Cross Vegas

Ep 25 - Cross VegASMR

Cross Vegas, LLC — Sat, 20 Dec 2025 13:12:00 +0000

You deserve a break; so let Rudy and TJ take you on a sensorally stimulating walk through a 2 Timothy 4:3 version of ASMR. Your jangled nerves may never be the same again.

In Turnt or Burnt, your gracious and pugnacious hosts discuss the spiritual angles of the Louvre heist, the apostacy of Marjorie Taylor Greene, the late-arriving imitation of their Praisebots in mainstream Christian Contemporary Music, the Batman-inspired social changes visible on the subway, and the elimination of the activities of the DOGE group in the federal government.

How Many Four Horsemen features our heroes diving into the spiritual and apocalyptic signicance of the Qatari military presence in Idaho, corrections to their earlier discussion of the canonization of Carlo Acutis, and the stench of California's Democrat plants (Ginkgo trees, specifically).

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Tue, 18 Nov 2025 15:11:00 +0000

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Ep 24 - Centaur Fielder

Cross Vegas, LLC — Mon, 20 Oct 2025 13:45:00 +0000

Just, sort of, in time for the World Series, your hosts delve into the exhibition of human excellence which is minor and/or major league baseball - but not before giving a well-deserved tribute to the once-popular television show 24. In Turnt or Burnt, Rudy and TJ deliver commentary you can't find anywhere else on such topics as the televangelists who got busted for having slaves, the Hegseth/Trump inspirational speech to the generals, the AI Friend wearable device, Samsung's new ad-serving kitchen appliances, the dangerous inflatables being used to protest in Portland, and some home-town news of the big show in the Las Vegas Sphere: Wizard of Oz in 4D. In How Many Four Horsemen, your rapture-rizzed riders rank the relative reasons to revel in the revelations of Revelation concerning the end of the world last month, the accusations of antichrist being thrown around the tech world, and the worrying divine sign of increased bear attacks in Japan.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 05 Sep 2025 17:20:00 +0000

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Ep 23 - Fast and Furrious

Cross Vegas, LLC — Sat, 30 Aug 2025 15:04:00 +0000

Commie Con is in full swing at the convention center, meaning our heroes have virtually no choice but to protest the Furries who will be in attendance. This leads Rudy and TJ on an unforgetable adventure, which includes forgetting what happened to them over the summer. In Turnt or Burnt, your televanfluencing hosts discuss Tylenol, the new frontier of autism acquisition; the deployment of the National Guard to park maintenance service; the hit show Love Island; the start-and-stop work on Alligator Alcatraz; and Kawhi Leonard's no-show endorsement deal. In the return of How Many Four Horsemen, we take on the end-of-the-world-increasing influence of events in Iran, the Gaza Riveria, and the new Pope's first canonization.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Thu, 01 May 2025 21:58:00 +0000

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Ep 22 - Turnt or Burnt: Spring Round-Up

Cross Vegas, LLC — Wed, 23 Apr 2025 19:39:00 +0000

In an all-Turnt or Burnt episode, our heroes of the faithosphere Rudy and TJ give their hot, cool, or cold takes on a record number of timely topics for today's cultural Christian warrior: The return of ISIS, A1 or AI recommended by the Secretary of Education, the new Space Force anthem, Raygun: The Musical, Taco Bell, the $5 million Gold Card immigration program, trad-wife influencer Patriarchy Hannah, the DEI problem in biodiversity, the end of USAID, the end of Murder Hornets, the Menendez Brothers' re-sentencing, and Paula White's new $1,000 buy-up for additional spiritual services from God.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 23:41:00 +0000

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Ep 21 - Sleighing in the Spirit

Cross Vegas, LLC — Tue, 24 Dec 2024 21:29:00 +0000

Christmas has returned to Las Vegas! Rudy and TJ prepare for a Christmas pageant like no one has ever seen before, after discovering a new key to unlocking biblical interpretation. In Turnt or Burnt, what better topic than classic Christmas movies to declare good or bad (hint: they are all good, since they popularize Christmas)? In an exclusive new segment, Rudy and TJ offer last-minute gift-buying guidance to their listeners. © 2024 Cross Vegas

