of Lake Tahoe, or marveling at Big Sur's beauty. Megan's insightful podcast episode on navigating grief, "Loving a Widower," showcases her heartfelt storytelling and empathy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TrUt29Da4Q&t=2s

In this episode:

Megan uses a pill organizer to ensure consistent daily supplement intake.

The Gem Bite offers a nutrient-dense option for gut and skin health.

Liquid collagen, tracking through bloodwork.

How do you know supplements are working? Annual health check-ups and blood work provide valuable health insights.

Affordable supplement options at Target and Costco.

Kombucha improves digestion and immunity, boosting gut health.

Weekly vitamin B complex shots enhance energy, focus, and mood.

IV infusion treatments offer potential wellness benefits, especially post-events.

Monthly costs of supplements, how much is excreted vs. used in your body?

Discussing the importance of starting with existing supplements before buying new ones.

Insights into middle-age health routines and the mental comfort of healthy choices.

Mid-life jokes, fitness adventures, ironman races.

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources:

Natural Vitality Calm Gummies Ancient Nutrition Multi Collagen Protein How Does IV Infusion Work? What to Expect from a Drip Spa WHAT ARE B-COMPLEX INJECTIONS? InsideTracker Gem Bite Fruit And Vegetable Supplements: What To Know Synergy Raw Kombucha Liquid Collagen - Spoiled Child

You CAN feel confident and sexy in middle age – here’s how.

Karen Stones — Mon, 15 Jul 2024 17:03:53 +0000

Today Karen is joined by the vivacious Kim Selby, who shares her inspiring journey of aging gracefully and confidently. From her early career at Glamour Magazine to starring in a lingerie ad in her 60s, Kim's story is a testament to resilience and self-acceptance. We explore societal beauty standards, the pressures of cosmetic enhancements, and the transition to embracing natural hair color. Kim offers practical tips for boosting self-confidence, celebrating personal accomplishments, and maintaining a positive self-image through self-care practices. Tune in for an uplifting conversation on inner beauty and the power of a positive mindset at any age. Kim Selby is a multifaceted motivator and fashion aficionado who embraces life's stages with zest. From her influential roles at GLAMOUR Magazine and Saks Fifth Avenue to founding a fashion show production company, she's empowered individuals of all ages to discover their confidence through style and self-expression. Certified in Creativity Coaching, Kim now champions women through Sparkle Coaching, igniting their inner spark and speaking passionately on stage about embracing life beyond mid-life. A dedicated community volunteer, she's uplifted countless lives, including previously incarcerated women, fostering their self-esteem and reintegration. Kim's upcoming self-guided class promises to inspire others to ignite their own sparks and contribute positively to our world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GKO6Hs7xwY&t=76s

In this episode:

Background and journey, New York, acting, journalisam - Kim Selby

Appearing in a lingerie commercial after 60

Most middle-aged people (men and women) won’t wear a swimsuit at a pool party

Embracing and celebrating our bodies

Affirmation techniques for self-encouragement

Embracing “not caring” and authentic self at the beach

Discussion on cosmetic procedures

Men and plastic surgery

Boosting confidence through external appearance

Wearing a “cloak of compliments” that YOU give yourself

“You know you’re old when….” game

Follow, subscribe, share, and rate….Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Ignite Your Spark Podcast Kim's Episode on Silver Hair TangledSilverMag Harper Wilde Commercial with Kim The Psychology of Underwear Why Confidence is so Attractive The Growing Appeal of Plastic Surgery Among Men

6 Ways to Discover True Wealth and Claim Your Purpose

Karen Stones — Fri, 14 Jun 2024 13:12:31 +0000

Age is just a number, and those of us in the middle are here to prove it. Join us for an inspiring conversation with Curtis Thompson, a remarkable musician, dedicated father, loving husband, and esteemed professor who eschews ageist stereotypes to follow his dreams. Together, we challenge the conventional wisdom surrounding ageism, and Curtis shares his thoughts on defining success from within and using criticism as a driving force. Our discussion expands to the concept of true wealth, emphasizing gratitude, meaningful relationships, and serving others as keys to a fulfilling life. In a consumer-driven world, Curtis' insights illuminate a rare path to genuine happiness and purpose. Tune in to redefine what it means to live a rich life and be inspired to make the most of the present.

https://youtu.be/MG4jX1uWGQk

In this episode:

