raising the curtins

221. i will protect you, at all costs

raising the curtins — Thu, 09 Apr 2026 00:51:58 +0000

Kristina goes back to the bedroom floor where she spent her childhood protecting everyone but herself. This week, she shares a breakthrough from therapy about ‘re-parenting’ the little girl inside and why the survival skill of ‘saving yourself’ might be holding your adult relationships hostage. Grab the tissues; this is an unfiltered dive into the difference between forgiving and truly healing.

220. bitter sweet hormonal symphony

raising the curtins — Sun, 08 Mar 2026 02:27:14 +0000

I almost ended my 30-year relationship over a double-sided, syrupy lollipop. In this episode, I’m getting raw about the “whoremones” and the reality of perimenopause symptoms that nobody warns you about—specifically, the cold, analytical “Lawyer” that takes over your brain and detaches you from your heart. We’re talking about: If you’ve ever felt like a stranger in your own body or wondered why your marriage suddenly feels like a court case, this one is for you.

219. ai mom

raising the curtins — Sat, 21 Feb 2026 03:17:33 +0000

Is AI taking over the world? Maybe. But for now, it’s helping Kristina Curtin plan for college, analyze real estate, and save her from the ‘meeting time suck.’ Tune in to hear how to embrace the dark side and make AI your most productive family member.

218. tick tick

raising the curtins — Sun, 08 Feb 2026 01:13:12 +0000

Vince is like a bomb—usually, he’s just ticking, but tonight he actually caught himself on fire. Between the literal flames and a daughter who isn’t afraid to point out a double standard, our dinner table became a masterclass in resiliency. In this episode, I’m reading through the chaos of the ‘man bomb’ dynamic, the silence before the explosion, and why a little ‘light emotional damage’ might be exactly what the kids need. Pull up a chair (but maybe stay away from the stove).

217. one flu over the cuckoo's nest

raising the curtins — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 01:47:14 +0000

What happens when a Type A mom who ‘never gets sick’ meets a household full of fluids, boogers, and a 5-year-old Patient Zero? You get the most productive flu week in history. Join Kristina as she navigates the holiday epidemic and finds a rare moment of stillness in the chaos

216. pen pals

raising the curtins — Tue, 09 Dec 2025 09:56:18 +0000

Watching my daughters date in the age of Snapchat and location tracking makes me miss the old days. Is technology killing romance? I think so. My brain spiral on the subject leds me to a new idea for a dating show.

215. dick granny

raising the curtins — Sat, 08 Nov 2025 11:30:20 +0000

I usually adore old ladies. They’re bold, unfiltered, and make great cookies. But every now and then, you meet one who’s just… a dick. While out shopping with my toddler, I ran into one of those passive-aggressive grannies—the kind who hides judgment behind a smile and thinks she’s helping.

214. parkour decor

raising the curtins — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 10:18:19 +0000

I tried to make my living room look like adults live here — you know, end tables, matching lamps, maybe a whiff of “HGTV energy.” It actually worked… for a while. Then one lamp met its death by blanket, and the other was taken out by my 5-year-old doing Spider-Man parkour across the couch. Now both are gone and my living room’s darker. I will never live in a showroom — I live in a house of play, laughter, and memories.

213. rollercoaster of love

raising the curtins — Mon, 29 Sep 2025 11:02:10 +0000

Kristina reflects on the emotional whiplash of raising her 14-year-old daughter, Scarlett. From crying in the car after being pushed away at her first dance to soaking up surprise snuggles the next morning, she captures the rollercoaster of parenting teens with humor, honesty, and hard-earned perspective.

212. boxed house

raising the curtins — Wed, 17 Sep 2025 10:39:20 +0000

Cardboard boxes were great childhood memories for me and I wanted to pass along this tradition of using your imagination with my two younger kids.

211. early bird

raising the curtins — Thu, 11 Sep 2025 11:01:33 +0000

If you’re not early, you’re late… but is two hours early a bit overkill? Kristina dives into the mental load of managing a 6-person household, the ‘parent math’ required to get out of the house, and why she refuses to feel guilty about the occasional scheduling snafu.”

210. if you like it then you better put a ring on it

raising the curtins — Fri, 22 Aug 2025 11:16:31 +0000

Kristina takes Dublin, her unruly dog, to the vet for his shot, only to get more than she bargained for—a stranger asking if she’s single. What followed was a spiral of awkwardness, self-reflection, and gratitude for the marriage she has, even if Vince sniffs his laundry before wearing it and starts a dozen projects he never finishes. With sharp wit, she explores the absurdity of midlife dating, why her empty ring finger gave the wrong signal, and the deep comfort of a decades-long relationship.

209. basic girl

raising the curtins — Fri, 15 Aug 2025 17:18:18 +0000

When your teen’s back-to-school prep screams “rich sorority girl energy,” you just nod, sip your coffee, and call her your basic girl.

208. hallmark birthday

raising the curtins — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 10:35:56 +0000

Recounting how my daughter’s 14th birthday went from pancakes to inappropriate in the matter of minutes.

207. inconvenient shit

raising the curtins — Sun, 06 Jul 2025 10:38:04 +0000

A funny, unfiltered mom blog post on the inconvenient truth of potty training toddlers. Real stories, real laughs, and way too much poop talk.

206. to pee or to piss, that is the question

raising the curtins — Wed, 25 Jun 2025 20:26:23 +0000

A reminder that sometimes with bed-wetting kids, all you can do is laugh (after you change the sheets).

205. dear feminism, you didn't make it equal

raising the curtins — Fri, 13 Jun 2025 11:19:48 +0000

Reflecting on how the feminist movement, while empowering in many ways, also made it harder for women who didn’t want to “have it all.” What about the moms who just want to be moms?

204. a night about safety

raising the curtins — Wed, 14 May 2025 16:35:56 +0000

This raw, vulnerable post examines the painful irony of trying to protect our kids from screen time dangers while they silently fear the physical ones we can’t shield them from.

203. no sex buffet

raising the curtins — Sat, 03 May 2025 08:58:26 +0000

When your preschooler asks why her sister can’t sleep with her boyfriend, and you’re not ready for any of it. Welcome to parenting with an age gap.

202. finna get lit on good friday

raising the curtins — Wed, 16 Apr 2025 15:31:57 +0000

Good Friday is literally the antithesis to Black Friday. A day of fasting and penance to reflect on the day Jesus was crucified, and my child thought it was a day to score some sweet sales.

201. riddle me this batman

raising the curtins — Mon, 14 Apr 2025 15:57:51 +0000

Recounting my first trivia night experience.

200. guilt lightning

raising the curtins — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 10:44:53 +0000

A bedtime standoff with my 4-year-old over watching heat lightning causes me to reflect on my behavior as a mother.

199. reflections

raising the curtins — Tue, 01 Apr 2025 17:43:29 +0000

I used to see my kids as a reflection of me. Like how they looked somehow proved my worth as a parent. But now I know better. They’re not an extension of me. They’re their own people.

