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        <title>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt - A Friendship Podcast on Belonging &amp; the Art of Friendship</title>
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        <description>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a friendship podcast dedicated to exploring the art of friendship, meaningful connection, and what it means to be human in today’s world. Each episode examines friendship in adulthood, building authentic relationships, navigating boundaries, belonging, communication, and personal growth. This podcast on the art of friendship invites listeners to reflect, heal, and create deeper friendships in their families, communities, and everyday lives.

THIS PLATFORM IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY. WE ARE NOT EXPERTS.

A podcast about friendship and human connection. Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and the conversations that shape our lives.


In a world that feels increasingly divided and lonely, hosts Fawn and Matt explore the art of friendship—how trust is built, how misunderstandings happen, and how meaningful conversation can heal relationships across generations, cultures, and communities.

Through honest dialogue, real-life stories, and thoughtful reflection, this podcast examines friendship not as something casual but as a vital force that transforms families, workplaces, and society itself.

If you’re searching for a podcast about friendship, connection, emotional intelligence, and what it truly means to understand one another, Our Friendly World invites you into conversations that matter.

Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt  - the art of friendship, A podcast about friendship, human connection, meaningful conversation, and the power of human connection.  What it really takes to create meaningful relationships—in families, communities, in business, and the world.


DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</description>
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                <title>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt - A Friendship Podcast on Belonging &amp; the Art of Friendship</title>
                <link>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</link>
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                <itunes:subtitle>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a friendship podcast dedicated to exploring the art of friendship, meaningful connection, and what it means to be human in today’s world. Each episode examines friendship in adulthood, building authentic relationships, navigating boundaries, belonging, communication, and personal growth. This podcast on the art of friendship invites listeners to reflect, heal, and create deeper friendships in their families, communities, and everyday lives.

THIS PLATFORM IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY. WE ARE NOT EXPERTS.

A podcast about friendship and human connection. Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and the conversations that shape our lives.


In a world that feels increasingly divided and lonely, hosts Fawn and Matt explore the art of friendship—how trust is built, how misunderstandings happen, and how meaningful conversation can heal relationships across generations, cultures, and communities.

Through honest dialogue, real-life stories, and thoughtful reflection, this podcast examines friendship not as something casual but as a vital force that transforms families, workplaces, and society itself.

If you’re searching for a podcast about friendship, connection, emotional intelligence, and what it truly means to understand one another, Our Friendly World invites you into conversations that matter.

Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt  - the art of friendship, A podcast about friendship, human connection, meaningful conversation, and the power of human connection.  What it really takes to create meaningful relationships—in families, communities, in business, and the world.


DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</itunes:subtitle>
        <itunes:author>Fawn Anderson</itunes:author>
        <itunes:type>episodic</itunes:type>
        <itunes:summary>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a friendship podcast dedicated to exploring the art of friendship, meaningful connection, and what it means to be human in today’s world. Each episode examines friendship in adulthood, building authentic relationships, navigating boundaries, belonging, communication, and personal growth. This podcast on the art of friendship invites listeners to reflect, heal, and create deeper friendships in their families, communities, and everyday lives.

THIS PLATFORM IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY. WE ARE NOT EXPERTS.

A podcast about friendship and human connection. Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and the conversations that shape our lives.


In a world that feels increasingly divided and lonely, hosts Fawn and Matt explore the art of friendship—how trust is built, how misunderstandings happen, and how meaningful conversation can heal relationships across generations, cultures, and communities.

Through honest dialogue, real-life stories, and thoughtful reflection, this podcast examines friendship not as something casual but as a vital force that transforms families, workplaces, and society itself.

If you’re searching for a podcast about friendship, connection, emotional intelligence, and what it truly means to understand one another, Our Friendly World invites you into conversations that matter.

Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt  - the art of friendship, A podcast about friendship, human connection, meaningful conversation, and the power of human connection.  What it really takes to create meaningful relationships—in families, communities, in business, and the world.


DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</itunes:summary>
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            <itunes:name>Fawn and Matt Anderson</itunes:name>
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                    <podcast:funding url="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace">"Support our show!"</podcast:funding>
                                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Burnout, Friendship & the Stories Exhaustion Tells Us]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 May 2026 04:29:37 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2459499</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/burnout-friendship-the-stories-exhaustion-tells-us</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What if exhaustion is changing the way you see the world?</p>
<p>In this deeply personal episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore how burnout, stress, sleep deprivation, emotional overload, illness, financial pressure, and caretaking can distort perception and make life feel darker than it truly is.</p>
<p>Through humor, vulnerability, friendship, and spiritual reflection, they discuss the connection between the physical body and the soul — and how fatigue can amplify fear, hopelessness, irritability, and disconnection.</p>
<p>Together, they unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why exhaustion changes interpretation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How stress impacts friendships and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The danger of making permanent conclusions during temporary emotional overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why grounding, rest, prayer, stillness, and stepping away from “echo chambers” matter</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The importance of emotional release, self-care, and slowing down</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to recognize when tiredness — not truth — is shaping your thoughts</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode is a reminder that not every dark thought deserves a microphone, and that sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is rest.</p>
<p>If you’ve been feeling emotionally overwhelmed, burned out, disconnected, anxious, reactive, or hopeless, this conversation may help you breathe again and remember that hope was there all along.</p>
<p></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>burnout recovery</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>emotional exhaustion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>sleep deprivation and mental health</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>spiritual exhaustion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Chabad teachings</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Jewish spirituality podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stress and perception</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mental burnout</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>grounding techniques</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional healing</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self care and spirituality</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how exhaustion affects relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>nervous system overload</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindfulness and rest</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>spiritual wellness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>burnout and friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>rest and mental clarity</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#BurnoutRecovery<br />#EmotionalHealing<br />#MentalHealthAwareness<br />#SpiritualGrowth<br />#FriendshipPodcast<br />#SelfCare<br />#Mindfulness<br />#Burnout<br />#StressRelief<br />#HealingJourney<br />#Chabad<br />#JewishWisdom<br />#EmotionalWellness<br />#PodcastLife<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#AnxietyRelief<br />#RestAndReset<br />#Grounding<br />#SpiritualHealing<br />#AuthenticConversations</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What if exhaustion is changing the way you see the world?
In this deeply personal episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore how burnout, stress, sleep deprivation, emotional overload, illness, financial pressure, and caretaking can distort perception and make life feel darker than it truly is.
Through humor, vulnerability, friendship, and spiritual reflection, they discuss the connection between the physical body and the soul — and how fatigue can amplify fear, hopelessness, irritability, and disconnection.
Together, they unpack:


Why exhaustion changes interpretation


How stress impacts friendships and relationships


The danger of making permanent conclusions during temporary emotional overwhelm


Why grounding, rest, prayer, stillness, and stepping away from “echo chambers” matter


The importance of emotional release, self-care, and slowing down


How to recognize when tiredness — not truth — is shaping your thoughts


This episode is a reminder that not every dark thought deserves a microphone, and that sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is rest.
If you’ve been feeling emotionally overwhelmed, burned out, disconnected, anxious, reactive, or hopeless, this conversation may help you breathe again and remember that hope was there all along.


burnout recovery


emotional exhaustion


sleep deprivation and mental health


spiritual exhaustion


Chabad teachings


Jewish spirituality podcast


friendship podcast


emotional overwhelm


stress and perception


mental burnout


grounding techniques


emotional healing


self care and spirituality


how exhaustion affects relationships


nervous system overload


mindfulness and rest


spiritual wellness


burnout and friendship


emotional resilience


rest and mental clarity


#BurnoutRecovery#EmotionalHealing#MentalHealthAwareness#SpiritualGrowth#FriendshipPodcast#SelfCare#Mindfulness#Burnout#StressRelief#HealingJourney#Chabad#JewishWisdom#EmotionalWellness#PodcastLife#OurFriendlyWorld#AnxietyRelief#RestAndReset#Grounding#SpiritualHealing#AuthenticConversations
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Burnout, Friendship & the Stories Exhaustion Tells Us]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What if exhaustion is changing the way you see the world?</p>
<p>In this deeply personal episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore how burnout, stress, sleep deprivation, emotional overload, illness, financial pressure, and caretaking can distort perception and make life feel darker than it truly is.</p>
<p>Through humor, vulnerability, friendship, and spiritual reflection, they discuss the connection between the physical body and the soul — and how fatigue can amplify fear, hopelessness, irritability, and disconnection.</p>
<p>Together, they unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why exhaustion changes interpretation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How stress impacts friendships and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The danger of making permanent conclusions during temporary emotional overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why grounding, rest, prayer, stillness, and stepping away from “echo chambers” matter</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The importance of emotional release, self-care, and slowing down</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to recognize when tiredness — not truth — is shaping your thoughts</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode is a reminder that not every dark thought deserves a microphone, and that sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is rest.</p>
<p>If you’ve been feeling emotionally overwhelmed, burned out, disconnected, anxious, reactive, or hopeless, this conversation may help you breathe again and remember that hope was there all along.</p>
<p></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>burnout recovery</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>emotional exhaustion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>sleep deprivation and mental health</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>spiritual exhaustion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Chabad teachings</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Jewish spirituality podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stress and perception</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mental burnout</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>grounding techniques</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional healing</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self care and spirituality</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how exhaustion affects relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>nervous system overload</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindfulness and rest</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>spiritual wellness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>burnout and friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>rest and mental clarity</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#BurnoutRecovery<br />#EmotionalHealing<br />#MentalHealthAwareness<br />#SpiritualGrowth<br />#FriendshipPodcast<br />#SelfCare<br />#Mindfulness<br />#Burnout<br />#StressRelief<br />#HealingJourney<br />#Chabad<br />#JewishWisdom<br />#EmotionalWellness<br />#PodcastLife<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#AnxietyRelief<br />#RestAndReset<br />#Grounding<br />#SpiritualHealing<br />#AuthenticConversations</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
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                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What if exhaustion is changing the way you see the world?
In this deeply personal episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore how burnout, stress, sleep deprivation, emotional overload, illness, financial pressure, and caretaking can distort perception and make life feel darker than it truly is.
Through humor, vulnerability, friendship, and spiritual reflection, they discuss the connection between the physical body and the soul — and how fatigue can amplify fear, hopelessness, irritability, and disconnection.
Together, they unpack:


Why exhaustion changes interpretation


How stress impacts friendships and relationships


The danger of making permanent conclusions during temporary emotional overwhelm


Why grounding, rest, prayer, stillness, and stepping away from “echo chambers” matter


The importance of emotional release, self-care, and slowing down


How to recognize when tiredness — not truth — is shaping your thoughts


This episode is a reminder that not every dark thought deserves a microphone, and that sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is rest.
If you’ve been feeling emotionally overwhelmed, burned out, disconnected, anxious, reactive, or hopeless, this conversation may help you breathe again and remember that hope was there all along.


burnout recovery


emotional exhaustion


sleep deprivation and mental health


spiritual exhaustion


Chabad teachings


Jewish spirituality podcast


friendship podcast


emotional overwhelm


stress and perception


mental burnout


grounding techniques


emotional healing


self care and spirituality


how exhaustion affects relationships


nervous system overload


mindfulness and rest


spiritual wellness


burnout and friendship


emotional resilience


rest and mental clarity


#BurnoutRecovery#EmotionalHealing#MentalHealthAwareness#SpiritualGrowth#FriendshipPodcast#SelfCare#Mindfulness#Burnout#StressRelief#HealingJourney#Chabad#JewishWisdom#EmotionalWellness#PodcastLife#OurFriendlyWorld#AnxietyRelief#RestAndReset#Grounding#SpiritualHealing#AuthenticConversations
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:44</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The people who challenge us (without tearing us down) might be the ones who love us the most.]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 04 May 2026 03:34:14 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2453099</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-people-who-challenge-us-without-tearing-us-down-might-be-the-ones-who-love-us-the-most</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>“A True Friend Stretches You: Love, Truth, and the Courage to Grow” <br /><br />In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore a powerful question: <strong>If a friendship never stretches you, is it really love—or just comfort?</strong></p>
<p>From unexpected honesty to “loving rebuke,” we dive into what it means to have friends who challenge us while still preserving our dignity. Fawn shares a deeply personal story about getting fired—and the friend who didn’t comfort her, but instead reminded her who she truly is.</p>
<p>Together, we unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The difference between <strong>supportive vs. comfortable friendships</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why real friends don’t let you stay small</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to challenge someone <strong>without hurting them</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The balance between truth, love, and emotional safety</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why some of the most unlikely people become our closest friends</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>We also explore the idea of <strong>“calling someone up, not calling them out”</strong>—and how honest, respectful confrontation can actually deepen connection.</p>
<p>This episode is for anyone navigating friendship, growth, and the courage it takes to be truly seen.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>friendship growth, true friendship meaning, healthy relationships, honest communication, emotional intelligence, supportive friendships, personal growth relationships, setting boundaries in friendship, real vs fake friends, how to be a good friend, communication in relationships, friendship advice podcast, challenging conversations, loving honesty, relationship growth</p>
<p>#FriendshipGoals<br />#RealFriendship<br />#HealthyRelationships<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#PersonalGrowth<br />#FriendshipAdvice<br />#AuthenticConnections<br />#GrowthMindset<br />#RelationshipWisdom<br />#SelfDevelopment<br />#TruthAndLove<br />#PodcastLife<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#HumanConnection<br />#ConsciousLiving</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[“A True Friend Stretches You: Love, Truth, and the Courage to Grow” In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore a powerful question: If a friendship never stretches you, is it really love—or just comfort?
From unexpected honesty to “loving rebuke,” we dive into what it means to have friends who challenge us while still preserving our dignity. Fawn shares a deeply personal story about getting fired—and the friend who didn’t comfort her, but instead reminded her who she truly is.
Together, we unpack:


The difference between supportive vs. comfortable friendships


Why real friends don’t let you stay small


How to challenge someone without hurting them


The balance between truth, love, and emotional safety


Why some of the most unlikely people become our closest friends


We also explore the idea of “calling someone up, not calling them out”—and how honest, respectful confrontation can actually deepen connection.
This episode is for anyone navigating friendship, growth, and the courage it takes to be truly seen.

friendship growth, true friendship meaning, healthy relationships, honest communication, emotional intelligence, supportive friendships, personal growth relationships, setting boundaries in friendship, real vs fake friends, how to be a good friend, communication in relationships, friendship advice podcast, challenging conversations, loving honesty, relationship growth
#FriendshipGoals#RealFriendship#HealthyRelationships#EmotionalIntelligence#PersonalGrowth#FriendshipAdvice#AuthenticConnections#GrowthMindset#RelationshipWisdom#SelfDevelopment#TruthAndLove#PodcastLife#OurFriendlyWorld#HumanConnection#ConsciousLiving
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The people who challenge us (without tearing us down) might be the ones who love us the most.]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>“A True Friend Stretches You: Love, Truth, and the Courage to Grow” <br /><br />In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore a powerful question: <strong>If a friendship never stretches you, is it really love—or just comfort?</strong></p>
<p>From unexpected honesty to “loving rebuke,” we dive into what it means to have friends who challenge us while still preserving our dignity. Fawn shares a deeply personal story about getting fired—and the friend who didn’t comfort her, but instead reminded her who she truly is.</p>
<p>Together, we unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The difference between <strong>supportive vs. comfortable friendships</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why real friends don’t let you stay small</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to challenge someone <strong>without hurting them</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The balance between truth, love, and emotional safety</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why some of the most unlikely people become our closest friends</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>We also explore the idea of <strong>“calling someone up, not calling them out”</strong>—and how honest, respectful confrontation can actually deepen connection.</p>
<p>This episode is for anyone navigating friendship, growth, and the courage it takes to be truly seen.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>friendship growth, true friendship meaning, healthy relationships, honest communication, emotional intelligence, supportive friendships, personal growth relationships, setting boundaries in friendship, real vs fake friends, how to be a good friend, communication in relationships, friendship advice podcast, challenging conversations, loving honesty, relationship growth</p>
<p>#FriendshipGoals<br />#RealFriendship<br />#HealthyRelationships<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#PersonalGrowth<br />#FriendshipAdvice<br />#AuthenticConnections<br />#GrowthMindset<br />#RelationshipWisdom<br />#SelfDevelopment<br />#TruthAndLove<br />#PodcastLife<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#HumanConnection<br />#ConsciousLiving</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[“A True Friend Stretches You: Love, Truth, and the Courage to Grow” In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore a powerful question: If a friendship never stretches you, is it really love—or just comfort?
From unexpected honesty to “loving rebuke,” we dive into what it means to have friends who challenge us while still preserving our dignity. Fawn shares a deeply personal story about getting fired—and the friend who didn’t comfort her, but instead reminded her who she truly is.
Together, we unpack:


The difference between supportive vs. comfortable friendships


Why real friends don’t let you stay small


How to challenge someone without hurting them


The balance between truth, love, and emotional safety


Why some of the most unlikely people become our closest friends


We also explore the idea of “calling someone up, not calling them out”—and how honest, respectful confrontation can actually deepen connection.
This episode is for anyone navigating friendship, growth, and the courage it takes to be truly seen.

friendship growth, true friendship meaning, healthy relationships, honest communication, emotional intelligence, supportive friendships, personal growth relationships, setting boundaries in friendship, real vs fake friends, how to be a good friend, communication in relationships, friendship advice podcast, challenging conversations, loving honesty, relationship growth
#FriendshipGoals#RealFriendship#HealthyRelationships#EmotionalIntelligence#PersonalGrowth#FriendshipAdvice#AuthenticConnections#GrowthMindset#RelationshipWisdom#SelfDevelopment#TruthAndLove#PodcastLife#OurFriendlyWorld#HumanConnection#ConsciousLiving
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2453099/c1a-8j1v-qdp16o6kf7pn-ffq1xp.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:19:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Make Friends as an Adult: Why Friendship Takes Effort  - Feeling Disconnected? The Truth About Friendship No One Talks About]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Apr 2026 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2437781</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-why-friendship-takes-effort-feeling-disconnected-the-truth-abou</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In a world where we’re more connected than ever… why do so many of us feel alone?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore a powerful and unexpected idea:<br /><strong>friendship isn’t something you find—it’s something you build.</strong></p>
<p>Inspired by timeless wisdom, this conversation dives into what it really means to <em>“acquire a friend”</em>—and why waiting for connection might be the very thing keeping us disconnected.</p>
<p>Fawn shares a deeply honest reflection on her own experience of pulling back, feeling hurt, and realizing she had been waiting for friendship to come to her… instead of actively creating it.</p>
<p>Together, they unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why adult friendships can feel so hard</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The hidden stories we tell ourselves that keep us isolated</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How overthinking stops us from reaching out</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>And one simple step you can take today to start building real connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>If you’ve ever felt lonely, disconnected, or unsure how to reconnect with others—this episode is for you.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>why friendships are hard</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>feeling lonely but connected</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>how to build meaningful relationships</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>making friends later in life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>why friendships fade</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>building real connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>emotional loneliness</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>friendship advice</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>personal growth relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to make friends as an adult</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#MakeFriends #AdultFriendship #ConnectionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfReflection</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In a world where we’re more connected than ever… why do so many of us feel alone?
In this episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore a powerful and unexpected idea:friendship isn’t something you find—it’s something you build.
Inspired by timeless wisdom, this conversation dives into what it really means to “acquire a friend”—and why waiting for connection might be the very thing keeping us disconnected.
Fawn shares a deeply honest reflection on her own experience of pulling back, feeling hurt, and realizing she had been waiting for friendship to come to her… instead of actively creating it.
Together, they unpack:


Why adult friendships can feel so hard


The hidden stories we tell ourselves that keep us isolated


How overthinking stops us from reaching out


And one simple step you can take today to start building real connection


If you’ve ever felt lonely, disconnected, or unsure how to reconnect with others—this episode is for you.



why friendships are hard




feeling lonely but connected




how to build meaningful relationships




making friends later in life




why friendships fade




building real connection




emotional loneliness




friendship advice




personal growth relationships


how to make friends as an adult


#MakeFriends #AdultFriendship #ConnectionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfReflection]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Make Friends as an Adult: Why Friendship Takes Effort  - Feeling Disconnected? The Truth About Friendship No One Talks About]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In a world where we’re more connected than ever… why do so many of us feel alone?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore a powerful and unexpected idea:<br /><strong>friendship isn’t something you find—it’s something you build.</strong></p>
<p>Inspired by timeless wisdom, this conversation dives into what it really means to <em>“acquire a friend”</em>—and why waiting for connection might be the very thing keeping us disconnected.</p>
<p>Fawn shares a deeply honest reflection on her own experience of pulling back, feeling hurt, and realizing she had been waiting for friendship to come to her… instead of actively creating it.</p>
<p>Together, they unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why adult friendships can feel so hard</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The hidden stories we tell ourselves that keep us isolated</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How overthinking stops us from reaching out</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>And one simple step you can take today to start building real connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>If you’ve ever felt lonely, disconnected, or unsure how to reconnect with others—this episode is for you.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>why friendships are hard</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>feeling lonely but connected</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>how to build meaningful relationships</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>making friends later in life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>why friendships fade</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>building real connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>emotional loneliness</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>friendship advice</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>personal growth relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to make friends as an adult</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#MakeFriends #AdultFriendship #ConnectionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfReflection</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2437781/c1e-r691boddwjs2k9gx-ok0zvz48tw-qj7vko.mp3" length="18575579"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In a world where we’re more connected than ever… why do so many of us feel alone?
In this episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore a powerful and unexpected idea:friendship isn’t something you find—it’s something you build.
Inspired by timeless wisdom, this conversation dives into what it really means to “acquire a friend”—and why waiting for connection might be the very thing keeping us disconnected.
Fawn shares a deeply honest reflection on her own experience of pulling back, feeling hurt, and realizing she had been waiting for friendship to come to her… instead of actively creating it.
Together, they unpack:


Why adult friendships can feel so hard


The hidden stories we tell ourselves that keep us isolated


How overthinking stops us from reaching out


And one simple step you can take today to start building real connection


If you’ve ever felt lonely, disconnected, or unsure how to reconnect with others—this episode is for you.



why friendships are hard




feeling lonely but connected




how to build meaningful relationships




making friends later in life




why friendships fade




building real connection




emotional loneliness




friendship advice




personal growth relationships


how to make friends as an adult


#MakeFriends #AdultFriendship #ConnectionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfReflection]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2437781/c1a-8j1v-7z89694nsm9w-z7adc8.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:19:20</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Are We Living in Exile? Finding Connection in a Disconnected World”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Apr 2026 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2426689</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/are-we-living-in-exile-finding-connection-in-a-disconnected-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Are we living in exile—and not in the way we usually think?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore a deeper kind of exile: not distance from a place, but disconnection from each other. In a world filled with constant communication, why does real connection feel harder than ever?</p>
<p>Fawn reflects on decades of observing loneliness, long before social media, and questions whether modern life has quietly dismantled the “village” we were meant to live in. From fragmented families and financial pressures to the subtle ways independence has been glorified, the conversation asks: <em>Did we create this separation… or is there something bigger at play?</em></p>
<p>Together, they explore:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Whether today’s loneliness is a symptom of a deeper spiritual “exile”</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why relationships can feel more transactional and less rooted</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The tension between independence and true community</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Signs that, despite everything, something <em>better</em> may be emerging</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>And most importantly—Fawn shares a simple but powerful practice she’s been experimenting with this week:<br />a way to transform frustration into connection by recognizing the hidden value in others, even in the most difficult relationships.</p>
<p>Because maybe exile isn’t the end of the story…<br />Maybe it’s the space where real connection becomes a conscious choice.</p>
<p><strong>When someone frustrates you, ask:<br />“What is the value this person brings into my life, even if it’s small?”</strong></p>
<p>Not in a forced, toxic-positivity way—but as a way to <em>see what’s hidden.</em></p>
<p>Connection doesn’t always start with closeness.<br />Sometimes it starts with <strong>recognition.</strong></p>
<p><br />loneliness epidemic, modern isolation, emotional exile, friendship podcast, building community, family disconnection, authentic relationships, human connection, social isolation solutions, finding belonging, spiritual perspective on loneliness</p>
<p><br />#LonelinessEpidemic #HumanConnection #ModernIsolation #FriendshipMatters #EmotionalWellbeing #AuthenticLiving #CommunityBuilding #SpiritualGrowth #ConnectionOverIsolation #OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Are we living in exile—and not in the way we usually think?
In this episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore a deeper kind of exile: not distance from a place, but disconnection from each other. In a world filled with constant communication, why does real connection feel harder than ever?
Fawn reflects on decades of observing loneliness, long before social media, and questions whether modern life has quietly dismantled the “village” we were meant to live in. From fragmented families and financial pressures to the subtle ways independence has been glorified, the conversation asks: Did we create this separation… or is there something bigger at play?
Together, they explore:


Whether today’s loneliness is a symptom of a deeper spiritual “exile”


Why relationships can feel more transactional and less rooted


The tension between independence and true community


Signs that, despite everything, something better may be emerging


And most importantly—Fawn shares a simple but powerful practice she’s been experimenting with this week:a way to transform frustration into connection by recognizing the hidden value in others, even in the most difficult relationships.
Because maybe exile isn’t the end of the story…Maybe it’s the space where real connection becomes a conscious choice.
When someone frustrates you, ask:“What is the value this person brings into my life, even if it’s small?”
Not in a forced, toxic-positivity way—but as a way to see what’s hidden.
Connection doesn’t always start with closeness.Sometimes it starts with recognition.
loneliness epidemic, modern isolation, emotional exile, friendship podcast, building community, family disconnection, authentic relationships, human connection, social isolation solutions, finding belonging, spiritual perspective on loneliness
#LonelinessEpidemic #HumanConnection #ModernIsolation #FriendshipMatters #EmotionalWellbeing #AuthenticLiving #CommunityBuilding #SpiritualGrowth #ConnectionOverIsolation #OurFriendlyWorld
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Are We Living in Exile? Finding Connection in a Disconnected World”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Are we living in exile—and not in the way we usually think?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore a deeper kind of exile: not distance from a place, but disconnection from each other. In a world filled with constant communication, why does real connection feel harder than ever?</p>
<p>Fawn reflects on decades of observing loneliness, long before social media, and questions whether modern life has quietly dismantled the “village” we were meant to live in. From fragmented families and financial pressures to the subtle ways independence has been glorified, the conversation asks: <em>Did we create this separation… or is there something bigger at play?</em></p>
<p>Together, they explore:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Whether today’s loneliness is a symptom of a deeper spiritual “exile”</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why relationships can feel more transactional and less rooted</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The tension between independence and true community</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Signs that, despite everything, something <em>better</em> may be emerging</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>And most importantly—Fawn shares a simple but powerful practice she’s been experimenting with this week:<br />a way to transform frustration into connection by recognizing the hidden value in others, even in the most difficult relationships.</p>
<p>Because maybe exile isn’t the end of the story…<br />Maybe it’s the space where real connection becomes a conscious choice.</p>
<p><strong>When someone frustrates you, ask:<br />“What is the value this person brings into my life, even if it’s small?”</strong></p>
<p>Not in a forced, toxic-positivity way—but as a way to <em>see what’s hidden.</em></p>
<p>Connection doesn’t always start with closeness.<br />Sometimes it starts with <strong>recognition.</strong></p>
<p><br />loneliness epidemic, modern isolation, emotional exile, friendship podcast, building community, family disconnection, authentic relationships, human connection, social isolation solutions, finding belonging, spiritual perspective on loneliness</p>
<p><br />#LonelinessEpidemic #HumanConnection #ModernIsolation #FriendshipMatters #EmotionalWellbeing #AuthenticLiving #CommunityBuilding #SpiritualGrowth #ConnectionOverIsolation #OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2426689/c1e-dp0nuoonwrapd4dd-474dv04xi2dj-eotjxi.mp3" length="22593707"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Are we living in exile—and not in the way we usually think?
In this episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore a deeper kind of exile: not distance from a place, but disconnection from each other. In a world filled with constant communication, why does real connection feel harder than ever?
Fawn reflects on decades of observing loneliness, long before social media, and questions whether modern life has quietly dismantled the “village” we were meant to live in. From fragmented families and financial pressures to the subtle ways independence has been glorified, the conversation asks: Did we create this separation… or is there something bigger at play?
Together, they explore:


Whether today’s loneliness is a symptom of a deeper spiritual “exile”


Why relationships can feel more transactional and less rooted


The tension between independence and true community


Signs that, despite everything, something better may be emerging


And most importantly—Fawn shares a simple but powerful practice she’s been experimenting with this week:a way to transform frustration into connection by recognizing the hidden value in others, even in the most difficult relationships.
Because maybe exile isn’t the end of the story…Maybe it’s the space where real connection becomes a conscious choice.
When someone frustrates you, ask:“What is the value this person brings into my life, even if it’s small?”
Not in a forced, toxic-positivity way—but as a way to see what’s hidden.
Connection doesn’t always start with closeness.Sometimes it starts with recognition.
loneliness epidemic, modern isolation, emotional exile, friendship podcast, building community, family disconnection, authentic relationships, human connection, social isolation solutions, finding belonging, spiritual perspective on loneliness
#LonelinessEpidemic #HumanConnection #ModernIsolation #FriendshipMatters #EmotionalWellbeing #AuthenticLiving #CommunityBuilding #SpiritualGrowth #ConnectionOverIsolation #OurFriendlyWorld
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2426689/c1a-8j1v-5zq15nqduqx-jozt3m.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:32</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Sweet but Fleeting: Understanding Cotton Candy Friendships”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Apr 2026 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2419945</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/sweet-but-fleeting-understanding-cotton-candy-friendships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Not all friendships are meant to grow deeper… some are just meant to be sweet.</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the quiet disappointment of one-sided or surface-level connections—the kind that look meaningful from the outside but somehow leave you feeling unseen.</p>
<p>What starts with a simple story about a long-awaited “coding hat” turns into something much deeper:<br />Why do some friendships never quite connect?<br />Why does it hurt when someone doesn’t show up the way we hope?<br />And how do we honor a relationship without expecting it to be more than it is?</p>
<p>Together, they introduce the idea of a <strong>“cotton candy friendship”</strong>—a connection that’s light, occasional, and enjoyable… but ultimately lacking substance.</p>
<p>Instead of resentment or rejection, this conversation offers something more freeing:<br /> clarity<br /> acceptance<br /> and the permission to let relationships be exactly what they are</p>
<p>With a gentle nod to Marie Kondo’s philosophy, Fawn shares a powerful reframe:<br />Some friendships served their purpose. And that can be enough.</p>
<p>If you’ve ever felt let down, overlooked, or confused by a relationship that doesn’t quite “fit”… this episode will help you breathe easier—and let go with grace.<br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Not all friendships are meant to grow deeper… some are just meant to be sweet.
In this episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the quiet disappointment of one-sided or surface-level connections—the kind that look meaningful from the outside but somehow leave you feeling unseen.
What starts with a simple story about a long-awaited “coding hat” turns into something much deeper:Why do some friendships never quite connect?Why does it hurt when someone doesn’t show up the way we hope?And how do we honor a relationship without expecting it to be more than it is?
Together, they introduce the idea of a “cotton candy friendship”—a connection that’s light, occasional, and enjoyable… but ultimately lacking substance.
Instead of resentment or rejection, this conversation offers something more freeing: clarity acceptance and the permission to let relationships be exactly what they are
With a gentle nod to Marie Kondo’s philosophy, Fawn shares a powerful reframe:Some friendships served their purpose. And that can be enough.
If you’ve ever felt let down, overlooked, or confused by a relationship that doesn’t quite “fit”… this episode will help you breathe easier—and let go with grace.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Sweet but Fleeting: Understanding Cotton Candy Friendships”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Not all friendships are meant to grow deeper… some are just meant to be sweet.</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the quiet disappointment of one-sided or surface-level connections—the kind that look meaningful from the outside but somehow leave you feeling unseen.</p>
<p>What starts with a simple story about a long-awaited “coding hat” turns into something much deeper:<br />Why do some friendships never quite connect?<br />Why does it hurt when someone doesn’t show up the way we hope?<br />And how do we honor a relationship without expecting it to be more than it is?</p>
<p>Together, they introduce the idea of a <strong>“cotton candy friendship”</strong>—a connection that’s light, occasional, and enjoyable… but ultimately lacking substance.</p>
<p>Instead of resentment or rejection, this conversation offers something more freeing:<br /> clarity<br /> acceptance<br /> and the permission to let relationships be exactly what they are</p>
<p>With a gentle nod to Marie Kondo’s philosophy, Fawn shares a powerful reframe:<br />Some friendships served their purpose. And that can be enough.</p>
<p>If you’ve ever felt let down, overlooked, or confused by a relationship that doesn’t quite “fit”… this episode will help you breathe easier—and let go with grace.<br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2419945/c1e-z08ns33232uokrpm-ww4mxg9zi6dv-at6eyl.mp3" length="14638708"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Not all friendships are meant to grow deeper… some are just meant to be sweet.
In this episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the quiet disappointment of one-sided or surface-level connections—the kind that look meaningful from the outside but somehow leave you feeling unseen.
What starts with a simple story about a long-awaited “coding hat” turns into something much deeper:Why do some friendships never quite connect?Why does it hurt when someone doesn’t show up the way we hope?And how do we honor a relationship without expecting it to be more than it is?
Together, they introduce the idea of a “cotton candy friendship”—a connection that’s light, occasional, and enjoyable… but ultimately lacking substance.
Instead of resentment or rejection, this conversation offers something more freeing: clarity acceptance and the permission to let relationships be exactly what they are
With a gentle nod to Marie Kondo’s philosophy, Fawn shares a powerful reframe:Some friendships served their purpose. And that can be enough.
If you’ve ever felt let down, overlooked, or confused by a relationship that doesn’t quite “fit”… this episode will help you breathe easier—and let go with grace.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2419945/c1a-8j1v-qdp4mjg4fjrq-otgzke.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:15:14</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Where’s the Village? Why Friendship Isn’t Optional—It’s Everything]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Apr 2026 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2414548</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/wheres-the-village-why-friendship-isnt-optional-its-everything</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>Where’s the Village? Why Friendship Isn’t Optional—It’s Everything</strong></p>
<p>When life feels overwhelming… when everything starts breaking at once… when you feel like you have no one to call, what’s really missing?</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt explore the truth most people avoid:</p>
<p><strong>Friendship isn’t a luxury. It’s survival.</strong></p>
<p>Drawing from timeless wisdom, Fawn and Matt's conversation reframe connection, success, and belonging.</p>
<p>Fawn opens up about burnout, loneliness, and the pressure of holding everything together without a “village”—and why so many of us are quietly living this way.</p>
<p>Together, they unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why chasing the “right people” or “right opportunities” creates more separation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How <strong>friendship is built through practice—not perfection</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The hidden danger of assumptions, silent resentment, and emotional exhaustion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why <strong>your words literally create the world you live in</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How conflict can actually deepen connection when rooted in shared purpose</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>And the powerful shift from <em>seeking belonging</em> → to <strong>creating a world others want to be part of</strong></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode is a reminder that:<br /><strong>You don’t find the village. You build it.</strong></p>
<p>And it might start… with you.</p>
<ol>
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“Friendship is not a side topic. It’s the pathway to everything.”</p>
<ol start="2">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“When there’s no village… life becomes undoable.”</p>
<ol start="3">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“What if we’re not looking for the right person… but remembering we were never separate to begin with?”</p>
<ol start="4">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“Friendship isn’t built on chemistry. It’s built on practice.”</p>
<ol start="5">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“What destroys friendship? Assumptions… stories… and silent resentment.”</p>
<ol start="6">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“Every conversation is an act of creation.”</p>
<ol start="7">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“You are either building a world someone wants to live in… or one they want to escape.”</p>
<ol start="8">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“The goal of friendship is not agreement—it’s alignment in purpose.”</p>
<ol start="9">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“Stop trying to be in someone else’s world. Create a world they want to be in.”</p>
<ol start="10">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“You don’t find the village. You build it.”</p>
<p><b>Where is the village?</b></p>
<p><b>What happens when everything falls apart at once…<br />and you realize there’s no one to call?</b></p>
<p><b>This episode is raw. It’s honest. It’s real life.</b></p>
<p><b>We talk about burnout, loneliness, and the truth no one says out loud:</b></p>
<p><b>Friendship isn’t optional.<br />It’s everything.</b></p>
<p><b>What if we were never separate to begin with?<br />What if connection isn’t something you find—but something you practice?<br />What if YOU are the one who creates the village?</b></p>
<p><b>This one is for anyone who feels like they’re carrying too much alone.</b></p>
<p><b>Listen now<br />#Friendship #Loneliness #HumanConnection #BuildYourVillage #EmotionalWellness #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld #ConnectionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #Community</b></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>friendship and loneliness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to build community</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>feeling alone in life</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>importance of human connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>building meaningful relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional burnout and support</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to make friends as an adult</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>personal growth and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>communication in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>creating community</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>When there’s no village… life becomes undoable.</p>
<p>Friendship isn’t built on chemistry. It’s built on practice.</p>
<p>Stop tryin...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Where’s the Village? Why Friendship Isn’t Optional—It’s Everything
When life feels overwhelming… when everything starts breaking at once… when you feel like you have no one to call, what’s really missing?
Fawn and Matt explore the truth most people avoid:
Friendship isn’t a luxury. It’s survival.
Drawing from timeless wisdom, Fawn and Matt's conversation reframe connection, success, and belonging.
Fawn opens up about burnout, loneliness, and the pressure of holding everything together without a “village”—and why so many of us are quietly living this way.
Together, they unpack:


Why chasing the “right people” or “right opportunities” creates more separation


How friendship is built through practice—not perfection


The hidden danger of assumptions, silent resentment, and emotional exhaustion


Why your words literally create the world you live in


How conflict can actually deepen connection when rooted in shared purpose


And the powerful shift from seeking belonging → to creating a world others want to be part of


This episode is a reminder that:You don’t find the village. You build it.
And it might start… with you.





“Friendship is not a side topic. It’s the pathway to everything.”





“When there’s no village… life becomes undoable.”





“What if we’re not looking for the right person… but remembering we were never separate to begin with?”





“Friendship isn’t built on chemistry. It’s built on practice.”





“What destroys friendship? Assumptions… stories… and silent resentment.”





“Every conversation is an act of creation.”





“You are either building a world someone wants to live in… or one they want to escape.”





“The goal of friendship is not agreement—it’s alignment in purpose.”





“Stop trying to be in someone else’s world. Create a world they want to be in.”





“You don’t find the village. You build it.”
Where is the village?
What happens when everything falls apart at once…and you realize there’s no one to call?
This episode is raw. It’s honest. It’s real life.
We talk about burnout, loneliness, and the truth no one says out loud:
Friendship isn’t optional.It’s everything.
What if we were never separate to begin with?What if connection isn’t something you find—but something you practice?What if YOU are the one who creates the village?
This one is for anyone who feels like they’re carrying too much alone.
Listen now#Friendship #Loneliness #HumanConnection #BuildYourVillage #EmotionalWellness #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld #ConnectionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #Community


friendship and loneliness


how to build community


feeling alone in life


importance of human connection


building meaningful relationships


emotional burnout and support


how to make friends as an adult


personal growth and relationships


communication in relationships


creating community


When there’s no village… life becomes undoable.
Friendship isn’t built on chemistry. It’s built on practice.
Stop tryin...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Where’s the Village? Why Friendship Isn’t Optional—It’s Everything]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>Where’s the Village? Why Friendship Isn’t Optional—It’s Everything</strong></p>
<p>When life feels overwhelming… when everything starts breaking at once… when you feel like you have no one to call, what’s really missing?</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt explore the truth most people avoid:</p>
<p><strong>Friendship isn’t a luxury. It’s survival.</strong></p>
<p>Drawing from timeless wisdom, Fawn and Matt's conversation reframe connection, success, and belonging.</p>
<p>Fawn opens up about burnout, loneliness, and the pressure of holding everything together without a “village”—and why so many of us are quietly living this way.</p>
<p>Together, they unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why chasing the “right people” or “right opportunities” creates more separation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How <strong>friendship is built through practice—not perfection</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The hidden danger of assumptions, silent resentment, and emotional exhaustion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why <strong>your words literally create the world you live in</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How conflict can actually deepen connection when rooted in shared purpose</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>And the powerful shift from <em>seeking belonging</em> → to <strong>creating a world others want to be part of</strong></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode is a reminder that:<br /><strong>You don’t find the village. You build it.</strong></p>
<p>And it might start… with you.</p>
<ol>
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“Friendship is not a side topic. It’s the pathway to everything.”</p>
<ol start="2">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“When there’s no village… life becomes undoable.”</p>
<ol start="3">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“What if we’re not looking for the right person… but remembering we were never separate to begin with?”</p>
<ol start="4">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“Friendship isn’t built on chemistry. It’s built on practice.”</p>
<ol start="5">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“What destroys friendship? Assumptions… stories… and silent resentment.”</p>
<ol start="6">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“Every conversation is an act of creation.”</p>
<ol start="7">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“You are either building a world someone wants to live in… or one they want to escape.”</p>
<ol start="8">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“The goal of friendship is not agreement—it’s alignment in purpose.”</p>
<ol start="9">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“Stop trying to be in someone else’s world. Create a world they want to be in.”</p>
<ol start="10">
<li>
<p></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>“You don’t find the village. You build it.”</p>
<p><b>Where is the village?</b></p>
<p><b>What happens when everything falls apart at once…<br />and you realize there’s no one to call?</b></p>
<p><b>This episode is raw. It’s honest. It’s real life.</b></p>
<p><b>We talk about burnout, loneliness, and the truth no one says out loud:</b></p>
<p><b>Friendship isn’t optional.<br />It’s everything.</b></p>
<p><b>What if we were never separate to begin with?<br />What if connection isn’t something you find—but something you practice?<br />What if YOU are the one who creates the village?</b></p>
<p><b>This one is for anyone who feels like they’re carrying too much alone.</b></p>
<p><b>Listen now<br />#Friendship #Loneliness #HumanConnection #BuildYourVillage #EmotionalWellness #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld #ConnectionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #Community</b></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>friendship and loneliness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to build community</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>feeling alone in life</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>importance of human connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>building meaningful relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional burnout and support</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to make friends as an adult</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>personal growth and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>communication in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>creating community</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>When there’s no village… life becomes undoable.</p>
<p>Friendship isn’t built on chemistry. It’s built on practice.</p>
<p>Stop trying to be in someone else’s world. Create a world they want to be in.</p>
<p>“May we have the courage to see each other clearly…<br />to choose connection over separation…<br />and to build the kind of world where no one has to do life alone.” <br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2414548/c1e-w329bv3659s0gzoq-1prnp0jmuvk2-pbd0pu.mp3" length="20638985"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Where’s the Village? Why Friendship Isn’t Optional—It’s Everything
When life feels overwhelming… when everything starts breaking at once… when you feel like you have no one to call, what’s really missing?
Fawn and Matt explore the truth most people avoid:
Friendship isn’t a luxury. It’s survival.
Drawing from timeless wisdom, Fawn and Matt's conversation reframe connection, success, and belonging.
Fawn opens up about burnout, loneliness, and the pressure of holding everything together without a “village”—and why so many of us are quietly living this way.
Together, they unpack:


Why chasing the “right people” or “right opportunities” creates more separation


How friendship is built through practice—not perfection


The hidden danger of assumptions, silent resentment, and emotional exhaustion


Why your words literally create the world you live in


How conflict can actually deepen connection when rooted in shared purpose


And the powerful shift from seeking belonging → to creating a world others want to be part of


This episode is a reminder that:You don’t find the village. You build it.
And it might start… with you.





“Friendship is not a side topic. It’s the pathway to everything.”





“When there’s no village… life becomes undoable.”





“What if we’re not looking for the right person… but remembering we were never separate to begin with?”





“Friendship isn’t built on chemistry. It’s built on practice.”





“What destroys friendship? Assumptions… stories… and silent resentment.”





“Every conversation is an act of creation.”





“You are either building a world someone wants to live in… or one they want to escape.”





“The goal of friendship is not agreement—it’s alignment in purpose.”





“Stop trying to be in someone else’s world. Create a world they want to be in.”





“You don’t find the village. You build it.”
Where is the village?
What happens when everything falls apart at once…and you realize there’s no one to call?
This episode is raw. It’s honest. It’s real life.
We talk about burnout, loneliness, and the truth no one says out loud:
Friendship isn’t optional.It’s everything.
What if we were never separate to begin with?What if connection isn’t something you find—but something you practice?What if YOU are the one who creates the village?
This one is for anyone who feels like they’re carrying too much alone.
Listen now#Friendship #Loneliness #HumanConnection #BuildYourVillage #EmotionalWellness #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld #ConnectionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #Community


friendship and loneliness


how to build community


feeling alone in life


importance of human connection


building meaningful relationships


emotional burnout and support


how to make friends as an adult


personal growth and relationships


communication in relationships


creating community


When there’s no village… life becomes undoable.
Friendship isn’t built on chemistry. It’s built on practice.
Stop tryin...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2414548/c1a-8j1v-34xz4kj8uqq-feworl.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:29</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Angels in Disguise: How Friendship Finds You in Unexpected Moments]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Mar 2026 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2408959</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/angels-in-disguise-how-friendship-finds-you-in-unexpected-moments</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Some nights feel heavier than others.</p>
<p>The kind of night where something happens and you don’t know who to call.<br />The kind where the world feels very quiet—and very far away.</p>
<p>This is one of those stories.</p>
<p>In this short, unfiltered episode, Fawn shares what it felt like to move through an unexpected emergency on almost no sleep, and the surprising truth that revealed itself in the middle of it all:</p>
<p>Even when it feels like no one is there, someone always is.</p>
<p>It may not always in the way you expect, or in the form you recognize.</p>
<p>But in small moments, through a stranger’s kindness, a simple reassurance, a few steady words, connection finds its way back to you.</p>
<p>This episode is a gentle reminder:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>that strength lives inside you</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>that help can appear in unexpected places</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>and that sometimes, friendship begins in a single moment of being seen</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>If you’ve been feeling alone lately…<br />stay for this one.</p>
<p>It’s only a few minutes.<br />But it might shift something in your heart.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Sometimes the “angels” in your life are only there for a moment.<br />To help. To guide. To say exactly what you need to hear.</p>
<p>And then they disappear.</p>
<p>But their message stays.</p>
<p>“Everything will be okay.”</p>
<p>This week’s episode is only 5 minutes long, but it might be the one someone needs most.</p>
<p>Listen now<br />And if this resonates, please share it with someone who might need to hear it too</p>
<p>#Friendship #YouAreNotAlone #KindnessMatters #HumanConnection #PodcastLife #EmotionalWellness #Compassion #HealingTogether #VoiceMatters #HeartCentered #SpreadKindness #PodcastCommunity</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Some nights feel heavier than others.
The kind of night where something happens and you don’t know who to call.The kind where the world feels very quiet—and very far away.
This is one of those stories.
In this short, unfiltered episode, Fawn shares what it felt like to move through an unexpected emergency on almost no sleep, and the surprising truth that revealed itself in the middle of it all:
Even when it feels like no one is there, someone always is.
It may not always in the way you expect, or in the form you recognize.
But in small moments, through a stranger’s kindness, a simple reassurance, a few steady words, connection finds its way back to you.
This episode is a gentle reminder:


that strength lives inside you


that help can appear in unexpected places


and that sometimes, friendship begins in a single moment of being seen


If you’ve been feeling alone lately…stay for this one.
It’s only a few minutes.But it might shift something in your heart.

Sometimes the “angels” in your life are only there for a moment.To help. To guide. To say exactly what you need to hear.
And then they disappear.
But their message stays.
“Everything will be okay.”
This week’s episode is only 5 minutes long, but it might be the one someone needs most.
Listen nowAnd if this resonates, please share it with someone who might need to hear it too
#Friendship #YouAreNotAlone #KindnessMatters #HumanConnection #PodcastLife #EmotionalWellness #Compassion #HealingTogether #VoiceMatters #HeartCentered #SpreadKindness #PodcastCommunity]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Angels in Disguise: How Friendship Finds You in Unexpected Moments]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Some nights feel heavier than others.</p>
<p>The kind of night where something happens and you don’t know who to call.<br />The kind where the world feels very quiet—and very far away.</p>
<p>This is one of those stories.</p>
<p>In this short, unfiltered episode, Fawn shares what it felt like to move through an unexpected emergency on almost no sleep, and the surprising truth that revealed itself in the middle of it all:</p>
<p>Even when it feels like no one is there, someone always is.</p>
<p>It may not always in the way you expect, or in the form you recognize.</p>
<p>But in small moments, through a stranger’s kindness, a simple reassurance, a few steady words, connection finds its way back to you.</p>
<p>This episode is a gentle reminder:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>that strength lives inside you</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>that help can appear in unexpected places</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>and that sometimes, friendship begins in a single moment of being seen</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>If you’ve been feeling alone lately…<br />stay for this one.</p>
<p>It’s only a few minutes.<br />But it might shift something in your heart.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Sometimes the “angels” in your life are only there for a moment.<br />To help. To guide. To say exactly what you need to hear.</p>
<p>And then they disappear.</p>
<p>But their message stays.</p>
<p>“Everything will be okay.”</p>
<p>This week’s episode is only 5 minutes long, but it might be the one someone needs most.</p>
<p>Listen now<br />And if this resonates, please share it with someone who might need to hear it too</p>
<p>#Friendship #YouAreNotAlone #KindnessMatters #HumanConnection #PodcastLife #EmotionalWellness #Compassion #HealingTogether #VoiceMatters #HeartCentered #SpreadKindness #PodcastCommunity</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2408959/c1e-p6ombw115wamo950-34x8v63ka6w5-kcxbwf.mp3" length="4993449"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Some nights feel heavier than others.
The kind of night where something happens and you don’t know who to call.The kind where the world feels very quiet—and very far away.
This is one of those stories.
In this short, unfiltered episode, Fawn shares what it felt like to move through an unexpected emergency on almost no sleep, and the surprising truth that revealed itself in the middle of it all:
Even when it feels like no one is there, someone always is.
It may not always in the way you expect, or in the form you recognize.
But in small moments, through a stranger’s kindness, a simple reassurance, a few steady words, connection finds its way back to you.
This episode is a gentle reminder:


that strength lives inside you


that help can appear in unexpected places


and that sometimes, friendship begins in a single moment of being seen


If you’ve been feeling alone lately…stay for this one.
It’s only a few minutes.But it might shift something in your heart.

Sometimes the “angels” in your life are only there for a moment.To help. To guide. To say exactly what you need to hear.
And then they disappear.
But their message stays.
“Everything will be okay.”
This week’s episode is only 5 minutes long, but it might be the one someone needs most.
Listen nowAnd if this resonates, please share it with someone who might need to hear it too
#Friendship #YouAreNotAlone #KindnessMatters #HumanConnection #PodcastLife #EmotionalWellness #Compassion #HealingTogether #VoiceMatters #HeartCentered #SpreadKindness #PodcastCommunity]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2408959/c1a-8j1v-6z95760wsqv2-7s7zk5.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:05:12</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Why Love Languages Don’t Work in Friendship (And What Actually Does)”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2026 02:04:10 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2403253</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/why-love-languages-dont-work-in-friendship-and-what-actually-does</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode, we take an honest, unfiltered look at love languages—not as a solution, but as a starting point.</p>
<p>We explore why love languages can feel limiting or even frustrating, how the same gesture can feel meaningful to one person and overwhelming to another, the disconnect between intention and impact, and why friendships are far more nuanced than any “five-category” system</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>emotional needs in friendship, why friendships feel one-sided, how to communicate in friendships, modern friendship struggles, emotional intelligence in relationships</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipMatters #LoveLanguages #EmotionalConnection #AuthenticRelationships #Loneliness #RealTalk #SelfAwareness #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, we take an honest, unfiltered look at love languages—not as a solution, but as a starting point.
We explore why love languages can feel limiting or even frustrating, how the same gesture can feel meaningful to one person and overwhelming to another, the disconnect between intention and impact, and why friendships are far more nuanced than any “five-category” system

emotional needs in friendship, why friendships feel one-sided, how to communicate in friendships, modern friendship struggles, emotional intelligence in relationships
#FriendshipMatters #LoveLanguages #EmotionalConnection #AuthenticRelationships #Loneliness #RealTalk #SelfAwareness #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Why Love Languages Don’t Work in Friendship (And What Actually Does)”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode, we take an honest, unfiltered look at love languages—not as a solution, but as a starting point.</p>
<p>We explore why love languages can feel limiting or even frustrating, how the same gesture can feel meaningful to one person and overwhelming to another, the disconnect between intention and impact, and why friendships are far more nuanced than any “five-category” system</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>emotional needs in friendship, why friendships feel one-sided, how to communicate in friendships, modern friendship struggles, emotional intelligence in relationships</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipMatters #LoveLanguages #EmotionalConnection #AuthenticRelationships #Loneliness #RealTalk #SelfAwareness #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2403253/c1e-7jgvav40vxud6vk1-ww7o24jmu75d-fn9euj.mp3" length="18602641"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, we take an honest, unfiltered look at love languages—not as a solution, but as a starting point.
We explore why love languages can feel limiting or even frustrating, how the same gesture can feel meaningful to one person and overwhelming to another, the disconnect between intention and impact, and why friendships are far more nuanced than any “five-category” system

emotional needs in friendship, why friendships feel one-sided, how to communicate in friendships, modern friendship struggles, emotional intelligence in relationships
#FriendshipMatters #LoveLanguages #EmotionalConnection #AuthenticRelationships #Loneliness #RealTalk #SelfAwareness #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2403253/c1a-8j1v-25069837s04-nehh3u.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:19:22</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“How to Build a Village: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Real Community”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Mar 2026 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2397200</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-build-a-village-a-step-by-step-guide-to-creating-real-community</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What if rebuilding community isn’t complicated…<br />what if it simply requires a few intentional steps?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn and Matt offer a <strong>clear, step-by-step guide to rebuilding the village</strong> — the kind of real, human community many people feel has disappeared.</p>
<p>But the truth is: <strong>the village never left.</strong><br />It’s still here, waiting to be opened again.</p>
<p>Through thoughtful conversation and personal stories, Fawn and Matt walk listeners through <strong>practical steps anyone can take to begin building meaningful community</strong>, starting with something as simple as opening the door.</p>
<p>This episode explores how one person can begin creating a ripple of connection that grows into a thriving village.</p>
<p>In this step-by-step conversation, you’ll learn how to:</p>
<p>• <strong>Practice radical hospitality</strong> and make people feel welcome<br />• <strong>See the beauty and value in every person</strong>, strengthening human dignity<br />• <strong>Start small gatherings</strong> that celebrate everyday life<br />• <strong>Create regular rhythms of connection</strong> that people can rely on<br />• <strong>Use the shared table</strong> as a powerful center for community<br />• <strong>Build kindness and mutual care</strong> into everyday interactions<br />• <strong>Empower others to participate</strong>, transforming guests into builders</p>
<p>Fawn shares stories from her own life — from Sunday champagne gatherings where neighbors celebrated small wins, to the long journey of finding ways to bring people back to the table.</p>
<p>Together, Fawn and Matt also explore the <strong>five stages of growing a village</strong>, showing how communities naturally evolve from a single welcoming light to a shared culture of belonging.</p>
<p>This episode is both <strong>an invitation and a practical guide</strong> — a reminder that community does not require institutions, large events, or perfect conditions.</p>
<p>It begins with a simple decision:</p>
<p>Leave the light on.<br />Set the table.<br />Invite someone in.</p>
<p>The village is still here.</p>
<p>And this episode will show you <strong>how to start building it.</strong></p>
<p>Feeling disconnected from community?</p>
<p>In this episode, Fawn and Matt share a <strong>step-by-step guide to rebuilding the village</strong>, offering practical ways to create meaningful connection through hospitality, shared gatherings, kindness, and simple everyday rituals.</p>
<p>how to build community<br />step by step community building<br />how to create a village<br />how to build friendships<br />community building guide<br />overcoming loneliness<br />how to host gatherings<br />how to start a community group<br />hospitality and belonging<br />creating meaningful relationships<br />how to build connection<br />friendship and community podcast<br />shared meals and connection<br />building social circles</p>
<p>#BuildTheVillage<br />#HowToBuildCommunity<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#ArtOfFriendship<br />#ConnectionMatters<br />#Hospitality<br />#EndLoneliness<br />#CommunityGuide<br />#GatherTogether<br />#Belonging<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#KindnessCulture</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What if rebuilding community isn’t complicated…what if it simply requires a few intentional steps?
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn and Matt offer a clear, step-by-step guide to rebuilding the village — the kind of real, human community many people feel has disappeared.
But the truth is: the village never left.It’s still here, waiting to be opened again.
Through thoughtful conversation and personal stories, Fawn and Matt walk listeners through practical steps anyone can take to begin building meaningful community, starting with something as simple as opening the door.
This episode explores how one person can begin creating a ripple of connection that grows into a thriving village.
In this step-by-step conversation, you’ll learn how to:
• Practice radical hospitality and make people feel welcome• See the beauty and value in every person, strengthening human dignity• Start small gatherings that celebrate everyday life• Create regular rhythms of connection that people can rely on• Use the shared table as a powerful center for community• Build kindness and mutual care into everyday interactions• Empower others to participate, transforming guests into builders
Fawn shares stories from her own life — from Sunday champagne gatherings where neighbors celebrated small wins, to the long journey of finding ways to bring people back to the table.
Together, Fawn and Matt also explore the five stages of growing a village, showing how communities naturally evolve from a single welcoming light to a shared culture of belonging.
This episode is both an invitation and a practical guide — a reminder that community does not require institutions, large events, or perfect conditions.
It begins with a simple decision:
Leave the light on.Set the table.Invite someone in.
The village is still here.
And this episode will show you how to start building it.
Feeling disconnected from community?
In this episode, Fawn and Matt share a step-by-step guide to rebuilding the village, offering practical ways to create meaningful connection through hospitality, shared gatherings, kindness, and simple everyday rituals.
how to build communitystep by step community buildinghow to create a villagehow to build friendshipscommunity building guideovercoming lonelinesshow to host gatheringshow to start a community grouphospitality and belongingcreating meaningful relationshipshow to build connectionfriendship and community podcastshared meals and connectionbuilding social circles
#BuildTheVillage#HowToBuildCommunity#OurFriendlyWorld#ArtOfFriendship#ConnectionMatters#Hospitality#EndLoneliness#CommunityGuide#GatherTogether#Belonging#FriendshipMatters#KindnessCulture
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“How to Build a Village: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Real Community”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What if rebuilding community isn’t complicated…<br />what if it simply requires a few intentional steps?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn and Matt offer a <strong>clear, step-by-step guide to rebuilding the village</strong> — the kind of real, human community many people feel has disappeared.</p>
<p>But the truth is: <strong>the village never left.</strong><br />It’s still here, waiting to be opened again.</p>
<p>Through thoughtful conversation and personal stories, Fawn and Matt walk listeners through <strong>practical steps anyone can take to begin building meaningful community</strong>, starting with something as simple as opening the door.</p>
<p>This episode explores how one person can begin creating a ripple of connection that grows into a thriving village.</p>
<p>In this step-by-step conversation, you’ll learn how to:</p>
<p>• <strong>Practice radical hospitality</strong> and make people feel welcome<br />• <strong>See the beauty and value in every person</strong>, strengthening human dignity<br />• <strong>Start small gatherings</strong> that celebrate everyday life<br />• <strong>Create regular rhythms of connection</strong> that people can rely on<br />• <strong>Use the shared table</strong> as a powerful center for community<br />• <strong>Build kindness and mutual care</strong> into everyday interactions<br />• <strong>Empower others to participate</strong>, transforming guests into builders</p>
<p>Fawn shares stories from her own life — from Sunday champagne gatherings where neighbors celebrated small wins, to the long journey of finding ways to bring people back to the table.</p>
<p>Together, Fawn and Matt also explore the <strong>five stages of growing a village</strong>, showing how communities naturally evolve from a single welcoming light to a shared culture of belonging.</p>
<p>This episode is both <strong>an invitation and a practical guide</strong> — a reminder that community does not require institutions, large events, or perfect conditions.</p>
<p>It begins with a simple decision:</p>
<p>Leave the light on.<br />Set the table.<br />Invite someone in.</p>
<p>The village is still here.</p>
<p>And this episode will show you <strong>how to start building it.</strong></p>
<p>Feeling disconnected from community?</p>
<p>In this episode, Fawn and Matt share a <strong>step-by-step guide to rebuilding the village</strong>, offering practical ways to create meaningful connection through hospitality, shared gatherings, kindness, and simple everyday rituals.</p>
<p>how to build community<br />step by step community building<br />how to create a village<br />how to build friendships<br />community building guide<br />overcoming loneliness<br />how to host gatherings<br />how to start a community group<br />hospitality and belonging<br />creating meaningful relationships<br />how to build connection<br />friendship and community podcast<br />shared meals and connection<br />building social circles</p>
<p>#BuildTheVillage<br />#HowToBuildCommunity<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#ArtOfFriendship<br />#ConnectionMatters<br />#Hospitality<br />#EndLoneliness<br />#CommunityGuide<br />#GatherTogether<br />#Belonging<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#KindnessCulture</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2397200/c1e-p6ombw5o2mbmow0g-8d0zkr35bvgk-mzrmoh.mp3" length="22178739"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What if rebuilding community isn’t complicated…what if it simply requires a few intentional steps?
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn and Matt offer a clear, step-by-step guide to rebuilding the village — the kind of real, human community many people feel has disappeared.
But the truth is: the village never left.It’s still here, waiting to be opened again.
Through thoughtful conversation and personal stories, Fawn and Matt walk listeners through practical steps anyone can take to begin building meaningful community, starting with something as simple as opening the door.
This episode explores how one person can begin creating a ripple of connection that grows into a thriving village.
In this step-by-step conversation, you’ll learn how to:
• Practice radical hospitality and make people feel welcome• See the beauty and value in every person, strengthening human dignity• Start small gatherings that celebrate everyday life• Create regular rhythms of connection that people can rely on• Use the shared table as a powerful center for community• Build kindness and mutual care into everyday interactions• Empower others to participate, transforming guests into builders
Fawn shares stories from her own life — from Sunday champagne gatherings where neighbors celebrated small wins, to the long journey of finding ways to bring people back to the table.
Together, Fawn and Matt also explore the five stages of growing a village, showing how communities naturally evolve from a single welcoming light to a shared culture of belonging.
This episode is both an invitation and a practical guide — a reminder that community does not require institutions, large events, or perfect conditions.
It begins with a simple decision:
Leave the light on.Set the table.Invite someone in.
The village is still here.
And this episode will show you how to start building it.
Feeling disconnected from community?
In this episode, Fawn and Matt share a step-by-step guide to rebuilding the village, offering practical ways to create meaningful connection through hospitality, shared gatherings, kindness, and simple everyday rituals.
how to build communitystep by step community buildinghow to create a villagehow to build friendshipscommunity building guideovercoming lonelinesshow to host gatheringshow to start a community grouphospitality and belongingcreating meaningful relationshipshow to build connectionfriendship and community podcastshared meals and connectionbuilding social circles
#BuildTheVillage#HowToBuildCommunity#OurFriendlyWorld#ArtOfFriendship#ConnectionMatters#Hospitality#EndLoneliness#CommunityGuide#GatherTogether#Belonging#FriendshipMatters#KindnessCulture
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2397200/c1a-8j1v-5z3mpxwvc7mq-vq4frb.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friction Maxing: Why Frustration Might Be Exactly What We Need]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Mar 2026 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2387472</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friction-maxing-why-frustration-might-be-exactly-what-we-need</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Frustration is something most of us try to avoid.</p>
<p>But what if frustration is actually one of the <strong>most important tools we have for growth, creativity, and meaningful relationships</strong>?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the surprising role frustration plays in shaping our resilience. In a world increasingly designed to remove obstacles—through technology, convenience, and even artificial intelligence—we may also be losing something essential: the ability to adapt, think deeply, and navigate life’s inevitable challenges.</p>
<p>From navigation apps that tell us exactly where to go, to AI tools that summarize our thoughts for us, modern life is becoming frictionless. But is that actually good for us?</p>
<p>Fawn shares a deeply personal story about returning to her photography career after years of trauma and isolation—and the moment she realized fear had quietly replaced the adventurous spirit that once took her across the world. What followed was a powerful lesson about facing frustration instead of avoiding it.</p>
<p>Together, Fawn and Matt discuss:</p>
<p>• Why frustration can be a form of <strong>resistance training for life</strong><br />• How convenience and AI may be weakening our ability to think and adapt<br />• The concept of <strong>“friction maxing”</strong>—intentionally embracing challenges<br />• Why relationships require emotional resilience<br />• How discomfort can lead us back to creativity, courage, and connection</p>
<p>Frustration isn’t the enemy.</p>
<p>It might just be the training ground that helps us become stronger, wiser, and more capable of navigating an uncertain world.</p>
<p>In this episode:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why modern life is eliminating the frustrations that once built resilience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How technology can sometimes weaken our ability to think and adapt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fawn’s story about rediscovering courage after trauma</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The difference between avoiding discomfort and growing through it</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why frustration is essential for strong friendships and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The idea of <strong>“friction maxing”</strong> as a way to build strength in everyday life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Key takeaway:</p>
<p>Frustration isn’t a failure.<br />It’s a signal that growth is happening.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>frustration and growth<br />resilience mindset<br />building emotional resilience<br />personal growth podcast<br />technology and deep thinking<br />AI and human creativity<br />how to overcome fear<br />building stronger relationships<br />psychology of frustration<br />self development conversation<br />modern life and convenience<br />coping with uncertainty</p>
<p>#PersonalGrowth<br />#Resilience<br />#EmotionalStrength<br />#GrowthMindset<br />#HumanConnection<br />#LifeLessons<br />#SelfDevelopment<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#PodcastLife<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Frustration is something most of us try to avoid.
But what if frustration is actually one of the most important tools we have for growth, creativity, and meaningful relationships?
In this episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the surprising role frustration plays in shaping our resilience. In a world increasingly designed to remove obstacles—through technology, convenience, and even artificial intelligence—we may also be losing something essential: the ability to adapt, think deeply, and navigate life’s inevitable challenges.
From navigation apps that tell us exactly where to go, to AI tools that summarize our thoughts for us, modern life is becoming frictionless. But is that actually good for us?
Fawn shares a deeply personal story about returning to her photography career after years of trauma and isolation—and the moment she realized fear had quietly replaced the adventurous spirit that once took her across the world. What followed was a powerful lesson about facing frustration instead of avoiding it.
Together, Fawn and Matt discuss:
• Why frustration can be a form of resistance training for life• How convenience and AI may be weakening our ability to think and adapt• The concept of “friction maxing”—intentionally embracing challenges• Why relationships require emotional resilience• How discomfort can lead us back to creativity, courage, and connection
Frustration isn’t the enemy.
It might just be the training ground that helps us become stronger, wiser, and more capable of navigating an uncertain world.
In this episode:


Why modern life is eliminating the frustrations that once built resilience


How technology can sometimes weaken our ability to think and adapt


Fawn’s story about rediscovering courage after trauma


The difference between avoiding discomfort and growing through it


Why frustration is essential for strong friendships and relationships


The idea of “friction maxing” as a way to build strength in everyday life


Key takeaway:
Frustration isn’t a failure.It’s a signal that growth is happening.

frustration and growthresilience mindsetbuilding emotional resiliencepersonal growth podcasttechnology and deep thinkingAI and human creativityhow to overcome fearbuilding stronger relationshipspsychology of frustrationself development conversationmodern life and conveniencecoping with uncertainty
#PersonalGrowth#Resilience#EmotionalStrength#GrowthMindset#HumanConnection#LifeLessons#SelfDevelopment#FriendshipMatters#PodcastLife#OurFriendlyWorld
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friction Maxing: Why Frustration Might Be Exactly What We Need]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Frustration is something most of us try to avoid.</p>
<p>But what if frustration is actually one of the <strong>most important tools we have for growth, creativity, and meaningful relationships</strong>?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the surprising role frustration plays in shaping our resilience. In a world increasingly designed to remove obstacles—through technology, convenience, and even artificial intelligence—we may also be losing something essential: the ability to adapt, think deeply, and navigate life’s inevitable challenges.</p>
<p>From navigation apps that tell us exactly where to go, to AI tools that summarize our thoughts for us, modern life is becoming frictionless. But is that actually good for us?</p>
<p>Fawn shares a deeply personal story about returning to her photography career after years of trauma and isolation—and the moment she realized fear had quietly replaced the adventurous spirit that once took her across the world. What followed was a powerful lesson about facing frustration instead of avoiding it.</p>
<p>Together, Fawn and Matt discuss:</p>
<p>• Why frustration can be a form of <strong>resistance training for life</strong><br />• How convenience and AI may be weakening our ability to think and adapt<br />• The concept of <strong>“friction maxing”</strong>—intentionally embracing challenges<br />• Why relationships require emotional resilience<br />• How discomfort can lead us back to creativity, courage, and connection</p>
<p>Frustration isn’t the enemy.</p>
<p>It might just be the training ground that helps us become stronger, wiser, and more capable of navigating an uncertain world.</p>
<p>In this episode:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why modern life is eliminating the frustrations that once built resilience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How technology can sometimes weaken our ability to think and adapt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fawn’s story about rediscovering courage after trauma</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The difference between avoiding discomfort and growing through it</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why frustration is essential for strong friendships and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The idea of <strong>“friction maxing”</strong> as a way to build strength in everyday life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Key takeaway:</p>
<p>Frustration isn’t a failure.<br />It’s a signal that growth is happening.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>frustration and growth<br />resilience mindset<br />building emotional resilience<br />personal growth podcast<br />technology and deep thinking<br />AI and human creativity<br />how to overcome fear<br />building stronger relationships<br />psychology of frustration<br />self development conversation<br />modern life and convenience<br />coping with uncertainty</p>
<p>#PersonalGrowth<br />#Resilience<br />#EmotionalStrength<br />#GrowthMindset<br />#HumanConnection<br />#LifeLessons<br />#SelfDevelopment<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#PodcastLife<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2387472/c1e-n670bz36nmh9z4zj-xx79z168toj0-fajdnv.mp3" length="32052535"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Frustration is something most of us try to avoid.
But what if frustration is actually one of the most important tools we have for growth, creativity, and meaningful relationships?
In this episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the surprising role frustration plays in shaping our resilience. In a world increasingly designed to remove obstacles—through technology, convenience, and even artificial intelligence—we may also be losing something essential: the ability to adapt, think deeply, and navigate life’s inevitable challenges.
From navigation apps that tell us exactly where to go, to AI tools that summarize our thoughts for us, modern life is becoming frictionless. But is that actually good for us?
Fawn shares a deeply personal story about returning to her photography career after years of trauma and isolation—and the moment she realized fear had quietly replaced the adventurous spirit that once took her across the world. What followed was a powerful lesson about facing frustration instead of avoiding it.
Together, Fawn and Matt discuss:
• Why frustration can be a form of resistance training for life• How convenience and AI may be weakening our ability to think and adapt• The concept of “friction maxing”—intentionally embracing challenges• Why relationships require emotional resilience• How discomfort can lead us back to creativity, courage, and connection
Frustration isn’t the enemy.
It might just be the training ground that helps us become stronger, wiser, and more capable of navigating an uncertain world.
In this episode:


Why modern life is eliminating the frustrations that once built resilience


How technology can sometimes weaken our ability to think and adapt


Fawn’s story about rediscovering courage after trauma


The difference between avoiding discomfort and growing through it


Why frustration is essential for strong friendships and relationships


The idea of “friction maxing” as a way to build strength in everyday life


Key takeaway:
Frustration isn’t a failure.It’s a signal that growth is happening.

frustration and growthresilience mindsetbuilding emotional resiliencepersonal growth podcasttechnology and deep thinkingAI and human creativityhow to overcome fearbuilding stronger relationshipspsychology of frustrationself development conversationmodern life and conveniencecoping with uncertainty
#PersonalGrowth#Resilience#EmotionalStrength#GrowthMindset#HumanConnection#LifeLessons#SelfDevelopment#FriendshipMatters#PodcastLife#OurFriendlyWorld
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2387472/c1a-8j1v-ww73g2q6bq0j-susuga.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:33:23</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Three Levels of Friendship in an AI World - Are We Replacing Friends with Algorithms?]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Mar 2026 06:47:47 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2380307</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-three-levels-of-friendship-in-an-ai-world-are-we-replacing-friends-with-algorithms</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this honest and reflective episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the deeper layers of friendship through the lens of the three classic friendship types described in Aristotle’s <em>Nicomachean Ethics</em>: friendships of pleasure, utility, and virtue.</p>
<p>They unpack a powerful realization—how easy it is to slip into “What do I get?” relationships—and how modern technology, algorithms, and even AI can quietly reinforce that mindset.</p>
<p>Fawn shares her current season of emotional retreat and healing after relational disappointment, while Matt reflects on rediscovering everyday community. Together, they explore:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why authentic friendships sometimes require stepping back</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How AI and search culture (hello, Google) are changing how we lean on people</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The emotional difference between synthetic connection and organic human presence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why storytelling and shared experiences feel different today</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How patience and emotional risk are essential for real friendship</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Along the way, they discuss nostalgia, vulnerability, and even a high-school moment involving Iron Maiden that reveals how deeply we all want to be seen and understood.</p>
<p>This episode is both a gentle warning and a hopeful reminder: real friendship still lives where presence, patience, and sincerity meet.</p>
<h2>Key Themes</h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The three types of friendship (pleasure, utility, virtue)</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Emotional seasons in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI vs. authentic connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Social fatigue and healing after relational hurt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Storytelling and shared experience in modern culture</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Patience and vulnerability in friendship</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h2></h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p>deep friendship podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>types of friendship Aristotle</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>authentic relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship in the age of AI</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional boundaries friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship burnout</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>real vs artificial connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>modern loneliness discussion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>relationship psychology podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>human connection podcast</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast<br />#AuthenticConnection<br />#ModernFriendship<br />#HumanConnection<br />#EmotionalWellness<br />#AIandSociety<br />#RelationshipGrowth<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#PodcastLife<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p>Are we slowly replacing friendships with algorithms?</p>
<p>This week we explore the three types of friendship, emotional seasons of connection, and why real human relationships still require vulnerability, patience, and risk.</p>
<p>Sometimes stepping back is part of finding deeper friendship.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this honest and reflective episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the deeper layers of friendship through the lens of the three classic friendship types described in Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics: friendships of pleasure, utility, and virtue.
They unpack a powerful realization—how easy it is to slip into “What do I get?” relationships—and how modern technology, algorithms, and even AI can quietly reinforce that mindset.
Fawn shares her current season of emotional retreat and healing after relational disappointment, while Matt reflects on rediscovering everyday community. Together, they explore:


Why authentic friendships sometimes require stepping back


How AI and search culture (hello, Google) are changing how we lean on people


The emotional difference between synthetic connection and organic human presence


Why storytelling and shared experiences feel different today


How patience and emotional risk are essential for real friendship


Along the way, they discuss nostalgia, vulnerability, and even a high-school moment involving Iron Maiden that reveals how deeply we all want to be seen and understood.
This episode is both a gentle warning and a hopeful reminder: real friendship still lives where presence, patience, and sincerity meet.
Key Themes


The three types of friendship (pleasure, utility, virtue)


Emotional seasons in relationships


AI vs. authentic connection


Social fatigue and healing after relational hurt


Storytelling and shared experience in modern culture


Patience and vulnerability in friendship





deep friendship podcast


types of friendship Aristotle


authentic relationships


friendship in the age of AI


emotional boundaries friendships


friendship burnout


real vs artificial connection


modern loneliness discussion


relationship psychology podcast


human connection podcast


#FriendshipPodcast#AuthenticConnection#ModernFriendship#HumanConnection#EmotionalWellness#AIandSociety#RelationshipGrowth#FriendshipMatters#PodcastLife#OurFriendlyWorld
Are we slowly replacing friendships with algorithms?
This week we explore the three types of friendship, emotional seasons of connection, and why real human relationships still require vulnerability, patience, and risk.
Sometimes stepping back is part of finding deeper friendship.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Three Levels of Friendship in an AI World - Are We Replacing Friends with Algorithms?]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this honest and reflective episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the deeper layers of friendship through the lens of the three classic friendship types described in Aristotle’s <em>Nicomachean Ethics</em>: friendships of pleasure, utility, and virtue.</p>
<p>They unpack a powerful realization—how easy it is to slip into “What do I get?” relationships—and how modern technology, algorithms, and even AI can quietly reinforce that mindset.</p>
<p>Fawn shares her current season of emotional retreat and healing after relational disappointment, while Matt reflects on rediscovering everyday community. Together, they explore:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why authentic friendships sometimes require stepping back</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How AI and search culture (hello, Google) are changing how we lean on people</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The emotional difference between synthetic connection and organic human presence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why storytelling and shared experiences feel different today</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How patience and emotional risk are essential for real friendship</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Along the way, they discuss nostalgia, vulnerability, and even a high-school moment involving Iron Maiden that reveals how deeply we all want to be seen and understood.</p>
<p>This episode is both a gentle warning and a hopeful reminder: real friendship still lives where presence, patience, and sincerity meet.</p>
<h2>Key Themes</h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The three types of friendship (pleasure, utility, virtue)</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Emotional seasons in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI vs. authentic connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Social fatigue and healing after relational hurt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Storytelling and shared experience in modern culture</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Patience and vulnerability in friendship</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h2></h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p>deep friendship podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>types of friendship Aristotle</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>authentic relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship in the age of AI</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional boundaries friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship burnout</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>real vs artificial connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>modern loneliness discussion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>relationship psychology podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>human connection podcast</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast<br />#AuthenticConnection<br />#ModernFriendship<br />#HumanConnection<br />#EmotionalWellness<br />#AIandSociety<br />#RelationshipGrowth<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#PodcastLife<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p>Are we slowly replacing friendships with algorithms?</p>
<p>This week we explore the three types of friendship, emotional seasons of connection, and why real human relationships still require vulnerability, patience, and risk.</p>
<p>Sometimes stepping back is part of finding deeper friendship.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2380307/c1e-g6g1brvvppt24947-1prwrrmdtn6n-hjnbxi.mp3" length="16770272"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this honest and reflective episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the deeper layers of friendship through the lens of the three classic friendship types described in Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics: friendships of pleasure, utility, and virtue.
They unpack a powerful realization—how easy it is to slip into “What do I get?” relationships—and how modern technology, algorithms, and even AI can quietly reinforce that mindset.
Fawn shares her current season of emotional retreat and healing after relational disappointment, while Matt reflects on rediscovering everyday community. Together, they explore:


Why authentic friendships sometimes require stepping back


How AI and search culture (hello, Google) are changing how we lean on people


The emotional difference between synthetic connection and organic human presence


Why storytelling and shared experiences feel different today


How patience and emotional risk are essential for real friendship


Along the way, they discuss nostalgia, vulnerability, and even a high-school moment involving Iron Maiden that reveals how deeply we all want to be seen and understood.
This episode is both a gentle warning and a hopeful reminder: real friendship still lives where presence, patience, and sincerity meet.
Key Themes


The three types of friendship (pleasure, utility, virtue)


Emotional seasons in relationships


AI vs. authentic connection


Social fatigue and healing after relational hurt


Storytelling and shared experience in modern culture


Patience and vulnerability in friendship





deep friendship podcast


types of friendship Aristotle


authentic relationships


friendship in the age of AI


emotional boundaries friendships


friendship burnout


real vs artificial connection


modern loneliness discussion


relationship psychology podcast


human connection podcast


#FriendshipPodcast#AuthenticConnection#ModernFriendship#HumanConnection#EmotionalWellness#AIandSociety#RelationshipGrowth#FriendshipMatters#PodcastLife#OurFriendlyWorld
Are we slowly replacing friendships with algorithms?
This week we explore the three types of friendship, emotional seasons of connection, and why real human relationships still require vulnerability, patience, and risk.
Sometimes stepping back is part of finding deeper friendship.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2380307/c1a-8j1v-34xwxx1nb534-ncoghd.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:17:28</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[AI vs Human Connection: Why Real Friendship Is Making a Comeback]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Feb 2026 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2371160</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/ai-vs-human-connection-why-real-friendship-is-making-a-comeback</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>AI vs Human Connection: Why Real Friendship Is Making a Comeback</strong></p>
<p><strong>The Loneliness Wake-Up Call: Are We Relearning How to Connect?</strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Are apps bringing us closer together—or revealing how disconnected we've become?</p>
<p>In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore a new trend sparked by a viral app created by Gen Z developers in China that asks a startling question. What begins as a conversation about technology quickly becomes a deeper reflection on modern loneliness, emotional safety, and the human need for authentic connection.</p>
<p>From handwritten letters making a comeback to the emotional power of true friendship, this conversation explores how AI and digital tools may actually be pushing us back toward something timeless: real relationships.</p>
<p>Fawn shares a personal story about reaching out during a stressful moment—and the profound impact of being supported by friends in real time. Together, they discuss why vulnerability, community, and intentional connection may be the most important skills of the future.</p>
<p>If you’ve ever wondered:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why making friends feels harder today</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How technology is reshaping relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Whether AI can replace emotional connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to build meaningful friendships in a digital world</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode is for you.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>friendship in the digital age</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>loneliness epidemic</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to make friends as an adult</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>authentic connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional support friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>social isolation solutions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Gen Z friendship trends</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>human connection vs technology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>building community in modern life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Are we losing connection—or rediscovering it?</p>
<p>After hearing about a new app designed to alert someone if you haven’t checked in, Fawn and Matt dive into the deeper meaning behind modern loneliness and our growing desire for real friendship.</p>
<p>From handwritten letters to emotional support networks, they explore why technology may actually be guiding us back toward authentic human relationships.</p>
<p>This episode includes:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The emotional reality behind the loneliness epidemic</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why AI cannot replace real friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How vulnerability strengthens connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>A powerful real-life story about friendship support</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Something surprising is happening.</p>
<p>The more technology grows, the more people are craving real friendship.</p>
<p>In this episode, we explore:<br />• The loneliness wake-up call<br />• Why handwritten letters are coming back<br />• A powerful story about real emotional support</p>
<p>Because no algorithm can replace genuine connection.</p>
<p>#Friendship #HumanConnection #AIandSociety #LonelinessEpidemic #EmotionalWellbeing</p>
<p>“There are things a machine can simulate—but love, presence, and real friendship aren’t one of them.”</p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[AI vs Human Connection: Why Real Friendship Is Making a Comeback
The Loneliness Wake-Up Call: Are We Relearning How to Connect?

Are apps bringing us closer together—or revealing how disconnected we've become?
In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore a new trend sparked by a viral app created by Gen Z developers in China that asks a startling question. What begins as a conversation about technology quickly becomes a deeper reflection on modern loneliness, emotional safety, and the human need for authentic connection.
From handwritten letters making a comeback to the emotional power of true friendship, this conversation explores how AI and digital tools may actually be pushing us back toward something timeless: real relationships.
Fawn shares a personal story about reaching out during a stressful moment—and the profound impact of being supported by friends in real time. Together, they discuss why vulnerability, community, and intentional connection may be the most important skills of the future.
If you’ve ever wondered:


Why making friends feels harder today


How technology is reshaping relationships


Whether AI can replace emotional connection


How to build meaningful friendships in a digital world


This episode is for you.



friendship in the digital age


loneliness epidemic


AI and relationships


how to make friends as an adult


authentic connection


emotional support friendships


social isolation solutions


Gen Z friendship trends


human connection vs technology


building community in modern life



Are we losing connection—or rediscovering it?
After hearing about a new app designed to alert someone if you haven’t checked in, Fawn and Matt dive into the deeper meaning behind modern loneliness and our growing desire for real friendship.
From handwritten letters to emotional support networks, they explore why technology may actually be guiding us back toward authentic human relationships.
This episode includes:


The emotional reality behind the loneliness epidemic


Why AI cannot replace real friendship


How vulnerability strengthens connection


A powerful real-life story about friendship support


Something surprising is happening.
The more technology grows, the more people are craving real friendship.
In this episode, we explore:• The loneliness wake-up call• Why handwritten letters are coming back• A powerful story about real emotional support
Because no algorithm can replace genuine connection.
#Friendship #HumanConnection #AIandSociety #LonelinessEpidemic #EmotionalWellbeing
“There are things a machine can simulate—but love, presence, and real friendship aren’t one of them.”
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[AI vs Human Connection: Why Real Friendship Is Making a Comeback]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>AI vs Human Connection: Why Real Friendship Is Making a Comeback</strong></p>
<p><strong>The Loneliness Wake-Up Call: Are We Relearning How to Connect?</strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Are apps bringing us closer together—or revealing how disconnected we've become?</p>
<p>In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore a new trend sparked by a viral app created by Gen Z developers in China that asks a startling question. What begins as a conversation about technology quickly becomes a deeper reflection on modern loneliness, emotional safety, and the human need for authentic connection.</p>
<p>From handwritten letters making a comeback to the emotional power of true friendship, this conversation explores how AI and digital tools may actually be pushing us back toward something timeless: real relationships.</p>
<p>Fawn shares a personal story about reaching out during a stressful moment—and the profound impact of being supported by friends in real time. Together, they discuss why vulnerability, community, and intentional connection may be the most important skills of the future.</p>
<p>If you’ve ever wondered:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why making friends feels harder today</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How technology is reshaping relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Whether AI can replace emotional connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to build meaningful friendships in a digital world</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode is for you.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>friendship in the digital age</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>loneliness epidemic</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to make friends as an adult</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>authentic connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional support friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>social isolation solutions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Gen Z friendship trends</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>human connection vs technology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>building community in modern life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Are we losing connection—or rediscovering it?</p>
<p>After hearing about a new app designed to alert someone if you haven’t checked in, Fawn and Matt dive into the deeper meaning behind modern loneliness and our growing desire for real friendship.</p>
<p>From handwritten letters to emotional support networks, they explore why technology may actually be guiding us back toward authentic human relationships.</p>
<p>This episode includes:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The emotional reality behind the loneliness epidemic</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why AI cannot replace real friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How vulnerability strengthens connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>A powerful real-life story about friendship support</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Something surprising is happening.</p>
<p>The more technology grows, the more people are craving real friendship.</p>
<p>In this episode, we explore:<br />• The loneliness wake-up call<br />• Why handwritten letters are coming back<br />• A powerful story about real emotional support</p>
<p>Because no algorithm can replace genuine connection.</p>
<p>#Friendship #HumanConnection #AIandSociety #LonelinessEpidemic #EmotionalWellbeing</p>
<p>“There are things a machine can simulate—but love, presence, and real friendship aren’t one of them.”</p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2371160/c1e-0jo1a7ozgmbgmq5x-jpqgv3jdtmkw-vn6kbe.mp3" length="20854642"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[AI vs Human Connection: Why Real Friendship Is Making a Comeback
The Loneliness Wake-Up Call: Are We Relearning How to Connect?

Are apps bringing us closer together—or revealing how disconnected we've become?
In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore a new trend sparked by a viral app created by Gen Z developers in China that asks a startling question. What begins as a conversation about technology quickly becomes a deeper reflection on modern loneliness, emotional safety, and the human need for authentic connection.
From handwritten letters making a comeback to the emotional power of true friendship, this conversation explores how AI and digital tools may actually be pushing us back toward something timeless: real relationships.
Fawn shares a personal story about reaching out during a stressful moment—and the profound impact of being supported by friends in real time. Together, they discuss why vulnerability, community, and intentional connection may be the most important skills of the future.
If you’ve ever wondered:


Why making friends feels harder today


How technology is reshaping relationships


Whether AI can replace emotional connection


How to build meaningful friendships in a digital world


This episode is for you.



friendship in the digital age


loneliness epidemic


AI and relationships


how to make friends as an adult


authentic connection


emotional support friendships


social isolation solutions


Gen Z friendship trends


human connection vs technology


building community in modern life



Are we losing connection—or rediscovering it?
After hearing about a new app designed to alert someone if you haven’t checked in, Fawn and Matt dive into the deeper meaning behind modern loneliness and our growing desire for real friendship.
From handwritten letters to emotional support networks, they explore why technology may actually be guiding us back toward authentic human relationships.
This episode includes:


The emotional reality behind the loneliness epidemic


Why AI cannot replace real friendship


How vulnerability strengthens connection


A powerful real-life story about friendship support


Something surprising is happening.
The more technology grows, the more people are craving real friendship.
In this episode, we explore:• The loneliness wake-up call• Why handwritten letters are coming back• A powerful story about real emotional support
Because no algorithm can replace genuine connection.
#Friendship #HumanConnection #AIandSociety #LonelinessEpidemic #EmotionalWellbeing
“There are things a machine can simulate—but love, presence, and real friendship aren’t one of them.”
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2371160/c1a-8j1v-qd120o4ounk1-6jzih6.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:43</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship in the Age of AI: Can Artificial Intelligence Replace Human Connection?]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Feb 2026 05:28:23 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2363988</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendship-in-the-age-of-ai-can-artificial-intelligence-replace-human-connection</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Artificial Intelligence is starting to feel like a friend.</p>
<p>It’s available 24/7. It validates us. It responds instantly. It never gets tired. But what happens when AI starts replacing real human connection?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the emotional, psychological, and cultural impact of AI companionship. Why does AI sometimes feel more supportive than real people? What are “AI hallucinations”? And are we slowly losing our ability to tolerate disagreement and compromise?</p>
<p>Fawn shares her vulnerable experience of turning to AI during moments of frustration and loneliness — and why the responses sometimes felt deeply comforting. Matt breaks down how AI actually works, explaining why it can sound compassionate without truly understanding anything at all.</p>
<p>Together, they discuss:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>AI as therapist, friend, and emotional validator</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The dopamine effect of digital convenience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Emotional labor in modern friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why conflict and compromise are essential to intimacy</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The danger of outsourcing companionship to algorithms</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How convenience culture is reshaping relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why wonder and surprise cannot be programmed</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>The episode ends with a simple but powerful reminder: a handwritten Valentine that meant more than any algorithm ever could.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>AI and friendship</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Artificial intelligence and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI companionship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI therapy</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Digital loneliness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Human connection in the digital age</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Emotional labor in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Dopamine and technology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Conflict in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Parenting and AI</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Teens and artificial intelligence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Convenience culture</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How AI affects relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI hallucinations explained</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#AIAndFriendship<br />#HumanConnection<br />#DigitalLoneliness<br />#ArtificialIntelligence<br />#EmotionalLabor<br />#ConnectionOverConvenience<br />#ModernRelationships<br />#ChooseHumanity<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Artificial Intelligence is starting to feel like a friend.
It’s available 24/7. It validates us. It responds instantly. It never gets tired. But what happens when AI starts replacing real human connection?
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the emotional, psychological, and cultural impact of AI companionship. Why does AI sometimes feel more supportive than real people? What are “AI hallucinations”? And are we slowly losing our ability to tolerate disagreement and compromise?
Fawn shares her vulnerable experience of turning to AI during moments of frustration and loneliness — and why the responses sometimes felt deeply comforting. Matt breaks down how AI actually works, explaining why it can sound compassionate without truly understanding anything at all.
Together, they discuss:


AI as therapist, friend, and emotional validator


The dopamine effect of digital convenience


Emotional labor in modern friendships


Why conflict and compromise are essential to intimacy


The danger of outsourcing companionship to algorithms


How convenience culture is reshaping relationships


Why wonder and surprise cannot be programmed


The episode ends with a simple but powerful reminder: a handwritten Valentine that meant more than any algorithm ever could.

AI and friendship


Artificial intelligence and relationships


AI companionship


AI therapy


Digital loneliness


Human connection in the digital age




Emotional labor in friendships


Dopamine and technology


Conflict in relationships


Parenting and AI


Teens and artificial intelligence


Convenience culture


How AI affects relationships


AI hallucinations explained


#AIAndFriendship#HumanConnection#DigitalLoneliness#ArtificialIntelligence#EmotionalLabor#ConnectionOverConvenience#ModernRelationships#ChooseHumanity#FriendshipMatters#OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship in the Age of AI: Can Artificial Intelligence Replace Human Connection?]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Artificial Intelligence is starting to feel like a friend.</p>
<p>It’s available 24/7. It validates us. It responds instantly. It never gets tired. But what happens when AI starts replacing real human connection?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the emotional, psychological, and cultural impact of AI companionship. Why does AI sometimes feel more supportive than real people? What are “AI hallucinations”? And are we slowly losing our ability to tolerate disagreement and compromise?</p>
<p>Fawn shares her vulnerable experience of turning to AI during moments of frustration and loneliness — and why the responses sometimes felt deeply comforting. Matt breaks down how AI actually works, explaining why it can sound compassionate without truly understanding anything at all.</p>
<p>Together, they discuss:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>AI as therapist, friend, and emotional validator</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The dopamine effect of digital convenience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Emotional labor in modern friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why conflict and compromise are essential to intimacy</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The danger of outsourcing companionship to algorithms</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How convenience culture is reshaping relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why wonder and surprise cannot be programmed</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>The episode ends with a simple but powerful reminder: a handwritten Valentine that meant more than any algorithm ever could.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>AI and friendship</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Artificial intelligence and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI companionship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI therapy</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Digital loneliness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Human connection in the digital age</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Emotional labor in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Dopamine and technology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Conflict in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Parenting and AI</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Teens and artificial intelligence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Convenience culture</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How AI affects relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI hallucinations explained</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#AIAndFriendship<br />#HumanConnection<br />#DigitalLoneliness<br />#ArtificialIntelligence<br />#EmotionalLabor<br />#ConnectionOverConvenience<br />#ModernRelationships<br />#ChooseHumanity<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2363988/c1e-7jgvav2527bd6vk1-9jw191pqcpjm-dktzox.mp3" length="29128107"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Artificial Intelligence is starting to feel like a friend.
It’s available 24/7. It validates us. It responds instantly. It never gets tired. But what happens when AI starts replacing real human connection?
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the emotional, psychological, and cultural impact of AI companionship. Why does AI sometimes feel more supportive than real people? What are “AI hallucinations”? And are we slowly losing our ability to tolerate disagreement and compromise?
Fawn shares her vulnerable experience of turning to AI during moments of frustration and loneliness — and why the responses sometimes felt deeply comforting. Matt breaks down how AI actually works, explaining why it can sound compassionate without truly understanding anything at all.
Together, they discuss:


AI as therapist, friend, and emotional validator


The dopamine effect of digital convenience


Emotional labor in modern friendships


Why conflict and compromise are essential to intimacy


The danger of outsourcing companionship to algorithms


How convenience culture is reshaping relationships


Why wonder and surprise cannot be programmed


The episode ends with a simple but powerful reminder: a handwritten Valentine that meant more than any algorithm ever could.

AI and friendship


Artificial intelligence and relationships


AI companionship


AI therapy


Digital loneliness


Human connection in the digital age




Emotional labor in friendships


Dopamine and technology


Conflict in relationships


Parenting and AI


Teens and artificial intelligence


Convenience culture


How AI affects relationships


AI hallucinations explained


#AIAndFriendship#HumanConnection#DigitalLoneliness#ArtificialIntelligence#EmotionalLabor#ConnectionOverConvenience#ModernRelationships#ChooseHumanity#FriendshipMatters#OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2363988/c1a-8j1v-nd13q35vcgo2-sojv6e.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:20</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship - Living in a World That Demands an Explanation]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Feb 2026 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2352958</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendship-living-in-a-world-that-demands-an-explanation</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left">Why does it feel like we’re always explaining ourselves—especially in friendship?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, we explore a deeply modern anxiety: the fear that silence will be misinterpreted, intentions will be assumed, and friendships will fracture unless we constantly justify who we are, what we meant, and what we <em>didn’t</em> mean.</p>
<p>We unpack how social media, performative morality, and call-out culture have turned everyday relationships into emotional courtrooms—where people feel pressure to preemptively defend themselves just to stay connected.</p>
<p>This conversation isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding why friendship feels heavier now, why authenticity is harder to maintain, and how trust erodes when explanation replaces presence.</p>
<p>If you’ve ever felt exhausted trying to be understood—or afraid that saying nothing would say the <em>wrong</em> thing—this episode holds a mirror to the cultural moment we’re all living inside.</p>
<h2><strong>Core Themes / Talking Points </strong></h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why silence now feels risky instead of neutral</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Social media as a training ground for constant self-defense</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Performative morality and the pressure to prove “goodness”</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Preemptive justification in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How explanation replaces trust</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why we’re communicating more—but connecting less</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Friendship fatigue in the age of interpretation</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>friendship podcast<br />modern friendship<br />friendship communication<br />explaining yourself in friendships<br />emotional exhaustion in relationships<br />social media and friendship<br />performative morality<br />call out culture and relationships<br />authentic friendship<br />emotional safety in friendship<br />trust in modern relationships<br />over explaining anxiety<br />boundaries in friendships<br />miscommunication in relationships</p>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast<br />#ModernFriendship<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#AuthenticConnection<br />#RelationshipAnxiety<br />#OverExplaining<br />#CallOutCulture<br />#PerformativeMorality<br />#SocialMediaCulture<br />#EmotionalSafety<br />#TrustInFriendship<br />#HealthyRelationships<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Why does it feel like we’re always explaining ourselves—especially in friendship?
In this episode of Our Friendly World, we explore a deeply modern anxiety: the fear that silence will be misinterpreted, intentions will be assumed, and friendships will fracture unless we constantly justify who we are, what we meant, and what we didn’t mean.
We unpack how social media, performative morality, and call-out culture have turned everyday relationships into emotional courtrooms—where people feel pressure to preemptively defend themselves just to stay connected.
This conversation isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding why friendship feels heavier now, why authenticity is harder to maintain, and how trust erodes when explanation replaces presence.
If you’ve ever felt exhausted trying to be understood—or afraid that saying nothing would say the wrong thing—this episode holds a mirror to the cultural moment we’re all living inside.
Core Themes / Talking Points 


Why silence now feels risky instead of neutral


Social media as a training ground for constant self-defense


Performative morality and the pressure to prove “goodness”


Preemptive justification in friendships


How explanation replaces trust


Why we’re communicating more—but connecting less


Friendship fatigue in the age of interpretation


friendship podcastmodern friendshipfriendship communicationexplaining yourself in friendshipsemotional exhaustion in relationshipssocial media and friendshipperformative moralitycall out culture and relationshipsauthentic friendshipemotional safety in friendshiptrust in modern relationshipsover explaining anxietyboundaries in friendshipsmiscommunication in relationships
#FriendshipPodcast#ModernFriendship#EmotionalIntelligence#AuthenticConnection#RelationshipAnxiety#OverExplaining#CallOutCulture#PerformativeMorality#SocialMediaCulture#EmotionalSafety#TrustInFriendship#HealthyRelationships#OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship - Living in a World That Demands an Explanation]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left">Why does it feel like we’re always explaining ourselves—especially in friendship?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, we explore a deeply modern anxiety: the fear that silence will be misinterpreted, intentions will be assumed, and friendships will fracture unless we constantly justify who we are, what we meant, and what we <em>didn’t</em> mean.</p>
<p>We unpack how social media, performative morality, and call-out culture have turned everyday relationships into emotional courtrooms—where people feel pressure to preemptively defend themselves just to stay connected.</p>
<p>This conversation isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding why friendship feels heavier now, why authenticity is harder to maintain, and how trust erodes when explanation replaces presence.</p>
<p>If you’ve ever felt exhausted trying to be understood—or afraid that saying nothing would say the <em>wrong</em> thing—this episode holds a mirror to the cultural moment we’re all living inside.</p>
<h2><strong>Core Themes / Talking Points </strong></h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why silence now feels risky instead of neutral</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Social media as a training ground for constant self-defense</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Performative morality and the pressure to prove “goodness”</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Preemptive justification in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How explanation replaces trust</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why we’re communicating more—but connecting less</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Friendship fatigue in the age of interpretation</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>friendship podcast<br />modern friendship<br />friendship communication<br />explaining yourself in friendships<br />emotional exhaustion in relationships<br />social media and friendship<br />performative morality<br />call out culture and relationships<br />authentic friendship<br />emotional safety in friendship<br />trust in modern relationships<br />over explaining anxiety<br />boundaries in friendships<br />miscommunication in relationships</p>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast<br />#ModernFriendship<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#AuthenticConnection<br />#RelationshipAnxiety<br />#OverExplaining<br />#CallOutCulture<br />#PerformativeMorality<br />#SocialMediaCulture<br />#EmotionalSafety<br />#TrustInFriendship<br />#HealthyRelationships<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2352958/c1e-0jo1a7w8p0hgm383-okp8vw5xt0x9-rnnkfs.mp3" length="27030381"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Why does it feel like we’re always explaining ourselves—especially in friendship?
In this episode of Our Friendly World, we explore a deeply modern anxiety: the fear that silence will be misinterpreted, intentions will be assumed, and friendships will fracture unless we constantly justify who we are, what we meant, and what we didn’t mean.
We unpack how social media, performative morality, and call-out culture have turned everyday relationships into emotional courtrooms—where people feel pressure to preemptively defend themselves just to stay connected.
This conversation isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding why friendship feels heavier now, why authenticity is harder to maintain, and how trust erodes when explanation replaces presence.
If you’ve ever felt exhausted trying to be understood—or afraid that saying nothing would say the wrong thing—this episode holds a mirror to the cultural moment we’re all living inside.
Core Themes / Talking Points 


Why silence now feels risky instead of neutral


Social media as a training ground for constant self-defense


Performative morality and the pressure to prove “goodness”


Preemptive justification in friendships


How explanation replaces trust


Why we’re communicating more—but connecting less


Friendship fatigue in the age of interpretation


friendship podcastmodern friendshipfriendship communicationexplaining yourself in friendshipsemotional exhaustion in relationshipssocial media and friendshipperformative moralitycall out culture and relationshipsauthentic friendshipemotional safety in friendshiptrust in modern relationshipsover explaining anxietyboundaries in friendshipsmiscommunication in relationships
#FriendshipPodcast#ModernFriendship#EmotionalIntelligence#AuthenticConnection#RelationshipAnxiety#OverExplaining#CallOutCulture#PerformativeMorality#SocialMediaCulture#EmotionalSafety#TrustInFriendship#HealthyRelationships#OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2352958/c1a-8j1v-5z3r61mmcpo-ndfvfr.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:28:09</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Quiet Cost of Needing to Belong]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Feb 2026 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2345596</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-quiet-cost-of-needing-to-belong</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>The Quiet Cost of Needing to Belong</strong> explores what happens when the human need for belonging quietly replaces self-trust. In this episode, Fawn and Matt examine how fear, loneliness, shame, and uncertainty can drive people toward mass movements, rigid identities, and even unhealthy friendships—offering borrowed certainty instead of inner stability.</p>
<p>They unpack the difference between true friendship and loyalty that demands self-erasure, how “us vs. them” thinking destroys intimacy, and why real connection never requires silencing your inner voice. From imposter syndrome and victimhood to freedom, individuality, and living with uncertainty, this conversation invites listeners to reclaim their inner authority.</p>
<p>At its heart, this episode is a reminder: you don’t have to disappear to belong. Real friendship strengthens self-trust. A livable inner world protects against dangerous certainty. And becoming comfortable with ambiguity may be the most radical act of all.</p>
<p></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>the need to belong</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>fear of being alone</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mass movements and identity</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>borrowed certainty</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>inner authority</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>unhealthy loyalty in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-trust and belonging</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>individuality vs groupthink</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>living with uncertainty</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>escaping the self</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship vs fanaticism</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>moral certainty and control</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>imposter syndrome and self-worth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>freedom and responsibility</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>finding meaning without losing yourself</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h2></h2>
<p>#TheQuietCostOfBelonging<br /> #InnerAuthority<br /> #HealthyFriendships<br /> #SelfTrust<br /> #BelongingWithoutLosingYourself<br /> #Groupthink<br /> #EmotionalFreedom<br /> #LivingWithUncertainty<br /> #PersonalGrowth<br /> #OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The Quiet Cost of Needing to Belong explores what happens when the human need for belonging quietly replaces self-trust. In this episode, Fawn and Matt examine how fear, loneliness, shame, and uncertainty can drive people toward mass movements, rigid identities, and even unhealthy friendships—offering borrowed certainty instead of inner stability.
They unpack the difference between true friendship and loyalty that demands self-erasure, how “us vs. them” thinking destroys intimacy, and why real connection never requires silencing your inner voice. From imposter syndrome and victimhood to freedom, individuality, and living with uncertainty, this conversation invites listeners to reclaim their inner authority.
At its heart, this episode is a reminder: you don’t have to disappear to belong. Real friendship strengthens self-trust. A livable inner world protects against dangerous certainty. And becoming comfortable with ambiguity may be the most radical act of all.



the need to belong


fear of being alone


mass movements and identity


borrowed certainty


inner authority


unhealthy loyalty in friendships


self-trust and belonging


individuality vs groupthink


living with uncertainty


escaping the self


friendship vs fanaticism


moral certainty and control


imposter syndrome and self-worth


freedom and responsibility


finding meaning without losing yourself



#TheQuietCostOfBelonging #InnerAuthority #HealthyFriendships #SelfTrust #BelongingWithoutLosingYourself #Groupthink #EmotionalFreedom #LivingWithUncertainty #PersonalGrowth #OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Quiet Cost of Needing to Belong]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>The Quiet Cost of Needing to Belong</strong> explores what happens when the human need for belonging quietly replaces self-trust. In this episode, Fawn and Matt examine how fear, loneliness, shame, and uncertainty can drive people toward mass movements, rigid identities, and even unhealthy friendships—offering borrowed certainty instead of inner stability.</p>
<p>They unpack the difference between true friendship and loyalty that demands self-erasure, how “us vs. them” thinking destroys intimacy, and why real connection never requires silencing your inner voice. From imposter syndrome and victimhood to freedom, individuality, and living with uncertainty, this conversation invites listeners to reclaim their inner authority.</p>
<p>At its heart, this episode is a reminder: you don’t have to disappear to belong. Real friendship strengthens self-trust. A livable inner world protects against dangerous certainty. And becoming comfortable with ambiguity may be the most radical act of all.</p>
<p></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>the need to belong</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>fear of being alone</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mass movements and identity</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>borrowed certainty</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>inner authority</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>unhealthy loyalty in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-trust and belonging</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>individuality vs groupthink</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>living with uncertainty</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>escaping the self</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship vs fanaticism</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>moral certainty and control</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>imposter syndrome and self-worth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>freedom and responsibility</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>finding meaning without losing yourself</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h2></h2>
<p>#TheQuietCostOfBelonging<br /> #InnerAuthority<br /> #HealthyFriendships<br /> #SelfTrust<br /> #BelongingWithoutLosingYourself<br /> #Groupthink<br /> #EmotionalFreedom<br /> #LivingWithUncertainty<br /> #PersonalGrowth<br /> #OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2345596/c1e-1j3zan94jwtxv954-dm11k832b2zn-ynx340.mp3" length="34699925"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The Quiet Cost of Needing to Belong explores what happens when the human need for belonging quietly replaces self-trust. In this episode, Fawn and Matt examine how fear, loneliness, shame, and uncertainty can drive people toward mass movements, rigid identities, and even unhealthy friendships—offering borrowed certainty instead of inner stability.
They unpack the difference between true friendship and loyalty that demands self-erasure, how “us vs. them” thinking destroys intimacy, and why real connection never requires silencing your inner voice. From imposter syndrome and victimhood to freedom, individuality, and living with uncertainty, this conversation invites listeners to reclaim their inner authority.
At its heart, this episode is a reminder: you don’t have to disappear to belong. Real friendship strengthens self-trust. A livable inner world protects against dangerous certainty. And becoming comfortable with ambiguity may be the most radical act of all.



the need to belong


fear of being alone


mass movements and identity


borrowed certainty


inner authority


unhealthy loyalty in friendships


self-trust and belonging


individuality vs groupthink


living with uncertainty


escaping the self


friendship vs fanaticism


moral certainty and control


imposter syndrome and self-worth


freedom and responsibility


finding meaning without losing yourself



#TheQuietCostOfBelonging #InnerAuthority #HealthyFriendships #SelfTrust #BelongingWithoutLosingYourself #Groupthink #EmotionalFreedom #LivingWithUncertainty #PersonalGrowth #OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2345596/c1a-8j1v-7zrrq0wrhg1d-xijjpd.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:36:08</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Why You Feel Lonely Even When You’re Doing Everything Right: Friendship, Class, and the Rise of Micro-Community]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Jan 2026 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2338188</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/why-you-feel-lonely-even-when-youre-doing-everything-right-friendship-class-and-the-rise-of-micr</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Why does friendship feel so hard—even when you’re kind, self-aware, and doing your best?</p>
<p>In this episode, we explore how loneliness is no longer a personal failure, but a <strong>structural outcome</strong> of modern life. From the collapse of local community and the flattening of class visibility, to hustle culture, debt, and performative connection, we unpack why so many people feel isolated while appearing “fine.”</p>
<p>We talk about shame versus solidarity, why belonging has become transactional, and how social media and curated success narratives hide precarity instead of healing it. Most importantly, we introduce the idea of <strong>micro-community</strong>—small, quiet, human-scale connections that don’t require performance, status, or constant availability.</p>
<p>This conversation is for anyone who feels alone, unseen, or quietly holding themselves together. You didn’t do anything wrong. Friendship didn’t fail. We’re living through its dismantling—and its rebirth is happening in the cracks.</p>
<p>If you’re searching for real friendship, emotional safety, and belonging without burnout, this episode offers language, clarity, and a way forward—one gentle connection at a time.</p>
<p></p>
<p>#ArtOfFriendship #MicroCommunity #LivingInTheCracks #Belonging</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Why does friendship feel so hard—even when you’re kind, self-aware, and doing your best?
In this episode, we explore how loneliness is no longer a personal failure, but a structural outcome of modern life. From the collapse of local community and the flattening of class visibility, to hustle culture, debt, and performative connection, we unpack why so many people feel isolated while appearing “fine.”
We talk about shame versus solidarity, why belonging has become transactional, and how social media and curated success narratives hide precarity instead of healing it. Most importantly, we introduce the idea of micro-community—small, quiet, human-scale connections that don’t require performance, status, or constant availability.
This conversation is for anyone who feels alone, unseen, or quietly holding themselves together. You didn’t do anything wrong. Friendship didn’t fail. We’re living through its dismantling—and its rebirth is happening in the cracks.
If you’re searching for real friendship, emotional safety, and belonging without burnout, this episode offers language, clarity, and a way forward—one gentle connection at a time.

#ArtOfFriendship #MicroCommunity #LivingInTheCracks #Belonging]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Why You Feel Lonely Even When You’re Doing Everything Right: Friendship, Class, and the Rise of Micro-Community]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Why does friendship feel so hard—even when you’re kind, self-aware, and doing your best?</p>
<p>In this episode, we explore how loneliness is no longer a personal failure, but a <strong>structural outcome</strong> of modern life. From the collapse of local community and the flattening of class visibility, to hustle culture, debt, and performative connection, we unpack why so many people feel isolated while appearing “fine.”</p>
<p>We talk about shame versus solidarity, why belonging has become transactional, and how social media and curated success narratives hide precarity instead of healing it. Most importantly, we introduce the idea of <strong>micro-community</strong>—small, quiet, human-scale connections that don’t require performance, status, or constant availability.</p>
<p>This conversation is for anyone who feels alone, unseen, or quietly holding themselves together. You didn’t do anything wrong. Friendship didn’t fail. We’re living through its dismantling—and its rebirth is happening in the cracks.</p>
<p>If you’re searching for real friendship, emotional safety, and belonging without burnout, this episode offers language, clarity, and a way forward—one gentle connection at a time.</p>
<p></p>
<p>#ArtOfFriendship #MicroCommunity #LivingInTheCracks #Belonging</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2338188/c1e-7jgvavg2r7fd6v6x-nd1vnmnxuvmo-6kybut.mp3" length="56955802"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Why does friendship feel so hard—even when you’re kind, self-aware, and doing your best?
In this episode, we explore how loneliness is no longer a personal failure, but a structural outcome of modern life. From the collapse of local community and the flattening of class visibility, to hustle culture, debt, and performative connection, we unpack why so many people feel isolated while appearing “fine.”
We talk about shame versus solidarity, why belonging has become transactional, and how social media and curated success narratives hide precarity instead of healing it. Most importantly, we introduce the idea of micro-community—small, quiet, human-scale connections that don’t require performance, status, or constant availability.
This conversation is for anyone who feels alone, unseen, or quietly holding themselves together. You didn’t do anything wrong. Friendship didn’t fail. We’re living through its dismantling—and its rebirth is happening in the cracks.
If you’re searching for real friendship, emotional safety, and belonging without burnout, this episode offers language, clarity, and a way forward—one gentle connection at a time.

#ArtOfFriendship #MicroCommunity #LivingInTheCracks #Belonging]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2338188/c1a-8j1v-gp593x3xugp-2x0uzl.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:59:19</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Trusting life (and Friendships) Enough to Stop Forcing It - How Deep Listening, Surrender, and Trust Bring Clarity in Friendships, Decisions, and Life]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Jan 2026 06:06:18 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2329201</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/trusting-life-and-friendships-enough-to-stop-forcing-it-how-deep-listening-surrender-and-trust</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This friendship podcast episode explores deep listening, letting go of control, and how clarity emerges when we stop forcing outcomes.</p>
<p>This is an experiment in presence.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt explore what happens when we stop forcing clarity, stop bracing for outcomes, and begin listening—deeply—to others and to ourselves. From Friedships and parenting to decision-making, fear, regret, and faith, this conversation unfolds without an agenda.</p>
<p>They reflect on how control blocks truth, why silence often reveals more than words, and how real clarity arrives only after we let go.</p>
<p>This episode isn’t about having answers.<br />It’s about making space—and trusting what shows up and trusting that right friends will show up.</p>
<p></p>
<p><b>deep listening, listening deeply, letting go of control, surrender and trust, mindful communication, friendship podcast, art of friendship, emotional intelligence, authentic listening, intuitive decision making, presence and awareness, stop forcing clarity </b></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>#DeepListening #LettingGo #ArtOfFriendship #FriendshipPodcast #MindfulRelationships #StopForcing #ListenDeeply #EmotionalIntelligence #AuthenticConnection #TrustTheProcess #PresenceOverPerfection #HumanConnection</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This friendship podcast episode explores deep listening, letting go of control, and how clarity emerges when we stop forcing outcomes.
This is an experiment in presence.
Fawn and Matt explore what happens when we stop forcing clarity, stop bracing for outcomes, and begin listening—deeply—to others and to ourselves. From Friedships and parenting to decision-making, fear, regret, and faith, this conversation unfolds without an agenda.
They reflect on how control blocks truth, why silence often reveals more than words, and how real clarity arrives only after we let go.
This episode isn’t about having answers.It’s about making space—and trusting what shows up and trusting that right friends will show up.

deep listening, listening deeply, letting go of control, surrender and trust, mindful communication, friendship podcast, art of friendship, emotional intelligence, authentic listening, intuitive decision making, presence and awareness, stop forcing clarity 

#DeepListening #LettingGo #ArtOfFriendship #FriendshipPodcast #MindfulRelationships #StopForcing #ListenDeeply #EmotionalIntelligence #AuthenticConnection #TrustTheProcess #PresenceOverPerfection #HumanConnection
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Trusting life (and Friendships) Enough to Stop Forcing It - How Deep Listening, Surrender, and Trust Bring Clarity in Friendships, Decisions, and Life]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This friendship podcast episode explores deep listening, letting go of control, and how clarity emerges when we stop forcing outcomes.</p>
<p>This is an experiment in presence.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt explore what happens when we stop forcing clarity, stop bracing for outcomes, and begin listening—deeply—to others and to ourselves. From Friedships and parenting to decision-making, fear, regret, and faith, this conversation unfolds without an agenda.</p>
<p>They reflect on how control blocks truth, why silence often reveals more than words, and how real clarity arrives only after we let go.</p>
<p>This episode isn’t about having answers.<br />It’s about making space—and trusting what shows up and trusting that right friends will show up.</p>
<p></p>
<p><b>deep listening, listening deeply, letting go of control, surrender and trust, mindful communication, friendship podcast, art of friendship, emotional intelligence, authentic listening, intuitive decision making, presence and awareness, stop forcing clarity </b></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>#DeepListening #LettingGo #ArtOfFriendship #FriendshipPodcast #MindfulRelationships #StopForcing #ListenDeeply #EmotionalIntelligence #AuthenticConnection #TrustTheProcess #PresenceOverPerfection #HumanConnection</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2329201/c1e-n670bzmvw9t9z41p-kpj4o6zgswd-dmddx2.mp3" length="22342944"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This friendship podcast episode explores deep listening, letting go of control, and how clarity emerges when we stop forcing outcomes.
This is an experiment in presence.
Fawn and Matt explore what happens when we stop forcing clarity, stop bracing for outcomes, and begin listening—deeply—to others and to ourselves. From Friedships and parenting to decision-making, fear, regret, and faith, this conversation unfolds without an agenda.
They reflect on how control blocks truth, why silence often reveals more than words, and how real clarity arrives only after we let go.
This episode isn’t about having answers.It’s about making space—and trusting what shows up and trusting that right friends will show up.

deep listening, listening deeply, letting go of control, surrender and trust, mindful communication, friendship podcast, art of friendship, emotional intelligence, authentic listening, intuitive decision making, presence and awareness, stop forcing clarity 

#DeepListening #LettingGo #ArtOfFriendship #FriendshipPodcast #MindfulRelationships #StopForcing #ListenDeeply #EmotionalIntelligence #AuthenticConnection #TrustTheProcess #PresenceOverPerfection #HumanConnection
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2329201/c1a-8j1v-8d0r8jz5sk7j-cwqvrt.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:16</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Yes, And: How Improv Improves Communication and Friendship”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Jan 2026 07:24:03 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2319889</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/yes-and-how-improv-improves-communication-and-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<h2>When Life Feels Unbearable, Two Words Can Change Everything</h2>
<p>There are moments when life feels like swimming upstream—against the current of relationships, work, parenting, and the state of the world itself. In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore a deceptively simple idea borrowed from improv that can shift how we show up in friendships and in life: <strong>“Yes, And.”</strong></p>
<p>Originally shared with Fawn by a trusted voice acting coach, these two words landed far beyond the audition room. They became a framework for navigating disappointment, fear, conflict, and change—without denying reality or suppressing emotion.</p>
<p>“<strong>Yes, And</strong>” doesn’t mean passive acceptance. It means:</p>
<p><strong>I accept what’s here — and I choose to build from it.</strong></p>
<p>That mindset creates flow instead of friction, possibility instead of paralysis.</p>
<h2>What “Yes, And” Really Means (and What It Doesn’t)</h2>
<p>In improv, “Yes, And” keeps a scene alive. In life, it keeps <em>you</em> moving.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong> = This is happening. I acknowledge it.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>And</strong> = I still have agency. I still get to choose what comes next.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This isn’t about pretending things are fine when they’re not. It’s about validating your emotional experience <em>without getting stuck inside it</em>.</p>
<p>As Matt explains in the episode, this approach aligns closely with the psychology of acceptance: when we stop fighting reality, we free up mental and emotional energy to move forward.</p>
<h2>Applying “Yes, And” to Friendship</h2>
<p>Friendships are one of the places where resistance shows up most clearly. We want things to be different than they are—and that tension can quietly erode connection.</p>
<p>Here’s what “Yes, And” can sound like in real friendship moments:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, this friendship didn’t unfold the way I hoped — <strong>and</strong> I can choose how I end it and how I begin again.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, I feel nervous about putting myself out there — <strong>and</strong> I’ll show up anyway.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, I don’t feel like going out right now — <strong>and</strong> I trust I’ll reconnect when I’m ready.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Instead of repeating old patterns, “Yes, And” helps us close chapters with awareness—so we don’t recreate the same dynamics in the next relationship.</p>
<h2>A Tool for Conflict (Without the Fight)</h2>
<p>One of the most powerful aspects of “Yes, And” is how it <em>removes charge</em> from difficult interactions.</p>
<p>When someone comes at us with strong opinions or challenging beliefs, arguing often fuels the fire. But “Yes, And” can quietly disarm conflict:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>It acknowledges the other person’s perspective without agreeing or escalating.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>It avoids the trap of “winning” an argument at the cost of connection.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>It redirects energy toward solutions instead of standoffs.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>As Fawn and Matt discuss, this approach validates existence without validating harm—and that distinction matters deeply in friendships.</p>
<h2><br /><br /></h2>
<p>The word <em>resilience</em> gets thrown around a lot, but this episode grounds it in something practical.</p>
<p>Every “And” is a step forward:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, I didn’t get the job — <strong>and</strong> I learned what to try next.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, this is new and scary — <strong>and</strong> I’m capable.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, things feel heavy right now — <strong>and</strong> there is still hope.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Research shows that forward-focused thinking increases life satisfaction and inner peace. “Yes, And” gently shifts attention from what’s blocking us to where we’re going.</p>
<h2>Presence, Awareness, and Flow</h2>
<p>At its core, “Yes, And” is a mindf...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[When Life Feels Unbearable, Two Words Can Change Everything
There are moments when life feels like swimming upstream—against the current of relationships, work, parenting, and the state of the world itself. In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore a deceptively simple idea borrowed from improv that can shift how we show up in friendships and in life: “Yes, And.”
Originally shared with Fawn by a trusted voice acting coach, these two words landed far beyond the audition room. They became a framework for navigating disappointment, fear, conflict, and change—without denying reality or suppressing emotion.
“Yes, And” doesn’t mean passive acceptance. It means:
I accept what’s here — and I choose to build from it.
That mindset creates flow instead of friction, possibility instead of paralysis.
What “Yes, And” Really Means (and What It Doesn’t)
In improv, “Yes, And” keeps a scene alive. In life, it keeps you moving.


Yes = This is happening. I acknowledge it.


And = I still have agency. I still get to choose what comes next.


This isn’t about pretending things are fine when they’re not. It’s about validating your emotional experience without getting stuck inside it.
As Matt explains in the episode, this approach aligns closely with the psychology of acceptance: when we stop fighting reality, we free up mental and emotional energy to move forward.
Applying “Yes, And” to Friendship
Friendships are one of the places where resistance shows up most clearly. We want things to be different than they are—and that tension can quietly erode connection.
Here’s what “Yes, And” can sound like in real friendship moments:


Yes, this friendship didn’t unfold the way I hoped — and I can choose how I end it and how I begin again.


Yes, I feel nervous about putting myself out there — and I’ll show up anyway.


Yes, I don’t feel like going out right now — and I trust I’ll reconnect when I’m ready.


Instead of repeating old patterns, “Yes, And” helps us close chapters with awareness—so we don’t recreate the same dynamics in the next relationship.
A Tool for Conflict (Without the Fight)
One of the most powerful aspects of “Yes, And” is how it removes charge from difficult interactions.
When someone comes at us with strong opinions or challenging beliefs, arguing often fuels the fire. But “Yes, And” can quietly disarm conflict:


It acknowledges the other person’s perspective without agreeing or escalating.


It avoids the trap of “winning” an argument at the cost of connection.


It redirects energy toward solutions instead of standoffs.


As Fawn and Matt discuss, this approach validates existence without validating harm—and that distinction matters deeply in friendships.

The word resilience gets thrown around a lot, but this episode grounds it in something practical.
Every “And” is a step forward:


Yes, I didn’t get the job — and I learned what to try next.


Yes, this is new and scary — and I’m capable.


Yes, things feel heavy right now — and there is still hope.


Research shows that forward-focused thinking increases life satisfaction and inner peace. “Yes, And” gently shifts attention from what’s blocking us to where we’re going.
Presence, Awareness, and Flow
At its core, “Yes, And” is a mindf...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Yes, And: How Improv Improves Communication and Friendship”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<h2>When Life Feels Unbearable, Two Words Can Change Everything</h2>
<p>There are moments when life feels like swimming upstream—against the current of relationships, work, parenting, and the state of the world itself. In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore a deceptively simple idea borrowed from improv that can shift how we show up in friendships and in life: <strong>“Yes, And.”</strong></p>
<p>Originally shared with Fawn by a trusted voice acting coach, these two words landed far beyond the audition room. They became a framework for navigating disappointment, fear, conflict, and change—without denying reality or suppressing emotion.</p>
<p>“<strong>Yes, And</strong>” doesn’t mean passive acceptance. It means:</p>
<p><strong>I accept what’s here — and I choose to build from it.</strong></p>
<p>That mindset creates flow instead of friction, possibility instead of paralysis.</p>
<h2>What “Yes, And” Really Means (and What It Doesn’t)</h2>
<p>In improv, “Yes, And” keeps a scene alive. In life, it keeps <em>you</em> moving.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong> = This is happening. I acknowledge it.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>And</strong> = I still have agency. I still get to choose what comes next.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This isn’t about pretending things are fine when they’re not. It’s about validating your emotional experience <em>without getting stuck inside it</em>.</p>
<p>As Matt explains in the episode, this approach aligns closely with the psychology of acceptance: when we stop fighting reality, we free up mental and emotional energy to move forward.</p>
<h2>Applying “Yes, And” to Friendship</h2>
<p>Friendships are one of the places where resistance shows up most clearly. We want things to be different than they are—and that tension can quietly erode connection.</p>
<p>Here’s what “Yes, And” can sound like in real friendship moments:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, this friendship didn’t unfold the way I hoped — <strong>and</strong> I can choose how I end it and how I begin again.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, I feel nervous about putting myself out there — <strong>and</strong> I’ll show up anyway.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, I don’t feel like going out right now — <strong>and</strong> I trust I’ll reconnect when I’m ready.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Instead of repeating old patterns, “Yes, And” helps us close chapters with awareness—so we don’t recreate the same dynamics in the next relationship.</p>
<h2>A Tool for Conflict (Without the Fight)</h2>
<p>One of the most powerful aspects of “Yes, And” is how it <em>removes charge</em> from difficult interactions.</p>
<p>When someone comes at us with strong opinions or challenging beliefs, arguing often fuels the fire. But “Yes, And” can quietly disarm conflict:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>It acknowledges the other person’s perspective without agreeing or escalating.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>It avoids the trap of “winning” an argument at the cost of connection.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>It redirects energy toward solutions instead of standoffs.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>As Fawn and Matt discuss, this approach validates existence without validating harm—and that distinction matters deeply in friendships.</p>
<h2><br /><br /></h2>
<p>The word <em>resilience</em> gets thrown around a lot, but this episode grounds it in something practical.</p>
<p>Every “And” is a step forward:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, I didn’t get the job — <strong>and</strong> I learned what to try next.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, this is new and scary — <strong>and</strong> I’m capable.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Yes</strong>, things feel heavy right now — <strong>and</strong> there is still hope.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Research shows that forward-focused thinking increases life satisfaction and inner peace. “Yes, And” gently shifts attention from what’s blocking us to where we’re going.</p>
<h2>Presence, Awareness, and Flow</h2>
<p>At its core, “Yes, And” is a mindfulness practice.</p>
<p>It brings us back into the present moment:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Not fighting what already happened</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Not catastrophizing what hasn’t happened yet</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Simply asking: <em>What’s the next right step?</em></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Whether you’re navigating friendship challenges, career uncertainty, parenting stress, or world events that feel overwhelming—this tool invites steadiness instead of spiraling.</p>
<h2>A Short Episode — A Long Reach</h2>
<p>This week’s episode is intentionally short, offering listeners time to actually <em>use</em> the idea rather than just hear it.</p>
<p>If you’ve been feeling exhausted, stuck, or discouraged, consider experimenting with these two words today:</p>
<p><strong>Yes. And.</strong></p>
<p>They might just change how you move through the world.</p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2319889/c1e-o6xnb26dowt8n09z-250kp4gzu1wj-klozao.mp3" length="14210703"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[When Life Feels Unbearable, Two Words Can Change Everything
There are moments when life feels like swimming upstream—against the current of relationships, work, parenting, and the state of the world itself. In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore a deceptively simple idea borrowed from improv that can shift how we show up in friendships and in life: “Yes, And.”
Originally shared with Fawn by a trusted voice acting coach, these two words landed far beyond the audition room. They became a framework for navigating disappointment, fear, conflict, and change—without denying reality or suppressing emotion.
“Yes, And” doesn’t mean passive acceptance. It means:
I accept what’s here — and I choose to build from it.
That mindset creates flow instead of friction, possibility instead of paralysis.
What “Yes, And” Really Means (and What It Doesn’t)
In improv, “Yes, And” keeps a scene alive. In life, it keeps you moving.


Yes = This is happening. I acknowledge it.


And = I still have agency. I still get to choose what comes next.


This isn’t about pretending things are fine when they’re not. It’s about validating your emotional experience without getting stuck inside it.
As Matt explains in the episode, this approach aligns closely with the psychology of acceptance: when we stop fighting reality, we free up mental and emotional energy to move forward.
Applying “Yes, And” to Friendship
Friendships are one of the places where resistance shows up most clearly. We want things to be different than they are—and that tension can quietly erode connection.
Here’s what “Yes, And” can sound like in real friendship moments:


Yes, this friendship didn’t unfold the way I hoped — and I can choose how I end it and how I begin again.


Yes, I feel nervous about putting myself out there — and I’ll show up anyway.


Yes, I don’t feel like going out right now — and I trust I’ll reconnect when I’m ready.


Instead of repeating old patterns, “Yes, And” helps us close chapters with awareness—so we don’t recreate the same dynamics in the next relationship.
A Tool for Conflict (Without the Fight)
One of the most powerful aspects of “Yes, And” is how it removes charge from difficult interactions.
When someone comes at us with strong opinions or challenging beliefs, arguing often fuels the fire. But “Yes, And” can quietly disarm conflict:


It acknowledges the other person’s perspective without agreeing or escalating.


It avoids the trap of “winning” an argument at the cost of connection.


It redirects energy toward solutions instead of standoffs.


As Fawn and Matt discuss, this approach validates existence without validating harm—and that distinction matters deeply in friendships.

The word resilience gets thrown around a lot, but this episode grounds it in something practical.
Every “And” is a step forward:


Yes, I didn’t get the job — and I learned what to try next.


Yes, this is new and scary — and I’m capable.


Yes, things feel heavy right now — and there is still hope.


Research shows that forward-focused thinking increases life satisfaction and inner peace. “Yes, And” gently shifts attention from what’s blocking us to where we’re going.
Presence, Awareness, and Flow
At its core, “Yes, And” is a mindf...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2319889/c1a-8j1v-v6wz54n8a79o-f3g1zd.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:14:48</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Measuring Cup: Honesty, Self-Worth, and the Measure of Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Jan 2026 03:13:53 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2313162</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-measuring-cup-honesty-self-worth-and-the-measure-of-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What does a <strong>measuring cup</strong> have to do with dating, friendship, and self-worth?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we revisit the infamous 1990s dating book <strong>The Rules</strong> — not to praise or dismiss it, but to look at what still holds wisdom beneath the criticism. Through the story of a single measuring cup (a gift that nearly ended our relationship before it began), we explore how <strong>honesty, authenticity, clarity, and self-respect</strong> matter far more than games or mixed signals.</p>
<p>This conversation moves beyond romantic relationships and into the heart of <strong>true friendship</strong>:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>How do you know if a relationship is one-sided?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>When does “mystery” become healthy boundaries — and when does it become emotional avoidance?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why oversharing can be as harmful as silence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>What self-worth actually looks like in everyday interactions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>And why being “easy to live with” might be one of the most underrated relationship skills of all</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>In a culture exhausted by busyness, confusion, and ideological extremes, this episode is a gentle reminder to <strong>measure what matters</strong>, speak honestly, and choose relationships that feel grounded, mutual, and kind.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>friendship podcast</p>
<p>relationships podcast</p>
<p>honesty in relationships</p>
<p>self worth and friendship</p>
<p>clarity in dating</p>
<p>healthy friendships</p>
<p>one sided friendships</p>
<p>emotional boundaries</p>
<p>authentic relationships</p>
<p>modern dating</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What does a measuring cup have to do with dating, friendship, and self-worth?
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we revisit the infamous 1990s dating book The Rules — not to praise or dismiss it, but to look at what still holds wisdom beneath the criticism. Through the story of a single measuring cup (a gift that nearly ended our relationship before it began), we explore how honesty, authenticity, clarity, and self-respect matter far more than games or mixed signals.
This conversation moves beyond romantic relationships and into the heart of true friendship:


How do you know if a relationship is one-sided?


When does “mystery” become healthy boundaries — and when does it become emotional avoidance?


Why oversharing can be as harmful as silence


What self-worth actually looks like in everyday interactions


And why being “easy to live with” might be one of the most underrated relationship skills of all


In a culture exhausted by busyness, confusion, and ideological extremes, this episode is a gentle reminder to measure what matters, speak honestly, and choose relationships that feel grounded, mutual, and kind.

friendship podcast
relationships podcast
honesty in relationships
self worth and friendship
clarity in dating
healthy friendships
one sided friendships
emotional boundaries
authentic relationships
modern dating]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Measuring Cup: Honesty, Self-Worth, and the Measure of Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What does a <strong>measuring cup</strong> have to do with dating, friendship, and self-worth?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we revisit the infamous 1990s dating book <strong>The Rules</strong> — not to praise or dismiss it, but to look at what still holds wisdom beneath the criticism. Through the story of a single measuring cup (a gift that nearly ended our relationship before it began), we explore how <strong>honesty, authenticity, clarity, and self-respect</strong> matter far more than games or mixed signals.</p>
<p>This conversation moves beyond romantic relationships and into the heart of <strong>true friendship</strong>:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>How do you know if a relationship is one-sided?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>When does “mystery” become healthy boundaries — and when does it become emotional avoidance?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why oversharing can be as harmful as silence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>What self-worth actually looks like in everyday interactions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>And why being “easy to live with” might be one of the most underrated relationship skills of all</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>In a culture exhausted by busyness, confusion, and ideological extremes, this episode is a gentle reminder to <strong>measure what matters</strong>, speak honestly, and choose relationships that feel grounded, mutual, and kind.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>friendship podcast</p>
<p>relationships podcast</p>
<p>honesty in relationships</p>
<p>self worth and friendship</p>
<p>clarity in dating</p>
<p>healthy friendships</p>
<p>one sided friendships</p>
<p>emotional boundaries</p>
<p>authentic relationships</p>
<p>modern dating</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2313162/c1e-4j0qa1p8vwuopg58-kpnm65gktz94-xqyy9x.mp3" length="24968977"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What does a measuring cup have to do with dating, friendship, and self-worth?
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we revisit the infamous 1990s dating book The Rules — not to praise or dismiss it, but to look at what still holds wisdom beneath the criticism. Through the story of a single measuring cup (a gift that nearly ended our relationship before it began), we explore how honesty, authenticity, clarity, and self-respect matter far more than games or mixed signals.
This conversation moves beyond romantic relationships and into the heart of true friendship:


How do you know if a relationship is one-sided?


When does “mystery” become healthy boundaries — and when does it become emotional avoidance?


Why oversharing can be as harmful as silence


What self-worth actually looks like in everyday interactions


And why being “easy to live with” might be one of the most underrated relationship skills of all


In a culture exhausted by busyness, confusion, and ideological extremes, this episode is a gentle reminder to measure what matters, speak honestly, and choose relationships that feel grounded, mutual, and kind.

friendship podcast
relationships podcast
honesty in relationships
self worth and friendship
clarity in dating
healthy friendships
one sided friendships
emotional boundaries
authentic relationships
modern dating]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2313162/c1a-8j1v-6zqkj067cog7-ycu5dp.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:00</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[You’re Not Late — You’re Right on Time | A Friendship Podcast on Belonging & the Art of Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Dec 2025 02:39:06 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2307333</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/youre-not-late-youre-right-on-time-a-friendship-podcast-on-belonging-the-art-of-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What if the feeling of being “too late” isn’t truth—but conditioning?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, a friendship podcast centered on the art of friendship, belonging, and human connection, we talk openly about the fear so many people carry: the belief that they’ve missed their moment.</p>
<p>From finances and careers to friendship, creativity, aging, parenting, and spirituality, we explore how American culture worships early success and quietly shames late bloomers. We unpack how systems, timelines, and social expectations create an artificial sense of scarcity—leaving people feeling out of the loop, behind, or counted out.</p>
<p>This conversation is a reminder that being “late” is often just another story we’ve been told—and one we’re allowed to question. You are not late. You are exactly where you need to be.</p>
<p><em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a friendship podcast dedicated to exploring the art of friendship, meaningful connection, and what it means to be human in today’s world. Each episode examines friendship in adulthood, building authentic relationships, navigating boundaries, belonging, communication, and personal growth.</em></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Does our culture worship early success, shame late bloomers, and build artificial systems that tell us we’ve missed the cutoff—financially, creatively, socially, spiritually, and even as children? From careers and money to friendship, parenting, creativity, aging, and self-worth, this conversation gently dismantles the lie that timing determines value.</p>
<p>Together, they invite listeners to step out of the “line,” question the loop, and remember that odd ducks—the ones who don’t fit neatly—are often the ones who move the world forward.</p>
<p>If you’ve ever felt behind, out of place, or counted out, this episode is for you.</p>
<p>You are not late.<br />You are exactly where you need to be.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What if the feeling of being “too late” isn’t truth—but conditioning?
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, a friendship podcast centered on the art of friendship, belonging, and human connection, we talk openly about the fear so many people carry: the belief that they’ve missed their moment.
From finances and careers to friendship, creativity, aging, parenting, and spirituality, we explore how American culture worships early success and quietly shames late bloomers. We unpack how systems, timelines, and social expectations create an artificial sense of scarcity—leaving people feeling out of the loop, behind, or counted out.
This conversation is a reminder that being “late” is often just another story we’ve been told—and one we’re allowed to question. You are not late. You are exactly where you need to be.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a friendship podcast dedicated to exploring the art of friendship, meaningful connection, and what it means to be human in today’s world. Each episode examines friendship in adulthood, building authentic relationships, navigating boundaries, belonging, communication, and personal growth.


Does our culture worship early success, shame late bloomers, and build artificial systems that tell us we’ve missed the cutoff—financially, creatively, socially, spiritually, and even as children? From careers and money to friendship, parenting, creativity, aging, and self-worth, this conversation gently dismantles the lie that timing determines value.
Together, they invite listeners to step out of the “line,” question the loop, and remember that odd ducks—the ones who don’t fit neatly—are often the ones who move the world forward.
If you’ve ever felt behind, out of place, or counted out, this episode is for you.
You are not late.You are exactly where you need to be.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[You’re Not Late — You’re Right on Time | A Friendship Podcast on Belonging & the Art of Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What if the feeling of being “too late” isn’t truth—but conditioning?</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, a friendship podcast centered on the art of friendship, belonging, and human connection, we talk openly about the fear so many people carry: the belief that they’ve missed their moment.</p>
<p>From finances and careers to friendship, creativity, aging, parenting, and spirituality, we explore how American culture worships early success and quietly shames late bloomers. We unpack how systems, timelines, and social expectations create an artificial sense of scarcity—leaving people feeling out of the loop, behind, or counted out.</p>
<p>This conversation is a reminder that being “late” is often just another story we’ve been told—and one we’re allowed to question. You are not late. You are exactly where you need to be.</p>
<p><em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a friendship podcast dedicated to exploring the art of friendship, meaningful connection, and what it means to be human in today’s world. Each episode examines friendship in adulthood, building authentic relationships, navigating boundaries, belonging, communication, and personal growth.</em></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Does our culture worship early success, shame late bloomers, and build artificial systems that tell us we’ve missed the cutoff—financially, creatively, socially, spiritually, and even as children? From careers and money to friendship, parenting, creativity, aging, and self-worth, this conversation gently dismantles the lie that timing determines value.</p>
<p>Together, they invite listeners to step out of the “line,” question the loop, and remember that odd ducks—the ones who don’t fit neatly—are often the ones who move the world forward.</p>
<p>If you’ve ever felt behind, out of place, or counted out, this episode is for you.</p>
<p>You are not late.<br />You are exactly where you need to be.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2307333/c1e-g6g1bm8212s24919-6zq5672jio8w-ecv4b9.mp3" length="13067176"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What if the feeling of being “too late” isn’t truth—but conditioning?
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, a friendship podcast centered on the art of friendship, belonging, and human connection, we talk openly about the fear so many people carry: the belief that they’ve missed their moment.
From finances and careers to friendship, creativity, aging, parenting, and spirituality, we explore how American culture worships early success and quietly shames late bloomers. We unpack how systems, timelines, and social expectations create an artificial sense of scarcity—leaving people feeling out of the loop, behind, or counted out.
This conversation is a reminder that being “late” is often just another story we’ve been told—and one we’re allowed to question. You are not late. You are exactly where you need to be.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a friendship podcast dedicated to exploring the art of friendship, meaningful connection, and what it means to be human in today’s world. Each episode examines friendship in adulthood, building authentic relationships, navigating boundaries, belonging, communication, and personal growth.


Does our culture worship early success, shame late bloomers, and build artificial systems that tell us we’ve missed the cutoff—financially, creatively, socially, spiritually, and even as children? From careers and money to friendship, parenting, creativity, aging, and self-worth, this conversation gently dismantles the lie that timing determines value.
Together, they invite listeners to step out of the “line,” question the loop, and remember that odd ducks—the ones who don’t fit neatly—are often the ones who move the world forward.
If you’ve ever felt behind, out of place, or counted out, this episode is for you.
You are not late.You are exactly where you need to be.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2307333/c1a-8j1v-34m86vprixvo-4u2fdr.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:13:36</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[We Have Contact: The Lost Language of Human Connection: Presence, Boundaries, and Nonverbal Communication]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Dec 2025 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2301699</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/we-have-contact-the-lost-language-of-human-connection-presence-boundaries-and-nonverbal-communic</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode on the art of friendship,  Fawn and Matt explore…In a world that feels louder, faster, and more disconnected than ever, what does <em>real</em> connection actually look like?</p>
<p>Look at the attention, presence, and the often-unspoken language of human contact. From stepping away from fear-driven media to relearning how to simply sit, listen, and be with another person, they reflect on how distraction erodes intimacy—and how awareness restores it.</p>
<p>The conversation moves through touch and its many meanings: handshakes, fist bumps, shoulder taps, eye contact, and the deep cultural, emotional, and energetic messages carried in even the smallest gestures. They share personal stories—sometimes funny, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes tender—about boundaries, vulnerability, and the longing to connect without words.</p>
<p>This episode is an invitation to slow down, become conscious, and remember that connection doesn’t require force—only presence.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p>Because before we change the world, we have to decide <em>how we enter the room</em>.</p>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#ArtOfFriendship<br />#HumanConnection<br />#MeaningfulConversations<br />#ConsciousLiving</p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#Presence<br />#MindfulConnection<br />#NonverbalCommunication<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#TouchAndBoundaries<br />#IntentionalLiving<br />#DeepListening<br />#EnergeticAwareness</p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#NervousSystem<br />#GroundingTechniques<br />#AnxietySupport<br />#ButterflyHug<br />#EmotionalWellbeing</p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#HumanBehavior<br />#SocialConnection<br />#ModernRelationships<br />#LonelinessAwareness<br />#HealingThroughConnection</p>
<p></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode on the art of friendship,  Fawn and Matt explore…In a world that feels louder, faster, and more disconnected than ever, what does real connection actually look like?
Look at the attention, presence, and the often-unspoken language of human contact. From stepping away from fear-driven media to relearning how to simply sit, listen, and be with another person, they reflect on how distraction erodes intimacy—and how awareness restores it.
The conversation moves through touch and its many meanings: handshakes, fist bumps, shoulder taps, eye contact, and the deep cultural, emotional, and energetic messages carried in even the smallest gestures. They share personal stories—sometimes funny, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes tender—about boundaries, vulnerability, and the longing to connect without words.
This episode is an invitation to slow down, become conscious, and remember that connection doesn’t require force—only presence.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Because before we change the world, we have to decide how we enter the room.
#OurFriendlyWorld#ArtOfFriendship#HumanConnection#MeaningfulConversations#ConsciousLiving

#Presence#MindfulConnection#NonverbalCommunication#EmotionalIntelligence#TouchAndBoundaries#IntentionalLiving#DeepListening#EnergeticAwareness

#NervousSystem#GroundingTechniques#AnxietySupport#ButterflyHug#EmotionalWellbeing

#HumanBehavior#SocialConnection#ModernRelationships#LonelinessAwareness#HealingThroughConnection
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[We Have Contact: The Lost Language of Human Connection: Presence, Boundaries, and Nonverbal Communication]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode on the art of friendship,  Fawn and Matt explore…In a world that feels louder, faster, and more disconnected than ever, what does <em>real</em> connection actually look like?</p>
<p>Look at the attention, presence, and the often-unspoken language of human contact. From stepping away from fear-driven media to relearning how to simply sit, listen, and be with another person, they reflect on how distraction erodes intimacy—and how awareness restores it.</p>
<p>The conversation moves through touch and its many meanings: handshakes, fist bumps, shoulder taps, eye contact, and the deep cultural, emotional, and energetic messages carried in even the smallest gestures. They share personal stories—sometimes funny, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes tender—about boundaries, vulnerability, and the longing to connect without words.</p>
<p>This episode is an invitation to slow down, become conscious, and remember that connection doesn’t require force—only presence.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p>Because before we change the world, we have to decide <em>how we enter the room</em>.</p>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#ArtOfFriendship<br />#HumanConnection<br />#MeaningfulConversations<br />#ConsciousLiving</p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#Presence<br />#MindfulConnection<br />#NonverbalCommunication<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#TouchAndBoundaries<br />#IntentionalLiving<br />#DeepListening<br />#EnergeticAwareness</p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#NervousSystem<br />#GroundingTechniques<br />#AnxietySupport<br />#ButterflyHug<br />#EmotionalWellbeing</p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#HumanBehavior<br />#SocialConnection<br />#ModernRelationships<br />#LonelinessAwareness<br />#HealingThroughConnection</p>
<p></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2301699/c1e-4j0qa1q390fopg5q-wwpdz78wh8qk-qwz5zc.mp3" length="20661910"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode on the art of friendship,  Fawn and Matt explore…In a world that feels louder, faster, and more disconnected than ever, what does real connection actually look like?
Look at the attention, presence, and the often-unspoken language of human contact. From stepping away from fear-driven media to relearning how to simply sit, listen, and be with another person, they reflect on how distraction erodes intimacy—and how awareness restores it.
The conversation moves through touch and its many meanings: handshakes, fist bumps, shoulder taps, eye contact, and the deep cultural, emotional, and energetic messages carried in even the smallest gestures. They share personal stories—sometimes funny, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes tender—about boundaries, vulnerability, and the longing to connect without words.
This episode is an invitation to slow down, become conscious, and remember that connection doesn’t require force—only presence.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Because before we change the world, we have to decide how we enter the room.
#OurFriendlyWorld#ArtOfFriendship#HumanConnection#MeaningfulConversations#ConsciousLiving

#Presence#MindfulConnection#NonverbalCommunication#EmotionalIntelligence#TouchAndBoundaries#IntentionalLiving#DeepListening#EnergeticAwareness

#NervousSystem#GroundingTechniques#AnxietySupport#ButterflyHug#EmotionalWellbeing

#HumanBehavior#SocialConnection#ModernRelationships#LonelinessAwareness#HealingThroughConnection
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2301699/c1a-8j1v-okj14pz9ax5q-uwvacw.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:31</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Public, Private, Secret: The Hidden Architecture of Friendship - What We Hide in Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Dec 2025 07:31:57 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2289073</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/public-private-secret-the-hidden-architecture-of-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of our friendship podcast, Fawn and Matt explore…What if friendship isn’t about being <em>fully open</em> with everyone—but about knowing <strong>what belongs where</strong>?</p>
<p>In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the idea that we each live <strong>three lives</strong>:<br />the <strong>public</strong>, the <strong>private</strong>, and the <strong>secret</strong>.</p>
<p>Together, they unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>What we show the world versus what we reserve for close relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why boundaries aren’t walls—but sanctuaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How oversharing can blur lines and complicate friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why emotional honesty is often welcomed… but only the <em>positive</em> kind</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How age, experience, and discernment change the way we make friends</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>With humor, vulnerability, and real-life examples (including politeness-as-protection and secret chocolate stashes), this conversation gently reframes boundaries not as cold or calculating—but as essential for emotional health, creativity, and trust.</p>
<p>Whether you’ve ever felt misunderstood, “too much,” or unsure of how much of yourself to share, this episode invites you to rethink access, safety, and connection—and to honor the sacred space where growth begins.</p>
<h2><br /><br /></h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Public vs private vs secret selves</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Boundaries as emotional safety</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why work culture only welcomes “positive” emotions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Friendship discernment as we grow</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Vulnerability without self-betrayal</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Protecting ideas, creativity, and inner life</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Aristotle’s three types of friendship (Nichomachean Ethics)</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h2><br /><br /></h2>
<p>public vs private life<br />friendship boundaries<br />emotional boundaries<br />oversharing in relationships<br />authenticity and boundaries<br />healthy friendships<br />emotional safety<br />self disclosure<br />personal boundaries<br />types of friendship</p>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#FriendshipPodcast<br />#HealthyBoundaries<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#AuthenticConnection<br />#PersonalGrowth<br />#VulnerabilityWithBoundaries<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#InnerLife<br />#RelationalWisdom</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>We are not meant to be fully visible to everyone.<br />Some parts of us belong to the world.<br />Some belong to the people we trust.<br />And some need quiet—<br />a sacred space to grow before they are spoken.</p>
<p>This week on <em>Our Friendly World</em>,<br />we explore the <strong>public, the private, and the secret</strong>—<br />and why honoring each layer<br />might be the key to healthier friendships,<br />stronger boundaries,<br />and a more whole self.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p>Listen with an open heart.</p>
<p>“Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re sanctuaries.”</p>
<p>“As we get older, we don’t make fewer friends—we make more discerning ones.”</p>
<p>“There’s nothing wrong with having a public face, a private circle, and a sacred inner space.”</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of our friendship podcast, Fawn and Matt explore…What if friendship isn’t about being fully open with everyone—but about knowing what belongs where?
In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the idea that we each live three lives:the public, the private, and the secret.
Together, they unpack:


What we show the world versus what we reserve for close relationships


Why boundaries aren’t walls—but sanctuaries


How oversharing can blur lines and complicate friendships


Why emotional honesty is often welcomed… but only the positive kind


How age, experience, and discernment change the way we make friends


With humor, vulnerability, and real-life examples (including politeness-as-protection and secret chocolate stashes), this conversation gently reframes boundaries not as cold or calculating—but as essential for emotional health, creativity, and trust.
Whether you’ve ever felt misunderstood, “too much,” or unsure of how much of yourself to share, this episode invites you to rethink access, safety, and connection—and to honor the sacred space where growth begins.



Public vs private vs secret selves


Boundaries as emotional safety


Why work culture only welcomes “positive” emotions


Friendship discernment as we grow


Vulnerability without self-betrayal


Protecting ideas, creativity, and inner life


Aristotle’s three types of friendship (Nichomachean Ethics)



public vs private lifefriendship boundariesemotional boundariesoversharing in relationshipsauthenticity and boundarieshealthy friendshipsemotional safetyself disclosurepersonal boundariestypes of friendship
#OurFriendlyWorld#FriendshipPodcast#HealthyBoundaries#EmotionalIntelligence#AuthenticConnection#PersonalGrowth#VulnerabilityWithBoundaries#FriendshipMatters#InnerLife#RelationalWisdom


We are not meant to be fully visible to everyone.Some parts of us belong to the world.Some belong to the people we trust.And some need quiet—a sacred space to grow before they are spoken.
This week on Our Friendly World,we explore the public, the private, and the secret—and why honoring each layermight be the key to healthier friendships,stronger boundaries,and a more whole self.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Listen with an open heart.
“Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re sanctuaries.”
“As we get older, we don’t make fewer friends—we make more discerning ones.”
“There’s nothing wrong with having a public face, a private circle, and a sacred inner space.”]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Public, Private, Secret: The Hidden Architecture of Friendship - What We Hide in Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of our friendship podcast, Fawn and Matt explore…What if friendship isn’t about being <em>fully open</em> with everyone—but about knowing <strong>what belongs where</strong>?</p>
<p>In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the idea that we each live <strong>three lives</strong>:<br />the <strong>public</strong>, the <strong>private</strong>, and the <strong>secret</strong>.</p>
<p>Together, they unpack:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>What we show the world versus what we reserve for close relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why boundaries aren’t walls—but sanctuaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How oversharing can blur lines and complicate friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why emotional honesty is often welcomed… but only the <em>positive</em> kind</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How age, experience, and discernment change the way we make friends</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>With humor, vulnerability, and real-life examples (including politeness-as-protection and secret chocolate stashes), this conversation gently reframes boundaries not as cold or calculating—but as essential for emotional health, creativity, and trust.</p>
<p>Whether you’ve ever felt misunderstood, “too much,” or unsure of how much of yourself to share, this episode invites you to rethink access, safety, and connection—and to honor the sacred space where growth begins.</p>
<h2><br /><br /></h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Public vs private vs secret selves</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Boundaries as emotional safety</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why work culture only welcomes “positive” emotions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Friendship discernment as we grow</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Vulnerability without self-betrayal</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Protecting ideas, creativity, and inner life</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Aristotle’s three types of friendship (Nichomachean Ethics)</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h2><br /><br /></h2>
<p>public vs private life<br />friendship boundaries<br />emotional boundaries<br />oversharing in relationships<br />authenticity and boundaries<br />healthy friendships<br />emotional safety<br />self disclosure<br />personal boundaries<br />types of friendship</p>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#FriendshipPodcast<br />#HealthyBoundaries<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#AuthenticConnection<br />#PersonalGrowth<br />#VulnerabilityWithBoundaries<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#InnerLife<br />#RelationalWisdom</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>We are not meant to be fully visible to everyone.<br />Some parts of us belong to the world.<br />Some belong to the people we trust.<br />And some need quiet—<br />a sacred space to grow before they are spoken.</p>
<p>This week on <em>Our Friendly World</em>,<br />we explore the <strong>public, the private, and the secret</strong>—<br />and why honoring each layer<br />might be the key to healthier friendships,<br />stronger boundaries,<br />and a more whole self.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p>Listen with an open heart.</p>
<p>“Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re sanctuaries.”</p>
<p>“As we get older, we don’t make fewer friends—we make more discerning ones.”</p>
<p>“There’s nothing wrong with having a public face, a private circle, and a sacred inner space.”</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2289073/c1e-1j3za5p1g9fxv902-25mvmmp3hzn-ci1ds4.mp3" length="23652002"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of our friendship podcast, Fawn and Matt explore…What if friendship isn’t about being fully open with everyone—but about knowing what belongs where?
In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the idea that we each live three lives:the public, the private, and the secret.
Together, they unpack:


What we show the world versus what we reserve for close relationships


Why boundaries aren’t walls—but sanctuaries


How oversharing can blur lines and complicate friendships


Why emotional honesty is often welcomed… but only the positive kind


How age, experience, and discernment change the way we make friends


With humor, vulnerability, and real-life examples (including politeness-as-protection and secret chocolate stashes), this conversation gently reframes boundaries not as cold or calculating—but as essential for emotional health, creativity, and trust.
Whether you’ve ever felt misunderstood, “too much,” or unsure of how much of yourself to share, this episode invites you to rethink access, safety, and connection—and to honor the sacred space where growth begins.



Public vs private vs secret selves


Boundaries as emotional safety


Why work culture only welcomes “positive” emotions


Friendship discernment as we grow


Vulnerability without self-betrayal


Protecting ideas, creativity, and inner life


Aristotle’s three types of friendship (Nichomachean Ethics)



public vs private lifefriendship boundariesemotional boundariesoversharing in relationshipsauthenticity and boundarieshealthy friendshipsemotional safetyself disclosurepersonal boundariestypes of friendship
#OurFriendlyWorld#FriendshipPodcast#HealthyBoundaries#EmotionalIntelligence#AuthenticConnection#PersonalGrowth#VulnerabilityWithBoundaries#FriendshipMatters#InnerLife#RelationalWisdom


We are not meant to be fully visible to everyone.Some parts of us belong to the world.Some belong to the people we trust.And some need quiet—a sacred space to grow before they are spoken.
This week on Our Friendly World,we explore the public, the private, and the secret—and why honoring each layermight be the key to healthier friendships,stronger boundaries,and a more whole self.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Listen with an open heart.
“Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re sanctuaries.”
“As we get older, we don’t make fewer friends—we make more discerning ones.”
“There’s nothing wrong with having a public face, a private circle, and a sacred inner space.”]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2289073/c1a-8j1v-z3pvpp6wtp4z-skkk93.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:24:38</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Two Lenses That Shape Every Relationship”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Dec 2025 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2274397</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-two-lenses-that-shape-every-relationship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>In this episode of our friendship podcast, Fawn and Matt explore… two powerful forces that shape every relationship: </strong><em>perception</em><strong> and </strong><em>perspective</em><strong>.</strong></p>
<p>Perception is the world as <em>you</em> experience it — your sensations, your emotions, your history, your inner story. It's how you move through life as the center of your own universe. But everyone around you is doing the exact same thing.</p>
<p>Perspective, on the other hand, invites you to step outside yourself — to see someone else’s physical reality, emotional state, limitations, needs, and experiences.</p>
<p>Using everyday examples (like why the salt jar is “invisible” to someone who’s 6'4", or why a too-high shelf can feel like betrayal), Fawn and Matt unpack how easily misunderstandings happen when we assume others see what we see or feel what we feel.</p>
<p>Fawn shares Horst Rechelbacher’s insight about how every person hears the same words differently based on their life history. Matt discusses his intuitive approach to understanding people, and why empathy can sometimes be overwhelming. Together they explore how shifting into true perspective — without assumptions, without psychic overload — can create more compassion, deeper connection, and more harmonious friendships.</p>
<p><strong>This episode is a gentle reminder that sometimes love looks like noticing someone’s height, their tiredness, their discomfort in a chair… and caring enough to respond.</strong></p>
<p><strong>In this episode:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>What <em>perception</em> truly means and how it colors every moment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why people can hear the same words completely differently</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The difference between emotional intuition and objective observation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to step into someone else’s real-world perspective</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why small details (like reaching shelves or seeing countertops) matter in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The primal human need to feel cared for and understood</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The “good host” approach: noticing someone’s environment and needs</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How perspective-taking strengthens friendships and prevents conflict</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><br />Understanding someone else isn’t magic. It’s awareness in motion — noticing, caring, and choosing connection.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>perception vs perspective</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>understanding relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional awareness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>empathy in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>miscommunication in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to deepen connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>perspective-taking examples</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>seeing from someone else’s point of view</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>communication in marriage</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how perception shapes reality</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>compassion in everyday life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#PerceptionVsPerspective<br />#RelationshipWisdom<br />#FriendshipPodcast<br />#EmpathyMatters<br />#CommunicationSkills<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#SeeEachOtherClearly<br />#UnderstandingPeople<br />#HumanConnection<br />#PerspectiveShift<br />#ConnectionMatters<br />#DeepListening<br />#CompassionInAction<br />#EverydayEmpathy<br />#OurFriendlyWorldPodcast<br />#FawnAndMatt<br />#MindfulRelationships<br />#AwarenessPractice<br />#BetterTogether<br />#FriendshipMatters</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of our friendship podcast, Fawn and Matt explore… two powerful forces that shape every relationship: perception and perspective.
Perception is the world as you experience it — your sensations, your emotions, your history, your inner story. It's how you move through life as the center of your own universe. But everyone around you is doing the exact same thing.
Perspective, on the other hand, invites you to step outside yourself — to see someone else’s physical reality, emotional state, limitations, needs, and experiences.
Using everyday examples (like why the salt jar is “invisible” to someone who’s 6'4", or why a too-high shelf can feel like betrayal), Fawn and Matt unpack how easily misunderstandings happen when we assume others see what we see or feel what we feel.
Fawn shares Horst Rechelbacher’s insight about how every person hears the same words differently based on their life history. Matt discusses his intuitive approach to understanding people, and why empathy can sometimes be overwhelming. Together they explore how shifting into true perspective — without assumptions, without psychic overload — can create more compassion, deeper connection, and more harmonious friendships.
This episode is a gentle reminder that sometimes love looks like noticing someone’s height, their tiredness, their discomfort in a chair… and caring enough to respond.
In this episode:


What perception truly means and how it colors every moment


Why people can hear the same words completely differently


The difference between emotional intuition and objective observation


How to step into someone else’s real-world perspective


Why small details (like reaching shelves or seeing countertops) matter in relationships


The primal human need to feel cared for and understood


The “good host” approach: noticing someone’s environment and needs


How perspective-taking strengthens friendships and prevents conflict


Takeaway:Understanding someone else isn’t magic. It’s awareness in motion — noticing, caring, and choosing connection.


perception vs perspective


understanding relationships


emotional awareness


empathy in friendships


miscommunication in relationships


how to deepen connection


perspective-taking examples


seeing from someone else’s point of view


communication in marriage


friendship podcast


Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt


how perception shapes reality


compassion in everyday life


#PerceptionVsPerspective#RelationshipWisdom#FriendshipPodcast#EmpathyMatters#CommunicationSkills#EmotionalIntelligence#SeeEachOtherClearly#UnderstandingPeople#HumanConnection#PerspectiveShift#ConnectionMatters#DeepListening#CompassionInAction#EverydayEmpathy#OurFriendlyWorldPodcast#FawnAndMatt#MindfulRelationships#AwarenessPractice#BetterTogether#FriendshipMatters
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Two Lenses That Shape Every Relationship”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>In this episode of our friendship podcast, Fawn and Matt explore… two powerful forces that shape every relationship: </strong><em>perception</em><strong> and </strong><em>perspective</em><strong>.</strong></p>
<p>Perception is the world as <em>you</em> experience it — your sensations, your emotions, your history, your inner story. It's how you move through life as the center of your own universe. But everyone around you is doing the exact same thing.</p>
<p>Perspective, on the other hand, invites you to step outside yourself — to see someone else’s physical reality, emotional state, limitations, needs, and experiences.</p>
<p>Using everyday examples (like why the salt jar is “invisible” to someone who’s 6'4", or why a too-high shelf can feel like betrayal), Fawn and Matt unpack how easily misunderstandings happen when we assume others see what we see or feel what we feel.</p>
<p>Fawn shares Horst Rechelbacher’s insight about how every person hears the same words differently based on their life history. Matt discusses his intuitive approach to understanding people, and why empathy can sometimes be overwhelming. Together they explore how shifting into true perspective — without assumptions, without psychic overload — can create more compassion, deeper connection, and more harmonious friendships.</p>
<p><strong>This episode is a gentle reminder that sometimes love looks like noticing someone’s height, their tiredness, their discomfort in a chair… and caring enough to respond.</strong></p>
<p><strong>In this episode:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>What <em>perception</em> truly means and how it colors every moment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why people can hear the same words completely differently</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The difference between emotional intuition and objective observation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to step into someone else’s real-world perspective</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why small details (like reaching shelves or seeing countertops) matter in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The primal human need to feel cared for and understood</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The “good host” approach: noticing someone’s environment and needs</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How perspective-taking strengthens friendships and prevents conflict</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><br />Understanding someone else isn’t magic. It’s awareness in motion — noticing, caring, and choosing connection.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>perception vs perspective</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>understanding relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional awareness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>empathy in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>miscommunication in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to deepen connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>perspective-taking examples</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>seeing from someone else’s point of view</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>communication in marriage</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how perception shapes reality</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>compassion in everyday life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#PerceptionVsPerspective<br />#RelationshipWisdom<br />#FriendshipPodcast<br />#EmpathyMatters<br />#CommunicationSkills<br />#EmotionalIntelligence<br />#SeeEachOtherClearly<br />#UnderstandingPeople<br />#HumanConnection<br />#PerspectiveShift<br />#ConnectionMatters<br />#DeepListening<br />#CompassionInAction<br />#EverydayEmpathy<br />#OurFriendlyWorldPodcast<br />#FawnAndMatt<br />#MindfulRelationships<br />#AwarenessPractice<br />#BetterTogether<br />#FriendshipMatters</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2274397/c1e-n670bdjqx7a9z41m-5zdnr1z7fdxr-dvsy0i.mp3" length="11909438"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of our friendship podcast, Fawn and Matt explore… two powerful forces that shape every relationship: perception and perspective.
Perception is the world as you experience it — your sensations, your emotions, your history, your inner story. It's how you move through life as the center of your own universe. But everyone around you is doing the exact same thing.
Perspective, on the other hand, invites you to step outside yourself — to see someone else’s physical reality, emotional state, limitations, needs, and experiences.
Using everyday examples (like why the salt jar is “invisible” to someone who’s 6'4", or why a too-high shelf can feel like betrayal), Fawn and Matt unpack how easily misunderstandings happen when we assume others see what we see or feel what we feel.
Fawn shares Horst Rechelbacher’s insight about how every person hears the same words differently based on their life history. Matt discusses his intuitive approach to understanding people, and why empathy can sometimes be overwhelming. Together they explore how shifting into true perspective — without assumptions, without psychic overload — can create more compassion, deeper connection, and more harmonious friendships.
This episode is a gentle reminder that sometimes love looks like noticing someone’s height, their tiredness, their discomfort in a chair… and caring enough to respond.
In this episode:


What perception truly means and how it colors every moment


Why people can hear the same words completely differently


The difference between emotional intuition and objective observation


How to step into someone else’s real-world perspective


Why small details (like reaching shelves or seeing countertops) matter in relationships


The primal human need to feel cared for and understood


The “good host” approach: noticing someone’s environment and needs


How perspective-taking strengthens friendships and prevents conflict


Takeaway:Understanding someone else isn’t magic. It’s awareness in motion — noticing, caring, and choosing connection.


perception vs perspective


understanding relationships


emotional awareness


empathy in friendships


miscommunication in relationships


how to deepen connection


perspective-taking examples


seeing from someone else’s point of view


communication in marriage


friendship podcast


Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt


how perception shapes reality


compassion in everyday life


#PerceptionVsPerspective#RelationshipWisdom#FriendshipPodcast#EmpathyMatters#CommunicationSkills#EmotionalIntelligence#SeeEachOtherClearly#UnderstandingPeople#HumanConnection#PerspectiveShift#ConnectionMatters#DeepListening#CompassionInAction#EverydayEmpathy#OurFriendlyWorldPodcast#FawnAndMatt#MindfulRelationships#AwarenessPractice#BetterTogether#FriendshipMatters
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2274397/c1a-8j1v-7zxgn2z6cgzm-rlpzfk.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:12:24</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Brain Filter That Shapes Your World — and Your Friendships” Brain Reticular Activation: How Your Mind Shapes Your Relationships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 Dec 2025 03:27:29 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2259963</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-brain-filter-that-shapes-your-world-and-your-friendships-brain-reticular-activation-how-you</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we take a deep dive into the surprising ways your brain filters your world — and how those filters shape your connections, your confidence, and your friendships.</p>
<p>Matt shares a rabbit-hole revelation about the reticular activating system — the part of the brain that constantly searches for evidence to prove you <em>right</em>. Whether you believe your day will be terrible or beautiful, your brain goes to work collecting proof. Whether you feel successful or like you're “not there yet,” your brain will reflect those beliefs right back at you.</p>
<p>Fawn opens up about a recent conversation that highlighted how harsh self-talk can cloud our perception of ourselves and others. Together, Fawn and Matt explore how emotional exhaustion, repeated disappointment, and loneliness can make us believe “people suck” — and how the brain eagerly confirms that worldview unless we consciously shift our focus.</p>
<p>The conversation moves into the heart of friendship:<br />How do we reconnect when we feel hurt?<br />How do we stay open when our brains keep showing us reasons to shut down?<br />And how can we “clean our mental palate,” reset our expectations, and invite good people into our lives again?</p>
<p>This episode is a reminder that while the brain tries to prove us right, <em>we</em> get to choose the story it tells. With small shifts in attention, curiosity, and self-compassion, we can re-open the door to connection — and let our brains start finding the friends we’re hoping for.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>reticular activating system friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>brain confirmation bias relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how thoughts shape friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience and connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>overcoming friendship hurt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>negative self-talk and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>rewiring the brain for positivity</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>loneliness and human connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to find good friends</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindset and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>reset your mindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>healing from disappointment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how thoughts shape reality</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast<br />#BrainScience<br />#ReticularActivatingSystem<br />#MindsetShift<br />#ConfirmationBias<br />#EmotionalHealing<br />#ChangeYourThoughts<br />#ConnectionMatters<br />#HealingJourney<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#FawnAndMatt<br />#RelationshipWisdom<br />#LonelinessSolutions<br />#PositiveMindset</p>
<p>#HumanConnection<br />#SelfWorth<br />#ThoughtWork<br />#NeuroscienceDaily<br />#PersonalGrowthJourney<br />#BoundariesAndBalance<br />#SeeTheGood<br />#MindBodySpirit<br />#NewEpisodeAlert<br />#PodcastCommunity</p>
<h1>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.<br /><br /></h1>
<p>Your brain is always trying to prove you right — but what are you telling it to look for?</p>
<p>In this week’s episode, we explore how the reticular activating system filters your world, shapes your relationships, and even reinforces the belief that “people suck” when you’re hurt or lonely.<br />But with small shifts in focus, you can train your brain to see the good again — and open the door to genuine friendship.</p>
<p><em>Listen now on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt.</em></p>
<h1><br /><br /></h1>
<p>Your brain is constantly collecting evidence to support your beliefs — good or bad. This episode explores how the reticular activating system shapes your reality, your relationships, and your ability to trust after hurt.<br />Learn how to reset your mind, shift your focus, and let your brain start finding the good people again.</p>
<h1><br /><br /></h1>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we take a deep dive into the surprising ways your brain filters your world — and how those filters shape your connections, your confidence, and your friendships.
Matt shares a rabbit-hole revelation about the reticular activating system — the part of the brain that constantly searches for evidence to prove you right. Whether you believe your day will be terrible or beautiful, your brain goes to work collecting proof. Whether you feel successful or like you're “not there yet,” your brain will reflect those beliefs right back at you.
Fawn opens up about a recent conversation that highlighted how harsh self-talk can cloud our perception of ourselves and others. Together, Fawn and Matt explore how emotional exhaustion, repeated disappointment, and loneliness can make us believe “people suck” — and how the brain eagerly confirms that worldview unless we consciously shift our focus.
The conversation moves into the heart of friendship:How do we reconnect when we feel hurt?How do we stay open when our brains keep showing us reasons to shut down?And how can we “clean our mental palate,” reset our expectations, and invite good people into our lives again?
This episode is a reminder that while the brain tries to prove us right, we get to choose the story it tells. With small shifts in attention, curiosity, and self-compassion, we can re-open the door to connection — and let our brains start finding the friends we’re hoping for.


reticular activating system friendship


brain confirmation bias relationships


how thoughts shape friendships


emotional resilience and connection


overcoming friendship hurt


negative self-talk and relationships


rewiring the brain for positivity


loneliness and human connection


how to find good friends


friendship podcast


Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt


mindset and relationships


reset your mindset


healing from disappointment


how thoughts shape reality


#FriendshipPodcast#BrainScience#ReticularActivatingSystem#MindsetShift#ConfirmationBias#EmotionalHealing#ChangeYourThoughts#ConnectionMatters#HealingJourney#OurFriendlyWorld#FawnAndMatt#RelationshipWisdom#LonelinessSolutions#PositiveMindset
#HumanConnection#SelfWorth#ThoughtWork#NeuroscienceDaily#PersonalGrowthJourney#BoundariesAndBalance#SeeTheGood#MindBodySpirit#NewEpisodeAlert#PodcastCommunity
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Your brain is always trying to prove you right — but what are you telling it to look for?
In this week’s episode, we explore how the reticular activating system filters your world, shapes your relationships, and even reinforces the belief that “people suck” when you’re hurt or lonely.But with small shifts in focus, you can train your brain to see the good again — and open the door to genuine friendship.
Listen now on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt.

Your brain is constantly collecting evidence to support your beliefs — good or bad. This episode explores how the reticular activating system shapes your reality, your relationships, and your ability to trust after hurt.Learn how to reset your mind, shift your focus, and let your brain start finding the good people again.
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Brain Filter That Shapes Your World — and Your Friendships” Brain Reticular Activation: How Your Mind Shapes Your Relationships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we take a deep dive into the surprising ways your brain filters your world — and how those filters shape your connections, your confidence, and your friendships.</p>
<p>Matt shares a rabbit-hole revelation about the reticular activating system — the part of the brain that constantly searches for evidence to prove you <em>right</em>. Whether you believe your day will be terrible or beautiful, your brain goes to work collecting proof. Whether you feel successful or like you're “not there yet,” your brain will reflect those beliefs right back at you.</p>
<p>Fawn opens up about a recent conversation that highlighted how harsh self-talk can cloud our perception of ourselves and others. Together, Fawn and Matt explore how emotional exhaustion, repeated disappointment, and loneliness can make us believe “people suck” — and how the brain eagerly confirms that worldview unless we consciously shift our focus.</p>
<p>The conversation moves into the heart of friendship:<br />How do we reconnect when we feel hurt?<br />How do we stay open when our brains keep showing us reasons to shut down?<br />And how can we “clean our mental palate,” reset our expectations, and invite good people into our lives again?</p>
<p>This episode is a reminder that while the brain tries to prove us right, <em>we</em> get to choose the story it tells. With small shifts in attention, curiosity, and self-compassion, we can re-open the door to connection — and let our brains start finding the friends we’re hoping for.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>reticular activating system friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>brain confirmation bias relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how thoughts shape friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience and connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>overcoming friendship hurt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>negative self-talk and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>rewiring the brain for positivity</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>loneliness and human connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to find good friends</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindset and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>reset your mindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>healing from disappointment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how thoughts shape reality</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast<br />#BrainScience<br />#ReticularActivatingSystem<br />#MindsetShift<br />#ConfirmationBias<br />#EmotionalHealing<br />#ChangeYourThoughts<br />#ConnectionMatters<br />#HealingJourney<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#FawnAndMatt<br />#RelationshipWisdom<br />#LonelinessSolutions<br />#PositiveMindset</p>
<p>#HumanConnection<br />#SelfWorth<br />#ThoughtWork<br />#NeuroscienceDaily<br />#PersonalGrowthJourney<br />#BoundariesAndBalance<br />#SeeTheGood<br />#MindBodySpirit<br />#NewEpisodeAlert<br />#PodcastCommunity</p>
<h1>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.<br /><br /></h1>
<p>Your brain is always trying to prove you right — but what are you telling it to look for?</p>
<p>In this week’s episode, we explore how the reticular activating system filters your world, shapes your relationships, and even reinforces the belief that “people suck” when you’re hurt or lonely.<br />But with small shifts in focus, you can train your brain to see the good again — and open the door to genuine friendship.</p>
<p><em>Listen now on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt.</em></p>
<h1><br /><br /></h1>
<p>Your brain is constantly collecting evidence to support your beliefs — good or bad. This episode explores how the reticular activating system shapes your reality, your relationships, and your ability to trust after hurt.<br />Learn how to reset your mind, shift your focus, and let your brain start finding the good people again.</p>
<h1><br /><br /></h1>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2259963/c1e-q63gbdqx6pa0v2vv-mkwp25kxf4d0-xsuh3m.mp3" length="14296799"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we take a deep dive into the surprising ways your brain filters your world — and how those filters shape your connections, your confidence, and your friendships.
Matt shares a rabbit-hole revelation about the reticular activating system — the part of the brain that constantly searches for evidence to prove you right. Whether you believe your day will be terrible or beautiful, your brain goes to work collecting proof. Whether you feel successful or like you're “not there yet,” your brain will reflect those beliefs right back at you.
Fawn opens up about a recent conversation that highlighted how harsh self-talk can cloud our perception of ourselves and others. Together, Fawn and Matt explore how emotional exhaustion, repeated disappointment, and loneliness can make us believe “people suck” — and how the brain eagerly confirms that worldview unless we consciously shift our focus.
The conversation moves into the heart of friendship:How do we reconnect when we feel hurt?How do we stay open when our brains keep showing us reasons to shut down?And how can we “clean our mental palate,” reset our expectations, and invite good people into our lives again?
This episode is a reminder that while the brain tries to prove us right, we get to choose the story it tells. With small shifts in attention, curiosity, and self-compassion, we can re-open the door to connection — and let our brains start finding the friends we’re hoping for.


reticular activating system friendship


brain confirmation bias relationships


how thoughts shape friendships


emotional resilience and connection


overcoming friendship hurt


negative self-talk and relationships


rewiring the brain for positivity


loneliness and human connection


how to find good friends


friendship podcast


Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt


mindset and relationships


reset your mindset


healing from disappointment


how thoughts shape reality


#FriendshipPodcast#BrainScience#ReticularActivatingSystem#MindsetShift#ConfirmationBias#EmotionalHealing#ChangeYourThoughts#ConnectionMatters#HealingJourney#OurFriendlyWorld#FawnAndMatt#RelationshipWisdom#LonelinessSolutions#PositiveMindset
#HumanConnection#SelfWorth#ThoughtWork#NeuroscienceDaily#PersonalGrowthJourney#BoundariesAndBalance#SeeTheGood#MindBodySpirit#NewEpisodeAlert#PodcastCommunity
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Your brain is always trying to prove you right — but what are you telling it to look for?
In this week’s episode, we explore how the reticular activating system filters your world, shapes your relationships, and even reinforces the belief that “people suck” when you’re hurt or lonely.But with small shifts in focus, you can train your brain to see the good again — and open the door to genuine friendship.
Listen now on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt.

Your brain is constantly collecting evidence to support your beliefs — good or bad. This episode explores how the reticular activating system shapes your reality, your relationships, and your ability to trust after hurt.Learn how to reset your mind, shift your focus, and let your brain start finding the good people again.
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2259963/c1a-8j1v-mkwp25k4c3wk-6o4ei8.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:14:53</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Connected in Ways We Can’t See: Synchronicity, Trust, and the Web of Us]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Nov 2025 03:36:19 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2240501</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-in-ways-we-cant-see-synchronicity-trust-and-the-web-of-us</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this week’s episode, Fawn and Matt follow an unexpected thread of synchronicity. that unravels into something deeper—a reminder that life is held together by invisible connections. What starts as an inconvenient blunder, becomes a cascade of seemingly unrelated moments that line up <em>too perfectly</em> to be coincidence.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt explore how trust shows up in everyday life: the trust to follow a nudge, the trust to not react, and the trust to believe that the world is quietly working in our favor.</p>
<p>They share a story that reveals how interconnected we truly are—how we are each part of a web so vast and intricate that every so often, life gives us a glimpse of the pattern. These moments of alignment remind us that we’re guided, supported, and never as alone as we sometimes feel.</p>
<p>Let's slow down, listen to the whispers of intuition, and recognize the invisible hands and hearts that make life’s path gently fall into place.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>synchronicity stories</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>trusting your intuition</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>interconnectedness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>invisible connections in life</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>signs from the universe</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>following intuition</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how everything is connected</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>everyday spirituality</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and trust</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>podcast about intuition</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mystical life experiences</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>listening to your inner voice</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>meaningful coincidences</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>spiritual alignment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>universal connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>trust in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>guided experiences</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>recognizing signs in daily life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br />#SynchronicityStories #InterconnectedLives #InvisibleWebOfLife #TrustingTheSigns #EverydayMysticism #UniversalConnection #IntuitionLed #MeaningfulCoincidences<br />#TrustTheProcess #Synchronicity #Intuition #SpiritualJourney #Connectedness #LifeAlignment #ListenWithin #GuidedLiving #FriendshipPodcast</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week’s episode, Fawn and Matt follow an unexpected thread of synchronicity. that unravels into something deeper—a reminder that life is held together by invisible connections. What starts as an inconvenient blunder, becomes a cascade of seemingly unrelated moments that line up too perfectly to be coincidence.
Fawn and Matt explore how trust shows up in everyday life: the trust to follow a nudge, the trust to not react, and the trust to believe that the world is quietly working in our favor.
They share a story that reveals how interconnected we truly are—how we are each part of a web so vast and intricate that every so often, life gives us a glimpse of the pattern. These moments of alignment remind us that we’re guided, supported, and never as alone as we sometimes feel.
Let's slow down, listen to the whispers of intuition, and recognize the invisible hands and hearts that make life’s path gently fall into place.


synchronicity stories


trusting your intuition


interconnectedness


invisible connections in life


signs from the universe


following intuition


how everything is connected


everyday spirituality


friendship and trust


podcast about intuition


mystical life experiences


listening to your inner voice


meaningful coincidences


spiritual alignment


universal connection


trust in relationships


guided experiences


recognizing signs in daily life


#SynchronicityStories #InterconnectedLives #InvisibleWebOfLife #TrustingTheSigns #EverydayMysticism #UniversalConnection #IntuitionLed #MeaningfulCoincidences#TrustTheProcess #Synchronicity #Intuition #SpiritualJourney #Connectedness #LifeAlignment #ListenWithin #GuidedLiving #FriendshipPodcast
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Connected in Ways We Can’t See: Synchronicity, Trust, and the Web of Us]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this week’s episode, Fawn and Matt follow an unexpected thread of synchronicity. that unravels into something deeper—a reminder that life is held together by invisible connections. What starts as an inconvenient blunder, becomes a cascade of seemingly unrelated moments that line up <em>too perfectly</em> to be coincidence.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt explore how trust shows up in everyday life: the trust to follow a nudge, the trust to not react, and the trust to believe that the world is quietly working in our favor.</p>
<p>They share a story that reveals how interconnected we truly are—how we are each part of a web so vast and intricate that every so often, life gives us a glimpse of the pattern. These moments of alignment remind us that we’re guided, supported, and never as alone as we sometimes feel.</p>
<p>Let's slow down, listen to the whispers of intuition, and recognize the invisible hands and hearts that make life’s path gently fall into place.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>synchronicity stories</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>trusting your intuition</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>interconnectedness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>invisible connections in life</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>signs from the universe</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>following intuition</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how everything is connected</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>everyday spirituality</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and trust</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>podcast about intuition</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mystical life experiences</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>listening to your inner voice</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>meaningful coincidences</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>spiritual alignment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>universal connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>trust in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>guided experiences</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>recognizing signs in daily life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br />#SynchronicityStories #InterconnectedLives #InvisibleWebOfLife #TrustingTheSigns #EverydayMysticism #UniversalConnection #IntuitionLed #MeaningfulCoincidences<br />#TrustTheProcess #Synchronicity #Intuition #SpiritualJourney #Connectedness #LifeAlignment #ListenWithin #GuidedLiving #FriendshipPodcast</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2240501/c1e-q63gbdmnm2i0v2v9-kpn1z2xviqx1-rmzwjr.mp3" length="28661637"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week’s episode, Fawn and Matt follow an unexpected thread of synchronicity. that unravels into something deeper—a reminder that life is held together by invisible connections. What starts as an inconvenient blunder, becomes a cascade of seemingly unrelated moments that line up too perfectly to be coincidence.
Fawn and Matt explore how trust shows up in everyday life: the trust to follow a nudge, the trust to not react, and the trust to believe that the world is quietly working in our favor.
They share a story that reveals how interconnected we truly are—how we are each part of a web so vast and intricate that every so often, life gives us a glimpse of the pattern. These moments of alignment remind us that we’re guided, supported, and never as alone as we sometimes feel.
Let's slow down, listen to the whispers of intuition, and recognize the invisible hands and hearts that make life’s path gently fall into place.


synchronicity stories


trusting your intuition


interconnectedness


invisible connections in life


signs from the universe


following intuition


how everything is connected


everyday spirituality


friendship and trust


podcast about intuition


mystical life experiences


listening to your inner voice


meaningful coincidences


spiritual alignment


universal connection


trust in relationships


guided experiences


recognizing signs in daily life


#SynchronicityStories #InterconnectedLives #InvisibleWebOfLife #TrustingTheSigns #EverydayMysticism #UniversalConnection #IntuitionLed #MeaningfulCoincidences#TrustTheProcess #Synchronicity #Intuition #SpiritualJourney #Connectedness #LifeAlignment #ListenWithin #GuidedLiving #FriendshipPodcast
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2240501/c1a-8j1v-34mq0k20swn9-mkthss.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:51</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Hidden Art of Starting Over in Friendships: Trust, Change & Grounding Through Life’s Transitions”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Nov 2025 08:10:16 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2221816</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-hidden-art-of-starting-over-trust-change-grounding-through-lifes-transitions</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt explore the universal, often invisible truth: <strong>we are all starting over—constantly.</strong> Whether it’s a shift in seasons, work, health, relationships, identity, or simply the quiet transitions inside our emotional world, change is always happening in micro and macro forms.</p>
<p>Fawn opens up about the exhaustion, fear, and uneasiness that come with uncertainty, sharing the story of how losing her spark—and gradually reclaiming it—taught her the quiet magic of beginning again. Matt brings in grounding wisdom through intention, posture, and awareness, showing how even the way we walk reflects our energy in the world.</p>
<p>Together, they discuss:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why seasonal and life transitions feel so destabilizing</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How the body is <em>always</em> in flux (and what that teaches us about resilience)</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The importance of grounding during major life changes</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How friendships evolve—and what happens when we assume people stay the same</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Navigating uncomfortable emotions, road-rage encounters, and spiritual overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The secret power of trust when everything feels uncertain</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Through stories, humor, and honesty, this episode becomes a guide for anyone who feels like they’re floating between steps—between who they were and who they’re becoming.<br />A reminder that starting over isn’t a failure; it’s a natural rhythm of life.<br />And that in the midst of uncertainty, <strong>trust</strong> might be the most transformative friend we have.</p>
<p>This episode explores the emotional and spiritual landscape of starting over—again and again. Fawn and Matt talk about transitions, exhaustion, grounding, friendship, fear, and the hidden magic of trusting the process. A comforting, uplifting conversation for anyone navigating change or feeling unsteady on their path.</p>
<p>starting over podcast<br />life transitions<br />emotional healing<br />grounding techniques<br />friendship and change<br />how to trust the process<br />anxiety during life changes<br />personal growth stories<br />reinvention and resilience<br />seasonal depression support<br />energy grounding<br />how to start again in life<br />coping with uncertainty</p>
<p>#StartingOver<br />#LifeTransitions<br />#TrustTheProcess<br />#EmotionalHealing<br />#Grounding<br />#Reinvention<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#ChangeIsHard<br />#InnerStrength<br />#SpiritualGrowth<br />#AnxietySupport<br />#NewBeginnings<br />#FluxAndFlow<br />#PersonalGrowthJourney<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt explore the universal, often invisible truth: we are all starting over—constantly. Whether it’s a shift in seasons, work, health, relationships, identity, or simply the quiet transitions inside our emotional world, change is always happening in micro and macro forms.
Fawn opens up about the exhaustion, fear, and uneasiness that come with uncertainty, sharing the story of how losing her spark—and gradually reclaiming it—taught her the quiet magic of beginning again. Matt brings in grounding wisdom through intention, posture, and awareness, showing how even the way we walk reflects our energy in the world.
Together, they discuss:


Why seasonal and life transitions feel so destabilizing


How the body is always in flux (and what that teaches us about resilience)


The importance of grounding during major life changes


How friendships evolve—and what happens when we assume people stay the same


Navigating uncomfortable emotions, road-rage encounters, and spiritual overwhelm


The secret power of trust when everything feels uncertain


Through stories, humor, and honesty, this episode becomes a guide for anyone who feels like they’re floating between steps—between who they were and who they’re becoming.A reminder that starting over isn’t a failure; it’s a natural rhythm of life.And that in the midst of uncertainty, trust might be the most transformative friend we have.
This episode explores the emotional and spiritual landscape of starting over—again and again. Fawn and Matt talk about transitions, exhaustion, grounding, friendship, fear, and the hidden magic of trusting the process. A comforting, uplifting conversation for anyone navigating change or feeling unsteady on their path.
starting over podcastlife transitionsemotional healinggrounding techniquesfriendship and changehow to trust the processanxiety during life changespersonal growth storiesreinvention and resilienceseasonal depression supportenergy groundinghow to start again in lifecoping with uncertainty
#StartingOver#LifeTransitions#TrustTheProcess#EmotionalHealing#Grounding#Reinvention#FriendshipMatters#ChangeIsHard#InnerStrength#SpiritualGrowth#AnxietySupport#NewBeginnings#FluxAndFlow#PersonalGrowthJourney#OurFriendlyWorld
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Hidden Art of Starting Over in Friendships: Trust, Change & Grounding Through Life’s Transitions”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt explore the universal, often invisible truth: <strong>we are all starting over—constantly.</strong> Whether it’s a shift in seasons, work, health, relationships, identity, or simply the quiet transitions inside our emotional world, change is always happening in micro and macro forms.</p>
<p>Fawn opens up about the exhaustion, fear, and uneasiness that come with uncertainty, sharing the story of how losing her spark—and gradually reclaiming it—taught her the quiet magic of beginning again. Matt brings in grounding wisdom through intention, posture, and awareness, showing how even the way we walk reflects our energy in the world.</p>
<p>Together, they discuss:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why seasonal and life transitions feel so destabilizing</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How the body is <em>always</em> in flux (and what that teaches us about resilience)</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The importance of grounding during major life changes</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How friendships evolve—and what happens when we assume people stay the same</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Navigating uncomfortable emotions, road-rage encounters, and spiritual overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The secret power of trust when everything feels uncertain</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Through stories, humor, and honesty, this episode becomes a guide for anyone who feels like they’re floating between steps—between who they were and who they’re becoming.<br />A reminder that starting over isn’t a failure; it’s a natural rhythm of life.<br />And that in the midst of uncertainty, <strong>trust</strong> might be the most transformative friend we have.</p>
<p>This episode explores the emotional and spiritual landscape of starting over—again and again. Fawn and Matt talk about transitions, exhaustion, grounding, friendship, fear, and the hidden magic of trusting the process. A comforting, uplifting conversation for anyone navigating change or feeling unsteady on their path.</p>
<p>starting over podcast<br />life transitions<br />emotional healing<br />grounding techniques<br />friendship and change<br />how to trust the process<br />anxiety during life changes<br />personal growth stories<br />reinvention and resilience<br />seasonal depression support<br />energy grounding<br />how to start again in life<br />coping with uncertainty</p>
<p>#StartingOver<br />#LifeTransitions<br />#TrustTheProcess<br />#EmotionalHealing<br />#Grounding<br />#Reinvention<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#ChangeIsHard<br />#InnerStrength<br />#SpiritualGrowth<br />#AnxietySupport<br />#NewBeginnings<br />#FluxAndFlow<br />#PersonalGrowthJourney<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2221816/c1e-q63gbdw37wi0v2d9-v6pj8630sd5r-ilmjtg.mp3" length="23652002"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt explore the universal, often invisible truth: we are all starting over—constantly. Whether it’s a shift in seasons, work, health, relationships, identity, or simply the quiet transitions inside our emotional world, change is always happening in micro and macro forms.
Fawn opens up about the exhaustion, fear, and uneasiness that come with uncertainty, sharing the story of how losing her spark—and gradually reclaiming it—taught her the quiet magic of beginning again. Matt brings in grounding wisdom through intention, posture, and awareness, showing how even the way we walk reflects our energy in the world.
Together, they discuss:


Why seasonal and life transitions feel so destabilizing


How the body is always in flux (and what that teaches us about resilience)


The importance of grounding during major life changes


How friendships evolve—and what happens when we assume people stay the same


Navigating uncomfortable emotions, road-rage encounters, and spiritual overwhelm


The secret power of trust when everything feels uncertain


Through stories, humor, and honesty, this episode becomes a guide for anyone who feels like they’re floating between steps—between who they were and who they’re becoming.A reminder that starting over isn’t a failure; it’s a natural rhythm of life.And that in the midst of uncertainty, trust might be the most transformative friend we have.
This episode explores the emotional and spiritual landscape of starting over—again and again. Fawn and Matt talk about transitions, exhaustion, grounding, friendship, fear, and the hidden magic of trusting the process. A comforting, uplifting conversation for anyone navigating change or feeling unsteady on their path.
starting over podcastlife transitionsemotional healinggrounding techniquesfriendship and changehow to trust the processanxiety during life changespersonal growth storiesreinvention and resilienceseasonal depression supportenergy groundinghow to start again in lifecoping with uncertainty
#StartingOver#LifeTransitions#TrustTheProcess#EmotionalHealing#Grounding#Reinvention#FriendshipMatters#ChangeIsHard#InnerStrength#SpiritualGrowth#AnxietySupport#NewBeginnings#FluxAndFlow#PersonalGrowthJourney#OurFriendlyWorld
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2221816/c1a-8j1v-47mr87qrf25-sw7era.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:24:38</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Invisible Beauty: Quiet Support and Unseen Effort in Friendship”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Nov 2025 05:03:29 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2201405</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-invisible-beauty-quiet-support-and-unseen-effort-in-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode, we explore the quiet beauty of things that work so seamlessly we hardly notice them at all. Whether in technology, weddings, artistry, or the friendships that sustain our lives, the best support often goes unseen.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt reflect on how a "good user interface" can be a metaphor for the relationships that nourish us—where no one dominates, and no one needs to perform.</p>
<p>They share personal stories from their wedding, voice acting, photography, martial arts, and everyday life to highlight how subtlety, presence, and shared seeing shape true connection. This episode invites you to honor the people who show up quietly, the ones who don’t ask for attention, and the times when we learn to ask for support so we can see more clearly together.</p>
<p>This is an episode about appreciation, humility, partnership, and the magic of simply being present.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>friendship dynamics, invisible support, emotional growth, authentic relationships, voice acting insight, art of being present, quiet strength, subtle kindness, companionship, true connection, mental clarity in community, appreciating others, finding your people, personal growth in relationships</p>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld #FriendshipPodcast #InvisibleSupport #QuietStrength #SubtleKindness #HealthyRelationships #BeThereForEachOther #EmotionalGrowth #FindingYourPeople #ConnectionMatters #PresenceOverPerformance #GentlePower #HumanConnection #TheArtOfFriendship</p>
<p></p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, we explore the quiet beauty of things that work so seamlessly we hardly notice them at all. Whether in technology, weddings, artistry, or the friendships that sustain our lives, the best support often goes unseen.
Fawn and Matt reflect on how a "good user interface" can be a metaphor for the relationships that nourish us—where no one dominates, and no one needs to perform.
They share personal stories from their wedding, voice acting, photography, martial arts, and everyday life to highlight how subtlety, presence, and shared seeing shape true connection. This episode invites you to honor the people who show up quietly, the ones who don’t ask for attention, and the times when we learn to ask for support so we can see more clearly together.
This is an episode about appreciation, humility, partnership, and the magic of simply being present.

friendship dynamics, invisible support, emotional growth, authentic relationships, voice acting insight, art of being present, quiet strength, subtle kindness, companionship, true connection, mental clarity in community, appreciating others, finding your people, personal growth in relationships
#OurFriendlyWorld #FriendshipPodcast #InvisibleSupport #QuietStrength #SubtleKindness #HealthyRelationships #BeThereForEachOther #EmotionalGrowth #FindingYourPeople #ConnectionMatters #PresenceOverPerformance #GentlePower #HumanConnection #TheArtOfFriendship

Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Invisible Beauty: Quiet Support and Unseen Effort in Friendship”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode, we explore the quiet beauty of things that work so seamlessly we hardly notice them at all. Whether in technology, weddings, artistry, or the friendships that sustain our lives, the best support often goes unseen.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt reflect on how a "good user interface" can be a metaphor for the relationships that nourish us—where no one dominates, and no one needs to perform.</p>
<p>They share personal stories from their wedding, voice acting, photography, martial arts, and everyday life to highlight how subtlety, presence, and shared seeing shape true connection. This episode invites you to honor the people who show up quietly, the ones who don’t ask for attention, and the times when we learn to ask for support so we can see more clearly together.</p>
<p>This is an episode about appreciation, humility, partnership, and the magic of simply being present.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>friendship dynamics, invisible support, emotional growth, authentic relationships, voice acting insight, art of being present, quiet strength, subtle kindness, companionship, true connection, mental clarity in community, appreciating others, finding your people, personal growth in relationships</p>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld #FriendshipPodcast #InvisibleSupport #QuietStrength #SubtleKindness #HealthyRelationships #BeThereForEachOther #EmotionalGrowth #FindingYourPeople #ConnectionMatters #PresenceOverPerformance #GentlePower #HumanConnection #TheArtOfFriendship</p>
<p></p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2201405/c1e-x91rs9omnmhn7wgw-v6p6zx7ksdq9-rydomd.mp3" length="14331503"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, we explore the quiet beauty of things that work so seamlessly we hardly notice them at all. Whether in technology, weddings, artistry, or the friendships that sustain our lives, the best support often goes unseen.
Fawn and Matt reflect on how a "good user interface" can be a metaphor for the relationships that nourish us—where no one dominates, and no one needs to perform.
They share personal stories from their wedding, voice acting, photography, martial arts, and everyday life to highlight how subtlety, presence, and shared seeing shape true connection. This episode invites you to honor the people who show up quietly, the ones who don’t ask for attention, and the times when we learn to ask for support so we can see more clearly together.
This is an episode about appreciation, humility, partnership, and the magic of simply being present.

friendship dynamics, invisible support, emotional growth, authentic relationships, voice acting insight, art of being present, quiet strength, subtle kindness, companionship, true connection, mental clarity in community, appreciating others, finding your people, personal growth in relationships
#OurFriendlyWorld #FriendshipPodcast #InvisibleSupport #QuietStrength #SubtleKindness #HealthyRelationships #BeThereForEachOther #EmotionalGrowth #FindingYourPeople #ConnectionMatters #PresenceOverPerformance #GentlePower #HumanConnection #TheArtOfFriendship

Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2201405/c1a-8j1v-34m4g688ikn5-r7i6sy.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:14:55</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Be Interesting, Be Interested: The Art of Real Connection Within Friendships”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 03 Nov 2025 04:02:15 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2182968</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/be-interesting-be-interested-the-art-of-real-connection</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, the conversation revisits one of their favorite topics — <strong>“Be interested, not interesting”</strong> — and takes it a step further. What happens when curiosity crosses the line into gossip? How do we find that sweet spot between being genuinely curious about others and also sharing enough of ourselves to form real, balanced relationships?</p>
<p>Through laughter and reflection, Fawn and Matt explore the world of nosy neighbors, awkward soundchecks, and the universal discomfort of hearing our own voices (and seeing our own images). Together, they uncover how relationships begin to thrive when both sides bring something meaningful to the table — when we’re <strong>interested enough to listen deeply</strong>, and <strong>interesting enough to keep growing</strong>.</p>
<p>A reminder: true connection isn’t one-sided — it’s a living, breathing exchange of curiosity, honesty, and shared humanity.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<h3><strong>Key Themes &amp; Takeaways</strong></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The difference between <em>being curious</em> and <em>being nosy</em></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why being interesting matters just as much as being interested</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How relationships lose spark when one side stops growing</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The value of showing up authentically — even when it’s uncomfortable</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to have meaningful conversations that nourish connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3> </h3>
<p>friendship podcast, real connection, being interesting, be interested, not interesting, authentic communication, gossip vs curiosity, how to deepen relationships, meaningful conversation, Fawn and Matt podcast, Our Friendly World</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>#BeInterestingBeInterested<br />#AuthenticConversations<br />#CuriosityAndConnection<br />#RealRelationships<br />#BeyondSmallTalk<br />#ListenAndBeHeard<br />#GenuineConnection</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, the conversation revisits one of their favorite topics — “Be interested, not interesting” — and takes it a step further. What happens when curiosity crosses the line into gossip? How do we find that sweet spot between being genuinely curious about others and also sharing enough of ourselves to form real, balanced relationships?
Through laughter and reflection, Fawn and Matt explore the world of nosy neighbors, awkward soundchecks, and the universal discomfort of hearing our own voices (and seeing our own images). Together, they uncover how relationships begin to thrive when both sides bring something meaningful to the table — when we’re interested enough to listen deeply, and interesting enough to keep growing.
A reminder: true connection isn’t one-sided — it’s a living, breathing exchange of curiosity, honesty, and shared humanity.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Key Themes & Takeaways


The difference between being curious and being nosy


Why being interesting matters just as much as being interested


How relationships lose spark when one side stops growing


The value of showing up authentically — even when it’s uncomfortable


How to have meaningful conversations that nourish connection


 
friendship podcast, real connection, being interesting, be interested, not interesting, authentic communication, gossip vs curiosity, how to deepen relationships, meaningful conversation, Fawn and Matt podcast, Our Friendly World

#BeInterestingBeInterested#AuthenticConversations#CuriosityAndConnection#RealRelationships#BeyondSmallTalk#ListenAndBeHeard#GenuineConnection]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Be Interesting, Be Interested: The Art of Real Connection Within Friendships”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, the conversation revisits one of their favorite topics — <strong>“Be interested, not interesting”</strong> — and takes it a step further. What happens when curiosity crosses the line into gossip? How do we find that sweet spot between being genuinely curious about others and also sharing enough of ourselves to form real, balanced relationships?</p>
<p>Through laughter and reflection, Fawn and Matt explore the world of nosy neighbors, awkward soundchecks, and the universal discomfort of hearing our own voices (and seeing our own images). Together, they uncover how relationships begin to thrive when both sides bring something meaningful to the table — when we’re <strong>interested enough to listen deeply</strong>, and <strong>interesting enough to keep growing</strong>.</p>
<p>A reminder: true connection isn’t one-sided — it’s a living, breathing exchange of curiosity, honesty, and shared humanity.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<h3><strong>Key Themes &amp; Takeaways</strong></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The difference between <em>being curious</em> and <em>being nosy</em></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why being interesting matters just as much as being interested</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How relationships lose spark when one side stops growing</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The value of showing up authentically — even when it’s uncomfortable</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to have meaningful conversations that nourish connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3> </h3>
<p>friendship podcast, real connection, being interesting, be interested, not interesting, authentic communication, gossip vs curiosity, how to deepen relationships, meaningful conversation, Fawn and Matt podcast, Our Friendly World</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>#BeInterestingBeInterested<br />#AuthenticConversations<br />#CuriosityAndConnection<br />#RealRelationships<br />#BeyondSmallTalk<br />#ListenAndBeHeard<br />#GenuineConnection</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2182968/c1e-z08ns71rrwcokrpp-z3p1pr8gcm4z-tanjuo.mp3" length="19796749"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, the conversation revisits one of their favorite topics — “Be interested, not interesting” — and takes it a step further. What happens when curiosity crosses the line into gossip? How do we find that sweet spot between being genuinely curious about others and also sharing enough of ourselves to form real, balanced relationships?
Through laughter and reflection, Fawn and Matt explore the world of nosy neighbors, awkward soundchecks, and the universal discomfort of hearing our own voices (and seeing our own images). Together, they uncover how relationships begin to thrive when both sides bring something meaningful to the table — when we’re interested enough to listen deeply, and interesting enough to keep growing.
A reminder: true connection isn’t one-sided — it’s a living, breathing exchange of curiosity, honesty, and shared humanity.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Key Themes & Takeaways


The difference between being curious and being nosy


Why being interesting matters just as much as being interested


How relationships lose spark when one side stops growing


The value of showing up authentically — even when it’s uncomfortable


How to have meaningful conversations that nourish connection


 
friendship podcast, real connection, being interesting, be interested, not interesting, authentic communication, gossip vs curiosity, how to deepen relationships, meaningful conversation, Fawn and Matt podcast, Our Friendly World

#BeInterestingBeInterested#AuthenticConversations#CuriosityAndConnection#RealRelationships#BeyondSmallTalk#ListenAndBeHeard#GenuineConnection]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2182968/c1a-8j1v-z3p1pr8gcvzr-i0jxfr.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:20:37</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Collective Mind & Community: Navigating Fear, Connection, and Public Spaces within Friendships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Oct 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2172459</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/collective-mind-community-navigating-fear-connection-and-public-spaces</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What influences the way we think — as a society, as neighbors, as humans?</p>
<p>This week, Fawn and Matt go deep into <strong>collective consciousness</strong> and the emotional shifts happening in our communities today. From joyful moments like hearing a musician transform a parking lot into an oasis of connection… to fear-driven responses like calling police on harmless creativity… this conversation explores the widening divide between people sharing the same space.</p>
<p>Topics include:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>How community dynamics influence what we fear (and who)</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why our nervous systems respond instantly to headlines and algorithms</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Public spaces, safety, and why creative expression is under threat</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to create connection when local trust erodes</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Global friendships as a lifeline and perspective check</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Practical ways to <strong>reclaim agency</strong> and <strong>restore belonging</strong></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode reminds us that even when systems feel overwhelming, <strong>connection is still possible</strong> — and necessary.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>00:00 — Welcome + “spice for my footy” family joke<br />01:45 — How do we hold space for others when community feels fractured?<br />03:20 — Not trusting neighbors and social anxiety in public environments<br />04:00 — A moment of unexpected beauty: street musician + bossa nova magic<br />06:00 — Police intervention: fear replaces connection<br />08:00 — What can (or can’t) we do when we witness injustice?<br />10:30 — Civil disobedience, responsibility, and risk today<br />12:20 — How news algorithms weaponize stress and perception<br />16:00 — When technology shapes our chemistry and worldview<br />17:30 — The breakdown of neighborhood trust + HOA culture<br />18:50 — Expanding your community globally<br />19:55 — Taking care of mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing<br />21:00 — Closing reminders: Be deliberate. Stay connected.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What influences the way we think — as a society, as neighbors, as humans?
This week, Fawn and Matt go deep into collective consciousness and the emotional shifts happening in our communities today. From joyful moments like hearing a musician transform a parking lot into an oasis of connection… to fear-driven responses like calling police on harmless creativity… this conversation explores the widening divide between people sharing the same space.
Topics include:


How community dynamics influence what we fear (and who)


Why our nervous systems respond instantly to headlines and algorithms


Public spaces, safety, and why creative expression is under threat


How to create connection when local trust erodes


Global friendships as a lifeline and perspective check


Practical ways to reclaim agency and restore belonging


This episode reminds us that even when systems feel overwhelming, connection is still possible — and necessary.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.

00:00 — Welcome + “spice for my footy” family joke01:45 — How do we hold space for others when community feels fractured?03:20 — Not trusting neighbors and social anxiety in public environments04:00 — A moment of unexpected beauty: street musician + bossa nova magic06:00 — Police intervention: fear replaces connection08:00 — What can (or can’t) we do when we witness injustice?10:30 — Civil disobedience, responsibility, and risk today12:20 — How news algorithms weaponize stress and perception16:00 — When technology shapes our chemistry and worldview17:30 — The breakdown of neighborhood trust + HOA culture18:50 — Expanding your community globally19:55 — Taking care of mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing21:00 — Closing reminders: Be deliberate. Stay connected.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Collective Mind & Community: Navigating Fear, Connection, and Public Spaces within Friendships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What influences the way we think — as a society, as neighbors, as humans?</p>
<p>This week, Fawn and Matt go deep into <strong>collective consciousness</strong> and the emotional shifts happening in our communities today. From joyful moments like hearing a musician transform a parking lot into an oasis of connection… to fear-driven responses like calling police on harmless creativity… this conversation explores the widening divide between people sharing the same space.</p>
<p>Topics include:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>How community dynamics influence what we fear (and who)</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why our nervous systems respond instantly to headlines and algorithms</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Public spaces, safety, and why creative expression is under threat</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to create connection when local trust erodes</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Global friendships as a lifeline and perspective check</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Practical ways to <strong>reclaim agency</strong> and <strong>restore belonging</strong></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode reminds us that even when systems feel overwhelming, <strong>connection is still possible</strong> — and necessary.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>00:00 — Welcome + “spice for my footy” family joke<br />01:45 — How do we hold space for others when community feels fractured?<br />03:20 — Not trusting neighbors and social anxiety in public environments<br />04:00 — A moment of unexpected beauty: street musician + bossa nova magic<br />06:00 — Police intervention: fear replaces connection<br />08:00 — What can (or can’t) we do when we witness injustice?<br />10:30 — Civil disobedience, responsibility, and risk today<br />12:20 — How news algorithms weaponize stress and perception<br />16:00 — When technology shapes our chemistry and worldview<br />17:30 — The breakdown of neighborhood trust + HOA culture<br />18:50 — Expanding your community globally<br />19:55 — Taking care of mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing<br />21:00 — Closing reminders: Be deliberate. Stay connected.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2172459/c1e-r691bw7mvmi2kwok-kpnnp1n5t4m-y8jych.mp3" length="19910851"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What influences the way we think — as a society, as neighbors, as humans?
This week, Fawn and Matt go deep into collective consciousness and the emotional shifts happening in our communities today. From joyful moments like hearing a musician transform a parking lot into an oasis of connection… to fear-driven responses like calling police on harmless creativity… this conversation explores the widening divide between people sharing the same space.
Topics include:


How community dynamics influence what we fear (and who)


Why our nervous systems respond instantly to headlines and algorithms


Public spaces, safety, and why creative expression is under threat


How to create connection when local trust erodes


Global friendships as a lifeline and perspective check


Practical ways to reclaim agency and restore belonging


This episode reminds us that even when systems feel overwhelming, connection is still possible — and necessary.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.

00:00 — Welcome + “spice for my footy” family joke01:45 — How do we hold space for others when community feels fractured?03:20 — Not trusting neighbors and social anxiety in public environments04:00 — A moment of unexpected beauty: street musician + bossa nova magic06:00 — Police intervention: fear replaces connection08:00 — What can (or can’t) we do when we witness injustice?10:30 — Civil disobedience, responsibility, and risk today12:20 — How news algorithms weaponize stress and perception16:00 — When technology shapes our chemistry and worldview17:30 — The breakdown of neighborhood trust + HOA culture18:50 — Expanding your community globally19:55 — Taking care of mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing21:00 — Closing reminders: Be deliberate. Stay connected.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2172459/c1a-8j1v-qdvvd2vdc8p5-pqybay.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:20:44</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Protective Identity Culture: How Fear, Fashion, and Friendship Reflect a Society on Guard”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Oct 2025 05:35:10 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2168345</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/protective-identity-culture-how-fear-fashion-and-friendship-reflect-a-society-on-guard</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP)</em>, we explore how our modern culture of protection is shaping the way we live, dress, and connect. From armored fashion trends and massive SUVs to emotional walls and social tribes, Fawn and Matt unpack what it means to live in a world where everyone seems to be bracing for battle.</p>
<p>Why do we crave belonging yet fear vulnerability? How does our need for safety influence not just our choices—but our friendships, our art, and our sense of identity? Together, Fawn and Matt invite us to look deeper at how “protective identity” shows up in our everyday lives and what it takes to stay open-hearted in an age of self-defense.</p>
<p>A conversation filled with honesty, cultural insight, and gentle humor—reminding us that awareness, curiosity, and kindness are the strongest forms of protection we have.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p>protective identity, emotional armor, modern friendship, fear culture, social connection, belonging and identity, vulnerability, emotional resilience, cultural commentary podcast, friendship podcast, Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt, societal trends, protective fashion, fear and community, friendship and trust</p>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FriendshipPodcast #ProtectiveIdentity #ModernCulture #FearAndBelonging #EmotionalArmor #Vulnerability #HumanConnection #SocietyAndCulture #Authenticity #KindnessMatters #EmotionalResilience #ConsciousLiving #CulturalTrends #ConnectionOverFear #FriendshipMatters</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP), we explore how our modern culture of protection is shaping the way we live, dress, and connect. From armored fashion trends and massive SUVs to emotional walls and social tribes, Fawn and Matt unpack what it means to live in a world where everyone seems to be bracing for battle.
Why do we crave belonging yet fear vulnerability? How does our need for safety influence not just our choices—but our friendships, our art, and our sense of identity? Together, Fawn and Matt invite us to look deeper at how “protective identity” shows up in our everyday lives and what it takes to stay open-hearted in an age of self-defense.
A conversation filled with honesty, cultural insight, and gentle humor—reminding us that awareness, curiosity, and kindness are the strongest forms of protection we have.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
protective identity, emotional armor, modern friendship, fear culture, social connection, belonging and identity, vulnerability, emotional resilience, cultural commentary podcast, friendship podcast, Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt, societal trends, protective fashion, fear and community, friendship and trust
#OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FriendshipPodcast #ProtectiveIdentity #ModernCulture #FearAndBelonging #EmotionalArmor #Vulnerability #HumanConnection #SocietyAndCulture #Authenticity #KindnessMatters #EmotionalResilience #ConsciousLiving #CulturalTrends #ConnectionOverFear #FriendshipMatters]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Protective Identity Culture: How Fear, Fashion, and Friendship Reflect a Society on Guard”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP)</em>, we explore how our modern culture of protection is shaping the way we live, dress, and connect. From armored fashion trends and massive SUVs to emotional walls and social tribes, Fawn and Matt unpack what it means to live in a world where everyone seems to be bracing for battle.</p>
<p>Why do we crave belonging yet fear vulnerability? How does our need for safety influence not just our choices—but our friendships, our art, and our sense of identity? Together, Fawn and Matt invite us to look deeper at how “protective identity” shows up in our everyday lives and what it takes to stay open-hearted in an age of self-defense.</p>
<p>A conversation filled with honesty, cultural insight, and gentle humor—reminding us that awareness, curiosity, and kindness are the strongest forms of protection we have.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p>protective identity, emotional armor, modern friendship, fear culture, social connection, belonging and identity, vulnerability, emotional resilience, cultural commentary podcast, friendship podcast, Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt, societal trends, protective fashion, fear and community, friendship and trust</p>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FriendshipPodcast #ProtectiveIdentity #ModernCulture #FearAndBelonging #EmotionalArmor #Vulnerability #HumanConnection #SocietyAndCulture #Authenticity #KindnessMatters #EmotionalResilience #ConsciousLiving #CulturalTrends #ConnectionOverFear #FriendshipMatters</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2168345/c1e-0jo1akz9v5sgm379-7zx3o1xzsw6n-u7dsc5.mp3" length="22116838"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP), we explore how our modern culture of protection is shaping the way we live, dress, and connect. From armored fashion trends and massive SUVs to emotional walls and social tribes, Fawn and Matt unpack what it means to live in a world where everyone seems to be bracing for battle.
Why do we crave belonging yet fear vulnerability? How does our need for safety influence not just our choices—but our friendships, our art, and our sense of identity? Together, Fawn and Matt invite us to look deeper at how “protective identity” shows up in our everyday lives and what it takes to stay open-hearted in an age of self-defense.
A conversation filled with honesty, cultural insight, and gentle humor—reminding us that awareness, curiosity, and kindness are the strongest forms of protection we have.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
protective identity, emotional armor, modern friendship, fear culture, social connection, belonging and identity, vulnerability, emotional resilience, cultural commentary podcast, friendship podcast, Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt, societal trends, protective fashion, fear and community, friendship and trust
#OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FriendshipPodcast #ProtectiveIdentity #ModernCulture #FearAndBelonging #EmotionalArmor #Vulnerability #HumanConnection #SocietyAndCulture #Authenticity #KindnessMatters #EmotionalResilience #ConsciousLiving #CulturalTrends #ConnectionOverFear #FriendshipMatters]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2168345/c1a-8j1v-okjmq5j9t0m2-7j5r2p.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:02</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[What Limits Growth in Friendship: Letting Go of Labels to Nurture Authentic Connection]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Oct 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2163893</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/what-limits-growth-in-friendship-letting-go-of-labels-to-nurture-authentic-connection</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore how labeling someone’s “favorite” things—music, food, even colors—can quietly freeze them in time. Fawn shares how not knowing Matt’s favorite band sparked a deeper reflection on what it means to truly <em>see</em> someone as they are today, not who they once were. Together, they uncover how holding on to fixed ideas of people can stunt growth, create emotional distance, and even end friendships.</p>
<p></p>
<p>From changing tastes in music to shifting perspectives on life and love, this conversation dives into how embracing change keeps relationships alive, flexible, and sustainable. The episode reminds us that real friendship is about presence, curiosity, and allowing others to evolve—without holding them to the past.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p><strong>Key Themes:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The illusion of “favorites” and how they anchor people in the past</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How change sustains long-term friendship and love</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The beauty of curiosity and allowing others to evolve</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The difference between flexible perception and protective boundaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Letting go of labels to nurture authentic connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p>friendship growth, sustainable relationships, how to keep relationships healthy, emotional intelligence in friendship, evolving relationships, letting go of labels, flexibility in relationships, embracing change, understanding friends, mindful friendship</p>
<p><br />#OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FriendshipPodcast #SustainableRelationships #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #EmbraceChange #MindfulConnection #LetPeopleEvolve #AuthenticFriendship</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore how labeling someone’s “favorite” things—music, food, even colors—can quietly freeze them in time. Fawn shares how not knowing Matt’s favorite band sparked a deeper reflection on what it means to truly see someone as they are today, not who they once were. Together, they uncover how holding on to fixed ideas of people can stunt growth, create emotional distance, and even end friendships.

From changing tastes in music to shifting perspectives on life and love, this conversation dives into how embracing change keeps relationships alive, flexible, and sustainable. The episode reminds us that real friendship is about presence, curiosity, and allowing others to evolve—without holding them to the past.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Key Themes:


The illusion of “favorites” and how they anchor people in the past


How change sustains long-term friendship and love


The beauty of curiosity and allowing others to evolve


The difference between flexible perception and protective boundaries


Letting go of labels to nurture authentic connection


 
friendship growth, sustainable relationships, how to keep relationships healthy, emotional intelligence in friendship, evolving relationships, letting go of labels, flexibility in relationships, embracing change, understanding friends, mindful friendship
#OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FriendshipPodcast #SustainableRelationships #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #EmbraceChange #MindfulConnection #LetPeopleEvolve #AuthenticFriendship
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[What Limits Growth in Friendship: Letting Go of Labels to Nurture Authentic Connection]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore how labeling someone’s “favorite” things—music, food, even colors—can quietly freeze them in time. Fawn shares how not knowing Matt’s favorite band sparked a deeper reflection on what it means to truly <em>see</em> someone as they are today, not who they once were. Together, they uncover how holding on to fixed ideas of people can stunt growth, create emotional distance, and even end friendships.</p>
<p></p>
<p>From changing tastes in music to shifting perspectives on life and love, this conversation dives into how embracing change keeps relationships alive, flexible, and sustainable. The episode reminds us that real friendship is about presence, curiosity, and allowing others to evolve—without holding them to the past.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p><strong>Key Themes:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The illusion of “favorites” and how they anchor people in the past</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How change sustains long-term friendship and love</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The beauty of curiosity and allowing others to evolve</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The difference between flexible perception and protective boundaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Letting go of labels to nurture authentic connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p>friendship growth, sustainable relationships, how to keep relationships healthy, emotional intelligence in friendship, evolving relationships, letting go of labels, flexibility in relationships, embracing change, understanding friends, mindful friendship</p>
<p><br />#OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FriendshipPodcast #SustainableRelationships #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #EmbraceChange #MindfulConnection #LetPeopleEvolve #AuthenticFriendship</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2163893/c1e-x91rs966zmsn7p6g-dmx5g1w8fm8g-igffhq.mp3" length="22338825"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore how labeling someone’s “favorite” things—music, food, even colors—can quietly freeze them in time. Fawn shares how not knowing Matt’s favorite band sparked a deeper reflection on what it means to truly see someone as they are today, not who they once were. Together, they uncover how holding on to fixed ideas of people can stunt growth, create emotional distance, and even end friendships.

From changing tastes in music to shifting perspectives on life and love, this conversation dives into how embracing change keeps relationships alive, flexible, and sustainable. The episode reminds us that real friendship is about presence, curiosity, and allowing others to evolve—without holding them to the past.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
Key Themes:


The illusion of “favorites” and how they anchor people in the past


How change sustains long-term friendship and love


The beauty of curiosity and allowing others to evolve


The difference between flexible perception and protective boundaries


Letting go of labels to nurture authentic connection


 
friendship growth, sustainable relationships, how to keep relationships healthy, emotional intelligence in friendship, evolving relationships, letting go of labels, flexibility in relationships, embracing change, understanding friends, mindful friendship
#OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FriendshipPodcast #SustainableRelationships #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #EmbraceChange #MindfulConnection #LetPeopleEvolve #AuthenticFriendship
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2163893/c1a-8j1v-34mgpx1wbjdm-4i2kt8.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:16</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Why HALT Matters: Finding Calm in Friendship, Work, and Everyday Life”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Oct 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2158120</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/why-halt-matters-finding-calm-in-friendship-work-and-everyday-life</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore an old but powerful tool for emotional awareness: <strong>HALT — Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.</strong></p>
<p>From college memories to parenting challenges, we unpack how these four states often drive our reactions, decisions, and relationships. We talk about:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why recognizing <em>HALT</em> can stop conflicts before they spiral</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How hunger is more than food—it’s about true nourishment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why loneliness may be the most dangerous trigger of all</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>What parenting reveals about unmet needs in adults</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Simple ways to bring calm, connection, and awareness back into daily life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This is our playful and practical reminder to pay attention to our own state—and the state of those around us—transforming how we show up in friendship, family, and community.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>HALT acronym meaning</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>hungry angry lonely tired</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional triggers in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-awareness tools</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>parenting and emotions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>conflict resolution tips</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional intelligence in friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>coping with anger and loneliness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mental health awareness podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindfulness in everyday life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#HALTMethod #EmotionalAwareness #FriendshipPodcast #ParentingWisdom #SelfCareMatters #MindfulLiving #ConflictResolution #EmotionalIntelligence #LonelinessAwareness #HungryAngryLonelyTired</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><strong>Are you making decisions while Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? ? In our new episode of </strong><em><strong>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</strong></em><strong>, we explore the HALT method—an old tool with fresh wisdom for friendship, work, and everyday life.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Learn how these four triggers can shape your reactions (and relationships), and how a little awareness can bring back calm, connection, and compassion. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Listen now: [link in bio]</strong></p>
<p><strong>#HALTMethod #FriendshipPodcast #MindfulLiving #EmotionalAwareness #CalmInChaos</strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore an old but powerful tool for emotional awareness: HALT — Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
From college memories to parenting challenges, we unpack how these four states often drive our reactions, decisions, and relationships. We talk about:


Why recognizing HALT can stop conflicts before they spiral


How hunger is more than food—it’s about true nourishment


Why loneliness may be the most dangerous trigger of all


What parenting reveals about unmet needs in adults


Simple ways to bring calm, connection, and awareness back into daily life


This is our playful and practical reminder to pay attention to our own state—and the state of those around us—transforming how we show up in friendship, family, and community.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.


HALT acronym meaning


hungry angry lonely tired


emotional triggers in relationships


self-awareness tools


parenting and emotions


conflict resolution tips


emotional intelligence in friendship


coping with anger and loneliness


mental health awareness podcast


mindfulness in everyday life


#HALTMethod #EmotionalAwareness #FriendshipPodcast #ParentingWisdom #SelfCareMatters #MindfulLiving #ConflictResolution #EmotionalIntelligence #LonelinessAwareness #HungryAngryLonelyTired

Are you making decisions while Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? ? In our new episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the HALT method—an old tool with fresh wisdom for friendship, work, and everyday life.
Learn how these four triggers can shape your reactions (and relationships), and how a little awareness can bring back calm, connection, and compassion. 
Listen now: [link in bio]
#HALTMethod #FriendshipPodcast #MindfulLiving #EmotionalAwareness #CalmInChaos
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Why HALT Matters: Finding Calm in Friendship, Work, and Everyday Life”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore an old but powerful tool for emotional awareness: <strong>HALT — Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.</strong></p>
<p>From college memories to parenting challenges, we unpack how these four states often drive our reactions, decisions, and relationships. We talk about:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why recognizing <em>HALT</em> can stop conflicts before they spiral</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How hunger is more than food—it’s about true nourishment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why loneliness may be the most dangerous trigger of all</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>What parenting reveals about unmet needs in adults</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Simple ways to bring calm, connection, and awareness back into daily life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This is our playful and practical reminder to pay attention to our own state—and the state of those around us—transforming how we show up in friendship, family, and community.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>HALT acronym meaning</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>hungry angry lonely tired</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional triggers in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-awareness tools</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>parenting and emotions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>conflict resolution tips</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional intelligence in friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>coping with anger and loneliness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mental health awareness podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindfulness in everyday life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#HALTMethod #EmotionalAwareness #FriendshipPodcast #ParentingWisdom #SelfCareMatters #MindfulLiving #ConflictResolution #EmotionalIntelligence #LonelinessAwareness #HungryAngryLonelyTired</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><strong>Are you making decisions while Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? ? In our new episode of </strong><em><strong>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</strong></em><strong>, we explore the HALT method—an old tool with fresh wisdom for friendship, work, and everyday life.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Learn how these four triggers can shape your reactions (and relationships), and how a little awareness can bring back calm, connection, and compassion. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Listen now: [link in bio]</strong></p>
<p><strong>#HALTMethod #FriendshipPodcast #MindfulLiving #EmotionalAwareness #CalmInChaos</strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2158120/c1e-n670bdq4p6b9z4z8-rk3w7d3vhz42-667gml.mp3" length="19754091"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore an old but powerful tool for emotional awareness: HALT — Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
From college memories to parenting challenges, we unpack how these four states often drive our reactions, decisions, and relationships. We talk about:


Why recognizing HALT can stop conflicts before they spiral


How hunger is more than food—it’s about true nourishment


Why loneliness may be the most dangerous trigger of all


What parenting reveals about unmet needs in adults


Simple ways to bring calm, connection, and awareness back into daily life


This is our playful and practical reminder to pay attention to our own state—and the state of those around us—transforming how we show up in friendship, family, and community.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.


HALT acronym meaning


hungry angry lonely tired


emotional triggers in relationships


self-awareness tools


parenting and emotions


conflict resolution tips


emotional intelligence in friendship


coping with anger and loneliness


mental health awareness podcast


mindfulness in everyday life


#HALTMethod #EmotionalAwareness #FriendshipPodcast #ParentingWisdom #SelfCareMatters #MindfulLiving #ConflictResolution #EmotionalIntelligence #LonelinessAwareness #HungryAngryLonelyTired

Are you making decisions while Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? ? In our new episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the HALT method—an old tool with fresh wisdom for friendship, work, and everyday life.
Learn how these four triggers can shape your reactions (and relationships), and how a little awareness can bring back calm, connection, and compassion. 
Listen now: [link in bio]
#HALTMethod #FriendshipPodcast #MindfulLiving #EmotionalAwareness #CalmInChaos
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2158120/c1a-8j1v-8dq629qkcrzj-xpkizq.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:20:34</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship or Wound Sharing? How to Build Friendship Bonds That Heal, Not Hurt]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Sep 2025 01:59:06 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2152589</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendship-or-wound-sharing-how-to-build-bonds-that-heal-not-hurt</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><em>Friendship or Wound Sharing? How to Build Bonds That Heal, Not Hurt</em></p>
<p><br />In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the hidden trap of <em>shared wound friendships</em>—when relationships form around mutual pain instead of growth. We unpack why bonding over past struggles might feel like fate but often keeps us stuck in cycles of sorrow.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt share personal stories and practical tips on how to spot when a friendship is rooted in pain instead of resilience. From limiting <em>co-rumination</em> to seeking growth-oriented connections, this episode is a heartfelt reminder that true friendships help us evolve, not replay the same wounds.</p>
<p>You’ll learn:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why bonding over shared pain can feel comforting but ultimately limiting.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to balance empathy with moving forward.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Simple strategies to shift conversations from rehashing trauma to inspiring growth.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The importance of mixing your community with both understanding friends and resilient role models.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode is for anyone who has ever mistaken shared struggles for soul-level connection—and is ready to build healthier, more uplifting relationships.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p><br />friendship growth, shared trauma, trauma bonding vs. wound sharing, healthy relationships, co-rumination, resilience in friendship, how to build strong friendships, overcoming toxic cycles, evolving friendships, emotional healing</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipGoals #EmotionalHealing #Resilience #HealthyRelationships #FriendshipPodcast #OurFriendlyWorld #FriendshipMatters #TraumaRecovery #PersonalGrowth #WoundSharing</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship or Wound Sharing? How to Build Bonds That Heal, Not Hurt
In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the hidden trap of shared wound friendships—when relationships form around mutual pain instead of growth. We unpack why bonding over past struggles might feel like fate but often keeps us stuck in cycles of sorrow.
Fawn and Matt share personal stories and practical tips on how to spot when a friendship is rooted in pain instead of resilience. From limiting co-rumination to seeking growth-oriented connections, this episode is a heartfelt reminder that true friendships help us evolve, not replay the same wounds.
You’ll learn:


Why bonding over shared pain can feel comforting but ultimately limiting.


How to balance empathy with moving forward.


Simple strategies to shift conversations from rehashing trauma to inspiring growth.


The importance of mixing your community with both understanding friends and resilient role models.


This episode is for anyone who has ever mistaken shared struggles for soul-level connection—and is ready to build healthier, more uplifting relationships.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
friendship growth, shared trauma, trauma bonding vs. wound sharing, healthy relationships, co-rumination, resilience in friendship, how to build strong friendships, overcoming toxic cycles, evolving friendships, emotional healing
#FriendshipGoals #EmotionalHealing #Resilience #HealthyRelationships #FriendshipPodcast #OurFriendlyWorld #FriendshipMatters #TraumaRecovery #PersonalGrowth #WoundSharing]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship or Wound Sharing? How to Build Friendship Bonds That Heal, Not Hurt]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><em>Friendship or Wound Sharing? How to Build Bonds That Heal, Not Hurt</em></p>
<p><br />In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the hidden trap of <em>shared wound friendships</em>—when relationships form around mutual pain instead of growth. We unpack why bonding over past struggles might feel like fate but often keeps us stuck in cycles of sorrow.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt share personal stories and practical tips on how to spot when a friendship is rooted in pain instead of resilience. From limiting <em>co-rumination</em> to seeking growth-oriented connections, this episode is a heartfelt reminder that true friendships help us evolve, not replay the same wounds.</p>
<p>You’ll learn:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Why bonding over shared pain can feel comforting but ultimately limiting.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to balance empathy with moving forward.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Simple strategies to shift conversations from rehashing trauma to inspiring growth.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The importance of mixing your community with both understanding friends and resilient role models.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>This episode is for anyone who has ever mistaken shared struggles for soul-level connection—and is ready to build healthier, more uplifting relationships.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p><br />friendship growth, shared trauma, trauma bonding vs. wound sharing, healthy relationships, co-rumination, resilience in friendship, how to build strong friendships, overcoming toxic cycles, evolving friendships, emotional healing</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipGoals #EmotionalHealing #Resilience #HealthyRelationships #FriendshipPodcast #OurFriendlyWorld #FriendshipMatters #TraumaRecovery #PersonalGrowth #WoundSharing</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2152589/c1e-g6g1bmp5w3t24941-xx4pw093fpxo-wlm8mr.mp3" length="23539132"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship or Wound Sharing? How to Build Bonds That Heal, Not Hurt
In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the hidden trap of shared wound friendships—when relationships form around mutual pain instead of growth. We unpack why bonding over past struggles might feel like fate but often keeps us stuck in cycles of sorrow.
Fawn and Matt share personal stories and practical tips on how to spot when a friendship is rooted in pain instead of resilience. From limiting co-rumination to seeking growth-oriented connections, this episode is a heartfelt reminder that true friendships help us evolve, not replay the same wounds.
You’ll learn:


Why bonding over shared pain can feel comforting but ultimately limiting.


How to balance empathy with moving forward.


Simple strategies to shift conversations from rehashing trauma to inspiring growth.


The importance of mixing your community with both understanding friends and resilient role models.


This episode is for anyone who has ever mistaken shared struggles for soul-level connection—and is ready to build healthier, more uplifting relationships.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
friendship growth, shared trauma, trauma bonding vs. wound sharing, healthy relationships, co-rumination, resilience in friendship, how to build strong friendships, overcoming toxic cycles, evolving friendships, emotional healing
#FriendshipGoals #EmotionalHealing #Resilience #HealthyRelationships #FriendshipPodcast #OurFriendlyWorld #FriendshipMatters #TraumaRecovery #PersonalGrowth #WoundSharing]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2152589/c1a-8j1v-ww8v6r3dbd0k-2ezxnj.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:24:31</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Small Wins, Big Momentum: How Tiny Victories Change Your Day and Your Outlook on Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Sep 2025 04:30:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2146435</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/small-wins-big-momentum-how-tiny-victories-change-your-day</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this warm, honest conversation, Fawn and Matt unpack what it means to <em>need a win</em> — from Fawn’s big-win longing born of hard times to Matt’s practice of celebrating tiny, controllable victories. They trade real examples (found $2 bills, lottery ticket luck, parenting moments, training in martial arts) and give practical ways to shift perspective: change the scenery, build momentum with small consistent actions, and separate what you can control from what you can’t. Tune in for a gentle mix of humor, humility, and actionable mindset tools to help you feel lighter and win more often — even on the rough days.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p>In this episode, Fawn &amp; Matt explore how tiny, sometimes mysterious wins — from finding a $2 bill to changing your scenery — build momentum and brighten hard days. Tune into <em>Our Friendly World</em> for practical tools and real stories that actually help.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Fawn &amp; Matt explore how tiny wins build momentum, practical stoic tools to reclaim control, and simple shifts to feel better when life gets heavy.</p>
<h1><br /><br /></h1>
<ol>
<li>
<p>small wins</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>momentum mindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>needing a win</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>resilience strategies</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>practical stoicism</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>change of scenery for mood</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>build daily momentum</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>gratitude and perspective</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>parenting and emotional regulation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>finding joy in small things</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ul>
<li>
<p>how to get small wins every day</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>using momentum to find a job</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stoic perspective on control and outcomes</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>shifting perspective when you’re in a low mood</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#SmallWins #Momentum #Resilience #MindsetMatters #NeedAWin #PracticalStoic #GratitudePractice #FriendshipPodcast #MentalWellbeing #ParentingMoments #OurFriendlyWorld #TinyVictories</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this warm, honest conversation, Fawn and Matt unpack what it means to need a win — from Fawn’s big-win longing born of hard times to Matt’s practice of celebrating tiny, controllable victories. They trade real examples (found $2 bills, lottery ticket luck, parenting moments, training in martial arts) and give practical ways to shift perspective: change the scenery, build momentum with small consistent actions, and separate what you can control from what you can’t. Tune in for a gentle mix of humor, humility, and actionable mindset tools to help you feel lighter and win more often — even on the rough days.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
In this episode, Fawn & Matt explore how tiny, sometimes mysterious wins — from finding a $2 bill to changing your scenery — build momentum and brighten hard days. Tune into Our Friendly World for practical tools and real stories that actually help.


Fawn & Matt explore how tiny wins build momentum, practical stoic tools to reclaim control, and simple shifts to feel better when life gets heavy.



small wins


momentum mindset


needing a win


resilience strategies


practical stoicism


change of scenery for mood


build daily momentum


gratitude and perspective


parenting and emotional regulation


finding joy in small things




how to get small wins every day


using momentum to find a job


stoic perspective on control and outcomes


shifting perspective when you’re in a low mood


#SmallWins #Momentum #Resilience #MindsetMatters #NeedAWin #PracticalStoic #GratitudePractice #FriendshipPodcast #MentalWellbeing #ParentingMoments #OurFriendlyWorld #TinyVictories]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Small Wins, Big Momentum: How Tiny Victories Change Your Day and Your Outlook on Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this warm, honest conversation, Fawn and Matt unpack what it means to <em>need a win</em> — from Fawn’s big-win longing born of hard times to Matt’s practice of celebrating tiny, controllable victories. They trade real examples (found $2 bills, lottery ticket luck, parenting moments, training in martial arts) and give practical ways to shift perspective: change the scenery, build momentum with small consistent actions, and separate what you can control from what you can’t. Tune in for a gentle mix of humor, humility, and actionable mindset tools to help you feel lighter and win more often — even on the rough days.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p>In this episode, Fawn &amp; Matt explore how tiny, sometimes mysterious wins — from finding a $2 bill to changing your scenery — build momentum and brighten hard days. Tune into <em>Our Friendly World</em> for practical tools and real stories that actually help.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Fawn &amp; Matt explore how tiny wins build momentum, practical stoic tools to reclaim control, and simple shifts to feel better when life gets heavy.</p>
<h1><br /><br /></h1>
<ol>
<li>
<p>small wins</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>momentum mindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>needing a win</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>resilience strategies</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>practical stoicism</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>change of scenery for mood</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>build daily momentum</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>gratitude and perspective</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>parenting and emotional regulation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>finding joy in small things</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ul>
<li>
<p>how to get small wins every day</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>using momentum to find a job</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stoic perspective on control and outcomes</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>shifting perspective when you’re in a low mood</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#SmallWins #Momentum #Resilience #MindsetMatters #NeedAWin #PracticalStoic #GratitudePractice #FriendshipPodcast #MentalWellbeing #ParentingMoments #OurFriendlyWorld #TinyVictories</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2146435/c1e-5jn4a1v1d8b0xmxx-6z3v8njocw9g-n34cvk.mp3" length="26500790"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this warm, honest conversation, Fawn and Matt unpack what it means to need a win — from Fawn’s big-win longing born of hard times to Matt’s practice of celebrating tiny, controllable victories. They trade real examples (found $2 bills, lottery ticket luck, parenting moments, training in martial arts) and give practical ways to shift perspective: change the scenery, build momentum with small consistent actions, and separate what you can control from what you can’t. Tune in for a gentle mix of humor, humility, and actionable mindset tools to help you feel lighter and win more often — even on the rough days.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
In this episode, Fawn & Matt explore how tiny, sometimes mysterious wins — from finding a $2 bill to changing your scenery — build momentum and brighten hard days. Tune into Our Friendly World for practical tools and real stories that actually help.


Fawn & Matt explore how tiny wins build momentum, practical stoic tools to reclaim control, and simple shifts to feel better when life gets heavy.



small wins


momentum mindset


needing a win


resilience strategies


practical stoicism


change of scenery for mood


build daily momentum


gratitude and perspective


parenting and emotional regulation


finding joy in small things




how to get small wins every day


using momentum to find a job


stoic perspective on control and outcomes


shifting perspective when you’re in a low mood


#SmallWins #Momentum #Resilience #MindsetMatters #NeedAWin #PracticalStoic #GratitudePractice #FriendshipPodcast #MentalWellbeing #ParentingMoments #OurFriendlyWorld #TinyVictories]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2146435/c1a-8j1v-1p5m2oj5id3d-yw7y3m.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:27:36</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Fragile Line: Morality, Friendship, and the Choices That Define Us]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Sep 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2135241</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-fragile-line-morality-friendship-and-the-choices-that-define-us</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore how ordinary people can become complicit in harm when fear, propaganda, or survival instincts override empathy. From historical lessons to personal stories of betrayal, Fawn and Matt discuss the importance of moral anchors, the power of friendships, and how courageous conversations can help us resist division. Together, they remind us that kindness, compassion, and meaningful debate are essential for building trust and preventing betrayal in our communities.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p><br />friendship and betrayal, fragile line between good and evil, preventing betrayal, empathy and morality, trust in friendships, moral compass, compassion in society, friendship podcast, resisting propaganda, importance of debate</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipMatters #TrustAndBetrayal #FragileLine #GoodAndEvil #CompassionCounts #MoralCompass #KindnessIsStrength #FriendshipPodcast #EmpathyFirst #CourageousConversations</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore how ordinary people can become complicit in harm when fear, propaganda, or survival instincts override empathy. From historical lessons to personal stories of betrayal, Fawn and Matt discuss the importance of moral anchors, the power of friendships, and how courageous conversations can help us resist division. Together, they remind us that kindness, compassion, and meaningful debate are essential for building trust and preventing betrayal in our communities.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
friendship and betrayal, fragile line between good and evil, preventing betrayal, empathy and morality, trust in friendships, moral compass, compassion in society, friendship podcast, resisting propaganda, importance of debate
#FriendshipMatters #TrustAndBetrayal #FragileLine #GoodAndEvil #CompassionCounts #MoralCompass #KindnessIsStrength #FriendshipPodcast #EmpathyFirst #CourageousConversations]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Fragile Line: Morality, Friendship, and the Choices That Define Us]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore how ordinary people can become complicit in harm when fear, propaganda, or survival instincts override empathy. From historical lessons to personal stories of betrayal, Fawn and Matt discuss the importance of moral anchors, the power of friendships, and how courageous conversations can help us resist division. Together, they remind us that kindness, compassion, and meaningful debate are essential for building trust and preventing betrayal in our communities.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.</p>
<p><br />friendship and betrayal, fragile line between good and evil, preventing betrayal, empathy and morality, trust in friendships, moral compass, compassion in society, friendship podcast, resisting propaganda, importance of debate</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipMatters #TrustAndBetrayal #FragileLine #GoodAndEvil #CompassionCounts #MoralCompass #KindnessIsStrength #FriendshipPodcast #EmpathyFirst #CourageousConversations</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2135241/c1e-q63gbdvxoki0v2d8-1p53wdk5igom-r5gom4.mp3" length="44075153"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore how ordinary people can become complicit in harm when fear, propaganda, or survival instincts override empathy. From historical lessons to personal stories of betrayal, Fawn and Matt discuss the importance of moral anchors, the power of friendships, and how courageous conversations can help us resist division. Together, they remind us that kindness, compassion, and meaningful debate are essential for building trust and preventing betrayal in our communities.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it means to truly understand one another.
friendship and betrayal, fragile line between good and evil, preventing betrayal, empathy and morality, trust in friendships, moral compass, compassion in society, friendship podcast, resisting propaganda, importance of debate
#FriendshipMatters #TrustAndBetrayal #FragileLine #GoodAndEvil #CompassionCounts #MoralCompass #KindnessIsStrength #FriendshipPodcast #EmpathyFirst #CourageousConversations]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2135241/c1a-8j1v-mkj5p14jap27-gknfok.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:45:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Boundaries and Roles: Anchors Away in Friendship and Life]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Sep 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2120588</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/boundaries-and-roles-anchors-away-in-friendship-and-life</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Fawn and Matt dive into the messy reality of setting boundaries and navigating difficult relationships. From the frustrations of an intrusive neighbor to the larger questions of power, gender roles, and leadership, this episode explores what happens when our safe spaces are invaded and rage takes over.</p>
<p>Fawn shares her personal struggle with anger, vulnerability, and the addictive pull of resentment, while Matt offers grounding insights on boundaries, perspective, and even a few playful (cartoon-style) ways of reframing conflict. Together, they examine how to protect your peace, keep your circle strong, and avoid getting pulled into destructive cycles—whether with neighbors, family, or even global leaders.</p>
<p>This isn’t just about neighbors or noise; it’s about finding balance between strength and compassion, recognizing our triggers, and learning when to hold the line or let go. If you’ve ever wrestled with rage, struggled with setting limits, or wondered how to maintain your own peace in the face of conflict, this episode is for you.</p>
<p><strong>Key Themes:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Boundaries and what to do when they’re crossed</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Rage, resentment, and the addictive pull of anger</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Gender roles and the myth of peaceful leadership</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The illusion of control vs. true inner peace</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Humor, prayer, and presence as ways to reset</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast #HealthyBoundaries #AngerManagement #ToxicPeople #Mindfulness #ConflictResolution #SelfGrowth #CompassionInAction #PowerDynamics #InnerPeace</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Fawn and Matt dive into the messy reality of setting boundaries and navigating difficult relationships. From the frustrations of an intrusive neighbor to the larger questions of power, gender roles, and leadership, this episode explores what happens when our safe spaces are invaded and rage takes over.
Fawn shares her personal struggle with anger, vulnerability, and the addictive pull of resentment, while Matt offers grounding insights on boundaries, perspective, and even a few playful (cartoon-style) ways of reframing conflict. Together, they examine how to protect your peace, keep your circle strong, and avoid getting pulled into destructive cycles—whether with neighbors, family, or even global leaders.
This isn’t just about neighbors or noise; it’s about finding balance between strength and compassion, recognizing our triggers, and learning when to hold the line or let go. If you’ve ever wrestled with rage, struggled with setting limits, or wondered how to maintain your own peace in the face of conflict, this episode is for you.
Key Themes:


Boundaries and what to do when they’re crossed


Rage, resentment, and the addictive pull of anger


Gender roles and the myth of peaceful leadership


The illusion of control vs. true inner peace


Humor, prayer, and presence as ways to reset


#FriendshipPodcast #HealthyBoundaries #AngerManagement #ToxicPeople #Mindfulness #ConflictResolution #SelfGrowth #CompassionInAction #PowerDynamics #InnerPeace
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Boundaries and Roles: Anchors Away in Friendship and Life]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Fawn and Matt dive into the messy reality of setting boundaries and navigating difficult relationships. From the frustrations of an intrusive neighbor to the larger questions of power, gender roles, and leadership, this episode explores what happens when our safe spaces are invaded and rage takes over.</p>
<p>Fawn shares her personal struggle with anger, vulnerability, and the addictive pull of resentment, while Matt offers grounding insights on boundaries, perspective, and even a few playful (cartoon-style) ways of reframing conflict. Together, they examine how to protect your peace, keep your circle strong, and avoid getting pulled into destructive cycles—whether with neighbors, family, or even global leaders.</p>
<p>This isn’t just about neighbors or noise; it’s about finding balance between strength and compassion, recognizing our triggers, and learning when to hold the line or let go. If you’ve ever wrestled with rage, struggled with setting limits, or wondered how to maintain your own peace in the face of conflict, this episode is for you.</p>
<p><strong>Key Themes:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Boundaries and what to do when they’re crossed</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Rage, resentment, and the addictive pull of anger</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Gender roles and the myth of peaceful leadership</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The illusion of control vs. true inner peace</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Humor, prayer, and presence as ways to reset</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast #HealthyBoundaries #AngerManagement #ToxicPeople #Mindfulness #ConflictResolution #SelfGrowth #CompassionInAction #PowerDynamics #InnerPeace</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2120588/c1e-4j0qa1jjdrsopgpx-mkj285oncpk-6x9tez.mp3" length="24804710"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Fawn and Matt dive into the messy reality of setting boundaries and navigating difficult relationships. From the frustrations of an intrusive neighbor to the larger questions of power, gender roles, and leadership, this episode explores what happens when our safe spaces are invaded and rage takes over.
Fawn shares her personal struggle with anger, vulnerability, and the addictive pull of resentment, while Matt offers grounding insights on boundaries, perspective, and even a few playful (cartoon-style) ways of reframing conflict. Together, they examine how to protect your peace, keep your circle strong, and avoid getting pulled into destructive cycles—whether with neighbors, family, or even global leaders.
This isn’t just about neighbors or noise; it’s about finding balance between strength and compassion, recognizing our triggers, and learning when to hold the line or let go. If you’ve ever wrestled with rage, struggled with setting limits, or wondered how to maintain your own peace in the face of conflict, this episode is for you.
Key Themes:


Boundaries and what to do when they’re crossed


Rage, resentment, and the addictive pull of anger


Gender roles and the myth of peaceful leadership


The illusion of control vs. true inner peace


Humor, prayer, and presence as ways to reset


#FriendshipPodcast #HealthyBoundaries #AngerManagement #ToxicPeople #Mindfulness #ConflictResolution #SelfGrowth #CompassionInAction #PowerDynamics #InnerPeace
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2120588/c1a-8j1v-pkx5dor0hzpm-nmf2u4.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:25:50</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Stoic Aikido: Calm Is a Superpower in Friendship"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 Sep 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2065486</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/stoic-aikido-calm-is-a-superpower</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>"Stoic Aikido: Calm Is a Superpower"</strong></p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn explores the surprising connection between Stoicism and Aikido, drawing from both personal martial arts experience and philosophical insight. What begins as a mystery note—“Stoicism and Aikido”—unfolds into a deep conversation about navigating life with strength, balance, and emotional clarity. Together, Fawn and Matt discuss how to remain centered while the world throws punches (literally and figuratively), how reacting with emotion can drain our energy, and why calmness is a true superpower. With references to martial arts legends and pop culture wisdom from <em>The Karate Kid</em>, this episode reminds us that peace of mind is the greatest form of resilience.</p>
<p>Stoicism and martial arts, Aikido philosophy, emotional resilience, calm as a superpower, how to stay centered, Stoic mindset, energy management, Fawn and Matt podcast, friendly world podcast, martial arts life lessons, mindfulness in conflict, detachment and clarity, staying grounded, self-mastery, personal growth through calm</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#Stoicism #Aikido #CalmIsASuperpower #EmotionalResilience #MindfulLiving #MartialArtsWisdom #StayCentered #InnerStrength #FawnAndMatt #OurFriendlyWorld #PeaceOverPanic #SelfMastery #PhilosophyInAction #LifeLessons</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA["Stoic Aikido: Calm Is a Superpower"
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn explores the surprising connection between Stoicism and Aikido, drawing from both personal martial arts experience and philosophical insight. What begins as a mystery note—“Stoicism and Aikido”—unfolds into a deep conversation about navigating life with strength, balance, and emotional clarity. Together, Fawn and Matt discuss how to remain centered while the world throws punches (literally and figuratively), how reacting with emotion can drain our energy, and why calmness is a true superpower. With references to martial arts legends and pop culture wisdom from The Karate Kid, this episode reminds us that peace of mind is the greatest form of resilience.
Stoicism and martial arts, Aikido philosophy, emotional resilience, calm as a superpower, how to stay centered, Stoic mindset, energy management, Fawn and Matt podcast, friendly world podcast, martial arts life lessons, mindfulness in conflict, detachment and clarity, staying grounded, self-mastery, personal growth through calm
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#Stoicism #Aikido #CalmIsASuperpower #EmotionalResilience #MindfulLiving #MartialArtsWisdom #StayCentered #InnerStrength #FawnAndMatt #OurFriendlyWorld #PeaceOverPanic #SelfMastery #PhilosophyInAction #LifeLessons]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Stoic Aikido: Calm Is a Superpower in Friendship"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>"Stoic Aikido: Calm Is a Superpower"</strong></p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn explores the surprising connection between Stoicism and Aikido, drawing from both personal martial arts experience and philosophical insight. What begins as a mystery note—“Stoicism and Aikido”—unfolds into a deep conversation about navigating life with strength, balance, and emotional clarity. Together, Fawn and Matt discuss how to remain centered while the world throws punches (literally and figuratively), how reacting with emotion can drain our energy, and why calmness is a true superpower. With references to martial arts legends and pop culture wisdom from <em>The Karate Kid</em>, this episode reminds us that peace of mind is the greatest form of resilience.</p>
<p>Stoicism and martial arts, Aikido philosophy, emotional resilience, calm as a superpower, how to stay centered, Stoic mindset, energy management, Fawn and Matt podcast, friendly world podcast, martial arts life lessons, mindfulness in conflict, detachment and clarity, staying grounded, self-mastery, personal growth through calm</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#Stoicism #Aikido #CalmIsASuperpower #EmotionalResilience #MindfulLiving #MartialArtsWisdom #StayCentered #InnerStrength #FawnAndMatt #OurFriendlyWorld #PeaceOverPanic #SelfMastery #PhilosophyInAction #LifeLessons</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2065486/c1e-6jm7ao2nxrfndo35-xxo2r2rgcr6o-1gjiat.mp3" length="8843692"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA["Stoic Aikido: Calm Is a Superpower"
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn explores the surprising connection between Stoicism and Aikido, drawing from both personal martial arts experience and philosophical insight. What begins as a mystery note—“Stoicism and Aikido”—unfolds into a deep conversation about navigating life with strength, balance, and emotional clarity. Together, Fawn and Matt discuss how to remain centered while the world throws punches (literally and figuratively), how reacting with emotion can drain our energy, and why calmness is a true superpower. With references to martial arts legends and pop culture wisdom from The Karate Kid, this episode reminds us that peace of mind is the greatest form of resilience.
Stoicism and martial arts, Aikido philosophy, emotional resilience, calm as a superpower, how to stay centered, Stoic mindset, energy management, Fawn and Matt podcast, friendly world podcast, martial arts life lessons, mindfulness in conflict, detachment and clarity, staying grounded, self-mastery, personal growth through calm
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#Stoicism #Aikido #CalmIsASuperpower #EmotionalResilience #MindfulLiving #MartialArtsWisdom #StayCentered #InnerStrength #FawnAndMatt #OurFriendlyWorld #PeaceOverPanic #SelfMastery #PhilosophyInAction #LifeLessons]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2065486/c1a-8j1v-ndnx0x01bxqd-riifai.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:09:12</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Emotional Contagion: The Spontaneous Spread of Emotions Affecting Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 25 Aug 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2096047</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/emotional-contagion-the-spontaneous-spread-of-emoti61w</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>How does friendship get affected by this form of social contagion that involves the spontaneous spread of emotions and behaviors right now? We discuss pthe past and present and try to come up with answers to create a friendlier environment.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[How does friendship get affected by this form of social contagion that involves the spontaneous spread of emotions and behaviors right now? We discuss pthe past and present and try to come up with answers to create a friendlier environment.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Emotional Contagion: The Spontaneous Spread of Emotions Affecting Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>How does friendship get affected by this form of social contagion that involves the spontaneous spread of emotions and behaviors right now? We discuss pthe past and present and try to come up with answers to create a friendlier environment.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2096047/c1e-j68ob54vn4tn1kd3-3477orjjhxnj-o0lpuq.mp3" length="41639289"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[How does friendship get affected by this form of social contagion that involves the spontaneous spread of emotions and behaviors right now? We discuss pthe past and present and try to come up with answers to create a friendlier environment.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2096047/c1a-8j1v-z3kkm808fmq-yyfyum.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:43:22</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Man Keeping, Trauma Dumping, and the Hidden Cost of Emotional Labor in Friendship”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Aug 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2081854</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/man-keeping-trauma-dumping-and-the-hidden-cost-ofmbw</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this candid and lively episode, Fawn and Matt dive into the concept of “man keeping,” a term coined by researchers to describe the largely invisible emotional and social labor women perform for the men in their lives. Fawn shares how she thinks daily about Matt’s well-being and how that sometimes leads to frustration when her help isn’t wanted. The two explore the differences in how men and women process emotions and friendships, highlighting how men often avoid deep conversations with friends, leading them to lean heavily on romantic partners for support. They also discuss the phenomenon of trauma dumping — the urge to unload emotional burdens onto others — and how modern life leaves many people without the capacity to “hold the metaphorical hair” for anyone else’s emotional mess. The conversation turns toward the broader need for community (or “family”) support systems where emotional labor can be shared collectively. Fawn and Matt encourage listeners to find healthier ways to process feelings without overwhelming partners, and to nurture relationships that can sustain mutual emotional support.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<h2><br /><br /></h2>
<p>“Maybe talking to a group of people where collectively everyone has 10% energy — amongst ten people, you have 100% energy — so this person can still be held. That’s what we need: a group, a family, where we’re stronger together.” — Fawn</p>
<p>man keeping, emotional labor, trauma dumping, relationships, emotional support, friendship, men’s mental health, invisible labor, community support, modern relationships</p>
<p><br />#ManKeeping #EmotionalLabor #TraumaDumping #Relationships #MensMentalHealth #Friendship #CommunitySupport #InvisibleLabor #Podcast #EmotionalWellbeing #ModernRelationships #OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this candid and lively episode, Fawn and Matt dive into the concept of “man keeping,” a term coined by researchers to describe the largely invisible emotional and social labor women perform for the men in their lives. Fawn shares how she thinks daily about Matt’s well-being and how that sometimes leads to frustration when her help isn’t wanted. The two explore the differences in how men and women process emotions and friendships, highlighting how men often avoid deep conversations with friends, leading them to lean heavily on romantic partners for support. They also discuss the phenomenon of trauma dumping — the urge to unload emotional burdens onto others — and how modern life leaves many people without the capacity to “hold the metaphorical hair” for anyone else’s emotional mess. The conversation turns toward the broader need for community (or “family”) support systems where emotional labor can be shared collectively. Fawn and Matt encourage listeners to find healthier ways to process feelings without overwhelming partners, and to nurture relationships that can sustain mutual emotional support.

Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.

“Maybe talking to a group of people where collectively everyone has 10% energy — amongst ten people, you have 100% energy — so this person can still be held. That’s what we need: a group, a family, where we’re stronger together.” — Fawn
man keeping, emotional labor, trauma dumping, relationships, emotional support, friendship, men’s mental health, invisible labor, community support, modern relationships
#ManKeeping #EmotionalLabor #TraumaDumping #Relationships #MensMentalHealth #Friendship #CommunitySupport #InvisibleLabor #Podcast #EmotionalWellbeing #ModernRelationships #OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Man Keeping, Trauma Dumping, and the Hidden Cost of Emotional Labor in Friendship”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this candid and lively episode, Fawn and Matt dive into the concept of “man keeping,” a term coined by researchers to describe the largely invisible emotional and social labor women perform for the men in their lives. Fawn shares how she thinks daily about Matt’s well-being and how that sometimes leads to frustration when her help isn’t wanted. The two explore the differences in how men and women process emotions and friendships, highlighting how men often avoid deep conversations with friends, leading them to lean heavily on romantic partners for support. They also discuss the phenomenon of trauma dumping — the urge to unload emotional burdens onto others — and how modern life leaves many people without the capacity to “hold the metaphorical hair” for anyone else’s emotional mess. The conversation turns toward the broader need for community (or “family”) support systems where emotional labor can be shared collectively. Fawn and Matt encourage listeners to find healthier ways to process feelings without overwhelming partners, and to nurture relationships that can sustain mutual emotional support.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<h2><br /><br /></h2>
<p>“Maybe talking to a group of people where collectively everyone has 10% energy — amongst ten people, you have 100% energy — so this person can still be held. That’s what we need: a group, a family, where we’re stronger together.” — Fawn</p>
<p>man keeping, emotional labor, trauma dumping, relationships, emotional support, friendship, men’s mental health, invisible labor, community support, modern relationships</p>
<p><br />#ManKeeping #EmotionalLabor #TraumaDumping #Relationships #MensMentalHealth #Friendship #CommunitySupport #InvisibleLabor #Podcast #EmotionalWellbeing #ModernRelationships #OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2081854/c1e-dp0numm2opcpd4d9-8dq44v30f96j-i0ggzt.mp3" length="22105110"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this candid and lively episode, Fawn and Matt dive into the concept of “man keeping,” a term coined by researchers to describe the largely invisible emotional and social labor women perform for the men in their lives. Fawn shares how she thinks daily about Matt’s well-being and how that sometimes leads to frustration when her help isn’t wanted. The two explore the differences in how men and women process emotions and friendships, highlighting how men often avoid deep conversations with friends, leading them to lean heavily on romantic partners for support. They also discuss the phenomenon of trauma dumping — the urge to unload emotional burdens onto others — and how modern life leaves many people without the capacity to “hold the metaphorical hair” for anyone else’s emotional mess. The conversation turns toward the broader need for community (or “family”) support systems where emotional labor can be shared collectively. Fawn and Matt encourage listeners to find healthier ways to process feelings without overwhelming partners, and to nurture relationships that can sustain mutual emotional support.

Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.

“Maybe talking to a group of people where collectively everyone has 10% energy — amongst ten people, you have 100% energy — so this person can still be held. That’s what we need: a group, a family, where we’re stronger together.” — Fawn
man keeping, emotional labor, trauma dumping, relationships, emotional support, friendship, men’s mental health, invisible labor, community support, modern relationships
#ManKeeping #EmotionalLabor #TraumaDumping #Relationships #MensMentalHealth #Friendship #CommunitySupport #InvisibleLabor #Podcast #EmotionalWellbeing #ModernRelationships #OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2081854/c1a-8j1v-347kkvwxs723-rkqmm8.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Walking Through Resistance: Fear, Connection, and the Simple Path to Healthy Friendships”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Aug 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2080405</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/walking-through-resistance-fear-connection-and-tbqm</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt reflect on how even simple, positive activities like gathering with friends or going for a walk can sometimes feel complicated or unsafe in today’s world. Fawn shares personal experiences of feeling cautious in public spaces and discusses how social dynamics and urban design can make people feel disconnected from one another. The conversation turns to the many benefits of walking, inspired by insights from Dr. Courtney Conley, who explains how small increases in daily steps can significantly improve physical and mental health. Despite the obstacles that sometimes arise when trying to do good things, Fawn and Matt encourage listeners to keep moving forward with care, connection, and optimism.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>“Whenever you have a good idea or a good thing you’re doing, be mindful that the negative will come along to try to steer you away from the good thing that you’re doing… so just go with smarts, go with protection, go with love, go with an expectation that you are held in a wonderful light with safety and health, and lots of beautiful support.”</p>
<p>— Fawn</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Walking for health</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Community connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>War of Art</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fear and resistance</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Mental health</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Depression prevention</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Daily steps benefits</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Racial bias and community</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Small acts of self-care</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Urban walking</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Mind-body connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld #WalkingForHealth #WarOfArt #MentalHealthAwareness #CommunityConnection #FriendshipMatters #SmallStepsBigChange #OvercomingFear #MindBodyHealth #DailyWalking #HealthyHabits #PodcastLife</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt reflect on how even simple, positive activities like gathering with friends or going for a walk can sometimes feel complicated or unsafe in today’s world. Fawn shares personal experiences of feeling cautious in public spaces and discusses how social dynamics and urban design can make people feel disconnected from one another. The conversation turns to the many benefits of walking, inspired by insights from Dr. Courtney Conley, who explains how small increases in daily steps can significantly improve physical and mental health. Despite the obstacles that sometimes arise when trying to do good things, Fawn and Matt encourage listeners to keep moving forward with care, connection, and optimism.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
“Whenever you have a good idea or a good thing you’re doing, be mindful that the negative will come along to try to steer you away from the good thing that you’re doing… so just go with smarts, go with protection, go with love, go with an expectation that you are held in a wonderful light with safety and health, and lots of beautiful support.”
— Fawn


Walking for health


Community connection


War of Art


Fear and resistance


Friendship


Mental health


Depression prevention


Daily steps benefits


Racial bias and community


Small acts of self-care


Urban walking


Mind-body connection


#OurFriendlyWorld #WalkingForHealth #WarOfArt #MentalHealthAwareness #CommunityConnection #FriendshipMatters #SmallStepsBigChange #OvercomingFear #MindBodyHealth #DailyWalking #HealthyHabits #PodcastLife]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Walking Through Resistance: Fear, Connection, and the Simple Path to Healthy Friendships”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt reflect on how even simple, positive activities like gathering with friends or going for a walk can sometimes feel complicated or unsafe in today’s world. Fawn shares personal experiences of feeling cautious in public spaces and discusses how social dynamics and urban design can make people feel disconnected from one another. The conversation turns to the many benefits of walking, inspired by insights from Dr. Courtney Conley, who explains how small increases in daily steps can significantly improve physical and mental health. Despite the obstacles that sometimes arise when trying to do good things, Fawn and Matt encourage listeners to keep moving forward with care, connection, and optimism.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>“Whenever you have a good idea or a good thing you’re doing, be mindful that the negative will come along to try to steer you away from the good thing that you’re doing… so just go with smarts, go with protection, go with love, go with an expectation that you are held in a wonderful light with safety and health, and lots of beautiful support.”</p>
<p>— Fawn</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Walking for health</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Community connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>War of Art</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fear and resistance</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Mental health</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Depression prevention</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Daily steps benefits</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Racial bias and community</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Small acts of self-care</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Urban walking</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Mind-body connection</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld #WalkingForHealth #WarOfArt #MentalHealthAwareness #CommunityConnection #FriendshipMatters #SmallStepsBigChange #OvercomingFear #MindBodyHealth #DailyWalking #HealthyHabits #PodcastLife</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2080405/c1e-1j3za55omqtxv9vv-9jr43g05c3mp-0rfspe.mp3" length="25485985"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt reflect on how even simple, positive activities like gathering with friends or going for a walk can sometimes feel complicated or unsafe in today’s world. Fawn shares personal experiences of feeling cautious in public spaces and discusses how social dynamics and urban design can make people feel disconnected from one another. The conversation turns to the many benefits of walking, inspired by insights from Dr. Courtney Conley, who explains how small increases in daily steps can significantly improve physical and mental health. Despite the obstacles that sometimes arise when trying to do good things, Fawn and Matt encourage listeners to keep moving forward with care, connection, and optimism.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
“Whenever you have a good idea or a good thing you’re doing, be mindful that the negative will come along to try to steer you away from the good thing that you’re doing… so just go with smarts, go with protection, go with love, go with an expectation that you are held in a wonderful light with safety and health, and lots of beautiful support.”
— Fawn


Walking for health


Community connection


War of Art


Fear and resistance


Friendship


Mental health


Depression prevention


Daily steps benefits


Racial bias and community


Small acts of self-care


Urban walking


Mind-body connection


#OurFriendlyWorld #WalkingForHealth #WarOfArt #MentalHealthAwareness #CommunityConnection #FriendshipMatters #SmallStepsBigChange #OvercomingFear #MindBodyHealth #DailyWalking #HealthyHabits #PodcastLife]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2080405/c1a-8j1v-34dzm5gnudx-dsnzhz.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:32</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Kindness in the Chaos: Finding Friendship and Light When the World Feels Heavy”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 04 Aug 2025 02:09:10 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2103687</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/kindness-in-the-chaos-finding-light-when-the-world-feels-heavy</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><br />In this raw and heart-opening episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt revisit the theme of <strong>kindness</strong>—not as a fluffy or performative gesture, but as a deeply rooted life force that shows up when we need it most. Amid personal uncertainty and difficult news, they explore how kindness often arrives in the form of small, unforgettable moments: a stranger’s generosity, a bird’s quiet presence, a smile from a hero, or a lifelong gift from a fellow traveler.</p>
<p>Together, they reflect on the distinction between being "nice" and being truly <strong>kind</strong>, the power of remembering kind acts from the past, and why noticing and acknowledging kindness is essential, especially when things feel dark. Through laughter, memories, tears, and scientific insights, Fawn and Matt offer a gentle, uplifting reminder: <strong>Kindness is everywhere—and it matters.</strong></p>
<p>Why we need to <em>hold kindness in our pockets</em><br />The emotional ripple effect of being seen<br />Stories of unexpected generosity—from a Swiss scientist to an Iron Maiden bassist<br />How observing kindness can actually improve your health<br />The quiet strength in staying present—even with tears</p>
<p>Whether you're in a season of joy or challenge, we hope this conversation will help you feel less alone—and more connected to the invisible threads that hold us together.</p>
<p><strong>Be present. Be kind. And remember—you never know who you’re helping just by holding the door.</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>kindness in hard times</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stories of kindness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>small acts of kindness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mental health and kindness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to stay hopeful</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>kindness vs niceness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>podcast about compassion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>finding light in dark times</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional healing stories</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>the science of kindness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Our Friendly World podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fawn and Matt podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>real conversations on friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how kindness changes lives</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br />#KindnessMatters<br />#SmallActsBigImpact<br />#EmotionalResilience<br />#BeKind<br />#HopeInHardTimes<br />#StoriesOfKindness<br />#HealingThroughConnection<br />#KindnessHeals<br />#FriendshipPodcast<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p><br />#MentalHealthAwareness<br />#HumanConnection<br />#BeTheLight<br />#TrueStories<br />#PodcastRecommendations<br />#CompassionInAction<br />#KindnessIsStrength<br />#RealTalkPodcast<br />#StayHopeful<br />#HeartfeltPodcast</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this raw and heart-opening episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt revisit the theme of kindness—not as a fluffy or performative gesture, but as a deeply rooted life force that shows up when we need it most. Amid personal uncertainty and difficult news, they explore how kindness often arrives in the form of small, unforgettable moments: a stranger’s generosity, a bird’s quiet presence, a smile from a hero, or a lifelong gift from a fellow traveler.
Together, they reflect on the distinction between being "nice" and being truly kind, the power of remembering kind acts from the past, and why noticing and acknowledging kindness is essential, especially when things feel dark. Through laughter, memories, tears, and scientific insights, Fawn and Matt offer a gentle, uplifting reminder: Kindness is everywhere—and it matters.
Why we need to hold kindness in our pocketsThe emotional ripple effect of being seenStories of unexpected generosity—from a Swiss scientist to an Iron Maiden bassistHow observing kindness can actually improve your healthThe quiet strength in staying present—even with tears
Whether you're in a season of joy or challenge, we hope this conversation will help you feel less alone—and more connected to the invisible threads that hold us together.
Be present. Be kind. And remember—you never know who you’re helping just by holding the door.


kindness in hard times


emotional resilience podcast


stories of kindness


small acts of kindness


mental health and kindness


how to stay hopeful


kindness vs niceness


podcast about compassion


finding light in dark times


emotional healing stories


the science of kindness


Our Friendly World podcast


Fawn and Matt podcast


real conversations on friendship


how kindness changes lives


#KindnessMatters#SmallActsBigImpact#EmotionalResilience#BeKind#HopeInHardTimes#StoriesOfKindness#HealingThroughConnection#KindnessHeals#FriendshipPodcast#OurFriendlyWorld
#MentalHealthAwareness#HumanConnection#BeTheLight#TrueStories#PodcastRecommendations#CompassionInAction#KindnessIsStrength#RealTalkPodcast#StayHopeful#HeartfeltPodcast
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Kindness in the Chaos: Finding Friendship and Light When the World Feels Heavy”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><br />In this raw and heart-opening episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt revisit the theme of <strong>kindness</strong>—not as a fluffy or performative gesture, but as a deeply rooted life force that shows up when we need it most. Amid personal uncertainty and difficult news, they explore how kindness often arrives in the form of small, unforgettable moments: a stranger’s generosity, a bird’s quiet presence, a smile from a hero, or a lifelong gift from a fellow traveler.</p>
<p>Together, they reflect on the distinction between being "nice" and being truly <strong>kind</strong>, the power of remembering kind acts from the past, and why noticing and acknowledging kindness is essential, especially when things feel dark. Through laughter, memories, tears, and scientific insights, Fawn and Matt offer a gentle, uplifting reminder: <strong>Kindness is everywhere—and it matters.</strong></p>
<p>Why we need to <em>hold kindness in our pockets</em><br />The emotional ripple effect of being seen<br />Stories of unexpected generosity—from a Swiss scientist to an Iron Maiden bassist<br />How observing kindness can actually improve your health<br />The quiet strength in staying present—even with tears</p>
<p>Whether you're in a season of joy or challenge, we hope this conversation will help you feel less alone—and more connected to the invisible threads that hold us together.</p>
<p><strong>Be present. Be kind. And remember—you never know who you’re helping just by holding the door.</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>kindness in hard times</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stories of kindness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>small acts of kindness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mental health and kindness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to stay hopeful</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>kindness vs niceness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>podcast about compassion</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>finding light in dark times</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional healing stories</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>the science of kindness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Our Friendly World podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fawn and Matt podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>real conversations on friendship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how kindness changes lives</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br />#KindnessMatters<br />#SmallActsBigImpact<br />#EmotionalResilience<br />#BeKind<br />#HopeInHardTimes<br />#StoriesOfKindness<br />#HealingThroughConnection<br />#KindnessHeals<br />#FriendshipPodcast<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p><br />#MentalHealthAwareness<br />#HumanConnection<br />#BeTheLight<br />#TrueStories<br />#PodcastRecommendations<br />#CompassionInAction<br />#KindnessIsStrength<br />#RealTalkPodcast<br />#StayHopeful<br />#HeartfeltPodcast</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2103687/c1e-w329b379r6i0gzo8-jp3xg6wqa8m0-vgwxkx.mp3" length="21600692"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this raw and heart-opening episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt revisit the theme of kindness—not as a fluffy or performative gesture, but as a deeply rooted life force that shows up when we need it most. Amid personal uncertainty and difficult news, they explore how kindness often arrives in the form of small, unforgettable moments: a stranger’s generosity, a bird’s quiet presence, a smile from a hero, or a lifelong gift from a fellow traveler.
Together, they reflect on the distinction between being "nice" and being truly kind, the power of remembering kind acts from the past, and why noticing and acknowledging kindness is essential, especially when things feel dark. Through laughter, memories, tears, and scientific insights, Fawn and Matt offer a gentle, uplifting reminder: Kindness is everywhere—and it matters.
Why we need to hold kindness in our pocketsThe emotional ripple effect of being seenStories of unexpected generosity—from a Swiss scientist to an Iron Maiden bassistHow observing kindness can actually improve your healthThe quiet strength in staying present—even with tears
Whether you're in a season of joy or challenge, we hope this conversation will help you feel less alone—and more connected to the invisible threads that hold us together.
Be present. Be kind. And remember—you never know who you’re helping just by holding the door.


kindness in hard times


emotional resilience podcast


stories of kindness


small acts of kindness


mental health and kindness


how to stay hopeful


kindness vs niceness


podcast about compassion


finding light in dark times


emotional healing stories


the science of kindness


Our Friendly World podcast


Fawn and Matt podcast


real conversations on friendship


how kindness changes lives


#KindnessMatters#SmallActsBigImpact#EmotionalResilience#BeKind#HopeInHardTimes#StoriesOfKindness#HealingThroughConnection#KindnessHeals#FriendshipPodcast#OurFriendlyWorld
#MentalHealthAwareness#HumanConnection#BeTheLight#TrueStories#PodcastRecommendations#CompassionInAction#KindnessIsStrength#RealTalkPodcast#StayHopeful#HeartfeltPodcast
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2103687/c1a-8j1v-ww8453v4id2d-2th5xe.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:22:29</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Two Catcher's Mitts: When Giving and Receiving Get Out of Balance Within Friendships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Jul 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2065357</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/two-catchers-mitts-when-giving-and-receiving-get-out-of-balance</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt dive into a powerful Maya Angelou quote: “You shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.” The conversation unpacks what it means to be constantly in receiving mode—emotionally, spiritually, and even materially—and why true connection and growth require both giving and receiving. From baseball metaphors to bug spray mishaps, this episode explores how over-preparedness, survival mode, and self-awareness shape our relationships and our role in the world. With humor, vulnerability, and a few family antics, Fawn and Matt invite you to reflect on how you show up—and what you offer—in your everyday life.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>Maya Angelou quote podcast, meaning of giving and receiving, emotional generosity, friendship lessons, personal growth, mindful living, catcher's mitt metaphor, self-awareness, survival mode mindset, healthy relationships, parenting and preparedness, gratitude and contribution, family humor, life reflections podcast</p>
<h3><br />#PodcastEpisode #MayaAngelouWisdom #GiveAndReceive #EmotionalIntelligence #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowthPodcast #FriendshipMatters #LifeLessons #SelfAwareness #SurvivalMode #Preparedness #PodcastWithHeart #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FamilyAndPhilosophy #BugSprayAndBaseball</h3>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt dive into a powerful Maya Angelou quote: “You shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.” The conversation unpacks what it means to be constantly in receiving mode—emotionally, spiritually, and even materially—and why true connection and growth require both giving and receiving. From baseball metaphors to bug spray mishaps, this episode explores how over-preparedness, survival mode, and self-awareness shape our relationships and our role in the world. With humor, vulnerability, and a few family antics, Fawn and Matt invite you to reflect on how you show up—and what you offer—in your everyday life.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Maya Angelou quote podcast, meaning of giving and receiving, emotional generosity, friendship lessons, personal growth, mindful living, catcher's mitt metaphor, self-awareness, survival mode mindset, healthy relationships, parenting and preparedness, gratitude and contribution, family humor, life reflections podcast
#PodcastEpisode #MayaAngelouWisdom #GiveAndReceive #EmotionalIntelligence #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowthPodcast #FriendshipMatters #LifeLessons #SelfAwareness #SurvivalMode #Preparedness #PodcastWithHeart #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FamilyAndPhilosophy #BugSprayAndBaseball
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Two Catcher's Mitts: When Giving and Receiving Get Out of Balance Within Friendships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt dive into a powerful Maya Angelou quote: “You shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.” The conversation unpacks what it means to be constantly in receiving mode—emotionally, spiritually, and even materially—and why true connection and growth require both giving and receiving. From baseball metaphors to bug spray mishaps, this episode explores how over-preparedness, survival mode, and self-awareness shape our relationships and our role in the world. With humor, vulnerability, and a few family antics, Fawn and Matt invite you to reflect on how you show up—and what you offer—in your everyday life.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>Maya Angelou quote podcast, meaning of giving and receiving, emotional generosity, friendship lessons, personal growth, mindful living, catcher's mitt metaphor, self-awareness, survival mode mindset, healthy relationships, parenting and preparedness, gratitude and contribution, family humor, life reflections podcast</p>
<h3><br />#PodcastEpisode #MayaAngelouWisdom #GiveAndReceive #EmotionalIntelligence #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowthPodcast #FriendshipMatters #LifeLessons #SelfAwareness #SurvivalMode #Preparedness #PodcastWithHeart #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FamilyAndPhilosophy #BugSprayAndBaseball</h3>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2065357/c1e-0jo1akjq21tgm3mr-mk4do7v2cd2-4ce8gb.mp3" length="8783495"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt dive into a powerful Maya Angelou quote: “You shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.” The conversation unpacks what it means to be constantly in receiving mode—emotionally, spiritually, and even materially—and why true connection and growth require both giving and receiving. From baseball metaphors to bug spray mishaps, this episode explores how over-preparedness, survival mode, and self-awareness shape our relationships and our role in the world. With humor, vulnerability, and a few family antics, Fawn and Matt invite you to reflect on how you show up—and what you offer—in your everyday life.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Maya Angelou quote podcast, meaning of giving and receiving, emotional generosity, friendship lessons, personal growth, mindful living, catcher's mitt metaphor, self-awareness, survival mode mindset, healthy relationships, parenting and preparedness, gratitude and contribution, family humor, life reflections podcast
#PodcastEpisode #MayaAngelouWisdom #GiveAndReceive #EmotionalIntelligence #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowthPodcast #FriendshipMatters #LifeLessons #SelfAwareness #SurvivalMode #Preparedness #PodcastWithHeart #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #FamilyAndPhilosophy #BugSprayAndBaseball
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2065357/c1a-8j1v-ndnx3k25io41-ictge3.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:09:08</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Never Get Angry or Bothered by Anyone and Improving the Art of Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Jul 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2065356</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-never-get-angry-or-bothered-by-anyone</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn opens up about the emotional toll of being ignored and misunderstood, exploring how silence can sometimes feel like a weapon rather than a peaceful act. Together, she and Matt unpack how overwhelm, emotional triggers, and the need for connection shape our reactions to conflict. They examine stoicism, the illusion of control, and the surprising ways people seek connection—even through confrontation. Matt shares a Zen parable about anger and personal responsibility, while Fawn reflects on the volcanic nature of repressed emotion. This raw, honest conversation challenges listeners to question where their reactions come from and how to find peace in the chaos of modern relationships.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>emotional overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stoicism and silence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>being ignored in family</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to deal with anger</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>seeking connection through conflict</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Zen parable anger</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>inner peace in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>silent treatment psychology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>podcast on emotional intelligence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and boundaries</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#EmotionalIntelligence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#Overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#SilentTreatment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#AngerAndHealing</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#ZenWisdom</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#Stoicism</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#FamilyDynamics</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#SelfAwareness</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn opens up about the emotional toll of being ignored and misunderstood, exploring how silence can sometimes feel like a weapon rather than a peaceful act. Together, she and Matt unpack how overwhelm, emotional triggers, and the need for connection shape our reactions to conflict. They examine stoicism, the illusion of control, and the surprising ways people seek connection—even through confrontation. Matt shares a Zen parable about anger and personal responsibility, while Fawn reflects on the volcanic nature of repressed emotion. This raw, honest conversation challenges listeners to question where their reactions come from and how to find peace in the chaos of modern relationships.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


emotional overwhelm


stoicism and silence


being ignored in family


how to deal with anger


seeking connection through conflict


Zen parable anger


inner peace in relationships


silent treatment psychology


podcast on emotional intelligence


friendship and boundaries





#OurFriendlyWorld


#EmotionalIntelligence


#Overwhelm


#SilentTreatment


#AngerAndHealing


#ZenWisdom


#Stoicism


#FamilyDynamics


#FriendshipPodcast


#SelfAwareness


]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Never Get Angry or Bothered by Anyone and Improving the Art of Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn opens up about the emotional toll of being ignored and misunderstood, exploring how silence can sometimes feel like a weapon rather than a peaceful act. Together, she and Matt unpack how overwhelm, emotional triggers, and the need for connection shape our reactions to conflict. They examine stoicism, the illusion of control, and the surprising ways people seek connection—even through confrontation. Matt shares a Zen parable about anger and personal responsibility, while Fawn reflects on the volcanic nature of repressed emotion. This raw, honest conversation challenges listeners to question where their reactions come from and how to find peace in the chaos of modern relationships.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>emotional overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stoicism and silence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>being ignored in family</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to deal with anger</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>seeking connection through conflict</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Zen parable anger</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>inner peace in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>silent treatment psychology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>podcast on emotional intelligence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and boundaries</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#EmotionalIntelligence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#Overwhelm</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#SilentTreatment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#AngerAndHealing</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#ZenWisdom</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#Stoicism</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#FamilyDynamics</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#SelfAwareness</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2065356/c1e-k6v3bgjq1ps941mx-47k5rp4qb758-i3y3mi.mp3" length="25836242"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn opens up about the emotional toll of being ignored and misunderstood, exploring how silence can sometimes feel like a weapon rather than a peaceful act. Together, she and Matt unpack how overwhelm, emotional triggers, and the need for connection shape our reactions to conflict. They examine stoicism, the illusion of control, and the surprising ways people seek connection—even through confrontation. Matt shares a Zen parable about anger and personal responsibility, while Fawn reflects on the volcanic nature of repressed emotion. This raw, honest conversation challenges listeners to question where their reactions come from and how to find peace in the chaos of modern relationships.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


emotional overwhelm


stoicism and silence


being ignored in family


how to deal with anger


seeking connection through conflict


Zen parable anger


inner peace in relationships


silent treatment psychology


podcast on emotional intelligence


friendship and boundaries





#OurFriendlyWorld


#EmotionalIntelligence


#Overwhelm


#SilentTreatment


#AngerAndHealing


#ZenWisdom


#Stoicism


#FamilyDynamics


#FriendshipPodcast


#SelfAwareness


]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2065356/c1a-8j1v-jpd5vgxga46g-cx84mr.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How OVERWHELM is Connected to Loneliness and What We Can Do About It to Build True Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Jul 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2061871</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-overwhelm-is-connected-to-loneliness-and-what-we-can-do-about-it</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Join us this week as we reveal how overwhelm is one force at the root of our disconnect.<br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Join us this week as we reveal how overwhelm is one force at the root of our disconnect.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[How OVERWHELM is Connected to Loneliness and What We Can Do About It to Build True Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
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                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Join us this week as we reveal how overwhelm is one force at the root of our disconnect.<br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2061871/c1e-w329b3rz6vt0gmq5-5zxmzx9xsndw-uwdrob.mp3" length="21803356"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Join us this week as we reveal how overwhelm is one force at the root of our disconnect.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2061871/c1a-8j1v-dmz9mz8zb8wv-q9clqm.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:22:42</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Go With Loving Intention: How Setting Emotional Energy Changes Everything in Friendship”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Jul 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2056046</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/go-with-loving-intention-how-setting-emotional-energy-changes-everything</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn shares a powerful technique she learned from a casting director that transforms not just auditions, but everyday life—<strong>setting intentions with loving energy</strong>. Whether you're preparing for a Zoom meeting, a job interview, or simply heading out into the world, the emotional vibration you carry deeply affects how others perceive and respond to you.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt explore how consciously choosing emotions like safety, joy, support, and abundance can shift outcomes in everything from parenting to workplace dynamics. They dive into real-life examples—from voiceover work and singing lessons to parenting and problem-solving at work—demonstrating how unseen forces and energy truly shape our interactions.</p>
<p>This episode is a gentle, practical reminder that <strong>your energy precedes your words</strong>—and that what you put out into the world can come back in beautiful, unexpected ways.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
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<li>
<p>emotional intention setting</p>
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<li>
<p>how to set intention for success</p>
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<li>
<p>loving intention communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to improve energy in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>energy and intention in communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindful meetings</p>
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<li>
<p>parenting with intention</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>energy shifts in conversations</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how emotions affect communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>using intention in daily life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#GoWithIntention #EmotionalEnergy #MindfulCommunication #SetYourVibe #EnergyMatters #IntentionalLiving #ParentingWithLove #ZoomWithPurpose #ConsciousCommunication #FriendlyWorldPodcast #FawnAndMatt #HeartCenteredLiving #RaiseYourVibration #EverydayMindfulness</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn shares a powerful technique she learned from a casting director that transforms not just auditions, but everyday life—setting intentions with loving energy. Whether you're preparing for a Zoom meeting, a job interview, or simply heading out into the world, the emotional vibration you carry deeply affects how others perceive and respond to you.
Fawn and Matt explore how consciously choosing emotions like safety, joy, support, and abundance can shift outcomes in everything from parenting to workplace dynamics. They dive into real-life examples—from voiceover work and singing lessons to parenting and problem-solving at work—demonstrating how unseen forces and energy truly shape our interactions.
This episode is a gentle, practical reminder that your energy precedes your words—and that what you put out into the world can come back in beautiful, unexpected ways.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


emotional intention setting


how to set intention for success


loving intention communication


how to improve energy in relationships


energy and intention in communication


mindful meetings


parenting with intention


energy shifts in conversations


how emotions affect communication


using intention in daily life



#GoWithIntention #EmotionalEnergy #MindfulCommunication #SetYourVibe #EnergyMatters #IntentionalLiving #ParentingWithLove #ZoomWithPurpose #ConsciousCommunication #FriendlyWorldPodcast #FawnAndMatt #HeartCenteredLiving #RaiseYourVibration #EverydayMindfulness]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Go With Loving Intention: How Setting Emotional Energy Changes Everything in Friendship”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn shares a powerful technique she learned from a casting director that transforms not just auditions, but everyday life—<strong>setting intentions with loving energy</strong>. Whether you're preparing for a Zoom meeting, a job interview, or simply heading out into the world, the emotional vibration you carry deeply affects how others perceive and respond to you.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt explore how consciously choosing emotions like safety, joy, support, and abundance can shift outcomes in everything from parenting to workplace dynamics. They dive into real-life examples—from voiceover work and singing lessons to parenting and problem-solving at work—demonstrating how unseen forces and energy truly shape our interactions.</p>
<p>This episode is a gentle, practical reminder that <strong>your energy precedes your words</strong>—and that what you put out into the world can come back in beautiful, unexpected ways.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>emotional intention setting</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to set intention for success</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>loving intention communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to improve energy in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>energy and intention in communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindful meetings</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>parenting with intention</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>energy shifts in conversations</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how emotions affect communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>using intention in daily life</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#GoWithIntention #EmotionalEnergy #MindfulCommunication #SetYourVibe #EnergyMatters #IntentionalLiving #ParentingWithLove #ZoomWithPurpose #ConsciousCommunication #FriendlyWorldPodcast #FawnAndMatt #HeartCenteredLiving #RaiseYourVibration #EverydayMindfulness</p>]]>
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                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2056046/c1e-r691bwz0qrc2kwo7-gp363663uq0-dguecs.mp3" length="9604380"
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn shares a powerful technique she learned from a casting director that transforms not just auditions, but everyday life—setting intentions with loving energy. Whether you're preparing for a Zoom meeting, a job interview, or simply heading out into the world, the emotional vibration you carry deeply affects how others perceive and respond to you.
Fawn and Matt explore how consciously choosing emotions like safety, joy, support, and abundance can shift outcomes in everything from parenting to workplace dynamics. They dive into real-life examples—from voiceover work and singing lessons to parenting and problem-solving at work—demonstrating how unseen forces and energy truly shape our interactions.
This episode is a gentle, practical reminder that your energy precedes your words—and that what you put out into the world can come back in beautiful, unexpected ways.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


emotional intention setting


how to set intention for success


loving intention communication


how to improve energy in relationships


energy and intention in communication


mindful meetings


parenting with intention


energy shifts in conversations


how emotions affect communication


using intention in daily life



#GoWithIntention #EmotionalEnergy #MindfulCommunication #SetYourVibe #EnergyMatters #IntentionalLiving #ParentingWithLove #ZoomWithPurpose #ConsciousCommunication #FriendlyWorldPodcast #FawnAndMatt #HeartCenteredLiving #RaiseYourVibration #EverydayMindfulness]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2056046/c1a-8j1v-9jrxrxxqu309-vo2pgv.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:10:00</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“It's No Walk in the Park: The Cost of Togetherness and Friendship in a Capitalist Culture”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Jun 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2055723</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/its-no-walk-in-the-park-the-cost-of-togetherness-in-a-capitalist-culture</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p></p>
<p><strong>From Loitering to Loneliness: How We Lost Public Togetherness - </strong>We explore why it's so hard to just “be” together in public without spending money. Fawn shares a powerful childhood memory about being othered for gathering in a park, sparking a bigger conversation about how American culture often discourages community connection unless it's tied to consumerism. From the stigma of loitering to the high cost of simple outings, we ask: Why is togetherness treated like a threat, and is there a system in place that keeps us isolated? Join us as we unpack the quiet obstacles to friendship, belonging, and free communal joy.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#CommunityMatters<br />#TheArtOfFriendship<br />#ConnectionOverConsumption<br />#PodcastConversation<br />#Belonging<br />#Togetherness<br />#CulturalReflections<br />#NoLoitering<br />#WalkInThePark<br />#FriendshipInAmerica<br />#EverydayPhilosophy<br />#PublicSpacesMatter<br />#InvisibleBarriers<br />#FamilyPodcast<br />#FawnAndMatt</p>
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                    <![CDATA[
From Loitering to Loneliness: How We Lost Public Togetherness - We explore why it's so hard to just “be” together in public without spending money. Fawn shares a powerful childhood memory about being othered for gathering in a park, sparking a bigger conversation about how American culture often discourages community connection unless it's tied to consumerism. From the stigma of loitering to the high cost of simple outings, we ask: Why is togetherness treated like a threat, and is there a system in place that keeps us isolated? Join us as we unpack the quiet obstacles to friendship, belonging, and free communal joy.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#CommunityMatters#TheArtOfFriendship#ConnectionOverConsumption#PodcastConversation#Belonging#Togetherness#CulturalReflections#NoLoitering#WalkInThePark#FriendshipInAmerica#EverydayPhilosophy#PublicSpacesMatter#InvisibleBarriers#FamilyPodcast#FawnAndMatt
SEO Keywords:


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]]>
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                    <![CDATA[“It's No Walk in the Park: The Cost of Togetherness and Friendship in a Capitalist Culture”]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p></p>
<p><strong>From Loitering to Loneliness: How We Lost Public Togetherness - </strong>We explore why it's so hard to just “be” together in public without spending money. Fawn shares a powerful childhood memory about being othered for gathering in a park, sparking a bigger conversation about how American culture often discourages community connection unless it's tied to consumerism. From the stigma of loitering to the high cost of simple outings, we ask: Why is togetherness treated like a threat, and is there a system in place that keeps us isolated? Join us as we unpack the quiet obstacles to friendship, belonging, and free communal joy.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#CommunityMatters<br />#TheArtOfFriendship<br />#ConnectionOverConsumption<br />#PodcastConversation<br />#Belonging<br />#Togetherness<br />#CulturalReflections<br />#NoLoitering<br />#WalkInThePark<br />#FriendshipInAmerica<br />#EverydayPhilosophy<br />#PublicSpacesMatter<br />#InvisibleBarriers<br />#FamilyPodcast<br />#FawnAndMatt</p>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[
From Loitering to Loneliness: How We Lost Public Togetherness - We explore why it's so hard to just “be” together in public without spending money. Fawn shares a powerful childhood memory about being othered for gathering in a park, sparking a bigger conversation about how American culture often discourages community connection unless it's tied to consumerism. From the stigma of loitering to the high cost of simple outings, we ask: Why is togetherness treated like a threat, and is there a system in place that keeps us isolated? Join us as we unpack the quiet obstacles to friendship, belonging, and free communal joy.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#CommunityMatters#TheArtOfFriendship#ConnectionOverConsumption#PodcastConversation#Belonging#Togetherness#CulturalReflections#NoLoitering#WalkInThePark#FriendshipInAmerica#EverydayPhilosophy#PublicSpacesMatter#InvisibleBarriers#FamilyPodcast#FawnAndMatt
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capitalism and community


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]]>
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                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2055723/c1a-8j1v-9jr97147ip1g-rgezij.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:22:49</itunes:duration>
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                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Guilt, Obligation, and the Art of Letting Goin Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Jun 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2045904</guid>
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                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this candid and deeply personal episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the emotional weight of guilt and the complex ties of obligation in relationships—especially those we maintain out of duty rather than genuine connection. Fawn shares her journey of breaking away from toxic dynamics, the haunting echoes of guilt that follow, and the eventual freedom that comes with setting healthy boundaries. Matt introduces the concept of the “empty jacket,” a form of emotional self-protection. Together, they discuss how to uphold your code of conduct with compassion while choosing joy over guilt. If you've ever struggled with cutting ties or managing relationships that drain your spirit, this conversation will offer clarity, comfort, and actionable insight.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></p>
<p>#EmotionalBoundaries #ToxicRelationships #LettingGo #FamilyDynamics #GuiltAndObligation #HealingJourney #SelfRespect #EmpathyAndBoundaries #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p>guilt, obligation, toxic relationships, family expectations, emotional boundaries, letting go, healing from guilt, code of conduct, emotional freedom, empathy, self-worth, difficult conversations, podcast about friendship, Fawn and Matt, our friendly world podcast</p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[In this candid and deeply personal episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the emotional weight of guilt and the complex ties of obligation in relationships—especially those we maintain out of duty rather than genuine connection. Fawn shares her journey of breaking away from toxic dynamics, the haunting echoes of guilt that follow, and the eventual freedom that comes with setting healthy boundaries. Matt introduces the concept of the “empty jacket,” a form of emotional self-protection. Together, they discuss how to uphold your code of conduct with compassion while choosing joy over guilt. If you've ever struggled with cutting ties or managing relationships that drain your spirit, this conversation will offer clarity, comfort, and actionable insight.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#EmotionalBoundaries #ToxicRelationships #LettingGo #FamilyDynamics #GuiltAndObligation #HealingJourney #SelfRespect #EmpathyAndBoundaries #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld
guilt, obligation, toxic relationships, family expectations, emotional boundaries, letting go, healing from guilt, code of conduct, emotional freedom, empathy, self-worth, difficult conversations, podcast about friendship, Fawn and Matt, our friendly world podcast]]>
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                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Guilt, Obligation, and the Art of Letting Goin Friendship]]>
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                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this candid and deeply personal episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the emotional weight of guilt and the complex ties of obligation in relationships—especially those we maintain out of duty rather than genuine connection. Fawn shares her journey of breaking away from toxic dynamics, the haunting echoes of guilt that follow, and the eventual freedom that comes with setting healthy boundaries. Matt introduces the concept of the “empty jacket,” a form of emotional self-protection. Together, they discuss how to uphold your code of conduct with compassion while choosing joy over guilt. If you've ever struggled with cutting ties or managing relationships that drain your spirit, this conversation will offer clarity, comfort, and actionable insight.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></p>
<p>#EmotionalBoundaries #ToxicRelationships #LettingGo #FamilyDynamics #GuiltAndObligation #HealingJourney #SelfRespect #EmpathyAndBoundaries #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p>guilt, obligation, toxic relationships, family expectations, emotional boundaries, letting go, healing from guilt, code of conduct, emotional freedom, empathy, self-worth, difficult conversations, podcast about friendship, Fawn and Matt, our friendly world podcast</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2045904/c1e-q63gbdp51ou0v2v8-z32m1j4mfpx2-z2ebqj.mp3" length="15215884"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this candid and deeply personal episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the emotional weight of guilt and the complex ties of obligation in relationships—especially those we maintain out of duty rather than genuine connection. Fawn shares her journey of breaking away from toxic dynamics, the haunting echoes of guilt that follow, and the eventual freedom that comes with setting healthy boundaries. Matt introduces the concept of the “empty jacket,” a form of emotional self-protection. Together, they discuss how to uphold your code of conduct with compassion while choosing joy over guilt. If you've ever struggled with cutting ties or managing relationships that drain your spirit, this conversation will offer clarity, comfort, and actionable insight.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#EmotionalBoundaries #ToxicRelationships #LettingGo #FamilyDynamics #GuiltAndObligation #HealingJourney #SelfRespect #EmpathyAndBoundaries #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld
guilt, obligation, toxic relationships, family expectations, emotional boundaries, letting go, healing from guilt, code of conduct, emotional freedom, empathy, self-worth, difficult conversations, podcast about friendship, Fawn and Matt, our friendly world podcast]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2045904/c1a-8j1v-xxo0kd76c89-ulhlte.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:15:50</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Playground Behavior and the Path to Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Jun 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2045883</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/playground-behavior</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this friendship podcast episode, we explore: Remembering the playground culture and how it transforms our culture.</p>
<p>life as a playground, friendship podcast, emotional intelligence, kindness in everyday life, curiosity and courage, Fawn and Matt podcast, community and connection, how to be kind, healing through friendship, self-awareness, mindfulness in relationships, social courage, parenting with compassion, empathy, communication in relationships<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#ThePlayground #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #KindnessMatters #EmotionalIntelligence #FriendshipGoals #ConnectionIsKey #CuriosityAndCourage #MindfulLiving #EmpathyInAction #CompassionateLiving #PodcastAboutFriendship #EverydayKindness #HealingTogether #BeTheChange</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this friendship podcast episode, we explore: Remembering the playground culture and how it transforms our culture.
life as a playground, friendship podcast, emotional intelligence, kindness in everyday life, curiosity and courage, Fawn and Matt podcast, community and connection, how to be kind, healing through friendship, self-awareness, mindfulness in relationships, social courage, parenting with compassion, empathy, communication in relationshipsOur Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#ThePlayground #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #KindnessMatters #EmotionalIntelligence #FriendshipGoals #ConnectionIsKey #CuriosityAndCourage #MindfulLiving #EmpathyInAction #CompassionateLiving #PodcastAboutFriendship #EverydayKindness #HealingTogether #BeTheChange
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Playground Behavior and the Path to Friendship]]>
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                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this friendship podcast episode, we explore: Remembering the playground culture and how it transforms our culture.</p>
<p>life as a playground, friendship podcast, emotional intelligence, kindness in everyday life, curiosity and courage, Fawn and Matt podcast, community and connection, how to be kind, healing through friendship, self-awareness, mindfulness in relationships, social courage, parenting with compassion, empathy, communication in relationships<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#ThePlayground #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #KindnessMatters #EmotionalIntelligence #FriendshipGoals #ConnectionIsKey #CuriosityAndCourage #MindfulLiving #EmpathyInAction #CompassionateLiving #PodcastAboutFriendship #EverydayKindness #HealingTogether #BeTheChange</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this friendship podcast episode, we explore: Remembering the playground culture and how it transforms our culture.
life as a playground, friendship podcast, emotional intelligence, kindness in everyday life, curiosity and courage, Fawn and Matt podcast, community and connection, how to be kind, healing through friendship, self-awareness, mindfulness in relationships, social courage, parenting with compassion, empathy, communication in relationshipsOur Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#ThePlayground #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #KindnessMatters #EmotionalIntelligence #FriendshipGoals #ConnectionIsKey #CuriosityAndCourage #MindfulLiving #EmpathyInAction #CompassionateLiving #PodcastAboutFriendship #EverydayKindness #HealingTogether #BeTheChange
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2045883/c1a-8j1v-7z308o60akv6-84d9ck.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:40:30</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Belonging: What It Looks Like in Friendship"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Jun 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2041917</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/belonging-what-it-looks-like</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we continue a kitchen conversation about <em>belonging</em>—what it looks like, what it feels like, and how it can shift depending on where you are, what you do, or even what you wear. From the close-knit community vibes of their old Santa Monica neighborhood to feeling like outsiders in unfamiliar towns, Fawn and Matt open up about the markers of acceptance.</p>
<p>They explore how clothing signals identity—how a hoodie or suit can change how you're perceived—and how societal shifts have changed what it means to "look like you belong." From the days when dressing up meant access and respect, to the rise of hoodie culture in tech and casual power dressing, they unpack the hidden layers of presentation and privilege. Matt shares a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the programmer world, where skill trumps style (most of the time), while Fawn reflects on how outfits can influence not only how others treat us, but how we feel about ourselves.</p>
<p>This is a heartful, funny, and insightful look at the silent codes that shape our sense of inclusion and identity.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p><br />belonging, identity, self-worth, clothing and perception, friendship, community, tech culture, dress codes, power dressing, modern society, presentation, self-expression, emotional impact of clothing, inclusivity, Our Friendly World podcast</p>
<p><br />#Belonging #IdentityAndStyle #WhatWeWear #SelfExpression #TechCulture #ClothingAndPerception #FriendshipMatters #OurFriendlyWorld #DressCodeDiaries #PowerDressing #PodcastOnBelonging #CulturalShifts #CommunityVibes #FawnAndMatt #InclusiveLiving</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
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                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we continue a kitchen conversation about belonging—what it looks like, what it feels like, and how it can shift depending on where you are, what you do, or even what you wear. From the close-knit community vibes of their old Santa Monica neighborhood to feeling like outsiders in unfamiliar towns, Fawn and Matt open up about the markers of acceptance.
They explore how clothing signals identity—how a hoodie or suit can change how you're perceived—and how societal shifts have changed what it means to "look like you belong." From the days when dressing up meant access and respect, to the rise of hoodie culture in tech and casual power dressing, they unpack the hidden layers of presentation and privilege. Matt shares a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the programmer world, where skill trumps style (most of the time), while Fawn reflects on how outfits can influence not only how others treat us, but how we feel about ourselves.
This is a heartful, funny, and insightful look at the silent codes that shape our sense of inclusion and identity.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
belonging, identity, self-worth, clothing and perception, friendship, community, tech culture, dress codes, power dressing, modern society, presentation, self-expression, emotional impact of clothing, inclusivity, Our Friendly World podcast
#Belonging #IdentityAndStyle #WhatWeWear #SelfExpression #TechCulture #ClothingAndPerception #FriendshipMatters #OurFriendlyWorld #DressCodeDiaries #PowerDressing #PodcastOnBelonging #CulturalShifts #CommunityVibes #FawnAndMatt #InclusiveLiving

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dress and social perception


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visual identity cues


what belonging looks like


fitting in vs standing out


how we signal inclusion


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belonging in society


clothing and connection


#Belonging


#Identity


#SocialSignals


#CulturalConnection


#FittingIn


#VisualIdentity


#TheLookOfBelonging


#BelongingMatters


#InclusionAndIdentity


#WhatWeWear




#DressForBelonging


#NonverbalCommunication


#BelongingPodcast


#ArtOfFriendship


#OurFriendlyWorld



]]>
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                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Belonging: What It Looks Like in Friendship"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we continue a kitchen conversation about <em>belonging</em>—what it looks like, what it feels like, and how it can shift depending on where you are, what you do, or even what you wear. From the close-knit community vibes of their old Santa Monica neighborhood to feeling like outsiders in unfamiliar towns, Fawn and Matt open up about the markers of acceptance.</p>
<p>They explore how clothing signals identity—how a hoodie or suit can change how you're perceived—and how societal shifts have changed what it means to "look like you belong." From the days when dressing up meant access and respect, to the rise of hoodie culture in tech and casual power dressing, they unpack the hidden layers of presentation and privilege. Matt shares a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the programmer world, where skill trumps style (most of the time), while Fawn reflects on how outfits can influence not only how others treat us, but how we feel about ourselves.</p>
<p>This is a heartful, funny, and insightful look at the silent codes that shape our sense of inclusion and identity.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p><br />belonging, identity, self-worth, clothing and perception, friendship, community, tech culture, dress codes, power dressing, modern society, presentation, self-expression, emotional impact of clothing, inclusivity, Our Friendly World podcast</p>
<p><br />#Belonging #IdentityAndStyle #WhatWeWear #SelfExpression #TechCulture #ClothingAndPerception #FriendshipMatters #OurFriendlyWorld #DressCodeDiaries #PowerDressing #PodcastOnBelonging #CulturalShifts #CommunityVibes #FawnAndMatt #InclusiveLiving</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
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<p>dress and social perception</p>
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<p>cultural belonging</p>
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<p>visual identity cues</p>
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<p>what belonging looks like</p>
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<li>
<p>fitting in vs standing out</p>
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<li>
<p>how we signal inclusion</p>
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<p>nonverbal communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>belonging in society</p>
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<li>
<p>clothing and connection</p>
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<p>#Belonging</p>
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<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
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                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2041917/c1e-n670bd16kridk6ov-47kqx2roi6p6-ssno2q.m4a" length="30133163"
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we continue a kitchen conversation about belonging—what it looks like, what it feels like, and how it can shift depending on where you are, what you do, or even what you wear. From the close-knit community vibes of their old Santa Monica neighborhood to feeling like outsiders in unfamiliar towns, Fawn and Matt open up about the markers of acceptance.
They explore how clothing signals identity—how a hoodie or suit can change how you're perceived—and how societal shifts have changed what it means to "look like you belong." From the days when dressing up meant access and respect, to the rise of hoodie culture in tech and casual power dressing, they unpack the hidden layers of presentation and privilege. Matt shares a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the programmer world, where skill trumps style (most of the time), while Fawn reflects on how outfits can influence not only how others treat us, but how we feel about ourselves.
This is a heartful, funny, and insightful look at the silent codes that shape our sense of inclusion and identity.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
belonging, identity, self-worth, clothing and perception, friendship, community, tech culture, dress codes, power dressing, modern society, presentation, self-expression, emotional impact of clothing, inclusivity, Our Friendly World podcast
#Belonging #IdentityAndStyle #WhatWeWear #SelfExpression #TechCulture #ClothingAndPerception #FriendshipMatters #OurFriendlyWorld #DressCodeDiaries #PowerDressing #PodcastOnBelonging #CulturalShifts #CommunityVibes #FawnAndMatt #InclusiveLiving

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#Identity


#SocialSignals


#CulturalConnection


#FittingIn


#VisualIdentity


#TheLookOfBelonging


#BelongingMatters


#InclusionAndIdentity


#WhatWeWear




#DressForBelonging


#NonverbalCommunication


#BelongingPodcast


#ArtOfFriendship


#OurFriendlyWorld



]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2041917/c1a-8j1v-7z3v97m8fmzp-0mcrmj.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:24:59</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Perceived Value: In Friendship, Who Decides What (and Who) Is Worth It?”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Jun 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2041915</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/perceived-value-who-decides-what-and-who-is-worth-it</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the powerful concept of <em>perceived value</em>—from currency to careers, and friendship to self-worth.</p>
<p>Fawn recounts a recent conversation with a former finance professional about the legitimacy of crypto vs. the dollar, opening the door to a deeper conversation about how we assign value in society. Together, Fawn and Matt examine how gender, race, profession, and personal behavior all shape the way we are valued—or undervalued—by others.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>How perceived value affects friendship and emotional availability</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The evolution of professions like teaching, cooking, and yoga</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How systemic biases influence our daily lives and sense of worth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why some people resist change, innovation, or new paradigms like cryptocurrency</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Personal stories of being underestimated or misjudged</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Tune in for a raw, real conversation about where value truly comes from—and how we can reframe our worth beyond societal labels.</p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>perceived value</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and worth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>societal value systems</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>crypto vs fiat currency</p>
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<p>gender pay gap</p>
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<li>
<p>racism and bias</p>
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<p>undervalued professions</p>
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<p>yoga in America</p>
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</ul>
<p>#PerceivedValue #FriendshipMatters #RedefineWorth #CryptoVsDollar #SocialBias #ValueBeyondLabels #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #WomenInTheWorkplace #YogaAuthenticity #PodcastEpisode #FriendshipPodcast</p>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast #CryptoConversation #ValueAndWorth #UnpaidLabor #YogaRoots #AyurvedaWisdom #GenderBias #SocialJustice #TheArtOfFriendship #CulturalPerception #FeminineWorth #FriendshipTalk #BlockchainBeliefs #EverydayPhilosophy #VoiceAndValue</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the powerful concept of perceived value—from currency to careers, and friendship to self-worth.
Fawn recounts a recent conversation with a former finance professional about the legitimacy of crypto vs. the dollar, opening the door to a deeper conversation about how we assign value in society. Together, Fawn and Matt examine how gender, race, profession, and personal behavior all shape the way we are valued—or undervalued—by others.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


How perceived value affects friendship and emotional availability


The evolution of professions like teaching, cooking, and yoga


How systemic biases influence our daily lives and sense of worth


Why some people resist change, innovation, or new paradigms like cryptocurrency


Personal stories of being underestimated or misjudged


Tune in for a raw, real conversation about where value truly comes from—and how we can reframe our worth beyond societal labels.



perceived value


friendship and worth


societal value systems


crypto vs fiat currency


gender pay gap


racism and bias


undervalued professions


yoga in America


currency and belief systems


redefining value


#PerceivedValue #FriendshipMatters #RedefineWorth #CryptoVsDollar #SocialBias #ValueBeyondLabels #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #WomenInTheWorkplace #YogaAuthenticity #PodcastEpisode #FriendshipPodcast
#FriendshipPodcast #CryptoConversation #ValueAndWorth #UnpaidLabor #YogaRoots #AyurvedaWisdom #GenderBias #SocialJustice #TheArtOfFriendship #CulturalPerception #FeminineWorth #FriendshipTalk #BlockchainBeliefs #EverydayPhilosophy #VoiceAndValue]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Perceived Value: In Friendship, Who Decides What (and Who) Is Worth It?”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the powerful concept of <em>perceived value</em>—from currency to careers, and friendship to self-worth.</p>
<p>Fawn recounts a recent conversation with a former finance professional about the legitimacy of crypto vs. the dollar, opening the door to a deeper conversation about how we assign value in society. Together, Fawn and Matt examine how gender, race, profession, and personal behavior all shape the way we are valued—or undervalued—by others.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>How perceived value affects friendship and emotional availability</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The evolution of professions like teaching, cooking, and yoga</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How systemic biases influence our daily lives and sense of worth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Why some people resist change, innovation, or new paradigms like cryptocurrency</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Personal stories of being underestimated or misjudged</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Tune in for a raw, real conversation about where value truly comes from—and how we can reframe our worth beyond societal labels.</p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>perceived value</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and worth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>societal value systems</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>crypto vs fiat currency</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>gender pay gap</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>racism and bias</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>undervalued professions</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>yoga in America</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>currency and belief systems</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>redefining value</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#PerceivedValue #FriendshipMatters #RedefineWorth #CryptoVsDollar #SocialBias #ValueBeyondLabels #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #WomenInTheWorkplace #YogaAuthenticity #PodcastEpisode #FriendshipPodcast</p>
<p>#FriendshipPodcast #CryptoConversation #ValueAndWorth #UnpaidLabor #YogaRoots #AyurvedaWisdom #GenderBias #SocialJustice #TheArtOfFriendship #CulturalPerception #FeminineWorth #FriendshipTalk #BlockchainBeliefs #EverydayPhilosophy #VoiceAndValue</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2041915/c1e-w329b3zgnmfjr515-9jrvq7rrfoj8-cshrph.m4a" length="33195961"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the powerful concept of perceived value—from currency to careers, and friendship to self-worth.
Fawn recounts a recent conversation with a former finance professional about the legitimacy of crypto vs. the dollar, opening the door to a deeper conversation about how we assign value in society. Together, Fawn and Matt examine how gender, race, profession, and personal behavior all shape the way we are valued—or undervalued—by others.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


How perceived value affects friendship and emotional availability


The evolution of professions like teaching, cooking, and yoga


How systemic biases influence our daily lives and sense of worth


Why some people resist change, innovation, or new paradigms like cryptocurrency


Personal stories of being underestimated or misjudged


Tune in for a raw, real conversation about where value truly comes from—and how we can reframe our worth beyond societal labels.



perceived value


friendship and worth


societal value systems


crypto vs fiat currency


gender pay gap


racism and bias


undervalued professions


yoga in America


currency and belief systems


redefining value


#PerceivedValue #FriendshipMatters #RedefineWorth #CryptoVsDollar #SocialBias #ValueBeyondLabels #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #WomenInTheWorkplace #YogaAuthenticity #PodcastEpisode #FriendshipPodcast
#FriendshipPodcast #CryptoConversation #ValueAndWorth #UnpaidLabor #YogaRoots #AyurvedaWisdom #GenderBias #SocialJustice #TheArtOfFriendship #CulturalPerception #FeminineWorth #FriendshipTalk #BlockchainBeliefs #EverydayPhilosophy #VoiceAndValue]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2041915/c1a-8j1v-kp439049ugkr-krzyid.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:27:28</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Expecting Good Fortune: The Psychology of Possibility and Making Friends and Growing Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 May 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2026177</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/expecting-good-fortune-the-psychology-of-possibility-1</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>Description:</strong><br />In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Matt explores the powerful impact of expectation on our lives—from groundbreaking psychology experiments to everyday interactions. He reflects on how believing in good fortune can shape outcomes, shift perspectives, and even change how others respond to us. Through stories about self-reinvention, blind dates, and dodging potholes—literally and metaphorically—Matt shares how we can get out of our own way and start expecting the good.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>#PowerOfBelief</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#SelfFulfillingProphecy</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#MindsetMatters</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#PositiveExpectations</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#PsychologyPodcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#GrowthMindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#ExpectGoodThings</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#MattSpeaks</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#BeliefIsPower</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Pygmalion effect psychology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How beliefs shape reality</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Self-fulfilling prophecy examples</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Expectation and performance</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Positive mindset podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Belief systems and success</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Psychology of perception</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Growth mindset in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Podcast about self-belief</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Changing your mindset</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Description:In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Matt explores the powerful impact of expectation on our lives—from groundbreaking psychology experiments to everyday interactions. He reflects on how believing in good fortune can shape outcomes, shift perspectives, and even change how others respond to us. Through stories about self-reinvention, blind dates, and dodging potholes—literally and metaphorically—Matt shares how we can get out of our own way and start expecting the good.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.



#PowerOfBelief


#SelfFulfillingProphecy


#MindsetMatters


#PositiveExpectations


#PsychologyPodcast


#GrowthMindset


#ExpectGoodThings


#OurFriendlyWorld


#MattSpeaks


#BeliefIsPower




Pygmalion effect psychology


How beliefs shape reality


Self-fulfilling prophecy examples


Expectation and performance


Positive mindset podcast


Belief systems and success


Psychology of perception


Growth mindset in relationships


Podcast about self-belief


Changing your mindset


]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Expecting Good Fortune: The Psychology of Possibility and Making Friends and Growing Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>Description:</strong><br />In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Matt explores the powerful impact of expectation on our lives—from groundbreaking psychology experiments to everyday interactions. He reflects on how believing in good fortune can shape outcomes, shift perspectives, and even change how others respond to us. Through stories about self-reinvention, blind dates, and dodging potholes—literally and metaphorically—Matt shares how we can get out of our own way and start expecting the good.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>#PowerOfBelief</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#SelfFulfillingProphecy</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#MindsetMatters</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#PositiveExpectations</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#PsychologyPodcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#GrowthMindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#ExpectGoodThings</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#MattSpeaks</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>#BeliefIsPower</p>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Pygmalion effect psychology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How beliefs shape reality</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Self-fulfilling prophecy examples</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Expectation and performance</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Positive mindset podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Belief systems and success</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Psychology of perception</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Growth mindset in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Podcast about self-belief</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Changing your mindset</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2026177/c1e-q63gbdz6wna7wz27-25no056xtmw5-i37cn0.m4a" length="17969907"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Description:In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Matt explores the powerful impact of expectation on our lives—from groundbreaking psychology experiments to everyday interactions. He reflects on how believing in good fortune can shape outcomes, shift perspectives, and even change how others respond to us. Through stories about self-reinvention, blind dates, and dodging potholes—literally and metaphorically—Matt shares how we can get out of our own way and start expecting the good.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.