Living without regrets, learning lessons - Curtis Thompson defies age stereotypes, views success as a personal metric, not societal
Emphasizing self-worth, self-acceptance, and addressing traumas related to aging
Therapy and Reflection: Essential for growth and well-being at any stage of life
Gratitude, relationships, and community service as antidotes to materialism
Curtis encourages living in the present and serving others
Value in Scarcity: Understanding how scarcity and difficulty can enhance appreciation and meaning
The 3564 podcast is one of the only venues speaking to the middle
Sneak Peak - 7-Day Generosity Challenge
Feeling down and depressed? Lonely? Try service to others
“You know you’re old when...” game
Follow, subscribe, share, and rate…Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Gabby Bernstein Curtis Thompson Website Simon Sinek Attachment Theory Simply Psychology-Attachment Theory thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

12 Etiquette Tips for your next fancy meal, date or dinner with the boss

Karen Stones — Wed, 05 Jun 2024 19:37:09 +0000

Polish your dining etiquette for any occasion with these essential tips! These insights aren't just about following rules; they're about exuding confidence in any dining scenario, whether it's a casual meal with friends, a first date, or a formal business dinner.

Do you freeze when you encounter a piece of gristle or bone in your meal? Wondering why stashing your phone out of sight can significantly enhance your dining experience? Join me as I delve into mastering key dining etiquette to elevate your confidence whether you're on a date or dining with your boss.

Learn the art of discreetly handling inedible items and understand why making eye contact during a toast goes beyond mere politeness—it's a way to forge genuine connections. From understanding wine ordering nuances, like leaving a sip for your server, to knowing when to rest your elbows on the table, I’ve got you covered. Plus, discover the subtle differences between American and European fork styles to effortlessly navigate any dining setting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox98Oa4Drck

In this episode:

Keep your phone silenced and off the table to give your full attention to your companions.
Demystify wine ordering with tips on sniffing, corked wine, and leaving a sip as a tip.
Elbows on the table: when it's acceptable and when it's not.
Master the art of cutting your food one bite at a time.
Fork etiquette: fork-down or fork-up?
Navigate napkin usage, from waiting for the host to black napkin hints.
Leave plate clearing to the professionals; don't play Jenga with your dinnerware.
Passing salt, pepper, and dishes with finesse.
Quick tips for handling unexpected encounters like gristle or bone.
Delve into the history and modern etiquette of toasts and cheers.
Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Ordering Wine in a Restaurant 7 Expert Tips for Ordering Wine at a Restaurant Napkin Etiquette 101 How You Place Your Cutlery And What It Says thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Stop Future Chasing and Avoid Burnout with these 3 Tips

Karen Stones — Thu, 30 May 2024 13:36:50 +0000

Are you a “future chaser”? Are you constantly pushing for “the next thing” and forgetting to appreciate where you are right now? Join us as we explore these insights and more with our special guest, Tiffany Wilson, a seasoned marketing and communications professional who has navigated her career with resilience and grace. Tiffany shares her incredible journey from Southern California to Philadelphia, including an adventurous cross-country move during the COVID-19 pandemic. Together, we dissect the dual nature of "future chasing"—how it can drive us to succeed but also lead to burnout and discontent if left unchecked. We delve into practical methods for maintaining a positive mindset, such as writing thank you notes to oneself and keeping a gratitude journal. We highlight the significance of self-affirmations and the impact of focusing on abundance rather than lack. Tiffany Wilson juggles roles as a devoted wife, mother, avid traveler, roller coaster enthusiast, and enthusiastic high-fiver. Beginning her career at a boutique integrated marketing agency, she progressed to amplify the narratives of many renowned brands. Presently, she spearheads social media initiatives for Comcast NBCUniversal at its Philadelphia corporate base. Originally from Southern California, Tiffany, along with her spouse and two children, Miles and Nola, made the move to Pennsylvania amidst the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, settling in the Philadelphia suburbs.

https://youtu.be/fsVCl04tb-4

In this episode:

Tiffany’s career journey included Walmart and other leading brands
“Future chasing” - a curse and a trap
Burnout - what it means to different people, common causes
Regaining balance - taking a breath, gratitude
Thank you notes- sending , receiving, even writing them to yourself!
Keeping a gratitude journal, positive affirmations
Physical and emotional symptoms of burnout
Talking to your 25-year-old self
The game - “You Know You’re Old When….’
Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources:Positive Affirmations for Self-Love, Self Esteem, Confidence Powerful Positive Morning Affirmations Positive Affirmations to Change Your Life How to Practice Gratitude 8 tips to help you cultivate an attitude of gratitude Tiffany Wilson LinkedIn thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Caring for an adult sibling. It's more common than you think.