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Sun, 01 Dec 2024 15:23:00 +0000

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Ep 20 - America ReaMAGAned

Cross Vegas, LLC — Thu, 28 Nov 2024 22:28:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ reflect on the second coming of Christ - er, the re-election of Donald Trump. They imagine new and better roles for themselves to play in a new and better federal government. In Turnt or Burnt, topics include the retirement of Raygun, the musical reinvention of Mark Zuckerberg, international travel tips for people carrying spiders and centipedes, the UK's 30,000 lbs cheddar cheese heist, the Tropicana Hotel demolition, the Oklahoma public school's Bible selection, and the Kendrick Lamar / Drake beef.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Tue, 01 Oct 2024 12:45:00 +0000

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Ep 19 - HolyFans

Cross Vegas, LLC — Sun, 15 Sep 2024 14:39:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ introduce a new, more intimate, option for membership in the Cross Vegas ministry: HolyFans. In Turnt or Burnt, our heroes of faith give a movie preview of the Passion of the Christ 2: Resurrection, provide some push-back to Greg Locke's autism-demonization connection, give a history lesson about the Clovis people, talk about the downsides of high-speed rail, celebrate what famously Christian dictator Nicholas Maduro is doing to elevate Christmas, and reveal a new hope for religious freedom in Europe. How Many Four Horsemen registers some low-to-moderate risks for the end of the world; namely: weight-loss drugs, UFC events in the Las Vegas Sphere, and the Trump/Harris presidential debate.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Thu, 08 Aug 2024 21:45:00 +0000

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Ep 18 - Wyld Samarytyns

Cross Vegas, LLC — Thu, 01 Aug 2024 20:39:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ plot their long-awaited return to Christian movie-making stardom, with a pitch for a series which in no way imitates anything they just watched the day before. In Turnt or Burnt, our wizards of otherworldly wisdom dispense multi-directional opinions on all aspects of 2024 Olympic Games. How Many Four Horsemen takes a sober turn as our hosts deal with the assassination attempt on Trump, Harris replacing Biden in the race for president, and new rumors of alien sightings.

Ep 17 - Sword-Swallowers for Christ

Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 10 May 2024 21:39:00 +0000

With a newsfeed filled to overflowing, Rudy and TJ dive right in to the endtimes-sensitive current events in How Many Four Horsemen, and the endtimes-insensitive current events in Turnt or Burnt. Our heroes of the faith opine and malign their way through topics such as the eclipse, Jesse Duplantis, partisan earthquakes, generative AI depictions of Jesus, the Trump Bible, the sword-swallower at a Christian men's conference, Beyonce's country album, Joe Rogan's Ezekiel-was-on-drugs claim, John Eastman and Rudy Giuliani's disbarment, a record-breaking covid shot receiver, and the impending doom of Tik Tok.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Tue, 27 Feb 2024 12:40:00 +0000

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Ep 16 - Super Holy Sunday: Glory Bowl Edition

Cross Vegas, LLC — Mon, 12 Feb 2024 14:11:00 +0000

Following in the tradition of all great megachurches, Cross Vegas is the site for an evangelistic Super Bowl party like none other. In Turnt or Burnt, Rudy and TJ explore the spiritual dimensions of Kanye West's new grill, a pastor's crypto scam on his own congregation, the Oscar nominees for best picture, and modern seafaring pirates.

Ep 15 - Holy Ghost Haunted House

Cross Vegas, LLC — Tue, 31 Oct 2023 15:48:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ fight the culture war on its hottest front: Halloween. What will it take to win this holiday back for Christ? A robust set of biblical scares, they figure. In Holy Ghosted, listeners' unanswered prayers about Taylor Swift and sports gambling abound - and resound with our hosts' own unrequited concerns. In Turnt or Burnt, topics getting the televanfluencer treatment this month include: Stars on Mars, FTX, Grok.ai, and the Las Vegas Sphere.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Sat, 30 Sep 2023 20:52:00 +0000

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Ep 14 - Jesus Christ VR Superstar