#PowerOfBelief


#SelfFulfillingProphecy


#MindsetMatters


#PositiveExpectations


#PsychologyPodcast


#GrowthMindset


#ExpectGoodThings


#OurFriendlyWorld


#MattSpeaks


#BeliefIsPower




Pygmalion effect psychology


How beliefs shape reality


Self-fulfilling prophecy examples


Expectation and performance


Positive mindset podcast


Belief systems and success


Psychology of perception


Growth mindset in relationships


Podcast about self-belief


Changing your mindset


]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2026177/c1a-8j1v-v6d0w6x9tzg5-tys5yw.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:14:46</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Too Tired for Opportunity: Finding Possibility Through Friendship"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 May 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2026173</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/expecting-good-fortune-the-psychology-of-possibility</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this honest and passionate episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, the conversation dives headfirst into the complexities of being open to opportunity—especially when you're tired, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode. Fawn begins in a self-proclaimed bad mood and challenges Matt’s optimistic “pithy sayings,” sparking a dynamic and revealing back-and-forth.</p>
<p>Together, they explore what it truly means to be open to possibilities and how deeply ingrained limitations—emotional, societal, financial, or cultural—can hold us back without us even realizing it. From inner "enslavement" to external isolation, they argue that the key to unlocking opportunity isn’t just about hustle or positivity—it’s about connection.</p>
<p>Friendship, they say, is the missing link. Rebuilding community and creating meaningful bonds is how we gain the power to dream, see new paths, and create change. If you’ve ever felt stuck, this episode reminds you that you're not alone—and that together, we can help each other find the courage to move forward.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></h3>
<p> friendship, survival mode, limited beliefs, emotional growth, personal development, opportunity mindset, community building, modern isolation, self-worth, connection, empowerment, support system</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipMatters #OpenToOpportunity #EmotionalGrowth #SurvivalMode #LimitedBeliefs #BuildCommunity #TogetherWeThrive #PersonalDevelopment #FindingSupport #ConnectionIsPower</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this honest and passionate episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, the conversation dives headfirst into the complexities of being open to opportunity—especially when you're tired, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode. Fawn begins in a self-proclaimed bad mood and challenges Matt’s optimistic “pithy sayings,” sparking a dynamic and revealing back-and-forth.
Together, they explore what it truly means to be open to possibilities and how deeply ingrained limitations—emotional, societal, financial, or cultural—can hold us back without us even realizing it. From inner "enslavement" to external isolation, they argue that the key to unlocking opportunity isn’t just about hustle or positivity—it’s about connection.
Friendship, they say, is the missing link. Rebuilding community and creating meaningful bonds is how we gain the power to dream, see new paths, and create change. If you’ve ever felt stuck, this episode reminds you that you're not alone—and that together, we can help each other find the courage to move forward.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
 friendship, survival mode, limited beliefs, emotional growth, personal development, opportunity mindset, community building, modern isolation, self-worth, connection, empowerment, support system
#FriendshipMatters #OpenToOpportunity #EmotionalGrowth #SurvivalMode #LimitedBeliefs #BuildCommunity #TogetherWeThrive #PersonalDevelopment #FindingSupport #ConnectionIsPower
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Too Tired for Opportunity: Finding Possibility Through Friendship"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this honest and passionate episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, the conversation dives headfirst into the complexities of being open to opportunity—especially when you're tired, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode. Fawn begins in a self-proclaimed bad mood and challenges Matt’s optimistic “pithy sayings,” sparking a dynamic and revealing back-and-forth.</p>
<p>Together, they explore what it truly means to be open to possibilities and how deeply ingrained limitations—emotional, societal, financial, or cultural—can hold us back without us even realizing it. From inner "enslavement" to external isolation, they argue that the key to unlocking opportunity isn’t just about hustle or positivity—it’s about connection.</p>
<p>Friendship, they say, is the missing link. Rebuilding community and creating meaningful bonds is how we gain the power to dream, see new paths, and create change. If you’ve ever felt stuck, this episode reminds you that you're not alone—and that together, we can help each other find the courage to move forward.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></h3>
<p> friendship, survival mode, limited beliefs, emotional growth, personal development, opportunity mindset, community building, modern isolation, self-worth, connection, empowerment, support system</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipMatters #OpenToOpportunity #EmotionalGrowth #SurvivalMode #LimitedBeliefs #BuildCommunity #TogetherWeThrive #PersonalDevelopment #FindingSupport #ConnectionIsPower</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2026173/c1e-4j0qa1nd6vcm12gw-dmzd1m11sn2-4or0ox.m4a" length="27479570"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this honest and passionate episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, the conversation dives headfirst into the complexities of being open to opportunity—especially when you're tired, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode. Fawn begins in a self-proclaimed bad mood and challenges Matt’s optimistic “pithy sayings,” sparking a dynamic and revealing back-and-forth.
Together, they explore what it truly means to be open to possibilities and how deeply ingrained limitations—emotional, societal, financial, or cultural—can hold us back without us even realizing it. From inner "enslavement" to external isolation, they argue that the key to unlocking opportunity isn’t just about hustle or positivity—it’s about connection.
Friendship, they say, is the missing link. Rebuilding community and creating meaningful bonds is how we gain the power to dream, see new paths, and create change. If you’ve ever felt stuck, this episode reminds you that you're not alone—and that together, we can help each other find the courage to move forward.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
 friendship, survival mode, limited beliefs, emotional growth, personal development, opportunity mindset, community building, modern isolation, self-worth, connection, empowerment, support system
#FriendshipMatters #OpenToOpportunity #EmotionalGrowth #SurvivalMode #LimitedBeliefs #BuildCommunity #TogetherWeThrive #PersonalDevelopment #FindingSupport #ConnectionIsPower
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2026173/c1a-8j1v-xxom7x7ja4nr-rorrmu.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:22:40</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Spiritual Purchase Order: Letting Go and Trusting the Universe to Make Lasting Friendships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 May 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2026170</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-spiritual-purchase-order-letting-go-and-trusting-the-universe</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<h3><strong></strong></h3>
<p>In this short and soulful episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the concept of a <em>purchase order</em>—not just in business, but as a spiritual tool. After offering a beautiful multimedia gift to a budding entrepreneur with no return or even acknowledgment, Fawn wrestles with feelings of resentment. With Matt’s wise words and a serendipitous message from the universe, she learns to shift the energy from expectation to liberation. Discover how writing a symbolic “purchase order” to the universe can release negative emotions and invite abundance back into your life in the most unexpected ways.</p>
<h3><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>spiritual business practices</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>letting go of resentment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>purchase order meaning</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>karma in business</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>ethical entrepreneurship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>abundance mindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>manifesting compensation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>trust the universe</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>giving without expectation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>multimedia entrepreneurship</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#LetGoAndLetGod<br />#SpiritualBusiness<br />#AbundanceMindset<br />#KarmaInBusiness<br />#UniversalLaws<br />#PurchaseOrderToTheUniverse<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#HeartCenteredEntrepreneurship<br />#GiveWithoutExpectation<br />#TrustTheProcess</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><strong>Quote:</strong><br /><em>"When you give from the heart, write a purchase order to the universe—then let it go. The return may not come from who you expect, but it will come."</em> — Fawn, <em>Our Friendly World</em></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[
In this short and soulful episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the concept of a purchase order—not just in business, but as a spiritual tool. After offering a beautiful multimedia gift to a budding entrepreneur with no return or even acknowledgment, Fawn wrestles with feelings of resentment. With Matt’s wise words and a serendipitous message from the universe, she learns to shift the energy from expectation to liberation. Discover how writing a symbolic “purchase order” to the universe can release negative emotions and invite abundance back into your life in the most unexpected ways.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


spiritual business practices


letting go of resentment


purchase order meaning


karma in business


ethical entrepreneurship


abundance mindset


manifesting compensation


trust the universe


giving without expectation


multimedia entrepreneurship



#LetGoAndLetGod#SpiritualBusiness#AbundanceMindset#KarmaInBusiness#UniversalLaws#PurchaseOrderToTheUniverse#OurFriendlyWorld#HeartCenteredEntrepreneurship#GiveWithoutExpectation#TrustTheProcess

Quote:"When you give from the heart, write a purchase order to the universe—then let it go. The return may not come from who you expect, but it will come." — Fawn, Our Friendly World]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Spiritual Purchase Order: Letting Go and Trusting the Universe to Make Lasting Friendships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<h3><strong></strong></h3>
<p>In this short and soulful episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the concept of a <em>purchase order</em>—not just in business, but as a spiritual tool. After offering a beautiful multimedia gift to a budding entrepreneur with no return or even acknowledgment, Fawn wrestles with feelings of resentment. With Matt’s wise words and a serendipitous message from the universe, she learns to shift the energy from expectation to liberation. Discover how writing a symbolic “purchase order” to the universe can release negative emotions and invite abundance back into your life in the most unexpected ways.</p>
<h3><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>spiritual business practices</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>letting go of resentment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>purchase order meaning</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>karma in business</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>ethical entrepreneurship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>abundance mindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>manifesting compensation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>trust the universe</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>giving without expectation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>multimedia entrepreneurship</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#LetGoAndLetGod<br />#SpiritualBusiness<br />#AbundanceMindset<br />#KarmaInBusiness<br />#UniversalLaws<br />#PurchaseOrderToTheUniverse<br />#OurFriendlyWorld<br />#HeartCenteredEntrepreneurship<br />#GiveWithoutExpectation<br />#TrustTheProcess</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><strong>Quote:</strong><br /><em>"When you give from the heart, write a purchase order to the universe—then let it go. The return may not come from who you expect, but it will come."</em> — Fawn, <em>Our Friendly World</em></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2026170/c1e-4j0qa1nd6wsm1g3o-rk4o2oq7hxzk-gl1pdk.m4a" length="11152831"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[
In this short and soulful episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the concept of a purchase order—not just in business, but as a spiritual tool. After offering a beautiful multimedia gift to a budding entrepreneur with no return or even acknowledgment, Fawn wrestles with feelings of resentment. With Matt’s wise words and a serendipitous message from the universe, she learns to shift the energy from expectation to liberation. Discover how writing a symbolic “purchase order” to the universe can release negative emotions and invite abundance back into your life in the most unexpected ways.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


spiritual business practices


letting go of resentment


purchase order meaning


karma in business


ethical entrepreneurship


abundance mindset


manifesting compensation


trust the universe


giving without expectation


multimedia entrepreneurship



#LetGoAndLetGod#SpiritualBusiness#AbundanceMindset#KarmaInBusiness#UniversalLaws#PurchaseOrderToTheUniverse#OurFriendlyWorld#HeartCenteredEntrepreneurship#GiveWithoutExpectation#TrustTheProcess

Quote:"When you give from the heart, write a purchase order to the universe—then let it go. The return may not come from who you expect, but it will come." — Fawn, Our Friendly World]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2026170/c1a-8j1v-0vk494w6fm6v-mz1brt.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:09:20</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Friendship and Reclaiming Power: From Road Trips to Fart Rays]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 May 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2017297</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/reclaiming-power-from-road-trips-to-fart-rays</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn opens up about a quiet moment on a road trip that sparked a deep realization — are we always trying to <em>get</em> something from life, or can we instead <em>offer</em> something to the world around us? This thought leads to a bigger discussion about what true power looks like, especially in times when we feel stripped of it — whether in the workplace, society, or even in friendships.</p>
<p>Matt shares how he reclaims power at work by actively managing relationships with his bosses, while Fawn reflects on shifting from fear-based living to empowered presence. Together, they explore ways to restore personal strength through meditation, humor, grounding, and even novelty items like a toy fart ray and a "no-button."</p>
<p>From the serious to the silly, this episode reminds us that power can be reclaimed in both grand and simple ways — and that offering, rather than taking, may be one of the most powerful acts of all.</p>
<h3><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>reclaiming personal power</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and empowerment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindful living</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>setting boundaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>workplace dynamics</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>power in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-awareness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>grounding techniques</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>healing through humor</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>meditation and empowerment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-reflection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>finding strength</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>connection and community</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#PodcastLife<br />#EmpowerYourself<br />#ReclaimYourPower<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#AuthenticConnections<br />#MindfulLiving<br />#EmotionalWellness<br />#SelfAwarenessJourney<br />#InnerStrength<br />#PowerOfReflection</p>
<p>#WorkplaceWisdom<br />#ProfessionalBoundaries<br />#OwnYourPower<br />#SpeakUpAtWork<br />#HealthyWorkCulture<br />#ManageUp</p>
<h4>#Healing &amp; Grounding</h4>
<p>#HealingTools<br />#GroundingPractice<br />#Earthing<br />#MeditationTime<br />#MusicTherapy<br />#NatureHeals</p>
<h4>#Humor &amp; Relatability</h4>
<p>#LaughterHeals<br />#FartRayPower<br />#HumorIsHealing<br />#SillyButStrong</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn opens up about a quiet moment on a road trip that sparked a deep realization — are we always trying to get something from life, or can we instead offer something to the world around us? This thought leads to a bigger discussion about what true power looks like, especially in times when we feel stripped of it — whether in the workplace, society, or even in friendships.
Matt shares how he reclaims power at work by actively managing relationships with his bosses, while Fawn reflects on shifting from fear-based living to empowered presence. Together, they explore ways to restore personal strength through meditation, humor, grounding, and even novelty items like a toy fart ray and a "no-button."
From the serious to the silly, this episode reminds us that power can be reclaimed in both grand and simple ways — and that offering, rather than taking, may be one of the most powerful acts of all.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


reclaiming personal power


friendship and empowerment


mindful living


setting boundaries


workplace dynamics


emotional resilience


power in relationships


self-awareness


grounding techniques


healing through humor


meditation and empowerment


self-reflection


finding strength


connection and community



#PodcastLife#EmpowerYourself#ReclaimYourPower#FriendshipMatters#AuthenticConnections#MindfulLiving#EmotionalWellness#SelfAwarenessJourney#InnerStrength#PowerOfReflection
#WorkplaceWisdom#ProfessionalBoundaries#OwnYourPower#SpeakUpAtWork#HealthyWorkCulture#ManageUp
#Healing & Grounding
#HealingTools#GroundingPractice#Earthing#MeditationTime#MusicTherapy#NatureHeals
#Humor & Relatability
#LaughterHeals#FartRayPower#HumorIsHealing#SillyButStrong
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Friendship and Reclaiming Power: From Road Trips to Fart Rays]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn opens up about a quiet moment on a road trip that sparked a deep realization — are we always trying to <em>get</em> something from life, or can we instead <em>offer</em> something to the world around us? This thought leads to a bigger discussion about what true power looks like, especially in times when we feel stripped of it — whether in the workplace, society, or even in friendships.</p>
<p>Matt shares how he reclaims power at work by actively managing relationships with his bosses, while Fawn reflects on shifting from fear-based living to empowered presence. Together, they explore ways to restore personal strength through meditation, humor, grounding, and even novelty items like a toy fart ray and a "no-button."</p>
<p>From the serious to the silly, this episode reminds us that power can be reclaimed in both grand and simple ways — and that offering, rather than taking, may be one of the most powerful acts of all.</p>
<h3><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>reclaiming personal power</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and empowerment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindful living</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>setting boundaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>workplace dynamics</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>power in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-awareness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>grounding techniques</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>healing through humor</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>meditation and empowerment</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-reflection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>finding strength</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>connection and community</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#PodcastLife<br />#EmpowerYourself<br />#ReclaimYourPower<br />#FriendshipMatters<br />#AuthenticConnections<br />#MindfulLiving<br />#EmotionalWellness<br />#SelfAwarenessJourney<br />#InnerStrength<br />#PowerOfReflection</p>
<p>#WorkplaceWisdom<br />#ProfessionalBoundaries<br />#OwnYourPower<br />#SpeakUpAtWork<br />#HealthyWorkCulture<br />#ManageUp</p>
<h4>#Healing &amp; Grounding</h4>
<p>#HealingTools<br />#GroundingPractice<br />#Earthing<br />#MeditationTime<br />#MusicTherapy<br />#NatureHeals</p>
<h4>#Humor &amp; Relatability</h4>
<p>#LaughterHeals<br />#FartRayPower<br />#HumorIsHealing<br />#SillyButStrong</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2017297/c1e-5jn4a1n21nsr7kkd-25n43wmphm1m-m27puh.m4a" length="31330983"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn opens up about a quiet moment on a road trip that sparked a deep realization — are we always trying to get something from life, or can we instead offer something to the world around us? This thought leads to a bigger discussion about what true power looks like, especially in times when we feel stripped of it — whether in the workplace, society, or even in friendships.
Matt shares how he reclaims power at work by actively managing relationships with his bosses, while Fawn reflects on shifting from fear-based living to empowered presence. Together, they explore ways to restore personal strength through meditation, humor, grounding, and even novelty items like a toy fart ray and a "no-button."
From the serious to the silly, this episode reminds us that power can be reclaimed in both grand and simple ways — and that offering, rather than taking, may be one of the most powerful acts of all.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


reclaiming personal power


friendship and empowerment


mindful living


setting boundaries


workplace dynamics


emotional resilience


power in relationships


self-awareness


grounding techniques


healing through humor


meditation and empowerment


self-reflection


finding strength


connection and community



#PodcastLife#EmpowerYourself#ReclaimYourPower#FriendshipMatters#AuthenticConnections#MindfulLiving#EmotionalWellness#SelfAwarenessJourney#InnerStrength#PowerOfReflection
#WorkplaceWisdom#ProfessionalBoundaries#OwnYourPower#SpeakUpAtWork#HealthyWorkCulture#ManageUp
#Healing & Grounding
#HealingTools#GroundingPractice#Earthing#MeditationTime#MusicTherapy#NatureHeals
#Humor & Relatability
#LaughterHeals#FartRayPower#HumorIsHealing#SillyButStrong
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2017297/c1a-8j1v-34d79wmqt7zx-ncrg5e.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:02</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Timeless: Surfing the Swirl of a Rapid Reality Within Friendships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Apr 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2014014</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/timeless-surfing-the-swirl-of-a-rapid-reality</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Is time speeding up, or are we just busier than ever? In this short but deep episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the mysterious sensation that time is slipping through our fingers. From conversations that fly by in an instant to childhood memories that feel strangely recent, Fawn shares her intuitive sense that something much bigger might be happening—a spiritual or quantum shift in how we experience time.</p>
<p>Matt offers a more grounded perspective, diving into how multitasking and modern life might be contributing to our sense of time distortion. The result is a heartfelt, funny, and slightly philosophical conversation about aging, staying flexible (in body and mind!), and learning to go with the flow—even when life feels like a fast-moving current.</p>
<p>Whether you're a Trekkie, a time skeptic, or just someone who wonders where the week went, this episode invites you to reflect, stay chill, and ride the wave of now.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>time perception</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>why time feels faster</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>time is speeding up</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>quantum time shift</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>spiritual shift in time</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>go with the flow mindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to stay flexible with age</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindfulness and time</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>time distortion phenomenon</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fawn and Matt podcast</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#TimeIsWeird #GoWithTheFlow #Timeless #QuantumTime #SpiritualShift #Mindfulness #StayFlexible #FawnAndMatt #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastWisdom #TimePerception #TimeShift</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Is time speeding up, or are we just busier than ever? In this short but deep episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the mysterious sensation that time is slipping through our fingers. From conversations that fly by in an instant to childhood memories that feel strangely recent, Fawn shares her intuitive sense that something much bigger might be happening—a spiritual or quantum shift in how we experience time.
Matt offers a more grounded perspective, diving into how multitasking and modern life might be contributing to our sense of time distortion. The result is a heartfelt, funny, and slightly philosophical conversation about aging, staying flexible (in body and mind!), and learning to go with the flow—even when life feels like a fast-moving current.
Whether you're a Trekkie, a time skeptic, or just someone who wonders where the week went, this episode invites you to reflect, stay chill, and ride the wave of now.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


time perception


why time feels faster


time is speeding up


quantum time shift


spiritual shift in time


go with the flow mindset


how to stay flexible with age


mindfulness and time


time distortion phenomenon


Fawn and Matt podcast



#TimeIsWeird #GoWithTheFlow #Timeless #QuantumTime #SpiritualShift #Mindfulness #StayFlexible #FawnAndMatt #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastWisdom #TimePerception #TimeShift
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Timeless: Surfing the Swirl of a Rapid Reality Within Friendships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Is time speeding up, or are we just busier than ever? In this short but deep episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the mysterious sensation that time is slipping through our fingers. From conversations that fly by in an instant to childhood memories that feel strangely recent, Fawn shares her intuitive sense that something much bigger might be happening—a spiritual or quantum shift in how we experience time.</p>
<p>Matt offers a more grounded perspective, diving into how multitasking and modern life might be contributing to our sense of time distortion. The result is a heartfelt, funny, and slightly philosophical conversation about aging, staying flexible (in body and mind!), and learning to go with the flow—even when life feels like a fast-moving current.</p>
<p>Whether you're a Trekkie, a time skeptic, or just someone who wonders where the week went, this episode invites you to reflect, stay chill, and ride the wave of now.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>time perception</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>why time feels faster</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>time is speeding up</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>quantum time shift</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>spiritual shift in time</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>go with the flow mindset</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how to stay flexible with age</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindfulness and time</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>time distortion phenomenon</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fawn and Matt podcast</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#TimeIsWeird #GoWithTheFlow #Timeless #QuantumTime #SpiritualShift #Mindfulness #StayFlexible #FawnAndMatt #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastWisdom #TimePerception #TimeShift</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2014014/c1e-3jrvak37gkum5x58-jpd29j51frnq-fgzafz.m4a" length="13915194"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Is time speeding up, or are we just busier than ever? In this short but deep episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the mysterious sensation that time is slipping through our fingers. From conversations that fly by in an instant to childhood memories that feel strangely recent, Fawn shares her intuitive sense that something much bigger might be happening—a spiritual or quantum shift in how we experience time.
Matt offers a more grounded perspective, diving into how multitasking and modern life might be contributing to our sense of time distortion. The result is a heartfelt, funny, and slightly philosophical conversation about aging, staying flexible (in body and mind!), and learning to go with the flow—even when life feels like a fast-moving current.
Whether you're a Trekkie, a time skeptic, or just someone who wonders where the week went, this episode invites you to reflect, stay chill, and ride the wave of now.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


time perception


why time feels faster


time is speeding up


quantum time shift


spiritual shift in time


go with the flow mindset


how to stay flexible with age


mindfulness and time


time distortion phenomenon


Fawn and Matt podcast



#TimeIsWeird #GoWithTheFlow #Timeless #QuantumTime #SpiritualShift #Mindfulness #StayFlexible #FawnAndMatt #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastWisdom #TimePerception #TimeShift
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2014014/c1a-8j1v-jpd29j55c5o1-9qiqbt.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:11:27</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Revisiting the Art of Friendship: Core Values, Disappointments, and Growth”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Apr 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2013744</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/revisiting-friendship-core-values-disappointments-and-growth</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This week, we explore the evolving nature of friendship—especially during times of uncertainty and change. Fawn opens up about feeling emotionally stuck and questioning the effort it takes to maintain friendships, while Matt reflects on the foundational values that sustain meaningful relationships. Together, they revisit a list of core friendship values like trust, honesty, empathy, and growth. The conversation unpacks the complexities of setting expectations, the sting of misunderstanding, and how contrast in relationships can offer clarity. Whether you're navigating a friend breakup, redefining your boundaries, or just feeling disheartened, this episode offers a compassionate space to reflect on what we truly want from our connections.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipValues #EmotionalGrowth #NavigatingFriendship #HonestConversations #CoreValues #FriendshipBreakup #PersonalGrowthJourney #RelationshipBoundaries #TrustAndEmpathy #FriendshipPodcast #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #HealingThroughConnection #FriendshipStruggles #BuildingMeaningfulConnections</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><em>"Sometimes the contrast is what shows you what matters most in a friendship—what you're willing to grow for, and what you're not willing to accept anymore."</em><br />— Fawn, <em>Our Friendly World</em></p>
<p><br />Have you ever felt disheartened in a friendship? This week, Fawn and Matt revisit what really matters in relationships—from trust and empathy to the courage it takes to let go. Join us for a raw, compassionate conversation about friendship, growth, and clarity.<br />Listen now to <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em> <br />#FriendshipValues #HealingThroughConnection #OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week, we explore the evolving nature of friendship—especially during times of uncertainty and change. Fawn opens up about feeling emotionally stuck and questioning the effort it takes to maintain friendships, while Matt reflects on the foundational values that sustain meaningful relationships. Together, they revisit a list of core friendship values like trust, honesty, empathy, and growth. The conversation unpacks the complexities of setting expectations, the sting of misunderstanding, and how contrast in relationships can offer clarity. Whether you're navigating a friend breakup, redefining your boundaries, or just feeling disheartened, this episode offers a compassionate space to reflect on what we truly want from our connections.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#FriendshipValues #EmotionalGrowth #NavigatingFriendship #HonestConversations #CoreValues #FriendshipBreakup #PersonalGrowthJourney #RelationshipBoundaries #TrustAndEmpathy #FriendshipPodcast #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #HealingThroughConnection #FriendshipStruggles #BuildingMeaningfulConnections

"Sometimes the contrast is what shows you what matters most in a friendship—what you're willing to grow for, and what you're not willing to accept anymore."— Fawn, Our Friendly World
Have you ever felt disheartened in a friendship? This week, Fawn and Matt revisit what really matters in relationships—from trust and empathy to the courage it takes to let go. Join us for a raw, compassionate conversation about friendship, growth, and clarity.Listen now to Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt #FriendshipValues #HealingThroughConnection #OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Revisiting the Art of Friendship: Core Values, Disappointments, and Growth”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This week, we explore the evolving nature of friendship—especially during times of uncertainty and change. Fawn opens up about feeling emotionally stuck and questioning the effort it takes to maintain friendships, while Matt reflects on the foundational values that sustain meaningful relationships. Together, they revisit a list of core friendship values like trust, honesty, empathy, and growth. The conversation unpacks the complexities of setting expectations, the sting of misunderstanding, and how contrast in relationships can offer clarity. Whether you're navigating a friend breakup, redefining your boundaries, or just feeling disheartened, this episode offers a compassionate space to reflect on what we truly want from our connections.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipValues #EmotionalGrowth #NavigatingFriendship #HonestConversations #CoreValues #FriendshipBreakup #PersonalGrowthJourney #RelationshipBoundaries #TrustAndEmpathy #FriendshipPodcast #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #HealingThroughConnection #FriendshipStruggles #BuildingMeaningfulConnections</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><em>"Sometimes the contrast is what shows you what matters most in a friendship—what you're willing to grow for, and what you're not willing to accept anymore."</em><br />— Fawn, <em>Our Friendly World</em></p>
<p><br />Have you ever felt disheartened in a friendship? This week, Fawn and Matt revisit what really matters in relationships—from trust and empathy to the courage it takes to let go. Join us for a raw, compassionate conversation about friendship, growth, and clarity.<br />Listen now to <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em> <br />#FriendshipValues #HealingThroughConnection #OurFriendlyWorld</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2013744/c1e-g6g1bmgdx4uxm5kx-5zx17mzxi19p-u9h7xw.m4a" length="26408579"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week, we explore the evolving nature of friendship—especially during times of uncertainty and change. Fawn opens up about feeling emotionally stuck and questioning the effort it takes to maintain friendships, while Matt reflects on the foundational values that sustain meaningful relationships. Together, they revisit a list of core friendship values like trust, honesty, empathy, and growth. The conversation unpacks the complexities of setting expectations, the sting of misunderstanding, and how contrast in relationships can offer clarity. Whether you're navigating a friend breakup, redefining your boundaries, or just feeling disheartened, this episode offers a compassionate space to reflect on what we truly want from our connections.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#FriendshipValues #EmotionalGrowth #NavigatingFriendship #HonestConversations #CoreValues #FriendshipBreakup #PersonalGrowthJourney #RelationshipBoundaries #TrustAndEmpathy #FriendshipPodcast #OurFriendlyWorld #FawnAndMatt #HealingThroughConnection #FriendshipStruggles #BuildingMeaningfulConnections

"Sometimes the contrast is what shows you what matters most in a friendship—what you're willing to grow for, and what you're not willing to accept anymore."— Fawn, Our Friendly World
Have you ever felt disheartened in a friendship? This week, Fawn and Matt revisit what really matters in relationships—from trust and empathy to the courage it takes to let go. Join us for a raw, compassionate conversation about friendship, growth, and clarity.Listen now to Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt #FriendshipValues #HealingThroughConnection #OurFriendlyWorld]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2013744/c1a-8j1v-ndnox2dza4w5-bnsrz4.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:47</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["What Is Cool, Really? How Does this Concept Change Friendship"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Apr 2025 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2012539</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/what-is-cool-really</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this podcast on the art of friendship, and within this candid and fiery episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt deconstruct the elusive concept of “cool” — from childhood memories of Snoopy’s Joe Cool to painful moments of judgment in adulthood. Fawn opens up about a recent voiceover experience that triggered old wounds from the photography world, where she was dismissed for not being “cool enough.” The conversation dives into how perceptions of coolness limit friendships, fuel imposter syndrome, and distort how we see ourselves and others. Matt shares his own vulnerable moment of thinking Fawn was "too cool" for him — and how love, presence, and humanity break through those false beliefs.<br />This is a raw, empowering episode that challenges societal norms, reclaims identity, and reminds us all that cool can't be defined — because authenticity is the real power.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>what is cool</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>defining coolness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>authenticity vs image</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>voiceover industry stories</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>art world rejection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>imposter syndrome</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>personal growth podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>breaking stereotypes</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and identity</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>podcast about belonging</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>redefining beauty and worth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>our friendly world podcast</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#WhatIsCool #AuthenticityMatters #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastCommunity #VoiceoverLife #RedefineCool #InnerStrength #ArtWorldStories #ImposterSyndrome #BeYourself #HealingThroughConversation #RealTalkPodcast #BreakingStereotypes #FriendshipGoals #CoolnessIsSubjective #PodcastAboutLife #EmpathyAndGrowth</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this podcast on the art of friendship, and within this candid and fiery episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt deconstruct the elusive concept of “cool” — from childhood memories of Snoopy’s Joe Cool to painful moments of judgment in adulthood. Fawn opens up about a recent voiceover experience that triggered old wounds from the photography world, where she was dismissed for not being “cool enough.” The conversation dives into how perceptions of coolness limit friendships, fuel imposter syndrome, and distort how we see ourselves and others. Matt shares his own vulnerable moment of thinking Fawn was "too cool" for him — and how love, presence, and humanity break through those false beliefs.This is a raw, empowering episode that challenges societal norms, reclaims identity, and reminds us all that cool can't be defined — because authenticity is the real power.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.



what is cool


defining coolness


authenticity vs image


voiceover industry stories


art world rejection


imposter syndrome


personal growth podcast


breaking stereotypes


emotional resilience


friendship and identity


podcast about belonging


redefining beauty and worth


our friendly world podcast


#WhatIsCool #AuthenticityMatters #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastCommunity #VoiceoverLife #RedefineCool #InnerStrength #ArtWorldStories #ImposterSyndrome #BeYourself #HealingThroughConversation #RealTalkPodcast #BreakingStereotypes #FriendshipGoals #CoolnessIsSubjective #PodcastAboutLife #EmpathyAndGrowth
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["What Is Cool, Really? How Does this Concept Change Friendship"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this podcast on the art of friendship, and within this candid and fiery episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, Fawn and Matt deconstruct the elusive concept of “cool” — from childhood memories of Snoopy’s Joe Cool to painful moments of judgment in adulthood. Fawn opens up about a recent voiceover experience that triggered old wounds from the photography world, where she was dismissed for not being “cool enough.” The conversation dives into how perceptions of coolness limit friendships, fuel imposter syndrome, and distort how we see ourselves and others. Matt shares his own vulnerable moment of thinking Fawn was "too cool" for him — and how love, presence, and humanity break through those false beliefs.<br />This is a raw, empowering episode that challenges societal norms, reclaims identity, and reminds us all that cool can't be defined — because authenticity is the real power.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>what is cool</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>defining coolness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>authenticity vs image</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>voiceover industry stories</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>art world rejection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>imposter syndrome</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>personal growth podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>breaking stereotypes</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>emotional resilience</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and identity</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>podcast about belonging</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>redefining beauty and worth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>our friendly world podcast</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#WhatIsCool #AuthenticityMatters #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastCommunity #VoiceoverLife #RedefineCool #InnerStrength #ArtWorldStories #ImposterSyndrome #BeYourself #HealingThroughConversation #RealTalkPodcast #BreakingStereotypes #FriendshipGoals #CoolnessIsSubjective #PodcastAboutLife #EmpathyAndGrowth</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2012539/c1e-z08ns721qksq98j4-pk4gw35vcp01-ugwqs2.m4a" length="25857595"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this podcast on the art of friendship, and within this candid and fiery episode of Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt deconstruct the elusive concept of “cool” — from childhood memories of Snoopy’s Joe Cool to painful moments of judgment in adulthood. Fawn opens up about a recent voiceover experience that triggered old wounds from the photography world, where she was dismissed for not being “cool enough.” The conversation dives into how perceptions of coolness limit friendships, fuel imposter syndrome, and distort how we see ourselves and others. Matt shares his own vulnerable moment of thinking Fawn was "too cool" for him — and how love, presence, and humanity break through those false beliefs.This is a raw, empowering episode that challenges societal norms, reclaims identity, and reminds us all that cool can't be defined — because authenticity is the real power.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.



what is cool


defining coolness


authenticity vs image


voiceover industry stories


art world rejection


imposter syndrome


personal growth podcast


breaking stereotypes


emotional resilience


friendship and identity


podcast about belonging


redefining beauty and worth


our friendly world podcast


#WhatIsCool #AuthenticityMatters #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastCommunity #VoiceoverLife #RedefineCool #InnerStrength #ArtWorldStories #ImposterSyndrome #BeYourself #HealingThroughConversation #RealTalkPodcast #BreakingStereotypes #FriendshipGoals #CoolnessIsSubjective #PodcastAboutLife #EmpathyAndGrowth
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2012539/c1a-8j1v-v6d2wg5wh86q-mam7ih.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:20</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Through the Lens: How We See Ourselves, Each Other and How We See Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Apr 2025 05:39:20 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2007681</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/through-the-lens-how-we-see-ourselves-and-each-other</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>Through the Lens: How We See Ourselves and Each Other</strong></p>
<p><br />Why do we cringe at the sound of our own voice or shy away from being photographed? In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the emotional and psychological layers behind self-perception and how we interpret one another. From the science of hearing your voice through bone and muscle to the deeply spiritual experience of being seen—truly seen—through a camera lens, this episode invites listeners to question the filters we all carry. Fawn shares vulnerable stories from her journey as a photographer and voice actor, revealing how intention, empathy, and awareness can shift how we show up in the world and connect with others. Join the conversation on how perception shapes reality—and friendship.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt unpack the emotional complexity behind how we perceive ourselves—through voice, photographs, and the often-invisible space in between. From the discomfort of hearing your own voice to the shock of seeing yourself in a photo, Fawn shares deeply personal experiences as a professional photographer and communicator. The conversation explores how filters—emotional, cultural, and even spiritual—affect not just how we see others, but how we interpret what they project. Together, Fawn and Matt dive into the unseen universes between people, shedding light on empathy, identity, and the art of truly seeing. A powerful reflection on presence, authenticity, and how being mindful of the “in-between” can reshape our relationships and the world around us.</p>
<p><br />self-perception, sound of your voice, why we hate our voice, being photographed, voice actor insight, photography and emotion, how others see us, friendship and self-image, perception and reality, emotional awareness, storytelling through photography, authenticity, vulnerability, ego and identity, mindful communication</p>
<p><br />#SelfPerception #Authenticity #VoiceAwareness #PhotographyWithHeart #MindfulCommunication #PerceptionVsReality #EmotionalIntelligence #BeSeenBeHeard #FriendshipMatters #VulnerabilityIsStrength #ThroughTheLens #ConsciousCreativity #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastWisdom #VoiceActorLife</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>perception and identity</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>why we hate our voice</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>fear of being photographed</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>authenticity and self-awareness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>voice perception psychology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>photography and emotional truth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindful communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>seeing others clearly</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>empathy and human connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how we perceive ourselves</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fawn and Matt podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and presence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>artistic interpretation in photography</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-image vs. external image</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#PerceptionMatters<br />#SelfImage<br />#VoiceAwareness<br />#PhotographyAndEmotion<br />#HumanConnection<br />#AuthenticityInFriendship<br />#MindfulLiving<br />#EmpathyInAction<br />#SeeBeyondTheSurface<br />#PodcastOnPresence<br />#FawnAndMatt<br />#ArtOfFriendship<br />#PodcastEpisode<br />#SelfAwarenessJourney</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>“There are entire universes happening between the lens and the subject—what we see isn’t always what <em>is</em>.” – Fawn</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Through the Lens: How We See Ourselves and Each Other
Why do we cringe at the sound of our own voice or shy away from being photographed? In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the emotional and psychological layers behind self-perception and how we interpret one another. From the science of hearing your voice through bone and muscle to the deeply spiritual experience of being seen—truly seen—through a camera lens, this episode invites listeners to question the filters we all carry. Fawn shares vulnerable stories from her journey as a photographer and voice actor, revealing how intention, empathy, and awareness can shift how we show up in the world and connect with others. Join the conversation on how perception shapes reality—and friendship.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Fawn and Matt unpack the emotional complexity behind how we perceive ourselves—through voice, photographs, and the often-invisible space in between. From the discomfort of hearing your own voice to the shock of seeing yourself in a photo, Fawn shares deeply personal experiences as a professional photographer and communicator. The conversation explores how filters—emotional, cultural, and even spiritual—affect not just how we see others, but how we interpret what they project. Together, Fawn and Matt dive into the unseen universes between people, shedding light on empathy, identity, and the art of truly seeing. A powerful reflection on presence, authenticity, and how being mindful of the “in-between” can reshape our relationships and the world around us.
self-perception, sound of your voice, why we hate our voice, being photographed, voice actor insight, photography and emotion, how others see us, friendship and self-image, perception and reality, emotional awareness, storytelling through photography, authenticity, vulnerability, ego and identity, mindful communication
#SelfPerception #Authenticity #VoiceAwareness #PhotographyWithHeart #MindfulCommunication #PerceptionVsReality #EmotionalIntelligence #BeSeenBeHeard #FriendshipMatters #VulnerabilityIsStrength #ThroughTheLens #ConsciousCreativity #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastWisdom #VoiceActorLife




perception and identity


why we hate our voice


fear of being photographed


authenticity and self-awareness


voice perception psychology


photography and emotional truth


mindful communication


seeing others clearly


empathy and human connection


how we perceive ourselves


Fawn and Matt podcast


friendship and presence


artistic interpretation in photography


self-image vs. external image



#PerceptionMatters#SelfImage#VoiceAwareness#PhotographyAndEmotion#HumanConnection#AuthenticityInFriendship#MindfulLiving#EmpathyInAction#SeeBeyondTheSurface#PodcastOnPresence#FawnAndMatt#ArtOfFriendship#PodcastEpisode#SelfAwarenessJourney

“There are entire universes happening between the lens and the subject—what we see isn’t always what is.” – Fawn
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Through the Lens: How We See Ourselves, Each Other and How We See Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>Through the Lens: How We See Ourselves and Each Other</strong></p>
<p><br />Why do we cringe at the sound of our own voice or shy away from being photographed? In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the emotional and psychological layers behind self-perception and how we interpret one another. From the science of hearing your voice through bone and muscle to the deeply spiritual experience of being seen—truly seen—through a camera lens, this episode invites listeners to question the filters we all carry. Fawn shares vulnerable stories from her journey as a photographer and voice actor, revealing how intention, empathy, and awareness can shift how we show up in the world and connect with others. Join the conversation on how perception shapes reality—and friendship.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt unpack the emotional complexity behind how we perceive ourselves—through voice, photographs, and the often-invisible space in between. From the discomfort of hearing your own voice to the shock of seeing yourself in a photo, Fawn shares deeply personal experiences as a professional photographer and communicator. The conversation explores how filters—emotional, cultural, and even spiritual—affect not just how we see others, but how we interpret what they project. Together, Fawn and Matt dive into the unseen universes between people, shedding light on empathy, identity, and the art of truly seeing. A powerful reflection on presence, authenticity, and how being mindful of the “in-between” can reshape our relationships and the world around us.</p>
<p><br />self-perception, sound of your voice, why we hate our voice, being photographed, voice actor insight, photography and emotion, how others see us, friendship and self-image, perception and reality, emotional awareness, storytelling through photography, authenticity, vulnerability, ego and identity, mindful communication</p>
<p><br />#SelfPerception #Authenticity #VoiceAwareness #PhotographyWithHeart #MindfulCommunication #PerceptionVsReality #EmotionalIntelligence #BeSeenBeHeard #FriendshipMatters #VulnerabilityIsStrength #ThroughTheLens #ConsciousCreativity #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastWisdom #VoiceActorLife</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>perception and identity</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>why we hate our voice</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>fear of being photographed</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>authenticity and self-awareness</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>voice perception psychology</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>photography and emotional truth</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>mindful communication</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>seeing others clearly</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>empathy and human connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>how we perceive ourselves</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fawn and Matt podcast</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>friendship and presence</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>artistic interpretation in photography</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>self-image vs. external image</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#PerceptionMatters<br />#SelfImage<br />#VoiceAwareness<br />#PhotographyAndEmotion<br />#HumanConnection<br />#AuthenticityInFriendship<br />#MindfulLiving<br />#EmpathyInAction<br />#SeeBeyondTheSurface<br />#PodcastOnPresence<br />#FawnAndMatt<br />#ArtOfFriendship<br />#PodcastEpisode<br />#SelfAwarenessJourney</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>“There are entire universes happening between the lens and the subject—what we see isn’t always what <em>is</em>.” – Fawn</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2007681/c1e-k6v3bgzj7qs2vqp3-6zodr23nb197-7hypoq.m4a" length="22551796"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Through the Lens: How We See Ourselves and Each Other
Why do we cringe at the sound of our own voice or shy away from being photographed? In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the emotional and psychological layers behind self-perception and how we interpret one another. From the science of hearing your voice through bone and muscle to the deeply spiritual experience of being seen—truly seen—through a camera lens, this episode invites listeners to question the filters we all carry. Fawn shares vulnerable stories from her journey as a photographer and voice actor, revealing how intention, empathy, and awareness can shift how we show up in the world and connect with others. Join the conversation on how perception shapes reality—and friendship.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Fawn and Matt unpack the emotional complexity behind how we perceive ourselves—through voice, photographs, and the often-invisible space in between. From the discomfort of hearing your own voice to the shock of seeing yourself in a photo, Fawn shares deeply personal experiences as a professional photographer and communicator. The conversation explores how filters—emotional, cultural, and even spiritual—affect not just how we see others, but how we interpret what they project. Together, Fawn and Matt dive into the unseen universes between people, shedding light on empathy, identity, and the art of truly seeing. A powerful reflection on presence, authenticity, and how being mindful of the “in-between” can reshape our relationships and the world around us.
self-perception, sound of your voice, why we hate our voice, being photographed, voice actor insight, photography and emotion, how others see us, friendship and self-image, perception and reality, emotional awareness, storytelling through photography, authenticity, vulnerability, ego and identity, mindful communication
#SelfPerception #Authenticity #VoiceAwareness #PhotographyWithHeart #MindfulCommunication #PerceptionVsReality #EmotionalIntelligence #BeSeenBeHeard #FriendshipMatters #VulnerabilityIsStrength #ThroughTheLens #ConsciousCreativity #OurFriendlyWorld #PodcastWisdom #VoiceActorLife




perception and identity


why we hate our voice


fear of being photographed


authenticity and self-awareness


voice perception psychology


photography and emotional truth


mindful communication


seeing others clearly


empathy and human connection


how we perceive ourselves


Fawn and Matt podcast


friendship and presence


artistic interpretation in photography


self-image vs. external image



#PerceptionMatters#SelfImage#VoiceAwareness#PhotographyAndEmotion#HumanConnection#AuthenticityInFriendship#MindfulLiving#EmpathyInAction#SeeBeyondTheSurface#PodcastOnPresence#FawnAndMatt#ArtOfFriendship#PodcastEpisode#SelfAwarenessJourney

“There are entire universes happening between the lens and the subject—what we see isn’t always what is.” – Fawn
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2007681/c1a-8j1v-7z340d9vigjo-6ctjru.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:18:43</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The University Vibe: Why Some Communities  and Friendships Thrive More Than Others]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 31 Mar 2025 04:12:45 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/2004123</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-university-vibe-why-some-communities-thrive-more-than-others</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>Title: The University Vibe: Why Some Communities Thrive More Than Others</strong></p>
<p>Why do cities with universities feel more vibrant, open, and thriving? In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore how constant learning, new connections, and fresh energy shape these communities—and why we should embrace this mindset everywhere. They also dive into the lost art of in-person communication, the impact of talking on the phone versus texting, and how small changes in how we interact can create a richer, more connected world. Tune in for a lively discussion on friendships, business, and building thriving communities—no degree required!</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br />#CommunityBuilding #LifelongLearning #UniversityVibes #ThrivingCommunities #FriendshipMatters #OpenMindedLiving #TalkingOnThePhone #HumanConnection #KeepLearning #SocialConnection #Networking #CollegeTownEnergy</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Title: The University Vibe: Why Some Communities Thrive More Than Others
Why do cities with universities feel more vibrant, open, and thriving? In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore how constant learning, new connections, and fresh energy shape these communities—and why we should embrace this mindset everywhere. They also dive into the lost art of in-person communication, the impact of talking on the phone versus texting, and how small changes in how we interact can create a richer, more connected world. Tune in for a lively discussion on friendships, business, and building thriving communities—no degree required!
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.#CommunityBuilding #LifelongLearning #UniversityVibes #ThrivingCommunities #FriendshipMatters #OpenMindedLiving #TalkingOnThePhone #HumanConnection #KeepLearning #SocialConnection #Networking #CollegeTownEnergy]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The University Vibe: Why Some Communities  and Friendships Thrive More Than Others]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>Title: The University Vibe: Why Some Communities Thrive More Than Others</strong></p>
<p>Why do cities with universities feel more vibrant, open, and thriving? In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore how constant learning, new connections, and fresh energy shape these communities—and why we should embrace this mindset everywhere. They also dive into the lost art of in-person communication, the impact of talking on the phone versus texting, and how small changes in how we interact can create a richer, more connected world. Tune in for a lively discussion on friendships, business, and building thriving communities—no degree required!</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br />#CommunityBuilding #LifelongLearning #UniversityVibes #ThrivingCommunities #FriendshipMatters #OpenMindedLiving #TalkingOnThePhone #HumanConnection #KeepLearning #SocialConnection #Networking #CollegeTownEnergy</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/2004123/c1e-z08ns7wqd5hq930w-jp2w1z60cgn5-dsrbpt.m4a" length="28802777"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Title: The University Vibe: Why Some Communities Thrive More Than Others
Why do cities with universities feel more vibrant, open, and thriving? In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore how constant learning, new connections, and fresh energy shape these communities—and why we should embrace this mindset everywhere. They also dive into the lost art of in-person communication, the impact of talking on the phone versus texting, and how small changes in how we interact can create a richer, more connected world. Tune in for a lively discussion on friendships, business, and building thriving communities—no degree required!
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.#CommunityBuilding #LifelongLearning #UniversityVibes #ThrivingCommunities #FriendshipMatters #OpenMindedLiving #TalkingOnThePhone #HumanConnection #KeepLearning #SocialConnection #Networking #CollegeTownEnergy]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/2004123/c1a-8j1v-ww6v0q2zi92j-slciqh.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Authentically YOU, Authentic Friend You As A Friend -The  Authentic Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Mar 2025 03:23:52 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1998266</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/authentically-you</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>✨ #AuthenticallyYOU ️</p>
<p>This week on <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we dive into the importance of authenticity in a world overflowing with voices—both online and in personal relationships. Matt explores the world of Cameo, where personalized celebrity messages range from deeply touching to painfully insincere, leading to a larger discussion on how we instinctively recognize genuine connection. Fawn shares a personal story of navigating a challenging friendship, reflecting on how people are becoming increasingly sensitive and attuned to each other’s energy—sometimes uncomfortably so. The episode delves into the power of sincerity, the necessity of setting boundaries, and why true authenticity is more valuable than ever in life and even in professional spaces like the corporate office and  voice acting.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#Authenticity #GenuineConnection #TheArtOfFriendship #TrustYourIntuition #Empathy #SincerityMatters #RealTalk #VoiceActing #Relationships #Boundaries #EnergySensitivity #AuthenticallyYou</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[✨ #AuthenticallyYOU ️
This week on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we dive into the importance of authenticity in a world overflowing with voices—both online and in personal relationships. Matt explores the world of Cameo, where personalized celebrity messages range from deeply touching to painfully insincere, leading to a larger discussion on how we instinctively recognize genuine connection. Fawn shares a personal story of navigating a challenging friendship, reflecting on how people are becoming increasingly sensitive and attuned to each other’s energy—sometimes uncomfortably so. The episode delves into the power of sincerity, the necessity of setting boundaries, and why true authenticity is more valuable than ever in life and even in professional spaces like the corporate office and  voice acting.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#Authenticity #GenuineConnection #TheArtOfFriendship #TrustYourIntuition #Empathy #SincerityMatters #RealTalk #VoiceActing #Relationships #Boundaries #EnergySensitivity #AuthenticallyYou]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Authentically YOU, Authentic Friend You As A Friend -The  Authentic Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>✨ #AuthenticallyYOU ️</p>
<p>This week on <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we dive into the importance of authenticity in a world overflowing with voices—both online and in personal relationships. Matt explores the world of Cameo, where personalized celebrity messages range from deeply touching to painfully insincere, leading to a larger discussion on how we instinctively recognize genuine connection. Fawn shares a personal story of navigating a challenging friendship, reflecting on how people are becoming increasingly sensitive and attuned to each other’s energy—sometimes uncomfortably so. The episode delves into the power of sincerity, the necessity of setting boundaries, and why true authenticity is more valuable than ever in life and even in professional spaces like the corporate office and  voice acting.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#Authenticity #GenuineConnection #TheArtOfFriendship #TrustYourIntuition #Empathy #SincerityMatters #RealTalk #VoiceActing #Relationships #Boundaries #EnergySensitivity #AuthenticallyYou</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1998266/c1e-w329b3j8rdtjr9z1-gpwox6g9ud97-kddbcg.m4a" length="28813525"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[✨ #AuthenticallyYOU ️
This week on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we dive into the importance of authenticity in a world overflowing with voices—both online and in personal relationships. Matt explores the world of Cameo, where personalized celebrity messages range from deeply touching to painfully insincere, leading to a larger discussion on how we instinctively recognize genuine connection. Fawn shares a personal story of navigating a challenging friendship, reflecting on how people are becoming increasingly sensitive and attuned to each other’s energy—sometimes uncomfortably so. The episode delves into the power of sincerity, the necessity of setting boundaries, and why true authenticity is more valuable than ever in life and even in professional spaces like the corporate office and  voice acting.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#Authenticity #GenuineConnection #TheArtOfFriendship #TrustYourIntuition #Empathy #SincerityMatters #RealTalk #VoiceActing #Relationships #Boundaries #EnergySensitivity #AuthenticallyYou]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1998266/c1a-8j1v-okw1g6xpawvz-iits4w.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:48</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Super Friend Power...ACTIVATE!]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Mar 2025 04:08:23 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1994107</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/super-friend-poweractivate</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn shares her deep appreciation for her friend Wendy, and reflects on the importance of meaningful friendships. She opens up about a challenging day filled with emotional overwhelm and how Wendy’s support helped her navigate through it. Matt and Fawn also discuss intuition, energy, and the fascinating connection between love and telepathic understanding. Their conversation explores the ways we connect with others, how we perceive people, and the role love plays in truly understanding someone.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br />Friendship, emotional support, intuition, telepathy, deep connections, empathy, energy, vegan recipes, meaningful relationships, personal growth, mindfulness, self-awareness, love and connection</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipMatters #EmotionalSupport #DeepConnections #Intuition #Empathy #Mindfulness #PersonalGrowth #LoveAndConnection #VeganRecipes #Telepathy #UnderstandingPeople #SelfAwareness #Compassion #HealingThroughFriendship #happyapplevegan</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn shares her deep appreciation for her friend Wendy, and reflects on the importance of meaningful friendships. She opens up about a challenging day filled with emotional overwhelm and how Wendy’s support helped her navigate through it. Matt and Fawn also discuss intuition, energy, and the fascinating connection between love and telepathic understanding. Their conversation explores the ways we connect with others, how we perceive people, and the role love plays in truly understanding someone.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.Friendship, emotional support, intuition, telepathy, deep connections, empathy, energy, vegan recipes, meaningful relationships, personal growth, mindfulness, self-awareness, love and connection
#FriendshipMatters #EmotionalSupport #DeepConnections #Intuition #Empathy #Mindfulness #PersonalGrowth #LoveAndConnection #VeganRecipes #Telepathy #UnderstandingPeople #SelfAwareness #Compassion #HealingThroughFriendship #happyapplevegan
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Super Friend Power...ACTIVATE!]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn shares her deep appreciation for her friend Wendy, and reflects on the importance of meaningful friendships. She opens up about a challenging day filled with emotional overwhelm and how Wendy’s support helped her navigate through it. Matt and Fawn also discuss intuition, energy, and the fascinating connection between love and telepathic understanding. Their conversation explores the ways we connect with others, how we perceive people, and the role love plays in truly understanding someone.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br />Friendship, emotional support, intuition, telepathy, deep connections, empathy, energy, vegan recipes, meaningful relationships, personal growth, mindfulness, self-awareness, love and connection</p>
<p><br />#FriendshipMatters #EmotionalSupport #DeepConnections #Intuition #Empathy #Mindfulness #PersonalGrowth #LoveAndConnection #VeganRecipes #Telepathy #UnderstandingPeople #SelfAwareness #Compassion #HealingThroughFriendship #happyapplevegan</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1994107/c1e-5jn4a1rmw8ar7j97-gpwrww5zuv5q-dtzztd.m4a" length="40985343"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn shares her deep appreciation for her friend Wendy, and reflects on the importance of meaningful friendships. She opens up about a challenging day filled with emotional overwhelm and how Wendy’s support helped her navigate through it. Matt and Fawn also discuss intuition, energy, and the fascinating connection between love and telepathic understanding. Their conversation explores the ways we connect with others, how we perceive people, and the role love plays in truly understanding someone.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.Friendship, emotional support, intuition, telepathy, deep connections, empathy, energy, vegan recipes, meaningful relationships, personal growth, mindfulness, self-awareness, love and connection
#FriendshipMatters #EmotionalSupport #DeepConnections #Intuition #Empathy #Mindfulness #PersonalGrowth #LoveAndConnection #VeganRecipes #Telepathy #UnderstandingPeople #SelfAwareness #Compassion #HealingThroughFriendship #happyapplevegan
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1994107/c1a-8j1v-xxw3ww7gcgq-dylxpa.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:34:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Navigating the Bog: How to Set Emotional Boundaries and Find True Friendship Without Sinking]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Mar 2025 01:59:20 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1989336</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/navigating-the-bog-how-to-set-emotional-boundaries-without-sinking</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this friendship podcast Episode: Just like a bog, relationships can be rich, complex, and even a little murky at times. Without strong emotional boundaries, we risk sinking into the weight of other people’s emotions, losing sight of our own needs and energy. In this episode, we explore how to navigate emotional landscapes with self-awareness and balance, ensuring that we stay grounded while still fostering deep, meaningful connections. We discuss the role of humility, self-reflection, and mindful communication in setting boundaries that protect our well-being without shutting others out. Join us as we uncover the secrets to maintaining strong, healthy relationships without getting emotionally stuck.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the intricate balance between humility, emotional energy, and boundaries in relationships. They discuss how unspoken emotions can create distance, the importance of acknowledging our own needs, and how setting boundaries fosters deeper connections. Through personal stories and reflections, they highlight the transformative power of self-awareness and mindful communication in building healthier, more authentic relationships.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Emotional boundaries in relationships</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Healthy communication strategies</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Self-awareness and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to set boundaries with loved ones</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Emotional energy and connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Mindful communication tips</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The power of self-awareness in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to strengthen friendships through boundaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Balancing humility and emotional well-being</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Deepening connections through mindfulness</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#EmotionalBoundaries #HealthyRelationships #MindfulCommunication #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipAdvice #SettingBoundaries #AuthenticConnections #FriendshipMatters #CommunicationSkills</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this friendship podcast Episode: Just like a bog, relationships can be rich, complex, and even a little murky at times. Without strong emotional boundaries, we risk sinking into the weight of other people’s emotions, losing sight of our own needs and energy. In this episode, we explore how to navigate emotional landscapes with self-awareness and balance, ensuring that we stay grounded while still fostering deep, meaningful connections. We discuss the role of humility, self-reflection, and mindful communication in setting boundaries that protect our well-being without shutting others out. Join us as we uncover the secrets to maintaining strong, healthy relationships without getting emotionally stuck.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn and Matt explore the intricate balance between humility, emotional energy, and boundaries in relationships. They discuss how unspoken emotions can create distance, the importance of acknowledging our own needs, and how setting boundaries fosters deeper connections. Through personal stories and reflections, they highlight the transformative power of self-awareness and mindful communication in building healthier, more authentic relationships.

Emotional boundaries in relationships


Healthy communication strategies


Self-awareness and relationships


How to set boundaries with loved ones


Emotional energy and connection


Mindful communication tips


The power of self-awareness in relationships


How to strengthen friendships through boundaries


Balancing humility and emotional well-being


Deepening connections through mindfulness


#EmotionalBoundaries #HealthyRelationships #MindfulCommunication #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipAdvice #SettingBoundaries #AuthenticConnections #FriendshipMatters #CommunicationSkills]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Navigating the Bog: How to Set Emotional Boundaries and Find True Friendship Without Sinking]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this friendship podcast Episode: Just like a bog, relationships can be rich, complex, and even a little murky at times. Without strong emotional boundaries, we risk sinking into the weight of other people’s emotions, losing sight of our own needs and energy. In this episode, we explore how to navigate emotional landscapes with self-awareness and balance, ensuring that we stay grounded while still fostering deep, meaningful connections. We discuss the role of humility, self-reflection, and mindful communication in setting boundaries that protect our well-being without shutting others out. Join us as we uncover the secrets to maintaining strong, healthy relationships without getting emotionally stuck.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the intricate balance between humility, emotional energy, and boundaries in relationships. They discuss how unspoken emotions can create distance, the importance of acknowledging our own needs, and how setting boundaries fosters deeper connections. Through personal stories and reflections, they highlight the transformative power of self-awareness and mindful communication in building healthier, more authentic relationships.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Emotional boundaries in relationships</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Healthy communication strategies</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Self-awareness and relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to set boundaries with loved ones</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Emotional energy and connection</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Mindful communication tips</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>The power of self-awareness in relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>How to strengthen friendships through boundaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Balancing humility and emotional well-being</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Deepening connections through mindfulness</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>#EmotionalBoundaries #HealthyRelationships #MindfulCommunication #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipAdvice #SettingBoundaries #AuthenticConnections #FriendshipMatters #CommunicationSkills</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1989336/c1e-w329brn2pju0gmqo-8dwzo248cd3n-qaxqo1.mp3" length="28742727"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this friendship podcast Episode: Just like a bog, relationships can be rich, complex, and even a little murky at times. Without strong emotional boundaries, we risk sinking into the weight of other people’s emotions, losing sight of our own needs and energy. In this episode, we explore how to navigate emotional landscapes with self-awareness and balance, ensuring that we stay grounded while still fostering deep, meaningful connections. We discuss the role of humility, self-reflection, and mindful communication in setting boundaries that protect our well-being without shutting others out. Join us as we uncover the secrets to maintaining strong, healthy relationships without getting emotionally stuck.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn and Matt explore the intricate balance between humility, emotional energy, and boundaries in relationships. They discuss how unspoken emotions can create distance, the importance of acknowledging our own needs, and how setting boundaries fosters deeper connections. Through personal stories and reflections, they highlight the transformative power of self-awareness and mindful communication in building healthier, more authentic relationships.

Emotional boundaries in relationships


Healthy communication strategies


Self-awareness and relationships


How to set boundaries with loved ones


Emotional energy and connection


Mindful communication tips


The power of self-awareness in relationships


How to strengthen friendships through boundaries


Balancing humility and emotional well-being


Deepening connections through mindfulness


#EmotionalBoundaries #HealthyRelationships #MindfulCommunication #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipAdvice #SettingBoundaries #AuthenticConnections #FriendshipMatters #CommunicationSkills]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1989336/c1a-8j1v-5z1md6grsx66-l4pti7.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:56</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Scorpion, the Frog, and the Art of Stoic Friendship”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 03 Mar 2025 05:01:09 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1984544</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-scorpion-the-frog-and-the-art-of-stoic-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the fable of <em>The Frog and the Scorpion</em> as a metaphor for friendships with those whose nature may be inherently harmful. We can be kind without allowing toxic people into their inner circle. The episode ends with a reminder to live according to one's virtue, embrace self-awareness, and find balance in all relationships. Through Stoic wisdom, personal stories, and ancient lessons, they discuss the challenge of helping others without being repeatedly hurt. Fawn shares a friendship that mirrored the fable, realizing that some people, like the scorpion, act according to their nature. Matt offers a mindful approach—engaging with awareness while setting boundaries. They conclude that wisdom lies in knowing when to help, when to walk away, and how to protect one’s own virtue.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The Frog and the Scorpion fable</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Toxic friendships and boundaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Protecting yourself in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Stoic wisdom on relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Knowing when to walk away</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Recognizing harmful behavior</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Lessons from ancient fables</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Friendship and self-preservation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Mindful relationships and trust</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Choosing the right friendships</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#FriendshipWisdom #ToxicRelationships #KnowYourWorth #BoundariesMatter #SelfPreservation #LifeLessons #StoicPhilosophy #FrogAndScorpion #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowth #ChooseWisely #ProtectYourPeace #AncientWisdom #PodcastEpisode #Storytelling</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the fable of The Frog and the Scorpion as a metaphor for friendships with those whose nature may be inherently harmful. We can be kind without allowing toxic people into their inner circle. The episode ends with a reminder to live according to one's virtue, embrace self-awareness, and find balance in all relationships. Through Stoic wisdom, personal stories, and ancient lessons, they discuss the challenge of helping others without being repeatedly hurt. Fawn shares a friendship that mirrored the fable, realizing that some people, like the scorpion, act according to their nature. Matt offers a mindful approach—engaging with awareness while setting boundaries. They conclude that wisdom lies in knowing when to help, when to walk away, and how to protect one’s own virtue.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


The Frog and the Scorpion fable


Toxic friendships and boundaries


Protecting yourself in friendships


Stoic wisdom on relationships


Knowing when to walk away


Recognizing harmful behavior


Lessons from ancient fables


Friendship and self-preservation


Mindful relationships and trust


Choosing the right friendships



#FriendshipWisdom #ToxicRelationships #KnowYourWorth #BoundariesMatter #SelfPreservation #LifeLessons #StoicPhilosophy #FrogAndScorpion #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowth #ChooseWisely #ProtectYourPeace #AncientWisdom #PodcastEpisode #Storytelling]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Scorpion, the Frog, and the Art of Stoic Friendship”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the fable of <em>The Frog and the Scorpion</em> as a metaphor for friendships with those whose nature may be inherently harmful. We can be kind without allowing toxic people into their inner circle. The episode ends with a reminder to live according to one's virtue, embrace self-awareness, and find balance in all relationships. Through Stoic wisdom, personal stories, and ancient lessons, they discuss the challenge of helping others without being repeatedly hurt. Fawn shares a friendship that mirrored the fable, realizing that some people, like the scorpion, act according to their nature. Matt offers a mindful approach—engaging with awareness while setting boundaries. They conclude that wisdom lies in knowing when to help, when to walk away, and how to protect one’s own virtue.</p>
<h3>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.<br /><br /></h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The Frog and the Scorpion fable</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Toxic friendships and boundaries</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Protecting yourself in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Stoic wisdom on relationships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Knowing when to walk away</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Recognizing harmful behavior</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Lessons from ancient fables</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Friendship and self-preservation</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Mindful relationships and trust</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Choosing the right friendships</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#FriendshipWisdom #ToxicRelationships #KnowYourWorth #BoundariesMatter #SelfPreservation #LifeLessons #StoicPhilosophy #FrogAndScorpion #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowth #ChooseWisely #ProtectYourPeace #AncientWisdom #PodcastEpisode #Storytelling</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1984544/c1e-n670b5k728bdk3p6-pkg6rportqn1-wniebf.m4a" length="31484614"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, Fawn and Matt explore the fable of The Frog and the Scorpion as a metaphor for friendships with those whose nature may be inherently harmful. We can be kind without allowing toxic people into their inner circle. The episode ends with a reminder to live according to one's virtue, embrace self-awareness, and find balance in all relationships. Through Stoic wisdom, personal stories, and ancient lessons, they discuss the challenge of helping others without being repeatedly hurt. Fawn shares a friendship that mirrored the fable, realizing that some people, like the scorpion, act according to their nature. Matt offers a mindful approach—engaging with awareness while setting boundaries. They conclude that wisdom lies in knowing when to help, when to walk away, and how to protect one’s own virtue.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


The Frog and the Scorpion fable


Toxic friendships and boundaries


Protecting yourself in friendships


Stoic wisdom on relationships


Knowing when to walk away


Recognizing harmful behavior


Lessons from ancient fables


Friendship and self-preservation


Mindful relationships and trust


Choosing the right friendships



#FriendshipWisdom #ToxicRelationships #KnowYourWorth #BoundariesMatter #SelfPreservation #LifeLessons #StoicPhilosophy #FrogAndScorpion #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowth #ChooseWisely #ProtectYourPeace #AncientWisdom #PodcastEpisode #Storytelling]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1984544/c1a-8j1v-9jnx16zvfjow-ymhid1.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Resentment Repels, Friendship Attracts: The Secret to Abundance and A Great Friendship"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Feb 2025 04:30:42 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1980448</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/resentment-repels-friendship-attracts-the-secret-to-abundance</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on making and keeping friends)</em>, Fawn and Matt explore how lingering resentment—even in small amounts—can block success in all areas of life, including career, relationships, and financial abundance. Fawn reflects on how unresolved negative feelings create an invisible energy that repels opportunities, comparing it to an unnoticed but growing mold. She emphasizes the importance of consciously clearing resentment, just like daily maintenance for a refrigerator or brushing one’s teeth.</p>
<p>Matt shares his perspective on directly addressing conflicts by speaking truth, while Fawn challenges him to approach forgiveness with a mindset of energetic cleansing. They discuss a simple practice of asking for divine help in forgiving and being forgiven, reinforcing that true success is built on emotional clarity.</p>
<p>The episode closes with heartfelt shoutouts to fellow podcasters and creators, encouraging listeners to embrace daily self-reflection and energetic hygiene to attract the life they desire.</p>
<h3><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>How to attract success</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Clearing resentment for abundance</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Forgiveness and success</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Emotional energy and manifestation</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>How to remove negative energy</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Spiritual self-care for success</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>The power of letting go</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Daily mindset practices for abundance</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>How emotions affect success</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Energetic cleansing techniques</strong></p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#SuccessMindset #EmotionalWellness #LetGoAndGrow #ManifestationTips #ForgivenessIsFreedom #EnergyClearing #AbundanceMindset #SelfGrowthJourney #PersonalDevelopment #SpiritualSuccess</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on making and keeping friends), Fawn and Matt explore how lingering resentment—even in small amounts—can block success in all areas of life, including career, relationships, and financial abundance. Fawn reflects on how unresolved negative feelings create an invisible energy that repels opportunities, comparing it to an unnoticed but growing mold. She emphasizes the importance of consciously clearing resentment, just like daily maintenance for a refrigerator or brushing one’s teeth.
Matt shares his perspective on directly addressing conflicts by speaking truth, while Fawn challenges him to approach forgiveness with a mindset of energetic cleansing. They discuss a simple practice of asking for divine help in forgiving and being forgiven, reinforcing that true success is built on emotional clarity.
The episode closes with heartfelt shoutouts to fellow podcasters and creators, encouraging listeners to embrace daily self-reflection and energetic hygiene to attract the life they desire.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


How to attract success


Clearing resentment for abundance


Forgiveness and success


Emotional energy and manifestation


How to remove negative energy


Spiritual self-care for success


The power of letting go


Daily mindset practices for abundance


How emotions affect success


Energetic cleansing techniques



#SuccessMindset #EmotionalWellness #LetGoAndGrow #ManifestationTips #ForgivenessIsFreedom #EnergyClearing #AbundanceMindset #SelfGrowthJourney #PersonalDevelopment #SpiritualSuccess
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Resentment Repels, Friendship Attracts: The Secret to Abundance and A Great Friendship"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on making and keeping friends)</em>, Fawn and Matt explore how lingering resentment—even in small amounts—can block success in all areas of life, including career, relationships, and financial abundance. Fawn reflects on how unresolved negative feelings create an invisible energy that repels opportunities, comparing it to an unnoticed but growing mold. She emphasizes the importance of consciously clearing resentment, just like daily maintenance for a refrigerator or brushing one’s teeth.</p>
<p>Matt shares his perspective on directly addressing conflicts by speaking truth, while Fawn challenges him to approach forgiveness with a mindset of energetic cleansing. They discuss a simple practice of asking for divine help in forgiving and being forgiven, reinforcing that true success is built on emotional clarity.</p>
<p>The episode closes with heartfelt shoutouts to fellow podcasters and creators, encouraging listeners to embrace daily self-reflection and energetic hygiene to attract the life they desire.</p>
<h3><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</h3>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>How to attract success</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Clearing resentment for abundance</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Forgiveness and success</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Emotional energy and manifestation</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>How to remove negative energy</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Spiritual self-care for success</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>The power of letting go</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Daily mindset practices for abundance</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>How emotions affect success</strong></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>Energetic cleansing techniques</strong></p>
</li>
</ul>
<h3><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#SuccessMindset #EmotionalWellness #LetGoAndGrow #ManifestationTips #ForgivenessIsFreedom #EnergyClearing #AbundanceMindset #SelfGrowthJourney #PersonalDevelopment #SpiritualSuccess</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1980448/c1e-2j9qa8ommnf67p46-qdw7qn5kt6np-qx7ufi.mp3" length="26014339"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on making and keeping friends), Fawn and Matt explore how lingering resentment—even in small amounts—can block success in all areas of life, including career, relationships, and financial abundance. Fawn reflects on how unresolved negative feelings create an invisible energy that repels opportunities, comparing it to an unnoticed but growing mold. She emphasizes the importance of consciously clearing resentment, just like daily maintenance for a refrigerator or brushing one’s teeth.
Matt shares his perspective on directly addressing conflicts by speaking truth, while Fawn challenges him to approach forgiveness with a mindset of energetic cleansing. They discuss a simple practice of asking for divine help in forgiving and being forgiven, reinforcing that true success is built on emotional clarity.
The episode closes with heartfelt shoutouts to fellow podcasters and creators, encouraging listeners to embrace daily self-reflection and energetic hygiene to attract the life they desire.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.


How to attract success


Clearing resentment for abundance


Forgiveness and success


Emotional energy and manifestation


How to remove negative energy


Spiritual self-care for success


The power of letting go


Daily mindset practices for abundance


How emotions affect success


Energetic cleansing techniques



#SuccessMindset #EmotionalWellness #LetGoAndGrow #ManifestationTips #ForgivenessIsFreedom #EnergyClearing #AbundanceMindset #SelfGrowthJourney #PersonalDevelopment #SpiritualSuccess
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1980448/c1a-8j1v-rkzjqm7vcmk8-mkdc8p.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:27:05</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Walking Into Friendship: The Power of Shared Steps]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 16 Feb 2025 15:50:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1975782</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/walking-into-friendship-the-power-of-shared-steps</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This week's podcast episode on the art of friendship, Fawn and Matt explore the simple yet profound act of walking and how it strengthens relationships. From hiking with their kids to daily neighborhood strolls, they discuss how shared experiences—especially ones that involve movement—foster connection, deepen conversations, and even boost creativity. They dive into the science behind walking, its impact on mental well-being, and why it’s a natural reset for the mind and soul. Whether it’s a quiet stroll with a friend or a daily ritual, walking might just be the key to building stronger, more meaningful bonds.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>✔ Walking and friendship<br />✔ Shared experiences and connection<br />✔ How walking improves mental health<br />✔ Building relationships through movement<br />✔ Walking as a bonding ritual<br />✔ The power of physical activity for emotional connection<br />✔ How nature and movement boost creativity<br />✔ Simple ways to deepen friendships<br />✔ Daily habits for stronger relationships</p>
<p><strong>walking and shared experiences</strong></p>
<p><strong>connection, emotional bonding, and mental clarity</strong></p>
<p><strong>mood, creativity, and well-being </strong></p>
<p><strong>simple ritual of walking with a friend or loved one </strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br />#Friendship #WalkingTogether #MindfulMovement #ConnectionMatters #SharedExperiences #WalkingForHealth #StrongerTogether #MentalClarity #CreativityBoost #DailyRituals #WalkingMeditation #HealthyRelationships #BondingTime</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's podcast episode on the art of friendship, Fawn and Matt explore the simple yet profound act of walking and how it strengthens relationships. From hiking with their kids to daily neighborhood strolls, they discuss how shared experiences—especially ones that involve movement—foster connection, deepen conversations, and even boost creativity. They dive into the science behind walking, its impact on mental well-being, and why it’s a natural reset for the mind and soul. Whether it’s a quiet stroll with a friend or a daily ritual, walking might just be the key to building stronger, more meaningful bonds.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
✔ Walking and friendship✔ Shared experiences and connection✔ How walking improves mental health✔ Building relationships through movement✔ Walking as a bonding ritual✔ The power of physical activity for emotional connection✔ How nature and movement boost creativity✔ Simple ways to deepen friendships✔ Daily habits for stronger relationships
walking and shared experiences
connection, emotional bonding, and mental clarity
mood, creativity, and well-being 
simple ritual of walking with a friend or loved one 

#Friendship #WalkingTogether #MindfulMovement #ConnectionMatters #SharedExperiences #WalkingForHealth #StrongerTogether #MentalClarity #CreativityBoost #DailyRituals #WalkingMeditation #HealthyRelationships #BondingTime]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Walking Into Friendship: The Power of Shared Steps]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This week's podcast episode on the art of friendship, Fawn and Matt explore the simple yet profound act of walking and how it strengthens relationships. From hiking with their kids to daily neighborhood strolls, they discuss how shared experiences—especially ones that involve movement—foster connection, deepen conversations, and even boost creativity. They dive into the science behind walking, its impact on mental well-being, and why it’s a natural reset for the mind and soul. Whether it’s a quiet stroll with a friend or a daily ritual, walking might just be the key to building stronger, more meaningful bonds.</p>
<p><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>✔ Walking and friendship<br />✔ Shared experiences and connection<br />✔ How walking improves mental health<br />✔ Building relationships through movement<br />✔ Walking as a bonding ritual<br />✔ The power of physical activity for emotional connection<br />✔ How nature and movement boost creativity<br />✔ Simple ways to deepen friendships<br />✔ Daily habits for stronger relationships</p>
<p><strong>walking and shared experiences</strong></p>
<p><strong>connection, emotional bonding, and mental clarity</strong></p>
<p><strong>mood, creativity, and well-being </strong></p>
<p><strong>simple ritual of walking with a friend or loved one </strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br />#Friendship #WalkingTogether #MindfulMovement #ConnectionMatters #SharedExperiences #WalkingForHealth #StrongerTogether #MentalClarity #CreativityBoost #DailyRituals #WalkingMeditation #HealthyRelationships #BondingTime</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1975782/c1e-0jo1aj008kigm371-v6238d9nsvn6-lsi0dt.mp3" length="16975926"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's podcast episode on the art of friendship, Fawn and Matt explore the simple yet profound act of walking and how it strengthens relationships. From hiking with their kids to daily neighborhood strolls, they discuss how shared experiences—especially ones that involve movement—foster connection, deepen conversations, and even boost creativity. They dive into the science behind walking, its impact on mental well-being, and why it’s a natural reset for the mind and soul. Whether it’s a quiet stroll with a friend or a daily ritual, walking might just be the key to building stronger, more meaningful bonds.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
✔ Walking and friendship✔ Shared experiences and connection✔ How walking improves mental health✔ Building relationships through movement✔ Walking as a bonding ritual✔ The power of physical activity for emotional connection✔ How nature and movement boost creativity✔ Simple ways to deepen friendships✔ Daily habits for stronger relationships
walking and shared experiences
connection, emotional bonding, and mental clarity
mood, creativity, and well-being 
simple ritual of walking with a friend or loved one 

#Friendship #WalkingTogether #MindfulMovement #ConnectionMatters #SharedExperiences #WalkingForHealth #StrongerTogether #MentalClarity #CreativityBoost #DailyRituals #WalkingMeditation #HealthyRelationships #BondingTime]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1975782/c1a-8j1v-qdwgnmqrh708-acgvcp.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:17:40</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Making Friends in Today's World]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Feb 2025 05:54:14 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1969682</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/making-friends-in-todays-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this podcast episode on the art of making and keeping friends, Fawn shares an interaction with a friend. We discuss present-day friendships and our future as a humanity.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#makingfriendstoday</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this podcast episode on the art of making and keeping friends, Fawn shares an interaction with a friend. We discuss present-day friendships and our future as a humanity.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#makingfriendstoday]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Making Friends in Today's World]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this podcast episode on the art of making and keeping friends, Fawn shares an interaction with a friend. We discuss present-day friendships and our future as a humanity.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#makingfriendstoday</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1969682/c1e-n670b5nvx4c9z41g-7z2zq7r1fgmg-d9ijex.mp3" length="29636757"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this podcast episode on the art of making and keeping friends, Fawn shares an interaction with a friend. We discuss present-day friendships and our future as a humanity.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#makingfriendstoday]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1969682/c1a-8j1v-kpwpmrjzi0wo-krhqzi.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:52</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Confirmation Bias and Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 03 Feb 2025 05:34:23 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1965575</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/confirmation-bias-and-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em> explores the concept of <strong>confirmation bias</strong>—how our preconceived notions shape the way we perceive others and the world around us. Fawn and Matt reflect on how societal expectations and biases affect relationships, including their own marriage. With humor and insight, they uncover how deeply ingrained assumptions influence our interactions and challenge friends to rethink the way they judge and interpret the world.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<h3>Confirmation bias, Perception vs. reality, Overcoming judgment, Challenging assumptions, Unconscious bias in relationships, Breaking stereotypes, Psychology of perception</h3>
<p>#ConfirmationBias<br />#PerceptionMatters<br />#BreakingStereotypes<br />#ChallengeAssumptions<br />#UnconsciousBias<br />#MindsetShift<br />#FriendshipPodcast</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt explores the concept of confirmation bias—how our preconceived notions shape the way we perceive others and the world around us. Fawn and Matt reflect on how societal expectations and biases affect relationships, including their own marriage. With humor and insight, they uncover how deeply ingrained assumptions influence our interactions and challenge friends to rethink the way they judge and interpret the world.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Confirmation bias, Perception vs. reality, Overcoming judgment, Challenging assumptions, Unconscious bias in relationships, Breaking stereotypes, Psychology of perception
#ConfirmationBias#PerceptionMatters#BreakingStereotypes#ChallengeAssumptions#UnconsciousBias#MindsetShift#FriendshipPodcast
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Confirmation Bias and Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em> explores the concept of <strong>confirmation bias</strong>—how our preconceived notions shape the way we perceive others and the world around us. Fawn and Matt reflect on how societal expectations and biases affect relationships, including their own marriage. With humor and insight, they uncover how deeply ingrained assumptions influence our interactions and challenge friends to rethink the way they judge and interpret the world.</p>
<p>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<h3>Confirmation bias, Perception vs. reality, Overcoming judgment, Challenging assumptions, Unconscious bias in relationships, Breaking stereotypes, Psychology of perception</h3>
<p>#ConfirmationBias<br />#PerceptionMatters<br />#BreakingStereotypes<br />#ChallengeAssumptions<br />#UnconsciousBias<br />#MindsetShift<br />#FriendshipPodcast</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1965575/c1e-vom3b938xwfwz128-z3do25dxsdoo-hzz4op.mp3" length="30119501"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt explores the concept of confirmation bias—how our preconceived notions shape the way we perceive others and the world around us. Fawn and Matt reflect on how societal expectations and biases affect relationships, including their own marriage. With humor and insight, they uncover how deeply ingrained assumptions influence our interactions and challenge friends to rethink the way they judge and interpret the world.
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Confirmation bias, Perception vs. reality, Overcoming judgment, Challenging assumptions, Unconscious bias in relationships, Breaking stereotypes, Psychology of perception
#ConfirmationBias#PerceptionMatters#BreakingStereotypes#ChallengeAssumptions#UnconsciousBias#MindsetShift#FriendshipPodcast
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1965575/c1a-8j1v-0v54kr5gcm06-jow3ny.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:22</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Empathy Overload: Navigating Connection, Loneliness, and Social Media's Hidden Traps Keeping us from Making True Friends"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Jan 2025 05:33:04 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1951938</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/empathy-overload-navigating-connection-loneliness-and-social-medias-hidden-traps</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we dive into the complexities of human connection in our hyper-connected world. Despite billions of people on the planet, our capacity for empathy is limited by our natural design to thrive in small communities. Fawn shares personal experiences that highlight the challenges of modern-day compassion, including the overwhelming influence of social media. The discussion explores how the emotional manipulation of algorithms, echo chambers, and the loneliness epidemic are shaping our sense of self-worth and relationships. Join us as we uncover ways to navigate these challenges, protect our empathy, and reconnect with our true humanity.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#EmpathyInAction #SocialMediaImpact #LonelinessEpidemic #EchoChamberEffect #DigitalCompassion #ReclaimConnection #ModernEmpathy<br />empathy overload, social media algorithms, loneliness epidemic, digital influence, echo chambers, protecting compassion, human connection challenges</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we dive into the complexities of human connection in our hyper-connected world. Despite billions of people on the planet, our capacity for empathy is limited by our natural design to thrive in small communities. Fawn shares personal experiences that highlight the challenges of modern-day compassion, including the overwhelming influence of social media. The discussion explores how the emotional manipulation of algorithms, echo chambers, and the loneliness epidemic are shaping our sense of self-worth and relationships. Join us as we uncover ways to navigate these challenges, protect our empathy, and reconnect with our true humanity.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#EmpathyInAction #SocialMediaImpact #LonelinessEpidemic #EchoChamberEffect #DigitalCompassion #ReclaimConnection #ModernEmpathyempathy overload, social media algorithms, loneliness epidemic, digital influence, echo chambers, protecting compassion, human connection challenges]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Empathy Overload: Navigating Connection, Loneliness, and Social Media's Hidden Traps Keeping us from Making True Friends"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we dive into the complexities of human connection in our hyper-connected world. Despite billions of people on the planet, our capacity for empathy is limited by our natural design to thrive in small communities. Fawn shares personal experiences that highlight the challenges of modern-day compassion, including the overwhelming influence of social media. The discussion explores how the emotional manipulation of algorithms, echo chambers, and the loneliness epidemic are shaping our sense of self-worth and relationships. Join us as we uncover ways to navigate these challenges, protect our empathy, and reconnect with our true humanity.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#EmpathyInAction #SocialMediaImpact #LonelinessEpidemic #EchoChamberEffect #DigitalCompassion #ReclaimConnection #ModernEmpathy<br />empathy overload, social media algorithms, loneliness epidemic, digital influence, echo chambers, protecting compassion, human connection challenges</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1951938/c1e-vom3b9o800hwz126-rkz2o3wrf0zm-6i2ttc.mp3" length="22393946"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we dive into the complexities of human connection in our hyper-connected world. Despite billions of people on the planet, our capacity for empathy is limited by our natural design to thrive in small communities. Fawn shares personal experiences that highlight the challenges of modern-day compassion, including the overwhelming influence of social media. The discussion explores how the emotional manipulation of algorithms, echo chambers, and the loneliness epidemic are shaping our sense of self-worth and relationships. Join us as we uncover ways to navigate these challenges, protect our empathy, and reconnect with our true humanity.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#EmpathyInAction #SocialMediaImpact #LonelinessEpidemic #EchoChamberEffect #DigitalCompassion #ReclaimConnection #ModernEmpathyempathy overload, social media algorithms, loneliness epidemic, digital influence, echo chambers, protecting compassion, human connection challenges]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1951938/c1a-8j1v-8dw0mq62twwp-p0rwqt.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:19</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["How to Walk Away: Exploring the Loud Quitting Phenomenon Even in Friendship"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Jan 2025 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1945686</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-walk-away-exploring-the-loud-quitting-phenomenon</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the intriguing concept of "loud quitting" and how it applies to friendships. Inspired by a viral story of a marching band resignation, Fawn and Matt reflect on the impact of how we choose to leave relationships—whether professional or personal. They examine the ripple effects of toxic dynamics, the importance of grace when ending connections, and the lessons we carry forward into new chapters. With a mix of humor and heartfelt insights, this episode dives deep into how we can part ways with dignity while preserving our own well-being.</p>
<h3> Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</h3>
<p>loud quitting, friendship dynamics, toxic relationships, leaving with grace, personal growth, Our Friendly World, healthy connections, self-worth, podcast on relationships</p>
<h3> </h3>
<p>#LoudQuitting #FriendshipMatters #ToxicRelationships #HealthyConnections #PersonalGrowth #SelfWorth #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealth</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the intriguing concept of "loud quitting" and how it applies to friendships. Inspired by a viral story of a marching band resignation, Fawn and Matt reflect on the impact of how we choose to leave relationships—whether professional or personal. They examine the ripple effects of toxic dynamics, the importance of grace when ending connections, and the lessons we carry forward into new chapters. With a mix of humor and heartfelt insights, this episode dives deep into how we can part ways with dignity while preserving our own well-being.
 Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
loud quitting, friendship dynamics, toxic relationships, leaving with grace, personal growth, Our Friendly World, healthy connections, self-worth, podcast on relationships
 
#LoudQuitting #FriendshipMatters #ToxicRelationships #HealthyConnections #PersonalGrowth #SelfWorth #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealth
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["How to Walk Away: Exploring the Loud Quitting Phenomenon Even in Friendship"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the intriguing concept of "loud quitting" and how it applies to friendships. Inspired by a viral story of a marching band resignation, Fawn and Matt reflect on the impact of how we choose to leave relationships—whether professional or personal. They examine the ripple effects of toxic dynamics, the importance of grace when ending connections, and the lessons we carry forward into new chapters. With a mix of humor and heartfelt insights, this episode dives deep into how we can part ways with dignity while preserving our own well-being.</p>
<h3> Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</h3>
<p>loud quitting, friendship dynamics, toxic relationships, leaving with grace, personal growth, Our Friendly World, healthy connections, self-worth, podcast on relationships</p>
<h3> </h3>
<p>#LoudQuitting #FriendshipMatters #ToxicRelationships #HealthyConnections #PersonalGrowth #SelfWorth #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealth</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1945686/c1e-5jn4am4q21h0xm52-xxw4r6ddh78-urkvdj.mp3" length="22735410"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the intriguing concept of "loud quitting" and how it applies to friendships. Inspired by a viral story of a marching band resignation, Fawn and Matt reflect on the impact of how we choose to leave relationships—whether professional or personal. They examine the ripple effects of toxic dynamics, the importance of grace when ending connections, and the lessons we carry forward into new chapters. With a mix of humor and heartfelt insights, this episode dives deep into how we can part ways with dignity while preserving our own well-being.
 Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
loud quitting, friendship dynamics, toxic relationships, leaving with grace, personal growth, Our Friendly World, healthy connections, self-worth, podcast on relationships
 
#LoudQuitting #FriendshipMatters #ToxicRelationships #HealthyConnections #PersonalGrowth #SelfWorth #PodcastLife #OurFriendlyWorld #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealth
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1945686/c1a-8j1v-rkz31q88f9gm-6a65zs.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:40</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Abundance Through Time: How Connection and Community Shape Our Well-Being -OUR FRIENDSHIPS"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Jan 2025 06:20:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1939302</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/abundance-through-time-how-connection-and-community-shape-our-well-being</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on the art of making friends)</em>, we delve into the profound relationship between abundance, time, and the human instinct to protect and connect. We discuss how our innate benevolence as a species drives us to help one another and how community and shared experiences create a sense of safety and well-being. From the barriers to education to the complexities of modern survival, this episode explores the challenges and opportunities we face in cultivating abundance—both in resources and in time. Join the conversation as we uncover how friendships and collective effort can transform scarcity into abundance, one connection at a time.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>Humanity, Connection, Benevolence, Survival instinct, Community, Belonging, Abundance, Time management, Friendship, Well-being</p>
<p>#HumanConnection<br />#Benevolence<br />#CommunityMatters<br />#InstinctiveKindness<br />#FeelSafeTogether<br />#BelongingAndAbundance<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p>#AbundanceMindset<br />#TimeIsWealth<br />#HumanConnection<br />#CommunityMatters<br />#FriendshipGoals<br />#WellBeingJourney<br />#CollectivePower</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on the art of making friends), we delve into the profound relationship between abundance, time, and the human instinct to protect and connect. We discuss how our innate benevolence as a species drives us to help one another and how community and shared experiences create a sense of safety and well-being. From the barriers to education to the complexities of modern survival, this episode explores the challenges and opportunities we face in cultivating abundance—both in resources and in time. Join the conversation as we uncover how friendships and collective effort can transform scarcity into abundance, one connection at a time.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Humanity, Connection, Benevolence, Survival instinct, Community, Belonging, Abundance, Time management, Friendship, Well-being
#HumanConnection#Benevolence#CommunityMatters#InstinctiveKindness#FeelSafeTogether#BelongingAndAbundance#OurFriendlyWorld
#AbundanceMindset#TimeIsWealth#HumanConnection#CommunityMatters#FriendshipGoals#WellBeingJourney#CollectivePower]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Abundance Through Time: How Connection and Community Shape Our Well-Being -OUR FRIENDSHIPS"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on the art of making friends)</em>, we delve into the profound relationship between abundance, time, and the human instinct to protect and connect. We discuss how our innate benevolence as a species drives us to help one another and how community and shared experiences create a sense of safety and well-being. From the barriers to education to the complexities of modern survival, this episode explores the challenges and opportunities we face in cultivating abundance—both in resources and in time. Join the conversation as we uncover how friendships and collective effort can transform scarcity into abundance, one connection at a time.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>Humanity, Connection, Benevolence, Survival instinct, Community, Belonging, Abundance, Time management, Friendship, Well-being</p>
<p>#HumanConnection<br />#Benevolence<br />#CommunityMatters<br />#InstinctiveKindness<br />#FeelSafeTogether<br />#BelongingAndAbundance<br />#OurFriendlyWorld</p>
<p>#AbundanceMindset<br />#TimeIsWealth<br />#HumanConnection<br />#CommunityMatters<br />#FriendshipGoals<br />#WellBeingJourney<br />#CollectivePower</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1939302/c1e-r691bj5w5wa2kwko-okwwxr3mt1qd-dun78u.mp3" length="23580929"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt (a podcast on the art of making friends), we delve into the profound relationship between abundance, time, and the human instinct to protect and connect. We discuss how our innate benevolence as a species drives us to help one another and how community and shared experiences create a sense of safety and well-being. From the barriers to education to the complexities of modern survival, this episode explores the challenges and opportunities we face in cultivating abundance—both in resources and in time. Join the conversation as we uncover how friendships and collective effort can transform scarcity into abundance, one connection at a time.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Humanity, Connection, Benevolence, Survival instinct, Community, Belonging, Abundance, Time management, Friendship, Well-being
#HumanConnection#Benevolence#CommunityMatters#InstinctiveKindness#FeelSafeTogether#BelongingAndAbundance#OurFriendlyWorld
#AbundanceMindset#TimeIsWealth#HumanConnection#CommunityMatters#FriendshipGoals#WellBeingJourney#CollectivePower]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1939302/c1a-8j1v-0v55om2pbz8x-8z6wyr.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:24:33</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[You, I Love - How to Love and Be Loved as Friends]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Jan 2025 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1932756</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/you-i-love</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em> explores the subtle dynamics of relationships, from marriage to friendship. Fawn and Matt discuss how selflessness, true empathy, and focusing on the needs and desires of others can transform connections. Inspired by a profound conversation with a friend, they delve into shifting perspectives in love—rethinking "I love you" to "you I love"—and the art of giving authentically. With humor, vulnerability, and insight, Fawn and Matt reflect on how these principles apply to their marriage, friendships, and everyday life.</p>
<p>The conversation dives deep into the nuances of love, relationships, and selflessness. Fawn and Matt explore the differences between friendship and marriage, reflecting on how selfless acts and genuine thoughtfulness can strengthen bonds. Inspired by a recent conversation with a friend, they discuss shifting perspectives from “I love you” to “You I love,” emphasizing the importance of focusing on the needs and happiness of others in meaningful ways. Through humor and heartfelt insights, they share personal anecdotes about learning to listen, compromise, and approach relationships with intention and care.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#RelationshipGoals, #MarriageWisdom, #FriendshipMatters, #EmpathyInAction, #AuthenticConnections, #Selflessness, #LoveAndRelationships</p>
<p>Relationships, Selflessness, Friendship, Marriage dynamics, Empathy, Authentic love, Connection transformation</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt explores the subtle dynamics of relationships, from marriage to friendship. Fawn and Matt discuss how selflessness, true empathy, and focusing on the needs and desires of others can transform connections. Inspired by a profound conversation with a friend, they delve into shifting perspectives in love—rethinking "I love you" to "you I love"—and the art of giving authentically. With humor, vulnerability, and insight, Fawn and Matt reflect on how these principles apply to their marriage, friendships, and everyday life.
The conversation dives deep into the nuances of love, relationships, and selflessness. Fawn and Matt explore the differences between friendship and marriage, reflecting on how selfless acts and genuine thoughtfulness can strengthen bonds. Inspired by a recent conversation with a friend, they discuss shifting perspectives from “I love you” to “You I love,” emphasizing the importance of focusing on the needs and happiness of others in meaningful ways. Through humor and heartfelt insights, they share personal anecdotes about learning to listen, compromise, and approach relationships with intention and care.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#RelationshipGoals, #MarriageWisdom, #FriendshipMatters, #EmpathyInAction, #AuthenticConnections, #Selflessness, #LoveAndRelationships
Relationships, Selflessness, Friendship, Marriage dynamics, Empathy, Authentic love, Connection transformation
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[You, I Love - How to Love and Be Loved as Friends]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em> explores the subtle dynamics of relationships, from marriage to friendship. Fawn and Matt discuss how selflessness, true empathy, and focusing on the needs and desires of others can transform connections. Inspired by a profound conversation with a friend, they delve into shifting perspectives in love—rethinking "I love you" to "you I love"—and the art of giving authentically. With humor, vulnerability, and insight, Fawn and Matt reflect on how these principles apply to their marriage, friendships, and everyday life.</p>
<p>The conversation dives deep into the nuances of love, relationships, and selflessness. Fawn and Matt explore the differences between friendship and marriage, reflecting on how selfless acts and genuine thoughtfulness can strengthen bonds. Inspired by a recent conversation with a friend, they discuss shifting perspectives from “I love you” to “You I love,” emphasizing the importance of focusing on the needs and happiness of others in meaningful ways. Through humor and heartfelt insights, they share personal anecdotes about learning to listen, compromise, and approach relationships with intention and care.<br /><br />Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.</p>
<p>#RelationshipGoals, #MarriageWisdom, #FriendshipMatters, #EmpathyInAction, #AuthenticConnections, #Selflessness, #LoveAndRelationships</p>
<p>Relationships, Selflessness, Friendship, Marriage dynamics, Empathy, Authentic love, Connection transformation</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt explores the subtle dynamics of relationships, from marriage to friendship. Fawn and Matt discuss how selflessness, true empathy, and focusing on the needs and desires of others can transform connections. Inspired by a profound conversation with a friend, they delve into shifting perspectives in love—rethinking "I love you" to "you I love"—and the art of giving authentically. With humor, vulnerability, and insight, Fawn and Matt reflect on how these principles apply to their marriage, friendships, and everyday life.
The conversation dives deep into the nuances of love, relationships, and selflessness. Fawn and Matt explore the differences between friendship and marriage, reflecting on how selfless acts and genuine thoughtfulness can strengthen bonds. Inspired by a recent conversation with a friend, they discuss shifting perspectives from “I love you” to “You I love,” emphasizing the importance of focusing on the needs and happiness of others in meaningful ways. Through humor and heartfelt insights, they share personal anecdotes about learning to listen, compromise, and approach relationships with intention and care.Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt is a podcast about friendship, human connection, and meaningful conversation. Each episode explores trust, empathy, boundaries, and what it truly means to understand one another. Listen to stories, reflections, and insights that help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
#RelationshipGoals, #MarriageWisdom, #FriendshipMatters, #EmpathyInAction, #AuthenticConnections, #Selflessness, #LoveAndRelationships
Relationships, Selflessness, Friendship, Marriage dynamics, Empathy, Authentic love, Connection transformation
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1932756/c1a-8j1v-6zwk6rnku314-sbiw5e.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["A New Era - The Philosophy of Friendship: Wisdom on Building Meaningful Connections"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Dec 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1931257</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/a-new-era-the-philosophy-of-friendship-wisdom-on-building-meaningful-connections</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>This Week’s Episode Description: "A New Era"</strong></span></p>
<p>In this reflective episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we embark on a journey into a new chapter, revisiting the essence of friendship through the lens of Aristotle's teachings. Fawn and Matt discuss the three types of friendships—transactional, pleasure-based, and virtuous—and how recognizing these distinctions can deepen our connections. Drawing from four and a half years of exploration, they emphasize the transformative power of true friendships in shaping not only our personal lives but also society at large. This episode invites listeners to reflect, reevaluate, and move forward with a clearer understanding of the vital role friendship plays in fostering a more connected and compassionate world.</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>Friendship philosophy, Aristotle on friendship, Three types of friendships, Virtue in relationships, Importance of connection, Transforming friendships, Friendship dynamics</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#FriendshipMatters, #ConnectionIsKey, #AristotleWisdom, #VirtuousLiving, #RelationshipGoals, #BuildingFriendship, #MeaningfulConnections</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This Week’s Episode Description: "A New Era"
In this reflective episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we embark on a journey into a new chapter, revisiting the essence of friendship through the lens of Aristotle's teachings. Fawn and Matt discuss the three types of friendships—transactional, pleasure-based, and virtuous—and how recognizing these distinctions can deepen our connections. Drawing from four and a half years of exploration, they emphasize the transformative power of true friendships in shaping not only our personal lives but also society at large. This episode invites listeners to reflect, reevaluate, and move forward with a clearer understanding of the vital role friendship plays in fostering a more connected and compassionate world.

Friendship philosophy, Aristotle on friendship, Three types of friendships, Virtue in relationships, Importance of connection, Transforming friendships, Friendship dynamics

#FriendshipMatters, #ConnectionIsKey, #AristotleWisdom, #VirtuousLiving, #RelationshipGoals, #BuildingFriendship, #MeaningfulConnections
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["A New Era - The Philosophy of Friendship: Wisdom on Building Meaningful Connections"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>This Week’s Episode Description: "A New Era"</strong></span></p>
<p>In this reflective episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we embark on a journey into a new chapter, revisiting the essence of friendship through the lens of Aristotle's teachings. Fawn and Matt discuss the three types of friendships—transactional, pleasure-based, and virtuous—and how recognizing these distinctions can deepen our connections. Drawing from four and a half years of exploration, they emphasize the transformative power of true friendships in shaping not only our personal lives but also society at large. This episode invites listeners to reflect, reevaluate, and move forward with a clearer understanding of the vital role friendship plays in fostering a more connected and compassionate world.</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>Friendship philosophy, Aristotle on friendship, Three types of friendships, Virtue in relationships, Importance of connection, Transforming friendships, Friendship dynamics</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#FriendshipMatters, #ConnectionIsKey, #AristotleWisdom, #VirtuousLiving, #RelationshipGoals, #BuildingFriendship, #MeaningfulConnections</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1931257/c1e-z08nsmknr2aokrk9-5zk5g7z4ho9-2wkzbs.mp3" length="15667285"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This Week’s Episode Description: "A New Era"
In this reflective episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we embark on a journey into a new chapter, revisiting the essence of friendship through the lens of Aristotle's teachings. Fawn and Matt discuss the three types of friendships—transactional, pleasure-based, and virtuous—and how recognizing these distinctions can deepen our connections. Drawing from four and a half years of exploration, they emphasize the transformative power of true friendships in shaping not only our personal lives but also society at large. This episode invites listeners to reflect, reevaluate, and move forward with a clearer understanding of the vital role friendship plays in fostering a more connected and compassionate world.

Friendship philosophy, Aristotle on friendship, Three types of friendships, Virtue in relationships, Importance of connection, Transforming friendships, Friendship dynamics

#FriendshipMatters, #ConnectionIsKey, #AristotleWisdom, #VirtuousLiving, #RelationshipGoals, #BuildingFriendship, #MeaningfulConnections
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1931257/c1a-8j1v-0v2rdzv1f28k-eow6yl.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:16:19</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Advice from a Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Dec 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1925328</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/advice-from-a-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week on <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we dive into the complexities of seeking support and advice in a fast-paced, isolating world. Through candid conversations, Fawn and Matt explore the challenges of fostering emotional connections, finding accountability in community, and navigating the loneliness epidemic. With heartfelt reflections on vulnerability, humility, and the power of collaboration, they highlight the importance of interdependence and small moments of recognition in building stronger, more empathetic relationships. Tune in for an honest and relatable discussion on the courage it takes to grow through life's challenges together. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Emotional connections, </span>Accountability in community, Navigating loneliness, Interdependence in relationships, Vulnerability and humility, Building empathy, Overcoming isolation</p>
<p><br />#EmotionalConnection<br />#CommunityAccountability<br />#EndLoneliness<br />#InterdependenceMatters<br />#VulnerabilityIsStrength<br />#EmpathyInAction<br />#OvercomingIsolation</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we dive into the complexities of seeking support and advice in a fast-paced, isolating world. Through candid conversations, Fawn and Matt explore the challenges of fostering emotional connections, finding accountability in community, and navigating the loneliness epidemic. With heartfelt reflections on vulnerability, humility, and the power of collaboration, they highlight the importance of interdependence and small moments of recognition in building stronger, more empathetic relationships. Tune in for an honest and relatable discussion on the courage it takes to grow through life's challenges together. 

Emotional connections, Accountability in community, Navigating loneliness, Interdependence in relationships, Vulnerability and humility, Building empathy, Overcoming isolation
#EmotionalConnection#CommunityAccountability#EndLoneliness#InterdependenceMatters#VulnerabilityIsStrength#EmpathyInAction#OvercomingIsolation]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Advice from a Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week on <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we dive into the complexities of seeking support and advice in a fast-paced, isolating world. Through candid conversations, Fawn and Matt explore the challenges of fostering emotional connections, finding accountability in community, and navigating the loneliness epidemic. With heartfelt reflections on vulnerability, humility, and the power of collaboration, they highlight the importance of interdependence and small moments of recognition in building stronger, more empathetic relationships. Tune in for an honest and relatable discussion on the courage it takes to grow through life's challenges together. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Emotional connections, </span>Accountability in community, Navigating loneliness, Interdependence in relationships, Vulnerability and humility, Building empathy, Overcoming isolation</p>
<p><br />#EmotionalConnection<br />#CommunityAccountability<br />#EndLoneliness<br />#InterdependenceMatters<br />#VulnerabilityIsStrength<br />#EmpathyInAction<br />#OvercomingIsolation</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1925328/c1e-k6v3bj5g3mc9414v-8d9kqkw5tpg0-vpkhux.mp3" length="34464581"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we dive into the complexities of seeking support and advice in a fast-paced, isolating world. Through candid conversations, Fawn and Matt explore the challenges of fostering emotional connections, finding accountability in community, and navigating the loneliness epidemic. With heartfelt reflections on vulnerability, humility, and the power of collaboration, they highlight the importance of interdependence and small moments of recognition in building stronger, more empathetic relationships. Tune in for an honest and relatable discussion on the courage it takes to grow through life's challenges together. 

Emotional connections, Accountability in community, Navigating loneliness, Interdependence in relationships, Vulnerability and humility, Building empathy, Overcoming isolation
#EmotionalConnection#CommunityAccountability#EndLoneliness#InterdependenceMatters#VulnerabilityIsStrength#EmpathyInAction#OvercomingIsolation]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1925328/c1a-8j1v-9j0dqdndsjw2-xdvvos.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:35:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Unlocking the Power of Giving Love, Gratitude, and Connection in Relationships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Dec 2024 06:11:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1921487</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/unlocking-the-power-of-giving-love-gratitude-and-connection-in-relationships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">"Unlocking the Power of Giving: Love, Gratitude, and Connection in Relationships"</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt: </em>explore the art of giving and receiving, self-reflection, and the power of gratitude in our relationships and personal lives. Fawn shares affirmations to help listeners feel safe and loved, while Matt emphasizes the importance of appreciating and connecting with our physical bodies. Together, they discuss the joy and challenges of sharing with others, how to embrace our unique roles in life, and why focusing on what we want can transform our reality. Tune in for heartfelt insights and a reminder that we’re all interconnected, growing stronger together. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Gratitude, </span>Relationships, Love and connection, Giving and receiving, Self-reflection, Personal growth, Interconnectedness</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#GratitudeJourney, #LoveAndConnection, #GivingAndReceiving, #SelfReflection, #PersonalGrowth, #Interconnectedness, <span style="font-size:medium;">#FriendshipGoals</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[
"Unlocking the Power of Giving: Love, Gratitude, and Connection in Relationships"

In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt: explore the art of giving and receiving, self-reflection, and the power of gratitude in our relationships and personal lives. Fawn shares affirmations to help listeners feel safe and loved, while Matt emphasizes the importance of appreciating and connecting with our physical bodies. Together, they discuss the joy and challenges of sharing with others, how to embrace our unique roles in life, and why focusing on what we want can transform our reality. Tune in for heartfelt insights and a reminder that we’re all interconnected, growing stronger together. 
Gratitude, Relationships, Love and connection, Giving and receiving, Self-reflection, Personal growth, Interconnectedness

#GratitudeJourney, #LoveAndConnection, #GivingAndReceiving, #SelfReflection, #PersonalGrowth, #Interconnectedness, #FriendshipGoals
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Unlocking the Power of Giving Love, Gratitude, and Connection in Relationships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">"Unlocking the Power of Giving: Love, Gratitude, and Connection in Relationships"</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt: </em>explore the art of giving and receiving, self-reflection, and the power of gratitude in our relationships and personal lives. Fawn shares affirmations to help listeners feel safe and loved, while Matt emphasizes the importance of appreciating and connecting with our physical bodies. Together, they discuss the joy and challenges of sharing with others, how to embrace our unique roles in life, and why focusing on what we want can transform our reality. Tune in for heartfelt insights and a reminder that we’re all interconnected, growing stronger together. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Gratitude, </span>Relationships, Love and connection, Giving and receiving, Self-reflection, Personal growth, Interconnectedness</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#GratitudeJourney, #LoveAndConnection, #GivingAndReceiving, #SelfReflection, #PersonalGrowth, #Interconnectedness, <span style="font-size:medium;">#FriendshipGoals</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1921487/c1e-o6xnbv3686c8n09d-9j06j7d2i2qp-afpebc.mp3" length="9810434"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[
"Unlocking the Power of Giving: Love, Gratitude, and Connection in Relationships"

In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt: explore the art of giving and receiving, self-reflection, and the power of gratitude in our relationships and personal lives. Fawn shares affirmations to help listeners feel safe and loved, while Matt emphasizes the importance of appreciating and connecting with our physical bodies. Together, they discuss the joy and challenges of sharing with others, how to embrace our unique roles in life, and why focusing on what we want can transform our reality. Tune in for heartfelt insights and a reminder that we’re all interconnected, growing stronger together. 
Gratitude, Relationships, Love and connection, Giving and receiving, Self-reflection, Personal growth, Interconnectedness

#GratitudeJourney, #LoveAndConnection, #GivingAndReceiving, #SelfReflection, #PersonalGrowth, #Interconnectedness, #FriendshipGoals
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1921487/c1a-8j1v-jpjmpr9pi503-kmdulz.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:10:13</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Friendly Encouragement"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Dec 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1917368</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendly-encouragement</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This Week's Episode: "Friendly Encouragement"</strong><br />In this uplifting mini-episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we share reminders to boost your spirits and rekindle your belief in limitless possibilities. From the affirmations adorning our home walls to insights on the power of clear thinking and manifestation, we explore how your mindset shapes your experience. Whether you're navigating life's challenges or savoring moments of solitude, you'll find encouragement to embrace your sacred space and trust that you have everything you need. Tune in for a gentle yet powerful nudge toward emotional balance, self-assurance, and the art of meaningful connection. #FriendlyEncouragement #MindsetMatters #ManifestYourDreams #SacredSpace #LimitlessPossibilities </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This Week's Episode: "Friendly Encouragement"In this uplifting mini-episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we share reminders to boost your spirits and rekindle your belief in limitless possibilities. From the affirmations adorning our home walls to insights on the power of clear thinking and manifestation, we explore how your mindset shapes your experience. Whether you're navigating life's challenges or savoring moments of solitude, you'll find encouragement to embrace your sacred space and trust that you have everything you need. Tune in for a gentle yet powerful nudge toward emotional balance, self-assurance, and the art of meaningful connection. #FriendlyEncouragement #MindsetMatters #ManifestYourDreams #SacredSpace #LimitlessPossibilities ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Friendly Encouragement"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This Week's Episode: "Friendly Encouragement"</strong><br />In this uplifting mini-episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we share reminders to boost your spirits and rekindle your belief in limitless possibilities. From the affirmations adorning our home walls to insights on the power of clear thinking and manifestation, we explore how your mindset shapes your experience. Whether you're navigating life's challenges or savoring moments of solitude, you'll find encouragement to embrace your sacred space and trust that you have everything you need. Tune in for a gentle yet powerful nudge toward emotional balance, self-assurance, and the art of meaningful connection. #FriendlyEncouragement #MindsetMatters #ManifestYourDreams #SacredSpace #LimitlessPossibilities </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1917368/c1e-o6xnbv343nf8n09v-6zwgrndotv3-rtugmy.mp3" length="10319929"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This Week's Episode: "Friendly Encouragement"In this uplifting mini-episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we share reminders to boost your spirits and rekindle your belief in limitless possibilities. From the affirmations adorning our home walls to insights on the power of clear thinking and manifestation, we explore how your mindset shapes your experience. Whether you're navigating life's challenges or savoring moments of solitude, you'll find encouragement to embrace your sacred space and trust that you have everything you need. Tune in for a gentle yet powerful nudge toward emotional balance, self-assurance, and the art of meaningful connection. #FriendlyEncouragement #MindsetMatters #ManifestYourDreams #SacredSpace #LimitlessPossibilities ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1917368/c1a-8j1v-kpdzqk24i755-pt19tm.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:10:44</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“Redefining Connection, Accountability, and Everyday Compassion”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Dec 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1911879</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/redefining-connection-accountability-and-everyday-compassion</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left">“<span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Redefining Connection, Accountability, and Everyday Compassion”</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Fawn and Matt explore the interplay between societal norms, personal accountability, and human connection. They reflect on the nuances of behavior—distinguishing between evil and poor conduct—while emphasizing the ripple effect of familial and societal influence.</span></p>
<p>Fawn shares personal stories, from witnessing unchecked behavior in children to navigating feelings of invisibility and cultural assumptions in various towns. These experiences highlight how small acts of kindness—or neglect—can leave lasting impressions. Meanwhile, Matt sheds light on the evolving gig economy, urging compassion and recognition for the people contributing behind the scenes.</p>
<p>The episode concludes on a hopeful note: a call to action for kindness, gratitude, and fostering connections, with Fawn and Matt advocating for meaningful gestures that uplift others and create positive change.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Kindness, Accountability, Human Connection, Gig Economy, Cultural Awareness, Random Acts of Kindness, Compassion</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#KindnessMatters, #SpreadLove, #HumanConnection, #GigEconomyLife, #CompassionOverJudgment, #ActsOfKindness, #CulturalAwareness</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Small Acts, Big Impact: How Kindness and Accountability Shape Our World</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>From Invisible to Empowered: Embracing Compassion in Everyday Life</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Redefining Human Values: The Role of Kindness and Responsibility in Modern Society</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Why Compassion Matters: Reclaiming Accountability in a Changing World</strong></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[
“Redefining Connection, Accountability, and Everyday Compassion”
Fawn and Matt explore the interplay between societal norms, personal accountability, and human connection. They reflect on the nuances of behavior—distinguishing between evil and poor conduct—while emphasizing the ripple effect of familial and societal influence.
Fawn shares personal stories, from witnessing unchecked behavior in children to navigating feelings of invisibility and cultural assumptions in various towns. These experiences highlight how small acts of kindness—or neglect—can leave lasting impressions. Meanwhile, Matt sheds light on the evolving gig economy, urging compassion and recognition for the people contributing behind the scenes.
The episode concludes on a hopeful note: a call to action for kindness, gratitude, and fostering connections, with Fawn and Matt advocating for meaningful gestures that uplift others and create positive change.

Kindness, Accountability, Human Connection, Gig Economy, Cultural Awareness, Random Acts of Kindness, Compassion

#KindnessMatters, #SpreadLove, #HumanConnection, #GigEconomyLife, #CompassionOverJudgment, #ActsOfKindness, #CulturalAwareness
 
 
Small Acts, Big Impact: How Kindness and Accountability Shape Our World
 
From Invisible to Empowered: Embracing Compassion in Everyday Life
 
Redefining Human Values: The Role of Kindness and Responsibility in Modern Society
 
Why Compassion Matters: Reclaiming Accountability in a Changing World]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“Redefining Connection, Accountability, and Everyday Compassion”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left">“<span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Redefining Connection, Accountability, and Everyday Compassion”</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Fawn and Matt explore the interplay between societal norms, personal accountability, and human connection. They reflect on the nuances of behavior—distinguishing between evil and poor conduct—while emphasizing the ripple effect of familial and societal influence.</span></p>
<p>Fawn shares personal stories, from witnessing unchecked behavior in children to navigating feelings of invisibility and cultural assumptions in various towns. These experiences highlight how small acts of kindness—or neglect—can leave lasting impressions. Meanwhile, Matt sheds light on the evolving gig economy, urging compassion and recognition for the people contributing behind the scenes.</p>
<p>The episode concludes on a hopeful note: a call to action for kindness, gratitude, and fostering connections, with Fawn and Matt advocating for meaningful gestures that uplift others and create positive change.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Kindness, Accountability, Human Connection, Gig Economy, Cultural Awareness, Random Acts of Kindness, Compassion</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#KindnessMatters, #SpreadLove, #HumanConnection, #GigEconomyLife, #CompassionOverJudgment, #ActsOfKindness, #CulturalAwareness</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Small Acts, Big Impact: How Kindness and Accountability Shape Our World</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>From Invisible to Empowered: Embracing Compassion in Everyday Life</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Redefining Human Values: The Role of Kindness and Responsibility in Modern Society</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Why Compassion Matters: Reclaiming Accountability in a Changing World</strong></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1911879/c1e-5jn4amj7m6a0xm5j-6zwjg0vgan2w-ifqwza.mp3" length="28593522"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[
“Redefining Connection, Accountability, and Everyday Compassion”
Fawn and Matt explore the interplay between societal norms, personal accountability, and human connection. They reflect on the nuances of behavior—distinguishing between evil and poor conduct—while emphasizing the ripple effect of familial and societal influence.
Fawn shares personal stories, from witnessing unchecked behavior in children to navigating feelings of invisibility and cultural assumptions in various towns. These experiences highlight how small acts of kindness—or neglect—can leave lasting impressions. Meanwhile, Matt sheds light on the evolving gig economy, urging compassion and recognition for the people contributing behind the scenes.
The episode concludes on a hopeful note: a call to action for kindness, gratitude, and fostering connections, with Fawn and Matt advocating for meaningful gestures that uplift others and create positive change.

Kindness, Accountability, Human Connection, Gig Economy, Cultural Awareness, Random Acts of Kindness, Compassion

#KindnessMatters, #SpreadLove, #HumanConnection, #GigEconomyLife, #CompassionOverJudgment, #ActsOfKindness, #CulturalAwareness
 
 
Small Acts, Big Impact: How Kindness and Accountability Shape Our World
 
From Invisible to Empowered: Embracing Compassion in Everyday Life
 
Redefining Human Values: The Role of Kindness and Responsibility in Modern Society
 
Why Compassion Matters: Reclaiming Accountability in a Changing World]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1911879/c1a-8j1v-jpj61kr5i7qm-upigdt.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:47</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[AI and the Seven Deadly Sins]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 25 Nov 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1907392</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/ai-and-the-seven-deadly-sins</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">In this week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, the hosts delve into the duality of automation and AI—balancing efficiency with authenticity. From homemade meals to AI-generated music, they discuss how human touch influences the quality and depth of our experiences. The conversation explores themes of creativity, human connection, and the potential for AI to free us for deeper relationships or, conversely, encourage isolation.</span></p>
<p>Fawn argues for embracing evolving consciousness and compassion to guide technology toward utopian outcomes, while Matt examines societal tendencies toward laziness and over-reliance. They reflect on how exposure to real-world challenges fosters emotional resilience and adaptability. Ultimately, the episode inspires hope for a harmonious coexistence between humanity and technology while recognizing the need for responsible AI use.</p>
<p><strong>Key Themes:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The importance of human connection in a tech-driven world</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Balancing convenience with preserving creativity and craftsmanship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fostering resilience through real-world experiences</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI as both a tool for growth and a potential isolating force</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>#HumanConnection, #MindfulLiving, #CompassionInAction, #AuthenticRelationships, #BuildingCommunity, #FriendshipMatters, #EmpathyFirst</strong></p>
<p>a key to moving towards a Utopian society</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, the hosts delve into the duality of automation and AI—balancing efficiency with authenticity. From homemade meals to AI-generated music, they discuss how human touch influences the quality and depth of our experiences. The conversation explores themes of creativity, human connection, and the potential for AI to free us for deeper relationships or, conversely, encourage isolation.
Fawn argues for embracing evolving consciousness and compassion to guide technology toward utopian outcomes, while Matt examines societal tendencies toward laziness and over-reliance. They reflect on how exposure to real-world challenges fosters emotional resilience and adaptability. Ultimately, the episode inspires hope for a harmonious coexistence between humanity and technology while recognizing the need for responsible AI use.
Key Themes:


The importance of human connection in a tech-driven world


Balancing convenience with preserving creativity and craftsmanship


Fostering resilience through real-world experiences


AI as both a tool for growth and a potential isolating force


#HumanConnection, #MindfulLiving, #CompassionInAction, #AuthenticRelationships, #BuildingCommunity, #FriendshipMatters, #EmpathyFirst
a key to moving towards a Utopian society]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[AI and the Seven Deadly Sins]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">In this week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, the hosts delve into the duality of automation and AI—balancing efficiency with authenticity. From homemade meals to AI-generated music, they discuss how human touch influences the quality and depth of our experiences. The conversation explores themes of creativity, human connection, and the potential for AI to free us for deeper relationships or, conversely, encourage isolation.</span></p>
<p>Fawn argues for embracing evolving consciousness and compassion to guide technology toward utopian outcomes, while Matt examines societal tendencies toward laziness and over-reliance. They reflect on how exposure to real-world challenges fosters emotional resilience and adaptability. Ultimately, the episode inspires hope for a harmonious coexistence between humanity and technology while recognizing the need for responsible AI use.</p>
<p><strong>Key Themes:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>The importance of human connection in a tech-driven world</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Balancing convenience with preserving creativity and craftsmanship</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Fostering resilience through real-world experiences</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>AI as both a tool for growth and a potential isolating force</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>#HumanConnection, #MindfulLiving, #CompassionInAction, #AuthenticRelationships, #BuildingCommunity, #FriendshipMatters, #EmpathyFirst</strong></p>
<p>a key to moving towards a Utopian society</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1907392/c1e-0jo1aj5pd2tgm3mw-dm58qq84c7jw-vm9raj.mp3" length="25562468"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, the hosts delve into the duality of automation and AI—balancing efficiency with authenticity. From homemade meals to AI-generated music, they discuss how human touch influences the quality and depth of our experiences. The conversation explores themes of creativity, human connection, and the potential for AI to free us for deeper relationships or, conversely, encourage isolation.
Fawn argues for embracing evolving consciousness and compassion to guide technology toward utopian outcomes, while Matt examines societal tendencies toward laziness and over-reliance. They reflect on how exposure to real-world challenges fosters emotional resilience and adaptability. Ultimately, the episode inspires hope for a harmonious coexistence between humanity and technology while recognizing the need for responsible AI use.
Key Themes:


The importance of human connection in a tech-driven world


Balancing convenience with preserving creativity and craftsmanship


Fostering resilience through real-world experiences


AI as both a tool for growth and a potential isolating force


#HumanConnection, #MindfulLiving, #CompassionInAction, #AuthenticRelationships, #BuildingCommunity, #FriendshipMatters, #EmpathyFirst
a key to moving towards a Utopian society]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1907392/c1a-8j1v-gpk7xx73cxv7-y5ilmp.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:37</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Behind the Words: Exploring Communication, Context, and Connection"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Nov 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1896240</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/behind-the-words-exploring-communication-context-and-connection</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode, Fawn and Matt dive into the complexities of communication and the importance of understanding tone, context, and intent in conversations. They discuss the concept of "rubber ducking," a method of processing thoughts by talking them out, and reflect on how emotions often influence what is said—and unsaid—in relationships. Drawing parallels to acting techniques, they explore how examining motivations and circumstances can reduce misunderstandings and help navigate conflicts with empathy. Fawn shares a personal story about unintentionally offending a friend, emphasizing the importance of not taking things personally and recognizing others' emotional states. With humor and insight, they highlight the need for mutual respect in relationships, reminding listeners of the value of setting boundaries to protect their energy and well-being.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#CommunicationSkills, </span>#EmotionalIntelligence, #HealthyBoundaries, #RelationshipTips, #ActiveListening, #ConflictResolution, #UnderstandingEmotions</p>
<h3 class="western">Communication, Boundaries, Emotional awareness, Conflict management, Rubber ducking, Context in relationships, Empathy</h3>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, Fawn and Matt dive into the complexities of communication and the importance of understanding tone, context, and intent in conversations. They discuss the concept of "rubber ducking," a method of processing thoughts by talking them out, and reflect on how emotions often influence what is said—and unsaid—in relationships. Drawing parallels to acting techniques, they explore how examining motivations and circumstances can reduce misunderstandings and help navigate conflicts with empathy. Fawn shares a personal story about unintentionally offending a friend, emphasizing the importance of not taking things personally and recognizing others' emotional states. With humor and insight, they highlight the need for mutual respect in relationships, reminding listeners of the value of setting boundaries to protect their energy and well-being.
#CommunicationSkills, #EmotionalIntelligence, #HealthyBoundaries, #RelationshipTips, #ActiveListening, #ConflictResolution, #UnderstandingEmotions
Communication, Boundaries, Emotional awareness, Conflict management, Rubber ducking, Context in relationships, Empathy
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Behind the Words: Exploring Communication, Context, and Connection"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode, Fawn and Matt dive into the complexities of communication and the importance of understanding tone, context, and intent in conversations. They discuss the concept of "rubber ducking," a method of processing thoughts by talking them out, and reflect on how emotions often influence what is said—and unsaid—in relationships. Drawing parallels to acting techniques, they explore how examining motivations and circumstances can reduce misunderstandings and help navigate conflicts with empathy. Fawn shares a personal story about unintentionally offending a friend, emphasizing the importance of not taking things personally and recognizing others' emotional states. With humor and insight, they highlight the need for mutual respect in relationships, reminding listeners of the value of setting boundaries to protect their energy and well-being.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#CommunicationSkills, </span>#EmotionalIntelligence, #HealthyBoundaries, #RelationshipTips, #ActiveListening, #ConflictResolution, #UnderstandingEmotions</p>
<h3 class="western">Communication, Boundaries, Emotional awareness, Conflict management, Rubber ducking, Context in relationships, Empathy</h3>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1896240/c1e-m65rbn2z0wiwqk0v-6zw4wj40hjvj-yp7klo.mp3" length="25073053"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, Fawn and Matt dive into the complexities of communication and the importance of understanding tone, context, and intent in conversations. They discuss the concept of "rubber ducking," a method of processing thoughts by talking them out, and reflect on how emotions often influence what is said—and unsaid—in relationships. Drawing parallels to acting techniques, they explore how examining motivations and circumstances can reduce misunderstandings and help navigate conflicts with empathy. Fawn shares a personal story about unintentionally offending a friend, emphasizing the importance of not taking things personally and recognizing others' emotional states. With humor and insight, they highlight the need for mutual respect in relationships, reminding listeners of the value of setting boundaries to protect their energy and well-being.
#CommunicationSkills, #EmotionalIntelligence, #HealthyBoundaries, #RelationshipTips, #ActiveListening, #ConflictResolution, #UnderstandingEmotions
Communication, Boundaries, Emotional awareness, Conflict management, Rubber ducking, Context in relationships, Empathy
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1896240/c1a-8j1v-ok3d36dkcj9r-vv8ely.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:07</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Eye of the Storm]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Nov 2024 02:57:53 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1882084</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/eye-of-the-storm</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode, </span><em><span style="font-size:medium;">Eye of the Storm</span></em><span style="font-size:medium;">, delves into the sense of "stuckness" many feel amid today's relentless pace and societal pressures. Fawn reflects on moments of self-doubt and the weight of overthinking, while Matt shares his recent eye-opening experiences in a high-stress work environment. Together, they discuss the importance of stepping back and re-evaluating priorities, especially when life's pressures make us feel like we're in the "eye of a hurricane." In a culture that demands constant productivity, Fawn and Matt explore the need to protect personal space, avoid burnout, and carve out time for genuine connection and self-reflection. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#EyeOfTheStorm, #MindfulLiving, #OvercomingFear, #PersonalGrowth, #WorkLifeBalance, #SelfReflection, #CreateWithoutLimits</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>self-doubt, mindfulness, stoicism, work culture, resilience, creating without fear, introspection</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode, Eye of the Storm, delves into the sense of "stuckness" many feel amid today's relentless pace and societal pressures. Fawn reflects on moments of self-doubt and the weight of overthinking, while Matt shares his recent eye-opening experiences in a high-stress work environment. Together, they discuss the importance of stepping back and re-evaluating priorities, especially when life's pressures make us feel like we're in the "eye of a hurricane." In a culture that demands constant productivity, Fawn and Matt explore the need to protect personal space, avoid burnout, and carve out time for genuine connection and self-reflection. 

#EyeOfTheStorm, #MindfulLiving, #OvercomingFear, #PersonalGrowth, #WorkLifeBalance, #SelfReflection, #CreateWithoutLimits

self-doubt, mindfulness, stoicism, work culture, resilience, creating without fear, introspection]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Eye of the Storm]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode, </span><em><span style="font-size:medium;">Eye of the Storm</span></em><span style="font-size:medium;">, delves into the sense of "stuckness" many feel amid today's relentless pace and societal pressures. Fawn reflects on moments of self-doubt and the weight of overthinking, while Matt shares his recent eye-opening experiences in a high-stress work environment. Together, they discuss the importance of stepping back and re-evaluating priorities, especially when life's pressures make us feel like we're in the "eye of a hurricane." In a culture that demands constant productivity, Fawn and Matt explore the need to protect personal space, avoid burnout, and carve out time for genuine connection and self-reflection. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#EyeOfTheStorm, #MindfulLiving, #OvercomingFear, #PersonalGrowth, #WorkLifeBalance, #SelfReflection, #CreateWithoutLimits</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>self-doubt, mindfulness, stoicism, work culture, resilience, creating without fear, introspection</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1882084/c1e-w329brgzq9t0gmqw-6zwn99v1uog4-dafmp6.mp3" length="17209575"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode, Eye of the Storm, delves into the sense of "stuckness" many feel amid today's relentless pace and societal pressures. Fawn reflects on moments of self-doubt and the weight of overthinking, while Matt shares his recent eye-opening experiences in a high-stress work environment. Together, they discuss the importance of stepping back and re-evaluating priorities, especially when life's pressures make us feel like we're in the "eye of a hurricane." In a culture that demands constant productivity, Fawn and Matt explore the need to protect personal space, avoid burnout, and carve out time for genuine connection and self-reflection. 

#EyeOfTheStorm, #MindfulLiving, #OvercomingFear, #PersonalGrowth, #WorkLifeBalance, #SelfReflection, #CreateWithoutLimits

self-doubt, mindfulness, stoicism, work culture, resilience, creating without fear, introspection]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1882084/c1a-8j1v-wwmj77dxh302-7matjk.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:17:55</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Rules for Radicals - Mind the Gap]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 03 Nov 2024 14:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1873002</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/rules-for-radicals-mind-the-gap</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode, Fawn and Matt revisit the purpose behind their podcast, reflecting on how friendship and societal relationships have been affected by division and disconnection. Fawn shares personal experiences, starting with childhood memories of observing cultural differences and strained family interactions. She recounts how, as a young child, she sought comfort and guidance from her family’s old photo albums, feeling a connection with ancestors through their portraits, which helped her understand and cope with the negativity around her.</span></p>
<p>The conversation shifts to broader societal issues, with Fawn expressing concerns about forces that seem to undermine genuine relationships and community connections. She mentions her recent discovery of Saul Alinsky's controversial book, <em>Rules for Radicals</em>, which outlines tactics to destabilize systems. The tactics, Fawn suggests, mirror the divisive strategies she's observed over her lifetime. The couple plans to explore these tactics one by one, highlighting how they can prevent unity and affect friendships and communities. Matt and Fawn emphasize that their mission remains to foster healthy relationships, not just by identifying these tactics but by discussing ways to counteract them through awareness and positive action.</p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#OurFriendlyWorldPodcast #FawnAndMatt #RelationshipBoundaries #SocialTactics #Resilience #EmpathyInFriendship #UnityInDiversity #SelfAwareness #UnderstandingCulture </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Relationship boundaries, </span>Social influence tactics, Empathy in friendships, Personal resilience, Cultural dynamics, Collective mindset, Self-awareness and unity</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, Fawn and Matt revisit the purpose behind their podcast, reflecting on how friendship and societal relationships have been affected by division and disconnection. Fawn shares personal experiences, starting with childhood memories of observing cultural differences and strained family interactions. She recounts how, as a young child, she sought comfort and guidance from her family’s old photo albums, feeling a connection with ancestors through their portraits, which helped her understand and cope with the negativity around her.
The conversation shifts to broader societal issues, with Fawn expressing concerns about forces that seem to undermine genuine relationships and community connections. She mentions her recent discovery of Saul Alinsky's controversial book, Rules for Radicals, which outlines tactics to destabilize systems. The tactics, Fawn suggests, mirror the divisive strategies she's observed over her lifetime. The couple plans to explore these tactics one by one, highlighting how they can prevent unity and affect friendships and communities. Matt and Fawn emphasize that their mission remains to foster healthy relationships, not just by identifying these tactics but by discussing ways to counteract them through awareness and positive action.
#OurFriendlyWorldPodcast #FawnAndMatt #RelationshipBoundaries #SocialTactics #Resilience #EmpathyInFriendship #UnityInDiversity #SelfAwareness #UnderstandingCulture 
Relationship boundaries, Social influence tactics, Empathy in friendships, Personal resilience, Cultural dynamics, Collective mindset, Self-awareness and unity]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Rules for Radicals - Mind the Gap]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode, Fawn and Matt revisit the purpose behind their podcast, reflecting on how friendship and societal relationships have been affected by division and disconnection. Fawn shares personal experiences, starting with childhood memories of observing cultural differences and strained family interactions. She recounts how, as a young child, she sought comfort and guidance from her family’s old photo albums, feeling a connection with ancestors through their portraits, which helped her understand and cope with the negativity around her.</span></p>
<p>The conversation shifts to broader societal issues, with Fawn expressing concerns about forces that seem to undermine genuine relationships and community connections. She mentions her recent discovery of Saul Alinsky's controversial book, <em>Rules for Radicals</em>, which outlines tactics to destabilize systems. The tactics, Fawn suggests, mirror the divisive strategies she's observed over her lifetime. The couple plans to explore these tactics one by one, highlighting how they can prevent unity and affect friendships and communities. Matt and Fawn emphasize that their mission remains to foster healthy relationships, not just by identifying these tactics but by discussing ways to counteract them through awareness and positive action.</p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#OurFriendlyWorldPodcast #FawnAndMatt #RelationshipBoundaries #SocialTactics #Resilience #EmpathyInFriendship #UnityInDiversity #SelfAwareness #UnderstandingCulture </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Relationship boundaries, </span>Social influence tactics, Empathy in friendships, Personal resilience, Cultural dynamics, Collective mindset, Self-awareness and unity</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1873002/c1e-1j3zaj6okzsxv90o-34g37nrwhjm-jl1hgr.mp3" length="40881115"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode, Fawn and Matt revisit the purpose behind their podcast, reflecting on how friendship and societal relationships have been affected by division and disconnection. Fawn shares personal experiences, starting with childhood memories of observing cultural differences and strained family interactions. She recounts how, as a young child, she sought comfort and guidance from her family’s old photo albums, feeling a connection with ancestors through their portraits, which helped her understand and cope with the negativity around her.
The conversation shifts to broader societal issues, with Fawn expressing concerns about forces that seem to undermine genuine relationships and community connections. She mentions her recent discovery of Saul Alinsky's controversial book, Rules for Radicals, which outlines tactics to destabilize systems. The tactics, Fawn suggests, mirror the divisive strategies she's observed over her lifetime. The couple plans to explore these tactics one by one, highlighting how they can prevent unity and affect friendships and communities. Matt and Fawn emphasize that their mission remains to foster healthy relationships, not just by identifying these tactics but by discussing ways to counteract them through awareness and positive action.
#OurFriendlyWorldPodcast #FawnAndMatt #RelationshipBoundaries #SocialTactics #Resilience #EmpathyInFriendship #UnityInDiversity #SelfAwareness #UnderstandingCulture 
Relationship boundaries, Social influence tactics, Empathy in friendships, Personal resilience, Cultural dynamics, Collective mindset, Self-awareness and unity]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1873002/c1a-8j1v-6zw031mgh6k-ilhkew.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:42:35</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Connoisseuring Something Awful, finding beauty and humor in the unexpected and unappealing]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Oct 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1868215</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connoisseuring-something-awful-finding-beauty-and-humor-in-the-unexpected-and-unappealing</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong><span style="font-size:small;">This week's episode, </span></strong><em><span style="font-size:small;">Connoisseuring Something Awful,</span></em><strong><span style="font-size:small;"> explores finding beauty and humor in the unexpected and unappealing. Fawn shares an excerpt from </span></strong><em><span style="font-size:small;">The Art of Noticing</span></em><strong><span style="font-size:small;"> and reflects on Timothy "Speed" Levitch’s philosophy of "cruising" through life, savoring even the most mundane or annoying experiences. Matt and Fawn then discuss their own experiences with embracing "awful" things—like watching bad movies for the joy of laughing at them. The conversation dives into reframing negativity, with Fawn recalling her college professor's poetic perspective on crowded spaces and her own tendency to "connoisseur" life's little annoyances. Together, they examine how adopting a playful mindset allows us to handle life’s frustrations with greater grace and humor. </span></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Mindful Observation, </span></strong><strong>Urban Life Humor, Appreciating Imperfection, Commuter Consciousness, Timothy Levitch Insights, Finding Joy in Chaos, Urban Mindfulness</strong></p>
<p>#MindfulLiving, #UrbanMindfulness, #FindBeautyInEverything, #LifeIsArt, #CreativityEveryday, #EmbraceImperfection, #CommuterLife</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode, Connoisseuring Something Awful, explores finding beauty and humor in the unexpected and unappealing. Fawn shares an excerpt from The Art of Noticing and reflects on Timothy "Speed" Levitch’s philosophy of "cruising" through life, savoring even the most mundane or annoying experiences. Matt and Fawn then discuss their own experiences with embracing "awful" things—like watching bad movies for the joy of laughing at them. The conversation dives into reframing negativity, with Fawn recalling her college professor's poetic perspective on crowded spaces and her own tendency to "connoisseur" life's little annoyances. Together, they examine how adopting a playful mindset allows us to handle life’s frustrations with greater grace and humor. 
 
Mindful Observation, Urban Life Humor, Appreciating Imperfection, Commuter Consciousness, Timothy Levitch Insights, Finding Joy in Chaos, Urban Mindfulness
#MindfulLiving, #UrbanMindfulness, #FindBeautyInEverything, #LifeIsArt, #CreativityEveryday, #EmbraceImperfection, #CommuterLife
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Connoisseuring Something Awful, finding beauty and humor in the unexpected and unappealing]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong><span style="font-size:small;">This week's episode, </span></strong><em><span style="font-size:small;">Connoisseuring Something Awful,</span></em><strong><span style="font-size:small;"> explores finding beauty and humor in the unexpected and unappealing. Fawn shares an excerpt from </span></strong><em><span style="font-size:small;">The Art of Noticing</span></em><strong><span style="font-size:small;"> and reflects on Timothy "Speed" Levitch’s philosophy of "cruising" through life, savoring even the most mundane or annoying experiences. Matt and Fawn then discuss their own experiences with embracing "awful" things—like watching bad movies for the joy of laughing at them. The conversation dives into reframing negativity, with Fawn recalling her college professor's poetic perspective on crowded spaces and her own tendency to "connoisseur" life's little annoyances. Together, they examine how adopting a playful mindset allows us to handle life’s frustrations with greater grace and humor. </span></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Mindful Observation, </span></strong><strong>Urban Life Humor, Appreciating Imperfection, Commuter Consciousness, Timothy Levitch Insights, Finding Joy in Chaos, Urban Mindfulness</strong></p>
<p>#MindfulLiving, #UrbanMindfulness, #FindBeautyInEverything, #LifeIsArt, #CreativityEveryday, #EmbraceImperfection, #CommuterLife</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1868215/c1e-8j1va92qmvb1d820-0v29qd6xs6r8-savbbk.mp3" length="18404518"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode, Connoisseuring Something Awful, explores finding beauty and humor in the unexpected and unappealing. Fawn shares an excerpt from The Art of Noticing and reflects on Timothy "Speed" Levitch’s philosophy of "cruising" through life, savoring even the most mundane or annoying experiences. Matt and Fawn then discuss their own experiences with embracing "awful" things—like watching bad movies for the joy of laughing at them. The conversation dives into reframing negativity, with Fawn recalling her college professor's poetic perspective on crowded spaces and her own tendency to "connoisseur" life's little annoyances. Together, they examine how adopting a playful mindset allows us to handle life’s frustrations with greater grace and humor. 
 
Mindful Observation, Urban Life Humor, Appreciating Imperfection, Commuter Consciousness, Timothy Levitch Insights, Finding Joy in Chaos, Urban Mindfulness
#MindfulLiving, #UrbanMindfulness, #FindBeautyInEverything, #LifeIsArt, #CreativityEveryday, #EmbraceImperfection, #CommuterLife
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1868215/c1a-8j1v-mk1g20zrf8kp-8jpuqo.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:19:10</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Resistance and Isolation]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Oct 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1863055</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/resistance-and-isolation</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the need for isolation amidst a busy, fast-paced world, while reflecting on the balance between personal time and community connection. They discuss the importance of carving out even just 10 minutes a day for self-reflection, allowing space for deeper understanding and awareness. The episode also touches on the pressures of modern life, how it hampers our ability to nurture friendships and community, and the significance of creating intentional time to slow down. Through lighthearted anecdotes, like tackling a challenging puzzle, they emphasize the importance of both fun and mindfulness in our daily lives. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn and Matt dive into the art of finding balance between personal solitude and meaningful connections with others. They explore how, in a world filled with endless distractions, carving out time for yourself is key to deepening friendships and creating more authentic relationships. By sharing practical tips and personal stories, they reveal how just a few minutes of daily reflection can bring clarity, strengthen bonds, and make room for more joy in life. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to build stronger, more intentional friendships while staying grounded in their own self-care. </span></p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#HealthyBoundaries, #FriendshipGoals, #AuthenticRelationships, #SelfWorthMatters, #PersonalGrowth, #NavigatingFriendships, #EmotionalWellness</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Boundaries in friendships, Setting healthy limits, Authentic communication, Self-worth and relationships, Navigating emotional challenges, Conflict resolution in friendships, Friendship and personal growth</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn and Matt explore the need for isolation amidst a busy, fast-paced world, while reflecting on the balance between personal time and community connection. They discuss the importance of carving out even just 10 minutes a day for self-reflection, allowing space for deeper understanding and awareness. The episode also touches on the pressures of modern life, how it hampers our ability to nurture friendships and community, and the significance of creating intentional time to slow down. Through lighthearted anecdotes, like tackling a challenging puzzle, they emphasize the importance of both fun and mindfulness in our daily lives. 

Fawn and Matt dive into the art of finding balance between personal solitude and meaningful connections with others. They explore how, in a world filled with endless distractions, carving out time for yourself is key to deepening friendships and creating more authentic relationships. By sharing practical tips and personal stories, they reveal how just a few minutes of daily reflection can bring clarity, strengthen bonds, and make room for more joy in life. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to build stronger, more intentional friendships while staying grounded in their own self-care. 

#HealthyBoundaries, #FriendshipGoals, #AuthenticRelationships, #SelfWorthMatters, #PersonalGrowth, #NavigatingFriendships, #EmotionalWellness
 
Boundaries in friendships, Setting healthy limits, Authentic communication, Self-worth and relationships, Navigating emotional challenges, Conflict resolution in friendships, Friendship and personal growth]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Resistance and Isolation]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, Fawn and Matt explore the need for isolation amidst a busy, fast-paced world, while reflecting on the balance between personal time and community connection. They discuss the importance of carving out even just 10 minutes a day for self-reflection, allowing space for deeper understanding and awareness. The episode also touches on the pressures of modern life, how it hampers our ability to nurture friendships and community, and the significance of creating intentional time to slow down. Through lighthearted anecdotes, like tackling a challenging puzzle, they emphasize the importance of both fun and mindfulness in our daily lives. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn and Matt dive into the art of finding balance between personal solitude and meaningful connections with others. They explore how, in a world filled with endless distractions, carving out time for yourself is key to deepening friendships and creating more authentic relationships. By sharing practical tips and personal stories, they reveal how just a few minutes of daily reflection can bring clarity, strengthen bonds, and make room for more joy in life. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to build stronger, more intentional friendships while staying grounded in their own self-care. </span></p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>#HealthyBoundaries, #FriendshipGoals, #AuthenticRelationships, #SelfWorthMatters, #PersonalGrowth, #NavigatingFriendships, #EmotionalWellness</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Boundaries in friendships, Setting healthy limits, Authentic communication, Self-worth and relationships, Navigating emotional challenges, Conflict resolution in friendships, Friendship and personal growth</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1863055/c1e-m65rbn7vj4fwqkq8-qd4o9dnpizqd-sunbve.mp3" length="24389675"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, Fawn and Matt explore the need for isolation amidst a busy, fast-paced world, while reflecting on the balance between personal time and community connection. They discuss the importance of carving out even just 10 minutes a day for self-reflection, allowing space for deeper understanding and awareness. The episode also touches on the pressures of modern life, how it hampers our ability to nurture friendships and community, and the significance of creating intentional time to slow down. Through lighthearted anecdotes, like tackling a challenging puzzle, they emphasize the importance of both fun and mindfulness in our daily lives. 

Fawn and Matt dive into the art of finding balance between personal solitude and meaningful connections with others. They explore how, in a world filled with endless distractions, carving out time for yourself is key to deepening friendships and creating more authentic relationships. By sharing practical tips and personal stories, they reveal how just a few minutes of daily reflection can bring clarity, strengthen bonds, and make room for more joy in life. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to build stronger, more intentional friendships while staying grounded in their own self-care. 

#HealthyBoundaries, #FriendshipGoals, #AuthenticRelationships, #SelfWorthMatters, #PersonalGrowth, #NavigatingFriendships, #EmotionalWellness
 
Boundaries in friendships, Setting healthy limits, Authentic communication, Self-worth and relationships, Navigating emotional challenges, Conflict resolution in friendships, Friendship and personal growth]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1863055/c1a-8j1v-qd4o9dnpi3zr-rrf7ph.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:25:24</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The War on Art and Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Oct 2024 04:22:57 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1857634</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-war-on-art-and-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">This week's episode offers a vulnerable look at how self-doubt can creep in, even during moments of triumph, and the importance of recognizing, naming, and overcoming these inner barriers. Fawn offers her recent personal experience and the duo illustrate how these lessons extend beyond career into relationships and personal growth. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Fawn and Matt delve into the intricate dynamics of boundaries in relationships and the importance of self-worth. They share personal stories and insights about overcoming feelings of unworthiness, navigating vulnerability, and claiming one’s identity. Fawn reflects on a transformative experience in a crowded city, revealing how external pressures prompted an internal dialogue about self-acceptance and self-empowerment. Matt emphasizes the value of recognizing one's worth, despite challenges and past struggles, and the duo discusses how grounding techniques and a strong sense of self can lead to healthier relationships. The conversation is both enlightening and relatable, offering listeners practical tools for building resilience and authenticity in their own lives.</span></p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>The War on Art, Dealing with negative forces, Boundaries, Self-worth, Vulnerability, Resilience, Identity, Empowerment, Relationships</p>
<h3 class="western"><span style="font-size:small;">#WarOnArt, #DealingWithNegativeForces, </span>#Boundaries, #SelfWorth, #Vulnerability, #Resilience, #Identity, #Empowerment, #HealthyRelationships</h3>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode offers a vulnerable look at how self-doubt can creep in, even during moments of triumph, and the importance of recognizing, naming, and overcoming these inner barriers. Fawn offers her recent personal experience and the duo illustrate how these lessons extend beyond career into relationships and personal growth. 
Fawn and Matt delve into the intricate dynamics of boundaries in relationships and the importance of self-worth. They share personal stories and insights about overcoming feelings of unworthiness, navigating vulnerability, and claiming one’s identity. Fawn reflects on a transformative experience in a crowded city, revealing how external pressures prompted an internal dialogue about self-acceptance and self-empowerment. Matt emphasizes the value of recognizing one's worth, despite challenges and past struggles, and the duo discusses how grounding techniques and a strong sense of self can lead to healthier relationships. The conversation is both enlightening and relatable, offering listeners practical tools for building resilience and authenticity in their own lives.

The War on Art, Dealing with negative forces, Boundaries, Self-worth, Vulnerability, Resilience, Identity, Empowerment, Relationships
#WarOnArt, #DealingWithNegativeForces, #Boundaries, #SelfWorth, #Vulnerability, #Resilience, #Identity, #Empowerment, #HealthyRelationships]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The War on Art and Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">This week's episode offers a vulnerable look at how self-doubt can creep in, even during moments of triumph, and the importance of recognizing, naming, and overcoming these inner barriers. Fawn offers her recent personal experience and the duo illustrate how these lessons extend beyond career into relationships and personal growth. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Fawn and Matt delve into the intricate dynamics of boundaries in relationships and the importance of self-worth. They share personal stories and insights about overcoming feelings of unworthiness, navigating vulnerability, and claiming one’s identity. Fawn reflects on a transformative experience in a crowded city, revealing how external pressures prompted an internal dialogue about self-acceptance and self-empowerment. Matt emphasizes the value of recognizing one's worth, despite challenges and past struggles, and the duo discusses how grounding techniques and a strong sense of self can lead to healthier relationships. The conversation is both enlightening and relatable, offering listeners practical tools for building resilience and authenticity in their own lives.</span></p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>
<p>The War on Art, Dealing with negative forces, Boundaries, Self-worth, Vulnerability, Resilience, Identity, Empowerment, Relationships</p>
<h3 class="western"><span style="font-size:small;">#WarOnArt, #DealingWithNegativeForces, </span>#Boundaries, #SelfWorth, #Vulnerability, #Resilience, #Identity, #Empowerment, #HealthyRelationships</h3>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1857634/c1e-k6v3bj3qzva9414v-25k7gvv2skq7-hprcnu.mp3" length="33302236"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode offers a vulnerable look at how self-doubt can creep in, even during moments of triumph, and the importance of recognizing, naming, and overcoming these inner barriers. Fawn offers her recent personal experience and the duo illustrate how these lessons extend beyond career into relationships and personal growth. 
Fawn and Matt delve into the intricate dynamics of boundaries in relationships and the importance of self-worth. They share personal stories and insights about overcoming feelings of unworthiness, navigating vulnerability, and claiming one’s identity. Fawn reflects on a transformative experience in a crowded city, revealing how external pressures prompted an internal dialogue about self-acceptance and self-empowerment. Matt emphasizes the value of recognizing one's worth, despite challenges and past struggles, and the duo discusses how grounding techniques and a strong sense of self can lead to healthier relationships. The conversation is both enlightening and relatable, offering listeners practical tools for building resilience and authenticity in their own lives.

The War on Art, Dealing with negative forces, Boundaries, Self-worth, Vulnerability, Resilience, Identity, Empowerment, Relationships
#WarOnArt, #DealingWithNegativeForces, #Boundaries, #SelfWorth, #Vulnerability, #Resilience, #Identity, #Empowerment, #HealthyRelationships]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1857634/c1a-8j1v-z39d5vvjh9o7-t1aet0.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:34:41</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Expert Syndrome Paradox]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Oct 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1852544</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-expert-syndrome-paradox</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the transformative power of perspective and how it shapes our lives, friendships, and communities. Fawn reflects on her time in Santa Monica, drawing parallels between personal growth and unexpected lessons from the show <em>Emily in Paris</em>. Matt dives into the surprising connections between architecture, software development, and life design, highlighting how everything is interconnected. Together, they unravel the importance of being the expert of your own life, trusting your instincts, and avoiding the influence of false prophets. Tune in for thought-provoking insights, heartwarming stories, and a reminder that the way you focus can change everything. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#PerspectiveShift, </span>#PersonalGrowth, #ExpertOfYourLife, #FriendshipMatters, #LifeLessons, #TransformYourWorld, #Interconnectedness</p>
<h3 class="western"> </h3>
<p>Perspective in life, Personal growth journey, Being your own expert, Friendship and transformation, Changing your focus, Avoiding false prophets, Architecture and life design connection</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the transformative power of perspective and how it shapes our lives, friendships, and communities. Fawn reflects on her time in Santa Monica, drawing parallels between personal growth and unexpected lessons from the show Emily in Paris. Matt dives into the surprising connections between architecture, software development, and life design, highlighting how everything is interconnected. Together, they unravel the importance of being the expert of your own life, trusting your instincts, and avoiding the influence of false prophets. Tune in for thought-provoking insights, heartwarming stories, and a reminder that the way you focus can change everything. 
#PerspectiveShift, #PersonalGrowth, #ExpertOfYourLife, #FriendshipMatters, #LifeLessons, #TransformYourWorld, #Interconnectedness
 
Perspective in life, Personal growth journey, Being your own expert, Friendship and transformation, Changing your focus, Avoiding false prophets, Architecture and life design connection
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Expert Syndrome Paradox]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, we explore the transformative power of perspective and how it shapes our lives, friendships, and communities. Fawn reflects on her time in Santa Monica, drawing parallels between personal growth and unexpected lessons from the show <em>Emily in Paris</em>. Matt dives into the surprising connections between architecture, software development, and life design, highlighting how everything is interconnected. Together, they unravel the importance of being the expert of your own life, trusting your instincts, and avoiding the influence of false prophets. Tune in for thought-provoking insights, heartwarming stories, and a reminder that the way you focus can change everything. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#PerspectiveShift, </span>#PersonalGrowth, #ExpertOfYourLife, #FriendshipMatters, #LifeLessons, #TransformYourWorld, #Interconnectedness</p>
<h3 class="western"> </h3>
<p>Perspective in life, Personal growth journey, Being your own expert, Friendship and transformation, Changing your focus, Avoiding false prophets, Architecture and life design connection</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1852544/c1e-8j1va9w798h1d824-4711d4vns1gr-nhmt5x.mp3" length="28802081"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we explore the transformative power of perspective and how it shapes our lives, friendships, and communities. Fawn reflects on her time in Santa Monica, drawing parallels between personal growth and unexpected lessons from the show Emily in Paris. Matt dives into the surprising connections between architecture, software development, and life design, highlighting how everything is interconnected. Together, they unravel the importance of being the expert of your own life, trusting your instincts, and avoiding the influence of false prophets. Tune in for thought-provoking insights, heartwarming stories, and a reminder that the way you focus can change everything. 
#PerspectiveShift, #PersonalGrowth, #ExpertOfYourLife, #FriendshipMatters, #LifeLessons, #TransformYourWorld, #Interconnectedness
 
Perspective in life, Personal growth journey, Being your own expert, Friendship and transformation, Changing your focus, Avoiding false prophets, Architecture and life design connection
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1852544/c1a-8j1v-v6zz2vngux98-7pijez.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:00</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[You Were Right and I Was Wrong]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Sep 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1847146</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/you-were-right-and-i-was-wrong</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn reflects on a powerful lesson in empathy and self-awareness. Titled "You Were Right and I Was Wrong," the discussion dives into how emotional connections can cloud judgment, leading to misunderstandings in friendships. Matt offers a logical perspective on handling relationships, helping Fawn see that sometimes stepping back can bring clarity. Together, they explore the dynamics of friendship, vulnerability, and trust, offering listeners insightful takeaways on how to salvage connections and maintain meaningful relationships.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn confronts her fears of judgment and insecurity in friendships, while Matt sheds light on the balance between logic and emotion. Together, they explore how emotional triggers from past experiences can cloud our perception of relationships, leading to unnecessary conflict. Fawn shares a vulnerable moment of nearly losing a friendship due to misunderstanding, while Matt provides insights on how to remain objective and empathetic in navigating relationships. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to strengthen their connections and learn the art of emotional intelligence in friendships.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"> #FriendshipGoals, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipAdvice, #OvercomingInsecurities, #PersonalGrowth, #HealingConnections, #SelfAwarenessJourney, #FriendshipGoals, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipAdvice, #EmpathyMatters, #PersonalGrowthJourney, #PodcastLife, #MentalHealthAwareness</span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn reflects on a powerful lesson in empathy and self-awareness. Titled "You Were Right and I Was Wrong," the discussion dives into how emotional connections can cloud judgment, leading to misunderstandings in friendships. Matt offers a logical perspective on handling relationships, helping Fawn see that sometimes stepping back can bring clarity. Together, they explore the dynamics of friendship, vulnerability, and trust, offering listeners insightful takeaways on how to salvage connections and maintain meaningful relationships.
Fawn confronts her fears of judgment and insecurity in friendships, while Matt sheds light on the balance between logic and emotion. Together, they explore how emotional triggers from past experiences can cloud our perception of relationships, leading to unnecessary conflict. Fawn shares a vulnerable moment of nearly losing a friendship due to misunderstanding, while Matt provides insights on how to remain objective and empathetic in navigating relationships. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to strengthen their connections and learn the art of emotional intelligence in friendships.
 #FriendshipGoals, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipAdvice, #OvercomingInsecurities, #PersonalGrowth, #HealingConnections, #SelfAwarenessJourney, #FriendshipGoals, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipAdvice, #EmpathyMatters, #PersonalGrowthJourney, #PodcastLife, #MentalHealthAwareness]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[You Were Right and I Was Wrong]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn reflects on a powerful lesson in empathy and self-awareness. Titled "You Were Right and I Was Wrong," the discussion dives into how emotional connections can cloud judgment, leading to misunderstandings in friendships. Matt offers a logical perspective on handling relationships, helping Fawn see that sometimes stepping back can bring clarity. Together, they explore the dynamics of friendship, vulnerability, and trust, offering listeners insightful takeaways on how to salvage connections and maintain meaningful relationships.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn confronts her fears of judgment and insecurity in friendships, while Matt sheds light on the balance between logic and emotion. Together, they explore how emotional triggers from past experiences can cloud our perception of relationships, leading to unnecessary conflict. Fawn shares a vulnerable moment of nearly losing a friendship due to misunderstanding, while Matt provides insights on how to remain objective and empathetic in navigating relationships. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to strengthen their connections and learn the art of emotional intelligence in friendships.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"> #FriendshipGoals, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipAdvice, #OvercomingInsecurities, #PersonalGrowth, #HealingConnections, #SelfAwarenessJourney, #FriendshipGoals, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipAdvice, #EmpathyMatters, #PersonalGrowthJourney, #PodcastLife, #MentalHealthAwareness</span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1847146/c1e-g6g1b36jk0s2494m-v61nv4g0b0q-sxj1kg.mp3" length="15477113"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn reflects on a powerful lesson in empathy and self-awareness. Titled "You Were Right and I Was Wrong," the discussion dives into how emotional connections can cloud judgment, leading to misunderstandings in friendships. Matt offers a logical perspective on handling relationships, helping Fawn see that sometimes stepping back can bring clarity. Together, they explore the dynamics of friendship, vulnerability, and trust, offering listeners insightful takeaways on how to salvage connections and maintain meaningful relationships.
Fawn confronts her fears of judgment and insecurity in friendships, while Matt sheds light on the balance between logic and emotion. Together, they explore how emotional triggers from past experiences can cloud our perception of relationships, leading to unnecessary conflict. Fawn shares a vulnerable moment of nearly losing a friendship due to misunderstanding, while Matt provides insights on how to remain objective and empathetic in navigating relationships. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to strengthen their connections and learn the art of emotional intelligence in friendships.
 #FriendshipGoals, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipAdvice, #OvercomingInsecurities, #PersonalGrowth, #HealingConnections, #SelfAwarenessJourney, #FriendshipGoals, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipAdvice, #EmpathyMatters, #PersonalGrowthJourney, #PodcastLife, #MentalHealthAwareness]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1847146/c1a-8j1v-v61nv4g6ik72-615ll8.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:16:07</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Be Yourself]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Sep 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1840360</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/be-yourself-2</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, titled <strong>"Be Yourself"</strong>, Fawn and Matt discuss the challenges of staying authentic when misunderstood by others. Fawn shares a personal story about a strained friendship, where her genuine intentions were questioned, leading to feelings of sadness and doubt. The episode highlights the importance of maintaining kindness, open-heartedness, and happiness, even when others may misinterpret these qualities. Ultimately, the message is clear: continue being yourself, no matter how others react.</span></p>
<p>#BeYourself, #Authenticity, #EmotionalResilience, #PersonalGrowth, #FriendshipMatters, #OpenHearted, #TrueSelf</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, titled "Be Yourself", Fawn and Matt discuss the challenges of staying authentic when misunderstood by others. Fawn shares a personal story about a strained friendship, where her genuine intentions were questioned, leading to feelings of sadness and doubt. The episode highlights the importance of maintaining kindness, open-heartedness, and happiness, even when others may misinterpret these qualities. Ultimately, the message is clear: continue being yourself, no matter how others react.
#BeYourself, #Authenticity, #EmotionalResilience, #PersonalGrowth, #FriendshipMatters, #OpenHearted, #TrueSelf
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Be Yourself]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week’s episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em>, titled <strong>"Be Yourself"</strong>, Fawn and Matt discuss the challenges of staying authentic when misunderstood by others. Fawn shares a personal story about a strained friendship, where her genuine intentions were questioned, leading to feelings of sadness and doubt. The episode highlights the importance of maintaining kindness, open-heartedness, and happiness, even when others may misinterpret these qualities. Ultimately, the message is clear: continue being yourself, no matter how others react.</span></p>
<p>#BeYourself, #Authenticity, #EmotionalResilience, #PersonalGrowth, #FriendshipMatters, #OpenHearted, #TrueSelf</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1840360/c1e-p6omb5d0pjfmo9oz-8d4kgvqour90-ak25zk.mp3" length="13432875"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week’s episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, titled "Be Yourself", Fawn and Matt discuss the challenges of staying authentic when misunderstood by others. Fawn shares a personal story about a strained friendship, where her genuine intentions were questioned, leading to feelings of sadness and doubt. The episode highlights the importance of maintaining kindness, open-heartedness, and happiness, even when others may misinterpret these qualities. Ultimately, the message is clear: continue being yourself, no matter how others react.
#BeYourself, #Authenticity, #EmotionalResilience, #PersonalGrowth, #FriendshipMatters, #OpenHearted, #TrueSelf
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1840360/c1a-8j1v-pk91rmxwhnjk-u00flw.jpeg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:13:59</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Meetups and Coolers]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Sep 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1834892</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/meetups-and-coolers</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em> explores the sometimes awkward but ultimately rewarding experience of stepping out of your comfort zone to meet new people. From being the "new guy" to making connections in an unfamiliar environment, Matt shares insights on how approaching social situations can help ease nerves and foster meaningful interactions. Fawn and Matt discuss the parallels between shifting landscapes in the tech world and broader societal changes, reminding us that uncertainty can create opportunities for growth and connection.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#MeetupsAndConnections, #BuildingFriendships, #SocialAnxietyTips, #CommunityNetworking, #Meetups, #NewConnections, #FriendshipJourney</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Meetup group experiences, Navigating social anxiety, Building new connections, Co-working space meetups, Overcoming awkward social situations, Networking tips for beginners, Finding like-minded people</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt explores the sometimes awkward but ultimately rewarding experience of stepping out of your comfort zone to meet new people. From being the "new guy" to making connections in an unfamiliar environment, Matt shares insights on how approaching social situations can help ease nerves and foster meaningful interactions. Fawn and Matt discuss the parallels between shifting landscapes in the tech world and broader societal changes, reminding us that uncertainty can create opportunities for growth and connection.
#MeetupsAndConnections, #BuildingFriendships, #SocialAnxietyTips, #CommunityNetworking, #Meetups, #NewConnections, #FriendshipJourney

Meetup group experiences, Navigating social anxiety, Building new connections, Co-working space meetups, Overcoming awkward social situations, Networking tips for beginners, Finding like-minded people
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Meetups and Coolers]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode of <em>Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</em> explores the sometimes awkward but ultimately rewarding experience of stepping out of your comfort zone to meet new people. From being the "new guy" to making connections in an unfamiliar environment, Matt shares insights on how approaching social situations can help ease nerves and foster meaningful interactions. Fawn and Matt discuss the parallels between shifting landscapes in the tech world and broader societal changes, reminding us that uncertainty can create opportunities for growth and connection.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#MeetupsAndConnections, #BuildingFriendships, #SocialAnxietyTips, #CommunityNetworking, #Meetups, #NewConnections, #FriendshipJourney</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Meetup group experiences, Navigating social anxiety, Building new connections, Co-working space meetups, Overcoming awkward social situations, Networking tips for beginners, Finding like-minded people</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1834892/c1e-2j9qa8x4dgc67j71-dm6omwgzsk45-nht0st.mp3" length="29958563"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode of Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt explores the sometimes awkward but ultimately rewarding experience of stepping out of your comfort zone to meet new people. From being the "new guy" to making connections in an unfamiliar environment, Matt shares insights on how approaching social situations can help ease nerves and foster meaningful interactions. Fawn and Matt discuss the parallels between shifting landscapes in the tech world and broader societal changes, reminding us that uncertainty can create opportunities for growth and connection.
#MeetupsAndConnections, #BuildingFriendships, #SocialAnxietyTips, #CommunityNetworking, #Meetups, #NewConnections, #FriendshipJourney

Meetup group experiences, Navigating social anxiety, Building new connections, Co-working space meetups, Overcoming awkward social situations, Networking tips for beginners, Finding like-minded people
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1834892/c1a-8j1v-8d42d5xqiv97-pdx98d.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:12</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Kintsugi and Friendship: How to Heal After Heartbreak and Strengthen Bonds"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Sep 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1831117</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/kintsugi-and-friendship-how-to-heal-after-heartbreak-and-strengthen-bonds</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">"In this episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the universal experience of heartbreak and how to rebuild after emotional setbacks. Drawing inspiration from the Japanese art of kintsugi, they explore how the cracks left by heartbreak can be filled with new strength, much like how broken ceramics are mended with gold. The conversation touches on vulnerability, resilience, and the importance of allowing others into your life after loss, whether in friendships or romantic relationships. Tune in for insights on embracing imperfections and finding beauty in healing." </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#HealingHeartbreak, </span>#MendFriendships, #KintsugiLife, #EmbraceImperfections, #FriendshipHealing, #EmotionalResilience, #NewBeginnings</p>
<p>Heartbreak, Kintsugi, Friendship healing, Emotional resilience, Vulnerability, Rebuilding relationships, Embracing imperfections</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA["In this episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the universal experience of heartbreak and how to rebuild after emotional setbacks. Drawing inspiration from the Japanese art of kintsugi, they explore how the cracks left by heartbreak can be filled with new strength, much like how broken ceramics are mended with gold. The conversation touches on vulnerability, resilience, and the importance of allowing others into your life after loss, whether in friendships or romantic relationships. Tune in for insights on embracing imperfections and finding beauty in healing." 
#HealingHeartbreak, #MendFriendships, #KintsugiLife, #EmbraceImperfections, #FriendshipHealing, #EmotionalResilience, #NewBeginnings
Heartbreak, Kintsugi, Friendship healing, Emotional resilience, Vulnerability, Rebuilding relationships, Embracing imperfections]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Kintsugi and Friendship: How to Heal After Heartbreak and Strengthen Bonds"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">"In this episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the universal experience of heartbreak and how to rebuild after emotional setbacks. Drawing inspiration from the Japanese art of kintsugi, they explore how the cracks left by heartbreak can be filled with new strength, much like how broken ceramics are mended with gold. The conversation touches on vulnerability, resilience, and the importance of allowing others into your life after loss, whether in friendships or romantic relationships. Tune in for insights on embracing imperfections and finding beauty in healing." </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#HealingHeartbreak, </span>#MendFriendships, #KintsugiLife, #EmbraceImperfections, #FriendshipHealing, #EmotionalResilience, #NewBeginnings</p>
<p>Heartbreak, Kintsugi, Friendship healing, Emotional resilience, Vulnerability, Rebuilding relationships, Embracing imperfections</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1831117/c1e-k6v3bjpwm7b94148-pk97zgz1fp5x-vn7kzo.mp3" length="17011861"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA["In this episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the universal experience of heartbreak and how to rebuild after emotional setbacks. Drawing inspiration from the Japanese art of kintsugi, they explore how the cracks left by heartbreak can be filled with new strength, much like how broken ceramics are mended with gold. The conversation touches on vulnerability, resilience, and the importance of allowing others into your life after loss, whether in friendships or romantic relationships. Tune in for insights on embracing imperfections and finding beauty in healing." 
#HealingHeartbreak, #MendFriendships, #KintsugiLife, #EmbraceImperfections, #FriendshipHealing, #EmotionalResilience, #NewBeginnings
Heartbreak, Kintsugi, Friendship healing, Emotional resilience, Vulnerability, Rebuilding relationships, Embracing imperfections]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1831117/c1a-8j1v-z3zgxdx7tp49-gjukb2.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:17:43</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Like Hearted vs Like Minded: The Key to Meaningful Friendships"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Sep 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1827085</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/like-hearted-vs-like-minded-the-key-to-meaningful-friendships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">"Like Hearted vs Like Minded: The Key to Meaningful Friendships" </span></p>
<h3 class="western"><span style="font-size:medium;">Episode Summary:</span></h3>
<p>In this episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the difference between like-minded and like-hearted individuals. The conversation delves into the challenges of forming deep connections in a world where people often cluster with those who share similar views, leading to echo chambers. Fawn reflects on personal experiences where like-hearted connections were complicated by differing religious, political, or cultural views. Matt shares his approach to connecting with people beyond surface-level affiliations. They both explore the importance of openness and genuine interaction in discovering true like-heartedness in friendships and relationships.</p>
<p>#LikeHearted, #GenuineConnections, #DeepConversations, #FriendshipMatters, #Openness, #BreakingBarriers, #AuthenticLiving</p>
<h3 class="western">Keywords:</h3>
<p>Like-Hearted, Connection, Openness, Prejudice, Relationships, Authenticity, Communication</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA["Like Hearted vs Like Minded: The Key to Meaningful Friendships" 
Episode Summary:
In this episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the difference between like-minded and like-hearted individuals. The conversation delves into the challenges of forming deep connections in a world where people often cluster with those who share similar views, leading to echo chambers. Fawn reflects on personal experiences where like-hearted connections were complicated by differing religious, political, or cultural views. Matt shares his approach to connecting with people beyond surface-level affiliations. They both explore the importance of openness and genuine interaction in discovering true like-heartedness in friendships and relationships.
#LikeHearted, #GenuineConnections, #DeepConversations, #FriendshipMatters, #Openness, #BreakingBarriers, #AuthenticLiving
Keywords:
Like-Hearted, Connection, Openness, Prejudice, Relationships, Authenticity, Communication]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Like Hearted vs Like Minded: The Key to Meaningful Friendships"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">"Like Hearted vs Like Minded: The Key to Meaningful Friendships" </span></p>
<h3 class="western"><span style="font-size:medium;">Episode Summary:</span></h3>
<p>In this episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the difference between like-minded and like-hearted individuals. The conversation delves into the challenges of forming deep connections in a world where people often cluster with those who share similar views, leading to echo chambers. Fawn reflects on personal experiences where like-hearted connections were complicated by differing religious, political, or cultural views. Matt shares his approach to connecting with people beyond surface-level affiliations. They both explore the importance of openness and genuine interaction in discovering true like-heartedness in friendships and relationships.</p>
<p>#LikeHearted, #GenuineConnections, #DeepConversations, #FriendshipMatters, #Openness, #BreakingBarriers, #AuthenticLiving</p>
<h3 class="western">Keywords:</h3>
<p>Like-Hearted, Connection, Openness, Prejudice, Relationships, Authenticity, Communication</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1827085/c1e-dp0nu64kwnfpd487-pk96180xap4g-95mezx.mp3" length="23384502"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA["Like Hearted vs Like Minded: The Key to Meaningful Friendships" 
Episode Summary:
In this episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the difference between like-minded and like-hearted individuals. The conversation delves into the challenges of forming deep connections in a world where people often cluster with those who share similar views, leading to echo chambers. Fawn reflects on personal experiences where like-hearted connections were complicated by differing religious, political, or cultural views. Matt shares his approach to connecting with people beyond surface-level affiliations. They both explore the importance of openness and genuine interaction in discovering true like-heartedness in friendships and relationships.
#LikeHearted, #GenuineConnections, #DeepConversations, #FriendshipMatters, #Openness, #BreakingBarriers, #AuthenticLiving
Keywords:
Like-Hearted, Connection, Openness, Prejudice, Relationships, Authenticity, Communication]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1827085/c1a-8j1v-rk068ompbow5-isclv8.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:24:21</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Chaz Ebert on the Power of FECK: Transforming Lives with Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Aug 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1820852</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/chaz-ebert-on-the-power-of-feck-transforming-lives-with-forgiveness-empathy-compassion-and-kindness</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this compelling episode, Fawn and Matt are joined by the remarkable Chaz Ebert, who shares insights from her powerful new book, <em>"It's Time to Give a FECK: Elevating Humanity Through Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness."</em> Through deeply personal stories, including the telepathic connection she shared with her late husband, Roger Ebert, Chaz delves into how FECK can transform lives and communities. Together, they explore the profound impact of authentic communication, the contagious power of positivity, and the vital role of empathy in creating a more compassionate world. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to infuse their life with meaning and heart.</span></p>
<p> https://www.rogerebert.com/</p>
<p>#ChazEbert, #FECKPrinciples, #EmpathyInAction, #ForgivenessJourney, #KindnessMatters, #CompassionateLiving, #InspireChange</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this compelling episode, Fawn and Matt are joined by the remarkable Chaz Ebert, who shares insights from her powerful new book, "It's Time to Give a FECK: Elevating Humanity Through Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness." Through deeply personal stories, including the telepathic connection she shared with her late husband, Roger Ebert, Chaz delves into how FECK can transform lives and communities. Together, they explore the profound impact of authentic communication, the contagious power of positivity, and the vital role of empathy in creating a more compassionate world. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to infuse their life with meaning and heart.
 https://www.rogerebert.com/
#ChazEbert, #FECKPrinciples, #EmpathyInAction, #ForgivenessJourney, #KindnessMatters, #CompassionateLiving, #InspireChange]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Chaz Ebert on the Power of FECK: Transforming Lives with Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this compelling episode, Fawn and Matt are joined by the remarkable Chaz Ebert, who shares insights from her powerful new book, <em>"It's Time to Give a FECK: Elevating Humanity Through Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness."</em> Through deeply personal stories, including the telepathic connection she shared with her late husband, Roger Ebert, Chaz delves into how FECK can transform lives and communities. Together, they explore the profound impact of authentic communication, the contagious power of positivity, and the vital role of empathy in creating a more compassionate world. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to infuse their life with meaning and heart.</span></p>
<p> https://www.rogerebert.com/</p>
<p>#ChazEbert, #FECKPrinciples, #EmpathyInAction, #ForgivenessJourney, #KindnessMatters, #CompassionateLiving, #InspireChange</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1820852/c1e-2j9qa8v41gb67j7x-6zdrp7o0i873-icya1k.mp3" length="41520151"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this compelling episode, Fawn and Matt are joined by the remarkable Chaz Ebert, who shares insights from her powerful new book, "It's Time to Give a FECK: Elevating Humanity Through Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness." Through deeply personal stories, including the telepathic connection she shared with her late husband, Roger Ebert, Chaz delves into how FECK can transform lives and communities. Together, they explore the profound impact of authentic communication, the contagious power of positivity, and the vital role of empathy in creating a more compassionate world. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to infuse their life with meaning and heart.
 https://www.rogerebert.com/
#ChazEbert, #FECKPrinciples, #EmpathyInAction, #ForgivenessJourney, #KindnessMatters, #CompassionateLiving, #InspireChange]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1820852/c1a-8j1v-qdr7ngm0in7x-k9bddv.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:43:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["When Boundaries Break: Navigating Friendship Challenges and Personal Growth"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Aug 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1813534</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/when-boundaries-break-navigating-friendship-challenges-and-personal-growth</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><strong>"When Boundaries Break: Navigating Friendship Challenges and Personal Growth"</strong></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, we dive deep into the complex world of boundaries and how they impact our friendships and self-worth. Fawn shares personal stories of navigating difficult situations, where her boundaries were tested, leading to heartbreak and valuable life lessons. With insights from close friends, the discussion explores how to establish and maintain boundaries, the importance of self-respect, and the courage it takes to stand up for oneself, even when it means risking being seen as the "bad person." Tune in for an honest conversation on the challenges of protecting your emotional well-being while nurturing healthy relationships. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This episode revolves around the theme of boundaries in relationships and personal interactions. Fawn and Matt discuss their experiences and insights regarding how boundaries are tested, the challenges of maintaining them, and the importance of asserting oneself without feeling guilty or being labeled negatively. They share personal anecdotes and draw parallels to broader philosophical and practical implications, emphasizing the need for clear communication and self-advocacy in navigating various social dynamics.</span></p>
<p>#HealthyBoundaries, #FriendshipChallenges, #SelfRespect, #EmotionalWellbeing, #PersonalGrowth, #LifeLessons, #PodcastCommunity</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Boundaries, Friendships, Self-Worth, Emotional Health, Personal Growth, Conflict Resolution, Relationship Dynamics</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[
"When Boundaries Break: Navigating Friendship Challenges and Personal Growth"
 
In this episode of Our Friendly World, we dive deep into the complex world of boundaries and how they impact our friendships and self-worth. Fawn shares personal stories of navigating difficult situations, where her boundaries were tested, leading to heartbreak and valuable life lessons. With insights from close friends, the discussion explores how to establish and maintain boundaries, the importance of self-respect, and the courage it takes to stand up for oneself, even when it means risking being seen as the "bad person." Tune in for an honest conversation on the challenges of protecting your emotional well-being while nurturing healthy relationships. 





This episode revolves around the theme of boundaries in relationships and personal interactions. Fawn and Matt discuss their experiences and insights regarding how boundaries are tested, the challenges of maintaining them, and the importance of asserting oneself without feeling guilty or being labeled negatively. They share personal anecdotes and draw parallels to broader philosophical and practical implications, emphasizing the need for clear communication and self-advocacy in navigating various social dynamics.
#HealthyBoundaries, #FriendshipChallenges, #SelfRespect, #EmotionalWellbeing, #PersonalGrowth, #LifeLessons, #PodcastCommunity
 
Boundaries, Friendships, Self-Worth, Emotional Health, Personal Growth, Conflict Resolution, Relationship Dynamics]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["When Boundaries Break: Navigating Friendship Challenges and Personal Growth"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><strong>"When Boundaries Break: Navigating Friendship Challenges and Personal Growth"</strong></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode of <em>Our Friendly World</em>, we dive deep into the complex world of boundaries and how they impact our friendships and self-worth. Fawn shares personal stories of navigating difficult situations, where her boundaries were tested, leading to heartbreak and valuable life lessons. With insights from close friends, the discussion explores how to establish and maintain boundaries, the importance of self-respect, and the courage it takes to stand up for oneself, even when it means risking being seen as the "bad person." Tune in for an honest conversation on the challenges of protecting your emotional well-being while nurturing healthy relationships. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This episode revolves around the theme of boundaries in relationships and personal interactions. Fawn and Matt discuss their experiences and insights regarding how boundaries are tested, the challenges of maintaining them, and the importance of asserting oneself without feeling guilty or being labeled negatively. They share personal anecdotes and draw parallels to broader philosophical and practical implications, emphasizing the need for clear communication and self-advocacy in navigating various social dynamics.</span></p>
<p>#HealthyBoundaries, #FriendshipChallenges, #SelfRespect, #EmotionalWellbeing, #PersonalGrowth, #LifeLessons, #PodcastCommunity</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Boundaries, Friendships, Self-Worth, Emotional Health, Personal Growth, Conflict Resolution, Relationship Dynamics</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1813534/c1e-0jo1ajv8v0bgm3mw-wwz5x231ukp-jsrsum.mp3" length="25063007"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[
"When Boundaries Break: Navigating Friendship Challenges and Personal Growth"
 
In this episode of Our Friendly World, we dive deep into the complex world of boundaries and how they impact our friendships and self-worth. Fawn shares personal stories of navigating difficult situations, where her boundaries were tested, leading to heartbreak and valuable life lessons. With insights from close friends, the discussion explores how to establish and maintain boundaries, the importance of self-respect, and the courage it takes to stand up for oneself, even when it means risking being seen as the "bad person." Tune in for an honest conversation on the challenges of protecting your emotional well-being while nurturing healthy relationships. 





This episode revolves around the theme of boundaries in relationships and personal interactions. Fawn and Matt discuss their experiences and insights regarding how boundaries are tested, the challenges of maintaining them, and the importance of asserting oneself without feeling guilty or being labeled negatively. They share personal anecdotes and draw parallels to broader philosophical and practical implications, emphasizing the need for clear communication and self-advocacy in navigating various social dynamics.
#HealthyBoundaries, #FriendshipChallenges, #SelfRespect, #EmotionalWellbeing, #PersonalGrowth, #LifeLessons, #PodcastCommunity
 
Boundaries, Friendships, Self-Worth, Emotional Health, Personal Growth, Conflict Resolution, Relationship Dynamics]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1813534/c1a-8j1v-mk02456mc3gn-kgzhnx.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Being INTERESTED, not Interesting]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Aug 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1804966</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-being-interested-not-interesting</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode dives into the heart of what makes true connections flourish—genuine interest in others. Join us as we explore the power of curiosity and the importance of being interested, rather than just trying to be interesting. Through personal stories and relatable struggles, we uncover how asking the right questions and embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper, more meaningful friendships. Whether you're navigating new social situations or rekindling old relationships, this episode is a reminder that the strongest bonds are built not on what you say, but on how much you care about what others have to share. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#BuildingConnections, </span>#TrueFriendship, #MeaningfulConversations, #GenuineConnections, #CuriosityMatters, #FriendshipGoals, #BeInterested</p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Genuine Connections</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Emphasizes the focus on authentic relationships.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Power of Curiosity</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Highlights the importance of curiosity in building friendships.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Be Interested, Not Interesting</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - A key phrase that encapsulates the episode’s main advice for forming meaningful bonds.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Asking the Right Questions</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Points to the value of inquiry in deepening friendships.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Embracing Vulnerability</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Appeals to those who understand that openness is crucial to close relationships.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Deeper, Meaningful Friendships</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Directly speaks to the kind of relationships the audience is seeking.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Relatable Struggles</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Ensures listeners feel understood and connects to shared human experiences.</span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode dives into the heart of what makes true connections flourish—genuine interest in others. Join us as we explore the power of curiosity and the importance of being interested, rather than just trying to be interesting. Through personal stories and relatable struggles, we uncover how asking the right questions and embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper, more meaningful friendships. Whether you're navigating new social situations or rekindling old relationships, this episode is a reminder that the strongest bonds are built not on what you say, but on how much you care about what others have to share. 
#BuildingConnections, #TrueFriendship, #MeaningfulConversations, #GenuineConnections, #CuriosityMatters, #FriendshipGoals, #BeInterested
Genuine Connections - Emphasizes the focus on authentic relationships.
Power of Curiosity - Highlights the importance of curiosity in building friendships.
Be Interested, Not Interesting - A key phrase that encapsulates the episode’s main advice for forming meaningful bonds.
Asking the Right Questions - Points to the value of inquiry in deepening friendships.
Embracing Vulnerability - Appeals to those who understand that openness is crucial to close relationships.
Deeper, Meaningful Friendships - Directly speaks to the kind of relationships the audience is seeking.
Relatable Struggles - Ensures listeners feel understood and connects to shared human experiences.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Being INTERESTED, not Interesting]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode dives into the heart of what makes true connections flourish—genuine interest in others. Join us as we explore the power of curiosity and the importance of being interested, rather than just trying to be interesting. Through personal stories and relatable struggles, we uncover how asking the right questions and embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper, more meaningful friendships. Whether you're navigating new social situations or rekindling old relationships, this episode is a reminder that the strongest bonds are built not on what you say, but on how much you care about what others have to share. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#BuildingConnections, </span>#TrueFriendship, #MeaningfulConversations, #GenuineConnections, #CuriosityMatters, #FriendshipGoals, #BeInterested</p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Genuine Connections</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Emphasizes the focus on authentic relationships.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Power of Curiosity</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Highlights the importance of curiosity in building friendships.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Be Interested, Not Interesting</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - A key phrase that encapsulates the episode’s main advice for forming meaningful bonds.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Asking the Right Questions</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Points to the value of inquiry in deepening friendships.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Embracing Vulnerability</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Appeals to those who understand that openness is crucial to close relationships.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Deeper, Meaningful Friendships</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Directly speaks to the kind of relationships the audience is seeking.</span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">Relatable Struggles</span></strong><span style="font-size:medium;"> - Ensures listeners feel understood and connects to shared human experiences.</span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1804966/c1e-2j9qa87dz5f67j7x-ndw3vgn7id03-mbuzz7.mp3" length="25758492"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode dives into the heart of what makes true connections flourish—genuine interest in others. Join us as we explore the power of curiosity and the importance of being interested, rather than just trying to be interesting. Through personal stories and relatable struggles, we uncover how asking the right questions and embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper, more meaningful friendships. Whether you're navigating new social situations or rekindling old relationships, this episode is a reminder that the strongest bonds are built not on what you say, but on how much you care about what others have to share. 
#BuildingConnections, #TrueFriendship, #MeaningfulConversations, #GenuineConnections, #CuriosityMatters, #FriendshipGoals, #BeInterested
Genuine Connections - Emphasizes the focus on authentic relationships.
Power of Curiosity - Highlights the importance of curiosity in building friendships.
Be Interested, Not Interesting - A key phrase that encapsulates the episode’s main advice for forming meaningful bonds.
Asking the Right Questions - Points to the value of inquiry in deepening friendships.
Embracing Vulnerability - Appeals to those who understand that openness is crucial to close relationships.
Deeper, Meaningful Friendships - Directly speaks to the kind of relationships the audience is seeking.
Relatable Struggles - Ensures listeners feel understood and connects to shared human experiences.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1804966/c1a-8j1v-dm6vxwz9uj3z-l8rgwd.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:49</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Connecting Across Differences: The Art of Making New Friends"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Aug 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1798197</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connecting-across-differences-the-art-of-making-new-friends</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">"In this episode of 'Friends Unfiltered,' Fawn and Matt delve into the art of making friends with people who are vastly different from oneself. From humorous anecdotes about awkward outings to deeper insights into human curiosity and connection, they explore how stepping outside comfort zones can lead to meaningful friendships. Join them as they discuss the psychology behind curiosity, vulnerability, and positive interactions in forging bonds with those who may hold opposing views."</span></p>
<p>Friendship, Curiosity, Comfort zone, Opposite personalities, Human connection, Psychology of relationships, Step outside comfort</p>
<p>#MakingFriends, #OppositesAttract, #NewFriendships, #StepOutOfComfortZone, #SocialConnections, #PodcastEpisode, #FriendshipGoals</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA["In this episode of 'Friends Unfiltered,' Fawn and Matt delve into the art of making friends with people who are vastly different from oneself. From humorous anecdotes about awkward outings to deeper insights into human curiosity and connection, they explore how stepping outside comfort zones can lead to meaningful friendships. Join them as they discuss the psychology behind curiosity, vulnerability, and positive interactions in forging bonds with those who may hold opposing views."
Friendship, Curiosity, Comfort zone, Opposite personalities, Human connection, Psychology of relationships, Step outside comfort
#MakingFriends, #OppositesAttract, #NewFriendships, #StepOutOfComfortZone, #SocialConnections, #PodcastEpisode, #FriendshipGoals]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Connecting Across Differences: The Art of Making New Friends"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">"In this episode of 'Friends Unfiltered,' Fawn and Matt delve into the art of making friends with people who are vastly different from oneself. From humorous anecdotes about awkward outings to deeper insights into human curiosity and connection, they explore how stepping outside comfort zones can lead to meaningful friendships. Join them as they discuss the psychology behind curiosity, vulnerability, and positive interactions in forging bonds with those who may hold opposing views."</span></p>
<p>Friendship, Curiosity, Comfort zone, Opposite personalities, Human connection, Psychology of relationships, Step outside comfort</p>
<p>#MakingFriends, #OppositesAttract, #NewFriendships, #StepOutOfComfortZone, #SocialConnections, #PodcastEpisode, #FriendshipGoals</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1798197/c1e-6jm7a2954xundodq-pk98m4v0bpjm-4230ax.mp3" length="30608489"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA["In this episode of 'Friends Unfiltered,' Fawn and Matt delve into the art of making friends with people who are vastly different from oneself. From humorous anecdotes about awkward outings to deeper insights into human curiosity and connection, they explore how stepping outside comfort zones can lead to meaningful friendships. Join them as they discuss the psychology behind curiosity, vulnerability, and positive interactions in forging bonds with those who may hold opposing views."
Friendship, Curiosity, Comfort zone, Opposite personalities, Human connection, Psychology of relationships, Step outside comfort
#MakingFriends, #OppositesAttract, #NewFriendships, #StepOutOfComfortZone, #SocialConnections, #PodcastEpisode, #FriendshipGoals]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1798197/c1a-8j1v-34k3vdmzapwg-r29q6x.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:53</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Breaking the Filter Bubble: Tech Tips for a Diverse Perspective"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Jul 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1793568</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/breaking-the-filter-bubble-tech-tips-for-a-diverse-perspective</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this week's episode of Tech Unfiltered, Fawn and Matt dive into the realm of unfiltered technology, exploring how to break free from algorithm-driven content that limits our perspectives. They discuss practical steps to diversify your online experience, from using alternative browsers like Firefox to seeking news from different global perspectives. Learn why it's crucial to see beyond the usual digital feed to become more multidimensional, aware, and connected in our tech habits. Join them for tips on how to expand your worldview and engage with content outside your comfort zone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#TechUnfiltered, #DigitalAwareness, #InternetPrivacy, #AlgorithmInsights, #DiversePerspective, #OnlineExperience, #TechTips</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of Tech Unfiltered, Fawn and Matt dive into the realm of unfiltered technology, exploring how to break free from algorithm-driven content that limits our perspectives. They discuss practical steps to diversify your online experience, from using alternative browsers like Firefox to seeking news from different global perspectives. Learn why it's crucial to see beyond the usual digital feed to become more multidimensional, aware, and connected in our tech habits. Join them for tips on how to expand your worldview and engage with content outside your comfort zone.
 
#TechUnfiltered, #DigitalAwareness, #InternetPrivacy, #AlgorithmInsights, #DiversePerspective, #OnlineExperience, #TechTips
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Breaking the Filter Bubble: Tech Tips for a Diverse Perspective"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this week's episode of Tech Unfiltered, Fawn and Matt dive into the realm of unfiltered technology, exploring how to break free from algorithm-driven content that limits our perspectives. They discuss practical steps to diversify your online experience, from using alternative browsers like Firefox to seeking news from different global perspectives. Learn why it's crucial to see beyond the usual digital feed to become more multidimensional, aware, and connected in our tech habits. Join them for tips on how to expand your worldview and engage with content outside your comfort zone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#TechUnfiltered, #DigitalAwareness, #InternetPrivacy, #AlgorithmInsights, #DiversePerspective, #OnlineExperience, #TechTips</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1793568/c1e-g6g1b375k4i2494m-8d40ko4juwog-zfydys.mp3" length="20163271"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of Tech Unfiltered, Fawn and Matt dive into the realm of unfiltered technology, exploring how to break free from algorithm-driven content that limits our perspectives. They discuss practical steps to diversify your online experience, from using alternative browsers like Firefox to seeking news from different global perspectives. Learn why it's crucial to see beyond the usual digital feed to become more multidimensional, aware, and connected in our tech habits. Join them for tips on how to expand your worldview and engage with content outside your comfort zone.
 
#TechUnfiltered, #DigitalAwareness, #InternetPrivacy, #AlgorithmInsights, #DiversePerspective, #OnlineExperience, #TechTips
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1793568/c1a-8j1v-34kx8mkrskvg-ds08bh.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:00</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Lalochezia and the Filtered World]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jul 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1789760</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/lalochezia-and-the-filtered-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt explore the importance of having friends with different beliefs and lifestyles. They delve into personal stories, including Fawn’s memorable encounter with a childhood classmate and the lessons learned from it. The episode takes a humorous turn as Fawn discusses her unique approach to relieving stress, and the couple reflect on communication challenges in relationships. Tune in for a lively discussion on the value of diverse friendships and finding common ground amidst differences. </span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Diverse Friendships, Relationship Communication, Stress Relief Techniques, Embracing Differences, Unique Stress Relief, Finding Common Ground, Opposites Attract</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#DiverseFriendships, #RelationshipGoals, #StressRelief, #CommunicationMatters, #EmbraceDifferences, #UniqueApproach</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt explore the importance of having friends with different beliefs and lifestyles. They delve into personal stories, including Fawn’s memorable encounter with a childhood classmate and the lessons learned from it. The episode takes a humorous turn as Fawn discusses her unique approach to relieving stress, and the couple reflect on communication challenges in relationships. Tune in for a lively discussion on the value of diverse friendships and finding common ground amidst differences. 
 
Diverse Friendships, Relationship Communication, Stress Relief Techniques, Embracing Differences, Unique Stress Relief, Finding Common Ground, Opposites Attract
 
#DiverseFriendships, #RelationshipGoals, #StressRelief, #CommunicationMatters, #EmbraceDifferences, #UniqueApproach
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Lalochezia and the Filtered World]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt explore the importance of having friends with different beliefs and lifestyles. They delve into personal stories, including Fawn’s memorable encounter with a childhood classmate and the lessons learned from it. The episode takes a humorous turn as Fawn discusses her unique approach to relieving stress, and the couple reflect on communication challenges in relationships. Tune in for a lively discussion on the value of diverse friendships and finding common ground amidst differences. </span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Diverse Friendships, Relationship Communication, Stress Relief Techniques, Embracing Differences, Unique Stress Relief, Finding Common Ground, Opposites Attract</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#DiverseFriendships, #RelationshipGoals, #StressRelief, #CommunicationMatters, #EmbraceDifferences, #UniqueApproach</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1789760/c1e-7jgva4mw4rud6v6z-wwzpmkn2i1oz-tpfwxn.mp3" length="33706822"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt explore the importance of having friends with different beliefs and lifestyles. They delve into personal stories, including Fawn’s memorable encounter with a childhood classmate and the lessons learned from it. The episode takes a humorous turn as Fawn discusses her unique approach to relieving stress, and the couple reflect on communication challenges in relationships. Tune in for a lively discussion on the value of diverse friendships and finding common ground amidst differences. 
 
Diverse Friendships, Relationship Communication, Stress Relief Techniques, Embracing Differences, Unique Stress Relief, Finding Common Ground, Opposites Attract
 
#DiverseFriendships, #RelationshipGoals, #StressRelief, #CommunicationMatters, #EmbraceDifferences, #UniqueApproach
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1789760/c1a-8j1v-8d4o9kmzuppq-3dbt0h.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:35:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Mental Fitness for a New World]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Jul 2024 04:55:10 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1786068</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/mental-fitness-for-a-new-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Join Matt and Fawn as they delve into the concept of mental fitness through the lens of negative visualization. Exploring ancient Stoic practices, they discuss how contemplating potential setbacks can build resilience and gratitude. From the origins of Stoicism to practical applications in modern life, they explore how acknowledging adversity can enhance psychological strength. Tune in for insights on balancing positive thinking with preparing for challenges in this thought-provoking episode on mental resilience and gratitude. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">In this episode, Matt and Fawn dive deep into the concept of "negative visualization," an ancient Stoic practice. Matt shares his recent Google Fu journey, leading him to explore how contemplating worst-case scenarios can actually foster resilience and gratitude. The discussion uncovers the surprising benefits of occasionally focusing on negative outcomes and how it contrasts with the modern emphasis on positive visualization. Tune in to discover how ancient philosophies can help us manage our minds in today's fast-paced world and enhance our psychological fitness. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#Friendship, #Resilience, #Stoicism, #Mindfulness, #Mental Fitness, #Gratitude, #Connection </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Join Matt and Fawn as they delve into the concept of mental fitness through the lens of negative visualization. Exploring ancient Stoic practices, they discuss how contemplating potential setbacks can build resilience and gratitude. From the origins of Stoicism to practical applications in modern life, they explore how acknowledging adversity can enhance psychological strength. Tune in for insights on balancing positive thinking with preparing for challenges in this thought-provoking episode on mental resilience and gratitude. 

In this episode, Matt and Fawn dive deep into the concept of "negative visualization," an ancient Stoic practice. Matt shares his recent Google Fu journey, leading him to explore how contemplating worst-case scenarios can actually foster resilience and gratitude. The discussion uncovers the surprising benefits of occasionally focusing on negative outcomes and how it contrasts with the modern emphasis on positive visualization. Tune in to discover how ancient philosophies can help us manage our minds in today's fast-paced world and enhance our psychological fitness. 

#Friendship, #Resilience, #Stoicism, #Mindfulness, #Mental Fitness, #Gratitude, #Connection ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Mental Fitness for a New World]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Join Matt and Fawn as they delve into the concept of mental fitness through the lens of negative visualization. Exploring ancient Stoic practices, they discuss how contemplating potential setbacks can build resilience and gratitude. From the origins of Stoicism to practical applications in modern life, they explore how acknowledging adversity can enhance psychological strength. Tune in for insights on balancing positive thinking with preparing for challenges in this thought-provoking episode on mental resilience and gratitude. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">In this episode, Matt and Fawn dive deep into the concept of "negative visualization," an ancient Stoic practice. Matt shares his recent Google Fu journey, leading him to explore how contemplating worst-case scenarios can actually foster resilience and gratitude. The discussion uncovers the surprising benefits of occasionally focusing on negative outcomes and how it contrasts with the modern emphasis on positive visualization. Tune in to discover how ancient philosophies can help us manage our minds in today's fast-paced world and enhance our psychological fitness. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#Friendship, #Resilience, #Stoicism, #Mindfulness, #Mental Fitness, #Gratitude, #Connection </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1786068/c1e-1j3zajvwm8hxv90m-kp24odj6izvk-7haxai.mp3" length="27608818"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Join Matt and Fawn as they delve into the concept of mental fitness through the lens of negative visualization. Exploring ancient Stoic practices, they discuss how contemplating potential setbacks can build resilience and gratitude. From the origins of Stoicism to practical applications in modern life, they explore how acknowledging adversity can enhance psychological strength. Tune in for insights on balancing positive thinking with preparing for challenges in this thought-provoking episode on mental resilience and gratitude. 

In this episode, Matt and Fawn dive deep into the concept of "negative visualization," an ancient Stoic practice. Matt shares his recent Google Fu journey, leading him to explore how contemplating worst-case scenarios can actually foster resilience and gratitude. The discussion uncovers the surprising benefits of occasionally focusing on negative outcomes and how it contrasts with the modern emphasis on positive visualization. Tune in to discover how ancient philosophies can help us manage our minds in today's fast-paced world and enhance our psychological fitness. 

#Friendship, #Resilience, #Stoicism, #Mindfulness, #Mental Fitness, #Gratitude, #Connection ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1786068/c1a-8j1v-qdrmp4p4adk2-gfzboy.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:28:45</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Party - "Making Memories: Planning Parties That Honor Friendship"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Jul 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1781454</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-the-party-making-memories-planning-parties-that-honor-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">In this week's episode, "The Party," Fawn and Matt discuss an eventful weekend involving their next-door neighbors' lively party. While Matt was asleep, Fawn found herself alone and feeling both inspired and lonely by the festivities next door. She braved the night, sitting outside on their deck, and reflected on her feelings about parties and social gatherings. This led to an introspective conversation between the two about what makes a party enjoyable and the art of hosting. Fawn shared her thoughts on the key elements of a successful party, and they reminisced about memorable gatherings from their past. The episode dives into the nuances of social connection, hospitality, and the significance of creating a warm and welcoming environment for friends and family. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#PartyPlanning, #HostingTips, #SocialGatherings, #HospitalityIdeas, #MemorableEvents, #NeighborStories, #IntrospectiveConversations </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, "The Party," Fawn and Matt discuss an eventful weekend involving their next-door neighbors' lively party. While Matt was asleep, Fawn found herself alone and feeling both inspired and lonely by the festivities next door. She braved the night, sitting outside on their deck, and reflected on her feelings about parties and social gatherings. This led to an introspective conversation between the two about what makes a party enjoyable and the art of hosting. Fawn shared her thoughts on the key elements of a successful party, and they reminisced about memorable gatherings from their past. The episode dives into the nuances of social connection, hospitality, and the significance of creating a warm and welcoming environment for friends and family. 

#PartyPlanning, #HostingTips, #SocialGatherings, #HospitalityIdeas, #MemorableEvents, #NeighborStories, #IntrospectiveConversations ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Party - "Making Memories: Planning Parties That Honor Friendship"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">In this week's episode, "The Party," Fawn and Matt discuss an eventful weekend involving their next-door neighbors' lively party. While Matt was asleep, Fawn found herself alone and feeling both inspired and lonely by the festivities next door. She braved the night, sitting outside on their deck, and reflected on her feelings about parties and social gatherings. This led to an introspective conversation between the two about what makes a party enjoyable and the art of hosting. Fawn shared her thoughts on the key elements of a successful party, and they reminisced about memorable gatherings from their past. The episode dives into the nuances of social connection, hospitality, and the significance of creating a warm and welcoming environment for friends and family. </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#PartyPlanning, #HostingTips, #SocialGatherings, #HospitalityIdeas, #MemorableEvents, #NeighborStories, #IntrospectiveConversations </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1781454/c1e-7jgva4r0p9id6v6z-v61z6d03c8wj-kx5aps.mp3" length="31451514"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, "The Party," Fawn and Matt discuss an eventful weekend involving their next-door neighbors' lively party. While Matt was asleep, Fawn found herself alone and feeling both inspired and lonely by the festivities next door. She braved the night, sitting outside on their deck, and reflected on her feelings about parties and social gatherings. This led to an introspective conversation between the two about what makes a party enjoyable and the art of hosting. Fawn shared her thoughts on the key elements of a successful party, and they reminisced about memorable gatherings from their past. The episode dives into the nuances of social connection, hospitality, and the significance of creating a warm and welcoming environment for friends and family. 

#PartyPlanning, #HostingTips, #SocialGatherings, #HospitalityIdeas, #MemorableEvents, #NeighborStories, #IntrospectiveConversations ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1781454/c1a-8j1v-6zdwzo04hqxr-jye77t.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:32:45</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The World's Fair]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 Jul 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1776539</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-worlds-fair</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode dives deep into the concept of hope and community through the lens of historical and modern perspectives on World's Fairs. Join Matt and Fawn as they explore the legacy of World's Fairs, from their origins showcasing futuristic visions to today's societal challenges and the role of media and technology in shaping our perceptions. Reflecting on the power of optimism amidst contemporary fears, they discuss how understanding our past can inspire a brighter future, fostering connections and resilience in an uncertain world. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#WorldsFair, </span>#FutureOfHope, #ScienceFiction, #PositivityMatters, #AIAndCreativity, #CommunityBuilding, #OvercomingFear</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode dives deep into the concept of hope and community through the lens of historical and modern perspectives on World's Fairs. Join Matt and Fawn as they explore the legacy of World's Fairs, from their origins showcasing futuristic visions to today's societal challenges and the role of media and technology in shaping our perceptions. Reflecting on the power of optimism amidst contemporary fears, they discuss how understanding our past can inspire a brighter future, fostering connections and resilience in an uncertain world. 
#WorldsFair, #FutureOfHope, #ScienceFiction, #PositivityMatters, #AIAndCreativity, #CommunityBuilding, #OvercomingFear]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The World's Fair]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode dives deep into the concept of hope and community through the lens of historical and modern perspectives on World's Fairs. Join Matt and Fawn as they explore the legacy of World's Fairs, from their origins showcasing futuristic visions to today's societal challenges and the role of media and technology in shaping our perceptions. Reflecting on the power of optimism amidst contemporary fears, they discuss how understanding our past can inspire a brighter future, fostering connections and resilience in an uncertain world. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">#WorldsFair, </span>#FutureOfHope, #ScienceFiction, #PositivityMatters, #AIAndCreativity, #CommunityBuilding, #OvercomingFear</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1776539/c1e-vom3b9pq72uwz12d-k5mm8onkaw47-qvxsep.mp3" length="29582412"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode dives deep into the concept of hope and community through the lens of historical and modern perspectives on World's Fairs. Join Matt and Fawn as they explore the legacy of World's Fairs, from their origins showcasing futuristic visions to today's societal challenges and the role of media and technology in shaping our perceptions. Reflecting on the power of optimism amidst contemporary fears, they discuss how understanding our past can inspire a brighter future, fostering connections and resilience in an uncertain world. 
#WorldsFair, #FutureOfHope, #ScienceFiction, #PositivityMatters, #AIAndCreativity, #CommunityBuilding, #OvercomingFear]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1776539/c1a-8j1v-92449g3mim64-yu5ku8.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:48</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Voice a Community with Rachael Naylor]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Jun 2024 04:26:25 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1770598</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-voice-a-community-with-rachael-naylor</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:x-large;">Fawn and Matt are joined by special guest Rachael Naylor, founder of the VoiceOver Network, as they explore how to build a community from the ground up using your voice and the transformative power of vulnerability and generosity. They discuss how openness fosters deep connections and creates supportive communities, drawing from personal experiences within the VoiceOver Network. Rachael shares insights on voice acting and the impact of authenticity in communication, while Fawn reflects on her journey of growth and success. The conversation underscores the importance of embracing authenticity, practicing generosity, and cultivating positive energy to navigate challenges and foster meaningful relationships. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:large;">Vulnerability, Generosity, Voiceover, Community, Authenticity, Connection, Growth</span></p>
<p>#VulnerabilityMatters, #VoiceOverCommunity, #GenerosityInAction, #AuthenticConnections, #VoiceActing, #CommunitySupport, #PersonalGrowth</p>
<p><span style="font-size:x-large;">Rachael Naylor</span></p>
<h2 class="western">https://www.instagram.com/rachael.naylor/</h2>
<p>https://www.instagram.com/the_voiceover_network/</p>
<p><a href="https://www.thevoiceovernetwork.org/"><span style="font-size:x-large;">https://www.thevoiceovernetwork.org</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size:x-large;">discount code: VONFRIENDS</span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt are joined by special guest Rachael Naylor, founder of the VoiceOver Network, as they explore how to build a community from the ground up using your voice and the transformative power of vulnerability and generosity. They discuss how openness fosters deep connections and creates supportive communities, drawing from personal experiences within the VoiceOver Network. Rachael shares insights on voice acting and the impact of authenticity in communication, while Fawn reflects on her journey of growth and success. The conversation underscores the importance of embracing authenticity, practicing generosity, and cultivating positive energy to navigate challenges and foster meaningful relationships. 
Vulnerability, Generosity, Voiceover, Community, Authenticity, Connection, Growth
#VulnerabilityMatters, #VoiceOverCommunity, #GenerosityInAction, #AuthenticConnections, #VoiceActing, #CommunitySupport, #PersonalGrowth
Rachael Naylor
https://www.instagram.com/rachael.naylor/
https://www.instagram.com/the_voiceover_network/
https://www.thevoiceovernetwork.org
discount code: VONFRIENDS]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Voice a Community with Rachael Naylor]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:x-large;">Fawn and Matt are joined by special guest Rachael Naylor, founder of the VoiceOver Network, as they explore how to build a community from the ground up using your voice and the transformative power of vulnerability and generosity. They discuss how openness fosters deep connections and creates supportive communities, drawing from personal experiences within the VoiceOver Network. Rachael shares insights on voice acting and the impact of authenticity in communication, while Fawn reflects on her journey of growth and success. The conversation underscores the importance of embracing authenticity, practicing generosity, and cultivating positive energy to navigate challenges and foster meaningful relationships. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:large;">Vulnerability, Generosity, Voiceover, Community, Authenticity, Connection, Growth</span></p>
<p>#VulnerabilityMatters, #VoiceOverCommunity, #GenerosityInAction, #AuthenticConnections, #VoiceActing, #CommunitySupport, #PersonalGrowth</p>
<p><span style="font-size:x-large;">Rachael Naylor</span></p>
<h2 class="western">https://www.instagram.com/rachael.naylor/</h2>
<p>https://www.instagram.com/the_voiceover_network/</p>
<p><a href="https://www.thevoiceovernetwork.org/"><span style="font-size:x-large;">https://www.thevoiceovernetwork.org</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size:x-large;">discount code: VONFRIENDS</span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1770598/c1e-q63gb2rn11f0v2vw-o87gvxp5bno7-qbxga4.mp3" length="64895771"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt are joined by special guest Rachael Naylor, founder of the VoiceOver Network, as they explore how to build a community from the ground up using your voice and the transformative power of vulnerability and generosity. They discuss how openness fosters deep connections and creates supportive communities, drawing from personal experiences within the VoiceOver Network. Rachael shares insights on voice acting and the impact of authenticity in communication, while Fawn reflects on her journey of growth and success. The conversation underscores the importance of embracing authenticity, practicing generosity, and cultivating positive energy to navigate challenges and foster meaningful relationships. 
Vulnerability, Generosity, Voiceover, Community, Authenticity, Connection, Growth
#VulnerabilityMatters, #VoiceOverCommunity, #GenerosityInAction, #AuthenticConnections, #VoiceActing, #CommunitySupport, #PersonalGrowth
Rachael Naylor
https://www.instagram.com/rachael.naylor/
https://www.instagram.com/the_voiceover_network/
https://www.thevoiceovernetwork.org
discount code: VONFRIENDS]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1770598/c1a-8j1v-xmzd3173towj-r1hdqp.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:07:35</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Travel, Friendship, and Rediscovering Passions: Through Mark Twain's Lens"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1763644</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/travel-friendship-and-rediscovering-passions-through-mark-twains-lens</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this heartwarming episode, Fawn and Matt kick off with a thought-provoking quote from Mark Twain, sparking a lively discussion on travel, self-awareness, and the complexities of friendship. They share personal anecdotes about visiting Mark Twain's house in Connecticut and delve into how travel shapes our perceptions and exposes us to a multitude of experiences. Fawn reflects on a recent encounter with a generous photographer that reignited her passion for photography and highlighted the importance of stepping outside comfort zones. The couple also discuss the emotional ups and downs of making new friends and the vulnerability involved. Their candid conversation is peppered with humor and insights, making for a relatable and inspiring episode.</p>
<p>#MarkTwain #TravelDiaries #FriendshipJourney #PersonalGrowth #PhotographyPassion #SelfAwareness #PodcastLife</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this heartwarming episode, Fawn and Matt kick off with a thought-provoking quote from Mark Twain, sparking a lively discussion on travel, self-awareness, and the complexities of friendship. They share personal anecdotes about visiting Mark Twain's house in Connecticut and delve into how travel shapes our perceptions and exposes us to a multitude of experiences. Fawn reflects on a recent encounter with a generous photographer that reignited her passion for photography and highlighted the importance of stepping outside comfort zones. The couple also discuss the emotional ups and downs of making new friends and the vulnerability involved. Their candid conversation is peppered with humor and insights, making for a relatable and inspiring episode.
#MarkTwain #TravelDiaries #FriendshipJourney #PersonalGrowth #PhotographyPassion #SelfAwareness #PodcastLife]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Travel, Friendship, and Rediscovering Passions: Through Mark Twain's Lens"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this heartwarming episode, Fawn and Matt kick off with a thought-provoking quote from Mark Twain, sparking a lively discussion on travel, self-awareness, and the complexities of friendship. They share personal anecdotes about visiting Mark Twain's house in Connecticut and delve into how travel shapes our perceptions and exposes us to a multitude of experiences. Fawn reflects on a recent encounter with a generous photographer that reignited her passion for photography and highlighted the importance of stepping outside comfort zones. The couple also discuss the emotional ups and downs of making new friends and the vulnerability involved. Their candid conversation is peppered with humor and insights, making for a relatable and inspiring episode.</p>
<p>#MarkTwain #TravelDiaries #FriendshipJourney #PersonalGrowth #PhotographyPassion #SelfAwareness #PodcastLife</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1763644/c1e-1j3zajnqpwaxv9v3-33z62mr1sqv2-i505iu.mp3" length="24147258"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this heartwarming episode, Fawn and Matt kick off with a thought-provoking quote from Mark Twain, sparking a lively discussion on travel, self-awareness, and the complexities of friendship. They share personal anecdotes about visiting Mark Twain's house in Connecticut and delve into how travel shapes our perceptions and exposes us to a multitude of experiences. Fawn reflects on a recent encounter with a generous photographer that reignited her passion for photography and highlighted the importance of stepping outside comfort zones. The couple also discuss the emotional ups and downs of making new friends and the vulnerability involved. Their candid conversation is peppered with humor and insights, making for a relatable and inspiring episode.
#MarkTwain #TravelDiaries #FriendshipJourney #PersonalGrowth #PhotographyPassion #SelfAwareness #PodcastLife]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1763644/c1a-8j1v-1xn6g731i50w-y6sex0.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:25:09</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Friendship and the Wisdom of Muhammad Ali: Navigating Life's Pebbles"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Jun 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1757486</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendship-and-the-wisdom-of-muhammad-ali-navigating-lifes-pebbles</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">We delve into the wisdom of Muhammad Ali, exploring his quote, "It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe." We reflect on how this profound message applies to friendship and personal growth. Join us as we discuss the importance of addressing the small irritants in our relationships, the necessity of true companionship, and how tending to the 'pebbles' in our lives can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections. Whether you're a fan of Muhammad Ali or seeking to nurture your friendships, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice. </span></p>
<p>#Friendship, #MuhammadAli, #LifeWisdom, #PersonalGrowth, #ConflictResolution, #SelfCare, #EmotionalHealth, #Respect, #Communication, #Relationships, #PodcastEpisode, #Inspiration</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We delve into the wisdom of Muhammad Ali, exploring his quote, "It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe." We reflect on how this profound message applies to friendship and personal growth. Join us as we discuss the importance of addressing the small irritants in our relationships, the necessity of true companionship, and how tending to the 'pebbles' in our lives can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections. Whether you're a fan of Muhammad Ali or seeking to nurture your friendships, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice. 
#Friendship, #MuhammadAli, #LifeWisdom, #PersonalGrowth, #ConflictResolution, #SelfCare, #EmotionalHealth, #Respect, #Communication, #Relationships, #PodcastEpisode, #Inspiration]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Friendship and the Wisdom of Muhammad Ali: Navigating Life's Pebbles"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;">We delve into the wisdom of Muhammad Ali, exploring his quote, "It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe." We reflect on how this profound message applies to friendship and personal growth. Join us as we discuss the importance of addressing the small irritants in our relationships, the necessity of true companionship, and how tending to the 'pebbles' in our lives can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections. Whether you're a fan of Muhammad Ali or seeking to nurture your friendships, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice. </span></p>
<p>#Friendship, #MuhammadAli, #LifeWisdom, #PersonalGrowth, #ConflictResolution, #SelfCare, #EmotionalHealth, #Respect, #Communication, #Relationships, #PodcastEpisode, #Inspiration</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1757486/c1e-p6omb5w093smo9o8-xmznw76qhm6j-bae1hy.mp3" length="25073039"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We delve into the wisdom of Muhammad Ali, exploring his quote, "It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe." We reflect on how this profound message applies to friendship and personal growth. Join us as we discuss the importance of addressing the small irritants in our relationships, the necessity of true companionship, and how tending to the 'pebbles' in our lives can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections. Whether you're a fan of Muhammad Ali or seeking to nurture your friendships, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice. 
#Friendship, #MuhammadAli, #LifeWisdom, #PersonalGrowth, #ConflictResolution, #SelfCare, #EmotionalHealth, #Respect, #Communication, #Relationships, #PodcastEpisode, #Inspiration]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1757486/c1a-8j1v-ddk941rqfvvz-k3zksi.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:07</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Heal After a Friendship Breakup Lessons in Emotional Detox and Self-Discovery]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 03 Jun 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1755015</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-heal-after-a-friendship-breakup-lessons-in-emotional-detox-and-self-discovery</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the complexities of friendship, particularly the challenging experience of friend breakups, n<span style="font-size:small;">avigating breakups, and embracing authenticity</span>. They discuss the emotional aftermath, comparing it to a dog's instinctive shake to detox from trauma. Fawn shares her personal journey of questioning and self-blame, eventually realizing the importance of addressing issues directly. The conversation highlights the dynamics of relationships, including the subtle signs of discomfort and the need for honest communication. The episode emphasizes the value of authenticity in friendships and the courage to let go of toxic connections while staying true to oneself.</p>
<p><strong>#FriendshipDynamics, #EffectiveCommunication, #SettingBoundaries, #PersonalGrowth, #NavigatingChange, #SocialSkills, #ConflictResolution</strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:small;">#FriendshipDynamics, </span></strong><strong>#CommunicationSkills, #NavigatingChange, #HealthyBoundaries</strong></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the complexities of friendship, particularly the challenging experience of friend breakups, navigating breakups, and embracing authenticity. They discuss the emotional aftermath, comparing it to a dog's instinctive shake to detox from trauma. Fawn shares her personal journey of questioning and self-blame, eventually realizing the importance of addressing issues directly. The conversation highlights the dynamics of relationships, including the subtle signs of discomfort and the need for honest communication. The episode emphasizes the value of authenticity in friendships and the courage to let go of toxic connections while staying true to oneself.
#FriendshipDynamics, #EffectiveCommunication, #SettingBoundaries, #PersonalGrowth, #NavigatingChange, #SocialSkills, #ConflictResolution#FriendshipDynamics, #CommunicationSkills, #NavigatingChange, #HealthyBoundaries]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Heal After a Friendship Breakup Lessons in Emotional Detox and Self-Discovery]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the complexities of friendship, particularly the challenging experience of friend breakups, n<span style="font-size:small;">avigating breakups, and embracing authenticity</span>. They discuss the emotional aftermath, comparing it to a dog's instinctive shake to detox from trauma. Fawn shares her personal journey of questioning and self-blame, eventually realizing the importance of addressing issues directly. The conversation highlights the dynamics of relationships, including the subtle signs of discomfort and the need for honest communication. The episode emphasizes the value of authenticity in friendships and the courage to let go of toxic connections while staying true to oneself.</p>
<p><strong>#FriendshipDynamics, #EffectiveCommunication, #SettingBoundaries, #PersonalGrowth, #NavigatingChange, #SocialSkills, #ConflictResolution</strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:small;">#FriendshipDynamics, </span></strong><strong>#CommunicationSkills, #NavigatingChange, #HealthyBoundaries</strong></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1755015/c1e-5jn4am1296u0xmx6-mq85g3wnh4dj-29ajcc.mp3" length="28743975"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the complexities of friendship, particularly the challenging experience of friend breakups, navigating breakups, and embracing authenticity. They discuss the emotional aftermath, comparing it to a dog's instinctive shake to detox from trauma. Fawn shares her personal journey of questioning and self-blame, eventually realizing the importance of addressing issues directly. The conversation highlights the dynamics of relationships, including the subtle signs of discomfort and the need for honest communication. The episode emphasizes the value of authenticity in friendships and the courage to let go of toxic connections while staying true to oneself.
#FriendshipDynamics, #EffectiveCommunication, #SettingBoundaries, #PersonalGrowth, #NavigatingChange, #SocialSkills, #ConflictResolution#FriendshipDynamics, #CommunicationSkills, #NavigatingChange, #HealthyBoundaries]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1755015/c1a-8j1v-v0nmw8p8t5xm-mknike.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:56</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Authentic Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 May 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1749789</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-authentic-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Fawn and Matt's conversation spans various topics, all tied to the central theme of authenticity and perception. They discuss how life patterns repeat until addressed, the changing nature of sensory experiences, and the subjective nature of perception. They emphasize the importance of being genuine in friendships and relationships, drawing on personal experiences and philosophical insights. Ultimately, they advocate for openness and authenticity as keys to meaningful connections and personal growth.</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Authenticity, </strong></span><strong>Friendship, Personal Growth, Perception, Sensory Experiences, Life Patterns, Vulnerability</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#Authenticity, </strong></span><strong>#TrueFriendship, #PersonalGrowth, #SelfAwareness, #MindfulLiving, #EmbraceChange, #GenuineConnections</strong></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt's conversation spans various topics, all tied to the central theme of authenticity and perception. They discuss how life patterns repeat until addressed, the changing nature of sensory experiences, and the subjective nature of perception. They emphasize the importance of being genuine in friendships and relationships, drawing on personal experiences and philosophical insights. Ultimately, they advocate for openness and authenticity as keys to meaningful connections and personal growth.
Authenticity, Friendship, Personal Growth, Perception, Sensory Experiences, Life Patterns, Vulnerability
 
#Authenticity, #TrueFriendship, #PersonalGrowth, #SelfAwareness, #MindfulLiving, #EmbraceChange, #GenuineConnections]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Authentic Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Fawn and Matt's conversation spans various topics, all tied to the central theme of authenticity and perception. They discuss how life patterns repeat until addressed, the changing nature of sensory experiences, and the subjective nature of perception. They emphasize the importance of being genuine in friendships and relationships, drawing on personal experiences and philosophical insights. Ultimately, they advocate for openness and authenticity as keys to meaningful connections and personal growth.</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Authenticity, </strong></span><strong>Friendship, Personal Growth, Perception, Sensory Experiences, Life Patterns, Vulnerability</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#Authenticity, </strong></span><strong>#TrueFriendship, #PersonalGrowth, #SelfAwareness, #MindfulLiving, #EmbraceChange, #GenuineConnections</strong></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1749789/c1e-k6v3bjg759i94140-njpq0v7pb6j1-oyzxgo.mp3" length="42088157"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt's conversation spans various topics, all tied to the central theme of authenticity and perception. They discuss how life patterns repeat until addressed, the changing nature of sensory experiences, and the subjective nature of perception. They emphasize the importance of being genuine in friendships and relationships, drawing on personal experiences and philosophical insights. Ultimately, they advocate for openness and authenticity as keys to meaningful connections and personal growth.
Authenticity, Friendship, Personal Growth, Perception, Sensory Experiences, Life Patterns, Vulnerability
 
#Authenticity, #TrueFriendship, #PersonalGrowth, #SelfAwareness, #MindfulLiving, #EmbraceChange, #GenuineConnections]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1749789/c1a-8j1v-njpq0v24t2gz-ezzram.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:43:50</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Guest House]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1745412</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-guest-house</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode of "Our Friendly World," Fawn and Matt delve into Rumi’s timeless poem, “The Guest House,” exploring how it relates to the ebb and flow of human emotions and experiences. Join us as we discuss the importance of welcoming every emotion and experience, even the challenging ones, and how they shape our journey in friendship and life. Fawn shares personal reflections on recent struggles, and the couple reflects on the lessons learned from their wedding chaos, emphasizing the value of steady, reliable friendships. Tune in for an insightful conversation on navigating negativity, finding gratitude in hardship, and honoring every experience as a guide towards personal growth.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">We cover Rumi The Guest House, embracing emotions, dealing with negativity, friendship podcast, personal growth, gratitude in hardship, wedding chaos, Our Friendly World podcast, emotional resilience, steady friendships, and life challenges.</span></p>
<p>#PodcastEpisode, #NewEpisode, #Friendship, #Rumi, #TheGuestHouse, #HumanExperience, #LifeLessons, #EmotionalWellness, #PersonalGrowth, #MentalHealth, #Mindfulness, #PositiveThinking, #LifeJourney, #SelfCare, #InspirationalQuotes, </p>
<p>#PodcastRecommendations, #PodcastCommunity, #PodcastLovers, #PodcastLife, #PodcastAddict, #PodcastsOfInstagram, #Motivation, #Inspiration, #Healing, #WellBeing, #LifeAdvice, #InnerPeace, #SelfImprovement, #EmotionalHealth</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of "Our Friendly World," Fawn and Matt delve into Rumi’s timeless poem, “The Guest House,” exploring how it relates to the ebb and flow of human emotions and experiences. Join us as we discuss the importance of welcoming every emotion and experience, even the challenging ones, and how they shape our journey in friendship and life. Fawn shares personal reflections on recent struggles, and the couple reflects on the lessons learned from their wedding chaos, emphasizing the value of steady, reliable friendships. Tune in for an insightful conversation on navigating negativity, finding gratitude in hardship, and honoring every experience as a guide towards personal growth. 
We cover Rumi The Guest House, embracing emotions, dealing with negativity, friendship podcast, personal growth, gratitude in hardship, wedding chaos, Our Friendly World podcast, emotional resilience, steady friendships, and life challenges.
#PodcastEpisode, #NewEpisode, #Friendship, #Rumi, #TheGuestHouse, #HumanExperience, #LifeLessons, #EmotionalWellness, #PersonalGrowth, #MentalHealth, #Mindfulness, #PositiveThinking, #LifeJourney, #SelfCare, #InspirationalQuotes, 
#PodcastRecommendations, #PodcastCommunity, #PodcastLovers, #PodcastLife, #PodcastAddict, #PodcastsOfInstagram, #Motivation, #Inspiration, #Healing, #WellBeing, #LifeAdvice, #InnerPeace, #SelfImprovement, #EmotionalHealth
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Guest House]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode of "Our Friendly World," Fawn and Matt delve into Rumi’s timeless poem, “The Guest House,” exploring how it relates to the ebb and flow of human emotions and experiences. Join us as we discuss the importance of welcoming every emotion and experience, even the challenging ones, and how they shape our journey in friendship and life. Fawn shares personal reflections on recent struggles, and the couple reflects on the lessons learned from their wedding chaos, emphasizing the value of steady, reliable friendships. Tune in for an insightful conversation on navigating negativity, finding gratitude in hardship, and honoring every experience as a guide towards personal growth.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">We cover Rumi The Guest House, embracing emotions, dealing with negativity, friendship podcast, personal growth, gratitude in hardship, wedding chaos, Our Friendly World podcast, emotional resilience, steady friendships, and life challenges.</span></p>
<p>#PodcastEpisode, #NewEpisode, #Friendship, #Rumi, #TheGuestHouse, #HumanExperience, #LifeLessons, #EmotionalWellness, #PersonalGrowth, #MentalHealth, #Mindfulness, #PositiveThinking, #LifeJourney, #SelfCare, #InspirationalQuotes, </p>
<p>#PodcastRecommendations, #PodcastCommunity, #PodcastLovers, #PodcastLife, #PodcastAddict, #PodcastsOfInstagram, #Motivation, #Inspiration, #Healing, #WellBeing, #LifeAdvice, #InnerPeace, #SelfImprovement, #EmotionalHealth</p>
<h3 class="western"><br /><br /></h3>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1745412/c1e-n670b5dd5qh9z4zm-1xnqwq5oa5rd-kmtofo.mp3" length="24900422"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of "Our Friendly World," Fawn and Matt delve into Rumi’s timeless poem, “The Guest House,” exploring how it relates to the ebb and flow of human emotions and experiences. Join us as we discuss the importance of welcoming every emotion and experience, even the challenging ones, and how they shape our journey in friendship and life. Fawn shares personal reflections on recent struggles, and the couple reflects on the lessons learned from their wedding chaos, emphasizing the value of steady, reliable friendships. Tune in for an insightful conversation on navigating negativity, finding gratitude in hardship, and honoring every experience as a guide towards personal growth. 
We cover Rumi The Guest House, embracing emotions, dealing with negativity, friendship podcast, personal growth, gratitude in hardship, wedding chaos, Our Friendly World podcast, emotional resilience, steady friendships, and life challenges.
#PodcastEpisode, #NewEpisode, #Friendship, #Rumi, #TheGuestHouse, #HumanExperience, #LifeLessons, #EmotionalWellness, #PersonalGrowth, #MentalHealth, #Mindfulness, #PositiveThinking, #LifeJourney, #SelfCare, #InspirationalQuotes, 
#PodcastRecommendations, #PodcastCommunity, #PodcastLovers, #PodcastLife, #PodcastAddict, #PodcastsOfInstagram, #Motivation, #Inspiration, #Healing, #WellBeing, #LifeAdvice, #InnerPeace, #SelfImprovement, #EmotionalHealth
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1745412/c1a-8j1v-wng5q589u38x-sejamn.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:25:56</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Embracing Uncertainty -  Nurturing Friendship and Peace in Troubled Times]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 May 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1739771</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/embracing-uncertainty-nurturing-friendship-andpeace-in-troubled-times</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week's conversation, we delve into the complexities of navigating turbulent times, both internally and externally. We use experiences with intuition and guidance, emphasizing the importance of patience, retreating to a safe place inside us, and maintaining faith in the face of uncertainty. We cover the challenges of maintaining friendships amidst conflicts and the value of surrounding ourselves with beauty to find solace. We're quite candid in our exchange and hope it offers a reminder how great it is to cultivate inner peace and resilience amidst life's storms. Our goal is to keep on weathering the waves of change with grace and compassion.</span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">So, if you're looking for some inspiration on how to navigate turbulent times with grace and compassion, hopefully, we can help. Tune in for insights on finding peace amidst life's storms. And remember, folks, be well, take care of yourselves, and keep finding beauty in the world around you. We'll catch you in the next episode!</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please leave a kind review and or subscribe to our podcast to listen weekly to thoughts on the art of friendship.</span></span></span></p>
<p>#FriendshipChallenges, #InnerPeace, #Self-Care, #Patience, #Faith, #Guidance, #Resilience</p>
<p>#Friendship, #Companionship, #SocialConnections, #BuildingRelationships, #SupportiveNetworks, #Bonding, #Camaraderie</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's conversation, we delve into the complexities of navigating turbulent times, both internally and externally. We use experiences with intuition and guidance, emphasizing the importance of patience, retreating to a safe place inside us, and maintaining faith in the face of uncertainty. We cover the challenges of maintaining friendships amidst conflicts and the value of surrounding ourselves with beauty to find solace. We're quite candid in our exchange and hope it offers a reminder how great it is to cultivate inner peace and resilience amidst life's storms. Our goal is to keep on weathering the waves of change with grace and compassion.
 
 
So, if you're looking for some inspiration on how to navigate turbulent times with grace and compassion, hopefully, we can help. Tune in for insights on finding peace amidst life's storms. And remember, folks, be well, take care of yourselves, and keep finding beauty in the world around you. We'll catch you in the next episode!
Please leave a kind review and or subscribe to our podcast to listen weekly to thoughts on the art of friendship.
#FriendshipChallenges, #InnerPeace, #Self-Care, #Patience, #Faith, #Guidance, #Resilience
#Friendship, #Companionship, #SocialConnections, #BuildingRelationships, #SupportiveNetworks, #Bonding, #Camaraderie



 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Embracing Uncertainty -  Nurturing Friendship and Peace in Troubled Times]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week's conversation, we delve into the complexities of navigating turbulent times, both internally and externally. We use experiences with intuition and guidance, emphasizing the importance of patience, retreating to a safe place inside us, and maintaining faith in the face of uncertainty. We cover the challenges of maintaining friendships amidst conflicts and the value of surrounding ourselves with beauty to find solace. We're quite candid in our exchange and hope it offers a reminder how great it is to cultivate inner peace and resilience amidst life's storms. Our goal is to keep on weathering the waves of change with grace and compassion.</span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">So, if you're looking for some inspiration on how to navigate turbulent times with grace and compassion, hopefully, we can help. Tune in for insights on finding peace amidst life's storms. And remember, folks, be well, take care of yourselves, and keep finding beauty in the world around you. We'll catch you in the next episode!</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please leave a kind review and or subscribe to our podcast to listen weekly to thoughts on the art of friendship.</span></span></span></p>
<p>#FriendshipChallenges, #InnerPeace, #Self-Care, #Patience, #Faith, #Guidance, #Resilience</p>
<p>#Friendship, #Companionship, #SocialConnections, #BuildingRelationships, #SupportiveNetworks, #Bonding, #Camaraderie</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1739771/c1e-w329brr0oxh0gmgk-60kn67gpt3zp-eyqd81.mp3" length="28317656"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's conversation, we delve into the complexities of navigating turbulent times, both internally and externally. We use experiences with intuition and guidance, emphasizing the importance of patience, retreating to a safe place inside us, and maintaining faith in the face of uncertainty. We cover the challenges of maintaining friendships amidst conflicts and the value of surrounding ourselves with beauty to find solace. We're quite candid in our exchange and hope it offers a reminder how great it is to cultivate inner peace and resilience amidst life's storms. Our goal is to keep on weathering the waves of change with grace and compassion.
 
 
So, if you're looking for some inspiration on how to navigate turbulent times with grace and compassion, hopefully, we can help. Tune in for insights on finding peace amidst life's storms. And remember, folks, be well, take care of yourselves, and keep finding beauty in the world around you. We'll catch you in the next episode!
Please leave a kind review and or subscribe to our podcast to listen weekly to thoughts on the art of friendship.
#FriendshipChallenges, #InnerPeace, #Self-Care, #Patience, #Faith, #Guidance, #Resilience
#Friendship, #Companionship, #SocialConnections, #BuildingRelationships, #SupportiveNetworks, #Bonding, #Camaraderie



 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1739771/c1a-8j1v-rown71xwsqqz-erxoys.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:29</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Sacred Commerce, Sacred Friend: Navigating Friendship and Business for Lasting Success"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 May 2024 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1735259</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/sacred-commerce-sacred-friend-navigating-friendship-and-business-for-lasting-success</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In our latest episode, we're diving deep into the beautiful dance between friendship and business, all through the lens of Sacred Commerce. It starts with Fawn's chance meeting with Gabe Fletcher, the mastermind behind “The Talkin' Paint Podcast.” From there, we're on a journey celebrating the magic of real connections. We explore eye-opening moments about salesmanship, software development, integrity in what we create, our passions, and life philosophies. We discuss the importance of humility, teamwork, and the bravery to ask for help. And as we soak up the love from supportive communities like podcasting and voice acting, we'll raise a toast to integrity, empathy, and resilience—the backbone of lasting friendships and meaningful ventures. Join us for an uplifting ride as we embrace the endless possibilities of human connection, shaping a kinder, brighter world in both our personal and professional circles.</span></span></span> </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Please sign up for our podcast to support or show:<br /><a href="">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#SacredCommerce, </strong></span><strong>#Friendship, #BusinessSuccess, #AuthenticRelationships, #CommunityBuilding, #HumanConnection, #ImpactfulEndeavors</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Info about our friend Gabe:</strong></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Reach out at <a href="">https://talkinpaint.com/</a></strong></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Serving the Auto Detailing &amp; Auto Film Industry - Gabe Fletcher, Founder of Detailing Growth Marketing Agency</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://detailinggrowth.com brings first-hand industry knowledge in business development, marketing strategies and growth concepts to the Auto Detailing, Ceramic Coating, Window Tinting &amp; Paint Protection Film Industry. </span></span></span><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Join their free marketing group on Facebook for more information - <a href="">https://facebook.com/groups/detailinggrowth/</a></span></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In our latest episode, we're diving deep into the beautiful dance between friendship and business, all through the lens of Sacred Commerce. It starts with Fawn's chance meeting with Gabe Fletcher, the mastermind behind “The Talkin' Paint Podcast.” From there, we're on a journey celebrating the magic of real connections. We explore eye-opening moments about salesmanship, software development, integrity in what we create, our passions, and life philosophies. We discuss the importance of humility, teamwork, and the bravery to ask for help. And as we soak up the love from supportive communities like podcasting and voice acting, we'll raise a toast to integrity, empathy, and resilience—the backbone of lasting friendships and meaningful ventures. Join us for an uplifting ride as we embrace the endless possibilities of human connection, shaping a kinder, brighter world in both our personal and professional circles. 
Please sign up for our podcast to support or show:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
#SacredCommerce, #Friendship, #BusinessSuccess, #AuthenticRelationships, #CommunityBuilding, #HumanConnection, #ImpactfulEndeavors
 
Info about our friend Gabe:
Reach out at https://talkinpaint.com/
Serving the Auto Detailing & Auto Film Industry - Gabe Fletcher, Founder of Detailing Growth Marketing Agency
https://detailinggrowth.com brings first-hand industry knowledge in business development, marketing strategies and growth concepts to the Auto Detailing, Ceramic Coating, Window Tinting & Paint Protection Film Industry. Join their free marketing group on Facebook for more information - https://facebook.com/groups/detailinggrowth/
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Sacred Commerce, Sacred Friend: Navigating Friendship and Business for Lasting Success"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In our latest episode, we're diving deep into the beautiful dance between friendship and business, all through the lens of Sacred Commerce. It starts with Fawn's chance meeting with Gabe Fletcher, the mastermind behind “The Talkin' Paint Podcast.” From there, we're on a journey celebrating the magic of real connections. We explore eye-opening moments about salesmanship, software development, integrity in what we create, our passions, and life philosophies. We discuss the importance of humility, teamwork, and the bravery to ask for help. And as we soak up the love from supportive communities like podcasting and voice acting, we'll raise a toast to integrity, empathy, and resilience—the backbone of lasting friendships and meaningful ventures. Join us for an uplifting ride as we embrace the endless possibilities of human connection, shaping a kinder, brighter world in both our personal and professional circles.</span></span></span> </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Please sign up for our podcast to support or show:<br /><a href="">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#SacredCommerce, </strong></span><strong>#Friendship, #BusinessSuccess, #AuthenticRelationships, #CommunityBuilding, #HumanConnection, #ImpactfulEndeavors</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Info about our friend Gabe:</strong></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Reach out at <a href="">https://talkinpaint.com/</a></strong></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Serving the Auto Detailing &amp; Auto Film Industry - Gabe Fletcher, Founder of Detailing Growth Marketing Agency</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://detailinggrowth.com brings first-hand industry knowledge in business development, marketing strategies and growth concepts to the Auto Detailing, Ceramic Coating, Window Tinting &amp; Paint Protection Film Industry. </span></span></span><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Join their free marketing group on Facebook for more information - <a href="">https://facebook.com/groups/detailinggrowth/</a></span></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1735259/c1e-n670b55qxvc9z4zm-8m6m6gv8axg5-s4kabg.mp3" length="29833594"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In our latest episode, we're diving deep into the beautiful dance between friendship and business, all through the lens of Sacred Commerce. It starts with Fawn's chance meeting with Gabe Fletcher, the mastermind behind “The Talkin' Paint Podcast.” From there, we're on a journey celebrating the magic of real connections. We explore eye-opening moments about salesmanship, software development, integrity in what we create, our passions, and life philosophies. We discuss the importance of humility, teamwork, and the bravery to ask for help. And as we soak up the love from supportive communities like podcasting and voice acting, we'll raise a toast to integrity, empathy, and resilience—the backbone of lasting friendships and meaningful ventures. Join us for an uplifting ride as we embrace the endless possibilities of human connection, shaping a kinder, brighter world in both our personal and professional circles. 
Please sign up for our podcast to support or show:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
#SacredCommerce, #Friendship, #BusinessSuccess, #AuthenticRelationships, #CommunityBuilding, #HumanConnection, #ImpactfulEndeavors
 
Info about our friend Gabe:
Reach out at https://talkinpaint.com/
Serving the Auto Detailing & Auto Film Industry - Gabe Fletcher, Founder of Detailing Growth Marketing Agency
https://detailinggrowth.com brings first-hand industry knowledge in business development, marketing strategies and growth concepts to the Auto Detailing, Ceramic Coating, Window Tinting & Paint Protection Film Industry. Join their free marketing group on Facebook for more information - https://facebook.com/groups/detailinggrowth/
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1735259/c1a-8j1v-04r4rx14cwqx-bnkqkt.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:04</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Manifestation Dealer]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Apr 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1729356</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/manifestation-dealer</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please don't judge us too harshly for this episode. We hope this is not the first time you're listening to us,  BECAUSE we were exhausted during this conversation and quite frankly, we don't even know if we got our point across, or if we make any sense. Please forgive us. </span></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">But anyway, this week on "Manifestation Dealer," Fawn and Matt explore the pitfalls of modern spirituality and the quest for happiness. They discuss the influence of self-help gurus, the difference between manifestation and visualization, and the importance of genuine connections. Join them as they navigate the complexities of positivity, resilience, and the pursuit of authentic joy in a world filled with mixed messages. Tune in for insightful discussions and practical advice on embracing a mindset of abundance and true friendship.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#</span>Friendship, #Authenticity, #Positivity, #Resilience, #Self-help, #Joyful, #GenuineConnections</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Please don't judge us too harshly for this episode. We hope this is not the first time you're listening to us,  BECAUSE we were exhausted during this conversation and quite frankly, we don't even know if we got our point across, or if we make any sense. Please forgive us. 
But anyway, this week on "Manifestation Dealer," Fawn and Matt explore the pitfalls of modern spirituality and the quest for happiness. They discuss the influence of self-help gurus, the difference between manifestation and visualization, and the importance of genuine connections. Join them as they navigate the complexities of positivity, resilience, and the pursuit of authentic joy in a world filled with mixed messages. Tune in for insightful discussions and practical advice on embracing a mindset of abundance and true friendship. 
#Friendship, #Authenticity, #Positivity, #Resilience, #Self-help, #Joyful, #GenuineConnections]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Manifestation Dealer]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please don't judge us too harshly for this episode. We hope this is not the first time you're listening to us,  BECAUSE we were exhausted during this conversation and quite frankly, we don't even know if we got our point across, or if we make any sense. Please forgive us. </span></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">But anyway, this week on "Manifestation Dealer," Fawn and Matt explore the pitfalls of modern spirituality and the quest for happiness. They discuss the influence of self-help gurus, the difference between manifestation and visualization, and the importance of genuine connections. Join them as they navigate the complexities of positivity, resilience, and the pursuit of authentic joy in a world filled with mixed messages. Tune in for insightful discussions and practical advice on embracing a mindset of abundance and true friendship.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#</span>Friendship, #Authenticity, #Positivity, #Resilience, #Self-help, #Joyful, #GenuineConnections</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1729356/c1e-1j3zajjg08fxv9vo-wng7k333tzo-oonrin.mp3" length="18740121"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Please don't judge us too harshly for this episode. We hope this is not the first time you're listening to us,  BECAUSE we were exhausted during this conversation and quite frankly, we don't even know if we got our point across, or if we make any sense. Please forgive us. 
But anyway, this week on "Manifestation Dealer," Fawn and Matt explore the pitfalls of modern spirituality and the quest for happiness. They discuss the influence of self-help gurus, the difference between manifestation and visualization, and the importance of genuine connections. Join them as they navigate the complexities of positivity, resilience, and the pursuit of authentic joy in a world filled with mixed messages. Tune in for insightful discussions and practical advice on embracing a mindset of abundance and true friendship. 
#Friendship, #Authenticity, #Positivity, #Resilience, #Self-help, #Joyful, #GenuineConnections]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1729356/c1a-8j1v-wng7k333tq7j-cf7fsf.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:19:31</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Navigating Friendship - The Frog and the Scorpion: Resilience and Perseverance in the Face of Adversity]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Apr 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1725365</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/navigating-friendship-the-frog-and-the-scorpion-resilience-and-perseverance-in-the-face-of-adversity</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Title:  Navigating Friendship - The Frog and the Scorpion: Resilience and Perseverance in the Face of Adversity</p>
<p>Discover how to navigate the complexities of friendship with resilience and perseverance. Join Fawn and Matt as they explore the challenges of human relationships, including moments of self-doubt and introspection. Learn valuable insights on maintaining perspective amidst life's ups and downs, and understand the concept of projection in interpersonal dynamics. Dive into candid conversations and reflections to enhance your understanding of friendship and self-esteem preservation.</p>
<p>#Friendship, #Resilience, #Perseverance, #HumanRelationships, #Self-doubt, #Introspection, #Projection</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Title:  Navigating Friendship - The Frog and the Scorpion: Resilience and Perseverance in the Face of Adversity
Discover how to navigate the complexities of friendship with resilience and perseverance. Join Fawn and Matt as they explore the challenges of human relationships, including moments of self-doubt and introspection. Learn valuable insights on maintaining perspective amidst life's ups and downs, and understand the concept of projection in interpersonal dynamics. Dive into candid conversations and reflections to enhance your understanding of friendship and self-esteem preservation.
#Friendship, #Resilience, #Perseverance, #HumanRelationships, #Self-doubt, #Introspection, #Projection]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Navigating Friendship - The Frog and the Scorpion: Resilience and Perseverance in the Face of Adversity]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Title:  Navigating Friendship - The Frog and the Scorpion: Resilience and Perseverance in the Face of Adversity</p>
<p>Discover how to navigate the complexities of friendship with resilience and perseverance. Join Fawn and Matt as they explore the challenges of human relationships, including moments of self-doubt and introspection. Learn valuable insights on maintaining perspective amidst life's ups and downs, and understand the concept of projection in interpersonal dynamics. Dive into candid conversations and reflections to enhance your understanding of friendship and self-esteem preservation.</p>
<p>#Friendship, #Resilience, #Perseverance, #HumanRelationships, #Self-doubt, #Introspection, #Projection</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1725365/c1e-z08nsm8kjmhokrkx-60kqodrqs5j7-sbbtsa.mp3" length="43085408"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Title:  Navigating Friendship - The Frog and the Scorpion: Resilience and Perseverance in the Face of Adversity
Discover how to navigate the complexities of friendship with resilience and perseverance. Join Fawn and Matt as they explore the challenges of human relationships, including moments of self-doubt and introspection. Learn valuable insights on maintaining perspective amidst life's ups and downs, and understand the concept of projection in interpersonal dynamics. Dive into candid conversations and reflections to enhance your understanding of friendship and self-esteem preservation.
#Friendship, #Resilience, #Perseverance, #HumanRelationships, #Self-doubt, #Introspection, #Projection]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1725365/c1a-8j1v-7nqx340rs2rr-rm1l15.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:44:52</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Questioning Conversations and Authentic Connections: Navigating Friendship in an Ever-Changing World"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1717813</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/questioning-conversations-and-authentic-connections-navigating-friendship-in-an-ever-changing-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Dive into a candid conversation about the challenges of modern friendship with Fawn and Matt on this week's episode of "Questioning Conversation." As they reflect on the ongoing loneliness epidemic and their own journey in addressing it, Fawn and Matt explore the intricacies of human connection amidst pain and change. Rejecting superficiality, they share personal anecdotes and insights into fostering genuine relationships based on empathy, vulnerability, and compassionate communication. Join them as they navigate through thought-provoking questions, from the impact of loneliness to the essence of successful interpersonal connections. Discover how embracing authenticity and understanding can lead to meaningful friendships in an ever-changing world. Tune in for a refreshing perspective on friendship and connection, filled with humor, honesty, and heartfelt wisdom.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn and Matt navigate through a spectrum of topics, demonstrating how simple yet profound conversations can deepen bonds and enrich lives. Tune in for insightful conversations and practical tips on nurturing authentic connections in an increasingly disconnected world. Because, as they say, every question holds the potential to spark a meaningful connection. </span></span> </span></span></p>
<h3 class="western"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#CandidConversation, #ChallengesOfModernFriendship, #LonelinessEpidemic, #HumanConnection, #RejectingSuperficiality, #Empathy, #Vulnerability, #CompassionateCommunication, #Thought-provokingQuestions, #MeaningfulFriendships, #Authenticity, #Understanding, #NurturingConnections, #Ever-changingWorld, #RefreshingPerspective, #Humor, #Honesty, #HeartfeltWisdom, #DeepeningBonds, #EnrichingLives</span></span></span></h3>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Dive into a candid conversation about the challenges of modern friendship with Fawn and Matt on this week's episode of "Questioning Conversation." As they reflect on the ongoing loneliness epidemic and their own journey in addressing it, Fawn and Matt explore the intricacies of human connection amidst pain and change. Rejecting superficiality, they share personal anecdotes and insights into fostering genuine relationships based on empathy, vulnerability, and compassionate communication. Join them as they navigate through thought-provoking questions, from the impact of loneliness to the essence of successful interpersonal connections. Discover how embracing authenticity and understanding can lead to meaningful friendships in an ever-changing world. Tune in for a refreshing perspective on friendship and connection, filled with humor, honesty, and heartfelt wisdom.
Fawn and Matt navigate through a spectrum of topics, demonstrating how simple yet profound conversations can deepen bonds and enrich lives. Tune in for insightful conversations and practical tips on nurturing authentic connections in an increasingly disconnected world. Because, as they say, every question holds the potential to spark a meaningful connection.  
#CandidConversation, #ChallengesOfModernFriendship, #LonelinessEpidemic, #HumanConnection, #RejectingSuperficiality, #Empathy, #Vulnerability, #CompassionateCommunication, #Thought-provokingQuestions, #MeaningfulFriendships, #Authenticity, #Understanding, #NurturingConnections, #Ever-changingWorld, #RefreshingPerspective, #Humor, #Honesty, #HeartfeltWisdom, #DeepeningBonds, #EnrichingLives]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Questioning Conversations and Authentic Connections: Navigating Friendship in an Ever-Changing World"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Dive into a candid conversation about the challenges of modern friendship with Fawn and Matt on this week's episode of "Questioning Conversation." As they reflect on the ongoing loneliness epidemic and their own journey in addressing it, Fawn and Matt explore the intricacies of human connection amidst pain and change. Rejecting superficiality, they share personal anecdotes and insights into fostering genuine relationships based on empathy, vulnerability, and compassionate communication. Join them as they navigate through thought-provoking questions, from the impact of loneliness to the essence of successful interpersonal connections. Discover how embracing authenticity and understanding can lead to meaningful friendships in an ever-changing world. Tune in for a refreshing perspective on friendship and connection, filled with humor, honesty, and heartfelt wisdom.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn and Matt navigate through a spectrum of topics, demonstrating how simple yet profound conversations can deepen bonds and enrich lives. Tune in for insightful conversations and practical tips on nurturing authentic connections in an increasingly disconnected world. Because, as they say, every question holds the potential to spark a meaningful connection. </span></span> </span></span></p>
<h3 class="western"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#CandidConversation, #ChallengesOfModernFriendship, #LonelinessEpidemic, #HumanConnection, #RejectingSuperficiality, #Empathy, #Vulnerability, #CompassionateCommunication, #Thought-provokingQuestions, #MeaningfulFriendships, #Authenticity, #Understanding, #NurturingConnections, #Ever-changingWorld, #RefreshingPerspective, #Humor, #Honesty, #HeartfeltWisdom, #DeepeningBonds, #EnrichingLives</span></span></span></h3>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1717813/c1e-r691bjzwo7b2kwkz-p8dgo52of9o1-pgonaw.mp3" length="28342734"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Dive into a candid conversation about the challenges of modern friendship with Fawn and Matt on this week's episode of "Questioning Conversation." As they reflect on the ongoing loneliness epidemic and their own journey in addressing it, Fawn and Matt explore the intricacies of human connection amidst pain and change. Rejecting superficiality, they share personal anecdotes and insights into fostering genuine relationships based on empathy, vulnerability, and compassionate communication. Join them as they navigate through thought-provoking questions, from the impact of loneliness to the essence of successful interpersonal connections. Discover how embracing authenticity and understanding can lead to meaningful friendships in an ever-changing world. Tune in for a refreshing perspective on friendship and connection, filled with humor, honesty, and heartfelt wisdom.
Fawn and Matt navigate through a spectrum of topics, demonstrating how simple yet profound conversations can deepen bonds and enrich lives. Tune in for insightful conversations and practical tips on nurturing authentic connections in an increasingly disconnected world. Because, as they say, every question holds the potential to spark a meaningful connection.  
#CandidConversation, #ChallengesOfModernFriendship, #LonelinessEpidemic, #HumanConnection, #RejectingSuperficiality, #Empathy, #Vulnerability, #CompassionateCommunication, #Thought-provokingQuestions, #MeaningfulFriendships, #Authenticity, #Understanding, #NurturingConnections, #Ever-changingWorld, #RefreshingPerspective, #Humor, #Honesty, #HeartfeltWisdom, #DeepeningBonds, #EnrichingLives]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1717813/c1a-8j1v-v0n2m59mfvpk-wjh543.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:31</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Understanding Pain in Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Apr 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1709438</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/understanding-pain-in-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the intricacies of friendship amidst pain. Fawn opens up about her recent struggles, highlighting how pain, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, can deeply influence our interactions with others. Drawing parallels between pain and behavior, they explore how pain manifests in subtle cues like body language and tone of voice, affecting our relationships. Reflecting on personal experiences, they emphasize the importance of empathy and vulnerability in fostering meaningful connections. Offering practical insights, they discuss strategies for navigating friendships with grace and understanding, encouraging viewers to adopt a perspective of compassionate detachment. Through candid dialogue and heartfelt anecdotes, Fawn and Matt illuminate the complexities of human connection, inviting listeners to embrace empathy and kindness in their interactions.</p>
<p><strong>Key Themes:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Understanding pain's impact on behavior</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Practicing empathy and vulnerability in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Strategies for fostering meaningful connections</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Importance of compassionate detachment</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#Friendship, #</span>Pain, #Empathy, #Vulnerability, #HumanConnection, #Relationships, #CompassionateDetachment, #Emotional Resilience, #MeaningfulConnections, #Understanding Behavior, #FriendshipDynamics, #InterpersonalCommunication, #SupportiveRelationships, #NavigatingFriendshipChallenges, #BuildingTrust</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the intricacies of friendship amidst pain. Fawn opens up about her recent struggles, highlighting how pain, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, can deeply influence our interactions with others. Drawing parallels between pain and behavior, they explore how pain manifests in subtle cues like body language and tone of voice, affecting our relationships. Reflecting on personal experiences, they emphasize the importance of empathy and vulnerability in fostering meaningful connections. Offering practical insights, they discuss strategies for navigating friendships with grace and understanding, encouraging viewers to adopt a perspective of compassionate detachment. Through candid dialogue and heartfelt anecdotes, Fawn and Matt illuminate the complexities of human connection, inviting listeners to embrace empathy and kindness in their interactions.
Key Themes:


Understanding pain's impact on behavior


Practicing empathy and vulnerability in friendships


Strategies for fostering meaningful connections


Importance of compassionate detachment


#Friendship, #Pain, #Empathy, #Vulnerability, #HumanConnection, #Relationships, #CompassionateDetachment, #Emotional Resilience, #MeaningfulConnections, #Understanding Behavior, #FriendshipDynamics, #InterpersonalCommunication, #SupportiveRelationships, #NavigatingFriendshipChallenges, #BuildingTrust]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Understanding Pain in Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the intricacies of friendship amidst pain. Fawn opens up about her recent struggles, highlighting how pain, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, can deeply influence our interactions with others. Drawing parallels between pain and behavior, they explore how pain manifests in subtle cues like body language and tone of voice, affecting our relationships. Reflecting on personal experiences, they emphasize the importance of empathy and vulnerability in fostering meaningful connections. Offering practical insights, they discuss strategies for navigating friendships with grace and understanding, encouraging viewers to adopt a perspective of compassionate detachment. Through candid dialogue and heartfelt anecdotes, Fawn and Matt illuminate the complexities of human connection, inviting listeners to embrace empathy and kindness in their interactions.</p>
<p><strong>Key Themes:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Understanding pain's impact on behavior</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Practicing empathy and vulnerability in friendships</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Strategies for fostering meaningful connections</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Importance of compassionate detachment</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#Friendship, #</span>Pain, #Empathy, #Vulnerability, #HumanConnection, #Relationships, #CompassionateDetachment, #Emotional Resilience, #MeaningfulConnections, #Understanding Behavior, #FriendshipDynamics, #InterpersonalCommunication, #SupportiveRelationships, #NavigatingFriendshipChallenges, #BuildingTrust</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1709438/c1e-vom3b9rz0gfwz1zp-2o1gxz23t707-rfhd3q.mp3" length="17966061"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the intricacies of friendship amidst pain. Fawn opens up about her recent struggles, highlighting how pain, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, can deeply influence our interactions with others. Drawing parallels between pain and behavior, they explore how pain manifests in subtle cues like body language and tone of voice, affecting our relationships. Reflecting on personal experiences, they emphasize the importance of empathy and vulnerability in fostering meaningful connections. Offering practical insights, they discuss strategies for navigating friendships with grace and understanding, encouraging viewers to adopt a perspective of compassionate detachment. Through candid dialogue and heartfelt anecdotes, Fawn and Matt illuminate the complexities of human connection, inviting listeners to embrace empathy and kindness in their interactions.
Key Themes:


Understanding pain's impact on behavior


Practicing empathy and vulnerability in friendships


Strategies for fostering meaningful connections


Importance of compassionate detachment


#Friendship, #Pain, #Empathy, #Vulnerability, #HumanConnection, #Relationships, #CompassionateDetachment, #Emotional Resilience, #MeaningfulConnections, #Understanding Behavior, #FriendshipDynamics, #InterpersonalCommunication, #SupportiveRelationships, #NavigatingFriendshipChallenges, #BuildingTrust]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1709438/c1a-8j1v-mq387nmri1j3-1ho9wo.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:18:42</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Finding Happiness and Deepening Friendships: Embracing Rituals for Everyday Joy"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 Apr 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1704111</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/finding-happiness-and-deepening-friendships-embracing-rituals-for-everyday-joy</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week's episode of "Perfect Days," Fawn and Matt dive into the importance of rituals and routines in finding happiness and deepening friendships. Inspired by a Japanese film titled "Perfect Days," the hosts explore how the protagonist's daily routines bring him peace and fulfillment, despite the mundanity of his tasks. They discuss how too many choices can lead to analysis paralysis, emphasizing the value of simplicity and shared experiences in fostering intimacy and connection with others. Through anecdotes and personal reflections, they highlight the significance of finding rituals that bring joy and meaning to everyday life. Tune in to discover the beauty in embracing rituals and the impact they can have on your happiness and relationships.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><br /><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">#FriendshipGoals #RitualsOfFriendship #DeepeningConnections #HappinessThroughRituals #SimpleJoys #IntimateMoments #EmbracingRituals #MeaningfulConnections #EverydayHappiness #FindingJoy</span></span></span> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of "Perfect Days," Fawn and Matt dive into the importance of rituals and routines in finding happiness and deepening friendships. Inspired by a Japanese film titled "Perfect Days," the hosts explore how the protagonist's daily routines bring him peace and fulfillment, despite the mundanity of his tasks. They discuss how too many choices can lead to analysis paralysis, emphasizing the value of simplicity and shared experiences in fostering intimacy and connection with others. Through anecdotes and personal reflections, they highlight the significance of finding rituals that bring joy and meaning to everyday life. Tune in to discover the beauty in embracing rituals and the impact they can have on your happiness and relationships. 
#FriendshipGoals #RitualsOfFriendship #DeepeningConnections #HappinessThroughRituals #SimpleJoys #IntimateMoments #EmbracingRituals #MeaningfulConnections #EverydayHappiness #FindingJoy ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Finding Happiness and Deepening Friendships: Embracing Rituals for Everyday Joy"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week's episode of "Perfect Days," Fawn and Matt dive into the importance of rituals and routines in finding happiness and deepening friendships. Inspired by a Japanese film titled "Perfect Days," the hosts explore how the protagonist's daily routines bring him peace and fulfillment, despite the mundanity of his tasks. They discuss how too many choices can lead to analysis paralysis, emphasizing the value of simplicity and shared experiences in fostering intimacy and connection with others. Through anecdotes and personal reflections, they highlight the significance of finding rituals that bring joy and meaning to everyday life. Tune in to discover the beauty in embracing rituals and the impact they can have on your happiness and relationships.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><br /><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">#FriendshipGoals #RitualsOfFriendship #DeepeningConnections #HappinessThroughRituals #SimpleJoys #IntimateMoments #EmbracingRituals #MeaningfulConnections #EverydayHappiness #FindingJoy</span></span></span> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1704111/c1e-5jn4amg156s0xmx6-dd77348rsrqz-savu6u.mp3" length="27591661"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode of "Perfect Days," Fawn and Matt dive into the importance of rituals and routines in finding happiness and deepening friendships. Inspired by a Japanese film titled "Perfect Days," the hosts explore how the protagonist's daily routines bring him peace and fulfillment, despite the mundanity of his tasks. They discuss how too many choices can lead to analysis paralysis, emphasizing the value of simplicity and shared experiences in fostering intimacy and connection with others. Through anecdotes and personal reflections, they highlight the significance of finding rituals that bring joy and meaning to everyday life. Tune in to discover the beauty in embracing rituals and the impact they can have on your happiness and relationships. 
#FriendshipGoals #RitualsOfFriendship #DeepeningConnections #HappinessThroughRituals #SimpleJoys #IntimateMoments #EmbracingRituals #MeaningfulConnections #EverydayHappiness #FindingJoy ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1704111/c1a-8j1v-nj995ok6fdjd-9qrsot.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:28:44</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Embracing the Enchanted Stranger"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 25 Mar 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1689890</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/embracing-the-enchanted-stranger</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt explore the concept of the "Enchanted Stranger" and how every encounter in life, no matter how brief, has the power to influence and shape us. Reflecting on a recent encounter with a lost stranger, Fawn shares her journey of moving past past trauma to approach interactions with love and appreciation. They discuss the importance of self-love as the foundation for extending kindness and understanding to others, even in challenging situations. Join them as they delve into the power of embracing each encounter with an open heart and the transformative impact it can have on our lives.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#EnchantedStranger, #EmbracingEachEncounter, #TransformativeImpact, #PowerOfEmbracing, #ImportanceOfSelf-Love, #HonoringAndAppreciatingOurselves, #MovingPastTrauma</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt explore the concept of the "Enchanted Stranger" and how every encounter in life, no matter how brief, has the power to influence and shape us. Reflecting on a recent encounter with a lost stranger, Fawn shares her journey of moving past past trauma to approach interactions with love and appreciation. They discuss the importance of self-love as the foundation for extending kindness and understanding to others, even in challenging situations. Join them as they delve into the power of embracing each encounter with an open heart and the transformative impact it can have on our lives.
 
#EnchantedStranger, #EmbracingEachEncounter, #TransformativeImpact, #PowerOfEmbracing, #ImportanceOfSelf-Love, #HonoringAndAppreciatingOurselves, #MovingPastTrauma
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Embracing the Enchanted Stranger"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt explore the concept of the "Enchanted Stranger" and how every encounter in life, no matter how brief, has the power to influence and shape us. Reflecting on a recent encounter with a lost stranger, Fawn shares her journey of moving past past trauma to approach interactions with love and appreciation. They discuss the importance of self-love as the foundation for extending kindness and understanding to others, even in challenging situations. Join them as they delve into the power of embracing each encounter with an open heart and the transformative impact it can have on our lives.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#EnchantedStranger, #EmbracingEachEncounter, #TransformativeImpact, #PowerOfEmbracing, #ImportanceOfSelf-Love, #HonoringAndAppreciatingOurselves, #MovingPastTrauma</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1689890/c1e-z08nsmgmzgaokrkx-nj9gwxw0tzo7-vrvyfy.mp3" length="31233339"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt explore the concept of the "Enchanted Stranger" and how every encounter in life, no matter how brief, has the power to influence and shape us. Reflecting on a recent encounter with a lost stranger, Fawn shares her journey of moving past past trauma to approach interactions with love and appreciation. They discuss the importance of self-love as the foundation for extending kindness and understanding to others, even in challenging situations. Join them as they delve into the power of embracing each encounter with an open heart and the transformative impact it can have on our lives.
 
#EnchantedStranger, #EmbracingEachEncounter, #TransformativeImpact, #PowerOfEmbracing, #ImportanceOfSelf-Love, #HonoringAndAppreciatingOurselves, #MovingPastTrauma
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1689890/c1a-8j1v-60pvd2d4unk-11yx4g.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:32:32</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Hostage Friend?]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Mar 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1679267</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-hostage-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">This week's episode of "Our Friendly World" delves into the concept of "hostage friends" - those relationships that may feel forced or obligatory due to shared circumstances, such as working together or attending the same school. Fawn and Matt reflect on their experiences living on an isolated island and forming friendships primarily with people they interacted with at the local grocery store. They explore the dynamics of these relationships, questioning whether they were genuine friendships or merely a result of convenience and circumstance.<br />They discuss the importance of seeking out true friendships based on mutual connection and genuine interest rather than settling for relationships that feel obligatory or one-sided. They emphasize the significance of being objective and neutral in assessing friendships, avoiding the pitfalls of emotional attachment and desire for validation.<br />Overall, the episode encourages listeners to examine the nature of their friendships and pursue authentic connections that bring joy and fulfillment.<br /><br /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#FriendshipMovement, </span>#IslandLiving, #PlatonicFriendships, #TrueFriendship, #NegativeThinking, #FriendshipEtymology, #ClassIssues, #SpiritualityOfFriendship, #ManifestingFriendship, #CaptiveFriendships, #ObjectiveFriendship, #FindingTrueFriends, #FriendshipJourney, #MomentumInFriendship, #WorkFriends, #SchoolFriends, #FriendshipTips, #EtymologyExploration, #ConsciousFriendship, #DesireForTrueFriends</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Title: The Hostage Friend</span></p>
<ol type="I">
<li>
<p>Introduction</p>
<p>A. Fawn and Matt discuss their experience living on an island in Washington state</p>
<p>B. Feeling isolated and the origins of their friendship movement</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="2" type="I">
<li>
<p>Movie Night Plot Holes</p>
<p>A. Fawn and Matt's discussion about watching "The Grand Tour" and finding plot holes</p>
<p>B. Suspend disbelief and the challenges of ignoring plot inconsistencies</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="3" type="I">
<li>
<p>Island Life and Limited Interactions</p>
<p>A. Living on the island and limited social interactions</p>
<p>B. Main interactions with the town and country market and the Blackbird Coffee Shop</p>
<p>C. Development of friendships with people working at the grocery store</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="4" type="I">
<li>
<p>The Concept of Hostage Friends</p>
<p>A. Fawn's realization that their main friends were from the grocery store</p>
<p>B. Exploring the idea of "hostage friends" and the obligation to be friendly</p>
<p>C. Fawn's experiences of racial tension during Obama's election</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="5" type="I">
<li>
<p>Etymology of "Hostage" and "Host"</p>
<p>A. Exploring the etymology of the word "hostage" and its connection to "host"</p>
<p>B. Discussion on the meaning of hospitality and ties of friendship</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="6" type="I">
<li>
<p>Friendships and Class Issues</p>
<p>A. Matt's perspective on potential class issues in their friendships</p>
<p>B. Fawn's reflection on belonging to a certain class</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="7" type="I">
<li>
<p>True Friendship and Conscious Intentions</p>
<p>A. Emphasizing the importance of seeking true friendship</p>
<p>B. Putting intentions out into the universe and engaging in activities to meet like-minded individuals</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="8" type="I">
<li>
<p>Conclusion</p>
<p>A. Fawn's personal experiences and the impact on her perspective</p>
<p>B. Encouraging listeners to take an unbiased and objective approach to evaluating friendships</p>
<p>C. Expressing love and gratitude to the listeners</p>
</li>
</ol>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode of "Our Friendly World" delves into the concept of "hostage friends" - those relationships that may feel forced or obligatory due to shared circumstances, such as working together or attending the same school. Fawn and Matt reflect on their experiences living on an isolated island and forming friendships primarily with people they interacted with at the local grocery store. They explore the dynamics of these relationships, questioning whether they were genuine friendships or merely a result of convenience and circumstance.They discuss the importance of seeking out true friendships based on mutual connection and genuine interest rather than settling for relationships that feel obligatory or one-sided. They emphasize the significance of being objective and neutral in assessing friendships, avoiding the pitfalls of emotional attachment and desire for validation.Overall, the episode encourages listeners to examine the nature of their friendships and pursue authentic connections that bring joy and fulfillment.
#FriendshipMovement, #IslandLiving, #PlatonicFriendships, #TrueFriendship, #NegativeThinking, #FriendshipEtymology, #ClassIssues, #SpiritualityOfFriendship, #ManifestingFriendship, #CaptiveFriendships, #ObjectiveFriendship, #FindingTrueFriends, #FriendshipJourney, #MomentumInFriendship, #WorkFriends, #SchoolFriends, #FriendshipTips, #EtymologyExploration, #ConsciousFriendship, #DesireForTrueFriends

Title: The Hostage Friend


Introduction
A. Fawn and Matt discuss their experience living on an island in Washington state
B. Feeling isolated and the origins of their friendship movement




Movie Night Plot Holes
A. Fawn and Matt's discussion about watching "The Grand Tour" and finding plot holes
B. Suspend disbelief and the challenges of ignoring plot inconsistencies




Island Life and Limited Interactions
A. Living on the island and limited social interactions
B. Main interactions with the town and country market and the Blackbird Coffee Shop
C. Development of friendships with people working at the grocery store




The Concept of Hostage Friends
A. Fawn's realization that their main friends were from the grocery store
B. Exploring the idea of "hostage friends" and the obligation to be friendly
C. Fawn's experiences of racial tension during Obama's election




Etymology of "Hostage" and "Host"
A. Exploring the etymology of the word "hostage" and its connection to "host"
B. Discussion on the meaning of hospitality and ties of friendship




Friendships and Class Issues
A. Matt's perspective on potential class issues in their friendships
B. Fawn's reflection on belonging to a certain class




True Friendship and Conscious Intentions
A. Emphasizing the importance of seeking true friendship
B. Putting intentions out into the universe and engaging in activities to meet like-minded individuals




Conclusion
A. Fawn's personal experiences and the impact on her perspective
B. Encouraging listeners to take an unbiased and objective approach to evaluating friendships
C. Expressing love and gratitude to the listeners

]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Hostage Friend?]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">This week's episode of "Our Friendly World" delves into the concept of "hostage friends" - those relationships that may feel forced or obligatory due to shared circumstances, such as working together or attending the same school. Fawn and Matt reflect on their experiences living on an isolated island and forming friendships primarily with people they interacted with at the local grocery store. They explore the dynamics of these relationships, questioning whether they were genuine friendships or merely a result of convenience and circumstance.<br />They discuss the importance of seeking out true friendships based on mutual connection and genuine interest rather than settling for relationships that feel obligatory or one-sided. They emphasize the significance of being objective and neutral in assessing friendships, avoiding the pitfalls of emotional attachment and desire for validation.<br />Overall, the episode encourages listeners to examine the nature of their friendships and pursue authentic connections that bring joy and fulfillment.<br /><br /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#FriendshipMovement, </span>#IslandLiving, #PlatonicFriendships, #TrueFriendship, #NegativeThinking, #FriendshipEtymology, #ClassIssues, #SpiritualityOfFriendship, #ManifestingFriendship, #CaptiveFriendships, #ObjectiveFriendship, #FindingTrueFriends, #FriendshipJourney, #MomentumInFriendship, #WorkFriends, #SchoolFriends, #FriendshipTips, #EtymologyExploration, #ConsciousFriendship, #DesireForTrueFriends</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Title: The Hostage Friend</span></p>
<ol type="I">
<li>
<p>Introduction</p>
<p>A. Fawn and Matt discuss their experience living on an island in Washington state</p>
<p>B. Feeling isolated and the origins of their friendship movement</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="2" type="I">
<li>
<p>Movie Night Plot Holes</p>
<p>A. Fawn and Matt's discussion about watching "The Grand Tour" and finding plot holes</p>
<p>B. Suspend disbelief and the challenges of ignoring plot inconsistencies</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="3" type="I">
<li>
<p>Island Life and Limited Interactions</p>
<p>A. Living on the island and limited social interactions</p>
<p>B. Main interactions with the town and country market and the Blackbird Coffee Shop</p>
<p>C. Development of friendships with people working at the grocery store</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="4" type="I">
<li>
<p>The Concept of Hostage Friends</p>
<p>A. Fawn's realization that their main friends were from the grocery store</p>
<p>B. Exploring the idea of "hostage friends" and the obligation to be friendly</p>
<p>C. Fawn's experiences of racial tension during Obama's election</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="5" type="I">
<li>
<p>Etymology of "Hostage" and "Host"</p>
<p>A. Exploring the etymology of the word "hostage" and its connection to "host"</p>
<p>B. Discussion on the meaning of hospitality and ties of friendship</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="6" type="I">
<li>
<p>Friendships and Class Issues</p>
<p>A. Matt's perspective on potential class issues in their friendships</p>
<p>B. Fawn's reflection on belonging to a certain class</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="7" type="I">
<li>
<p>True Friendship and Conscious Intentions</p>
<p>A. Emphasizing the importance of seeking true friendship</p>
<p>B. Putting intentions out into the universe and engaging in activities to meet like-minded individuals</p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol start="8" type="I">
<li>
<p>Conclusion</p>
<p>A. Fawn's personal experiences and the impact on her perspective</p>
<p>B. Encouraging listeners to take an unbiased and objective approach to evaluating friendships</p>
<p>C. Expressing love and gratitude to the listeners</p>
</li>
</ol>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1679267/c1e-k6v3bjzwqwi94140-8m71j3onspn-xnjw2i.mp3" length="16419612"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode of "Our Friendly World" delves into the concept of "hostage friends" - those relationships that may feel forced or obligatory due to shared circumstances, such as working together or attending the same school. Fawn and Matt reflect on their experiences living on an isolated island and forming friendships primarily with people they interacted with at the local grocery store. They explore the dynamics of these relationships, questioning whether they were genuine friendships or merely a result of convenience and circumstance.They discuss the importance of seeking out true friendships based on mutual connection and genuine interest rather than settling for relationships that feel obligatory or one-sided. They emphasize the significance of being objective and neutral in assessing friendships, avoiding the pitfalls of emotional attachment and desire for validation.Overall, the episode encourages listeners to examine the nature of their friendships and pursue authentic connections that bring joy and fulfillment.
#FriendshipMovement, #IslandLiving, #PlatonicFriendships, #TrueFriendship, #NegativeThinking, #FriendshipEtymology, #ClassIssues, #SpiritualityOfFriendship, #ManifestingFriendship, #CaptiveFriendships, #ObjectiveFriendship, #FindingTrueFriends, #FriendshipJourney, #MomentumInFriendship, #WorkFriends, #SchoolFriends, #FriendshipTips, #EtymologyExploration, #ConsciousFriendship, #DesireForTrueFriends

Title: The Hostage Friend


Introduction
A. Fawn and Matt discuss their experience living on an island in Washington state
B. Feeling isolated and the origins of their friendship movement




Movie Night Plot Holes
A. Fawn and Matt's discussion about watching "The Grand Tour" and finding plot holes
B. Suspend disbelief and the challenges of ignoring plot inconsistencies




Island Life and Limited Interactions
A. Living on the island and limited social interactions
B. Main interactions with the town and country market and the Blackbird Coffee Shop
C. Development of friendships with people working at the grocery store




The Concept of Hostage Friends
A. Fawn's realization that their main friends were from the grocery store
B. Exploring the idea of "hostage friends" and the obligation to be friendly
C. Fawn's experiences of racial tension during Obama's election




Etymology of "Hostage" and "Host"
A. Exploring the etymology of the word "hostage" and its connection to "host"
B. Discussion on the meaning of hospitality and ties of friendship




Friendships and Class Issues
A. Matt's perspective on potential class issues in their friendships
B. Fawn's reflection on belonging to a certain class




True Friendship and Conscious Intentions
A. Emphasizing the importance of seeking true friendship
B. Putting intentions out into the universe and engaging in activities to meet like-minded individuals




Conclusion
A. Fawn's personal experiences and the impact on her perspective
B. Encouraging listeners to take an unbiased and objective approach to evaluating friendships
C. Expressing love and gratitude to the listeners

]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1679267/c1a-8j1v-5rvnjwdjunqr-ukeh3f.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:17:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Processing Emotions Daily: A Guide to Compartmentalization and Friendship"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Mar 2024 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1667020</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/processing-emotions-daily-a-guide-to-compartmentalization-and-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">This <span style="color:#0d0d0d;">episode explores the concept of compartmentalization and its effects on daily life, relationships, and emotional well-being. Fawn and Matt discuss the importance of daily cleaning, both literal and metaphorical, to prevent emotional clutter from accumulating and impacting mental health. They share personal experiences, including traumatic events and coping mechanisms, to illustrate the significance of addressing emotions as they arise rather than storing them away. The conversation emphasizes the value of vulnerability, communication, and self-care in maintaining healthy relationships and fostering personal growth. Overall, the episode offers insights into navigating life's challenges while striving for emotional balance and connection.</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#Compartmentalization, #Emotional Well-Being, #DailyCleaning, #RelationshipMaintenance, #CopingMechanisms, #Vulnerability, #Self-Care, #EmotionalSpringCleaning, </span></span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#NavigatingFriendships, #TraumaAndRelationships, #VulnerabilityInFriendships, #Self-CareForEmotionalWell-Being, #DailyCleaningForMental Health, #CompartmentalizationAndRelationships, #HealthyRelationshipMaintenance, #PersonalGrowthThroughEmotionalBalance</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> I. Introduction</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Opening conversation about cleaning and its significance in various contexts</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Reference to martial arts school tradition and religious practices</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> II. Personal Experiences with Cleaning</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Fawn's daily cleaning routine and its connection to managing clutter</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Discussion on the importance of addressing emotions as they arise</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Matt's perspective on compartmentalization and the need for in-the-moment coping</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> III. Compartmentalization and Cleaning Metaphor</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Definition and explanation of compartmentalization</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Comparison of emotional storage to physical clutter in the home</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Analogy of emotions as "toddlers" seeking attention</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> IV. Impact of Compartmentalization on Relationships</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Personal stories of dealing with trauma and the subsequent emotional challenges</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Discussion on the concept of capacity in friendships and relationships</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Reflection on the role of compartmentalization in facing life-threatening health crises</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> V. Importance of Daily Emotional Cleaning</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Fawn's realization prompted by Farnoosh's perspective on daily cleaning</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Metaphor of emotional cleaning as a way to create space for positive experiences</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Mention of yoga philosophy and the idea of hoarding emotions</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> VI. Practical Tips for Emotional Maintenance</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Fawn's suggestion of the 90-second rule for processing emotions</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Matt's emphasis on finding personal time for reflection and emotional release</span></p>...]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode explores the concept of compartmentalization and its effects on daily life, relationships, and emotional well-being. Fawn and Matt discuss the importance of daily cleaning, both literal and metaphorical, to prevent emotional clutter from accumulating and impacting mental health. They share personal experiences, including traumatic events and coping mechanisms, to illustrate the significance of addressing emotions as they arise rather than storing them away. The conversation emphasizes the value of vulnerability, communication, and self-care in maintaining healthy relationships and fostering personal growth. Overall, the episode offers insights into navigating life's challenges while striving for emotional balance and connection. 
#Compartmentalization, #Emotional Well-Being, #DailyCleaning, #RelationshipMaintenance, #CopingMechanisms, #Vulnerability, #Self-Care, #EmotionalSpringCleaning, #NavigatingFriendships, #TraumaAndRelationships, #VulnerabilityInFriendships, #Self-CareForEmotionalWell-Being, #DailyCleaningForMental Health, #CompartmentalizationAndRelationships, #HealthyRelationshipMaintenance, #PersonalGrowthThroughEmotionalBalance
 I. Introduction
     A. Opening conversation about cleaning and its significance in various contexts
     B. Reference to martial arts school tradition and religious practices
 II. Personal Experiences with Cleaning
     A. Fawn's daily cleaning routine and its connection to managing clutter
     B. Discussion on the importance of addressing emotions as they arise
     C. Matt's perspective on compartmentalization and the need for in-the-moment coping
 III. Compartmentalization and Cleaning Metaphor
     A. Definition and explanation of compartmentalization
     B. Comparison of emotional storage to physical clutter in the home
     C. Analogy of emotions as "toddlers" seeking attention
 IV. Impact of Compartmentalization on Relationships
     A. Personal stories of dealing with trauma and the subsequent emotional challenges
     B. Discussion on the concept of capacity in friendships and relationships
     C. Reflection on the role of compartmentalization in facing life-threatening health crises
 V. Importance of Daily Emotional Cleaning
     A. Fawn's realization prompted by Farnoosh's perspective on daily cleaning
     B. Metaphor of emotional cleaning as a way to create space for positive experiences
     C. Mention of yoga philosophy and the idea of hoarding emotions
 VI. Practical Tips for Emotional Maintenance
     A. Fawn's suggestion of the 90-second rule for processing emotions
     B. Matt's emphasis on finding personal time for reflection and emotional release...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Processing Emotions Daily: A Guide to Compartmentalization and Friendship"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">This <span style="color:#0d0d0d;">episode explores the concept of compartmentalization and its effects on daily life, relationships, and emotional well-being. Fawn and Matt discuss the importance of daily cleaning, both literal and metaphorical, to prevent emotional clutter from accumulating and impacting mental health. They share personal experiences, including traumatic events and coping mechanisms, to illustrate the significance of addressing emotions as they arise rather than storing them away. The conversation emphasizes the value of vulnerability, communication, and self-care in maintaining healthy relationships and fostering personal growth. Overall, the episode offers insights into navigating life's challenges while striving for emotional balance and connection.</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#Compartmentalization, #Emotional Well-Being, #DailyCleaning, #RelationshipMaintenance, #CopingMechanisms, #Vulnerability, #Self-Care, #EmotionalSpringCleaning, </span></span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#NavigatingFriendships, #TraumaAndRelationships, #VulnerabilityInFriendships, #Self-CareForEmotionalWell-Being, #DailyCleaningForMental Health, #CompartmentalizationAndRelationships, #HealthyRelationshipMaintenance, #PersonalGrowthThroughEmotionalBalance</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> I. Introduction</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Opening conversation about cleaning and its significance in various contexts</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Reference to martial arts school tradition and religious practices</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> II. Personal Experiences with Cleaning</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Fawn's daily cleaning routine and its connection to managing clutter</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Discussion on the importance of addressing emotions as they arise</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Matt's perspective on compartmentalization and the need for in-the-moment coping</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> III. Compartmentalization and Cleaning Metaphor</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Definition and explanation of compartmentalization</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Comparison of emotional storage to physical clutter in the home</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Analogy of emotions as "toddlers" seeking attention</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> IV. Impact of Compartmentalization on Relationships</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Personal stories of dealing with trauma and the subsequent emotional challenges</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Discussion on the concept of capacity in friendships and relationships</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Reflection on the role of compartmentalization in facing life-threatening health crises</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> V. Importance of Daily Emotional Cleaning</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Fawn's realization prompted by Farnoosh's perspective on daily cleaning</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Metaphor of emotional cleaning as a way to create space for positive experiences</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Mention of yoga philosophy and the idea of hoarding emotions</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> VI. Practical Tips for Emotional Maintenance</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Fawn's suggestion of the 90-second rule for processing emotions</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Matt's emphasis on finding personal time for reflection and emotional release</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. The importance of communication and vulnerability in maintaining healthy relationships</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"> VII. Closing Thoughts</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     A. Acknowledgment of the ongoing challenge of emotional maintenance</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     B. Reminder of the benefits of regular emotional cleaning for personal growth and well-being</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     C. Encouragement to embrace vulnerability, communicate openly, and prioritize self-care</span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1667020/c1e-5jn4amrpgkb0xm56-jkw78rgvaqo7-miswk8.mp3" length="28106193"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This episode explores the concept of compartmentalization and its effects on daily life, relationships, and emotional well-being. Fawn and Matt discuss the importance of daily cleaning, both literal and metaphorical, to prevent emotional clutter from accumulating and impacting mental health. They share personal experiences, including traumatic events and coping mechanisms, to illustrate the significance of addressing emotions as they arise rather than storing them away. The conversation emphasizes the value of vulnerability, communication, and self-care in maintaining healthy relationships and fostering personal growth. Overall, the episode offers insights into navigating life's challenges while striving for emotional balance and connection. 
#Compartmentalization, #Emotional Well-Being, #DailyCleaning, #RelationshipMaintenance, #CopingMechanisms, #Vulnerability, #Self-Care, #EmotionalSpringCleaning, #NavigatingFriendships, #TraumaAndRelationships, #VulnerabilityInFriendships, #Self-CareForEmotionalWell-Being, #DailyCleaningForMental Health, #CompartmentalizationAndRelationships, #HealthyRelationshipMaintenance, #PersonalGrowthThroughEmotionalBalance
 I. Introduction
     A. Opening conversation about cleaning and its significance in various contexts
     B. Reference to martial arts school tradition and religious practices
 II. Personal Experiences with Cleaning
     A. Fawn's daily cleaning routine and its connection to managing clutter
     B. Discussion on the importance of addressing emotions as they arise
     C. Matt's perspective on compartmentalization and the need for in-the-moment coping
 III. Compartmentalization and Cleaning Metaphor
     A. Definition and explanation of compartmentalization
     B. Comparison of emotional storage to physical clutter in the home
     C. Analogy of emotions as "toddlers" seeking attention
 IV. Impact of Compartmentalization on Relationships
     A. Personal stories of dealing with trauma and the subsequent emotional challenges
     B. Discussion on the concept of capacity in friendships and relationships
     C. Reflection on the role of compartmentalization in facing life-threatening health crises
 V. Importance of Daily Emotional Cleaning
     A. Fawn's realization prompted by Farnoosh's perspective on daily cleaning
     B. Metaphor of emotional cleaning as a way to create space for positive experiences
     C. Mention of yoga philosophy and the idea of hoarding emotions
 VI. Practical Tips for Emotional Maintenance
     A. Fawn's suggestion of the 90-second rule for processing emotions
     B. Matt's emphasis on finding personal time for reflection and emotional release...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1667020/c1a-8j1v-2o1x92pqb4n-kxqg53.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:16</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[An O.C.E.A.N of Friends - Understanding Personality Dynamics: OCEAN Test Exploration]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 04 Mar 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1662192</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/an-ocean-of-friends-understanding-personality-dynamics-ocean-test-exploration</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt discuss their experience taking the Big Five Personality Test, also known as the OCEAN test, which assesses openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Fawn expresses her disdain for tests, while Matt explains the significance of understanding these personality dimensions in the context of friendships and relationships. They analyze their own test results and discuss how these traits manifest in their interactions with each other and with friends. The conversation delves into the complexities of personality dynamics and the importance of empathy and understanding in fostering meaningful connections. Overall, they emphasize the value of recognizing and respecting differences in personality while navigating friendships.</span></span> </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt discuss their experience taking the Big Five Personality Test, also known as the OCEAN test, which assesses openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Fawn expresses her disdain for tests, while Matt explains the significance of understanding these personality dimensions in the context of friendships and relationships. They analyze their own test results and discuss how these traits manifest in their interactions with each other and with friends. The conversation delves into the complexities of personality dynamics and the importance of empathy and understanding in fostering meaningful connections. Overall, they emphasize the value of recognizing and respecting differences in personality while navigating friendships. 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[An O.C.E.A.N of Friends - Understanding Personality Dynamics: OCEAN Test Exploration]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#0d0d0d;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt discuss their experience taking the Big Five Personality Test, also known as the OCEAN test, which assesses openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Fawn expresses her disdain for tests, while Matt explains the significance of understanding these personality dimensions in the context of friendships and relationships. They analyze their own test results and discuss how these traits manifest in their interactions with each other and with friends. The conversation delves into the complexities of personality dynamics and the importance of empathy and understanding in fostering meaningful connections. Overall, they emphasize the value of recognizing and respecting differences in personality while navigating friendships.</span></span> </span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt discuss their experience taking the Big Five Personality Test, also known as the OCEAN test, which assesses openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Fawn expresses her disdain for tests, while Matt explains the significance of understanding these personality dimensions in the context of friendships and relationships. They analyze their own test results and discuss how these traits manifest in their interactions with each other and with friends. The conversation delves into the complexities of personality dynamics and the importance of empathy and understanding in fostering meaningful connections. Overall, they emphasize the value of recognizing and respecting differences in personality while navigating friendships. 
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1662192/c1a-8j1v-o8rnrk53fwk2-vzupzt.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:11</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Orange Peel Test]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Feb 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1656165</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-orange-peel-test</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;"><strong>In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the concept of the "Orange Peel Theory" as a way to gauge the strength of relationships. They delve into the importance of small gestures, genuine empathy, and maintaining balance in friendships. Through anecdotes and reflections, they explore the dynamics of emotional intelligence and the value of authenticity in interactions. Ultimately, they emphasize the significance of understanding and nurturing relationships with care and sincerity.</strong></span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#OrangePeelTheory, #</span>FriendshipStrength, #RelationshipGauge, #EmotionalIntelligenceTest, #MicroGestures, #FavorsInRelationships, #AuthenticityInFriendships, #TheOrangePeelTest, #TheArtOfFriendship, #FriendshipPodcast</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the concept of the "Orange Peel Theory" as a way to gauge the strength of relationships. They delve into the importance of small gestures, genuine empathy, and maintaining balance in friendships. Through anecdotes and reflections, they explore the dynamics of emotional intelligence and the value of authenticity in interactions. Ultimately, they emphasize the significance of understanding and nurturing relationships with care and sincerity. 
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
#OrangePeelTheory, #FriendshipStrength, #RelationshipGauge, #EmotionalIntelligenceTest, #MicroGestures, #FavorsInRelationships, #AuthenticityInFriendships, #TheOrangePeelTest, #TheArtOfFriendship, #FriendshipPodcast

]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Orange Peel Test]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;"><strong>In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the concept of the "Orange Peel Theory" as a way to gauge the strength of relationships. They delve into the importance of small gestures, genuine empathy, and maintaining balance in friendships. Through anecdotes and reflections, they explore the dynamics of emotional intelligence and the value of authenticity in interactions. Ultimately, they emphasize the significance of understanding and nurturing relationships with care and sincerity.</strong></span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#1d1d1f;"><span style="font-family:'SF Pro Text', 'SF Pro Icons', 'Apple WebExp Icons Custom', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#OrangePeelTheory, #</span>FriendshipStrength, #RelationshipGauge, #EmotionalIntelligenceTest, #MicroGestures, #FavorsInRelationships, #AuthenticityInFriendships, #TheOrangePeelTest, #TheArtOfFriendship, #FriendshipPodcast</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn and Matt discuss the concept of the "Orange Peel Theory" as a way to gauge the strength of relationships. They delve into the importance of small gestures, genuine empathy, and maintaining balance in friendships. Through anecdotes and reflections, they explore the dynamics of emotional intelligence and the value of authenticity in interactions. Ultimately, they emphasize the significance of understanding and nurturing relationships with care and sincerity. 
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
#OrangePeelTheory, #FriendshipStrength, #RelationshipGauge, #EmotionalIntelligenceTest, #MicroGestures, #FavorsInRelationships, #AuthenticityInFriendships, #TheOrangePeelTest, #TheArtOfFriendship, #FriendshipPodcast

]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1656165/c1a-8j1v-xmpx3x95cq1g-m6vbbz.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:07</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["The 'Popular Friend' - Navigating Authenticity: The Pitfalls of the Popularity Game"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Feb 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1653859</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-popular-friend-navigating-authenticity-the-pitfalls-of-the-popularity-game</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#374151;">In this week's episode, Fawn delves into the complexities of popularity and authenticity. She reflects on the societal pressure to conform to popular standards, observing how some individuals prioritize appearing popular over genuine connection and well-being. Drawing from personal experiences and societal observations, Fawn highlights the dangers of sacrificing authenticity for popularity, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself and respecting others' boundaries. Fawn and Matt, navigate through discussions on societal norms, labeling, and the power of words, advocating for presence, respect, and authenticity in all interactions. As they explore the nuances of friendship and societal expectations, Fawn's impassioned reflections offer insights into fostering meaningful connections and embracing individuality in a world often consumed by the pursuit of popularity.</span> </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#AuthenticLiving, #FriendshipMatters, #RealTalk, #SocietyReflections, #PopularVsAuthentic, #ConsciousCommunication, #ParentingChallenges</strong></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn delves into the complexities of popularity and authenticity. She reflects on the societal pressure to conform to popular standards, observing how some individuals prioritize appearing popular over genuine connection and well-being. Drawing from personal experiences and societal observations, Fawn highlights the dangers of sacrificing authenticity for popularity, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself and respecting others' boundaries. Fawn and Matt, navigate through discussions on societal norms, labeling, and the power of words, advocating for presence, respect, and authenticity in all interactions. As they explore the nuances of friendship and societal expectations, Fawn's impassioned reflections offer insights into fostering meaningful connections and embracing individuality in a world often consumed by the pursuit of popularity. 
#AuthenticLiving, #FriendshipMatters, #RealTalk, #SocietyReflections, #PopularVsAuthentic, #ConsciousCommunication, #ParentingChallenges
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["The 'Popular Friend' - Navigating Authenticity: The Pitfalls of the Popularity Game"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#374151;">In this week's episode, Fawn delves into the complexities of popularity and authenticity. She reflects on the societal pressure to conform to popular standards, observing how some individuals prioritize appearing popular over genuine connection and well-being. Drawing from personal experiences and societal observations, Fawn highlights the dangers of sacrificing authenticity for popularity, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself and respecting others' boundaries. Fawn and Matt, navigate through discussions on societal norms, labeling, and the power of words, advocating for presence, respect, and authenticity in all interactions. As they explore the nuances of friendship and societal expectations, Fawn's impassioned reflections offer insights into fostering meaningful connections and embracing individuality in a world often consumed by the pursuit of popularity.</span> </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#AuthenticLiving, #FriendshipMatters, #RealTalk, #SocietyReflections, #PopularVsAuthentic, #ConsciousCommunication, #ParentingChallenges</strong></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1653859/c1e-vom3b8wz71fwz1zp-mq3k90x5t5qr-rlmlzu.mp3" length="29521379"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's episode, Fawn delves into the complexities of popularity and authenticity. She reflects on the societal pressure to conform to popular standards, observing how some individuals prioritize appearing popular over genuine connection and well-being. Drawing from personal experiences and societal observations, Fawn highlights the dangers of sacrificing authenticity for popularity, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself and respecting others' boundaries. Fawn and Matt, navigate through discussions on societal norms, labeling, and the power of words, advocating for presence, respect, and authenticity in all interactions. As they explore the nuances of friendship and societal expectations, Fawn's impassioned reflections offer insights into fostering meaningful connections and embracing individuality in a world often consumed by the pursuit of popularity. 
#AuthenticLiving, #FriendshipMatters, #RealTalk, #SocietyReflections, #PopularVsAuthentic, #ConsciousCommunication, #ParentingChallenges
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1653859/c1a-8j1v-8m7d84wxso8g-fwhvxl.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:45</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Joy]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Feb 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1653654</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-joy</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">This week's episode delves into the importance of joy in life, especially during challenging times, exploring the significance of creating art or engaging in creative activities every day to maintain balance and counteracting negative thoughts. The episode emphasizes the transformative power of joy, even in the face of hardship, and encourages listeners to embrace and prioritize joy in their lives. Fawn and Matt, share personal experiences and discuss a seven-day program called "Big Joy" based on a citizen science project at UC Berkeley, designed to increase emotional well-being and cultivating joy. </span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">The big reminder: JOY, especially in times of hardship, when times are hard, guy, when there's so much sorrow, when things are scary, you need joy. Joy is our life force.<br /><br />Do not feel guilty about experiencing joy. You need to. It is a necessity. It is a life force. </span></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">#TheArtOfFriendship, #OurFriendlyWorld, #TheArtOfJoy, </span>#JoyChallenge, #BigJoy, #GreaterGoodScience, #UCBerkeleyJoyProject, #DailyJoyCreation, #EmbracingJoy, #WellBeingJourney, #ShiftYourPerspective, #GratitudePractice</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode delves into the importance of joy in life, especially during challenging times, exploring the significance of creating art or engaging in creative activities every day to maintain balance and counteracting negative thoughts. The episode emphasizes the transformative power of joy, even in the face of hardship, and encourages listeners to embrace and prioritize joy in their lives. Fawn and Matt, share personal experiences and discuss a seven-day program called "Big Joy" based on a citizen science project at UC Berkeley, designed to increase emotional well-being and cultivating joy. 
The big reminder: JOY, especially in times of hardship, when times are hard, guy, when there's so much sorrow, when things are scary, you need joy. Joy is our life force.Do not feel guilty about experiencing joy. You need to. It is a necessity. It is a life force. 

#TheArtOfFriendship, #OurFriendlyWorld, #TheArtOfJoy, #JoyChallenge, #BigJoy, #GreaterGoodScience, #UCBerkeleyJoyProject, #DailyJoyCreation, #EmbracingJoy, #WellBeingJourney, #ShiftYourPerspective, #GratitudePractice
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Joy]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">This week's episode delves into the importance of joy in life, especially during challenging times, exploring the significance of creating art or engaging in creative activities every day to maintain balance and counteracting negative thoughts. The episode emphasizes the transformative power of joy, even in the face of hardship, and encourages listeners to embrace and prioritize joy in their lives. Fawn and Matt, share personal experiences and discuss a seven-day program called "Big Joy" based on a citizen science project at UC Berkeley, designed to increase emotional well-being and cultivating joy. </span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">The big reminder: JOY, especially in times of hardship, when times are hard, guy, when there's so much sorrow, when things are scary, you need joy. Joy is our life force.<br /><br />Do not feel guilty about experiencing joy. You need to. It is a necessity. It is a life force. </span></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">#TheArtOfFriendship, #OurFriendlyWorld, #TheArtOfJoy, </span>#JoyChallenge, #BigJoy, #GreaterGoodScience, #UCBerkeleyJoyProject, #DailyJoyCreation, #EmbracingJoy, #WellBeingJourney, #ShiftYourPerspective, #GratitudePractice</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1653654/c1e-1j3zawr1x5ixv9vo-3324n5q0b5x-wqmba7.mp3" length="35573846"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week's episode delves into the importance of joy in life, especially during challenging times, exploring the significance of creating art or engaging in creative activities every day to maintain balance and counteracting negative thoughts. The episode emphasizes the transformative power of joy, even in the face of hardship, and encourages listeners to embrace and prioritize joy in their lives. Fawn and Matt, share personal experiences and discuss a seven-day program called "Big Joy" based on a citizen science project at UC Berkeley, designed to increase emotional well-being and cultivating joy. 
The big reminder: JOY, especially in times of hardship, when times are hard, guy, when there's so much sorrow, when things are scary, you need joy. Joy is our life force.Do not feel guilty about experiencing joy. You need to. It is a necessity. It is a life force. 

#TheArtOfFriendship, #OurFriendlyWorld, #TheArtOfJoy, #JoyChallenge, #BigJoy, #GreaterGoodScience, #UCBerkeleyJoyProject, #DailyJoyCreation, #EmbracingJoy, #WellBeingJourney, #ShiftYourPerspective, #GratitudePractice
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1653654/c1a-8j1v-nj9dor5xtzxk-6skunz.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:37:03</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[OKAY]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Feb 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1641435</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/okay-1</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#374151;"> <span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">This week on Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the theme of overcoming the judgments and opinions of others, with a focus on the importance of letting go and not trying to prove oneself to everyone. Fawn reflects on a play she created with a single word, "okay," as a response to critics. The episode emphasizes the message of finding peace in being true to oneself and not seeking validation from others.</span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><br /><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">This week's podcast episode delves into Fawn's experiences studying in England with American professors, particularly in a literature and creative writing course. Faced with challenges and criticism from professors and an art editor, Fawn shares the story of how she overcame judgments and negative perceptions. The episode explores the theme of not letting others' opinions define you, featuring a play Fawn wrote with just one word: "Okay." The narrative highlights the importance of finding peace within oneself and not constantly seeking validation from others.</span></span> </span></p>
<p>#CreativeWriting, #Photography, #ArtCritics, #OvercomingChallenges, #SelfValidation, #Okay, #LifeLessons, #LetItGo, #PeerSupport, #OK, #Friendship, #LifeLessons</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ This week on Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the theme of overcoming the judgments and opinions of others, with a focus on the importance of letting go and not trying to prove oneself to everyone. Fawn reflects on a play she created with a single word, "okay," as a response to critics. The episode emphasizes the message of finding peace in being true to oneself and not seeking validation from others. 
This week's podcast episode delves into Fawn's experiences studying in England with American professors, particularly in a literature and creative writing course. Faced with challenges and criticism from professors and an art editor, Fawn shares the story of how she overcame judgments and negative perceptions. The episode explores the theme of not letting others' opinions define you, featuring a play Fawn wrote with just one word: "Okay." The narrative highlights the importance of finding peace within oneself and not constantly seeking validation from others. 
#CreativeWriting, #Photography, #ArtCritics, #OvercomingChallenges, #SelfValidation, #Okay, #LifeLessons, #LetItGo, #PeerSupport, #OK, #Friendship, #LifeLessons

Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[OKAY]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#374151;"> <span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">This week on Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the theme of overcoming the judgments and opinions of others, with a focus on the importance of letting go and not trying to prove oneself to everyone. Fawn reflects on a play she created with a single word, "okay," as a response to critics. The episode emphasizes the message of finding peace in being true to oneself and not seeking validation from others.</span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><br /><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">This week's podcast episode delves into Fawn's experiences studying in England with American professors, particularly in a literature and creative writing course. Faced with challenges and criticism from professors and an art editor, Fawn shares the story of how she overcame judgments and negative perceptions. The episode explores the theme of not letting others' opinions define you, featuring a play Fawn wrote with just one word: "Okay." The narrative highlights the importance of finding peace within oneself and not constantly seeking validation from others.</span></span> </span></p>
<p>#CreativeWriting, #Photography, #ArtCritics, #OvercomingChallenges, #SelfValidation, #Okay, #LifeLessons, #LetItGo, #PeerSupport, #OK, #Friendship, #LifeLessons</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1641435/c1e-p6omb9v660bmo9dg-dd71n23ofj6d-lngghr.mp3" length="18490838"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ This week on Our Friendly World, Fawn and Matt explore the theme of overcoming the judgments and opinions of others, with a focus on the importance of letting go and not trying to prove oneself to everyone. Fawn reflects on a play she created with a single word, "okay," as a response to critics. The episode emphasizes the message of finding peace in being true to oneself and not seeking validation from others. 
This week's podcast episode delves into Fawn's experiences studying in England with American professors, particularly in a literature and creative writing course. Faced with challenges and criticism from professors and an art editor, Fawn shares the story of how she overcame judgments and negative perceptions. The episode explores the theme of not letting others' opinions define you, featuring a play Fawn wrote with just one word: "Okay." The narrative highlights the importance of finding peace within oneself and not constantly seeking validation from others. 
#CreativeWriting, #Photography, #ArtCritics, #OvercomingChallenges, #SelfValidation, #Okay, #LifeLessons, #LetItGo, #PeerSupport, #OK, #Friendship, #LifeLessons

Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1641435/c1a-8j1v-dd71n23wcjvz-dwjeiz.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:19:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Unraveling the Art of Asking Questions: Engaging in Meaningful Conversations with Our Friend Barry Lane]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Jan 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1638816</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/unraveling-the-art-of-asking-questions-engaging-in-meaningful-conversations-with-our-friend-barry-lane</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">Fawn and Matt are joined by Barry Lane as they delve into the challenges of asking questions, sharing personal experiences and insights. They discuss the impact of questions on relationships, the nuances of questioning, and the power of open-ended inquiries. Barry Lane emphasizes the importance of finding questions that help people discover themselves and shares anecdotes about the effectiveness of such questions. The episode also touches on the media's role in framing questions and the potential for more meaningful conversations by focusing on problem-solving rather than conflict.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#storytelling, #ConversationalSkills, #AskingQuestions #CommunicationTechniques, #authenticity, #MindfulnessInCommunication, #DeepListening, #UnderstandingOthers</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">To reach Barry Lane:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://forcefieldforgood.com/">https://forcefieldforgood.com/</a></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt are joined by Barry Lane as they delve into the challenges of asking questions, sharing personal experiences and insights. They discuss the impact of questions on relationships, the nuances of questioning, and the power of open-ended inquiries. Barry Lane emphasizes the importance of finding questions that help people discover themselves and shares anecdotes about the effectiveness of such questions. The episode also touches on the media's role in framing questions and the potential for more meaningful conversations by focusing on problem-solving rather than conflict.
 
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
#storytelling, #ConversationalSkills, #AskingQuestions #CommunicationTechniques, #authenticity, #MindfulnessInCommunication, #DeepListening, #UnderstandingOthers
To reach Barry Lane:
https://forcefieldforgood.com/
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Unraveling the Art of Asking Questions: Engaging in Meaningful Conversations with Our Friend Barry Lane]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">Fawn and Matt are joined by Barry Lane as they delve into the challenges of asking questions, sharing personal experiences and insights. They discuss the impact of questions on relationships, the nuances of questioning, and the power of open-ended inquiries. Barry Lane emphasizes the importance of finding questions that help people discover themselves and shares anecdotes about the effectiveness of such questions. The episode also touches on the media's role in framing questions and the potential for more meaningful conversations by focusing on problem-solving rather than conflict.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#storytelling, #ConversationalSkills, #AskingQuestions #CommunicationTechniques, #authenticity, #MindfulnessInCommunication, #DeepListening, #UnderstandingOthers</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">To reach Barry Lane:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://forcefieldforgood.com/">https://forcefieldforgood.com/</a></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1638816/c1e-6jm7a1r31gando4g-dd7xvqpjt80g-k6grjx.mp3" length="58173014"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt are joined by Barry Lane as they delve into the challenges of asking questions, sharing personal experiences and insights. They discuss the impact of questions on relationships, the nuances of questioning, and the power of open-ended inquiries. Barry Lane emphasizes the importance of finding questions that help people discover themselves and shares anecdotes about the effectiveness of such questions. The episode also touches on the media's role in framing questions and the potential for more meaningful conversations by focusing on problem-solving rather than conflict.
 
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
#storytelling, #ConversationalSkills, #AskingQuestions #CommunicationTechniques, #authenticity, #MindfulnessInCommunication, #DeepListening, #UnderstandingOthers
To reach Barry Lane:
https://forcefieldforgood.com/
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1638816/c1a-8j1v-7n5xm7jmsz-jl4ry1.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:00:35</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Humanitarian Clown – Ali Cheff]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jan 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1638815</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-humanitarian-clown-ali-cheff</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">In this thought-provoking episode, Fawn and Matt engage in a deep conversation with their guest, Ali Cheff. They delve into the meaning of 'clown' - not just in the traditional sense of humor and entertainment, but also as a metaphor for letting go of ego, embracing vulnerability, and the power of really seeing and hearing others. They also discuss the concept of being 'Down to Clown', essentially being open to laugh at oneself, acknowledging one's strengths and weaknesses and to not take oneself too seriously. Through instances of personal experiences and introspection, they explore the importance of community, connection, and conversation.<br /><br />#clown, #HumanitarianClowning, #community, #friendship, #connection, #compassion, #conversation #DownToClown #TheArtOfFriendship</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this thought-provoking episode, Fawn and Matt engage in a deep conversation with their guest, Ali Cheff. They delve into the meaning of 'clown' - not just in the traditional sense of humor and entertainment, but also as a metaphor for letting go of ego, embracing vulnerability, and the power of really seeing and hearing others. They also discuss the concept of being 'Down to Clown', essentially being open to laugh at oneself, acknowledging one's strengths and weaknesses and to not take oneself too seriously. Through instances of personal experiences and introspection, they explore the importance of community, connection, and conversation.#clown, #HumanitarianClowning, #community, #friendship, #connection, #compassion, #conversation #DownToClown #TheArtOfFriendship
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Humanitarian Clown – Ali Cheff]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">In this thought-provoking episode, Fawn and Matt engage in a deep conversation with their guest, Ali Cheff. They delve into the meaning of 'clown' - not just in the traditional sense of humor and entertainment, but also as a metaphor for letting go of ego, embracing vulnerability, and the power of really seeing and hearing others. They also discuss the concept of being 'Down to Clown', essentially being open to laugh at oneself, acknowledging one's strengths and weaknesses and to not take oneself too seriously. Through instances of personal experiences and introspection, they explore the importance of community, connection, and conversation.<br /><br />#clown, #HumanitarianClowning, #community, #friendship, #connection, #compassion, #conversation #DownToClown #TheArtOfFriendship</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1638815/c1e-w329b958zna0gm4n-332m98xrfw1o-ggq13h.mp3" length="70432216"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this thought-provoking episode, Fawn and Matt engage in a deep conversation with their guest, Ali Cheff. They delve into the meaning of 'clown' - not just in the traditional sense of humor and entertainment, but also as a metaphor for letting go of ego, embracing vulnerability, and the power of really seeing and hearing others. They also discuss the concept of being 'Down to Clown', essentially being open to laugh at oneself, acknowledging one's strengths and weaknesses and to not take oneself too seriously. Through instances of personal experiences and introspection, they explore the importance of community, connection, and conversation.#clown, #HumanitarianClowning, #community, #friendship, #connection, #compassion, #conversation #DownToClown #TheArtOfFriendship
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1638815/c1a-8j1v-2o1m3z06t0qj-msfxty.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:13:22</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Transient Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Jan 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1633198</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-transient-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt explore the concept of transient friendships. They debate the impact of a digital footprint on personal growth and societal expectations. What are the potential benefits of getting lost in life and the value of constantly making new friends? Overall, the episode delves into the balance between the permanence and transience of friendships in today's society. The episode concludes with a reflection on the transient nature of life and the benefits of embracing new experiences and friendships.</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#TranscendExperience #MakeNewFriends #EmbraceTransience #LifeIsTransient #FriendshipJourney #GetLostAndFound #SmallWorldStories #AuthenticLiving #ForgetInternetJudgment #LiveInTheMoment</strong></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt explore the concept of transient friendships. They debate the impact of a digital footprint on personal growth and societal expectations. What are the potential benefits of getting lost in life and the value of constantly making new friends? Overall, the episode delves into the balance between the permanence and transience of friendships in today's society. The episode concludes with a reflection on the transient nature of life and the benefits of embracing new experiences and friendships. 
#TranscendExperience #MakeNewFriends #EmbraceTransience #LifeIsTransient #FriendshipJourney #GetLostAndFound #SmallWorldStories #AuthenticLiving #ForgetInternetJudgment #LiveInTheMoment

 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Transient Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt explore the concept of transient friendships. They debate the impact of a digital footprint on personal growth and societal expectations. What are the potential benefits of getting lost in life and the value of constantly making new friends? Overall, the episode delves into the balance between the permanence and transience of friendships in today's society. The episode concludes with a reflection on the transient nature of life and the benefits of embracing new experiences and friendships.</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#TranscendExperience #MakeNewFriends #EmbraceTransience #LifeIsTransient #FriendshipJourney #GetLostAndFound #SmallWorldStories #AuthenticLiving #ForgetInternetJudgment #LiveInTheMoment</strong></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1633198/c1e-0jo1a80oq0agm394-xmpo238vhq0r-q3ifen.mp3" length="17475542"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt explore the concept of transient friendships. They debate the impact of a digital footprint on personal growth and societal expectations. What are the potential benefits of getting lost in life and the value of constantly making new friends? Overall, the episode delves into the balance between the permanence and transience of friendships in today's society. The episode concludes with a reflection on the transient nature of life and the benefits of embracing new experiences and friendships. 
#TranscendExperience #MakeNewFriends #EmbraceTransience #LifeIsTransient #FriendshipJourney #GetLostAndFound #SmallWorldStories #AuthenticLiving #ForgetInternetJudgment #LiveInTheMoment

 
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1633198/c1a-8j1v-qxnm9544akp0-rscz99.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:18:12</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Miraculous Friend – Unveiling Miracles: The Transformative Power of Unexpected Friendships"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Jan 2024 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1628645</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-miraculous-friend-unveiling-miracles-the-transformative-power-of-unexpected-friendships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">Whether it's a lifelong friend or a stranger with a momentary message, miraculous friends can appear in our lives to offer support, love, or guidance when we least expect it. Openness to these moments and an awareness of the potential for miracles can enrich our lives and connections with others.</span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">#MiraculousFriend #FriendshipMagic #UnexpectedConnections #OpenToMiracles #EverydayMiracles #GratitudeJourney #RandomActsofKindness #UnveilingMiracles #FriendshipEncounters #LifeSurprises</span></span> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Whether it's a lifelong friend or a stranger with a momentary message, miraculous friends can appear in our lives to offer support, love, or guidance when we least expect it. Openness to these moments and an awareness of the potential for miracles can enrich our lives and connections with others. 
#MiraculousFriend #FriendshipMagic #UnexpectedConnections #OpenToMiracles #EverydayMiracles #GratitudeJourney #RandomActsofKindness #UnveilingMiracles #FriendshipEncounters #LifeSurprises ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[“The Miraculous Friend – Unveiling Miracles: The Transformative Power of Unexpected Friendships"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">Whether it's a lifelong friend or a stranger with a momentary message, miraculous friends can appear in our lives to offer support, love, or guidance when we least expect it. Openness to these moments and an awareness of the potential for miracles can enrich our lives and connections with others.</span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">#MiraculousFriend #FriendshipMagic #UnexpectedConnections #OpenToMiracles #EverydayMiracles #GratitudeJourney #RandomActsofKindness #UnveilingMiracles #FriendshipEncounters #LifeSurprises</span></span> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1628645/c1e-w329b92mqrc0gm4w-qxn4jm10ad7p-vnosa3.mp3" length="29121878"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Whether it's a lifelong friend or a stranger with a momentary message, miraculous friends can appear in our lives to offer support, love, or guidance when we least expect it. Openness to these moments and an awareness of the potential for miracles can enrich our lives and connections with others. 
#MiraculousFriend #FriendshipMagic #UnexpectedConnections #OpenToMiracles #EverydayMiracles #GratitudeJourney #RandomActsofKindness #UnveilingMiracles #FriendshipEncounters #LifeSurprises ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1628645/c1a-8j1v-xmp8zo7rfkro-wuiumr.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:20</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Other Weird Friend - Cultural Diversity's Impact on Society]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 31 Dec 2023 14:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1625091</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-other-weird-friend-cultural-diversitys-impact-on-society</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">Fawn and Matt explore the dichotomy between individualism and collectivism, discussing cultural influences, and how media shapes our thoughts. They touch on examples like rice farmers vs. wheat farmers, geographic mindsets, and the importance of understanding diverse perspectives in friendships. The conversation reflects on personal biases and the need for open-mindedness in navigating societal divisions.</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">#IndividualismVsCollectivism #CulturalInfluences #MediaBias #PerspectiveShift #OpenMindedness #SocietalDivisions #MindsetMatters #DiversePerspectives #PodcastDiscussion #SocialThoughts #BiasAwareness</span> </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt explore the dichotomy between individualism and collectivism, discussing cultural influences, and how media shapes our thoughts. They touch on examples like rice farmers vs. wheat farmers, geographic mindsets, and the importance of understanding diverse perspectives in friendships. The conversation reflects on personal biases and the need for open-mindedness in navigating societal divisions. 
#IndividualismVsCollectivism #CulturalInfluences #MediaBias #PerspectiveShift #OpenMindedness #SocietalDivisions #MindsetMatters #DiversePerspectives #PodcastDiscussion #SocialThoughts #BiasAwareness 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Other Weird Friend - Cultural Diversity's Impact on Society]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">Fawn and Matt explore the dichotomy between individualism and collectivism, discussing cultural influences, and how media shapes our thoughts. They touch on examples like rice farmers vs. wheat farmers, geographic mindsets, and the importance of understanding diverse perspectives in friendships. The conversation reflects on personal biases and the need for open-mindedness in navigating societal divisions.</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;">#IndividualismVsCollectivism #CulturalInfluences #MediaBias #PerspectiveShift #OpenMindedness #SocietalDivisions #MindsetMatters #DiversePerspectives #PodcastDiscussion #SocialThoughts #BiasAwareness</span> </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1625091/c1e-3jrvajvgn0tkq04v-p809g2pmb522-i5emld.mp3" length="31404374"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt explore the dichotomy between individualism and collectivism, discussing cultural influences, and how media shapes our thoughts. They touch on examples like rice farmers vs. wheat farmers, geographic mindsets, and the importance of understanding diverse perspectives in friendships. The conversation reflects on personal biases and the need for open-mindedness in navigating societal divisions. 
#IndividualismVsCollectivism #CulturalInfluences #MediaBias #PerspectiveShift #OpenMindedness #SocietalDivisions #MindsetMatters #DiversePerspectives #PodcastDiscussion #SocialThoughts #BiasAwareness 
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1625091/c1a-8j1v-qxnrw757akp0-woyabx.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:32:42</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Slow vs Fast Communication]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 25 Dec 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1621910</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/slow-vs-fast-communication</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Fast vs Slow - The art of friendship involves understanding and working with various rhythms. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">This week, Fawn and Matt are unraveling the intricate art of relationships, and the kaleidoscope-like complexity of humanity. </span>Their conversation touches on the intricacies of processing information, the dynamics of communication in friendships, the balance between individuality and collective success, and the ever-evolving nature of human relationships.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fast vs Slow - The art of friendship involves understanding and working with various rhythms. 
This week, Fawn and Matt are unraveling the intricate art of relationships, and the kaleidoscope-like complexity of humanity. Their conversation touches on the intricacies of processing information, the dynamics of communication in friendships, the balance between individuality and collective success, and the ever-evolving nature of human relationships.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Slow vs Fast Communication]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Fast vs Slow - The art of friendship involves understanding and working with various rhythms. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">This week, Fawn and Matt are unraveling the intricate art of relationships, and the kaleidoscope-like complexity of humanity. </span>Their conversation touches on the intricacies of processing information, the dynamics of communication in friendships, the balance between individuality and collective success, and the ever-evolving nature of human relationships.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1621910/c1e-0jo1a847ngcgm394-8mk7mxr5h805-alnhxh.mp3" length="16414166"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fast vs Slow - The art of friendship involves understanding and working with various rhythms. 
This week, Fawn and Matt are unraveling the intricate art of relationships, and the kaleidoscope-like complexity of humanity. Their conversation touches on the intricacies of processing information, the dynamics of communication in friendships, the balance between individuality and collective success, and the ever-evolving nature of human relationships.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1621910/c1a-8j1v-zoj7ov2ji285-pbnwyr.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:17:05</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Navigating Awkward Conversations - Unveiling the Pitfalls of Clichés and Finding True Dialogue]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Dec 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1616638</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/navigating-awkward-conversations-unveiling-the-pitfalls-of-cliches-and-finding-true-dialogue</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the pitfalls of relying on clichéd responses in conversations. Fawn shares a personal experience at a museum that left her feeling regretful. The hosts explore the notion of missed opportunities for meaningful dialogue when social norms and clichés take precedence over authentic communication. They discuss the importance of moving past initial awkward moments to maintain a genuine connection and understanding. The episode serves as a reflection on the art of friendship and the impact of sincere conversations.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#SafetyNetConversations, </span>#FriendshipHarm, #MeaningfulDialogues, #PureConnections, #Misunderstandings, #BreakALegMoments, #AuthenticConversations, #ArtOfFriendship, #GraciousNature, #ThankYouForYourService, #OpportunitiesForDialogue, #ClichedResponses, #InsecurityIssues, #SocialAwkwardness, #PureFriendship</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the pitfalls of relying on clichéd responses in conversations. Fawn shares a personal experience at a museum that left her feeling regretful. The hosts explore the notion of missed opportunities for meaningful dialogue when social norms and clichés take precedence over authentic communication. They discuss the importance of moving past initial awkward moments to maintain a genuine connection and understanding. The episode serves as a reflection on the art of friendship and the impact of sincere conversations. 
#SafetyNetConversations, #FriendshipHarm, #MeaningfulDialogues, #PureConnections, #Misunderstandings, #BreakALegMoments, #AuthenticConversations, #ArtOfFriendship, #GraciousNature, #ThankYouForYourService, #OpportunitiesForDialogue, #ClichedResponses, #InsecurityIssues, #SocialAwkwardness, #PureFriendship]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Navigating Awkward Conversations - Unveiling the Pitfalls of Clichés and Finding True Dialogue]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the pitfalls of relying on clichéd responses in conversations. Fawn shares a personal experience at a museum that left her feeling regretful. The hosts explore the notion of missed opportunities for meaningful dialogue when social norms and clichés take precedence over authentic communication. They discuss the importance of moving past initial awkward moments to maintain a genuine connection and understanding. The episode serves as a reflection on the art of friendship and the impact of sincere conversations.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">#SafetyNetConversations, </span>#FriendshipHarm, #MeaningfulDialogues, #PureConnections, #Misunderstandings, #BreakALegMoments, #AuthenticConversations, #ArtOfFriendship, #GraciousNature, #ThankYouForYourService, #OpportunitiesForDialogue, #ClichedResponses, #InsecurityIssues, #SocialAwkwardness, #PureFriendship</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1616638/Navigating-Awkward-Conversations-Unveiling-the-Pitfalls-of-Clich-s-and-Finding-True-Dialogue.mp3" length="17706326"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this week's podcast episode, Fawn and Matt delve into the pitfalls of relying on clichéd responses in conversations. Fawn shares a personal experience at a museum that left her feeling regretful. The hosts explore the notion of missed opportunities for meaningful dialogue when social norms and clichés take precedence over authentic communication. They discuss the importance of moving past initial awkward moments to maintain a genuine connection and understanding. The episode serves as a reflection on the art of friendship and the impact of sincere conversations. 
#SafetyNetConversations, #FriendshipHarm, #MeaningfulDialogues, #PureConnections, #Misunderstandings, #BreakALegMoments, #AuthenticConversations, #ArtOfFriendship, #GraciousNature, #ThankYouForYourService, #OpportunitiesForDialogue, #ClichedResponses, #InsecurityIssues, #SocialAwkwardness, #PureFriendship]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1616638/Safety-Net-Conversations-1.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:18:26</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Fright Bonds: Exploring the Fascination with Horror Movies and Human Connections"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Dec 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1613127</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/fright-bonds-exploring-the-fascination-with-horror-movies-and-human-connections</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this podcast episode, Fawn, Matt, and their kids discuss the allure of horror movies. Fawn expresses her lack of interest in horror due to the world's existing stress and prefers romantic comedies. The conversation delves into why people, especially the younger generation, find enjoyment in horror. They debate if horror serves as a distraction or a reflection of inner emotions, discussing the psychology behind the attraction to frightening films. The hosts explore how horror movies create shared experiences, fostering camaraderie and stimulating discussions about decision-making within these films. They draw parallels between classic literature and fairy tales, often cautionary in nature, and analyze the societal impact of these narratives. Ultimately, they contemplate whether horror movies, despite their unsettling nature, foster connections and discussions among viewers, similar to other shared experiences in life.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p><strong>#HorrorDiscussion, #SharedExperiences, #HorrorBonding, #CamaraderieThroughFear, #HorrorAndFriendship, #HorrorMovieLovers, #PsychologicalHorror, #FrightPerspective, #HorrorCommunity, #HorrorTherapy, #HorrorClassics, #HorrorFandom, #HorrorDebate, #HorrorGenre, #FearAndFun, #HorrorAndSociety, #HorrorExperience, #MovieTalk, </strong><strong>#AdrenalineRush</strong></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></span></a> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this podcast episode, Fawn, Matt, and their kids discuss the allure of horror movies. Fawn expresses her lack of interest in horror due to the world's existing stress and prefers romantic comedies. The conversation delves into why people, especially the younger generation, find enjoyment in horror. They debate if horror serves as a distraction or a reflection of inner emotions, discussing the psychology behind the attraction to frightening films. The hosts explore how horror movies create shared experiences, fostering camaraderie and stimulating discussions about decision-making within these films. They draw parallels between classic literature and fairy tales, often cautionary in nature, and analyze the societal impact of these narratives. Ultimately, they contemplate whether horror movies, despite their unsettling nature, foster connections and discussions among viewers, similar to other shared experiences in life.
#HorrorDiscussion, #SharedExperiences, #HorrorBonding, #CamaraderieThroughFear, #HorrorAndFriendship, #HorrorMovieLovers, #PsychologicalHorror, #FrightPerspective, #HorrorCommunity, #HorrorTherapy, #HorrorClassics, #HorrorFandom, #HorrorDebate, #HorrorGenre, #FearAndFun, #HorrorAndSociety, #HorrorExperience, #MovieTalk, #AdrenalineRush
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Fright Bonds: Exploring the Fascination with Horror Movies and Human Connections"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this podcast episode, Fawn, Matt, and their kids discuss the allure of horror movies. Fawn expresses her lack of interest in horror due to the world's existing stress and prefers romantic comedies. The conversation delves into why people, especially the younger generation, find enjoyment in horror. They debate if horror serves as a distraction or a reflection of inner emotions, discussing the psychology behind the attraction to frightening films. The hosts explore how horror movies create shared experiences, fostering camaraderie and stimulating discussions about decision-making within these films. They draw parallels between classic literature and fairy tales, often cautionary in nature, and analyze the societal impact of these narratives. Ultimately, they contemplate whether horror movies, despite their unsettling nature, foster connections and discussions among viewers, similar to other shared experiences in life.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p><strong>#HorrorDiscussion, #SharedExperiences, #HorrorBonding, #CamaraderieThroughFear, #HorrorAndFriendship, #HorrorMovieLovers, #PsychologicalHorror, #FrightPerspective, #HorrorCommunity, #HorrorTherapy, #HorrorClassics, #HorrorFandom, #HorrorDebate, #HorrorGenre, #FearAndFun, #HorrorAndSociety, #HorrorExperience, #MovieTalk, </strong><strong>#AdrenalineRush</strong></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></span></a> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1613127/Horror-Movies-Are-Good-for-Friendships-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="26703446"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this podcast episode, Fawn, Matt, and their kids discuss the allure of horror movies. Fawn expresses her lack of interest in horror due to the world's existing stress and prefers romantic comedies. The conversation delves into why people, especially the younger generation, find enjoyment in horror. They debate if horror serves as a distraction or a reflection of inner emotions, discussing the psychology behind the attraction to frightening films. The hosts explore how horror movies create shared experiences, fostering camaraderie and stimulating discussions about decision-making within these films. They draw parallels between classic literature and fairy tales, often cautionary in nature, and analyze the societal impact of these narratives. Ultimately, they contemplate whether horror movies, despite their unsettling nature, foster connections and discussions among viewers, similar to other shared experiences in life.
#HorrorDiscussion, #SharedExperiences, #HorrorBonding, #CamaraderieThroughFear, #HorrorAndFriendship, #HorrorMovieLovers, #PsychologicalHorror, #FrightPerspective, #HorrorCommunity, #HorrorTherapy, #HorrorClassics, #HorrorFandom, #HorrorDebate, #HorrorGenre, #FearAndFun, #HorrorAndSociety, #HorrorExperience, #MovieTalk, #AdrenalineRush
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1613127/The-Horrible-vs-the-Romantic-Friend.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:27:48</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Niceness vs Kindness]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 04 Dec 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1607280</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/niceness-vs-kindness</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This week, we explore the difference between being nice and being kind and why there seems to be a disparity. In relation, Fawn points out and explains her theory of what she calls “The Introductory Phase” within our relationships and how this is the reason for the divide and the lack of connection our society is experiencing.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></a> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week, we explore the difference between being nice and being kind and why there seems to be a disparity. In relation, Fawn points out and explains her theory of what she calls “The Introductory Phase” within our relationships and how this is the reason for the divide and the lack of connection our society is experiencing.
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Niceness vs Kindness]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This week, we explore the difference between being nice and being kind and why there seems to be a disparity. In relation, Fawn points out and explains her theory of what she calls “The Introductory Phase” within our relationships and how this is the reason for the divide and the lack of connection our society is experiencing.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></a> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1607280/Episode-171-Are-We-Nice-or-Are-We-Kind.mp3" length="37105622"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week, we explore the difference between being nice and being kind and why there seems to be a disparity. In relation, Fawn points out and explains her theory of what she calls “The Introductory Phase” within our relationships and how this is the reason for the divide and the lack of connection our society is experiencing.
Join us in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1607280/Be-Kind.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:38:39</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship and Emotional Support, Lessons Learned from Prejudice]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Nov 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1603120</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendship-and-emotional-support-lessons-learned-from-prejudice</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0f0f0f;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">This podcast episode delves into personal experiences with prejudice and discrimination, discussing the emotional impact and strategies for coping. Fawn recounts encountering prejudice in a new group, reflecting on the pain, shame, and feelings of being disregarded or unseen due to racism. The episode outlines steps to address such emotions, emphasizing acknowledging pain, accepting grief, seeking support, and nurturing oneself physically and emotionally. Fawn shares a transformative shift in perspective by communicating her desires to the universe, leading to a change in how she perceives the situation, ultimately aiming for a harmonious experience.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0f0f0f;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our <a href="http://websitehttps" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</a> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></span></span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This podcast episode delves into personal experiences with prejudice and discrimination, discussing the emotional impact and strategies for coping. Fawn recounts encountering prejudice in a new group, reflecting on the pain, shame, and feelings of being disregarded or unseen due to racism. The episode outlines steps to address such emotions, emphasizing acknowledging pain, accepting grief, seeking support, and nurturing oneself physically and emotionally. Fawn shares a transformative shift in perspective by communicating her desires to the universe, leading to a change in how she perceives the situation, ultimately aiming for a harmonious experience. 
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendship and Emotional Support, Lessons Learned from Prejudice]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0f0f0f;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">This podcast episode delves into personal experiences with prejudice and discrimination, discussing the emotional impact and strategies for coping. Fawn recounts encountering prejudice in a new group, reflecting on the pain, shame, and feelings of being disregarded or unseen due to racism. The episode outlines steps to address such emotions, emphasizing acknowledging pain, accepting grief, seeking support, and nurturing oneself physically and emotionally. Fawn shares a transformative shift in perspective by communicating her desires to the universe, leading to a change in how she perceives the situation, ultimately aiming for a harmonious experience.</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0f0f0f;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our <a href="http://websitehttps" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</a> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></span></span></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1603120/How-to-Get-Over-Hate-and-Prejudice-.mp3" length="15425366"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This podcast episode delves into personal experiences with prejudice and discrimination, discussing the emotional impact and strategies for coping. Fawn recounts encountering prejudice in a new group, reflecting on the pain, shame, and feelings of being disregarded or unseen due to racism. The episode outlines steps to address such emotions, emphasizing acknowledging pain, accepting grief, seeking support, and nurturing oneself physically and emotionally. Fawn shares a transformative shift in perspective by communicating her desires to the universe, leading to a change in how she perceives the situation, ultimately aiming for a harmonious experience. 
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1603120/podcast-art.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:16:04</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Very Superstitious]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Nov 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1599495</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/very-superstitious</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#0f0f0f;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode of “Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt,” hosts Fawn and Matt explore the concept of superstitions and how they can be traced back to ancient practices for protection. They dive into the whimsical world of superstitions and friendships. Fawn and Matt reflect on childhood beliefs, from knocking on wood to saying "bless you," intertwining these practices with the essence of friendship. As chaos swirls around, they unravel how friendships often evolve from shared anxieties and grow into something deeper, emphasizing the need to uplift each other and embrace the quirks that make friendships beautiful. In a conversation peppered with laughter and insights, they encourage listeners to lead with joy and be unapologetically themselves, being “down to clown” as they navigate life's adventures together.</span></span></span> </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0f0f0f;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">#Superstitions, #Friendship, #Chaos, #Anxiety, #Quirks, #Upliftment, #Joy, #Podcast, #ChildhoodBeliefs, #Laughter, #Insights, #Adventure, #Embrace, #Reflection, #Whimsical, #SharedExperiences, #OurFriendlyWorld, #Authenticity</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></a> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of “Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt,” hosts Fawn and Matt explore the concept of superstitions and how they can be traced back to ancient practices for protection. They dive into the whimsical world of superstitions and friendships. Fawn and Matt reflect on childhood beliefs, from knocking on wood to saying "bless you," intertwining these practices with the essence of friendship. As chaos swirls around, they unravel how friendships often evolve from shared anxieties and grow into something deeper, emphasizing the need to uplift each other and embrace the quirks that make friendships beautiful. In a conversation peppered with laughter and insights, they encourage listeners to lead with joy and be unapologetically themselves, being “down to clown” as they navigate life's adventures together. 
#Superstitions, #Friendship, #Chaos, #Anxiety, #Quirks, #Upliftment, #Joy, #Podcast, #ChildhoodBeliefs, #Laughter, #Insights, #Adventure, #Embrace, #Reflection, #Whimsical, #SharedExperiences, #OurFriendlyWorld, #Authenticity 
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Very Superstitious]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#0f0f0f;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">In this episode of “Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt,” hosts Fawn and Matt explore the concept of superstitions and how they can be traced back to ancient practices for protection. They dive into the whimsical world of superstitions and friendships. Fawn and Matt reflect on childhood beliefs, from knocking on wood to saying "bless you," intertwining these practices with the essence of friendship. As chaos swirls around, they unravel how friendships often evolve from shared anxieties and grow into something deeper, emphasizing the need to uplift each other and embrace the quirks that make friendships beautiful. In a conversation peppered with laughter and insights, they encourage listeners to lead with joy and be unapologetically themselves, being “down to clown” as they navigate life's adventures together.</span></span></span> </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#0f0f0f;"><span style="font-family:'S hne', 'ui-sans-serif', 'system-ui', 'apple-system', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Noto Sans', sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';"><span style="font-size:medium;">#Superstitions, #Friendship, #Chaos, #Anxiety, #Quirks, #Upliftment, #Joy, #Podcast, #ChildhoodBeliefs, #Laughter, #Insights, #Adventure, #Embrace, #Reflection, #Whimsical, #SharedExperiences, #OurFriendlyWorld, #Authenticity</span></span></span> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></a> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1599495/Episode-169-Very-Superstitious-Final.mp3" length="24289637"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode of “Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt,” hosts Fawn and Matt explore the concept of superstitions and how they can be traced back to ancient practices for protection. They dive into the whimsical world of superstitions and friendships. Fawn and Matt reflect on childhood beliefs, from knocking on wood to saying "bless you," intertwining these practices with the essence of friendship. As chaos swirls around, they unravel how friendships often evolve from shared anxieties and grow into something deeper, emphasizing the need to uplift each other and embrace the quirks that make friendships beautiful. In a conversation peppered with laughter and insights, they encourage listeners to lead with joy and be unapologetically themselves, being “down to clown” as they navigate life's adventures together. 
#Superstitions, #Friendship, #Chaos, #Anxiety, #Quirks, #Upliftment, #Joy, #Podcast, #ChildhoodBeliefs, #Laughter, #Insights, #Adventure, #Embrace, #Reflection, #Whimsical, #SharedExperiences, #OurFriendlyWorld, #Authenticity 
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1599495/Superstitious-1.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:25:18</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Urban Mobility Behavior - How the Way We Move Affects Our Friendships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Nov 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1594784</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/urban-mobility-behavior-how-the-way-we-move-affects-our-friendships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt discuss an article titled "Orientation Towards the Common Good in Cities: The Role of Individual Urban Mobility Behavior." They touch on the idea that cyclists, due to their vulnerability on the road, may have a stronger emotional bond to their neighborhoods and exhibit less individualistic behavior compared to drivers. They explore the impact of urban mobility on social interactions, highlighting how the pace of modern life, particularly in cities like Los Angeles, may contribute to a lack of community connection and increased individualism. The conversation also delves into the broader theme of slowing down, finding balance, and the potential benefits of reducing the reliance on cars for a happier and friendlier society.</p>
<p>#NeedForSpeed, #UrbanMobilityBehavior, #ArtOfFriendship, #Community, #friendshipChangesTheWorld, #SlowDown!</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt discuss an article titled "Orientation Towards the Common Good in Cities: The Role of Individual Urban Mobility Behavior." They touch on the idea that cyclists, due to their vulnerability on the road, may have a stronger emotional bond to their neighborhoods and exhibit less individualistic behavior compared to drivers. They explore the impact of urban mobility on social interactions, highlighting how the pace of modern life, particularly in cities like Los Angeles, may contribute to a lack of community connection and increased individualism. The conversation also delves into the broader theme of slowing down, finding balance, and the potential benefits of reducing the reliance on cars for a happier and friendlier society.
#NeedForSpeed, #UrbanMobilityBehavior, #ArtOfFriendship, #Community, #friendshipChangesTheWorld, #SlowDown!]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Urban Mobility Behavior - How the Way We Move Affects Our Friendships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt discuss an article titled "Orientation Towards the Common Good in Cities: The Role of Individual Urban Mobility Behavior." They touch on the idea that cyclists, due to their vulnerability on the road, may have a stronger emotional bond to their neighborhoods and exhibit less individualistic behavior compared to drivers. They explore the impact of urban mobility on social interactions, highlighting how the pace of modern life, particularly in cities like Los Angeles, may contribute to a lack of community connection and increased individualism. The conversation also delves into the broader theme of slowing down, finding balance, and the potential benefits of reducing the reliance on cars for a happier and friendlier society.</p>
<p>#NeedForSpeed, #UrbanMobilityBehavior, #ArtOfFriendship, #Community, #friendshipChangesTheWorld, #SlowDown!</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1594784/Urban-Mobility-Behavior.mp3" length="22858838"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt discuss an article titled "Orientation Towards the Common Good in Cities: The Role of Individual Urban Mobility Behavior." They touch on the idea that cyclists, due to their vulnerability on the road, may have a stronger emotional bond to their neighborhoods and exhibit less individualistic behavior compared to drivers. They explore the impact of urban mobility on social interactions, highlighting how the pace of modern life, particularly in cities like Los Angeles, may contribute to a lack of community connection and increased individualism. The conversation also delves into the broader theme of slowing down, finding balance, and the potential benefits of reducing the reliance on cars for a happier and friendlier society.
#NeedForSpeed, #UrbanMobilityBehavior, #ArtOfFriendship, #Community, #friendshipChangesTheWorld, #SlowDown!]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1594784/Speed.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:48</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Quantum Entanglement and the Schumann Resonance]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Nov 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1586490</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/quantum-entanglement-and-the-schumann-resonance</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">The universe has this nasty habit of expanding and contracting. And so at some point, the universe, everything that we know, everything that we live in, it'll all be in this giant mass of stuff. Well, what if that's a heartbeat, or a breath, or a, of something else?</span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">In this episode, we define Quantum Entanglement and talk about the Schumann Resonance and how it all relates to what we're all going through on the planet right now.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">#SantaMonica, #QuantumEntanglement, #SchumannResonance, #FalseIdols, #artoffriendship</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="font-size:medium;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;"> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><span style="font-size:medium;"><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a> </span></strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The universe has this nasty habit of expanding and contracting. And so at some point, the universe, everything that we know, everything that we live in, it'll all be in this giant mass of stuff. Well, what if that's a heartbeat, or a breath, or a, of something else?
In this episode, we define Quantum Entanglement and talk about the Schumann Resonance and how it all relates to what we're all going through on the planet right now.
#SantaMonica, #QuantumEntanglement, #SchumannResonance, #FalseIdols, #artoffriendship
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Quantum Entanglement and the Schumann Resonance]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">The universe has this nasty habit of expanding and contracting. And so at some point, the universe, everything that we know, everything that we live in, it'll all be in this giant mass of stuff. Well, what if that's a heartbeat, or a breath, or a, of something else?</span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">In this episode, we define Quantum Entanglement and talk about the Schumann Resonance and how it all relates to what we're all going through on the planet right now.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">#SantaMonica, #QuantumEntanglement, #SchumannResonance, #FalseIdols, #artoffriendship</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="font-size:medium;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;"> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><span style="font-size:medium;"><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a> </span></strong></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1586490/Quantum-Entanglement-and-SR.mp3" length="35743574"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The universe has this nasty habit of expanding and contracting. And so at some point, the universe, everything that we know, everything that we live in, it'll all be in this giant mass of stuff. Well, what if that's a heartbeat, or a breath, or a, of something else?
In this episode, we define Quantum Entanglement and talk about the Schumann Resonance and how it all relates to what we're all going through on the planet right now.
#SantaMonica, #QuantumEntanglement, #SchumannResonance, #FalseIdols, #artoffriendship
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1586490/Qunatum-Entanglement-and-SR.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:37:13</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Joy – How to Marry Joy with Hard Times]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Oct 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1576009</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-joy-how-to-marry-joy-with-hard-times</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Like friends that are totally different from one another, coexisting through their different personalities and creating a healthy relationship with different perspectives, so too can joy and grief be friends in the same way.<br /><br />This week we ask how we marry joy with hard times, what happiness versus joy really is.<br /><br />We may feel there isn't a tie between joy and grief. <br /><br />The definition of JOY is: Rejoice, to rejoice, comes from rejoice, to come together, What does rejoice really mean? To rejoice in something. To come together. You're not separate. So why should we separate joy from the rest of life?<br /><br />We also discuss the pendulum effect, where things should have been balanced all <br />along but because it wasn't, we need, or society then provides, zeitgeist maybe just provides this kind of hard lesson one way and then a swing back and then a swing the other way and a swing back until it eventually lands somewhere in the middle.</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Like friends that are totally different from one another, coexisting through their different personalities and creating a healthy relationship with different perspectives, so too can joy and grief be friends in the same way.This week we ask how we marry joy with hard times, what happiness versus joy really is.We may feel there isn't a tie between joy and grief. The definition of JOY is: Rejoice, to rejoice, comes from rejoice, to come together, What does rejoice really mean? To rejoice in something. To come together. You're not separate. So why should we separate joy from the rest of life?We also discuss the pendulum effect, where things should have been balanced all along but because it wasn't, we need, or society then provides, zeitgeist maybe just provides this kind of hard lesson one way and then a swing back and then a swing the other way and a swing back until it eventually lands somewhere in the middle.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Joy – How to Marry Joy with Hard Times]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Like friends that are totally different from one another, coexisting through their different personalities and creating a healthy relationship with different perspectives, so too can joy and grief be friends in the same way.<br /><br />This week we ask how we marry joy with hard times, what happiness versus joy really is.<br /><br />We may feel there isn't a tie between joy and grief. <br /><br />The definition of JOY is: Rejoice, to rejoice, comes from rejoice, to come together, What does rejoice really mean? To rejoice in something. To come together. You're not separate. So why should we separate joy from the rest of life?<br /><br />We also discuss the pendulum effect, where things should have been balanced all <br />along but because it wasn't, we need, or society then provides, zeitgeist maybe just provides this kind of hard lesson one way and then a swing back and then a swing the other way and a swing back until it eventually lands somewhere in the middle.</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1576009/The-Art-of-JOY.mp3" length="30503126"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Like friends that are totally different from one another, coexisting through their different personalities and creating a healthy relationship with different perspectives, so too can joy and grief be friends in the same way.This week we ask how we marry joy with hard times, what happiness versus joy really is.We may feel there isn't a tie between joy and grief. The definition of JOY is: Rejoice, to rejoice, comes from rejoice, to come together, What does rejoice really mean? To rejoice in something. To come together. You're not separate. So why should we separate joy from the rest of life?We also discuss the pendulum effect, where things should have been balanced all along but because it wasn't, we need, or society then provides, zeitgeist maybe just provides this kind of hard lesson one way and then a swing back and then a swing the other way and a swing back until it eventually lands somewhere in the middle.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1576009/The-Art-of-Joy.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:46</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[We Are a Murmur]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 22 Oct 2023 13:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1575874</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/we-are-a-murmur</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>A murmur is when hundreds or thousands of starlings flock together and create swooping swirling patterns in the sky. We've all seen it, you know, like all of a sudden, you look up because you hear something in the sky. You see just so many of them flying and they're in unison. They're in perfect harmony and synchronicity.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>You can see them flying and roosting together. And each roost has a few thousand to several million birds. They may fly over, a 12-mile area, looking for their home. And then other birds can sometimes join them, like join the ride. Ha ha.<br /><br />And then, when they arrive, it's like, they announce themselves through a murmur, those shapes that they create as they fly together.<br /><br /><br />And when you look at it, they create shapes that we know. Like, I've seen some videos of them, over an ocean, and they're flying in the sky, and they're going from here to there, they're swirling, they separate, they come back together.<br /><br />Like water and then they turn into something that looks like a whale for a second or two seconds sometimes they come together and they look like one massive bird with wings and a beak and everything. It's outrageous It's amazing that the collective works together like that and aren't we the same?<br /><br />We're all a part of that. So what are we doing together? What are we creating?<br />There's a message to learn from the starling and the murmur: while things look dark, hold tight and keep the faith. You have the support of outstanding people who will get you through.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[A murmur is when hundreds or thousands of starlings flock together and create swooping swirling patterns in the sky. We've all seen it, you know, like all of a sudden, you look up because you hear something in the sky. You see just so many of them flying and they're in unison. They're in perfect harmony and synchronicity.
You can see them flying and roosting together. And each roost has a few thousand to several million birds. They may fly over, a 12-mile area, looking for their home. And then other birds can sometimes join them, like join the ride. Ha ha.And then, when they arrive, it's like, they announce themselves through a murmur, those shapes that they create as they fly together.And when you look at it, they create shapes that we know. Like, I've seen some videos of them, over an ocean, and they're flying in the sky, and they're going from here to there, they're swirling, they separate, they come back together.Like water and then they turn into something that looks like a whale for a second or two seconds sometimes they come together and they look like one massive bird with wings and a beak and everything. It's outrageous It's amazing that the collective works together like that and aren't we the same?We're all a part of that. So what are we doing together? What are we creating?There's a message to learn from the starling and the murmur: while things look dark, hold tight and keep the faith. You have the support of outstanding people who will get you through.
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[We Are a Murmur]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>A murmur is when hundreds or thousands of starlings flock together and create swooping swirling patterns in the sky. We've all seen it, you know, like all of a sudden, you look up because you hear something in the sky. You see just so many of them flying and they're in unison. They're in perfect harmony and synchronicity.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>You can see them flying and roosting together. And each roost has a few thousand to several million birds. They may fly over, a 12-mile area, looking for their home. And then other birds can sometimes join them, like join the ride. Ha ha.<br /><br />And then, when they arrive, it's like, they announce themselves through a murmur, those shapes that they create as they fly together.<br /><br /><br />And when you look at it, they create shapes that we know. Like, I've seen some videos of them, over an ocean, and they're flying in the sky, and they're going from here to there, they're swirling, they separate, they come back together.<br /><br />Like water and then they turn into something that looks like a whale for a second or two seconds sometimes they come together and they look like one massive bird with wings and a beak and everything. It's outrageous It's amazing that the collective works together like that and aren't we the same?<br /><br />We're all a part of that. So what are we doing together? What are we creating?<br />There's a message to learn from the starling and the murmur: while things look dark, hold tight and keep the faith. You have the support of outstanding people who will get you through.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1575874/Murmurs-of-Us.mp3" length="19749974"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[A murmur is when hundreds or thousands of starlings flock together and create swooping swirling patterns in the sky. We've all seen it, you know, like all of a sudden, you look up because you hear something in the sky. You see just so many of them flying and they're in unison. They're in perfect harmony and synchronicity.
You can see them flying and roosting together. And each roost has a few thousand to several million birds. They may fly over, a 12-mile area, looking for their home. And then other birds can sometimes join them, like join the ride. Ha ha.And then, when they arrive, it's like, they announce themselves through a murmur, those shapes that they create as they fly together.And when you look at it, they create shapes that we know. Like, I've seen some videos of them, over an ocean, and they're flying in the sky, and they're going from here to there, they're swirling, they separate, they come back together.Like water and then they turn into something that looks like a whale for a second or two seconds sometimes they come together and they look like one massive bird with wings and a beak and everything. It's outrageous It's amazing that the collective works together like that and aren't we the same?We're all a part of that. So what are we doing together? What are we creating?There's a message to learn from the starling and the murmur: while things look dark, hold tight and keep the faith. You have the support of outstanding people who will get you through.
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1575874/Murmur.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:20:34</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Mama vs MOMA - The Feeling of ARTRAGE and How Our Presence Creates Ripples in the World]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Oct 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1570895</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/mama-vs-moma-the-feeling-of-artrage-and-how-our-presence-creates-ripples-in-the-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Every person is like a work of art. </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Fawn has a not-so-friendly trip to a museum and experiences #artrage and goes to a totally different museum and experiences LOVE and INSPIRATION. Whatever we do in life can be a way to help one another, it's about helping one another. It's about human connection. It's about love. It's about supporting one another. It's about community.<br /><br />Bringing it back to the art of friendship, institutions, businesses, people, animals, everything creates a ripple effect and creates a whole new world. Let's look at the people, and the institutions, and see how they contribute to the ripple. #MoMA #EricCarleMuseum #artrage, #rippleeffects, #artodfriendship</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#55595c;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span>website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have<span style="color:#55595c;"> </span><span style="color:#55595c;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Every person is like a work of art. 
Fawn has a not-so-friendly trip to a museum and experiences #artrage and goes to a totally different museum and experiences LOVE and INSPIRATION. Whatever we do in life can be a way to help one another, it's about helping one another. It's about human connection. It's about love. It's about supporting one another. It's about community.Bringing it back to the art of friendship, institutions, businesses, people, animals, everything creates a ripple effect and creates a whole new world. Let's look at the people, and the institutions, and see how they contribute to the ripple. #MoMA #EricCarleMuseum #artrage, #rippleeffects, #artodfriendship
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Mama vs MOMA - The Feeling of ARTRAGE and How Our Presence Creates Ripples in the World]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Every person is like a work of art. </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Fawn has a not-so-friendly trip to a museum and experiences #artrage and goes to a totally different museum and experiences LOVE and INSPIRATION. Whatever we do in life can be a way to help one another, it's about helping one another. It's about human connection. It's about love. It's about supporting one another. It's about community.<br /><br />Bringing it back to the art of friendship, institutions, businesses, people, animals, everything creates a ripple effect and creates a whole new world. Let's look at the people, and the institutions, and see how they contribute to the ripple. #MoMA #EricCarleMuseum #artrage, #rippleeffects, #artodfriendship</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#55595c;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span>website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have<span style="color:#55595c;"> </span><span style="color:#55595c;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1570895/Mama-vs-MoMa.mp3" length="53511254"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Every person is like a work of art. 
Fawn has a not-so-friendly trip to a museum and experiences #artrage and goes to a totally different museum and experiences LOVE and INSPIRATION. Whatever we do in life can be a way to help one another, it's about helping one another. It's about human connection. It's about love. It's about supporting one another. It's about community.Bringing it back to the art of friendship, institutions, businesses, people, animals, everything creates a ripple effect and creates a whole new world. Let's look at the people, and the institutions, and see how they contribute to the ripple. #MoMA #EricCarleMuseum #artrage, #rippleeffects, #artodfriendship
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1570895/Moma-vs-MoMA.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:55:44</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Hearing with Dr. Cathia Walters]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Oct 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1559410</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-hearing-with-dr-cathia-walters</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Dr. Cathia Walters joins us again to discuss how we hear each other. What happens when individuals or groups of people observe different experiences, and realities, even just hearing things or seeing things? How can we communicate with each other when we all have different perspectives?</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our <a href="http://websitehttps" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</a> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#MandelaEffect, #RealityBubbles, #Dr.CathiaWalters, #Communication</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Dr. Cathia Walters joins us again to discuss how we hear each other. What happens when individuals or groups of people observe different experiences, and realities, even just hearing things or seeing things? How can we communicate with each other when we all have different perspectives?
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
#MandelaEffect, #RealityBubbles, #Dr.CathiaWalters, #Communication]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Hearing with Dr. Cathia Walters]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Dr. Cathia Walters joins us again to discuss how we hear each other. What happens when individuals or groups of people observe different experiences, and realities, even just hearing things or seeing things? How can we communicate with each other when we all have different perspectives?</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our <a href="http://websitehttps" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</a> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#MandelaEffect, #RealityBubbles, #Dr.CathiaWalters, #Communication</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1559410/Episode-162-Communicating-Through-Different-Reality-Bubbles-with-Dr-Walters.mp3" length="61587542"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Dr. Cathia Walters joins us again to discuss how we hear each other. What happens when individuals or groups of people observe different experiences, and realities, even just hearing things or seeing things? How can we communicate with each other when we all have different perspectives?
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
#MandelaEffect, #RealityBubbles, #Dr.CathiaWalters, #Communication]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1559410/Eyebulb.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:04:09</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Transitioning from Point A to Point B]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Oct 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1559413</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/transitioning-from-point-a-to-point-b</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Dealing with change can make us all anxious. During a time of transition, everyone is experiencing a little bit of trepidation, a little bit of wondering what's going to happen. This is the perfect time to remind each other that it's going to be okay. Appreciate this time. Don't fret about anything. Appreciate what's in front of you right now. If there's a problem, know that it's happening for the best, and listen to these ten things that may help.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br /><br />#Anxious, #anxiousness, #theArtOfFriendship, #transitioningThroughLife</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></a><strong> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Dealing with change can make us all anxious. During a time of transition, everyone is experiencing a little bit of trepidation, a little bit of wondering what's going to happen. This is the perfect time to remind each other that it's going to be okay. Appreciate this time. Don't fret about anything. Appreciate what's in front of you right now. If there's a problem, know that it's happening for the best, and listen to these ten things that may help.
#Anxious, #anxiousness, #theArtOfFriendship, #transitioningThroughLife
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Transitioning from Point A to Point B]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Dealing with change can make us all anxious. During a time of transition, everyone is experiencing a little bit of trepidation, a little bit of wondering what's going to happen. This is the perfect time to remind each other that it's going to be okay. Appreciate this time. Don't fret about anything. Appreciate what's in front of you right now. If there's a problem, know that it's happening for the best, and listen to these ten things that may help.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br /><br />#Anxious, #anxiousness, #theArtOfFriendship, #transitioningThroughLife</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></a><strong> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1559413/Episode-163-Transitioning-From-Point-A-to-Point-B-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="27902706"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Dealing with change can make us all anxious. During a time of transition, everyone is experiencing a little bit of trepidation, a little bit of wondering what's going to happen. This is the perfect time to remind each other that it's going to be okay. Appreciate this time. Don't fret about anything. Appreciate what's in front of you right now. If there's a problem, know that it's happening for the best, and listen to these ten things that may help.
#Anxious, #anxiousness, #theArtOfFriendship, #transitioningThroughLife
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1559413/list-of-things-to-make-things-better.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:03</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Integrity]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 25 Sep 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1549600</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-integrity</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">When we think of integrity, we think of the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, blah, blah, blah. But it also tends to go towards the division; “I have integrity. You don't, I believe in such and such, and you don't. Therefore you don't have integrity.”<br /><br />This week we look at the deeper meaning of<em> integrity</em> and how the art of friendship plays a role in shaping our society. The other meaning, the etymology of <em>integrity</em> is a state of being whole, undivided, a state of being whole and undivided, the condition of being unified, unimpaired. The <br />The adjective form of integrity is integer, integral, complete, perfect, intact, untouched.<br /><br />We ask who benefits from a divided community and who benefits from this kind of thing. Let's look at how we can be whole and undivided as people.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#000000;">Thoughts? Click the microphone icon on <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> and leave us a</span></strong> <strong><span style="color:#000000;">kind voice message.</span></strong> <strong><span style="color:#000000;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></strong><strong><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></strong> <strong><br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[When we think of integrity, we think of the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, blah, blah, blah. But it also tends to go towards the division; “I have integrity. You don't, I believe in such and such, and you don't. Therefore you don't have integrity.”This week we look at the deeper meaning of integrity and how the art of friendship plays a role in shaping our society. The other meaning, the etymology of integrity is a state of being whole, undivided, a state of being whole and undivided, the condition of being unified, unimpaired. The The adjective form of integrity is integer, integral, complete, perfect, intact, untouched.We ask who benefits from a divided community and who benefits from this kind of thing. Let's look at how we can be whole and undivided as people.
Thoughts? Click the microphone icon on https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ and leave us a kind voice message. Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Integrity]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">When we think of integrity, we think of the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, blah, blah, blah. But it also tends to go towards the division; “I have integrity. You don't, I believe in such and such, and you don't. Therefore you don't have integrity.”<br /><br />This week we look at the deeper meaning of<em> integrity</em> and how the art of friendship plays a role in shaping our society. The other meaning, the etymology of <em>integrity</em> is a state of being whole, undivided, a state of being whole and undivided, the condition of being unified, unimpaired. The <br />The adjective form of integrity is integer, integral, complete, perfect, intact, untouched.<br /><br />We ask who benefits from a divided community and who benefits from this kind of thing. Let's look at how we can be whole and undivided as people.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#000000;">Thoughts? Click the microphone icon on <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> and leave us a</span></strong> <strong><span style="color:#000000;">kind voice message.</span></strong> <strong><span style="color:#000000;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></strong><strong><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></strong> <strong><br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1549600/The-Art-of-Integrity-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="25985750"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[When we think of integrity, we think of the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, blah, blah, blah. But it also tends to go towards the division; “I have integrity. You don't, I believe in such and such, and you don't. Therefore you don't have integrity.”This week we look at the deeper meaning of integrity and how the art of friendship plays a role in shaping our society. The other meaning, the etymology of integrity is a state of being whole, undivided, a state of being whole and undivided, the condition of being unified, unimpaired. The The adjective form of integrity is integer, integral, complete, perfect, intact, untouched.We ask who benefits from a divided community and who benefits from this kind of thing. Let's look at how we can be whole and undivided as people.
Thoughts? Click the microphone icon on https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ and leave us a kind voice message. Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1549600/Integrity.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:27:04</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Stillness]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Sep 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1548664</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-stillness</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Within you, there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself. - Herman Hess <br /><br />Even in stillness, there is movement. Sometimes it takes time for the molecules of change to shift form. Even when it feels like nothing is happening, transformation is taking place. -Anonymous <br /><br />To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. - LAO TZU <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> There is an art of being still that totally lets the person know you are here with them, you are present, you're loving them, you're embracing them without physically touching them. There's an art to that, and it's quite simple. You just have to be still hold your own and look at the person and see them and listen to them, and I think people are so afraid of what happens to the in-between that they'll just keep running; running their mouths or running away one thing after another.<br /><br /> It runs the gamut. And there are points in time where it's good to be still and there are points in time where it isn't. And that's just it. We can literally pick and choose those moments and we should pick and choose those moments and to take us all the way back to being still as being a good thing. Not only does it help rechannel our energy and give us more connectedness to ourselves, but it also allows us to better connect to others.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color:#000000;"> </span></strong><strong><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></span></span></span></strong> </span></p>
<h3 class="western">#ZenKoan, <span style="font-size:small;">#Thomas Merton, #MountBaldyZenCenterSouthernCalifornia, </span></h3>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Within you, there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself. - Herman Hess Even in stillness, there is movement. Sometimes it takes time for the molecules of change to shift form. Even when it feels like nothing is happening, transformation is taking place. -Anonymous To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. - LAO TZU  There is an art of being still that totally lets the person know you are here with them, you are present, you're loving them, you're embracing them without physically touching them. There's an art to that, and it's quite simple. You just have to be still hold your own and look at the person and see them and listen to them, and I think people are so afraid of what happens to the in-between that they'll just keep running; running their mouths or running away one thing after another. It runs the gamut. And there are points in time where it's good to be still and there are points in time where it isn't. And that's just it. We can literally pick and choose those moments and we should pick and choose those moments and to take us all the way back to being still as being a good thing. Not only does it help rechannel our energy and give us more connectedness to ourselves, but it also allows us to better connect to others.

Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
#ZenKoan, #Thomas Merton, #MountBaldyZenCenterSouthernCalifornia, ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Stillness]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Within you, there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself. - Herman Hess <br /><br />Even in stillness, there is movement. Sometimes it takes time for the molecules of change to shift form. Even when it feels like nothing is happening, transformation is taking place. -Anonymous <br /><br />To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. - LAO TZU <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> There is an art of being still that totally lets the person know you are here with them, you are present, you're loving them, you're embracing them without physically touching them. There's an art to that, and it's quite simple. You just have to be still hold your own and look at the person and see them and listen to them, and I think people are so afraid of what happens to the in-between that they'll just keep running; running their mouths or running away one thing after another.<br /><br /> It runs the gamut. And there are points in time where it's good to be still and there are points in time where it isn't. And that's just it. We can literally pick and choose those moments and we should pick and choose those moments and to take us all the way back to being still as being a good thing. Not only does it help rechannel our energy and give us more connectedness to ourselves, but it also allows us to better connect to others.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color:#000000;"> </span></strong><strong><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></span></span></span></strong> </span></p>
<h3 class="western">#ZenKoan, <span style="font-size:small;">#Thomas Merton, #MountBaldyZenCenterSouthernCalifornia, </span></h3>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1548664/The-Art-of-Stillness-Full-Episode.mp3" length="25838702"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Within you, there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself. - Herman Hess Even in stillness, there is movement. Sometimes it takes time for the molecules of change to shift form. Even when it feels like nothing is happening, transformation is taking place. -Anonymous To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. - LAO TZU  There is an art of being still that totally lets the person know you are here with them, you are present, you're loving them, you're embracing them without physically touching them. There's an art to that, and it's quite simple. You just have to be still hold your own and look at the person and see them and listen to them, and I think people are so afraid of what happens to the in-between that they'll just keep running; running their mouths or running away one thing after another. It runs the gamut. And there are points in time where it's good to be still and there are points in time where it isn't. And that's just it. We can literally pick and choose those moments and we should pick and choose those moments and to take us all the way back to being still as being a good thing. Not only does it help rechannel our energy and give us more connectedness to ourselves, but it also allows us to better connect to others.

Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
#ZenKoan, #Thomas Merton, #MountBaldyZenCenterSouthernCalifornia, ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1548664/The-Art-of-Stillness-Herman-Hesse.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Wasted Time - How Do We Enjoy Our Time Together?]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Sep 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1548649</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/wasted-time-how-do-we-enjoy-our-time-together</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">You are the 100% owner of your life ie: your time. This is your time. Spend it, invest it, bend it, enjoy it how you wish, with whom you wish.<br /><br /> I'm purposely using the word invest because people are so freaked out about wasting time and I think that it's wrong. I think we should through caution to the wind and waste some time. Let's be so stupid rich with time that we can waste some time. And what does it mean to waste time?<br /><br />This week we discuss the guilt that we feel when we're not being “PRODUCTIVE”. What does productive really mean, and who made up the definition of what “productive” is in life? <br /><br /><br /><br />You can go anywhere you choose, you can reroute your whole life. Think about your time. It's your life and as long as you are breathing, you have the currency.<br /><br />How generous are we with our lives? Being fully present is a big deal. Devoting ourselves, i e, our time to one another, our attention, being in a state of stillness can create a moment where you feel more powerful. And in that moment, time expands for you. Let's harness that and let's live richly.</span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#000000;"> </span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:medium;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></span></span> <br /><br />#ContextShifting #WastingTime #BeingProductive #LiveRichly</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[You are the 100% owner of your life ie: your time. This is your time. Spend it, invest it, bend it, enjoy it how you wish, with whom you wish. I'm purposely using the word invest because people are so freaked out about wasting time and I think that it's wrong. I think we should through caution to the wind and waste some time. Let's be so stupid rich with time that we can waste some time. And what does it mean to waste time?This week we discuss the guilt that we feel when we're not being “PRODUCTIVE”. What does productive really mean, and who made up the definition of what “productive” is in life? You can go anywhere you choose, you can reroute your whole life. Think about your time. It's your life and as long as you are breathing, you have the currency.How generous are we with our lives? Being fully present is a big deal. Devoting ourselves, i e, our time to one another, our attention, being in a state of stillness can create a moment where you feel more powerful. And in that moment, time expands for you. Let's harness that and let's live richly.
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace #ContextShifting #WastingTime #BeingProductive #LiveRichly]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Wasted Time - How Do We Enjoy Our Time Together?]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">You are the 100% owner of your life ie: your time. This is your time. Spend it, invest it, bend it, enjoy it how you wish, with whom you wish.<br /><br /> I'm purposely using the word invest because people are so freaked out about wasting time and I think that it's wrong. I think we should through caution to the wind and waste some time. Let's be so stupid rich with time that we can waste some time. And what does it mean to waste time?<br /><br />This week we discuss the guilt that we feel when we're not being “PRODUCTIVE”. What does productive really mean, and who made up the definition of what “productive” is in life? <br /><br /><br /><br />You can go anywhere you choose, you can reroute your whole life. Think about your time. It's your life and as long as you are breathing, you have the currency.<br /><br />How generous are we with our lives? Being fully present is a big deal. Devoting ourselves, i e, our time to one another, our attention, being in a state of stillness can create a moment where you feel more powerful. And in that moment, time expands for you. Let's harness that and let's live richly.</span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#000000;"> </span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:medium;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></span></span> <br /><br />#ContextShifting #WastingTime #BeingProductive #LiveRichly</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1548649/Wasted-Time.mp3" length="24466262"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[You are the 100% owner of your life ie: your time. This is your time. Spend it, invest it, bend it, enjoy it how you wish, with whom you wish. I'm purposely using the word invest because people are so freaked out about wasting time and I think that it's wrong. I think we should through caution to the wind and waste some time. Let's be so stupid rich with time that we can waste some time. And what does it mean to waste time?This week we discuss the guilt that we feel when we're not being “PRODUCTIVE”. What does productive really mean, and who made up the definition of what “productive” is in life? You can go anywhere you choose, you can reroute your whole life. Think about your time. It's your life and as long as you are breathing, you have the currency.How generous are we with our lives? Being fully present is a big deal. Devoting ourselves, i e, our time to one another, our attention, being in a state of stillness can create a moment where you feel more powerful. And in that moment, time expands for you. Let's harness that and let's live richly.
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace #ContextShifting #WastingTime #BeingProductive #LiveRichly]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1548649/waste-of-time-1.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:25:29</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Living Your True Life: 5 Ways to Embrace Happiness and Fulfillment]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 04 Sep 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1548644</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/living-your-true-life-5-ways-to-embrace-happiness-and-fulfillment</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Let's shift towards authenticity, meaningful connections, self-expression, and finding joy in both personal and professional aspects of life!</span></span></span></p>
<p><strong><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span></strong><strong><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></strong></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Let's shift towards authenticity, meaningful connections, self-expression, and finding joy in both personal and professional aspects of life!
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Living Your True Life: 5 Ways to Embrace Happiness and Fulfillment]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#374151;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Let's shift towards authenticity, meaningful connections, self-expression, and finding joy in both personal and professional aspects of life!</span></span></span></p>
<p><strong><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span></strong><strong><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></strong></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1548644/Episode-158-5-Ways-to-Happiness.mp3" length="18066134"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Let's shift towards authenticity, meaningful connections, self-expression, and finding joy in both personal and professional aspects of life!
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1548644/Believe-It-Baby-.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:18:49</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Unlocking Your Potential: How to Improve Your Luck and Manifest Success"]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Aug 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1543587</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/unlocking-your-potential-how-to-improve-your-luck-and-manifest-success</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Did you know that people who consider themselves lucky are more likely to be extroverted? </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>As we look to emphasize personal growth and empowerment while also touching on themes of luck and manifestation, we explore how we can look at luck in our lives and explore ways to attract positive outcomes.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>How can we unlock good fortune? How can a positive or in some cases a neutral mindset and social connections impact luck?</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> Fawn and Matt explore h</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>ow a positive attitude, new connections, and genuine smiles shape success.</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </strong></span></span></span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</strong></span></span></span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </strong></span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</strong></span></span></span></a></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Did you know that people who consider themselves lucky are more likely to be extroverted? 
As we look to emphasize personal growth and empowerment while also touching on themes of luck and manifestation, we explore how we can look at luck in our lives and explore ways to attract positive outcomes.
How can we unlock good fortune? How can a positive or in some cases a neutral mindset and social connections impact luck? Fawn and Matt explore how a positive attitude, new connections, and genuine smiles shape success.
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Unlocking Your Potential: How to Improve Your Luck and Manifest Success"]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Did you know that people who consider themselves lucky are more likely to be extroverted? </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>As we look to emphasize personal growth and empowerment while also touching on themes of luck and manifestation, we explore how we can look at luck in our lives and explore ways to attract positive outcomes.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>How can we unlock good fortune? How can a positive or in some cases a neutral mindset and social connections impact luck?</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> Fawn and Matt explore h</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>ow a positive attitude, new connections, and genuine smiles shape success.</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </strong></span></span></span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</strong></span></span></span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </strong></span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</strong></span></span></span></a></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1543587/Luck-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="28161878"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Did you know that people who consider themselves lucky are more likely to be extroverted? 
As we look to emphasize personal growth and empowerment while also touching on themes of luck and manifestation, we explore how we can look at luck in our lives and explore ways to attract positive outcomes.
How can we unlock good fortune? How can a positive or in some cases a neutral mindset and social connections impact luck? Fawn and Matt explore how a positive attitude, new connections, and genuine smiles shape success.
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1543587/Luck.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:20</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Building a Positive Circle: 5 Kinds of People for a Healthy Friendship & Thriving Community ]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Aug 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1540396</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/building-a-positive-circle-5-kinds-of-people-for-a-healthy-friendship-thriving-community</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><span style="font-size:small;">As we start thinking about friends, teams, and teammates we should strive for a team/community/friendships that espouse the whole concept of a rising tide lifts all ships. <br />A rising tide lifts all ships. </span><span style="font-size:small;">We look at the kinds of people that we should surround ourselves with and look at 5 kinds of people in particular. </span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:small;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:small;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:small;"> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[As we start thinking about friends, teams, and teammates we should strive for a team/community/friendships that espouse the whole concept of a rising tide lifts all ships. A rising tide lifts all ships. We look at the kinds of people that we should surround ourselves with and look at 5 kinds of people in particular. 
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Building a Positive Circle: 5 Kinds of People for a Healthy Friendship & Thriving Community ]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><span style="font-size:small;">As we start thinking about friends, teams, and teammates we should strive for a team/community/friendships that espouse the whole concept of a rising tide lifts all ships. <br />A rising tide lifts all ships. </span><span style="font-size:small;">We look at the kinds of people that we should surround ourselves with and look at 5 kinds of people in particular. </span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:small;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:small;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:small;"> a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1540396/5-Kinds-of-People-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="22888406"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[As we start thinking about friends, teams, and teammates we should strive for a team/community/friendships that espouse the whole concept of a rising tide lifts all ships. A rising tide lifts all ships. We look at the kinds of people that we should surround ourselves with and look at 5 kinds of people in particular. 
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1540396/Untitled-1.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:50</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[ Living For the Soul's Benefit, While Living Large - How Not to Stress Out About Money and Life W/ Barry Lane]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Aug 2023 01:15:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1536326</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/living-for-the-souls-benefit-while-living-large-how-not-to-stress-out-about-money-and-life-w-barry-lane</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">This is a time when it's extra important to stay optimistic and filled with faith.<br />Enjoy and appreciate the small successes and recognize that they add up to the big ones. So the successes add up to the big ones. The more you stay centered in gratitude, the more positive opportunities will come your way. But most importantly, this is a time when it's extra important to stay optimistic.<br /><br />Barry Lane joins us and teaches us how not to stress out about money and talks about living for the soul's benefit while living large. He tells us about a philosopher called Émile Durkheim, how capitalism atomizes people, how people can be little atoms that can't connect with each other, how they're separated by their own little pursuits for their own private lives and nests they try to build and competing against all the other nests and how this makes people suicidal. All this stems from a lack of community.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Barry gives us tools to thrive through all of this and teaches us how to create community with two words!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://barrylane.com/</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#BarryLane, #HowtoNotStressAboutMoney, #ÉmileDurkheim, #community, #theartoffriendship, #theartofcommunity</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span>website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have<span style="color:#55595c;"> </span><span style="color:#55595c;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a> </span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This is a time when it's extra important to stay optimistic and filled with faith.Enjoy and appreciate the small successes and recognize that they add up to the big ones. So the successes add up to the big ones. The more you stay centered in gratitude, the more positive opportunities will come your way. But most importantly, this is a time when it's extra important to stay optimistic.Barry Lane joins us and teaches us how not to stress out about money and talks about living for the soul's benefit while living large. He tells us about a philosopher called Émile Durkheim, how capitalism atomizes people, how people can be little atoms that can't connect with each other, how they're separated by their own little pursuits for their own private lives and nests they try to build and competing against all the other nests and how this makes people suicidal. All this stems from a lack of community.
Barry gives us tools to thrive through all of this and teaches us how to create community with two words!
https://barrylane.com/
#BarryLane, #HowtoNotStressAboutMoney, #ÉmileDurkheim, #community, #theartoffriendship, #theartofcommunity
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[ Living For the Soul's Benefit, While Living Large - How Not to Stress Out About Money and Life W/ Barry Lane]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">This is a time when it's extra important to stay optimistic and filled with faith.<br />Enjoy and appreciate the small successes and recognize that they add up to the big ones. So the successes add up to the big ones. The more you stay centered in gratitude, the more positive opportunities will come your way. But most importantly, this is a time when it's extra important to stay optimistic.<br /><br />Barry Lane joins us and teaches us how not to stress out about money and talks about living for the soul's benefit while living large. He tells us about a philosopher called Émile Durkheim, how capitalism atomizes people, how people can be little atoms that can't connect with each other, how they're separated by their own little pursuits for their own private lives and nests they try to build and competing against all the other nests and how this makes people suicidal. All this stems from a lack of community.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Barry gives us tools to thrive through all of this and teaches us how to create community with two words!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">https://barrylane.com/</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#BarryLane, #HowtoNotStressAboutMoney, #ÉmileDurkheim, #community, #theartoffriendship, #theartofcommunity</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span>website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have<span style="color:#55595c;"> </span><span style="color:#55595c;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a> </span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1536326/How-to-Not-Stress-About-Money-Living-for-the-Soul-s-Benefit-but-Living-Large-.mp3" length="50345174"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This is a time when it's extra important to stay optimistic and filled with faith.Enjoy and appreciate the small successes and recognize that they add up to the big ones. So the successes add up to the big ones. The more you stay centered in gratitude, the more positive opportunities will come your way. But most importantly, this is a time when it's extra important to stay optimistic.Barry Lane joins us and teaches us how not to stress out about money and talks about living for the soul's benefit while living large. He tells us about a philosopher called Émile Durkheim, how capitalism atomizes people, how people can be little atoms that can't connect with each other, how they're separated by their own little pursuits for their own private lives and nests they try to build and competing against all the other nests and how this makes people suicidal. All this stems from a lack of community.
Barry gives us tools to thrive through all of this and teaches us how to create community with two words!
https://barrylane.com/
#BarryLane, #HowtoNotStressAboutMoney, #ÉmileDurkheim, #community, #theartoffriendship, #theartofcommunity
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1536326/podcast-art.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:52:26</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Relationships and the 5 Rules of Improv]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Aug 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1532131</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/relationships-and-the-5-rules-of-improv</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Have you ever found that you thought you were just kind of bebopping through and just doing your own thing, and then all of a sudden you discover that one of the frameworks that you have, even for communication, you're totally stealing from somewhere else?<br /><br />If you really think about it, how is a conversation, not improv? How is hanging out with your friends not dissimilar from an improv show? In this episode, we go through the rules that exist in improv and relate them specifically to having good friendships. We also discuss the seven deadly sins of improv and what not to do inside our friendships.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span><strong><br /></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Have you ever found that you thought you were just kind of bebopping through and just doing your own thing, and then all of a sudden you discover that one of the frameworks that you have, even for communication, you're totally stealing from somewhere else?If you really think about it, how is a conversation, not improv? How is hanging out with your friends not dissimilar from an improv show? In this episode, we go through the rules that exist in improv and relate them specifically to having good friendships. We also discuss the seven deadly sins of improv and what not to do inside our friendships.
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Relationships and the 5 Rules of Improv]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Have you ever found that you thought you were just kind of bebopping through and just doing your own thing, and then all of a sudden you discover that one of the frameworks that you have, even for communication, you're totally stealing from somewhere else?<br /><br />If you really think about it, how is a conversation, not improv? How is hanging out with your friends not dissimilar from an improv show? In this episode, we go through the rules that exist in improv and relate them specifically to having good friendships. We also discuss the seven deadly sins of improv and what not to do inside our friendships.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span><strong><br /></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1532131/Relationships-and-the-5-Rules-of-Improv.mp3" length="23690966"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Have you ever found that you thought you were just kind of bebopping through and just doing your own thing, and then all of a sudden you discover that one of the frameworks that you have, even for communication, you're totally stealing from somewhere else?If you really think about it, how is a conversation, not improv? How is hanging out with your friends not dissimilar from an improv show? In this episode, we go through the rules that exist in improv and relate them specifically to having good friendships. We also discuss the seven deadly sins of improv and what not to do inside our friendships.
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1532131/Relationships-and-the-5-Rules-of-Improv.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:24:40</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA["Breaking the Silence: The Art of Friendship and Fearless Storytelling"   ]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 31 Jul 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1525460</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/breaking-the-silence-the-art-of-friendship-and-fearless-storytelling</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This episode takes us on the journey of discovering why we don't talk about certain things, why we don't talk, period, why we don't expose what we're going through, and why we don't share what we've been through. How did we reach this point in our culture that there is no village, that there is not a space where we can hold one another and hear each other's stories?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">website:<a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode takes us on the journey of discovering why we don't talk about certain things, why we don't talk, period, why we don't expose what we're going through, and why we don't share what we've been through. How did we reach this point in our culture that there is no village, that there is not a space where we can hold one another and hear each other's stories?
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA["Breaking the Silence: The Art of Friendship and Fearless Storytelling"   ]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This episode takes us on the journey of discovering why we don't talk about certain things, why we don't talk, period, why we don't expose what we're going through, and why we don't share what we've been through. How did we reach this point in our culture that there is no village, that there is not a space where we can hold one another and hear each other's stories?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">website:<a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">AND...Have</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at </span></span></span><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></a> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1525460/The-Art-of-the-Talk-Full-Episode.mp3" length="45170390"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This episode takes us on the journey of discovering why we don't talk about certain things, why we don't talk, period, why we don't expose what we're going through, and why we don't share what we've been through. How did we reach this point in our culture that there is no village, that there is not a space where we can hold one another and hear each other's stories?
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1525460/podcast-art.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:47:03</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Desiderata - The Things Most Wanted or Needed]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Jul 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1521541</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/desiderata-the-things-most-wanted-or-needed</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>The word and the topic of this week's episode are <em>desiderata</em>, a plural noun with a singular form. Desideratum means things wanted or needed.<br /><br />Desiderata is a famous poem written by an American poet, and lawyer Max Ehrmann in 1927.<br />There's such an immediacy to this poem even though it was written back in the 1920s. Even though it was written hundred years ago, it still feels fresh and it is what we all need to hear RIGHT NOW.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;">website:</span></span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/<br />AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY!</span></span> And if you are able, please donate (what you can) by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The word and the topic of this week's episode are desiderata, a plural noun with a singular form. Desideratum means things wanted or needed.Desiderata is a famous poem written by an American poet, and lawyer Max Ehrmann in 1927.There's such an immediacy to this poem even though it was written back in the 1920s. Even though it was written hundred years ago, it still feels fresh and it is what we all need to hear RIGHT NOW.
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate (what you can) by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Desiderata - The Things Most Wanted or Needed]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>The word and the topic of this week's episode are <em>desiderata</em>, a plural noun with a singular form. Desideratum means things wanted or needed.<br /><br />Desiderata is a famous poem written by an American poet, and lawyer Max Ehrmann in 1927.<br />There's such an immediacy to this poem even though it was written back in the 1920s. Even though it was written hundred years ago, it still feels fresh and it is what we all need to hear RIGHT NOW.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our</span></span><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;">website:</span></span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-size:medium;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/<br />AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY!</span></span> And if you are able, please donate (what you can) by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1521541/Desiderata.mp3" length="32660822"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The word and the topic of this week's episode are desiderata, a plural noun with a singular form. Desideratum means things wanted or needed.Desiderata is a famous poem written by an American poet, and lawyer Max Ehrmann in 1927.There's such an immediacy to this poem even though it was written back in the 1920s. Even though it was written hundred years ago, it still feels fresh and it is what we all need to hear RIGHT NOW.
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! And if you are able, please donate (what you can) by buying us a cup of coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1521541/Desderata.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:34:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Don't Take the Bait! - Seven Strategies for Tough Situations with Friends, Family, and People in General]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Jul 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1518102</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/dont-take-the-bait-seven-strategies-for-tough-situations-with-friends-family-and-people-in-general</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Don't take the bait. What bait is and how to handle bait is our topic for this week.<br /><br /><br /> Fawn shares advice from her wonderful friend Kathy and finds more information along the same subject from an article written by Lauren Sanders “ Don't Take the Bait. Seven Strategies for Dealing With Toxic People.”</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#55595c;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our</span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span>website:<strong>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/<br /><span style="color:#55595c;">AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY!</span> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Don't take the bait. What bait is and how to handle bait is our topic for this week. Fawn shares advice from her wonderful friend Kathy and finds more information along the same subject from an article written by Lauren Sanders “ Don't Take the Bait. Seven Strategies for Dealing With Toxic People.”
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Don't Take the Bait! - Seven Strategies for Tough Situations with Friends, Family, and People in General]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Don't take the bait. What bait is and how to handle bait is our topic for this week.<br /><br /><br /> Fawn shares advice from her wonderful friend Kathy and finds more information along the same subject from an article written by Lauren Sanders “ Don't Take the Bait. Seven Strategies for Dealing With Toxic People.”</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#55595c;">Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our</span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span>website:<strong>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/<br /><span style="color:#55595c;">AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY!</span> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1518102/Do-Not-Take-the-Bait-full-episode-.mp3" length="47227854"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Don't take the bait. What bait is and how to handle bait is our topic for this week. Fawn shares advice from her wonderful friend Kathy and finds more information along the same subject from an article written by Lauren Sanders “ Don't Take the Bait. Seven Strategies for Dealing With Toxic People.”
Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY! ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1518102/podcast-art.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:49:11</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Changing Our Narratives for A kinder, Friendlier World with Dr. Cathia Walters]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Jul 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1513126</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/changing-our-narratives-for-a-kinder-friendlier-world-with-dr-cathia-walters</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Truth is relative and it's based on our experience. The story we tell ourselves is based on what is happening. We all have a history. We have our family of origins, there's the family interjects, what we learn from those around us, including society, etc. Dr Cathia Walters walks us through schemas (the way we frame the world based on core beliefs) and how to shift our narrative. This is how life feels better and our relationships improve. LOVE THESE SESSIONS with our Dr. C!!!!!!!</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#ChangingOurNarratives, #DrCathiaWalters, #Phsychology, #TransformingOurStories, #ChangingOurStories, #Schemas</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:<br /></strong></span></span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/</strong></span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong><br /></strong></span></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup</strong></span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong><br /></strong></span></span><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>https://www.linkedin.com</strong></span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong><br /> <br />Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. <br />Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.<br />Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.<br />As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or </span></span><a href="http://ourfriendlyworld.com/"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">Ourfriendlyworld.com</span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advic...</span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Truth is relative and it's based on our experience. The story we tell ourselves is based on what is happening. We all have a history. We have our family of origins, there's the family interjects, what we learn from those around us, including society, etc. Dr Cathia Walters walks us through schemas (the way we frame the world based on core beliefs) and how to shift our narrative. This is how life feels better and our relationships improve. LOVE THESE SESSIONS with our Dr. C!!!!!!!
#ChangingOurNarratives, #DrCathiaWalters, #Phsychology, #TransformingOurStories, #ChangingOurStories, #Schemas
Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGrouphttps://www.linkedin.com Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.

DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advic...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Changing Our Narratives for A kinder, Friendlier World with Dr. Cathia Walters]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Truth is relative and it's based on our experience. The story we tell ourselves is based on what is happening. We all have a history. We have our family of origins, there's the family interjects, what we learn from those around us, including society, etc. Dr Cathia Walters walks us through schemas (the way we frame the world based on core beliefs) and how to shift our narrative. This is how life feels better and our relationships improve. LOVE THESE SESSIONS with our Dr. C!!!!!!!</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#ChangingOurNarratives, #DrCathiaWalters, #Phsychology, #TransformingOurStories, #ChangingOurStories, #Schemas</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:<br /></strong></span></span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/</strong></span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong><br /></strong></span></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup</strong></span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong><br /></strong></span></span><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>https://www.linkedin.com</strong></span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><strong><br /> <br />Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. <br />Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.<br />Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.<br />As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or </span></span><a href="http://ourfriendlyworld.com/"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">Ourfriendlyworld.com</span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;">] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</span></span> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1513126/Changing-Our-Narratives-for-Better-Relationships-and-Better-Lives.mp3" length="60201686"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Truth is relative and it's based on our experience. The story we tell ourselves is based on what is happening. We all have a history. We have our family of origins, there's the family interjects, what we learn from those around us, including society, etc. Dr Cathia Walters walks us through schemas (the way we frame the world based on core beliefs) and how to shift our narrative. This is how life feels better and our relationships improve. LOVE THESE SESSIONS with our Dr. C!!!!!!!
#ChangingOurNarratives, #DrCathiaWalters, #Phsychology, #TransformingOurStories, #ChangingOurStories, #Schemas
Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGrouphttps://www.linkedin.com Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.

DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advic...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1513126/Changing-Our-Narratives.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:02:42</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Don't Worry, Be Happy - A How-To Guide on Friendship and Wellbeing]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 03 Jul 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1509514</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/dont-worry-be-happy-a-how-to-guide-on-friendship-and-wellbeing</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>For today's topic, we wanted to pass along something to you that was passed onto us; something wise from the mentor, the original mentor of friendship, Santa Monica. <br /><br /> We have found that one of those humongous things that hurt people is that at some point they forget how to play. And you know what? Playing is creativity. It's experimentation, it's screwing up, it's finding something awesome in the middle of chaos. It's a brave thing to do (to play) also because you're using your imagination. You're laughing in the face of fear. You're laughing in the face of some major constraints in front of you and you're basically saying, haha, I'm going to defy gravity. But that also gets us back to the whole topic today: worrying. </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This topic is twofold. One is worrying, but one is also what we do for each other as friends. We get into the etymology of worry (you will not believe the original meaning of this word!!!!).<br /><br /> Our point is that together, one by one, create what we do want, create a sense of security, and create security period! We can help each other out, and create our own utopias! it's very much possible in an instant. Because we're not alone. We're here together and we are all talented in so many ways. And when we pull our friendship together, meaning we pull our resources together, we have a beautiful society.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>So, don't worry, be happy. Because you have a friend in me. Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY!</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[For today's topic, we wanted to pass along something to you that was passed onto us; something wise from the mentor, the original mentor of friendship, Santa Monica.  We have found that one of those humongous things that hurt people is that at some point they forget how to play. And you know what? Playing is creativity. It's experimentation, it's screwing up, it's finding something awesome in the middle of chaos. It's a brave thing to do (to play) also because you're using your imagination. You're laughing in the face of fear. You're laughing in the face of some major constraints in front of you and you're basically saying, haha, I'm going to defy gravity. But that also gets us back to the whole topic today: worrying. 
This topic is twofold. One is worrying, but one is also what we do for each other as friends. We get into the etymology of worry (you will not believe the original meaning of this word!!!!). Our point is that together, one by one, create what we do want, create a sense of security, and create security period! We can help each other out, and create our own utopias! it's very much possible in an instant. Because we're not alone. We're here together and we are all talented in so many ways. And when we pull our friendship together, meaning we pull our resources together, we have a beautiful society.
So, don't worry, be happy. Because you have a friend in me. Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY!]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Don't Worry, Be Happy - A How-To Guide on Friendship and Wellbeing]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>For today's topic, we wanted to pass along something to you that was passed onto us; something wise from the mentor, the original mentor of friendship, Santa Monica. <br /><br /> We have found that one of those humongous things that hurt people is that at some point they forget how to play. And you know what? Playing is creativity. It's experimentation, it's screwing up, it's finding something awesome in the middle of chaos. It's a brave thing to do (to play) also because you're using your imagination. You're laughing in the face of fear. You're laughing in the face of some major constraints in front of you and you're basically saying, haha, I'm going to defy gravity. But that also gets us back to the whole topic today: worrying. </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This topic is twofold. One is worrying, but one is also what we do for each other as friends. We get into the etymology of worry (you will not believe the original meaning of this word!!!!).<br /><br /> Our point is that together, one by one, create what we do want, create a sense of security, and create security period! We can help each other out, and create our own utopias! it's very much possible in an instant. Because we're not alone. We're here together and we are all talented in so many ways. And when we pull our friendship together, meaning we pull our resources together, we have a beautiful society.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>So, don't worry, be happy. Because you have a friend in me. Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY!</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1509514/Don-t-Worry-Be-Happy-A-How-To-Guide-with-the-Art-of-Friendship.mp3" length="21166166"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[For today's topic, we wanted to pass along something to you that was passed onto us; something wise from the mentor, the original mentor of friendship, Santa Monica.  We have found that one of those humongous things that hurt people is that at some point they forget how to play. And you know what? Playing is creativity. It's experimentation, it's screwing up, it's finding something awesome in the middle of chaos. It's a brave thing to do (to play) also because you're using your imagination. You're laughing in the face of fear. You're laughing in the face of some major constraints in front of you and you're basically saying, haha, I'm going to defy gravity. But that also gets us back to the whole topic today: worrying. 
This topic is twofold. One is worrying, but one is also what we do for each other as friends. We get into the etymology of worry (you will not believe the original meaning of this word!!!!). Our point is that together, one by one, create what we do want, create a sense of security, and create security period! We can help each other out, and create our own utopias! it's very much possible in an instant. Because we're not alone. We're here together and we are all talented in so many ways. And when we pull our friendship together, meaning we pull our resources together, we have a beautiful society.
So, don't worry, be happy. Because you have a friend in me. Please tell everyone you can about our efforts in bringing back the art of friendship and transforming our society for the better. Click the subscribe button on our website:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
AND...Have a BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY!]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1509514/Don-t-Worry-Be-Happy.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:22:02</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Why We Yell at Each Other and The Art of the Empty Jacket]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Jun 2023 02:17:15 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1505858</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/why-we-yell-at-each-other-and-the-art-of-the-empty-jacket</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>When we're talking or when we're not talking, why do we yell at each other? What is the point of yelling? What does it really mean when we resort to yelling? Why do we yell when we're upset and what is really behind it all? This is what we explore this week as well as the art of the empty jacket.<br />#Aikido, #Judo</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making </span></span></span><a href="http://friendshttps//www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">friendshttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL</span></span></a><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span><strong> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or </span></span></span><a href="http://ourfriendlyworld.com/"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Ourfriendlyworld.com</span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</span></span></span> </span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[When we're talking or when we're not talking, why do we yell at each other? What is the point of yelling? What does it really mean when we resort to yelling? Why do we yell when we're upset and what is really behind it all? This is what we explore this week as well as the art of the empty jacket.#Aikido, #Judo
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friendshttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS 
DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions. ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Why We Yell at Each Other and The Art of the Empty Jacket]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>When we're talking or when we're not talking, why do we yell at each other? What is the point of yelling? What does it really mean when we resort to yelling? Why do we yell when we're upset and what is really behind it all? This is what we explore this week as well as the art of the empty jacket.<br />#Aikido, #Judo</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making </span></span></span><a href="http://friendshttps//www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">friendshttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL</span></span></a><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span><strong> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or </span></span></span><a href="http://ourfriendlyworld.com/"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">Ourfriendlyworld.com</span></span></a><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;">] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</span></span></span> </span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1505858/Why-We-Yell-at-Each-Other-and-The-Art-of-the-Empty-Jacket.mp3" length="20817878"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[When we're talking or when we're not talking, why do we yell at each other? What is the point of yelling? What does it really mean when we resort to yelling? Why do we yell when we're upset and what is really behind it all? This is what we explore this week as well as the art of the empty jacket.#Aikido, #Judo
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friendshttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS 
DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions. ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1505858/Our-Friendly-World-with-Fawn-and-Matt-episode-on-The-Art-of-the-Empty-Jacket.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:41</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Radical Acceptance for Friendships, Careers, and Life with Dr. Cathia Walters]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Jun 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1498596</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/radical-acceptance-for-friendships-careers-and-life-with-dr-cathia-walters</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> Dr. Walters is back to teach us about Radical Acceptance - </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>how does it play into our life choices, finances, career, and relationships? </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> We discuss </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>how to separate our thoughts from our feelings, how to cultivate self-worth, how to deal with rejection, and soooooooo much more!</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br />Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:</strong></span></span></p>
<p>https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/</p>
<p>https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup</p>
<p>https://www.linkedin.com</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. </span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.</span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#131313;"><span style="font-family:Roboto, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ Dr. Walters is back to teach us about Radical Acceptance - how does it play into our life choices, finances, career, and relationships?  We discuss how to separate our thoughts from our feelings, how to cultivate self-worth, how to deal with rejection, and soooooooo much more!Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:
https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/
https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup
https://www.linkedin.com
 
Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. 
Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.
Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.
As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.
 
DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Radical Acceptance for Friendships, Careers, and Life with Dr. Cathia Walters]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> Dr. Walters is back to teach us about Radical Acceptance - </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>how does it play into our life choices, finances, career, and relationships? </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> We discuss </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>how to separate our thoughts from our feelings, how to cultivate self-worth, how to deal with rejection, and soooooooo much more!</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br />Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:</strong></span></span></p>
<p>https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/</p>
<p>https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup</p>
<p>https://www.linkedin.com</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. </span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.</span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#131313;"><span style="font-family:Roboto, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</span></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1498596/Radical-Acceptance-with-Dr-Walters.mp3" length="50796399"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ Dr. Walters is back to teach us about Radical Acceptance - how does it play into our life choices, finances, career, and relationships?  We discuss how to separate our thoughts from our feelings, how to cultivate self-worth, how to deal with rejection, and soooooooo much more!Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:
https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/
https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup
https://www.linkedin.com
 
Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. 
Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.
Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.
As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.
 
DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1498596/Radical-Acceptance.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:52:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Tao Te Ching of Friendship  Finding the exceptional in the seemingly unexceptional]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Jun 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1493519</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/tao-te-ching-of-friendship-finding-the-exceptional-in-the-seemingly-unexceptional</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>The simple things are the most profound - things that go unnoticed. To notice the spectacular takes a special eye, a special awareness, a special sense of wisdom and appreciation. Someone who has the ability to spot something that's a diamond that may not be polished at Tiffany's who says Wow! Look at that spectacular jewel. Let's be the people who can see the extraordinary in the ordinary. And that goes in finding friendships. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><br />Thank you to the people who are so wildly perceptive that they can recognize in you the magic that you are. That we are. Thank you. You are the best friends.<br /><br />And thank you to all the people who we come across who remind us of this stuff.<br /><br /><br />#HankWessel, #GeorgiaO'Keefe, #F.ScottFitzgerald, #TaoTeChingOfFriendship, ParentsTaoTeChing, #TheMarvelousMrsMaisel, #signsthathelpus</span></p>
<p>Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br />CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The simple things are the most profound - things that go unnoticed. To notice the spectacular takes a special eye, a special awareness, a special sense of wisdom and appreciation. Someone who has the ability to spot something that's a diamond that may not be polished at Tiffany's who says Wow! Look at that spectacular jewel. Let's be the people who can see the extraordinary in the ordinary. And that goes in finding friendships. 
Thank you to the people who are so wildly perceptive that they can recognize in you the magic that you are. That we are. Thank you. You are the best friends.And thank you to all the people who we come across who remind us of this stuff.#HankWessel, #GeorgiaO'Keefe, #F.ScottFitzgerald, #TaoTeChingOfFriendship, ParentsTaoTeChing, #TheMarvelousMrsMaisel, #signsthathelpus
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friendshttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Tao Te Ching of Friendship  Finding the exceptional in the seemingly unexceptional]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>The simple things are the most profound - things that go unnoticed. To notice the spectacular takes a special eye, a special awareness, a special sense of wisdom and appreciation. Someone who has the ability to spot something that's a diamond that may not be polished at Tiffany's who says Wow! Look at that spectacular jewel. Let's be the people who can see the extraordinary in the ordinary. And that goes in finding friendships. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><br />Thank you to the people who are so wildly perceptive that they can recognize in you the magic that you are. That we are. Thank you. You are the best friends.<br /><br />And thank you to all the people who we come across who remind us of this stuff.<br /><br /><br />#HankWessel, #GeorgiaO'Keefe, #F.ScottFitzgerald, #TaoTeChingOfFriendship, ParentsTaoTeChing, #TheMarvelousMrsMaisel, #signsthathelpus</span></p>
<p>Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br />CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1493519/Tao-Te-Ching-of-Friendship-Full-Episode.mp3" length="20180852"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The simple things are the most profound - things that go unnoticed. To notice the spectacular takes a special eye, a special awareness, a special sense of wisdom and appreciation. Someone who has the ability to spot something that's a diamond that may not be polished at Tiffany's who says Wow! Look at that spectacular jewel. Let's be the people who can see the extraordinary in the ordinary. And that goes in finding friendships. 
Thank you to the people who are so wildly perceptive that they can recognize in you the magic that you are. That we are. Thank you. You are the best friends.And thank you to all the people who we come across who remind us of this stuff.#HankWessel, #GeorgiaO'Keefe, #F.ScottFitzgerald, #TaoTeChingOfFriendship, ParentsTaoTeChing, #TheMarvelousMrsMaisel, #signsthathelpus
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friendshttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1493519/Tao-Te-Ching-of-Friendship.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[ þetta reddast of Friendship - It Will All Work Itself Out]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Jun 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1490246</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/thetta-reddast-it-will-all-work-itself-out</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">There are messages everywhere you guys! It's funny how messages will come to you. They come in the wildest ways and they come just right when you need them. So the message today is, don't worry, it's going to be okay. It will all work out okay. This week, we get the message from a few sources and one of them is from our friends in Iceland. No matter how big the problem, no matter how big the problem a solution, a solution will always present itself. It will fix itself.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS<br /></span></strong></span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">#BobbyMcFaren, #Yo-YoMa, #MichaelSandlerInspireNation, #Iceland, #Icelandicphrase</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong> “þetta reddast” - Saying of Iceland (Icland's Motto to Live By) TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[There are messages everywhere you guys! It's funny how messages will come to you. They come in the wildest ways and they come just right when you need them. So the message today is, don't worry, it's going to be okay. It will all work out okay. This week, we get the message from a few sources and one of them is from our friends in Iceland. No matter how big the problem, no matter how big the problem a solution, a solution will always present itself. It will fix itself.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS#BobbyMcFaren, #Yo-YoMa, #MichaelSandlerInspireNation, #Iceland, #Icelandicphrase
 “þetta reddast” - Saying of Iceland (Icland's Motto to Live By) TRANSCRIPT]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[ þetta reddast of Friendship - It Will All Work Itself Out]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">There are messages everywhere you guys! It's funny how messages will come to you. They come in the wildest ways and they come just right when you need them. So the message today is, don't worry, it's going to be okay. It will all work out okay. This week, we get the message from a few sources and one of them is from our friends in Iceland. No matter how big the problem, no matter how big the problem a solution, a solution will always present itself. It will fix itself.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS<br /></span></strong></span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">#BobbyMcFaren, #Yo-YoMa, #MichaelSandlerInspireNation, #Iceland, #Icelandicphrase</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong> “þetta reddast” - Saying of Iceland (Icland's Motto to Live By) TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1490246/Message-From-Iceland-etta-reddast-Everything-Will-Work-Itself-Out.mp3" length="14935766"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[There are messages everywhere you guys! It's funny how messages will come to you. They come in the wildest ways and they come just right when you need them. So the message today is, don't worry, it's going to be okay. It will all work out okay. This week, we get the message from a few sources and one of them is from our friends in Iceland. No matter how big the problem, no matter how big the problem a solution, a solution will always present itself. It will fix itself.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS#BobbyMcFaren, #Yo-YoMa, #MichaelSandlerInspireNation, #Iceland, #Icelandicphrase
 “þetta reddast” - Saying of Iceland (Icland's Motto to Live By) TRANSCRIPT]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1490246/-etta-reddast-.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:15:33</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Argue Well in A Friendship - and Still Keep the Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 28 May 2023 13:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1486506</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-argue-well-in-a-friendship-and-still-keep-the-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Step-by-step guide on how to argue well in a friendship, to keep the friendship alive - and also how the turning point comes to be a deal breaker and ends the friendship.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Thank you to our BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED friend, Michelle Sillence (an awesome Voice Actor) who brought up this very important topic.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends</span></span></span><strong><br /></strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span></a><strong><br /></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span><strong> <br /><br />#HowToKnowIfAFriendshipIsHopeless, #respect, #Apologia.<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Step-by-step guide on how to argue well in a friendship, to keep the friendship alive - and also how the turning point comes to be a deal breaker and ends the friendship.
Thank you to our BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED friend, Michelle Sillence (an awesome Voice Actor) who brought up this very important topic.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friendshttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS #HowToKnowIfAFriendshipIsHopeless, #respect, #Apologia.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Argue Well in A Friendship - and Still Keep the Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Step-by-step guide on how to argue well in a friendship, to keep the friendship alive - and also how the turning point comes to be a deal breaker and ends the friendship.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Thank you to our BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED friend, Michelle Sillence (an awesome Voice Actor) who brought up this very important topic.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends</span></span></span><strong><br /></strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span></a><strong><br /></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span><strong> <br /><br />#HowToKnowIfAFriendshipIsHopeless, #respect, #Apologia.<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1486506/Episode-144-How-to-Argue-Well-in-a-Friendship-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="33432223"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Step-by-step guide on how to argue well in a friendship, to keep the friendship alive - and also how the turning point comes to be a deal breaker and ends the friendship.
Thank you to our BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED friend, Michelle Sillence (an awesome Voice Actor) who brought up this very important topic.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friendshttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS #HowToKnowIfAFriendshipIsHopeless, #respect, #Apologia.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1486506/c1a-8j1v-qd1n0359u7wx-gepwyo.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:34:49</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Away with the Hard Times! We're Done with YOU!]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 21 May 2023 18:11:34 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1482991</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/away-with-the-hard-times-were-done-with-you</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>If I can reiterate the whole reason why we're here, it is to prove, to show, that we are not alone. You are not alone. Sometimes life is an absurdity, that's when you cross over into the realm of absurdity, and all you can do is just laugh at it and that's it. Sometimes everything can suck, BUT it won't always suck. YOU CAN MOVE THROUGH IT! The “sucky” times wil not last!</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Things will get better.<br /></strong></span></span></p>
<p>Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends</p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p align="left">CALL<strong> </strong>TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</p>
<p align="left"> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[If I can reiterate the whole reason why we're here, it is to prove, to show, that we are not alone. You are not alone. Sometimes life is an absurdity, that's when you cross over into the realm of absurdity, and all you can do is just laugh at it and that's it. Sometimes everything can suck, BUT it won't always suck. YOU CAN MOVE THROUGH IT! The “sucky” times wil not last!
Things will get better.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Away with the Hard Times! We're Done with YOU!]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>If I can reiterate the whole reason why we're here, it is to prove, to show, that we are not alone. You are not alone. Sometimes life is an absurdity, that's when you cross over into the realm of absurdity, and all you can do is just laugh at it and that's it. Sometimes everything can suck, BUT it won't always suck. YOU CAN MOVE THROUGH IT! The “sucky” times wil not last!</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Things will get better.<br /></strong></span></span></p>
<p>Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends</p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p align="left">CALL<strong> </strong>TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</p>
<p align="left"> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1482991/Episode-143-Away-with-the-Tough-Times.mp3" length="20108102"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[If I can reiterate the whole reason why we're here, it is to prove, to show, that we are not alone. You are not alone. Sometimes life is an absurdity, that's when you cross over into the realm of absurdity, and all you can do is just laugh at it and that's it. Sometimes everything can suck, BUT it won't always suck. YOU CAN MOVE THROUGH IT! The “sucky” times wil not last!
Things will get better.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1482991/Keep-Going.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:20:56</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Moving Through Trauma, with Dr. Cathia Walters]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 May 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1477085</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/moving-through-trauma-with-dr-cathia-walters</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     Today we welcome our most honored guest, Dr. Cathia Walters who shows us how we see ourselves, how we see others, how we see the world, what makes something traumatic, how to have self-compassion, how trauma shows up in our lives, how trauma shows up in society, and how to navigate through it all.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     What is trauma anyway? How can our various traumas be breaking or making our relationships with ourselves, with the people in our lives, and with the world around us? </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br />     You will love your new friend, Dr. C, and will feel the beauty and calm of her teachings. We love this episode.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br /> #TraumaticExperiences, #SelfCompassion, #Acceptance #compassion, #PaulGilbert, #BigT, #LittleT, #TheArtOfSelfLove, #triad, #RelationshipsBeginWithYou.<br /><br /><br />Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:</strong></span></span></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">Instagram</span></a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">Facebook</span></a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/company/walters-wellness-group/?viewAsMember=true" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">LinkedIn</span></a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.walterswellnessgroup.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">Website</span></a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/cathia-walters-pinole-ca/213933" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">Psychology Today Profile</span></a></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. </span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#131313;"><span style="font-family:Roboto, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[     Today we welcome our most honored guest, Dr. Cathia Walters who shows us how we see ourselves, how we see others, how we see the world, what makes something traumatic, how to have self-compassion, how trauma shows up in our lives, how trauma shows up in society, and how to navigate through it all.
     What is trauma anyway? How can our various traumas be breaking or making our relationships with ourselves, with the people in our lives, and with the world around us? 
     You will love your new friend, Dr. C, and will feel the beauty and calm of her teachings. We love this episode.
 #TraumaticExperiences, #SelfCompassion, #Acceptance #compassion, #PaulGilbert, #BigT, #LittleT, #TheArtOfSelfLove, #triad, #RelationshipsBeginWithYou.Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:


Instagram


Facebook


LinkedIn


Website


Psychology Today Profile



Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. 
Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.
Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.
As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Moving Through Trauma, with Dr. Cathia Walters]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     Today we welcome our most honored guest, Dr. Cathia Walters who shows us how we see ourselves, how we see others, how we see the world, what makes something traumatic, how to have self-compassion, how trauma shows up in our lives, how trauma shows up in society, and how to navigate through it all.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     What is trauma anyway? How can our various traumas be breaking or making our relationships with ourselves, with the people in our lives, and with the world around us? </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br />     You will love your new friend, Dr. C, and will feel the beauty and calm of her teachings. We love this episode.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br /> #TraumaticExperiences, #SelfCompassion, #Acceptance #compassion, #PaulGilbert, #BigT, #LittleT, #TheArtOfSelfLove, #triad, #RelationshipsBeginWithYou.<br /><br /><br />Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:</strong></span></span></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/walterswellnessgroup_/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">Instagram</span></a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/WaltersWellnessGroup" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">Facebook</span></a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/company/walters-wellness-group/?viewAsMember=true" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">LinkedIn</span></a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.walterswellnessgroup.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">Website</span></a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/cathia-walters-pinole-ca/213933" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><span style="color:#1155cc;">Psychology Today Profile</span></a></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. </span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#131313;"><span style="font-family:Roboto, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content [published or distributed by or on behalf of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or Ourfriendlyworld.com] is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions expressed or contained herein are not intended to serve as or replace medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe or treat any disease, condition, illness or injury, and you should consult the health care professional of your choice regarding all matters concerning your health, including before beginning any exercise, weight loss, or health care program. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company’s Podcast are their own; not those of Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson or the Company. Accordingly, Fawn Anderson and Matthew Anderson and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions.</span></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1477085/Episode-142-Healing-Trauma-with-Dr-Walters-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="64859409"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[     Today we welcome our most honored guest, Dr. Cathia Walters who shows us how we see ourselves, how we see others, how we see the world, what makes something traumatic, how to have self-compassion, how trauma shows up in our lives, how trauma shows up in society, and how to navigate through it all.
     What is trauma anyway? How can our various traumas be breaking or making our relationships with ourselves, with the people in our lives, and with the world around us? 
     You will love your new friend, Dr. C, and will feel the beauty and calm of her teachings. We love this episode.
 #TraumaticExperiences, #SelfCompassion, #Acceptance #compassion, #PaulGilbert, #BigT, #LittleT, #TheArtOfSelfLove, #triad, #RelationshipsBeginWithYou.Socials and Web for Walters Wellness Group / Dr. Cathia Walters:


Instagram


Facebook


LinkedIn


Website


Psychology Today Profile



Dr. Cathia Walters (Dr. C) is an educator, psychologist, relationship coach, and the founder of the Walters Wellness Group in California's San Francisco Bay area. 
Through the Walters Wellness Group, Dr. C provides support groups,  courses (online and in-person), workshops and community events on a variety of healing-related topics. Her courses like Managing Life Challenges course, Black Women's Support Group, and Healing Trauma program have served hundreds of individuals in healing and personal growth. Dr. C's work focuses on compassion in healing and incorporates movement into the healing journey.
Dr. C designs and hosts annual retreats for Black women in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, a biannual retreat for Black couples in Lake Tahoe, California, and a retreat for managing trauma in Costa Rica. Dr. C also provides training and hosts webinars and workshops on a variety of healing and health-related topics for companies and organizations.
As a Black woman, Dr. Walters considers self-care a radical act that begins with the relationship one forms with oneself.
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1477085/Heal-From-Trauma-with-Dr-Cathia-Walters.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:07:33</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Unleashing and Untethering Self-Identity within Friendships/Relationships for Survival]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 May 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1473727</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/unleashing-and-untethering-self-identity-within-friendshipsrelationships-for-survival</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br /> As life happens, everybody fights, everybody argues everybody has a bad day. It's like people don't allow each other to flex and expand and contract. Oftentimes we get so focused and like we draw so much strength from things we've done in the past that have made sense for us that we can't conceive of a world where that doesn't make sense anymore.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>When you have misunderstandings, people misunderstand and they think it's the end of the friendship or the end of the relationship, but in reality, there's so much to unpack because everybody is experiencing their own life, their own interpretation of things, their own stresses, <br />and everybody looks circumstances through the lens of their own past experiences. It's like you're not allowed to have three dimensions. You're only allowed to have two. And then some cases, one dimension.<br /><br /> You have to be flexible. You have to go with the flow. It's the only way to thrive. Neither one of us can say anything with certainty's. That's the fun part. That's the challenging part, that's the wonder of it. That's life.<br /><br /> It's a good idea to be strong in your convictions and beliefs but only to the point where if they start getting challenged, you need to really take a good hard look and figure out whether or not it makes sense or doesn't make sense.<br /> <br /> We see this within famalies, where people don't want to hear or look at the change, they won't accept it. They don't, they don't accept you because you are not their way; how parents don't want to understand their children because they're doing things in a way that's not done, that they didn't do it “right”. When things aren't done their way, when thoughts and ideas don't match their way, it threatens their self-identity. And that's where the friction comes in. That's where the separation comes in. That's why, families don't get along. I mean, HELLO, politics anyone in the United States?!<br /><br /> How can we deal with this? I think we really need to back to the self-identity thing, number one, should we just examine, Hey, is my identity wrapped up in this? Maybe it shouldn't be.<br />Think of different ways where we're so tied. We're so leashed and tethered to self-identity that we refuse to grow because we just need to hold on to something. <br /><br /> Sometimes you have to have the mindset of I'm ready to head out on the highway for them to start to listen to you. Sometimes people only come to recognition that things aren't the way they perceive it.<br /><br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#ChangeAndAdapt, #transform, #BlockbusterVideo, #Netflix, #Redbox, #RedboxKiosk, #9/11, #SantaMonica, #Self-Identity, #PeopleThatDon'tLikeChange, #theUntetheredIdentity</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">friends</span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span></a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">CALL</span></span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ As life happens, everybody fights, everybody argues everybody has a bad day. It's like people don't allow each other to flex and expand and contract. Oftentimes we get so focused and like we draw so much strength from things we've done in the past that have made sense for us that we can't conceive of a world where that doesn't make sense anymore.
When you have misunderstandings, people misunderstand and they think it's the end of the friendship or the end of the relationship, but in reality, there's so much to unpack because everybody is experiencing their own life, their own interpretation of things, their own stresses, and everybody looks circumstances through the lens of their own past experiences. It's like you're not allowed to have three dimensions. You're only allowed to have two. And then some cases, one dimension. You have to be flexible. You have to go with the flow. It's the only way to thrive. Neither one of us can say anything with certainty's. That's the fun part. That's the challenging part, that's the wonder of it. That's life. It's a good idea to be strong in your convictions and beliefs but only to the point where if they start getting challenged, you need to really take a good hard look and figure out whether or not it makes sense or doesn't make sense.  We see this within famalies, where people don't want to hear or look at the change, they won't accept it. They don't, they don't accept you because you are not their way; how parents don't want to understand their children because they're doing things in a way that's not done, that they didn't do it “right”. When things aren't done their way, when thoughts and ideas don't match their way, it threatens their self-identity. And that's where the friction comes in. That's where the separation comes in. That's why, families don't get along. I mean, HELLO, politics anyone in the United States?! How can we deal with this? I think we really need to back to the self-identity thing, number one, should we just examine, Hey, is my identity wrapped up in this? Maybe it shouldn't be.Think of different ways where we're so tied. We're so leashed and tethered to self-identity that we refuse to grow because we just need to hold on to something.  Sometimes you have to have the mindset of I'm ready to head out on the highway for them to start to listen to you. Sometimes people only come to recognition that things aren't the way they perceive it.
#ChangeAndAdapt, #transform, #BlockbusterVideo, #Netflix, #Redbox, #RedboxKiosk, #9/11, #SantaMonica, #Self-Identity, #PeopleThatDon'tLikeChange, #theUntetheredIdentity
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Unleashing and Untethering Self-Identity within Friendships/Relationships for Survival]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br /> As life happens, everybody fights, everybody argues everybody has a bad day. It's like people don't allow each other to flex and expand and contract. Oftentimes we get so focused and like we draw so much strength from things we've done in the past that have made sense for us that we can't conceive of a world where that doesn't make sense anymore.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>When you have misunderstandings, people misunderstand and they think it's the end of the friendship or the end of the relationship, but in reality, there's so much to unpack because everybody is experiencing their own life, their own interpretation of things, their own stresses, <br />and everybody looks circumstances through the lens of their own past experiences. It's like you're not allowed to have three dimensions. You're only allowed to have two. And then some cases, one dimension.<br /><br /> You have to be flexible. You have to go with the flow. It's the only way to thrive. Neither one of us can say anything with certainty's. That's the fun part. That's the challenging part, that's the wonder of it. That's life.<br /><br /> It's a good idea to be strong in your convictions and beliefs but only to the point where if they start getting challenged, you need to really take a good hard look and figure out whether or not it makes sense or doesn't make sense.<br /> <br /> We see this within famalies, where people don't want to hear or look at the change, they won't accept it. They don't, they don't accept you because you are not their way; how parents don't want to understand their children because they're doing things in a way that's not done, that they didn't do it “right”. When things aren't done their way, when thoughts and ideas don't match their way, it threatens their self-identity. And that's where the friction comes in. That's where the separation comes in. That's why, families don't get along. I mean, HELLO, politics anyone in the United States?!<br /><br /> How can we deal with this? I think we really need to back to the self-identity thing, number one, should we just examine, Hey, is my identity wrapped up in this? Maybe it shouldn't be.<br />Think of different ways where we're so tied. We're so leashed and tethered to self-identity that we refuse to grow because we just need to hold on to something. <br /><br /> Sometimes you have to have the mindset of I'm ready to head out on the highway for them to start to listen to you. Sometimes people only come to recognition that things aren't the way they perceive it.<br /><br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#ChangeAndAdapt, #transform, #BlockbusterVideo, #Netflix, #Redbox, #RedboxKiosk, #9/11, #SantaMonica, #Self-Identity, #PeopleThatDon'tLikeChange, #theUntetheredIdentity</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">friends</span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span></a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">CALL</span></span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><br /><br /><br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1473727/Unleashing-and-Untethering-Self-Identity-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="37068050"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ As life happens, everybody fights, everybody argues everybody has a bad day. It's like people don't allow each other to flex and expand and contract. Oftentimes we get so focused and like we draw so much strength from things we've done in the past that have made sense for us that we can't conceive of a world where that doesn't make sense anymore.
When you have misunderstandings, people misunderstand and they think it's the end of the friendship or the end of the relationship, but in reality, there's so much to unpack because everybody is experiencing their own life, their own interpretation of things, their own stresses, and everybody looks circumstances through the lens of their own past experiences. It's like you're not allowed to have three dimensions. You're only allowed to have two. And then some cases, one dimension. You have to be flexible. You have to go with the flow. It's the only way to thrive. Neither one of us can say anything with certainty's. That's the fun part. That's the challenging part, that's the wonder of it. That's life. It's a good idea to be strong in your convictions and beliefs but only to the point where if they start getting challenged, you need to really take a good hard look and figure out whether or not it makes sense or doesn't make sense.  We see this within famalies, where people don't want to hear or look at the change, they won't accept it. They don't, they don't accept you because you are not their way; how parents don't want to understand their children because they're doing things in a way that's not done, that they didn't do it “right”. When things aren't done their way, when thoughts and ideas don't match their way, it threatens their self-identity. And that's where the friction comes in. That's where the separation comes in. That's why, families don't get along. I mean, HELLO, politics anyone in the United States?! How can we deal with this? I think we really need to back to the self-identity thing, number one, should we just examine, Hey, is my identity wrapped up in this? Maybe it shouldn't be.Think of different ways where we're so tied. We're so leashed and tethered to self-identity that we refuse to grow because we just need to hold on to something.  Sometimes you have to have the mindset of I'm ready to head out on the highway for them to start to listen to you. Sometimes people only come to recognition that things aren't the way they perceive it.
#ChangeAndAdapt, #transform, #BlockbusterVideo, #Netflix, #Redbox, #RedboxKiosk, #9/11, #SantaMonica, #Self-Identity, #PeopleThatDon'tLikeChange, #theUntetheredIdentity
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1473727/Unleash-and-Untether-your-self-identity.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:38:36</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Believe!]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 May 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1466968</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/believe-3</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We may not know every single one of you listening, but you matter to us. You matter. You are of great value. You're amazing.<br /><br /> This episode is about believing that things can get better, that I can get better, that we will get better... to believe in yourself, to believe in one another... (quote from Ted Lasso.<br /><br /> You matter regardless of what you do, what you achieve, what you don't do, what you don't achieve. It doesn't matter. When you are centered, even if you weigh 80 pounds, no one can throw you. Sometimes there seems to be a lot of people who want to throw you; spiritually, physically and metaphorically. The worst is when YOU throw you, and even worst is when you <br />help them throw you. <br /><br /> We talk about creating your best life. It's important to feel joy. It's nice to have someone take a look at and remind you of who you are, have friends to remind you of who you are, that you're not maybe seeing fully in that moment for someone to remind you, and that's the beauty of friendship.<br /><br /> Don't be afraid of hearing some lovely people maybe express to you what they see around you that you may not know is happening around you to remind you of you, what you're about, like how wonderful you are, how amazing you are, how talented you are. <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#TedLasso #TheBeliefOfHope, #ImposterSyndrome, #momentum, #Aikido, #martialArts,</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">friends</span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span></a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">CALL</span></span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We may not know every single one of you listening, but you matter to us. You matter. You are of great value. You're amazing. This episode is about believing that things can get better, that I can get better, that we will get better... to believe in yourself, to believe in one another... (quote from Ted Lasso. You matter regardless of what you do, what you achieve, what you don't do, what you don't achieve. It doesn't matter. When you are centered, even if you weigh 80 pounds, no one can throw you. Sometimes there seems to be a lot of people who want to throw you; spiritually, physically and metaphorically. The worst is when YOU throw you, and even worst is when you help them throw you.  We talk about creating your best life. It's important to feel joy. It's nice to have someone take a look at and remind you of who you are, have friends to remind you of who you are, that you're not maybe seeing fully in that moment for someone to remind you, and that's the beauty of friendship. Don't be afraid of hearing some lovely people maybe express to you what they see around you that you may not know is happening around you to remind you of you, what you're about, like how wonderful you are, how amazing you are, how talented you are. 
#TedLasso #TheBeliefOfHope, #ImposterSyndrome, #momentum, #Aikido, #martialArts,
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Believe!]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We may not know every single one of you listening, but you matter to us. You matter. You are of great value. You're amazing.<br /><br /> This episode is about believing that things can get better, that I can get better, that we will get better... to believe in yourself, to believe in one another... (quote from Ted Lasso.<br /><br /> You matter regardless of what you do, what you achieve, what you don't do, what you don't achieve. It doesn't matter. When you are centered, even if you weigh 80 pounds, no one can throw you. Sometimes there seems to be a lot of people who want to throw you; spiritually, physically and metaphorically. The worst is when YOU throw you, and even worst is when you <br />help them throw you. <br /><br /> We talk about creating your best life. It's important to feel joy. It's nice to have someone take a look at and remind you of who you are, have friends to remind you of who you are, that you're not maybe seeing fully in that moment for someone to remind you, and that's the beauty of friendship.<br /><br /> Don't be afraid of hearing some lovely people maybe express to you what they see around you that you may not know is happening around you to remind you of you, what you're about, like how wonderful you are, how amazing you are, how talented you are. <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#TedLasso #TheBeliefOfHope, #ImposterSyndrome, #momentum, #Aikido, #martialArts,</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">friends</span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span></a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">CALL</span></span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-large;">TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1466968/BELIEVE-Full-episode.mp3" length="19325264"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We may not know every single one of you listening, but you matter to us. You matter. You are of great value. You're amazing. This episode is about believing that things can get better, that I can get better, that we will get better... to believe in yourself, to believe in one another... (quote from Ted Lasso. You matter regardless of what you do, what you achieve, what you don't do, what you don't achieve. It doesn't matter. When you are centered, even if you weigh 80 pounds, no one can throw you. Sometimes there seems to be a lot of people who want to throw you; spiritually, physically and metaphorically. The worst is when YOU throw you, and even worst is when you help them throw you.  We talk about creating your best life. It's important to feel joy. It's nice to have someone take a look at and remind you of who you are, have friends to remind you of who you are, that you're not maybe seeing fully in that moment for someone to remind you, and that's the beauty of friendship. Don't be afraid of hearing some lovely people maybe express to you what they see around you that you may not know is happening around you to remind you of you, what you're about, like how wonderful you are, how amazing you are, how talented you are. 
#TedLasso #TheBeliefOfHope, #ImposterSyndrome, #momentum, #Aikido, #martialArts,
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1466968/Believe-it-Baby.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:20:07</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[What To Do When Your Friends Break Up]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Apr 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1463501</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/what-to-do-when-your-friends-break-up</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>What do you do when your friends break up with one another? Is this a sunset or sunrise? Is it the end or the beginning of a new path? We give advice based on our personal experiences. We also discuss what to do and how to navigate a group dynamic. When you add new friends into a friend group, it changes the dynamics. Sometimes when you really need someone and the attention from that person is no longer there (it could just even be temporarily, but you need it right at that moment), it is a terrible feeling.<br /><br /> People have a habit of not doing the same things over and over again. So just because it was okay at moment A to say something very hurtful to somebody doesn't mean it's okay in moment B or C or D.<br /><br /> People believe by and large that they are moral, kind and a million other really positive words. And it's hard on people when they get a mirror shown up to them to show them exactly how they're not kind, how they're not giving, how they're not good friends.<br /><br /> When friends break up, it's tricky; when you break up with a friend, when a friend breaks up with you and when two friends that you're friends with, have their breakups; it's just a sticky situation.<br /><br />#comission, #Omission, #BlockbusterVideo, #FriendBreakUp, #WhenFriendshipsBreak</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">friends</span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">CALL</span></span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span><strong> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What do you do when your friends break up with one another? Is this a sunset or sunrise? Is it the end or the beginning of a new path? We give advice based on our personal experiences. We also discuss what to do and how to navigate a group dynamic. When you add new friends into a friend group, it changes the dynamics. Sometimes when you really need someone and the attention from that person is no longer there (it could just even be temporarily, but you need it right at that moment), it is a terrible feeling. People have a habit of not doing the same things over and over again. So just because it was okay at moment A to say something very hurtful to somebody doesn't mean it's okay in moment B or C or D. People believe by and large that they are moral, kind and a million other really positive words. And it's hard on people when they get a mirror shown up to them to show them exactly how they're not kind, how they're not giving, how they're not good friends. When friends break up, it's tricky; when you break up with a friend, when a friend breaks up with you and when two friends that you're friends with, have their breakups; it's just a sticky situation.#comission, #Omission, #BlockbusterVideo, #FriendBreakUp, #WhenFriendshipsBreak
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[What To Do When Your Friends Break Up]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>What do you do when your friends break up with one another? Is this a sunset or sunrise? Is it the end or the beginning of a new path? We give advice based on our personal experiences. We also discuss what to do and how to navigate a group dynamic. When you add new friends into a friend group, it changes the dynamics. Sometimes when you really need someone and the attention from that person is no longer there (it could just even be temporarily, but you need it right at that moment), it is a terrible feeling.<br /><br /> People have a habit of not doing the same things over and over again. So just because it was okay at moment A to say something very hurtful to somebody doesn't mean it's okay in moment B or C or D.<br /><br /> People believe by and large that they are moral, kind and a million other really positive words. And it's hard on people when they get a mirror shown up to them to show them exactly how they're not kind, how they're not giving, how they're not good friends.<br /><br /> When friends break up, it's tricky; when you break up with a friend, when a friend breaks up with you and when two friends that you're friends with, have their breakups; it's just a sticky situation.<br /><br />#comission, #Omission, #BlockbusterVideo, #FriendBreakUp, #WhenFriendshipsBreak</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making </span></span></span><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">friends</span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">CALL</span></span><strong><span style="color:#55595c;"> </span></strong><span style="color:#55595c;"><span style="font-family:'DM Sans', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></span></span><strong> <br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1463501/What-To-Do-When-Your-Friends-Break-Up.mp3" length="29390139"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What do you do when your friends break up with one another? Is this a sunset or sunrise? Is it the end or the beginning of a new path? We give advice based on our personal experiences. We also discuss what to do and how to navigate a group dynamic. When you add new friends into a friend group, it changes the dynamics. Sometimes when you really need someone and the attention from that person is no longer there (it could just even be temporarily, but you need it right at that moment), it is a terrible feeling. People have a habit of not doing the same things over and over again. So just because it was okay at moment A to say something very hurtful to somebody doesn't mean it's okay in moment B or C or D. People believe by and large that they are moral, kind and a million other really positive words. And it's hard on people when they get a mirror shown up to them to show them exactly how they're not kind, how they're not giving, how they're not good friends. When friends break up, it's tricky; when you break up with a friend, when a friend breaks up with you and when two friends that you're friends with, have their breakups; it's just a sticky situation.#comission, #Omission, #BlockbusterVideo, #FriendBreakUp, #WhenFriendshipsBreak
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1463501/Our-Friendly-World-with-Fawn-and-Matt-on-what-to-do-when-friends-break-up.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:36</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Allowing People to Expose Their True Ways for Healthy Friendships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Apr 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1459194</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/allowing-people-to-expose-their-true-ways</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This is for anyone who's ever felt less than. It's not you. You are not less than.<br />We should concentrate on taking care of our space and realizing in what ways we are showing our true selves; the good, the bad, and the ugly, all of it, and being conscious of it all. And I think that's a great step to realizing how we're showing up for friendship, how we're showing up in the world, how we are creating our worlds<br /><br />We're not alone guys. and remember what I told you about the shame. I think that's when people who treat you as less than, succeed when you start feeling shame. They are exposing themselves. Do not allow shame to take over you. You are valuable. You are of great value. You're amazing and beautiful, and you're a friend of ours.<br /> </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This episode is about allowing and letting people expose their true selves. These are the people who think you don't count. When people don't count you as a real human being, people who discard you, your presence, your culture, and/or your appearance, as acceptable.</strong></span></span></p>
<div class="block-body p-0 mt-3 content-summary">
<p class="lead">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br />CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</p>
</div>
<div class="block-body block-post-body mt-3"> </div>
<div class="block-body block-post-body mt-3 content-player-badges"> </div>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This is for anyone who's ever felt less than. It's not you. You are not less than.We should concentrate on taking care of our space and realizing in what ways we are showing our true selves; the good, the bad, and the ugly, all of it, and being conscious of it all. And I think that's a great step to realizing how we're showing up for friendship, how we're showing up in the world, how we are creating our worldsWe're not alone guys. and remember what I told you about the shame. I think that's when people who treat you as less than, succeed when you start feeling shame. They are exposing themselves. Do not allow shame to take over you. You are valuable. You are of great value. You're amazing and beautiful, and you're a friend of ours. 
This episode is about allowing and letting people expose their true selves. These are the people who think you don't count. When people don't count you as a real human being, people who discard you, your presence, your culture, and/or your appearance, as acceptable.

Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS

 
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Allowing People to Expose Their True Ways for Healthy Friendships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This is for anyone who's ever felt less than. It's not you. You are not less than.<br />We should concentrate on taking care of our space and realizing in what ways we are showing our true selves; the good, the bad, and the ugly, all of it, and being conscious of it all. And I think that's a great step to realizing how we're showing up for friendship, how we're showing up in the world, how we are creating our worlds<br /><br />We're not alone guys. and remember what I told you about the shame. I think that's when people who treat you as less than, succeed when you start feeling shame. They are exposing themselves. Do not allow shame to take over you. You are valuable. You are of great value. You're amazing and beautiful, and you're a friend of ours.<br /> </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This episode is about allowing and letting people expose their true selves. These are the people who think you don't count. When people don't count you as a real human being, people who discard you, your presence, your culture, and/or your appearance, as acceptable.</strong></span></span></p>
<div class="block-body p-0 mt-3 content-summary">
<p class="lead">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br />CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</p>
</div>
<div class="block-body block-post-body mt-3"> </div>
<div class="block-body block-post-body mt-3 content-player-badges"> </div>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1459194/Alowwing-Others-to-Show-Themselves.mp3" length="48444901"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This is for anyone who's ever felt less than. It's not you. You are not less than.We should concentrate on taking care of our space and realizing in what ways we are showing our true selves; the good, the bad, and the ugly, all of it, and being conscious of it all. And I think that's a great step to realizing how we're showing up for friendship, how we're showing up in the world, how we are creating our worldsWe're not alone guys. and remember what I told you about the shame. I think that's when people who treat you as less than, succeed when you start feeling shame. They are exposing themselves. Do not allow shame to take over you. You are valuable. You are of great value. You're amazing and beautiful, and you're a friend of ours. 
This episode is about allowing and letting people expose their true selves. These are the people who think you don't count. When people don't count you as a real human being, people who discard you, your presence, your culture, and/or your appearance, as acceptable.

Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS

 
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1459194/c1a-8j1v-ww7vj22jcm6-lfrpk9.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:50:27</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Of Sound Body and Mind Friendships with Jacqueline Fusari ]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Apr 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1455220</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/of-sound-body-and-mind-with-jacqueline-fusari</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This episode is about the communication with our own life force. It sounds kind of woo woo, I know, BUT we're talking about creating balance, having understanding, developing compassion for ourselves and being grounded so that we're better able to present in the world for ourselves and for others. We are joined by friend and acupuncturist Jacqueline Fusari as we discuss being centered on all levels from the physical to the emotional, to the spiritual level.<br /><br />Jacqueline teaches us that when it comes to communicating with ourselves and our bodies clearly, we can present ourselves authentically to others so that we're in the best place to make friends and communicate clearly. <br /><br />#Chi, #acupuncturist, #Acupressure, #Aikido, #martial art, #emotions, #life-force, #balance</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>To reach Jacqueline: <a href="https://www.fusariacupuncture.com/">https://www.fusariacupuncture.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode is about the communication with our own life force. It sounds kind of woo woo, I know, BUT we're talking about creating balance, having understanding, developing compassion for ourselves and being grounded so that we're better able to present in the world for ourselves and for others. We are joined by friend and acupuncturist Jacqueline Fusari as we discuss being centered on all levels from the physical to the emotional, to the spiritual level.Jacqueline teaches us that when it comes to communicating with ourselves and our bodies clearly, we can present ourselves authentically to others so that we're in the best place to make friends and communicate clearly. #Chi, #acupuncturist, #Acupressure, #Aikido, #martial art, #emotions, #life-force, #balance
To reach Jacqueline: https://www.fusariacupuncture.com/
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Of Sound Body and Mind Friendships with Jacqueline Fusari ]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This episode is about the communication with our own life force. It sounds kind of woo woo, I know, BUT we're talking about creating balance, having understanding, developing compassion for ourselves and being grounded so that we're better able to present in the world for ourselves and for others. We are joined by friend and acupuncturist Jacqueline Fusari as we discuss being centered on all levels from the physical to the emotional, to the spiritual level.<br /><br />Jacqueline teaches us that when it comes to communicating with ourselves and our bodies clearly, we can present ourselves authentically to others so that we're in the best place to make friends and communicate clearly. <br /><br />#Chi, #acupuncturist, #Acupressure, #Aikido, #martial art, #emotions, #life-force, #balance</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>To reach Jacqueline: <a href="https://www.fusariacupuncture.com/">https://www.fusariacupuncture.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1455220/Episode-137-Communicating-with-Our-Body-.mp3" length="45857315"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This episode is about the communication with our own life force. It sounds kind of woo woo, I know, BUT we're talking about creating balance, having understanding, developing compassion for ourselves and being grounded so that we're better able to present in the world for ourselves and for others. We are joined by friend and acupuncturist Jacqueline Fusari as we discuss being centered on all levels from the physical to the emotional, to the spiritual level.Jacqueline teaches us that when it comes to communicating with ourselves and our bodies clearly, we can present ourselves authentically to others so that we're in the best place to make friends and communicate clearly. #Chi, #acupuncturist, #Acupressure, #Aikido, #martial art, #emotions, #life-force, #balance
To reach Jacqueline: https://www.fusariacupuncture.com/
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1455220/IMG-7155.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:47:46</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[We Are Each Other's Messages in Water- Veda Austin]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 03 Apr 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1450833</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/we-are-each-others-messages-in-water-veda-austin</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We are speaking with water researcher, Veda Austin from New Zealand, to explore communication with something that connects all of us. This is truly getting into the art of communication. There is so much magic here that this episode reaches almost 2 hours, and there is so much more to explore!</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>There are connections, mysteries, and signs all around us. And so today, one of those signs, one of those amazing marvels, one of the truly profound noble entities beings in our world is water. We're gonna explore it, as one of the elements that connects us all.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>It's normal to become overwhelmed sometimes, get bewildered, and feel fragmented, separate, and alone. Sometimes life can even seem frightening. It can feel like it's just us against the world that we've been left behind, sometimes in some way, sometimes awashed by uncertainty in life. so we're here with the Art of Friendship and all of us here today, especially with Veda, in life in general, we're here together to support one another.<br /><br />We're here to remind each other, to snap each other out of this kind of falsehood that we're separate, not connected; to show each other the marvel, the nobleness that holds everything, connecting us, and holding all of existence together with perfect artistry. </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>O</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>ne of the truly profound noble entities beings in our world is water.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><br /> https://www.vedaaustin.com/</span></span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#Veda Austin,  #New Zealand, #water conference #The Story of Ushela, #Veda Karan, #The Bhagavad Gita, #Masaru Emoto,<br /><br />#life force energy, #sonic signature, ##messages in water, </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#Hinduism, #Buddhism, #Christianity, #Islam, #Judaism, #the Bahai, #Shinto, #Zoroastrian, #First Nation People, #</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>spiritual truths,</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#Dr. Masaru Emoto, #Laurent Costa, #Thomas Hieronymus, #Dr. Gerald Pollock's, #hydroglyphs, #Masaru Emoto's work, #"Stairway to Heaven", #Rumi, #unity consciousness, #Zoroastrianism, #animism</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We are speaking with water researcher, Veda Austin from New Zealand, to explore communication with something that connects all of us. This is truly getting into the art of communication. There is so much magic here that this episode reaches almost 2 hours, and there is so much more to explore!
There are connections, mysteries, and signs all around us. And so today, one of those signs, one of those amazing marvels, one of the truly profound noble entities beings in our world is water. We're gonna explore it, as one of the elements that connects us all.
It's normal to become overwhelmed sometimes, get bewildered, and feel fragmented, separate, and alone. Sometimes life can even seem frightening. It can feel like it's just us against the world that we've been left behind, sometimes in some way, sometimes awashed by uncertainty in life. so we're here with the Art of Friendship and all of us here today, especially with Veda, in life in general, we're here together to support one another.We're here to remind each other, to snap each other out of this kind of falsehood that we're separate, not connected; to show each other the marvel, the nobleness that holds everything, connecting us, and holding all of existence together with perfect artistry. 
One of the truly profound noble entities beings in our world is water.
 https://www.vedaaustin.com/
#Veda Austin,  #New Zealand, #water conference #The Story of Ushela, #Veda Karan, #The Bhagavad Gita, #Masaru Emoto,#life force energy, #sonic signature, ##messages in water, 
#Hinduism, #Buddhism, #Christianity, #Islam, #Judaism, #the Bahai, #Shinto, #Zoroastrian, #First Nation People, #spiritual truths,
#Dr. Masaru Emoto, #Laurent Costa, #Thomas Hieronymus, #Dr. Gerald Pollock's, #hydroglyphs, #Masaru Emoto's work, #"Stairway to Heaven", #Rumi, #unity consciousness, #Zoroastrianism, #animism
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[We Are Each Other's Messages in Water- Veda Austin]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We are speaking with water researcher, Veda Austin from New Zealand, to explore communication with something that connects all of us. This is truly getting into the art of communication. There is so much magic here that this episode reaches almost 2 hours, and there is so much more to explore!</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>There are connections, mysteries, and signs all around us. And so today, one of those signs, one of those amazing marvels, one of the truly profound noble entities beings in our world is water. We're gonna explore it, as one of the elements that connects us all.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>It's normal to become overwhelmed sometimes, get bewildered, and feel fragmented, separate, and alone. Sometimes life can even seem frightening. It can feel like it's just us against the world that we've been left behind, sometimes in some way, sometimes awashed by uncertainty in life. so we're here with the Art of Friendship and all of us here today, especially with Veda, in life in general, we're here together to support one another.<br /><br />We're here to remind each other, to snap each other out of this kind of falsehood that we're separate, not connected; to show each other the marvel, the nobleness that holds everything, connecting us, and holding all of existence together with perfect artistry. </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>O</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>ne of the truly profound noble entities beings in our world is water.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><br /> https://www.vedaaustin.com/</span></span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#Veda Austin,  #New Zealand, #water conference #The Story of Ushela, #Veda Karan, #The Bhagavad Gita, #Masaru Emoto,<br /><br />#life force energy, #sonic signature, ##messages in water, </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#Hinduism, #Buddhism, #Christianity, #Islam, #Judaism, #the Bahai, #Shinto, #Zoroastrian, #First Nation People, #</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>spiritual truths,</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#Dr. Masaru Emoto, #Laurent Costa, #Thomas Hieronymus, #Dr. Gerald Pollock's, #hydroglyphs, #Masaru Emoto's work, #"Stairway to Heaven", #Rumi, #unity consciousness, #Zoroastrianism, #animism</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1450833/Messages-in-Water-Communicating-with-Water-with-Veda-Austin.mp3" length="106666613"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We are speaking with water researcher, Veda Austin from New Zealand, to explore communication with something that connects all of us. This is truly getting into the art of communication. There is so much magic here that this episode reaches almost 2 hours, and there is so much more to explore!
There are connections, mysteries, and signs all around us. And so today, one of those signs, one of those amazing marvels, one of the truly profound noble entities beings in our world is water. We're gonna explore it, as one of the elements that connects us all.
It's normal to become overwhelmed sometimes, get bewildered, and feel fragmented, separate, and alone. Sometimes life can even seem frightening. It can feel like it's just us against the world that we've been left behind, sometimes in some way, sometimes awashed by uncertainty in life. so we're here with the Art of Friendship and all of us here today, especially with Veda, in life in general, we're here together to support one another.We're here to remind each other, to snap each other out of this kind of falsehood that we're separate, not connected; to show each other the marvel, the nobleness that holds everything, connecting us, and holding all of existence together with perfect artistry. 
One of the truly profound noble entities beings in our world is water.
 https://www.vedaaustin.com/
#Veda Austin,  #New Zealand, #water conference #The Story of Ushela, #Veda Karan, #The Bhagavad Gita, #Masaru Emoto,#life force energy, #sonic signature, ##messages in water, 
#Hinduism, #Buddhism, #Christianity, #Islam, #Judaism, #the Bahai, #Shinto, #Zoroastrian, #First Nation People, #spiritual truths,
#Dr. Masaru Emoto, #Laurent Costa, #Thomas Hieronymus, #Dr. Gerald Pollock's, #hydroglyphs, #Masaru Emoto's work, #"Stairway to Heaven", #Rumi, #unity consciousness, #Zoroastrianism, #animism
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1450833/images-in-water.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:51:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The War of Art and Clearing Self-Hatred - Peeling the Onion to Love]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Mar 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1442880</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-war-of-art-and-clearing-self-hatred-peeling-the-onion-to-love</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We're joined by our friend Marianne. </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We're joined by our friend Marianne and discuss the strange occurrence that happens when we do something creative when we start to feel a passion as you feel like, oh my God, I want to do this, or I want to say this, I want to experience this, there's a kind of inertia pulling us to the opposite extreme.  It's this opposing kind of dynamic that's happening. I feel like when we pursue our dreams and our dreams could be pursuing our voice, pursuing speaking the truth in the world, we are met with this kind of resistance. Steven Pressfield calls it "The War of Art". I<span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">t's a force that can stop you from doing what you're supposed to be doing. <br />If you don't value yourself, you'll always sell yourself short. </span></span></strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">In this episode, we explore a way to clear these things, these horrible, heavy, negative thoughts that keep us from our greatness, for striving for what we need. We strive for unlimitedness and feeling free.<br /></span></span><br />Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br />CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS<br /><br /><br /> <span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#Steven Pressfield </span></span>the War of Art,  #</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>"Afterlife",  #Ricky Jervais, #cutting costs, #growth mode, #Business,  #cost-cutting mode,<br /><br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We're joined by our friend Marianne. 
We're joined by our friend Marianne and discuss the strange occurrence that happens when we do something creative when we start to feel a passion as you feel like, oh my God, I want to do this, or I want to say this, I want to experience this, there's a kind of inertia pulling us to the opposite extreme.  It's this opposing kind of dynamic that's happening. I feel like when we pursue our dreams and our dreams could be pursuing our voice, pursuing speaking the truth in the world, we are met with this kind of resistance. Steven Pressfield calls it "The War of Art". It's a force that can stop you from doing what you're supposed to be doing. If you don't value yourself, you'll always sell yourself short. In this episode, we explore a way to clear these things, these horrible, heavy, negative thoughts that keep us from our greatness, for striving for what we need. We strive for unlimitedness and feeling free.Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS #Steven Pressfield the War of Art,  #"Afterlife",  #Ricky Jervais, #cutting costs, #growth mode, #Business,  #cost-cutting mode,]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The War of Art and Clearing Self-Hatred - Peeling the Onion to Love]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We're joined by our friend Marianne. </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We're joined by our friend Marianne and discuss the strange occurrence that happens when we do something creative when we start to feel a passion as you feel like, oh my God, I want to do this, or I want to say this, I want to experience this, there's a kind of inertia pulling us to the opposite extreme.  It's this opposing kind of dynamic that's happening. I feel like when we pursue our dreams and our dreams could be pursuing our voice, pursuing speaking the truth in the world, we are met with this kind of resistance. Steven Pressfield calls it "The War of Art". I<span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">t's a force that can stop you from doing what you're supposed to be doing. <br />If you don't value yourself, you'll always sell yourself short. </span></span></strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">In this episode, we explore a way to clear these things, these horrible, heavy, negative thoughts that keep us from our greatness, for striving for what we need. We strive for unlimitedness and feeling free.<br /></span></span><br />Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br />CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS<br /><br /><br /> <span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">#Steven Pressfield </span></span>the War of Art,  #</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>"Afterlife",  #Ricky Jervais, #cutting costs, #growth mode, #Business,  #cost-cutting mode,<br /><br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1442880/Episode-135-The-War-of-Art-and-Self-Hatred.mp3" length="53670642"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We're joined by our friend Marianne. 
We're joined by our friend Marianne and discuss the strange occurrence that happens when we do something creative when we start to feel a passion as you feel like, oh my God, I want to do this, or I want to say this, I want to experience this, there's a kind of inertia pulling us to the opposite extreme.  It's this opposing kind of dynamic that's happening. I feel like when we pursue our dreams and our dreams could be pursuing our voice, pursuing speaking the truth in the world, we are met with this kind of resistance. Steven Pressfield calls it "The War of Art". It's a force that can stop you from doing what you're supposed to be doing. If you don't value yourself, you'll always sell yourself short. In this episode, we explore a way to clear these things, these horrible, heavy, negative thoughts that keep us from our greatness, for striving for what we need. We strive for unlimitedness and feeling free.Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS #Steven Pressfield the War of Art,  #"Afterlife",  #Ricky Jervais, #cutting costs, #growth mode, #Business,  #cost-cutting mode,]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1442880/onion-layers-with-heart.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:55:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Self Awareness]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Mar 2023 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1437538</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-self-awareness</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>The whole platform for our podcast is the art of friendship, and at the root is the art of communication.<br /><br />In discussing self-awareness, taking a look at ourselves and how we operate. Getting to know who we truly are, how we react to things, what our history is, why we think a certain way, why we act a certain way, what makes us introverted?<br /><br />What makes us like an outgoing person? What makes us want to do what we're doing? Like, where does all that come from? Understanding that will help us to understand others.<br /><br /> SELF: (noun) a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action. A person's particular nature or personality, the quality that makes a person individual or unique. One's own interests or pleasure used ironically to refer to oneself as someone else. Like for example, "The only side worth supporting is your own sweet self. "Okay,<br /><br /> SELF (verb): Self Pollinate Self-fertilize. Here's an example. " A variety that selfs itself loses lots of vigor in the progeny".<br /><br />SELF: (adjective) of a trimming or cover of the same material and color as the rest of the item. "A dress with self belt". <br /><br /> link in the show notes https://www.estherperel.com/.<br /><br />do you feel like growing up you had protection more or did you have connection more like a sense of togetherness? <br /><br />Did you feel more protection from the family or did you feel a sense of connection and togetherness?<br /><br />what are your expectations of a friendship?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:</span></p>
<p><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/"><span style="font-size:medium;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></a></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The whole platform for our podcast is the art of friendship, and at the root is the art of communication.In discussing self-awareness, taking a look at ourselves and how we operate. Getting to know who we truly are, how we react to things, what our history is, why we think a certain way, why we act a certain way, what makes us introverted?What makes us like an outgoing person? What makes us want to do what we're doing? Like, where does all that come from? Understanding that will help us to understand others. SELF: (noun) a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action. A person's particular nature or personality, the quality that makes a person individual or unique. One's own interests or pleasure used ironically to refer to oneself as someone else. Like for example, "The only side worth supporting is your own sweet self. "Okay, SELF (verb): Self Pollinate Self-fertilize. Here's an example. " A variety that selfs itself loses lots of vigor in the progeny".SELF: (adjective) of a trimming or cover of the same material and color as the rest of the item. "A dress with self belt".  link in the show notes https://www.estherperel.com/.do you feel like growing up you had protection more or did you have connection more like a sense of togetherness? Did you feel more protection from the family or did you feel a sense of connection and togetherness?what are your expectations of a friendship?
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Self Awareness]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>The whole platform for our podcast is the art of friendship, and at the root is the art of communication.<br /><br />In discussing self-awareness, taking a look at ourselves and how we operate. Getting to know who we truly are, how we react to things, what our history is, why we think a certain way, why we act a certain way, what makes us introverted?<br /><br />What makes us like an outgoing person? What makes us want to do what we're doing? Like, where does all that come from? Understanding that will help us to understand others.<br /><br /> SELF: (noun) a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action. A person's particular nature or personality, the quality that makes a person individual or unique. One's own interests or pleasure used ironically to refer to oneself as someone else. Like for example, "The only side worth supporting is your own sweet self. "Okay,<br /><br /> SELF (verb): Self Pollinate Self-fertilize. Here's an example. " A variety that selfs itself loses lots of vigor in the progeny".<br /><br />SELF: (adjective) of a trimming or cover of the same material and color as the rest of the item. "A dress with self belt". <br /><br /> link in the show notes https://www.estherperel.com/.<br /><br />do you feel like growing up you had protection more or did you have connection more like a sense of togetherness? <br /><br />Did you feel more protection from the family or did you feel a sense of connection and togetherness?<br /><br />what are your expectations of a friendship?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:</span></p>
<p><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/"><span style="font-size:medium;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></a></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1437538/The-Art-of-Self-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="52878192"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The whole platform for our podcast is the art of friendship, and at the root is the art of communication.In discussing self-awareness, taking a look at ourselves and how we operate. Getting to know who we truly are, how we react to things, what our history is, why we think a certain way, why we act a certain way, what makes us introverted?What makes us like an outgoing person? What makes us want to do what we're doing? Like, where does all that come from? Understanding that will help us to understand others. SELF: (noun) a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action. A person's particular nature or personality, the quality that makes a person individual or unique. One's own interests or pleasure used ironically to refer to oneself as someone else. Like for example, "The only side worth supporting is your own sweet self. "Okay, SELF (verb): Self Pollinate Self-fertilize. Here's an example. " A variety that selfs itself loses lots of vigor in the progeny".SELF: (adjective) of a trimming or cover of the same material and color as the rest of the item. "A dress with self belt".  link in the show notes https://www.estherperel.com/.do you feel like growing up you had protection more or did you have connection more like a sense of togetherness? Did you feel more protection from the family or did you feel a sense of connection and togetherness?what are your expectations of a friendship?
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:55:04</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Vulnerability ]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Mar 2023 01:39:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1425925</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-vulnerability</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Defining friendship, we can see it as a combination of generosity and intimacy. How do we show up? How do we think we show up in every relationship and what value do we offer?<br /><br />On our podcast, we always tell you about the number one friend, number two friend and number three friend based on Aristotle's Nichomachian Ethics. Should we always be the kind of person people like to hang out with? That's one of our goals, being thoughtful about how we make another person feel. If someone is seeking those first two Nichomachin ways out in you, and that's it, that's not the true friend. However, they are important. So if a person is only hanging out with you because of how you make them feel and/or they're hanging out with you because of what they're getting from you, that is not true friendship. But they are valid qualities. Sometimes on your way to the true friend, you pass through these other levels.<br /><br />You're friends with somebody because they can get you something or, and then that gradually develops into something deeper.<br /><br />There are transition friends. There are friends who meet you when you first come to a place.<br /><br />They're not necessarily going to be your forever friends, but they welcome you in, and that's their job. and then they let you go in some manner, you go in different directions,<br /><br />We're talking about the level one, level two friends. And don't discredit that. Don't say that that's not necessarily a friendship. Because sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. But sometimes it is.<br /><br />#EstablishedHierarchy, #TheArtOfKnowingYourWeakness, #TheArtOfVulnerability, #TheArtOfMakingFriends, #TransitionFriends</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:</span></p>
<p><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/"><span style="font-size:medium;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></a></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></strong></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Defining friendship, we can see it as a combination of generosity and intimacy. How do we show up? How do we think we show up in every relationship and what value do we offer?On our podcast, we always tell you about the number one friend, number two friend and number three friend based on Aristotle's Nichomachian Ethics. Should we always be the kind of person people like to hang out with? That's one of our goals, being thoughtful about how we make another person feel. If someone is seeking those first two Nichomachin ways out in you, and that's it, that's not the true friend. However, they are important. So if a person is only hanging out with you because of how you make them feel and/or they're hanging out with you because of what they're getting from you, that is not true friendship. But they are valid qualities. Sometimes on your way to the true friend, you pass through these other levels.You're friends with somebody because they can get you something or, and then that gradually develops into something deeper.There are transition friends. There are friends who meet you when you first come to a place.They're not necessarily going to be your forever friends, but they welcome you in, and that's their job. and then they let you go in some manner, you go in different directions,We're talking about the level one, level two friends. And don't discredit that. Don't say that that's not necessarily a friendship. Because sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. But sometimes it is.#EstablishedHierarchy, #TheArtOfKnowingYourWeakness, #TheArtOfVulnerability, #TheArtOfMakingFriends, #TransitionFriends

Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Vulnerability ]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Defining friendship, we can see it as a combination of generosity and intimacy. How do we show up? How do we think we show up in every relationship and what value do we offer?<br /><br />On our podcast, we always tell you about the number one friend, number two friend and number three friend based on Aristotle's Nichomachian Ethics. Should we always be the kind of person people like to hang out with? That's one of our goals, being thoughtful about how we make another person feel. If someone is seeking those first two Nichomachin ways out in you, and that's it, that's not the true friend. However, they are important. So if a person is only hanging out with you because of how you make them feel and/or they're hanging out with you because of what they're getting from you, that is not true friendship. But they are valid qualities. Sometimes on your way to the true friend, you pass through these other levels.<br /><br />You're friends with somebody because they can get you something or, and then that gradually develops into something deeper.<br /><br />There are transition friends. There are friends who meet you when you first come to a place.<br /><br />They're not necessarily going to be your forever friends, but they welcome you in, and that's their job. and then they let you go in some manner, you go in different directions,<br /><br />We're talking about the level one, level two friends. And don't discredit that. Don't say that that's not necessarily a friendship. Because sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. But sometimes it is.<br /><br />#EstablishedHierarchy, #TheArtOfKnowingYourWeakness, #TheArtOfVulnerability, #TheArtOfMakingFriends, #TransitionFriends</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:</span></p>
<p><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/"><span style="font-size:medium;">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></a></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:medium;">CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</span></strong></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1425925/Episode-134-The-Art-of-Vulnerability-.mp3" length="26528373"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Defining friendship, we can see it as a combination of generosity and intimacy. How do we show up? How do we think we show up in every relationship and what value do we offer?On our podcast, we always tell you about the number one friend, number two friend and number three friend based on Aristotle's Nichomachian Ethics. Should we always be the kind of person people like to hang out with? That's one of our goals, being thoughtful about how we make another person feel. If someone is seeking those first two Nichomachin ways out in you, and that's it, that's not the true friend. However, they are important. So if a person is only hanging out with you because of how you make them feel and/or they're hanging out with you because of what they're getting from you, that is not true friendship. But they are valid qualities. Sometimes on your way to the true friend, you pass through these other levels.You're friends with somebody because they can get you something or, and then that gradually develops into something deeper.There are transition friends. There are friends who meet you when you first come to a place.They're not necessarily going to be your forever friends, but they welcome you in, and that's their job. and then they let you go in some manner, you go in different directions,We're talking about the level one, level two friends. And don't discredit that. Don't say that that's not necessarily a friendship. Because sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. But sometimes it is.#EstablishedHierarchy, #TheArtOfKnowingYourWeakness, #TheArtOfVulnerability, #TheArtOfMakingFriends, #TransitionFriends

Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1425925/Untitled-1.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:27:38</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Don't Blame It On The Pandemic]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Mar 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1425883</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/dont-blame-it-on-the-pandemic</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>I want to talk about the loneliness epidemic. People are talking about it like it's something that the pandemic brought about, but it's not. It has been here for a long time. The loneliness epidemic was here long before the 2019 pandemic, but people were more likely to speak about it, speak about the fact that they were at home alone, or they felt loneliness, that they felt like, wow, I don't have anyone near me. I don't have someone to turn to.<br /><br /> I want to say, don't blame the pandemic. This is something that's been here long before. It's been happening decade after decade. It came to a point where I think , and I've said this before, I think that people felt ashamed, that it was their fault that they didn't have any friends, which meant that there was something wrong with them.<br /><br />But what we noticed was throughout the decades, it was getting worse and worse, and that you are not at fault. People are not at fault. It's the way society has been moving towards is that, "let me do it on my own, you should do everything on your own. You should be self-sufficient. You should do everything by yourself. You should live by yourself."</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[I want to talk about the loneliness epidemic. People are talking about it like it's something that the pandemic brought about, but it's not. It has been here for a long time. The loneliness epidemic was here long before the 2019 pandemic, but people were more likely to speak about it, speak about the fact that they were at home alone, or they felt loneliness, that they felt like, wow, I don't have anyone near me. I don't have someone to turn to. I want to say, don't blame the pandemic. This is something that's been here long before. It's been happening decade after decade. It came to a point where I think , and I've said this before, I think that people felt ashamed, that it was their fault that they didn't have any friends, which meant that there was something wrong with them.But what we noticed was throughout the decades, it was getting worse and worse, and that you are not at fault. People are not at fault. It's the way society has been moving towards is that, "let me do it on my own, you should do everything on your own. You should be self-sufficient. You should do everything by yourself. You should live by yourself."]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Don't Blame It On The Pandemic]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>I want to talk about the loneliness epidemic. People are talking about it like it's something that the pandemic brought about, but it's not. It has been here for a long time. The loneliness epidemic was here long before the 2019 pandemic, but people were more likely to speak about it, speak about the fact that they were at home alone, or they felt loneliness, that they felt like, wow, I don't have anyone near me. I don't have someone to turn to.<br /><br /> I want to say, don't blame the pandemic. This is something that's been here long before. It's been happening decade after decade. It came to a point where I think , and I've said this before, I think that people felt ashamed, that it was their fault that they didn't have any friends, which meant that there was something wrong with them.<br /><br />But what we noticed was throughout the decades, it was getting worse and worse, and that you are not at fault. People are not at fault. It's the way society has been moving towards is that, "let me do it on my own, you should do everything on your own. You should be self-sufficient. You should do everything by yourself. You should live by yourself."</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/1425883/Don-t-Blame-It-On-the-Pandemic.mp3" length="38810939"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[I want to talk about the loneliness epidemic. People are talking about it like it's something that the pandemic brought about, but it's not. It has been here for a long time. The loneliness epidemic was here long before the 2019 pandemic, but people were more likely to speak about it, speak about the fact that they were at home alone, or they felt loneliness, that they felt like, wow, I don't have anyone near me. I don't have someone to turn to. I want to say, don't blame the pandemic. This is something that's been here long before. It's been happening decade after decade. It came to a point where I think , and I've said this before, I think that people felt ashamed, that it was their fault that they didn't have any friends, which meant that there was something wrong with them.But what we noticed was throughout the decades, it was getting worse and worse, and that you are not at fault. People are not at fault. It's the way society has been moving towards is that, "let me do it on my own, you should do everything on your own. You should be self-sufficient. You should do everything by yourself. You should live by yourself."]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1425883/Loneliness.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:40:25</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Auger]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Feb 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1406643</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-auger</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Today's topic is having anxiety about the future. Let's fix our mental and physical posture. Are we looking at the future that's not good but we're forced to pursue? This brings us to the one word for the podcast episode today, which is Auger. What does it mean and how can it help shape our fate?<br /><br /> Are we truly hopeful about the future? Are we OK with the direction that life is taking? It's about where are we going or not going. Is something happening too fast? Is something changing in your life that doesn't feel right? How many of us are feeling these things, and what can we do about it?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><br />     </span><span style="font-size:small;">Sometimes the future doesn't seem so great, especially when we rely on mass behavior, mass consciousness behavior, and the pack mentality. It seems to go towards a fearful area, which never bodes well. So what can we do? </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     Have you noticed that in history, things could be really, really rough, but there are people who can find ways to laugh, find ways to appreciate and find ways to enjoy life? That's where friendship comes in. Even going to a coffee shop or going somewhere that is peaceful and nourishing where people congregate and ask for the nourishment in that. Living and enjoying within the precise moment being completely in the now completely.<br /><br />Thought Exercise: At this moment are you warm enough? At the moment are you not safe? In this precise moment are you not surrounded by love? No matter how dire the situation, if you can bring it to that moment, you're still alive and you're still breathing. There is still hope, there is still peace with you. So, Thinking about that and if you can get yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, that calms and soothes you. Can you relish in that and with the company of someone else? Can you try to think of things that are funny?<br /><br />     Let's look at the future in a positive way, because we're going to create it to be that way. We're not going to listen to the doom that's been prognosticated. We're gonna create a better future. We're gonna hang out with some cool people. We're gonna find them if we don't have them, we're gonna seek them out and find them, because trust me, they're out there looking for us. And we're going to laugh in the face of doom and gloom and create a better future together. And that is true art right there, friends!<br /><br />     Inside of all of us, there are two wolves. There is the Wolf of Hope and the Wolf of Fear. Which one are you gonna feed?<br /><br />     Find people out there. You are always surrounded by people that are your friends. They're also looking for you, and all you have to do is just say hello or look at them longer than you normally would, and when they notice you looking at them, share your heart with a genuine smile. I emphasize the word genuine. Let it come from your heart, from the way you're feeling. So it may not be a happy smile, but if it's a genuine smile, the smile could convey, yes, you're in pain, but you're, you're very happy to be in the presence of this other human being. And that is the spark of friendship right there. <br /><br /> REMEMBER: No fate, but what we make.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</strong><br /><br />#ZenStories, #aPositiveAttitudeTowardsLife, #NoFateButWhatWeMake, #Auger, #TwoWolves, #TheArtOfFriendship, #OurFriendlyWorldWithFawnAndMattPodcast, #ArtOfFriendship, #PickingUpOnMassConsciousness, </span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>...</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Today's topic is having anxiety about the future. Let's fix our mental and physical posture. Are we looking at the future that's not good but we're forced to pursue? This brings us to the one word for the podcast episode today, which is Auger. What does it mean and how can it help shape our fate? Are we truly hopeful about the future? Are we OK with the direction that life is taking? It's about where are we going or not going. Is something happening too fast? Is something changing in your life that doesn't feel right? How many of us are feeling these things, and what can we do about it?
     Sometimes the future doesn't seem so great, especially when we rely on mass behavior, mass consciousness behavior, and the pack mentality. It seems to go towards a fearful area, which never bodes well. So what can we do? 
     Have you noticed that in history, things could be really, really rough, but there are people who can find ways to laugh, find ways to appreciate and find ways to enjoy life? That's where friendship comes in. Even going to a coffee shop or going somewhere that is peaceful and nourishing where people congregate and ask for the nourishment in that. Living and enjoying within the precise moment being completely in the now completely.Thought Exercise: At this moment are you warm enough? At the moment are you not safe? In this precise moment are you not surrounded by love? No matter how dire the situation, if you can bring it to that moment, you're still alive and you're still breathing. There is still hope, there is still peace with you. So, Thinking about that and if you can get yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, that calms and soothes you. Can you relish in that and with the company of someone else? Can you try to think of things that are funny?     Let's look at the future in a positive way, because we're going to create it to be that way. We're not going to listen to the doom that's been prognosticated. We're gonna create a better future. We're gonna hang out with some cool people. We're gonna find them if we don't have them, we're gonna seek them out and find them, because trust me, they're out there looking for us. And we're going to laugh in the face of doom and gloom and create a better future together. And that is true art right there, friends!     Inside of all of us, there are two wolves. There is the Wolf of Hope and the Wolf of Fear. Which one are you gonna feed?     Find people out there. You are always surrounded by people that are your friends. They're also looking for you, and all you have to do is just say hello or look at them longer than you normally would, and when they notice you looking at them, share your heart with a genuine smile. I emphasize the word genuine. Let it come from your heart, from the way you're feeling. So it may not be a happy smile, but if it's a genuine smile, the smile could convey, yes, you're in pain, but you're, you're very happy to be in the presence of this other human being. And that is the spark of friendship right there.  REMEMBER: No fate, but what we make.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS#ZenStories, #aPositiveAttitudeTowardsLife, #NoFateButWhatWeMake, #Auger, #TwoWolves, #TheArtOfFriendship, #OurFriendlyWorldWithFawnAndMattPodcast, #ArtOfFriendship, #PickingUpOnMassConsciousness, 
...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Auger]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Today's topic is having anxiety about the future. Let's fix our mental and physical posture. Are we looking at the future that's not good but we're forced to pursue? This brings us to the one word for the podcast episode today, which is Auger. What does it mean and how can it help shape our fate?<br /><br /> Are we truly hopeful about the future? Are we OK with the direction that life is taking? It's about where are we going or not going. Is something happening too fast? Is something changing in your life that doesn't feel right? How many of us are feeling these things, and what can we do about it?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><br />     </span><span style="font-size:small;">Sometimes the future doesn't seem so great, especially when we rely on mass behavior, mass consciousness behavior, and the pack mentality. It seems to go towards a fearful area, which never bodes well. So what can we do? </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">     Have you noticed that in history, things could be really, really rough, but there are people who can find ways to laugh, find ways to appreciate and find ways to enjoy life? That's where friendship comes in. Even going to a coffee shop or going somewhere that is peaceful and nourishing where people congregate and ask for the nourishment in that. Living and enjoying within the precise moment being completely in the now completely.<br /><br />Thought Exercise: At this moment are you warm enough? At the moment are you not safe? In this precise moment are you not surrounded by love? No matter how dire the situation, if you can bring it to that moment, you're still alive and you're still breathing. There is still hope, there is still peace with you. So, Thinking about that and if you can get yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, that calms and soothes you. Can you relish in that and with the company of someone else? Can you try to think of things that are funny?<br /><br />     Let's look at the future in a positive way, because we're going to create it to be that way. We're not going to listen to the doom that's been prognosticated. We're gonna create a better future. We're gonna hang out with some cool people. We're gonna find them if we don't have them, we're gonna seek them out and find them, because trust me, they're out there looking for us. And we're going to laugh in the face of doom and gloom and create a better future together. And that is true art right there, friends!<br /><br />     Inside of all of us, there are two wolves. There is the Wolf of Hope and the Wolf of Fear. Which one are you gonna feed?<br /><br />     Find people out there. You are always surrounded by people that are your friends. They're also looking for you, and all you have to do is just say hello or look at them longer than you normally would, and when they notice you looking at them, share your heart with a genuine smile. I emphasize the word genuine. Let it come from your heart, from the way you're feeling. So it may not be a happy smile, but if it's a genuine smile, the smile could convey, yes, you're in pain, but you're, you're very happy to be in the presence of this other human being. And that is the spark of friendship right there. <br /><br /> REMEMBER: No fate, but what we make.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS</strong><br /><br />#ZenStories, #aPositiveAttitudeTowardsLife, #NoFateButWhatWeMake, #Auger, #TwoWolves, #TheArtOfFriendship, #OurFriendlyWorldWithFawnAndMattPodcast, #ArtOfFriendship, #PickingUpOnMassConsciousness, </span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Auger - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. Hello, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> What? That's how I always enter </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> the show. Uh, you sound like a parrot. That's all you say is Hello. Hello? Hello . Hello. My friends used to say that when something was wrong, or when something was just askew. Hello. Hello, hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, and oftentimes if you get into an argument with somebody, and they're not saying anything, you'll say hello, because that's like hello.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> A </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> whole, like you need to say something to that. Hello? Yeah. There's a word you can say in different ways though, means so many different things. I guess you can say that with any word, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Dude. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Or one letter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Dude,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> remember the letter A a. . A!, if you say a in an aggravated way, it stops people in their tracks no matter what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> truth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>Today's topic is having anxiety about the future.</strong> Do you remember the image I always talk about? It makes me laugh when I look at certain runners, people who are jogging. Some of them, if you look, actually, I wanna say half of them. I look at them and I start laughing because, Their upper half of their body is leaning backwards.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I've talked about this before, guys, I'm sorry, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> chilling like Bob Dylan,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> no upper half of the body is leaning back and their face is like, oh, no, no. It's like they're in a car going somewhere they don't wanna go. , but their legs are forced to run fast, so their legs are like going fast. But if you look at their upper half, it doesn't tell the story of I'm enjoying my run and I'm headed for the future in a bright, optimistic fashion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So not an inspirational poster. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's an inspirational poster to fix your posture, , to<strong> fix your mental and physical posture. Because why are you forcing yourself to do something you don't wanna do? And are you looking at the future in a way that's not comfortable, but you're forced to pursue?</strong> So you and I got into an argument yesterday.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Do you remember what it. It was a brief argument. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. No, I don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You don't remember ? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh dear. This </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> is gonna be bad. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> All right. So I chose not to listen or look at the tv. God,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> that's right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. I was listening to the radio right. And I was listening to it for a few hours while I was in the kitchen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . And it was, it was all really loud. I, I wanted it that way because, . I really love music, but I'm, I'm, I'm a special breed when it comes to music because if I don't, if I'm not vibing, it literally is torture for me to listen to certain things. ie Matt's music sometimes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Always like Matt's music. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No, he says that all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's not true. I actually love Matt's music, but Matt wakes up five hours before I do. He usually wakes up when I'm going to bed . And so when I come around and we're going somewhere together, it's within 30 minutes of me having woken up if I'm, if I hadn't meditated and we're in the car and he's blaring his European, um, what kind of metal?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Is it European?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> European Prague Or Power Metal. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Power metal. You guys, it is, it makes me crazy. Makes me feel violent. My goodness. Because I'm not ready for it. I just, I just started the day. But that's the whole power. Power. You're five hours, you're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> never ready for it. That's why it's so brilliant. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It disturbs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's, it's, It, it angrifies me . So I was listening to the radio for a few hours, I listened to this one particular station that was, I guess, what was it like, rock. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It was, it was album oriented rock from the seventies, eighties and nineties. Also </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> the sixties actually. So I listened to things from the sixties, seventies, and eighties and nineties, a whole range</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Okay, so Matt always asks me, why are you looking at this TV right now? Because first of all, we have that movie. So why are you watching that movie on tv? Meaning it's aired on television, which means it has commercials and stuff like that. And the only explanation I can give is I'm literally picking up on what's going on in the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I feel like I'm <strong>picking up on mass consciousness.</strong> I'm getting messages from the tv. Mm-hmm. . And it's not like anything that's said or anything that's shown, I feel certain things. It's just my way of seeing. It's my crystal ball in a way. It's an intuitive, it's something that's happened since I was a little kid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And so yesterday I used the radio for the same purpose. I'm like, let me see what's going on. and Matt every, and you guys, every song was Total Doomsday and it, that's what I was picking up. I'm not saying that they curated the music to be that, but I'm like, wow, this is what the population is listening to</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and. It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and you said, wow, all these songs are really depressing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They were depressing, they were scary. It was all about, I felt the end of the world. I felt like not hope for the future. Things are really messed up. Things are scary, things are not right. Um, like end of the days kind of feeling. Mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>which brings us to the one word for the podcast episode today, which is Auger.</strong> Auger. Let me just get into the definitions.<strong> It's really helpful when you look at a written definition for you to understand the true meaning of life in a way.</strong> So here we go, <strong>auger. , an event or circumstance, circum an event or a circumstance, portend a good or a bad outcome. A similar word for auger would be bode, portend, herald, foreshadow, indicate, signify signal, predict prognosticate.</strong> You get the picture. <strong>The noun comes from in ancient Rome,</strong> guys, remember we talked about the blue jay a few episodes back, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>a religious official who observed natural signs, especially the behavior of birds, Interpreting these as an indication of divine approval or disapproval of a proposed action. A similar word would be seer, soothsayer, clairvoyant.</strong> You get the point. <strong>To auger is to predict or indicate. Auger means to be a sign or omen of something, to say that an event or occurance</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>augers well for the future means that it is a sign or promise of good things to come.</strong> And that's what I wanna focus on today. The good things to come because I believe, yes, there's a lot happening right now. There is so much anxiety. The conversations that I've been listening to in various different formats, whether it's what I've noticed in, places that things are broadcasted, like movies, television, news, radio, songs that are created, conversations, I'm listening to at the coffee shops, it seems like there's so much anxiety about the future.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And that's why I started talking about the runner. It's like, uh, I don't wanna go. <strong>Are we truly hopeful about the future?</strong> And I feel like for the most part, no. And I feel like since the year began let's just take a look at our friends circle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> There has been, major surgeries. People moving all of a sudden fights in the family. Lots of people got covid. Just like bizarre things happening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> In my circle. Yes. Uh, the great divorces, tech layoff has affected one or two people in my circle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh my goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And in the world, thousands and thousands of tech layoffs. Right. So there's a. Unrest. Yes. So, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> yes, and in point of fact, there was a once in a generation storm that hit the Northeast. Oh yeah. You know, the weather itself is, I mean, we're just breaking records left and right. Well, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> mean, You know, they're, they're flooding in California.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I mean, there are certain people that we've been talking to who refuse climate change </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> snow in Texas, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> , I don't know how to say this, it feels like, and it looks like everything's really messed up. And what does this have to do with friendship? . What does this have to do with, I'm gonna bring it back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> This, this has to do with the art of friendship . I have a solution so bear with me . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Matt, is the person who brought the word auger to me, and I thought it was ogre, and I thought what? He was just pronouncing it differently. But if I take auger and I bring it to ogre, , which is a mean, it's like a fairytale like mean, ugly monster who eats people </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> very big, very strong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It kind of makes sense, right to the auger, it's augering events in the future it's like , we are seeing the future as not so great. Perhaps it's like an ogre situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> The whole having anxiety about the future. the fear and doom, the way people are behaving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I've been having extreme pain in my foot. I looked up the spiritual reason for this particular pain that I've been having. And it's about<strong> the direction that life is taking. It's about where are we going or not going. Is something happening too fast?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>Is something changing in your life that doesn't feel right? How many of us are feeling these things, and what can we do about it?</strong> This comes into play with the art of friendship, loneliness, all of that. What can we do about it?<strong> So yeah, the future doesn't seem so great, especially when we rely on mass behavior, mass consciousness behavior, the pack mentality. It seems to go towards a fearful area, which never bodes well. So what can we do? Have you ever noticed certain people in times of insecurity, when you hear a mother suddenly humm and baking a cake or humming and just doing something in the kitchen; for me that, that sounds, not that I ever heard that really in my life, but I do it.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong> When I think about it, it makes me feel calm. It makes me feel like all is well, the humming sound or the sound of birds chirping, and especially the sound of people laughing. , Laughing in a happy way, laughing from enjoyment. And how many people have you noticed it could have been in a movie even it doesn't matter. But have you noticed that in history, things could be really, really rough. But there are people who can find ways to laugh, find ways to appreciate and find ways to enjoy life, and that's where the friendship comes in.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>Even going to a coffee shop or going somewhere that is peaceful and nourishing where people congregate and asking for the nourishment in that. Living and enjoying within the precise moment being completely in the now completely.</strong> There was a time that I was in major trouble.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I had a crazy stalker after me. and, um, I was on a photo shoot that morning. I hadn't slept. It was a traumatic time and I, I told you guys this story before, but basically the gist of it was that I was standing in front of my friend who was on the photo shoot with me, who was the director, and she kept asking me, in these words, child of God, are you happy?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm like, what? , are you insane? Because she knew what was happening. , she knew what was happening. Right. Everyone was on alert. Right? The whole building was pretty much on kind of a lockdown situation. Mm-hmm. . And so she's like, are you happy right now? I'm like, no, I'm not happy. And so she kept asking me and every time she asked me, she had me be completely in the moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>In the moment. Are you warm? In the moment are you not safe? In this precise moment are you not surrounded by love? No matter how dire the situation, if you can bring it to that moment, you're still alive and you're still breathing. There is still hope, there is still peace with you. So, Thinking about that and if you can get yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, that calms and soothes you. Can you relish in that and with the company of someone else? Can you try to think of things that are funny?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> When I first met, It was not a funny time in my life. I met Matt when I was having trouble at a job. It was horrible. And after work I would go to Aikido in tears. So, and that's where I met Matt, was in the Aikido school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And what would you say to me, Matt? You were talking about absurdity when life gets absurd, you had a saying, well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> it was the gist of it was when life becomes that absurd, you can't help but laugh and just go with it because the world is gonna buffet you, wherever it's gonna buffet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> might as well have a good time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You might as well understand that it's ludicrous, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Once you acknowledge. Is ludicrousity a word? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> is now . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Once you acknowledge that everything feels better and you're able to move forward and you become a runner that is running towards the future, leaning into it with total, badassness like, yeah, come on, let's go, let's go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>Let's look at the future in a positive way, because we're going to create it to be that way. We're not going to listen to the doom that's been prognosticate. We're gonna create a better future. We're gonna hang out with some cool people. We're gonna find them if we don't have them, we're gonna seek them out and find them, because trust me, they're out there looking for us.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>And we're going to laugh in the face of doom and gloom and create a better future together. And that is true art right there, friends!</strong> And that is the art of friendship. And that's my message for today. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> There's actually, there are many <strong>Zen stories</strong>. One's zen story that I remember the first time I ever witnessed it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It was in a American cartoon, believe it, or. , but it concerns this guy who gets chased by a tiger off a cliff. He grabs onto a branch daunting depth beneath him. Okay? And then on the side of the cliff, so the tiger's on top of the cliff growling and like if he goes up, he's done right. There's a catastrophic fall underneath.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And there's a little tiny little vine and a strawberry on the end of it. I swear to God. and the zen story is, or the story tells us that the man picks the strawberry and eats it, and it was the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted. Roll credits, . I kid you not. and zen stories are meant to be unpacked, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you know, it's, it's, it is and isn't what it seems, but it means that enjoy the moment, whatever that moment is, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and that strawberry could give you the life force to defeat the tiger, to, to go a different way, like to climb sideways. Maybe don't fall down, don't go up, but climb sideways. Anything. Find some, you know, some other way, wherever the strawberry came from.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And again, the things that are interesting is when I, I remember speaking with a friend about this, but one of the many, singers I'm fond of in the metal arenas, very versatile. He's a pilot. He's was on the fencing team for his country. He's a great singer, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And I've lately been less enthused with him. , but he had cancer and it was amazing. Like I looked over at the guy and he's like, yeah, it's in remission. And I was, I was like, of course it is. Because it was never in doubt that it would be, he's got such <strong>a positive attitude towards life.</strong> Who is this? The Bruce Dickinson.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. . And then I actually recently Flo out Flo, Floor Jansen, who's, Ooh, the best female singer, period. Alive today. Oh, I said it. She had cancer as well. She beat it again, positive attitude cuz she has a very positive attitude too. So it's, you know, it's about, a lot of, it's about attitude. A lot of it's about, you know, there , there's a million pithy sayings.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Of course,<strong> inside of all of us, there are two wolves. There is the Wolf of Hope and the Wolf of Fear. Which one are you gonna feed?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And we can say that coming from personal experience and Matt's done this, do you mind if I say sort of, sort of, sort of, there was a point where Matt was in the hospital and they basically were like, that's it, and Matt beat it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and you said you throughout the whole process, you didn't doubt </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Not for a second, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> not for a second. And I remember there was one point at the height of it where they were like rushing around and they, they were taking you into surgery for like the second. and it looked really crazy bad. And they told me, whatever they told me, I just looked at you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's like something took over me and my voice and I looked at you. I said, you're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And you were, I mean, by some miracle, like it was such a, a miracle that today I still feel like. , did it actually happen or did I collapse into some sort of delirium over losing you that I'm living this dream life where we're living together? Do you know what I'm saying? The, the, the impact of that, that moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. was so scary that it's changed me forever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I get it. However, if you were living that dream life, I probably wouldn't piss you off so much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Okay, so , so I, I, I bring this up just to say that we're, we're speaking from personal experience and it is a mindset. And if you have trouble with that mindset, lean on us.<strong> Find people out there. And like I said, you are always surrounded by them. You are always surrounded by people that are your friends.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>They're also looking for you, and all you have to do is just say hello or look at them longer than you normally would, and when they notice you looking at them, share your heart with a genuine smile. I emphasize the word genuine. Let it come from your heart, from the way you're you're feeling. So it may not be as happy smile, but if it's a genuine smile, the smile could convey, yes, you're in pain, but you're, you're very happy to be in the presence of this other human being.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>And that is the spark of friendship right there. </strong>Am I wrong? You're right anything you wanna add to that? Matt, you, you had a different definition for auger. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, an augur, nevermind. It's not with eu, it's with an ee. So it's it, it all gets </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> tricky. So many spellings, so many different things. Language is very holy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Language is holy. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, it goes through evolutions. If, if we all spoke the same language, that was exactly the way it was spoken 2000 years ago, you know, there'd be a lot less, whatever, 10,000 years ago, whatever it is, there'd be a lot less kind of confusion about it really, you know, really you think?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> except for we would do things like we'd call computers. They'd have a very long name. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well be coming from the culture I come from, you know, I've been speaking with some friends that also speak the language that I was born speaking. Mm-hmm. , there are so many words that you cannot translate into English.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. They're always, there's really frustra. . It's really frustrating because in one word you would probably need three sentences in English to describe that one word. Yes. And there are certain words that just don't even exist in other languages. It's just, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> vice versa. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So the only thing we can depend on is the language of the heart, which is emotion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. And you can do that in total silence, like I said. Smiling. You know, there's one way through looking at each other in the eyes. But what do you do when you're blind? You can still feel it. You can feel the energetic field and all the information that's in there. You can feel it. Matt is looking weird right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What's that look for? Nothing in particular. Am I being too </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> hippy? No, I was just thinking about my God. So when I was in high school, just to completely diffuse what you were saying, which is terrible and I shouldn't do this, but we were literally taught, I was in Spanish class and we were literally taught the brown was Color de cafe, which is the color of coffee as opposed to maron, which is another way of speaking it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But anyways, I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We'll have no idea what what I was saying, but that's it. Do you have anything else to add? Every time we're done with a podcast episode and I press the stop button, he's like, but you didn't give me a chance to say this. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That's right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So what is it now?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Nothing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What? Just, you always say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. So I've been through literally everything that you had in mind, except my quote for Terminator two. What?<strong> No fate, but what we make. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> All right,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I have no idea how I was gonna squeeze that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> one in. And, and that's it. It's like, please, let's stop having the pack mentality of doom and gloom. And if everyone else is like, oh, terribleness, let's just start a party. and. and we, I, I do believe that that kind of thing can transform where we're headed and where we're headed is a peaceful, loving, fun time, a clean time where the earth is, well taken care of, that all human beings, all living beings are taken care of, that everything is love that everything is copacetic, . Anyway, love you guys. Thanks for listening. That's it for today. I think. Reach out to us and talk to me or to Matt and you know how to do that, just go to our website, our Friendly World. What is it again, Matt , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think so. . Oh dear. Anyway, it's in the link below. Sorry we just had so many. We've had so many websites. Okay. Talk to you guys later. Thank you for listening. Be well. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Today's topic is having anxiety about the future. Let's fix our mental and physical posture. Are we looking at the future that's not good but we're forced to pursue? This brings us to the one word for the podcast episode today, which is Auger. What does it mean and how can it help shape our fate? Are we truly hopeful about the future? Are we OK with the direction that life is taking? It's about where are we going or not going. Is something happening too fast? Is something changing in your life that doesn't feel right? How many of us are feeling these things, and what can we do about it?
     Sometimes the future doesn't seem so great, especially when we rely on mass behavior, mass consciousness behavior, and the pack mentality. It seems to go towards a fearful area, which never bodes well. So what can we do? 
     Have you noticed that in history, things could be really, really rough, but there are people who can find ways to laugh, find ways to appreciate and find ways to enjoy life? That's where friendship comes in. Even going to a coffee shop or going somewhere that is peaceful and nourishing where people congregate and ask for the nourishment in that. Living and enjoying within the precise moment being completely in the now completely.Thought Exercise: At this moment are you warm enough? At the moment are you not safe? In this precise moment are you not surrounded by love? No matter how dire the situation, if you can bring it to that moment, you're still alive and you're still breathing. There is still hope, there is still peace with you. So, Thinking about that and if you can get yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, that calms and soothes you. Can you relish in that and with the company of someone else? Can you try to think of things that are funny?     Let's look at the future in a positive way, because we're going to create it to be that way. We're not going to listen to the doom that's been prognosticated. We're gonna create a better future. We're gonna hang out with some cool people. We're gonna find them if we don't have them, we're gonna seek them out and find them, because trust me, they're out there looking for us. And we're going to laugh in the face of doom and gloom and create a better future together. And that is true art right there, friends!     Inside of all of us, there are two wolves. There is the Wolf of Hope and the Wolf of Fear. Which one are you gonna feed?     Find people out there. You are always surrounded by people that are your friends. They're also looking for you, and all you have to do is just say hello or look at them longer than you normally would, and when they notice you looking at them, share your heart with a genuine smile. I emphasize the word genuine. Let it come from your heart, from the way you're feeling. So it may not be a happy smile, but if it's a genuine smile, the smile could convey, yes, you're in pain, but you're, you're very happy to be in the presence of this other human being. And that is the spark of friendship right there.  REMEMBER: No fate, but what we make.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
CALL TO ACTION: PLEASE SHARE OUR PODCAST WITH OTHERS#ZenStories, #aPositiveAttitudeTowardsLife, #NoFateButWhatWeMake, #Auger, #TwoWolves, #TheArtOfFriendship, #OurFriendlyWorldWithFawnAndMattPodcast, #ArtOfFriendship, #PickingUpOnMassConsciousness, 
...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:26:31</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Me, We - The Shortest Poem in History and Muhammad Ali on Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Feb 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
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                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1405931</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/me-we-the-shortest-poem-in-history-and-muhammad-ali-on-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school, but if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you haven't learned anything"- Muhammad Ali. <br /><br />" Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought nor sold, but its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold. For gold is cold and lifeless. It can neither see nor hear. In times of trouble, it's powerless cheer. It has no ears to listen, no heart to understand. It cannot bring you comfort or reach out a helping hand. So when you ask God for a gift, be thankful if sends not diamonds, pearls, or riches but the love of real, true friends."- Muhammad Ali on friendship.<br /><br /> Be honest and open about how you're feeling, and sometimes you need to express things that you know, that certain things that come outta your mouth sound terrible, but you need to unwrap it and understand why you're having these feelings. It doesn't mean that they're true, but there are so many things to unwrap. There are so many things to understand. It feels complicated,<br /><br /><br /><br />"Me, We" back to our community, back to the world is a small town and everyone is your friend. It sounds like everybody's your friend...weeeeee! No. Some friends are nasty, but they still guide you to where you need to be.<br /><br />Everyone says, oh, that's where friendships are made, is in school. That it's so much harder to make friends when you're older that the kids are so lucky because that's the opportunity and it's really not. It's like you're forced to be in a situation and these are acquaintances. You're not really thinking about true friendship and what is true friendship, and you're not taught relationships. We're not taught in school the most vital thing to learn to do anything in your life. We need to relearn how to relate to one another. How we can understand one another. How can we be heard? How can we be good listeners? How? There are so many “hows,” and we're not taught any of that. It's straight to reading, writing, and arithmetic. And maybe if you're lucky enough, if the school's gifted enough, some art; which is so backward.<br /><br />What do we do when the world/life looks and feels like it's beyond repair? Some examples are global warming, disasters, climate change...you know what I'm saying? It's such a mammoth thing to take on as opposed to realizing that we are infinite beings. We are powerful beyond measure. We are supernatural. By mere imagination, we can create so much beauty and transformation within a second, a split second.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Fawn has been on overload the past few days and she breaks down on this episode. And although she can't talk about exactly what the issue is at this point, perhaps you can relate to the emotion.<br /><br /> So how can we learn friendship? Well, you listen to our podcast. “The meaning of friendship” definitely needs to be a huge subject taught in school and not just taught one time, but starting from preschool and keep going through college. It needs to be a huge curriculum.<br /><br /> What does it mean to be a friend? What does it really mean? You don't have to answer that right now, but let's contemplate that. Let's explore it. Let's ask our other friends, what is the meaning of friendship. Let's come back to it. What do you think?<br /><br /> Also, putting ourselves out there to be open to making new friends is like working out. It's a muscle and sometimes you don't wanna do it. And sometimes it hurts after a workout. It feels like you're not doing anything, but it's like, ow. I use muscles I normally don't use. So sometimes it can be a little painful, and uncomfortable, but you grow, and you get stronger.<br /><br />Pay attention. Keep yourself open.<br /></strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA["Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school, but if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you haven't learned anything"- Muhammad Ali. " Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought nor sold, but its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold. For gold is cold and lifeless. It can neither see nor hear. In times of trouble, it's powerless cheer. It has no ears to listen, no heart to understand. It cannot bring you comfort or reach out a helping hand. So when you ask God for a gift, be thankful if sends not diamonds, pearls, or riches but the love of real, true friends."- Muhammad Ali on friendship. Be honest and open about how you're feeling, and sometimes you need to express things that you know, that certain things that come outta your mouth sound terrible, but you need to unwrap it and understand why you're having these feelings. It doesn't mean that they're true, but there are so many things to unwrap. There are so many things to understand. It feels complicated,"Me, We" back to our community, back to the world is a small town and everyone is your friend. It sounds like everybody's your friend...weeeeee! No. Some friends are nasty, but they still guide you to where you need to be.Everyone says, oh, that's where friendships are made, is in school. That it's so much harder to make friends when you're older that the kids are so lucky because that's the opportunity and it's really not. It's like you're forced to be in a situation and these are acquaintances. You're not really thinking about true friendship and what is true friendship, and you're not taught relationships. We're not taught in school the most vital thing to learn to do anything in your life. We need to relearn how to relate to one another. How we can understand one another. How can we be heard? How can we be good listeners? How? There are so many “hows,” and we're not taught any of that. It's straight to reading, writing, and arithmetic. And maybe if you're lucky enough, if the school's gifted enough, some art; which is so backward.What do we do when the world/life looks and feels like it's beyond repair? Some examples are global warming, disasters, climate change...you know what I'm saying? It's such a mammoth thing to take on as opposed to realizing that we are infinite beings. We are powerful beyond measure. We are supernatural. By mere imagination, we can create so much beauty and transformation within a second, a split second.
Fawn has been on overload the past few days and she breaks down on this episode. And although she can't talk about exactly what the issue is at this point, perhaps you can relate to the emotion. So how can we learn friendship? Well, you listen to our podcast. “The meaning of friendship” definitely needs to be a huge subject taught in school and not just taught one time, but starting from preschool and keep going through college. It needs to be a huge curriculum. What does it mean to be a friend? What does it really mean? You don't have to answer that right now, but let's contemplate that. Let's explore it. Let's ask our other friends, what is the meaning of friendship. Let's come back to it. What do you think? Also, putting ourselves out there to be open to making new friends is like working out. It's a muscle and sometimes you don't wanna do it. And sometimes it hurts after a workout. It feels like you're not doing anything, but it's like, ow. I use muscles I normally don't use. So sometimes it can be a little painful, and uncomfortable, but you grow, and you get stronger.Pay attention. Keep yourself open.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
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                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Me, We - The Shortest Poem in History and Muhammad Ali on Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school, but if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you haven't learned anything"- Muhammad Ali. <br /><br />" Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought nor sold, but its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold. For gold is cold and lifeless. It can neither see nor hear. In times of trouble, it's powerless cheer. It has no ears to listen, no heart to understand. It cannot bring you comfort or reach out a helping hand. So when you ask God for a gift, be thankful if sends not diamonds, pearls, or riches but the love of real, true friends."- Muhammad Ali on friendship.<br /><br /> Be honest and open about how you're feeling, and sometimes you need to express things that you know, that certain things that come outta your mouth sound terrible, but you need to unwrap it and understand why you're having these feelings. It doesn't mean that they're true, but there are so many things to unwrap. There are so many things to understand. It feels complicated,<br /><br /><br /><br />"Me, We" back to our community, back to the world is a small town and everyone is your friend. It sounds like everybody's your friend...weeeeee! No. Some friends are nasty, but they still guide you to where you need to be.<br /><br />Everyone says, oh, that's where friendships are made, is in school. That it's so much harder to make friends when you're older that the kids are so lucky because that's the opportunity and it's really not. It's like you're forced to be in a situation and these are acquaintances. You're not really thinking about true friendship and what is true friendship, and you're not taught relationships. We're not taught in school the most vital thing to learn to do anything in your life. We need to relearn how to relate to one another. How we can understand one another. How can we be heard? How can we be good listeners? How? There are so many “hows,” and we're not taught any of that. It's straight to reading, writing, and arithmetic. And maybe if you're lucky enough, if the school's gifted enough, some art; which is so backward.<br /><br />What do we do when the world/life looks and feels like it's beyond repair? Some examples are global warming, disasters, climate change...you know what I'm saying? It's such a mammoth thing to take on as opposed to realizing that we are infinite beings. We are powerful beyond measure. We are supernatural. By mere imagination, we can create so much beauty and transformation within a second, a split second.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Fawn has been on overload the past few days and she breaks down on this episode. And although she can't talk about exactly what the issue is at this point, perhaps you can relate to the emotion.<br /><br /> So how can we learn friendship? Well, you listen to our podcast. “The meaning of friendship” definitely needs to be a huge subject taught in school and not just taught one time, but starting from preschool and keep going through college. It needs to be a huge curriculum.<br /><br /> What does it mean to be a friend? What does it really mean? You don't have to answer that right now, but let's contemplate that. Let's explore it. Let's ask our other friends, what is the meaning of friendship. Let's come back to it. What do you think?<br /><br /> Also, putting ourselves out there to be open to making new friends is like working out. It's a muscle and sometimes you don't wanna do it. And sometimes it hurts after a workout. It feels like you're not doing anything, but it's like, ow. I use muscles I normally don't use. So sometimes it can be a little painful, and uncomfortable, but you grow, and you get stronger.<br /><br />Pay attention. Keep yourself open.<br /></strong></span></span>Pick up your free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends here: </p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> Leave us a kind review, reach out to us, and have a beautiful every day!</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#ShortestPoemInHistory #<span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Muhammad Ali #FawnAnderson #OurFriendlyWorldwithFawnAndMatt #TheArtOfFriendship #MeWe #TheMeaningOfFriendship #MuhammadAliQuotes</span></span> </strong></span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA["Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school, but if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you haven't learned anything"- Muhammad Ali. " Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought nor sold, but its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold. For gold is cold and lifeless. It can neither see nor hear. In times of trouble, it's powerless cheer. It has no ears to listen, no heart to understand. It cannot bring you comfort or reach out a helping hand. So when you ask God for a gift, be thankful if sends not diamonds, pearls, or riches but the love of real, true friends."- Muhammad Ali on friendship. Be honest and open about how you're feeling, and sometimes you need to express things that you know, that certain things that come outta your mouth sound terrible, but you need to unwrap it and understand why you're having these feelings. It doesn't mean that they're true, but there are so many things to unwrap. There are so many things to understand. It feels complicated,"Me, We" back to our community, back to the world is a small town and everyone is your friend. It sounds like everybody's your friend...weeeeee! No. Some friends are nasty, but they still guide you to where you need to be.Everyone says, oh, that's where friendships are made, is in school. That it's so much harder to make friends when you're older that the kids are so lucky because that's the opportunity and it's really not. It's like you're forced to be in a situation and these are acquaintances. You're not really thinking about true friendship and what is true friendship, and you're not taught relationships. We're not taught in school the most vital thing to learn to do anything in your life. We need to relearn how to relate to one another. How we can understand one another. How can we be heard? How can we be good listeners? How? There are so many “hows,” and we're not taught any of that. It's straight to reading, writing, and arithmetic. And maybe if you're lucky enough, if the school's gifted enough, some art; which is so backward.What do we do when the world/life looks and feels like it's beyond repair? Some examples are global warming, disasters, climate change...you know what I'm saying? It's such a mammoth thing to take on as opposed to realizing that we are infinite beings. We are powerful beyond measure. We are supernatural. By mere imagination, we can create so much beauty and transformation within a second, a split second.
Fawn has been on overload the past few days and she breaks down on this episode. And although she can't talk about exactly what the issue is at this point, perhaps you can relate to the emotion. So how can we learn friendship? Well, you listen to our podcast. “The meaning of friendship” definitely needs to be a huge subject taught in school and not just taught one time, but starting from preschool and keep going through college. It needs to be a huge curriculum. What does it mean to be a friend? What does it really mean? You don't have to answer that right now, but let's contemplate that. Let's explore it. Let's ask our other friends, what is the meaning of friendship. Let's come back to it. What do you think? Also, putting ourselves out there to be open to making new friends is like working out. It's a muscle and sometimes you don't wanna do it. And sometimes it hurts after a workout. It feels like you're not doing anything, but it's like, ow. I use muscles I normally don't use. So sometimes it can be a little painful, and uncomfortable, but you grow, and you get stronger.Pay attention. Keep yourself open.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1405931/Me-We-Shortest-poem-in-history.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Love and Hate - How to Heal a Broken Heart with Barry Lane]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Feb 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1393384</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/love-and-hate-how-to-heal-a-broken-heart-with-barry-lane</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Barry Lane, the ambassador of love and kindness, troubadour for loving-kindness is with us again, this time from Uvalde, Texas. Barry travels all over the place and he not only teaches kindness, but he spreads kindness everywhere. He goes to schools. He works with children, he's given TED Talks.<br /><br />In this episode, we discuss what is stronger love or hate?  How do you mend a broken heart? Where to find love when it seems all we see is a "prickly cactus"?<br /><br /><br />Everybody is operating from some sort of trauma. Everyone has pain.  Everyone's doing their best going through whatever they're going through. EVERYONE is literally operating at their highest capacity. Now, that may not mean that they're operating to your standards, to your standards, they're just operating from the best way that they can live. And that goes with friendship. </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Barry is visiting with the children and teachers who were inside the massacre at Uvalde and we take some time to discuss how we can heal, and how we can be there for each other to create a loving world despite what we are experiencing that is far from kind. We find out where love lives. We take a love pledge.</span></span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This episode will soothe and nourish you. Barry sings to us. Make sure to listen to the very last song at the end of the episode. It will help.<br /><br />#WhatIsStrongerLoveOrHate  #Uvalde #LoveIsEternal #HealingABrokenHeart<br /><br /></strong></span></span><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-with-special-guest-barry-lane/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-with-special-guest-barry-lane/</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-finding-freedom-and-truth-during-a-tumultuous-time-with-barry-lane/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-finding-freedom-and-truth-during-a-tumultuous-time-with-barry-lane/</a></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>To Reach Barry:<br /><br /><a href="https://www.barrylane.com/">https://www.barrylane.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><a href="https://www.forcefieldforgood.com/">https://www.forcefieldforgood.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzimmQaLzo8">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzimmQaLzo8</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Love and Hate and How to Heal a Broken Heart with Barry Lane - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hello everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Welcome back. We have a beautiful, beautiful surprise for you today. Our friend Barry is back. Barry is here. Hi Barry. </span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Barry Lane, the ambassador of love and kindness, troubadour for loving-kindness is with us again, this time from Uvalde, Texas. Barry travels all over the place and he not only teaches kindness, but he spreads kindness everywhere. He goes to schools. He works with children, he's given TED Talks.In this episode, we discuss what is stronger love or hate?  How do you mend a broken heart? Where to find love when it seems all we see is a "prickly cactus"?Everybody is operating from some sort of trauma. Everyone has pain.  Everyone's doing their best going through whatever they're going through. EVERYONE is literally operating at their highest capacity. Now, that may not mean that they're operating to your standards, to your standards, they're just operating from the best way that they can live. And that goes with friendship. 
Barry is visiting with the children and teachers who were inside the massacre at Uvalde and we take some time to discuss how we can heal, and how we can be there for each other to create a loving world despite what we are experiencing that is far from kind. We find out where love lives. We take a love pledge.
This episode will soothe and nourish you. Barry sings to us. Make sure to listen to the very last song at the end of the episode. It will help.#WhatIsStrongerLoveOrHate  #Uvalde #LoveIsEternal #HealingABrokenHearthttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-with-special-guest-barry-lane/
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-finding-freedom-and-truth-during-a-tumultuous-time-with-barry-lane/
 
To Reach Barry:https://www.barrylane.com/
https://www.forcefieldforgood.com/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzimmQaLzo8
 
Love and Hate and How to Heal a Broken Heart with Barry Lane - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] FAWN: Hello everybody.
[00:00:01] MATT: Hello. 
[00:00:01] FAWN: Welcome back. We have a beautiful, beautiful surprise for you today. Our friend Barry is back. Barry is here. Hi Barry. ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Love and Hate - How to Heal a Broken Heart with Barry Lane]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Barry Lane, the ambassador of love and kindness, troubadour for loving-kindness is with us again, this time from Uvalde, Texas. Barry travels all over the place and he not only teaches kindness, but he spreads kindness everywhere. He goes to schools. He works with children, he's given TED Talks.<br /><br />In this episode, we discuss what is stronger love or hate?  How do you mend a broken heart? Where to find love when it seems all we see is a "prickly cactus"?<br /><br /><br />Everybody is operating from some sort of trauma. Everyone has pain.  Everyone's doing their best going through whatever they're going through. EVERYONE is literally operating at their highest capacity. Now, that may not mean that they're operating to your standards, to your standards, they're just operating from the best way that they can live. And that goes with friendship. </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Barry is visiting with the children and teachers who were inside the massacre at Uvalde and we take some time to discuss how we can heal, and how we can be there for each other to create a loving world despite what we are experiencing that is far from kind. We find out where love lives. We take a love pledge.</span></span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>This episode will soothe and nourish you. Barry sings to us. Make sure to listen to the very last song at the end of the episode. It will help.<br /><br />#WhatIsStrongerLoveOrHate  #Uvalde #LoveIsEternal #HealingABrokenHeart<br /><br /></strong></span></span><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-with-special-guest-barry-lane/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-with-special-guest-barry-lane/</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-finding-freedom-and-truth-during-a-tumultuous-time-with-barry-lane/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-finding-freedom-and-truth-during-a-tumultuous-time-with-barry-lane/</a></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>To Reach Barry:<br /><br /><a href="https://www.barrylane.com/">https://www.barrylane.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><a href="https://www.forcefieldforgood.com/">https://www.forcefieldforgood.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzimmQaLzo8">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzimmQaLzo8</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Love and Hate and How to Heal a Broken Heart with Barry Lane - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hello everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Welcome back. We have a beautiful, beautiful surprise for you today. Our friend Barry is back. Barry is here. Hi Barry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Hi. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Great to be back. So good to have you back. You all know Barry came to visit us when we moved. Barry is a dear friend of ours, he's a family member. He's also been on our podcast before, a few times.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> A couple times, right? I wanna say the first one was, um, I think it was February 28th, 2021, . And then the last one was when we were going through total hardship. It was April of 2022. And we were talking about hardship in the world and how you can still find happiness and kindness even though the world is in such turmoil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And we talked about love, of course. Barry, of course, if you remember, if you don't just go back to the previous episodes, the links are in the notes and on our podcast. Type in <strong>Barry Lane</strong> and you'll find the other episodes, but <strong>what you associate with Barry</strong>, our friend Barry <strong>is a kind world</strong>.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>He is the ambassador of love and kindness</strong> . He's actually, what were we riffing on? <strong>The Ambassador and trubador for loving kindness.</strong> The Jim Morrison of Kindness, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:30]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Open Door to Kindness, which led us to Jim Morrison of the Doors. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Of course. Sorry. Sorry guys. We were totally having a conversation before we actually pressed the record button.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So Barry is here. Everyone, welcome back Barry. Hi Barry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Thank you riders on the storm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>Barry travels all over the place and he not only teaches kindness, but he spreads kindness everywhere. He goes to schools. He works with children, </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:02]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> <strong>he's given TED Talks. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You could find more about Barry, just go to forcefield for good.com. Everything, all the links are in our show notes . So we've been talking to Barry. We talk to Barry all the time. Thank goodness. We love him so much. So what we were riffing on yesterday was. The following, <strong>what is stronger love or hate?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Which is something Matt talks about all the time. ,<strong> what is stronger love or hate? How do you know this? How do you mend a broken heart, which we also got into last week, how do you mend a broken heart? Uh, where does love? , how do you find love in all the wrong places?</strong> How do you find love in all the wrong places?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:48]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. That sounds like Country Western Song, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>And the big question, should we even look</strong> right? That's a big one, right? Wow. Of course we should, but it's interesting. Should we or shouldn't we? I don't know. Let's talk to Barry. Barry. Hello. Welcome </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> back. I was thinking about that song when, when I, whenever I think of that song, I think of Eddie Murphy doing his riff on that song.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Eddie Murphy. Yeah, he did. If you're looking it up, you'll see it online. He looking for love in all the wrong places. Is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> that when he did his own album? Is that his singing album? Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> he had this voice he used to do, he had this kind of voice, but, but uh, yeah. It's funny because that song. actually. When you think about that song, what do you think about, you think, what's the wrong place to look for love?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> You know, of course a song like that might be don't find your boyfriend or girlfriend in a bar or something like that. But maybe the deeper level of that is do you look for love and that prickly person that you just met, you know, or who, who said something unkind to you or whatever. And um, I always think of Anne of Green Gables when I think of</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> that kind of thing. Anna, I know that that's one of Matt's favorite books. Hey, I have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:05]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> read Anna Green Gables. Okay. We have, I have, I have two daughters. So it's really, it's important to, you know, look at, you know, seminal works for young readers, period. And that was one I did not read as a young man. Or as a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:19]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> young boy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:20]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> wonderful. Well, you know, there's a school marmee lady, I don't even know where her name was. I, I didn't even read it. I just watched the PBS show, . Uh, but the, uh, but there was a school marmee lady that always gives Anne a real hard time, and she's busting her chops all the time, and she's trying to do creative teaching in a school that, you know, she wants all the trains to run on time and she's just being nasty and she's so unkind to her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Right. And even. , uh, her reaction to her is she doesn't like, she doesn't take revenge on her. She says, just come to Green Gables and coming to Green Gables you<strong> see the layer, </strong>she starts to unlayer that woman and you start to see underneath her prickliness. I was just in Tucson yesterday.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> <strong>Underneath that prickly cactus inside, there's all this sweet juice</strong> that's just... in Israel that's what they call Sabras. They call people who live in Israel, young people sabras, which is after the cactus, in other words,<strong> on the outside, the rough and rugged on inside their sweet and juice.</strong> And, and you start to see her face change and everything about her changes, when she learns to let down that thing, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Our society trains people I think to "other" people like that, those are the people, people backed by about, do you believe that woman, what she said to her, you know, Anne would be like talking trash about her all the time to other, if she was like, you know, on Facebook, you know, do you believe that lady?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> She says, think she's a teacher, or she does, is like ragg on the kids, whatever. What's wrong with her? You know, whatever. But you know, no, she. , she looks for love there, you know, and certainly she finds it because sometimes you find what you're looking for. Um, sometimes , it's as simple as that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Yeah. You find it what you're looking for. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:13]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, yeah. Especially for me, I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:15]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> like the more prickly the person, it's like once you actually. get into it and really get a sense of starting to understand them, those can be the most loyal people. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . And they're so strong in their beliefs, and they're so strong as far as like rushing to defend you and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:35]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I mean, they're very honest and open because, you know, here I am, deal with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> me, . Mm-hmm. , I think they're more open because it's rare to have someone actually give the time, give them the time of day. You know, it's rare to have someone just be there and not have judgment and just be there and keep gracing them with attention, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You know, with a loving, kind, soft silent gaze. You know, without any judgment. And I think that when they realize that you're doing that, yeah, they are loyal to you. And I think it's also, the whole thing comes about of people not being noticed as kind when they're, they seem prickly is because there's such a lack of time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I think people just don't give it enough of that. They don't give enough time to get to know a person, and they have very good reason for being prickly. You know, they have been hurt so much. But I think if we just allow for that grace that it shows up on both sides. Uh, they open up and we end up seeing something amazing, and if we just keep going through, always in a hurry, not noticing the beauty,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> right. Then. Yeah. We miss all these beautiful people that are quite lovely, right. Barry . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Yeah. It's sort of a, I, how would you describe it? You know, I, and I worked a lot my, most of my career, I still do. I work with teachers about teaching writing, and elementary school teachers are very different than high school English teachers, , , high school English teachers,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> they can be like, you know, like storm troopers for grammar or whatever it is, right? But they tend to, but they also tend to have a much higher sense of themselves as professionals, which is a good thing sometimes, you know, I think sometimes, and I think they can be a lot more prickly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And I think sometimes people are prickly because they have, like you say, cuz they have a good reason to be. And so maybe someone like Brene Brown, I think I heard her talk recently and she talked about like, um, can we assume that everybody is doing the best they can? As soon as you make that assumption, as soon as you make that assumption, all judgment</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> is just disappears. But, it's so easy to other, you know, I, yes. I want to make this bumper sticker that said more mothering, less othering. . Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:16]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> uh, Fawn says all the time, everybody's working at their highest capacity. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Someone told me that I remember being mad at someone and I wanted this person to be on my side about it and go, yeah, Fawn, that was terrible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh, but they didn't, they're like, they're doing the very best they can. I'm like, how can you say that about this person? And I don't remember what the situation was, but it happened a lot with different people. And she basically told me, look, everybody's operating at their highest capacity. So, and then it made me think of all the other people that I've met who, who mentioned that, you know, this is before the term hurt people, hurt people</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> became known, but like for example, I was working at a design studio and there was this one vendor who would come in and show us whatever we needed to work with, with tiles and things like that. And he was so gruff and he was so mean. He was mean . And one of the designers I worked with just turned to me and said, you know what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think he's in pain, physical pain. Oh. And as soon as she mentioned that the next time we saw him, he was in pain. Like no amount of, um, no amount of, uh, medication could relieve the pain he was in and it was constant and he had to still work and go meet people and drive across town and Right. Lift heavy things and be kind constantly cuz he was in sales.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. . . But as soon as he realized that, we realized that he was nice to us. . . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Because you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:55]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> were nice to him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, because we realized something was going on, right? We realized something beyond the superficial like robotic thing that we all have to go through cuz you have to work and you have to present a face and you have to get your job done.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You're not a human being. Do you know what I'm saying? Like you have to just get your job done, suck it up. Right. And like, don't show your, don't show any emotion. Don't show your true self. Get the job done well, you just have to get the job done right? And so anyway, that's where I first heard that. And then, then I heard from our other friend who was like, look, everyone's doing their best.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And made me think of like the family I grew up with. And I'm like, yes, that's something I've been thinking about my whole life, but I only thought about my family, but that's really the whole world. <strong>Everybody is operating from some sort of trauma ev. Everyone has pain. You're a human being. You're gonna have all the flavors, you're gonna have all the emotions living on planet Earth and everyone's doing their best going through whatever they're going through.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>They're literally quite operating at their highest capacity. Now, that may not mean that they're operating to your standards, to your standards, they're just operating from the best way that they can live.</strong> Do you know what I'm saying? Absolutely.<strong> And that goes with friendship. Like I have the highest standards for friends, and I've come to realize that</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>most people don't have the same standards I do. And as soon as I can come to terms with that, then I actually can find friends better because there's less pressure that people feel from me and there's less pressure that I feel from the world.</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> I think it's a, I've been teaching kids about . UMBUNTU mm. You guys say it? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. like a bun bun, but, but yeah. 2, 2, 2, 2. It's cool. It's a cool, it has a word that has three Us in it, very in English, but it very rarely have that. How do you spell it? And it's a word, U M B U N T U. It's I can't do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> I can't do the clicks. But it's a Kosi word, South Africa. It's a word that Desmond Tutu always talked about in South Africa, which is the Umbuntu spirit of the people. And this is what I've learned, actually wrote a song about it. Do you wanna hear the song? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yes, please. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Oh yeah. Okay. Here's a song it's called.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> it's called The Umbutu Song, . So in English, we don't have a word for this. You'd have to almost say a whole paragraph. You'd have to say it's about seeing other peoples as if they are you. You could say a simplest way I've heard it put is I am because we are, And I said that to my wife, who's my best song critic, Carol Lee and I, and she said, well, that's true, but it's also true that we are because I am.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And, and, uh, so here's the song. It's called </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank you, Barry. Ah, it's always </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:41]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> nice to have a performance on the show. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank you so much, Barry. We love you so much. So let's go back to the first question. <strong>What is stronger love or hate?</strong> . Mm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:52]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> God. It's difficult to weigh in, isn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it? What does that even mean, that question? So when you pose that question, Barry, what were you thinking?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Well, I do this to kids all the time. Actually. It's a part of the work that I do with the force field for good, especially with old, older kids. It's not a question you wanna pop on a kindergartner all the time. But it is, it's one of the, those great philosophical questions. And , in elementary school, almost unanimously, kids will say love almost.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. by reflex, you know? Right. Uh, unless there's things going on in, in town and things are happening, and I can give examples of that, but I'm working in Uvalde, Texas tomorrow. Mm-hmm. going back again. I was there in September, you know, and there they had a quite, it was like a Voldemort experience, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> That happened there. If you know the Harry Potter books, where there was a very, of course, horrible thing. Uh, you know, horrific thing that happened and continues to happen so many places in America. And so the next question, so I was at a school in Minnesota, but before I went to <strong>Uvalde</strong>, I</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> didn't know how to prepare cuz here is September. Well how do you prepare for something like that? Basically school ended after the shooting. And here we are going in September and I'm gonna be the <strong>first person to meet all these kids and teachers. And uh, how do you prepare for that?</strong> And, uh, The only way I realized it wasn't about me doing a performance. I realized I had to get all ego out of the way and just make myself like a hollow reed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> There's a high prayer. It goes like this, oh God, make me a hollow reed from which the pith of self hath been blown. Sort of like, how do I become a channel for healing or for God's light or for whatever you want to call it. You don't have to use the word God. You could say just the force of light and for healing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And so I prayed and prayed about that and some amazing things happened there, which I'm not gonna go into all of it, but I would say, because of that, experience, but, Two months before I had gone to a school in Minnesota and I'd asked the question, what's stronger love or hate? And this was a fifth grade class that they were older kids.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And this little girl goes, well hate because hate can crush your heart. And then I thought, wow. And then that stuck in my mind. I, I try to, Wow. You know, talk more about it with her, with the class. And we talked about it more and tried to, to make a good pitch for love , like Right, of course. But salesman.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Salesman. But now, but it, but it stuck with me that question, and I thought, and when I went to Uvalde in September, I got the answer you to that. I got the answer. And in other words, the answer, you can get the, you can say, well, love is stronger because of blah, blah, blah, or, and it is, it's love is, but I got the answer and I can share that with you guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Yes, please. After this, After this commercial break, , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> excuse me. . Uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> oh dear. No, no. It sounds like a, it sounds like I have the answer, but the answer is really more of a question, which is, uh, the answer is that love, when you have love in your heart. So one of the things I do with kids, do a little meditation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> We sit and, um, my friend, um, Michael Jolly, he created this wonderful meditation app, which I'll give a plug for. It's called Solu, s o l u l s o l u. And it's, you can get it on your phone and uh, whatever. And we sit and I have kids, we do a, a pledge allegiance to their heart. The very last class I taught in Uvalde, which kind of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Uh, something magical happened. Uh, um, I wrote on the board, I pledge allegiance to my heart and I said, what if we wrote a pledge allegiance to my heart cuz I was in, this is Texas, you not only do the pledge allegiance to the country, you do the pledge to Texas too. Wow. They have two pledges they do in the morning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And uh, and I remember, you know, I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands one nation under God, which was put in by Eisenhower, by the way, indivisible or we used to always say invisible . One invisible nation that no one can see. , uh, with liberty and justice for all, you know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And I said, what if we did a pledge for the heart? So I put my hands, but instead of doing one hand, do both actually hold your heart, you know, that expression hold your heart in your hands. And we do that when we sat. And this is how this work has gone for me, cuz I started doing that when I heard a friend of mine, Helen Matheney, she has some work she does called Be Kind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> It's like a thing. And she told me there's some in Vietnam doing this heart meditation with kids and just watching kids with their eyes closed, with their hands, holding their heart is a much very powerful image just to see. So I said, what if we wrote a pledge alegiance to his fifth grade Uvaldi Dual Language Academy?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> They speak English and Spanish. Wonderful school, by the way. I said to them, let's write. Can we write it? I said, yeah, what would the first line be? And this is totally unedited. These are just kids raising their hand. First line: "I will always be true to myself". Wow. Next line another kid puts hand up: "I will show Grace to myself and to others."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Kind of like Anne of Green Gables did to the Mean Lady . Uh, and the next line, love this little girl. She goes:" love will always matter." And then she pauses for a minute and goes, "even when I'm mad". , . And then, and then this next hand goes up in the back of the room, actually had this on video. Somebody videoed it for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> This the last line, last hand goes up and goes, "I won't let the sun go down on my anger." And then, so all I did was add the final line, which is "I will choose the kinder path." I will choose the kinder path. I will choose the kinder path. I did it like a mantra three times. So put your hands over your heart and repeat after me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> I pledge allegiance to my heart. I pledge to, I pledge allegiance to my, my heart. I will always stay true to myself. I, I will always stay true, true to to myself, myself. Love will always matter. Love. Love will always, always, always matter, matter. Even when I'm mad. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Even, even when, when I'm mad, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> mad , I won't let the sun go down on my anger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> will not let the sun, sun go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> down, down on my anger. I will choose the kinder path. I will choose, I will choose the the kinder path I, I will choose the kinder path. I'll choose the kinder path.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> always. We have a thing when we fight someone in the house has to say love is winning . And sometimes we end up yelling it because as soon as we hear it, it kind of makes us laugh. But we're still mad. Even when I'm mad love is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:29]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> winning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> when you think about it, people when they kind of, when. When they fall into what Eckhart Tolle would call unconsciousness with Eckhart Tolle, refuses to use the word evil, which I think is good in a way because evil almost makes it too much of a power. You know, it makes it like, oh, there are these bad villains everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> You know? And maybe there are people who you could call define it evil, but the reality is, uh, unconscious is probably a, more accurate description, you know, because it's really, they're not conscious of their heart or their, or. of, of Umbutu spirit or whatever. Even even the our wonderful golden rule do unto, unto others as you'd have them do unto, unto you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> It, it assumes that there are others. You know, it assumes that, uh, you know, sort of like if it was the Umbutu golden rule would be do unto unto us as you'd have do unto, unto us . It wouldn't assume the othering of the world, you know? Right. And. . And when you make those kinds of, there's a power there that's like Jedi level power to be able to wield that in the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> That was Martin Luther King level power or Mandela. When he gets outta jail and says, I'm not gonna, you know, he's not gonna go, you know, payback's a bitch. He's not going to take it out on you guys. He's gonna say wait a minute. We all make ourselves. We are all one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And, we saw what your hate did to you, and we're not gonna let that hate do it to us to crush our spirits and, uh, and your heart. So you need to build a roof over your heart. So everyone take your index finger now, you guys, and make a heart out of your index finger on both hands. , look at me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Uh, yeah. Make sure you're doing it right. Yeah. . Yeah. You got, now you see you've got the extra fingers. Put your extra fingers on top and now your heart has a. a roof over its head. You know your heart. So there's a song I wrote called Quiet Your Mind, and the, the last verse of that, it was written for Uvalde before I went.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And the story, I don't know, uh, the story about that song is that, uh, I wrote a draft of it and my first draft was more like, Kind of a 60s song and all you need is love. It was kind of like that. And I showed it to my wife and she said, well, it's not very good . And I said, I said, why? She said, because you can't tell kids that everything is okay when horrible things have happened, when their whole lives have fallen apart when their parents are divorced or where they're, someone's died or people have been shot or just horrible things .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> People's world does fall apart. So one of the verse, so she wrote the rewrote the whole, she's amazing. She, she doesn't write, but she rewrites amazingly. Um, there's a verse called, that goes like this, that she wrote, like, uh, there's a calm voice deep within me that whispers in my heart, ear, heart, ear. Uh, when I learn to breathe more slowly, I can teach myself to hear my own inner stillness,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> my own peace of heart, my own loving kindness when my world falls apart. And that line, my world falls apart. She said, could, is that a line in a kid song? You know? And, and we, and I realize, yeah, it is. You know, I, I quiet my mind and leave the past behind. Breathe in, breathe out. Be right here where I can find myself beyond time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> and I have nothing to fear. And that, that, that's what this<strong> song is about, that myself, beyond time, that kids can stand in the truth of the most awful moment and find peace in their heart, and adults can do that too.</strong> Mm-hmm. . And yet it's, uh, it sounds glib to say it, but it, uh, there's a great truth there that you can crush a heart</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> but all the love. So now when I do the heart meditation with kids, I have them do what you just did. Make your heart, put it over your heart, and we'll listen to the tones. And then slowly ra, think of all the people that put love in your heart. You know, your parents, your sister, your dog, your children, your, I don't know what else, who else?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> and, uh, just think about it while you hold your hand over your heart and then make the heart, and then they raise the heart slowly up to eye level and they look at the world through the love in their hearts. And what does the world look like now? You know, just like Lady in Green Gables, when she come, goes to Green Gables and she comes back and all of a sudden she's a different person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> She's seeing the world through this love that she found in her heart. So the very last thing you do, I want you guys to do this too, is hold the heart, your heart, close to your heart, and then watch me. We're gonna do it like, this is like basketball. It's like a, about just basketball. Like this. Just throw. Make your heart open and throw all the love away like confetti.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Go 1, 2, 3, go with your, and you gotta wiggle your fingers when you do it too. You get maximum spread on the love maximum. And this is what I say to kids, and this is the great lesson I learned in Uvaldi in September and I'm going there tomorrow again. That song that about the Heart pledge was the very last class I taught there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And so I'm going back with that, armed with that, to come back into this group of kids and talk about, the lesson I learned was that you've given all your love away. I say this to kids, uh, do it with like, like 400 kids in a, in a cafeteria. You've given all your love away. Now, now your heart is loveless, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> There's nothing left, and, and I just wait, and this girl goes immediately, hands will go no, you have more love now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:51]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You're wrong Barry . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Wait a minute. If I give you all the money in my wallet, would I. , I'd have, I'd be broke. You know, uh, what, how could this be? And, and this little girl, oh my gosh, this little girl in this, in the school in San Antonio, the next week after Uvalde, she looks at me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> She had like pink hair with glitter. She's one of those glitter kid had glitter all over her face. She looked at me and she goes, uh,<strong> LOVE IS ETERNAL</strong>. Hmm. Love goes on. And then she takes her hands and she starts making a window. Forever and ever and ever. , forever and ever. You guys do it forever and ever. Forever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Forever </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and ever and ever. Hallelujah. Forever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Hallelujah. Forever and ever and ever. Yeah. And, uh, and that is the lesson now that I get to teach kids, uh, because now I know the answer to that question, but hate can crush your heart. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Which also, <strong> leads us to healing a broken heart</strong>, can we get more into that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> <strong>How do you heal a broken heart?</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Wow. Oh boy. That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:08]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> great question. I've got, I've got my own. Very long-winded, not long-winded, but I have my own answer for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> this. Well, well, okay. I want, I wanna hear, I wanna hear yours, of course, Matt, but I wanna hear Barry's, I mean, Barry's now, I mean, going to ground zero, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> For the second time since the shooting. since the massacre, since Horrible. What? Okay, so these kids, these kids that you're talking to, experienced all of this, what do you say? What, how, and how do you, how do you heal or broken heart? , you know, a lot of us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> That's a great question. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I mean, and a lot of us are, you know, I find that a lot of people disappear when people go through hard times.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> People disappear. We, Matt and I have found this to be true in our lives. Like when horrible things happened to us, all of a sudden, people that were our best friends, supposedly they just disappeared. We never heard from them again. They don't know if we're alive or anything. And I think one of the reasons that happens is because people don't know what to say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And when someone is grieving and you go to them, you end up saying things that you've heard said, and they just sound so, um, canned. So you end up not wanting to deal with it at all because inevitably you're gonna say the wrong thing. , inevitably, you're gonna look foolish, or the person may lash out because that's what they need to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But you have to be prepared for that and not take it personally. There's a lot going on, and I think there's a lot going on. I think most people don't have the capacity to deal with it, so they'd rather not, you know, we're all, we've all done </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> this, I think. Yes, and I think the, the helplessness that people feel in, in presence, You know, real tragedy and horror, but the people really, we forget that the only thing people really need is you, not anything but that, your presence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And, uh, and, um, I can say from personal experience when my, when my dad died, um, I have a good friend, Tom Genick. Um, I think I've talked about him on the podcast before. Yeah. When, and he. Came to, it was one of these friend, you know how friendships evolve over time. You know, at first, like he was my friend, but I wasn't really his friend that much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> I kind of, mm-hmm. , you know, he was a roommate. He had a certain way of being in the world that was great and it could be difficult sometimes, just not for any real reason. But, but, uh, I didn't know how that we were that friends, but we maintained the friendship over time and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> He came to me when my dad died and we walked to the playground near my parents' house and, and I didn't know what to say or what to do, and I just stood with him and he put his arms around me and I just wept. Um, and uh, after that moment, our friendship just totally changed. It was like, now we were totally equal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> We were like, he was my friend and I was his friend, and it was just like something happened and I realized it was just friendship has nothing to do with all the things we think it has to do with it. There's a, there's another level channel or, or whatever that's going on about just being connected with that person and just connecting. And in Uvalde the kids.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> It's sort of, I, I, I was trying describe it in a sentence or two to people when, when I got back, cuz a lot of people wanted to know what it was like. And we have, uh, I'd posted some pictures and stuff of being at the Rob Elementary where the shooting was, where this is incredible outpouring of just stuffed animals everywhere and flowers and just, it's like this giant shrine to, pain and horror and um, but up to love the love of</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> these souls that were lost. And, um, and so how do you, uh, I described it like hog, the next Harry Potter novel, after all, when they go back to Hogwarts with their stuffies, you know, after the war, you know, and they have to recuperate from the PTSD and all that stuff. And, or to find some healing in themselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And, uh, and. , it happens in, uh, being able to tell your story over and over. I once worked with a Cambodian refugee years ago teaching writing, and teachers should complain. Yeah, he always tells all these stories, but they're different every time. Of course, they're different every time because telling the story is what's important and finding the truth in the many versions of the story.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> A lot of it is about just sitting with kids, them telling the stories, and being able to find, , a connection and just to be there, you know, the difference between sympathy and empathy, I guess that is what you're talking about Fawn, I think the sympathy is when you say, ah, I'm certainly sorry that happened to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> You poor loser, . You know, it can be, you know, it's, you were separate. It's othering that person. Right. Empathy. So the very last day when I was in Uvaldi, I did a, a workshop with teachers and. , I sang the song," Quiet Your Mind." And, uh, my, I quiet my mind, but I started to talk about it and I just burst into tears.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> I just, not, not just tears, but like heaving sobs and, and I said, what happened here should not have happened, you know, and, and, and just how honored I was just to be in the presence of these teachers who went back into the classroom. It, it was like, beyond heroic to be able to, to take their pain and fear even, you know, and, uh, P T S D.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And there were stories of teachers, uh, who could not bear, the door being open, you know, a door, they'd be in the room and just feel if that door is open, uh, you know, go into panic. And the kinds of things that happen when you have to face all the, the limbic systems, kind of, you know, , you know, continual sense of threat, you know, um, and, uh, but to be able to do that and to go back in and to hug these kids, and the only reason they did it, not because of their salaries or their protecting their pension, the only reason they did it is because there was kids needed them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And. . I remember just walking casually down the hall and the woman I was with said we had a nice talk with a teacher and she told me afterward that woman's son died in the shooting. And uh, and she was a teacher and she went back in to be with her students to be in. Uh, and I just remember thinking just how these type of events make you realize the bonds that hold people, teachers teaching to me is a calling. It's not a job. And that, uh, these kids need them. Um, so how do you mend the heart? That's the question. Telling the story, being there, you know, or climbing into the pit with them, that's what, I didn't do that till the very end, that last day when I felt</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> like, I had to, I felt this connection, with these teachers realized that that's really what they have been doing. And, uh, and, you know, actually feeling what, or being there for them, you know, I guess that's what it is. What Tom did for me at the playground when my dad died, uh, maybe is, is it do that for these kids, be there for them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> and, uh, these kids, the other thing I noticed is that these kids were doing it for each other. So much. So many kids, they all bring stuffies with them wherever they go and they, they're, they're like loving each other and they're stuffies, you know? And, um, I was just in a classroom. My great friend Sean, Sean Taylor, great fourth grade teacher in Tucson.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> He gives his kids at the beginning of the year, they get their own stuffed animal to take care of. They have to feed it and they put it in their cubby holes. And uh, and uh, and that kind of care, that practicing caring for each other is, is really the key to, to healing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Which leads us to<strong> where does love live?</strong>. How would you answer that? Where does love live Barry? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> You want me to do it in Jim. My Jim Morrison voice, he lives on Love Street . Hey, uh, where does love live? Love lives. Um hm. Love lives in the spaces, the places cracks within the broken heart.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> So the heart is crushed. But there's love, uh, the love is still, when I say the kids is, if your heart is broken, is the love still there? Yeah. Anyone that's had to grieve for a loved one. And when you see, I see these really heartfelt tributes to great people, one of them that died recently as my friend Kevin Locke.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> He's a Lakota Sioux dancer. He's traveled around the world, over 90 countries, bringing the spirit of of love and connection to people. And, uh, he died the day I, the week, the two days after I got back from Uvalde. And the same day that my dad died, and he was like a spiritual mentor to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Kevin Locke. Yeah. Let me give you a quick example of him. He comes to this elementary school. He was performing at Millbury College and he came to our elementary school as a, as a gift, a friendship to do a free hoop dance with the kids. And the elementary school has a giant picture of a, of an Indian chief guide because, the school mascot is the Raiders.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> So I think, oh God, this is so embarrassing. . And he looks at the picture and he talks to the kids, you see the feathers and he used it as a PowerPoint to talk about the nobility of the human spirit to know your higher self. So he took that image, which is what I would call degrading or just awful and he just used to, tell kids about the power of their nobility, of the spirit that they have. , so Kevin Locks, uh, that kind of, the fact that he, and because of that lesson 10 years later, I wrote a song called No, you're By Yourself, which I do with kids. Take it off the shelf, give it room to play every single day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> Forget about the fight, forget about othering other people. Reach for what is right. You can teach yourself to fly like the eagle when you wanna cry. And that's the lesson. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank you so much, Barry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So with that, let's be on our way and step out into the world and remember everything that. we learned from Barry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Sounds good. Thank you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> it was a great gift to talk with you and Matt now, simply because I got to talk about it and to recenter myself, and try to prepare myself for it. I always feel it's like Jonah and the whale, you know, Jonah, God says to Jonah to go to this place and talk, to talk good stuff, you know, and Jonah says, now I'm gonna go somewhere else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> And then the. Spits him up on the shore in the place where it's gonna be. And you helped me to kind of, uh, recenter myself there. And, I'm going to bring the lessons of the heart and that your heart is like a fortress, that you can stand inside and feel your feet beneath you whenever you try to quiet your mind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> So those lessons of love that happened in the cracks, in people's hearts, I'm reaffirmed in my mission to do that by simply being able to tell you about it and to understand it through talking, understand it myself. So I thank you for this opportunity, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Barry thank you for speaking with us and all of our friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I just realized, Matt, you always talk about the difference between love and hate. Yes. I don't know. I feel. , do you even wanna talk about your identification with that or your explanation for the difference between love and hate, which is greater? I just feel like in this situation that, I mean would you even, I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Because the, the gravity of the situation uvalde the gravity of the situation. That happens unfortunately all the time in the United States. and around the world, the wars around the world, the hatred around the world, right? The gravity is so immense that, sometimes I feel like I don't wanna say anything cuz whatever I say sounds ridiculous, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So I'm kind of afraid to say, Matt what do you, could you tell everyone what you always explain after </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:38]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> God? I, I, I look at Barry like a student looks at a teacher. He's a, he's, he feels like my mentor. So, For me to say anything feels like I'm putting a little scoop of frosting on top of this beautiful, well decorated cake that, that, that Barry has provided for us as far as a feast goes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:00]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Got it. So yeah, alls I can really say is, you know, ridiculous pithy sayings, but one that sticks out to me in particular is shared joy is increased, shared pain is lessened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:16]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and that's all I can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> say about it. So you don't wanna get into the love thing? No. Okay. . I mean, I, I understand, I understand. I would just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:25]</span> <span style="color:#de4a1d;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> feel like a cartoon after Barry. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> feel you. I feel you . Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> uh, it's been a real, it's a real joy just to talk with you guys. Just, it's, uh, what you're doing with your podcast to me is, About opening up hearts, which need to be opened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm so grateful for your friendship, Barry, you, you make me feel like I can keep walking. You give me strength. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you. I love you so much. Thank you. We love you the whole. Love you guys. We love you so much. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> to, and I'll, you'll be with me and I'll, I'll report back on another later date.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>BARRY:</strong></span> What happens this time? Cuz it's seems to be an evolving journey. Let's see. Other thing about it? There's no real answer. I mean, Matt was saying, felt like it was being glib or was, and I, I feel that way too. It becomes, I think it's really, it's an evolving story. You know, stay tuned. You know, stay tuned cause this is not stay there you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> All right. To learn more about Barry, of course, remember forcefieldforgood.com. Link is in the show notes. Alright, everybody will talk to you in just a few days. Take care again, reach out to Barry, reach out to us. There's love all around and we can make it through. Love you guys. Bye. Be well</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Barry Lane, the ambassador of love and kindness, troubadour for loving-kindness is with us again, this time from Uvalde, Texas. Barry travels all over the place and he not only teaches kindness, but he spreads kindness everywhere. He goes to schools. He works with children, he's given TED Talks.In this episode, we discuss what is stronger love or hate?  How do you mend a broken heart? Where to find love when it seems all we see is a "prickly cactus"?Everybody is operating from some sort of trauma. Everyone has pain.  Everyone's doing their best going through whatever they're going through. EVERYONE is literally operating at their highest capacity. Now, that may not mean that they're operating to your standards, to your standards, they're just operating from the best way that they can live. And that goes with friendship. 
Barry is visiting with the children and teachers who were inside the massacre at Uvalde and we take some time to discuss how we can heal, and how we can be there for each other to create a loving world despite what we are experiencing that is far from kind. We find out where love lives. We take a love pledge.
This episode will soothe and nourish you. Barry sings to us. Make sure to listen to the very last song at the end of the episode. It will help.#WhatIsStrongerLoveOrHate  #Uvalde #LoveIsEternal #HealingABrokenHearthttps://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-with-special-guest-barry-lane/
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/a-kind-world-finding-freedom-and-truth-during-a-tumultuous-time-with-barry-lane/
 
To Reach Barry:https://www.barrylane.com/
https://www.forcefieldforgood.com/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzimmQaLzo8
 
Love and Hate and How to Heal a Broken Heart with Barry Lane - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] FAWN: Hello everybody.
[00:00:01] MATT: Hello. 
[00:00:01] FAWN: Welcome back. We have a beautiful, beautiful surprise for you today. Our friend Barry is back. Barry is here. Hi Barry. ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1393384/Screenshot-2023-01-22-at-10.06.41-AM.png"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:53:24</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Get Yourself Together!]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1393361</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/get-yourself-together</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We continue the subject we talk about frequently, which is emotional currency and the ability to pick how we choose to spend this. <br /><br />How much do we want to invest? Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in an emotion that we forget that we're investing in all this life-sucking stuff. But when we do, and we say "zero," it's FABULOUS because we feel free, because we are free. We're energized. <br /><br /> the fact that when we spend emotional currency like this, not only does it leave room for beauty in our lives, but in<br /> that moment and that realization of," I passed through it and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore,"our life force comes back because we've gathered ourselves. The different parts of ourselves that were scattered in different directions outside of ourselves because we leaked our vital life force are now restored. We have pulled ourselves back together. Now we have the capacity that is able to make good friends and to BE a good friend.</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#GetYourselfTogether #HowToBounceBackFromABreakup  #RealizeYourOwnPower<br /><br />When we're upset, we're leaking "currency."  When we pull ourselves together, we pull all of humanity together, with compassion and peaceful understanding.<br /><br /></strong></span></span><br />Support our podcast by telling others and leaving a review. Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook "The Ikigai of Friendship" here:</p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p align="left">THANK YOU with LOVE!</p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Get it Together, Get a Hold of Yourself ,Capacity Revisited Podcast - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. Hello?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, world. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello everyone. Thank you for tuning in. Matt and I got into a discussion the other day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Discussion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> love is winning . And so Matt decided that we should argue with ourselves. And a while ago,<strong> long time ago, we were talking about currency, all kinds of currency within friendships, within relationships, just all of life. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"></span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We continue the subject we talk about frequently, which is emotional currency and the ability to pick how we choose to spend this. How much do we want to invest? Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in an emotion that we forget that we're investing in all this life-sucking stuff. But when we do, and we say "zero," it's FABULOUS because we feel free, because we are free. We're energized.  the fact that when we spend emotional currency like this, not only does it leave room for beauty in our lives, but in that moment and that realization of," I passed through it and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore,"our life force comes back because we've gathered ourselves. The different parts of ourselves that were scattered in different directions outside of ourselves because we leaked our vital life force are now restored. We have pulled ourselves back together. Now we have the capacity that is able to make good friends and to BE a good friend. 
#GetYourselfTogether #HowToBounceBackFromABreakup  #RealizeYourOwnPowerWhen we're upset, we're leaking "currency."  When we pull ourselves together, we pull all of humanity together, with compassion and peaceful understanding.Support our podcast by telling others and leaving a review. Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook "The Ikigai of Friendship" here:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
THANK YOU with LOVE!
 
Get it Together, Get a Hold of Yourself ,Capacity Revisited Podcast - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. Hello?
[00:00:02] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:03] Fawn: Hello, world. 
[00:00:04] Matt: Oh dear.
[00:00:04] Fawn: Hello everyone. Thank you for tuning in. Matt and I got into a discussion the other day. 
[00:00:10] Matt: Discussion. 
[00:00:12] Fawn: love is winning . And so Matt decided that we should argue with ourselves. And a while ago, long time ago, we were talking about currency, all kinds of currency within friendships, within relationships, just all of life. 
[00:00:30] ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Get Yourself Together!]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We continue the subject we talk about frequently, which is emotional currency and the ability to pick how we choose to spend this. <br /><br />How much do we want to invest? Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in an emotion that we forget that we're investing in all this life-sucking stuff. But when we do, and we say "zero," it's FABULOUS because we feel free, because we are free. We're energized. <br /><br /> the fact that when we spend emotional currency like this, not only does it leave room for beauty in our lives, but in<br /> that moment and that realization of," I passed through it and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore,"our life force comes back because we've gathered ourselves. The different parts of ourselves that were scattered in different directions outside of ourselves because we leaked our vital life force are now restored. We have pulled ourselves back together. Now we have the capacity that is able to make good friends and to BE a good friend.</strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>#GetYourselfTogether #HowToBounceBackFromABreakup  #RealizeYourOwnPower<br /><br />When we're upset, we're leaking "currency."  When we pull ourselves together, we pull all of humanity together, with compassion and peaceful understanding.<br /><br /></strong></span></span><br />Support our podcast by telling others and leaving a review. Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook "The Ikigai of Friendship" here:</p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p align="left">THANK YOU with LOVE!</p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Get it Together, Get a Hold of Yourself ,Capacity Revisited Podcast - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. Hello?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, world. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello everyone. Thank you for tuning in. Matt and I got into a discussion the other day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Discussion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> love is winning . And so Matt decided that we should argue with ourselves. And a while ago,<strong> long time ago, we were talking about currency, all kinds of currency within friendships, within relationships, just all of life. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>You started talking about emotional currency, which you know, you need to pick how you choose to spend this. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>This came from Caroline Myss a long time ago, and she was describing it as you wake up, let's say you wake up with a hundred dollars and every time you get upset with someone, Or your energy gets focused on a particular thing.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>For example, someone cuts you off on the road and every time you think about that, in instance, that particular event or that particular person, and you get mad about it, you lose currency every time.</strong> When I heard her say this a long time ago, it totally made sense to me. And back then I was also getting over a cheating boyfriend fiance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Not me, folks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was not Matt . And when I heard her say this, it totally made sense. I'm like, yeah. And I saw myself at a boardroom and I thought, okay, everybody, and I'm the head of it, how much do we wanna invest in this person? How much do we wanna invest in this particular. Situation, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> how much do I want to invest in feeling this way?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Because every time that person came up, every time I had like a whole chemical reaction in my body. Like I would get so upset and you can use this example for anything that makes you upset. And I thought to myself, I imagined being a boardroom director and also a judge with a gavel and I made the decision, zero, no more investments cut, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> cut off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. That really helped me. And so ever, and this was years ago and ever since then, that's how I live. I'm like, if, if I'm witty enough or in tuned enough with myself to say whoa. <strong>How much do you want to invest? Because sometimes you can just get so wrapped up in an emotion that you just forget that you're investing all this.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Right</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>you forget to ask yourself, how much do you want to invest? You want to continue investing in this? But when you do and you say zero, it really is fabulous. It's immediately, you shift to something else, </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>it's fabulous. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>It is because you feel free. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>It is absolutely. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>You're free and energized. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Right </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>and so we were talking about the fact that when you spend emotional currency like this, </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>right, </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>that it doesn't leave room for other things in your life </strong>that Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The good things. So that was the thing. And then Matt decided, you know what? I'm gonna argue against this. And you said what? You said that there's actually infinite currency out there, and I totally agree with you. There is infinite currency. You don't wake up with only a hundred you don't wake up with a certain amount, like a unit of energy, right</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you are. We are all supernatural beings. We have the ability to be infinite in so many ways. Mm. So tell our friends what you were saying, the argument you had with yourself and then with me, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Okay. Well, scientists are, are studying willpower, not emotional currency, but it's, it's somehow linked.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And they're talking about how depending on mindset, you may or may not be spending your willpower currency, which is again, subtly different that there, there is a way to shift your mind, shift your focus, and start thinking about willpower as being truly an infinite resource instead of being a battery that keeps getting depleted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay? And I said, well, yes, because if you tune into a higher power, if you get centered with whatever you wanna call it, the universe, your inner self, your higher self, God, whatever you choose to label it, if you're operating from that, if you're grounded in that, yes, it's infinite power. However, when you're, when you're thinking of the jerk that yelled at you, that cut you off on the road or a thief that took off with your stuff, it's a baseline emotion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, very much </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so. I'm not in my supernatural spirit power when I'm thinking about that. Cuz I'm thinking from a scarcity point, I'm thinking from a fear-based point. Right? And I think at that stage, you don't have infinite power. So what do you have to say about that ? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Okay. Okay, so again, we're talking about, willpower. We're talking about there's a chocolate bar sitting in the fridge and oh my goodness, I shouldn't eat it, but I want it, but I shouldn't eat it, but I want it. And going through the cavortations of dealing with that over the course of a day, or, you know, constantly be being, you know, wanting to do something , and continually denying yourself from doing it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. So that's what we're really talking about here as far as willpower goes. . So I think, when we accumulate these temptations, when we have so many coming at us all day every day, I do think most people would say it feels more difficult. Things get more difficult as the day progresses.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, I really want to, relieve some of these temptations. I want either them to get out of my life or I wanna succumb to them. , right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know. I never thought about it like that. I don't really go through life with temptation. If I like something, I do it. I don't know. Are you faced with a bunch of temptations, Matt? We </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> have chocolate in the house. My God, it's everywhere. . It's not everywhere, but Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, but I mean, do you go through life thinking? I have to deprive myself like I'm tempted, so I can't, I, I don't know. I never think about it like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it's like, I'm like Augustus Gloop sometimes from,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> don't know who that is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> from. Um, Willy Wonka, the Chocolate factory. Oh, right. You know, the little, the little German boy who loves </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> chocolate </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> guys. Here's what I have to do. So we like baking. I think you all know that we bake, we we're major chefs over.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So there is a jar of chocolate that is meant for baking. And Matt, if he sees it, we have to hide it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But's a lovely chocolate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We have to hide it because when we go to bake a chocolate cake, It has mysteriously, there's like one or three little nuggets left in this big jar that used to be a big jar of chocolate</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so this happened years ago when we lived on Bainbridge Island and there were a bunch of raccoons around our house, and there was one raccoon in particular that was so weird, like</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Rocky, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> unbelievable. This raccoon was out of a cartoon . He would mess with us and laugh at us this raccoon, it was, it was nuts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like he would show us his butt. He would do something like, what did he do? Matt . That was really funny. One day like, He was getting into something and we're like, Hey, get out of there. And he looked at us like, oh yeah. And then he showed us his butt, like on purpose, turned around lifted his butt and flashed us, like mooned us .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then he went back to what he was doing. We're like, oh, my son of a biscuit. What the, the, what is going on? And. Why, and it was broad daylight too, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And what do you do in that case when you know, literally they're like, whatever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So anyway, so what I did was I didn't wanna accuse Matt of stealing the chocolate because back then the kids weren't born yet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So it was just Matt and . It was just Matt. And so I started to write notes around any chocolate jar meant for baking. And I said, dear Rocky, This is meant for baking chocolate cake. Please don't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But that, that raccoon, he'd get into it. I, I, I don't know. I don't know how he got in the house, but, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but I really meant Matt. Cause I knew Matt . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, I'm offended. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway, so anyway, back to. Back to temptation. So do you think most people go through life tempted all, all day? Not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> all day, but I think that there are even kind of temptations people, you know, pass through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean, for me, I think it's primarily more food-based than anything, to be honest. But I remember, I, I would drive to work and I'd be like, should I stop and get coffee? Should I, should I, you know, it's like these little thoughts go rattling through your. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's weird. I don't know if I'm in denial, but I, I wanna say I, I'm not, I don't live by temptation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. I don't know. Right. I, it, it's not in my, it's not in my, uh, it's not in my sphere, you know? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. Exactly. Which is one of the things that makes it very difficult to talk about this subject. Right. Okay, so go on. So, so, so there's, there's, I guess our initial question is, temptation, willpower, , or let's talk about, you know, the other side of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Like, I gotta buckle down and I have to, when I was in school, I have to write a report and I have to get this report done. If I get it done now it's like three weeks before it's due. Why procrastinate? Why not just get it done. . Right. I think that's, I another kind of thought that people have and they go through, because I remember I had one particular quarter in school where I was like, uhoh, , I'm in trouble here in college and I better buckle down and fly right otherwise, bad things are going to happen. So , I hit what was much closer to, I suppose, my full potential. , you know, I took school a hundred percent. It, it was my number one. Okay. And everything else was my number two. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what's your point? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm saying is if you have in your head that willpower is like a battery and willpower gets depleted over the course of a day and you need to do something to recharge yourself. or go to the spa or whatever it is. Okay. Yeah. That is one mindset, but there is another mindset, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Can just, why are you choosing the word willpower, though?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't, I think that's what's bothering me. I don't get it. I don't, I don't get what that has to do with energetic wellbeing. Can you use another word for it? I think that's what's tripping me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We could call it mental exhaustion if you'd rather, yeah. Okay. We </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> can talk about, cause I can relate to that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> talk mental exhaustion. That's fine. Yeah. I can talk about mental exhaustion all day. Okay. . . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Even though I'm exhausted, I can talk about it all day. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well nevermind. Go ahead. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The other, the other kind of mindset that scientists have actually discovered. They found people who have this mindset or, um, what.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm about to describe the mindset. Oh, okay. . Sorry, go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. I'm sorry guys. I'm, I didn't sleep well. Go ahead.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> At least she's laughing folks. So if you've just gone through an emotionally draining event, what should be an emotionally draining event? There is a mindset that says that you can feel like, oh my God, I just overcame this emotionally draining event. What if, what if you didn't strengthened by that I have a new resolve and I can stand strong against new things that would be out there that would wish to exhaust me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So when your, when your heart has been broken, you can say, I made it. I'm stronger instead of I choose to not open up ever again. . Yeah, exactly. Like I made it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> through, but that's making it through. That's again, that to me, like emotional, like that, that kind of emotional breakup or that kind of stuff, that's a whole process and you need to like move through and past it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> To me, that takes an interesting amount of time </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and effort. Well, you know, a few episodes back we talked. , the breakup we've talked about. Mm-hmm. , various different ways of breakups. Breaking up in a friendship is just as painful as a romantic break it can be for sure. And I wanna say it happens more often than meeting the love of your life and you've broken up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, and And I would agree. I'm saying cause, but I would, I would also say that, you know, it's almost like to, in order to discuss this properly, you need to start thinking through the whole aspect of, you know, . I've been on both sides of a breakup. I've broken up with people and I've been broken up with and caught completely flatfooted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So if we talk about when you make the decision to break up with somebody, it's that it's at that moment because that's the moment where you're like, okay, I'm making this decision. You're cut off. I'm not spending anymore emotional currency on you. Whatever it is. , like you're cut off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's<strong> that moment and it's that realization of, I passed through it </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore. Right. And as soon as you come to that realization, that's when you feel a charge. Yes. Like your life force comes </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>back. Exactly. You feel a charge right there. Exactly.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Because you have passed through it. Now, of course, because that happens on the other </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>side too, because you've gathered yourself, right? It's in pieces of yourself, keep going out in different directions. And that's Yes, and that's the key. So when you stop it immediately, you are restored.</strong> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And for me, there's always this inherent, and scientists discover this too, but <strong>there's this inherent moment of clarity because I've now had the opportunity to</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>think on it to remember the pros, the cons, and the indifference about it. So I get to the high place from it because that gives me an opportunity to perform my own introspection, which is again, the key behind this willpower, emotional exhaustion and the whole bit.</strong> It's actually, the, the important part for me anyways is focusing on the history of it and then pushing past.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Have you noticed that when that happens, the person always feels it and then they try to amend, right? Yeah. What, what can, and you haven't said, what can I do? But you haven't said a word. You haven't even been there physically. Mm-hmm. , like they sense it even if they, they have not seen you. Heard from you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They sense that. Isn't that interesting? It is. Well, another example,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> people are more connected than they're willing to admit. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. I I was just gonna say another example of interconnectedness. Another example, how we are so beautifully intertwined and interlaced that we do pick up on each other. Period.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right? I was gonna say, we do pick up on each other's emotions, everything. So if you think whatever happens on the other side of the world, people who think, oh, that's the other side of the world. It doesn't affect me, or That's that group. It doesn't affect me. It does. It totally does. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It totally does. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You may not you, you guys, but like people who think that, think that it doesn't affect them, but I think that their heart is closed,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> emotional heart is so closed in so many ways. . They're not aware of things. They're not aware of feelings. It's like a person who's not totally in tune with their body and when there's pain, when the body is trying to tell them something, they don't even hear it. They don't sense it. You know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They're desensitized, is what I'm trying to say. So they don't see how this group over here, they may think has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with them. If one person hurts over here, it is affecting everybody. Anyway, so Go ahead Matt. , I just wanted to, I'm sorry. It's just the other night I was part of my writing group and they brought up this book called Seen and Unseen, and it's about the, um, it's a children's book actually.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But it's about the Japanese internment camp, right? And the author of the book was, uh, is or she or her godmother was Dorothy Lang, one of my favorite photographers. You guys, I'm sure you've seen her pictures if you're not into photography. She did all the like the most. I wanna say beautiful. Uh, beautiful but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> tragic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Beautiful. Timeless, yeah. Dust bowl farmers, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right? During the depression, so you've seen pictures, um, of the Dust Bowl era. It's pretty much probably Dorothy Lang. Anyway, so that was her godmother. She used three photographers in this. To portray what happened in the internment camps. Right? And she chose Ansel Adams, Dorothy Lang, oh, I'm, I'm forgetting the most important one, the mo, the most important photographer who was Japanese.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so basically it showed, seen and unseen. Dorothy Lang photographed a whole bunch of stuff, and most of her, I don't know about most, but a lot of images that she took. Taken, disqualified not to be seen by the powers that be because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they were potentially embarrassing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They, yeah. They didn't want you to know about what was happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And she photographed before the internment camps started to come about, like she saw it coming. Mm-hmm. . And she was trying to warn people and one of her friends was Ansel Adams. and I, I heard this quote about her saying about Angela Adams, you know, he's my friend, but he just doesn't get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And she was talking about what was happening with the internment camps and what had happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so she photographed it before and during, and then Ansel Adam's photographed it towards the end and he photographed the internment camps in a way that was like a gap ad. , it looked like everybody was having fun. Everybody was smiling, you know, playing ball. It, it was weird. It was, you know, like, it just made me think lesser of Ansel Adams.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Well, and then, do you know what I'm saying? Like, they don't get it. They don't get it. But, and then the, the Japanese photographer obviously, like he went into the camp. Mm-hmm. , he was taken into the camp and he managed to take a lense and a and a negative holder and figured out a way to make a makeshift camera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And he photographed what was happening on the inside. Right. Which no one was allowed to photograph. Right. So anyway, I'm sorry. Why am I bringing this up? I got all upset, . I know you did what you said. People who don't get it, people who don't get it. Like certain family members, I'm not gonna bring up right now who don't get.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Who don't, who think that this group, whatever group it is, it's like they're not even human. Do you know what I'm saying? They dehumanize people. Right. But I'm saying that they actually feel all these people at the same time and they're not aware of it, and it's eating them up. Am I, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not articulating myself while I'm today you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Unfortunately, I can't bring us back to center on this one, which is the unfortunate part. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's okay. Go back to what you were saying. Sorry, Matt. Oh dear. This is all the stuff that's on my mind and when I don't sleep, I, uh, I tend to go off on tangent. Sorry guys. Okay. Go back. So we were talking about energy and we were talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Retrospection is very important, but you have to be at a point where you can do that retrospection. That's one way that you fuel your everything, your emotional currency, your willpower, your everything. . </strong>That's how you maybe build if, if you can't let go of the whole battery thought. Cuz it's very compelling cuz there are those days you just feel run down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It feels like you started with a full charge and it just went down that day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh yeah. It could happen in an instant, it could be fully charged within. Something will just get you, we'll </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> just get ya. Yeah. Yeah. So in this way, as far as retrospection is,<strong> you're just trying to get a bigger battery.</strong> You're trying to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Bigger battery, and<strong> it's the thinking of the things you've overcome, the things that you have done that help you with your endurance, your emotional kind of endurance, if you will,</strong> which is a very, very hard thing to do in the moment. I know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you know, as long as I'm made aware of it, I can snap myself out of it rather quickly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You go deep and wallow in it. You swim and bathe in it like it's a bubble bath. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's so warm. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> warm in here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So when you, when you get upset, Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes when I do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wow. Wow. You just wallow in it sometimes. and it's, I was gonna say, Matt, what do you do? I'm like, you know what? You guys don't wanna know what Matt does.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I No, no. There's a process, but I'll tell you what I do. There is a process for Matt, but my goodness, it's just too long. It's like a long three hour movie that should be just be an hour and a half . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But I'm a big fan of Akira Kurosawa </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he, I was gonna bring that up. Either , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that is totally it. But you know me, I'm just like, let's just get, get to the good stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> things to do edited for television. I don I don't wanna feel bad. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's, that's your movies. I feel bad too much. So please. So I'm like, let me get outta here. So that's my famous phrase. I gotta get outta here. I gotta get outta here in one way or another. Like if it's a situation, I gotta get outta here, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry, I'm just gonna remove myself. So you can do that or you will, you still have to get outta there to go meditate somewhere quiet. Just, you know, meditate doesn't have to be, you sit in a lotus position and all that. It could be just sit somewhere and connect right with your power. Anyway, so let's move on</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So let's move on. So I think, I think you phrased it just eloquently right there. So let's move on. <strong>Let's figure out how you can remove yourself from a given situation of emotional turmoil and take a step back and think it through. And then remember who you are. Remember your power, feel your inner Popeye and feel </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>the strength from there.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Remind new listeners what inner Popeye is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So inner Popeye. Popeye is this guy, he's a cartoon character. And you know what? With Popeye, I am what I am, that's his saying. And you know what you. He is so self-aware. He knows exactly who he is, exactly where he's going. He understands his motivations completely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He is completely self-aware. Inner Popeye is when you reach that kind of condition within yourself. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You don't care what other people think of you. You are just going to be you. You're not apologetic about. Who you are. Oh, but having said that, I think of certain leaders that are never apologizing for this stuff, it's not about that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's not about doing harm and being unapologetic. It's about he has really big forearms. So what , you know what I'm saying? He's not gonna try to slim down his forearms. He has big, like ridiculous forearms, you know? He's un unapologetic about it. That's, that's him. Yes. Um, you know, another example that you bring up all the time regarding this is, O Sensei the founder of Aikido, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you say, like, whenever we talk about something or when I, when I'm stuck on something or I don't wanna hurt someone's feelings, or I'm dealing with a difficult friendship or different situation, you know. , you say something about the mat, like you gotta keep walking on the mat. You say something like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What do you say? Okay, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> so famous demonstration. He's a frail old man and he was, this is , he was this great, et cetera, et cetera. I saw him as a warrior when he was younger, but when he got older he, his mind, his mind shifted. And there's a famous demonstration that he walks from one corner , of a mat to the other corner.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So it's kind of this square mat he walks from one. In the interim, 20 different guys tried to, stop him and he just didn't let him. Right? So he moved where he had to move. He did what he had to do and he made it to the end. He made it to the other edge </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and it, it just cracks me up because that's how I got into Aikido and that's what made me stop wanting to get into Aikido.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Cause I would see these demonstrations of him doing. And it looked so fake. It looks so fake. It looks cartoonishly ridiculous because here's this very skinny ti, tiny little man . He looks like he's frail. He's definitely not. And he's walking. And all these big burly guys that look like they're seven feet tall are charging at him, and it looks like he's just lifting his little pinky or his index finger, and these guys are suddenly flying across the.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sorry, that was me flying , but you know what I mean. They were flying across the room and I'm like, that is the most set up artificial thing I've ever seen. Right. I'm not gonna study that. When my martial artist friends were like, you should study Aikido. I'm like, no , that's a, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that's a baby er. That </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is some fake</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Uh, no thank you. And then when I experienced it for myself, right, I was like, whoa, this is legit . This is legitimate and it's energetic and yeah, it's fascinating. Yes. What happens when you're actually physically in that situation and a black belt is working with. and you experience that energy and that, that flying sensation</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. Um, but yeah, it always cracks me up when I'm in a difficult situation. And you say there's this phrase that you use though. , you just say, you just gotta, you're crossing the mat. Cross the mat. Don't let anything get in your way, but you have a particular way of saying it that you're not saying right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh dear. I can't remember. Uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you say, I remember it in the moment. I know don't, but anyway. But that's, that's the gist of it. Would you say sometimes you have to do that, Matt? Or always? I mean, sometimes you have to give and say if a friend is coming, Not an attack, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like, right. But y it's important I think, to step back and just try and take a look at everything around you because, you know, there are certain spots.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, my kids obviously are, are an incredible emotional blind spot for me. I can't necessarily be objective when it comes to my kids period. much sometimes my wife chagrin. Um, I can. You know, um, but it's, it's important where you can to step back and take a look and remember, and that's one of the things that helps us feel strong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And that's one of the things that helps us do more to manifest our inner Popeye and bring that forward into our day, into our life. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. That's very well, and I don't wanna make this a super long. But when you get into that mood, Matt, yes. What snaps you out of it? Because I said it takes forever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sometimes it's a process and you drag everybody else with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you. It's a process and it takes time </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? I don't wanna be affected by you then don't be, but I am because I love you. I So what do you do? I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> get emotional blind spot. It's, it's hard. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know what to do. Right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I, I can't leave you alone. I wanna make things better for. If I leave the room or leave the house, I know you're sitting there moping and or you know, it just makes me feel I'm processing. I know, but it makes me feel terrible. I feel scared. I feel like I know baby. I'm Is he okay? Is he, is it going to turn into a physical ailment?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Cuz he's so upset. You know what I'm saying? Yes. So any solutions there, Matt? He's just staring at me. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> tell me you love me and. . That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> about all do I can say. What do you mean? Tell you I love you. And then go out. Yes, go outside. Leave you alone maybe. Really? Yeah. But what if I'm stuck in the house with you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What am I supposed to do then? I just feel bad for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry. . Oh my god. . Okay, let's move on. from N two next. Oh, did you make the entire point? That's all we had to say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That. . That was the entire, yes. Lower part of my sheet. All right. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right then. Alrighty </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> then. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So infinite or non </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> infinite? It depends on your point of view.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Make it more infinite. That would be what I would say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So when,<strong> when things go awry. Gather your power, gather yourself, gather your power. Get yourself together.</strong> Yourself. Exactly. Oh my God. Okay. Get yourself together. Right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and right. <strong>How do you bounce back from breakup? </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But you know what? <strong>Realize your power turn.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Look at that. Get yourself together. <strong>When you are upset, you are leaking currency. Yes. From your physical body. Yes. Sometimes. And when you focus, you gather yourself, right? You're getting yourself together, right? So get your spiritual, physical, emotional body in the same space, in the same center, and connect to your beautiful, powerful point.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>and that is getting yourself together. Get yourself together, . Get it together, folks. </strong>, can I tell you that next time you're in a wallow, can I say get it together, Matt? Then you get No. You know what? There's no talking to you. You get is mad. There's no talking to me. Matt will get upset for I can't say anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> know what? Next time just make me cookies. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, even that doesn't work. I've tried chocolate milk, , . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Then just let me be a little spoiled child </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> for a minute. Oh, can I ask you to leave ? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear. You know, I'd love to say yes and I would have the emotional maturity to deal with it, but there </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> are those moments.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, I don't wanna, I don't want to. The worlds to never. It's big. Probably safer for you at home, . It probably is. So I should leave. Okay. All right everybody. Thanks for listening. Love you. Love is winning. Oh dear. Love is winning. Talk to you later. Be well everyone. so.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We continue the subject we talk about frequently, which is emotional currency and the ability to pick how we choose to spend this. How much do we want to invest? Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in an emotion that we forget that we're investing in all this life-sucking stuff. But when we do, and we say "zero," it's FABULOUS because we feel free, because we are free. We're energized.  the fact that when we spend emotional currency like this, not only does it leave room for beauty in our lives, but in that moment and that realization of," I passed through it and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore,"our life force comes back because we've gathered ourselves. The different parts of ourselves that were scattered in different directions outside of ourselves because we leaked our vital life force are now restored. We have pulled ourselves back together. Now we have the capacity that is able to make good friends and to BE a good friend. 
#GetYourselfTogether #HowToBounceBackFromABreakup  #RealizeYourOwnPowerWhen we're upset, we're leaking "currency."  When we pull ourselves together, we pull all of humanity together, with compassion and peaceful understanding.Support our podcast by telling others and leaving a review. Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook "The Ikigai of Friendship" here:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
THANK YOU with LOVE!
 
Get it Together, Get a Hold of Yourself ,Capacity Revisited Podcast - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. Hello?
[00:00:02] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:03] Fawn: Hello, world. 
[00:00:04] Matt: Oh dear.
[00:00:04] Fawn: Hello everyone. Thank you for tuning in. Matt and I got into a discussion the other day. 
[00:00:10] Matt: Discussion. 
[00:00:12] Fawn: love is winning . And so Matt decided that we should argue with ourselves. And a while ago, long time ago, we were talking about currency, all kinds of currency within friendships, within relationships, just all of life. 
[00:00:30] ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1393361/c1a-8j1v-dm17v0mmh8vm-6uh2ge.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:34:11</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Official or Superficial Friendships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1392879</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/official-or-superficial-friendships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>I have an objection! I mean, they constantly say when people don't have friends when they're lonely, it's going to cause cancer. It's going to cause heart problems. It's like smoking 10 packs a day of cigarettes. It's like all they do is scare people. Thanks. Thanks for grabbing a headline and then dropping us off a cliff and saying, okay, bye-bye. I wish we had the audience the massive audience that all these “experts” have because instead of fear, we are actually creating a friendly world.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>In today's episode, we're talking about official or superficial friendships. How do you know if you actually have a friend, why do you depend on something else or somebody else to include you in a friend group, like these people that are parents who are like, oh, don't worry, you'll make friends when your kids make friends, like through their friends. That is so backward. It should be the other way around. . It should be your friends or your children looking at you as an example of how you treat a friendship and how you create a friendship or when you get into a conflict, how you resolve that conflict, or how you walk away from a friendship to maintain your life and your integrity.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Your friends or people who may be watching you that you aren't even aware of. You are a walking role model in society. You are your own brand ambassador. Everybody is. <br /><br />We also talk about the Greek word PHILOI, a word that roughly translates to "friend". This type of friendship is based on the characteristically Greek value for reciprocity as opposed to a friend that exists as an end to itself. </span></strong></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We also explore the word friend in old English. . It's spelled F R E O N D and guess what it means? To love. To favor. Isn't that nice?<br /><br />That leads me to another objection I have. There are more and more articles, which is great; talking about friendship and seem to love rules for friendship and I have an objection to that.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;"> Familiar rather than fellowship.</span><br /><br />Official or Superficial - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How's it going? How's everybody doing out there? Hello, world. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hopefully wonderfully, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so. Objection I have, I've had an objection for a few years now. Major objection. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Objection?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[I have an objection! I mean, they constantly say when people don't have friends when they're lonely, it's going to cause cancer. It's going to cause heart problems. It's like smoking 10 packs a day of cigarettes. It's like all they do is scare people. Thanks. Thanks for grabbing a headline and then dropping us off a cliff and saying, okay, bye-bye. I wish we had the audience the massive audience that all these “experts” have because instead of fear, we are actually creating a friendly world.
In today's episode, we're talking about official or superficial friendships. How do you know if you actually have a friend, why do you depend on something else or somebody else to include you in a friend group, like these people that are parents who are like, oh, don't worry, you'll make friends when your kids make friends, like through their friends. That is so backward. It should be the other way around. . It should be your friends or your children looking at you as an example of how you treat a friendship and how you create a friendship or when you get into a conflict, how you resolve that conflict, or how you walk away from a friendship to maintain your life and your integrity.
Your friends or people who may be watching you that you aren't even aware of. You are a walking role model in society. You are your own brand ambassador. Everybody is. We also talk about the Greek word PHILOI, a word that roughly translates to "friend". This type of friendship is based on the characteristically Greek value for reciprocity as opposed to a friend that exists as an end to itself. 
We also explore the word friend in old English. . It's spelled F R E O N D and guess what it means? To love. To favor. Isn't that nice?That leads me to another objection I have. There are more and more articles, which is great; talking about friendship and seem to love rules for friendship and I have an objection to that.
 Familiar rather than fellowship.Official or Superficial - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello? 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:03] Fawn: How's it going? How's everybody doing out there? Hello, world. 
[00:00:07] Matt: Hopefully wonderfully, 
[00:00:08] Fawn: so. Objection I have, I've had an objection for a few years now. Major objection. 
[00:00:15] Matt: Objection?
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Official or Superficial Friendships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>I have an objection! I mean, they constantly say when people don't have friends when they're lonely, it's going to cause cancer. It's going to cause heart problems. It's like smoking 10 packs a day of cigarettes. It's like all they do is scare people. Thanks. Thanks for grabbing a headline and then dropping us off a cliff and saying, okay, bye-bye. I wish we had the audience the massive audience that all these “experts” have because instead of fear, we are actually creating a friendly world.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>In today's episode, we're talking about official or superficial friendships. How do you know if you actually have a friend, why do you depend on something else or somebody else to include you in a friend group, like these people that are parents who are like, oh, don't worry, you'll make friends when your kids make friends, like through their friends. That is so backward. It should be the other way around. . It should be your friends or your children looking at you as an example of how you treat a friendship and how you create a friendship or when you get into a conflict, how you resolve that conflict, or how you walk away from a friendship to maintain your life and your integrity.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Your friends or people who may be watching you that you aren't even aware of. You are a walking role model in society. You are your own brand ambassador. Everybody is. <br /><br />We also talk about the Greek word PHILOI, a word that roughly translates to "friend". This type of friendship is based on the characteristically Greek value for reciprocity as opposed to a friend that exists as an end to itself. </span></strong></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We also explore the word friend in old English. . It's spelled F R E O N D and guess what it means? To love. To favor. Isn't that nice?<br /><br />That leads me to another objection I have. There are more and more articles, which is great; talking about friendship and seem to love rules for friendship and I have an objection to that.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;"> Familiar rather than fellowship.</span><br /><br />Official or Superficial - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How's it going? How's everybody doing out there? Hello, world. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hopefully wonderfully, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so. Objection I have, I've had an objection for a few years now. Major objection. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Objection?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Um, okay, so we've been obviously talking about the Art of Friendship for many years actually, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> many years before we started the podcast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My objection is to all those experts out there that have the degrees and the doctorates and PhDs, whatever, it's the same thing, right? PhD, doctorate, whatever. Even people I really look up to, like, you know, the Brene Browns and the Surgeon General. Ah. Vivek Murthy okay. My objection is this. I keep listening to these guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. and, and I'm not picking any one person out in particular, but Matt, they're saying the same stuff over and over again. They're not offering solutions, which is what we're doing on this podcast. We're offering solutions </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and we're trying to push the conversation </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> forward. Yeah. But yet, We don't have the notoriety that they do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I e like we don't have the gazillion million people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Followers, whatever you wanna call them that they do. But <strong>here's my objection is. I mean, they constantly say when people don't have friends, when they're lonely, it's like, it's going to cause cancer. It's going to cause heart problems. It's like smoking 10 packs a day of cigarettes.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>It's like all they do is scare </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>people. Right. Thanks. Thanks for grabbing a headline and then dropping us off a cliff and saying, okay, bye-bye. </strong>And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, and they're making the headlines, but hello, let's, I mean, we, and we've been offering solutions like every episode, even if we're talking about blockchain is about , the art of friendship and how we can transform our society into a friendlier one, blah, blah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> La La la , right? . So that's my objection. And so <strong>today's episode we're talking about official or superficial. How do you know if you actually have a friend</strong>, or sometimes you're feeling like, well, I'll take what I can get. So like a nod in the neighborhood will make you think, oh, my friend. And then, you know, then you can.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Go down the line and all of a sudden you're like, something will happen and you realize, oh, that's not what, that was really not a friend. And that's where we come in. That's what we've been talking about is the art of friendship and going back to Aristotle and really taking a look at the different kinds of friendships, like we've discussed this on all the episodes, so I'm not gonna bore you again with a repeat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So today,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> official or superficial. Immediately, like I always go to the same example of living on Bainbridge Island and we would see people and they would literally nod and that they thought that that was friendship, but we couldn't get anyone to party with us</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And by party, I mean like, you know, have a meal with us or hang out, you know, like laugh and just be, to save our lives. Like it was ridiculous. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. And the assumptions people would make. Oh, well, you know, and they'll make friends when they have children in school and they'll make friends with their children's friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But then what happens after your children </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> graduate? But it's also that that's the wrong way to go when. You say, and not just kids. I mean most of our audience who don't have kids, or they're like very young. It's like, wow, <strong>why do you depend on something else or somebody else to include you in a friend group, like these people that are parents who are like, oh, don't worry, you'll make friends when your kids make friends, like through their friends.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>I'm like, whoa, that is so backwards. It should be the other way around. . It should be your friends or your children looking at you as an example of how you treat a friendship and how you create a friendship or when you get into a conflict, how you resolve that conflict, or how you walk away from a friendship to maintain your life, your integrity,</strong> exactly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Your children look to you for, to help frame kind of these kinds of relationships, conversations throughout their entire life, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and not just friendship, I mean not just kids.<strong> But your other friends or people who may be watching you that you aren't even aware of. You are a walking role model in society.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>You are your own brand ambassador. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>Everybody is.</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, so going back again, of course, <strong>let's go back and figure out a word PHILOI</strong> again. Once again, guys, I'm so sorry. I'm mispronouncing it. I'll just spell it. P H I L O I. All right. <strong>Here's the translation or the definition.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>It's a word that roughly translates to "friend". This type of friendship is based on the characteristically Greek value for reciprocity as opposed to a friend that exists as an end to itself. </strong>Matt, I don't understand that definition. . What does, what does that mean when something says, as opposed to a friend that exists as an end to itself, what does that mean, an end to itself?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You gotta look, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think, more at the first part of it. And what they're saying is it's a two-way street. So, You're giving and getting all at once, and that sounds almost mean, or miserly or something because you should just be giving to all your friends Absolutely. All the time. I get it. But you also need to take that slightly, and in my mind it is slightly cynical view and, and making sure that, um, it's a two-way street.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Making sure that you know they're giving you almost to maybe even better than what you give them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Well, all right. <strong>That leads me to another objection I have. Objection. I'm starting to see more and more articles, which is great; talking about friendship. Mm-hmm. and everybody now has rules for friendship and I have an objection to that.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. As well, because much like when you, our first date, you chose for us to go, what do you call it? Miniature golfing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Bring it. That's old school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. That angrified me. . That's my personal word that I developed. Angrify oh, I don't like to play games and I don't like keeping score. I feel rage. So here was Matt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He had a tiny little like notepad. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You get that stupid </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> little scorecard, you get the tiny little stub of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a pencil </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and with such glee he would put down the marks like, you know, cuz he was wi... You know, he was . I had never miniatured golf in my life. I hadn't been </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> miniature golfing in many years. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It doesn't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. But like, wow. It was like<strong> keeping a score</strong> like that.<strong> I never liked it. I don't like it in games. I don't, I don't like it in the corporate world. I don't like it in friendship.</strong> I don't, I think it's terrible and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I completely feel you. And that's yet, I completely disagree with you. What? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> See, this is why you call me Chewbacca because it's the, it's the score</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> keeping them makes me insane.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's the glee. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>Everything should be cooperative</strong>. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the glee that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> makes you insane.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, it's the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> losing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that you, and here's the thing, <strong>what does cooperative mean? Let's take it, let's take it out of friendship. And I'd liked you talking about it as far as business </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>goes. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Can you, can you hold your thought because I wasn't done. I wasn't done with my definitions. . All right. Look, I have another, okay, so <strong>friend is old English. . It's spelled F R E O N D and guess what it means? To love. To favor. Isn't that nice?</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. When you're done explaining your thing, I wanna get back to the list.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The list people are making that I'm objecting to. Objection. Okay, go ahead. What were you gonna say?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Cooperative. Right, so if I'm on a team mm-hmm. , it's at work. Let's take it away from games and let's take it out of superficialness and start bringing it to someplace that people feel should be serious and super tangible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? You need to know, or you know, a team, even as a sports team, you need to know that everyone on your team is doing the best they can do, period. And they all know where their, and this, again, we're away from friendship now for just a second, but, takes you away from everybody knows their role. So on a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> sports, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> takes you away from that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It does, because there are superstars and then there are, you know, there's the people who cart in the water. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm confused, I'm confused. What are you saying? How does that take you away from it? Because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a friendship should be a lot more 50 50. Work Relationships aren't necessarily, nothing is always, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm putting forward.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nothing is always 50 50. Never. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is true. Friendship should be closer though. I understand. I've been in, I've been in work experiences where, you know, I'm the, I'm either the young, young little boy who gets mentored or I am the guy who mentors others. This is Matt </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Natural progression. Well, exactly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's my point.<strong> It's never 50 50</strong>. It's never </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> 50 50. So, <strong>but in those cases it's like 90 10. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. But then there will,<strong> if you give a time, if you look at nature, if you look at the ocean, if you look at the water coming in and going out, there's, there's a yin and yang, there's a, there's a time when one person is 80 and the other person is 20.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>But if you give it time and you see. , the change and the movement in nature. Yes, that will flip. And you're right, so it's never 50 50, but if you give it a chance and you keep looking at it, it balances out.</strong> But if you're so focused on your cute little notepad with your like sticks of like, who has more points?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That I feel like it takes away from everything. It takes away from the enjoyment of life. It takes away from the enjoyment of the game. and it brings out the Chewbacca and me that just wants </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to, that that is definitely true. And had I known that at the time, no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but you're still saying that that's it's needed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We need to keep score. I'm saying in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a <strong>corporate work environment,</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't understand </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> why. because It's important to know, and <strong>it's important to know when you are in the lesser position so you can improve it. And when you're in the superior position, you get paid for it. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay, I understand. But if you, if that's the only way that it works and that's when, that's just, that's the keeping score.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>When the keeping score is the way it is all the time, that's why people like me can't survive in a world like that because you're giving your own timeline to what score should be. And if you're a creative like me, my timeline is a little bit different, but I guarantee you, I'll offer you something that will be invaluable.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Invaluable, right? Yes. That means beyond value. Yes. You can't put, you can't put a number on it, right? I guarantee you, I will provide you amazingness, but if, if it's on your particular timeline or your particular exact graphs or specifications or whatever it it, yeah, you're not gonna see my, my, my value.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're not going to see it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What? Nothing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's like as soon as , as soon as, let's get back to friendship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, I wanna figure this out. Oh. Because this, look, you can, I know, but you can translate anything to friendship. So yeah, there are people out there who, actually, this goes back <strong>to the list that if </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>you do talk about your friendship, if you run your friendships like you would run a team in a business, then that's a huge mistake.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>And I will agree with you a hundred </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>percent on that. Hold on. But isn't that the problem we're facing with today's world is because? Because business is so separated and it's so patriarchal like that it is so beat it over the head, hunt it down and bring it home; as opposed to cooperative as opposed to let's look at the rhythms of nature and let's look at the value of every everything and how it's being provided rather than stats like that.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>I think that's why corporations are so messed up and they've messed up our world. </strong>Sorry, Matt is just staring at me like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> only I You're absolutely right. Again, I said I a hundred percent agree. Don't run your personal friendships the way a business runs a team, but on a team, you have roles, you have responsibilities, and you're, hopefully paid in conjunction with your role and what you bring to the team.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know. I mean, now I'm so far removed from the corporate world. I don't know. I, I respect you because you're able to, knock on wood, you're able to navigate through,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm able to swim through these waters. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I still don't understand. And I'm just now on a, in an extreme belief over here on my side that corporations need to be run More humanely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> More humanely. Thank you. Yes. And you're absolutely right and you know, I'm feel, I feel very blessed right now that I'm working at, you know, my boss is very humane, his boss is very humane. I don't know how far it goes up and down the company, but that's far enough. That's all I need to know and that that's all I need to have to make </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> me happy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, usually when you have bosses like that, chances are that the company runs humanely. Exactly. When you have humane beautifully minded people that are leaders, chances are the company's that way. Exactly. You know, like attracts like. True. Alright,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyways, back to objections. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Alright, so I'm looking at lists and we found one list that was pretty good , but I have an objection still. Even though this list is pretty great, it's like <strong>40 Rules of Friendship</strong>, first </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> of all </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> which sounds like a good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> number. Well, I'm also thinking, oh my God, <strong>here we go with more rules</strong>.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>It's like score keeping again</strong>, . But I'm looking through them and they're nice. You know, they're, they're okay. Just hold on a second. Hold on. Let me finish. I'm not gonna read all 40, but. , um, 40 rules of Friendship, right? They're always there for support. They point out your mistakes truthfully, they care about you, but don't smother you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It goes on and on and on, and <strong>what I found was that, wow, this is all about you. And that's what I object to about all these lists. It's like, this is what needs to happen for you. This is what needs to happen for me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And that's not it guys. That is not the art of friendship.</strong> <strong>The art of friendship is not what can this person do for me?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>How can this person make me feel? That's the number two friendship that we always talk about</strong>, right? True. <strong>The person is there because of how they make you feel. That is not a true friend. It's not all about you feeling supported.</strong> <strong>It's all these rules are about that kind of thing, and that's what I'm objecting to is because, so, All right, for a universal copacetic world to occur to happen, where we use what I believe is the art of friendship to truly spread, it's really looking at everyone as your friend, not what can this person do for me, not how I can feel, not what I can do for them, not scoring points.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>It's just looking at everything and everyone, without any attachment, without any chords, </strong>without any like chords, you know, like you're, you're connected, um, like puppets to each other, , you know what I'm saying? Right. Like straight strings. Right. And I just think that you need, and I've said this before guys, but you need to, I think it would be better if we all looked at things like it was a movie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And like I said before, not the way Matt watches movies because my God, he's analyzing every movement and telling you what's gonna happen before it happens. or like picking out flaws in the plot. Just forget it. Just enjoy it and just watch people. Listen to them, look at them and just appreciate them, even though you may think.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I can't appreciate what I'm looking at. Appreciate that. Do you know what I'm saying? Matt? Appreciate looking at something that doesn't even appeal to you. Appreciating that aspect of it. Like, wow, that is so unappealing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, like case in point, like what not to do. When you look at a behavior like, whoa, thank you for showing me that. I don't ever wanna do that. It's a, I think that's what friendship is. Does that make sense? It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> does, it does. But if you take a look at, uh, Nichomachian Ethics and Friendship, you know, the, the deepest form of friendship is, I just genuinely like this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. Okay. So do you genuinely like people who ignore you, who never listen to what you have to say? Who only complain about hundred percent of their life and don't even give you elbow room in to talk. And if you offer advice, they just tell you you're being ridiculous or stupid </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or silly. That that is where official versus superficial comes in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Because I would say that would be the superficial friend. Look, we drive on the road and I don't get upset at people. If , oops, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sorry about that one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's Matt's timer. , is there something in the oven? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, I accidentally set the timer. Okay. Wait. I wasn't done Behind the curtain, folks. I usually set a timer so we know how long the episode is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so I forgot what I was saying now. Thanks honey. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I always say everybody's your friend. All right, so if someone cuts you off on the road or they're tailgating, they need to get in front of you for whatever reason, but it doesn't matter that you end up at the spot, at the stop sign or the stop light</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> exactly at the same time, it doesn't matter. If they need to be ahead of you and they're acting like a jerk, please just let 'em go. Maybe they need to go to the bathroom. You know, you don't. So when there are mean people out there, I'm like, whoa, our friend is having a bad time. Let's step aside. Right? Let 'em go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Why am I saying this ? What were we saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know. I was about to make my salient point and you cut me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> off. So. Well, I'm just saying that, that that's where official versus superficial comes in, because I say everybody's your friend. Oh, that person who cut us off on the freeway, . Wow. Our friend really needs to get somewhere, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it makes you look at them with compassion, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right? So I call everybody our friend, and right there have been points because we have been heartbroken because of people being mean to us. Where our girls were will say, that is not our friend. I'm like, look, the whole world is our friend. Now there's superficial and there's official.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So I would call those people superficial, right? I'm not that, that's not the true friend. They're still a friend. Look, we're all in this world living on it. It's the same home. We're sharing a home. All right? Yeah. Some superficial friends are demons. Okay, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is true. Now, back to my original point, . Okay? So again, you know, if this person never listened, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, you would say, yeah, you're right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They're not my, they're not my friend. They're not my best friend. They're not my level three, as it were. Nichomachian friends, you're your friends. Hold your friend. Hold on, hold on. They're not a level three friend in the Nichomachian ethics, which is it's not a true friend, which is why it's important to understand why these rules exist, cuz these rules exist to help you identify those people who aren't your true friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right? Here's the difference between us. You are very techy. You need points, you need the score sheet. You need to look at graphs . Yes. I'm just telling you I feel it. Yep. I don't feel this person. I'm just going to look at 'em and keep 'em at a distance. Let 'em go over here. So I, they're not in my sphere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They're my friend. I feel it and I don't feel it. I don't need stats written on a of pad of paper to tell me who's winning, who's not. It, it just is. Right. Whereas, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> whereas, whereas I do, because it helps keep me honest and it helps keep </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> my, my feelings, keep </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> me honest emotions in check and I understand my emotions are checking where the boundaries </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My emotions tell me all of that, man, all our, our emotions tell us all, all of that. But I think, I think, yeah, you, you're a techie who knows </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> an interesting number of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I'm an intuitive, who knows? A certain, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> who knows way more people, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm just saying, you know, yeah. You operate that way and I, I operate this way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yep. You could also say, I don't know. You know what? No, I don't wanna get into gender roles. I don't . No, but what I'm saying is, look, I, I, I think, I think, oh, it sounds so, I was gonna say, I think my way is better . Well, of course </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you do because it works. It's, it's been your pattern as long as you've been alive and it's served you well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. It's hard. We tend to do things that we've had </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> success with. Well, I think<strong> it's heart based, Matt, and I think, the way that things have been run in our society for many centuries has not been heart-based. It's not based coming from love , it's based on stats, and that's what I have an objection to.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I think <strong>that's where I can say this is a superficial, rather than an official thing. It will be superficial to me if it's not coming from the heart both ways. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. And I, I see exactly where you come to that. for me, <strong>the delineation between superficial and official lies in, unfortunately, and this is what really sucks, but trial and struggle.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Like what do you do when their life turns upside down or your life turns upside down? If you run away, superficial, if you draw in and they let you draw in official. And unfortunately it's always in that crucible, those crucible moments, </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>and it doesn't have to be so, </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>and it's, it's really unfortunate. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>It ha It doesn't have to be so drastic.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>I know.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>Because you don't always have to run away, you know, any little tiny movement will be beneficial. Any, anything. It could be just a phone call. It could be like, we've talked about this before. It could be a smile. It could just be saying, I am here. I'm here.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong> That's it. You don't have to get on a plane. You don't have to move the mountains and divide the seas. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, particularly not in this time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So anyway, I also wanna go back to like, okay, let's look at the two other words.<strong> Familiar rather than fellowship.</strong> I think familiar would be in line of superficial, whereas Fellowship would be official Familiar or fellowship Familiar is, yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I know you, you're in the neighborhood or I know you, you're at the grocery store. We cross paths or going back to Bainbridge Island, yeah, they're familiar. I know when you take out your trash, I know when you take your walk, I see you every day. , but it's not a fellowship, and so don't even try to tell me that this is a friendship, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I think that's what really got us so worked up is seeing that kind of behavior on that island and realizing, oh, it's not just this island. It's the state of the world right now. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. Spotting it everywhere. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and you know, maybe, yeah, some people could say about us, oh, you know what you focus on grows, use your own advice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What you focus on grows. Like, I'm sure there are people that are like, no, there are friendships everywhere. The world is so loving and the world is filled with friendships. I have so many friends, I'm sure that exists. But as a whole, take a look at what's happening with all the wars. All the injustices right there, they've always </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> been there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And all the ways we try and divide ourselves up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so the art of friendship can fix all that. I really believe that. And, and as I said it out loud, I kind of went, Ew. But it's true . It's true. And you know what? Just because it's familiar doesn't make it good. Familiar could be you see the Demonn every day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know what the Demonn says, you're familiar with the demonn. It does not make your friend, it's not a fellowship. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Completely understood. Yes. Another definition of familiar, oh, it's actually a quote unquote </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> noun, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> uh oh. Is that family? No. What is it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, wizards in medieval times were believed to have familiars, which were these little critters that would do stuff for them, but they</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> smart pets or servants or it's all very kind of creepy. Very master servant kind of thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Interesting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Very twisted. But they call them like magicians, familiars. Ooh, so like crows and little. Yeah, nevermind. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you see they're not treating them as equals. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, not at all. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. The crows are so smart.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Animals are so smart. Unbelievably. Beyond what scientists know. Brilliant. It's ridiculous. When I hear scientists talk about how humans are, so, uh, what's the word? When they're, they elevate the humans. We're so, like, I don't, I don't remember the word you guys, but like, we're like so greater. I always just disagree and unfortunately a lot of scientists that I love mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that I respect, say that I'm like, oh, ouch. No , but I'm not gonna get on a vegan. Soapbox, soapbox, soapbox. Where does the term soapbox come </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> from? I think in England people would stand on soap boxes in, on Speaker's Corner in London, and they're allowed to talk about anything they want and nobody will stop them or some such Got it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Their dates and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> times and whatevers. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to be way more careful with the words that I'm using. Like we were on the couch yesterday and I heard someone on TV say, chop, chop. And all of a sudden I'm like, whoa, that doesn't sound right. And I've heard it all my life, but all of a sudden I'm like, you guys is that derogatory?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And we looked it up and sure it was, oh my goodness. So, and then you looked up another one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, no, it was brought to my attention head honcho. Yeah. And everybody talks about like kowtow as a word, which again is Yeah. Offensive. But we could, we could spend forever going through offensive words. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I know. We should, we should do another episode on that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. We'll explain it. Because we use words without realizing the implications. And we go through life doing things because we've heard them all along. You know what I'm saying? Right. So we need to be conscious of how we, how we move through life. Anyway, so that's it. Anything to add, Matt? I think I'm good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm good too. I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening to us. If you could please tell the world about us. Tell anyone you can about our podcast and the Art of Friendship movement here, lead them to our podcast. That would help us out. Another thing that's great to show support is to download our episodes leave a kind review.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You can go to our friendly world podcast.com there's a tab to leave reviews right there and reach out to us also. We love that. Thank you. We'll talk to you in a few days. Be well. Bye.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[I have an objection! I mean, they constantly say when people don't have friends when they're lonely, it's going to cause cancer. It's going to cause heart problems. It's like smoking 10 packs a day of cigarettes. It's like all they do is scare people. Thanks. Thanks for grabbing a headline and then dropping us off a cliff and saying, okay, bye-bye. I wish we had the audience the massive audience that all these “experts” have because instead of fear, we are actually creating a friendly world.
In today's episode, we're talking about official or superficial friendships. How do you know if you actually have a friend, why do you depend on something else or somebody else to include you in a friend group, like these people that are parents who are like, oh, don't worry, you'll make friends when your kids make friends, like through their friends. That is so backward. It should be the other way around. . It should be your friends or your children looking at you as an example of how you treat a friendship and how you create a friendship or when you get into a conflict, how you resolve that conflict, or how you walk away from a friendship to maintain your life and your integrity.
Your friends or people who may be watching you that you aren't even aware of. You are a walking role model in society. You are your own brand ambassador. Everybody is. We also talk about the Greek word PHILOI, a word that roughly translates to "friend". This type of friendship is based on the characteristically Greek value for reciprocity as opposed to a friend that exists as an end to itself. 
We also explore the word friend in old English. . It's spelled F R E O N D and guess what it means? To love. To favor. Isn't that nice?That leads me to another objection I have. There are more and more articles, which is great; talking about friendship and seem to love rules for friendship and I have an objection to that.
 Familiar rather than fellowship.Official or Superficial - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello? 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:03] Fawn: How's it going? How's everybody doing out there? Hello, world. 
[00:00:07] Matt: Hopefully wonderfully, 
[00:00:08] Fawn: so. Objection I have, I've had an objection for a few years now. Major objection. 
[00:00:15] Matt: Objection?
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:37</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[7 Ways of Rest Your Body and Mind Need So That You Can Be a Good Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Jan 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1373283</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/7-ways-of-rest-your-body-and-mind-need-so-that-you-can-be-a-good-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Let's talk about rest. R e s t. We're always going, going, going! Doesn't the world to you seem like everything is speeding up faster and faster, and that time is going by incredibly fast, like a rollercoaster fast?<br /><br />Today's episode is on the value of rest and all the different types of rest we need to look at.<br /><br />There are 7 different ways of rest that our bodies need. And when we rest, we are better friends.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">We have a free gift for you. Go to <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> and pick up a free copy of Fawn's “Ikigai of Friendship” companion book</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">And to gift us, tell others about our podcast and leave a kind review.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Seven Ways of Rest - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Woo wee guys, how are you? Hello. Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I feel like, uh, deer Cotton headlights. I don't know what you wanna talk about. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>I wanna talk about rest. R e s t. We're always going, going, going, doesn't the world to you seem like everything is speeding up faster and faster, and that time is going by. incredibly fast, like a rollercoaster, fast.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's a dichotomy for me because if I'm doing a lot of stuff, my individual days go by really fast. But then when I look back what I did a week ago, it seems like a long time ago, it's like a Twilight Zone. So it's a weird thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So yes, it has sped up and yet has slowed down at the same time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I feel like most of us are really working. What's the term? Is it a car term? Working on all cylinders? Is that the term?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Firing on all cylinders. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Firing on all cylinders, constantly nonstop. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>Today's episode is on the value of...</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Let's talk about rest. R e s t. We're always going, going, going! Doesn't the world to you seem like everything is speeding up faster and faster, and that time is going by incredibly fast, like a rollercoaster fast?Today's episode is on the value of rest and all the different types of rest we need to look at.There are 7 different ways of rest that our bodies need. And when we rest, we are better friends.
 
We have a free gift for you. Go to https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ and pick up a free copy of Fawn's “Ikigai of Friendship” companion book
And to gift us, tell others about our podcast and leave a kind review.
Seven Ways of Rest - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Woo wee guys, how are you? Hello. Welcome back. 
[00:00:06] Matt: I feel like, uh, deer Cotton headlights. I don't know what you wanna talk about. . 
[00:00:11] Fawn: I wanna talk about rest. R e s t. We're always going, going, going, doesn't the world to you seem like everything is speeding up faster and faster, and that time is going by. incredibly fast, like a rollercoaster, fast.
[00:00:32] Matt: There's a dichotomy for me because if I'm doing a lot of stuff, my individual days go by really fast. But then when I look back what I did a week ago, it seems like a long time ago, it's like a Twilight Zone. So it's a weird thing.
[00:00:49] Matt: So yes, it has sped up and yet has slowed down at the same time. 
[00:00:54] Fawn: I feel like most of us are really working. What's the term? Is it a car term? Working on all cylinders? Is that the term?
[00:01:05] Matt: Firing on all cylinders. 
[00:01:06] Fawn: Firing on all cylinders, constantly nonstop. 
[00:01:12] Matt: Yes. 
[00:01:14] Fawn: Today's episode is on the value of...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[7 Ways of Rest Your Body and Mind Need So That You Can Be a Good Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Let's talk about rest. R e s t. We're always going, going, going! Doesn't the world to you seem like everything is speeding up faster and faster, and that time is going by incredibly fast, like a rollercoaster fast?<br /><br />Today's episode is on the value of rest and all the different types of rest we need to look at.<br /><br />There are 7 different ways of rest that our bodies need. And when we rest, we are better friends.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">We have a free gift for you. Go to <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> and pick up a free copy of Fawn's “Ikigai of Friendship” companion book</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">And to gift us, tell others about our podcast and leave a kind review.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Seven Ways of Rest - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Woo wee guys, how are you? Hello. Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I feel like, uh, deer Cotton headlights. I don't know what you wanna talk about. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>I wanna talk about rest. R e s t. We're always going, going, going, doesn't the world to you seem like everything is speeding up faster and faster, and that time is going by. incredibly fast, like a rollercoaster, fast.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's a dichotomy for me because if I'm doing a lot of stuff, my individual days go by really fast. But then when I look back what I did a week ago, it seems like a long time ago, it's like a Twilight Zone. So it's a weird thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So yes, it has sped up and yet has slowed down at the same time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I feel like most of us are really working. What's the term? Is it a car term? Working on all cylinders? Is that the term?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Firing on all cylinders. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Firing on all cylinders, constantly nonstop. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>Today's episode is on the value of rest and all the different types of rest we need to look at.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And perhaps the rest is maybe, and the thing is that I don't have time, like the kind, the amount of rest that I think I need. , I seriously don't have the time for. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's terrible. . I haven't even been meditating. You know, I'm a huge meditator. I can't, I can't, no. . And you know what they say is when you don't have time to meditate, you need to be meditating twice as much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I remember reading <strong>Herman Hess in 1946, Magister Lutie</strong> wrote that exact thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What did he say exactly?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You had your leading figure. He just got promoted to be the head of this order and all of a sudden his mentor brought in a meditation master for him and he was like, I don't have time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And he's like, Yeah, you do and he made him meditate and things became clearer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And things can slow down, do slow down when you meditate. So, okay. Meditation is definitely in there. But listen to this. So I don't remember how I came across this, but <strong>there are all these different ways of rest, other types of rest that our bodies need.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the<strong> first one is physical rest: which is either passive or active. Passive rest includes sleeping and napping. And then active rest could be like if you go to a a, a yoga class and the stretching or like getting a massage, that would be more active rest, and that's physical rest.</strong> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Then there's <strong>Sensory Rest:</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> ooh, that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a big one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you know what that is? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, we get bombarded by all sorts of things all the time. Yes. Driving down the road. Or even just on our computers. Or our phones. Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that's why I don't like our podcast being video at the same time, because I think there's something very special about just hearing a human voice and nothing else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not concentrating on what we look like, not looking at our backgrounds and what we're wearing. God knows like all the other things that you're thinking about, but if we're just hearing each other's voices, I think that's very calming and it just, it, it's more balancing, you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's why I like podcasts to just be sound. But anyway, so a sensory rest, you're absolutely. <strong>You can get sensory rest by closing your eyes, unplugging from devices, going somewhere quiet.</strong> That's sensory rest. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Then we have<strong> third one is mental rest, which is taking short breaks throughout your day. Just taking a short break</strong>. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Then we have <strong>creative rest, and that's when you can get out. At nature, it's about surrounding yourself with images of beauty and art. Whatever makes you feel right</strong>, that is creative rest.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's also<strong> emotional rest which means having the time and space to freely express your feelings and cut back on people pleasing</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Any comments? Hmm, . Why? Why are you doing the pouty lip? When I said that,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> pondering that's all. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What are you thinking about? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Just different types of rest and Yeah. Mm. Things I've discovered </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but when I got to emotional rest you started pouting. You made a face.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There you go. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's a face </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What's happening Matt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Nothing?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nothing. Are you,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> am I a people pleaser? . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, but I think your emotions, I think you will shut them down because you don't have time to properly feel something. So you store it away. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I'm a boy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and then other things hap That's terrible. .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then other things happen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You never have time to release what happened because you didn't have time to process it, and that will make you sick. So let's, okay, when we're done, I want you to go and get some emotional rest. Because you, you power, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but I got stuff to do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> (Fawn sighs with frustration) Moving on. We have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>social rest: what is that? </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Taking a break from people?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>It's surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people</strong>,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then the last one that I have is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>spiritual rest.</strong> What's that?? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Meditating on a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> ashram, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>it's the ability to connect beyond the physical and mental and feel a deep sense of belonging, love, acceptance, and purpose.</strong> So those are the types of rest that you need. Anything you wanna add? or anything you wanna express?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt, you look troubled. ? Now I'm troubled. What's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> happening? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, I'm just thinking about like sometimes like one of the ways I'll rest is I'll shift from activity to activity that are radically different and that I defined to myself is probably terrible to do as rest. So I'm just ping ponging from between activities, but they're not, um, you know, they're, they're maybe strenuous in different ways or they touch on different parts of me, you know, mental, spiritual, um, logical, emotional, physical.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, Hey, I'll take a break from writing code and go spin on the bike, </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> After all these years together. I just noticed that about you. It was because of that storm we had last week. You can't sit still . You cannot just be, I just needed, you always need a device or a game or something to, um, make your brain work hard, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> not hard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, for me it's hard , but my God, like I can look at a wall. And be like, look at that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Not me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Look, I can just sit there for a long time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Nope. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What is going on, Matt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Have you always been like that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Almost.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Just am. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What do you think will happen if you do nothing and you just sit quietly? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, here's the problem. It's almost. Summer camp, we'd go for a hike. Right. Or even, you know, day camp or whatever you want to call it. We go for a hike. Right. And usually about half or a third of the way or two thirds of the way done, you'll take a break.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Okay. And everybody just kind of sits on the side of the trail, hydrates a little bit, maybe eats a little nosh and then you set off again. Right. I am never rested. I'm just as tired as when I started taking the break. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So it's like the rest does mean no good. As a matter of fact, it almost hurts me because then it just takes longer to finish the silly hike.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, I understand what you're saying. When I worked in offices, I hated taking breaks because once I stopped that mad routine of like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go and do, do, do, do, do like quickly and ferociously and with expertise and like all this energy. and then you take a 10 minute break or even a 30 minute break.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> By the way, in America, you get, you're lucky if you get a 30 minute break to go buy lunch or get your lunch, eat it, and then be back in the office all within 30 minutes. Guys, that's not okay. But anyway, that's another show. So, but I remember, I'm like, ugh, I, I don't want to take a break because once I take a break, it's so hard to wind up again to that level right of extreme.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Doing Right. So it's more painful. So I'd rather just keep going through the pain and not know what I'm missing, which is I could be relaxing . You know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. No, I, I work so much better. I'm sharpest first thing in the morning, and after lunch I'm dullest. And it's just how, it's how I've always been.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I hear about people who aren't that way and I'm like, Well, good for you being like terrible first thing in the morning, but better after, after lunch. I am at my worst at the end of the day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. With so many things like, people who do voiceovers, I was just told don't do it. When at the end of the day, like, don't record.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>At the end of a long day, you're tired, you're not as good, So we need rest, you guys. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>All sorts of rest. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>Yeah. Everything also needs rest. Yes. Sometimes you can't figure something out that you need to work on, like a problem; you can't find a solution, let it rest. The answer will find you </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>definitely true.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But you need to physically rest your body and your mind and your spirit . Because something else will find you ,will knock you on the head. Don't let that happen. Just, yeah, please get some rest. Love you. That's all I have to say today. Quick. Get some rest, guys. Come on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Fair enough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's have a little nap. Or let's go outside and play.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or let's go outside and just be and listen to the birds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Curl up with a blanket and have a good cry and stare at the wall. Well, in my case, sometimes I stare at the wall , but like, have a good cry. Watch a movie, get some ice cream. Whatever makes you feel good, go and do it right now. That's, that's an order,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Love you guys. Talk to you later. Thanks for listening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Be well </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> talk to you soon. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/50f6f16c-bf34-42bb-9d8e-e57e7812a209/7-Ways-of-Rest-.mp3" length="12157258"
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Let's talk about rest. R e s t. We're always going, going, going! Doesn't the world to you seem like everything is speeding up faster and faster, and that time is going by incredibly fast, like a rollercoaster fast?Today's episode is on the value of rest and all the different types of rest we need to look at.There are 7 different ways of rest that our bodies need. And when we rest, we are better friends.
 
We have a free gift for you. Go to https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ and pick up a free copy of Fawn's “Ikigai of Friendship” companion book
And to gift us, tell others about our podcast and leave a kind review.
Seven Ways of Rest - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Woo wee guys, how are you? Hello. Welcome back. 
[00:00:06] Matt: I feel like, uh, deer Cotton headlights. I don't know what you wanna talk about. . 
[00:00:11] Fawn: I wanna talk about rest. R e s t. We're always going, going, going, doesn't the world to you seem like everything is speeding up faster and faster, and that time is going by. incredibly fast, like a rollercoaster, fast.
[00:00:32] Matt: There's a dichotomy for me because if I'm doing a lot of stuff, my individual days go by really fast. But then when I look back what I did a week ago, it seems like a long time ago, it's like a Twilight Zone. So it's a weird thing.
[00:00:49] Matt: So yes, it has sped up and yet has slowed down at the same time. 
[00:00:54] Fawn: I feel like most of us are really working. What's the term? Is it a car term? Working on all cylinders? Is that the term?
[00:01:05] Matt: Firing on all cylinders. 
[00:01:06] Fawn: Firing on all cylinders, constantly nonstop. 
[00:01:12] Matt: Yes. 
[00:01:14] Fawn: Today's episode is on the value of...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:12:39</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Gift]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Jan 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1369151</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-gift-5</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Everything is a gift, but it's not your responsibility to accept every gift that's given to you. Just because someone offers you something, does not mean you have to accept it. <br /><br /><br />    The word "gift" has been around for a long, long time, and when you get into German and you break it down, it basically means to give or receive, or natural talent. But if you keep looking further into the etymology and other aspects of the gift, it's also meaning "poison". Let's look at the word poison: deadly potion or substance, also figuratively, spiritually corrupting ideas, evil intentions.<br /><br />     Be choosy and pick the loveliest gifts. That's with friendships, that's with everything in your life; what you surround yourself with. </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>When do you know how to let go of the gift (the good gift)? When a gift has already served you, perhaps it's time to share that gift. That gift could be something like, you'll learn how to do something, so then you become someone's mentor. You're gifting them your experience and helping them out.</strong><br /><br /></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     We have a free gift for you. Go to <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> and pick up a free copy of Fawn's “Ikigai of Friendship” companion book</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>And to gift us, tell others about our podcast, and leave a kind review. Thank you!</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Gift – TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back guys. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. Lovies loves. Hello friends. . Hello. Welcome back, . You know, welcome back. I learned from a swami that everything is a gift, but it's not your responsibility to accept every gift that's given to you. And. That came to me at a point where I was feeling, the weight of everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And there were people that were mean to me that there were situations where I, I was being faced with that I was just handling everything. And last week we talked about the power of saying no, and I was saying that, it's become so rude now that people have gone overboard with a word no you know, like, no, I choose not to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like that kind of, no, but looking at everything in life as a gift, you are not meant to experience everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What do you mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">...</span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Everything is a gift, but it's not your responsibility to accept every gift that's given to you. Just because someone offers you something, does not mean you have to accept it.     The word "gift" has been around for a long, long time, and when you get into German and you break it down, it basically means to give or receive, or natural talent. But if you keep looking further into the etymology and other aspects of the gift, it's also meaning "poison". Let's look at the word poison: deadly potion or substance, also figuratively, spiritually corrupting ideas, evil intentions.     Be choosy and pick the loveliest gifts. That's with friendships, that's with everything in your life; what you surround yourself with. When do you know how to let go of the gift (the good gift)? When a gift has already served you, perhaps it's time to share that gift. That gift could be something like, you'll learn how to do something, so then you become someone's mentor. You're gifting them your experience and helping them out.
     We have a free gift for you. Go to https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ and pick up a free copy of Fawn's “Ikigai of Friendship” companion book
And to gift us, tell others about our podcast, and leave a kind review. Thank you!
 
The Gift – TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back guys. 
[00:00:02] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:03] Fawn: Hello. Lovies loves. Hello friends. . Hello. Welcome back, . You know, welcome back. I learned from a swami that everything is a gift, but it's not your responsibility to accept every gift that's given to you. And. That came to me at a point where I was feeling, the weight of everything.
[00:00:28] Fawn: And there were people that were mean to me that there were situations where I, I was being faced with that I was just handling everything. And last week we talked about the power of saying no, and I was saying that, it's become so rude now that people have gone overboard with a word no you know, like, no, I choose not to.
[00:00:51] Fawn: Like that kind of, no, but looking at everything in life as a gift, you are not meant to experience everything. 
[00:01:03] Matt: What do you mean?
...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Gift]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Everything is a gift, but it's not your responsibility to accept every gift that's given to you. Just because someone offers you something, does not mean you have to accept it. <br /><br /><br />    The word "gift" has been around for a long, long time, and when you get into German and you break it down, it basically means to give or receive, or natural talent. But if you keep looking further into the etymology and other aspects of the gift, it's also meaning "poison". Let's look at the word poison: deadly potion or substance, also figuratively, spiritually corrupting ideas, evil intentions.<br /><br />     Be choosy and pick the loveliest gifts. That's with friendships, that's with everything in your life; what you surround yourself with. </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>When do you know how to let go of the gift (the good gift)? When a gift has already served you, perhaps it's time to share that gift. That gift could be something like, you'll learn how to do something, so then you become someone's mentor. You're gifting them your experience and helping them out.</strong><br /><br /></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     We have a free gift for you. Go to <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> and pick up a free copy of Fawn's “Ikigai of Friendship” companion book</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>And to gift us, tell others about our podcast, and leave a kind review. Thank you!</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Gift – TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back guys. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. Lovies loves. Hello friends. . Hello. Welcome back, . You know, welcome back. I learned from a swami that everything is a gift, but it's not your responsibility to accept every gift that's given to you. And. That came to me at a point where I was feeling, the weight of everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And there were people that were mean to me that there were situations where I, I was being faced with that I was just handling everything. And last week we talked about the power of saying no, and I was saying that, it's become so rude now that people have gone overboard with a word no you know, like, no, I choose not to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like that kind of, no, but looking at everything in life as a gift, you are not meant to experience everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What do you mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> On your own? When someone offers you something, you don't have to accept it. Just because someone offers you a gift, cuz that gift could be not nice </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and Yes, absolutely. And of course and as we all well know, there are the dueling sayings of don't look to gift horse in the mouth and, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, but you, I think mostly we are feeling like, oh, we can't turn down a gift. Do you know what I'm saying? Or like, even when bad things happen, we're like, well, that's a gift, , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but , let's, well, we, we attempt to frame things in a positive way. Hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Oh, well let's get into the etymology of gift. Let's just figure out what that is. Which is really bizarre; what I'm about to read. Okay, so a gift, the entymology of it is "that which is given". It comes from Scandinavian, old Norse, which looks exactly like gift, gift or gift gift.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Good luck. Proto Germanic Geftiz, G E F T I Z, source also of Old Saxon gift. So basically the word gift goes way, way, way back. But when you get to, when you go to like old Friesian, which is Jefte, I don't know how you pronounce it, you guys. It's J E F T E. Middle Dutch is G H I F T E.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The word "gift" has been around for a long, long time, and when you get into the German and you break it down, it basically means to give, but if you keep looking further into it, there's G H A B H. , which again means to give or receive. And we're also looking at it's also a natural talent, it means all these things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But for German, G I F T, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, G I F T, it's also meaning "poison". </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Isn't that interesting? So let's look at the word poison. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh man. I don't know if I want to go there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It means also poison: a deadly potion or substance, also figuratively, spiritually corrupting ideas, evil intentions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It goes on. But isn't that interesting, Matt, considering what we were taught by a Swami a long time ago, and the fact that gift is also linked with "poison', like the word is the same as poison. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. Well, honestly, to me it depends on the nature of the, what you're being offered, you know what exactly is on offer?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So you really wanted to talk about this today. What brought this up for you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You hear about a lot of people. I hear rather, from, people around me of just instances where it's one of these things that, Hmm. Best way to describe it is, I used to think I was super wise, cause all my friends would come to me and talk to me about all sorts of stuff that, you know, was really weighing on them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And it was usually something they were emotionally connected to. And because I wasn't emotionally connected to it, I could clearly see what was going on in their world and they were like, oh, you're so right. Matt And I felt brilliant until I was emotionally connected to stuff and then I couldn't let it go and, and whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So I've been talking with people around me lately and they're, There's a lot of history and there's a lot of things going on, and there's a lot of commitments and people are bringing them things that they need them to do, and these people are saying, okay, yes, absolutely. So instead of necessarily a gift, I'm just, I've been thinking more about people being, asked to accept</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> basically a burden or a poison maybe. Mm-hmm. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And, and these people don't feel like they're in a place where they can say no. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Like, I felt like that with my family, and that's why I had to completely separate myself from them completely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Because they were, that's what they kept offering me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it was because what, what? Because you're related. , whatever the situation is, so you're supposed to take it. You're supposed to take everything that they throw out at you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> don't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Due to these types of obligations. And as a, in point of fact, recently, there's an NFL team that's maybe not doing so well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, Indianapolis Colts and they fired their head coach. and they offered the job to another guy. The other guy said, who was, I think he might have been the quarterback's coach. It doesn't matter. He wasn't the head coach, but he was one of the important quote unquote important coaches. And he said, no thanks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He actually, and everybody was like, because it's almost like it's un-American to say, I don't want this promotion, or I don't want this promotion right now. And people look at you like you're fundamentally flawed somehow if you turn it down; in the same way, they look at you like you're, I don't know, ungrateful if you, if it's a familial obligation and you turn it down, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like people looked at me all evil and I'm sure they still do if they find out that I had to cut off my family . But yeah, I'm not obligated. Just because you're related to someone doesn't mean that you have to put up with abuse, right? No one has to put up with abuse. And I hear people all the time saying, oh God, bless them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Look at that. They were totally beaten up as a kid. They were totally abused, but they got it back together. They're back together. They forgave and they're back together. And I think most people that I, I used to talk to would say that about me. I'm like, NO. You know, some people won't change. Some people just don't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you have to be okay with that. You have to accept that, and it's hard. It's like a huge magnet, always pulling you back to these people that are constantly hurting you or a situation that is constantly hurting you because you feel like you have to keep accepting it and you don't. You know, a long time ago, I was on a huge photo shoot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We were out in the bush, we were in Ethiopia,. I shared this this whole excursion with a famous photographer, meaning we split the cost in half. Mm-hmm. , I was an unknown photographer, not sponsored by anyone. I was working for myself, and he was sponsored by a whole bunch of galleries and huge companies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> everything was paid for for him. You know what I'm saying? Right. And it was so abusive. He was so disgusting. He was horrible to pretty much everybody and the earth, like horrible, egotistical horribleness. And, and I kept putting up with it. And, um, one day after so many things went down after our lives were in danger for like the fifth time</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> one of the people that we traveled with, we, we traveled with two people. Mm-hmm. one is a person who drives and the other person is responsible for negotiating with the tribes and like, speaks the language, speaks the lang. They both speak the language. Oh, okay. But like, but yeah, maneuvering things and making sure that you're safe, um, that everything is copacetic, that you don't do anything wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That basically they keep you safe. Anyway, one day we were sitting by the fire and it was just me and them. The, the other photographer was off somewhere and they're like, they, they were talking to me, but they weren't talking at me. They were like, why do you keep accepting this? Like, and then shortly before that, I overheard them talking about me and they were saying, it must be self-esteme.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Now, I don't know if they were talking about me, but that rang true. I'm like, if it is me that they're talking about, it's true. I didn't believe in myself. I didn't feel like, I felt like I deserved it. Whatever. Whatever it was. You know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that. I, it's okay. I'm used to it, and that changed me forever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm like, wait a minute. I don't deserve this abuse. I don't deserve this ugliness. I don't deserve this crap. And that changed me. And I'm here to let you know that of all the gifts in the world, be choosy and pick the loveliest gifts for yourself. That's with friendships, that's with everything in your life, what you surround yourself with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And we have to remember that. And sometimes we need a friend gifting us the harsh truth of, wow, you must have so low self-esteem, . Ouch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But sometimes, yes, you're right. It is necessary. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, and you know what? It didn't hurt. It was like an eye-opening experience. It didn't hurt my feelings because I knew that they felt about me; they looked at me like I was special. That I was, I was, I. Of value to the world, and they couldn't believe that I had low self-esteem. You know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So as a friend, we're letting you know that you are worth it. You are magnificent and special, and you deserve beautiful gifts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So take a look around and see. , what's the word, Matt? Is it perfunctory? Things are around you? Like what does that mean? Just think perfunctory just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> means you're just taking a look at what's going on and you're just like, yeah, okay. Like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're peripheral . What you, you're just like, eh, whatever. But like what kind of stuff around you is just, there is stuff in your life?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Take a good look at everything. Everything should have beautiful significance, don't you think, Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I. I do. And even moments in time, like one of the things that's been so interesting in, you know, moving is everything's new and all of a sudden you're really looking at the entire world with what they call zen mind, beginner's mind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're looking at everything brand new because guess what? Everything is brand new. and it's about holding onto that feeling. And it's about, it's about this morning, we looked across the street, the light was really pretty this morning, and we looked across the street at a building and, and I was like, wow, look at that building, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And, and, and you said, yeah, but look at those birds on that tree. And I'm like, what birds? I didn't see 'em because I'm short and there was only like, there was. 30 birds on this street. Right. And I didn't see it, but it's, you were like, it's about paying attention. It's about, and it's about looking at things and really saying, this is beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . And, you know, maybe even dare to say, I deserve this. I deserve to feel this way. I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> et cetera, I deserve. My life deserves for me to pause and honor this thing, or the thing deserves being honor. Right. And , you never know. It's not just for you, but other people. So as we were looking at this thing, Matt was wanting to keep walking, but I'm like, of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like, hold on, hold on. So we were in the parking lot and I was standing in a parking spot. Okay. I didn't realize it was a parking spot. And I was like, oh my God, Matt, look, not just at the birds, but I'm like, the light is so bizarre right now. It's so beautiful. There was like dark clouds, but everything was not dark like, like dark as in like, whoa, dark woo</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I can't talk today. But it wasn't like sinister. It was like this beautiful dark shade, and the buildings were illuminated, and then the trees in front of them were like hyper illuminated like gold. Beautiful. And I was like, wow. And I didn't wanna move. I was just like, oh my goodness. And the air smelled lovely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The air did smell lovely, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> delicious. and then I realized there's a woman trying to pull into that parking spot that I was in. Like I was standing there and I, and I looked at her, I'm like, oh my God, I'm sorry. So like a pigeon, I like kind of flew up and like got on the sidewalk . But, and then we went into the, it was a coffee shop, you guys, so we went into the coffee shop and we were taking forever ordering cuz we were talking to our friend who works there and she, we were, I don't know, it was taking forever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And the same lady who was waiting for me to move so she could park, she was right behind us. I'm like, oh no, it's you again. I'm, I'm sorry. Oh yes, . I said, oh no, I'm sorry. I'm holding you up again. And she's like, no, no, it's okay. And by the way, what were you looking at ? So we told her and she said, I wish I would've looked.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't realize, I wish I would've seen it, because she was like, why were you standing there? And what were you looking at? Like, I was wondering. So we told her. Right. Anyway, it's even connections are everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Everywhere. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the gift could spread, right? But also a gift could get moldy</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's the other thing. You know, what are, what are, you know, things that people accept that maybe they shouldn't. and you know, I did briefly talk about the guy who was offered the promotion and turned it down because heaven forbid you turned down a promotion. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> also, like when I said a gift can get moldy is perhaps it's time to pass the gift along to someone else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes it is</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to, keep it going, like flowing water. If water is left stagnant, it gets dirty. And moldy. But if it keeps flowing, the gift can still be beautiful and shiny. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So when do you know how to let go of the gift? The good gift. Do you know what I'm saying? The good one, because it always, it, it already served your purpose and it will be with you forever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So now perhaps it's time to share that gift , right. That gift could be something like, you'll learn how to do something, so then you become someone's mentor. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, okay. That's fair. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So you're gifting them your experience and helping them out. Right. It's phenomenal. Like I, I have a mentor and Wow, I'm so grateful because it will like, I, okay, it's like going school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I always envied people at university because I had to work so hard and pay in cash for every, every, every class I had at university and I couldn't afford to finish and get a degree, and I always felt bad about that. And I looked at other people who were at University, who had it taken care of by their parents, or they got grants or they got financial aid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, they had help in some way, in some fashion where they could just go to school and focus on going to school. I never had that luxury and I saw it as a luxury. Mm-hmm. , and I would look at these people who would go to these lecture halls. I'm like, look at that. Sorry guys. I left my. Where is it ? It's probably in your jacket.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So, but I would look at these people who would go to class to school and I'm like, wow. All they have to do is go and sit down and be fed information where I have to go pound the streets and maybe take months and sometimes years to understand how to do something or to get exposed to a certain level of something where I can be in the "in" crowd.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. But when you have, you know what I mean? It's a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> gift. It is. And you know, I'm sitting over here feeling a little guilty cuz I was in the latter. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You shouldn't feel guilty. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And you shouldn't feel guilty. It was a gift. Appreciate it for what it was. Be thankful for what it was because yeah, that's all I had to do was sit in a lecture hall and be spoon fed information.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Awesome. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, in you. . I didn't know a lot back then, and I'm sure everything I experienced is a gift for me, right? Because I turned out the way I did. You know? Uh, obviously it has some greater purpose that I'm, that maybe I, I'm, it's more than I'm aware of. The purpose is more than I'm aware of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, there's a reason for everything. I believe that. Mm-hmm. . So anyway, many kinds of gifts and have you ever gotten a gift? This happened at our wedding. Have you ever gotten a gift that is so wrapped; beautifully wrapped, but there's crap inside.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> When we got married, for those of you who've been listening to us for a long time, you've heard us talk about our wedding. We were on our friend's podcast who's a wedding planner, and it was an hour long show where we told her every detail about what happened at our wedding. It was crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway, so many, it's a movie, but one of the other things that went wrong in our wedding was the photographer who was a supposed friend of mine. , every photograph he took was terrible. Out of focus. Horrible. I mean, so many things. I don't wanna get into it. I'm gonna get really angry again. Huh, guys? So he wrapped everything, like all the negatives and everything in this beautiful box, like really well wrapped.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Really, he did it because he didn't want me to open it right away in front of him. And to see, because he knew I wasn't a hurry, that I would only like meet him for like 30 seconds to grab the pictures and leave. So it was beautifully wrapped. Like a present. Mm-hmm. , pretty little bow and everything. And then when we got home, I opened it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was like, what the hell is this? ? Horrible guys. Horrible. Like seriously, we don't have any photos of our wedding. The few that were, that I salvaged myself, I had to completely Photoshop and only print very, very, very, very small pictures cuz they're terrible. Anyway, I digress. Yes, but always look at like don't be fooled by the package.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> True. Definitely true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Any other gifts you can think? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I was thinking about it and I was more thinking about things people might offer that maybe you should, you need to think twice and three times about, and one of those things really is, I don't really participate a lot on like a Facebook as far as social networking goes, but welcome to LinkedIn because, well, there you go, as a professional, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Just because somebody sends you a friend request, or a LinkedIn request doesn't mean you have to say, okay. And I know there's like this weird statusy thing about, oh yes, I have 500 plus connections, but if you don't know these people, if you can't vouch for these people, are you gonna have guilt by association by just being connected to these people?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Something to really think about. It's, it's, it's a very delicate thing to bring someone into your circle, to bring someone into your list, your network. , and it's something to really consider and really be careful about. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Is it nourishing or is it poison? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there you go, nourishing and poison.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And also, you know, looking at another instance where they're always like, oh, you should never, ever, ever accept a counter offer. So when you leave a job, oftentimes as you're saying, I redesign, they're like, oh, you know, of course we'll match your salary. What do you, what do you need to stay?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> People always say, don't do it. Don't ever do it. And the real,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The reason, well, the rationale behind it and, you know, to say never, it's more of a, mostly like, almost never. Mm-hmm. . But the problem is, is that, there are reasons why you started looking. Mm-hmm. , it's never, it's rarely ever just the money.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's usually other stuff and sometimes it's just, I want a new challenge or a change of scenery. I want to see what life is out there cuz maybe you've been in a job too long. Sometimes it's a toxic boss, which is not gonna be fixed by money. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Matt, would this be equivalent to a friendship or like a romantic relationship where you say, I wanna leave and then they talk you into staying so you stay, but then they always know</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that you were planning to leave. So then it's also an opportunity for them to be the one that leaves or makes you leave. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And and there you go. And that's the other thing that they, they always talk about is they, um, is certainly if you've already resigned and then they need to make, and they, they dragged you back and you stayed and maybe you're doing what exactly what you did before, but if they have to make cuts, you're at the top of the list</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because you were gonna leave anyways. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're suspect. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. . </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And then there's that whole sense of refusing drama.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I had a friend that would always say, , and it seemed so inopportune. Is that the word? What's the word? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You have to gimme the complete thought. Inopportune is a good word, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but it, it seemed harsh. Like you're in the middle of something and the person says, save the drama for your mama, Hao. Save the drama for your mama.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> which is funny because I've heard the kids say it. Mm-hmm. , I'm like, Hey, I don't want it. , . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's just, yeah. Sometimes it's like, you know, you need to weigh it and you need to figure out whether or not, you're willing to continue forward. And sometimes it's continue forward in a relationship with someone, friendship, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Accepting the fact that, you know, they're, they want you to accept this level of. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and sometimes you have to be clear of what you are willing to accept. For example, talking about actual physical gifts, I've had to tell so many of our friends, please don't send us gifts, please, because we want to have a minimal household, meaning that we don't want a bunch of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we don't want a lot of things right? So please stop buying gifts because you're trying to show your affection. You're trying to show that you love us and you love the kids. You don't have to buy something. We're all about experience, so you don't need to buy a physical thing and then some, and then they don't get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So then I have to say, look, it's a burden when you send us gifts. You know, like I don't want a bunch of stuff. Right. or like remember like plastic stuff. Like I couldn't stand anything plastic. Mm-hmm. or toxic, you know, like people don't realize something is to, you know, they just buy stuff because it's cute.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. I'm like, oh my God, this will end up in the landfill. Yep. Like, please don't, because we would never buy this. Right. Um, so please don't, so you have to explain things several times. So you have to explain, I. You have to let people know what you're about and what you're willing to accept on all levels.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. Not just like physical, cute, little gifts, right? You have to express to people what you're willing to express. To what you're willing to accept. Accept, accept. Accept. , not except . English is very bizarre. It is. English is so hard. Too many </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> rules. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ugh. Too many rules and then they're like, oh, in this case we we're gonna break this rule.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway, that's another show. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> For those of you studying English around the world, I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Me too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My goodness. I mean, seriously. And I don't even wanna get into the semicolon punctuation. Anyway. All right. Are we, are we done? I think we're done. Is that our message for today? That is our message today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here's a little gift for you. Accept it or not . We love you so much. Thank you for the gift of listening. We love you so much and we'll talk to you in a few days. Take care. Be well. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Everything is a gift, but it's not your responsibility to accept every gift that's given to you. Just because someone offers you something, does not mean you have to accept it.     The word "gift" has been around for a long, long time, and when you get into German and you break it down, it basically means to give or receive, or natural talent. But if you keep looking further into the etymology and other aspects of the gift, it's also meaning "poison". Let's look at the word poison: deadly potion or substance, also figuratively, spiritually corrupting ideas, evil intentions.     Be choosy and pick the loveliest gifts. That's with friendships, that's with everything in your life; what you surround yourself with. When do you know how to let go of the gift (the good gift)? When a gift has already served you, perhaps it's time to share that gift. That gift could be something like, you'll learn how to do something, so then you become someone's mentor. You're gifting them your experience and helping them out.
     We have a free gift for you. Go to https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ and pick up a free copy of Fawn's “Ikigai of Friendship” companion book
And to gift us, tell others about our podcast, and leave a kind review. Thank you!
 
The Gift – TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back guys. 
[00:00:02] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:03] Fawn: Hello. Lovies loves. Hello friends. . Hello. Welcome back, . You know, welcome back. I learned from a swami that everything is a gift, but it's not your responsibility to accept every gift that's given to you. And. That came to me at a point where I was feeling, the weight of everything.
[00:00:28] Fawn: And there were people that were mean to me that there were situations where I, I was being faced with that I was just handling everything. And last week we talked about the power of saying no, and I was saying that, it's become so rude now that people have gone overboard with a word no you know, like, no, I choose not to.
[00:00:51] Fawn: Like that kind of, no, but looking at everything in life as a gift, you are not meant to experience everything. 
[00:01:03] Matt: What do you mean?
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:27:25</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Understanding Nate from Ted Lasso]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Jan 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1366621</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/understanding-nate-from-ted-lasso</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="color:#0000cc;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#000000;">Someone you help out that you love, who also loves you may turn on you. We've all heard the term “hurt people hurt.” The people who have hurt in them, who've experienced some sort of abuse (emotional pain or even physical pain) tend to lash out. Not everybody does that, but it's kind of like having a wound and you have to let the puss or whatever is in there come out. <br /><br />We live in a world where we're all interconnected. So how do we handle that kind of outburst or conflict? How do we handle that when that's us or someone we see who's needing to vent or who's needing to clear all that stuff out? How can we get rid of all that stuff from the inside, release it, and how do we deal with it when we have to deal with other people in our community? The world is our community. What one person experiences, we all experience. How do we release this hurt safe way? In today's episode, we use the character Nate from the TV series Ted Lasso to explore who we pay attention to and how to create a loving way to release hurt and pain.</span></strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Understanding Nate from Ted Lasso TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Are we ready? Yeah. No, , come </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> on. It's early or it's late or it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> something. Hi everybody. Hello. How are you doing? What are you doing out there? Where are you? Hmm. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> had a power outage yesterday. We still kind of do. Now we have no internet, but I'm, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> very thankful for electricity </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> today. We are so thankful Matt and I.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt and I got caught out there, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We were being stupid or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> silly. Oh my God. We were so stupid, silly. We went out in a major storm. The </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">...</span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Someone you help out that you love, who also loves you may turn on you. We've all heard the term “hurt people hurt.” The people who have hurt in them, who've experienced some sort of abuse (emotional pain or even physical pain) tend to lash out. Not everybody does that, but it's kind of like having a wound and you have to let the puss or whatever is in there come out. We live in a world where we're all interconnected. So how do we handle that kind of outburst or conflict? How do we handle that when that's us or someone we see who's needing to vent or who's needing to clear all that stuff out? How can we get rid of all that stuff from the inside, release it, and how do we deal with it when we have to deal with other people in our community? The world is our community. What one person experiences, we all experience. How do we release this hurt safe way? In today's episode, we use the character Nate from the TV series Ted Lasso to explore who we pay attention to and how to create a loving way to release hurt and pain.
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
Understanding Nate from Ted Lasso TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Okay. Are we ready? Yeah. No, , come 
[00:00:03] Matt: on. It's early or it's late or it's 
[00:00:06] Fawn: something. Hi everybody. Hello. How are you doing? What are you doing out there? Where are you? Hmm. 
[00:00:14] Matt: We 
[00:00:14] Fawn: had a power outage yesterday. We still kind of do. Now we have no internet, but I'm, 
we're 
[00:00:19] Matt: very thankful for electricity 
[00:00:20] Fawn: today. We are so thankful Matt and I.
[00:00:23] Fawn: Matt and I got caught out there, . 
[00:00:25] Matt: We were being stupid or 
[00:00:27] Fawn: silly. Oh my God. We were so stupid, silly. We went out in a major storm. The 
...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Understanding Nate from Ted Lasso]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="color:#0000cc;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#000000;">Someone you help out that you love, who also loves you may turn on you. We've all heard the term “hurt people hurt.” The people who have hurt in them, who've experienced some sort of abuse (emotional pain or even physical pain) tend to lash out. Not everybody does that, but it's kind of like having a wound and you have to let the puss or whatever is in there come out. <br /><br />We live in a world where we're all interconnected. So how do we handle that kind of outburst or conflict? How do we handle that when that's us or someone we see who's needing to vent or who's needing to clear all that stuff out? How can we get rid of all that stuff from the inside, release it, and how do we deal with it when we have to deal with other people in our community? The world is our community. What one person experiences, we all experience. How do we release this hurt safe way? In today's episode, we use the character Nate from the TV series Ted Lasso to explore who we pay attention to and how to create a loving way to release hurt and pain.</span></strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Understanding Nate from Ted Lasso TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Are we ready? Yeah. No, , come </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> on. It's early or it's late or it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> something. Hi everybody. Hello. How are you doing? What are you doing out there? Where are you? Hmm. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> had a power outage yesterday. We still kind of do. Now we have no internet, but I'm, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> very thankful for electricity </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> today. We are so thankful Matt and I.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt and I got caught out there, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We were being stupid or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> silly. Oh my God. We were so stupid, silly. We went out in a major storm. The </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> storm was kind of over. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, it was still, I mean, no. Yeah, the remnants of it were still here, so we had a huge power outage and it was scary. It was our first time in our new living here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> where we experienced a major storm and the lights were out normally we're prepared. Right. Normally I'm like very well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We had, we, we went without power for like 10 or 12, 14 </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">days, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> days, days. I know, and I'm usually very like the military, like I have everything set up. I know exactly where everything is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have hot water stored for us. But this, I've been so relaxed ever since we've settled here. , I don't know if that's good or bad, Matt. Anyway, while the kids were still sleeping and everything was still dark, we're like, let's go get them and surprise them with some hot chocolate. Yeah. And that way we can figure out does anyone have power out there in the world, or is, is it just our little area?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway, we got stuck out. , all these trees were down. We didn't, I thought, we thought we could make it back because we found a way to get out of town. Not town, but like get into the major part of town. But on the way back, everything was closed off, like everything, and we couldn't get back home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I started to, I I, I was about to start crying. , right? Yeah. You panicked. But I was panicking. And then the police, you were like, let's just pull over and ask the police, like explain to them what we're trying to do. We were trying to get. and I'm like, I don't . Uh, no, uh, I don't, I don't because I was driving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right, right. I'm like, oh my God. So we, we get closer to the cop and stop picking at your stuff. Matt hurt his finger and he had to go to that doctor and now he keeps picking at it. Anyway, stop it. So what happened was I was, I think I was scared and you know, those of you who know me in person, I cannot hide my emotions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like you can read everything on my face. I can't hide. And so I probably looked terrified cuz I, I'm from la I'm used to like being afraid of the police. So , I think the closer we got, my eyes probably looked like humongous. Like I looked probably insane to him, like cuz I was scared to talk to him. and he's like, Hey, don't worry, I don't bite.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He didn't say it like that. What did he say? He was cute. He was like, don't worry, I don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> bite. I didn't hear it like that. I did, I did not hear it like that because I'm like, okay. Cuz he was motioning for me to come closer and as I did like what, six inches and moved the car. He is like, stop. Like he yelled at me to stop my god.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What? Lord. He mercy. He's like, where do you live? ? Oh, let me guess from your perspective. He was like, he was lovely. Where do you live? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He was charming. Mm, white man. Perspective colored woman per perspective. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He was lovely. He was very cute. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh. Anyway, so we've gone home. But I was so scared. I was like, oh no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Even though our kids are old enough to be home alone, I, I was freaking out. I did not like being</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. And as </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we came home, we bumped into Steve. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Our neighbor. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And Steve was like, yeah, no problem. Just, you know, I just told him where I was going and he'd let me ride through. Like it was no big </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> deal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. For white. You all have no problems talking to the Popo, so let </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> me drive next time and it'll be fine. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't know we were gonna get in that mess. We kept driving and driving, trying to find a labyrinth of different ways to possibly get to our place and nothing, nothing. Anyway, I digress. Oh, yes, you, why did I start talking about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, I, I merely discussed we lost power and so you went into the diatribe that you went into anyway. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, so, so thank. So thankful. But anyway, still lots of people without power, there's definitely no internet, nothing. So it's nice actually, I, I had a relaxing day yesterday, aside from panicking about not being able to make it home anyway.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ha.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So one of the things I did yesterday was lots of reflection. . Mm-hmm. . And there's some, I al I've always wondered about this with, of course with friendship, but like all, all relationships in general. So I started playing shows in my head that are one of my favorites and one of them is Ted Lasso, I swear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wait, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you have history now with Jason Sudeikis? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. I reached out to him on Instagram when, when his, when he was on Instagram and, and I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty certain. It was really him. Yeah. Um, anyway, , but I just, I love that show so much. It was Ted Lasso and a few other shows that totally saved our lives during the pandemic when we were totally scared.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The world was insane, horrible. Ted Lasso got us through. The characters are so rich and they did such a great job diving in deep and delving into each individual person and their personalities? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the people feel a lot more realized than in a lot of other cases. I mean, typically it's like the main characters are very actualized, but then the side characters aren't given a lot of meat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They're basically just there for the main character to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> play off of. But in this case, that's not true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Correct. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Every character is rich and I just wanna see the show over and over and over again to understand all the clues that I missed before. Right. Because you can't pay attention to everything at the same time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I can't. Anyway, you can. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, no, no. Abs absolutely. You do that. A character like Higgins, who you find out is like, he totally, which one was Higgins? He is the communications manager. Oh, okay. Yeah. And so he has a family. He wants to be a, didn't he like play the bass? Like he totally went down the beatnik route there for a second when he got like laid off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean, he's literally completely just foil kind of character, but there he is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And one of his sons is a priest on the show. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? Yes. Yes. Because they have a nasty habit of cursing or something in front of him, right. . Anyways, but yes, that's just, that's just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> for example. But I, um, I was talking to Wendy about this and she had the same reaction.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I did like the sheer terror of the very last second of the very last episode that we've seen, that we've seen, which was. Nate, the great, oh my goodness, that was scary. Like to see Nate, who's a very lovable character that's abused or has abuse in his past, emotional </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> abuse. So Nate starts the series off by being basically the water boy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and dealing with the abuse that the water boy gets. And they eventually kind of elevate him to an assistant coach and they have him make a, a couple of interesting calls and then he leaves the club and it looks like he becomes the head coach at another club. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, you just gave it away, Matt. Well, some people haven't seen it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know what? Welcome to spoilers. You know, you can't spoil something that's been out over a year. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay, but here's the thing. A long time ago, someone who went to a lot of therapy, and had younger siblings, told me that her therapist said that when someone you help out that you love, who also love you will turn on you, like you have to expect that, that they will turn on you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I never understood, like she had a very bizarre outlook on life, this person. But most of the things she said, it was a person I worked with at a design studio. Most of the stuff she said was like, pretty interesting, you know, like, it, it wasn't totally wrong, , some of the things she said was wrong, wrong, wrong,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But, but, um, this one, I don't know. This one I've always thought about. I'm like, is that true? I don't know. When someone is hurt, you know, we've all heard the term hurt people hurt. Right, right. The people who have hurt in them, who are abused or who are experiencing emotional pain or even physical pain mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> they tend to lash out. Not everybody, not everybody does that, but it's kind of like having a wound and you have to let the puss or whatever is in there come out. Right, right. Matt's pointing to his finger cause oh my God, he hurt his How is that doing? Cuz you keep messing with it again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> totally much better. But no, when, when, um, so it was all swelled up and the doctor like, totally gave like a, I swear to God it's, it was like a quarter inch gash on it and she squeezed out all the pus. I was. Very painful, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but you have anyway, to get that stuff out, you gotta get that stuff </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> out. Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Emotion, emotionally, if it's, I dunno if you should have had as much glee as my doctor had, but Yes. , she had glee. She had glee. She was like, oh, it's like popping a pimple. Ew. Yeah. It was pretty disgusting. Anyways. Oh my God. That's beside the point anyway. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. Non sequiter. So I'm thinking, I'm trying to remember where Nate started to go wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm like, I think remember when he had a taste of letting it go, like expressing his true emotions and being free to say whatever he wanted to say. Remember, it was, I think, in the middle of the whole show where Ted Lassos, Ted lasso Ted. Said, I want you to say all this stuff to, to the whole crew. To the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> team.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, right. He writes down stuff for Ted and then Ted's like, this is perfect. You tell him, he </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> basically roasts every single player and he's not nice. He's just like, you know, you, I don't remember the things. He </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> was accurate. and he was honest. Mm-hmm. . And he, at the same time, he was funny. Yes, I remember that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And him being granted that ability, as you know, as you're about to say, him being granted that ability and granted that freedom to do that might have been the beginning of his dissent into </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> darkness. Right, right. Like letting it out, like everything he's held in. All the abuse he got from his dad, the not being loved or respected by his dad or anyone else around him being ignored for so long.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Finally, it was released and it, it was like it was a slow building kind of explosion of dark things to come out. Mm-hmm. . Anyway, what I'm saying is we all live in a world where we're all interconnected. So how do we handle that? How do we handle that when that's us? Who's doing that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Who's needing to vent or who's needing to vomit all that stuff out? You know, take, get rid of all that stuff from the inside, like, release it and how do we deal with it when we have to deal with other people in our community, with the world is our community that need to expel that stuff. How can we do it in a safe manner?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How can we do it in, um, Gentle manner. I don't know if it'll be gentle. Sometimes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a controlled manner </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is what you're looking for and that you can't control it because it's about emotion. No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that's true. The person who's expressing can't control it. The people around that person need to be understanding and in control, and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's why art is so important in society because that's one way you can do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , you can express yourself through song, through paintings, through sculpture, through, I don't know, any kind of art form. It's one way where you can totally be free in being able to release all that stuff in a safe way. Right, right. Without harming someone else. Typically , yeah, ab, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there's also, God, what was it? I God, I just saw something about this, but I think they called it like a rage cage or something. Hmm. Which is one of these places you go into and you break stuff. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's called a rage cage. Yeah. You, I was watching some cooking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> show. That's right. I was watching some weird cooking contest show Hell's Kitchen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think it might have been because, I was watching it. I'm not a huge fan, but I was watching it and one of the rewards was they let all the chefs go to this place called the Rage Cage and like they were like taking sledgehammers to toilets and things. So it's like the next evolution. Cuz there was this thing I remember hearing about where you got to break pottery and then you, you got stuff to make mosaics with mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So literally it was like break and fix. Mm-hmm. . But like you were breaking dishes and things and this is like next level. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? Hold on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Huh, that's better. I had to move the mic. Okay. So, alright. I guess that's it. Problem solved . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, no, no, no. Um, but that's just it. I think there's a lot to it. First thing, of course, is you have to realize maybe there's, there's a problem and it's, it's deep-seated. I think in dealing with it though, you also have to think of yourself as being like a parent with a, an infant who's in pain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I've always said </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that. I know you stole that from me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You stole that from me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God, Matt. No, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, now I have to be the parent. It's okay. Excuse </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> me. It's okay. Oh hell no. It's Matt. It's okay. Matt. Shut up. . Matt. Hey, you all can go back to the previous episodes from when we began. It was I, I was the one who was saying all this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's my theory. Good Lord. You make me mad. Go on. What were you saying Anyway? Yeah. Anyways, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we, and the, the trick is, is paying attention and you know, honestly in inside of the show, like Ted Lasso, obviously they need drama. They need to create some element of conflict. So it's important to not recognize for the people around him, to not see him evolving, devolving, whatever you want to call </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it, into him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> As in Nate. Nate, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the Great. Yeah. Nate, Nathan. , you know, watching his character arc change in the course of time. They, they, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there's a lot of, there's no show, there's a lot of assuming and, and that, and that's perfect that it's, that's brilliant because yeah, people who are quiet and who take care of everyone else, they go under the radar.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And we don't think to ourselves, oh, this person could be hurting or this person, right? This person's squared away. We don't have to worry. Let's, let's pay attention to this person, right? Mm-hmm. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you know, he got, he got his strokes like, oh my God, you reme. He, the first episode, he's like, oh my God, you remembered my name.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right? And he was so happy because nobody even bothered to remember his name. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ouch. I mean, and this gets scary, but like, when you hear about people who do terrible things and the people around them get interviewed, like people in the neighborhood. . And the common thing is, oh, they were always so quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Were they quiet or did you ignore them? Right. And assume nothing about them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. And did you not try and draw them out or, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> mm-hmm. . Yeah. It's bizarre. I mean, just moving here to this beautiful area. The more you get to know people, the more you understand. Even though everything seems to be copacetic, there's been lots of, drama, drama and like there's been miscommunication and people get upset over trees or whatever it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there's been downright lies and there's been, you know Right. People </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> fight and for years too. Yeah. It's something that happens all the time. And this is part of the key things in friendships and relationships is to acknowledge all this. And you could say, well, I don't have time for that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But what happens when things get so out of control? You have to make time for that. It's like raising children again, because you can say, I don't have time for that, or I don't have the energy for it. But you have to, you have to stop everything and pay attention. Be present, and we have to do that with everybody, and that's one of the benefits and the downfalls of living in a society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The benefit is that we are truly helping each other out. Like the power went out. We were all scared inside and there were things banging around everywhere. And when the power went out, there were explosions we could see of light and live wires on the ground and sparks. And, you know, when we went out with the car, we saw these topple trees over power lines.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We saw one of those big, big. Things that hold the power lines that just fell and was, blocking the whole highway. But like, look at all the people who stepped in and knew what to do. Experts on every level, removing things, handling electricity, knowing exactly what to do so we can be warm and have power in our little homes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's amazing. Now, if I had to do that on my own. , we'd be living with nothing. , I don't know how electricity works. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We, we'd have a solar oven, maybe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> how there was no sun out. And how do we even make a solar oven? I don't know. Mirrors . How do you make a mirror Matt? Do you know what I'm saying? Everybody has a purpose and everybody has their techniques of their knowledge of</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> how to make life beautiful. Right? So those are the benefits. And the other side is, it is our obligation with all these benefits to look out for one another and to pay attention to one another, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? Yes. Yes. And it's, but it's also our obligation to realize when we're in a place where we need help to find it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because there is findable help out there. Huh? But now </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> if you wanna s Well, you know what? We can't leave it out there. Like there's findable help out there. Well, what do you mean by that, Matt? Like, give me some examples for me when you say that. I think. Okay. When I'm scared. or I'm distraught.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I will call up someone I know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And tell them I'm distraught. I'm scared, I don't know what to do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yep. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And they may not know, so I go to another person. Right. But I keep asking for help, you know, like, um, like I and you, you would be surprised that you're actually watched, people are curious. So people are, Like, we moved into this neighborhood and we found out people were watching.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Every time I've been out in the yard not knowing, thinking to myself, I don't know what to do with this. Like, I, I don't understand nature and there's a yard that I'm now taking care of. I don't know. I swear almost every time a friend Kathy comes over and helps me. and I'm so thankful, because I really don't know what I'm doing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Do you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. , or I was looking at the spigot outside. I'm like, oh my God, the deep freeze is coming. I don't know what to do with the spigot. I don't know. And like she came over and she told us what to do. Now we couldn't figure out what to do cause we couldn't figure it out in the house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like we couldn't figure out where the valve was to turn off the water. , but I figured it out. But it was because I had some of the burden lifted off my shoulders because I knew someone cared and she was genuinely trying to help me, even though we didn't find the solution that loving kindness of trying to help me even though we didn't reach the resolve allowed me</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to find it on my own. What I ended up doing was I took one of the mittens that belonged to El and Allegra when they were babies, . I put those mittens like they're waterproof for snow, for playing in the snow. I put those over the water spigot outside the house, so it looks like there's a baby hand sticking out of the side of the house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's two of. Oh, but you know, , I, I fixed it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hopefully, yes, yes. But that's just it, you know, go looking for help, and you should be able to find something. At the lowest, highest level, there's state agencies, certainly, but there's also, it, it depends on how much or how little help you need.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes it's just somebody being kind. Mm. Or sometimes it's you performing a service for someone else. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> here's the thing, if more people do this, the easier it is to just get that help naturally from like going to get a cup of coffee and having someone be kind to you or like, you see magical things, loving things happen all the time and they happen for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're able to see that. But when we don't do that, when we all don't do that as much, then everybody's hurting and everybody's grumpy and everybody's in so much pain that it becomes a very negative society that you feel like the majority of things out there are bad, that people are mean, but really it is quite the opposite because people do care.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think listening to the news, and especially the past few years, the amount that we're exposed to, the amount of things that have been happening the past few years. It's really, and, and then also the war that's going on within the media, this side versus this other side, right. Dividing us even further than we were divided before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think it just makes the whole thing even more un, un untreatable, like, well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they certainly give, they, they, it seems like the media are fond of presenting problems and no solutions, and unfortunately, if they can do that for 24 hours a day, seven days a week and never provide any solutions, it starts to feel like there are no solutions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> whereas the solutions really are talk, see people as people and figure out h how people are hurting and how you can help, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or, you know, you don't even have to go looking for people who are hurting. But just like being present for one another is pretty effortless and once you start doing it, you're like, oh my God, that was amazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like, I barely, it barely takes any effort. Like I always say, you would be surprised what A little smile, a genuine smile. Like the, not the ones where you just stretch your lips and show your teeth. No, a genuine smile. You'd be surprised what that can do. Baby. Step number one, . You know, then the other baby step would be saying hello, and then when you ask them how they're doing, actually standing there and waiting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> To actually hear a response, a real one, how are you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then if they come back with, um, a generic "fine," pushing it a little bit further and maybe asking a question about them or maybe commenting on, something that's beautiful about them that day. Any little thing that will let the person know that you see them, that they matter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? That's all it takes. You don't have to find the cure to cancer . Do you know what I'm saying? Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And and honestly, in the process of doing that, you generally feel better too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Because you realize how easy it is and like how fun it is to connect with someone when you make that connection, even if it's for a split second, you never see the person again,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it is. It is. It is amazing. It's you. It is. You get such a high, you. . It's so true. You get so happy and giddy like yippeee1. It's really interesting as opposed to the other way around, like when someone cuts you off or like you are mean to each other, you end up walking life constantly replaying the person that cut you off or the person that called you this horrible name.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Anyway. I used to have, so I used to live in LA. So did Matt. This is before I met you, Matt. Have I told you this? So I would be, coming home from work or going to work. I was always stuck in traffic. Even on the 4 0 5, the freeway, like it was like a parking lot. So you'd be on the freeway.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're supposed to be like going 60 miles an hour. You're like standing still for a long time. So what I started to do was I got several different bicycle bells that were inside the car , and sometimes I would take one of them, like whatever I felt like having as the sound for that particular moment. And I would take it in my hand and take it outside of the car door, where the window is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , where the, uh, window where you can see the traffic on the side, the side window. What is it called? The side mirror. And I would ring it like I don't have it with me. Is there one here? You know, like a bicycle bell, right? Those old school bicycle bells. And I would ring it and on the freeway because everybody's standing still.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's kind of like people have their windows down, maybe, you know, like. and they hear this bicycle bell on the freeway, like as you're staying . Right. So, and people started looking around and then some, some people started laughing, and then sometimes I had one of those Groucho Marks ones, those honky ones, Hong Kong, you know those big bulbus?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. Black, the black ball that you squeeze, you know? Mm-hmm. with a, anyway, why am I saying this? I totally. Just stuff like that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it, it's a way of making connection, getting stuck in traffic a little more enjoyable. Yeah. And connecting with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> people. And you know what, once I was asked out on a date on the freeway as we were stuck on the 4 0 5</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh dear. He was cute too. Uh, but anyway, you can have connections anywhere, guys. It's fun. It's. It could just be a little glance. That's it. Anyway, I feel like we've said this before, but in different ways. Right. So anything else to add? Look out for the Nates. Sometimes we're all Nates. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes, yeah, sometimes we're dwelling in a place we shouldn't be dwelling and we need somebody to help lift us out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And sometimes there are not. Sometimes, and there's signs everywhere. Like I remember there was this, outdoor mall we would go to in Boulder. There was this guy who did yoga, this older man, he totally looked like a yogi from India, skinny, like tall, very flexy. and before he started his shows like his shows were just like, he would do these maneuvers, like turn himself into a pretzel.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But the way he started his shows cracked me up and I started to take his line and say it all the time when I felt like I was a Nate. So he would start off the show by saying, pay attention to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> nice. Hello. Pay attention to me. Pay attention to me. And people would, with, with graciousness, like, like all excited, like, oh, okay. Like they didn't know what was happening. It was just this one man. Right. just standing there, no props, nothing. Just his body like saying, pay attention to me, nice and and then he would start the show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was brilliant. I'm like, yeah, pay attention to me, . That's it. Thank you for paying attention to us. Love you guys so much. Talk to you in a few days. Be well. Bye. </span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Someone you help out that you love, who also loves you may turn on you. We've all heard the term “hurt people hurt.” The people who have hurt in them, who've experienced some sort of abuse (emotional pain or even physical pain) tend to lash out. Not everybody does that, but it's kind of like having a wound and you have to let the puss or whatever is in there come out. We live in a world where we're all interconnected. So how do we handle that kind of outburst or conflict? How do we handle that when that's us or someone we see who's needing to vent or who's needing to clear all that stuff out? How can we get rid of all that stuff from the inside, release it, and how do we deal with it when we have to deal with other people in our community? The world is our community. What one person experiences, we all experience. How do we release this hurt safe way? In today's episode, we use the character Nate from the TV series Ted Lasso to explore who we pay attention to and how to create a loving way to release hurt and pain.
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
Understanding Nate from Ted Lasso TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Okay. Are we ready? Yeah. No, , come 
[00:00:03] Matt: on. It's early or it's late or it's 
[00:00:06] Fawn: something. Hi everybody. Hello. How are you doing? What are you doing out there? Where are you? Hmm. 
[00:00:14] Matt: We 
[00:00:14] Fawn: had a power outage yesterday. We still kind of do. Now we have no internet, but I'm, 
we're 
[00:00:19] Matt: very thankful for electricity 
[00:00:20] Fawn: today. We are so thankful Matt and I.
[00:00:23] Fawn: Matt and I got caught out there, . 
[00:00:25] Matt: We were being stupid or 
[00:00:27] Fawn: silly. Oh my God. We were so stupid, silly. We went out in a major storm. The 
...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1366621/c1a-8j1v-z347w8n8t2qm-ykjbyc.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:30</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[IRL -  Friends In Real Life]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Jan 2023 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1366620</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/irl-friends-in-real-life</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="color:#800000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#9900ff;">Friends In Real Life.<br /><br />We've spent so long sequestered where the relationships that we had had were primarily virtual. They were over the phone, they were on video chat, but they weren't<br /><br />tactile, they weren't "I'm right in front of you." So things like when I'm texting, I can curate. When I'm Facebook posting again, I can curate. I can choose to write out a paragraph and then delete it and then write something else. Right. So there's a filter there. And in real life, there is still that filter but it's trickier because somebody can see when you're thinking you should say one thing, but you say something <br />else. There are micro gestures that will tell you everything if you are open to it. If you're present enough, you can pick up everything from a split-second movement that happens.<br /><br />We were sequestered even before the pandemic; as a society, we really didn't hang out together that much. Everybody has this magical number in their head that if they have one friend or seven friends or 21 friends, that's enough and they don't want anymore. What kind of friend is it? , is it really a friendship, or is it an acquaintance? People are constantly evolving. And so it's like you need to see their authentic selves in order to connect with that.</span><br /><span style="color:#9900ff;"><br /></span></strong></span></span></span>Listen here: <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Friends IRL (In Real Life) TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Good morning. Do you have your morning juice? Which is coffee? You feel better? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I always feel </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> better after coffee or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> before coffee. Juice in the morning. Whenever I'm recording with you darling. Mm-hmm. . . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh Lord. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. Hi. So, um, Whew. Okay. Before we get into what we're gonna talk about today, help me get over the struggle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't know what to do. I feel like I used to be creative and now I feel like I'm not creative. Right. I feel like everybody else is so much more brilliant a...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Friends In Real Life.We've spent so long sequestered where the relationships that we had had were primarily virtual. They were over the phone, they were on video chat, but they weren'ttactile, they weren't "I'm right in front of you." So things like when I'm texting, I can curate. When I'm Facebook posting again, I can curate. I can choose to write out a paragraph and then delete it and then write something else. Right. So there's a filter there. And in real life, there is still that filter but it's trickier because somebody can see when you're thinking you should say one thing, but you say something else. There are micro gestures that will tell you everything if you are open to it. If you're present enough, you can pick up everything from a split-second movement that happens.We were sequestered even before the pandemic; as a society, we really didn't hang out together that much. Everybody has this magical number in their head that if they have one friend or seven friends or 21 friends, that's enough and they don't want anymore. What kind of friend is it? , is it really a friendship, or is it an acquaintance? People are constantly evolving. And so it's like you need to see their authentic selves in order to connect with that.Listen here: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
Friends IRL (In Real Life) TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] MATT: . 
[00:00:00] MATT: Hello. 
[00:00:06] FAWN: Good morning. Do you have your morning juice? Which is coffee? You feel better? 
[00:00:14] MATT: I always feel 
[00:00:14] FAWN: better after coffee or 
[00:00:16] MATT: before coffee. Juice in the morning. Whenever I'm recording with you darling. Mm-hmm. . . 
[00:00:22] MATT: Oh Lord. 
[00:00:23] FAWN: Welcome back everybody. Hi. So, um, Whew. Okay. Before we get into what we're gonna talk about today, help me get over the struggle.
[00:00:35] FAWN: I don't know what to do. I feel like I used to be creative and now I feel like I'm not creative. Right. I feel like everybody else is so much more brilliant a...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[IRL -  Friends In Real Life]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="color:#800000;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><span style="color:#9900ff;">Friends In Real Life.<br /><br />We've spent so long sequestered where the relationships that we had had were primarily virtual. They were over the phone, they were on video chat, but they weren't<br /><br />tactile, they weren't "I'm right in front of you." So things like when I'm texting, I can curate. When I'm Facebook posting again, I can curate. I can choose to write out a paragraph and then delete it and then write something else. Right. So there's a filter there. And in real life, there is still that filter but it's trickier because somebody can see when you're thinking you should say one thing, but you say something <br />else. There are micro gestures that will tell you everything if you are open to it. If you're present enough, you can pick up everything from a split-second movement that happens.<br /><br />We were sequestered even before the pandemic; as a society, we really didn't hang out together that much. Everybody has this magical number in their head that if they have one friend or seven friends or 21 friends, that's enough and they don't want anymore. What kind of friend is it? , is it really a friendship, or is it an acquaintance? People are constantly evolving. And so it's like you need to see their authentic selves in order to connect with that.</span><br /><span style="color:#9900ff;"><br /></span></strong></span></span></span>Listen here: <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Friends IRL (In Real Life) TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Good morning. Do you have your morning juice? Which is coffee? You feel better? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I always feel </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> better after coffee or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> before coffee. Juice in the morning. Whenever I'm recording with you darling. Mm-hmm. . . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh Lord. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. Hi. So, um, Whew. Okay. Before we get into what we're gonna talk about today, help me get over the struggle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't know what to do. I feel like I used to be creative and now I feel like I'm not creative. Right. I feel like everybody else is so much more brilliant and when we have assignments, everybody else is so much better like that. It's been a very long time now that I haven't created stuff. I haven't, and then when I do, it's so boring and generic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> See, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> feel terrible </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and I completely get that. Back in college, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We had a saying, uh, brain cells must be sacrificed because when you drink, you lose brain cells. But anyways, um, how I come to it now is how many brain cells am I going to spend a brain cell thinking about this problem?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and most of the time I, I do the bare minimum. And you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> so you lose brain cells when you think about something. No, when </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you drink. Oh. So that's why we said brain cells must be sacrificed, but that takes us to brain cells. See? So now I say I haven't spent a, I haven't spent any brain cells on it. I haven't mean, I haven't spent any time really thinking about it because welcome to the world, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You've got 85 things going on at any given moment. So it's about choosing your intention. in choosing where you want to spend your mental energies. Cuz we talked about this, we talked about how you have only so much currency, emotional and otherwise to spend in the course of a day. The same way you have only so much kind of thinking currency or decision making currency.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You can only make so many decisions in a day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Really? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah. Oh yeah. So, and we talked about, we, we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">talked </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> about this not way as parents we're so tired at the end of the day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It can be yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I mean, I'm, I'm like barely making it up the stairs at the end of the day. Well, yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> that's why I'm conking out at like 8:00 PM folks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> My goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> terrible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It's not terrible. It's, it's where you choose to spend your intention, your thought process and your energies. And you know what, all it means to me when you say, I'm not the most creative one, you're not choosing to spend enough, maybe as much energy as these other people are choosing to spend or able to spend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> See, that just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> gives me more stress. I put everything I have into a bunch of things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Exactly, and that's just it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But I, I have to, at this point in my life, I, I. That's what I have to do. What? You want me to ignore our kids? Do you want me to ignore the house and you want me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> to ignore em? There, there, there are plenty of sayings that I can, I can, um, throw out right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> One of 'em is kind of body, so I won't throw that one out. But, um, you know, it's about what you focus on grows and, and focusing your attentions properly. Um, you know, I am one of those people who I get so focused on one or the other. It's, I have a hard time walking and chewing gum at the same. and that's just what it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I mean, I choose to focus my attention on one thing at a time, and sometimes that means I have to context shift like crazy, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> still, I guess I'm screwed then hey, because I can't there. There's a lot of things that I take care of. I take care of you. I take care of the kids. I take care of our health, our food, our everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> There's so many things I'm taking care of. I'm working on children's picture books. I'm working on voiceover career. I'm working on photography. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So career, and maybe you should leverage the creative talent you have in the house already. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What do you mean?. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, I mean, it was spoken word, Christmas song, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah. I spent half a brain cell on that For you. Had we spent, had I spent five and had the girls spent five each and had you spent five, that would've been a lot of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> brain cells. Okay. So what Matt is talking about is we're doing voiceover work. Um, we're learning the craft. Voiceover acting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I am.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And, and, but through me, you guys are experiencing what I'm learning. Mm-hmm. . So we had this competition with, the voiceover network. It was to do a Christmas Carol or a Christmas song, but you can't sing it. You have to do a voiceover. The thing that really got me was I didn't wanna do a video.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> One of the reasons I love this podcast is I can be free knowing that no one's looking at my face, but if you're looking at me and I'm reading a line, I get really messed up. I can't, I hate being in front of the camera, which is why I'm a photographer behind the camera. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yes, but that's just it. Again, working within the theory of constraints or the practice of constraints.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay, fine. Video, that's fine. But what would stop you from say, doing Still knocked, which is Silent Night in German, which is how I originally learned it. Welcome to being a Lutheran.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Matt, I don't know what that is we are thinking of, but like these people </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> say, say, saying Silent Night to song Silent Night in German. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> why not? Because it's not, you don't understand Matt, babe. These people were so creative. It's about they were pushing boundaries. Okay. That's not pushing boundaries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> These people took these songs and they were very funny. Well honestly be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> like, they're amazing. Would be, that would be a terrible thing to do because you know, is voiceover, so that should be probably in English, but still it's. Pushing. It's about, and it's about leveraging your community, your friends, people around you to help you come up with good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Ooh. And another thing is like, yeah, I have no time to mess around with creating a video and doing all these takes like I have things to do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So you're so focused on the video aspect of it. Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> because that's what everyone did. I took my videos and I turned them into audiograms. Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh dear. I'm just saying I feel so inadequate and I don't know what to do. Like I was talking to a friend Kathy yesterday. I was over at her house having a lovely tea, and I swear three different times I broke down in tears and I stopped myself. So it wasn't a full on cry, but it was because I feel like I'm failing all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I feel like I'm failing, you know? I'm not where I wanna be with the career and all that stuff. And just growing up the way I did, knowing what I know now, I would've changed so much because I am now more aware of opportunities and more aware of how you can speak up for yourself and more aware of how you can leverage your life and negotiate and really talk and communicate in order to get things done the way you want.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You know, like I got accepted to the Cooper Union on the spot, which is not what they do with a caveat of if you would just turn this one thing in. And I, I froze, and I, and I didn't, and it's haunted me this whole time, you know, because they asked for drawings. They're like, you know, based on your photography, you are in, you're in kid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Just give us 30 drawings. One a. And I was like, oh my God, I have to do these like Michelangelo type masterpieces. And I froze and I couldn't do it. But do you know what I'm saying? Like I do when you, and, and you know, when Kathy was like, stop being so hard on yourself. Not everything is about money. You know, everyone will say that not, but it is to me, I'm sorry, when you don't have it right, of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And you feel like, you know, It's, it's terrible. Anyway, but it's so nice to have friends remind you of your wins, well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> again, social comparison theory, which we talked about, what was it last week? Yeah. Again, one of my main takeaways is, Okay. It's inevitable. You will compare, compare yourself to everyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Just make sure you compare up and down. You have to again say, wow, I got this thing that no one else got. And, you know, does that make you into a, a snob or a mean person? No. An elitist, no. As long as you're comparing both, both ways. Mm-hmm. , you know, um, Edison love him or hate him, and most people aren't tremendous fans of him constantly compared himself to Da Vinci.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and the things that Da Vinci had invented. This is what the Simpsons taught me anyway, . Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> The, the Simpson Simpsons. The cartoon. Yes. Oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Really? Yes. Constantly. He, he always felt like he was behind da Vinci, cuz Da Vinci invented so many things. Plus he was an artist. Plus he was, I mean, come on, da Vinci invented the helicopter</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> for goodness sake. How mental is that? . Hmm. . But anyways, it's, it's inescapable. And that's what one of the things that social comparison theory teaches us. But we need to, a, keep ourselves humble. B, keep ourselves realistic, and c, always be learning, always be hustling. And, and that's, that's what that is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. You know, ask for help when you need it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, but sometimes you don't know what you should be asking for. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That is true. And that's, and that's, that's why you, that's the trouble, that's why, see, I, that's why I love having friends who check me, who, which is of course a hockey term, which means basically you keep somebody from skating the way they wanna skate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That's why I have friends who correct, who ask questions, who dig into stuff. And you too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So today's subject, I'm just gonna get into it cuz I'm like, I'm not feeling </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> we're never gonna get there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. I'm not feeling any better . I still feel like crap. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I'm sorry babe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> wo to me. Woe is me. So you, you have been talking about this and we've been talking about it too you, you call it IRL</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm like, why are you remember the. You're, you've gotten way better with me, but so Matt's a computer programmer. When he used to come home from work and I asked him how his day was, all I would get was a stream of acronyms, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> three letter acronyms, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> TLAs, like he would just tell me what he did that day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And what he did was like all these coding things, they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> were random letters strung together as far as Fawn was concerned. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I wanted to know how he felt that day, who he saw. . You know how, how was your day? And it was all computer stuff like no words. Just, it was crazy. Anyway, so , I r L in real life, but I guess that's what is everyone talks about, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I r L is not a computer term, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> the com, the computer geek has taken over </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> friends in real life. What do you have to say about. FUD . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, what's so interesting is I spent, or we spent so long sequestered where our relationships that we had had were primarily virtual. They were over the phone, they were on video chat, but they weren't</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> tactile, they weren't "I'm right in front of you." So things like when I'm texting, I can curate. When I'm Facebook posting again, I can curate. I can choose to write out a paragraph and then delete it and then write something else. Right. So there's a filter there. And, and in real life there's, there is still that filter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> There. There is a filter, but it's trickier because somebody can see when you're thinking you should say one thing, but you say something </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> else. There are micro gestures that will tell you everything if you are open to it. If you're present enough, you can pick up everything from a split second.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Exactly. Look, a split second movement. that happens. But I kind of wanna disagree with you because we were sequestered even before the pandemic. And I'm not just talking about us as a family. I think as a society, we really didn't hang out together that much. I mean, that's how we started this whole thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. with, we, we called it be friendly at at one point, but that's the whole friendship movement we started, started way before the pandemic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That is true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And no one would. Not no one, a few people, a fraction, a small fraction of the population was on board with us. Right? Like yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> exactly right. And these are the people who are looking for friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , I think most people bebop through life in the same way that they're not looking for relationships, they're not looking for friends, which is really, really sad. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And we heard so many people say. , you know, when they found out what we were working on, what our project was, they would like in a very adamant way,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> like it was almost, um, mean like I felt attacked by them when they would say it, they would say, I'm not here to make friends. I'm not looking for friends. I don't need any more friends. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And, and that's just it, that phrase right there, I don't need, need is a weird word, any more friends. Everybody has this magical number in their head that if they have one friend or seven friends or 21 friends, that's enough and they don't want anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And that's just it though, that What kind of friend is it? , is it really a friendship or is it an acquaintance? Is it, what is it? Is it someone you just see at the grocery </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> store or is it somebody that you, it's not invite over once a month? Or is it somebody you play poker with or is it you know, somebody who you go over to their house and you watch footy ball?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Who knows? There's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> a lot of assuming going on, like what I noticed there was a lot of assuming going on. People thought, I have plenty of friends, I have no more room. And I always, cause I'm already so busy. Oh my God. So that was part of the problem. , right? The four letter word. Wait, b u s y. Yeah. Four, four letters.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Um, I hate that word. Those were fighting words for me. We did a whole episode in the very, very, very, very beginning that if you say busy to me mm-hmm. , those are fighting words. . Or it's the end. I'm like, okay, got it. So that's a big F you to me when you say, I'm busy, instead of saying, this is what I'm doing, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. I can't make it. This is what I'm doing. Mm-hmm. , or I just don't feel like it, but to say, I'm busy. No, thank you. Bye. I, it's a deal breaker. But anyway, so we're talking about friends in real life and. I kind of changed my mind because we were all about friends in real life. That's what our whole matchmaking service was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Our whole platonic matchmaking service we had that we still have, right? We still have the code for it and everything. We have the code, but it's not hosted. We just put it on ice for a little bit. Um, but our whole, I forgot my train of thought. What was I saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Sorry, I was taking notes. Um, you were talking about, I don't know,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, that's awkward.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Wow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I have no idea. Oh, in the beginning we firmly believed in, bringing together people physically, but, and then you were segueing somewhere else. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh yeah. Okay. Thank you so much honey. Thanks for listening, , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and thank you for listening, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> listeners. Oh my God. So that's, I was of the firm belief that for sure we need in-person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and that's what we were, that's what we were all about, right? That we, we found a way, we had an algorithm and we had a very, very old technique of matchmaking to have people be in person. And that when you have people on social media that are following you, or maybe you're even talking to once in a while.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That that's not real, real friendship. But since the pandemic, because everything had to be online and everything was either through social media or through Zoom, I actually made some fantastic friends. And I wanna say we, Matt made some fantastic friends, like Barry came over a few weeks ago from another state.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But we're close enough, you know. When we met in person in real life, we were both commenting like, that's weird because like I think Barry mentioned immediately, what did he say when he first saw us? Like, something about you are exactly like I, I imagined you to be. And it was a shock, you know? And it was a shock.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> on another level. I was like, why are you even saying that? Because I already felt that we were family. Right. Because we have been talking for so long now. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But circle back, Barry is of course, Mr. Kind. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, he, Barry has been on our show a few times. He's coming back in a couple weeks and he travels and tours the United States to spread kindness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He goes to schools, he volunteers. He's an amazing poet, musician, he spreads kindness to kids and, and he's just an amazing, just a lovely guy. Angel. So talented. Anyways, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> yes. So anyway, we got </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> together in real life with Barry, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Barry owns his inner Popeye. Mm-hmm. . I own my inner Popeye. You own your inner Popeye.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> We are who we are and that's who we are. And, and you know, Merry Christmas and I'm not gonna present to you that I'm a, something that I'm not. Mm-hmm. . So that makes for an easy trans that made for the easy transition. It's cuz none of us were fronting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . Right. There was no editing, like how you said people,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> people present or front people edit what they're gonna say and what they're gonna look like on social media. Right. So it's harder to, it's harder to sense when someone is being authentic and what's really going on. If there's a lot of editing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Photoshopping, editing of what you're gonna say. Uh, editing of exactly what angle you're gonna show of your life, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and I have to imagine like musicians, like when they quote unquote meet their fans, It's like, particularly in this day and age, it seems like, um, like our girls listen to a lot of very emotional female singers, and that's a moment in time that they wrote about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> They don't live there. They're, they've, they've gone through a whole life. And I have to imagine like a fan of a particular song imagines that the singer is still caught in that place because a singer very carefully shows you that . . And if they're not there anymore, even if they have to sing that song every night and try and bring up those feelings and that energy, they don't necessarily live there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And so I think it's, it can be really disheartening for a fan to meet a lot of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> singers. Wow. And I just thought about it. And if you love that song and you're listening to it over and over and over again, you are living there forever. Forever. You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> are living there as a listener, but the performer's not living there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , the performers moved. So it can be a very weird and uncomfortable space to just assume that, you know, that's the way it is. Right. And you know, the best bands, the best singers, the best, everything. They're constantly evolving. The best people are constantly evolving. And so it's like you need to see their authentic selves in order to connect with that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> so you're saying in real life, then you can see the movements, you can see the change in atmosphere. You can change a person's, outlook by interacting with them, right? You can see the peaks and valleys even in within a few minutes. So you're not just looking at a static presented piece of art, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Which is what people. Right out there on, on the internet, on social media and everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And there you go. And, and in point of fact, I am constantly now thinking about, and I had this thought just the other day, which is one of the things that led to this show. And I was talking to my, my, my good buddy. And there's a lot of points we intersect on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> There's a lot of points we don't. And he mentioned just kind of obliquely that, you know, he took his whole office out to dinner to celebrate the holidays. He did. He did. That's nice. And I'm like, . That doesn't even factor for me that he's a guy who's the boss who takes everybody out. So I have to wonder what's gonna happen when, you know, I, if I was to walk into his real life, say at work, cuz men have a nasty habit of com compartmentalizing and maybe it's a good habit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I don't know, but I think it's, I think it'd be tricky. Mm-hmm. , because I think that he's on some level he's again compartmentalized. So he shows me those pieces that I'm comfortable with, but he doesn't show me a lot of the other pieces. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And another thing is there's not enough time, and that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> another </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> interesting issue.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So even if you meet in real life, perhaps you have just enough energy mustard together, you. , is that the word? Muster? Muster? Yes. Not, not mustard. Not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> mustard muster. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Not enough ketchup together to get together. Like you, you, you gather enough energy to present a certain thing. Right? Like I don't have the energy for that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You'll see my peaks and valleys within two minutes probably. Right, right. and if I do keep up a certain front, I'm exhausted. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I'm like, yes. Yes we are. As a matter of fact, yeah. I'm a little daunted by, um, yeah, there's talk about getting together with all my workmates mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and trying to figure out what that's even gonna feel like. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think that's why it's a good idea to have activities. because you're not just there staring at each other and talking. Right. But if you're eating together or you're playing together, yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And that's just it. There's, there's talk, there's talk about, and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> or even going to a show </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> together, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> At a, at a previous job, we would connect on Zoom for happy hour and we play games. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. Or like, I'm just thinking, like, just going to the theater. , you know, experiencing something together and then you have something to talk about together. Yes. Then that it, it takes the pressure off, it kind of massages the situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So there's not a tense moment. Right. It's like you massage everything out. Right. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you smooth it out. And again, it can be helpful if you say, meet people out in the world. Mm-hmm. like, Hey, let's go check out the winter festival. Right. And then theoretically there's, there's a lot to connect about. And again, I also talk about how one of the things that helped us build friendships are shared experiences </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And yeah. That's why people have such amazing bonds. Like if it's a hardcore experience that you just so happen to have experienced together, you're forever bonded by that experience, right? Like, it could be a trauma even. Mm-hmm. . I think , that's a great key. For me. It's hard, like, there are so many people that are so into hiking or , I don't know, horseback riding and all this stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm like, Um, I don't know what I, I don't, you know, I don't know. I seriously don't know what I would wanna do with someone because, again, because I'm constantly, my energies are always going into so many different directions, right? That I don't know what my thing is. Like, no, thanks. Like my idea of hiking is not this other person's idea of hiking</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm short . My legs are tiny. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. Your, your idea of a nice hike would be maybe a little pond walking around, a little pond in, in brilliant sunshine. You know, say, and I wanna sit down one or two o'clock, and then maybe go somewhere </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> afterwards to, and I want something to eat. I'm like, can I just sit and eat?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like, do we have to walk because, Because I'm so short. For me, I'm like doing a light jog for someone's normal walk. Right. And I, it's like hard to keep up with people. Mm-hmm. , I get it and know it's stressful. It's like back in the day when I would go bowling with my friends and they would get so mad at me because I would not be a good bowler.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like they get, they get upset and then it's stressful for everybody. and then I'm angry . Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> that's, that's a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> fun day. Do you know what I'm saying though? I do. That doesn't, it's not a good experience for me. Do, so it's hard to say, well, what activity can we do together? And it's stressful to even come up with an activity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So do you have any suggestions for that? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> it's about maybe sorting out a slacker sport. I, I worked in an la God, it seems like maybe the last time it wasn't, but it's almost the last time I worked in an office. We would go and play disc golf. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> See, do you remember what happened when you took me disc golfing?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I lost your favorite disc golf because it ended up in some tree. Again, stressful for me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> right? It, but it's about really judging and for you and understanding and, and you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> our first date, you guys, our first date Matt took me miniature golfing. Yeah. This is before you knew apparently I was a chewbaca.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yes. I was so angry. . And he was there. He had a little notebook. Keeping, keeping score, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> score, score. You're supposed to keep score. That's the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> point. I don't like it. , . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But again, that's part of learning and, and you. It's a part of connecting and, and, you know, learning how the other person is, you have to clearly communicate and, that's just it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Sometimes you're gonna come up with stuff that works and sometimes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you're not. So I guess my thing is to have people come over and I cook for them, right? So I'm keeping busy and I'm nourishing the people, I'm offering different tastes. So that's my thing. I don't know, maybe I'm not, I'm just not a hiker.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I like to do things by myself when I'm hiking, like, because I go at my own pace. I don't it. It's not a competition. I hate competition. Hiking isn't a competition. It is when you are short Matt . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay, I'm just gonna be quiet </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> now. Anyway, let's wrap this up. So what are some pointers? So we to be in real life, it's best to find a common experience, right, like an activity. Mm-hmm. , but it doesn't have to be hiking. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> it's very important that both sides are patient and both sides pay attention to how it's going and how the other person is feeling and et cetera. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. and in real life is quite extraordinary because I.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> To, again, going back and noticing the tiniest movement or the tiniest change in a person's voice or their expressions or the way they look, the way their eyes, like something can shift in a split second. . It's such a beautiful way to connect. And when you're present enough to notice that, I think that's what opens up a beautiful friendship </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> To form. Because when someone notices that you pay attention like that, when you're heard like that, right, it means the world to everyone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> To everyone. I mean, that's how, that's one of the ways I fell in love with Matt because I'm like, whoa, this guy notices things that most people ignore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He, he pays attention. He's paying attention, he's hearing me. And so that made me open and more receptive to who you were. Like, who are you? Thank you for listening. Thank you for noticing. And then, so that made me more. I wanted to find out more about you because you obviously gave me the great gift of paying attention to me, and it just happened naturally then that I was like, who is this person?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Who is this Matt? And it formed a beautiful friendship, which led to this amazing. Marriage. I'm gonna knock on wood. Hello. Watch us fight right after this nice thing that I just told you. But anyway, so anyway, that's my take on it. You, your take. Uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I'm in complete agreement. However, I wanna segue us over into another zone, which is, just, it's an important thing to pay attention.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And I used to say it was two times and now I don't know, but basical. If you say, if somebody says, Hey, you wanna hang out and do X and you don't wanna do it, absolutely, you should say no, but long, about two or three times, if they ask and you constantly say no, they're gonna stop. That's somebody's attempt to maybe grow the friendship and maybe, take it outside of, let's say maybe the workplace or outside of, you know, wherever it is you've met this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So it can be really uncomfortable and certainly if you always hear no, how are you gonna feel about it? And so you gotta think about that on the other side of the coin. So if you say no to somebody two or three times, then you better suggest something good or you better say yes to something you're not comfortable with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And that can be fun too, to expand your boundaries unless it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> hiking. Matt, I know you probably have something else to add to this, but can I just say something else about the no thing? Thank you for bringing that up. The no thing, that's another dirty word for me, because No. Well, thing is that Well, I, I'm notorious for saying no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like remember when I had to pull out a wisdom to tooth? Yes. And they, they gave me this drug cause I was freaking out. I was scared. And then it made me so mellow. . And then when they called my name to go into surgery, I just said, no . No. And we thought we were funny. It was funny. It was funny. . No, no, . Um, so years ago Oprah started talking about we need to say no, women need to say no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I thought, and there are points in time where </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> they absolutely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> should. Yes, absolutely. I think there are so many people pleasers out there and you have to. Yes, definitely. I just think that it went overboard because all of a sudden I kept hearing women in a rude way say, you know what, I'm, I'm gonna practice saying no to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm like, Thanks for practicing. It was just rude. Like I was in Santa Fe and I went to a photography workshop that you pay big money for. Mm-hmm. and this photo editor was, who was one of the teachers, um, We were waiting for the next, , course to open up, right? Mm-hmm. , she was a speaker.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> She was there to like, we paid to like have, an interaction with right these people. And so I remember we were standing, waiting for the next thing. We were all just standing waiting. Mm-hmm. in line. And I went to her. I'm like, do you mind taking a look at my book, this project that I finished several months ago?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's a book. Do you mind just taking a quick look? She looked at me and she, I swear to you, it was like line by line, the same uh, tone that you would hear on Oprah. And she looked at me and she's like, I'm gonna practice saying no to you. So, no. I'm like, wow. Ew. It was so gross. So I think we've gone overboard with the whole no thing that just don't, don't just say no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's like saying, I'm busy. Please explain . And I'm not saying that you have to explain why you don't wanna do something. Mm-hmm. . But instead of being lazy about it and just saying, I'm busy because it, it's such a blowoff, like you're blowing the person off. Mm-hmm. and it, it's gotten rude. It's gotten to the point of rude, say, I really need to be alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I have no energy to go out, you know, just be honest. Why is it that you're saying no? Just speak honestly and ex like express yourself. There's so many beautiful words out there. Use them. It's like painting. Use all the different colors. Don't just stick with one like standard word. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And if the person wants to be your friend, they're gonna hear that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Try and understand it. Mm-hmm. . Respect it. Respect it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> There you go. That's the word. And it's the people that don't respect that then, you know, okay, I don't wanna hang out with this person ever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> fine. Right? Or this person is projecting certain things onto you, or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> who knows? Oh, people get offended, like rather quickly</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So then, you know, and you know, fast, so you know to stay away, from that person. Right. But, uh, yeah, I just, the word no and. If someone invites you to something and you genuinely think you may like this person, and you do have to say no. Yeah. I think we get used to saying it so much now that you, before you know it, you've said it more than three times.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like, we learned this when we lived in this cute little town, and people were really into having, dinners together. Mm-hmm. like dinner parties, like getting together at a nice table. They really were, everyone was into cooking. It was just a beautiful thing that this community did and they asked us all the time over, and we were from LA and we were used to saying, no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And that's when we realized, right, Matt? That's when you said, we can't do that more than three times. Right. Because they'll stop asking us. Right. They'll </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> give up. Right, because you're getting the slow No, which is right. Just a terrible term. But it's true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. And it's also, it takes a great amount of courage to go to someone and initiate something,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And so when you get turned down, it could be, you could take it personally, it kind of hurts a little bit </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> ing some, a smidge. Yeah. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> if you keep getting that, then the person's like, okay, I'm done. Right. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> this person obviously doesn't want to hang out with me or do things with me. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It takes a certain effort to create an opening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right, right. By asking someone would you like to Right. Fill in the plank. . And so, yeah, after a while just please know that it could close the door. Being aware of that is what we've been practicing ever since those days from that cute little town. Right, Matt? True. So I think that's it for me, for now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank you so much, Matt. Matt just waved like he's good, right? Matt? So you're good? I'm good. There's nothing else you wanna say? Nope. Okay. Thank you again so much for listening. We love you. If you could do us a favor, ask other people to listen. Download our episodes, spread the word about what we're trying to do here, which is create a friendlier world through the Art of Friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We're here for you every week we will always be here. Reach out to us, our friendly world podcast.com and that's it. Talk to you in a few days. Be well, bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Friends In Real Life.We've spent so long sequestered where the relationships that we had had were primarily virtual. They were over the phone, they were on video chat, but they weren'ttactile, they weren't "I'm right in front of you." So things like when I'm texting, I can curate. When I'm Facebook posting again, I can curate. I can choose to write out a paragraph and then delete it and then write something else. Right. So there's a filter there. And in real life, there is still that filter but it's trickier because somebody can see when you're thinking you should say one thing, but you say something else. There are micro gestures that will tell you everything if you are open to it. If you're present enough, you can pick up everything from a split-second movement that happens.We were sequestered even before the pandemic; as a society, we really didn't hang out together that much. Everybody has this magical number in their head that if they have one friend or seven friends or 21 friends, that's enough and they don't want anymore. What kind of friend is it? , is it really a friendship, or is it an acquaintance? People are constantly evolving. And so it's like you need to see their authentic selves in order to connect with that.Listen here: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
Friends IRL (In Real Life) TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] MATT: . 
[00:00:00] MATT: Hello. 
[00:00:06] FAWN: Good morning. Do you have your morning juice? Which is coffee? You feel better? 
[00:00:14] MATT: I always feel 
[00:00:14] FAWN: better after coffee or 
[00:00:16] MATT: before coffee. Juice in the morning. Whenever I'm recording with you darling. Mm-hmm. . . 
[00:00:22] MATT: Oh Lord. 
[00:00:23] FAWN: Welcome back everybody. Hi. So, um, Whew. Okay. Before we get into what we're gonna talk about today, help me get over the struggle.
[00:00:35] FAWN: I don't know what to do. I feel like I used to be creative and now I feel like I'm not creative. Right. I feel like everybody else is so much more brilliant a...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1366620/c1a-8j1v-dm17v08qcjvq-mbnrkt.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:38:32</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Lesson from the Blue Jay on Authentic Communication and Revealing Authenticity]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Dec 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1357656</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/lesson-from-the-blue-jay-on-authentic-communication-and-revealing-authenticity</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Revealing authenticity is one of the major things that keep us from having true friendships and good relationships. This week, we explore the reason for when we expose our feelings, it feels like we create even more problems and we're oftentimes left to be misunderstood. And it just creates more of a situation where you have to talk about it and we don't talk about things. So things are left unsaid. Things are left undone, and if you carry on a friendship, a relationship, over a course of years, it really builds disconnection. The wires of our connections get crossed and become incomprehensible. In this conversation, we include white lies (any kind of lie) and reveal why it is dangerous. <br /><br /> We also turn to nature for signs. The significant sign that was revealed before our podcast was the BLUE JAY! What's the spiritual meaning of Blue Jays? We find that the blue jay is associated with authentic interpersonal and creative self-expression.<br /><br />What's at stake here? We could be erasing parts of ourselves, over time, chipping away at our authenticity and communication skills, at our confidence, and then everything of importance gets destroyed. But if we can remember that person who judges us (creating a barrier for us to be authentic) even if it's our own self-judgment, our own thoughts, our own mind about ourselves, like “who am I to go and pursue this? I looked terrible today. Oh, I'm too fat. I'm too skinny, I'm too old, I'm too young,” all those judgments; we have to be aware of that and know that that's coming from a place of insecurity. But why do we feel the need to keep going like this?<br /><br /> It's because we don't have enough friendships out there. When we have our crew (even if it's just one person) with us that has our back, we are stronger. The world would be so much better if we could express our thoughts and know that someone was backing us up. If we see an injustice happening and it's just us standing up for something, chances are we may not say anything, because we'll be outnumbered and destroyed in some way. But if there's someone else saying it with us, there's great power in numbers.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Blue Jay - Authentic Communication TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hi everyone. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> What was that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> My throat made a weird sound, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Fair enough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It made us sound like the other day I was talking to someone very, very important to me like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> like me,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> li...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Revealing authenticity is one of the major things that keep us from having true friendships and good relationships. This week, we explore the reason for when we expose our feelings, it feels like we create even more problems and we're oftentimes left to be misunderstood. And it just creates more of a situation where you have to talk about it and we don't talk about things. So things are left unsaid. Things are left undone, and if you carry on a friendship, a relationship, over a course of years, it really builds disconnection. The wires of our connections get crossed and become incomprehensible. In this conversation, we include white lies (any kind of lie) and reveal why it is dangerous.  We also turn to nature for signs. The significant sign that was revealed before our podcast was the BLUE JAY! What's the spiritual meaning of Blue Jays? We find that the blue jay is associated with authentic interpersonal and creative self-expression.What's at stake here? We could be erasing parts of ourselves, over time, chipping away at our authenticity and communication skills, at our confidence, and then everything of importance gets destroyed. But if we can remember that person who judges us (creating a barrier for us to be authentic) even if it's our own self-judgment, our own thoughts, our own mind about ourselves, like “who am I to go and pursue this? I looked terrible today. Oh, I'm too fat. I'm too skinny, I'm too old, I'm too young,” all those judgments; we have to be aware of that and know that that's coming from a place of insecurity. But why do we feel the need to keep going like this? It's because we don't have enough friendships out there. When we have our crew (even if it's just one person) with us that has our back, we are stronger. The world would be so much better if we could express our thoughts and know that someone was backing us up. If we see an injustice happening and it's just us standing up for something, chances are we may not say anything, because we'll be outnumbered and destroyed in some way. But if there's someone else saying it with us, there's great power in numbers.
 
Blue Jay - Authentic Communication TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] FAWN: Hi everyone. . 
[00:00:01] MATT: What was that? 
[00:00:03] FAWN: My throat made a weird sound, . 
[00:00:05] MATT: Fair enough.
[00:00:06] FAWN: It made us sound like the other day I was talking to someone very, very important to me like, 
[00:00:13] MATT: like me,
[00:00:14] FAWN: li...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Lesson from the Blue Jay on Authentic Communication and Revealing Authenticity]]>
                </itunes:title>
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                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Revealing authenticity is one of the major things that keep us from having true friendships and good relationships. This week, we explore the reason for when we expose our feelings, it feels like we create even more problems and we're oftentimes left to be misunderstood. And it just creates more of a situation where you have to talk about it and we don't talk about things. So things are left unsaid. Things are left undone, and if you carry on a friendship, a relationship, over a course of years, it really builds disconnection. The wires of our connections get crossed and become incomprehensible. In this conversation, we include white lies (any kind of lie) and reveal why it is dangerous. <br /><br /> We also turn to nature for signs. The significant sign that was revealed before our podcast was the BLUE JAY! What's the spiritual meaning of Blue Jays? We find that the blue jay is associated with authentic interpersonal and creative self-expression.<br /><br />What's at stake here? We could be erasing parts of ourselves, over time, chipping away at our authenticity and communication skills, at our confidence, and then everything of importance gets destroyed. But if we can remember that person who judges us (creating a barrier for us to be authentic) even if it's our own self-judgment, our own thoughts, our own mind about ourselves, like “who am I to go and pursue this? I looked terrible today. Oh, I'm too fat. I'm too skinny, I'm too old, I'm too young,” all those judgments; we have to be aware of that and know that that's coming from a place of insecurity. But why do we feel the need to keep going like this?<br /><br /> It's because we don't have enough friendships out there. When we have our crew (even if it's just one person) with us that has our back, we are stronger. The world would be so much better if we could express our thoughts and know that someone was backing us up. If we see an injustice happening and it's just us standing up for something, chances are we may not say anything, because we'll be outnumbered and destroyed in some way. But if there's someone else saying it with us, there's great power in numbers.</span></strong></span></span></p>
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<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Blue Jay - Authentic Communication TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hi everyone. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> What was that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> My throat made a weird sound, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Fair enough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It made us sound like the other day I was talking to someone very, very important to me like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> like me,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> like you sweetheart. But it was my first meeting with them and it was, it was for like a career making move situation. It was my first meeting and I had my mega</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> professional voiceover mic on while we were on Zoom. So this thing picks up everything and I, I just happened to be sitting in like a lotus position while I was talking. So my stomach was closer and my stomach made the loudest sound. My heat, my stomach, my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> never makes sense. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I was, I didn't know</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What do you do when that happens? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Exactly. What do you do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I mean, it went on for a while. Like it was like, Hey,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I, you know what? Oh my goodness. Yeah. When I was in, uh, offices with other people mm-hmm. and yeah, my stomach started to make strange noises. I would actually just start to cough</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That's like, A long time ago, if I went over to a boyfriend's house, I would turn on the shower when I wanted to pee. But, uh, it's like now that I think about it, I'm like, why would you be taking a shower? Dang. Wait, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> hold on. Hold on, hold on. Or even worse, what if he thought the sound of the shower was you peeing?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh my God. Anyway. Wow. This </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> girl's got a lot going. There's something I've been wanting to talk about for a long time, which is authentic communication, revealing authenticity. I've been wanting to talk about this forever. I. . You know, we always, when we started this podcast, we thought, oh my God, we only have a few things to talk about really.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But it's been three years and we've done an episode or three every single week, and there's still so much to talk about. And I'm looking at this notebook with, I don't know, so many posted notes on it. Right? And those posted. , I mean, thick, thick, thick notebooks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Multiple. And I just gave you a new idea today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And so these, these posted notes are things that we haven't discussed yet, right. We really need to talk about. And one of them was revealing authenticity. And I think this is one of the major things that keep us from having friendships and good relationships is that, and why is it that when we expose our feelings, it feels like we create even more problems because we're left to be misunderstood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And it just creates more of a situation where you have to talk about it and we don't talk about things. So things get unsaid, right? Things are left undone, and if you carry on a friendship, a relationship, over a course of years, it really builds. . And one of the things I wanted to talk to you about today is somebody I've been talking about on and off on our show once in a while, and it's one of my old friends who, it's funny because one person, Wendy, totally saw the friendship that I had with this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> . Why are you friends with them? . Oof. Well, no, she didn't put it like that. She didn't put it like that, but she made me question it like, you're right. I know. I don't know. I don't know because this person has said some messed up stuff to me and why is it that I still so respect and like them?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Why? Anyway, so. I decided once again, like it, it's happened a few times. Like I need, I tell myself I need to take a break. I need to step away from this person. And, and then, then I, another thing I do is I, I take on the full responsibility on myself. Like if she said, oh, your Fawn art photography shit, you know, like, or when you proposed to me, Matt and I told her and she's like, "I just wouldn't take him seriously Fawn" you know, which I know bothers you. , . Um, but she said so many messed up things like that to me. Right. If you seem like you're busy, she's like, okay, bye. And she clicks like she doesn't wait for you to say goodbye as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> , but one of the things that really bothers me about this friendship is from the very beginning, I kept catching her in lies. And you don't, you know, that's a deal breaker for me, Matt. White lies any kind of lie is dangerous in my opinion. And it's stupid stuff. I'm like, why would you even be lying about that, for example, like I keep thinking about all these things that come up when I think about her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like when we were getting married, Matt, when we were getting married and we had our venue, this beautiful place in Malibu, it was amazing. She found out where it was and she was visiting. and then all of a sudden had to go. I'm like, okay. So I walked her to her car. I'm like, like, what's the rush? Where are you going? ? And she lied. Now I knew she lied because the venue had called me to tell me that, to, to say, oh, thanks your friend called. to also look at the venue for her wedding.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And it was her. Now she lied about going there. Why would you do that? Stuff like that. Right. This doesn't make any </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> sense to me. Yep. Exactly. Exactly. Cuz if she had chosen to get married there and she didn't, but had she chosen to get married there, it would've been like, uh, kind of the same place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Uh, when did you look at it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But who cares? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That's ridiculous.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't care. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And there you go. That's the other thing is it is a little ridiculous, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> but like, it's stuff like, a lot. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, okay. And, and honestly I think it funnel star, it feels a lot like the alpha and beta beta friends. She always kind of, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you always say that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah. Saw you as the beta to her alpha. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like, I'm lower. You're the than she is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> She's the leader of the pack, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> which is weird. It's just annoying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So I take on the responsibility like, oh, well, if I get offended, that's on me. . You know what I mean? That's who she chooses to be. That's fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> She's frog and the scorpion. Yeah, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But yeah, I have to remember that she's a scorpion, that she will sting. And I can't be surprised when she's stinging me, because that's her nature, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> All right. And maybe I'm also being too sensitive. Like over the years, these are all the justifications that I've had for my, for our friendship </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">there, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> there has been a good side. I mean, it's, it. . Everybody's had that friend who always tells them about their significant other and they only whine and complain about them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And you're like, oh my God, why are you with them? It's because they don't tell you all the good stuff. Mm-hmm. , there, there is good stuff here </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and I always tell you the good stuff about her. However, over the years, I've had to really take a look at it. Mm-hmm. , and I think that bad stuff is outweighing because all the lies and all the mysterious behavior.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Now she's facing that in her partner and she thinks it's one-sided. And I, I'm of the belief. it, it takes two. Right? Right. Like you attract and Right. Let's say if she even, she wasn't even that kind of person, that lies a lot. Mm-hmm. that if you're with that kind of person for all these years, you will end up having that same behavior because you're around them a lot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So anyway. I'm choosing to step back, we've had some things happen in our little family that requires all of our attention and energy. Right, right. It's heavy, scary stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I, I texted her and I said, going through some really scary, scary stuff. , she just ignored it. And then, she's like, I'm going through so much, but you know, I understand pain is pain. I felt like she was discounting me. So I in text, told her what was going on and it's some life and death stuff, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And all she did was say, I'm so sorry your girls are experiencing pain. And I never heard from her again. I'm like, are you serious? Thanks </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> for the sage advice. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Wow. Wow. Okay. So, I'm, I'm well, but, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you're a feel good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> friend for her. I don't know what I am </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> for her. She calls you to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> make herself feel better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What I've realized is she always calls me to use me. This is how I felt. I've never expressed this out loud to you. I feel like she always calls me to use me as a bouncing board for affirmations. Like she'll say all the things that are wonderful in her life, but they're not really true to what she's trying to manifest.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So momentum. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So she's trying to tell me, things are wonderful. And then as time goes on, I realize no, it's not like she actually is quite the opposite, but she's just using me as like, you know how you talk, you know how the spiritual people are like, they talk to the universe and they do affirmations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , she's, she's using me as her audience for that, I feel like. There have been so many cases where I know for a fact she's been lying to other people, she hides things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> , anyway. I don't wanna, let's don't wanna, let's, let's, I don't wanna, I'm just using this as an example to talk about why is it that we are not authentic, that we don't communicate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Why is it that I have not communicated to her everything that I've noticed about her, because I know it will turn into a fight. I'll be turned down. I will lose the friendship because she won't hear it. She won't hear what I have to say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, has she ever opened the door and said, wow, I've noticed this about myself, or my partner has said this about me, and just let it hang.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And it's something that's obviously bad. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Never </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> See, she hasn't opened that door, so you, it's hard to walk through it now with me and, and some of my friends, like I know the stupid stuff they've done and I know that they've been called on it by their significant other, and you know, I. , I don't further add to it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I don't reign more fire down on them over that one incident. But then when I start to notice them doing the same pattern, I call them out. But he opened the door by telling me first. Mm-hmm. And otherwise you're presuming, or it may be unwelcome and honestly it's a less deep friendship. I describe</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I met so and so, we came really close to having a real conversation, but we didn't, you know, turns out I had a real conversation this week with someone I've only had one or two conversations with before. This would be, I call him Esquire because he happens to be an attorney. And we had a very real conversation where we talked about missteps we had made and foolish things we had done, and wise things we had done as a result of making foolish mistakes,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> but we were both vulnerable to each other. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you were revealing your authenticity. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So I opened the door, or he opened the door. I don't know who did it first, but we both opened the door to allow each other to actually see us as normal human beings. And what's so fascinating is, as we were talking, we were in a public place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Somebody came over and they only wanted to talk about a success that they had had. And we had just been talking in a similar vein about areas where we'd screwed up . And he tried to mention, oh yeah, we were just talking about, you know, times we screwed up and this person refused to hear it and only wanted us to celebrate them on their success.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Which is a very super, I know what you're talking about. Superficial world. Yeah. And you know what? Absolutely good for. . They, they, something happened. Complete kick butt thing for them. Totally </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> cool. You talk about this in business, how people do really well in the stock market. Yep. But you only hear them talking about their wins in this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, and that's just stock market. Who knows if they're, if they do well in the stock market, but you hear about the winning trade, you hear about the time that they bet on a horse you never talk and they won 10 million, you know, whatever it is, but they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> never talk. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> They never talk about the 40 times they screwed up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know, um, I've been going through football picks with a buddy of mine and oh my God, I do, I focus on nothing because I talk about everything and it's like, you know, I meant to pick, but I didn't, so it doesn't count. Or this was my lock. I did, I went two for three on my locks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So, you know, we're, we're very honest and open and forthright. And what's interesting is when I talked to this other gentleman, Mr. Es. I was only going through the things I'd done stupidly. It was really bizarre. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So this is the thing, the authentic communication, the revealing authenticity. I feel like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> there's not enough time. I present to you exactly what I am. Right, and I feel like, I think, I think I need to do that more so like in a case like this friend that I just described to you guys about, perhaps I should constantly say I refuse to be around lies. Even the little ones that you think are little are huge to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You know, maybe I should say that more and more and more. and really reveal that about myself and maybe I should reveal more of my powers and I don't. Do you know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm always very much like, um, I don't know in my culture, like if I make you a meal, I'm deprecating of myself, even though I know the meal is beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. I, I refuse to like, maybe take compliments, so I act inferior and so I shouldn't get mad when people think I'm beneath them, but I feel offended when they do . So maybe that's my problem. Like on, on me. I have to reveal more of my authenticity, which is the good stuff. Do you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I do. I reveal my authenticity in my foibles, like we've said before, right? But I think. , I have to come across as more powerful and more confident. Which leads us to the topic that we're talking about today. So you were like, you know, we're going through the notebook. I'm like, oh my God, there was really so much to talk about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What are we gonna talk about today, ? I sat down at my desk and I'm like, I think we should talk about revealing authenticity, like authentic communication. What do you think? And then you got distracted and you're like, oh my God, there are all these blue Jays outside right outside our door,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> like five.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That was crazy, right? And then one of them started knocking like it was a knock at the door. It was wild. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They were definitely saying something. So, I was at my desk, I started to Google, what does it mean when a bunch of Blue Jays show up ? What's the spiritual meaning of Blue Jays?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I came across this article and let me tell you, it was great. It actually like . I hope to be friends with this person. So the article is from mindbody green.com. It's written by Sarah Regan, she's a spirituality and relationship writer. And she wrote this article called What it Really Means If You Keep Seeing Blue Jays and What to Do about It.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> She interviewed this woman who, is an animal spiritualist Jordana van. Now Matt knows, I'm obsessed with books like I, I want books all the time. Like I always wanna buy books. So do you, I mean you're, but you have a fine collection of like literature. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I'm like, fine right now on I'm, matter of fact, I'm thinking I need to pair down a little bit, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> but like I have been always intrigued by signs in nature, even though I'm terrified of nature, like terrified . When I first met Matt, when we were first married, actually not when we first met, but when we were married, and we moved to this island, in the middle of the night</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you said, let's go for a hike. I'm like, are you insane, man, if we do, we're gonna have to pack lots of heat, like take some guns with us. , because I was scared, like I'd much prefer to go in like a city neighborhood. And take a walk like I would, I, because I, that's more my realm and you're more like nature, like how people would be terrified of going to some unknown neighborhood in a major city in the middle of the night.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I felt more comfortable doing that than taking a walk in the forest in the middle of the night. So, Why am I saying this? Oh, so even though I'm terrified of nature, I've always thought there are signs out there. So I got this book recently on how to read water, how to read the wind, how to read the clouds, and what they're all telling you, like specifically like what's happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And um, but anyway, on the other spectrum, I like to always look at the spiritual meanings of things. Like what does it mean when you see Blue Jays? So as I was reading this, About why Blue Jays show up in your life. And I'm not talking about like, oh, you just see a blue jay. When you see a blue jay, and you have a profound feeling about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like you feel like, whoa, something's happening. Like when there's a bunch of them and then one of them is knocking at your door and you're like, whoa, something is happening, right? Someone's trying to tell me something. And I was, as I was reading this, . And as I was thinking of this friend that I'm talking about, I remembered a long time ago, back in the day when I was single. I went to visit her and I decided to go on her balcony just for a few minutes to close my eyes and, think, and Matt, when I did that, like I I, I was doing a little prayer like in meditation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm not kidding you Matt, it felt like all the blue Jays from the neighborhood showed up screaming. You know how loud Blue Jays are? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh yeah. Very shrill. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And they were all around my head. It was not my imagination because she came out this friend of. She's like, what's happening? And she was, I looked at her, I'm like, do you see this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like, , what is happening? Is this normal? Like, is this on your balcony all the time? She's like, never. I'm like, huh. So anyway, so the blue Jay thing is legit, I think the sign that we should follow today and discuss. So going back to this article </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Here's what they say about the blue Jay. When the blue Jay shows up, the sign is about authentic interpersonal and creative self-expression. When we are not being honest in our communications, because we're afraid if we speak the truth that we wouldn't get what we want or need. that we would lose what's important to us in our lives.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I mean, think about it at work, how many times are, do we have to be au inauthentic throughout the day because we may lose what's vital to us, right? We have to be inauthentic with people around us because God forbid they get triggered, not because it's our fault, but like we have to be careful. I can't be authentic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I feel like I can be right now where we live, but for most of my life I couldn't be authentic because I had to constantly think how it would affect people around me that are not comfortable with my color, right, that are not comfortable with me as a woman that are not comfortable with me as a woman from the Middle East.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Do you know what I mean? Or Absolutely. Whatever religion they think I am. Absolutely. So I can't be my authentic self. Even my voice would change. Like I wouldn't, I would try not to be loud. Would they consider loud, you know what I'm saying? Right. So I had to like mute everything down, turn down the volume in all aspects and not be myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> . So some other meanings, the blue Jay is offering, again, this is from Sarah's article and she interviewed the woman, Jordana Van, who is an animal spiritualist. The other meaning for the blue Jay is acting with confidence. It has another meaning, which is loyalty and partnership.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Did you know that Blue Jay's mate for life, and not only do they mate for life, but they hang out together year-round. Isn't that interesting?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And they have this strong family bond they have loyalty and a sense of protectiveness. And so when you look at Blue Jay's, they seem very harsh and aggressive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They're protective, they're loyal and protective. The other meaning that came up was judgment. the article said, blue Jay's can also represent being judged by yourself or others. They can also mean we're receiving unfair judgment from others. Are we triggering someone else's ego?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> A Blue Jay's message could be telling us. We can never be wrong when we're simply living our truth, even if it bothers or threatens others, I just, um, I don't know. Don't you find that interesting? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I do. Yeah. It is interesting. I think Blue Jays, in particular between Blue Jays and like a cardinal, which is red; these are colors that don't really appear a lot in nature.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I know the sky is blue, but, you know, they can't camouflage, they can't hide inside of a tree and the cardinal most of the year can't do it either. So I kind of understand why they would have to be loyal and protective and, you know, certainly noticeable, but, . I do find it interesting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And going back to what I was saying at the beginning, you're talking to a friend and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> this is something I learned. When I was in my early twenties, I had no qualms about completely being authentic and I think that that's when I started to hear and see the lessons of why it's not okay to be authentic. Right. Like I remember I dressed up and now this is totally cool to do nowadays, but I had an interview to work on a movie set.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> A friend was setting it up for me. Mm-hmm. and I totally dressed up as me Fawn, like I looked ethnic. Okay. Right. And my friend who was setting this up, and it was a movie with Danny Devito. She looked at me and she scolded me and like how her mother scolded her and she said, you are not actually gonna wear that, are you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You're not gonna go in looking like that. Wow. Oh my God. I wasn't going in for an accounting position. And so we, you know what? One of our friends is an accountant and every day her hair is a different color and she's an amazing accountant. It's like, first of all, this is a creative job. , but I mean, anyway, so when things like that happen and you feel like, what's at stake here?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Do I really need to erase parts of myself to make it happen out there in the world? Do you know what I mean? Yes. Lessons like that over time, chip away at your authenticity, at your communication skills, at your confide, everything gets destroyed, right? But if we can remember everything, that person who, who judges you like that, even if it's yourself having if, if you're having thoughts like that within your own mind about yourself, like, who am I to go and pursue this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh, I looked terrible today. Oh, I'm too fat. I'm too skinny, I'm too old, I'm too young. All those judgments. We have to be aware of that and know that that's coming from a place of insecurity. Perhaps that so-called friend that said that to me before I went in for this interview and I ended up not going by the way.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> She was incredibly insecure and maybe she looked at me like, how dare you be yourself? Like, I, I think I was a threat. because she knew my talent. She knew I had a lot to offer for that movie. Mm-hmm. . But you know, she said what she said and she got her way. But why do we feel the need to keep going like this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's because we don't have enough friendships out there. If you have your crew with you that have your back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I always say this, Matt, the world would be so much better if you could express your thoughts and know that someone was backing you up. If you see an injustice happening and it's just you saying something, chances are you may not see it say it right, because you know you'll, you'll be outnumbered and destroyed in some way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> but if there's someone else saying it with you, there's great power in numbers. Correct. Even if it's just one person with you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Very much </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> so. I think it's the lack of friendships that is causing this inauthenticity. And you see it everywhere. You see it with our relationships. You see it in business in food...</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh my God. I just revisited a documentary that was done in 2008 about food, "Food, Inc." </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and we see it in, you're gonna love this. Here's a weird one, plucked from Nowhere. We see it in movies. Yeah. Because what we're seeing nowadays is we're seeing the gee, let's, let's take a look at, um, um, oh God, I forget his name.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> The. Warrior with many faces, the hero with many faces, which was the classic story that Lucas like ripped and turned into Star Wars. But now we're literally seeing the Star Wars franchise coming out with new product every 30 seconds, the Marvel franchise coming out with new product every, every 30 seconds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And to tie it back to why is it so hard to be authentic, it can be really hard to change that. There's a predictable model that says, gee, Black Panther II should make X amount of money. And you know, a new X-Men movie will make y amount of money and a new Star Wars movie will make Z amount of money.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And that's very predictable. Versus if somebody wants to create something brand spankin' new it might make zero or it might make a trillion dollars or somewhere in between and nobody knows. And there's that. It's the unpredictable unpredictability that I think freaks out the accountants, which helps to form this whole uniformity across the spectrum as far as even our entertainment choices.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it comes down to so many things we talk about all the time, Matt. people who are down to clown with us. Yes. You know, like how it's a term you made up. Right. It's, it's yours. Right. I did not make that one up. You, oh man. , every time I think you have, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Mario actually was the first person I heard say it, and I, I thought maybe he made it up, but I don't think so.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Cause I've heard at other places too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, like you have to let your freak flag fly and be confident. And it comes back to confidence, which is another thing that the Blue Jay teaches. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And again, Inner Popeye. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> exactly. Own who you are are, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you. Know who you are, know who. Own who you are. And I've been thinking about higher level Inner Popeye.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> There's a difference between owning who you are and showing the world who you are. And that is next level inner Popeye, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So are we ready to close off with some final thoughts? Oh dear. Or do you have to say something else? I do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> have to say anything else. Okay. So words of advice </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> if you are feeling judged by others or even when you are judging yourself, release your inner critic. Release your inner critic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Disregard the judgment of others. Here's a quote from Jordana Van: " If your mindset isn't speaking to you with patience, affirmation, and love, this is absolutely at the top of the list of things that the blue Jay wants you to work on .If you're being judged by others. Here's another quote from Jordana Van. "If the critics are in the minority and you truly love what you're doing, there's no need to give their judgements any weight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> There are always going to be at least a few critics everywhere we go. The universe has designed you to be who you are, and the world needs you to be that person, not who you think you need to be to please others.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And the final message from the blue jay. And our friends, Sarah Regan and Jordana Van, blue Jays encourage us to be confident and strong. If you feel like you need help in this department, study, people you respect, who have respect, who have the respect of others, and use the tools that they're using.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So in a way, start imitating authentically like ex, you know, imitating it, imitating the behaviors, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. or OR ways. Right. But doing it from who you are, combining it with who you are, that will help you. That's it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Sounds good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Love you guys. Thank you for listening </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> very much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Talk to you in a few days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> well.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[Revealing authenticity is one of the major things that keep us from having true friendships and good relationships. This week, we explore the reason for when we expose our feelings, it feels like we create even more problems and we're oftentimes left to be misunderstood. And it just creates more of a situation where you have to talk about it and we don't talk about things. So things are left unsaid. Things are left undone, and if you carry on a friendship, a relationship, over a course of years, it really builds disconnection. The wires of our connections get crossed and become incomprehensible. In this conversation, we include white lies (any kind of lie) and reveal why it is dangerous.  We also turn to nature for signs. The significant sign that was revealed before our podcast was the BLUE JAY! What's the spiritual meaning of Blue Jays? We find that the blue jay is associated with authentic interpersonal and creative self-expression.What's at stake here? We could be erasing parts of ourselves, over time, chipping away at our authenticity and communication skills, at our confidence, and then everything of importance gets destroyed. But if we can remember that person who judges us (creating a barrier for us to be authentic) even if it's our own self-judgment, our own thoughts, our own mind about ourselves, like “who am I to go and pursue this? I looked terrible today. Oh, I'm too fat. I'm too skinny, I'm too old, I'm too young,” all those judgments; we have to be aware of that and know that that's coming from a place of insecurity. But why do we feel the need to keep going like this? It's because we don't have enough friendships out there. When we have our crew (even if it's just one person) with us that has our back, we are stronger. The world would be so much better if we could express our thoughts and know that someone was backing us up. If we see an injustice happening and it's just us standing up for something, chances are we may not say anything, because we'll be outnumbered and destroyed in some way. But if there's someone else saying it with us, there's great power in numbers.
 