Karen Stones — Wed, 22 May 2024 16:12:03 +0000

Statistics show that a growing percentage of the population chooses to be childless and single. Who is going to care for these individuals when they become incapacitated? Join us for a heartfelt discussion on the often-unspoken challenges that come with siblings caring for siblings through medical crises and disabilities. In this episode, we bring light to the sacrifices and emotional journeys that families navigate when a sibling steps into a caregiving role. Our very own Mary Cook, a vital member of our podcast team and one of eight siblings, shares her family's touching story of supporting her older brother John (who was born with cerebral palsy), particularly after the loss of their parents. This conversation is a tribute to the countless silent heroes who take on such responsibilities, often reshaping their lives around the needs of their loved ones. This episode is not just a source of support and recognition for caregivers but also a call to normalize these caregiving experiences within our society.

Mary Cook, nicknamed “MC” and “Mother Mary,” is a renowned content whisperer and Marcom Director at ThirtyFiveSixtyFour. With a degree in English from UCLA, she merges her grammar expertise with captivating storytelling. Raised in a large family, she cherishes familial bonds and infuses her work with the same energy she brings to family gatherings. A sports enthusiast turned adrenaline junkie, Mary balances her role with adventurous pursuits like jet skiing and desert trailblazing. Behind the scenes, her meticulousness and dedication drive the excellence of ThirtyFiveSixtyFour's Marcom strategy, ensuring each communication reflects the brand's essence.

https://youtu.be/z80FDboFaDE

In this episode:

Mary Cook discusses caring for her brother John who was born with cerebral palsy
Understanding the complexities of cerebral palsy and family care
A large family and sharing responsibilities
External support and boundaries in sibling caregiving
Navigating guilt and responsibility in a sibling caregiver's life
Maintaining a sibling relationship - paying for caregiving duties
Strategies for managing care and self-care for caregivers
Remembering this is your sibling, even though they may be declining
Celebrating the devotion of siblings in caregiving roles
The game - “You Know You’re Old When….’
Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: Childless Older Adults More Educated, More Likely to Live Alone Than Older Parents What to Expect When You Become a Sibling’s Sole Caregiver Sibling Caregiving United States Census Bureau Unmarried and Single Americans thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Are you ready to die? Legally, that is. Find out with special guest Andrea Patton, Estate Planning Attorney

Karen Stones — Thu, 16 May 2024 16:02:52 +0000

We’ve all heard the horror stories that can unfold when a person dies unexpectedly or without an estate plan to carry out their wishes. In this episode, seasoned estate planning attorney Andrea Patton and I delve into the intricate world of wills and trusts, exploring the emotional and legal complexities of estate planning, from peculiar inheritances to the importance of meticulous trust management to avoid probate court. We tackle thorny issues such as blended families, guardianship challenges, and selecting a successor trustee, emphasizing the necessity of clear directives and understanding the impact on our loved ones. Additionally, we highlight the often-overlooked aspect of pet care in estate planning, sharing personal anecdotes and insights to ensure our furry companions are cared for after we're gone. Whether navigating family dynamics or ensuring your pet's future, this episode promises both engagement and enlightenment.

Andrea "Andie" Patton, a dedicated estate planning specialist for over 20 years, excels in crafting comprehensive estate plans, including family trusts, wills, powers of attorney, advanced health care directives, and more. Her passion lies in ensuring families are prepared for the future, even when they cannot express their wishes themselves. Licensed to practice in all California state and Federal Courts, Andrea is an active member of the Orange County Bar Association. After graduating from UC Irvine with a B.A. in English, she pursued her legal career, graduating from Loyola Law School. Andrea prioritizes family and relationships, taking pride in her son's achievements and cherishing moments with her partner Matt while enjoying leisure activities like walking her chihuahua Theo, reading, and hiking.

https://youtu.be/Z2lvoz54Rpc

In this episode:

Trusts vs. wills, DIY vs. Attorney-generated, avoiding probate
The average age of Andie’s clients for estate plans
Death and money make people crazy
Death is often easier than issues around incapacity
Challenges with siblings and wills
Unusual items to squabble over - the doll collection
Pets and their care after your death
Prince and Bob Marley - complicated estates
Probate is not triggered if your estate doesn’t exceed $184,500
Average costs for wills and trusts - it depends
The game - “You Know You’re Old When….’
Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: The Patton Law Firm Andrea Patton LinkedIn CA Courts “Small Estate” Probate Thresholds thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Winning Strategies for Negotiating Everyday Things: Salary, Cars, and more.