Cross Vegas, LLC — Sat, 09 Sep 2023 14:18:00 +0000

Taking advantage of new generative AI technologies and the popularity of video games, Rudy and TJ design a new virtual reality Jesus simulator to reach the masses with the message. In How Many Four Horsemen, our heroes estimate the lateness of the apocalyptic hour as evidenced by the popularity of Christian drag performers. In Turnt or Burnt, they provide hot takes on the upcoming Mark Zuckerberg / Elon Musk cage fight, the Women's World Cup, Tiger Woods' new business venture, and the realignment of college football conferences.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Sat, 02 Sep 2023 18:58:00 +0000

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Ep 13 - Turnt or Burnt with Dusty

Cross Vegas, LLC — Sat, 17 Jun 2023 15:25:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ welcome their first guest, noted alien aficionado Dusty [Last Name Redacted], to a special episode-length Turnt or Burnt roundtable, outside in the cicada-infested Las Vegas summer air. Topics include the Canadian wildfires, the Colosseum vandal, Instagram Threads, and the odd behavior of killer whales.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 31 Mar 2023 15:50:00 +0000

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Ep 12 - Catholarchy

Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 15:15:00 +0000

TJ admits a mistake: Catholics still exist, and they have great ideas for ruling America. What parts of Catholic Integralism should be implemented in Las Vegas? In How Many Four Horsemen, Rudy and TJ tackle the Cocaine Bear, ChatGPT, and the Chinese Spy balloon (all from a safe distance). In Turnt or Burnt, our spiritual guides introduce a new hero of the movement, George Santos. M&Ms candy cancellation and yet another professional sports team moving to Las Vegas round out the segment.

Ep 11 - Minor League Prophets

Cross Vegas, LLC — Sun, 25 Dec 2022 07:34:00 +0000

Financial circumstances being what they are, a baseball-crazed Rudy and TJ seek fortune and glory the ol' fashioned way: Plundering the Middle East for sportswashing bucks. In Turnt or Burnt, the guys' old pal Kanye West is in the news, Elon Musk has bought Twitter, and a new generation of the Tolkien entertainment empire is born with the release of Rings of Power. In How Many Four Horsemen, Rudy and TJ struggle with the rebranding of Monkeypox, and with a true rival both to Las Vegas and the to heavenly city itself: Monaco.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 18 Nov 2022 18:37:00 +0000

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Ep 10 - Healthful Faithcare

Cross Vegas, LLC — Sun, 21 Aug 2022 03:08:00 +0000

Our holy scrollin' heroes form a healthcare cost-sharing ministry to meet the demand for libertarian lifestyle-supportive coverage for performance enhancement of all varieties. In How Many Four Horsemen, flooding of biblical proportions has occurred in Las Vegas and at the Creation Museum. Which, if either, is a sign that the end is near? In Turnt or Burnt, Rudy and TJ opine on Sean Fuchts' MAGA hymns and inappropriate last name, Michael Flynn's ideas on the (parental) relationship between the Bible and Constitution, Bishop Lamar Whitehead's on-air church livestream jewelry theft, and the busing of migrants to Martha's Vinyard and Washington, DC.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 12 Aug 2022 18:32:00 +0000

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Ep 9 - How Many Four Horsemen

Cross Vegas, LLC — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 14:32:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ dip their toe into the mainstream of fringe Christianty by starting a new segment dealing with the End Times. In How Many Four Horsemen, they ask the real questions about the return of Christ: Is the blockchain like the Lamb's Book of Life? Is the Rapture-Ready Index a useful tool for knowing what to wear that day? The guys also report on their work as City Councilors, including the possibility of a Hyperloop tunnel, making Cross Vegas a Pokémon Go gym, and better supporting the work of Elvis impersonators. In Turnt or Burnt, our heroes give their unique brand of commentary on Monkeypox, politically-correct professional sport team name changes, the Jesus' Feet eau de parfum, the He Gets Us ad campaign, and the possibility of a White History Month.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Wed, 09 Feb 2022 16:56:00 +0000

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Ep 8 - Right-Ins

Cross Vegas, LLC — Tue, 08 Feb 2022 14:45:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ celebrate their surprise city council election victory, and recount their not-at-all fraudulent methods for registering unlikely voters. In Holy Ghosted, our hosts describe new fields of ministry opportunity in the streaming video game influencer universe. In Turnt or Burnt, Rudy and TJ do their own research on "flamers," Squid Game, Critical Race Theory, and deregulation of pharmaceuticals in other countries. As a bonus to listeners, the prayer-bots are given a new task: using artificial intelligence to create hymns of the future, one of which they debut for audiences at the end of this episode.