Blue Jay - Authentic Communication TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] FAWN: Hi everyone. . 
[00:00:01] MATT: What was that? 
[00:00:03] FAWN: My throat made a weird sound, . 
[00:00:05] MATT: Fair enough.
[00:00:06] FAWN: It made us sound like the other day I was talking to someone very, very important to me like, 
[00:00:13] MATT: like me,
[00:00:14] FAWN: li...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:42</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Hypergrowth Mode Within Friendships and Relationships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Dec 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1346967</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/hypergrowth-mode-within-friendships-and-relationships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">What is Hypergrowth Mode in Friendship? What happens if someone's not growing and you've grown or you are not growing and the other person has grown; if you have an open mind about it, you can still connect and be together. But that's where you can't be so locked into certain belief systems. So if, let's say you've grown so much and you come back. . I'm like, what happened? And you tell me your experience, then if I'm totally open to also acquiring that growth at that precise moment because of your growth, if I'm totally openhearted about it, I think that that's what keeps a true friendship going.<br /><br /> Have you noticed it's gotten easier or harder as time goes by to actually keep in touch with these people who are on either side of it? In this episode, we discuss what happens when people you know who are going through hypergrowth, or if you're going through hypergrowth, these people who are not, can lead to a breakup; which may lead us back to another topic from last week (we did talk about), which was social comparison theory, where somebody's leaving your peer group.</span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Hypergrowth Mode TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hi everybody. Welcome back. We have no idea what we're gonna talk about. Oh, we don't do we? Aww. What is going on? Hi everybody. Hope you're well. Love you. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in. What's going on Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> What's on your mind? Okay, here we go. So, back in college I noticed a phenomenon, phenomenon,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Anyways, uh, it was the most fascinating thing. There would be a girl, woman just starting college. She left her boyfriend back at home, wherever home was, and like clockwork, you could watch this happen. And I watched this happen six or seven times, actually over the course of my four years at university.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know, they would tell you how in love they were and how they'd been together for however long it was. In some case it was years and then Thanksgiving, they'd have an argument and it would end on a bad note. Christmas, they'd break up like clockwork. Why do you think that is? And it was literally like clockwork.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It wasn't. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, I have found that when you start a fight or you start an argument or you get into an argument, I think it's one's way of ending the relationship when you know it's come to its close, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> but why has it come...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What is Hypergrowth Mode in Friendship? What happens if someone's not growing and you've grown or you are not growing and the other person has grown; if you have an open mind about it, you can still connect and be together. But that's where you can't be so locked into certain belief systems. So if, let's say you've grown so much and you come back. . I'm like, what happened? And you tell me your experience, then if I'm totally open to also acquiring that growth at that precise moment because of your growth, if I'm totally openhearted about it, I think that that's what keeps a true friendship going. Have you noticed it's gotten easier or harder as time goes by to actually keep in touch with these people who are on either side of it? In this episode, we discuss what happens when people you know who are going through hypergrowth, or if you're going through hypergrowth, these people who are not, can lead to a breakup; which may lead us back to another topic from last week (we did talk about), which was social comparison theory, where somebody's leaving your peer group.
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
 
Hypergrowth Mode TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] FAWN: Hi everybody. Welcome back. We have no idea what we're gonna talk about. Oh, we don't do we? Aww. What is going on? Hi everybody. Hope you're well. Love you. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in. What's going on Matt? 
[00:00:15] MATT: What's on your mind? Okay, here we go. So, back in college I noticed a phenomenon, phenomenon,
[00:00:23] MATT: Anyways, uh, it was the most fascinating thing. There would be a girl, woman just starting college. She left her boyfriend back at home, wherever home was, and like clockwork, you could watch this happen. And I watched this happen six or seven times, actually over the course of my four years at university.
[00:00:45] MATT: You know, they would tell you how in love they were and how they'd been together for however long it was. In some case it was years and then Thanksgiving, they'd have an argument and it would end on a bad note. Christmas, they'd break up like clockwork. Why do you think that is? And it was literally like clockwork.
[00:01:09] MATT: It wasn't. 
[00:01:11] FAWN: Well, I have found that when you start a fight or you start an argument or you get into an argument, I think it's one's way of ending the relationship when you know it's come to its close, 
[00:01:24] MATT: but why has it come...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Hypergrowth Mode Within Friendships and Relationships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">What is Hypergrowth Mode in Friendship? What happens if someone's not growing and you've grown or you are not growing and the other person has grown; if you have an open mind about it, you can still connect and be together. But that's where you can't be so locked into certain belief systems. So if, let's say you've grown so much and you come back. . I'm like, what happened? And you tell me your experience, then if I'm totally open to also acquiring that growth at that precise moment because of your growth, if I'm totally openhearted about it, I think that that's what keeps a true friendship going.<br /><br /> Have you noticed it's gotten easier or harder as time goes by to actually keep in touch with these people who are on either side of it? In this episode, we discuss what happens when people you know who are going through hypergrowth, or if you're going through hypergrowth, these people who are not, can lead to a breakup; which may lead us back to another topic from last week (we did talk about), which was social comparison theory, where somebody's leaving your peer group.</span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Hypergrowth Mode TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hi everybody. Welcome back. We have no idea what we're gonna talk about. Oh, we don't do we? Aww. What is going on? Hi everybody. Hope you're well. Love you. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in. What's going on Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> What's on your mind? Okay, here we go. So, back in college I noticed a phenomenon, phenomenon,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Anyways, uh, it was the most fascinating thing. There would be a girl, woman just starting college. She left her boyfriend back at home, wherever home was, and like clockwork, you could watch this happen. And I watched this happen six or seven times, actually over the course of my four years at university.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know, they would tell you how in love they were and how they'd been together for however long it was. In some case it was years and then Thanksgiving, they'd have an argument and it would end on a bad note. Christmas, they'd break up like clockwork. Why do you think that is? And it was literally like clockwork.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It wasn't. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, I have found that when you start a fight or you start an argument or you get into an argument, I think it's one's way of ending the relationship when you know it's come to its close, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> but why has it come </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> to its close? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You can just feel it. I don't know. You've grown, you've grown.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It was literally like clockwork and it was literally a hundred percent of the women poled. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> poled, like you poled them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, like they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> would tell me how they had a boyfriend at home and they were all in love with them and, and I would just watch this transpire. I wouldn't say anything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, you're at </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> university, so you're, your windows are Thanksgiving and Christmas because those are the times that you are kicked out of university and forced to go back home, right back to where you came from.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So those are the windows of opportunity to connect and reconnect. And those are the times where you would have to do your business. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> If that business is breaking up, that's when you do it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But why break up? You're all in love with them. Like literally we would start school September, so September to October.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. Thanksgiving, American Thanksgiving is in, is in, uh, November. All right. So September to November. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Okay. So I was in a relationship mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . And it was not good at all, right? It was very, very, very bad. Mm. As I'm saying this, the sirens are outside Dope . It was bad. And I had a friend who was like, why, Fawn, are you in this thing?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right? I said, because I love him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That's always the reason isn't. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And then there was a movie about Tina Turner, "What's Love Got To Do With It?" And he quoted that movie to me. He's like, Fawn, what does love got to do with it. Love has nothing to do with it. That's why. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. And, and I hear you and I, I absolutely, yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> In the case where love has run its course or there's an abusive relationship, having that opportunity going to university, stepping out of that relationship for X number of months, absolutely. But this was a hundred percent a cases. This wasn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> statistical. I don't understand your question. My, my thing is, my answer is I'm probably misunderstanding you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You can still love each other, but you are walking different paths. Now, it doesn't mean you're in an abusive relationship, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and that is wholly different right there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What I'm saying is love has nothing to do with it. You can still love the person, but if you're walking in different directions, that's what it is and you know that and it happens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> People grow. People grow differently and they, they grow at a different pace, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> different times and Exactly. Ex see, steal my thunder woman. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Did I steal your thunder? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You did. Oh, I used to call it hyper growth. I would say that in this case, the girl was in hyper growth mode. You go to university, you're in a new town.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You are studying new things. You're meeting new people, you're having new experiences. Meanwhile, this person, this boyfriend, you've left at home is not experiencing the same level of growth they may be experiencing growth, yes, but it's not this kind of hyper growth that you encounter when you go to Uni.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And then there's this phenomenon, what is the word? Phenomena or phenomenon? What is the word exactly? I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> think, I think phenomena is kind of the plural of phenomenon is the singular, but I think we have to look, tend to be used interchangeably. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't know. I don't even know how to spell it. So what I'm saying is, what was I saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What am I thinking? What I'm saying is that, what was I thinking?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think that if it's true love, even with true love, you may still have instances where you have to have separation until the timing is correct. Mm-hmm. that particular situation or people,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> but like, If someone's not growing and you've grown or you are not growing and the other person has grown, if you have an open mind about it, you can still connect and be together. But that's where you can't be so locked into certain belief systems. So if, let's say you've grown so much and you come back. . I'm like, what happened?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And you're, you tell me your experience. Mm-hmm. , then if I'm totally open to also acquiring that growth at that precise moment because of your growth. If I'm totally openhearted about it. Mm-hmm. , I think that that's what keeps a true friendship going or relationship. Either way, it's the same thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Relationship, friendship. Right. Romantic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Platonic, this is, this is definitely one of those areas that those tend to blur. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Absolutely. Well, I mean, like, let's say someone, let's say I only bake chocolate chip cookies a certain way, and it's a certain flavor with like, I don't know, maybe it's that, vanilla tasting chocolate chip cookie, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And then my best friend comes back from some other country and says, oh look, this is now how I'm doing the chocolate chip cookie. I'm putting in rosemary and garlic into it. Ooh. You can say, Ooh and separate, or you can say, whoa, let me try that . Right. You know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> what I'm saying? Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and it's a difficult thing to figure out how to communicate this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Um, Really gauging the person's receptivity because in point of fact, the couple of times that I really started thinking about this particular subject, I would ask the girl, um, well, why'd you guys have a fight during Thanksgiving? And invariably she would say something like, it just seems like he's just stuck in doing the things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know, we, it was like we just did the things we used to do, but it didn't feel. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> The same. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And it happens, I think because they've had perspective, they've had time away, they've seen other things. So you have a different point of view. So when you come back to where you were, you're like, I don't like this view anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> This view doesn't suit me anymore. Looking at life at this perspective. Right. And And if the other person doesn't wanna have another point of view mm-hmm. , then there's a problem. Well, but there's no problem if they do or if they're open to it. Who? Okay. What </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> can't get a word in edgewise. Also at </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> 18, 19, you are not, I don't think that the, the women involved in my, uh, unscientific study, uh, had the vocabulary with which to express that kind of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What stuff? Well, like, you know, maybe we should do such and such, or, you know, well, I don't think these are the things I've experienced. Well, yeah, no, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> not your job. You said communicate and it's, no, it's not about communication. I, I just think it's about, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> about communicating and sharing those, those </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, no, it's about feeling open, having an open outlook. It's not about communicating, it's about being open to. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yes, but I honestly think the majority of times the guys probably would've been open to it, but it didn't transpire because it wasn't brought forth by the other party. Well, Yeah, because they go through, you go through so many changes, it's hard to articulate them all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So what? The </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> question is, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> what do 19, you don't have the vocabulary to articulate </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> them all. You know what, it's not about that age. It's about most people don't have the vocabulary to do anything. We just had an argument today about that used certain words. I'm like, might you can't use those words. You know, like it sounded terrible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He's like, well, what do you want me to do? I'm like, well, you should use this other word instead. It would've changed the whole feeling of what you said. You said, why did you sit on my couch, , or something like that. I'm like, instead of my should have been our couch. What do you mean your couch? You know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's our couch. Whatever. So why did you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> sit on our couch? That doesn't sound, and, and, and I don't wanna get back into this though, cause I'm gonna get in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> trouble. I'm just saying one word can change everything. So now I forgot what we were talking about. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It's, it's hard to articulate when you go through a period of hyper growth, it's hard to articulate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah. All the things </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> that you're growing. I wouldn't put it on an age group. I would say as a human being, it's hard to articulate. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yes. But as you grow older and more experienced, it's easier.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I disagree.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> To articulate the changes you go through. Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> my God, Matt, I so disagree. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I said, I said I didn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> say easy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I said easy. I don't know. I've been thinking about this a lot lately in that I feel like as, as we grow older, we have more responsibilities. There's so much that is asking for attention that it's harder to communicate as we get older because there's literally so much to think about that when something comes up, you don't have the capacity to discuss that one thing because as you're experiencing this one thing, 10 other things are happening at the same time and you're exhausted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So I think. Uh, communication at all times is difficult. You could say, oh, well, we don't have the vocabulary for it because this age group doesn't have the vocabulary. You could say, this age group doesn't have the experience, and therefore they don't have the vocabulary because they don't have the experience.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But you can also say, because there's so much experience happening, you don't have the capacity, right? So there's always </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> something going on. You could say that. Having now gone through multiple moves , I am more able to keep in touch and keep connected to people from previous destinations because I've learned good ways of trying to make that stuff happen and trying to keep those relationships together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I have a better vocabulary, I have a better understanding, and I understand a different pace and tempo for the whole thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You've had some repetition. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I've had repetition. You've had practice. I've gained through experience from practice. Yes. And again, welcome to the world of not experienced, haven't been through it, so agree to disagree.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So anyways, but my, my, here's, here's, here's my other thing is, and another thing, I wonder how prevalent it is now because communication is so much more kind of permeating our existence. And so it's easier to stay in much more constant contact with people. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> but because there's so much, it's just as hard. Well, because there are a lot more people to, uh, to remain in contact with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> is true. But if this is your sweet Babu</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> to quote, uh, Sally from Peanuts, I don't know, Matt. I know it's a, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it's a sticky, tricky, honestly, life is an ever flowing mix of everything, so I don't know. I know. Me neither. Who I don't even know anymore. Well, , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> shall we post it as an open question to our, our listeners? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What's the question again? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> First of all, have you ever seen this phenomena that I'm describing?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And secondly, you know, have you noticed it's gotten easier or harder as time goes by to actually keep in touch with these people who are e E either side of it, these people who you know who are going through hyper growth, or these people, or if you're going through hyper growth, these people who are not which, that may lead us back to another topic we did talk about, which was social comparison theory.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Somebody leaving your peer group.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I can barely keep up with myself sometimes, Matt, as what was happening lately? I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't know. All right. What do you think? I don't know. Do you know? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I think I want try those chocolate chip cookies with the, uh, with the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> rosemary and garlic? Yes. No, Rosemary. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh, it's rosemary.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like something totally different. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Okay, let's try it. All right. Good for you. Good for you. Trying new things, . All right. We'll talk to you in a few days, okay? Okay. Bye guys. See you soon.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[What is Hypergrowth Mode in Friendship? What happens if someone's not growing and you've grown or you are not growing and the other person has grown; if you have an open mind about it, you can still connect and be together. But that's where you can't be so locked into certain belief systems. So if, let's say you've grown so much and you come back. . I'm like, what happened? And you tell me your experience, then if I'm totally open to also acquiring that growth at that precise moment because of your growth, if I'm totally openhearted about it, I think that that's what keeps a true friendship going. Have you noticed it's gotten easier or harder as time goes by to actually keep in touch with these people who are on either side of it? In this episode, we discuss what happens when people you know who are going through hypergrowth, or if you're going through hypergrowth, these people who are not, can lead to a breakup; which may lead us back to another topic from last week (we did talk about), which was social comparison theory, where somebody's leaving your peer group.
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
 
Hypergrowth Mode TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] FAWN: Hi everybody. Welcome back. We have no idea what we're gonna talk about. Oh, we don't do we? Aww. What is going on? Hi everybody. Hope you're well. Love you. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in. What's going on Matt? 
[00:00:15] MATT: What's on your mind? Okay, here we go. So, back in college I noticed a phenomenon, phenomenon,
[00:00:23] MATT: Anyways, uh, it was the most fascinating thing. There would be a girl, woman just starting college. She left her boyfriend back at home, wherever home was, and like clockwork, you could watch this happen. And I watched this happen six or seven times, actually over the course of my four years at university.
[00:00:45] MATT: You know, they would tell you how in love they were and how they'd been together for however long it was. In some case it was years and then Thanksgiving, they'd have an argument and it would end on a bad note. Christmas, they'd break up like clockwork. Why do you think that is? And it was literally like clockwork.
[00:01:09] MATT: It wasn't. 
[00:01:11] FAWN: Well, I have found that when you start a fight or you start an argument or you get into an argument, I think it's one's way of ending the relationship when you know it's come to its close, 
[00:01:24] MATT: but why has it come...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:14:38</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Social Comparison Theory]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Dec 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1346966</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/social-comparison-theory</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     Matt explores the findings of Leon Festinger who was trying to figure out how people like to arrange themselves into groups, peer groups, social groups, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so he started really trying to get an understanding of what that means.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     It's hard to measure yourself against other people in your peer group because peer groups are now infinitely huge and you make certain assumptions about who is and isn't in your peer group. People used to watch the Kardashians. How in the world can we relate to these people even though we live vastly different lives? What are the consequences of comparing ourselves to others?</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     George Bush buys socks from Walmart and that look at how he's one of us makes him relatable. It was such an opportunistic, and it depends on which side of the political spectrum you live on, and how you react to that. But that was publicity. It was great publicity. Exactly. But that makes him relatable. And so what we're seeing in this day and age of the influencer, et cetera, et cetera, these people want to be relatable to the maximum number of people possible. And so they can afford and can curate the experience of seeing them, of, quote-unquote being with them in a very relatable way. And so you start to, we can't help it. It's kind of like we're wired to compare ourselves to these people and you can't compare yourselves to them. But we do, but we can't help it. And so this is why sometimes we get excited when we view one of these like pop celebrities as being bad. But that makes us quote-unquote "feel better about ourselves" because we can't help but compare ourselves to others in our peer groups. And also, and this is a really messed up part, is, once we've decided who's in our peer group, we will literally go out of our way to keep them in our peer group to keep them down.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Social Comparison Theory</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. Hello. Hello. How are you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hello everyone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What are you up to? Hello Martin. Hello, Wendy. Hello, everyone. Everybody, everybody. Everybody around the world. Hello, France. Hello around the world. Matt, you've been looking into something. I have</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. It's the darnest thing. You go shooting down a rabbit hole, somebody puts three words together and all of a sudden, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> bam. How did it happen? How did you come across this thing?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[     Matt explores the findings of Leon Festinger who was trying to figure out how people like to arrange themselves into groups, peer groups, social groups, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so he started really trying to get an understanding of what that means.
     It's hard to measure yourself against other people in your peer group because peer groups are now infinitely huge and you make certain assumptions about who is and isn't in your peer group. People used to watch the Kardashians. How in the world can we relate to these people even though we live vastly different lives? What are the consequences of comparing ourselves to others?
     George Bush buys socks from Walmart and that look at how he's one of us makes him relatable. It was such an opportunistic, and it depends on which side of the political spectrum you live on, and how you react to that. But that was publicity. It was great publicity. Exactly. But that makes him relatable. And so what we're seeing in this day and age of the influencer, et cetera, et cetera, these people want to be relatable to the maximum number of people possible. And so they can afford and can curate the experience of seeing them, of, quote-unquote being with them in a very relatable way. And so you start to, we can't help it. It's kind of like we're wired to compare ourselves to these people and you can't compare yourselves to them. But we do, but we can't help it. And so this is why sometimes we get excited when we view one of these like pop celebrities as being bad. But that makes us quote-unquote "feel better about ourselves" because we can't help but compare ourselves to others in our peer groups. And also, and this is a really messed up part, is, once we've decided who's in our peer group, we will literally go out of our way to keep them in our peer group to keep them down.
 
The Social Comparison Theory
[00:00:00] FAWN: Welcome back everybody. Hello. Hello. How are you?
[00:00:04] MATT: Hello everyone. 
[00:00:05] FAWN: What are you up to? Hello Martin. Hello, Wendy. Hello, everyone. Everybody, everybody. Everybody around the world. Hello, France. Hello around the world. Matt, you've been looking into something. I have
[00:00:23] MATT: Right. It's the darnest thing. You go shooting down a rabbit hole, somebody puts three words together and all of a sudden, 
[00:00:28] FAWN: bam. How did it happen? How did you come across this thing?
[00:00:31] FAWN: I 
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                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Social Comparison Theory]]>
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                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     Matt explores the findings of Leon Festinger who was trying to figure out how people like to arrange themselves into groups, peer groups, social groups, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so he started really trying to get an understanding of what that means.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     It's hard to measure yourself against other people in your peer group because peer groups are now infinitely huge and you make certain assumptions about who is and isn't in your peer group. People used to watch the Kardashians. How in the world can we relate to these people even though we live vastly different lives? What are the consequences of comparing ourselves to others?</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>     George Bush buys socks from Walmart and that look at how he's one of us makes him relatable. It was such an opportunistic, and it depends on which side of the political spectrum you live on, and how you react to that. But that was publicity. It was great publicity. Exactly. But that makes him relatable. And so what we're seeing in this day and age of the influencer, et cetera, et cetera, these people want to be relatable to the maximum number of people possible. And so they can afford and can curate the experience of seeing them, of, quote-unquote being with them in a very relatable way. And so you start to, we can't help it. It's kind of like we're wired to compare ourselves to these people and you can't compare yourselves to them. But we do, but we can't help it. And so this is why sometimes we get excited when we view one of these like pop celebrities as being bad. But that makes us quote-unquote "feel better about ourselves" because we can't help but compare ourselves to others in our peer groups. And also, and this is a really messed up part, is, once we've decided who's in our peer group, we will literally go out of our way to keep them in our peer group to keep them down.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Social Comparison Theory</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. Hello. Hello. How are you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hello everyone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What are you up to? Hello Martin. Hello, Wendy. Hello, everyone. Everybody, everybody. Everybody around the world. Hello, France. Hello around the world. Matt, you've been looking into something. I have</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. It's the darnest thing. You go shooting down a rabbit hole, somebody puts three words together and all of a sudden, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> bam. How did it happen? How did you come across this thing?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> don't even, I don't even know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you guys. Matt has been talking about this social, what, how do you call it again?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Social comparison. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Social comparison theory,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> social comparison theory for weeks now, and he's been wanting to talk to you all about it. And so finally here we are . What's going on? What is it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> gotta love. Psychiatrists, psychologists, sociologists, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Particularly back in the fifties, it's almost like they had nothing better to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And so they took all these poor people and they did all sorts of terrible, amazing poor people experiments. Stanford Prince Prison experience. That experiment. Ooh, scary. But I don't wanna talk about that one. That's just wrong. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What do you mean by poor people? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Um, like, well, they would, financially poor people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> No, not financially poor, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> like they took advantage of people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You walk into a, an experiment and you have no idea what they're gonna do to you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Why did people agree to do all this stuff? Like we hear about this all the time. They got paid. They got paid well, I'm sure the white people got paid. I'm sure other less fortunate people had no idea what was happening to them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like you always hear about crazy experiments done on people. That is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> true, and this is crazy from a psychological perspective, it's not crazy as far as like running electro shocks or any of the rest of that through them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Okay, so what is it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay, so back in the fifties, crazy God, there's this guy, Festinger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I think he was somewhere in the middle of the Midwest, but he was trying to figure out how people like to arrange themselves into groups, peer groups, social groups, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so he started really trying to get an understanding of what that means and. You know, it's something we do now, but I think we do it now on a global scale.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> There is no kind of regional or citywide; it's hard to measure yourself against other people in your peer group because peer groups are now infinitely huge and you make certain assumptions about who is and isn't in your peer group. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, do people, do we even have peer groups anymore? Because it feels like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We don't really have that community anymore. So it's more like you're seeing people on TV and you're seeing people that are famous out there. And we try to relate to all these people that are unrelatable. You know, like people used to watch the Kardashians. Right. You know, and what, how, how in the world can you relate to these people and they're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> unrelatable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, and that's the weird part is, they try as hard as they can to be relatable. It was like when Bush was running for president, I was just, you know, just a little, little boy at this point. But when he was running for president, they made a big deal about the owner of the Houston Astros. Texans, I don't know, baseball team.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> God help me gonna get crucified for that. Anyways, they made a huge deal about him going to Walmart to buy socks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> remember that like, oh, look at how he's just like one of us. Cuz he buys his socks from Walmart, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> He took those socks and threw 'em away 30 seconds after he left that, I mean, I mean, come on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know, he probably had custom hand knitted socks from Virgin wool from blah blah blah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and it was like, it was all over the news. Like, Ooh, George Bush buys socks from Walmart and that look at how he's one of us </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> makes him relatable. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> but it was such an opportunistic, like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> it depends on which side of political spectrum you live on, how you react to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But that was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> publicity, that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> was pure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It was great publicity. Exactly. But that makes him relatable. And so what we're seeing in this day and age of the influencer, et cetera, et cetera, these people want to be relatable to the maximum number of people possible. And so they can afford and can curate the experience of seeing them, of, quote unquote being with them in a very relatable way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And so you start to, we can't help it. It's kind of like we're wired to compare ourselves to these people and you can't compare yourselves to them. But we do, but we can't help it. But, but, but, but, and so this is why sometimes we get excited when, we view one of these like pop celebrities as being bad.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Like what, um, Elon Musk is currently going through over Twitter. He's getting raked over the coals. And from a subjective point of view, it's, it's a little daunting and uncomfortable. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh my God. I so wanna say something right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> now. But that makes us quote unquote "feel better about ourselves" because we can't help but compare ourselves to others in our peer groups.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And this is one of the things he determined. And also, and this is a really messed up part, is, once we've decided who's in our peer group, we will literally go out of our way to keep them in our peer group to keep them down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What do you mean by </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> that? Well, Again, welcome to the world of experimentation. So he formed these, he figured out how to pair people. He figured out how to build these peer groups and he would have people inside of them that generally share the same opinions, similar abilities, cuz this is also how we differentiate ourselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And he would manipulate the environment in such a way that you would make the decision as to whether or not to keep down somebody in your peer group. Most people voted to keep, most people took steps to keep them down. How messed up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> is that? Wait, I, you always lose me here? Mm-hmm. and I don't know why.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Can you re-explain that again? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. And this was one of the more kind of uncomfortable, like factoids. He kind of, he dug out of this, so he, he created these groups. And these groups were generally, concerned with people of similar socioeconomical, similar socioeconomic, um, folks, similar opinions, similar abilities even.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And he constructed an experiment where one person in the group could perhaps be seen as being no longer belonging or moving out, out and up upwardly mobile out of this social group. But you and or you and someone else could choose to block that. And I don't remember exactly what the crux of the matter was, what the particular experiment, how you were able to do this, but they found out that in like 70% of cases, they would actually block the person from leaving their social group and keeping them </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Is this like the crab theory, like how they talk about a bunch of crabs in a bucket? When one crab figures out how to leave the bucket, they pull him down all the crap.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Have you heard of this? I have. Is it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> like that? I think so. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> just, and why is that? Is that because people feel threatened that their group will disappear if one person leaves? Well, I, then everybody else can leave. It's, and he'll be the only one that's not successful?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I think it's like what we go through every time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know, it's it, it feels like every time we decide to move, people take a offense to the fact that we would dare leave our current location. , which is typically where these people are. Like, why would you ever want to leave dot, dot, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> dot. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. A lot of people stopped being friends with us once they realized the miles involved in our move.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right? They like said, oh, okay, well I guess that's it for our friendship. They literally said that, right? I'm like, really? It's a small world. Seriously. Like you wouldn't wanna have a friend over here that you can visit or like have a connection with? They literally ended the friendship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. And it's, it's so bizarre in this day and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> age where, you know, we're so global, we're so global, communications are so global, and we're able to video chat, phone; we can literally text anybody any second of the day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But even video chat, we figured out how to overcome most of the barriers There. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Is. Like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> what you say, we offend or people get offended because they feel like you're insulting their way </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> of life, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But that's us moving out of a peer group. That's how they perceive it. And in point of fact, that's kind of how we're wired to perceive it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Because we're used to having a peer group. We can physically be present with our Elks Lodge, our boy scout t troop, our high school class, our, you know, fill in whatever blanks you want there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So what do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you think the deal is? Why, why do people try to block you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Great, great question. If you ask anybody, and I mean anybody, how do you compare yourself in gen?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And you say in general, which isn't a fair statement because people always kind of think about their peer groups, they don't think about the world. But if you ask everybody, you know, how good of a driver are you or how good looking are, do you think you are? Or, or, or, the most common answer is, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Above </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> average.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Exactly</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> . It's like that documentary we saw 20 something years ago. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. It's "People Like Us". </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It circles around that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> exact same drain. Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So we saw this documentary that was done by these guys. I think they were from New Jersey or something, or maybe it was Brooklyn East Coasty thing. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They, these two men did this documentary. and then recently, somewhat recently, there was a movie called the same title. It's not that this was, this was a documentary that was done. We saw it on PBS or something, didn't we? Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And then we had to track it down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, we had to track it. We bought it. We'd like tracked down the creators of it because we were so impressed by their work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We bought a DVD back then. Um, but it was called People Like Us and it was about the social class system in the United Sates. It was mind blowing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> They went to Appalachia, they went to Jack and Jill Club. They went to, they covered upper </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> class, they went, they covered things that I, I wasn't even aware of that existed in our culture.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. It was fascinating. But what everyone had in common was, well, not everyone, but those truly affluent people. What everyone else had in common was they always thought they were of a higher class than they actually were. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and they, they always felt they were above average inside of that class.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like above average beauty of above average intelligence above average. Uh, financially </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> until, until you got to like the really wealthy, and they would always say they were middle class. Isn't that interesting? Or upper middle? That's as high as people would generally go. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> like remember, they were showing this one kid who lived out of a trailer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Was it, was he from the Appalachian? Appalachia </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Mountains. I don't think that was the Appalachia piece. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Um, he was basically living in total poverty, no running water, no electricity. He lived in a decrepit, like broken down, um, what do you call those things? It was a trailer. A trailer, and he barely had teeth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He was a young guy and he said he was middle class, right. anyway, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> but that's just it. We perceive ourselves to be a little bit better than the average person in our peer group. And so when somebody leaves our peer group or starts to assert that they're quote unquote "better than us", and where it gets fascinating is he took a look at two facets of peer groups, which is people's opinions and people's abilities.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And unfortunately for, for you, If you know, you're, you're grouped together by abilities and it's, it's all about how fast you can run a mile. That's an objective measure. You can absolutely say who's faster than you and who's not. So that's, there's a comfort there. But we do something similar with opinions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So typically people want to, hang out and associate with people whose opinions are similar to theirs. Welcome to, welcome to the World, welcome to certainly the United States in 2022, 2023. and so when people are moving out of that peer group, you know, their opinions are shifting and that makes people uncomfortable and they wanna drag people back to where they are because that gives them comfort.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Because you know this, this is yet someone else who agrees with my opinion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm. Yeah, and it's a protect protection thing, like looking for people of the similar opinion as yours. If you're looking for that right now, I would say I'll speak for myself. If I do seek that out, it's because I'm looking for comfort in numbers, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Because I don't, I'm, you know, I'm tired of running into, um, racist, antisemitic people out there, and I know if I, if I meet someone of a certain political belief, if I meet someone who has a certain political belief that is similar to mine, that it's safer for me because I know chances are they're not a Nazi, they're not a neo-Nazi, that they're not whatever, go down the list of things that I think is dangerous towards me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. So, yeah. I mean, I, I want to therefore be around people with similar opinions </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and Right. And yet you even, you'll, you'll have issues with people who are kind of soundly. I, I suppose, in the middle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think we've gotten to a place where if you are in the middle, for me, it's a deal breaker. I can't handle it in the middle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, in the middle is a deal breaker for me because like yeah, in the middle. Well, so you can't decide if this Nazi is good or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> not. Well, maybe you've decided they're not good and you're not voting for them, but you're still a moderate. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But for me, that's a life and death issue. Right. So if you're in the middle about that, you're gonna be in the middle about possibly saving or destroying my life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> just, I'm just talking about a moderate now I'm not talking about someone who's like tilting one way or the other. I'm just talking about somebody who, I don't know, maybe they have a, a jumble of kind of left wing and right wing kind of thoughts and beliefs. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think I understand what you're saying, but what I'm saying is if I feel so threatened, That if this person isn't on board with me a hundred percent, then I don't want that person in my circle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And there you go. And that's how we tend to arrange ourselves in social groups. Right, right. Yeah. That's And, and in point of fact, and there you go. That's another thing he found in like 1954, he's doing this stuff and, you know, we haven't evolved really from here at all, but he figured out, I mean, here here's the word, divergent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> If you're too divergent, he discovered, that's it. You're out, you're out of the group. Or people in that group won't even want to talk to you, which is exactly what you're describing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hmm. It happens in business too. At the office. I was divergent. Mm-hmm. and asked to leave. It seemed like a lot . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And there you go. And, and there are ways of being convergent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What's that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, like I remember one of the things that. Made people think very well of me is when I joined the football pool at work, particularly because I didn't do as well as maybe I should have, I was below average in it, which made everybody feel good, who was part of that social group, except for me, of course, cuz I sucked.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But hey,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> do you see a, do you personally think that there's a way out of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> this? This is how we're wired and we just need to understand that this is, this is where we are. But where, where the problem that I was coming to it from is where we kind of started, which is where we have this nasty habit of, let's say, finding an influencer because they make funny videos or they say things that I agree with and comparing ourselves to this person who's living this carefully curated perfect Facebook life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know what that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> reminds me? Can I interrupt or do you Yeah, feel free. Okay. So this reminds me of the person that you turned me onto years ago. Guy Kawasaki. Ah, guy. Guy Kawasaki. And this one book that you shared with me way back then, one of his books was, um, the Art of the Start. Yep. Is that what what it was?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . And it was when the minis were coming in, remember those minis, the cars, they, they redid the mini. Like the old school minis and then everyone started driving the minis and he was saying, take a good look at who's driving these minis, because it seemed like such a young car. A young hip car that you know, like the kids would buy it, but he's like, take a look at who's driving the minis, guaranted</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> in almost all the cases, the driver will be a white-haired person, meaning an old person. And he was right as soon as I read that and I looked, every owner of a mini that I saw had white, gray hair, right? And what he was saying was that, advertisers sell down. They sell youth, right? So, They want something to sell to the older crowd,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> they make it seem like it's being sold to the kids. So and so. It's true. And, and what you were pointing out was, well, the kids can't afford that car.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. Absolutely not.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, back then, the kids, kids couldn't afford it. Right? Right. And so it kind of makes me think of that in that these influencers that we see that seem like they're so like us, if you look, they're living in huge, beautiful mansions, like really expensive houses.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right? But you gotta pay attention and you have to be consciously, objectively meaning, uh, logically thinking it through versus emotionally. And they're tugging at your emotions all the time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. But once you look at it, you can't ever unlook, you can't ever turn back from it. It. Years ago when we really took a look at the shows we were watching on TV or movies, you know, like, uh, remember the show Friends?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Nobody could afford that kind of apartment in New York City. And then as soon as one person mentioned it, everybody's like, Oh my God. That's right. No how in the world and yeah, in the show they said whatever was handed down because of her grandmother, but their lifestyle. But you look at all their movies, when you look at movies in general, they're always living in this beautiful, huge place, even when they're dirt poor and just, you know, it makes you relate, but at the same time, you're striving to be this and it's, it's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It kind of leaves you feeling sad and stuck that you're never going to achieve it. It's like you're never going, ugh. It's like, do you mentioned this to me, Matt years ago, that the dream that it's impossible. Okay, I'm gonna say it wrong, Matt, you have to help me out, but like it's impossible to actually live the dream.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like how they say, oh, you know, um, you, you can, you can build anything you want in America. You can do anything you want. You can achieve any kind of status you want. But truly is that the case? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, let's, let's be super careful there. Okay. No, but do you remember the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> conversation? I, I, could you replay it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Cause I don't remember the exact words. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I said the American dream, by and large is unattainable. That's what I said. Yeah. However, This is the fun part, and this is why people still pursue it. It's not, completely impossible. It's not 0.0% impossible. It's very, very difficult to land it. And the pictures that were fed, which were things, you know, say postwar, boom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Post World War ii. Post World War ii, boom. Yes. The postwar boom. Cause we're at war times and all the rest of it. Yeah. Um, this would've been 1940s, late 1940s, 1950s, early 1960s. You know, you could get a job in a factory and you could afford a multiple bedroom suburban </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> house. You could afford a washing machine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You could afford a car. Everybody was into, it was around the world. I remember Canada, we watched this other documentary on food and how Canada was pretty much the same way. Like everybody during the World War II era, were rationing everything, food. Mm-hmm. like mm-hmm. like you, you could only eat certain things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You could only wear certain things. Everything was rationed. Right. And then all of a sudden that fear was lifted and people were more liberated and then they started celebrating. They could eat whatever they want. They started eating lots of meat, which they couldn't before. They had more luxuries. Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And so more of, more and more of that kept happening. And then from my perspective, I feel like it's when you are starving if you are hungry, if you are left to not have something for a long time or for a time that is very influential on your spirit, you can't ever really get over that. So I think that explains the 1980s and nineties.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> The, the excess. The excess right. The access to the access. You know, they, it wasn't enough. Big is never big enough. Nope. Big enough is never big. Right. It was you. You couldn't get enough. It's like when you watch an animal that's been starving and it gets food and it keeps eating and eating and eating and it'll eat itself to death sometimes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yes. And I feel like that's what our society, especially in their, in the United States, kind of, that's what happened. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. And that's. Kind of the conversation we were having at that point was, you know, the, the classic American dream story is not impossible, but it's pretty flippin' difficult and I think it's kind of stayed there to this point because what you, yeah, what you have is you have, you know, the 0.0001% is just getting richer and richer and richer and you know, if I'm working</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and my spouse is working full time, you know, maybe we're not making ends meet, maybe we're just barely making ends meet. Things start to get super tricky there. And so that's really, that's really the danger. And that's kind of my central point from where I started on this thing is as soon as we start comparing ourselves to a, to a Kardashian or to a, uh, one of these influencers who doesn't have to work for a living because they've already, you know, they have sponsors and they have, I mean, work for a living.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> A misnomer cuz they're working pretty gosh darn hard to get their influencers and get their free product and get their, you know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. You know, maybe they got lucky, maybe not. Who knows? And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> maybe, maybe they had, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> connections. Maybe they had connections. Maybe they had family money</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> they're not talking about. Maybe, maybe, maybe, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> maybe they had to have something to achieve the level of success that they have. And there you go. You feel like, You too can do this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and you can't. Well, are you now speaking as somebody's trying to keep them down or trying to keep yourself down or self-limiting or a million other things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And that also feeds into this whole social mm-hmm. comparison theory, which is tricky. Yeah. Because I feel separate then because you want to be above average and maybe, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> well, I too would like to get out of the slump financially that I'm in. Right. You know, I would like to succeed in my career, which I've been struggling at, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> For my entire life, it feels like, you know, and I see these guys doing it and they're like, and then, you know, then they sell packages. Like, you too can do it. Just follow me or go to my workshops and pay this amount and, and I will show you how. And they can't. They don't because they don't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's like recipes. Recipes that are given to you by, I don't know, very influential bakers or chefs out there. They'll never give you the exact recipe, so you can never achieve exactly what they're doing. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and, and here's the fun part, if we take this baking analogy one more step further, cuz there's a zen saying that you can't step in the same river at the same spot ever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> because the water's always flowing. But taking the recipe example, you don't have their oven, you don't have their altitude, you don't have this precise, Brand of flour. You don't have these fresh fruits that were grown in this area. You don't, and it's the same way I think, with a lot of people who would tell you, well, you can replicate my success.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, the world changes every single day. Mm-hmm. and just because something worked three months ago, or six months ago or a year ago, doesn't mean it's gonna work today. And it just doesn't. And so you, that's why you have. If you're looking at business, and this is a terrible, well, this is a challenging place to get business advice, as it were, but you have to be limber.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And that's really, that's really the key. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I think when I realized years ago, and I've forgotten lately and I just realized it, listening to you, years ago, I told myself, stop looking at fashion magazines . Stop looking at other photographers, just do your own thing. There you go. And I felt so happy when I did that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I couldn't care less about anybody else and what anyone else was doing. And I knew that the work that I was doing was coming from my own spirit and whatever was guiding me. And there you go, around me. That was happening. Na was happening naturally. And no matter what anyone said about my work, I was confident.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Because it came from my heart and I knew that it came from my own </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> source. Right, right. And honestly, my biggest takeaway from this whole thing was we kind of can't help comparing ourselves to people. We just kind of can't help it. But we need to make sure to compare ourselves both up as well as down. So the people we're more fortunate than, and the people we're less fortunate than to kind of keep ourselves in balance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Cuz if we spend too much time looking either up or down, which is a terrible way of putting things and makes people feel uncomfortable. But if we constantly are comparing ourselves to people who are quote unquote light years above us. We're gonna feel terrible if we keep comparing ourselves only to people who are light years below us</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> whatever that means to you or doesn't mean to you, ultimately, that's still not gonna be very fulfilling for us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, what if you do neither one and just keep focusing on your own self? Well, is that too? And there you go. But is that too, um, what's the word, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> narcissistic?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No. Oh my god. I was not gonna say that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No, I was gonna say, is that too introverted? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh, well, and that's fair too. A narcissist is an introvert on some level. Cause they're always, they're always looking inward at themselves. Oh my God. But anyways, um, no I wouldn't. But I would say that, you know, you are one of the rare breed who can do that. I think most people cannot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> We can't help but compare ourselves to others. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, I've been pretty miserable lately cuz I have been comparing myself to others. and there you go. But I'm gonna go back. I'm, I'm going back to just doing my own thing. I, I started that actually a couple weeks ago.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Fair enough. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But it's hard to get back to that because it's so hard</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> not to, it's, it's, it's hard to stop looking where you were looking. It's hard to stop looking at the social media. It's, it's hard because it's everywhere now. And, and that's just it. Even if you get off social media, it's still around </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you. Right? So I think if you're currently finding glee at the misfortunes of others, cuz we're getting an interesting influx of that right now,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> check yourself. If you're feeling bad because you're looking at other people who are quote unquote, more fortunate than yourself, check yourself. Just, you know, try and figure out a balance in there somewhere of feeling just good about where you're at. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. And I think the key is to just be quiet and go out to nature.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And if you're not surrounded by nature, at night, looking up at the sky and just letting that take over you and turning off all that noise. Well, that was really good honey. Thanks. Let's continue the conversation and we'll talk to you in a few days. Take care. Again, thank you so much for listening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Talk to you later. Be well. Bye.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[     Matt explores the findings of Leon Festinger who was trying to figure out how people like to arrange themselves into groups, peer groups, social groups, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so he started really trying to get an understanding of what that means.
     It's hard to measure yourself against other people in your peer group because peer groups are now infinitely huge and you make certain assumptions about who is and isn't in your peer group. People used to watch the Kardashians. How in the world can we relate to these people even though we live vastly different lives? What are the consequences of comparing ourselves to others?
     George Bush buys socks from Walmart and that look at how he's one of us makes him relatable. It was such an opportunistic, and it depends on which side of the political spectrum you live on, and how you react to that. But that was publicity. It was great publicity. Exactly. But that makes him relatable. And so what we're seeing in this day and age of the influencer, et cetera, et cetera, these people want to be relatable to the maximum number of people possible. And so they can afford and can curate the experience of seeing them, of, quote-unquote being with them in a very relatable way. And so you start to, we can't help it. It's kind of like we're wired to compare ourselves to these people and you can't compare yourselves to them. But we do, but we can't help it. And so this is why sometimes we get excited when we view one of these like pop celebrities as being bad. But that makes us quote-unquote "feel better about ourselves" because we can't help but compare ourselves to others in our peer groups. And also, and this is a really messed up part, is, once we've decided who's in our peer group, we will literally go out of our way to keep them in our peer group to keep them down.
 
The Social Comparison Theory
[00:00:00] FAWN: Welcome back everybody. Hello. Hello. How are you?
[00:00:04] MATT: Hello everyone. 
[00:00:05] FAWN: What are you up to? Hello Martin. Hello, Wendy. Hello, everyone. Everybody, everybody. Everybody around the world. Hello, France. Hello around the world. Matt, you've been looking into something. I have
[00:00:23] MATT: Right. It's the darnest thing. You go shooting down a rabbit hole, somebody puts three words together and all of a sudden, 
[00:00:28] FAWN: bam. How did it happen? How did you come across this thing?
[00:00:31] FAWN: I 
...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:21</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Worst Friend - The Noble Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Dec 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
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                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1340689</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-worst-friend-the-noble-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Have you ever had that person, that friend that was the worst? Like, you wish you had never, ever met this person? There may be people out there that are your enemy, that could do things to you that will disrupt and destroy what seems like everything including your sense of hope. Because of their actions and because of the situation that you were interlaced with, they could also be the spark and the motivation needed to get to the next level to get us to where our (the hero's) destiny lives, finding the motivation to go back to our true, powerful self. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Today, we discuss a key perspective needed to recover from the betrayal of a very, very bad friend. When the worst friend happens, it may feel like our entire life is shaken, even our physical body can shake like we're going through an ice storm. Have you ever gone through a breakup and it just, feels gross? You feel so exposed and downright shaky on all levels even physically I shake remembering some instances. It feels like all is lost and everything, quote unquote metaphorically speaking is burned down; everything is gone. Everything. We're stripped. Our life surroundings feel stripped. I think when this happens, it allows for a certain sparseness in order for us to find something that was buried, that was actually us; our sparkling us, that somehow got completely lost and buried. And because that “us” started to fade away, perhaps that's why the very, very, very, very bad friends came along.<br /><br />So in a way, these people were actually our friends who decided to step in and act so ugly for us to be, for it to be the catalyst situation for us to get back to finding who we were at our greatest original form. It's like spiritual house cleaning. And when everything is gone, we're going to find our true self that was there all along, and that's why this very, very, very, very bad friend is our great friend. I'm not saying we're gonna hang out with them and go to tea with them and have pajama parties. I'm saying that it was a good thing. It was a good thing. They acted so ugly. They were selfless enough to come in and be such an ugly force, for us to get back on track.<br /><br />Beyond devastation, beyond the level of betrayal, we can and will find our way back to perfect selves.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Best Worst Friend</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hi everybody. Welcome back. Hi. Hello. This episode is for when you think that all is lost. That everything is destroyed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's all bad and everything has burned to the ground. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Wicked. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Have you ever had that person, that friend that was the worst? Like, you wish you had never, ever met this person? There may be people out there that are your enemy, that could do things to you that will disrupt and destroy what seems like everything including your sense of hope. Because of their actions and because of the situation that you were interlaced with, they could also be the spark and the motivation needed to get to the next level to get us to where our (the hero's) destiny lives, finding the motivation to go back to our true, powerful self.  Today, we discuss a key perspective needed to recover from the betrayal of a very, very bad friend. When the worst friend happens, it may feel like our entire life is shaken, even our physical body can shake like we're going through an ice storm. Have you ever gone through a breakup and it just, feels gross? You feel so exposed and downright shaky on all levels even physically I shake remembering some instances. It feels like all is lost and everything, quote unquote metaphorically speaking is burned down; everything is gone. Everything. We're stripped. Our life surroundings feel stripped. I think when this happens, it allows for a certain sparseness in order for us to find something that was buried, that was actually us; our sparkling us, that somehow got completely lost and buried. And because that “us” started to fade away, perhaps that's why the very, very, very, very bad friends came along.So in a way, these people were actually our friends who decided to step in and act so ugly for us to be, for it to be the catalyst situation for us to get back to finding who we were at our greatest original form. It's like spiritual house cleaning. And when everything is gone, we're going to find our true self that was there all along, and that's why this very, very, very, very bad friend is our great friend. I'm not saying we're gonna hang out with them and go to tea with them and have pajama parties. I'm saying that it was a good thing. It was a good thing. They acted so ugly. They were selfless enough to come in and be such an ugly force, for us to get back on track.Beyond devastation, beyond the level of betrayal, we can and will find our way back to perfect selves.
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
 
The Best Worst Friend
[00:00:00] FAWN: Hi everybody. Welcome back. Hi. Hello. This episode is for when you think that all is lost. That everything is destroyed. 
[00:00:13] FAWN: Oh
[00:00:13] MATT: dear. 
[00:00:13] FAWN: It's all bad and everything has burned to the ground. 
[00:00:21] MATT: Wicked. 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Worst Friend - The Noble Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
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                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Have you ever had that person, that friend that was the worst? Like, you wish you had never, ever met this person? There may be people out there that are your enemy, that could do things to you that will disrupt and destroy what seems like everything including your sense of hope. Because of their actions and because of the situation that you were interlaced with, they could also be the spark and the motivation needed to get to the next level to get us to where our (the hero's) destiny lives, finding the motivation to go back to our true, powerful self. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Today, we discuss a key perspective needed to recover from the betrayal of a very, very bad friend. When the worst friend happens, it may feel like our entire life is shaken, even our physical body can shake like we're going through an ice storm. Have you ever gone through a breakup and it just, feels gross? You feel so exposed and downright shaky on all levels even physically I shake remembering some instances. It feels like all is lost and everything, quote unquote metaphorically speaking is burned down; everything is gone. Everything. We're stripped. Our life surroundings feel stripped. I think when this happens, it allows for a certain sparseness in order for us to find something that was buried, that was actually us; our sparkling us, that somehow got completely lost and buried. And because that “us” started to fade away, perhaps that's why the very, very, very, very bad friends came along.<br /><br />So in a way, these people were actually our friends who decided to step in and act so ugly for us to be, for it to be the catalyst situation for us to get back to finding who we were at our greatest original form. It's like spiritual house cleaning. And when everything is gone, we're going to find our true self that was there all along, and that's why this very, very, very, very bad friend is our great friend. I'm not saying we're gonna hang out with them and go to tea with them and have pajama parties. I'm saying that it was a good thing. It was a good thing. They acted so ugly. They were selfless enough to come in and be such an ugly force, for us to get back on track.<br /><br />Beyond devastation, beyond the level of betrayal, we can and will find our way back to perfect selves.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Best Worst Friend</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Hi everybody. Welcome back. Hi. Hello. This episode is for when you think that all is lost. That everything is destroyed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's all bad and everything has burned to the ground. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Wicked. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> This episode is about the very worst friend, kind of like your best friend, but your worst friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That's our daughter singing in the background. They're making breakfast and running around, so you're gonna hear a lot of noise. . The very worst friend. How do I start this man? How did I explain it to you the other day? There's something I've been thinking about lately a lot more for some reason, and I know the reason actually.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Years and years ago in the photography industry, I, I had a group of friends and it's a small world and the photography community for me was not a very kind one. It was incredibly competitive and people were, people were not the kindest, I gotta tell you. So I left a lot of those friends behind, and I'm using the word friends, very friendly, , very friendly way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You left that peer group behind maybe is the right way to, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> wasn't even a peer group. They wouldn't even allow me in their group. I, it, it they were not my peers. Well, that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> a whole other subject that I'd like to cover at </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">some </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> point. Yeah, definitely. But go ahead. What do you mean by that? Well, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> just</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> don't wanna, seriously, I don't wanna get into it right now, but everybody likes to feel that they're above average inside of any peer group right. And, lacking objective measures, they go subjective. But then there's always those people who wanna maintain their above average status. And so you need people who they consider below average.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It's a weird world, but that's social comparison theory in, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> let's not talk about that right now. We'll talk about that next episode maybe, but, um, I don't know. Is it the same as when people, especially in Hollywood, when I was there, Hollywood, the, this thing was always said, cuz I, I was in the, in industry, in and out, you know, my head down trying to survive, trying to, like, trying to make it, you know mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> before I mm-hmm. , forget it. I was like nuts to this, I'm out. Bye. And I, and I just did it on my. Far, far away from la. And so, um, is it the same as like constantly? What I heard was if you are, if you're nice, you're perceived as weak. That's what they would say. Right? And that's how they acted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> People were very mean. And a few years ago, I ran into a crowd from the industry that I had just met, but they were from Europe, and they were like, Fawn, it's totally changed. It's not like that anymore. That's like old school. I'm like, really? Because just, just, just the other night I was looking at some movies that were on Amazon.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I saw one of my enemies, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> oh, see, I'm really glad I don't run into any of my enemies out there in the world, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> but like, I'm like, okay, so now this person has a movie that they did, and it took me a while because I, I was like, okay, I, I don't wanna watch it because I want nothing to do with this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Just the, the name of this person triggers me. I'm like, well, I obviously have a charge, right? So I wanna get rid of that. So let, let me just be objective. What do you mean? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> no, no, no, go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Why are you making </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> that noise? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Just cause I generally, um, go through avoidance, but that's me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, you avoid and then things happen and you get sick.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I, when things come up, I'm like, let me get this outta my spirit, outta my body. It doesn't belong with me. I gotta clear it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So I sat there and I was like, all right. I bet you I was thinking to myself, I bet you Fawn, that this movie will be all about her , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> even though it's supposed to be a documentary on the state of the industry or some subject, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> No, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> was the state of the world. Oh, state of the whole world. Well, no, the culture, not even the world. They're not. Please like, so, so what's the word? Narcissistic and like self-absorbed please. You know, like so hard trying to be edgy. You know? They love that word, edgy. They, everyone would, you had to be edgy and I wasn't edgy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You know, I was all about love and my pictures were just about the beauty of humanity. And so no, I didn't photograph edgy stuff. I could have, I was definitely in those situations. That's not where I choose to focus. Anyway, I'm getting off the subject, sorry. But I was like, I bet you it'll be about her. But anyway, so I, I turned, I, I started to play the movie and I didn't, I couldn't even watch the whole thing, but sure enough, the first 30 minutes all about her, it was like, oh my God, nothing has changed after all these years.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it's the same mess. It's the same freight </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> train. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, it, it revolves around my theory that, you know, it really takes a catastrophic event to, to cause fundamental shifts in people. And that rarely happens because we get so much reinforcement in doing things the way we've always done things. And then you run into being Blockbuster video and you don't know what to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> speaking of reinforcement, theyre reinforced because they're surrounded by a bunch of people, and that's how they act and that's the way to be and fine, that's their way. I want nothing to do with it. Right? Which is obviously why I'm here and they're there, , you know? And sometimes I just feel like, wow, I have totally veered off course because I'm not at this status level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I'm like, no, that's not the status level I ever wanted it. It's gross. It's gross how they, to me it's gross how they operate. So I want nothing to do with it. I'm just gonna do it my way. And unfortunately, my way is alone. Like this person totally did me dirt. Mm-hmm. , they did me dirt . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I was trying to be kind and I was trying to be low key.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , but like I wasn't about to have them disrespect me, so I quietly walked away one day when they had me wait in their house for. Like close to three hours. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, I'm sure they were really busy with things other than just talking to random people on the phone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They were talking to like quote unquote famous, influential people </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and Right, right, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Definition more important than you, and I wanna make </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> sure you know that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, exactly. And I was there. I don't remember. It was a friend had set up a meeting for us, for us to become like acquaintances. Mm-hmm. in the industry and perhaps, I don't know, this other friend thought maybe I could assist her on something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't know. It was just a meet, like a meeting and three hours. I was sitting there totally ignored by her. And she like goes about her day and she's like, She barely said two words to me, so close to hour three. I was like, I'm outta here. Right? So I quietly, like I just said, okay, bye, thank you. Right? And I left.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And then I thought, you know, she would get it like, wow, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I totally dissed this person. And who totally was waiting for me for, oh my goodness, it's been three hours. I didn't realize. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So I, when I got back to my studio mm-hmm. , I get a call. The friend who set this up and she's like, what did you do? She said, you were a psycho.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> She called me a psycho. I'm like, wow. Wow. So anyway, is it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> because you didn't get upset because you probably sat there reasonably bored, waiting sometimes for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> the meeting? We've talked about this, Matt. Sometimes when you do someone wrong when someone does something wrong. Right. They'll make any excuse to justify their behavior.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yes. So yeah, I'm, I was "crazy", I was whatever, "psycho", whatever. Just because I decided to quietly say, well, thank you. I'm gonna leave. It's been three hours now. I'm gonna leave now. Bye bye. Like, I'm sorry you're this famous person. I don't care. Right. You know what I mean? My time is my life. My life is valuable also.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Anyway, I didn't say any of that. I just quietly bowed out, you know? Mm-hmm. . Anyway, so a few months later I was applying to this grant, and I was turned down in such a way, I don't remember the words, Matt, but it was so ugly. I'm like, wow, why aren't they just turning me down? Why are they attacking my character?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Guess who was on the committee to let people in? She was. Anyway. Anyway, this is just me still venting about the other night. Sorry, but, what I'm trying to say is that there are people out there that are your enemy. That will do things to you that will disrupt everything. That will destroy everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Not only things that you've built in your life, but they destroy your sense of hope. Because of their actions and because of the situation that you were interlaced with, they are the spark that feels like destroys everything. Mm-hmm. destroys your spirit destroys your, whatever you were working on physically.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Have you ever had that person, that friend that was the worst? Like, you're like, oh my goodness, like you wish you had never, ever met this person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. Not that far, but close. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So the thing that I've learned that I, that I wanna talk about today briefly, and, and that's it. I'm so sorry to talk about the photography thing for so long.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But like, for example, for me, those best friends were the yoga bitches that I always talk about. They, except for our kids, they really hurt our kids. There because they're way younger. It, it, it took them, they're still trying to recover from it, right? From their betrayal, the betrayal of the very, very bad friend, and there were multiple of them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It was a group. When that happens, your entire life, is shaken, even your physical body. Have you ever gone through a breakup and it's just, it feels gross? You feel so exposed and downright shaky on all levels, like even physically I shake. Does that happen </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> to you, Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. For me it's a little different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Um, when I, when I were lad I played soccer and once or twice I got involved, I think it was only once. Thank goodness where I got the air knocked outta. Soccer ball hit me in the stomach, or who knows what, right? Mm-hmm. , when you get the air knocked outta you, you can't breathe. You're breathing, but it feels like you can't breathe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It feels like you're never gonna catch your breath. You're lying down on the ground. You're surrounded by people who are looking at you like, oh my goodness, what's happening? And, and you eventually catch your breath and life goes on, right? Mm-hmm. . That's how I feel. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Wow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I feel like I can't breathe, and I think it's because I got the air knocked outta me when </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I were lad.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Wow. It's, it's really a frightening thing. Yeah. And yet, you know, as long as you're breathing, you're okay, but it just feels like you just can't catch. And it's like, that's, that's ridiculous. If you've never had it happen to you, it doesn't make any sense. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So you've had that also happen on a spiritual sense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That's how it feels when Yeah, something like that happens. It feels like I just can't catch my breath. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm sorry, honey </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> is what it is . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, when this happens, this is what I've learned. When all is lost mm-hmm. , I feel like because all is lost and everything, quote unquote metaphorically speaking is burned down, everything is gone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , everything. Your stripped. Your life surroundings feel stripped. I think when that happens, it allows for a certain sparseness, for you to find something that was buried, that was actually you; you're sparkling you, right? That somehow got completely lost and buried right? And because that started to fade away, perhaps that's why, one tends to attract these other very, very, very, very bad friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So in a way, speaking, like if you're gonna step away from where you are and step further away and further away, and just look at the planet from outer space and everything is really small, and then you look at it like maybe on an angelic realm, these people were actually your best friends who decided to step in and say, you know what, I'm gonna come in and act so ugly</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> for you to be; for it to be like the catalyst situation for you to get back to finding who you were. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, it's who you are. It's, it's like spiritual house cleaning. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Exactly. Oh my God. Yeah. That's totally it. So you know when everything is gone, you're going to find your true self that was there all along, and that's why this very, very, very, very bad friend</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> is your best friend. I'm not saying you're gonna hang out with them and go to tea with them and have pajama parties. I'm saying that it was a good thing. It was a good thing. They acted so ugly. They were selfless enough to come in and be such an ugly force, for you to get back on track. So for me, like with the yoga crew mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> when all that happened, oh my God, it, it was devastation. I couldn't believe the level of betrayal, right? And the level of stupidity, who that was happening, ignorance, all of that. And then little by little throughout the quiet, I discovered little things like my aviator glasses. My aviator sunglasses, little sparks of who I was way back from the Santa Monica days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . And it started to come back. Right. And I'm like, and I thought it was just an inner thing. And then what also came back was that sense of power that I had inside of me, that like supremely powerful Fawn. That supremely powerful you getting back to remembering who that was; the" vibrant, nothing can get you down,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you're gonna make it, you're an amazing force." That, that for me was lost before I met these people. Mm-hmm. . And I feel like I met them for me to get angry enough in a way to find myself again. And I thought it was just me and I thought it was just on the inside, but it took a friend who knows my Santa Monica days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> She came to visit us and she looked at me as we were walking to the car one day. She's like, oh my God, Santa Monica is back. I'm like, oh, she's looking at my aviators, , or like, just the way I was strutting, you know, just my walk. My walk was different. Mm-hmm. , my walk was back. My, my power was back. The martial artsy, like inner vibe, circle was back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I gotta thank the very, very bad friend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Multiple. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I totally get it. I wouldn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> quantify them as a friend. I'd more like say that they were a teacher here to give you a lesson, as it were. And I know there was a long relationship before that, but the end of the friendship was the lesson. . Yeah. And I had something very similar.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And this was, this was, this was high school. I was, you know, I was 15. Um, I literally, this was my best friend. We had been best friends for a long time. We had a, we had a Kool-Aid stand together. My goodness. He lived in the same housing track, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, I used to, yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> underage. I used to, I used to be one of those annoying people who would hang real estate signs on people's doors. You did? Yes. You know, the little flyers to say, Hey, do such and such. I gotta, you know, I got paid better than minimum wage. But, and really, but he and I worked at that. It was, it was his gig and he cut me in on it and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And when that friendship burned to the ground, I burned it to the ground, first of all, cuz I got fed up with stuff. Mm-hmm. . So it was a matter of taking back, you know, my own sense of self as you described. You know, I lost all of that, but I didn't feel like a loss because it was just like I got rid of things that weren't serving me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , which is wholly different. And then later I had a later experience where something similar happened. In that instance it was actually a different focus. I didn't feel like I burned everything down, it felt like all of a sudden I had a lot of free time and I started saying, okay, I'm gonna focus on the things I excel at and I'm gonna pick up stuff that I don't know how to do that I've always wanted to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And that's when I, stuff like learned how to hit a ball with a bat cuz I didn't know how to do that , which is really funny, but I didn't, and I, that was always something I wanted to be reasonably competent at. And I got reasonably competent. Now, I haven't done it forever, but that's another </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> story. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But that's your, one of your go-tos is going to the batting </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> cages.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That's just it. There's a certain piece to that as far as what works for me. Yeah, and that's also when I picked up disc golf and that's also blah, blah, blah, blah. A lot of the things that I do that I enjoy, stem from, losing sight of this teacher. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It goes back to, once again, the world is a small town</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and everybody's your friend, right? And you know, the girls used to like saying, that's not our friend. I'm like, but it is. And you just said they're not. You wouldn't, you wouldn't, you wouldn't call them your friend, but they are your friends. Because if you look at it on a level of like an Akashic level, you know, a level of, um, spirit that before you're a person, before you're here as a human being, walking planet earth. We've talked about this, like for years on our podcast, I always say even the person that you walk past on a city sidewalk, that that's a meeting that was planned. Everything is planned. Everything is a meeting perfectly timed. And I think that these ugly, horrible, horrible people,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> there's a contract and yeah, it's on a soul level, this person chose to be the hated character, the villain of a movie, and in a way that's pretty noble. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right. Well, the villain in a movie, I think via John Campbell's kind of thought about the whole thing, forces our hero to really embrace their destiny and really, bring everything to full focus.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know, uh, typically in a martial arts movie, it's when they start training, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. and getting really good, really, you know, able to quote unquote, defeat </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> this enemy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That's when you want to bowl. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Do you remember that movie with Jean Claude Van Damme Kickboxer? Oh, have you ever watched that movie, "Kickboxer"</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> maybe they changed it. They </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> probably have, God knows I have mocked it often enough. But the, the antagonist name was Tong Po. And our hero, Jean-Claude Van Dam is like, I want to, the line is I want Tong Po because he wants to battle him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He wants to fight. Fight. He killed his brother or something, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't remember.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> He mamed</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> his brother. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Like paralyzed. But anyway, right. That's right. . But yeah, on the DVD DVDs. Remember those? Um, the, what? The translations I was, I was running the subtitles and the subtitle came across. I want to bowl . Like to go bowling? To go bowling. Oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh dear. But that's the, I wanna go bowling moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right, right. When you get to that level, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> when you finally realized he finally got all the motivation he needed to get to the next level to get to where the hero's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> destiny. Yeah, and that's basically it. Finding the motivation to go back to your true, powerful self. And that's it. That's the very, very, very, very bad friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank you. And as, I don't know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> if I want to thank him, but it certainly was a growing moment. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You, you have to be thankful for it. You get to a point where you're like, thank you, thank you, cuz I never have to see you again. Hopefully, or, and also thank you because I'm in a better place now. I'm, I'm free and clear of all the debris, all the garbage.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you. I would say thank you for the lesson. I wouldn't say thank you to the person, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Okay. You have to work on it, Matt. No way, man. You're still holding onto some stuff. . All right, friends, that's it. We'll talk to you in just a few days. We love you so much. Thank you for listening. We'll talk to you in a few days again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Bye. Be well. Bye.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[Have you ever had that person, that friend that was the worst? Like, you wish you had never, ever met this person? There may be people out there that are your enemy, that could do things to you that will disrupt and destroy what seems like everything including your sense of hope. Because of their actions and because of the situation that you were interlaced with, they could also be the spark and the motivation needed to get to the next level to get us to where our (the hero's) destiny lives, finding the motivation to go back to our true, powerful self.  Today, we discuss a key perspective needed to recover from the betrayal of a very, very bad friend. When the worst friend happens, it may feel like our entire life is shaken, even our physical body can shake like we're going through an ice storm. Have you ever gone through a breakup and it just, feels gross? You feel so exposed and downright shaky on all levels even physically I shake remembering some instances. It feels like all is lost and everything, quote unquote metaphorically speaking is burned down; everything is gone. Everything. We're stripped. Our life surroundings feel stripped. I think when this happens, it allows for a certain sparseness in order for us to find something that was buried, that was actually us; our sparkling us, that somehow got completely lost and buried. And because that “us” started to fade away, perhaps that's why the very, very, very, very bad friends came along.So in a way, these people were actually our friends who decided to step in and act so ugly for us to be, for it to be the catalyst situation for us to get back to finding who we were at our greatest original form. It's like spiritual house cleaning. And when everything is gone, we're going to find our true self that was there all along, and that's why this very, very, very, very bad friend is our great friend. I'm not saying we're gonna hang out with them and go to tea with them and have pajama parties. I'm saying that it was a good thing. It was a good thing. They acted so ugly. They were selfless enough to come in and be such an ugly force, for us to get back on track.Beyond devastation, beyond the level of betrayal, we can and will find our way back to perfect selves.
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
 
The Best Worst Friend
[00:00:00] FAWN: Hi everybody. Welcome back. Hi. Hello. This episode is for when you think that all is lost. That everything is destroyed. 
[00:00:13] FAWN: Oh
[00:00:13] MATT: dear. 
[00:00:13] FAWN: It's all bad and everything has burned to the ground. 
[00:00:21] MATT: Wicked. 
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:23:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Kindness Rules - The Top 5 Ways of Showing Kindness]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Nov 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1336110</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/kindness-rules-the-top-5-ways-of-showing-kindness</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">This week we go over the top 5 types of kindness and the top 5 places kindness can be displayed. </span></strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">It's said that one of the reasons why people stop and aren't kind is because kindness takes time (either they have no time or they perceive that they have no time). We think that kindness does not take time. Kindness has many ways. One way could be in the way you look at someone. Smiling, for example, has an art to it (the art of smiling is a thing that Fawn talks about all the time). We can all absolutely feel and see people smile. We can sense a genuine smile. When we are being completely in the moment, even if we're rushed, allows for some gentleness to occur for ourselves (within our little bubble). That feeling ripples out. That's a form of kindness.<br />Matt shows how kindness is interpreted; how people see expressions of kindness, through a study that was done in the UK by the University of Sussex. <br /><br />As Fawn and Matt discuss how people view kindness and add to it the perception of how time and opportunity as well as preconceived ideas play a role in kindness, Fawn makes the point that we all have our talents, that we all have our ways to provide kindness, and argues that there should not be a blanket way to be kind; that there are many, many infinite possibilities where kindness can show itself. We should never ever underestimate the power of a genuine smile.<br /><br /><br /> It's a brave act to be kind, because yes if you are expected kindness to be understood and </span><span style="color:#4d5156;"><span style="font-family:Roboto, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">reciprocated</span></span></span><span style="font-size:small;"> immediately, you may get your feelings hurt. Being kind should be like lending someone money. Don't lend someone money and expect to get it back. If you lend it, just give it with the expectation that you'll never see it again. You're not being kind to get something in response. You're being kind to help somebody. When someone is hurting, they may lash out at you. They're in so much pain and that pain is just ricocheting off everywhere. And you may get hit by it. You have to kind of expect that and not let that injure you and keep going with your kindness and do your good deed.<br /><br />So why bother being kind? Why not just concentrate on me in mine? Humanity is one body. When one person is in pain, we all feel the pain. And if that person is ignored (their pain is ignored, their pain will spread out to the rest of society. So being kind is really being kind to others, is being kind to yourself. In our own house, if someone is in a bad mood and someone is crying and someone's upset, it affects the whole home. It's the same thing outside of the home. It's the same thing in our society. So that is why kindness is important. It's pretty simple. </span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">We'd all much rather live in a world where everyone is kind than a world where everyone is not kind. And even if that's a world where we just try and help, everybody wants to live in a world where everybody's trying to help them, and that makes it easier for us to try and help everyone. This results in us having more energy. If you're constantly feeling like everything is, "you're on your own kid" as we hear all the time growing up in the United States, "pull yourself by your bootstraps." "You're on your own kid" at 18, you're out. When we hear all that stuff, it is disheartening. It is impossible and exhausting to do everything ourselves.<br /><br />The honest truth is there's no way we...</span></strong></span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[This week we go over the top 5 types of kindness and the top 5 places kindness can be displayed. It's said that one of the reasons why people stop and aren't kind is because kindness takes time (either they have no time or they perceive that they have no time). We think that kindness does not take time. Kindness has many ways. One way could be in the way you look at someone. Smiling, for example, has an art to it (the art of smiling is a thing that Fawn talks about all the time). We can all absolutely feel and see people smile. We can sense a genuine smile. When we are being completely in the moment, even if we're rushed, allows for some gentleness to occur for ourselves (within our little bubble). That feeling ripples out. That's a form of kindness.Matt shows how kindness is interpreted; how people see expressions of kindness, through a study that was done in the UK by the University of Sussex. As Fawn and Matt discuss how people view kindness and add to it the perception of how time and opportunity as well as preconceived ideas play a role in kindness, Fawn makes the point that we all have our talents, that we all have our ways to provide kindness, and argues that there should not be a blanket way to be kind; that there are many, many infinite possibilities where kindness can show itself. We should never ever underestimate the power of a genuine smile. It's a brave act to be kind, because yes if you are expected kindness to be understood and reciprocated immediately, you may get your feelings hurt. Being kind should be like lending someone money. Don't lend someone money and expect to get it back. If you lend it, just give it with the expectation that you'll never see it again. You're not being kind to get something in response. You're being kind to help somebody. When someone is hurting, they may lash out at you. They're in so much pain and that pain is just ricocheting off everywhere. And you may get hit by it. You have to kind of expect that and not let that injure you and keep going with your kindness and do your good deed.So why bother being kind? Why not just concentrate on me in mine? Humanity is one body. When one person is in pain, we all feel the pain. And if that person is ignored (their pain is ignored, their pain will spread out to the rest of society. So being kind is really being kind to others, is being kind to yourself. In our own house, if someone is in a bad mood and someone is crying and someone's upset, it affects the whole home. It's the same thing outside of the home. It's the same thing in our society. So that is why kindness is important. It's pretty simple. 
We'd all much rather live in a world where everyone is kind than a world where everyone is not kind. And even if that's a world where we just try and help, everybody wants to live in a world where everybody's trying to help them, and that makes it easier for us to try and help everyone. This results in us having more energy. If you're constantly feeling like everything is, "you're on your own kid" as we hear all the time growing up in the United States, "pull yourself by your bootstraps." "You're on your own kid" at 18, you're out. When we hear all that stuff, it is disheartening. It is impossible and exhausting to do everything ourselves.The honest truth is there's no way we...]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Kindness Rules - The Top 5 Ways of Showing Kindness]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">This week we go over the top 5 types of kindness and the top 5 places kindness can be displayed. </span></strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">It's said that one of the reasons why people stop and aren't kind is because kindness takes time (either they have no time or they perceive that they have no time). We think that kindness does not take time. Kindness has many ways. One way could be in the way you look at someone. Smiling, for example, has an art to it (the art of smiling is a thing that Fawn talks about all the time). We can all absolutely feel and see people smile. We can sense a genuine smile. When we are being completely in the moment, even if we're rushed, allows for some gentleness to occur for ourselves (within our little bubble). That feeling ripples out. That's a form of kindness.<br />Matt shows how kindness is interpreted; how people see expressions of kindness, through a study that was done in the UK by the University of Sussex. <br /><br />As Fawn and Matt discuss how people view kindness and add to it the perception of how time and opportunity as well as preconceived ideas play a role in kindness, Fawn makes the point that we all have our talents, that we all have our ways to provide kindness, and argues that there should not be a blanket way to be kind; that there are many, many infinite possibilities where kindness can show itself. We should never ever underestimate the power of a genuine smile.<br /><br /><br /> It's a brave act to be kind, because yes if you are expected kindness to be understood and </span><span style="color:#4d5156;"><span style="font-family:Roboto, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">reciprocated</span></span></span><span style="font-size:small;"> immediately, you may get your feelings hurt. Being kind should be like lending someone money. Don't lend someone money and expect to get it back. If you lend it, just give it with the expectation that you'll never see it again. You're not being kind to get something in response. You're being kind to help somebody. When someone is hurting, they may lash out at you. They're in so much pain and that pain is just ricocheting off everywhere. And you may get hit by it. You have to kind of expect that and not let that injure you and keep going with your kindness and do your good deed.<br /><br />So why bother being kind? Why not just concentrate on me in mine? Humanity is one body. When one person is in pain, we all feel the pain. And if that person is ignored (their pain is ignored, their pain will spread out to the rest of society. So being kind is really being kind to others, is being kind to yourself. In our own house, if someone is in a bad mood and someone is crying and someone's upset, it affects the whole home. It's the same thing outside of the home. It's the same thing in our society. So that is why kindness is important. It's pretty simple. </span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">We'd all much rather live in a world where everyone is kind than a world where everyone is not kind. And even if that's a world where we just try and help, everybody wants to live in a world where everybody's trying to help them, and that makes it easier for us to try and help everyone. This results in us having more energy. If you're constantly feeling like everything is, "you're on your own kid" as we hear all the time growing up in the United States, "pull yourself by your bootstraps." "You're on your own kid" at 18, you're out. When we hear all that stuff, it is disheartening. It is impossible and exhausting to do everything ourselves.<br /><br />The honest truth is there's no way we would survive doing everything ourselves. Do you know how to invent electricity? What if we lost the art of knowing how to produce electricity or we lost the art of making glass? Look at all the things that are at our fingertips; that we take for granted that make our lives comfortable. We are dependent on one another. We need each other. We need to relearn the art of kindness because it's not just about performing certain acts that you feel like you're indebted to. It's not about obligation. It is about kindness. It's not about obligation. It's about making someone's life better. And if you think about it, kindness should be thought of in business because no matter what kind of business you're in, if a lawyer or a dentist or a shoemaker, it doesn't matter; you're there to make someone's life easier. Many businesses forget or neglect that they're there to improve someone's life. We are interlaced.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Kindness Rules - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. Hello? Hello. Hello. Matt just asked me if I was mad at him and I didn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> answer him </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> exactly. I think it's a valid question. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It totally is. The truth is, I feel annoyed at everything this morning and you are the center of it. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But I've been nothing but lovely. I made </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> breakfast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I was thinking to myself, although it's not the topic for today, I was thinking to myself, what do you do when you're annoyed all the time by things, little, everything, even annoyed by the person you totally love, which is happening? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Who was delightful </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> nonetheless, I am so annoyed today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I woke up that way, and I think it's because I need time for myself. I haven't been taking care of my own psyche. I haven't been able to take care of everything that I wanna take care of for a few months now. And, I'm tired. I woke up, I got ready, got all dolled up. And fell asleep on the couch, and I just woke up again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So yeah, when you're annoyed, look inside and that's what I'm trying to do. So does that answer your question? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yes. It is interesting though. Oh, I'm sorry. loud there. He just blew out my ear. I'm sorry. Uh, I do think it's interesting cuz it does tie into today's topic, which is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> kindness. Again, kudos to you cuz you're, you're going to lead today, today's conversation, and I know what you're gonna talk about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I wanna start off by something that really annoyed me. You're not gonna let me years ago with my point. I'm, I'm gonna do one of the things on your list, I just kind of looked over, I peeked at it. One of the things that you wanted to talk about, Helping other people, for example, with their bags and stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I don't wanna jump ahead and like make you start with that. I just wanna say, talk about being annoyed. I have something to say about that. So when you get to the part about the bags, I wanna say something. All right. All right. Go ahead Matt. Hi. Hello. Let's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> See where I wanted to go, which now we've </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> segue. Aren't even gonna say hello to everyone. Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Where we've segue. Oh, she hates it when I do that, folks. Oh, dear. Yes. Yes. Okay. I wanted to segue because one of the reasons why people stop and aren't kind is because kindness takes time. And they have no time or they perceive that they have no </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Kindness does not take time. Kindness is in the way you look at someone and you know, and also since, since people had to wear masks and stuff over the last few years, people say, oh, well you can't see people smile. You can absolutely feel and see people smile. If you can see their eyes, and I say, even if their face is covered, you can still sense a smile.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> as opposed to someone growling at you, . Oh dear. Not, not growling with a sound, but menacing. You know what I'm saying? You can sense it and it goes back to flirting. Do you know how to flirt with someone? Can you flirt with someone from across the room with just eye contact, tell them that you think that there's something special.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yes you can. And that's how you flirt. And I think not just with flirting to find a mate to meet with. I think flirting should be understood. And it's an art to study because it's for all of us. It's how we communicate with our eyes. Go ahead, Matt. No, it's fine. Or we're reversing the rolls because I wanna disagree with every little thing you say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Okay. But see how </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you like it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Feel free to disagree with 60,000 people, who took a 30 minute survey across 140 countries and who said one of the things, limiting how kind they are is lack of time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So that's fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, that's why I would </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> like to talk about the Art of Friendship because it doesn't take time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> A lot of things don't take time. That is a lazy excuse to come up with, to not be kind. Right? Go ahead, give some examples. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Some examples of what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> the of, of what takes time to be kind. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> If </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you're in a rush, you're not perceiving and you're not taking in the moment, so it's hard for you to even perceive opportunities.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You. That's when, like I said, today I was feeling, I am feeling very perturbed, but as soon as I realize it, I need to be kind, kind to myself and say, you know what? I need to rest and I need to be in the moment. And being completely in the moment, even if you're rushed, allows for some gentleness to occur for yourself and within your little bubble and that ripples out. And that's a form of kindness because you're more gentle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So it, it doesn't take that much time to be kind. It's a vibe. It's a vibe and it's how you walk with that. And you should be walking with mindfulness, and mindfulness is kind and it doesn't take time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> People see expressions of kindness. Or they've interpreted, this was a study that was done in the UK by the University of Sussex.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> They have def unfortunately, or fortunately, they're, one of their definitions of kindness is actually kind of performing actions. It's a way of clearly seeing that somebody is being kind. So again, lack of time means lack of, opportunity to perform an action. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Just because a university does a study doesn't mean it's the right kind of study.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It doesn't mean that they did it right. So you can get 60,000 people. Yes. I mean, last week we were talking about Myers Briggs. Oh. And that is full of crap. We know that. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> As soon as, as soon as it was vetted, it kind of fell apart. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So I'm just saying just because you got 60,000 people to agree on something, you're not gonna sway me because I think being kind is really simple.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> How does it feel, Matt, to be the opposite? ? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> No, no, no. It's, it's, it's all good. And you know what, if, if that's where we're going, that's where we're going and that's totally fine. I'm, and what we're, what were, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> hold on, hold on. I'm not trying to do this to be mean to you, by the way. I don't do it to be mean </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> to you either.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. Okay. Well, I just, well, I feel mean cause this is not normally my nature to constantly break down whatever you say, but this subject mm-hmm. really, is important to me. Right. And I don't want people to go, well you see, you study proves it that it takes time and it's hard. It's not! </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> okay. Hard. No. Is it, does it require time? Sometimes. And did you say hard? Hard. A hard no. On what? Is it hard? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No. Is it hard to be kind? Right. Sometimes it is. Sometimes you do have to go outta your way. Sometimes it can be for sure. I mean, somebody's car could be, um, the tire needs to be changed on the side or the road.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And if you don't know how to fix it and you pull over to try to help this person, yeah, that is hard. It takes time. I don't know how to do it. You know, we all have our talents, we have our ways to provide kindness and I think that we look at a blanket way to be kind as the only way to be kind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> There are many, many infinite possibilities where kindness can show itself. Correct. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But it's hard to express kindness without performing an action.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I disagree.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:05]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I know. I know you do. But just because you look at somebody and smile, it doesn't necessarily mean the other person feels you're being </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> kind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It does, if it's sincere. Look, the other day I was driving out of our neighborhood and I'm looking around for other kids, other, like preteens, teens. Mm-hmm. . Because I want our kids to find these other kids out there. , we still don't know a lot of people. We know our street and who lives on this particular street.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So as I was driving away, the bus stop happens. Like the bus comes and these kids get off the bus and oh my God, the most orneriest or orry</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> the most, or. Kids came off this bus. Mind you, they were probably tired and the whole day at school, because they have to deal with school and whatever happens there, which I, I hate because obviously that's why we're homeschooling. But they looked so angry and tired and defeated. And I, I understand like if someone, a stranger is looking at them, you know, I, I, I kind of remember that like, what are you looking at, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Is the kind of attitude like, are you another person that's gonna get on me? But honestly, I, uh, I was seriously looking to find friends. And this one, teen teenager who looked like very edgy and stuff, she caught me looking at them. She smiled the most beautiful, heartwarming smile that to this day, I'm like, oh, , it changed my day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You know, she obviously felt my, , sincerity in front friendship, even though I was looking for a friend for my kids. Like, Hey, are you my friends kid? Are you my kids friends? Um, but like, wow. So that right there, Never underestimate the power of a genuine smile. I'm not talking about the other smiles I tell you guys about all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like when you see those real estate agents who or whoever is a professional, you see portraits of them. They think that the mere stretching of the lips and the showing of the teeth is a smile, and those are horrifying smiles. They're not smiles. Just because you stretch your lips to the sides doesn't mean you're smiling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It is horrible. That's what I'm talking about, Matt. It has to be genuine. I can feel </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> get it. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> yesterday I was, I was with my, my youngest, we were </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> at the library </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and this woman came in and she was like, I lost my library card. And they're like, oh, okay. We have a stash of library cards that people have turned in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So what's your last name? And she said what her last name is, and then the woman is like, your name's not. And it was a kid, it was a boy's name, and this was a woman. And. No, that's my son. Son lost his library card. I was being, I gave out a chuckle, but I was feeling very kind and I was like, oh, in there, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Complete indifference back to me. Complete indifference. Didn't even look at me. Didn't even just. Trying to take care of business and just blah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Okay. So you have a woman </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> that has to prove something to a system. So being a woman, you already feel like you're being judged and you're having to prove yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And then you have a man laughing. You don't have the capacity to look over say is this a kindhearted man? All you, so that that's what you're faced against, Matt. So you have to realize that, that just because you have a kind heart doesn't mean that a woman in that situation having to yet again prove herself to get something that is rightfully hers, like to justify something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It doesn't mean that she'll have the capacity to, to hear your kindness. You understand what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I d (Matt tries to say something). </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's like when you said good for you to that person, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> always gotta bring that up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, because it's a great example. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Matt said, good for you to this person that said, I can't help you, I'm really busy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And he said, good for you. And the person got really bent out of shape to the point where I had to call her back. And this business explain it was a business saying she, she couldn't make it to our house she couldn't do the hardwood floors because she can't take any more clients. She's too busy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Matt said, good for you. She totally misunderstood that as SAR sarcasm, but you genuinely. Because we, you know, back then we were studying businesses and having our own business and everything. So we, we, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> excited that a local business had too much to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> handle </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and a local woman owned business that was doing well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So you actually meant good for you, but again, you have to consider what, what is truly happening there. Do you know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I totally </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> get it. And that again, this. The survey actually played out. Interestingly enough, they said that the kind of the two reasons why people aren't kinder is because the fear, the fear that it's gonna be misinterpreted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. and no time. So we're kind of bouncing, but still bouncing between those things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That's why I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> say it's brave. It's a brave act to be kind, because yes, even if you look at kids, like when kids get hurt, even if it's your own. Let's say they stub their toe or they fall down and they're crying and you go over there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> There, there's a certain age where you like go over there and you're like trying to hug them and you're trying to take care of their hurt. They will literally push you away physically and yell at you. I don't know why. I don't know the psychology behind that, but they're like, get away from me, and you have to</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> expect that in a way from everybody. Right? I know it sounds terrible, but if you're gonna be kind, it's like lending someone money. Don't lend someone money and expect to get it back. Lend it and, and just give it with the expectation that you'll never see it again. You're not being kind to get something in response.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You're being kind to help somebody. So yeah, they may lash out at you. Because they're in so much pain and that pain is just ricocheting off everywhere. Right? Right. And you may get hit by it. So you have to, unfortunately, this is my advice. You have to kind of expect that and not let that injure you and keep going with your kindness and do your good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> deed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. As soon as you start looking for, to get something out of it, other than just the pure kind of good vibe you get and the, you know, call it the good karma that you get because of it. Yeah. You start running into problems. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> mean, we all know that hurt people hurt. We have heard that it's become a trope now, I guess.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Is that a trope? I don't know. Whatever </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> meme. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's become a meme. That hurt people hurt, but it's true, right? When people are hurt, they hurt others or they hurt, you know, you wanna smash something you want the anger to be released from you. So it's like, a cloud, a dark cloud with electricity around it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's not going to be a rainbow, fluffy day, do you know what I'm saying? To be around that cloud will expose you to something that is not unicorns. And wishes, you know what I'm saying? Yes. Um, anyway, go ahead. I forgot what I was gonna say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So why do you suppose people are kind anyways? I mean, why bother? Why not just concentrate on me in mine? Why not just takey, takey, all the time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> because I think at our core, we all know that we're all interlaced and that we're all, we're all interconnected. When you're in pain, I'm in pain. When you're happy, I'm happy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I get it. I almost wanna take a slightly more , slightly more negative view of things and I, I would say just from a kind of an evolutionary perspective, If I'm, if you are sick and I help you, then when I'm sick, you'll help me. So there can be an integral selfishness at its core where it started and then as we evolved, it's still in there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But I think that, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I know what you mean. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think I would take it like a metaphysical. Or, or like, let's take it to this level. Let's say your body is your body and um, let's say Joe, we're looking at Joe Joe's knee hurts. But everywhere else he's fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , you wanna take care of that knee because if you don't take care of that knee, That pain or whatever is not addressed. If you're not gonna treat that knee, if you're not going to be kind to that knee and take care of that knee and give that knee what it needs, , um, it will spread to other places and take over the whole body, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Humanity is one body. When one person is in pain and you don't have that person, it (the pain) will spread. That person will inflict pain on others or it will just grow. If there's an area, a community that needs financial help, that is poor, that doesn't have food, doesn't have water, do you think that it will not change the rest of the world?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It will affect everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So to me, being kind is really being kind to others, is being kind to yourself. I mean, you described it as, okay, when you need help, right? Someone can help you. We, you know, I just look at it that way, that I am helping myself when I'm helping someone else, but not that I'm waiting for a payback. It's like,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> In our own house, if someone is in a bad mood and someone is crying and someone upset is upset, it affects the whole home. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> All right. It's the same thing outside of the home. It's the same thing in our society. So that is why kindness is important. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Uh, , it's amazing. 60,000 people to try and come up with some conclusions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But honestly, it's pretty simple. I think we'd all much rather live in a world where everyone is kind than a world where everyone is not kind. And even if that's a world where we just try and help, everybody wants to live in a world where everybody's trying to help them, and that makes it easier for us to try and help everyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you have more energy. If you're constantly feeling like everything is, "you're on your own kid." , as we hear all the time growing up in the United States, "pull yourself by your bootstraps." "You're on your own kid" at 18, you're out. When we hear all that stuff, it is, it is exhausting to do everything yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And the honest truth is there's no way we would survive doing everything ourselves. Do you know how to invent electricity? What if we lost the art of knowing how to produce electricity or the, I remember in school I learned that we lost the art of making glass. It was lost in some eruption. I learned this in like third grade or something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It just stayed like</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> this must have been way, way, way back when.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. We had to relearn how to make glass, but like, do you know how to make glass? Like do you have the ability right now? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh no. It has something to do with heating sand. But that's about all I know. All right. Like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> like look at all the things that are, that we take for granted that makes our lives comfortable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't know how to do a hundred percent of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I can make a great meal. I don't know how to grow anything. I've tried. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, making a great meal is part of it. It's not a hundred percent of nothing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I wouldn't know how to grow a carrot. I try to grow a carrot and all the other animals come and get it before I get it. Like, you know what I'm saying? That it doesn't even have a chance to grow, cuz.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't know how to grow it. , as we all know, years and years of trying to grow things out in, out in nature. And that's what I'm saying. We are so, uh, not indebted, what's the word, Matt? We are so in it together that we we're so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> interconnected. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We are, yeah, that's the word I use, but there's another word we're we are dependent on another.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That's a terrible word.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> know it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We are dependent on one another. We need each other and we are helping each other out for the most part. For the most part, I think beautifully. And I think there come some leaders that see that and they try to disrupt that chain. They disrupt that connection. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Thrash the connection, as it were, for, for their own gain, be it short term or long term, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you know? Well, like I said, hurt, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> people hurt sometimes, but sometimes there's good business in separating people. Sadly, like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I said, that takes us back to a couple episodes, right? We're talking about the elements. You can't put fire and water together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They're enemies. But, um, I, I'm just gonna jump ahead to what I saw on your list. Oh, dear. Okay, so there's one day, I think this is going back to, we need to relearn the art of kindness because it's not just about performing certain acts that you feel like you're indebted by. Like, it's not about obligation, it is about kindness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's not about obligation. So it's about making someone's life better. And if you think about it, kindness should be thought of in business because no matter what kind of business you're in, if a lawyer or a dentist or a shoemaker, it doesn't matter. You're there to make someone's life easier. And I think we forget that you're there to improve someone's life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That's all business is about. And I think we should do a whole series on kindness in business. But it's not that you're indebted by this act of kindness. It's not that you're, it shouldn't be about obligation. I remember, had just given birth to Allegra, and so it was our second and this neighbor who had just moved in a few months before. She felt obliged to bring over food. Now, if you knew me, you knew that with a previous pregnancy, I, I had, we almost died. Both the baby, our baby, and me and I died almost. And you know, my, and also in the midst of this, my C-section ripped open, got infected.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> The doctors didn't care. They were like, okay, you're checking out and you were trying to convince them she needs help and they weren't hearing it. So it was horrible and it took me a year and a half to recuperate from that C-section. And so despite not being able to move, I needed the house a certain way for me to feel comfortable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I'm a neat freak, but I needed the house to be clean. And we lived in the forest. So if you were out there with shoes, you can't come into our house with shoes because you're tracking in mud and dirt twigs, all this stuff, right? And at that point, you know, we had little L crawling all over the place and I didn't have the ability to clean up to make sure that she would be okay if she crawled around and like picked stuff up off the outside that was inside our home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So it was very important for me to relax being again in bed after another C-section. Please when you come into our home, take off your shoes. So the neighbor brought food over and I could hear from, from the bedroom. She had her boots on and she just was like walking in our place with her boots. And I tried to, in the most gentle way, say, please, can you take your shoes off shoes?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And at this point I had like, I, I, I tried to scoot over like, and so I could see her, but she didn't know that I was moving. She thought I was still in bed, and I looked at her face and she had the most horrible look on her face. Like she was rolling her eyes and like mouthing all kinds of profanity because I had told her to please take off her shoes because she felt obligated to bring something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> First of all, I don't need your, you know, I don't need your food. Like, she did it for o for other reasons, for other selfish reasons. So it wasn't a kind act, and it certainly wasn't a kind act to, to, to be. So, um, what's the word when you're, um,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it, it's like I made her go out of her way. It was inconvenient for her. Do you know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah, absolutely. To just slip off your boots for a second and just, just put the food down like on the bench. Right. But instead, you know, she doesn't think about doing something good all the way around.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> She, you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. , she had her own reasons or her own rules for what is kind. She wasn't really truly thinking of what is actually helping me. It was actually hurting me. A, we're vegan, so we don't even eat that stuff. B, you're bringing in stuff from the outside with your shoes. You know, there's a little happy little sign outside that's like, please remove your shoes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Please remove your shoes. But anyway, there are ways I think we all need to relearn the art of kindness. Like going back to, I saw something on your list. I'm sorry. I know I'm talking so much, but like, this is, this is a heated, this is a heated issue for me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Kindness is a heated issue?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, it is. Because I feel like, again, people feel like it's an obligation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. And when you go there, it's not, it's not kind. So, alright. Years and years ago you had a terrible boss. Oh yeah, I think it took us a while to understand his behavior he lacked a lot of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> empathy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He lacked, social cues. Um, we didn't know that about him. We just, he just was not a nice person. He had difficulty communicating, but I didn't know that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Anyway, so we lived in Santa Monica and parking in Santa Monica is absurd, or I don't know if it's changed since we left, but sometimes it would take an hour and a half to find a parking spot to go into your apartment </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and it would be three blocks away. Mm-hmm. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And so like, you know, if you have to go to the bathroom or , if you're carrying heavy, heavy things, good luck.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> If you're late for something, good luck it. It could take you an hour and a half to find a place to park, to go to your own home. Anyway, so this one day I had just come back from grocery shopping and I had an obscene amount of bags on me and they were all heavy, like so heavy. And I was trying to rush and I was trying to make it to the door, and he's standing there on the corner and he's just looking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He's like, you need some help. And I remember I got so offended by that because on your list, I think you wrote, you should ask people if they need help. I don't think you should say you need some help when obviously someone is obviously, struggling or in pain or something. You don't say you need some help.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You say, oh my God, look at those bags, please, will you let me take some bags from you?. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But that is indeed also asking for help or that's indeed making sure it's okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But that's what I'm trying to tell you is there's a subtle art to it. Yes. You need some help. It's like, are you insane? It's like if someone is bleeding, you need some help.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Duh. No, you, you state the obvious. This is the art. This is the difference. You're standing there without a care in the world. You, you don't have any bags on you. Your hands are free. The wind is, is blowing in your hair and you're all light and carefree and you're looking at someone that you know who's carrying 18 bags and you're like, you need some help.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's like, that makes me wanna slap that person. But if you say, oh my God, FAWN!. Can I take some of those bags? Please? Can I help you? It's, do you understand the difference? Yeah, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> is absolutely a big </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> difference. That's how you should approach it, right? From my mind. Right? So what did I tell him? I got mad and I said, "no! Thanks anyway." I was sarcastic because he felt to me sarcastic, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So anyway, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> so in many ways it's very similar to a good for you , sadly. What do you mean? Well, it, I believe he actually just heard you say No, thanks. Yeah. For, you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> thanks anyways, unfor. No, but if you had seen my face, I'm sure I did not look pleased. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> again, looking at, um, social cues tricky </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> again. He didn't, yeah, he probably didn't understand it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But you know what? You're a grown man in your mid 30. You should have known, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you should have picked up something. But anyways, uh, but again, that's one of those tricky things because, one of the places that kindness as it turns out is least valued, is online, which is a place where you don't get to see the social cues and you don't get to see the facial expressions, and you don't get to understand the tone and the tense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> which means kindness does not run rampant online. Meanness </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> does, sadly. Well, yeah. Again, you can't sense a smile, right? Because you can't, you're not in unless you're very psychically, um, meta, physically attuned to things. You can't sense what's happening. You needs to be around the person, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and that's why you need to be bold in, you're contacting people on messengers and</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> stuff and make sure you send an emoji. I, I've always considered emoji's, never a lie. So I always try and send a smiley emoji just in case somebody wants to misinterpret what I send to them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And again, I think it's the lack of the usage of certain words or a link of words. Do you need help? Or (instead saying) I see that you are experiencing this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Can I do this for you? Is different. I think even if it's online, if you use more words and more adjectives, then there will not be a misunderstanding. And then you will know the tone and you don't even have to use an emoji. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You're right, you're right. I, I think I use an emoji as a shortcut. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think that's the problem; that we feel like everything needs a shortcut. And the more shortcuts we take, the uglier things are. Like, I never wanna take a shortcut when we drive somewhere. I always wanna go the prettiest route. The ugliest route will actually take me longer because in my mind and in the way I think I'm there and it's ugly and it lasts longer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Do you know what I'm saying? Squarely outside. Matt, you're just like, can we get back to the topic? Matt saw a squirrel. Everybody. He's still there. Okay. . He's perched. News. Flash breaking news. Matt sees a squirrel. outside. Can we get back to the topic? Okay, so that's online. What else do you have to say?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Be brave. Be bold. Yeah, we already said that. Don't be afraid you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You know what? Take your time. No, seriously. You know, I work with , I work with some fun people from very different areas of the country. And actually, um, so one of my coworkers actually just took a slight, little, little like dink at me and he was like, yeah, I'm about to being stubborn, so he doesn't wanna do this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And after the call was over, he messaged me and he's like, I didn't mean stubborn, or we're cool, right? And I sent him back a little laugh emoji, but I didn't take the time to say We're cool. So then he invented a situation where we talked on the phone and then he, he, he mentioned it again cuz he is, he doesn't appear to be incredibly kind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> He certainly doesn't appear to be gentle, but he is, and he just wanted to make sure we were okay. It was very cute. See, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> that's a good person right there. Exactly. Okay. All right. You were saying something about. People are kinder to puppies rather than to students.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> my goodness. Yeah. One of the, one of the studies they did was messed up. They concocted the story where, , this entity, this named entity goes through some hardship and battles through it. Right? And as it turns out, people were more likely to be empathetic towards a three year old, a puppy, and a dog, than somebody who was a college student. And the story was something like, uh, Caitlin, uh, injured their leg and they had to have pins put in it and a big, long cast that went all the way to their hip, and they fell down, but they got up and they kept struggling. People were more likely to be empathetic when they found out that caitlin was a, uh, was a puppy or a dog, or a three </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> year old. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I think that comes because we have so many stories that we hear, and so you develop a certain prejudice. Like if you say college student, I mean, I immediately think entitled I do, I know, you know, obviously this person is like in college, they have a free, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> would you feel better if they were just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:47]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> 19 years?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No, because I would still feel like, because in our </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> culture, especially there's this story that goes around saying, this group of people behave this way and this group of people over here, they act this way, this group of people. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like it's like, We're told so many stories in such an advertising kind of fashion where we start hating each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We start hating different groups, and we think those groups are always like religious groups or you know, like racial issues. But really there's so many isms out there. There's ageism, there's racism. Every group is portrayed a certain way. I think it's controlling how we behave towards one another.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I think when you think of college student, you're thinking of a brat who has, you know, they're in college, but they're partying, they're irresponsible. Like you hear these stories all the time. They're in fraternities or sororities and they just party all the time. They go to parties. They have a very rich</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> life that is, what's the word for it? That that is very, entitled, um, selfish. Right? They're not altruistic. Right. And they're not there to just study. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I totally get why you come at it from that direction, but I think the key is, is not that people weren't empathetic towards a college student's plight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They were just more empathetic towards something cute when </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> they found</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> cuteness cuteness works and also </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> cute and harmless because there were, there were puppies, right? they were more empathetic towards something that doesn't cause </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> trouble.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Something that doesn't cause trouble, or something that they could more easily and quickly identify well with, because that's the other thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> People are much more likely to be kind to people who are just like, and just like us is a tricky thing because if I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> now, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> uh, those people that were saying that, that they were more empathetic towards a puppy. Mm-hmm. , I bet you those people were not parents of kids who are in university. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right, exactly. But how many people have, are either a person at university or have people at the university versus how many people could feel.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> How many people have ever like taken care of a three year old or a puppy or a dog or pet? A dog, basically, there's a lot more connection there. But yes, cuteness, boom. And also the other thing that we're just not gonna gloss, I'm not gonna let us gloss over, is we're kinder to people who are just like us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> One thing that they noticed was with regard. The, uh, invasion of Ukraine is all of a sudden people in Europe were giving more money to Ukraine than they were giving to Syria than they were giving to. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> This is not news to me, honey. Well, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> know it's not news. The first thing I noticed, this is not news to you, but this might be news to people here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hmm. It is interesting to note by the way, that that was very much called out in England as being No, but England kind of gives the same all around because they have distance from all of, from, I guess from Ukraine as well as Syria. So you know they have the same amount of empathy across the board. No, but people in Europe itself, Europe proper itself ended up giving more money to Ukraine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't wanna get into this because I'm, this is very heated for me. Mm-hmm. , I immediately noticed, oh, you're gonna help out people who have blue eyes and blonde hair, and fair of skin. But you saw people losing their babies trying to cross over a border, and you kicked them and you humiliated them and you told them to go back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You treated them worse than you would treat a, a, a piece of trash on the ground. . If someone is light colored, fair skinned, then you're like, oh, please come. I have food for you. I notice that immediately, so I don't wanna go there, but yeah, yeah. People who look like you. But see, most people think that way. I don't, because I am usually the person that I don't look like and I get treated a certain way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> My treatment of others is not the same as how you or most people in our society, our culture behave. So you can't say, we don't put me in there . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I was speaking metaphorically about the the we as nation states or whatever you want to call it. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> The European and North American states. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Uncomfortable. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah, it does. It makes it kind of hard for me to go on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Okay. Let's just skip to another, well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> no, because I wanna keep, so how do we, how do we make people feel? Or be more like us to help build the kindness, to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> build the empathy. Why should they, why? Why so egotistical to be like, you have to be like me, for me to feel anything for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think that's one thing we should look at right there. Why no, no. . Why do you feel like things need to be catered for you, for you to help them? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I don't. Unfortunately, you saying </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it personally. You said we so I'm you. I know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> unfortunately, yeah, unfortunately, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think that's what needs to be looked at. Why do things need to, why do situations and people need to look a certain way for you to have empathy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> it's an evolutionary thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think that, uh, no, I think that's an excuse thing. Well, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> is. And there's also kin bias that we could get into. I don't, I'm not a big fan </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> of kin bias, but we're all, all kin, we're all, I dunno what kin bias is, but we're all kin, we're all, we just said at the beginning of the show, we are interlaced.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> right. And one of the ways that we can make ourselves, make ourselves more like others is strictly through contact and communication. Well done. Well, okay, fine. But that's what sometimes studies with. Tens of thousands of people. Again, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> these kind of shine a light on in some entitled university who have nothing better to do, but to sip on some tea or like have some Dang, have a drink.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No, I'm serious. Are they really out there? No. It's nice to be in your cushy chair coming up with these, uh, what do you call them, these surveys? Questionnaire surveys. Yeah. Gimme a break. Anyway, toss that out, man. Let's just bring it back to basics , and let's wrap this up. I can't, I can't,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> be kind. Don't look for something </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> to look like here. Be kind. Be bold. Don't expect a lot back, and I think it'd be pleasantly surprised. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I just think we all need to look at what the stories are. What are the tribal stories that we have inherited? We can inherit it from the tv, from social media, we can inherit it from people walking down the street and having a conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What stories have we accepted about other people? It's ridiculous, like I think to get back to kindness and start the road of the art of kindness. I think we have to understand all these things that are going around our heads, our preconceived notions, our whatever thoughts that are there, I think we need to start questioning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Where did that come from? Is that mine?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yes. And if I don't, if I don't think something is cute, why? If you don't think something is cute, why? Yeah. When you look at, at an Ugly Baby or , a little Winston Churchill? No, I'm just trying to think of like why people, I'm saying ugly baby, in that you always brought up the, um, the thing that babies look like</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> the father, if the father is not attached to the baby. The baby will start looking like the father. So the father develops an emotional, like animalistic, like, I gotta take care of this thing cuz it looks like me. It was some, something that was like a psychological thing that was looked at. Mm-hmm. , right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That the baby starts mimicking the person that's not interested, so the person will bond with them. Right. So what I'm saying, When you look at something and you don't think it's attractive, ask yourself, why am I thinking it's not attractive? Or if you're looking at something or someone with indifference or even hate, what is it that you're hating?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Where's that coming from? If you're feeling annoyed, hello me today, where's that annoyance really coming from? Don't always point it at the other person. It's most likely coming from you? Most likely it is a thought that we have in our own selves it's a dialogue that's been happening within ourselves that's creating annoyance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That's it. Okay. Sounds good. I mean, I think I totally side, side railed what you were saying today, Matt, so you wanna just go through your list please. You did all this research, you were so proud and I totally poo-pooed it. I'm so sorry. Can you just like quickly go through your list and we can say goodbye</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. Like the big takeaways? Yeah. Just give us your big takeaways. Okay. So the top five types of kindness from five to one. I have concerned feelings for people less fortunate than myself. That's kindness. That's how people chose to define kindness. Number four, I help strangers pick things up. Uh, number three, I open doors to let people through because that's one of those, I think casually accepted ways to be kind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Number two. Ooh, this one's the syntax. Wait, I thought that was number two. No, that was number three. Okay. Number two, and challenging syntax. I don't mind doing favors for friends. And number one is I help when I'm asked </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> These are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> the top five types of kindness that people experience.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> okay. Yeah. All right. What else did you learn?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That top five places of kindness. Number one, surprise, surprise is the home. Number two is medical. Thank God that people are kind to medical stuff. Number three is work. Number four is, they call it green spots or parks or open fields. And number five is the shops. But keep in mind, this is Britain. So this is Britain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, I have so much to say about every single one of those like. Um, I used to think we had a lot of friends on Bainbridge Island, but it turns out all of our friends worked at the grocery store and they were held captive cuz they had to be nice to us. Right. And we thought they were our friends. They were friendly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They were friendly. We even saw them outside of work, but they weren't really our friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Point. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So, yeah, that's kind of like social media. You think you have followers, you think you have friends, but it's really the circumstances that make you feel like you have friendship and you're not really working hard and it's not reciprocated in a true source of friendship the way it should be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. Um, green space. Yeah. Nature teaches us everything, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> and I think it also gives us more opportunities to interact on a different level </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> than we normally do. When you go back to nature, you go back to the way things are naturally right, and you behave better because you feel better. That is true. So, you know, I mean, this is a heated topic, but a.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Neighborhoods that are experiencing suffering don't have trees in the neighborhood. True. It's like concrete, but um, so that's what these college people, university people came up with? Yes. That list? Yes. All right guys, we don't need this. We have our own spiritual selves. We have our hearts and our psych.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We know all this. We don't. This is ridiculous that we have to turn to like some university. Man, this is so stupid. Whack. Well, um, no, it's not. Nothing against you, honey. I'm just saying like, you know, there are people out there with PhDs, there are people out there who are wildly popular, who have like best selling books out there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But like, you know, we're, we're saying the truth, but, you know, whatever, you know. Just, we should be listening to each other. We all have the truth and we know how, how it is to be kind. You can smell something natural and you can smell something synthetic. When you're in nature, you know what it feels like to be embraced by nature, and I think our nature is to be kind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Anyway, that's it. Sounds. Well, alright. Let us know what you think. As usual, go to our friendly world podcast.com. Please reach out to us. I know you're walking around. I know you're jogging. I know you're busy. When you have a chance, please tell other people about the podcast. Let's get this movement really going again and bring back the art of friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And we, with that, we can change the world, everybody. It's simple. It's not hard and doesn't take time. Instant. All right. Love you guys. Be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> bold and be well. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week we go over the top 5 types of kindness and the top 5 places kindness can be displayed. It's said that one of the reasons why people stop and aren't kind is because kindness takes time (either they have no time or they perceive that they have no time). We think that kindness does not take time. Kindness has many ways. One way could be in the way you look at someone. Smiling, for example, has an art to it (the art of smiling is a thing that Fawn talks about all the time). We can all absolutely feel and see people smile. We can sense a genuine smile. When we are being completely in the moment, even if we're rushed, allows for some gentleness to occur for ourselves (within our little bubble). That feeling ripples out. That's a form of kindness.Matt shows how kindness is interpreted; how people see expressions of kindness, through a study that was done in the UK by the University of Sussex. As Fawn and Matt discuss how people view kindness and add to it the perception of how time and opportunity as well as preconceived ideas play a role in kindness, Fawn makes the point that we all have our talents, that we all have our ways to provide kindness, and argues that there should not be a blanket way to be kind; that there are many, many infinite possibilities where kindness can show itself. We should never ever underestimate the power of a genuine smile. It's a brave act to be kind, because yes if you are expected kindness to be understood and reciprocated immediately, you may get your feelings hurt. Being kind should be like lending someone money. Don't lend someone money and expect to get it back. If you lend it, just give it with the expectation that you'll never see it again. You're not being kind to get something in response. You're being kind to help somebody. When someone is hurting, they may lash out at you. They're in so much pain and that pain is just ricocheting off everywhere. And you may get hit by it. You have to kind of expect that and not let that injure you and keep going with your kindness and do your good deed.So why bother being kind? Why not just concentrate on me in mine? Humanity is one body. When one person is in pain, we all feel the pain. And if that person is ignored (their pain is ignored, their pain will spread out to the rest of society. So being kind is really being kind to others, is being kind to yourself. In our own house, if someone is in a bad mood and someone is crying and someone's upset, it affects the whole home. It's the same thing outside of the home. It's the same thing in our society. So that is why kindness is important. It's pretty simple. 
We'd all much rather live in a world where everyone is kind than a world where everyone is not kind. And even if that's a world where we just try and help, everybody wants to live in a world where everybody's trying to help them, and that makes it easier for us to try and help everyone. This results in us having more energy. If you're constantly feeling like everything is, "you're on your own kid" as we hear all the time growing up in the United States, "pull yourself by your bootstraps." "You're on your own kid" at 18, you're out. When we hear all that stuff, it is disheartening. It is impossible and exhausting to do everything ourselves.The honest truth is there's no way we...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:50:50</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[It's Elementary]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Nov 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1326773</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/it39s-elementary</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">We can think of each person and ourselves as a different kind of element (earth, fire, water, air and space), and explore how these elements work together. Some elements love each other; they support and nurture each other while some elements like fire and water are enemies; destroy each other and they need to remain separate. What does all this mean in accordance to our relationships? How can we coexist? What is the right balance to have (because we all have each and all of the elements within us) in order to have a beautiful friendship? Keep in mind that IMBALANCE is necessary also.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">If you think about walking, You couldn't walk if you were not imbalanced. If you were always balanced, you would not be able to walk because you would be so centered the whole time. The fact that you have to take one step and put all your weight onto another leg. To go to that next step is a free fall if you think about it. And it requires imbalance. You have to have faith that you are going to transition through that imbalance and wind up in a steady spot. These are the things to keep in mind in the art of friendship.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><em><span style="font-size:small;">Enjoy this episode and tell others about our podcast, subscribe, and leave us a kind review. AND keep friendship alive. Get a free copy of our book by clicking here:</span></em></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> </span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>It's Elementary - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">When </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I went to the hardware store, Yeah, when I went, when I went to the hardware store, when I went to Home Depot, I had a culture, not a culture shock. I don't know what to call it. It wasn't a shock, but a, when you go to different areas and you don't realize how different you are, and then all of a sudden you experience a shift in culture? Mm-hmm. ? Yes. That happened to me at the store , and then it happened after the store also, like I was talking to our neighbor, Kathy, and she started laughing at one word I said, and the conversation continued, but she definitely laughed at me saying, our friend's name Barry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And she's like, What? I'm like Barry. She's like Barry and, And she was laughing about how I said strawberry or blueberry and then she corrected it quickly, like it happened in a span of like two seconds. Wait, how did she correct it? She said Barry, again, I don't know. Cause I'm experiencing culture shock, like aari or something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Berry. Berry. This is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> like when you try and correct me with your fluent french. </span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[We can think of each person and ourselves as a different kind of element (earth, fire, water, air and space), and explore how these elements work together. Some elements love each other; they support and nurture each other while some elements like fire and water are enemies; destroy each other and they need to remain separate. What does all this mean in accordance to our relationships? How can we coexist? What is the right balance to have (because we all have each and all of the elements within us) in order to have a beautiful friendship? Keep in mind that IMBALANCE is necessary also.
If you think about walking, You couldn't walk if you were not imbalanced. If you were always balanced, you would not be able to walk because you would be so centered the whole time. The fact that you have to take one step and put all your weight onto another leg. To go to that next step is a free fall if you think about it. And it requires imbalance. You have to have faith that you are going to transition through that imbalance and wind up in a steady spot. These are the things to keep in mind in the art of friendship.
Enjoy this episode and tell others about our podcast, subscribe, and leave us a kind review. AND keep friendship alive. Get a free copy of our book by clicking here:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ 
It's Elementary - TRANSCRIPT
 When 
[00:00:00] FAWN: I went to the hardware store, Yeah, when I went, when I went to the hardware store, when I went to Home Depot, I had a culture, not a culture shock. I don't know what to call it. It wasn't a shock, but a, when you go to different areas and you don't realize how different you are, and then all of a sudden you experience a shift in culture? Mm-hmm. ? Yes. That happened to me at the store , and then it happened after the store also, like I was talking to our neighbor, Kathy, and she started laughing at one word I said, and the conversation continued, but she definitely laughed at me saying, our friend's name Barry.
[00:00:44] FAWN: And she's like, What? I'm like Barry. She's like Barry and, And she was laughing about how I said strawberry or blueberry and then she corrected it quickly, like it happened in a span of like two seconds. Wait, how did she correct it? She said Barry, again, I don't know. Cause I'm experiencing culture shock, like aari or something.
[00:01:05] FAWN: Berry. Berry. This is 
[00:01:07] MATT: like when you try and correct me with your fluent french. 
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                    <![CDATA[It's Elementary]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">We can think of each person and ourselves as a different kind of element (earth, fire, water, air and space), and explore how these elements work together. Some elements love each other; they support and nurture each other while some elements like fire and water are enemies; destroy each other and they need to remain separate. What does all this mean in accordance to our relationships? How can we coexist? What is the right balance to have (because we all have each and all of the elements within us) in order to have a beautiful friendship? Keep in mind that IMBALANCE is necessary also.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">If you think about walking, You couldn't walk if you were not imbalanced. If you were always balanced, you would not be able to walk because you would be so centered the whole time. The fact that you have to take one step and put all your weight onto another leg. To go to that next step is a free fall if you think about it. And it requires imbalance. You have to have faith that you are going to transition through that imbalance and wind up in a steady spot. These are the things to keep in mind in the art of friendship.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><em><span style="font-size:small;">Enjoy this episode and tell others about our podcast, subscribe, and leave us a kind review. AND keep friendship alive. Get a free copy of our book by clicking here:</span></em></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> </span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>It's Elementary - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">When </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I went to the hardware store, Yeah, when I went, when I went to the hardware store, when I went to Home Depot, I had a culture, not a culture shock. I don't know what to call it. It wasn't a shock, but a, when you go to different areas and you don't realize how different you are, and then all of a sudden you experience a shift in culture? Mm-hmm. ? Yes. That happened to me at the store , and then it happened after the store also, like I was talking to our neighbor, Kathy, and she started laughing at one word I said, and the conversation continued, but she definitely laughed at me saying, our friend's name Barry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And she's like, What? I'm like Barry. She's like Barry and, And she was laughing about how I said strawberry or blueberry and then she corrected it quickly, like it happened in a span of like two seconds. Wait, how did she correct it? She said Barry, again, I don't know. Cause I'm experiencing culture shock, like aari or something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Berry. Berry. This is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> like when you try and correct me with your fluent french. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Stop it. So anyway, but I was at the hardware store and they were talking really fast and I couldn't understand what was happening. There was a thick accent happening because of this area of the country we live in. They speak faster depending on where you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Anyway, I couldn't understand and then, oh dear. So that led to, And my accent, which I didn't really realize I had to thicken also. Oh dear. So I was like, um, I, I, I don't understand, like, I have this like , um, um, I don't know, like that kind of Los Angeles Valley girl. Um, I, I don't know. I don't know if it's a vocal fry, whatever it is, you know, it's, It's that LA like Santa Monica accent comes out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. I'm not really that aware of a, but I suppose you wouldn't be of your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> own. I mean, I just stepped outta my body and I'm like, and I was listening to myself going, um, I, I don't understand. What, what did you say? Like, . Do you know what I'm like? I don't. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Um, was it just that they were talking too fast </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> or, No, there was a definite, like, Eastern accent and it was very fast. It didn't have, um, like I emphasized different parts of my sentences.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It was all monotone and quick, and the guy had no patience for me. Wow. And which I understand. And, you know, he couldn't be bothered, like, like he just wanted the answer. To his question, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. Anyway, I had to have a translator. So his, his , his work buddy, had to translate for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. Um, anyway, culture, culture differences. Like, we don't realize like a Allegra the other day are, I overheard her say she was talking to herself, but she's like, I gotta get rid of my Colorado accent. I'm like, What? There's a ca And I started to think about all the places we have lived that I've lived. Even before meeting you Matt, but like there was definitely an accent in Minnesota.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> There was a definite different accent in Washington state, like Seattle really? But yeah, I wanna say just for a few words, but not all the time. But I don't know. See, I don't know now because I thought when I said Barry Barry's okay. Like, but apparently that was funny to Kathy. Well, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> is interesting because it's strawberry is b e r r y.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But yet his name is b a r r y. There must be a different pronunciation, but I've never heard it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> differently. See, I think we're just from California, but I don't know if we're not hearing it right. Yeah, I don't think we are. I think because we think we're the center of the universe, being from Los Angeles, that we don't realize that we could be wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like we're experiencing, this new area of the country we're living in. And it is totally. There are things and ways of living here that are not done on the West Coast. Right? It is totally different here. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> No arguments </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> there. It is. It is amazing. It is amazing. Here I am thinking, oh, whatever, You know, America is America like</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I mean, the only cultural difference, that was always pointed out to me, If you're from the south, you definitely have that southern accent and the southern hospitality that they're known for. And the fried food, you know, the food, the cuisine. Um, I don't know, I think a lot </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> of people take certain objections to that, but I know by the same token I'm working with a whole bunch of people from Virginia and yeah, it does require me to do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> a little shift, I think.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I think we're quite ignorant being from Los Angeles. Yes. Seriously, we think that everything revolves around us. Like we're the right way to be, we're the right way to speak. We're we're it y'all. Y'all are different. Well, but that's you. But this is the way to be. Like everything revolves around Los Angeles.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> When I, when I were a lad, companies sent me to England and I swear to goodness, every single time I talked to anybody, I would have to have them repeat what they said. I swear </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> that that totally happened to us too, and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> yet they seem to understand me just fine. I know. It's a bizarre thing. I, I, I don't really have a good explana.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> The explanation I came up with at the time was all movies come from Hollywood. Cause definitely. Okay. Yes. 90% </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> the movie movies come from Hollywood. Back then, it was definitely true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So they're already quote unquote indoctrinated to understand if they wanna watch Star Wars or whatever. So, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I mean, even now, getting into the voiceover field, everything revolves around Los Angeles definitely the United States like having the American accent and all the big jobs come out of the American agencies and stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It's. Very American centric and definitely LA centric. Anyway, this has nothing to do with what we're talking about today, . Okay then, But Matt, I know what you mean. Same thing happened too. I say us because I went with a huge group of college students and we lived in England for a couple years, and oh my God, the first day, the first week.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Thank God we were there with friends because we would get together for breaks in between classes and we would share stories like, cuz we all would get lost. We had to walk to school and you couldn't figure out where things were. So you would ask for directions, right? And oh my God, it would take five minutes to have whoever you asked, explain where you're going, And I couldn't understand a word they were saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> once again, I'm like, um, excuse me. What? And then you would ask the next person, it was the same thing. And it, and not only was the accent a problem, like I couldn't understand what they were saying. It was that the way they told you something, the way that they said, this is how you get to this place, we're used to saying to someone, Oh, when you get to this street turn, Go for a block, you'll see the street turn right and it'll be on your left hand side.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Simple to us, right? But no, it was a whole story about when this place was built and it looks like this. And, and so and so walked past here and you'll see this, but that's not what you're looking for. You wanna go. It was this long, drawn story. It wasn't Simple directions. Right. And then other things way back then I didn't know, cuz I was a kid and it was a long time ago, was, I didn't know what a roundabout was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah, it is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> kind of a weird, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> interesting thing. What? What's a roundabout? You know, the little things like that. Anyway, this has nothing to do with what we're talking about today. Okay. Then I just wanted to say, Once you feel like, Oh, I'm finally blending in. Something comes across your way like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like, Oh man, I sound different, you know? Or I don't understand something. Right. Anyway, today I was thinking about something because I read an article in The Yoga Journal. It's this article called "Using the Five Elements to Purify Our Being". So they go through the five elements. I found this article because I'm doing some research for a children's picture book that I'm writing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So it got me thinking, first of all, I was only thinking of four elements, which is. It's earth, air, fire, and water. Yeah. And the fifth one is space. Thinking about that and what it means to our relationships. Here's what it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They're called states of matter. The person who wrote this article was Swami Shankardev Saraswati PHD. He's a psychologist, he's a doctor, he's a yogi, he's a swami. So this is what he was saying is that each of the five elements represents a state of matter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Earth is not just soil, but it is everything in nature that is solid. Like water is everything that is liquid. So everything that is liquid is water, air is everything that is a gas. So like all gas is, air, water is everything that is liquid. Yes, I'm sorry. Air is everything. That is a gas. But then what about fire and space?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He said fire is that part of nature that transforms one state of matter into another. So for example, fire transforms the solid state of water, which is ice into liquid water. And then, The gas form, which is steam, withdrawing water, taking the water away, recreates the solid state. so he's talking about all these different states and I found it very interesting because first of all, I started to think that if we can think of each person as a different kind of element, How do those elements work together?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So I'm thinking the relationships that these elements have, is it in sync with how our relationships work? He said: "Each element has a relationship with the others based on their nature. These relationships form the laws of nature. Some elements are enemies in that they each block the expression of the other.".</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Which is interesting, like think about it like two people. Fire and water, for example, will destroy each other if they get the chance to. Um, in order to coexist, fire and water need to be separated. , Hold on a second. Hold on. I know kind of like makes you think of when you're in school, right? They separate you and then he said some elements, , love each other. In that they support and nurture each other. For example, earth and water, love to, He describes it as a hug that earth and water hug each other and air and fire increase each other. And I'm thinking, huh? Yeah. Certain friends, like you get together with certain people. you make each other stronger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And then he. This is, these are his words. He goes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> "other elements are simply friendly and cooperative. For example, water and air live together without problems as in soda water, but when the chance occurs, they separate. The same happens with fire and earth. So even when they're friends, they can separate when they have the chance, they separate, like, they're like, Okay, I, we get along well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We make great soda water, but you know what? I need my time alone and I wanna go over here and be by myself. Do you know what I'm saying? Okay. So Matt is, Matt is shaking his head, obviously in disagreements with all this, I. I think there's something here that we should explore. I think there's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> something here, but I think he's, It's a flawed model.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> What? Why? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, okay, so he's, he's basically taking a look at kind of basic science from a, kind of a Greek hierarchy of just trying to categorize things. And it's a convenient way to categorize things. I mean, the game magic, the gathering has green, blue. You know, blah, blah, blah, magic, um, avatar, the last air bender had all these different fires, blah, blah, blah, pulling the elements together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But what you're really, what he's really kind of getting circling around and when I think all these properties circle around are the states of matter, which is most easily understood with water. So water is either a liquid or it's a solid cuz it's ice or it's a gas because it's steam. And to do that, you have to apply energy, which is how he's choosing to categorize fire.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And there's actually even a fourth state of matter, I want to say. And I remember hearing it and I still am bizarre about it, but there's a fourth state of matter where you get steam even hotter. It turns into plasma or something, which isn't blood. It's something else. I don't know. I was terrible at natural sciences.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I'm only good at applied sciences. But anyways, I. I don't like the way he's, he's categorizing these things. I don't understand why I, I'd almost be happier if he would've said fall versus spring versus summer versus winter. What? Because fire and air don't coexist. Fire and air. St. Fire needs earth Fire needs something to consume in order to do anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:20]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Again, it's, it's, it's a clumsy analogy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> frankly. No, it's not. Maybe I'm being clumsy describing what I read, but if you think about it, we all have all of these elements within us. We're all made up of all these elements, right? We have all of that together, but yet there are personalities that don't get along, and that's true fiery people that don't get along with watery people because they go at war and they destroy each.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They don't get along. They need to be separated. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It, it just feels like you're trying to shoehorn that analogy into this, into this guy's analogy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No, this is how I, this I, this is how I think. And I don't understand why you would say, Oh, we gotta, It's better to describe the seasons with it. You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> know, It's just pick a different, I, I don't like his analogy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And what does space have to do with it? What is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> space? Space Is that spiritual like high? Hmm. Level of being where you transcend all that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So I just wanna be a space person then, cuz I wanna transcend it all. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Isn't that you would be that kind of person, but who is that kind of person? We all are, we're all made out of spirit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We're all made out of energy. But there are some people that rise above it. They're not firey, they're not gonna get down in the dirt with you. They're, they rise above things. I'm just talking personality. Look, this is something I'm exploring. I, I, the thought came into my head, there are these five elements, and some of them are friendly with one another and some of them are not.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Some of them are downright enemies. It's interesting that everything that happens in life happens on a molecular level. So in a way it's kind of the same thing. So our relationships are happening, are coexisting just like they are in science. If we look at these common elements, these five common elements, and bring it down to the common relationships that exist, the different common personality types, I think it's something to look at.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Can water and fire coexist? I always say, the earth is a small town and everyone is your friend. However, you're not meant to be friends with everyone. For example, I'm all about family, but I had to cut my family off. It wasn't good for me or our children to be around what I grew up in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That relationship needed to end. It was abusive, it was not ok. I've made certain friends out there that I no longer talk to because it got toxic fire and water. We all have all of that within us, but it doesn't mean that we all need to coexist together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But it's something interesting to look at, to see how we can work together. Just looking at things objectivley, saying, Okay, this person is pure fire and I'm water, and unless I wanna devote all my energy to dissipating, then I need to go somewhere else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay, let's, let's try and bring this back to center. Let's try and find a balance to this, and let's go back to the actual real, I think, description of the article, the title of the article, which was using the five elements to purify Your Being. See, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> why do you get, why don't, don't get so bogged down with what I said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I said I was researching for the picture book and I was just wanting to give credit to where I got my train of thought. Why are you so stuck on the exact title of of that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> article? Because it helps me focus because I gotta stop focusing on a person being fire or a person being water. A person is a person, A person is multifaceted and they're allowed to transition between states very quickly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Excuse </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> me. Isn't that what I said? I said we all have that in us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. Tap. So I could categorize it not being you. I could categorize it as when you were going to the place at the beginning, the initial story that you told. Maybe you were feeling very airy and very </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> light and airy. Oh, you mean how I started the episode and I said, This has nothing to do with what we're talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> But I can't help but bring things back to where, what, anything, any scrap of where we started, but maybe you were walking into that very airy and then you realized maybe you needed to be more like water, a little more ground, a little more grounded, but still flowing and trying to make sense of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And then as you know, the person was getting frustrated. They were giving you fire. Maybe you were thinking you needed more fire, or maybe you were thinking you needed to be more centered and grounded. So they might be So you were trying to compliment their fire state. He </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> wasn't having </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> any of that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Exactly. Cuz he was giving you pure fire and you needed to figure out He wasn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> though like that. He wasn't giving me anything. Well, he, he was just, he was being </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:22]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> totally indifferent. Yeah. Oh my goodness. That's like the worst. He </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> was totally indifferent. He didn't, he didn't care. He was. He, he was, he wasn't rolling his eyes, but it was like that, like rolling his eyes, like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Like, and, and unfortunately you were in a place where this wasn't something you could just walk away from because it's not like this was a deep, personal 10 year relationship. This is a random guy and you needed something and, and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you know what? He was perfectly great, is just, I couldn't understand. It was a culture shock.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I couldn't understand what he was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> telling me. Right. And so as we struggle to understand, we need to figure out maybe how we need to transition ourselves between our different states. Yes. To make ourselves better heard, better understood. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, in this case, I turned to, or luckily, I don't know if I turned to, or someone else actually came up to me that he was working with and, and helped out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We need each other. So whatever element I was and whatever element this guy was. It wasn't being, um, it wasn't mixing well, it, it wasn't translating. Right. And so another element came in, and that's why we all need each other. That's what I'm saying. We all have all these parts, but there are times where we're more of one than the other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And I think that that's where the imbalance comes from. Yes. And also, imbalance is necessary in everything. If you think about walking, You couldn't walk if you were not imbalanced. If you were always balanced, you would not be able to walk right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> because you would be so centered the whole time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> The fact that you have to take one step and put all your weight onto another leg.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> To go to that next step. It's a free fall if you think about it. And that's, and it, and it requires imbalance. You have to have faith that you are going to transition through that imbalance and wind up in a steady spot. It's a dance. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> When, uh, scientists were trying to teach robots to walk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> They realized that basically the robot was falling the entire time they were walking. . Mm-hmm. . It's just, again, it's a controlled, it's a controlled everything. So, you know, I, I think we need to just keep in mind that our lives are a dance and nobody is the same thing always. And we could have the same conversation five minutes later.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And all of a sudden we, we could be, have a completely different conversation. It could go in completely different directions just based upon nothing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> frankly. All I'm saying. Fire can destroy water and the other way or around, but sometimes you need to have air come in that can maybe blow out the fire </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> sometimes you need to figure out how to transition from one place to another place, from one state to another state, from one. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> you're speaking of it, but you're speaking of it in a, in a motion that is you alone, you have to do this. What I'm saying is we need each other. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, and sometimes yes, you're absolutely right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It is a dance. It is because you're having the conversation with multiple people or you're having the conversation with even just one other person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We're living on the planet with multiple people. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So we have to figure out how to get along. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm just saying we need each other. Yes. That sometimes the wind element needs to intervene or in a situation where there are enemies. If water and fire cannot coexist, then perhaps having earth in there will bring things together in harmony, is what I'm saying. So I'm saying we need each other and it's, it's good to look at all these different elements and see how things work out. I can't give you specific examples of how and why and who and what and where right now I'm just saying, look, it's just a thought. That's all I'm saying is just let's just look at this as a thought. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right? Huh? Right. And unfortunately, yeah, you don't have. Necessarily. Yeah, we, we both go through and we both get our own kind of, uh, inputs as it were. And something I've been thinking an awful lot about lately is, uh, I worked at a job and they made us take a Myers-Briggs test, which basically dictates your personality.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Well, it turns out Myers-Briggs is who he. Yeah, it's utter Huey because we're constantly in a constant state of change and flux and you can take the same test five seconds later and it comes out completely different. Matt, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> did you, did you ever watch that show with the kids and I would watch, It's called Adam Ruins Everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's a show called Adam Ruins. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I mean, it's a brilliant title and you know, I definitely gotta have sympathy for Adam. Well, he </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">did </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> a whole show on the Myers-Briggs thing and proved where it came from, and it is, it's, it's, it's garbage. It's something totally made up. Well, it, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> an, again, it's an interesting thought experiment, you know, because how do you get information?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:30]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> How do you process information? How do you communicate information? And you know what? What is your process for going, transitioning through all those states is kind of the four letters </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> of Myers breaks. Yeah, but we, I don't like the four letters and I don't like putting people in boxes, but it is good to look at, Hey, this is how this person operates.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> This is how this person maneuvers. This is how this person learns. I mean, we all know, especially in our case, Matt, right, homeschooling, we have to figure out how do each child is totally different. How do they learn? Right? How do they process something, right? One kid needs to move when they're trying to understand something, they can't sit still in a chair and just be fed information.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Their body needs to move for it to translate in their psyche, in their brain. Other kids need to do something else to come to that understanding. So it's good to know how we all operate. I don't like scientific things that put people in boxes because we all know someone makes some sort of discovery or, or in, I mean, Myers Springs, that that is total nonsense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It was totally made up, right? I don't remember the whole story, but. If you go back, it's called Adam Ruins everything and just look it up. It was something completely made up to benefit someone in part one person in particular. But I am in. Looking at each person and looking at them with compassion and trying to understand where they're coming from and, and how they're maneuvering. You know, that's how they drive, that's how they live. And I don't want to judge if I'm in a proper state of mind and rather not judge, but I'd like to be loving and open and receptive to just say, Okay, this is how this person is operating.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They could be fire, they could be air, they could be earth, they could be water, whatever. They could be pure spirit. And it's good to watch and it's good to realize it's good to, I don't wanna say analyze, but it's good to try to understand, and I just wanted to take these five elements as a starting point see people or to give it a chance to look at someone and be present enough by just using these five elements as a way to look at someone, to perhaps see them in a way that you didn't before, or perhaps to see the conflict that you're in, in a way that you didn't see before. Or if it's a perfectly perfect relationship to see, Wow, this is why we work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We hug earth and water hug, you know, like we blend and we make this together. Sometimes it's good to look at how things are made. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Fair enough. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And that was, that was my only point. Fair </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> enough. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. Okay. Love is winning. Love </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> is. Well, thank God I was pissed off. My goodness. I was mad</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> All right, well that's it. Talk to you in a few days and of course, let us know what you think. Go to our friendly world podcast.com and we'll talk to you in a few days. Bye. Be well.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/b2365689-dbbd-4195-b9fc-01bd86be1487/It-s-Elementary-FULL-EPISODE.mp3" length="27655193"
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We can think of each person and ourselves as a different kind of element (earth, fire, water, air and space), and explore how these elements work together. Some elements love each other; they support and nurture each other while some elements like fire and water are enemies; destroy each other and they need to remain separate. What does all this mean in accordance to our relationships? How can we coexist? What is the right balance to have (because we all have each and all of the elements within us) in order to have a beautiful friendship? Keep in mind that IMBALANCE is necessary also.
If you think about walking, You couldn't walk if you were not imbalanced. If you were always balanced, you would not be able to walk because you would be so centered the whole time. The fact that you have to take one step and put all your weight onto another leg. To go to that next step is a free fall if you think about it. And it requires imbalance. You have to have faith that you are going to transition through that imbalance and wind up in a steady spot. These are the things to keep in mind in the art of friendship.
Enjoy this episode and tell others about our podcast, subscribe, and leave us a kind review. AND keep friendship alive. Get a free copy of our book by clicking here:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ 
It's Elementary - TRANSCRIPT
 When 
[00:00:00] FAWN: I went to the hardware store, Yeah, when I went, when I went to the hardware store, when I went to Home Depot, I had a culture, not a culture shock. I don't know what to call it. It wasn't a shock, but a, when you go to different areas and you don't realize how different you are, and then all of a sudden you experience a shift in culture? Mm-hmm. ? Yes. That happened to me at the store , and then it happened after the store also, like I was talking to our neighbor, Kathy, and she started laughing at one word I said, and the conversation continued, but she definitely laughed at me saying, our friend's name Barry.
[00:00:44] FAWN: And she's like, What? I'm like Barry. She's like Barry and, And she was laughing about how I said strawberry or blueberry and then she corrected it quickly, like it happened in a span of like two seconds. Wait, how did she correct it? She said Barry, again, I don't know. Cause I'm experiencing culture shock, like aari or something.
[00:01:05] FAWN: Berry. Berry. This is 
[00:01:07] MATT: like when you try and correct me with your fluent french. 
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:28:48</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Ugly Truth - Harsh but Truthful]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Nov 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1317204</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-ugly-truth-harsh-but-truthful</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We're talking about telling it like it is, not being worried about looking ugly, and not allowing ourselves to get so offended. Everyone goes through moments where they get offended in a friendship. But have you noticed that in our current culture, as soon as someone gets offended, it's the end of the friendship?<br /><br />Relationships have become disposable because it's so easy to just avoid a person or a certain problem forever, and never want to talk about it again. This takes us back to the saying “How you start something is how you end”. We can't end on a bad note and think that we can go into this other thing and start all over, with a clean slate. The same issues will inevitably come up again. So if we get offended by someone and we end that relationship because we never want to talk to this person again, whatever issue was a charge is going to happen again. That same issue in some other form is going to come up again.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Further discussion leads us to explore when being polite at all costs is ruining our humanity and our relationships/friendships. We explore the delicate balance of telling it like it is, perhaps appearing harsh, but needing to be truthful in order to be good friends. Sometimes being unafraid to look foolish or ugly can save our lives.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hi </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> everybody. Hello. Welcome. I told you, what did I tell you about the Hello . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hello everyone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank you. Hello. Love you. Love is winning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> oh dear. This week, today we're talking about giving it to you straight, telling it like it is, right? So I'll tell you how it is, honest. I have to get things off my chest. This week was hard, This week was hard. Uh, Allegra had a meltdown. I'm like, Okay, let's change the perspective. The meltdown happened because of math, which, you know, when I started homeschooling, I started to really love math because, My perspective changed and I got emotional about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like I really wanted to understand this thing that always gave me trouble in school. And then, because I could start from the very beginning, like preschool age up until now, we're like, you know, the kids are like, like big </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> seventh, ninth, 10th, seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th. God, I missed eight. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Anyways. B...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We're talking about telling it like it is, not being worried about looking ugly, and not allowing ourselves to get so offended. Everyone goes through moments where they get offended in a friendship. But have you noticed that in our current culture, as soon as someone gets offended, it's the end of the friendship?Relationships have become disposable because it's so easy to just avoid a person or a certain problem forever, and never want to talk about it again. This takes us back to the saying “How you start something is how you end”. We can't end on a bad note and think that we can go into this other thing and start all over, with a clean slate. The same issues will inevitably come up again. So if we get offended by someone and we end that relationship because we never want to talk to this person again, whatever issue was a charge is going to happen again. That same issue in some other form is going to come up again.
Further discussion leads us to explore when being polite at all costs is ruining our humanity and our relationships/friendships. We explore the delicate balance of telling it like it is, perhaps appearing harsh, but needing to be truthful in order to be good friends. Sometimes being unafraid to look foolish or ugly can save our lives.

TRANSCRIPT
Hi 
[00:00:01] FAWN: everybody. Hello. Welcome. I told you, what did I tell you about the Hello . 
[00:00:07] MATT: Hello everyone. 
[00:00:08] FAWN: Thank you. Hello. Love you. Love is winning.
[00:00:15] FAWN: oh dear. This week, today we're talking about giving it to you straight, telling it like it is, right? So I'll tell you how it is, honest. I have to get things off my chest. This week was hard, This week was hard. Uh, Allegra had a meltdown. I'm like, Okay, let's change the perspective. The meltdown happened because of math, which, you know, when I started homeschooling, I started to really love math because, My perspective changed and I got emotional about it.
[00:00:46] FAWN: Like I really wanted to understand this thing that always gave me trouble in school. And then, because I could start from the very beginning, like preschool age up until now, we're like, you know, the kids are like, like big 
[00:01:03] MATT: seventh, ninth, 10th, seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th. God, I missed eight. 
[00:01:08] FAWN: Anyways. B...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Ugly Truth - Harsh but Truthful]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We're talking about telling it like it is, not being worried about looking ugly, and not allowing ourselves to get so offended. Everyone goes through moments where they get offended in a friendship. But have you noticed that in our current culture, as soon as someone gets offended, it's the end of the friendship?<br /><br />Relationships have become disposable because it's so easy to just avoid a person or a certain problem forever, and never want to talk about it again. This takes us back to the saying “How you start something is how you end”. We can't end on a bad note and think that we can go into this other thing and start all over, with a clean slate. The same issues will inevitably come up again. So if we get offended by someone and we end that relationship because we never want to talk to this person again, whatever issue was a charge is going to happen again. That same issue in some other form is going to come up again.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Further discussion leads us to explore when being polite at all costs is ruining our humanity and our relationships/friendships. We explore the delicate balance of telling it like it is, perhaps appearing harsh, but needing to be truthful in order to be good friends. Sometimes being unafraid to look foolish or ugly can save our lives.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hi </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> everybody. Hello. Welcome. I told you, what did I tell you about the Hello . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:07]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Hello everyone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank you. Hello. Love you. Love is winning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> oh dear. This week, today we're talking about giving it to you straight, telling it like it is, right? So I'll tell you how it is, honest. I have to get things off my chest. This week was hard, This week was hard. Uh, Allegra had a meltdown. I'm like, Okay, let's change the perspective. The meltdown happened because of math, which, you know, when I started homeschooling, I started to really love math because, My perspective changed and I got emotional about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like I really wanted to understand this thing that always gave me trouble in school. And then, because I could start from the very beginning, like preschool age up until now, we're like, you know, the kids are like, like big </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> seventh, ninth, 10th, seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th. God, I missed eight. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Anyways. But you know, they're like doing like pre-calculus, calculus kind of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> the math is getting more intense </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> for sure. So, um, alright. So. You know, even though I, I got into a state where I was like, Wow, I get math now. , it's really amazing. I love it. I am still frustrated by it. I still don't understand it, but when I'm able to understand, because now I'm tired with all my years on being on the planet so far dealing with math, I'm like, Okay, fine, fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I give up. I give in. I'll just memorize what you're telling me to memorize because as a kid I'm like, How dare you tell me to memorize this bizarre thing? Tell me how you got there. Who discovered this? Why are you making me memorize it and not, you know, ask any questions, like, just memorize this and just do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No, thank you, sir. Do you know what I'm saying? It made me mad. Cause I'm a, I'm a defiant kind of person. Right. And I, I had don't tell </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> me what to do. Totally different mentality towards the whole thing, which was, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, you were taught by good teachers. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Let's, let's memorize it and let's be as fast as we can and fast and safe as we can and call </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it a day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> See, I just wanted to understand the philosophy of it. Right. Right. It's just, and no one taught me any of that. So, And no one cared about me. Do you know what I'm saying? And that's, Oh, you got this wrong. Oh, well, f. Oh my God, thank you to my 12th grade teacher, because I seriously needed to flunk. She gave me a D minus and I graduated high school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But anyway, so since then I've become obsessed with math. I love it, and I really wanna learn trig, all of that. So I'm learning with the kids and thank God we have you Matt, because you actually, this is your jam math. So you're able to make sense of it. And when it, when I do the research before the kids learn it, you teach me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm like, okay, no. Okay, I get it. Ooh. Now I remember from when I was a kid, Like I didn't think that, you know what I mean? I actually remember stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I feel you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> but anyway, long story short. Like Allegra had a meltdown. And even though I love math, I gotta tell you, M A T h, mental abuse to humans. That that, oh dear, that comes into my head like it is mental abuse to humans.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I hate it. You know? And then when we get it, I always whisper to Allegra's ear. I used to do it to L two. I'm like, Math is our bitch. And we started laughing . Oh dear. Like once we have a down right. So there was a meltdown. You were trying to teach her like an engineer and you know, we all know like, I don't know any of you out there who had like, Super smart parents.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Like Matt's, Matt's dad was, uh, rocket scientist. See, I don't think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> that's fair. Let's say very, what is it? Left brain, right brain that an super analytic parents, let's call it that. Let's not say super smart, cuz smart comes in all shapes and sizes and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> colors. I say a rocket scientist trying to give you a math equation explanation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They don't have the same vocabulary to say, Hey look, this is what's happening. You are the same way. Matt, when we met, I was trying to go digital with photography , and you were explaining things to me. I'm like, I have no idea what's coming outta your mouth. I have no idea what you're saying. Ex of JP. Ping and you would get so upset.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We got into a fight one day and I called Greg, who's this amazing graphic designer who is very tech savvy, who's straddling </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> both sides of his brain. Right. The left </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and the right. Exactly. So he spoke my language. Anyway, so I called Greg. And my nose was stuffy and he immediately said, . Cause I called him at work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:59]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> talking to that man about computers, aren't you? I know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I mean, as soon as I called him, I called him at the office, like he worked at this huge ad agency. I'm like, Greg . He immediately said, Did you get into a computer fight with Matt? I'm like, Yes. He please explain. I, I barely had to tell him what was troubling me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> He's like, Oh. And he just explained in my, in my words, in like, in my language. I'm like, Oh i, I get it now. Thanks. And I'm like, Oh, thank you. Solved. Problem solved in like 10 seconds. Meanwhile, we were at it for like three hours fighting Anyway. You are teaching Allegra the way you do, which is great most of the time, but sometimes that engineering thing comes out in you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So I'm like, Allegra, let's go on the yard. Let's come on. And she is inconsolable, she's crying, and now we're in the yard. And now she's screaming. I'm like, Oh man, the neighbor's gonna think. I'm like, Uh, an abuser. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And here's where it gets twisted. She was like super pissed cuz the math wasn't coming out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Then we figured out the math and she was getting 'em all right. And I was like, See that? See that? You're getting it. You're getting it. You're, And then she, I still don't understand how that happened. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's called frustration. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> yeah, but we got over the, that level of frustration. We solved the problem </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> was on the bronze level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> She needed a break. And you're like, No, we need, we need to push through. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> We do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm like, No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:29]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> we did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We needed a break. We needed sunshine and grass and grounding. But even that didn't work. Cause then she was yelling at me. Then she had a full on meltdown. The whole, I swear, miles away could hear her yelling and screaming.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And then she's like, Don't touch me. When I was trying to caress her head like, It's okay, you know? It was horrible. I kept my cool, I thought everything was okay. But I think the stress of that carried on to the next day. Cause the next day I had a meltdown. I. The stress of that, along with the stress of everything else in my life and the things that I have to take care of all came to a head when I was by myself going to get us groceries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I was standing there trying to get a loaf of bread, find some lettuce, which I can never find. Why is lettuce is so expensive right now? It's terrible. Anyway, I started crying at the store. I'm like, Uh oh, . I haven't done this in a while. And then I'm like, Okay, whatever. I stopped crying, got the groceries, driving home, started crying again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Some song came on. I'm like, I just cried. And I thought, Okay, I'm good now. But then I ended up having a meltdown later that day. It's been a hard week. And so anyway, all this to say, When we go through stuff and we're experiencing hardship or things happen, um, yes, we need kindness, but there are sometimes where you need to be told straight or you need to give it to someone straight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Do you understand what I'm saying? Oh, ab, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> absolutely. I constant, not constantly, but um, yeah, I remember. I get all my news from England because that way I don't hear American football scores. Welcome to my world. Okay, fine. But I read an ad, a piece on an advice column, and God, this dude. And I was reading it and he sounded completely like, Oh yes, I'm very logical.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I'm very rational and I'm very composed and I'm very everything. And he's talking about leaving his wife for his daughter's roommate because they bonded and connected and he's feeling that magical, special feeling about her. And I'm shaking my head the advice column lit his underwear on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> fire . See, most people don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> do that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> saying, What are you even thinking?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You are an I, I swear to God, she must have said, you insignificant little twit, . It was practically that bad, right? What are you thinking? In what world does this even remotely make </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> sense? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We were talking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> about how everyone goes through moments where they get offended in a friendship and how usually what's happening in our culture is as soon as someone gets offended, it's the end of the friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They just, it's disposable </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> cause it's so easy to just avoid that problem for the rest of your life. Right. And ne you never need to talk about it. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> this also goes back to the other thing we were saying about how you start something is how you end. So you can't end on a bad note and think that you can go into this other thing and start all over again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> The same issues will come up, right? So if you get offended by someone and you end that relationship because you never wanna talk to this person again, now you know when it's going to happen again. That same issue in some other form is gonna come up again. Now this is different than dealing with someone that you realize, hey, this is their behavior their entire life, but they're not able to see how they're behaving, that it's borderline abusive or abusive. In that case, please get away from this person that is not your friend. That's not what I'm talking about here. What I'm talking about is we're human beings.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> There's so many things happening. We're bound to get offended, and I'm just saying unless it's a, an abusive relationship, this doesn't count. In that case, if it's not an abusive relationship and you find yourself being offended, like check yourself and be strong enough to maybe perhaps allow for the person to check you, and I find that in the American culture in particular, especially a Caucasian culture, that that doesn't happen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And it certainly doesn't happen. I've noticed because now we, you know, we have kids, but I've been noticing it since the kids were born from the instant that they were babies and we could take them to the playground. I have been watching and we have moved a lot, so from city to city, town to town, I've seen this how women treat their sons in partticular.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They'll treat their children this way, but I've just especially noticed it with, with how men are raised, how boys are raised, that when the boy acts up and has a tantrum and slaps the mother, the mother doesn't correct that child. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I remember seeing that happen and the child had gotten to a point where they knew exactly how to best strike their mother. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And you knew, And by the way, I've seen this so many times. Frightening. It wasn't just one time we saw, I saw it a lot. Cause that was always at the playground. Mm-hmm. . Right? You were, you know, most of the time we were working. So you were there on the weekends where other guys were there, Like dads were there as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , but. If you're in there day in, day out, you see this kind of behavior, especially for someone like me who's on the outskirts of things because I'm not Caucasian. I was always left out of social groups, even at the playgrounds with other moms because they thought I was the maid or the nanny. I was never allowed in that group.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right? So I noticed things. I'm like, Look at that. They do not correct their children. And I'm not saying physically correct them. I'm not saying beat them up and spank them. Not at all. What I'm saying is they're not even told, hey, or you know, stop the kid's hand and say, you get, you don't get to hit me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You don't get to hit anyone. Right. NO! They don't use the word no because you know, I remember, remember when we had Elle like, they're like, Oh, never use the word no with your children. I'm like, REALLY?! . No ma'am. . And I fell into that too. I remember one day in the kitchen, Elle kept asking for things, and I never used the word no, but I, I, I kind of diverted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No, but I didn't say no. However, how did I do it? But you commented on it. I'm like, oh my God, I am doing that. Like I'm not using the A word no, but I'm definitely letting her know, letting her understand that there's another way. Right. I was always course correcting immediately, even if it's out there in public, I had to course correct. If I saw another kid misbehave,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I immediately, immediately turned to Elle and Allegra. I said, You see that behavior right there, that's not gonna fly. Do you understand that? You don't ever act like that with me, with daddy or anyone else. You understand me? Oh my goodness. It's impossible. Dad. Mama. Yes, mama. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> It's impossible to watch like a family movie where the kids are doing anything that's, uh, below board,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> with my wife, without her saying, Oh, I'll, you see how, you see how these kids are acting on this movie? You don't do that. I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I paused the movie right then and there. That's a teaching experience right there because we tend to ignore bad behavior in our culture, especially in the United States. Cause it's easy in the moment and it's constantly ignored for whatever reasons.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't care what the reason is. It's still ignored. I, granted we're busy, we gotta move on. But like, one of the things that I noticed, being a mom to little, little kids. . It's scary, especially being a, a non-white mother at a playground where I'm correcting my children and sometimes my voice is louder than it should be, but I'm still correcting them and saying, You know, that's not okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. Um, everyone stops and stares at you and it's quite scary cuz you're like, ugh, you're ostracized because you're not like you, you're not ignoring it and you're not being. Like them. Do you know what I'm saying? Well, you're not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> keeping quiet. You're not keeping to your place, whatever that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> place is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. Ugh. So, but that also translates, like I always say, friendship. The way things have progressed in our culture is because of how we were raised. How do you expect to have an understanding of what a true relationship is in friendship when from the very beginning you're taught that you're disposable or you, you have to be over here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Oh, you're born, you're gonna go to daycare now. Oh, you're now this old. You're gonna go to the old folks home, that everyone has their own room inside of a house. You're just gonna go in your own room, your own car, your own this, your own that. Everything is so separate in our culture.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> You know, I was kind, I was kind of raised with both, so I'm like, that's what I mean, It's our home. And no, you're not gonna get kicked out at 18. This is our home. It's our checking account. It is our life together. You're gonna go to college. It's our money. We're all gonna figure out how we're gonna make this happen, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> , there is no, this is mine or this is my space and I'm gonna shut you out. Or do you know what I'm saying? Matt? You're just being quiet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Yeah. No abs. Here I go. Yeah, no, absolutely. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Have you noticed? Every time I say something and Matt is quiet, I look at him. I'm like, Matt, what do you have to say? He goes, Oh, no, no, no, no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. He always says those. I do. I usually try to edit </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:48]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> those things out. It gives my brain a, a chance to think. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Thank you. Well just think and say it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Okay. I'm sorry. Where were we now? I'm confused. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I don't know. I don't remember. I don't remember. Okay. So we're talking about giving it to you straight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So what I'm, what I was trying to say is, everything stems from how we are raised. There's a problem with friendship. People forgot the art of friendship. That's because of how we're raised at home. We're not, we're not. Parents, but you know, we don't know how to be friendly. We don't know how to communicate with one another.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> We don't know how to be in the same room. We don't know how to be still together. The, the pandemic was a great opportunity for everyone to just be still, That's true and be in the same room. But, you know, all I heard was like, um, at so many people think it was funny to send me these gifs these moms saying, Help me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm stuck with my kids. You know? I'm like, Oh my God, I wanna be with my kids. I wanna be with you, Matt. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here. Right. I didn't have kids to just have like an accessory to in daycare and Right. Like it's a purse. Like, look at me. I got a kid. You know what I'm saying? I, before we had kids, I'm like, okay, it's not just cute baby.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It's gonna turn into an ugly teenager, maybe that's yelling at you . Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely. Um, and also I wanna hang out with these kids and I think in our culture we tend to shut everybody away. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Right, Because I gotta take care of my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> personal stuff. I don't know what it is, but you know, even the elderly, like everyone gets their own home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Everyone get goes away at some point, right? Everyone gets put into some kind of daycare or something, or a home of some kind, right? And even if it's that, it's a, the home is some other place at age 18. Like go, you're out. Right? You're 18, you're on your own kid. What I'm trying to go for here is, That cooperative feeling like when you play a game, let's play together for one common goal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> When we're living together, let's live together. When we're eating, let's eat together, let's share our ideas. I can get offended. You can get offended. We're all living all these different experiences and friendships exactly the way we were living them growing up in our families.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I've been saying that throughout all the episodes, it goes also back to the same thing again. How you start is how you finish. How you finish is how you start. Absolutely. It's all related. So we were talking about, so obviously this fool who is married and has children and one of his kids has a friend, he's like, I think we have a connection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And how this, Was she a therapist? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> What was she? It's like, Dear Abby, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> so, but she lit him up. She lit him up. And I'm like, Well, that's rare because I've noticed. Please forgive me guys. It sounds terrible. But I've noticed in the Caucasian culture that it's very, everything is very polite. Certain cultures are very polite and you don't wanna, Well, it's very quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. And that's another thing I think why people don't like me so much is I'm loud and when I'm happy, I'm like, woo loud. And when I'm angry, I'm loud . You know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh Lord. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I can also be quiet. But like I have all kinds of, frequencies and volumes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> to me. And that's not acceptable. In a lot of the cultures.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> It has to be even keeled. It has to be very, um, What's the word for it? Like, what's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:38]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> the word for it? There's a lot of words. We go for unobtrusive and, and everybody has seen this, how when, when people come off the airplane, It used to be, and now I guess we we're not waiting the gates anymore, blah, blah, blah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Haven't done that for years and years and years. But you see it in the movies where like somebody comes off the airplane and they see this person they haven't seen in in years, and everybody yells and screams and, Oh my God, I can't believe you're here. Have you ever seen that in real life? I never have.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:11]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And I remember tripping out </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> on that. Unless it's me that's in that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Exactly. But it's always very dignified, like, Yes, let's go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> get your bags. Have you noticed like even pain, and I'm killed of this too, actually, Like, I refuse to be loud when I'm in pain, right? Like when we went to the hospital and I was giving birth to Elle, I'm like, I'm not gonna yell.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They're like, No, you need to yell and like let it out. I'm like, Nope, there will be no grunting and no yelling. Because that really, um, is, um, scary to me, right? It's a trigger for me, and I'm sure being loud is triggering to other people. I get it. I. I forgot what I was gonna </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> say. Well, I can, I can take off on this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:56]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh my Lord. Cuz yet we're all over the place today, folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> No, I wanna hone it in though. Okay. Quickly say what you're gonna say. It's, it's not a quick thing to say. Just say it. It's too late. Go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> ahead. So I'm working at a big company and we went through the, um, active shooter. Training.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Oh</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> my God. You did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> We did.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Because we have warehouses and we have offices and everybody needs to be aware of all this crap now. My two big takeaways, so there was a fire in a nightclub and a lot of people died and that's a really a shame. And one of the things they found out was there was a big old plate glass window that everybody was afraid to break and it would've saved so many people and people were afraid to go into the employee area to look for an exit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Everybody tried to crowd crowd out the front doors. That's why. Because, Because people were afraid. The other big takeaway, and, and this one's tragic and I'm sorry, I'm gonna do this to even myself cause I'm gonna get messed up cuz even just, I've talked about this with one or two people and I always get choked up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So I'm gonna go through this super fast and hopefully I won't. Um, but they talk about if you get shot, the difference between whether or not you live or die is in your own head, cuz you go into shock. If your thought is, I'm gonna get through this,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> If your thought is, I'm gonna get through this, you will. If your thought is, Why is this happening to me? What's going on? You're in trouble. You're in big. It's all mental. So you have to not be afraid. You have to be, not be afraid to be loud. You have to be not be afraid to share. You have to not be afraid to be stupid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> You have to not be afraid. You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> have to not be afraid of looking ugly. I think that's a problem with women. Why women are attacked. With, self defense that women are afraid to yell and say no, they're afraid to look ugly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And so therefore you can't protect yourself. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And also they're afraid to look stupid because this guy wasn't really following you to your car to do bad things to you. He was just going the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> same way. See, this is what I'm talking about. You don't wanna offend someone, God forbid you offend someone that you don't even know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That you don't even know. So you're gonna sacrifice your well-being, your, your life, your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> possible safety and everything else, because at the risk of offending </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> may look stupid or offending somebody. Yeah. And that goes for a friendship. So what I've noticed from the very beginning is, wow, like people don't give it to you straight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> They don't talk to you and everything is kind of superficial. So, alright. So one of our kids did something really stupid today, this morning, and we just spent hours talking about it and I. and I told her a story cuz I, she's like, Okay, I get it, I get it. I'm so sorry. I get it, I get it, I get it. I'm like, I don't know if you really do, because I wasn't raised properly, but I had a great teacher in the third grade, eight years old, Mrs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Wilkinson. Right. She, one day had, um, didn't show up to class. So we were all sitting there waiting, and then the principal comes in and says, I'm sorry, Mrs. Wilkinson got into a traffic accident. She's not gonna be here today. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Today. Well now, Now wait a second.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> How did you feel about Ms. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Wilkinson? I loved Mrs. Wilkinson so much. I loved her. I felt closer to her than my parents because she actually gave a, She cared about all of us. She cared about me. She was such a great teacher. She was lovely in all ways. I loved her, loved her, and I looked forward to going to school, and I was never a good student.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I loved going to school because of Mrs. Wilkinson. I loved the way she taught. I loved, I felt safe, I felt inspired. Um, I never liked to read. But I loved going into the beautiful reading nook that she created, and I loved touching all the books and reading the books. I loved her The Greatest Teacher. So anyways, so the principal comes in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> So the principal comes in, said, Mrs. Wilkinson, won't be here today. She got into an accident, so all the other kids loved her too. But what did we do in unison we stood up and cheered like, yay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> And um, and you, you know, we didn't think anything about it. All we were thinking was no school. Yay, no class. Yay. So, Mrs. Wilkinson found out, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> of course, because the principal's right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> there. I mean, come on. Oh my goodness. We got a talking to when she came to. and I remember it went on and on and on. Much like how our kid was like, I get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm like, No, I don't know if you do. Cuz I remembered Mrs. Wilkinson telling us her perspective, right? Of her finding out that we cheered, that she got into an accident, we cheered that she wasn't going to be there. And she explained to us . And she explain. How that is from her perspective.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. How awful it is that we cheered her mis misfortune and we supposedly love her and she cares for us. And like it just, she, she </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> talks and you should cheer anybody's misfortune. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Shouldn't. Is that what you said? Yeah. Well you said </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you should. I was offering that up as bait for you to do that. Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Anyway, but I remember to this day, I'm decades later, I think about this lesson. I wouldn't say every day, but every time I learned something, I recall how she made that point and made it very clear. Had I not heard her, had I not heard Mrs. Wilkinson yell at us like that and try to explain it to us. Because I, I tried to explain it to you and Allegra this morning, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right. I said, if Mrs. Wilkinson came in and said, You know, that wasn't very nice. Do to others on, you know, whatever that is. Like, you have to treat people the way you wanna be treated. Please don't do that. It would, that message would not have gotten through. Decades later, it is still affecting me. That lesson that I learned from her being so upset with us and explaining, breaking it down what idiots we were right to not care for your fellow human being to cheer like that, not be concerned about their welfare, just be concerned about your own</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> stupid I don't get to work today. And you're not worried about her. She got into an accident we nobody asked. We were just like, Yay. No school to be so what's the word for it? Entitled To have that kind of disrespect, it just blows me away. And I see that on the playground. I see that with people with friendships, how they treat each.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> At the risk of offending someone, You don't set anyone straight, and we need to, we need to have a Mrs. Wilkinson approach in like letting you know you're an idiot. What was that behavior about? You know what I'm saying? Still. Dang. I'm feeling accused over here, folks. I'm sorry. Just because I'm looking at you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I'm not talking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you right now. I know I'm feeling that way, but no, I've been in conversations with friends of mine and I've been like, You know, when they say something that is just inherently foolish, I call them on it. I do. And I'm like, You know that this is what you're really up to, right? And they're like, Dang.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, you know, even that, that seems very nice of you. Like. I'm glad they got it. I just feel like I have to say, What the hell? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:26]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> what? Whereas I have to say, Are you sure? Mm, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I know. See, I don't know. I don't know if it'll work. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> know every time that's, that's how I roll, unfortunately. Well, fortunately or unfortunately, I need to get a little more edge, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> suppose.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Well, maybe it'll need to cuz you're a man and you're white and you're big. Well, the other </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> thing that's key though is, and I'm little, this is only after. We've, we've, we've, we share, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> we you're talking about you and your buddy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I go, me and my, some of my buddies. Yes. Danny, Tim, Jim. But yeah. You know, he'll, he'll yell at me when I deserve it and I'll yell at him when he deserves it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> And we, we just expect that because, you know, there is never. Nobody lives an entire lifetime without pulling some stupid mistakes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Right? Of course. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> So once you realize that, and it's a two-way street, then be honest. For goodness sake, don't be afraid. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I just, Yeah, Don't be afraid to look ugly. If you have someone in your life that sees like an instant of ugly, whatever ugly is to them, like, Oh God, for forbid you raise your voice and like you express your opinion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> If that's a deal breaker, well then good riddance BYE. That happened to me with the yoga bitches, you know, And then, and then they come and apologize. I'm like, No, because your behavior will not stop.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> I could say, Okay, , you know, I could go, I could, I could think about it, but I know that this is kind of an abusive pattern that's never gonna break with these people, right? So I took, I took myself out of that situation. I took the girls out of that situation. We never spoke to them again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Exactly. But it's different. I'm saying we all need to still be, unless it's an abusive relationship, that's not gonna stop. We need to be schooled. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> We need to hold each other accountable for their actions. And we need to, we need to, Yeah. Call it like you see it and don't be afraid. Right. That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> it. Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> That's it. I, I don't wanna talk too long.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> That I would, I took this conversation in a direction I was not, I was ill and prepared to take it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> in. What do you mean? What direction was that? The active shooter? Yeah. Why did that make you cry? Is it because of what happened to you A few years ago? Matt almost died.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> ao, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and he always talks about how throughout all of it, he knew he was, he just told himself he was gonna be OK.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Even at the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:53]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> absolute worst. Yeah. And the absolute worst was had I known how bad the absolute worst was . But anyways, that's beside the point. Cuz I certainly knew I was pretty F'd, but I didn't understand. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> But is that why you were crying, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> you think? Um, there's just, it's just, it's messed up when you start having empathy for people who have been shot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:16]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I. , you know, and, and you should have empathy for people who are shot, but then you put yourself in the same situation. You're like, Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> and the thing is, in the American culture, little kids in preschools go through shooter drills. Right. Active shooter drills. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I know. And I, I have no idea. I have no idea how they do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> This was a traumatic experience for me. You mean going through that, going, going through the actor shooter, drill, training, training. Not a drill. It was just training. It was just somebody talking. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah. Preschoolers are taught to get on a toilet seat and lift their legs up. Right. Like the, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> it's unbelievable Here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> I am not being afraid to say something, but this is unbelievable to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> me. Yeah. Uh, welcome to our American society. There you go. Um, anyway, And how can the, how Nevermind I won't go there. Okay. So, That's it guys. , shoot it straight. Don't say shoot. Edit that out, . No, it's okay. Be honest. Be truthful. You know, don't be afraid to look ugly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Your friends will love you regardless if they're true friends. We all know that. So don't be afraid to look ugly. Matt is waving goodbye. All right, we'll talk to you in a few days. Love you. Be well. Our friendly world podcast.com. Please go there. Tell other people to download our show. Leave us a review, a kind review, please , and uh, let's see what else, What else, what else?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>FAWN:</strong></span> Yeah, we wanna be friends. If you wanna hang out with us, email us. Okay. Love you. Bye. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>MATT:</strong></span> Be well.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[We're talking about telling it like it is, not being worried about looking ugly, and not allowing ourselves to get so offended. Everyone goes through moments where they get offended in a friendship. But have you noticed that in our current culture, as soon as someone gets offended, it's the end of the friendship?Relationships have become disposable because it's so easy to just avoid a person or a certain problem forever, and never want to talk about it again. This takes us back to the saying “How you start something is how you end”. We can't end on a bad note and think that we can go into this other thing and start all over, with a clean slate. The same issues will inevitably come up again. So if we get offended by someone and we end that relationship because we never want to talk to this person again, whatever issue was a charge is going to happen again. That same issue in some other form is going to come up again.
Further discussion leads us to explore when being polite at all costs is ruining our humanity and our relationships/friendships. We explore the delicate balance of telling it like it is, perhaps appearing harsh, but needing to be truthful in order to be good friends. Sometimes being unafraid to look foolish or ugly can save our lives.

TRANSCRIPT
Hi 
[00:00:01] FAWN: everybody. Hello. Welcome. I told you, what did I tell you about the Hello . 
[00:00:07] MATT: Hello everyone. 
[00:00:08] FAWN: Thank you. Hello. Love you. Love is winning.
[00:00:15] FAWN: oh dear. This week, today we're talking about giving it to you straight, telling it like it is, right? So I'll tell you how it is, honest. I have to get things off my chest. This week was hard, This week was hard. Uh, Allegra had a meltdown. I'm like, Okay, let's change the perspective. The meltdown happened because of math, which, you know, when I started homeschooling, I started to really love math because, My perspective changed and I got emotional about it.
[00:00:46] FAWN: Like I really wanted to understand this thing that always gave me trouble in school. And then, because I could start from the very beginning, like preschool age up until now, we're like, you know, the kids are like, like big 
[00:01:03] MATT: seventh, ninth, 10th, seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th. God, I missed eight. 
[00:01:08] FAWN: Anyways. B...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1317204/NO-.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:35:46</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Make New Friends When You Move to A New Place]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Nov 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1312500</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-make-new-friends-when-you-move-to-a-new-place</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>How to make friends when life has changed? How do we make friends when our life has completely changed? And that change could be a move, it could be being in a completely different situation, a new job, people we love passing away, or we give birth, become parents, etc, etc. Things open and close. Things happen, and life changes. That's when we start looking around to see if we have friends for real around us; someone to call, to be with us, to hold our hand; someone we can just walk down the street with, someone to be our witness in life. How can we make friends when life has completely changed or changed a little bit?<br /><br />How do we make friends when we're going through a transformation?<br /><br />It's like jumping into a beautiful lake, but you don't want to because it's gonna be a shocking cold temperature or something. Whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable for a few seconds. But Once we're in there, the water's fine and we can open our arms, glide, and enjoy life.</p>
<p>In this episode, we discuss steps to take to make new friends in a new place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>How to move to make friends moving to a new place - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Hello. We are back. Here we are. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello everybody. How are you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> doing? Good job, Matt. . I was just telling Matt every time we start the show, hello? He just says hello. I'm like, it just sounds like I spliced your voice in saying hello like a puppet. No. Good. So here he is, everybody. Matt. Hello. Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So. I made a new podcast friend last week. Actually we met weeks ago, but mm-hmm. . I was on his podcast. His name is Adam,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> his podcast is podcasting Business school. So check that out. I think, it's good even if you're not a podcaster, to listen to him because he makes great business sense. . And if you look at it, if you look at people who are doing really well in business, they're actually, you can use their advice also for friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But anyway, we were talking and yeah, that's how, how I was doing, I'm like, Oh, you know, finally got through, unpacking the last box. You know, it's been nuts. , he's like, I move too, he. Uh, I think a month and a half before we did, or two months before we did. Mm-hmm. And, and I do recall when we met in this huge forum through Podfest. I think he glanced at our podcast. He didn't know about us. But he was like, Oh, friendship. Well if you're gonna do it, I hope you're doing it on. Like how do I actually teach people to make friends? I'm like, I'm like, Is he talking to me? I think he was talking to me. Cause we were the only o...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[How to make friends when life has changed? How do we make friends when our life has completely changed? And that change could be a move, it could be being in a completely different situation, a new job, people we love passing away, or we give birth, become parents, etc, etc. Things open and close. Things happen, and life changes. That's when we start looking around to see if we have friends for real around us; someone to call, to be with us, to hold our hand; someone we can just walk down the street with, someone to be our witness in life. How can we make friends when life has completely changed or changed a little bit?How do we make friends when we're going through a transformation?It's like jumping into a beautiful lake, but you don't want to because it's gonna be a shocking cold temperature or something. Whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable for a few seconds. But Once we're in there, the water's fine and we can open our arms, glide, and enjoy life.
In this episode, we discuss steps to take to make new friends in a new place.
 
 
How to move to make friends moving to a new place - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Okay. Hello. We are back. Here we are. 
[00:00:03] Matt: Hello everybody. How are you 
[00:00:04] Fawn: doing? Good job, Matt. . I was just telling Matt every time we start the show, hello? He just says hello. I'm like, it just sounds like I spliced your voice in saying hello like a puppet. No. Good. So here he is, everybody. Matt. Hello. Oh my God.
[00:00:24] Fawn: So. I made a new podcast friend last week. Actually we met weeks ago, but mm-hmm. . I was on his podcast. His name is Adam,
[00:00:35] Fawn: and 
[00:00:35] Fawn: his podcast is podcasting Business school. So check that out. I think, it's good even if you're not a podcaster, to listen to him because he makes great business sense. . And if you look at it, if you look at people who are doing really well in business, they're actually, you can use their advice also for friendship.
[00:00:57] Fawn: But anyway, we were talking and yeah, that's how, how I was doing, I'm like, Oh, you know, finally got through, unpacking the last box. You know, it's been nuts. , he's like, I move too, he. Uh, I think a month and a half before we did, or two months before we did. Mm-hmm. And, and I do recall when we met in this huge forum through Podfest. I think he glanced at our podcast. He didn't know about us. But he was like, Oh, friendship. Well if you're gonna do it, I hope you're doing it on. Like how do I actually teach people to make friends? I'm like, I'm like, Is he talking to me? I think he was talking to me. Cause we were the only o...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Make New Friends When You Move to A New Place]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>How to make friends when life has changed? How do we make friends when our life has completely changed? And that change could be a move, it could be being in a completely different situation, a new job, people we love passing away, or we give birth, become parents, etc, etc. Things open and close. Things happen, and life changes. That's when we start looking around to see if we have friends for real around us; someone to call, to be with us, to hold our hand; someone we can just walk down the street with, someone to be our witness in life. How can we make friends when life has completely changed or changed a little bit?<br /><br />How do we make friends when we're going through a transformation?<br /><br />It's like jumping into a beautiful lake, but you don't want to because it's gonna be a shocking cold temperature or something. Whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable for a few seconds. But Once we're in there, the water's fine and we can open our arms, glide, and enjoy life.</p>
<p>In this episode, we discuss steps to take to make new friends in a new place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>How to move to make friends moving to a new place - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Hello. We are back. Here we are. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello everybody. How are you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> doing? Good job, Matt. . I was just telling Matt every time we start the show, hello? He just says hello. I'm like, it just sounds like I spliced your voice in saying hello like a puppet. No. Good. So here he is, everybody. Matt. Hello. Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So. I made a new podcast friend last week. Actually we met weeks ago, but mm-hmm. . I was on his podcast. His name is Adam,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> his podcast is podcasting Business school. So check that out. I think, it's good even if you're not a podcaster, to listen to him because he makes great business sense. . And if you look at it, if you look at people who are doing really well in business, they're actually, you can use their advice also for friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But anyway, we were talking and yeah, that's how, how I was doing, I'm like, Oh, you know, finally got through, unpacking the last box. You know, it's been nuts. , he's like, I move too, he. Uh, I think a month and a half before we did, or two months before we did. Mm-hmm. And, and I do recall when we met in this huge forum through Podfest. I think he glanced at our podcast. He didn't know about us. But he was like, Oh, friendship. Well if you're gonna do it, I hope you're doing it on. Like how do I actually teach people to make friends? I'm like, I'm like, Is he talking to me? I think he was talking to me. Cause we were the only ones with a friendship podcast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You talking to me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't see nobody else. You must be talking to me. And I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> was thinking, Well if you only listen, you do realize that every episode actually, we get into that. Right. We get into all aspects of life, which is all about connecting with one another. Anyway, we were talking. So anyway, this episode is especially for you, Adam.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Adam from Podcasting Business School podcast. All right, here we go. So, you know, go back actually, And there are, we just moved, right? So he wanted, Adam wants to know, well, how do you make friends when you move to a new town? Right. My thing is, let's just rephrase that. You don't have to move to be in that situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How do you make friends when your life has changed? How do you make friends when your life has completely changed? And that could be a move. Things change, you're in a completely different </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> situation. Well, new job or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> absolutely. Somebody passes away or you give birth. Things open and close. Things happen, and life changes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's when you start looking around to see, do I have friends for real around me? Someone I can call to be with me, to hold my hand, Someone I can just walk down the street with someone to be my witness in life. And, and I'm not saying Matt just is smirking at me right now by being your witness, I mean, look, I'll just use us as an example.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt and I have experienced and seen some stuff and I'm like, Thank God you were standing next to me because that was absurd. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But you saw what I saw. You heard what I heard. You experienced what I experienced. We need that. We need that. Other way we, we feel like we're going nuts. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:27]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Especially when we try and explain it to someone else and they're like that. You obviously misinterpreted or. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. You're making it up or Yeah, I know. Yeah. You misunderstood. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can't believe that. No. Dot dot. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Right. So here we go. How do we make friends when your life has completely changed or changed a little bit?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Whatever, you've, you've gone through a transition. Like that transition word always scared me. Like I remember hearing that word pop up, uh, about, I don't know, 10 years. Transition. You're going through transition. I'm like, what? It just, I don't know. It, it, it's too much. Whatever. Life is about change, life is about transformation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So how do you make friends when you're going through a transformation? And if you go back a few episodes, that's really what we have been talking about because that's what Matt and I have been going through. Major, major transformation. And if you go back, look at the episode called</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> "Earth is a Small Town and Everyone is Your Friend" because that's our first time going out in public. And actually, remember Matt, we went to a coffee shop in town where we moved to and did a recording. We got permission from the coffee shop, we got permission from everybody. We all sat down and kind of took over this coffee shop in one area, and did an in person with some people we became friends with, some really cool people we became friends with and. Really what you're gonna hear on that episode or what you hear on that episode is our very first conversation other than, Hi, nice to meet you. Uh, you know, figuring out what you have in common really quick, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's hang out sometime, right? So our, let's hang out next time was we just took all our quiet recording gear, right? , We showed up and had coffee and we started the conversation. And so I think it's a good example of how to do that, because we talked about how we all met, how we were all feeling before we even said hello to each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what was going on in our minds? What, you know, the dialogue that pops up that makes you think, I can't talk to this person. Mm-hmm. , for whatever reason, like we all, explained what was happening in our minds when we first met, that would've kept us from talking, that would've kept us from becoming friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But we pushed through, We all pushed through somehow, and then we got into, well, how do you keep a friend? How do you go beyond that meeting and speaking, being brave enough to speak and actually getting together and, you know, we talked about poop. We talked about , how everybody gets. Meaning that everybody goes through something and you end up getting offended or offending someone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And in our society, in our culture, well that's the end of the friendship right there. Right? Why? You know? Right. And if you really want to have a blossoming, beautiful flowering friendship, you, everybody poops, . Everybody is poopy at some point. And you have to decide how you can move through. , and I'm not saying move through all of it because some people are poopy and you don't, you should not be around that at all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that's not what we're talking about. We're just talking about, little idiosyncrasies or little hangups that can happen. Misunderstandings. Right, right. And having the ability to see what it is and move through it. So that's a good episode. "Earth is a small town and everyone is your friend."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's the episode you should look into. It was just a few episodes back. Also we did an episode. How you End is How you Begin, and it talks about exactly that, that whether it's starting a new job or moving to a new place, starting something new. Look at how you're ending something, even if it doesn't seem like it's related, always end on a clear note. In order for it not to show up again, make sure you tie up all loose ends emotionally, physically, in every way. And then there was that other episode we did the FedEx delivery. When you look at ways the world could just show you openings to make a friend, you have to take it open that door. Don't be afraid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's an opportunity for you that you normally may skip over. So that's what that episode is talking about, the FedEx Delivery. And a common thing that Matt and I do is we have a notebook. So we did a whole episode on the Notebook, and it's not like that scary, sad movie. It's actually , it's actually a tool we use</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to not only keep track of our thoughts and our daily magical things that happen, writing them down, it's a way to understand things better for yourself and also understanding other people. Cuz you're, you're taking note, you're really paying attention. Anyway, back to Adam. So let's start, how do you make friends when you first moved to a new place or</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> your life has changed. So we did it. I'll start off by saying, I get it. I get it. We have so much we're taking care of. We are tired, we feel so stressed out. Right? There are so many things going on, especially in the United States, and I think actually it's now happening around the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:09]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> world, and especially when you're in a state of transition.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> All of a sudden something in your life is kind of thrown </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:15]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> up in the air </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and things are breaking. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:18]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my Lord, don't get me started on breakage </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> today. Our refrigerator seems to be doing some crazy wackadoodle stuff. Anyway, . Um, but every day, every day it's something. Just when you think, Oh my God, I can barely handle this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:33]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Something else comes along and I get it. You don't, you don't have time to go out and drive somewhere meet someone and talk to them. This is gonna sound terrible, but I'm going to use the word forced. I force myself to go out there several levels when I, it's hard for me, being a germophobe even before the pandemic, to suddenly be around a bunch of people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right, Right. And in person. In person. So I've made myself go out there without a mask and sit with people and actually hug people and start conversations where truthfully, I would rather be in our little home that I've finally put together where it's cozier and I can enjoy the, all the knickknacks that I put out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Enjoy a nice cup of tea and just be quiet because I've been going, going, going for so long and things have been so stressful. Yeah, it's easier to stay at home and curl up under a beautiful fluffy blanket and watch days of our lives. That's what I do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Don't judge me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> too</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> late, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So whatever it is you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It is hard to get over that inertia. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> big time. Especially like waking up on a random Sunday and just being like, I could just stay home all day, but anyways, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or I have to take care of the kids. I have to cook, I have to do laundry, I have to fix this. I have to take care of this appointment. There's a lot going on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My job, everything. I know it sounds bad, but I forced myself to do this. And then when I, I remember like, um, okay, so recently I met some new people and we said, Okay, let's meet at this coffee shop. And I would sit in the car and I would have to push myself to get outta the car because I'm like, I felt like I was going on a job interview</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And, and you know what? There are a lot of similarities. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because you're going into something new, they may turn you down. Right you're trying to show exactly who you are in a short span of time </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and yet a good version of yourself. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, not me, I don't care. Everybody's, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> everybody's got ugliness to them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think I, I, I show the ugly, I, I show all of it, like I said, to show all about myself because I'd rather you see all the things that you may not like about me from the beginning, because if you're not in it with me, then I'd rather know immediately. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there are levels. I typically don't let people know for a while that I'm vegan just because it, it, there's so much baggage that goes along with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But you know what? That's your hangup. Who cares. Who cares what you eat? Nobody cares </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> what? What you eat. You know what? People do care. Sadly, they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do. Yes. That's because they're judging. Is that why? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> one of the guys I work with smokes meat, for goodness sake, . Okay? Another guy was going on vacation to go fishing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's what they do. You see, you're judge. Are you judging them? I'm not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> judging them, but I don't, I want them to be, Feel free to share that information with me. I know people and not feel uncomfortable about it. And plus, there's the whole stigma about being vegan. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay? I know it must </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> be this way, that way the other way, it's the same way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> If you tell somebody you're born again, Christian, there's baggage that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> comes along with that. You know what? . I think my, my way of going about things is, look, I'm a vegan. I'm not standing on a soapbox kind of vegan I am. This is what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, You're defending and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> justifying. Yeah. Because I have to just let 'em know, Look, I'm not gonna rain on your parade for smoking meat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. I'm not gonna rain on your parade because you're eating fish. I don't , you know, live and let live. True. I'm just telling you. Right. I don't do that. I'm with you, but I'm not judging you for doing it. Okay. Absolutely. Most of the time. So anyway, . Well, I mean, if you're gonna, nevermind, if you're gonna really get into like why we're vegan, it's atrocious, atrocious, atrocious, atrocious, atrocious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway. What happens to all living beings, including plants? Way, I wanna get into it. Whatever. So do you, You understand? You get the gist of what I'm saying, right? All right. So I'm sitting in my car and I'm like, Oh, I don't wanna go in. I'm scared but I did it anyway. And it was so funny because as I was talking to this woman and Tracy, Hello, She actually said the same thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> She said the same. I didn't say it. I did not say it, but she said it. She said she was having a hard time coming here and her daughter had to talk her into it. . See? Oh, it'll be fun. It'll be fun. You're meeting someone new. You're gonna have coffee. Yay. You have, everybody has these feelings. You just have to get over it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:29]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's like jumping into a beautiful lake, but you don't want to because it's gonna be a shocking cold temperature or something. Whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable for a few seconds. But Once you're in there, the water's fine and you can open your arms and glide and enjoy, and it's the same thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's the same thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So how do you make friends when you first move into a town? When you go about your daily business, you're going to the grocery store, you probably have to go to the hardware store cause things are breaking where you're living. Hello? You are going, Where else have we gone? Oh, dealing with the trash, you know, recycling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There are people around you all the time. People you normally ignore. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:17]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Frankly, I know, and I, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> know for whatever reason, class issues. Do you, do you talk to your male person? Do you talk to the person who picks up the recycling, picks up garbage? They are human beings. Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> True. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. So, yes. The UPS person, the FedEx person, Shout out to Kenny.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ups. Thank you so much. I see him on the street now and I'll wave like a crazy person and it takes him a second to go. Oh yeah, that's that lady. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's a crazy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> With all the boxes anyway. There are opportunities everywhere. That's where the notebook comes in. Write everything down. Who you meet, what's their name, what do they like, what's they look like?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> don't know. Right? I take notes as far as like per um, if they tell me they have a spouse and their name or a birthday or whatever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So there's all these things to do. And don't forget the neighbors. Sending thank you cards for everything. Have a stack of thank you cards. People are shocked. The, uh, plumber came in and we spent so many dollars, like, Oh my god, thousands.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:28]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we, there was a lot of interesting things </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to fix. I gave him a thank you card while he was here. Mm-hmm. , and he was shocked, of course. He's like, No one's ever given me a thank you card, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. They just gimme money and that's good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But I, I gave him a thank you card and, and. Piece of advice because he's like, What is this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is interesting. I would like to try it too. It was a filter we were using and he had to install it. And, um, yeah, like I, I don't trust our water system anywhere. I don't, I don't trust the government taking care of stuff. I don't. And hello, we're now finding out yes, all these places have problems with water.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So yeah, I have a special device for making sure the water is clean. and the plumber didn't know about it, about this particular thing, so whatever. I gave him the info. Right. And I also thanked him for helping our home. Mm-hmm. , making our home better. But, you know, made friends there, you know, made friends with everyone We have come into contact with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And now Matt, you are seeming like you're totally on board. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> do, don't I? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and everything. But have you actually taken this advice fully because Okay, you meet someone, you say hi, you may even go out for coffee with them. People tend to drop the ball there. It's like, Okay, I've Enough</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:50]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> true </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> BYE no, you need to keep at it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You need to keep your muscles, It's like running. Yeah, you can run for five seconds. You can't go. Okay I did it! No, keep going. There's a hump that you need to go over, if that makes any sense. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It No, it totally does </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> until it becomes normal. Right. You know, like, um, a long time ago I worked for the Aveda Corporation and the ceo, the owner of the corporation, always talked about synthetic things like a synthetic scent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And how our noses are so accustomed to smelling fabricated things, synthetic chemicals that we think these synthetic chemicals are natural, right? A lot of products that exist out there, it's not really coming from a plant. It is a chemical that's produced in a lab that's really not good for you. People will smell or eat something and think this is natural, but once your body</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> comes into contact with the source of nature, it remembers exactly what the truth is, and that's with everything in life. When you come into contact with it, your body knows. Your soul knows what is going on. Your soul, your nose knows this is actual Jasmine I'm smelling. This is actual coffee I'm smelling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So you know what true friendship feels like when you come in contact with it and then soon it will become the natural way of things, the way it used to. And I think that we can get there in our society. We can do that. But we have to flex our muscles again and we have to maybe be uncomfortable for a few minutes, but we can get there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt is taking notes, if you heard tick tick. I could hear that . Anyways, so, So we're talking, but Matt, have you been doing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So anyways? Mm-hmm. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm. What's going on, Matt? Not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> too, The thing about it is, folks, yes, my wife is 100% right? Absolutely. No question. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why do you say my wife, Like the king of the hill, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyways, so Matt's wife is absolutely correct , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so messed up,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, the thing is, is you know, when you go out into the world, You have to A, be patient, and B, have an incredible sense of curiosity about you. You're gonna find those things to ask questions about and people are much more comfortable talking to you if you're asking them questions, and certainly questions about things that they're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> interested in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes, Yes. Matt, you sound very wise, but tell Tell our friends the truth. What is happening? Well, no, that's the truth. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is absolutely the truth. No, the truth is I have been very impatient. Mm-hmm. And just, I just want to get done with whatever it is I'm out in the world </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to do. Our neighbor has been wanting to make friends with Matt going out of his way to get special stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He totally has. And you like when they show up at the door, you're like, I don't even know how to describe it to you guys. Matt just stands there, grabs it and runs away like. You're like a robot. Like, and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm like, What happened? I, And you did this several times and that's just it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What's happening? Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What's going on right now is, unfortunately, or fortunately, my next door neighbor, he is too quick witted for me. , This never happens. He's like, bam, fast and funny, and I'm, I'm struggling. I can't keep up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So don't, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So we fence, we don't talk. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But why do you need to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> fence? I need to stop that. And I'm in the process of stopping that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:50]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's hard. So does that mean you're in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I like being the funny </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> guy. Oh, honey. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh honey, you are not funny. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt, you're funny when you're not funny. You're funny when you're trying not to be funny. I don't wanna be accidentally funny. You know what? You're funny when truly you are not thinking about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, have you noticed? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:14]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And that's the problem. I'm thinking too much. Exactly, and fencing too much, and I have to stop doing that. I have to be, I'm not being, I'm not being truly genuine because I want to be funny. Ding, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ding, ding. Genuine. Be yourself. My God. That's my, Is that what you wrote down? What's that word right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, I can't, It's a squiggle. It looks like it says glucose, but it means it is genuine. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what happened?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:43]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm the funny one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, but what happened when? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What happened to what? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All of a sudden you're like, you freeze up. I know. Well, because I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> trying to think of like the funniest thing to say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, but you know better I, what happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm also busy still grappling with my workmates. I, I made progress with one of them this week, which was very, very awesome. And my work mates, it's especially difficult </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and I, you know, I'm, you know, we obviously we have work in common, but it's, it's about finding more than that and it's about being genuine inside of that. And then there's the politics of, of work as well. Because we look at what each other does, and we help each other and we we teach each other. So it's, it's an interesting delicate balancing act to maintain all of this and still maintain a professional </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> attitude.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:35]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> All right. Well, let's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> get back to how do you make friends when you move into a new place? You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:39]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> need to be patient. You need to be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> curious. No. If you say you need to be patient, people are just gonna just stay home. And like not do anything because you have to let go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> of being patient. You have to let go of your busy life and you have to go out there and do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:55]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You have to just do it. Well, the trick is the trick with, Okay, so the trick with me is that I'm always in a hurry when I'm out. I guy shop everywhere, which just means I know the five things I, I need to get. I've already in my head mapped out how to get 'em and I get out. Boom, boom, boom. Fast as I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> can. And actually you have gotten mad at me because you're like, you're like pointing to and tapping your watch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:19]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I'm trying to make a connection at the store. Yeah. Stop it. Gosh. Right, right. And that's where I make all my friends is at when we're out and about. But you are very well, Did I do that to you? Y. I don't remember. No, yesterday was great, but I did feel the pressure because you, you do usually do that to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I was feeling like, and I was trying to muscle through it. I, I, I was trying </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:44]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to muscle through it. Yes. But I could still feel it. I was like, Ugh. So I literally turned to the person and said, Look, can we just exchange phone numbers real quick? My husband is impatient. . That's what I said. And she's like, Yeah, sure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And we just exchanged phone numbers. I said, I'll, I'll, I'll text you . And there you go. And, but you know, my God, it was like I had to be brave enough to tell her what was going on. Like I just told her, Look, I wanna, I wanna hang out with you. Right? That's it. Boom. I just said it, right? I said it. I said, and then I had to instigate it cuz people are not open usually to just giving out their phone numbers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . And if I feel that's happening, I'm like, here's my number. Always have something handy; something to write on and something to write with. Always have that with you. I actually wanna get cards again. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See cards feels a little too contrived, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but it's a little note card that could look pretty.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It doesn't have to be a business card; something that's inspiring with a quote on it. For something to remember you by. , You know, But back in the day, didn't they have calling cards for gentlemen? They, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:54]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, they had calling cards, period. Calling </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> cards. And what was that, in what century was that? Like 17th </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> century.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So I was reading a story that takes place in like the 1890s in Utah, and the wife went calling on somebody and left her card and they never got back to her. So that was 1890s. So, That's one instance in Utah of all places. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I would make a card, This is what I'm working on right now, making a little card, something you could stick on a wall that, that inspires people, like something with a pretty picture or a beautiful quote that's life affirming. And then have your number there, your name and number. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Whereas as a guy, I walk around with a notebook, just a skinny notebook that fits in my back pocket. And what I will do is I will have one or two, um, Sticky notes inside of it that are blank and I can write on those. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But I'm talking about something you can, you can give to someone else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then sticky notes get, Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can give somebody a sticky note. I can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do that. They get lost and it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:01]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like trash. Well, and it, it's also also about getting their stuff too. Something </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:05]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that doesn't seem like trash. I know. Something you wanna Hold on. I know. Anyway, so that's, that's another tip right there is to do that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, there's so many things on my mind right now adam? Adam, when you're new to town, it's like being on vacation, but you live there. You're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> also seeing things differently too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Take, take advantage when life has transformed into something totally different for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Take advantage of that. Even if it's grief that you're going through, take advantage of it because you're seeing things in a way that you normally don't see. Know you're, you're aware of things you're normally not aware of, and that's the perfect opportunity to make a wonderful life happen because you're not ignoring things around you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that's when you make beautiful connections. That's it. I mean, there's a lot more, That's why we have this podcast and we've been talking. For so long. Right. You know, and we still have not guys, we have, like I have a huge book of all it is, is ideas to share with you with. It's never ending. It is never ending.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:18]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The possibilities of all the ways that we can connect with one another, that we should be connecting with one another and like the weird things that are happening that make you go, What's up with this? You know what's up with that? Like last week we talked about the invisible line, like, like being an elephant and you're chained to a stake and then you grow up into an adult elephant and it, it's like a toothpick.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This stake, it can't hold you down, down, but you're still bound to it, but you're still bound to it. You're not! Break free. Make friends. Get out there. All right? And also save time to yourself so you can curl up under the blanket and watch Days of our Lives. Hehe. Anyway, Matt just bowed his head. He hates that show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:06]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I love it. I can, I just share with you, I watched, I, I became addicted to Days of Our Lives when I was a kid and it's when you get sick with the flu and you stay home and you realize all the shows that are on when you're at school. For me was Days of Our Lives and I got addicted and there were years where I didn't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:26]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But somehow I was you. They keep you in the loop somehow. You know, Like you still figure out what's happening. But for me, watching Days of Our Lives gave me the best life lessons, which is this don't lie. That's it. don't lie. Cause all the drama that happens is people not being truthful. There would be no show</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> if everyone was honest, . So you see all these things, all these, uh, troubles people get into because of lying, being deceitful. Anyway, that's it. Love you guys. Take care. Remember to go to our site, our friendly world podcast.com. Leave us a note. Love you. Love you, Adam. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye. Be well.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[How to make friends when life has changed? How do we make friends when our life has completely changed? And that change could be a move, it could be being in a completely different situation, a new job, people we love passing away, or we give birth, become parents, etc, etc. Things open and close. Things happen, and life changes. That's when we start looking around to see if we have friends for real around us; someone to call, to be with us, to hold our hand; someone we can just walk down the street with, someone to be our witness in life. How can we make friends when life has completely changed or changed a little bit?How do we make friends when we're going through a transformation?It's like jumping into a beautiful lake, but you don't want to because it's gonna be a shocking cold temperature or something. Whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable for a few seconds. But Once we're in there, the water's fine and we can open our arms, glide, and enjoy life.
In this episode, we discuss steps to take to make new friends in a new place.
 
 
How to move to make friends moving to a new place - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Okay. Hello. We are back. Here we are. 
[00:00:03] Matt: Hello everybody. How are you 
[00:00:04] Fawn: doing? Good job, Matt. . I was just telling Matt every time we start the show, hello? He just says hello. I'm like, it just sounds like I spliced your voice in saying hello like a puppet. No. Good. So here he is, everybody. Matt. Hello. Oh my God.
[00:00:24] Fawn: So. I made a new podcast friend last week. Actually we met weeks ago, but mm-hmm. . I was on his podcast. His name is Adam,
[00:00:35] Fawn: and 
[00:00:35] Fawn: his podcast is podcasting Business school. So check that out. I think, it's good even if you're not a podcaster, to listen to him because he makes great business sense. . And if you look at it, if you look at people who are doing really well in business, they're actually, you can use their advice also for friendship.
[00:00:57] Fawn: But anyway, we were talking and yeah, that's how, how I was doing, I'm like, Oh, you know, finally got through, unpacking the last box. You know, it's been nuts. , he's like, I move too, he. Uh, I think a month and a half before we did, or two months before we did. Mm-hmm. And, and I do recall when we met in this huge forum through Podfest. I think he glanced at our podcast. He didn't know about us. But he was like, Oh, friendship. Well if you're gonna do it, I hope you're doing it on. Like how do I actually teach people to make friends? I'm like, I'm like, Is he talking to me? I think he was talking to me. Cause we were the only o...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:26</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Invisible Lines We Must Cross to Live a Fulfilled Life and Be Able to Create Great Friendships/Relationships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 31 Oct 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1308010</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-invisible-lines-we-must-cross-to-live-a-fulfilled-life-and-be-able-to-create-great-friendshipsrelationships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>The invisible line, the invisible barriers that we need to be aware of that will set us free. So the invisible barriers we are dealing with that hold us to certain places in situations, the invisible barriers invisible lines that keep us from connecting to each other.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're all over the place and they come in so many different forms. We discuss some invisible acts of power when once we realize and are aware of them, allow us to break free from the chains that bind us and keep us from living a free life and enable us to create beautiful friendships/relationships.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Invisible Line - TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello everybody. Welcome back. Hello. So the invisible line, the invisible barriers that we need to be aware of that will set us free. So the invisible barriers we are dealing with that hold us to certain places in situations, the invisible barriers invisible lines that keep us from connecting to each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They're all over the place and they come in so many different forms. But first of all, what are some invisible acts of power? We already did a show, remember with Rachel Chevalier from France, and we talked about grid lines, power lines, right? That are deep in the earth that you can't see. But your body definitely feels, and it changes your health, it changes everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Lay lines. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Remember that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Absolutely. Is it red blood cells? They're affected by magnetism. It's one of those weird things. It's one of the reasons why, No, it's something in the blood. It's not the red blood cells, but it's something in the blood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We have this in our bodies, determine which way north is, which is a bizarre </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> thing. Like birds have it right? It's a mineral that exists that it, it's some sort of, Metal or something. Some kind of metal that I think birds have more of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> More </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> iron in the blood. That's what it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I thought it was something else like, I don't know. Whatever. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Cause I don't wanna get into the science of it. I wanna get into the energetics of it. I mean, which is still science....</span></span></p>]]>
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                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The invisible line, the invisible barriers that we need to be aware of that will set us free. So the invisible barriers we are dealing with that hold us to certain places in situations, the invisible barriers invisible lines that keep us from connecting to each other.
They're all over the place and they come in so many different forms. We discuss some invisible acts of power when once we realize and are aware of them, allow us to break free from the chains that bind us and keep us from living a free life and enable us to create beautiful friendships/relationships.
 
The Invisible Line - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello everybody. Welcome back. Hello. So the invisible line, the invisible barriers that we need to be aware of that will set us free. So the invisible barriers we are dealing with that hold us to certain places in situations, the invisible barriers invisible lines that keep us from connecting to each other.
[00:00:24] Fawn: They're all over the place and they come in so many different forms. But first of all, what are some invisible acts of power? We already did a show, remember with Rachel Chevalier from France, and we talked about grid lines, power lines, right? That are deep in the earth that you can't see. But your body definitely feels, and it changes your health, it changes everything.
[00:00:51] Fawn: Lay lines. 
[00:00:52] Fawn: Remember that? 
[00:00:52] Matt: Yes. Absolutely. Is it red blood cells? They're affected by magnetism. It's one of those weird things. It's one of the reasons why, No, it's something in the blood. It's not the red blood cells, but it's something in the blood.
[00:01:03] Matt: We have this in our bodies, determine which way north is, which is a bizarre 
[00:01:08] Fawn: thing. Like birds have it right? It's a mineral that exists that it, it's some sort of, Metal or something. Some kind of metal that I think birds have more of.
[00:01:21] Fawn: More 
[00:01:21] Matt: iron in the blood. That's what it is. 
[00:01:23] Fawn: I thought it was something else like, I don't know. Whatever. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Cause I don't wanna get into the science of it. I wanna get into the energetics of it. I mean, which is still science....]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Invisible Lines We Must Cross to Live a Fulfilled Life and Be Able to Create Great Friendships/Relationships]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>The invisible line, the invisible barriers that we need to be aware of that will set us free. So the invisible barriers we are dealing with that hold us to certain places in situations, the invisible barriers invisible lines that keep us from connecting to each other.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're all over the place and they come in so many different forms. We discuss some invisible acts of power when once we realize and are aware of them, allow us to break free from the chains that bind us and keep us from living a free life and enable us to create beautiful friendships/relationships.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Invisible Line - TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello everybody. Welcome back. Hello. So the invisible line, the invisible barriers that we need to be aware of that will set us free. So the invisible barriers we are dealing with that hold us to certain places in situations, the invisible barriers invisible lines that keep us from connecting to each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They're all over the place and they come in so many different forms. But first of all, what are some invisible acts of power? We already did a show, remember with Rachel Chevalier from France, and we talked about grid lines, power lines, right? That are deep in the earth that you can't see. But your body definitely feels, and it changes your health, it changes everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Lay lines. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Remember that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Absolutely. Is it red blood cells? They're affected by magnetism. It's one of those weird things. It's one of the reasons why, No, it's something in the blood. It's not the red blood cells, but it's something in the blood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We have this in our bodies, determine which way north is, which is a bizarre </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> thing. Like birds have it right? It's a mineral that exists that it, it's some sort of, Metal or something. Some kind of metal that I think birds have more of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> More </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> iron in the blood. That's what it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I thought it was something else like, I don't know. Whatever. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Cause I don't wanna get into the science of it. I wanna get into the energetics of it. I mean, which is still science. Nevermind what I just said, . But what I'm trying to say is, You know, there are also EMFs, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Electro magnetic fields. Electric, is it electric or electromagnetic field?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:46]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> electromagnetic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, so, you know, microwaves or radio waves, there's all this stuff that we can't see true. So there's that. But what I'm talking about are like, in our society, these invisible lines that half of the population doesn't cross.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:02]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> For example, there's so many different examples, but one example I have is I had, you know, I grew up in la there were so many kids that had never seen the ocean, and they were like 10 miles away. I'm like, You've never in your life seen the ocean. We, we, we live right there in L.A. And they're like, No. And then as I got older, I realized why. There is this invisible, um, fence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:31]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That keeps certain people out of certain </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> neighborhoods. And there's also the level of comfort, right? I'm uncomfortable getting away from wherever it is. I am. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But why that, that level of uncomfortableness that exists was placed there for a reason by some force to keep people separat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:54]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway, I'm trying not to get negative here. So anyway, invisible acts of power. When I tell you that, when I say invisible acts of power, what comes to your mind? Like for me, I'm thinking about ghosts, angels, random acts of kindness. Of course, I think about the invisible fences, and I just brought up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Kindness, compassion. There's also going back to the science of it, there's magnetic force, electrical force, there's external forces and internal forces like, and I know I'm getting into science, but here we go, like a tree trembling due to wind. That would be an external force. You can't see it, but you see the tree trembling something's making the tree tremble.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or something's making me tremble when I feel something that's scary or something makes me feel a certain way. I'm like, We gotta get outta here. Right? Which happens a lot, . Yes, it does. Or we're anywhere. It could be anywhere. I'm like, We gotta get outta here. And now we've been together long enough where Matt doesn't really question it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He's like, Okay, let's go</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:06]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. See, Whereas I think of it as invisible forces for me, you know, music plays such an important part of my life, but it's not, it's not, You can't see music necessarily unless somebody's literally performing it in front of you. But you can hear it invisible though. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:24]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's also when people come together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:28]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> A group of people come together for whatever purpose and when you're actually like part of that purpose, you can feel a sense of belonging that's very warm and fuzzy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or like going back to the tree, talking about external forces, forces that help the trees stay in the same position and stops it from falling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's some internal force that's making that happen. There's some internal force that helped me survive growing up with my family. Everybody else in the family behaved a certain way and I didn't. Right. I ended up having a completely different life than them. What Invisible force led me there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:07]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What? Invisible Forest helped me out. What? Invisible Forest helped me out when I remember. I was in Wisconsin. I lived on the border of Wisconsin and Minnesota, and there was this one day, it was very cold. The ground was slippery, icy. The highways are, they're not like the 405</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:30]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> in Los Angeles where you have like an eight lane highway , right? It's, it's basically one or two lanes, that's it. And two lanes could be both directions. Mm-hmm. . So one direction has only one lane, right? So anyway, And then you get onto a highway that's also. A, a two directional lane with only two lanes, if that makes sense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Does that make sense? Am I making sense? You make sense to me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:58]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's a small road. Yes. Like it's, it looks like a country road, but it's like a highway. Right? Right. It's not, If you're from a big city, you would never consider that a highway. But it's a highway. Right. And that's where the big Semit trucks go by and big trucks go by anyway.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was trying to turn right to get home I saw this big, huge semi drug coming and I thought, and I was young and stupid, I thought, Oh, I can just floor it, press the gas pedal really fast. Right? Absolutely. And like, just get in front of it so I can get home already. And I thought I had enough time. Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:37]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I kid you not, I. I, I felt my foot press all the way down and then, and I didn't have an automatic, Wait, what's it called when you don't have, you didn't have a stick shift. I did not have a, or a transmission. Right. It was not a manual car. It was one of those whatever automatic cars that most people drive in the United States.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right, right. All right. So I floored and all of a sudden, and the radio was on . All of a sudden the entire car stopped. It froze. It didn't even just stop because I was rolling. I was, I was, I was rolling. The car was moving forward. Mm-hmm. , But it stopped as if a giant had my car that was a toy car and just, just stopped it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:24]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And the radio froze, like everything stopped, all the lights in the car, on the dashboard, everything went black. And at that precise second, the, the semi-truck was already passed. So had my car gone forward, I would've gotten completely smashed. Right? Flattened. So what invisible force is there, You know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:55]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. And it sounds unbeliev. Unless you were me being in that, in that situation. Right. You know what I mean? It sounds like I'm making it up, but I kid you not like that's what happened. All right. So I don't know there, there are forces out there, but mainly I've always thought that there has been some force that has stopped people, I think especially so only United States.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Stop them from connecting and developing friendships that are family type friendships, and I can break it down into forces that are physical, like everybody has to work and everybody's so busy and so wrapped up in all the things that they have to get done, that they're exhausted, that as much as you wanna reach out and hang out with someone, you're so tired.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And unable to make it happen. Mm-hmm. . I think that's a huge downfall in our society because we're left alone, we're left to fend for ourselves, and then you get that constant, I don't know how it is in other countries anymore because it's been a while since I've left, but I don't know what it's like in other places right now, but I can tell.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The thing that you hear over and over and over again in the American culture is pull yourself up by your bootstraps. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:21]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh God, you hate that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I hate that. I don't even know what that, That doesn't even make any sense. How can you pull yourself up from your shoelaces?, you know what I'm saying? But it's a saying that means, what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What does it even mean? I, I, I assume I know what it means, which is just do it yourself. It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:36]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> means starting from nothing and becoming something, I suppose, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:40]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> all by yourself. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. No, I'm getting no help </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> from nobody. Nobody's gonna help you. You're in it by yourself. Right? And there is such great pride in doing things by yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:53]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I didn't even realize that this was hitting home in our family until a couple weeks ago. Because as much as this has been on my mind for a very long time, for like a couple decades, I've been thinking about this very same thing of why in America we need to do everything ourselves, which is ironic because why do we have so many Imports.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:15]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, like, we don't make things ourselves anymore. Do you know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:19]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, I get it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:20]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But because I've been so aware of this, I have thought that, well, for sure I'm promoting the idea that we need to work together. Everything needs to be cooperative. Even raising our kids, we made sure we had toys that were cooperative.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:35]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So when we played games, it wasn't, well, most games, not the games that Matt plays. You know, I always chose games where we all get together,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:45]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And for the common good to combine our resources and to combine our mental capacities for one common goal. So it's not one person wins, it's we win together. We create together. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Yeah, absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So having said all that, I was thinking of our friend Majora, who years ago when Elle was very, very little.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Elle was four years old, and Majora came to visit and after her visit with us when she was back home, she was like, I was really inspired by Elle who kept saying " i, I made it myself", and she was very emphatic about myself. I did it myself. I'm like, Oh, you know, and I, and I, and I thought that I was proud of that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And for years, up until recently, I was like, Yeah, , you know, my, our daughter is so strong and like she does it herself. And then two weeks ago, I don't know, something whispered in my ear, an invisible force. I don't know. But it whispered in my ear, like it told me where it came from. I'm like, Oh my God. It came from me because all along, all my stories,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> if you think about it, all my stories are "I did it myself". I taught myself how to ride a bike. I taught myself how to swim, which </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is a frightening thing when you think about it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. As a little kid, I taught myself how to swim. . I taught myself pretty much everything because I didn't really have the kind of parents that were there to like teach me stuff like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. or do stuff with me like that. I did it myself. I got myself to college. I did it myself. I paid for it myself. I took myself on a plane in secret to go meet with the dean of this big school to get myself in. I did it myself, and I've been telling these stories all along and I realized, Oh no, I've perpetuated this thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:49]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's been this invisible force. It's been me perpetuating this idea of do it yourself. And I'm like, Oh my God. That's where Elle got it from. Two weeks ago, I just came to that conclusion, you know, isn't that a, Isn't that a bitch? Like you think you're doing good parenting and you're like, Oh my. I've been actually giving the opposite message of what I believe in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> are points where you need to come together as a tribe, as a family, and there are points in time where you do have to figure it out yourself though. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, but I was, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:23]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that's just it. There are times for both, not exclusively. I do it myself and not exclusively. I do it as, as </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:33]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a group. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There is such a yin and yang with everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:36]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There should be a balance, right? Yes. So like we're looking at two different things. We're looking at, Matter has two forms. We have one that is particle and the other is a wave. And it's the wave that we can't necessarily see unless you develop your vision a certain way, unless you look at things a certain way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You can't really see the waves. You can't see the invisible forces. Well, you can't see the wind. Sometimes you can. Right, Right. Sometimes you, Sometimes you can, if there's like a, some dew or, Or misty </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:12]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or smoke </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:13]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or, Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Smoke or like you were talking about the campfire and you can see the waves of heat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or on a hot day when you're looking at asphalt, you can see the waves. Yep. Of heat, so sometimes you can see it, but just things that are invisible to the eye, but things that are invisible to us, that are keeping us from connecting to one another. What is that? Let's take a look at that and let's at least become aware of the possibility.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:46]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Is there something that's not said that is keeping us from each other, that is keeping us from being together. You know, we can get away from the idea of, , or the facts of we're all working so hard, our time is incredibly limited. And, and it becomes a habit. It becomes this chain, like I've described on our show before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like it's the baby elephant that is chained to a steak and it can only walk a certain distance that the chain won't allow it. It's chained to a steak, and as the elephant grows older, it's no longer chained to it, but it feels like it is, so it never thinks of moving away. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:34]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. Well, it is still chained, but it's a chain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:37]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It can easily break as it gets older. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:39]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes, that's true. Because it's so powerful </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:41]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because it's, it, it, yeah. Elephants become so much more powerful, but they're held in place by that thought, by that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:47]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> belief, by that invisible force, which is the thought, and I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, I think part of it comes from, oh yes, we get so experienced and so old and like when.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:02]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> When you're like six, when you're in elementary school, you know, um, it's enough to like hang out and you'll get invited to play. Or you can say to somebody else, Hey, let's go to the swings, or whatever it is, right? And then you start looking back and you're like, Eh, that's so juvenile. That's so ridiculous on some level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:25]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So you get locked into this world of you have to be cool or you have to be sophisticated, or you have to be, And so you're unwilling to break through these barriers. You're unwilling, you know, you see somebody wearing a shirt from your favorite band and, and you stop. Sometimes you will talk to 'em, sometimes you won't, but you stop and you're like, Should I talk to this person?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:45]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And like you'd, it's almost like you need some kind of a go ahead from them that it's okay to like say, Hey, what's up? And most people won't offer that. . So you just don't talk to them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, because So what force exists to not even have that? Like, why do you have that wall up? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't wanna be spurned. I don't want somebody going, You're ridiculous.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:08]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're a clown.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:09]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. This is gonna be a little bit, different, but for some reason I thought of this story, but talking about invisible forces. Are there, that they're there. We're constantly communicating with one another. You don't have to even wait for a physical signal. You know, a physical signal being like a, a glance that says, Hey, you can ask me a question.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. I think that much like EMFs out there, electoral magnetic fields, that, or microwaves, radio waves, they're still there. Yes. It's like you have to just tune into a. Frequency to hear it. Like you turn on a radio and you turn it to a certain, dial a certain number, 95.6, and it turns you to this kind of music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Whereas 95.8 would be something else; completely different style of music. I just think that all these things are there and we're picking up on it, and I think as soon as we realize there is that out there, then we can pick up on it. It's always there. So case in point, this was a few years ago, I was at a park with the kids and there was a basketball court.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:21]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know if I ever told you this story, Matt, but there were these big men, big tall basketball players. Okay? Big, big men. And they were playing basketball and you know, basketball is like, uh, very contact. Yes, very, very much so we. You can get hurt. Yes. So if there's a four year old, Well, no, she was like 5, 6, 6 years old.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The, the ball, the basketball bounced out of their bounds out of their court, and Elle was right there. And so when a kid sees a bouncing ball coming towards them, they're like, BALL!. Right. So she started running, She she grabbed the ball. Yeah. And she started bouncing it and running. , the basketball court while the, the big guys were still running back and forth and I was far away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:10]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. , I don't remember all the details. I think she just was about to touch the ball. She was starting to run with a ball, and so she was going to collide with these men. Ooh. And I didn't know if the men had the wherewithal to know there's a little kid mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that they could trample on. You know what I'm saying? Right. So in my head, I didn't say a word out loud, but I I am like, Please don't touch that ball. L l stop. I didn't say a word out. She got that message, and I'm telling you, much like the car that I just described to you, she just froze and stopped right there and let the ball go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:57]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it was so different. Like it was so like out of character for the situation for the kid to like be so like, yay ball to like, Oh, I'm gonna let this ball go like an electric shock. Like I'm not gonna touch. Even the men commented out loud. I could hear it from where I was. They're like, That's weird.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:22]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That kid just froze and stopped. That was weird. And they were like, That's weird. That's weird. They kept saying, That's weird. I'm like, Oh my God, it's still working. Cuz Elle and I always have had that connection, that nonverbal. , she can read my mind. Mm-hmm. and the, And vice versa. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:43]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like I remember one day when she was a baby, back when they're a baby and they're supposed to face, the rear of the car. In the back seat, right in the car seat. In the car seat. Like when they're infants, they're supposed to face rear. And then one of us would always be in the back seat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> As the other one drove the car</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:03]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> . Right. So Elle could see us,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:04]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so Elle could see us, but also if, if the baby cried, we'd be right there to help her and let her know that she's not alone. Right, right. I remember one day we were coming back from a photo shoot and I was in the backseat with her and she wanted something and I was just in the space of working.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was not in the space of loving mom that I normally would've been. So I handed her the toy. I'm like, Here, right? It was rude the way I did it, and she looked at me and she started crying. Sad, sad cry. The sad cry, not cry, like, I have a dirty diaper. I'm hungry. It was like I hurt her feelings, and I'll never ever forget that because it wasn't like I said anything, It was my, it was my vibe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:59]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was my unloving, this that wa It was my unnatural way of being. My natural way with Elle was everything I did every time ire her, every time I touched her, every time I fed her, every time I looked at her, it was with intention and calm and love, and it did not happen at that second, in that moment in time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:23]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But she and she felt it. Do you know what I'm saying? I. So that's another invisible force. You know what I'm saying? It was purely energetic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:31]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Well, you can feel, especially like if somebody's being especially like gracious towards you, you can feel that and, and maybe you perceive, maybe you see it because they're smiling more.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's crinkles by their, who knows? But it's more about how it feels. Mm-hmm. it. And you can tell the intent. If the intent is very cold and impersonal, you can feel that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So that's, that's pretty much what I wanted to talk about today was that. Let's all think about the, the invisible line that exists and let's try to cross it in a good way, in a loving way, and go to places we have never been to before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:16]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Places that the world is all of ours. It could be, a new part of the earth you have not visited. It could be going for a new career. It could be that invisible line as it always told you somehow that you're not meant to do anything else but this dead end job because that's what you're supposed to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:38]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We get so many messages like, Don't quit your day job. . You know what I'm saying? Yes. That fear that's in place that holds us down, where we feel like we're like this massive elephant. We are so much stronger than that little bracelet that's on us, where before we couldn't break free from, but we can break free from it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:01]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What invisible line is there that we're not crossing? What is that? And so just be aware of it. And I think that's enough for us to recognize one another and so when someone's walking past us on the sidewalk or anywhere that what the power of a smile can do, what just the feeling of compassion and love can do that is an invisible act of power, right there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:34]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Just to feel compassion and love and to never, ever walk past someone without acknowledging them that there is another life walking past you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:48]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sounds </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> good to me. Also, I would say try and go forward and in your interactions with people, if you automatically assume no malice and actually assume just that they're going to be lovely, I think your conversations can be different, and then I can actually say, Good for you, and the person will be happy about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:14]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, they have to know your heart first, so you can't go. But if you assume no malice, Well, it's not always apparent because people are wrapped up in, I know in whatever they're wrapped up in. They may not hear it or see it, so they misunderstand. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:32]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know, but I'm saying if you assume no malice, then maybe you won't misunderstand or you'll, you'll misunderstand, but you'll misunderstand that they're actually being nicer to you than they're meaning to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:42]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I think there needs to be an introduction before that happens sometimes, most of the time, until our society gets into a more comfortable state of being. And so what I would do is acknowledge the person is there by saying hello and remark, something that's totally remarkable. Like, you know, Matt, thank you for being so, um, I don't know what the word is, Matt, but you're not, you don't get bent out of shape.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:12]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So for example, last week we went to the coffee shop and we saw this man sitting, near us and I just looked at him and I knew that he needed connection and I genuinely, totally wanted to know what his story was, right? Like he made a comment right before we sat down. I'm like, You wouldn't have made that comment if you did not wanna connect to someone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:32]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you know what I'm saying? Right. Even though as soon as he made the comment, he was like, I'm busy, you know, like . But I said, Oh my goodness. Look at you. You are completely fascinating and beautiful. What is your story, man? He started giggling. Right? But what I'm saying is, Matt, most, some men would've been totally like upset.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:56]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like it would that constitute that I was flirting with another man. I wasn't. It was just, to me, another human being. Do you know what I'm saying? I do. It was not sexual or anything like that, but that was my introduction. Like that was my, a physical, um, act. I don't know compliment someone to give them an invitation that we're open to talking with you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. Or that we're acknowledging your presence. You are a remarkable human being. What is your story? What are you doing here, ? What are you doing? And he turned out to be this fascinating person, even though he was like, I'm busy, I gotta go. You. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:44]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, Right. And and ironically, when we, when you first asked him what he was up to, he's like, Yeah, I'm, I'm all about invisible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:51]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> S h i </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:52]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> t. Yeah. He was a professor who taught the whole dynamics of invisible. He, yeah. He, he phrased it in a very, um, CRAs way, but it was funny. It was, it was funny, funny, funny. It was intriguing, you know, to be a professor of that like, yeah, I think I know where you're coming from. It's right up our alley , right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:17]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then he is like, I have to, I'm working on this paper. I can't talk anymore. I'm like, Okay, sorry, . So, but I made sure as awkward as it, Like, Hey, here's our info. I really wanna see you again. Like I wanna talk more about what you're focusing on with your studies, with, with your teaching. I wanna know more, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:40]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So anyway, sometimes it's awkward, but who cares? I don't care. I don't care. I wanna collect with people. It's awkward sometimes because we're not used to it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:52]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Or we're not prepared. We're not prepared to meet anybody even though we're out in the world </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:57]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for goodness sake. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:58]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And the other side, if you, even if we are prepared, the other side may not be prepared.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:03]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. You know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:04]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And then it's about being, trying to be a good host and, trying to make sure the other person can feel as comfortable </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:10]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> as possible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:11]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's like, the old movies. The aliens come in the spaceship and they're like, We mean you no harm. I think that you need to express that to someone that you're meeting, like in some way express to them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:25]</span> <span style="color:#72b372;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, you no harm. I'm not trying to sell you something. I genuinely think you're interesting. . Hello. So that's it guys. Talk to you in a few days. Please reach out to us. Tell everyone you can to subscribe to our podcast and if you can leave a, a nice review for us. Thank you so much for tuning in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:49]</span> <span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We'll talk to you in just a few days. Again, go to our friendly world podcast.com and reach out to us. Talk to you soon. Be well. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The invisible line, the invisible barriers that we need to be aware of that will set us free. So the invisible barriers we are dealing with that hold us to certain places in situations, the invisible barriers invisible lines that keep us from connecting to each other.
They're all over the place and they come in so many different forms. We discuss some invisible acts of power when once we realize and are aware of them, allow us to break free from the chains that bind us and keep us from living a free life and enable us to create beautiful friendships/relationships.
 
The Invisible Line - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello everybody. Welcome back. Hello. So the invisible line, the invisible barriers that we need to be aware of that will set us free. So the invisible barriers we are dealing with that hold us to certain places in situations, the invisible barriers invisible lines that keep us from connecting to each other.
[00:00:24] Fawn: They're all over the place and they come in so many different forms. But first of all, what are some invisible acts of power? We already did a show, remember with Rachel Chevalier from France, and we talked about grid lines, power lines, right? That are deep in the earth that you can't see. But your body definitely feels, and it changes your health, it changes everything.
[00:00:51] Fawn: Lay lines. 
[00:00:52] Fawn: Remember that? 
[00:00:52] Matt: Yes. Absolutely. Is it red blood cells? They're affected by magnetism. It's one of those weird things. It's one of the reasons why, No, it's something in the blood. It's not the red blood cells, but it's something in the blood.
[00:01:03] Matt: We have this in our bodies, determine which way north is, which is a bizarre 
[00:01:08] Fawn: thing. Like birds have it right? It's a mineral that exists that it, it's some sort of, Metal or something. Some kind of metal that I think birds have more of.
[00:01:21] Fawn: More 
[00:01:21] Matt: iron in the blood. That's what it is. 
[00:01:23] Fawn: I thought it was something else like, I don't know. Whatever. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Cause I don't wanna get into the science of it. I wanna get into the energetics of it. I mean, which is still science....]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:53</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Confidante - The Art of Confession]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Oct 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1300296</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-confidante-the-art-of-confession</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>we all need someone that has our back. We all need someone to confide in. Today we explore the meaning of CONFESSION and realize that it is something more than a religious act; that it is a way to release negativity from our hearts. But how do we know which person or people in our lives we can trust to do this with?</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:x-large;"><strong>The Confidante - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There is a reason why so many songs can bring us such comfort. Like there's a song that says, Have little faith in me, and that's what we all need is to have someone that has our back. That's one of the parts of the art of Friendship, We have each other's backs, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That you know you're not alone, That when you're going through something that someone is there with you. Maybe they've gone through it already, or they can see better than you in certain circumstances. Today's show, I wanna talk about the confidant, and that came from confess. I was listening to Carolyn Myss. She brought up the whole point of, you know, everything's changing and so many religions and everything, and once you leave Earth, it's not about the religion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not, and that, but so many things have been thrown out. What's the saying, Matt? Like, thrown out with the bath water, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> throw the baby out with the bath water. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And one of the things that has been thrown out has been confession. And it made me think, And then we actually talk about, it's, it's so weird because on a parallel level we talk about the same stuff</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">carolyn May talks about, you probably don't even know who she is. Uh, sort of, okay. So. The whole idea of confession. I started looking into it. I'm like, Well, I, from my perspective, I understand, I don't really understand the religious, religious aspect of confession. Like what is it really there for? Do you know, Matt, did you have confession growing up in the religion you were raised in?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> goodness. Good Protestants. Don't do the confession. That was one of Martin Luther's issues with Catholicism. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What's wrong with confession? What I mean, what do you think confession is all about? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay, so confession, not unlike communism is a really, really great idea in kind of abstraction. But when you start involving humans into the mix, everything gets messed up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why? How so? </span></span></p>
<p><span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[we all need someone that has our back. We all need someone to confide in. Today we explore the meaning of CONFESSION and realize that it is something more than a religious act; that it is a way to release negativity from our hearts. But how do we know which person or people in our lives we can trust to do this with?
The Confidante - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: There is a reason why so many songs can bring us such comfort. Like there's a song that says, Have little faith in me, and that's what we all need is to have someone that has our back. That's one of the parts of the art of Friendship, We have each other's backs, right?
That you know you're not alone, That when you're going through something that someone is there with you. Maybe they've gone through it already, or they can see better than you in certain circumstances. Today's show, I wanna talk about the confidant, and that came from confess. I was listening to Carolyn Myss. She brought up the whole point of, you know, everything's changing and so many religions and everything, and once you leave Earth, it's not about the religion.
It's not, and that, but so many things have been thrown out. What's the saying, Matt? Like, thrown out with the bath water, 
[00:01:04] Matt: throw the baby out with the bath water. 
[00:01:06] Fawn: And one of the things that has been thrown out has been confession. And it made me think, And then we actually talk about, it's, it's so weird because on a parallel level we talk about the same stuff
carolyn May talks about, you probably don't even know who she is. Uh, sort of, okay. So. The whole idea of confession. I started looking into it. I'm like, Well, I, from my perspective, I understand, I don't really understand the religious, religious aspect of confession. Like what is it really there for? Do you know, Matt, did you have confession growing up in the religion you were raised in?
Oh my 
[00:01:44] Matt: goodness. Good Protestants. Don't do the confession. That was one of Martin Luther's issues with Catholicism. 
[00:01:50] Fawn: What's wrong with confession? What I mean, what do you think confession is all about? 
[00:01:55] Matt: Okay, so confession, not unlike communism is a really, really great idea in kind of abstraction. But when you start involving humans into the mix, everything gets messed up.
[00:02:08] Fawn: Why? How so? 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Confidante - The Art of Confession]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>we all need someone that has our back. We all need someone to confide in. Today we explore the meaning of CONFESSION and realize that it is something more than a religious act; that it is a way to release negativity from our hearts. But how do we know which person or people in our lives we can trust to do this with?</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:x-large;"><strong>The Confidante - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There is a reason why so many songs can bring us such comfort. Like there's a song that says, Have little faith in me, and that's what we all need is to have someone that has our back. That's one of the parts of the art of Friendship, We have each other's backs, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That you know you're not alone, That when you're going through something that someone is there with you. Maybe they've gone through it already, or they can see better than you in certain circumstances. Today's show, I wanna talk about the confidant, and that came from confess. I was listening to Carolyn Myss. She brought up the whole point of, you know, everything's changing and so many religions and everything, and once you leave Earth, it's not about the religion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not, and that, but so many things have been thrown out. What's the saying, Matt? Like, thrown out with the bath water, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> throw the baby out with the bath water. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And one of the things that has been thrown out has been confession. And it made me think, And then we actually talk about, it's, it's so weird because on a parallel level we talk about the same stuff</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">carolyn May talks about, you probably don't even know who she is. Uh, sort of, okay. So. The whole idea of confession. I started looking into it. I'm like, Well, I, from my perspective, I understand, I don't really understand the religious, religious aspect of confession. Like what is it really there for? Do you know, Matt, did you have confession growing up in the religion you were raised in?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> goodness. Good Protestants. Don't do the confession. That was one of Martin Luther's issues with Catholicism. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What's wrong with confession? What I mean, what do you think confession is all about? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay, so confession, not unlike communism is a really, really great idea in kind of abstraction. But when you start involving humans into the mix, everything gets messed up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why? How so? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, all of a sudden, if you're confessing to a priest, well, what stops the priest from telling people or threatening to tell people or any of the rest of that kind of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Isn't that their job? Not to? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, theoretically yes, but,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But you never know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. And also, you know what historically has happened Through the millennia too, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm-hmm. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . One of the reasons I don't like a middle man, one of the reasons why I don't go towards organized religion, but going to friendship again, just getting away from religion, I just wanted to let you know how my train of thought came about; what steps led me to thinking about confession and thinking about, well, what is the confidant?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it turns out that it is linked to confession. A confidant is, It's about trusting, It's having trust in from Latin confidere, and I'm mispronouncing it, so I'm just gonna spell it. It's C O N F I D E R E, meaning to put one's trust in to have confidence in, other descendants of "confidere" in English include confide confidence, confident,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and confidential. And the reason why I wanna talk about this today is, and, and how I'm trying to link it to the art of friendship is that confession is really there to release negativity, to release a burden that's on your heart or on, on your spirit, whatever you wanna call it. It, it's weighing you down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It could be anything from a deed to it could be just something you're having trouble with. Like for example, recently, it's me letting go of our youngest getting on a big, big bike and going out there on her own. And everybody else was cool with it and everybody was looking at me like, What's wrong with you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're such a helicopter mom. Like, let her just be on the bike. And I was like, and I was having trouble. And I was trying to talk to other moms who have more experience than I do. They've done it for longer years, and I just needed someone to say it's okay. And I didn't get that. I, I needed a confidant and I didn't have that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I felt like when I expressed my trepidation, my fears, it was like, Wow, what's wrong with you? You're so uptight, . But it's weird how it does come in different ways whatever you need. So a few days later, which is today we went to grab coffee and we ran into our friend Bill.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you Bill. And Bill, we briefly mentioned, Oh, we got bikes this week for the girls. And, and I briefly kind of nonchalantly said, Yeah, cuz I wasn't expecting anyone to be kind with me regarding how I felt about Ouch the girls being on the bike just because of the kind of, um, feedback I got from others.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, no one understood why I was feeling the way I did. You know what I'm saying? I got no, I got no sympathy, . And so Bill, who's such a tough guy on the exterior, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> he's very gruff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He just like looked at me with the kindest eyes and he said, Don't worry. She's gonna be okay. She's gonna go on a ride and she's gonna come back to you safe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's all I needed to hear those words. And so that's a confidant and we all need one of those. And I think that's one of the keys to friendship,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? You need somebody who you respect, which is an interesting kind of caveat to the whole thing, who you can express your stuff to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">help you carry the load, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. And yes, indeed, I am your confidant, but you have to, it's like you kind of have to have more than one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You really do. And you can't use your mate, your partner.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and in whatever relationship you have, the major partner, whether it's your marriage partner or your business partner, it can't be that person because it's too much. It has to be someone that's not day in, day out, every hour the day with you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And I would say it's somebody who's not. It's gonna sound a little weird and callous, but someone who's not deeply emotionally connected to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Emotionally connected, yes, but not deeply so they can, they can go through and they don't have the blinders on. They can give you that objective kind of response as well. Or they give you an opinion that you believe is objective.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Does it really matter though. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">mean,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think, I think it does. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think, think about the end result is we are trying to use the confession as a means to release negativity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To release heaviness, so it really doesn't matter. Whoever can handle it is the person. I'm just saying that as a marriage partner, you and I have gone through so many things, so much hardship, that sometimes I'm like, I can't add another thing to confide in you with. Sometimes it's true. Same with a friend, like a best friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like sometimes is it too much? I mean, they can be, they can be totally in it with you and have things at stake with you also. But you know, it, it doesn't matter as long as there's capacity to release that, that burden, that negativity, to disperse it to, to disperse it for one another. I think that's what the confidant is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Gotcha.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What else can we say about that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I went to the store, I said, I said, Matt, why don't you research it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, of course did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You did. Okay then Tell </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, I focus more on the confessional aspect of things. Well, did you know ? Confession, AKA either criminal or theological, meaning of course, church and religion and all the rest of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Every single culture has it in kind of in existence at least, you know, calling it, let's call it, uh, north of the Equator Cultures, which is the ones I bumped into. And that includes India, that includes China, that includes Japan. That includes obviously, the United States. That includes Europe, they all have this sense of confession, repentance, and, you know, first </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> of all, I don't know what that means.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I always hear repent. What does that mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> means, I'm sorry. And that's showing that you, are sincere in it. That is repentance. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But what is it? Do you have to like, is that when they I'm make you,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No. Is that when they make you say a bunch of um, lines. Is it Hail Mary's?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What is it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, no, no. Hail Mary would be a football play. It's not or a grid iron football </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> for, but do you know what I mean? What is that called? It's not a Hail Mary. How many. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Actually, you might be right. Maybe it is Hail Mary, full of grace. Something, something, something, something. Not being Catholic, I don't really know them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I wonder if we're totally offending a whole bunch of religious people, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">anybody by our ignorance</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> possible. And the, but the trick is, is wow. All religions have this sense of confession. In point of fact, early Christian, the early Christian kind of mytho, you actually only, uh, confessed once a year or you were only forgiven once a year as part of Lent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's, it's a weird thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It is a weird thing because in the Jewish religion, there is that one part of the year after, right after the new year where you go and apologize. It's kind of the same thing, isn't it? It is a, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it is a similar experience. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Once a year. Once a year. See, this takes me back to celebrations and all these things, like really once a year.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, I do it several times in the day. I'm like, I'm so sorry, like looking at my actions or things I could have or did say, or should not have said or did say. I'm like, Oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, fortunately I only screw up like once a year. . No dear. No, no, don't, don't look at me like that. Oh goodness. Hold on, hold on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hold on folks. I gotta diffuse this song. Oh. Oh my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> God. , No. Wow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, well, you kinda left us open. You kinda left me open for that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, but you know what I mean? It's like why do we have Thanksgiving once a year? The whole thinking about your actions once a year? No, I think it should be a daily process like brushing your teeth, hopefully like a few times a day, ko.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right, right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. And in point of fact, I have this habit of replaying conversations that I have, uh, the same day. I generally have them and just going through them and sometimes I'm like, Ooh, that was a little uncomfortable when I sit there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sometimes, I mean, that's good, but what if you don't even realize you did it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's why I replay it. Like I replay it with an objective. I try and replay it with an objective ear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like today, we were just talking amongst ourselves and there's a friend of ours it's been years since we have been friends, right? A long, long time. And there are three things that she has said to me that has scarred me to this day, but. I just, I don't bring it up because I just feel like it'll turn into a fight or denial.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Denial, which really will further piss me off or hurt my feelings even more and make me feel like, am I crazy? Like why would I make that up? Did I like misunderstand or did I like dream it? Do you know what I'm saying? I started doubting myself, so we were talking about that about. The person A could deny it, or B, they could not remember it, or maybe C, we could have misunderstood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I'm saying? Yes. And and I was saying it doesn't matter because what it is basically is that it was our own insecurity. So no matter what someone says, if you're confident in yourself, In what you're doing, nothing can touch you, but it's not like that all the time. Right, Right. So things will inevitably hurt your feelings and the goal is to discuss it as it happens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">But in my case, the, the, What I don't like about myself is when someone says something, I feel shocked and surprised. Surprised and shocked that I don't have a comeback for it right away. Right? I don't think to say, Whoa, could you repeat what you, what you just said because that really hurt. Like, seriously, Is this how you feel about me?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why did you, Can you repeat what you just said? So we can talk about it, but instead, I let it go and the conversation quickly turns into something else. When something of that kind of magnitude shakes you, in most cases, I feel like the conversation always shifts to something completely different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Right. So like, you don't even, you don't even talk about it and it's the type of thing that could be so innocent perhaps sometimes, but it will scar you forever. I don't know. Should I use examples? Unfortunately, yes, I feel like I do. Cause I'm being too careful. All right. So with this one friend, this was a very long time ago.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was working on my book, the book that I'm still working on. But back then I was trying to get it published. I was sending mock ups to all the publishers working so hard on it, and back then it wasn. Digital. So I was FedExing it back and forth from one publisher to the next. It was very expensive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It was hard. It was my life's work. I'm very proud of it to this day about this book that I created. It's everything. I photographed, all the different tribes that I, I lived with, that I photographed different cultures around the world. I researched all the world's religions and I also took text and I treated the, uh, by the way I treat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The world's religion, all the different religions as literature. So it wasn't, it was not religious, it was more a story that was being told. . Like literature. Right. And then I also took sayings from amazing scientists and amazing poets throughout history poets from a few thousand years. And I put all this together in this book, this family photo album.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Anyway, that was part of my work, and so one night I'm talking to my friend and the whole thing was such a struggle and my photography and I was trying to start up this whole other branch of my photography. Back then I was getting into architectural photography. Anyway, I'm talking to my friend and this friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think I was, I was talking about writing, I was talking about something else. Mm-hmm. that could have been a different career path. And she said, and I'm gonna curse, I'm sorry, but this is where she said, she said, I think that's a good idea for you to get away from photography and get away from this Fawn art photography shit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She just, she put the word s h i t in next to my photography work and then the conversation. Like shortly after that, like immediately after that actually changed and I was so shocked. And to this day, that totally affects me, right? Because I do value this friend's opinion. I do value her sense of artistry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I like her. Mm-hmm. . But that really. And it wasn't just that one time either. It was a couple of other things. And I, it's not like I'm purposely trying to keep a tally of what was said to me, but there were like three things that were said to me that were so harsh. and again, if I bring it up, cuz I did bring it up one time, one of the things she said, and it was denial.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so that, that led me to just never talk about it. Right about anything that is said from this person anyway. Why? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, and but I think you're highlighting something very, very interesting there, which is having an understanding and if you do have somebody you can quote unquote confess to, or a friend who you get advice from and all the rest of it, it has to be a two way street.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like literally every other relationship you should have in your life. And so on some level, it's like you have to know their foibles. You gotta, you gotta figure this stuff out when they screw up. And this person doesn't like talking about when they screw up, cuz frankly who does. Mm-hmm. . But I liken it to, you know that guy, Oh my god, that guy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everybody knows that guy who once upon a time put down a sports bet on a team that was never supposed to win. Or the one stock they'll talk about buying is the one that shot way up. They don't tell you about the 10 stocks they bought, the tanked or the bad bet they made or the the fact that they got ripped off when they bought this, this, or that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good. They only tell you about the great deals they. That's not somebody you want to be your confidant. You need somebody who shows you their foibles. Cuz if somebody who objectively, you know, that face they show you is always so perfect, is always so manicured, is always so Facebooked or Instagramed or whatever it is, and you don't see the fact that, you know they're human</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like the rest of us, That person can't be your confidant. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thanks for letting me know now. Thanks. No, no, I, Okay. Part of me is like coach, part of me is like, thanks for, why Wait, hold on. , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is that what you meant to say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yes and no? Why did you wait so long to tell me that? Because I just needed to hear that. Like actually I, what I just described was told to me before you and I met, but I've told you that story.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I wish you had told me, and I just, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I you to always step carefully around this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You did, but you didn't put it in the exact word that you just did. And you're right. That person has a very hard time, saying, Oh, I screwed up here. Look at that. No big deal. Like, you know what I'm saying? Right. It's always the best face forward.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. And, and that's welcome to the world. You know what, frankly, I hate telling people when I screw up. But you know what? I do. And those friends of mine who love me, they understand that and we move forward. Yeah. Which is why I know about, you know, my OCD buddy who, um, yeah, who has his share of foibles.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He shares with me and then I share my share of foils with him. Plus we go through foils anyways cuz we keep talking about, Oh, this team is gonna win, that team is gonna win, and we're wrong so often it's crazy. We are just ridiculously </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wrong. I know who you're talking about. You're talking about Jim. Of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He has such a great sense of humor. Well, he has a sense of humor about himself. He can laugh about it himself. Right, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And then when it's time when I need to take him to task for something, we're okay with it. Yeah. And when he takes me to task for something, we're okay with it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. I think that's how, my relationship is with Wendy, because we can discuss foibles and our triumph.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but they're not judged. because I feel like in, in my case, when, because I always show people my foibles. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You do!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I do. Because by the time I'm sharing it, and I'm, I'm really good at, if I could say what my strength is, I'm good at noticing my foibles and I'm immediately getting over it because I notice that it's a fo mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and I immediately, I'm okay. Do you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Then I'm, I'm not afraid to share it, but what I've found is when I share my foibles, people put me lower and lower on whatever scale that they have in mind. Right? And then therefore, they think that I'm an idiot, or they think that they're, they're supposed to teach me everything, whereas like, no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what, what's the word for it? Like they think that I'm less than, Well, it's, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's the alpha friend versus the beta friend. Right? Everybody wants to put everything into a nice hierarchy cuz we like ranking, we like putting things in boxes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I can't stand that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And, and it's one of those things that like, you know, if I happen to be great at foosball and I'm not, by the way, I'm maybe just a smidge above average, but I am not good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or, um, what is it called? Table soccer. If somebody sees me playing and I'm like, really good, they assume I'm really good at everything. Likewise, if I'm bad at it, they assume I'm really bad at everything and, and that doesn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">compute. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, and then, when you do get good at something you're not good at,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">have you ever had friends that get very uptight and, they get, what's the word for it? They. Confused and, um, offended. Yes. Almost insulted. Insulted that suddenly you've improved, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Like you cheated somehow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my god. What is that? Has that happened to you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">absolutely. Yeah. No, I have had friends in the past and Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, so one friend of mine, oh my goodness, we used to play this racing game. I would like go to his house and we'd connect two computers and we'd play this racing game and we were pretty evenly matched. And then a new version of it came out, and I played it for like eight hours a day, every day for a month before I told him it existed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, maybe is that why he was upset </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and then I stomped him and he could never catch up to me. Oh, . And he was like, Honey, he was so offended, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but hold on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Confused </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and pissed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay, But was he pissed because you, it's kind of like when there's a show on TV that you all watched together, but then someone watches it before the other person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Was he upset because you. Ahead of him. Oh, I didn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> tell him I had the game </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> for a while. I know, but he obviously found out. No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no. I said he didn't know any of that. The game </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">just came out. Let's play. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, so then he was legit only upset because you were better than you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> was because Was better than he was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we used to be pretty evenly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">matched. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you find that with people in the workforce. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like all of a sudden if you get a higher ranking position mm-hmm. , they get offended. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. And also if they put you in a nice, convenient box, and this is tricky now in what I do cuz I'm what's called a full stack developer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I play in the front end, I play in the middle, I play at the back end, I do DevOpsy. All these things are grossly different things. And it's like you have different skill levels in each, but everybody makes the assumption you've got the same skill level at everything and. They can be almost apologetic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We have one guy on our team who is really good in one part, and he stinks at a different part. And I think the other guy is good at the other thing and bad at the thing that the first guy is good at. But like, they're almost apologetic. Like, you know, I'm sorry I, you know, I don't, you know, can you help me?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And on all the rest of it. And, and for me it's like, it's my responsibility as part of a team. It's my responsibility as part of a friendship. If I have a friend who wants help in a given area, I give it. And I'm very quick to ask for help too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's another thing I find that people are afraid to ask for help.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People are very afraid to ask because it's the same thing and because you're admitting you don't, you have foibles. It's admitting you can't do something, so you don't wanna be put into a box. Right. Because most people tend to do that. Yes. It's rare to find the friend that is the confidant. It is rare to have the friend who can not, not judge </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I think immature friendships, it is very difficult. I think you have to find that mature friendship. I think you have to go through </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What does that mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Semblance of a crucible as far as like one of you has to go through some stuff. Right. You know, the fact that, Jim, Traveled at a, at, at the drop of a dime, he traveled to see me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That speaks to his character, and that makes it something that I wanna be more like and I try and emulate. But that's a noble thing. Oops. That's a noble thing I emulate. It's not a, you know, it's, it's not me being jealous. It's not me. It's me saying, Oh my God, he is such a wonderful person. I want to be more like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He said a good, a great example. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So he turned into a heroic figure at that moment and made me want to be a heroic </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">figure </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> man. He was the hero for our family back then, so. Well, I was gonna ask you, what's the fix, Matt? What is the fix when You need a confidant, but there are all these things that you have to look out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you just have to look out for it. You have to look out and make sure that you confide in someone who the or the confidant you're looking for has to express their foibles, right? And has to basically have an open mind and not be so judgy, . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Not necessarily judgey is still okay as long as they're sharing their foibles.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, as long as </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> they don't put you in a box right away. I, That's what I mean by judgey. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What I tell people, what I used to tell people, what I tell people when I find out they're just getting into a relationship, there's a couple of litmus tests and that number one is, everybody has their own rules of dating, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Da, da, da, da. If you find yourself giving up on some of your rules of dating, Are they giving up some of their rules of dating? That's kind of Matt's fundamental, is this something that might go some distance or not? So if you notice yourself saying, Well, if they call me, I'm not gonna call 'em back for three days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whatever your silly rule is, you know, if they call me on a Thursday to go out on Friday, I, I will always be busy. Whatever the rule is, it doesn't matter. If you notice yourself relaxing your rules, make sure they are too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And if neither one of you is them, that's a whole other story. And then also, if you fight, is my firm belief,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and again, I think I've mentioned this, but like there's a string of five or 10 words I could say right now to you would piss you off, make you upset forever, regardless of whether or not I meant them or not. I, I wouldn't mean them, but everybody has this like group of 10 words. And so when you fight, do they pull this out of their hat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if they do, that's a problem.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Dirty fighting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Dirty fighting is a big problem. So again, it's kind of the emotional and it's the mutual respect and it's everything else. And, and it's, it, honestly, those are two signs of mutual respect is you know, when you're going that way and that way you can feel comfortable in telling them your foils.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now with people who I think might become important to me, I will perhaps share one or two little foils that don't really bother me, or one or two really small ways that I screwed up maybe, but I didn't. But I did, but I didn't. One classic example is classic, such a modern world too. It's not really classic, but I have this picture of this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's an iced coffee on a bicycle. It's from like a kid's drink place. Not a kid. It's from a coffee place and their kids' club. Anyways, as it turns out, and I made this like my icon for a chat at a job. It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> was a picture you took of, of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a sticker for, Of a sticker for a kids' it, like for kids </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> drink like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a hot chocolate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Something like everybody saw it as beer. It did look like a beer. It does look like a beer as soon as you mention it, but the contact and oh my God, I put that up. That was that on day one at a job. That was my picture, and everybody was like, Well, okay, then I guess we know where his head is at. And they were cool with it, but nobody ever told me for months.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Nobody told me. But I'll tell the story now because it's, it's affordable. It's, it's, you know, should I have seen it? I don't know. So it's a way I screwed up, but maybe I didn't, but maybe I did. It's kind of one of those like tentative, like put it out there and see if they'll give you something similar back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm-hmm. , you know, it's just kind of, But this is what guys oftentimes do. We probe, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> probably poke. It's like having spinach in your teeth. Are you gonna tell the person, Right, they have spinach in their. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Are you? It's a good question. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, I was gonna say sometimes there are two things that I wanted to say, and maybe that's another topic for another day, but two things that I wanted to say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One is sometimes you don't realize that you said something messed up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sometimes you don't realize that it triggered someone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yep. That well, yeah, that is absolutely true. Sometimes it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to that context, right? You don't, you have no idea. Or sometimes you're so in your head, you don't hear someone say something and then you don't respond.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like today you told me, Allegra. Yes. First of all, I tell my daughters I love them several million times a day. But yesterday Allegra said, I love you mom. And I was in my head, I was doing a bunch of things. I didn't respond. I didn't hear it and it got quiet in the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> back </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> seat. I didn't hear it. I just didn't hear her say that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But you mentioned that this morning when we were by ourselves. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yep. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm like, Matt, you should have told me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> On the spot. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't hear it. I was thinking so loud in my head. I did not, I was not hearing anything. Cause we were fighting. We were all fighting in the car. I mean, not in the car, but you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm-hmm. , it was. It was just things were tense, right? . Um, so we don't know. Sometimes we don't know. Sometimes. I mean, and it can just scar the person forever. So what do we do there? I mean, you could say, well, just watch your words and be very deliberate because every word is a prayer. Every word is an open sesame, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Every word is creating everything in life. So be very careful of your words. But then if I say that and then I'm like, Okay, well let's just be quiet. The quiet is also word. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Case in point. I didn't say I love you back. I didn't hear it, but that was quiet. That could also was harmful. Anyway, what's the fix Matt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do you think? We just have to be completely present. Yes. Just like riding a bike. We were talking about how do you not crash a bike? You have to be completely present. You can't be looking around and saying, Oh my God, look at that tree over here. Or look, ooh, you know, like noticing all this stuff around you, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to be present. And so that means maybe you shouldn't be riding the bike. Maybe you should go for a walk and then look at the trees. You know what I'm saying? , until you're fully present, able to be completely anchored right in what you're doing. And I think that we all have so much going. And so much is coming at us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That, I think that that's the fix. What do you think? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. I completely concur. It's, it's a very hard thing though, and realize emotion versus logic. You can get blinded due to any number of things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> all. And then the other thing I wanted to talk about is sometimes you said sometimes you have to watch out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If the person has a whole bunch of stuff they've stored up and they bring that back up, sometimes I think you should just have the grace to let someone unload whatever they have and just because they unload other things, I don't think it should be a deal break. A parallel example Could be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we just moved and we don't understand trash pickup yet in our neighborhood, . Not only that, that we have so much recycling and they only pick up a certain amount of recycling. Oh. Every two weeks. So like all this stuff, like so many cardboard boxes have been waiting to go out. It's. , there's no room anywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like there's there. We had so many boxes, but the other day I was standing on the curb waiting for the driver to come back. Mm-hmm. . So he picked up he went around the loop and was headed back up the street again. And I just stood there and I felt like I had to explain the situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, this is not forever, but I have extra stuff for pickup. that I need to unload. I think that goes for emotions too. Sometimes you have to say, Look, I've had a backup of stuff happening. Can you please allow, have the grace mm-hmm. to help me with this extra thing that I need to unload. Right? Yeah, absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So that's it for me. Okay. Sounds good. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So we're both still sick. Just a little. Ugh. It's hard for me. Like I can feel it in my chest, like it's kind of laborious to breathe sometimes. Oh. Anyway, thanks for listening guys. What do you think? Oh, and before we go, Okay. I mean, we talk about confessions and stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember there was that website you would look at? Do you still look at it, Matt, where people would post Post secret. Post secret? Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. Every se, every Sunday they post new stuff. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They're still doing it. Yes. I think that's a modern day confessional, right. For </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> people. It can be, It's a way of, uh, understanding you're not alone For sure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the people feel the same way. And sometimes the things that are expressed are very un politically correct. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm. I mean, so there are, What I'm trying to say is there are other ways, It doesn't have to be religious to unload things if you don't have someone to confide in, there is something, anything out there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I think, I mean, I do it. I can do it. I'm thinking about it like how, How else can I do it? I can just do it. Talking out into the air, like going out. Just talking out loud to whatever other forces are out there and letting it go. And sometimes I think that's why artists are, are so great.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's why art is so important because it can, that kind of, uh, confessional can come out in a painting. It can come out in a photograph, It can come out in, in anything creative really, as long as you get it out of you. Don't hold on that, you know, we need to release much like you take a breath in, you need to exhale, Let it out, let it go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think it's the same thing with our emotions, our thoughts, our experiences that sometimes hold us and bind us. And I think that's the key is to let it go. And that's the whole, the confidant, right? If you. Well, thanks again for listening. Everyone, please make sure you tell other people about our podcast tell them to subscribe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Leave a nice review reach out to us on our website, our friendly world podcast.com. Thank you again for listening. We really appreciate you being with us. Thank you. Be well. Talk to you soon in a few days.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[we all need someone that has our back. We all need someone to confide in. Today we explore the meaning of CONFESSION and realize that it is something more than a religious act; that it is a way to release negativity from our hearts. But how do we know which person or people in our lives we can trust to do this with?
The Confidante - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: There is a reason why so many songs can bring us such comfort. Like there's a song that says, Have little faith in me, and that's what we all need is to have someone that has our back. That's one of the parts of the art of Friendship, We have each other's backs, right?
That you know you're not alone, That when you're going through something that someone is there with you. Maybe they've gone through it already, or they can see better than you in certain circumstances. Today's show, I wanna talk about the confidant, and that came from confess. I was listening to Carolyn Myss. She brought up the whole point of, you know, everything's changing and so many religions and everything, and once you leave Earth, it's not about the religion.
It's not, and that, but so many things have been thrown out. What's the saying, Matt? Like, thrown out with the bath water, 
[00:01:04] Matt: throw the baby out with the bath water. 
[00:01:06] Fawn: And one of the things that has been thrown out has been confession. And it made me think, And then we actually talk about, it's, it's so weird because on a parallel level we talk about the same stuff
carolyn May talks about, you probably don't even know who she is. Uh, sort of, okay. So. The whole idea of confession. I started looking into it. I'm like, Well, I, from my perspective, I understand, I don't really understand the religious, religious aspect of confession. Like what is it really there for? Do you know, Matt, did you have confession growing up in the religion you were raised in?
Oh my 
[00:01:44] Matt: goodness. Good Protestants. Don't do the confession. That was one of Martin Luther's issues with Catholicism. 
[00:01:50] Fawn: What's wrong with confession? What I mean, what do you think confession is all about? 
[00:01:55] Matt: Okay, so confession, not unlike communism is a really, really great idea in kind of abstraction. But when you start involving humans into the mix, everything gets messed up.
[00:02:08] Fawn: Why? How so? 
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:37:29</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Feeling Under the Weather]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Oct 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1294246</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/feeling-under-the-weather</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A reminder from Goethe: For five minutes a day, look at something beautiful, listen to something beautiful, and think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well. </span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This week we focus on what to do when we don't feel well, and what to do when friends don't feel well.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT - Checking in on A Friend Feeling Under the Weather</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. A reminder from Goethe. Yes, for five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well . So, hi folks. We caught something. We're two chicken to take a k. So we're just quarantining.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're just hunkering down the whole family. We don't know what we have, but it seems like all the other things we've had before. Honestly, like the kids get sick, It starts with, a sore throat and then their eyes get glassy and then it's, uh oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and then it's really low energy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm. It's just quiet. They get quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. Low energy, and then you're like, Oh, I'm tired. I'm gonna go. And then it's me staying up all night, cleaning up after everything that gets expelled from these kids all night long. Thank you very much. Matt . Why are you looking away? Like there's somebody else I'm talking to in this room. Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, why do you do that? ? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Because I don't wanna accept. Yeah. Anyways. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. I love you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know God, but my goodness, I, I try, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> geez. I mean, remember the day we used to fight over who gets to change a diaper? Well, changing diapers </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is cool. That's easy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ish. All right, so anyway, we're not feeling so well, so this is gonna be a little short episode.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Bear with us. I don't know if we sound d...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[A reminder from Goethe: For five minutes a day, look at something beautiful, listen to something beautiful, and think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well. 
 
This week we focus on what to do when we don't feel well, and what to do when friends don't feel well.
 
TRANSCRIPT - Checking in on A Friend Feeling Under the Weather
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. A reminder from Goethe. Yes, for five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well . So, hi folks. We caught something. We're two chicken to take a k. So we're just quarantining.
We're just hunkering down the whole family. We don't know what we have, but it seems like all the other things we've had before. Honestly, like the kids get sick, It starts with, a sore throat and then their eyes get glassy and then it's, uh oh, 
[00:00:42] Matt: and then it's really low energy. 
[00:00:44] Fawn: Mm. It's just quiet. They get quiet.
Exactly. Low energy, and then you're like, Oh, I'm tired. I'm gonna go. And then it's me staying up all night, cleaning up after everything that gets expelled from these kids all night long. Thank you very much. Matt . Why are you looking away? Like there's somebody else I'm talking to in this room. Oh my God.
Matt, why do you do that? ? 
[00:01:11] Matt: Because I don't wanna accept. Yeah. Anyways. 
[00:01:15] Fawn: All right. I love you. 
[00:01:16] Matt: I know God, but my goodness, I, I try, 
[00:01:19] Fawn: geez. I mean, remember the day we used to fight over who gets to change a diaper? Well, changing diapers 
[00:01:25] Matt: is cool. That's easy 
[00:01:28] Fawn: ish. All right, so anyway, we're not feeling so well, so this is gonna be a little short episode.
Bear with us. I don't know if we sound d...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Feeling Under the Weather]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A reminder from Goethe: For five minutes a day, look at something beautiful, listen to something beautiful, and think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well. </span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This week we focus on what to do when we don't feel well, and what to do when friends don't feel well.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT - Checking in on A Friend Feeling Under the Weather</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. A reminder from Goethe. Yes, for five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well . So, hi folks. We caught something. We're two chicken to take a k. So we're just quarantining.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're just hunkering down the whole family. We don't know what we have, but it seems like all the other things we've had before. Honestly, like the kids get sick, It starts with, a sore throat and then their eyes get glassy and then it's, uh oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and then it's really low energy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm. It's just quiet. They get quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. Low energy, and then you're like, Oh, I'm tired. I'm gonna go. And then it's me staying up all night, cleaning up after everything that gets expelled from these kids all night long. Thank you very much. Matt . Why are you looking away? Like there's somebody else I'm talking to in this room. Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, why do you do that? ? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Because I don't wanna accept. Yeah. Anyways. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. I love you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know God, but my goodness, I, I try, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> geez. I mean, remember the day we used to fight over who gets to change a diaper? Well, changing diapers </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is cool. That's easy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ish. All right, so anyway, we're not feeling so well, so this is gonna be a little short episode.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Bear with us. I don't know if we sound different. Do we sound different? Whatever I, we. We here, here is what happened. I don't know. We wear masks until, Actually, we didn't wear masks when we recorded in a coffee shop, but we were fine for like, well, we were keeping our </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> distance too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We were fine for two weeks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I, I have a feeling I know what happened, but what are you gonna do? We're in a small town, which is earth and this is what happens. Anyway. So for five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful. I wanted to talk about what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I have to, I had to sneeze now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> don't, nevermind. Yeah, nevermind. Okay, so, um, now I forgot what I was saying. What was I. For five minutes a day. No, we already talked about that. I know. So that's just to remind us that even if we're not feeling so well, stop playing with your mic, Matt. If we're not playing. If we're not, I don't know what I'm saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">bear with me. Especially when you're not feeling well or things aren't going your way, just remember that for five minutes day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful. And things will turn around. Think about what your end focus is when things are C R A P </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">crap. (Matt gasps with shock at Fawn using a bad word) Am I allowed to say that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn (2):</strong></span> I dunno. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. When things are that way, don't look at your circumstances. Think about where you wanna be. A long time ago I was listening to Tony Robbins. And he was telling us about how when race car drivers are in a spinout, is that what you call it, Matt? When? When the car's going and then all of a sudden you spin out control, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To not look at the spinning area, but pick a point where you wanna be headed. So focus on where you wanna go instead of the actual spinning. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">your focus dictates direction, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and that will dictate where the car's gonna go. It's, it will translate. So think about that when things are rough. And then I was also, I just wanted to make a reminder, and I talked about this a while ago, but I read this article, I think it was in Vogue like years ago, about these women who traveled to a country.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It doesn't matter where, but it was a place for vacation. And there, there was , a honeymooning couple I guess, and there was a tragic accident and the husband died and then the government was trying to tell her that she has to sign all these documents while she was dealing with all this, like that same day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And these two women who did not know this other woman who was going through this tragedy. We're trying to help her and wanted to be there for her. They didn't know her at all and she was like, Leave me alone. Leave me alone. I don't wanna talk to anyone. And they wouldn't, they wouldn't leave her alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're like, Look, you shouldn't sign that. You shouldn't sign it. And it, what it turned out to be was the it the fault with was with something that had to do with whatever agency. That brought them there. Okay. And should she had signed it, it would've, made her responsible for everything and absolved any other party.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyway, these women made sure to stay with this other woman, to carry her through this grief and the trauma, even though this woman was like, I don't know you get away from me. I don't wanna talk to you. But they silently and not so silently sometimes just kept on keeping on and they ended up helping her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I remember, I, I read this story right before when we had just moved to Bainbridge Island and our neighbor's husband died. Remember in the middle of the night I was totally pregnant, couldn't really move around. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it was a crazy night. Storm. Storm. I think it was storm. Super windy. Yeah, there was. And there was big old trees that were just ready to fall </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> over.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So where we lived on Bainbridge, it was when it was windy guys, it was like windy and things would just fall over. We would lose power for two weeks. Remember two weeks that one time, Right? Anyway. And no lights. There were no street lights. So we had just moved there. We just made sure that we said hello to all the neighbors.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We introduced ourselves. Matt, though Sylvia ended up calling you? Yes. And in the middle of the night, Matt goes over there to , resuscitate Mr. Palmer. And you know he passed away. He was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> already dead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So, um, everybody came. The, not everybody came, actually, paramedics came right? Was it the paramedics fire department?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, all the officials came. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. So I, I was with Mr. Palmer and we were in, I don't know where in the house cuz everything's dark. It was an old house and over end. And I ended up getting pushed backwards away from the paramedics who. Who really knew what they were doing. But like, I called 9 1 1 and I was like, Okay, this is the situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're like, Do you wanna resuscitate him? And I said, Sure. And I started performing cpr. Mm-hmm. . And, and then the, when the ambulance guys came in, they, it was like I was in, I was in a room and there was like a hallway behind it, but like it was a hallway to a closet in very old house. And so I ended up</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">fleeing, basically, you know, getting away from the paramedics but not going out the front door. I was caught, I was trapped basically upstairs, right? Without a cell phone with So fun was just, I was in there, I went over there and all of a sudden there's crazy lights </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and everything, right? And I was watching through the windows trying to figure out what was going on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like totally pregnant. Did not wanna go. Through whatever woods in the middle of the night, of course. And so anyway, we were new to this neighborhood and none of the other neighbors showed up. And then the next day, none of the neighbors showed up. The day after that, nobody showed up. The day after that, the day after that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And thank goodness that I read, I had read this article, I'm like, Okay, I have to be one of those women, or we have to be one of those women. And so we made sure that we were with her every day, brought her over, cooked our little meals, made sure she ate with us and just made sure we were with her even though she maybe didn't, would, would express, I don't wanna be with anyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But she really. And so even if, you know, that's what we did in that circumstance, but when someone is sick, even if it's just a cold, like no big deal. We're fine guys. We're we're okay? We just got a bug or something. We're getting over it. We're fine. Thank you. I'm knock on wood anyway. Um, even when like a few people text.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's not the people that are like, Did you take the cover test? It wasn't like that. It was like, , I'm checking on you. How are you? Right? And then a phone call. Are you okay ? You know, like, don't worry, we're gonna like go and do this thing some other day. Don't worry about it. You guys just wanted to hear your voice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How you doing? You know, it made a world's difference. Like it changed the whole atmosphere of the house. Just a text, even a phone call, a quick little like "Hello!" It makes a big difference. You don't have to go outta your way trumping through the woods. You don't have to go trumping through the woods through a hurricane to ease someone that's going through hardship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A little message, a little text means a lot. And I think because the world is hit with so much stuff and people feel like they have to make huge grand gestures. I think most people are feeling tired and overwhelmed and, the capacity isn't available, And you think that you have to make these huge gestures and you don't, a little tiny message goes a very long way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Is that clear? It is. So that's my message. Look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful, think of something beautiful. And when someone else is experiencing hardship, figure out a way for them to look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Could just be your voice or remind them to think of something beautiful and if they can't, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">put something out there, a thought. It could be in a note, that's one of the keys of friendship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can remember there were points in my life where I wasn't doing as well as I should, and for me, In some cases, in one case I was in , I was in college and I reached out. I was a, I was a day camp counselor in, summers during college.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you know, some kids you form a little bond with some kids you don't. And I called one of the kids that I worked with, he was a c I t, he was older. I met his parents the whole bit. And I just called him. I was, I was having a, I was having a god awful day and I called him, he talked to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We just had a conversation and you know, even just listening to the, the simplicity of his life made me feel better. It's just having an understanding that just because your life isn't going so well, it's not a question of the entire universe has flipped upside down. It's, it's your life. And so, well, it's not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> even your life, it's your perspective at that moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And, and yes, sometimes it's that, sometimes it truly is your life. But anyways, but being able to get yourself away from that and more recently, if I'm having a bad day, I'll just have a conversation. And of course, I'm a guy. I don't usually discuss having bad days, but I'll have a discussion with a friend and I'll just hear about what's going on in their life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And sometimes it's very, very simple, you know? Oh yeah. You know, I'm going out to blah, blah, blah. My kids gotta do da, da da da. And it just, it's just nice to just know that there's a whole world out there that people without the suck , if you will. Right. And that, that's what helps </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> me. Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's it. Anything else to add?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I just added something </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I know. any more to add. People have been saying, You don't talk too much, that I talk too much. No, they don't say that I talk too much, but they're like, they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> don't say you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> talk too much. They wish that you would speak more. Well, I just did and I can see your nose running.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. We better go . All right. I'm gonna go get some hot water. , we wish you well. We love you. Thanks for listening. Please leave us a nice review make sure you tell people to subscribe to our podcast. Thank you again. All the countries around the world that are listening, Oh my goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you. Thank you for allowing this idea of the art of friendship to blossom around the world. We love you so much. We'll talk to you in just a few days. Be well. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[A reminder from Goethe: For five minutes a day, look at something beautiful, listen to something beautiful, and think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well. 
 
This week we focus on what to do when we don't feel well, and what to do when friends don't feel well.
 
TRANSCRIPT - Checking in on A Friend Feeling Under the Weather
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. A reminder from Goethe. Yes, for five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well . So, hi folks. We caught something. We're two chicken to take a k. So we're just quarantining.
We're just hunkering down the whole family. We don't know what we have, but it seems like all the other things we've had before. Honestly, like the kids get sick, It starts with, a sore throat and then their eyes get glassy and then it's, uh oh, 
[00:00:42] Matt: and then it's really low energy. 
[00:00:44] Fawn: Mm. It's just quiet. They get quiet.
Exactly. Low energy, and then you're like, Oh, I'm tired. I'm gonna go. And then it's me staying up all night, cleaning up after everything that gets expelled from these kids all night long. Thank you very much. Matt . Why are you looking away? Like there's somebody else I'm talking to in this room. Oh my God.
Matt, why do you do that? ? 
[00:01:11] Matt: Because I don't wanna accept. Yeah. Anyways. 
[00:01:15] Fawn: All right. I love you. 
[00:01:16] Matt: I know God, but my goodness, I, I try, 
[00:01:19] Fawn: geez. I mean, remember the day we used to fight over who gets to change a diaper? Well, changing diapers 
[00:01:25] Matt: is cool. That's easy 
[00:01:28] Fawn: ish. All right, so anyway, we're not feeling so well, so this is gonna be a little short episode.
Bear with us. I don't know if we sound d...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1294246/IMG-8524-Copy.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:14:35</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Notebook - A Happy Story]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Oct 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1290582</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-notebook-a-happy-story</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This is not a sad or any kind of sad love story. No, this is a happy thing. This is another baby step  (what we can all do to improve our friendships and our zhuzhiness out in the world, and how we can get to the point where we're creating beautiful bonds).</p>
<p>The notebook is one way. </p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">It is a beautiful tool to pay attention to the people we meet to get a good understanding of who they are, what they value, and you know, what cool stuff they like. So it's kind of like doing a portrait of someone; a drawing. So you're really paying attention. And later when you look back on it, it's like a portrait of each person. And let's say it's been 20, 30 years, or a long, you know, so many years or you've moved away, wouldn't it be cool to just look back on it and reflect on the different kinds of personalities you met or you remember what you learned from this person back then?<br /><br />It gives you a sense of comfort. In a way, it's kind of like a security blanket to have a little notebook. The notebook is an easy key we can all use to help us as we venture off and explore growing our friendship circle.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn and Matt give examples of how precisely the notebook is accomplished.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Reach out to us: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Notebook – TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The notebook. This is not going to be a sad or any kind of sad love story. No, this is a happy thing. We're gonna tell you about the notebook. It'll be like when we did the baby steps; we did a few episodes of baby steps of what we can all do to improve our friendships and our zhuzhiness out in the world, and how we can get to the point where we're creating beautiful bonds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The notebook is one way. So here it is, guys. Hello. Welcome back. I'm Fawn. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? I'm still </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> here. This is Matt. One of the other things that I've been turning to lately, because we are in a completely new environment and we've been meeting so many people, really making an effort to not be lazy. Now we're out there and we're making sure that we're not lazy with our SEL skills. Social emotional learning, as well as, the skills you muster up or the courage you muster up when you're meeting people and when you see someone and you wanna become friends friends, or at least spark something , something wonderful, a wonderful conversation, a little, meet cute moment, a feel good moment, whatever it is, right? The notebook comes in handy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt actually has been doing this with beer and other things and other things. . Matt has a beer notebook. So when we moved to Boulder, There were so many beers knobs there, and that's when we got into a crowd of friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That was their business. Is that they, what? What did they do? Soma, or how do you say it? Soma, Somal. How do you say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"></span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This is not a sad or any kind of sad love story. No, this is a happy thing. This is another baby step  (what we can all do to improve our friendships and our zhuzhiness out in the world, and how we can get to the point where we're creating beautiful bonds).
The notebook is one way. 
It is a beautiful tool to pay attention to the people we meet to get a good understanding of who they are, what they value, and you know, what cool stuff they like. So it's kind of like doing a portrait of someone; a drawing. So you're really paying attention. And later when you look back on it, it's like a portrait of each person. And let's say it's been 20, 30 years, or a long, you know, so many years or you've moved away, wouldn't it be cool to just look back on it and reflect on the different kinds of personalities you met or you remember what you learned from this person back then?It gives you a sense of comfort. In a way, it's kind of like a security blanket to have a little notebook. The notebook is an easy key we can all use to help us as we venture off and explore growing our friendship circle.
Fawn and Matt give examples of how precisely the notebook is accomplished.
Reach out to us: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
The Notebook – TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Fawn: The notebook. This is not going to be a sad or any kind of sad love story. No, this is a happy thing. We're gonna tell you about the notebook. It'll be like when we did the baby steps; we did a few episodes of baby steps of what we can all do to improve our friendships and our zhuzhiness out in the world, and how we can get to the point where we're creating beautiful bonds.
 The notebook is one way. So here it is, guys. Hello. Welcome back. I'm Fawn. 
[00:00:35] Matt: Hello? I'm still 
[00:00:37] Fawn: here. This is Matt. One of the other things that I've been turning to lately, because we are in a completely new environment and we've been meeting so many people, really making an effort to not be lazy. Now we're out there and we're making sure that we're not lazy with our SEL skills. Social emotional learning, as well as, the skills you muster up or the courage you muster up when you're meeting people and when you see someone and you wanna become friends friends, or at least spark something , something wonderful, a wonderful conversation, a little, meet cute moment, a feel good moment, whatever it is, right? The notebook comes in handy. 
Matt actually has been doing this with beer and other things and other things. . Matt has a beer notebook. So when we moved to Boulder, There were so many beers knobs there, and that's when we got into a crowd of friends.
That was their business. Is that they, what? What did they do? Soma, or how do you say it? Soma, Somal. How do you say 
[00:01:52] ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Notebook - A Happy Story]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This is not a sad or any kind of sad love story. No, this is a happy thing. This is another baby step  (what we can all do to improve our friendships and our zhuzhiness out in the world, and how we can get to the point where we're creating beautiful bonds).</p>
<p>The notebook is one way. </p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">It is a beautiful tool to pay attention to the people we meet to get a good understanding of who they are, what they value, and you know, what cool stuff they like. So it's kind of like doing a portrait of someone; a drawing. So you're really paying attention. And later when you look back on it, it's like a portrait of each person. And let's say it's been 20, 30 years, or a long, you know, so many years or you've moved away, wouldn't it be cool to just look back on it and reflect on the different kinds of personalities you met or you remember what you learned from this person back then?<br /><br />It gives you a sense of comfort. In a way, it's kind of like a security blanket to have a little notebook. The notebook is an easy key we can all use to help us as we venture off and explore growing our friendship circle.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Fawn and Matt give examples of how precisely the notebook is accomplished.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Reach out to us: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Notebook – TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The notebook. This is not going to be a sad or any kind of sad love story. No, this is a happy thing. We're gonna tell you about the notebook. It'll be like when we did the baby steps; we did a few episodes of baby steps of what we can all do to improve our friendships and our zhuzhiness out in the world, and how we can get to the point where we're creating beautiful bonds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The notebook is one way. So here it is, guys. Hello. Welcome back. I'm Fawn. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? I'm still </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> here. This is Matt. One of the other things that I've been turning to lately, because we are in a completely new environment and we've been meeting so many people, really making an effort to not be lazy. Now we're out there and we're making sure that we're not lazy with our SEL skills. Social emotional learning, as well as, the skills you muster up or the courage you muster up when you're meeting people and when you see someone and you wanna become friends friends, or at least spark something , something wonderful, a wonderful conversation, a little, meet cute moment, a feel good moment, whatever it is, right? The notebook comes in handy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt actually has been doing this with beer and other things and other things. . Matt has a beer notebook. So when we moved to Boulder, There were so many beers knobs there, and that's when we got into a crowd of friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That was their business. Is that they, what? What did they do? Soma, or how do you say it? Soma, Somal. How do you say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that word? Cicerone actually is a sommelier for beer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sommelier . Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But it's a sommelier for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">beer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They're very serious. It's serious business. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It is. Right, it is and and finding something you enjoy Sometimes, you know, you have to calibrate it just like anything else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to figure out what kind of works, what doesn't work, and get people's opinions and all the rest of, It's a great way to actually spark up a conversation with people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So there's a lot of note taking involved </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Oh yeah. You'll forget perhaps different things you've tried. So vectoring </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> in, and you did it besides beer, you did it with other things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You always had one of those tiny, cute little art notebooks. They're very thin, they're cute. You always carry that in your back pocket. Every time you have a thought or you see something interesting or someone says something, you always jot it down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> How many times have you been out and you've seen something cool?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or somebody mentions a website and you're like, Oh yes. How could I ever forget the name of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you get home and you're like, I don't remember what the name of the website </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">was. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Usually we'll turn to each other and it sucks when neither one of us remembers. Right? What that thing was that we swore we would never, ever forget.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Of course not, right? Of course. No, never</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> ridiculous. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or like our children remember everything, but now they're getting to an age where they're like, Harumph </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and, and they're not paying attention to the things we're paying attention to. They just don't care. So , I wouldn't go that far. I would just say that their memories are still awesomely excellent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Which is very cool. But there's a lot of other </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">stuff in there now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think they're realizing there's so much, um, so many things. Mm-hmm. that are getting your attention. Right. So you start to edit. So anyway, I started to really turn to my notebook because every time I met someone, I started to write down who they were, their names.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I even forget a person's face. Mm-hmm. . It's really bizarre to my own self that I'm a photographer because I don't pay attention to details like that. I pay attention to a feeling, a vibe; that's what I remember. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and also sometimes you'll get caught up and you will meet like five people in rapid succession.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">luck. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. So I'll write the person's name down and what I've been doing is it's in my little tiny journal, which is my appointment book. Mm-hmm. I'll write down quotes like when they say something really cool, I'll put it in quotes and say, This is what Sarah said or Jane or Maryanne.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I write down things that they say that are remarkable. I write down things that are really important to them, so I make sure I remember. Mm-hmm. Sometimes I'll write down when I find out they're allergic to something, make sure I write that down right. So when they come over to our house, I know not to serve that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right, Right. And not make a big fuss about it. It just won't be, Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's good to remember, but there is so much to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">remember. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Yes, there is. And in my, in my world, when I start a new job, it's like you're on a team, you've got three or four people, and they all tell you rapid fire who they are, and people always tell you who they are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember that. And if you don't write it down, you won't necessarily remember it because you're meeting so many people so fast. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> People tell you what's important to them right off the bat. And when you just said, Matt, people tell you who they are, do you mean like they tell you exactly who they are? So, Is that what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you're talking about personality wise?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's like if they say, Don't trust me, then don't trust them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But also they'll also tell you, Yeah, especially in this day and age, it's like we're, we're across the country. I, I don't get to hang, I, I don't see the persons necessarily their space because everybody blurs their backgrounds. You have to really pay attention to everything they say and take down everything that they say to get a good understanding of who they are, what they value, and you know, what cool stuff they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's kind of like doing a portrait of someone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> A drawing. So you're really paying attention. And later when you look back on it, like what if you have a separate notebook for friends only?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Mm-hmm</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and when you look back on it, it's like a portrait of each person. And let's say it's been 20, 30 years, or a long, you know, so many years or you've moved away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wouldn't it be cool to just look back on it? And go, Oh, this is the personality that I met. This is the kind of personality that was in my life back then.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or you start remembering what you learned from this person back then. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, are you okay? Your stomach is growling. I know. Are you hungry or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is there a problem?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think I'm hungry, but I'm not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> sure what? Are you stressed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> out? Yes, I'm very stressed. Conversation stressing me. Serious. No, I'm good. Take it easy. Um, Need </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> more coffee. Oh my gosh. So anyway, we've been having a lot of coffee lately. Well, Matt has even I have had coffee because it's kind of like drinking Matt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like alcohol. I'm not a coffee drinker, but because we've been meeting people, meeting people at different places. Mm-hmm. , I've been drinking coffee. How, I guess how people go to bars and they have drinks. , now I'm having caffeine and, um, caffeine doesn't agree with me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, it does not.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I'm, I'm just, I was already in pain from the move, but now I'm like, I'm tired. Um, now I really wanna sleep at night and I can't , like, it's just, I would just like to sip on hot water, but you, you can't go somewhere in. Water order. Order. Hot water. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hot water order. Oh dear. Well, yeah, certainly. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Nevermind. Time change has gotten us a little bit, folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. I've turned into one of those people. Like, can I just have a cup of hot water with some lemon? When people used to come and order that, I would get so mad as a barista. Oh no. I would serve coffee. I'm like, Really? . Because it's free. You know, like I'm like, there is a tax you have to pay when you go to a coffee shop.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, yeah. You pay rent, you have to order stuff. You have to pay rent by the hour. You pay rent. You can't sit there with one drink and sit there for three or four hours. I learned that from my, Do you remember where I learned that from, Matt? No, my very, um, cute, sexy, um, police officer in France that I dated for.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He taught me that . Anyways, back to notebooks, Shall we? Notebooks? But see a note I took, but I didn't write it down. Anyways, I think it's really important to do that because it takes the pressure off and then you're not embarrassed by certain things. Like I met two different people in two days. In my mind, I, I started to mix up details from each person, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They were kind of similar. , which was remarkable because they're both really individualistic, like completely different people. But they both had some things in common. Mm-hmm. . And so I was starting to mix them up and I almost out loud switched up their names. When I, you know, like when you're with someone, you call 'em by a different name, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyway, it stops you from doing that. It gives you a sense of comfort. In a way, it's kind of like a security blanket to have a little notebook. And I do wonder, Matt, when, so I was taking notes as people were talking to me, and they knew that I wrote down something they just said, and I made it very clear that I was taking notes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Mm-hmm</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but I wonder how they felt. How would you feel, would you feel like, would you feel more important if you knew that everything you said, I'm completely paying attention to? And writing it down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think I'd wanna see what you were writing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I kind of tell them, Wow, that was brilliant. Hold on a second.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let me, let me quote you on that. Well, and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there's, and so that's very flattering. It's just if, if some, if, if I was sitting there and like, A traditional, I guess, 1950s, um, psychologist, psychiatrist was writing down what I said. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'd be like, Oh, I hate that. No, I'm not comfortable now. No, I, I also have the notebook kind of like open mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and I'm not hiding it like those psychologists do. I'm not doing that. , but I, Yeah, I'm very clear. Like, Oh, and what, Wait, wait a minute. What is this cool place you just mentioned what was, how do you spell that? Right? So they know what I'm writing, right? Um, yeah. It'll make it a secretive thing, but<strong> I think the notebook is an easy key we can all use to help us as we venture off and we explore growing our friendship circle.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So what do you think? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> As an avid notebook person, you know, usually at the end of any conversation that I'll have with somebody, particularly somebody I'm meeting brand new, yeah, I'll write down their names cuz God, I'm terrible with names, so that allows me to go back over it and make sure I've got it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Particularly if you're moving to a new place and you have new neighbors, you really don't wanna forget their names. You know, you can get away with asking, what was your name again? Once and that's, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I wanna say that please don't do this on your phone. Do not take notes on your phone. Get an actual physical notebook.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, if you take notes on your phone, then know it looks like you're antisocial. Somebody could be thinking you're, you're Facebooking or whatever, whatever else those people </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do on their phones. No, it's different when you have a pen or pencil and a piece of paper that you're, it, It's not the same kind of rude mm-hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I'm saying? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and also it's. Because you want it to be as, as </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well. I don't know. There's some people that organic possible. I don't know. Some, Most people are very super, super fast on their phones and that fast. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Always Dang. Okay. Cause oh my god, I can't, I can't hit the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> buttons fast enough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's because we don't like technology like that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I suppose. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But yeah, don't use your phones. Get a notebook. There are so many cute little notebooks on there. There. Get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a notebook Oh oh and pro tip for your notebook for me anyways, cuz I thrash them. Lot of places offer stickers like coffee places and Whatnots will offer you stickers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Get 'em and put 'em on the outside of your notebook because they'll protect it. Cuz I thrash my poor notebooks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's because you sit on your, your notebooks. Well </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> exactly. You put 'em in your back pocket because my notebook is always on me as I pull it out. Oh my goodness. . Yeah. My current one has a Maverick sticker and and a receipt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you sticker it's curved to the same shape as your butt. Yep. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, no, it's, it's thin. It's 50 some odd pages or something, so it, it, it fits Nice. Soft cover. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nice. Yeah. Well, mine are the same. , but I put mine in my bag and I like to keep them pristine. And then I like to line all them up on my desk and I can go chronologically looking at things. Don't put things on your phone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It could be stolen, it could be like, people can like swipe it. Just don't do it. And that way you can doodle, you can like get a crayon you can add art to it. You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> can journal, you can, Yeah. Everything else, everything else you wanna do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So anyway, that's our, that's our little friendship tip for today, the notebook.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anything else you wanna add?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Nope. I had to think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> about it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> for a second. , do you wanna like give an example? A beer note that you make, Like what? I still to this day, don't know what you write about beer. Like, what is it? It tastes good. Okay. What do you write in there? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Sometimes you forget. Sometimes you want different things in, in a beverage, in a friend, in a conversation, in a whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so you write down your feelings. You write down how it, how it matures when it gets warmer, cuz beer tastes differently from cold to warm. It does. The complexities. Sometimes you want something simple, sometimes you don't. Alcoholic levels, sometimes you want something, hits you heavier, sometimes you don't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's just there's a, there's a lot in there. And plus, you know, keeping track of a, um, a vendor, you know, I. Ex beer is da da da because you'll sometimes you'll forget, particularly if something fades from view for a while or you take a look and there's a beer that's by the same people who made another beer you drank that you really didn't like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's a couple like that. They keep luring me back in and I finally got to a point where it's like, No, not for that. I don't care what the, what the beer, what yeah, what they say. But you know, it's, it's, notebooks is a memory aid here, folks, and this way, it's like I can go through it and I, I don't have to remember it particularly if I don't know how important or not something is going to be same, same thing, sadly or gratefully goes with people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Some people become very important outta nowhere and some people fade from view you thought would be important </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and everybody touches your life in some way. And also you learn about yourself. Remember, like we would go back on our notes and go, Oh my God, that was this time last year. I totally forgot we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> did that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? And that's, that's, uh, that's a very important thing too. Yes. Is, is actually reviewing, going back through and really having a good understanding because God doesn't it seem like, Time just moves faster and faster and faster. It, it works, and then it slows to a crawl, and then it's faster, faster, faster.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, you know, in, in some cases it's like this month just, I don't remember it at all. And in other cases it's like, Will this week ever end? Mm-hmm. . So, yeah, it can be important to write things down. It's, I think it's always important to write things down and it's, it's important to go ahead and review. You know, I'm a big fan of, of reviewing almost everything just to make sure I, I do it right and I present myself the way I wanna present myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that, you know, hopefully I'm seen, I'm seen the way I want to be. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It gives you a certain clarity as well, like we talked about. Remember, everyone always tells you exactly who they are. Yes. So believe them. Yes. So taking note on exactly what they said, sometimes you forget and sometimes you know the world is a small town and everyone is your friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but what kind of friend are they? Not every friend turns out to be great for you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> True. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. . And there are always clues along the way that you kind of like let slide, but you can really like write down your feelings, even if it's a little doodle. And then really like, think to yourself like be very present and be very non-judgemental, but like just, uh, give yourself a certain perspective.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm. So if someone does say something or you get a certain feeling, then meditate on that. You know what I'm saying? Like absolutely. Like we met a kid today. . Charlie . How old do you think this kid was? Six. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Six. Six Seems </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> about right. Oh my God. The cutest. Cutest. He's a little man. Amazing. He was there with his grandfather.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they were like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> twins. He was like perfect, perfectly poised. It was a bizarre thing to see and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we were having such a great conversation with him. Mm-hmm. like a full on conversation and then this one woman shows up, dun, dun, dun. And all of a sudden Charlie wouldn't even look at this person and didn't wanna say hello to this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. I thought that was a little odd. Yes. I was like, Oh, sh, you know, in my head I was say, thinking. Shit Talki, what's happened? Hey. Um, and then immediately everything changed. And yes, he very calmly turned and said, I'm done. He, he told </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> his grandpa he </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> was done, so I'm done. And he headed for the door. Yep.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So he couldn't get outta there fast enough, but, and I was thinking, Well, how brilliant is that? Because whatever he picked up on, I also picked up on. But I was, um, allowing myself to not let that show. because I don't wanna offend anyone. Mm-hmm. and I, you know, I wanna give grace to the situation and give a second chance because my instinct was the same as his.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know what happened. Right. I don't know if this other person that came to the table had pain and we both picked up on it and we weren't in the place to allow that pain penetrate us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, he certainly wasn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so he wasn't, Yeah, right. Exactly. Now, and I found that to be quite inspiring, but I'm like, well, wow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The responsibility we feel like we have as adults to carry that with us. Whereas this kid was like, nuts, do this. I'm not having any of this. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. You don't have to accept somebody's anything. You can, You can refuse delivery. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You can refuse delivery, but at the same time, you can still help without having to accept the delivery.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? Right. And it's something, as an adult, you learn how to do. Not, not an adult, but like it's something that can be learned. Yes. That should be learned, right? Mm-hmm. by everyone Anyway. I think that when you have a notebook like that, you can in some fashion, put that in there. So that's the tip.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anything else to add? Okay, that's it. Please reach out to us. We love when you leave beautiful reviews for us, please. It helps us out a lot actually. It does. Thank you. Thank you, France. Um, again, thank you to all the countries that are listening to us in our American English. We so appreciate you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you for supporting us very much. Again. We love it. When you reach out to us, please go to our friendly world podcast.com. Just reach out to us and let us know anything. If you wanna be on the show, let us know. If you just wanna talk to us, we're here, please let us know. Love you so much. Thank you for listening, and we'll talk to you in just a few days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Be well. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This is not a sad or any kind of sad love story. No, this is a happy thing. This is another baby step  (what we can all do to improve our friendships and our zhuzhiness out in the world, and how we can get to the point where we're creating beautiful bonds).
The notebook is one way. 
It is a beautiful tool to pay attention to the people we meet to get a good understanding of who they are, what they value, and you know, what cool stuff they like. So it's kind of like doing a portrait of someone; a drawing. So you're really paying attention. And later when you look back on it, it's like a portrait of each person. And let's say it's been 20, 30 years, or a long, you know, so many years or you've moved away, wouldn't it be cool to just look back on it and reflect on the different kinds of personalities you met or you remember what you learned from this person back then?It gives you a sense of comfort. In a way, it's kind of like a security blanket to have a little notebook. The notebook is an easy key we can all use to help us as we venture off and explore growing our friendship circle.
Fawn and Matt give examples of how precisely the notebook is accomplished.
Reach out to us: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
The Notebook – TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Fawn: The notebook. This is not going to be a sad or any kind of sad love story. No, this is a happy thing. We're gonna tell you about the notebook. It'll be like when we did the baby steps; we did a few episodes of baby steps of what we can all do to improve our friendships and our zhuzhiness out in the world, and how we can get to the point where we're creating beautiful bonds.
 The notebook is one way. So here it is, guys. Hello. Welcome back. I'm Fawn. 
[00:00:35] Matt: Hello? I'm still 
[00:00:37] Fawn: here. This is Matt. One of the other things that I've been turning to lately, because we are in a completely new environment and we've been meeting so many people, really making an effort to not be lazy. Now we're out there and we're making sure that we're not lazy with our SEL skills. Social emotional learning, as well as, the skills you muster up or the courage you muster up when you're meeting people and when you see someone and you wanna become friends friends, or at least spark something , something wonderful, a wonderful conversation, a little, meet cute moment, a feel good moment, whatever it is, right? The notebook comes in handy. 
Matt actually has been doing this with beer and other things and other things. . Matt has a beer notebook. So when we moved to Boulder, There were so many beers knobs there, and that's when we got into a crowd of friends.
That was their business. Is that they, what? What did they do? Soma, or how do you say it? Soma, Somal. How do you say 
[00:01:52] ]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:20:59</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The FedEx Delivery]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 03 Oct 2022 01:11:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/11391/episode/1285866</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-fedex-delivery</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Case of the missing couch, FedEx, and the opportunity to meet friends; the opportunity to make friends in almost every situation, even situations where it seems like, things are awry. Proof that friendship exists everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this is Fawn and Matt. Case of the missing couch and FedEx and the opportunity to meet friends, the opportunity to make friends in almost every situation, even situations where it seems like, things are awry. You all know we moved and we have had so many deliveries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We had no furniture, we bought furniture and a lot of it was being delivered through FedEx and one very heavy package was lost out in the world. No idea where; nobody knew where it was. Lots of calls to the company we bought it from , lots of calls to FedEx.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Nobody knew. Ultimately it was this FedEx delivery that landed us to this new friendship, friendship that we're telling you about. So what happened was the couch was missing. It was declared, lost. FedEx said, oh, it was delivered to the wrong address . But we don't know where it is now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, well, what, what address was it delivered to? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Nice and simple. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They wouldn't tell me anyway, one morning I go to bed at 4:30 in the morning because I was unpacking and doing whatever work that needs to be done in this house. And I went to bed at 4:30 and around seven o'clock, seven 30.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Was it seven o'clock Matt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It was around 7. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's a knock at the door. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Boom, boom, boom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The kids are running upstairs. They're like, there's someone at the door. This man in yellow is at the door. He wants something. And I was thinking, oh my God, another salesperson, like, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[...</span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Case of the missing couch, FedEx, and the opportunity to meet friends; the opportunity to make friends in almost every situation, even situations where it seems like, things are awry. Proof that friendship exists everywhere.
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody.
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello, 
[00:00:02] Fawn: this is Fawn and Matt. Case of the missing couch and FedEx and the opportunity to meet friends, the opportunity to make friends in almost every situation, even situations where it seems like, things are awry. You all know we moved and we have had so many deliveries.
We had no furniture, we bought furniture and a lot of it was being delivered through FedEx and one very heavy package was lost out in the world. No idea where; nobody knew where it was. Lots of calls to the company we bought it from , lots of calls to FedEx.
Nobody knew. Ultimately it was this FedEx delivery that landed us to this new friendship, friendship that we're telling you about. So what happened was the couch was missing. It was declared, lost. FedEx said, oh, it was delivered to the wrong address . But we don't know where it is now.
I'm like, well, what, what address was it delivered to? 
[00:01:11] Matt: Right. Nice and simple. 
[00:01:12] Fawn: They wouldn't tell me anyway, one morning I go to bed at 4:30 in the morning because I was unpacking and doing whatever work that needs to be done in this house. And I went to bed at 4:30 and around seven o'clock, seven 30.
Was it seven o'clock Matt?
[00:01:31] Matt: It was around 7. 
[00:01:33] Fawn: There's a knock at the door. 
[00:01:34] Matt: Boom, boom, boom. 
[00:01:34] Fawn: The kids are running upstairs. They're like, there's someone at the door. This man in yellow is at the door. He wants something. And I was thinking, oh my God, another salesperson, like, because 
[...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The FedEx Delivery]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Case of the missing couch, FedEx, and the opportunity to meet friends; the opportunity to make friends in almost every situation, even situations where it seems like, things are awry. Proof that friendship exists everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this is Fawn and Matt. Case of the missing couch and FedEx and the opportunity to meet friends, the opportunity to make friends in almost every situation, even situations where it seems like, things are awry. You all know we moved and we have had so many deliveries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We had no furniture, we bought furniture and a lot of it was being delivered through FedEx and one very heavy package was lost out in the world. No idea where; nobody knew where it was. Lots of calls to the company we bought it from , lots of calls to FedEx.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Nobody knew. Ultimately it was this FedEx delivery that landed us to this new friendship, friendship that we're telling you about. So what happened was the couch was missing. It was declared, lost. FedEx said, oh, it was delivered to the wrong address . But we don't know where it is now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, well, what, what address was it delivered to? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Nice and simple. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They wouldn't tell me anyway, one morning I go to bed at 4:30 in the morning because I was unpacking and doing whatever work that needs to be done in this house. And I went to bed at 4:30 and around seven o'clock, seven 30.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Was it seven o'clock Matt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It was around 7. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's a knock at the door. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Boom, boom, boom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The kids are running upstairs. They're like, there's someone at the door. This man in yellow is at the door. He wants something. And I was thinking, oh my God, another salesperson, like, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we found our fair share of those </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. As soon as you move, lots of people come over and they, they want you to use their services. So I wasn't very friendly. I was like, who is it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What do you want?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was kind of leaning out as much as I could from the window and I wasn't dressed. So it was like super early for me, because I had only gone to bed at four 30 and it was like seven.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oops. So it was this man. Did he introduce himself as Al to you? He did. That's why he's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Al to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he's Al to you and everybody's like, oh, you mean Alan? He never goes by Al I'm. Like, he told us Al </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you know what? Anyway, it was early. So who knows? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We digress. Anyway. He's like, I have had your package at my house, and this is where I live.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're like, whoa, we don't even know where that is. Like, we have no idea </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> where, well I heard I live at and (nondiscript sound) <span style="color:#b2b2b2;">(non discript)</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">then a word . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so you went down to get his address. So I'm like, okay, cool. We'll deal with it. And in the next 30 minutes, so I thought I could go and just close my eyes for another 30, you know, when you're so tired, Your eyes are burning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was like that. I was just like, let me just close my eyes for 30 minutes, a few minutes later. Boom, boom, boom. The kids were running upstairs. There's someone out the door, it's a woman this time and I'm like, okay. And I go to the same window from upstairs and I can't see them. I'm like, who is it? And this woman comes up and she means business.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She's like, I have a package of yours. Come get it. I'm at this address. I'm like, I don't know where that is. We just moved here. We have no idea the street names, like, I don't know, and I need to grab a pencil. Can you just give me 30 seconds? And I'll be right down in 30 seconds. So within 15, 20 seconds, I got something on me and I was running down the stairs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I opened the front door and there's no one there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whshoo (Matt makes a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">fast </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> running sound).</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I thought I was hallucinating. . I'm like, did I make this up? Did, did this really happen? I'm like Matt, she disappeared. You saw her, right? You heard her? You're like, yeah. I'm like, she's not here. I don't know what to do. So that now that's two packages.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Two separate houses came to us today saying they have our package</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and we were missing two things </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and we were missing two things from FedEx. As I'm standing there, I was about to start crying cause I was just exhausted and overwhelmed. All of a sudden, this van pulls up and out outcomes, this woman and a man that was with her that looked like a superhero right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Muscles like the size of bowling balls. on his arms, right? Yes. And so he's like lift, I, I didn't like time was warped because all of a sudden I blink and then you're carrying this thing with this man. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I wasn't just gonna let him do it. Come </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I mean, I'm saying I blinked and then boom, there you. at the van and walking backwards with this heavy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> package.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this woman who was guiding you guys, and then she saved you cuz you were headed fast into the pole, the light, the light, the lamp pole, whatever it's called. I don't know. It would've been bad. You were headed right for it. Right. She saved you. And at the same time, She was helping me. She's like, oh honey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she gave me a hug cuz she, she saw tears up like welling up in my eyes anyway. So that is how we met Bridget and Russ. They delivered this thing to our door right before work. And then. Took off. And then we had to figure out who were these people like and where do they live? And thank goodness, our neighbor next door knows everybody .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so she told us, oh, I think they're at this address now they're like two and a half blocks away. Right. It's just, it gives you an idea of this community. Like that was amazing that they did that. Right. And so now we had to track the first man Allen and where he lived and it turns out he's cousins with the next door neighbor in some fashion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Loosely termed, maybe cousin. I don't know. I don't, we don't know. We don't know. So anyway, that sparked a beautiful little "Meet Cute"</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">before, before all this happened, we bought 300. Thank you cards 300, probably over 300, actually. Maybe it's three 50. It doesn't matter. We bought a lot of thank you cards.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, we did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And for a family member who did something really nice for us, we sent 40 thank yous for one particular thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was really funny to have all 40 show up at their mailbox </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> almost the same time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Minus one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So this message is about looking at every opportunity as an opening for a "Meet-Cute", an opening for a friendship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, what, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">what's a meet </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">cute? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> A "Meet-Cute". We learned the term Meet-Cute from a movie we saw. In the old older movies meet cutes were where the lead characters in a movie come together in a cute way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, like people who end up falling in love with each other, but I use the term for friendships meet cute. It's how you meet. It's the story that evolves. It's the story that revolves around how you meet. Meet Cute. Right? How would you, how did y'all meet? How did you, how would you describe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Meet cute. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, that's perfect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, it's a story you can tell if somebody ever asks you, how did y'all meet? Well, in this case with, with these people, it was like, well, they showed up one day with the couch </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> FedEx brought us together a missed delivery, but in a way, like to not get upset over a</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">mixed up situation, to see how there was a gift in it, there was a gift within the loss of this package. We could have gotten upset over it, things happen. Right. But there's always a gift in the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">can interpret it a variety of different ways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like when they first showed up with the couch, I. Well, this is a woman who just didn't wanna wait for us and just said, screw it. I'm just gonna drop the couch off on the front porch. And that's how we, and that's how I interpreted it initially. She was just frustrated with our inability to actually make it to the door.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And yeah, I thought, yeah, it's amazing where our thoughts go because I thought, oh, she hates us. like, she's probably thinking who are these buffoons? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I just don't want these people anywhere near my house. So I'm just gonna drop this off here and just not have to deal </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">with them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We just went to the worst place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And that's what happens when you're tired also true. Right. And you're, you're overwhelmed. And when we first moved here, we were definitely swindled by a crook. So we were on guard also. Right. And so, you know, no matter what happens, you can have your feelings hurt. You can have situations where people do you wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's really important to stay open and positive and not hold a grudge about life, right? Because of the circumstances that happen, things go awry, messes happen, but just know there are always gifts available. That's the message for today. We're not gonna talk too long. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, for me, it's intent. And, how you choose to view things again, which is kind of restating what you said. If you assume good intent from people. And you attempt to see good intent from people then, you have a shot at making a friend. If you assume bad intent all the time from people, then you're closing yourself off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's actually sadly where we started. But as it turns out, Bridget was so lovely. It was impossible to stay there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Bridget and Russ. Yes, A love story. And so what happened was that we used our thank you cards. We made sure that we didn't leave it there. Cause we could have left it there. We could have left it as, oh, that was nice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They delivered this thing to us and we said, thank you at the time we could have left it there, but we wanted to pursue it. We wanted to get to know these people. So we wrote, thank you. Thank you. Card and Allegra Baked a baguette, a freshly baked like hot baguette. Delicious. And we figured out the address from our next door neighbor and we delivered it to her and she, I don't think she recognized us when we pounded on our door.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No and we explained really quickly who we were. She's like, oh yeah, we were. So we gave her the thank you card and the bread and left her phone number and said, please, please. If there's anything we can do for you we're we we've got you. Right. And that we'd like to keep, keep in touch and we invited her over.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she actually, before that invited us in, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> she did, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> which is rare also, you know, you knock on someone's door. It's rare that anyone says, please come in. You know what I'm saying? Yes. And that was the first thing she did. Right. And there </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> was like four of us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? Yeah, we had the kids with us, we didn't go in because we had to go back home really quick to make dinner.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I had work to do, but this is another example of always going further to do one more little baby step towards a friendship. And for me, for us, that was making sure that we kept in touch with these. that Bridget and Russ are family members. We're family, we're friends. You know what I'm saying now?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Absolutely. And so we invited them over to something that we're doing today. We're planting a tree. We're going to do a little ceremony in honor of friendship, community and family. We're baking cupcakes and we've invited all the neighbors to partake in a cupcake and the sprinkling of water into this newly planted tree in our front yard to, to what's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How, how would you explain it, that to bring about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">community.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, it's about bringing the community together for an event and the event can be trivial. It's in the same way that I describe I'll text the people I know that I haven't talked to in a while thanksgiving's an excellent opportunity to do this, just to say, Hey, happy Thanksgiving, hope all's going well, peace out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you know, that's one way of at least applying a little tension on the friendship to, you know, if they respond back then, you know, maybe you guys can have a conversation or whatever it is, but this again helps foster that kind of a thing. But this is face to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">face. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Really not waiting for a Thanksgiving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Just doing it randomly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Throughout the year. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And that's just, it, I said, Thanksgiving is a good opportunity cuz Thanksgiving's coming down the pike, but so is Halloween. So is, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there's always something </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there's always something fall Equinox and who </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> happened just for the fun of it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And sometimes it's just because of Saturday.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hey. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes it's I feel like baking a cupcake, everybody come over and partake, you know, and. That's that's the thing. we're actively pursuing that. Now. Be brave and keep going. Create and foster a growing blossoming family. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And family is beyond what you're born into family is your global family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So a tree planting the tree is a perfect example of a blossoming growing relationship. Yes. And, you know, we don't know how to plant things. We don't know how to plant a tree. So we asked for help. The neighbors came over and taught us how to do it and, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and helped us plant the tree, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> frankly. Yeah, because we need each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank goodness. Remember how we would tell you guys that one of the, one of the deal breakers for us was when we would ask people for help, for advice, they would tell us to go Google it. And for me that was a deal breaker. Like that's the rudest thing you can say to me. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Particularly if you have expertise in that area, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ridiculous.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Like why? And then they would tell us, like, you know, Google. I'm like this was years ago. Right. And I would turn to Matt and just look at him and talk to him, telepathically, like, is this person legit right now telling you if you know about Google, like you are the techiest tech ever computer guy, like, okay, buddy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thanks. Thank you. Thank you very much for your assistance. And like in the, in the amount of time that they spent wasting their energy telling us how to Google something. They could have easily told us a quick answer to the question we had for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> them. Right. Or just say, well, you know, you can't Google it, but this is my experience.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. I mean, for goodness sake. Yeah, of course </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Google it. But, and, and not to dwell on the negative right now. So we're, we're dwelling on the positive. I wanna leave it at that, make it a quick show today. But just to remember, there is always an opportunity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is always magic around you. There are always your people around you. Be brave and just go with it. It's a dance, jump in there and do the dance. Bridget and Russ did the dance brought over this thing. They didn't expect anything, but we jumped in and were like, Hey, thank you. Here's some bread.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You wanna hang out with us? And they said, yes, you know, right. Community, the friendship. That's what it is. So tune in, we'll see where this leads. We'll tell you more about Bridget and Russ and this new friendship. So, what have you been up to? Let us know, go to our friendly world podcast.com let us know what you think. We'll talk to you in a few days. Take care. Be well, bye.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Case of the missing couch, FedEx, and the opportunity to meet friends; the opportunity to make friends in almost every situation, even situations where it seems like, things are awry. Proof that friendship exists everywhere.
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody.
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello, 
[00:00:02] Fawn: this is Fawn and Matt. Case of the missing couch and FedEx and the opportunity to meet friends, the opportunity to make friends in almost every situation, even situations where it seems like, things are awry. You all know we moved and we have had so many deliveries.
We had no furniture, we bought furniture and a lot of it was being delivered through FedEx and one very heavy package was lost out in the world. No idea where; nobody knew where it was. Lots of calls to the company we bought it from , lots of calls to FedEx.
Nobody knew. Ultimately it was this FedEx delivery that landed us to this new friendship, friendship that we're telling you about. So what happened was the couch was missing. It was declared, lost. FedEx said, oh, it was delivered to the wrong address . But we don't know where it is now.
I'm like, well, what, what address was it delivered to? 
[00:01:11] Matt: Right. Nice and simple. 
[00:01:12] Fawn: They wouldn't tell me anyway, one morning I go to bed at 4:30 in the morning because I was unpacking and doing whatever work that needs to be done in this house. And I went to bed at 4:30 and around seven o'clock, seven 30.
Was it seven o'clock Matt?
[00:01:31] Matt: It was around 7. 
[00:01:33] Fawn: There's a knock at the door. 
[00:01:34] Matt: Boom, boom, boom. 
[00:01:34] Fawn: The kids are running upstairs. They're like, there's someone at the door. This man in yellow is at the door. He wants something. And I was thinking, oh my God, another salesperson, like, because 
[...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1285866/Love-is-everywhere.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:17:05</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Earth Is A Small Town and Everyone Is Your Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 25 Sep 2022 19:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/earth-is-a-small-town-and-everyone-is-your-friend</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/earth-is-a-small-town-and-everyone-is-your-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This is our very first episode in a public place with in-person live conversations at the local coffee shop!!!!!!!!!!!! Wanting to lead by example, Fawn and Matt share their meet-cute moment on their friendships with Marianne, Danielle, and Hillary. This conversation is all about how to notice the magic, being brave enough to see people, say "Hello" and go further by sparking conversation, creating friendship, and continuing friendship when you come to points of disagreement, learning from those disagreements, and developing the art of a strong friendship.   <br /><br />Fawn, Matt, Marianne, Danielle, and Hillary share how they all met and prove how the world is a small town and you are surrounded by friendship.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To reach out to us, please go to:</p>
<p>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Earth Is A Small Town</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The earth is a small town and everybody's your friend. And I dare say, even now with everything that's going around in the world, Uhhuh what's, what's going on in the world. It is still as true as ever that the earth is a small town.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And everybody's your friend. Seriously. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, but what's this racket and I keep hearing around us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Hi everybody. We are back. This is our first time out in the wild unmasked, even and we are out, we are at a coffee shop in the most, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. We moved Matt and I moved here we are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this is what happens. The show is more about the art of the start and throughout the last two and a half years, talking to you all, I kind of deep down felt like a hypocrite, talking about friendship and going out there and creating bonds and meeting friends and developing and nurturing friendships</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">when we were sitting all by our lone sums in our kitchen, talking about it. Hey, so here we are. And we're gonna tell you how we did. So here's what happened. It was the power of a coupon. Matt had a coupon for a coffee shop. I had </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a, how many years I had a gift card, two </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> years, two years. You had a coupon for coffee two years.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was in his wallet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So just as the pandemic broke, and one of the things that convinced us that this pandemic might not be a joke was I was gonna go meet with Amazon in Colorado. And I was gonna go to their offices and they were gonna do their spiel and give us free food and whatever. Right. I was just gonna go check it out.</span>...</span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This is our very first episode in a public place with in-person live conversations at the local coffee shop!!!!!!!!!!!! Wanting to lead by example, Fawn and Matt share their meet-cute moment on their friendships with Marianne, Danielle, and Hillary. This conversation is all about how to notice the magic, being brave enough to see people, say "Hello" and go further by sparking conversation, creating friendship, and continuing friendship when you come to points of disagreement, learning from those disagreements, and developing the art of a strong friendship.   Fawn, Matt, Marianne, Danielle, and Hillary share how they all met and prove how the world is a small town and you are surrounded by friendship.
 
To reach out to us, please go to:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
The Earth Is A Small Town
[00:00:00] Fawn: The earth is a small town and everybody's your friend. And I dare say, even now with everything that's going around in the world, Uhhuh what's, what's going on in the world. It is still as true as ever that the earth is a small town.
And everybody's your friend. Seriously. 
[00:00:20] Matt: Yeah, but what's this racket and I keep hearing around us. 
[00:00:23] Fawn: Okay. Hi everybody. We are back. This is our first time out in the wild unmasked, even and we are out, we are at a coffee shop in the most, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. We moved Matt and I moved here we are.
And this is what happens. The show is more about the art of the start and throughout the last two and a half years, talking to you all, I kind of deep down felt like a hypocrite, talking about friendship and going out there and creating bonds and meeting friends and developing and nurturing friendships
when we were sitting all by our lone sums in our kitchen, talking about it. Hey, so here we are. And we're gonna tell you how we did. So here's what happened. It was the power of a coupon. Matt had a coupon for a coffee shop. I had 
[00:01:21] Matt: a, how many years I had a gift card, two 
[00:01:23] Fawn: years, two years. You had a coupon for coffee two years.
It was in his wallet. 
[00:01:30] Matt: So just as the pandemic broke, and one of the things that convinced us that this pandemic might not be a joke was I was gonna go meet with Amazon in Colorado. And I was gonna go to their offices and they were gonna do their spiel and give us free food and whatever. Right. I was just gonna go check it out....]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Earth Is A Small Town and Everyone Is Your Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This is our very first episode in a public place with in-person live conversations at the local coffee shop!!!!!!!!!!!! Wanting to lead by example, Fawn and Matt share their meet-cute moment on their friendships with Marianne, Danielle, and Hillary. This conversation is all about how to notice the magic, being brave enough to see people, say "Hello" and go further by sparking conversation, creating friendship, and continuing friendship when you come to points of disagreement, learning from those disagreements, and developing the art of a strong friendship.   <br /><br />Fawn, Matt, Marianne, Danielle, and Hillary share how they all met and prove how the world is a small town and you are surrounded by friendship.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To reach out to us, please go to:</p>
<p>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Earth Is A Small Town</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The earth is a small town and everybody's your friend. And I dare say, even now with everything that's going around in the world, Uhhuh what's, what's going on in the world. It is still as true as ever that the earth is a small town.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And everybody's your friend. Seriously. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, but what's this racket and I keep hearing around us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Hi everybody. We are back. This is our first time out in the wild unmasked, even and we are out, we are at a coffee shop in the most, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. We moved Matt and I moved here we are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this is what happens. The show is more about the art of the start and throughout the last two and a half years, talking to you all, I kind of deep down felt like a hypocrite, talking about friendship and going out there and creating bonds and meeting friends and developing and nurturing friendships</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">when we were sitting all by our lone sums in our kitchen, talking about it. Hey, so here we are. And we're gonna tell you how we did. So here's what happened. It was the power of a coupon. Matt had a coupon for a coffee shop. I had </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a, how many years I had a gift card, two </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> years, two years. You had a coupon for coffee two years.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was in his wallet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So just as the pandemic broke, and one of the things that convinced us that this pandemic might not be a joke was I was gonna go meet with Amazon in Colorado. And I was gonna go to their offices and they were gonna do their spiel and give us free food and whatever. Right. I was just gonna go check it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I like talking to people. I like talking tech. That's what I do. So I scheduled to go and just before I went, they canceled the event due to COVID and I was like, but, but this thing isn't, this was before it was a big deal. and I was like, but this thing, isn't a big uhoh this thing is a big deal. Isn't it? So they gave me this lovely gift card to speak with a, uh, Amazon person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I said, cool, it's free money. So I printed it out and I just held onto it. Okay. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> held onto it. But making the story short. Yes. You had a coupon and it was, uh, it was a coffee shop. We normally don't go to, but anyway, you had this thing in your wallet and we never went out. We never really ventured out. The past two and a half years, we were in our kitchen the whole time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. So we moved guys and Matt's like, I want to use my coupon. So we walk into this lovely coffee shop and it was pretty empty. It was super early in the morning. The weather was all dewy and Misty and the birds were chirping and we were completely irrational. I thought that, I mean, I still do look like a maniac because this move was probably one of the hardest and we've had some hard moves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This move was the hardest you guys. It was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, maybe because I was doing most of it. Why do you always disagree with me? Are you serious right now? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Are you? I actually am. We've had </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">harder moves. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Uh, this one was hard. I usually set up the house in three days. I'm very military minded about it. I like get things done.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Boom. We're ready to go. But I think we're on week three now and we are still surrounded with boxes in our home. Anyway, I digress. Thanks Matt. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the thing is, I didn't feel good. I felt like I looked like a maniac. and we were sleep deprived. So we walk into this establishment. We walk into this lovely coffee shop and there was one person in, in there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know. I didn't notice anybody else. I noticed one person, this beautiful woman sitting in the corner. And the only thing, cuz you know, even though I'm a photographer, I don't notice any details on people. I it's all about a vibe. I pick up feelings. That's all I do. I pick up feelings, Matt reads and scans the whole room.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And can tell you everything that was written down. What was identity? What was that? No born identity. What was that guy? The movie where he walks in and he notices everything in the room. You know, minority report. I don't know, with, with the guy with Ben Affleck's best </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> friend. Right, right. Matt Damon, but you're probably thinking Born Identity, but I haven't seen that movie </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a long whatever, you know, that kind of ability where you can like spot things out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thanks for disagreeing with everything I say. So what I'm saying is I, I only get the vibes. I get a feeling. I can't tell you what color anything was or what it looked like. I can tell you what it felt like, but what I did notice. This lovely woman was sitting there and she was wearing pajama pants. I'm like, oh my God, our people, our people, because that's what Matt and I do once in a rare moon.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we laugh to ourselves so hard cuz it's like, yeah, we did it. You know, totally defying society, coming out in our pajama pants. Anyway, I saw the pajama pants and the way she was sitting was like, Statuesque model like a model just sitting there anyway. So I'm like, I'm not gonna look at her too much because I look insane and she's probably gonna think I'm crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's just order our drinks. We order our drinks and then this person leaves and I felt immediately sad. I'm like, oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> she left. It's</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">time out, time out. Rewind,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> rewind. Okay. When we walked in, I did notice the whole room. That's what I do. And although she may deny it, she went up and down, she looked at both of us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> She studied us. She memorized us. I swear to God. And that's just it, when I looked over I'm like, is that like an FBI person? Or what's the story? Yeah, you took my, because yeah, because it was the classic story. I have a buddy who's a cop. And, always back to the wall, knows where all the exits are and looks at everybody coming in the room and the whole bit that's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's the way his brain is wired and there's good reasons for that. And, and you, there was a very similar vibe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So when she left immediately, Matt started talking about her and at this point we're ordering our coffee at the same time and the lovely person that was working with our drinks. Was like, okay, what do you want?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, hold on. Was that person that just left? Was that FBI? I literally, I asked her that and she starts laughing and she said, no, that's Marianne. She's our regular . So we were sad because she left and we're like, well, okay, well, let's go sit outside anyway. We go sit outside and here she comes again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and we're like, no way here she comes again. And I'm like, I don't wanna miss another opportunity. So we just jumped in there and we started to talk, right. Matt pay attention, right? Yeah. So what happened? What I forgot, exactly what started our conversation anyway, I'm telling you all this because</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">this kind of stuff happens all the time. There is magic around us all the time, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> if you pay attention.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> When we started this podcast some years ago, I told you the reason actually, before the podcast that we started, this whole friendship thing, remembering the art of friendship is because Matt and I, all of a sudden felt .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I I've been feeling it for decades. Every time I go on a photo shoot and I come back, especially to the United. I'm like, whoa, this is not my idea of friendship. Like what is happening? So over the last 20 years, I've noticed every time I come back to the United States and it's now spreading to other countries, but like every time I come back, I'm like, what is happening?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The art, it's an art and it's disappearing. We don't know how to talk to each other. And it's being made worse now by everyone getting involved in politics and like it it's ridiculous. It's unnecessary. And it's like, you have to be brave to say, hello, you have to be brave. Like, is that it's crazy?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, it's like, you have to be brave. I'm not saying you have to be brave to say hello, but it's like, people are afraid to make connections and then they think, well, I can make a friend, no problem. But here's the thing, our society, our culture has moved in such a way that even when you make friends, there is an art to keeping a friend because people get annoyed, people get, um, what's the word?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, um, what's the word? When they get like offended, offended, that's the word I was looking for. People get offended for whatever reason. You get triggered by something that really has to do with you, you know, and I'm saying, if there's a charge that you're connecting to and someone says something it's all on me, if I'm all of a sudden offended, but if I don't have a charge on whatever it is that offended me, I don't care.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What I'm trying to say is that we're gonna use our examples, present day with all this noise in a coffee shop, to introduce you to three beautiful friends that we made that feel like home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It feels like we have been family forever. And we're gonna tell you exactly how we met and how we sparked it and how we initiated the whole thing of us all getting together. So everybody, I want you to meet your new friends. We have Marianne. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:39]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> Good morning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Maryanne is the one in the pajama pants, the FBI , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> which is very hilarious. Yes. The pajama pants and the trench coat that I wore was totally out of comfort. Yeah. And not caring. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. I love it. I love it. So Marianne then the following week introduced us to Danielle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:09]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> Hello, everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is my daughter in the background. Marianne is one of my best friends and, um, I cannot wait to tell you more about our </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">friendship, so</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I wanna hear everything and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:27]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And can I just say how gracious you all are for sharing each other's friendship with us? And then we have to tell you about your next new friend, Hillary, the way we met her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it turned out that Hillary and Marianne were friends. So we'll, we'll tell you what happened next, but everyone, please meet your new friend, Hillary. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:48]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> Hello.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Now I have a nickname for you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh no. Oh no. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's, it's crazy. Not crazy. Milk. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:58]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So here's what happened. This is why Matt is calling Hillary crazy milk lady. Uh, uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> uh, crazy, not crazy milk lady. Okay. Okay. So it's very important that you hear </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the "not" in there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Hillary, I need you to tell us exactly everything, but I'm gonna tell the backup story of why Matt calls you that is that okay?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. So we, we met Marianne, she came back in the coffee shop and she introduced us to her friend, Bill who's sitting behind us right. Staring at us through his glasses. We talked and then they had to go and then we're like, okay let's go to the store. So we went, we went to check out the local store. We had never been there. We go in there, we pull into the parking lot and right when we pulled in, I looked in front of us and I said, I bet you we're gonna run into Marianne right here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just have a feeling. I didn't express it out loud, but that's totally what I thought. So we go in the store. We wander up and down the aisles to figure out, well, how much does this cost in this area, ? Like, we were just noticing everything. We made a big commotion, cause we wanted to apply for the discount card for the store.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And this whole time I kept seeing someone push this card that had a bazillion gallons of milk in it. Right. A bazillion. Uh, uh, and we kept going to similar aisles and then I turned to you when we went to the checkout. I'm like Matt, "Got Milk?" I was like trying to make a funny, and you're like, we don't need milk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I. Because if it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> was a joke, because the one who observes everything all the time completely missed, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> completely missed this one time. The one time I noticed something, alls </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I saw was a big cart of milk as we were walking to check out and I was like, is this some kind of a grab, a milk, one, buy one, get one free, cuz there's no way anybody has that in their cart.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cuz that would be crazy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So going through this whole fiasco, maneuvering around the store, we end up back to the car and we're trying to put stuff, jam stuff in the trunk of our car. And then who pulls, who has pulled up right in front of our car, in the spot in front of our car, Marianne. But now she looks totally different cuz she went home showered and changed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you looked so different but we still, I still recognized you. And then who comes up? But Hillary with all the gallons of milk and you guys were like, Hey, I'm like, I can't believe these people know each other. What is happening? Is this the town we live in? So anyway, that is introduction to Hillary. And, and so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> then I had to ask, okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why? Because I'm like, I, I had two thoughts in my head, obviously. Number one is of course you're crazy. And number two was you probably run a business like a bakery or something, and you were picking up lots of milk because you needed lots of milk for your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">business. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that was the case. Hillary was getting milk for the coffee shop</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we were all at. So Hillary, hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:56]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> Good morning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So what did you think about two crazy people and one part in particular, asking you all about your business. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:02]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> I am always happy to meet new people here. And this is such a small town that I feel like every time I leave the house, I run into somebody that I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you know, when I was saying the world, the planet is a small town and everyone's your friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It turns out we are from the same part of the world and Hillary. Did the same thing we did. Cause you know, we made our move here and then we felt bad. We're like, are we insane? Because we literally came here, sight unseen. We traveled all over the state trying to find where we belong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Didn't find it went back to Colorado, all deflated. And then by some, by some coincidence found a way back here to this town we had never been to before. House never seen it. And, um, the other day I was, you know, I cry every day cuz I'm like, what have we done? Is this a mistake? I mean, if it's not stuff exploding in the house, it is a bear walking around in the yard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What? And so anyway, so, so one told me to go on this social app, which I never do and I did. And then here comes Hillary. I was like, hi, we met at the supermarket and at the coffee shop, I'm like, oh my God, milk . And so we turned, it, turned out that Hillary also has the same experience of, did I tell you this Matt, site unseen a year ago, a year before us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you also went through that whole coming here and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:42]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> exactly. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">didn't see the house until move-in day, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Same with us. Same with. And you said the most beautiful things about this town and it's true, incredibly friendly people. And, you know, we both come from an area of the country that is gorgeous, but this place is it's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's. Another animal is amazing. So going back to our story, this is how we do it. The art of the start being brave enough to go past a look , I think in our culture, we've gotten to a point where we can't even look at each other because God forbid, what are you looking at? My hat? Are you, am I wearing the wrong color?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What am I going to spark? Is it going to spark some outrage? Or, you know me, I'm thinking, oh my God, are they looking at me because I'm not Caucasian. They don't want me here. Do you know what I'm saying? There's so many thoughts that happen at the same time. So to go past all these issues now that we all have is a big hurdle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So how do, how did we do it guys, Marianne take over. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> I just wanted to mention that my own perception of how things went down in terms of how I saw both of you walking in. I was sitting in a seat that I don't ever sit in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so the other seat that I normally sit in doesn't have a view of people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when I was looking at you, which I didn't know that I was looking at you up and down, but I'm trusting Matt</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I guess I do have a way of quickly glancing and surmising. That's a good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> skill. Surmising, surmising. I like that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> word. So I looked at you and I thought to myself, Either. I just never see people here because of where I'm sitting or they are brand new . And then I looked at both of you and I saw beautiful hair on both of you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's actually what I was very much noticing and probably staring </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> at, you know, what's so weird. Marianne is I never, get a haircut but for this move, I specifically had my hair cut and designed in the hopes of meeting new friends. So like, I kind of, I, I did a haircut specifically in honor of starting a start.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I'm saying? Like starting a friendship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> Yes. Cutting off past experiences. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And, and, and what's the word? Spooking, Sping specifying. You know, like polishing, you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like to say, shjoosj </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> know, to it up it's ceremonial. , it is quite important. I think it was directly linked for me being open enough, no matter how incredibly sleep deprived and tired I was feeling and in pain from moving I still had that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had that ceremony that, that kind of kicked things off. So I think that's another key, is however way we can ghjoogh ourselves up. It doesn't have to be a haircut. It could be polishing your shoes. It could be wearing something on you that, that gives you some extra superpower. I think that's key to meeting people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> honestly, honestly brings up a little self confidence </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and also a blanket of security </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> security blanket. Yes. But if you're like, dang, I look good. . You're much more likely to, you know, feel comfortable and confident </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:28]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> and approach people. And on the flip side, ,when you wear pajama pants and don't care, there is a self-assuredness that you may not even be aware of, but it's kind of attracting the correct people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Matt calls it. You're down to clown. Remember? I absolutely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> always down to clown. Yeah. Yeah. Just like our dear friend, Danielle, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Danielle. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:56]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> Um, so on friendship, I just wanna say, I think it starts by teaching our kids young, that people are to be friendly and to look at them and just say, hi. I see so much as an educator and as a mom, that people shy kids away from others and they learn very early on that it's something to be scared of. And I really made an effort as having a young kid to have her say hi to everybody and to look at them. And, she's very self self-assured in that, which makes me very proud. I love how much you love this town.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As you know, I grew up here, I'm still in the same house that I grew up in. And I'm part of the town. I know everybody in this town and it's really special because you see the same people and you create those relationships. And I've been to many other places and not having that community and not being part of it is hard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think to make friendships, it's an effort and something that I try every day to do so, like being involved in as many things as possible and getting yourself out of your comfort zone, which is really hard. But as many people, as I know, I think real friendships are really hard to come by and Marianne and I have had lots of talks about that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think what makes our friendship real is that we're honest with each other, like we have honest fights and she tells me, honestly, when I'm a poop and I can be honest with her and there has been there's very, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's we all are. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">definitely, as Danielle just mentioned, I can certainly know that I can be a poop at times, but certainly not intentionally.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And at times you have to bring that to light to your friend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And that's what I'm talking about, being brave and having the capacity to deal with our poppiness everybody, everybody poops everybody is poopy at some point </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:01]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> I'm a preschool teacher. So that's my language. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> ha well a again, circling back to early on in our relationship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, so when we were dating, we had a fight because we had a fight because that's what happens in relationships, friendships or romantic, and Fawn was like, it's over. We had a fight and her friend said no, no, no, no, no. You had a fight now you guys can get married. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:27]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> And that's the thing, real friendships and real relationships you fight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> I don't like to call it fighting. I like to call it boundary finding. Oh, that might be a semantics thing. But fighting sounds very intense to me, right? It is. And I am </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> intense. So, you know, that is so true because first of all words have such power and that's another thing I noticed every time I came back to the United States is our words in our advertisements.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And everything. Our words are so violent in America. Like everything, even, even a cupcake show is cupcake wars, war it's war, like for a cupcake. Oh my goodness. We have to really, really get control over that. That words have power and we create through the power of the word. So you're right. Fight is not a good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Perfect. See, you are such a genius, a disagreement. It it's a boundary finding, even disagreement, boundary, finding, boundary, finding. I love it. I love it. I think a lot of friendships it's great. You can start one, but the art of continuing on, usually you have to continue on once you get to that boundary setting</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">state. And that's where people are like, well, I'm walking away from that, you know, which is what yeah. Which is what a lot of people do. Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:04]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> so I was just gonna say is I have a lot of friendships. I feel like are very surface, you know, how's it going, but to get those real deep friendships, when you have those boundary finding moments, actually working through those.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's when I think like our friendship got to another level for me. And I, a lot of times when those boundary finding moments happen, one are both people just, it's easier to just walk away from it and say, well, it's not worth it, but it is worth it. And to have those deeper relationships and those deeper conversations, because our heart </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">needs it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely our hearts need it. Our economy needs it. Our country needs it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:47]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> You know, we all need it. Um, yeah. And it's okay to have disagreements. And what I find in today's world is, is like, if we don't agree on politics or religion or whatever it is, it's like, we can't be friends and that's not how I grew up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or I know a lot of us did. We just might not. Is the exact same way. I find it really interesting. I see it from the other person's point of view, like explain to me why you feel that. And a lot of times we're really similar and like, oh, I see that. And I understand how you see that I might not wanna vote for that same person or whatever it is, but I get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I always try to figure out like why they feel that way. Cause I find it really </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">interesting </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt and I, When we started the podcast, I was really focused on doing events in the community to talk about all these issues. And one of the people that I, I enjoyed listening to that I totally agreed with was like the kind of guy who works with the government and he works with hostage situations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he also said that when he's, he deals with terrorism and getting people back that were hostages and so he said that bottom line, people are not heard. If, no matter who you're dealing with, no matter what kind of extreme situation you're dealing with, if the person feels heard by you, you will have resolution.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I think when a person is heard, all of a sudden, now you're getting through, you're getting past the emotional blockers that somebody has in their mind. Cuz I always talk about how if you're emotionally connected to something it's really hard to do anything with that, you can only really speak to the logical part.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so there's a couple corollaries that, uh, logic, can't get you out of a problem that emotion's gotten you into, et cetera, et cetera. And anybody's, who's ever fallen for the wrong person. Knows exactly how that one feels. So, yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> absolutely. Like I didn't tell you this. Um, Matt, but like yesterday, the girls and I were at the store and we saw this person and we stood there for 15 minutes and had the most lovely heart to heart talk. Because I saw great beauty and genius in this person that had nothing to do with politics, but I could tell the man wanted to start crying because we recognized his genius, his love, like, and we had a human interaction and I knew I had a friend, you know, even though we had, you know, let's, let's take whatever it was that we thought we labeled him as let's take it out of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But. It was just beautiful. And we made a friend and honestly, like, I felt like we had each other's backs and it just got back to that village feeling of the earth is a small town and everybody is your friend, so you guys, this is our first real, like in person conversation because every time we've met, this is our third time meeting, but we've never sat down to have a conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is our first conversation together, aside from quick texts. But look, you guys, this is our first conversation and we went deep. Do you know what I'm saying? It is like when you meet your people and everyone is your person, it is a homecoming. This is our first conversation. You know what I'm saying? We're not talking about the weather .Who cares.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're not talking about the politics. What's happening Hillary. What are you doing? This is the first </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:20]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> time I've talked, really talked to Danielle and I'm watching our daughters. This is the first time our daughters have met and they are just having an absolute blast together. And it makes me so happy. And it's beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wouldn't have come together without this. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We just needed to break bread. We needed ceremony. If I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:41]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> they say it's just beautiful children do this. So naturally. and I see it with my daughter, wherever we go. She just is so genuine in herself and making friends. And I think we could take some lessons from them because I forget how just to be myself sometimes and just to be open and take the time and not worry about what the next appointment is, what the text text is because we are always binging and I'm looking at my phone while I'm getting coffee.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I am so sorry. I'm not making that genuine connection with somebody who's giving me the coffee. And I think it's hard to live in the moment these days, and it's something I'm fully working on and I, you can see it with children all the time and it's refreshing and eyeopening. So thank you for giving us this opportunity to really sit down and be ourselves,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">be real. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> First of all, thank you for allowing us in your friendship circle. You are so giving it's like when someone is in desperate need of food and water, that is friendship. I think a lot of people, once they do have friendships, they're so guarded and like don't wanna share their friends with others.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Much like if someone is starving and needs a loaf of bread, you're like people don't share bread, they don't break bread. So can I just say, not only are you all the most seriously beautiful people we have met, your friendships are beautiful and your generosity is even more beautiful. And I feel so welcomed and I feel so reassured in the world that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I know, deep down exists. You all are embodying that. And the way that you have welcomed us into this community and welcomed us into your little, not little friendships, but in your grand beautiful, uh, cozy friendship is what I, the kind of word I'm looking for is incredibly generous and beautiful. And I wanna thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there was something else I wanted to say, as far as the kids, cuz we know Elle and Allegra are now like becoming these teenagers. Right. And I wanna say that like for, for example, Elle, Elle's our first born. Um, she was so open. Like she was the ambassador of love. We would go to the local swing pool or like the local, whatever it was and she.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I, and I've talked about this on our podcast before, like for example, this was, this was typical for her two years old, two years old, she would bust open the doors. Cause she's like, bam, bam. She was always very strong. Like with one, one with one arm in diapers, she would move a couch. It was insane. It was like superhero stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But so she. You know, those, those doors in auditoriums that you have to like push down and push open the heavy. She would blast those doors open with her little, little hands, and she would put her arms out to the whole huge swimming pool area. And she would explain to the whole place we're we get to swim today, everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yay. And then only the elderly would, would like start laughing cuz they knew how precious every moment of life is and how our interactions and everything we do, we do is a blessing. It is a blessing to go to the store and pick out any kind of milk you want. Like truly, absolutely. You know, that sense of entitlements that has taken over people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So true. But what go and then going back to kids, what happened is we started to come accross. Kids that were mean that were closed off. And I'm like, you know what? Yes. Kids innately know what it's like, but they very quickly learn from their parents in our current state of society to not be that way. Whether it's stranger danger kind of mentality to you don't have the right shoes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I'm not gonna hang out with you. Even at a very, very young age. And so we started noticing that and then we started noticing our kids closing up, like they were these beautiful flowers that had opened up. And then all of a sudden they like closed up and it's a struggle. It is a struggle, even for us, for them, for us to like be openhearted again, after being hurt so much by mean people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:24]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> can't agree more. And what's so interesting when you come to a point in life, I am approaching a magical number this year, and as all numbers are magical, but this happens to be a milestone. And I know that being a child and having openheartedness, I believe that I had openheartedness throughout and while having that, I was</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">very hurt by many things that many people go through as humans, we're very hurt and we're very resilient, but it's so interesting at this point in my life where I feel childlike, which I've always felt childlike, but it's, my heart is so wide open because I have been hurt. And then I learned how to be my own friend again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. That's where it starts like back to dating. Like we started this whole thing based on the concept of dating Matt and I were like, well, what happened? We used to make friends all the time. And then we, we noticed very quickly in our culture, all of a sudden something shifted where to find a friend was harder than finding your one true love on the planet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, oh my God. It's like dating all over again. Danielle is saying, absolutely, we're all sharing. So you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:52]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> um, I just couldn't agree more. I talk about this so much and Marianne and I talk about this so much about how hard it is to find friends as you get older and like real friendships, not like those surface ones, and have those real conversations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So thank you for having this podcast, because I think it's so critical for so many people. So many of us feel it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and, um, and no one wants to talk about it because we really don't because it, why, oh, this is why, because people think there's something wrong with them. It is it's shameful that they don't have friends, but guaranteed 90% of the people out there don't have a friend that they can turn to for real like arm in arm in person, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">More than 90% we've done the research guys. And, you know, um, going back to the kids thing, Marianne's stepping away for a second. Okay. Are you coming back? Okay. She's coming back. but like the kids, I think one of the other things, like when I started to notice these things, I had people tell me Danielle all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, you'll make friends through your kids. And their friends. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. That is so wrong because my kids, I want them to learn from my example. Absolutely. I'm not gonna wait for them to make friends so I can have friends because of their friends' parents. Mm-hmm no, they need to learn how it is, how you can, everything we mentioned.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do you make a friend? How do you resolve, uh, misunderstandings together? Like they need to see all of that as me as the example, as Matt, as the example, Matt, you've been very quiet. I have. Um, but they need to see that and they need to depend on me for friendship, not the other way around. So that that's another thing I think is wrong with our culture is like we're putting too much responsibility on the children, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:50]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> Yeah. I, I have heard that exact same thing many times. Oh, well, when she starts school, you'll meet all of friends. you know, sports and all of that, but that never made sense to me either. I always had my own friendships. I think it's really important for parents to take their own time, to go on their dates, to make, have their relationships with others.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And somehow it became when all my friends started having kids, all about their kids' friendships, their kids' sports. Um, that's what their life resolved around. And I never wanted my life to be what her life was. I have my own life and that's what she needs to see. And Marianne and I have talked about this a lot as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">A lot of my friends actually don't have kids because they are still doing stuff for themselves and still going out and, you know, doing races or whatever they're doing. Because my friends that have kids and yes, they have several. They don't want to, they don't have time. They don't make time for themselves to do those things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a luxury that they don't afford themselves for whatever reason. And it's expensive. I understand everybody's tired. There's a lot going on, but I think it's really critical to make that time them to see your friendships and you prioritizing yourself. And do you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> see that as a mom, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:11]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> too? Absolutely. Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">My child is so extroverted and I am not, it's taken. Until my mid, mid thirties to really come outta my shell. And I feel like I'm just now learning how to make friends. I've kind of spent my whole life being by myself and it almost kind of took the pandemic to make me realize I need a village. I need friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I need support. And I'm literally honestly like starting over in my mid thirties, trying to. Trying to meet people. And now that I have a child, it's really brought me outta my shell and I, I don't want her to be closed off from people cuz I, I felt like I was always closed off and I want her to see me have friendships.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want her to, to get happy mom and see that I have support and I have friends and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> um, yeah. did you all hear this term that it takes so village beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Yes, that was very beautiful. Hillary. But, um, but going back to that term, like when we had kids, we always heard, oh, it takes a village, you know, depend on the village, I'm like, where's the village, there's no village.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:23]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> There used to be a village. It's unfortunate that it's subsided over time. And I think you have to make your village. I, I know I don't have family around and I've made my own village with my neighbors and close friends, like Marianne and others. It's hard these days to make a village and you do need a village.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what is this? Pandemic has definitely shown out of anything that we need a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> village. And I've been saying this way before the pandemic and everyone thought I was insane. Everyone got what's the word for it? Matt. Like people would get so offended. Right? They get very </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> defensive though. Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Defensive. It's it. It's a weird </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> combo. Yeah. Defensive, because I'm like, Hey, have you notice. That this is happening in our culture or that like, what is the reason that people are? So, you know, this is, this, this will show you how long I've been doing this. Okay. Why is it that sex in the city is such a hit show?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why is it that big bang theory is such a hit show. Why is it that entourage is such a big show. If you look around, no one is going out for brunch. No one is shopping together. No one is meeting on a daily basis. No one has an entourage of friends that they work and hang out. Interesting. What is that? It is right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's interesting that those shows are popular because we're living vicariously through these shows. But in fact, this is what we all want. This is what you know, this is what it's about. Friendship is family. When I make a friend, you guys are my family. I will do anything for you, except I don't like picking you up from the airport that cuz I don't like driving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I always, the police always get me at the air. I don't like it. I. Don't ask me anyways. Anyways. Yeah, that's my, I don't the airport freaks me out. Oh, you guys anyways, but I'll do anything for you. You are my family. Same </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> instantly. I had a thought that might feel like a tangent if I can remember it after I I've been having caffeine I believe that part of this, a giant part of the trend in how things have changed is that we have become very impatient.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because of modern technology and the pace of the world. So we are now so quick with everything. We cannot listen the same. I noticed that early in probably the mid two thousands, I was supervising much younger people. And when I would communicate through text or any other way, There was almost an irritated feeling energy coming back at me because I was probably 15 plus years older and the communication skills have drastically changed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So if you have friends of different ages, most especially younger friends, there's an impatience. And that's when people close themselves off if they feel that they're not being heard and that people don't have the patience to simply hear something through to its finish. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. You know, and this, now that now sparks me on another tangent that I always talk about that Danielle also brought up what I wanted to say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is a whole thing going on with ageism. There's a whole thing going on with. There's so many factors involved. Like, why are we all so busy? Why is our attention scattered? Is it technology like, you know, um, Matt is in that field of that technology, but I, we, you agree with me, Matt, that it's really not technology.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think there's a greater thing happening where it, it makes the masses, behave a certain way because we become more sheepish. There's a, there's like, it's like not to sound like a crazy conspiracy person, but it's like, it's a force that has divided as. So that we don't get together because when we're together, we're stronger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If I'm standing next to you, Marianne, arm in arm, I'm more apt to say that's not right. If I see something that's a MIS an injustice out there, I can be more verbal and go, what are you doing? That's not okay. Do you know what I'm saying? But if I'm by myself, I'm afraid to say something. I mean, I think I'll just be honest.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think. Most people, most people would feel that way. So I think that's happening. And also because as Americans, we are such hard workers. We are always working and we don't have the healthcare that's, that's set up in our society. So not only are we working so hard, but if we have to go to the doctor that will knock us out, I'm sorry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's expensive. And like, you can't afford to get sick. You can't afford to take time off you. We don't have vacations unless you have a very special job. Nobody, nobody has vacations. And if you are long enough in a job, maybe after a few years, you get two weeks pay, but hello, we need three months. People have whole seasons where everybody's off and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Come together and play together and, and relax and cook together and eat together and like see each other. But if we're constantly busy and we're constant, I, I don't blame technology. I think there's a greater force out there beyond the technology. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> I totally see your point. And I also think that we don't necessarily, of course we do require more vacation time, but I think in a self care way, we should be</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">balancing our days in terms of having boundaries, where we say, this is when I work. This is when I spend time with my family. This is when I spend time for me. This is when I spend time for my village and figure that out on a daily basis so that it doesn't come to a point where you feel very desperate, that you need to take a solid </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">six months off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. But if it was set aside for us to do in our society, it would be, we would be so much healthier. And you know what? Matt says that all the time, Matt, why are you quiet? And then when we there's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> so many people talking, I, I just feel like I'm gonna tangentially throw us in different </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> directions. Well, Matt always talks about how I'm, I'm totally interrupting you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Go ahead. But I wanted to, but now I'm totally interrupting you. I wanted you to talk about how you definitely tell work that look, I'm not going to be reachable, but the thing is most people, even when they go on vacation, their job demands that they're still connected. So you can't, you can't take a break.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, things and they're very, very small things like, I don't put the instant messenger on my phone. I definitely disconnect at times. I'm also a big fan, paying myself first, as they like to say, when you're bud, when you're doing your budgeting, when you pay yourself first and then you pay your taxes and I pay myself emotionally first, and I do that first in the day, I literally get up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I get up, got awful early and I, I have two hours. I have a two hour block in the morning. That's just for me. And then I start my day and my day starts with not work. My day starts. Things that I'm learning. And then I have breakfast and then I start my, and then I start my Workday and I ceremonially put away my computer at the end of every day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So it's done. So guys, there's so much to talk about and we have to wrap it up because we all have to go, but we're gonna continue this conversation. You know what we should do? We should do a whole town podcast. And really get into the art of community and village. Maybe we should call it something like the village or something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know. But there's so much to talk about. And you guys, again, to reiterate, this is our first conversation together, and look at, look at everything that we've hit on. Do you know what I'm saying? And this is the beauty. This is the art of friendship. This is the art of the start we're starting in real life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Look at us. We're out here in a coffee shop. And here we go. And Hillary or no, someone needs the mic. It's Maryanne. Nope, Hillary, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:56]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> One thing that I was thinking about, I had to tend to my child, but when we were talking about, TV shows, I, I feel like we were like self-conscious or something to talk to other people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I, I feel like in TV shows, you can just walk into somebody's house and talk and hang out. And I feel like we're. Self-conscious about what our home looks like. We're we don't wanna invite anybody in. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. Great point, Hillary, can we talk about that next? Yes. What's the deal with that? Yes. Anyway, we're gonna wrap it up, but we're gonna continue.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Continue. Yes. And I just wanted to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:28]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Danielle:</strong></span> say thank you so much for bringing us all together. I feel like this has brought us all closer and I appreciate it. Nice to be with you guys today. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> tune in. We're gonna do it again. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Marianne:</strong></span> Can I just have one final thought that I know that we went on lots and lots of tangents because our brains are very active.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I feel like it's the tapestry of communication and the art of true communication where this happens. And then we are able to go out into the world and continue this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> beautifully said, beautifully, said. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:02]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Hillary:</strong></span> This was a great opportunity. Thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, we'll talk to you guys next time. Tune in and see, we'll see how this unfolds like a beautiful flower.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember, the earth is a small town and everyone's your friend and be a good host and reach out to us. If you wanna be on our show, reach out to us, go to our friendly world podcast.com and we'll see you next week. You guys. Bye. Be well.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This is our very first episode in a public place with in-person live conversations at the local coffee shop!!!!!!!!!!!! Wanting to lead by example, Fawn and Matt share their meet-cute moment on their friendships with Marianne, Danielle, and Hillary. This conversation is all about how to notice the magic, being brave enough to see people, say "Hello" and go further by sparking conversation, creating friendship, and continuing friendship when you come to points of disagreement, learning from those disagreements, and developing the art of a strong friendship.   Fawn, Matt, Marianne, Danielle, and Hillary share how they all met and prove how the world is a small town and you are surrounded by friendship.
 