Karen Stones — Fri, 10 May 2024 18:48:17 +0000

Have you ever noticed how a well-timed pause can speak volumes during a negotiation? Join me and returning guest, sales and marketing maestro Kevin Headley, as we unravel the intricacies of negotiation, an art form that's just as relevant when buying a candy bar as it is in the boardroom. We pull back the curtain on the power of silence, likability, and the deftly executed 'sweet trade' to find that sweet spot in any deal. Starting with the concept of low stakes negotiations in everyday life, these seemingly trivial exchanges can set the stage for the psychological preparation necessary for larger, more significant negotiations. Listen in as a seasoned sales executive shares insights on aiming for 'win-win' outcomes and the importance of approaching every deal with the right mindset, whether you're bartering over household items or navigating high-stakes sales contracts. With over two decades in the Consumer Durable Goods Industry, Kevin Headley is an accomplished Sales & Marketing Leader, having worked with renowned brands like Whirlpool Corporation and Sub-Zero Group. Currently serving as VP of Sales at Rinnai America, he drives innovation and execution. Known for mentoring colleagues and fostering enduring client relationships, Kevin values humor in both professional and personal settings. His family has embraced various relocations across the US, settling in Peachtree City, Georgia, where Kevin faces the challenge of an empty nest. In his leisure time, he enjoys being a devoted father to his three daughters, playing guitar with his garage band, and refining his golf skills.

https://youtu.be/FXY7zpT6ih0

In this episode:

Try some everyday negotiations, like no-risk haggling in convenience stores
Win-win outcomes in negotiations, the power of silence
A friendly demeanor can unlock unexpected upgrades and favorable terms
Understanding motivations is key in negotiations, creative solutions like 'sweet trades' can lead to mutual satisfaction
Strategies include timing purchases and knowing when to commit
Low-stakes negotiations, such as garage sales tactics, choice overload
Sales executives value negotiation skills in potential hires, negotiating one's own contract reflects ability to negotiate for the company
Salary negotiations focus on adding value for pay increases, asking for alternative benefits, timing requests, handling rejections, and finding alternative solutions for advancement
A positive mindset and clear objectives are important internally, understanding personal desires helps in negotiating close relationships
The game - “You Know You’re Old When….’
Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources: The subtle power of uncomfortable silences Range effect on extremeness aversion People prefer the middle option | BPS Book: Habits of Highly Successful People Book: Getting to Yes Kevin Headley LinkedIn thirtyfivesixtyfour.com

Artificial Intelligence Q&A: Deep Fake Nudes, Music, Dr. Office Visits, Jobs and more...

Karen Stones — Fri, 19 Apr 2024 20:18:58 +0000

AI and cybersecurity expert Chris Roberts returns to the show to answer some intriguing listener questions on the topic of AI. Chris was my guest on Episode #2, and his appearance certainly stirred up some emotional responses and interesting inquiries. Tune in to hear Chris’s take on AI and its impact on various aspects of our daily life. We explore the ethical concerns surrounding deep fakes like the Taylor Swift debaucle, open-source vs. closed-source AI development, and the concerns of creatives - musicians, artists, writers, and performers. Chris speaks about the potential environmental impact of AI, the benefits of AI in medicine, and whether or not AI is going to replace you at your job. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the show – leave your comments and feedback below!

In this episode:

Taylor Swift and AI, the dark web, and deep fakes
Open source vs. closed source AI
Concerns expressed by artists, writers, musicians
Detecting AI content on social media
Interview with OpenAI CTO
Questions around AI and the environment
Nvidia - what is it, how does it work, should I invest?
Medical professionals - how are they using AI to help you?
Karen’s experience with AI at her doctor’s office
Jobs and AI - Will it replace you?
Automation has already changed our lives over the years
Self-checkouts - Amazon Fresh didn’t work
The game - “You Know You’re Old When….’
Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is your weekly dose of inspiration for navigating the exciting, unpredictable, and undeniably transformative journey of midlife. Hosted by Karen Stones, founder of 13 Jacks Marketing Agency, avoids the tired cliches of crisis and stagnation. This podcast celebrates the power of play, discovery, and possibility that comes with this unique chapter in life. Join us every week as we delve into the real stories, challenges, and triumphs of midlife. We'll explore fresh perspectives, practical tips, and inspiring experiences that will help you thrive, not just survive, during this pivotal time. Ready to rewrite your midlife narrative? Head over to ThirtyfiveSixtyfour.com and be a part of the adventure!