198. telepathy

raising the curtins — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 11:17:47 +0000

My independent toddler isn’t one for morning snuggles. But on this day, she pulled me close and wouldn’t let go—and in that hug, I swear, she told me something without saying a word.

197. outside the circles

raising the curtins — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 16:36:47 +0000

I have a complicated relationship with Scholastic Book Fairs.

196. bi school pride

raising the curtins — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:51:16 +0000

School choice in Florida is great but can also cause confusion when your kids play for rival schools.

195. she got graped

raising the curtins — Sat, 01 Feb 2025 12:07:00 +0000

My 13 year old grape addict daughter gets attacked by her 4 year old sister.

194. jaded

raising the curtins — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 10:11:00 +0000

Feeling just meh and wondering if what I am doing for the past 6 years has been a total waste of time.

193. it's a family thing

raising the curtins — Sat, 04 Jan 2025 10:39:57 +0000

Parenting gets complicated again when your kid has a serious relationship.

192. sweaty wafers

raising the curtins — Mon, 16 Dec 2024 10:06:15 +0000

Ever tried passing around sweaty wafers before Christmas dinner? Sounds odd, but it’s an old family tradition I am going to revive.

191. i wanna be sedated

raising the curtins — Tue, 03 Dec 2024 10:45:04 +0000

Watching your child go under sedation hits differently when the past comes rushing in. A routine surgery turned into an emotional gut punch, and I wasn’t ready for it.

190. the gobble guide

raising the curtins — Sun, 24 Nov 2024 11:12:10 +0000

From cooking schedules to recipes, meet ‘The Gobble Guide’—my Thanksgiving survival planner that’s part meal prep and part sentimental time capsule. Organized AF, because that’s what we need during the holidays.

189. last but not least

raising the curtins — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 09:41:59 +0000

My reflection on having a child that the doctors/parenting books always write about. Who knew these unicorns actually existed?!

188. sounds like asshole to me

raising the curtins — Fri, 08 Nov 2024 09:55:03 +0000

I didn’t just spend eons recording my own voice to be told I sound like I’m reading Goodnight, Moon… but here we are.

187. a handy quote

raising the curtins — Sat, 02 Nov 2024 11:32:11 +0000

October’s Quiz brings a win for Vince with a questionable prize request.

186. something about feet

raising the curtins — Sat, 26 Oct 2024 10:15:55 +0000

Me over here still trying to inspire my family with quotes. So far, I’m mostly failing.

185. after the storm

raising the curtins — Mon, 14 Oct 2024 10:43:26 +0000

How I’m navigating the emotional debris of Hurricane Milton, from anxiety to unexpected moments of normalcy amidst the mess.

184. i've never done this before (a hurricane prep story)

raising the curtins — Mon, 07 Oct 2024 10:18:20 +0000

Prepping for Hurricane Milton turns into a memorable experience that involves public displays of married arguments and temporary blindness.

183. hangry gremlin

raising the curtins — Tue, 01 Oct 2024 11:30:06 +0000

After all these years with Vince, I’ve come to accept most of his quirks—except his daily ritual of starving himself to the point of hangriness. Seriously, the man acts like food doesn’t exist until he’s seconds away from a meltdown. In this post, I break down his Gremlins-level transformation from sweet husband to raging beast—all because he skipped lunch again. Spoiler: it only takes one sandwich to turn him back into a lovable human. But until then… duck and cover folks!

182. genitals and dinnerware

raising the curtins — Thu, 19 Sep 2024 10:08:49 +0000

Scarlett and I both got served up with some TMI to the ears on an early car ride to school.

181. peasant butter

raising the curtins — Sat, 14 Sep 2024 10:05:11 +0000

My husband has a super power in that he can make anything about sex. Even butter.

180. faulty fridges and silent f bombs

raising the curtins — Tue, 10 Sep 2024 10:02:00 +0000

The hilarious struggle of watching my husband suppress his anger.

179. the words you speak will live forever

raising the curtins — Sun, 25 Aug 2024 10:00:17 +0000

My efforts to inspire my family go unnoticed and it pissed me off. So, I decided to do something about it.

178. circles of safety

raising the curtins — Wed, 21 Aug 2024 09:58:00 +0000

Tense moments of helplessness when I thought my 13 year old daughter was abducted from soccer practice.

177. hard work

raising the curtins — Tue, 13 Aug 2024 10:29:00 +0000

My teenager seriously needs to reevaluate what she thinks “hard work” is.

176. lifesavers

raising the curtins — Wed, 07 Aug 2024 10:28:05 +0000

A date night that includes a call from 911 that my daughter choked while I wasn’t home.

175. no serial for you

raising the curtins — Thu, 01 Aug 2024 10:26:00 +0000

When my kid thinks the Dahmer Tapes are funny and I have to decide if that’s a red flag.

174. my reasons why

raising the curtins — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 10:19:00 +0000

A reminder for why I do what I do. It’s not for attention. It’s not for views. It’s for much more.

173. name that candy

raising the curtins — Fri, 26 Jul 2024 10:17:00 +0000

Despite years of shoveling these cylinders diabetes inducing shapes into their mouths, my kids had no idea what their favorite candy was actually called.

172. homesick

raising the curtins — Sat, 20 Jul 2024 10:17:00 +0000

Trying not to be a main character when my daughter misses her grandmother more than she did me. You know, the woman that gave birth to her!?

171. stray thoughts

raising the curtins — Tue, 16 Jul 2024 10:16:00 +0000

My empathetic ways started young.

170. joy is pushing my buttons

raising the curtins — Mon, 15 Jul 2024 10:14:00 +0000

Why I don’t think there is a more epic animated film than Inside Out.

169. shitty snuggles

raising the curtins — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 10:11:00 +0000

My normally non-snuggling baby finally decides she will cuddle with me, after a full-court press out in her diaper.

168. family time on the fringe

raising the curtins — Sun, 16 Jun 2024 10:07:00 +0000

A good time is any time I get to make cock jokes.

167. the chokey

raising the curtins — Fri, 07 Jun 2024 10:05:00 +0000

A necklace around the neck is not a noose. Chill TF out, Karen.

166. dildoes, drugs, and other d's

raising the curtins — Tue, 28 May 2024 09:52:00 +0000

A wholesome, beard game gets raunchy thanks to the minds of my my family.

165. i'm gonna wreck it

raising the curtins — Mon, 20 May 2024 09:50:00 +0000

Why do I constantly break shit?

163. no more pick me girl

raising the curtins — Thu, 18 Apr 2024 09:39:00 +0000

Yes, the woman that writes and talks about vasectomies and pubic hair is also a children’s book writer who is having a hard time getting published. Go figure.

162. showers in solitude

raising the curtins — Sun, 10 Mar 2024 09:36:00 +0000

A not-talked-about reason why moms need alone time.

161. you're not going to break down

raising the curtins — Wed, 14 Feb 2024 10:40:00 +0000

It’s a rite of passage to experience the heart-pounding anxiety of a near-empty tank.

160. house tours suck

raising the curtins — Wed, 31 Jan 2024 10:38:00 +0000

While I enjoy touring other people’s homes, showcasing my chaotic, half-decorated space is a nightmare.