To reach out to us, please go to:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
The Earth Is A Small Town
[00:00:00] Fawn: The earth is a small town and everybody's your friend. And I dare say, even now with everything that's going around in the world, Uhhuh what's, what's going on in the world. It is still as true as ever that the earth is a small town.
And everybody's your friend. Seriously. 
[00:00:20] Matt: Yeah, but what's this racket and I keep hearing around us. 
[00:00:23] Fawn: Okay. Hi everybody. We are back. This is our first time out in the wild unmasked, even and we are out, we are at a coffee shop in the most, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. We moved Matt and I moved here we are.
And this is what happens. The show is more about the art of the start and throughout the last two and a half years, talking to you all, I kind of deep down felt like a hypocrite, talking about friendship and going out there and creating bonds and meeting friends and developing and nurturing friendships
when we were sitting all by our lone sums in our kitchen, talking about it. Hey, so here we are. And we're gonna tell you how we did. So here's what happened. It was the power of a coupon. Matt had a coupon for a coffee shop. I had 
[00:01:21] Matt: a, how many years I had a gift card, two 
[00:01:23] Fawn: years, two years. You had a coupon for coffee two years.
It was in his wallet. 
[00:01:30] Matt: So just as the pandemic broke, and one of the things that convinced us that this pandemic might not be a joke was I was gonna go meet with Amazon in Colorado. And I was gonna go to their offices and they were gonna do their spiel and give us free food and whatever. Right. I was just gonna go check it out....]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:50:39</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How You End Is How You Begin]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Sep 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/how-you-end-is-how-you-begin</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-you-end-is-how-you-begin</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Why it's so important to end things on a proper note so that you can have a great new beginning; from friendships to jobs, to moving to a new place.</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>How You End is How You Begin</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi. Oh, so bears trucks, neighbors, wire transfers, bears documents. It has been </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> nuts. What a long, strange </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">trip it's been</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This talk today is inspired by one of our friends. Who reminded us a couple years ago, really like to really think about it. Something we've always thought about. Like, I, I never, for this very reason, I'm just about to explain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I never, did the normal thing for like new year's Eve and stuff like that because how you end is how you begin. So I never, I. Well, sometimes I did but like sometimes I did, but like I never cursed the year before and said nuts to you, 2020 yay. For 2020, you know, 20, 21 or whatever the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know? Yeah. Yeah. Why do you blasting the old while praising this completely unknown new? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Heather who was on our show a while, while back. Heather the advisor, she brought up this phrase of how you end is how you begin. So how you begin is connected directly linked to how you ended something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So folks, we finally did it.. We moved, we moved, we moved far away to another part of the planet. And we made sure ceremonial in all ways that we definitely ended things on a note that was. Clear. How would you say it? Mind you we're both still exhausted. We're still deep in the thick of a move and I think last night was the first time we slept in, in a real bed, in a real bed</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">in over a month and a half. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no. </span></span></p>
<p><span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Why it's so important to end things on a proper note so that you can have a great new beginning; from friendships to jobs, to moving to a new place.
How You End is How You Begin
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello? 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello? 
[00:00:02] Fawn: Hi. Oh, so bears trucks, neighbors, wire transfers, bears documents. It has been 
[00:00:12] Matt: nuts. What a long, strange 
trip it's been
[00:00:15] Fawn: This talk today is inspired by one of our friends. Who reminded us a couple years ago, really like to really think about it. Something we've always thought about. Like, I, I never, for this very reason, I'm just about to explain.
I never, did the normal thing for like new year's Eve and stuff like that because how you end is how you begin. So I never, I. Well, sometimes I did but like sometimes I did, but like I never cursed the year before and said nuts to you, 2020 yay. For 2020, you know, 20, 21 or whatever the 
[00:00:56] Matt: right.
You know? Yeah. Yeah. Why do you blasting the old while praising this completely unknown new? 
[00:01:02] Fawn: So Heather who was on our show a while, while back. Heather the advisor, she brought up this phrase of how you end is how you begin. So how you begin is connected directly linked to how you ended something.
So folks, we finally did it.. We moved, we moved, we moved far away to another part of the planet. And we made sure ceremonial in all ways that we definitely ended things on a note that was. Clear. How would you say it? Mind you we're both still exhausted. We're still deep in the thick of a move and I think last night was the first time we slept in, in a real bed, in a real bed
in over a month and a half. 
[00:01:56] Matt: No. 
[00:01:57] Fawn: Yes, 
[00:01:57] Matt: no. 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[How You End Is How You Begin]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Why it's so important to end things on a proper note so that you can have a great new beginning; from friendships to jobs, to moving to a new place.</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>How You End is How You Begin</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi. Oh, so bears trucks, neighbors, wire transfers, bears documents. It has been </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> nuts. What a long, strange </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">trip it's been</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This talk today is inspired by one of our friends. Who reminded us a couple years ago, really like to really think about it. Something we've always thought about. Like, I, I never, for this very reason, I'm just about to explain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I never, did the normal thing for like new year's Eve and stuff like that because how you end is how you begin. So I never, I. Well, sometimes I did but like sometimes I did, but like I never cursed the year before and said nuts to you, 2020 yay. For 2020, you know, 20, 21 or whatever the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know? Yeah. Yeah. Why do you blasting the old while praising this completely unknown new? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Heather who was on our show a while, while back. Heather the advisor, she brought up this phrase of how you end is how you begin. So how you begin is connected directly linked to how you ended something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So folks, we finally did it.. We moved, we moved, we moved far away to another part of the planet. And we made sure ceremonial in all ways that we definitely ended things on a note that was. Clear. How would you say it? Mind you we're both still exhausted. We're still deep in the thick of a move and I think last night was the first time we slept in, in a real bed, in a real bed</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">in over a month and a half. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> First of all, we've already been here for two weeks. Yeah, but we slept and you thought we were here last week. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We slept in a real bed two weeks plus one day ago. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Briefly at a hotel. Yeah. See, no, it was still uncomfortable. I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it was still uncomfortable. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was like for a, what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Two nights? Two nights. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Two luxurious nights. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm. Not so luxurious because stuff was happening, but it has been nuts you guys, and we, so we moved, but we made sure that there was reverence and a sense of respect as much as possible. To the place that we were leaving to the situation that we were leaving to the place, the physical place, the people around us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's interesting because once you start that thing, it's kind of not kind of, but it is a ceremonial thing where things that you don't even think about things, that you don't even try to compose end up kind of being composed in the same manner. Like we were very conscious about making sure that we said thank you to everyone and everything around us in the place we were at; the place we were leaving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Right. And then things happened in that same kind of manner without us orchestrating it. For example, our friend Holly pretty much drove not she didn't drive. Well, she drove some distance, but she flew I'm I'm still so nuts from moving. I, I can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> barely speak. Yeah. We're in a different time zone and that's really kind of screwed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> us up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not the time zone. It's like a whole, just my whole body is aching. I'm in so much pain guys,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So Holly flew all the way out to where we were, so we could all have a nice dinner together. Like went out of her way, spent all this money to just be with us the last night so that we would feel happier and we would feel safer, you know, just, we would, we would feel better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We would have some fun. And we were not in the mood to have fun. We were exhausted already and she forced me to go out. So we went out for drinks, just the two of us, just us girls and this while, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> while I stayed home and I made dinner, you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> did you ordered dinner? I I'm sorry. I ordered dinner. That's right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We had no dishes for like two months. So we started camping out in a bare apartment two months before we left. We had nothing. Everything was gone. It was not two </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> months before. Oh, it was okay. You could split the hairs and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> say, yes, I think you're starting to wipe it clean. Like you don't remember all this stuff on purpose, but it was two months.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like everything was, we had pots </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and pans until like the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">last week.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, we didn't. No, we didn't. I packed everything away. Must you argue with me? I'm trying to tell a story. . We packed EV I packed everything away. so we only had the camping gear. We had one tiny little crockpot that I ordered that cooks everything really fast and burns everything immediately.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we had these, plastic utensil that is a spoon, a fork, and a knife at the same time. Remember. Yeah, that's what we had. And that was it we had the pot and we had these paper bowls that we would reuse over and over again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember, okay. Please tell the story. Oh, now you want me to tell the story? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, now that I'm wrong, I want you to tell the story. Come on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Now I forgot what I was saying. Thanks. Oh, so Holly and I went out for drinks. While we were there, we ran into one of the yoga bitches and a friend by the way of hers</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">now that was friends because I got them together. So we went there. I was promptly. She was just staring at me and then Holly's like, what's the matter? I'm like, I'll tell you later. But I was thinking, wow, this is a perfect opportunity to even in my, my mind to release it, even though we had done it before, remember we kind of ran into her before, like a few weeks before that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And we, as a family, we said, thank you for all the experiences that this person brought to us, even though it brought us a lot of pain mm-hmm . Um, but anyway, it was weird because the other friend was now like the person who is part, I don't know if he's part owner, whatever it is of this establishment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was like, Holly. I just wanna leave, like, forget it. I don't wanna get drinks here. She's like, no, we're getting our drinks. No. So anyway, she tricked me into it cause she's like, well, let's just go sit outside. I'm like, fine. Let's just go sit outside. And she ended up ordering drinks, like our favorite drinks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we sat there and we had a really nice time said goodbye to the mountains, the continental divide. So it was, you know what I'm saying? It, it even things that I didn't plan for mm-hmm, pretty much came together as a way for me to acknowledge and close, like have closure. Right, right. Anyway, so that happened what I'm trying to say is when you go with that sense of mind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Things that you don't plan for also fall into place. Like everything falls into place pretty much. And I'm not saying that everything will be easy, cuz oh my God, things have been wild. Have they not literally wild guys, we have run into not run into, but we've come across so much wildlife. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You mean </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like the cute little squirrels and the cute little Cardinals and the little, the chipmunks, the what do they call it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The little, the baby chipmunks chip bets. No. What heck were they calling them? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They call them something else besides chipmunk. Yes. Whatever this is getting boring. What we're trying to say was every day has been in. I don't know what the word is. I don't wanna say insane. It's been, it's been, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's been an adventure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Holy moly. It seemed like at some point everything was going wrong. As in things were just not, first of all, they, everything started off smooth. Everything was great. We were tired, but everything was pretty much working smoothly and everything was done with intention. Then we got even more tired and even more like just exhausted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Then things started to slow down and things weren't fitting into the puzzle that we thought perfectly like the car was supposed to show up. It was shipped, it was shipped thousands of miles and it was supposed to meet us at a certain day. It was like three, four days. And every day they were like, okay, today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then all day we waited and maneuvered all these appointments all around this delivery that was supposed to happen. It didn't happen for four days anyway. So we finally get to where we are and I get this call and the driver of this massive vehicle that carries 20 cars with it at the same time, he's like, Hey, I'm near you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm down the street. I can't get any closer. I'm having a problem. So we run. we go in the street and that's when we meet all of our new neighbors or a lot of them. Right. A lot of them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, they were all out because it's, it's a spectacle because there's a big truck in the neighborhood, but anyways, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but I think it's a different culture where we moved to, because definitely people</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">react differently to things mm-hmm, , people are very different in their communication </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> very much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also we've heard people are very standoffish and are not kind here, but honestly, we've experienced the opposite. Everyone has been very kind and it's been quite wonderful how we've found a way to make friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">People are very into starting new friendships here. Right. You hear about. Wherever you go. I don't wanna say exactly where it is because I don't wanna condemn a place, but you always hear how like we did with Seattle. Remember we told you guys about the Seattle freeze, Seattle freeze.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ooh. The Seattle freezes because people give you the cold shoulder. That's where the term comes from. So we don't wanna condemn any place to say, oh, this is what the people are known for, because it's really not true. So it's, it's how you go into it. You know, you can change things. You can create a whole different ripple wherever you step, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. I forgot what were we saying? Oh, okay. So everybody was out all, a lot of the neighbors were out and there was all this commotion. One of the neighbors came up to me. I was standing next to this truck that was on. So this massive engine, it was really loud. So one of our neighbors is talking to me very emphatically.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He's weaving his hands and he's being very kind and all, I can hear every other word of what he's saying. I heard "they mean, you know, harm", </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> which is good. It's good that the truck driver means, you know, harm and he is trying to keep you calm. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's very nice,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but it wasn't the truck driver. It was a neighbor.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was Steve. Yes. Steve was talking to me, but what I'm saying is I was standing near the truck. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. No, no, no. And I get it, but that's that, that that's what you assumed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he was going through, right? No, because as he was saying, they mean you no harm. He was kind of motioning towards this one house on the corner.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So immediately where my mind went was, oh my God, are these people racists? Is he pointing to a neighbor? And telling me, don't worry. They mean you no harm. So immediately my mind goes to, oh my God, what kind of organization is this neighbor involved in? Right. Where you have to tell me, they mean me, no harm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I was just standing there looking at him kind of in shock. Like, why are you telling me this right now? And then he kept repeating it and pointing. I'm like, okay. And then I heard the word bear, and then I said, oh, and I thought, okay. They must have some weird, pets. So I said, they have a bear as a pet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like yelling and he's yelling and he is pointing. And, he's like, "No, they mean, you no harm!" I'm like they have a pet bear? He's like, no, and he's pointing emphatically now. Right. He motions for me to turn around and I turn around and there's a black bear behind me. meanwhile, the truck driver is there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All the neighbors are there. Well, a lot of them and now there's this big black bear. That's just like walking and in the middle of this. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> he's. 25 30 yards away. It's not like he's like breathing down your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> neck or anything. I'm sorry. It was closer than that. You are not near me. When, when, when this happened, you came later after I started yelling that would </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> be me folks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What do you mean? That would be you that's. You're like, you're not, you always think things are like copacetic, but like I'm in, in, in something by myself, like trying to figure things out and I'm in some absurd situation and you're like, oh, it was no big deal. I'm telling you the bear was, it was right there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was right by the truck I was in front of the truck and this bear went right. Like he, he, he was closer than 25 yards. He was like, I don't know. He was just like a quarter of a block away. Not even that he was behind the truck. Basically. He just, he just strolls by like, hello, just walks into a Bush. And I'm standing there and, and now the truck drivers are all freaked out as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they're all from Colorado. So I'm like, you guys must be used to this and they're like, no, we've never seen this in our lives. Like they're from Colorado. So, and then the neighbors were like, you must be used to this. You're from Colorado. And I said, no, I've never, I've never, no, never . And like the closest</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we came to a bear thing was when we first moved to Boulder, it was all over the news that they've, there was a bear and they tranquilized it and it was all over. If you, if you Google like Boulder it'll show up, like how they tranquilized this bear. and then, escorted it out to deep in the mountain somewhere again, but they don't do that where we are, everybody lives together peacefully.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so Steve was like, they mean, you no harm. I'm like, oh, that's what I think I started to use exp explicit. How do you expletives expletives? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear. Oh my, what are you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">doing here?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was like, holy. Sh like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Shitake?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I got scared because the bear was headed to where Elle and Allegra were; headed towards our backyard and the girls were just walking around.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And what was funny was not so funny as a mom, but Allegra had just said, mom, can I just go walking around the neighborhood by myself? And I had just told her, yeah, that sounds great, but let's make sure we know where everything is first mm-hmm , you know, because we can get lost. Um, cuz she wanted to go in the woods and I'm like, oh, okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. But then that's when I started yelling for Elle and Allegra and I didn't know if I should yell for them to come to me or run in the house. I don't know. I was, I was just like, I don't know what to do cuz that bear was headed towards them. That's when you come strolling along, by the way. Well, I see the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> guys and they're like taking pictures of it on their phones and it's like, it's at that point, it's 50 yards away and I'm just like, oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hey, it's a bear, Matt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This bear walked, like from where Steve and I was, and then he headed that way. So by the time you saw him, he was that far away. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. And they were, everything was totally </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">mellow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nope. Are you serious? You think it was mellow?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> At that point? When I showed up you, the bear was headed to the backyard, to our backyard and the ki I don't do you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You make me nuts, man. but anyway, what does this have to do with our show topic today? And this has gone, gone on for way too long. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I mean, the trials of the trials and tribulations of beginning, something of moving forward, or just creating something in your life, it's not always going to be easy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It may seem like it'll be okay, especially when you put forth good intentions and the right mindset, but the world is wild. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, it is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's an adventure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And things can happen that can cause you to lose your mind, which I, I'm not gonna lie. I've been crying every day. There has been so much stress.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But at the same time, it's a beginning. It's a, it's a brand new way. But going back to how you end is how you begin is important because when you leave something with a sense of anger or a sense of just like hate, I guess that will show up in the next phase of where you're going to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">if you're leaving a job and you leave without proper closure, mm-hmm if you leave that situation with a charge, a charge, meaning something that if you think about changes your body chemistry and is not a happy feeling, it's kind of , a karma situation because you end up reliving a certain situation</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's very similar to what you left until you have total closure and you no longer have a charge. So you keep reliving that charge until there's no charge anymore. Make sure that you erase the charge. You erase the charge by completely feeling the situation by feeling where you're at.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this goes with friendships. Make sure that you have no charge on anyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why are you staring at me like that? Why don't you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> just, I'm just, I'm just smirking because for those of us who don't know. Yeah. I've been through God since the beginning of this pandemic I've been been through. I don't know how many job changes. I just started another job in, uh, yeah, July. And yeah, all that stuff happens every single time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like moving on some level, even though I'm working remotely, remotely, remotely, remotely, there's always different personalities, different, different, different, you know, even, even in the simplest move or the simplest job change, it's a matter of, figuring out where if you were in the office, the coffee room is or whatever, and that's in the basic sense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but I find it, the thing I, thing that was most interesting about this job is before I started before day one passed, I took time and I sent thanks to people who had helped me along the way. And I think that that really set me up for, for success because my mind was calm. You know, it calmed me down. And even if, you were only to think about things selfishly like that, it's about</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">decluttering your, your mind, your soul, your psyche, your whatever. Yeah. You know, and, and start, and, and starting with as clean of a slate as you can manage. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? Not just not having </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a charge and open to adventure. Well, as clean of a slate, as you can manage is the problem. Right? Because, you know, there are some deep seated stuff that maybe you can't shake off, but you should really try, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> even if you can't shake it off, if you ask for it to be</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">cleared it somehow will be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, and that, I guess it's called </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">prayer</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> . Right. And, and sometimes for help, it can just be cleared by a random encounter with random person cuz right. You know, back in the day when, I was a teen I had one or three interesting, encounters with people that, told me that, Hey, things are gonna be okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Which is what I really needed at that point. So, you know, it's one of those cases where when the student is ready, the master appears, or you learn the lessons you need to learn, or all these other wonderful pithy sayings that, that start emerging. But I think it's true if you are open </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That leads us to then new beginnings.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do you begin a friendship? How do you continue that friendship? It's a little dance and it's, it's quite interesting because I find that we've reached a point in our culture where people, even if, they don't admit that they are lonely, they are totally up for connections. They're very up for doing something together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And connecting. And so for example, we met , a new friend. Every time we go out, we've met amazing people. And I have just said, I I'm treating it like how we started this whole thing years ago where we said, oh my God, it's like dating all over again. But just to find a friend I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go back to the dating thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we go to a coffee shop or we go to a pretty area in town. It's kind of like when you're in that bar and you have that eye contact with someone from across the room, it's the same thing with friends. You have that eye contact, you know, there's so many people around you, but you spot someone you're both staring at each other and then you move closer together and you can, you can choose to say something or not say something, even if you nod.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you walk away. That's not enough. Come on. Say hi, and then saying hi is not enough. So I just, I've just been taking it as far as I can take it. Yes, you have. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You have been on fire darling. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, because I'm just, you know, I'm like, you know, come on. First of all, I'm so proud of us for getting out. Yeah. We, we thought we would never, ever go out again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I thought we would be one of the people that come out of the depression era, you know, the people that went through the dust bowl era where like the. The next generations can't figure out why you hoard packets of sugar. You know, why, why are you holding onto these things? Why are you so obsessed with cleansing your hands?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm-hmm you know, previous generations that were raised in the 1920s, people don't understand why they have certain habits or certain idiosyncrasies. but you really have to be in their shoes to understand, oh my God, this is why they do what they're doing. It's a sense of comfort for them because they experienced some sort of trauma.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? So our trauma was, we were already germophobe because basically giving birth to our first daughter. We almost died because of carelessness at the hospital, right. Because of germs because of a virus. And so we were extreme germaphobes after that, but then here comes the pandemics a, a few years later and we're like, oh my, we, we never thought we would ever go out again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You guys. And if we did, we thought we would be in hazmat suits basically forever. And so here we are, and we're not doing that. We're just like, we, we were kind of forced into being out there, swimming in the waters. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, I mean, We ended up flying to where we are. So welcome to this wide, the wide world of being around people constantly swim </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> swimming in the waters.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, we were, we, yeah, we were flying, but the plane was so small. It was packed. And have they have that? Have I gotten bigger? Do you think Matt, or have the seats gotten smaller? Because I don't remember both my shoulders, like totally like squished be between other people that I don't know. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've always been there. So I couldn't, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so I've gotten bigger. No, I don't think so. have I gained weight? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Did look the airline we flew on. Yes. The seats did feel smaller than I'm I'm used </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to, but I, I think things have changed. I think it's been a while since we, we used to be major. I used to jet set all the time, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> not me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, wow. I. And nobody was masking. Anyway, I digress what was I saying? So what I do now is beyond I go beyond the hello, I go beyond the, where are you from? You know, whatever talking about the day, whatever I'm like, what's your phone number? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hayoooo </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so no, we, we exchange numbers </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and then past that, now my next step is actually.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, oh, I, I, then we texted each other after that to say, I'm so glad I met you, you know? And it was reciprocate reciprocated. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it's impossible not to reciprocate somebody paying you a compliment, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but people used to, right. People used to just like, ignore that stuff, but I'm now I'm like going to keep producing more steps, like hello, like today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it will be a week since we met Marianne mm-hmm , I'm definitely reaching out to Marianne saying, Hey, happy one week meeting anniversary one week versity and let's meet again. Let's you know? Right. But that's it like go beyond the hello, go beyond the little small talk that starts something off. Go beyond that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just be brave. And, and say, ask, if you wanna hang out, ask, ask the person what they like. Ask the person, what their story is. People wanna talk about their stories. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Everybody has at least one really great story to tell. And you, you can tease that out of anybody, cuz everybody loves to tell that story, whatever that silly story </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the thing is that everybody is going through something at all times and they may not be saying it. They may not be verbalizing it. They may not be showing it, but everybody's going through something all the time and they need to talk to someone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yes, man is the man is one of the social animals </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and I'm not saying something bad.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just saying they could have just been like, okay, so we met, we met this new friend. I did, uh, we were walking and it was this pretty area of town. When I saw her, it was that whole thing again, like from far away we noticed each other. Right. And we walked, I walked closer and we ended up talking and I'm like, what were you doing?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It looked like you were part of a movie scene, like a scene from a movie. You look like you were performing some sort of ceremony and the wind was hitting your hair just right. And you're wearing this beautiful. Flowy gown. Like, wow, what's what was going on. She's like I was doing a TikTok video </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hayooo,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but she was noticing how beautiful everything was and I could see it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was like, it was amazing. But you know, we ended up talking about that and that led to the next point of conversation and the next, and then we started asking questions and then we exchanged phone numbers. And we definitely told each other things that we know about our own selves and shared that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's it. That's how you begin. And if you've not ended something properly, it's easy to do. All you do is be thankful for that experience. And that begins your clear slate. That begins closure and that frees you to beginning something new. And I'm gonna leave it with that for today, but how do you pronounce the name again?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">G O E T H e</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">GTA </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">GOETHE (gerta) with that, I will, we will leave you off with Goethe quote: "For five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful. No matter what is happening around you for five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Think of something beautiful and begin the next minute. That was my little. thank you for listening guys. We probably sound crazy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We are a little </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">crazy right now, little sleep deprived. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, I, I just took a class with an agent for voiceovers. She said that she listens to obviously thousands and thousands of voices every week.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm-hmm . And she can tell if someone's depressed or if someone has done something new in their voice. God knows what we sound like right now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, I'm always doing new </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stuff. Oh, anyway. Thank you for listening. Love you. Here we go, guys. We wanna venture off. Please email us, let us know your thoughts. We're venturing off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're thinking of taking our little podcast studio outside in the wild. Maybe we'll interview some bears. It could be, or maybe we'll end up in our favorite coffee. And start talking to people we just meet and you can see it live, you know, hear it live anyway. Love you so much. Talk to you soon. Be well, bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Why it's so important to end things on a proper note so that you can have a great new beginning; from friendships to jobs, to moving to a new place.
How You End is How You Begin
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello? 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello? 
[00:00:02] Fawn: Hi. Oh, so bears trucks, neighbors, wire transfers, bears documents. It has been 
[00:00:12] Matt: nuts. What a long, strange 
trip it's been
[00:00:15] Fawn: This talk today is inspired by one of our friends. Who reminded us a couple years ago, really like to really think about it. Something we've always thought about. Like, I, I never, for this very reason, I'm just about to explain.
I never, did the normal thing for like new year's Eve and stuff like that because how you end is how you begin. So I never, I. Well, sometimes I did but like sometimes I did, but like I never cursed the year before and said nuts to you, 2020 yay. For 2020, you know, 20, 21 or whatever the 
[00:00:56] Matt: right.
You know? Yeah. Yeah. Why do you blasting the old while praising this completely unknown new? 
[00:01:02] Fawn: So Heather who was on our show a while, while back. Heather the advisor, she brought up this phrase of how you end is how you begin. So how you begin is connected directly linked to how you ended something.
So folks, we finally did it.. We moved, we moved, we moved far away to another part of the planet. And we made sure ceremonial in all ways that we definitely ended things on a note that was. Clear. How would you say it? Mind you we're both still exhausted. We're still deep in the thick of a move and I think last night was the first time we slept in, in a real bed, in a real bed
in over a month and a half. 
[00:01:56] Matt: No. 
[00:01:57] Fawn: Yes, 
[00:01:57] Matt: no. 
]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:37</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Party Pooper and the Expert]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Sep 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-party-pooper-and-the-expert</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-party-pooper-and-the-expert</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>A toast: "Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell."</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when we talk about people we don't like and we compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.<br /><br />What's a good word to describe people who just get you down, the ones who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. This episode is dedicated to our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walk their walk, and are in some ways, accosted by people who totally try to throw you off.  Sometimes it comes in the form of random chatter and if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up. This is a fix for all that stuff.<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Party Poopers</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> morning. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello to the world. Hello, our beautiful friends. Don't let the turkeys get you down. Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when you talk about people and you compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What's a good word to describe people who just get you down. Who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. I'm and I'm talking to all of our goodhearted people, right? I'm talking about our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walking their walk, and you're in some ways, accosted by people</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">who totally try to, throw you off. I don't know if it's intentional. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not, sometimes it's just the way they are. And if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Call 'em party poopers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh yeah. Party </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> poopers. Every party has a pooper. That's why we invited you party pooper. Oh my God. Okay. Oh, oh, wait. That was a song. Oh. Oh, hope we don't get in trouble for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that. Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So for example, I'm a yoga teacher, but there's so many people now telling you how to breathe. </span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[A toast: "Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell."
Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when we talk about people we don't like and we compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.What's a good word to describe people who just get you down, the ones who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. This episode is dedicated to our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walk their walk, and are in some ways, accosted by people who totally try to throw you off.  Sometimes it comes in the form of random chatter and if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up. This is a fix for all that stuff.
Party Poopers
Good 
[00:00:01] Fawn: morning. 
[00:00:02] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:02] Fawn: Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello to the world. Hello, our beautiful friends. Don't let the turkeys get you down. Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when you talk about people and you compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.
What's a good word to describe people who just get you down. Who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. I'm and I'm talking to all of our goodhearted people, right? I'm talking about our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walking their walk, and you're in some ways, accosted by people
who totally try to, throw you off. I don't know if it's intentional. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not, sometimes it's just the way they are. And if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up.
[00:01:04] Matt: Call 'em party poopers.
[00:01:06] Fawn: Oh yeah. Party 
[00:01:07] Matt: poopers. Every party has a pooper. That's why we invited you party pooper. Oh my God. Okay. Oh, oh, wait. That was a song. Oh. Oh, hope we don't get in trouble for 
that. Oh, 
[00:01:15] Fawn: So for example, I'm a yoga teacher, but there's so many people now telling you how to breathe. ]]>
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                    <![CDATA[The Party Pooper and the Expert]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>A toast: "Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell."</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when we talk about people we don't like and we compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.<br /><br />What's a good word to describe people who just get you down, the ones who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. This episode is dedicated to our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walk their walk, and are in some ways, accosted by people who totally try to throw you off.  Sometimes it comes in the form of random chatter and if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up. This is a fix for all that stuff.<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Party Poopers</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> morning. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello to the world. Hello, our beautiful friends. Don't let the turkeys get you down. Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when you talk about people and you compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What's a good word to describe people who just get you down. Who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. I'm and I'm talking to all of our goodhearted people, right? I'm talking about our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walking their walk, and you're in some ways, accosted by people</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">who totally try to, throw you off. I don't know if it's intentional. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not, sometimes it's just the way they are. And if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Call 'em party poopers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh yeah. Party </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> poopers. Every party has a pooper. That's why we invited you party pooper. Oh my God. Okay. Oh, oh, wait. That was a song. Oh. Oh, hope we don't get in trouble for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that. Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So for example, I'm a yoga teacher, but there's so many people now telling you how to breathe. </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So like case and point breathing. I was, um, I. I I found myself, well, let me, let me give you the list that just went through my head.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are people who are telling you how to breathe. There are people who are telling you how to communicate. There are people who are telling you how to even pray, and I'm not a particular religion here, so don't get thrown off by that. But that's another thing that's happened. Like if you use the G word God or whatever now you're, you know, spirit, whatever, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It messes people up. This is why I'm gonna explain to you why and why you shouldn't let that mess you up because it can actually help you. But like I've experienced it in photography. I have experienced it in baking, cooking, raising kids. There are all these party poopers who are telling you, you're doing it wrong that you need to do it in this particular sequence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Otherwise it doesn't work case in point, there are all these like quote unquote visualization experts. Give me a break, like telling you, oh, well you have to do it this way. You have to do step 1, 2, 3 before. Otherwise you'll never get what you want. This is why your life is not working out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just it's just all too much garbage guys. So this morning I was trying to calm down and I'm like, let me breathe. I'm not even breathing. And then I thought of all the voices, even me, like all the things I've read and all the voices now that are saying, oh, you need to do box breathing. You need to do this kind of breathing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You need to hold it for this many seconds. And like all these like, oh, and you have to breathe in from your feet and breathe in from the top of your head and let it go through, you know what I mean? It is just too much guys. So. I just decided cuz all that was in my head just right to take one breath mm-hmm because I was stressing out and I was laying, lying down in bed, just stressing out mm-hmm and so I said, you know what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just gonna breathe ugly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm just going to breathe ugly. Okay. Which </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> means I'm just going to let my belly get as big and fat as possible. You know like as women, especially like you don't wanna breathe because you don't wanna stick your belly out. You always wanna look thin, and that really gets in the way of your health.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So breathe like no one's watching, you know, like dance, like no one's watching mm-hmm like, I just decided to take a deep breath and let the belly just like expand in always, right. Like a Jabba the Hutt kind of expansion. And I immediately felt better. cause I, I naturally breathe that again. Like my body just did it for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's amazing how that one breath made me feel better. I didn't follow the rules. I just did what was natural. I just stopped listening. Right. But there are people out there, like, even from photography. I remember there were a few years even to this day, actually that I was, um, I went through major schooling for photography.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Then I went to schooling again, cause I'm always trying to learn more. Right? And then you get people, professors, teachers who don't want some people don't want you to succeed. Some people just want to show their expertise and show that they know best that you know nothing. If you pay attention too much to that as a goodhearted person, as a person, that's already doing your thing, you're doing well. If you pay too much attention to this, it can really throw you off your game. So for photography, for instance, I got so caught up in the, the, is it called minutia? The, just the technical sh it's it's not necessary once you have it down. Once you understand the technical, why make things complicated?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just do your thing. Even if it's not the technical technical side, then it's the aesthetics, right. You know, what are you trying to convey? And like, how are you composing it? And like all these rules for art, the only rules should be your heart and your emotions. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, I'm not sure if I a hundred percent agree with where you're at, because we have a problem</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think, as a society that we wanna quickly leap from Kind of apprenticeship to mastery. So that's not what I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> talking about. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I just wanna, I'm not just wanna make sure we emphasize this point because I always tell people, you know, learn the rules, then break them. But. Learn the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">rules first, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt, that's not what I'm saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm saying when you are already on your path, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> when you're already on your path, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You've already studied and you keep studying. There are people who come in and say, you're doing it wrong, right? Because they just wanna show their. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Expertise. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there you go. And I completely agree. It's just, I wanna make sure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I, I, I heard you say it. I did. I just wanted to make sure that that point was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">emphasized. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, like, let's talk about raising kids. I don't know if it happens to you, but as a mom, as a woman, I am constantly constantly in different ways, sometimes it's not so upfront, like where you can say, oh, this is exactly what they said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sometimes it's just sneaky. People are constantly judging my parenting or like saying what is best for our kids, where they don't know, they know nothing about our kids and our family. Right. Well, and they assume too much. And you know, it, it can really mess you up, especially when you're tired, especially when you're questioning yourself already because raising kids is no joke.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is horrifying and frightening and you are tired all the time. You're giving it all you have. And then you hear all these voices that are telling you, you're doing it wrong, where you are kind of judging yourself anyway, because you wanna make sure you're doing it right. I'm just saying that's kind of stuff messes you up stuff that should come naturally through love, but like case in point, the breathing thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Visualization. All those like gurus and mm-hmm give me a break, man. come on. you know, if I tell you, do you want a cup of coffee? That's visualization. You in your mind visualize a cup of coffee. That's all you need. Where's my. Go get it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> do you. I do. I completely get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that takes us kind of in my mind, at least to the next level of understanding and knowledge. And that is that anybody can throw facts at you all day, all night it's until you internalize them and make your own that it becomes wisdom and somebody expressing this is how you visualize, well, guess.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">this is how they visualize. And that works really well for them. Won't necessarily work well for you, because guess what? You're a completely different person. You, it may work </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, what, but it may not. What I'm saying is, you know, you know, best, you know, you know, you are your own if, if I can equate it to you are a super, uh, highly performance kind of vehicle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like a mm-hmm like a super car. right. You know how you drive, you know, where all your gears are, you know how to drive it. If someone comes in, let's say you're a Lamborghini. Someone comes in and they're a Ferrari. I bet you, they don't really know all the ins and outs of the Lamborghini. They have to figure it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But like, you know, here comes a Ferrari telling you how to drive. You as a Lamborghini, you are the Lamborghini, whatever. I don't know, cars. I'm just saying I don't know. You know, I'm just trying to make an example, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. And no, no, no, again, completely get it. I completely understand. Again, it's these pieces of interesting almost trivia, but not trivia, but like pieces of something that then can be transformed once you internalize them into knowledge. And that is indeed yes, first gear is good for this second gear is good for that, but how I get to first gear, how I get to second gear on my car is different paddle shifters, automagic, um, you know, uh, stick, shift, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> whatever it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Did you say automagic? That's your own word, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, it isn't. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It Isn't? I always thought you invented that. I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes, my wife very gullible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Stop </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it, I didn't invent it, but it's a very convenient </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> term.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thanks for calling me gullible and stupid. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">didn't. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hey, gullible is not stupid. Ignorant is not again,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">stupid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's it's I should bring to it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not so gullible. I don't appreciate that. Watch out </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> getting in trouble today, please. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's right. That's right. I'm feeling very frisky. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, frisky</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, not risky. I'm feeling very don't mess with me today. I'm on fire. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes boss. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what I'm saying is now I've oh, like for example, alright, don't get turned off by what I'm gonna say, cuz I know we are all from different faiths and some of us, just whatever you are, you are going about</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">life and life is quite magical. It is electronic. It is, it is vibrational. It is everything. It doesn't matter. I'm all religions. So I'm about to start talking about God, but for example, I've always had my own relationship with God, God and I are tight. Alright. I know. I, I get messages. I have been since I was a little kid, but you know, you get these people who are like, so religious coming in throughout your life. And they say stuff in your presence and it kind of accumulates. So if you don't clean up your atmosphere in your life, these things end up chipping away at and making your life they're chipping away at your life. And they're chipping away at your ability to really walk properly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It makes things mucky. For example. When I was a kid, like is an ex, okay. For example, this is an example of little voices in your head. Right. And they can stick around forever and you need to make sure you wipe it out and clear it pretty much on a daily basis. Right. You can call it meditation. You can call it just asking, telling yourself let's clear that. That's unnecessary.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is garbage. That needs to be recycled. That needs to be composted into something beautiful instead of just laying around and being all smelly and icky. all right. So for example, when I was a kid, I don't know, probably five or six years old. Mm-hmm I was playing with my cousin. And, you know, the family was religious of their own faith, whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was always, since the beginning, my own person, you know, I didn't really, like, I didn't have a particular religion or anything, but I had communication with spirit. Like I, I knew I knew who I was and I knew I knew spirit. I knew God, I, I heard the voice. I, it was just part of me, right? No question. But I was playing with my cousin and out of the blue</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">she's like, Hey, when you go to the bathroom, you should never think about God. because God's not gonna like that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's like the worst thing you can do is to think about God in the bathroom. So of course </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> don't, don't think about pink elephants. Oh God. Now I can't stop thinking. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> every time I went to the bathroom, I had a panic attack.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, because I of course would think about God. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to thinking to myself, but you know, you all know me. I get my best messages in the bathroom, probably because of that conversation. Ever since I can remember, I've always had great epiphanies and direction in life by being in the bathroom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think it's from God, it is divine. I get divine insight. I get insight into life when I'm in the bathroom. Mm-hmm but do you know what I'm saying? All these years, that's kind of stuck with. I had to, I realized the other night, I gotta clear that because what is that saying? I was talking to my friend, Ruth, our friend, Ruth, you met her, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She came on our show. We were talking about this last night that I'm fascinated by how people pray and the words that they choose to link together in an open prayer . Like I'm talking about my friends from all religions, even the ones that aren't religious. It's just fascinating how they master, they compose a prayer and I realized I'm afraid to pray out loud because I've heard all these wonderful people, so eloquently put together a prayer, things like spontaneous on the fly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They can come up with something totally eloquent to say for that situation. Whereas I was feeling very self-conscious I'm like, I can't do. Can I, so I came up with all these questions. I was talking to Ruth about it. Ruth is very spiritual, very of God, you know? Right. And I was like, okay, so I'm having a problem.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One is, I've been remembering all these things that people have told me. Like, don't ask God for anything. God has enough troubles. God is not here to help you with all your little details. I'm like, really? Cause I. God and I are tight. Like I always ask why not? And I always feel heard, but I had this enough from certain Catholic people and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> oh dear </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> certain Christians that had really messed me up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It kept happening over and over again throughout my life so far, like people saying that, like, why are you bothering God with your basically saying with your stupid asks God, God is busy. I'm like, well, isn't God infinite and everywhere. And like, why are you putting man's persona on God? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He's, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">he's a dude in a flowing robe who only has time to take care of one thing at a time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">See, again, not the tradition I was brought up in. I was literally told in confirmation school, which is for, yeah, you people who don't have to deal and there's different traditions, but it's how you become, you have to go through confirmation class and pass it ironically, and then you're accepted as a member of the Lutheran church.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But we were told you can pray like totally like leaning back with your arms out. It doesn't matter. and we were told you can ask for anything. And even my confirmation little Bible verse was, you know, whatever you ask for in prayer, you, you shall receive. Right. And that's in the Bible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You know, and, but that's new Testament.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Not old. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, I'm just saying, I think maybe I talk to more people and I have different conversations with people. Mm-hmm and people say the most outrageous stuff to me, you know, people say stuff to me that they would never say to you. Right. I don't know. Chalk it up to me being the color that I am. And you being the color, who knows why?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know, but I mean, that's just one example. And then the another one I heard was, God, won't hear you unless you voice it out loud. And this goes to the visualization. Oh, interesting. This goes to the visualization people too. You have to write it down. Right. And I know that's important. True, but they'll say it won't happen unless you write it down, it won't happen</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">uN unless you voice it out loud. Um, it won't happen. So I'm like, well, does that mean, God doesn't hear my, my thoughts. And so this was a conversation I was having with Ruth. I'm like, I'm confused now. Like I'm like, I don't even know she's like, of course, of course you, and she equated it to, she brought up a, an actual verse from the Bible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">because that's what she does, you know? Right. But she used a story as an example of like how the voice of God is in a whisper of the wind. I'm like, so if it's the voice of God is in the whisper of a wind. So my whispering of my mind is a whisper of the wind to God. So therefore it works both ways. So God or spirit, whatever you wanna call it can hear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can just think a thought. I can think a prayer. Is that valid, you know? And I needed that validation from someone who's an expert. You know what I mean? Like in that case, I'm seeking out an expert, like, can you set me straight? Like, this is what I believed since forever. Mm-hmm she's like, of course, of course a, a whisper of a thought is heard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Of course, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. But did you ask </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">her about peeing? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What do you mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, did you say it's bad to think of God when I pee? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, I, we totally talked about that. Yeah. She's like, that is ridiculous. Like , cause that's assuming that your body is filthy and God made your body like you are from God. Like why? It's not filthy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was just some ridiculous thing my stupid cousin brought up. Hey, when we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">were </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> five, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> this wasn't spitty spit. Spitty spit spit spit spit. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Was it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, it was not spitty spit spit. It was the cousin that made that nickname for spitty spits spit. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, nice. And guess why spitty spit spit had that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">nickname </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> by the way, we're translating it from Farsi.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We called him. Well, actually I never called him this, but the cousin called him tof tofu. TOF is spit you know, it's like spitty spit, spit spitty would be tofu, but TOF means to spit. And so to tofu was his name and it was created by the same cousin. Just mean, who said don't think of God in the bathroom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> this person liked to be in charge </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> anyway.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You've met them. They're nuts, these people, but anyway, I digress. So, yeah. Where were we anyways? We're talking about<strong>. "</strong> <strong>Experts" and party poopers that can throw you off your game. </strong>Now I talked about religion and faith, but it comes in so many forms. Baking, like I'm doing a great job baking and then someone comes along and says, you can't do it like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Baking is a science. I'm like it is?! Cuz I just grab a handful of this and it, but that's what I. You and other people , but like, but yet you enjoy my baklava. You enjoy everything I make pretty much, sometimes I screw up, but I don't measure like that. It is not a science. The science for me is emotion and heart and love, you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, and then, you know, then I started freaking out. I'm like, oh my God, I have to get one of those scales and measure it. And oh, I have to measure it in a cup this way and oh, it's, it's too much just live your life. you're a goodhearted person. Walk your walk. There are too many voices right now, and there are too many voices because everyone's trying to make a buck.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Honestly, everyone sees the traditional way of making money is now gone. So all these people are online telling you, you have to buy their course and they get so protective of like that. They're like so hungry and greedy to make money a certain way that they don't care how it's affecting people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everybody's selling a course now, you know, I may sell a course in the future, but I, I hope that I don't behave like that. I hope that it's done with integrity and a sense of openness and a sense of sharing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you know? Right. It should come from a place of abundance rather than a place of scarcity. And there's a lot of, if you don't, if you don't take my course, then you can't do such and such.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. You'll never make it without my course or you'll never make it you know, whatever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Walk, your walk, figure out what works for you </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>and move</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> anyway. That's the message for today. Love you guys. Talk to you in a few days. Don't let the turkeys get you down or don't let the party poopers poop on you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Be well, talk to you later. Bye-bye bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[A toast: "Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell."
Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when we talk about people we don't like and we compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.What's a good word to describe people who just get you down, the ones who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. This episode is dedicated to our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walk their walk, and are in some ways, accosted by people who totally try to throw you off.  Sometimes it comes in the form of random chatter and if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up. This is a fix for all that stuff.
Party Poopers
Good 
[00:00:01] Fawn: morning. 
[00:00:02] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:02] Fawn: Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello to the world. Hello, our beautiful friends. Don't let the turkeys get you down. Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when you talk about people and you compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.
What's a good word to describe people who just get you down. Who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. I'm and I'm talking to all of our goodhearted people, right? I'm talking about our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walking their walk, and you're in some ways, accosted by people
who totally try to, throw you off. I don't know if it's intentional. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not, sometimes it's just the way they are. And if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up.
[00:01:04] Matt: Call 'em party poopers.
[00:01:06] Fawn: Oh yeah. Party 
[00:01:07] Matt: poopers. Every party has a pooper. That's why we invited you party pooper. Oh my God. Okay. Oh, oh, wait. That was a song. Oh. Oh, hope we don't get in trouble for 
that. Oh, 
[00:01:15] Fawn: So for example, I'm a yoga teacher, but there's so many people now telling you how to breathe. ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:22:55</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Ethics part 4 "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth."]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Sep 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/ethics-part-4-34he-who-cannot-draw-on-3000-years-is-living-hand-to-mouth34</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/ethics-part-4-34he-who-cannot-draw-on-3000-years-is-living-hand-to-mouth34</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Goethe said "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth." We explore our history and think about this quote by Goethe as we wrap our ethics series. We explore so much, including </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Goethe, the four ideals, prosperity, the satisfaction of desires, moral duty, spiritual perfection, Lao Tzu, "Tao te Ching," living simply and honestly, the idea of reciprocity and much more.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yuhoo hello? Hello? Are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we ready? Oh my goodness. Yes. So here we are. We're back to talk about ethics. Oh my God. Again, um, we're gonna try to wrap it up though, which, which of course, you know, seeing is how we're literally at, uh, one CE or one common era. Ad for you folks who didn't grow up with it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is an awful lot going on. In point of fact, Goethe said "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth." </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Goethe man or woman, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> man. German man German. He is the man in German, literature. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I always get a little scared with anything Germans. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He does. What's his background. We certainly need to touch a little bit on NCHE today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's gonna be really </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">scary. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. Can we make it a quick one today? We're gonna do what we can do. It's like when you're moving, you're like, okay, we have everything in boxes. And then when it really comes down to it, you're like, oh, wait a minute. There's this piece over here, this piece over there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you end up just cramming everything into one final box. Right? And I think that's what we're doing today. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, ethics is a very complicated thing or situation, isn't it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Goethe said "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth." We explore our history and think about this quote by Goethe as we wrap our ethics series. We explore so much, including Goethe, the four ideals, prosperity, the satisfaction of desires, moral duty, spiritual perfection, Lao Tzu, "Tao te Ching," living simply and honestly, the idea of reciprocity and much more.
 
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Yuhoo hello? Hello? Are 
[00:00:04] Matt: we ready? Oh my goodness. Yes. So here we are. We're back to talk about ethics. Oh my God. Again, um, we're gonna try to wrap it up though, which, which of course, you know, seeing is how we're literally at, uh, one CE or one common era. Ad for you folks who didn't grow up with it. 
There is an awful lot going on. In point of fact, Goethe said "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth." 
[00:00:32] Fawn: Okay. Goethe man or woman, 
[00:00:35] Matt: man. German man German. He is the man in German, literature. 
[00:00:42] Fawn: I always get a little scared with anything Germans. 
[00:00:46] Matt: He does. What's his background. We certainly need to touch a little bit on NCHE today.
So that's gonna be really 
scary. 
[00:00:51] Fawn: Oh my God. Can we make it a quick one today? We're gonna do what we can do. It's like when you're moving, you're like, okay, we have everything in boxes. And then when it really comes down to it, you're like, oh, wait a minute. There's this piece over here, this piece over there.
And you end up just cramming everything into one final box. Right? And I think that's what we're doing today. 
[00:01:11] Matt: oh my goodness. 
[00:01:12] Fawn: I mean, ethics is a very complicated thing or situation, isn't it? 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Ethics part 4 "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth."]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Goethe said "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth." We explore our history and think about this quote by Goethe as we wrap our ethics series. We explore so much, including </strong></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Goethe, the four ideals, prosperity, the satisfaction of desires, moral duty, spiritual perfection, Lao Tzu, "Tao te Ching," living simply and honestly, the idea of reciprocity and much more.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yuhoo hello? Hello? Are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we ready? Oh my goodness. Yes. So here we are. We're back to talk about ethics. Oh my God. Again, um, we're gonna try to wrap it up though, which, which of course, you know, seeing is how we're literally at, uh, one CE or one common era. Ad for you folks who didn't grow up with it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is an awful lot going on. In point of fact, Goethe said "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth." </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Goethe man or woman, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> man. German man German. He is the man in German, literature. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I always get a little scared with anything Germans. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He does. What's his background. We certainly need to touch a little bit on NCHE today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's gonna be really </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">scary. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. Can we make it a quick one today? We're gonna do what we can do. It's like when you're moving, you're like, okay, we have everything in boxes. And then when it really comes down to it, you're like, oh, wait a minute. There's this piece over here, this piece over there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you end up just cramming everything into one final box. Right? And I think that's what we're doing today. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, ethics is a very complicated thing or situation, isn't it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And there's, I mean, we, we should have a whole podcast on just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">ethics, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. And ethics is of course that branch of philosophy that's, uh, concerned with what is morally good and bad, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And wrong, where they may or may not stand in opposition to each other, sometimes good and evil and right and wrong are in conflict. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's get started. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. So when we last left our heroes, as I like to say, we kinda left with the world with, Christianity starting to become ensconced in Rome.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Not fair because we can certainly go from there and go through all the Western philosophers and talk about ethics of moral right and wrong, but we're completely ignoring what happened over there to the east. So we need to talk about India. Because India gave birth to Hinduism and something that maybe people aren't that aware of, but it also gave birth to, Buddhism.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">In India they had this sense that the world was set up in a correct way in a moral way. And the way things were set up was the way things were supposed to be set up. So they looked towards, four ideals and those four ideals would be, prosperity. Hey, we love that one, satisfaction of desires.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They didn't ignore that aspect of ourselves and deny it the way other people did, moral duty and spiritual perfection. And it's that last one that catches you out. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what are the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">four again?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Prosperity. Woo, woo. Satisfaction desires. Awesome. Moral duty and spiritual perfection. Mm-hmm . So we start getting into this sense of the wheel of Dharma, the improvement of life</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">as you go on the, transitioning from perhaps one form to another form. And so all of a sudden, now that takes us out of my life, my specific life on earth and takes me to a more I need to do good things for society because in 300 years, right. I need to, you know, make sure that things are okay, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so you're not myopic, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Again, you're not living hand to mouth. You're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not tunnel visioned. You're seeing the broader picture. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right? Right now, of course there was backlash. There is always a hedonistic cult. There is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> always back backlash. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's always people to argue. And, and when you get into Western philosophy, which I encourage everybody to do, there's a lot of back and forth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And a lot of I refute this, but I accept that. There's a lot of that going on, but anyways, back to India, so they believed that the world was set up the way it should be set up, which led to what now is still existing in India, denial or not the caste system. Where you have priests, you have soldiers and you have kind of the others.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Excuse me. We all have a cast system. There's a definite cast system in the United States. You know, there's a cast system everywhere. I think in society, there's a cast system like it or not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> spoken like a true Indian, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not, not, not like it or not, but it's, I'm, it's spoken as a realist. Don't tell me there's not a cast system in every country I'm just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">around the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm just saying it's not necessarily as let's call it established as it was, is in India. So everything's ordered the way it's ordered and that's how it should always be. Wow. Interesting and great. Certainly if you are a priest or warrior, cuz they're kind of equivalent and warrior cast is also like the ruling is also like the Kings and such.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not so good if you're in the other cast and they're sub cast to them, but those are the major ones. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean studying Greek and Roman history, there was definitely a cast system there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, there were certainly slaves. There were senators and there, there were landowners, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So anyways, so there was a backlash towards the he a hedonistic cult or hedonistic branch. And there was also another schism that went the complete other way. And these are the, oh, I can't pronounce. J a, I N I'll go Jane, but I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm gonna offend somebody which is still around today. And those are the people that you hear about who are, oh my God, we can't hurt insects. Oh my God, we can't hurt. They actually literally took this sense of moral duty, and spiritual perfection to the point of not harming others. Because that of course is part of your moral duty is not to harm anybody mm-hmm or any.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's very interesting. I always </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wondered about them because, so you can't eat potatoes, right? Like they're very, very careful why not potatoes? Um, I don't remember, but there was a reason like potato is off. I think, I think I'm talking about the same group, but it's like, what do they eat then? I always think as a vegan, I'm still harming plants.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I totally believe plants have consciousness and feelings and all of that. How do they survive? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And it's like, oh, well, okay. Do they drive a car ever? I can, I can, I can only eat like maybe windfall apples, but, uh, is a windfall apple, a potential apple tree. Mm-hmm things start to get real sticky real quick.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Um, and there actually is, there are people who belong to this sect who there's there's, there's like there's two sets of rules, one for one for the priesthood and then one for just regular people. So they don't have to take it to quite the extreme. So I'm willing to bet that, that, you know, people who adhere to that can ride in a train.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They anyways, anyways. And then of course we have Buddhism . And this was a 29 year old prince who one day saw, what is it? an old man, a sick man. A </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is this Sidhartha yes. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. This is the Budha. This is the Budha with capital T capital B. Um, anyways,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the original</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">one day he saw his parents kept him away from everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And one day he saw an old man, a sick man, a man being a, a dead man and a priest well, he decided to become a priest of those four options. That was the one he liked the most, not, he didn't intend it to be a religion. He intended it to be a philosophy and he intended it to be a philosophy where you walk in between, this world of absolute spiritual, it was, he was still of the world and he understood that he would be of the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But he practiced self denial and all the rest of it and freedom from desire and all of that and all of that. And that kind of was rejected in India, but China seemed to like it a lot. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">China of course, is its own everything. And between Buddhism, you also have another two, legendary figures and that would be Lao Tzu the man who wrote the "Tao te ching,"</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">which some people only know is a fortune telling system, which is, you know, kind of interesting and bizarre. And then you also have Confucius. Now, Lao Tzu said, Hey, live simple and honest rock on. And he wrote the "Tao te Ching," and everybody draws great meaning from it. I as well, I have a copy and I do refer to it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a very thick, big copy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But if you wanna distill him down, you kind of distill it down to live simple and honest. And then, if you had to distill, say Confucius down to one, one word, you can actually do it. And that is reciprocity ,kind of the golden rule. You know, what you do to others, you gonna have done to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he attempted to really define a. Much more, much more rigid where people on top have to help people on the bottom. and then what's very, very interesting is this is one of those instances because they do cast, they both cast such a looming shadow over things. They actually met one another Confucius was very confused by Loa Tzu he didn't understand him at all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just spun around in circles. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And of course, Confucius then later had, after he passed then he had different, factions grow up around his philosophy. And one side said that the reason why people are evil is either due to a bad upbringing, so it's the parent's fault, or a lack of education. Then the other, other kind of side said that the rules of morality, keep our baser needs in check.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's why we have to have these moralistic rules. I'd love to say gee, that covers it, but my God, there's a lot more going on there, but unfortunately we gotta go back to Rome. And we gotta go back to that. Unfortunately, the Western tradition, which is just gonna drive, Fawn nuts. So we're back there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Jesus' disciples. Think the end of the world is coming. It doesn't. So what does that mean? Well, all of a sudden, Rome has an empire to run </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and you, well, let's rewind. Yes. So they thought the end of the world was coming and. They just gave away all their belongings. They Marie Kondoed everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. And then what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> happened? The end of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the world didn't happen. And then what happened? Because remember in two, in the year, 2000, right before the year, 2000 mm-hmm everyone thought it was the end of the world, then it was 20, 20. Was it 2020? When was it the end of the may calendar? I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it was more like 2012 </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or 20, 20 12.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's right. 2012. But. Do people just do bad things. I'm, I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> wondering like people try, honestly, I think more people try and get right than try and get wrong. Hmm. I think, I think it's definitely a rule of more of the moralist versus the hedonist, which is kind of where we sit today, which is kind of the history of philosophy is, is the sense of morals;</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">is that something that we're taught or something that is inherent to us and what is inherently good, which is exactly what ethics has to talk about. And everybody ping, pongs it back and forth. so we're back in Rome and you've got a whole bunch of Christian soldiers who refuse to fight because killing is wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. And obviously the auditorial games were wrong and, and slavery, once again is wrong. So what are you gonna do? So you're in power in Rome, but now the Roman emperor has become a Christian. So what do you do? Do you outlaw slavery? Well all the rich landowners are gonna be really upset who have lots of slaves are gonna be really upset.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it sounds like, or do you piss off the general </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> population? So I see why you went to that quote because it seems like we are just going in loops. and we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> do and that over and over again. And that's another thing that somebody else hipped me to, that I need to take a closer look </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> at. Oh yeah. Our friend mark, you guys mark.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Suddenly one day we were talking, he and this was after Matt and I got into a big fight over how he sees the future versus how I see the future. And I guess I made my point really. It was well pointed out whatever I said. I guess, because you got so depressed and you just said, I give up, I'm exhausted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? There is no refuting what I was saying. Right. And I was talking about women's rights, just everyone's rights that are being trampled on right now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Whereas I saw it as a pendulum, right. And swing one way, and then they swing the other way. And that's kind of how </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> things go. And, and I was saying, Mmm, no things are really messed up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And to the point of no </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> return, you were making the argument I actually learned from my systems and simulation computer class, where, when systems generally like to get into harmony, except when they get completely out of whack and you are making the argument that the system getting completely out of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> whack.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And, and my argument was, it is so out of whack that it will break and things will be really, really bad. And then you have to start all over again. There are, there is evidence out there with some certain archeologists who have found that every 5,000 years civilization gets completely destroyed. Like mankind goes away, things just break and you have to start all over again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anyway. So we had this very depressing talk and fight. And then, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and Fawn was right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Fawn was right. I was rice. Fawn was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Fawn was right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, I really didn't wanna be right. I was trying to, I know, make a point and I was hoping you would counter it like you usually do, but you didn't, you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> are just gonna hear my same tired, old arguments and you're right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And I was saying, yeah, they are tired. you're gonna hear it. Yeah. So what happened was Mark came in our friend Mark, and he's like, guys, I, I think I figured it out and I feel optimistic about the future. And we're like, oh my God, what? Tell us right now. So we met for coffee and he broke it down for us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I really wanna do an episode with Mark, but then Mark wants to make sure that he gets his facts straight before he comes on here. whereas I just like to just like, let's just talk about it. You know what I'm saying? because yeah, it was, it was a little bit uplifting, not a little bit, but a lot uplifting listening to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And his explanation of basically it was like Aikido and circles and what you just said, right? It just, it comes back around </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyways, back to ethics. All right. And now back to our show, so all of a sudden, now you have Christian soldiers or soldiers who convert to Christianity saying I can't go to war. And all of a sudden you have Roman leaders saying, well, if we have a significant population who won't fight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well guess what, we're gonna lose this empire and somebody else is gonna carve us up. And everybody, the guy on top always wants to stay on top. Right? So all of a sudden ethics has to become oh, dead, deadly. Ethics has to become flexible and all of a sudden killing in the name of Jesus is okay. Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I know. Scary. Absolutely scary. But you see this time and time again, because what are you gonna do? Are you gonna let the other guys steam roll you? Are you not? So we start getting into something that we later dwell on. We under Maia valley, which is kind of the politics of power. What did you say? Maia valley.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Oh yeah. Maia valley is the guy way in the, and again, this is one people hate to talk about. That's why we're gonna talk about Machiavelli. We're gonna talk about Nietzsche. Machiavelli was all about if you're in power, how you gonna stay </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there? Was he a dictator? I don't know anything about Machiavell. Well, some </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> people say maybe the prince was, meant sarcastically, but people took it to heart.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because if you are in charge, your problems are different than if you're not in charge. Right. And it's, you start making all sorts of moral decisions about what you do, right? Mm-hmm you start saying, well, is it okay to let 10,000 people starve if a hundred thousand people don't starve. How do you make these decisions?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Utilitarianism is, an offshoot of that, which is greatest, good, greatest number, welcome Star Trek fans. It's tricky. So all of a sudden Christianity had to get more kind of okay with these weird moral dilemmas and all of a sudden, you know, for, uh, religious figures to say, Yes. It's better to kill than, you know, in the name of, because we're right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because, because, because, and, you know, you start to see, philosophical issues kind of get. Maybe trampled on maybe tramped on's the right word. And again, slavery, because Christianity believed that yeah. Slaves were just as saveable as anybody else. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> basically we're getting away from true. Well, ethics can mean anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ethics doesn't mean good. So we're getting away from do no harm. Because you wanna make a buck or you wanna be in power and you know what? You can justify any movement you make and make it right with yourself, for yourself to like keep going. So like when you have a friend and your friend acts horribly and starts saying messed up things to you and the friendship breaks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When the friendship breaks up, they have their own moral justification and they talk to other people about it and like explain their point of view. Or like, even to themselves say why they broke up their friendship. You can make whatever justifications you want. You still did wrong. But if you don't wanna look at that, you know, you just justify until in your head, you brainwash yourself into thinking you did no harm. So all this stuff that's happening again, I think it is just a bunch of the, the patriarchy, basically like men thinking this is the way to go and it's not. There's. So, like I said, in the previous show, I just think there are other possibilities and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Looking at history right now and saying, this is justified. This is in, you know, in the name of we're doing this. Even if it's in the name of feeding the whole world, it's just basically you have to come to the very, very simple truth of something and don't make excuses. If you have to make excuses. To me, that is wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's something wrong. If you're having to justify something it's wrong and you know, it's wrong, that's why you're sitting there trying to justify it and put a name on it in the name of, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but then what's the difference between trying to justify it and just trying to explain it, or am I, am I going down the apologia or route you are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> going down the aplologia or right, because of the apologia or route, because if you're having to explain it, if you're having to justify.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Something is a skew. If something is totally good, there's no explaining. There's no nothing. So if you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> back to me and say, how could you steal that loaf of bread? I shouldn't say anything. Or should I say it was to feed my family? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, that's because I asked you, but if you're gonna say I had to do this to feed my family, you know, it was wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's you're just, you're justifying it, right. I'm not saying it wasn't. I'm not, I'm not judging, but it's like, I think it comes down to judging yourself. And I think that's a number one issue. And another number one issue is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it's about not even thinking about how you are affecting others. That's another issue. So either you're making excuses or you're so such a psychopath that you're not even thinking of others. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And sometimes that's absolutely true. I, I have a hard time arguing that fact, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but that's, that's a whole other issue, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is, there's a problem right there, right? Because obviously something is wrong if you're not able to have empathy and compassion and see someone else's perspective. That's a whole other disease, I think. And I think that's someone who does not belong in the tribe let alone lead </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a tribe, right. Where a tribe is, uh, just a complete mix of people, because I would say that, you know, in this modern day world where I can theoretically, you know, and let's talk, let's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, modern day 2019 world. Let's not talk about now, cuz I don't know where things are now with the apple cart, but in the 2019 world, I could jump in my car, go to work, talk with a bunch of people who have similar education, similar backgrounds, similar socioeconomic, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And believe I am connecting with my tribe and hearing their argument and making them my own that doesn't take into account everybody else. Mm-hmm because, you know, I'm, I might be working in a privileged position or I might be working in a completely unprivileged position, but I don't necessarily get contact on the other side of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You know, to get a true sense to right. Get connection to that aspect of humanity. Mm-hmm because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're in your bubble. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. And, and that's really the trick. That's really the, I think the hard part about it all. How do you break out of the bubble? How do you, how do you connect with people who aren't just like you particularly, and again now in the internet age where I can literally find, you know, a group of people who maybe went to the same school work at the same company, the whole kit and caboodle who are exactly like me, I can find groups of these people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We could ignore the rest of the world. I would </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> say, don't go seeking a group. I would say, go back to a clear slate and be nothing and just watch the world and, and taste all the flavors. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And, and that's just it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And be open without having to profess what you are about and without having to profess what you think all of that. Be a clear slate and see nature as it is. And by that, I mean, not only looking at the trees and the birds and everything, but going out and just like seeing how people speak and how people walk and how people live, how people cook, how people create and just watch like your, like I always say, when you wanna be a good friend, you have to almost treat it like you're watching a movie and don't put anything on it, just watch it and see how it's evolving, how it's transpiring. Right. So I would say the same thing with the whole ethics and joining groups and everything. It's like, don't, don't be such a joiner, just like be open, you know, without judgment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just, just watch and listen. You don't have to prove your point all the time. The most important thing is to prove it to yourself and think it to yourself, but like, why are you propagating? Whatever you think is right. Like why? Just be quiet </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and again, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> unless, unless someone needs help, you're gonna let me talk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">all right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Go my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> goodness. Sorry. The woman has an opinion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Dang. I'm kidding. Go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Dang. Ouch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, anyways, no, I, I completely agree. It's like figuring out how you can free yourself from judgment, which is a, a real thought one for me personally, by the way. Uh, however, I do try and maintain a sense of curiosity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I wanna know why. I'm curious as to why I'm not trying to needle in my point, I'm trying to understand. And one of my favorite things is when somebody takes an assumption I have and spins it upside down and forces, most people don't like that forces me to take a completely different </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">look at the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. We were talking about this yesterday. Why do people get upset with you when you say I'm moving? It's because you're disrupting the pattern that they're used to. And it comes with everything, right? Like they, they have figured out how to go about their lives. They depend on seeing you, or they depend on knowing that you're gonna be there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I'm saying? And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes, but it, I think it's it's, to me, there's a second point to it. There, there is that selfish, complete selfish aspect to it. And then there's also this aspect of the way I live is best and people like feeling that way. Again, it's the same way that people believe that they always act in the most moral way possible, most moral, not necessarily moral way, but the most moral.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you leaving, people can view that as a rejection of the things that they like or hold onto. Like why would you ever want to leave the most fantastic place on earth? The most cetera, cetera, cetera, you are basically, people can feel like you are rejecting them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. We talked about this. Remember when we were talking about, we don't have mentors anymore and we brought it back to like generations and</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">parents get so offended, especially like as immigrants, immigrant parents get offended when you start becoming more of the culture that you moved into, than your parents did, it's a threat to them right of their existence and everything that they're about. But it comes not just with immigrants, but just parents in general, like generation to the next generation, especially these days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, they feel rejected. They feel like you're saying your way is wrong. Whereas it's just the transformation of life, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? Absolutely. Or the evolution of your own personal beliefs. And we see something similar in philosophy. So we see people refuting and typically it comes right back to the Greeks versus the Christians, at least in Western thought where the Greeks believed in, uh, worldly success and the Christians quote, unquote Christians. And this is also Judaeo-Christian by the way, they emphasized meekness and obedience and patience. And, and the Greeks didn't do that. We talked about this last show and we go back and forth because, you know, you look at, um, something like, St.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Augustine, and he believed that. Again, meekness. And then, you know, boom, you go to somebody like an Occam who believes that whatever God does is good. And that's a scary thought and philosophy, and I'm getting there to Machiavelli who says G stay in power baby, because you're gonna help out the most people by doing that, even though he didn't really talk about a moral imperative, he only talked about staying in control.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Doing whatever it took to stay in control. So if that meant being a good guy, be a good guy. If that meant not being a good guy, don't be a good guy. Scary. And that takes us zing, zing, zing, Hobbs, the ultimate hedonist who believed that I'll do whatever I want to do. Because it makes me feel good and people come back to that saying, but then why help out poor people?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he says, well, cuz I, I like the smile on the poor person's face when I give him cash. He skirts the issue though. And he avoids any kind of overarching moral imperative. And that takes us to marks who says the government should enforce equality. And then finally to Nietzsche who allowed the justification of the Nazis, I, which is a scary world. And that's where we always go in ethics is we look at the Nazis as the inherent evil cuz they were, are whatever you want to call it. And Nietzsche gave birth to that. And he said, God is dead. And he was definitely more of the Greek tradition of, if you've got it, flaunt, baby.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the, these two forces are at war today and it's very, very challenging. The mixed messages, that you'll see, from the media, from everything else, which way you wanna swing. And , it's hard. It's hard to justify back and forth. Like, you know, if you make 10 gajillion dollars, why shouldn't you show off?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I get it. I totally get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">This is where I'm hoping you'll come back </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> with something. Well, I don't wanna say anything because you're like, oh, there you go talking again, because, you know, I tend to like, just when a golfer has millions and millions of dollars. Yes. And they're obviously doing some event where they get paid another 700 million from an entity that hurts</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">hurts people. Mm-hmm that is very vindictive and very, violent. Right, right. Mm-hmm do you know what I'm referring to right now? What's happening these days? I think so.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's the same thing over and over again. They can justify, well, if I, what, whatever reasons they have for. You already have enough money? Why are you doing this? Why are you obviously playing or working for people that are so obviously against human rights. Right. But they have their own justifications.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And in their own head they can make it okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yep. And we are remarkably adaptable creatures in that regard. We are absolutely remarkable creatures. And I guess </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this is where it comes in. People are like, well, this is what makes people resent the very wealthy, because you, your decisions are so highlighted on such an extreme where you can say money is evil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You see that and you, people don't wanna be successful because they think this is the prime example of the root of evil's money. Right. But I think the root of no money is evil and, and wait, no, wait, did I say that right? Do you know what I'm saying? It, it, wait, I didn't say that. Right. I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> if you have way too much and you don't have any that in both cases, that's not, that's not a good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know. I think way too much is fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why is having way too much? Not okay?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think it depends on what you choose to do with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it. That's what I'm saying. I think it just magnifies your ethical decisions cuz they're on a bigger scale. Right. You know, we also buy gas for our car. Where does that come from? It comes from the same group of people that are paying all these golfers, like all this money for some one event, you know, mm-hmm , but in our little meager way where we're doing the same thing that the golfers are doing that we're saying, whoa, what, why are you, why are you</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">in business with these people, right? Whereas we are all in business with these people. You can't get away from it, but I can see where the distortion comes in of wanting to just remain poor and remain, not in power because you don't want nothing to do with this, but we're all in it. And so it comes down to do no harm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just in your own way, on a daily basis, as much as you can, think, what benefits my fellow human, what benefits my fellow life, the life of all that includes everyone, the plants, everything, the world, because your little decisions are the same as the $700 million decision the golfer is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> making. I totally get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then, and just think all this talk is pretty much BS. If you have to talk about it, there's something wrong. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There you go because you're having your own doubts and you want to talk things through in the same way. When I have a problem at work, I, we call it a rubber, rubber duck syndrome, but you, you talk to maybe a rubber duck, or maybe it's another, a person you're working with and you talk through the problem.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And sometimes that helps you come to a, a conclusion about it or a decision about it. Mm-hmm and a solution. It's just the moral imperatives are a lot trickier and it's a lot harder because yeah, there's so much, so many arguments on both sides. As history, 3000 years has taught us. I mean, there's a lot of people spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff and, you know, you can choose to follow a Kant or, you know, a Kierkegaard, or you can know a Kant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Kant is, uh, was a philosopher. Yes. Oh my God, honey. And there's a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> gajillion album. No, I'm just thinking about when I have to transcribe this. K a N T. Thank you for spelling it. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and Kierkegaard. Good luck. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> thanks, honey. Yep. Uh, well, I, I had two of something. You were just, oh, nevermind. It's just too much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, okay. Here's what I was gonna say, basically breaking it down, I would say, this applies to all of life. If you have to ask, there's a problem, unless you're a psychopath and none of this, then you better ask. Well, but they don't even do it. You know what I'm saying? I know I'm teasing, but like, for example, remember we would watch that show cheaters.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my God. if you have to, if you have a feeling something's wrong, something is wrong. Right. Just move on, get out. Do you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And well, yeah, I, I used to say, if you get invited on the Jerry Springer, Just disconnect from whoever invited you on the show and just don't even find out something is wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're good. , you're good. You don't really need to know cuz it's gonna be, God knows what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and because you do already know there it is. You know, do you know what I'm saying? Yes. And so it's, it's in the same line as saying, if you have to talk about it, if you have to keep justifying something, there's something wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. I was talking to Heather, remember we had Heather on our show. Mm-hmm who, uh, is psychic and I called her about something. Like Heather, I don't know. What do you think? She's like, you already know the answer. If you have to ask me there's something wrong with that, hell. Right, right. Like, and she was telling me, like, people come to me about relationships, which to me relates back to cheaters.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like if you have to ask there's something going on, if everything is great copacetic, there's no asking. There's no talking, you're just living. Right. Right. Absolutely. You're you're enjoying your best life. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. And there you go. And, and to circle back, absolutely to friendship. I would say don't necessarily embrace the Greek don't necessarily embrace the Judeo christian. It's okay to say I'm I'm good. Is it okay to feel that way? But you know, for God's sake, let's, let's do what we can do to help each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Boom. Is that it and maintain curiosity and try and free yourself from judgment. I'm gonna work on that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> one too. Matt, you say that almost every episode maintain your curiosity. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> served me well, it has no, it's true. That's one of the things that made me look at you when you would ask me certain questions or you would notice things about me that most people ignore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">right. You were curious, but you were also educated about it, you were open there was no judgment, it was just pure loving to know this person. And that is such a beautiful quality. And I think that's the key to friendship, right? That's one of the arts right there is using that curiosity for that curiosity, to be allowed to serve as respect and honoring someone or something. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> go. Okay. Well, what do you think, are we good for this, for this table? Talk today? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Any, anything else are we done? I'm good. Thank you. Oh my God. You're good. Thank. Oh, thank God. Okay. you're nice. This whole ethics talk is very hard for me because it just makes me nuts. It's it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> simple. Just keeping, yes. You, you would think life is simple, but I think eat your rice. Drink your tea while your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> clothes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. When we make things complicated, it's like, why there's so much to do? Why are we making things complicated? You know, you're doing wrong, you know, something is wrong. It's wrong. Do something about it. love you guys. We'll talk to you in a few days. Once again, our friendly world podcast.com www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please leave us a review out there in the world. You can donate to our show, help things along. You can join our circle of friends and grow a community so we can create a better society through the art of friendship. And all we're asking is just let's connect and let's find ways and let's find discussions, but let's find ways in which we can make our society a friendlier one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is our only goal is let's just make things better for everyone from social stuff to economic stuff, to everything. So we can all thrive and be happy. All right, love you guys. Talk to you soon. Be well, bye </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Goethe said "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth." We explore our history and think about this quote by Goethe as we wrap our ethics series. We explore so much, including Goethe, the four ideals, prosperity, the satisfaction of desires, moral duty, spiritual perfection, Lao Tzu, "Tao te Ching," living simply and honestly, the idea of reciprocity and much more.
 
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Yuhoo hello? Hello? Are 
[00:00:04] Matt: we ready? Oh my goodness. Yes. So here we are. We're back to talk about ethics. Oh my God. Again, um, we're gonna try to wrap it up though, which, which of course, you know, seeing is how we're literally at, uh, one CE or one common era. Ad for you folks who didn't grow up with it. 
There is an awful lot going on. In point of fact, Goethe said "he who cannot draw on 3000 years is living hand to mouth." 
[00:00:32] Fawn: Okay. Goethe man or woman, 
[00:00:35] Matt: man. German man German. He is the man in German, literature. 
[00:00:42] Fawn: I always get a little scared with anything Germans. 
[00:00:46] Matt: He does. What's his background. We certainly need to touch a little bit on NCHE today.
So that's gonna be really 
scary. 
[00:00:51] Fawn: Oh my God. Can we make it a quick one today? We're gonna do what we can do. It's like when you're moving, you're like, okay, we have everything in boxes. And then when it really comes down to it, you're like, oh, wait a minute. There's this piece over here, this piece over there.
And you end up just cramming everything into one final box. Right? And I think that's what we're doing today. 
[00:01:11] Matt: oh my goodness. 
[00:01:12] Fawn: I mean, ethics is a very complicated thing or situation, isn't it? 
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:39:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Origins of Ethics and Its Influence on Friendship part 3]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Aug 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-origins-of-ethics-and-its-influence-on-friendship-part-3</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-origins-of-ethics-and-its-influence-on-friendship-part-3</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>ethics and the origins of it, understand ethics, bringing it back to how it is affecting our friendships, how it is affecting our society, and basically ultimately our lives. E<span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">thics is philosophical and it deals, it concerns itself with conduct in questions of good and evil in right and wrong.</span></span></span> </strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>The definition- <span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Ethical; derived from the Greek word ethos, which means character, and from the word, Mores, which means customs. Together they combine to define how individuals choose to interact with one another.</span></span></span></strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>So let's make things better, create a better world, and try to understand the shenanigans that took place that created the whole basis for ethics.</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We also explore Greek and Roman influence on us to this day. What do we do with this information? Understanding how we got where we are now and where we are now is the key. There are a lot of weirdness, differences, and change we need to look at.</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Ethics 3 TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, everybody. Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay. Guess what? We're gonna continue on talking about ethics. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ethics and the origins of it. We're gonna break it down little by little baby steps. Oh my goodness. there is a lot of noise outside. Sorry. It's a hot hot day. We have to have the windows open.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're gonna hear screeching, screeching cars and birds and screeching birds. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And as soon as I said that the birds got quiet. Okay. So ethics where it came from. Well, the origins of it, we were starting to little baby steps, little bites, understand ethics, bringing it back to how it is affecting our friendships, how it is affecting our society,...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ethics and the origins of it, understand ethics, bringing it back to how it is affecting our friendships, how it is affecting our society, and basically ultimately our lives. Ethics is philosophical and it deals, it concerns itself with conduct in questions of good and evil in right and wrong. 
The definition- Ethical; derived from the Greek word ethos, which means character, and from the word, Mores, which means customs. Together they combine to define how individuals choose to interact with one another.
So let's make things better, create a better world, and try to understand the shenanigans that took place that created the whole basis for ethics.
We also explore Greek and Roman influence on us to this day. What do we do with this information? Understanding how we got where we are now and where we are now is the key. There are a lot of weirdness, differences, and change we need to look at.
Ethics 3 TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. Welcome back. 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello 
[00:00:02] Fawn: okay. Guess what? We're gonna continue on talking about ethics. 
[00:00:06] Matt: Oh dear 
[00:00:06] Fawn: ethics and the origins of it. We're gonna break it down little by little baby steps. Oh my goodness. there is a lot of noise outside. Sorry. It's a hot hot day. We have to have the windows open.
You're gonna hear screeching, screeching cars and birds and screeching birds. 
[00:00:27] Matt: Exactly. 
[00:00:28] Fawn: And as soon as I said that the birds got quiet. Okay. So ethics where it came from. Well, the origins of it, we were starting to little baby steps, little bites, understand ethics, bringing it back to how it is affecting our friendships, how it is affecting our society,...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Origins of Ethics and Its Influence on Friendship part 3]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>ethics and the origins of it, understand ethics, bringing it back to how it is affecting our friendships, how it is affecting our society, and basically ultimately our lives. E<span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">thics is philosophical and it deals, it concerns itself with conduct in questions of good and evil in right and wrong.</span></span></span> </strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>The definition- <span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">Ethical; derived from the Greek word ethos, which means character, and from the word, Mores, which means customs. Together they combine to define how individuals choose to interact with one another.</span></span></span></strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>So let's make things better, create a better world, and try to understand the shenanigans that took place that created the whole basis for ethics.</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="color:#9900ff;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>We also explore Greek and Roman influence on us to this day. What do we do with this information? Understanding how we got where we are now and where we are now is the key. There are a lot of weirdness, differences, and change we need to look at.</strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Ethics 3 TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, everybody. Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay. Guess what? We're gonna continue on talking about ethics. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ethics and the origins of it. We're gonna break it down little by little baby steps. Oh my goodness. there is a lot of noise outside. Sorry. It's a hot hot day. We have to have the windows open.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're gonna hear screeching, screeching cars and birds and screeching birds. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And as soon as I said that the birds got quiet. Okay. So ethics where it came from. Well, the origins of it, we were starting to little baby steps, little bites, understand ethics, bringing it back to how it is affecting our friendships, how it is affecting our society, and basically ultimately our lives. So let's make things better. Let's make it a better world. Let's try to understand the shenanigans that took place that created the whole basis for ethics. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there you go. Yes. And if you'll remember, ethics is philosophical and it deals, it concerns itself with conduct in questions of good and evil in right and wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And. And these are, these can be very distinct things, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I like the definition I've found, which once again, I'll repeat, Ethical; derived from the Greek word ethos, which means character, and from the later word, Mores, M O R E S, which means customs. Together they combine to define how individuals choose to interact with one another. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there you go. So, yes. So in the previous episode we talked about boom, come. Yeah. Initially came down from God, whatever God was at the time, boom. Plato started to take us away from that. And then it started to evolve in the early Greek kind of traditions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Plato said this has nothing to do with the religion. This is something else, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? So if one of the 10 commandments I don't believe is right then it's not right. Mm. You know, cuz there are these universal truths that take us away from God, which then I guess diminishes God on some level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good job Plato. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So do you think ethics is really, uh, rooted in religions to keep people in line? So they're really rules made up by man. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You can make these arguments, but you start getting into dangerous ground because when you deal with faith versus the intellect you're dealing with logic versus emotion. And as we've talked about a billion times, emotion always trumps logic. So be very careful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So wait, which one is emotion? If you have religious based on religion </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because religious is emotion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> E </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I thought faith would be emotion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Faith is religion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Faith is not religion to me. Faith is like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> my own faith is religion to a lot of people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Again, we, we, well, maybe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's because I don't follow a particular religion. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So we need to step lively. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. So, basically, after Plato, we got the Epicuren and Epicureans, as it turns out are not these people who enjoy food as they are now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so what were they? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> These were people who pursued pleasure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">okay. Mm-hmm which sounds an awful lot, like a hedonist, right. Which is like pleasure at all costs. And that's something we'll talk about later, probably. But the Epicuren, they pursued pleasure, but, unfortunately, or fortunately the ultimate form of pleasure to an Epicuren is a tranquility of spirit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and that's what gives them the most. That's what gives somebody the ultimate, theoretically, the ultimate amount of pleasure. It's not having sex for 27 hours or whatever, you know,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's not eating Tiramisu </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> all day every day. no it, as it turns out. And, and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so what is it again? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They pursue pleasure. So it's the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but what is their, um, sense of pleasure again?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What was it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the highest sense is actually the tranquility of spirit, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the tranquility of spirit. Yes. Isn't that what we really all need and all want, basically. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And again, there's other traditions. The Buddhist would talk about that very differently.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But that is what an Epicuren does and also but what also holds to that as well is, it's not about I get ahead at your expense because an Epicuren theoretically, and again, this is all, you know, we don't have an Epicuren in front of us, so we can't talk about it. But, an Epicuren would say that if I can only get ahead by doing something bad to you. I'll dwell on doing something bad to you, which will hinder my tranquility. So again, you know, I am pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. So in order to avoid pain, if I hurt you, I'm not avoiding it. I'm actually bringing in more pain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm-hmm so it's kind of a weird thing, but yeah, so you have the Epicuren and then you have the stoic and, and stoic is actually one of these terms that still works today. And stoic is a lot like me, a stoic is somebody who can astute or cast aside emotion in favor of logic and reason. And that's the definition today of a stoic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So they're not really moved by emotional arguments. So a stoic, pursues wisdom and knowledge, and that's what they do. And that is their mode quote, unquote, their mode of ethics, their pursuing, truth basically; what they believe is truth. Most interesting thing about the Stoics back in ancient Greek days is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They held that all people can do this and yes, they can. Everybody can, pursue wisdom and knowledge. And so guess what? This has interesting ramifications for Greek society because a slave is the equal of a citizen, which is interesting. The stoic are the ones who started giving us this sense of all men are equal mm-hmm , which is a fascinating thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It takes us away from, you know, you're only equal if you're born into the same faith as me, you're only, you know, all men are equal, so that's fascinating are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> all humans are equal </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and there you go. Yes. I know I was using men in that. Yeah. I was using it in the universal term, but you are absolutely right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is all people </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> human. Yeah. All.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So again, very, very interesting, point of view. And then going back to the Epicuren pursuing pleasure, tranquility, uh, Epicuren gave us now, which is probably the most popular and easily understood version of ethics. they gave us utilitarianism and utilitarianism is greatest good, greatest number. And then we can, now we can start playing ethical dilemma, but it, it's kind of nice having a philosophy like utilitarianism that can be summed up that way. Greatest, good, greatest number, or, you know, you're quantifying the pleasure and the pain, and you're not necessarily avoiding the pain, but you're making sure that that pain number is less than that pleasure number.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So if that could bring people, I would say men, in this case at war, men, It gives them the freedom in their psyche to say, okay, well, if I killed this many people, it's okay cuz it's for the greater good. Right, exactly. That's terrible. Mm. So that is again, a rule made up by man. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. You know, you take a look at something like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a, and it's a very limited myopic way of thinking about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm sure there are other ways. Well, yeah, cause it always have to be, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and indeed there are, but it, this one that way succinctly in a sentence it's hard to, I mean, you can tease it, you can tear it out, but it's easily understood. Not for me. Greatest </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">good. Greatest number. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, it's not, that's not so easily understood for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, I don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hence the ethical dilemmas and hence the splitting of hairs. Okay. So, you know, ethical dilemma, number one. So two countries are at war. And in this case it was more than two, but America and Japan were at war. Okay, fine. And the war it's in 1945, America has the atom bomb.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do we drop it? Do we not drop it? Okay. If we drop it, it is beyond horrific. It is a terrible thing. It's civilians, it's women, it's children. It's millions of people with one bomb. If we don't, it's millions of Americans and Japanese soldiers fighting over every inch of Japan. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Again, that's a very male kind of archetypal arche, typical mm-hmm male perspective.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As in that's the only way to resolve the situation. No, there's always another way. So I would say that was evil unethical. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And again, we get into welcome back to good and evil killing is wrong. Yeah. That's a pretty simple one. Right? Right. That's that's real simple. Killing is evil. If you choose good and evil being the ethical viewpoint and then right and wrong is what is it in the moment we do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's easy to say killing is wrong. It's it's a little harder to say if we don't do this horrific thing, then this will happen. I E um, but that thought is evil. America will have to invade Japan. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That thought is evil. Yes. And I think that our society has always been, uh, guided by that man perspective of like throwing down the hammer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's how we have raised children is if you don't do this, this bad thing is gonna happen to you. There are consequences, whereas there's always a way to figure it out without bringing in that idea of, okay, I'm going to punish you and it's gonna hurt, but in the long run, it's good for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, I think there's another way. I think that's an out, it should be an out moded way of thinking and living. And that is why I think there should be a different form of consciousness and a different, a different way to guide society, to have our society be. It doesn't have to be that way. I think we're all lulled into thinking that that is the way, that is the only option we have is to drop the hammer like that in pursuit of something better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And we're told that to make us feel better, like, okay, we're gonna have to do this in the long run. It will work out for the best. No. It's evil. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. And exactly. But again, once you start getting into ethics, you deal with these kind of constructed situations and you're offered an a or B choice and life is simple like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then you can discuss why you make these choices and how they tie to your ethics. You, you, you go into an ethics class. Oh my God. They love talking about Nazis. Cuz Nazis are literally, uh, history is now scapegoat of the ultimate evil. Well, it. It's not a scapegoat. What they did was an absolutely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> horrific, that's saying terrible thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You sound like you're empathetic towards the Nazis. And I know you're not. So I don't like the way you just phrase that as a Jewish person, especially that I am. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And you're in an ethics class. They love throwing the Nazis around </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and, you know, and we should because we shouldn't forget. And that was it's one of the most current ones aside from Rwanda.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, like there there's constantly at atrocities mm-hmm that have happened even in ever, even after world war II. Even of course, after the, the Nazis it's, it's always happening. I just wanted to make clear that you don't empathize with Nazis. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. No, absolutely. Absolutely clear. And again, I didn't like the wording you used.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a weird world where we yeah. Have to go out for a way to say these things, but anyways, we're in a weird </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> world right now. We are in a weird world. Things have to be made absolutely clear right. In our communication. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, and you're, you're absolutely right. So again, we have now utilitarianism, however, I forgot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We gotta spin back that place that's near and dear to our heart, which is Nicomachean ethics. Yay. And Nicomachean ethics from Aristotle is teaching us, kind of a moderate path, more than anything else. It's not about ultimate pleasure, ultimate pain. It's about finding a place in the middle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's about moderation in all things. If you wanted to summon up in acute little pithy sentence, the same way I summed up utilitarianism, I ironically moderation in all ways and all things means actually moderation in moderation. So sometimes you gotta go for it, but not most of the time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I, it's a tough thing to be human.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not so easy. Right. And, and we make our own rules really because we are free individuals. Mm-hmm no matter what we all have the, uh, the choice. Free will. Right. We have that. We do mm-hmm so, you know, again, we can go back into what is truly bad. What is truly good? We don't know. We don't know, but we do know what hurts another person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We do know what hurts another living thing. Right. We do know what hurts and what doesn't. And we do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> know ultimately what makes us as an individual happy versus makes us unhappy. Which again, starts taking us into, uh, an Epicurean point of view, pursuing pleasure, because I'm going to avoid things that make me feel bad.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And that's one thing "Days of Our Lives" has taught me, oh, dear. I'm addicted to this soap opera ever since I was a kid, I stayed home from school one day with the flu. And that has sucked me in never since childhood. Now, our kids are sucked into it too, because of me, but looking at a show like a soap opera, like that, you look at all the pain that is caused by the ethical dilemma, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It is caused by not telling the truth, hiding something. Really, those are the main things. Right. And hurting someone, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> whereas killing someone again, an Epicuren would say, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I, I now I'm, I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> an Epicuren I need to, I need to suck it up. I need to tell somebody because I'm gonna feel worse. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> If I don't just, just to avoid all that pain, I'm never going to lie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I will always communicate and not hurt. Not hurt anybody if I can. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> what if I say, is this a nice hat? And you think it's God awful, ugly. What do you say? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't say it's God awful. I'm like good for you. Who cares about my opinion? So what do you think of my hat? What do you care </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> about? My opinion? I'm saying ethical dilemma.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You start splitting things smaller and smaller and smaller. Is it enough to, you know, I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Very, very rarely have I said to someone that's ugly. unless I'm mad at you. I'm like, by the way, that is ugly. Does stress make me look fat? No, . But it's it doesn't, uh, suit you perhaps, you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm so hurt. You need to tailor it. no, I'm serious. like, if you look at the Kim Kardashians, if you look at the beautiful curvy women, well, Kim is sometimes not curvy, but I don't know if these girls are starving themselves. It's ridiculous. A human, a human woman is curvy. Hello? You're supposed to have breasts and hips.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hello. But anyway, to, to make you to make yourself look like a pre-pubescent boy as a woman, there is something pedophelic pedaphelicly wrong with that. What is that? It it's just don't get me started. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I didn't get you started on it. And yet here we are. You did you, did. You did. Oh, does this make me look fat?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's all it took. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> she splits off folks. Yes. Because you know, what is that? What is that? That we are so obsessed by curvs. Does it make me look fat? And so for me to answer that question, would I tell you that it's like, no, I wouldn't answer it the way you think I would. but I would say it needs to be tailored.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm just saying, when you look at curvy actresses, mm-hmm they look good if they wore off the rack, what you're wearing. They would look not so great. but if they tailor it, which they do, they look phenomenal. Right. I, okay. Okay. Fine. If you wear a t-shirt off the rack. Yeah. It's frumpy. I always wear t-shirts </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> off the rack and that's oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh God. Now I look frumpy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so there you go. That's how I answer that ethical dilemma </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right there. Fair enough. Okay, so let's continue on. Shall we on our little history lesson? Okay. And unfortunately, now we have to talk about what was once a tiny little sub subsect if you will, of Judaism known as Christianity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh dear. Oh dear O dear O. Dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm biting my lip. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There you go. Now again, this was a tiny little fanatical, yeah, almost cult if you will, at one point it was what, because there was only like 12 people involved. 13 people involved, Christians, Christians, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Christianity. Right, right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Now what the Christians gave us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">cause if you start looking at this historical code of Harabi the 10 commandments, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> uh, wait, can you go back and explain the The Code of Hammurabi </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> again, this was the initial, how do you spell that? The Code of Hammurabi yeah, well, again, it's a Babylonian word, so I can only spell it the way the English </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> people do. Okay. Can you say it slowly?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The Code of Hammurabi okay. Got it. And this was the original kind of laws that were passed down in Babylon way, way, way back when Babylon is of course, Iran, Iraq, um, The Tigris–Euphrates river, or we're talking real early civilization anyways, and then you've got Moses' 10 commandments. And then what the, what the, what this little Christian cults gave us was,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">they give us the freedom of the letter of the law and into its spirit. Cuz all of a sudden it's like, you know, you do right by by JC you're. Okay. and JC of course Jesus Christ. But you do right by him and you're okay. Which is interesting. Uh, it's interesting, but they took us away from the letter of the law to the spirit of the law.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this is why you know, certainly, as I think perhaps it should be, but it allows for some compassion inside of laws and it, it gives kind of the rise of like the judge who's gonna then, interpret all the circumstances of what it is. I mean, it could be that you're guilty of stealing bread and in exchange or in yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In the Japanese tradition, you get accused of stealing a smell. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What?!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You, this was a famous case. Um, Judge Oooka O O O K a is how it is. It is, uh, somebody brought a trial to him where this guy was living above a fish shop and he would eat his rice when the guy was cooking the fish and he could smell it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the rice tasted a little better. And so this guy was like, no, you gotta pay me for that. what, and is this for real man? Yeah, this is for real. This is one of those like wisdom of Solomon type stories. So, you know, this is, this is the wise judge, and this is the role of a judge. And he said, you are absolutely right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You should be paid </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And he was like, clink your money. Uh, and he did. And he. That is your payment. The smell of Phish is paid for by the sound of money. Oh, okay. Again, this is what led us. And unfortunately I went with a Japanese example just because it's so poetic. And I like that story so much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was gonna say, it's so messed up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">poetic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It, it is poetic and that was the whole point, but again, it allows for a judge to rule on something that says, yes, what you did was wrong, but this is, this is your punishment for it, right. It, it, it's not gonna be, it's gonna be in proportion to the, effrontery of the sin.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Mm-hmm as it were. So that was interest. So what that brought us to is kind of now this conflict, cuz you've got these Greeks and these Romans cuz the Greek and Roman kind of empires were kind of foremost, I guess in the quote unquote Western world. And you've got Christian ethics kind of butting heads and the Greeks and Romans, they prized independence,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">self-reliance magnanimity. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mag, mag </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> magnanimity, which is kind of this grandiose, like I'm going to help you. And I'm going to be because of my wisdom and, you know, whatever and worldly success.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">These are the things they pro they, they prized the most, whereas the Christians. Christians. They, um, they, they prized meekness, obedience, patience, and resignation. Hmm. So a Christian to be humble is best. Whereas a Greek would say, but I'm awesome. I need to recognize my awesomeness. I need to embrace my awesomeness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Which isn't, which is a complete difference. Right. And I. Certainly the Western world is still kind of grappling with where we stand between those two things. It also seems </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> very male and female to me, yin yang, like one is soft and one is very ego and like I'm more muscle and I'm better, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> which is ironic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cuz uh, yeah, nobody would necessarily accuse Christianity being particularly a feminine. I'm just saying, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> if you forget they're labels, it seems very male. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Female mm-hmm no, no, no. And I, I have a hard time arguing that, but. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Which is interesting, cuz they've obviously like have transformed into other things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, like Christians now are, well, I'm gonna say something terrible. It's it's too much of a blanket statement, but I'm just thinking about the fundamental Christians who are running the country in the United States. It's not very feminine and it's not particularly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> humble. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No is downright egotistical, but that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is the, the Greek influence on us to this day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The Greek and Roman influence on us to this day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know. I think it's just like morphed into some crazy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and again. Yes. And we'll talk about that in, in, later in a future </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ethical episode </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in later episode, ethical dilemma, but, uh, it, it, I, I did find it, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know what? We could have a whole podcast, like every day, every week, just on the ethical dilemma, but we're just gonna do a few.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we have a couple minutes. What else, what else you've got to say?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's most of what I wanna kinda handle inside </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> of this. So what do we do with this information? What do we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> do with it? It's it's, it's more about just we're we're trying to understand how we, how we got where we are now and where we are now is, there's a lot of weirdness difference and change.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's, it's one of these things and, and it's one of these things actually Christianity went through because, as it turned out, and something they don't necessarily teach is that literally like the initial disciples of JC, they all thought that the end of the world was coming right now. What do you mean right now?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like literally in their lifetimes, in their lifetime, in their lifetimes, which kind of really tweaks. How you behave. It's, it's one of those things, like if you knew you were going to, you only had one day left to live, well, how would you live differently? And that's what they did. Cuz they believed that the world would be ending in 20, within 20 years, 20, 30 years.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Really? Yes. So they gave away everything. What made them think that way? JC said I'm coming for you. I'm coming back for you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So they took that as like, Ooh, I'm dead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is I'm coming for you soon. Ooh. Like I'm coming for you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like I'm coming to get you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like before you pass from this world, I will have come for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> does that mean? Like they obviously knew they did something wrong. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, not necessarily because they were gonna be ascending into, you know, Nirvana, heaven, whatever you wanna call it. So, but, but no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but dictate, like I'm trying to ask you is, do you think they thought, oh. I'm gonna get my butt handed to me or I'm coming for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm gonna make your life better. I'm coming again to like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm gonna make your life better actually. But it also meant that that any suffering you had in this world would be transitory, transient as far as for the rest of eternity. Right? So all of a sudden you have. The, the rich disciples, giving away everything they owned, you had, you know, the poor disciples, embarking on various pilgrimages to spread the word and let everybody know that, stuff was coming down and, and this is what it was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and it was incredibly selfless </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">in that regard. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So is this, they went through their own. What's the Marie Kondo. What's what's that woman's name? Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> God. Does it bring you joy? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They Marie Kondoed everything well. Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because whatever, I don't know. I'm sure that the poor people around them were very appreciative of all the, all the stuff, all the food, all the, everything else they got.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And, and that leads us into, you know, you'll see a lot of selflessness in more, as you get more and more quote, unquote, fundamental Christian, it is stripped down, bare bones, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Christian, is it truly selflessness or are they just trying to do it because they're trying to get to a better place. And there </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, in this case, the better place was coming regardless of what they did. So like, well, why not do with the good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or like, maybe they were like, I just need to unload my stuff. but we're moving. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, I got too many books in the bookcase. We gotta get rid of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> some, are you putting stuff out on the curb saying for free, not out of the kindness of your heart, but because you gotta, cause you don't wanna </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> move it junk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">nice. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway, how does this come back to friendship? I'm a little bit lost right now. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> know. Hopefully it'll all come together before it's all over. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> mean, this is why I don't like these conversations because it just doesn't make me feel hopeful about humanity. It doesn't, it scares me. I don't like these ethical conversations, but I think it is important to discuss mm-hmm because in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Allows for truth to come out. Like when we first met, we would go out for coffee and talk about the ethical dilemma. Yes. And I would say, I would never. And you're like, yeah, you would. And then you would break it down. I'm like, oh crap. Maybe I would, well, yeah, maybe I would do the unethical thing. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> remember it was always like, I would impose for Playboy for a million dollars.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like mm-hmm yeah. Yep. I know your price. Tag's a lot lower than that. When the rubber hits the road. Oh my God. When somebody's got the green backs in front of you, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's good to. That it's good to know for your own spirit. What you would, you, you are capable of anything. You never know. You have to put yourself in other, uh, people's shoes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to be empathetic. Yes, very much. So when, when someone else, when a friend out there does something wrong or UN unethical mm-hmm when you have that unethical friend, you can understand it better. You can't judge because guaranteed you'll probably be in a similar situation at some. And then that feeling is terrible, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, oh God, I'm here. I am. Right. But once you understand that, then I think we're able to make better decisions based on the unethical friends. Yes. Right. Anyway. And that's the whole point is to understand each other. And so therefore we're going through this minutia of what is ethical and what is not ethical and who knows and who made up these rules?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's all about really following love, but it gets more complicated, always when money comes into it and food comes into it and everything else that is wrapped up in society. And so that's why we're talking about this. That's why the art of friendship is so good to remember because once we remember the art of friendship, we know that, Hey, we're not in it alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not so black and white. There is always another option. There is always a way to figure something out and there's always a way to proceed with kindness and friendliness to achieve something for the greater good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Right. And of course the other part, other kind of key point for me is, you know, you never know what somebody's going through and you never know how your words will affect them for good and for bad.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So for, for the love of whatever, Leave people with good feelings and not bad ones for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the sake of love. Yeah. And you know, it happens. I mean, it's happening right now. There are friendships breaking. There are governments break, everything is breaking down, but it's a wonderful opportunity to begin anew and to think about truly other possibilities instead of the possibilities, instead of the ways we've done things before let's figure out</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">a whole other possibility, whole other solution. So with that in mind, keep that in mind and we'll talk to you in a few days. Please go to our friendly world podcast.com WW dot www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com. Please click on contact, reach out to me. That's my email and let us know. Do you wanna come on our show?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Would you like to talk about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> this? Am I wrong? We're all wrong. We're all right. Call me out. It's all good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. All is well. We love you so much. Take care. Be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well.</span></span></p>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ethics and the origins of it, understand ethics, bringing it back to how it is affecting our friendships, how it is affecting our society, and basically ultimately our lives. Ethics is philosophical and it deals, it concerns itself with conduct in questions of good and evil in right and wrong. 
The definition- Ethical; derived from the Greek word ethos, which means character, and from the word, Mores, which means customs. Together they combine to define how individuals choose to interact with one another.
So let's make things better, create a better world, and try to understand the shenanigans that took place that created the whole basis for ethics.
We also explore Greek and Roman influence on us to this day. What do we do with this information? Understanding how we got where we are now and where we are now is the key. There are a lot of weirdness, differences, and change we need to look at.
Ethics 3 TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. Welcome back. 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello 
[00:00:02] Fawn: okay. Guess what? We're gonna continue on talking about ethics. 
[00:00:06] Matt: Oh dear 
[00:00:06] Fawn: ethics and the origins of it. We're gonna break it down little by little baby steps. Oh my goodness. there is a lot of noise outside. Sorry. It's a hot hot day. We have to have the windows open.
You're gonna hear screeching, screeching cars and birds and screeching birds. 
[00:00:27] Matt: Exactly. 
[00:00:28] Fawn: And as soon as I said that the birds got quiet. Okay. So ethics where it came from. Well, the origins of it, we were starting to little baby steps, little bites, understand ethics, bringing it back to how it is affecting our friendships, how it is affecting our society,...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1226405/podcast-art.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:31:14</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Ethics  and the world of Good and Evil, and Right and Wrong]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Aug 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/ethics-and-the-world-of-good-and-evil-and-right-and-wrong</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/ethics-and-the-world-of-good-and-evil-and-right-and-wrong</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Ethics is that weird branch of philosophy that concerns itself with conduct and questions of good and evil and right and wrong. And those four words good and evil, and right and wrong sound like they should be like, oh yes, good is right. And evil is wrong, but there are always shades of gray in between. You can do an evil act in the cause of right. You can do a good act in the cause of wrong. Welcome to the weird world of ethics and how it touches our friendships.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">This episode explores how we can help each other, and how remembering the art of friendship can help you in the midst of the turmoil of ethics, evil, and kindness. </span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">How can you prevail with kindness and not have anything else come into your circle? And just have it be a kind happy world.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p>Ethics 2 TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hi, good morning. And good evening. Good afternoon. Good all. Good all. All is well. All is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So we gonna put our, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no matter what,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we're gonna put our college caps on today and talk about ethics. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we started a, we started a thing actually. We're letting you in on really the conversations we have in our kitchen, or when we go out for coffee.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Inevitably. It always turns into <strong>the ethical dilemma.</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I love, I love the game ethical dilemma, because very scary. You can split the hair and all of a sudden somebody's gonna do something god awful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it makes me when we play ethical dilemma, it makes me wanna flip the table over. I don't like it. I feel very depressed, but it's very interesting and it's very important to, get yourself thi...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Ethics is that weird branch of philosophy that concerns itself with conduct and questions of good and evil and right and wrong. And those four words good and evil, and right and wrong sound like they should be like, oh yes, good is right. And evil is wrong, but there are always shades of gray in between. You can do an evil act in the cause of right. You can do a good act in the cause of wrong. Welcome to the weird world of ethics and how it touches our friendships.
This episode explores how we can help each other, and how remembering the art of friendship can help you in the midst of the turmoil of ethics, evil, and kindness. 
How can you prevail with kindness and not have anything else come into your circle? And just have it be a kind happy world.
Ethics 2 TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello
[00:00:02] Fawn: hi, good morning. And good evening. Good afternoon. Good all. Good all. All is well. All is 
well. 
[00:00:12] Matt: So we gonna put our, 
[00:00:13] Fawn: no matter what,
[00:00:14] Matt: we're gonna put our college caps on today and talk about ethics. 
[00:00:16] Fawn: Yeah, 
we started a, we started a thing actually. We're letting you in on really the conversations we have in our kitchen, or when we go out for coffee.
Inevitably. It always turns into the ethical dilemma. 
[00:00:33] Matt: I love, I love the game ethical dilemma, because very scary. You can split the hair and all of a sudden somebody's gonna do something god awful. 
[00:00:41] Fawn: And it makes me when we play ethical dilemma, it makes me wanna flip the table over. I don't like it. I feel very depressed, but it's very interesting and it's very important to, get yourself thi...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Ethics  and the world of Good and Evil, and Right and Wrong]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">Ethics is that weird branch of philosophy that concerns itself with conduct and questions of good and evil and right and wrong. And those four words good and evil, and right and wrong sound like they should be like, oh yes, good is right. And evil is wrong, but there are always shades of gray in between. You can do an evil act in the cause of right. You can do a good act in the cause of wrong. Welcome to the weird world of ethics and how it touches our friendships.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">This episode explores how we can help each other, and how remembering the art of friendship can help you in the midst of the turmoil of ethics, evil, and kindness. </span></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong><span style="font-size:small;">How can you prevail with kindness and not have anything else come into your circle? And just have it be a kind happy world.</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p>Ethics 2 TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back everybody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hi, good morning. And good evening. Good afternoon. Good all. Good all. All is well. All is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So we gonna put our, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no matter what,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we're gonna put our college caps on today and talk about ethics. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we started a, we started a thing actually. We're letting you in on really the conversations we have in our kitchen, or when we go out for coffee.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Inevitably. It always turns into <strong>the ethical dilemma.</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I love, I love the game ethical dilemma, because very scary. You can split the hair and all of a sudden somebody's gonna do something god awful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it makes me when we play ethical dilemma, it makes me wanna flip the table over. I don't like it. I feel very depressed, but it's very interesting and it's very important to, get yourself thinking in, in a way it allows you to step into someone else's shoes. Yes. So we did a couple episodes very briefly on ethics and we want to do a whole series. You actually studied ethics. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I took a class in ethics in college, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not a class, but like a whole semester. Like you studied ethics, right? Well, yes. So we talked about how I looked up the word ethical and it was, we learned it was derived from the Greek word ethos, which means character.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it also comes from the Latin ward, Mores M O R E S, which basically means customs. And interestingly enough, when you put those together, they combine to define how individuals choose to interact with one another. So very in sync with our our friendly world here. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And let's not forget about, uh, where we draw our inspiration for friendship from, and that's, Aristotles, everything is Greek Nicomachean Ethics Greece.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But anyways, yes, ethics is that weird branch of philosophy that concerns itself with conduct and questions of good and evil and right and wrong. And those four words good and evil, and right and wrong sound like they should be like, oh yes, good is right. And evil is wrong, but there's always shades of gray in between.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Always. Yeah. There's no good. There's no bad. First of all. So how do you maneuver? I don't know about that. Well, we talked about this. Is it good? I don't know. Is it bad? I don't know. You never know. You never know how the road, where it takes you. You don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> know. Well, see, you're you're, you're talking about good and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not talking about good and evil, is it evil or good? Oh, different. And, and that's the difference. It, you can do an evil act in the cause of right. You can do a good act in the cause of wrong. Gotcha. Welcome to the weird world of ethics. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. So what's considered evil?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. That's and what is considered evil and actually, uh, and we're gonna be talking about this strictly, sadly on many levels from kind of a Western, perspective, because it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's it's well defined and it's well understood. So it makes it easier. And that's certainly what I studied was the Western tradition. So we're gonna stay away sadly, unfortunately, from all the other </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">traditions</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> today, today, maybe we'll get into that later </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and it is possible. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, we should, we should totally get into it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's less familiar. So it's, it's very tricky. That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what, that's why we need to bring expert friends to talk about those aspects truth. But I'm curious when you started. You don't, I guess you don't remember cuz it was a while ago, but I often wonder what the very first class was like, if you had a great professor, was it a good professor?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a good professor and I'm sure not see professor professors. It was a La Maestra actually it was a female, uh, professor. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, fantastic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But anyways, yes. And, and this was in, in Santa Cruz and of course this was in hippy dippy, Santa </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cruz, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hippie college hippie university. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But anyways, from a historical perspective, you can almost see the beginnings of ethics coming, being basically laid down by God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Told please. No, I'm serious. No, this is the interpretation of the, The Code of Hammurabi, was passed down by, uh, Babylonian God, the 10 commandments were passed down by God, in the old Testament to Moses. And there's even a legend that has Zeus giving. Um, Basically something similar to, uh, a code of conduct, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a code of con to the Greeks, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So are they pretty much the same? Like the 10 commandments and all these other things. Everybody </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> says The Code of Hammurabi and the 10 commandments are almost carbon copies of each other. I'm not gonna get into that, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> which is older? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, Code of Hammurabi </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> really? Yes. Older than Moses. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Wow. Well, think about what, think about it, Moses.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">God. Okay. So you had the Egyptian empire that had enslaved the Jews mm-hmm and Moses led them away. Babylon. Around Iraq was around a lot, a lot older than that. I believe so. Yes. Um, and actually, yeah, and that takes us into folklore a whole bunch of other fun things, but I don't, I don't wanna go there either.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">But what's interesting is, this code of ethics kind of supersedes everything, because it's passed down by God. How do you argue with God? That's very painful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I argue with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">God all the time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, hold on. And then later on, getting into, yes, indeed the ancient Greek tradition. I know, I know. I said Zeus passed down a code of ethics as well but you have Plato coming in and saying, uh, he actually started really challenging that. And he talked about, there is a transcendent good and evil that is separated from religion. And so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what does that mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, he's saying that certain things are good and certain things are, are, are evil. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like what do you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">when is evil? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly stealing stealings. Stealing's a real easy one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So all artists who are like you go through that book, everyone's reading steal, like an artist mm-hmm like, that's what artists should do. That's evil? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Although I think they were talking not so much stealing ideas, but stealing like physical things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So steal has gotten, uh, maybe a bigger context, but when </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we played ethical dilemma, we got into stealing and you said, well, to feed a family, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's still, it's still evil. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's still evil. It's still evil to, to save someone's life. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean, do I pick your terms and definitions here? Good and evil right and wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And these are distinct words. Is it right to steal, to feed my family? If that's the only way I can make that happen, it is right. But it's also evil. Now you can choose the other, other set of words and you can say it's good to steal, to feel my family, but it is wrong because of course it's against law, et cetera, et cetera, cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But it's also one of these transcendent good and evil things according to Plato. And then people started to get people started to get twisted and try and figure out where things come from and they try and understand kind of a pre societal man, where did ethics really come from? And the only way we can look at, uh, not prehistoric, but even pre pre prehistoric is to look at animals and how animals choose to arrange themselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I know animals don't kill for fun and people kill for fun. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So that's very interesting. Right? And you're also, you also look at things like, um, baboons, like the strong male baboons will protect the weaker women and children when they're fleeing from an enemy. There have been documented cases of dolphins.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If dolphin a is sick, dolphin B will swim underneath him and push him up to the surface so he can breathe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you've also got again and, you know, we're dealing with what are considered the more intelligent animals, because then they, they, they tend to arrange themselves in societies. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All animals are intelligent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All life is intelligent. If we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> take a look at an ant colony, it's not the same. It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is They are supremely intelligent. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, ma but you have a queen who bosses around </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> everybody. That's the way it should be enough with the patriarchy anyway, with the bees. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The ants, the bees, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I was gonna get to my next point about the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> get things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Go on about the monkeys, where like they will, you know, they'll help each other out by like picking out parasites, you know, like, you know, right. Groom me and I'll groom you. And they've actually studied and they've determined that, selfishness generally gets punished in these, societies. And so everybody's working for the good of every.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And another thing they've determined is typically the typical behavior. And, and I think the dolphin is a very atypical behavior by the way, as far as this goes, but a very typical behavior is, the amount of effort that it requires to help somebody out versus the reward you get when they do a solid for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, it's, it's either proportional or it's heavily weighed in the favor of you get so much more than you give. Because you're just spending five minutes picking parasites outta somebody who cares, but by the same token, when they do that for you, it's like, oh my God, I don't have these parasites leeching my blood, et cetera, cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's, it becomes, a very limited, a very small kind of engagement for a big reward. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? Well, it's always the small things that make such a big difference. Someone can just give you a smile. Mm-hmm that will completely soothe you. Someone could just utter a sound when you're telling them something that happened that is troubling you, that you're trying to figure out one sound from that person can be a healing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. And it's enough for you for whatever happened to you to be deleted out of your spirit. Right? Right. Absolutely. But, and it also works the other way around, right? One, one evil glare, one evil word, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> mess you up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> forever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Possibly possibly. Yes. So then continuing down the thought of, again, keeping it strictly into an animal world and trying to figure out where our ethics come from, then they also noted kin bias, which means that I'm going to sacrifice myself for my children.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like the jelly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> fish. Was it the jellyfish? Well, I think it's no, the octopus. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think it's a lot of animals will protect their, their offspring in order. Uh, even if it means like bad </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stuff for them. But remember we saw that movie about the octopus, my friend, the octopus, what was it called? It was like "My Teacher the Octopus", my teacher.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was an Oscar winner. And it was about, he, he, he just followed this octopus around the lifespan and he noted. The society worked and how the friendship worked. And when the octopus finally got to a stage of having children, what the octopus goes through, basically when you do, you, you give all of your life force mm-hmm to your, your children, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the octopus dies. Right. Sorry to, to ruin the movie for you, but it's like total selfess behavior. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But in as much as man is the social animal and man is, oh, the only animal that uses tools, which of course is a fallacy, such </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a fallacy it's so stupid. But anyways, to say men </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in taking a look at, um, you know, how we, how kind of build ourselves together as a society, because ethics is basically, it's almost like you can see ethics on some level is this is how we can all live together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">These are the rules. These are the common rules that we're all going to adopt so that we can all live together and prosper as a group. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt are ethics, manmade rules, or is it like a spiritual </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> rule? And that's just, it Plato believed they were transcended. So it was, and it was not divine. It was not part of a religion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was a something else. It was a universal truth. Whereas you would've asked Moses and Moses would say it it's divine. It comes from God. So yeah, that's the fun </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> part. Right? So what's the difference between what Plato said and what Moses would say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Plato divorced himself from, from religion. I like that. You know, I like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All of a sudden now you don't have an interpreter. You don't have a, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a middle man, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a wise man, a,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a middle man,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a pastor, a, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a middle man, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Imam, a anything else? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Middle man</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> interpreting what is good and evil. Thank </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you. That's what I was saying in a previous episode is like enough with these voices, you know, in your heart, you have all that information.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? So explain to me again, what Plato said. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Plato believed that, good and evil transcends everything that they're universal. True. There, there is universal actions that are good and universal actions that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> are, that are evil. And how, how did he come to the point of saying, okay, well, this is how you figure out what is evil, what is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, I don't think that he necessarily came to a good point, cuz he just put out that statement. He put out that statement and he put out and dropped the mic, his beliefs because let's not forget in ancient Greece. there was a lot of slavery going on. There was a lot of subjugation of women. There was a lot of, there was a lot of, a lot of what's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was, he was merely saying that there are universal mm-hmm truths. Mm-hmm you know, and he, and he was, he, you know, defined some, but, you know, he, uh, I think a lot of his thoughts would, we would consider them just ridiculous now, you know, that's all. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, all right. Can you give me an example, an example of, I don't know, like the whole evil thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It, it can, I mean, you can be a lawyer about it and break it down. I think the act of evil, I think there's only one act of evil. No, maybe there's two. I think if, if you hurt someone else's life, it is evil. Especially when, you know, it's hurting that person. That is evil. You can unconsciously do something and it's still an evil act, but once you become aware of it and you still do it, if the person tells you, or if you hear that this is hurting someone's life force mm-hmm , I think that's evil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So back to the stealing bread example, The only way you can feed your family is to steal bread. The baker will be adversely affected by you stealing the bread. He will make less money. He will be less able to provide for his family. Is the action good or evil? Aha. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ethical dilemma. Well, what if you ask the baker for help </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and what if he says I can't do it because screw you</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's evil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The baker is acting evil. Sure. But if you try </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">your best, but the baker says, you know, I, I, I'm sorry, I can't help you. I can't hire you. I can't give you bread because I need all this just for my family. And, and, and that happens to be a true statement. Cuz that's one of those things you can't necessarily identify in the moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think there's always a way I think if you seek it, there's always a way to help and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that's the kind heart and that's, and that's your kind empathic heart. Sometimes there isn't. You know, that's the whole point of ethical dilemma is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> getting that point of, but that's when you turn to friends, that's by friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, other people that can be friendly. that's when the baker can say, look, everybody, I need </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> some help. Yes. But that takes us away. We're no, we're no longer talking about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ethics. Now. It is a, it is about ethics. I'm just saying that instead of saying no and hurting the other person, you're hurting the life force of the person who is starving, what the baker can do is look okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, I'm not able. To maybe give this bread. Maybe he, he can't, maybe he truly cannot, but he can turn to other people like in Italy, there's that you buy two cups of coffee if you're buying one for someone who needs it, who doesn't have the money, do you know what I'm saying? You turn to friendship, you turn to the village and you come together and you can always make something work together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is true. But. The rest of society's unwilling to do that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's evil. Ah, okay. Then, because they're not willing to, I think you can, because we all have different expertise. If it's not bread, someone can say, you know what? I know how to, um, find seeds and plants from the forest that will feed you. And it's better than having carbs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There you go. do you know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, and trust me, I completely get it. And you're in the process now of defining your own school of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ethics. Well, yeah, my own school of ethics is our friendly world. And I'm saying, Hey, this is what I think is happening. I think this is one way to look at it is if we come together, we can help each other out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's the art of friendship. You're not in it by yourself. The baker is not alone. You're baking for a village there there's guaranteed someone who can figure something. Or together we can figure something out to help the ones that have no food. Just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like yes. Just like the baboons. Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So let's, let's ethics is a huge deal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is. So let's just stop it here </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for today. Let's stop it here. We will be talking more about stoic and Epicuren and. The, the Christian philosophies and, and we'll, we'll, we'll circle back certainly then to back to the Nicomachean why </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is it always the Christian? What, you know, we definitely need to get all the other beliefs and traditions involved once we're done talking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're your perspective as a, are you a wasp? What are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you white? Anglo-Saxon Protestant? Yes. Is that where you're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I suppose. Oh my goodness. Okay. You know what I'm saying, though? We definitely should get the whole picture eventually as time goes on. But for today, let's talk about how we can help each other, how remembering the art of friendship can help you in the midst of the turmoil of ethics, evil and kindness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">How can you prevail with the kindness and not have anything else come into your circle? And just have it be a kind happy world. All right. Yes, boss. All right, love you guys. Thank you for listening. Go to our friendly world podcast.com. Reach out to us. Give us your thoughts. If you wanna come on our show, let us know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. Just go to the contact button. It'll emails me differently. We'll talk to you soon. We love you so much. Take care. Be well.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/d859f0a0-0b98-449c-b884-cd3ea636ff0a/Ethics-2.mp3" length="19497880"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Ethics is that weird branch of philosophy that concerns itself with conduct and questions of good and evil and right and wrong. And those four words good and evil, and right and wrong sound like they should be like, oh yes, good is right. And evil is wrong, but there are always shades of gray in between. You can do an evil act in the cause of right. You can do a good act in the cause of wrong. Welcome to the weird world of ethics and how it touches our friendships.
This episode explores how we can help each other, and how remembering the art of friendship can help you in the midst of the turmoil of ethics, evil, and kindness. 
How can you prevail with kindness and not have anything else come into your circle? And just have it be a kind happy world.
Ethics 2 TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello
[00:00:02] Fawn: hi, good morning. And good evening. Good afternoon. Good all. Good all. All is well. All is 
well. 
[00:00:12] Matt: So we gonna put our, 
[00:00:13] Fawn: no matter what,
[00:00:14] Matt: we're gonna put our college caps on today and talk about ethics. 
[00:00:16] Fawn: Yeah, 
we started a, we started a thing actually. We're letting you in on really the conversations we have in our kitchen, or when we go out for coffee.
Inevitably. It always turns into the ethical dilemma. 
[00:00:33] Matt: I love, I love the game ethical dilemma, because very scary. You can split the hair and all of a sudden somebody's gonna do something god awful. 
[00:00:41] Fawn: And it makes me when we play ethical dilemma, it makes me wanna flip the table over. I don't like it. I feel very depressed, but it's very interesting and it's very important to, get yourself thi...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1226400/podcast-art.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:20:18</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Ethical Dilemma]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Aug 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-ethical-dilemma</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-ethical-dilemma</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>In philosophy, ethical dilemmas, also called ethical paradoxes or moral dilemmas, are situations in which an agent stands under two conflicting moral requirements, none of which overrides the other. A closely related definition characterizes ethical dilemmas as situations in which every available choice is wrong.</p>
<p>We explore ethics and friendship and how ethics have shaped our society.</p>
<p><strong>Connect with Fawn and Matt:</strong><br />Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/<br />Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast<br />Twitter: https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe<br />LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/<br />Website: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/<br /><br /><br />Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1529286185?mt=2&amp;ls=1">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1529286185?mt=2&amp;ls=1</a></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In philosophy, ethical dilemmas, also called ethical paradoxes or moral dilemmas, are situations in which an agent stands under two conflicting moral requirements, none of which overrides the other. A closely related definition characterizes ethical dilemmas as situations in which every available choice is wrong.
We explore ethics and friendship and how ethics have shaped our society.
Connect with Fawn and Matt:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/FriendleeBeLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/Website: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1529286185?mt=2&ls=1]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Ethical Dilemma]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>In philosophy, ethical dilemmas, also called ethical paradoxes or moral dilemmas, are situations in which an agent stands under two conflicting moral requirements, none of which overrides the other. A closely related definition characterizes ethical dilemmas as situations in which every available choice is wrong.</p>
<p>We explore ethics and friendship and how ethics have shaped our society.</p>
<p><strong>Connect with Fawn and Matt:</strong><br />Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/<br />Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast<br />Twitter: https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe<br />LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/<br />Website: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/<br /><br /><br />Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1529286185?mt=2&amp;ls=1">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1529286185?mt=2&amp;ls=1</a></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/c8e1a5ca-1431-41ab-9309-baebfa7f18b9/The-Ethical-Friend.mp3" length="31115902"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In philosophy, ethical dilemmas, also called ethical paradoxes or moral dilemmas, are situations in which an agent stands under two conflicting moral requirements, none of which overrides the other. A closely related definition characterizes ethical dilemmas as situations in which every available choice is wrong.
We explore ethics and friendship and how ethics have shaped our society.
Connect with Fawn and Matt:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/FriendleeBeLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/Website: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1529286185?mt=2&ls=1]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1211726/Ethical-Dilemma.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:32:24</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The True Meaning of 'Martyr' and how it Affects Our Relationships]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Aug 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-true-meaning-of-39martyr39-and-how-it-affects-our-relationships</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-true-meaning-of-39martyr39-and-how-it-affects-our-relationships</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"><strong>Fawn and Matt get into the etymology of the word MARTYR and figure out what it means within our various relationships within our culture and society.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"><strong>Martyr the original sense of it, which means feeling torn between two conflicting impulses. We explore that sense of conflict within our relationships: work friend vs your own private life friend.<br /><br />Can you truly be friends with someone that you work with within a total corporate environment? For example, another example of that without being corporate would be, that most cops are not friends with normal citizens.<br /><br /> And then now that we have the world in so much upheaval, we have politics coming into it. Can we be friends with someone who is so politically agitated or so politically distraught or not even distraught, but just so political, as opposed to back in the day, we used just to be friends with everyone.<br /><br />There is the religious friend as opposed to the friend who is not of a particular religion. because there's that division and it very much centers around core beliefs.<br /><br /> Another conflicting impulse would be people of the opposite sex. Can men and women truly be friends? And what if you're not of a particular identity? What if you're in a relationship as opposed to being single? Can people who are single truly be friends with someone who is in a committed relationship or a marriage? <br /><br />Can people who have children truly be friends completely with people who don't have children? When we became parents, this was such <br /><br /> When you're dealing with such polarized sensitivities in our culture, right now, it is an issue. It is an issue because people have different sensibilities for different situations and you can't always gel, especially when the world seems like everything is a trigger. At the root of feeling and being a martyr is the feeling of being torn between two conflicting impulses. What's the whole idea of a martyr and how are we being martyrs these days within our relationships, within our society? How can we transform out of this state?<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript - Martyr</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back. Are you guys there? Hello? Hello. Happy every day, no matter what's going on in the world, guys,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> are we recording</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> faith? We are recording now. Hi everybody. Welcome. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome. Welcome. Welcome back. Good every day, no matter what, let's keep the faith. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> interesting choice </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">o...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt get into the etymology of the word MARTYR and figure out what it means within our various relationships within our culture and society.
Martyr the original sense of it, which means feeling torn between two conflicting impulses. We explore that sense of conflict within our relationships: work friend vs your own private life friend.Can you truly be friends with someone that you work with within a total corporate environment? For example, another example of that without being corporate would be, that most cops are not friends with normal citizens. And then now that we have the world in so much upheaval, we have politics coming into it. Can we be friends with someone who is so politically agitated or so politically distraught or not even distraught, but just so political, as opposed to back in the day, we used just to be friends with everyone.There is the religious friend as opposed to the friend who is not of a particular religion. because there's that division and it very much centers around core beliefs. Another conflicting impulse would be people of the opposite sex. Can men and women truly be friends? And what if you're not of a particular identity? What if you're in a relationship as opposed to being single? Can people who are single truly be friends with someone who is in a committed relationship or a marriage? Can people who have children truly be friends completely with people who don't have children? When we became parents, this was such  When you're dealing with such polarized sensitivities in our culture, right now, it is an issue. It is an issue because people have different sensibilities for different situations and you can't always gel, especially when the world seems like everything is a trigger. At the root of feeling and being a martyr is the feeling of being torn between two conflicting impulses. What's the whole idea of a martyr and how are we being martyrs these days within our relationships, within our society? How can we transform out of this state?
Transcript - Martyr
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back. Are you guys there? Hello? Hello. Happy every day, no matter what's going on in the world, guys,
[00:00:08] Matt: are we recording
[00:00:09] Fawn: faith? We are recording now. Hi everybody. Welcome. 
[00:00:12] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:13] Fawn: Welcome. Welcome. Welcome back. Good every day, no matter what, let's keep the faith. Um, 
[00:00:21] Matt: interesting choice 
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                    <![CDATA[The True Meaning of 'Martyr' and how it Affects Our Relationships]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"><strong>Fawn and Matt get into the etymology of the word MARTYR and figure out what it means within our various relationships within our culture and society.</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:medium;"><strong>Martyr the original sense of it, which means feeling torn between two conflicting impulses. We explore that sense of conflict within our relationships: work friend vs your own private life friend.<br /><br />Can you truly be friends with someone that you work with within a total corporate environment? For example, another example of that without being corporate would be, that most cops are not friends with normal citizens.<br /><br /> And then now that we have the world in so much upheaval, we have politics coming into it. Can we be friends with someone who is so politically agitated or so politically distraught or not even distraught, but just so political, as opposed to back in the day, we used just to be friends with everyone.<br /><br />There is the religious friend as opposed to the friend who is not of a particular religion. because there's that division and it very much centers around core beliefs.<br /><br /> Another conflicting impulse would be people of the opposite sex. Can men and women truly be friends? And what if you're not of a particular identity? What if you're in a relationship as opposed to being single? Can people who are single truly be friends with someone who is in a committed relationship or a marriage? <br /><br />Can people who have children truly be friends completely with people who don't have children? When we became parents, this was such <br /><br /> When you're dealing with such polarized sensitivities in our culture, right now, it is an issue. It is an issue because people have different sensibilities for different situations and you can't always gel, especially when the world seems like everything is a trigger. At the root of feeling and being a martyr is the feeling of being torn between two conflicting impulses. What's the whole idea of a martyr and how are we being martyrs these days within our relationships, within our society? How can we transform out of this state?<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript - Martyr</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back. Are you guys there? Hello? Hello. Happy every day, no matter what's going on in the world, guys,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> are we recording</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> faith? We are recording now. Hi everybody. Welcome. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome. Welcome. Welcome back. Good every day, no matter what, let's keep the faith. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> interesting choice </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of words, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I guess. So.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh. Matt and I were fighting again, you know, we always fight, we get into tifs. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What?! </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Don't look so shocked as in like, we never fight</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm sweetness and light</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> mm-hmm anyway. And I was so mad at you. this happened a few times with a few fights. I said, don't be such a martyr. I'm like, and as I was saying it, I realized I really don't even know what that means really but it just felt good to say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, um, and then oddly enough, I was Sitting in the academy, I'm in this academy for children's picture book authors, and the word martyr came up. I'm like, here we go</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for children's books?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Uh, we talk about everything. Yeah. Like we have the deepest, most rich conversations about stories in general and communication.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's really fascinating. And there's a reason why I'm completely addicted to children's picture books is because they are so deep. You can have hour long, many hours, long conversations about a picture book that is 32 pages meant for a toddler , but, uh, they're really deep. So anyway, then I looked it up myself because as we were talking about the word martyr, our teacher said martyr doesn't mean what you think it means.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she told us the meaning. So here we go. She told us the meaning, which is martyr actually means witness. And then I looked further into it. I'm like, oh really? Cause I mean, that was just a few second thing of our hour long talk mm-hmm but I got stuck on that word. Right. And so I looked it up myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Martyr is an ancient Greek legal term of witness. For someone who gives testimony or evidence in a court of law, that's a martyr. So it originally comes from way back in the face of Roman persecutions of early Christians in the first three centuries of the common era when Christians believers were put on trial, For refusing to participate in their state religious activities, which were regarded as a civic duty, that was forced on all Roman citizens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Then the word changed after that and had a different meaning. So basically the reason why I'm talking about this, going back to the original meaning of martyr. Mm. and then we're gonna get into like how martyr the name changed because it goes from basically you're in a court of law and you have to go against what you personally need.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You go against your personal pains in pursuit of helping the public, right? So there's a divide it's between the personal and the public, and then it gets into religion later. And you, you can probably talk about that, cuz I think you, I had you think about martyr and where it came from and everything, but then here we go, religion came into it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When I was looking for the definition, I found this article that was published exactly a week after September 11th. So to be exact, it was published September 17, 2001 by Jim Kane (see article here: https://cmsw.mit.edu/reconstructions/definitions/martyr.html , who back then was an assistant professor of literature at MIT and taught comparative media studies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He broke down what martyr is with Christianity and also with the Muslim religion. We're gonna briefly touch on that . Right, right, Matt. Yeah. But. The reason why I wanna talk about this is truly it's about feeling torn between two conflicting impulses.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause really the whole martyr martyrdom<strong> the whole idea of the martyr thing is because I wanna get back to the original sense of it, which means feeling torn between two conflicting impulses. </strong>And I wanna talk about that within our relationships. So you have a work life friend and you have your own private life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's that separation. Can you truly be friends with someone that you work with in a total corporate environment? Like for example, another example of that without being corporate would be, most cops are not friends with normal citizens. Is that right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Yeah. There is this weird because there's a fundamental, you don't know what we go through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And then now that we have the world in so much upheaval, we have politics coming into it. So can you be friends with someone who is so politically agitated or so politically distraught or, or not even distraught, but just like so political, as opposed to back in the day, we used just to be friends with everyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it was easier to be friends with someone of a completely different political, viewpoint I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">get. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is absolutely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> true. You know, then you have<strong> the religious friend as opposed to the friend who is more, not, not of a particular religion.</strong> And this is something I've noticed lately, too. Someone finds out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not the same religion as they are, even though you're totally open to all religions and you come from a place of love, they will, they will drop you. because, there's that division for them. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think it very much centers around core beliefs, right? Like, you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It doesn't at all though?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I've always talked about the layers of the onion and if the core of my onion, I am a born again, Christian, and that is something I express and that is something part of my life. I don't want to have parts of my life that aren't gonna help me support that core fundamental belief and in, in, in some ways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think a lot of people don't appreciate even being questioned, let alone challenged about things that are at the center of their onion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, like all these different things that I'm bringing up. I mean, begs for a really deep conversation. Another conflicting impulse would be people of the opposite sex. Can men and women truly be friends?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And what if you're not of a particular identity, you know, having all these different identities, can you truly can our society at the moment being so polarized, I guess that's a word for it. I can't think of a word for it. It just seems like there's such division and that sense of, again, that the conflicting impulse is like really rampant in every area of life right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. So people of different identities, can you truly, you know, how does that relationship work? How does that friendship work these days? And then what if you're in a relationship as opposed to being single? Can people who are single truly be friends with someone who is in a committed relationship or a marriage? It's different, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can people who have children truly be friends completely with people who don't have children? When we became parents, this was such an idiotic thought to even entertain, like, what are you talking about? Of course. But again, when you're dealing with such polarized sensitivities in our culture, right now, it is an issue.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is an issue because people have different sensibilities for different situations and you can't always gel, especially when the world seems like everything is a trigger. everything is a problem. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm, like, everything is an issue. Whereas like I came from feeling like nothing's really an issue, man, because the issue is I love you the issue and it's not an issue.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I'm saying? Right. My, my thing is I don't really. That's not a deal breaker for me. Mm-hmm I love people of different backgrounds. I love people who live completely different than I do, but when they start harassing me or looking down at me because I'm not them, I'm not like them, then that's a deal breaker for me. Right. Whereas I'm open to, a a circle that is rich with many ideas,. I wanna be well rounded. So that's what I wanted to talk about today is feeling torn between two conflicting impulses and the whole idea of what a martyr is and how are we being martyrs these days within our relationships, within our society. What do you think, Matt? Wow, let's start from, let's go back to the beginning of this article that was written by Jim.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Who like did such a beautiful job of explaining where the term originated, which was from ancient Greek, the ancient, Greek legal term, right. Just means witness. Right. And so, should I read the article or do you wanna explain what the article was? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It, it it's basically saying, I mean, it's the legal term, but then it gradually transmogrified into this sense of what are you willing to do instead of bearing witness? And so, like, it was really messed up back in the day because they were, they really went gunning for Christians because Christianity was illegal. And so you would be invited over to somebody's house and just as part of like taking your shoes off and whatever they would, you know, there would be a little altered to some Roman God and they would expect you to, I guess, um, What is it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, do a little ceremony, in the same way maybe there's the ritual washing feet when you go to temple or whatever it is. And if you didn't do it, then they'd be like, he's probably a Christian. Let's go, let's go put him in court. And I'm not kidding. They would do this. Right. And so if they suspected you of anything, they would again, invite you to the house and watch you perform the ceremony or not. And if you didn't then yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And think about all the ways that, that same thing, ritual, whatever it is, has repeated itself throughout history throughout our society. You know, I just thought about like, what happens with, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the one who started blacklisting people in the United. If </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they, McCarthy McCarthy was responsible for blacklist. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So in the American history, McCarthy was responsible for any, like he really went after artists and he went after everyone basically. And if they thought that you were of like anything related to like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Any, I don't know. What, how do you even describe it? It was beyond communism, like they were, so they such fear was placed in to the society that if they thought that you were not like them, your entire life was destroyed and people committed suicide because of it. Right? Lots of artists in the movie industry free thinkers writers, a lot of people, a lot of lives were ruined because they were pointed at and basically said you are not one of us. Mm-hmm however way they decided to, label one of us, like whatever that meant. Right. It could have been the way you were breathing that day. Oh, you're not one of us. You're out. and it destroyed people's lives and so how is that happening now?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I feel like that all that is happening rampantly. Isn't it? Why are you looking at me? I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> am looking at it's it's oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> my God. Here we go. There's here's our </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> fight because there's, there's so many fragments now in society, you know, I can remember when the president of a company I was working at did an all hands on deck call and he said to everybody, Just get the vaccine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and there was people that I worked with who were like, oh yes, conspiracies and, and the whole bit, you know, the far right, the far left the center, it doesn't matter. Everybody has their own kind of vaccination thing, you know, is there microchips in there, et cetera, et cetera. And for him to come out and say that, I mean, that was a little gutsy and weird. And, you know, I thought it was an uncomfortable thing because it was taking again a personal decision and trying to mandate it again, creating in the larger scheme of the word a martyr, you know, somebody who's willing to put their own personal and religious beliefs above the political and legal, or in this case, you know, workplace related.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, they didn't check up on us or anything, but still it was a weird, random thing for him to say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that's just one example. I wonder, I wonder if you go way back, not way back, but if you go way forward in the future, what they truly will realize about the time that we're living in right now, what is happening?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, we're gonna have a conversation with a friend of ours next week. Because he had an epiphany and he didn't tell me what it was, but mark, I cannot wait for, not on, not on the show though. Not on the show, but we'll tell you what our friend mark has realized because he has had an epiphany and things make sense to him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now I'm like really? How and what are you thinking? I cannot wait because our last fight, by the way, between me and Matt was that I broke down everything that was bothering me in our society and he kind of had more of a Pollyanna, you know, a very, like, everything's gonna be fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everything's fine. It's just the, the pendulum swings this way and that way everything's gonna work out. I'm like, but really? No, no mm-hmm cause I was so upset. I needed to commiserate. I needed someone to commiserate with me. Is that the word? How do you say that? Anyway, can you help me out? What's that word?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Commiserate with misery. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thanks, honey. I just needed to, to, I needed to not complain about it forever, but it was in me and I needed to expel it by just putting words to it and then letting it go. But it led into a fight and then you are like, that's it. Now you've convinced me. The world is terrible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's no hope for anything I'm done. And your whole posture, you just gave up, you were like, I give up everything. I'm like, no, no, no. And then you're like, what? Now you're gonna try to be positive? Too late. Anyway, we got into a big fight. And so anyway, hopefully we're back, right? We're back. We're back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're good. We, we just, I'm just saying it's important to take note of what is going on. You know, you can't have your partner be feeling at. Case in point I am female. I am not Caucasian. And so I'm experiencing things on a whole other level than my marriage partner is experiencing. Cuz he's white male, like totally different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have a completely different way of walking in the world. Do you know what I'm saying? You can be more carefree case in point when we go to the airport, you always thank God. I'm gonna actually knock on wood cuz I don't want you to go through what I go through. Knocking on wood. You have a much better time at the airport than I do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's very similar to how I feel like, I walk in life is like, it feels like things are easier for you. It's more manageable. Not that things are easier for you cuz I mean, you, you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, especially taking care of our family. I think it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a different kind of weight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's the thing that we all need to realize is everyone's going through their own stuff. And everybody has their own burdens that could be vastly different, even in the same families. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Pain is pain. You can't say my pain is greater than yours for sure. I totally agree. So anyway, that's that was our fight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So going back to martyrdom, how do you, so it went from basically being in court and going against what you personally think would benefit your life and testifying for something that would be of greater good. And so there was that conflict. That's where it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">began. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, honestly, I think it's the flip of what you just said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's it's me making the choice not to testify because my personal beliefs were higher than the state than what the state would have me do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Got it. Got? Yes, you're right. And then, so then that was, as time went on, that became like, you became a hero for doing that because you stuck up for your values with your faith rather.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What was supposed to be done, correct? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because you, you just chose was quote legal as according to the state, because of course, as we know, the state likes to do things like sanctioned slavery as they did in Roman </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> times. So you, you went with, you were with your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> personal and religious beliefs. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. You went with your personal spiritual beliefs rather than the beliefs of the.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Of the law of the land to the point of being killed by the state to the point of being killed. And then, so those people were considered heroes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> certainly by the people who believed the way they did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. So you were even like given like religious, um, badges or whatever. Well, honestly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> before the term martyr was actually a term, uh, so in, , let's call it old Testament times.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They would actually read out registers in temple of people who had been quote unquote martyred for their faith or in this case, because it was before martyr killed for their faith and they would read these names out in temple. So they would actually elevate to that whole </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">next level. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so speaking of elevate, as time went on, this whole thing became elevated.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So as the world started trading and you met people of different. And you were dealing with other countries, right? Other parts of the world, then it became Christian versus everybody else. So then you really died for your religion because you wanted everyone else to be Christian. Right. Isn't that what happened?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So then they became, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that is one of the, one of the starting points. And then it gets even more twisted because of course the French had fights between Protestants and Catholics, but you know, it just further. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So then became a, truly like a religious war. And this article was describing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that we tend to think of these days is that's where it came from once, you know, like it, it transformed into that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Right. Well, yeah. And, and a key kind of component to that sense of martyrdom we have now is the sense that, of persecution mm-hmm and the sense of, obviously your commitment to this higher purpose.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And so my commitment, my, I don't, I don't have a commit. , but what I'm saying is I just wanna look at what are the conflicting impulses and can we get over them? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Should we get over them? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, we should get over them. why shouldn't we, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's just an interesting thing. So putting aside my personal beliefs for the good of society, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, yeah. Like for example, well, well, I'm just saying that beliefs are just an illusion, because if you step into some other situation into someone else's shoes, your beliefs will be more fluid. You'll you'll have compassion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The answer to that. It depends because I can immediately something that got all my professors of philosophy, always liked to talk about was of course you bring up the Nazis, you know, and, and that's cuz the Nazis are literally the definition of ultimate evil, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wow. You really went to the other side. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So, you know, there are certain beliefs that, you know, you can't put aside, like I believe slavery is wrong, so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there are deal breakers. Okay, so yeah, you're right. There are, there are definitely deal breakers. Okay. However, I've seen so many deal breakers that were able to become transcendent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, um, remember that story we saw of the black man who became friends with a KKK member, they became friends. They stepped in each other's shoes and actually became friends. So it is possible. But I think to begin with, you know, not taking it to such extremes of bringing up Hitler and the KKK and all of that, let's, let's take baby steps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So one of the, one of the things, you know, like for example, the list that I made, like work life versus your personal life, how could we. How can, how can we bring the two together political strife, as opposed to the way we were before you could be friends with the opposite side and still have a fun relationship or fun, fun friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But now it's a deal breaker. If you voted for Trump, you know what I'm saying? Or the other way around, um, someone who I've had this happen the past year. People who realized I was not Christian. They didn't really wanna work with me anymore. Like on projects and stuff, you know, or, well, you know, again, the opposite sex, there's always some tension or someone's gonna get bent out of shape because your friend is of something opposite than you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, then sex comes into it because people are so in America, so obsessed with like sex, they're obsessed by it, and then they hide it, but then they have no problem showing violence and terrible things happening. That's okay? That's okay??? But God forbid you see a woman's breasts, you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, oh, but it's okay to show incredible violence. With crazy machine guns, blowing people up and having body parts splattered. That's okay to see, but oh God forbid you saw a nipple. Do you know what I'm saying? America is insane. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there's the soundbite </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> folks. Sorry. So, and then, you know, and you have the married people versus the single people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think, again, it's, it's layers of the onion and it's about, choosing how far into your onion you let people go and having an understanding that just because someone fundamentally disagrees with you on a point that you hold very dear, it doesn't have to be a deal breaker, you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And why does it have to be such. Me against this, you know, why has it become, so what's the word again? Why, why the such extreme polar opposite? Well, it's me against this. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's it's, it's manipulation by media. It's manipulation by, um, mostly media, honestly, but, um, you know, making it we're so we're so polarized right now, in that I'm right. You are wrong. Not even, I'm mostly right. And you're mostly wrong. It's I'm right. You are wrong. It's very binary. It's very black and white now, which is ironic because that's how I saw the whole world until I was like 22, 23, 24, when I started to see shades of gray. And that's one of the reasons why I can be okay with it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, you know, my best friend for the longest time he was very moderate and I'm not very moderate. And so every once in a while, we'd, we'd start circling the horses and talking about whatever it was that we were talking about and it would get a little heated. And now one of my best friends is, uh, he's starting to feel more and more comfortable showing me how far removed from my, from my beliefs that he is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's, you know, the trick is we're being respectful of each other. And the trick is to maintain a sense of curiosity, not a sense of judgment. And that's a tricky thing. That's a hard thing. It's like when I start a new job, I don't want to go in and immediately start saying, wow, you do everything is wrong, cuz I'm just gonna get a brick wall and they're just gonna punch me in the nose and send me on my way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, and that'll be that and the same way that we see ending friendships, but of course, getting terminated from jobs is a very different experience. I'm being very careful. And so I'm making careful suggestions and I'm starting to get more and more passionate about the things that I'm doing. And as a matter of fact, you don't even know this, but I had a quick sit down with my boss on Friday just to say, Hey, am I pushing too hard?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Should I stop? Because I, I really enjoy being here and I wanna be here. And he told me rock on so I can continue, but it's, it's checking it. And I think you also, you need to check your friends too and make sure that you're not going too far. You're not, you know, you're not challenging them too much because people come to truth, not through words, but through experiences.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. That's a heavy thing. Herman Hesse said that. It's been said in many different ways, you don't understand something until you experience it. And, and in the same way that they always talk about, you know, an enlightenment doesn't happen because of a series of words, an enlightenment happens because of an experience or because of a meditation, which again is an experience.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">This is how we truly reach enlightenment. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> True. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, sometimes, even when it comes to you through someone's words, you still need to process it and make it yours. And so we can't have a discussion where I'm lobbying for the death penalty and you're lobbying against the death penalty.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And neither side is gonna say, you're right. Both sides are gonna have to disentangle ponder and come back to it. And, but the thing is, is we get so heated and so wanting to convince that our worldview is right, because it's our worldview. I mean, that's where we live and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's such a base level consciousness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's such a, it's such a low level way of thinking. It's about, it's like being stuck in that mode of like ownership. I wanna take this, I wanna have that. I'm entitled to this. I'm entitled to this belief. I'm entitled to have this, whereas like really, I, you said you have to check your friends to see, where they're coming from.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You really have to check yourself and we have to check ourselves. I have to check myself and think, am I really attached to this one belief? It's either my belief or some other belief. And I feel like for me, I am not going to fall in that trap of getting to that mode where everything is a belief system, where in fact, it's all an illusion that you can't be attached to things. Ideas are things. You can't be attached to anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you wanna flow and bend with the wind and not break, not have your heart break, not have your life so broken, not have our relationships, our friendships broken; don't hold onto any particular belief, just like, you know, let's, I wanna be more like, I've never surfed in my life, but I always use the surfing analogy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I just wanna go with the waves, you know, and ride it as opposed to being swallowed up. I don't want to be attached to anything, any belief, any physical object to own at this? I just think our, our way out of this such polarity is to not be so attached. You always describe having an empty jacket in martial arts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> When you're fighting with someone, you know, let them have the jacket and you're walking away, they're still fighting, but it's an empty jacket. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, my wife wants to become a Buddha. And this is actually a great segue because aside from of course, the Buddhist monks who light themselves on fire to protest war, a traditional Buddhist martyr is someone who understands in a future life because there's a circle of, of life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you, you get reborn into a higher, lower phase. It's very Dharmic. They will postpone their enlightenment or their transition to their next phase in order to help others. That's a Buddhist martyr, which is fascinating. But now back to you, freedom from attachment is a wonderful concept.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Absolutely. But it's an impossibility because if I just go with the flow, then by all means imprison me by all means be an alt-right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> See, you had to take it there. I said baby </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">steps. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Ethics does. That's what philosophy wants us to do a philosophy wants us to be able to philosophy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> like that will keep us stuck.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just saying the baby </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> steps. I'm saying the core onion. There's a, there's, there's a core onion to me. So we're screwed. No, no, hold on. And as long as we can both agree that slavery is a terrible thing, as long as we can agree on probably there's probably about a hundred other things in there that I can't think of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But see, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're saying we have to agree by the way. I do agree. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And that's just it. I can be friends with you if you have a different view on, uh, you know what the second amendment means. I can be friends with you. That's not sitting so tight in that, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're taking it to the extreme. I'm just trying to start this process going for turning our society a little bit more friendly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">By just taking baby steps, right? Yeah. I'm not gonna be friends with Hitler. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> see, there you go. You're no longer a Buddha. I'm sorry, babe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I had never said I was a Buddha. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You said freedom from complete </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">freedom from attachment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I did not say complete. I just said I I'm trying to for myself, not be so attached to the material and not get so triggered.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The other day I was driving the kids to the dentist and I saw a car, two cars in totally different neighborhoods that definitely had like signs on them that were scary. And I got triggered. Right. You know, and it's so funny because our, our pediatric dentist who's like to me, like a total Buddha, like I love him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was like, you know what? You're never gonna not see that. You're always gonna see something that is opposite from you. That will trigger you. You're always gonna see it. So, you know, and I don't remember what he said after that, but the feeling I got was, yeah, you're right. It's always gonna be there, but am I gonna let it affect my circle?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Anyway, baby step, I kind of wanna close the show off here. Right? Take </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the question. Try not to hold so much attachment if you're discussing something, try</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> isn't that what I said? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, absolutely. But it's not in all things. It's on this thing you're discussing. Keep it light. Ask questions, be curious. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I'm just saying don't get sucked.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't into the pit. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Don't expect the other. Side of the table to have any amount of enlightenment as far as what your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> position is, but see, that's another attachment right there to expect the other side to agree with you or to come around said, don't did you okay? don't expect anything from anyone else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not going to expect anything from anyone else from now on. I'm not gonna expect someone to be a certain kind of friend. You know what I'm saying? I'm just gonna keep going my own Merry way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Focus on the common ground probe, maybe a little bit, but not with a huge amount of intention. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Probe is a nasty word.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is. Isn't it. It's gross. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Didn't Ford have a car called the probe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't, I don't know. just stop. All right. All right. So let that be a thought for a few days until we talk to you in the next few days. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Love you so much. Thank you again for listening. Go to our website, get your free copy of the Ikigai of Friendship workbook. Reach out to us. Talk to us. If you wanna come on our show, reach out to me, just go to contact on www dot our friendly world podcast. What is our, what is our, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> our friendly world </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> podcast.com. Is it. Yeah, it's www.our friendlyworldpodcast.com. Uh, go to contact, click on that. I'll get I'll. I'll, I'll have a conversation with you if you wanna come on our show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if there's something you wanna talk about something you wanna get off your chest, let us know, love you. Talk to you in a few days. Be well, bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt get into the etymology of the word MARTYR and figure out what it means within our various relationships within our culture and society.
Martyr the original sense of it, which means feeling torn between two conflicting impulses. We explore that sense of conflict within our relationships: work friend vs your own private life friend.Can you truly be friends with someone that you work with within a total corporate environment? For example, another example of that without being corporate would be, that most cops are not friends with normal citizens. And then now that we have the world in so much upheaval, we have politics coming into it. Can we be friends with someone who is so politically agitated or so politically distraught or not even distraught, but just so political, as opposed to back in the day, we used just to be friends with everyone.There is the religious friend as opposed to the friend who is not of a particular religion. because there's that division and it very much centers around core beliefs. Another conflicting impulse would be people of the opposite sex. Can men and women truly be friends? And what if you're not of a particular identity? What if you're in a relationship as opposed to being single? Can people who are single truly be friends with someone who is in a committed relationship or a marriage? Can people who have children truly be friends completely with people who don't have children? When we became parents, this was such  When you're dealing with such polarized sensitivities in our culture, right now, it is an issue. It is an issue because people have different sensibilities for different situations and you can't always gel, especially when the world seems like everything is a trigger. At the root of feeling and being a martyr is the feeling of being torn between two conflicting impulses. What's the whole idea of a martyr and how are we being martyrs these days within our relationships, within our society? How can we transform out of this state?
Transcript - Martyr
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back. Are you guys there? Hello? Hello. Happy every day, no matter what's going on in the world, guys,
[00:00:08] Matt: are we recording
[00:00:09] Fawn: faith? We are recording now. Hi everybody. Welcome. 
[00:00:12] Matt: Hello. 
[00:00:13] Fawn: Welcome. Welcome. Welcome back. Good every day, no matter what, let's keep the faith. Um, 
[00:00:21] Matt: interesting choice 
o...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:35:46</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Respect vs Kindness - The difference between the two and how to use both in friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Jul 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
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                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/respect-vs-kindness-the-difference-between-the-two-and-how-to-use-both-in-friendship</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/respect-vs-kindness-the-difference-between-the-two-and-how-to-use-both-in-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p style="margin-top:0.17in;margin-bottom:0.18in;" align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Understanding what kindness actually is, as opposed to respect, means learning how we can use both of these things. And when we can use both of these things in our relationships. The word respect comes from the middle English from Latin respectus which means to look at, to regard. from R E, which means back. And then to that, you add S P E C E R E, which means to look at, so to look back on. <br /><br />The definition of respect is a relation or reference to a particular thing or a situation and an act of giving particular attention, consideration, like high or special regard, esteem, the quality or state of being esteemed; a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important or held in high esteem or regard. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. <br /><br />Is respect earned or given? Respect is earned, not given suggests that if you want to be respected, you cannot force people to respect you just because you want them to. We aren't obliged to love or respect anyone just because they exist. It's like, You have to go through a series of things to, in a way earn that respect. Whereas kindness is not about earning it. Sometimes you have to be kind to the most hideous person, the most hideous acting person because that's what they need, because we all know that hurt people hurt. People that are in pain want to inflict pain on others. That's all they know. And maybe that's their way of being understood and being heard; when you feel my pain is when you're gonna feel what I'm going through. You will understand me better. It's really messed up, but I think that is unfortunately the way of things in our society.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.17in;margin-bottom:0.18in;" align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> Let's really look at where it actually stems from this whole disrespect thing really starts the way we are raised as babies, the way that as soon as we're born, we have to be put into daycare the way that we just have to fend for ourselves the way we're told you're out by 18, 18, you're out, you better make your own money. You better be out of here. It's saying that you don't belong to the family, that you have to get the heck out. And I understand having a sense of responsibility and becoming independent, but that's a different issue from saying you need to get out.<br /><br /> It's disrespectful. And we do it with the elders too. We, we put them in daycare. They're no longer part of the family. They're no longer under the same roof for different reasons. One is, you know, because the, the respect from generation to generation is not really considered, and there's no kindness in there, but there's really no respect.<br /><br /> And so, yeah, even when we're not dealing with elders, we barely want to hang out during Thanksgiving. We can barely hang out at a kitchen table these days, because we are so split even more than ever before with our politics, with our right as human beings, as my right, as a woman, totally trampled on by your father.<br /><br /> It's just, there's no listening. There's no understanding. There is no compassion or empathy for something that you may not be experiencing in your own life. And so what I was trying to tell my friend was what gets me mad is these people who have no respect and have no, they have no empathy until they experience the pain for themselves. That's the only time that they may consider another point of view is when theirs their life is. So put on the extreme for them to fully be immersed in what they thought they were against for them to understand it. Whereas you have to realize you don't have to live a certain way to understand someone.<br /><br /> It takes empathy. It takes listening. It takes hearing the other person out. It t...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Understanding what kindness actually is, as opposed to respect, means learning how we can use both of these things. And when we can use both of these things in our relationships. The word respect comes from the middle English from Latin respectus which means to look at, to regard. from R E, which means back. And then to that, you add S P E C E R E, which means to look at, so to look back on. The definition of respect is a relation or reference to a particular thing or a situation and an act of giving particular attention, consideration, like high or special regard, esteem, the quality or state of being esteemed; a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important or held in high esteem or regard. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. Is respect earned or given? Respect is earned, not given suggests that if you want to be respected, you cannot force people to respect you just because you want them to. We aren't obliged to love or respect anyone just because they exist. It's like, You have to go through a series of things to, in a way earn that respect. Whereas kindness is not about earning it. Sometimes you have to be kind to the most hideous person, the most hideous acting person because that's what they need, because we all know that hurt people hurt. People that are in pain want to inflict pain on others. That's all they know. And maybe that's their way of being understood and being heard; when you feel my pain is when you're gonna feel what I'm going through. You will understand me better. It's really messed up, but I think that is unfortunately the way of things in our society.
 Let's really look at where it actually stems from this whole disrespect thing really starts the way we are raised as babies, the way that as soon as we're born, we have to be put into daycare the way that we just have to fend for ourselves the way we're told you're out by 18, 18, you're out, you better make your own money. You better be out of here. It's saying that you don't belong to the family, that you have to get the heck out. And I understand having a sense of responsibility and becoming independent, but that's a different issue from saying you need to get out. It's disrespectful. And we do it with the elders too. We, we put them in daycare. They're no longer part of the family. They're no longer under the same roof for different reasons. One is, you know, because the, the respect from generation to generation is not really considered, and there's no kindness in there, but there's really no respect. And so, yeah, even when we're not dealing with elders, we barely want to hang out during Thanksgiving. We can barely hang out at a kitchen table these days, because we are so split even more than ever before with our politics, with our right as human beings, as my right, as a woman, totally trampled on by your father. It's just, there's no listening. There's no understanding. There is no compassion or empathy for something that you may not be experiencing in your own life. And so what I was trying to tell my friend was what gets me mad is these people who have no respect and have no, they have no empathy until they experience the pain for themselves. That's the only time that they may consider another point of view is when theirs their life is. So put on the extreme for them to fully be immersed in what they thought they were against for them to understand it. Whereas you have to realize you don't have to live a certain way to understand someone. It takes empathy. It takes listening. It takes hearing the other person out. It t...]]>
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                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Respect vs Kindness - The difference between the two and how to use both in friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p style="margin-top:0.17in;margin-bottom:0.18in;" align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Understanding what kindness actually is, as opposed to respect, means learning how we can use both of these things. And when we can use both of these things in our relationships. The word respect comes from the middle English from Latin respectus which means to look at, to regard. from R E, which means back. And then to that, you add S P E C E R E, which means to look at, so to look back on. <br /><br />The definition of respect is a relation or reference to a particular thing or a situation and an act of giving particular attention, consideration, like high or special regard, esteem, the quality or state of being esteemed; a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important or held in high esteem or regard. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. <br /><br />Is respect earned or given? Respect is earned, not given suggests that if you want to be respected, you cannot force people to respect you just because you want them to. We aren't obliged to love or respect anyone just because they exist. It's like, You have to go through a series of things to, in a way earn that respect. Whereas kindness is not about earning it. Sometimes you have to be kind to the most hideous person, the most hideous acting person because that's what they need, because we all know that hurt people hurt. People that are in pain want to inflict pain on others. That's all they know. And maybe that's their way of being understood and being heard; when you feel my pain is when you're gonna feel what I'm going through. You will understand me better. It's really messed up, but I think that is unfortunately the way of things in our society.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.17in;margin-bottom:0.18in;" align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> Let's really look at where it actually stems from this whole disrespect thing really starts the way we are raised as babies, the way that as soon as we're born, we have to be put into daycare the way that we just have to fend for ourselves the way we're told you're out by 18, 18, you're out, you better make your own money. You better be out of here. It's saying that you don't belong to the family, that you have to get the heck out. And I understand having a sense of responsibility and becoming independent, but that's a different issue from saying you need to get out.<br /><br /> It's disrespectful. And we do it with the elders too. We, we put them in daycare. They're no longer part of the family. They're no longer under the same roof for different reasons. One is, you know, because the, the respect from generation to generation is not really considered, and there's no kindness in there, but there's really no respect.<br /><br /> And so, yeah, even when we're not dealing with elders, we barely want to hang out during Thanksgiving. We can barely hang out at a kitchen table these days, because we are so split even more than ever before with our politics, with our right as human beings, as my right, as a woman, totally trampled on by your father.<br /><br /> It's just, there's no listening. There's no understanding. There is no compassion or empathy for something that you may not be experiencing in your own life. And so what I was trying to tell my friend was what gets me mad is these people who have no respect and have no, they have no empathy until they experience the pain for themselves. That's the only time that they may consider another point of view is when theirs their life is. So put on the extreme for them to fully be immersed in what they thought they were against for them to understand it. Whereas you have to realize you don't have to live a certain way to understand someone.<br /><br /> It takes empathy. It takes listening. It takes hearing the other person out. It takes you removing yourself from the conversation and just hearing someone or seeing someone truly for who they are without you, not you listening, but for, without them putting themselves on the person, trying to further explain that they are right. Because "My way is best."<strong><br /><br /> <span style="font-size:large;"><u>There are four forms of respect:</u></span><br /><br /> Michael Moffa, wrote this explanation for recruiter.com.<br /><br />1) TOLERANCE - putting up with what someone else wants, needs hopes for, or expects in the form of forbearance from actions against them.<br /><br /><br />2) ADMIRATION - expressed or felt esteem for and encouragement of another's traits, states, behaviors, et cetera. So you have to admire the person to respect them.<br /></strong></span></span><br /><br /></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.17in;" align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><strong>3) DEFERENCE- Submissive attitudes, behaviors, and expressions as indicators or acceptance of claimed or sought the superior status of another.</strong></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0.17in;" align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><em><br /></em><strong>4) ACKNOWLEDGEMENT -<span style="font-size:small;">recognition of the positive value of the existence of another or his or her endeavors, traits, aptitudes achievements, et cetera, with no overtones or reluctance of the sort that tolerance, quote unquote tolerance suggests a simple nod of like quote-unquote, hi, tip of the hat or vague smile can easily accomplish this.</span> </strong></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.17in;" align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><em><br /></em>The etymology of kindness, the word kindness harks back to the old English, kindness, which me, which meant nation.<br /><br /> The thing about kindness is that it's not about earning it. Sometimes you have to be kind to the most hideous person, the most hideous acting person because that's what they need because we all know that hurt people hurt. People that are in pain wanna inflict pain on others. That's all they know. And maybe that's their way of being understood and being heard; when you feel my pain is when you're gonna feel what I'm going through. You will understand me better. It's really messed up, but I think that is unfortunately the way of things in our society.<br /><br /> Society deserves you to be kind to the most hated person.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.17in;" align="left"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0.17in;" align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Respect vs Kindness - Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Imagine a quiet, beautiful morning, the kind of morning where you step outside and you can taste the fragrance from the trees and the flowers you can taste the dew from all the greenery that may be around. And sometimes it's not around. Cause we live around a lot of concrete.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But there is that delicious scent in the air super early in the morning. That's when people are kinder. People are, everything is a little bit quiet and cheerful. The birds are chirping.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So yesterday 6:30 in the morning, I go outside with my half watermelon ready to compost it. I had eaten it. We had eaten it and I was actually really chipper. I was excited to go for a walk and to see the world outside.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And as soon as I had took the last steps down the stairs, I saw one of my enemies </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> D'oh!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> In instant, I went from Happy, like Fawn in the forest feel to, I think I said every horrible word you never wanna say about a person. It all came outta my mouth. Like I was whispering it. I was so angry. My whole chemistry changed. You know, just because we talk about the art of friendship doesn't mean I'm not human and that there are people out there I don't wanna see that used to be friends at some point. They disappointed, severely us, our family, they hurt us and that happens, your heart gets broken </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> by people. So what I'm trying to say is today's episode is about respect and kindness. And I had a, literally, literally a. Four and a half conversation with one of our dear dear friends, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> four and a half hour conversation?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What'd I say?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Four and a half </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> conversation, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">four and a half hour conversation. because I had to explain that there is a difference between kindness and respect. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I had to, I had to prove it. They're like what? It's the same thing. I'm like, oh no, no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">no, it's not. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, no, no, absolutely not. There are certain, professions where.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want professionalism and respect and I don't want kindness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm gonna get into that. Bear with me because I'm going to get into the meaning of both, and then we're gonna start the conversation because it's really good. You know, it's like when a kid asks you, like, what is this? Or what's the meaning of this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you can't explain it because deep down you really aren't fully well versed in what it actually means. do you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think so. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like Einstein said, you really don't know anything about a subject if you can't explain it to a child, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is he the one who said that? Wow,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think so.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's strong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know for a fact who said it, but it's true. right. So I'm like, you know what, so that, I think that's why it took four hours or, well, we discussed other things mm-hmm but I had to keep reframing it to try to get my intuitive feeling of what respect is versus what kindness is. So it leads back to, I mean, it really starts with what's been going on with me and people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, people's apologies to me. I had in, in the space of like, in the span of one week, I had two older cocky, older, Caucasian men, probably Republican, totally leash out on. Is that the term leash out on me. They like vent. They like, for no reason, I was there punching back because I was, I mean, from my perspective, the only non-white person and, you know, they couldn't do that with anyone else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I was the target that they felt like they couldn't misuse cuz it's acceptable. And just by my presence they realized it was wrong and they tried to apologize, but it was in the form of an apologia. Go back to our episode. Do we explain this. The episode is called "Apologia" which is, it's really not an apology.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a defense of why you said or did what you did. So you're not apologizing. You're reaffirming why you did what you did, but you know, it was wrong. Well, I don't know if Socrates thought it was wrong, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Socrates sure as heck didn't</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I I know, but it's still like it's like you do something really messed up and your apology is:</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm sorry you felt that way. That, that kind of thing. And then you further explain why you were in the right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, I just, my eyes are downcast and I'm feeling very quiet </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">right now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, because this is our big fight between us as a couple. Like, this is how we fight all the time. It's because Matt doesn't apologize.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Apologize. It's an apologia. Anyway. I'm digressing. So what happened was I came down the stairs and I saw the enemy and in a split second, my entire chemistry changed and my entire outlook on the world changed. I went to the compost. I put the watermelon in there totally saying the most messed up words, imaginable things that I don't even like to describe other women with, like these words.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I did cuz it felt good. I was that angry. Then you met me there cuz you were locking the door. So you, you were like a few seconds behind me. And so you didn't see who I saw. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I did not. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what happened was I was just standing in the parking lot and you're like, which way do you wanna walk? I'm like, I don't even know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't even wanna do go anywhere. Like nothing looks good to me. And you pointed in that direction, I'm like, no, that's where she was going. And you said, well, how about over here? I'm like, no, basically you, you, you gave all the four directions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I was being very sweet. I thought. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. You were always sweetened light.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, but in that moment I happened to have been </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay. So what happened was I went from feeling so excited about going out into the world to, I don't care. I don't wanna go out in it. I don't wanna be a part of this. nothing excites me. We almost got into a fight cuz we were like, well, which way do you wanna go?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like leave me alone. I'm I'm not happy right now. Don't mess with me. And so I just started walking in one direction and you followed me. And then this new cat walked up to me. it's like, and this cat, and this is where the kindness comes in. This cat in a split second, took me from the most foul minded head space I was in to immediately: "oh, love you." the love came back in an instant because of the kindness that this cat was giving me. It was amazing. And I recognized the whole difference again, in, in the body chemistry and my thoughts. It changed in instant. So I hung out with the cat for a few seconds and then we left and then a dog came up to us, running up to us and it was so</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">funny and excitable and like funny. And so I started laughing and then I don't know, about 10 minutes later, we ran into a, a black feral cat in the woods and this cat was on the hunt, but this cat also came up to me and wanted me to pet it and everything I'm like, whoa. Again, kindness. It changed my entire world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so going from <strong>understanding what kindness actually is, as opposed to respect, I wanna get into respect and talk about what that means and what kindness means and talk about how we can use both of these things. And when we can use both of these things in our relationships. Here we go: respect </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Comes from the middle English from Latin </strong><em><strong>respectus</strong></em><strong> and from the verb, I'm just gonna spell it. R E S P I C E R E, which means to look at, to regard from R E, which means back. And then to that, you add S P E C E R E, which means to look at, so to look back on, that is what respect actually means when you break it down.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;"><strong>So the definition of respect is a relation or reference to a particular thing or a situation.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;"><strong>And an act of giving particular attention, consideration, like high or special regard, esteem, the quality or state of being esteemed; a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important or held in high esteem or regard. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>So one of the questions we're gonna ask is respect earned or given?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">That's one of the things we're gonna get into today </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Respect is earned, not given suggests that if you wanna be respected, you cannot force people to respect you just because you want them to.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;"><strong>People who think that you cannot force people to respect you it's because they recognize they, they know that not everyone is born equal and they aren't obliged to love or respect anyone just because they exist. It's like, You have to go through a series of things to, in a way earn that respect.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Whereas kindness, I think it's not about earning it. Sometimes you have to be kind to the most hideous person, the most hideous acting person. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm-hmm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>because that's what they need, because we all know that hurt people hurt. People that are in pain wanna inflict pain on others. That's all they know.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>And maybe that's their way of being understood and being heard ;when you feel my pain is when you're gonna feel what I'm going through. You will understand me better. It's really messed up, but I think that is unfortunately the way of things in our society.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;"><strong>I was reading something and it broke it down to, four forms and confusions of respect.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;"><strong>If you look it up and you try to understand the meaning of it (the word, respect), you'll see that people break it down into three ways of respect, three or four usually.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But, so I picked one and I really liked, you know, I don't like the word tolerance. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because to me it's like, and this person totally described it the same way I do. Like it, it just makes me angry when someone is like, let's be tolerant of one another, because to me that implies that you have no respect for me that you're just going to tolerate me because you don't like the color of my skin, but you're gonna tolerate it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that just is ignorant to me that it doesn't work for me. I don't like that. I think they should change the name of museums or like whatever they're doing in society to make us love each other or understand one another. I don't think tolerance is the right word for it. It that's just my personal opinion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But anyway, so here we go. This is written by. It's from recruiter.com is where I got this article from. I read a whole bunch of different people and what they think of respect and that whole thing. And this person, let me find their name. What is their name?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's a writer for <strong> recruiter.com.</strong> His name is<strong> Michael Moffa</strong>. And this is what he had to say about respect. He started off talking about Rodney Dangerfield. He was a comedian, a standup comedian. I think it was in the eighties. And his catch phrase was "I can't get no respect" and everyone glomed onto that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's interesting because a lot of people also felt the same way. So everyone would use that phrase. I can't get no respect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's interesting also Matt, that a lot of these articles had to do with the work situation, like with the corporate world, like that's where they broke down the whole idea of respect and the meaning of respect. I think what's missing is. First of all, it, it, that respect and especially the American culture, forgive me, but it's true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We don't respect our kids. We don't respect each other. We don't respect the family. Really. Like, don't get mad at me, but it's true. If you're getting mad at me, I'm triggering you for a reason. Like there's a reason you're being triggered. I was talking to a friend for four and a half hours.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The conversation really started because I was so upset because your dad was so mean to me. And then, you know, somehow it was brought to his attention by some other family members that what he did was so wrong, but the way he apologized on my voicemail made me even more furious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And then he completely ignored </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then, oh, that's another thing that he ignored it. The, the next time we spoke, like, just because you say, oops, sorry. It doesn't mean you can never talk about it again because the person is still upset, especially because your apology may not have been, um, understood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or the <strong>apology</strong> was probably an <strong>apologia</strong>, which further infuriates the person. because you're not, you're not taking ownness of what you did. You're saying, I'm sorry you felt that way. Or" I'm sorry" but you really didn't get into what you did wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You just wanna say, sorry. And get it over with and things go back to normal. But for me, I came from an abusive kind of family where they did the most messed up things. They rarely apologized. They just ignored it and life went on and then sure enough, that same behavior would take place. And after so many years, for me, most of my life, like I had to go to therapy and I, and I went to so many different therapists because they were all saying, you need to get outta this family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is not okay. Behavior. And because I come from the culture that I come from. Family's big. You just, you stay together. I had to completely cut myself off. I had to remove myself completely, even from the coolest relatives I had to just go off by myself and it's been a very lonely experience, but you can't, you can't just say we're family, we're blood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you're gonna have to put up with it. No. And, and that is where kindness comes in and that's where the whole respect thing comes in. And I wanna say, I'm glad that these articles are written about, <strong>respect in the workplace</strong>, but let's really look at where it actually stems from this whole disrespect thing really starts the way we are raised as babies, the way that as soon as we're born, we have to be put into daycare the way that we just have to fend for ourselves the way we're told you're out by 18, 18, you're out, you better make your own money. You better be out of here. It's saying that you don't belong to the family, that you have to get the heck out. And I understand having a sense of responsibility and becoming independent, but that's a different issue from saying you need to get out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's disrespectful. And we do it with the elders too. We, we put them in daycare. They're no longer part of the family. They're no longer under the same roof for different reasons. One is, you know, because the, the respect from generation to generation is not really considered, and there's no kindness in there, but there's really no respect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so, yeah, even when we're not dealing with elders, we barely wanna hang out during Thanksgiving. We can barely hang out at a kitchen table these days, because we are so split even more than ever before with our politics, with our right as human beings, as my right, as a woman, totally trampled on by your father.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's just, there's no listening. There's no understanding. There is no compassion or empathy for something that you may not be experiencing in your own life. And so what I was trying to tell my friend was what gets me mad is these people who have no respect and have no, they have no empathy until they experience the pain</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">for themselves. That's the only time that they may consider another point of view is when theirs their life is. So put on the extreme for them to fully be immersed in what they thought they were against for them to understand it. Whereas you have to realize you don't have to live a certain way to understand someone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It just takes empathy. It takes listening. It takes hearing the other person out. It takes you removing yourself from the conversation and just hearing someone or seeing someone truly for who they are without you, not you listening, but for, without them putting themselves on the person, trying to further explain that they are right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because "My way is best."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. Yeah, no, I totally got you in the case of my father. I think that he was attempting to take respect, not earning it, not being given it, but take it because he was theoretically trying to do us a favor. And we basically said, no, thank you very </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> much. No, we said no, thank you. After he behaved the way he did exactly, because we're like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you know what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was starting to think he could pull strings. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and, you know, was he being more honest at that moment? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Is he always on guard against saying the wrong thing? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> maybe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but he was trying to take that respect, you know, you will listen to me because I'm now taking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also it's the whole thing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">which doesn't work of like the generational thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like no matter what you have to respect your elders, you have to respect your family no matter how they abuse. You need to respect that. And I don't agree with that. That, that is what perpetuates the whole disease in our society. No, someone has to stop and say no more of this. This behavior is not okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You need to change it. If you're not gonna change it, then I'm sorry. Then you can live like this on your own. There will have to be a split. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Right. And people like to make the excuse of, well, that's not how they were raised and how they grew up. They don't understand cetera. Cetera, cetera, a famous story in my family was one of her brothers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my God was dating a Catholic girl and we're Protestant or my mother was Protestant. And that was a scandal. Went to talk to the priest about it. And the priest said, at least he's going to church. Because the priest was somewhat enlightened, but , when do we stop making allowances for that's just the way things were back then or that's how they were raised or that's just how things are now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is pure laziness saying, well, this is how I was raised. It's saying that you don't even wanna bother thinking or entertaining another person's point of view. You know, we had our girls totally open up to him, to your dad. You know, they're older now. So they're quiet about things as well. They should, because they can understand because people disrespect them like your, like your father did</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He totally ignored them and said, it's just a phase which like deeply hurt them. So I get on the phone with him. I'm like, look, you said this, and you have to realize that it was a big deal for them to have this conversation with you, for them to explain their life, to you, to explain their preferences to you, to like explain their way of living and what they're going through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you totally dismissed it because you don't agree with them. He's like, okay, thanks for letting me know. I'll change that. Did he? No, he ignored it. Week after week after week. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well changing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it means we're no longer </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">talking about it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then when he did talk about it, he said, uh, girls, I wanna apologize.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut from now on. It's like, wow. He, he didn't understand again that you, you being quiet about a social issue, that the girls are going through, you being quiet and saying, I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut is not okay. It's saying I further don't wanna talk to you about it. I further don't wanna hear you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Right. And you know what? I had this almost a very similar conversation with a friend of mine, actually. Her stepdaughter is going through stuff, going through a lot of things, but that's beside the point and the stepdaughter went to the parents and said, this is how I feel. This is who I am. And they completely shot her down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's like, you know what, the quickest way to alienate somebody is to make them feel small. And it doesn't matter if they're family, it doesn't matter if they're coworker, it doesn't matter. And you make somebody feel small, they're gonna stop </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> talking and you make them feel small by the ways that you ignore something correct.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or like they don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> exist or you deny it or you say, oh, oh, uh, no, you're wrong or whatever it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is. So anyway, so going back to the definition of respect.<strong> There are four categories of respect.</strong> One is, and this was all across the board. <strong> The first one was tolerance.</strong> I like how Michael put it, he put it in quotes, putting up with and that's just so wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So TOLERANCE: putting up with what someone else wants, needs hopes for, or expects in the form of forbearance from actions against them. Any idea what that means truly. Can you, can you redefine that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, I wanna say that where tolerance came into it was going through the mindset of the way you were raised you can't change. So let's just pretend that's a true maximum. I don't believe it, but let's pretend that's true. Now. We want to, I integrate the schools. We wanna, oh my God. Mix the races in school. Oh. And we're gonna force bus or we're gonna do what it takes to make that happen. They used to describe it as the first generation will be, will, will force the first generation to be tolerant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then later on next generation of the generation after then we can start coming into harmony. But first with the, you know, it's like people have to see, um, Uhura on the bridge of The Enterprise and get comfortable with the fact that, oh my God, a black woman could be a, a fleet officer on Star Trek. Then the next generation can get more accepting and more accepting and more accepting mm-hmm</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's where tolerance, I think really entered into like the vernacular of, and so it's like, you know what, you're gonna put up with it. You may not like it. You may not be happy about it, but you're gonna put up with it. See, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> interesting the way. So later generation, it's very happy. It's very weird.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How you just read this, you know, you understood this definition totally different than I did. So again, it says tolerance putting up with putting up. What someone else wants, needs hopes for, or expects in the form of forbearance from actions against them. Right. So the way I thought about it was like your father, like for me to display respect, because he's an elder, I have to put up with him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't wanna get him upset because he may have a heart attack or he may, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm like, oh, he's gonna get sick or he's just, you know, it's not good for him. Or is whatever blood pressure, I don't know, but out of tolerance, mm-hmm, out of the fact that he's your father. I have to respect him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It doesn't always work. Right. I end up leaving the room a lot. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Which is weird because jumping the gun I'm I feel, and this is gonna sound weird because you're, and you're gonna disagree with me. I'm sure. But I don't really respect. But I feel the need to be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">kind </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's, that's why we're having this conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's we're having </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the conversation. You're jumping ahead. I'm jumping ahead. I know jumping, but like, you know, uh, you've gotta, you've gotta earn it, right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I have to give you my respect. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and alls it takes, sometimes it takes one sentence to ruin it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mm-hmm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and he's had many paragraphs with which to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">ruin it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh yeah. Chapters novels. Ah, all right. So the next one is admiration that comes in. So again, these are the four elements that go into respect. <strong>The second one is admiration: expressed or felt esteem for and encouragement of another's traits, states, behaviors, et cetera. So you have to admire the person to respect them.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm just gonna use your dad as an example. Mm-hmm please forgive me, Matt. No, no, no. And, and, and I, and forgive me out there, cuz I'm totally disrespecting our elders. I'm disrespecting Matt's dad, but you know, I am so angry right now with, with him as a, a, an archetype, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you will, you know, the white man. Who is very conservative, who will hear nothing about you, does not wanna see other races and religions come into to his circle. Doesn't believe in human rights. He just sees his own rights. Right. And he's the one in the being wronged. Mm-hmm, not black people, you know, like it's, it's, it's outrageous and it, and he's so old and he's so frail and like sick.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's. You know, that's where the tolerance thing comes in. But, and so anyway, so admiration have to when, oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, go ahead. I was gonna go to the next one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay, good. So I'm in a, I'm at quite a conundrum because like my favorite band first concert I ever went to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was band Iron Maiden hay. Welcome to my heavy metal ness. The lead singer, Bruce Dickinson. I admired the be Jesus outta him. And now I'm conflicted. Now I admire, bejesus outta him, he he's a licensed pilot. He flies them around. He was on the British Olympic fencing team. He's a great singer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Disagree with me as you will. So you admire him. I get it. Hold on. Bachelor's degree in history from university, cetera, cetera, et cetera, a lot of things to admire, but divorced his wife currently lives with someone who was described as a groupee. I'm conflicted. I don't know what to do with that. I don't, I don't admire that at all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I'm completely conflicted at first. I said, you know what? Forget it. But I, I can't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> help it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can't admire every single aspect of every single person, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">kind of a big one to me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And yeah, you, you also went through this with Lance Armstrong. Oh my God. You made me read his book. Wow. I was like, I am not interested.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Read the book I'm like, fine. I'll read the book. I hate it when people make me read their books that they like, well, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> made you read like two books and both of 'em are pretty messed up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So I'm like, I didn't like Lance's Armstrong for whatever reason. I couldn't tell you why it was intuitive. Mm-hmm , I'm like, I don't care about this guy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Who is this fool? And you're like, you gotta read it. And then later on we realized, oh, this guy is a major cheater in many ways. Right. Right. And you lost all respect for him. Oh yeah. Big time because there was no more big time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There was no coming back for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> him, but that's beside the point, the amount of things that you admired about him were way canceled out by the things that you did not admire about him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. So there you go. So can I go to the next one? Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Did </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you, no, go ahead. I'm I'm, I'm just conflicted on, on, you know, Iron Maiden, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so, all right. You can still admire the man for being a pilot and, and doing whatever golfing or is that Alice Cooper never that's Alice Cooper. Nevermind. All these heavy metal guys are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> he's hard rock.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't don't get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it twisted. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Okay. So we have tolerance, we have admiration. The next one is difference. Deference. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Deference is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> very different than difference. Okay. So <strong>the next one is deference</strong> guys. Okay. D E F E R E N C E. I don't even know what this means. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It means that you're willing to quote unquote, defer your opinion to that person and, you know, in deference to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I'm gonna ask you what you think and whatever you think. I'm probably gonna say that's what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So <strong>deference, this is what Michael said. Submissive attitudes, behaviors, expressions as indicators or acceptance of claimed or sought superior's status of another. </strong>I don't understand </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that meaning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. See my meaning was so can I read that again? It feels like my meeting was so much more succinct. It's like if you're working with, in my world programming, okay. Let's talk programming for just a second. If I'm working with a 22 year old wonderkind for whatever, subject, whatever part of technology, then I'm gonna listen to what they have to say about whatever it is they're coding, even though I've been coding way longer. In some cases, God, it's getting, it's getting tricky now longer than they've been alive. But if they know more about a given subject, I will say, cool, let me just, let me just listen to what you have to say and, and I'll figure some stuff out. I'll ask you some questions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not gonna necessarily jump in and challenge you on anything because I don't know anything, you know, I have to actually, so I defer to your superior skill. And I say that sometimes I defer, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know what, it's interesting when we came, when we moved. Okay. You all know that my, my family lived in the United States before I was born.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I ended up being born in the middle east. They went back and forth because whatever it was, it was hard to figure out, should we live here or should we live here? Mm-hmm . And so, but I remember there was so much admiration. There was so much deference. Is that how you say mm-hmm to the American man, the white American male?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That basically there was this, uh, what's the word I used again, it it's, um, an archetype of the great American hero, you know, the, the white Anglo Saxon, good looking man, American coming to save the day. And they are smart. They're beautiful. Handsome. They're strong. Like you name it. That's America.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And Matt, just hold on. Let me put my hair back. Matt, just let me smooth my hair. so I just remember like, wow. Like all American men are like this because that's what came from my family. That's what came from my dad. Like, you know, it's to be admired and respected. And I remember when I reached an age and I looked at American men, I'm like, this man is not fit this man is not knowledgeable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This mat, this man not, oh, this man. Oh, Ooh. That's not what I meant. Mm-hmm no, no, no. This man is not intelligent. This man is not educated. This man is not understanding this man is not brave, like going down the list. I'm like, and then I started looking around mm-hmm I'm like, whoa, what happened? Has America always been this way?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This man is sloppy. This man is ignorant. Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like, there was so much deference given to what the United States was. Right. And I'm wondering. You know, I don't, I don't even have to wonder what other people think about America right now, but anyway, should I go to the next one?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sure. So <strong>the last one is acknowledgement. </strong>So, <strong>so far the four traits of having respect, the four elements of respect are tolerance, admiration, deference, and the last one is acknowledgement. </strong>And so this is how Michael put it. He said recognition of the positive value of the existence of another or his or her endeavors, traits, aptitudes achievements, et cetera, with no overtones or reluctance of the sort that tolerance, quote unquote tolerance suggests a simple nod of like quote unquote, hi, tip of the hat or vague smile can easily accomplish this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Of all the forms of respect, this is the most basic and deserved without having to be earned in the absence of evident Hitlerian negatives. What does Hitlerian negatives mean? Do you have any idea? I have to look that up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'd have to, I'd have to see it is ITUR or something. Hitler, negatives.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Capital. Yeah. I don't know. Let's let's not dwell on that word. Okay. Let's just not do it. I don't. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we're gonna ignore it. Yes we are. I'm assuming it has to do with Hitler. It's capitalized. I don't. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, that gets even weirder. Doesn't it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know. So what does that mean? Acknowledgement recognition of the positive value of the existence of another, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">His or her endeavors. Aptitudes achievements, et cetera, with no overtones of reluctance. What do you think he's trying to say here? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So because of tour de France is currently ongoing, I suppose. I'm riding my bike again. Yay. Cuz it's God, the weather's so pretty and wearing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> your polka dotted Jersey wearing my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> polka dotted shirt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't have a Jersey. I'm not nuts. Oh, sorry. When I go riding, it's not in licro spandex. It's in. I I wear sweatpants and a t-shirt. Okay. And I go out super early in the morning anyways. Um, and usually the first person to pass me is, has white hair. It's just kind of how it goes here. And you know, I think I draw that in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, I call Colorado say, good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> morning, can we go back? That's a Colorado thing. By the way, people are absurdly fit. Not everybody, but my God I was watching an Instagram thing, a. Someone was, uh, someone was at the red rocks. The red rocks are like these beautiful rock formations. And there are these bleachers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a concert venue. It's a concert venue. It's out in nature, like in the mountains. Is it in the mountains? We've never been. So it's these massive red rocks. It's quite gorgeous. So there was this one person who was running backwards from the bleachers. You know how like you can skip the bleachers, like run down the bleachers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This person was doing it backwards from up to all the way down. And the caption was something like Colorado people are weird like that. Well, if, if he slips that's, but he didn't, he didn't though, but I'm just saying they're absurdly fit. True. And like in Colorado here, we have like, All the most intense, um, races.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And we have an Ironman here. We have triathletes training here. We have Olympians training. The one of the Olympic training centers is in Colorado Springs. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. People come here to train for major athletic feats, which let's let's tip our hat to Wendy McMillan, happy apple vegan on Instagram. That's why she moved here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She's a major athlete. Don't mess with her. she's probably running and listening to this podcast right now. Hi, Wendy running miles 78 probably by now. Okay. I diagnose, can I go back </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to my actual story or? Yeah, go ahead anyways. And so I I've been making it a point now to say good morning, like, and, or like, I, I put two fingers to my helmet to salute and everything, and you know what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I get ignored sometimes. Sometimes I'll hear it back. Depends on how early in the morning I am. Because typically nicer people are out earlier in the morning, but I'll tell you when I, I got, I got passed by the octogenarian, so I was like, good morning. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel he just booked super fit. Just gone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't even know if he heard me. I don't, I don't know what the story was. but I'll tell you, I got, I got passed by . I got passed by a woman and her body chemistry as she went past me and I said, good morning, shifted. I could feel her soften isn't the right word, cuz she was going for it. You know, I, I wasn't going particularly fast because yeah, I'm not that fit, but I could feel that she appreciated me</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">saying something and not just ignoring her mm-hmm and, and the same thing happened again. I was, I was, I was finishing my ride, uh, going up main street and, you know, I saw just an older woman and I said, good morning. And she immediately did the same thing. and it was because maybe they didn't feel recognized or heard lately.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Mm-hmm I, I couldn't tell you what the deal was. You know, most people were just happy to say, Hey, good morning. Mm-hmm . But in those two instances happened to both be female. I could tell </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> meant something, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">well, we especially need it now because our rights have been completely stripped and men are not saying a word.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not a word. You're all, you all are, you are all quiet. And I, that's another thing that further enrages me anyway, but that's acknowledgeable. But see, that's how I felt when the cat came up to me. Right? Like it changed me in an instant because I felt that kindness, it was unexpected cuz you know, cats are aloof.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They don't give a, they don't care. But for this cat to sense that I needed kindness mm-hmm and came and offered so much kindness. My goodness, that that is kindness. That changes everything. So now I'm going to get to the definition of that. <strong> The etymology of kindness, the word kindness harcs back to the old English, kindness, which me, which meant nation.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We did a whole show on this. You.<strong> It means nation and has roots in the word. K I N kin as in one's family, race or relations, the word eventually evolved into our modern understanding of courtesy or noble deeds by the 14th century.</strong> There you have it, <strong>you can be kind without respecting the person.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sometimes as I was trying to tell my friend last. In the wee hours in the morning, I'm like, she's like, why were you? So you were, why were, were you? We were in, it was the fight back and forth between the respect and the kindness. Mm-hmm <strong> I don't have to respect the person. I can still be kind. Sometimes the people that don't deserve your respect deserve your kindness.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>They need it. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I would say deserve your kindness, cuz I think that that's something that's should be either freely given or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">not freely given. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. Let me put it this way. Society deserves you to be kind to the most hated person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, no that I can't argue with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Because let's face it. There's a reason why they're the way they. and clearly they know they have no respect and clearly deep down, they know why, but they're so comfortable in their situation that they've built for themselves and if they were to veer away from that, it would prove to themselves how wrong they are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's painful to go away from. So to just offer some kindness doesn't mean you have to respect that person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> True. Yeah. And the, the quick example I always come to is, um, unfortunately, yeah. And you're gonna disagree, but, um, when you're like serving the public it's I think, uh, it can be very important to be kind, even when you're dealing with so much like hate and anger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now that, of course there are limits, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, this is a very deep subject. I'm gonna stop it here unless you wanna say something else, Matt, but I think it's good enough today to really look at the meaning of each word. And when you go about your day and you come across people that you don't like, and you will, especially nowadays think about the difference between kindness and respect</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and which one is warranted, which one is needed and why, and that's where I'm gonna leave it today. I love you so much. Thank you for listening, France, Bonjour! Je t'aime I mean, France, thank you so much for listening the whole country. Like I'm blown away by you all. I love you. I wish I could live there. I wish our whole family could live there thank you for all of you friends around the world for listening. Email me your thoughts. Go to our website, our friendly world. What is it again? Our friendly world podcast, doc, go there and, uh, click on contact us. And that will directly email me and then I'll be talking about it with Matt and then Matt will talk to you too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What are you looking like that for? Or is it our friendly world </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> with fun and Matt or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no? Our, our podcast is called our friendly world with Fawn and Matt, what is wrong with us? Please? Edit. Have we had coffee? No, I'm not gonna edit it. It's crazy. It's what happens when you're stressed. But's gonna get confused as far as what the URL, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The URL is our friendly world. What is it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hold on. There's too many dot coms running around, babe. You're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> gonna have to edit it. It's https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/oh, okay.https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ Better, stronger together. Remember https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ we're here to transform our society into a friendlier one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please help us help us by joining our team, widening our circle, beyond the listening, let's form something together and let's create a kinder world. I'm looking forward to your emails. I'm serious. Okay. Talk to you soon in a few days. Love you be well, bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/1ee2663b-be55-4f24-9e20-42e3ce2a7ee2/Respect-vs-Kindness.mp3" length="42612288"
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                    <![CDATA[Understanding what kindness actually is, as opposed to respect, means learning how we can use both of these things. And when we can use both of these things in our relationships. The word respect comes from the middle English from Latin respectus which means to look at, to regard. from R E, which means back. And then to that, you add S P E C E R E, which means to look at, so to look back on. The definition of respect is a relation or reference to a particular thing or a situation and an act of giving particular attention, consideration, like high or special regard, esteem, the quality or state of being esteemed; a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important or held in high esteem or regard. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. Is respect earned or given? Respect is earned, not given suggests that if you want to be respected, you cannot force people to respect you just because you want them to. We aren't obliged to love or respect anyone just because they exist. It's like, You have to go through a series of things to, in a way earn that respect. Whereas kindness is not about earning it. Sometimes you have to be kind to the most hideous person, the most hideous acting person because that's what they need, because we all know that hurt people hurt. People that are in pain want to inflict pain on others. That's all they know. And maybe that's their way of being understood and being heard; when you feel my pain is when you're gonna feel what I'm going through. You will understand me better. It's really messed up, but I think that is unfortunately the way of things in our society.
 Let's really look at where it actually stems from this whole disrespect thing really starts the way we are raised as babies, the way that as soon as we're born, we have to be put into daycare the way that we just have to fend for ourselves the way we're told you're out by 18, 18, you're out, you better make your own money. You better be out of here. It's saying that you don't belong to the family, that you have to get the heck out. And I understand having a sense of responsibility and becoming independent, but that's a different issue from saying you need to get out. It's disrespectful. And we do it with the elders too. We, we put them in daycare. They're no longer part of the family. They're no longer under the same roof for different reasons. One is, you know, because the, the respect from generation to generation is not really considered, and there's no kindness in there, but there's really no respect. And so, yeah, even when we're not dealing with elders, we barely want to hang out during Thanksgiving. We can barely hang out at a kitchen table these days, because we are so split even more than ever before with our politics, with our right as human beings, as my right, as a woman, totally trampled on by your father. It's just, there's no listening. There's no understanding. There is no compassion or empathy for something that you may not be experiencing in your own life. And so what I was trying to tell my friend was what gets me mad is these people who have no respect and have no, they have no empathy until they experience the pain for themselves. That's the only time that they may consider another point of view is when theirs their life is. So put on the extreme for them to fully be immersed in what they thought they were against for them to understand it. Whereas you have to realize you don't have to live a certain way to understand someone. It takes empathy. It takes listening. It takes hearing the other person out. It t...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:44:23</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[True North - How to Find Deeper Connections]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Jul 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/true-north-how-to-find-deeper-connections</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/true-north-how-to-find-deeper-connections</link>
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                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">We all have a compass needle within us knowing the true north.The direction that points directly toward the geographic north pole. This is a fixed point on the Earth's globe. That is the definition of true north. Like a compass points toward a magnetic field, your personal true north directs your path and pulls you forward to your personal place of perfection.<br /><br /> True north is an awareness of direction. It's a guidance, your orienting point, your fixed point in a spinning world that helps you stay on track. It's your internal compass unique to you and only you, representing who you are at your deepest level. True north is a sense of being at home within yourself. What feels good to you at your core is your true north.<br /><br /> Are we guided by logic? Are we guided by reason? Are we guided by math; by some rationale that makes perfect sense on paper or are we guided by intuition and feeling?<br /><br /> What if the logic and math don't make sense? What if intuition and spiritual guidance that you are asking for is silent? Like, you know, you could be spiritual, you could be religious, you could be whatever. Everyone asks, where am I supposed to go? What is happening? Do I turn right? Or do I turn left? Do I make this decision? Or this decision? What should I do? When you ask, you get that inner knowing of what to do, but what happens when you don't hear anything? It's like a deafening silence. It's a horrible feeling when you can't feel that guidance, when you don't hear or reply to your request. It leaves you with a feeling of being deeply alone. You can be surrounded by people. You can be in the midst of crowds, you know, and feel like you have friends and still feel this way.<br /><br /> As we travel in various directions, we use discernment and knowing at our core to actualize our path in life, by tuning to this true north, we feel our power. We feel centered. And we are attuned to our surroundings and to our global cosmic family, which brings us to the art of friendship and true north.<br /><br /> Physically being where you're supposed to be is just as important as being somewhere spiritually, being somewhere emotionally as you're true north. So finding the true north and the quest for deeper connection; connection with people, connection with where you're stepping, where you're walking on the earth, connection with the planet, connection with the universe; where are you in it?? How can we reconnect with that? How can we get to that place? For me also, going back to the art of friendship, true north is truly the connection to our global family.<br /><br /> It's even more important right now to find your inner true north and connect with your true, true Norths, which are your, your family members that bring you comfort and bring you strength. And so this is the quest today; to find that deeper connection. <br /></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> As we navigate our lives, we experience unknowns. Change is not easy. It's a muscle you have to use and you have to work out. That's why, when, like we have so many people in our lives that are so old and rigid, you know, like Bruce Lee always said, was it Bruce Lee? Who said, be like bamboo, don't be like an Oak tree because bamboo will sway with the wind. But the Oak will break. We can go back to the teachings of Aikido, to be like water. You have to move and conform and change and yourself; mold yourself as you go through, you have to bend, you have to go with the flow and when you don't and this is with ideas, this is with just working out your body. This is with emotions. It's all of that. You have to constantly be with the flow. That's why surfers are so cool because every wave that comes is different and they can ride it instead of being swallowed up by it. And when they do get swallowed up by it, they come back and they ride the next. It's good because...</strong></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We all have a compass needle within us knowing the true north.The direction that points directly toward the geographic north pole. This is a fixed point on the Earth's globe. That is the definition of true north. Like a compass points toward a magnetic field, your personal true north directs your path and pulls you forward to your personal place of perfection. True north is an awareness of direction. It's a guidance, your orienting point, your fixed point in a spinning world that helps you stay on track. It's your internal compass unique to you and only you, representing who you are at your deepest level. True north is a sense of being at home within yourself. What feels good to you at your core is your true north. Are we guided by logic? Are we guided by reason? Are we guided by math; by some rationale that makes perfect sense on paper or are we guided by intuition and feeling? What if the logic and math don't make sense? What if intuition and spiritual guidance that you are asking for is silent? Like, you know, you could be spiritual, you could be religious, you could be whatever. Everyone asks, where am I supposed to go? What is happening? Do I turn right? Or do I turn left? Do I make this decision? Or this decision? What should I do? When you ask, you get that inner knowing of what to do, but what happens when you don't hear anything? It's like a deafening silence. It's a horrible feeling when you can't feel that guidance, when you don't hear or reply to your request. It leaves you with a feeling of being deeply alone. You can be surrounded by people. You can be in the midst of crowds, you know, and feel like you have friends and still feel this way. As we travel in various directions, we use discernment and knowing at our core to actualize our path in life, by tuning to this true north, we feel our power. We feel centered. And we are attuned to our surroundings and to our global cosmic family, which brings us to the art of friendship and true north. Physically being where you're supposed to be is just as important as being somewhere spiritually, being somewhere emotionally as you're true north. So finding the true north and the quest for deeper connection; connection with people, connection with where you're stepping, where you're walking on the earth, connection with the planet, connection with the universe; where are you in it?? How can we reconnect with that? How can we get to that place? For me also, going back to the art of friendship, true north is truly the connection to our global family. It's even more important right now to find your inner true north and connect with your true, true Norths, which are your, your family members that bring you comfort and bring you strength. And so this is the quest today; to find that deeper connection. 
 As we navigate our lives, we experience unknowns. Change is not easy. It's a muscle you have to use and you have to work out. That's why, when, like we have so many people in our lives that are so old and rigid, you know, like Bruce Lee always said, was it Bruce Lee? Who said, be like bamboo, don't be like an Oak tree because bamboo will sway with the wind. But the Oak will break. We can go back to the teachings of Aikido, to be like water. You have to move and conform and change and yourself; mold yourself as you go through, you have to bend, you have to go with the flow and when you don't and this is with ideas, this is with just working out your body. This is with emotions. It's all of that. You have to constantly be with the flow. That's why surfers are so cool because every wave that comes is different and they can ride it instead of being swallowed up by it. And when they do get swallowed up by it, they come back and they ride the next. It's good because...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[True North - How to Find Deeper Connections]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">We all have a compass needle within us knowing the true north.The direction that points directly toward the geographic north pole. This is a fixed point on the Earth's globe. That is the definition of true north. Like a compass points toward a magnetic field, your personal true north directs your path and pulls you forward to your personal place of perfection.<br /><br /> True north is an awareness of direction. It's a guidance, your orienting point, your fixed point in a spinning world that helps you stay on track. It's your internal compass unique to you and only you, representing who you are at your deepest level. True north is a sense of being at home within yourself. What feels good to you at your core is your true north.<br /><br /> Are we guided by logic? Are we guided by reason? Are we guided by math; by some rationale that makes perfect sense on paper or are we guided by intuition and feeling?<br /><br /> What if the logic and math don't make sense? What if intuition and spiritual guidance that you are asking for is silent? Like, you know, you could be spiritual, you could be religious, you could be whatever. Everyone asks, where am I supposed to go? What is happening? Do I turn right? Or do I turn left? Do I make this decision? Or this decision? What should I do? When you ask, you get that inner knowing of what to do, but what happens when you don't hear anything? It's like a deafening silence. It's a horrible feeling when you can't feel that guidance, when you don't hear or reply to your request. It leaves you with a feeling of being deeply alone. You can be surrounded by people. You can be in the midst of crowds, you know, and feel like you have friends and still feel this way.<br /><br /> As we travel in various directions, we use discernment and knowing at our core to actualize our path in life, by tuning to this true north, we feel our power. We feel centered. And we are attuned to our surroundings and to our global cosmic family, which brings us to the art of friendship and true north.<br /><br /> Physically being where you're supposed to be is just as important as being somewhere spiritually, being somewhere emotionally as you're true north. So finding the true north and the quest for deeper connection; connection with people, connection with where you're stepping, where you're walking on the earth, connection with the planet, connection with the universe; where are you in it?? How can we reconnect with that? How can we get to that place? For me also, going back to the art of friendship, true north is truly the connection to our global family.<br /><br /> It's even more important right now to find your inner true north and connect with your true, true Norths, which are your, your family members that bring you comfort and bring you strength. And so this is the quest today; to find that deeper connection. <br /></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> As we navigate our lives, we experience unknowns. Change is not easy. It's a muscle you have to use and you have to work out. That's why, when, like we have so many people in our lives that are so old and rigid, you know, like Bruce Lee always said, was it Bruce Lee? Who said, be like bamboo, don't be like an Oak tree because bamboo will sway with the wind. But the Oak will break. We can go back to the teachings of Aikido, to be like water. You have to move and conform and change and yourself; mold yourself as you go through, you have to bend, you have to go with the flow and when you don't and this is with ideas, this is with just working out your body. This is with emotions. It's all of that. You have to constantly be with the flow. That's why surfers are so cool because every wave that comes is different and they can ride it instead of being swallowed up by it. And when they do get swallowed up by it, they come back and they ride the next. It's good because you're flexing your muscles. <br /><br /><br /><br /> It's good to feel this uncomfortableness, but what you're also feeling is homesickness. When you go through change, even where you come from, when you go to a new place, even when you come from a place you didn't like you end up missing that place because you're just used to it. And it's because, in a certain way, I think your muscles, your spiritual muscles, your emotional muscles, your physical muscles get atrophied in a way. They get used to not flexing. They get used to not being fluid. You just get used to that. You can become used to misery. And that's your comfort; that becomes your comfort because it's what, you know,<br /><br /> Remember that your home is inside you. Your home is your memories. Your home is your experience. Your home is in this big, beautiful universe of constant change. That is your home.<br /><br /> Another thing to keep in mind (something that in the United States is valued so much) is the notion that you are what you do for a living. A career is a means to just exchange services to get by in life. It's a barter system. Your true north is way deeper than that. Think about let's get back to the art of friendship and the true north, finding your true north in yourself, you can spot it out in other people. You find your family that way. It has nothing to do with coworkers. It has nothing to do with your career. It has nothing to do with your standing in society. Your true north is your true north throughout every lifetime throughout everything you do throughout all your careers.<br /> </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:small;"><strong> You always have this one true north. And I think the problem, especially in our country is we don't even have time to reflect on that, to figure out what a true north actually is, what it is to feel a certain way. We don't have time because we're always in survival mode. That's why we don't have time to have friendships.<br /><br /> The best way for me to describe it is true north is that essence of pure love.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br /></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast">https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/">https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe">https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/</a></strong></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>True North - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> love you. My babies, my beautiful friends, our beautiful friends. Hello. All right. <strong>The direction that points directly toward the geographic north pole. This is a fixed point on the Earth's globe. That is the definition of true north. What I'm saying is like a compass points toward a magnetic field, your personal true north directs your path and pulls you forward to your personal place of perfection.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>True north is an awareness of direction. It's a guidance. True north is your orienting point, your fixed point in a spinning world that helps you stay on track. True north is your internal compass unique to you and only you, representing who you are at your deepest level. True north is a sense of being at home within yourself.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Are we guided by logic? Are we guided by reason? Are we guided by math; by some rationale that makes perfect sense on paper or are we guided by intuition and feeling?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I definitely am purely intuition and feeling Matt is totally logical.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Not totally.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I can say I'm not totally either. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there you go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So. <strong>What if the logic and math don't make sense? What if intuition and spiritual guidance that you are asking for is silent? Like, you know, you could be spiritual, you could be religious, you could be whatever. Everyone asks, where am I supposed to go?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>What is happening? Do I turn right? Or do I turn left? Do I make this decision? Or this decision? What should I do? When you ask, you get that inner knowing of what to do, but what happens when you don't hear anything? It's like a deafening silence. </strong>It's horrible. You know, ever since I was a kid, I would hear voices and I call it spirit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I have always different forms of angels and I've always had guidance ever since I can remember. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Mm-hmm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I remember things from when I was in diapers. And no one believed me when I was a kid, but I could recite word for word what an adult in the room said when I was an infant. And it was true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I would blow these people away because I remember stuff. And I remember my guidance and I remember asking questions and there have been so many times where. I felt, or didn't hear anything coming back to me like, hello, are you still with me? Am I alone? It's horrible.<strong> It's a horrible feeling when you can't feel that guidance, when you don't hear or reply to your request,</strong> like, are you out there?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you still helping me? Am I... what's going on? You know? Right. It's that deafening silence. Um, it, it just it's.<strong> It leaves you with a feeling of being deeply alone.</strong> Like I said, in a state of deafening silence. <strong>You can be surrounded by people. You can be in the midst of crowds, you know, and feel like you have friends and still feel this way.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this guidance that I'm talking about is the true north<strong>. We all have a compass needle within us knowing the true north</strong>, we can still travel in any direction we choose. So like you have a compass, it tells you this is north, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It doesn't mean that you go north. It means you can go any direction you choose, but you know, this is north.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So if you do wanna go south, you go south, but you, you have that constant guidance of this is south because that's north. So the directions that you take in life or the decisions that you make, as long as you know what your true north is, it's okay. Because you can reroute yourself and know, okay, I'm going south here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">in however way you wanna take that. Sometimes you do wanna go south. Sometimes you do wanna go and feel irate about something. Sometimes you do need to give someone a spiritual kick in the pants. You're not always going to be living in true north, but you have that inner compass, that needle, that points to this is who you really are here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is your true north. And it's a feeling. Last week, we were talking about comfort. And you're like, why did you keep talking about true north? It's because it's been on my mind and it's similar. That comfort feeling I think is similar to when you're trying to find your compass. <strong>What feels good to you at your core is your true north.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What makes you feel strong and centered; that is where your true north is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You stole my point. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, let me, let me keep talking. I'm sure you have many points, Matt. So, like I said,<strong> we can still travel in any direction we choose. We use discernment and knowing at our core to actualize our path in life, by tuning to this true north, we feel our power.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>We feel centered. And we are attuned to our surroundings and to our global cosmic family, which brings me back to the art of friendship and true north.</strong> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What brought this up for me was after many, many years of being away from an ocean, cause we live in the middle of the continent. I was literally dipping my, my toes into the Atlantic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had never, I don't think I've ever done that in my life, on the American continent. And I was sitting there and I was texting someone and she was saying, yeah, that's my true north right there. Where you, where you are because, we were staying at her house. She was away and I'm like, yeah, you are right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is true north for me too. It felt so good that I started to cry, happy tears. It was like coming back to a friend, it was like coming back to an elder. It was like being enveloped in a loving parents' arms, uh, a certain guidance you feel a certain safety you feel of home, a sense of home. A sense of peace and a sense of strength.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I started crying because it felt like it was the kind of crying where you're like, where have you been all this time? Like, where have I been all this time? And where have you been all this time? You know, my location, where have I been . And so I, every day, since then, I've been thinking about true north and what that is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've been craving for my true north physically, geographically for so long. Have you ever been in a place where you just feel like you're not jiving with that place? I feel like it just, it, I can't sink in. I can't get rooted in a particular geographic point on, on some parts of the planet. It's not, for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not intended to be there. I'm. A dolphin that needs to be in the ocean, but I'm living in the middle of the continent away from water. And I can't, I I'm, I'm sad because I need to be where my true north is physically. I have my true north in me in my spirit, but I think the two need to work hand in hand, you do need to find where you belong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because <strong>physically being where you're supposed to be is just as important as being somewhere spiritually, being somewhere emotionally as you're true north. So finding the true north and the quest for deeper connection; connection with people, connection with where you're stepping, where you're walking on the earth, connection with the planet, connection with the universe; where are you in it??</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>How can we reconnect with that? How can we get to that place? For me also, going back to the art of friendship, true north is truly the connection to our global family.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's, it's hard for me to say that right now, especially since I disagree with so many people. Especially in my country right now that are against human rights. The people that are against human rights period, against, against women's rights, against the right to love. Whoever you wanna love, against being a culture that you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Against looking a certain way against you name it. It's so hard for me to connect with that and be like, we are one family. And you're my true north. When I look at so many, so much of the population and I'm thinking this is far from true north, what is this? So <strong>it's even more important right now to find your inner true north and connect with your true, true Norths, which are your, your family members that bring you comfort and bring you strength.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>And so this is the quest today; to find that deeper connection. </strong>How do we get there and why did it take me years to get back to an ocean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">How about you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Different completely different sensibilities of course, on my side, because I am more governed by logic. And for me, it's about new pieces of information coming in and changing where my true north, where my center really lies sometimes. And these have happened historically through time and, it's just a way of rewriting</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">how things go. So, for me, I certainly, yes, I did miss the ocean. Did I think of the ocean as my true north? No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's my personal true north. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">i, but I missed the ocean for sure. It's just, yeah, it's very, very tricky. It's like just a completely take us over in the left field. But once upon a time, a man named Copernicus had the gall to say that the earth was not the center of the universe, which is called heliocentric.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And everybody around him got super mad because, everybody likes to believe they are the center of everything. And when he said, well, we circled the sun and the sun is one of many suns and on and on and on, it really affected people in such a negative way, in such a violent way. And point of fact, I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he was probably wait.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why do you think that is? Why do people get, so bent out of shape? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We get attached, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we get attached to comfortable things. We get attached to our center. And when somebody takes our center away from us, it's a hard thing to think about. And I always call </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it like, or maybe they realize, or maybe someone points out that is truly not your center.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you know what I mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it's truly not just the center. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? Exactly. That there's something else that makes them feel like they're in a free fall, maybe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. Whereas I think of it as, really having to digest this new piece of information and that rewrites as you will my worldview is how I describe it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cuz of course the industry I'm in computers. Yeah. Welcome to. We didn't have smartphones when smartphones happen that changed everything when and things keep changing. So I'm more ironically, even though I loathe change, I'm exposed to it all the time and I really, really do not like change, but yet I've figured out how to get comfortable, at least in the technical aspects of things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But then I don't. I don't want other aspects to change. It's kind of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">funny, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> As we were looking for where we should live and we ended up traveling all over the place, our youngest came to me really sad in the midst of like such beauty. We were surrounded in and she's like, I just realized; cuz I was walking around saying, oh, I'm realizing things about myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And so it, I think it led her to have the vocabulary to say, you know, I'm realizing something about myself. I'm realizing that I don't like change. It's really scary to me. I don't like it, even though she really loved being there. Mm-hmm I, and I'm like, I think, I think I know what it is you're feeling, it's a part of many things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One is <strong>change is not easy. It's a muscle you have to use and you have to work out. That's why, when, like we have so many people in our lives that are so old and rigid, you know, like Bruce Lee always said, was it Bruce Lee? Who said, be like bamboo, don't be like an Oak tree because bamboo will sway with the wind.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>But the Oak will break. Is it the </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Oak? </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Yeah, it is the Oak, but I'm reasonably sure it's not. Um, </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>it wasn't Bruce?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong> I think it's older than Bruce, but we can go back to, Aikido, be like water. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>Yeah. You have to move and conform and change and yourself; mold yourself as you go through, you have to bend, you have to go with the flow and when you don't and this is with ideas, this is with</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>just working out your body. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Mm-hmm </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong>this is with emotions. It's all of that. You have to constantly be with the flow. That's why surfers are so cool because every wave that comes is different and they can ride it instead of being swallowed up by it. And when they do get swallowed up by it, they come back and they ride the next.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hopefully, hopefully. Um, so I was telling her, so it's either that, so <strong>it's good because you're flexing your muscles. </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <strong>Mm-hmm.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <strong> It's good to feel this uncomfortableness, but what you're also feeling is a home sickness. When you go through change, even where you come from, when you go to a new place, even when you come from a place you didn't like you end up missing that place because you're just used to it.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>And it's because in a certain way, I think your muscles, your spiritual muscles, your emotional muscles, your physical muscles get atrophied in a way. They get used to not flexing. They get used to not being</strong> <strong>fluid. You just get used to that. You can become used to misery.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>And that's your comfort; that becomes your comfort because it's what, you know,</strong> So we were talking about this and I'm like, <strong>remember that your home is inside you. Your home are your memories. Your home is your experiences. Your home is in this big, beautiful universe of constant change. That is your home.</strong> And we went about our day </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, I would also say it's certainly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you're in your rhythm, like for example, living in a place it's like, you know, where the mailbox is, you know, when the mail gets delivered, you know, when the trash gets picked up or whatever, or when you take the trash normally to the dump or whatever it is. You get used to the rhythms of a given place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And on some level it's like your mind gets to kinda shut down about it. Right. And when you're in a new place, all of a sudden everything's firing. So it's literally like I'm studying Spanish. And for me it's like, there's no kind of shortcuts. And, and the way things get described, you have to be present to it and you have to, it's like, it feels like there are no shortcuts. Every sentence feels longer than it would be in English is how it kind of feels to me. And so you have to, and your pronunciation and all the rest of it. So you're, it's the same way when you move someplace new, it's like, well, you have to figure out so many things. It's exhausting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It is it's uh, yeah. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We rented a car for a week. I did. Most of, I did most of the driving, which I hate to drive by the way, driving for me. I'm, I'm praying for a time in our society when, where no one drives cars, I don't like it. And I don't like being on a highway. And especially when it's raining and you can't see the lanes mm-hmm and you know, you have like certain drivers in different geographic locations have different personalities with their driving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And they're aggressive. Some of them and so I'm not aggressive. I'm like, Hey, everybody calm down. Like, why must you be driving 95 miles per hour or 75? It's like the speed limit. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm so if I'm driving and if the speed limit is 75 and I'm driving 70. Oh my God. Like the people behind me, like, they're so angry, like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just go around me. like, what it just whatever I'm I'm digress saying, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the car. So we rented a car and we get into it. I'm like, I don't understand this thing. I don't understand how to turn it on even! Like, everything about the car was totally different than the car we have at home. And so honestly, I had no idea how anything worked.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Well, like it didn't even have a key, it was a keyless car. Like putting the brake on or, uh, um, unlocking the brake when you're wanting to drive or, or like if you had your foot on the brake at a stoplight, the car would turn off. And that was disconcerting. Cause I, you know, I'm used to having old cars that break down, I'm like, Ooh, it's the car broke down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well also when you take your foot off the brake, then all of a sudden the car starts and you can feel that little shutter. Yeah. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> then yeah, the shaking, like the, the, the jolting back and forth, it was just weird. Right? It was. And then when we came back and we got into our own car, I didn't know how to drive our car.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, and we've had, it has like 85 buttons too. Oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Our car we've had for how many years? For a long time. Right? I couldn't remember how to open the hatch. You know, the back, the back the trunk. I couldn't remember. Like it took one week for me to forget how to use the car we've driven for years. it was weird.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was, and I'm like, whoa, this car feels so different. It's uncomfortable. Our old car that was so comfortable to me. Mm-hmm was like uncomfortable. And next thing I know I was feeling homesick for the car I didn't like. I was for a second. Mm-hmm for a few seconds. I understand. I was like, whoa, the other car was smoother and lighter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you know what I mean? No, I love our car though. I love our car, but. Well, you know, love, like I enjoy our car anyway. Um, how does this relate to true north? Did we digress </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">completely? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We did, yet didn't because I would just say for me, true north isn't necessarily a fixed place and it's certainly I not a fixed place that never</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">changes, you know, certainly when I was young, I thought maybe I wanted to be a farmer. And then I thought maybe I wanted to be a professional gambler and, and on and on and on. So if you look at true north, as far as a career path </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">goes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it moved. But the thing is, that's not true. North true north has nothing to do with your career path.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, that's an aspect of, to me,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no, that is where that is where you're going in life. So like I said, true north, is there. You're looking at a compass, you're going Northwest. You're going like all these other infinite degrees or infinite degrees or all you have all these degrees of different directions you can go, but there's only one true north in you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your career has nothing to do with it. It's who you are at your core. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Nothing? (Matt takes an exalted breath)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nothing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, okay then</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no,<strong> a career is a means to just exchange services to get by in life. It's a barter system. Your true north is way deeper than that. Think about let's get back to the art of friendship and the true north, finding your true north in yourself,</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>you can spot it out in other people. You find your family that way. It has nothing to do with coworkers. It has nothing to do with your career. It has nothing to do with your standing in society. Your true north is your true north throughout every lifetime throughout everything you do throughout all the careers.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>You have, you always have this one true north. And I think the problem, especially in our country is we don't even have time to reflect on that, to figure out what a true north actually is, what it is to feel a certain way. We don't have time because we're always in survival mode. That's why we don't have time to have friendships.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's why people get offended when I say you don't really have true friendships. Let's take a look at it so we can have a deeper connection so we can have the true friendship is because we're so, because of the survival mode thing, we're just concerned with me and mine. How am I gonna pay the rent? How am I gonna pay the mortgage?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How am I gonna get food? How am I gonna feed the family? How am I going to do this? How am I gonna do that? And we're so enveloped in all that stuff that it takes us away from true north. That's when the compass starts spinning and you have no idea which way is up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So you would say that people have exactly one true north and it's about, and some people spend their entire lifetimes and never sort out what that is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's just, it's a matter of when I was five I thought it was this when I was eight, then I got more clarity </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and it became, that's just, it, it's not about thinking. I thought that it was. Yeah, but it's not about thinking is what I'm saying. You have to feel it because it is at your core.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's not physical. It is an entity of its own. It's like divine. It is everything. It is, it is who you are. And I think <strong>the best way for me to describe it is true north is that essence of pure love. </strong>Why are</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you looking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">at me like that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's just, it, it, it's just the way we see the world, because for me, It's not necessarily an intuitive process. It's not a, you know, I know when I'm doing things that feel right. And I know when I'm doing things that feel wrong or feel right in the moment, but my true north is a more logical construct.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's because you've been trained. Into being this binary like clock, or like she used the word binary. You're like, beep beep pop, pop computer minded person </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> oh, Lord </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> person, you see patterns, you see like everything like a matrix, but at the core of that, you're still feeling it. And I think you want to label it as ABC or 1, 2, 3, or zeros and ones, if you will, in your computer world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yeah, certainly it brings me comfort to do that, but I think that there's a truth to it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What is the truth to that? I mean, what is, how can you, so you're trying to break it down. I'm saying, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> of course, I'm trying to break it down. That's what I do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's what you do, but just, but you did say it, it comes to a feeling so you can use all the math you want, but really comes back to intuition and it comes back to this divine guide that is you. You are at the core of that because you are of, of the infinite. You are the universe. You are the center. Matt is just giving me this look. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can't argue with this. So what am I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know, that's it, that's it for our show today. thanks for listening everybody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, she likes her. When </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I say I can't argue with it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> DOOW!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I don't like arguing. I'm not a good debater. Because then I, I don't know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> apologia,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't, I know what I know. And I know that you can't break it down. You have to feel it. It's like trying to describe, I don't know. You know, I've met so many religious people in my life traveling and when I was younger, I'm like, Hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The people that were so religious, I was like, well, how can you prove that there is a God, you know, like I would ask that question. Right. And they would always say, I can't, it's a feeling and I'm, I'm not trying to talk on a religious, religious, uh, level here. I I'm try trying. I'm just trying to be speaking on a level of pure love and sometimes with some religions,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">love gets taken out of it. I find that certain, religions can get into a form of control, controlling the masses. That's my personal opinion. But at the root of all religion, I think really is love. And that's what I wanna focus on. And that's what I'm saying.<strong> True north. It really is</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>it's that part in you that you can't define and you can't explain and you can't prove. And I think the closest way to understanding it and to feeling it is to feel it.</strong> And so, you know, maybe you <strong>test it out when you meet people, see how you truly feel. But you have to be really honest with how you're feeling, because initially you may have a spark for a split second that says this person is dangerous, but then for whatever reason you convince yourself otherwise, and then later you realize that person was not okay for me to be around. And I think it's the same way. Like you can travel, you can walk around and you can really feel where you are stepping. How does that feel for you?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Are you feeling more empowered or are you feeling shaky? Are you feeling not strong or strong? It's like looking at the compass. If you want a certain feeling, you have to figure out what your base is, what is your base, which is what is your true north. And so when you go west or east or south or whatever other direction, you can recognize the difference.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>And then you can re navigate back to finding that really good feeling. And you do that with people too. And that's how you can find your true north friend. And I think that's how you can find the deeper connections,</strong> <strong>as long as you can ask yourself these questions of how do I feel? Am I strong? Am I weak?</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Is my energy gone? Do I feel energized? Do I feel happy? And when you're in a place and you feel relieved? I'll speak for myself. Like when I was sitting there on the sand, I felt relieved. I felt all the pressure go away. I felt like I didn't have to explain anything because the ocean knew. And with every wave that came.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>And got swept away. It took away part of my sadness,</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>you know, like a parent that I always wanted that can just hug you and realize your pain and just take it away by being compassionate. And I think when you're in your true north, you feel that that's all taken care of for you because you connect to your own personal, true north. And when you connect to that, you can recognize it in others and then you can build family from there.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what I have to say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Certainly. Yes. When you're centered, you're more aware. You're more alert. You're more connected of course, because that's the whole definition of centered is, you know, I'm, I'm here. I I'm in my strength, I'm in my strong place or whatever you want to call it. So yeah, I can totally see that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so that's it. What is your true north? I hope that you recognize me as your true north because I'm your friend I'm here for you and thank you. Thank you. We love you. thanks for listening. I think that's all I have to say. Do you have anything to add Matt shakes his head? No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> okay. Which is really good in a strictly audio.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Medium. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. I love you so much. Thank you for listening. We'll talk to you in just a few days. Be well, bye.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/efaf9ccd-9909-458a-aab8-d49435af8702/True-North-.mp3" length="27984960"
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We all have a compass needle within us knowing the true north.The direction that points directly toward the geographic north pole. This is a fixed point on the Earth's globe. That is the definition of true north. Like a compass points toward a magnetic field, your personal true north directs your path and pulls you forward to your personal place of perfection. True north is an awareness of direction. It's a guidance, your orienting point, your fixed point in a spinning world that helps you stay on track. It's your internal compass unique to you and only you, representing who you are at your deepest level. True north is a sense of being at home within yourself. What feels good to you at your core is your true north. Are we guided by logic? Are we guided by reason? Are we guided by math; by some rationale that makes perfect sense on paper or are we guided by intuition and feeling? What if the logic and math don't make sense? What if intuition and spiritual guidance that you are asking for is silent? Like, you know, you could be spiritual, you could be religious, you could be whatever. Everyone asks, where am I supposed to go? What is happening? Do I turn right? Or do I turn left? Do I make this decision? Or this decision? What should I do? When you ask, you get that inner knowing of what to do, but what happens when you don't hear anything? It's like a deafening silence. It's a horrible feeling when you can't feel that guidance, when you don't hear or reply to your request. It leaves you with a feeling of being deeply alone. You can be surrounded by people. You can be in the midst of crowds, you know, and feel like you have friends and still feel this way. As we travel in various directions, we use discernment and knowing at our core to actualize our path in life, by tuning to this true north, we feel our power. We feel centered. And we are attuned to our surroundings and to our global cosmic family, which brings us to the art of friendship and true north. Physically being where you're supposed to be is just as important as being somewhere spiritually, being somewhere emotionally as you're true north. So finding the true north and the quest for deeper connection; connection with people, connection with where you're stepping, where you're walking on the earth, connection with the planet, connection with the universe; where are you in it?? How can we reconnect with that? How can we get to that place? For me also, going back to the art of friendship, true north is truly the connection to our global family. It's even more important right now to find your inner true north and connect with your true, true Norths, which are your, your family members that bring you comfort and bring you strength. And so this is the quest today; to find that deeper connection. 
 As we navigate our lives, we experience unknowns. Change is not easy. It's a muscle you have to use and you have to work out. That's why, when, like we have so many people in our lives that are so old and rigid, you know, like Bruce Lee always said, was it Bruce Lee? Who said, be like bamboo, don't be like an Oak tree because bamboo will sway with the wind. But the Oak will break. We can go back to the teachings of Aikido, to be like water. You have to move and conform and change and yourself; mold yourself as you go through, you have to bend, you have to go with the flow and when you don't and this is with ideas, this is with just working out your body. This is with emotions. It's all of that. You have to constantly be with the flow. That's why surfers are so cool because every wave that comes is different and they can ride it instead of being swallowed up by it. And when they do get swallowed up by it, they come back and they ride the next. It's good because...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/1181399/Sign-pointing-to-true-North.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:09</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Comfort]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 04 Jul 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-comfort</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-comfort</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">The whole sense of comfort and having a friend who is your witness in life is that there is a treasure in when you and a friend are not on equal footing when they are not in the thick of things that you're in the midst of. There's a balance. This is a balancing gift. This is one of the many ways the action of comfort can really be felt. Sometimes when friends are not equal, one tends to assume, especially in the beginning when one friend may assume that you're weak or you don't know how to do something because you may not be in that exact state of mind to be showing your expertise. So then they take the role of “I know better” and they assume the role of mentor. And so these roles get established. As time goes on, you develop ways in which you can unfold in front of one another, and you can see your gifts and you can see as time goes on, that one person is strong one moment, the other person is weak and then it flips. It's the turning of the world. It's the rising and setting of the sun. It's the same way with our lives and our experiences and our friendships. Our relationships are like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Oftentimes you get put in a situation where you're emotionally connected and you're not thinking through things clearly and logically and the other person, your friend can see more clearly, and while they're emotionally connected to you personally, they're not emotionally connected to your problem at the moment. So they can see things more objectively and you're more apt to listen to them because you do have the emotional connection to them so they can help dig you out of your hole. It's one of the few cases where logic can't get you out of a place that emotion has gotten you into.</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Sometimes it's enough to hit the pause button on your life for 15 minutes. And then jump back into it with a renewed sense and an understanding that the earth is still spinning around the sun. It's still spinning around the universe and everything. It's good to actually get back to that sense of perspective because sometimes it is just that the dishwasher broke where that seems like such an enormous ginormous unsolvable problem, but really, it's good to have somebody remind you that everything has a solution. This is where comfort comes in; how our friendships are a source of comfort.<br /><br />So let's get into the definition of comfort: from the 13th century, the meaning is to cheer up, console, soothe, to soothe when in grief or trouble; to help, to strengthen. The noun, which originated if you look at the etymology of it, circa 1200 is the feeling of relief in affliction or sorrow, solace, pleasure, and enjoyment. To solace is to help; to strengthen. And isn't that what we do for each other? </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">From old English word in the same sense was <em>frofor</em>, meaning the state of enjoyment resulting from the satisfaction of bodily wants and freedom from anxiety. And then there's the middle English meaning, which means strength, support encouragement. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Dictionary.com defines comfort as a verb to soothe, console, reassure, and bring cheer to. And then the noun is the relief in affliction consolation solace. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">So what is comfort? Psychologist, Kolcaba, talked about three elements of comfort that revolves around relief, ease, and transcendence.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Tune in to this episode on how we can find comfort on our own and within our relationships. </span></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br /></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast">https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodca...</a></strong></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The whole sense of comfort and having a friend who is your witness in life is that there is a treasure in when you and a friend are not on equal footing when they are not in the thick of things that you're in the midst of. There's a balance. This is a balancing gift. This is one of the many ways the action of comfort can really be felt. Sometimes when friends are not equal, one tends to assume, especially in the beginning when one friend may assume that you're weak or you don't know how to do something because you may not be in that exact state of mind to be showing your expertise. So then they take the role of “I know better” and they assume the role of mentor. And so these roles get established. As time goes on, you develop ways in which you can unfold in front of one another, and you can see your gifts and you can see as time goes on, that one person is strong one moment, the other person is weak and then it flips. It's the turning of the world. It's the rising and setting of the sun. It's the same way with our lives and our experiences and our friendships. Our relationships are like that.
Oftentimes you get put in a situation where you're emotionally connected and you're not thinking through things clearly and logically and the other person, your friend can see more clearly, and while they're emotionally connected to you personally, they're not emotionally connected to your problem at the moment. So they can see things more objectively and you're more apt to listen to them because you do have the emotional connection to them so they can help dig you out of your hole. It's one of the few cases where logic can't get you out of a place that emotion has gotten you into.

Sometimes it's enough to hit the pause button on your life for 15 minutes. And then jump back into it with a renewed sense and an understanding that the earth is still spinning around the sun. It's still spinning around the universe and everything. It's good to actually get back to that sense of perspective because sometimes it is just that the dishwasher broke where that seems like such an enormous ginormous unsolvable problem, but really, it's good to have somebody remind you that everything has a solution. This is where comfort comes in; how our friendships are a source of comfort.So let's get into the definition of comfort: from the 13th century, the meaning is to cheer up, console, soothe, to soothe when in grief or trouble; to help, to strengthen. The noun, which originated if you look at the etymology of it, circa 1200 is the feeling of relief in affliction or sorrow, solace, pleasure, and enjoyment. To solace is to help; to strengthen. And isn't that what we do for each other? 
From old English word in the same sense was frofor, meaning the state of enjoyment resulting from the satisfaction of bodily wants and freedom from anxiety. And then there's the middle English meaning, which means strength, support encouragement. 
Dictionary.com defines comfort as a verb to soothe, console, reassure, and bring cheer to. And then the noun is the relief in affliction consolation solace. 
So what is comfort? Psychologist, Kolcaba, talked about three elements of comfort that revolves around relief, ease, and transcendence.
Tune in to this episode on how we can find comfort on our own and within our relationships. 
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodca...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Comfort]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size:small;">The whole sense of comfort and having a friend who is your witness in life is that there is a treasure in when you and a friend are not on equal footing when they are not in the thick of things that you're in the midst of. There's a balance. This is a balancing gift. This is one of the many ways the action of comfort can really be felt. Sometimes when friends are not equal, one tends to assume, especially in the beginning when one friend may assume that you're weak or you don't know how to do something because you may not be in that exact state of mind to be showing your expertise. So then they take the role of “I know better” and they assume the role of mentor. And so these roles get established. As time goes on, you develop ways in which you can unfold in front of one another, and you can see your gifts and you can see as time goes on, that one person is strong one moment, the other person is weak and then it flips. It's the turning of the world. It's the rising and setting of the sun. It's the same way with our lives and our experiences and our friendships. Our relationships are like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Oftentimes you get put in a situation where you're emotionally connected and you're not thinking through things clearly and logically and the other person, your friend can see more clearly, and while they're emotionally connected to you personally, they're not emotionally connected to your problem at the moment. So they can see things more objectively and you're more apt to listen to them because you do have the emotional connection to them so they can help dig you out of your hole. It's one of the few cases where logic can't get you out of a place that emotion has gotten you into.</span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Sometimes it's enough to hit the pause button on your life for 15 minutes. And then jump back into it with a renewed sense and an understanding that the earth is still spinning around the sun. It's still spinning around the universe and everything. It's good to actually get back to that sense of perspective because sometimes it is just that the dishwasher broke where that seems like such an enormous ginormous unsolvable problem, but really, it's good to have somebody remind you that everything has a solution. This is where comfort comes in; how our friendships are a source of comfort.<br /><br />So let's get into the definition of comfort: from the 13th century, the meaning is to cheer up, console, soothe, to soothe when in grief or trouble; to help, to strengthen. The noun, which originated if you look at the etymology of it, circa 1200 is the feeling of relief in affliction or sorrow, solace, pleasure, and enjoyment. To solace is to help; to strengthen. And isn't that what we do for each other? </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">From old English word in the same sense was <em>frofor</em>, meaning the state of enjoyment resulting from the satisfaction of bodily wants and freedom from anxiety. And then there's the middle English meaning, which means strength, support encouragement. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Dictionary.com defines comfort as a verb to soothe, console, reassure, and bring cheer to. And then the noun is the relief in affliction consolation solace. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">So what is comfort? Psychologist, Kolcaba, talked about three elements of comfort that revolves around relief, ease, and transcendence.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">Tune in to this episode on how we can find comfort on our own and within our relationships. </span></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br /></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast">https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/">https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe">https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/</a></strong></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/bbedb2da-0038-472b-96cb-814c4683e72e/Comfort-in-Friendship.mp3" length="32665685"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The whole sense of comfort and having a friend who is your witness in life is that there is a treasure in when you and a friend are not on equal footing when they are not in the thick of things that you're in the midst of. There's a balance. This is a balancing gift. This is one of the many ways the action of comfort can really be felt. Sometimes when friends are not equal, one tends to assume, especially in the beginning when one friend may assume that you're weak or you don't know how to do something because you may not be in that exact state of mind to be showing your expertise. So then they take the role of “I know better” and they assume the role of mentor. And so these roles get established. As time goes on, you develop ways in which you can unfold in front of one another, and you can see your gifts and you can see as time goes on, that one person is strong one moment, the other person is weak and then it flips. It's the turning of the world. It's the rising and setting of the sun. It's the same way with our lives and our experiences and our friendships. Our relationships are like that.
Oftentimes you get put in a situation where you're emotionally connected and you're not thinking through things clearly and logically and the other person, your friend can see more clearly, and while they're emotionally connected to you personally, they're not emotionally connected to your problem at the moment. So they can see things more objectively and you're more apt to listen to them because you do have the emotional connection to them so they can help dig you out of your hole. It's one of the few cases where logic can't get you out of a place that emotion has gotten you into.

Sometimes it's enough to hit the pause button on your life for 15 minutes. And then jump back into it with a renewed sense and an understanding that the earth is still spinning around the sun. It's still spinning around the universe and everything. It's good to actually get back to that sense of perspective because sometimes it is just that the dishwasher broke where that seems like such an enormous ginormous unsolvable problem, but really, it's good to have somebody remind you that everything has a solution. This is where comfort comes in; how our friendships are a source of comfort.So let's get into the definition of comfort: from the 13th century, the meaning is to cheer up, console, soothe, to soothe when in grief or trouble; to help, to strengthen. The noun, which originated if you look at the etymology of it, circa 1200 is the feeling of relief in affliction or sorrow, solace, pleasure, and enjoyment. To solace is to help; to strengthen. And isn't that what we do for each other? 
From old English word in the same sense was frofor, meaning the state of enjoyment resulting from the satisfaction of bodily wants and freedom from anxiety. And then there's the middle English meaning, which means strength, support encouragement. 
Dictionary.com defines comfort as a verb to soothe, console, reassure, and bring cheer to. And then the noun is the relief in affliction consolation solace. 
So what is comfort? Psychologist, Kolcaba, talked about three elements of comfort that revolves around relief, ease, and transcendence.
Tune in to this episode on how we can find comfort on our own and within our relationships. 
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodca...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:34:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[How to Tell What Kind of Friendship You have]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Jun 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/how-to-tell-what-kind-of-friendship-you-have</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/how-to-tell-what-kind-of-friendship-you-have</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>There are three types of friends. There are those people who are friends with you because they get stuff from you. There are those people who are friends with you because of the way you make them feel. And there are the people who just love you. Okay. Those would be the three types of friends and obviously, we would love and if every single one of our friends was quote-unquote type three, who loves us, just cuz.<br />So how do we figure this out?<br /><br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br /></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast">https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/">https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe">https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/</a></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>How to Tell What Kind of Friend You Have - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Enjoying your coffee?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Maybe a little.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi, good morning. Good morning over here, where we are right now. Good evening. Good afternoon. And hello everyone. How are you? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Ah, welcome back everybody. So, how do you know, how do you know, what kind of friend you have, Matt??</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> How do you know? Well, first, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, first of all, Matt always has a way to spot things out immediately. And then when you ask and then he'll like tell you the most messed up stuff about someone that you think, well, I think is okay, cause I have this Disney or Pollyanna version of the world. And then he'll whisper to me later.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How this person is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Uh, sometimes, sometimes not, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">some, well, I'm just saying like the times I've been totally shocked by your assessment within a few seconds. And the weird thing is you're right. How do you do it? And then when I ask you for advice, you never have anything for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">me, </span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[There are three types of friends. There are those people who are friends with you because they get stuff from you. There are those people who are friends with you because of the way you make them feel. And there are the people who just love you. Okay. Those would be the three types of friends and obviously, we would love and if every single one of our friends was quote-unquote type three, who loves us, just cuz.So how do we figure this out?https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
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How to Tell What Kind of Friend You Have - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Enjoying your coffee?
[00:00:06] Matt: Maybe a little.
[00:00:07] Fawn: Hi, good morning. Good morning over here, where we are right now. Good evening. Good afternoon. And hello everyone. How are you? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Ah, welcome back everybody. So, how do you know, how do you know, what kind of friend you have, Matt??
[00:00:26] Matt: How do you know? Well, first, 
[00:00:28] Fawn: well, first of all, Matt always has a way to spot things out immediately. And then when you ask and then he'll like tell you the most messed up stuff about someone that you think, well, I think is okay, cause I have this Disney or Pollyanna version of the world. And then he'll whisper to me later.
How this person is 
[00:00:51] Matt: no good.
 Uh, sometimes, sometimes not, 
[00:00:54] Fawn: well, 
some, well, I'm just saying like the times I've been totally shocked by your assessment within a few seconds. And the weird thing is you're right. How do you do it? And then when I ask you for advice, you never have anything for 
me, 
[00:01:08]]]>
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                    <![CDATA[How to Tell What Kind of Friendship You have]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>There are three types of friends. There are those people who are friends with you because they get stuff from you. There are those people who are friends with you because of the way you make them feel. And there are the people who just love you. Okay. Those would be the three types of friends and obviously, we would love and if every single one of our friends was quote-unquote type three, who loves us, just cuz.<br />So how do we figure this out?<br /><br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br /></strong></p>
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<p><strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/">https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe">https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/</a></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>How to Tell What Kind of Friend You Have - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Enjoying your coffee?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Maybe a little.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi, good morning. Good morning over here, where we are right now. Good evening. Good afternoon. And hello everyone. How are you? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Ah, welcome back everybody. So, how do you know, how do you know, what kind of friend you have, Matt??</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> How do you know? Well, first, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, first of all, Matt always has a way to spot things out immediately. And then when you ask and then he'll like tell you the most messed up stuff about someone that you think, well, I think is okay, cause I have this Disney or Pollyanna version of the world. And then he'll whisper to me later.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How this person is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Uh, sometimes, sometimes not, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">some, well, I'm just saying like the times I've been totally shocked by your assessment within a few seconds. And the weird thing is you're right. How do you do it? And then when I ask you for advice, you never have anything for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's unique to each situation or each person, but you know what, back it up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's describe the three types of friends. Shall we? Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you want me to do it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Of course I want you to,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do you know what? You all have been calling me the mouth. Cause like, apparently I talk way more than you on the podcast. So why don't you describe it for once? Go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Aristotle. Nicomachean </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">ethics </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nicomachean</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes. The mouth. Anyways describes three types of friends. There are those people who are friends with you because they get stuff from you. There are those people who are friends with you because of the way you make them feel. And there are the people who just love you. Okay. Those would be the three types of friends and obviously we would love</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and if every single one of our friends was quote unquote type three, who loves us, just cuz. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Uh, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's how I think everybody is until I get a big slap in the face. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So how do we figure this out? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How do you do it, Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, first of all, I, unlike yourself, I dip my pinky toe in the water. Now, what do you do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I jump right in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you jump right in. Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I welcome. You. I'm like, where the hell have you been???? YAY!!!!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. Now do you remember Sturgeon's law? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's terrible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Duh, do you remember Sturgeon's law? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You bring it up all the time. We had our </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Theodore Sturgeon science fiction, author Sturgeon's law and okay. It's not really a law, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a theory it's whatever you want to call it. But he says that 90% of anything is terrible. Wow. That's a very depressing way to look at the world. Isn't it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">a terrible, terrible view of the world. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But start thinking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it through, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but you know what, when I'm mad, I'm like, yeah, that's true. But when I'm feeling better, I'm like, that's a terrible, terrible thing to say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It is flipping terrible. I'm not going to argue that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but things wrong with Sturgeon for him to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">say that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sturgeon was again a studier of human nature. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How, how did he study human nature? What did he do? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He might've been a psychologist. I'm not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So he just said that 90% of everything is crap </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> of anything is crap, not everything, but anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So fill in the blanks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's terrible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, he was also talking about it from his personal experience and his personal knowledge, because hold on, hold on, hold on. The music I listen to, 90% of the world would say it was terrible. They just would. And if you think about it, it's like, okay, fine. You love classical music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You hate classical music. , for any given person, I would say 90% of the music that's out there to them is going to be crap. So it becomes a much more personal thing. Okay. For starters. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But it's hard to extricate yourself from the situation. Like, I'm not going to tell you that, I don't know, picking something around Sawyer Brown country, country, Western music, although country Western fans might not say that because they're a little poppy, you know, I understand objectively that they're a good band.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I would never listen to them. And I would, I personally would never quantify them as being good because it's not my style of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">music. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But you wouldn't go around labeling that as terrible. Or bad. Oh Lord. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Objectives. I understand </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this spoken from a true heavy metal guy. You are so snobby about music, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> honestly, for five seconds, there was a song called something like, um, "Some Girls Do" I've thought had a catchy beat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wow that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for five seconds. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I mean, there, there are some glaring exceptions in, uh, the music I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> listen, you don't want to listen to anything that you like, or even movies, even you ruin for me. Like you don't want to be sitting next to Matt because he'll constantly the words out of your mouth is what does this dribble about? (Matt is laughing)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everything I love. It's really crazy sad. It makes me crazy. Let me enjoy my stuff. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">anyways, back to how we figure this out. First of all, me personally, I dip my pinky toe in. Okay. Like, okay. We were, I know your name. Okay. It's kind of a first that's, that's kind of the usual first step. And then we have a little banter and then we figure out that, you know, it's it's, to me, it's about gates and gatekeepers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So there's a gate that says, okay, do we want to, exchange information or something? Right? I mean, in a way, friends is like dating and we've we talk about this. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's how we started. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">However dating, usually infers there's a first date so you don't get to, you don't necessarily do this acquaintance </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can I just interject? So if you want to hear about how we started go back to the very, very first episode, the very first one called "The Mentor". It's just me talking, "The Mouth" again, but I was just, I was just trying to explain what we're going to be talking about on this podcast. So the very first episode called the mentor.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's me talk. I'm not that I'm the mentor, but I tell you who the mentor was as inspiration for this friendship movement that we began. And really it was because out of frustration, we lived on Bainbridge Island, Washington state, and you know, before we got there, we had no trouble making friends. We made friends, like family type friends, wherever we went and all of a sudden it wasn't happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we blamed ourselves for the longest time, for whatever reasons like, okay, well maybe because we're new, maybe because we're married, maybe because. Maybe, because that's the culture here in Washington state and we don't understand it. Maybe we're offending people, maybe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no, there's no, maybe to the offending.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm sure we did offend people, but that's beside the point, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we didn't have lots of laughs at the grocery stores, um, going in there together. Like one of the big maybes was maybe because um, later on when we became, when I became pregnant and we have Elle, we thought, well, maybe because we're parents now, maybe that's why, but we started to really look around and then we worked, worked really worked on developing new friendships.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it wasn't happening. We couldn't even invite someone to come over for a nice, beautiful dinner to save our lives. Like it was nuts. And so one day we're walking. We took walks every day, really pretty on Bainbridge island. The culture I got to tell you guys when we lived there, I don't know if it's changed, but it was not pretty; the culture</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, uh, But it led us to saying what is going on here? And I said to you, oh my goodness. It's like dating all over again, but this time to find a friend, like I thought it was hard to find. If you think there's just one true love for you, or maybe there's more than one, but you're trying to find that person, you think that's hard?.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I traveled. I, as a photographer, I was always traveling. I was always looking for my love. And then here we were, I'm like, this is even harder. What is happening? And then it led us to do lots of introspection, but also it led us to really talking to a whole bunch of people, looking at other countries, looking at what's really going on in society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's when we realized, wow, there's something deeper happening in our society. So anyway, that's what Matt is looking at as what? Stop it. Well, I just wanted to give context because I don't know what you've listened to. So I don't know that I have to give you some, some background. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. But we're talking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like, once you've made that initial connection, it's you you'd need to almost treat it like it's a first date and you need to, in my mind, you need to establish the quote-unquote rules, the groundwork, and you want to make your</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">communications at this point, explicit. And for me, this is the real key: slow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't do slow,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can't, it's not in me, nothing about me is slow. Well, nevermind. Don't get any wrong ideas. I don't know. It depends how cute. Okay. Hey. Hey. Hey. Calm down. All right. So what I'm saying is, you know, I move fast, you know, I get an idea I'm on it. You, God knows how our marriage is working (Matt is laughing). I swear sometimes Matt, I get so angry with Matt, like so angry and distraught because I'm, I, I have a different beat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I have a completely different beat than you, Matt. I like to move on an idea immediately. I like to just, if we're going to move I'm military, I pack up our stuff in 24 hours ready to go. You're like, it'll take you years. Cause you're pontificating and you're, I don't know what you're doing, honestly, but like for us to like work together and to dance together, it's quite a feat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anyway, so you're slow go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> (Matt is laughing) So that's how you leave it to me. Fair enough. Fair enough. Can't argue that fact slow, but deliberate. Okay. And it's about feeling the give and take the ebb and the flow of it to me. And, you know, I think that to build a good friendship or a great friendship just takes time, takes events.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But again, it all means moving slow, because guess what? I think all friendships start out in that, I'm friends with you because you make me feel good about myself or, um, you make me feel good period, or I'm getting something from you. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Come on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> When that becomes a two way street, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't come at it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I, that's why he jumped in because I, I genuinely look at everyone as a movie and like, they're the star of a movie and I'm intrigued. I never think about what can I get from this person? How do I feel about it? I'm like, look at this. And I think that the photographer and me that's, that's how it happens because I immediately start noticing things </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And vibes, and it has nothing to do with me. I'm just like in love with what I'm looking at. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I completely get it. Take it to that next level. I'm not looking at you to see what I can get from you, but if you offer something to me that shows me that you want to deepen the friendship. If you say something like if you pay me a compliment or, you know, whatever, again, deepening your, you, you want this, uh, I call it an acquaintance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You want our acquaintanceship to grow to a friendship and it's a very deliberate dance as far as I'm concerned in the same way that dating is a very deliberate dance, for me at least.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, she's just looking at me folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I. And I guess that's how we got </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">together. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And it's about then for me personally, I mean, I'm very analytic. God help me about the whole thing, but you know, I'll literally replay, I replay conversations I have with people during the day and I'm like, did I come across?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How did I come across? How did I not come across? Because I've, it's been pointed out that sometimes I'm inelegant in my speech. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you are sometimes when you're deep in coding and you're working, working working, the way, your tone. And you'll never, you never believe me when I say you have a tone right now, I don't like your tone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Then we got into a fight because you totally say, no, I do not have a tone. I'm like, you can't hear your own tone. So we get into a fight about it. And it never gets resolved actually, because you refuse to admit that you have a tone and happens because when you're so in your head, And you are saying something that genuinely is a nice thing, or it's a neutral thing, even it comes across so bad.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's it's bad. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So anyways, it's about replaying. It's about understanding. I mean, um, one of my really good friends, we initially, became friends because he was showing me things on the computer. And very cool stuff. And this was my friend, Chris. I want to say that my initial friendship Steeny you know, he made me feel good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, he complimented me all the time and he holds me in very high self-esteem, which is extremely cool. Cause he is a very cool guy too. So there's that it became mutual, but it didn't necessarily start there, but it's about baby steps in it's about having an understanding and it's, for me also, if I feel like I'm giving more in a friendship than I'm getting, and this is in the early acquaintance stages here, folks, you know, I really take a hard look at that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">If I'm constantly every three weeks pinging you saying, Hey, how's it going? You know, at some point I understand that it's not a two-way street. It's a one-way street. And if that's the case, then, we're moving further away from a deep </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> friendship,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I guess, both ways work because I jump in there and I get hurt a lot because I assume everybody's my best friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I realized later that, wow, I had a completely different viewpoint. I had a completely existence in that relationship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Than they did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And when I find myself getting so tired or like, so constantly disappointed, or I'm waiting for something good to happen, like I'm waiting for them to have a good response in return to me, or, you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, I don't know what I'm saying, actually. I don't know how to say it when I'm constantly waiting for them to be an above and beyond family type of friend. And that doesn't happen over and over and over again. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I get so sad. And then I have to come to terms, you know, come to my whatever moment it is,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you want to call it and realize, okay, it was a number one friend was a number two friend. I was their number three. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And do I want to continue the friendship? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And usually I get to a point where I'm so hurt that I'm out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right? Exactly. And, and bear in mind folks that, you know, I think I started as a jump in plunge and I didn't even think about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, I managed to get everything shredded when I was in like 7th grade</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wow. So after all these years I'm still going, I was still holding the torch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yep. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I got burned once I'm done. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wow</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know it's twisted, isn't it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or is it me that's twisted? I'm like still going. I think, I dunno. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's it's not that I don't have the capacity and it's not that I don't have the desire to have type three friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm in the process of developing a new type three friend, frankly, right now. But it's, it's a slow deliberate process in the same way our dating was a very slow and deliberate process. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">because I had no idea what was happening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I had given up on love. I was just trying to learn some martial arts and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thrust into this other whole world of like this other school (Matt and Fawn make a high pitched agreement humming sound). </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can't do it in my mind. That's what I wanted to say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> See, you didn't do your vocal exercises this morning and you're drinking coffee. You're not supposed to drink coffee when you're doing voice stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> (Matt clears his voice and speaks very deeply) I see. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. So I forgot what we were saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, it worked because I had no idea what was happening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Everyone knew that we were getting together, but me! (Fawn and Matt start laughing) and then I ended up with, I ended up with one of my best friends, this gorgeous guy that I had been friends with for a long time. And then when things went to the next, next level, I remember telling Sarah. She was driving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I told Sarah what happened. And she immediately said, don't tell Matt. I'm like why, what, what? Huh. And she got quiet because she realized, oh, she said something she shouldn't have, you know, like she let it out of the bag. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that is the, that is the danger. And there's no danger with that with friends because you can have a kajillion friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Life is good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wait, what's the danger?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well that, you know, in the, in the dating context, perhaps not the smartest move, although it was my move. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What moved to like take </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it slow forever? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> take it slow forever. Exactly. And by the way forever was what was it? Six months? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, like I said, I, I, I don't move slowly. I feel like I have so much to do in life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't have time. So, I mean, I have time for everyone mostly, but I don't have time to like deliberately slow things down. I have things to do. I want to see things. I want to do things in world and if you're not on board with me then, okay. But I'm here to let you know exactly who I am in the instant you meet me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if you're on board, let's go. You want to like, go on this adventure with me great, let's go. Do you know what I mean? And most people do. And then I realized, oh, they don't have the stamina. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Like they just wanted to be whisked along. They didn't want to actually actively participate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's the trick and, and it, to me again, ebb and flow, you know, it's one of those things, you know, you've, you've got to get close to as good as you give. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what is your advice to me? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Slow down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, what's another. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, wait. Oh, cut that out. I started singing a song. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Besides that, give me some other bit of advice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Then you start getting Mackie. It's almost see, then you run in, you start getting into the difficulty of it becoming almost Machiavellian, what you're doing, which means like, in my mind, at least very sinister, very underhanded, because you really look for opportunities for, you know, this person to show you how they're being your friend, as opposed to letting them reveal themselves, which is what I let them do, which takes time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay, so what am I doing again? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Slowing down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, no, what am I actually doing? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Slowing down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm not slowing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">down though. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, then. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What am I doing? I'm just quick. What you just described? I got lost. Cause I got lost in the word you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">used</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Machiavelli Machiavellian or Machiavellian after Nikola Machiavelli, the author of "The Prince". Like mastermind of political savagery, basically </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">from Venice. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Give me more background. What is, what's the theory there </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">again?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's just, you be very deliberate and you know, you'd literally almost keep a tally of what they've done for you and what you've done for them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sheldon Cooper from "The Big Bang Theory"</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and I, I, that's not a place I want to live. I just, I want things to reveal themselves. And, but I'm going to be careful, like if I've like hipped you to like three or four really cool things, you know, , give and take, and maybe you don't know any cool stuff and, and I'll understand that and we'll get, you know, we'll move over that or through that, but you have to make yourself vulnerable too</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do you think something is wrong with me that do you think I'm not as pure of heart?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When, so I have noticed this with a couple of friends that I've had to let go of the past couple of months. Like two of them. I noticed that I noticed that I was, I felt, I felt, I'm sure they have their own perspective, but I felt like I was constantly offering cool new things or like offering them things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And they were just quiet and then they would implement them </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Without saying, oh my God, thank you. Like, I, this was inspiration from you, Fawn. I got nothing. Right. Do you know what I mean? And then I was feeling resentful because they were doing things that I was sharing with them that right. And because, because that, because of the fact that they didn't reciprocate my kind of love back to me, you know, my kind of friendship love, I started to get really annoyed when things started popping up</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">on their podcasts and on their businesses that was my idea that I was sharing with them. So then I got really, what's the word I'm not offended, but yes, I was offended </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> jealous? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, because I was doing it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just, I got really resentful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. And to me. This is one of the dangers we have in this kind of Facebook, well, edited lives everybody has, frankly, like nobody likes to talk about the suck, like when their lives suck, you know, and, and I'm as guilty as everyone else. Absolutely. Um, you know, for me personally, I got laid off two months ago.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Boom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was more than. Uh, and actually it feels like years. It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> was April 18th. Okay. But anyways, and, and this was right after, uh, like literally it was either a week or two weeks after my mom's funeral. Boom, boom. So yeah, that's the suck, but you know what? My friends knew all about it. My friends knew all about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, my acquaintances ,depends, you know, it's because we don't like being, we don't like making ourselves vulnerable. Now, we're okay making ourselves vulnerable, if the other person makes themselves vulnerable too. But that's the problem is people rarely own up. People never own up to strangers their vulnerability unless like they have to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So, you know, if you're. Standing in line in the unemployment office, the guy next to you obviously is doing the same thing, right? So it's almost like it's okay to open up your vulnerabilities. And actually, you know, I've noticed on LinkedIn, people are saying that they're quote unquote, open to work, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause there's been an interesting spat of layoffs in the tech sector. and that's a very strong thing. It's a very bold thing and that's something that should be applauded, but that's very rare. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I want to say, that's how normally I make friends is,I'm in a vulnerable state and I share it, but I'm not necessarily living there forever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and then you run into the alpha friend and the beta friend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, who think by the way that they're here to teach me stuff where in fact, I know a lot of stuff, but because I'm B I'm vulnerable, they think that I'm some dumb blond that doesn't know anything. Do you know what I'm saying? And then once again, I get resentful </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you're playing into again, contemporary power dynamics.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People feel comfortable in these high school style friendships, and I'm, I guess I'm playing to the high school style friendship. And you don't, you play to the adult friendship and most people aren't ready to deal with that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">don't know if I played to the adult friendship. I don't even know what that is, but I will say that, uh, I just have no time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So if I'm vulnerable and you're standing there thinking I'm some dumb ass, you know what I'm saying? Because in that moment, I'm totally revealing to you that things are not so great for me, but I'm not living there. I'm not saying this is my entire life, this life forever, but I'm like, oh my God, this really sucks right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You know what I'm saying? And if, if I see that the person holds me there forever or from that moment decides that they're the ones who are going to teach me something constantly and that they're surprised, or they ignore actually when they see that I've done or accomplished these things, whatever they may be, it doesn't matter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They ignore it. Right. Because they're still in that, that mindset that they know better. That you're a know nothing. And that's when I know. Okay, this person is not my friend for me. Like, I don't want that kind of friend because that lets me know that they're not loving. They're not really seeing me. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm like, okay, thanks. So in my way, and my fast moving of friendship that's my way. I seriously, like I have big things to do on this planet. I don't have time to take it slow for you. You're going to have to jump in and unfortunately I will get hurt when I realize maybe you're not in it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not in it to win it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there you go. And that takes me to another interesting point I hadn't considered, which was not only that you make yourself vulnerable, but we also expect our friends, our type three friends, our friends who love us because they love us, those people should and do afford us the opportunity to evolve and grow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's a big thing. Cause I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's a gem right there, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think that, um, I, I like to afford people the opportunity to, to grow and show me cool stuff and, show me next level and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And I think again, Sturgeon's law takes over. 90% of people have a hard time with that. And they don't understand how power dynamics change.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They don't understand how people necessarily change. Not necessarily even become brand new people, but , just. Go next level. And sometimes we get resentful because we feel like they're leaving us behind. Sometimes when we're the ones doing the growing, we look at them and we're like, but, but they're stuck exactly where they were before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And again, there's tricky, uncomfortable dynamic, but I think if we truly love each other, then we're okay either way. We celebrate their successes, they celebrate ours. We maybe, and I would hope it's definitely, but we do what we can to push them to the next level because we just want them to do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have an example of that before we go. So the last few months I made a new friend, a treasure, like, like gold. Amazing. And she's that kind of person that doesn't judge. Well, I'm sure she judges. She was loving me, even though she misunderstood what I was. And luckily I was paying attention. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean about this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So what had happened was she realized that I was vegan and that our whole family was vegan forever. And she didn't really understand the whole vegan concept </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because it's, it's, it's a weird one to grasp if you're on the standard American diet, for sure. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, it also depends. What, what kind of vibe you grew up with and where in the country you live, you know, that has something to do with it as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And also the stigma of being in Colorado, there are so many people that think that automatically everyone is on drugs. Everyone is high. So when my friend realized I was vegan, she, I noticed every time we talked about her food, she got very defensive. And I thought maybe she was thinking that I was one of those stand on a soap box, kind of vegan, like "meat is murder" kind of person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm like, wait a minute. I'm obviously not like that. So what is her deal? Like, why did she get so quiet when I talk about food or like wanting to share it with her, she was like, oh no, I don't do that. I'm like, you don't do that. Like, what do you mean you don't do that? You don't do broccoli. Like what, and what was going on</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">was she thought </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">(Matt starts laughing)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that's right. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">remember now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> She thought that being vegan meant we put marijuana in all of our food. And so when I found that bit out, I started laughing so hard and I immediately told Elle and Alegra. They're like, wait a minute, so she thought that you would give your babies, like when they were infants marijuana?????</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, yeah, I think she did.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But she was still willing to be my friend, because that was so like the whole marijuana culture is so against her her thing, you know, like it's just a no-no for her, but the fact that she was still willing to be my friend and totally there and like open and like loving I'm like, that's a good friend right there, even though there was a big misunderstanding.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? So anyway, we cleared it up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Lord and for the record folks, yeah. There's no marijuana consumption in this house. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I can't even, I can barely have a sip of coffee. Like I feel like, I feel like I just evaporate. Like I can't, I can't handle it. How in the world and you know, the fact that she thought and every meal they were like and everything, you know, and I'm not talking about, CBD, which doesn't get you high.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She thought it was like the THC stuff. You know how people cook with it now they're like huge gourmet areas where THC, they put that into everything. Oh my goodness. She thought that anyway, it's so far from us, you know, but anyway, but when that happen? I'm like, that's a good friend right there. She was still open-minded and</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like in it, you know what I'm saying? Until somehow it came up and I'm like, oh my God, all this time, is that what you've been thinking? She's like, well, yeah. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yeah. Well, I mean, we remember, uh, Maya, Everybody was like, you're studying yoga. I guess that means you've turned against the church.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Both have interesting assumptions, but please take the time to confirm or, you know, your assumptions before you just, you know, block somebody out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So funny to me, like all that stuff, you guys go back and listen to Maya Brauer. She is the head of the Yoga Alliance. We did a few interviews with her, but she was telling me, and I knew this too, from teaching yoga.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are people who think that it is devil worshiping. If you're doing yoga, it's like against their religion. And so when she was doing, and she was talking to us about how her family had to do an intervention, because they felt like she was going to the dark side because she was practicing yoga. Anyway, so, yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. How do we wrap this up into a little bow? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Take it slow folks. Take it slow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or not... (Fawn and Matt start laughing),</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but take moments to evaluate and really try and gain a good understanding of what your given, what you're getting. And not that it needs to always be in balance because there are times that your friends need you. And there are times that you need your friends. I mean, that's life, but you know, if you notice that you're rushing in to deepen the friendship and they're standoffish, then maybe there's a reason for that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or you can play like me, just go wild and just see what happens. You know, life it's meant to be lived and experienced. Just, um, just, just keep the Nicomachean rule of three in mind while you're doing it. All right. We're going to go. We have a lot to take care of around here guys. Oh, dear. Wish us luck. We're trying to find where we belong on the planet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">All right. Thank you. Go to the website. There's a workbook there for you. A no-nonsense guide called "The Ikigai of Friendship - A Workbook" that's there waiting for you, our friendly world podcast.com. Thanks again for listening</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">guys, love you. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[There are three types of friends. There are those people who are friends with you because they get stuff from you. There are those people who are friends with you because of the way you make them feel. And there are the people who just love you. Okay. Those would be the three types of friends and obviously, we would love and if every single one of our friends was quote-unquote type three, who loves us, just cuz.So how do we figure this out?https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
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How to Tell What Kind of Friend You Have - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Enjoying your coffee?
[00:00:06] Matt: Maybe a little.
[00:00:07] Fawn: Hi, good morning. Good morning over here, where we are right now. Good evening. Good afternoon. And hello everyone. How are you? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Ah, welcome back everybody. So, how do you know, how do you know, what kind of friend you have, Matt??
[00:00:26] Matt: How do you know? Well, first, 
[00:00:28] Fawn: well, first of all, Matt always has a way to spot things out immediately. And then when you ask and then he'll like tell you the most messed up stuff about someone that you think, well, I think is okay, cause I have this Disney or Pollyanna version of the world. And then he'll whisper to me later.
How this person is 
[00:00:51] Matt: no good.
 Uh, sometimes, sometimes not, 
[00:00:54] Fawn: well, 
some, well, I'm just saying like the times I've been totally shocked by your assessment within a few seconds. And the weird thing is you're right. How do you do it? And then when I ask you for advice, you never have anything for 
me, 
[00:01:08]]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:36:13</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Authenticity in Friendship - 4 Key Things to Notice]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Jun 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-authenticity-in-friendship-4-key-things-to-notice</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-authenticity-in-friendship-4-key-things-to-notice</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Did you know that our cells, (the cells in our bodies) create light? Science today is telling us that even our cells emit light when they perform their functions. Neurons in the brain and spinal nerves have been found to produce photons. Photons are tiny particles of light that influence our very atomic structure when they send impulses to each other. They're communicating through light!  "The Energy Codes" by Dr. Sue Morter. A little quote that actually blends into what we're talking about today, about authenticity. A quote from the book:</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">"The key to a fully empowered experience of life is embodying the energy that you are." When I read that to me, I get, to live fully, you have to be fully yourself. Don't hide. Don't try to edit yourself because you're afraid, afraid of not having this friend, or afraid of not having the job.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Also, what is the difference between authentic</span></span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"> and genuine?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We discuss 4 keys to noticing the authenticity in yourself and others.</span></span></p>
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<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">TRANSCRIPT</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Art of Authenticity</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. How can I thank you for listening and come across in the way that I really feel in my heart. How do I do that? Would that not sounding authentic? How do I do that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, yes, authenticity is in a challenging place for me right now. I happen to be, uh, uh, interviewing with different companies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's always a tricky thing. Tricky </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">spot</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm in a tricky spot with it myself, because I was being my normal self. I'm an open book and with a friend, if something bothers me, I talk about it in a gentle way. And I felt like the person wasn't hearing me. So I went to the next person in our little tiny circle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And they...</span></span></p>]]>
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                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Did you know that our cells, (the cells in our bodies) create light? Science today is telling us that even our cells emit light when they perform their functions. Neurons in the brain and spinal nerves have been found to produce photons. Photons are tiny particles of light that influence our very atomic structure when they send impulses to each other. They're communicating through light!  "The Energy Codes" by Dr. Sue Morter. A little quote that actually blends into what we're talking about today, about authenticity. A quote from the book:
"The key to a fully empowered experience of life is embodying the energy that you are." When I read that to me, I get, to live fully, you have to be fully yourself. Don't hide. Don't try to edit yourself because you're afraid, afraid of not having this friend, or afraid of not having the job.
Also, what is the difference between authentic and genuine?
We discuss 4 keys to noticing the authenticity in yourself and others.
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TRANSCRIPT
The Art of Authenticity
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back. 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello? 
[00:00:01] Fawn: Hello. How can I thank you for listening and come across in the way that I really feel in my heart. How do I do that? Would that not sounding authentic? How do I do that? 
[00:00:13] Matt: Uh, yes, authenticity is in a challenging place for me right now. I happen to be, uh, uh, interviewing with different companies.
So that's always a tricky thing. Tricky 
spot
[00:00:25] Fawn: I'm in a tricky spot with it myself, because I was being my normal self. I'm an open book and with a friend, if something bothers me, I talk about it in a gentle way. And I felt like the person wasn't hearing me. So I went to the next person in our little tiny circle.
Right. And they...]]>
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                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Authenticity in Friendship - 4 Key Things to Notice]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Did you know that our cells, (the cells in our bodies) create light? Science today is telling us that even our cells emit light when they perform their functions. Neurons in the brain and spinal nerves have been found to produce photons. Photons are tiny particles of light that influence our very atomic structure when they send impulses to each other. They're communicating through light!  "The Energy Codes" by Dr. Sue Morter. A little quote that actually blends into what we're talking about today, about authenticity. A quote from the book:</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">"The key to a fully empowered experience of life is embodying the energy that you are." When I read that to me, I get, to live fully, you have to be fully yourself. Don't hide. Don't try to edit yourself because you're afraid, afraid of not having this friend, or afraid of not having the job.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Also, what is the difference between authentic</span></span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"> and genuine?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We discuss 4 keys to noticing the authenticity in yourself and others.</span></span></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a><br /></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast">https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/">https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe">https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/</a></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">TRANSCRIPT</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Art of Authenticity</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. How can I thank you for listening and come across in the way that I really feel in my heart. How do I do that? Would that not sounding authentic? How do I do that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, yes, authenticity is in a challenging place for me right now. I happen to be, uh, uh, interviewing with different companies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's always a tricky thing. Tricky </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">spot</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm in a tricky spot with it myself, because I was being my normal self. I'm an open book and with a friend, if something bothers me, I talk about it in a gentle way. And I felt like the person wasn't hearing me. So I went to the next person in our little tiny circle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And they were not hearing me at all. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I said, I don't think you understand how bad my situation is right now. So you're not hearing what I'm saying. And boy, did she not like hearing that and it was the end of our friendship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. That is a challenging thing to hear, frankly. yeah, nobody likes to have their authenticity called into question for sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't call up their authenticity into question. I was just revealing my pain and it wasn't, it had nothing to do with them, but anyway, it definitely got to got me in a place where, wow, well, I don't want to share myself ever again. You know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyway, that's my challenging point right now, right? Why is yours that way? I know, you know, Matt is looking for a job, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> everybody. Hey, anyways, um, no, I'm a hundred percent authentic when I'm talking to the people. It's the follow-ups that are tricky. And it's the understanding that, maybe this is not the right opportunity or this isn't a dream opportunity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As it were. Right. And these are people who are already heavily invested in whatever place they're at. And so they're all a hundred percent on board theoretically, so it can be hard to sound enthusiastic about being there with an understanding that in all likelihood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I won't be because I'm looking at many opportunities right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also most people are not living authentically. They're not being their true, authentic selves, but they pretend they are to save their job. They pretend they are to save their relationships. They pretend they are because they don't want to be exposed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anything it's risky. It's risky to be authentic, to be totally yourself, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because it can get you fired. It can get you out of a relationship, you know, it's quite painful. And it also, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and it also exposes you completely like, if you're so desperate to fill in the blank, to get this job to, be with this person, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it doesn't happen. BOOM that's that's a hard </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So by going back, I, we want to express to you how grateful we are that you're listening to our show right now. Thank you. I am in awe. It's not like I have poured a whole bunch of money in looking at analytics for our show, but looking at it, I know you're listening every single day and I am so grateful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you. Having us be heard. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening. It means, yeah. I feel like she started to tear up folks. I am starting to tear up, but I feel like whatever comes out of my mouth is going to sound so cheesy and inauthentic, but it really is. I'm so grateful. Okay. So here we go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's just get into the topic for today. of course I always say, okay, let's get into it. But, but first I wanted to ask you, did you know that our cells, you know, the cells in our bodies, so science today is telling us that even our cells emit light when they perform their functions, neurons in the brain and spinal nerves have been found to produce photons. Photons are tiny particles of light that influence our very atomic structure when they send impulses to each other, they're communicating through light. There's this quote from the book, "The Energy Codes by Dr. Sue Morter. A little quote that actually blends into what we're talking about today, about authenticity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The key to a fully empowered experience of life is embodying the energy that you are. When I read that to me, I get, to live fully, you have to be fully yourself. Don't hide. Don't try to edit yourself because you're afraid, afraid of not having this friend or afraid of not having the job.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Although the job thing that's, that's affecting. If you're American, that's affecting your life. You could die if you don't have a job because you won't have health insurance or you won't, you know what I mean? You won't have a place to live. There's nothing out there that's a safety net for us Americans, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It sucks </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">right. But there's a difference. Yeah. In my mind, at least. And then maybe it's just how I'm dealing with things. I am a hundred percent authentic, you know, I am showing them who I am and some people are some people like that. And some people don't like that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Most people don't do that, Matt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, that's true. That's one of my differentiators.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. So the art of authenticity, here we go, did you have something else to add before I get into it? All right. The art of developing your presence, the art of authenticity. Authentic, the definition; I was looking around for several different definitions. And I was going back and forth between authentic and genuine, genuine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do you pronounce it? Genuine or genuine? I dunno. Okay. So here we go. You know what I'm talking about? Authentic means conforming to reality and therefore worthy of trust, reliance, or belief. Okay. Then genuine is belonging to, or proceeding from the original stock. Native, not counterfeit, not false. And at first I wanted to say that being genuine is radically different than being authentic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then later as I was looking, I slept on it. I actually slept. And then I realized, okay, this is what genuine and authenticity is like why I was tripping on both of them. And I came to a conclusion. I'll tell you about it in just a second, but one more definition of authentic. Here we go. Authentic: it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you're true to your own personality, values and spirit regardless of the pressure that you're under to act otherwise. I'm going to say it again, being Being authentic: you're true to your own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure that you're under to act otherwise. You're honest with yourself and with others and you take responsibility for your actions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's about your values, ideals and actions. It's where your values, ideas, and actions align. That is being authentic. And so. I thought, why am I tripping on authentic versus genuine</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">why did I trip on the difference between authentic and genuine? Because when you look up the etymology of authentic, it, it says, oh, to be genuine. And I that no, that doesn't ring totally perfect with me. So I had thought about it. And if you look at the definition of genuine, it means belonging to, or proceeding from the original stock.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's native. It's not counterfeit, it's not false. But what really got me was it belongs to. What does it belong to? It belongs to yourself. When you're genuine, you belong to yourself. When you're genuine, you belong to yourself. You're fully empowered. You fully embody the energy that you are, and that is authentic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think what I'm trying to say is that this is one of the key, key, key things of having true friendship is being authentic first with yourself. There are things that we have to tell ourselves or acknowledge about our own selves before we can seek out or even recognize authenticity in another person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then therefore you can understand is the friendship authentic. If the person isn't being authentic with themselves, there's no way that they can do that on the outside world and accept someone else's authenticity because they're not even accepting their own. And how can you even have a friendship and know what an authentic friendship is if you can't even take it to yourself and to others? How can you bring into the circle of friendship, having it be a true, genuine friendship, if this is not practiced, if this is not done. So the questions that I ask is, are you the same person when you were by yourself, as when you're in front of someone else, when you're in front of other people? Do you change when you're in front of other people, do you use different language when you're in front of other people?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you wear something that you would never wear on your own? Can you dress in front of other people the way you dress when you're by yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you change things about yourself? Is there a facade? Is there a wall? And this is why it's so important to be alone. Like, you know, when people date they're like, you should really spend time with yourself and date yourself, you know, get to know yourself before going out there </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">again,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm a big believer in that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Me too. I mean, not that it happened on purpose, but it just happened. So I'm like, okay, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, I, I wouldn't necessarily classify it as dating myself, but I would classify it as being comfortable and having a clear understanding of exactly who you are, owning your inner Popeye. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Having </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">a good time on your own is key, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because if you don't, if you have to appreciate your own company, I got to a point like, again, not by choice, not like I was like, you know what? I'm not going to hang out with you. I'm not going to date you. I'm going to take time for myself. No, it just happened. And I was like, wow, I'm by myself, nobody around.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And like, if I were to describe it, it was like just being in the desert. Like that, that time in my life was like, I'm just by myself, on an island. Oh, well, what are you going to do? There are no planes flying over you can say help to. It was just me. And, and then after awhile, I'm like, I don't know if it was like too much loneliness, but I started cracking myself up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was like, I'm funny. I appreciate my own sense of humor, Ooh, we can watch this movie. I love that movie too. Do you know what I mean? Is it,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just started having a good time by myself. I have the similar interest in art. I,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was fantastic. You know, and because I had that, I was more, um, I had more capacity to appreciate something I didn't appreciate hanging out with someone else. You know what I mean? Because that's what they appreciated because I got to totally go to the movies that I wanted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I got to say what I wanted. I got to think what I wanted. I got to do whatever I wanted because I had that space and you don't have to be in a desert like existence, like I did to achieve that. You have to just look to yourself and go, what, what do you want, what would you like to do? You know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like or what do you really want? What do you like to do? What do you really think? You know what I'm saying? Without having anything punish you out there for thinking whatever you want to think, but you know what that's, what it is. People are afraid to be their authentic selves because they get punished.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You get fired from a job. You got people yelling at you for having a belief that you have, but when you practice doing it on your own, it kind of goes away. It does. I mean, you, you may still have people yelling at you about what do you mean? Do you know what I'm saying? But because you embody yourself and you're centered in that it doesn't bother you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It doesn't shake </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Uh, yeah, a lot of what you're describing, I certainly went through when I lived alone. Uh, you know, I moved out of my parents' house and I had my own place. And yeah, you spend an awful lot of time like sorting things out. How I describe it to people like, a friend of mine just recently, unfortunately, or fortunately, I don't know, separated from her husband and she got her own place and it was the first time she'd ever lived alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she was, I don't know, late twenties, early thirties. And I was like prepared. It gets a little lonely at first, at first, because you have to get comfortable with being alone and not being lonely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And that takes a minute. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, we all know you can be with a bunch of people and feel lonely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But if you know your authentic self, if you embody yourself, there's a party. There's a party at my house over here in my own self. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know what I'm saying, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and it just, it can take a minute to get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">comfortable with that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but then it could also happen in a flash, like at, okay. At the risk of sounding schizophrenic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've told you this story before, but it helps, for example, like the reason why I'm saying there could be a party inside you. I had an entourage, like in a split second, I decided I need an entourage. I need, I need protection. You guys. Well, I was just newly, like 18. I was 18 graduated from high school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had to hide the fact that I got into one of the toughest best art schools in the country. Like one of the best, and to even interview with this place, I knew that I had to go in person to interview. Because if they looked at my portfolio alone, I knew, I knew they would never accept me. The school is very fine, arts oriented, and my stuff was very commercial looking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I knew I had to sell it. And from an early age, I realized, even though people kept telling me Fawn, you really need to learn to be a really great salesperson because I worked with a lot of cameras, salespeople. I don't know, especially back then, sales had a very bad connotation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, salespeople were like the shady, used car sales people of the 1970s, you know, like the very cheesy you see in movies. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and that's because they weren't being authentic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Exactly. And things have changed now, hopefully. Right. But I dunno, it's trickier now. It's trickier to see the sleeze sometimes because they can use certain words, certain terminology to make.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, T to use the colloquial colloquial, colloquial colloquial. Oh my God. Close Colac, who we are. They use those certain terms or certain key words to get a rise out of people. Do you know what I'm saying? It's a little bit more tricky. I think, to spot authenticity in sales, right now. But anyway, going back when people told me that I got really offended, but at the same time, I was kind of understanding that I have to be there and I didn't use the word sell, but I had to be there looking back on it. I can say I had to be there in person to sell my work, to sell what I was about to sell what my work was about. And I did. And so I secretly flu to another city and met with the Dean of the school and got accepted on the spot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. And then I have to figure out how to actually move there. I was on my own guys, like my family, pretty much disowned me. So, I left. I packed up whatever little bit that I had and I moved to San Francisco. I had traveled quite a bit before. But all of a sudden I was so scared and I felt stuck and not able to move around.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I just felt stuck. I was like, oh my God, how do I get from point a to point B? Like even the simple stuff I was like, how do I find out where my luggage is? How do I find out where in the airport that the carousel is to find my luggage? What if I don't get there in time? What if the connecting flights don't work well, how do I find my stuff?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because I was so scared and I was so alone. I just felt like I, I didn't know anything. And so here's what, where the entourage comes in because all of a sudden, well, first of all, several amazing things happened on that flight. One is I was sitting next to a person that was older. They looked at my photography work and they were like, wow, you're really talented.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that, it just means I needed to hear that I needed some confirmation from people because I wasn't getting it from my family. For sure. So that happened. And before the flight took off the, the pilot started whistling as we were taking off, like every little thing that I was used to, I was used to being on a plane.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was used to like the plane taking off, but everything because I was feeling alone, felt very unknown to me. So as the plane was taking off, I was getting more and more scared because I was like, where am I going? I don't even know where I'm going to sleep. I don't know anything. Nobody is helping me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's no one waiting for me. On the other side, I worked throughout high school to raise enough cash for tuition, like plunking down cash to the school. It was scary. So the plane is taking off and the pilot starts whistling "Off Into the Wild Blue Yonder". Here we go. I can't out into the, he started whistling the song.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's American song about flying in the air force. Anyway, if you heard it, you would know it, Matt and I can't do it cause we're not allowed anyone who's music on this show. Anyway, when I got down to the airport at my destination, I remembered what a friend of mine said, don't worry about it. If you don't know, just follow the herd. Right. And she's right. And I, every time, since then, every time we travel anywhere, I kind of chuckle to myself because I remember my friend Arianne saying, just follow the herd. And it's true. When you get off the plane, the herd kind of leads you to baggage claim.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And so I did. I got all my stuff, but I was thinking I need help. So all of a sudden, I split into all these different Fawns. There was one Fawn that was like the six foot four tall man who was security. And this Fawn walked with me. I was safe. I was protected by the security Fawn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then there was another Fawn that was like holding a clipboard, holding a clipboard and knowing exactly what our agenda is like at this time we're going to go here. And then there was one Fawn that was in charge of baggage. So she collected all the bags. Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There was a Fawn for everything and I felt better. I felt like, okay, I'm a powerhouse. Do you know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I completely get it. Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I forgot why we started talking about this whole part. Do you, do you remember why we started talking about, but I think it was about like having a party within yourself </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> being comfortable being alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. and realizing every aspect of yourself. And from that, I think one of the things that is key is to think about what it is that you're really thinking when you're in front of other people, when you meet someone else or , you're in a new situation, think to yourself, do you act in a way where you have to prove yourself in any way?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you, are you going about life, trying to prove yourself? Another one is, are you going through life feeling like you are protecting something? Are you going through life feeling like you have to defend something? Are you going through life thinking you have to hide something? Look at those four things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Prove protect, defend, hide. Those are the main four things. Are you doing any of those and really getting to a point where you embody yourself, you embody your life. You don't have to do any of these things, but it's really important to find out if you are indeed acting, speaking in a way where you're constantly trying to prove protect, defend, or hide, and those things can get in the way of being genuine, being authentic. When you share more of you, and that is your complete self, when you're embodied in that complete self of yours, you're a powerhouse. You're compassionate. You have more flexibility.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're more comfortable and you attract so many others that are like you. And it's easier to find authentic situations, not just authentic friendships, but just authentic experiences, authentic jobs things will fall into place, but that means. That you share your joys. That means that you share your mistakes, your greatness, you share your greatness, you share your vulnerabilities.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People don't want to do that because they think it's risky. They get in trouble. When you show your vulnerability, people can pounce on you or do something to hurt you. But if you're so centered in that, and you're showing your vulnerability, they can't hurt you. They can't. So showing your fears, once you face these vulnerabilities and these fears, they disappear, but it is authentic to share them because it's, it's still what you are feeling, what you're going through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Showing your brilliance, showing all of it. That is being genuine. That is being authentic, but you really need to anchor yourself in your true being in your own self to be strong in that. I know it's risky. But it is the key to having a true friendship. It is key, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">risky and it's so easy to hide behind being snarky all the time or being self-deprecating all the time or editing your life in such a way that you only show the highlight reel. I mean, there's a certain comfort in that there's some comfort in being like, always like, Ooh, yes, I am the greatest or.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Mocking yourself and actually making yourself sound worse in a self-deprecating way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's also a great comfort in living with misery, because you're used to that misery. You're not used to something that's totally different. You're afraid to walk and dip your toes into water. That is a different temperature.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's uncomfortable. Right. But it doesn't mean it's good for you to just stay in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One of the people that I really love as Lisa Nichols, she's a great public speaker. I'm going to tell you something that she taught. It's an exercise. You have to do it every day. You have to do it when you wake up, you have to do it in the morning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Whenever you wake up, whenever you look at yourself in the mirror, it's an exercise you're supposed to do every day, right? Until you feel better until you, you realize what your authenticity is and it's this. You start off by stating your name to yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're talking to yourself, you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you're talking to yourself as if you are talking to your best friend. You state your name. So my best friend. Okay. I'll say Fawn, I'm proud that you, and then you fill in the blank, but you have to come up with seven different things that you're proud of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, until you achieve something like, you know, okay. I'm centered now. So Fawn, I'm proud that you fill in the blank. Seven different things. Okay. Let me see. Actually, I haven't done this yet, so I'm going to do it off the cuff right now. Okay. Fawn, I'm proud that you took off to San Francisco without having any support whatsoever. I'm so proud of you for doing that. That took balls right there. Fawn, I'm proud of you for starting this podcast. No one could understand what I was talking about when I was talking about the art of friendship. No one understood what I was getting at. So I'm proud Fawn, I'm proud of you for doing that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm proud of you for not listening to the nay sayers. Anyway, you do it like seven times, seven different outcomes, Fawn, I'm proud of you for leaving terrible relationships. Fawn, I'm proud of you for drawing a line and creating your own family circle where the family that you came from was not okay. Was creating a life that was not okay. And even though you come from a culture that never turns its back on its family members, I'm proud of you for being brave enough to just walk away from that negative situation and creating your own life even though you've had so many challenges because you were alone, even with you, Matt, you and I have been alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There have been no grandparents or anybody to help us raise our kids, not even anyone to babysit for us. It was just you and me. Fawn, I'm proud of you for still having an open heart when people have totally been mean to you. I'm proud of you for standing up to those yoga people that were so. Bad. I want to say racist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'll call out. Fawn, I'm so proud of you for standing up to that and saying, no, this is wrong. I'm proud of you for sticking to your own virtues. I, up to seven. This is hard. It's not seven yet. Well, you get the point, right? Okay. So the next sentence you have to say is your name.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then you have to say, I forgive you for filling in the blank, Fawn, I forgive you for, oh my God. This is hard. You want to go?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you, you state your name. And you say, I forgive you for fill in the blank, seven different things. So there are three sentences that you say, I forgive you for</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">beating yourself up so much and not sleeping and purposely staying up for the last seven years because you're afraid to go to sleep because you're afraid of. You're going to lose control of your life, that you feel like you have to stand on guard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">fine. I forgive you for sometimes losing your temper in bad situations. Fawn, I forgive you for not being the success that you thought you would be with your career.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I starting to cry. So I guess this is my authentic self. This is when things get hard. When you're saying this is when, you know, you're being authentic when it's really hard. And that's the point of this? Uh, the thirds, I couldn't go through seven because I can't talk into the mic when I'm crying. Okay. Um, the third one is you state your name and you say, I commit to you that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So Fawn, I commit to you that from now on, I'm going to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. State your name, I commit to you that. So you're looking at yourself and you're saying these things. So the three sentences, again, are your name, I'm proud that you fill in the blank. I forgive you for fill in the blank.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then the third one is you state your name. I commit to you that fill in the blank, seven different things. You do this every morning, and then you're supposed to write down four things that really got to you. Like for me, it was about my career. I started crying at a certain point. Right down the four things that really got to you, and that is where you start finding your true, authentic self.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">When you really feel them, you can embody them. When I come to my own authentic, genuine feelings,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">there's nothing anyone else can tell me that will shake me. It's like, yeah. What's so what's new. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, okay. It's like Cyrano de Bergerac when the guy's making fun of his nose and Cyrano de Bergerac says, is that all you've got my nose is big? Really? That's all you've got. Do you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He's not shaken by that. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's more than just, that's all you've got, he actually outlines like 13 better insults when it bleeds. The red sea is the one I always remember, you know? Oh. Or an excellent display for perfumery. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This episode today turned into a how to, but, uh, what do you think.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, this is all certainly good as a step in, I would say my step in was very different. You know, the way I really explored what I call my inner Popeye, because Popeye yam what he am. He's, you know, he is who he is and he has a clear understanding of that. And, and my way in was not every morning going through an exercise.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was just, it was a whole process and it was a process I went through when I lived alone, because yeah, it afforded me the opportunity to really dive in. And then even more recently, I did a checkup on it, which is really going through and pondering decisions you've made choices.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You've made the goods, the bads, the indifference with an understanding that had you made any of them differently that your life would be in a different place?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And it tends to bring up things I feel bad about, and it tends to bring up, things I am proud for. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">there you go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You have to take the charge out of the things that you feel bad about. Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> absolutely. And you know, that's just part of everything </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had a friend who would constantly like, he knew the points that were vulnerable and he would go for them in a joking ish manner. But there was a sting to it until there wasn't a sting to it. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you guys w you had this banter back and forth where you would totally rag on each other, but nobody's feelings would be hurt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's not a hundred percent true. Sometimes feelings would get hurt and things would get really raw, but the friendship was bigger than that. It wasn't something that could be, you know, it wasn't a friendship that could be shredded by an errant comment or even a biting comment. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. So this is where I have a question.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So my friendship with someone totally got shredded because she snapped at me when I was being vulnerable. She snapped. And came at, came back at me with, cause I said to her, you don't understand. And not every friendship is this way first of all, because I remember like, let's take Holly as an example, years ago, I got fired from this job and I was devastated and I called her still at my desk saying they just fired me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she was so happy on the phone. She's telling me, congratulations. This is wonderful. Thank God. And I was like, I came back at her like, you're awful right now. Why are you being so mean to me? Do you know what I mean? But she didn't say she didn't come back and get offended and like end the friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When I said. You're terrible right now. I'm in pain. You're not even, you don't even understand. I told her you don't understand, and that didn't offend her. It actually did did this thing where she embraced me and explained why it's good news. Do you know what I mean? She held me and our friendship got better even better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whereas last week, I told someone you don't understand when they were clearly not understanding my problem, , my situation, they did not understand. And I said, yeah, you don't understand. And from me, say, texting, yeah, you don't understand. She came at me with such a venom that it was the end of the friendship for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I don't have the capacity to be having an authentic friendship with this person because she just flew off the rails for me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. But again, there's so much nuance to that first of all well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> first of all, she was like, how dare you assume what I do and do not understand. I will never do that to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, she just went nuts on me. So I'm like, you know what? I can't fight any of this. Like I can't like, she hurt me so badly that I'm like, I can't fix this. I don't have the capacity to fix this because obviously the years that I've known her, maybe weren't as authentic as I thought, because here the authenticity came and boom, this happened, I'm sorry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please tell me what you were going to say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, first of all, I have issues with texting, but let's just throw those away for a second. Cause it's impossible to hear tone from a text. I said, let's put that aside.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Respect mutual respect is what gets you through those moments? You know, I remember getting so pissed at this friend because I was already feeling stressed about something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think it was something about being late, which is one of these core things that I adhere to. So it's one of these like huge pet peeves that I have that I understand. and I remember just exploding all over him. And he just kind of listened and he understood, and he made a one smart Alec comment and I shut that down with anger and then he just backed off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He gave me my space, he respected me enough to give me my space. And I finally came back to center and, you know, I apologize cause I was way out of line. But at the time I wasn't feeling heard, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So, tricky but mutual respect factors into that. And that is something that occurs through time with people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I was going through an interesting moment recently and I was talking to a buddy of mine and I kept saying, you know, this is all the weird stuff I've got going on just to express it and to, you know, shared pain is lessened, so sharing pain and then saying, but at least I'm not a fan of the sports team, which is his sports.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then he laughed and I laughed and that was good. So I did inject a little levity at the end of it, but still being completely authentic and that comes through, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I guess the question is, what do you do when you are usually authentic and then you get hurt and , you don't want to be authentic</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">so you end the friendship. Cause we were like, well, authenticity doesn't work. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And, and that is humongously tricky. And sometimes a relationship needs to end. Some, all relationships, all friendships are not forever. There are friendships that are and there are others that aren't. People come and go as, as needed into your life sometimes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then sometimes it's about everybody taking a step away. Like I took a step away and I was like, dang, I was kind of a meanie. So I need to come back and make it okay. Because I treasure and I value this friendship and, you know, boom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So yeah, I can't be friends with this person because I don't feel like it's strong enough </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it's the kind of situation where the person thinks that they are in the right and I'm completely in the wrong where it's both, I can see where I'm wrong. I can see where I don't have the strength right now to be forgiving and to still respect this person. And I started to come up with all the things that I don't respect about this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't think that I have it in me to be fully loving towards this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, you just said there are things I don't respect. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, and, uh, you know, I think to be friends with somebody is to respect them warts and all, as they say, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and I thought I did, I thought I did, but I realized I don't because certain things are deal breakers for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so it's. It's done, you know, is that okay?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> As I said, some friendships, some relationships are, people are meant to come in and out and when things change, things </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">change,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but I realized all along, they never considered it the type of friendship that I thought it was. And that's what really hurts. And here I am saying, you know, going back to the Nico back-end ethics, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Know what kind of friend you have. And I didn't want to face the fact that I had signs all along that this person was in it for not the same reasons I was in. Right. But I ignored it because I just wanted to have a sisterhood. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. I completely get it for me. I mean, you are, you're the cliff diver who like jumps from a hundred feet up into the water, plunges down 20 feet, you know, whereas I dip my toe in the water and if that's okay, then I put my foot in the water and I finally get to a point where, you know, I can embrace, I can submerge, I can, whatever, but it all takes time for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's, it's a different way of doing it and it's not, absolutely not your way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I feel like there's so much to do in life. I don't have time for that. Right. You know, I, I, I want to take a dive in and if you're with me, you're with me, but I got to say living that way, it can be painful sometimes, because then you get into the situation that I get into.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh it's. It's like, literally I'm so like stoked that, uh, All work seems to be remote now because day one at any job, they always took me out to lunch and taking me out to lunch with me as a vegan means, I get to, I have to tell them I'm a vegan. There is so much like burden that goes along with that because people make assumptions in the same way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People make assumptions about born again, Christians, or, you know, and a lot of that is not factored for me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The thing is that you have to hide the fact that you have this lifestyle that you have to defend it because most people think vegans are crazy people. But that's just it. You have to protect yourself and you have to prove to them that you're like this human being that doesn't stand on a soapbox and say, meat is murder, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you know, well, and, but that's just it authentically.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am that guy. I don't stand on a soapbox and say, meat is murder. If you want to talk about, you know, the standard American diet, we can talk about it. If you don't want to, if you want to deny it a million other things, then that's fine </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The prove, the protect, the defend, the hide.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are the aspects that come in again. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. But that's just it, I don't hide it. It's just</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because you're authentic</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it, I don't come into the place with vegan, a vegan button on, or, you know, a magic light behind me that says, yes, he's vegan. I allow it to emerge organically so that, you know, because it's not.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is certainly a part of me, but the key initial things that people discover about me are he's helpful. He's friendly, he's interested. He's curious. Those are more central than, and he's never late. And he doesn't like it when you're late. Um, those are the things that are central and, you know, being vegan is one of like a kajillion aspects.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't tell people the music I listen to either. I don't tell them that I follow the tour de France. It just typically doesn't come up at first. I'm not going to give somebody the laundry list of this is exactly who I am. I, you know, that comes through </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I guess that's part of what resumes were for.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So they know like maybe there should be resumes for friendships. You know, like, this is me, this is my path. This is what I do. This is who I am. And they know this stuff exists and you'll figure it out as time goes on, I guess. I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> This conversation went a completely different direction. I thought it would </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay. You always say that every time we talk, where did you think authenticity would go to what I said? You know, we should be talking about authenticity </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I was expecting to talking about rock and roll, but that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a whole other story.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What were you going to say about rock and roll praise? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The key thing that differentiates, differentiates, excuse me, rock and roll from like pop music. Is that rock and roll is, and this is encyclopedia Britannica people. They say that rock and roll is authentic and pop is not. Pop is constructed and being authentic means being true to one's personality, spirit, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and character.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Maybe they should say rock and roll is genuine because it belongs to, or not the other way around. There's genuine, which is belonging to. Being native and authenticity is conforming to the reality worthy of trust, reliance, or belief. So maybe the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> different, different, we, we, we pulled our definitions from different places.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like genuine means it comes from this original source. So maybe the words should be different. That they use for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> rock and roll any, any anyways, it's likely encyclopedia, Britannica states rock and roll is authentic and pop isn't necessarily. And so they even cited. It was funny because it's older, but they actually even cited that Madonna can be considered a rock artist because it comes from an authentic place in her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like I said, genuine. Belonging to coming from the original stock native and authentic is conforming to reality and therefore worthy of trust, reliance, or belief. I'm just saying maybe the words should be used differently.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I dunno, it was getting too complicated. What I'm saying? Do you understand what I'm? You don't understand what I'm saying? I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> do. I just, yeah, I have different. I have a different definition. First of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> all, we can't talk about art and art is so changeable depending on your mood. You know, you can't say art is this. Art is constantly changing and evolving, transforming. You</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">can't say this is rock and roll. It's just one person's definition. Isn't it? Hello, encyclopedia. You know what that's like saying that's like Bible, something right there. I don't care if it's in the encyclopedia Britannica one man wrote that probably. Oh Matt has given me the death look, whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Some people wrote it with a specific point of view. On what defines life like you? Can't life is you cannot define life. You cannot define it. You sure as heck can't define art. It is different for everyone. Rock and roll maybe meaning something so different to someone else. It's how you feel. If you feel rock and roll.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If that's what the term you put on it, it's rock and roll. I don't think Madonna is rock and roll. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, but they said she was a rock artist. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. I don't care. We're getting into like, exactly, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like I said, religion off on a tangent, so you can cut this whole segment out </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and you will well, anyway, again, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Actually entered it so beautifully before he asked me if I had anything else to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> say. So anyway, authentically. Sincerely, thank you for listening to us as always go to our friendly world podcast.com to get ahold of us, to talk to us and to support us in any way you want, whether that's coming on our show, donating anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Thank you so much for listening. Thank you. Thank you for hearing us and having us be heard. Really appreciate you. Talk to you soon. Be well, bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/a7feb48b-4e4f-4311-8cac-d40fb3545a0e/The-Art-of-Authenticity.mp3" length="45364135"
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Did you know that our cells, (the cells in our bodies) create light? Science today is telling us that even our cells emit light when they perform their functions. Neurons in the brain and spinal nerves have been found to produce photons. Photons are tiny particles of light that influence our very atomic structure when they send impulses to each other. They're communicating through light!  "The Energy Codes" by Dr. Sue Morter. A little quote that actually blends into what we're talking about today, about authenticity. A quote from the book:
"The key to a fully empowered experience of life is embodying the energy that you are." When I read that to me, I get, to live fully, you have to be fully yourself. Don't hide. Don't try to edit yourself because you're afraid, afraid of not having this friend, or afraid of not having the job.
Also, what is the difference between authentic and genuine?
We discuss 4 keys to noticing the authenticity in yourself and others.
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
The Art of Authenticity
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back. 
[00:00:01] Matt: Hello? 
[00:00:01] Fawn: Hello. How can I thank you for listening and come across in the way that I really feel in my heart. How do I do that? Would that not sounding authentic? How do I do that? 
[00:00:13] Matt: Uh, yes, authenticity is in a challenging place for me right now. I happen to be, uh, uh, interviewing with different companies.
So that's always a tricky thing. Tricky 
spot
[00:00:25] Fawn: I'm in a tricky spot with it myself, because I was being my normal self. I'm an open book and with a friend, if something bothers me, I talk about it in a gentle way. And I felt like the person wasn't hearing me. So I went to the next person in our little tiny circle.
Right. And they...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:47:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Wabi-Sabi Friend, How to Appreciate Every Connection and Situation in Life]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Jun 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-wabi-sabi-friend-how-to-appreciate-every-connection-and-situation-in-life</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-wabi-sabi-friend-how-to-appreciate-every-connection-and-situation-in-life</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="color:#0000cc;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><em><strong>The Japanese aesthetic principle embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things; recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken.<br /><br /><br />Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. (I repeat) Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. Wabi-Sabi W A B I - S A B I Wabi-Sabi is the Japanese aesthetic principle that embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things. Recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken; the beauty of imperfection, the beauty of quote-unquote imperfection, the understanding and appreciation, and respect<br /><br />for, or of the transience, the imperfection, as we see it and recognizing the beauty of it all. That's Wabi-Sabi.<br /><br />Wabi-sabi stems from the Buddhist understanding of three life principles. One is impermanence. Two is, suffering. Three is emptiness or absence,<br /><br />but the meaning over time has transformed into finding joy in solitude, appreciating nature, lauding, old-age wisdom, accepting that things come and go, and loving them honestly, and deeply while they last. Wabi-Sabi recognizes that nothing lasts forever. And so it is rare and beautiful.<br /><br /> Some of the traits include modesty, subtle grace, acceptance,<br /><br />earthiness and peacefulness. We can find wabi-sabi and everything. We can find it in aesthetics like when things are not symmetrical when there's asymmetry happening, that's wabi-sabi. You can find wabi-sabi in poetry. Every word is chosen after careful consideration and carries multiple meanings and intentions. You can find wabi-sabi in pop culture<br /><br />when you are seeking the not so perfect.<br /><br /> As we, take in wabi-sabi and friendship, let's first look at how to ground ourselves and appreciate our lives as they are; as is; the big dreams, the big plans for the future, and every worry. Appreciate where you are right now. How can we do that? How can you appreciate where you are. That's part of wabi-sabi. Stop worrying about being so perfect.<br /><br />It can block you. It can block you if you're trying to write a book. It blocks you in the art that you create. It blocks you from starting a brand new, beautiful journal when you are afraid to make one mark because you are seeking that perfection and you will end up not making any marks at all. And then if you do make all the perfect marks, does that really show your personality?<br /><br />Does that really show the feeling, the emotion of basically all the things that you need when you're creating art?<br /><br /> Stop boring about being so perfect. It blocks you. <br /><br />Highlighting the importance of every moment, even the hardships. <br /><br />Accept things as they are, and as they </strong></em><strong>come.</strong><strong><em> <br /><br />Appreciate your life where it is now and work towards your goals from there. <br /><br />Strive for excellence, but don't get caught up in perfectionism.<br /><br />Live your own perfect life with all its precious imperfections. <br /><br />It sounds like I'm telling you what to do. Really. I'm telling myself what to do right now because we're in the midst of such a limbo that this is why we're talking about what we're talking about today because it's a lesson that I had to make myself sit down and bring to use. Appreciating what doesn't seem so great.</em></strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript: Wabi Sabi Friend</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Brilliant moment. It was a brilliant moment for you. </span></span></p>
<p><span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The Japanese aesthetic principle embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things; recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken.Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. (I repeat) Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. Wabi-Sabi W A B I - S A B I Wabi-Sabi is the Japanese aesthetic principle that embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things. Recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken; the beauty of imperfection, the beauty of quote-unquote imperfection, the understanding and appreciation, and respectfor, or of the transience, the imperfection, as we see it and recognizing the beauty of it all. That's Wabi-Sabi.Wabi-sabi stems from the Buddhist understanding of three life principles. One is impermanence. Two is, suffering. Three is emptiness or absence,but the meaning over time has transformed into finding joy in solitude, appreciating nature, lauding, old-age wisdom, accepting that things come and go, and loving them honestly, and deeply while they last. Wabi-Sabi recognizes that nothing lasts forever. And so it is rare and beautiful. Some of the traits include modesty, subtle grace, acceptance,earthiness and peacefulness. We can find wabi-sabi and everything. We can find it in aesthetics like when things are not symmetrical when there's asymmetry happening, that's wabi-sabi. You can find wabi-sabi in poetry. Every word is chosen after careful consideration and carries multiple meanings and intentions. You can find wabi-sabi in pop culturewhen you are seeking the not so perfect. As we, take in wabi-sabi and friendship, let's first look at how to ground ourselves and appreciate our lives as they are; as is; the big dreams, the big plans for the future, and every worry. Appreciate where you are right now. How can we do that? How can you appreciate where you are. That's part of wabi-sabi. Stop worrying about being so perfect.It can block you. It can block you if you're trying to write a book. It blocks you in the art that you create. It blocks you from starting a brand new, beautiful journal when you are afraid to make one mark because you are seeking that perfection and you will end up not making any marks at all. And then if you do make all the perfect marks, does that really show your personality?Does that really show the feeling, the emotion of basically all the things that you need when you're creating art? Stop boring about being so perfect. It blocks you. Highlighting the importance of every moment, even the hardships. Accept things as they are, and as they come. Appreciate your life where it is now and work towards your goals from there. Strive for excellence, but don't get caught up in perfectionism.Live your own perfect life with all its precious imperfections. It sounds like I'm telling you what to do. Really. I'm telling myself what to do right now because we're in the midst of such a limbo that this is why we're talking about what we're talking about today because it's a lesson that I had to make myself sit down and bring to use. Appreciating what doesn't seem so great.
 
Transcript: Wabi Sabi Friend
[00:00:00] Fawn: Brilliant moment. It was a brilliant moment for you. 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Wabi-Sabi Friend, How to Appreciate Every Connection and Situation in Life]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="color:#0000cc;"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><em><strong>The Japanese aesthetic principle embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things; recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken.<br /><br /><br />Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. (I repeat) Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. Wabi-Sabi W A B I - S A B I Wabi-Sabi is the Japanese aesthetic principle that embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things. Recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken; the beauty of imperfection, the beauty of quote-unquote imperfection, the understanding and appreciation, and respect<br /><br />for, or of the transience, the imperfection, as we see it and recognizing the beauty of it all. That's Wabi-Sabi.<br /><br />Wabi-sabi stems from the Buddhist understanding of three life principles. One is impermanence. Two is, suffering. Three is emptiness or absence,<br /><br />but the meaning over time has transformed into finding joy in solitude, appreciating nature, lauding, old-age wisdom, accepting that things come and go, and loving them honestly, and deeply while they last. Wabi-Sabi recognizes that nothing lasts forever. And so it is rare and beautiful.<br /><br /> Some of the traits include modesty, subtle grace, acceptance,<br /><br />earthiness and peacefulness. We can find wabi-sabi and everything. We can find it in aesthetics like when things are not symmetrical when there's asymmetry happening, that's wabi-sabi. You can find wabi-sabi in poetry. Every word is chosen after careful consideration and carries multiple meanings and intentions. You can find wabi-sabi in pop culture<br /><br />when you are seeking the not so perfect.<br /><br /> As we, take in wabi-sabi and friendship, let's first look at how to ground ourselves and appreciate our lives as they are; as is; the big dreams, the big plans for the future, and every worry. Appreciate where you are right now. How can we do that? How can you appreciate where you are. That's part of wabi-sabi. Stop worrying about being so perfect.<br /><br />It can block you. It can block you if you're trying to write a book. It blocks you in the art that you create. It blocks you from starting a brand new, beautiful journal when you are afraid to make one mark because you are seeking that perfection and you will end up not making any marks at all. And then if you do make all the perfect marks, does that really show your personality?<br /><br />Does that really show the feeling, the emotion of basically all the things that you need when you're creating art?<br /><br /> Stop boring about being so perfect. It blocks you. <br /><br />Highlighting the importance of every moment, even the hardships. <br /><br />Accept things as they are, and as they </strong></em><strong>come.</strong><strong><em> <br /><br />Appreciate your life where it is now and work towards your goals from there. <br /><br />Strive for excellence, but don't get caught up in perfectionism.<br /><br />Live your own perfect life with all its precious imperfections. <br /><br />It sounds like I'm telling you what to do. Really. I'm telling myself what to do right now because we're in the midst of such a limbo that this is why we're talking about what we're talking about today because it's a lesson that I had to make myself sit down and bring to use. Appreciating what doesn't seem so great.</em></strong></span></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript: Wabi Sabi Friend</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Brilliant moment. It was a brilliant moment for you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, it was. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm glad you had a perfect moment. Matt's talking about listening to the "Dark Side of the Moon". Pink Floyd's "</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Dark Side of the Moon". </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's been years since he listened to it because the timing and the, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the moment, his fear time was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> brilliant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was perfect. And he listened to it for the first time since then </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it's been a long, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no, no, no, no, no. I haven't listened to it since. I listened to Pink floyd's "The Wall" yesterday. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why must you point that at me? Like you point that at me, like it hurts. Oh my God. I hate it when people point to my face.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I can feel it's sharp energy. Can I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> can I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> imagine he pointed his pen right at me and shook it? Can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I just tell the whole story of listening to Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon"? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Alright. We've already talked </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">about, we've already talked about this, but go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Fawn and I, took a train.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All the way up from Los Angeles to Seattle, which by the way is a very </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">long time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And because of other tracks, or I don't know what's happening, but there are so many delays, like it stops. And I was like, I kept looking out the window. I'm like, I can walk faster to Seattle than this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Anyway, anyway, on our way back. so going there, we were in the cattle car and going home. I was like, no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And on another show we talked about going up there, please listen to that in previous episodes. I don't remember which episode, but wow. If you want a little education on the heartbeat of race relations in America, and this was way before all the elections, the past few years.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wow. And Matt was the instigator. I'll tell my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> story</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">anyways. So coming home, we had our own room as it were, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we did?!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We did, we traveled first class</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stop. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">was because they gave us an upgrade because of all the fiascos that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">happened on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the way up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that was part of it anyways. It was nighttime Fawn was, in the club car, I think</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I made some friends </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and you were hanging out in the club car.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I laid in our little, and it was a little, little bed and I could look out the window and I listened toPink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" the whole thing. So you heard the clackity clack of the rails? It was nighttime. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How long is the whole album when you listen to, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> uh, since I haven't listened to it in many years, I want to say it clocks in at standard album length.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's probably, it's somewhere between 33 and 65 minutes. That's typically album length when, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> um, so it's like a movie minus, minus 30 </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> minutes. See, I listen to music all the time. My wife on the other hand, not so much. I mean, don't you remember? Like, nevermind. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">do listen to music. Why you say that? I do listen to music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. I don't have albums. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. I mean, how do you really get into the mindset of the albums? How do you get into the mindset of an artist? If you don't listen to the tracks laid out in the order that they, they specify. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. You know what? Everything for me is ART. All right. I don't need to just listen to albums and try to configure the, the mindset of whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. I'm dealing with my own mind. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, wait a second. So, you can almost say that, you're appreciating something in a very transitory nature. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Stop it. Stop. Hold on. Hold. Stop it. No, no, don't get. Yes, don't go over there with it though. Don't go over there yet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Transitory nature, which I believe segues as right into today's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> topic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what, let me turn this off. We're going to start again. BYE! (Fawn turns off the recording and they come back)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, my God, everybody welcome back. Help. You know, one of our friends that was listening (a new listener) told us it was so funny because I guess she caught an episode where we were fighting like that. And then we told everyone, we were just in a fight. Hello, good morning. And I was about to say, wow, we haven't fought in a long time, but here we go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As soon as I have that thought, there we go. We have another fight. So Matt. E. Okay. Don't hijack. What I'm trying to say. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Did you actually turn my microphone on? I can actually talk. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. All right. Good morning, everybody. Good evening. Hello to all the time zones. Hello. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome, happy day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yay. Love is winning today's show. Let's get into it. Let me start over. Here we go. A brief stop. Laughing. A brief pause.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The Japanese aesthetic principle that embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things; recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. (I repeat) Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. Wabi-Sabi W A B I - S A B I Wabi -Sabi the Japanese aesthetic principle that embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things. Recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete and the broken; the beauty of imperfection, the beauty of quote unquote imperfection, the understanding and appreciation and respect</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">for, or of the transience, the imperfection, as we see it and recognizing the beauty of it all. That's Wabi-Sabi.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wabi-sabi stems from the Buddhist understanding of three life principles. One is impermanence. Two is, suffering. Three is emptiness or absence,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but the meaning over time has transformed to finding joy in solitude, appreciating nature, lauding, old age wisdom, accepting that things come and go and loving them honestly, and deeply while they last. Wabi-Sabi recognizes that nothing lasts forever. And so it is rare and beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Some of the traits includes modesty, subtle grace, acceptance,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">earthiness and peacefulness. We can find wabi-sabi and everything. We can find it in aesthetics, like when things are not symmetrical, when there's asymmetry happening, that's wabi-sabi. You can find wabi-sabi in poetry. Every word chosen after careful consideration and carries multiple meanings and intentions. You can find wabi-sabi in pop culture</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">when you are seeking the not so perfect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">As we, take in wabi-sabi and friendship, let's first look at how to ground ourselves and appreciate our lives as they are; as is; the big dreams, the big plans for the future and every worries. Appreciate where you are right now. How can we do that? How can you appreciate where you are. That's part of wabi-sabi. Stop worrying about being so perfect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It can block you. It can block you if you're trying to write a book. It blocks you in the art that you create. It blocks you in starting a brand new, beautiful journal when you are afraid to make one mark, because you are seeking that perfection and you will end up not making any marks at all. And then if you do make all the perfect marks, does that really show the personality?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Does that really show the feeling, the emotion of basically all the things that you need when you're creating art?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Stop boring about being so perfect. It block you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Highlighting the importance of every moment, even the hardships. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Accept things as they are, and as they come. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Appreciate your life where it is now and work towards your goals from there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Strive for excellence, but don't get caught up in the perfectionism.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Live your own perfect life with all its precious imperfections. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><em>It sounds like I'm telling you what to do. Really. I'm telling myself what to do right now, because we're in the midst of such a limbo that this is why we're talking about what we're talking about today, because it's a lesson that I had to make myself sit down and bring to use. Appreciating what doesn't seem so great.</em></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><em>How can you love something that's unlovable?</em> Everyday seek out something that you don't want to love. I used to do that all the time in Santa Monica. Remember that studio that I always talk about. It's so beautiful. It was so great. I made it great after awhile. Like I fixed it up and made it look really nice and clean and beautiful, like a beautiful, beautiful photography studio.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I remember laying down in bed and looking at the cracked wall, the radiator where the wall was kind of falling apart and thinking, okay, if I was a director of a movie, how would I show this part as beautiful? How would I look at this ugly part of the apartment of which there were many parts ugly, but how can I make it seem so beautiful and romantic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then before I know. It wasn't just my mentality. Whoever came over was like, wow, this place is really beautiful. Do you know what I mean? It changes everything. When you appreciate the imperfect, it is quite extraordinary. And so let's get into the wabi-sabi of friendship because we're not perfect and everything is transitory.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's deep dive into wabi-sabi in life. All right, Matt. Matt's like Matt, we need to shoot video. That's really funny. His expressions. All right, go ahead, Matt, what do you say? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> (Matt is laughing) Well, Fawn, Hello, everybody. I'm actually now allowed to talk. This is a good thing. Yay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Stop it. Stop that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So in point of fact, as my, um, Co-Heart cohost has accurately stated, we talked about Wabi -Sabi. Now the actual word Wabi, it's actually a conjunction of two words.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not in like IKIGAI. Wabi actually the first. Literally translated into the bittersweet pleasure in being alone. So this'll be fun as far </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">as</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wait... so "Wabi" is about being alone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Bittersweet pleasure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The bittersweet pleasure of being </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">alone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Perfect. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And Sabi is the, it's almost like how everything looks better when you look back on it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's the "Noble Veneer that the passage of time lends to people and objects". </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What does that mean? Can you say that in a normal voice? I didn't understand what you just said, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but it's more fun to say it in that voice. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't, it did not register and compute. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's the Nobel veneer, meaning, you know, patina on something that the passage of time lends to people and objects.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you don't necessarily realize that the span of time that you're living is, one of the best times of your life, oftentimes until after it's over. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hm. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So it's this kind of looking back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So that's why we want to harness it and maneuver a time and space so we can appreciate it in the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right? Absolutely. Appreciate it in the moment. That's the key and not constantly compare it to, the greatest moment of your life because you know, a few moments can hold to that, but appreciate the moments for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">what they are. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. It sounds like we're so intelligent. I think we sound intelligent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We probably don't, but it's funny because let's be honest. How did we learn about wabi-sabi? We learned about it years ago, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Why I was reading, you know, my 800 page book on Zen Buddhism. Where did you find out about it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hank Hill. What was the name? When I show king of "King of the Hill" I don't know other countries listening "King of the Hill".</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know if you get that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Mike Judge actually, wrote, produced, et cetera, the show. And he's the guy who made Idiocracy, which was a interesting movie to say the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">least.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Really? I didn't know that idiocrasy, if you watch that, it's absurd and good. But yeah, it's an animation adult animation series kind of like the Simpsons, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but it takes place in Texas </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It takes place in Texas. And it's very stereotypical Texan family, I guess, except for they have this little boy who is not a typical Texan. And one day he started talking about wabi-sabi. What was that? He had a plant, he was growing a plant </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> again, atypical.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was growing a rose for a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">competition. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. He's the wabi-sabi. Bobby Hill is wabi-sabi </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and that's fair. So he was trying to grow a rose for competition, and then his dad got all involved and then there was a smoke shop involved because they supplied lights and things for the flowers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">keep what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but they keep kind of referencing he's really growing marijuana, even though he really isn't, which is truly funny. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">show was years ago before the legalization of marijuana in America. But let's give our audience some description of the dad. The dad is very stereotypical Texan.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He played high school football. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. He's very conservative. He wants men to be men. And he wants women to be women. Like he's very, he's very </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> tight </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He does loosen up over the course of the show, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but the show ran for many years. Is it still going? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it stopped. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Unfortunately it ended. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I remember how it ended years ago. Yeah. It was not happy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Didn't they kill off like major character, whatever. I don't know. It doesn't matter. I digress once again, but so, you know, the dad is very strict and he's just very conservative and his son is not into sports. He's very philosophical. He's a little girly. He's he has, uh, uh, actually they were way ahead of their time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He's actually a well-balanced human being. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He carries the yin and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">yang with him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, he definitely knows. He's very connected to his inner Popeye. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. He knows who he is. He knows his superstar. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I would say that he's just not hyper-masculine, it's just his interests and his desires aren't in line with his father's definition of what masculine is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He's a human, he is a hundred percent a human being and he doesn't care what others think. And remember that episode where he was. Did his dad want him to study wrestling, but he ended up going to another class and he studied, he was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> getting bullied and his father wanted him to fight back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he started to teach him how to box, because that's how you, that's, how it's done. That was in his mind, how it was done, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> how to fight like a man. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And so he gave up and he said, go take a self-defense class at the YMCA. So he ends up in a women's self-defense class, where he learns how to</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">defend himself in more of a Krav Maga format, which is you make use of whatever your opponent, all of your opponent's weak spots. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And part of it is you say whatever you have to say, you do whatever you have to do. And so we have lines in our family, like we'll just recite lines from our favorite shows, our favorite movies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And one of them is from Bobby Hill that always cracks us up, which is the way he says: "I don't know you!" Like, he's he yells this at an attacker. He goes, "I don't know you that's my purse." </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">then he attacks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But like, he'll say that line. Didn't he say that line in an actual attack? It wasn't a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> class he did, but again, in, I think in women's self defense at that moment in time, I don't know what it looks like now, but it's about letting your attacker know that you're not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">afraid of them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also you're not afraid to look </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and get you're gathering your power, as you're saying this, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">not afraid to look crazy. You're not afraid to look any way or you're not afraid to sound any way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're just, you're not sounding like a victim </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">at that point.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You don't care what someone else thinks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So therefore he would just yell. I don't know you that's my purse. So you, you make that loud statement, so people know something is happening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So going back to the wabi-sabi and how we found out what Bobby Bobby would wabi-sabi rhymes with Bobby actually means.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So he's growing this rose and his dad comes along and what happens, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">honey? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The dad reads the, all the, rules and regulations and how roses are judged. And it turns out is hyper-specific hyper serious. There is an absolute definition of a best rose and Hank takes over his child. Even though Bobby is saying, wouldn't it be fun if we did this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wouldn't it be cool. And, and the dad's like, we can't do that because, you know, you won't win. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hyper focused on winning. Whereas Bobby is more interested in the experience, and he's okay with winning or not winning. And then finally at the end, Hank does something and he screws up one of the interior pedals.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">My God do I know these things anyways. Or something happens to one of the interior pedals of this rose. And then Hank goes in with Clippers to quote unquote fix it. But he leaves a tell and then as it's getting judged, they notice it and he's like, But what about the Wabi Sabi? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> he Hank recoils into trying to use that as a defense of this rose, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but it was Bobby Bobby who told him about wabi-sabi initially.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then later on, the dad embraces </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> wabi-sabi hides behind it in point of fact, in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> my mind. Wait, who hides behind it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hank,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no, but like, I remember watching the show and little Bobby was saying, but it's wabi-sabi. And my ears perked up. I'm like, what is that? Is it, uh, what is that? And so he explained this is beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This flower is beautiful because it has wabi-sabi. It is not perfectly symmetrical that there's beauty in this rare being. There's beauty in this, normally asymmetrical way. It makes it unique. It's beautiful this way. And his dad was like, Nope, it needs to be perfectly this way. Right. To be judged and to be,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to win, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to win.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And so, so friends, that's how we found out about wabi-sabi. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's how Fawn out about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stop it. Did </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you really? Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But, you know, you can learn fascinating things everywhere. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's just, it, I think the whole point is, one of the aspects of wabi-sabi is looking for beauty, everywhere and the most mundane objects in, you know, the, the moment. And there are certain ways that are quote unquote accepted and certain ways that aren't. Like in point of fact, if you were crazy, like me and wake up super early, there is like a five minute span, if I look out the window. When the sun is rising, it is so... it was so beautiful the other day, five minutes. And that's all it was. And like the sky had the rest of it was on it. Well, it's just the sun's rising. It's just, it's, you know, a flashlight coming up on some level versus this just moment of, you know, the pink hues were melding with the white, gray clouds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're melding with the blue sky. It was, it was, it was picturesque. It was beautiful. And then it's gone. So it's very transitory. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. So speaking of transitory, when I've had to work on the past month, month and a half has been, you know, I like things, Matt says I'm OCD. Like I like things. Perfect. Our wall of herbal jars all have to, every jar has to face.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly so like everything has to face exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, you know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what? Stop it, stop it. But like, I like things to be beautiful. And I do appreciate wabi-sabi. I do appreciate asymmetry, but I make the asymmetry happen. Everything has to be just right. And everything has a home in our home. And the past two months, I want to say it's been more than a month and a half,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we've been living, surrounded with boxes because I'm like enough, we're moving, we're moving. I'm just going to start packing. So little by little, I started packing and I would hide the boxes from Matt because I don't want him to stress out. Matt doesn't like change. So it got to a point where I couldn't hide the boxes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it also got to a point where I just can't take it anymore. Like I want to move. I want the life that I want for us. I want to live already that life. And so now everything is boxed up except for our wall of Joe. Well, you know what? 80% of the jars are packed, but you still have a wall of jars. our food isn't totally packed and our clothes, most of our clothes are not packed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Everything is packed guys, everything. So we're surrounded with boxes and it doesn't look pretty. And I've had to get my mind around looking at how beautiful it is and it's in it's way. So the beauty of the transitory, like literally, like I have to find beauty in this apartment where all the magical things have come off the walls.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's no, like it's just boxes basically. And finding beauty in that. And then also, I always talk to you guys about the Nicomachean ethics, knowing who your friends are, knowing the people that come into your life. What kind of friend is that? And coming to terms with it as early as possible so you don't get heartbroken.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But with me, when I meet someone I love. So much. And I think this is the one, much like before Matt, any guy that came up that resembled what I thought Matt was like, I was looking for Matt since I was born. I was like, I found him, yay. I found him I'm in love. We're going to get married. And it was not it at all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But, and then, you know, heartbreak and confusion set in all that stuff over and over and over again. And the thing with friendship is kind of the same way with me. I open myself up. I I'm like this is that this is family right here. This is, this is my sister. This is my brother we're family. And then sure enough, something happens and you're like, wow, no, this person doesn't care for me as much as I care for them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And. It's seriously, a pain that you feel in your heart. If you allow for that feeling to be, if you're honest with yourself and you try to feel what your body feels like with all these emotions, all these feelings. It is painful. It is a physical pain, and that's what I've been going through the past couple of weeks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Again, again, coming to terms with the people that I thought were my besties really don't consider me in that same vein. For them is something totally different. And I knew all the signs, but I ignored all the signs. I ignored it. I thought, well, they're busy. They're going through their stuff. It's okay that they forgot about this major, major thing that's happened. A few major things that have happened. It's okay that they never ask about it. They're probably preoccupied, but too many things happened and, and they sense it too. Like they sense you sensing these things. So then conflict arises and that's why I'm also doing the show today is it's all wabi-sabi.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to get to a point where you can see the beauty of it all. Even the beauty of a friend turning ugly on you. A friend leaving because nothing lasts forever. Getting to a place where you can appreciate what they offered you in life, what they brought to life and just remembering that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And also remembering of course, Hey, they also, did A, B, and C, which was not cool. But not holding onto it forever. You know what I'm saying? And I think for me, that's how I'm choosing to look at wabi-sabi and friendship. How do you equate wabi-sabi and friendship? How do you pull it together, Matt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But when I asked you, I'm like, do you think we'll ever find any friends, like for a real in the future and you said </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, I didn't say no. I said, I said, no, for me, I didn't say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no for you yet. That's what I mean. And that made me so sad. And then I was like, you know what, me too, that me too. I'm never making any more friends again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm good. We're just going to find, make sure that Elle and Allegra have friends</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no, it's, it's literally, until I can get myself into that naivete mindset you know, that saying, you know, love, like you've never been hurt, dance like no one's watching, you have to be in that mindset and you have to let it go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to open your heart. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know if I want to anymore. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's what everybody says, the instant they get broken up with, or, but you know, your, your own habits creep up. For me, you know? Friends with me as a very slow process. I have people who are in my life, who I've known for years, that I still have this acquaintance kind of thing, because there is a certain rigor to it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is a certain distancing to it. There is. And it's, it's everybody just being careful. It's. I Think. And, it's not until we can truly let that go, that, friendship can truly truly happen. You know, I'm involved in their lives. I hear about what's going on with their lives. One of my friends actually, her daughter is getting married today and then she's having back surgery.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's not like, I don't know what's going on in their lives. And we stay in touch with each other and we constantly not constantly, but we call each other frequently but I'm not completely emotionally invested. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So I can see that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there's still a beauty in it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. There's a great, um, what's the word when you have, when you exercise great restraints, you, you master yourself and your actions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is great discipline. That's the word I was looking for. There is great disciplinein, in forming connections and friendships like that. Like that. I mean, by, by doing it slowly, I'm not slow in anything. I am like a flee that's like, boin boing boing boing boing! I'm like a golden retriever dog. Uh, middle Eastern version. So maybe a chocolate Labrador, Labrador.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do you call those dogs? A dark one chocolate chocolate, but you know, like a lab, um, I'm a, I'm a dog, I'm a dog that sniffs you from miles away and then starts running towards you. I'll jump on you and lick you and tell you how much I love you, because I recognize you. I recognize your spirit and I have no qualms about like letting you know upfront within that instant we meet where the heck have you been?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've been looking for you my entire life, come on, you know, and then later realizing the person is not feeling it. Do you know what I'm saying? But it'll take a while. And it's heartbreaking for me because I am in it. I am like, I will be your best friend. I will be there except I don't like to pick you up from the airport.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please. Don't ask me that. I don't like to do that. Please get an Uber or something. But one of the things I really love about my friendship with Wendy is she took command. Cause I was like, I was like ready to jump on her and like lick her and go. And I did, I, I told, you know, I mean, lick like metaphorically, I'm not talking about for real, you know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just saying, but like I told her immediately and it also. Also because you, Matt very rarely, really like someone from the very beginning, like you can always send people and you will just be quiet. Like I'll make a bunch of friends and you're just quiet. Like you won't say anything anymore. And in that silence, I can tell, oh, Matt doesn't really there's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt has picked up some signs, but I ignore it. I'm like, no, everything's wonderful. I love this person. And then later on like, like the way you're looking right now, he, he, his lips disappear. Like he, he doesn't want to speak and his eyebrows go up. Like I told you that, that, that, no, your lips disappear. He's trying to, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm trying to push my lips out and lower my eyebrows.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I look really freaky, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but what I love about my friendship with Wendy is she took control. She with her mastery, she, she. Do I say pruned, what's the right word. She, she tended our friendship in such a way that it took forever little by little, for us to get closer and closer. And I'm just marveling in our friendship and it's still growing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I'm saying? And it's quite beautiful. It feels like home, but as far as. Um, Matt, you usually like no, instantly, like I remember you met one of my friends in Santa Monica and you had a word for her that terrified me. You just said one word. I don't know if it's one word or two. Is it hyphenated?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know. But you said no, it's one word you said all you said to me in regards to this friend was freight train. And I was terrified because I knew you long enough to know that you're incredibly observant and you see things like, and I'm like, no way, man, you are so wrong and sure enough, like later on as time passed, you were absolutely right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I don't know, you have such a gift for recognizing immediately, but as soon as you saw Wendy, you were like I love her,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And you chose those words. I don't think he used the word love, but you just, you, you immediately, as soon as </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think I said, she's good people, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but you said she is one that we're going to have in our life. You said something, I don't remember your exact words, but that was what you said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I'm saying? That is what you were implying. Like she's the one she's good. She's she's great. She's incredible. And so that's our friendship with Wendy, but yeah, so I have to take it slow, but I can't, I just, it's not my nature. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> don't. How long were we friends before we started dating?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I had no idea what was happening. That was the only way that I was going to work. Oh my God, you, you pull the Wendy on me. That's true. Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that's true. I would say Wendy pulled a Matt on you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. All right. I dislike not being in control. I just want to be a dog. I just want to frolic and go. Yeah, I love you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why can't you just love me back? Gosh, that's painful out here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So now I'm feeling raw all over again. Can you take over the conversation for a little bit until I calm down? I'm going to take a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> second. Okay. So let's go back to wabi-sabi cause we should, after all it is the, kind of the name of the show. So this is interesting. Something I hadn't really contemplated before, but one of the key, well, not key, but one of the elements of Zen Buddhism is the tea ceremony</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and if you really think about it, I mean, it's a very ritualized stylized. You pour this way. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's kind of a perfect ceremony </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> as describe it for some countries or some people who don't know what the tea ceremony actually is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">whole process behind getting the charcoal out and putting it and lighting it and actually putting the water in the tea pot, putting the tea in the tea pot on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and on it's like poetry, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Every word has an intent. Every, every motion, every motion means something </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> quote, unquote tea master, this would be somebody who practices for a long time. It is said that they leave no opening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What does that mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It just, well, this is how somebody like a samurai would judge, like there is no place to quote unquote attack.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is no flaw in their, you know, in their performance, isn't the right word, but their execution. You know, the tea ceremony, there </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is no flaw in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">their movements. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There is no flaw in their movement. So not unlike again, we'd like to talk about, I like to talk about Zen archery is a similar thing where it's a very ritualized in the whole thing, but what's interesting is, the tea ceremony actually takes its roots from monks who were, who would drink tea before they would meditate and they would do this to help them stay awake.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">'cause I guess they drank the caffeinated tea, which is like, there's a lot of discrepancies going on because I wouldn't assume I could get into that alpha meditative state if my blood pressure has gone crazy because I've had a lot of caffeine, but welcome to it. But that is one that is like the root of the tea ceremony actually comes from monks who are just attempting to meditate for longer periods.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Which I thought was fascinating. But again, if you look at it, why is, why is this wabi-sabi, I'm talking about perfection and perfection and perfection. Yes. But transient, because at some point the tea gets cold. At some point, you pack it up and all of a sudden now this whole ritualized quote unquote performance is over.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it can be as perfect as perfect can be, but it ends. And it's that understanding of that ending that maybe hopefully makes you appreciate it even more.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">slowing down and appreciating every movement, appreciating what it is; being completely immersed in what you're doing and nothing else, but putting all your intention in the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">beauty of the moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. And, you know, there's all kinds of different stories or thoughts that start to like tweak your head. And another one is you can never step into the exact same spot of a river. Because the river is constantly changing and then all of a sudden you're like, whoa, but wait, I can never, I can never come this way again because it will never be, you know, um, January 36</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of this year and the weather will never be quite like this again, et cetera, et cetera. There is a transient nature to everything we do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Don't you find that that's key to our relationships. That's key to raising children that it's key to being a partner in a marriage. That's key to being a family member is you can never hold someone to what you think they are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They are never the same river. You should expect to be pleasantly or not, not pleasantly. You just should, you should just expect that you don't know this person because every day is opening another gift. Like it's not the same person. And if we see that, then we're not, um, it's not stale because you are able to witness</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the evolution of everything around you. You're able to witness the evolution of every human being around you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. I always say we have to afford the people in our lives, the opportunity to grow, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to transform. And some, it seems like most of them don't, and they're very specific about how they're transforming and it may not be in sync with your transformation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, but that is almost entire, that's usually the case, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but if you really, really love this person, and I want to say it's a number three and the number three in the Nicomachean is like, you love them no matter what that love will keep going, because within that love really the root of it is compassion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And respect like there are people in our lives that I don't respect, and I don't want anything to do with them, but out of obligation, like I'm thinking about certain family members, um, I have to keep talking to them, but there's no connection for me. Like I don't have that respect. So my love isn't totally there for that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And it's, it's when it, isn't, it's really hard to see how, or if they're growing. Cause it feels like they're not. And maybe that has a lot to do with one of the aspects of the wabi-sabi in my mind, a friendship is you're an open book. So as you're growing, you know, anytime I discover anything cool, I want to share it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Especially with my friends, especially with people who love me, especially with the people I love. And that's very, very difficult to do in cases where it feels like an obligation. So it indeed looks like neither side is growing because neither side is willing to expose themselves to the vulnerability of growth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And, , in terms of what you just said I do the same thing. As soon as I find something or I remember something that's really cool and, and beneficial. I want to share it and I share. And I noticed with certain quote-unquote friends, all they do is take, take, take, take, take, they never share their stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm like, wow, are they friends with me? Because they're getting stuff. And the answer is yes. And that's the predicament. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And it also may be that they're afraid of looking foolish or cause every once in a while I'll share something with you and you're like, Oh, it makes me feel a little small </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">sometimes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that. All right. I should, I should say it back the way I used it. Well, be, you know why? Because sometimes you, the way you, your tone is with me, Matt, it's like, sometimes you're shocked that I know some information, like some college level. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my God. You know, that chocolate comes from a bean?.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you, you can sound in your tone. Very, what's the word I'm looking for? Condescending and I, and you know what, I think you only did this once or twice, but that's sting has stuck with me the whole time. So that's why I react the way I do. Like I already knew that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">where really the way it should come out is I know, right? Yeah. Totally different tone. Right. As opposed to I know that. Right. So, but, but as far as sharing stuff, I think that people don't share because they feel like they're losing stuff. It's like money. It feels like they don't want to share the money.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> if you don't want to spend my currency. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Because it's going to take away from them. So they don't share stuff that's happening in their families with me. They don't share. Information, they learn about what we're working on. Like, I have friends that, you know, it seems like we're working on the same kind of projects and I'll share whatever I learned</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's like gold. I'm like, oh my God guys look at what I just found. And they're like, oh great. But they never do that with me. They keep it to themselves. And that hurts my feelings. Like after a while, when it happens over and over again, I'm like, huh. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's why I'm generally pretty. Um, yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Quid pro quo ish </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> bye Kush. Um, Matt just made, uh, sorry, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> close. Let's say closed up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He made an X with his arms to protect his chest. Like. Like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyways, I'm pretty closed up and, you know, it's, it's, it's a very interesting thing, unless like this thing I know is like so cool and eminently obvious, I will typically, I'm very careful about how I Dole out the things I think are cool.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I just, I just found this really cool new tool for development. So of course I had to share it with one of my programming friends. It's just kind of how it goes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And with me, I'm going to just keep doing what I'm doing, because I know that it's energetic. I'm going to keep sharing what I'm sharing, because obviously it came to me from some source.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So something out there shared it with me. So I'm going to accept that this particular friend quote, unquote friend right now, I'm saying it that way. Cause I'm mad, but you know that this person. Does that. And I just appreciate that, like, huh? Look at that. That's how they are. I appreciate that. You know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And still love it. Right. But recognize, okay. That's not a family member. That's not in by family member. What I mean is that is not my inner circle, soul friend, my soul family. Right. You're not in my circle. Right. So I appreciate that. And I can see the beauty in that and let it go. It's hard though. I gotta tell you it's hard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have yourself believe otherwise. And then the world shows you this person is really not in your circle the way you think they are. Right. And that's okay. That's beautiful. It's just part of, and sometimes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the wabi-sabi</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">and flit out. So in a transitory manner. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. And you just recognize that as beautiful it's transitory right there, floating in the wind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. Yeah. I had a two perfect quote unquote, perfect summers, before I turned 18 and they were perfect for different reasons and it was just, but it's a summer, it ends. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so as something as something as always beginning, indeed, always. So when our friendship ends or situation ends look around and see the beauty in that perfection, because there is no void in nature. Things are always in motion. As long as there's breath, there is always motion. There's always the life. Even, even when we think the breath is no longer there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There is still a life that we may not see from our perspective, but everything is constantly transforming. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> A few episodes back. We decided not to use the word change rather transform.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">so going back to the four things:</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">accept things as they are, and as they come. accept the friend as they are, and as they come.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Appreciate your life, where it is now and work towards your goals, appreciate your friends, your friendship, where it is now and work towards your goals. All right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So in my case, I'll use myself as an example. This is not the friendship I thought it was. I appreciate it. I appreciate the friendship that it is, or was. And I'm going to have the goal of meeting family, the friends that are family. That's my goal, but I appreciate. What I have.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Strive for excellence, but don't get caught up in perfection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sounds good, right? No, one's going to be perfect. I'm looking for that soulmate friendship. A bunch of them, not only for myself, but for Matt and the kids, but I'm not going to get caught up in a list of points that I'm looking for. I don't know how else to describe this. Maybe you can a checklist. Oh, well, yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. And then the last one is</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Live your perfect life with all its precious imperfections. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sounds good to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What do you. Yeah, I just said, it sounds good to me. No, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to our, our, our family out there. What do you think, please let me know, please, please go to our friendly world podcast.com. Go to our friendly word podcast.com. Leave us a message. Talk to me, schedule me or, or Matt, of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can we schedule a zoom together?. I want to talk to you. I want to see you guys. I don't want to go on Facebook. Everyone's telling me you should start a group, but I don't want to go on Facebook or whatever it's called. I don't want it. What other way can we get together? The only way I can think of is, can you please email us by going to our website, click on contact us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that gets to my personal email. And we can schedule a group, but can we start a group? Let's start a group, please email us there are things for you there. If you would like to donate to our show, that would be amazing. But please, this is for real, I mean, we're doing this to create family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Reach out to us. Okay. All right. I'm smiling. Love is winning. Yes. Love is winning. yeah, there's a lot going on out there in the world. It feels like everything is feeling way hyperintense and just when we think, wow, it can't get any worse. There's more intensity coming up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The key is to. Form form family form friendships, and know that together we can create a beautiful utopia, a beautiful world, a beautiful family. That's what we're here for. We'll talk to you soon. Loving you. Thank you for listening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Be well.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/7c018e57-8ad1-47f9-9570-f16cf2941313/The-Wabi-Sabi-Friend.mp3" length="46913925"
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                    <![CDATA[The Japanese aesthetic principle embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things; recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken.Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. (I repeat) Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. Wabi-Sabi W A B I - S A B I Wabi-Sabi is the Japanese aesthetic principle that embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things. Recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken; the beauty of imperfection, the beauty of quote-unquote imperfection, the understanding and appreciation, and respectfor, or of the transience, the imperfection, as we see it and recognizing the beauty of it all. That's Wabi-Sabi.Wabi-sabi stems from the Buddhist understanding of three life principles. One is impermanence. Two is, suffering. Three is emptiness or absence,but the meaning over time has transformed into finding joy in solitude, appreciating nature, lauding, old-age wisdom, accepting that things come and go, and loving them honestly, and deeply while they last. Wabi-Sabi recognizes that nothing lasts forever. And so it is rare and beautiful. Some of the traits include modesty, subtle grace, acceptance,earthiness and peacefulness. We can find wabi-sabi and everything. We can find it in aesthetics like when things are not symmetrical when there's asymmetry happening, that's wabi-sabi. You can find wabi-sabi in poetry. Every word is chosen after careful consideration and carries multiple meanings and intentions. You can find wabi-sabi in pop culturewhen you are seeking the not so perfect. As we, take in wabi-sabi and friendship, let's first look at how to ground ourselves and appreciate our lives as they are; as is; the big dreams, the big plans for the future, and every worry. Appreciate where you are right now. How can we do that? How can you appreciate where you are. That's part of wabi-sabi. Stop worrying about being so perfect.It can block you. It can block you if you're trying to write a book. It blocks you in the art that you create. It blocks you from starting a brand new, beautiful journal when you are afraid to make one mark because you are seeking that perfection and you will end up not making any marks at all. And then if you do make all the perfect marks, does that really show your personality?Does that really show the feeling, the emotion of basically all the things that you need when you're creating art? Stop boring about being so perfect. It blocks you. Highlighting the importance of every moment, even the hardships. Accept things as they are, and as they come. Appreciate your life where it is now and work towards your goals from there. Strive for excellence, but don't get caught up in perfectionism.Live your own perfect life with all its precious imperfections. It sounds like I'm telling you what to do. Really. I'm telling myself what to do right now because we're in the midst of such a limbo that this is why we're talking about what we're talking about today because it's a lesson that I had to make myself sit down and bring to use. Appreciating what doesn't seem so great.
 
Transcript: Wabi Sabi Friend
[00:00:00] Fawn: Brilliant moment. It was a brilliant moment for you. 
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                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Wabi-Sabi-Daisy.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:48:52</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Filling Your Cup by Allowing for Emptiness -How to let go and feel good]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 May 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/filling-your-cup-by-allowing-for-emptiness-how-to-let-go-and-feel-good</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/filling-your-cup-by-allowing-for-emptiness-how-to-let-go-and-feel-good</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This episode is on the art of the empty cup in many ways. We begin with the breath. So many times we're told to BREATHE! This may be advice that may be causing you more distress. The true way is to NOT TAKE the breath, but ALLOW the breath. This "allowing" works not only with the art of breath, but the art of friendship, and the art of life and creating a happy and fulfilling life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Baby Step - Allowing for Emptiness to Fill the Cup</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back to our friendly world. Hi everyone. Welcome back. Bonjour! Hello. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Remember we used to go through the whole spiel when we first started recording. Anyway. Hi everyone. Welcome back. We have a baby-step for you today, a short, quick one. You ready? A baby step towards a better friendship, a better society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you ready? Okay, it's funny. How, um, I'm just going to get into it. All right. Here it is. Are you ready? Ready? Ready? Here it is. Don't take the breath. Allow the breath. It's interesting. How things come? I was so turned off by the whole yoga world. I was teaching it. I was teaching yoga. I was so done with the environment and the white fragility, I saw that I just, I had to be away from that group, but yoga has been so coming back into my life and I know that I'm going to be teaching again on a massive scale. I've been getting these messages, this one, guess where the message came from. I'll just tell you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You'll never guess it. Well, first of all, I want to, okay. I'll tell you for us where it came from, it came from The Society of Children's Book Authors. They're called SC BWI society of children's book authors. There was an author that was speaking. Her name is Meg Fleming, so lovely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So she was saying that someone was telling her this. It was beautifully woven into the lesson of the day, talking about writing children's books, but that was the message. Don't take the breath, allow the breath. I'm going to get into that in just a second, but I want to say it's really interesting how artists and artists and by artists, I mean, I include the whole family painters, writers,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">singers musicians, photographers, you know, the whole crew. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I thought you actually meant our family, which is apropos as well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's all family, but yeah. one of the classes I was taking with Vanessa, Vanessa Brentley-Newton, who is a beautiful friend of our show, a beautiful friend in our family, one of the classes I took with her one day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She was saying, you know, like when you draw, sometimes you can get really tense holding the pen or the pencil or the tool in your hand. Right. And sometimes it's even hard to draw a straight line because you're so intent on perfection or whatever you get so tight. And I remember her saying specifically, and she's she spoke as a true yoga teacher.</span></span></p>
&lt;...]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode is on the art of the empty cup in many ways. We begin with the breath. So many times we're told to BREATHE! This may be advice that may be causing you more distress. The true way is to NOT TAKE the breath, but ALLOW the breath. This "allowing" works not only with the art of breath, but the art of friendship, and the art of life and creating a happy and fulfilling life.
 