Resources: IamChrisRoberts.com

ChatGPT from OpenAI

Gemini AI from Google

Claude AI

What exactly happened with Taylor Swift? What is a Deep Fake?

Is my Dr using AI? How Doctors are using ChatGPT

What is Nvidia?

What is happening with all these musicians and this petition everyone is signing. And screen writers?

Why do I keep hearing AI is bad for the earth?

AI and the Environment

AI and Jobs

Open AI CTO Open AI Interview

13 Jacks Marketing Agency

Loving a Widower: A journey through the complicated, challenging and beautiful

Karen Stones — Tue, 09 Apr 2024 16:14:47 +0000

This episode dives explores the complexities, challenges and beauty of dating a widow or widower. We'll meet Megan Steen and hear her story of finding love with a widower she met at work. We explore the foundation of building a new relationship while acknowledging and honoring the memory of the one who is gone, as well as tackling the sensitive topic of being invited into the family's grief journey. You'll hear valuable advice on navigating these dynamics, along with resources like therapy and books to support both partners. The episode wraps up with interesting statistics on widowers and widowers, dispelling the myth that they are "undateable." Finally, excerpts from a poignant poem on grief add a reflective touch. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the show – leave your comments and feedback below! Originally from Northern California, Megan Steen lives in Orange County with her husband and two energetic toddlers. A lifelong sports fan, she roots for the San Francisco teams. Building a successful career in enterprise technology, Megan rose from an office assistant to Director of Growth Marketing at Quest Software, now leading a global marketing team. She values personal connections and enjoys hosting vision board parties and brunches. Finding peace in nature, Megan loves beach walks, the fresh air of Lake Tahoe, and the beauty of Big Sur. To share her wisdom, Megan writes heartfelt letters filled with life lessons to her niece.

In this episode:

Intro and background - Megan Steen
Foundations - meeting and building a relationship
Acknowledging and honoring the one who is gone
Being invited to experience grief with the family
Accessing help and resources - therapy, books
Moving in together
Interesting stats on widows and widowers
Advice on getting involved with a widow or widower
Widowers should not be viewed as “undateable”
A poem on grief
You are an ‘addition’ not a ‘replacement’ for that person who is gone
The game - “You Know You’re Old When….’
Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

Resources:

Megan’s Blog: With Love Aunt Megs

Blog Post - Grief From the Perspective of a Widow’s Partner

Brene Brown TED talk

Book: The Gift of Imperfection

Book: It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok

Book: Experiencing Grief

People Dread Meetings: 11 Ways to Make Yours Better

Karen Stones — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 18:55:47 +0000

Ever feel like meetings are the bane of productivity? Whether you're steering the ship in a high-stakes boardroom or weaving through the nuances of a casual brainstorm session, I’ve laid out an 11-step roadmap to keeping your meetings tight, engaging, and—above all—respectful of everyone's precious time. From the art of the punctual start to the subtle dance of video call etiquette, these aren’t your run-of-the-mill tips; they're the secret sauce to elevating your collaborative encounters.

https://youtu.be/ZJeR2wf3BOk

In this episode:

11 steps to streamlining and improving your meeting
Is your meeting truly necessary?
Starting the meeting on time
Two minutes for personal updates/greetings
Silent meetings – don’t waste time
Ongoing formats are helpful
Video vs. no video?
Cancelling last minute is bad form
Call out a person’s name BEFORE your question or request
Accountability - hold people to their commitments
Multi-tasking - can something be done right now during the meeting?
Celebrating successes - are you grateful to contributors?
Are you dry, dull, or Draconian? Being a jerk isn’t helping
Got a dad joke or a bad pun? Please share in your meeting for fun
Send me your comments and feedback on the show!