159. baby anorexia

raising the curtins — Mon, 22 Jan 2024 10:36:00 +0000

Having an easy baby isn’t always a blessing. For me, it almost caused my daughter to die.

158. how can people afford this

raising the curtins — Sun, 07 Jan 2024 10:34:00 +0000

My unfiltered take on Florida’s skyrocketing housing market and related expenses that is making life unaffordable.

157. dream the impossible wet dream

raising the curtins — Mon, 18 Dec 2023 10:32:00 +0000

Post-vasectomy expectations are a damn joke.

156. locked door

raising the curtins — Thu, 14 Dec 2023 11:23:00 +0000

My attempt to shield my kids (or anyone for that matter) that doesn’t want all the TMI about my married life.

155. baby it's cold outside

raising the curtins — Fri, 08 Dec 2023 11:22:00 +0000

Must everything be offensive?

154. this is a season

raising the curtins — Sat, 25 Nov 2023 11:19:00 +0000

That time again where I freak out about my responsibilities as a mother and full time employee.

153. watch yo mouth

raising the curtins — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 10:10:00 +0000

My teenager was suspended from school for something she said, and in the end, I was actually proud of her.

152. don't shoot up my baby

raising the curtins — Fri, 27 Oct 2023 10:09:00 +0000

My daughter was struggling back to health and all the doc wants to do is shoot her up with vaccinations.

151. take me to church

raising the curtins — Mon, 23 Oct 2023 10:07:00 +0000

Signed my girls up for a church ceremony, but was slapped in the face with a ‘belief agreement’ that didn’t align with mine.

150. my dad is dead

raising the curtins — Sun, 08 Oct 2023 10:05:00 +0000

How do you grieve someone you never really had? When my father passed, I didn’t feel loss; I felt the weight of a lifetime spent without him. And maybe that’s ok.

149. three inches is big

raising the curtins — Sat, 30 Sep 2023 10:03:00 +0000

Trying to explain ride height limits backfires because my husband only has 3 things on his mind.

148. you don't like fish, asshole

raising the curtins — Fri, 22 Sep 2023 10:01:00 +0000

Ever warn your kid not to do something and secretly hope they’ll learn the hard way?

147. post-partum

raising the curtins — Thu, 21 Sep 2023 09:56:00 +0000

Newborn at home, toddler on a rampage, a suspicious husband, and zero time to breathe.

146. finding the g spot

raising the curtins — Sat, 16 Sep 2023 09:53:00 +0000

When your kid’s school parking spot practically begs for an inappropriate label, do you keep it to yourself? Not this mom.

145. book amnesia

raising the curtins — Wed, 30 Aug 2023 09:51:00 +0000

Ever started a book, only to realize halfway through that you’ve been there, done that….with zero recollection of the ending?

144. you are not like me

raising the curtins — Fri, 25 Aug 2023 10:27:00 +0000

A therapy post to remember that not everyone is like you, and you shouldn’t lose your shit over it.

143. hail rosemary, full of grace

raising the curtins — Fri, 18 Aug 2023 10:22:00 +0000

Catholics might not appreciate how my 16 year old is turning out.

142. a ruined moment in the kitchen

raising the curtins — Fri, 18 Aug 2023 10:19:00 +0000

Preggo hormones make you irritable, and I received unexpected compassion from my daughter when I ruined a special moment.

141. magic pee

raising the curtins — Fri, 04 Aug 2023 10:15:00 +0000

A simple, yet effective, method to get your kid to go to the bathroom even when they insist they “don’t have to go.”

140. mom would

raising the curtins — Fri, 23 Jun 2023 10:09:00 +0000

When your teenager breaks the rules because they know you would have too.

139. hotel catfish

raising the curtins — Mon, 05 Jun 2023 10:06:00 +0000

A stunning atrium leads you to a hotel room from hell.

138. always been dumped

raising the curtins — Tue, 30 May 2023 09:58:00 +0000

My teenager is teaching me life lessons now as I experience the emotional side of being the dumper, instead of the dumpee.

137. not done brewing

raising the curtins — Wed, 17 May 2023 09:54:00 +0000

My teenager thinks she’s done learning/growing and I have some news for her.

136. holes, hearts, and things

raising the curtins — Sun, 30 Apr 2023 09:52:00 +0000

From missing eyeballs to a tiny heart hole, my latest sonogram took me on an emotional rollercoaster thanks to a shitty doctor.

135. plucking moron

raising the curtins — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 09:49:00 +0000

My epiphany that I’m the problem with my eyebrow growth. I’m the plucking moron.

134. doing something is better than nothing

raising the curtins — Thu, 30 Mar 2023 10:07:00 +0000

A text from my daughter about a school lockdown brought me to tears on the side of the road. It’s time for something to change.

133. you're still alive

raising the curtins — Mon, 27 Mar 2023 10:06:00 +0000

Caring for a senior pet makes you have dark thoughts.

132. mole mole

raising the curtins — Sun, 12 Mar 2023 10:03:00 +0000

When your dermatologist’s office looks more like a pop-up shop for Narcan distribution than a reputable place you’d get checked for skin cancer.

131. i hate pretend play

raising the curtins — Sun, 26 Feb 2023 11:15:00 +0000

I’d rather clean a shitty toilet than pretend to be a dinosaur.

130. stroganoff for dinner

raising the curtins — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 11:13:00 +0000

Family dinners at my house are never boring, like this night when we talk about handies.

129. don't make the clock, work

raising the curtins — Fri, 17 Feb 2023 11:10:00 +0000

My daughter challenges my classic way of telling time that is likely dying with my generation.

128. never accept free slime

raising the curtins — Tue, 07 Feb 2023 11:07:00 +0000

Always question why something is free. There’s a reason.

127. strawberry hugs

raising the curtins — Sat, 28 Jan 2023 11:04:00 +0000

Simple joys and unexpected connections make an ordinary outing picking berries feel even more special.

126. i'm a winer

raising the curtins — Wed, 25 Jan 2023 10:54:00 +0000

Reflecting on my long history and habits with alcohol.

125. save the date

raising the curtins — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 10:55:00 +0000

Days go by. Like a hot breath on a cold window, they are hear and then gone before you know it. I’ve found a way to save my days and I’m sharing it here.

124. the last nugget

raising the curtins — Mon, 02 Jan 2023 10:52:00 +0000

Shit’s getting real now. I’m pregnant and wondering why all I’m feeling is worry instead of joy.

123. dancing in the kitchen

raising the curtins — Mon, 26 Dec 2022 10:50:00 +0000

There’s just something about the Christmas season and a clean house that brings out the magic in life.

122. something about mary

raising the curtins — Wed, 14 Dec 2022 17:24:00 +0000

The most unusual encounter I’ve ever had at Sam’s Club.

121. god damn doorknob

raising the curtins — Thu, 08 Dec 2022 17:22:00 +0000

Kids are horrible, little creatures that take away all your dignity.

120. fluids

raising the curtins — Fri, 02 Dec 2022 17:20:00 +0000

As a mom, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t end up with other people’s bodily fluids on me. And I have to be OK with that.