Baby Step - Allowing for Emptiness to Fill the Cup
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back to our friendly world. Hi everyone. Welcome back. Bonjour! Hello. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Remember we used to go through the whole spiel when we first started recording. Anyway. Hi everyone. Welcome back. We have a baby-step for you today, a short, quick one. You ready? A baby step towards a better friendship, a better society.
Are you ready? Okay, it's funny. How, um, I'm just going to get into it. All right. Here it is. Are you ready? Ready? Ready? Here it is. Don't take the breath. Allow the breath. It's interesting. How things come? I was so turned off by the whole yoga world. I was teaching it. I was teaching yoga. I was so done with the environment and the white fragility, I saw that I just, I had to be away from that group, but yoga has been so coming back into my life and I know that I'm going to be teaching again on a massive scale. I've been getting these messages, this one, guess where the message came from. I'll just tell you.
You'll never guess it. Well, first of all, I want to, okay. I'll tell you for us where it came from, it came from The Society of Children's Book Authors. They're called SC BWI society of children's book authors. There was an author that was speaking. Her name is Meg Fleming, so lovely.
So she was saying that someone was telling her this. It was beautifully woven into the lesson of the day, talking about writing children's books, but that was the message. Don't take the breath, allow the breath. I'm going to get into that in just a second, but I want to say it's really interesting how artists and artists and by artists, I mean, I include the whole family painters, writers,
singers musicians, photographers, you know, the whole crew. 
[00:02:10] Matt: Right. 
I thought you actually meant our family, which is apropos as well. 
[00:02:14] Fawn: It's all family, but yeah. one of the classes I was taking with Vanessa, Vanessa Brentley-Newton, who is a beautiful friend of our show, a beautiful friend in our family, one of the classes I took with her one day.
She was saying, you know, like when you draw, sometimes you can get really tense holding the pen or the pencil or the tool in your hand. Right. And sometimes it's even hard to draw a straight line because you're so intent on perfection or whatever you get so tight. And I remember her saying specifically, and she's she spoke as a true yoga teacher.
<...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Filling Your Cup by Allowing for Emptiness -How to let go and feel good]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This episode is on the art of the empty cup in many ways. We begin with the breath. So many times we're told to BREATHE! This may be advice that may be causing you more distress. The true way is to NOT TAKE the breath, but ALLOW the breath. This "allowing" works not only with the art of breath, but the art of friendship, and the art of life and creating a happy and fulfilling life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Baby Step - Allowing for Emptiness to Fill the Cup</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back to our friendly world. Hi everyone. Welcome back. Bonjour! Hello. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Remember we used to go through the whole spiel when we first started recording. Anyway. Hi everyone. Welcome back. We have a baby-step for you today, a short, quick one. You ready? A baby step towards a better friendship, a better society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you ready? Okay, it's funny. How, um, I'm just going to get into it. All right. Here it is. Are you ready? Ready? Ready? Here it is. Don't take the breath. Allow the breath. It's interesting. How things come? I was so turned off by the whole yoga world. I was teaching it. I was teaching yoga. I was so done with the environment and the white fragility, I saw that I just, I had to be away from that group, but yoga has been so coming back into my life and I know that I'm going to be teaching again on a massive scale. I've been getting these messages, this one, guess where the message came from. I'll just tell you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You'll never guess it. Well, first of all, I want to, okay. I'll tell you for us where it came from, it came from The Society of Children's Book Authors. They're called SC BWI society of children's book authors. There was an author that was speaking. Her name is Meg Fleming, so lovely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So she was saying that someone was telling her this. It was beautifully woven into the lesson of the day, talking about writing children's books, but that was the message. Don't take the breath, allow the breath. I'm going to get into that in just a second, but I want to say it's really interesting how artists and artists and by artists, I mean, I include the whole family painters, writers,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">singers musicians, photographers, you know, the whole crew. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I thought you actually meant our family, which is apropos as well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's all family, but yeah. one of the classes I was taking with Vanessa, Vanessa Brentley-Newton, who is a beautiful friend of our show, a beautiful friend in our family, one of the classes I took with her one day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She was saying, you know, like when you draw, sometimes you can get really tense holding the pen or the pencil or the tool in your hand. Right. And sometimes it's even hard to draw a straight line because you're so intent on perfection or whatever you get so tight. And I remember her saying specifically, and she's she spoke as a true yoga teacher.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She said, remember to breathe when you're drawing. And I thought that was so perfect because in moments like that, in moments where you're trying to achieve perfection, whatever perfection is for you, which is great, which is a great thing to do. We tend to hold our breath. Like we just hold everything and you just gotta go with the flow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to breathe in to it. And that's just such beautiful advice. Thank you, Vanessa. And thank you, Meg Fleming. Don't take the breath. Don't take it. Allow the breath. You know, whenever you get into stressful situations, you always hear people say breathe, but if you're already holding your breath, if you're holding so much in already, to take another breath, I mean, it's like, you're a balloon that's about to pop. Like I can't take another breath. So you have to be mindful of that, mind that and realize I have to let it out. So let it out. Be empty. Get that out of you and experience the emptiness, so the new can come in. It is really beautiful. And if you think about it, there's so many aspects to it, like to heal, you have to exhale first. "Take a deep breath," continues the fight or flight mechanism. But to exhale what is there and allow the clear breath to come in; that is key to a reset that really needs to happen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So Baby step for today, make sure you exhale. If you think about it, it works in martial arts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And no one actually taught me this, but I figured it out. But didn't you find? Well, there was no hitting at your school, Matt, but like when I would get a punch in the gut, I instinctively knew to exhale at that moment. When you're getting a gut punch and you exhale, it doesn't affect you. But if you're taking a breath while you're getting punched, you you're just you're on the ground.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Babe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">breathing is so important, certainly in martial arts, in life, in everything. Obviously, if you don't breathe, you've got problems, but literally, there are styles of martial arts that have you do a ferocious exhale as you strike. If you were to do Japanese archery, which is called Kyudo, even your breath, every motion, every breath is factored in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's like, I want to say you shoot the arrow, quote unquote in between breaths, but you don't hold your breath to make that happen. It happens naturally in between breaths. So, yeah, there you go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you may be thinking, what does this have to do with friendship? Right. Also works with people with friends, allow yourself to be empty, allow yourself to feel lonely, allow for that total nothingness of having no one in your circle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't just have anyone, just anyone in your beautiful circle. Be choosy. It's okay to be empty. It's okay to be without. It's like when I was a kid, I had older friends and one of them said to me, life is like a garden. And your friendships are like a garden. You have to constantly weed it. (Matt remarks with a noise that conveys that he thinks that was a hectic thing to say)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I have told you this before, and it sounds terrible. And that was my reaction. I was like, that's terrible. First of all, weeds are good. You know what I mean? They have medicinal value everything has value. So, the thought of just plucking your garden for you to have it look a certain way,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to me was like completely disrespectful, but it is important for certain things to thrive, to separate one plant from another cause one plant can overtake another one and choke it to death. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. I, sorry. I was just thinking about the scotch broom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Uh, so in Washington state, There was a season where these beautiful yellow flowers would pop up everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They were beautiful, bright, yellow. And we thought they were like, wow, beautiful flowers. But once we went into the community, we realized that there was a whole fleet of people that were in charge of getting rid of this, this flower, which is, which was called Scotch broom. It came from Scotland. Right, honey, is that right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Legend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Has it. Uh, Scotsman moved to the Pacific Northwest and missed the scotch broom that would bloom in Scotland. And so he imported some. And then they kind of started taking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">over. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They take over guys. And so,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> so you see </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">them by the side of the road because the seeds get kicked up by cars and moved down the road.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I always thought it was beautiful, much like mint, like people always say, oh my goodness, do not put mint on the ground. Well, I would put mint in the ground. For anyone out there, who's a total green thumb person, please, can you reach out to me because I want to learn. For years, most of my life of wanted to have a green thumb.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I planted and it doesn't work by the way. Not yet. So I planted like lots of mint because I'm Persian and I want mint. Like, I can have a mint sandwich. I can't get enough mint. I can't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yeah.It's not about putting it in your mint Julep, It's about putting it on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">all kinds of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Much like rosewater, watermelon. I can't get enough of this stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I wish I could grow my own. So I would try to spread mint and it wouldn't spread</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">(Laughter from Matt and Fawn) Remember that day. We tried to plant sunflowers because, because those people came in to get rid of the scotch broom. So they sprayed all these nasty chemicals on our property. Our property was on the edge of a stream. And I was so angry with these people. I was yelling. I'm like, how dare you come onto our property and spread poison.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, this is not okay for the environment. It's not okay with me. I was so upset. So I thought of Chernobyl and I remembered how they would plant sunflowers. Right. So I'm like, honey, let's just go plant some sunflowers, like a lot of them. And we spent the whole afternoon planting meticulously the sunflower seeds, and we were so tired.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We were newly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Homeowners?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, we were newly. What do you call it? Newly parents. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes, we had that parental </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">exhaustion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? So yeah, we were exhausted to begin with, but we took the whole day to plant these sunflower seeds and we were done. We padded the earth. We said, thank you. We were like, oh, yay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to have a field. We're going to have our own Tuscany over here. Right. And then we went inside. And we had no curtains. We, we like to have a beautiful view. We were in the forest. So all of a sudden we noticed all this commotion outside and all these birds were flying around and I'm like, oh, that's so nice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then months, and months, and months later, I'm like, what happened to the sunflowers? Where are they? Is it like, is it like the apple tree or the pear tree that takes maybe three years for it to bloom. I thought maybe it has like some sort of cycle I don't understand. When we put it together months later, we're like all those birds we saw, came to eat those seeds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They were all watching us plant them, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They all watched us plant plant. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So anyway, I have totally digressed once before we talking about planting, weeding your garden, you know, it's okay. It's okay to be empty. It's actually quite necessary. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> let's, let's be careful with that. "It's okay to be empty," makes it sound like it's okay to be, not necessarily understanding who you are, where you are and where you're at and where you're going, which is altogether different, because empty has a certain negative connotation to it;</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">at least to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I think that it's also good to realize you don't know where you are. You don't know who you are as long as you become aware of that and start asking yourself or start noticing that you are in that state is when you're actually coming out of it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Correct. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So I think it's a good thing, but I think it's really important to release everything out of you, so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">that way you can get filled up and you don't take the breath, you allow for it to come in. Because when you take everything out, like when you completely exhale, your body naturally absorbs the breath. It's like a water getting filled up in a cup, right. It just, all of a sudden starts flowing in and it knows where to go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The water always finds its way. And so same with life and same with friends. It's good to at times, have a clear slate and be quiet. It's good to, if you talk about other relationships, it's good to be single. It's good to be in your own company. It's good to be quiet and not speak for a while. All that stuff is really important because once you get there, you know, they, I never understood the term until recently, you know how they say nature abhors a vacuum.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I never understood that. I didn't, I seriously didn't understand what it was saying, but it's true. Like water goes where it knows where to go, right? So when you have empty space, it will be filled. And when you're conscious of that, it will be filled with what you want because as long as you focus on what you want or what is best for you; for your highest good, they say, it will flow in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that, that is the baby step for today. Stop taking the breath. Don't take. Allow, and be okay. Know that it's beyond OK to empty it out and allow for things to flow </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sounds good to me</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and doing that. You know, when you take a breath, I just want to reiterate, reiterate that when you take breaths, there are certain I've been to breath workshops where you hyperventilate on purpose. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's horrible. It's horrible on so many levels. Like I felt like I was going to pass out, so I was scared, but what happens to people,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What happened to other people around me actually terrified me because I don't know if I ever told you guys this story, but I went to a breath workshop where they were doing this particular breath of like constant exhales, but really fast. So hyperventilation kind of. And so throughout this whole week, there was this one woman that was a total Yogi. And she seems so peaceful and so together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I always tried to say hello to her and she would ignore me. Like I'm like, okay, all right. Maybe she just, maybe she thinks I'm some crazy person and she doesn't want my vibe around her because she's so peaceful. I don't know, but I thought maybe I'm not her cup of tea. I didn't realize that well, maybe she has her own problems or her own pain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But anyway, she always walked around with such, dignity. I don't know how to explain it. She had this vibe about her. Like she even dare I say, she seemed like she was better than, you know, she carried around that attitude. I am above you. I don't know. And she was also teaching yoga classes everyday to our group.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sorry, my phone, um, she always was teaching. She was always teaching yoga classes. And so anyway, total Yogi. And so one day when we were doing this major breath workout, she, we were all laying down on the floor.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So you're doing a major breath workout and you were all laying down on the floor. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so, you know, I'm freaking out because I'm like, I can't breathe now. Like all of this breath is taking my breath away. Like how much longer? It was painful. And then things got heightened. Next to me was this woman that I'm telling you about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she started howling with pain and screaming and crying. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Wow. That sucks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> She took away my mellow, then I was starting to get, cause after all that breath work, I'm like this better be good for something, because this is not okay with me. So I'm like, I'm sure that there's a happy ending. Like I'm sure that there's going to be a moment of calm because why are they making us do this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I was like, okay, I think I can achieve some sort of peace because I'm getting out all the toxins out of my body or something. Right. But no, this lady started screaming bloody murder. Like she was being tortured and you know, you don't mean like it's like being a mom and hearing your baby cry. You can't take it. Like you want to help and you want to make sure your baby's okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you hear someone. When I hear someone crying like that, that's why I can't watch most movies. That's why I can only watch a romantic comedy. I can't hear or see certain things. 'cause then I I'm not okay. I can't just see something and just leave it at that and be non emotional about it. Right. You know, I can't distance myself from it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyway, she. She was not okay. Like screaming, mad. It was, it was making me shake. Like I was no longer in this workshop. I was right now sitting up. Everyone else is fine. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're in survival mode. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Everyone else was still lying down and doing their breath work. Now I'm sitting up staring at her like scared, like are what what's happening, you know, can we do I need to call 9 1, 1 what is happening?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And, um, People coming to help her, the people that worked in the workshop, like the teachers. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But it went on forever. I can't, why am I telling you this story? I totally forgot .It had something to do with breathwork but now I don't remember. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You guys were hyperventilating and attempt to get to a different state.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like there was a woman who was, seemed so in control and. Then she freaked </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I seriously don't remember what I was trying to tell you, but I think what led me down this path was talking about, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> if you start doing breath work and start screaming, maybe you should stop doing it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, no. I think she needed to get it out because it was suppressed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? I was stuck in her body. She needs to get it out. I understand. Um, but so. I'm just trying to say it is what helps you get out of survival mode when you, oh, this is why, what I was trying to tell you. Okay. When you breathe fast like that, when you're constantly taking in breath, it actually puts you in a state of fight or flight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can see that,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You need to have a controlled exhale. It's really important. And I think we put too much emphasis on taking the breath take, take. Release. Give, let it go. That's the baby step today. And once again, going back to friendship, allow for that space. Space is good and space will not be empty forever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Once again, it's the natural thing for things to fill up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A body of water that has gone dry, eventually it will rain and you'll have water again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's the baby step for today?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sounds </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">good. As well </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As now, perhaps I take us in a completely different place, but in my mind, there is a proverb that involves a student going to a master and saying, "yes, I've learned, I've read all of Confucius, I..." that listing all of his accomplishments and the masters, like, would you like some tea?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the student says, yes. So the master pours the tea and he doesn't stop pouring it. And he doesn't stop pouring it. And it overflows the cup. And the student is like, what are you doing? You're spilling the tea. The cup is too full. And the master says it is your mind that is too full. Empty your cup.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nice honey, see, I love it. When you do stuff like that. Good job. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm going to get a pat on the head. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. Well, that's all. Okay. He wants me to pat him on the head baby. All right, everyone love you so much. Make sure you go to our website. We have a gift for you there. It is a free workbook. I'm writing a book on the Ikigai of friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm writing several books. And they'll be coming out soon, but the workbook is out and it's free. So make sure you go to our friendly world podcast.com and sign up for our email list. And I don't email you often actually. But you will get the book when you click, when you sign up, when you sign up, it's called the "Ikigai of Friendship - The Formula" on how to have true joy, true friendship and value in your life. I want to also shout out to everyone who is listening. Thank you so much. Thank you for this beautiful community. Thank you for helping us grow our friendship circle. We love you so much. We'll talk to you soon. And in between talking, reach out to me, if you need.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you need Matt, we're here. Just email us. Thank you. Love you. Be well, bye.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[This episode is on the art of the empty cup in many ways. We begin with the breath. So many times we're told to BREATHE! This may be advice that may be causing you more distress. The true way is to NOT TAKE the breath, but ALLOW the breath. This "allowing" works not only with the art of breath, but the art of friendship, and the art of life and creating a happy and fulfilling life.
 
Baby Step - Allowing for Emptiness to Fill the Cup
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back to our friendly world. Hi everyone. Welcome back. Bonjour! Hello. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Remember we used to go through the whole spiel when we first started recording. Anyway. Hi everyone. Welcome back. We have a baby-step for you today, a short, quick one. You ready? A baby step towards a better friendship, a better society.
Are you ready? Okay, it's funny. How, um, I'm just going to get into it. All right. Here it is. Are you ready? Ready? Ready? Here it is. Don't take the breath. Allow the breath. It's interesting. How things come? I was so turned off by the whole yoga world. I was teaching it. I was teaching yoga. I was so done with the environment and the white fragility, I saw that I just, I had to be away from that group, but yoga has been so coming back into my life and I know that I'm going to be teaching again on a massive scale. I've been getting these messages, this one, guess where the message came from. I'll just tell you.
You'll never guess it. Well, first of all, I want to, okay. I'll tell you for us where it came from, it came from The Society of Children's Book Authors. They're called SC BWI society of children's book authors. There was an author that was speaking. Her name is Meg Fleming, so lovely.
So she was saying that someone was telling her this. It was beautifully woven into the lesson of the day, talking about writing children's books, but that was the message. Don't take the breath, allow the breath. I'm going to get into that in just a second, but I want to say it's really interesting how artists and artists and by artists, I mean, I include the whole family painters, writers,
singers musicians, photographers, you know, the whole crew. 
[00:02:10] Matt: Right. 
I thought you actually meant our family, which is apropos as well. 
[00:02:14] Fawn: It's all family, but yeah. one of the classes I was taking with Vanessa, Vanessa Brentley-Newton, who is a beautiful friend of our show, a beautiful friend in our family, one of the classes I took with her one day.
She was saying, you know, like when you draw, sometimes you can get really tense holding the pen or the pencil or the tool in your hand. Right. And sometimes it's even hard to draw a straight line because you're so intent on perfection or whatever you get so tight. And I remember her saying specifically, and she's she spoke as a true yoga teacher.
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:21:52</itunes:duration>
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                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Travel and Communication in Another Country - The French Connection,  with Ray and Vanessa Brantley-Newton]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 May 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-travel-and-communication-in-another-country-the-french-connection-with-ray-and-vanessa-brantley-newton</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-travel-and-communication-in-another-country-the-french-connection-with-ray-and-vanessa-brantley-newton</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go.</span></span></p>
<p>The BEAUTIFUL Vanessa Brantley-Newton is back, this time with her BRILLIANT husband Ray! They join us from their vacation in Paris, France, and share their adventures, experiences, wisdom, and advice for life, travel, food, love, art, and how to respectfully and lovingly travel the earth.</p>
<p>We love connecting with Vanessa and Ray. Join us as we discuss ways our fabulousness translates wherever we go. The world is a small town and it is so good to connect!</p>
<p>How is it that even though we may not speak the same language, we can completely understand each other?</p>
<p>Is it possible that we all have encoded something in our hearts that can translate for us and enable us to communicate, transcending words? Are there codes that we can access through sacred geometry in our bodies that when we assume a specific posture, can change the way we communicate and the way others are able to understand our inner nature?</p>
<p><strong> Vanessa Brantley-Newton on Instagram:</strong></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/?hl=en</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><a href="https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/">https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> <span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Vanessa's Ted Talk:</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><br />Magasin Sennelier, the art store,<br /><br />the Louvre;<br /><br />store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street,<br /><br /></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maison Bossier <a href="https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/">https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/</a><br /><br /> the Les Frenchies https://lesfrenchiestravel.com/<br /><br />the power pose</span></span></strong></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT – The French Connection With Vanessa and Ray</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, welcome to our friendly world, everyone. Okay, look, look, look, look, look okay if you can't, if you can't see me. Listen, listen, listen, listen to this. And if you can't, if you can't understand the words that I'm saying, like you speak another language.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">If you can't speak the same language, I want you to feel me out. Just feel me out. I have a message for you. Most of you listening know where the message came from. Where was I when I got the message? Nevermind. Don't say it, but you all know the one room where I receive messages, my guidance of what I'm supposed to do comes and it came today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm so happy to share today with you because we have two beautiful guests. I'm so excited. I've been giggly since we found out yesterday. So the message is, this is what I heard today, that, and this...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go.
The BEAUTIFUL Vanessa Brantley-Newton is back, this time with her BRILLIANT husband Ray! They join us from their vacation in Paris, France, and share their adventures, experiences, wisdom, and advice for life, travel, food, love, art, and how to respectfully and lovingly travel the earth.
We love connecting with Vanessa and Ray. Join us as we discuss ways our fabulousness translates wherever we go. The world is a small town and it is so good to connect!
How is it that even though we may not speak the same language, we can completely understand each other?
Is it possible that we all have encoded something in our hearts that can translate for us and enable us to communicate, transcending words? Are there codes that we can access through sacred geometry in our bodies that when we assume a specific posture, can change the way we communicate and the way others are able to understand our inner nature?
 Vanessa Brantley-Newton on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/?hl=en
https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/
 Vanessa's Ted Talk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c
Magasin Sennelier, the art store,the Louvre;store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street,
Maison Bossier https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/ the Les Frenchies https://lesfrenchiestravel.com/the power pose
 
TRANSCRIPT – The French Connection With Vanessa and Ray
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, welcome to our friendly world, everyone. Okay, look, look, look, look, look okay if you can't, if you can't see me. Listen, listen, listen, listen to this. And if you can't, if you can't understand the words that I'm saying, like you speak another language.
 If you can't speak the same language, I want you to feel me out. Just feel me out. I have a message for you. Most of you listening know where the message came from. Where was I when I got the message? Nevermind. Don't say it, but you all know the one room where I receive messages, my guidance of what I'm supposed to do comes and it came today.
And I'm so happy to share today with you because we have two beautiful guests. I'm so excited. I've been giggly since we found out yesterday. So the message is, this is what I heard today, that, and this...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Travel and Communication in Another Country - The French Connection,  with Ray and Vanessa Brantley-Newton]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go.</span></span></p>
<p>The BEAUTIFUL Vanessa Brantley-Newton is back, this time with her BRILLIANT husband Ray! They join us from their vacation in Paris, France, and share their adventures, experiences, wisdom, and advice for life, travel, food, love, art, and how to respectfully and lovingly travel the earth.</p>
<p>We love connecting with Vanessa and Ray. Join us as we discuss ways our fabulousness translates wherever we go. The world is a small town and it is so good to connect!</p>
<p>How is it that even though we may not speak the same language, we can completely understand each other?</p>
<p>Is it possible that we all have encoded something in our hearts that can translate for us and enable us to communicate, transcending words? Are there codes that we can access through sacred geometry in our bodies that when we assume a specific posture, can change the way we communicate and the way others are able to understand our inner nature?</p>
<p><strong> Vanessa Brantley-Newton on Instagram:</strong></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/?hl=en</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><a href="https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/">https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"> <span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>Vanessa's Ted Talk:</strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c</a></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><br />Magasin Sennelier, the art store,<br /><br />the Louvre;<br /><br />store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street,<br /><br /></strong></span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;"><strong><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maison Bossier <a href="https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/">https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/</a><br /><br /> the Les Frenchies https://lesfrenchiestravel.com/<br /><br />the power pose</span></span></strong></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT – The French Connection With Vanessa and Ray</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, welcome to our friendly world, everyone. Okay, look, look, look, look, look okay if you can't, if you can't see me. Listen, listen, listen, listen to this. And if you can't, if you can't understand the words that I'm saying, like you speak another language.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">If you can't speak the same language, I want you to feel me out. Just feel me out. I have a message for you. Most of you listening know where the message came from. Where was I when I got the message? Nevermind. Don't say it, but you all know the one room where I receive messages, my guidance of what I'm supposed to do comes and it came today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm so happy to share today with you because we have two beautiful guests. I'm so excited. I've been giggly since we found out yesterday. So the message is, this is what I heard today, that, and this goes for you, Matt, because it came with like computer jargon that we're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And as I heard this, I remembered certain examples. So I was a teenager. I worked at this camera store in LA. It was right next door to UCLA. And most of our clientele were, either doctors or professors at UCLA that would come in and I worked the film counter, the processing counter, the film processing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, one of our customers was a professor and she spoke like six or seven different languages. And so one day I was looking at her and I was saying, you know, sometimes I can read people's minds. Like it comes and goes, but I can completely feel, hear and see things in people. And she's like, that's really interesting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you, do you speak any other languages? So I told her the languages I speak. She told me hers. I did not speak any languages that she spoke. Oh, I'm so excited. And I'm out of breath. Okay. So here's what happened. So she's like, all right, let's do an experiment for a quick second. I will tell you something different things in different languages and let's see what happens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I braced myself, we connected, I looked into her eyes. She was looking into my eyes. I felt open. Like there was, uh, an open highway between us and she started talking and then she stopped. And then I repeated what she said in English. I did not speak the language she spoke, but I understood what she said and I can't do it all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we started screaming like, oh, it was so great. And so that example of that has actually happened to me on the road. So as I'm photographing different projects around the planet, I have definitely been in areas where the people of that area do not have any care for, or like any, um, consciousness about the government, about, about the lines that are designated to say, this is Ethiopia, this is Kenya.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? They have no, no. Uh, what's the word for it, Matt? They don't care. It's not that they don't care about. It's not in their consciousness to say, oh, I live in Ethiopia. Each tribe had their own language. You know, like we were far out, there were, they were an entity, uh, a family of their own, not controlled by any government.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And so, as I was photographing the people, and a lot of people asked me, like, how do you end up photographing the people that you photograph though? This is what happens. There's this connection that you feel wherever you go. And I would be sitting with these people and women in particular, and they were just talking amongst themselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I had the great the great blessing of being able to be with them. But once in a while, it's like something clicked and I understood every word they were saying; everything. And they understood me. I was speaking English and they understood me. They were speaking and I completely knew what they were talking about and we communicated that way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And those are the people I photographed. So, um, but that, again goes to the message I got today this morning, which is everyone is encoded with a special gift. And one of those is the ability to communicate that your fabulousness translates wherever you go, which leads us to today because everybody, we have the beautiful Vanessa Brantley-Newton and her wonderful, amazing handsome husband, Ray, everyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yay. Welcome. And Matt is here too. Matt </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:07]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you so much for joining us and guys guess where Vanessa and Ray are right now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> Is it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:19]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> California or Texas. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Where </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">are you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> aaaaaah...Bonjour! We are in Paris, France. We are here finally. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Actually, we knew where you were. We're so excited. We've been planning this for a few months. Now you told us about this and we're so we're so happy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like Vanessa, we have to record when you're in Paris and we want Ray with us. Ray. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. (Ray says "Bonjour!")</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's perfect because our biggest audience outside of the United States is France. We love France so much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So grateful. And so the focus today being connection, we are talking about, oh, you know, what should you pack? And what's it going to be like, and you spoke with my friend Martine and we were talking about what is it like there?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I haven't been back to France. It's been a while since I've been there. So I really don't know what it's like. I cannot wait to hear all the details about your trip. And also I knew, first of all, you're such a wonderful caring couple. You're so brilliant. You're so loving. You have so much, so many gifts that you offer everyone wherever you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I knew the French would love you. I knew the whole country would embrace you. You know, I'm like, didn't I say, didn't I say that Vanessa I'm like, Vanessa, please go full force. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> You really did. You, you really did it. And I have to say we've been here, uh, Crazy stuff happened in America, of course, trying to get here, delayed, delayed, delayed, delayed again, and delayed again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we finally get to France and I have to say sometimes delays are a good thing because what it actually did was we were supposed to fly from Charlotte, into Philadelphia and then from Philadelphia into London and then from London to France. And what happened was because of the delay, the flight attendant said, I'm going to put you on a flight now straight to London, and then a two hour flight from London to Paris.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we got here quicker than we thought, you know? So that was, that was awesome. We'll never do third party, travel again. That third party thing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> texted me about that. I don't know what that is. What is third party? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Third third party, when you are doing, you know, there used to be a time where you could go into a travel agency and sit with them and plan the whole trip.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now everything is done online, you know, especially because of COVID, you know, you really don't get to go into offices anymore and to travel. So there was two travel agents that I had been dealing with for a long time and nobody could get me the price that was really good for us, on the date, that was really good for us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I did it myself, but I did it through a third party, which was Cheapo Air. Avoid Cheapo Air. Avoid them! They are the plague of, um, we, we, we talk about Spirit Airline and that Spirit Airline will steal your spirit. Okay. Cheapo Airline is worse than Spirit. The name speaks for itself, I would say, , for this trip and for future trips for Ray and I, we will definitely be doing the other end, just letting you know, just pay the price, fly well, and fly straight to where you're going and fly straight home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> If </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you're, let's say you're flying with one bag and your country hopping it's okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> because they give you, a budget economy on everything. So it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> has its pluses and minuses</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">it has its pluses and minuses, but, um, yeah, no, not for us, but I will say, getting to the Novotel Hotel and meeting the staff, even with the little bit of French that we are speaking, they have been so kind and just, I find this is very, very true, especially for Americans who are listening</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">who are going to other countries. It's so important that you learn the basics before you go; hello, goodbye, thank you, please. Can you help me? That kind of thing. The French even laugh at us. I mean, they were laughing at us like, you know, but it's, we'll help you. We, you know, we, we tried a little bit goes a long way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you walk into the stores, you need to say "Bonjour", when you walk in, when you leave, you need to say, Au revoir. Or, you know, at least let them know that you're leaving; something, you need to say, thank you, merci beaucoup, you know, when they give you a fork or knife or an, or a menu, say those niceties and watch the whole atmosphere change </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and acknowledge, acknowledge the people, human beings that are bringing you</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the most delicious nourishing feast, right? Matt, Matt. Um, I met Matt and Aikido, Ray. We met in a martial arts school. And so Matt was the teacher's pet at this martial arts school. And I came in like the Tasmanian devil. I talk about this all the time because I came in with mixed martial arts background.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I, I came in ready to break knees and elbows like, and I'm very short on a very, very good day. Maybe I'm reaching five feet tall. Matt is six, four, but I am like the Tasmanian devil coming into this very spiritual, school. And so they had to teach me things, but one of them was to calm down because I want it, I want it to hit people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want to do. I wanted to throw everything and there, they actually told me now, now we don't hit here. Like I was in kindergarten. I'm like, what do you mean we don't hit here? What are you doing? What are we here for? So they taught me this concept. Actually, Matt taught me this concept of the world is your home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you are the host. Walking down the street, walking anywhere you go, it is your home. And it's your job to welcome people and make people feel comfortable. So your host, your, how do you say it, Matt? You said it so brilliantly years ago. And you keep </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:16]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> saying terrible today </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> though. Matt is terrible when I put them on the spot, but basically whoever you meet, you're welcoming them into your home because the world is your home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so to have eye contact and to say, thank you. And, oh my goodness. I remember, you know, when I travel, you can always spot Americans because for example, you're in, at a bakery, they will point at something and almost exactly almost touch it and say, gimme, gimme that one. Give me, oh, no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:50]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no. He used to, to, but my Lord, I do at some sometimes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because I was around and I would have a fit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:58]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I got a hand raised from Ray. Yes. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:05]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> give me that one. No no, not that one. That one, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that one </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I come in, I'm like, Ooh, it's so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> beautiful. May have that one????.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> It's like going into a donut shop. I have three of those, five of these six, if you're just pointing, I don't want to name them. It takes too long, just point grunt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> And I find some men, men thing, but I find too, like, like you said, fun, it is very American. It is, it is so American. I mean, um, at times I'm embarrassed even while here, cause we've seen some Americans it's rather embarrassing and it is, you know, now I know, oh, I get why the French don't particularly care for Americans.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now I have to tell you and Matt, being here in France, Ray and I have really counted the black or colored people that we've seen here on visitation. I mean, you know, walking down the street or going into a restaurant or a store or whatever. Yeah. You see people of color, you know, walking around and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just say vacation. There's, you know, there's a bunch of black people. My niece who, lives in Charlotte and, goes to Dubai, just came back from France, what about three weeks ago was here three days. They were only here three days, you know, but she travels and she learns so much from the travel about, you know, customs. This is why it's so important to learn people's language, learn their customs, you know, that in France,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">okay, any time after three, most restaurants are closed. They'll open up again at seven o'clock find other things to do, you know? Um, it is, uh, it is brilliant. I think that's why they don't walk around as stressed. Oh, walk around as, um, uh, occupied with so many different things. Even the way they dress; Ray and I had a chance to sit at a little restaurant called Dino today, and we sat and we, people watched while we ate, and seeing older French women walk up and down the street in their high heel shoes and their suits, their Chanel bags and, just very classy, very, um, very sophisticated, very French. It was, it was amazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was amazing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's a sense of integrity and a sense of self-worth that everyone carries with them. And I think that's true. That's the true style right there, because you can wear anything. You can wear a potato sack. Do you remember? I remember watching our Lucille Ball episode where they went, I think it was Paris.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They were in Paris and she wanted all these designer things. And then Ricky, Ricky said, oh, look, here's a designer. Cause he was too cheap to buy her the designer stuff. And he literally gave her a potato sacks with like hats. Do you remember that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Did you ever see that? But one of the best episodes ever, that was really good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so, and when she found out she was mad and then later they found all these models on a photo-shoot wearing the same potato sacks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> I mean, it looks amazing. Yes. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So it's all about, it's all about the vibe. It's all about self-worth and you know, the value that you hold about yourself and others. That is key, not only for yourself, but for others </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:51]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and to communicate taking us back to our central point.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Obviously, if you feel comfortable, if you feel accepting adventurous, like, Ooh, I want to see, you know, I want you to describe, then you're going to have better communications with people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. There was this one day. I have so many French stories because I love the French so much. Uh, but one story was, I was trying to, I was actually on my way back, I was, I was a student in England and every chance I had gone, I was in France.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Every chance I got and you know, it's so close, so you can just in two hours be there. I was late for finals. I was in France and I had to quickly get back to England to take my exams. And I was freaking out because I was lost in Paris. I was by myself and I was really lost, you guys, like I had no idea where transportation was like, I don't know how I got myself to where I was and I was starting to panic, like panic. And this, this man comes closer to me and I'm shaking my hands. And like, I'm like freaking out. I go up to him and I lost all my senses because in English I'm like, excuse me, excuse me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">sir.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he started laughing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was just laughing. And, and then in French, he's like, you, you speak French, don't you? And then, so I responded, yes, yes. I totally speak French. He's like, well, ask me in French. I'm like, oh my God, I'm freaking out. He's like, that's okay. That's okay. In English. He's like, tell me in French.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, but you know what? No, it was not an ouch moment. It was loving because even though he was saying those words and it seems uncomfortable and mean, it wasn't at all because he had the most beautiful spirit about him. And he was, he was looking at me in the eyes as a human being and he was smiling and he just saw, he just saw the comedy in it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was like, and he made me slow down and he made me take a breath. And then I started speaking in French and he's like, there you go. And then he's like, okay, go this way. It's right there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> No, that happened. That happened to me today. Sorry to cut you off. While we're in the candy store, the woman in the store was talking Spanish to me and I comprehended it, but I couldn't respond.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I froze and I felt bad. I should be speaking fluent Spanish, but the days when it'll flow and there are days when it ain't coming out. And today was the day where it didn't come out. She's trying to talk to me. And all I could think of was my mother, my mother, my mother, because all I remember was every time I heard Spanish from an older woman, it was my mother disciplining me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And for that moment, nothing came out of my mouth. And when we left the store, I felt ashamed that I should be speaking this and I just panicked </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it wasn't there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> It was a beautiful moment though. We went to a little candy shop called Maison Bossier it is some of my favorite chocolate. We went in and I mean, when I tell you the store is so tiny, this store was probably started somewhere and the very, very early 18 hundreds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's still in the same area, same store, everything. I mean, they even still have the old receipts and the shelves, nothing is like new, except for the candy and the iPad that they do the transaction on, but the store is gorgeous and the woman was so, so very, very kind. I came in and, , I, said bonjour , parlez-vous Englais?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she said, you know, a little, you know, she speaks a little bit. And uh, she goes, I speak Spanish. And then she looked at; when Ray said. He, uh, that he could comprehend. She began to speak to him and she began to ask him, but it was such a beautiful moment. There was another woman that came in and she was a woman of color.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She came in and, um, I think they were shocked at how much chocolate we bought.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think we almost emptied the store. It was ridiculous. How much time I... seriously y'all we spent about $400 in chocolate. That's how that's how much chocolate that's how much I love it because you can't get it here in America. This is my first trip to France and won't be my last one, but it will be my, my only one for a while.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, um, just the woman sitting there; and this is so much about what you were talking about earlier about communication. she spoke to the black woman that was sitting there in French and the black woman turned to us and she said to us, she said, your spirit is so beautiful. And I wanted to cry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She said, I, she said, your spirit is so beautiful. And she says, thank you for coming in. And I was like, you know, I knew "merci beaucoup," but you know, she, she was telling us I really like her and that meant everything to me. That meant everything to me. So you know what it is too, is your energy; how you walk in a room, people perceive you before you even open your mouth and say anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I walked into Shakespeare company, we go there and of course it's a tourist trap, everybody and their mother is walking around. And, I get the book that I wanted for my daughter and I'm walking up to the counter and I go "merci beaucoup". And the woman says in English, I love your energy. Your energy is everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It really is so important that we have a right attitude ourselves and when we walk into a room. It's not the other person's responsibility to respond to you. It's about you walking in the room and commanding their attention, whether they want it or not, and whether they want to walk past you and act like you don't exist or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm not saying everybody's here in France has been nice. So we have a breakfast the other morning, and it was a young lady who was not, she was not happy to see me. I don't know what it was, but I, you know, I, I, I'm a woman of faith. I sat there and I prayed for her. I said, maybe she's having a rough day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know she's having a rough day, but the waiter, oh my goodness; kissed me and everything. You know, it's, it's, it's not everybody, but you know one person, all the other five people that I met today, just beautiful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And it totally makes sense because the world is your home. You are the host, you, you, it is your job to welcome people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you just do that naturally. Vanessa, you didn't have to go to our martial arts school to be told that, you know, uh, once in Paris and I was with my friend, Abe, Abe Moss, wherever you are, I miss you so much. I wish you could reach out to us. Abe Moss had a very famous dad and everything, like he led a pretty cushy life, I think, but we were, we were, and he hated Paris, by the way, he hated Paris.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, oh, I love it here so much. Come on, come on. Let's go walking together. He's like, I hate it. Just walk with me to the train station. Cause I want to get out of here. I'm like, all right, I'll go with you to the train station. So, you know, the world works in very funny ways. So we're at the train station.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And remember I told you about pickpockets, Vanessa, like yeah. Uh, the it's it's um, he was so very graciously pick-pocketed because he didn't realize it had happened until he was about to get on a train. And he realized his wallet was gone. His passport was, everything was gone off of his body. Like he didn't feel anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">He was so distraught. He's like, I gotta call my dad. I'm like, don't call your dad. We're okay. We're okay. But call him later. Let's try to figure things out and do what we can here and then call your dad and let him pull the strings. Right. Let's just, just, just humor me for a second. He's like, okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was so upset. Well, of course, but I'm saying like, but here's what happened. We went, I'm like, let's go to the police station and just fill out a report and see where we can w how we can, um, get ahold of the embassy and get, get something started with your passport. So we go to the, uh, the police state.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you guys, long story short Abe is sitting there with his head, his face and his hand, and he's mumbling. And then he finally kind of, he doesn't yell at me, but he's like "Fawn, I am so glad you are having a good time" because, well, I was translating for him because I was trying to fill out the police report in French.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. So I was translating the thing is that the police officer first, her </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">police, the police </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">officer was really, really </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">cute. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:24]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then the police officer asked me out on a date,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:33]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, you don't want to be with him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was so happy. Like he was the sweetest person. And anyway, it's a long story, but we ended up going the Louvre after that. And we ended up having a good day, Abe and I. But the thing is that meeting this police officer, because I have a fear of police. Like I have like my whole body chemistry changes with police, but this police officer taught me so much about the culture and, about France. He was the kindest person and he ended up shortly after that, not being a police officer anymore, he said to me, Fawn, I'm going to get fired because I don't give anyone tickets.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was the sweetest person. So after that, he became a school bus driver for kindergartners in his, in his hometown, in France he's but like just, you know, it's about your spirit. Like my spirit was like very open and loving about the whole culture, the whole France, you know, and of course I met the most loving police officer to help.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, an officer who loved all humanity and stuck up for everyone and would never give anyone a ticket. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's amazing. That is amazing. We have the same fear, but you know, it, uh, even, even while being here, uh, there's a couple that we watch, Ray and I. They're called the Les Frenchies I don't know if you ever heard of them or not. They are a online, a YouTube, a couple that travel France. They go back and forth to America, but for the most part, they stay here in France and they give you all kinds of tips for when you travel to France, what restaurants to go to, do you go to aboulangerie?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you go to a patisserie? Do you go to a tourist trap restaurant or do you go to a restaurant that is a more of a street restaurant where the locals will go. What Ray and I found out was that, yeah, you want to go to those boulangeries and quick street food that they talked about because they're intermingling with the community and the food is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> delicious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, as a traveler, you're eating a delicious meal for not a expensive price, and we've started doing it, going to the street, restaurants and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> soups </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:08]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> and Vanessa spirit brightens up the place. And we usually get discounts or free things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> The day we walked into Sephora. And I really went in there to just get some stuff that was confiscated when we came into the country. Really wasn't going in there to shop and was not going to buy myself a mother's day gift or anything like that. And ended up with a bag of stuff because of the sales woman, , shout out to July, that was her name July. July was just delighted and excited that somebody from America was there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think she was delighted because the attitude was one of: it's so nice to meet you. It's so nice to be here with you. And, , she kept saying the same thing, your spirit, your spirit. And so spirit is very, very important. If you're watching negative things. If you're having negative conversations, if you lack confidence, if you lack self-esteem that comes across when you meet people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I, you know, there was a time when I wasn't able to look people in the eye. Now I look you in the eye. I speak to you. There was a time where I would say hello, and now I'm like, HELLO! BOUNJOUR! , you know, it's more lively. And it's because I have confidence in Vanessa. And that confidence is not a cockiness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">There's two different things. Conseit and confidence is two different things. Confident that if you get to know me, you'll like me. And I, you, the same thing, even in not understanding your language, the kindness that comes across even, from, got in the car, Ray and I got in the car with a taxi driver named Vincent. Vincent drove us from the airport.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was so sweet. And so kind, and before I got out of the car, I put my hand on his shoulder and I said, "Bonsoir" you know, and, "Merci beaucoup". And he was like, oh, you speak French very well</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and everything. And I introduced myself, to him, and he was just so kind, but the gesture of putting my hand on his shoulder connected us in a way where he was like, you are not like the Americans that come and just we're here to serve you. That's it, we're just servants.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> And knowing Vanessa I've seen her transform.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When I first met her, Vanessa was very shy. Her hair used to cover half her face. It's like she was hiding. But I noticed when we used to work in the hospital together, she had a very bright smile, no matter how much she tried to cover her face, her smile would, it was bright. And I used to always tell her, you need to move your hair back and show your smile and well, it worked.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, she she's my wife now, but that's what I saw in her. I saw that energy. It was there. It it's like confidence. And we're going through that now with our daughter </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> confidence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:16]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, I have to say confidence, first of all is catching. If someone around you is confident, you're much more likely to be confident. As well, as they've noticed certain things, like, I work fully remote and I like working with teams where I can see the people I work with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you don't, if you can't see the people you work with, I mean, they're basically closing themselves off. They're telling you, they don't want to talk to you. They feel less confident. Your team on the whole feels like it's kind of spiraling down. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. And it's interesting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Something that they discovered was, cause sociologists or psychologists love doing experiments, especially with zoom now. But they noticed like at the end of a meeting that, they had somebody just start waving like crazy and it took about two or three weeks and then everybody would wave goodbye and everybody felt better about everything at that point.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, it's just, you know, if you go looking for happiness, you're going to find it. If you go look into misery, you're going to find it. Go looking for happiness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also , it's a physical thing too. Like, they teach you that, like, let's say before you go into a huge meeting or a presentation or whatever situation where you are on, there's a, what, what is the superhero it's called the power pose.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like for five minutes by yourself, in a room, you just stand with your feet, hip distance apart, and your hands on your hips, Vanessa is doing it right now. I wish we had video. And your, your chin up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:48]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Vanessa practically looks divine. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> She is, SHE IS DIVINE. . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:52]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Like, you know, Jesus divine, my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> She is, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">she is GODDESS</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">there's a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:57]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> light on you when you did that. My goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Okay. If I tell you Matt and Fawn, I learned that, it was just before I did my Ted Talk about five years ago. I wasn't lacking confidence, but I was a little intimidated by this audience. We were in Sonoma, California, and it was during the fires when everything had everybody rich, poor had lost everything and the community had come together and we really, it was like 18 speakers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was, I'm always either the first one or the last one, but I was, I was the last speaker. And, um, I remember my sister saying, you need to do the super superhero stance. And she taught it to me and I remember standing there and doing it. And he made me do it for the whole five minutes. And I walked out on stage and delivered, a speech that got a standing ovation, over 700 and some odd people, but really what touched me, where the tears and people crying and bringing them joy, just sharing my little story, but not expecting it to be a standing ovation type of situation. But that superhero stance does something to your spirit. It actually ignites your experience of your spirit to, to go to another level. Not like I said,not in conceit, but in that I can do this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I, you know, I think we should really teach children this stance. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that stance. I think we, I think society unteaches them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Oh, definitely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Who are you? What's the, what's so special about you. Can you go and we as parents, we really have to be advocates for our children, where this is concerned. This is not the teacher's responsibility. So for all of you will think it's the teacher's responsibility. It is not the teacher's responsibility. It is not even the marshal. If your, if your child's in the martial arts, I am a Tai Chi, studier. This is not something your Tai-Chi master has to teach you or your teacher or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is something that parents need to do with their children. Join as a family. Today, you're going to go to school and you're going to ACE that test. I'm going to tell you how you're going to do it. We're going to pray. We're going to, we're going to say some affirmations, and then you're going to stand there for five minutes in your superhero.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> It's funny. We were going over that. Well, our daughter was about nine years old and she was a big wrestling fan and it was this one wrestler that used to talk with so much confidence. He sounded cocky. And I told her before the exam, think that you are him because he talks it, he walks it, he shows it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and she did it and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">she aced the exams.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's amazing how self-awareness. But when as young children, we beat each other up. Yeah. Cause I'm having a bad day. So I'm gonna take it out on you. But like, as Vanessa would say, it's up to the parents to reassure, to recharge. It's not you it's him. It's her. Be the best you can. People. And as you grow up, you realize people are always out here to beat you down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If they're having a bad day, like the waiter in the restaurant. Okay, fine. You're having a bad day, but God bless you. I'm okay. Whatever it is bothering you. Sorry, but me being a new Yorker, I wouldn't care. You're having a bad day. Oh, that's too bad. That's too bad. Here's a sarcastic remark to take with you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> But, but, but he's learned, you know, on that very same thing, but that superhero thing is so very, very powerful </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And they found out that it affects other people. So they did this blind study where they had one group do the power pose, and then they had one group that didn't and they were all going on</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">job interviews, the ones that did, and they all had the same qualifications, the ones that did the power pose, all got the job. People can sense it. It's on another level. And also they did this study with like people who go on what's that show, uh, Shark Tank, the ones that show themselves coming in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And using their hands. So you can see their hands, even as I'm talking and no one can see us. When I use my hands, you're able to understand me better when I use my hands. It's a scientific thing that they've looked into that if you let your, if you let your body move, there's a better form of communication.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The other person receives things that you're saying, if you sit on your hands and do it, they don't hear you. It's really interesting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:56]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> So being a new Yorker that's um, I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> okay. That</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ray, Ray, we've been wanting to talk to you for the longest time because you have that engineer mind, which is Matt also. And we're just wondering, can you tell us about how you all work together? Just as a quick example, I'm completely illogical. Matt is logical. He's also very spiritual, but he won't let it go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:23]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> illogical, say your intuitive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Say you make decisions based more on emotion. Don't say your it's like saying I'm not something I don't, I don't like that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> illogical (emphasizing like a robot). I just put ill right on it. I do it on purpose to just explain how radically different we are in the way we operate. I'm not saying actually Matt is highly spiritual and like very intuitive, but like, we were just wondering how does that work?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, and also, oh, I also, I know you have dinner plans coming up, so I like want to squeeze everything in really quick, Vanessa. I want to see how you, I want to know what you've been seeing and what you feel translates in a person. Like what's the first thing that translates to you. The first time I ever heard you speak was in your class actually.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you described someone's shoes as being extremely pointy. I think you said that. And that I think about that all the time, because you know, I just want to know how things get translated to you, to your spirit when you're out in the world and Ray, how did things get translated to you and how do you translate to others?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because you know, here, Matt, can you speak on this? Speak</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">engineer, talk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How does it, how does it work? How do you work together? Are you opposites? Like, are you opposites in the way you see the world and the way you operate and communicate? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:56]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> I think Vanessa would see the colors I'm seeing how they were made. And yeah, as, as an engineer, I, I, when somebody will ask me a question, I'll give you the answer and all the details behind it and the history.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Some people don't want to hear that. Just tell me the answer. My brother used to get annoyed. He would ask me a question and I'm going to give you the whole technical way out of it because it's, I'm nerdy. Yeah. That's I love to give information and I still do that. And sometimes it's annoying and, but now I'm catching myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They don't want to know just give them the answer, that's it, but on the inside, I'm bolting with energy to explain, Hey, and by the way, and give you more information. And a lot of people, they don't want to hear it. And as an engineer, I go from being technical for eight to 10 hours a day to nobody wants to hear it. So for me, it hurts sometimes when I'm ever around my family, nobody's into engineering, but thankfully I have a niece and nephew they're interested in the space program and they can ask me, I could sit down and talk with them and they're only 11 and 12 years old, but I felt it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want to regurgitate all this information to them because it's how I learned. I asked questions. I was around nerdy people and it's nice to be around somebody who can speak your language as a nerd. And the world today, I was told, told nerds are cool now thank you. But there was a time when we were shunned, scorned made fun of, but to know that now it's popular to be this way, but I have to find the people to be with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> absolutely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> because not everybody wants to know how a rocket goes in the air and what happens, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> you know, and I will say too, as, as Ray, as a man and, I'm a woman, we do speak differently.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There would be times when Ray would come in from work and my whole thing was much like a puppy. Hi, sweetie, HOW ARE YOU? How was your day? And he's like, bring it down a notch. I didn't, you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> let's, you can figure out this equation problem. I don't want to talk to you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yes. And I'm going to go to the basement and I don't want to hear your voice until I come upstairs, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it wasn't, it wasn't this whole, for all my feminists out there, please don't feel like, oh, he was just trying to shut a sister down. That's not what he was doing. It is, my mind has been on engineering all day. I have to defrag for a second. And once I defrag, then we can kind of have a conversation about the baby, my day and all that went on with my day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Me, you know, uh, Ray teases me still now, Matt and Fawn. He goes: if somebody called you at three o'clock in the morning, you would still answer the phone pleasantly. Wouldn't you? It would never be hello. It's never that, hi, what's going on? At 3am in the morning. He goes, somebody, you know, I'm calling, tell you that so-and-so died.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, I'm so sorry. You know, then I'd , bring it down. But it is like that. And it's always been like that for me, I guess for me working in a hospital, there was never an off button for, uh, for me. So, uh, and then I was doing the job that nobody wanted. I was a phlebotomist, which is a vampire basically. And I was walking into people's rooms, being cursed out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Most of the time didn't want me, uh, the, the worst were having parents who would say, like, I was a dog. I was going to be sicced onto their child to take blood. If you don't behave, I'm going to have that lady over there, stick you. Why would you do that? I'm here to help the kid. I'm not here to hurt your kid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm here to help you and the kid. You don't want the doctor to come in here and draw the blood doctor, come in and tell the blood. You will lose it, really will lose it, but it was very hurtful. And what I had to do was not internalize it. In a hospital. You get to see everybody. This is the one thing that I've learned.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think it's why I am the way that I am. Sickness doesn't care what color you are. Doesn't care if you're a man or a woman doesn't care. If you're a kid doesn't care. If you were just born or you're 105 years old, it doesn't care if you live in Hollywood, it doesn't care that you're Gabrielle Union or Tom Hanks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It don't care. It doesn't care. And I had to kind of put on that attitude. So when I walked in the room and somebody would tell me,get out of my room, or whatever, they were cussing me out or whatever, not to really take it to heart. You're in a hospital. You're not feeling good. You might've gotten some bad news from a doctor.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't want to hear from nobody. Okay. So, so I had to learn how to kind of bring it down. It's not about you, it's about your patient. And I kind of have that attitude when it comes to people. I E the waitress that was not so nice. I looked at her most of the night, what's going on with you because much like you fawn, I am spiritual much like Matt as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Very, very spiritual. I pick up people's spirits. I could tell there was something that was going on with her. And also that she was struggling a little bit with the color. I knew that, but I'm like, that's when you, because I watched her how she took care of the other customers that came in that were not my color.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She was very kind to them, not so kind to me. And the way that she spoke to her coworker, who was the color that I am not very kind to him as well. So I'm like you you're having a struggle or whatever, but you know, it is, it is what it is, but I have to stay grounded that way in kindness because with the low self-esteem, with the lack of confidence, it brings the energy down so low that it radiates to where cancer starts, where depression starts, where all kinds of sadness, diseases, everything start at 42 megs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you start getting into love and acceptance, that's when we get into the hundreds, the five hundreds and then enlightenment, which is a thousand Watts. That's where I want to be; enlightened. So I would shut my mouth and not say anything, if it will bring peace. Does that make sense? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. And it makes sense because when you have that light it casts a light on all the darkness out there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yes. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:49]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> wish I had her confidence. I'm the opposite. I grew up in a very confrontational environment. So being around Vanessa has taught me everything doesn't even need a reaction. So I'm learning to just shut up, let it go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> But which is very hard. I mean, cause um, Ray comes from a family that will do, what's called the, does its, where they'll sit there and they'll crack on eachother.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> We would just verbally tear each other to pieces. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Verbal, verbally tear each other to pieces. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> And, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, that is what's baked into me plus a little bit of Groucho Marx. So that's my defense mechanism. I'm going to cut you up sarcastically and enjoy it. And, but as an adult, I can't do that. And I have to learn how to shut it off because it's a reaction from me can create the wrong compensation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Exactly. Yeah. Let it go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I find that an engineer kind of mind there, there's a certain tone that comes out once in a while that you may not mean. For example, we bought a house a years ago. And we were trying to get things done in it very, very quickly. Like we needed flooring and we couldn't find any company to come in and do it within the timeline that we had.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And Matt, I said, Matt, please, can you call this list that I have? And he did. And there was one woman he spoke to who said, I'm really busy now with so many clients. I can't do the work for you. And Matt said, "good for you," but he </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:29]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> exactly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">good for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you. I'm really happy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, but he was genuinely happy because back then I was starting my business.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We were really conscious of small businesses, mom and pop businesses, which she was. And so he literally was genuinely happy for her, but because of his mind and his Mo state and his, you know, when you're in a car in front of the computer all day, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:53]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Beyond in a logical state. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So very logical. And so she got so offended </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:00]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and she should have, because I did come across as an a-hole, I didn't mean </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to, but yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, I had to call her and say, this is what he meant. And so she calmed down, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> I could see engineers, we were trying to resolve deluge with trying to figure things out. That is our purpose to figure things out. And if I have a list of alternatives, once you tell me no I'm going on, but I may come back to you</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">if I feel we can work something out. But time is of the essence with engineers. It's always get it fixed yesterday. You give me 10 people and nine out of 10, it's going to give me the answer I don't want to hear I'm hanging up the phone immediately. Let's move on. There's nothing you could do for me. It's not, I'm not being rude, but I need an answer quickly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> and much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like what Matt said, uh, you know, his answer was great, you're working it wasn't she took it as, oh, you're being sarcastic. And that wasn't the case at all. You're busy. Great. Wonderful, good for you!. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> I got move on. Sorry. Next thing. That's just the way it we're we're we're built like Vanessa would know that. Well, she wouldn't know I would come home sometimes trying to figure something out and there's a team of us and it's taken us days, sometimes weeks the burden is on somebody to lead up the team.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we bring it home and that's how we think. I'm not here to dabble. I'm here to get it right. And sometimes it comes across as too cocky, but it's like you hired somebody to come and fix the problem and leave. I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to get paid through my job, go home. And when I was in aerospace, that was my demeanor.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In the later years, when I realized I knew what I was doing, I knew who I was, and I don't have time. Because time is wasted. I have a bunch of projects on my desk and I need to finish them. The problems never stopped. That's why our minds are so matter of fact, yeah, you finished one problem, there is another. And you know, you going on vacation is still a problem.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People are calling you, sending you emails. I don't know I'm on holiday. Leave me alone. Right. That's just the way it is. We're not rude. We're engineers. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And some people, some people use it as their whole, um, their whole shtick. Like I'm going to give you another martial arts example. We went to a Sumo match one day, Matt and I went to a Sumo match and was the guy Māori?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The guy that would yell with his mouth wide open. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:32]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He was a Pacific Islander. He was, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this guy was very intimidating looking the tattoos, very, very big Sumo big, but like they had different classes of big, by the way, they had very thin female Sumo wrestlers also. But anyway, this guy was very aggressive and before every one of his matches, he would do this</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">yell. Like he would get into the other person's face and just growl. What did he do? Exactly. It was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:01]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> almost like a Māori war chant yell thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yes, it was, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it was very intense. I'm sorry. Really quick Ray, please, please. Don't lose your thought, Ray, but like very quickly what happened was, you know, it's all about figuring out how to diffuse a situation with just one word or like one glance because his opponent, this one time when he did that was, was he Hungarian?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It doesn't matter where the guy was from. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:26]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He was the French national champion as a matter was he, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he was smaller and less intimidating. Like actually he had a kind demeanor and so they were all ready to go. The guy that the guy did, his war cry in his face. And the guy, they were all crouched up, ready to go. You know how they, they crouched down, they put their hands on their knees.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This guy took one hand off his knees and just gave him the thumbs up. Simple, like good for you waiting. And the whole croowd, the whole audience started laughing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:03]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you know, what's so did the other guy, the intimidating guy. And I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> I w I will tell you, I had a similar situation about, uh, 10 years ago,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I won a contest, singing. It was called the Mary Mary show, here in America. It was two sisters who were gospel artists. I entered the contest and, you know, I didn't even really have any clue whether I was gonna win or not. I was just going to sing and do my thing. There were a lot of young people, I mean, much younger than I was a lot of young people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there was this young girl that came on and every week you would have to have people vote. So it was done all on Facebook, but you could see, and people were coming in and voting family members and everybody had to vote every day for about 130 days they would have to vote. You would see your box would go up and all the winners that were, in that week, I would still be in the box, but I would always be the last one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Then there were weeks when I would be the first one. I didn't do all the things that they did. They did a whole lot of antics and makeup and different things like that. I put some makeup on and I sang into a spoon. Literally I sang into a spoon. This young girl came on and she had her families come members come on to kind of, egg me and to heckle me. She would come on and you're not going to when you're old.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he would, I mean, she would say such mean things. I'm not even gonna go into some of the things that she said. She just said some really nasty things. And I would always be very kind. I would always be very tired. I hope you win. I hope this works out really, really good for you. This would be an opportunity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't have to wish anything for me. Okay. Alrighty. But not to cut you off, Ray, but I went on through that and I knew what God was saying to me. You're going to win and I would hear it over and over again. You're going to win because you got personality. They're not just looking for the voice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're looking for the stage presence and the personality. And sure enough, I won first two things they said to me was you're mad, crazy singer, but more than your singing, your personality was everything; you singing into that spoon and having so much joy, singing into a spoon at your desk, with all your artwork behind you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That that's why we picked you your personality.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> And it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like playing sports. And most sports, I grew up playing American baseball and most sports as an individual athlete, there are moments when you're on your own, you're by yourself. You gotta make that play to hit, whatever it takes to win, it's you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Athletes do have a Superman stance, like the Sumo wrestler. He had his grunt, his yell. All athletes have something that pushes the fear behind. And pushes their confidence forward. We have to do it, or else we'll shrink, we'll crumble when the time is right. And over a course of time, as an athlete, we learn how to just shut it off and all athletes, no matter who they are, we're nervous.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We don't want to screw it up. I don't care who it is. It's in the back of your mind. I don't want to be the one. It's there and athletes know how to turn it on and off in an instant. And it's the same thing. We have to know how to connect with it, identify what is helping us and put that forward and push everything back at that moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's what I feel, what it's all about. We all have to find that switch and going from engineering to sports, there were days when I'd leave my job, go straight to the game. I'm stressed out from the job. I'm in the game and there's a tight moment. I can't be worried about the job. I have to turn that switch and it's a weird way of handling us as a human, but we have to do it, find it, connect with it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And sometimes that voice of doubt in the back of your mind, it's always going to be there. We have to know how to control it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you, Ray. You are so amazing and beautiful. Both of you. Matt has been quiet and I guarantee you when we stopped recording, he's going to say you didn't let me speak. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:48]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, I've been totally fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This time you have me on tape saying it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But I just, I want to thank you. I know you have dinner plans and there's so many other questions I have for you, Ray. And I know Matt does too, and I want to know more about how your art is changing from being in Paris, . Oh my goodness. There's so much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I really want to continue the conversation and I do respect and value your time. And I want you to go and have the most exquisite dinner every dinner every day, every night, every evening. I want you to have a beautiful every day and I'm so literally like Matt and I are so giggly over here in our little apartment in a tiny town in Colorado because Ray and Vanessa are in Paris.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> we. It's been amazing. You have a, so seven 15, so, so I thought </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you were supposed to be there at seven 15. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yeah. Okay, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> man, it's just me and you, the ladies can go now, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> but you asked about the art, um, you know, I've been filling up sketchbooks for awhile. And so being in France, this is the perfect place to sketch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Actually, I have a friend of mine that's coming from Amsterdam to be here with me on Saturday and she and I are going to people watch and sketch all day. That's all we plan to do sketch and collage. So I'm looking forward to that. But, I had the most wonderful opportunity to go to, Magasin Sennelier</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think it is Magasin Sennelier, the art store, right across from the Louvre; amazing. I want to say to anybody who is an artist, that's listening to this podcast, I think every artist needs to come to France at some point in their career and go to the art stores here. They are nothing like the American art stores, nothing I what's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> It took </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:55]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> some of the stories are old. Yeah. They, they, the oldest store to, from my opinion, the more stuff they would have that is not on display. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yes. So there are brands of watercolor. There are pencils, there are paint pigments and things that you can't order in America, you know, and Amazon is supposed to be this online thing, but you can get anything you want.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are certain things that even Amazon will not be able to carry. I walk into the store, you can feel the energy from the store from the 17 hundreds. I mean, literally you could feel it. You could feel that there have been famous artists that came in here to buy art supplies. The store is very, very tiny.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, it has a spiral staircase that went up and when we went up, I mean, very small rooms and everything because the people back then were very tiny, you know? So it's not this big store that you walk into, but even the cabinetry that they keep all the pigments in, it was, it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my whole entire life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> We used to know of a store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street, was like that it was a store that was around for maybe a hundred years, old creepy floors, tight walls, but they had everything in there. And if you didn't see it, or if you knew what you wanted, they had it somewhere in the basement warehouse , and this store reminded me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was exactly like Pearl paints, uh, the people so very, very friendly. Although there was one young man who was not happy to see all the art supplies I was buying early in the morning. This is too much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I hate you Americans. I was like, oh, okay. I, I understand. But it was, it was tremendous. I mean, um, I will go to probably another art store. I have to say too, as a children's book, illustrator going and seeing the children's books here have been the most amazing thing. They are not like American children's books.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">French. Yes. The French are not afraid to talk about hard things with children as Americans are, we are, um, we, we just lack decorum. We don't know how to talk about death with children, but I know the French French do the Germans do definitely. And to walk into these stores and to see books that you're not going to find in America, that it's been everything, Fawn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It has been the best trip ever in life was coming to France. We're going </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> to have tons of new, uh, pictures, uh, paintings, all kinds of stuff coming out from this trip. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I, I so appreciate you sharing everything because it, it helps me so much because one of the big pains I've had is I do talk to my kids the way Europeans do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I do feed my children the way Europeans do. And I've lost so many, um, like mom, friends, you know, like other families that have kids are our kids ages. They stopped talking to me because of how I raise our kids, which is with honesty and inclusion and, you know, total nourishment. I don't, I don't expose them to anything horrible, but w the conversations we have are so different than the conversations, my fellow American families have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> because a child or a young adult asked </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the door is open.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if you don't fill their mind with the right information, the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">alternative is worse. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> But I will, I will say this too, in, in getting ready to close, is that, Fawn, when you and Matt are spiritual, like you are when you are also people of integrity, that changes everything. And so I will leave you with this: mediocrity is right down by the feet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It will always stay around the feet and the knees. When you decide you want to go up, the air is thin. And not many people can say they're with you. And so it is really just the wrong people dropping off and that's fine. That's okay. And we have to be okay with that, is that we don't need 150 different friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We don't even need 10 fronts. We need three good friends. That's it. Three. And when we get there and get into a comfortable place of, you know, I don't need, I feel I need a 10 girlfriends. You don't need 10 girlfriends. You know, I, I tell my daughter this all the time. It's not about you having five friends or 20 friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you have two good friends that if the car broke down, all of y'all would find a way home. You would find a way together. You would find a way. That's the kind of friend I want to be. And if I can't have those kinds of friends around me, I'm good. I'm good. Exactly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I, I consider those friends, family, my family, and, and I will speak for Matt too. He's very quiet today. I will speak for all of us here, Matt, the kids, Elle and Allegra, and myself, that Ray, Vanessa, you are our family. I am so happy. We are so happy to have you in our lives. And I, I love you. We love you so much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> We love you. We love you. I love you all. You know, I fell in love with you all the first time I ever did an interview with you. Uh, Matt's energy is so high and so very, very powerful. And the two of you together are like plug-in socket. You know, once the two together, the energy is just popping and that, that means everything for a relationship and we consider you family, and we're all plugged in together. And that's a good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My deepest desire right now </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:21]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is to go to France. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, it was when you told me you guys were going, we're like, we're going too, we're moving. The boxes are being packed. My desire is to live near you and to, to share more conversations with you, both. Ray, Vanessa, truly,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">thank you. Love you so much. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:44]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> thank you so much for carving out time during your big trip. Definitely very much appreciated. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> we love you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I can't wait to hear about the dinner, so we'll talk </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> soon.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry, Ray, could you repeat that?. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> Which dinner. There's so many that talk about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> every morsel all day, every day. We're all about food here. Like I want to know everything. I get so excited by food. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> Yes. It's a barbecue place. Not too far from </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> us. That we're really shocked with that. We're going to go to tonight. We're going to walk around the corner and check it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like they have barbecue in France. Okay. Check it out. We've </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> been learning. If there's a line, the food is good though. It's like, well, I don't want to wait in line. I don't want to be in a crowded </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">restaurant, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> but if it's not, you might be disappointed. So</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> would </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you mind looking for a line that goes to a vegan place and telling us about that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> Yeah. There are tons of vegan places. Paris,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> goodness. It's like, it's got to be about five or six on every corner. It's amazing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> Yeah, it'd be every day we go out. In fact, we saw one </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> today. Yep. When, when, when you and Matt come back, you are not going to be disappointed every, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Ray:</strong></span> and then there's a slowly place I want to go to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> tomorrow. I want to hear all about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Love you. You're running late. You better go. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you so much. Love you so much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Okay. Love you too. Bye bye now.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[We're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go.
The BEAUTIFUL Vanessa Brantley-Newton is back, this time with her BRILLIANT husband Ray! They join us from their vacation in Paris, France, and share their adventures, experiences, wisdom, and advice for life, travel, food, love, art, and how to respectfully and lovingly travel the earth.
We love connecting with Vanessa and Ray. Join us as we discuss ways our fabulousness translates wherever we go. The world is a small town and it is so good to connect!
How is it that even though we may not speak the same language, we can completely understand each other?
Is it possible that we all have encoded something in our hearts that can translate for us and enable us to communicate, transcending words? Are there codes that we can access through sacred geometry in our bodies that when we assume a specific posture, can change the way we communicate and the way others are able to understand our inner nature?
 Vanessa Brantley-Newton on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/?hl=en
https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/
 Vanessa's Ted Talk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c
Magasin Sennelier, the art store,the Louvre;store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street,
Maison Bossier https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/ the Les Frenchies https://lesfrenchiestravel.com/the power pose
 
TRANSCRIPT – The French Connection With Vanessa and Ray
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, welcome to our friendly world, everyone. Okay, look, look, look, look, look okay if you can't, if you can't see me. Listen, listen, listen, listen to this. And if you can't, if you can't understand the words that I'm saying, like you speak another language.
 If you can't speak the same language, I want you to feel me out. Just feel me out. I have a message for you. Most of you listening know where the message came from. Where was I when I got the message? Nevermind. Don't say it, but you all know the one room where I receive messages, my guidance of what I'm supposed to do comes and it came today.
And I'm so happy to share today with you because we have two beautiful guests. I'm so excited. I've been giggly since we found out yesterday. So the message is, this is what I heard today, that, and this...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:10:32</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Gossipy Friend, how Twitter has destroyed our bond with one button; why friendship is so important and can save our society, especially right at this moment in time.]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-gossipy-friend-how-twitter-has-destroyed-our-bond-with-one-button-why-friendship-is-so-important-and-can-save-our-society-especially-right-at-this-moment-in-time-1</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-gossipy-friend-how-twitter-has-destroyed-our-bond-with-one-button-why-friendship-is-so-important-and-can-save-our-society-especially-right-at-this-moment-in-time-1</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Sharing stories is the key to bonding. We explain the difference between sharing and telling a story. Then we get to the bad sharing which is another kind of storytelling/sharing (gossip) that destroys our bond, and we use Twitter as an example of how our society has lost the ability to connect. In this episode, we have a solution to bring us back together again.  There is a way out of this. There is a way to have a better life, to have a beautiful society. And it's not as hard as you think. You don't have to figure out how to move mountains. You just have to sit in simplicity</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#Twitter, #gossip, #bonding, #connection, #storytelling, #misinformation, #crazy, #stupid, #the art of friendship, #land of Shinar, #The story of Babel, #Tower of Babel, #fragmentation, #confirmation bias, </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p>The Gossipy Friend<br />[00:00:00] Fawn: Yay for us. Hi everybody. Yay for us, meaning all of us together listening right now. Hi everyone. Guess what? I was partaking in a very boring conversation yesterday <br />[00:00:15] Matt: was <br />[00:00:15] Fawn: that with me? You were there, but you were not the reason for the boredom, but you were. I think we were all contributing to the boredom because neither side wanted to talk about anything.<br />Because one side lives and believes radically different than ours. All this <br />[00:00:32] Matt: would be yes, yes. The call <br />[00:00:34] Fawn: with family<br />[00:00:35] Matt: family. <br />[00:00:36] Fawn: So as the conversation was being had on speakerphone and the whole family's at the table, I must admit that I was zoning out ( Matt exclaims sarcastically) and we are surrounded by boxes in our kitchen, at the moment, there was one box that was in front of me and it had in big, big letters "BELONG", like belong B E L O N G. And I started to play like, oh, what other words can I make out of belong? And so I realized with belong, you can create "ONE GLOBE". We all belong to one globe. So I was tripping out on that, the whole conversation; one global. Am I the only one tripping out on that?<br />Isn't that great?!?!<br /> Anyway, <br />[00:01:20] Matt: you know, actually, nevermind. <br />[00:01:21] Fawn: No, go ahead. <br />[00:01:22] Matt: Well, I wrote a computer program because that's what I do. And I programmed peoples, I programmed all of the house names of the house into it. And as it turns out, if I scramble up the letters in ALLEGRA, it actually spells like a genus of birds or something random.<br />I mean, it's weird. Yeah, nobody else's full names came out to <br />anything, but,<br />[00:01:43] Fawn: but collectively our names come to "FAME". <br />[00:01:46] Matt: Well, that's the first letter of each <br />[00:01:48] Fawn: that's as complex as I can get.<br />[00:01:50] Matt: I understand. <br />Oh my God. I should get all the letters together. Scramble them up. <br />[00:01:56] Fawn: Okay. Stop. So we digress. We have digressed even before we have started, we have a really good show today.<br />Oh, well, you know, show we have a really important topic we want to talk about. We're really eager to get into. So I'm going to start. And then Matt, you come in. Okay. Matt is covering his mouth cause I told them don't you interrupt me? Let me, let me get my thoughts out first because I am the Chewbacca. I can't play games with people. If you interrupt me, or if you disagree with me or if you win, I get really mad, I, I can't function after that in a normal way.<br />Matt is looking away. All right. So here we go. Initially, we were going to talk about the, what did we call it initially? The title we were going to use<br />[00:02:47] Matt: "The Disagreeable Friend" , <br />[00:02:48] Fawn: "The Disagreeable Friend" , and as we were delving into it, I realized, oh my goodness, this goes back to what we learned some years ago that, people get labeled as crazy or stupid.<br />Right? When you are no longer able to understand someone's...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Sharing stories is the key to bonding. We explain the difference between sharing and telling a story. Then we get to the bad sharing which is another kind of storytelling/sharing (gossip) that destroys our bond, and we use Twitter as an example of how our society has lost the ability to connect. In this episode, we have a solution to bring us back together again.  There is a way out of this. There is a way to have a better life, to have a beautiful society. And it's not as hard as you think. You don't have to figure out how to move mountains. You just have to sit in simplicity
 
#Twitter, #gossip, #bonding, #connection, #storytelling, #misinformation, #crazy, #stupid, #the art of friendship, #land of Shinar, #The story of Babel, #Tower of Babel, #fragmentation, #confirmation bias, 
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
The Gossipy Friend[00:00:00] Fawn: Yay for us. Hi everybody. Yay for us, meaning all of us together listening right now. Hi everyone. Guess what? I was partaking in a very boring conversation yesterday [00:00:15] Matt: was [00:00:15] Fawn: that with me? You were there, but you were not the reason for the boredom, but you were. I think we were all contributing to the boredom because neither side wanted to talk about anything.Because one side lives and believes radically different than ours. All this [00:00:32] Matt: would be yes, yes. The call [00:00:34] Fawn: with family[00:00:35] Matt: family. [00:00:36] Fawn: So as the conversation was being had on speakerphone and the whole family's at the table, I must admit that I was zoning out ( Matt exclaims sarcastically) and we are surrounded by boxes in our kitchen, at the moment, there was one box that was in front of me and it had in big, big letters "BELONG", like belong B E L O N G. And I started to play like, oh, what other words can I make out of belong? And so I realized with belong, you can create "ONE GLOBE". We all belong to one globe. So I was tripping out on that, the whole conversation; one global. Am I the only one tripping out on that?Isn't that great?!?! Anyway, [00:01:20] Matt: you know, actually, nevermind. [00:01:21] Fawn: No, go ahead. [00:01:22] Matt: Well, I wrote a computer program because that's what I do. And I programmed peoples, I programmed all of the house names of the house into it. And as it turns out, if I scramble up the letters in ALLEGRA, it actually spells like a genus of birds or something random.I mean, it's weird. Yeah, nobody else's full names came out to anything, but,[00:01:43] Fawn: but collectively our names come to "FAME". [00:01:46] Matt: Well, that's the first letter of each [00:01:48] Fawn: that's as complex as I can get.[00:01:50] Matt: I understand. Oh my God. I should get all the letters together. Scramble them up. [00:01:56] Fawn: Okay. Stop. So we digress. We have digressed even before we have started, we have a really good show today.Oh, well, you know, show we have a really important topic we want to talk about. We're really eager to get into. So I'm going to start. And then Matt, you come in. Okay. Matt is covering his mouth cause I told them don't you interrupt me? Let me, let me get my thoughts out first because I am the Chewbacca. I can't play games with people. If you interrupt me, or if you disagree with me or if you win, I get really mad, I, I can't function after that in a normal way.Matt is looking away. All right. So here we go. Initially, we were going to talk about the, what did we call it initially? The title we were going to use[00:02:47] Matt: "The Disagreeable Friend" , [00:02:48] Fawn: "The Disagreeable Friend" , and as we were delving into it, I realized, oh my goodness, this goes back to what we learned some years ago that, people get labeled as crazy or stupid.Right? When you are no longer able to understand someone's...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Gossipy Friend, how Twitter has destroyed our bond with one button; why friendship is so important and can save our society, especially right at this moment in time.]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Sharing stories is the key to bonding. We explain the difference between sharing and telling a story. Then we get to the bad sharing which is another kind of storytelling/sharing (gossip) that destroys our bond, and we use Twitter as an example of how our society has lost the ability to connect. In this episode, we have a solution to bring us back together again.  There is a way out of this. There is a way to have a better life, to have a beautiful society. And it's not as hard as you think. You don't have to figure out how to move mountains. You just have to sit in simplicity</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#Twitter, #gossip, #bonding, #connection, #storytelling, #misinformation, #crazy, #stupid, #the art of friendship, #land of Shinar, #The story of Babel, #Tower of Babel, #fragmentation, #confirmation bias, </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p>The Gossipy Friend<br />[00:00:00] Fawn: Yay for us. Hi everybody. Yay for us, meaning all of us together listening right now. Hi everyone. Guess what? I was partaking in a very boring conversation yesterday <br />[00:00:15] Matt: was <br />[00:00:15] Fawn: that with me? You were there, but you were not the reason for the boredom, but you were. I think we were all contributing to the boredom because neither side wanted to talk about anything.<br />Because one side lives and believes radically different than ours. All this <br />[00:00:32] Matt: would be yes, yes. The call <br />[00:00:34] Fawn: with family<br />[00:00:35] Matt: family. <br />[00:00:36] Fawn: So as the conversation was being had on speakerphone and the whole family's at the table, I must admit that I was zoning out ( Matt exclaims sarcastically) and we are surrounded by boxes in our kitchen, at the moment, there was one box that was in front of me and it had in big, big letters "BELONG", like belong B E L O N G. And I started to play like, oh, what other words can I make out of belong? And so I realized with belong, you can create "ONE GLOBE". We all belong to one globe. So I was tripping out on that, the whole conversation; one global. Am I the only one tripping out on that?<br />Isn't that great?!?!<br /> Anyway, <br />[00:01:20] Matt: you know, actually, nevermind. <br />[00:01:21] Fawn: No, go ahead. <br />[00:01:22] Matt: Well, I wrote a computer program because that's what I do. And I programmed peoples, I programmed all of the house names of the house into it. And as it turns out, if I scramble up the letters in ALLEGRA, it actually spells like a genus of birds or something random.<br />I mean, it's weird. Yeah, nobody else's full names came out to <br />anything, but,<br />[00:01:43] Fawn: but collectively our names come to "FAME". <br />[00:01:46] Matt: Well, that's the first letter of each <br />[00:01:48] Fawn: that's as complex as I can get.<br />[00:01:50] Matt: I understand. <br />Oh my God. I should get all the letters together. Scramble them up. <br />[00:01:56] Fawn: Okay. Stop. So we digress. We have digressed even before we have started, we have a really good show today.<br />Oh, well, you know, show we have a really important topic we want to talk about. We're really eager to get into. So I'm going to start. And then Matt, you come in. Okay. Matt is covering his mouth cause I told them don't you interrupt me? Let me, let me get my thoughts out first because I am the Chewbacca. I can't play games with people. If you interrupt me, or if you disagree with me or if you win, I get really mad, I, I can't function after that in a normal way.<br />Matt is looking away. All right. So here we go. Initially, we were going to talk about the, what did we call it initially? The title we were going to use<br />[00:02:47] Matt: "The Disagreeable Friend" , <br />[00:02:48] Fawn: "The Disagreeable Friend" , and as we were delving into it, I realized, oh my goodness, this goes back to what we learned some years ago that, people get labeled as crazy or stupid.<br />Right? When you are no longer able to understand someone's viewpoint, those two words destroy everything. And it gives you free reign to say, I'm not going to listen to you because you're crazy or you're stupid. As we were delving into this and doing a lot of thinking about it, I realized we should really be calling it "The Gossipy Friend".<br />So here we go guys. Here is my, my take on it. And then you tell me what you think.<br />"The Gossipy Friend," and the gossipy friend I'm going to label really, I'm talking about social media, the gossipy friend, and how it has destroyed our bond.<br />Why friendship is so important and can save our society, especially right at this moment in time.<br />There's a story that most people know. It comes after Noah building the Ark, when they landed on land, they formed a city.<br />And the story of a city where everyone's spoke the same language and they were able to create everything; that nothing was impossible for them. That was their society. But eventually the city was destroyed because the society reached a point that even though the people all spoke the same language.<br />People were not able to communicate or understand each other, even speaking the same language, having the same experiences, something happened to break all that apart. Usually there are three ingredients, I think. There are three ingredients that hold a bond for us as a family, as a collective. I'm talking about friendships.<br />Friendship to me is key for family, for everything. The core of every institution for me and why I'm doing what I'm doing with this podcast, with everything I'm talking about over the years, the core of everything from my point of view is friendship. You can't have family without friendship. You can't have a marriage without friendship. You can't have society without friendship. You get what I'm saying?<br /> These are the three components that exist to hold this together, to hold this bond together. One is experience. For example, being in a field with a certain expertise. That everyone trusts like a teacher or a doctor; someone who's studied something and you have faith and trust in this person to do their job or to lead.<br /> Number two is like an elder, an elder doesn't have to be someone old. It means someone wise that can lead a community that can bring people together. That's number two. Number three of the bond that I'm talking about that needs to happen, the third component would be shared stories.<br />The only way we can really relate to one another is to share a story. If you tell a story it's like quite superficial . But if you share a story, you get all your senses in there and you can understand the person's point of view, or I can get you to understand my point of view because, in describing something to you, I bring you right there with me and you can understand where I'm coming from or where I came from.<br />And you have empathy and you have an understanding.<br />So in sharing my story, I would use all my senses to tell you about my experience. For example, I'm trying to think of an example of a story right now. All right. Um, a couple of days ago, I was so here's my story from a couple of days ago, I was summoned for jury duty. Matt is shaking his head. Um, I went and on the jury notice, it says jury duty is , one day, maybe three days. We get there.<br />And in this room there's like almost a hundred people in there, all jurors. And I'm getting nervous because one it's been a while since I've been in a room with that many people like close, except for the airport and the airplane. And two. I'm very fearful of the law. Like institutions like that, like hospitals, government buildings, I always feel nervous, uncomfortable. Because I'm an empath, I can pick things up that most people can just shrug off. I can't shrug it off. I pick up on people's emotions. I go to the grocery store, I'm touching something that someone else has touched and I feel that person, it sounds absurd, but that's how, that's how I am.<br /> Friends who become friends with me at first, think it's funny or I'm making it up. Until they see firsthand. No, I can't look at this movie because I, I, I'm not able to live normally after seeing an image that may last only a few seconds. I can't look at violence. It's not entertainment for me. It's scary to me. It is heartbreaking. And I'm not using those words lightly. It's heartbreaking to see someone else get hurt. It's not entertainment and I don't need to go there. I already feel the injustices of the world. I feel all of that. So it's not necessary. I digressed. So here I am. I'm hoping that I won't be called and then they give us more information.<br />It turns out that what we're going to be part of, is a murder trial. I'm like, oh my God. Out of all people to get picked, I am the worst person. I can not be non-judgemental I cannot be non-emotional. I cannot be logical. I'm purely emotion. That's how I am very, very emotional. Anyway, I'm like, well, maybe they won't pick me out of a hundred people, they wanted 38 and then from 38, they were going to go to 14. Well guess who was front and center sitting two and a half feet away from prosecution and what do you call the other side? The defendants prosecutor. Oh my God. And then the judge, and I don't know what my demeanor was, but guys I was sitting, I was in the front row.<br />And when you come, in at the, the, the way I was noticing the way the prosecution and the defendants, even, I think the judge that didn't, wasn't really looking at her at that point, but I felt like we were being scanned in a mystical way. Like scanned, like the people, the lawyers, every single person coming in, they were doing it so fast and so methodically, so robotic in a way that it scared the hell out of me, that I was like, what are they picking up on every person and how are they able to do it so fast? They're makinging judgments right there on who they want and what your demeanor is and who you are. Like, God knows what they've been trained to pick up, but it made me really scared that whatever it is about me is being judged right now.<br />And so, and then they're asking me not to judge. I was sitting there in the front row. I had my bag with me that had , hand sanitizer, um, my phone that was turned off, I had some paper and a pen, you know, like normal stuff you would have in your bag. I was holding onto this and I looked down and you could see my white knuckles.<br />I was clasping my hands together, trying to not cry because I was so scared, but I also, I was feeling in my heart, I was trying to figure out what happened. Someone was murdered. Oh my God. I, I, um, I was distraught immediately. And so then they tell you you're not allowed to speak of this to anyone. You're not allowed to read the paper.<br />You're not allowed to go on the internet. You're not allowed to watch the news. You're not allowed to speak to anyone in your life about what's happening here. I'm like, oh my God, I can't. I am going to explode. Like I, I'm just gonna, I, I, I can't deal with this. I cannot handle with the amount of stress I've lived in my life. Um, I'm not a normal person that can cu .<br />What's the word, Matt? I can't<br />[00:11:26] Matt: compartmentalize <br />[00:11:27] Fawn: compartmentalize, things like that. I'm an emotional person. <br />[00:11:33] Matt: Right. <br />[00:11:34] Fawn: Um, anyway, needless to say, I started to have a panic attack and. And, um, I w I, I raised my hand and I went up to the judge and they saw my demeanor that they shouldn't be working with me<br />[00:11:52] Matt: to say the least.<br />[00:11:53] Fawn: I mean, I'm laughing because out of, um, nervousness, because I mean, I felt so many things. I felt sad and I felt scared because I, I can't do this. I can't judge someone else's life and condemn them or not condemn them. I don't think that I can be... Um, like I said, I, I can't, I cannot, we put my emotions to the side to make a decision.<br /> Anyway, um, they excused me. And when they said, I don't know if they said you are excused, I didn't hear it. So I kept sitting there. I went back to my seat facing the prosecution. And then, then someone took my seat and I still didn't get it. So I ended up moving to the side of the courtroom and then the judge was like, she called out my name and that terrified me.<br />I'm like you told everybody my name and she's like, get out,<br />I'm sweating and I'm telling you this, but you see, I just shared a story with you. , but I'm sure Matt, where you able to be in the courtroom with me?<br />[00:12:58] Matt: Yes. <br />[00:12:58] Fawn: So that's sharing a story. It's vulnerable. I don't like to tell people that I'm this emotional. I don't like to share my vulnerability like that, but I'm doing it.<br />I'm, I'm stepping over my zone of comfort to tell you this story, to share something with you, so you understand. That's what sharing a story means. And I think that's one of the most important things in friendship. And, to me, friendship means a bond. It is family, it is society and that's what's most important.<br />And I think that's why this podcast is so important, because when people, hear that, we talk about the art of friendship. They're like, oh yeah, it's some fluffy show where we preach to you, how to make friends. No, it's about sharing stories of life and that's how we bond. And that is the art of friendship.<br />So back to the gossipy friend. So those are the three components; experience, leadership and sharing. Social media and the retweet button comes in because we were reading this article and it was talking about that. It was talking about how social media has made people stupid and it and used the word stupid.<br />I'm like, okay. Article. I understand what you're saying, but it was so depressing reading this. was it not, Matt? It was scary and depressing. <br />[00:14:30] Matt: Absolutely <br />[00:14:31] Fawn: much like "The Social Dilemma" it's like, yeah. Thank you for telling us the truth that we already knew, but you kind of left us hanging you, you created this and then you're just going to say, I don't know.<br />[00:14:43] Matt: This is what's happening, guys. Okay. Let's <br />move on. <br />[00:14:45] Fawn: That's not helpful. Okay. Show me the story, but bring it back up with a solution or a thought of a solution. You know what I'm saying? So we were reading this article and, and I, and we totally agree because years ago when we started this friendship movement, we said, look, guys, you have to get off the computer.<br />So that's why we started the, the matchmaking service for platonic friends. We said just because you have likes and follows. You would think you have friends, that's not it guys, you're being lulled into this lie that you have community, you know? Sure. You could have a business and you have all these friends following you, providing you with something, but that's not true friendship right there. And so we were like, Hey, come on. Let's figure out. Remember the art of friendship and remember the art of meeting one another and the art of the beauty of recognizing one another. In-person. And maintaining that bond in life, right?<br />Arm in arm, eating together and making jokes together, walking together, looking at the sunrise or the sunset together, sharing a drink. Come on. That's what we're talking about. We want to get there. Right? We want to get back to that. The feeling of safety, you know, like the world is a safe place, <br />[00:16:09] Matt: right.<br />Exactly. <br />[00:16:10] Fawn: Getting back to this social media and the retweet button, and also the like, and the share button as I was looking at this, I realized, wow, words are spread. The words that are spread, will eventually end up completely changed. And so leading to logic versus emotion where emotion always trumps logic, which is what Matt says.<br />[00:16:36] Matt: We say that all the time,<br />[00:16:38] Fawn: you taught me that. Emotion trumps logic and creates a whole new world of anger because anger is destructive and anger is what feeds this beast. Very rarely do people gossip about high, energetic, loving, positive things. The truth is that the negative scary stuff is the stuff that sells in a society that is so controlled by fear.<br />You better buy this. If you don't buy this, your life will be horrible <br />[00:17:11] Matt: or your children's lives will be horrible. <br />[00:17:13] Fawn: Right? If you look at commercials, almost all of them have a fear component in there. So you're pulled you're propelled into rushing to get this thing because you're scared.<br />Right? And it's a lie. It's a way to feed whatever this is, that's not working in our society and I'm not saying you shouldn't go out and buy stuff. Oh my gosh. I want to buy all kinds of shiny stuff and make things even more beautiful. But when you're controlled by fear, that's not okay.<br />And eventually whatever you boughtout of that fear, you always have that target on it that reminds you of fear, fear of fear. And eventually you're going to want to get rid of that. And where does it end up? In the landfill? Going back to what gives you joy, you will eventually you will snap out of that trance that you were put into buying this thing.<br />And you're like, I don't want this. It doesn't bring me joy. And it's just such a waste.<br /> When you have enough gossip, eventually all trust is lost, completely lost. And that's the problem today. We don't trust anything. <br /> I want to show you how friendship is really the key, and we don't need anything, but that one friendship, it doesn't matter if it's democratic autocracy.<br /> So there comes a point like now where we realize that all along, all the stories we have been told are ridiculous, from doctors, you know, we go to the doctor and now we don't trust the doctor because the doctor, we realized things have changed so much that they don't even know .How many times Matt have we gone to the doctor and we say, we've discovered this.<br />And they're like, I don't know anything about that. <br />[00:19:05] Matt: Well, there's so much, <br />[00:19:07] Fawn: but we can't trust them anymore. And they're so wanting to be right. That they want to stick to what they know and say, this is the right way. But we know that there are other ways. I go to the acupuncturist because I appreciate the 3000, 5000 years of experience. And yet the modern medicine, beautiful medicine technology medicine that we have now, which is wonderful.<br />Doesn't know a lot. So I've lost my trust <br />[00:19:37] Matt: Knows different things. Let's be careful. <br />[00:19:41] Fawn: So from doctors to teachers. We don't trust the school system. We homeschool, we have we're original homeschoolers because we've seen, you know, we both come from families where there are teachers, and we've seen firsthand how ridiculous the school system is.<br />So we're like, no, don't trust you. And then you have the government as well. And we all have been experiencing that. So I'm not going to get too much into that. So we have to turn to ourselves. Which gets us into this lonely place that we're in right now, starting all over to find friends, family that we can build life with.<br />It's not easily done. It's like dating all over again. Remember we said that years ago we were trying to find good friends and we're like, oh my, I was like, oh my God, Matt. He's like dating all over again to find you, but we're just trying to find friends to have dinner with, to share a conversation with, and we would meet people and we'd say, yay, we found the one.<br />And then we're like, oh no, <br />[00:20:44] Matt: I've never said we found the one it's because people we can <br />get along with.<br />[00:20:48] Fawn: I was thinking, we found the ones. Yay. And then total sheer disappointment in the middle of the date, thinking, how are we going to get out of this? And I'm sure they were thinking the same about us. It just, it was dating all over again.<br />And finding most people that are embedded with major issues and don't have the capacity for friendship. So you find people you're trying to date, you're trying to make friends, but most people don't seem like they're in the right head space or they don't have the capacity to be searching for friends because they're dealing with fires in their lives.<br />Emotional fires, physical fires. There's a lot happening for everyone. And no one has the luxury of saying, ah, I would like to go to brunch today. Or go shopping for a pretty dress today, or guys, what would you say <br />[00:21:40] Matt: go shopping <br />for a pretty dress of course, no. Um, there aren't days that those occur though.<br />[00:21:46] Fawn: Yes. I'm not, I'm not trying to be like, this is all of life, but just bear with me. Okay. Just bear with me. We can share our stories. No, we can't. I don't think so. We can't share our stories and create a bond because communication is so twisted right now, communication has been completely destroyed much like going back to that story of Babel.<br />[00:22:12] Matt: Yes. It's the tower <br />of Babel. <br />[00:22:14] Fawn: Okay. Take a look at our society, like, think about all the movement. We move around nomadically looking for the right community, the right place to live with the right job. Everyone's always moving. Even if you live in one place, think about it. How easy is it to just get on a plane and end up a few hours later on the other side of the globe, it's constant movement.<br />And then when that happens, I feel like we become homesick in this new environment, missing the connections we had with others, looking for anything that resembles a home that we once knew, which leads to this term, confirmation bias, which is the tendency to find any minuscule amount of evidence that could resemble what we remember, what gives us comfort ,that resembles what we want to believe. You can think of this with like normal politics, but you can think of, think of it as dating, or making a new friend. You see someone and you're so desperate to connect. You know, first glance, this person is bad to the bone, right?<br />Let's think about the dates. I'll speak for myself. I would see a guy I'm like, oh no, this guy, you, you gave me the term freight train. This guy is a freight train, but because I'm so wanting connection, I'll find any minuscule little head of a pin evidence to say, this guy is my man and I will hold on to that.<br />[00:23:58] Matt: That's a little scary,<br />[00:23:59] Fawn: but that's how we are now. I'll speak for other, my friends who also, when we were dating, same thing. Think about it when you meet someone, you know, it's not the right fit, but you, you just want to connect so, so badly that you'll find anything, anything to latch onto, and then you create their whole vibe it becomes that for you until a few months later, it comes crashing down because that's not who they were. There's another way to describe it where you think, this person's always late . And then you think of yourself and you think, well, I'm always late because I have a very important excuse.<br />So I'm not a late person. I'm late because this happened to me. Whereas you're just as guilty as being late. It's kind of, isn't it kind of like confirmation bias, the same example where you can twist it around to make it more comfortable for yourself. And make yourself like the good guy. Well, yeah, <br />[00:25:01] Matt: you can resort facts to suit any viewpoint.<br />And <br />[00:25:05] Fawn: you can, it's kind of like saying like, like I've told you I've come across people who make a racist judgment about someone and I'll say, wow, that's my background. And they'll say to me, oh, you're not one of them. What, you're not one of that.<br />You're one of us, I'm sure you guys get the point. I think that the best way out of this trap is to go against the feeling of comfort and seek out people with opposing views and ideas.<br />And I think this is what we need to do especially in the United States,<br />it's the dating metaphor again, to date the person you normally wouldn't date to find true love. How many times did I date the same guy over and over again, hoping for different results. And then I met you and you were so different than everybody else that I was not into it at first. I was scared. I was like, no, I can't date this guy. Thank goodness. Thank goodness that I felt the love. And I realized, oh my goodness, this is, this is it.<br />Because let's face it. If your track record for dating has results that are not good. How's that working out for you? So same with our society right now, we can find the people that we think, think just like us or against the same people that were against that they're outraged by the same things we are outraged by it's that whole gossipy thing that has taken over.<br />We're losing track of our connections because we're so angry and so heated by this gossip thing that has spread that we're not able to communicate anymore.<br /> Let's go back and visit the word crazy and the word stupid. These labels, these words will shut it all down. In the United States, when we went to Iraq, we were fighting the "terrorists". I'm using air quotes. The reason. It felt like , the rhetoric that I was hearing, the words that I was hearing in the media, I was constantly hearing crazy, <br />[00:27:30] Matt: right.<br />[00:27:31] Fawn: The word crazy. And especially, dealing with certain family members that are so opposite politically than us. Their justification for harming this other group was they're crazy. They're crazy. They need to be taken out. They're crazy. We tend to label human beings as crazy when things get uncomfortable, when we don't want to be in their shoes when we don't want to hear their stories.<br />So we label them as crazy. It's like looking at a baby who is crying for something and we're like, well, that baby is crazy. What no. That baby is needing something, is trying to communicate to you. And the longer that you ignore this baby, the louder, the screams will get. Well, that's humanity. You can't label them as crazy.<br />You have to understand why they're doing things that they're doing. They are human beings. And I'm not trying to say that I'm justifying horrible things like killing each other. I'm not doing that. Please understand. What I'm trying to say is it's a desperate reaction. It is a desperate end to something that has gone for many years, many decades, many centuries that have gone unheard, they've gone ignored.<br />the only way out, in my opinion, the only way out of this mess, is to listen and to understand. We need to relate to the point of view of an opposition. You know, the crazy and the stupid, they must be stupid. Don't get how stupid they are. No, believe me, there are many people out there. I've looking at the TV, shaking my head, saying the same thing.<br />Like these people are ignorant. At the same time. I do realize there's a road that led them to this behavior, to these words that they're using. And I need to understand that<br />because through this chain of gossip, it is their frustrations,<br />all of our frustrations that has led to all the fights and the fragmented society that we have right now. I don't think changing politics is going to help. I do not think that getting rid of social media will help. I think what helps is<br />realizing how to tell a story and realizing how to listen to someone's story and get back to that connection. I think that is key. And that's why we're doing what we're doing. That is why I am here with you every week, trying to get back the art of friendship.<br />[00:30:16] Matt: Wow. That was a lot of stuff. I had to be quiet for a really long <br />time.<br />[00:30:20] Fawn: It wasn't a lot of stuff. 37 minutes worth it's because I maybe pontificated on extra things to make my point clear, but it's really not <br />[00:30:29] Matt: about no, and I, I get it. I get it. It's just, there's so much to circle back to unfortunately, or unfortunately, see, I would say.<br />Moving away from friendship for just a second, moving towards society, societies, typically successful society, you know, going all the way back to Babel, which actually was a real thing and a real tower and a real everything. And the story and the Bible does have historical facts behind it. There is a city I want to say it's Babylon, <br />[00:30:58] Fawn: but I'm not sure.<br />No, it was like, it starts with an S H S H I N a R. Shinar. <br />[00:31:04] Matt: Anyways. I remember looking at this city, actually in a God, one of the millions of books in my parents' house, anyways, there was a tower and the legend says that they were building a tower that was going to reach heaven and God was like, no, we're not going to have <br />this.<br />[00:31:22] Fawn: Yeah. I think that's man's perspective saying, God will say that God wouldn't say that, but I think they were trying to, they were achieving perfection. And that might be we're achieving a utopia that <br />[00:31:33] Matt: might be don't know, but so God took and scattered them to all corners of the globe and gave them 75 kajillion languages Merry Christmas.<br />[00:31:43] Fawn: Is that what the Bible said? <br />[00:31:44] Matt: Yeah. <br />[00:31:46] Fawn: So the way I understood it was, they all had the same language, but they were splintered it all. So, yeah, I think it's man, that, that says God's splintered at all. I think the people splintered it all, <br />[00:31:59] Matt: well, again, sometimes the Bible, you know, if you choose to read it, not as absolute fact, you view it as this is stuff that happened, but maybe not in this way, <br />[00:32:12] Fawn: we are God's<br />[00:32:14] Matt: again.<br />Who knows. Um, but anyways, what we're looking at is, societies typically have, God, what is it? And it's hectic to say, but they typically have shared blood. They've spilled blood for the same things. They have shared gods, which is very tricky in today's society. And they have shared enemies.<br />[00:32:36] Fawn: Right. And it's that shared enemy that unites them. <br />[00:32:39] Matt: Exactly. But if, if you take a look historically way back when I'm part Scandinavian, part German, that gives me the Viking heritage. But, you know, at one of the shared stories that the Vikings had, they had a lot of them was about their God of war and justice and the God of war and justice, Norse gods are messed up.<br />But anyways, he didn't have an arm. Well, what happened? Well, he put his arm into the mouth of a Wolf because they want her to put a leash on him. And that was the only way that he could get them to trust him. And so he bit, and he lied to him and he bit off his arms, but in the process, <br />[00:33:13] Fawn: yes.<br />Could the mouth of the Wolf be gossip, <br />[00:33:16] Matt: anything could be anything. Right. But what's key here is that if you were raised on this story, on this folklore, Then you knew that you need to sacrifice whatever it took for the good of your tribe. And as a shared story, as a shared ideal, as a shared everything, all of a sudden your society started banding around this stuff.<br />And what we see now is we're unwilling. Everybody has their own point of view, which is great and is proper and is a million other things, but sometimes. Somebody jumps into an argument in the middle of all their assumptions. Can <br />[00:33:55] Fawn: I interrupt for a second? I understand that you saw, you brought up the word sacrifice.<br />That's true because<br />Norse <br />[00:34:02] Matt: we're big on sacrifice. <br />[00:34:04] Fawn: Well, yeah, I mean to achieve, a bond, like to keep that bond stable, you have to sacrifice, but when you reach a point where you're so stretched thin, you have nothing to sacrifice anymore. And I think that's the problem because we don't have that capacity anymore. <br />[00:34:23] Matt: Right. I get it.<br />I totally get it. We need to, <br />[00:34:27] Fawn: we need to recharge. <br />[00:34:28] Matt: Yes, exactly. I was about to say, we need to figure out how we can enter into a world of compromise into a world of trying to understand. <br />[00:34:37] Fawn: So listen, this is what I'm saying when you are heard. Have you ever been so distraught and so angry or distraught?<br />Let's just say so emotional. And then someone shows you kindness in a split second you're recharged. <br />[00:34:54] Matt: Yeah, absolutely. I've I've had one or three of those moments and they came at very pivotal times for me. That was very good for me. Absolutely. I've been there.<br />[00:35:02] Fawn: So <br />you see there's hope <br />[00:35:04] Matt: absolutely. <br />[00:35:05] Fawn: In a split second, guys.<br />Things can change for the best, but I'm sorry. I interrupted you. Figure out we're talking about sacrificing. I <br />[00:35:14] Matt: was, but I was talking about how societies coalesce around certain ideals and certain things. And that happens both on the societal level and on the one-to-one level where people actually communicate with each other, they share their hopes, their fears, their dreams.<br />And even if the other person doesn't share it, they at least listen and they try and understand and understanding comes over time and comes perhaps even over repetition. That's part of friendship and that's why it's important. And I've always had friends who were different than me.<br />Um, and I dunno if that's just because I'm so flipping different, it's hard to find someone who is like me or, or what that story really looks like or I'm, or I gravitate towards people who are different than me, but I really like having my challenges, having my beliefs challenged, my challenges believed no, my beliefs <br />challenged.<br />[00:36:04] Fawn: Yeah. Your challenges believed right. <br />[00:36:07] Matt: Well, that's true <br />sometimes, but, um, yeah, it's just, I think<br />it's like it's funny after speaking with the fam whose beliefs are very different, it made me focus back in, on of all people, Walter Cronkite. We don't have a Walter Cronkite. <br />[00:36:27] Fawn: Well, I mean, <br />[00:36:28] Matt: he kind of this and he was, he was a newscaster and he was like the newscaster, he was CBS newscaster. And when he said that the war in Vietnam was not winnable.<br />Boom, all of a sudden it was about how the heck do we get out of Vietnam? It wasn't about more investment or any of the rest of it. It was how the act, how the H do we get out?. <br />[00:36:50] Fawn: Well, here's a person that was respected. He had authority. He was an elder in the community. But now, because no one is heard everyone is speaking and it's not the logical speaking.<br />It's purely emotional. And you have so many, so many, ah, so many tweets and I'm going to use the word tweet, but I'm, I'm talking about there's so many versions of something and we're purposely being flooded with gossip that is not true at all so that we can't communicate anymore so that we can't bond anymore, that we can't understand or hear each other anymore because there's too much.<br />And most of it is just garbage. <br />[00:37:40] Matt: And there is a lot of it. Do you know? I found out he was like the first newscaster, who actually got a whole half an hour to talk about the news on TV. Cause before that it was only 15 minutes. That's on the news. In the course of <br />[00:37:56] Fawn: a broadcast 15 minutes a day, every day.<br />Well, <br />[00:38:00] Matt: I'm sure there was probably some something in the Mo um, I think there was something in the morning and then something in the evening. <br />[00:38:05] Fawn: Sure. There was local news and the <br />weather,<br />[00:38:07] Matt: but you also got your news from the newspaper and you know, you got it from a authoritative <br />sources <br />[00:38:15] Fawn: and now it's 24 hours a day, but <br />[00:38:17] Matt: it's also it's it's information from random.<br />non- accredited sources. So it's a tricky thingto distil truth <br />[00:38:26] Fawn: it's basically, gossip, it's taking a heated, heated idea and yelling about it and creating a mob mentality around it because you keep spreading it, retweeting it, sharing it over and over and over again. And even if it's written down word for word in a tweet, the symbolism, the vibe of it, the emotion of it<br />will completely change the meaning or the meaning maybe originally was intended for not so good purposes, but it will spread like lighting a match to a very dry field of tumbleweed. <br />[00:39:03] Matt: Right? Absolutely because you know, let's not forget that Twitter, Facebook. All these kinds of technological organizations that they're there to make money.<br />They're not there to share truth. They're not there to build community. They're there to make money. And so they're going to go down whatever path moral or immoral that will generate the most revenue. And sometimes it's even the most revenue on a quarter by quarter basis. Things get real scary there too, because it's all about, we only care about the next three months. We're not trying to build something wonderful where they're making money. <br />[00:39:40] Fawn: And it's like really Twitter, Facebook, all that stuff was initially started by one group on the far right and one group on the far left. And was it like 9% of the population on each side basically started these conversations, their ideas.<br />It was by wealthy white people, all the tweets and all the Facebook stuff. And now it's dispersed to everybody yelling, but the conversation, the rumor, the gossiping was initiated by a really suspect group, if you asked my opinion that have nothing to do with the majority of people that are living in our society.<br />[00:40:21] Matt: Right. And there's a whole thought behind how that happens and yeah. Like, yeah, I can, I can, yeah. I can tell a story. Margaret Atwood writer of the Handmaid's Tale should be an unimpeachable resource. She was a second wave feminist, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She tweeted, wrote a letter, wrote a, did a something.<br />Random person was accused "Me Too" stuff. And she said he deserves to have an inquiry and they deserve to come to the truth. Whatever that truth is, FLAMBEED by saying, we need to go through a process and figure out if this guy is actually guilty. FLAMBEED... said she was, she wasn't a real feminist. She's not a post something, something from.<br />Jesper saying dude should <br />to be tried, <br />[00:41:13] Fawn: like I said, like how you always say emotion trumps logic. <br />[00:41:18] Matt: Hello. Right. And in this case, it's, it's about, if you question your own sides, beliefs as a moderate, the radicals will FLAMBE you. And that's what we're looking at. We're looking at a definite pull away from things in the middle.<br />[00:41:36] Fawn: So they know the correct thing is to look at someone with completely different views than yours. And that's the key to uniting our society. They know that, but then you're not allowed to do that. <br />[00:41:50] Matt: Well, I'm <br />going to give something up. If I, you know, to get to the middle, typically you have to sacrifice something, but the other person needs to sacrifice something.<br />[00:42:00] Fawn: And they don't and really nobody has any means to sacrifice anything anymore because <br />[00:42:04] Matt: everybody's so exhausted. <br />[00:42:07] Fawn: So once again, if we get back to friendship in a split second, you will be regenerated, but you have to come to the very basic, basic point of having very limited outsourcing of things around your life.<br />Just come to the basic point of having a human to human connection without any other influences. <br />[00:42:30] Matt: I can't argue with that. You know, I think it's, it's definitely important to speak with those people that you don't necessarily agree with to try and understand, to try and undersatnd. And, and to try and find common ground, I've found common ground with people that I, I don't know.<br />I have literally, aside from the fact that we both program nothing in common with, <br />[00:42:54] Fawn: and here's the thing, Matt, we can't have the story be about politics that we can't have the story be about the story that we're all fighting about. It has to be a story that goes to the basic basic values. The story of what you ate.<br />The story of how you felt today, going into a situation today, the story of, oh my goodness, I am not fit to handle a jury trial, but these other people thank goodness think so differently from me that they're able to do that. But sharing the stories; we're not talking about politics, <br /> we're talking about the basic core human emotions, <br />[00:43:35] Matt: right? We're talking about the things that unite us as people, not the things that divide us as, I don't know, thinking, I don't know, rational, blah, blah, blah. <br />[00:43:44] Fawn: How you love, who you love? What are you good at? What is your hobby?<br />How do you see the world leave politics out of it, but how do you see, what did you see today? I saw this craziest looking squirrel today. Crazy.<br />I saw the weirdest looking squirrel today. Pointy ears. It looked like he had gone to the beauty parlor and put red highlights on his head or hers.<br />[00:44:16] Matt: I'm not sure what else I have to share.<br />[00:44:18] Fawn: ' cause we keep an open mind because we came to the conclusion. Really. There is a way out of this. There is a way to have a better life, to have a beautiful society. And it's not as hard as you think. You don't have to figure out how to move mountains. You just have to sit in simplicity. It's really, as simple as that, just look at someone and allow them to share their story because trust me, no one wants to keep talking about politics after awhile <br />[00:44:53] Matt: and share your stories.<br />[00:44:56] Fawn: Yeah, you have to be vulnerable. And so this is different than sacrifice because you're not really sacrificing, but you are being vulnerable. And who cares, what other people think, right. You're afraid to share your story because you're afraid of how people talk about you, which leads us back to this concept and this whole mess we're in.<br />Well, if you don't care about it, if you don't care what someone thinks of you, because really it's like, okay, well, I'll go back to the dating metaphor. If you're ready to have children, and you're still single, and you're looking for someone to partner with that also wants children. You know, they tell you never talking about that on, on the first date.<br />I kind of disagree. I mean, yeah, you should get to know the person first, but yeah, you don't want to waste time and you lay it all out there. This is what I am. This is who I am. This is what I would like. This is my focus in life. And if that turns them off, well, thank you. Let's let's get rid of that.<br />Like immediately. <br />[00:45:59] Matt: What does it <br />fail quickly <br />[00:46:01] Fawn: fail quickly, move on because you will find your true goodness. You will find what you're looking for faster. You don't have to waste three months or six months or 10 years being honest and being vulnerable is a win a winning situation and being honest and being vulnerable and sharing your story,<br />it's a win for society. That's what we're about. Thank you so much for listening to us. We love you so much. We ask you to please contact us, go to our friendly world podcast.com. Reach out to us. We will reach, reach you, and we want to connect with you. We want to talk to you and discuss ideas with you, please.<br /> There's a free gift waiting for you. Please go to our website, our friendly world podcast.com share, be a part of our family. And again, thank you so much. We love you. We'll talk to you in just a few days, and we're here for you in the days between just reach out to us. Love you be well. Bye bye. Bye.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/5a84a999-5f0d-4d50-8d31-1416466b57e6/The-Gossipy-Friend-and-How-Twitter-Wrecks-Our-Connections.mp3" length="46183369"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Sharing stories is the key to bonding. We explain the difference between sharing and telling a story. Then we get to the bad sharing which is another kind of storytelling/sharing (gossip) that destroys our bond, and we use Twitter as an example of how our society has lost the ability to connect. In this episode, we have a solution to bring us back together again.  There is a way out of this. There is a way to have a better life, to have a beautiful society. And it's not as hard as you think. You don't have to figure out how to move mountains. You just have to sit in simplicity
 
#Twitter, #gossip, #bonding, #connection, #storytelling, #misinformation, #crazy, #stupid, #the art of friendship, #land of Shinar, #The story of Babel, #Tower of Babel, #fragmentation, #confirmation bias, 
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
The Gossipy Friend[00:00:00] Fawn: Yay for us. Hi everybody. Yay for us, meaning all of us together listening right now. Hi everyone. Guess what? I was partaking in a very boring conversation yesterday [00:00:15] Matt: was [00:00:15] Fawn: that with me? You were there, but you were not the reason for the boredom, but you were. I think we were all contributing to the boredom because neither side wanted to talk about anything.Because one side lives and believes radically different than ours. All this [00:00:32] Matt: would be yes, yes. The call [00:00:34] Fawn: with family[00:00:35] Matt: family. [00:00:36] Fawn: So as the conversation was being had on speakerphone and the whole family's at the table, I must admit that I was zoning out ( Matt exclaims sarcastically) and we are surrounded by boxes in our kitchen, at the moment, there was one box that was in front of me and it had in big, big letters "BELONG", like belong B E L O N G. And I started to play like, oh, what other words can I make out of belong? And so I realized with belong, you can create "ONE GLOBE". We all belong to one globe. So I was tripping out on that, the whole conversation; one global. Am I the only one tripping out on that?Isn't that great?!?! Anyway, [00:01:20] Matt: you know, actually, nevermind. [00:01:21] Fawn: No, go ahead. [00:01:22] Matt: Well, I wrote a computer program because that's what I do. And I programmed peoples, I programmed all of the house names of the house into it. And as it turns out, if I scramble up the letters in ALLEGRA, it actually spells like a genus of birds or something random.I mean, it's weird. Yeah, nobody else's full names came out to anything, but,[00:01:43] Fawn: but collectively our names come to "FAME". [00:01:46] Matt: Well, that's the first letter of each [00:01:48] Fawn: that's as complex as I can get.[00:01:50] Matt: I understand. Oh my God. I should get all the letters together. Scramble them up. [00:01:56] Fawn: Okay. Stop. So we digress. We have digressed even before we have started, we have a really good show today.Oh, well, you know, show we have a really important topic we want to talk about. We're really eager to get into. So I'm going to start. And then Matt, you come in. Okay. Matt is covering his mouth cause I told them don't you interrupt me? Let me, let me get my thoughts out first because I am the Chewbacca. I can't play games with people. If you interrupt me, or if you disagree with me or if you win, I get really mad, I, I can't function after that in a normal way.Matt is looking away. All right. So here we go. Initially, we were going to talk about the, what did we call it initially? The title we were going to use[00:02:47] Matt: "The Disagreeable Friend" , [00:02:48] Fawn: "The Disagreeable Friend" , and as we were delving into it, I realized, oh my goodness, this goes back to what we learned some years ago that, people get labeled as crazy or stupid.Right? When you are no longer able to understand someone's...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/20220502-232424.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:48:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Ikigai of Friendship - Moving to Everyday Meaning and Joy in Life]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 May 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-ikigai-of-friendship-moving-to-everyday-meaning-and-joy-in-life</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-ikigai-of-friendship-moving-to-everyday-meaning-and-joy-in-life</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Let's look at the word, the concept, and the root of Ikigai, which is about giving everyday meaning and joy. Let's look at the Ikigai. The word Ikigai comes from <em>Iki</em> meaning, life and <em>gai,</em> meaning, value.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ikigai can be interpreted as the values in your life that make it worth living. We're going to talk about how that relates to work, in the corporate world, in the business world, and most importantly, how that works in our lives; with our friendships with our families, with the joy in life. This episode is about Ikigai, joy, happiness, life purpose, how we see the world, Who and What we love, how we make a difference, where we excel, passion, values, possibilities, gifts, the value in life, the art of finding true friendship, the art of friendship, and moving towards a meaningful life.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Let's look at the word, the concept, and the root of Ikigai, which is about giving everyday meaning and joy. Let's look at the Ikigai. The word Ikigai comes from Iki meaning, life and gai, meaning, value.
Ikigai can be interpreted as the values in your life that make it worth living. We're going to talk about how that relates to work, in the corporate world, in the business world, and most importantly, how that works in our lives; with our friendships with our families, with the joy in life. This episode is about Ikigai, joy, happiness, life purpose, how we see the world, Who and What we love, how we make a difference, where we excel, passion, values, possibilities, gifts, the value in life, the art of finding true friendship, the art of friendship, and moving towards a meaningful life.
 
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Ikigai of Friendship - Moving to Everyday Meaning and Joy in Life]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Let's look at the word, the concept, and the root of Ikigai, which is about giving everyday meaning and joy. Let's look at the Ikigai. The word Ikigai comes from <em>Iki</em> meaning, life and <em>gai,</em> meaning, value.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ikigai can be interpreted as the values in your life that make it worth living. We're going to talk about how that relates to work, in the corporate world, in the business world, and most importantly, how that works in our lives; with our friendships with our families, with the joy in life. This episode is about Ikigai, joy, happiness, life purpose, how we see the world, Who and What we love, how we make a difference, where we excel, passion, values, possibilities, gifts, the value in life, the art of finding true friendship, the art of friendship, and moving towards a meaningful life.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Let's look at the word, the concept, and the root of Ikigai, which is about giving everyday meaning and joy. Let's look at the Ikigai. The word Ikigai comes from Iki meaning, life and gai, meaning, value.
Ikigai can be interpreted as the values in your life that make it worth living. We're going to talk about how that relates to work, in the corporate world, in the business world, and most importantly, how that works in our lives; with our friendships with our families, with the joy in life. This episode is about Ikigai, joy, happiness, life purpose, how we see the world, Who and What we love, how we make a difference, where we excel, passion, values, possibilities, gifts, the value in life, the art of finding true friendship, the art of friendship, and moving towards a meaningful life.
 
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:33:14</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Ceremony and the Value of Ritual]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 May 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-ceremony-and-the-value-of-ritual</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-ceremony-and-the-value-of-ritual</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Ceremony, what does it really mean? What is it? What is a daily ceremony? It's an intentional routine that's connected with how you start, how you move through, or how you end your day, the goal of ceremony is to be aware of time passing, but not to stress out about it;to observe it and notice that it counts. The little things in life, count.</p>
<p>Why do we have ceremony? They make life's, essential moments. They may reflect our beliefs, hopes, our traditions, culture, and spirituality. It's a way to bring people together and provide a sense of belonging. A ritual is defined by psychologists as a predefined sequence of symbolic actions.</p>
<p>Rituals make us less anxious. Ritualistic practices can help to bring a degree of predictability to an uncertain future. They convince our brains of constancy. It brings about a sense of predictability.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Art of Ceremony</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi, welcome back. We've got a good one for you today. Folks. We've got a great one for you today. Folks. Welcome back everybody to our friendly world. Today we're talking ceremony and I have a whole thing I'm going to go through and Matt's probably going to get mad at me because that's what he does. He has his notes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I guarantee you I've become divergent. So I'm going to start first. And then Matt, you're just going to have to like flow with it. Here we go. The art of ceremony, ceremony as a work of art, I'm here to comfort you. We're here to comfort you, the opposite of people saying; I'm going to challenge you to something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So today I'm going to comfort you with something it's the opposite of, I'm going to challenge you to do something because we all have enough that we're challenged by. Thank you very much. We're challenged enough, taxed enough, overworked, overtired, overdone, We need comfort. There's so much out there</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that could seem so out of control. Like you have the feeling the sense that there's no rhyme or reason to anything that the world is crazy, if you look at it through the news, or if you listen to certain people. Life can seem out of control, like there's no sense to anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">For us, we just went through a ceremony of the end of life ceremony. Matt's mother passed away. And so I'm looking at Matt's dad and I got an email from your brother, basically saying, you know, this is what dad's been going through. Over the years he's felt a sense of losing control.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">He gave me a whole list of things that your dad has lost control of. in life, with his body, with just everything in life and that's his perception, right? We all can look at life and we can see things differently depending on how we look at it. What is our thought form? What is our belief system?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Our belief systems can create a whole other life from one incident to another. So today we're talking about the art of ceremony and how ritual, ceremony, all of that can really help us with friendship, with feeling connected with turning our lives around and creating the life that we really want.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I looked at the etymology of first ceremony, and then it led me through all these other words and all these oth...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Ceremony, what does it really mean? What is it? What is a daily ceremony? It's an intentional routine that's connected with how you start, how you move through, or how you end your day, the goal of ceremony is to be aware of time passing, but not to stress out about it;to observe it and notice that it counts. The little things in life, count.
Why do we have ceremony? They make life's, essential moments. They may reflect our beliefs, hopes, our traditions, culture, and spirituality. It's a way to bring people together and provide a sense of belonging. A ritual is defined by psychologists as a predefined sequence of symbolic actions.
Rituals make us less anxious. Ritualistic practices can help to bring a degree of predictability to an uncertain future. They convince our brains of constancy. It brings about a sense of predictability.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
The Art of Ceremony
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hi, welcome back. We've got a good one for you today. Folks. We've got a great one for you today. Folks. Welcome back everybody to our friendly world. Today we're talking ceremony and I have a whole thing I'm going to go through and Matt's probably going to get mad at me because that's what he does. He has his notes.
I guarantee you I've become divergent. So I'm going to start first. And then Matt, you're just going to have to like flow with it. Here we go. The art of ceremony, ceremony as a work of art, I'm here to comfort you. We're here to comfort you, the opposite of people saying; I'm going to challenge you to something.
So today I'm going to comfort you with something it's the opposite of, I'm going to challenge you to do something because we all have enough that we're challenged by. Thank you very much. We're challenged enough, taxed enough, overworked, overtired, overdone, We need comfort. There's so much out there
that could seem so out of control. Like you have the feeling the sense that there's no rhyme or reason to anything that the world is crazy, if you look at it through the news, or if you listen to certain people. Life can seem out of control, like there's no sense to anything.
 For us, we just went through a ceremony of the end of life ceremony. Matt's mother passed away. And so I'm looking at Matt's dad and I got an email from your brother, basically saying, you know, this is what dad's been going through. Over the years he's felt a sense of losing control.
 He gave me a whole list of things that your dad has lost control of. in life, with his body, with just everything in life and that's his perception, right? We all can look at life and we can see things differently depending on how we look at it. What is our thought form? What is our belief system?
Our belief systems can create a whole other life from one incident to another. So today we're talking about the art of ceremony and how ritual, ceremony, all of that can really help us with friendship, with feeling connected with turning our lives around and creating the life that we really want.
So I looked at the etymology of first ceremony, and then it led me through all these other words and all these oth...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Ceremony and the Value of Ritual]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Ceremony, what does it really mean? What is it? What is a daily ceremony? It's an intentional routine that's connected with how you start, how you move through, or how you end your day, the goal of ceremony is to be aware of time passing, but not to stress out about it;to observe it and notice that it counts. The little things in life, count.</p>
<p>Why do we have ceremony? They make life's, essential moments. They may reflect our beliefs, hopes, our traditions, culture, and spirituality. It's a way to bring people together and provide a sense of belonging. A ritual is defined by psychologists as a predefined sequence of symbolic actions.</p>
<p>Rituals make us less anxious. Ritualistic practices can help to bring a degree of predictability to an uncertain future. They convince our brains of constancy. It brings about a sense of predictability.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Art of Ceremony</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi, welcome back. We've got a good one for you today. Folks. We've got a great one for you today. Folks. Welcome back everybody to our friendly world. Today we're talking ceremony and I have a whole thing I'm going to go through and Matt's probably going to get mad at me because that's what he does. He has his notes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I guarantee you I've become divergent. So I'm going to start first. And then Matt, you're just going to have to like flow with it. Here we go. The art of ceremony, ceremony as a work of art, I'm here to comfort you. We're here to comfort you, the opposite of people saying; I'm going to challenge you to something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So today I'm going to comfort you with something it's the opposite of, I'm going to challenge you to do something because we all have enough that we're challenged by. Thank you very much. We're challenged enough, taxed enough, overworked, overtired, overdone, We need comfort. There's so much out there</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that could seem so out of control. Like you have the feeling the sense that there's no rhyme or reason to anything that the world is crazy, if you look at it through the news, or if you listen to certain people. Life can seem out of control, like there's no sense to anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">For us, we just went through a ceremony of the end of life ceremony. Matt's mother passed away. And so I'm looking at Matt's dad and I got an email from your brother, basically saying, you know, this is what dad's been going through. Over the years he's felt a sense of losing control.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">He gave me a whole list of things that your dad has lost control of. in life, with his body, with just everything in life and that's his perception, right? We all can look at life and we can see things differently depending on how we look at it. What is our thought form? What is our belief system?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Our belief systems can create a whole other life from one incident to another. So today we're talking about the art of ceremony and how ritual, ceremony, all of that can really help us with friendship, with feeling connected with turning our lives around and creating the life that we really want.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I looked at the etymology of first ceremony, and then it led me through all these other words and all these other roots. And it's really interesting. So bear with me. I'm going to start with some explanations of what these words are and when you really look at the meaning of something so simple, like one word, bringing something down to one thing, simplifying it to one tiny aspect will actually give you some great Epiphanes will bring you some clarity</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to some big questions in life. So looking at the word ceremony first, I looked at ceremonial and I'm like, really like, w it doesn't really explain it. It just says belonging to( in a religious way), ritual. Ceremonial practice. Ceremonial means connected with. Constituting or consisting of, or fit for a ceremony. Let's look at the ceremony. Ceremony comes from, late 14th century. It's a religious observance, a solemn, rite, from old French and directly from Medieval Latin, it means holiness, sacredness, awe, reverand, like a sacred ceremony.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ceremonious, the adjective form, circa 1550s relating to outward forms or rites also of persons. Punctilious in matters of formality. Oh my goodness. Punctilious until they asked me, I have no idea. Okay. Punctilious means showing great attention to detail or correct behavior.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So ceremony is relating to outward forms of, or rites also persons punctilious in matters of formality, full of show and ceremony. Okay. Let's figure out what ritual actually means. Ritual adjective form 1560s pertaining to, or consisting of a rite from French or directly from Latin ritualus I'm not sure how to pronounce, uh, it's relating to in religious aspects , relating to like religious rites, religious observance or ceremony, custom usage. Ritual the noun came in in the 1640s. It's , defined as a prescribed manner of performing religious worship. From the 1650s, really basically a book containing the rites or ordinances of a church, also the external forms of religious or other devotional exercises often in that sense of like, um, just like a mere ritual, like forgetful of meaning. Right. It's just, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> uh, yeah, I came across that too, for sure. And it's interesting that all of these definitions all revolve around kind of Europe and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> religion. We're looking at the etymology, which comes from the European, the Latin, the French.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But if you, if you take a look at, you know, the power of the church really had during that time and who had the time to create ritual and ceremony back then because the peasant was busy taking care of feeding himself</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> with, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">gets me to our topic today because we're going to get into that aspect because I don't want to get into the religious aspect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want to get into the peasant cause we were all peasants. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And again, the other thing that brings it up is, you know, I remember I've read in books where like, religion is kind of the only God, God help us, but entertainment that people had back in say the middle ages, So church was something bigger than a worshiping God, which of course is huge, but it was also, bringing together of community inside of social conventions and social norms.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they're also kind of emphasizes the church has power over like removing pagan traditions. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. It was all about control. It's about controlling the masses. It's about kind of like, um, yeah, just. Making sure that you have authority over the mass consciousness, right? To bring about that sense of belonging and connection in that you behave a certain way, but we're going to get away from all that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to talk about really how ritual can improve your emotional and everything kind of wellbeing in life. Specifically with friendship, but let me just get back to the other meanings of rite. R I T E early 14th century, it's a formal act or procedure of religious observance performed according to an established manner from Latin ritus.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">R I T U S is it's a, it's a custom usage especially a religious observance or ceremony source also have Spanish, Italian, R I T O Rito, which perhaps is from the PI root R E, which means like when you have the root R E it , designates like the meaning to reason, count, count on the notion of. To count to observe carefully.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's, that's where the true, beautiful sensation of the meaning of ceremony and ritual that we're going to talk about today comes from, because it's all about carefully observing; something you and I talk about all the time, pay attention to trifles, right? Which in martial arts, you were taught like pay attention to the little detail, the little details that people will ignore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, the magic in life. What are you glancing over that's there trying to give you a message. So then we get into the whole term Rite of passage, which came about in 1909, that term Rite of passage, which is the marking the end of one phase, and the start of another in an individual life. It's translated from French and it's coined by a French anthropologist Arnold Van Gennep. I don't know how to pronounce his last name, please forgive me. But if we look at the root R E the root R E it comes from the Proto-Indo-European root meaning, which means to reason, count. It's a variant of PIE root AR I know this sounds like absurd to get into the such details of it, but like it's, it's, it's really profound.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Check it out. So "AR" means to fit together. And then we get into Sanskrit Sanskrit, R A D H "RADH". And that means to succeed, accomplish. You get into Greek "arithmos" number amount, the Latin R E R I to consider confirm you get into old church Slavonic. "raddit" R a D D I T to take thoughts, attend to. You going into old Irish, "im-radim" to deliberate, consider; Old English</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">oh, what's the sound when the a and the e go together. It's R a E D The A and the E go together. What's that sound?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> see to me like the word Gaelic, G a E L I C is Gaelic. So I would go with an a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but Raden radon. Yes. Okay. So all English, um, R a E D a N means to advise, counsel, persuade, read; Old English, Old High German.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">R I M means number. Irish R I M rim means number and then this word came up as I was looking it up and I tried to look it up further and I got nowhere, but this is really interesting. So it said Old Irish, R I M means number. And then this word "Dorimu" D O R I M U means "I Count". I count.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that really struck me because, you know, again, going back to a person who's not taken seriously, a person that's ignored a flower, that's ignored, a situation that's ignored, a little sign in the universe that goes unnoticed. And for this to come up, I count, you know, that's what ceremony is to me. Water, using water, drinking water,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">being able to splash some water on your face in the morning. That is a ritual. That is a ceremony.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So going back to ceremony again, what does it really mean? What is it? What is a daily ceremony? It's an intentional routine that's connected with how you start, how you move through or how you end your day, the goal of ceremony is to be aware of time passing, but not to stress out about it;</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">to observe it and notice that it counts. The little things in life, they count. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why do we have ceremony? They make life's, essential moments. They may reflect our beliefs, our hopes, our traditions, culture, spirituality. It's a way to bring people together and provide a sense of belonging. A ritual is defined by psychologists as a predefined sequence of symbolic actions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rituals make us less anxious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ritualistic practices can help to bring a degree of predictability to an uncertain future. They convince our brains of constancy consistency is constancy or word constancy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't think so. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, it makes your brain calm down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I completely get it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It brings about a sense of predictability.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you can't predict anything,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it tricks your brain into going with a certain rhythm. That's what it does. And there are all these studies that show that, like, for example, singing of a song before any high pressure situation lowers your heart rate and anxiety levels, you know, they put groups, people into two different groups and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">they ask them to do really stressful things like public speaking, but like doing a huge speech in front of a very big crowd. And they did this thing where they had one group do some sort of ritual and they had them go through that ritual. And then the other group, they were just asked to sit quietly before they went up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so they measured everything. They measured their heart rates, everything. And the ones that went through a ritual had absolutely lowered, heart rate. They had lowered physiology do Francis physiological. They had lowered physiological anxiety.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Rituals create some semblance of order to regain control. That's why I think so many people turn to religion because when life seems so absurd and you feel like you're not in sync with anything, it's a way to, it's kind of like getting into a groove somehow, but that's where we have to be careful because there are groups out there like cults and all these, like, I think of hazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right in college. Why do people join groups? Because they want a sense of belonging, right? When you feel out of control, when you feel like you don't fit in anywhere, you tend to join groups and look at the world today, look at how we don't even want, we don't even know what truth is because when people go through hard times, they migrate towards a group that they could feel</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">they belong to because they feel seen and they feel heard and that's a ritual. Like they become part of a ritual and that ritual could be good or bad. It could be like promoting hate and it, that ritual could be creating a beautiful ceremonial way to honor life, all life. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah. I have to say that, from an evolutionary view point, it certainly makes sense to get together under, you know, way back in the day to get together around a communal fire, to tell communal stories to then have rituals like in Finland,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">there's a whole ritual where they light these huge bonfires because of course bonfires keep the evil spirits away. You know, is it truth? Is it not truth? There are societies out there where, a mystical figure will, you know, you call on them to bring rain. And all these things, all these situations that may be, feel like things are out of your control will all of a sudden, you're, you're coming together as a community behind this figure,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and we're going to have rain. We're gonna, we're going to keep the evil spirits away and all the rest of it. I totally understand the whole focus of ceremony and the comfort that it brings because, we do say, we're stronger together and that's absolutely true and that's,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">comes from an evolutionary viewpoint because you're less likely to be victimized if you're in a large group by outsiders. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So now let's get into the rituals and the ceremonies of our daily lives, and the art of ceremony. How can we do that? One is going back to the little thing I read. I count, you know, your life is a ceremony.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your life is a ritual. Going back to, I count, it's to really recognize what you do on a daily basis and looking at it and thinking, is this a beautiful ceremony or is it something that I can just disregard and get rid of? Is it really. Is it really helping me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">even is this something that I managed to do every day that I just do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I just go through the motions of doing it because it's what I have to do, brush my teeth, et cetera, et cetera, first thing in the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">morning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But if you do that with intention, it creates a better life. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for example, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">intention and joy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, or just intention, it doesn't even have to be joy if you can give it proper attention.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For example, there's that study. That's done on maids that work in a hotel. I don't remember all the details, but they were told, Hey, have you noticed that the amount of movement that you do with your body, you know, changing the sheets, , bending over constantly all day, you're actually a more active than a professional athlete.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like on par with like an Olympic style training athlete. And once they were told that, and once they like put that focus on that thought, they noticed that these people working in the hospitality field that did the cleaning of the rooms and everything that their bodies started to change immediately.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They didn't change anything else, but they put the focus on well, yeah, I do move around a lot. , the inches around their waist shrunk. Like they lost weight. Do you know what I'm saying? They didn't change anything. They didn't change their diets or anything, but they just put that intention on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wow. I do move around a lot. So yeah, brushing your teeth and as you're brushing your teeth, knowing you have teeth, you're taking care of yourself. It provides a greater benefit, right? Again, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's joy, you know, in, in saying that as a maid, you work out as much as a professional athletes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're like I do that. That makes you on some level, hopefully feel good. Hopefully you're not like, oh my God, I do. Um, so there's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">joy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's it is the word joy. or is it? Pride or attention? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well see, see joy is not one of the seven sins, but pride is so we'll go with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">joy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't believe in these sins that some man put together probably in, in the, in the name of religion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think pride is a very necessary thing. I'm proud of my body. I am proud of the work that I do. So look, can we just forget that I'm going to reframe it? Yes, no, I don't think pride is a sin at all, but getting back to friendship. So we're going through all this. I'm trying to get back to the basics of the basis.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm trying to get to the base, the base of it, which is ceremony and really learning what it is, relearning, really looking at what the definition is, so that we can look around and see how we have ceremony, how we have ritual in our daily lives, so that we can have that ripple out into friendship, into all the relationships that we have.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Using ceremony to create better friendships to create better relationships, period. Do you know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you know, once we get through brushing your teeth is a ritual, right? The way you get out of bed, the way you walk as a ceremony, like everyone has a different strut, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's it's a ritual. How you walk as ritual. How you dance the way you dance, why you dance is a ritual, the songs that you listen to that move you through the day that is ritual. Right? So we can go through that and then elevate it to, okay. How do you set up the life around you? I always talk about when you come into our home, you're smacked on the forehead gently</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">by these hearts that are floating from the ceiling. It's a way that we welcome you into our home. The way we offer you water or tea or lemonade, or in Matt's case, a certain IPO IPO. Oh my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Lord. And definitely not an IPA either. Cause I'm not in India. Pale ale guy. I'm a Belgium, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> whatever the beer thing term is another acronym for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A libation it's ceremony. It's really. Right the way we meet each other, the way we greet each other is ritual. All that that we ignore is so important. It's the key to nurturing friendships. And before that, it's the key to inviting a friendship. So that's it. That's what I want to talk about from now on is the art of ceremony.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The art of ritual. It is a work of art. Your life is a work of art.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And again, I'm just telling you saying all these things that you're describing. You're bringing joy to yourself that then extends out. It's not pride. It's joy, it's happiness. It's, it's all the rest of it. What is wrong with the pride? There's nothing wrong with necessarily pride. It's just joy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> sin. It is no, it's not.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> From a Christian point of view, it's a sin. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">is ridiculous. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Besides. Anyways for me, ceremony revolves. It's like, there's different kind of facets for me on ceremony and ceremony brings belonging, obviously, cause communities come together. Uh, sometimes some, and this is where we get to sometimes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And sometimes it brings belonging. Cause some of your rituals and ceremonies are individual, obviously. Sometimes your ceremonies revolve around remembrance, remembering an event, remembering a person, remembering a place, remembering a time. Sometimes it's about a blessing. So your blessing, you're getting a blessing from, there's a, there's a ritual.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's a ceremony in, um, I don't know where, oh my goodness. It's somewhere in Asia where a priest tattoos you. And as he's putting a tattoo up serious, full-time a hundred percent going to have his tattoo, the rest of my life, as he, as he puts it on you, he's chanting and praying over it. So again, blessings, blessings for good harvest, blessings for, fill in whatever blanks you want, for rain or for whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then also ceremony revolves around, an understanding that you're ending a phase and beginning a new one. So it's that, that, that ceremony, but ceremonies in intent, original intent is to bring joy. over, over the cynical ages, we've turned it into oftentimes ceremony is kind of going through motions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. That's very nice, Matt. Well done, but going back to the pride. So are you saying it's a sin when I tell our children, I'm proud of you?. It's a sin? That is ridiculous. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's not a sin for you to say that you are proud of them. It's a sin for them to take pride in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's bullshshshsh.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Let's not focus on, like, I please don't make me defend a to patriarchy B you know, Christian values through the ages.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. I'm just saying,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> why did </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you even bring it in? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Because it's fun. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, it's not fun. So anyway, we're just going to leave it here today with a thought of like, what is, what is ritual for you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Revel in it, and relax and be joyful about that and be proud of the rituals that you have in your life by noticing them and honoring. And looking at what you can possibly get rid of that's not serving you. Let's get rid of that. And the ritual have an opposite ritual of something negative. Like if you're looking at yourself and going, look, you can look at yourself and go, wow. Hello? Hello. Hello. Let's switch it up. So that's, what I want is to not challenge you, but to comfort you in that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we're going to continue on with the art of ceremony and we're going to build it. And we're going to create a beautiful friendship ceremony around the world. A total work of art that will transform our society. That's what we're here for. Do you have anything else? Did I totally derail you from what you wanted to talk about?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Totally derail </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> me. Absolutely not first. Absolutely not. Um, yeah. One other thing to understand, as far as ceremony and gathering is that the people that are seen and the people that are heard. Which again is a powerful force. Again, it's kind of a overwhelmingly repetitive. I think thing that happens in our podcasts is people feel the need to be seen in people feel the need to be heard and people feel </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the need to belong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also there is a certain aspect that you can't see, you can't touch, but you can feel connected to that. True. You know, you can think about it in many different ways. Like having end of life ceremony; it's done so you can still have a connection to the person </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the ritual is there to connect you with a person that has made a transition. You can look at it and so many different ways. It is. It is above all about connection, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Abs </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just like to take just one brief moment and describe one or two of the, uh, ceremonies that either I've done or I do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do tell what? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So when I graduated from high school, which is one of those, I guess, rites of passage for me, it's like literally that type of ceremony, the Rite of passage ceremony involves kind of a first phase a middle phase and an end phase.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the first phase is really takes us into the ceremonial remembrance. And so I remember everything that transpired. Inside of like my quote unquote normal education, my kindergarten elementary school, junior high school and high school. And there's a sadness there because that time has ended. And then there's the actual kind of exuberance of the party because we had a little, you know, even just going to your high school graduation, it's an uplifting moment</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">surrounded by all your classmates, et cetera, et cetera. And then the next phase is really looking forward. But what was interesting for me and thank goodness my parents were mellow, was that my cake, first of all, I wanted it as dark as possible. And I wanted it just to read, which is gruesome now that I think about it was like rip Matt, which was just like, say goodbye to that aspect of who you were on some level, because you're about to enter into the next phase.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hold on for, so we have so many of our friends that are not from the United States and non English speaking. So rip means rest in peace. It's what they put on tombstones when people </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">die. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Over and over again, when you hear somebody dies rest in peace. Yes. So anyways, so that's an example of a ceremony that happened God, when I was 17.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then a more kind of recent ceremony is, something I've discovered that I do, and it's every morning before I start work and I work at home. When I, when I put on my headphones, Quite nice and a little, they were a little spendy. I take a moment just to look at them and go, oh, and then I put them over my ears and I pick something music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's going to move me that day. And I'm very deliberate. It's always something new and it's always something I start from. It's not like a start in the middle of anything. And for me it's never a podcast or anything. It's very much a piece of music that I know is going to move me and really that sets the tone for my work day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's, again, an example of a, of that's a much more personal ceremony, but that is one that I adhere to every day. And then I have gotten now I think about it. Oh my goodness. So then the first thing I do is I plan out my day and have to plan out my day and God help you if you want to add a meeting after I've planned out my day, because it just confuses me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right, but that's literally the next thing I do. And that's kind of one of those Benjamin Franklin used to do that. He would literally plan out his day at the beginning of each day and then, take care of everything he needed, he felt he needed to take care of while I'm listening to my cool tunes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. I have two things to add. Okay. As another example of two more examples of. Um, I've talked about this before, but when I worked at the Aveda corporation, one of the chemists then I was friends with would, would tell me how, and I would see it too, because first of all, everything was immaculate in the chemistry department.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Of course it has to be. My friend would completely meticulously clean his desk top and bottom . At the end of the Workday. And he said, it's to honor the next day, because he doesn't want to start the day with a mess. Like all this stuff that the other day presented, you start with a clear plate and you give that day a certain respect of starting fresh, starting new.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's a certain reverence in that there's a certain holiness in that, a full on holiness and that which leads me now to the second example. Our friend, Heather, the advisor, she came onto our show a while ago. She'll always tell me and remind me, reminds everybody is how you start is how you finish, which is exactly the example of my friend with his desk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But let's say you're moving from one town to another town. Always leave on good terms. Always say a thank you. Make sure that you have not one negative charge on what you're leaving behind because guaranteed it will manifest it will. It will come about all these same issues that you left with a bad charge with ;a negative charge,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it will go into your new life. So how you start is how you finish. So to leave a place to, to leave a place. Yeah, this is the example I leave with good intentions and a sense of honor and a sense of gratitude and a clear slate before you start something new. And that is ceremony. Yeah. So there you, haven't something to ponder something to celebrate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, my goodness. Be proud. Be proud. Proud is good. we love you. Thank you so much for listening. Talk to you in a few days. Talk to you later. Bye-bye bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Ceremony, what does it really mean? What is it? What is a daily ceremony? It's an intentional routine that's connected with how you start, how you move through, or how you end your day, the goal of ceremony is to be aware of time passing, but not to stress out about it;to observe it and notice that it counts. The little things in life, count.
Why do we have ceremony? They make life's, essential moments. They may reflect our beliefs, hopes, our traditions, culture, and spirituality. It's a way to bring people together and provide a sense of belonging. A ritual is defined by psychologists as a predefined sequence of symbolic actions.
Rituals make us less anxious. Ritualistic practices can help to bring a degree of predictability to an uncertain future. They convince our brains of constancy. It brings about a sense of predictability.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
The Art of Ceremony
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hi, welcome back. We've got a good one for you today. Folks. We've got a great one for you today. Folks. Welcome back everybody to our friendly world. Today we're talking ceremony and I have a whole thing I'm going to go through and Matt's probably going to get mad at me because that's what he does. He has his notes.
I guarantee you I've become divergent. So I'm going to start first. And then Matt, you're just going to have to like flow with it. Here we go. The art of ceremony, ceremony as a work of art, I'm here to comfort you. We're here to comfort you, the opposite of people saying; I'm going to challenge you to something.
So today I'm going to comfort you with something it's the opposite of, I'm going to challenge you to do something because we all have enough that we're challenged by. Thank you very much. We're challenged enough, taxed enough, overworked, overtired, overdone, We need comfort. There's so much out there
that could seem so out of control. Like you have the feeling the sense that there's no rhyme or reason to anything that the world is crazy, if you look at it through the news, or if you listen to certain people. Life can seem out of control, like there's no sense to anything.
 For us, we just went through a ceremony of the end of life ceremony. Matt's mother passed away. And so I'm looking at Matt's dad and I got an email from your brother, basically saying, you know, this is what dad's been going through. Over the years he's felt a sense of losing control.
 He gave me a whole list of things that your dad has lost control of. in life, with his body, with just everything in life and that's his perception, right? We all can look at life and we can see things differently depending on how we look at it. What is our thought form? What is our belief system?
Our belief systems can create a whole other life from one incident to another. So today we're talking about the art of ceremony and how ritual, ceremony, all of that can really help us with friendship, with feeling connected with turning our lives around and creating the life that we really want.
So I looked at the etymology of first ceremony, and then it led me through all these other words and all these oth...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:33:29</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Ceremonies of Life and the Disappointed Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 25 Apr 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-ceremonies-of-life-and-the-disappointed-friend</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-ceremonies-of-life-and-the-disappointed-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>It was about the ceremony. It was about the experience. It was about the grief. It was about the, it was about my mom. It wasn't about these random people. I don't care really don't care. And honestly, don't care. So that's me, but just be careful with your words out there folks. Cause the problem is, is my dad said you are a disappointment, not that very disappointing or I'm disappointed that you're not coming.</p>
<p>He said you are a disappointment. Because that's his attempt to define my entire being versus defining an action. So just be careful, be careful at work. I was told very early on by somebody who wasn't particularly wise, but God, he nailed this one. You never say, you know, Bad. You say the work you did today was bad because it's inherently different.</p>
<p>You're not ascribing value to the person you're ascribing value to the work the person produces. It's entirely different.</p>
<p>This episode is about the friends who are disappointed; the people you can't please, and how to follow your own guidance in life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p><span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have things on my mind, and I don't want to lose it because yesterday I said, let's talk about this on the show with, with, with the outbursts that I have been having that I was holding in for a few days. So let's get going before I lose my nerve or just lose it, like whatever. I don't know.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, all right. If you're about a quick, hello, you're bound to disappoint everybody at some point. So don't worry about. When people say they're disappointed in you, that disappointed friend, not only that today is not about the disappointing friend or, um, well, maybe disappointing friend that could be you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to use ourselves as an example to talk about what we're talking about today to really convey the message out there that you're bound to disappoint others in life. Okay. It has very little to do with you is, is my understanding, because I'll tell you the whole thing and we're going to use ourselves as the example.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt is leaning back and kind of bracing himself because it's mostly about him today. Um, bear with me. So it's not just the disappointed friend. It is the self-absorbed friends, the distraught friend, the born. Okay. I'm going to put this in quotes, "born of an older generation" friend, the "stuck in the old way" friend. Here we go. So, like I said, living life, living your authentic life, living, what you think is right for you and your immediate surroundings from your perspective, no one else can see your perspective, but you, so when you make decisions based on that, and it's not to say that you don't you're, uh, you're not</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">caring about other people or other situations, you know, most of us are. And that's what makes some decisions so gut wrenching, that's why certain situations in life are so hard. And you waste a lot of time going back and forth because you do see the other perspective, but no one very few people, especially these days have the capacity to put themselves in your shoes and really understand where you're coming from to have compassion, not only for themselves, but for you and why you're making the decisions that you're making.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Saying that that's one of the reasons why people get disappointed when you realize really you are responsible for your life, you are responsible for the decisions that you make. You are responsible for seeing your perspective and you have to live by that. And there are consequences. So what does that really mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[It was about the ceremony. It was about the experience. It was about the grief. It was about the, it was about my mom. It wasn't about these random people. I don't care really don't care. And honestly, don't care. So that's me, but just be careful with your words out there folks. Cause the problem is, is my dad said you are a disappointment, not that very disappointing or I'm disappointed that you're not coming.
He said you are a disappointment. Because that's his attempt to define my entire being versus defining an action. So just be careful, be careful at work. I was told very early on by somebody who wasn't particularly wise, but God, he nailed this one. You never say, you know, Bad. You say the work you did today was bad because it's inherently different.
You're not ascribing value to the person you're ascribing value to the work the person produces. It's entirely different.
This episode is about the friends who are disappointed; the people you can't please, and how to follow your own guidance in life.
 
TRANSCRIPT
Fawn: I have things on my mind, and I don't want to lose it because yesterday I said, let's talk about this on the show with, with, with the outbursts that I have been having that I was holding in for a few days. So let's get going before I lose my nerve or just lose it, like whatever. I don't know.
Um, all right. If you're about a quick, hello, you're bound to disappoint everybody at some point. So don't worry about. When people say they're disappointed in you, that disappointed friend, not only that today is not about the disappointing friend or, um, well, maybe disappointing friend that could be you.
We're going to use ourselves as an example to talk about what we're talking about today to really convey the message out there that you're bound to disappoint others in life. Okay. It has very little to do with you is, is my understanding, because I'll tell you the whole thing and we're going to use ourselves as the example.
Matt is leaning back and kind of bracing himself because it's mostly about him today. Um, bear with me. So it's not just the disappointed friend. It is the self-absorbed friends, the distraught friend, the born. Okay. I'm going to put this in quotes, "born of an older generation" friend, the "stuck in the old way" friend. Here we go. So, like I said, living life, living your authentic life, living, what you think is right for you and your immediate surroundings from your perspective, no one else can see your perspective, but you, so when you make decisions based on that, and it's not to say that you don't you're, uh, you're not
caring about other people or other situations, you know, most of us are. And that's what makes some decisions so gut wrenching, that's why certain situations in life are so hard. And you waste a lot of time going back and forth because you do see the other perspective, but no one very few people, especially these days have the capacity to put themselves in your shoes and really understand where you're coming from to have compassion, not only for themselves, but for you and why you're making the decisions that you're making.
Saying that that's one of the reasons why people get disappointed when you realize really you are responsible for your life, you are responsible for the decisions that you make. You are responsible for seeing your perspective and you have to live by that. And there are consequences. So what does that really mean?
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Ceremonies of Life and the Disappointed Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>It was about the ceremony. It was about the experience. It was about the grief. It was about the, it was about my mom. It wasn't about these random people. I don't care really don't care. And honestly, don't care. So that's me, but just be careful with your words out there folks. Cause the problem is, is my dad said you are a disappointment, not that very disappointing or I'm disappointed that you're not coming.</p>
<p>He said you are a disappointment. Because that's his attempt to define my entire being versus defining an action. So just be careful, be careful at work. I was told very early on by somebody who wasn't particularly wise, but God, he nailed this one. You never say, you know, Bad. You say the work you did today was bad because it's inherently different.</p>
<p>You're not ascribing value to the person you're ascribing value to the work the person produces. It's entirely different.</p>
<p>This episode is about the friends who are disappointed; the people you can't please, and how to follow your own guidance in life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p><span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have things on my mind, and I don't want to lose it because yesterday I said, let's talk about this on the show with, with, with the outbursts that I have been having that I was holding in for a few days. So let's get going before I lose my nerve or just lose it, like whatever. I don't know.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, all right. If you're about a quick, hello, you're bound to disappoint everybody at some point. So don't worry about. When people say they're disappointed in you, that disappointed friend, not only that today is not about the disappointing friend or, um, well, maybe disappointing friend that could be you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to use ourselves as an example to talk about what we're talking about today to really convey the message out there that you're bound to disappoint others in life. Okay. It has very little to do with you is, is my understanding, because I'll tell you the whole thing and we're going to use ourselves as the example.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt is leaning back and kind of bracing himself because it's mostly about him today. Um, bear with me. So it's not just the disappointed friend. It is the self-absorbed friends, the distraught friend, the born. Okay. I'm going to put this in quotes, "born of an older generation" friend, the "stuck in the old way" friend. Here we go. So, like I said, living life, living your authentic life, living, what you think is right for you and your immediate surroundings from your perspective, no one else can see your perspective, but you, so when you make decisions based on that, and it's not to say that you don't you're, uh, you're not</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">caring about other people or other situations, you know, most of us are. And that's what makes some decisions so gut wrenching, that's why certain situations in life are so hard. And you waste a lot of time going back and forth because you do see the other perspective, but no one very few people, especially these days have the capacity to put themselves in your shoes and really understand where you're coming from to have compassion, not only for themselves, but for you and why you're making the decisions that you're making.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Saying that that's one of the reasons why people get disappointed when you realize really you are responsible for your life, you are responsible for the decisions that you make. You are responsible for seeing your perspective and you have to live by that. And there are consequences. So what does that really mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're disappointed in themselves the people that are mad at you, they're disappointed in their own life situations. And I want you to understand that. So we're w I'm going to, I'm going to start this story and give you all the different examples of this. I think it's really important to talk about because no one talks about it. When people are disappointed in you and they tell you, you are a disappointment, it is so hurtful</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and you can go into a spiral and it can destroy you, which is what happened to us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">But don't let it destroy you. I want you to listen to this and, and know that you are a good person, that it's okay. Let me just get into it. Okay. So guys, Matt's mom became ill rather quickly. And you know, we, we talked with the family at least one or two times a week. We don't live in the same state </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and this is, we've been talking to them once or twice a week for years, since </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> 2015.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> so my mother re recently became sick. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So. It was Matt's mom's birthday. And then a week later she woke up and I had to be taken to the hospital. We, we had these Saturday morning dates with them, the whole family on the phone, and we would talk for sometimes two and a half hours,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">every Saturday, like clockwork. One Saturday, we called and the phone kept being busy and we could sense something had happened. And so the story goes from there. Um, from the hospital, we were talking to Matt's mom and, um, when things were getting really bad and even from the beginning, she was saying she was ready to go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She wants to go. And the whole family was like, no, please don't go. No, no, no. And she was fighting with your dad, you know, saying George, I told you I want to go. I don't know what the, what words were said, but apparently it was, it was not pleasant for your dad. I think he was thinking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Like it ever could be. . .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, was he yelled at, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> um, I'm sure he was, there was, there was a lot of pain </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">involved, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For a month and a half, there was extreme anguish for everyone, especially for your dad. And you know, your dad is a planner. You're a dad is a great provider. You're a dad is one of, probably the smartest people on the planet. Like literally a rocket </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">science </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> completely lives in the world logic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But from a, you know, from a different mindset, You know, our conversations had to be carefully critiqued before we had them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Like your mom would be the buffer. Like she would, she, she always was, you know, kind of real man, like George. Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, yeah, it reminds me of Kyle. What was that? Ben Stiller movie meet the parents where the mom would say muskrat when the father was starting to step out of bounds, it felt like my mother performed that role.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She didn't say muskrat, but she might as well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, she, she didn't have a code word, but she would say, George, you know, So, all right. So we were talking and she specifically said, and we didn't want to anyway, because we, we have our own beliefs and everything, but she said, I don't want the girls to see me this way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So don't come. And so anyway, and because of everything you went through, Matt, we were not only experiencing your moms experience. But we were reliving what happened with you in 2015. And so, and so are the girls, so like all these things came back </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> when 2015, I was, I was in the hospital, things were looking terrible and I'm fine now, but yeah, things were looking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">terrible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Matt had a miraculous recovery, but basically he, he, I think you did die, right? Like you kind of crossed over a little bit. Well, it was bad guys. I don't even want to talk about it because I still have insomnia because of it. Like I can't sleep. It was trauma to say the least for the whole, you know, for the girls, for me, for you, obviously.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, so we, we couldn't revisit that because we're still living through the trauma of what we experienced. We tend to, because of, especially because of what happened, we don't, we try not to put too much emphasis on the physical things, you know, like even Christmas gifts or birthday gifts and stuff like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're not about just the gift, the per you know, the physical thing. We're about experiences. We're about, you know, not holding onto the physical form too much and trying to be more light about it on many levels. So that's why one, because of the trauma, neither one of us could handle seeing your mom like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And two, it just, it wasn't, it wasn't healthy for the girls. It was not healthy for you. And also we were able to call several times a day and be there and provide levity for the situation. So we were right there as opposed to like what we'd be there would be in the way we'd be like constantly like just driving back and forth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whereas if we're on a call, there is no crying. The girls were like losing it the whole time, you know, but when they were on the phone, They were the, the granddaughters, they were like, hi grams, high gramps, you know, hello, uncle Jeff, you know, whatever. Like, you know what I mean? It was like, what they needed was for us to be light for us to be there with them at an instant, you know, instead of the driving back and forth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm still making excuses because of what was said to us. So I'm trying to explain to you all, and I'm sure maybe some of you are looking at us like we're evil for, for saying, okay, well we're not going to go be by her bedside. Right. So this is how the story starts. Am I saying it? Okay. My like talking too much right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. So what happened was, things started to escalate with your mom with her health and she was no longer coherent. Like, we couldn't understand what she was saying. They, they had her in hospice care. And I think the hospice care worker had her own beliefs in what should be done.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Like, um, the entire family needs to be here right now. And so she it's a long story, but basically we felt like, wow, she fully expressed to us what she wanted, you know? And then all of a sudden there's the caretaker saying you want them here with you. Right. And she would mumble something and then the word yes</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">was made to come out. Like, yes. You know what I mean? And then that led to Matt's dad saying, okay guys, I want you to come right now. And so we, we, I mean, in that instant while he was still on the phone and like, with like telling the girls grab the luggage, so they brought all the luggage down. I'm like, okay, go take showers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we're not going to have the ability to take showers for a couple of days, maybe because we're going to be on the road, traveling, get trying to get there. We don't know where we're going to stay. So like, get ready. You're everything ready. And we did. And while they were doing that, I was on the airline trying to find tickets.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Basically would've cost us like $5,000 to go that day. And we would have had to figure out what to do with your job. You didn't even tell your job what had happened until days later after your mom actually passed away. So, no, no, no, no. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's, that's not entirely true. I did tell key people what was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, but the crew didn't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when you're experiencing hardship, the whole crew didn't know because they weren't sharing that experience. You didn't tell everyone what was really happening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Because it's very hard to describe. So you tell the key people and you expect foolishly that people actually talk and people don't anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You assumed that they would, and they didn't. Okay. And so what happened was, after making all the reservations and all that stuff, and you know, it's not like we have a ton of money. So $5,000 was a big chunk. And that was just for, I think, airline tickets right. For that day. So, um, we got on the phone with your dad</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">who had gone out to lunch. So we didn't know who he was sitting with. We do know we were on speaker probably. Right. Probably. And so w you know, it was the first time, I think you cried in front of your parents I think twice in your life, you've cried in front of them as an adult.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you were crying to your dad trying to plead with him, please understand. I don't think it's a good idea for me to come for us to come for the girls to come for us to come. And he basically said that you're a disappointment and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm very disappointed in you is what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">he said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm very disappointed in you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so, okay. You know, we immediately knew hurt people hurt, you know, he's in a lot of pain, but he's just the kind of person also that has no filter. That he could have a little bit of Asperger's maybe that was never diagnosed. I mean, just the word this man, the way he speaks is quite offensive, racially on all levels.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For me, like it's really hard to have a conversation. Like the patriarchy is strong with this man, as well as racial issues from his perspective. Um, so w whatever, then we felt like, okay, here we are. Again, once again, the outcasts of a family, we have been there before. This is why there was a big rift with us in the, in the past.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's like, wow, here we go again. Um, so dealing with all this and. Uh, another thing I want to say that was brought up through this whole story was, have you ever had a friend that speaks about you in not the greatest of ways? I think we all have, we all have had the feeling of people talking behind your back, and there are friends who do that constantly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you always know when you meet people they know, when they all look at you, you see the hatred from their eyes and these people don't even know you. They've never spoken to you, but you can tell an instant the first time they actually physically lay eyes on you that, oh wow, this person has preconceived notions of who they think I am.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that happens a lot with your dad's friends. Your family friends that have never met us, but when they do, you can see that judgment all over them. And it's not my imagination guys. Like you can tell, wow, there's hate or there's I don't know. The only word I can think of is hate. W what, what would it be? Do you know what I'm talking about, Matt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> absolutely. Absolutely. And so much of it is. Um, because they do talk because they express themselves because they live in both and that's just it. What other perspective do they have? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> When </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we talk we, we give our perspective and another person's perspective. I've always done that when I was in therapy as a teenager, I always gave my family's perspective first.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I said my perspective, but that's how I roll. That's how I do it. And, you know, once again, assumptions, I assume most people are the same way. I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So. All right, so we fly down. Matt's mom passed away, guys. We fly down, get everything taken care of where we're there. We're there. We're suited up in our best clothes. And I mean, we didn't have best clothes, but we bought best clothes. Elle and Allegra were in suits. I was in a suit. You were dressed up, shoes, shined.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Allegra was wearing a 16 piece suit. You know, the, the suit, the vest, the jacket, the trousers, the tie, the pocket handkerchief. The coat, the whole thing. Totally beautiful. Elle was in a suit. I was in a suit totally like respectable, respectful. We're standing there. We're at the funeral outside. And before we walk to the actual church, we're walking across the parking lot and I look inside the.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was like on the outskirts of the church, there was a room or something before you go into the chapel area. And there was a man in the dark doorway guys. I don't know how to describe this to you, but I felt like I was watching the "Days of Our Lives" soap opera, because this guy was just kind of like staring at us cross, cross the parking lot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I said to myself, please, God, don't, don't let that be the preacher or the priests, whatever the, they call them and that particular religion of that church. And, um, I'm like, he can't be it because he felt guys I've had Tourette's about this for ever since we came back home like turrets, and I'm afraid to say the things that I actually said describing this person, because I don't want to offend anybody but sloppy</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">was one of the words that's in there describing this person and unceremonial, um, it was just weird and the way he was glaring at us, I'm like, okay, well, it's probably my imagination. So we kept walking. I'm holding onto you guys. We're holding hands and we stand, we, we saw your, your sister and she said, don't go in there yet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay, fine. We're going to be out. Um, it was an open casket and they're like, you she's like don't, don't just don't I'm like, okay, no, we're not attached to the physical. We don't need to see that. You know what I mean? Like, I it's it's okay. It's not necessary. It's not necessary because we still feel her. I, I was dreaming about her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've been, you know, we're, we're still, we don't because again, because of the experience that we have had in our lives, we try to not focus on the physical that we don't think that there's a separation. And we try to hold onto that, especially after what happened with you, Matt. So we're standing outside, we're greeting people that are coming in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People are kind of ignoring us. And again, whatever, it's not about us, it's about everybody else. Right. So we're not going to take anything personally until that priest or whatever he is. What do you call him in that religion? Pastor, the pastor comes, I'm like, oh my God, it is him. That's the guy who's heading this whole thing up fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And um, he says, hello to everyone ignores us. And then he mad dogs. What is, what does mad dog mean? We always use that term. I really don't know what it means. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, stare down with almost, you can feel, you can feel the ground. Now, if, when it's with a person, you can't hear the ground, but you feel it like the bearing of the teeth and the, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so it's a term that we use when we go out in public.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sometimes we can feel that with people and we always use the term mad dogging. He's mad dogging me, or this person mad dogged me. So he began mad dogging our kids. He looked at Allegra, which is our youngest. Right. And in her full on respectable suit and tie that she was wearing all adorable. Adorable. Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She's all girly, but she's all like, that's her style. That's Elle's style, you know, that's kinda my style too right now. And so mad dogged us just wouldn't even look at us in the eyes, just looked at our suits up and down. Like he was smelling, foul something. Like smelling something bad. Didn't even say, hello, he knew your name, whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I'm speeding it up. We're at the ceremony we're sitting in the front row and, hespoke and spoke and spoke. And then when it came down to talking about your mom's kids, of course, he gets to you, he's like, oh, what's your name, mark? Uh, uh, he, he said two M names But Matt I'm like, okay guy, I know, you know his name, what is that about?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anyway, it was just, it felt sloppy to me. And then when he was done, he came towards us. He had to cross our path. So I said to him, thank you for the service. He wouldn't look at me and he kinda, he mumbled something and he walked on like, wow. Okay. So that's our experience. Now, this pastor was that what you call him a pastor, the family loves him, which is great because they need someone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They need someone to be in their circle. Perfect. But like, this is what happens when you talk smack about people and even a pastor, should, you would think would have the grace and the love. Isn't that their work to be about love and embrace everyone and realize there are many perspectives to something and you are a grieving child as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Have the decency to look at us as human beings. I mean, and then as we're going all over the place, I'm like, is this a racial thing? Because obviously we're the darkest people here. Is it because my background is not Christian, I'm Jewish, what is it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What is it? What is anyway? And then I stopped myself and I thought, you know what? Let it go. This is about these people. They're all in pain. Even the pastor, obviously, because he doesn't have the capacity for love. And so we were sitting there and behind us is the church and all the people that are in it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I swear to you all I kept hearing was whispering. Cause you know, everybody whispers in church, but it was a weird whisper. And because of our situation, because of our, like so much gossip about us in particular, like. You and me, Matt and the girls. And because we're so different, we're an interracial family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We were on the outs with the family for a few years. And I'm sure everyone got to hear about that from only their perspective. Like we were just rotten kids that did them wrong. God knows. I don't know. But like I turned to Elle and all I have to do is just look at the kids and they know that I'm looking at them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So they always look at me like, yes... We communicate through our eyes and we had our masks on and everything. So I look it Elle and I said two words, the whispering. And she looked at me and she, I could tell she was smiling and she's like church gossip.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like baby girl. Yeah. So it's not just me. Like we could feel, you know, the whispering was, um, it was intense and it's intense to have your back to it. And there's nothing you can do, but sit with your back to that. You're very vulnerable to have your back against the enemy. , so that's what happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we just want to talk about the fact that hurt people, hurt. Watch out when people make things about themselves. The sloppiness, the judgment that people hold, the inability to hold ceremony.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We go through life. Everything is ceremonial; making a cup of coffee is ceremonial, making food is ceremonial. Everything. Death is a ceremony birth as a ceremony. Oh, weddings are a ceremony. We've talked about our wedding ceremony and how beautiful it was, but how there was a brawl in the midst of it, two brawls and how people take the opportunity to use ceremony as a means of retaliation, as a means to letting out all the garbage out and flinging it around like you're at the zoo trapped in a cage.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? Matt is just staring at me. I have no idea what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">he's thinking. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm just letting her go, folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm almost done. I'm almost done, but you know, having the grace for understanding, of a pain other than your own</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">not holding on so much to the physical. Just let it go. Let go of the past harms let go of the preconceived notions that people have on you. It's not yours to hold on to just let it go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I do not accept delivery, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right? People giving you gifts. You don't have to accept it. You can say thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, you don't have to take it. I'm just thinking just the small amount of time that we experienced what we experienced at this particular ceremony. I felt like it was a really important for me to talk today to you all about when people express disappointment in you, be it, you're not the sex that they wanted you to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not living the life they have planned out. You don't match anything that resembles their life. You have a sexual orientation that doesn't match the church's idea. God knows the list is infinite. I want you to know that you're not alone, that we all receive that kind of judgment from other people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's really incredible to me. I love all religions. I do. I studied all religions. I respect them all to a point when they start misbehaving and saying what God deems acceptable. That's just man's perspective, man. The patriarchal perspective;</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the human physical form, the limited view of life perspective. I'm here to let you know, please remember the beautiful light that you are and that's it. Matt, what do you want to say? I may jump in there again, by the way, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> uh, see, versus me my experience with the whole thing, because I grew up Lutheran, um, And I, I always carry myself around in a little bubble and I always talk about my theory of the onion and how there's so many layers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, you know, I only present outer most, very tough layers of the onion. So my experience was completely different. I didn't hear people gossiping. I didn't, I wasn't focused on that. I was focused on what was actually going on. And, you know, ignoring everything else and, you know, that's, maybe that's just a defense mechanism and maybe that's just, who knows, who cares. To me, it wasn't about any aspect of anything and other people's judgment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was about the ceremony. It was about the experience. It was about the grief. It was about the, it was about my mom. It wasn't about these random people. I don't care really don't care. And honestly, don't care. So that's me, but just be careful with your words out there folks. Cause the problem is, is my dad said you are a disappointment, not that very disappointing or I'm disappointed that you're not coming.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He said you are a disappointment. Because that's his attempt to define my entire being versus defining an action. So just be careful, be careful at work. I was told very early on by somebody who wasn't particularly wise, but God, he nailed this one. You never say, you know, Bad. You say the work you did today was bad because it's inherently different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not ascribing value to the person you're ascribing value to the work the person produces. It's entirely different. So yeah, don't say you're a disappointment. It's just wrong. And yeah. It's funny. I thought the show today would be all about ceremony, but no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, no, it, it, I just had to give the background info.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I know I was just, it should be about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> seven. It was a lot more focused on what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ceremony is. Let's get into ceremony. What is ceremony? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, ceremony is in this. Ceremony is an action performed only formally with no deep significance. That's one of the definitions. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Are you kidding? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's one of the definitions of that's one of the definitions it's like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is a horrible, wrong inaccurate definition. Once again, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> what it's a conventional social gesture or act of courtesy. Hmm. So shaking hands as a ceremony. It doesn't mean necessarily mean anything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> See anything that's written by the patriarchy for me again, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's like a second, third definition. Come on. All </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not the first </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> definition. Go ahead. And just, I was very focused on what ceremonies are and that kind of, to me, it kind of broke into kind of three, three basic ceremonies, opening ceremonies, closing ceremonies, and interestingly. And it's probably the better term for it, but I just describe it as like the tea ceremony, Japanese tea ceremony, because it's, it's its own thing versus an opening ceremony and opening ceremony for us is like a birth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It can be, you know? Um, and, and we get into sticky, tricky stuff because there's an opening and closing all at once when you graduate. From, you know, a school because you're closing this and maybe opening and you are opening something else. So that's where things get difficult. And of course there's opening ceremonies for, you know, stores.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's typically not closing ceremonies for stores, but you know, the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> reason that that's a ceremony </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> doesn't count</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes it does...75% off yay!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yay. Anyway. And that's just kind of where I was coming to it from. I mean, there there's some ceremonies have deep significance, but typically that deep significance is invested by the people who are doing it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like a baseball game has an opening center. Dun dun da and a lackluster, I think closing ceremony, but the opening ceremony, they announced the players and maybe the players come out on the field. It's been a while since I've been to a baseball game, but it's certainly a football, they do this and then a closing ceremony, you know, thank you for coming folks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Bye bye. But, um, you know, Yeah. Again, the investment is from the people involved the participants, and if you're there to gossip, then you're going to have a action performed only formerly with no deep significance, right? If you choose that, then that's what you're going to have. Now me, I had a lot deeper of a significance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The pastor not withstanding because yeah, he was sloppy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Everything is ceremonial. For example, when we give gifts or when we receive gifts, we don't just hear, well, I guess tearing of a present is ceremonial too, but like with us, Matt, the girls, and I will get a present and will meticulously slowly open it without hurting the wrapping. And we first Marvel in the shape of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, we hold that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I got to guess what it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then we, we like look at different angles of it and we say, thank you many times. We don't just tear into it. But if that's your ceremony, that's perfectly great. This is our way of ceremony with a present. Well, I guess anything you do is what I'm trying to say is ceremonial.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everything should be done with reverence, with thoughts , with, mindfulness, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> what everything you do should be mindful. Because the other thing I wanted to talk about is, so my best friend told me from the beginning that I should go, I should go. I should go. He didn't say he said, I think you'll be sad if you don't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think if there's any unfinished business, you should, you should go. And I heard him and I made sure he understood that I heard him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But he let it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And again, this is his perspective. He would have been sad not to go. He chooses to live life the way he does, because his way of ceremony completely different than ours. Right. Right. And it's like, I was trying to equate it to in a lighthearted way, like the prom, everyone always said go to the prom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't go. And I always knew in my heart, no, I will not regret. I don't want to go. And because the whole society was like telling me, Fawn, you need to go to the prom, you will regret it for forever. So I got, I paid money. I had my hair done. I paid money.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I got a dress. I paid money to, you know, pitch in to this big limo with my friends, you know, all this stuff. And the whole time. I could've used this money. Cause you know, first of all, you guys know my story, but like I was on my own right after graduation, I was on my own, getting myself to college, paying for my own college, paying for my own rent, everything I'm like, wow, I could've used this money for that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I didn't have a good time at prom because for the same reason I didn't want to go because first of all, high school was not fun. Why would I go to a big, expensive thing at night? You know, deep in my heart, I knew what was correct for me. It wasn't my ceremony, it's other people's ceremony. And it's other people's idea of what ceremony should be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And that was a great lesson for me. It was financially expensive, but it was also spiritually, a very Expensive lesson to learn. You know, society could be telling you this, but if you know, in your heart, if you know, in your soul, what is right for you, you need to go with that. So I went to the prom, I realized I was right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I shouldn't have gone, but I learned that. And I'm grateful for that lesson. However much I paid for it, it was worth it for me to gain that understanding, that society could be telling you what's right. But you know, what is right and correct for your life. And that's my message.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you want to go on with ceremony? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm good. Follow your heart folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're a good person. You are a good person just because you don't live life the way people expect it of you don't let that hurt you. Don't let that make you feel less than. You are not less than. You are an amazing light in the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Usually when people express disappointment, really everything comes to how they feel about themselves, how they feel about their circumstances in life, because think about it when you're really at peace, when you are good with your life and someone does something that is not in sync with how you live.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you disappointed in that person? Really? You kind of let it go and you would have compassion for that person. while saying to yourself, wow, they don't see it the way I see it. They don't maybe have my perspective and that's it. You don't stomp on the person and say that they are less than, it's just a different perspective.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And especially as a friend or as a parent to have the capacity, to just be good with your own life and your own decisions and respect other people's decisions and not let it hurt you. Much like I'm telling you do not let the actions of the ones that are disappointed, hurt you and dim the lights that is you and your life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm, as I'm saying this, I'm kind of hoping that you all are still our friends and you're not looking at me like I'm some evil person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But again, you've got to let go of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that aspect, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but I'm just telling you how I feel anyway. I know, I know because I, I do, I do want approval. We all do. And it hurts when we don't get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It hurts when people don't understand our choices. Yes, that is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> true. That is true. And I guess it's more baked into my DNA, certainly with regard to parental units and parental social structures like church for me to have a nice thick skin around it and not worry about it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's just it though. It's an outer layer skin and deep down, I know you, you have a kind, a gentle heart</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's very sensitive, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that's true. But it never gets there. It never does </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> honestly. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean, yeah. Okay. Maybe it's stung for a second, but. God, he has told me I'm a disappointment, any number of times. And you know, I can either choose to curl up in a ball or I can choose to be magnificent and I'd much rather be magnificent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that, that just, it doesn't just go for parents, but that's where friendship starts. It's how we're raised by our families. And how we are grown, how we grow within families and how we're treated in families is the setup for how we treat our friendships out there in the world. I'm letting you know friends that you are magnificent and you are loved and you are a great light and even a greater light.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you're living life in a way that most people are not, if you're living life to a tune that you have, created, you're making beautiful music and people may not understand it. They may not understand how to dance to it, but guaranteed, they will just keep going. And you'll find us. You'll find ones that can groove with you and understand and respect you and can appreciate your style of music that is you. That's it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I do wish though, because I don't curse on the air that you could have heard all that I said yesterday, it felt good. It felt good to just release it and be so blasphemous because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in the traditional sense of the word, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> suppose, Well, I w I didn't say anything about God. I just said something about some sloppy person that was putting on some garb.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's supposed to be a representative of, you know, it's ridiculous. It is just,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like I said, you know what? Let's do a whole series on the art of the ceremony, because I mean, I'm not Lutheran, but the whole time I was like, let me up there. I would like to hold a ceremony. Let me, do you know what I mean? Like really? This is your job, man. Wow. Anyway, I hope this is one reason. I'm glad that your family doesn't know</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we have a podcast. Oh dear. I hope they haven't Googled this. And if you have. If you're listening. We love you so much. Thank you for listening, please let us know what you think. Reach out to our friendly world podcast.com. Talk to you in a few days. We love you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Careful with your, with, with saying you are, anything and accepting don't accept.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Words, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">have power. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, they do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Good and bad. Love you. Talk to you later. Be well, bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/326b717f-f9f4-418b-853f-8cb0242f0319/The-Ceremonies-of-Life-and-the-Disappointed-Friend.mp3" length="40961798"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[It was about the ceremony. It was about the experience. It was about the grief. It was about the, it was about my mom. It wasn't about these random people. I don't care really don't care. And honestly, don't care. So that's me, but just be careful with your words out there folks. Cause the problem is, is my dad said you are a disappointment, not that very disappointing or I'm disappointed that you're not coming.
He said you are a disappointment. Because that's his attempt to define my entire being versus defining an action. So just be careful, be careful at work. I was told very early on by somebody who wasn't particularly wise, but God, he nailed this one. You never say, you know, Bad. You say the work you did today was bad because it's inherently different.
You're not ascribing value to the person you're ascribing value to the work the person produces. It's entirely different.
This episode is about the friends who are disappointed; the people you can't please, and how to follow your own guidance in life.
 
TRANSCRIPT
Fawn: I have things on my mind, and I don't want to lose it because yesterday I said, let's talk about this on the show with, with, with the outbursts that I have been having that I was holding in for a few days. So let's get going before I lose my nerve or just lose it, like whatever. I don't know.
Um, all right. If you're about a quick, hello, you're bound to disappoint everybody at some point. So don't worry about. When people say they're disappointed in you, that disappointed friend, not only that today is not about the disappointing friend or, um, well, maybe disappointing friend that could be you.
We're going to use ourselves as an example to talk about what we're talking about today to really convey the message out there that you're bound to disappoint others in life. Okay. It has very little to do with you is, is my understanding, because I'll tell you the whole thing and we're going to use ourselves as the example.
Matt is leaning back and kind of bracing himself because it's mostly about him today. Um, bear with me. So it's not just the disappointed friend. It is the self-absorbed friends, the distraught friend, the born. Okay. I'm going to put this in quotes, "born of an older generation" friend, the "stuck in the old way" friend. Here we go. So, like I said, living life, living your authentic life, living, what you think is right for you and your immediate surroundings from your perspective, no one else can see your perspective, but you, so when you make decisions based on that, and it's not to say that you don't you're, uh, you're not
caring about other people or other situations, you know, most of us are. And that's what makes some decisions so gut wrenching, that's why certain situations in life are so hard. And you waste a lot of time going back and forth because you do see the other perspective, but no one very few people, especially these days have the capacity to put themselves in your shoes and really understand where you're coming from to have compassion, not only for themselves, but for you and why you're making the decisions that you're making.
Saying that that's one of the reasons why people get disappointed when you realize really you are responsible for your life, you are responsible for the decisions that you make. You are responsible for seeing your perspective and you have to live by that. And there are consequences. So what does that really mean?
]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:42:40</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Compliment - Compliment vs Complement]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Apr 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-the-compliment-compliment-vs-complement</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-the-compliment-compliment-vs-complement</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>How can a compliment open the doors to friendship or even save someone's life? We discuss in this episode of "The Art of the Compliment" as we understand the ways to establish joy, kindness, and sincerity and see how a compliment is an invitation to a beautiful friendship. What is the difference between COMPLIMENT and COMPLEMENT? We discuss this question and much more.</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you complete me Hello? Hello. Hello. Welcome back. Are you ready for a very intense, not intense in a negative way, but an in depth topic, a topic I'm actually going to teach a course on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> super serious. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's not super serious, but it has a lot of moving parts and it's quite deep actually. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Would you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">it more nuanced?. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't like that word, but it's the art of the compliment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Much like when you come into our home and all of the different homes we've had since the big house we used to own that, you know, through the pitfalls of society, went to hell and ever since then, we've been so gunshy. Ugh, gunshy. We've been so resistant on owning property ever again because of what happened in the financial crisis some years ago, that is, seems to be happening again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But whatever, we've moved a lot since then, and it's never been a place that's been ours, it's been some rentals and some of them have been ugly, depressing, just ugly , gray. It started with the first apartment we had after we lost the house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it was Valentine's day. We've said this story before. Sorry, but quick refresher. It was Valentine's day. Matt had this job with this horrible person there that was stressing him out so much. It was awful. It was horrible. It was Valentine's day. And. I was teaching our little, little, little girls and I decided, all right, let's do an art project.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We cut hundreds of hearts out of different kinds of paper, different colors, everything. And then I got like sewing thread and I attached them to the hearts and I hung them on the ceiling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I taped them on the ceiling in the entryway. So when Matt came home, he had to walk through this hall of hearts. So many hearts and they were low enough where his forehead would get touched by a heart walking throug...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[How can a compliment open the doors to friendship or even save someone's life? We discuss in this episode of "The Art of the Compliment" as we understand the ways to establish joy, kindness, and sincerity and see how a compliment is an invitation to a beautiful friendship. What is the difference between COMPLIMENT and COMPLEMENT? We discuss this question and much more.
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: you complete me Hello? Hello. Hello. Welcome back. Are you ready for a very intense, not intense in a negative way, but an in depth topic, a topic I'm actually going to teach a course on 
[00:00:14] Matt: super serious. 
[00:00:16] Fawn: It's not super serious, but it has a lot of moving parts and it's quite deep actually. 
[00:00:22] Matt: Would you 
 it more nuanced?. 
[00:00:23] Fawn: I don't like that word, but it's the art of the compliment.
[00:00:32] Matt: Oh, dear. 
[00:00:32] Fawn: Much like when you come into our home and all of the different homes we've had since the big house we used to own that, you know, through the pitfalls of society, went to hell and ever since then, we've been so gunshy. Ugh, gunshy. We've been so resistant on owning property ever again because of what happened in the financial crisis some years ago, that is, seems to be happening again.
But whatever, we've moved a lot since then, and it's never been a place that's been ours, it's been some rentals and some of them have been ugly, depressing, just ugly , gray. It started with the first apartment we had after we lost the house.
it was Valentine's day. We've said this story before. Sorry, but quick refresher. It was Valentine's day. Matt had this job with this horrible person there that was stressing him out so much. It was awful. It was horrible. It was Valentine's day. And. I was teaching our little, little, little girls and I decided, all right, let's do an art project.
 We cut hundreds of hearts out of different kinds of paper, different colors, everything. And then I got like sewing thread and I attached them to the hearts and I hung them on the ceiling.
I taped them on the ceiling in the entryway. So when Matt came home, he had to walk through this hall of hearts. So many hearts and they were low enough where his forehead would get touched by a heart walking throug...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Compliment - Compliment vs Complement]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>How can a compliment open the doors to friendship or even save someone's life? We discuss in this episode of "The Art of the Compliment" as we understand the ways to establish joy, kindness, and sincerity and see how a compliment is an invitation to a beautiful friendship. What is the difference between COMPLIMENT and COMPLEMENT? We discuss this question and much more.</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you complete me Hello? Hello. Hello. Welcome back. Are you ready for a very intense, not intense in a negative way, but an in depth topic, a topic I'm actually going to teach a course on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> super serious. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's not super serious, but it has a lot of moving parts and it's quite deep actually. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Would you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">it more nuanced?. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't like that word, but it's the art of the compliment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Much like when you come into our home and all of the different homes we've had since the big house we used to own that, you know, through the pitfalls of society, went to hell and ever since then, we've been so gunshy. Ugh, gunshy. We've been so resistant on owning property ever again because of what happened in the financial crisis some years ago, that is, seems to be happening again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But whatever, we've moved a lot since then, and it's never been a place that's been ours, it's been some rentals and some of them have been ugly, depressing, just ugly , gray. It started with the first apartment we had after we lost the house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it was Valentine's day. We've said this story before. Sorry, but quick refresher. It was Valentine's day. Matt had this job with this horrible person there that was stressing him out so much. It was awful. It was horrible. It was Valentine's day. And. I was teaching our little, little, little girls and I decided, all right, let's do an art project.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We cut hundreds of hearts out of different kinds of paper, different colors, everything. And then I got like sewing thread and I attached them to the hearts and I hung them on the ceiling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I taped them on the ceiling in the entryway. So when Matt came home, he had to walk through this hall of hearts. So many hearts and they were low enough where his forehead would get touched by a heart walking through. And so when you come in, you're touched by these hearts and when you're leaving to go out in the world, once again, you're kissed by these hearts a reminder, if you will, of how much we love each other or love, you know, what I'm talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. So a compliment is the same thing. It's to remember the joy. It's to remember the kindness it's it's too. It's like when you come over to our house, besides the hearts guaranteed, you'll be offered something immediately. You're not even inside yet. And we're offering you a beverage of some kind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">That's what we do. And I think that's what the compliment is that I think for me, that's what the compliment is. It is the offering to a friend. In a relationship it could be, the relationship could be a friend. It could be any situation, but a genuine compliment is what offers nourishment for you to welcome someone in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we were looking at the etymology of course, of the compliment. And it's very interesting because I want to say, you know, you complete me and that's basically what it means. So a compliment, let's start with a noun. It's an act or expression of civility, respect or regard an act or expression of civility.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now here's where the Johnson definition comes in, which is really messed up. And I think that's why people have so much trouble with the compliment because that is the act or expression of civility usually understood to include some hypocrisy. And it means less than it declares. I think that's why people, one reason why people don't compliment, because it feels so disingenuine that it's just, you're just sucking up to someone to get something, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or they used to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">(Matt laughs) It can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> be, It can feel that way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, sure. And it's also like words are so misused or overly used. So once you hear a certain words, you're like "eeek" , how to harness that truth in everything. All right. And how it totally opens up this beautiful gate to this beautiful relationship, beautiful friendship, and how you can complete me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. So in the 1570s, compliment is "that which fills up or complete" by 19th century, the meaning extended to an expression of praise or admiration, meaning a present or favor bestowed a complimentary gift. This is from 1722. Now in the 1690s, it became a way to manifest kindness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Here's how I don't know about other languages right now. Like as far as etymology goes and like really getting into things, but here's where it gets really. Um, like I was talking about it. It's complicated. It's complicated socially, but check this out. So one little tiny difference of a letter in the word compliment, changes the meaning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So compliment with an I C O M P L I M E N T it's a noun or verb it's to give, you know, it's like to give a compliment or the act of complimenting; I'm complimenting your cooking skills or I'm complimenting a job well done. Right. But if you use the other word complement, it sounds exactly the same, but it's spelled differently different meaning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this other one is with an E. C O M P L E M E N T has a different meaning. Complement: this one with an E means, bringing to perfection, having no deficiency, perfect in kind or quality, finished, ended, concluded. Why are you laughing at me? There's another one. It's also a musical term. It's also a mathematical term.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ooh. You tell me the mathematics. Why don't you try to remember it while I try, while I explained the musical term, which is from the circus circus, 16 hundreds, full quality or number, full amount, musical sense of simple interval that completes an octave from another simple interval. That's probably the same as math though.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Math </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">is music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I just remember. Yes. Uh, I just remember something called the two's compliment, but I don't know what it is. I'm terrible that way. I D I don't remember. It's, uh, I th I think it's a series of numbers, but it's irrelevant. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">have our phones here. We should look it up. Go get your phone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What is that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, anyway, so, much like offering a beverage to someone, I think a compliment is a way to welcome someone in. It's to bring joy. It's to bring kindness into a situation. And usually I noticed this about you, Matt. And when we lived in Washington state, we would do this quite often where, well, first of all, you started this because you have the ability to look at someone and notice things that a person does that will go completely undetected by most people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's the martial arts skill in you where you can notice the trifles that are so invisible to most people, 99.9% of the people and you stop and you trip on it. And then you'll usually come to me and describe what you saw and, um, and I'm blown away. I'm like, how could I have missed that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You were right. Oh my God. So that's what, that's the art of the compliment. And that's why I'm saying it's so complicated. Cause it's kind of martial artsy. You have to notice things. Why are you roll your, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I wouldn't say it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">martial artsy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">is because it's noticing things around </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, certainly I think step one is absolutely paying attention and you should always pay attention, especially as those people around you who mean something to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">or bad,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but even if they, if, even if you don't know them, most of these cases that I'm remembering throughout the time we've been together, we don't know these people and you notice all these remarkable things that they do or the way they are. And then, so you would point them out and then we would run over there and praise that quality and the person would get so happy because they wouldn't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What happened is they received. What we all look for is validation of who we are that we're seen and we're appreciated. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And, and that's just it. I mean, I'm seeing constantly through messaging on, you know, TV and other media is we all have this deep seated need, not a want, but a need to be seen at this point.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And unfortunately, the way we are seen is this manufactured way of being seen. If you look at most actresses in movies and television, they all look the same. They do. And when one actress comes in that has a completely different look and she becomes a mega superstar, then everyone else starts getting the plastic surgery or whatever, to look like that, the hairstyle to look like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when we compliment someone, it feels like we're complementing a job well done on achieving this look or achieving this manufactured status quo kind of a thing. And that's not what I'm talking about complimenting. I'm complimenting the core of things, the true essence of something, not the obvious hairstyle, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">not the obvious, um, job well done, right? Things that go unseen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I would never compliment somebody on their looks. I mean, I may compliment somebody on like a piece of clothing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or no, I, I compliment and looks all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I tend </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to compliment </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">actions. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Maybe it's harder for you to compliment on looks because you're a man, but I feel it's a, it's a.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Responsibility of mine to compliment someone's looks especially women, but I'm not going to do it in like the misogynistic, uh, approval of society kind of way. You know, I go for, I go for the depth of it, like the true beauty of a person that requires an inner and then is that is obviously showing on the outer is what I'm saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyway, but for example, like I remember like we would, we would just, you know, like simple things, like, I'm just trying to give you examples of like compliments, but like things that go unnoticed. Can you think of something that goes unnoticed? Because we we've done it so much and I, but we haven't been out in a while out and about honestly, that it's, it's hard to come up with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactl instances of how we would do it to give you examples of this. But I think, I think, you know what I'm saying? I think, you know, the feeling of something genuine, right? I mean, like we would go out to eat and someone amazing would bring us our food and the way they graced us with kindness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hospitality. It was a beautiful human interaction. Right. And we made it a point when the person didn't even know, we would go back to that restaurant and emphatically explain to the owner of that restaurant, what an amazing human being that person is. Not just that they did a great job. You are so lucky to have that human being, working with you in that business.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. So that's a compliment. Right? Right. But we would also tell the person while we were in their presence when they were bringing us a drink or food, we would exclaim our, good fortune and being in their company and being so thankful they brought us this amazing food. Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But we would also notice anything about them and like talk about it. Right. That's a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">compliment. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I got ya. Look. Yeah. That's that, to me, that's the key, you know, there's a couple keys to, complimenting somebody, you know, obviously paying attention, uh, obviously being truthful and genuine cause saccharin compliments or icky, uh, being super specific.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, , perhaps the most important, none, not necessarily the most important, but one of the other interesting kind of aspects of it is, mix it up as far as, um, you know, if somebody hears, you know, every day did it that, uh, I really like your dah, dah, dah, well, mix it up. Say, Y it's like, I like your shoes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, tell him why. I like those shoes. They're bold. And it's not even that hard. I mean, gang genuine well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. All right. Well, but then you're complimenting a shoe rather than the person I know. I know, I know I it's, it's complicated, but if it's truly heartfelt, the shoe is the person's personality. Right. So that's okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But there there's so many ways. There's so many ways to open this door and the art of the compliment is a beautiful gift. And there are so many ways we can explore this and this is what we're going to get into. And this thing , I'm putting together, but today, just for today, I want that to be the forefront of our consciousness is what we're noticing out there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What are we noticing about the people in front of us. You may not even know that person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, what are the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">good things we're noticing? Cause that's just, it it's, it's not about merely noticing who a person is, what a person does, et cetera, et cetera. it's really trying hard to focus on the good aspects and because what we focus on grows, the more good we see in others, the more good we see in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">ourselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I mean, obviously this is, I think why our culture in America especially is under so much duress is because there is no genuine respect. when we lose love and respect for each other, this is how we finally die. That's a quote from, that's a quote from Maya Angelou. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Ouch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But it's true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm not saying it's not true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just saying ouch, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but like, it's also a way to diffuse a situation. Like I remember having a conversation with your dad years ago, he was still pissed off at you years decades still pissed off and still he's, he's always pissed off at you, but like, I mean, were you a teenager when you bought your truck, you bought a Toyota.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I bought a Mazda. I wasn't even smart enough to buy a Toyota. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, actually the guy at the Toyota dealership pissed me off, so I couldn't buy a Toyota and, you know, shame on shame on him, shame on me. But yeah. Yeah, nevermind. Anyways, I bought them. Yeah. Right. Exactly. I bought a Mazda truck.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">he was still pissed off at you. He was still upset with you. Totally upset with you decades later because you did not buy American. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Of course we have, we have a Japanese car now, too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so, so he was still holding onto that, of course. And he was getting all heated and loud when I was talking to him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And. All of a sudden it happened naturally. So I'm not, I don't want you to think that I was manipulating the situation. It happened naturally where I was like, wow, I'm not getting anywhere, anywhere with this conversation. He just wants to express how upset he is. And I think deep down in me, somehow I realized his, his point of anger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was beyond not buying American and his ideals of how life should be. It was that he wasn't heard. Right. You didn't follow his guidance. You didn't follow his way of living like everything about you, probably is in defiance of who he is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Wow. Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">well, if he chooses to project that way, that's fine. I certainly think I certainly owned that for some, some amount of time, but I've let that go hopefully, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but I think, okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe that's coming out of my mouth wrong. I'm not, I'm not trying to disrespect you or your dad, but I just noticed in a split second. Wow. He feels maybe invalidated. Do you know what I mean? Because you didn't do what he expected. Right? Right. And so in that split second kind of the validation invalidation thing that came up, all of a sudden these words came out of my mouth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was not, I w I did not anticipate to say anything like that because I was getting mad at him for being mad at you. But by the grace of something, these words came out of my mouth. And I said, I really think that I didn't even say, think I said, oh my goodness, you have been such a beautiful provider for your family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he just, everything changed. Everything changed. It was about providing for him. Well, for him, it was about, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that is one of his getting down to the core of the onion of who he is that is very important to him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And so, but it was a compliment and it was genuine. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And you noticed,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I noticed and maybe no one ever thanked him for that in that way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe. I don't know. I can tell you, is that fighting kind of conversation that was happening completely got turned around, right. By a compliment that was genuine. Right. Because I realized, oh my goodness, this man, his sole mission is in his family life is to make sure everyone is provided for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And everybody. Yeah. Everybody makes smart decisions and everybody is provided for, for sure. And, you know, even you just talking about that in a way of diffusing conflict, I always describe that we're both dealing, you know, certainly at work, we're both, we're both, uh, playing out the hand that we're dealt because sometimes you just end up in this naturally kind of combatitive situation with people and sometimes you can diffuse that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">by finding something that, you genuinely appreciate or like about that person. And one of the ways that I seek to diffuse these kinds of situations, where you just end up just conflicting with somebody is a explaining where your own head is at, so that they get a sense for where you're at and B before any weirdness has a chance to happen, because there are people who you will conflict with just kind of happens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, getting to know that person as a person. So that maybe you can lightening it you know, I've, I've been in, experiences, previous positions where I was working with somebody and he just drove me nuts all the time. I would say, Hey, what do you know about X? And he would say, oh yeah, I can help. I can help you with that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he couldn't. Drove me nuts, but we had talked beforehand and I had gotten a sense for who he was as a person. I didn't necessarily, you know, I didn't agree with his political affiliation. I didn't agree with his, um, really any aspect of his life, but we could still talk about things like I knew we loved this truck so we could talk about his truck and I knew he loved to do of all things</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">uh, he did sports. And he was very competitive doing it. And you know what, be interested a little bit in everything. So I would ask him questions about things like that. And I would find out interesting nuggets, but the fact that I would dig into that, it kept us from really exploding later and it kept, and it was because I paid attention </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and really the key to everything is paying attention </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to a lot of things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's definitely paying </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">attention</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> , but you have to pay attention. Yeah. Like we were looking at a I'm sorry, go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And you have to be genuine and sincere. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Um, there so many ways also to offer up a compliment to gift someone that. It comes in many ways. It doesn't necessarily have to be with words.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Although, one of my favorite words, sometimes when I don't feel like talking and, and, you know, because it's now a zoom culture, sometimes I'll just type in yay with an exclamation point, right. Or, you know, talking about praise. That's another way to compliment. I mean, just like applause. If you look at babies and they do something amazing, which they do at every day of their lives, because everything is new and like they're learning something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, everything is a major accomplishment. Learning how to swallow a blueberry properly is a major accomplishment. Remember the first time our baby ate solid food, not milk. We invited the neighbors over</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and this was on Bainbridge Island where friendship was very obscure. So they were looking at us like what?! We're like, yay. She ate blueberries, you know, like they were not having it. They were like, whatever, but do you know what I mean? But like, so just applause is great, uh, to congratulate someone, you know, the word congratulate means to wish joy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is to wish joy. Amazing. You know, they're life, Is to be celebrated. I mean, even like we're going through a major hard times right now, you and I, and Elle and Allegra hard, like crying hard, but we're still able to enjoy and see the gifts in it. So no matter what's going on, right. You can, there is something to notice that is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of great amazement for everyone when you pay attention to it. Yes. Right. Um, but like, you know, a simple, thank you. Thank you. When it's heartfelt, when you're feeling it much like smiling, you can smile and just stretch your lips out and bare your teeth. That is scary folks. But if you're smiling and you're feeling something that is genuine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As simple as that, you don't have to go searching. You have to just access a feeling. There's so much, there's so much we can get into with the art of the compliment, but that's just, those are just a few things to wet your whistle. Is that a term to just get the, to prime, the pump, to, to start to initiate the whole process, opening the doors to</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">a whole other friendly aspect of our world is the art of the compliment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Now there is another aspect to complimenting and that is, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">A compliment is a conversation and we need to bear that in mind. Me personally. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Okay. So every single academy awards show, I think you're shown time and time again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How not to accept a compliment and receiving an award is receiving a compliment. Obviously the first thing they do is they thank everybody who worked with them and I get that and totally, yes, no quote unquote great movie is made without the support of a village. I get it. But where I go a little nutty is you can't say, oh my goodness, you're nominated for best picture.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How does that feel? You know, or, you know, and it's like, oh my God, it feels so amazing. But there's so many other people who, you know, so many other great movies. Why can't you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">just say, thank you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Women, especially when you compliment a woman, have you noticed that they'll turn it down immediately and then when you reinstate it, when you retell them, like, no, I'm serious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then it gets into a battle. Like they get upset and they're like, no, I'm like, whoa, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they immediately have hesitate </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">which is the worst part,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> they discount it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Sometimes, but sometimes they have to hesitate and then they have to find something to compliment on you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. This is not re gifting and gifting guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you get a gift, just be joyful about the gift. You don't have to send the person a gift immediately right back, it destroys the whole thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Obligation destroys compliments </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> obligation destroys everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It has a nasty habit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, yeah, like, yeah, except, oh, and also it brings me like accepting a compliment. That's another whole, that's another day. That's another big conversation. The art of accepting a compliment, which brings us to complimenting your own self. Right? Like we used to. Not we used to, we still do love listening to a certain comedian, but he would say, you know, he'll get up in the morning and he'll say, damn, I look good today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You look like all of five foot four today, you know? Yes. In my case, I look all of five feet tall today or, you know, just, wow. I did a good job here just to, in your, in your own spirit, in your own conversation to yourself in your own mind, how are ways you can compliment yourself? And why is it that we're so against doing that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're afraid to compliment ourselves. We're afraid to accept a compliment. What is that? Where did that come from? I shall investigate </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well in Australia, they talk about tall poppy syndrome where the tallest poppies are the ones that get plucked and put into flower arrangements . So the shorter poppies are the ones who get to live and the tall poppies are the ones that get pulled as it were.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that might play into that. But you know, for me, yeah some mornings I'm like, you know, I try and be more thankful for things. And in the process of being thankful, it makes me feel good. You know, there's, there's a certain endorphin release in giving someone a genuine compliment that they get and just saying, oh my goodness, thank you so much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Doesn't cut that in pieces, but saying, well, you know, really? Or, oh my goodness. Yeah. Look at your, um, um, um, um, shoes. They're very nice too. You're. You're you're cutting their ki man. You're like destroying their energy. Just accept </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Cutting ki. Reminds me high school guys. High school. There was a popular girl in our high school, like it was combat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the popular girl you may think of was not what you think of in movies. Like the popular girl. Yes, she was pretty, but she was like scary. Like she, she was violent and like, you know what I mean? She, ah, It was battle. It was like being in jail. Do you know what I mean? Like, there were certain people who would like just attack you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, but I remember I was standing there with someone I knew, and this is someone with a little mousy, you know, like it's a theme that plays throughout my educational career. Like I would be friends with someone that was very, very like weak or skinny or, you know, picked on. And so we were standing there together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This girl that was like very weak and skinny. Um, not that there's anything wrong with being skinny, but she was, I'm just saying she was very low key. Do you know what I mean? Her personality was low-key. She was quiet. Um, so here comes the popular girl and the friend I was standing next to, it was looking at the popular girl, the scary, popular girl, like scary as in like she'll shank you right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. And so she comes up to her like in her face, the popular girl to this quiet girl and is like, what are you looking at? Right. Fighting words. And so my friend so gently, and so like instinctively, like it just naturally came out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She immediately said, With like such, I was looking into her eyes while she was doing this because I was like, oh my God, because I already got trash pickup fighting with this popular girl, like a few months before I was like, oh my God, am I going to get more trash pickup in a second? Um, but so I was looking at her trying to figure out, oh my God, what's the next move.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But this girl like totally like her face. Totally like, um, Open, um, eyebrows, relaxed, everything, and just looked at her and said, I was looking at you, totally admiring you. I think you're really pretty. And this person, the popular girl, her mean demeanor, everything about her changed in an instant, because it was, it was a genuine compliment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sure everyone would tell her she's pretty. Cause she was pretty, she was the most popular girl in school, blah, blah, blah. But, but it was genuine, it disarmed this crazy situation. Right. But it was genuine. It wouldn't have worked </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">any other way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. And that's that's the key is genuineness. Yeah. As a matter of fact, my goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. High school, high school is a funny time. Isn't it? Yeah. I remember. Two compliments. I, I got one. I, I actually got one. Then I got second hand. And the first compliment I got was from a parent and they were like, oh my goodness your hair is like, so I don't know what was the word. It was like soft or clean or perfect or whatever it was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was sporting long hair in high school, so I was in trouble. And then the other compliment I got was through my mom actually, who heard it from the parent of somebody I was in class with. And they were like, yeah, Matt, Matt looks really tough and gruff, but he's a really good kid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you know, these, these are the things that stick with you because they're genuine because they weren't asked for because yeah, they were just, they were just lovely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and you never knew the best compliments are from strangers. You know, sometimes I have described the scene before I'm going to say it again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause it was, um, it was like a gift from an angel. I was at a grocery store parking lot, very crowded. And our kids were very little and it's, it's tough wrangling, a whole bunch of groceries going through like, um, you know, a certain, uh, A certain parking lot that I don't want to mention that certain people go to, to buy groceries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Their mentality is definitely very selfish. Right, right. And so maneuvering that. You know, people don't pay attention to how they're coming and going the way they're driving, the way they're pulling out of the parking lot. So when you're a mom and you're carrying all these groceries and you have two little kids who are like that, you're trying to wrangle and keep </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">safe in this environment, you know, so that was happening and I turned it into a song or something. I don't remember exactly what we were doing, but we started laughing. But at the same time, I was like holding everybody and kind of like, you know, describing the world around us that was kind of dangerous at the moment, but treating it like ha ha you know, like keeping it safe and fun.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Again, I don't remember exactly what it was, but this is what I do remember: when I reached the car and I opened the hatch to put this stuff in, as I was putting the stuff in and the kids were still like, kind of running wild and I was trying to hold them together towards me. This woman came up to me I had never met before and she gets in my face and she's like, and she said, I want to let you know what a great mother you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I paused, and I almost wanted to cry because you know, you don't always, most of the time you don't feel like a good mother. Right. Most of the time you feel guilty. Most of the time you feel like you're messing things up, you know, you said the wrong thing, you had the wrong tone. You should have been doing this while you were doing this other thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, all this is constantly going in your head and we were going through a really hard times back then. So, you know, once in a while I did yell at the kids, but every time I did apologize, you know what I mean? Like I made sure I never did what I did again, but I'm a human being. And the kids, you know, I would have talks with them, but I always felt bad, nonetheless, that I did maybe once in a while would lose my temper.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? Especially in a parking lot, which didn't happen that day. Right. But I, I do remember one time I did lose my mind in a parking lot because I got so scared that one of our kids was about to get run over by a car. I got scared. Okay. And I yelled. And so that's what I remembered when she said you're such a good mother.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want you to remember that. Like, it was prophetic that she said that to me. And I think she even described why she thought I was a good mother, but like I was in shock. Um, but it was heartfelt. I could tell. And she crossed the parking lot to tell me, cause I watched her go again, like cross to go back to her car.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, but. I don't know how long after that something bad happened. And you were in the hospital, we almost lost you. You almost died. So we were going through a lot. And so one day, um, at home we just had messed up neighbors. They were racist. They were mean they were nosy. You know, they never offered to help when they saw the ambulance has come and take you away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They just looked at it like they were watching a movie. Right, right. So, um, when things were okay, when you were safe, when you were okay, but you were still in the hospital. I was just mad at the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And then. Something happened. And I was, I came down to the little patio area that we had and there was like, um, a toy and I threw, I threw the toy. I threw it at the wind chime. Like it hit the wind chime. I didn't throw it on purpose. I was just trying to clean up and it hit this thing hit the wind chime.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it sounded like maybe like broken glass. I don't know. So long story short, the neighbor called the police. Right that I was abusing the children, which was not at all the case. The police came and I was in shock. I was like, what? And they were like, yeah, we heard that. Um, the neighbors think that you're doing something to the kids.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, what? And they're like, we're going to have to see the kids. I'm like, okay. So the kids were right there. The kids come in, all smiling and offering the cops sushi.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And literally the whole thing lasted not even 30 seconds. The cops were like, obviously this was a misunderstanding, um, have a good day. But that, to this day, that was years ago to this day. Anyone who knocks on her door I'm traumatized every day. But I always remember that compliment I got from that woman.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You're good. It was like an angel. She was, she specifically said, I want you to remember you're a good mom and that saves my life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sorry. So you'd never know. I think the most important compliments are the ones you give to strangers. So don't be afraid to whatever comes into your heart, you feel like saying, just do it because you'd never know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Definitely true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You never know how it could help someone. Can you close it out? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm not sure I can. Oh my goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a lot of emotions obviously circled around this, but just pay attention. Be truthful, be genuine, be specific is another good one. And when somebody gives you a compliment for goodness sake thank </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. You just have to say, thank you. And then you'll get used to it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Or like, thank you. You're so sweet or et cetera, but yeah, absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just be grateful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And don't learn from Hollywood. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What do you mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's an honor just to be nominated. Oh my goodness. No, just say, oh my goodness. Thank you so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And do it with a, a genuine heart with a gentleness. You know, I've heard this story about, um, oh, I'm blanking out on her name, a very famous Broadway actor, female.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">But she, at the end of her performance, you know how they throw roses, someone threw roses and it hit her on the head really hard. And it had thorns and everything. Cause she was still thankful for the roses, but like, it's kind of like the compliment. Make sure you point it a certain way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Don't try and beat somebody in the head.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Think about the velocity,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">all that. Anyway, I can't talk </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> my voice. Well, no. And that's another aspect of complimenting someone is don't leave it with something maybe left unsaid or even said, like, oh my goodness. She looks so youthful </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because you're not, you lost weight. Why. That's not a compliment folks. Okay. How about just you look </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway, I want to stop it here. Um, so be have that in your consciousness, the art of the compliment and, um, I mean, be thankful for just general term now, like, Ugh, but just, just have it be in your consciousness. What you notice, especially the things that go unnoticed, like mothers, all the things that mothers do go unnoticed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you could just point out one thing how amazing that is even you Matt. I love that in the morning, you just take care of stuff. Thank you. It's very thoughtful of you. I appreciate that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're welcome.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, like people were used to seeing every single day, day in and day out, especially people at work to compliment things that go unnoticed, look out for the things that go unnoticed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's it. We love you. Thank you for listening. Please go to our friendly world podcast.com. Is that it? I feel like we've had so many different websites, please reach out to us. Subscribe. Tell everyone what we're doing. Okay. Talk to you later. We love you. Thank you. Be well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[How can a compliment open the doors to friendship or even save someone's life? We discuss in this episode of "The Art of the Compliment" as we understand the ways to establish joy, kindness, and sincerity and see how a compliment is an invitation to a beautiful friendship. What is the difference between COMPLIMENT and COMPLEMENT? We discuss this question and much more.
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: you complete me Hello? Hello. Hello. Welcome back. Are you ready for a very intense, not intense in a negative way, but an in depth topic, a topic I'm actually going to teach a course on 
[00:00:14] Matt: super serious. 
[00:00:16] Fawn: It's not super serious, but it has a lot of moving parts and it's quite deep actually. 
[00:00:22] Matt: Would you 
 it more nuanced?. 
[00:00:23] Fawn: I don't like that word, but it's the art of the compliment.
[00:00:32] Matt: Oh, dear. 
[00:00:32] Fawn: Much like when you come into our home and all of the different homes we've had since the big house we used to own that, you know, through the pitfalls of society, went to hell and ever since then, we've been so gunshy. Ugh, gunshy. We've been so resistant on owning property ever again because of what happened in the financial crisis some years ago, that is, seems to be happening again.
But whatever, we've moved a lot since then, and it's never been a place that's been ours, it's been some rentals and some of them have been ugly, depressing, just ugly , gray. It started with the first apartment we had after we lost the house.
it was Valentine's day. We've said this story before. Sorry, but quick refresher. It was Valentine's day. Matt had this job with this horrible person there that was stressing him out so much. It was awful. It was horrible. It was Valentine's day. And. I was teaching our little, little, little girls and I decided, all right, let's do an art project.
 We cut hundreds of hearts out of different kinds of paper, different colors, everything. And then I got like sewing thread and I attached them to the hearts and I hung them on the ceiling.
I taped them on the ceiling in the entryway. So when Matt came home, he had to walk through this hall of hearts. So many hearts and they were low enough where his forehead would get touched by a heart walking throug...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:43:12</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Conversation and SEL (Social Emotional Learning)]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Apr 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-conversation-and-sel-social-emotional-learning</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-conversation-and-sel-social-emotional-learning</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We discuss the art of conversation as the basis for the art of friendship, as we share three main components for conversing (Invite Insight Incite). We explore social-emotional learning and how we can feel and dance together no matter how difficult the topic of conversation or the particular life situation we may be in.</p>
<p>#conversation, #Invite, #Invitation, #Insight, #Incite, #TheArtofConversation, #Social-emotionalLearning, #Theartoffriendship, #ESL</p>
<p>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">back to our friendly world, everyone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Reflecting on the art of friendship, we are starting a conversation on the art of conversation. I'm gonna start with some definitions. First, obviously conversation. Let's look at that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a noun the use of speech for informal exchange of views, ideas or information simple. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sounds like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you know, I always try to have conversation, but you really have to get a feel for what's going on and you have to get a feel for what the person is going through and where they stand in life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do they have a very strong core, a strong sense of self. I wanna say that previous generations didn't have that, or they didn't have that once they started experiencing a lot of other stresses, a lot of other things that would cause them to stretch, for example, having children or just, you know, Obviously with having children, it causes you to be thinking of other people and having your lives have this inter dance back and forth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just talking about this because everything you're going through with your family right now, right? Your mom is passing. People under duress or under stress.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Start misbehaving and there's no. Oh, here we go. Matt's going to start. Um, no, well, I'm keep it easy. The apologia starts coming in. So, you know, when you're speaking with someone, they don't hear what you're saying. When you speak to a crowd, when you're speaking to one person, they only can understand through a filtered process</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of their own experiences in life for them to understand what you're saying. So they're not hearing what you are saying. They're hearing only from their perspective. So for example, if they're used to looking at certain shades of blue all the time, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]&lt;...</span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We discuss the art of conversation as the basis for the art of friendship, as we share three main components for conversing (Invite Insight Incite). We explore social-emotional learning and how we can feel and dance together no matter how difficult the topic of conversation or the particular life situation we may be in.
#conversation, #Invite, #Invitation, #Insight, #Incite, #TheArtofConversation, #Social-emotionalLearning, #Theartoffriendship, #ESL
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome 
back to our friendly world, everyone. 
[00:00:03] Matt: Hello
[00:00:04] Fawn: Reflecting on the art of friendship, we are starting a conversation on the art of conversation. I'm gonna start with some definitions. First, obviously conversation. Let's look at that.
It's a noun the use of speech for informal exchange of views, ideas or information simple. Right? 
[00:00:25] Matt: Sounds like 
it. 
[00:00:26] Fawn: Well, you know, I always try to have conversation, but you really have to get a feel for what's going on and you have to get a feel for what the person is going through and where they stand in life.
Do they have a very strong core, a strong sense of self. I wanna say that previous generations didn't have that, or they didn't have that once they started experiencing a lot of other stresses, a lot of other things that would cause them to stretch, for example, having children or just, you know, Obviously with having children, it causes you to be thinking of other people and having your lives have this inter dance back and forth.
I'm just talking about this because everything you're going through with your family right now, right? Your mom is passing. People under duress or under stress.
Start misbehaving and there's no. Oh, here we go. Matt's going to start. Um, no, well, I'm keep it easy. The apologia starts coming in. So, you know, when you're speaking with someone, they don't hear what you're saying. When you speak to a crowd, when you're speaking to one person, they only can understand through a filtered process
of their own experiences in life for them to understand what you're saying. So they're not hearing what you are saying. They're hearing only from their perspective. So for example, if they're used to looking at certain shades of blue all the time, 
[00:02:08]<...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Conversation and SEL (Social Emotional Learning)]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We discuss the art of conversation as the basis for the art of friendship, as we share three main components for conversing (Invite Insight Incite). We explore social-emotional learning and how we can feel and dance together no matter how difficult the topic of conversation or the particular life situation we may be in.</p>
<p>#conversation, #Invite, #Invitation, #Insight, #Incite, #TheArtofConversation, #Social-emotionalLearning, #Theartoffriendship, #ESL</p>
<p>https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">back to our friendly world, everyone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Reflecting on the art of friendship, we are starting a conversation on the art of conversation. I'm gonna start with some definitions. First, obviously conversation. Let's look at that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a noun the use of speech for informal exchange of views, ideas or information simple. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sounds like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you know, I always try to have conversation, but you really have to get a feel for what's going on and you have to get a feel for what the person is going through and where they stand in life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do they have a very strong core, a strong sense of self. I wanna say that previous generations didn't have that, or they didn't have that once they started experiencing a lot of other stresses, a lot of other things that would cause them to stretch, for example, having children or just, you know, Obviously with having children, it causes you to be thinking of other people and having your lives have this inter dance back and forth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just talking about this because everything you're going through with your family right now, right? Your mom is passing. People under duress or under stress.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Start misbehaving and there's no. Oh, here we go. Matt's going to start. Um, no, well, I'm keep it easy. The apologia starts coming in. So, you know, when you're speaking with someone, they don't hear what you're saying. When you speak to a crowd, when you're speaking to one person, they only can understand through a filtered process</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of their own experiences in life for them to understand what you're saying. So they're not hearing what you are saying. They're hearing only from their perspective. So for example, if they're used to looking at certain shades of blue all the time, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> welcome, and to that show, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and then you come into. What do you mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Welcome to that show. I'm trying to say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">something. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We talked about how colors in different societies </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">are different. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But what I'm saying is if you're used to looking at a certain shade of blue as an example, right. It's just a total random example. And then I come in and I say, oh, I found a great blue jacket and you immediately go to the blue you're used to thinking about, but I found a blue that is not even in your reality. You're only capable of hearing and envisioning the blue that you know of and not the blue that I know of. So you have to get, you have to put all these things into perspective. I actually started thinking about this years ago, because when I worked with Horst, Horst Rechelbacher owner, the CEO of Aveda.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's one of the things he would say to the crowds all the time, he would give the most amazing talks. Amazing before there were Ted talks, amazing talks. And one of the things he would always tell people is, as I'm talking to you, the audience, you're not hearing a word I'm saying because you're only hearing through your perspective.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's very, I don't remember the words he was saying. Haha. Um, but he was basically saying that. You don't hear what I'm saying. You only hear what you are able to hear from your perspective, from your baggage, from your life experience. So keep that in mind when people are experiencing hardship. So I'm not a believer of being quiet, but in this instance , I would say this is a good time to be quiet and just listen to people and try not to speak too much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For example, I got into a fight with Matt because I was trying to soothe him during the time, obviously right now with family and, and it's very, it's a very sad time. It's a challenging time. It's a stressful time. I was trying to say something to soothe him. He completely misunderstood what I said and was no longer even wanting to hear what I was trying to say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He just wanted to fight. And it's because he needed, this is my assessment of people, not just with Matt, he needed comfort. And when people are beyond stretched past their elasticity beyond their ability to stretch or bend, they will snap, and you just. You have to kind of get a feel for it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there are times to be quiet. And I think I'm going to go back on what I said a little bit on a previous show. There are times to be quiet because you really need to hear someone. And I was having a conversation with some friends. We were talking about previous generations seem to be acting up right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're not unable to hear their children. And I think it's because they're under so much stress that. Because you don't have a strong sense of self, maybe from that generation, you become parents earlier. Like our parents and their parents had children early, so they didn't really get a chance to explore their core; to explore who they really were, how they can handle different situations. and once you have children, I think there comes a time where they turn into children under times of stress. And I think everybody does that. Everybody turns into a toddler and it's hard to always be the parent and have someone lash out at you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you just not fight back and not react, but still hold them in a loving way, even though you hate them in that moment. Which has happened to me with you, Matt. I hated you a few days ago, like I was done, but at the same time, I understood where you were coming from and I understood that you needed comfort and you were not able to understand what I was saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You weren't able to hear the conversation because your baggage at that point, your capacity at that point was filled to the max. And there was nothing but stress. Do you wanna say something before I go into the other definitions? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, of course </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I do. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I wanna circle all the way back to, you know, realize shared vocabulary.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Some of us, you know, it it's a different thing. And when we talked about, uh, the episode, we started talking about colors. There are societies out there who don't even identify colors further than light colors and dark colors and on and on down this interesting spectrum, which makes it an interesting thing to attempt to communicate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In addition, if somebody is a native Spanish speaker, there is no way they're gonna buy a car called Nova, because that means won't go. So understanding communication issues. And these are, these are, these are drastic and humongous, but it can even be more subtle from region to region in the us. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Absolutely. And you have to, we have to remember that we're all so much more interconnected than ever before. That we have to keep, keep all these things in mind. Like, for example, in a lighthearted way. I remember years ago I was listening to an interview with Salma Hayek, and it was one of the first big movies she did in the United States.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they called her, um, what's the term sex bomb? Like a sex, a sex pot? No, it had to do with bomb, like sex. Uh, she's a sex, but anyway, it was, it was, I forget the word now she </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a bombshell?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah, I think that was it. Okay. And she thought, oh no, that's terrible because she thought bomb like destroyer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We bombshell.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, that's, that's kind of, I, I always envision, like if you take it and go abstract it away to its raw form, to me, it's a big crater in the ground, which I know that's not a bombshell either, but that's what, that's what I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">equate it to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, like, okay. So I don't wanna really get in, get into this aspect too much today because I wanna talk about the art of conversation and I know this is a part of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just, I don't wanna get stuck here. I'm just saying, oh no, my phone is ringing there are. Hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But moving on, I just wanna say it's not only with culture. It's about a sense of capacity, which we always talk about. Right. How much capacity does a person have? You kind of have to get a feel for it. And it's something that you, I don't know. Is it innate Matt? I mean, I think babies are kind of born with a sense of what's going on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like they know when to coo. Their whole appearance takes on the appearance of the parent that may, that they may need to have the parent be more attached to, you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Like babies end up looking like the dad, if the dad is aloof a little bit. So the dad looks at the baby like, oh, it's one </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Welcome to evolution, right? It's the whole. Like baby's eyes are a little bit bigger and, you know, babies start to, I guess they coo and smile and all that kind of stuff, as a way of almost forcing their parents to attach to them and the scream that's again, evolutionarily designed because when the baby needs something, so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's a form of now that's a form of conversation right there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. It's a very raw form. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So I wanna say that we're born with it. So everyone is born with the ability to sense a situation and sense how to communicate and sense how the conversation's going to go. With tone, with sound, with words, with whatever, with expressions</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">there's, um, there's a lot involved in a conversation. It doesn't even have to be with words. You can have a full on. Conversation without a word being spoken. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And that's why video chat and things can convey so much more information than can be conveyed in just like a, an audio phone chat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So let's continue on. Part of a conversation I think there are three eyes. There's so many eyes actually like there's me, me, me, me, me and there. So I, I brought it down to three i's. The letter I.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Three of the things I'm gonna choose for today with the art of conversation for having an art of friendship is incite, insight, and invite. So it's probably gonna start with invite and then insight and then incite, all right. Let's, let's start with invite.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Look up the word invite, you get the definition. explaining insight using insight to describe what invite means, but it's a, it's a request. It's a participation of. It's to increase the likelihood of. Now my definition is to bring in, to call in, to embrace, to bring in that's the definition of invite, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The other thing, I think that works , in forming a conversation is insight; the ability to see; seeing into something or a situation or someone; to understand. It's about intuiting. It's about discernment. It's about feeling the inner nature of things. And by things that could be people, it could be the situation, but that's insight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And to incite I N C I T E it's to put into motion, to move to action, to spur on it's I guess in our culture, it means to stir things up, Usually when you incite, you are inciting a riot or something. Right. Does it always have to be so negative? Like does it always have to be a riotous? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, it doesn't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But people have a hard time really with stillness, with quietness, with incite, because, you know, I can incite new ways of thinking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> These three things invite insight and incite are ways to explore a conversation. Can you have a conversation? And still incite someone? Incite as in like stir things up and have it be friendly. Can you still have a cordial situation?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Someone once said invite not incite, but I think once going back to what I was saying before, once you're comfortable with your core, once you know who you really are, once you know your yourself, once you have what was, what, how did I explain it? Like previous generations don't really, didn't really get to explore their core.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Um, of who they really are, so they can get thrown off by words or a situation. I think that's when you can say invite, not in incite because you're afraid the person may snap. Right. But I think once we become comfortable with conversation and have enough conversation happening that our muscles become very, flexible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We're more elastic. We're more elastic in our emotions, our heart, our flexibility is, is open to be comfortable with hearing something you may not be comfortable with or being open to hearing something that is so out of your realm of understanding at the moment that you won't get upset, but you'll be open and curious and not get so bent out of shape, not take things so personally where it's like a dagger hitting you and destroying you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So incite, that word uh, I'm like, it can go either way because I would love to have conversations with friends and, you know, I've always imagined having a big, long table, which we do, but we are not using it for friends right now, but like having a big, long table where everyone is eating together and playing music and having conversation, I would like to have not only insightful conversations, like I can see something, but like to be,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to have that incite, like to have that action, to have things be stirred up. I want that, not in a negative way, but in a good way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I got you. Um, you know, it can be something as simple as when I was in junior high school, they wanted us to sell the dorky candles inside of glass containers and go door to door.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, and the guy came in and he gave his pitch, oh my goodness, was I ready to go sell, sell, sell? Unfortunately, I still had a full day of classes before I went out to go sell, sell sell. And by that time I had lost it, but that is, he was trying to incite us to sell. Which is at least not so feel so negative, like inciting a riot, but just, you know, inciting new ways of thinking, incite new ways of dwelling on things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And the art of conversation, really conversation. Another definition for it is living among . It's about familiarity. It's about intimacy. And just going back to that when you are comfortable in that, when you're comfortable within yourself and you are comfortable with getting to know someone, it's not going to turn into a tumultuous kind of situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's where the art of conversation comes in. And really we're getting into social, emotional learning SEL. Right. And unfortunately, I don't think we talk about that enough in our culture, in our society, social, emotional learning. We're all about high IQs. We're all about scores for tests in school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, how smart are you? What are your points? What are your numbers? What's your grade point average, but we never talk about the emotional IQs and just learning. Learning the art of the social emotional interactions, because there are so many cues like the baby, there are so many cues you can say, well, baby, can't have a conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, indeed they do have conversation with you. It's through eyes. And if they can't see it is through sound through noise through, through creating body movements. There's so many ways to communicate. A deaf person can totally communicate. You know, I always talk about the art of the voice. The voice is an amazing tool to get information across, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it's not just the voice. There are other amazing tools that we use. In the there's so much in this beautiful package of a conversation. And we have so much, so much we can use, we have so many tools and I really want to explore the entire art of conversation. I think that's key. It's the key to friendship it's and you know, and I always say friendship is the key to everything and really it's conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can't have a good friendship without good conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It helps you deal with change. It's dealing with separateness interconnectedness. It's dealing with a sense of entitlement. Do not underestimate your capacity, your energy to create a ripple of good that will vibrate and resonate across the world; putting your consciousness towards wellbeing for all of humanity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The power of you is immense. Your power is immense. You have so many, we all have all these tools. and we need to shine them, get 'em all shiny, again, to put them to use again and empower each other to transform the world where it's about love, beauty, nourishment, joy. All this can happen through conversation is what I'm saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And sometimes the conversation is literally like firing something off across the void and not ever knowing what kind of ripples that it, it ends up generating. We've all had that moment where somebody's connected with us when we're in a challenging state, let's say, and it really touches us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And maybe we don't have the capacity at that point to even communicate it back to them. Mm-hmm but it's still important. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I think one of the reasons why people don't instigate a conversation is when they're afraid of rejection. Like we were talking about this. We were talking about why is it that, um, we're always, it seems like, it seems like guys, I don't wanna sound like a jerk, but like, it seems like that we're saying to, to each other in the privacy of our home, it seems like we're just saying, Hey, we're the only ones that seem to start a conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? No one else calls us first. No one else texts us first. So I was telling you, you were saying, oh, look at you, you're so popular. We get so many texts every day. And really it's because I text people first, right. I, I go through this whole ritual where I scroll the phone and I'm thinking about each person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I say something to that one person. and then, then the conversation starts and then all the texts come rolling through and they're all great because they're all feel good texts. Or even if someone's having a hard time. It's still a bonding moment and that's a feel good thing. Even if I'm having a terrible time, it's still a feel good moment because we're connecting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Do you know what I mean? I was raw enough, open enough to say, oh my God guys help. Do you know what I mean? Right. Yeah. But I'm not so needy where I'm just like a vampire about it. I'm just like, get a load of this, help. Like what would you do? oh my God. What's happening? Do you know what I mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, to. What was it? It was probably a number of weeks ago now, but, uh, I, I just decided to text people, you know, happy daylight savings time or happy daylight savings day or whatever. It was just being stupid. Cause I look for excuses to just pop off and the people look for excuses to just pop back and everybody, I texted texted me something back and they were all a little, a little snarky or a little funny.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. It was good. , it's just a way of saying, Hey, I see you over there. And that's what we're really looking for. Right. As a society we're looking for, Hey, I see you. And I'm getting this message more and more </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">often</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's like jumping into a lake or a swimming pool, and it's hard because it's gonna be cold and it's uncomfortable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But once you jump in the water's fine </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or, or being the first person to ask a girl to dance in elementary school, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, I prefer my water thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know. I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because once you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">jump in, you're like, yay. It's so much fun. The water's fine. I didn't really go to dances. So I think you were more social than I was in junior high and high school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh yeah. I was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> super social. No, I was that guy in the corner going, gee, I wish I could, or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think I only went to one dance if you don't include the prom, which I, by the way, I wish I had never gone to prom. People always say like, oh my God, you're gonna regret it, if you don't go. And I was thinking the whole time,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't wanna go. I don't think I'm gonna regret it, but I think the pressure of society saying you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life. I'm like, okay. So I spent all this money. Okay. And I went the whole time, I was like, no, I wish I hadn't gone . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Dang. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Honestly, seriously. I had things to do. I did not have a normal childhood I had things to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm serious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I get it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was working, I had jobs. I was trying to get money together. I was trying to get my situation together so I could go to college. Right. I had no help from family. Mm-hmm I had things to do. I did. I spent all this money on, you know, sharing a limo and getting a dress and hairdo for what, you know, I was not into it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I completely get it. I went to one formal dance, not at my high school either. I got invited by a girl to her high school. That was kind of an obnoxious, annoying, interesting, fun situation. Although the pictures were God awful. I'm really, really sorry, Patty. She was fine. I was terrible. I was just bug eyed, but anyways, um, I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I, I don't know if I regret it, but I didn't rent a limo. Borrowed mom's car. I I'm I'm yeah. I did rent a tux, but that's, as far as it went and I got a, I got a cute little, oh my God corsage thing for her, but that was it, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> babe. I'm glad you went to whatever that was, but we're getting off track okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is the art of conversation. Yes. And I think, I think I just wanna leave it at that. What I challenge, you know what , you know what, forget it, scratch that word challenge. What. What I think we should do is really look at how we approach conversation. But first, think about what you think about conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What is, what does conversation mean to you? And maybe we need to reprogram what we think it is, and be more, I guess, insightful about picking up cues from another person. You may have to use your super spidey senses to understand. Or to get an insight on what the other person is going through. So you may need to navigate gently or jump in there and be wildly conservative, not conservative.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What's the word? Conversational, but just jump in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely feel, feel it you've, you've gotta kinda, you gotta kinda let go of your inhibitions and just, you know, for me it would be something like, Hey, happy national cheese day or something. And maybe that begins, maybe that sparks a conversation or, you know, um, I saw this on the news and maybe think of you or who </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">knows, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">should also get into maybe the next show or the next day, another day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's talk about the art of the invitation. Because how you invite yourself into a situation, how you invite a situation to come into your life, how you invite a friend over how you invite someone for coffee, how you invite someone to inhabit a space with you. That space could be walking out there in the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It could be studying together. It could be anything. But I think the invitation is now the next step to really understand what is an invitation starting with yourself. What do you want to invite in your life? What kind of friendship do you wanna invite into your life? What kind of people do you wanna invite?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when you invite them, what's it gonna look like? You know, are you going to, let's say like going back to our home. Wherever we move to, we always have a forest of hearts hanging from the ceiling. So the person gets kissed walking through the hallway, coming into the home. They get kissed on the forehead by all these hearts that hit 'em on the forehead because they're moving through a forest of hearts and it could be all kind of different hearts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It could be made out paper. It could be whatever, just something beautiful to remind the person to kind of anoint them. With love, you know, that's how that's one way I decided to bring that in. That's how I chose to invite Matt into our home one day when he was coming home from a miserable job, you know, he would get kissed not only by us, but by all these hearts and also leaving your home, inviting yourself to go out in the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're kissed by those hearts again. So it's a constant reminder of the invitation. We're inviting love. What do you want to invite? And that's it, invite insight and incite, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> indeed. And honestly, I think the key to that is sincere. And from you uniquely, you know, what is uniquely you, how can you best express your sense of hospitality and welcoming and love, frankly?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We should be definitely sharing the love, spreading love to our friends, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think you're right. Even before the love, spreading authenticity, you may not be feeling love at the moment, but if it's authentic and if it's not like vampire ish, you know, if you're able to give while you're getting, do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If it's a dance, right? You can't dance with someone that's constantly like pulling you. Do you know what I mean? And taking that's that's that's combat, but it's give and take, like, you know, you walk backwards and then you walk forwards and you walk back and forth together. That's I think a good conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And then that's just the beginning of the art of conversation. Let us know what you think. I think I wanna wrap it up. Okay. That's a, I mean, that's, that's quite something to think about. So just be mindful of the art of conversation. I think that's the key to world peace guys. Come on, love you. You wanna close it up or do you wanna say something else?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm good. You're good. Be well, you're not mad at me for saying I was mad at you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We can get started </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that, but what's the point? No, you're just gonna do the apologia, which means you're just gonna defend yourself when you were clearly wrong. Combat combat. All right. Nevermind clear love is winning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Stop it. Oh my God. He just did an Aikido move in the air and I felt stop it. Oh, um, alright. We'll talk to you in a few days. Please reach out to us. Go to our friendly world podcast.com and leave us a note. If you wanna have a zoom date, please let me know I'm here. All right, love you guys. Talk to you later. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/e666db1a-99e1-4778-a452-46438905c742/The-Art-of-Conversation-and-SEL-Social-Emotional-Learning-.mp3" length="29048299"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We discuss the art of conversation as the basis for the art of friendship, as we share three main components for conversing (Invite Insight Incite). We explore social-emotional learning and how we can feel and dance together no matter how difficult the topic of conversation or the particular life situation we may be in.
#conversation, #Invite, #Invitation, #Insight, #Incite, #TheArtofConversation, #Social-emotionalLearning, #Theartoffriendship, #ESL
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome 
back to our friendly world, everyone. 
[00:00:03] Matt: Hello
[00:00:04] Fawn: Reflecting on the art of friendship, we are starting a conversation on the art of conversation. I'm gonna start with some definitions. First, obviously conversation. Let's look at that.
It's a noun the use of speech for informal exchange of views, ideas or information simple. Right? 
[00:00:25] Matt: Sounds like 
it. 
[00:00:26] Fawn: Well, you know, I always try to have conversation, but you really have to get a feel for what's going on and you have to get a feel for what the person is going through and where they stand in life.
Do they have a very strong core, a strong sense of self. I wanna say that previous generations didn't have that, or they didn't have that once they started experiencing a lot of other stresses, a lot of other things that would cause them to stretch, for example, having children or just, you know, Obviously with having children, it causes you to be thinking of other people and having your lives have this inter dance back and forth.
I'm just talking about this because everything you're going through with your family right now, right? Your mom is passing. People under duress or under stress.
Start misbehaving and there's no. Oh, here we go. Matt's going to start. Um, no, well, I'm keep it easy. The apologia starts coming in. So, you know, when you're speaking with someone, they don't hear what you're saying. When you speak to a crowd, when you're speaking to one person, they only can understand through a filtered process
of their own experiences in life for them to understand what you're saying. So they're not hearing what you are saying. They're hearing only from their perspective. So for example, if they're used to looking at certain shades of blue all the time, 
[00:02:08]<...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:30:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[A Kind World - Finding Freedom and Truth During a Tumultuous Time, with Barry Lane]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 04 Apr 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/a-kind-world-finding-freedom-and-truth-during-a-tumultuous-time-with-barry-lane</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/a-kind-world-finding-freedom-and-truth-during-a-tumultuous-time-with-barry-lane</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Our Kindness expert, Barry Lane is back to remind us that "Kindness is Truth, Kindness is Freedom."</p>
<p>Barry soothes our nerves with his sweet songs (two new songs as we record live in Barry's studio - the second song is way at the end, so make sure you catch it) and words of wisdom as we navigate a possible WWIII, Civil War, life... and shows us HOPE and reminds us that everything is going to be OK.</p>
<p>There are two new songs as we record live in Barry's studio - the second song is way at the end, so make sure you catch it.</p>
<p>Barry: <a href="https://forcefieldforgood.com/">https://forcefieldforgood.com/</a></p>
<p>Barry's book: </p>
<p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Force-Field-Barry-Colleen-Mestdagh/dp/1931492298/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1491102856&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=force+field+for+good+barry+lane">https://www.amazon.com/Force-Field-Barry-Colleen-Mestdagh/dp/1931492298/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1491102856&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=force+field+for+good+barry+lane</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, yeah. So how am I doing well? Um, yeah, um, challenging, um, to be honest, uh,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> what's going on? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah... So my mom right now is in hospice, so she's transitioning and I'm not dealing with it. Well, So an episode on kindness is going to be especially kind of challenging for me. Um, one of my favorite shows, which shouldn't be one of my favorite shows, but it is; it's "After Life" with Ricky Gervais , which is about a man who loses his wife and is falling over the whole time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the only time he cries um, in the show, cause he's, he's, he's a, he's just an ass to everyone. Like he has so much hate and so much rage and so much, and he just doesn't care anymore. And he's like, and he starts crying and they're like, oh, don't cry. He's like, it's not the world I have a problem with it's kindness</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can't handle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> That's interesting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So when somebody is kind to him, it kind of tears apart, this big ginormous shield he has around him, so he can't be hurt. Um, and that's kind of where my head is at. I'm kind of going bouncing back and forth. Um, you know, my kids, they understand, but don't understand. And, and yeah, it's, it's, it's hard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's been, it's been challenging so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Is your mom nearby?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, my mom's in California. And, you know, my mom has said specifically that she doesn't w...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Our Kindness expert, Barry Lane is back to remind us that "Kindness is Truth, Kindness is Freedom."
Barry soothes our nerves with his sweet songs (two new songs as we record live in Barry's studio - the second song is way at the end, so make sure you catch it) and words of wisdom as we navigate a possible WWIII, Civil War, life... and shows us HOPE and reminds us that everything is going to be OK.
There are two new songs as we record live in Barry's studio - the second song is way at the end, so make sure you catch it.
Barry: https://forcefieldforgood.com/
Barry's book: 
https://www.amazon.com/Force-Field-Barry-Colleen-Mestdagh/dp/1931492298/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491102856&sr=8-1&keywords=force+field+for+good+barry+lane
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Matt: Um, yeah. So how am I doing well? Um, yeah, um, challenging, um, to be honest, uh,
[00:00:08] Barry: what's going on? 
[00:00:09] Matt: Yeah... So my mom right now is in hospice, so she's transitioning and I'm not dealing with it. Well, So an episode on kindness is going to be especially kind of challenging for me. Um, one of my favorite shows, which shouldn't be one of my favorite shows, but it is; it's "After Life" with Ricky Gervais , which is about a man who loses his wife and is falling over the whole time.
And the only time he cries um, in the show, cause he's, he's, he's a, he's just an ass to everyone. Like he has so much hate and so much rage and so much, and he just doesn't care anymore. And he's like, and he starts crying and they're like, oh, don't cry. He's like, it's not the world I have a problem with it's kindness
I can't handle. 
[00:00:56] Barry: That's interesting.
[00:00:57] Matt: So when somebody is kind to him, it kind of tears apart, this big ginormous shield he has around him, so he can't be hurt. Um, and that's kind of where my head is at. I'm kind of going bouncing back and forth. Um, you know, my kids, they understand, but don't understand. And, and yeah, it's, it's, it's hard.
It's been, it's been challenging so 
[00:01:22] Barry: Is your mom nearby?
[00:01:23] Matt: No, my mom's in California. And, you know, my mom has said specifically that she doesn't w...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[A Kind World - Finding Freedom and Truth During a Tumultuous Time, with Barry Lane]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Our Kindness expert, Barry Lane is back to remind us that "Kindness is Truth, Kindness is Freedom."</p>
<p>Barry soothes our nerves with his sweet songs (two new songs as we record live in Barry's studio - the second song is way at the end, so make sure you catch it) and words of wisdom as we navigate a possible WWIII, Civil War, life... and shows us HOPE and reminds us that everything is going to be OK.</p>
<p>There are two new songs as we record live in Barry's studio - the second song is way at the end, so make sure you catch it.</p>
<p>Barry: <a href="https://forcefieldforgood.com/">https://forcefieldforgood.com/</a></p>
<p>Barry's book: </p>
<p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Force-Field-Barry-Colleen-Mestdagh/dp/1931492298/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1491102856&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=force+field+for+good+barry+lane">https://www.amazon.com/Force-Field-Barry-Colleen-Mestdagh/dp/1931492298/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1491102856&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=force+field+for+good+barry+lane</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, yeah. So how am I doing well? Um, yeah, um, challenging, um, to be honest, uh,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> what's going on? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah... So my mom right now is in hospice, so she's transitioning and I'm not dealing with it. Well, So an episode on kindness is going to be especially kind of challenging for me. Um, one of my favorite shows, which shouldn't be one of my favorite shows, but it is; it's "After Life" with Ricky Gervais , which is about a man who loses his wife and is falling over the whole time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the only time he cries um, in the show, cause he's, he's, he's a, he's just an ass to everyone. Like he has so much hate and so much rage and so much, and he just doesn't care anymore. And he's like, and he starts crying and they're like, oh, don't cry. He's like, it's not the world I have a problem with it's kindness</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can't handle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> That's interesting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So when somebody is kind to him, it kind of tears apart, this big ginormous shield he has around him, so he can't be hurt. Um, and that's kind of where my head is at. I'm kind of going bouncing back and forth. Um, you know, my kids, they understand, but don't understand. And, and yeah, it's, it's, it's hard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's been, it's been challenging so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Is your mom nearby?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, my mom's in California. And, you know, my mom has said specifically that she doesn't want the kids to see her in this state. So I've been staying away too. And it's not, it's not, it's not a case of unfinished business or you know, there are things I wish I would have said that I never said it's just sadness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyways, so if you see me drinking a lot, drinking helps because if I drink something, then you know, I can compose myself better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, I'm sorry. Not, not, not drinking beer. Just drinking water or drinking coffee. It just helps me to recenter </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> thinking is. Uh, are you going to go just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to see her soon or</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no, I probably won't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I don't think there's, there's an amount of vanity there. Yeah. And she's kind of 95% checked out right now anyways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's, it's a very, all over the place thing. So anyways, I just wanted to make you aware of that. Yeah. If I draw away or I mute my microphone or any of the rest of that kind of stuff, I just, I don't want you to think as you it's so not you.. We love having you on the show and you know, it's going to be a great show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, cause you're a great, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> we talked about it yet yeah. But what I thought, what I was thinking is just, we do a lot of songs, different songs and stuff, but that we just kind of do it natural. If someone comes up, I could play it. That </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> kind of thing. I gotcha. That makes sense. Yeah. Anyways,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ooh guys, there is a lot going on. We need, we need a visit from Barry. We need our friend Barry Lane. Do you remember https://forcefieldforgood.com/ Barry Lane; professional children's speaker spreader of kindness, Barry lane</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">writer, illustrator, musician, Barry lane. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Barry, we need you. Welcome back Barry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Well it's great to be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We are one family. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sailing on... </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sailing on</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> blue sea deep blue sea. We are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> one family </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> sailing up the deep blue sea, Be kind to be free. We are stars We are stars </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> in one sky sky. We are birds. We are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> bird </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> in one tree </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">in one </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:18]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> tree </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> We are stars in one sky </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:24]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> we are birds in one tree, Be kind to be free </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> take by hand, come with me, come with me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:40]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> Dream of all we can be. We can't be</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Take my hand and come with me Love is truth</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:02]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> Love is truth. It's the key. It's the key, know your heart, your heart. You will see, you will see. Love is truth Know your heart and you will see ...Be kind to be free .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> We are one family, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:35]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> family. hand in hand</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> we all see, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:42]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> we see (seek said my Fawn) see</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We are all one family Be kind to be free </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> everybody</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Be kind to be free.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yay, Barry. Thank you. You guys, this shows you, when I hear a song, I hear completely different words. Like you were saying some other word. I was saying some other words you were saying the correct word Matt. And I was saying some other word. Oh my goodness. Uh, Barry, thank you. You know, there's a sign right by our door, Barry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It was one of the last visits we had before the pandemic. I feel like. our friend Holly was going, going back home to California after visiting with us. Matt was at work and the girls and I were waving to Holly after hugging her goodbye. And we said, be careful out there Holly. And she stopped</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">She turned and looked at us and she said, guys, the world is a safe place. I'm like, oh, it struck me. Cause I'm like, be careful and be careful, be careful. Right. And so in that same spot that I was standing, I put a chalkboard up right by the door and it says the world is a safe place. And every time I look at it, it reminds me of what to focus on and what to bring in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But it also, at the same time simultaneously I read while I'm reading the world as a safe place, I always in my heart, I feel like I'm reading the world is a kind place and be fitting. Totally. Why we're speaking with you is because you are the ambassador of kind, Barry, thank you so much for being with us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's so much, so much going on. The world is on the verge of, I mean, I can't believe I'm saying there's WWIII (World War 3), the country's on the verge of civil war, you know, even before that it was, it was already happening. I mean, a shooting every day. , it feels like emotions are running very thin and have been for years now around the world and it's become so volatile that it's really important for us to really gather around with our friends and focus on</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">kindness. And that is why we have our beautiful friend Barry here with us today. The show today is not really that thought out. We're just going to have heart to heart talk on kindness. Where do we begin? How, how do we, I mean, first making sense of it, you know, and then making sense of things that are happening around the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">After everything we've been through as a collective with a pandemic and everything with social totals, like in everybody's face this time, social injustice, economic hardship, hardship. I said, heartship. Um, you know, what do we do? How. What do you do when in your face? It seems like things are hopeless.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Is it hopeless to have kindness rule around the world? Like, is it a possibility? Barry is smiling and that's why, why that's why he started looking at his beautiful face. I wish we had video. He's smiling. He is smiling, this knowing beautiful wisdom kind of smile. What are you thinking? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> I'm thinking that when I get depressed, I like to compare centuries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When I go back to the 20th century and look up what was happening instead of 2022, 1922. And that was a time after world war one when the countries were, it had this giant, we were in had a world war in this century. So we're off to a good start. But the other thing is that the league of nations which was a very troubled enterprise, but at first, the first attempt to do something that we see now working very well, which is economic sanctions and the whole world, instead of ganging up with armies to gang, up with banks and all this other stuff to crush the tyrant, crush the, you know, this guy that's living in like Napoleonic Europe, in his head and who's trying to invade another country and, and wow, you know, what's happened is that the armies of peace are out there doing pretty good, you know, and I'm not trying to say there aren't a lot of problems, but boy, this is a great model to go on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know,if we can do it get this guy under control through our economic stuff, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know, and you know, you know, what's so I'm sorry. I'm sorry to interrupt. Can you please hold that thought? But like, it just reminds me, but what's so weird is, as a peaceful kind of person, who doesn't want to fight, unless it's a martial arts kind of moment, then you know, then I'm all in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If I have to, um, I'm cheering for violence, I find myself and then I feel really guilty, Barry. I'm cheering for the violence because you know, I'm seeing, I'm seeing these totally tiny little skinny ballerinas holding arms and going to battle. I'm like: Yeah. And then I feel terrible and disgusted with myself for, I feel like I'm perpetuating it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know, do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> I know what you're saying. I'm wondering if I would join the Ukrainian army if I was a Ukrainian man, man, I probably was. I was point cause it's self defense people like Pete Seeger and Woody Guthrie back in the day they, they said we got to put up, we got to stop fighting for unions and fight against the Nazis</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">now when they, when they went to war over in Europe. And I think this concept of a just war is when it's about self-defense, you know, when you kind of the difference between defending yourself versus, uh, kind of being kind, um, just self self-defense versus kind of, um, uh, the kind of wars that we've had, which are just kind of almost Imperial enterprises, you know, go off to Afghanistan or those kinds of things, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The Canadians </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> marched on the U S right now, or something like that. Canadians with a no. All </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. You're like our neighbors, our family. I mean, that's, what's happening is, and it's always, what's happened. It's always going to war with family, your, your brothers and sisters. It's it's in the Bhagavad Gita.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's the same thing. It's going to battle with people really that are your brothers and sisters, and it's wild to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> yeah. The first victim in any war is truth. Right. And love is truth. So love is the first victim in any war. And, you see what's happened in Russia, they've gotten rid of all the news channels and stuff and all these great stations, uh, people that were spreading truth about what was going on and, uh, truth wins in the end.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Always wins in the end. I believe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:24]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. I will, I will hold </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> on. Gandhi's famous statement, you know, there'll be tyrants and for awhile it will seem like their mind is, you know, it's a house of cards. Russia's a house of Putin is a house of cards I should say. And, um, that it's going to, it will be it, the sad part is what's happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That the amount of suffering that has to happen, it appears has to happen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Part of the suffering is also the confusion and the polarity of it all, you know, for example, like I said, I'm here, here. I am thinking, yeah, I would fight. Right. And then here I am also looking at the grandmothers that are totally throwing down and fighting. Grandmothers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I'm looking at women. , I saw some footage of women taking the Russian soldiers. Like they had them in custody. And they were feeding them whatever food they had and giving them something hot to drink. And you could see the soldier was clearly beaten up. Right. And here they aren't totally nourishing them and saying, look, this is what's really happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The soldiers didn't know what was happening. They didn't know that they were caught up in lies also. They didn't know what they were doing. Right. And so these women were explaining, look, this is what's happening. And using their own phones to give to this Russian soldier, to have him call his mom and let her know that he's okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's beautiful. Right. And that, and then at the same time fighting and killing these people like killing each other. It's I think it's that kind of, um, polarity. That really messes up everyone. If you think about it, it is so confusing and it's, so this what's the word combobulated, discombobulated combat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can't pronounce that word. discombobulate. Is it a word? It, this, this, we use </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it for, I've used it forever. I don't know if it's a real word. Um, but like, in my mind, it's like, it's so hard to be kind to like the Russian army. It's hard. It's hard to even contemplate being kind, but it's easy to be kind to this soldier in the Russian army that's standing in front of me because we're just people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:56]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, that's kind of where my head that's where again, Aikido comes in, right. You're there to protect your attacker. Say what now. That's what Aikido teaches us. Our martial arts. Oh, my goodness. So Barry, like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> so the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">positive again, I'll say it w we have the re the fact that, you know, that story that are, that everybody is a journalist today with their phones.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you see these remarkable videos, all that is is helping, you know, yes. It's showing truth what real truth and the Russian people are starting to get it too. I mean, it's, even though their media is so, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so I think that love, I really want to research the whole truth business. It is really complicated and, oh, by the way, another thing was a grandmother who took down a Russian drone with a jar of pickled tomatoes,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> she, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:55]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> she flung it at it and brought it down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Yeah. That's kind of like, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">those are the images that stick with people and, show that. That people have this great power and truth is like, is a power. and, there's love that, during war you don't think of, uh, of love Mr. Rogers, when he talks about looking to the helpers to everywhere you look, you see this incredible solidarity of people in the Ukraine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if we could get that at a time when it's not war for the whole world, we'd have a lot of, you know, that would be a very hopeful thing for the whole world. Some aliens attacked or something. The whole world would become the solid group of people, but, uh, war brings out the worst and the best in people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it is the perfect timing for kindness because it's when. Things are really, really bad is when kindness is most powerful. Isn't it Barry? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Yeah. And some of the memes on the internet. I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something like war is people who don't know each other, killing each other because of people who know each other, but don't get along.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, and, um, uh, the famous world war one, truce, you know, 19 whatever year it was. Uh, do you remember that Christmas, the Christmas truce, these guys were killing each other, the Germans and the French, and because of Christmas, they took a three-day break and they just got out of their heads. They exchanged addresses, they played soccer and they actually, um, the officers had to actually force them to get back into the trenches.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause nobody at that point, everybody kind of knew each other. And, and um, so I think that, uh, One example of just how outdated war is as a thing, the more information people get, the less likely they are to go to war. That true information </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that is true. And I think that's, that's the problem today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that is the biggest weapon is truth. It's the biggest weapon on both sides. For example, you know, everywhere, especially in the United States, truth is just, uh, it's a trigger word because what is truth? And nobody knows because we're also faced with so much propaganda. And so, so many versions of truth, if you will.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know. But one of the, like for example, I was listening to an interview with this young man who has a young family and he was calling his father in Russia from the Ukraine. His family is in Russia. His parents are in Russia and he was trying to explain to him what just happened and what is happening that their house was bombed that, you know, all this stuff is happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And his father said, no, it's not. And he's like, dad, I'm, I'm seeing it with my, with my I'm right in the thick of it. Like, and his dad kept saying, no, you're wrong because his truth was so different than his son's truth, his son. And, and he was saying that he had, he just had to stop talking to his dad and he's, you know, he could have been dead the young man the next time, you know, there w there may not have been a next time, but lucky enough, he actually called again called his dad again and kept doing it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And little by little, very little by little, his dad started to be open to believing him, but for, for a father, for a parent, not to believe their child's truth, that is deep. I mean, that is the worst kind of weapon to, to have, have, and look, what's happening to the United States. We're all so divided over what truth is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Welcome </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to the world of the moral imperative though, because everybody in order to, I think stay sane, not be crazy in the clinical term. We have to believe that we're doing, we're acting in a moral way when we know we're acting in an immoral way and we know we're acting consistently in an immoral way inherently, we know that that's wrong, whatever moral means to a given person, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because yeah, morality, unfortunately, or fortunately it is an absolute, but it's sometimes impossible to quantify. And by the way, for those few people out there who are heavy metal fans, I have to say Sabaton released a new album, "The War to End All Wars". It's about the great war. It's about world war one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they have a song called the "Christmas Truce" and they do talk about that event that happened. And it's, it's quite a beautiful song, but wow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Look that up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's one of those like, Ooh, I don't know. Definitely not your style, Barry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:02]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was, I was wondering how you were going to bring heavy metal in, into this episode.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, no, I was, I was actually going to mention the Christmas Truce before, before Barry did actually, because yeah. What we're seeing with the European war, we're seeing a lot of, yeah, it's, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">very eerie. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Those are courageous acts of kindness. And the funny thing is even the most insane dictators are leader like Hitler or Putin, they have to create lies that create truth, their own version of truth. You know, um, you know, the famous one was in Poland, you know, the same area of the world, actually back in world war two, when there were went to invade Poland, he couldn't do it because there was no reason to, so basically Putin's using the same playbook.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He says that a German speakers that live in Poland that they're being persecuted. And, there was a German radio station that was attached and they got the Polish army uniforms. They got, and they brought all these concentration camp prisoners and they dressed them in these uniforms and then killed them all, put them by the radio station and then said that, you know, it had been attacked by these Polish soldiers to start the war.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the name of the, uh, operation, the code name was "Operation Canned Goods" it's like there was this, uh, so even people with no moral compass, they realized that they can't influence the world without having morality. So they actually use their, um, they play, they play the world course like a con man does.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But they know that they believe in truth too. They don't really believe in it, but they believe that everybody believes in truth. So they, they, they need an excuse to do their terrible things and so forth. And, uh, and, uh, and, uh, so I have a song that's called, it's a new song called "Manners Politeness and Love."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it sounds incongruous to be singing at a time like this, but there's a point there's a line of the song that I love, which is be kind to be free. and the world will see that love is truth and hate is just a lie. I think that, uh, there's a kind of a bravery, it takes what I was saying to Fawn, we were talking earlier in the week that there's a bravery to be kind; a courageousness in a world that's gone really to the dark side. And, uh, so this song is about the everyday things that we can do to, when I talk to kids about this, we talk about what manners, politeness, and love are. And they're basically, they're not just rituals, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was in the south one since everyone's so polite that I'm here, we were talking to this guy who said, "yeah, you'd be polite too if you've got a backhand across the face, as two year olds just said something rude",</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">not that kind of polite, this the kind of true politeness, uh, one of the things that Tim Snyder in his book on tyranny says is the 20 things to do at a time like this. One of the things he says, look, make eye contact with people, especially people that you don't agree with constantly be, be there for them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So they see you're a real person. And it's true that what's really true is what's happening between you and I, not what you heard on on the radio or something. So it goes like this: (Barry begins playing the guitar and singing)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">manners </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:38]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> politeness and love</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">shine like the stars high above</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">when the sky grows dark, is it light you must think of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">manners, politeness, and love</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">how are you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">today? You're welcome.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't worry. We'll find a kinder way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Open your heart to the sky. Remember your when </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and your why</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Be kind to be free and the world will see love is truth and hate is just a lie. Thank you. Sorry. How are you</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">today,You're welcome don't worry. We'll find a kinder way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you so much, Barry. Yeah, we will find a kinder way. Barry this is why I love talking to you. Anytime something happens, I get a text from Barry, after the major shootings here in Colorado at the supermarket Barry sent me the kindness notes in the midst of it all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like when things just seem so unkind and horrible, Barry always sets us straight. We will find a kinder way. Let's just remember that. And, and the truth, you know, your heart always knows the truth. You can feel it. You can always feel when something is not true. Don't you find like a long time ago, I had a friend who was very, very spiritual, um, religious, she's east Indian.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was actually in India, we were walking around and out of the blue. She's like Fawn. And for those of you that are not religious, just bear with me, just think about it on a, on a universal scale. But like, out of the blue, she like got really thoughtful and we were shopping for saris. Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, we weren't at a temple or anything. We were shopping and she, she looks at me she's like Fawn, do you know when something is from God? Like, and I was, I was, I was thinking of how to reply. She's like, let me tell you, so I'll tell you what she said. She said, you know, it's from a place like that because you feel a lightness and, and I think that's the truth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Isn't it? Barry? Isn't it meant like when you, when you are faced with something. You always know in your heart what the truth is, for example, you know, I don't know if it's me just being super psychic, but do you all feel this? Not that you're not psychic, but like bear with me. So someone is telling you something and it's an obvious lie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't you find that your brain kind of like a computer pauses?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> (Matt laughs) As we all pause. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No. Do you, do you feel a pause because something doesn't quite click together, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? Well, I don't necessarily pause, but you're right. I enter into the state of very, very confused, especially if this is somebody whose opinions and knowledge I trust and they're telling me something, I know isn't true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's. You hit that world where it's like, wait, something doesn't fit. There's a puzzle piece. I've got one puzzle piece left and it doesn't fit in my puzzle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So what's going on</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and it doesn't have to be this like, um, propaganda kind of stuff. Like you ask someone, how are you, your friend? How are you? Fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm fine. Hi. How are you? And you know, that's not true, right. Even if you don't know what's going on, you're like, whoa, really? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And then of course, then the person makes the decision whether or not to actually tell you what's really going on, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know, you know, in your heart. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Okay. And you're a total psychopath, but most people aren't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, uh, the, uh, one of my favorite things to watch on YouTube is "The Behavior Panel" I don't know if you've ever watched that these, these four guys. Oh, they're amazing. Therefore guys that consult all around the world with world leaders and their interrogators and they, they do videos. They show videos of people and they just tell you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">uh, whether they see deceitful behavior and their eye movement to Nick, it's kind of like that show lie to me that was on TV or whatever, but they, uh, they're very good at it. But one of the things people do when they lie, like people who have done horrible things, they, they start doing this thing where they, they move back and forth or they stroke their arm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's called self soothing and behaviors. Cause people are like, uh, they're afraid. My feeling about that is people are, um, truth is like a safety in a way, you know, and it's unsafe uh, to be in a world without truth. And so they sooth themselves, this is why villains have nervous ticks, I think in movies, in this kind of a, a thing about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that, that makes them kind of feel uncomfortable. Even people who know, they know they're lying and that kind of thing, and truth is something much more, um, uh, you can live there. Uh, it was, uh, I don't know who said this, but you're only as sick as your secrets, in life, you know? And, you know, Dostoevsky they ask you, you're talking about Russians and "Crime and Punishment" a great novel about a guy who figures out he can murder his landlady and get away with it. And that would be in life. And there's all these justifications for it. Just kind of, not a very nice person and that kind of thing, that whole novel is about uh, basically this guy who has to reckon with what he's done. And so it sort of rips them apart and it becomes redeemed in the end, but it's like he needs faith to even, to be able to reveal the secret and that kind of thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's really, one of the great Russian novels . And I think one of the things about Russia is there are a lot like America in a way, it's a big country and they think big, even though they never had democracy, when they do , they're going to be a great democracy. It's a funny thing to be saying right now, but, um, they're going to be a country like Ukraine in a few years, I believe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, uh, I think we made a huge mistake after the Berlin wall came down. We should have done much more to woo them into the European union. It was so bizarre. I lived near Portsmouth, New Hampshire. There's Russian submarines off the coast, still patrolling, and you know, and we're still the Soviet union's gone</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and yet there's still all these things happening in the world. We haven't done enough to dismantle all that nonsense, you know? And what Putin did almost seemed like a guy doing like a comedian today doing mother-in-law jokes or something. It's just seems so out of time, you know, what he did in the Ukraine, is so 19th century, you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It has the quality of that man. And as a country, as a world, um, peace does not come by everybody singing kumbaya, that kind of thing, people are still going to be part baboons part bonobo. They're going to, they're going to be part peaceful and part nasty. And, but peace comes when the peaceful part becomes a real commitment to the whole world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if you don't want to look at something positive, you know, you can look to that. Um, you know, that, that family, that family, that fed the Russian soldier, but you could also look to all these companies that are actually losing huge profits by pulling out of Russia and doing all this stuff. This is huge.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, that's like a very positive thing. And one of the things that we're so upset about is we have so much more information too today that we know about, we're much more conscious of all the things that are going on in the world, so that doesn't really make it any better but I think it makes it, uh, you know, when Victor Frankl who wrote the "Man's Search for Meaning" was in the concentration camp, you know, one of his, uh, it's the only positive memoir, uh, of that experience that I know of; positive in that you walk away going, wow, this guy learned a lot there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One of the things he did is he imagined himself lecturing about that experience, 10 years later and which he actually did. He wrote a book about it and so forth. And I think that's one way to find peace is to look ahead and then look back and say, WOW This was a time when the entire world, except for China, that's another story, but got together and basically said, you know, enough, this is not behavior that we can have in our world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, uh, that's a great model for peace. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:28]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, I mean, am I wrong? Did I hear this right? But like when the fighting started, even the Taliban said, whoa, we don't need to be doing this. The Taliban! </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Yeah, yeah, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. I think that it's a, that's the positive part of the story, I think. And, uh, the history of what this is going to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is a really important period. And on a bad day, it feels like history is going to end, you know, but on a good day, we can look back and say, wow, this is where we learned that you can, one person, just one person in the world can't destroy the lives of millions. They can try, but we're gonna, you know, fight back , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">should have a song about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that. We're going to fight back and we're, we know we're going to be shown that we're not alone in standing up to this, I think is also key</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:28]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and there are many ways to quote unquote, I don't like the word fight here, you guys, but there are many ways to create a better world. You don't necessarily need to pick up arms unless they're your own arms.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you're hugging somebody. And I sound like a total outdated hippie. I'm sorry, but do you know what I'm saying? Like, there are ways, there are many ways you may be in the midst of battle, but you can at the same time hold what you want in the future. Hold, the feeling of kindness and hold the feeling of a harmonious society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's very easy for me to say in our kitchen right now, a kitchen that is stocked with food and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> coffee,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">and we can't hear conflict in the distance or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, we can feel it. Yes. And I mean, we still see conflict. I mean, you know, here too. I dunno. It's hard. And then the guilt thing comes up and what you were saying at the beginning of the show, Matt is then when you do face kindness, when you do see kindness, it breaks you because you just want to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">weep,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't think it breaks you in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, okay. So it seems like it breaks you in a bad way, but I think it breaks you in a necessary way. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:50]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And necessary a way like a, how a mother or, you know, a parent, a loving person holds a baby and the baby starts sobbing, you know, like when you fall and you skin, your knee, when you're little, right. And then someone is really kind to you, that's when you start crying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. That's when you realize, oh, that's right. I have so much pain. You know, there's always that pause where you hold it together. And then as soon as you're met with an embrace and maybe that's why, what, you know, Barry, you were talking about the villains, how they rock back and forth, or like they fidget like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's kind of like being embraced by, by a mother and by mother, I mean a loving source </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> yes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> everybody's seeking. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Yeah. It's like the villain's lulaby. It's their nervous twitch, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> oh my God. The villains lullaby. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh man. See, I just continually think about the time where you were in deep trouble and you just played with a piece of lint in your pocket.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Must you bring that up? Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm not going to say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">what it is. I'm just going to say that's what you notice yourself doing as a kindergartner </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hold on. Now we have to explain what that is. We can just go, we can't leave our friends out there. Not knowing. This is very, very embarrassing and disgraceful about me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Something about me that is very disgraceful. Do you guys want to hear it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">shows about kindness not meanness </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well. Oh, but I have to now I'll just, I'll just make a brief, I won't get into the gory details, but I was in kindergarten and I beat up a little kid for no reason, but. I just had a villainous kind of thing come take over me over an eraser at the table. And I beat up this kid and then I walked away like nothing ever happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then later that kid comes like stumbling back, holding his head. Cause I beat him on his head and the teacher was right there. The whole class was against me. And the only comfort I had was going in my jacket pocket and just holding my lint, the lint in my pocket was my only, only friend. But in that time, although I was the total villain, I, I knew I had what I had done and I knew the injustice that I was responsible for and I really needed comfort.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's why I ended up lashing out the way I did was because things were so bad in my life at that point.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, some people don't have a lint to turn to. I had my lint, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, I think everybody finds some thing once they come to that absolute breaking point. And for some people, you know, this is why people get so devoted to their pets or because they do provide some element of that soothing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> unless you don't like a Hitler or Putin, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hitler loved </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">dogs, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Hitler had a dog.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean, and that's the most messed up trivial thing to remember, but, and there were concentration camp guards who fed birds and, you know, on and on and on, uh, Yeah, it just, there's, there's a lot of really messed up things we can talk about and, and these kinds of trivial kind of things, but, you know, in the face of so much, I think just moral sense of wrongness that kind of sinks into your body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You need to do something to feel good. Hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Or at least something to say you're not alone or something to S to, to be brave. Or, you know, now for me personally, and I tell people this and nobody ever believes me, but I don't believe in quote unquote secrets. If I tell you something and you tell the whole world, I feel like that's on me for even like thinking maybe I could trust you with it or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The fact that I tell somebody means that I need it to get out for whatever reason. And what that person chooses to do with that information or what that, whatever, I mean, you know, if they choose to broadcast it to the world, then that's what they choose to do, because I've already made a choice to share that information with someone else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, you know, I, I, you, you kind of lose control and this is one of the things people it's, one of the really insidious bits of truth is that there's such a desire to share truth. And there's such a hunger for just genuineness and truth in the world that on some level, doesn't matter if it's like really evil or scandalous or anything else, it's just, it gets out there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And for me to then what, be mad at somebody that I cared enough about to share a truth with. Wow, that seems like just it, you know, I, I always say poor on me, but it's it's yeah, it's just. It's hard to explain, but that's kind of my philosophy. I just don't believe in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">secrets.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you think that's why bank robbers end up telling people what they did?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, there is a again, yes, there's a desire to share. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> This is, uh, uh, one of the Bahai writings is probably hidden words. It's one of the, is, uh, I forget I don't have it right in front of me, but it, that justice is, is God's gift to people because through it, you'll see through your own eyes and not to the eyes of another.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and that it's sort of a gift because it allows you. It's something that exists. That truth actually exists in the world. Yes. Yes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> he does. Once </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Barry's dog my goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's Barry's dog, everybody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Well, when it gets too small, this is like one of those things and it's just, I'm afraid of I'm choking on it. Right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What is your dog's name? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> His name's Rishi, which means Ray of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">light in Sanskrit He's part Bichon and part shih tzu. So I call him a shit's on,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but he's a beautiful doggy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">dogs are like in cats. Now, there there's such comfort in times like this, It takes you out of yourself and They take you out of yourself and, and just simple compassion, you know, um, I have a song called be kind that I do with kids. And one of the lines is teach your kitty how to purr, scratch your neck and pat her for help your doggy wag his tail.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your sweet love will never fail. There are ways of practicing love, you know? I mean, and I imagine in war time, it's more, it's more than probably a may, will accentuate that, you know, that because you're literally protecting them. Were meant to,love and it's what makes us feel safe now, whether it's a puppy or some lint in your pocket, , </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:56]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was going to say, or just finding beauty, finding beauty, bringing beauty in in some way, I always go back to Martha Stewart, who right after nine 11, someone asked her, what do we do? And she said, well, go find a flower, bring it in, put it in a vase. Whatever you're surrounded in, like wherever you are, try to make it as beautiful as possible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Start with your immediate surroundings and make that better. So it could be, it could be taking care of someone you love, like your dog, right? And it could be taking care of a plant. It could be taking care of just something really simple whenever you have, make it better and nourish it. So nourish your home, nourish your own self, nourish your loved ones, with whatever you can find, whatever you can create.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> absolutely. And, and providing comfort to people around you. Like I want to say the high point for me this past week was me sharing interesting information with people. I used to work with people I haven't, hadn't connected to in a while and actually giving them information, that's going to help them out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That was the highest point of my week. It wasn't getting something or, you know, having an awesome pastry or anything else, you know, that was the high point. And then, you know, kind of the second high point was getting, getting a hug from one of my little girls. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:29]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can I tell you mine too? So I had a high point because of what, what obviously is happening around the world and within our family, with the passing of your mom and everything, you know, I, um, you know, there's so many things that have been happening at the same time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so my kind of high point came from one of the low points and, you know, I always say it's really, it's really important for you to figure out the people in your life, what role they play. Is it a number one, number two, or number three role in friendship, for example, what kind of friend are you and what kind of friend do you really have going back to again, Aristotle and the Nicomachean ethics of friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like there's a friend, who's friends with you because of how they feel around you. There's the second type of friend who is friends with you because of what they're getting from you. And then there's the third friend who is friends with you, regardless, because they just love you. You're ugly. You're happy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're upset. It doesn't matter. They're just in, in love with you. And that's the true friend. Right. And it's hard because sometimes even me it's, you know, even though I've been working on this for a long, long time, it's hard to realize, oh, this person is not what I thought. Right. Which is fine. Everyone has a kind of friend that is that particular kind of friend for this thing or that thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I'm saying? And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there's nothing wrong with having a huge quantity of these kinds of what do you want to call it? Level one and level two friends. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:12]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. Nothing wrong. Yeah. There's, you know, there's room for everybody, but if you're thinking, oh, this is my number three friend. And then things happen and you're like, ah, Oh, well, so for example, my low point this week was I texted two of my friends that are like sisters to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I said, first at first I sent a GIFF, a GIFF or JIFF, whatever know I sent them the little tiny moving pictures and it was this cartoon character, totally sobbing, crying like inconsolable. And then after that, I said, I feel so alone and scared right now. And all I get is a text that says you're not alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I never got another text or anything again. Right. Crickets, crickets, yet people I didn't expect to even like be there or anything. They were there constantly with phone calls and texts with prayer. With healings. Right. You know, like, and I didn't even ask them, you know, I didn't even like tell them, Hey, I feel alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that, uh, yeah, I think that we learned about friendships through the ones that evolve. The ones that are transactional turn into something else, you know, um, you know how friendships can be like, that person is dependent on you, but you're not dependent on them. You know, they go, you don't go to them when you're vulnerable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I had a friend like that who, um, you know, we were friends, but a lot of it was me being like, uh, a sounding board to him, you know, to whatever. And then my dad died suddenly. Um, right after my second daughter was born and it was very, it was really painful time. And he came to the funeral and we went for a walk and we still remember. I knew exactly where we were the swing set, where like, when we used to, when I was a little kid, I used to hang out and he just he's, he was, he just sort of put his arms around me and I just wept, you know, and it was like, uh, you know, I, I didn't even know I was going to do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? It was like just this moment. And, and that transformed a friendship from then on, of course at that point, um, you know, and I think today with texting and all the nonsense that we have, there's a lot more transactional relationships, you know, they, oh, I read this book called "Reclaiming Conversation" by</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sherry Turkle and she talks about how people will go through their texts and they text back to the people that are more high status first. And then they go down the line. If you hear from him in two days, you'd know that you're low on their friendship list, that kind of thing. And I think that kind of transactional stuff is so much easier to do through texting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But in real life, you know, you know who those people are usually, you know, people that show up and those that don't, you know, that kind of, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but at the same time I have to defend the texting Barry because that's all we have. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:44]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> I'm not saying it's bad. I'm saying it can create that kind of world to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:50]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> make it more easier.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I have some friends and you know, all we have is text and WhatsApp because that's what we have because we're so far away, distance wise, like physically. But I feel them holding my hand. I feel their embrace. Wendy, I'm talking to you, Martine. I'm talking to you, you know, I, you know, yeah. I don't, I don't want to tell you, I want to embrace that as well, because you can feel it much like the truth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can feel a genuine friend holding your hand. You don't have to be there physically. And I think that's what trips people up sometimes. Like they disappear because they feel like, oh my God, I have to do this grand gesture that I don't have the capacity for. But really all it takes is a simple text, but like just something to acknowledge that you're still there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're there with them. You know, I am still holding your hand through this mic. I am holding your hand to you listening. I'm holding you. I'm holding you. I'm I am embracing you. I'm not going to let go. Feel that, 'cause that's the honest truth. Well, much like truth, you know, like, you know what uplifts you and you know, what's a lie, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">so in a text you can tell there's discord or if it's holding hands, why are you looking like that again? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I hear a, I hear a clock. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I've been hearing a tick, tick, tick. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Are you wearing, are you wearing a wristwatch? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Oh, oh no. What it is and take this thing out. Hey, putting this was cluck in lake office.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just started hearing it as an editor now of, you know, a podcast. I hear everything and I've been noticing it this whole time and I've found it quite, um, soothing, soothing. Yeah. Oddly, oddly Erie at the same time, because of what's happening in the world. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Well, no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> it's going to sound like an episode of 60 minutes during this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and there you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm sorry. I just completely derailed us . We need to get back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, that's fine. That's fine. It's all. It's all good. It's all good. It's all conversation. So Barry. Oh, Barry help </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> I could do like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">a song. There's two songs I wanted to do, but one, maybe I do the one that I did. You talked about a little earlier, which is called, "Be Kind"</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it's really simple. It's a Calypso song and it kind of has a beat by</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:30]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> we'll try it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, he's pointing at us. I think he wants us to do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. You guys slap it on the table. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, I can't hear the beat. I can't hear you thumping. No, it's funny. It goes out the sound good. Yeah, the sound </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:46]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> goes out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> I'll just try it, see how it goes</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:57]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> kind. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Be kind to someone</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:05]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> cut</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">out to her</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">for.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How does smile</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to someone</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">sit beside me. I'm the rock.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This girl or boy</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">will know what's right then</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">car.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Hey, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:38]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> it's a Calypso </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> song. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And you know, honestly, when I'm kind on a, one-on-one kind of like. I get this like mischievous, like my brain, different parts of my brain fire that don't necessarily fire in some and by fire, I just mean neurons. But, um, that, you know, when you're kind of just doing what you're doing, you're just kind of going through your day and doing whatever it is you're doing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's a certain, I don't know, there's a not fun-ness to it. And there's a funness to kind, there's an uplift. There's a mischievous for me is mischievous. I don't know if that's for everybody. Totally. But I always feel like I'm doing something a little bit naughty, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> actually the random acts of kindness, or you do something and you run</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like random acts of kindness. It just uplifts you for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Why does it feel mischievous? Cause I know exactly what you're talking about. I feel the same way I'm like, and then I have to run. Why what's that? That's that's that's another topic that's deep. That's deep. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Yeah, it could be the just there's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">no, I think a lot of what people do in life is transactional.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're doing, trading things with people, but kindness for its own sake, sort of like, uh, it's uh, the line in my other song, open your heart to the sky. Remember your, where in your why. Where are you? Why are you here? That kind of thing. And I think that kindness is a way of saying that you don't work for it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not an employee of kindness. You're not a friend who trades things with each other, but you're doing it out of just a pure, there's like a purity of motive that I think makes us realize our, why, you know, I think that that's, that's one of those and the mischievous part, I think that's kind of like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're a rogue. You know, if you're living in a world where everything is, you're thinking about it, people get set to pay a hundred thousand dollars to go to college. So they be in debt and fearful their whole life about money and all these other things that prey on our lower brain that make us feel fight or flight response to the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whereas kindness as a way of escaping that. When you're kind, you don't need money to be kind, in order to be happy, you know, to a certain extent, we need kindness. Kindness is like, uh, I think, it, fulfills an existential primal need. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That is perfect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is the perfect way to hold that thought. Let's just stay here right here. This the world needs you. The world needs. Help the world to be kind. And remember, make eye contact. It is all about what is happening between you and me. Hold it right there. That's where kindness lives and that's the ripple that will be created and go all around everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Let's just hold that and we will talk again in a few days, Barry. Thank you. Thank you for this beautiful reminder. Thank you for the truth. Thank you for your kindness. You are an exceptional, beautiful, loving friend. We are so lucky. We are so lucky, Barry, thank you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> to be with you guys. So thank </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you. We love you so much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. And if this isn't enough for you, because God knows it isn't for me, we do have an earlier episode with him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We do, and it's, there's a link to it right in this episode. And remember, go to forcefield for good.com. You will find Barry's work. He is an amazing speaker. He goes around and speaks with children and he, he he's, I'm telling you, he is the ambassador of kindness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not kidding. He is an amazing writer, illustrator, obviously songwriter and a musician, a phenomenal human being. https://forcefieldforgood.com/. Check him out, get his music. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:01]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Barry singing:</strong></span> Thanks guys. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> It's been really a pleasure just hanging out with you at this real difficult time. I know that, uh, in the end everything's gonna work out great.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:12]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what I think kindness will prevail Barry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Barry:</strong></span> Yes. Kindness will always prevail if we let it. And I think we have to practice it. It doesn't take much, it can get a kitty or a dog to start and starting your neighbor next. It's something that grows in time and protect your ability to love because that's where the, that's the heart of who you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. Protect your ability to love very much. Love you guys. Thank you so much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And remember you're not alone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Make eye contact. It's all what's happening between you and me. Love you.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/5665dc32-65cf-4bd6-b089-db8c6c070f2b/A-Kind-World-Freedom-and-Truth-with-Barry-Lane.mp3" length="64270962"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Our Kindness expert, Barry Lane is back to remind us that "Kindness is Truth, Kindness is Freedom."
Barry soothes our nerves with his sweet songs (two new songs as we record live in Barry's studio - the second song is way at the end, so make sure you catch it) and words of wisdom as we navigate a possible WWIII, Civil War, life... and shows us HOPE and reminds us that everything is going to be OK.
There are two new songs as we record live in Barry's studio - the second song is way at the end, so make sure you catch it.
Barry: https://forcefieldforgood.com/
Barry's book: 
https://www.amazon.com/Force-Field-Barry-Colleen-Mestdagh/dp/1931492298/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491102856&sr=8-1&keywords=force+field+for+good+barry+lane
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Matt: Um, yeah. So how am I doing well? Um, yeah, um, challenging, um, to be honest, uh,
[00:00:08] Barry: what's going on? 
[00:00:09] Matt: Yeah... So my mom right now is in hospice, so she's transitioning and I'm not dealing with it. Well, So an episode on kindness is going to be especially kind of challenging for me. Um, one of my favorite shows, which shouldn't be one of my favorite shows, but it is; it's "After Life" with Ricky Gervais , which is about a man who loses his wife and is falling over the whole time.
And the only time he cries um, in the show, cause he's, he's, he's a, he's just an ass to everyone. Like he has so much hate and so much rage and so much, and he just doesn't care anymore. And he's like, and he starts crying and they're like, oh, don't cry. He's like, it's not the world I have a problem with it's kindness
I can't handle. 
[00:00:56] Barry: That's interesting.
[00:00:57] Matt: So when somebody is kind to him, it kind of tears apart, this big ginormous shield he has around him, so he can't be hurt. Um, and that's kind of where my head is at. I'm kind of going bouncing back and forth. Um, you know, my kids, they understand, but don't understand. And, and yeah, it's, it's, it's hard.
It's been, it's been challenging so 
[00:01:22] Barry: Is your mom nearby?
[00:01:23] Matt: No, my mom's in California. And, you know, my mom has said specifically that she doesn't w...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:06:56</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Colors - How We Perceive Colors in Life and Color Translates In Our Connections with Each Other]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Mar 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/colors-how-we-perceive-colors-in-life-and-color-translates-in-our-connections-with-each-other</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/colors-how-we-perceive-colors-in-life-and-color-translates-in-our-connections-with-each-other</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Flowers evolve to be attractive to bees so that they can pollinate and they can reproduce themselves, which is if there's a lot of competition in the flower world, this is why you have such stunning orchids. It's because there's so much competition for bees because they can only pollinate so much in a day; the brighter and more colorful flowers attract the bees.<br />But where did the perception of color come from and why is there such angst about color in our conversation and our lives?</p>
<p>https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Color is a wild thing. It comes up a lot. It's very complicated. Yes. We're recording, honey. I I've always been confused by it in photography terms because each color has a certain temperature and it's so scientific. Why are I have so many questions? And we have so many topics I wanted to discuss today, but I'll try to stick it to one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Stick to one thing, not stick sticking to one thing, but I don't know, is this what started our color conversation? I was telling you about this person that I really like his artwork. I really like on Instagram and I usually don't follow or want to buy paintings. You know, I don't even hang up our own artwork because</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">be cause I feel like there's so much information and there's so much loudness happening, not loudness as in aesthetics, but loudness as an information and talking that's happening. I feel like the furniture talks to me. I feel like when there's art or a photograph, well, photograph is art, but when there's something on the wall, it's constantly communicating with you and I need some quiet, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because I'm already; bear with me folks, but I already feel like even just sitting, I feel like I'm hearing and understanding, or at least taking part in whatever is happening in the world, I'm hearing it. You know what I mean? Does that sound totally off the wall? I don't want to sound too. Woo. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, for me as a individual, I don't like wearing logos.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't like wearing logos on my shirts. I don't like wearing logos on my jackets. I don't like wearing, you know, let alone a band name on it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's because it's talking to other people it's not talking to you. Is it talking to you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The thing is, is that I feel the need then to defend whatever it is I'm wearing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like it's like I could never get a tattoo because I'd have to defend that forever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's a different subject. What I'm saying is things that speak to you. I guess tattoos are speaking to you, but you're saying a logo that you're wearin...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Flowers evolve to be attractive to bees so that they can pollinate and they can reproduce themselves, which is if there's a lot of competition in the flower world, this is why you have such stunning orchids. It's because there's so much competition for bees because they can only pollinate so much in a day; the brighter and more colorful flowers attract the bees.But where did the perception of color come from and why is there such angst about color in our conversation and our lives?
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Color is a wild thing. It comes up a lot. It's very complicated. Yes. We're recording, honey. I I've always been confused by it in photography terms because each color has a certain temperature and it's so scientific. Why are I have so many questions? And we have so many topics I wanted to discuss today, but I'll try to stick it to one.
Stick to one thing, not stick sticking to one thing, but I don't know, is this what started our color conversation? I was telling you about this person that I really like his artwork. I really like on Instagram and I usually don't follow or want to buy paintings. You know, I don't even hang up our own artwork because
be cause I feel like there's so much information and there's so much loudness happening, not loudness as in aesthetics, but loudness as an information and talking that's happening. I feel like the furniture talks to me. I feel like when there's art or a photograph, well, photograph is art, but when there's something on the wall, it's constantly communicating with you and I need some quiet, right.
Because I'm already; bear with me folks, but I already feel like even just sitting, I feel like I'm hearing and understanding, or at least taking part in whatever is happening in the world, I'm hearing it. You know what I mean? Does that sound totally off the wall? I don't want to sound too. Woo. 
[00:01:40] Matt: You know, for me as a individual, I don't like wearing logos.
I don't like wearing logos on my shirts. I don't like wearing logos on my jackets. I don't like wearing, you know, let alone a band name on it. 
[00:01:54] Fawn: That's because it's talking to other people it's not talking to you. Is it talking to you? 
[00:01:58] Matt: The thing is, is that I feel the need then to defend whatever it is I'm wearing.
So like it's like I could never get a tattoo because I'd have to defend that forever. 
[00:02:10] Fawn: That's a different subject. What I'm saying is things that speak to you. I guess tattoos are speaking to you, but you're saying a logo that you're wearin...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Colors - How We Perceive Colors in Life and Color Translates In Our Connections with Each Other]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Flowers evolve to be attractive to bees so that they can pollinate and they can reproduce themselves, which is if there's a lot of competition in the flower world, this is why you have such stunning orchids. It's because there's so much competition for bees because they can only pollinate so much in a day; the brighter and more colorful flowers attract the bees.<br />But where did the perception of color come from and why is there such angst about color in our conversation and our lives?</p>
<p>https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Color is a wild thing. It comes up a lot. It's very complicated. Yes. We're recording, honey. I I've always been confused by it in photography terms because each color has a certain temperature and it's so scientific. Why are I have so many questions? And we have so many topics I wanted to discuss today, but I'll try to stick it to one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Stick to one thing, not stick sticking to one thing, but I don't know, is this what started our color conversation? I was telling you about this person that I really like his artwork. I really like on Instagram and I usually don't follow or want to buy paintings. You know, I don't even hang up our own artwork because</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">be cause I feel like there's so much information and there's so much loudness happening, not loudness as in aesthetics, but loudness as an information and talking that's happening. I feel like the furniture talks to me. I feel like when there's art or a photograph, well, photograph is art, but when there's something on the wall, it's constantly communicating with you and I need some quiet, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because I'm already; bear with me folks, but I already feel like even just sitting, I feel like I'm hearing and understanding, or at least taking part in whatever is happening in the world, I'm hearing it. You know what I mean? Does that sound totally off the wall? I don't want to sound too. Woo. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, for me as a individual, I don't like wearing logos.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't like wearing logos on my shirts. I don't like wearing logos on my jackets. I don't like wearing, you know, let alone a band name on it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's because it's talking to other people it's not talking to you. Is it talking to you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The thing is, is that I feel the need then to defend whatever it is I'm wearing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like it's like I could never get a tattoo because I'd have to defend that forever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's a different subject. What I'm saying is things that speak to you. I guess tattoos are speaking to you, but you're saying a logo that you're wearing. Do you don't want that because it speaks to other people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It also speaks to me though,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but do you hear it while you're wearing it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Even if you're not seeing the little, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> mark, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anybody can go up to you and say, Hey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But what I'm saying is actually hearing things, I'm hearing like a population of thoughts I'm picking up on things, right? So when there's a, when there's a, a piece of art on the, on the wall, it's constantly talking to me, I guess you're saying the same thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm saying the same thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. It's weirder. When you wear clothes, you're constantly having a conversation with the world and you have to be present and understand the conversation you're having at that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">given moment. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And that's another subject we've talked about is how, style and choice of wardrobe clothing can bond you or break you from relationships.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. So fashion is a big deal, but today we're talking about color. And it started, I think, remind me if I'm wrong. But I think the conversation about color with us happened because of this artist on the Instagram. He posts these beautiful cubistic Picassoesque amazing paintings and they're always in black and white.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or at least just monotone. And there's one time he posted and he said, I like to paint in black and white, the faces that I'm painting, because I don't want people to see color. I don't see color. And this is what he was saying. He was saying he doesn't see color like that, that he wants people to look at faces and not see color, but see the beauty of their soul.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I really like this guy. And I usually always compliment him and thank him for his wisdom because he always offers such wisdom in his posts, just like one line or two lines. But this time his, his, his, uh, I don't know, a bit of naive ignorance or maybe just ignorance or not wanting to understand fellow brothers and sisters who obviously are not Caucasian.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I understood that. Oh wow. This guy is not, he's not one of us like, meaning one of me, do you know what I mean? Like all of a sudden I sense the division and I sense that, oh my God, he's one of, he could be very firm in his belief cause I never heard a reply. And I, I don't know if, if I got muted after making the comment that I made, which was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I love my brown face and I love the colors of my brothers and sisters. And I want, I wish not. I want, I wish people would love and appreciate the colors and see them and acknowledge the colors and capital AND and, also love and appreciate my soul and our soul. Right. And I never heard back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Pure silence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, wow, is this is this I might, did I turn into one of those that got, had to be completely erased off of comments and like that you never, you're not familiar with Instagram, but like, you know how, like you can erase someone's comment and the whole thing goes away. Right? Right. Well, I think so.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anyway, I still don't understand social media myself. I don't want it. I didn't want to turn it into a fight. All I'm saying is, please don't say I am color blind, or I want to not see color. That is so for me disrespectful, it's like, it's like when I remember I had, I would tell you guys about the guy I was engaged to, who had a really racist, racist mother and here I come.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And, and she would make. W most hurtful comments about me, about my family, about the world out there in general, you know, like, um, someone, um, I never saw these people, but someone was moving into like quote unquote, her neighborhood and we were standing in the driveway and she goes, oh God, look, the Alibaba's are moving in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, um, I, that was towards the end for me of like really the beginning of the end, realizing I can't marry into this. This is what, what kind of trash this right. And I looked at her, I said, oh, you mean like me? I don't remember exactly what I had told her. And she gave me one of those famous infamous lines.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, well, you're not one of them. You're one of us. I'm like lady, I don't want to be one of you. I am not one of you. Um, do you look, I don't want to like get into the bowels of the toilet here. I don't, I want to keep the vibration of our show very high, but I think that's where a conversation with color started.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And then you took it to where you take it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> A color is... talking about race issues with you as always very tricky are always very sticky because I am aware of how gosh, darn pale I am</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and how I had interesting upbringing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But one of the things I love about you is that you are very tall; you are my opposite. What I love about you is you had such understanding and understanding as in you were well enriched with all cultures. Well, I won't say all cultures, but a lot of culture in you, you knew things that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I thought only people from my background would know of, because it's an our like inner circle because no one pays attention to us or if they do, they call us crazy or, you know, "other" and what made me intrigued when we were becoming friends was whoa, you know, this, you know, like you knew, you knew a lot about the middle Eastern culture and then</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you would say that you didn't, you always had this, uh, wanting to understand more or like, not assuming that you did, like you were walking around as an, as a cultural encyclopedia, you know, like your brother does that your brother will like read something or hear something. And then he's the expert on that because he has, he is a genius, like IQ wise, but he's not a social genius.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No social IQ, no emotional IQ, right? I won't say no, but it's low. His genius book levels, smart level is very high. You, one of the things that made me receptive receptive is that the word, like I looked at you and I, I felt open. I felt safe. I felt safe to express and just be with you and be myself. Because I sensed love in you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not, I'm not saying love for me. I sensed a love of life and everything that life entails in you. So yes, you are white and I'm not going to say, yeah, you're not one of them. You're one of us. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you have a genuine rich love for everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. And I could never hear myself saying something like, oh no, you're not one of them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're one of us, although I just said it there. Right. But my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Did you ever say anything like that before you met me though? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, everybody wants to point to those points in time where, you know, they did good. Like you never hear from the guy who buys and sells stock about the terrible stock trading made you all hear about the great trade, the one great trade they made.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we tend to edit our lives to provide the most optimistic kind of views of things. But, you know, I have to say that my peer group, my you know, even from a young age, uh, was not particularly white Anglo-Saxon </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Protestant. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's true. You always felt more comfortable with a mix.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, you know, it's interesting when I thought you were going to say like, people who make comments, like I'm not racist, because look at you, I'm tolerating you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I had so many people telling you that. I had, I've had your family tell me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But not, that's no joke. I'm not exaggerating." I'm not racist. I'm tolerating you aren't I?" Like, and they didn't do it in a, sarcastic.... They weren't trying to be sarcastic. They were trying to be like, look at me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm. What's the word for what, what do they think they are when they think that they're not racist? Like when they think they're tolerant, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but tolerant is a scary word right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Tolerant is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">terrible. It's like, I'm putting up with you. Oh my God. You tolerate something that annoys you is toleration. That's... words are funny.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So going back to color though, which is related to why we're talking about this words and colors, right? You dove deep into where really, um, the description of color comes from, can you take it away? Cause you actually did your, I tried to do the research, but then I got mad and then I stopped.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was actually about to say, let's not do the show on color because I'd rather talk about this other thing that I want to talk about. 'cause I couldn't, I could not the information you sent me, pissed me off. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I get it. As soon as we talk in the fifties with researchers, white men researching, are there going to be white men wearing, wearing their crisp white shirts and their ties with their glasses and they're balding hair.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's not just from the fifties. It's like some guy gets on a ship and goes over there and he's like, look what I discovered. I discovered. This, you know, like they become the owner of something. They think they discovered it. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> do you know what I mean? I get that and what, okay. They weren't anthropologist or sociologist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But that's just it, they were going, looking for meaning. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes, they were going, looking for meaning, but from my perspective, they were going from a state of ignorance looking for meaning and how much. You have to take a deep look at yourself. How open are you to other colors and other, other, anything, when you go into something new? Are you aware that you have a very myopic view of things, very limited scope on things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, all right, you're going to go to this culture, this Indonesian culture or this culture that is definitely, so, seems so different from yours, that their skin color is different. The way they dress is different, they have a completely different language. They have a completely different understanding and expression of life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you're going to go in and suddenly write down, oh, this person's word for this is this word. Really, unless you were born in that culture, you're not going to know the nuances of the language and you think they're going to share it with you, a white person coming from some university. I know Matt is rolling his eyes right now and looking at his watch, but let me just go off on my rants and then you can tell me what you discovered. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh and then you'll let me talk?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. So what I'm saying is see, now I lost my train of thought. Let me go back. Let me think. So there's white guy goes to like, like, let's say an island with a culture that is darker in complexion. Okay. Like I already went through the list. Right. All the ways that it is different from his European culture that he's coming from, I'm saying, unless you were born with this language. Unless you have been raised within this family, how do you really know the nuances of language?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you have a few people telling you or translating for you. That is not enough to totally understand. So my question to you is how long were these guys? Was it more than one guy is a one guy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Can we at least describe what that, hold </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> on, hold on. Well, let me just finish. What I'm saying is how did he, or they know that this in fact was the end all be all of words and translation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he goes back, he goes running back to his university in his pinstripe suit and says, look at this, they have a word for brown, which is this, look at that it's coffee. Really? How, how factual is that? So, anyway, go ahead and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">nevermind. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Thank you. So anyways, you have two sociologists. Sociologists slackers complete and utter slackers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They got to write a paper and crank it out. And this is, again, this is slackers. I will, I will tell you why they're slackers. And again, this is me completely projecting into them and God, their names don't care. Anyways, they get 20 people bilingual who speak another language who came from a different culture.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They get 20 that's, 5, 10, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">20 people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Where do they get these people from?. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know, probably hanging out in. I think it was, it doesn't matter. Hanging, probably hanging out in the town that they were, they had to concoct a paper. And so they asked them, they provide them with a paint chip sample set. And they say, can you pick out all the colors and tell me what the colors </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> are?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I remember looking at this, um, all right. So it was literally like a huge spectrum of paint chips, because so basically like five to 10 different shades of yellow. Um, right. Every color. It was kind of like every </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> color in the spec, every, not every color in the spectrum, but a lot of colors in the spectrum </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> from variations and degrees of a one particular color within that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Okay. Got it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. And they got 20 people, so, you know, God knows they probably scrawled with a crayon on a piece of paper for the original experiment, because it was 20 people. Come on and. And they asked people to pick out the colors. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What do you mean, "They used a crayon"?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I'm just saying it was a very low budget experiment at first.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So it wasn't like a high-tech because we've got 20, we're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> talking to 20 people. Okay. And we probably talked to 20 people over the course of a week. We wrote our paper and we presented it right. Rock on. But what they discovered was that when was this, this was in like the fifties. So what they discovered was, the first colors that every society understands are dark and light. So this is dark and this is light, not necessarily black and white, but this is a light color. This is a dark color. That is the initial kind of level that people, that societies are in. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Then they come to a conclusion for why that is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We'll get to that theoretically. And then. Uh, step number two, all of a sudden things are dark. Things are light and things are red. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why red? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How did they, how did they get to red? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We'll talk about that. And then once you got past dark and light red, then you either got to green or yellow was actually discerned as a unique color.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then the next level is green and yellow combined, or rather green and yellow are now represented. So now your color palette looks like dark, light, red, green, and yellow, and then you add blue and then you add brown and then you add quote-unquote the rest of the colors, which I guess takes us to a more contemporary palette, which gives us like purple, purple, orange, gray and pink.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now, every single culture has a way of saying, let's say blue, because come on, blue is color of the sky. Right. But what they were looking for was the succinct, tiny word for it. When I learned Spanish, for instance, slacker teachers didn't teach us marron, which is brown. They taught us color de cafe, which is color of coffee was brown.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I don't know why. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> In Farsi brown is "Gahveh" which is coffee.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So they make the argument that if your language is comparative, that means brown doesn't exist as a color. Wait, what? Because brown is a succinct, teeny, tiny little word that doesn't refer to anything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That was their criteria.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What can you back up? Hold on. I think you lost me and I went to a race racist point backup and say it again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. They're not saying that cultures don't have a word for bro, have, you know, a phrase for brown, what they say is they the word for brown is a conjunction of many words. And it's not its own succinct word. That's what they were going for. Like pink doesn't refer to the color of a Carnation or the color of, you know, a certain sunrise or anything like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> example, blue in Farsi is ABI. OB means water. When you put an E sound at the end of a word, it means coming from or looking like. So it's watery is blue in Farsi. Obee referring to water. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And similarly, I think in Turkish, the, um, the way you say brown is you're describing coffee. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, same, same with Farsi.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's the same.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And That's what I learned in Spanish too,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> so that's kind of the evolution. so dark, light, then red </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> see, I'm sorry that doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. Hold on, hold on. It doesn't make sense to me. And this is where I get my, my antenna goes up because how much of this is this white guy's perspective of language?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because I mean, you were saying that blue. There's water and then there's this guy and they referred to that and there's definitely a color for blue. Right. But hello, brown is the earth that we are walking on. So why not? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So why not call it earthy? Yeah, right. Again, this was their look </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">take on it, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> like I said, and this is where I started to tune myself always on what you're trying to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> categorize.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause this is what welcome to the Greek tradition. We love our categories and this is what the white guys were Greek is actually interesting because this was originally discovered by somebody who later was the prime minister of England, or I'm just going to be terrible with names today, but he evaluated Homer's works and he noticed that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Homer did not describe color. Very, you know, Homer did not describe color the way we describe color. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So like the Odyssey. Yes. Talking about the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">ocean, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the ocean is the color of wine. Yeah. I don't understand why, because that was the closest kind of metaphor that he had. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">saw that he just, he didn't say it's the color of wine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think it was like it's they said that in the Odyssey, it was like, the ocean is like wine. It didn't say, did it say it's like the color of wine?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He went through </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">color and there was no orange and no blue anywhere, but, and purple was the color of sunset and sometimes the color of water and sometimes the color of dawn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Alright. Or a purple ish color. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's on how you look at it though. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The ocean in a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> nutshell, well, the ocean could be the color of wine. If, if someone is killing whales or dolphins, it turns blood, right. Or the ocean could be the color of wine if the sun is setting and you hit the light, just at a certain perspective, and you see a red cast over the water, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I remember being a kid, some teachers saying the water isn't really blue, the ocean, isn't really a blue, it's a reflection of the sky that makes you think is blue. Is that true? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I couldn't tell you. I mean, it is interesting that if you pour yourself a glass of water, it's not blue. It's clear </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> if you take ocean water and put it in a glass of wine and a glass of wine and a glass of water, it isn't blue, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Unless there's a lot of, well, no, it can be a little brown if there's a lot of sand in there, but if it's, you know, based on what is actually floating in the water, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. Well, I don't like brown being disliked that I'm mad and that's where I tuned away from that. From studying whatever reading, looking at what you sent me, I'm like, this is garbage, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't like being, I don't like brown being other because hello, am I not always the other, do I not have to check other and every box I fill out for what race are you other? They never said brown. Well, they said that it's not relating to anything. It doesn't exist. You said brown doesn't exist. That brown is maybe like coffee, but it's not sky.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you understand what I'm saying? Very confused. Now. Didn't you say brown didn't exist? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm saying the word </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">for brown.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm not saying you did, by the way, I'm saying. In this research, by this person, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> if you have a culture that only sees that only describes colors succinctly, and again, the word as succinctly as dark and light, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're not going to say they're not going to point up at the sky and just say, oh, well, that's a light color. They're going to describe it that's the sky or that's, you know, or they may describe something that is blue as being the same color as the sky or a color that the sky has </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But you see, this is what I'm talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is why I love photography. But when I was studying at university, I tuned away from it because it is just, I mean, we got into the temperatures of degrees of color. Oh, my God, I'm getting a special light meter for color to measure color. You know, I understand for sure, like it's a science, but , it pissed me off then to just, just looking at it from a photographic, scientific point of view, trying to get the room to look</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">as close to as what the human eyes seeing, and not have the colors be way off base. You have to measure things. It's not, I don't know. Maybe I don't know. It still pisses me off. I don't understand what you said about brown. I still don't. I think I'm emotionally stuck on what you a word or a word or two that like stuck in my head and I didn't hear everything you had to say about brown.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So we have an arbitrary word., "blue" Right or an arbitrary word, or while oranges are required, we have an arbitrary word, yellow, right? Yellow in, in English, yellow doesn't have really have a root. It doesn't really have a prefix or suffix. Yellow is just yellow and that's just one of those things we learn. It doesn't have anything to do with sunlight or I dunno, what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> else is yellow?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The basics. So we're not talking about butter yellow, pale ales is talking about yellow. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> All right. Right. Okay. And that's all they're saying is as a culture, they notice different kind of steps. And if you have a color wheel that, that, where you identify five different colors, colors in quotes, because it starts with dark and light.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You identified dark light, red, green, and yellow as a culture. And they notice this around the world. They notice this kind of universal tendency in some 85, 89% of cultures around the world. Now I'm jumping ahead of myself because at this point in time, they're slackers and they talked with 20 different people. Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they kind of came up with this kind of scheme. Well, everybody flipping unloaded on them because they call them slackers like 20 people who aren't natives, who are no longer native speakers, they're bilingual speakers and the whole bit. You guys didn't do your legwork. So then they did their legwork.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They got thousands of people across the world. They talked only with native speakers. They had people go out with paint, chip samples, and they gathered all this data and they crunched it all together. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then what happened?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They, they found that the, it lined up fairly closely with the 20 people. So. Kind of the order that I gave is actually from the thousands of people, it's not from the 20 people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So they discovered that this was a universal trait. This is how, if you think about it, this is one of God knows how many different ways people have of describing their environment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I mean, it's interesting. What else do you have to say about it? I could, like, I don't want to diverge I'm going to stop myself. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, they started trying to describe that the hows and whys of how we went from, because obviously every culture, well not obviously, but 89% of cultures probably started out with just a differentiation between dark and light and then to red.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So why, why was red first? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, red is common throughout humanity. It's blood. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, why are most barns red? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you told me why in America is because back in the day, people wanted to paint their barns because it helps protect them from weather, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So they go and they would get paint.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, early on easiest paint to make, as it turns out is red because red is red paint is created via iron and iron is one of, if not the most common element in the soil. Common Element in soil is red. So not only do you have blood, not only do you have meat for you carnivores out there and not only is the sunrise and sunset have red kind of tones on it, but the most common element and the most common paint is red.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I remember driving through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">they call it the Bush, but like driving through Ethiopia and there were no roads. So we were basically on sand dirt, and it was this beautiful light shade of red. Right. And then we have the red rocks in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Colorado, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> red sand beaches in Hawaii. Really. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I've never seen the only one there on our honeymoon.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">See </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> red sand, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">oh no, maybe it was red dirt red. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, red dirt. I remember you said sand. I went to the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> beach sand. What's the difference, woman!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My God. Yeah. That's where we got the really great snowcones. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, they were shaved ice </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">shaved ice, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">whole different animal,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> never again. I mean, we still, that was amazing how they did that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was amazing</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hawaii. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not like, it's not like hot enough there, but Hey, we digress. Okay. Unless you want to talk about colors on shaved ice </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So anyways, so red and also red is very, very, is a very striking. You know, red is seen. In point of fact, Lenin. When I was reading about Lenin, we're talking about Vladimir Ilʹich Lenin of the Russian revolution and the whole Bolsheviks and all the Russian craziness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He became a revolutionary because he was at a protest, not minding his own business, but not being a front runner, but Lenin had red flipping hair and the cops noticed him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, ginger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He was a ginger and the cops noticed him. So he had to go into hiding. And basically at that point, his only he had, he had two options.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, three options. He could, he could surrender to the police, which not really an option. He could flee the country. Challenging. Or he could overthrow the whole country. So he chose number three, which is bizarre, but Hey, there you go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All, because of the hair color,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that was what, one of my textbooks espoused.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And God knows because every view of history is slightly different disagree with that. But man had red hair, man definitely noticed at a protest rally. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anyway. So red is a striking, shocking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> color. Okay. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> All right. And then the hypothesis was green or yellow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. And here's the fun one. So why the differentiation? Well, as it turns out, things look yellower at certain elevations, certain longitudes and latitudes as the, as the sun curves is their theory. Yeah, which is why green things take on a more yellowish tinge or greener things take on a greener tinge. Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> my goodness, Matt. This is why I never liked living in Southern California.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I kept trying to describe to people. It's like kryptonite for me. And they're like, what do you mean? I'm like the color. I can't stand the color in Los Angeles. It is this yellow, green color. That is my kryptonite. I can't, I hate that color. I never use the word hate hardly ever. I don't, but it was like, I had no energy and, you know, for a person that's very visual and, and no one understood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're like, what are you talking about? But it was a, it was a yellow, green, do you know what I'm talking about? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And now I do, now that we don't live in LA </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> anymore. Right. That's why I love the Pacific Northwest because it was blue, green, like the atmosphere is that color. Anyway. Sounds a weird, but it's true </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ha shocked her today. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You didn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">shock me. What do you mean shocked her </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">today?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I painted that very clear picture and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> me, but I can. I can come commiserate. You did not allude. Oh, the man, the husband illuminated me. What would I do? How would I know how to tie my shoes without you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good Lord, honey. Go on. Get. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So that gives us green or yellow. And then the other follows closely in hand the other, the other for green or yellow, depending on their longitude and latitude. And then the rest of them kind of flow from an industrialized society, the blues blue to brown to purple orange, gray and pink.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that was, that was the theory. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So is that it? Are you done? That's enough. I'm done for now. I don't know what to add to that, other than this, have you noticed that people who live at a certain, I guess, latitude, longitude, latitude. Which one is latitude this way. I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. I'll just say this people up in the north are afraid of color, but if you look at their weather, it's very monotone gray. Like let's look at Amsterdam, right? Let's look at Seattle. It's gray. It's cloudy. Most days you don't see the different colors in the sky because you have a cover of a blanket of white that turns into a gray, you know, it's very monotone and their sense of decorating is the same way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like there's not a lot of color within these cultures if they were to be left to their own devices. That is that if they don't mix with other friends around the world who come from different cultures, Come from different parts of the plant where the sun is different, the light is different. Unless you mix with those cultures, I've noticed that homes and furniture, even food is very bland.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No. Think about it. And all the, oh, I probably sound so racist right now, but, but if you go further to the lower half of the hemisphere, there's so much more vibrant colors in pottery, and just looking at the sky, the houses, although then nevermind. Well, let's look, but then there are parts of Europe, but then w what did they do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They conquered other areas, maybe they came back and said, oh, let's paint some purple houses and pink houses and put them all together. You know, like, well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">purple's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a trick, but let's talk about food for a second. And let's talk about bland food versus spicy food. Right? Well, typically what you want is you want edible food and at when things are warmer, the food spoils.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you put more spices on, so you can't taste that the meat is turning. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What does this have to do with the color? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> This has to do with spicy versus bland food. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Well, what, what, w where are you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> going? That's it, that's all I'm going, because I can, I can talk to that. I can't talk about why colors aren't as profuse, other than purple.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Purple is tricky, because certainly in England purple was reserved for royalty. It's a Royal color, because it was so hard. To get to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> get. Yeah. But where did they get it from? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? They got it from octopi. What's that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> octopus that they got from there. Octopus </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sync. Really? I thought that was black. That's how they originally got </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I thought that was black, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> guess it's. Purple enough. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hmm. Well, I was gonna say is usually things that are so rare, like certain jewels or even spices it's because you're going to the Southern hemisphere and the light is different and there's more color there. And there's more there more things growing because there's more sun probably.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Or there's just the perfect combination of light, that makes you grow different things that grows more life than if you were in the north. Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> absolutely. Cloud cover. Flowers evolve to be attractive to bees so that they can pollinate and they can reproduce themselves, which is if there's a lot of competition in the flower world, this is why you have such stunning orchids.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's because there's so much competition for bees because they can only pollinate so much in a day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Uh, so the brighter and more colorful attract the bees. So why do you think that humans are not like that? Why are humans so afraid of color? Okay. I'll say this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is a huge prejudicial statement right there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. Why are Northern Europeans or Northern American areas? And you know, why is the Northern hemisphere so afraid of color.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, I can take it to what's happening right now. You know, you have people that are fleeing middle Eastern countries or island nations with people that look like me darker than me. And they're not, they're not welcomed with open arms.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why is it when, uh, oh, European Caucasian looking country is in trouble. And I, you know, first of all, we should help each other. We're all brothers and sisters, your arms should be open to humanity. However, look at how one group gets treated. I just saw a stream of things that have been happening in the past, even in the recent past of how darker people that are fleeing for their lives are kicked at the border.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, and I'm not talking about just here in the United States with Mexico, I'm talking about Europe, how cruel people are to these people saying we have no room for you, but if they look like them, then it's like, they're there with open arms, with toys, with food, with hot and cold drinks. You name it, opening their homes to people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not, I'm not trying to make a total blanket statement. Not everybody's like that saying, you know, you, there's no room here. Don't come here, but it just seems to be the prevalent thing. Why are people so afraid of color?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Why are people afraid to have wild colors for furniture? How about that? We talk about furniture and design. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We can talk about cars too, if you want. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I know cars because the police will stop you tend to stop you when you have a brighter color. If you're a gray, you kind of can. Um, or is it the other way around?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you have a gray car, your insurance is higher. Wasn't that the case. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Wow. Really?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Because I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think that yellow car, you look like you're traveling faster than you actually are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Really?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hmm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Because it grabs your attention. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So that the cop is more likely to look at you. If you're a brighter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know, this is all very complicated, like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> bees and flowers, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I swear, I heard a long time ago. If you have a gray car, your insurance is higher. Okay. Maybe because you blend in, I blend into the asphalt. Do you know what I mean? Like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> aside from your headlights tail lights, Well, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> mean, if you're driving during the day, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, we have daytime running lights, so I, in a lot of cars do, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but maybe if you're looking from above, maybe, I don't know, folks, guys, I don't know. It's like, this is going all over the place now. Isn't it. but like, look at us, look at how different we are. We back in the day when we actually bought a house, we don't own the house anymore, but we rent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We bought a house. And the first thing we did after we like, you know, clean everything and change the floors, we put every color possible on the walls. We were like, please let's add some color. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, we wanted brightness. We were in Seattle. So we wanted that's what I'm saying </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is possible, but everybody else was gray.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like we had a color. What was she called? A color consultant analyst. And she, she put up gray stuff. I'm like lady. And, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and yet though I loved it. Our bedroom was espresso, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it was espresso. We had a Moss green wall. We had a pale ale, very bright </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yellow. We had a divine ale. It was fine. It was called the paint company was called divine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So yes, we had divine ale, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but like, and then our furniture was every color. Yes, it was, it was, um, and yeah, we're, we're, we're like, um, Cirque de Solei, you know, all the beautiful colors and wild things happening in the home. Um, all right. I don't know. But there you go. That was our conversation this week was just the meanderings of why and how.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What's interesting though. The one thing that they discovered is there is a universality to at least 89% of the world and how we choose to evaluate color, which means that on some level we're all somewhat alike in how we discern these portions of the world, maybe tiny little slices of the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, if you start thinking about it, we're all a lot more alike than we are different. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Not to get into the sound bite of, I don't see color and all of that kind of, you know, jibberish.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Even the way we see color is similar.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Is it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm making that assertion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just said these people are afraid of color. So obviously they don't see color the way I do. They don't love color the way I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they may be afraid of the color green, but it's still the color green.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know. All right. What do you all think? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. We're just going to agree to disagree </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> here. I'm not saying I'm disagreeing. I'm just saying I don't even know the point of it. I honestly, I've been talking about it all my life color. I, whatever, man, I just, I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Whatever, man. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, let us know what you think.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Reach out. Please reach out to us. Our friendly world podcast.com. We are working on things we're doing some giveaways. When you sign up, I'm working on a gift. When you sign up to our website, you'll be gifted with this project I'm working on. And for those of you, who've already signed up. Thank you.</span></span></p>
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<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're working more on that. Reach out to us. We want to talk to you in person. Love you. We'll talk to you soon. Be well, thank you so much. Love you. Talk to you later. </span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Flowers evolve to be attractive to bees so that they can pollinate and they can reproduce themselves, which is if there's a lot of competition in the flower world, this is why you have such stunning orchids. It's because there's so much competition for bees because they can only pollinate so much in a day; the brighter and more colorful flowers attract the bees.But where did the perception of color come from and why is there such angst about color in our conversation and our lives?
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Color is a wild thing. It comes up a lot. It's very complicated. Yes. We're recording, honey. I I've always been confused by it in photography terms because each color has a certain temperature and it's so scientific. Why are I have so many questions? And we have so many topics I wanted to discuss today, but I'll try to stick it to one.
Stick to one thing, not stick sticking to one thing, but I don't know, is this what started our color conversation? I was telling you about this person that I really like his artwork. I really like on Instagram and I usually don't follow or want to buy paintings. You know, I don't even hang up our own artwork because
be cause I feel like there's so much information and there's so much loudness happening, not loudness as in aesthetics, but loudness as an information and talking that's happening. I feel like the furniture talks to me. I feel like when there's art or a photograph, well, photograph is art, but when there's something on the wall, it's constantly communicating with you and I need some quiet, right.
Because I'm already; bear with me folks, but I already feel like even just sitting, I feel like I'm hearing and understanding, or at least taking part in whatever is happening in the world, I'm hearing it. You know what I mean? Does that sound totally off the wall? I don't want to sound too. Woo. 
[00:01:40] Matt: You know, for me as a individual, I don't like wearing logos.
I don't like wearing logos on my shirts. I don't like wearing logos on my jackets. I don't like wearing, you know, let alone a band name on it. 
[00:01:54] Fawn: That's because it's talking to other people it's not talking to you. Is it talking to you? 
[00:01:58] Matt: The thing is, is that I feel the need then to defend whatever it is I'm wearing.
So like it's like I could never get a tattoo because I'd have to defend that forever. 
[00:02:10] Fawn: That's a different subject. What I'm saying is things that speak to you. I guess tattoos are speaking to you, but you're saying a logo that you're wearin...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:46:35</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Social Penetration Theory - Outlining the Stages and Layers of Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Mar 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/social-penetration-theory-outlining-the-stages-and-layers-of-friendship</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/social-penetration-theory-outlining-the-stages-and-layers-of-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Social penetration was theorized in the seventies by two sociologists trying to figure out how people become friends and attempting to categorize different kinds of classifications of friends. We break down five stages of friendship today to better understand our relationships.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">#ErwinAltman, #universityofUtah, #DolmasTaylor, #universityofDelaware, #socialpenetrationtheory, #sociology, #orientationphase, #affectversuseffect, #deepfriendships, #relationships, #stablestage, #de-penetrationstage, #conceptofself, #society, #friendship, #spiritualconnection, #socialmedia, #zoom, #exploratoryaffective, #socialexchangetheory, #successproposition, #costsandrewardsofrelationships, #Aristotle'sNicomacheanethics, #cottoncandyfriends</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Hi everybody. Welcome back. Hello. Welcome to our friendly world. Have a beautiful every day. Are you having a beautiful day, a beautiful evening. Beautiful afternoon. Um, do it. Hi everyone. So Matt, Matt's going to kick it off today with a horrible, horrible, nasty title.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Thanks for that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, you didn't make it up, but go figure the patriarchy did, right? From the what? 1950s, seventies, 1970s. Same difference. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Seventies was a very different time than the fifties. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So who are these guys? Erwin Altman of the university of Utah. And Dolmas Taylor of the university of Delaware. We have no idea how these guys knew each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Were they friends? I don't know. Do you know? Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But they were researchers. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sociologists. So check it out, guys. Take it away. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> social penetration theory. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ewe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, exactly. There is a little aspect of, oh dear. </span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[Social penetration was theorized in the seventies by two sociologists trying to figure out how people become friends and attempting to categorize different kinds of classifications of friends. We break down five stages of friendship today to better understand our relationships.
 
#ErwinAltman, #universityofUtah, #DolmasTaylor, #universityofDelaware, #socialpenetrationtheory, #sociology, #orientationphase, #affectversuseffect, #deepfriendships, #relationships, #stablestage, #de-penetrationstage, #conceptofself, #society, #friendship, #spiritualconnection, #socialmedia, #zoom, #exploratoryaffective, #socialexchangetheory, #successproposition, #costsandrewardsofrelationships, #Aristotle'sNicomacheanethics, #cottoncandyfriends
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Hi everybody. Welcome back. Hello. Welcome to our friendly world. Have a beautiful every day. Are you having a beautiful day, a beautiful evening. Beautiful afternoon. Um, do it. Hi everyone. So Matt, Matt's going to kick it off today with a horrible, horrible, nasty title.
[00:00:26] Matt: Thanks for that
[00:00:27] Fawn: I mean, you didn't make it up, but go figure the patriarchy did, right? From the what? 1950s, seventies, 1970s. Same difference. 
[00:00:37] Matt: Seventies was a very different time than the fifties. 
[00:00:39] Fawn: So who are these guys? Erwin Altman of the university of Utah. And Dolmas Taylor of the university of Delaware. We have no idea how these guys knew each other.
Were they friends? I don't know. Do you know? Absolutely. 
[00:00:53] Matt: But they were researchers. Yes. 
[00:00:56] Fawn: Sociologists. So check it out, guys. Take it away. 
Matt, 
[00:00:59] Matt: social penetration theory. 
[00:01:02] Fawn: ewe. 
[00:01:03] Matt: Yeah, exactly. There is a little aspect of, oh dear. 
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                    <![CDATA[Social Penetration Theory - Outlining the Stages and Layers of Friendship]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Social penetration was theorized in the seventies by two sociologists trying to figure out how people become friends and attempting to categorize different kinds of classifications of friends. We break down five stages of friendship today to better understand our relationships.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">#ErwinAltman, #universityofUtah, #DolmasTaylor, #universityofDelaware, #socialpenetrationtheory, #sociology, #orientationphase, #affectversuseffect, #deepfriendships, #relationships, #stablestage, #de-penetrationstage, #conceptofself, #society, #friendship, #spiritualconnection, #socialmedia, #zoom, #exploratoryaffective, #socialexchangetheory, #successproposition, #costsandrewardsofrelationships, #Aristotle'sNicomacheanethics, #cottoncandyfriends</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Hi everybody. Welcome back. Hello. Welcome to our friendly world. Have a beautiful every day. Are you having a beautiful day, a beautiful evening. Beautiful afternoon. Um, do it. Hi everyone. So Matt, Matt's going to kick it off today with a horrible, horrible, nasty title.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Thanks for that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, you didn't make it up, but go figure the patriarchy did, right? From the what? 1950s, seventies, 1970s. Same difference. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Seventies was a very different time than the fifties. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So who are these guys? Erwin Altman of the university of Utah. And Dolmas Taylor of the university of Delaware. We have no idea how these guys knew each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Were they friends? I don't know. Do you know? Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But they were researchers. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sociologists. So check it out, guys. Take it away. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> social penetration theory. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ewe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, exactly. There is a little aspect of, oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Would you rather, it was called the social diffusion theory because diffusion is perhaps a, perhaps a nicer way of saying </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was thinking about it in the bathroom, I was thinking, what if we called it the social dance theory, but it was close to STD. It was S D T </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think either way, this kind of, whatever we're talking about can go awry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> As most things, I suppose. Can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Go for it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Social penetration theory as, um, theorized in the seventies. This is two sociologists getting together, trying to figure out how people become friends, is very Greek in that they're attempting to categorize different kinds of classifications of friends. And honestly, on some level, it all feels very intuitive, but they, it is an objective theory because they actually did do experiments to quote unquote, prove what it is we're talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I thought it was all experimental. I thought it was all experiments being done that it wasn't a one-on-one case basis. It was purely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">scientific. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But that's just, it, you start with your theory and then you attempt to prove it. I don't believe they started with a completely blank canvas to try and understand how people become friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So I don't know, in the different categories thereof. Okay. So start from the beginning. Give us a quick definition of what this is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's defining different categories of friendships and how you move from one category to another category. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And what all that means. So let's get into it. Let's go. I'm ready.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. So they described five stages or steps and stage one is orientation. This is the stranger on a train stranger on a plane. They said stranger on a train, which I thought was funny. I think of it, a stranger on a plane where you're just kind of, you're kind of in this position where you're next to somebody for an hour.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if you start the conversation, it's the types of things you usually talk about. So it's very small talky. It's very non intimate and they describe.; They have this whole theory of people are like onions and I do too, but people are like onions and what you see on the outside is the simplest kind of non-subjective things like, you see if somebody's, male or female, you see, what race someone is, how tall they are, that kind of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's the kind of initial things you get into with small talk, you know, where are you from? These aren't opinions, these are just things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So this is the first layer. This is called the orientation stage and orientation, that onion, they, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they referred to it's the internal personal stuff. It's where it gets weird.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So how's this different than the onion. Okay. Are you going to get into that? Are you going to explain how is what you're just taught the five stages, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the stages are you and someone else. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But isn't that the layers of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the onion? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it's what you choose to reveal about yourself. All right. Nevermind. Yeah. And it's all fluff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's all messed up. Okay. Anyways, let's keep going. Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So once you get past this orientation phase, I think we've all, I think we all have a fairly keen </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> understanding of what that I don't, because I don't have small talk. So when we talked about this, I said, well, yeah, well, this is how I operate. And every single time you're like, well, it doesn't include you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">'cause you said I'm weird like that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And that's, that's the problem here folks is there are moments in time where I think I very much fall into the quote-unquote standards, but Fawn rarely does, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> which is a problem, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> which isn't a problem. It's hard for you to understand how other people process, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right. It is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I don't have small talk. Orientation stage for me is I scan the person. And I can feel their entire life history and I'll get into it immediately. The stranger on the bus or the train or the plane.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's first stage for me, but I don't count. So I'm just going to try to be quiet, so, okay. What is small talk honey explained to me? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, what is that? Okay. Strange. Where are you coming from? Where are you going to, what are you going to do there? That's small talk. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's small talk, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is small talk also the weather.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Small talk is the weather </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is small talk. How about those Mets? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. All right. Cool. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Oh, I don't follow baseball. There's like, there's no judgment there. You're just, it's very, fact-based kind of back and forth and you're and if somebody offers an opinion, it's not going to be odds are, you're not asking about deep your, your.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Deep seated core beliefs. And they're not talking about their deep seated core beliefs because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're not invested you. Don't like there's a, there's a total division, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's, it's rare that small talk leads to somebody trying to convert you to Buddhism or Christianity or whatever. Cause it's small talk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're just hanging out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So then they describe the next phase. Is this exploratory effective. And again, welcome to sociologists. They love sticking big words that seem like they mean a lot. It kind of means the next phase. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So it's called exploratory affective affective with an a, so I always have to look this up affect versus effect. Affect with an a a F F E C T is a verb effect is the noun.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's the quantity, the it's the consequences of an affect So effect is the outcome of an affect. Does that make sense? Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it does, Affect as a verb, effect as a noun, but on some level, it doesn't matter. These are just words that they chose to attach to the next stage. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, then if you're going to think about it like that, nothing matters.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Who cares, everything was just words and numbers. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There you go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. It's step three. Wait, is this three or two? I'm sorry. So this one is called. Why aren't we talking about, I thought three was affective </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> don't jump ahead, woman. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we're on stage two, which is, oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I see. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exploratory Affective. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Thank you. This is what happens when I attempt to leave the show folks</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">anyways. So this is where you start to get more real with each other. This is you are more intimate. You can get into moderate topics. Now there's a lot of hot button topics right now that people won't touch particularly kind of red vs. Blue topics. This isn't those types of things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is. Yes. Go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Explain to me what this is, because obviously, I don't know, because I'm an uncouth in that manner. So start revealing inner-self little by little. How does that work? Can you explain me an example? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's a delicate dance. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Which I know nothing about. Right. So can you explain it to me?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Uh, when you choose to reveal. So again, let's talk stranger on a train and let's talk about going through this, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hold on, stop. Stop. How about if I'm the stranger and you're coming to me, you've done the small talk. Now we're going to go to stage two exploratory affective. So I'll just be quiet. So you show me what that is because obviously if I'm, well, I need to learn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">because they don't understand.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I get it. Unfortunately, this is scientists attempting to categorize labels. Um, and honestly it's an infinite spectrum, but this takes us into, so you're a stranger. We've had our small talk. Where are you going? Where are you coming from? Wow. That's a, that's a cute skirt or whatever, you know, that kind of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Where'd you get it? That kind of stuff. Now, all of a sudden unrequested by you, maybe I start showing you pictures of my kids. So I'm making myself more vulnerable. Okay. Cause you could be like, oh my God, that's an ugly child. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or would it be safe to say I just experienced this. I'm trying to think of something I don't know, or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> me maybe revealing that, , I served in the military or, you know, where all of a sudden people start to have a pre judged notions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What if you had an extraordinary day and you start saying, let me tell you about what just happened to me. Like the weirdest mysterious, coincidence just happened to me. Would that be okay or is that too far?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">. Well, you're, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you're moving into the more intimate stage. So yes, it's totally okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Would this fall into the exploratory affective stage?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It depends on me. And it depends on you, honestly, this is all feeling out. This is more like I'm kind of feeling you out as far as, your opinions on things, but like opinions on stuff that I kind of don't care if we disagree, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> basically. You're just revealing your inner self little by little, like your inner self rather than the weather outside.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. Okay. I got it. I think I got it. Okay. Okay. Sorry for interrupting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's totally fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just want to learn now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Here's where it gets fun most. Oh, it's almost painful to say this, but most friendships stop here. Most friendships stop here. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's just it. And that's where I'm always saying, is this a true friendship because yeah, this is still an acquaintance level, isn't it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's still </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> very acquaintancy. Absolutely. And this can be work relationships and this can be, even familial relationships or in-laws style relationships or room mate kind of relationships. They can stop here where, you know, you're basically just kinda like, yeah, how's it going? And you know, I'm not, I'm not here to criticize </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">basically.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Is this the one where you were explaining it as this is your opinion that this is the friend zone? Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's definitely the friend zone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> As in, it's kind of related to dating all these different stages. But this is the friend zone, meaning not friendship, friendship, the way we're talking about, but like you're stuck in the friend zone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not going to go anywhere else. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And this is stuck in the friend zone. Now this is the path to a real romantic relationship, but you're not there yet. And you may never get there. Yes, it's exactly what we're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">describing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So can we take this talk and not refer</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">to it as a romantic relationship, but still treat it the same way you explore or romantic relationship, the romantic relationship in this case, being your romantic ideal would be that you would find your best friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> fine. Does that make sense? Right. And, and no, going to a dating metaphor. I mean, uh, a romantic relationship is a friendship is a very close, deep friendship. It's a bond on many, you know, on 85 other levels, it exists as well, but on that level, it does exist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Once the subtle nuance is the exploratory effective. Hold on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wait, wait, are you moving to step three right now? No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You said something really interesting about step two, which was again the exploratory affective stage. And when you mentioned that this is the safe zone, you said something really profound to me and it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> explains later on in our conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, no, no. It's still about this particular stage though. I know, but, but you said this is where people can't hurt you. And I think, and I think that's why people are afraid to really reveal themselves and to have true friendship, because it does require some work to have a true friendship and that work could be being, revealing, revealing yourself </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> where you have to make yourself vulnerable in order to really deepen a friendship or relationship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The fear of being hurt keeps people at this superficial stage. Can I call it a superficial stage? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean, we don't want to call it a superficial stage, but yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm done. So, okay, stage three. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. So exploratory affective in their minds can turn into the affective stage. And again, this all, to me, there's an infinite levels of nuance and subtlety and a million other things. And you can drift in and out of different stages at different times and all the rest of it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So this is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> affective.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is just a straight up affective stage three. And this is where all of a sudden you start really getting criticism. And you start arguing about aspects of your core beliefs, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because this is where you have now shared your personal and private matters .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So you're starting to share the things that you hold more deeply.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And this is where you said criticism com arguments. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it doesn't sound very, it doesn't sound very, um, uh, Friendly does it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It makes sense though. Remember when we had our first big fight and one of our friends congratulated us, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> congratulate you. I didn't hear about it, but you were there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What you there? I thought you were there. She congratulated us and said, well done. Now you can move forward. And I said, what the hell are you talking about? It's over? And she said, well, now you've had your argument and your criticism. Now, and now I can see what she meant. Like we moved to stage three.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, honestly, because we didn't want to separate, even though we had these criticisms and arguments. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And the other thing that you learn about the other person is how they fight. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oopsies</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I always described this to different people, who are just getting into a romantic relationship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, when you do have a big fight, do you throw everything you can at the person to hurt them? Are you taking every piece of knowledge that you've ever learned about this person and you just want to hurl it back at them and hurt them. Or do you want to talk about what you're arguing about and are you going to be respectful and are you going to be mindful?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And are you going to, not go for that because there is literally, and I believe this every single relationship that I have with the exception of my wife, because I think we have a very different, much more evolved relationship. In every relationship I have. And that includes, you know, the boss, I just met a week ago to, the grocer up the street who checks me out to friends I've had for years texting him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, you know, like, uh, God, but I believe that there's a series of 10 words I can string together that will terminate that relationship. And, it's not necessarily things I believe. But,, if I go into my boss and I say you're a no nothing do nothing ridiculous cartoon of a person, I'm probably going to get fired.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's an extreme example, but I believe that exists in just about every relationship. So when you fight, there's that string of 10 words you can put together. And if you do, then you're done. And if you choose not to, if you choose to be respectful, if you choose to be mindful, if you're just going and arguing about what you're arguing about, but you're trying to be respectful on both sides.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this is a two way street, then, your relationship has a chance to further deepen. Otherwise it's done. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you. I went through this a few years ago with the yoga people. They were disrespectful. We reached a point in our friendship where we had reached such intimacy. And then all of a sudden they threw nuclear bombs at me during a conflict that was involving our group.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And that was it. Like, and they, they thought they could just go back to normal. That's how they treated each other. They could throw out these destructive words. But in their own families, they would just get on with it and never expressed any kind of communication about why that was said. They just pretended it wasn't said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And again, familial relationships in-laws, people you work with and are going to continue to work with. Cause I just described a scenario where I would stop working there, obviously. They're different and they don't follow these rules because in many ways you're kind of in prison with them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And your only choice is to sever all contact or continue to figure out how to make it. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Got it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And yeah, I'm not a figuring out how to make it okay kind of person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Affective relationships actually also lead us into this is where romantic relationships can be given, which is kind of fun. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So, yeah, that makes sense. When we had our arguments, that's when we developed our marriage actually, well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that point predicated on, I mean, you don't have to duke it out and you could have, you could have</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">deep seeded friendships or deep friendships with people. You've never argued with , you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> can, you can balance the criticism </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's a bellwether though, of things because you're now throwing out things that might be controversial. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And if you can maneuver it without getting burned, I don't know how else to describe it, but if you can handle the criticism and the arguments and the relationship still survives,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">or it flourishes actually, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but this also leads us to why people who agree on everything can have deep friendships because they can reveal all these inner things about themselves. But the other person is basically in the exact same boat so they reveal the exact same thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's kind of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">boring. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, I'm not going to argue that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I would prefer to have people that I totally don't understand for a little bit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because I want to grow like that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes friendships are just a case of two people who just agree on everything and there's nothing wrong with that. You know, maybe they grew up in the same small town and lived there for 40 years and</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">think you can grow as human beings like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">stretch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We're talking about friendships. We're not talking about personal growth. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, for me, friendship And personal growth go hand in hand and again, so that's me once again, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and this is tricky. Because I'm not going to disagree with you on that level. I agree on many levels, but I can have a friend who I just agree with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's nothing wrong with that. I dig </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know that to me is just an acquaintance though. You know? No. What if, like we always talk about this, like how people get in trouble because they're surrounded by yes men or yes women. Yes. Yes. Yes. You just want to agree all the time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Me that's different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. You know, I'm a, yes, man is someone who says yes, regardless of what they believe, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but it's the same outcome. If you're both, if both sides are constantly in agreement, then everything outside of that agreement is other. And therefore you have separation. Therefore you can't have a society that can easily.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">dance together. That's a problem. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. But I'm not talking about all friendships should be this way. I'm just saying it's okay to have a friend who's just like you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Or even many friends. It, it just, you get into a mindset of too much self-belief that you're right. If everybody always agrees with you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So that takes us. Okay. So we started an orientation then exploratory affective then affective, and then the next level number four, stable, which wow. It's a place where things are just on the level. I mean, they're really not, but now you're in a place of honesty, like almost complete honesty, spontaneity. And I think most importantly, you've gotten to a point where you can predict your friends' emotional reactions to various, to be scientific stimuli, but to various things that you might bring up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Again, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">this seems kind of superficial, but it makes sense </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because it's no other person. Now, this person has chosen to share a lot of a lot. If not all, not, I don't think we actually ever share all of what we are, but they've shared most of what they are with you when you shared most of what you are with them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry. I'm going to interject, but like every single one, I have a major disagreement with right here. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't think, first of all, I, but you're right. Like you were saying, what did you call me today? No, stop it. What'd you call me today? You said, what'd you call me when I said, am I, you said you don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">count.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I did say you don't count. Yes I did folks! </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Like, whatever, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> whenever we can, we, can you explain, can you. Why did you say, I don't count because it sounds horrible. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But you didn't mean it like that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in computer programming, there are these things called edge cases, which are where everything's kind of backwards or it could never happen in the real world, or it's so rare to happen in the real world that maybe we don't take it into account.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's like theories are good for 80% of the people. 89 or 90 or 95 or 99.9. But it's rare you can find something that's for a hundred percent of the people, other than stuff like you breathe air it's has it's like these really kind of course fundamental things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Therefore you get people like me who don't fit in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. Who is the odd </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">duck? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Who doesn't understand why they don't fit in. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So true. So stable stage, some of the deepest personal thoughts, beliefs and values are shared and reactions of the other person is predicted by the other person. Well, I was going to say, I can never predict unless I get into a psychic mode.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can't predict what someone's going to say. I'm never going to hold that on anyone, because I feel like every human being is an ever evolving, changing. Second millisecond after millisecond. I am, I'm never going to say, this is how this person is going to react. I don't have that ability. I'm I'm not, I don't even want that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I will never hold anyone to that, to, to say, this is what they're going to be thinking, or this is going to be their reaction. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't do that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> action as to how you're going to think. I'm not necessarily a hundred percent accurate, but I'm probably accurate </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">more often than not. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But you're saying this is the majority.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Society is this way. So let's just go with that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Leave me out of it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And you're in when you have a stable friendship or relationship </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> again, I don't think my friends ever know where I'm going to, what I'm going to do next. Honestly. Do you, do you honestly, do you, can you really read any </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> emotional reactions?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Okay. So wait a second. Wait, I know that if I was to make pancakes. And I was to leave flour everywhere in the kitchen, like just a thin layer of flour, everyone in the kitchen. And I left every pot and pan out that I used. And I made crap pancakes. I know how you're going. React </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My lips here are disappearing, folks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember when I told you when a person's lips disappear, that means they don't like what they're hearing. Okay, fine. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. I mean that, I know what emotional reaction you're going to have when you come in the kitchen, it's not going to be wow. Pancakes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but again, that's a very general, like big example talking about complex and they get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> more complex as you get into more and more </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I see. I don't like scientific studies because things change all the time, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> here's the thing, things change all the time. And while they do describe five levels, each level has an infinite number of nuances to it. Got it. So it's like, you're moving from, you're moving from, you're moving from blue to violet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not in stage fourmoving to stage five here and you're in this element, this asset, this hue of violet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Are you bringing the chakra system into play now, honey? Nope. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Nope. It's all about pickles and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">chakras. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, Guys chakra is the chakra of the Meridian Shakra (pronouncing with an sh sound) means cucumber everybody in the yoga world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when people say your "shakra" your throat chakra (pronouncing it with an sh) you're saying your throat cucumber it's it's Chuck like chocolate. Okay, bye. Next, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hold on. So stable relationships, spontaneity also factors, which is fun. I don't think I mentioned that. And then we get into. And this is just kind of the catch all last basin </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What stage are we at right now? We're in the stable, which is four. Okay. Are you, are you moving on to five by now? Okay. Let us know where you're going. I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> getting just the catchall honestly. And that's they call it God. How? Because it is social penetration theory. This would be the de-penetration stage</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">can't help it. It's just funny. And that's just what it is. , and different points in time, different words and words are funny and aren't funny, but anyways, um, and that just is when you start like withdrawing from the friend, from whatever stage you are in the friendship. And so you can literally go from a stable relationship to a exploratory affective. You can actually just regress all the way back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So number five, relationship starts breaking down. , negative emotions, negative talk starts coming in. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right? Well, this is like if we've gotten to a place and you and I disagree about something that turns out is very, very important. You think you shouldn't have to shower every day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I do now I'm kidding. We're talking about really more deep seated things that you just have a fundamental disagreement with. And I don't want to even talk about what an example of one of those, cause everything, everything in there is incendiary, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so, okay. So anything more to say on this? So that was stage five.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That would be stage five. But then they showed the onion and they said there are six, six layers, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> six layers of who you are is what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">they believe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the sixth one, the layer would be your, what, your inner self, your inner </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> most self, which is concept of self concept of self. Yes. So, you know, depending on how you view it, it's like I am the center of the universe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The world will die at my end, that kind of stuff. And that's really, you know, we start getting very Freudian Jungian or something. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, excuse me, this whole thing is very Freud. And I mean, look at the stages. You're like, you meet the person and you're like, Hey, and then you get closer and then you get to this stage and then there was penetration.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then there's de-penetration. It's this is purely from a patriarchal, Freudian. And I don't like, this is, this is the act of sex basically, but we're taking it to a friendship level or they were trying to talk about a friendship level, but like seriously talk about Freud. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They shouldn't have called it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome to the patriarchal society</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyways, but now circling back now that we're, now that we've talked about the five, I'm only really interested in the four, when things start to fall apart, things start to fall apart. And that's what it is. And it's going to stop where both parties are going to be happy with where the relationship stops.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So either you stop completely talking to each other, or you go from being best as buddies to just talking about like, oh yes, and the weather was this and your kids are doing what and just strictly kind of a fact-based thing. But anyways, not that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you think you can go from four back to a one with the same people?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. So like you developed a friendship and you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Here we go. So you think you can go from five to one, so the, it starts breaking down. Right? Right. And then can you, with the same people go back to the one, which is pure small talk. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. But again, I think in many ways it's so easy to just cast someone adrift so that you kind of have to be in that situation where this is somebody who is in your sphere enough. So you have to like play nice. So maybe this is someone in church. So you see them in church every Sunday. And you talk before the sermon begins. You know, you talk before, um, the service begins and you talk for five minutes when the service ends </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> friends though, like with major friends, who've known each other for years.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Life happens. Things happen. The world changes and you find yourself going different directions and you have fundamental disagreements and you don't want to give up this beautiful person. So you go back to the small talk. Maybe I can see that. I mean, I can't handle that, but I can see that happening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, not for me, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what do you mean not for you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you making fun of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">me? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it. If they have to ask you blown it folks. Anyways, now what's interesting is again, in their postulating, they postulated that the orientation phase and the exploratory affective phase require proximity; require you to be close to that person. Now in the 1970s, being close to somebody meant actually occupying a similar physical space.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It involved, you know, uh, you're in the same carpool group with your kids, your attending the same karate class, your again in church. I mean, you see these people frequently, but what's interesting is the world has evolved from this state.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes, yes. To both. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, there are things that are, have gotten much more, much more better, and things that have gotten much more, not better, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> much more better, babe. I did. Oh, my Orwellian today then. Okay. So what's your point? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, what does, I wonder what proximity really means nowadays? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. The past week we've been talking about is zoom</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">approximate enough. I was talking to some friends and they were arguing with me about; I don't think there's an epidemic of loneliness. So I don't see your point. And they were saying that their case is that the last two years, so many people have become friends over zoom (so have I), but their theory is that that means the end of the loneliness epidemic is here because there are plenty of people on zoom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I said, well, good for you, but no, it's like getting married and you're in the honeymoon stage. And you were like, well, I found a partner so there, you know, I got it. But then what happens when you get into the deeper realms and you have the arguments? Do we, as a society truly have all the tools? Do we really understand the art of friendship to know how to</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">maneuver and dance and move through together through the arguments and the disagreements, just because you've finally found a friend, great. That's wonderful. I just think that our society really needs to take a good look at the art of it all and understand how to maneuver and how to really hold someone; hold someone's beliefs , and not let it shatter you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? But let it, let it surprise you and elevate you and expand you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. No abs absolutely. But it's kind of weird. I was approaching this a much more superficially. I was just talking about whether or not proximity; if zoom really zoom, social media, email messaging is sufficient to kind of negate this whole 1970 style view of what proximity means. I mean, does that mean that you're in proximity to one another?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I say, yes. I say yes to a degree. I think after a while though, I totally want to be with people in person. I definitely have people that I consider sisters and we've been on zoom for two, two years. Right. Because we're all scattered around the planet. I cannot wait to get together with them, but I have to say, yeah, I would say yes, zoom is definitely being in the same room, but it's also, you can look at it at a spiritual level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you're connected, if you have that kind of connection, that spiritual connection, it is being the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">same room. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it gets fun because we're talking about kind of, I'm talking about the first two levels of a friendship or relationship, which is orientation and exploratory, oh God, a term exploratory affective, which is where you're still not sharing the core fundamental beliefs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They believe that proximity is important now where it gets interesting is proximity is not important for the later two stages affective and stable. However, they require effort. They don't require proximity, whereas stage one and two require proximity, but don't require effort. And by effort, I mean, like you have to stay in contact, on some level you have to come up with some way of staying in contact with that person, some way of staying connected to that person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is where the, advice would come in from my older friends when I was dating. Keep it light. They would always say don't reveal too much on the first few dates. Keep it light. And I think that's where the one and two are. Correct?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're not going deep and heavy and philosophical about anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're just, just have a good time, but, you can totally have a good time and be deep. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You can tell me, have a good time and be deep, but it's easier early on when you're starting to discover things about the other. If you don't start by going super deep. You start by talking about favorite TV shows and favorite musical styles, and that starts to lead you into an argument about maybe political beliefs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And other more deep seeded things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What's interesting is the social penetration theory came in the seventies and there's an even earlier theory.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">God help us now, this one, fortunately, isn't so poorly named it's called the social exchange theory. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like that much better. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. And it's bred from the fifth. And what's interesting to me as a computer programmer </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's bread?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Bred, bred out of the fifties. So it's no B R E D not B R E a D. So it was born out of the fifties.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's probably born out of the late forties, but that's a whole other story. And this is, as a computer programmer, this is the days where computers were so fascinating and they almost describe our interactions like computer programs, because a computer program can model a specific part of the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's a convenient little snippet and they started talking about like risks versus rewards and they talk about, Yeah, basically risks versus rewards and why we choose to do thing "A" over thing "B"and it's very terse and it's very, almost like if this action then that action always.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So they talk about this whole concept of a success proposition, which is, if I'm rewarded for a given action, I'll repeat it. So as a baby, if I giggle, then, I get thrown up in the air or whatever, you know, uh, my parents clap their hands. So I know if I giggle that it'll happen, but it all seems like there's so many environmental factors to it, that things become tricky. But this starts to kind of dictate, they believe dictating our behavior. So if I'm in a relationship with someone, I know if I do X, then I'll get Y back and it's very transactional. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Are you ready for my theory? Do you have anything else to add? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We'll not the success proposition of things, but then they talk about stimulus and that's kind of the other counterpoint.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It feels like to the success proposition, which is, the more often I get a given stimulus the more likely I'll respond to it, I'll do something about it. Which is interesting. And again, it kind of refers to us as this kind of one dimensional critters, but it's a convenient way of looking at things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then the last one, which destroys everything I just said is the more often I receive an award, the less valuable it becomes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let me know when you're done. I'm done. All right. So here's my theory. I just came up. You know, originally my theory was we have a problem with friendships and relationships because of the nuclear family, because of the way that we decided, especially within our culture here in the United States, because of the way we work, because of the way we have to make a living because of the way certain values came into place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, you know, a job is more valuable than a relationship because I have to feed the family. So I'm going to go over here. I may not see you, but I'm providing the family with food and shelter by working over here. And that's totally acceptable because you have a job to do. You can't come over for Thanksgiving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, that's okay if it's a job, but it's not okay if you don't feel like it. Do you know what I'm saying? Are the way we treat our children and our elders in our family, the way that society was structured because of the way we have to make a living, the way that children are born and immediately placed into daycare, the way that elders reach a certain age and they're put into daycare.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That separation; I think the loneliness epidemic stems from that. And it's not just a loneliness epidemic, but just like looking at relationships, that's where it comes from. The way we treat ourselves, the way we treat family is the way we treat our friends. And now listening to the social exchange theory, I think.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What'd you say that came from out of the 1940s and fifties? Yep. It's interesting to me because what they are valuing here is costs and rewards of relationships.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yep.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And when you go back, like our foundation for what we're talking about here with friendship is Greek and it comes from Aristotle. It comes from Aristotle's Nicomachean ethics.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When he talks about friendship, he said there are three kinds of. There is a friend that is friends with you purely because of the way they feel around you. So they feel a certain way being near you. That's why they are your friend. There's a second type of friend who is friends with you because they're getting something from you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And then there's a third friend who has to do with pure love. They just love you as a person as a whole entity, which means if you're in a bad, bad mood, they love you. You're going through hard times. They love you. You're laughing. You're having a good time. They love you. You've hit it big with money.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're now a multi gazillionaire. They love you. You're a broke and on their couch. They love you. That's the number three friend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You can morph and trans morph in any shape and they love you. That's the number three friend. I think here with the social exchange theory, where there is such an emphasis on costs and rewards and losses and gains, this is I think, where our society went into trouble, because this has subliminally or not, has become the norm or the means to success is always looking at the losses and the gains in a situation; that you look at everything in life as: is it going to benefit me or not? And I think that's not a good way to look at things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well you also have to take a look at the world of the ancient Greek versus the world of now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, honestly, I, again, theorizing on the fly here, folks, but the world of the Greek, it was almost like everybody in your proximity, you're in this, familial type relationship that you couldn't, you can't break out of. And so some people you stick in the acquaintance zone and some people you stick in the, I love you zone. And some people you stick somewhere in between, but you kind of can't escape them. And where we sit now, Anybody, I don't want to be friends with, I can unfriend on Facebook. I can not go to that market anymore. I can.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I understand that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can deny them on my phone </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you done? (Matt </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> laughs).</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I got it. I got though all the ways that you can disconnect. What I'm saying is what we're saying with the art of friendship is that our muscle for handling conflict and handling a loss and a gain is just so specific that there's no, it's just easy to just neglect. And it's also easy to just stay in something that doesn't work for you because it doesn't require a lot of momentum, a lot of work, so I can stay in a bad friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">'cause, I don't want to work at it and use my muscles to know that I deserve better than this or the other way around </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> so yeah, I would, I would argue that it's easy for me to terminate a friendship. Yeah. I can just find another one exactly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And find another, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> , we live in a disposable society. We don't go through the motions of truly knowing ourselves and valuing ourselves. So that we can just look at a person, not take everything so personally, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. I just, yeah. Going through the motions was a painful way of putting it, but I understand where you were going with it, but it's not going through the motions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's actually going through the voyage of self-discovery to figure out who you are. Going through, the motions makes it sound like it's just kind of, I'm just doing this just to do it. Syntax: it's not a problem. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Were describing that if you don't know you, if you don't truly know yourself, it's hard to have friends and you're right. But you said going through the motions of finding yourself,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's all. I was just going, I'm going back to the stage where we come into conflict, right? We have disagreements. Yes. I am saying if we are truly in your center. Spiritually in all ways, right? Physically, if you're a totally centered, it won't bother you, that Susie can come and say something outrageous to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can still love her. You don't have to be best friends with her, but it won't rock you. It won't, it won't angrify you as much. That's my own personal word. ANGRIFY</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Honestly. I think people are maybe too sensitive at this point, as far as, you know, if you disagree with me on this one point</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's kind of important to me, it starts gaining an importance in your own mind if you disagree with someone about it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, do you know why? My, my belief on why that is is because we are now in a constant state of confusion, everything is so confusing. And I think it's made to be that way in our society deliberately for a sense of control over the massive population.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But if you're, if you're constantly confused, you can't really know what your center is anymore. So I'm saying it's important to just be centered and not become so effected by someone else. And therefore you can have the capacity to be friends with someone else because you're not going to get hurt. And it sounds like I'm being superficial.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, it sounds like we're going back to the orientation stage where you're just having small talk. But what I'm saying is you can go deep. As long as you're centered. And I think this is maybe another show. See, this is why I should not talk so much because now I'm not going off on a completely other tangent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think that's fine. Again, wordsmithing it. I don't know if I would necessarily put it out that way. In what way would I say not going to be hurt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, that's what you said. You said. Stage number. I think it was two, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but I think you can stay in the safe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> zone. You don't get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hurt. Right? I think you can go further and you can stay in a zone that's further than this friend zone, so you can be hurt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But if you know yourself, you can stay friends with them. You can still </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> get majorly disappointed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. But that doesn't mean you can't, hang out, you can't be friends with them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. So those are the stages. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yep. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You can be friends, not be friends. You can have superficial friends. Can we call them, Cotton Candy Friends?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How about that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> ahhhhh...cotton candy,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know, just fun, but there are friends for every situation. I've always said this even your best, best, best friend may not have the capacity to be your friend at every stage in life. They don't have the capacity for that. That's why it's important to have a community. Because Holly may not handle my whatever I'm going through that may be heavy all the time. So I need to talk to a Bertha, spread it out a little bit, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes no argument. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But the joy that should be going to everybody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So every time you have something wonderful happen, call everybody up, text everybody up and say, yo, this happened. Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. The really heavy stuff. I think that we should be judicious </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> selective </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and parceling it out here </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and there</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but it's important to get it out. Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I thought I could wrap this up. Like I thought I had a pretty little bow, but I think that's it. What do you think? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Certainly interesting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Certainly something to consider. I thought it was fascinating that certain aspects of friendship, at least to these guys requires proximity and proximity shifts all the time, but it still does. And then the others definitely require effort. So if it was me and the big lesson I take away from this is for the people I want to stay close, to get close to. A) I have to make myself vulnerable. B) I got to put in some effort </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and the effort is actually fun.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But you have to do it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. That's it I think, let us know what you think. Reach out to us, you know, our site, https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/ there's a little button to support our show https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace. Let us know how we can support you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I would love to have zoom meetings in person with you. All you have to do is email me the email is on our website https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/. Reach out we're here waiting for you. All right. We love you. Thank you so much for listening again. Wendy, love you! Talk to you later. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Social penetration was theorized in the seventies by two sociologists trying to figure out how people become friends and attempting to categorize different kinds of classifications of friends. We break down five stages of friendship today to better understand our relationships.
 