Ep 7 - Roadrunners

Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 29 Oct 2021 01:31:00 +0000

From a temporary off-site location, Rudy and TJ describe the political platform they will be using in the upcoming municipal election in Las Vegas, as they decide that raw power is the only way Cross Vegas will ever accomplish its ministry goals. In Holy Ghosted, the guys give testimony to the power of the automated prayer bots, as well as take listener questions about unanswered prayers for John Gruden, Gene Simmons, and progress through the multiple tiers of Olympic competition. In Turnt or Burnt, our hosts address Juneteenth, a modern-day Jonah and the whale, online sports betting, and the upcoming release of the Barbie & Ken movie.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 22:28:00 +0000

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Ep 6 - Native America First

Cross Vegas, LLC — Wed, 01 Sep 2021 01:20:00 +0000

Cross Vegas hosts a religious freedom conference that attracts different sorts of folks than the guys anticipated, with horizon-expanding results. In Holy Ghosted, Rudy and TJ address listeners' unaswered prayers about UFOs. In Turnt or Burnt, the guys discuss satanic shoes, puppet- and cartoon-related cancel culture, and vaccine passports.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Tue, 22 Jun 2021 22:32:00 +0000

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Ep 5 - Daylight Salvation Time

Cross Vegas, LLC — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 01:02:00 +0000

Like Elijah challenging the prophets of Ba'al, Rudy and TJ challenge the magicians of Las Vegas to a showdown of spiritual power. In Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time, the guys push back against proposed changes to Daylight Savings Time. In Holy Ghosted, listeners get answers to their unanswered prayers about border walls and the end of the world.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Wed, 12 May 2021 16:34:00 +0000

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Ep 4 - CyberSects

Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 23 Apr 2021 12:52:00 +0000

The Cross Vegas ministry gets into crypto, for all the right reasons. Automated prayer bots also come on line, powered by purchases of said cryptocurrency. Rudy and TJ get catphished by the same spambot, but still hire "her" as a publicist. In Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time, the guys give an update on their progress with vaccines. In Trunt or Burnt, our hosts treat the audience to profound insights on mistakes the Pope is making on Instagram, the deeper meaning of the golden idol of Donald Trump at the CPAC event, and Dunkin Donuts' #Cheersin marketing.

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Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 26 Mar 2021 22:25:00 +0000

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Ep 3 - Crystal Methodist

Cross Vegas, LLC — Thu, 25 Mar 2021 12:38:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ describe what Cross Vegas is now (tents in an abandoned lot) and what it will be (the best thing ever). They also discover that they're not the only game in town. Rival ministries battle for the same spiritual turf in Las Vegas. In Turnt or Burnt, our televanfluencer heroes give their hot takes on Britney Spears, vaccines, and the phrase "Going HAM." In Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time, Rudy and TJ give a biblical teaching on how to gamble in the Spirit.

Ep 2 - Anointed Appointment

Cross Vegas, LLC — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 03:30:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ share how they met, how they saved each others' lives after almost killing each other, and the ministries they left in order to start Cross Vegas. In Turnt or Burnt, the guys tackle the Las Vegas Raiders, the use of the suffix "AF," and Elvis impersonator-officiated weddings. In Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time, Rudy and TJ discuss their (lack of or unverified, respectively) involvement in the January 6th Capitol riot.

Ep 1 - She-Bears

Cross Vegas, LLC — Fri, 13 Nov 2020 09:01:00 +0000

Rudy and TJ start their adventure as televanfluencers with a stinging takedown of Las Vegas city government regulations against biblically-correct, but anatomically-exaggerated bronze animal statues. Segments include Holy Ghosted (answering your unanswered prayers), and Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time (attempting to vote in the 2020 election).