119. empty net

raising the curtins — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 17:18:00 +0000

Pulling the goalie and trying for a 4th child. I might be fucking nuts.

118. nightmares and pop pops

raising the curtins — Sat, 19 Nov 2022 17:16:00 +0000

My toddler’s first nightmare is about someone eating all her popsicles.

117. bleachy baby

raising the curtins — Tue, 08 Nov 2022 17:14:00 +0000

The time my husband thought I poisoned our child…just so she would sleep.

116. poo phone

raising the curtins — Mon, 07 Nov 2022 12:02:00 +0000

What’s worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? How about your toddler dropping it in the toilet while they are taking a crap? Yup, that’ll do.

115. pressure 'til you go pop

raising the curtins — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 10:59:00 +0000

After a fight with my husband, Vince, I realize I’m a really shitty partner and that needs to change.

114. no blueberries at bedtime

raising the curtins — Mon, 17 Oct 2022 10:44:00 +0000

My power struggles with a two year old – this is why God made them cute.

113. october 10, 2022

raising the curtins — Wed, 12 Oct 2022 10:44:00 +0000

Just another day filled with parenting chaos, hilarity, and one sweet unforgettable moment.

112. hello

raising the curtins — Thu, 06 Oct 2022 10:41:00 +0000

Sometimes a hiatus from sharing myself is needed.

111. redding up my mind

raising the curtins — Mon, 03 Oct 2022 10:39:00 +0000

I likely have unresolved issues with my childhood that I’ve been avoiding. Time for therapy? Not sure.

110. the real reel

raising the curtins — Mon, 26 Sep 2022 10:30:00 +0000

The contrast between real life and what’s shared on social media and the time I misled everyone with a sleeping picture of Evie.

109. growing up poor

raising the curtins — Wed, 14 Sep 2022 09:41:00 +0000

How my difficult childhood growing up poor shaped my life in both negative and positive ways.

108. the one that wasn't there

raising the curtins — Sun, 04 Sep 2022 09:39:00 +0000

Another moment of mom guilt when I wasn’t there for Gianna and I think I should have been.

107. the voices made me do it

raising the curtins — Tue, 30 Aug 2022 09:35:00 +0000

One small step towards maturity by listening to the voices in my head. Totally normal.

106. you're trash

raising the curtins — Sat, 27 Aug 2022 11:32:00 +0000

The time my neighbor caught me throwing trash in their immaculately clean garbage can.

105. too terrible two's

raising the curtins — Wed, 24 Aug 2022 09:50:00 +0000

Motherhood burnout is so real. The realities of parenting a 2-year-old and the frustrations it brings are captured in my most recent experience post about Evie.

104. sharts and underwear

raising the curtins — Sat, 20 Aug 2022 09:47:00 +0000

You would have thought I’d learned my lesson about not having my toddler wear underwear….yet here we are again.

103. i became the holder of phones

raising the curtins — Sat, 30 Jul 2022 09:44:00 +0000

My role as a mother has shifted from being the holder of hands, to now the holder of phones.

102. a poo in the park

raising the curtins — Sun, 10 Jul 2022 09:42:00 +0000

Ah, nothing like a serene walk through the neighborhood, watching your toddler defile nature with her bowel movements.

101. why worry about wrinkles

raising the curtins — Tue, 28 Jun 2022 10:11:00 +0000

I don’t want to be caught up on my appearance, including my aging face. But sometimes, the wrinkles catch me.

100. tittie twisters

raising the curtins — Sun, 19 Jun 2022 10:07:00 +0000

Maybe there’s another reason mom’s stop nursing before the age of 2.

99. she calls me boobie in the morning

raising the curtins — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 10:32:00 +0000

My mornings are weird since they always start with my toddler yelling “boobie” like she is placing her breakfast order…because, she is.

98. a dad dream

raising the curtins — Sat, 21 May 2022 10:29:00 +0000

I have a complicated relationship with my dad and haven’t spoken to him in decades. So, when he popped up in a dream, I felt compelled to document it here.

97. moving on

raising the curtins — Sat, 30 Apr 2022 09:09:00 +0000

The emotional process of moving out of our family’s home and seeing the space where you spent the last 4 years of your life, completely empty.

96. lice, lice, baby

raising the curtins — Mon, 11 Apr 2022 09:06:00 +0000

That moment when you realize your itchy scalp for the past two weeks has not been dry skin.

95. i like warm hugs

raising the curtins — Sun, 03 Apr 2022 10:22:00 +0000

Bittersweet reality of parenting a teen, where they reject your hugs and crush your heart. But the next day, is a new day. Just hang on.

94. it's 2:30am

raising the curtins — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 10:19:00 +0000

The day I woke up when some people just went to bed. I didn’t do this on purpose.

93. 10 minutes on the toilet

raising the curtins — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 10:13:00 +0000

I recount the time I actually had time to myself during the day, away from my clingy 1-year old. Sure, my legs went numb, but those 10 minutes were glorious.

92. dry eyes

raising the curtins — Mon, 28 Feb 2022 11:09:00 +0000

When nostalgia sucker-punches you in the moments you least expect it. I found myself holding back tears during my daughter’s optometrist appointment, of all places.

91. one person changed my life

raising the curtins — Tue, 01 Feb 2022 10:51:00 +0000

Sometimes the people who change your life are the ones who never even knew they were auditioning for the part.

90. sweet baby genius

raising the curtins — Sun, 23 Jan 2022 10:48:00 +0000

Is my toddler a musical prodigy or are my standards just that low? Watching Evie sing along in the bath, I couldn’t help but wonder. Parenthood definitely has a way of making even the smallest moments feel genius… or maybe I just need more adult friends.

89. farm living is the life for me

raising the curtins — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 10:42:00 +0000

Our Christmas plans took a surprising turn when a farm became our holiday adventure! From petting pigs to harvesting veggies, we found peace in the dirt and sun, trading screen time for real life.

88. the biggest christmas

raising the curtins — Fri, 24 Dec 2021 11:25:00 +0000

I grew up with one Big Christmas. Just one. And it’s been haunting me ever since, shaping the way I approach Christmas with my kids. Do I overdo it? Is this year their last Big Christmas? Welcome to my annual holiday mind-wrestle where childhood scarcity meets modern-day parenting… but this year, I’m letting go of that fear and just embracing the joy.

87. we don't do date nights

raising the curtins — Sun, 12 Dec 2021 11:18:00 +0000

We don’t do date nights. Not because we’re too cool for them, but because, well, life. But after 20 years and 3 kids, we tried it out: dinner, axe throwing, and not talking about the kids for once. Spoiler: we survived.

86. multiply me

raising the curtins — Tue, 23 Nov 2021 11:12:00 +0000

Ever wish you could clone yourself to be everywhere at once? Yeah, me too.

85. killing creativity on kid at a time

raising the curtins — Sat, 06 Nov 2021 10:07:00 +0000

Why does school sometimes feel like a creativity-killer? When my daughter Scarlett came home upset because her teacher criticized her unique writing style in front of the class, I was furious. Why do we box kids in and force them to conform? Let’s talk about how rigid standards can squash creativity and why we need more room for imagination in our classrooms.