#ErwinAltman, #universityofUtah, #DolmasTaylor, #universityofDelaware, #socialpenetrationtheory, #sociology, #orientationphase, #affectversuseffect, #deepfriendships, #relationships, #stablestage, #de-penetrationstage, #conceptofself, #society, #friendship, #spiritualconnection, #socialmedia, #zoom, #exploratoryaffective, #socialexchangetheory, #successproposition, #costsandrewardsofrelationships, #Aristotle'sNicomacheanethics, #cottoncandyfriends
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Hi everybody. Welcome back. Hello. Welcome to our friendly world. Have a beautiful every day. Are you having a beautiful day, a beautiful evening. Beautiful afternoon. Um, do it. Hi everyone. So Matt, Matt's going to kick it off today with a horrible, horrible, nasty title.
[00:00:26] Matt: Thanks for that
[00:00:27] Fawn: I mean, you didn't make it up, but go figure the patriarchy did, right? From the what? 1950s, seventies, 1970s. Same difference. 
[00:00:37] Matt: Seventies was a very different time than the fifties. 
[00:00:39] Fawn: So who are these guys? Erwin Altman of the university of Utah. And Dolmas Taylor of the university of Delaware. We have no idea how these guys knew each other.
Were they friends? I don't know. Do you know? Absolutely. 
[00:00:53] Matt: But they were researchers. Yes. 
[00:00:56] Fawn: Sociologists. So check it out, guys. Take it away. 
Matt, 
[00:00:59] Matt: social penetration theory. 
[00:01:02] Fawn: ewe. 
[00:01:03] Matt: Yeah, exactly. There is a little aspect of, oh dear. 
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:50:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Quiet Friend - Speaking Up in Defense of Others or Having Our heads in the Sand?]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Mar 2022 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-quiet-friend-speaking-up-in-defense-of-others-or-having-our-heads-in-the-sand</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-quiet-friend-speaking-up-in-defense-of-others-or-having-our-heads-in-the-sand</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>When is it OK to be quiet? When someone is hurting, is it OK to be quiet? When you know there is injustice, do you go about your day and just focus on yourself? If you lived in Europe before WWII and you noticed your friends and neighbors disappearing, would you go about your business and think, "Oh well, I am going to focus on my own breath and well-being and that is the outside world I have no control of"?????</p>
<p>In our previous episode, our guest kept saying that we are not responsible for the world and that we are only responsible for ourselves. I TOTALLY DISAGREE. Although I know it is essential for a person to be well centered and strong in order to help others, I feel that we are interconnected and that we are here in life, together, and even if it is through some unseen force, I am here to help and provide comfort and support for all of life.</p>
<p>Our talk today comes out of the last episode we did with Sharon  Caren. I got really quiet. for those of you who know me, well, I usually will just state my opinion, and stand up for stuff. But out of respect for Sharon, I got quiet because I also felt like maybe I was being misunderstood and as I was feeling more and more upset, I got quieter because I did not want to fight with our guest. I respect her and I think she is a wonderful healer. I just did not like that I got quiet and that I did not speak up (although I did try).</p>
<p>This episode is my chance to discuss the ramifications of quiet as well as the good ways of quiet as we use the beautiful children's picture book by <span class="author notFaded"><span class="a-declarative"><a class="a-link-normal contributorNameID" href="https://www.amazon.com/Deborah-Underwood/e/B001IQWI00/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1">Deborah Underwood</a>  </span><span class="contribution"><span class="a-color-secondary">(Author), </span></span></span><span class="author notFaded"><a class="a-link-normal" href="https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_book_2?ie=UTF8&amp;field-author=Renata+Liwska&amp;text=Renata+Liwska&amp;sort=relevancerank&amp;search-alias=books">Renata Liwska</a> <span class="contribution"><span class="a-color-secondary">(Illustrator),</span></span></span> to steer our conversation about this topic. I introduce you to The Quiet Friend". Please email me and let me know your point of view.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/</a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It was running the whole time, this little stopwatch, that we keep track of how long the show runs. And I had it on yesterday cause I was on the exercise bike and but it was running. And so when I took a look at it this morning, it was still running.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so when I actually hit stop and then restart in my head, I hear a little voice going: "oh man!" so like the little, the little man in the computer thought he was doing something super cool and useful going, oh my God, I can't believe the stop-watch is running this long and this long and this long and getting more and more excited.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then he finds out that I, the quote-unquote user just boom, boom. And he realized everything was pointless. And so he's like, oh God, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Poor guy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:40]</span> <span></span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[When is it OK to be quiet? When someone is hurting, is it OK to be quiet? When you know there is injustice, do you go about your day and just focus on yourself? If you lived in Europe before WWII and you noticed your friends and neighbors disappearing, would you go about your business and think, "Oh well, I am going to focus on my own breath and well-being and that is the outside world I have no control of"?????
In our previous episode, our guest kept saying that we are not responsible for the world and that we are only responsible for ourselves. I TOTALLY DISAGREE. Although I know it is essential for a person to be well centered and strong in order to help others, I feel that we are interconnected and that we are here in life, together, and even if it is through some unseen force, I am here to help and provide comfort and support for all of life.
Our talk today comes out of the last episode we did with Sharon  Caren. I got really quiet. for those of you who know me, well, I usually will just state my opinion, and stand up for stuff. But out of respect for Sharon, I got quiet because I also felt like maybe I was being misunderstood and as I was feeling more and more upset, I got quieter because I did not want to fight with our guest. I respect her and I think she is a wonderful healer. I just did not like that I got quiet and that I did not speak up (although I did try).
This episode is my chance to discuss the ramifications of quiet as well as the good ways of quiet as we use the beautiful children's picture book by Deborah Underwood  (Author), Renata Liwska (Illustrator), to steer our conversation about this topic. I introduce you to The Quiet Friend". Please email me and let me know your point of view.
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/
Transcript 
[00:00:00] Matt: It was running the whole time, this little stopwatch, that we keep track of how long the show runs. And I had it on yesterday cause I was on the exercise bike and but it was running. And so when I took a look at it this morning, it was still running.
And so when I actually hit stop and then restart in my head, I hear a little voice going: "oh man!" so like the little, the little man in the computer thought he was doing something super cool and useful going, oh my God, I can't believe the stop-watch is running this long and this long and this long and getting more and more excited.
And then he finds out that I, the quote-unquote user just boom, boom. And he realized everything was pointless. And so he's like, oh God, 
[00:00:39] Fawn: Poor guy. 
[00:00:40] ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Quiet Friend - Speaking Up in Defense of Others or Having Our heads in the Sand?]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>When is it OK to be quiet? When someone is hurting, is it OK to be quiet? When you know there is injustice, do you go about your day and just focus on yourself? If you lived in Europe before WWII and you noticed your friends and neighbors disappearing, would you go about your business and think, "Oh well, I am going to focus on my own breath and well-being and that is the outside world I have no control of"?????</p>
<p>In our previous episode, our guest kept saying that we are not responsible for the world and that we are only responsible for ourselves. I TOTALLY DISAGREE. Although I know it is essential for a person to be well centered and strong in order to help others, I feel that we are interconnected and that we are here in life, together, and even if it is through some unseen force, I am here to help and provide comfort and support for all of life.</p>
<p>Our talk today comes out of the last episode we did with Sharon  Caren. I got really quiet. for those of you who know me, well, I usually will just state my opinion, and stand up for stuff. But out of respect for Sharon, I got quiet because I also felt like maybe I was being misunderstood and as I was feeling more and more upset, I got quieter because I did not want to fight with our guest. I respect her and I think she is a wonderful healer. I just did not like that I got quiet and that I did not speak up (although I did try).</p>
<p>This episode is my chance to discuss the ramifications of quiet as well as the good ways of quiet as we use the beautiful children's picture book by <span class="author notFaded"><span class="a-declarative"><a class="a-link-normal contributorNameID" href="https://www.amazon.com/Deborah-Underwood/e/B001IQWI00/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1">Deborah Underwood</a>  </span><span class="contribution"><span class="a-color-secondary">(Author), </span></span></span><span class="author notFaded"><a class="a-link-normal" href="https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_book_2?ie=UTF8&amp;field-author=Renata+Liwska&amp;text=Renata+Liwska&amp;sort=relevancerank&amp;search-alias=books">Renata Liwska</a> <span class="contribution"><span class="a-color-secondary">(Illustrator),</span></span></span> to steer our conversation about this topic. I introduce you to The Quiet Friend". Please email me and let me know your point of view.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/</a></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It was running the whole time, this little stopwatch, that we keep track of how long the show runs. And I had it on yesterday cause I was on the exercise bike and but it was running. And so when I took a look at it this morning, it was still running.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so when I actually hit stop and then restart in my head, I hear a little voice going: "oh man!" so like the little, the little man in the computer thought he was doing something super cool and useful going, oh my God, I can't believe the stop-watch is running this long and this long and this long and getting more and more excited.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then he finds out that I, the quote-unquote user just boom, boom. And he realized everything was pointless. And so he's like, oh God, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Poor guy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> know. See that's adorable. I don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like being </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> adorable. There was a little person in there, like no, the little person in their hip, and now I'm seeing the little person in there is adorable, like running, keeping your time for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. And you so nonchalantly. I don't need that anymore. See, that's how I thought about the paperclip guy. Do you remember the pay-per-click guy?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He might be coming back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Clippies coming, but I loved Clippy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I didn't like Clippy, but there was this genie that I saw once in a conference and the genie would like do magical things for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I love that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I prefer that to Clippy, a paperclips. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I love the paperclip. It helped you with word documents. If it sensed that you needed some help, this paperclip with big eyes would show up with the eyebrows, like filled with expression. It would show up and help you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, do you need my help? And I always needed Clippy's help. And because I didn't understand how to do any function. Right. Like everything was a fight that when Clippy showed up and it calmed me down and I almost would like be weepy, like, thank you, Clippy. Thank you, Mr. Paperclip.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it was this little paperclip with arms and legs and big eyes. It was so adorable. The </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> first time I saw him click him away and say, never bring him back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So rude! Poor Clippy, I love Clippy. And then they got rid of him. I guess everyone felt like you did well. That's like the shows that I love out there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Any show I love gets canceled, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> quote, unquote, snarky and smart and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's very easy to cast something down. It's hard to raise something up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So check us out. We've already digressed from the show. We haven't even started. Good morning, everybody. Good evening. Good afternoon. Hi everybody. Welcome to our friendly world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This show today. Our talk today, it comes out of the last episode we did with Sharon Sharon Caren. I got really quiet. for those of you who know me, well, I usually will just, I have a foul mouth and I'll, I'll, uh, I'll state my opinion, you know, and I'll fight for stuff. Right. But out of respect for Sharon, I got quiet because I also felt like maybe I was being misunderstood .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it was going to turn into a fight. I felt like, because I don't know, there were so many emotions there. So doing that and by the way, I edited it a lot. Sorry guys. I usually don't. I usually leave everything in and I make sure that if there are some distracting sounds in the background, I get rid of those, you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But, and then I have to edit to make sure that transcripts are somewhat decent. So if someone is hard of hearing, they can actually read what was being said. That's my editing process that takes forever. But in this case, I actually took out a chunk of stuff that was said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I took it out because I just thought if someone comes in, who's never heard our show before. It was not, it was not okay . Does that make sense? Do you agree? I mean, you have not heard the final, final edit yet, this led us into a lot of conversations this week with friends, because I was feeling so distraught over</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">should I edit? Should I even not even run the episode? What should I do? Am I being disrespectful to Sharon? I feel like I'm being disrespectful to humanity for not speaking. And the whole thing came out of this concept and this concept being that it doesn't matter what's happening in the world. You're just responsible for yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You need to center and be okay within yourself. Don't worry about anything on the outside world. I highly disagree with this. I understand that you have to be centered first. I understand you have to be healthy of mind, body and spirit before you can truly help anyone else. I'm going beyond that. I'm not living there guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am worldcentric in my, my desire. I am here because we're all interconnected. We are interconnected. So why are you just going to say, I'm just going to take care of myself and my own vibration. No, I am here to help. I am here embracing all of us as one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your body is my body, and there was such a disagreement on the episode and it wasn't going to go anywhere if I argued. So I just got quiet. Because I didn't want to argue. And also because I don't, I didn't want to be disrespectful. And I felt like, you know, me, Matt, like I don't fight well, I'm like a Chewbacca.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am, I don't know how to debate very well. You're a great debater. I can not do that. I will turn into a maniac that will want to break things. So while this happened, I'm trying to calmly understand how to maneuver this thing. How do I maneuver? How do you talk to a friend that is not even a hearing what you're saying, assuming that you're some dumb ass, please forgive me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you have kids, Martine makes sure the kids are out of the room. I may curse today. I may. I'm sorry. I already said one bad word. I apologize. But do you know what I mean? Like, so I forgot what I was saying. What was, I think, how do you. I just, how do you deal with someone that thinks that you're ignorant, that you don't know what the hell they're talking about?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And in fact, you very well know what they're talking about, and you're trying to explain your view. I got quiet. I ended up talking to some friends trying to understand Sharon's perspective. How can we have a conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And am I hallucinating? Like, did she think this of me? Or was she just trying to explain this is her work? And she just wants to stick in a very one dimensional way to what she always talks about. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Things that need to be discussed in our society right now. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. But these things are uncomfortable to discuss. And you know, were you and Sharon in a place where you had gotten to that level of depth, were you past the acquaintance aspects of friendship and had you actually started getting into all that kind of stuff?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We're not close friends. We just met recently so I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there's, there's also a presumption, I think in society in general, some cultures more so than others, but the older you are, the wiser, you automatically become.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Which is a fallacy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That is so not true, yeah, you're right. It's a fallacy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They talk well, I've talked and people talk, but in certainly in my profession, it's like, you can have your first year, five years in a row because you're learning all brand new stuff, all new terminology, all new philosophies, everything. And so, you can actually stay in that beginner's, skill, not a beginner mindset because a beginner mindset is important, but a beginner skillset for a long time in your career, depending on, the paths you take.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that this happens with people also in general. It's like, if you're never challenged, you don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">grow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Remember that. So you're are you, I'm sorry. I'm spacing out. I think I listened to 50% of what you just said, because I'm still so emotional about what happened in that conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So please forgive me. So I'm just going to equate it to something, but I think I only heard 50% of what you just said. So here's the thing, it's kind of like what they taught in martial arts, that when you become a master black belt, you go back to white belt. So you're always a beginner, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's beginners.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then there's beginners. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the way I've always operated is going from a state where someone , would think if he didn't know me would think I was ignorant. If you didn't know me would think that I was so innocent, you know, like, I don't know what I'm talking about, or I don't know this subject where in fact I have studied it, but it's and it's in everything</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you know, like it's in baking a pie with a friend who has never seen you bake a pie and doesn't know that, Hey, um, I have actually worked as a professional pastry chef. Right. And then you invite them over to make pie and they think you've never made pie, but you haven't said, Hey, look, I'm actually a professional, but I just stood there and go, okay, what, what's the next step?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What's the next step? And they treated me like, wow, you don't know how to bake, you know, and many years later still thinking that they taught me how to bake, but I'm not going to say you didn't teach me how to bake. Do you know what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's again, it's a beginner mindset. It's like, okay. I've always approached the problem from way over here on the left.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this time I'm going to approach the problem all the way over here on the right. And see if I end up in a better place or worst place or just, I get better understanding of what's happened. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What are you saying? I can't concentrate today. What are you saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, okay. So you know exactly how you would make a pie, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the pie turns out, looking exactly the way you expect it to. Case in point. When my mom bakes pie, an apple pie, the crust is a big dome over this thinner layer of apples because she doesn't pre cook the apples. So the apples baked down inside the crust and the crust hardens. Whereas normally when a person bakes a pie, that crust is right on top of the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">apples.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, it's not, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, you're still making a pie, you're still making the pie. But if you went through and, and were instructed by say my mom, you would be like, just because you wanted to learn a different way to make a pie. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But you're like, you're diverging from what I'm saying, what I'm saying is the person treats you like an imbecile because they think that you don't know how to bake a pie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they, they Lord that over you. Like they are the master and you're nothing. That's what I'm saying. And that w that is one of my deal breakers is if someone cannot see the depth of each human being the depth of me and in our friendship, it's a deal breaker. That's one of the things that starts crumbling in our friendship, that if they keep that up, and assume that about me. I'm assuming they, then I assume that that's how superficial they are, that they're not really seeing. I'm like, I can't have that kind of person in my tight inner circle because they're not seeing, they're not listening. They're not hearing, they're not paying attention. You know what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what I'm saying. I don't want to get into the crust and the dome and all that, because really today we're talking about the quiet friend and, and of course this came from the last episode, right. And I've always said, quiet is there's good and bad to quiet. There's very dangerous, quiet. And there's good quiet. And of course when Sharon was talking, I wanted to say, I wanted to bring up all these instances in history and modern day of why we shouldn't be saying, I'm just going to stick to my own vibration. I'm just going to take care of myself and the world; I can't change the world. I so disagree with that. I got really upset.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I got quiet and it was the bad kind of quiet. Right. And you know, me, Matt, when I get quiet, you better watch out. I'm not saying this against Sharon. I'm just saying that there are different forms of quiet for me. I'm a big meditator. So I am quiet, but best believe if there's a, there's a situation where there's a fight, let's say an argument and I get quiet,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it's not good. So as I was saying, what I wanted to bring up with Sharon was the cases in history, for example, talking about all the different genocides that have occurred on the planet with so many different cultures.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you're going to be quiet about that. So there are people being killed right next door to you being plucked away and made to disappear. And you're just going to go, ah, I'm just going to focus on myself. What no! I wanted to get into these aspects. And because I'm so angry, I'm going to bring in a children's picture book into our conversation today, because I don't want to talk about, I don't want to bring in the genocide.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't want to bring in all the horrible atrocities that have happened to say, look, this is my point. Okay. Let's because we all know we're we're past that. So I'm just going to go straight to the point. And I'm going to use "The Quiet Book" as our example today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know that book as a children's picture book. I love this book so much. I bought two copies. We have a beautiful library of children's picture books. And as I was buying. For Elle and Allegra when they were that age, right. You're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> buying them for Elle and Allegra.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The truth is I was buying them for myself and I'm still buying them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">of all the books that I read, they're the ones I turned to for advice. Children's picture books have the most beautiful messages in them. The quiet book by Deborah Underwood, this book, the illustrations are beautiful illustrated by Renata Lisky L I w S K a what? A beautiful book. So I'm going to go through this book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to go through the examples of quiet, talk about them a little bit, and then after that we're getting into good, quiet and bad. Quiet. Okay. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The book opens up: the first one awake quiet. You know, like when you wake up to a, an epiphany, when you wake up in the morning or you're the first person, perhaps in your group to have a realization that this is wrong, or this is right, but it's, it's a new thought form.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All of a sudden, a different perspective that quiet, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I woke up actually this morning with a full moon beaming on me. So that was, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was there and I asked you, are we going to go insane? Like, isn't there, isn't there a thing that says folklore </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that says, if you sleep under a full moon, you will go crazy. But yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anyways, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there's the jelly side down quiet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">my poor little guy inside the device when I hit reset on the stopwatch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, oh man, when, when, when something happens and you're like, oh man, but it's not just the oh man, not only did your sandwich fall down, but the jelly side down fell down. So not only do you have to pick up the sandwich and you don't get to eat that sandwich anymore because it's dirty now, but you have to clean up the floor several times because it is so sticky and gooey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So there goes another 20 minutes right there and you're still hungry; the jelly side down quiet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't scare the robyn quiet. Remember? We lived on Bainbridge island for awhile. We had a house there. Remember when we would walk out and all of a sudden you'd see something. And then something was this beautiful deer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're both frozen, just staring at each other and you don't like, I didn't want to move because I didn't want to scare the deer. I wanted the deer to stay. Right. And the deer probably thought, oh my God, this person could have killed them. Right. But that quiet, that exists while you're like staring at each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. For me, it's slightly different because I remember I was at a park with my buddy Mario and would probably throw on her Frisbee. I don't remember. But all of a sudden this squirrel came running past, hold on. This is where it gets a little sad. His poor little head was in a chip bag and he couldn't get it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he was freaking out because he was hearing all this craziness. And so we had to be so quiet and I tried to grab that bag and I couldn't do it because I just wasn't fast enough. But Mario did it. So that was really flipping cool. It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> good of Mario.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Others telling us secret quiet. No good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Secrets are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">double-edged swords </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">sometimes there are good secrets.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So this is the, this is telling, hold on. This is telling a secret quiet. So you're whispering, right? Right. If you go either a good or bad, I mean, that's for the followup conversation, but I was teaching Allegra some math. Right. And it was hard. There were tears that day, right? You had a tantrum.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, I did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Allegra was crying. Then I had a tantrum towards you. Like, what are you doing? Can't get upset. She doesn't understand it. So Allegra and I went over, so this is our little secret. We were going through the math book. And it was hard, but we were, I was breaking it down. The way I teach is very rogue, by the way, thank God for homeschooling because I would get fired if I was a regular teacher in school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I whispered in her ear a secret about math, and I said, math is your bitch. And I whispered that in her ear, she started laughing. But that's our little secret, like a whisper things like that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> now to be fair. I also spent time with her that day on math. I know I had a good time doing it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. But like everybody had to calm down </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I did have a tantrum first, but anyway, I did.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, next next </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">coloring in the lines quiet when you're trying to just figure something out and you know how to do it, but you're just doing your work. I love that quiet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, when you're focused on a task and you know, you know that task and there's no real question about that task. So you just go for it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thinking of the reason you were drawing on the wall quiet. Ooh. When you've done something </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">bad </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> self introspection, like when you do something self-destructive for sure was like, why did I do that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I haven't had that kind of thought in a while. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, no, I remember that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> knock on wood. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> When I was, when I was really little, my parents had these wooden chairs or rather they were upholstered, but they had wood on the sides.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And one day, I don't know why I grabbed a paperclip and I just started gouging the side of it. And it was like, I think it was, it was somewhere in close to my space and not around their space, but then later they brought the chairs down. And every time I saw what I had done, I was like, oh man, I think I got yelled at, but it wasn't, it wasn't good enough because I still felt guilty.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Hide and seek quiet when you know, you're both playing the game and it's like, you know, that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> kind of quiet going to hold someone's hand in the movie theater, like yeah. Nevermind. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Last one to get picked up from school quiet. Oh my God. That's me. And not just about, this is not about picking, getting, did you, did I, did you want to say something else about the last quiet?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why are you looking like that? Because it's a sad, quiet. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's like everybody, else's like having fun like la la la la and then one by one, they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">disappear and then </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, but the thing is, this is what I was experiencing this week was the last one being picked, quiet. Like everybody else's career has become successful and here I am, I'm still sitting here working, working, working, praying, praying, praying, hustling, hustling, hustling, and you know, it's like being the last one, picked up from school, quiet and you feel like you're the only one left. Everything seems to be a struggle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I have to keep reminding myself of all the wins, you know, of all the gifts, but still feeling like, oh, I'm the last one left, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? I was never the last picked up, but in college, like the finals week was Monday to Friday. No big deal. On Monday, a certain percentage of people would disappear from school because they were done on Tuesday, another percentage would disappear. And so slowly but surely the school would empty out. And I remember once or twice, I was there on a Thursday and Friday, and it just felt like no one was there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. It's like, nowadays let's bring this back to present time. What are you feeling present time each quiet that I'm going to bring up from Debra Underwood's book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's stick with modern day. So when you're listening to these, just think about what's happening now in that sense of quiet. Acknowledge what you're feeling. So like I'm feeling left behind with career and everyone else seems to be totally soaring, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So that was getting picked up from school quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Swimming, underwater. Quiet I love that. Oh my God. I haven't been swimming lately. So, well, just think about the feeling. Think about the feeling of swimming under water. You have entered another realm, another world, and everything is slower. Everything sounds different. It's still quiet at first. But then in that quiet, you start to notice all these other sounds that you would never experience outside of the water. It's beautiful. Everything is in slow motion. You can slow life down, but then you realize, wow, that's life under here all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you can access it anytime, you wish.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Should I go on? Yeah. Pretending you're invisible, quiet. Let me tell you I've done this so many times that it was on auto mode. And then one day I was like, why does everyone ignore me? I stand in line. People constantly cut in front of me. Like they don't even realize I'm standing there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I realized, oh my God, I practiced the art of being invisible in crowds. Like, so I wouldn't bring attention to myself right, for so long that I forgot to take that program off of myself. And I had to revisit that and go, okay, I want to be noticed now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, there are two ways that people practice being invisible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One is blending into their surroundings and the other is being invisible, being truly invisible. So if had you chosen to blend into your surroundings, which I think for you is difficult</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> impossible,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> then people would have still noticed you on some level, they would have still registered your existence, but you were so focused on people not seeing you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Lollipop, quiet. Ah, I would say tiramisu. Quiet. Oh my gosh. When you something that's so delicious when you're, it's really interesting. I'm sorry. I'm cutting you off. Hold on to your thought, but like sitting at a table and usually there's loud ruckus conversation, but when everyone's eating, that's when, you know, everyone needs to eat, like everyone was hungry and it's kind of sweet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like it's sweet when, especially if you're the one who, who has made the delicacy, the meal, and all you hear is quiet nourishment is a special kind of satisfying, appealing. What were you going to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> say? Can I talk about, for me not lollipop, it's more about ice cream bar, quiet, but. Where you're just so focused on and there is a time element to it because obviously your ice cream will melt and get all all over you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there's that stress of, I got to enjoy this really quick. There's no stress, baby. Oh, there's stress for me. Like I want to make it less. I want to make it last, but I don't want to, I don't want to quickly like, cause it's dripping </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">okay. First look at your new hairstyle, quiet first look.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. So I have long hair. I've had long hair forever, but once upon a time, about six years ago, I shaved my head bald. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That was a little tough. That was tough on all of us. I know. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That was a little tough to look at. Take in. Right. But anyways, as long again, so. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, but yeah, that, that incident where you're, you just feel remorse or just upset or, or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you're just coming to grips with how you look, because you can just look completely different </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or you can say in that quiet, like, is this really me?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wow. It's beautiful. Right? Exactly. It could go either way. It could go either way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sleeping sister quiet. Okay. Let's I mean, we don't, we don't, we don't have to take these literally like sleeping sister, quiet. Yeah. When things are just peaceful. Quiet. Next. Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> okay. Here. Um, I wake up super mega early and by super mega early, I mean like 4, 4 30.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just a Nutter. So it's about not waking you up when I get out of bed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So like tiptoeing around, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> which of course inevitably fails. I inevitably stub my toe fall over something or knock into something. But yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Remember when Elle was just born and we were so tired, we just wanted her to sleep. And I remember this one day we finally tucked her in and she finally fell asleep.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You go over to, to take off your trousers, your jeans and all the change you had in there. And we had hardwood floors, they all fell out and it, it seemed to go on for hours, like in the rolling, like once they stopped bouncing the rolling in all different directions. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> funny. Now </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I could not, I mean, okay, right before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay, right before you yell, surprise, quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">That moment, yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That moment of exploitation where everything's just quiet for sure. I can equate that very easily to my hole in one in disc golf. Cause I can't let that go. I love that. I throw a hole in one once. I remember after I released it and I watched it just that stillness right there as I watched it curve and went straight in and then just that sense of complete disbelief.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was awesome. Uh, and also like if you're with a bunch of people, the fact that you're in unison like that excitement, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> nobody could believe I did </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it, but like let's just go to a surprise party situation. It's like having a song that you're all singing together in perfect pitch, perfect harmony. And that sense of quiet, you all have. And you instinctively know when to yell, surprise together. It is such a sense of collaboration , you know, it's sweet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. Making a wish, quiet. I love that. Like it's a respected the world, the universe, your friends, respect that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, let's imagine you're blowing out your birthday candle and you're making a wish right before you do. That sense of honor and respect that occurs in that silence. I love that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. You know, I remember I would, there's, there's a particular nursery rhyme that goes along with when the first star you see and you make a wish on it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I would say that, and then people around me would get quiet as I actually made my wish Starlight star bright first star I see tonight. I wish I may. I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Tick, tick, tick. Good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ready for the next one? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Top of the rollercoaster. Quiet. Oh my God. To me, I associate this with like the eye of the hurricane, quiet when it's quiet, but you know, some stuff is going to go down. It could be good or bad. Right. But right before the storm, quiet is what it reminds me of. Going to the top of the rollercoaster where, you know, all of a sudden there's going to be a drop. Some people could be happy about it, but me personally, I'm like, I hate roller coasters. I'm like, oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> gosh. Yeah. I like roller coasters. And honestly, for the longest time, I actually thought that they built a pause when you hit the top. But it turns out it's just probably my mind spinning at like a hundred miles an hour at that moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're at the top going </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">awesome. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then you're dealing with, would it be inertia? Does inertia work for gravity like that? Do you know what I mean? Like you think you're going one way and then you get pulled over to this way and your body goes this other way. Nevermind. But like, it know I tend to, I tend to take things to the stressful level, but it could also be beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like the quiet on top of the rollercoaster is all of a sudden seeing a beautiful view. But for me, that quiet is, oh, there's going to be a drop or, oh, how am I going to make it down this mountain that have climbed or. Where do I go next? Where are we headed? That kind of quiet that you're suspended; suspended in time suspended in between. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The next one is best friends don't need to talk quiet. I love this because, it's good to have a partner in life because there you're a witness in life. So you don't have to explain the same stuff over and over again, like, you know, the history, you know, what's up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when something else happens, you all have the same point of reference. So you don't have to waste time discussing what happened in the past. You just know and you move forward from there. I love that. Best friends. Don't need to talk quiet. How about you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's just it, you develop shorthand certainly on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So how I like to think of it with, with your friends, with your partner, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">for sure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you can just move on with life. You don't have to go regurgitate something. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Although sometimes I feel a need to explain then you're like, I know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right. I don't understand why you need to explain it again, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">yeah, I get it. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Next one is surprise visit from aunt Tilly quiet. When someone shows up that you're not expecting quiet, I could go good or bad. Like whoa. Something just showed up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">definitely true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's see. I'm trying to think of present day. Like, well that happened. I can't think of anything right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I feel like it happens a lot</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I have one. Did it just happen recently? So, um, my sister's husband sent us a gift for Christmas. Did not expect it didn't even know who it was from. It just came in a box. It wasn't wrapped in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They Amazoned us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They Amazoned us., but I had to basically take a look and start looking at how I return it in order to find out who sent it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was like, who is this? And then click, click, click. And then it clicked over, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay, next do iguanas bite, quiet. Like you go into a situation. You're like, oh oh, is this going to bite me or will it be nice? So you come face to face with something in life. It's not the case. Like. Do you bite, you can take that with a job with everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, I feel like I go through that all day, every day Do iguanas bite? Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. And when you start a new job, you really get a sense of what the job is really going to be like in your first week. And it, you tend to be quieter your first week, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> mean, you know, you've the first time you meet someone, like the first time I met you, I thought you were a motorcycle gangster.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I thought you were some crazy, like, um, violent looking person, you know what I mean? And I had the same reaction, like, what what's he doing? Well, well, I thought, well, maybe it's not. Do you know what I mean? I was still starting to learn about Aikido. I didn't really know how peaceful it was. I just saw you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay, next. Before the concert starts quiet. Oh man. Lord, we brought up concert. Matt, Matt is in, a realm right now. Okay. Do you want to pontificate or shall we go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> on, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">is it a certain bands I've seen, an interesting number of times and they start their show in much the same way. Like you hear the sound check and the sound check is always the same you can actually hear, and it's not the singer doing the sound check.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Somebody else. I hear </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it in my head right now. The violin is checking the P the tuning, the whatever you call it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And then typically, um, every band has their own kind of, uh, an intro. Like what's interesting is like, I remember Rush. They like to do the three Stooges. Hello, hello, hello. And then everything gets quiet for a second.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then the crowd starts to cheer and then the lights go on and they start, oh. Cause like, you know, you're about to be treated to an experience, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right? You, that that is a beautiful metaphor for. Every day, all day life. If you think about it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right, next one. Here's here's me trying not to hiccup quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this was me on our last episode, but the hiccup was like, I was just trying not to say anything kind of quiet because I felt like it would have been just a bunch of hiccups and not heard or understood because I couldn't finish the thought. I couldn't finish the sentence. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I just think about it literally because ladies and gentlemen of our audience, I have the loudest hiccups in the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They are very scary. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> literally sounds like I'm breaking something inside my body. It's that loud and it doesn't hurt and I really enjoy it, but there are ways you can do. I do, because it's like, it's almost like a lion's roar. It's like, here I am. And because it's quote unquote involuntary, cause it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, I can't control it. However, there are ways you can keep your hiccups from making noise. And so I'll do that in instances, but if I'm talking all of a sudden that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay, but trying not to hiccup quiet when things need to be quiet and you need to see you're diverging when you need to be quiet and you are hiccuping.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You know, I, but I needed to be quiet even though every instinct in my body and my spirit was saying, no. All right, try not to hiccup quiet as a challenge. Good Lord, which is us. Now, we're going to have like five shows based on the fact that I couldn't speak on one episode. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">First snowfall, quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I love this when things shift and all of a sudden little snowflakes are falling. If you've ever been. in a snow falling situation. Everything is quiet. I can always tell, like when I go to sleep and I wake up in the middle of the night or I wake up early, early in the morning, usually at all times of the night, we can hear traffic, but when there's snow, everything is muffled.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everything is turned down even people's emotions. And the quiet is so beautiful that you can hear every snowflake touching another. It is beautiful. First snowfall, quiet. Anything to add. Matt has nothing to add to this one. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. Car ride at night, quiet. They could go either way. For me, it's terrifying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't like driving at night, so I'm very quiet. My eyes are big wide, right? I just want to get to wherever we're getting. But yeah, car ride quiet either again, it can go either way. It could be, uh, a very blissful feeling or a kind of a stressful feeling, but you don't want to make noise cause you don't want to distract or you don't want to make noise because it's so mysterious and beautiful, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, no, no, absolutely. I used to get in my teens, I would love going and just jumping in the car and driving because I had my own space and I had control and I had.dot dot. And then later when we lived in LA, I actually really enjoyed like first thing in the morning going for a ride. And I remember one time I rode my bike swear to goodness from, um, my place, which was in west LA to Dodger stadium.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You've talked about this so many times it was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> empty. It was just, there was, there was, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think that is one of your most favorite moments. It was a life. Cause you keep bringing it up. Okay. It's just, there's a lot to it, but you're taking things so literally</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know I can't help it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm yeah. You take things literally.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm like, isn't this life, what's a metaphor. Okay. Let's keep going.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Too many bubbles, quiet. Now this is the scene in the book where there are way too many bubbles in the bathtub and it's overflowed on the ground. So you have beautiful bubbles. Lovely. And then you notice, oh my goodness. It's everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's on the floor. It's probably going to go to the next floor underneath you. It's beautiful, but oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well it's feels like a cavalcade of fun in our kitchen when we're baking. Sometimes stuff </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is everywhere and it's not quiet though. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, the moment you realize that flour is everywhere, it can get quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But I like, yeah, an overflowing of abundance, quiet. Like how are you going to manage it? Quiet. All right. Next one is</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Storytime quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And from here, the book goes into tucking into bed, bedtime, kiss. What flashlight sound quiet and then deep asleep quiet. And that's the book. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So now let's get into the quiet friend. I've always said when I'm bearing my soul to you, when I'm telling you something that's been so painful for me, and I've just opened up my entire life to you or my entire pain to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you are quiet, it really throws me off the deep end. It's not okay for me. Yet, we have friends that are psychotherapists and psychologists who say that quiet is space that's good. And I'm saying, well, if I was your client, I'm telling you right now, you better not be quiet. Once I tell you a, B and C of like major trauma.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you're just sitting there staring and nodding at me, I'm about to have a major way worse panic attack than I already do have I can't have you be quiet. I need you to tell me something, make a sound, make a sound to let me know that you heard me, that you understand my pain. Don't be quiet please. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But there are those thoughts that go out that, that they just need.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just a moment. They need a beat or two beats or three beats to just echo. No, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> have. But that needs to be really carefully thought out because usually it's not just a few moments, it's just pure silence. And that is horrible. Yes. Because let me tell you, coming from a person that has experienced trauma, I have been alone in that you feel like you're in a black hole, you feel like there's no life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's nothing. Can't hear anything you can't see straight. You can't, you're stuck. You're in a continuous void. So if there's more silence after I've thought of a way to express what I'm going through, that doesn't help. And I'm talking not only for myself, I'm talking about what is happening in the world today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you're silent about it and just looking at it, it does absolutely no service. And this is where the fireside chat comes in. That we're going to have in a couple of weeks. Is, we're going to bring in some friends that have different points of view from what I'm saying, you know, they totally think the opposite and I'm, I'm the kind of person that's like, no, I need, if someone expresses something to me, I'm not going to let them be alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I wouldn't say I'm going to say something. I want to make sure that they feel my embrace. Even if it's me not saying anything best believe you will have my arms around you, caressing you, holding you. And if you don't want to be held like that, that I will find out another way that space appropriate for you yet, I'm still holding you, letting you know that you're not alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think, I don't know what's happened in our culture and we'll discuss this on our fireside chat, which by the way, if you want to be a part of, send me an email that you want to be a part of this. We're going to have a big zoom meeting about this, a whole bunch of people talking about this subject.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I forgot what I was saying. What was I saying? Fireside chat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> those moments of silence. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just want the different points of view of course. But my point of view is it's not okay to be quiet. The violence against humanity every single group. Why are we quiet? What, so you're now you're going to go on your own mode and go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just going to take care of myself. Take care of yourself. Yeah. Make sure you're good. But, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but that's not what you were talking about when you started it. You were talking about when somebody reveals something and if you're quiet immediately after somebody reveals something very personal as what you don't like, and now you shift, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I did shift gears.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sorry. I'm very heated about this topic. It's not just for a few moments. It will go on forever. I hate that. It's not okay. Right. Why am I even bothering talking to you? Right. If you're just going to sit there and stare at me, it's not helpful, but I'm sure you know, our friends totally disagree.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I know for a fact that they do, but they're not here right now. I'm just letting you know, just think about that. We've had so many people tell us that silence is what they need. People have enough silence . So I'm sorry. I digress. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So there are good quiets and bad quiets, you know, like the good quiets or the magical quiets of seeing a beautiful forest creature.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You've come face-to-face with, that's a beautiful, quiet, right? It's magical. Gossip quiet. We experienced this a lot. Like I could not believe the gossip that would happen and it hurt my feelings. Not because of the gossip, because I really have no secrets. Like I don't care. Right. But what hurt my feelings was, wow, you could be talking to me and you're going to listen to this person talking about me instead of having a conversation with me that kind of quiet is some BS being left out, quiet. Being ignored quiet that's might be the worst. That's the worst. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So mad. You're so mad. Quiet. I don't know if that's good or bad, because if I were to unleash my fury in the moment of a rage, it, first of all, you probably wouldn't understand a word I was saying, but also I'll say some things that are like nuclear bombs. You know what I mean? Like horrible can't retract, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And honestly, you know, from the number of times you've talked about the Tibetan monks </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> who. They keep it all in and they go straight for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> compassion and they go, they try and make it okay. As opposed to really expressing, I mean, every once in a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> while, explain that. Hold on. So we're talking about, you have every right to feel rage.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have every right to feel anger, but you won't allow yourself to, because you're going to go straight to experiencing compassion for this person. If you go straight from not experiencing the rage and just going straight to understanding and love and compassion, forgiveness, it's not okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You need to at least acknowledge that you are, you have felt wronged because it will show up in your body. Right. And in what Matt is bringing up is a study Dr. Mario Martinez did on Tibetan monks who have the highest case of diabetes because he figured it out it's because of not experiencing this emotion of rage.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And going straight to love and kindness, meditation compassion. I didn't mean to cut you off. I just wanted to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> explain that's fine. And you know, you need to, you need to express yourself. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's all. There are different forms of not being quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">There are different forms of showing what you think is a better way. I can equate it to photography. I definitely photographed countries that were at war that there was violence happening, but I knew I had lots of friends, acquaintances,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">peers, that that was their job. , they were war photographers. I chose to focus on something else. I never would have a gun in my photographs. It was about beauty and love.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I have my focus, I have my way of getting a message out and my friends have their way of getting the message out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> your photography's about seeing yourself or coming to an understanding that people are people and there is a universal feeling language, whatever you want to call it. I mean, people everywhere and people are proud of their, you know, fathers are proud of their sons and daughters and, you know, sons and daughters are respectful to, you know, there's so many kind of similar traits in general in people tend to ignore when they're the enemy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You can't. Yeah. When you say someone is crazy, you're, you're putting up that silent wall. And you're ignoring them and it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> disrespectful almost a different kind of quiet too. Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> exactly. You're not going to hear them. Exactly. Exactly. So labeling someone like that provides such deafening silence that will actually create more violence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So a particular group does not get heard. Guess what? Much like a toddler, much like a baby that needs attention that needs something vital. If you're not going to hear, if you're not going to be attuned to that baby, that baby needs milk, that baby needs something. Right, they will start screaming louder and louder.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Yeah. We're all children. Back to the photography thing, my whole point is, if you really look at the photographs and I've. Totally crucified for this. Like I'm the worst photographer. Why do you have the people looking in the camera all the time?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's because if you look at people's eyes, you will see herself. Right? And I can't believe I have to say this out loud after all these years, you know? Cause I, I don't want to say that would, that's what I'm, that's the feeling that I wanted people to have is when you look at someone, when you're talking with someone and you have eye contact, you see yourself, but be careful, don't put yourself on this person, see them for who they are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Once you go through all those things, it's just seeing them, then you'll see yourself. But don't see yourself from the very beginning, see their pain, see their joy, see everything like you're watching a movie without being attached to them. And then you'll realize that's me. That's me too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's why I like photography. It's quiet. That's why I like still photography. It is quiet, but in that quiet, there's a lot of things being said, a lot of music, understanding. There's a lot of story. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah. Person's eyes show their entire existence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, you can see that written on a person's face, their entire existence. So obviously there is a lot of noise as it were, and it's not noise. It's stories. It's, you know, hardships, it's joys, it's everything. It's the human condition. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The quiet friend is a very complex friend. Don't misunderstand the quiet friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't underestimate the quiet friend. That quiet friend could be a quiet revolution. That quiet friend could be a quiet, beautiful, loving, friend. That quiet friend could be the one who has known your experiences and could be your witness and is your witness friend. That quiet friend could be your enemy shunning you quiet friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm saying the quiet, friend is a complex friend and that's the quiet friend. I think that's it for me today. We are going to have a tableside chat about ways to be quiet and ways to not be quiet. And the consequences of that. We're going to have a fireside chat. If you want to be a part of it, email me by going to our friendly world podcast.com and join us for a zoom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to talk and just to have a fireside chat like around the campfire, a whole bunch of us talking and expressing our ideas and our experiences. We're going to do this more often. Again, just a private zoom, our friendly world podcast.com. Thank you again, KJ Nashville and Rachel Chevallier for the cups of coffee</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you got us. Thank you. So love you and appreciate you, please. If you like our show, please, we don't do commercials. We don't do ads like that. Any kind of support you could give us will is truly so appreciated. If you could buy us a cup of coffee, there's a, there's an app on our, on our site, our friendly podcast.com.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Again, thank you so much for listening, always. We'll talk to you in just a few days. Thank you. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye.</span></span></p>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[When is it OK to be quiet? When someone is hurting, is it OK to be quiet? When you know there is injustice, do you go about your day and just focus on yourself? If you lived in Europe before WWII and you noticed your friends and neighbors disappearing, would you go about your business and think, "Oh well, I am going to focus on my own breath and well-being and that is the outside world I have no control of"?????
In our previous episode, our guest kept saying that we are not responsible for the world and that we are only responsible for ourselves. I TOTALLY DISAGREE. Although I know it is essential for a person to be well centered and strong in order to help others, I feel that we are interconnected and that we are here in life, together, and even if it is through some unseen force, I am here to help and provide comfort and support for all of life.
Our talk today comes out of the last episode we did with Sharon  Caren. I got really quiet. for those of you who know me, well, I usually will just state my opinion, and stand up for stuff. But out of respect for Sharon, I got quiet because I also felt like maybe I was being misunderstood and as I was feeling more and more upset, I got quieter because I did not want to fight with our guest. I respect her and I think she is a wonderful healer. I just did not like that I got quiet and that I did not speak up (although I did try).
This episode is my chance to discuss the ramifications of quiet as well as the good ways of quiet as we use the beautiful children's picture book by Deborah Underwood  (Author), Renata Liwska (Illustrator), to steer our conversation about this topic. I introduce you to The Quiet Friend". Please email me and let me know your point of view.
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/
Transcript 
[00:00:00] Matt: It was running the whole time, this little stopwatch, that we keep track of how long the show runs. And I had it on yesterday cause I was on the exercise bike and but it was running. And so when I took a look at it this morning, it was still running.
And so when I actually hit stop and then restart in my head, I hear a little voice going: "oh man!" so like the little, the little man in the computer thought he was doing something super cool and useful going, oh my God, I can't believe the stop-watch is running this long and this long and this long and getting more and more excited.
And then he finds out that I, the quote-unquote user just boom, boom. And he realized everything was pointless. And so he's like, oh God, 
[00:00:39] Fawn: Poor guy. 
[00:00:40] ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/head-in-the-sand.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:52:51</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Inside Job with guest Sharon Caren]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Mar 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-inside-job-with-guest-sharon-caren</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-inside-job-with-guest-sharon-caren</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What would you love in life? What would you love? Isn't that a beautiful question to ask yourself, to ask your friends to ask people out there, what would you love?</span></span></p>
<p>how do we raise our sense of wellbeing? How can we go from a fearful thought to, a blissful thought?</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When there's some crap in front of you, how can you switch that situation around? How can we do that? How can we go from fear-based to total bliss? How do you do that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Today we're going to get into how to have clarity and power in life, by first asking the question: "What would you love?"</span></span></p>
<p>things that you can't see, just because you can't see them doesn't mean they don't exist.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In this episode with spiritual coach, Sharen Caren, we discuss the importance of the inside job and the unseen force we focus on today is the Akashic records. We're going to talk about Meridian systems within our bodies that are not just within our bodies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To reach out to Sharon and receive a free chart:</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.sharoncaren.com/">https://www.sharoncaren.com/</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To support our show and hear about get-togethers with friends (sign up to email and support our show with coffee:<br /><br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What would you love? What would you love? Hi, everybody. Welcome. Welcome back. Welcome to our friendly world. There's a special treat for you today. There's a special treat for you every day, let me just say this phrase that came from our friend, Sharon, who you're going to meet in just a couple minutes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">One of the first things I remember her saying to me was this question that she posed to me and the way she asked it with such caring was "What would you love?" What would you love? Matt? What would you love in life? What would you love? Isn't that a beautiful question to ask yourself, to ask your friends to ask people out there, what would you love? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. I totally get it because like, one of the things I hold on to is typically, any action we're either moving from love or from fear. So focusing on the love part is probably going to be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> healthier.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this is perfect because one of the things we're going to get into is how to raise our vibrations . To you can, okay, Matt is rolling his eyes at me, but like, how do we raise our sense of wellbeing? How can we go from a fearful thought to, a blissful thought?</span></span></p>
<p><span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What would you love in life? What would you love? Isn't that a beautiful question to ask yourself, to ask your friends to ask people out there, what would you love?
how do we raise our sense of wellbeing? How can we go from a fearful thought to, a blissful thought?
When there's some crap in front of you, how can you switch that situation around? How can we do that? How can we go from fear-based to total bliss? How do you do that?
Today we're going to get into how to have clarity and power in life, by first asking the question: "What would you love?"
things that you can't see, just because you can't see them doesn't mean they don't exist.
In this episode with spiritual coach, Sharen Caren, we discuss the importance of the inside job and the unseen force we focus on today is the Akashic records. We're going to talk about Meridian systems within our bodies that are not just within our bodies.
To reach out to Sharon and receive a free chart:
https://www.sharoncaren.com/
To support our show and hear about get-togethers with friends (sign up to email and support our show with coffee:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: What would you love? What would you love? Hi, everybody. Welcome. Welcome back. Welcome to our friendly world. There's a special treat for you today. There's a special treat for you every day, let me just say this phrase that came from our friend, Sharon, who you're going to meet in just a couple minutes.
 One of the first things I remember her saying to me was this question that she posed to me and the way she asked it with such caring was "What would you love?" What would you love? Matt? What would you love in life? What would you love? Isn't that a beautiful question to ask yourself, to ask your friends to ask people out there, what would you love? 
[00:00:45] Matt: Yeah, absolutely. I totally get it because like, one of the things I hold on to is typically, any action we're either moving from love or from fear. So focusing on the love part is probably going to be 
[00:00:57] Fawn: healthier.
And this is perfect because one of the things we're going to get into is how to raise our vibrations . To you can, okay, Matt is rolling his eyes at me, but like, how do we raise our sense of wellbeing? How can we go from a fearful thought to, a blissful thought?
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Inside Job with guest Sharon Caren]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What would you love in life? What would you love? Isn't that a beautiful question to ask yourself, to ask your friends to ask people out there, what would you love?</span></span></p>
<p>how do we raise our sense of wellbeing? How can we go from a fearful thought to, a blissful thought?</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When there's some crap in front of you, how can you switch that situation around? How can we do that? How can we go from fear-based to total bliss? How do you do that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Today we're going to get into how to have clarity and power in life, by first asking the question: "What would you love?"</span></span></p>
<p>things that you can't see, just because you can't see them doesn't mean they don't exist.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In this episode with spiritual coach, Sharen Caren, we discuss the importance of the inside job and the unseen force we focus on today is the Akashic records. We're going to talk about Meridian systems within our bodies that are not just within our bodies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To reach out to Sharon and receive a free chart:</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.sharoncaren.com/">https://www.sharoncaren.com/</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To support our show and hear about get-togethers with friends (sign up to email and support our show with coffee:<br /><br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What would you love? What would you love? Hi, everybody. Welcome. Welcome back. Welcome to our friendly world. There's a special treat for you today. There's a special treat for you every day, let me just say this phrase that came from our friend, Sharon, who you're going to meet in just a couple minutes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">One of the first things I remember her saying to me was this question that she posed to me and the way she asked it with such caring was "What would you love?" What would you love? Matt? What would you love in life? What would you love? Isn't that a beautiful question to ask yourself, to ask your friends to ask people out there, what would you love? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. I totally get it because like, one of the things I hold on to is typically, any action we're either moving from love or from fear. So focusing on the love part is probably going to be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> healthier.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And this is perfect because one of the things we're going to get into is how to raise our vibrations . To you can, okay, Matt is rolling his eyes at me, but like, how do we raise our sense of wellbeing? How can we go from a fearful thought to, a blissful thought?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When there's some crap in front of you, how can you switch that situation around? How can we do that? How can we go from fear-based to total bliss? How do you do that? I mean, Specifically, scientifically like technically 1, 2, 3, 4. What are the steps? How do you do that? How do you do that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">How do you raise your vibration? How would you say it? How do you translate? How do you raise your vibration? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> How do you get elevation? So you can see everything that's around </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Today we're going to get into how to have clarity and power in life. What would you love? By the way. I had a great epiphany in the bathroom</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Bear with me. Today's show is the inside job. Remember, , last year we had our friend Rachel, on the show, Rachel Chevalier, by the way, kudos and respect, major love to our friend, Rachel Chevallier.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please go back and listen to what she has to say. The show today is kind of on the same realm, because with Rachel Chevallier, we discussed unseen forces, we, I was afraid to totally get into Rachel's work because I felt like, oh my God, am I going to alienate half of our friends out there?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because it seems so people call it. Woo. I hate that term, but it seems, um, it seems what's the word for it. It seems not real scientific, but in fact it is very scientific. Like we broke it down. There are scientists, there are papers done on this because what she, her work had to do with unseen forces that are actually inside the earth under your feet in the earth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">She discovers. She researches lay lines that are in the earth. And if these lay lines intersect that creates a vortex and scientists have throughout the last, I don't know, 50, 60 years have been documenting how this affects biology, how this will affect human tissue, how it affects everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So things that you can't see, just because you can't see them doesn't mean they don't exist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that was unseen forces in a way today, we're going to talk about that, with the inside job and the unseen force today, we're going to talk about Akashic records. We're going to talk about Meridian systems within our bodies that are not just within our bodies. They're actually all around and above and below.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can call them chakras. And there are actually more than seven or so many different ones, but there's seven main ones. And our friend Sharon, we're going to get explanations from her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm so excited we're going to really get into it. But before we do the epiphany that I had, I don't know if I should say it now. I don't know if it'll make any sense. So I was in the bathroom, the past few weeks, as you all know, have been really challenging for us. So we, we sought out therapists to talk to for the girls, for me, like there has been so much stress in the past with us that I think that it just finally came to a head.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so in reaching out to therapists to talk to, you know, me guys, like if I go to the doctor at the same time, I'm making an appointment with an acupuncturist, to undo what the regular doctor did in a way, because like, they give you a medicine, you know, thank you. They're very helpful in some ways, but like, For example, if they give me antibiotics, then I'm screwed up in other ways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So then I'd go to the acupuncturist to clear that up the effects of the, whatever, the drugs that I had to take, whatever medicine I had to take, you know what I mean? Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. Antibiotics tend to have a nasty habit of killing off your stomach bacteria, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and it's not just antibiotic. So two of us in the family had a session with Sharon and what happened to me after that was, uh, I don't know how to describe it, but I turned into one of those little animals from the eighties or nineties that if you gave them water, they went crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Gremlin gremlins. I turn into a gremlin like an evil gremlin because I had the most beautiful session with Sharon. All right. As she was talking to me, I was completely understanding on like everything she was telling me. It felt so good and true and clear, then all of a sudden, so I go to sleep, have great sleep.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The next morning I became this evil gremlin. Like I, I was so angry. I had so much rage and, you know, lately we've been making, baguettes; homemade baguettes. I was just stuffing my face with bread. Like it was the only thing that was calming me down. I was just eating bread, rage and bread and cleaning the bathroom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. So while I'm in the bathroom, I have this epiphany because Sharon was so kind, she's like, if you have any questions, you can reach me. And if you want to talk, I'm here. We can talk again. And I just had rage and Sharon is so intuitive that she, she texted me one day. She's like:</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">am I picking up anger from you? She's she sensed that I was angry. I'm like, yeah. But the, the epiphany that I had was that I, one of the things I was angry about was, so years ago, 25 years ago, I studied with this amazing teacher, I studied Akashic records. I was studying to become a spiritual response therapist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so the whole idea we're going to get into today regarding Akashic records, we'll explain what that is in just a second. But because I was studying because I was, working with this amazing master who was, who had all this information while we were doing that, we were getting cleared ourselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So we were getting therapy in the, in the way that our records were cleared. Our spiritual records, Akashic Akashic records are basically like, there are different ways to describe them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It could be seen as a huge library where every thing that exists in all the universes has history and there's a record, and you can look it up and you can see what the history of that thing is. Okay. Does that make sense or in terms for you Matt, to describe it is you can think of it as a computer and there are these programs, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and you can erase programs, but then there are backup disks or backup drives. A program is, for example, like we had one of the examples that we would use in class all the time was someone is allergic to cats. Why is that? And why some people, all of a sudden develop allergies out of the blue for no reason.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">All of a sudden at age 27, they become allergic to shellfish. It's interesting. Right? So in the training that I got we go into that and we figure out where is this stemming from? And usually the first program that comes up is usually the one that has the highest charge on it. And so you ask you, you go through that program, you see it, and you ask for it to be erased.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when you do that, it shows up in your physical body. So therefore once that program is cleared, chances are, you're not going to be allergic anymore . Does that make sense? And so I'd one of the simple examples we had was people that are allergic to cats. I remember we, we were researching it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so this is what happened to me. We're researching this man that was allergic to cats and all of a sudden, a whole bunch of us in class saw -that it was a brief split second image of this man was walking in the jungle and behind him in the tree was a Panther. And that was it. And so my teacher would say, okay, what did you, what'd you get any vision?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Any feeling, so I said, I saw a Panther in the tree behind him. I don't, I don't know what that means. So then you would ask, okay, did this result in hurt or harm in any way? And then we would get a working signal for, yes. Okay. Did this result in death? Yes. How many times did this happen? Like how many lifetimes?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. I know this sounds really bizarre to some people please just bear with us. Okay. Treat it just like as a fairy tale. Okay. Just bear with me, just go with me. And so once you see that this has happened over and over and over again, and you ask more questions and another question is, Was there a program that was set up?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes, it was set up by the soul, the spirit, the spirit of this person that, okay. I will never be hurt by a cat again because my body will sense it before I see the cat. So your body is now sensitive to being in the proximity of the cat. So therefore you get allergies, it's like a warning system. And so that's a program of benefit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so you, what you do is you go onto the Akashic records and you burn that up. You get rid of it, you delete it. Then you put another program in that says there's no program, there's a program that you will never be hurt or harmed by a cat ever again. All right. And then you insert that program in. You understand what I'm saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So there's no point of conflict. There's no, none of that drama, no soap, opera, none of that. Okay. Just clear. So, I had many clearings done and this was years ago, guys, and I don't want to say how old I am, but this was years ago. So when I had my reading, my session was Sharon.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was so disappointed because not, not in Sharon, by the way, I was disappointed in myself because I was like, how could this be? How could I have all these blocks? And how can I have all this trouble in my life right now? Because I thought all that was cleared. I'm in the bathroom. I'm looking at the toothbrushes. I'm looking at all the things that I was scrubbing in the bathroom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I thought, oh my God, of course, because Sharon kept telling me, look at all these things that you've been through. And have you actually been working with Robert? Well, Robert passed away a few years ago and no. And the things that I've been clearing have not been specifically the things I have been having trouble with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I thought, oh my God, that's like saying I brushed my teeth twenty-five years ago, I took a bath 25 years ago. Why am I dirty? Like, why am I having problems? So that was my epiphany in the bathroom. And that was why I had, I had so much rage was because I didn't know why. And then I realized, of course; how can you expect to go through life and go through all the random stuff that you go through,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">(not so random) and meet all the people that you meet; some of them are not the best for you. Some of them caused some damage. Sometimes you trip and you fall on your skin, your knee things happen and you need to clean up your life and your emotions as you go. And this is where our friend Sharon comes in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This brings me to your new friend and her name is perfect because she has share in her name, like sharing, and she's also the most caring person I've ever met.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Sharon,Caren. Caren with a C a R E and a little N. You can find her at sharencaren.com. Trust me, you want to talk with her on your own; long-winded very long-winded introduction, everyone, please meet your new beautiful friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's here for you, Sharon Caren. Welcome Sharon. Hi. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Hello. Hello. I'm so happy and grateful to be with both of you today. This is so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">fun. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Where should we start?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:28]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Well, I would like to say everything is energy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">'cause you get, you gave us such a great explanation about what you went through and you are so amazing and you're right on track because I could feel the energy of what you were going through. And it's almost like, well, I cleared that. How come it's still we, and then we get mad at ourselves and we do all of this stuff, which doesn't give us a lot of energy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sharon, what happened was not only was I feeling rage, but like, I felt like I was when you showed me everything that I was dealing with, without me having to even tell you, and I believe you used the term, I did all this in life. Like I still succeeded. I've done so much with both hands tied behind my back, both hands tied behind my back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you said that it released all this stuff in me. When you have a friend that notices something that you've been going through without you saying it, because when you're in the midst of it, you don't realize it. But when you have a friend such as yourself saying, look what you've done with both hands behind your back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Tied behind your back. And you are the type of friend that can say, well, let me just untie it for you. Here you go. When that happened, I felt myself raging and screaming to all the universes, like screaming to like from here to outer space, to like other planets and a scream of anguish. And I think that's what you picked up on when you said, are you angry?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> I did. I wanted to just come over there and give you a big hug. Like when I started to say everything is energy and, and that's really the good news, the good news is, is when we have all the energy that we would love, and that is going to be healthy and happy for the life that we love living, we're in a different place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's a different level. And so everything is energy. Everything's connected. Everything comes from the unified field in the other dimension. It's quantum physics, it's the sticky thoughts, substance. Everything comes from there. Something has to come from somewhere, nothing sparks from no energy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It all comes from somewhere. So where does it come from? And that's where my work is in any Akashic field and with the Akashic records, which by the way, are past present and future everything's happening, all together </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because everything is connected and everything in between, right? There are so many dimensions in between all those.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Totally. The beauty of it is, is when we have these times, these timeouts, where we just have to just scream or yell or do whatever we have to do, that's the good news. Cause we're letting all that stuff go like you're in the bathroom, perfect place. Just flush it, you know, just let it out and let it go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then when we come back to this place and go, okay, now what would I love? And when I say that word, like on the map of consciousness, David R. Hawkins, I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you please explain the map of consciousness to us? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:08]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Yes. When I found this Akashic work, this was part of it, David R. Hawkins and the map of consciousness because we know about energy and people know, everybody says energy, energy, energy, but we can't see it or touch it or smell it. However we know that it's there and it's most important that we have enough energy to maintain our physical body with ease. So one of my first documents that I got along with the Akashic I teach people how to read the Akashic records, training certification.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But David R. Hawkins, he was a scientist and a doctor. And he's the only one that I know of. I'm not saying he's the only one. He's the only one that I know of that actually attained enlightenment that came from science purely. He was an atheist. If you want to look on YouTube, read any of his books, "Power Versus Force" is the one that the map of consciousness came out of. I share that map with everyone because how do we describe frequency or energy to someone? Well, on the map, it has the levels and it has the words.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what's the lowest level of energy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:29]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> I believe it's like 20 or something, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but is it like fear or hate,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Basically the line is at 200. We want to be at 200 or above. And that's kind of curiosity. That's just kind of open to the possibilities, but anything, 199 and below is basically no energy is coming in to our physical body from the etheric body and the chakra systems. So when I'm talking about energy, it means either our physical body is going to be living with ease or not, depending on the scale at the map of consciousness, right? Looks like you have a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">question </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So bellow 200, which of course is just an arbitrary number. As far as I'm concerned, it's like apathy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sharon, is this the same thing as like a long time ago, people are we're measuring music and they found that for example, the Beatles were operating on a very high frequency.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whereas the rolling stones were actually , low vibration. And it was probably because the Beatles, spoke about love and it was, everything was attuned to love. Whereas maybe theRolling Stones who had to do with more base level, like earthly, like</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">sex or pure sex, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> we can go there. Well, that's why I always say, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, if there's anything wrong with sex, I'm sorry. Nothing wrong with sex. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> No. And that is it's human. It's how we procreate. It's so important for the physical body. It's part of that frequency. And it also means, how are people working with it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And that all comes from the mental body, which doesn't mean it's in love or anything else. It can be whatever. So that all makes a big difference for sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Just under 200. Is that apathy? Is that just, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> There's a lot of different levels.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So enlightenment is 700 to a thousand so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> basically I, it looks like it goes from bestest to worstest and there's assigned arbitrary numbers and then just the feelings or the emotions that get tied to it. So if you're living in a world of pride, anger, desire, fear, grief, apathy, guilt, and shame, those kind of negative, aren't they? And then the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> emotion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. So the, if you're feeling humiliation, that's like the lowest. Shame </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> and power. The reason it says power versus force, in David R. Hawkins book, that was the name of the book. Power energy is flowing energy. Force energy is push energy. That's why everything 199 and below there's little to no energy that's coming into our chakras. It's going to keep our physical body living with ease. So we want to be 200 or above. Now. There's a couple of different ways of using the numbers. There can be the level that our soul is at. Like what I do in the Akashic readings. We can get a reading for where our soul is actually in the non-physical from the records.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What number that is, and we're human beings and we're human, becomings becoming the best version of ourselves. So we're going to sometimes fluctuate. It's not static. However, it's a barometer, it's a way for us to track energy because how do we know where we are when we don't understand energy, or we don't know how to work with it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">David R. Hawkins in his foundation, after 20 years working with people because he was a psychologist. And so working with people, he actually came up with this. This was years and years and years of research working with all the different people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause he wanted to know why some people have this and why some people had that. And some people didn't. And, and so that's how him and his foundation came up with this map of consciousness, which we want to be at 200 or above because then energy is coming in our etheric body, through our chakras and into our physical body's nervous system.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">These are the first two bodies, the etheric body chakras in the other dimension. We always have one foot in the other dimension. And then. This is where the chakras live. So if we're down under 199 in pride, anger, desire, fear, grief, guilt, shame, all of that. There's little to no energy that's coming into the chakras at all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So in a way it's like I'm starving. You're not getting nutrients. You're not getting vital nutrients for your spirit, much like you wouldn't get nutrients for your body to live fruitfully. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I, and it also comes into, getting away from foot in the other realm and all the rest of it. We always want to, we always believe we're we act in the moral; with a sense of moral rightness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when you're in all these negative emotions, like pride and stuff, you're, you're not there. And so you're inherently like in the back of your head, you're kind of, you're kind of spinning, gone, wait a second. Something, something doesn't feel right. Something doesn't smell. Right. And, and that's just, that's just something that's just continually just bugging you in the back of your head.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You want to be, and you want to be in love. You want to feel trust. You want to feel empowered, or, if you're one of those few blessed people, you want to feel true enlightenment and like a lasting enlightenment, as opposed to one of those aha moments that occur, which feels so good, don't they?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But here's the thing though, when you're experiencing fear and rage and all that stuff, that's on the bottom scale, it's kind of addictive, isn't it? Like you, you can't even get to the point of saying, I want to get out of here. I want to, I want to go to a higher place. You were just so angry that it's addictive and you just.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Becoming this, like, it's like a snowball effect, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? I think it can be addictive, but only because it's protecting you from maybe your environment. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, how do you get your Sharon? How do you get yourself out of that? I know you do. You know what I mean? When you're in a ball of rage and you can't, if you don't have a friend to say, yo, what, you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do you, how do you get out of that Sharon? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Well, the reason that we use the map is so we can tell. So anything, you know, why I always ask people, what would you love? And I always ask myself, do you see where love is on the map? It's at 500. That and 200 is is bottomed to where we want to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And 500 is the love energy. We can do this! You can shift it on a dime just by doing this. So if you feel, okay, you're down, you're having fear, anxiety whatever's happening, COVID, everybody's going crazy. And then you notice. And so the first tool is (that I love to share) is notice what you're noticing, because as soon as you notice that you're down there, what do you do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What would I love? What would I love? What would I love? Whenever I say that, I dunno if I get up to a 500, but I am just open to the infinite possibilities of the universe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sharon, is this the same as when Matt and I get into a fight? We're in a screaming match and then one of us will yell out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Love is winning. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:49]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Yes. Very similar because it takes you from the depths. The power, energy is love energy. It's up high. The force energy is push energy and it's very low frequency. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is like martial arts, for sure. Isn't it, Matt? I was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> just, I was just thinking, I mean, to me, the key is, is, if I'm caught in a, in an anger spiral where I was in high school, It's addicting, but B it's also almost self referential, but then you run into someone who is operating, you know, moving from love as opposed to moving from fear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And all of a sudden it can take you out of that emotional context, but let's not forget in the world of emotion versus logic, because what you're talking about is trying to remove somebody from something they're emotionally connected to logically, that's a very, very tough battle. And usually emotion always wins.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's a tricky thing,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but Sharon, isn't it like if I want to beat someone up, if I want to beat them up really bad, right. And I'm using force, I'm losing my energy. Right. I get tired. I could get hurt. They could get hurt. It's destruction all the way around. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Why are some P many people sick right now? Why?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because they don't understand about the energy because when we're down. Anger, fear, grief, all of that. Everybody's afraid of that. You know, what's going on in our world right now. Fear just takes you out. That's why people are dying. I mean, people are going to die anyway, as we're all going to, we come in and we go out whenever we, we choose seriously, we come in and we go out and we get to choose that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But in between, what would you love? What is it? It's actually repatterning reprogramming the subconscious mind because everything that we've learned since we were born to today from anything we've heard anything, the whole mess, there's no filters in the subconscious mind. 94% of our life that we're living it without consciousness is coming from the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is part of the reptilian brain. And it's part of the mental body, which by the way, is body number four, we kind of bypassed body number three, which finding number three is emotion. But the emotional body is more helpful than the mental body in what we're talking about right now, because the emotional body is you can turn it on a dime.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like you can be down here in the depths of grief and go, what would I love? What would I love? What would I love the barometer? And then we can get back up to love. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you briefly go over what the four bodies are Sharon, please?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Yes. First body. And this is order of importance .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">First body is the etheric body. That's the one that lives in the other dimension, that one foot in the other dimension, that's where the shoppers live and that's where the energy comes in. So when we're here in a physical body, we have to understand the laws of the universe in order to be healthy and in order to get on top of whatever the paradigms and the subconscious mind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we have the therapy body with the chakras when we're 200 and above energy's coming into the seven chakras below little to no energies coming in at all. Second bodies, our physical body and that's where the nervous system, then our energy from our third body connects with the nervous system in our physical body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what gives us life in the physical body. We have to have energy coming from the shoppers that transfers into our body's electrical, nervous system. Then the third body is the emotional body. That's our barometer. So the emotional body is saying, what would I love? What would I love? What would I love?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or if I feel contractive, oh, yikes. You know, I'm scared to death that I can't help myself no energy. And that's why we want to notice. . . BOOM What would I love? Just change that we can all say whatever, you know, whatever gives you more life. You don't have to say what I say, but that love when I say love energy,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's what just really opens me up. So I can't even think of the other things. And that's what we want to do. We can turn it on a dime. And then the fourth body is the mental body. Now the mental body is very purposeful. The mental body is what keeps our physical body alive. However, the mental body is only trying to keep us alive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The mental health. Doesn't give us love joy, happiness, a life we would love living. The mental body doesn't do any of that. The mental body goes, you better be careful. You better not do that. Don't jump out of the plane with the parachute because you're going to die. Don't do that. And that's all the fear and all that stuff that comes up because , the mental body is trying to keep us alive, but it's not going to give us more life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And also the subconscious mind goes along with that, 94% of the subconscious mind is what's running our lives. So basically what we learned when we were five is what's running this body unless we stop it. Unless we understand that we actually have choices, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm tripping out. I'm like, oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As a mother I'm like number four, don't do that. Be careful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Yeah. Don't yeah. We don't want to say those things. It puts fear, anxiety and everything else into everybody's minds. So we stand guard at the portal of our thoughts. We stand guard at the portal of our thoughts because we are creators.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We have come into this physical life to create in the physical, because we're just pure energy in the other dimension. But when we come into this life, we can create anything we can think of. That's the imagination, the creative visualization, all the successful people, how do they create that? That's how; by changing their thoughts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What would I love? We came in with the infinite possibilities. We can do say have whatever we would love. We can decide the whole thing and we have help from the universe because the universe listens to our thoughts and our words. So if we're down here going, oh, you know, I, I, I I'm, I'm grieving, you know, I'm angry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, we're going to get more of that because whatever we think about, and whatever we say is what we're going to get. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">focus on, grows</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sharon is that why you told me, go ahead and eat some ice cream after our session, you said, whatever will make you feel better. You need to rest. You need to take care of your physical body first because your physical body takes a while to catch up to your etheric body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So right now, why don't you go do whatever makes you feel good. If it's ice cream, go have some ice cream. I had ice cream. I had like 15 loaves of bread. I feel better. I do feel better and thinner. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> We, we just need to listen. We need to listen with our still small voice that are still small voices, our connection with the infinite that's our soul connection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we come in in a physical body and then what happens is we get it backwards. Because it's the focus. The only thing that matters is it's an inside job. It doesn't happen out here. It happens from here with our connection to all that is. That's why grounding is so important. When we breathe ground and remember, you know, in the earth, has us, Gaia the mother earth, you know, Archangel Arielle on the first chakra is holding us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We can't float away. We've got gravity. When we're breathing the sacred breath in, going down into our feet, we're safe. And that's where remember we're safe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and takes us out of an emotional kind of context, in my mind, at least. And you know, it takes us out of our head and into our center as we would do in a martial arts like Aikido.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And in many ways, it's like, you're starting to now win the, logic versus emotion argument, because emotion is almost like you're able to logically hear. You're able to logically feel from my point of view.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> And I believe it's important that the mental body isn't in the driver's seat. When I said the four bodies the etheric, physical, emotional, and mental, it's in order of importance. Were a soul first. We didn't come from nowhere. We didn't make our bodies. We don't even breathe ourselves. Who does that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Where does that come from? We know there's a higher order. There's a higher power. Otherwise we wouldn't even be here in a physical body. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, you learn that in martial arts too. We're not being religious here. Even, if you don't believe that there's a higher force out there, we're not talking about religion here at all, but you definitely experience what we're talking about</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">if you do something like martial arts. We had to feel each other's connections and see and feel with our eyes closed blindfolded where the next movement was coming from, where the person was, where their arms were. W you know, you could see without seeing you could feel it, which leads me to, like, you brought up the word connection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And I want Matt to talk because every time we get off the show, he's like, well, I had all these things I wanted to talk about. And I keep looking at him like, why don't you bring them up? But since you're not jumping in, Matt, I'm going to jump in. I want to talk about connection. I want your take Sharon on what's going on on the planet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why do you think, there is such a disconnect and there is such polarity and it's coming in the form of so many different things from politics to families being completely divisive and separated.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> I understand what you're saying. And the more you say those things, the lower the energy is, and the more lonely you're going to be. I it's so simple. No one believes it. That it is as simple as saying, I'm not going to be down here and the, this, and all of that stuff that you talked about, honey, that was all outside of you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We have to care for ourselves first; love ourselves first. We can't love another person if we don't have it in our heart. If we're disconnected and we don't have whatever that is, we think we're giving to everybody else. I've got another, you know, another idea for you. It doesn't happen that way. It is an inside job.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That means you can't focus out here. We have to keep bringing it back and bringing it back. Everything that we're learning is to come back to the inside of ourselves because we have all the answers. We came in with them at birth. We came in with everything that we needed to have everything that we would love, only we forgot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so the forgetting is looking out here, the remembering is like, oh yes, I am that I am, we have, and this is universal spirituality. This is not religion that we're talking about. This is so important. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is science. It's quantum physics. It's not woo woo. It has nothing to do with that. However, it is the order of things. And that's why when I do a reading for somebody, I like to say, now you can maybe understand a little bit of the rest of the story because we've got it flipped backwards, because we're just so looking outside of ourselves, that we're all of our power is diminished.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Our life force is diminished. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I feel like I've done messed up with my words, but, and I'm afraid to ask the next question or like to have, you know, to have like a reply to that, which is okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We feel dandy over here. However, see, now we're afraid to say anything, but the country seems like it's falling apart because nobody's friends everybody's. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> But if you're looking you're whatever you're looking for, honey, you're going to find </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it. I'm looking for heaven or hell, you'll find it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> guys, but realistically out there people are fighting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So am I supposed to turn a blind eye to that and go, there is no injustice happening. am I supposed to turn a blind eye to that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Certainly, certainly no. Keep a realistic eye and appraisal on it, but don't live </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">there. What if, okay, don't live </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:55]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> there. If you pitch a tent there, you're not going to have energy coming into your chakras. How are you going to stay alive and help your daughters grow </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">up?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I understand that, but I feel like, uh, well now I have, I'm afraid to say anything because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> case in point over the course of the past couple of weeks, they've determined that Facebook loves generating incendiary content. They just do because it's more click baity. It sticks people there, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when's the last time I was on Facebook. It's been months. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Not even months, you haven't been there for years. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> every six to eight months, I'll go ahead and log in because I'll just do that. But you know, it's like, I always talk about, things you want in your circle. I want to keep things out of my circle too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so one of the things I want to keep trying to keep out of my circle are going to be things that don't make me feel good. And ultimately, you know, a Twinkie may make me feel good for a minute, but you know, maybe a salad is going to make me feel better long-term or, or, you know, being on the bike for an hour, it's going to make me feel much better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's just, it's about where you want to live. And you know, not nobody says that you're going to be always operating in this. You're going to be like, you know, JC who always did everything perfectly, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Of course, you're going to do, you're going to have a Twinkie now. And again, I don't live </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there, guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not living there, but I'm also trying to help out the world. help out the world Okay. help out the world There are people fighting. There is fighting happening and I have a theory now I can't even bring that up because I mean, what am I supposed to do, Sharon? Am I supposed to be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> quiet? If you bring the pink box full of pastries into </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Congress, Sharon doesn't know what I'm talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're talking about Sharon. So Sharon, the pink box theory is what I came up with years ago. My theory is if anyone shows up to a room of fighting people with a pretty pink box, everything stops no matter what culture you're in, because, and this is good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is not a sexual connotation. It's, it's a pastry box and pastry boxes look the same around the world that, so I said, you know, if you're at the United nations and all the leaders are in this room fighting, but if someone walks in with a big pink box, everyone stops and smiles because they know it's pastries, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and so basically what you're doing is you're doing an Aikido. You're doing an,atemi, you are cutting everybody's ki and your redirecting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:40]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Redirection quick. I got that. And you know what, honey? So let that pink box be your heart and soul. You cannot, you cannot take care of the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not here to watch everybody on earth only you. It's an inside job. We're here to do number one. That's taking care of ourselves. So what you've done with that pink box is it's like displaying your heart. Now, when you live it inside of you, you don't even have to carry the box. You are the box, you are the one. The three of us here together? What's three times 90,000, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> 270,000. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> How much? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> 270,000. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> Okay. When each one of us, the reason I'm making a point here is each one of us. When we're vibrating at a 300 or above each one of us, Lightworkers vibrating at 300 or above uplifts, 90,000 people on the planet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The three of us here today, together 270,000 people. We are uplifting when we are above the 200. Well, we would get to the 300 line. That means we can't spend a lot of time down in the blue part because we're not going to be helping people. If we do that. See, it's an inside job. All right. Only way that it's gonna work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Alright. Okay. I get it my way. It's a universal law. Yeah. People, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> people say humor is infectious and which is moving us up the scale as well as just being able to look at those people who are doing good in the world. When you hear about stuff like that, it makes you feel better. It just does. It's like, you know, it doesn't matter who they're helping or how they're helping, and if they're not helping you, it still makes you feel </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is, repatterning the subconscious mind in real time, as we're speaking. I feel like I got that bamboo stick on my head by Sharon. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Getting into the chakra system. By the way, Sharon has some gifts for you. If you go to her website, you get free downloads to everything we're talking about. One of them is the chakra guide, and I like your particular wording of each different chakra, Sharon, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You were talking about each different chakra and in a way, I started to. Reflect on what others were saying like, oh, this person is operating from the first chakra;</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">They're stuck in the first chakra, the root chakra, that they're not able to walk well in the world that they're stuck at this bottom level. Oh, too bad for you. You're stuck there. I read what you were saying about it, it's really interesting because you talked about foundations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I took some notes here. So the seven chakras, the seven Meridian points in our bodies; each one is associated with a color and it's really the rainbow. So it's ROYGBIV. The first one is red and that's the root chakra. It's the base of your spine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It has to do with your roots, your history survival it's about the material world. When you activate that you feel connected to the earth. So like we were talking about grounding, you feel safe, you feel like you're in control. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The second one is a little higher. It's in your hips. It's orange, that's the sacral chakra. And it's below the navel. It's in the hips. This is the center where emotions live, desires, pleasures. When activated, you feel alive, desired and are enjoying everything. You are in touch with your emotions and you're trusting toward others.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">A little bit higher you have the yellow, which is the belly, the solar plexus, that's where your source of power lives. When this is activated, you respect yourself and others, you feel outgoing, happy, relaxed, yet energized. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You go up a little higher. It's the green color. This is where the heart is. Here you are balanced, compassionate. It's the center of your being when activated, you feel friendly, outgoing, and connected, connected easily with yourself and others. You practice unconditional love, empathy, and you nurture your relationships.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">A little bit higher is the throat, which is blue . This is all about self-expression your voice. When it's in balance, you feel empowered to speak your truth and communicate with others. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One higher some people say it's the third eye. And some people say it's in the center of your skull, they call it the meditation sanctuary, as we've talked about in previous shows. This is the indigo color, and this is where inner vision is; insight, imagination, the clarity of thoughts. When this is activated, you feel focused and steady. You may feel you're seeing from higher perspectives, beyond the ego, worries or fears. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then of the seven chakra system. Then you have the crown, which is a violet color. This is at the top of your head. And when this is activated, you've found your soul's purpose. You feel enlightened knowing that we are all connected and everything is love. There is no limit to bliss and complete control of your mind. So these are notes I took from Sharon. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you go to Sharon, karen.com, you'll get a download of this. So my theory was, see, now I'm afraid to speak. Okay. I don't know how to pose this and I'm sure you'll whack me over the head, but I'm just going to say it anyway. So do you think society, perhaps when it's not in balance it's because the roots, sacral and solar plexus, the first three chakras are off balance because they're not able to reach the heart area.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're not able to have compassion. They're not balanced. So is something going on with a base, which is, the material world, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:07]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> you know, I think it's very personal for each and each and every one, because we were all, even though we're all connected and we're all energy and we're all the same, we're each unique beings.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In other words, when our soul sparked we're each unique and we're all one, so individually there could be so many different ways that this plays out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when we're in that place, then we can do, then we can help more people on a larger scale. That going back to your question, honey, it's a really good question. And I can tell you that I work with a lot of people who are not in their body and we ha we came here to experience a physical body. That's the reason we came and we cannot maintain a physical body if we're not in it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I am so happy and grateful because I can help people with that. Now I know lots of people that have just the opposite, they are totally physical and there's nothing else. So it's very individual. And, and I think if we're looking for something, we're probably going to find it, you know, if like, if you can help people with, you know, whatever you can help people with and, and, you know, then that's what we do with each other is we really help each other out in that way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I've gotten to be a master at really listening to people and seeing how, what they say is usually a dead giveaway to where they live. I mean, you know, those people that know. There's those people that there's, as a matter what you say, they know everything, they know it all. That's somebody living in the, in the mental body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the thing is, is the mental body. We don't know it. We know of it. We may know certain things, but we don't know. We can't know everything we know of it until we, until we understand it, learn it, digest it and live from that powerful, powerful place inside of ourselves. That's the only time we know it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's what we get it in our body. And we're living from that place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt would say, you,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it to me personally, maybe I'm just a very basic kind of a person, but it there's a lot of quantification of feelings happening here and emotions in my mind, at least happening here, which probably puts me in a different body or whatever. But to me, it's like, do good. You'll feel </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> good. You guys good for you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm still thinking about what the hell happened to this country. What the hell is going on in the world? I be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the change you want to see? I'll start, I'll start off. I'll start quoting some random stuff on you. No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> see, now you're starting to anger. Find me I'm slipping and going to the depths sharing, going to anger </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> and mean just answer, answer me this one thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you could have anything that you would love.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What would that be easy answer? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I, I want, I want to have a big, beautiful family and, and I'm talking about humanity. I'm talking about humanity. I want my children to have beautiful friends. I want to be surrounded by beautiful friends. I, I wouldn't love to go to the store and feel safe. And I would love to go without boundaries, roaming the earth and eating </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> delicious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you know how you do that every day in every way, you're getting better and better. And you write down the vision of what you would absolutely love and you read it every single day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I also would love for my fellow man to love each other. Sorry, I'm going to the depths again, but I don't want them to stop.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want them to stop killing each other and being mean, what is, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> what is, what is the mind tell us about no mind. Doesn't understand. No, the mind doesn't all of a sudden now you're like, I want anger and hatred. And is really, even though you're saying I don't want it, you put the no word on it, but your brain doesn't understand.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, can I say, I want everyone to calm down. That's much </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> better. Isn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> it? Well, the thing is, you're the only one that can do anything for yourself. You cannot do anything for, we all have free choice and free will honey, where we come in to this earth, everyone has free choice and free will. That's why some people don't even stand in the light of creator.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everybody gets to choose wherever they want to be. You can't tell somebody else what did you, honey? It's not your job. It's not our job. Our job is only ourself</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay, well, why don't you guys close the show? I don't know what to say um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Sharon:</strong></span> think about it. If it doesn't work for you, honey, you don't have to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do this is something I obviously I think about, I've always thought about it, but at the same time, I also want to help. If I see a mess, I want to clean it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> just going to steal from Sharon steal from Sharon, breathe ground. And remember breathing takes us out of our emotional context and back into a world that may be logic and emotion can start to like really kind of co-exist as opposed to fighting each other. Grounding is us almost, you know, is us just feeling some strength and then remembering, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we remind ourselves where we want </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. So we have thousands that are we could end right there. All right, hold on a second. Now. See you scared me. And I was going to say something nice. Stop it. Um, what I was seeing, I forgot what I was gonna say, what I was gonna say was there a thousands of us on this podcast?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we are holding a friendship bond, a loving bond together. We are doing it. There are thousands of us on our friendly world in our friendly world. And we'll just continue in that. We will, we will just hold what we love. And with that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you all for listening. And we love you so much. All right, everybody calm down. Everybody's calm. I'm calm. I'm calm. All right, thank you.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What would you love in life? What would you love? Isn't that a beautiful question to ask yourself, to ask your friends to ask people out there, what would you love?
how do we raise our sense of wellbeing? How can we go from a fearful thought to, a blissful thought?
When there's some crap in front of you, how can you switch that situation around? How can we do that? How can we go from fear-based to total bliss? How do you do that?
Today we're going to get into how to have clarity and power in life, by first asking the question: "What would you love?"
things that you can't see, just because you can't see them doesn't mean they don't exist.
In this episode with spiritual coach, Sharen Caren, we discuss the importance of the inside job and the unseen force we focus on today is the Akashic records. We're going to talk about Meridian systems within our bodies that are not just within our bodies.
To reach out to Sharon and receive a free chart:
https://www.sharoncaren.com/
To support our show and hear about get-togethers with friends (sign up to email and support our show with coffee:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: What would you love? What would you love? Hi, everybody. Welcome. Welcome back. Welcome to our friendly world. There's a special treat for you today. There's a special treat for you every day, let me just say this phrase that came from our friend, Sharon, who you're going to meet in just a couple minutes.
 One of the first things I remember her saying to me was this question that she posed to me and the way she asked it with such caring was "What would you love?" What would you love? Matt? What would you love in life? What would you love? Isn't that a beautiful question to ask yourself, to ask your friends to ask people out there, what would you love? 
[00:00:45] Matt: Yeah, absolutely. I totally get it because like, one of the things I hold on to is typically, any action we're either moving from love or from fear. So focusing on the love part is probably going to be 
[00:00:57] Fawn: healthier.
And this is perfect because one of the things we're going to get into is how to raise our vibrations . To you can, okay, Matt is rolling his eyes at me, but like, how do we raise our sense of wellbeing? How can we go from a fearful thought to, a blissful thought?
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:58:31</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Galvanized - How Our Friendships and Thoughts Change the World]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 27 Feb 2022 20:25:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/galvanized-how-our-friendships-and-thoughts-change-the-world</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/galvanized-how-our-friendships-and-thoughts-change-the-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is an URGENT message for today! Let's change what is happening right now!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><br />The world is a safe place, you guys (I KNOW, I KNOW... lately it feels and looks like it's the end of days. It's scary), but there's more to it. The world is also a loving, friendly place. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. And there are all kinds of friends, each one with various amounts of capacities and areas of focused abilities and ways about them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In this episode, we provide a key to changing the world. We talk about how one man can create chaos and make millions of people experience terror. We talk about how one person also has the power to make everything GREAT! That one person is you. That one person is us. We talk about Nikola Tesla and remind each other of how truly powerful we are and how we can TOTALLY change the world in the midst of terrible things happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We've been doing different episodes, "The Quiet Friend", "The Weird Friend", all the different types of friends. Right. And they weave in and out in all directions. If you step away (or up) far away enough in your awareness of the world, you may notice how it's interwoven everything really is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">#Galvanized, #Electric, #powerful, #light, #spark, #change, #electromagnetic, #hotstuff, #ignition, #theworldisasafeplace, #akindworld, #afriendlyworld, #ourfriendlyworldwithfawnandmatt, #betterstrongertogether<br /><br />Tune in to this episode and also to a previous episode when you are done, and you can hear a great reminder from our friend Rachel Chevalier.<br /><br /></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to contact Fawn and Matt:</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/</a></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to support our show:<br /><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">previous episode from last March: <br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/unseen-forces-w-special-guest-rachel-chevalier/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/unseen-forces-w-special-guest-rachel-chevalier/</a><br /></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Galvanized Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back. Welcome back, everybody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome to our friendly world. The world is a safe place, you guys, but there's more to it. The world is also a loving, friendly place. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. And there are all kinds of friends, each one with various amounts of capacities and areas of focused abilities and ways about them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We've been doing different episodes, "The Qui...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This is an URGENT message for today! Let's change what is happening right now!
The world is a safe place, you guys (I KNOW, I KNOW... lately it feels and looks like it's the end of days. It's scary), but there's more to it. The world is also a loving, friendly place. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. And there are all kinds of friends, each one with various amounts of capacities and areas of focused abilities and ways about them.
In this episode, we provide a key to changing the world. We talk about how one man can create chaos and make millions of people experience terror. We talk about how one person also has the power to make everything GREAT! That one person is you. That one person is us. We talk about Nikola Tesla and remind each other of how truly powerful we are and how we can TOTALLY change the world in the midst of terrible things happening.
We've been doing different episodes, "The Quiet Friend", "The Weird Friend", all the different types of friends. Right. And they weave in and out in all directions. If you step away (or up) far away enough in your awareness of the world, you may notice how it's interwoven everything really is.
#Galvanized, #Electric, #powerful, #light, #spark, #change, #electromagnetic, #hotstuff, #ignition, #theworldisasafeplace, #akindworld, #afriendlyworld, #ourfriendlyworldwithfawnandmatt, #betterstrongertogetherTune in to this episode and also to a previous episode when you are done, and you can hear a great reminder from our friend Rachel Chevalier.
to contact Fawn and Matt:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/
 
to support our show:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
previous episode from last March: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/unseen-forces-w-special-guest-rachel-chevalier/
 
Galvanized Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back. Welcome back, everybody. 
[00:00:02] Matt: Hello!
[00:00:03] Fawn: Welcome to our friendly world. The world is a safe place, you guys, but there's more to it. The world is also a loving, friendly place. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. And there are all kinds of friends, each one with various amounts of capacities and areas of focused abilities and ways about them.
We've been doing different episodes, "The Qui...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Galvanized - How Our Friendships and Thoughts Change the World]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is an URGENT message for today! Let's change what is happening right now!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><br />The world is a safe place, you guys (I KNOW, I KNOW... lately it feels and looks like it's the end of days. It's scary), but there's more to it. The world is also a loving, friendly place. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. And there are all kinds of friends, each one with various amounts of capacities and areas of focused abilities and ways about them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In this episode, we provide a key to changing the world. We talk about how one man can create chaos and make millions of people experience terror. We talk about how one person also has the power to make everything GREAT! That one person is you. That one person is us. We talk about Nikola Tesla and remind each other of how truly powerful we are and how we can TOTALLY change the world in the midst of terrible things happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We've been doing different episodes, "The Quiet Friend", "The Weird Friend", all the different types of friends. Right. And they weave in and out in all directions. If you step away (or up) far away enough in your awareness of the world, you may notice how it's interwoven everything really is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">#Galvanized, #Electric, #powerful, #light, #spark, #change, #electromagnetic, #hotstuff, #ignition, #theworldisasafeplace, #akindworld, #afriendlyworld, #ourfriendlyworldwithfawnandmatt, #betterstrongertogether<br /><br />Tune in to this episode and also to a previous episode when you are done, and you can hear a great reminder from our friend Rachel Chevalier.<br /><br /></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to contact Fawn and Matt:</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/</a></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to support our show:<br /><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">previous episode from last March: <br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/unseen-forces-w-special-guest-rachel-chevalier/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/unseen-forces-w-special-guest-rachel-chevalier/</a><br /></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Galvanized Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome back. Welcome back, everybody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome to our friendly world. The world is a safe place, you guys, but there's more to it. The world is also a loving, friendly place. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. And there are all kinds of friends, each one with various amounts of capacities and areas of focused abilities and ways about them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We've been doing different episodes, "The Quiet Friend", "The Weird Friend", all the different types of friends. Right. And they weave in and out in all directions. If you step away (or up) far away enough in your awareness of the world, you may notice how it's interwoven. Everything really is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you step away far enough in your awareness of the world, you may notice how interwoven everything really is; how one act of kindness transforms one person and ripples, weaves through the entire fabric of the world we live in; how one burst of joy and happiness lifts, everything from emotions to physical well-being to economic growth; how one thought can lighten up not just your surroundings within yourself, but the sky and everyone looking at the clouds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Step away a little bit further now. Step a little bit further away, and it may even appear that we are this kind of electric circuit board, where information is instantly connected, received, and translated. In fact, if you look and you keep looking, you may realize we are electric. We are electric; charged with great power that does act like a super information machine, much like how we have built our computers to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Take your mind away from the computers because we are the natural, original, organic biological version of the computer. We are electromagnetic, galvanized, ignited, a current that runs throughout each one of us, that even Nicola Tesla noticed can provide physical power to light the world. We are the spark. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We are hot stuff. Look even more expansively and you may notice how one spark here affects another on the other side of the planet. Go back to being small again, and you will feel that spark from the other side of the world and notice it affecting your heart here. Look enough, and you may realize the interconnections of everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you're going to be told; and you're going to hear people say that you're not responsible for the quote unquote "outside world". And I'm here. I'm here reemphasizing the message that we all know that we are the outside world. We are the inner world. The outside world is our inner world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We are amazing electromagnetic electronic beings. We are amazing, powerful ignited sources of light. And you best believe that we can change the world. One thought can change the world. We are powerful like that. So when things are going on, especially these days, when all this is going on, and there's all kinds of sparks, sparking, flying, and may seem out of control and may seem scary.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It may seem the opposite of friendly. Just know that it's still the spark and we can, and we are in so many ways galvanized because we're all feeling each other and it's not about fighting for vaccines or fighting against vaccines. It's not about fighting for this or that. It's because there's a sense of separation at the root of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The sparks are flying in different directions it seems, but we're here to remind each other that we are interconnected. That we're all the same. It's the same body that when one spark, like I said, is felt around the world, it is felt in your own body, if you pay attention. And so when that happens, realize that one beautiful act of joy or a thought of joy or a thought of something that you wish for</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's good; please believe that that does change the world, that you are responsible for the outer world. Every action we take is creating everything. That's what I want to talk about today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Actually, that's what we talk about on every show, if you pay attention. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> (Matt laughs) True.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the world is a friendly place. It's a kind world, especially because you're in it and because of our friendship, because we are better, stronger together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what I want to remember. That's what I want to focus on. I have had so many people tell me to basically shut up and mind my own business. And that I am not strong enough or responsible for anything having to do outside of myself. That is the greatest lie and such a terrible way to keep you disempowered</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and on a basic level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think we can all agree that's not true. I mean, family, just talk about family for a second. You know, we're a quote unquote responsible and there's no quote unquote to it. We're responsible for, you know, our family, our daughters. So it's inherently a terrible thing to say to just, you're not responsible for anything outside of yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There are a lot of people who say that; there's a lot of parenting circles that say, you know, you have to let them just be, and on so many levels. Like it's not so, black and white. You know, they'll say you have to let them make mistakes. I agree. But to not... to treat them, like whatever, to treat them, like, okay, you're your own person; I'm not responsible for, you No. Yeah. Yeah. Like how are we talking about how friendship has pretty much become the state that it's in right now. And we always talk about it really originates from the family and how we treat each other in the family is, how we treat each other outside of the family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like . i.e. with friends, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. Well, yeah. We learn how to behave in relationships. Our first learnings come from </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">our family. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And yeah. Parenting parenting circles that do believe that you're not really responsible for your kids. Is that what you were trying to say? That is what I'm trying to say, but I feel like it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> was something I was responsible for teaching them, we're legally responsible, frankly, until they're 18, for sure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But if you look at it, they are responsible for teaching us. They came in full ambassador. Do you remember? I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">mean,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, learning is always a two-way street.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. The best teachers are your students and, and the worst teachers don't understand that. And they try to kick you out of the classroom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or they dictate, and they don't listen to you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> at all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So going back to remembering our power; I just want to say, and just remind us how we do touch everyone's lives; that if you think, oh, this is happening on the other side of the planet, it doesn't really affect me. Guess again. Well, I know that you don't have to our friends listening, but it's like saying that, oh, I have a headache. Oh my stomach, oh, that's not really connected. It's your body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> , I always find it interesting that, on a kind of a very negative note, but heartburn can refer to God knows what's going on in your body. It's usually not just heartburn. It's not usually, well, no, oftentimes it's not a transitory thing that you can just take a Tums and forget about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We often talk about unseen forces. Like when we had Rachel Chevalier and she talked about the lay of the land, lay lines in the ground and the how it's been scientifically proven for decades now, how they affect human biology. We talk about spiritual matters and thoughts and Akashic records, how there is history within everything within a rock with, with everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it, it does have value. It does have information and it does affect us. There are things that we can't see that are intricately powerfully woven inside this big system that is life and it all is operating at the same time. Am I saying it right. Do you understand what I'm saying? Sometimes you stare at the Matt, while I'm talking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, am I just jibber, jabbering?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What is he thinking?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like, am I just not making any sense? Cause I know I can talk about something and go off on a tangent and then I'll hear myself again when I'm editing the podcast. I'm like what, what in the world was I saying? Is it like that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">No, not at all babe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So why are you quiet?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Because you're speaking truth. I'm just going to let you speak for goodness sake.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm done. This is supposed to be both of us talking. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I understand. I find it interesting. When you were talking about how we're electric or electrical or electric beings, and yes, we are, uh, the whole aspect of, you know, you can stimulate the heart using electricity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can stimulate muscles using electricity and they, they describe your nerves when your brain firing and like telling your fingers to move is electric </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They describe the brain as wiring and firing together, your thoughts, right? Yeah. But I briefly mentioned Nikola Tesla, you know, when I taught yoga, all my yoga classes were based on everything, Nikola Tesla.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he said he had the information that our bodies generate enough electricity to light the world. He is not just speaking metaphorically or like being all spiritual Yogi about it. He was a total science guy to the extreme. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He developed so many things. He created so many inventions that were stolen, taken, you know, Edison was a chump, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why are you making that face? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> (Edison) He did invent the light bulb </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> who was working with him? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> 10,000 experiments to get it right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Anyway, let's move on. Yes. Tesla was working with them until he, he ousted Tesla out. Right point once again, what did we do? The weird friend, the awkward friend, the one that doesn't fit in, are that usually the most genius.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> True. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Certainly the most unique and the ones we can learn the most from.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what to do? Here's my suggestion. The world is, seems a certain way right now. I want you all to imagine and wish for what you would like the world to be. Now. It has to be one that is good for humanity; that is joyful. Just try, think of the most joyful, liberating, peaceful nourishing world possible. Make a wish for that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Make the kinds of wishes that would uplift the world. What are those wishes? And I want you to concentrate on that because that is powerful. That is change. That is you creating something. I mean, think about how one man can wreak so much havoc and make millions of people run for their lives. So you are one friend standing in the kitchen, doing dishes, doing the same thing, but the opposite, bringing joy and health and nourishment and love and safety and great beauty to world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, we always say what you focus on grows. And another one of my favorite sayings is of course, whether you go looking for heaven or hell, you'll find it. So for goodness sake, look for heaven, focus on, put your attention on the good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think there's a great electric shock in the act of wishing. Ever since I can remember, if you could grab the phrase that I've said most often in my life it's "Make-A-Wish", I'm always screaming "Make a wish!" I'll see signs everywhere throughout the day. The oven will flash 11, 11, 3 33, 2 22, 1 11, 11, 11. You know, like things like that happen. And then they're just cues for me or, a, lady bug</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">could all of a sudden fly through the air, right on my head. That's a cue for me to make a wish. I think there's such charge in that. There's such power in that. So just make a wish. Make a Make-A-Wish you guys, you don't have to wait for your birthday. You don't have to wait for candles.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just do it. You don't have to wait for the 11, 11 sign on the stove. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So let's make a wish for our friendlier happier, more compassionate world. Let's make a wish for a great family of friends that are better stronger together. Here we are. We're right here. Let's make it bigger. Keep making the wishes, hold that thought of utopia. And when I say that I kind of cringe myself like, Ugh.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, like, I just feel like, um, it's made fun of so much to be so optimistic like that, especially in the midst of such hardship. So what, is it better to like be the other way around? No, I'm going to hold and I'm going to wish for what I think should be, until it actually is in existence. And I'm going to do other things as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm going to physically create things and make things better. I'm just saying, if you think about it, energetically, like electronically, um, what's the word for it? You know, being electric, there's great power in that. There's great power in our thoughts. There is great power within us and we absolutely can change the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the outside world is just the same as our inner world! And probably in the next episode, you're going to hear someone say the absolute opposite. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And if wish is to, I don't know, come up with your word for it, flip it to prayer, flip it to maybe the language of your grandparents, because it's kind of the same, gosh, darn thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It doesn't matter. You know, much like love now, freaks people. Prayer freaks people out because religion has been so bad to people in some ways, in many ways. So we don't choose that word. Like when I was studying to become a yoga instructor, they were saying, don't use the word love because it triggers people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you think about it. So many people have fallen in love and have been heartbroken. So when they hear the word love, it triggers them. So it may not be a happy word for them. It's a charged word. Right. But that can be reprogrammed. We can erase that and reprogram it. And isn't it funny? Like you haven't even said anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I said, we are computer. Like it. I kind of sound like, uh, what's the other guy's name? The Tesla guy, but not my Tesla. The other Tesla that flies rockets in space. Now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Elon Musk?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He and his crew and like like-minded, people will say that life is actually a computer program. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. We're all trapped in the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">matrix.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ugh. I don't want to sound like that. That's not what I'm saying, but it is interesting that we developed computers and we actually fashioned them after ourselves. We created them. We modeled them after ourselves. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Very simplified. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. The computer is a simplified version. Correct?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Computer is a very simple machine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Is it well, to me, it's not, to me. I'm like, I don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">understand you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's blazingly fast, but it's not intuitive. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But like, I think that most people treat the computer as it's stronger than humans. It's more powerful. It's smarter than humans, blah, blah, blah. You can like keep going down the list of how, in so many cases, it's more advanced than a human being, but it's really quite the opposite way around; that the computer is actually fashioned after what we are. We are magnetic galvanized, divine sparks, divine light that is able to interconnect and completely receive and send information out throughout unlimited space and time. No computer can do that yet that we know of. We are the most powerful beings, the most powerful everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's it. Do you have anything else to add? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Not a whisper. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So remember the world is a friendly place. It's a kind world, especially because you are in it and because of our friendship. We're better, stronger together! And remember, you're going to hear people say that you're not powerful, that you are not responsible for the outside world, that you can't really change anything, but yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's not true. Remember that. And we'll talk to you in a few days. Thank you so much. We love you. Yes. To support our show, go to our website, https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ there's a coffee button there https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace. Hey, you know what to do. We love you. Talk to you later. Be well, bang. Bye-bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[This is an URGENT message for today! Let's change what is happening right now!
The world is a safe place, you guys (I KNOW, I KNOW... lately it feels and looks like it's the end of days. It's scary), but there's more to it. The world is also a loving, friendly place. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. And there are all kinds of friends, each one with various amounts of capacities and areas of focused abilities and ways about them.
In this episode, we provide a key to changing the world. We talk about how one man can create chaos and make millions of people experience terror. We talk about how one person also has the power to make everything GREAT! That one person is you. That one person is us. We talk about Nikola Tesla and remind each other of how truly powerful we are and how we can TOTALLY change the world in the midst of terrible things happening.
We've been doing different episodes, "The Quiet Friend", "The Weird Friend", all the different types of friends. Right. And they weave in and out in all directions. If you step away (or up) far away enough in your awareness of the world, you may notice how it's interwoven everything really is.
#Galvanized, #Electric, #powerful, #light, #spark, #change, #electromagnetic, #hotstuff, #ignition, #theworldisasafeplace, #akindworld, #afriendlyworld, #ourfriendlyworldwithfawnandmatt, #betterstrongertogetherTune in to this episode and also to a previous episode when you are done, and you can hear a great reminder from our friend Rachel Chevalier.
to contact Fawn and Matt:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/
 
to support our show:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
previous episode from last March: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/unseen-forces-w-special-guest-rachel-chevalier/
 
Galvanized Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back. Welcome back, everybody. 
[00:00:02] Matt: Hello!
[00:00:03] Fawn: Welcome to our friendly world. The world is a safe place, you guys, but there's more to it. The world is also a loving, friendly place. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. And there are all kinds of friends, each one with various amounts of capacities and areas of focused abilities and ways about them.
We've been doing different episodes, "The Qui...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:22:44</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendly Step #3 - Maintaining the Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Feb 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/friendly-step-3-maintaining-the-friendship</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendly-step-3-maintaining-the-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Step three! DON'T WAIT! A quick 15-minute talk on what to do to maintain a friendship.<br />Remember to go to <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> to let us know about your progress and support our show with a cup of coffee: <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/support/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/support/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. Good morning. We haven't done this in a long time. Remember we used to actually introduce ourselves. Hello. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Good day. Good. Every day. I am Fawn </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. It's kind of strange. We're actually not recording from </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">our kitchen today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why didn't you have to say that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can tell the vibe is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> different, so maybe we should go back to the kitchen. So we're on the couch right now, because for some reason I have been so beyond tired and before we went into the kitchen to record, I was just joking. I'm like, let's just do it right here on the couch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I walk away for a few seconds and then, viola! . The setup is on the couch. And then you got mad at me when I said, no, you said, how, how am I supposed to know? You said the couch. So I set up the couch, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you said the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">couch. You didn't say, ha, just joking. You didn't say no, no, no, seriously. Let's do it in the kitchen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, you didn't say any of that. You said let's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">do it on the couch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was totally joking because I couldn't even think of how am I going to peel myself, peel my butt off the couch to go walk 16 feet over to the kitchen. Toddler table, but here we are. Can you...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Step three! DON'T WAIT! A quick 15-minute talk on what to do to maintain a friendship.Remember to go to https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ to let us know about your progress and support our show with a cup of coffee: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/support/
 
Transcript 

[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. Good morning. We haven't done this in a long time. Remember we used to actually introduce ourselves. Hello. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Good day. Good. Every day. I am Fawn 
[00:00:15] Matt: and 
Matt. 
[00:00:16] Fawn: Hello? 
[00:00:17] Matt: Hello. It's kind of strange. We're actually not recording from 
our kitchen today.
[00:00:21] Fawn: Why didn't you have to say that? 
[00:00:24] Matt: I can tell the vibe is 
[00:00:25] Fawn: different, so maybe we should go back to the kitchen. So we're on the couch right now, because for some reason I have been so beyond tired and before we went into the kitchen to record, I was just joking. I'm like, let's just do it right here on the couch.
And then I walk away for a few seconds and then, viola! . The setup is on the couch. And then you got mad at me when I said, no, you said, how, how am I supposed to know? You said the couch. So I set up the couch, 
[00:00:52] Matt: you said the 
couch. You didn't say, ha, just joking. You didn't say no, no, no, seriously. Let's do it in the kitchen.
No, you didn't say any of that. You said let's 
do it on the couch.
[00:01:00] Fawn: I was totally joking because I couldn't even think of how am I going to peel myself, peel my butt off the couch to go walk 16 feet over to the kitchen. Toddler table, but here we are. Can you...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendly Step #3 - Maintaining the Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Step three! DON'T WAIT! A quick 15-minute talk on what to do to maintain a friendship.<br />Remember to go to <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a> to let us know about your progress and support our show with a cup of coffee: <a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/support/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/support/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript </strong></span></span></p>
<p align="center"><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. Good morning. We haven't done this in a long time. Remember we used to actually introduce ourselves. Hello. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Good day. Good. Every day. I am Fawn </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello. It's kind of strange. We're actually not recording from </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">our kitchen today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why didn't you have to say that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can tell the vibe is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> different, so maybe we should go back to the kitchen. So we're on the couch right now, because for some reason I have been so beyond tired and before we went into the kitchen to record, I was just joking. I'm like, let's just do it right here on the couch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I walk away for a few seconds and then, viola! . The setup is on the couch. And then you got mad at me when I said, no, you said, how, how am I supposed to know? You said the couch. So I set up the couch, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you said the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">couch. You didn't say, ha, just joking. You didn't say no, no, no, seriously. Let's do it in the kitchen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, you didn't say any of that. You said let's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">do it on the couch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was totally joking because I couldn't even think of how am I going to peel myself, peel my butt off the couch to go walk 16 feet over to the kitchen. Toddler table, but here we are. Can you guys tell the difference? Hello, it's a different vibe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I totally expected someone to say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> actually, you know, you wear the headphones. I don't wear the headphones, so. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, baby step number three. Are you guys ready?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So tell them what happened today. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So I wake up frightfully early, but let's pretend I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> don't for a second. Rightfully is no joke guys. Like usually it's 3 30, 3 45 0 </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> 4, 4 15, 4 30 this morning. Thank you very much. You slept in. I slept in, yes. Okay. Anyway, so I got up at four 30 and you know, I do what I do anyways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was. And about, I was wandering around the house, like six </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> 20, by house, our little apartment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, yes, yes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that we rent. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Anyways. I looked out our little, patio window, and I saw somebody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so you saw a spark, you, you recognize this spark out, outside, out there, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like cool.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I knew. They were actually wearing a mask, which is not something I typically see. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nobody wears </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">masks around here, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and yet there they were. I hadn't seen them before, because of course I'd look out the window at people walking all the time. And I was like, oh my goodness, I should go. I should say something, but the kids are asleep.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Fawn's asleep. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I didn't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This was six 30 in the morning. It was like six 30 in the morning plus, and I said </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> six 30 in the morning. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Just do it. Don't wait. Don't wait. All right. And what did we have this conversation before or after the other one? Or I said, oh, so Emily was texting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we were going back and forth earlier, early in the morning. She was commenting on you and you kind of pouted and you said, no, we'll never pings me. And I said, well, and then I gave you a list of our friends that ping you through me through you, because you are not open with your phone number.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So everybody gives me messages to give to you. So I started to make a list of all these people, and then you shut up for a second, but only one respectfully. And then what happened? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And then I said, you need to just reach out to people, just do it,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And then I said, but Groundhog </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">coming. I'll wait till then.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Cause I said, why don't, for example, why don't you reach out to Mel? And you're like, I'll wait until the Groundhog day. Like for real, I'm like, are you serious? No. And you said, well, she didn't ping me back when I pinged her three times and I told you she had something going on in her life. And I told you what that was, that was a grief moment for her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You kept making excuses. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm saying I recognize that. And so I'm coming up with a low impact, excuse. But ultimately it sounds coming up with an excuse. Listen, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> listen, to me, it sounds like I'm totally beating up on you,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and you are,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm not, I'm just trying to tell our friends what happened and what led to this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And it's a perfect example of all the excuses we make up it's a perfect example of how we make a whole bunch of tiny, valid excuses not to ping someone. Right. So step number three, friendly step baby. Step friendly. Step number three. Don't wait, just do it, just do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, oh, now you sound like the expert, like, oh yeah, just do as people. You just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> do it, Matt. This is what you're here for. You're here to call me on my malarkey </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> malarkey. All right. So listen, what do we do to. Reach out and make a friend. Step number one was, I mean, you don't have to go in order, by the way, like I said, you can do any one of these things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just do do them all at some point. But the first one we talked about was when you see someone and you see that spark of that person, everyone has a particular spark about them. Call it out. I used to do it in Santa Monica. I would hang out the window and notice someone from a block away and yell at them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And, but it's a friendly yell. It's a no mistaking friendly yell, because if I were walking down the street in the neighborhood, we live in where I'm not where it's all white. And if someone was yelling at me, I would be scared. Because I'm ready for battle, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> honestly. No, no, no. And that's just a, particularly if you're walking in silence and the whole world is kind of the whole world here is certainly quiet at six 30 on a Sunday.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's not about that. It's about, it's just shocking. So you have to make sure it's like, remember when you made that phone call, when we were trying to get hard hardwood floors. We needed the hardwood floors to be put in before the rest of the house was being done. Right. And you had the task of calling a list of people and no one was available.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Then there was this one owner who said, look, I have so many jobs right now. And she was a. A small business owner and you said good for you, but you totally but see that was your way of communicating your computer programmer way of communicating, you know, hold on. Oh, Matt looks all offended right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hold on a second. Sometimes when we're not used to talking with someone and you've been quiet in your own space for, let's say a few hours a day. When you suddenly have to speak with someone else it's awkward, you're awkward. It's natural. So sometimes some things come out of your mouth in a tone here, guys, here, here are most of our fights.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, you have a tone and then you get all offended. What tone are you talking? You know, like we get over, we get into a fight over a tone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We're not the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">only ones folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's a tone that pops out that could be so devastating to the other person. It could be insulting. So when you're yelling at this person, the happy yell, you have to make sure in no uncertain terms, it sounds loving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. So yeah, you, you have to be limber. So sometimes that is why I just go for it. And I say, I love you, even though I don't know the person. But I noticed that spark and I have a feeling, oh, this could be a situation where they get, they could get scared or offended because God knows what's going on in their mind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Maybe they're thinking about all the ways that they've experienced injustice. And if you start yelling, they're not hearing your words, but they're, they're seeing some crazy guy from this window yelling at them. Do you know what I mean? Right. So you and no uncertain terms, they can hear. I love you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're fabulous. You know what I mean? It has to be like that. So that was step number one. Step number two was imitate that movie "Wings of Desire" where you are acting like an angel from the movie. What the angels from that movie do is they place all their focused energy on this one person and they place their hand on their shoulder and it changes that person's mindset and it changes their worldview for the better, and then they feel better and they move on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That was friendly step number two. Today's step is just do it already. No excuses. Don't wait, send a text. The text could be for no reason, but once again, same as yelling at someone: I love you, thinking of you. You're fabulous. You're amazing. Have a beautiful everyday. Just pick something good, something sweet and short and sweet, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> short and sweet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So you make it sound like you're the expert Matt, but do you do that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I've been thinking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">about that and yes, I, I haven't necessarily been as good as I've been in the past, but yes I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We'll just do it. Cause you're thinking about it. Thinking is not doing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Don't overthink it., so this is Matt's tip Matt of Fawn and Matt's tip for you today and only mine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">so like, and it could be a text. It could be a phone call. Some people panic over phone calls, like on the other side. Right. Um, I realized someone was not a friend when I randomly called her and she yelled at me and I never called her again. And I realized as things went on, I watched her differently and I realized this person is a hating, person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Gotcha. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So out off the list, leave much like the gaslighting situation when something doesn't feel right and you work and you work and, you know, just leave. Bye. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Next. You have things to do. All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean, that's certainly falls right into that. Make sure somebody meets you in the middle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So don't wait, just do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Can you think of something else, Matt, besides a text, you can send her a phone call if it's possible. , I've been sending random gifts to people for no reason. Right? I used to do that all the time. When we didn't have kids and money, it wasn't, it was money was always an issue for me. But you know, like in the neighborhood I could always find something for 25 cents or something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? And gift it to them. Or we would find something right. And randomly show up with a gift and run away. You don't always have to run away, but like, remember, remember back in the day I was getting tested, it was a long time ago. But I was getting tested for an orange belt in karate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And some friends showed up outside the door and they brought everything, orange, orange juice, an orange flower they picked, do you know what I mean? It's stuff like that. So there you go. A negative wisdom from Santa Monica. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Gotcha. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Little gifts and it</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">doesn't have to require money, but that's another way to just do it. Don't wait, make a move and much like lending money to someone. Never expect to get it back. Otherwise it's going to cause you a whole bunch of grief. Do something where, you know, it's not going to put you out. I'm not going to lend this person $10,000.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? Right. Because right now that $10,000, there's no way it would, it would destroy my life right now. Do you know what I mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, well, that's just it, I think I certainly centering around little </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> things, but I can lend someone a dollar ultimately </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> can mean big things for others. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Um, so there, can you think of any other examples of how you could.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Randomly without waiting just who each out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I mean, there's, emailing there's Facebook messaging, there's LinkedIn messaging. I mean, you know, every single platform seems to have a way to message, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> uh, text, phone call, ways to message someone. Right. All right. That will just put that under one category, sending a gift.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So I'm going to go next level today. Okay, cool. I'm going to send Mel the equivalent of a mixed tape. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, she's not going to like it, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but I'm going to be thoughtful about it. And we'll see what we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">see. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're going to push your music on her. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's it's. It's just a little taste and it's, it's, you know, a little taste of the simple stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How are you going to do that? How do you do that? Think I'm going to send her an audio file.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">going to send an email that has links to YouTube videos. I think that's what I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">going to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nice, babe. Oh my God. Modern day version of mixed tape. Wow. I like it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Hmm. Okay. Well, that's it for today? What do you guys think? Let me know, let us know, reach out to us. Can you please reach out to us? Go to our friendly world podcast.com. I want to start a group like, like a zoom party and we can all get together and speak and talk and just be together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please? Go to contact. When you go to our friendly world podcast.com and while you're there, there is a, there's a little button on the website for a cup of coffee, to support us, to support our podcast, buy as a cup of coffee, please. That's it. Let's see. Anything else, babe?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Today's your day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Every day is your day. Seize it. Don't wait. All right, we'll talk to you in just a few. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Be well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> love you guys. Bye bye-bye.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/80232f4c-e929-4542-987e-7ce3b465ac3c/Friendly-Step-3-Don-t-Wait.mp3" length="15212148"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Step three! DON'T WAIT! A quick 15-minute talk on what to do to maintain a friendship.Remember to go to https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ to let us know about your progress and support our show with a cup of coffee: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/support/
 
Transcript 

[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. Good morning. We haven't done this in a long time. Remember we used to actually introduce ourselves. Hello. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Good day. Good. Every day. I am Fawn 
[00:00:15] Matt: and 
Matt. 
[00:00:16] Fawn: Hello? 
[00:00:17] Matt: Hello. It's kind of strange. We're actually not recording from 
our kitchen today.
[00:00:21] Fawn: Why didn't you have to say that? 
[00:00:24] Matt: I can tell the vibe is 
[00:00:25] Fawn: different, so maybe we should go back to the kitchen. So we're on the couch right now, because for some reason I have been so beyond tired and before we went into the kitchen to record, I was just joking. I'm like, let's just do it right here on the couch.
And then I walk away for a few seconds and then, viola! . The setup is on the couch. And then you got mad at me when I said, no, you said, how, how am I supposed to know? You said the couch. So I set up the couch, 
[00:00:52] Matt: you said the 
couch. You didn't say, ha, just joking. You didn't say no, no, no, seriously. Let's do it in the kitchen.
No, you didn't say any of that. You said let's 
do it on the couch.
[00:01:00] Fawn: I was totally joking because I couldn't even think of how am I going to peel myself, peel my butt off the couch to go walk 16 feet over to the kitchen. Toddler table, but here we are. Can you...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:15:50</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Gaslighting in America - That No-Good Friend with special guest Emily Powell Gilliam]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Feb 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/gaslighting-in-america-that-no-good-friend-with-special-guest-emily-powell-gilliam</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/gaslighting-in-america-that-no-good-friend-with-special-guest-emily-powell-gilliam</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This episode came about as our friend Emily was "Goodwill Hunting" and our conversation that began on Gaslighting in America. We laugh and we get scared and we ultimately feel empowered to live a good life, one in which we support each other and are mentally, physically, and socially healthy and good and we laugh again.</p>
<p>Join this conversation about gaslighting, existential guilt crisis, how to deal with gaslighting at work and with friends and family, and also poop emojis.</p>
<p>You will LOVE your new friend Emily Powell Gilliam!</p>
<p>Emily Powell Gilliam is a designer of play objects and founder of <em>Why &amp; Wiser</em>, creating artful games and gifts for clever kiddos and their grownups. <br /><br />To reach Emily:<br /><a href="http://www.epgdesign.co/">http://www.epgdesign.co/</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.whyandwiser.com/">http://www.whyandwiser.com/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/epgdesignco/">https://www.instagram.com/epgdesignco/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> I had lots of ways of dealing with her. And for four years that was enough. And then, you know, I S I just like, it wore me down and my own, like physical, well, mental first health, and then physical health, just like, you know, went over a cliff, like, and told that if I wanted to be considered for promotion, I needed to work on being softer, use shorter words, be less aggressive. And that I intimidated the owner basically like be more female. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See that that's weird because , when you were describing it, I was like, oh my God, where are you coming across as, too passive?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's why they didn't consider you for a manager because they didn't see you as a manager type, but they just saw you as a rabble rouser, and a troublemaker, but then why not just, can you, I mean, it's, it's a weird thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Well, if they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">canned me, they would have to pay unemployement. and my twin, is far less straightforward as a person because I'm not, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you're not a shrinking violet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">not even a violet, I'm like a thistle</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">My husband was like, you can't, you can't stay there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And then my therapist was like, you're literally doing physical damage to your body from the extended, stress of dealing with this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is why it's important to have friends. Yes, because Emily, I never would have suspected that an...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode came about as our friend Emily was "Goodwill Hunting" and our conversation that began on Gaslighting in America. We laugh and we get scared and we ultimately feel empowered to live a good life, one in which we support each other and are mentally, physically, and socially healthy and good and we laugh again.
Join this conversation about gaslighting, existential guilt crisis, how to deal with gaslighting at work and with friends and family, and also poop emojis.
You will LOVE your new friend Emily Powell Gilliam!
Emily Powell Gilliam is a designer of play objects and founder of Why & Wiser, creating artful games and gifts for clever kiddos and their grownups. To reach Emily:http://www.epgdesign.co/
http://www.whyandwiser.com/
https://www.instagram.com/epgdesignco/
 
 
 
 
 
Transcript 
[00:00:00] Emily: I had lots of ways of dealing with her. And for four years that was enough. And then, you know, I S I just like, it wore me down and my own, like physical, well, mental first health, and then physical health, just like, you know, went over a cliff, like, and told that if I wanted to be considered for promotion, I needed to work on being softer, use shorter words, be less aggressive. And that I intimidated the owner basically like be more female. 
[00:00:47] Matt: See that that's weird because , when you were describing it, I was like, oh my God, where are you coming across as, too passive?
And that's why they didn't consider you for a manager because they didn't see you as a manager type, but they just saw you as a rabble rouser, and a troublemaker, but then why not just, can you, I mean, it's, it's a weird thing. 
[00:01:04] Emily: Well, if they 
canned me, they would have to pay unemployement. and my twin, is far less straightforward as a person because I'm not, 
[00:01:14] Matt: you're not a shrinking violet.
[00:01:16] Emily: I'm 
not even a violet, I'm like a thistle
 My husband was like, you can't, you can't stay there.
 And then my therapist was like, you're literally doing physical damage to your body from the extended, stress of dealing with this 
[00:01:35] Fawn: This is why it's important to have friends. Yes, because Emily, I never would have suspected that an...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Gaslighting in America - That No-Good Friend with special guest Emily Powell Gilliam]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This episode came about as our friend Emily was "Goodwill Hunting" and our conversation that began on Gaslighting in America. We laugh and we get scared and we ultimately feel empowered to live a good life, one in which we support each other and are mentally, physically, and socially healthy and good and we laugh again.</p>
<p>Join this conversation about gaslighting, existential guilt crisis, how to deal with gaslighting at work and with friends and family, and also poop emojis.</p>
<p>You will LOVE your new friend Emily Powell Gilliam!</p>
<p>Emily Powell Gilliam is a designer of play objects and founder of <em>Why &amp; Wiser</em>, creating artful games and gifts for clever kiddos and their grownups. <br /><br />To reach Emily:<br /><a href="http://www.epgdesign.co/">http://www.epgdesign.co/</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.whyandwiser.com/">http://www.whyandwiser.com/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/epgdesignco/">https://www.instagram.com/epgdesignco/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> I had lots of ways of dealing with her. And for four years that was enough. And then, you know, I S I just like, it wore me down and my own, like physical, well, mental first health, and then physical health, just like, you know, went over a cliff, like, and told that if I wanted to be considered for promotion, I needed to work on being softer, use shorter words, be less aggressive. And that I intimidated the owner basically like be more female. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See that that's weird because , when you were describing it, I was like, oh my God, where are you coming across as, too passive?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's why they didn't consider you for a manager because they didn't see you as a manager type, but they just saw you as a rabble rouser, and a troublemaker, but then why not just, can you, I mean, it's, it's a weird thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Well, if they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">canned me, they would have to pay unemployement. and my twin, is far less straightforward as a person because I'm not, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you're not a shrinking violet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">not even a violet, I'm like a thistle</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">My husband was like, you can't, you can't stay there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And then my therapist was like, you're literally doing physical damage to your body from the extended, stress of dealing with this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is why it's important to have friends. Yes, because Emily, I never would have suspected that anyone would treat you like that because you were so sharp and a bright light at the same time. To me, you encompass, you embody all of the beautiful traits. You're lovely to be around. You're funny. You're very sharp. You're very smart. You're very witty. I, a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> lot of people are threatened by that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, very much are threatened. Traditional gender roles still exist. It's, it's, it's a little frightening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, and you know what, I'll be honest. I go through my own cavortations about it, you know, I'm currently, um, Not boss because we're not technically on the same level, their pronouns. Are they in them, bud? You, if I don't screw it up all the time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And he's lucky we're all in the same room together. So the kids are always yelling at him as soon and they're doing their work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's so weird how they can using it now. So, but like as soon as Matt starts saying sh for she, they were like, Hey, and we're all now screaming at him. Um, Nope. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Fortunately they're very cool. I've had many conversations with them and I have apologized profusely on every single occasion and they're like, I get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. We're still fine, but still, it still bothers me. But again, traditional gender roles. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's confusing for people and people want things to be simple. So, you know, let's put the, let's put the girl in her place. Let's, you know, let's promote black </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> or white, no grays. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Now, did your manager transition in the time that you knew them or were they </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> always, I just started and this is all first person I've worked with closely who is a they them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Okay. So it's just like, it's almost like muscle memory </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and I run and here's the, here's the real problem that I have personally, and this is just me, but the, they and them are plurals.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> That's no longer </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> true. I know, but that's how, and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we're going to sound like old people, but that's how I grew up. That's how I was taught. Somebody </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> explained it to me this way. And I found it to be powerfully persuasive in, in terms of grammar. So if you were, if I was telling you the story about my manager, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you didn't know if the manager was a, a male or a female, how would you refer to them? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Bravo. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> True. Uh, I probably keep saying the manager, the manager, the manager I'd be pathological that way. And I, it, in the context of one story, I can do it in the context of casual conversation. I can't, that's the that's the switch, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> but I'm just saying grammatically, it is correct to refer to an unknown gender person as they then, like, I didn't know what they said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I get the fact that that's the rule </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> now. And all you have to do is extrapolate that this person also doesn't know what gender they like. Obviously they know that they are not a gender. To me, it's the same concept. That made a lot of sense to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> me when I heard it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It totally makes a lot of sense. I love that. And yeah. In terms of the grammar, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> it doesn't mean that the muscle memory habits, aren't still it's like we were talking about speaking a foreign language when your tongue is like out of shape, like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah. Let's, let's remind people what we're talking about. So Emily and I were talking about speaking, different languages, pronouncing things a certain way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Emily, and then. And you, and I talk about this all the time. Like when I'm trying to tell you how to pronounce something in Farsi, your tongue, is used to exercising a certain way. It's like being at the gym, you know, if you're like a ballet person or let's say you're a muscle builder, and then you take a full-on ballet class.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You know how to technically do a, plie, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:50]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> something like that to do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it, but you can't and you think you're about to do it, but there's no way you're going to look like the ballerina that does the plie when you're, I don't know, 1800 pounds of pure muscle, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, no, no, no. That's why like out in the world, their distance runners and speed runners, your bodies are different and, cyclists have their own body triathletes have their own, like, you know, custom bodies that work best.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's pretty. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Crazy. It works the same way with the tongue. So you have to really get limber to speak a different language, depending on the language you use different parts of your tongue. Right. And Emily described it perfectly, like, what were you saying?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You were saying the thing about a push-up oh yeah. Like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> I know what a push-up looks like in theory, when I go to it, don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">look like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But also going back, I was trying to say, Emily, thank you for sharing your story because I look to you with, so much admiration. So for you to tell that story about what happened at work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I feel less alone because the same exact stuff happened to me once again. Sorry guys to bore you. But it happened to me in yoga total. Like, you know, I always walked in with a respect, especially because of my martial arts background. Um, I even took my martial arts background in like the respectful manner into the yoga studio where, when I walked into the studio, I always bowed, like it was the, the martial arts studio.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You know, like you would never enter the room with your shoes and without bowing with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:41]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> respect, don't disrespect, the mat ever, right. That's not the mat me, but the mat </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> on the floor. So I would balance everything. What I'm trying to say is I all. Carried myself with, with that sense of, I am honoring everyone, even though when I got home, most days I was in tears because of the way these people treated me and I was studying to become a yoga instructor.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So going through many hours of training and the head of the school and all her cronies were so awful. And, you know, they were all definitely. Can I just say Caucasian? Can I say that Emily, they were all white and you know, we're in a small town in Colorado and they think because they do yoga or they studied yoga in their own American capitalist way that they are so enlightened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I tried so hard to have them understand my perspective, the things that they were saying, even behind my back, that I could hear, you know, they thought I left the room and they would say the most messed up stuff. Once I started to express what was going on, from my perspective saying, I don't feel supported because of a, B and C.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Can you please help me because, and to put myself even lower in that, putting myself in that lower position so that they don't feel uncomfortable or threatened, thank you, or threatened. Um, and I only did this because I mean, my, one of my best friends, Holly, who doesn't even live here, I would talk to her and she'd be like, that's where the first time I really heard gaslighting was like, she's like, they're gaslighting you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I really didn't know what it meant. I got the gist of it. Like what it meant, but I really didn't know for real those specifics and the dynamics of gaslighting, I just said, okay. Yeah. So she's like, just go tell them that this is not a supportive atmosphere and that you'd like to have, you know, try to fix it, like try to work on it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And as soon as I did, Matt was saying, honey, when you go in there ex expect, no, uh, what's the word you always use expect no </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> satisfaction </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> satisfaction, because no matter what you say, you're not going to be satisfied with what they come back at you with. Okay. And I'm like, okay, I can handle that. So I was, I went in armed with that and sure enough, even though I went in with that knowledge of that satisfaction. I still felt so blown away by the ignorance. And I guess by the gas lighting, because as soon as I said it, I was met with exactly what you said, Matt, total denial, complete denial. What do you mean? No. I'm like, and they were like, and then she's like, but everybody loves you. I'm like, no, obviously everyone doesn't love me because of a, B and Z.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she's like, no, you're imagining it. It's all in your head. And then, and Emily knows more of the story actually, because I mean, it was, it was a few years of this. Right. And then she said immediately, without skipping a beat, she had that face on her like, oh, you know, you're making this way more than it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not really, you're imagining it. And in a split second her face changed. And she's like, yeah, They've been complaining about you too, you know, mind you, I was not complaining about anybody. I did not name any names. I didn't even say people. I just said this, I'm feeling this atmosphere of, disrespect</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and she's like, you know, they have been complaining about you too, and let's face it. You don't have the easiest personality. You're very threatening. I'm like what? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:49]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's because you're 12 feet tall and you've got, you know, 1800 pounds of muscle on you. I mean, you're physically, your physical presence is scary, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> kidding.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my God. I'm like the shortest person you'll ever meet probably </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:02]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> kindest eyes</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do I have kind eyes? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You have kind eyes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thanks babe. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> you know, I mean, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">had different, but similar experiences where, I'd be in a management staff meeting and the owner who's male would be going through things that didn't go right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And processes to improve them going forward. One time I asked literally for clarification on the improvement, because it was the same process that we said we would do the year before to improve, but then come deadline time, we fell back into old habits.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Which is understandable. But I just wanted to understand what the real difference was between that suggested improvement and the current way, because there was no difference really. and the owner got all red in the face and in front of all the managers yelled at me and told me to stop my bit C H ing, and just do my job.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I just remember thinking I could not picture him doing that to a male colleague in front of everybody. Like maybe he would be, you know, upset in the closed door meeting with a male colleague, but to also humiliate me at a table of management. I mean, I just felt fundamentally that it had a lot to do with being female; the way that he couched it, like, uh, That word is used as a female thing, like, like complaining, , but like aggressive. Right? and I just, yeah, I, I totally appreciate where our friend Coy was coming from in saying like, how do you deal with these things when you have no choice? Because it was my job! I needed it, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, and I job hunted for two or three years. I, I applied to stuff, but that's only so much under your control to be able to just walk away. I mean, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> exactly to leave that job or able to abuse you because they have that upper handed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> And it's the same in domestic situation. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's not so simple as "run" for everyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it's complex too, but there does come a day where you've crossed the threshold into your life, like your ability to live and for how long. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, we spend more time at work than we do in our private lives. Even at home now we spend more time at work than we do at home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We spend more time </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> working, I think, than ever </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> before </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's what I'm trying to say. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> So with our, whoever we live with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> ourselves, so now they've merged. This is why I'm always saying that's why we need to remember the art of friendship. Because when we are together, you have more support on all levels in life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your friend can say, "F that job come live with me," if you have to. Or "we're going to figure this thing out together, I'm going to help you or you're not alone."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">so our friend coy was supposed to join us today and she can't. So what we're going to do is do a part two because Coy comes at the whole gaslighting thing in a completely different way than we all do, because like we were saying, when things like this happen, we're just out, we will disappear from your lives.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You'll never see us again. Like the other day I was saying, Emily texted me a line vector, which is like a drawing for a graphic artists. So Emily sends me the greatest texts ever. We are rolling with laughter every time the phone dings Elle and Allegra will run to see what Emily has offered us today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so one of the things she texted was, an image of a hand. And I guess it was an ad for soap, but nowadays that kind of swirly thing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> almost looks like soft serve ice cream </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> now is considered the poop emoji </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it's gotta have the little face and smiley. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">yes,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but it's just like the</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">drawing of the poop emoji on someone's hand with stars around it, like all magical, like totally magical and sparkly. And so it's like that. It's like, you don't know what someone is offering you. It could go either way. So always be suspicious in a way, it could be one or the other. You have to be discriminating; like, what is this that this person is saying is soap. Is it really soap or is it the other thing? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Is it sparkly, poop, emoji?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's a term that says don't pee on me and tell me it's raining. Isn't, there's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:12]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> some, there's, there's actually a song where they're like, don't say it's raining when you're pissing down my back. Stop giving me a heart attack.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am. But anyways, so you guys </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> heavy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> metals.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome to our show. Everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. As we're speaking about gaslighting, uh, guys, welcome to our friendly world. Everyone. We are here with our friend, Emily. I really want to introduce you to Emily. I want to respectfully introduce you to our friend, Emily, Emily Powel Gilliam</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">she, hi. Yeah. So truth be told. This is our second time recording the show. We did the show; like we had it all prepared. We talked for three and a half hours, three and a half hours. Well, some of us talked, Matt. It's hard to get a word in edgewise. Okay guys. Here's what happened. The reason why we are redoing this show and we'll concentrate on how to work with these people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think I love that this hour, let's just do how we do. Okay. Like how we notice what gas lighting is and we'll get into the specifics of it. And how to actually maneuver </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:28]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Nice. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> There are some people that you just simply cannot get out of your lives.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like a family member. I'm like, well, I had to, I went through many therapists. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Some people don't have the emotional distancing techniques that we've got, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but there's some amazing techniques that is needed in the world today </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There are certainly some people that you can't, get out of your life or can't get out of your life right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you certainly need to deal with what's in your face. Uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so I, oh, sorry. Let me just, let me just tell our friends out there. I want you to know that if you do want to get ahold of Emily, if you want to find out more about Emily and you should, because she is, the people, I would say most people, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We had one person that was so awful on our show, but the people that we have on our show are all our friends. And I want you to also be friends with them and them to be friends with you and they being friends with you. My grammar sometimes, I don't know. No, no. I'm talking about PR. I know, like I still, even though I have taught our kids well and they know how to do it, I still get confused after I teach it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Is it whom, who, who, I don't know. Whom who, who, who, anyway, what I'm trying to say is Emily, if you want to contact Emily, all her information is on our website, our friendly world podcast.com. In the search bar, put in her name and you'll get all her information. Or, the direct links are right in the show notes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Emily Powel Gilliam is an amazing artist. She's a writer illustrator. To be friends with Emily, Emily is a type of person that in life has such a piercing Vision. She has the mind of the top comedians in the world, the really talented comedians in the world, because they are the ones who quietly notice every little detail that most people skim over, or don't even recognize.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are people who can stop and smell the roses. There are people who can see something beautiful. Emily does that, but on a hyper level where she can notice everything from the absurdities to the beautiful things and point them out to you and, you know, life gets really busy and we go through. It's so easy to skip over things and not notice something that could be glaring at you, but you're obviously oblivious to it because you're so stuck in something. Emily</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">finds those things. And it's so important to just, how do I say this? Cause I don't want to sound like a one or two friends as far as the Nicomachean ethics of friendship, because I love Emily for Emily. I'm not saying I'm friends with Emily because she does this, but I just want to highlight our friend's amazing gifts. And one of the gifts that Emily has that we can all learn from is the ability to spot things in life. It could be in conversation; she'll spot speech, words that are said that you will skip over.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, does that make sense? Do you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> absolutely do case in point for me personally, at least I started really thinking about when people say it's the least I could do. Hmm. That's a terrible thing to say, just in general, just blow your mind for just a second. So I'm going to do this because it's the least I can do for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know? Like literally, like that's like a bare minimum. That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> terrible. That's terrible. Maybe like, no offense. I'm about to offend you like exist. I could do, because I didn't want to do more. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Right. And I, I, you know, if I did less than what I'd look like a bad person. Right. So it's all about me. Yo, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> apple friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let me get back to Emily for a second.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want you all to become friends. I feel like our show is kind of like a cocktail party without the cocktails. Maybe. I mean, you could be, anyone could be drinking anything, but we're, you know, usually here with tea and coffee, but do you know what I mean, coffeetale. People have their podcasts and it's this interview format, whereas ours, it's literally at our kitchen table.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like you will hear the sink running, you will hear the oven sometimes. The kids will come in and you hear the banging of pots and plates and everything. What this is, is imagine you're at a party. I'm here with standing with Matt, sitting with Matt and we're talking to Emily and then you come along, you know, and I'm like, hi, I want to introduce you to Emily, Emily.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is you out there listening. That's that's our show. It's up to you to continue the friendship. I'm not here to interview Emily. I'm not here to talk about what someone does for a living, because I hate that I, a person as a human being, they're not their job. So as soon as you meet someone, they're like, hi, this is Emily she's PhD.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, she is a doctor of such-and-such. Why, why the resume? But having said that, I just, I do want to say check out Emily's work. She's an amazing designer. I'm just going to say it. Okay. So having said what I just said, I, I do here's the resume. I know, but I do want you to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want you to get to know Emily better, and you're going to get to know her more on our show, but I just want to say Emily Powell Gilliam is a designer of play objects and founder of Why and Wiser. Can you do that thing again? What you did with Why and Wiser? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Oh yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, uh, the idea behind naming my company was I just love the way that children are always asking why.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then the wiser comes from embracing the continual path toward more wisdom. That's a very Socratic wiser </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yesterday. You said, uh, you said ask why and you become wiser.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Yeah, that's true. Okay. Sorry. No, you have nothing to apologize for. Nodo I just love that. Stop it. I love you have nothing to be sorry for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and ask why and get wiser.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is good. Short and sweet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's another thing Emily taught me was, you know, I'm trying so hard every day to tell Elle and Allegra stop apologizing because as women, we constantly apologize for everything and I don't want them to grow up like that. So every time they say, I'm sorry, I'm like, no. And then Emily said, next time, just say you have nothing to apologize for.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I tried that Emily, and it totally shifted everything immediately. I could tell that it worked just looking at their physical presence. It shifted everything. They're like, oh, they felt lighter. You have nothing to apologize for. So Why and wiser, you create artful games and gifts for clever kiddos.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have such you're like the child whisper is Emily told me stories about when she was a kid in the neighborhood. Am I saying this right? Is it okay for me to tell our friends your story? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but so you'd be in the neighborhood and there all these kids around and all of a sudden the parents disappeared and you're totally babysitting all these kids.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like it would happen all the time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> responsible one. No, she's the fun. She's the whisper. I think she is, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> yes. I am highly responsible. And, but also. I have just so as a child, I always related to adults. Ironically, my father would tell me that I was born to be an adult, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">as the more I grow into adulthood, the more I really just relate to children.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're brutally honest. They're always like filled with wonder and observation. They are so good at processing with imagination and a humor. And I just, um, I don't know, they're like my forever peers. But when you approach children from that place, they feel it just like anybody does; that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you're treating them as a respected peer, that we gravitate toward each other, like two objects. We just one of us falls into orbit. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt and I always talk about people, are we, usually we say stuck, but stuck is the wrong word in this conversation. But we always notice how, no matter how old someone is that they are a particular age.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And usually we use the term stuck because I think when some trauma happens or some embarrassment, which is still a trauma, right. When that happens, that person freezes in time, it seems like until they clear it up. And in most cases they don't, they are frozen at that particular moment as time goes on. So they could be 40, 50, 60, 70, but they're stuck at age 11.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? But stuck is not the right word for us here. I'm going to say, what age do you operate in? What perspective of age do you operate with? , Matt is prepared, actually. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I always say I'm eight years old, but in point of fact, I try and cultivate a Zen mind beginner's mind, and I try and see, try and see things fresh all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That helps me in my career. That helps me with people in general. I have this deep seated belief that everybody has at least one utterly fascinating story or hobby or something. And sometimes I think it's my job to tease that out of them because I love finding these things. even the most stodgy person is passionate about something and it could be the most ridiculous or the most awesome thing, but they're so passionate about it,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">they'll infect you with it maybe for a minute or maybe for a lifetime. You just don't know. People are amazing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So would you say you're at age four and five Emily? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Yes, my in, I always refer to my inner four year. Yeah. Um, I also often referred to my inner 80 year old. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it depends on the situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, no know, it's interesting as a photographer, this is something I always noticed. This is how I see people, no matter what culture they're from, what country they're from, no matter what skin tone they have, I feel like babies, you know, children, young, young children and people that are, I don't want to say at the end of their lives, that's totally wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But people that are way, way older that have been on the planet, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> amassed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">more life experience. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That they are almost on the same level; that they start transcending any kind of, you know, like we expect someone to look a certain way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If they are certain culture, you expect them to look this way. Like even a skin pigmentation, like everyone starts to look like a baby again. And babies start looking like old people when they're born. You know what I mean? Like there's some common thread right there where visually and spiritually, they are on the same level in a way </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> that is so interesting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know if I'm explaining that right. You understand what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> I picked up what you were putting </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So like, when I look at, when I photographed some really, um, I don't want to say old people. I don't, you're the words, man. And what I will have photographs and elder, let's say in a village walking around and they have a lot of wrinkles on them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, they look like a baby to me. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And, you know, there's that famous saying that all babies look like Winston Churchill. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. Yeah. So, okay. But again, so I just want to point out your websites. You have to there's one https://www.epgdesign.co and https://www.whyandwiser.com/ to find more of the beauty of Emily and what she does in the world,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">go there. Again, you'll see her in our show notes, all the links and everything. So let's get back to it. The reason why we're doing this episode is because of Emily. Emily spotted something. And once again, she texted me. So the reason why this episode comes to us today is because Emily went to Goodwill, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Emily, it was Goodwill, right? Yes. Emily goes to Goodwill, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> I was Goodwill hunting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You are so ready. See what I'm talking about. I love that. So Goodwill hunting for those of you and other countries, you know, um, is a famous movie that Matt Damon. And what's his name? Robin Williams. Robin Williams. Robin. No, but the other one, not Robin Williams.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Of course. Robin Williams. Ben Affleck. Thank you, Ben Affleck. It was the first movie that he did. Was it the first movie they did, but they won an Oscar, right? So a famous movie, Goodwill hunting. So Emily was Goodwill hunting and I got a text from Emily. I look at it and I say to myself, oh oh!, This is about to get serious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's a picture of a book that she just found and it's the binder. And it says Gaslighting in America. Wow. It's yeah. And it was an old book. And then she's like, look at this and she sends me another text, another picture. And it's the inside. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Emily, can you please describe what happened? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Yes. When I opened the book, because the cover just was similar to the binding, it just had the title. And when I opened the book, it was not what I expected. It was a historic preservation book about actual lights fueled by gas in America. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And we started laughing over here. And we started to really get into this whole thing of gaslighting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And like I said before, I really didn't know what it meant truly. So we dove in deep we went into DBF. We went in and I started to look for what is going on after our second conversation about the gas lighting. And you, once again, this is why it's so good to have friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Emily pointed out to me that first of all, she didn't even realize that we're so into etymology here, but she's like, do you know the, where, where it comes from? Do you know the term, gaslighting comes from this, it was a play. I'm like what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So there's no Greek, there's no Latin folks. It is this play that was done in 1938 </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and later done as a movie,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> twice. It was done in 1940 originally. And then there was another one in 1944 with Ingrid Bergman </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> who won an Oscar for that, her role. See, I saw the first movie after Emily, after Emily told me about the play.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I started to try to look for as much information as I could about it. So I got into the play and then, I found a movie and the one I found was the first movie. The plate is set in 1880. The movie was done in 1940 and the play was done in 1938. And so it was just, it was fascinating to the more I started reading.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The better I could understand it all. And then we ended up having a three and a half hour talk about this on our podcast. Emily and I got so excited that Matt couldn't even say a word,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> not unlike today, but</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> , so as I was editing it, I was almost done editing the whole show three and a half hours guys, three and a half hours of excited talking and, you know, going from point a to point Z and like, boop, boop, boop, like going everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt is making fun because throughout this whole time stop it Matt, Matt said three things and it was, (fawn makes a ehhm sound) that's all he said. He said "ehHmm"</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> three times, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> three times in three and a half hours. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Oh my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">gosh.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Let's let's let's come to it. Shall we? Well, uh, go ahead. Okay. So gaslighting, have you ever in your life ever told a blatant lie, denied somebody attacked somebody's fundamentals.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Tell, a person or people around that person that this person's crazy. Have you ever been someone's sole source of truth ever? You may have Gaslighted somebody's. Well, welcome to guess what I'm guilty probably of doing every single one of those things at one point or another. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now let's stop? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Does that make me a gas lighter?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Hold on, hold on. Because we've already talked about it for like a million hours. Let me just start from the beginning. Let's just start from the beginning. All right. Let me get into it. And we're, we're all take turns talking this time. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, were you practicing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> that in the mirror?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, no, I got a whole bunch of other points here too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, we ha oh my goodness. I'm so proud of you guys. Well, what happened was when we, when our episode ended, when we started, when we stopped recording the house was so weird and I just felt like a miserable person. I'm like, oh my God, I just totally steamrolled Matt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And then he's thinking I'm probably steamrolling you guys. And everyone felt like a miserable human being, because I'm telling you, when I watched the movie, I felt like a miserable human </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">being. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:24]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No doubt felt very </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">dirty.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I felt dirty. I told, I texted Emily. I'm like, I have to take a shower. I feel gross.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You described it perfectly. Remember Emily, what did he say about, we were like, Matt, what's wrong? How come you didn'ttalk? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. He </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> was saying </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that feeling of when you're a kid in a classroom and the teacher is reprimanding another student, , and you had nothing to do with the object of like guilt, but you still feel permeated by that same feeling like empathetically vibing off that guilt and then questioning like every action you did that day, like, and it was such an accurate ...I...</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everyone can relate to some form of that. I think of getting in trouble, vicariously through somebody else. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, or somebody gets caught for doing something that you had done 10 seconds before. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. You just feel guilty. Like the guilt is, is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> it's existential guilt crisis. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. Thank you, Emily. Yeah, totally.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So we're going to redo it. Okay. Let me just, we'll start from the beginning. All right. Let's go back to the meaning of gaslighting. And I took notes from various different sources, mostly, uh, therapists, psychologists, and everything. Let's get into it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So gas lighting is manipulation and deception. It's a verb: to gas light. It's a form of psychological manipulation where a person seeks to make their targeted individual or group, question their own memory, perception, and sanity. So in this movie, the gas light. can you, Emily, describe to our friends out there, the way you described it to me, what the play was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">With the way you described it to me was the guy that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> just to be clear, I I've never watched it. I just read the Wikipedia entry. So thank you, Wikipedia. But the general premise of it is that, a husband and wife, the man is actually physically changing the state of the Gaslight in their home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then when the woman perceives and comments on that change, he maintains that there is no change. And basically does that to the point where she can't believe her own senses, and starts to believe that she's crazy, which is what his goal is; to make her feel crazy and take her money.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And in the first movie, here's what happens and it lays out perfectly what gaslighting is. And one of the things that I've been trying to get across to people for many, many years without bringing in the whole term of gaslighting is look, we're all isolated. And I'm not talking about the isolation that's occurred because of the worldwide pandemic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've been saying for two decades now that there is a loneliness epidemic happening, especially in the United States. That if you really are honest, how many people out of the entire population in our society, in the United States, most people don't have friends. Yeah, sure. You may have thousands of people on Facebook following you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You could have, I don't know, thousands of people following you on Instagram or whatever platform you're on, where you feel like you have friends, people that listen to you and maybe are supporting you. But truly if you think about it, when stuff happens, who is there, that you can walk with, that you can have an actual meal with, that you can have supporting you when you're going through something rough .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they don't have to be right there with you in the room. Just a simple. Like you can reach them by telephone and you can hear their voice. who has that? And why is it? The last 20 years, think about all the popular movies and TV shows that people have turned to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And why is that? Years ago there was Sex and the City and it really wasn't about the sex. It was about living vicariously through this friendship that existed. They went to brunch on the weekends. They shopped together, they support each other with the ins and outs of different relationships that they were in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? They were there for each other. Like, let's takeBig Bang Theory as another example. They always ate dinner together. They went to work together. They helped each other out. They were involved in each other's lives. When Howard's mother passed away, they were all there. When someone went to the hospital, they were all there together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can we say that? It's a brutal truth that we have to face. Most of us unfortunately face it when we really need someone. And there's no one there, but I guarantee you. What I learned was there is someone there, there are. I'm not getting religious here, but it's like, there are angels everywhere. A friend will always be there for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You may not know them, but there is someone always there to help you. We are deeply interconnected. You're never really alone. Having said that though, we need to get back the art of friendship and remember how important it is to come together like that get off of the whole lie of social media and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So back to isolation, I have seen, and I've noticed this as a photographer because I went from country to country and would come back to the United States and I would notice, oh my God, look at how we as Americans treat each other. And it starts with the family. As soon as a child is born, boom, they get put into daycare. Someone reaches a certain age, boom. They get put into daycare or at home, right. We separate each other. When the kids are born, they go off to school. We come back and nowadays, like we don't even have meals together. Well, aside from the pandemic, because we were forced to, right, but like there's such an, a state of isolation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You could even be in the room and the isolation that has permeated everything that you could still be in a room together, but you're still not there. You're not fully present. I've seen this, you know, being lucky enough to become a mom. I would see it on the playground. I would see it everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like parents are not present. Their children are screaming for attention. And the parent is not aware. The child is like, look at me, look at me, look at me. You know what I mean? Not present and that isolation is fertile ground for gaslighting and yeah, you're right, Matt. Like Emily, Emily and I yesterday were like so excited and it was such a healing time for us to talk about all the ways that gaslighting exists in our society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that we kind of like muffled you because I feel like we did because we, it was all from our perspective. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I was, I was having my own internal conversations. For me, gaslighting is about what's your end game. That to me is more a case of really having a clear understanding if somebody is gaslighting or not.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause people fall prey to so many of the different things that happen inside because, you know, man is a social animal. We seek to manipulate our environment. And if our environment is other people we seek to manipulate it, it's a question of what are we, what's our end game. What are we really trying to do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are we trying to dominate people or are we trying to discover and have discourse with people? You know, people disagree. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just realized I'm talking too much and I really, I want to hear everything. You have to say, Matt and Emily, I want you to say everything you want to say. I'm just going to finish the definition of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then we're going to, we're going to roll. Okay. Promise </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> the low edit episode today. , but we didn't account for Fawn. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So here, I, I do have a gift for the gab, but here we go. I'll try to make a quick, I just want to get just, I want to get to the different states of gaslighting. So now we know where it comes from.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It really comes from this movie. The etymology of gaslighting play comes from I'm so sorry. Yes. The play comes from the play. And when I saw the movie, the first one I realized that,, it was showing us that through isolation, this man isolated his wife from all her friends and her family, they moved to London where she knew no one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he started to tell her that she was doing things that she was not doing. So he would move frames from the wall. They were having a nice time together dancing, and he was promising her dinner and going out to dance and everything. And then all of a sudden he would look at the wall and go, oh, and then the, the woman would say, oh no, no, no, please, no, I didn't do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I didn't do it. And he'd say, you did it again. You are stealing the art from the wall. You did it again. She was like, I didn't do it. I didn't do it. He had her believing that she was doing all these things. when in fact he was doing it and he was trying to drive her insane. He was stealing from her and it turns, I don't want to give this story away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's really a very dark thriller. And I don't want to give too much away, but through isolation he was able to achieve, almost achieve her, completely losing her mind. So this is what gaslighters do. They sew seeds of doubt in the minds of their victims using denial, lies, misdirection and misinformation in personal relationships or domestic settings, they will often belittle, the emotions and achievements of the person</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">they are gaslighting. As a result, the victim's self-esteem will often suffer and they will be less likely to trust their own judgment. Instead, victims will often turn to the perpetrators as a source of truth. Many gaslighters are skilled liars and are easily able to fool or manipulate not only their victim, but outside parties.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Power is often a factor, which is like, when we're talking about jobs that the job place like, God, how do you get away from that? So, anyway, power is often a factor in the relationship between gas lighters and their victims with the gas lighter, usually being in a greater position of authority. And existing power imbalance often means the victim is more likely to believe in the truth and importance of what the perpetrators says.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We find gas lighting in politics. It's everywhere. There's so much to talk about. And I also want to talk about motivation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">They're motivated to do this. Gaslighting is a way to control the moment, stop conflict, ease, anxiety, and feel in control. However it often deflects responsibility and tears down the other person. Some may gaslight their partners by denying events, including personal violence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, and it's also, it's a learned behavior. It's probably passed down from generation to generation, which is why it's often hard to spot some aspects of gaslighting or notice that maybe you are doing it because it's how, it's the only way you've seen the world. It's how you were raised.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And it, you know, since it is out in politics, I mean, especially in the United States right now, it's everywhere. I just want to point out that it's really hard to, to extricate oneself from a gaslighter power dynamic. And that's why we wanted to talk with coy. And when we do the other episode with Coy, we're just going to focus mainly on how do we deal with this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do we deal with it especially when we're in a position where we can't leave the job or you can't leave a certain family, even though they're all gas lighters, like how can you in a healthy way still live with this, if you're surrounded by it and you feel like you can't get out, Coy has the answers there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So tune in for that episode coming up soon. Those who gas light most often attain greater emotional awareness and self regulation. Those being gaslighted must learn that they don't need others to validate their reality and they need to gain self-reliance and confidence in defining their own reality. And again, my belief is, that's why it's so important more than ever before, for us to remember the art of friendship to have friends, because this is what's going to help us. I don't want to say deal with gaslighting. How, how do I say it guys? When we have friends, we're able to see the light, if you will, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And heal from </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:28]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> an outside perspective. Yeah. And it frees us because one of the key things that you can absolutely point to is isolation. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also your friend will say, you're not crazy. They're driving you crazy, which is what happened with me and yoga. Holly would say, she's crazy. They're trying to drive you crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> It's an interesting sort of, conundrum, because like, from what you just read, it's saying that they have to learn that they don't need others to define who they are. But I think the key to doing that and to breaking this isolation is to have enough points of connection with other people, with people in your life that enables you to discern the differences of those connections and which of those relationships</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">are building you up and which of those are negative. And then you can choose when you have multiple connection points, which of those are part of your self-definition and which of them you don't need. So it's not like you just stop relying on anybody else. It's more like you have enough points of connection to be able to choose the connections in your life that contribute to yourself definition in a positive way, instead of breaking it down until you don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Now I'm afraid that we're going to come up with solutions and I don't want to take away from our talk with coy. Can we talk about all the different ways that there's gaslighting, that we may not even be aware of? What do you have there in your notes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> again, what you'd need in my mind, what you need to focus on is what's the quote-unquote gas lighters end game.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's how you really effectively identify because unfortunately, or fortunately, a lot, all of the tactics of gaslighting can just occur. It's when there's a, they're actually trying to destroy yourself worth; like that is their goal. Or, they're trying to quote unquote drive you crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're trying to make you doubt the reality that you see. Again, you know, welcome to cults. Cults are excellent gas lighters, because they get you to accept their version of reality and they are your sole source of truth, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but saying cult Colt, Matt it's. So it is so, it's so extreme that it's, it's almost a disconnect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do you think are ways thatare cultish that we are so under a spell where we don't even realize that there, that the wool is being pulled over our eyes? Do you know what I mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Again, sole source of truth. Uh, somebody who would then, um, you only get praised for that. They'll praise you for things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes, absolutely. They'll actually build you up, but only when you do something that serves them, like they won't say, wow, that was an interesting opinion. It's about, you're doing something that they would want you to do. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this is a work situation for sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:49]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Act act the way I want you to act. And you, you will be, oh my God, you want to be whatever </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> dot, dot, dot, right guys like Emily, we were talking about being a bad student, as opposed to being a good student.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, that's pretty much what happens there, right? You, if you act the way they want you to, if you behave the way they want you to, if you think the way they want you to, then you will succeed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, you'll get a, you'll get an a yeah, absolutely. But are you being gas lit? Was I gas lit by Mrs. Hershey in 4th grade?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, I wasn't, but she wanted me to, you know, I got an a, if I did things, the way I was supposed to do her end game was for me to be smarter. It wasn't to tear me down. It wasn't to make me a robot. It wasn't to ...It's end game.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you know what? She was a good teacher. I've had many, many teachers who consistently told me that I was not smart enough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was not good enough that I was lazy. It's kind of like being told I'm crazy. Right? Well, I'm studying and I'm studying and I, and I want to learn and no matter what, I get knocked down with a D D minus and then on top of it, I have the teacher saying you're lazy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. I remember, I remember my, uh, algebra two trig teacher, Mr. Joint</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Son of a.... But anyways, we had to do, we had to take copious notes and I took my notes, but they weren't in color. So he'd always give me X grade. And then when he's like, well, why don't you do them in color? So I did them in color and I got the exact same grade. At that point I said, we're done, I'm going to do what I do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you're going to give me the grade you're going to give me. And we're just going to kind of just ignore each other. And if you want to get into it with me, we can get into it. But there's no point. I'm done because I know I'm not going to satisfy you. And that had a lot to do with how flipping angry I was in, in high school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had this just like fire coming off of me the whole time that, um, you know, screw you, if you weren't going to do right by me. I had such that scent. And was that a heightened sense of self-worth or was that just me being an a-hole? I don't know, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was you having the self-awareness to a point where you're not going to take it, but Emily, what were you going to say?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Well, I just think it's a really interesting, sort of component that Matt is bringing up of identifying their motivation. And I think the difficulty of that, right, is that, how do you identify that when you're information gathering perception is what has been put into question in your own mind?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think part of it is like most diagnoses processes, like whether it's depression or ADHD or physiological illness, The most successful diagnoses processes are about looking at the full symptom list and identifying how many of those are being employed or happening simultaneously and the frequency.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. So a diagnosis of depression, it isn't like, do you feel tired sometimes? Do you feel sad sometimes? Do you eat too much or too little sometimes, can you not sleep every now and then. It's are all of these things happening and are they happening more or less all the time for you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And only by looking at all of the symptoms together and the whole picture, can you start to understand what you're saying, like the motivation, the end game, like the result of that, right? Because lots of people say "oh, I'm depressed" when they're sad for a week. But that's not depression. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I think gaslighting undergoes the same abuse, like, "oh, I don't agree with you. You're gaslighting me" right? No, it's an extended it's about duration, frequency and a cohesive list of aggressive behaviors. It's not, if you lied about somebody or one time or call them crazy one time, are you in a daily relationship with a person where you daily do a, you know, nine out of 10 things on the gas lighting list, or rather if you're the gaslightee. Are you experiencing nine of these behaviors from one person on a consistent basis. That's where you can start to understand, because I think it's hard to whole picture think like, by the time I was in my darkest depression, like I was not self-awareness, it was like not on the table for me. Like it was just survival, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Survival. And being able to hear my husband, the one person trying to help me and just trusting him to get me to therapy and the psychologist and to the people who could enable me to take my next right step. And it's funny, like frozen two came out during that time and likeAnna's whole like next right thing song where it's like, you know, just take a step step again, do the next right thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's spoke to me. And so I think if you're in a gaslighting situation, just starting with observation, you know, don't even try to jump to the judgment of like what the motivation or the end game is. Start by observing. Like these are the things that indicate it. Like, do they happen to you? How often is it always the same person?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">These are the questions that you can ask yourself because any action has to start with observation and awareness. Just the awareness, you know, start there. Just start there. Don't even worry about the step after that. Take your first step.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. I guess I'm focused on, am I the gaslightee and you're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but it's the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> same process. You know, my therapist gave me a list of abuser identifications that she gives to abusers when she's beginning to work with them and they ask themselves those questions. So, yes, I think like, if you're worried about yourself, you can apply the same process from the other side.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Like, do I do like of these 10 things? Did I do them all this week? And were they to the same person? if the answer is like you did two of them in two different situations, like, do you want to do some self work? Go ahead. If you want, are you, uh, evil gaslighting, narcissist? Not likely, you know, I mean, I think you can apply it both ways, like, and in most like, yeah, I wasn't an asshole yesterday.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, sorry. Yesterday I was an apple </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yesterday. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> like to my husband for a fit, a 10 minute argument we had like, but am I consistently doing this list of 10 gaslighting things Fawn, that you just educated us on? Like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">no, no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I'm so glad you're saying this, Emily. I love you so much because not only is it important in speaking about gaslighting, but about racism. First of all, the gas lighter is never going to be questioning themselves a narcissist doesn't have the capacity to sit down and go, let me reflect on this and how am I treating? You know what I mean? They're not even going to do that. So if you're feeling guilty, Just relax and listen to everything. Replay what Emily just said. And as you were saying this, Emily, it just, it made me realize like, this is what the therapist said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I'm gonna read a little paragraph about what the therapist said about exactly what you just said. All right. So gaslighting is different from genuine relationship disagreement, which is both common and important in relationships. Now, gaslighting is distinct in that one partner is consistently listening and considering the other partner's perspective, one partner is consistently negating the other's perception, insisting that they are wrong or telling them that their emotional reaction is irrational or dysfunctional. Over time, the listening partner may exhibit symptoms often associated with anxiety disorders, depression, or self-esteem as opposed to these conditions. Gaslighting requires a second party, actively manipulating the perceptions of the other. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> so not manipulating the person like manipulating, like their perceptions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think that's different. Cause Matt, when you referred to manipulating people, like we try to like persuade them to our way of seeing things you're talking about, like manipulation, uh, you know, of like, I think a different quality and that's where you bring in the end game, you know, whereas if you're manipulating their perceptions, you're actually undermining their ability to be manipulated, like in a persuasive sense. Like, if that makes sense. I don't know if that makes sense, but I felt like what Fawn just read was a good articulation of; well, and of course it comes from therapist. So why wouldn't it be?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, not that they're all winners, but, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">um, that's a whole nother episode. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Totally. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Y'all already did it. No, we haven't. We haven't. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But yeah, I think that's a key factor. Like manipulating their perceptions, like that is know what's true when you don't know, like what's real, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right. Because it's not concrete. It's not, it's not, you know, it's emotional.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know, what is it like you can't, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> it's like the, if we're going to politics, it's almost like the misinformation dissemination saying, right? Like people are doing their best to intake all the information and make sound decisions, feel like they have collected accurate observations, perceptions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But if what you're putting out is not true to begin with, how can you expect people to operate like functionally in a place of truth? that's why I think they call it political gaslighting, right? Like you are manipulating the perception. Like you're not trying to persuade people to one side or the other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You are not allowing them to receive, to accurately perceive what is going on and thereby like you're manipulating their fundamental operation as a human being. </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, no, absolutely. The, you know, fun, fun lie. There are lizard people on the moon prove there aren't, you know, it's one of these, like, I can throw out the most outrageous quote unquote fact, but how can you even determine whether or not it's true, particularly if I tell you, oh, but there's a big conspiracy and nobody wants you to know this information and I have it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am your sole source of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">truth, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> so, right. Totally like you combine that with layer upon layer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You guys, did you guys see it, but, uh, gaslighting and politics. so I put in the notes, the 2008 book called "State of Confusion, Political Manipulation, and the Assault on the American Mind.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, it's just, it's interesting. There's so many things to read out there so you can understand, or like at least see all the different forms control is being had, Like, uh, and how it can come through modern communications, marketing, advertising techniques, you know, propaganda it's it's everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I just think, as I keep saying over and over again, the more we are together in a true form of friendship, the less likely it is that someone will have power over us because we're more powerful together. We're more powerful. I'm more powerful when I talk to Emily. Right. I'm more powerful when I'm having good conversations with Matt, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. No question. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Most powerful when all three of us are having an active dialogue. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And then there are other things that kick it up, another notch and another, and another </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> notch, but talking is the most beautiful thing. And like the other thing we say is breaking bread together, eating together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">it's really important and it also feels good. It's like the, the fundamental, the basic, like eating and breathing and drinking water. It is the most basic, that is the most important.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Coming together and having someone to share life with, someone that is your witness in life, you know, I love marriage for that because you're my witness in life, Matt. Right. I mean, if we're communicating, there are, there are times where you just don't see what I see. Like when someone's being a total racist jerk to me out of the room, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or you're standing right there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just not paying attention. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, you are paying attention, but you don't have the ability or the sense that I do. My hyper aggressive, heightened sense of smelling racism. It can come in in a split. Second of, uh, look I get from someone's eyes and I'll turn to you and I'll say, did you see. But you weren't aware of it because your, your, your senses are different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You have a different perspective. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> almost like the idea, like, you know, if like we have these really strong associations with like a certain smell or certain sound, right? Like when you link an experience with a physiological, um, like trigger like that, then it's like a more lasting association.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So Fawn, your life experiences have just tuned you in to certain turn of phrase is body language, eye contact. Like, you're just, you've have so many repeated exposures and associations with those manifestations and the things that statistically come next, that your, when you see them happen, you expect the pairing then your attuned to it because it's building on that. Whereas Matt or I may not have experienced those were just tuned to different, small gestures and things, right? Because like you associate the smell of peppermint with that with, with whatever comes next. And Matt associates, peppermint with whatever Matt's life experience builds and I associate peppermint.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And it just, I don't know if that's really good analogy, like you just notice that smell differently. And when you notice that smell, you might go on red alert. And when I noticed that smell and I might associate it with like, you know, pleasant memories, like it just, it's not the same for everyone </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is a perfect analogy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's why it's so important to have our relationships the way we do, you know, to be friends, even if you're you're my marriage partner, we still have to be friends. We still have to communicate because yeah, it is it's, it's like a frequency it's like tuning into a different radio station. My radio station is 95.6 yours is, 97 something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? Whatever it is. Right, exactly. Heavy metal for Matt. And, and so the thing is that, we're all operating at different frequencies, but as friends to come together, it's important to have different radio stations. And it's important to communicate. This is what my frequency is. Is feeling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is what your frequency is feeling, and you don't have to be tuned into my particular station, my particular frequency, my particular radio station. But now, you know what, because I've told you because I've, I've shared my life story with you now, you know my frequency, right? Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And now you're able to be multifaceted within your own station within your own radio station within your own way of experiencing life. But you also now have mine and I have yours because I'm listening to you and I'm listening to you, Emily. And the more we come together and the more we're so sensitive, not sensitive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's a, now that's a charged word these days to say sensitive, but you're aware you're, you're lovingly understanding and aware of this different frequency. Even if you don't come from it. And that is what creates a powerful situation in a good way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> Well, now I really value the way that I think just there's a real, acknowledgement of the power of the way that phrasing and approaching a thought can shift your mindset.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when we were referring to like racism right earlier Fawn, and, uh, Matt and I are two white people who are having to have that like classroom guilt, existential crisis moment. I have been reading as many, have the materials being written on changing the question from, am I racist to, what am I doing to be anti-racist right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, what am I, what actions am I taking to actively be? Anti-racist because when you ask somebody, are you a racist? That's like a targeted manipulating question that automatically puts them in a position of defense. Like, are you a bad person? Like, am I duck like, oh, </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And just start shifting that to what are you actively doing? What actions can you actively take to be anti-racist is a, is a process that we can apply to so many facets of our life. Like, what am I doing to advocate for others? What am I doing to form these high quality, real friendships?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What am I doing? You know, it's like the equivalent of what people are doing right now to do vision boards, your, putting your focus on the thing, the actions, the learnings, the work you can do to manifest positive results or improved results, to try and make the world a better place. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just think that I did this like new years Soultice writers exercise recently where you write down your successes of the year to start, then you write down like surprises, things you didn't know were going to happen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Then you write down your failures or wherever you fell short, what things you goals you had, you didn't achieve. And then the next step is you write your worst fear, biggest judgements about those failures. And it was small, right? So it was like, uh, if your goal was to like publish a book and you didn't do it, then your, uh, you failed to do it, then your judgment might be like, I'm a terrible writer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm a terrible person. Like I'm never going to succeed at this. Right? Like that back of your mind, worst fear. And you write it down because then you can look at it. And your next step is to say what your heart knows to be true about that. Right? So your heart may know that the truth is that publishing a book is like a very difficult long-term goal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you did take these steps toward becoming a better writer toward like connecting with people in the industry. But it just may be a process that takes more time than you thought or hoped it would. And then out of that truth, you can develop learnings and actions and things that you can do and work on to take your next steps toward circling back and achieving that goal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I just think that process of healthy examination of asking your worst fears about yourself, and then addressing and like, no, like I know my heart knows these things to be true about myself and knowing that, here's what I can do to even be better in that area. Like that process is uncomfortable, difficult if you're doing it honestly with yourself, but so valuable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you really can walk out with a sense of optimism, hope, of refocusing, and you can do that with your friendships too. Like, you know, I hoped this friendship would be this, like this year. I really failed as a friend that makes me a terrible person. It makes me that asshole friend. I'm like, no, my heart knows like my mental health wasn't great</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">this year, the pandemic was going on. It seems a really difficult. And going forward though, knowing all of those things, like I am going to make the effort to reach out to this person and remind them that I'm there and have this friendship moved back toward where I want it to be. I mean, it's, it's so valuable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's hard, but if the person or the attribute about yourself or the goal is worth it, you do the hard work and you take the next right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">step. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:18:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. And it's, it's really not hard because it's coming from your heart. It's coming from a place of being genuine. Can I, do you mind if I end it here because what Emily, everything Emily said is a beautiful summit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a beautiful place to go back and rehear what you just said, Emily. It is perfection. And I want to close the show. Next </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:19:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> episode Coy can tell us </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:19:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> how Coy, how, yeah. Coy will be on, we're going to record another day with Coy and she will explain to us her perspective on how to actually live with this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And without saying you're a racist, you're a gaslighter you're gaslighting me and in a very loving human way, not just deal with the situation, but , make the world better. Before we close the show off today, can I just comment on not only how much I enjoyed both of your perspectives. Thank you and Matt, thank you for being so gracious and loving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, I, I, I know listening to this kind of a topic and really trigger people and thinking that, oh my God, that means I'm a bad person. Or that means I'm racist. And that means I'm a gas lighter. And, and I, I'm just not fit to be living here. You know? Like it's horrible. We, we, you know, those are, but yeah, it's terrible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so one of the things that you started off talking about Emily is what am I doing to be anti-racist and I've, and I've heard that too, the past couple of years, like, you know, especially white people. And I feel like that term right there is getting us into trouble. And if I may be bold enough to suggest another way, instead of saying,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">what am I doing to be anti-racist? Because in a way it's like still bringing the negative on, by even saying those words, can we switch it to, what am I doing to be LOVING, Period. And then to close off this show, I want you all to remember. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend. The world is a small town and everyone is your friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now not every friend is a good friend and so much like the line vector that Emily sent the hand with a poop emoji, which is actually soap. Just realize that every friend is good for you. And there are, I mean, definitely from our perspectives here today, you need to get away from these people </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:21:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> and anything that sparkles is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:21:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not soap.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. You're not meant to be friends with everybody. And there are people out there that if they heard this podcast would probably want to call me out and say, she doesn't know how to be a friend. She's no friend. Why? Because I got away from these people for a good reason. And instead of fighting with them and getting dirty along with them and fighting with them, I just disappear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am done I'm out. I will not engage I'm out. It could be someone I was friends with. It could be a family member. If it's not going to change. If the person keeps redoing everything without learning, without changing, you got to go. You have things to do. So the world is a small town and everyone is your friend, but you're not to be friends with everyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just take it easy on yourself and go with love. What is it I'm doing to be loving now? Not everyone will be loving back to you, but that's when you keep walking and you walk with your friends, with your true friends, Emily. I believe loves exactly. We are each other's loves. We are family. It does not have to be by being birthed into a family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Physically. We are each other's families in and out of time. It has nothing to do with biology though, with the physical. I don't know how to describe it, but you all know what I'm talking about. Usually people say, yeah, and it's, it's like original, like spiritual birth family. Like we have known each other in and out of time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not by the egg and the sperm creating you. It is more than that. So that the egg and the sperm. So everyone thank you for listening again, thank you for listening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please reach out to Emily, reach out to us. You can reach both Emily and Fawn and Matt by going to our friendly world podcast.com all of Emily's information and contact information and her, her links are there. And also you'll see a link for us. If you would like to buy us a cup of coffee to help support our show, that would be lovely and amazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And also what I would like to request is if you could go to our friendly world podcast.com and press contact us, and ask for a zoom meeting with us, I want to hang out with you. We would like to start a group where we all get together on zoom because we're all around the world. Thank you everyone for listening to us, all the countries around the world that are our family, our friends. Thank you so much. I want to see your faces. We want to talk to you. We want to have conversation. We want to bring you on our show. Please contact us by going to our friendly world podcast.com and yes, a cup of coffee would be great, guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We love you so much. Thank you for listening. We'll talk to you in just a few days or sooner than that. Just reach out to us. Okay, Emily. Thank you. Thank you, Matt. Love our Emily! Oh, love. Love you guys. Talk to you soon. Be well bye-bye bye.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So, have you ever heard of the book, Dale Carnegie's book how to win friends and influence people? It's been used by millions of people to get close, to make friends and all the rest of it. And it was used by Charlie Manson to manipulate his family.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Charles Manson? Yes. Why do you say Charlie? Like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">he's a good guy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because that's one of the ways he has been addressed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But anyways, um, yes, yes. The basically the root of evil took that, those exact same lessons, spun them on their head and used them to manipulate his quote unquote family. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Holy crap.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So that's why, that's why in my head, it's about end game. It's about why are you doing this? What are you doing? What is, what is the ultimate result you would like to see from this?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It either comes from love or it comes from fear and all the other negative things. If it comes from love, go. But if it doesn't and in that case, it definitely didn't. Don't do it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> guys. I'm scared, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but that's just, it that's, that's the point is that, any particular tool, any particular, you know, anything can be used for the greater good or not.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Emily:</strong></span> If you're asking yourself, if you might be the next Charlie Manson. I'm just kidding.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. No, no, go with love everybody. What am I doing to be loving? Love. Okay. Bye. Love.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This episode came about as our friend Emily was "Goodwill Hunting" and our conversation that began on Gaslighting in America. We laugh and we get scared and we ultimately feel empowered to live a good life, one in which we support each other and are mentally, physically, and socially healthy and good and we laugh again.
Join this conversation about gaslighting, existential guilt crisis, how to deal with gaslighting at work and with friends and family, and also poop emojis.
You will LOVE your new friend Emily Powell Gilliam!
Emily Powell Gilliam is a designer of play objects and founder of Why & Wiser, creating artful games and gifts for clever kiddos and their grownups. To reach Emily:http://www.epgdesign.co/
http://www.whyandwiser.com/
https://www.instagram.com/epgdesignco/
 
 
 
 
 
Transcript 
[00:00:00] Emily: I had lots of ways of dealing with her. And for four years that was enough. And then, you know, I S I just like, it wore me down and my own, like physical, well, mental first health, and then physical health, just like, you know, went over a cliff, like, and told that if I wanted to be considered for promotion, I needed to work on being softer, use shorter words, be less aggressive. And that I intimidated the owner basically like be more female. 
[00:00:47] Matt: See that that's weird because , when you were describing it, I was like, oh my God, where are you coming across as, too passive?
And that's why they didn't consider you for a manager because they didn't see you as a manager type, but they just saw you as a rabble rouser, and a troublemaker, but then why not just, can you, I mean, it's, it's a weird thing. 
[00:01:04] Emily: Well, if they 
canned me, they would have to pay unemployement. and my twin, is far less straightforward as a person because I'm not, 
[00:01:14] Matt: you're not a shrinking violet.
[00:01:16] Emily: I'm 
not even a violet, I'm like a thistle
 My husband was like, you can't, you can't stay there.
 And then my therapist was like, you're literally doing physical damage to your body from the extended, stress of dealing with this 
[00:01:35] Fawn: This is why it's important to have friends. Yes, because Emily, I never would have suspected that an...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Resized-IMG-6407.jpeg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:27:52</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendly Steps Towards a Friendly Society - Wings of Desire]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/friendly-steps-towards-a-friendly-society-wings-of-desire</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendly-steps-towards-a-friendly-society-wings-of-desire</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Here is a quick episode of another fun technique to make the world better!</p>
<p>Contact us! Let's talk! We want to talk! https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/ <br />Also, COFFEE for Fawn and Matt???  https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT _ Friendly Steps 2 Wings of Desire </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. Hello. Again, welcome to our friendly world, everybody. So you know how we're now doing little sprinkles here and there of baby steps I just wanted to add something new to our show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Sprinkled in between the long shows, I want to do these baby steps I'm calling them friendly steps. I may change the name. If you have something better, let me know. But if you put them all together, we're going to take baby steps together. And if you put them all together, I believe this is my version.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now I'm not a big PhD person. These are all my own thoughts as a photographer when I've had time alone, when I've been noticing throughout my life, things that happen. People's behaviors. I'm not affected by the Brenee Browns out there, which I respect, but these are all my thoughts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I want to introduce you to all the ways I think we can create a utopian type of society; one, where it's truly a friendly world and things that I tried, things that I have, that I would tell you about that we would call nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica, from my mentor, from. From the friends in the neighborhood. These are all the lessons.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So now what I want to do is do the steps, friendly steps. They're like little baby steps and don't worry. They're all fun. They're all meant to give you a spark of joy, inspired by a divine spark in you and the universe. There's no way that you can miss a step. It's just fun, little things to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't have to do any of them in order. They're just little sparks of inspiration that will give you a chuckle and hopefully make other people feel good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So today's baby step today's friendly step is this. The first part of it is I want you to, do something, That I think came out of the 1980s. I don't remember.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's one of my favorite movies. I haven't watched it in a very long time. I've talked about it on the show before it's called "Wings of Desire". It takes place in Berlin. When the Berlin wall was up. It's a beautifully done movie. It's very artistic. It is just deep and beautiful. It has Colombo in it. For those of you who know Peter Falk. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't have to watch the whole movie, just like even just watching the first part of the movie is enough to give you the inspiration for this baby step, this friendly step that we're going to do together. "Wings of Desire" is about these angels. And as the movie opens up, these angels have certain spots, they hang out in. A lot of them, hang out in the libraries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A lot of them hang out on top of buildings with gargoils and they're watching people. These angels will focus on one person. And follow that person. They could hear the person's thoughts. And as they're...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Here is a quick episode of another fun technique to make the world better!
Contact us! Let's talk! We want to talk! https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/ Also, COFFEE for Fawn and Matt???  https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
TRANSCRIPT _ Friendly Steps 2 Wings of Desire 
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello. Hello. Again, welcome to our friendly world, everybody. So you know how we're now doing little sprinkles here and there of baby steps I just wanted to add something new to our show.
 Sprinkled in between the long shows, I want to do these baby steps I'm calling them friendly steps. I may change the name. If you have something better, let me know. But if you put them all together, we're going to take baby steps together. And if you put them all together, I believe this is my version.
Now I'm not a big PhD person. These are all my own thoughts as a photographer when I've had time alone, when I've been noticing throughout my life, things that happen. People's behaviors. I'm not affected by the Brenee Browns out there, which I respect, but these are all my thoughts.
And so I want to introduce you to all the ways I think we can create a utopian type of society; one, where it's truly a friendly world and things that I tried, things that I have, that I would tell you about that we would call nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica, from my mentor, from. From the friends in the neighborhood. These are all the lessons.
So now what I want to do is do the steps, friendly steps. They're like little baby steps and don't worry. They're all fun. They're all meant to give you a spark of joy, inspired by a divine spark in you and the universe. There's no way that you can miss a step. It's just fun, little things to do.
You don't have to do any of them in order. They're just little sparks of inspiration that will give you a chuckle and hopefully make other people feel good.
 So today's baby step today's friendly step is this. The first part of it is I want you to, do something, That I think came out of the 1980s. I don't remember.
It's one of my favorite movies. I haven't watched it in a very long time. I've talked about it on the show before it's called "Wings of Desire". It takes place in Berlin. When the Berlin wall was up. It's a beautifully done movie. It's very artistic. It is just deep and beautiful. It has Colombo in it. For those of you who know Peter Falk. 
You don't have to watch the whole movie, just like even just watching the first part of the movie is enough to give you the inspiration for this baby step, this friendly step that we're going to do together. "Wings of Desire" is about these angels. And as the movie opens up, these angels have certain spots, they hang out in. A lot of them, hang out in the libraries.
A lot of them hang out on top of buildings with gargoils and they're watching people. These angels will focus on one person. And follow that person. They could hear the person's thoughts. And as they're...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendly Steps Towards a Friendly Society - Wings of Desire]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Here is a quick episode of another fun technique to make the world better!</p>
<p>Contact us! Let's talk! We want to talk! https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/ <br />Also, COFFEE for Fawn and Matt???  https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT _ Friendly Steps 2 Wings of Desire </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. Hello. Again, welcome to our friendly world, everybody. So you know how we're now doing little sprinkles here and there of baby steps I just wanted to add something new to our show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Sprinkled in between the long shows, I want to do these baby steps I'm calling them friendly steps. I may change the name. If you have something better, let me know. But if you put them all together, we're going to take baby steps together. And if you put them all together, I believe this is my version.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now I'm not a big PhD person. These are all my own thoughts as a photographer when I've had time alone, when I've been noticing throughout my life, things that happen. People's behaviors. I'm not affected by the Brenee Browns out there, which I respect, but these are all my thoughts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I want to introduce you to all the ways I think we can create a utopian type of society; one, where it's truly a friendly world and things that I tried, things that I have, that I would tell you about that we would call nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica, from my mentor, from. From the friends in the neighborhood. These are all the lessons.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So now what I want to do is do the steps, friendly steps. They're like little baby steps and don't worry. They're all fun. They're all meant to give you a spark of joy, inspired by a divine spark in you and the universe. There's no way that you can miss a step. It's just fun, little things to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't have to do any of them in order. They're just little sparks of inspiration that will give you a chuckle and hopefully make other people feel good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So today's baby step today's friendly step is this. The first part of it is I want you to, do something, That I think came out of the 1980s. I don't remember.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's one of my favorite movies. I haven't watched it in a very long time. I've talked about it on the show before it's called "Wings of Desire". It takes place in Berlin. When the Berlin wall was up. It's a beautifully done movie. It's very artistic. It is just deep and beautiful. It has Colombo in it. For those of you who know Peter Falk. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't have to watch the whole movie, just like even just watching the first part of the movie is enough to give you the inspiration for this baby step, this friendly step that we're going to do together. "Wings of Desire" is about these angels. And as the movie opens up, these angels have certain spots, they hang out in. A lot of them, hang out in the libraries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A lot of them hang out on top of buildings with gargoils and they're watching people. These angels will focus on one person. And follow that person. They could hear the person's thoughts. And as they're watching and putting their focus on this person, everything becomes clear to the angel. Like what's troubling this person, what this person is going through, what does this person need?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And once that becomes clear, the angel puts his or her hand on the person's shoulder. Like magic, their thoughts begins to transform. They transform. Their emotions transform and they feel light again. You can see it in their physique. You see how all of a sudden their expression changes and there's a lightness about them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then it's clear. It's done. And then the angel sees the person walks away much happier and much better off. This is what the angels do in this movie. And so we're going to try that. Okay. Um, this, this is. Matt is looking at me weird. So we're </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> going to be following people around their thoughts and then touching them on the shoulder.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't think that's going to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> quite </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, stop it. Let me explain. So this is one of my favorite things to do as a photographer, because what you're going to do is, so here's the friendly step. I want you to pick someone. Again, it could be a stranger, but I want you to be one of these angels.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want you to pretend you're watching a movie. So you're not attached to this person. All right. You're not emotionally, physically, or you're not attached to this person. You're watching a movie, but don't watch a movie like how Matt watches a movie. Oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, thanks for that,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> babe. It's so hard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like ever since we've been together. I'm like, I love you so much watching a movie with you, I have to put all my shields up because you want to analyze everything and figure things out. I don't care. I'm just watching it. I'm going with the flow and you want to figure it out. You want to figure out the ending.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You want to figure out all the things that are happening, that you're not seeing on the screen. Whereas I just want to sit back and just watch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm just exhausting at all times. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're not exhausting, but you're taking me, but you're taking me out of the moment. I just want to be on a ride and have the director or the writer, all the people that created the movie;</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm willing for them to just take me on a joy ride. It's so funny. See, you're not in the moment with movies, but I'm not in the moment when in life, like I'm always trying to figure stuff like, man, what's going to happen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do you think? Come on, put up your psychic feelers and let me know what the future is. And you're like, no, just be in the moment. But then when we watch movies, it's the opposite. Anyway, I digress. What I'm trying to say is when you're looking at people, Try to watch like a movie without figuring things out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's a way to offer detachment in a good way where you're not invested. You're just watching and that's when the magic happens. So I want you to pretend you're one of these angels that watches and listens. You're going to pick one person and you're doing this in the midst of noise.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like other things could be happening. You can do this anywhere, by the way. You have to be silent, and at first unseen. Don't let the person know this is happening. But guaranteed, they will feel you. It will be, felt; like the movie, the people could feel a transformation. They don't know who it is or where it's coming from, or if it's coming from anything, it's just a, it's just a, they feel a transformation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Place you're open-minded un trying to figure things out, deal on this person. So don't try to figure anything out. Don't try to analyze them. Don't try to fix anything. Just put all your focused attention in a loving way. And like in a grand loving way, imagine them being fully embraced by a caring being, it could be you, but if you don't have a capacity for it to be you, imagine them enveloped by a huge giant angel or something, you know, pick, pick a symbol that feels good to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's neutral, but that's bigger than life. Something that is greater than us. Okay. And hold that place that on them and see what happens. That's the friendly step today. We can do it any day. You can do it anytime. Place loving energy or a loving blanket on them. Energetically, purely energetic. And by the way, Matt, this is what you do at work all the time. I've seen you for years now. You do this. Now. I have described it in my way, and then I've described it using "Wings of Desire," you know, and I'm talking about angels and everything, but you seriously, I've seen you do this at work with people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You will focus your attention. You will place like a beautiful, a cloak of love on this person, whoever you think needs something or needs anything. You do that for people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you denying it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm not denying it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you want to describe it in your own words before we go? Cause I know mine is very ethereal and you know, do it your, your style. How would you say this friendly step is?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So, in a work environment we're communicating, so we lose this sense of just sending them good vibes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when I can sense that somebody might be feeling a little off, then I will just send them a quick blurb with a little emoticon on it, or I will post a comedic, uh, image out either to them or to a group I know that they're in, especially if I feel like there might be tension between me and them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just a diffuse and to, to almost proactively diffuse, like they might be, you know, it's about staying ahead of it and making sure that the people around, you know, that you know, that they're important to you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I've also seen you do this without any written emojis or anything written. I've seen you take people under your wing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Until they can fly on their own. I've seen you do that. And it's not just with work. I've seen you do it at work. By me saying it's not just work. I mean, it's about a human being. It's not about just a coder learning to code a certain way at work or getting a task done.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a total human connection that you make people understand how valued they are. You do it in such a, uh, incognito. You do it in such a quiet way. It's quite beautiful. And because I'm your wife and because I see you and I see, I hear you. And I I've seen it for years that you do that is it's quite remarkable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Another good reason why no one you work with. Knows that you have a podcast and we talk about all this stuff, the secret would be out. So that's it. The friendly step today, you're going to pretend that you're an angel. You're going to put your focused attention in a loving way on one person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're going to hold it. Even if it's, even if it's only for a minute, it has to be focused attention. It's done with love and that's it. Guaranteed the person will feel it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is true. We are connected, even if we can't put our finger on it or consciously understand it and just think about what a wonderful world it would be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If everyone did this, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it could be less than a minute. Right, man. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we've all experienced this Matt talks about this all the time. We all have this power when you're looking at someone from a top building from on top. Right. And you're looking at someone walking they'll turn around.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause they sent you looking at. But they can't see you. You can sense when someone's looking at you. Yes, absolutely. And in this fragmented world today that we're trying to fix right now to bring all the puzzles back together, all the pieces back together, and we are the pieces, this is what it is. We sense each other. To be seen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To have that loving light placed on one another. Even if it's for 15 seconds, it makes a big difference. And this is what our show is all about. This is our way of creating a utopian society, a friendly world. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We're not here to say, Hey, this is the way to do it. 1, 2, 3, 4. This is how you make a friend. Our society has come to a place where the art of friendship has been lost, but it's not gone. It's in us. We have to remember, and it starts with conversation. That's why we're doing the podcast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's about creating conversation, at our kitchen table. You are our friends, you are family. We're here to talk about life and that's what friends do. That's what friendship is. We're here to share our experiences, our thoughts. We're here to share the happenings and. And help each other through. It could be something that we can't figure out at the moment, but the mere fact that we're talking about it is a huge deal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It could be everything. It is everything to have a conversation. That's what brings us together. And it's not about talking and having the person believe exactly what you believe. It's just about communication. Matt and I are night and day. When people realize that we're married, they're like, what? How does that work out?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, you said that, oh my God, you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> said that know it's still, it sounds so hectic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, welcome to my world when you say it. Right. But it's true because when people see us, like, we're like the weirdest looking couple, probably. I don't know, but they're always shocked when. They realize I am your wife, you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the other way around. And then once they know your personality, they know mine. It's, it's another shocker. Like how did those two do it? Like what, how is that possible? Just night and day. Right. That is part of the art of friendship is the yin and yang. It's.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The simple connection. It's a simple privilege of being at a table together and hearing each other. That's what we're about. And that's what we're working on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We love you so much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">If you've enjoyed our shows, we would appreciate any support you can give.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you could leave a review, if you can donate a little bit or show; buy us, a little cup of coffee, you have no idea what that will do for us. Just so thrilling. So if you can support us in any way, a few pennies here and there, whatever a cup of coffee, that would be amazing. You can go to our website, our friendly world podcast.com.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's a little donate button. Anyway, thank you for supporting us by listening to us and my goodness. France oh my goodness. Thank you so much. all of our friends, thank you to our family around the world for listening. We love you so much. We'll talk to you in a few days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Be well, see you later.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/a81120f5-983f-4aeb-a2ff-056bff37d54d/Friendly-Step-Wings-of-Desire.mp3" length="14950090"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Here is a quick episode of another fun technique to make the world better!
Contact us! Let's talk! We want to talk! https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/ Also, COFFEE for Fawn and Matt???  https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
TRANSCRIPT _ Friendly Steps 2 Wings of Desire 
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello. Hello. Again, welcome to our friendly world, everybody. So you know how we're now doing little sprinkles here and there of baby steps I just wanted to add something new to our show.
 Sprinkled in between the long shows, I want to do these baby steps I'm calling them friendly steps. I may change the name. If you have something better, let me know. But if you put them all together, we're going to take baby steps together. And if you put them all together, I believe this is my version.
Now I'm not a big PhD person. These are all my own thoughts as a photographer when I've had time alone, when I've been noticing throughout my life, things that happen. People's behaviors. I'm not affected by the Brenee Browns out there, which I respect, but these are all my thoughts.
And so I want to introduce you to all the ways I think we can create a utopian type of society; one, where it's truly a friendly world and things that I tried, things that I have, that I would tell you about that we would call nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica, from my mentor, from. From the friends in the neighborhood. These are all the lessons.
So now what I want to do is do the steps, friendly steps. They're like little baby steps and don't worry. They're all fun. They're all meant to give you a spark of joy, inspired by a divine spark in you and the universe. There's no way that you can miss a step. It's just fun, little things to do.
You don't have to do any of them in order. They're just little sparks of inspiration that will give you a chuckle and hopefully make other people feel good.
 So today's baby step today's friendly step is this. The first part of it is I want you to, do something, That I think came out of the 1980s. I don't remember.
It's one of my favorite movies. I haven't watched it in a very long time. I've talked about it on the show before it's called "Wings of Desire". It takes place in Berlin. When the Berlin wall was up. It's a beautifully done movie. It's very artistic. It is just deep and beautiful. It has Colombo in it. For those of you who know Peter Falk. 
You don't have to watch the whole movie, just like even just watching the first part of the movie is enough to give you the inspiration for this baby step, this friendly step that we're going to do together. "Wings of Desire" is about these angels. And as the movie opens up, these angels have certain spots, they hang out in. A lot of them, hang out in the libraries.
A lot of them hang out on top of buildings with gargoils and they're watching people. These angels will focus on one person. And follow that person. They could hear the person's thoughts. And as they're...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:15:34</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Surrogate Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 31 Jan 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-surrogate-friend</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-surrogate-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What are we substituting in place of real friendship? How is this changing our society? Are we able to notice the spells that are cast in our lives and how they change our friendships? What are these spells? This is our conversation today.<br /><br />Your experience matters to us. Please contact us and talk to us...<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p><br />and perhaps donate a cup of coffee to support our show:</p>
<p><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace </a></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Surrogate Friend – TRANSCRIPT </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know if I ever showed you this, but there was a vegan cooking show done. Uh, very, I don't know. Is there such a thing as a goth heavy metal guy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that there was no goth </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">heavy metal, oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He was very underground, scary sounding. He sounded like a demond, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. But that's not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">goth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's like when you start getting. into like, I don't know, extreme death </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he was like that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or all the stuff I don't listen to. Cause folks, I love clean vocals makes me a bad person. Then that makes me a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">bad person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Did you show me that? Or did I find it on my own? Probably </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> found it. And this was in that point in time where vegans were completely weird and this certainly didn't help anybody make any kind of a case for it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But so he was singing with that, like demonic sound. And teaching you how to make vegan Pad Thai in his basement. It wasn't a basement. It was like this underground, like under in the catacombs. I don't know. It was very dark and mysterious and. Crazy soundness, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:05]</span> <span></span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What are we substituting in place of real friendship? How is this changing our society? Are we able to notice the spells that are cast in our lives and how they change our friendships? What are these spells? This is our conversation today.Your experience matters to us. Please contact us and talk to us...https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
and perhaps donate a cup of coffee to support our show:
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
 
The Surrogate Friend – TRANSCRIPT 
[00:00:00] Fawn: I don't know if I ever showed you this, but there was a vegan cooking show done. Uh, very, I don't know. Is there such a thing as a goth heavy metal guy, 
[00:00:10] Matt: that there was no goth 
heavy metal, oh dear. 
[00:00:13] Fawn: He was very underground, scary sounding. He sounded like a demond, 
[00:00:17] Matt: right. But that's not 
goth.
That's like when you start getting. into like, I don't know, extreme death 
or 
[00:00:23] Fawn: he was like that 
[00:00:24] Matt: or all the stuff I don't listen to. Cause folks, I love clean vocals makes me a bad person. Then that makes me a 
bad person. 
[00:00:31] Fawn: Did you show me that? Or did I find it on my own? Probably 
[00:00:34] Matt: found it. And this was in that point in time where vegans were completely weird and this certainly didn't help anybody make any kind of a case for it.
[00:00:42] Fawn: But so he was singing with that, like demonic sound. And teaching you how to make vegan Pad Thai in his basement. It wasn't a basement. It was like this underground, like under in the catacombs. I don't know. It was very dark and mysterious and. Crazy soundness, because 
[00:01:05] ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Surrogate Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What are we substituting in place of real friendship? How is this changing our society? Are we able to notice the spells that are cast in our lives and how they change our friendships? What are these spells? This is our conversation today.<br /><br />Your experience matters to us. Please contact us and talk to us...<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/</a></p>
<p><br />and perhaps donate a cup of coffee to support our show:</p>
<p><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace </a></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Surrogate Friend – TRANSCRIPT </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know if I ever showed you this, but there was a vegan cooking show done. Uh, very, I don't know. Is there such a thing as a goth heavy metal guy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that there was no goth </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">heavy metal, oh dear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He was very underground, scary sounding. He sounded like a demond, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. But that's not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">goth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's like when you start getting. into like, I don't know, extreme death </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he was like that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or all the stuff I don't listen to. Cause folks, I love clean vocals makes me a bad person. Then that makes me a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">bad person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Did you show me that? Or did I find it on my own? Probably </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> found it. And this was in that point in time where vegans were completely weird and this certainly didn't help anybody make any kind of a case for it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But so he was singing with that, like demonic sound. And teaching you how to make vegan Pad Thai in his basement. It wasn't a basement. It was like this underground, like under in the catacombs. I don't know. It was very dark and mysterious and. Crazy soundness, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that was somehow or another going to popularize veganism.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That was just his deal. Cause you know, you, normally you think of vegans as these crazy hippies that are all peace and love, or then you get the hippies that are, very, militant, like our friend Jingles from Santa Monica, or you get the ones that will throw red paint on you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, on the subject of media, I have a confession, not really a confession because you've been watching this, but I wanted to explain to you what's been going on with me in the past few years. Definitely since, 2016.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And even before that, I talk about this on our very first show. The fact that I was noticing a change in our society, I was noticing things, getting amped up a lot. Whether it from every aspect of life, things were getting really amped up. For example, there was a lot of racist stuff that was coming towards.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I never experienced to that degree before. And I dunno if it was because we lived in small towns and we kind of still do right now. Um, but this small town we're in, they think they're so, uh, what's the word for it? They think they're so not racist. They think they're so open-minded and educated and they're far from it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm talking about the. The yoga Bs anyway. What I've been noticing over the past few years, has been this thing with our society. And that's one of the reasons we're doing our friendly world is to bring about that conversation at our kitchen table, getting back to the art of friendship and reliving that, reeducating ourselves on what the art of friendship truly is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We're not here to say, this is how you make a friend. This is how you keep a friend. This is, this is how you, you know, we are saying that, but just in the midst of having normal conversations that friends do, even though we're married you and I, we have friends on the show, but even though we're married, we're still friends where it's, we're talking about things that friends would talk about, like the absurdities of life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we're trying to figure things out. We are trying to say, did you notice that. Or what's going on with this, let's figure this out, or I feel this way right now, and you may not agree. We may fight, you know, which normally is what happens. All these things that I've been noticing, more and more so I've found that I decided to isolate myself from a lot of people, because I was tired of explaining it to people. Because we have moved from one teeny tiny town to another and trying to educate people on what it is that I'm picking up on or I'm feeling, or the way someone speaks to me, they may not know is incredibly racist or hurtful. And then they get all bent out of shape when you try to go through all these huge lengths to not not offend someone and not say, Hey, you are doing this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm saying, you know, have you noticed in our society, like, this is said, it's quite hurtful. And then they still get all bent out of shape and say, how dare you? You know, I'm very woke, you know, like, whatever. So I feel like especially since 2016, I've become quiet. I feel like I don't really have people to talk to about stuff, which is why I love our podcasts, because thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I feel so heard. This has been the best therapy because I do get to talk, even though we fight on the air, but what I've been doing and. I've had a surrogate friend all along and I've known from the very beginning that I choose this as my surrogate friend. And that's what our show is about today, the surrogate friend. Surrogate is a noun.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The definition is someone who takes the place of another person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you have a different definition.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I prefer definition number three, which has a substitute. It doesn't have to be a person. It can be a group. It can be a thing almost. Um, in computer programming, we talk about talking, keeping a rubber deck on your desk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when you run into a problem, explain it to your rubber duck and maybe things will make sense. So you're using that as a sounding board. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Taking the place of, well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes, absolutely. Still talking about the third thing is not necessarily a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> person. Well, for me it feels like a person </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> human connection is extremely important.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, so this is what's happened. And so I want to explain this without getting political, without saying what side of the fence I'm on, whatever. It doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is I've noticed this for decades with other people and why certain TV shows are so popular. A lot of TV shows that have friends as the main part of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It could be the title could be having nothing to do with the friends, but it's really about the relationship friends have. And I feel like over the decades, people have been using, watching these things as vicariously having a friendship by watching these shows. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because you don't have that in real life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We don't, don't get mad at me. There are the Martine's out there. Martine, my friend from France, Martine is she's a special entity. Everything that you want from having a great friendship that is inspiring to you, is my friend Martine. She lives every day to the fullest. She's not afraid. She laughs at danger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She laughs at fear. Very rarely has she have I seen her cry, which I'm not saying that's a good thing, but I'm just saying she just lives it up, man. She will live it up. Every day is a party. And I'm not talking like a superficial party either every day is a joyous celebration. She makes the best out of every situation and it's really quite inspiring.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So shout out to my friend, Martine. Um, so anyway, Martine Merbouti Banks, by the way. so here's, here's my confession. You. I'm actually afraid to say it. That's why I'm prolonging getting to the point. Okay. So since 2016, all the frustration and all the things that I've noticed over the last two decades, especially, things that I would come to you with Matt and say, Hey, I'm noticing this,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and you would say, no, it's really not like that. I think you're getting way too, emotional about it. So I feel like, oh my God, I have no one to talk to about this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">When things start happening out in society, things that you have felt throughout all these micro aggressions, all of a sudden it's out in the open and everyone else will, most other people can see it now. Cause it's like, now it's there it is. There it is for everyone to hear and see, and there's no mistaking it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so what I started to do was my surrogate friend would be certain TV shows because I've found myself knowingly and quite deliberately going and listening to someone who would have not totally my perspective, but would speak about what I'm feeling because there is no other person. I, I don't, it's not like I have a group of people around me where I can confess these feelings that I'm having, or I can say, Hey, this happened today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can we analyze this? Because it's really weighing on me. I can't figure it out. Can we please figure it out? I need analysis here on what just happened. And so I feel like this is why the media, the TV, social media, the news has become what it has become. I think it's because we don't have that tribe. We don't have that circle. We don't have that table to have these heart to heart emotional feelings about what's going on. That the news has turned into kind of like a surrogate friend, social media has turned into the surrogate friend. TV has been the surrogate friend for many people. Now, I would try to say this to people as we were coming up with our matchmaking service and, even the thoughts before the podcast started and people would get all bent out of shape and they would take it so personally, and they would get so offended by me just saying that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm not saying you are doing this, I'm saying, I've noticed this is what's happening. And I think this is why. Even the news has become the way it has. I remember listening to the news when I was little and it was so God awful boring because it was like the, the anchor, he, or she would be robotic, no expression.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The tone of voice would always remain the same even keeled way. And they would purely spout out facts only. No matter what language it was, the words that were chosen were very unemotional. It didn't have a side to it. Like you wouldn't say this person was in an earthquake, they would say.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This person experienced an earthquake. Do you see the difference? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Is it on purpose or is it just because of a zeitgeisty thing that anchors and newscasters have, try to basically just go along with. The emotion and most oftentimes, you know, we talk about this all the time when you're in a fight, emotion wins over logic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that's what's happening because people have nobody to talk to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They listen to a certain news show because they need someone else to tell them they're not crazy for feeling what they're feeling. So one side is saying this. And then the other side is saying the opposite because we're all having different points of views. Right. And we are so addicted to staying within that one feeling, because we're not heard for so many years that we don't want to hear anybody else because nobody else has listened to us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I think that's why there is such a divide right now. And that is why people don't want to listen to another side because they're still hungry to be heard. And I'm not saying this side is right or this side is right. I'm just saying on a very basic human level, there is hunger. And I think that that's what happens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's what has happened in that there's this surrogate friend now, and it may be good it may be bad but I think we're all under a spell now of whatever is said. These words cast a spell upon us. And I think that we're in trouble now. And I think that's why it's important to talk to one another aside away from these programs and have real conversations, which is what we're about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And that's of course the fun part, because I almost want like to describe a lot of friendships as being fair weather friends. And as soon as there's a challenging conversation (breaking sound) break up, because I think what we get out of the 24 hour news cycle is, we get kind of a non challenging, thoughts and beliefs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now I remember hearing that way, way, way back in the day, Walter Cronkite, who people look at as being the newscaster announced that the Vietnam war couldn't be won. Now, fact or opinion. That's where it gets weird. That was him with his deck of facts, making that claim. And I'm sure there were people in the U S government who felt the other way, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but his influence, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> he had, he had influence too though, which is an interesting thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I think that, with this advent of the CNNs, the Fox news' 24. You have to fill 24 hours. With quote-unquote news. And so you present it, you make it as non challenging to your audience as possible, as opposed to if I'm the anchorman on, uh, or woman on ABC news. I'm trying to attract everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If I'm CNN, I'm attracting this demographic. If I'm Fox news, I'm attracting that demographic. But if I. You know, ABC, um, trying to attract way more people, NBC, CBS, I'm trying to attract as many people as possible, as opposed to as many people who have these deep seated beliefs. And one of the things I think that we're seeing inside of people's arguments now, when they go to argue a fact is they generally start with, you know, and that's obviously.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's where they start. They don't actually start by taking an original thought and defending it. They just say it's obvious. And at this point in time, we've kind of let that slide. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, like I'm saying, we've let it slide because we just need a friend to talk to, to commiserate </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> with and a non challenging friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that is such a need right there to commiserate. Because we don't have that. We don't have our family and I'm talking about friends. Right. We don't have that. So it's, it's like they seized on that opportunity, that weakness. And it's not a weakness per se, but they it's like they sniff that out and that's what they're going with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they're shaping the whole world like that. And I, and I want to say, I mean, I don't know, like we haven't traveled in so long. I don't know. Is it like that in France too? Is it like that in South Africa? Is it like that? It, I mean, is it like that in Mexico is it like that. I mean, all of our friends out there is it like that where you are like, has it become a purely emotional thing, the news? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, stirring the emotional pot is certainly power; is powerful. And, you know, if I tune in ABC news and I'm like, oh, well, that's very interesting. But you know, it's really not at a convenient time. So I'd much rather watch an hour earlier an hour later, I guess I'll watch, you know, uh, NBC, because then they have their nationwide news and hour, whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm okay with that because I'm still getting similar information. But I'm not feeling that connection and I'm not feeling that emotional stuff because let's not forget, as a people, once upon a time, our people a hunted saber tooth tigers. And in order to do such a thing, you need a team, you need a group that's all bonded together for a single purpose.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it was kind of baked into our DNA. For self protection. So we really want these emotional connections and we really need these physical connections to others. Cause man, at it's heart is a social animal,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I feel like what's happened is they know that we are social animals so that they've created this, this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> situation. Right. And I think it started with if you buy this laundry powder, your clothes will be cleaner. That makes you smarter. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But there, the situation has been created. And now the spell that I'm talking about is causing us to just stay here because it's at the same time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's yeah, you're a social animal. So let me feed you. This I'll be the surrogate, but the thing is that you're still separate . You're under the illusion. You're under the spell that you have a community, but you don't, they're trying to sell toasters, but also beyond that, like, let's take, you know, we've forever from the beginning,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you and I have been so anti-social media. Like just recently I had to get on Facebook. And if you go on our Facebook for our friendly world, it's really Matt's account. I couldn't figure out how to do it. So I just switched my name to your name, but it's still your stuff. Some of your old friends that were, that you didn't have that many people following you, you had like six or nine?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know, but like, I think they were all confused. Like what? Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm sure they all </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> were because I started posting stuff </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for years and then all of a sudden, boom, our friendly world. Hey, how's it going </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right now? You know, I'm sure some of them are totally bent out of shape. I know there's one very conservative guy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Who's now like, oh, you know what I mean? Like, cause I'm the one talking, you know, this nonwhite woman talking about stuff. So what I was saying is they're keeping us separated. There's this illusion that we have this tribe, like with Facebook or Instagram or whatever you have. It just, it's, it's an illusion that you have family that you have people that care.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But really they're trying to sell toasters. They're trying to sell their vegan, this and vegan that, and their course, I'm trying to sell this course here. That it is so exhausting. Honestly, and then you have to keep posting to like, be viable, to be out there to be seen. It's it's honestly, it's my least favorite part of doing our show. I love our show. I love doing our show. Well, when it comes down to Sunday night, Monday, or Tuesday, where I have to post about it, I get so tired and like rushed and not joyful. I it's, it's really hard. And I can tell them, like, people are just so superficial, most people except for Wendy, Wendy, my sister.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my God. She is amazing. Yes. Okay. Wendy and others, Wendy and others. Yes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They're there. I'm just talking about my Instagram, our Instagram account. Okay. Cause not that many people know about it, so you know, very few people really comment on it. The people who comment are amazing, but it just feels like a chore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Honestly. Do you know what. To do that. Right. And that's not how it's supposed to be. When you have this gathering at the table, the table could be metaphoric. You have so much more energy. It should not suck your energy. Right. When you're amongst friends and you're sharing ideas and you're sharing your experiences and your thoughts, and you're trying to figure things out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is magnificent and the power is so big. I just feel like we're under that spell where we are remaining isolated, that we're not having real conversations in person and in person doesn't have to be face-to-face . This podcast I feel like is in person. I feel like. All of our friends that are listening to us, that, that write to us to talk to us,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that call us up about an idea we just talked about; that is amazing. That is a heart to heart connection. It is real. I just feel like all these programs are keeping us separate and keeping us at a vibration of hate and anger and it's controlling us and please hold that thought. Don't, don't forget.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm almost done. One other point I wanted to make wise what I wanted to say was, I think I am now done with my surrogate friend because now I feel like, okay, enough of commiseration. And now I'm seeing, oh my goodness. All along I've been seeing now I see what you've been doing all along. You've been guiding me to do what you want me to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So for example, I'm listening to the news and. Why is it the thing of utmost importance is the supply chain. I understand business is important, but really the most important thing right now is people's health. The most important thing now is what's going on with the climate, what is happening with, you know, there are people who need help that are in earthquakes and hurricanes and tornadoes, fires.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are so many things happening. Why is it the most important thing is getting presents, getting all the things you need to shop for that is like on the news that has become the most important thing to make sure you can buy and consume what you want, which leads us to this. Treat yourself society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Have you noticed that, like, I I've noticed that this surrogate friend has now been using me and I can see it, you know, I use them too. I needed someone to commiserate with, but I can see how they're trying to make me buy stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. Yeah. I think one of the keenest clearest measures that we should have with groups is how do you disagree? Do you disagree? If you, if you never disagree, how do you know that you're connected properly? Quote, unquote, properly. It's about how we disagree. It's about disagreeing respectfully as opposed to well you're just stupid or trolling or any of those other things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, and, you know, I know that there are communities I used to, yeah. I used to belong to a community where people would disagree respectfully and it was awesome. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What was that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Shout out to John St. Clair and the build your own arcade controls website. If you sign up there and then you ask for access into their politics board, which I haven't been to in a long time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I hope it's still the same. , then you have to you have to write a message to John St Claire and tell him, or St um, and tell him that you understand the rules of the board, which is basically don't be an a-hole. Okay. Then all of a sudden you get access to this politics board and people would disagree.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you know what? I have my mind changed there by what people had posted, because. We're a smorgasbord, we're a huge group of people and we're going to disagree. There are people who are so convinced they're right, because their grandparents blah-blah-blah, there's other people who are so convinced they're right, because they live in blah-blah-blah and these people are blah-blah-blah and there's other people who see the same people as being blah-blah-blah, which is completely different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's about how we disagree. And it's about disagreeing. If we don't disagree. If you never disagree, if you never get your mind changed or challenged by the things that you're witnessing, are you growing</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">' cause we need to grow. Everybody needs to grow. Something that I've been talking about lately has been, I wish everybody would use the same deck of facts. Left right center, green, pink, red doesn't matter. I wish they all used the same deck of facts. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can we really have the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> same </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> facts? Well, facts are facts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And now unfortunately there's an imminent number of them, but if we ignore some facts in favor of other facts,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">' cause that's what people do. You can ignore a whole stack of facts make your point.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was watching, oh my goodness. What was I watching? I was watching the boys from top gear and the old boys from top gear. They were talking about, oh yes. And this, that the other thing. And then, one guy got on another guy was like, yeah, but you were only able to get this many horsepower because you had racing fuel.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then the other guy bounced back with your car, always needs racing fuel. And the one guy said, oh, I was hoping you didn't know that because it deflated his arguement. Because facts are facts and that's just, it. You make the strongest argument. You can, but what's happened today is people ignore facts or they, they push them to the side.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or maybe in many cases, they don't know it, if they're getting all of their facts from one place, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's just what you choose to concentrate on. Okay. I'm going to take it. You're going to get mad at me right now, but bring it back to what you were saying. When you say facts, I always go to racial issues. So let's go back to the spice trade era, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The Dutch, the Dutch enslaved, the first they killed off. Most of the people on the islands where they grew nutmeg, all right, this is Indonesia. They killed about 75% of the people. And then the rest of the people that were left, they enslaved . But when you hear about the spice trade and you hear about, oh, the Dutch were great spice traders.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The fact is that they were killers, that they were enslavers. They enslaved people, they killed people and stole their property, nutmeg being one of them. But the fact is what they're spice traders, which fact do we concentrate on, do you know what I mean? Which, which fact are we going to look </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> at?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You look at all the facts. You look at as </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">many </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> facts, but the Dutch, but this company who is now trading these spices, the fact is their spice traders. My fact would be they're killers, right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But they're both true and you need to pay attention to both, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but one side will never. Concentrate on the other truth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's, and that's the point though, is, is both sides need to, like, I just recently found out a whole bunch of mine, a whole bunch. I really kind of messed up things. You ready? I'm ready. So I get emails because I have a very common email address. Uh, I get emails that are meant for me all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So how many thousands of Mathew Andersons are there in the world? Cause you've got Matthew Anderson's in the UK and the United States and Australia. Yes, probably South Africa. Yeah. I'm sorry. Go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> ahead. All over the place. There's a coach. I'll come to you anyways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I recently started recently, like past six months, I got emails from a company because there's a Matthew Anderson, who is an employee. It turns out, um, yeah, they were supporters of Nazis back the day. Supposedly, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hectic. That's just, it, there's a lot of facts out there. And as facts come to light, we need to figure out what to do with them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I get emails from a variety of sources.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One of them is a company that, yeah, whatever it doesn't matter. I recently found out that this company. Um, yeah. Was wholehearted supporters of Nazis back. And I know if you go ahead and Google, there's a fashion company, supposedly that was there's a computer company that supposedly was a, and there's there's companies in other countries where like founders of companies were Nazi sympathizers back in the day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, there are other companies who, manufactured stuff that was in use by, you know, east German agents (Matt makes continuation sounds) and as we discover these facts, we need to figure out what to do with them. Honestly, as an American discovering, you know, hearing about the manifest destiny, which was, it was the, it was the right of all the settlers to take all this land because it wasn't, I don't know, properly being used.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know what the right arguments are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Very </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> dispassionately. In elementary school. I'm sorry. Say that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> again. What </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I learned about all I learned about manifest destiny, very dispassionately, uh, in elementary school. And I still remember there was a painting of the trail of tears. If you really take a moment. And like I say, spend a brain cell on and really ponder what that is, it was messed up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But this picture that was created, this painting, where they describe it, looked like well-dressed people, one was in a wagon and they were just going to from somewhere in the south to Oklahoma, to their reservation in Oklahoma. And. It deflated the argument that this was, this was a horrific thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> First of all, it's barely a paragraph.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">First of all, I was never taught that, that, I mean, right. You can spend a whole master's degree on the trail of tears. Like, you know what I mean? And, and all we got was me. I didn't even get that by the way. Thank God by some miracle, like I get information, I'm able to teach our kids, but all I heard, all I probably saw was that painting you were talking about in school, it was never talked about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. And that's just, it there's so many, gosh, darn facts. And, you know, you need to figure it out and figure it out for yourselves. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And cause you always say this history , is told by the victors. And I say the history is told by the bullies who take over stuff and everybody else is, , a Savage. Yes. You know, unhuman, unhuman, not human. So in killing them , it's no big deal. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> ridiculous. And then of course we do take moments to pause and say yes, but Sacagawea helped Lewis and Clark. And the first Thanksgiving was with the Indians who helped the pilgrims. And it all seems rather pleasant until you realized how many quote, unquote Indians, native Americans, first people, whatever you want to call them, had to get pushed out of the way so that I could have my tobacco plantation or whatever it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is a really important topic. Again, one that needs to be discussed fully by really educated people by people whose ancestors have gone through this. And hopefully they have stories. I feel like we're going to do it an injustice by moving to the other thought that I had, please forgive me, but can we veer off to what I was trying to say about us being under a spell right now and how they, the surrogate friend has become this force that is now trying to manipulate you to do certain things. Right. We were talking about consumerism. It reminds me of when there is a neglected child, when a parent, you know, have you seen those parents that have no time for their children?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're always working. They barely are present. They're in the same room, even you're not fully present, you're not seeing each other. You're not hearing each other. I feel like that's become our society. And what I'm about to describe as like the parent child dynamic of buying a child stuff to replace the fact that there wasn't attention placed upon this child</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">so if you don't have time, or if you don't have the bandwidth to really be present for your child, you just buy your child things. This is what wealthy people who can do that do. Right. You just, you just get them stuff. Right. And I feel like the American society has kind of gone to that with. We're experiencing all this trauma; and instead of fixing it, instead of talking about it and instead of healing it and getting to the core and being present with what's truly bothering everyone, we're saying, treat yourself. I deserve this. And it's that entitled mentality that has taken over our society. Like I deserve this. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We, we don't think it a big deal when we turn on the light switch and there's electricity, there's a light. We don't think it's a big deal to just go to the sink and turn on the water and water, clean water. Well, not everybody has clean water. Most of us don't, there's all kinds of stuff in water.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't get me here. Um, don't get me started on that. But what I'm saying is , there's water. Do you know what I mean there, or the fact that there's water on the planet or that we have oxygen to breathe. Don't take that for granted. But we have this entitlement that has become such a barrier for us to really connect with one another, because stuff has taken the place of having true connection. So, you know, yeah. Now we're watching the news and to make us feel better, go by this. Oh, the world is burning. Let's fix those supply chains so you can buy stuff. What I'm trying to get at is the treat yourself society. Treat yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Where's that coming from. And how is that bringing us closer together? I think it's creating more isolation. Treat yourself. Me Me Me!, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? Don't be challenged. Don't be disagreed with comfort </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and it's the American dream to have everything that you want. It's the American dream. It's like, it's like the slogan that we hear all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everybody wants to come to the United States. It's the American dream. Is it? W what kind of dream is it where we're not even a family? We're always fighting. They're always shootings. The fact is most people are lonely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Most people don't even know how to sit together and be comfortable together. It's all about their bubble, their space.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">How did major consumerism come in and why I'll tell you why? I think it's to keep you separate it's to keep you satiated when, what you really need is a friend, what you really need is companionship. And what you really need is to have a talk about how you're feeling, what you really need is to express what you've been through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Advertising grew from a need for a company to grow consume, and it has trans morphed into how do we manipulate people into doing what we want them to do, which is consume more, and certainly, the economy is better when money circulating through and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> have you noticed when there's a time of fear, they use fear to sell. If you look at most commercials, if you don't get this, you're not going to have a good life. They put a fear factor in there, so you need that product. There's always an element of fear in most commercials.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Always big words. It's tricky that way, but certainly a lot of the marketing that happens for those of you who don't, when you have a little kid, when you have a, you know, a baby, is your baby keeping up with all the other babies and the commercialism does play right on into that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, if you don't get your kids, this access to this website, or you don't get them these books, or you don't play with them a certain way, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And everything's about your child and the chart, there's a growth and a weight and height chart. There's a cognitive whatever chart. And it's all just fear, fear, fear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">lot </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> of it. I mean, it's everywhere it is. If you don't get into this certain university, you'll never make it. You know, universities have commercials and in ways you don't even suspect that you're hearing a commercial. Like I said, it's all a spell that we're under. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> A lot of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Absolutely. And the thing is the spell would be broken if we actually got together and spoke, Like how we're speaking now, but more of us talking, like, I wish, I wish our friends who listened to us could join in on the show and we could have a conversation. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And maybe disagree respectfully, which would be a really good thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. Because we don't, there's not enough disagreeing, respectfully. It's all gotten very </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> nasty. Well, because we're not heard yet. We're not like I. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. And it's also because we do have a certain element of anonymity, so that affords us the opportunity to just be a complete a-hole. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's very robotic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like it's all algorithms and everything created by some companies like Facebook. Who are you really talking to?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Who are you really talking to? How are you being curated? How are you being manipulated? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Manipulated. Anyway, we just went totally off, off, off the subject. But what I was saying was sometimes there's a surrogate friend and you have to understand it's a surrogate friend, it's a substitute, and you may need that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That suits its purpose. For me, the purpose was I needed to come commiserate. I just needed that. And as soon as I felt fueled enough by that, but not field to the point of a rage where I'm brainwashed, I started to see other things like, oh my God, what you're you want me to buy? Buy, buy constantly. Like, that's your point?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm here to make the world better. Luckily by the grace of some force out there, I was able to see it and catch myself, you know, and know, that's what I was doing. I desperately needed someone to have the same thoughts that I was having. So I don't feel as crazy for having the thoughts. I'm having to have it be bounced back a little bit back and forth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what I needed. We have to be really careful. That's it? I don't even know how to bring this around. I mean, I really just wanted to have the surrogate friend saying, you know, it's needed. I just feel like we totally took it to an evil conspiracy. Like the world is so messed up right now kind of deal. And it's not it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">W what I'm trying to say is like, let's just have conversations together, right? Have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> conversations. Let's disagree, respectfully let's challenge each other respectfully, and hopefully grow as a people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Surrogates should be for a little bit of. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's this can be helpful for a limited amount of time. Yes. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You need, I mean, I just, I just caught myself saying you don't need a surrogate. You do need a second sometimes. Sometimes, and it's beneficial sometimes. So that's it. Um, how do we make this happy before we go?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's a good question. Thanks for dumping that on laugh. How do we make it happy? Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> how to make </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it light? Just know that, I mean, certainly for me, I don't agree on a political spectrum. Uh, majority of my friends and we touch and on these subjects and we talk about these subjects and I hear the frustrations and the non frustrations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think it helps me understand where they're coming from that I listen. And then, because I listen, they listened to my side. We may still completely disagree and be at loggerheads, but I'm not. Aggressively trying to make this person change their mind. I'm not aggressively trying to express my rage at, you know, their raw stupidity, because I don't feel that way because I respect my friends because I love my friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, it's about everybody, all the people in the conversation growing</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and with me. I would like, I just want to be quiet. I'm so tired of talking about trying to express what I see, do you know what I mean? I'm not tired of talking the podcast. I'm tired of explaining. And I, I just want peace and no arguments for awhile.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Honestly, I just want quiet. I want to eat and drink and enjoy, enjoy the earth and clean things up right. Quietly. That's what I want to do. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You want to eat, you want to drink, you want to heal and get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it and heal and heal and help each other heal. Right. And I think that's where I want to close it off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Is there anything else you want to add? Nope.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">All right. Thank you for listening . Please go to our website, our friendly world podcast.com. There's a little donate button, any few pennies, whatever will help us so much. Thank you. Thanks for listening. Seriously, love to all of you. We appreciate you so much. Love you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we'll talk to you in just a few days before that if you reach out to us. Okay. Thank you. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What are we substituting in place of real friendship? How is this changing our society? Are we able to notice the spells that are cast in our lives and how they change our friendships? What are these spells? This is our conversation today.Your experience matters to us. Please contact us and talk to us...https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
and perhaps donate a cup of coffee to support our show:
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
 
The Surrogate Friend – TRANSCRIPT 
[00:00:00] Fawn: I don't know if I ever showed you this, but there was a vegan cooking show done. Uh, very, I don't know. Is there such a thing as a goth heavy metal guy, 
[00:00:10] Matt: that there was no goth 
heavy metal, oh dear. 
[00:00:13] Fawn: He was very underground, scary sounding. He sounded like a demond, 
[00:00:17] Matt: right. But that's not 
goth.
That's like when you start getting. into like, I don't know, extreme death 
or 
[00:00:23] Fawn: he was like that 
[00:00:24] Matt: or all the stuff I don't listen to. Cause folks, I love clean vocals makes me a bad person. Then that makes me a 
bad person. 
[00:00:31] Fawn: Did you show me that? Or did I find it on my own? Probably 
[00:00:34] Matt: found it. And this was in that point in time where vegans were completely weird and this certainly didn't help anybody make any kind of a case for it.
[00:00:42] Fawn: But so he was singing with that, like demonic sound. And teaching you how to make vegan Pad Thai in his basement. It wasn't a basement. It was like this underground, like under in the catacombs. I don't know. It was very dark and mysterious and. Crazy soundness, because 
[00:01:05] ]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:43:40</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendly Steps Towards A Better Society - 1  Brand New Day]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Jan 2022 02:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/friendly-steps-towards-a-better-society-1-brand-new-day</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friendly-steps-towards-a-better-society-1-brand-new-day</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to try something new and once in a while, there will be these short bursts of episodes, each one a task we'll complete to make our world better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:large;">Please reach out to us and talk to us:<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/</a><br /></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:large;">Coffee for Fawn and Matt:<br />https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace<br /></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcripts - Friendly Steps 1 Brand New Day</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. Welcome. Welcome, welcome to our friendly world everybody. I have something new. We're going to try something new and once in a while these will be like short bursts of episodes, but there'll be a really powerful, are you ready for my idea? No, don't be scared. They're like, so I wouldn't call them,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we know we had, before we had friendly reminders, we'll still have them sprinkled around but friendly reminders came from Santa Monica. They were, we called them nuggets of wisdom. They came from the friends in the neighborhood. So I want to try something, I'm going to call friendly steps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We may change the name. I'm not sure, but they're like baby steps and it's not like, step one, step two, step three., You have to go in order, anything like that. They're just baby steps to get our society going to that beautiful little utopia that we envision. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, baby steps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And today I want to start with a brand new day because it just, this is something that's bothered me ever since I can remember. How people completely go wild on new year's Eve midnight, the stroke of midnight. They start cursing the year that is about to end and saying, Ooh, brand new year. Welcome. Love you and cursing the one that's just leaving. Right? Inevitably, it just feels like every party I've gone to, every show I've seen late at night, midnight watching our society ring in the new year. They do that. And it always horrifies me that, oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just, if you can think of it as a second ago, like a year ago, just a second ago, you were saying the same thing about this year that you're now cursing goodbye, right? Like it was horrible. I hate you. Bye. Get outta here, you know, in fact not, and not respecting it because it has brought you to where you are, you were alive, you are here, you're breathing and it has brought you here and is ceremonially leading to a brand new day where in fact, every day is a brand new day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is the friendly step today. It's about the brand new day and every friendly step, what I'm going to do is have you do something so teeny tiny. Just do it and see what happens. Today, or, when you think of it, when you feel, when you're moved to do it, the keyword being move, notice anyone, someone. Maybe start with a stranger. Preferably I prefer to do it with a stranger. Oh, don't, don't take that out of context. Um, look at someone and find something extraordinary about this person. You can do this from a window and the person can be far, far away, but you can still see them when you spot that extraordinary thing.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[We're going to try something new and once in a while, there will be these short bursts of episodes, each one a task we'll complete to make our world better.
Please reach out to us and talk to us:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/
 
Coffee for Fawn and Matt:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
Transcripts - Friendly Steps 1 Brand New Day
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello. Welcome. Welcome, welcome to our friendly world everybody. I have something new. We're going to try something new and once in a while these will be like short bursts of episodes, but there'll be a really powerful, are you ready for my idea? No, don't be scared. They're like, so I wouldn't call them,
we know we had, before we had friendly reminders, we'll still have them sprinkled around but friendly reminders came from Santa Monica. They were, we called them nuggets of wisdom. They came from the friends in the neighborhood. So I want to try something, I'm going to call friendly steps.
We may change the name. I'm not sure, but they're like baby steps and it's not like, step one, step two, step three., You have to go in order, anything like that. They're just baby steps to get our society going to that beautiful little utopia that we envision. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, baby steps.
And today I want to start with a brand new day because it just, this is something that's bothered me ever since I can remember. How people completely go wild on new year's Eve midnight, the stroke of midnight. They start cursing the year that is about to end and saying, Ooh, brand new year. Welcome. Love you and cursing the one that's just leaving. Right? Inevitably, it just feels like every party I've gone to, every show I've seen late at night, midnight watching our society ring in the new year. They do that. And it always horrifies me that, oh my God.
Just, if you can think of it as a second ago, like a year ago, just a second ago, you were saying the same thing about this year that you're now cursing goodbye, right? Like it was horrible. I hate you. Bye. Get outta here, you know, in fact not, and not respecting it because it has brought you to where you are, you were alive, you are here, you're breathing and it has brought you here and is ceremonially leading to a brand new day where in fact, every day is a brand new day.
So this is the friendly step today. It's about the brand new day and every friendly step, what I'm going to do is have you do something so teeny tiny. Just do it and see what happens. Today, or, when you think of it, when you feel, when you're moved to do it, the keyword being move, notice anyone, someone. Maybe start with a stranger. Preferably I prefer to do it with a stranger. Oh, don't, don't take that out of context. Um, look at someone and find something extraordinary about this person. You can do this from a window and the person can be far, far away, but you can still see them when you spot that extraordinary thing.
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                </itunes:subtitle>
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                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friendly Steps Towards A Better Society - 1  Brand New Day]]>
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                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
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                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to try something new and once in a while, there will be these short bursts of episodes, each one a task we'll complete to make our world better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:large;">Please reach out to us and talk to us:<br /><a href="https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/">https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/</a><br /></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:large;">Coffee for Fawn and Matt:<br />https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace<br /></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcripts - Friendly Steps 1 Brand New Day</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. Welcome. Welcome, welcome to our friendly world everybody. I have something new. We're going to try something new and once in a while these will be like short bursts of episodes, but there'll be a really powerful, are you ready for my idea? No, don't be scared. They're like, so I wouldn't call them,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we know we had, before we had friendly reminders, we'll still have them sprinkled around but friendly reminders came from Santa Monica. They were, we called them nuggets of wisdom. They came from the friends in the neighborhood. So I want to try something, I'm going to call friendly steps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We may change the name. I'm not sure, but they're like baby steps and it's not like, step one, step two, step three., You have to go in order, anything like that. They're just baby steps to get our society going to that beautiful little utopia that we envision. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, baby steps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And today I want to start with a brand new day because it just, this is something that's bothered me ever since I can remember. How people completely go wild on new year's Eve midnight, the stroke of midnight. They start cursing the year that is about to end and saying, Ooh, brand new year. Welcome. Love you and cursing the one that's just leaving. Right? Inevitably, it just feels like every party I've gone to, every show I've seen late at night, midnight watching our society ring in the new year. They do that. And it always horrifies me that, oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just, if you can think of it as a second ago, like a year ago, just a second ago, you were saying the same thing about this year that you're now cursing goodbye, right? Like it was horrible. I hate you. Bye. Get outta here, you know, in fact not, and not respecting it because it has brought you to where you are, you were alive, you are here, you're breathing and it has brought you here and is ceremonially leading to a brand new day where in fact, every day is a brand new day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is the friendly step today. It's about the brand new day and every friendly step, what I'm going to do is have you do something so teeny tiny. Just do it and see what happens. Today, or, when you think of it, when you feel, when you're moved to do it, the keyword being move, notice anyone, someone. Maybe start with a stranger. Preferably I prefer to do it with a stranger. Oh, don't, don't take that out of context. Um, look at someone and find something extraordinary about this person. You can do this from a window and the person can be far, far away, but you can still see them when you spot that extraordinary thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It could be a glimpse. Shout it out to them. When you notice that one spark about this person, it could be a sweater they're wearing. It could be a shirt, it could be a vibe, but it has to be something beautiful. And then when you shout it out, when you yell at this this person from far away, now yelling as in like a happy, yay kind of yelling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I see you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> not to get off my lawn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hey, no, not, no. Get off my lawn. Like I see you. Wow. You're beautiful. Do you know what I mean? Something extraordinary, but you have to notice it. It has to be sincere. So something. And it will show it's on every single person. It will show itself. It's a spark and wave with a smile.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">As you're doing. And I'm not talking about the crazy smiles that I see as a photographer. Oh my God. Don't okay. Have you guys noticed, just look on any TV commercial in the United States when people are trying to sell you something or they're posing for a picture,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">they think all they have to do is stretch their lips. Is it, are these. They scratch their lips. You know, the things over your teeth, your lips, they stretch them ear to ear and they get their lips really. And it's just burying your teeth to me. When you look at the person's eyes, the expression hasn't changed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All they have done has been stretch their lips, right? It is horrifying when people do that to me, because it is the most scary insincere... like it lets me know what's really going on. And usually when that happens, when that expression happens, what's really going on is this person has not a spark of happiness or love.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is just pure either insecurity, a pain, hate it's all negative. Sometimes it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> disinterest or they're tired. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sometimes. No, you can be tired and still exude the love. Yes, no, but what I have noticed as a photographer. Okay. I'll have to put that on the table, like heavy handed, Matt. What I've noticed is not tired.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You, when someone is tired, they have a sense. They could have a sense of pure love about them. And gentle sincerity. But usually when I see people do this, they're running on a very low vibration of hate or hate is I know it's a really strong word for it, but you'll notice once you notice what I'm saying, when you feel something, when you smile, you should really be thinking of something that makes you really happy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Bearing your teeth is not, is not it. It's very scary. Don't do that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for me, the smile </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">is in the eyes anyways. It is, it does have something to do with the mouth, but it's in the eyes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, the thing is that you can be on the phone and smile and someone can feel it. You can be on the phone and bare your teeth like that, that I'm talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People will feel that too. It's insincere. You can definitely see it in the eyes, but it also works on the phone. When you can't see the person's face, you can tell that there's no smiling happening here. It's not happy. It's not gentle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Anyways, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, it's a bit, it's very important, Matt. I understand because the part of the step is you have to wave with a smile.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So you can't just bare your teeth. I want you to understand that. So I want you to wave wildly, right? Don't worry about what you look like. Except for the smile part. And then wave a closing wave disappearing as suddenly as you appear to them. I would do this in Santa Monica. I would notice someone from a block away and I would do that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I would notice something extraordinary about them and give them kudos about it. And then I would duck back into the, back into the apartment. So they, they would turn around and I would come back up, like it wasn't me. And they would be looking to see who said that to them. And they knew it was them that they were talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I could see a skip, like a little lightness in their step, like it helped them. Right. Right. So as you disappear, don't worry about it. You may or may not see them again. You probably will at some point. Let that magic or SPANDA happen. Spanda comes from a form of yoga and what it means w what it is, is it's a primordial vibration of the universe and of your being. It usually refers to the creation of the universe. It's a Sanskrit word. It's derived from the root spoddy, which means movement, motion or vibration.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's something that you can't see. It's a divine power. Spanda. So that's what you're doing. It's a new day. And we're going to start with new little baby steps, friendly steps, along our way to making our society a better one. And as you've listened to our show, how long has it been? A year and a half?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Something like, yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We have done almost a hundred shows 90, maybe 95 sometimes. I don't, I don't, I don't really know the number. Friends who have been listening, you know, but we're not beating anyone over the head with, look, this is how to be a friend. Our show is our friendly world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're just going to live it. We're just going to speak it. And we're not going to say, Hey, this is it, this is the way. But the art of friendship is what we're all about and we're just going to be it. And we're going to have that circle about us always. And it's kind of like live by example. And the, one of the prime examples of the art of friendship is to have beautiful conversation and it, and the beautiful doesn't always mean flowering and happy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And as you all have listened, Matt and I have argued. Matt has dropped the mic and walked away because he's upset about something that I was talking about that he didn't want to get into, and then we had to work it out and have him come back to the table and finish the conversation. So it's not always like that kind of beautiful where it's like roses and butterflies and tweeting birds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's, it's a conversation and that's what needs to happen in our society. That's one of the things we have lost is that it's like the lost art of conversation, the art of friendship. So there's a reason why we do this at our table, at our kitchen table, we are creating a circle of friendship and we share, we share our life experiences.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We share our ideas. We share the things that we see out there that can turn into the absurd. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're the first person I ever heard say this, Matt, when we first met, I was having trouble with work and I would come into aikido. You could tell visibly, like had a bad day and you could tell I had cried a lot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right, right. Before stepping into aikido. And you would tell me, I wish you could remember the exact words you would say to me, it's okay because sometimes life can get so, so many things can happen that it reaches the realm of absurdity. Oh yeah. What did you say to me or something like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that? Yeah, absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sometimes the world does. The absurd realms where it's like, okay, I can't believe this just happened. I mean, it's just like, it's almost like I nowadays I would say Punchdrunk, but it's just like, the world just keeps hitting you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And when it reaches that form of absurdity, you can start laughing at it and start laughing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> at it because it's like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what else can you do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, other, stuff's going to keep, just keep rolling. So, you can either laugh or you can cry. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">pick your poison. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> If you have a friend, one of you can cry. One of you can laugh and then you can switch back and forth until you get a handle on it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And that's the whole point is you have to realize sometimes you don't have control.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like being caught in a current. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what do you think about before we close off? What do you think about this one baby step of noticing someone's spark. It has to be. I don't want, I don't want to say it has to be, but I would prefer you start with a stranger, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? On some level. It's certainly easier if you start with a stranger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">But what's interesting that you mentioned because just this week I was reading from somebody. God knows who, because I read way too much, but they mentioned how at the end of every zoom call, they will just look at the camera and wave wildly and guess what? Everyone else at the company is starting to do it too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? I did that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, people generally tend to wave at the end of a conversation, but I find even the beginning when you're like, oh my God, should I say anything? Say something, say, Hey, I see you. Call out people when they show up. If they don't announce themselves have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">fun. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Well, yeah, exactly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's the whole point is have fun with this and be honest and be, you know, really try and take in this person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you, Matt. Exactly. That this is about having fun. You're a little kid spying, not in a creepy way, but just like, you know, you notice someone and you're just going to shout it out to the world, how fabulous they are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. So that's our friendly step of the day, baby steps. And again, this is meant to be fun. Fun, fun. All right. So we'll talk to you in a few. This is it just a short, quick one, but we'll be with you holding hands with you, vibrationally as you do this, I want to hear what happens, let us know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">By the way, if you really enjoy our show, we would appreciate if you could partake with us in a cup of coffee, there's an app. It's on our website, our friendly world podcast.com. If you could support our show in any way you can, we would be over the moon over all the galaxies. If he could buy us a cup of coffee, that would be amazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Again. Thank you all for listening. We'll talk to you in a few days. Be well, bye everybody.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[We're going to try something new and once in a while, there will be these short bursts of episodes, each one a task we'll complete to make our world better.
Please reach out to us and talk to us:https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/contact/
 
Coffee for Fawn and Matt:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
Transcripts - Friendly Steps 1 Brand New Day
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello. Welcome. Welcome, welcome to our friendly world everybody. I have something new. We're going to try something new and once in a while these will be like short bursts of episodes, but there'll be a really powerful, are you ready for my idea? No, don't be scared. They're like, so I wouldn't call them,
we know we had, before we had friendly reminders, we'll still have them sprinkled around but friendly reminders came from Santa Monica. They were, we called them nuggets of wisdom. They came from the friends in the neighborhood. So I want to try something, I'm going to call friendly steps.
We may change the name. I'm not sure, but they're like baby steps and it's not like, step one, step two, step three., You have to go in order, anything like that. They're just baby steps to get our society going to that beautiful little utopia that we envision. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, baby steps.
And today I want to start with a brand new day because it just, this is something that's bothered me ever since I can remember. How people completely go wild on new year's Eve midnight, the stroke of midnight. They start cursing the year that is about to end and saying, Ooh, brand new year. Welcome. Love you and cursing the one that's just leaving. Right? Inevitably, it just feels like every party I've gone to, every show I've seen late at night, midnight watching our society ring in the new year. They do that. And it always horrifies me that, oh my God.
Just, if you can think of it as a second ago, like a year ago, just a second ago, you were saying the same thing about this year that you're now cursing goodbye, right? Like it was horrible. I hate you. Bye. Get outta here, you know, in fact not, and not respecting it because it has brought you to where you are, you were alive, you are here, you're breathing and it has brought you here and is ceremonially leading to a brand new day where in fact, every day is a brand new day.
So this is the friendly step today. It's about the brand new day and every friendly step, what I'm going to do is have you do something so teeny tiny. Just do it and see what happens. Today, or, when you think of it, when you feel, when you're moved to do it, the keyword being move, notice anyone, someone. Maybe start with a stranger. Preferably I prefer to do it with a stranger. Oh, don't, don't take that out of context. Um, look at someone and find something extraordinary about this person. You can do this from a window and the person can be far, far away, but you can still see them when you spot that extraordinary thing.
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/IMG-7973-Copy.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:14:57</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Making, Baking, and Breaking Bread Together - The Gata, with Joseph Krikorian]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Jan 2022 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/making-baking-and-breaking-bread-together-the-gata-with-joseph-krikorian</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/making-baking-and-breaking-bread-together-the-gata-with-joseph-krikorian</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This is a longer show for a reason. We begin before Joey shows up by expressing some emotional stress and turmoil that happened to us this past week from fires to blizzards, to another case of Fawn experiencing some more racism, yet another mass shooting in Colorado, to all the other stuff. We talk about how important it is to clear the air before we meet our friends, before a ceremonial time together. So we do this before Joey shows up.</p>
<p>When Joey shows up, we discuss the importance of ceremony, the importance of learning and respecting each other's cultures and history, Star Wars, why pronunciation is such a trigger, and then we continue talking as we make, bake, and break the Gata Bread. Just press pause when you need to and come back and make sure you hear all of this episode (where you'll learn to make the most amazing ancient dessert) and make sure you are present for the last 30 minutes as we come to a very special understanding about get-togethers in life.</p>
<p>Some Links:</p>
<p>If you would like to support our show by buying us a coffee:<br />https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p>To reach Joey: </p>
<p>Kryptontoalderaan@gmail.com.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/kryptontoalderaan/">https://www.instagram.com/kryptontoalderaan/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://linktr.ee/kryptontoalderaan">https://linktr.ee/kryptontoalderaan</a></p>
<p><a href="https://twitter.com/kryptonalderaan">https://twitter.com/kryptonalderaan</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>To reach Andrew Janjigian</p>
<p>Pictures and recipe for Gata – Thank you, Andrew Janjigian<br /><a href="https://www.seriouseats.com/gata-5185123">https://www.seriouseats.com/gata-5185123</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Preshow therapy Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Our sweet friend, Joey is coming here soon in like a few minutes. And one of the things we always talk about is the art of being a good host. I feel like I needed to talk with you all before Joey comes. So before a friend comes, have you ever experienced this? When you've had a hard time with something, it could be anything, but you're having a hard time meaning that maybe you're not in the best mood and that you need to process something first before you open up the doors and go, hi.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yay. Our friend is here. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So no, and I get that, but you know, being raised in a more Germanic household, we just compartmentalize, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, I don't. And before, before sweet Joey comes, I need to express, I need to communicate what's been bothering me the past few days. Yesterday was Elle's birthday. Right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The day before that I had to take her for immunizations. I got into a really bad mood. Like I wasn't expressing it to anyone, but it was a seed. Something was bothering me and it was starting to build. Every time I experienced any form of microaggression or macro aggression. It takes me by surprise because every time I process it, I'm like, okay, that's done. I'm not going to continue with this baggage. I'm going to clear it and I'm moving on as if that was just a one-time occurrence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I'm not going to invite that into my circle again...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This is a longer show for a reason. We begin before Joey shows up by expressing some emotional stress and turmoil that happened to us this past week from fires to blizzards, to another case of Fawn experiencing some more racism, yet another mass shooting in Colorado, to all the other stuff. We talk about how important it is to clear the air before we meet our friends, before a ceremonial time together. So we do this before Joey shows up.
When Joey shows up, we discuss the importance of ceremony, the importance of learning and respecting each other's cultures and history, Star Wars, why pronunciation is such a trigger, and then we continue talking as we make, bake, and break the Gata Bread. Just press pause when you need to and come back and make sure you hear all of this episode (where you'll learn to make the most amazing ancient dessert) and make sure you are present for the last 30 minutes as we come to a very special understanding about get-togethers in life.
Some Links:
If you would like to support our show by buying us a coffee:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
To reach Joey: 
Kryptontoalderaan@gmail.com.
https://www.instagram.com/kryptontoalderaan/
https://linktr.ee/kryptontoalderaan
https://twitter.com/kryptonalderaan
 
To reach Andrew Janjigian
Pictures and recipe for Gata – Thank you, Andrew Janjigianhttps://www.seriouseats.com/gata-5185123
 
Preshow therapy Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Our sweet friend, Joey is coming here soon in like a few minutes. And one of the things we always talk about is the art of being a good host. I feel like I needed to talk with you all before Joey comes. So before a friend comes, have you ever experienced this? When you've had a hard time with something, it could be anything, but you're having a hard time meaning that maybe you're not in the best mood and that you need to process something first before you open up the doors and go, hi.
Yay. Our friend is here. Right. 
[00:00:38] Matt: So no, and I get that, but you know, being raised in a more Germanic household, we just compartmentalize, 
[00:00:44] Fawn: well, I don't. And before, before sweet Joey comes, I need to express, I need to communicate what's been bothering me the past few days. Yesterday was Elle's birthday. Right?
The day before that I had to take her for immunizations. I got into a really bad mood. Like I wasn't expressing it to anyone, but it was a seed. Something was bothering me and it was starting to build. Every time I experienced any form of microaggression or macro aggression. It takes me by surprise because every time I process it, I'm like, okay, that's done. I'm not going to continue with this baggage. I'm going to clear it and I'm moving on as if that was just a one-time occurrence.
Right. And I'm not going to invite that into my circle again...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Making, Baking, and Breaking Bread Together - The Gata, with Joseph Krikorian]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This is a longer show for a reason. We begin before Joey shows up by expressing some emotional stress and turmoil that happened to us this past week from fires to blizzards, to another case of Fawn experiencing some more racism, yet another mass shooting in Colorado, to all the other stuff. We talk about how important it is to clear the air before we meet our friends, before a ceremonial time together. So we do this before Joey shows up.</p>
<p>When Joey shows up, we discuss the importance of ceremony, the importance of learning and respecting each other's cultures and history, Star Wars, why pronunciation is such a trigger, and then we continue talking as we make, bake, and break the Gata Bread. Just press pause when you need to and come back and make sure you hear all of this episode (where you'll learn to make the most amazing ancient dessert) and make sure you are present for the last 30 minutes as we come to a very special understanding about get-togethers in life.</p>
<p>Some Links:</p>
<p>If you would like to support our show by buying us a coffee:<br />https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p>To reach Joey: </p>
<p>Kryptontoalderaan@gmail.com.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/kryptontoalderaan/">https://www.instagram.com/kryptontoalderaan/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://linktr.ee/kryptontoalderaan">https://linktr.ee/kryptontoalderaan</a></p>
<p><a href="https://twitter.com/kryptonalderaan">https://twitter.com/kryptonalderaan</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>To reach Andrew Janjigian</p>
<p>Pictures and recipe for Gata – Thank you, Andrew Janjigian<br /><a href="https://www.seriouseats.com/gata-5185123">https://www.seriouseats.com/gata-5185123</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Preshow therapy Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Our sweet friend, Joey is coming here soon in like a few minutes. And one of the things we always talk about is the art of being a good host. I feel like I needed to talk with you all before Joey comes. So before a friend comes, have you ever experienced this? When you've had a hard time with something, it could be anything, but you're having a hard time meaning that maybe you're not in the best mood and that you need to process something first before you open up the doors and go, hi.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yay. Our friend is here. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So no, and I get that, but you know, being raised in a more Germanic household, we just compartmentalize, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, I don't. And before, before sweet Joey comes, I need to express, I need to communicate what's been bothering me the past few days. Yesterday was Elle's birthday. Right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The day before that I had to take her for immunizations. I got into a really bad mood. Like I wasn't expressing it to anyone, but it was a seed. Something was bothering me and it was starting to build. Every time I experienced any form of microaggression or macro aggression. It takes me by surprise because every time I process it, I'm like, okay, that's done. I'm not going to continue with this baggage. I'm going to clear it and I'm moving on as if that was just a one-time occurrence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I'm not going to invite that into my circle again, but what happens is it does come up again and I feel so shocked and surprised by it that it takes me a good many, many hours for me to understand for me to understand why I'm upset. I have to figure out where did this come from? So it takes a while for me to understand where it came from.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So here we are, again; every time I take our kids to the pediatrician or anywhere, actually I get the. Uh, I get accosted, if you will. I don't know. Maybe that's too harsh of a word, but to my heart is not, it is not a harsh word. I feel accosted. It's the way that the medical staff will treat me by not looking at me when I'm speaking, trying to give them vital information about either you or the kids.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They ignore me and I'm treated like, an undesirable. So, and that happened again. It was the day before L's birthday. They don't look at me. They ignore me. They'll looked at Elle when I asked a question. And it's just, I don't want to get into it too much. I just want to get this off my chest before our sweet friend comes, because I don't want to have a lingering energy of upsettedness when we have company over.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And even if that is company in the form of lovely Joey showing up on zoom and we're going to bake bread together today. So the next day was Elle's birthday. And I was so overwhelmed with all the, I started to replay all the things that have accumulated for me. And I wasn't even aware that I was doing it, but usually first for anyone's birthday,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I go into ceremony mode. I bake a special cake and it's a ceremonial cake, much like the kind of bread that we're doing today. It is a big deal. I put up decorations I'm up until probably 4:30 5 in the morning, finishing the cakes, putting the decorations up, making sure that everything looks honored like the person is being honored.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I just didn't have it in me to even think about doing it. And in the morning when I woke up, I heard whispering you and Alegra were whispering about putting up the decorations. And I felt so bad, Matt. I felt so bad that I forgot to do all that. And I was trying to figure out why, like, why would I forget that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why would I not do that? I've done it every, for every occasion. Right. But I was just like overwhelmed, I guess. And then, so I thought, okay, well let me freshen it up. Then we actually put on some sparkles in the form of like makeup, like sparkles on my eyes, put my hair up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> your sparkly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> blouse. Well before the sparkly blouse, I actually wore a dress that I got, a beautiful festive dress and I put it on and I'm like, I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, oh no, because I still see my body the way it was when we were doing martial arts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When I felt fit before I had two very sloppy C-sections and I looked at my stomach, I'm like, I can't wear this dress that I got, like I can't wear anything and I don't know, friends out there, especially women that can destroy you and that puts you in a bad mood and it makes you like, not want to communicate with others.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's just so much associated with that. There's shame. There's resentment. There's like all these feelings show up because of a C-section. Um, scar or a C-section like bubble that is now on your body. And then I started to, now that I think about it, cause I had time to think. I started to think of like all the things and all the ways that have caused some harm to me by other people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I started to think, oh my God, this is why I'm in a bad mood. It started with being at the medical appointment with, for Elle and I, and I, and it's her birthday. And I thought, you know, her birthday is a joy Joe with joyous, joyous occasion. And I started to think I'm like, wow, really? If I'm honest, it was not a joyous experience for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Her birth was. Yes. The, the welcoming of Elle was a joyous occasion, but it was not for me joyous. I was mistreated from the beginning, the way the staff, the hospital treated us. Do you remember? They would ignore me. They ignored you guilty by association. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yeah, I remember. And I remember all the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> trauma.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember the nurse came in and we said, hello. She wouldn't even look at us and say hello back. Um, she kept reusing the needle. For some reason, my vein was making it pop back out. She would touch the needle, fidget with it and Jap me with it again, over and over and over again. And I, I remember saying is that sanitary???.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ignored me didn't even look at me. And then not long after that, the symptoms started to come on of like an infection and immediately the hospital was blaming us saying, oh, well you waited too long to come here. Where in fact, my water broke at the hospital, not anywhere else. And I don't know, we can get into the specifics of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I wish that I'm not sueing type, but I wish I could have had the power to Sue this hospital for the way that we got treated for two weeks, it was all day, every day for two weeks, mishap after mishap, where I almost died and Elle almost died. We had the friggin priest come to give us the last rights.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do you call that? When the priest shows up to give the last prayer before someone passes away, they brought that person in, you know, and it was just so traumatic and we had thank God, some angels that helped us out. Right. But all that came to surface and I thought, I can't be totally joyous.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, like I forgot about all these memories. And so as we were baking the cake together, cause I hadn't even baked the cake that night. You were helping me Allegra was helping me and it's, it's not like we have the biggest kitchen and I am, I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to the kitchen, especially like, I like things just so, I have my way of doing things and I taught them to Allegra, and then you come into the mix and it was getting too much for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And all of a sudden, I just burst into tears. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Yeah. No, and I completely get it, but see, it's almost like you're missing stuff. you know, what happened to the nation on January 6th? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What happened to us on January 6th? Isn't that when Chris passed away two days before </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> January 5th, so, and I had a beer on him this week, this year, because that's what I do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I don't neglect that at all, but it is a moment for me. So three </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> days before Elle was born Matt's best friend passes away. And he was three states away, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">same </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> age, same everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So like you had to process that would you didn't process the birth of your first child, right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And honestly, Still processing that, but I think I'm better about things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then there's, you know, all the baggage that comes along with January 1st and all the baggage that comes along with a Christmas time thing. I mean, there's just, there's an interesting amount of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stuff and think about it just days before, we had the fires in Boulder, which is you're in Boulder. So we had to once again, pack an escape bag.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we're not evacuated though. Thank </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> goodness we were not, but we had to make sure that we were ready to go. And I know people who were so we know people who are yes. Um, but we, you know, it was still in our county. And then days before that we had yet another mass shooting, you know, it was just too much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And, and I feel that I remember then that's why you got nothing but sympathy for me yesterday. I remember I hit a point where I was overwhelmed and it was like that one thing hit. And this was when we were living here and I accidentally, whatever you want to call it. I went through a speed camera and it, and it caught me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you see the flash and you're like, son of a, and that was, that was like the last. The straw that I had that day. Now that happened to me when I'm feeling resilient, I'm feeling strong and feeling together. That's another story. It's just like damn bad luck. But when it's that one more thing, when you think that you've got everything under control and you don't, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and you know, it was a couple of days before Elle's birthday.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we had to take care of Al's health, like Al was not doing well. And I had to deal with all these forms and finding the right therapist for her and all this stuff. And I had so many emails from work, all the, so many things I had to do for everything right along with the medical stuff. And I was feeling overwhelmed that I couldn't even look at the emails.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I was looking at them, but I didn't know what. I just felt stuck. I didn't, I was like going in circles and I went to you. I'm like, Matt, I know you're working. You're the one making the money. And you have a lot on your plate because your job is also, it's not, it's not, it's not bad. It's, it's just that you have a lot going on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have a lot of responsibility, but I'm like, look, I'm breaking. And you said, I can't deal right now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So you, but you make it sound all rational, right? That was not what you said. You did not say I'm breaking. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I did. What did I say from your perspective? And we got to hurry up because Joey is going </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to be here soon and I get it and, and we're just going to get into it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If I start down that road, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> whatever you have your perspective. I had </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a screaming fit that day at my computers. I know. Never scream at my computers. All right. I was so frustrated. You have no </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> idea. I do have an idea, cause we're all right there and you know what? I also feel that and you think I lose my head all the time, but I actually keep my head quite together most of the time, because you have no idea the turmoil that I'm going through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm keeping it quiet. But anyway, so we got into a fight and I said, just forget it. I guess I'll deal with it myself. And once again, I went and called, thank God Holly, who calmed me down and like helps me like task by task, figure it out. And she said, okay, this do this, this, you don't need to do this. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">get that off your plate. She helped me, I guess, the word for it would be prioritize and like get rid of things that I really don't need to be thinking about. So I did that and I was able to face it. Thank God for a friend like Holly. Um, but like, ah, I just feel like this needs to be expressed, especially before</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">a friend comes over because they feel it. So in order to have proper ceremony in order to be a good guest or a good host, you need to just communicate these things before someone comes over. Because before that, if you keep going with what you're experiencing the turmoil, and if you don't express it guaranteed, even if you put a smile on your face and like you have all the festive things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your friends, your guests will sense it and it's weird and it's gross and they can't put their finger on it. Right. So I just wanted to clear that before Joey comes and just express all that, still leaving my heart right now, I'm trying to clear it. Right. But I just want to say it has been a trying time. And just when we think, okay, that has been cleared.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're okay. It's time to move on, man. Some little thing will happen. Right. And all these emotions come bubbling back up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my God. Like a tsunami. It's the final straw. I totally get it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So, all right. Joey is going to be here in a few minutes He's here now, actually, um, So, okay. Friends, before the show starts, just wanted to get some things off of our </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> chests.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Welcome to a tiny little sliver of the, let it out </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> club. All right. So now we're going to start the show. Okay. Thanks for listening guys. And hopefully I'm not the only one that feels this way. I just wanted to share this with you all that, it's hard sometimes, and this is how we go on to have a happier.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">More, uh, celebratory gathering. All right. Well, okay. We'll see you in two. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But you got to tell </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> me, you love me, honey. Love is winning.. Oh, you do.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Making, Baking and Breaking Bread with Joey Part 1 Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Dating or before we started dating, uh, my, my, my wife to be thought she was being tricksy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> why do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you say that? Why do you always say my wife or my wife? It's me right here. Fawn, Fawn geesh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Fawn, totally had spaced out on my last name. And so she asked me, well, how do you pronounce, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hold on. It's not that I spaced out on your last name.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When we first met Matt, very ceremonially hands me his business card, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> power move, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but like, the ceremonial Japanese way to hand someone, the business card, you know, with both hands and then you were supposed to receive it with both hands, look at it and then put it in a very respectful place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was right after our Aikido, school day. And he's like, oh, here's my card. And he very ceremoniously gives me his card. Well, I was not feeling ceremonial around that time. So I said, okay, cool, thanks. And I just took it and I put in my bag, I didn't look at it. I never looked at it because I'm not impressed by titles and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think he wanted me to see if you had the power move. Yeah. There's grand master, like major software </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> developers, the Senor on it. That's the key. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't look at it. Honest truth. And so when I had to meet Matt for lunch date, which we were just friends, when we were going to meet at a lunch date as friends, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">she was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> going to stop by the office and we were going to go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">for lunch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I thought, oh my God, how am I going to find Matt in this big office building? So I asked him, how do you pronounce your last name? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Because she couldn't remember my last name, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> because I never knew your last name because I never looked at your card. So I thought, well, he probably has, oh, weird last name.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Pronunciation of names is really weird no matter what, except for yours, honey. Well, Anderson Anderson. So when I said, oh, how do you pronounce your name again? Cause it was my tricky way to find out what his last name was so I could find it on the directory. Go ahead. So I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> just laughed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yep. Yeah, of course. But the thing was, is I did tell her there was another Matt in my office, but that was Matt Pack</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but all this, because we were trying to figure out the name of the original recipe that we found that we're following that we're actually totally veering away from, by the way, because we were making to make it vegan.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But the recipe is originally from Andrew, Janjigian, we don't know, we don't know how to pronounce it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sorry if we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> mispronounced that one. Sorry, Andrew, please let us know how you pronounce your last name. But we were talking about, you can tell who is in your circle if they can pronounce your name and Joey was saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Back in the day a telemarketer would call. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah, a telemarketer. I mean, is anyone familiar with the comedian Mike Birbiglia? Standup comedian, because he does a bit about this and it's spot on, where a telemarketer will call and then look at your last name and be like, oh man.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's pretty much the vibe. Every time got everything from like people trying to, obviously people not trying Kirky corn was one that sticks out in my memory. I mean, all you got to do was really just like read the name, but it, but it also provided the opportunity, like you knew who to hang up on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That, that, that would be nice and simple for sure. And in point of fact, in the computer industry, we know there's a technology called Shibboleth and this actually stems from back in, I think what's now Israel, there was one language where they couldn't actually say Shibboleth and that's how they would make you say Shibboleth and if he couldn't pronounce it right, then they knew that you were not of their, your, they were not of your tribe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you knew they were a spy. So it's interesting. Some </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> gate keeping bullshit right there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Totally. That's how I can tell if someone will be racist towards me. If, if I hear them mispronounce the country, Iran, you know, if they say"I/ran" (putting the emphasis on a long I) , uh, I'm like, oh, here we go. Usually, you know, like I, my, my guard is up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> early two thousands politics pronunciation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> forever. Joey, like, well, since I was a kid, um, so that's one that, that is one red flag that will pop up for me. And as soon as someone who, like my friend, Emily, that I became friends this year, who's coming on the show, she's an artist, she's a children's book, author illustrator. Um, and she also makes children's games.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're going to have great conversation with her. Um, we were talking and I never said anything about Iran. I never said that's where I was from. But she suddenly started talking about Iran and she pronounced it perfectly. And I'm like, I already knew I loved her. Like, it was like love at first sight for us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like we became friends like that. But when I heard her pronounce one word properly my heart, I ha I released like such walls I didn't even know I had, even with Emily. When I heard her say it the way she did, I just felt such relief. And you know, when you feel relief, you don't even realize that you had been so clinched before, and then you feel relief.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're like, oh my God, thank you. Like, it makes you want to cry when someone pronounces something properly, especially your name or where you come from</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> and the opportunity for people to understand that, like the people who care to learn will listen to this or listen to someone like you talk about it in that way and understand how it should be said or what the pronunciation should be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the people who don't care. Won't like, I'm not sure that I knew how to pronounce it correctly, but I mean, understanding now what the correct pronunciation is and, and what it means to people is huge. And, uh, you know, it's just the progress of learning, just learning, right. And, and the perspective from other people and understanding that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Understanding how to progress. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. That I think the key word for me is understanding because you can learn and learn and learn, but to understand means you're, you've clicked into it. You're connected to it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> IQ more in, on progress, but yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So everyone, your friend, our beautiful friend, Joey is back Joey Krikorian.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hello, Krikorian. If Persian people with Ian is how you do the last part. Krikorian welcome back, Joey, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Thank you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> happy to be here. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here so excited for today. Everybody we're going to bake bread and we're going to make bread and break bread together. As we continue the conversation about how we express ourselves, our culture, and specifically speaking about the beautiful Armenian culture and the beautiful history and country that is Armenia and our beautiful sweet friend, Joey, going back to his roots, being Armenian bringing to the table, everything that, that entails and bringing back to our table, his great-grandfather and his great-grandmother.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Here we go. So today, We are talking about once again, the breaking of bread, our kids are here in the kitchen because they want it to be a part of this. So it's going to be a wild show. Hold on everyone. The last time we talked about this, not the after show, but the podcast that we did with you regarding the root of the matter, Joey, by the way, Joey, is a star geologist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:02]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I don't know how much of a star I am, but I am a Star Wars fan and geologists who, if you combine all of my passions and hobbies, we can put that together. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And he has this amazing podcast. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, go ahead, babe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Krypton to Alderaan. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> She did it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I did it right. I said, well done. Oh my God, I get so many things talking about mispronunciation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm always nervous because blaspheme I get Star Wars and Star Trek mixed up, like, okay, I, I apologize. Krypton to Alderaan. " Happy Apple Vegan," our friend, Wendy is into what you're talking about and your podcast as well. Shout out to Wendy. She's this amazing writer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Amazing. She creates recipes. She's a dear friend of ours, very talented writer, reporter, amazing person, amazing all around person and her son, her husband, Dave, I'm telling you, you guys are going to be best friends. So much in common anyway, so she's totally into the Star Wars thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:08]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Is she the person who commented on your posts on your Instagram posts about our episode? Yes. Yeah. That was really great to see. So thanks Wendy. And she also mentioned checking out, "A Hundred Year Walk," which is great to see. It's great to see people listening and taking stuff like that in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So yeah, I'd love anybody who reads the book. I'd love to talk to anyone about it also in just a real quick aside in our new podcasters meeting this past week that Fawn and I are a part of our other podcast friend, John invited me on his podcast, Collecting Confidence. And he said he specifically wanted to record with me so that he could hear my chickens in the background.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I don't know if you guys can hear this right now, but. It's happening for you there? I'm in my kitchen. The coop is right outside the kitchen window here, and we have a rooster and he's going bonkers. It's very loud. So you're getting the full experience. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have not heard him. Have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you heard him? No, not at all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Well, we see these zoom, maybe zoom noise, cancels, roosters. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm trying to listen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I love chickens and roosters. They crack me up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yes, but we also don't hear them all the time. I don't know how I'd feel about it if I heard them all the time, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the first time I heard a rooster like for real, I was in Ethiopia on a photo shoot in the middle of nowhere and to zip in and out of all the various different tents within tents that I had to keep away from the mosquitoes and what out, whatever else I'm afraid of the nature.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I heard the rooster and I had that cartoon image of a rooster. Like every time you hear a rooster, it means that they've seen the sun. So it's time to get up. I'm like, well, it's time to get up. And it took me forever to zip and unzip and zip, zip, zip, and put on my boots and everything and zip. So nothing gets into my tent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I walked out after all that effort, I'm like, it's pitch black out here. What is the rooster talking about? I looked at my watch. I'm like, oh my God, it's two in the morning. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> waiting to go well-played </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Any other housekeeping before we start, are we ready to go </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> ready to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> rock and roll?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. We and our lovely daughters are here. Elle and Allegra are here ready to bake everybody. We're going to make and break bread together. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> want to make, we should start a, I get on that shake and bake marketing, but make it make and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> break. There's a new podcast </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and break.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:02]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Perfect. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Our last show, we were talking about bridging the gaps with food and how food not only brings back memory, maybe the latent memory we didn't even know was there. If we can't get answers from our ancestors, from our great grandparents or parents, if we can't understand why we do what we do, how our ceremonies are brought about, where do things come from?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">This is what I discovered. If we get into the food and the preparation of food and how we do things and how we use certain spices or certain ingredients and why, and what's the meaning of this. I think that innate memory comes back to us by osmosis.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, it will just get translated to you. It's not the word, osmosis </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> water or semipermeable memory, of course. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But like I say it that way, because I had such a hard time in high school, like I would study study, study, and it would still get like a D or D minus. I never understood, like what, what is it? And then, and then, so I had another friend who is an artist like me and she was having the same trouble and we would cry, like, what's wrong with us?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're studying. And these other guys don't even study and they get A's and so my friend said, I wish I had what they had because they must have some sort of osmosis happening. And ever since then, I'm like, yeah, OSMOSIS. Like we can just touch a book and we just understand</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">how to answer a questions on a quiz or a test, but anyway, I digress. So it's about the bridging of the gaps and, and how food is really our connector and that food, I love the way you said this last time, Joey, that food has become kind of like a destination thing. We were talking about Chinese food.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We were talking about how in school we would get ridiculed or teased or bullied because of our different choice of food in our lunch bags. . They would make fun of us. And then Joey, you were saying last time that, part of you doesn't even want to share your food now, now that everybody's like into trying different types of food. By the way, are you hearing our Kettle? Sorry about that. You're going to hear all kinds of kitchen noise today. In the background. So we were talking about, yeah, initially we may feel like that, but once we work through it, we will be at a table again, sharing recipes, stories, scents, tastes and really coming back to understanding each other again and having that connection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's key that is key to friendship. It's also key to having a healthier, that is such a loud tea kettle. Having a healthier society. One where we can understand one </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">another.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I think, I don't know if we were recording at this point, but we were talking a little bit earlier in this conversation about understanding and progress.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's also a key to progress. Right? We have to, sometimes I, like I said, it in terms of like, I'm sort of a spiteful new Yorker and I'm like, no, this is mine now. You didn't want it before you can't have it now. Right. But perhaps getting past that within reason, you know, uh, and breaking bread, as we say is a key to progress.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. More on the breaking bread. It's really interesting how throughout all cultures, if I'm correct, all cultures break bread, because the last time Matt, you were talking about the Bible and the Christian and Jesus, you know, the sharing, but I was saying, Hey, you know, on Shabbat Jewish people break bread, we have challah , which is this beautiful braided egg bread. Breaking bread regardless of where you're from for everyone, it is a spiritual ceremony done to connect, to welcome and to honor and that's what we're going to do today with the Gata bread, the Gata bread. Uh, you guys, I remember having this as a Persian kid because, you know, Persian Armenians, I always felt this, brotherhood sisterhood. So I loved the God of bread. It is this beautiful, sweet bread. And it's gorgeous to there was this one woman who found that these stamps go back, millennium, millenniums. How do you say it? Many millennia millennia, millennia.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you. People usually think that bread, the baking bread came about like 10,000 years ago. Like archeologists are like, oh yeah, it's 10,000 years old. Well, this one woman archeologist, uh, her name guys. I'm going to mispronounce it. Bear with me and apologies in advance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, apologies major in advance. It's Amaia Arranz-Otaegui. This is how you spell her name. A M a I a and her last name, her family name is Arranz-Otaegui mispronouncing it again. Please forgive me. But the spelling is a R R a N Z dash O T a E G U I. She's an archeologist. She found breadcrumbs that are much, much older than the 10,000 years.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Previous archeologists have said, oh yeah, the bread is 10,000 years. She found you guys like, like crumbs that you find in a toaster. She found crumbs that go back 4,000 years before, so 14,000 years. But here's the thing when you were really trying to read as much about Armenian culture as possible, I've found that, Armenians, first of all, Armenians have been considering bread as a sacred food for centuries, starting from this second millennium BC. And they're the sweetest bread is this God of bread that we're making today. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> You know, it's interesting. We also have a braided sweet bread, like Challah. Choereg I think it's, I don't know how to pronounce it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. It's like a sweet Easter bread and I believe sometimes it's braided in, sometimes it's not, but yeah. Very similar to, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Challah Challah . Yeah, absolutely. And it's interesting about the braiding and the stamping, because these are such ceremonial breads, everything means something like these stamps were meant to designate who the bread was going to or what family it was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the more the speaking of the Gata bread, that the more elaborate the designs that the more significant the ceremony or the relationship that people had that were making the bread or the bread was made for. It's really interesting. And so are you going to decorate yours today? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I was thinking of, I don't have one of those stamps, but I was thinking of using the fork, you know, at the end, when it's all put together and just making a design on it as best I can, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have been making our own stamps, but they're in the form of rings but those are packed away because I've, I'm always like let's move and I pack everything so packed away. I can't use them, but I think we can just draw our own and yeah. By the way, by the way, so,Amai a, she's from Denmark, the archeologist, I'm talking about the one who found the crumbs, you know, they also found, so we're using you and I are using Einkorn flour.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Last time I mentioned, when you asked what kind of flour should we use? And I'm like, really all purpose flour will do really, or any kind of flour, but we use Einkorn. And guess what guys, when she found this crumb, they found Einkorn</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> . Einkorn is an ancient grain. It is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And know we know that, but like, wow, there it is like major ancient, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> except for can't you literally hear the snarky archeologist who thinks that it's newer than that going, oh, well it must not have been bread.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It must've been a bread topping on a key show or something. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm saying that, but listen to this. They found major sophisticated cooking and baking techniques and that they that's how they found the Einkorn mixed with the roots of club rush tubers it's a type of flowering plants. And then they also found wild mustard seeds scattered around the flavor. Of course. Yeah. But yeah, you say of course, by like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm smug like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that, ,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we're talking about stone age, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and we're talking about, I mean, we always talk about, oh my God, the trade route and the spice route. And that's when spice came into the world. Um, no, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> um, I'm also thinking about what the brewers probably thought about Einkorn and all these other things and how sophisticated beers were in that era. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:24]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I think a lot about beer when we're talking, you know, the history of beer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When we talk about stuff like this, it was really quiet. You know, how old beer is, what it was made with even the accidental fermentations and stuff like that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And Joey, you brew your own beer. Right? Amazing. So, okay. Breaking bread: to break bread means to have a meal with someone. I found this quote and someone said it comes from the Bible, but I don't know the language doesn't seem, cause I have this quote over here, but it doesn't seem like biblical language.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It seems like models, but here in quotes, it's hard to remain enemies when you've broken bread together. Unquote and yeah, of course we talked about that train ride. Where w the racist people were yelling at the kid, remember from our last show you're talking about. Yeah. And, and so I found myself being the only non-white person on this train filled with people that were hating on Africa and anyone non-white.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so then I started to pass out cookies and everyone then was friendly, you know? Right. Okay, good. So this reminds me of that, but, uh, it's more than sharing food. It's about coming together despite the past. It's about bridging the gaps. It's about connecting the hearts, the stomachs and the stories, you know, and in Persian culture, when we talk about the heart, we talk about the stomach.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, a term for I'm homesick or my, my heart is feeling pain emotionally. We say my stomach is tight. So it's interesting how different cultures will have different areas of the body where in like the American culture, we go for the heart. Right. I think, well, a lot of cultures talk about the heart Corazon, you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">To combine all of that, the heart, the stomach, bringing the stories together, becoming whole, like whole one through all that nourishes us, all that nourishment, that's what it means, the breaking bread. I think breaking bread for me is a way to break the resistance and the not knowing of our stories.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When we break bread, when we sit at a table together, it brings about conversation. And even if we're not talking, the sharing of a meal, the sharing of something that you're tasting, you're feeling the scent of; you're smelling. All those senses come back to us. The latent stories we're searching for, that's when it all comes back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And especially since we have friends at the table and we're sitting around one another and experiencing these tastes together, I think that through our collective consciousness, we can make sense out of life. We can figure things out and we can understand better. You know, you guys know what I'm talking about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> 100%.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I do. And I think, you know, I don't really put this stuff together. Maybe that's maybe that's a little bit everyone these days. It's not until someone says something that it really clicks in my brain. I'm like, yeah. You know, Y that makes a lot of sense. And why doesn't it make a lot of sense to more people?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I think, you know, it's something that I don't know if it's a generational thing or if it's obviously life gets very busy and people start renovating houses or start having kids. And, and it's easy to like make a quick meal and just eat and get on with the day. But something that I've started considering more lately, and especially with like a Fawn, you recommended Taste the Nation show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. And I think shows like that, do this kind of thing really well, where it's very interesting and you're like, you meet people from all over and, get introduced to their foods and what the food means to their culture, but it really allows you to see how to think about food and everything. And I like you can sit down and what the food means and really think about it and have this bread breaking opportunity, which is such a familial personal thing between people, but also between people and the food.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's very important and you don't like don't watch. Well watch whatever you want, but I don't like, I'm not a big fan of like the kitchen angry drama, reality, you know, I can't stand </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that stuff. Always have war in the title. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Which is why I love, maybe I talked about this on the last episode, but it's why I love great British baking show because it's such a nice show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I really, really don't like competition shows. It's just me. I just don't like competition shows, but that show, it's just really nice to see nice people, but with something like Taste the Nation and other shows like that, where people are going around to other people and being introduced to the culture and the food makes it so much more personal, you know, and so much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, and just inspires me to just sit down and have a meal and enjoy the meal and think about the food and what it means and where it came from and have that interaction with the food, as well as the people that I'm breaking bread with or breaking lamb with or whatever it is, absolutely coffee. Like we could just, I could just go on and on about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I love this topic and yeah. Have you noticed how there's so much noise and anger and they do use the word war a lot, the war of cupcake cupcake wars, or, you know, and it's really interesting because years ago when Martha Stewart was showing what was up, like when she was cooking, it was so relaxing to watch. There wasn't all this noise to gain attention of someone. It was just calm. One of our friends, a teacher, she taught kindergarten and first grade in Los Angeles in neighborhoods that were going through so much turmoil and violence. And these kids, guess what their favorite kind of thing was to watch on TV, Martha Stewart, a cooking show that was very calm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Because it does talk about everything that we're talking about today, that connection it's that sense of peace. And it's the sense of nourishment just calm and peaceful. When you have food around it, shouldn't be about noise and hurry, hurry, hurry. And who's the best at this,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and the competition. When you have food around, it's a signal to you in so many ways that all is well, we have food here. It is safe enough for us to bake or cook something right now, because we're not on the run. We can just come to the very moments that exist right now and have everything immersed, all your senses immersed in this one particular thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's so meditative. Young kids know that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">One of my favorite shows for some reason is Family Feud. Like I just, it's the only, we're totally obsessed, but I don't like competition.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt knows. And I didn't know what a Chewbacca was, but like when Matt and I first met. Um, our friend, our friend and Matt called me Chewbacca. And you, you, you actually called me a Wookie and then I got angry, even more angrier than I was, because I thought you guys were calling me a rookie. I didn't know what a Wookie was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, how dare you. I'm not a rookie. I have experienced. You explained what a Wookie was the character that if they lose they'll, they'll take your arm off because I don't like competition games. I feel all the injustices in the world when I play even monopoly, I can't do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can't, I can't to lose for me, I feel all the injustices, not just the ones that my culture has felt, but like everybody else's. And especially if I'm playing, forgive me for sounding so racist, but especially when I'm playing with white people, I can't, I want to destroy everything around me if I'm losing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then if I'm winning, it's even worse probably because, I'll stand up and like, you know, Beat my chest and go, "I WIN!"You hear that, "I won! I won!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Good winner. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's not pretty, so I don't like to play games, but have you noticed going back to family feud, Matt's like, Hey guys, let's look at the original Family Feud from the seventies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we looked at that, we're like, first of all, we were totally disgusted by the host </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Richard Dawson</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and how he would practically be French kissing every single person, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> every single woman. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes, woman. And they were subjected to that forceful kiss. It was it's disgusting. Also another thing that I didn't like was the, the muted colors of the 1970s and it was boring.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was like, I was not engaged. I'm like, Ugh, I don't like family feud now, but it's because the family feud now is much glitzier and more colorful. It's more respectful towards women, but it's, It's flashier and it's more engaging because there's more color and more sound. But having said that, I don't appreciate all that sound in all these cooking shows and all the competition that we feel in life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, why is that necessary? Why are they perpetuating that kind of violence? You know? And then I was watching this other show where they go through the decades, they start from the 1940s and they take this one family. Have you seen this show? You guys, they take this one family and they transform their home depending on what the decade is and what exactly year it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the 19 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, they go through every year and each time the family comes home, something in their home has been transformed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or all of a sudden, maybe they have a dishwasher where they didn't have one before and they make them dress, period. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Period. They have to do everything according to that exact year.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And everyone has to play along with that role. So the woman was always in the kitchen, the men were not allowed to come into the kitchen and help her. She had to make everything start eating and there were no appliances. And then the government told you what to eat. And then you also had rations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so when you go from year to year, you start noticing the mood of the culture and the mood of the society and how tough things were for people especially for women. You see the family dynamic change. As we got more appliances and we got things more easy to obtain things got lighter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like we got, like in the 1950s, things were a little bit lighter, but not for the woman and the 1960s, things changed and you could go out to eat actually in the late fifties you would go out to eat. And the Chinese restaurant was a huge role in that, because you talk about this on your show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think Joey, about how it's in other cooking shows that we, like, they talk about how Chinese food was seen as the cheap food. Right? Yeah. But it shouldn't be that way. It should be honored. And why does it have to be that way? You see how people's relationships change around food and how now we don't even have meals together even as a family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, we didn't definitely before the pandemic, I feel like we were a very strange family because we do everything from scratch. You know, we always laugh because when we talk about the 1940s, I'm like, oh my God. I'm like from the 1940s, because a good portion of my life is in the kitchen. Cause I make everything from scratch, everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I'm always in here and it's hard, but you see how people get so disconnected because now they have so much at their fingertips. There's so much distraction. And even these families that are from modern times, they were like, yeah, I actually miss the connection I had with my daughters in the kitchen because we had bonding time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So once again, it comes back to food and the ceremony of it all and how we gather and how fathers, their roles have changed. Fathers would not be changing diapers like our generation. I think maybe our dads maybe started to change some diapers. Right? When we had kids, Matt and I would fight over who got to change Elle's diaper or Allegra's diaper or who got to carry them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And remember, we would fight about who would carry Elle in the Bjorn? The baby Bjorn. I want to carry it's my turn. And so a dad would never do that. So things are changing. And now, hello, look at us now it's Matt and Joey we're in the kitchen together. We're doing this together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Things are finally getting mixed again in a good way where we can truly sit at the table and cook together and eat together and break bread together. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So we actually going to start, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay. This recipe for the Gata bread is by Andrew Janjigian. I'm going to read the whole thing</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">so we have no surprises. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For the dough, this is what we need. We need 10 ounces of all purpose flour. You and I Matt, are going to useEinkorn flour. 10 ounces is usually two cups plus two tablespoons, 285 grams.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Next is one and a quarter teaspoon of instant yeast. That would be five grams of instant yeast</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">one eighth teaspoon baking soda,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">two teaspoons of salt, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">five ounces, which is 10 tablespoons, 140 grams of unsalted softened butter, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">two ounces, sugar. That's a quarter cup, which is 60 grams, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">five ounces, about two thirds cup, 140 grams of plain Greek yogurt, whole or low fat. We're using vegan yogurt </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and you need one large egg lightly beaten. That would be 55 grams. And so instead of the egg, because we're vegan, we're using three tablespoons of aquafaba, which is the liquid when you cook beans, we're using chickpeas, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Fresh right from outside my door. Is it blue? So pretty? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God, it's so beautiful. So one large for each egg, you need three tablespoons of aquafaba. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now we're going to have filling in this bread. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">This is for the filling. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You need three ounces of walnuts. That's 85 grams, lightly toasted or coarsely chopped, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">two and a half ounces about one half cup. Half cup, 70 grams, all purpose flour,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">two ounces. Again, two ounces would be a quarter cup, 60 grams sugar,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">a quarter teaspoon of salt, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">two ounces, which is four tablespoons or 60 grams of unsalted melted butter, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">two teaspoons vanilla extract. That would be 10 milliliters. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">and then to finish and bake it, we need one large egg lightly beaten with a pinch of salt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So what I do is I take the aquafaba one egg version and I put a little bit of saffron and tumeric to make that yellow color. I beat it and then I brush it with that. Okay. I'm going to read the directions and then we're going to do it our way. Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't panic. Okay. It's going to be fun. So directions:</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">for the dough in a medium bowl, whisk together flour, yeast, baking soda and salt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">In a large bowl using a stiff rubber spatula, vigorously stir butter and sugar together to form a uniform paste, add flour mixture to butter mixture. Wipe out bowl that had the flour mixture. Lightly grease with cooking spray or butter and set aside. Using the spatula followed by hands mix flour and butter mixtures together until even cornmeal like mixture forms.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So about one to two minutes, then you add step two, as you add the yogurt and the egg using spatula followed by hands, stir until stiff, even though forms, about two minutes. Transfer dough to the prepared lightly greased, medium bowl and cover tightly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You guys, what I do is I buy shower caps, you know, those shower caps that you could even get.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you go to a hotel room, I save those. I, I wash them and then I cover the bowls with those shower caps. Okay. So let sit at room temperature for 30 minutes, then transfer to the refrigerator and chill for at least four hours and up to 16 hours. Okay. So we're going to do all this. And then, during the four hours, we're going to take a break, but come back. It'll be like one continuous stream episode.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Okay step three, for the filling you guys for the filling, I'm deviating a little bit because I'm adding dates, walnuts, cardamom, cinnamon, and a little butter. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So step three for the filling. Andrew says in a medium bowl, stir together and walnuts, flour, sugar, and salt, add butter and the vanilla extract and using a rubber spatula stir until the clumpy paste forms and no dry flour remains.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cover and store at room temperature until we're ready to assemble. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Step four, according to Andrew to finish and bake, adjust oven rack to middle position preheat oven to 375 degrees, Fahrenheit in Celsius, that would be 190 Celsius. Transfer dough to clean lightly floured surface and dust top of dough lightly with flour using your hands gently press dough to an even six inch circle. Adding flour to both sides of dough as needed to prevent sticking while pinching closed any major cracks that form. Using a rolling pin roll into a 12 inch circle about quarter inch thick.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Step 5: place filling in center of dough and using clean hands and rubber spatula, spread into an even five inch round desk. Leaving three and a quarter inch border of dough on all sides. Starting at one edge using your hands, fold and pleat dough over filling toward center.. Working your way around like a disk. Pinch and press pleats together to fully enclose filling. Press top of dough, gently to form an even six inch round. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Invert, so seam side is facing down and using a rolling pin gently roll into an even nine inch round. Transfer to a rimmed baking sheet lined with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Step six, we're almost done. Pinch dough around the edge of the Gata between the index finger of one hand and thumb and index finger of the other hand to form decorative points spaced about one inch apart. Brush top and sides evenly with egg wash. Using a fork drag flat, underside, a fork across top to form groove lines in a crisscross pattern spaced about one inch apart.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I guess this is when he's decorating it, and this is when we would use stamps or something, uh, using a toothpick poke eight to 10 evenly spaced holes in top of dough stopping when you reach the failing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Bake until evenly golden brown, 28 to 35 minutes, rotating baking sheet after 20 minutes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Step seven, last step: transfer, baking sheet to wire rack, and cool for at least 20 minutes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then you slice it into wedges and you serve and you enjoy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Let's start, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> um, if I may. Yeah. And you may very well want to edit me first of all, definitely post the, uh, are you going to be posting the recipe on the blog as well as perhaps </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> pictures? So I was going to say that I'm going to be using the unaltered, recipe from Andrew Janjigian on Serious Eats.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there are pictures. Yes. Okay. The recipe, which is very helpful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I will leave links to not only Joey, but to Andrew. As far as following the vegan version that we're doing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, it's all in the transcripts. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's get started.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We need </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> sound appropriately. I have the recipe pulled up on my phone and my phone is being supported upright by a pomegranate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's all very, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yes, it is appropriate. The pomegranate runs deep in our culture, Joey. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yes. Well, it's on the cover of many, a cookbook from that region of the world </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> runs strong in Greece too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There are pomegranates in architecture everywhere. Well, there's, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> there's a hold </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> on. It. There's a famous Greek myth about it and it involves why we have winter. And we have winter because when the daughter of some such goddess was, taken down to H E double hockey sticks, she ate three pomegranate seeds, dunk dunk, and that's why the ancient Greeks believed we had winter, but it was strictly speaking, pomegranate seeds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">God helped me. I love folklore. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:03]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I am putting on my, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> uh, it's lovely, by the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> way, my apron that I got at the Armenian festival that we talked about on the last episode now he's covered in pomegranate decoration. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thanks for reminding me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Um, thanks for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> reminding me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We have a hard time with, uh, like very like intricate or pretty, aprons here because we tend to wear through them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when I say we, of course, I mean my wife on, cause you know, I wear aprons, but yeah, I'm not the one wearing them out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Much like, um, cookbooks. I have an apron fetish. Like I can't get enough aprons. I love them. And I've packed most of them away. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> one specifically that was like commercial it's denim it's yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Very heavy duty. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah, because literally my first, this is my first non let's see, like non what's, the right word. I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> not sure what you're calling functional. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I had an apron, like I used to do welding and stuff like that. So not that kind of, it, this is my first cooking apron. Gotcha. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Nice. Joey. I have, some aprons that I will wear out in public because they are like a, kind of like a Japanese design where it's like a dress that goes all the way around and has deep, deep pockets.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I love it. It's a dress. Oh, how are we going to do this? Oh my gosh.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Flour baking, soda and salt flour. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt, can you take out the use from the fridge it's in the drawer? Yes. Al do you know where the, the yeast is?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You guys actually want to see Joey or start getting crazy </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and say, hi, Joey, Joey, this is all Allegra Allegra here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> How are you doing good. Thanks. That's good. Making some bread with your mom and dad and you too also, I guess we're all in it together. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I guess we are. , anyway, I'm going to give you back to mom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You good? No, it's in a bigger bag. Okay. Sorry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They can't find anything in the kitchen, Joey. I have to go get it. Sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I'll uh, keep the audience entertained. I'm whisking. We're on step one. I guess I'm halfway through step one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:49]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> You know what? We'll, everyone's away for those listening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Go subscribe to Krypton to Alderaan and listen to a few episodes and let me know what you think unless you don't like it. And then I guess don't let me know or whatever you want to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sorry. We're trying to look. We're trying to look for some yeast, sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Minor technical issue. Okay. Okay. So where are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> we at? And I completed half of step one. Nice. I suppose I can move on to the second half of the step. Now I'll wait for you all,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> as things are falling and noises being had. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay, Joey, um, I have the dry in the bowl. Where are you at? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:43]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I have mixed the butter and sugar together to form a uniform paste. And I have whisked together, the flour, yeast, baking soda and salt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Although I haven't added the flour to the butter yet </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> are way ahead of me. So I just, I have not done the butter, but I have put the flour together with the yeast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay, so a little, I have some more, I'm not sure this is not working the way I imagined because our table is so small and there's all this audio equipment and stuff I'm afraid of spilling everywhere. So let's see, how should I do this? Should I have the girls do it Allegra? Can you make the butter mixture?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Joey, how did you do this so fast? I'm going to go do the butter. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:39]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Let me know when you want me to add the flour and the butter together. We'll do that at a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we'll do it together together. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Carry on guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, do you want me to get you a longer microphone? Cord bay? Nope. All right. Fair enough. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:57]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I do, well, go ahead. I was just going to say Matt and anyone else out there listening this coming week , I have an episode, a Krypton to Alderaan episode coming out this week, a one-on-one episode where I talk to someone really about how much star wars means to them and why they take star wars</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">so seriously, you know, it's one of the people in my life who, who does, you know, say star wars is a religious for them, you know, it's and to a lot of us star wars means so much to so many. I mean, I can talk about it. I joke around about it, but it's really, uh, an incredible thing that has permeated pop culture for so long.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And people growing up with it, people identifying with it in different ways, or people unable to identify it, identify with it, or it does not identify with them. So it's, it's a truly complex system and it means so many different things to so many people. So Matt specifically, I'd be interested for you to listen to this next episode and then let me know what you think.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I also think, you know, it's part of what I'm trying to do with my show, which is like introduce other people's perspectives. And so I don't, it it's impossible for me to have had the relationship with star wars that this person has had, but listening to their perspective and understanding it, I think is huge and something that the rest of the fandom would be keen to start </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> doing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And, and I totally get it. I think it probably evolves a lot from when were you first exposed to it and then how much were you exposed to it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I have this horrible, uh, Habit of bringing everything to star wars or bringing Star Wars to everything, but to bring it back to the topic that we're discussing here as part of your podcast and Fawn's podcast, Star Wars for me, the storytelling has become so much about found family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's something that I a couple of years ago didn't connect with. And again, hearing all of these different perspectives has really opened my eyes to it makes me see all the stories in a new way. And I think it's, I've been trying to identify why I connect with those stories so well, whether it's found family in Star Wars or any other, content I consume.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And part of it, I think is like what I talked about on the last episode we all recorded with trying to figure out my family history, trying to figure out my family and trying to identify with being Armenian, you know, everything we discussed on the last episode. And I really think that that's a big part of why I'm connecting with all of these found family stories.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So does this mean that you secretly root for you secretly we're rooting for, uh, Boba to or Django even to destroy the rebel Alliance and the, all the rest of it. Cause there's a, there's a, a family broken </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:07]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> right there. Yeah. And, and it's such a heartbreaking, it's like another thing that people talk about so much these days is like keep politics out of Star Wars, which is insane because Star Wars was founded on politics.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Absolutely. Just don't don't trust </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> big gov, baby. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How does that explain </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that to me, Lucas grew up in this, um, you know, kind of Vietnamish era and he didn't trust big government and you see that happening in the second trilogy where he was given, or he took complete control over everything, but he kept hinting at it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, the last remnants of the old Republic had been swept away is in the first star wars movie. And it just kind of, you can, you can zoom in on it if you want and you can ignore it if you want, but it's right there. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. And, and calling </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> them</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> the politics of war, you know, storm troopers for crying out loud, but, but you know, all the way up to nuance. And I think you can, uh, you can take a lot of world war two Vietnam. You can make a lot of world war II, Vietnam connections to the original trilogy, and you can make a lot of. Uh, recent war, you know, in our world, recent war connections to the sequel trilogy, of course.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think, you know, there's so much of that in every star wars with, and now with Boba Fett and the Jedi, at that point in time where the protectors of the galaxy, but, you know, murdered his father in front of him, right. The clone, you know, he's a clone and they treated the clones, like nothing, they treated the clones, like</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> disposable</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:55]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> expendable soldiers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, there's all that stuff. But I think to go back that that's just a huge connection I make now, again, I, I spoke in our, like, after whatever bonus conversation we had about Leah seeing Alderaan blown up and the genocide committed and then not talking about it. And that being akin to the trauma of genocide, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That generation that goes through genocide and witnesses genocide does not talk about it. Right. For the most part, because it was such a, obviously such a traumatic experience.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It hit me when I was so young, it was just like, I just didn't kind of think about it. And you know, when they say it was like a million voices silenced at once, it's like, no, it wasn't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was billions of voices. Yeah. You know, it's, it's, it's way more but pure escapist entertainment. So let's just ignore that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Oh yeah. I think that that's a big part. Like it's, it's what you can hear me say, Hey, I host a podcast called Krypton to Alderaan, we talk all about nerdy, pop culture stuff, but it's mostly star wars and on its face it's yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Star wars. It's this pop culture, now blockbuster type thing. If you listen to my podcasts or other pod, better podcasts than mine talking about this much better than I can. There's just so much more to it. And it's meant so much to so many people. And it's so much more than I, if, and it's something there truly is just every level of something for everyone, if you want it to be escapism.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Great. That's great. If you want to know deeper meanings about it and what it means to people, or if you want to share the deeper things that it means to you, then that's also great. And let's go for it. If anyone out there wants to talk about star wars in a deep way, reach out and let's have a conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I love hearing what Star Wars means to other people. Absolutely. And by the way, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Not to do this, but to do this, a Stormtrooper Stormtrooper was the name Adolf Hitler gave his troops. They were stormtroopers or, yeah. And on and on and on. And so for Lucas to pick that name, it was very, we want to make sure everybody understood, like, like my father would always say in the first five minutes of star wars, you know who the bad guys are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's pretty simple. You got this guy in all black, who's choking, choking people, they're going after a ship and they're all dressed in armor that you can't tell what they really look like. And on and on and on. It's like, you know who the bad guys are. Right. It's simple. He didn't have to paint you a huge picture about it, or rather he did paint you a huge picture, but it was really fast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you, you got it right away. Yeah. It's like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> no, actually we haven't, uh, hopefully we haven't lost anybody. I promise all of this conversation is related to the other stuff we're talking about here. You know, bigger world, bigger picture stuff, genocide. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, as a non star wars person, as I'm like going crazy in the kitchen right now, I totally get it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If I get it, I think, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> , let's circle back to the baking of bread, the breaking of bread. And let's talk about how </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> can you, can you pause, do not lose your concentrate. Can you hold it, hold it. Can you hold it? You guys, I took a fork and I, I did the butter sugar mixture, and then I added rosewater </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to it, of course, because we had rosewater or rather Fawn adds rose.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then I took the flour mixture that we had set aside and I sprinkled some cardamom and a little cinnamon. And again, I don't measure Matt measures like a crazy scientist </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> back to rosewater cardamom and some </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> cinnamon, well, cardamom finds its way in everything, by the way, rosewater, what we're talking about is food grade.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we're talking about specifically for us. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's it's, um, C O R T a S rosewater, and that's the good stuff and it is the best. Um, it is amazing. I put in tea, I put it in all the pastries I make. I'm put in rice. I, splash it on my forehead when I need extra and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it smells nice. It tastes a little sweet, it tastes sweet and it smells really nice because it smells kind of, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the scent is absolutely beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I just put like a couple of splashes of rosewater into the butter mixture. So now it's a paste of butter sugar and rosewater. And now what we're going to do is take this with a spatula and put it into the flour mixture that we have, incorporating it until you have a full dough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I am adding the flour to the butter </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Have your yogurt ready? So we have five ounces of yogurt and the one large egg. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When we form the dough, we want a clean bowl that is greased. Oh yes. Okay. Um, Joey, how did you do everything so fast? You're way ahead of me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Probably softened </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I had, before we got on the call, I had measured everything out and have a line of bowls here. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I should have done that. I did not</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> all </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">set up with everything in it. Also, speaking of measuring and Fawn, not measuring and Matt measuring. I have these awesome measuring spoons that are for smidgen, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, I love that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It says tad. Well, that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Tad. Let's say tad dash pinch and smidgen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I love it. Oh my God. They're adorable. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I've, I've actually, I've seen similar things for sure. And that's just for, for us pathological folk out there. I wanted to launch into smell, smell for those of you who don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Smell is so connected for memory, especially with us fellows, we remember smells and we may not know exactly where we remember the smells from, but we connect. We oftentimes will connect, smells to emotions. It's a powerful thing. For me, it was like one of the things that attracted me, to my wife was the way she smelled.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There you go. There you go. And I used to, I used to, she claims, I used to smell the top of her head when we were in Aikido, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I would hear him sniffing my head.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Let's from watching all that family feud. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was, it was respectful, breathing. He was, I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you, I got nothing to say folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I had no idea that I loved you yet, but, but I would make sure that I had a certain Aveda product in my hair before coming into Aikido</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but she didn't know she liked me folks know, but anyways, so smell is so powerful. So, Joey, how does your mixture smell so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">far? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> It smells great. It smells like I'm getting a whiff of cinnamon at the moment. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Nice. I have a belief that when I try certain foods that I'll remember, and I don't know if it's me remembering, my life or it's me trying to remember something that I desperately want to or whatever it is, but there, there have been certain foods and certain places that evoke memories that I, I'm not conscious of because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> of the smell.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt, did you finish what you were saying before, before we started talking about the dough? I said, don't. I said, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yeah, that was, that was my thought. So, so far, what do you smell in your, in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> your, I smell rosewater, cardamom, cinnamon and flower. And when I first met you, I could smell our children. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Your scalp reminded me of baby formula. I smell like a baby, but like, those are, see the, those are the innate memories I'm talking about. Like, I could sniff our children from you. Um, and then when Joey and I first had our like heart-to-heart conversation and we were talking about his grandfather, I was like, Joey, can you tell me what you smell when you think of your great-grandfather?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he started to get emotional. And then we, we kind of went off to another topic, but going back to that, Joey, when you think of growing up and when you think of your history, can you try to conjure up scents? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yes. In short, quick aside, have you added the yogurt and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm still, mixing the butter mixture and the flour together. Yeah. Someone needs to read the directions. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> and my childhood, I think it's something I've been thinking about since you first asked me and with my grandfather, who was the Armenian that I grew up with, uh, to reiterate, you know, we didn't talk about it and we didn't have Armenian food. So there was never the smell of that stuff. Cooking. We always had stuffed grape leaves always. So there was always that with some lemon juice and I can taste that, and I know what that smells like. Other than that, there was nothing, but the Italian side of stuff is what I can smell.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I grew up with these people, they were a huge part of my upbringing. And if I think about it, I can smell the smells of that Italian matriarch kitchen. Right. And yeah, it's just an incredible emotional response. And it's great because I loved those people and I loved the food and I love good Italian food and I can smell the smells and the smells we're just in the house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. That stuff becomes part of the house. Right. And, but, so it's a great memory. It's also a little sad because I don't have that with the Armenian side of things. I'm making that now, I guess like when I'm making any of the recipes from these Armenian cookbooks and using these spices. I'm making those connections now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> In a romanticized world, I want to say that, at some point you'll go encounter, you'll make you'll and it'll bring strange memories or to bring strange thoughts into your head. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:50]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> You know, if we ever get out of COVID </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes indeed, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> maybe a group of us should go down to Denver.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If y'all are into that. Because there is apparently an Armenian bakery down in Denver, or I could go and then bring stuff up to Boulder. But, uh, Laurel, I went there for me when she was down in Denver. Once I have not been there, but I'd love to go in and smell the smells and talk to people and stuff. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. I could, I could totally see.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, one of our listeners was telling me that she's from Texas. When she heard us talking about the scents and the spices, she's like, I need to get more.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So she was on her way. She told me she emailed me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> A variety of sumac also grows wild in my hometown, in New York. wow. I'm definitely going to go and harvest some this summer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And this is definitely not poison Sumach, which is apparently it's strange non don't even think about eating kind of a thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I grew up thinking it was poison sumac and I think that's a common thought in that town or in that area. It turns out that it's not, and it's delicious and it's you, my friends own a winery in the town and they make this soda with it. It's just really good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> wow. I could, I could totally see that. Yeah. sumac on your rice is definitely one of those staples, I think in our, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> um, well, I'm just going to say meat. We don't eat me, but like you sprinkle it over a kebab, you know, like we make vegan versions, but like over meat, chicken, beef, you sprinkle </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> eggs the other morning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's just good on everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. But don't see, like, I don't like cooking it like all, oh, you know, only raw when the food is done, you sprinkle it on top. You guys, I missed everything. Did I, am I doing this right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> So did you add the yogurt and the eggs? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, I took, I took the quote unquote egg mixture and put it into, the yogurt mixed it up and then I put it into the dough mixture.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> All right. I'm going to do that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> now. It seems really wet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:08]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we haven't, you haven't done the flower yet, right? It's in the flour. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is sweet. I don't know if I did it wrong guys. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Let me see. His picture looks like. a dough like not super wet, but let me see what happens when I, um, I meant to bring this up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The whole reason I bought sumac in the first place was to make muhammara </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> explain what that is. Joey, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> do you know what it is, Fawn? It's a Syrian roasted red pepper spread like a hummus, but made no chickpeas it's made with roasted red pepper. Yeah. So it's roasted red pepper, sumac, Sumach, a bread crumbs, various spices.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is in incredible. The first time I had it, I just like ha it was, it was an experience like I'm sure that there were stars in my eyes. It was the greatest thing I ever tasted. I went to the place. There was, I worked in Albany, New York and there was this little bodega deli kind of thing with, I believe they were an Armenian and older Armenian couple.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she, the wife made, makes this muhammara. They make incredible food there. And I loved it so much that I went back to tell her that it was the greatest thing that's ever passed my lips. So listeners look up a recipe. Don't roast the peppers I would, or do whatever. I tried both. I roasted my own peppers and then I made it with jarred roasted red peppers and the jarred stuff came out better, but it's delicious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's incredible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay guys. Oh, first of all, I didn't answer your question. And Joey, I would love to take a trip to Denver with you. Oops. That sounds lovely. You know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> don't want to go to Denver. Sorry, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> neither. Oh, we don't. We don't. Okay. So Joey with us, like we grew up in the city. I grew up in the city and then we moved when we got married, we moved to a small town, like far away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then we moved closer to the city again, lived on an island across from Seattle. And every time we have to go back to Seattle, or if I had, I had photo shoots in Seattle, it was like, it was a whole other animal. Like I'm like, how did I ever survive in a city it's so fast and people are weird. And they, even their way their heads turn or everything is like super fast forward. and when you would get off the ferry, like sheep or water, people would surround your car. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to hit them. Why are they so close to me? Like, it's bizarre. I felt like a city person. And then when we moved to out in the country, I'm like, oh my God, I'm not a country person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I thought I would be. And then when we moved closer to the city, I'm like, I'm not a city person. I don't even know what we are. So like going to Denver terrifies me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. We </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> have our, like we had, I suppose, now that we've been sequester for so long, we've had our spots that we would go to in Denver, but that was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But getting </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> there was like, Ooh, getting there. So you just kind of close your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> eyes and you go, and then, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, on the freeway, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I would close my eyes while driving on the freeway. No problem. Just okay. We're going to get there. We're going to get there. Yeah, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He's your dough sticky. It, mine is really sticky.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Okay. Um, all right. So what we're going to do now is now that we've added the egg and everything, it says add yogurt and stir,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">stir until stiff, and then you transfer the dough to a lightly greased bowl. And then we're going to let that sit at room temperature for 30 minutes. How are we going to work this out? Should we have two episodes because you guys have good conversation while we're waiting or should we cut it off and then come back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do you guys want to do? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Should we make the, should we put this aside and make the filling? And then, yeah, that's a great idea. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's very smart. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So you guys, can you talk while I take the headset off my head and I'm going to find a way to transfer all this stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So what we're going to do is you're going to put it in a bowl for 30 minutes. And then after that, you're going to take this dough mixture and chill it for four hours or up to 16 hours. So let's, let's put this dough away, do that. And then we'll come back and do the filling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you guys carry on while I take, I'm just going to clean these bowls and put the dough away. Okay? Okay. All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm going to step away and take care of these quick.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We're going to be working on the filling and we're going to be toasting some walnuts or rather of course, I'm just sitting here. I'm just watching everything get orchestrated around me. This is truly awesome. It's truly awesome. And yes, it is generally new. Although for the folks at home, I do contribute by, , cleaning, doing dishes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I was I'm just, was going to get ready to toast some walnuts. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. And our youngest is theoretically doing the same. Yes, she is so perfect. I don't know if you can hear the mini prep. Fawn is grinding up some dates and about 87 different spices.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No doubt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I'm going to cut up some dates. I'm going to add dates as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good to hear that. Could you hear all that wrestling? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can hear it. I hear wrestling. It wasn't the raw violence I think we have here with the mini prep, but yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm going to explain what I'm doing. And second </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> she'll explain it. No doubt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Maybe I should use a machine for this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> just a little bit. You smell that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> smelling those walnuts </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> oil from the walnuts came out. So we like up, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The smell of the walnuts has come out and so we've kind of woken them up and that's what kind of ethic what toasting does. And also, you know, it adds certainly that crunchiness to it. And, and honestly, when you think about like historically breads, I think once you start moving into G beyond the quote unquote simple loaf of bread and you start working on adding things to it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Certainly first is going to be your spices, maybe your mustard, your Sesame seeds, your Rosemary, your et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But then once you move past, I think that aspect of things and move into more fillings, then you definitely start looking at the nut family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Guys, I'm back and I'm covered with all kinds of spices Guys . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> What spices did you use, Fawn? I'm going to try to mimic. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I toasted the walnuts and then, I took like a cup of dates, maybe a cup and a half of dates pitted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had washed them. I just, because I was feeling rushed, I put them in the mini prep. So if you heard me zipping zips, that was, the dates. I could not make a paste with the dates, but just break them up a little bit. I love majool. Dates. They're amazing. I can, I can speak a whole day on the benefits, the health benefits of the date on another show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I added in the butter and coconut sugar, and I use just a little bit less than what Andrew recommended, because of all the dates that I'm putting in there, it should be really sweet. I shouldn't have had any sugar actually in there, but I panicked and I just put stuff in. As far as spices, I use my hands, by the way, I'm assuming maybe, um, two tablespoons, two and a half tablespoons of cardamom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Same with cinnamon . And then I poured more of the rosewater in. Sometimes along with these spices, I'll also put in nutmeg and I may do that right now. Actually. I'm going to,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> there it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, it's already ground. You don't have to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> grate it. Right. Save a few seconds of time. So they're just, just like a little pinch of nutmeg is really powerful and I smell that. Yep. Thank you. So now I'm going to mix it into a paste, the butter, the fun part. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm using a fork and I'm mixing everything all together and it smells delicious. Smell that. All </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:17:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:17:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Ooh, that is a nice smell. Sweet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:17:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, the word smell freaks me out scent the scent is lovely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:17:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Okay. So I'm a little behind you. I've got the walnuts and the spices, and then now I'm adding the sugar and the flour and the salt</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">seems like a lot of sugar. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:17:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I know, like, um, what's supposed to be sweet. Yeah. But like, if we're using dates like I did, you really don't need the sugar. I don't know why I did that. Doesn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:17:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sugar and yeast interact and like give off lots of air, air bubbles.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:17:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It helps the yeast grow, but this is the filling that this is not mixing with the dough. The dough is sitting there rising as we speak. And this, this mixture for me. Joey is starting to look, , perfect. I could just spread this on toast or something. It's beautiful. You can probably taste it. One of the wonderful things about being, vegan is we don't have to worry about salmonella so we can always taste cookie batter and cake batter corn </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:18:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> growing up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:18:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> anyways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. I've been doing that the whole time. Anyway. That's pretty safe. Especially with like our home eggs. I think a lot of it came like came from the shell. You know, the sh the eggshells were dirty. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I haven't melted the butter in the pan that I toasted the walnuts in every last good place, Joey. Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:18:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">she tried it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:18:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm telling you. I swear. I just taste the filling. It took me back to childhood. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:18:50]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> So I was going to ask Fawn. Did you, you know, growing up, you asked me about smells and, and that connection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm very curious because I'm trying to connect to all of this stuff. Now, I want to ask you the same question, like baking bread, learning how to cook this stuff, learning these spices, growing up with all of it. Teach me about it. What </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:19:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do you mean? Oops, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:19:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> teach me your feelings. Like, tell me about what the smells do for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, and growing up with that, like I grew up smelling the Italian food. I want to know a similar story </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:19:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> from you. Okay. For me, rosewater is key, which is probably why I put rosewater and everything. It reminds me of my grandmother and I was always an outcast in my family and an outcast in life and in my profession as well, it kind of carry it on, but the rose water and the connection to my grandmother, even though like her attention was taken by all the other relatives and cousins and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had the silent communication with her, and I remember in Iran she would go to temple. And when she came back, she would bring back in her handkerchief, like when you go to church and you get bread or the wafers, I don't know, whatever you would get in church, she would come back from temple with these rice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, okay. So it was a rice covered in. Sugar and rosewater. So it's a grain of rice and you would like, and then, because it's covered, it's like a little candy, but that's what it was, would be given out at the temple. And she always had the scent of rose water on her and she was a very religious woman. She was always at temple.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No one else in the family really was. She was the only one there that, I mean, from my tiny, tiny little perspective, that's what I remember. And that's what I remember is that, , the scent of saffron saffron, again, like rosewater in everything we make, , saffron with, we put poured into a rice and to tea, everything, and then mixing rosewater with saffron.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And maybe some honey is what I remember because baklava baklava, like that's, that's the syrup that you would pour on was saffron water rosewater, honey. That mixture would be glazed and drenched. The pastry would be soaking all that. And of course, cardamom was mixed in there. I forgot to mention that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So cardamom, rosewater, saffron. Honey. And in our case now it's maple syrup, that reminds me of celebration because Persians celebrate everything and they have get togethers every week. And I'm sure like, this is another reason why I love so many other cultures, like anything similar. I'm like, oh my family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So a lot of the Latin cultures that have dinners together, right. That's what it reminds me of. And so all those scents coming together, the scent of rice also when you're cooking rice and I'm not talking about uncle Ben, I'm talking about taking the rice and cooking it the old fashioned way, which is what we do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We rinse the rice and then we par boil the rice and then we cook, we bake it or we cook it over the stove. And so that scent of rice is so calming and nourishing and peaceful for me. I could smell it on people's skin. Like I remember trying to smell my mom's, upper arm, as a little tiny toddler.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I remember her freaking out, like, what are you doing? Get away, you know, typical. But I was trying, I was trying to experience her as a person for me smelling and hearing and touching. Gives me information that may not be expressed in words, but I can understand through those senses. And so ever since I became a mom and even a little bit before that, when Matt and I got married, I took those scents and I reclaimed them because like I said, I was always ostracized from my family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, my family wasn't the best. So all those things I re reclaimed and ever since Elle and Allegra came into the world, I have taken those ingredients and together the three of us, I mean, Matt too, but Matt gets shooed away from the kitchen because we're like three whirling dervishes in the kitchen. So he's like, he's so tall, like six, four, he's like a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:23:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> giant </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm always stripping over somebody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> then, you know, we don't want to get into any fights. So like, he'll like kind of step aside and maybe do some dishes, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:23:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and eat </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:23:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and, and, and yes, taste test, which is a big part of our ceremony. Like when we do a cake, when we bake a cake or we bake anything, we always taste it's part of the ceremony before it goes into the oven.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, so if that answers your question, we, I I've reclaimed it with Elle and Allegra; taking all these things that I remember from childhood. And starting a whole new circle, a whole new ceremony. And oddly enough, I say whole new ceremony, but it's really the more I read and the more I study, I'm like, oh my God, I've done it the old way without being taught because it's, it's a natural muscle response in my hands and my fingers, the amount of cardamom I'll, I'll take from a jar and where I choose to put these spices in, you know, I'm purely operating from a sense of instinct.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then when I read, I'm like, oh my God, that's how they did it. You know, does that answer your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:25:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> question? It does. Yeah, no, I think it's really good insight into it all. You know what we're trying to do here? Because you and I and Matt have such different histories, you know, like you grow up in the Persian culture, you know, with, or with at least with the, in the Persian culture and with the food.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm trying to find that now, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:25:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> totally. And what I love is you are now our family, the fact that we're baking this beautiful Armenian ceremony bread. The fact that we're having these conversations, Joey, the fact that I know that you are sensitive to my culture and I am deeply sensitive and in love with your culture, we are forever family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's a reunion. Really? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:25:50]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. Yes. And I love that. And I think, you know, going back to something we were discussing earlier, like the whole event of breaking bread; making bread, breaking bread, having meals together, what that's become, but what it has the potential to be; this again, very personal connected thing. We can go out to restaurants with people and we sit around and eat. And there's not really a consciousness about it a lot of the times. But if you can just perceive it as maybe this more personal connected thing, even whether you're sitting in your kitchen dining room, or if you're in an area where you can be out at a restaurant and be safe in times of a global pandemic, having that opportunity to sit with people and eat and experience all of it, the food that food was created by somebody who has this certain connection with it, the people that you're eating it with and their connection with it, your connection with the people that you're eating it with, all of it. It's something so important to be conscious of. Sometimes like don't put the burden, don't make the burden of it being conscious of it all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And like having it, having to think about it, like, don't make it a burden obviously, but there's just something so... I just really love food. This is all coming from a place of that. But you know, the more I delve into my Armenian roots, I'm reading these books, I'm getting more connected with the culture and just understanding that these things mean things to people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean, perspectives of other people, perspectives, memories of the scent, all, all of it coming together, to just like being made into a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">meal. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:27:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. And there was such wisdom in that there's so much profound wisdom in ways that we can't even imagine that comes alive in doing that. And you know, you use the word burden.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I know Matt, you wanted to say something, I'm sorry, but I'm going to jump in there. you used the word burden. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">As soon as Matt and I got together, that's when the love of preparing meals to nourish in many ways came to be for me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I would look at people, women, especially who considered cooking, a thing that they turned their noses up at. And I started to look at the messages in our society where like commercials came on the saying that, , I refuse to wash dishes. Um, I just use paper plates as like a thing to be proud of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, oh my God. So look at all that waste that you were going to put in the landfill. It's so disrespectful, but what's wrong with doing dishes what's wrong with taking care of your home. It's a ceremonial beautiful thing to do. And then I was, I would hear women who would find out how much I cook and they would look down at me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, because I'm going back in time and going against women's lib or something, you know, and, and looking at history and seeing how much women had to be working in the kitchen. And they were so shut away from the rest of the family and all of the social aspects, because they were always preparing meals as like a life sentence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It was like jail or being punished because it was grueling work. Yes. But really, I mean, looking at the American culture, the woman was by herself in the kitchen, where was the village? Where were the grandmothers and the great-grandmothers and the sisters and the people from the village, like coming together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's how it used to be, what happened to make us so isolated. I think about that and I think about the burden, it's like, really, it's not a burden It is, it is a vital part of ceremony and a vital part of life and a vital part of health. To make things easier, we have all these processed foods and frozen dinners and TV dinners, like all these things that came into our culture, I think was part of the beginning of separating us from one another and even going out to a restaurant and not really seeing who is serving you, makes me sad. The whole thing of not cooking and it's your right to not cook makes me sad. We bought this huge table, Joey. It's huge; when we got married ,for all of our friends to come together and to have conversations every night with a whole bunch of people, with music, with art, everything discussions about politics, about life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we haven't had that in years, you know, and we're still keeping the faith, like keeping the table, like it will come one day and it starting with us, Joey, we're doing it through zoom. I mean, who would have thought, look, you're at our table. Mind you, this table is a toddler table. But we're doing it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we're starting and our friends, listening to us, get it. We're getting it. Yup. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:31:03]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yup. You're here with me in my new kitchen. I love </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:31:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> your kitchen. You got </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:31:08]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> gutted and rebuilt by myself. So it's also a very personal, it's also a very personal experience for me. You know, I've never done anything like this before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And. Can't don't really have people over to exist in this space, this personal food making space that, Loralai and I, my partner and I created together. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:31:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">beautiful. Did you have experience with carpentry? Cause I mean, it looks so modern and gorgeous </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:31:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> and everything on the fly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:31:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's that is crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But see that's what I'm talking about. That's innate, that's, that's the latent knowledge that comes about when you pick up a tool or you pick up a spice, look at what Joey did. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:31:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And he was definitely showing it off folks. He was showing off the what do you call that? The oven </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">hood. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:32:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yup. Vent hood through, put that up there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:32:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt and I, it took us two and a half hours to hang a mirror. When we first bought our house. It was not that heavy, but after two and a half hours, we still didn't do it. Right. And we were scared to Joey. Cause we had just bought this house. This is the house we lost by the way. Nice. But nice open show. Oh my God, Joey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is my style. Oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Joey, those shelves. I love, I love things being out in the open. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:32:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. It's really nice. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:32:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We like to show off our spices. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:32:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Here's my I'd love for them to be out in the open, but that's the spice in there. Then there on the bottom is my little, uh, you can't point on zoom, but anyway, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:32:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> got it. I see it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:32:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> It's nice. It's a nice space, but it's, you know, now a very personal, my blood, sweat, and literal tears went into this space. So it's nice to have people in it and experiencing all of this together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:33:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's gorgeous. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:33:08]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I just want the spices that you have Fawn in the amount and all of that space to have it and space to show it off. And you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:33:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> know, when you go to the actual mom and pop stores that are of that culture, you don't buy spices in one ounce containers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They give you like a pound in a bag. Yeah. So that's how you get these spices. You go to the actual cultural store and you just get them. And then you go to like a grocery store and you get those big Mason jars and you fill them up and you create a wall, an apothecary if you will, of these gorgeous ingredients.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I think it's about 30 minutes that that dough has been resting, put it in the fridge for four hours. And then let's just talk about what we're going to do when it comes out of the fridge. I'm going to turn it into a ball, into a disc, roll it out </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:34:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> You make a 12 inch diameter, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:34:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Make sure there are no cracks; a perfect round circle without any cracks. Kind of like when you're making pie dough, the one that you're going to put on top of the pie, then you're going to take the filling that we made, put it in the middle. So that will take up five to six inches and then you take the dough and you fold it over and have the circle, the outer circle meet in the center. So you can pinch the dope closed with the filling inside. Does that make sense, Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:34:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What I'm saying? You wouldn't be able to see the filling when you put it in the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:34:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> oven.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you want to create like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:34:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> a dumpling. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:34:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. And then, you're flouring, both sides and you take the pinched side and you put that on the bottom and then you roll it out,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:34:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> even bigger than 12 </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:35:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> inches. No, it's not 12 inches anymore because you closed it, you closed it up and you just, you don't do it enough to get to the filling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So roll it gently to just make it, make it more uniform. And you also seal up the bottom and then that's when you pinch the sides, make your own design stamp it. And then we're going to take the egg mixture that we had. So in our case, so you'd take one egg for brushing and you brush it. For us vegans, what we're going to do is take three tablespoons of aquafaba, mix a little bit of saffron water just a little bit, and you take like a few strands of saffron, crush it up in the Palm of your hands and put it into warm water.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let that sit. And so pour a little bit of that into the egg wash. I would add just a few drops of rose water to that, and just a little tiny bit of, um, why do I always blank out on it? Every time I say saffron, I always forget tumeric just a little bit for extra golden color. Whisk that up together</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and with a pastry brush brush the top of this bread, and then start designing. If you have stamps, you want to put on, gently put the stamps on. Sometimes we take a paring knife and we make designs with it. And don't forget to poke the holes in it, with a toothpick or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:36:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> something, draw on the top of it with the toothpick and then poke the holes in it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think I'll do the, uh, saffron water mixed in with the egg wash as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Perfect. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:36:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And a little bit of the rosewater, or if you don't have rose water yet just to take a, like a sprinkle of cardamom even, right. And then just brush it on. Four hours in the fridge </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:36:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> and then, and then we'll be back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How long do we bake it for. 30 minutes. I think, you know, it's different. It's different up here. It's going to be, it's different, lower temperature for longer here at 7,200 feet above the ocean. So that's the way I'll do it. So it'll take a little bit longer for me. I will say the phone is you're reading through this and we're going through it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am finding that the pictures on, Janjigian's recipe on serious eats do a lot of service. So anyone listening who wants to make this, even if you're doing the vegan version or some other version, go look at the Serious Eats recipe for GATA because he has step-by-step pictures on what Fawn was describing as far as rolling the dough out and then folding it all up into its dumpling, like container there's like nine pictures showing that process.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So very helpful for me. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:37:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Totally. And the pictures are really pretty. We're going to stick it in the fridge, take it out. We're going to bake it. And again, at word high-altitude also, but about 2000 feet lower than Joey, where at what? 6,000 feet close to a mile up. So put it in the oven.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I always, you know, much like I don't like measuring. I also don't like precise timing with the oven because every oven is different. So I use my my sense skills. When I start smelling it, yes, it's like, it talks to you. It says, okay, I'm about ready. So when you start smelling it in the house or in the kitchen, you're like, okay, that's it talking to you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you'd go to it. You take a look at it, don't open the oven, but just like, take a look at it. You can sense it, let it tell you what it needs. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:38:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. But with that said, I always set a timer just in case it gets forgotten because sometimes the kitchen gets chaotic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">.And it's, it's good to be reminded.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh yeah, that's .Right, I have a blah, blah, blah, blah. In the oven. And it could be in a dire state. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:38:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So, until evenly golden brown, 20 to 35 minutes rotating baking sheet after 20 minutes. And then once you take it out, let it cool on a wire rack, and then we'll get back and have a discussion on how it all tastes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we'll see you probably in a few seconds, but we're going to take the four, four and a half hours and come back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:39:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I did have one question though. So the egg quote-unquote egg wash over the top. Does that make it glossy? Does that make it not crunchy? What w I think it's ended up ending up doing two or three things. So what are those two or three things you think it'll end up doing? Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:39:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'll go first, Joey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I'll ask you what you think, Joey, but I think it adds this beautiful golden sheen and almost like a layer. It almost looks like it's glazed. What do you think, Joey? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:39:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah, I think that's pretty much, it, it adds this beautiful shine to it. Just looks really great. I'm not sure what anything else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:40:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, no, I was just curious. I was wondering if it's going to like, keep it from getting cracked. Uh, traditional baguette is crunchy on the top and bottom. This may only be crunchy on the, I have no idea. We go and find out </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:40:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> coffee cake, right? Like a Armenian coffee cake, I think is the best way to that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:40:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what Andrew describes it as.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But like, honestly it is the oldest, oldest ceremonial bread in the world. It's the major dessert served at the most important celebrations often called the Jewel of the feast table or the queen of the Armenian desserts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And then those stamps, we talked about the stamps and the sacredness, the meaning behind the stamps and who it's for, like initiation and ceremony and welcoming each other. So we welcome. You always thank you for this beautiful friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The circle is widening and growing every day. Thank you for being with us and thank you for being so patient as this podcast episode is now two hours and more than two hours </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I love it. I pause it. I come back. I love it. I want to be a part of the crew. I want to be a part of the table. I want to be a part of the friendship. And this is what I'm building here. This is what we're all building here is the family. This is the village we're looking for. You know, like when we had kids, people are like, oh, the village.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, raise the child. It takes a village. Well, BS, because I'm like, where is everybody? We literally had nobody, nobody, it was just us now it's four. And now it's growing with our podcast and all of our friends, but seriously, like we didn't even have anyone, no one ever babysat for us. The only time that actually happened was for an hour and a half when I was in surgery, kind of giving birth till Alegra and then Matt left and picked Allegra Elle up again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But like, and the only other time anyone watched our kids was when we went through a major trauma, Matt was in the hospital and I had to be an ICU with him, not how to, but I was, you know, that's, I'm right by your side, babe. But we had to leave the kids with people like that was the only time and they were strangers and whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's an, a whole other story. But, um, anyways, it, but this is how we grow our </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:42:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> village. We pause this. Then the sooner everybody gets to hear me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:42:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, guys, love you. We'll talk to you in a few seconds. Indeed. All right. Take care.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Making, Baking, and Breaking Bread part 2 Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. We are back. Everything is out of the oven are our Gatas. I keep wanting to say gateaux, which is cake in French. Ours are out Joey's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">is out </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> what has been mere seconds for the listener has been ages for us </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> over five hours. Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, it was in the refrigerator. Then it got pulled out. Then it got shaped with the filling inside and flipped and rolled out and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> washed with egg wash and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then oven and timed. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'll say this, when we put it in the oven, we were all excited. We were sending each other photos, texting photos, but ours cracked and it's, it's like the Gata I remember. When I was a kid, you can like flip it around and go, here you go. Like catch it like a Frisbee almost. And this one, no, I think I put too much filling in ours of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> she put too much filling and dates.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's completely different. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Excuse me. That is the feeling. Oh, I see. Because dates no </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> dates. So I did notice yours was the picture of your filling was much more. It looks like the handle of a, of a paste kind of consistency that mine was. And I didn't use dates. I ended up not putting dates in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> like Andrews, like what was just crumbly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> It was crumbly. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Ah, okay guys. So how does yours look, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Joey? Um, should I take pictures and send them to you? And then we could post.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What does that, is that the oven? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. And then we could post pictures with the episode. Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do I take a good picture. I'm not a good food pictures. And now </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's nighttime. So the lighting is weird. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. Okay. I'm sending you a pic. But I think it came out pretty well. There's a couple of cracks in it. It certainly doesn't look like that picture you sent with the article that you sent, which is yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're they seem much broader and much more sturdy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, totally. Exactly. So let me say, I'm getting your picture right now. Oh, Joey, it looks great. You look so good. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> intact. There's one big crack on the side, but that's, that's pretty much it. Yours </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> looks. Like perfection. Perfect. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> We've got a crack here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I want to cry half. We've got a two inch crack here. We've got a name. We've got a half a quarter inch crack </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> here. Okay, buddy. There's one there on the side, but I just, I want to cry right now. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> want to come perfection. Perfect. Wabi-sabi post we'll post pictures and all the listeners to see our beautiful work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> want to post my pictures. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> She doesn't want to posters she'll post </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the before, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> but not the after. Wait, find Google, like pick an image from Google that we post with it, but make sure it has like some random watermark on the image. Wait, so people could be like this isn't. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'll show mine it's cracked.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, well. Oh well, but can I read you guys while we were waiting for the goddess to cool. I found this article from sbs.com. Dot a U slash food slash wait slash I, I can't read the rest of it, but, um, it's sbs.com.au/food. So it's an article from Australia and, from December 13th 2019, written by Yasmin Noone. And it's funny because in Farsi, Noone means bread. So here she is talking about this bread that we just made. It's really interesting. But she goes to say that although gata is famous throughout Armenia for its links to Liberty and freedom, the sweet bread is a rare delicacy in Australia.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Here's how to track down a taste of good luck and a bread loaf, according to one local cook. And so it says bread is meant to be one of the, one of life's most simple edible treasures. But when you learn the history about gata, an Armenian bread like treat that's worth hunting down, even if it's just a taste once in your lifetime, you'll realize that culinary simplicity can be shrouded in beautifully complex roots. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this area that they're in is called Geghard Australia, and there's also a Geghard in Armenia. Okay. I'll read this part of the article. It says "the sweet bread of Geghard Monastery. The sweet bread of Geghard Monastery. The most famous version of gata is a round bread loaf, marked with decorative motifs or the word Geghard an edible. Representation of the Armenian village of the same name situated in the midst of Armenia's upper Azat Valley you'll find gada being sold near a grand sculpture emitting natural beauty, the monastery of Geghard. According to UNESCO, the Christian Church, surrounded by cliffs and defensive walls was first carved into living rock around the start of the fourth century,AD. "</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it talks about the walkways in the church, outside the church where women would have stalls and they would sell the gata to visitors.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Check this out. It says, " Sweet freedom, lucky bread." gata is also known for good luck. It says: "as history dictates gata's origins are closely linked to the creation of the monastery founded by Saint Gregory the Illuminator. The church was built after Christianity was first adopted as a state religion. No one knows how, but it soon became a tradition for vendors to sell gata outside the monastery."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Iskikian is the caterer that she's talking about and Iskikian’s. Please forgive me. I'm pronouncing her name. So "Iskikian however, tells a modified version of the same story as told to her by a school teacher in her youth."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She says: "the church was carved inside the rock because at the time Christians were being persecuted, the church became a secret place for the Christians to pray. From the outside, you couldn't even tell it was a church. She explains that the concept of bread and Christianity is linked to the last supper. Hence it's popularity as a food by the early Christians in Geghard. Years past, and Christianity later became recognized as a state religion of Armenia. As people started practicing Christianity more freely in Gegard, they started adding sweetness inside the bread. From then on, the bread was consumed, known as gata became associated with the sweetness of Liberty and freedom."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It goes on to say, "Gata's baked during the wedding and later broken over the head of the couple as a blessing of good luck."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The bread we made today, like over here, like the one I did. It'll break before we reach anyone's head. Like if I pick it up, it'll just crumble.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's so flaky. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well now hold on. We don't know underneath how thick or thin it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is. No, I moved it, so I know. So given gata's sweet affiliation, it's also used in Armenia as a symbol of good luck at weddings. The dish is often offered to friends and family before they travel.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You take gada to their house to wish them a safe journey. Although gata is eaten all year round, it's also traditional to consume it during the Christian holiday of Candlemass, occurring 40 days after Christmas on the Armenian calendar.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hmm. Um, so interesting. Like the more I read about this simple, beautiful dessert, the more I'm finding, like the more stories that come up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. It like, if you go, we were talking about going down to Denver and going to that Armenian bakery. If I, I wish I could remember the name and I don't want to lose my train of thought, so I'm not going to Google, but anyway, if you go into a bakery and you're like, I'll have a piece of that, you're just most of the time for most people, you're just buying a piece of that. Right. But there's so much, like it's so much more than bread it's or it's so much more than anything, you know what I mean? There's just so much to everything and with something like gata and what you're reading and the history that I know, because I've been researching my history and my, introduction to identity with Armenia, I mean, it's just so meaningful. So again, it's just about being conscious of the food. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Joey, what you said was so beautiful and it's, it's about being conscious of what it is. Well, what's before us and it goes with people too. There's so much more to it. History. There's so much more to it than what we read. You know, we talked about this last time because history is written by the ones that take over everything by the victors.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. And I think, again, personally, for me, and having done this research and understanding what happened, two thirds of the population was gone and there were only two two and a half million Armenians on earth at that point to begin with. So two thirds of the population is a lot of the population, so I'm very lucky that my great grandparents made it out of there. And I'm very lucky that I'm here because I could just have easily not been here. And we could all just as easily, not be able to have this bread because most of the people were killed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">There's just so much consciousness to put into all of this. And again, like, I don't want there to be a burden with all this understanding and knowledge. It adds to the importance of food and the legacy, I guess. That's it right? The legacy of the food.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So true, Joey, I just want to say how I feel so blessed by you. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your great grandfather and your great grandmother with us. And thank you for sharing this whole journey. I, I truly feel as soon as I first saw you that you were family to me, and of course, to Matt and Alegra and to Elle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Thank you. Thank you for this whole experience. And I'm so excited to learn more. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:50]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah, thank you both for talking to me about this, having me on your podcast and even off the podcast and talking about this and, you know, I love talking about this. And again, it's something that a lot of people know about, but I just, when I get passionate about this stuff, that's probably true for anybody, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like when I get passionate about stuff, I just like, want to talk about it, like, oh, the Armenian genocide. Oh gata oh, this food. Oh, you know where this came from? Oh, Star Wars, you know, it's all there. It's all just like loving talking about what I am passionate about and becoming more passionate about my identity within this culture</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you are such a beautiful human being. Joey, we were just looking at your house today that you've been building. So it's been over a year. How long have you been redoing your house? Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> we moved here in August 20, 20 peak peak COVID at that point, you know, we moved from New York. We were living right outside of New York.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And Lorelai got a job. My partner got a job here at the university of Wyoming. So we moved out here and bought this house that we affectionately call the trash house and listeners trash house Laramie on Instagram. Um, yeah. And have just been going ho I got laid off in June of 2020 because of COVID right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we moved out here. I. Was and am pretty much unemployed and I've just been dedicating my full-time to this. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I was going to say that you're a such a beautiful human being and it's your actions. It's the way you walk on the planet. It's the way that you listen to people. It's the way that you gather details and share them so beautifully, Joey. You are such an amazing host in the world. Like we always talk about, you always need to be a good host, Matt. Joey is that. Joey you're phenomenal. And the reason why I brought up your house was the care that you've taken to redo this house. You showed us today that you've done with this house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, honestly, I would have said forget it. I mean, but the care, the care and the passion and the love that you've taken for every little detail, that is totally who you are as a human being; to care so much and to make the world better, to make this house better, to make understanding everything better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You are really talented, my friend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Well, thank you so much. And I love that. And that's really great to hear, and I really appreciate it. you know, like I said earlier that I don't thank you so much Fawn. That's so that's just a lovely, that's just also lovely. So I don't want to move away from that too quickly. But I was saying earlier, like, It's not until people say something to me sometimes that I'm like, oh no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. That makes total sense. And especially about myself. So now as we're talking and I just did that whole like monologue about the legacy of food and culture I have and had, and have very similar feelings about this house that I'm now putting together as we're talking like this house was built in 1938 and you know, how many people...</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've had two contractors. I've done all this work myself. Two contractors have come in here to do work. Each one of them said, oh, we looked at this house and immediately said, no, thank you. So this house was neglected. People turned it down. It was built in 1938. It's seen some stuff like it's lived through a lot and I just wanted to take care of it,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">build it back up to not exactly what it was, but I think a pretty good representation of a house with a legacy. You know, this house has a legacy. It's, it's just like an incredible how long it's been here through the stuff that this world has gone through. It's just incredible. And, it's a lot of the same sentiments as to why I have really loved</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">starting the new podcasters association, helping people on their journeys, helping. I love podcasting. I'm also very passionate about that and love talking about that and love helping people start their podcast and like getting moving forward on their journey about the stuff that they're passionate about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, when we, when we're amongst friends, you can see each other's paths much more clearly. Like I can see how everything in your life, Joey is beautifully intertwined. I can see how geology works into this, like the first episode we did with you, we were talking about the rock and how little kids will come and move it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that rock has been there for many centuries and now it gets right. Like it's seen everything and it's literally like everything, to give honor to that, to realize how special that is instead of just ignoring it or kicking it. That is beautiful. And that is part of your beauty, my friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You are an amazing human. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Thank you so much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Before we close off this show, this is the longest podcast we've ever done. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> When I keep staring at </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> the. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt, but don't eat it without the kids. I want the kids to come in, but before they come in to, before we slice into it, so earlier today, I told you what I think breaking bread means to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I think breaking bread , it's about breaking the resist and the not knowing of our stories because when we get together and we share a piece of bread, a meal, it breaks that resistance of not knowing; not knowing each other, not knowing our stories, not knowing history, not knowing, not knowing what it's like to hear the music that comes out of people's mouths as they talk and as we share each other's stories. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's like most things. It's a, almost a deeper form of communication because what you're expressing to someone when you present them with bread or food in general is, you're presenting a part of yourself and it's not necessarily, it's, it's, it's kind of an unguarded piece of yourself. I mean, you've spent this time, particularly when you look at a loaf of bread or a cake, you have no idea what's really going on inside.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. So when you present like a fresh loaf, It's like, well, is it good? Is there too much of this? Is there too little of that? So, the act of presenting it to someone implies that you have faith and trust and that they're going to enjoy it and they're not going to judge you based upon it on some level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:57]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Very it's a, you know, it's, it's also, is it seemingly very meta what you're saying, Matt, like, it's this. Insecurities I put on myself when in a new situation with a new person, you know what I mean? Like, is there too much of this or not enough of this and the bread, but in my like a little too much, is there too much Star Wars, but talking about, you know, that kind of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, and, and that's just it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then on the other side of the coin, when you're presented with the bread, it's like, you have no idea what it's going to taste like or what it's going to be like. And this, this person is presenting it to you for your enjoyment. There's such a it's, it's almost like, again, there's a responsibility to it because there, you know, here you go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's going to be a different experience and particularly with this bread, even though, you know, Make it in two separate states. I honestly, I have no idea. It's like how much rise will there be on it? How crunchy or not crunchy will it be et cetera, et cetera. I mean, it's it's yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's, it's, it's kind of exciting. Did you want to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> say something about contracts?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I did, but in the Babylonian world, so we talk about breaking contracts, right? And I think about it as far as, as bread goes, because in ancient Babylonian times, breaking of the actual contract itself was probably put on a reed tablet or a clay tablet and put inside of a shell. And the breaking of a contract was actually, so you could examine the actual contract inside, which is a very different meaning than we give to breaking a contract. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:29]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, obviously breaking a contract means, oh, I'm not gonna do that anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> But, uh, uh, there's the opposite. There's a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> similarity because with this bread, there's a filling inside that, we have some hints about, but what's it really going to be like?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God, that's like exploring each other and each other's stories cause you're breaking it open and seeing what's in there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So how about you, Joey? What is breaking bread? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. You know, I think if you had asked me a couple of years ago, I'd have a very different answer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What would your answer be back then? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> But my answer back then would probably be maybe a little more closed minded, right? Like I was just talking about, you go into a bakery and you just order a thing or you order a loaf of bread.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And now, the understanding of what it all means; bread, food, like I'm interpreting breaking bread as both like very literal of with bread, but also having people in your life, sitting down, eating food, having a community experience with food and, Gone through this pandemic and isolated from people, and there's this huge, like we're doing this remotely, we're breaking this bread remotely. And I think remotely and in person, it's a very personal thing. Like Matt was saying, I put all of my effort into this one specific thing, but it's also like something you're sharing with friends, right? You're making this commitment to share this with friends, new friends, old friends, whatever. So it's a very familial friendship bond thing that we're all doing that. Is, I guess, part of my thesis about there are whole part two conversation here about like the consciousness of it all sitting down with people, friendship, family food, breaking bread </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Come on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's eat. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Let me get the girls. You want to get the girls? Oh, just, yeah. Just tell him,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Joey, I'm afraid to cut into it. It's just going to fall apart. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I think it's going to be great. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm going to wait for them to come and then I'll slice it. Have you sliced yours yet? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:43]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I have not sliced mine yet. Is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Lorelei coming? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I texted her to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> see. Okay, so right. The girls are here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The camp though, get too many cables. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Don't like, sit there if you want. Are you okay there? All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Except you have to have a power cable. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just want to say again, a great thank you. Before we slice into this bread, before we break the bread, I am so grateful to all of you listening. As we have like a 15, 16, 20 hour podcast this time, and also all the times.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you everyone for being part of our friendship circle. Thank you to Joey, Joey Krikorian. You are amazing. We love you. And I am so blessed. I mean, look at us. This is amazing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:39]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Thank you. Fawn and Matt for having me and for letting me tell my story as it stands now and for making this bread with me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's like, I almost want to say a blessing over the bread.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, this is the blessing. That was my prayer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, nevermind. What's in bread. Yeah. Oh, I was, I was going to say, do you want me to say a blessing over the bread, but then it was going to be corny. Oh, actually it was going to be worse than corny. It was going to be an attempt at being funny blasphemous.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. But here we go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:12]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> thanks for the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> grub. Yay </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> God. Okay, well, thank you. Here we go. Thank you friends. Here we go. We're slicing into it. Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> my goodness. This is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> incredible. You know what it hardened. This is, it looks at crunch here. Can you hear I'll put here. I can just hold the microphone. We're going to slice it here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can just hold the microphone. Nope. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're okay. Don't worry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well done. We broke the bread. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's parchment paper underneath, but the crunch is the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> crunch. Ah, Joey is showing us his that's a nice rise on that is picture perfect. That looks like Andrew's</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:03]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> it? Uh, it's a little uncentered, the filling, but. This is what it is. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> am scared. Oh, look, ours kind of looks the same too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So we did a vegan version and Joey did Andrew's recipe. This slice. I'm going to give him some more. Thank you. I'll take the little one. Okay. Everybody. One more so excited. Oh wait. Okay. Okay. Everyone, everyone bite,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">take a bite, take a bite right there. Oh, it is. Okay. Here we go. Everybody. I have to sniff it first.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah, that's pretty dang good. Wow. Very sweet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> . What do you think is really good?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> you sure? This is like not too sweet and salty. Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> my God. Yeah. It's salty. Right? We didn't put that much salt. It was really good. I can see why Andrew called it a coffee cake.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah, I'm a big fan. So between what I've just eaten and the smell that filled the house, when baking, it will definitely be making this again. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> can't wait. I want to break it over. Someone's head. You know what? I can't wait to do this in person. All of us. This was so much fun. I can't believe it. You know what? I'm not depressed anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now that I taste it and I see the inside, it looks pretty great, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:02]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> very healing bread. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And now we shall have good luck. Today is our day. Oh my goodness. Well, thank you! Joey, can you tell our friends how they can get ahold of you? What you would like them to know? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. Anyone listening can reach out to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am at Krypton Alderaan K R Y P T O N a L D E R a N on Twitter on any social media really, or Kryptontoalderaan@gmail.com. You can shoot me an email again, to reiterate. I'd love to hear from anybody who wants to talk about this conversation? Anybody who wants to talk about Armenian culture, anybody who's read "A Hundred Year Walk" and wants to talk about that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you like Star Wars, check out my podcast, Krypton to Alderaan. I'd also love to talk to anybody about that. So I think those are all the things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You don't just talk about star wars. You get in deep </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> talk about a lot of stuff. I try to. Relate star wars back. I try to hold pop culture responsible for a lot of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I try to talk to people about stuff that matters to them. I interviewed one of our other podcast, friends, Jolene Jang a while ago about stop Asian hate and Asian anti-Asian racism and pop culture. So we have a fun time talking aboutStar Wars. We also do go a little deep. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You sure do. It's a great podcast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everyone check him out. And let us know your stories. if you want to contribute to our show, please, go to our website, our friendly world podcast.com and let us know anything you want. Just please keep in touch. I am so grateful for everyone listening. Thank you again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we'll talk to you in just a little bit. All right, everybody take care.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This is a longer show for a reason. We begin before Joey shows up by expressing some emotional stress and turmoil that happened to us this past week from fires to blizzards, to another case of Fawn experiencing some more racism, yet another mass shooting in Colorado, to all the other stuff. We talk about how important it is to clear the air before we meet our friends, before a ceremonial time together. So we do this before Joey shows up.
When Joey shows up, we discuss the importance of ceremony, the importance of learning and respecting each other's cultures and history, Star Wars, why pronunciation is such a trigger, and then we continue talking as we make, bake, and break the Gata Bread. Just press pause when you need to and come back and make sure you hear all of this episode (where you'll learn to make the most amazing ancient dessert) and make sure you are present for the last 30 minutes as we come to a very special understanding about get-togethers in life.
Some Links:
If you would like to support our show by buying us a coffee:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
To reach Joey: 
Kryptontoalderaan@gmail.com.
https://www.instagram.com/kryptontoalderaan/
https://linktr.ee/kryptontoalderaan
https://twitter.com/kryptonalderaan
 