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is your weekly dose of inspiration for navigating the exciting, unpredictable, and undeniably transformative journey of midlife. Hosted by Karen Stones, founder of 13 Jacks Marketing Agency, avoids the tired cliches of crisis and stagnation. This podcast celebrates the power of play, discovery, and possibility that comes with this unique chapter in life. Join us every week as we delve into the real stories, challenges, and triumphs of midlife. We'll explore fresh perspectives, practical tips, and inspiring experiences that will help you thrive, not just survive, during this pivotal time. Ready to rewrite your midlife narrative? Head over to thirtyfivesixtyfour.com and be a part of the adventure!

Success, Fear and Mindset with author Mandy Schaniel

Karen Stones — Tue, 26 Mar 2024 04:15:00 +0000

Discover the transformative power of mindset as Mandy Schaniel, author of "Faith Over Fear: How to Adopt a Success Mindset," joins me for a deep dive into the psychology of success. Together, we uncover the dangers of a negative mindset and the liberating potential of a growth mindset, emphasizing the significance of mindfulness in our response to life's hurdles. Mandy and I dissect the intricate relationship between fear and achievement, revealing how fear can evolve from an impediment to a driving force with the right perspective.

Our candid discussion goes on to cover the unexpected joys of meditation and the pivotal role of emotional intelligence in leadership and personal growth. We also spotlight the essential nature of self-awareness and empathy, drawing insights from Gabby Bernstein's "The Universe Has Your Back," for those seeking to actively craft their life's path. Hear about the neuroscience behind the satisfaction of ticking off small tasks, and how these minute triumphs can culminate in substantial achievements. This episode is filled with practical strategies and inspirational stories that could be the catalyst you need to reshape your journey.

Mandy Schaniel is the founder and CEO of Schaniel Consulting Inc., providing leadership and business coaching to startups looking to build a culture of inclusivity, progress, and success for both the business and its employees. She is an accomplished author with a storied career that began as the 19th employee at ZipRecruiter and evolved into a remarkable journey of personal and professional growth. Mandy is a devoted wife and mother of three, whose expertise shines in her book "Faith Over Fear: How to Adopt a Success Mindset."

https://youtu.be/aaBp-oVK5VY

In this episode:

Intro and background - Mandy Schaniel, author of “Faith Over Fear”
What is a “mindset”?
A growth mindset - viewing failures as learning opportunities
Negative mindsets often go unrecognized
Mandy’s personal story of success in the recruitment advertising industry and the realization of the importance of work-life balance
Fear as a significant influence on success and the importance of redefining it as a motivational force
Faith and how it can influence your mindset
The transformative power of meditation, overcoming skepticism
Emotional intelligence (EQ) – a critical component of personal and professional development
Micro-goals, releasing positive brain chemicals, and building discipline
Action - a crucial element in seizing opportunities
Loyalty as a potential barrier to success, “sunk costs”
The Luck Factor - its really just taking chances
Playing “You Know You’re Old When…”

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is your weekly dose of inspiration for navigating the exciting, unpredictable, and undeniably transformative journey of midlife. Hosted by Karen Stones, founder of 13 Jacks Marketing Agency, avoids the tired cliches of crisis and stagnation. This podcast celebrates the power of play, discovery, and possibility that comes with this unique chapter in life. Join us every week as we delve into the real stories, challenges, and triumphs of midlife. We'll explore fresh perspectives, practical tips, and inspiring experiences that will help you thrive, not just survive, during this pivotal time. Ready to rewrite your midlife narrative? Head over to thirtyfiveSixtyfour.com and be a part of the adventure!

Resources:Book: Faith Over Fear Mandy Schaniel Book: The Universe Has Your Back Book: Mindset Psychology Book: Luck Factor Naming and Taming Fears That Control Us thirtyfiveSixtyfour.comSome of Karen's favorite free Positive Affirmations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo1pJ_D-H3M https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT6ASPy2Dbs

Why is pickleball so popular?

Karen Stones — Thu, 14 Mar 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Admittedly I’ve never tried pickleball. In fact, turns out I belong to “Stage One” of the four stages of pickleball acceptance, which is ‘judgement’. Today we explore the pickleball phenomenon with my special guest Rick McCord, co-founder of a career coaching company who guides individuals through transitions and helps them discover their true passions. Rick sheds light on why this sport is sweeping the nation. Stats indicate that 20% of the U.S. population has played pickleball at least once. Despite its quirky name and being seen as a less strenuous cousin to tennis, we discover the magnetic draw of pickleball, from its inclusive nature welcoming players of all ages to the sheer joy it brings. Listen in as we share anecdotes of personal skepticism turning into fascination and learn why this game's allure extends beyond mere physical activity.