84. mother of the year

raising the curtins — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 10:17:00 +0000

Are you a parent who sometimes feels like you’re barely holding it together? Same here. In my latest post, I’m sharing my “Mother of the Year” moments—the times I definitely didn’t nail the whole parenting thing. From letting my kid eat hand sanitizer to approving a show I should’ve said no to (yep, it happened), this is the real, messy side of motherhood. If you’ve ever had a #momfail, trust me, you’re not alone. Let’s embrace the chaos together. ‍♀️

83. tiktok ain't all that bad

raising the curtins — Thu, 14 Oct 2021 10:11:00 +0000

TikTok… love it or hate it? I was firmly in the “hate it” camp—until my daughter pulled a fast one on me, using a TikTok persuasion trick to get herself a glass of orange juice at dinner. Turns out, TikTok might be teaching her more than I thought. This post is about how my 10-year-old schooled me with her negotiation skills—thanks to social media. Maybe TikTok isn’t all bad after all…

82. what if we were like peacocks

raising the curtins — Mon, 04 Oct 2021 10:50:00 +0000

Ever wondered why women have to do all the primping to look good? Kristina sure has! In this quick and funny post, she explores the idea of flipping beauty standards on their head—what if men had to be the pretty ones, like peacocks? Grab a seat at her vanity as she navigates makeup, motherhood, and why life would be so much easier if Vince had to keep her interested.

81. cheerleading is not a sport

raising the curtins — Tue, 28 Sep 2021 10:43:00 +0000

Is cheerleading a sport? Kristina’s take might ruffle some pom-poms! With a blend of humor and reflection, she dives into her high school days, when she cheered on the sidelines but wasn’t convinced it qualified as a sport. Listen to find out why she thinks traditional cheer is more about entertainment than athletics—unless it’s competitive cheer, of course.

80. perfect recipe for disaster

raising the curtins — Thu, 09 Sep 2021 10:40:00 +0000

What happens when you mix a competitive soccer tournament, a road trip, and an unpredictable toddler? A “perfect recipe for disaster”—or maybe not. This lighthearted look at managing family chaos on the road will leave you laughing, nodding, and wondering how moms keep it all together (hint: strategic use of snacks and…boobs).

79. we got covid

raising the curtins — Mon, 30 Aug 2021 10:35:00 +0000

Ever wonder how COVID hit a house full of girls (and one man with a “man flu” immune system)? Our family’s journey through mild symptoms, testing woes, and a side of dark humor may just make you rethink the pandemic’s impact on everyday life. Plus, a few thoughts on personal choice in the age of COVID.

78. mirror, mirror

raising the curtins — Mon, 23 Aug 2021 10:29:00 +0000

Ever feel like your biggest critic stares back at you from the mirror? In this raw and relatable post, I take a hard look at self-awareness, diving into the struggles of accepting the person reflected back at you. Join me as I share the messy truths about identity, self-doubt, and learning to give yourself grace. If you’ve ever battled that inner voice, this one’s for you—grab a seat and prepare to get real.

77. identity underwear

raising the curtins — Fri, 13 Aug 2021 10:26:00 +0000

Raising a child who reinvents herself every few months isn’t easy—especially when you’re the one footing the bill. From fashion overhauls to room redesigns, join me as I share the wild ride of Scarlett’s ever-changing identity (and my drained wallet) in this hilarious look at life with a middle child!

76. around here, every day is hump day

raising the curtins — Thu, 05 Aug 2021 10:19:00 +0000

Ever had your 1-year-old treat you like a blow up doll? Join me as I share a hilariously uncomfortable parenting confession that’ll leave you both laughing and reassured that you’re not alone in this weird world of motherhood.

75. paper flowers, ghosts, & guardian angels

raising the curtins — Thu, 29 Jul 2021 10:55:00 +0000

A simple day turns into a profound journey of connection, memory, and love. Join me as I share the serendipitous series of events that brought me face-to-face with my guardian angel—and a lesson I’ll never forget.

74. the message in luca

raising the curtins — Mon, 19 Jul 2021 10:49:00 +0000

Disney’s Luca may be a fun movie for kids, but it also has a powerful message for all of us. Find out how naming your inner voice can help you silence your doubts and start living fearlessly!

73. "bite"

raising the curtins — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 10:38:00 +0000

In “Bite,” Kristina Curtin recounts a frustrating legal and financial ordeal that began in February 2020 when her elderly dog, Coco, was accused of biting a woman while they were on a walk.

72. loosen up my buttons, baby

raising the curtins — Tue, 29 Jun 2021 10:31:00 +0000

In this hilarious and relatable post, Kristina shares her frustrations with various clothing items. She touches on functional issues that drive her nuts and through humor and exaggeration, she makes the everyday annoyances of dressing herself and her children a relatable experience.

71. why vacation isn't always fun

raising the curtins — Tue, 22 Jun 2021 10:25:00 +0000

In this candid and humorous post, Kristina shares her recent trip to Delray Beach, where she and her family visited relatives. However, the focus of the post quickly shifts to an unexpected and relatable topic.

70. maybe i shouldn't have bought an alligator

raising the curtins — Wed, 16 Jun 2021 10:23:00 +0000

I haven’t really posted about Evie’s sleeping patterns lately. Logical me knows that talking about Evie’s sleeping habits won’t change them. However, crazy-ass me has been holding strong and not saying shit about the fact that my child is now sleeping through the night. THERE! I SAID IT! LET THE SLEEPING GODS SMITE ME NOW!

69. might as well make a day of it

raising the curtins — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 10:17:00 +0000

We took a day trip to Sarasota. The main reason was to check out the model of the house we already bought. Yup, we signed and handed over a hefty deposit check, without ever actually seeing in person what the house looks like.

68. sunday afternoon is for strippers

raising the curtins — Sat, 22 May 2021 10:35:00 +0000

As a parent, I’m going to be direct and say that you should never allow a video service to autoplay anything for your kids. It’s like playing roulette with your eyeballs. I knew this about YouTube, but I realized recently that this applies to traditional TV as well.

67. snitches get stitches

raising the curtins — Fri, 07 May 2021 10:29:00 +0000

I feel pretty damn good about the parenting choices we’ve made so far. We’re not perfect but, like everyone, we are doing our best. However, this week I got thrown into a parenting gray area. A situation where I couldn’t really tell what the right thing to do in terms of being an honest person was. Here’s what happened.

66. half a million dollar house

raising the curtins — Fri, 30 Apr 2021 10:21:00 +0000

The housing market is downright bonkers right now. A combo of high demand, and the lack of homes for sale, is causing the price of homes to be fucking ridiculous. Literally, mediocre homes are listed, have like a 100 offers, and are sold over asking price in one day. It’s pure crazy town. Of course, I am itching to capitalize on this.

65. it's going to be awkward

raising the curtins — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 10:00:00 +0000

My 14 year old daughter, Gianna, is kind of awkward when meeting new people. She doesn’t flourish in situations where she has to go outside her shell and talk to people she really doesn’t know. Odd, because her confidence is 100%. Like she knows her shit doesn’t stink. But, when faced with meeting new people, she’s blindsided and uncomfortable. I get it.

64. not the snack house

raising the curtins — Sat, 10 Apr 2021 09:57:00 +0000

It’s “the Snack House.” If your house was the snack house, you probably had a bunch of friends, mainly because they were using you to get access to the snacks. Not hating, just the truth. Kids are drawn to the snack house. They can’t help it. My house is not the snack house.

63. i hate my life

raising the curtins — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 10:52:00 +0000

At what point, as a parent, do you throw in the towel and decide you need outside help? How do you decide that it’s gotten to the point that you aren’t equipped to deal with? I’m not asking for a friend. I’m asking for me.

62. community

raising the curtins — Fri, 12 Feb 2021 12:16:00 +0000

Living in a community has its pros and cons. However, lately, I feel like the cons are winning and I would seriously consider hauling ass someplace else if our girls wouldn’t care. Why am I wanting to leave? A few reasons. And, yes, I will detail them here. Enjoy!

61. raging hormones

raising the curtins — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 12:13:00 +0000

Being a teenager is hard. Along with all the responsibilities and expectations, you also have a raging set of hormones. Making your skin break out, making you cry because you can’t find your other shoe, making you feel like YOU basically have no control over YOU anymore.

60. sometimes you end up with purple hands

raising the curtins — Tue, 12 Jan 2021 12:09:00 +0000

My hands are purple and I don’t know how to get the color off. It’s all because I’m a sucker for guilt and Evie was primed and ready to pee on my counter.

59. a little farticle

raising the curtins — Mon, 14 Dec 2020 11:58:00 +0000

I was standing in line the other day, waiting to go inside to watch Scarlett’s cheer showcase. We were outside and I had just eaten dinner about 30 minutes prior. Standing there, in the crowd, I realized … I had to fart. So I did. I thought it would be relatively quiet and easy to cover the noise given the crowd. Wrong. It made a sound. Not a loud, ripping sound or anything like that. But, a sound nonetheless. Did anyone hear? I casually glance back like the chicken in the picture above and from my peripheral vision, I think…

58. i didn't want to talk about porno

raising the curtins — Sat, 28 Nov 2020 11:53:00 +0000

I walked downstairs the other night to tell the girls it was time for bed. As I made my way into the kitchen, I overheard the TV show they were watching. In the span of 15 seconds the show talked about porn, sex, and threesomes.

57. transparent parenting

raising the curtins — Fri, 06 Nov 2020 03:15:00 +0000

It seems like a lot of parents out there agonize over how to tell their children about the hard truths in life. I don’t get this. This fear of talking about adult topics, about your history, or about things that are taboo/sad/scary. For me, it’s simple really. I just tell them the truth. I am as honest and descriptive as I can be, based on their age and understanding of course.

56. my current agony with breastfeeding

raising the curtins — Fri, 06 Nov 2020 03:10:00 +0000

If you don’t care to hear more about milk, boobs, and the agony I’ve been in for the past month or so, carry on. If you want to commiserate with me and talk about milk supply and clogged ducts, keep on reading friends.

55. no one asked

raising the curtins — Sat, 31 Oct 2020 02:06:00 +0000

Getting unsolicited criticism about something you hate doing is probably one of the top 5 most irritating things in my book. It’s doubly hard getting negative feedback about something you feel like you suck at. Like when my husband Vince gave me feedback on my recent Facebook Live video.

54. an addiction to cloth diapers

raising the curtins — Wed, 23 Sep 2020 11:33:00 +0000

They’re cute, better for the Earth, better for your baby, and save money. Four good reasons why I am now addicted to cloth diapers. Don’t send help. I’m good.

53. let's face it, i don't live for video

raising the curtins — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 11:31:00 +0000

I recently started recording Facebook Live videos to promote my blog posts. The ensuing 3 minutes were torture, for me and likely anyone viewing. But I’m not going to stop. Because these videos make me uncomfortable, and that’s the point.

52. bye, bye, bi

raising the curtins — Tue, 01 Sep 2020 10:08:00 +0000

I want to talk about sexual preference because, recently, my 9 year old daughter came to me in tears because she thought she was bisexual.

51. we've lost our senses with masks

raising the curtins — Mon, 24 Aug 2020 10:32:00 +0000

After a recent trip while required to wear a mouth covering, I feel compelled to say something.

50. dead, dead, dead

raising the curtins — Mon, 17 Aug 2020 10:23:00 +0000

I don’t know if it’s a common thing or not but when I was little, I used to lay in bed at night and think about dying. The idea of death terrified me. I’d like to think this is normal, but I’m not sure. I wasn’t exactly a normal kid.

49. making it even isn't easy

raising the curtins — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 10:20:00 +0000

There are probably a million good things about having just one child. I can say this confidently because I have 3 kids. Jokes aside, all 3 of my girls are wonderful humans that I cannot imagine life without. However, there are definitely A LOT of positives about sticking to just one offspring. Such as the fact that you never have to worry about keeping the playing field even. You don’t have to count the number of Christmas presents and ensure they are equal. You don’t have to constantly try to split your time and attention between more than one child.…

48. being a mom means not knowing what you want

raising the curtins — Tue, 14 Jul 2020 10:14:00 +0000

Being a mom to a newborn is definitely a confusing role. One part of you cherishes each and every moment. You luxuriate in the sweet baby smell, soft skin, utter neediness, and tiny grunts and coo’s. Your heart aches with their cries. You orbit them like Earth does the Sun. They are your entire world and you cannot imagine life without them in it anymore. BUT, on the flip side, their cries irritate your sleep-deprived mind. You shush and shush without soothing them and feel like you might be on the brink of madness. They want to nurse constantly and…

47. hey sleep, it's me, krissy. i miss you

raising the curtins — Tue, 07 Jul 2020 10:08:00 +0000

Sleep deprivation is hands down the worst part of having a newborn. Close second might be breastfeeding. Sure, despite the 50 things I basically LOVE about breastfeeding, it does literally and figuratively suck. You are tied to the baby because of your boobs. You can’t really go anywhere and I personally feel like a food source vs. a human during the first month or so. Nursing compounds the sleep issue since ONLY YOU can provide food in the middle of the night. ONLY YOU can stop the cries. So, that means ONLY YOU gets up when the wee babe decides…

46. avoiding an argument

raising the curtins — Fri, 26 Jun 2020 16:46:00 +0000

My Facebook feed is flooded with fights right now. The virus, racial inequalities, politics. It’s a never ending spiral of dissenting opinions and arguments. 2020 has been the year for opposing views…a royal shit show that doesn’t appear to be getting better any time soon. Like everyone, I have my opinions and certain views on most of these topics. But, I very rarely comment on anything for two reasons. First, I’m not an expert on anything so I don’t feel qualified to argue against someone. And secondly, I f*cking hate arguments.