Pickleball is about connections, community, and overcoming life's curveballs. We highlight a story about Pete and his triumph over depression through the camaraderie found on the pickleball courts and debate the fine line between healthy competition and the pure fun of the game. Rick and I also crack up over the sport's unique lingo that's as much a part of the game as the paddles and the net.

https://youtu.be/dS5_IyVan4I

In this episode:

The four stages of ‘pickleball acceptance’
Discovering the love for pickleball
The appeal of pickleball - age groups, low entry barriers
Evolution of the game over 60 years - and a dog named Pickles
Pickleball court etiquette
The game and community - new friends, social connections, and Pete’s story
Exploring competitive spirit versus fun
Detaching from winning, focusing on enjoyment and connections
Organizing players in phones, “Rick Pickleball”
Unique pickleball lingo
“You know you’re old when” game….

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is your weekly dose of inspiration for navigating the exciting, unpredictable, and undeniably transformative journey of midlife. Hosted by Karen Stones, founder of 13Jacks Marketing Agency, avoids the tired cliches of crisis and stagnation. This podcast celebrates the power of play, discovery, and possibility that comes with this unique chapter in life. Join us every week as we delve into the real stories, challenges, and triumphs of midlife. We'll explore fresh perspectives, practical tips, and inspiring experiences that will help you thrive, not just survive, during this pivotal time. Ready to rewrite your midlife narrative? Head over to www.thirtyfvesixtyfour.com and be a part of the adventure!

Resources: Rick McCord LinkedIn Blog Post: Why is Pickleball So Dang Popular? thirtyfivesixtyfour.com 13 Jacks Marketing Agency

Choose Happiness

Karen Stones — Thu, 07 Mar 2024 19:44:35 +0000

“The thief of happiness is comparison.”

Feeling joy can be as simple as a shared smile or an empowering tune. This episode is not just about the big revelations; it's a celebration of life's little moments that collectively weave the tapestry of our well-being.

In this episode, I dive into the theme of happiness and gratitude with guest and friend Kevin Headley, a seasoned sales and marketing executive with a history at top brands like Sub-Zero and Whirlpool. We laugh and share wisdom as we discuss the detrimental effects of ‘comparison’ on joy, the simplicity of contentment, and the importance of managing expectations in relationships. Kevin's positive outlook and the value of savoring the present moment are highlighted, as well as the role of conscious media consumption in nurturing our spirits. The episode leaves listeners with practical tips and the contagious nature of smiles for a happier life.

https://youtu.be/iAnlOy11dpY

In this episode:

How Kevin stays happy day to day
Comparison is the enemy of happiness
Setting realistic life and love expectations to enhance contentment
The joy of appreciating simplicity and avoiding the small stuff
The art of pausing and thoughtful response in parenting
Gratitude practices and examples
Conscious media consumption's role in nurturing happiness
Uplifting power of music, comedy and positivity in everyday life
Smiling at strangers to spread and receive happiness
Importance of selective social interactions for sustained happiness

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is your weekly dose of inspiration for navigating the exciting, unpredictable, and undeniably transformative journey of midlife. Hosted by Karen Stones, founder of 13Jacks Marketing Agency, avoids the tired cliches of crisis and stagnation. This podcast celebrates the power of play, discovery, and possibility that comes with this unique chapter in life. Join us every week as we delve into the real stories, challenges, and triumphs of midlife. We'll explore fresh perspectives, practical tips, and inspiring experiences that will help you thrive, not just survive, during this pivotal time. Ready to rewrite your midlife narrative? Head over to www.thirtyfvesixtyfour.com and be a part of the adventure!

Resources:

Kevin Headley LinkedIn Book: Loving What Is Study: Beyond Laughter Oxford Scientist Study: A Smile Can Change the World Book: Man’s Search for Meaning thirtyfivesixtyfour.com 13 Jacks Marketing Agency

Artificial Intelligence: Rise of the Machines

Karen Stones — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 17:00:09 +0000

Join me for a thought-provoking journey with cybersecurity and AI expert Chris Roberts to uncover the transformative power of artificial intelligence in our everyday lives. Together, we dissect the spectrum of AI development, from its humble beginnings as programmed decision systems to the nuanced, data-centric models like GPT that silently shape our existence. Chris isn't just a tech genius; he's also got a huge heart, using his expertise to blend music therapy with technology, offering solace for dementia patients.

Hear about how AI is revolutionizing not just our workspaces but our educational realms, promising a future of tailored learning experiences and a new horizon for productivity. We reflect on the potential of AI to outpace traditional methods, fostering innovation among its users. We ponder the societal perceptions that range from utopian to dystopian narratives and the ethical quandaries they present. His unique perspective bridges the gap between innovative digital solutions and deep-seated human empathy, making this conversation a harmonious blend of intellect and compassion. Chris Roberts' career spans various roles in IT giants like Microsoft and Dell, where he contributed to now-standard technologies. He holds degrees in Computer Science and Marketing, but his interests extend beyond his professional life. He collects vinyl records, writes, and enjoys aeronautics, art, and antiques. Currently, he focuses his passion on researching music therapy for dementia and establishing an art gallery for artists affected by Alzheimer's. Additionally, he is awaiting the publication of his poetry collection. This blend of professional success, technical expertise, and dedication to humanitarian causes makes him a distinct figure in both the tech sector and the wider community.

https://youtu.be/dEII40eEE4M

In this episode:

Chris Roberts discusses AI's evolution and social impact
AI and the unexpected places you’re already experiencing it
Routines and music therapy benefits
Privacy trade-offs and data control
Reclaiming personal data privacy
AI's revolutionary potential in education
Enhancing learning with AI - how does your child learn best?
Comparing AI's maturity to the early days of the internet
Cautionary tales of AI in professional contexts
AI's role in personal development
The “You know you’re middle-aged when” game
Using AI responsibly and understanding its societal impact

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is your weekly dose of inspiration for navigating the exciting, unpredictable, and undeniably transformative journey of midlife. Hosted by Karen Stones, founder of 13Jacks Marketing Agency, avoids the tired cliches of crisis and stagnation. This podcast celebrates the power of play, discovery, and possibility that comes with this unique chapter in life. Join us every week as we delve into the real stories, challenges, and triumphs of midlife. We'll explore fresh perspectives, practical tips, and inspiring experiences that will help you thrive, not just survive, during this pivotal time. Ready to rewrite your midlife narrative? Head over to www.thirtyfvesixtyfour.com and be a part of the adventure!

Resources:

IamChrisRoberts.com Book: Age of Surveillance Capitalism ChatGPT from OpenAI Gemini AI from Google Gemini AI Privacy Policy Claude AI thirtyfivesixtyfour.com 13 Jacks Marketing Agency

My name is Karen. I’m NOT a Karen.

Karen Stones — Tue, 27 Feb 2024 20:34:44 +0000

Welcome to thirtyfivesixtyfour, a celebration of life's juicy middle (ages 35 to 64) where the stories are as rich as they are real. We're tackling everything from the challenges of parenting to the liberation of starting anew in both love and work. So join me as we chuckle, commiserate, and most of all, cheer each other on. Because here, in the middle, is where the zest of life's experience gives us the best stories to share.

Join me, Karen Stones, as I share a personal and candid reflection on my journey through middle age, from being a mother of three to life as a seasoned marketing professional. Listen in as I recount my career evolution from a sales and marketing assistant to becoming a global marketing director, all while navigating the nuances of leadership and growth with the guidance of a pivotal mentor. You'll also hear about my ventures as a boutique marketing agency owner and the adventures that come with it.

In this episode:

Karen Stones shares insights on midlife, marketing, and motherhood
Journey from sales assistant to global marketing director
Personal growth and leadership lessons
Current topics and trends - should we be doing these things?
Subscribe, like, and send us your comments and ideas for future episodes

https://youtu.be/_VahoitdxA4

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is your weekly dose of inspiration for navigating the exciting, unpredictable, and undeniably transformative journey of midlife. Hosted by Karen Stones, founder of 13Jacks Marketing Agency, avoids the tired cliches of crisis and stagnation. This podcast celebrates the power of play, discovery, and possibility that comes with this unique chapter in life. Join us every week as we delve into the real stories, challenges, and triumphs of midlife. We'll explore fresh perspectives, practical tips, and inspiring experiences that will help you thrive, not just survive, during this pivotal time. Ready to rewrite your midlife narrative? Head over to www.thirtyfvesixtyfour.com and be a part of the adventure!

Resources: thirtyfivesixtyfour.com Karen Stones LinkedIn 13Jacks Marketing