45. early arrival of miss evangeline

raising the curtins — Sun, 07 Jun 2020 16:21:00 +0000

Apologies out the gate if this post is a little haphazard and seems like it was written by a sleep-deprived, walking milk truck who can’t remember anything unless it’s written down on a piece of paper. The post may seem less coherent than my others but I wanted to write down Evie’s birth story soon before all the details get lost in this brain of mine and I forget the pain, guilt, and sheer joy/love of welcoming my third daughter into this crazy world we live in right now. Evangeline’s birth story is a song of sun and water. I…

44. being pregnant with older kids

raising the curtins — Tue, 19 May 2020 15:38:00 +0000

The age gap between my kids is pretty significant and for the most part, 100% intentional. Four and a half years separates Scarlett from Gianna. Baby girl #3, who is due in June, will be almost 9 years younger than Scarlett. I intentionally waited to try for another baby. I’ve talked about those reasons before. So now, here I am essentially starting all over again when my oldest is 13. One big thing for me that is different about this pregnancy vs. my other two is now I have two little mothers around. Two little mothers who want to be…

43. getting us to show gratitude

raising the curtins — Mon, 11 May 2020 16:34:00 +0000

Being grateful actually makes you MORE HAPPY than getting more money or buying a sweet ass car or dream home. Our brains tell us this isn’t true, but the science backs it up. My brain is one of them. Honestly, I think I would be 100 times more happy if I had a bigger house vs if I expressed gratefulness about things every day…but the research doesn’t back it up. And, if I really think about it, once I get something I’ve wanted for a long time, it does give me happiness for a minute…but then there I am –…

42. it's hard to be positive all the time

raising the curtins — Sun, 26 Apr 2020 11:27:00 +0000

I talk about positivity and how I am focused on living my life with that type of mindset. However, I am human. I am a pregnant human with hormones and indigestion. I have 2 strong willed daughters who are adjusting to this new normal. I’m married to a man who gets joy out of being a complete dick sometimes. So, while I constantly try to live with a positive mindset, I definitely have my moments of sheer exhaustion and “woe is me” pity parties. I get sad. I get annoyed and depressed. I am human.

41. sugar can just suck it

raising the curtins — Sat, 18 Apr 2020 09:25:00 +0000

I forgot how much being pregnant sucks. 32 weeks in and I’m f*cking done. I want my body back. I want to be able to see all my parts without tucking my belly in and stretching my neck out like a damn giraffe. I want to be able to bend down without grunting like an 80 year old man. I want to eat what I want to eat and not worry about another human when I do. Which brings me to diabetes, and the fact that I failed my 1 hour glucose test recently.

40. what's the f*cking deal with the bunny

raising the curtins — Sun, 05 Apr 2020 10:26:00 +0000

I’ve dealt with Santa and actually somewhat enjoyed the magic he brings to the season, however, I’ve never, EVER been a fan of the Easter Bunny. He’s creepy, slutty, and serves no purpose except to kill the magic of Christmas. At least that’s what he does in my house.

39. we have been given a gift

raising the curtins — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 11:37:00 +0000

It’s insane how quickly the world can change. At first, I downplayed it all. I mean, we’ve had Zika, the swine flu, Ebola, and other scares that seemed so similar to this. I wasn’t concerned. But then, the panic from society and the government reactions started rolling in and shit got real. I see the seriousness now, and only because of how everyone else is dealing with this virus. Not because of how I see it. Because, from my personal viewpoint (and we all have our own) I’m not worried. I refuse to let fear and uncertainty control me right…

38. the job of keeping things alive

raising the curtins — Mon, 09 Mar 2020 11:33:00 +0000

I’m worrying about what life will look like a few short months from now when this baby is born. Looking around and analyzing everything I do on daily basis and seeing it through the lens of how it will feel when the baby comes. And I’m realizing that too many things in my house rely on me to stay alive. It’s overwhelming me right now.

37. waiting for crazy

raising the curtins — Sun, 01 Mar 2020 11:09:00 +0000

My family has a history of mental illness. I spent a good part of my life waiting to see if I would also be afflicted with something. Now that I have kids, I am still waiting. Waiting to see if I’ve passed that gene along to them.

36. i need to teach my kids about money

raising the curtins — Sun, 23 Feb 2020 11:06:00 +0000

I need to teach my kids about money. Not that a quarter equals 25 cents That’s covered in school. But they never learn money’s true value, it’s importance, how to earn it, save it, give it. Our school system fails them miserably in this regard. So most kids grow up learning all about isosceles triangles and chlorophyll, but not how to manage money.

35. origination of the birthday book

raising the curtins — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 10:42:00 +0000

Gianna’s 13th birthday is nearing. Along with the internal struggle of dealing with the fact that my baby will be a teenager in a couple weeks, I am also overloaded with the self-induced stress of putting together the epic creation known in our house as “The Birthday Book”.

34. love makes you cross lines

raising the curtins — Mon, 10 Feb 2020 11:15:00 +0000

Since the holiday of love is near, I decided it’s a good time to share my love story. I see a lot of blogs that have a section dedicated to how they met, fell in love, and eventually got married to their significant other. All the romance and the joy. Well, my story has that. But it’s also real. It’s painful and confusing and 20 years in the making. Our love story made me cross lines I swore I’d never cross. But, by crossing those lines, I have the life I have today…and I wouldn’t change a thing. Even though…

33. it all started because he touched the butt

raising the curtins — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 11:12:00 +0000

Recently, I wrote a post on Facebook to share my short story about my 12 year old daughter having her butt touched by a boy at school. After sharing this post on a few FB pages, the backlash began. It escalated to personal attacks on my character and my husband Vince. It resulted in the county sheriff’s site being tagged and the police showing up on my doorstep to check on the welfare of my children.

32. he touched the butt

raising the curtins — Mon, 13 Jan 2020 11:09:00 +0000

Parenting is hard. Recently, my 12 year old daughter was sexually harassed at school and I wasn’t prepared for how to handle it. This is how I dealt with the situation.

31. the boy that may never be

raising the curtins — Mon, 06 Jan 2020 11:03:00 +0000

I really thought I was having a boy. When we learned it was another girl, I had to adjust my emotions. While I am excited for this little girl, there’s still an undefinable feeling of loss for the boy that will never be.

30. spiritual salisbury steak

raising the curtins — Thu, 26 Dec 2019 11:11:00 +0000

I’ve always been a spiritual person in that I’ve always believed in God. I didn’t always like him, mind you. I was angry for awhile. Regardless of my emotions, I always believed in something more. But exactly what that something more was, wasn’t always clear. So much gets hammered into your brain when you’re a kid. So many rules and beliefs that you take for face value because that’s what you’ve been taught. You don’t think that you have a choice to believe in whatever the hell you want because the alternatives are wrong. It’s either this way, or the highway (to hell).

29. the santa lie

raising the curtins — Mon, 16 Dec 2019 11:03:00 +0000

My original plan had been to break society’s rules and not have my kids believe in Santa. It didn’t feel right in my heart creating all the lies that surround the “magic.” Sure, a part of me felt a little sad that they wouldn’t have the joy and wonder, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that it was wrong to start off my child’s life with an unnecessary lie.

28. what's in a name

raising the curtins — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 11:01:00 +0000

It’s hard to choose a baby name when you already have 2 kids and a list of rules you like to follow when selecting just the right one. This episode covers off on my 5 standard set of criteria for selecting a name along with 1 extra rule if the name is for a boy. I will, of course, also go off on a few tangents since that’s how my mind operates.

27. i identify as me

raising the curtins — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 10:55:00 +0000

Sometimes I take a critical look at myself and wonder – was I meant to be a woman? Not that I identify as a male or want a penis. Penises are ugly, dangly things. I’m pretty comfortable with my lady bits even though they aren’t tucked in as nice and neat as they were 15 years ago. Kids will do that to you. And, despite the whole “penis thing” I’m physically attracted to men. Although I will admit that women are a lot prettier to look at naked. And, I do notice attractive women for sure. But, it’s more of…

26. what to do when your dream is crushed

raising the curtins — Tue, 26 Nov 2019 02:02:00 +0000

As kids, our minds don’t see limits. We dream big and want to do big things with our lives. Until the world crushes us down and makes us accept the mediocre. Here’s how I finally say f you to the world and followed my dream.

25. i don't want to be stuffed

raising the curtins — Thu, 14 Nov 2019 01:58:00 +0000

Stuff. It’s everywhere. We buy or receive things constantly and then, before you know it, the house is filled and eventually looks like the junk yard lady’s house from the 80s movie Labyrinth. I cannot stand stuff – yet I live with a borderline hoarder.

24. 4 things i wasn't prepared for as a parent

raising the curtins — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 12:32:00 +0000

A lot of people try and present a rosy-colored look at what their life with kids is like. I am not that person. Here are the 4 things I would like to warn you about. Things I wasn’t prepared for.

23. blah, i'll take a b-cup of tea

raising the curtins — Tue, 29 Oct 2019 11:29:00 +0000

This episode covers my mood (blah), my boobs (b-cup), and my current drinking status (tea) as I recap my 5-6 week status of geriatric pregnancy.

22. break me, shake me, and watch me shine

raising the curtins — Mon, 21 Oct 2019 17:02:00 +0000

I was broken in my childhood by abusive parents. But, I didn’t let that put me in darkness. Instead, by being broke, I was able to grow stronger…and eventually learn how to shine.

21. i just took a dna test, turns out i'm 100% pregnant, b*tch

raising the curtins — Mon, 14 Oct 2019 16:59:00 +0000

Must sing the title to the tune of “Truth Hurts.” Here’s how I found out I’m expecting with baby #3 and how I told the fam all about it. My inner struggles and their reactions included.

20. nancy

raising the curtins — Thu, 10 Oct 2019 16:57:00 +0000

I named the voice in my head. Totally normal….

19. comfy as a mother

raising the curtins — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 16:55:00 +0000

Why wearing yoga pants is just my thing.

18. let it have a penis, lord

raising the curtins — Mon, 30 Sep 2019 11:17:00 +0000

The ripe old age of 37 is not necessarily the best time in your life to try and get pregnant. Here’s why I waited until now to give it the ole college try for baby #3.

17. the business of sex

raising the curtins — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 09:16:00 +0000

Why is it that when someone might be gay, we can’t help but throw it into the convo, even when we’re not talking about sex at all? Look, I don’t care which hole you’re using. But unless you’re showing me a manstick or making bedroom requests, we don’t need a play-by-play of who you think is gay. And if we’re going down that road, can we please start declaring straightness, too? Because that would be equally pointless. Let’s stop the weirdness, folks.

16. shark teeth hunting

raising the curtins — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 09:15:00 +0000

Recap of our trip to Venice Beach to try shark teeth hunting. It includes a homeless guy showing off his goods, ice nuggets, drinking anxiety, setting fires, PDA, and plaques.

15. i'm so over girl power

raising the curtins — Wed, 11 Sep 2019 09:59:47 +0000

Avengers: End Game sets me off.

14. how prude

raising the curtins — Wed, 04 Sep 2019 09:58:20 +0000

TMI on my perverted mind and how this does not translate to my sex life. An unfortunate fact for my poor husband.

13. way too extra

raising the curtins — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 09:56:03 +0000

Family day as extras for a Mexican TV show which includes me overanalyzing everything, per usual.

12. ending an abusive relationship

raising the curtins — Mon, 19 Aug 2019 11:29:43 +0000

Passionate relationships all have the same qualities – you fall in love and all you want to do is be around that person, talk about that person, know everything about them. I had an extremely passionate relationship since I was about 6. My lover? Food.

11. scarred

raising the curtins — Wed, 14 Aug 2019 11:26:04 +0000

The second child is an experience all their own. Here’s a look at a span of just 3 hours with mine.

10. balls and butts - everywhere

raising the curtins — Wed, 07 Aug 2019 10:39:17 +0000

I chose to be a transparent parent years ago. To teach my kids about their bodies, and other important topics, because the world can be harsh and information is power. But, this led to some interesting side effects.

9. welcoming wilma

raising the curtins — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 10:24:49 +0000

Journeying out of childhood and into womanhood can be a celebration, not an embarrassment. Just hold a period party.

8. toilet paper thank you's

raising the curtins — Sun, 28 Jul 2019 10:07:05 +0000

My rant on birthday parties, triggered after only 4 kids showed up to my daughter’s 8th birthday party – despite the RSVPs.

7. put a cup in your vagina

raising the curtins — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 20:29:18 +0000

For all my menstruating women out there. Light a tampon, raise it up, and hear my ode to the menstrual cup.

6. f$cking fitted sheets

raising the curtins — Fri, 21 Jun 2019 20:27:22 +0000

I am horrible at all domestic tasks. The only one that doesn’t drive me insane like my mother is laundry. Yet, this episode is basically a b*tch fest about folding, fabric care labels, and mf-ing fitted sheets.

5. summer of slime

raising the curtins — Sat, 15 Jun 2019 19:43:54 +0000

Kids are off school. Forced time away from electronics means every day they make slime. Which means every surface of my house is covered in the stuff.

4. i have nothing to wear

raising the curtins — Wed, 12 Jun 2019 12:31:26 +0000

Getting your 7 year old ready in the morning is worse than going to the gyno.

3. confessions of a chaperone

raising the curtins — Tue, 28 May 2019 15:14:44 +0000

Why, if I don’t like kids, do I willingly volunteer to chaperone?

2. making a mother

raising the curtins — Tue, 21 May 2019 14:55:08 +0000

Why I never wanted to be a mom, but then my first daughter was born and everything changed.

1. why we don't have family photos

raising the curtins — Mon, 28 Jan 2019 12:43:35 +0000

Recalling the time we had family photos taken for the blog and why, before now, we never had them.

0. raising the curtins

raising the curtins — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 00:51:00 +0000

All of the episodes in this series are readings of the actual blog posts, written by me – Kristina Curtin. These posts document my life, my mind, my childhood, and my family’s lives – through my eyes and words of course. I don’t censor life. This is a real, unfiltered look at me and my family. I am “raising the curtains” on how I am “raising the curtins.”