To reach Andrew Janjigian
Pictures and recipe for Gata – Thank you, Andrew Janjigianhttps://www.seriouseats.com/gata-5185123
 
Preshow therapy Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Our sweet friend, Joey is coming here soon in like a few minutes. And one of the things we always talk about is the art of being a good host. I feel like I needed to talk with you all before Joey comes. So before a friend comes, have you ever experienced this? When you've had a hard time with something, it could be anything, but you're having a hard time meaning that maybe you're not in the best mood and that you need to process something first before you open up the doors and go, hi.
Yay. Our friend is here. Right. 
[00:00:38] Matt: So no, and I get that, but you know, being raised in a more Germanic household, we just compartmentalize, 
[00:00:44] Fawn: well, I don't. And before, before sweet Joey comes, I need to express, I need to communicate what's been bothering me the past few days. Yesterday was Elle's birthday. Right?
The day before that I had to take her for immunizations. I got into a really bad mood. Like I wasn't expressing it to anyone, but it was a seed. Something was bothering me and it was starting to build. Every time I experienced any form of microaggression or macro aggression. It takes me by surprise because every time I process it, I'm like, okay, that's done. I'm not going to continue with this baggage. I'm going to clear it and I'm moving on as if that was just a one-time occurrence.
Right. And I'm not going to invite that into my circle again...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>02:28:37</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[After the Show Conversation with Joey Krikorian]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Jan 2022 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/after-the-show-conversation-with-joey-krikorian</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/after-the-show-conversation-with-joey-krikorian</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Join us for more conversation with our friend Joey as we get more relaxed and talk about Star Wars, pasta, geology, music, Armenia, and our next episode together and all the things we did not get a chance to talk about (about the root of why things happen the way they do).</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To contribute to our podcast, you can buy us "a cup of coffee" by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) here:  </span></span><span style="font-size:large;">buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And just because this could be interesting, but yes, I want to talk about man and his sense of smell, but that's going to be handled in the next show, which is great. I also wanted to talk about, you know, there is a tradition, an Italian tradition as far as like, um, you know, pasta comes from the far east and the Italians have quote-unquote made it their own so that the, and during the Roman empire, they grabbed spices from everywhere they could grab it from the spice road, for instance, I mean, God, that that's a culture addicted to spice, right? Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Also Joey. I wanted to mention something very interesting. There is a book it's actually two books, the graphic novels it's called "Maus", M A U S </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> a hundred percent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He actually talks about how his father didn't want to tell his stories. And he actually gets an explanation from his father and then his father completely changes his tune, but very, very powerful series of books.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I think I want to say something to the first point you've made, which is that I should've said this one thing my Armenian grandfather always did as much as we didn't talk about anything else related to Armenia, anything, anything in the world he would point to and say, Armenians invented that, or that was Armenian pasta, grape leaves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know any, anything, anywhere. That was his go-to thing. And it's like something, it was just part of my. Childhood hearing. Right? So it never, like, it was always just a thing, you know, it was always just a thing in my life. So, uh, I never really asked any questions or anything, but looking back that was pretty fun and entertaining and pretty much the truth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? I get it. I get it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> go ahead, go ahead. If we're continuing down that same line. Okay. Well to "Maus". Yes. And what a great book and what a great like. EV everyone should read it. You know, there were these, I could talk forever about this, but there...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Join us for more conversation with our friend Joey as we get more relaxed and talk about Star Wars, pasta, geology, music, Armenia, and our next episode together and all the things we did not get a chance to talk about (about the root of why things happen the way they do).
To contribute to our podcast, you can buy us "a cup of coffee" by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) here:  buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Matt: And just because this could be interesting, but yes, I want to talk about man and his sense of smell, but that's going to be handled in the next show, which is great. I also wanted to talk about, you know, there is a tradition, an Italian tradition as far as like, um, you know, pasta comes from the far east and the Italians have quote-unquote made it their own so that the, and during the Roman empire, they grabbed spices from everywhere they could grab it from the spice road, for instance, I mean, God, that that's a culture addicted to spice, right? Yeah.
Also Joey. I wanted to mention something very interesting. There is a book it's actually two books, the graphic novels it's called "Maus", M A U S 
[00:00:43] Joey: a hundred percent.
[00:00:44] Matt: He actually talks about how his father didn't want to tell his stories. And he actually gets an explanation from his father and then his father completely changes his tune, but very, very powerful series of books.
[00:00:57] Joey: I think I want to say something to the first point you've made, which is that I should've said this one thing my Armenian grandfather always did as much as we didn't talk about anything else related to Armenia, anything, anything in the world he would point to and say, Armenians invented that, or that was Armenian pasta, grape leaves.
I don't know any, anything, anywhere. That was his go-to thing. And it's like something, it was just part of my. Childhood hearing. Right? So it never, like, it was always just a thing, you know, it was always just a thing in my life. So, uh, I never really asked any questions or anything, but looking back that was pretty fun and entertaining and pretty much the truth.
You know what I mean? I get it. I get it. 
[00:01:46] Matt: And for 
[00:01:48] Joey: go ahead, go ahead. If we're continuing down that same line. Okay. Well to "Maus". Yes. And what a great book and what a great like. EV everyone should read it. You know, there were these, I could talk forever about this, but there...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>bonus</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[After the Show Conversation with Joey Krikorian]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Join us for more conversation with our friend Joey as we get more relaxed and talk about Star Wars, pasta, geology, music, Armenia, and our next episode together and all the things we did not get a chance to talk about (about the root of why things happen the way they do).</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To contribute to our podcast, you can buy us "a cup of coffee" by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) here:  </span></span><span style="font-size:large;">buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And just because this could be interesting, but yes, I want to talk about man and his sense of smell, but that's going to be handled in the next show, which is great. I also wanted to talk about, you know, there is a tradition, an Italian tradition as far as like, um, you know, pasta comes from the far east and the Italians have quote-unquote made it their own so that the, and during the Roman empire, they grabbed spices from everywhere they could grab it from the spice road, for instance, I mean, God, that that's a culture addicted to spice, right? Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Also Joey. I wanted to mention something very interesting. There is a book it's actually two books, the graphic novels it's called "Maus", M A U S </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> a hundred percent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He actually talks about how his father didn't want to tell his stories. And he actually gets an explanation from his father and then his father completely changes his tune, but very, very powerful series of books.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I think I want to say something to the first point you've made, which is that I should've said this one thing my Armenian grandfather always did as much as we didn't talk about anything else related to Armenia, anything, anything in the world he would point to and say, Armenians invented that, or that was Armenian pasta, grape leaves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know any, anything, anywhere. That was his go-to thing. And it's like something, it was just part of my. Childhood hearing. Right? So it never, like, it was always just a thing, you know, it was always just a thing in my life. So, uh, I never really asked any questions or anything, but looking back that was pretty fun and entertaining and pretty much the truth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what I mean? I get it. I get it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> go ahead, go ahead. If we're continuing down that same line. Okay. Well to "Maus". Yes. And what a great book and what a great like. EV everyone should read it. You know, there were these, I could talk forever about this, but there are these points where like there's stuff that everyone should watch and read.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And some of it's animated, TV shows and people are so turned off by that, but there's stuff in there and there's stuff like graphic novels, like "MAUS", </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">and there's stuff like "They Called Us Enemy" a graphic memoir by George Takei about spending part of his childhood in an internment camp in the United States. And it's incredibly emotional and it's his story and it's a graphic memoir and it's just like, everyone should read it. And there's people like we're talking about, like, we're talking about people not knowing what the Armenian genocide is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's so many people in this country that grow up not being taught about Japanese internment camps and other things like that, that happened in this country. So right along the same line of "Maus" in my mind is this graphic memoir. It's called, uh, by George Takei called and "They Called Us </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Enemy" </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">there is a number of them. I mean, in Japan, there's a series called "Barefoot Gen", or gen G E N. The whole thing about it's the story of Hiroshima, Jesus Christ. That's not going to be a good story, right. But it's again, very visceral and powerful graphic novel. And then to tie us back to "Maus" for just a second, there's a, there's a scene in the story where he's walking down the street.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He it's it's and it's during the scary time. And he walks by a guy and the guy says , which means, I guess, in Yiddish. And I've probably just butchered it. Uh, it means what does it mean our tribe or it's w and he said it in. And he like hesitated. Like, do I answer him? Do I not answer him? And that takes us to, again, back to Italy and Rome, uh, during the days when the Christians were persecuted, the way that they would say do exactly that exact same thing as they would, they would draw a fish on the ground and then they'd scratch it out because the fish was the early symbol of Christianity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Interesting. I wonder if there's something. I wonder if there's something similar in Armenia, because there was this, that, you know, Christianity, they were Christians. That's what instigated that conflict, that genocide. So I wonder if there's something similar there, it might have something, maybe it has something to do with some of these Gotah Gotah stamps, you know, and if you all want to put this in somewhere, I was really thinking about it the whole time we were talking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause we started with Star Wars and then we went into. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we went everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> We went everywhere, but we went into previous generations or the generation, the people involved in a horrible atrocity, like a genocide, and then subsequent generations not talking about it. And I think it's very interesting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, we talked about the empire blowing up alderaan. No one talks about it. Like Leah, doesn't talk about in any of the rest of the movies. Right. And I think that's a very relatable thing, you know, there's a little bit more to it in the books. And she goes back and traces her history to Nibu and, and being sort of Royal airs to Nibu and stuff like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But, uh, I mean, it's a very similar experience. Her people were killed and. She never talks about it again. And I think if you watch those movies through a lens like that, it means so much more. Whereas if you just watch it on its face there going through the movies, certain plot points have to be hit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Stuff happens. But if you look at it with that lens, it's an actual choice that was made. That's a very real of not talking about the atrocity. That was, that just occurred. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have a thought, I have a. Uh, and I, and I mentioned this to you, Joey, in the notes when we were on zoom, once I said, you know, it's the whole thing about fitting in, fitting in, not talking about something makes you fit in, but it also makes us the killers because we're doing the job of the people that killed by killing our own culture by not talking about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And by not living it and embracing. We are continuing the pillaging. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. I think there's so much fear involved in that, right. Because of, because of who they were, they were murdered. And so you flee that, like my great-grandparents fled the Armenian genocide. I don't know how they interacted with the world when they got here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, they were living in, I presume they were living in like little Armenia, what used to be little Armenia in New York and maybe able to feel more themselves and interact with other people of their culture. But I think there's so much fear in that because you were so heavily persecuted for being who you were.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't want that you don't want to be that again. So you feel like you have to change for that and you feel like you have to change to fit in just so deeply so that you can just exist peacefully so that you're not harassed or murdered or bothered or any, anything, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know what guys think about all the anxiety that's going on in the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And a lot of people from all shades white to every shade, um, there's this thing happening of major anxiety and not knowing what the anxiety is. So they're just prescribed pills for. But guaranteed. A lot of it comes from, ancestral stories that are passed down. Think about, I mean, talk about like it experiencing genocide and then coming to a completely different place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not only experiencing culture shock, but you have PTSD, you know, a term that we can now give these days, but like, Post-traumatic stress disorder. How does that translate? And how does it translate to the following generations? I wonder if that's where the true cause of such unknown anxiety that people are prescribed pills for these days really comes from because</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it gets perpetuated because we're not talking about it. So it, the more you don't know, the more anxious you feel, it's like people that have a disease and they feel terrible. And then there's a term placed on the disease. Like a doctor will say, oh, you have such and such, the person ends up feeling relief because it has a name.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Do you know what I mean? If you don't know where it's coming from, it's even worse because you don't know what danger you're looking out for. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> It's such an anxious atmosphere everywhere. So many people feel like they don't fit in whether you're black or brown or LGBTQ plus, or there's just so many people that get bullied or, uh, discriminated again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anyway, there's just so much of that, that no one can ever feel like they can be their selves in any given situation. So that anxious pressure presence and pressure is just always there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And if you don't fit in, you won't have a good job. You can't make a living. You can't have enough food to eat. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Uh, what's the name of that movie?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ah,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're getting real, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> by the way. I'm turning this into an after show. Oh my goodness. Going to air it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> one more point </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:57]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to make, but make it, this'll be like after show, show. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. I can't find the movie, but I will. Well, give us, give us a description. It's this like? It turns into a weird scifi thing, but the like two thirds of it, the premise is that there's this like telemarketer company or customer service company that the black people who work there need to have white people, voices in order to communicate with the people on the phone, in order to have like a good experience with the customer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They like have white people, voices </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> as interesting Slumdog millionaire played with that concept too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> It came out much, like much later after that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> so completely understand the last point I wanted to make, which is interesting. But if you want to get into kind of almost the Christian culture, JC last supper broke bread, and that's a big thing inside of Christianity because that, and that takes us into.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, this is my body. This is my blood. God, what did I call that? God, I can't believe, I can't remember the ceremony communion. It takes us into communion and that's baked into, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:07]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Christianity </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">How about the Jewish culture every Friday night breaking bread with the Challah. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Anyways. That's that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what I got.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know what we should have, we should do a group, um, like a round table with religious experts. From all religions and some archeologists anthropologists. Are there any anthropologists up there in Wyoming? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> That'll ask me. I could ask Lorelei if she knows anyone at the university or anywhere </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> any university </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> crash, she definitely knows anthropologists.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A lot of what she does focuses on anthropology. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's do, let's do a round table for another show. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Just keep spinning these and spinning these. Ain't never going to get rid of us, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Hey, I'm I'm into it. I love this. I absolutely love this. I love talking about it. I love learning about it and I love food and this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is important.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is important for our society right now. Nobody else is having conversation. You know, they think they are, but they're trying to sell something. You know, I just, I just. I want our friends. I want, I want to develop family here and you're not going to have a true, meaningful family. I mean, knowing firsthand, I grew up in a family and I didn't speak to them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They didn't speak to me to the point where I can't speak my mother tongue anymore. Like, and I couldn't speak it back then that well either, and they didn't speak English at home. So go figure we had. You know what I mean? Let alone there was no respect. That's another issue. But I'm saying, you know, this is, this is the most important thing we can do is to share and to express ourselves and to find the beauty in everything like this beautiful bread we're going to make.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So back to your kingdom of nerdiness, I'm so glad you guys met. Because there's you, I think you all have so much in common and now you're quiet and you're staring at me blinking. Matt will just stare and blink at me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I have more to say, but it's going to be off, off the air. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No. Okay. Fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you wearing a Rush t-shirt </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I'm not wearing a rush. T-shirt I'm actually wearing a star wars, star wars. T-shirt his cover? Cover Me Porkins. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Okay. I thought it said RUSH on top. I was going to give you another music recommendation, which is why I didn't want it on the show. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Why not? Why can't we do, we should have music recommendations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Fine RUSH. Obviously Sci-Fi connection is 2112. We all know this, right. There was a three CD set that RUSH put out called Different Stages Live, I believe. That is my favorite rendition that they did of 2112. And that includes the 25th century remaster. And that's, I think that ironically includes the original.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So yeah, if you want to get a little bit of your 1976 geek, on via 2112, that would be the one I would recommend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, it rushes American, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Russia's Canadian Canadian power trio. And unfortunately, Neil Peart passed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm sorry to hear that. I was actually once upon a time, I had two degrees of separation from Neil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Peart nice. What happened? Um, when I worked at DL, there was a woman there who was dating him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's always a connection. Is it because we're from LA? Is that it? Joey? We talk about all this, all this, all the time also, but like where we lived, my neighbor was dating, Eddie Van Halen, Eddie Van Halen. And I met Eddie Van Halen initially through the plumbing because we would talk to each other in the bathroom, my neighbor and I would, and so, um, friends who would come over didn't know that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like they would use the bathroom. And if I was in the bathroom on my side, I'd be like, Hey, and they would freeze. And the most hysterical moments of had happened, happened in the bathroom. Anyway. So here he is in the bathroom using the bathroom and I'm listening. And then I noticed he didn't wash his hands.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I started telling him and he was smoking and could smell the smoke as I started berating him over the smoke. And did you wash your hands? And so he comes right over. Laughing hysterically and the fact that here's Eddie van Halen right in front of me. And so Matt always, wore these Vans, these checkered Vans that were outside my door because I'm a shoeless, I've always been a shoeless household.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, please leave your shoes at the front. Sure. And so, so he would always comment on Matt's shoes and he would laugh at this note that I had on my, uh, my door that said, please remove your shoes. And so he would laugh. I'm like, what are you laughing at? I don't get it. He's like, I remove Matt's shoes all the time. I re move them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like he, he, he would take them and move them over an inch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> That's a good joke. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So he would always be touching Matt's shoes and Matt never met Eddie. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I never saw him. I never met him. So Matt </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:24]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> was saying, Matt would always say, you're lying. He wouldn't say lying, but you're like, you're making it up. I'm like, dude, he would miss, they wouldn't miss each other by five seconds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sometimes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> it was. That's what I said the same room together, but like the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> whole washing the hands thing, the first time we met, so we were laughing hysterically, like all of us, like Eddie, me and my neighbor. And so our other neighbor's walking home from a hard day's work, like he's carrying all his gear and he's walking and his head is down and then he just hears us laughing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He looks at us, he's like, Hey guys, what's up? And we're talking. And I'm like, oh, I'm just, you know, we're just, um, laughing at washing hands. And then he's like, oh yeah. And then we start talking about the date and then he looks at Eddie and he. The shock on his face. And then he's like, oh, and then, and then, so Eddie van Halen turns to him and he's like, hi, I'm Eddie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we just had his hand out, but I had just told them we were laughing over not washing hands. And so my friend would not shake his hand. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He didn't wash it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. It was crazy, like good times, good times. But like, we always have stories of someone famous and our kids must think we're the biggest liars because we'll watch TV.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, oh yeah, I photographed that guy. Oh yeah. We, we would hang out and they're like, you did. I'm like, yeah, we did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> By the way, that movie "Big Fish". You ever see that movie? I love that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I believe we have, I haven't seen that in a long time, but, um, yeah. Before we go take another step, you know, rest in peace, Neil Peart rest in peace.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Eddie van Halen. Hmm. I can't believe it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I cannot believe it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm sorry. Joey. Did, were you saying something? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> No, I don't think so. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt is crunching on. Chocolate covered espresso beans. Nice crunch. I don't want lunch. I don't want this espresso beans. There would be this song about potato chips</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">anyway. So what else guys?. What else do you want to talk about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> next step in jibber, jabbering way too long. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I loved this. This was great. I, uh, yeah, I'm excited for our next episode. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> had a really great time. I normally don't have this many notes of stuff that I wanted to bring up and I didn't have an opportunity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You always say that because I talk too much and you don't have a chance to jump in there. And I mean, boom, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> boom, boom, boom, boom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Now, we've got a second. We've got a second opportunity here. I have some extra notes as well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's always so much to talk about. Most of our guests with the exception of one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Always come back because there's so much to talk about, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. I'd love to come back. Well for the baking one, then </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we haven't even been here. The conversation. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. Yeah. We need to teach on geology. Do you have any good stones over there? This is where like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> dinosaurs </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:39]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> are from. So. It's interesting because our kids, Elle and Alegra w and I, and I noticed a lot of kids did this too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They, as soon as they could walk, would gravitate towards rocks and stare at them the way you told me that you did when you were little, and they would pick them up and come to me and present these stones to me, like how adults would present a big diamond to someone, you know what I mean? And I would, we would go home with bags, backpack filled with rocks that they've found in the river bed or like wherever we were and they were pets.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, my, do you guys know a long time ago, people had pet rocks and they didn't get what I was saying, but like, no, they were, they were actual entities, like, and I always wondered there's a spiritualness to that. Like there's a spiritualness to scents. I think there's a big spiritual component to the sense of smelling something that brings back memory.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And of course, rocks have been the major force out there that it's been there. It's witnessed everything quietly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> over and over again. Right? Yeah. It's so interesting that so many kids have such a connection to rocks. Um, yeah. I don't know. You know, we talked last time, I think briefly about connection to dinosaurs, but they were like, everyone's going to be connected to a dinosaurs, this kid, because they were these great behemoth monsters</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that ruled the planet. I mean, you're just gonna think that that's cool. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't, I'm sorry. Every time I thought about dinosaurs, it scared the hell out of me because there was this ho I think horrible show Matt liked it, but there was this show a long time ago. What was it called? The land of the lost, but I never </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> saw it because I wasn't allowed to watch like Saturday morning TV.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's terrifying. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> It's your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> theme song? I was like, oh my God, thank God. I don't have to see that part of history. Like I didn't like, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I loved that show. There was like a remake, there was like an older one sixties or seventies. And then I think they had a remake in the eighties or nineties. And then there was even a movie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah with Will Ferrell. I probably wouldn't watch that, but anyway, I like that show. I don't mean to, I don't know what the connection is with rocks, you know, but then, so I always love them and I always love fossils and where I grew up in New York, you know, you know what to look for and find a seashell fossils and stuff like that everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But then growing, knowing I wanted to be a geologist and eventually a paleontologist. but the more you learn about what it really means to be a rock, the more it mattered to me, you know what I mean? And maybe I always had like a scientific mind about it, but the amount of energy and work and lifetimes and stories that went into making any given rock is just incredible geologic history </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:03]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and the patients are rock has like a normal rock in our modern day. History waiting maybe forever years for someone to come move it's perspective for some little kids come and move it over a few inches or put it in a backpack and it ends up over here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Please remove rocks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I need a better perspective, a different one. That's what the rock </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> would say, but we're both geologists here and we both have loads of rocks that every time we move, we have to move boxes of, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:41]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> oh my God, the heaviness. And if you use a moving company, they charge you by the pound. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah, we just got a quote for several moving companies and we're probably not doing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Joey, do you go out there and like, do you, is the term excavate X, X, X? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I haven't done much exploring out here. Unfortunately I say that, I feel like I say that to someone every day, but I just haven't gone like out into the wilderness, which is insane because it's the nicest part of being in this place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Joey. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Did you see that picture? Months ago, a few months ago, it was the, it was like in the midst of the pandemic and it was in Uruguay. These men found this massive piece of, I think it was amethyst and they cut it open, split it in half. Oh, this, I dunno what you call it. A big thing. They score </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:40]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> crystals inside.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, do yes. That one. And they split in half and it was in a perfect, the amethyst part, the, the lavender looking part. It was in a perfect heart shape. Did you see that you Google, Google heart shaped amethyst, Uruguay? I think it was 2020.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Let's see if it comes up, it popped right up. Do you see </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:07]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that heart? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Let me, so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's two men and they're still in the field. They had just cracked it open. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yep. That's pretty incredible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I wanted, I wanted, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I want </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> said, look, I'm afraid of dinosaurs, but I can't get enough of crystals. Yeah,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> the dark crystal. That's another. Well, what's another good, good nerd. That's that? That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a nerd book and movie </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> old, old Jim Henson. Puppets. Yeah, yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yeah. Henson was Hanson was that's all I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> can say. Yes. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Agreed. We actually have a Jim Henson quote on our website. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Henson Henson, Mr. Muppet, Mr. Sesame street, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> not darkness in a movie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, "The Dark Crystal". I was about, well, it's hard to explain, but there was a crystal involved </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyways. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. Well, . I don't want to go, but I never want to go. </span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/2a51b94e-b802-4b77-be49-d41dd4b41f3a/After-the-Show-with-Joey-FULL.mp3" length="26339893"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Join us for more conversation with our friend Joey as we get more relaxed and talk about Star Wars, pasta, geology, music, Armenia, and our next episode together and all the things we did not get a chance to talk about (about the root of why things happen the way they do).
To contribute to our podcast, you can buy us "a cup of coffee" by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) here:  buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Matt: And just because this could be interesting, but yes, I want to talk about man and his sense of smell, but that's going to be handled in the next show, which is great. I also wanted to talk about, you know, there is a tradition, an Italian tradition as far as like, um, you know, pasta comes from the far east and the Italians have quote-unquote made it their own so that the, and during the Roman empire, they grabbed spices from everywhere they could grab it from the spice road, for instance, I mean, God, that that's a culture addicted to spice, right? Yeah.
Also Joey. I wanted to mention something very interesting. There is a book it's actually two books, the graphic novels it's called "Maus", M A U S 
[00:00:43] Joey: a hundred percent.
[00:00:44] Matt: He actually talks about how his father didn't want to tell his stories. And he actually gets an explanation from his father and then his father completely changes his tune, but very, very powerful series of books.
[00:00:57] Joey: I think I want to say something to the first point you've made, which is that I should've said this one thing my Armenian grandfather always did as much as we didn't talk about anything else related to Armenia, anything, anything in the world he would point to and say, Armenians invented that, or that was Armenian pasta, grape leaves.
I don't know any, anything, anywhere. That was his go-to thing. And it's like something, it was just part of my. Childhood hearing. Right? So it never, like, it was always just a thing, you know, it was always just a thing in my life. So, uh, I never really asked any questions or anything, but looking back that was pretty fun and entertaining and pretty much the truth.
You know what I mean? I get it. I get it. 
[00:01:46] Matt: And for 
[00:01:48] Joey: go ahead, go ahead. If we're continuing down that same line. Okay. Well to "Maus". Yes. And what a great book and what a great like. EV everyone should read it. You know, there were these, I could talk forever about this, but there...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:27:26</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Root of the Matter with Joseph Krikorian]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 03 Jan 2022 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-root-of-the-matter-with-joseph-krikorian</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-root-of-the-matter-with-joseph-krikorian</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to contribute to our podcast, you can buy us "a cup of coffee" by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) here:  </span></span><span style="font-size:large;">buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We welcome our friend Joseph Krikorian as we explore the Armenian culture and history.<br /></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to begin the root of the matter as we delve into coming from somewhere else and the ways of having to make our way in the world, all the while, carrying with us, all the emotions, the history, our stories, and our mapping out and figuring out a brave new one, a brave new world that is. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially with the trail of the people who came before us. Like our ancestors, grandparents, great-grandparents sometimes even parents, who may not have the stories or they do have the stories, but they're not passed down to us; all the why's, the how's and when's like, why did this happen? Not even knowing that we should be asking these questions because we have no idea, what happened in the past. What makes someone behave the way they do? What makes our household our home, have a certain vibe, or like a certain history?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to reach Joey:<br /><a href="https://kryptontoalderaan.podbean.com/">https://kryptontoalderaan.podbean.com/</a><br /></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Are we ever going to get a new table? I feel like I got this table for us and I said, we'll have it forever, honey. But we're sitting, we got forever tables in the other room. Well, times were really tough and every dollar counted. And once we started to start to begin to get back on our feet, I saw it as a toddler picnic table.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, honey, we have to get it with an umbrella with an umbrella and chairs. And it was like under a hundred dollars, but that was like to us a thousand dollars. And we got it. And to this day we're still sitting and the kids are now taller than I am. And we're still sitting at the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> yeah, no, I'm looking at the perspective of Matt sitting at my knee.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Look at that. Look at that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm not sitting in one of the normal chairs I have with there's an Ottoman right here. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So God, if you're listening to me, please help help us move the real table. I know, but nevermind. Anyway, welcome. Welcome back. Welcome back to our friendly world, everybody. So today, today, this show is really important to me because of the bond that I made with our very special guest who's here. Don't say anything yet. He's here. He's listening to...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[to contribute to our podcast, you can buy us "a cup of coffee" by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) here:  buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
We welcome our friend Joseph Krikorian as we explore the Armenian culture and history.
We're going to begin the root of the matter as we delve into coming from somewhere else and the ways of having to make our way in the world, all the while, carrying with us, all the emotions, the history, our stories, and our mapping out and figuring out a brave new one, a brave new world that is. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially with the trail of the people who came before us. Like our ancestors, grandparents, great-grandparents sometimes even parents, who may not have the stories or they do have the stories, but they're not passed down to us; all the why's, the how's and when's like, why did this happen? Not even knowing that we should be asking these questions because we have no idea, what happened in the past. What makes someone behave the way they do? What makes our household our home, have a certain vibe, or like a certain history?
to reach Joey:https://kryptontoalderaan.podbean.com/
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Are we ever going to get a new table? I feel like I got this table for us and I said, we'll have it forever, honey. But we're sitting, we got forever tables in the other room. Well, times were really tough and every dollar counted. And once we started to start to begin to get back on our feet, I saw it as a toddler picnic table.
I'm like, honey, we have to get it with an umbrella with an umbrella and chairs. And it was like under a hundred dollars, but that was like to us a thousand dollars. And we got it. And to this day we're still sitting and the kids are now taller than I am. And we're still sitting at the 
[00:00:41] Joey: yeah, no, I'm looking at the perspective of Matt sitting at my knee.
Right? 
[00:00:46] Fawn: Yeah. Look at that. Look at that. 
[00:00:49] Matt: I'm not sitting in one of the normal chairs I have with there's an Ottoman right here. 
[00:00:53] Fawn: So God, if you're listening to me, please help help us move the real table. I know, but nevermind. Anyway, welcome. Welcome back. Welcome back to our friendly world, everybody. So today, today, this show is really important to me because of the bond that I made with our very special guest who's here. Don't say anything yet. He's here. He's listening to...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Root of the Matter with Joseph Krikorian]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to contribute to our podcast, you can buy us "a cup of coffee" by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) here:  </span></span><span style="font-size:large;">buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We welcome our friend Joseph Krikorian as we explore the Armenian culture and history.<br /></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're going to begin the root of the matter as we delve into coming from somewhere else and the ways of having to make our way in the world, all the while, carrying with us, all the emotions, the history, our stories, and our mapping out and figuring out a brave new one, a brave new world that is. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially with the trail of the people who came before us. Like our ancestors, grandparents, great-grandparents sometimes even parents, who may not have the stories or they do have the stories, but they're not passed down to us; all the why's, the how's and when's like, why did this happen? Not even knowing that we should be asking these questions because we have no idea, what happened in the past. What makes someone behave the way they do? What makes our household our home, have a certain vibe, or like a certain history?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to reach Joey:<br /><a href="https://kryptontoalderaan.podbean.com/">https://kryptontoalderaan.podbean.com/</a><br /></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Are we ever going to get a new table? I feel like I got this table for us and I said, we'll have it forever, honey. But we're sitting, we got forever tables in the other room. Well, times were really tough and every dollar counted. And once we started to start to begin to get back on our feet, I saw it as a toddler picnic table.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, honey, we have to get it with an umbrella with an umbrella and chairs. And it was like under a hundred dollars, but that was like to us a thousand dollars. And we got it. And to this day we're still sitting and the kids are now taller than I am. And we're still sitting at the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> yeah, no, I'm looking at the perspective of Matt sitting at my knee.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Look at that. Look at that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm not sitting in one of the normal chairs I have with there's an Ottoman right here. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So God, if you're listening to me, please help help us move the real table. I know, but nevermind. Anyway, welcome. Welcome back. Welcome back to our friendly world, everybody. So today, today, this show is really important to me because of the bond that I made with our very special guest who's here. Don't say anything yet. He's here. He's listening to us right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, I'm so excited, but there's so much to get into. Literally like my brain has so many asides. Like I want to talk about this and that bear with me. I hope I don't go all over the place. I hope that I sound coherent. We're going to begin the root of the matter as we delve into coming from somewhere else and the ways of having to make our way in the world, all the while, carrying with us, all the emotions, the history, our stories, and our mapping out and figuring out a brave new one, a brave new world that is. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially with the trail of the people who came before us. Like our ancestors, grandparents, great-grandparents sometimes even parents, who may not have the stories or they do have the stories, but they're not passed down to us; all the why's, the how's and when's like, why did this happen? Not even knowing that we should be asking these questions because we have no idea the, what happened in the past. What makes someone behave the way they do? What makes our household our home, have a certain vibe or like a certain history?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like we just go along with things, especially when we're children, because I mean, we just go along with it. What's normal. I mean, everything is so new when you're born. So it's not. Well, I feel like our kids did. So maybe other kids do too. Like our babies, I feel like they questioned everything from the beginning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like they came in, they were like ambassadors of love. And they were like, what the heck is this? No, this has got to go. You know, like they just feel like we don't ask the questions because we don't even know because there's so much new coming at us. We're just trying to survive. And so today this is what I want to talk about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the thing is that since we may not have the stories that we can turn to, what we can do, is turn to our senses, especially, I think, our sense of taste and smell. That's where a lot of important information that's encoded in our lives comes through, like through food, through certain ceremonies that you may not think are even related to your culture.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are clues hidden in everything. And once we sit around the table and break bread and meet new people, we can make sense of where we all came from. Even if you think, well, I came from the United States. I've been here, my people have always been here. Well, no, they haven't. Um, you know what I mean, Matt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> absolutely. Once upon a time there was a land bridge between Asia and north America. So yeah, people went across there. I mean, if, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> if you want to talk about food, say if you go far enough back, uh, back. The almond is not even a nut. It's a fruit and it's two fruits coming together with actually our very special friend who's with us can probably explain all this, but like the mountains came crashing together and it created the almond.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Anyway, we'll talk about that on another show, which is what I used to talk about on the faith, in a seed, my cooking show. Anyway, guys, I have some questions for today before I introduce you to our beautiful friend. One is memories and food. Let me go back, like, let me go back to the first question I have is how do we express being anything?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do we express ourselves? How do we express being Armenian? How do we express being Persian, being American? You know, you fill in the blank. How do you express who you are, Matt, like where you come from? How do we express that culture? How do we express ourselves? I want to talk about memories and food, things maybe we can't express with words, come to a conversation and translation of its own around the table through generations. You have feelings like, I remember watching that movie "Like Water for Chocolate.". If any of you saw that, the main character, every emotion she has as she's cooking is actually being translated and embedded right into the food.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when she's crying and upset and she's a great cook. But she's preparing a meal as she's crying and the food is so beautiful and delicious. And as she serves it to the family, that the family has no idea what this character has been going through. But she was in the kitchen alone. She was preparing and her emotions were out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And as the family is sitting around the table, eating this delicious food, they all start weeping feeling her tears that went into the food. Do you understand what I'm saying? And, and that's how I feel about food also. So it's the, it's like the movie, "Like Water for Chocolate." That was the name of the movie.Did I already mention that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You did.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So it's like that. That's, where I want to go today and taking our emotions, but really exploring our history. And especially today, I want to talk about. The Armenian culture and the Armenian history to some extent. Obviously we're still trying to learn. We don't know everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're just, you know, we, I feel like, what do you say Matt? History is written by </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> history is written by the winners. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:03]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> History is written by usually the ones who are the bullies that win the fight. Right, right. So you don't necessarily have all the information, especially when you come from the other side of it and you have parents and great-grandparents who went through atrocious, horrible nightmares that they don't ever want to talk about again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the next generation has no clue what's happened. Right. And then they don't know how to communicate with their kids. And that's kind of where I came from. Like my parents. I mean, I barely spoke the same language. Now I feel like I've totally lost my language because we didn't really speak that much.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was raised in a completely different culture that they were raised in. Even my sisters, I was the youngest and I just adapted because we moved when I was very little. And so it was a completely different life. Anyway. Those are some questions I have. And what makes us come together at the table? It's usually hunger loneliness slash companionship, right? Come from exile, we get together at a table for a celebration for conversation, for safety, for learning new things, for brainstorming. I've noticed a lot of over the last couple of decades; it's the hip thing or it's a mandatory thing to have a meeting at the office over lunch. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Which by the way, I don't agree with, I feel like food is so sacred; that sacred space to nourish myself. Like I may not have the space or the capacity to keep going over lunch to talk about business, but it's interesting how businesses have also, knowingly or not knowingly come to the table to bring about conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The table is really important. Much like our little toddler table over here that has been our office for our podcasts and everything else. So anyway, I do have some other questions, but now, oh, Guys, I want to introduce you to a new friend of yours. I have a new friend for you out there. A new friend to introduce you to his name is Joseph Krikorian.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We call him Joey. He is really interesting. He's totally into SciFi. He's a scientist. Did you know that? I told you that. Yeah, he's a scientist. He grew up in New York, just outside of New York will tell you, he'll tell you all about it, but he has a really interesting story, a really interesting background.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">He's a geologist. There's so much about him. He has so many facets that are so rich and amazing. We met over zoom once again, one of my dear friends who I consider like family. But I haven't actually met in person yet because we met over the pandemic. We were talking in a group one day before the meeting started, cause you know, we usually have meetings about podcasting and you know, all these techniques and things we need to be up on. We were all from different places and different races.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we started talking about racism. And then of course, I don't know how it happened, but we veered towards food and we had the best conversation about racism and food and racism and tools in the kitchen. Really interesting talk, but then I was so delighted, because I've been wanting to reach out to Joey and I've put it out there, like, Hey, can we have a zoom here?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there? Like, I've, I've, I've posed this question to a few people. And then Joey sends me a note on the side saying, Hey, can we talk about the Armenian and Persian recipes together? I'm like, heck yes. So we had a meeting and viola, here we are. Everybody. Please meet our friend, Joey, your new friend, Joey, Joey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Welcome. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Thank you so much. What a great introduction. Yes, I am. Hello everyone. I'm your new friend. Yeah. As Fawn said, I'm Joey Krikorian, as you could tell, probably by the last name or hopefully now you're learning that last name is Armenian and yeah, I feel like I have so much to say already, based on your introduction Fawn, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have more to add you guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I forgot to mention he's also, well, I did kind of mention he's also a podcaster I'm not a Spotify geek, but can you, Matt, describe his podcast. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> His podcast is called Krypton to Alderaan, which kind of runs an interesting gamut because of course, Krypton is the home of Superman and Superman was the first superhero.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">God, I could geek out on this all day, but I'm going to try and be brief. And Alderon is of course where princess Leia Organa was raised and star wars and yeah, spoiler empire blows it up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> So. on a serious note, a very fitting sort of relation to the conversation we're going to have today, the empire Alderon blowing it up, that kind of thing, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> think, which leads us to the root of the matter, Joey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How certain cultures are completely destroyed by certain people. And how do you pick up and how do you carry on family? How do you carry on the stories? Joey? I know that, um, first of all, rewind for those friends that want to know more about Joey. His link is right there under this show, on the website.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So go to that because there is a, uh, Joseph Krikorian out there. There's a few. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Right. The big one is an Armenian pop star. Oh dear. So good luck. It's just fun to watch, you know what I recommend, like following that link to me, but I also recommend following a link to him on his music videos, listen to some of his music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. Um, so going back now, I know that you have your, your, your story is quite beautiful. I know that you were born in New York. Uh, was it the Bronx you're from the Bronx? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Well, I was born in the Bronx. I think that was kind of like a, an emergency stop between where my parents live and where my grandparents live.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I think they were, uh, either it was an emergency stop or that's where they agreed to meet sort of in the middle, uh, to have me be born. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, my God, Joey, that's a perfect term for it. Emergency stop. My family also had some emergency spots stops or spots. So I know that your great grandparents escaped Armenia and Turkey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yep. And that your great grandfather married your great grandmother who was Italian. So an Armenian and Italian. When we were having a conversation, it was hard to put all the pieces together. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We don't have all the pieces. We don't know exactly what happened. All we know is that these parents, grandparents, great-grandparents just, wouldn't speak about anything. And I wonder is it because it's so painful to talk about and you just want to forget about it? Is it because you want your children to just acclimate to this new place and blend in?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Do you want to spare </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">them the pain </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you, I mean, why do you think that they don't talk? People don't talk. And that's my main thing. Like Matt, Matt refuses to talk about certain painful things. And then I do, and then we ended up having a fight. Maybe that's it. You have fights. Right. But it's all good. A fight is good at the table because it's spirited conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because as long as you have respect, it's okay to fight. We need to figure it out and it's emotional. Voices may get very loud. It's okay. Because we love each other. And we're going to, we're going to find out, we need to find out our background anyway, back to you, Joey, please. I like how you described everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So tell me the whole story with your great-grandfather, whatever you can remember. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> My great grandparents, like you said, fled the Armenian genocide and came to America </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:56]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and The death march. They actually lived through the death March. They </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> survived. Yes. See that those are points in history that I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And no one ever talked about. So I don't know exactly where they were, you know exactly what part of the, uh, exactly where in the situation they were in, but they managed to get out and managed to get here. And so they had go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry. Can I interject, first of all, Armenia is I believe the oldest country in the.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now let's take a look at that. Yeah. And the richness of everything that comes with a culture . That's amazing. And it's, and it's, it, it makes me really sad that we don't know anything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. I that's a whole other sort of branch of this conversation is that if people, when people listened to this podcast for probably, or for maybe a significant amount of them, this is the first time they're hearing of the Armenian genocide or the extent to which it took place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, it's not taught in schools up until this year, it was not recognized as a genocide on the federal level. You know, that's something that happened this year. It was recognized on the state level in many states. So over a hundred years of not recognition from this country that it actually happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's really hard to, it's hard to, I don't know, gain traction, talking about that kind of thing with people, because they've never heard of it, you know, how could it be that they never heard of something that horrible happening and that, you know, the country that they live in has never recognized it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And for many Armenians who fled here for refuge, having living then in a country that refused to recognize it for various reasons, I can't imagine the toll that that had on people. And so, yeah, it's just crazy, and it's not something a lot of people have heard of. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, we talk about this all the time in our home, because there are so many cultures that have also gone through this, but we can't talk about it sometimes because I mean, just speaking about what happened with the Armenian people, you can end up dead. So do your own research out there, friends, um, figure it out because to this day we seriously can't say anything without having serious consequences. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Um, yeah. I, I would recommend for anyone listening that wants to know more, I mean, there's ample research. The great thing is that, uh, you know, we can Google anything now, but if you're wanting to read a wonderful book that goes through personal and, event history, it's called"A Hundred Year Walk" by Dawn Anahid MacKeen. It's a wonderful book. She goes, and retraces her grandfather's steps, who survived the death March and kept a journal. And so she finds his journals in, you know, they live in LA. Now she and her family live in LA. She finds her father's your grandfather's journals. And she goes over there and retraces his steps through, from beginning to end. So it's really incredible book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's filled with, like I said, personal and, and world history. And it's really interesting read. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:39]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what made you suddenly, I feel like it was a set, was it a sudden thing, Joey, like trying to figure out what exactly happened and where you came from and how did that happen for you and when did it happened?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> That's a great question. I probably can't put my finger on exactly when it happened, but like we were saying, like you were saying earlier, for a certain amount of generations afterwards, people don't want to talk about the atrocities that were committed against them. So I didn't know my great grandparents.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They had several children. One of them was my grandfather and I knew him and I spent a lot of time growing up with my grandmother. That's the grandfather that was Armenian that married my Italian grandmother. So I spent a lot of time of my childhood with them. There was never any Armenian talked about, you know, I knew our last name was Armenian.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I knew that, there was the Armenian genocide, that kind of thing was discussed a little bit, but we never had any other conversations about the culture or the food. We never had Armenian food, whatever that might be. We never had any of that. It was all the Italian stuff, which was great. Don't get me wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I loved it. Um, but I didn't know what I was missing. You know, so my grandfather died when I was 20. And after that, I just got into wanting to understand where my ancestors came from. Like I said, I was raised by these two people. So I identify heavily with those two with the Italian and Armenian side of my family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So after he died, I think I really got into researching and got and started to understand sort of what a,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">what a.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ah, what's the right word started to understand that it was lacking that I didn't ask him questions before, you know, when I had the chance. And I just didn't understand, like you were saying earlier, I didn't understand that I showed, I was a teenager and a 20 year old and caught up in my own world, but looking back, obviously we all look back and wish we could have done stuff differently.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just wish I could have gotten that personal experience. It's why I really love that book I mentioned earlier because she actually gets that and she has like the written documentation of it. But I would say that that's probably when I really started diving into it. And that opened the door to all the genealogy stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And fortunately, with the Italian side of things, it's easy. It's easier to trace back, right. Just from a desktop armchair. You know, family genealogical research with the Armenian stuff, you just hit a wall. I mean, you can't trace it any further back than when they got here. Uh, you know, and the, the people that were left, the very few Armenians that were left after world war one, scattered or during world war one, scattered.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so you, it's impossible to track down anybody you might've been related to, you know, they changed their names. So it's difficult to do the research, but that's my long-winded way of saying probably when I was 20. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I feel like when it's okay. I mean, I feel like I say, it's okay. Trying to express to you that it's never too late.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I feel like at that time where you became hyper aware of your background and your heritage, it was most likely your grandfather actually still talking to you and. Nothing like the perfect time is the perfect time is now to study and to learn because I do believe that the answers are there. I do believe that they are encoded in everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so which leads me to food because as we were talking about all this, it felt very familiar to me also, coming from being Persian Persians and Armenians are very close and our language is almost the same. If I dare say that I could be wrong, but there's so many words that are similar many words and our food is very similar and growing up, I always heard Armenian this Armenian that in such a lovely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">way like, oh, they're Armenian. It felt like a brotherhood sisterhood to me, just being an ignorant child, not knowing what's happening. I just, you know, you would hear about this other culture, but it felt like, oh, our brothers and sisters over here, you know, like, oh, that's a slight variation with the Armenian dish over here, as opposed to the slight variation of the same dish with the Persians over here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so when we bonded over food and spices and scents, I was like, yay. And it's so funny because you are, how do I say this? You know, you're living in the state, above our heads. And just, you know, over the border, in Wyoming, you are like, you would think that you're totally Caucasian, but the S the instant that I saw you, I was like, that's my family right there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I didn't know your background, Joey. I really didn't. I didn't know anything about you, but I felt the sense of family. Like, I, I always tell Matt, like, when I was really little, I could spot someone who was Persian from Iran. This is way before, um, there were a lot of Persians. In the United States, but I could spot them at five years old from three blocks away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I would start yelling at them, hello, in Farsi. And I could see them tensing up because they wanted to hide their culture. They wanted to hide who they were for survival reasons. Right. Cause you know, the middle east, like all the cultures in the middle east seem to be always the bad guys. And especially in the west, you don't ...to survive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You just don't want to be seen as anything. You just want to blend it. And here I am five years old in Farsi saying, hello, you know? And then when they would get closer, they would kind of nod to me that gangster nod. I shouldn't say gangster, but like they would like not to be like, yes. Hello.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What, uh, okay. A long-winded way of saying I recognized you Joey from, from far away through zoom. I knew there was a connection. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> That's great. I love that. And I should say, I am like very Caucasian. I'm very white. So it's, you know, uh, I don't know. It it's like, I'm very white. I'm trying to look into my Armenian and my middle Eastern roots.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I, you know, y'all talk a lot of about racism on this race, on this show and racism subsequently, but, uh, I guess I just wanna, I don't know. I guess I just want to put that out there. Like, I'm trying to understand my ancestors' culture and the culture of the middle east and, and the Persian culture and all of it as this, you know, I don't know, white guy in Wyoming, so yeah, just trying to understand all of it and I appreciate, and I'm very happy that you recognize me as that, Fawn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:43]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. And I just want to preface, I also want to say that, I, I hope I'm, I'm sure I sound terrible. Matt is always pointing out that I sound racist. Cause I'm like that white guy, the white guy, you know, I shouldn't, you know, I'm not please understand. I'm not disrespecting, I'm not trying to disrespect anybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just saying, I have felt so shut away and ignored that. All of a sudden, I, I woke up to like saying, Hey, you know, I, well, you're still </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that five-year-old kid who wants to say hello, five blocks away. I want </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to be recognized. I want to be seen also. And I, you know, I've always been ignored, so I'm like, hello.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please know that I have love for it comes from love, but it's also, yeah, it is that five year old in me that, Hey, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I completely get it. Now, if I could just interject for a moment, um, for our readers who are our listeners readers, our listeners who, don't have access to a map at this current point, I will tell you currently Iran and Armenia border each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's kind of no surprise. And if you take a look at Iraq, being the cradle of quote unquote, cradle of civilization, whatever that means, but if all culture started there and spread out, well, guess what, it's going to go through Iran. And then immediately to Armenia, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it started with Armenia. Armenia is actually the cradle of civilization and banner.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They are the ones by the way, which leads us to make sure you stick around for the end of the show. We have surprise for you, um, So Joey, where do we go from here? As we started to talk, you know, during our first one-on-one friendship talk immediately, we had one thing in common and it was a spice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sumac (Fawn pronounces it as So MOG, I call it sumac (SOMOG) </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you mean sumac? (Matt over emphasizes the American pronunciation) ).</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <span style="color:#b2b2b2;">()</span> Yes. So how do you use that spice? First of all, Matt, how do you in American terms, describe sumac. (SO MOG as Fawn pronounces it the Farsi way)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's this almost powdery, not really powdery. It's a little moist, but powdery, grainy, it's magenta, and it tastes like lemon. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:07]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it is the most amazing flavor, but Joey, I can only use it raw.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Persians, put it over a rice or over their, whatever proteins they're eating. What do you do with it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> So I just got these spices, these like different Armenian Persian that, you know, that, that set of spices several months ago. Um, I got the collection. Yes. And they're beautiful. It's really like a pieces of artwork up on the spice rack, but I have, I got them and I have a Lebanese friend who's a chef and I communicated with her and she taught me how to use them. And so I've been using sumac Sumach on basically anything that lemon with it. I mean, well, first of all, let me say, I don't want to curse on your show, but I put that S on everything. I have fallen in love with that spice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I use it a lot and I certainly don't have enough. I need like a, like a gallon Mason jar full of it, but this right here, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this way, every time. Well, when we used to have company over, this is what we would do. They, first of all, when company comes over to our home, they have to go through the heart forest, which those of you who have listened to our show know that when you come into our home, all the places we've lived, we create a heart forest . There are these cut-out heart shapes. They hang from from the ceiling. So as you come into our home, your forehead is kissed over and over by hearts. Like your head. You have to go through a forest of hearts and then we make you get into our kitchen after you've met the whole family, and we've given you drinks and food while you're still standing, by the way, first 30 seconds, then we open up all our spices and we were like, sniff this smell.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is our big, I don't know how many ounces. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> that said court size. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's a big Mason jar of some Sumac. It's one of the things we have people smell and we never let it get low. Never. No, I don't think Joey. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Love it. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. Oh dear. Here's the other one? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Those figs. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, we have those too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's another jar, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> here are the figs, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:50]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah. Look at this. These, can you see that they're dried lines, but they're special guidelines and the scent of a dried lime in a big jar like this, or, or any bag it is beautiful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It smells like summertime to me because it's lime. So it's feels, it evokes a lot of like lemon lime kind of, uh, aesthetic to me personally.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But see, that's interesting for you it's that. For me, it's all seasons, but I think. If mostly, if I were to put a season on it, it would be winter because we put it into our stews. Like you take three or four limes and he just put it in the stew and you let it get softened. And then, and then the beautiful black liquid that will come out of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What's weird is so you makea stew. So you make a stew yes, of course. Cause I make stews know my wife makes the stews, but day one, you're like, I can't tell it's there. And then it goes in the fridge comes back out day two there's some going on, but I'm not sure. Day three. Oh, it's right there. And you can't get enough of it, but it literally feels to me like it takes three days for it really to get in there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:07]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So these spices are not only linked to our heritage, but are family members right here. So not only do they have to meet our children and you know our home, but let us introduce you to our spice. You know, our, it's not a spice rack. It's a wall. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I love that. I love that. And maybe I will adopt. Wow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's really impressive. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:30]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And we're in a rental. So wait until we have a home once again, please God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Where do you get those? Do y'all have. Like a shop down there that where you can get that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:43]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So when we first met and we were having our friendly conversation, I was telling him the story about how I went when Matt and I got married, we moved to, uh, you know, we moved away far away and we were in this tiny little town kind of in the middle of nowhere on the tip of the continent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there was this, there was this, what do you call those stores that sell kitchen appliances, the fancy ones, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> kitchen stores, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know, culinary. Culenary So I was standing there and it's interesting that they even had this book there, but there was a, a Persian book there, a Persian cookbook, and I opened it up and I started to cry and I'm sure people thought I was crazy , but I cried because in this Persian</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">cookbook this author, the chef explained everything I had questions about, and that's when I realized, oh my God, I can, I can turn to food to have some of the deepest questions I have had my entire life be answered for me. And so to answer your question, where do we get our spices from at the back of this book, she had a whole index, like a whole, um, not index, but like a whole section of this is where you get this spice, and this is where you get this spice and they were all online. I'm like, so Joey online, Yeah, whatever culture it is put store after it and all these beautiful mom and pop </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> shop mom and pop huge internet enterprises. No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:26]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I like the mom and pop ones because like, I, we became friends with one of the mom and pop Persian stores from Atlanta.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We became friends with them and I cry, started crying all over again because of the way their emails were worded. I'm like, this is not normal. Like, are they talking to me like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well they would call you dear one and things? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. And I'm like, oh my God, it's because of my name. Oh, look at that. And then when we became friends with the owners, they're like, oh no, we train our staff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Speak that way with everybody. I'm like, oh, that's nice. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I thought I was special. You couldn't let me have this. Uh, but anyways, just, just for one second, just to just drag a little geek back into the world, just for a second, the town that we lived in was actually, um, a town that Frank Herbert author of dune really enjoyed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I believe he lived there really. I'm not kidding. And his kids still live around there </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> every town we've moved to, some famous author was there. And now we're in the place of Keven Keven sting, Stephen King. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, Steven came, did live in Boulder at </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> one point the whole, th that whole, um, you guys asked that shining the, yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we've been to that hotel.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's right, but it's not way up in the mountains. Up in the mountains, but it's surrounded by a big town. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> So I am very familiar. I am very passionate about Stephen King as well. And the shining is one of my favorite books I've ever read. And the sequel book to the shining that this is way off topic, but the sequel book to the shining that he wrote like six, seven years ago now is probably my favorite book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's see. Our little girl has been for a few years now. Obsessed with Stephen King. No, Harry Potter. Couldn't be bothered. Steven's king little girl. My baby. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Me personally. "The Stand" yes. Everything else. Stephen King. I don't like being creeped out that much. I'm okay with it in "The Stand", but on a bridge no less.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, but uh, yeah, I, I kinda don't like being creeped out when I read. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> I love it. I love it. I don't know. It's part of my. Uh, geek or nerd, identification. I love that kind of stuff. I love horror movies. I love being scared and I love Star Wars. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Speaking of being scared, I know. And, and also the woods, I know that when you were a kid, you were obsessed with being out in nature in the woods, staring at rocks, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Joey. And so which reminds me of the stories you began to tell me about your, your grandmother, right grandmother. A great grandmother. Great grandmother. Great grandmother. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> hard to keep everything. Oh my God. Hold on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was your great grandmother.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because you were talking about how she had a hunting lodge and that no one would hunt because she would prepare all these beautiful meals. As a vegan. I'm like, yay. That is so beautiful. Tell us more about that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> She, this is my Italian great grandmother, so I don't know. Maybe I should make a flow chart for putting up with this episode, but yes, my Italian great grandmother moved out of the city.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And she and her husband bought this hunting lodge or what they turned into a hunting lodge and yeah, so she would cook these incredible Italian meals for days. I mean, they'd cook for days. The legend goes that the hunters would show up and Their plan being to obviously go out and hunt, but no one would be, everyone was so infatuated with her food that no one would leave the place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Nice. And it was incredible food. I mean, maybe I'm biased, but it was incredible. And she was just also an incredible woman. I mean, just like she, she fought for women's rights. She was part of the beginning of the garment workers union in New York. She bought, you know, they bought this hunting lodge and she helped to run the business.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She did so much, and she made so much including food in this world and she was just an incredible human being. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So she and your great Armenian grandfather. Do you know how they met? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> So she, uh, Z it's, it's so complicated. She married an Italian guy. They were both Italian. Her daughter was the one who married the Armenian, my Armenian grandfather.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I'm actually not sure how they met, you know, that's another thing that I don't know, maybe my father knows, but that I've never asked about to my recollection, I guess. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So, oh my God, Joey. We've got to find out how they met. That's. One of my big things is like, how do people meet, how do they meet their loves? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Right. I will find out. We'll do. Do a followup, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Even the most banal stories can be just so intriguing due to the time you know, crossing cultures is always interesting as far as how that was actually managed to happen, particularly looking backwards.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Right. And in New York city, both of their families came to New York city. And then, and to some extent, still now, you know, New York city is comprised of these cultural groups, these, you know, concentrated cultural groups. And so I assume that they've met there when these groups were in too far away from each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But yeah, question worth asking now that I'm like talking about wanting to know more about my family history, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. And oftentimes though cultures, yes, they will, to some extent melt, but marriage. That's a much bigger thing and that usually involves some angst somewhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So overcoming that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> for sure. And then also speaking about groups. Why do you suppose certain groups end up in certain spots? Like I know the Armenian and Persian culture are very big in Los Angeles and New York. What was the term you use Joey? The emergency stop.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> One of our emergency stops was New York and then we went, we made it out to LA and when my family, I think, went out to LA, there were hardly any Persian people out there. Nobody, that's why it was so weird for me to spot somebody. And when I did, I would yell at them like yell, hello in Farsi. And so I'm wondering ,how does that really happen?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, um, my theory was that one person will go there and it becomes this anchor this light that you can get drawn to. I was telling Joey that when I was a student in Europe, when I was studying in England and I would go to Europe, I would on my breaks, I would go to Paris or something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I remember this one day from far, far, far away, I saw someone about my age blonde. So my opposite. She turned around and she had a sweatshirt on and. I think it said Nebraska and I yelled at her the way I yelled to the Persian guy when I was five years old, three blocks away. Hello. I was like, waving Nebraska.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hey, Hey. And so she was American and I was like, oh my God, what a lucky, fortunate event that I I'm seeing you you're from the United States??? Girl, so am I! do you know what I mean? Like we're drawn together for safety reasons, probably, you know, it's , that primal need to stick together right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For safety reasons. Right. And so, anyway, like I met so many people like that because of a sweatshirt or a t-shirt, but it's interesting. I think that if there's any kind of a hint of some kind of relation, even if it's not directly relation related, it is like, oh my God, we come from the same place. We don't have to go and retell our stories again, because you know, I don't have to go through the effort of explaining myself to you because I can relax and in knowing that you know me and so we can form a community together. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> It's so funny that you say that because thinking about it now, it seems like I'm the exact opposite of that. You know, when it comes to all this stuff, I'm like I said, I'm very white, you know, I'm very white skinned.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So when I'm in these situations where like I see an Armenian person or we're around Armenian people, I feel very reserved and held back about doing that kind of thing about being like, Hey, I'm Armenian, you're in Armenian. You know what I mean? Because I don't know we were at this Lorelei, my partner and I, few months ago, we were in New York and we went to this Armenian festival.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's just like the first time I've ever been to anything like that. Right. We didn't, like I said, we didn't do stuff like that. We didn't step over into the Armenian culture when I was younger. And we were just surrounded by all these Armenian people and it was amazing and it was awesome to see and they had food and it was awesome to eat.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I just wanted to go up to some of the people. It was at a church, it was at an Armenian church, which, you know, I don't, I don't, I'm not religious. I don't know how to interact with any of that kind of stuff either. So, but there was a priest there and I thought, an Armenian priest. And I was like, oh, maybe he's someone I could go up and talk to and get information, you know, I'm so curious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause you asked before you asked at the very beginning, you know, how do you express being who you are? Like, how do I express being Armenian? And I don't know how to do that. Like I have never been, there was no learning atmosphere when I was a kid. So I'm just learning all of it now. And a lot of it, like we've been talking about is through food, but pandemic times there's no one really to share that with unfortunately.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But my point is that I don't know how to express that. So I really wanted to ask these questions to somebody that I think about having asked my grandfather and never doing and not having the opportunity to now, but I feel so reserved and uncomfortable as crappy as that is to say, going up a random Armenian person and starting that conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's also, you know, I now have understand that my grandfather didn't talk about it for a reason, whatever it was, everything that had happened, which was terrible, like two-thirds of the population was killed. So a horrible event to go through, even though he was the next generation, the horrible events that have happened in very recent times.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And very little people left to talk with it about, of, of your own people. And again, living in a country that didn't recognize it then, and didn't recognize it for a hundred years. So my point is, I didn't know how to express it and they, I think. In their reservation to talk about stuff like that gave up on what you, what we've been talking about, like the sense of taste and the sense of smell and all of that, connecting them to something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because I think that that connection was hard to heal. So I just don't interact with those people in the same way as you, as you're explaining that you do. I really wish I did. Maybe if I like had a few drinks of Armenian wine and maybe I like have the courage to go up to them and talk </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">about that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's where a friendship comes in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, you know, thank God we've become friends because I've become quite like, I feel like I'm a Renegade because someone not liking me is of no consequence to me anymore. I don't care. But at the same time, I still sense that fear that I grew up with, because I was told when I went to school, don't let people know who you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I would physically be literally be told that by parents don't let them know our religion. Don't let them know where we just don't. And I still carry that with me. And, but I'm also watching the world and I'm seeing that once where immigrants felt comfortable being in the United States, because it was the land of the free and they could look at a Yiddish newspaper on the subway and not be killed for it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They were like proud of that. But I feel like once again, that the tides have turned and you can't do that anymore, that you can't really tell people who you are, because there's so much confusion and hate because of the confusion happening right now that it's scary to let people know who you are. As I'm talking on our podcast and telling you I'm Persian, I have a little fear.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">God honest truth. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, if I may be so bold, I think that there is a give and take to it. I think that there are certainly scenarios where it's okay. And you let your quote unquote freak flag flier, you let your Armenian flag fly, let your Persian flag fly. And honestly, if it was me, God offering advice that I shouldn't be offering, you know, you just literally have to say the equivalent of hello in Armenian and that's it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that lets them know that, you know, something now that may be literally the only thing, you know, how to say, but all of a sudden you're presenting yourself as somebody who's going to be respectful of the culture regardless. And then they'll find out that you're family and because you're Armenian and then that's another level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I've, I've seen my wife do this with people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:41]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Joey. I do this all the time. The first time I had to actually physically realize this is what I need to do. And like consciously do it was, I've talked about this on the show before, but we were on a train, a very long Amtrak train ride. And Matt is a great debater and Matt is very Caucasian, very American white, hello, look at him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, he, so you wouldn't think like when we're together, people don't think we're together, you know? So anyway, we were on this train and this kid, sorry, friends, who've heard this before. I make it very quick just for Joey, but like this kid from Berkeley hops on the train, because he is going to a debate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was on a debate team. And so he came from two mothers. So he came from the whole LGBTQ family. And this was a while ago, and this was a long time ago. And so, and he was going on a debate and he actually totally believed in what he was debating. Like he, what were we talking about? We're talking about medicine vaccines, ironically.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Isn't that strange, this was years ago and how we should offer vaccines to, we should offer medicine to all the nations. It's really important that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we should even provide the recipes to other nations. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So this was years ago, Joey. And so Matt was like, okay, so this is your debate. I'm really good at debating.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So Matt's like, Matt literally told him, look, I will play devil's advocate. So I'm going to just go against you so you, I can help you practice. So that was their, that was their, um, what do you call it? That was their agreement. The passengers on the train did not hear that part.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So they start their debate and Matt is loud. Matt, look, Matt belongs on stage because he can project. And when he's pontificating and when he's debating, what do you mean? He gets really loud. And so Matt, as he was playing devil's advocate sounded like the biggest racist person on the planet. And to my horror, I started looking around going, oh, cause that was the only non-white person on the train.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Even this guy was white. So all of a sudden people were cheering Matt on and I got scared, Joey, because they were getting rowdy. And this poor little guy, little guy, he was, he was, he was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> 18 ish, you know, 18, 19. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So he was in high school. Right. 18, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> maybe on the correct side of the argument, but now he's got a train full of people against him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:30]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, Matt totally agreed with his argument, but like I said, he was playing devil's advocate, but the passengers didn't know that. So going back to food, what had happened was, as I was sinking in my seat, trying to not be noticed as I'm sitting next to this guy, my husband I'm like, what am I going to do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because once this guy, thankfully, his stop was close by. So he got off the train. And by the way, when he got off the train, the whole train booed and her, uh, her raid, they were like,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">yeah, guy. And it was, and then I was like, So hello. So Joey, I go in my bag . When we travel, we carry our own, I carry food and stuff with us. So I started to take out these beautiful cookies and whenever I had in our bag and offering them to people and these eight, this angry mob turned smiling and thankful in an instant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we became not friends, but like friendly. So food is a great connector to understanding one another or at least calming down, you know, maybe leveling the blood sugar a little bit. I don't know. Anyway. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> honestly, I think that that argument goes back and forth spices. I think absolutely can connect everyone, but sometimes people take a look at some of the quote-unquote food and they're like, oh, I mean, you know, in the south they eat a hog jaws, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a little tough </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for me. That's a little tough to understand for me. And there's other cuisines around the world that everybody, you know, comments on jokes about, um, you know, by the way, live, live and let live, you know, um, is, is firmly my motto. That's just a little tough for me and that's me being honest, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but here's where the thing comes in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like as a, as a child and, you know, as an immigrant child going to elementary school and showing up with my bagged lunch and being ridiculed, actually I was never ridiculed. My friends were ridiculed. I had a vibe on me. People didn't mess with, maybe they knew my violence, kindergarten self. I had a past and kindergarten Joey, I did.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had a past, I would knock kids out. Like it was crazy that I never got in trouble. Um, but anyway, which leads me to this, the drive to get accepted can drive us away from who we are, where we came from and our whole family, because showing up with a bagged lunch that has a different spice or scent to it, than peanut butter and jelly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the question, the way it's posed, like "What's THAT?!" Is so triggering for immigrants or for anyone that's different. Sure. Not just immigrants, but it is so triggering. And so we were talking about like, maybe some of this started to shift, uh, during the movie, "The Breakfast Club", when Molly Ringwald had sushi for lunch, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> compared all the different lunches that they had, the jock had plenty had way too much food.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, but Ally Sheedy had a pixie sticks and bread. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right, right, right. But like to have sushi and there was a big deal for me because I had a friend who would come to school with sushi and she was totally Caucasian. Like you would look at her, look like Midwestern girl, white, middle Western, all American girl.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But she would show up with sushi because her parents were hippies, but you know, she, but she was an outcast because of the sushi. Do you know what I mean? So like little by little we'll get accepted because once people start tasting things, they're like, oh yeah. And then maybe on a molecular level, they start remembering their own heritage on some level and therefore more accepting and more loving and more, uh, nourishing themselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But other people as well in their speak, in their, their vision of what our society is and could be, or has been. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Right. Well, it's very important to have that, to bridge the gaps, right? Like we talked about food being that connector. I talked with Jolene Jang, uh, stop Asian hate activist on my podcast about stop Asian, hate everywhere and in pop culture and in Star Wars and stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she had mentioned the same thing, you know, going to school as a kid with quote, weird food. And being ridiculed and as much as that's changing now, right? Like all of these different cultural foods are becoming destinations. All of these different restaurants are becoming destinations and maybe we'll learn, you know, maybe this country will learn that like Chinese food shouldn't be cheap, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like that's a thing, like it's a cheap option. And that's why everybody goes to it, but like quality ingredients and where they are sourced from and stuff like that, it all deserves to be paid for what it is worth. And the spiteful New Yorker in me wants to say has less love than you. I would say for it, like wants to say, no, you didn't want this then.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's mine now. You know what I mean? Like you thought my food was weird when you were bullying me in elementary school, but. Now it's mine and you can't have it. And so there, uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:29]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so it's still fine and you should totally feel that and embrace that. And, and trust me, you will get over it and you'll want to have a large table filled with great conversation music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yeah. I also want people to try this stuff. I also want, because you know, I, I want everyone to understand everyone, right. That's just where we're at in the world. Everyone just understand everyone and be okay with everyone and we'll all get by. Um, and so, and food is the best bridge for that. Like you're saying inviting people in, like, we have to be the people who understand that, to invite people in and add that as a link in the chain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> always started to change. We always talk about it's important to be a good host, so, yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right? Yeah. The key here. Nourishment, you know, we talk about on our show all the time, uh, the term comes up quite a bit of capacity. People don't have the capacity for friendship anymore. Why? So we get to the root of that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what we talk about constantly is what is at the root of that? What is the root of this particular matter? It's because we are extended beyond belief with stress, even if it's stress that you don't even, you're not even aware of; it's passed down to you generation to generation. You may not know the exact when's why's how's of it, but it's in your blood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like the African-American population has hypertension because it's the stress from generations. That's embedded in everything, right? And I think the key, this is why proper nutrition is important. And by nutrition, I'm talking about nourishment and nourishment comes in the form of food. It comes in the form of art, conversation, music. And it can be all brought to the table. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So I have a special ask of you, Joey, are you ready? I am ready. I want to continue this conversation. And I, I have an assignment for you for me and for our friends listening, we're going to bring in Joey's expertise here as a geologist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> And try </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> my best. And I want you to incorporate geology with anthropology and archeology. Are you ready? Sure. So there is this, and please forgive me, my Armenian friends out there. I'm mispronouncing everything. And please, if you could come on our show and help me pronounce things properly, that would be amazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And maybe we could share some other ideas and I can learn some more and Joey can learn some more also, but me, especially I'm I'm I really need to learn. I was wondering if we could all do. Uh, bread together and break this bread together on the show. Besides photography, when the kids were born, I'm like, well, photography is so hard and I'm always on location.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It'll just be easier and better. I'll have way more time if I was a baker. So it's a joke. I mean, I became a baker. I started my own vegan bakery. It was ridiculous. I cried all day every day. Talk about no time for anything. And I was exhausted, but anyway, um, I'm really obsessed with baking and I had to show the wish baker faith in a seed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I want to, I've always wanted to continue that on with our friendly world because of everything we talked about today, because it is about friendship and I would like to make bread and break it with all of you guys. So I'm going to give you a simple list of ingredients. Everyone go get, if you can, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and these will be posted in the show notes as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes, there'll be in the show notes, but I was wondering if we could make an Armenian Gata bread, G a T a Ghada, or I would've said gotta, but they were saying Ghada online. It's a beautiful sweet bread. I actually grew up with this Joey. Oh yeah. Yeah, I did. And so it's, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> it's something that I've never had again, like I I've just started collecting these Armenian cookbooks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, I bought a few at that Armenian festival that I was talking about earlier. And so there are all these recipes in it of stuff I've obviously never had, but I just came across this or I just came across a like blog post about this bread the other day. I think it was maybe it was an Instagram post from a baker that I follow on Instagram and get his newsletter, Andrew Janjgian I think is how you pronounce his last name, but he owns a bakery called word loaf. And I think it's somewhere in Massachusetts. Anyway, give, give world word w O R D loaf a follow, and he's got amazing pictures of all of this, all of these Armenian breads and Asian and middle Eastern breads and stuff like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I want to start with this bread, Joey, because for several reasons, but this dessert , it's an actual dessert, it's very rich and heavy and light at the same time. It is incredibly nourishing to the soul. It is beautiful. It's a major dessert served at the most important celebrations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's often called the Jewel of the feast table. So I thought it's befitting for our gatherings at our table at our friendly world for us to sprout this off with creating this beautiful ceremonial bread. It's the queen of Armenian dessert is what it's called.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's the nickname for it. So you guys, please get, by the way, I'm going to tell you eggs, but you know, you all know I'm vegan and I'm going to make the vegan version with you. I'm going to tell you how and Joey, you're more than welcome to do the vegan version with me, or you can do your own, but we're going to on our next podcast, we're going to bake together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As we're talking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> 100% love that. Here is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the list of ingredients for our ceremony bread. You need two eggs instead of eggs, us vegans are going to use aquafaba, which is the best egg replacement.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And what you do is you can use it out of the can. I don't. I always, boil chickpeas. It's the water from beans and chickpeas work the best. If you want to make anything Meringue, by the way, if you beat a little bit of this with some cream of tartar it makes better stiff white peaks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like how people beat egg whites. It's better to use aquafaba because you get stiffer the most amazing white peaks. We need two eggs. So get yourself some, aquafaba. You can just get the, chick pea cans, or you can boil, two to four cups of chickpeas in a big pot of water and save that water.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It'll be kind of gelatinized the liquid and that's what we want. You want to save that you want to strain that part and put it in a jar. A mason jar. My favorite, I can't get enough and just put it in the fridge. So we need two eggs. I would say I'm going to veer away from the recipe and add my own Persian flavor to it, which is actually probably Armenian.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Also we need dates, I would say maybe eight to 10 dates. A handful of walnuts I say half a cup of sugar guys, but, uh, for vegans out there, you know what to do for sugar. So evaporated cane juice. We need three cups of flour, one package of instant yeast. You need baking soda, a little salt, just to be safe, two sticks of butter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We don't actually use two sticks of butter, but have two sticks of butter handy. And for my vegan friends, you know what to do for butter. You can get any vegan butter out there, or you can even use coconut oil, some vanilla extract, some cardamom not necessary, but I would put in some cardamom, cinnamonum, rosewater guys, the best rose water is Cortaz, C O R T a S.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Again, you don't need to use the rose water and it needs to be rosewater like middle Eastern rosewater. This is not perfume guys. Okay. It is edible rosewater and it is divine. And that's it. How do we bring geology and archeology and all that into it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's the decoration of this bread that is key. Joey, they have stamps that they have traced to I don't have my notes in front of me, but like basically the beginning of civilization, they have these I'll show you pictures. I'll share it with you and we'll share it with our friends on the next show, but they found these stamps, that date back</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">many many, many, many, many thousands of years. And these are the stamps that are used on this bread, because it is a ceremonial bread. It is for, it has its purpose for a certain deities. I'll share more information on our next show, it's really beautiful the designs and each design has a certain meaning to it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Matt. Anything, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> can I ask a question real quick? Do you all have, maybe this is a question for our baking episode, but I'm going to do it now. So I know what to do. Do you all adjust have to adjust the recipe like I'm at 7,200 feet and I don't know how to bake anything here, everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I have to like change the ratios of everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:41]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt is probably laughing. First of all, I never follow a recipe. Second of all, we have moved like nomads so many times and each oven is a different animal. And then moving to a high altitude. I still can't tell you what the difference is because we've moved so many times at sea level and then up here at high altitude that I'm still perplexed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's one of the reasons I don't follow recipes. I just kind of just look at it and feel for it. And you know what, I smell for it when something starts smelling, I'm like, it's time to take it out. Right. Whereas Matt wants exact measurement and exact time. He has a timer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's good to know 20 minutes versus, you know, looking at it after </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> five.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:29]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So to answer your question, I don't know. And also on our next show, I want to get into scent because we were talking about smells and it started to bring back memory for you. I could see it on your face, Joey. Yeah. So I want to talk about that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> um, can I just ask one question? What kind of flower, because there's a million different types </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> of all purpose flour.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We use Einkorn flour, which is from Italy. It's an ancient grain, all purpose flour guys. No big deal. So please don't panic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> Yep. It's a good opportunity for me to get potentially emotional. I mean, I was getting a little emotional when we were talking about this sense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And just now, when I was talking about like, not going up to ask people at the Armenian festival questions and stuff, you know, I think I'm relatively hesitant sometimes to do this kind of thing or dip my toe. I don't know why, but this is how we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:29]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> express ourselves. This is exactly how you do it. And like Joey, get some of the rosewater, splash it around, put it in your tea, throw it in the air.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm telling you, put it on your forehead.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's how you express it. My friend actually, that's my way. So I don't know, but we'll just start from here and we'll see where we end up. Sure. We'll see you in a few days and our next show. Joey, are you ready? I'm ready. Get your ingredients, everybody. We love you so much. Thank you for listening. Ooh, can I just put a plug out there?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">First of all, make sure you reach Joey Joey's link is right there in our show notes, but. Can you guys buy us a cup of coffee? I put the coffee. What's that app called? Buy me a coffee. If you like what we're doing, if you want to support our thing over here, may I be so bold and brave to ask you to please buy us a cup of coffee?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whatever you can spare would be amazing. I thank you. Okay. That's it. Anything you want to add? Yeah. Can I put in a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Joey:</strong></span> quick plug? Yes, please. Just, for anyone out there who is listening to this that is Armenian. Like I said, I'm I have questions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'd love to talk to people. I haven't had many Armenians in my life to talk to. So if you're listening and you'd like to talk, please reach out to all of my contact info will be through that link that that Fawn is putting in the. In the show notes. So please, please, please reach out. Got it. And on our website.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Perfect. Thank you for letting me say that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Of course Joey! We got to expand our friends circle, right? Absolutely. Anything you want to add, Matt? He's shaking his head. No. All right. We love you all. We'll see you in a few days. Get your ingredients. I cannot wait to break bread with you. Thank you everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">See you soon. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[to contribute to our podcast, you can buy us "a cup of coffee" by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) here:  buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
We welcome our friend Joseph Krikorian as we explore the Armenian culture and history.
We're going to begin the root of the matter as we delve into coming from somewhere else and the ways of having to make our way in the world, all the while, carrying with us, all the emotions, the history, our stories, and our mapping out and figuring out a brave new one, a brave new world that is. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially with the trail of the people who came before us. Like our ancestors, grandparents, great-grandparents sometimes even parents, who may not have the stories or they do have the stories, but they're not passed down to us; all the why's, the how's and when's like, why did this happen? Not even knowing that we should be asking these questions because we have no idea, what happened in the past. What makes someone behave the way they do? What makes our household our home, have a certain vibe, or like a certain history?
to reach Joey:https://kryptontoalderaan.podbean.com/
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Are we ever going to get a new table? I feel like I got this table for us and I said, we'll have it forever, honey. But we're sitting, we got forever tables in the other room. Well, times were really tough and every dollar counted. And once we started to start to begin to get back on our feet, I saw it as a toddler picnic table.
I'm like, honey, we have to get it with an umbrella with an umbrella and chairs. And it was like under a hundred dollars, but that was like to us a thousand dollars. And we got it. And to this day we're still sitting and the kids are now taller than I am. And we're still sitting at the 
[00:00:41] Joey: yeah, no, I'm looking at the perspective of Matt sitting at my knee.
Right? 
[00:00:46] Fawn: Yeah. Look at that. Look at that. 
[00:00:49] Matt: I'm not sitting in one of the normal chairs I have with there's an Ottoman right here. 
[00:00:53] Fawn: So God, if you're listening to me, please help help us move the real table. I know, but nevermind. Anyway, welcome. Welcome back. Welcome back to our friendly world, everybody. So today, today, this show is really important to me because of the bond that I made with our very special guest who's here. Don't say anything yet. He's here. He's listening to...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:14:32</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Map with the Magical Cartographers]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Dec 2021 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-the-map-with-the-magical-cartographers</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-the-map-with-the-magical-cartographers</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Today's topic is turning to friends for direction as we introduce you to 4 new friends-The Magical Cartographers (Ish, KJ, Jocelyn, and Mel). Today's art of friendship is the art of the map. Inside of each person is a map. It is there even before we are born, a way to get the full picture of the full landscape is to share what is contained in our hearts because it is our hearts that hold the latent image.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:large;">Side note: If you would like to support our show: <span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Today's topic is turning to friends for direction. Today's art of friendship is the art of the map. Inside of each person is a map. It is there even before we are born, a way to get the full picture of the full landscape is to share what is contained in our hearts, because it is our hearts that hold the latent image.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now latent image. That's my photography term. It's the image held within the silver emulsion that comes to light during the process. So to get that latent image to come to life, we share our stories and our ways. How do we course and navigate the geography and terrain of our lives during a time of change, turbulence, shakeups, and movement, while looking for our original family members? The art of the map is mapping out ways to have lasting friendships; the friendship that has existed in an out of time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Imagine if you will a map you could only feel -a blueprint. What if, while we are here, we actually are surrounded by our spirit family and to find them, we would have to unravel all the signs and the coincidences to realize the hidden codes that are there. That have always been there that reveal our friendship, our family alliance. And to do that, we have to have gumption; the bravery to stop everything when you notice a spark and say, hold it right there; asking an opening question, saying, I want to connect with you. It's about asking and opening ourselves up to the mystery of us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we were talking about maps, Matt and I have always had a love of maps. Matt, you were saying maps are very psychic, right? You were saying that a map gives you direction. It shows where you are and where you want to go. It's very comforting to know what turns are coming. And I think that's what friendship is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, no friendship is to me, more like a scavenger hunt. It's more like having maybe even an incomplete map that was hand drawn by somebody because you kind of know, or you think, you know, when you walk out your door that you want to climb a mountain, but then you end up in town because life has this annoying, wonderful habit of pushing you into directions maybe you didn't know you wanted to take. So for me, yes, maps are psychic. Maps are omniscient. Maps are just beautiful things. I mean, you know, in the squares of the map, it contains every single street, every single, et cetera, et cetera. But life is more unanticipated. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[...</span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Today's topic is turning to friends for direction as we introduce you to 4 new friends-The Magical Cartographers (Ish, KJ, Jocelyn, and Mel). Today's art of friendship is the art of the map. Inside of each person is a map. It is there even before we are born, a way to get the full picture of the full landscape is to share what is contained in our hearts because it is our hearts that hold the latent image.
Side note: If you would like to support our show: buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 

Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Today's topic is turning to friends for direction. Today's art of friendship is the art of the map. Inside of each person is a map. It is there even before we are born, a way to get the full picture of the full landscape is to share what is contained in our hearts, because it is our hearts that hold the latent image.
Now latent image. That's my photography term. It's the image held within the silver emulsion that comes to light during the process. So to get that latent image to come to life, we share our stories and our ways. How do we course and navigate the geography and terrain of our lives during a time of change, turbulence, shakeups, and movement, while looking for our original family members? The art of the map is mapping out ways to have lasting friendships; the friendship that has existed in an out of time. 
Imagine if you will a map you could only feel -a blueprint. What if, while we are here, we actually are surrounded by our spirit family and to find them, we would have to unravel all the signs and the coincidences to realize the hidden codes that are there. That have always been there that reveal our friendship, our family alliance. And to do that, we have to have gumption; the bravery to stop everything when you notice a spark and say, hold it right there; asking an opening question, saying, I want to connect with you. It's about asking and opening ourselves up to the mystery of us.
So we were talking about maps, Matt and I have always had a love of maps. Matt, you were saying maps are very psychic, right? You were saying that a map gives you direction. It shows where you are and where you want to go. It's very comforting to know what turns are coming. And I think that's what friendship is. 
[00:02:19] Matt: Yes, no friendship is to me, more like a scavenger hunt. It's more like having maybe even an incomplete map that was hand drawn by somebody because you kind of know, or you think, you know, when you walk out your door that you want to climb a mountain, but then you end up in town because life has this annoying, wonderful habit of pushing you into directions maybe you didn't know you wanted to take. So for me, yes, maps are psychic. Maps are omniscient. Maps are just beautiful things. I mean, you know, in the squares of the map, it contains every single street, every single, et cetera, et cetera. But life is more unanticipated. 
[...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Map with the Magical Cartographers]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Today's topic is turning to friends for direction as we introduce you to 4 new friends-The Magical Cartographers (Ish, KJ, Jocelyn, and Mel). Today's art of friendship is the art of the map. Inside of each person is a map. It is there even before we are born, a way to get the full picture of the full landscape is to share what is contained in our hearts because it is our hearts that hold the latent image.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:large;">Side note: If you would like to support our show: <span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Today's topic is turning to friends for direction. Today's art of friendship is the art of the map. Inside of each person is a map. It is there even before we are born, a way to get the full picture of the full landscape is to share what is contained in our hearts, because it is our hearts that hold the latent image.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now latent image. That's my photography term. It's the image held within the silver emulsion that comes to light during the process. So to get that latent image to come to life, we share our stories and our ways. How do we course and navigate the geography and terrain of our lives during a time of change, turbulence, shakeups, and movement, while looking for our original family members? The art of the map is mapping out ways to have lasting friendships; the friendship that has existed in an out of time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Imagine if you will a map you could only feel -a blueprint. What if, while we are here, we actually are surrounded by our spirit family and to find them, we would have to unravel all the signs and the coincidences to realize the hidden codes that are there. That have always been there that reveal our friendship, our family alliance. And to do that, we have to have gumption; the bravery to stop everything when you notice a spark and say, hold it right there; asking an opening question, saying, I want to connect with you. It's about asking and opening ourselves up to the mystery of us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we were talking about maps, Matt and I have always had a love of maps. Matt, you were saying maps are very psychic, right? You were saying that a map gives you direction. It shows where you are and where you want to go. It's very comforting to know what turns are coming. And I think that's what friendship is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, no friendship is to me, more like a scavenger hunt. It's more like having maybe even an incomplete map that was hand drawn by somebody because you kind of know, or you think, you know, when you walk out your door that you want to climb a mountain, but then you end up in town because life has this annoying, wonderful habit of pushing you into directions maybe you didn't know you wanted to take. So for me, yes, maps are psychic. Maps are omniscient. Maps are just beautiful things. I mean, you know, in the squares of the map, it contains every single street, every single, et cetera, et cetera. But life is more unanticipated. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So you just want to disagree with me to disagree with me because I said that the map is what's inside of our hearts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Did I not say that? Or did I write that somewhere else? Forgot about it. That's what I'm saying. Or our hearts are the map, but life. Yeah. Life is a scab scavenger, is scavenger hunt. It's terrible. That makes me think of cultures and stuff like scavenging scavenge. What's the word scavenger hunt?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, it's not, it's not nice. But yeah, it, it is, like I said, it's a mystery of us. It's about you, of all people, Mr. Code, you should know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about there's a mystery out there to unravel. There's so many clues out there and we all are connected. So like to unravel every beautiful little clue and realize, oh my God, we have been connected all along.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And finally by some mystical force and right timing, whatever you want to call it, we have come together as friends, or we will come together as friends. And there's that hope. But anyway, so what now you're quiet. Did I offend you. No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> not at all. Not at all, but you know, for me, it's. It's more of a psychic phenomena to understand when you're on your path when good things are going to come, it's not to me, this omniscient piece of paper that holds my fate and my destiny.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's, it's much more esoteric to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Look, I, to find you or I let's, it's all about friendship, all relationships, but I'll like, describe the way we met. It. Took all these windy paths for me to finally get to where you were. We actually had like this whole thing where we came together within yards of one, another 13 years before we met and we felt each other, but I couldn't turn around to look at you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I sensed you. But it, the force was so big and I was engaged to somebody else. I didn't, I didn't turn around. You know what I mean? So finally, I mean, getting to the day of me finally getting to you was the day with the help of friends who led me to this bizarre Aikido school martial arts school that you were in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had no idea, but like, first of all, I couldn't even get there and I didn't have navigation. So I had to get directions from friends and all these people on the phone. Like it was ridiculous. And I had a time limit. I had to be there by what, six, 6:00 PM. It started, but it was ridiculous to find this, this pause.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And because I had the help of friends. I finally navigated my way through and that's what I'm talking about. There's this whole mystical navigation happening. Am I making any sense? Whatever. Okay, so you guys out there today, I want to introduce you to your four new friends, four new friends to introduce you to today; friends who have bonded over burning down outmoded paths through their love of maps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They connected, they bonded, supported one another and created a whole new path for themselves. And I was lucky enough to be a part of this group. Like I've been in their meetings before, like their get togethers and these friends right here are the real deal. Each one of them so different and so powerful and so inspiring to listen to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want to introduce you to these four women one, you know, already, because she is a constant friend to our show. KJ is here. Everybody KJ, our friend. Hi, KJ. Welcome. You know, KJ. You guys remember licensed psychotherapist and musician and incredible human being extraordinary KJ Nasrul hi. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> Hi. Thanks for having me back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm waiting for you to shut the door on me one of these days and I'm still going </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> open. Why, why would you ever say that, you know what? That's never going to happen? Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:24]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> when you told me tonight that this is like appearance number nine, I was just like, oh, good Lord. Am I that person? Am I the unwelcome house guest?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I dunno. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Um, are you, are you trying to reverse the roles because it's, it's me. Who's always knocking on your door saying, can you come over please? So maybe just stop it. I love you. Thank you for being here. Next we have Mel Morris, speaking of mystics, beautiful mystic right here. Speaker personal coach and Tarot life planner.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Everyone, please meet beautiful, Mel Morris. Hi Mel. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:01]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> Hey </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">ya. Oh my gosh. Oh, I'm so excited to be here. From the first moment I met you fawn, I just fell in love with you and you are such, you are just the epitome of what support should look like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, through this short journey that the magical cartographers have been on, you have been there every step of the way, just showing up and just fully invested in us. And I can't thank you enough for that. So thank you so much for, for having me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and for having us here, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Mel. I'm so glad you're here and I'm so glad.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you so much for everything because the first time I met you all, I actually cried afterward because I was like, you know, this is what I've been trying to create. This is what I've been talking about and I'm doing it for other people. And I kind of left myself out of this. My whole mission is to bring back the art of friendship and bring back, this, support this family, the sense of strength when we're together, we're stronger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I kind of lost it for myself. I'm like, I don't care if I don't have it. I want others to have it. And when I met you all, I cried because. I seriously felt it. We were talking about how hard it is for me living where I'm living in the middle of the country and just dealing with microaggressions and, you know, the racism, every, everything, just being a mother, everything and the support I felt from you, the love above all and the sense that I am family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The sense that you guys had my back and we had just met, it was exactly what I've been telling the world about. I'm like, this is it folks. This is it. You don't have to know each other for thousands of years. We've known each other in and out of time. And so when you come together and it will happen, if you feel like you don't have it right now, you don't have your tribe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't to have a friend. I guarantee you, it will happen. And you will see what it feels. Everything you've heard from us. This is it. And that's the love I thought from you guys. So, thank you Mel, for being here. Everybody, please meet Jocelyn. Everyone. Jocelyn Lindsay is a certified book publishing strategist. You help people become authors, like actually get their books out. Get published. Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:34]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jacelyn:</strong></span> absolutely. Get your story out </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and love it. I'll be turning to you soon oh, perfect. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:39]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> I'll </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:39]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> be here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'll be here waiting for you. And I, I want to echo what Mel said. Having you there in those first few meetings that we were putting together and you showing up and seeing your smiling face, it, it buoyed us. I mean, having that friendship and that instant sense of connection with you, you really helped solidify what we were trying to put together and feeling and not really, and not quite there yet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And having you be there was like amazing. You have been in the back of our mind in the front of our, you are a presence for us every time we get together and meet and start talking. So we love you. And we are so thrilled to be here </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> with you, Jocelyn. I love you so much. Thank you so much. I, um, I feel the same way about you guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And I there's so much, I want to say to all of you. , but before then, cause I'm like, I'm rambling now. I want everyone else, everyone out there, please. I would like to introduce you to Ish</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Modak she is an internal medicine physician. She is a creator of mindful working mom collective. She is so much every single one of these ladies, are really multifaceted. I hate having to introduce friends as what they do with their jobs. That's not what I'm about. And having said that you all need to reach out to these people because they are phenomenal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They will change your life. Their links are directly. Underneath our show notes, like in the first few sentences. So if you want to reach out to them, there are links for you right there to do it. So please everyone meet Ish.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:34]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Thank you Fawn, I am so glad that, you know, KJ because, cause she brought you into our world and you're, you're lovely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I love you so much. It's just like, and I just want everybody to know, like, you know, we talk so much about friendship and being in person and things like that, but I've I know all of these women virtually and I met you virtually and you can have really strong, connections, if you choose to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think, really what we're about and I think Fawn, what you're about is like seeing the real, you and I think that's what people want. They want to be seen. And that's what we are here to do is for people to be seen, to be heard, to be understood and to be supported. There's too much other BS out there, but you just said </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">lighting some matches with these ladies </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and with you, Fawn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ish is just saying that because these ladies like to burn stuff up, KJ knows that I have a truck driver mouth, but on the podcast I do not. So they like to burn stuff up, not burn stuff down, you know, there's another </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:45]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> word for staff that I will be mindful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, no, no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Please, please be free to speak your mind. And I want to say as far as like getting together with you, like in person or through zoom is the same thing. I remember, um, I was having a rough day and I was very tired and KJ was saying, you need self care. I'm like, Ugh, yuck. I always like every time I heard self care, I felt, um, annoyed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so she's like, you need self care, come join our group, come listen to us, come talk to us. I'm like, KJ, I don't feel like going out like that. You know, when someone invites you to a party, you're like, I don't feel like going out. It was the same thing, but it was zoom. I'm like, I don't feel like going out and reluctantly I was there. And as soon as I saw you, like the first few words I heard from your lips, all of you, I was like, so incredibly energized, and hooked. I'm like these people are amazing. So everybody they're known as the magical cartographer. I'm like cartographer, what is that? What is that? It is the study of maps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is everyone you've now met the magical cartographers Matt. You're really quiet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I just totally slammed maps, so I'm just nervous. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no, no, no. As a metaphor for friendship, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> you didn't slam it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:12]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> I love, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> oh, well I got to try hard now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:16]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:17]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> I have to go back to this because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> you said, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:21]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> I, the way that I perceived what you said that was about maps is that it's not this set in stone thing that, so now I'm like, I'm interpreting what you said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that is totally so true. It is not set in stone ma like so cartography and like creating this landscape, this soul scape. So that's the other part, like I'm a soul scape strategist and creating that and that a map can change because if you look like one of the things that fascinate me about maps is like looking at a map over time and how things change and how things grow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I don't think you were slamming maps at all. Like, I totally got what you said. I was like, oh yeah, you're one of us. Okay. But you're married to Fawn. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So, I mean, he is, he is one of us guys, and I know we talk about the patriarchy and we can talk about the patriarchy with Matt by the way, full on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:14]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> Oh, we, oh, we will.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We'll we'll absolutely let you in, on all of the conversations. And I also wanted to say if I could quickly, cause I also wrote that, that I loved, loved. The introduction that you gave. And there's like so many little things I wrote down, but one thing that, um, to kind of in between both of you, I think, Matt, you said that originally maps are psychic and I was like, oh, that's such an interesting concept, but then Fawn, you talked about how maps are in our hearts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And absolutely, and I think the link between the two is that for us, you know, cartographers are not just the folks who study maps and, and they're the actual folks who draw the maps, who write the maps. And for us, that is what cartography is. It is about us learning the lay of our own land and drawing those maps out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so if I think about what both of, you said, the psychic quality comes from us, right? The ones who are actually drawing the maps. Okay. So, you know, it, the map is just paper and ink. It takes us, it takes our heart and our soul, as we're talking about magical cartography, to draw those lay lines, but even in, the mundane world, there are people who yes,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">had to learn and study and understand and have scientific rationale for drawing little dots on lines. But once you have that information, I mean the power that you feel from that. Right. And so all of that is what we're trying to harness here. And so you're both 100% right in your summation of what maps really are and how we need them and how we create them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thanks, Mel. Matt it's. Okay. So first of all, friends out there, we, we normally record early in the morning. And now it's at night it's past Matt's bed time. And usually when someone says you were right to Matt, he totally does a happy dance, but he's sitting there. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm being pensive because now my question is okay, that's great.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Cartography, I get it. Your cartographers totally get it. Do you see yourselves as Lord of the Ringsy type, meaning that you have an understanding, you have a quest to take the ring to Mount doom and you're going to get there, but corrob durosu may make it, so you can't go through that way. So you got to go a different way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you see yourselves as Lewis and Clark patriarchy woot, um, where you're actually exploring an unknown territory, like, you know, going through the Louisiana purchase. Cause of course, Sacagawea we didn't help them at all right. Anyways. Um, or do you see yourselves as taking existing maps and like illustrating them, like putting old school, like putting mermaids in there or here be dragons.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, I mean, there's, there's so many different kinds of ripples and nuances. Cause cartography back in the day was very, you know, artsy and, there's a certain amount of heavy precision now to it, especially GPS, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So you know of those things and I'm sure you're about to say all of them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Where do you guys really see yourselves? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> Well, I think it's interesting that we're talking about maps in terms of geography we're talking at in terms of space and places and locations and boundaries, when you can have maps of the heart, you can have maps of the stars, you can have maps of the soul. So I would blow us out beyond just thinking in terms of landscape. I would take us out to the cosmos level or the mythological level, and go beyond just, Mordor or the Louisiana purchase, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> uh,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:05]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Lord of the rings. I mean, Oh, I love that. But yeah, no, the volcano </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:10]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> fire into that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:12]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:13]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> fire fire is a theme.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:19]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> mean, ultimately the work that we are doing within ourselves, individually, within ourselves as a group, and then collectively that we are working to create with other people is helping people understand that someone else may have drawn a map for you, but if they were not in you, if they were not of you, that's their map, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's the way that they want to get from point a to point B. You have the ability and the capacity to figure out who the hell you are within and draw your own map. It doesn't require someone else's assistance to do that for you. And that is. As we talk more about the patriarchy, right? That's what we're trying to step back from.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't have to use that map. That's been in place. You can draw your own. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God, Mel. I have a story. Can I interject? And actually, this is one of the questions I have for you guys, regarding, maps and creating your own way, you know, creating your own map. One of my questions was, can you share some map stories or do you have any maps stories?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What I wanted to share with you guys was this. When I graduated high school, I had to, pack up my bags, everything I owned. I had worked through high school to raise enough money, to get myself into this really expensive art school. And I paid cash. It was a very scary time. I was disowned by the family because they didn't want, they were just horrible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't want to get into that right now, but, um, needless to say it was kind of scary going to a new city. I had to find my own way and I had a map of San Francisco and I loved this thing, but I clutched onto it every day, all day, all day, every day, I even slept with it. And one day, one of my friends, Josh, who was this hip, guy from New York, mysterious, quiet, but like he was intriguing and he he's sought out to be my friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he's like, come on Fon, let's go explore San Francisco together. He actually was going to the same art school I was going to, and I said, great. And just as we were about, we were living in a youth hostel. And just when I closed the door to my room. I'm like, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I forgot my map.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I opened the door. I go in there, I run and I grabbed the map and he'd seen me with this map every single day. He took my map and he threw it. So I couldn't get it. He was like, stop it. You know, let's live. You need to live, stop putting your head in the map and let's explore. And that was, uh, w what's I can't pronounce this word.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That was one of the inciting incidences in my life in San Francisco that I pronounce it. Right. Inciting incident. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I have no idea what. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You don't know inciting incident? No. You know, uh, is that the point you're getting thumbs up, so you're good. What do you mean? You don't know? You don't know what I'm sometimes, you know, a situation where like, it, it shifts you, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It started a movement for you. Yeah. So anyway, that's my map story. And Matt, you said you don't have a map story, but I know for a fact you have a love affair with Thomas Thomas. The guide in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> LA there's a back in the day, there was just LA, it was LA orange county. Wait a minute. The whole country </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> has a Thomas guide.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> If you say LA orange county. So I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> don't know nothing, nothing does anybody know about that? Jocelyn says on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:09]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> the east </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> coast, wait, I thought that the wino country here </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, and that's just it. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> got you, man. I'm a Cali </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> girl. I'm willing to bet Thomas guide is gone now, frankly, because of, you know, phones and whatnot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But the Thomas guide was something you kept in your car. It was a book, you know, it was like 11 by eight and a half. It was kind of, you know, and page after page, after page showing you every single street in LA and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> orange county's geometry, it was very math based. So you had to get the grid and the numbers and correspond them together to find your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> every street.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you had an index, you could look up, you know, your street. Cause of course that's what you always look up in a map because we're all idiots. And so we look up our own street, like the one place we know how to find, but anyways, yeah. Kept Thomas Guy to my car. Absolutely use it all the time. Tooling around this was before we had.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, before, uh, GPS was widely available for our cell phones could give us turn by turn directions. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> then we also had triptiks. Do you guys know about triptiks from AAA? If you go on a trip oh yeah. They make a little book just for you. And then they highlight it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:20]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Yeah. Memories of road trips with the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there you go. The flipping the pages was always very exciting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. The next chapter. But anyway, um, do you guys have any maps stories that changed your life or changed the trajectory?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:34]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> I don't have any map stories. I will say that the interesting thing about being a magical cartographer is that in real life I am notoriously lost. I can't ever find anything. I am fortunate to have married someone with an incredible sense of direction. I always some navigation tool. And before there was a GPS that was accessible to the public, I would literally have like handwritten notes in my car of how to get from point a to point B.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if there was a detour, I was just screwed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to me too. Same, same </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:16]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Fawn, the map stories I think that I have are those that were imposed upon me for a large part. And this is why like, and I think this is some way in relation in answer to the question and in what Matt was asking as well, is that I don't see us as magical cartographers as following a sysytem. There is no one system. It is what your system is, and it is uncovering what that lay of the land looks like for you. And I think that we are living in a day and age, it's really scary for a lot of people who are very used to prescribed maps. And there are a lot of people who have suffered before and are still suffering because of those prescribed maps and what we're wanting people to uncover and what I am uncovering for myself is also what my own lay of the land is. And the little bits that I've learned, I want other people to be able to open themselves up to themselves. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I absolutely think, I absolutely think you're right there. We've gone through, we're still going through an, a period of incredible change and some of this change has been coming for a long time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We just weren't seeing it like climate change. But more importantly, it feels not more importantly, nothing's really more important than that, but secondarily, we're looking at industries being completely rewritten. You know, is, is Amazon gonna destroy main street, like Walmart was supposed to, God knows, but they're certainly making an interesting run at it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We're seeing so much just raw change in the banking industry and the way we communicate, I mean, I mean, look at us, you know, how many different areas of the world, you know, of the United States of the world? Are we in right now on this conversation we're having, I mean, this is incredible. And could we do this seven years ago?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, yeah, with a lot of expensive equipment probably. I think that looking at a map as a static thing, like how we initially started the conversation, even a Thomas guide, the rate of change that we're seeing is just so dynamic. It makes it impossible for us to rely on the map.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so looking at a map as a physical map, or, you know, a map inside of our hearts as being, uh, this is the direction I think I want to go, instead of this is how we'll get there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that's where friends come in. I turned to KJ two hours ago. I'm like, girl, I don't know where to go. I seriously, don't know where to go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she gave me some direction. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:55]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> And Josh, Ashley did that for you, Fawn, too. Like, that's what I love. Like, just in what Matt and you were talking about your map story and what Matt is talking about. He liked basically was like, you're not following this. Like you're not going to hang on to this prescribed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're going to like open and then he was there to catch you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. Yeah, totally. I had a friend to walk shoulder to shoulder with and navigate the streets that were so scary to me because it was all new. And I had no family, nobody, nothing, you know, very little money. All my money I had was being turned over to this expensive art school, you know, ridiculous like no safety net, but we are each other's safety nets and it's a magical net. It's interwoven around all galaxies and to uncover how those things are woven is just amazing. And that's how I met KJ KJ. And I had a spark along with another friend, Beth, and we started calling each other, the mystery of us because the more we spoke, the more we realized how much we actually had in common from before birth, you know, like putting all the magical pieces together was mind blowing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And before I add </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:16]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> just one thing to that piece of the conversation. And there's something about you Matt, I have to say that, I just feel like I want to talk to you for a long time. I'm not gonna do that today, but at some other point, I just feel this energy from you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I need to just talk to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:30]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> you, Matt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:33]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> Yeah. Sometimes it happens that way </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and you haven't even heard me talk about how we develop software now that follows this weird now map of the heart kind of past. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:43]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> And I don't want to talk to him about that ever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just kidding. No, I just wanted to add to that. Um, yes, I agree, in the idea of the change and being able to create new maps for new directions, but I think it's also important for us to recognize what hasn't changed. And it's important in the process of drawing these new metaphorical maps to understand that there's a lot in this world that we see every day that has not changed nearly as much as we would like to pretend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so in that vein, it can be so difficult for us to change ourselves when our environment has remained the same. And that is all the more reason to, in line with this conversation to find other people who are willing to not just be a safety net for you, because sometimes of course, we all need that, but people who are willing to tell you that you are enough; that when you take this leap, you don't need a safety net. You're enough. You already got it. We need more people like that in our lives. And I think for me, that's what, you know, everyone in this room has done, but really what I have been striving for and what I really want other people to recognize as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I just wanted to give the flip to that piece of the conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> absolutely. There's certainly that's kind of the almost inevitability of a lot of it. Is it just because it feels like everything is changing doesn't mean everything isn't is truly changing. It just, we get caught up in the exciting changes that we ignore the steadies, like a story.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That, uh, uh, I've gone through with my wife is, what is the best piece of equipment we have in our kitchen? And we have this Vitamix, it goes, we have a percolator that makes all sorts of interesting noise, but honestly, it's our toaster. We've had our toaster since we got married and it's just there and it just works.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you know, we know how it works. We know it's steady. It's it's everything else. It's not flashy. So it doesn't make a lot of noise, but yeah, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:07]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> Yeah. Sorry, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:08]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> Matt. I don't know how you do it. You make me cry </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> over a little toaster. It's not a brave little toaster. It's just a little toaster. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> Oh man.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But you just summed up for me so much. I was going to tie in what Mel was saying, which is referring to are in the, uh, theme of navigation and design. I was going to bring in this inner compass, this inner knowing that we have, where, whether things do change or don't change, we still know. We still have some point of referencing guidance that maybe isn't in, in, in, um, it's not fancy, it's not extra sexy, but a toaster, a toaster, a toaster outlines a lot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:02]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> I'm laughing because, um, well, because I never thought I'd hear a toaster this may time at times in, in a podcast, but more importantly. So I guess where I was going with this was about things like racism. So I don't want to, I don't want to compare toasters to racism cause I really liked my toaster too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">But the consistency of things that haven't changed, but we tell ourselves have, have evolved; that the maps have changed and grown and expanded. When in actuality, when you look at the map, oh, Nope, this is still where the streets are. Right. And so having that knowledge is just as important as knowing that you have the ability to create something new to draw outside of those lines as well. So I'll, uh, I'll leave it there and we can go back to the toasters,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, I want to talk about rhythm and, it really struck me what you said, Mel. Sometimes things don't change and we say they've changed and quite the other way around. And it just makes me feel like there's a rhythm too, that we may not recognize or feel at the time because we're in the midst of it. So it's hard to step away and really look at the land and see where you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and also we're talking about the heart maps and everything. And I always think about the heart because I, it makes me think of the culture I was born into where like the Western culture will say heart, but where I'm from, the heart is the stomach. So when someone is heartbroken, in the language I was born with, we say, my stomach feels very tight, is another expression for saying I'm homesick or I'm, I'm heartbroken.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It goes to the stomach. In talking about the different areas and the different rhythms and everything, it kind of makes me think of music. And by the way, if you all want to know how these ladies became friends, go to, KJ'S podcast and they share with you how they became friends, how they actually met and connected.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I know that you're all obsessed with music. So I want to bring music into this. I'm wondering does music, or can music play as a kind of topographical? Is that the word topographical layer? Like I know on a map, that is significant in coursing our lives. Like how does sound come into this and music come into this and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What is the soundtrack of your life? I actually can't think of like what the soundtrack of my life is. I'm not sure, but I know you all are into Def Leppard and like, and don't get, don't get Matt started on music because then it will be here for many, many hours. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But I do have a Def Leppard </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> story. Go ahead.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:09]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Do tell, Matt. I need to hear the leopards </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I was in. I was in orange county, California. I went into a warehouse. I bought the best of Def Leppard on CD and I walked out, put it in my truck, put it in my CD player. My truck started listening as I was driving on the freeway home. Cause I lived in LA at that point, listening to Def Leppard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is when I knew without a shadow of a doubt. And I don't know why that I was gonna meet Fawn. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Photograph, he was listening to photograph and I'm a photographer. Oh. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And it was a knowledge that I can't explain where it came from or how, but it gave me a great deal of comfort. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:57]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:58]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> Awesome song. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the fact that Def Leppard links us all.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:06]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> we have come full circle. Really. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wow. So don't you guys think there should be another layer for the maps, which should be sound. We have, you know, the, all the different layers, right? Look, the mountains you have. I don't know the terminology for all the different kinds of maps. Well, the maps that are bumpy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there's an </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">infinite number of types of maps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But when you bring a new topological layers, maybe it's looking at population densities or the, cities, or maybe it's highways, or maybe its rivers, or maybe it's, but all these things layer onto a map to, to bring it into whatever dimension it is that you need. There </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> should be a sound map. One of the things that happens to me is sometimes when I touch people's hands, their palms, I hear music. And with some people I'll hear drums. I love drums, it can be so radically different, the sound of a drum from person to person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But, um, yeah, I think does, how does music play in shaping your lives in mapping out the course of your life. And do you have a soundtrack, Matt? Do you, do you have a soundtrack? My </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> soundtrack constantly </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> changes you can't say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that. And that's what I would say, but however, in the style of music I listen to, it's literally like the drums bring in the beat, but then the bass player starts to play with that beat and can counter beat it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then between the two, two guitars, everybody brings a different, sometimes it's melody, countermelody harmonies, counter harmonies. Sometimes everybody's linked up together. Sometimes everybody's fighting and then the vocals comes over the top and sometimes that's literally another instrument, and it's meant to stand in stark contrast to all the other sounds you have.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so all of a sudden, now you have this almost like a jumble of five different sounds. But it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">all works.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I like how you put that together. Like, I can't tell you what mine really sounds like, but I can tell you who is a part of it. Mine would be Pat Benatar. It would be Peter Gabriel. And Halford from, um, Judas, Judas priest.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, I'm always going </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:23]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> to acknowledge that I actually grew up in the eighties and so the eighties soundtrack is always in the back of my mind. And I think not just not just the sound for me songs are really, I'm so much more. I know you're talking about the sound specifically. But to me, lyrics are just are, the key are the things that are so important that draw me in, to any artist and the freedom, the feeling that I get from the words that people put into their songs, that, that emotional roller coaster that you go through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So there's a feeling there for, if we wanted to talk about vibration and sound. The feeling that I get from the lyrics, the messaging, is the most powerful component for me. And for me, the eighties was very much about, being unique and independent and like everything was okay if we're, if we're making love or partying or for just being sad, like everything is okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then, you know, most people know I'm also obsessed with Adele, so. You do with that, what you will in the eighties category. Those are the big pieces for me and Adelle, if you happen to be listening to this, I'd love to come and see you. I didn't get tickets</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Adelle. Please reach out to Mel. If </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:48]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> you can do that for me, Fawn and Matt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Gosh, let's put a message out there. Adele, please reach out to Mel Morris. Thank you in advance. Jocelyn, how about you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:01]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> Well, I was thinking that music for me comes back again to the story. It's just, it's another way of mapping stories.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I too grew up in the eighties. Um, I remember when MTV was music and just started. I mean, I remember the weekend. It. Started and all the hype around MTV and being at a friend's house. But I have older brothers who grew up on the music of the seventies. And so I, I don't remember it, but one of my older brothers, motorcycle raced and my mom would leave me with him and my stroller and he would work on his motorcycles and I grew up to the rolling stones and I still have, you know, there's a soft spot for me with Elton John Elton.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">John always makes me think of my brother. Music has just the map, the map of music over my life. I can hear a song and go right back to where I was Coldplay yellow. I'm in Germany. Um, I can go back to Portugal. I can, I can connect with music, connects me to the street maps, the stories of my life in places.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had been way stronger than many of the other </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> senses. I totally agree. Jocelyn. It's like the ultimate transporter music, music and smelling stuff. Yeah. Which is another question besides music. We haven't finished the music question, but before I forget, what scent, what sense of smell, what scent is more profound in your memory in your life so far, but, I don't want to forget the music question </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:42]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> I want to hear,KJ and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> That could be, that could take us awhile. So, actually just this year I participated, it was my fourth year in doing so this, this year I participated in one in what's called the 100 day project. And that is, on the philosophy that you can do a little bit of something for a hundred days and say, like, write one line of a poem.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if you do one line of a poem for a hundred days, by the end of a hundred days, you have a poem that's a hundred lines long. And so what's something might not be completed when we first start out to do it very much so has been put together through time. And so my project this year was focused on music and it was focused on the lyrics, the lyrics and stories like Jocelyn said of my life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I didn't move through and say like, today, I'm going to write about Tori Amos. So today I'm going to write about a Fleetwood Mac. But, what I did is I had a random organizer, one of those random org websites, where I just tossed in a bunch of numbers and whatever number came up that day reflected a list that I had of artists that I admired.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I would pick a song or lyrics from that artist, whatever the random generator would give for me. So it kind of took off this pressure of trying to come up with something. And I have to tell you that this project doing a hundred days of song lyrics or song memories opened up so much for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'll talk about maps and timelines. Because the random generator brought me into anything from Sam Cooke to Def Leppard. I had a story for every associated memory, around a song that was generated. And so I felt like I was blown wide open this summer when I was doing this project because I was remembering as a nineties kid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's where really my music came in. So I was in the whole grunge place. And, you know, it's associated with first crushes, first heartbreaks and, trying to become a, a chain smoker. It never really stuck with me very well to be a chain smoker, but I tried. And, um, so there are, there are songs associated with all of these attempts of trying to be something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so if I were to do a timeline map and I would note what songs fell, where, oh, my word. Oh, my word. So very, very significant for me. Music. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. What about you ish? Well, I think, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:22]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> um, you know, thinking about this and there's, there's two aspects, so, and I think KJ really, brought out one of these aspects very nicely about how music takes you back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, I'd </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it helps you remember things. It </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">can. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And Jocelyn talked about this too, about, about the memories, but for me, like the soundtrack of my life is a little bit of everything. I mean, there's country and you know, I mean, I love George Strait. Oh my goodness. I mean, I'm a Texas girl, so, um, but then there's Def Leppard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, like. You know, I've told the ladies, and I think we've talked about this in the podcast where like, my dad would not let me go to a high school party, but he took me and my friend and we'd go to concerts. And I'm like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know, like that probably was the smartest </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">thing to do, but that's what we did.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, uh, classical music and jazz. And, even just now, like my youngest is really getting into, the blues and rhythm. Like we were listening to Miles Davis taken her to school this morning and it just, all of these different things. And just going back to this whole concept of creating something, I see a lot of people who are like, just felt like I only listened to pop or I only listened to this genre of music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's what we're trying to really break free from, you know, is doing that. But Fawn, you were talking too about how in the culture you grew up in like the heart, it's like that what happens in the stomach? And like, I think about this from this perspective of mindfulness and meditation and what's going on in our bodies and how that plays out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there's just so much like those different layers. Matt was talking about the topography and like population density and it's like, just really being able to sort of sit back and sort of feel like, how does this sound impact me? You know? And that the sound can, you're talking about sense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, how like, like some people have some really just intense, like they have a memory and they can smell like literally can smell what was happening at that time, of the memory and, all of this things that invoke. So I think it's like for me, the soundtrack is just very varied. But the sound is really important and being able to sense that and how that impacts and makes me feel in a quieter moment and like what's going on is like, I think really important. I think it's a really artful </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">question Fawn, I love it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. Mel, what is your favorite music? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:54]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> So my favorite music or smell </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> both, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:01]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> my favorite music again, it, it depends. I mean, it really is like, um, I'm not a big Christmas person, but, um, my favorite Christmas song, I mean, I have like a list, like a top five Christmas songs and it's not Christmas time until I hear, the temptations silent night, like that's number one best Christmas song ever. I dare anyone to prove me wrong. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What you like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what you like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> father Christmas by the kinks is the greatest Christmas </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> song. Ooh, Mel. He's trying to argue with you like he does with me . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:37]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Listen. We can have an after show and play both and see, but I'm just saying. Um, so you know, it, it depends, it depends on my mood of what I might want to hear or what lyrics are going to speak to me or speak to where I'm trying to go or the mood I'm trying to be in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So yeah, it really depends. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have a different question. You guys ready? Okay. Can I go to another? Okay. All right. Um, it may just be me and if it is, we'll just go to, some other topic, but so I was born with some memory. And I had certain, images that would flash before me. I guess you can say it was memory, but I would get flashes of a scene or in this case I would get flashes of a very small portion of Matt's face and I kept seeing it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I would see Matt's eyes and it would be a flash that I had, but I would have certain flashes like these, that like this, that would be, it was kind of like the first memory of a particular point in the life before you much like, you know, how you map things out. And I'm of a belief that before we come here, we map things out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there are certain meetings and locations that are designated by us as the director. And I wanted to make sure that I didn't miss it. So when I was born from the time I was a baby and I have memories of, I told this to KJ when we first met and this proves that we were meant to be friends because I told her everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she's still my friend. Cause I mean, some of the sounds, I mean, some of the things that I remember, or like, even like for me to talk about sounds really crazy; science, fictiony crazy. But that's what happened to me. Anyway. Do any of you have flashes of a map if you will, of what lay before you, what lies before you in life from an early point?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, did you have. Uh, certain, I don't know the terminology that's related to maps, but like not a compass, but like a little, what do you call it? The, the, their signs on the legend. Thank you guys. Any legends, or maybe if you don't remember having that memory of a legend now that you have some time to think about it, like you've been here for a few years on the planet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can you notice a legend that's been there for you? What's your legend?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:30]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> I will say that I don't have early memory. I actually, I had a pretty traumatizing in childhood, so a lot of my childhood is like completely wiped. But as I've gotten older, once I've connected, with my woo, and this is like the unofficial woo crew here, so there's nothing that you could say it's too weird for us just to say, you know, but I have what I call kind of downloads.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I don't know what an official term for them would be, but sometimes when I'm able to really settle into a meditative state, I get these, um, videos. Like they're like watching movies of me, doing things and it will be like a 20 minute thing it'll just happen. And when I finish, I'm able to write down things that I sat in, where I was, and, and I experience it with a knowing with an internal, knowing that this is going to happen. Like I've already lived this and now I'm somehow now just behind it, catching up to it. And that knowing has really allowed me to, when I get off track, when I lose focus, when I think I'm not enough, or I'm not doing the right things or this and that, knowing that like, well, you're already, you've already seen yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You've already experienced yourself doing these other things. It's this, this knowing like, okay. All right. Just because you don't know how to get there yet because you haven't drawn the map to get there yet doesn't mean that it's not going to happen or that you're not on the right path, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You'll be able to, in hindsight, once you're there and be like, oh, okay, this is the way I did it. Let me put my little lines down. But that component has happened as I've gotten older. And again, as I've allowed myself to have that belief in me and what I experienced and, and not dismiss it and not listen to what other people might say, like that's ridiculous, or what are you talking about?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">That's a wonderful question by the way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:45]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> I don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">think I've had, like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">when I was younger, remembers something in a past life. But I certainly have felt a sense of, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">connection </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">or just understanding of things that have happened before I was born in other cultures. And so I, but I can't, I, I wouldn't say like I have these like memories that kind of, I just have these feelings that I'm like, you know, that deja VU, like sort of thing, like I may read something and get a sense that like, oh, I really understand what happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So, so yeah, and I think that, and again, I think that the more that I meditate and the more mindfulness that I do, the more in connection with the earth that I am in Mel can really unders you know, as the, as our, as our resident mystical guru. I think that everyone before us is in the earth and having that sense, you know, connects us all to the past.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And I know that's probably pretty woo, but that's just really sort of what I've gotten down to because we all turned to dust. Right. So like, we're all I can, I can get that sense. And it's, um, it's not, it's, it's a heavy burden because I can feel the, the suffering, I can also feel the happiness, but the suffering can get, can be pretty overwhelming to, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to feel that sense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:19]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> that's your Scorpio? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:22]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Yes. The deep dark Scorpio in me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt is a Scorpio too. Oh, you're like, don't you have Scorpio in like a whole bunch of places. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> All my inner planets. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:38]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> Oh, my gosh. KJ also has what, five, six planets in Scorpio. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> if it's not Scorpio it's Libra. So, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yeah. And of course, as a Scorpio, that's all who we, I don't believe any of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Don't believe him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:51]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> You don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> have to believe it for it to be true. And there you have it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Jocelyn, what is your legend? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:59]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> I'm thinking about that. I'm thinking about what Ish just said, that we all turn to dust and I'm also thinking we all turned to energy. And if we all go back to energy, that energy is somewhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, it could be going anywhere. I mean, it could be going, you know, it could be, it, it could be anywhere. My legend, I think is still it's the stories. I mean, I think ultimately it comes back to the stories, whether they're from past lives or now lives or future lives, that we're here to collect stories and we're sharing stories and that's really the legend of how we journey across this particular life or landscape; is, how do our stories connect, where to our stories entwine and intersect. I think certainly the four of us now, the five and the six of us where, our stories are meeting at a crossroads. , I certainly felt when I connected with, the four cartographers that there was something going on. There, there was a story shift happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We all met at the crossroads, the intersection of multiple states, physical and other. And, there was some serious tectonic, energy shifting. And so I thought that, you know, I felt like this story, we ha I had to jump into it. And I think we all felt that way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's something here that we have to jump into, and that that's pretty much my legend is that gut instinct of where is this story? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's beautiful. You guys I've, I've like gotten loopy. Has everyone talked about their legend? I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> haven't said anything yet, but it can be really echoed in what has already been presented for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">There's a familiarity. I have extremely lucid dreams where I'm pretty sure they're not dreams, but they're actual parallel happenings. And so there's a part of me. That's just like, well, that's happening and, or that's about to happen or it has happened. So there's this confidence in me that it's happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's happening. It's going to happen. It's just this knowing. And then when it comes to like meeting people and being in particularly charged, I call them charged places. It's because I've known already. I've been here before, even if I've never physically set foot in a particular place in this particular lifetime or knowing I have a history there, in the same way that I know that I'm from the islands.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I know that we all have met. I also know that we all were to work together. So there's just this certainty and this familiarity. And so when I encounter people, now that I know that I've had some sort of parallel or past knowing with, there's an instant recognition, usually it shows up in my body, meaning like, I'll, I'll feel like, like a zap or like a, a sigh of relief, almost like, oh, there you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. I was looking for you. Cool. Um, and then similarly with places, physical places, so my legend looks a lot like, like spiral or infinity symbols, or maybe some Zappy lightning symbols of like, this is, this is charged, this is happening. That's how I can explain my map.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">My legend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you have much </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, it's certainly an interesting thing. I used to say that, uh, I knew when I was in kindergarten that I was going to college. Not that I understood what college was and I just kind of always just, just put that on my parents, but. My brother didn't quite go the same way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So was that me telling myself, was that a communication that I had from previous life? I don't know, things start to get very Woo and Woo is not a place that I necessarily feel comfortable because I deal so much in the realm of the mind. But if you look at things like, Dharma, the wheel of Dharma and how we're meant, we evolve in the crux of, uh, each individual life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there's a lot of people who believe religiously about this type of thing. And everybody seems to believe in reincarnation, even though it's not really supporting Christianity, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is it enough , for so many people to believe in it? Does the Zeitgeist make it real?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's where my head starts going, but, uh, yeah, legend college kind of a strange one, but, and I literally knew that I was also going to graduate. So, you know, sitting down at an auditorium, somebody says, look to the left, look to the. Two of those people. Won't, won't be here when you graduate. You know, that, that wouldn't have affected me again, you know, it's because I had that knowledge, but from where, from how? So, that makes my whole path very challenging and complicated because it could be that there are these legendary events that I should know about, but I've already attributed them to things inside of this life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You are all so deep. Honestly, I was, I mean, I, my answer to that question for myself is very literal. Like my legend, since I was born, it's like, I came here because I was searching for these eyes. I was searching for Matt, but my legend has to do with borders and boundaries and distances and countries. And one of the reasons I, one of the reasons, one of the many reasons my ears perked up when I met you all and you know, the magical cartographers was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And once I realized what cartographer meant, I'm like, oh my God, you guys, I have had an obsession with maps my entire life, like Globes and maps. And for me, It's literally I've ever, since I can remember, I would stare at maps and just understand, trying to understand that is what the heck is happening on this planet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, I've lived many times, but it's, I feel like it's my first time on planet earth. And I'm like, what? You know, I'm always asking Matt, Matt feels like he's been here many, many, many times, thousands of times, hundreds of thousands of times. Uh, this is my first time on this planet. I've been to many other universes and galaxies and I feel like, and for friends listening, I'm sorry if this sounds crazy, but here we go. Just bear with me. I feel like I came here to understand what the heck is going on with people I don't understand. The boundaries and the borders, and you can't step over this line. You what you can't respect each other's cultures or beliefs. You fight over spirit, you fight over like, it is ridiculous instead of being together and eating together and supporting one another, all this strife and anger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What is your deal planet? I don't understand what is happening here. So my legend would be like, yeah, you know, the thing that measures from here to there with a big question, mark, like what, you know, in relation to what, what is going on with all the measurements and for you, Matt, I thought it would have to do with code.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You always notice patterns. You walk around life and you're like, did you see patterns everywhere? If you're looking for something. You can, or this is how you read to the girls too. You guys barely look at a page and you've read the whole page. Meanwhile, I try to open a book and I still have to get tested for dyslexia or something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I'm like, oh, read one sentence. I'm like, wait, what was that again? And I'll read it again. And I'm reading it like how a person speaks. So I'm very slow, you know? Like you can just go boom. There it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What you need to read better. You need to read more interesting books. Cause I hit the same problem when I read books that no word to answer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:53]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> saying I don't read </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> enough saying you need to read cooler books. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, I've read many diff no, no. My brain operates differently. That's all. Anyway. I don't know why we've just fallen on it's your birthday? January 25th. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:06]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Fawn, I feel </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like you are, um, you see things in photographs though </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> in pictures. By the way, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:18]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> hearing your stories in some way, the reason you're drawn to be a photographer, you are a photographer is because you're trying to find those images that are familiar to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:05:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I was looking for a family, honestly, I was photographing family members and my last big project was my book, which was a global family photo album. And I put all the world's religions together along with sayings of great mystics. And I put it into a book, a family photo album. That's totally the reason, but it's so funny because I don't really see what I'm photographing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I feel it. And I know when to take the picture, but I, I couldn't tell you. Anything, I couldn't tell you what the person's eye color was. I couldn't tell you what their hair color was. I'm like I could get hit by a bus, not know. Do you know what I mean? I'm not seeing anything. I'm feeling it. When I was in college, I took acting courses and acting classes and, um, I, one day one of our assignments was to go out on the street and pick someone at random.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Someone we don't know on the streets and come back to class as that person. We weren't allowed to talk to the person or to meet them at all. Just someone you noticed on the street, some stranger. And so this one day I saw this blind man walking with a cane, holding a big box of photographic paper, and I came to class as a blind photographer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's how I feel. I'm like, I'm not, it's, it's all about feeling for me, you know, just trying to. That is, that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:04]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> is the epitome of, of Aquarius energy. Just FYI. I mean, I don't, I don't know what the rest of your chart looks like, but Aquarius is all about energy and frenetic energy sometimes. But really that life lesson is that you're not meant to fit in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I have, I have a grandson, that's an Aquarius and you're, you're not, you're not meant to fit. You're not going to fit in. And the last, the hard lesson that you have to learn is that it's just, you're not going to ever fit in the way that you think fitting in is let me rephrase it that way, your family be it naturally birth into or chosen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to change the way you think fitting in to a family, what that means, because it looks different for you than for the rest of us. So just know that, but yeah, that energy does connect us all and you more than most, um, especially married to a Scorpio, I'll just say, that deep wanting to know more and for you, that energy is gonna always be abundant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That is very perceptive. That's totally me to a T not fitting in ever. I don't that, but that's what makes you amazing enough about me?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You guys? Oh my God. No. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> yes. I wanted to check in with Matt. How are you feeling friends? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>KJ:</strong></span> Yeah, it's late. That's the other reason I know you. And I usually talk in the mornings and so this is a totally different vibe to be hanging out, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but you're also on the podcast. You know, I spend a lot of my time, very leaned back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I spend a lot of my time really pondering things, people say so, so I have witty things to say back. Um, so it, it is, it is a different energy. Um, yeah, as far as things go, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're doing amazing. Do you guys want to wrap this up soon? Is there anything you all want to say? Like any particular, anything before we wrap up?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:21]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> I I'll just say that. I love the fact </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:27]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> regardless. I mean, especially Matt in this conversation, I, I thank you and applaud you for being a, around all of this strong. Strong feminine energy because we are not demure, not any of us in this space. But, being able to have conversations about all the things about everything, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">About not just one, this is my perspective, and this is all that I need to know about or want to have a conversation about. I think it's so important that we are open to having conversations about things that maybe aren't naturally in our wheelhouse, right. Or that you wouldn't have necessarily naturally thought about or maybe even agreed with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But the willingness to have conversation is really so important. And to me, what creates friendships, what creates opportunities for friendship is that openness and willingness. I, I'm just loving everything about this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">conversation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I love every word. I love listening to you all. I want all our friends out there to really seek you out because you are beautiful human beings.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I just want to say that life can be very challenging. There've been so many times I have been so scared and I couldn't see my way I could not see or know of other choices or paths I could take. That is why friendship is so important. We're here to help each other and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Friends are there to help when things get really bad. And the more we are different, the more collective vantage points we have, the better we're able to put all the pieces together. And I just want to say, thank you. Thank you for welcoming me in to your friendship circle because it has truly given me not only more strength, but like a salve over my heart that was burning</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and sad, even though I'm like heading up this whole, like let's change the world by bringing back the art of friendship and trying to reeducate all of us about what friendship really is. I, myself. I have been burned so much. And like I said, I wasn't thinking of this whole movement for myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just wanted to help other people. And you all came across my path thanks to KJ. And I just want to let you know how much you've helped me and, and soothed my spirit. And I really appreciate you all. And I so appreciate you coming to our podcast, coming to talk to us, coming to our kitchen over here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I know it's past Matt bedtime, so just keep harping </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that. All </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. Well, thank you so much for being here, everybody. I really appreciate you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:41]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Thank you Fawn. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And thank you, Matt, for having us on. These are the conversations that we want to have and we want people to really think about, , for themselves and, and open. And, you know, I'll say this because I think this is really important. I want to go back as you talking about self care.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, and you know, like being kind of like annoyed with the whole, like when KJ was like, come do the self care and I understand why people get angry with that. But the best self care is when you can know yourself, it's not the yoga, it's not any of that stuff. Self care is about really knowing yourself and finding the people who will support you for being you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that that's what us for and as five, and now Matt, we're gonna, you know, you're, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're part of us now. Oh my God. Oh man. That's a big deal. Scared that, you know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:13:41]</span> <span style="color:#33d900;"><strong>Ish:</strong></span> Yeah. We all met and came together, but it was really one person meeting one person and talking and then meeting the next person. And then all of us kind of, so it's one person at a time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's, that's really the change, you know, the change that can happen. I just, I thank you so much Fawn, for inviting us because this, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">this has been great. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, this is just the beginning, but what we have eight </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:14]</span> <span style="color:#00aaff;"><strong>Jocelyn:</strong></span> more times to catch </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:16]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> up with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that KJ. I know now</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">wouldn't it be great if there was one podcast for all the millions of people talking at the same time. On one, one episode company together? No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it would be a long episode </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:36]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> that makes my brain </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hurt too much. Or at least all the magical cartographers of the world United. I mean, that's a little better, a little more pinpointed, a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:50]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> lot of energy, but all </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good energy though. It's a party. It's a party. The planet is a party sometimes it's, it gets out of hand like it is right now. And, um, do you guys think what, before we go, what's your state of the world view what's going on? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's a small</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">10 seconds. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, what has happened? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:21]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> We need a part two. That's a huge </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> question. All right. We'll do a part two, nevermind, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">everybody calm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I would like to conclude by saying father Christmas by the kinks, best Christmas song ever. Careful. When you first, when you listen to it, the first 30 seconds you're going to be like, okay, obviously Matt is a crazy person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to get to the line, that rhymes time and wine, and then it will all make sense. But that's way at the tail end of the song, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:15:50]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> I'm willing to listen. As long as you go ahead and listen as well to all the way through. It's a very long song, all the way to the very end when they, when the temptations thank everyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, I'm </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sure it's beautiful, but it does. It does it absolutely Christmas the same way, father. I just want you to feel it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:09]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> Yes. I promise. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:14]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Mel:</strong></span> yours, Matt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. You got it? I can't wait to listen to it. I've heard yours, Matt. No, thank you. It makes me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> nuts. The last line, if I thought we can get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:16:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> away with it, but we can't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, we get charged. We can't do it. We can't sing on the podcast. All right, guys, we will be in touch on the podcast. You guys will come back to our table. I hope. Yes, absolutely. Our home is your home, our kitchen wallah, our map. Thank you everyone. Thank you for everything we love you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you for listening and we'll talk to you in a few days. Take care everyone. Oh, and don't forget the show notes. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye bye-bye. Hi.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[Today's topic is turning to friends for direction as we introduce you to 4 new friends-The Magical Cartographers (Ish, KJ, Jocelyn, and Mel). Today's art of friendship is the art of the map. Inside of each person is a map. It is there even before we are born, a way to get the full picture of the full landscape is to share what is contained in our hearts because it is our hearts that hold the latent image.
Side note: If you would like to support our show: buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 

Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Today's topic is turning to friends for direction. Today's art of friendship is the art of the map. Inside of each person is a map. It is there even before we are born, a way to get the full picture of the full landscape is to share what is contained in our hearts, because it is our hearts that hold the latent image.
Now latent image. That's my photography term. It's the image held within the silver emulsion that comes to light during the process. So to get that latent image to come to life, we share our stories and our ways. How do we course and navigate the geography and terrain of our lives during a time of change, turbulence, shakeups, and movement, while looking for our original family members? The art of the map is mapping out ways to have lasting friendships; the friendship that has existed in an out of time. 
Imagine if you will a map you could only feel -a blueprint. What if, while we are here, we actually are surrounded by our spirit family and to find them, we would have to unravel all the signs and the coincidences to realize the hidden codes that are there. That have always been there that reveal our friendship, our family alliance. And to do that, we have to have gumption; the bravery to stop everything when you notice a spark and say, hold it right there; asking an opening question, saying, I want to connect with you. It's about asking and opening ourselves up to the mystery of us.
So we were talking about maps, Matt and I have always had a love of maps. Matt, you were saying maps are very psychic, right? You were saying that a map gives you direction. It shows where you are and where you want to go. It's very comforting to know what turns are coming. And I think that's what friendship is. 
[00:02:19] Matt: Yes, no friendship is to me, more like a scavenger hunt. It's more like having maybe even an incomplete map that was hand drawn by somebody because you kind of know, or you think, you know, when you walk out your door that you want to climb a mountain, but then you end up in town because life has this annoying, wonderful habit of pushing you into directions maybe you didn't know you wanted to take. So for me, yes, maps are psychic. Maps are omniscient. Maps are just beautiful things. I mean, you know, in the squares of the map, it contains every single street, every single, et cetera, et cetera. But life is more unanticipated. 
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:17:53</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Story - ]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Dec 2021 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
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                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-the-story</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-the-story</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're talking about the art of the story and how stories shape our lives. Does every story really come down to the two basic plotlines of a stranger comes to rides into town and/or someone goes on a journey? Bottom line is that we are the directors of our own stories (our own lives) and we can create any story we wish.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">if you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace </span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript - The Art of the Story</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Stop it. Are you serious? Hello? No. So you're saying no. What about Legally Blonde? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> She takes trip. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Damn she does. She does. She does. Ah, all right. How about Love Actually? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, that's too many stories. You got to pick a story. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know. Trying to grade a novel. Right dude, one guy does take a trip.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He goes to Portugal. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I hate that. You're right. Okay guys. So what we're talking about, uh, Matt and I have been talking about stories and how every story comes to. One, one thing, like one, what do you call it? What even call it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Two basic plots. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the basic plot that comes into every story, like, well, this is just what Matt and I have been riffing on is something that you said, what was his name?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">John Gardner a writer. Wait, no, you said </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes, not Grisham. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> . All right. So the whole idea is. This one writer said, every story, every plot line comes to every story comes to this point </span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We're talking about the art of the story and how stories shape our lives. Does every story really come down to the two basic plotlines of a stranger comes to rides into town and/or someone goes on a journey? Bottom line is that we are the directors of our own stories (our own lives) and we can create any story we wish.
if you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)
 buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
 
Transcript - The Art of the Story
[00:00:00] Fawn: Stop it. Are you serious? Hello? No. So you're saying no. What about Legally Blonde? 
[00:00:06] Matt: She takes trip. 
[00:00:08] Fawn: Damn she does. She does. She does. Ah, all right. How about Love Actually? 
[00:00:15] Matt: See, that's too many stories. You got to pick a story. 
[00:00:17] Fawn: All right. 
[00:00:20] Matt: I don't know. Trying to grade a novel. Right dude, one guy does take a trip.
He goes to Portugal. 
[00:00:29] Fawn: I hate that. You're right. Okay guys. So what we're talking about, uh, Matt and I have been talking about stories and how every story comes to. One, one thing, like one, what do you call it? What even call it?
[00:00:45] Matt: Two basic plots. 
[00:00:46] Fawn: So the basic plot that comes into every story, like, well, this is just what Matt and I have been riffing on is something that you said, what was his name?
John Gardner a writer. Wait, no, you said 
[00:00:59] Matt: yes, not Grisham. 
[00:00:59] Fawn: . All right. So the whole idea is. This one writer said, every story, every plot line comes to every story comes to this point ]]>
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                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Story - ]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're talking about the art of the story and how stories shape our lives. Does every story really come down to the two basic plotlines of a stranger comes to rides into town and/or someone goes on a journey? Bottom line is that we are the directors of our own stories (our own lives) and we can create any story we wish.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">if you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace </span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript - The Art of the Story</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Stop it. Are you serious? Hello? No. So you're saying no. What about Legally Blonde? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> She takes trip. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Damn she does. She does. She does. Ah, all right. How about Love Actually? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, that's too many stories. You got to pick a story. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know. Trying to grade a novel. Right dude, one guy does take a trip.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He goes to Portugal. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I hate that. You're right. Okay guys. So what we're talking about, uh, Matt and I have been talking about stories and how every story comes to. One, one thing, like one, what do you call it? What even call it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Two basic plots. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the basic plot that comes into every story, like, well, this is just what Matt and I have been riffing on is something that you said, what was his name?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">John Gardner a writer. Wait, no, you said </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes, not Grisham. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> . All right. So the whole idea is. This one writer said, every story, every plot line comes to every story comes to this point </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> comes to two plot lines,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> two plot lines, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> one of two plot lines, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a stranger rides into town.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A person goes on a journey. What does this have to do with friendship? Hold on. We'll get around to that. But, so we're talking about that and it's, I I'm in disbelief because any story I pop out with, like I'll, I'll take out of my head. Oh, gosh, it totally goes to that. A stranger rides into town or a person goes on a journey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When you first said journey, I thought, oh, okay. I'll trip. Right? I'm like, not everyone takes a trip. That is true. But a journey is definitely different. Yes. It can be anything. It doesn't have to be in the physical realm. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Like you literally wander into a martial arts class. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Every story comes to that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You guys it's really a trip. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you will. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I think you could construct a story that didn't, but you'd have to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> work at it. Will you? Excuse me. You just said you could not. And now that we're amongst friends, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> super, really boring </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">story, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> how rude </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I could construct a super boring story that did not have any journeys and didn't have any strangers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You just told me that that was not possible before our friends were listening. Oh, now you're quiet? Oh my God. So anyway, hi, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world today. We are talking about the art of the story and how stories shape our lives. And there are, there are. Hmm. Where do I start?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We were looking at these different ways stories are told, and we're obsessed with stories right now because. Because I am working on children's books and we've been talking to authors and illustrators and just immersed in that world. But Matt has always been immersed in that world. Right, honey. You've always been, so, what's the word for it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Passionate </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> mythology. She has always fascinated me for sure. And that's where a lot of these kind of Paradigms, I guess come from; traditional classical stories, Epic of Gilgamesh. He takes a trip. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hold on. Don't get ahead of us. Don't get ahead. Hold on a second. Dude, takes a trip. So a stranger rides into town, a person goes on a journey. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So here's my question, bringing it to friendship. So we also walked into this whole area where different artists, different authors get into different plot lines and saying that the story has to have this kind of up and down situation. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The university of Vermont actually processed 1700 stories from project Gutenberg.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean it's, I mean, also the classes I'm taking, that's what they're teaching us </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and they're driving their same knowledge based on this, because this is literally project Gutenberg, by the way, you haven't actually gone there. It's pretty flipping awesome. You can just pull a copy of Alice in Wonderland or Alice adventures through the looking glass, I always get confused, but like classic tales that are passed to the public domain project Gutenberg has archived them and you can just download them and read.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To your heart's content.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wow, we can do anything we want </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">with them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> University of Vermont took them and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">processed them through. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So where I'm studying, they're always looking for the inciting incident, right? What was the inciting incident that led to this formation, this transformation in this story, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What was the the inciting incident in your life? Like what was the pivotal moment? Right. And so we started to look at these different things and we have, instead of like 17,000, we chose the one with a six. So here are here. Number one is rags to riches, which has a steady rise.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Would you say a steady rise in conflict? What's the rise? No, it's about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> start in the lowest of the low place and you end up in the highest of the high place. Now you can take a look at like, Quote, unquote classic literature, which I'm sure now is like heinous. But if you take a look at God, help me I'm about to say this, The Good Earth by Pearl S buck, which is a little cringe-worthy because it deals with kind of China, but not written by somebody who was Chinese.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So God knows how accurate or not accurate it is. If you omit the last chapter, it's literally this arc of this family, that's just. They, no, I'm sorry. They actually don't keep, cause there is a low point, but this is it's slow, but steady </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">arc up, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know what? I just feel like, okay, I'm going to read the rest, but I feel like any of these is open to interpretation, but okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's just go on number two, riches to rags, which is a steady fall is how </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you described it, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> which is just a depressing story to read, I suppose, riches </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to rags again, it depends on. Oh, I'll get into it later. So then you have, Icarus? Yes. Uh, number three is the Icarus rise and then a fall. Then you have number four is Oedipus Oedipus.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have a fall, a rise and a fall. Number five is a Cinderella one, which is a rise a fall, and then a rise. Then number six is. Why is everything like men, men, man, in a hole, a person in a hole, which is the fall and then arise. Now here's my thing. It depends where you start your story. It depends on how.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It just depends. It depends where you start your story. It also depends on how we narrate or how we view our stories. And now by stories, I'm talking about our lives, there's always the art of the story and how they shape our lives. It's the way we think about them. It's the way we perceive these stories.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's the way we talk about them. It's where we choose to focus on. Right. So anyone, like, if I have a one particular chapter in my life, I can have it be rags to riches in that one tiny minute area of time. Or it could be, which is to rags. It could be Icarus.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It could be all these things, bringing it to friendship though, I was wondering, are there different types of friends, kind of like, I see them like as angels these different plots or storylines in life, there may be one steady friend that rides with you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Through all these different stages, , the steady rise or the steady fall, the rise, and then a fall, a fall rise and a fall, all of that stuff, right? Could there be one person that's with you throughout all these things? And is the number three friend that we talk about; the number three that just loves you no matter what and how do we know if they are there?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do we know? Because we may not be aware of them or even notice them. Like I always say it could be a squirrel. Which could be depressing, you know, cause you want a person, person to talk to, but I'm just saying, could there be a force along the way, like last night, we didn't want to watch the whole thing, but when you went to bed, you know, the girls and I stay up on the weekends to like every day, but yes, every day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, okay. Maybe every day since the pandemic, for sure. It's our bonding time, honestly. Because so much has been going on in the world. It's our time to get a big sleeping bag, sit on our tiny couch together and. Huddle up and go, what is happening in the world? We'll look at like funny comedians talking about what happened. It's just a stress reliever for us. It's a way to laugh at things that are tragic, but you know, not that you should be laughing and tragic things, but obviously it's affecting us and affecting the kids on... </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's a way of releasing the tension around a traumatic event for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's a way to check in and be shoulder to shoulder and go look, we're not alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, let's look at it this way or let's move through this or let's at least let's talk about it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's the most important thing is just because you can't solve somebody's problem doesn't mean you can't talk and go through it with them and offer them some advice, even if the choose </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to ignore or not, there doesn't even need to be advised by just to know that you're both or three or four or five of you are witnessing this thing together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That you're not crazy. Like the world is crazy and you know, like you can just look at things together and know we're not alone. This is some scary stuff guys. Right. But anyway, so what we were doing was we were not looking at the news or anything like that, but we saw snippets of Castaway. Do you remember that movie with Tom Hanks, Tom Hanks?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How, by the way, Tom </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hanks constantly working constantly doing it feels like whatever he wants and like flipping, being awesome at </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. So what happened was we saw the last part of movie. We had never seen the whole movie. So we saw the last part of the movie and then the movies are playing again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So we saw the beginning. I'm like, you guys, that's all we need. Right. They're like, yeah, that's all we need because we didn't want the whole trauma and the devastation that most of the movie is about. So, going back to what I was trying to say is sometimes it's not the friend that you think is with you through the whole time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For example, in this movie Cast Away, the Tom Hanks character, gets into a plane. He ends up on a deserted island for four years. And his friend, is this volleyball? Wilson, Wilson. So Wilson carried him through. And I think it was a FedEx package. I don't know. I didn't see </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the whole movie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I guess he worked at FedEx and he crashed with a whole cargo plane full of stuff. And he opened, he opened every single box and Wilson was in one of the boxes, the open I'm sorry. He opened every single box. He left one envelope sealed and he </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> delivers it at the end of the day. It wasn't an envelope. It was a package.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We saw that part. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it was like the FedEx envelope </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> package thing, by the way, when his papers. It was paper. It was divorce </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> papers, I think really ends up delivering to the woman. No, he doesn't open it, but you see it, it gets opened at the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> end. No, we didn't see that part. Maybe it was cut because we were watching it on cable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We didn't have it on like the whole movie drives </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in the middle of nowhere and it drops off the package at a, but she wasn't there, but she wasn't there. So he drops it off, but then she opens it later. Or maybe you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> find that out. They did not. They. Leave that or in the, well, it was not, oh my God, here we go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're arguing. It was not, we did not see that part. Okay. All you saw was that PA nevermind, whatever, man. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sorry folks, if I'm misquoting the movie too. Cause I haven't seen that in a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> long time. Well, it had angel wings on it and so he leaves a note and says, thank you. This package saved my life. So. For those of us who are just only watching the endings, we're like, okay, this package saved his life for like, maybe he had something to do with faith, faith.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know, but whatever it was anyway, then I understood without having seen the part you just said, this was total destiny. Any who? I'm just saying Wilson was a friend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> See, I want to talk more about the movie, but I shouldn't, because I'm just going to derail </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the conversation. Oh. Stranger rides into town.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A person goes on a journey. Right? Right. What, what about it? Well, you're the one who said everything comes to that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, I'm sorry, did not, um, Tom Hanks go on a journey. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. I thought you were going to talk about it. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I was going to talk about the wings on the package. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Well, that turns out to be like how he escapes because there's a bay and there's big tall waves and he can't get through the waves and he tries once or twice on a raft.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then he finally comes to a point where, you know, he puts a sale on the raft, but then it gets blown one way or the other way. Then he comes to a point where he realizes that he has to get past some of the waves and then deploy this sail thing, which ends up looking just similar to the wings on the package.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Finally escapes the bay with. And this is going to shred your whole friend thing. He ends up, I believe losing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wilson. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, I saw that he lost Wilson, but say that's, that's the whole point. And it's just because you have a friend doesn't mean that friend is going to stick with you forever, but Wilson was there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He didn't secure him to the raft. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yo. Oh, my God, your friend is not there to take care of every detail of your life. He's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a volleyball. You better say, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> oh my God. And plus the way when he did lose Wilson, the, the that loss, the crying, oh my God. I was balling. Right. But that's very real. Well, obviously that was real for that character.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But what I'm saying is when you realize that friendship has met its purpose and has moved on. It's devastating. Why are you looking at me like that again? Don't make me shoot video of our podcast. All right. So, or are there different friends? Do we have friends for different chapters in our lives? I say yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But do you think there's one that could be there? That's invisible maybe. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Invisible friends. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Imaginary friends. There's a show coming up. I've been writing about and the invisible friend. Absolutely. And, um, it's not the invisible you're thinking of, like, I'm not talking about mistreating someone and not recognizing them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just saying there are quiet forces at play </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well let's not jump ahead of ourselves </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So back to what we're talking about. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean, there's certainly our friends for certain chapters, for sure. I mean, I think almost everybody has had a childhood friend who's moved away or, or you've moved away from them or you switched schools or you outgrew, or they outgrew you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Look, I went to the dentist a few years ago, the pediatric dentist that we have, and it was in the first couple of years, we had moved to this state. We were talking about friendship and he is a. Coast guard person And he was, and I'm mentioning the coast guard situation is because he travels a lot or in his life, he always moved around from place to place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he had this theory that he shared with me because he was like, oh, how is it living here? I'm like, I don't know. We've we met these friends and then they try not, not to be friends at all. So that was heartbreaking. And I wish I had his exact words. The feeling stayed in my heart and my spirit and it helped me out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But he said there is such a thing as a transition friend, when you move to a place, you always meet people that end up guiding you to where you need to be. And they're not the friends that will be there for you forever. He called them transitioned friends, something like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not sure if he actually used the word transition. That's what he was saying is that seems to always happen. And it's weird because we were like, what happened? How come we're not friends with them anymore? Or how come they're not friends with us anymore. Right. It's like they, they kind of lead you to where you need to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so there are those kinds of friends. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Are there friends for certain phases or aspects? And perhaps even inside of the stories that you're talking about, or these arcs. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And we always talk about capacity, right? There are friends who have the capacity to be the kind of friend that drives you to the airport.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are friends who don't have that capacity, but they have the capacity to sit with you with a cup of coffee and talk about the events of the day or the events that are happening. Right. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Which again, that's, that's an important </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> thing too, though, but you have to recognize that each person has their own area of expertise and that expertise changes with the tides of life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You may be the airport friend one day and the next day, you're not the airport friends. You don't have that capacity for the airport. You have the capacity for something completely different, and we have to be open to that change. And not hold a person for a particular expertise and I'm saying expertise, but do you guys know what I'm saying is like, you can't always go to a friend for boyfriend troubles, not always.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? You can't hold them as the boyfriend expertise or the girlfriend expertise or the friend that can handle this situation. It changes all the time. So we have to have a clear slate and not hold anyone, even our family members; I mean, I believe friends are our family members, but we can't hold any one thing on anyone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to be open to an unfolding story for every single person as well as for yourself. Right? Your story's always changing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Certainly if you have a friend and they have a kid, oftentimes that means that their, their bandwidth just disappears and they don't have the time or the ability or the mental acumen to, to be there for sure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can I just have a, an aside, you just mentioned something. So for about three days I took a class. It was a one-on-one class with this teacher. She's a mom and I'm like, okay, that's cool. I'm a mom too. And I just assumed she could handle things the way I, I would handle things with the kids.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But she's not the same kind of mother that I am. But what I noticed was at the end of the three-day class period, I was so annoyed and angry on a deep level that I couldn't express. I was just, I felt like having a tantrum when the class was done. And I had to sit with myself and go, what is happening? Why am I feeling this way?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I kept replaying like the class, the three-day class kept coming back to my mind. I'm like, oh my God, that's it. She was literally not present at all. She was with her two year old, the lesson plan was very complicated and she was taking care of the house at the same time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She never stood still or sat still to have a conversation. So she was multitasking on such a hyper aggressive level that it made me want to have a tantrum. I'm like, that's why kids have tantrums because nobody felt her presence. Her presence was just, uh, um, uh, uh, whipping around Tasmanian devil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember that cartoon character, right? Like it was insane. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And you're at the pool saying, look at me, look at me, I'm going to do a dive and they're not looking. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just, she was not present for any of it. Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It was too much and I totally forgot why we had this tangent. You were talking about what. Anyway, just chalk it up to, oh, I was talking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> about how, when friends have babies, their bandwidth can deteriorate and they can't, they don't have as much energy to give because it's getting depleted. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, there's not as much energy to give that's for sure. But. I don't have the energy to give if you're constantly multitasking, if you want to be in 10 different places or three different places at the same time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, there is no energy, right. But you have to, I always think about it as focus or an area of research, if you will, if you think about it like that. If you see life as this grand, field where you come in, Your area in life, your focus will be, I'm going to be a molecular scientist. So I'm going to study these tiny, tiny little molecules, these tiny things, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your focus is on that. Your focus is not on building a building or giving speeches to millions of people, right? Your focus is on this tiny area that most people can't even see. And that's, that's where your energy goes, but if you try to do everything, then you're scattered and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you're not present. Do you understand what I'm saying? But you would have all the energy in the world for that molecule. We have to be open and not be so demanding. There's so many of us on the planet there are so many different types of friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I don't like the saying, but I'm going to say it anyway, but don't put all your eggs in one basket. We're all dealing with so much, especially these days, we're all tasked with so many things that there is no way we can handle and be a kind of a friend to everybody. And that doesn't mean have a bunch of friends and forget this one friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It means we need to come together as a community where someone has a wheelbarrow. Someone has some carrots, someone has... I don't know some art supplies, someone has a rug. Someone has a guitar, someone has made some lovely stew. If we bring all these things together, all these friends and all these contributions that is community, that is family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's what I'm talking about. But I feel like we've totally went away from the whole story aspect. Yes, we have. But that's just it. Have we? No, because there is a rise and fall constantly. If you look at the ocean, the tide comes in, it goes out. Sometimes there are tsunamis.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sometimes the ocean is very still and beautiful for us to swim in. And other times it's stormy, you get the falls the rise and everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are different story types and there are different friends. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think one of the key issues that we have is that oftentimes the story kind of types that we're talking about. Ragsriches, riches to rags, Icarus, Oedipus, Cinderella, man in a hole they don't generally encompass a person's entire life. They start at one point, they end at a different point, but because our lives are our lives, our lives are more like the ocean as far as rising and falling and yes, indeed there's a point in time that we start and a point in time that we end. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, you know, it's but our lives wouldn't necessarily make a great story because stories need drama and action and adventure. And we can go through long periods of not a lot of stuff happening so well, when you talk about friends, it's like if you take a look at these kind of story types, which are kind of starting and stopping somewhere in the middle of somebody's life, you know, you can see different friend types</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that exist inside of them from a Wilson to, you know, you can almost take a look in a Cinderella story. I think in the Disney version, certainly the mice are kind of always with Cinderella. with Icarus, his dad is always there and his dad is his friend. It just really depends on having an understanding that you could be right now, maybe your life as it extends out all the way, maybe right now, you're in a riches to rags aspect, which would really suck. Right. But then maybe you hit quote, unquote, bottom, whatever that looks like. And maybe that looks like I only have $1 million in the bank.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then you start your rags to riches part. Where you go from 1 million to 1 trillion who knows. And, you know, it's a question of maybe you can define your life as those times in which you had a companion, you had, you know, be it a spouse or be at a best friend or be it a Wilson. Maybe that's one aspect that defines a chapter in your life. Cause it gets kind of book-ended, it's kind of nice, but maybe you can take a look at, friends that exist inside of maybe just one chapter where maybe they extend across the entire book. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And like I said, sometimes it's a force that you're not even seeing</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's a friend. It could be anything could be anything for sure. It's the hand of fate. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You mentioned that sometimes life doesn't seem that interesting and boring maybe. I wanted to disagree with you. And then I remembered when I worked in LA, I was in between photo jobs. So I had took a job at a photo lab.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So half of the day I was in negative, dark. Back then when we had film, I was processing film and then I wouldn't have to get out of negative darkness and go in the harsh LA sunlight and drive all these, processed film to their designated photographers. Right. Cause it's a very high end photo lab.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like I was in traffic. And I was stuck there and I remember so dissatisfied with this job and my finances. And I'm like, where am I in my career? And then all of a sudden I had this thought, if this was a movie right now, my life, I would so fast forward through this, this is some boring unfulfilling stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I got so depressed. And then I thought to myself, well, I got to snap out of it. So I rolled down the window. And I stuck my hand out and I started to yell like, right. And just then a plane was cause I was near lax. Remember the bridge. And you could like, even the remember there was a bridge at lax, if you're on the freeway and sometimes the airplanes are just rolling on that bridge right above.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like w with they're right there. It's really scary. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So it's more about a tunnel with the, no, it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> was not a tunnel. It was a bridge. Okay. But whatever it doesn't matter. Anyway. So when I stuck my hand out to go woo right. To just change up my mind, right. A plane was landing, or I think it was, I don't know, a plane was going over me at the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Precise moment and it's sprayed fuel on my hand, I was like, I felt wet I brought my hand in and I rolled up the window and I had the stench of gasoline on me. Anyway, talk about left, right? Like that was exciting, but gosh, you know, maybe he should enjoy the luls, the little, the boring moments in your life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause you could, all of a sudden have some gasoline poured on you. What? The ones that do they like dump fuel. I don't have a clue. I wasn't there, whatever it was the jet engine, like it was probably the nasty stuff. They people live in that. But good Lord. It's sprayed on us all the time.any who I'm just saying life is always exciting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Actually, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> if you pay attention, I would, I would absolutely agree. And if you have an expectation, like, you know, if that part of the movie, if that part of your life had been a movie, then I would have expected that you had dropped film off to. Somebody famous or somebody comes to the door and you know, there's a weirdness to, you know, there's some kind of a weirdness to it because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there's always a weirdness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It doesn't have to be a famous person. I don't have to be delivering to a Maplethorpe. Is that what you said? I said, I'm sorry, I got, I just got </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> trusted and maybe there, maybe you drop it off to a famous person or maybe there's some weirdness happening at their door. So like, you know, maybe they're in the process.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Somebody is in the process of getting kicked out or who knows. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. I had gasoline </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sprayed on my arm and there you go. And that would be, that might be part of the, that might be part of the movie. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was, that was my life. Anyway. So that's it. I don't know what else to say today, other than I think you're right though.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think every story, and in this case, the key to finding friendship is a stranger rides into town or person goes on a journey. You could be a stranger going into a town that stranger could be you even meeting your own self. A person goes on a journey. There's always a journey to be had. Right. I think every, I think that right there, that writing rule, what is this called again?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What, it's a plot, the two basic plot, the two basic plots. And I think this works for friendship, something new, a stranger rides into town. So either meet somebody new, right. Be the new person or. Take a journey that journey could be, you're still stuck in your car, but all of a sudden you have a journey of life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How am I going to clean up this jet fuel off of my arm? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> True. And I think it's about being open, being open to change. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, yeah, but if you follow these two rules, the plot rule, a stranger rides into town, a person goes on and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sounds </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> good. That's it? Anything you want to add? Nope, not a wit, not a wit no wit for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Matt. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. I'll add a wit I was watching reminiscence this week. Interesting movie. It's an interesting movie, not Fawn friendly futuristic and all the rest of it. But, your, female lead tells your male lead. She's she's like, tell me a story.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he's like all the stories I know end badly. And so she says, tell me a story and end it in the middle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's what I was saying. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know. And like I said, I found a, I found a something out there in the world. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is your, if you can choose. You're the director of your life, you can choose how you view the story, how you narrate it and how you live it and how you direct it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, of course, I think there are forces out there that you're also working with, right? Yes, that's great. Did he do it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He told her a story and ended it in the middle. Good. Was it good? It was there. Well, there's an arc and there's a film noire aspect to it and everything, but yes, the story was good, but then he ends up reliving the story all the way through every single time and it ends it actually, I think incident a decent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, it doesn't seem stand in a decent </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> place. Okay. I'm going to repeat it again. And we're going to sign off until we talk to you in the next few days. All right, everybody. We love you. Make sure you check us out. Our friendly world.com. There are things happening that we're working on still we're really excited about, but remember a stranger rides into town, a person goes on a journey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We love you. Thank you so much. We'll talk to you in a few days, guys. Be well. Bye bye. Bye.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[We're talking about the art of the story and how stories shape our lives. Does every story really come down to the two basic plotlines of a stranger comes to rides into town and/or someone goes on a journey? Bottom line is that we are the directors of our own stories (our own lives) and we can create any story we wish.
if you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)
 buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
 
Transcript - The Art of the Story
[00:00:00] Fawn: Stop it. Are you serious? Hello? No. So you're saying no. What about Legally Blonde? 
[00:00:06] Matt: She takes trip. 
[00:00:08] Fawn: Damn she does. She does. She does. Ah, all right. How about Love Actually? 
[00:00:15] Matt: See, that's too many stories. You got to pick a story. 
[00:00:17] Fawn: All right. 
[00:00:20] Matt: I don't know. Trying to grade a novel. Right dude, one guy does take a trip.
He goes to Portugal. 
[00:00:29] Fawn: I hate that. You're right. Okay guys. So what we're talking about, uh, Matt and I have been talking about stories and how every story comes to. One, one thing, like one, what do you call it? What even call it?
[00:00:45] Matt: Two basic plots. 
[00:00:46] Fawn: So the basic plot that comes into every story, like, well, this is just what Matt and I have been riffing on is something that you said, what was his name?
John Gardner a writer. Wait, no, you said 
[00:00:59] Matt: yes, not Grisham. 
[00:00:59] Fawn: . All right. So the whole idea is. This one writer said, every story, every plot line comes to every story comes to this point ]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:33:58</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Perceiving Together and Overcoming Adversity with our Friend Vanessa Brantley-Newton]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Dec 2021 02:33:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/perceiving-together-and-overcoming-adversity-with-our-friend-vanessa-brantley-newton</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/perceiving-together-and-overcoming-adversity-with-our-friend-vanessa-brantley-newton</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>With our friend and author/illustrator/singer/all-around artist extraordinaire, Vanessa Brantley-Newton, we discuss Perceiving together (also the meaning of Synesthesia), and overcoming adversity is the topic. We discuss thriving in life and building a toolbox for overcoming anything in life. We get into the concept of HOW WE ARE SEEN vs SHOWING PEOPLE WHO WE ARE. And of course, we get into the etymology of today's topic: <em>OVERCOME</em>.</p>
<p>If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p>To reach Vanessa or learn more about her work:</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/">https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/">https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/</a></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript:Perceiving Together and Overcoming Adversity with Our Friend Vanessa Brantley-Newton</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello everyone. Welcome. Hello? Hello. Hi. We are here today with our beautiful friend, Vanessa Brantley Newton. She's here with us.Hi Vanessa. Thank you for coming </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Thank you for having me back Excited to be here with you. All </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> today's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">topic is perceiving together and overcoming adversity, and there's so much to say there's so many ways we can go with this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just wanted to talk about my tantrum that I had a few days ago. So Vanessa, I either have major tantrums by myself in the bathroom or the greatest epiphany's in the bathroom. I don't know what it is. It's my conference room. It's my place of worship in a way, like I just get messages in the bathroom or I send messages And a few days ago, I was so, um, I don't even know the word for it. I was just having a tantrum. I was so frustrated. And afterwards I was so embarrassed. Cause I was, I was yelling all kinds of profanity to myself and I come out of the shower and you all were quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You and the girls. Yeah. And then I felt worse. I felt like, oh my God, I am the worst human being. I'm the worst mother. I'm just the worst. And then, so I excused myself from dinner and I said, you guys just have dinner by yourselves I'm not, not eating. And I went in the corner, sitting at my computer in the corner, at my desk . I texted Holly and I just said, help, period. And then I kind of told her what happened in the bathroom. And then I feel like a terrible person and a terrible mom for having the kids hear me have a tantrum to my all by myself. I wasn't talking to anyone. She pointed out that when you don't realize how thin thinly or stretched out, what's the word, I forgot the words you're stretched thin to the point where you don't even realize it, when you have tantrums like that it's for you to realize that you need to take care of yourself.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[With our friend and author/illustrator/singer/all-around artist extraordinaire, Vanessa Brantley-Newton, we discuss Perceiving together (also the meaning of Synesthesia), and overcoming adversity is the topic. We discuss thriving in life and building a toolbox for overcoming anything in life. We get into the concept of HOW WE ARE SEEN vs SHOWING PEOPLE WHO WE ARE. And of course, we get into the etymology of today's topic: OVERCOME.
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
To reach Vanessa or learn more about her work:
https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/
https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/
 
Transcript:Perceiving Together and Overcoming Adversity with Our Friend Vanessa Brantley-Newton
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello everyone. Welcome. Hello? Hello. Hi. We are here today with our beautiful friend, Vanessa Brantley Newton. She's here with us.Hi Vanessa. Thank you for coming 
back. 
[00:00:16] Vanessa: Thank you for having me back Excited to be here with you. All 
[00:00:20] Fawn: today's 
topic is perceiving together and overcoming adversity, and there's so much to say there's so many ways we can go with this.
I just wanted to talk about my tantrum that I had a few days ago. So Vanessa, I either have major tantrums by myself in the bathroom or the greatest epiphany's in the bathroom. I don't know what it is. It's my conference room. It's my place of worship in a way, like I just get messages in the bathroom or I send messages And a few days ago, I was so, um, I don't even know the word for it. I was just having a tantrum. I was so frustrated. And afterwards I was so embarrassed. Cause I was, I was yelling all kinds of profanity to myself and I come out of the shower and you all were quiet.
You and the girls. Yeah. And then I felt worse. I felt like, oh my God, I am the worst human being. I'm the worst mother. I'm just the worst. And then, so I excused myself from dinner and I said, you guys just have dinner by yourselves I'm not, not eating. And I went in the corner, sitting at my computer in the corner, at my desk . I texted Holly and I just said, help, period. And then I kind of told her what happened in the bathroom. And then I feel like a terrible person and a terrible mom for having the kids hear me have a tantrum to my all by myself. I wasn't talking to anyone. She pointed out that when you don't realize how thin thinly or stretched out, what's the word, I forgot the words you're stretched thin to the point where you don't even realize it, when you have tantrums like that it's for you to realize that you need to take care of yourself.
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                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Perceiving Together and Overcoming Adversity with our Friend Vanessa Brantley-Newton]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p>With our friend and author/illustrator/singer/all-around artist extraordinaire, Vanessa Brantley-Newton, we discuss Perceiving together (also the meaning of Synesthesia), and overcoming adversity is the topic. We discuss thriving in life and building a toolbox for overcoming anything in life. We get into the concept of HOW WE ARE SEEN vs SHOWING PEOPLE WHO WE ARE. And of course, we get into the etymology of today's topic: <em>OVERCOME</em>.</p>
<p>If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p>To reach Vanessa or learn more about her work:</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/">https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/">https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/</a></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript:Perceiving Together and Overcoming Adversity with Our Friend Vanessa Brantley-Newton</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello everyone. Welcome. Hello? Hello. Hi. We are here today with our beautiful friend, Vanessa Brantley Newton. She's here with us.Hi Vanessa. Thank you for coming </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Thank you for having me back Excited to be here with you. All </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> today's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">topic is perceiving together and overcoming adversity, and there's so much to say there's so many ways we can go with this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just wanted to talk about my tantrum that I had a few days ago. So Vanessa, I either have major tantrums by myself in the bathroom or the greatest epiphany's in the bathroom. I don't know what it is. It's my conference room. It's my place of worship in a way, like I just get messages in the bathroom or I send messages And a few days ago, I was so, um, I don't even know the word for it. I was just having a tantrum. I was so frustrated. And afterwards I was so embarrassed. Cause I was, I was yelling all kinds of profanity to myself and I come out of the shower and you all were quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You and the girls. Yeah. And then I felt worse. I felt like, oh my God, I am the worst human being. I'm the worst mother. I'm just the worst. And then, so I excused myself from dinner and I said, you guys just have dinner by yourselves I'm not, not eating. And I went in the corner, sitting at my computer in the corner, at my desk . I texted Holly and I just said, help, period. And then I kind of told her what happened in the bathroom. And then I feel like a terrible person and a terrible mom for having the kids hear me have a tantrum to my all by myself. I wasn't talking to anyone. She pointed out that when you don't realize how thin thinly or stretched out, what's the word, I forgot the words you're stretched thin to the point where you don't even realize it, when you have tantrums like that it's for you to realize that you need to take care of yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We talked for two hours on the phone. Wow. You know, that's how best friends do. That's what good friends do, right? Holly can totally spot all my lies. Cause you know, I'm like Holly, I'm worthless, nobody cares. I'm a no good such and such. And she's like, no, that's a lie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she'll give you the list. A friend is there to give you a list of who you truly are because the really good friend loves you for all your parts. Like I read, uh, I don't have it in front of me, but I read this thing about this little girl at age six, who wrote, I'll say it on another show, but, but she wrote about the, what is love.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she said something like love is when you're missing teeth and you're not afraid to smile. 'cause, you know, I have to go get it actually. Oh, I wish I had it in front of me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's about not being afraid to smile because you know, your friends will love you for all your missing parts, you know? Like they love you no matter what, all the missing parts. And so once that happened and I cried and cried and she set me straight, I went to bed. I actually slept cause I have insomnia, but I, I actually slept.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when I woke up, I had this epiphany that started from the bathroom. Right. And , it was about how we're seen it's about adversity. Yes. But it's about how we are seen versus showing people who we are. It's different from who they think we are based on their limited views, whoever they are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">However way they see you is based on their limited experience and their limited point of view. And so what was happening with me that one of the things that led to my tantrum was it was about changing beliefs. I ended up doing an early morning meditation on changing beliefs and I was asking myself, what belief can I change about myself?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What is it that I'm believing right now? And I really couldn't come up with the answer, but I went into the meditation and then it just struck me. what I got was this, what I got was we become what people see us. W, how do I say this? We become what people see us as if we keep replaying things that happened to us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So for example, I keep replaying certain things that happened to me over the course of the last 10 years. The last 10 years have been really weird. And I don't mean the weird that we spoke about in our previous episode, which is magical. It's fate. The etymology of weird, means fate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It means destiny it's magic. It wasn't that. It was like weird as in for some reason, I started attracting a lot of hate and racism coming towards me in ways I had never experienced before. I got weak, you know, I'm tired. I'm a new mom and I'm exposed to I'm vulnerable to so many other things that I never saw before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So in a way I'm trying to prep myself to see what's out there. What are the dangers out there? What are the thoughts out there that I'm not, seeing, because I'm, I'm oblivious in a happy way. And I'm like, and I told myself, I can't be happily oblivious. I need to know what is going on so I can protect the family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so the last 10 years, certain things have happened. That have been kind of outrageous, like the things that are said to me, uh, things that have been done that are extremely racist. And so I keep playing these things that happen and it doesn't have to be about racism. It could be whatever is of adversity for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But for me, it was replaying all these scenarios where people treated me in a certain way, so I could understand why they did that. Did I imagine it? No, I didn't. Why did they do that? Was it because of something I did? Was it because of the way I was dressed? Was it because, I mean, was I extra tan that day?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know. I, I mean, just like going over it over and over again in my head, in my heart, trying to replay what happened so I can make sense of it. The adversity, the, the racism, whatever it is. And thinking about the things that are set to us by other people. When you keep replaying that and it reaches your heart, we begin to assume that limited and often case untrue identity, you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you guys know, do you understand what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> I'm saying, Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so, because they see me as a maid, even though I've introduced us as, hi, I'm Fawn. This is Matt, my husband. We are your neighbors across the way, you know, I'm a photographer, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. They would still see me and say, Maria, Maria, and think I was the maid that was showing up that day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because they're not looking at me. And so I, I think to myself, well, maybe I'm the maid. And so I walk around the house. I'm like, am I just, you're maid you guys like, I'm the only one that cleans the bathroom around here. Like everything, it bleeds into every aspect of my life. And I start assuming that maid identity that some ignoramus, placed on me without seeing me properly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I started to remember who I really was in this meditation when I started to realize, oh my God, I've assumed this identity that this ignorant person put on me. And I'm going to change that belief system and remember who I am. And I'm an eternal force. I'm a powerful multicultural entity here to bring love and friendship to the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am extremely powerful. I'm an artist. I am a speaker. I am here to show you who I am. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What I want to talk about today is showing people who we are. But everyone, I know you all know, Vanessa, Vanessa is the most amazing artist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, you all know Vanessa Brantley Newton. Go to the show previous to this. I just want to read your bio. I want to read you her bio. Sorry, Vanessa. I'm going to take time to do that</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">because I just, I love, I love Vanessa so much and I go on and on and let me just read you, her bio listened to this. Vanessa Brantley Newton was born during the civil rights movement and attended school in Newark, New Jersey. She was part of a diverse, tight knit community and learned the importance of acceptance and empowerment at an early age. Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats was the first time she saw herself in a children's book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was a defining moment in her life and has made her into the artist she is today. As an illustrator, vanessa includes children of all ethnic backgrounds in her stories and artwork. She wants all children to see their unique experiences reflected in the books they read so they can feel the same sense of empowerment and recognition she experienced as a young reader. Vanessa celebrates self-love and acceptance for all cultures through her work and hopes to inspire young readers, to find their own voices. She first learned to express herself as a little girl through song, growing up in a musical family. Vanessa's parents taught her how to sing to help her overcome her stuttering.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Each night, the family would gather to make music together. With her mom on piano, her dad on guitar and Vanessa and her sister Coy singing the blues, gospel, spirituals, and jazz. Now, whenever she illustrates, music fills the air and finds its way into her art. The children she draws can be seen dancing wiggling and moving freely across the page in an expression of happiness. Music is a constant celebration, no matter the occasion and Vanessa hopes her illustrations bring joy to others with the same magic of a beautiful melody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Vanessa Brantley Newton is not only an illustrator. She's an author she has over. We talked about this last episode. How many books? Well, I said 78, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but I was wrong. And that was illustrated 78, but it was more like illustrated. I think it was in the eighties. It's probably in the nineties. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's in the nineties.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How many books are there, Vanessa? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Nice. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> 92. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So I want to figure this out. You guys, I want to figure this thing out. Let's fix the world today. Let's build a toolbox for overcoming whatever it is that is hurting you in life. We're going to overcome it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And before we get into that, I have the etymology of overcome and adverse. It's quite beautiful. Vanessa talk, and then I'm going to let Vanessa time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Okay. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> "OVER" old English, O F E R. It is beyond, above in place or position higher than. "COME" is elementary and transitive verb of motion. Old English is C U M A N: to move with a purpose of reaching or so as to reach some point, to arrive by movement or progression,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">also move into view, appear, become perceptible, come to oneself, recover, arrive, assemble. That was just one word. COME. Now, "ADVERSE" the old French- means contrary, opposing, antagonistic, unfriendly, folks, unfriendly, contrary, foreign. And when you look at the Latin, which is ADVERSIS, it means turned against, turned toward, fronting, facing. If you add AD plus VERTERE, it's to turn, to turn back, be turned, convert, transform, transform.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what got me too, Vanessa. Transform. Translate. Be changed. The PIE root, W E R we talked about this word with our weird friend, right? The weird friend. So from the PIE root, W E R, means to turn to bend. And so there you have it now let's fix the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Vanessa, what do you think?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How, yeah, no, no. I just feel like, when you go through things, I go through things. I always think, what would Holly do? What would Vanessa do? What would Vanessa think of the situation? I always ask you cause we're in a marriage together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, what do you think what's happening? So I don't know Vanessa, with all that's happening in the entire world, right now, everything, everything that we're all going through, all the dislocations, all the racism, all this stuff that's been happening, all the disease and the financial hardships and the pandemic, all of that. How are we making it through?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We did a whole show on how we come out? How do we emerge from all this? You know, kind of like a hibernation. I feel like. In a way our society has been in hibernation. How do we come out of this? Everything has a hibernation period. We even have had it in our societies where like all of a sudden we woke up and there's the Renaissance and all this beautiful art came about, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and all these new ideas came about. Volcanoes go through hibernation. They come back. They explode, right? We did a whole show on all the different ways of hibernation that exist in life. And I feel like we've been through a hibernation and in a way we've been living through a nightmare.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do we wake up? How do we act? How do we overcome all this adversity?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> You know, Fawn, I wish I had the answer. I really do. I wish I had the answer. I really don't have the answer. But I'm going to say this. I believe that a lot of the transformation, I don't want to say changing the reason why I don't like change or I don't like the word change; change is something I do with my clothes. I was going to put in the washing machine on the wash machine and wash it and whatever change the outfit I'm gonna wear something totally different. But when you want transformation, you will go through your closet and you will pull out all the things that no longer serve you. Uh, and you will either find a way to recycle it or give it away or somehow move forward and get the things that you probably, you know, you, you need.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I've said you, several times, this starts with us. This really starts with us. All of us have been raised in different ways. Some of us have come from homes where racism may have been taught. When you see somebody that looks different from you, and it's not just, you know, that they can see an Iranian or an African-American or whatever, sometimes even white on white, it can, be, oh, his hair is too long or she's too fat or she's, you know, whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so there's all kinds of words that start coming at us from people, but it really is how do we view ourselves? How are we feeling about who we are? Uh, we want other people to respect us, but we don't have respect. We want other people to bring us in, but we won't even bring our own selves in. We won't even give ourselves permission to live; to have our own life to say what we need to say to be who we need to be, because I don't want to embarrass my parents or I don't want to embarrass my spouse, my mom, my lover, my friends, or whatever, you know? And, and so we shoved down a lot of our light. We shove it down and it is, well, I don't want to be, this, guru happy go lucky all the time, because now that's getting a bad rap.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, if you are, if you're a happy go, lucky, that's getting a really, really bad rap right now. And, unfortunately, um, I feel sorry for those people, cause I'd rather choose happy over, over anything. It's to choose happy and to, choose it well, not that everyday I'm going to wake up excited and all that kind of stuff, but at least getting to a point where I can center myself through meditation and prayer and the affirmations that I say to me in the morning, I am a person who had been through a lot of adversity, a lot of adversity, you know, and it is not just the racism that is in the world, but it's even the racism that I endure, even in my own community where if you're too dark, you're not going to get a husband. You're not gonna, you know, you're not gonna get a girlfriend if you are, if you're too dark, but then, you hear from our own people, I don't mind calling it out. You're "Come here with your little black self" or your, you know, the N word or whatever. That's my, you know, N word, you know, or that's how they talk in the community.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But as a child in seeing what was on TV, even in the black community, if it wasn't light-skinned, it was considered not acceptable. Something's wrong. So for many years, as a child, I walked around thinking something was wrong with me because I have brown skin and I would even hear it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I said, from my grandparents, my father's mother who, um, they were, and you always hear this in the African-American communities. We had Indian blood or whatever. My grandmother was Indian. I've got the papers to prove it. She was Indian and African-American because they mixed, but the thing is, is that she had her preference of color in her grandchildren.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So all my lighter skinned cousins who had what was called "good hair" they were accepted me, however, not so much. And she wouldn't, she would make it very, very plain and it was the saying, but you can still hear sometimes in the African-American community um, "if they're darker than this paper bag, don't bring them home"..</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so, dealing with that adversity when it's close to you, it's very hard, but then going out in the world. And I shared before how we were the second family in a white neighborhood and they let us know right away. We don't want you here. We don't want you here. They didn't care that my father and my mother worked, two jobs each. They didn't care that we were good kids in school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They didn't care any of those things. My skin blocked them from getting to know me or anything. It's something that if I allow it, it can come back in and rush in over and over and over and over and over again until one day I decided I wanna change this energy here. Because we all, whether you believe in energy or not, you can say, oh, I I'm not into that foolishness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Energy believes in you, negativity belongs and believes in you. Positivity and optimism believes in you as well. Pick one. And if it's going to be the negative thing, know this honey, it's going to come back a hundred miles an hour. If you are thinking, oh, everywhere I go, people always confronting me or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is the energy that you're putting out. It's like when I go into conferences and I really checked the room before I get ready to speak, I really kind of stand there and I feel the pulse of the room. Is it one of excitement? Is it one of whatever? Is it one of adversityI've gone to a bunch of SCBWI conferences, for the whole of my career. And. Usually I'm the only, maybe one of five black people that are in the room. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What is it? What does it stand for? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> The SCBWI, which is the society of children's book writers and illustrators and it is an international thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's not just here in the United States, but it's all over the world. And when I come into the room, like I said, I'm usually one of five, maybe black people. And it's like over 2000 or 2,500 white people. And you kind of look around and like, well, where are the other people? And then I had a couple people walk up to me, "Vanessa, why don't more black people come to this conference?"</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I cocked my head like, really,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You gotta be far reaching. We gotta be far reaching. And and not afraid to reach across the table to somebody that does not look like us. It is not enough for us to say, well, I have an Iranian friend. I have a white friend. Well, I have an Asian friend. No, you don't have to say it. If it's active in your life, trust me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you were invited, you and Matt were invited to my house, you would be so comfortable because there would be somebody there that looks like Matt, that looks like you, that look like your children, because that's the world that I live in. But to tell you that adversity has not been a part of that. And let me just say this too. Adversity is not as bad as we think it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not. Rejection sometimes is our indication that we have outgrown people, a situation or whatever, and we're just some of us too comfortable with staying in the mess. We're too comfortable with it. Everybody hates me. Um, nobody likes me. I want to eat some worms, you know, what was going to, you know, stay there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's by choice. It's your choice though? It's your choice. It's not other people. Well, they won't let me, well, they won't let me, they won't let me, will you let you? Will you let you see something different that it is not always other people. It's the fear that we're emitting out of our pores; our spiritual pores that attract those people that want to attack us because they can sniff it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They can sniff it a mile away. I walk in the room. I don't, I don't give a flip about design or nothing. I don't, I don't care. Okay. I walk in the room and my sheer happy will either make you run the other way or all you want to do is drop your stuff and hug me. It's the truth. It is the frequency that I live under is one of joy, one of love, one of acceptance, one of not just tolerating people; I love to celebrate people. Like today is Matt's birthday! Happy birthday, Matt!,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> thank you. Thank you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's so true. And that's so true. And that's why it's so good to have a friend to catch you in a lie and say, Hey, Hey, Hey, snap out of it. You know, break it up because you're falling into the trap of someone else's thoughts. You, you know, even if you attracted it, even if whatever, it doesn't matter, if you're in a situation like that, you have to snap out of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And thank God. You know, if you look around, there are friends. It may not be a friend you think like, you may think, I don't know this person, but there is someone around you. It could be a squirrel that will snap you out of it and let you know, whoa, this is not, you show them who you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. And sometimes it's just being who you are. You don't even realize what you're projecting out there and people react to it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And don't let them, don't let them influence with their prejudice, who they think you are, you got to, and it seems like a lot of work. It seems like, oh my God, I have to constantly fight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or I have to constantly prove something. No, you just have to live who you are instead of getting in that trance of going, oh my God, they think I'm a maid or they think this, or they think that enough, like, no, just live it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> I will tell you, I, um, I took Zoe to the met in New York and at the time I just purchased the Louis Vuitton bag. And it was my first one, my last one, probably only like that again, but I, I, I treated myself to this bag. And we're walking through the museum. I'm nicely dressed, you know, uh, very simple but classic. I go into the museum store and when I walk into the store, there are two east Indian women standing at the counter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">An older white woman has the same bag that I have and she opens her bag and I watched them, she opens her bag in the store to get some tissue or something out, and they ignore her. They just, you know, she's, she's just getting them out of her bag. I do the same. I put my bag on top of the little counter and I open it up and they immediately swore I was stealing something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She's stealing something. You should've saw these two poor women running around the store. Oh my God, what are we going to do? What are you going to do? She's stealing, she's stealing. She's stealing. Oh my God, she's stealing. And I just watched them. I just stood there and I watched them because, you know, I'm a people watcher.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I just watched them and it pissed me off so bad because they were taught this as well. They were taught this. This is not just them. This is what they'd been taught. I'm artists. They don't know that. I come to the MET at least three, four times a year to see the shows or whatever. I'm a member, you know, And that they think I steal from the MET, just kind of threw me over.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I went to the desk and I put the handbag on the counter. And I said, um, ladies, ladies, cause I had to literally get their attention because they wouldn't even look me in the eye, said, ladies, calm down. I said, do you need to go through my bag? And now everybody's in the store has turned around.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're like what? You need to check my bag. No we don't. No. I said, no, I think you need to check my bag. And I held the bag open for them. The embarrassment was for me gone because this is something that I deal with all the time, all the time. Uh, you know, I, I get it. Listen, you know, we don't want to talk about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Real things happened in the world. There are real black people who steal, but there are real white folks who steal. There are real Asians who steal. There are real Hispanics and Indians who steal when they go to the store. I get it. But the thing is, is that I was so in touch with my own self. Honestly, they were apologizing when I was walking out of the door.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, we're so sorry. Don't apologize now, you know, I wanted to get mad, but I couldn't, I couldn't, because I know that this was taught. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Remember Matt, that same thing happened to us. So Vanessa, we were living in Sausalito, California, and it's like, it's a very cute, adorable little town right across. I was going to say right across the street from San Francisco, you know, it's across the bay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we lived there and, um, usually on Friday nights, when Matt would get off from work, we would as a family with Elle and Allegra and there were very little, we would go out and have date night. And we're vegan and it's so funny before the show, we were telling you about how sugar is not vegan and, you know, so we don't have like normal treats, like most people do, but there was, um, because Sausalito is so touristy there, there was a remember that candy store we went to, you know, the, have the touristy candy shops where it's just barrels and barrels. It's quite beautiful, actually. Right? All the different colors and everything and the textures. And so it was fun for us to just look at stuff like that and maybe find the one vegan thing that would be there that we could buy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, um, the store was owned by a Persian couple. And now my background is Persian and I speak Farsi. And so, but they didn't know that. And again, she, she assumed stuff on me and I'm not necessarily walking with Matt who is totally like tall, you know, almost blonde blue eyes. And then I'm the opposite in all ways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I'm walking around and I'm with the girls and everyone's of course, very like, you know, the girls are very respectful. We're not touching anything, but, um, and it's so weird for me to even explain to you folks that we were not misbehaving. We weren't touching anything. We were not loud. Like all the things like people assume about certain cultures.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so this woman, the owner of the store turned to her husband. And she said, and we were the only ones in there by the way. And she said in Farsi, I want these, I dunno, something equivalent to the N word. I want these people out. Oh wow. To her husband. And I looked at her and it's, it's interesting how your body chemistry can change with some words.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I went from happy-go-lucky with the kids and the girls were out on date night with Matt, you know, daddy's home, we're out and about ; out on the town looking at pretty things to all of a sudden I'm just frozen with rage and I couldn't get home fast enough. And I just wanted to cry like all these emotions at the same time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I don't remember exactly what I told her, but it was in Farsi. And when she heard the Farsi come out of my mouth and tell her. I didn't tell her off in a mean way. I just respectfully said no lady. No, thank you. And I, and I turned to Matt and Farsi and I said, we need to go right now. We need to leave the store right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she, I looked at her face and she was floored. And like you were saying, Vanessa, she was apologizing and trying to hand us candy. And in Farsi, I said, we want nothing from you. I will not accept any, anything from you ma'am. And we left. But to this day I still have rage. Like what the, what is wrong with you people?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> of course I'm completely clueless because this is all happening in Farsi.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But you know, a few Persian words like that is true. You know, the word for HOME NOW!.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. It's unfortunate, but you know, this is what I'm talking about. We have to get to the center of us seriously, even in how we were raised. Like I said, some of us were raised to think certain things that are wrong and it's a part of us. It's the DNA is the part of your record, if you will.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is when we decide to flip the record over to the other side, let's see what's on side B and side B can be filled with some wonderful things. First of all, you get to know who you are. What is it that you like about you? Because sometimes we're looking for people to like us, but we don't even like us, And that's a process that is a process. It is a process of finding out, you know, and only that's the thing just because you have something going on with you or whatever, doesn't make you a bad person. It's just that you have something going on with you. It may take a little while. It may not be no six week situation. It may be two, five, 10 years to work through it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But if you commit to do it for you, because you matter, it's the best gift that you could give yourself. And that didn't happen for me until I think right after I buried my daughter. All bets were off me trying to please other people and make other people feel better. Uh, I, I just lost a baby, was home from the hospital about three days in, and my godfather came to visit and I was still crying very much teary and everything else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he comes in and he is a deacon from our church, you know, so, you know, he's going to come in with scripture and the word and everything else. He comes in, you need to stop crying. And I just kind of looked at him and he goes, that baby is in a better place. And when he said it, it took everything in me to stay down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I jumped up off the couch and I told him, I said, let me explain something to you. And I was very respectful. I said, you are not a woman. You have not laid in labor for hours only to give birth to a dead baby that you can't take home. You can't name; your breasts filled with milk and there's nobody to give it to. How would you know how I feel?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And yes, while I know that baby is probably with the Lord. It still hurts. Like hell. I have to name this baby. I have to plan a funeral for this baby. I have to mourn this baby. And you just like, just get over it. My mom and dad were so embarrassed. They did not support me like they should've. But I had the balls to stand up for my own self to say, I don't need even my mom and dad to stand up for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm going to stand up for me today. And that's what I want your audience to do. When will you stand up for yourself? Because what we do is, we take on this mentality of I'm the victim, I'm the victim, the victim, the victim, we're the victim all the time, victim by choice some of us, because you have the strength. And please hear me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't want to hear what if I opened my mouth something might come up and I might not be able to say... practice what you need to say, practice what you need to say. It might be getting in the mirror in the morning and saying, you know what? I am here for me. I am here for myself. I respect me. I love me. And you might not even believe that when you first started saying it, but I guarantee you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you continue to say it over and over again, it will change your energy . People will respect you. Even if they are hating. They will know that one right, there, not really don't need to say anything to that person because of the energy that comes off of you. That's it. That's the thing. What are you radiating at that you're attracting these types of people. I don't attract these types of people anymore. I don't. It's because I wiped off the magnet. If you will.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I wiped the magnet off that was attracting those things, because I was always saying, oh, they hate me. They don't like me. You know how it is. It's tough for black people. They hate all black people. Do you hate you, Vanessa? No, I don't hate me. Do you think you're a nice person? Absolutely. I'm a nice person. And I talked to myself out of it, so I know y'all are laughing, but it's okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, girl, you can do anything you put your mind to. I certainly can. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Vanessa, we talked to each other's selves in this apartment. Like if you, if you were just looking at us like with a camera, like we were, uh, a reality show, you would laugh so hard because all of us, Matt, I do it. The girls do it. We all talk to ourselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I say, like in the bathroom, me in the bathroom, we're always talking to ourselves, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> you got to, you have to embody choice and find something too. The thing is, some of us love the negative because now, because it feels good. We love being negative because we know the negative. If I expect negativity, it's going to show up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can always count on it. But that positive thing we don't know about that too, because when I say something positive, you know, it feels good for the second, but then somebody is going to come they're going to say, somebody's going to take it away. Focus on the positive. That's the thing, because you're allowing yourself to be taken right back to the negative over and over and over again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so you get that because you expect that. expect something different. I expect that when I walk into this place today that people are going to see me. They're going to not ignore me because I will not be ignored. They will say right things to me. I'm going to have a great day. I step on the side of the bed in the morning and I decree my day. Today is a great day. Today is a really, really good day. I mean, it's an especially really good day today and I'm going to be fine. I'm going to do what I have to do. And I'm going to say what I have to say. And I'm going to keep shining my light. There is not a time when I say it did I go to the store; the man at the meat counter, smiling, just cheesing wait, I was waiting for you. Did you hear that I was thinking about you? Some of them don't even know my name, but they see my face when I go to the market. I know everybody that works in my supermarket because I'm smiling. I walk in, it's like, oh, let me tell you. Don't don't buy those here, buy these over here. And it's because I start off with that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It starts with me. It has nothing to do with them. I don't care if you're a hater, you can tell me you're a Trumper. You don't like black people, you all black people to leave and go back to Africa, all that. But you got to come back to Africa with me too, because you African. Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:30]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, it's like what? I always say. It's like, if you're on a bike and if you're on your mountain bike and you're on the trail and you focus on the ditch, You're going to go in the ditch. If you focus on that straight line, that's going to take you to a really nice sweet spot for a jump or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's where you're going to go. Your reality follows your intention. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> there you go. There you go. Your reality follows your intentions. What you think about you bring about and what you talk about, you walk it out. And so I tell people you're always talking negatively, especially for artists.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you're always around people who want to criticize and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, then it's not art because it's is whatever you need to get far away from those people run, run, run, run, find the people who celebrate and even will tell you the truth that you know what that needs a little bit of work, but, you know, we can work together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's something that's going to help you. Not somebody goes out, it sucks or whatever, and they walk away and just leave. You told me that it's up, but you're not going to give me anything adversity. There it is right there. You get past it by choosing to move past it, choosing to be happy, choosing to smile.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They used to tell me when I was a kid, you shouldn't smile. And I was like, why? They said your gums are black. And so you shouldn't smile. I shouldn't smile. Lord helped me. Now. I'm a grown woman. I'm smiling all over the place. Oh, I don't care about black gums. I don't care about any of that foolishness. But like I said, if you stay around people, I got away from people like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What told me Vanessa your smile is beautiful. When my husband told me, he said, I love to see you smile more than me eating. And my husband loves to eat. He said, but your smile does everything for me. What people compliment me on all the time; god, that smile, you have it. Just lights up a whole room. I'm a person who was told never to smile.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was really about our choices. Who we are, get to the root of who you are and yes, it's going to be scary. Absolutely. Do it afraid. Do it afraid, but do it. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself is to face in and to look at you first, before other people behold you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you find that we need the 90 second rule. How, when you experience trauma or something that is negative, something that is painful. If you allow yourself to feel it for 90 seconds, that it will completely leave your system, biologically you need the 90 full seconds of experiencing that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I was just listening to this person a couple months ago where she was like, she has to offer bad news to families. Like if someone gets into an accident, they've died and she has to go tell the family. She says, it always takes 90 seconds. And then they're like, okay, what do I do now?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Also Vanessa, have you heard of Dr. Mario Martinez? He documented the fact that the group of people who have the highest case of diabetes is not who you think. Out of all the people in the world who have diabetes is the Tibetan monks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's because they don't allow themselves to experience, um, the pain or the, the, the anger. Thank you. I couldn't find the word they, because they skip the anger and go straight to compassion. And you do need to release it. You do need to let go of it. And when you don't, I think that that negative force becomes, uh, a chemical addiction in your body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's why we, we tend to keep harping on the negative. Whereas like with me, like I kept harping on the same scene over and over again. And of course it attracted more foolish people coming at me again until I released it and I'm going to knock on wood. It hasn't happened in awhile, but I'm knocking on wood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> we'll just keep saying the positive thing you are attracting and you are light. That's the beautiful part about you. That's what I love about you and Matt, both of you are light. You are pure light and in that don't dumb down your light to make other people feel comfortable. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know I don't mind telling you all that I'm a woman of faith and I've told you all this before. I believe that when we show love, you know, people yell, oh, you know, whatever you guys are a blended family. I don't like to say mixed, you know, so much as blended blended is, is different. It's something about when you put banana and strawberry together, they become one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can't separate the other, it's all in there together. And when I look at you and Matt and what you represent, you represent this beautiful blending of the world and how it should be. You know, the thing is, is that so many have been taught, oh, you should only marry white, oh, you should marry only this. Oh, you should marry only that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And here we are a family, and that's what matters more than anything else is that we choose to love. Here we are. Let's continue to walk in love and to be loved. And yes, like I said, there are days when you're going to be to hell with everybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't, I don't like you right now. I don't like you right now, but that's just for the moment. And then once I calm down, I'll get back to square one. But, it really is what we say, how we feel the level of what we feel, the frustration you feel with yourself. And I'm going to say to your listeners, having to deal with adversity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everybody has their opinions. It's about you. It's about you taking care of you. This is a time to go inside and check on ourselves, check on what, what we've been taught.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's not serving us if it's not serving you get rid of it. If that thinking is missing and hear me. I know the news media will hate me for saying this, but I don't really give. Sometimes. All we hear is rehearsed horror over and over and over and over. And that's going to you a little bit of news in the morning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe you don't need to get a little bit of the news in the morning, maybeyou need to do your own newscast. Today, I don't care if it's raining, but I got sunny weather in my house. Thank you. Yeah, I'm really, really good. Today, somebody's going to bring me a cup of coffee. I don't know who it is, but you know, someone's gonna bring me a nice cup of coffee, you know, and expect that expect some good things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You may find 20 or $30 in the street. That'd be awesome. I expect the check. If you haven't done anything to get one, but Hey, I'd rather you expected the check to, they expect doom and gloom because I'm telling you as parents, we give it to our children. We tell them what they're not going to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, don't do that. Don't do the other thing. My mother and father, they loved me, but they, like I said, they could not support me in my art, but it was when I got a mind to support myself and my art. I'm going to do this regardless of the people who support or don't support. You don't support, that's fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not a problem at all. And I'm not angry for it. That's the thing we want to hold in the anger and be angry with people because of their choices. It's their choice. You want to control. And you can't control everybody. Now, there's some people, yeah, you're into controlling, I ain't going to controlling. I want people to be able to do what they want and be okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what you want to do. Fine. Is it working for you? Okay. Now I know if you need my help, I'll be over here. It might not be here when you come back, but, you know, Hey, that's your choice, you know? And, and, and let them have that. That's your choice. My choice is to be a woman of diversity and to see diversity and to have friends of all cultures and ethnicities.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't like to say race because we're, we all belong to the human race. Thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's interesting. One of the things I think about is all the labels that are out there, and I can see that it's important because we need to be seen. And a lot of us are, um, all of us, actually, I was going to say, a lot of us are, but all of us are marginalized in some way or not seen enough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's why we're having so many problems with economy, with our entire culture, everything, it all comes down to the fact that nobody's feeling heard or seen. Right. And, um, that's the main issue right there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> It's magazines, it's newspapers, it's real estate it's products.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's all kinds of different things that kind of scream that you don't matter. As a child, not seeing myself in picture books really spoke very, very loudly to me, without anybody saying anything that I was not even worthy to go into a children's book. And I remember the day that I got to seeEzra Jack Keats and you parents who are listening, please go and get this book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, even adults should read this book it's called "The Snowy Day" and it would be the first time that I would ever get to see myself in children's books because in the sixties, 1963, the year that the book came out,Ezra Jack Keats was a Jewish man who lived in the ghetto, he did not live in the fancy neighborhoods that most white Americans at the time, lived in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He changed his name to Ezra Jack Keats, because he did not want to be kind of sought out as, oh, that's a Jewish artist, that type of thing. So he changed his name, but he lived in the hood. His muzes came from the children that lived in his building. He would watch the little kids play in front of his house and they would inspire him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then he went through , a Life Magazine. And he saw a picture of a little boy, a little black boy, and he put it on his wall in his studio. That picture stayed on the wall for 22 years before "The Snowy Day" would come out. When A Snowy Day comes out uh, before it even comes out, uh, Viking press or emailing or not emailing him, then</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">they're writing him. And they're very concerned because the character is black. And so the editor writes, we want to know, you know, it's 1963, you know, the civil rights movement. Are you trying to make a statement? And he said, I'm not, he got so angry. He said, I'm not trying to make a statement. I'm saying Peter should have been there all along.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What little boy or little girl, a child that lives on the east coast doesn't look forward to snow. Now I know there's a small percentage that probably don't like snow, but for the most part, all children love snow and they look forward to it. The book is about this little black boy, who just happen to be black, who just goes outside and he sees the big boys playing , but he's too small to play with them. He takes a stick and he hits the tree and the snow falls down and plop right on top of his head, and when he gets home, before he leaves the snow scene, he packs a big, and I remember doing this as a child, he packs a big snowball and he sticks it in his pocket because he really believes he's that he's that innocent. He believes that in the morning that I, when I wake up that snowball will still be there. His mom takes him in and she washes him and takes off his clothes and make some more warm and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then he goes back and he feels inside of his pocket that the snow is gone, but tomorrow is another day and he gets to go and play out in the snow again. It changed my life. I remember Mrs. Russell reading me this book. She knew that I learned differently from everyone and she picks me up and she puts me on her lap and she opens the book to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm almost 60 years old. The pictures are still freshly indelibly painted on my brain. I can't wash them off. I don't ever remember all the words to the story, but I remember every last picture because my mama had the same gingham yellow house dress that she wore same hair bun every it's the same, same clawfoot bathtub - all of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, the wallpaper that he even used in the collage part was the same wallpaper that we had in our home. So it was like Peter was a friend and I just found my friend and I wouldn't get to see this book until 19 69, 19 70 was when I would first get in to see the book. And it validated me with somebody sees you, you are seen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> You do matter. Somebody saw me and put me in a book. And that is why I love that man. I mean, I've told the story hundreds of times and every time I tell it, I always cry because I appreciate the love that this man had for children. And I so want to be, I call him my mentor. I still want to be like Ezra, Jack Keats, where every child that looks through a book that I do, looks and says, Miss Vanessa saw me. She saw me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">That means everything to see a beautiful purple flower in a field of all yellow and you miss it. You're not doing that. I'm going to walk right over to that purple flower and pick it. You know, it's, it's, it's the same thing for children, adults. We deserve to be seen. We deserve to be heard we're human beings, but it's time for us to care and care for ourselves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So take the initiative and do something special for yourself by saying that you can, you matter, you're going to do this, you can do this. You can do anything you put your mind to do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's about that recognition. And that to me is what I've been working on with this whole friendship movement is that it's about getting to a place where you recognize</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the wallpaper, the shoes, the coat. Recognize that there are all these clues out there and everything is a puzzle that comes together in such a magical way. Like the way I met you, Vanessa was because I met two other podcasters sometime ago and we were taking a class together and we out of like a hundred people recognize each other enough for us to be brave enough to reach out, to say, Hey, here's my email.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can you email me? And then we started emailing each other. Then we started zooming each other in private and there's three of us. We just recognized each other from, I don't know when. It's not from this planet, it is not from it's from all universes. And it was to such a spiritual degree that we decided, okay, the next time, next Friday, when we see each other, we're going to take turns and describe everything that we saw from the time we were born.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I said, from the time before we were born, I want to tell you everything. And so we, we took notes, we took notes and we realized, and by the way, we're all living in different corners of the planet. We've never met in person yet. We're best friends now. And we talked to each other several times a week, but we had that recognition.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when we started taking notes, we realized, oh my God, what? There were all these clues from the time we were born that led us together. And so we call each other, the mystery of us, we're going to have a mystery of us meeting. And so I said, guys, I want to write a children's book about this because it's about weaving in and out of time that we've been together this whole time, that if we just look, we can recognize all these clues and realize, oh my God, that's been there all along.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's been a clue in my life this whole time. And because of these women that I became friends with, they led me to you, Vanessa, because I'm like, I don't know how to write a children's book. So then I took your classes, Vanessa, and everything that I see in you. It's like, it's a total recognition of family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's what true friendship is. It's recognizing each other. It's a homecoming, that's it? It's like one big family reunion. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> That's awesome. And that's what I, that's what I'm talking about. It's, it's big mama standing on the porch and everybody's invited in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Friendship is so important when we can be good friends to ourselves that we can be good friends to each other, and we'll attract, trust me, you will attract those right people. You will attract those people who celebrate each other, celebrate themselves, celebrate you. And that's, what's most important to me. I'm about those who are about life. You know, I used to say, I love that person to death. I don't say that anymore. I love them to life. I love you and Matt to life. I love my students to life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is what I want for us, you know? So I'm careful, even in those words, you know, but the whole year I love you to death. No,Love you to life!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Vanessa. We won't even eat things with certain words on them. That's how, that's how words are so important to us. Like there's a bread out there that we won't eat, even though everyone raves about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But it's about it's this guy's killer bread. Don't say the name it's this guy's killer bread. We're like, we're not going to eat that. Like it's so it's it's to die for. We're like, well, we're not going to eat that either. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No wicked ales </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> either. I know Matt loves beer. And so there's a wicked ale </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> so much like really like heavy, hectic words attached to beer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It has, everything has a vibration, like Vanessa says. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Everything has a vibration, everything. That's all, like I said, whether people want it accepted or not, it accepts you you're saying it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry I interrupted. But I was going to say, and you see them like you, Vanessa, when you see words, you see color.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. I certainly do. And that's part of like, it's so funny because I decided to like, have the show be about perceiving together. It's about perceiving yourself. But if you have that perception of what the truth is that it will be like a snowball effect. It will build, and we can perceive together the right thing, the beautiful thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But perceiving together is actually the Greek definition of synesthesia, which is what you have. Can you explain that? So how do you see like, what is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> I'm very sensitive to certain, to certain things. Certain smells certain sounds yellow is my power color, but yellow is the color that, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hold on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my God. Allegra's favorite book when she was a baby was yellow is my color star. She was always gravitating towards yellow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> I'm sorry. Yeah, it is my power color. It is the, uh, the color that gives me energy and life. I love, I love it. Pink is another color, but peak, you know, has a sound to it. And it sounds like bells.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, blue is the feeling and the sound of harmony. When I hear blue, especially when I hear singers sing. Um, that's what I'm looking for. If I can see the blue note, that's that that's different from me, you know? Um, uh, other things like army green army green is a color that does not work for me. it makes me feel some kind of way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't particularly care for, um, won't even wear it. Won't where it, it looks good on everybody else but just does not feel good and does not look good on me. black is a color that gives me life as well. If not this hole or negative anything, it's very, very powerful to me, but it's also the color that I see when people curse at each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hmm. Interesting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Synesthesia is again, the ability to see, smell, feel, taste, and hear color, but also to taste words. And so words don't need to be black when they come out of my mouth, they need to be filled with light. So yellow is what I see. Like if I'm going to draw a picture, I would show a yellow light coming out of my mouth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Or rainbow of colors, because I want you to feel a little bit of everything. Now, not every color or every, um, uh, every Color doesn't have a sound for me. Sometimes it's a texture that it will take on, you know? So, it's very strange. It's been disruptive. It's gotten me in trouble as a child, my mother and I were being, um, they thought I was being rebellious when I would eat certain things and it had nothing to do with, oh, that's a vegetable.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't want to eat it. It was the texture. It was the color basically. So, it's had its wonderful times, you know, and me creating, I love creating with synesthesia. I want to put every color I can find on a page, but just the same, there are certain colors. Nope, certain words and I'm, I'm a shut down type person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You start saying stupid stuff. I don't, I, I just get quiet. And when I say stupid stuff, I'm talking about, oh, uh, uh, are all white people crazy, and I'm not gonna say, oh, black people steal. You know, they're horrible. People now might say something to that because I'm black. No, my best friend of 12 years is a country white boy from Texas.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He loves the ground I walk on and I love the ground he walks on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Nice. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We don't even refer to each other as friends, we're brothers and sisters. And it shocks people when we go out and they go, even if think we're husband or wife, when I go that's my brother.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">yeah, the cowboy move here then. That's your, that's your brother. Yeah, that's my brother.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's the most nice, nice response </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">yes </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">has, you know, some people don't know what to do with it. Did I? Oh, okay. Um, you know, I don't care. That's that's family to me. Right? Our family, our friends. Sobina and her or her husband who were from India, they they'd come and they stayed with us. And my mother took Sabina in like she was her daughter. Now, my mother knew nothing about how hiijabs covered or anything like that, but she made sure that she had every piece of material that she needed. This is what I'm talking about. Friends who get you, they love you. They're there to care for you. Protect you. Celebrate. And you them, that's the biggest, it's about you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You, you, you, you, but in return you give them the same kind of love and celebration. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you guys talk, I want to go find that piece of paper and we're going to wrap this up. I'll be right back while we're still rolling. I'll be right back. Hold on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. Uh, and so it's interesting synesthesia on some level is combining almost different emotions or different, sensations together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I find it interesting that there are some times, like when I'm listening to particular pieces of music, like the hairs on the back of my neck, stand up in that good way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Right. I love it. Oh my God. You are, you are so in my wheelhouse right now, Matt, because that is everything to me is chords! Chords are everything to me, they are like, I tell people all the time, especially for artists who don't like to have music, playing whatever. And I'm like, you don't understand music can be that other paint on your pallet, the invisible paint, there you go. And make people feel. And so I'm a person, of course, I love listening to certain types of music that have different chords to them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, to tell you that, that doesn't help me to paint the most vibrant pictures is to have on some Sarah Kang or a Moonchild or, Dizzy Gillespie, or, you know, um, uh, Nina Simone, those things are just the paint. That's the other paint that makes me feel! When Nina Simone is singing birds fly in the high, you know, how I feel</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you know, when, when she's given me that I can feel it in my chest and it just makes me want to paint even brighter blues because of it. You know? So music is just, like I said, that other, you know, I don't care if you're a poet. I don't care if you're a writer, a cook, try, try it to some music or watch what happens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And my kids, honestly, they, it drives them crazy because every time we're like watching a sporting event or whatever, and they're singing Star-Spangled banner, if they don't hit that, gosh, darn note at the end, I am </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> upset </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">me too. I'm the same way. Like give it, give it, give it to us. I want, you know, I,Whitney Houston mess us up, but I'm just saying it is the same thing Matt, for, uh, for me, it is the hitting that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:06:57]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they do, but it's crazy because they have to start the song like, oh say, you have to start it so low to be able to hit that note and keep it all together. And it bugs me that more artists don't go for it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> No, they don't. They, they don't, but it's, you know, it's, it's a different time to a different time now where mediocrity is fine and mediocrity kind of lives right at the bottom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But when you decide to go to the top of the air as much thinner, and so, yeah, everybody's not able to do it, but, I hear you. I, it, nobody, my tai chi master, in the morning sometimes he'll have me sing because he says the vibration is so good. He said, I just love how I feel. He's I can feel it in my stomach when you sing, um, he would ask me to sing the star Spangled banner.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Dang. And when I would get to the land of the free,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you know, he would, he would be like</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but he loved it. He loved it. He said, it's something about you hitting that note and taking us to the next level. He said, I can feel I can do my Tai Chi now that that's. That was awesome. That was awesome. I never expected that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you guys a long time. Did I already talk about this with, I was listening to, I think it was NPR years ago and they were, they were documenting the levels of, frequency, the energetic frequency.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know what you call it, but they were, using. The Beatles as opposed to the Rolling Stones and they, they did the vibration and they said that the Beatles had the highest level of love Vibration. Whereas the rolling stones had the lowest. Yeah. Um, it's really interesting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Isn't that amazing? I mean, um, frequency is real.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, that's my old cat. I have, I have a new baby cat two and they're both trying to take over my desk, but, um, yeah, you know, the Beatles were, you know, I want to hold your hand, you know, uh, songs that were about love, you know, um, you know, rock in other ways can, can do that. It would be nice for your audience to kind of do a test, play some different needs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And see how you feel, see how, you know, what's the energy on it. Does it, does it make you feel good? Does it make you feel or, you know, wanting or, you know, try, try it all. See see what's out there out there. I love positive music. So I played, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yeah. I have a hard time listening to everything I listened to. I like to believe is positive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Yeah. And that takes me to my central thought on the whole show, which is, you know, always ask yourself with everything and I'm stealing from Vanessa now. Is it working for you? Yeah, the answer is yes. Keep doing, if the answer is no </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Change it. Change it. Transformation, transformation is something so different than change.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Transformation says I can never go back to that. Once you find out what it is that you're going for, go for it. Don't let anybody stop you. You don't need anybody's permission to move forward in life, to do what you need to do for yourself. You give yourself permission. Thank </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you. We need to hear that on replay right there, over and over again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Is it working </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> for, you know what, just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:10:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so you guys are, I ran away. I came back. I have it. Should I read it? Yes. It's not different from what we were talking about, but it goes back to friendship and, and before we go, I want to say, thank you. Thank you so much, Vanessa. Once again for gracing us, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> for having me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Vanessa's information is right there in the show notes, guys, all the links reach out. Um, okay, so here's what this, uh, six year old said the question was, what is love? I saw this on the internet somewhere. Her name is Emma K., and she wrote this a few years ago, but back then she was age six.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The question is what is love? And she says this, she says love is when you're missing some of your teeth, but you're not afraid to smile because you know, your friends will still love you, even though some of you is missing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:11:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> oh, now, now that one needs to go on a t-shirt that needs to be a big poster that we can, we can put in our offices and, and, and to look at and remind us because uh, friends should be able to see friends fall apart, have a really bad meltdown.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And still love you enough to say, okay, your dress is in your panties. We're gonna pull your dress out of your panties now and put your wig on straight. Okay. You good? All right. Let's get to. You know, that's the kind of friends I'm looking for. I'm looking for friends. I can see me at my very worst, but people that deserve your vulnerability, everybody does not deserve your vulnerability.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so you really need to be at least keen on yourself that you can feel who's for you. And who's pulling for you. And who's not maybe so much either. Maybe no, you don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:12:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> share. You need to know what kind of friend they are. We, we base our whole friendship movement on Aristotle and the Nicomachean ethics.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'll just blurt them, blurt them out really quick. Before we go, we've talked. We talk about this all the time on our show, but there are three kinds of friends. One is your friend because of how they feel when they're around you. Uh, the number two friend is they're friends with you because of what they get from you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're getting something from you. But the third friend, this is what Emma describes is the third kind of friendship is people that are friends with you because they just love you wholly as a whole everything, the missing part, everything. Yep. And so that's what we strive for is number three, that's it. And, uh, Vanessa love you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Love you more have loved you in and out of time. Everything about you. You are a beautiful. Beautiful. Everything. A beautiful artist, a beautiful friend, a beautiful speaker. So inspiring you make the world </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> so much better. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Well, we have to wrap it up because I know Vanessa, but I had to leave like a while ago.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> kept her on, well, you know what? I will, I will be up at 12 midnight tonight drawing. So I'm so sorry to finish, but it was such a joy being with you and Matt, Matt, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Matt.Happy birthday to you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Thank you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. All right. We'll see you in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:14:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> a few days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391/fca2b6ea-4235-46dd-b1f0-60949ca52654/Overcoming-Adversity-with-our-friend-Vanessa-Brantley-Newton.mp3" length="73019696"
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[With our friend and author/illustrator/singer/all-around artist extraordinaire, Vanessa Brantley-Newton, we discuss Perceiving together (also the meaning of Synesthesia), and overcoming adversity is the topic. We discuss thriving in life and building a toolbox for overcoming anything in life. We get into the concept of HOW WE ARE SEEN vs SHOWING PEOPLE WHO WE ARE. And of course, we get into the etymology of today's topic: OVERCOME.
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
To reach Vanessa or learn more about her work:
https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/
https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/
 
Transcript:Perceiving Together and Overcoming Adversity with Our Friend Vanessa Brantley-Newton
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello everyone. Welcome. Hello? Hello. Hi. We are here today with our beautiful friend, Vanessa Brantley Newton. She's here with us.Hi Vanessa. Thank you for coming 
back. 
[00:00:16] Vanessa: Thank you for having me back Excited to be here with you. All 
[00:00:20] Fawn: today's 
topic is perceiving together and overcoming adversity, and there's so much to say there's so many ways we can go with this.
I just wanted to talk about my tantrum that I had a few days ago. So Vanessa, I either have major tantrums by myself in the bathroom or the greatest epiphany's in the bathroom. I don't know what it is. It's my conference room. It's my place of worship in a way, like I just get messages in the bathroom or I send messages And a few days ago, I was so, um, I don't even know the word for it. I was just having a tantrum. I was so frustrated. And afterwards I was so embarrassed. Cause I was, I was yelling all kinds of profanity to myself and I come out of the shower and you all were quiet.
You and the girls. Yeah. And then I felt worse. I felt like, oh my God, I am the worst human being. I'm the worst mother. I'm just the worst. And then, so I excused myself from dinner and I said, you guys just have dinner by yourselves I'm not, not eating. And I went in the corner, sitting at my computer in the corner, at my desk . I texted Holly and I just said, help, period. And then I kind of told her what happened in the bathroom. And then I feel like a terrible person and a terrible mom for having the kids hear me have a tantrum to my all by myself. I wasn't talking to anyone. She pointed out that when you don't realize how thin thinly or stretched out, what's the word, I forgot the words you're stretched thin to the point where you don't even realize it, when you have tantrums like that it's for you to realize that you need to take care of yourself.
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Vanessa.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:16:03</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Creating a Loving and Beautiful World with Vanessa Brantley-Newton]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Dec 2021 02:34:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-creating-a-loving-and-beautiful-world-with-vanessa-brantley-newton</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-creating-a-loving-and-beautiful-world-with-vanessa-brantley-newton</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>the art of friendship; we've talked about the different kinds of friends, the art of friendship, people along the way who changed the direction of our path, our understanding of life, the trajectory of our heart. It happens in different ways. It could be good or bad. I'm really mostly talking about the good. We've talked about this on other episodes. For example, one of my favorite episodes that we did was the one on "The Weird Friend". remember Matt. That's where through the etymology and from our own personal experience, we understood the original and true meaning of the word weird, which meant, or means fate chance, fortune destiny, like totally magical.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are so many different kinds of friends. Some friends are people who meet us on the path for a few seconds. I think all meetings, the chance ones, the split-second ones, the long relationship ones, the quick glance ones are all pre-planned meetings. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Have you ever had a friend or been in the presence of a person who weaves magic all around?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Have you ever had that friend with mountain-moving words; with such elegance and style, with great command, with powerful ways of seeing, with the kind of insight that seems to wave a magic wand, and you feel immediately transformed, gifted, alive, and fully embodied by love. Have you ever had that enlightened friend, the great friend, the friend who makes you cry with joy and inspiration and hope, maybe it's been eons since you felt this way or met this kind of friend?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe you've been hurt by foolish people, foolish people, and it hurt you so bad that you told yourself. I will never let myself be exposed to that kind of hurt ever again. So you told yourself that such a friend, such a great friend doesn't even exist. So you close yourself off and you just live a certain way; not even looking for that. Maybe you haven't met this kind of great friend yet. Well, now you will or will again. Matt and I have the best friend to introduce you to (Vanessa Brantley-Newton).</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/">https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/">https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/</a></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. Hi everybody. Have you? Ah, how do I, okay, so we've talked about this a lot, the art of friendship; we've talked about the different kinds of friends, the art of friendship, people along the way who changed the direction of our path, our understanding of life, the trajectory of our heart. It happens in different ways. It could be good or bad. I'm really mostly talking about the good. We've talked about this on other episodes. For example, one of my favorite episodes that we did was the one on "The Weird Friend". remember Matt. That's where through the etymology and from our own personal experience, we understood the original and true meaning of the word weird, which meant, or means fate chance, fortune destiny, like totally magical.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[the art of friendship; we've talked about the different kinds of friends, the art of friendship, people along the way who changed the direction of our path, our understanding of life, the trajectory of our heart. It happens in different ways. It could be good or bad. I'm really mostly talking about the good. We've talked about this on other episodes. For example, one of my favorite episodes that we did was the one on "The Weird Friend". remember Matt. That's where through the etymology and from our own personal experience, we understood the original and true meaning of the word weird, which meant, or means fate chance, fortune destiny, like totally magical.
There are so many different kinds of friends. Some friends are people who meet us on the path for a few seconds. I think all meetings, the chance ones, the split-second ones, the long relationship ones, the quick glance ones are all pre-planned meetings. 
Have you ever had a friend or been in the presence of a person who weaves magic all around?
Have you ever had that friend with mountain-moving words; with such elegance and style, with great command, with powerful ways of seeing, with the kind of insight that seems to wave a magic wand, and you feel immediately transformed, gifted, alive, and fully embodied by love. Have you ever had that enlightened friend, the great friend, the friend who makes you cry with joy and inspiration and hope, maybe it's been eons since you felt this way or met this kind of friend?
Maybe you've been hurt by foolish people, foolish people, and it hurt you so bad that you told yourself. I will never let myself be exposed to that kind of hurt ever again. So you told yourself that such a friend, such a great friend doesn't even exist. So you close yourself off and you just live a certain way; not even looking for that. Maybe you haven't met this kind of great friend yet. Well, now you will or will again. Matt and I have the best friend to introduce you to (Vanessa Brantley-Newton).
https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/
https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hi, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. Hi everybody. Have you? Ah, how do I, okay, so we've talked about this a lot, the art of friendship; we've talked about the different kinds of friends, the art of friendship, people along the way who changed the direction of our path, our understanding of life, the trajectory of our heart. It happens in different ways. It could be good or bad. I'm really mostly talking about the good. We've talked about this on other episodes. For example, one of my favorite episodes that we did was the one on "The Weird Friend". remember Matt. That's where through the etymology and from our own personal experience, we understood the original and true meaning of the word weird, which meant, or means fate chance, fortune destiny, like totally magical.
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Creating a Loving and Beautiful World with Vanessa Brantley-Newton]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>the art of friendship; we've talked about the different kinds of friends, the art of friendship, people along the way who changed the direction of our path, our understanding of life, the trajectory of our heart. It happens in different ways. It could be good or bad. I'm really mostly talking about the good. We've talked about this on other episodes. For example, one of my favorite episodes that we did was the one on "The Weird Friend". remember Matt. That's where through the etymology and from our own personal experience, we understood the original and true meaning of the word weird, which meant, or means fate chance, fortune destiny, like totally magical.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are so many different kinds of friends. Some friends are people who meet us on the path for a few seconds. I think all meetings, the chance ones, the split-second ones, the long relationship ones, the quick glance ones are all pre-planned meetings. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Have you ever had a friend or been in the presence of a person who weaves magic all around?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Have you ever had that friend with mountain-moving words; with such elegance and style, with great command, with powerful ways of seeing, with the kind of insight that seems to wave a magic wand, and you feel immediately transformed, gifted, alive, and fully embodied by love. Have you ever had that enlightened friend, the great friend, the friend who makes you cry with joy and inspiration and hope, maybe it's been eons since you felt this way or met this kind of friend?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe you've been hurt by foolish people, foolish people, and it hurt you so bad that you told yourself. I will never let myself be exposed to that kind of hurt ever again. So you told yourself that such a friend, such a great friend doesn't even exist. So you close yourself off and you just live a certain way; not even looking for that. Maybe you haven't met this kind of great friend yet. Well, now you will or will again. Matt and I have the best friend to introduce you to (Vanessa Brantley-Newton).</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/">https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/</a></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/">https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/</a></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. Hi everybody. Have you? Ah, how do I, okay, so we've talked about this a lot, the art of friendship; we've talked about the different kinds of friends, the art of friendship, people along the way who changed the direction of our path, our understanding of life, the trajectory of our heart. It happens in different ways. It could be good or bad. I'm really mostly talking about the good. We've talked about this on other episodes. For example, one of my favorite episodes that we did was the one on "The Weird Friend". remember Matt. That's where through the etymology and from our own personal experience, we understood the original and true meaning of the word weird, which meant, or means fate chance, fortune destiny, like totally magical.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There are so many different kinds of friends. Some friends are people who meet us on the path for a few seconds. I think all meetings, the chance ones, the split-second ones, the long relationship ones, the quick glance ones are all pre-planned meetings. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Have you ever had a friend or been in the presence of a person who weaves magic all around?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Have you ever had that friend with mountain-moving words; with such elegance and style, with great command, with powerful ways of seeing, with the kind of insight that seems to wave a magic wand, and you feel immediately transformed, gifted, alive, and fully embodied by love. Have you ever had that enlightened friend, the great friend, the friend who makes you cry with joy and inspiration and hope, maybe it's been eons since you felt this way or met this kind of friend?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe you've been hurt by foolish people, foolish people, and it hurt you so bad that you told yourself. I will never let myself be exposed to that kind of hurt ever again. So you told yourself that such a friend, such a great friend doesn't even exist. So you close yourself off and you just live a certain way; not even looking for that. Maybe you haven't met this kind of great friend yet. Well, now you will or will again. Matt and I have the best friend to introduce you to. Everyone, I would like you to meet Vanessa Brantley-Newton. You probably already know of her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">She is an author storyteller, illustrator, speaker doll maker, creative, all-around person, a bringer of joy, a bringer of light. Last you counted. How many, when did you stop counting? She has like 80 books out there. Did you stop at 80? How many did you count? I stopped at 80. Yes, you guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She's a phenomenal person. She is just, I mean, Matt, I thought I knew so much about her because I've actually had the opportunity to study with Vanessa and I thought I knew everything. And then you told me stuff, you know, about her. I'm like, wow. How did you know that? There's honestly, she is so multifaceted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She is the kind of friend that is just inspiring. Just a little bit about her. Did you know she was dyslexic? Yes, I did. Did you know? I didn't know this word. I, and I realized actually I knew of it, but I didn't know the word really, but like the girls love Billie Eilish. And I think Billy Eilish is also this way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's something called synesthesia, which </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sounds sinister, doesn't it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But they hear music that they hear music and they see shapes, or you hear a word or a name and you instantly see a color or you can taste it. Oh my God. I think I have that one. I have that one, I taste things. And I thought just, I thought this, I started to notice this a long time ago and I thought something was wrong with me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:16]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> Like for example, some people can see the can like read the word dog and smell </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">chocolate. Oh, the irony </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> rare appearance by our, uh, youngest</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that was a totally rare, it's like a rare, that was like a deer showing up out of the blue. That was. Uh, miracle everybody. That was Alegra. Yeah. So there's that. And then it's through like, it's it's experiences, you experienced senses through another way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like it translates to, like, I think to perceive together is what it means, the actual word. Anyway, uh, Vanessa is an amazing artist and I'm sorry, she's right here. And I keep interrupting because I keep wanting to tell you more about her,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but she she's the most amazing and patient. Okay. Okay. Well, you know what, let me just, let me just go, Vanessa. Hello. Thank you for coming everyone. Please meet Vanessa Brantley-Newton. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Hello. Good morning. Good morning to you. All is such a joy to be here with all of you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you for being. I was also going to tell them that you were a flibatonist and that's the one who draws blood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you did that with babies and you, your history is just fascinating. And the way you tell stories and you haven't mentioned </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> her </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> photogenic memory. Oh my God. She has a photographic memory. I keep saying photogenic. Cause I just, you know, she has a photographic memory. The first time I ever heard Vanessa say anything, like I, I popped into a zoom and I was taking a class, she said, I see you. And I'll all of a sudden I perked up. I'm like, oh my God. We say that all the time. Right. And I say like the first time I ever heard that I started crying. Because someone saw me because in our society, I get ignored all the time. And if I don't get ignored, they think I'm somebody's maid that I'm there to clean their house or something ridiculous.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, like I'm just there to pick up their garbage. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's all they see me as, and all the other times I get totally ignored. So when someone says, I see you and they have a smile upon their face, I'm like, I just want to cry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> That is awesome. That is awesome because there is so much power in seeing, you know, we take for granted, the fact that we do have eyes to see, because there's so many who, uh, may be not blind physically, but still blind, you know, and not able to see when you can't see people or you just see them the way that you want to see them and not as they are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, it's, it's, it's very sad. It's very, very sad. I have been a watcher since I was a little girl and watching people, watching my parents, watching, my grandparents, watching my cousins, watching my mom and dad's friends. And so I was introduced to diversity at a very, very, very early age. Uh, my father's boss was a Jewish man.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Mr. Feinberg was very good friends with my dad. He worked at a meat packing house in Newark, New Jersey on A Street. And I remember my dad taking me down to the meat packing factory as a little girl. And the things that I saw when I went down there, uh, I would see them putting the cows on this little rotary thing that, uh, they would have, uh, the, uh, Jewish man standing over to the side.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he would make sure that the meat was kosher by blessing it and everything. It was amazing. And to have those memories and remember to see those things and to see Mr Feinberg and my father hug each other. And, uh, later Mr. Feinberg introducing us to his whole family. And then my mother who worked as a midwife, and as a nurse, would go to the hospital and her friends were mostly Filipino and they would look at my mom because my mom's father was actually Japanese and Cambodia and African-American.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they would look at her and she would go, oh my God, they th they recognize that, but they would come to our house and they would spend time with us. And then the students that would come from Africa, they would come and they would stay at my mom and dad's house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And yes, if you were a gay child, while my mom and dad were Pentecostal ministers and preachers, they would take in your gay child and they would love your gay child because they believe that children- let them live, let them express themselves, let them find out. Don't just cast them away. They're your child. Love them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it was about loving people. And that's where I got that from. And it was also, you know, to see. So if a Mexican family moved into the neighborhood and they were the only Mexican family, you better believe my mom and dad were going to have them over next week at the house. And everybody in the neighborhood is looking like why they're having these people over?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">oh, if it was the Indian family, whole Muslim family came into the neighborhood in a predominantly white neighborhood where there were no Muslims, no people of color in the neighborhood. And here, my mom and dad bringing in these Muslim families, families and Jewish families . They're all in the same house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't, you know, the Jewish people and Muslims, they don't, they're supposedly not get along. But when you were in my mom and dad's house, she got along, it was, it was the first time that I ever saw diversity and love in action. And it was very powerful. It, I would never really understand how it would cover my life in that I had children coming home from school with me, that was from every nationality. Every, every culture, every religion coming into my house and my parents embracing them and loving them. It was, it was powerful. It's where the best gift my mom and dad ever gave to me. But, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know, what's a tragedy for me and bro, a lot of people that I see out there, but like one of the tragedies I had when I was a, I'm sorry, that's very like exaggerated, but not really because it involves my heart and it, it did feel like a tragedy, but growing up, I felt like it was a mix.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was, it was an up and down Seesaw thing either I was completely ignored or if I wasn't ignored, there would be all this hate that would come at me. So either I was trying to hide or I was desperately seeking to be seen. Yeah, with a beauty, that was my culture. Growing up at a time where the media said, this culture is the axis of evil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now those exact words weren't used, but it was in the news. You know, like the hostage situation in Iran was happening. And if there were any middle Easterners, you're just beaten up at school. Right. And so even at home, so we lived in this high rise. My mother was a great cook . She would cook every meal, like how I cook every meal here in our home, but like we would use all kinds of herbs and spices, everything that's from our culture. And there was, there would be this hateful neighbor who would come banging on the door, or if she wasn't banging on the door, I would see her in the hallway mind, you I'm like five, six years old.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she would come with such hate and like her nose all scrunched up, which I've seen so many times through my life, not just from smelling, they just look at me and they are, their nose gets all scrunched up. Like they're smelling something foul, you know, and I'm smelling racism on them. And so, she would remark on the scents that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">she would smell in the hallway. And it was the scent of like the herbs and spices being boiled into a stew, you know, the scent of rice it's, it's our culture. And it's quite beautiful. And later as I got older, I'm like, I had compassion for her, even though she came at us with so much hate telling us to stop cooking, how dare you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't want him to be exposed to that. And yet she had the audacity to come over and ask for sugar and we were like sugar. Like, we didn't really have sugar in our house, like what???? A smile on our face, but I felt like I never, so like there's back and forth. It was so confusing to me. Have I digressed?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm sorry if we talk about, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but at least doesn't actually have much of a scent to it. So maybe that was okay in her world. And I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> don't think, but</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> here's the thing though. As I got older and this was kind of recently, I started to have compassion for her because I realized, oh my God, she was alone. She lived by herself. She had a daughter, I think, but never saw the daughter. I think she was lonely. And remember how we talk about martial arts? And we say, when someone is striking you, or if there's violence, when there's physical violence at the very, very base root of that, Comes the need, the desperate need to connect to have human contact, which </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sounds just so wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But there it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But I, and I just realized this person who didn't like our diversity was actually maybe seeking it out, but right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, this was the only way she could communicate with you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> guys. Maybe. Yeah, exactly. Through a punch. It was a verbal punch right. Constantly. But how, am I as a, five-year-old supposed to figure that out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">My parents couldn't even </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> figure it out. She wrote in her diary at the end of the day, had a lovely conversation with</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> I love it. I love his sense of humor because you know why you were sharing that. Uh, what came to mind is, , a story of, when we had first moved into this neighborhood in Irvington, New Jersey, this is the neighborhood that Jerry Lewis lived in. Is, you know, um, uh, predominantly Jewish white, uh, German Americans, and we moved next door.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We were the second black family to move into this neighborhood. And we lived between, a practicing witch and, the women that lived on the other side of her was a woman from Germany. She was Mary Mary was the practicing, witch I, when I say practicing, witch I mean, casting, spells all that good stuff. That was, that was her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then there was the lady that lived next door. And I remember my sister and I not knowing which backyard belonged to us. And we went out the front door and we went over into the next door neighbor's backyard. And she had these wonderful tulips that had been brought from, I think, Holland. And the yard was immaculate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was gorgeous. And I was so excited. I wondered into the backyard and I was like, this is our beautiful backyard. You know, it's just like what we see on TV with Barbie Barbie lives in this kind of backyard. We just carried on. She came outside and she came outside and she started yelling at us in German.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the one word that we understood, she said, you niggers get out of my yard . And I was like, "Who she talking to?"</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because I'm not, you know, the N word, I'm not that. But she was so upset and she came outside with a broom and she was going to chase after my sister and I, and my mom came out and my mom always had a way with everybody that she spoke to. EVERYBODY. I don't care who it was. She always had a way with people. And my mother comes out and she gathers me and my sister into the house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're crying at this time and everything. And, you know, and, and mom was telling us, listen, calm down. Uh, your backyard is over here. We should have told you all that your backyard is here. I'm going to go over next door. That was almost 50 years ago, 50 years ago. I remember my mother walking up to that woman's door.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know to this day Fawn and Matt, what my mother said to that woman, but that woman and my mother became the best of friend. It was the weirdest thing I ever seen in my whole entire life. That woman, when, when, when she died and her husband died, my mother was at the funerals of both. When they were sick and could not care for themselves, my mother would cook and bring them food.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was the strangest thing that I'd ever seen in my whole entire life. I'd never seen anything like that. As far as my mother going over and speaking to somebody and the whole energy changed, I don't know what she said to this day. I still don't know what she said to this day, but that woman was so kind to me and my sister after many years, literally cried when we moved away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when she died, like I said, my mom called, Hey, uh, she died. You guys need to come and you need to, , at least come over and talk to her husband and just, give them your condolences or whatever. I never remember their names, but that was so powerful. It was like, she took the fire out of the word and the hatred that was, and it was much, like you said, Somebody that really just wanted to be heard or loved or accepted and, um, uh, to extend that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And yes, I know it's scary. I know it's scary. We live in a, a pretty scary world because we don't know how it's going to be received. We don't, you know, and, , yes, in this very, very, , unfortunate situation of us being the second black family in the neighborhood, we had people that did not want us in the neighborhood and they made it very, very clear</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">that they did not want us in the neighborhood. And we all became friends. I don't know how my mom and dad did it, but I know it was out of kindness. I know it was them giving themselves and not feeling like I have to. I have to give. My mother just had this very vivacious personally. And she was not the person who wanted to argue with, she was not the person who wanted to argue with. Shirley Brantley was going to come after you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you said it, she was going to come, she would calm her patients down. I would go to the hospital with her and watch her talk to the patients. And sometimes the patients, yes, they would call her out of her name. You black, blanket blank blank blank. You're not going to touch me. And she would explain to them when the doctor comes in here and tries to get blood from you or the doctor comes in here and tries to do whatever you will call from me and exactly what she said they would call what does that black lady?Can you get her to come back in here?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because I don't want him to do it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She just had a way with people, you know, especially the outcasts, if you were the one that everybody picked on my mother gravitated to you. And she would, she would take you under her wing and she would love you. And she would tell you how fantastic and awesome you are. And, and if anything, it was to build your self esteem, even though self-esteem, wasn't a big thing back then, you know, if they didn't like you, they just didn't like you and live with it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not everybody lived with it. Some people hurt themselves. Some people hurt other people. And my mother was very, very keen on sensing that about somebody and helping them. It was amazing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's one thing , you described your mother telling you when you were a child. Once I heard that, I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to pass that along to Elle and Allegra and it's perfect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's perfect. It. I, Vanessa Sonita to hear that when I heard it coming from you. Because I have so many friends, we'll quote, unquote friends, some friends that just want to hold you down. Right. And I'm, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I like to do things properly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like to, no matter if it's communicating with a friend or in cooking or the way I homeschool our kids, it has to be done with perfection. I clean the house all the time. It needs to be beautiful. It doesn't mean everything is laid out all Zen, but it's beautiful. It's clean. It is loving. And so I've had people say, like, try to scold me and say, you're destroying your life and your kids' life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause you're such a perfectionist. But then I heard what you said, your mom would tell you the poem that goes something like good, better, best, never let it rest until the good is better. and the better gets best, but you say a better, um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Nope. Nope. That's exactly what she said. Good. Better, best, never let it rest till the good is better and the better gets best.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we lived by that. I mean, my mother was a perfectionist as well. It was a cleaning house and making sure that we looked a certain way. I think I shared with you in class, how people would call me and my sister, the board of health, when they would see there goes to the board of health. He got, my mother was very adamant about how we looked, especially as African American children.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She never wanted us to be judged as all they're ghetto because they don't have or whatever. And it wasn't a, she and my father went out and bought expensive clothes. They would go to the used, um, store or, uh, the salvation army or whatever. And my mother would find these shoes that people just threw out, that could be used and she would Polish them and, and, and, uh, we used to have what they call bro Gans. And bro Gans were those little white shoes that people would bronze and put on a little piece of wood, you know, whatever my mom would take those shoes and she would take baby powder and liquid white shoe Polish, and she would put the shoe Polish on and then she'd sprinkle the baby powder on the top of them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then she'd take a rag and she buffed them until they look brand spanking new. And she would do this for my sister and I, I mean our hair and everything was impeccable to the point where I remember going to school being the only black child in the classroom teacher walks up to me and asks me, what's your name?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I said, my name is Vanessa. And she said, that name is too big for you. I'm looking at the teacher, like, what does that mean? The name is too big for me. What does that mean? I don't have a clue. And then she writes this note to my mother. Take the bows out of her hair. She doesn't need to wear these bright colors. And regular old shoes will do fine for her. And my mother was not happy. She was not happy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Any parent would have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My parents would have it. They wouldn't care. My parents did not care. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> It was, you know, my mom was young at the time. It was 1968. Uh, Martin Luther king had just been murdered and she and my father had been marching and singing and, they were both musicians and singers and they were tired.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They were, they were tired. So when this teacher came at me with that, I mean, she came back with fire to let her know, my kid is going to come to school and she's going to look impeccable , that is that, is it the thing that set me apart was that I looked different from everybody else. I was the only black child in the classroom, but you're not going to point out and say that she's inappropriately dressed or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And back then, it was very, very important for civil rights marchers, whether they were young or older to always dress appropriate, because you wanted the respect. You wanted people to look at you and to say, Hmm, there's go somebody with respect. There's somebody that cares about themselves. And don't, we still judge people by the way, I'm just being truthful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's the one thing that you and her are going to learn about Vanessa, Vanessa ain't gonna pull no punches. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm gonna tell you the truth. Okay. People still judge you by the way you look.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Sadly. Yes. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> mean, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> When I take the kids to the pediatrician, because we tend to somehow always live in some place where we're so isolated and we're surrounded by white Anglo-Saxons.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so when I have the kids take the kids to the pediatrician or to the dentist, I have to go totally dressed up because I get ignored. They don't see me and I don't want them mistreating Ellen Alegra and I have Ellen Alegra always go in with a gift to give to the nurse or the doctor because I'm scared they're going to be so racist that they're not going to see us, that that will break down that wall because there's this beautiful little girl handing them, a flower made out of clay that they colored, you know, to break down that barrier and pray to God that that actually gets through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But yeah, I totally know what you're saying. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Absolutely. And you know, what I really want to encourage you with is there's an energy that we put out. There's an energy that we live under. I told you that I, while being a Christian and I don't mind telling people that I'm a woman of faith, I am a woman of faith, but I'm also a woman of science.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the thing is, is that we live at a frequency. We live at a frequency and sometime that frequency is very, very low, very low. And so we attract what we feel about what we think about what we talk about. We attract more of that. And then that's where cancer and sickness, sadness, all that stuff right around 42 megahertz, that's where it kind of lives at.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right, right, right there. But when you start moving into the higher megahertz of love of acceptance of happiness, by choice, and I'm talking about choice. I'm not talking about things, making you happy. I'm talking about you waking up in the morning and choosing to be happy because it's my choice. Doesn't have anything to do with anybody else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's my choice. I choose to be happy. And it's my happiness. That matters. I would love for you to be happy, but if you don't want to be happy, that's your business. My business is to be happy. I found that when I chose to be happy, certain people were attracted to that. It's a feeling it's a feeling and what I really want to encourage you with you are beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've seen your face several times in my classroom when I've looked and I go, that's the person I'm going to draw. That's the person that's going to end up in the book. I can tell you are gorgeous. Your girls are gorgeous. At least the one that I saw gorgeous and not just gorgeous in word up. Oh, you're so beautiful because you have makeup on you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have nothing. No, no, no, no. It's your spirit. It's your spirit. And you don't have to dress any more special than you are just being, you walking in with a smile. If they don't smile back, that's on them! It has nothing to do with you. Absolutely not. You don't know what's going on in their homes. You don't know that they just cursed out their wives or their husbands.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, that's just left her husband decided I don't want to be married anymore. Children are going crazy and everything else. And they're bringing all of that to the table as well</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> question </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">though. I mean, again, it, and I usually feel that way, but time after time, when I'm hit with so much hate walking into an office, like a doctor's office, I feel like I have to go in with guards up and I don't have a smile upon my face because I'm like either scared or</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I hate being shocked. You know, the shock of like, you're, you're going along all happy. And usually this happens when Matt steps away from me, like we're S we're having such a good time. And then all of a sudden, because I'm not prepared, some foolishness comes my way. And, um, I hate that feeling of shock. So in order not to be in that feeling of shock, I, I, I kind of put my armor up and I don't have that smile.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I see you with that smile all the time and in the way you share. And it's just so inspiring, but I feel like, oh my God, I can step aside from my body and realize, oh my God, I've become one of those people that is starting to close her heart because I'm scared and I'm tired of foolishness being thrown at me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So how do you keep smiling? How do you keep happy? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> You know, it is who I surround myself with. Because if you surround yourself with negative people that go, yeah, girl, you know, that's right. When they treat you, that's horrible, you know, and I, and I'm so sick and tired of it. Yes. But what are you going to do about it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And part of it is not them doing anything about it. It's how you react. It's what you do. And you have the power to do so because there is a face that you can put on that says, I'm not going to tolerate your foolishness. And even with a smile on my face, I'm not going to tolerate your stupidness, your ignorance, all that stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It belongs to you. Have a great day. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It just feels like she just dropped something just all over our kitchen table. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> It is not about you changing their minds. It's about your mind and what you think of you. What are you thinking of? And my heart is full right now because as I look at you and Matt, you guys have raised children, you are homeschooling them to give them the best education they could possibly get.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And everybody wants to come against that. Oh, they're not socialized enough. They're not, this is whatever you guys are doing the best that you can. Yes, there you go. They're taking AP chemistry, but they're not going to get in school. They're not going to get this at school. I mean, they'll get us a certain amount of it, but you guys can pack up anytime you want.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm going to take you to France, immerse you in, uh, in the culture and in the language, you know, but this is really about you taking control of the situation. And the problem is, is that you felt so out of control because hate is so powerful and it's so real, but what's more powerful than hate is love.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it starts with love of oneself. It's not loving them. It's you loving you. And you taking the 30 over your own stuff and saying, you know what, I'm going to walk in here with my head held high. I don't owe nobody, nothing, but to love them, that's it. That's all I owe you. I don't owe you anything more than that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't even have to like you to love you. Wow. That's that's it. And it, and it helps. It helped me a great deal going to a school that was predominantly white. I remember one of my professors. Her name is Ana Ishikawa. Ana is still alive as far as I know at F.I.T and she's an alumni and she was Japanese.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She had a wooden leg. She had a peg leg and I would be the only black child in the classroom surrounded by these rich white children who probably already had careers and stuff like that planned out. My mom and dad did not want me to go to school for fashion illustration. They did not want me anywhere near art because basically in their minds, how can a child be what it's never seen before we don't, we, we know you can be a musician, you can be a musician because after we are, but then you could even work at a meat packing factory or be a phlebotomist or midwife, but artists... not too sure about that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so they, weren't very, very supportive with it. And I go to the school, I'm standing up and I'm drawing in a life drawing class and there's a naked man in front of me. And I'm afraid to draw his private parts just afraid out of my mind, I'm like, oh my God, if my, if my Christian mom and dad who were pastors and ministers found out that I was standing here drawing a naked man, they would lose their minds! It was crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I, you know what I have been exactly in that exact same spot. I was, I was in a drawing class and there was a, there was a naked man and I had to draw his body. And I was very feeling, not too good about that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I could do was laugh. Especially if they jump up and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:03]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> down. Oh no, you can't laugh at him off. Oh,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">anything like that. And the class was, as my mom says, the room was so quiet. You could hear a rat pee on cotton. It was so quiet. And I'm walking here. I hear this peg leg walking through the classroom and she gets to me as she stands right behind me. And she clicks the leg and she stands there and she said: "Brantley, Is the only color, you know, shit brown?" Whoa, that to me. And then she knocks over the easel and I mean, I am completely utterly embarrassed and I run out of the room. I just went out of the room, go in the hallway somewhere and I cried for hours. Finally get myself together. And then we have this assignment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is all going together. We have this assignment. She says, I want you to draw a person with an emotion. And I'm drawing a person with an emotion and it's the guy who's hot under the collar. And so there's fire coming out all from under his neck that I've drawn and everything. I drew it in every different color I could possibly put together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it ends up in the school gallery. Wow. And so I walked by. And I go, why is this in the school gallery? You know, she's embarrassed me and everything else, but it's in the school. Okay. She goes, I want to talk to you. She brings me to her office. I go in her office and she says, sit your ass down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, you know what? I know she going to say something to hurt my feelings. She said, you think I don't recognize that you're the only black student in this classroom. You don't think I see that. I see that. And yes, these white children, they get to wear, their fur coats. They get the smoke, their refer and drink a drink, whatever they want to drink and whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they can, they can fail and they're still going to pass and they will get a job. You, however, it's a different story. You know why I'm so hard on you? She said, because you're that good? You are that good. You're so good. You don't even understand how good you are and you take it lightly and you can't take it lightly because you're black.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can't take it lightly. They're going to see your skin way before they see your artwork. So I want them to see your artwork way before they see your skin. Your mom and dad don't have the money for you to fail. And so you will pass this class. And so I want them to see your hard work and that you draw everybody excellently Vanessa, because yes, you have to be 10 times better than they are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you already are. You just need somebody to tell you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I was sitting there, boohoo snot and crying and carrying on. I was, I was angry because at the time I didn't hear, I wasn't hearing. I just saw a teacher coming at me to bring correction. That's all I saw it wasn't until I turned 40, where the light came on and I understood why she was talking to me in a manner that she was talking to me and why she was saying what she was saying. And Vanessa it's not what people think about you it's what you think about you. What do you think about you? If you think that you're beneath, guess what? You're beneath. And if you think that you're above, that's that that's good, but it's also bad.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Are you too above to talk to people? Are you too above to listen to people? Are you too above to see people? That's a problem. So there's a balance that you need to have where you get to see all things, your mom and dad have already given it to you. I'm trying to give it to you, but you're gonna have to work for this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're going to have to work for it. And I worked for it. And if you see tears come from my eyes, it's not because I'm sad, but I remember that thing as freshly, as she said it to me, you got to work for this. And I worked for it. And here I am. So when people, you know, I have people that write sometimes and they tell me, oh, well, if you didn't tell the story about your girlfriend coming over to your house, and I'm going to share that with you at another point, but she hadn't come to your house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You would never have been discovered. Lies you tell, you'll know what you're talking about. One girl calls me on the phone and she's just going off with, you know, you just have it easy. I said, you don't know my life. You haven't, you haven't sat with me a minute to hear what I've gone through. So you, so you don't have a clue.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">My father, when we moved into this white neighborhood of only us being in the second black family, the cops would stop my father every day for a month, every day. And they would ask him for his license and his registration. And only because he was black, he drove a new Cadillac that he worked hard. And he would patiently pull it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then there were days when I would see the water in his eyes when they would call him boy. And when the cops would look in the back of the car and they would ask us, "Is this your daddy ?" And the cops, at five and six years old, they looked like giants to us and scared the snot out of us.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm like, if you only knew my father, he's a sweet man. His best friend is Mr. Feinberg. They go fishing together. They do things y'all, don't y'all, don't see what I see?! And so when you talked about you know, Fawn about seeing. We, you know, the most beautiful gift we can give to our children is the gift of them opening their eyes and seeing people as they are, and not judging them by the color of their skin, but more as Martin Luther saying, by the content of their character.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's where we need to look at people. How, how are you treating folk? Not just with your mouth, but how are you physically treating people? My mama opened the door to the veteran who was white, whose family put them out because he had post-traumatic stress syndrome and nobody could identify it. So my mother would bring him home to our home and she would feed him and she would give him clothes and let him take a shower and wash the clothes that was in his little shopping cart.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she would give him lunch and then she would give them $20 and then driving right back to the street where he lived on. And I would watch my mother do this over and over again for so many families for Muslim families that would come to America and nobody wanted to help them. My mother and father would bring them to our home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we got to see them when they would do their morning prayers and their evening prayers. For the African students that came and nobody wanted to bring them in, my mother and father would bring them in, even down to a Teddy Pendergrass had a young man, he used to sing background for him, the famous singer Teddy Pendergrass had a, a young man named Al Plowden Al Plowden, who was one of the best singers, that's background singers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think I'd ever met my whole entire life. And he would come and he would sit at the piano and he would play the piano in my mother and father's living room. And he was the first aids patient, HIV patient in the USA that lived in our home. This is when everybody thought it was contagious or they're going to catch it or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He lived in our home. And I would listen to this young man sing, and he knew that I could sing. I sang in our choir and everything else, but he would tell me constantly. He said, Vanessa, you don't sing with confidence. I'm going to show you how to sing with confidence. And he showed me how to sing with confidence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it was the gift that he gave me before he died, you know? And, and that my mother would take in this young man who was gay, whose family, the church, everybody rejected him, but she goes, no, baby, come home with me. I'm gonna take good care of you. And his sentence, unfortunately, because they didn't have all the drugs that they have now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He died 28 years old, but he left me with a fabulous gift. He left me with the gift to express myself and to show love to everybody. Those people I saw with my eyes and not just heard them say things .I watched them do kind things for everyone. And it changed my life. It's why I do what I do in my art.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Wow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:41]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> I wouldn't the artist I am today. If I didn't do it, you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it completely dawns on me. We really haven't even talked about what you do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> by the way, folks. She's also </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a children's author and artist. She's written some 80 plus books, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> illustrated </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> and illustrated. Yeah. Yep. And five are written five out of my home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. Yes. I have, uh, been blessed to today illustrate 90, 97 books, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> 97. So you stopped counting at 80 Matt. My bad. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> No, no. It's no, no, no. It's not your bad because there were books, math that I did for artists or for our writers who were not prominently out there. Let's just say that they were self published situations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I of all the work I tell people all the time, if you deliver the baby as a midwife and nobody knew you, and then you got discovered. And you delivered some more babies, would you excavate all the babies?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I'm not excavating all these books that I've done before, because a lot of people go, oh, I've only counted 80. You know what? I don't, I don't, I don't know. You know, uh, if she's telling the truth, you don't know those other people that I did work for. So,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> uh, w I mean, there's so many things to discuss. I know my I'm I'm quiet, which is rare on our shows. I'm never quiet because my mind is filled with questions and with stories that I know of, of Vanessa </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">where do you guys want? I mean, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> well, I can definitely tell them about, you know, being an illustrator, um, you know, and how that came about. I've been drawing since I was three years old and I remember one day I was in the kitchen and I took out my Crayola crayons, and I drew on the side of the stove while my mom and dad were cooking and I got up and I jumped back and I said, I'm an artist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they were like, no, you're not, you're a janitor. You're going to clean all this stuff up. And they gave me a bucket and some Comet cleanser</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and I went to clean it up. And then they sent me to my room where I went in the closet and I drew some more and I drew on the baseboards. And I would talk to my characters that I would draw. And it was my way of expressing myself because I didn't start talking until I was five years old. I am dyslexic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I have synesthesia and I also stutter. And, um, it made it very, very difficult for school. And so the story I was sharing about the teacher, when I first came into the classroom and being the only child of color there, um, she had threatened me actually. And she told me that if I hadn't eaten, if I didn't eat the oatmeal that she sat before me, she was going to stick my head in the fish tank .That's what she said to me, scared the life out of me and school for me, went downhill from there that, uh, so I failed through school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I failed horribly through school F's and D's everywhere. And my mom and dad didn't really know how to be advocates for me in that, back in the day, if somebody expressive, if there was somebody white and they said that your child did something, uh, back in the day, your parents would spank you that th th the teacher would spank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then when you got home, you would get another spanking. And so I never told my mom and dad, all that was going on in school. So I ended up in remedial reading. Um, a special ed basically is what they called it. And I stayed in special ed until the end of high school. That's where I was. And I never really spoke to people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Never really, uh, had conversations too much with people; made friends, but those friends were also friends who were ostracized and pushed aside and rejected. And what I want to say about rejection is sometimes, sometimes rejection is your indication that you have outgrown people, circumstances, and things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sometimes rejection is exactly what you need, because if you're not rejected, you'll become just like them. And that is not what God, the universe Allah does not want that for you. And so I got a separate you because you won't separate yourself because you feel the need to just fit it. I am not born to fit in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I am born to stand out. And unfortunately, so many people don't understand that. Especially you all this, trying to make friends with people and all that. No, you're not going to fit in. You're born to stand out and embrace it soon because I don't want you to become 40 and 50 and 60 trying to find yourselves, you know, then find yourself now! There's a group of people that are waiting for you, to discover who you are first, so that you can go and be in relationship with them. With all of that said, I get through high school, high school, wasn't my happy place, but I did have a couple of people that really stood out and they were Mr. Small and Ms. Dean, two white teachers who loved me to tears.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I have tears getting ready to stream down my face because they looked past my color and they saw my character. They saw my parents and they saw this impeccable gift that God had given me of drawing. And they told me we're going to do everything within our power to get you into a school where they're going to accept you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">My PSA scores, my scores for our school were under. Under 400. Why, why would FIt take me? Why I would take, why would they take me? My aunt, Annie, who is no longer with us and my two teachers, Mr. Small. and Ms. Dean took me up to FIt and told them, we know that her test scores are horrible, but you got to see her gift.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And they sent me to a room and they told me to draw. And I drew for two hours, two hours, anything they put in front of me, I drew it and they accepted me off of that. That's how I got into FIt; not because I had perfect scores, none of that. Get through FIT. My parents tell me we don't have the money for you to finish school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Not a problem at all. You need to go and work with your mom as a phlebotomist in the morning. That's how I became a phlebotomist. My mother taught me how to draw blood and I got awards for drawing blood, they would hear my name over the Intercom so much that they thought I was a doctor because I would go from, I would go from newborn or premature babies to women with cancer to older gentlemen who had their veins and could not get in their veins to, uh, people with HIV who nobody wanted to touch to people who, uh, were drug addicts and you couldn't get into their veins.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Those are the people that I dealt with. So I dealt with basically who people did not want to deal with. Right. And I wonder why I was like, God, do what, what are you going to do? You know, with my art work and you I've been drawing and everything, and I draw all the time and nobody wants to hire me, I can't get a job, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And my mother and father were like, just be happy being a phlebotomist, just do that. But I would draw every day I would draw. And then, then I put down my pen, just put it down and stopped drawing one day, walking through the hallway, one of my teachers walked up to me and she said, um, uh, it was, uh, a therapist. She walked up to me and she says, Vanessa, she said, when you first came to this hospital to work, you used to smile all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now you don't smile anymore. What's up? I told her, I said. I'm faced with reality every day that all the babies don't go home, all the babies, don't get parents that pick them up and take them all the babies don't come out with a clean bill of health, asthma, cancer, HIV, still borns. All of that. I'm faced with this reality that men and women have breast cancer, that men also get breast cancer that people have surgeries and some of them just don't come out the same way they went in. She said, Vanessa, what do you do for fun? I told her, I said, oh, I sit in the church choir. And I did. She said, no, no. What do you do for fun? I said, well, I love to draw. She said, you do. I said, yeah. She said, I want you to get a notebook and I want you to draw every baby, every woman, every young person, every old man, old woman that you have ever come in contact with that touched your life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want you to draw them, draw them in memory. And thank God for photo to photographic memory. I drew so many children, but one little boy in particular, Ryan, Ryan was a cancer patient and he died. And Ryan stayed in my soul for many, many, many, many, many months. And days, weeks had passed and I was crying all the time about him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I got him out of me finally. And then as I got him out, I got all of these different babies out of me. Well the years past. I get married, my husband on 9/11 loses his job because of 9/11 unfortunately, he was an aeronautical engineer. I just buried a baby who would have been, uh, this coming may would have been 23. I, uh, I had a stillborn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, I just delivered a live baby. Zoe, my daughter, who is 21 now, and we're in the house and he's not bringing in any money because they're stopping unemployment. I don't want to go back into phlebotomy, but I did. The people at the phlebotomy studio didn't want me there no more. They didn't want me there, all the things that were happening to me to mess me up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was drawing, I was drawing Zoe. I was drawing every book I took. I remember The Snowy Day, The Snowy Day by Ezra, Jack Keats. I took that book and I took it apart. Literally took it apart and studied every last drawing of Ezra, Jack Keats up close. I didn't have the money to go back to school, but I put myself in my own school where I would take some times our food money and I would buy art supplies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And Ray goes, what are we going to do? We're going to have spaghetti again?. Yes, we're going to have spaghetti again tonight because I need art supplies, I will take those art supplies. And I literally would create my own school. And I would copy everything that he did to the point where I had all of my living room artwork everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was everywhere. It was on the couch. It was on the table. And I remember my girlfriend saying, Vanessa, I need to come over and pray with you. And I was like, I don't want pray, whatever you can come over. I'm really not interested in praying right now. And she said, no, seriously, I need to come over and I need to pray with you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ray hears this, he goes, you need to clean the house up, Vanessa. You didn't clear, just clean it. Just cut the artwork and this clean up. And I'm trying to get it cleaned up as fast as I possibly could. Couldn't get everything taken care of. Karen walks in. Hi, Vanessa. Oh my goodness. Vanessa, who does all this work?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I said I do. She said Vanessa, in all the years that you and I have known each other, you never told me that you were an illustrator . I said, I'm going to try to be illustrate. I'm not really illustrated. She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're doing the work. You are an illustrator. She goes, do you know who I worked for?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I said, no. She said, Vanessa, you don't know who I worked for. I said, no. She's said, Vanessa, I work for Scholastic Books. You're hired.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They're the people who published Harry Potter for goodness sake. But before that, I mean, literally every book I read until I was 12 was published by Scholastic. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> And it is to say, Matt and Fawn is that in having that experience of drawing those children in those books, you know, in those, in those sketchbooks and putting them in the sketchbooks and then going back to those sketchbooks, and one of the books that I did called Drum City, I was able to take Ryan, the pictures that I drew of Ryan and put Ryan into that book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he became the star of that book. And when his parents got a chance to pick up that book and look at it, it was Ryan actually having a second life. He got a chance to live on to memorialize him, not in a sad way, but to celebrate his life was so empowering for his parents to move on and go ahead and live their lives.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was, they said it was a gift that I gave them. It was a gift that Ryan gave me. So sometimes some, you know, to all of you who are listening, who are thinking, why am I working at this store? Why am I around these people? Why am I in this marriage? Why do I have a child with special needs? Why you know all these?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why, why, why, why, why, why, why sometimes they allow us to talk to people that would never ever hear us if we didn't go through those things. Because the one thing I've learned y'all is that people don't care about your successes. They don't care about that. You know, we don't care what you won award Caldecott.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We don't care about that by the way, I haven't won any of those, but they don't care about you winning that. They want to know. What did you do on the days when you would just want to throw all your artwork out and say I'm done? What did, what did you do when they rejected you and told you that you weren't good enough for for whatever. I kept going, I kept going and I kept doing the thing that made me happy. And in that I found that people liked what I liked. And so I get to share it with them. And so that's what I want to leave with your listeners. Keep your eyes open, keep your spirit open. Keep your eyes peeled for the most incredible things right up under your nose.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. And also way more than a little stand here. I know. That's why I've been quiet. I don't want to say anything, but that's also why I think that Vanessa is doing is connecting that's. I mean, you don't have to have the awards. You're connecting. You're showing the connection. You're helping every soul that you come in contact with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I mean, you are, uh, I am speechless. Speechless is good because we need to hear every thing that Vanessa is saying. Absolutely. And replay it over and over again. </span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Vanessa is coming back. We're going to do a few shows with different topics. And before, before I get into the topic, that's going to be the next show; Vanessa, before we go, can you share one more story. You talk about the funny story of the dumb TV and Romper Room about being seen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can you, can we close off the show with that story? Do you mind? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> It gives us that it's hilarious. Okay. So back in the day, You know, when television was alive, you know, and television had ears, basically he had ears on the TV and everything. And, um, I remember Romper Room was one of my favorite favorite programs along with Captain Kangaroo and, you know, Sesame Street, just starting out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so, um, I got to see these people in the morning and I would literally dress for the show. I would literally dress for the show because she had a magic wand that she looked into and she could tell, you know, if you were in the audience. And so I remember this particular day, I told my mother, I said, well, you do my hair and make sure you put something on my face.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And my face is shiny when she sees me and I put on my church shoes and I put on my church outfit and everything. And I went and I ran and sat in front of the television and she holds up a magic wand and I'm looking out into television land. And I see Bobby, I see Susie, I see Mary and I would go, I waved my head.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">: "Do you se me??" And the TV, of course, couldn't talk back. I'm a child and TV was, you know, magical. We thought TV talked back to us or they could see us. And so, she didn't respond. So I moved up closer to the television because of course it's it's TV land. Maybe I'm too far away for her to see me as she holds up her magic wand.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Again, I see Bobby, I see Mary, I see Jan and I'm waving my hand: "DO YOU SEE ME????" And I'm yelling at the TV. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt is turning pink.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">She still doesn't see me, man, get up. Right. So I get up and I do what my father did when the TV didn't work. It had ears on it. So what he would do is he would walk up to the TV and he would adjust the ears or whatever, or he would make my sister or I stand next to the TV and, you know, we'll get better reception for the bond.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I, you know, I do what he did. He would adjust the ears and he'd hit it on the side three times, and then he kick it and then he kicked it. So I did the same thing. I walked up to the TV, adjusted the ears, hit it on the side three times bang, bang bang and then I kicked it, sat down and she's called out the names again to see Bobby.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I see Jared, I see Beth. "DO YOU SEE ME?!".</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, I'm just having a bad day. So I walked into the kitchen and I look up at my mom and this way it gets a little sentimental. I look up at my mom and I said, mommy, am I invisible? You know? And when I tell this to the kids, the kids kind of laugh, but then there's a part of them that gets it. She didn't see, she didn't see you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I asked her, I said, mommy, am I invisible? And I remember my mother grabbing my face and it's looking at down at me and she said, baby, they don't see you right now. But one day she said, me and your father were walking for it. We're singing for it. Some of us are dying and even going to jail for it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But one day, Vanessa, I promise you, they going to see you in lights. And now I look back at it and there, it was prophetic. Honestly, it was really prophetic what she was saying to me. And you know, it is something to be said when a girl who wears a hijab, doesn't see herself in pictures or it's considered not pretty because they wear a burka.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can't see my face or because she's brown or because she's albino or she's white and she might have a purple or a blue stain on her face. Or she's autistic or in a wheelchair or other. It's important that our children see themselves because when they can see themselves, they can be themselves and then they can free themselves and help other people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's the powerful message. So, uh, yes, she didn't see me, but I, I see you. I have children all the time and adults. I see you. I see. I really do. Thank you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. I see you. I'm so glad I saw you. I'm so glad I saw you and had the opportunity to take your art class, your art classes, Vanessa. And, and, uh, I was just going to say something else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hold on her </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> artwork is absolutely phenomenal. You should definitely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> check it out. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I wanted to say we're all children. We all need to be seen. We are all little babies walking around. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. Well, we are certainly that jumble of emotions and sometimes it takes a lot to like tease it out, but it's all </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> in there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's all in there. It's all in there. And, and there, there are stories that make us different and cultures and everything else, but the fact of being seen and appreciated, oh my gosh. If we could just gather children up and just looking at their faces and tell them how precious and valuable they are, what a, what a stain of that on their brains</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, would remain? I remember, um, just, uh, before we end, I had last year, uh, the year before last, whether it was for COVID hit was a kind of, one of my last visits to a school. , I was reading, from my new book, uh, or one of the books before this one, this came out calledJust Like Me and I was doing a poem on, I love my body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I asked some of the students, I said, who in here loves their body. And, uh, most of the kids raised their hand, but there were three children that did not raise their hands. And I looked over at him and I asked him, I said, why don't you like your body? And it was a little black boy. And he says to me, he said, I don't like my skin.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I said, why don't you like your skin? He said, cause everybody, and even the people in my family telling me I'm black, I'm too black. And that thing, when I tell you it went through me, like somebody had shot me in the chest with an arrow and I stopped the presentation and the teachers were kind of looking at me like, what is she going to do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I remember getting on my knees in front of him and I'm a pretty big woman. I got big boobs. I got stomach and everything, but I got down on my knees in front of him. And like I said, excuse me, if I get a little emotional, but I say this for everybody, that's listening. If I were close to you, I would do the same thing to you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you told me that you were dumb or stupid, or you couldn't do anything or you're useless, or people find you useless or people misuse you or whatever, I would get on my knees and I would do the same for you. And I got on my knees and I grabbed his face with my hands and I looked him in the heart. I told him, I said, I want you to look to the side.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't look anywhere. I want you to look at my face. Look at me, look at me. I said, if nobody ever, ever tells you ever in life again, I'm going to tell you, you are perfect just the way you are. And he tried to look away because he didn't accept. I told him, I said, I know I need you to look at me. You are perfect just the way you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I could see the look on his face and he saw the tears streaming down my face. And I often think about that because I don't know that he'll remember next year, five years from now, but I hope that when he turns 30, when he turns 45, when he turns 50 he'll remember that Vanessa Brantley-Newton told him that he was perfect.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I say that to all of your listeners, whether here in America, overseas, France, wherever you are, if you're a man that don't have a job right now, trying to find yourself. If you're a young girl who's struggling with, I'm not a YouTube star, nobody sees me. If you're a grown woman, who has children, you have to take care of and you feel like I'll never get to my career.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That I'll never do anything. I need to be perfect. I need to be this. I'm here to tell you that you're already perfect. That you're enough. You are enough. You just need to know it. You are enough. And it first starts with you because you can't give to anybody until you give exclusively to yourself. You matter. You matter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so that's how I will leave you all today. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that is why Matt, you always see me crying at the computer. When I'm taking classes from Vanessa, she's showing you how to draw a nose. And this is what you get</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:24]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> that's right? Because your nose is fine. And this is what you get. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You guys, this is the continuation of a beautiful friendship. We're going to come back Vanessa. And there's something that Vanessa said that, I want to repeat. She said preparation and opportunity kissed and made a baby called success.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can you say it again? You say things better. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:07:52]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Vanessa:</strong></span> Yes. So, uh, so I say that preparation and opportunity meet each other and they kiss and there is success. It's because you've prepared. What happens is some people are looking for success to happen, but they've done nothing to prepare for it. Even little things that you do, you prepare for it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I know that you are a martial arts family. I, I practice Tai Chi. I know that what I give time over to my body and I practice Tai Chi. There is something that happens with my energy, with my spirit. Whether I remember mentally or whatever my body begins to respond and I begin to move in a way that is responsive and that helps me to prepare.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I'm going to tell you all prepare if you want success, prepare for it. Don't just expect it to show up.Prepare for it!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:08:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And prepare yourself for the next show we have with Vanessa, because that will be our topic. It is all about that; embracing diversity and overcoming adversity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to get ahold of Vanessa, go to https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/ vanessa Brantley Newton on Instagram and Facebook. Same Vanessa Brantley-Newton. you can go to painted-words.com. You can find her all over YouTube. You can take classes with her. There are amazing classes that Vanessa teachers and you can look out for her on TEDx amazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right, guys, thank you so much for being with us, Vanessa. We love you so much. Thank you for being in our circle of friendship and sharing your stories. We love you so much. Thank you all for listening. We'll talk to you in a few days. Take care, everyone. Bye. Bye-bye </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:09:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> be well.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[the art of friendship; we've talked about the different kinds of friends, the art of friendship, people along the way who changed the direction of our path, our understanding of life, the trajectory of our heart. It happens in different ways. It could be good or bad. I'm really mostly talking about the good. We've talked about this on other episodes. For example, one of my favorite episodes that we did was the one on "The Weird Friend". remember Matt. That's where through the etymology and from our own personal experience, we understood the original and true meaning of the word weird, which meant, or means fate chance, fortune destiny, like totally magical.
There are so many different kinds of friends. Some friends are people who meet us on the path for a few seconds. I think all meetings, the chance ones, the split-second ones, the long relationship ones, the quick glance ones are all pre-planned meetings. 
Have you ever had a friend or been in the presence of a person who weaves magic all around?
Have you ever had that friend with mountain-moving words; with such elegance and style, with great command, with powerful ways of seeing, with the kind of insight that seems to wave a magic wand, and you feel immediately transformed, gifted, alive, and fully embodied by love. Have you ever had that enlightened friend, the great friend, the friend who makes you cry with joy and inspiration and hope, maybe it's been eons since you felt this way or met this kind of friend?
Maybe you've been hurt by foolish people, foolish people, and it hurt you so bad that you told yourself. I will never let myself be exposed to that kind of hurt ever again. So you told yourself that such a friend, such a great friend doesn't even exist. So you close yourself off and you just live a certain way; not even looking for that. Maybe you haven't met this kind of great friend yet. Well, now you will or will again. Matt and I have the best friend to introduce you to (Vanessa Brantley-Newton).
https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/
https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hi, everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. Hi everybody. Have you? Ah, how do I, okay, so we've talked about this a lot, the art of friendship; we've talked about the different kinds of friends, the art of friendship, people along the way who changed the direction of our path, our understanding of life, the trajectory of our heart. It happens in different ways. It could be good or bad. I'm really mostly talking about the good. We've talked about this on other episodes. For example, one of my favorite episodes that we did was the one on "The Weird Friend". remember Matt. That's where through the etymology and from our own personal experience, we understood the original and true meaning of the word weird, which meant, or means fate chance, fortune destiny, like totally magical.
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:11:02</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Eudaimonia]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Nov 2021 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/eudaimonia</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/eudaimonia</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Eudaimonia is a Greek word, literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit which is commonly translated as happiness or welfare. The closest English word is probably flourish; the word flourishing. Aristotle used it as a broad concept to describe the highest good humans could strive toward or having a life of flourishment. <br />What does it mean to have a virtuous life? How does genius and creativity come into this topic?<br /></span></p>
<p align="left"><br />If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi everybody. Hello? Eudaimonia it sounds like, let me say it again. Eudaimonia, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but it's one word.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's one word. Eudaimonia it sounds like you'd a man. You da man </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or the money </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or, there's another pronunciation. Eudaimonia so we have another Greek word for you today, guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's eudaimonia. And Aristotle is joining us today. Again, as much as we can channel Aristotle, our friend to the art of friendship. All right. Eudaimonia is a Greek word, literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit which is commonly translated as happiness or welfare. Okay. The closest English word is probably flourish; the word flourishing. Aristotle used it as a broad concept to describe the highest good humans could strive <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> toward or having a life of flourishment; a state of wellbeing is what it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">An example of eudaimonia was like it was achieved through being virtuous; living a virtuous life, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but isn't that bigger than that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So let me just keep going and we can get into it. So virtue is moral excellence to allow something to act in harmony with its purpose. That's interesting. If you think about it with friendship, allowing something to act in harmony with its purpose. So don't put anything on someone don't put anything on the friendship, just allow it to see what its true purpose is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe this person is not your true friend. What is the purpose of that being in your life? Just look at it objectively. So anyway, let me go on. An example of something virtuous, like having a virtuous life would be an artist or in this case the definition I've <span></span></span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Eudaimonia is a Greek word, literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit which is commonly translated as happiness or welfare. The closest English word is probably flourish; the word flourishing. Aristotle used it as a broad concept to describe the highest good humans could strive toward or having a life of flourishment. What does it mean to have a virtuous life? How does genius and creativity come into this topic?
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace

Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hi everybody. Hello? Eudaimonia it sounds like, let me say it again. Eudaimonia, 
[00:00:09] Matt: but it's one word.
[00:00:10] Fawn: It's one word. Eudaimonia it sounds like you'd a man. You da man 
[00:00:15] Matt: or the money 
[00:00:16] Fawn: or, there's another pronunciation. Eudaimonia so we have another Greek word for you today, guys.
It's eudaimonia. And Aristotle is joining us today. Again, as much as we can channel Aristotle, our friend to the art of friendship. All right. Eudaimonia is a Greek word, literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit which is commonly translated as happiness or welfare. Okay. The closest English word is probably flourish; the word flourishing. Aristotle used it as a broad concept to describe the highest good humans could strive [00:01:00] toward or having a life of flourishment; a state of wellbeing is what it is. 
 An example of eudaimonia was like it was achieved through being virtuous; living a virtuous life, 
[00:01:16] Matt: but isn't that bigger than that?
[00:01:18] Fawn: So let me just keep going and we can get into it. So virtue is moral excellence to allow something to act in harmony with its purpose. That's interesting. If you think about it with friendship, allowing something to act in harmony with its purpose. So don't put anything on someone don't put anything on the friendship, just allow it to see what its true purpose is.
Maybe this person is not your true friend. What is the purpose of that being in your life? Just look at it objectively. So anyway, let me go on. An example of something virtuous, like having a virtuous life would be an artist or in this case the definition I've ]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Eudaimonia]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Eudaimonia is a Greek word, literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit which is commonly translated as happiness or welfare. The closest English word is probably flourish; the word flourishing. Aristotle used it as a broad concept to describe the highest good humans could strive toward or having a life of flourishment. <br />What does it mean to have a virtuous life? How does genius and creativity come into this topic?<br /></span></p>
<p align="left"><br />If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
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<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hi everybody. Hello? Eudaimonia it sounds like, let me say it again. Eudaimonia, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but it's one word.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's one word. Eudaimonia it sounds like you'd a man. You da man </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or the money </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or, there's another pronunciation. Eudaimonia so we have another Greek word for you today, guys.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's eudaimonia. And Aristotle is joining us today. Again, as much as we can channel Aristotle, our friend to the art of friendship. All right. Eudaimonia is a Greek word, literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit which is commonly translated as happiness or welfare. Okay. The closest English word is probably flourish; the word flourishing. Aristotle used it as a broad concept to describe the highest good humans could strive <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> toward or having a life of flourishment; a state of wellbeing is what it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">An example of eudaimonia was like it was achieved through being virtuous; living a virtuous life, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but isn't that bigger than that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So let me just keep going and we can get into it. So virtue is moral excellence to allow something to act in harmony with its purpose. That's interesting. If you think about it with friendship, allowing something to act in harmony with its purpose. So don't put anything on someone don't put anything on the friendship, just allow it to see what its true purpose is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe this person is not your true friend. What is the purpose of that being in your life? Just look at it objectively. So anyway, let me go on. An example of something virtuous, like having a virtuous life would be an artist or in this case the definition I've <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> found was like, a virtuous carpenter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. In their trade virtue would be excellence in artistic eye having a steady hand, having patience. Working with creativity that is virtuous. That is having, a, eudaimonian life </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or perhaps eudemonias life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Eudaimonias , so having a unit, you didn't, I don't know. I can't even pronounce it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Having a, eudaiman life is one dedicated to developing elec L you don't, uh, you don't. Oh my God. You, they, men. No, I can't say it anymore. Uh, you Damon, you're thinking too much. Are you diamond? A eudaiman life is one dedicated to developing excellences of being human. So Aristotle would say this means having and working with the virtues, like courage, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> wisdom, good humor, kindness, compassion, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Some of, okay, so then this part it's so funny because people take Aristotle perhaps too, literally I think is what's happening here. But I was reading how people take, Aristotle's conclusions, to be really awful because he said he believed that ugliness and we talked about ugliness on another episode remember? But he believed that ugliness was a hindrance to developing practical social virtues, like friendship. Because nobody would be friends with an ugly person. So whoever, whoever, whoever read this, I think thought immediately you have to have a certain aesthetic, you have to be blonde and thin or whatever, whatever the way of looking beautiful is in our society, whatever is in <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> Vogue in that time period.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But what I think what I know he's talking about. You can't have friends of your ugly, ugly, in spirit. How many times do I tell this to the girls? You can meet someone like you think your true love, right? And they're so beautiful, handsome, whatever that in an instant goes away when they're acting ugly, when they're ugly on the inside.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But if you're beautiful on the inside, you're always beautiful in all ways. A person that acts ugly is ugly. Ugly uuuuuuuugleeeee</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. So don't judge a book by its cover. And by the way, let's point out that a famous, another famous ancient Greek Socrates legendarily ugly physically. They will pull his nose.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I kid you not. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That doesn't mean they're ugly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He was described as legendarily ugly, as far as his physical appearance. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Poor <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> baby. That's terrible, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but he's legendary. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So is that kind of like, um, uh, oh, I got I'm blanking on his name. Yeah. Cyrano de Bergerac, perhaps that's terrible, but like, yeah, ugliness gets in the way, but anyway, I think I'm veering away from you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Did you? Oh my God. Here we go again. eudaimonia or eudaimonia. We were harping on really the recipe of it. Which would be to be true, to be good, to be beautiful. And now having discussed Aristotle and beauty, I think beautiful, we now can be on the same page with in this episode, as we talk about beauty, it's beauty as in spirit, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">correct?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's not this, it's not the skin deep stuff, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's funny because this whole. Eudaimonia came about because I was reading a book, which w came <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> recommended. And then I started reading it on my guys to my friends. I'm like, oh my God, this book is so good. They're like, yeah, we've known about this book for years.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Don't you hate that? You think you come up with this really Primo, whatever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I didn't come up with it. A teacher, recommended it,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but still it's like, it's like, mention it And they're like, yeah, yeah. I read that like four years ago. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thanks. Yeah. Well, and then they have it around their house and apparently like KJ.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is her gift to her friends every year. Like, she'll give this book as a gift to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">everyone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You need to get her gift list and like buy all those books by all the stuff on her. Like Oprah's list just by her. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We should have a KJ list of gifts. This book was recommended by a teacher and he was saying that he reads it every Christmas every year. And it's interesting because when I said, oh my God, Beth KJ, have you guys read that? You guys should read this book. It's great. And they're like, yeah, we have that book. And then immediately KJ, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> snapshots, some shots of her coffee table, like in her living room. And she's like, see, and had all these tabs in it and all these notes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She's like, yeah, no, I read this four times a year. Like why? So people read this over and over again and get to the point. All right. The book is called, first of all, it's called "Big Magic". And it's by Elizabeth Gilbert. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Who is that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, eat, pray, love. She wrote that. Okay. So she was talking about a genius.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She was talking about. The portion of the book, which brought about eudaimonia. She was talking about how it wasn't until the Renaissance that we took on the quality of genius as us. Like this person is a genius. But before that, it was thought of as a spirit, an entity that whispers to you that comes in and out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not you. So it's a collaboration with you and this force. And so she started talking about in ancient Greek, the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> highest degree of human happiness is eudaimonia, which basically means well Damon. And when I first read that, I'm like, is that a demons? Yes, it is it. What is Daymond? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it depends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Context is all. Uh, Damons actually, I first found out about those way back programming they're in Unix. People create these things that just run in the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">background. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What is Unix? What are you talking about? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sorry. Unix gave birth to Lennox. It's not. Forgive me technical. It's an operating system like windows 10 or 11 and or a Mac OSX Unix.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So in college mainframe, Tran Unix, life was simple and now computers run Linux, which is kind of the same thing. But forgive me, it really isn't, but we're not going to get into that. But a Damon is a program that just runs in the background. He's just hanging out there and he does things for you. He's almost like a SERVANT.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Which is interesting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm going to read from this little paragraph of her book, she goes, those are the word. Uh, Damon is Greek. Um, the degree of human happiness is eudaimonia, which basically means well Daymond. And then she goes, that is nicely taken care of by some external divine creative spirit guide.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she says modern commentators, perhaps uncomfortable with this sense of divine mystery, simply call it flow or being in the zone. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. She goes on to say, but the Greeks and the Romans both believed in the idea of an external Damon of creativity. She talks about how they believed that a house was inhabited by an elf or a spirit. This is roughly translated by myself. Cause I don't want to totally just read from her book. Someone who helps you with your work, with your creativity, with your laborers, the Romans <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> had a specific term for that helpful elf, if you will, and they called it your GENIUS; you're guardian deity, the conduit of your inspiration. The Romans believed that when a person was gifted, they had a genius. They believed that they had a genius that you weren't a genius, that you had someone working with you; this genius. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Which is interesting because the Greeks also give us the idea of the muse, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. Whispers in your whispers secrets in your ear, perhaps. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So she gets into the whole psychology of construction. This caught my eye, the subtle important distinction of being, versus having, of being versus having. And I think of friendship, the idea of being a friend versus having a friend, it's kind of the same "genius" concept. You are a friend and what is having a friend? You have to be the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> friend. You can't just have a friend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know what I mean? Of course it's a two-way street, but I also think about being a genius versus having genius. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly, exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Your painting this really straight line for me right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Okay. So having painted all of that, let's talk about eudaimonia or eudaimonia and Damon, and how that could be a good recipe for having really good relationships, having connections with people. It's about virtue, it's about the true, the good and the beautiful, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. Absolutely back to my man. Socrates, Socrates had a Damon. He used to describe as Damon and it would talk to him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Really? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Seriously. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Tell me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, no, that's basically all I that's all I know about that. No, no, no, no. Um, honestly, I think that, that's what led him down his kind of oratory path.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's almost like he would have conversations with th with the Damon. Supposedly <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> he could shred anybody, debating him, which is a scary thought, right? Cause he would carefully lay a trap for the other person very slowly by asking lots of questions. And he finally like tie them up in a place where they couldn't answer his question, with all the facts they had previously given him. So they'd have to run away and be upset. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God, I have a teacher right now, an amazing art teacher, Vanessa from storyteller academy. And she always says, she talks to her characters when she's drawing them. And she's like, what kind of hairstyle do you want today? What do you want to wear today?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What are you? You know, she talks about. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, so it's a way of breathing more life and making these more real because they are, they start out as very one dimensional characters. It's only through time that they gain more dimensions. And the same thing happens with the people in your life to explain, well, you first meet somebody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, okay, let's pretend, you know, let's pretend I'm on the bus and I'm sitting now next to somebody <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> and I noticed that they have a, I don't know, whatever they're wearing a shirt from a sports team I'm fond of. So I engage them in a conversation. Now, all of a sudden they went from being just literally kind of a gray figure, just a person around me and they've now gained a dimension.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then what happens if they're like, oh yeah, absolutely. I'm going to the game tonight. And you're like, oh, that's. And then maybe I have an extra ticket or who knows. And all of a sudden, now they start to gain more dimensions and then you learn more things about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So all this because of what they were wearing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> all this because of one thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, whatever that one thing is. Did they choose to react to me? Are they reading a given book? Are they looking at a given movie? Are they, you know, it's a question of who they are. And sometimes people are just nice, but there is no real connection, but you still, they still manage to become, gain more dimensions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Having some kind of connection, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? Yeah. Like, um, yeah, one of the people on my team right now, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> super nice guy. And we're, we're slowly starting to learn about each other. I really don't think we have anything in common and that's fine. So we're probably going to stay in kind of this weird acquaintance zone, but.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And your, your brow is ferlin a little bit to that, isn't it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, I was just thinking, could I truly get along with someone then I have absolutely nothing in common with, and I was first thinking. Yeah, because I would be interested in something I don't know. Or perhaps I would like to stretch myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But then what if, what if, what if, what if that's why my brow was furled? Right. Because I'm like, well, what if they're an extreme political view for me right now. And I never thought I would be a political type person where meeting someone, their politics would be a deal breaker, a deal breaker for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I have reached that point,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? No, I totally get it. Yeah, absolutely. Unfortunately there've been one or <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> two personalities in the field of music I listened to who have done some things that aren't. And it's like, will I ever listened to them again? I don't think so. But we'll see.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And yeah. And that's the, that's been the topic of discussion. What do you do when you have people in your life that are great geniuses, but then you find out, wow, these are some horrible people. If you think of artists, they've created masterpieces, great works of art, but then you find out that they did some horrible things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, Do you hate their genius is their genius is not them. Do you hate their work and ban their work? Or do you just see them as separate and say, this is an awful person? How many artists are there out there that we have had to perhaps cancel, like throughout history was Dr. Seuss. One of them. I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know, but like, I don't know <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> why Dr. Seuss just came to mind. I really don't know. Please forgive me. Let's scratch. Let's let's leave Dr. Seuss out of this, but like, when you hear a musician, like let's take Michael Jackson, right. People are banning his music. Like don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">listen to it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, there's, there's an uncomfortable narrative to Michael Jackson's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">life now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But his genius is now guilty by association. So anyway, same thing, like, do I, can I be friends with someone that is so different? And so diametrically opposed to everything I believe in am I getting off track? No. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Surely not. And you know, I have to say that I work with people with a challenging political beliefs. let's just say. But we do have something in common because the work we have in common and we can share the work and we can share the knowledge that we gain and we can share that kind of stuff. So we can still share. Am I planning on going over to so-and-so's house for barbecue? No, probably not, would I meet him for lunch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> probably would. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This would be a type one or a type two kind of a friend based on our understanding of the Nicomachean ethics. So we're not going to love them for everything that they are. We're not going to love this person just the way they are. Right. It's a superficial friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> , it's a give and take, I think relationship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't think it's one that is your bosom buddy. You know? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there's nothing inherently wrong with that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There's nothing wrong with it, but it's disappointing. Like, you know, like I've been saying, I've been going through that myself, even though I know this stuff and I find out, oh man, another one bites the dust. Here was a friend that I thought was my like, soulmate friend. And I'm like, oh man, they're really not. You know what I mean? They're like, They're in it for something else. And I was in it with a completely open heart, always there and then realizing this person is not reciprocating. deep down they're in it for <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> some other reason than the pure love of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's it. I'm sorry, what I've been going through? I'm telling you it's hard. It's devastating. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I totally get it. That's why I'm, I think I'm more measured and careful. And I just maintain a curiosity when I run into somebody who I don't have a lot of common with, it just sparks my curiosity, frankly, and it just, you know, I'll find those points of intersection and I'll see where we can communicate and where we can be happy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I know for sure, I'm going to learn a little, little sum sum from this person, and that makes me happy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, well, you're thinking about it, whereas me, I'm just diving in, you know, and then I'm in the waters. I'm like, oh my God, what have I gotten myself into? And it's hard to get out of it. Yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Because you've invested your time, your energy, your spirit into it, and you don't want to be wrong. You don't want to be proven wrong. Like, oh, I thought this, this was this, but it's really not what I thought. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> And it's hard to see the truth sometimes. It's painful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It is for sure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But that's why I do like stupid things. Like if I notice that I'm the one who's always calling, then I'll stop and see what happens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I know I noticed that, but even that is painful for me. You can let it go. Me it's been months and I'm like, oh, I really want to work on not calling this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, it's horrible. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> get it. I totally get it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But can we get back to eudaimonia? Yes. So living a virtuous life, like being of a virtuous type person, that's the true way to connect. So even if this person is not your true friend, right. And let's say someone acts ugly or is ugly like that. Right. You're not going to act like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't play that game. You're going to stay within your own virtue of doing things with excellence. Well, I would say you're going to have <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> a flourishing life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I would say I do these things. I'm not going to project that on someone else though. No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm saying one word when I say you I'm sorry, one </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> should or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> could.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One, one should always have the should word is so bad, but okay. To be a virtue, just, just, I think the best way to live is to live with virtue. Which means to have a flourishing life. So you're still going to do things with excellence. You're still going to behave with excellence, whatever that excellence is for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you need to stay with that as your center, as your center point and move with that. Does that make any sense? Why are you quiet? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I like being quiet. No. Totally. I totally agree with that. And it's about also moving forward, not only virtuously, but with integrity. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And and not second <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> guessing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm careful of my heart, so I go forward virtuously. When people come to me with a question, I don't make them feel small in any way. And we, we sort out the answers together and I'm very open when I'm coming to you for help saying these are the things I don't understand, or it was funny.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was going through this this week. These are the things that make me uncomfortable with this code I just wrote, you know, let's talk about it. So I literally show off the warts first, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> whereas I'm just thinking about it. Back in the day when we would have friends over, I would, you know, it was funny noticing people's reactions because we, we all, every family member from El to Allegra, to me, to you, we would what's happening with my voice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know. Oh my God, whoever stepped through that threshold we would do our very best to give them our best, whether it's <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> the best morsel food to the best place to sit in the house, the apartment, whatever in our home to like just giving them our best. And did you notice that some people were uncomfortable with that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because that's not how they lived, you know, like they were like, oh, why did you make all this food? Like, they felt guilty. Right, because that's not how they live and that should have been a good sign for me right there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Maybe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">to me, it was always like, you know, if they were invited into our home, that's certainly, that's a more central area of the onion as it were as a PR uh, for my personality than just talking to somebody on the phone or meeting somebody out in, out in the ether, out in space somewhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's interesting. As we're talking about this, I'm losing my voice,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but regardless of that, I'm still going to do my best. I'm still going to live with my own virtues of preparing the most beautiful meal I'm going to invest my time and <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> create a beautiful cake that requires a lot of investment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm still going to do all these things because that's my virtue. That's my heart. And because I've been hurt or because other people are ugly, I'm not going to change those values. Right. And I think that's the key. And for me, I was still going to have an open heart and dive off the cliff into a relationship because that's, that's how I am.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I don't think I could guard my heart if I tried really, really hard and I have, but I ended up still like, Opening up a jacket, like a, like a flasher, like here I am, you know, in my full glory, you know, because I don't have time to play games. I'm like, this is me. I'm going to love you. And if you're going to be ugly, well, I guess I'm going to get burned, but I'm still gonna go with an open heart.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So do you think I play <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> games? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, I don't. I just think you're more. I don't know what it is. I don't know if its a female male thing. We've talked about this before on our other shows, but I don't know if it's a man woman thing, but I think you're more able to be more deciphering. I can't judge. But you're no, you're not, you're not, you're not playing games, Matt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I know you're not playing games, but you're able to be more. What's the word for it? You can decipher by just looking at someone what the truth is. Whereas I want this beautiful fantasy world and I assume the best in everyone and you will just see everyone as they are. Whereas I see them in their highest capable realm spirituality.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I totally get it. I also think it's because I'm remarkably good at compartmentalization though. So I'm very careful. I'm very careful at what I show as well, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's why you're able to thrive in business. Whereas I, why did he look so unhappy? Oh my God. People went. Yeah. I folks, if you've heard other episodes, you know, I always get fired from jobs because I look unhappy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't look happy, Fawn. And they'll say that over and over again, to push me out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And yet I get, when I quit, we had no idea. And it's because they're not paying attention by the way. Cause I always, I always leave hints. I always make sure that they understand and if they go back and really take a good, hard look, they can sort </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. People don't listen. Remember when we would say we're moving, we're moving to Washington. People are like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when moving day came, and we would tell them every day, or every time we saw them. And thenthey saw us moving, they were so shocked. And so not only shocked, but they were offended.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're like, dude, we've been telling you, well, you know, like people, because people don't take action on what <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> they say. What? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And also though people believe that virtue, the virtuous life that they've chosen to lead is universal. And there are certain virtues, I think that are universal being flipping kind of people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Uh, you know, certain there's certain, certain noughties out there, like, you know, somebody who's filled with rage and always like attacking people, not virtuous. So there are certain universal virtues, but people believe that exactly the way they live is the virtuous life. And it's. You know, you you'd have a hard time arguing that a monk high in the mountains of the Himalayas, isn't living a virtuous life, but that looks nothing like the life I'm living</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. What is happening outside our window? They're so noisy out there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Some kind of a bike thing going on outside today, we live close to one of like two major roads in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> our little, um, so <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> anyway, that's the noise outside guys. Sorry about that. But, so</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we should do a whole show on virtue because that's a, that's a big subject right there. It is. Um, what are the true universal virtues though? Is it the three things. My honesty. Goodness. True, good and beauty. True. Good and beauty. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I mean people, but you can argue for. When I used to play Ultima, which is a computer game.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, they, they went through sacrifice justice valor, and there was like five others that they cared about, which were interesting. And definitely virtues. It's like, what's the greatest virtue and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. For those of you who haven't played Ultima four, the answer is infinity, but God knows why.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So can we, I feel like I want to make this short, you have anything else you want to Daymond? yet, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> please go. Oh my goodness. So not only was Socrates talked to by, by a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> Damon, but, and now we're going to get into some, a little bit more kind of sensitive matter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I want to talk about Gurtis um, Faust, Dr. who sold his soul to the devil. All right. Do tell. This is what this is like medieval style Germanic, but basically this demon, not Damon demon whispers in his ear. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So do you think that's related a Damon and a demon? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, Christians have, have this nasty habit of turning all the gods and spirits and whatever into devils </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we're going to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm going to find out what the etymology of demon is is it's probably </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> coming from, it was perilously close. Right. And it's very negative. And devil is certainly not the good thing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> either. Oh my God. Until you look at a beautiful show, like Lucifer, oh my God. I never thought it was for the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> dabble.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, and there's there again is, is a challenge. Yeah, you can make some <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> interesting philosophical philosophic, arguments back and forth on that, but even </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the nature of good and the nature of evil. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I mean, Lucifer up to my pocket. I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Glad. Goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just it. But I told you, I told you, you talk about Lucifer, but anyways, so at the end of the book, uh, Faust he's he's in hell. He's F'd completely Dr. Faustus. He's like. Done, but in the process of his life, because he sells his soul to the adult devil really early, he goes through a humongous mischievous period where he just messes with people like he messes with the Pope seriously, Dang! And I'm I'm, you know, I'm not trying to paint a value judgment here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not trying to say what Faustus. Did Dr. Faust did was good, bad or indifferent. I don't remember. I just remember he messed with the Pope. Okay. But anyways, but he got wisdom <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> from Mephistopheles and more, I guess importantly, what he did before he died was he set up all of his descendants. He got a whole bunch of money and he set them up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, what do you mean </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to set him up in a bad way or in a good way? Rich. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> see, you know, he, he took care of them. He did something that you might argue as virtuous. You argue is virtuous by setting them up, even though he damned himself to hell for eternity. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> being a virtue, the wondering story, being a virtue doesn't necessarily mean that it equates to success or happiness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It means doing the right thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And did he do right by his descendants? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Money is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> needed. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So it's, it's, it's challenging and it's tricky. So, you know, was he visited by, uh, by, you know, what the Greeks have called that, uh, being visited by a Damon? Cause I mean, you can certainly argue again that Socrates who talked about <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> his personal Damon who talked to him, landed him in a heap of trouble because of course we, you know, that story of Socrates and we know how he ended.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's just tricky. It's just something to ponder and think, think over honestly, and try trying so hard, not to pass a value judgment on it, but it is interesting,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm fairly sure that took us way off topic. No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's not off topic. That was good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Anyways. Eudaimonia is, life is one where I think for me personally, I would think it starts really boiling into A) of course inner Popeye, because that's what everything boils into; really understanding and knowing yourself and then taking it to the next level and trying to understand that your, at least for me, my best self is that where I'm helping others, and part of a eudaimonic life is that feeling that you get from helping others, donating to charity is one of those like very clear-cut I'm helping others <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> without a thought, as far as what I'm going to get, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but see it. Yeah. But it's also without a thought when you're donating to charity. Not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> without a thought though, I'm saying it's what I've thought of what I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> get out of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, I know. I, I understand. But I feel like, like we heard someone talking about their idea of connection is cooking for someone. I'm talking about totally investing and sharing something, that is good and beautiful. That's the way to have true eudaimonia </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I would say on a, in front of me kind of a way, I was just trying to mention that we get that happy feeling from helping others, even when I might be so disconnected from them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Isn't it interesting. Why do we feel so good when we help others? Isn't that really interesting to think about it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Why? Because we're really helping ourselves too, but because we're all one, if you, sorry, I'm going to take it to my hippy-dippy side because we are all interconnected. We're all <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> one. There is no separation. So when you're helping you're creating that bond. The it's, uh, it's about the concentric intersecting circles of energy of love.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know, it feels like you're being too ironically, too logical about the whole thing. What it just feels good to do good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm trying to understand where really, where does that good feeling come from? Like, why is that there? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I just described that as analysis paralysis folks. All right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it can just feel good to feel good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Just feel good. All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Take the hedonist approach once in a while. Just feels good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's do it. All right. Let's just feel. Do it to feel good. There you go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Who cares? But watch your virtue folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. Well, we'll talk to you next time in just a few days. Thank you for listening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're trying to make the shows a little bit shorter. We're hoping you don't listen <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> to double speed. Like I listened to things at double speed, but you do. You're going to be in trouble </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You see, we can't even we have to learn from those. Auctioneer's how they talk really fast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But anyway, thank you for listening guys. Please tell everyone about what we're doing here with the art of friendship. Go to our friendly world.com, please subscribe, ask your friends to subscribe. What are you pointing to Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And you should probably mention that this book big magic is kind of a cool book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I already did. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> used to say it again. Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert. Thank you so much. Thank you for all the guidance and the magic </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is, uh, what would you say? Uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You a man and a woman. You dai monia you're a woman. . Thank you everybody. We'll talk to you soon. Be well, bye bye-bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Eudaimonia is a Greek word, literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit which is commonly translated as happiness or welfare. The closest English word is probably flourish; the word flourishing. Aristotle used it as a broad concept to describe the highest good humans could strive toward or having a life of flourishment. What does it mean to have a virtuous life? How does genius and creativity come into this topic?
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace

Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hi everybody. Hello? Eudaimonia it sounds like, let me say it again. Eudaimonia, 
[00:00:09] Matt: but it's one word.
[00:00:10] Fawn: It's one word. Eudaimonia it sounds like you'd a man. You da man 
[00:00:15] Matt: or the money 
[00:00:16] Fawn: or, there's another pronunciation. Eudaimonia so we have another Greek word for you today, guys.
It's eudaimonia. And Aristotle is joining us today. Again, as much as we can channel Aristotle, our friend to the art of friendship. All right. Eudaimonia is a Greek word, literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit which is commonly translated as happiness or welfare. Okay. The closest English word is probably flourish; the word flourishing. Aristotle used it as a broad concept to describe the highest good humans could strive [00:01:00] toward or having a life of flourishment; a state of wellbeing is what it is. 
 An example of eudaimonia was like it was achieved through being virtuous; living a virtuous life, 
[00:01:16] Matt: but isn't that bigger than that?
[00:01:18] Fawn: So let me just keep going and we can get into it. So virtue is moral excellence to allow something to act in harmony with its purpose. That's interesting. If you think about it with friendship, allowing something to act in harmony with its purpose. So don't put anything on someone don't put anything on the friendship, just allow it to see what its true purpose is.
Maybe this person is not your true friend. What is the purpose of that being in your life? Just look at it objectively. So anyway, let me go on. An example of something virtuous, like having a virtuous life would be an artist or in this case the definition I've ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:35:43</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Awkward Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Nov 2021 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-awkward-friend</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-awkward-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We analyze the true definition of awkward and Fawn explains her own awkwardness, then Matt does also, and then we talk about the geniuses in history who were considered to be awkward and discuss the brilliance and sadness of Turing and how our society can be so cruel to such brilliant people. </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Awkward awkward, awkward, awkward. Hello. Good morning everybody. Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello everyone around the world our beautiful friends. We're talking about awkward today, looking at awkward old Norse, it means turn the wrong way. Middle English, means, backwards perverse clumsy prefers. Yeah. So you add the old Norris with the English to the middle English and you have awkward meaning the wrong way round the wrong way round, upside down. And so let's look at the suffix. Ward W A R D, the English suffix, denoting, spatial, or temporal direction as specified by the initial element.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the elements like toward, seaward, seaward, yes, afterward, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> backward. So again, the definition of awkward: in the wrong direction,turned the wrong way. In the 1530s, that's when it started to mean the wrong way. Here are some definitions: perverse; the archaic means, unfavorable, adverse, adverse. Um, how do you say that adverse or adverse?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think there are two different meanings lacking dexterity or skill as in the use of the hands; lacking social grace and assurance. For example, there's a newcomer, right? They don't know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they don't know your mores, your social mores. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And that's where I want to talk about it. Cause that's usually me. Lacking ease or grace as a moment or expression lacking the right proportions size or harmony of parts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not easy to handle or deal with requiring great skill ingenuity or care. And then <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> looking in the definition of ward, W A R D; cause we were fighting about this I'm like, I don't think it means what you think it means. And we were actually looking at the noun definition and the verb. So the noun and the verb, the noun ward is a separate room and an institution like a hospital or jail or something, or, , an administrative division of a city or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> borough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's like classifying the classification. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Like, yeah, like, yeah, spatial. Okay. Designations, I guess you would call it. And then the verb, ward, is what you were saying is to guard, to protect. That's the archaic definition. Now here's a definition I had never heard of before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So another verb for ward is a...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We analyze the true definition of awkward and Fawn explains her own awkwardness, then Matt does also, and then we talk about the geniuses in history who were considered to be awkward and discuss the brilliance and sadness of Turing and how our society can be so cruel to such brilliant people. 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
[00:00:00] Fawn: Awkward awkward, awkward, awkward. Hello. Good morning everybody. Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello everyone around the world our beautiful friends. We're talking about awkward today, looking at awkward old Norse, it means turn the wrong way. Middle English, means, backwards perverse clumsy prefers. Yeah. So you add the old Norris with the English to the middle English and you have awkward meaning the wrong way round the wrong way round, upside down. And so let's look at the suffix. Ward W A R D, the English suffix, denoting, spatial, or temporal direction as specified by the initial element.
So the elements like toward, seaward, seaward, yes, afterward, [00:01:00] backward. So again, the definition of awkward: in the wrong direction,turned the wrong way. In the 1530s, that's when it started to mean the wrong way. Here are some definitions: perverse; the archaic means, unfavorable, adverse, adverse. Um, how do you say that adverse or adverse?
I think there are two different meanings lacking dexterity or skill as in the use of the hands; lacking social grace and assurance. For example, there's a newcomer, right? They don't know, 
[00:01:36] Matt: they don't know your mores, your social mores. 
[00:01:38] Fawn: Right. And that's where I want to talk about it. Cause that's usually me. Lacking ease or grace as a moment or expression lacking the right proportions size or harmony of parts.
Not easy to handle or deal with requiring great skill ingenuity or care. And then [00:02:00] looking in the definition of ward, W A R D; cause we were fighting about this I'm like, I don't think it means what you think it means. And we were actually looking at the noun definition and the verb. So the noun and the verb, the noun ward is a separate room and an institution like a hospital or jail or something, or, , an administrative division of a city or 
[00:02:24] Matt: borough.
So it's like classifying the classification. 
[00:02:27] Fawn: Yeah. Like, yeah, like, yeah, spatial. Okay. Designations, I guess you would call it. And then the verb, ward, is what you were saying is to guard, to protect. That's the archaic definition. Now here's a definition I had never heard of before.
So another verb for ward is a...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Awkward Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We analyze the true definition of awkward and Fawn explains her own awkwardness, then Matt does also, and then we talk about the geniuses in history who were considered to be awkward and discuss the brilliance and sadness of Turing and how our society can be so cruel to such brilliant people. </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Awkward awkward, awkward, awkward. Hello. Good morning everybody. Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello everyone around the world our beautiful friends. We're talking about awkward today, looking at awkward old Norse, it means turn the wrong way. Middle English, means, backwards perverse clumsy prefers. Yeah. So you add the old Norris with the English to the middle English and you have awkward meaning the wrong way round the wrong way round, upside down. And so let's look at the suffix. Ward W A R D, the English suffix, denoting, spatial, or temporal direction as specified by the initial element.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the elements like toward, seaward, seaward, yes, afterward, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> backward. So again, the definition of awkward: in the wrong direction,turned the wrong way. In the 1530s, that's when it started to mean the wrong way. Here are some definitions: perverse; the archaic means, unfavorable, adverse, adverse. Um, how do you say that adverse or adverse?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think there are two different meanings lacking dexterity or skill as in the use of the hands; lacking social grace and assurance. For example, there's a newcomer, right? They don't know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they don't know your mores, your social mores. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. And that's where I want to talk about it. Cause that's usually me. Lacking ease or grace as a moment or expression lacking the right proportions size or harmony of parts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not easy to handle or deal with requiring great skill ingenuity or care. And then <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> looking in the definition of ward, W A R D; cause we were fighting about this I'm like, I don't think it means what you think it means. And we were actually looking at the noun definition and the verb. So the noun and the verb, the noun ward is a separate room and an institution like a hospital or jail or something, or, , an administrative division of a city or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> borough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's like classifying the classification. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Like, yeah, like, yeah, spatial. Okay. Designations, I guess you would call it. And then the verb, ward, is what you were saying is to guard, to protect. That's the archaic definition. Now here's a definition I had never heard of before.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So another verb for ward is admit to or care for. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Much like Batman and Robin, the character of Robin in the real world was actually Bruce Wayne's ward. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I want to describe <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> to you the awkward friend being me. I have most of the time been the awkward friend because I'm looking at it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it means turn the wrong way. Right. It means backwards. Now I have not been perverse sometimes. Well, sometimes we take </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a look at perverse. We get to a very weird place, but certainly the commonly accepted definition now is Ooh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hectic. Right. But certainly clumsy backwards. Uh, w w what were the other ones </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that, oh my goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you've never been. Quote, unquote, awkward anywhere. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Brace yourself, Matt, because I'm going to get into racial aspects here. Cultural racial issues. All right. So guards up, um, not that you need your guard up, but like, we always tend to get into a little TIFF about this kind of stuff. And I tend to, you say, I tend to take everything to race, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> race issues, but anyway, once again, hello.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, you're beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, but I'm saying I'm not that white Anglo-Saxon person. So anyway, lacking the social grace for instance, right. I remember, oh my God. I used to love ballet when I was a kid. Love that. Oh my God. And somehow we went to this dance studio, my best friend back then it was like third grade, my best friend back then and I were like, yeah, we're going to be great dancers. And we found this by accident, just walking around this dance studio in Santa Monica. And the teacher was so sweet. I'm sure she saw these two cute little girls. We were like, we want to be ballet dancers and she's like, come on in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">She offered us three free classes, so excited. And all we knew of ballet was <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> being on your tip toes, not like tippy toes, but like on the tips of your toes, like points. We didn't realize that that's like a highly advanced state of ballet. And here we are, we got our little soft ballet shoes and everything and our tights and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We went in, we showed up and we immediately got up on our tips, we thought that's how it went. Oh my God was a painful, but we were like, whatever, man, we're going to do it. Yeah. The teacher didn't really say anything at first. She should've said, whoa, I don't know. And I of course have always loved the French language one, probably because.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's considered so chic, but also because Farsi and French sound similar and we use similar words. So it didn't feel so awkward about speaking Farsi. Do you know what I mean? Like completely understand the French culture made me accept my own culture better. Right. In a, in a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> world where it was not accepted in a world where we were looked at as evil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Because we were middle </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Eastern </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or something. Yeah. I completely get it. And the second matrix movie, the Merovingian says that speaking French is like wiping your butt with silk or something like it's super smooth. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. That's horrible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, you meant it's super smooth. And it's a cool thing to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sorry. I totally sorry, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> France. No, I'm just thinking about France. Like our biggest aside from the United States, our biggest fan </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> , I did not mean that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">as a mean thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Now I forgot what I was saying. Okay. So the French, and also because French was involved in ballet, we were like exceptionally, like, even more into it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And we were leaping and we just, we thought we were the best. Right. And then when it came down to the fourth class, my mother pulled me out. We didn't have money for it. And I was so sad. But I felt like I had talent there. So years <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> later, I'm in college</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and I saw they offered ballet while I'm like, well, I have already taken ballet </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> three classes. You might as well say I've mastered. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I did. I felt like I was a master. And so I take ballet II. I'm like ballet one. No, that's for, that's for rookies </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Been there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt. I go in and the teacher comes in and everybody lines up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, it's the military. Like I like what's going on? Why are they so serious? And so I go to the bar. I put my hand on the bar. I'm ready to go. Right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I totally see you. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I'm like, now, I know better. I know. You know, not to get on my tip, tippy tips, you know? And so the music starts and the teacher starts barking her orders, like literally <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> barking orders. And I tried so hard to keep up. It was like a Lucille ball episode. I've had twice in my life, two different things in my life where I've been a total Lucille ball, you know, like it was purely comical. After I think maybe 20 minutes. She stopped the whole thing, came to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She didn't even talk to me. She came to me, grabbed my arm and escorted me out of the class and pointed me out. Like she kicked me out because I was always like 15 steps behind everybody. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Of course I can see that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What do you mean? Of course, whatever. So. AWKWARD </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> mean, you want to talk about people who are like in some Supreme control of their body with the peculiarities of dance, and God knows what muscles they have.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">absolutely. That's ballet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I felt that on the inside, I just needed some time to catch up, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that's what ballet one's for. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thanks, okay. All right, geesh. So anyway, that was one time. That's one example of me being the awkward friend. I have many examples, but I want to say looking back at the, the, for example, the Norse meaning turn the wrong way and all the other meanings, you know, backwards, clumsy, awkward, meaning, I don't know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What were the other ones lacking? I dunno, lacking seeming unfavorable, like really stuck out to me, seeming unfavorable, adverse, lacking social grace and assurance, you know, causing embarrassment either to someone or to yourself, right. Or feeling that way or feeling like you're just in an embarrassing situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Lacking ease is another one that pops out. If you're not Anglo-Saxon. In <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> an American society or some other European societies for me, I'm just saying I completely right. Um, you know, not easy to handle. God. How many times have I heard people? We don't know. We don't know what to do with you, Fawn. We don't know how to handle you. Fawn like, you know, here I am like totally with an open heart and, loving people and they get offended by my mere presence. I never understood it until I had to take a look at what really, where that comes from. And I'm sorry to say this folks, but it comes from. It's a racial thing. I'm sorry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like what else can it be? Because I act the same way as a white Anglo-Saxon person next to me in a yoga class. I, you know, they joke, they say foul things. I don't even do that there. And then yet I'm targeted. If I, if I raise my hand to ask a question, you know, which is a question relating to the topic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not like I'm asking <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> anything off the wall, but it's like, whatever I do. Whatever movements I make is considered awkward, but I, I challenge the thinking that what if let's just use examples of yoga, for example, right? Yoga in a, in a what's the term again? White Anglo-Saxon. Okay. Culture. All right. I step into a white Anglo-Saxon American culture, yoga class, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm awkward. And I'm like, really? And here I am actually sitting there going I'm awkward because you all seem to think these things, these Meridian points that are chakras are shock, shockers. Where in Sanskrit Shakara means cucumber. So here you are taking, you know, major conversations about your cucumbers not being open or your first cucumber, your second cube comer, a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> third cucumber.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, your crown cucumber. You know, it's chakra people, chakra cha cha chakra, chakra means cucumber. So here I am sitting there and they think I'm awkward. They think I don't belong. I'm like fool, look at you, listen to you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but you're attempting to ascribe an absolute to a relative. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What do you mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, social mores are typically a relative thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what I'm saying as opposed to an absolute. Absolutely. If you look at Sanskrit. Chakra means whatever chakra means and Shakara means cucumber. But in the context of the conversation that's being had at the table, chakra means </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't care if you're going to appropriate this culture and then shut me out of it where it's really my culture and shut me out of it and start cucumbery me out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's not wrong. I mean, it's just wrong. You're awkward. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> But that's what I'm saying. It's. What'd you say it's not an absolute right. Purely relative. Well, what I was going to say was if you all not you all, I'm sorry, but like if the Anglo-Saxon community goes into a, a true yoga class in India, you would be awkward.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it really depends where you are, what time period you're in or, you know, it depends. Right. Absolutely being awkward can flip, like flipping a dime. That's what I was trying to say, but actually you, I liked your words better. What'd you say again? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Relativism versus </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">absolutes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Explain more.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, absolutes, you know, there are absolutes, there's absolute truths. There's absolute, you know, rules they're absolute at that just exist. And then there's relative and the relative is all about the context you're in. For example, when I, when I were at lad, , one Thanksgiving, I got invited to, two Thanksgiving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I pigged out at both, but <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> the first Thanksgiving I went to was at my buddy Dale's house. Now Dale was awkward. He was, and we were friends and the whole backward </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What was awkward about him?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, well, for starters, you know, I was like 10 or 11 and he was two years older than me. And we got along like peas and carrots because he was ostracized at his school for being weird for being awkward for being </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what was magical about him?.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We just had a good time. He loved playing video games. Um, and he had a system I didn't have. And then he got super into anime before anime was hip because it's hip now. But this is before this is in the before times. And so we'd watch anime and we'd play video games at his house. He played video games at my house and we got along really great.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he was as white as you can be, but anyways, whole other story, but I went to his house. We had Thanksgiving and. Working class versus I grew up in a middle to upper middle class, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> which is what everybody says. But honestly, I believe that's where we were. We could have been lower up or who knows, but anyways, but his dad and his mom very much working class, his mom worked at Sears.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">His dad owned a, uh, appliance repair business. Very, and that sticks you right in working class. And they had a nice house and everything else. And, but anyways, but what was interesting was they had corn on the cob for Thanksgiving, which, you know, rock on no problem. But unlike my family, where we would pull the, the butter out of the fridge and we would have our little corn cobby things, you know, the little nubs you put on the end and you roll it over it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you know, you melt slowly melt this really cold butter. They left the butter out. They also buttered a piece of bread and they, they, they wrapped the, uh, and they, uh, buttered their corn that way. But it was rancid because that's what happens when you leave stuff out. But that was the rule of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wasn't really rancid. Did you taste it well? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Can you <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> tell if something is rancid? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you tell if milk has gone bad, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you can tell them milk has gone bad people can't determine when a Twinkie has gone bad. Cause supposedly a Twinkie goes bad after two weeks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I'm sorry, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> people say Twinkies will be good for 20 years because they're rancid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then people are used to rancid. I don't eat that well, and there you go. But that's a whole other story, but yes, it must have been because it was always out. I never noticed it before that dinner cause I never really ate there, but I noticed it then. And I noticed that, you know, it was, it was an unusual thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I could have said, oh my God, how can you, what is this? What is going on? And all the rest of it. But instead I just adapted to it and I said, well, this is, these are the rules of the house. So again, relativism versus absolutism, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I remember inviting, , a friend over to our house when I was little in the United States.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And of we, you know, Persian cuisine always <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> has rice and rice. Uh, we used to eat well, it's changed now. And I think because of the experience I had, I think many other Persian people had, but you ate rice with a spoon and you take the fork and you push the rice on the spoon and you eat rice with a spoon usually because it comes with, not necessarily soup. It's not. But it, you know what I mean? Like Persian dishes come with a stew type thing and lots of rice, or like a protein on top of rice. Right. But either way you eat with a spoon and it was after school, little kids, right. Or little kids, it was after school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And after school you were like, so hungry. Right, right. And so. I'm like, come on, let's eat. She's like, yeah, I'm so hungry. So we go to the table, my mother serves, the food and I immediately start eating. And I noticed my friend was just staring and gawking at <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> me. So awkward. I felt so awkward and ashamed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in your own house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Of course, because again, it's the race issue. It's the culture issue where even though she was so hungry, And obviously she'd seen rice before, but it was also awkward for her meaning I was awkward, not she was awkward or I felt awkward, but she was like, what are you doing? Why are you using, why are you eating rice like that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And to this day, I swear to you every time a utensil touches rice, I think of that, you know, awkward. I don't know what I'm trying to say right here. It's just, it can bring back some really painful memories, but again, it depends where you stand. Like for example, can we think of anyone in history that was so awkward, but now is considered hip, you know, like, like when you were talking about your friend, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> Dale, he seemed like he was like ahead of the curve on anime and computer games and all this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">While he was ahead on anime. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And those people now are the moneymakers. They're the, they're the geniuses, like the bill gates and stuff. Right. But like, who's that guy, the man, he was a coder that you talk about, what was his name? From England. And he helped with world war II. Like he actually saved </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Turing</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Because he was gay, like talk about awkward.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right, right. They destroyed this man. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, chemical castration. And then he committed suicide. They </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> destroyed him. Yes. Awkward. Yes. for being awkward. Yes. And now he wouldn't be awkward </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> while he was on a, he was on the, he was on a pound coin. He was later knighted by the queen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> A little too late folks. Well, that's definitely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we still, we still </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> remember him, your eyes get all <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> weepy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He was a flipping genius. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was probably three geniuses. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I just appreciate your compassion for people, but I can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">see in emotional right now, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> one of my things has always been, you know, he postulated this Turing machine and I remember in college learning about the Turing machine and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I came to the conclusion that God is a Turing machine. On some level, because there's infinites running around this thing, like crazy. But, uh, I don't know how I feel about it necessarily today, but when I came to that revelation and then I found out later all this other stuff about Turing, um, yeah. Yeah, it did not make me feel good because I had already elevated him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, in the, before time, before I knew anything else about him, he was already elevated strictly on, you know, the merits of, of the computer stuff. And you don't come down. What's your elevated, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry, honey. It is what it is. I feel bad for bringing things up like that <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> and it really affects you. Um, so who else, anybody else in history?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that was so awkward that is now considered, you know, Oh my God, but people still don't know about Tesla. People think Edison as the hero, most people still don't understand who Tesla was except for the car. They think that's Tesla. Yeah. But exactly you guys Nikola Tesla read, read about him because if you're interested in anything, if you're interested in science, if you're interested in yoga study Tesla.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All my yoga classes when I was teaching yoga were based on my buddy Tesla. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I'm sure there's like thousands, millions of others who just managed to hide, hide in plain sight </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to save their lives. Like otherwise you would have been in Turin Turing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How do you, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> how do you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> spell his name? Touring T U R I N G.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">His first name I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> believe was Allen, but like, think about it the other way. People that were revered are now seen as totally awkward as well. They should, for example, Columbus Christopher Columbus, right. Destroyed, murdered ,was an idiot </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> truth. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. But I don't know. Uh, so it's, uh, it's all relative. Can I say that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. And then there are those awkward people who've gone on to make history as it were like the original Buddha prince GAUTAMA. I mean, he was born a prince and he said nuts to this. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Explain, explain, I don't know who that is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> The Buddha, the man who invented Buddhism </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Siddhartha?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Prince Siddhartha.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was a prince. Gautama coulda Tama Tama, and it'll probably butchering it, sorry, at all, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">our Buddhist fans.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have to figure out how to spell this by transcripts. I don't <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> know how to spell that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyways. No, he was born a prince and his parents kept him away from everything that was bad. They locked him away. And when he finally saw an old person and a sick person, he understood that life was not pleasure it was all pleasure; life was suffering. And then he left and became a beggar and became enlightened and all the rest of it. But you know, to do that, you know, are you mental? Are you stupid? Are you, or are you a Buddha? You know? So it, it cuts the all ways and yeah, it's a delicate, weird thing. And you know, the people, I would honestly say the people who make history are generally awkward.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">True. Because they're seeing the world from a different perspective. And sometimes, and I probably hesitate to say, I probably say most of the time, the world doesn't figure out what they're seeing and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">what is there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They don't recognize the beauty and the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> genius of it, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but it's the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">people who look at something like MySpace and say, we could do better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Those are the people that make history. You know, it's not the people who go along with the crowd. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So you're saying awkward is good</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">. I'm saying, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm saying awkward </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> as awkward. Yeah, it depends. Again, it depends which side of the coin you're on, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, it does very much. Wow. But then again, I, I I've always been awkward.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And one of the first moments where I really understood that I was awkward because I was just living my life, who cares in second grade. Um, yeah, my teacher had this bold plan contacted a second grade teacher from another school. And we became pen pals with their class. And I guess the numbers basically matched out cause they matched kind of boys with boys, girls with girls, life was simple, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I was all excited. I wrote my little letter. I didn't know who I was going to get paired up with. So, you know, you just kind of write about who you are <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> and teachers probably read all these letters and they figured out how to match people up based upon what they said. Right? Hm. I was matched up with someone I had nothing in common with, and I don't know why we got matched up. I get the feeling I was just late to the party or I just wasn't an easy match. And neither was this other person. We were both awkward. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, you had that in common, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but that's where I started to understand. Maybe that I saw the world a little </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">differently.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Isn't that interesting. We, we do realize that early on, it's hard to be totally </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> told. Cause I was very, you were told no, when I read this, when I read this note and this, this kid is talking about nunchucks and, and I was like, I don't know anything about nunchucks. I didn't write about nunchucks and martial arts and whatever else you wrote about, I really remember the nunchucks because that was the first time I think I might've come in contact with that word for goodness sake.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So there's something good to be <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> said about being in a structured society where you're so set apart from one another, because that's when you can realize, wow, I have genius with me because I'm not like this. I'm not like that. Do you know what I mean? I remember it was, I think it was fourth grade. It was fourth grade and we were given this assignment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The whole class had to follow directions and the teacher said. My wife had a hollow directions. I know this is where it comes from. I think this is when I first realized it. This is when I realized awkward, because first of all guys listening, I cannot follow </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> directions. No, she can't. I have to sometimes translate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> always has to translate. And the funniest thing is our, our girls have to translate what. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Pushed to the side on that and the girls do it now. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> mean, thank God. They don't quite totally think like I do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They don't even know God. They're like way over there to me. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> It's like all say it's, it's about 10 o'clock and they're like, no, dad, it's 9 57.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They're just very precise. But that's not what I'm talking about. They can understand on many levels, whereas I'm like, what is this? What is this and what is it telling me? I don't understand it. You have to translate like, like a simple recipe. Like we have so many, I've talked about this before guys. Sorry, but you know, we have a huge wall of a huge library in our kitchen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Of just the most beautiful cookbooks from around the world. Right. And I have a cookbook fetish. I have a book fetish, first of all, but like, I can't get enough of books. And even though we're vegan, I have, I can't get enough cookbooks. Like, I love them so much, but I cannot follow what they're saying I just do my own thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I, I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> read cookbooks, like people read romance novels. Right. I get the feel for it. And I'm like, oh yeah. And I'm going to do that. And I do it my own way. You know, I don't follow the directions, but I end up making some. That's my own take on it based on the recipe that I'm seeing, but I cannot follow directions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyway, going back to following directions, when I first realized how awkward I was with directions, I thought I was fine. And we were doing this art project where we were folding a piece of paper a certain way. Right. And the teacher's like, okay, everybody's, step-by-step everybody look at me and follow directions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I just told myself I'm good at following directions. So I'm just going to look down, listen to her and just fold as she speaks. So I didn't look at her. Right? Oh my gosh. And it was something simple. It was a really simple thing. I don't remember exactly what it was. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> But I still remember the shock I felt when we were done. Right. Everybody in class had a simple, let's say square and I had something unrecognizable and I could swear to you, I followed precisely the directions. Right. I'm sure you did. And so that's me, man. That's total me being awkward. Like I can't, you know, I just think differently. I understand things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not the way you understand them. Right. And I need help. So now I'm like, guys, this is what I heard. Is this what you heard? Is this how you do it? I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And that's just, it, I think there are moments in time where we all need help. I remember I had this origami a day calendar. Oh my God. And they're like, oh yes, it's very simple.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's a valley fold and a mountain fold. And there you go. Those are the two types of folds. And I was like, cool. Oh my Lord every day, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> it was like a new adventure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's a different animal. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, no one was following an instruction and oh my God ran into nothing but heaps of trouble every day. But, uh, and, and didn't actually get any better as I did them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not like they started with really simple things and moved on. It was like something different every day in the summer. Some of them are super </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hard and some of them weren't, you're not going to steal my thunder about following directions. Okay. Origami, origami. There's no, you are. You can follow directions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, that's why you do well at work and that's why you, you, you do well. You make me sound like a sheep. No, you're not, you're a leader, but you can understand what is being said. You understand what is going out in the world? How many times a day do you hear me say what happened? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, what happened? I don't understand what, what all day, every day. That's I feel, I feel I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> can hear myself. What, what happened and why. What that's me, but you know, that's also how we came about the art of friendship. Cause I'm like, are you serious? Like looking at our society going, are you kidding me?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is for real. I don't understand. So there you have it. I mean, thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So I just hope the world catches up with me a little bit with us. Right, right, right. Friends out there. I mean, come on what we're striving for here saying that the art of friendship is really key to everything, to social, economic, racial divides. Really. If we were all friends, if we were all supporting one, another, none of that would be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">None. None of those things would be a problem because when we support each other awkwardness or not, when <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> we realize our potential, when we realized the geniuses that are amongst us, we are able to really stick together and thrive abundantly with money. Like we support each other. Right. So there is no divide.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There there's no racial issues because we respect that genius, that difference; the many sides of wrong way, right way that is in the definition of awkward and social issues. We're able to handle them. We're able to fix them. We're able to make things beautiful in our society. If we can just revel in the awkwardness, respect the awkward, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> respect, the awkwardness, and, you know, always look to, and this is going to sound maybe a little bad, but always look to the social mores of the situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then also realize when somebody is quote, unquote awkward, don't put your hectic hat on, put your curious hat on, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right? Like, wow. How interesting. Before you open your mouth and make a weird face and go, what are you doing? Why are you eating like that with a spoon? Do you know what I mean </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in your own home?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I still can't believe that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that happens to us even now</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> bad. guest</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> how many times have we had a friend come over and just because they sense something different in cooking, you know, they, there's a scent from the kitchen. That is not fried chicken or something. And you're like, oh, you're making Curry. Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because they smell something that is not the normal white Anglo-Saxon American </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> cooking, something that, you know, you're your humble, uh, host had to learn as well. What did you make me for our first </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> dinner? No, I think that, that, that, that was different. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That was me being, that was me being awkward. Then being a bad guest, hungry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> being a bad guest. Okay. So here's what happened when we were dating. I said, well, let's just stay. Let's go to my studio. And like, uh, I'll make us something to eat. And back then I was like dirt, poor guys, like honestly, like my budget for food overall. That means any food you, I would get from the store or if I would get anything to eat from anywhere overall, my entire budget on a good, in a good, in a good time was $20 a week.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. That means all the meals. Liquid, whatever, anything. And so, um, I would have lots of lentils and so I, I would make these beautiful lentil soups. Well, I thought they were beautiful. So anyway, I'm like, okay, I'll cook. And so Matt, I think, was feeling all romantic and he <span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> thought, oh my God, she's going to cook for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think you maybe now that I think about it, I imagined because based on what I said, like, oh, I'll make dinner. I think I said, Even though it wasn't really dinnertime, whatever I digress, but I think you imagined a candle lit dinner with silverware and tablecloth and like a three-course meal, you know, with a special, sexy dessert or something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I had you sit in a chair and then I gave you a bowl of lentils and you looked so angry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, okay. You looked so disappointed. Here we go. I, not that I should talk about this on the show, but I didn't look </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> like a child that was about to have a tantrum. I had a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> previous girlfriend and when she made me dinner, it was Hawaiian, short ribs, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now, how many, how many times do you think I had had the lentils when you serve me? I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> don't know, I I'm, I'm Persian. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> on no <span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> hands. The number of times that I had had lentils, that was your first lentil soup. That was the first time I'd ever had lentils period, soup or otherwise.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So now </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that you're vegan, you understand the beauty of lentils, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I didn't think I actually gave anything away, by the way. That's the worst part. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You, you I'm, like I said, I thought, oh my God, he's going to pick up the chair, get on the ground and start stomping. Like a kid. Does, you know, like a tantrum, like I totally was in shock. I'm like, what is your problem, folks?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No one, I felt bad. I'm like, oh my God, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you're the host. Hosts shouldn't feel. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome to my world. I always feel bad because I'm always like looked at, do you know what I mean? I'm always perplexed. How can I not feel bad? Right. If I'm always in a what's the word perplexing situation, perplexed situation, perplexing <span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And because I'm not white, Anglo-Saxon. I always feel that way. I feel like everything is my fault because that's what we're told. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, and you're also an HSP, so highly sensitive person. That's a psychology today term. I found out one of my favorite singers is HSP too </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well. I'm working on that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I don't know if you should or shouldn't.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you should. It can make you sick being highly sensitive and hello. How many times do I have you heard me say I can't go out. I don't want to go out there. I feel raw, right. Or, you know, walking in the grocery store and I can pick up someone else's feeling from an aisle away. Like it's, it's, it's too much, but I'm learning how to protect, um, learning how to ward that off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you will. So anyway then that's, that's pretty much what I have to say about awkward. I mean, I can go on all day, cause I'm probably the most awkward <span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:00]</span> person. Well, maybe not. Cause I'm not like a super, I don't know, techie genius. Well, or maybe I am, but not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> tech. It's the people who see things a little different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, didn't, wasn't that Apple's campaign slogan thing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They say that, but when you think different, you get ostracized. So let's stop the hardware. I don't know. Let's just stop it. Stop it. Stop the, uh, what's the word authorization, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Austra to the ad. Nevermind. Stop. Stop ostracizing people become more accepting, become more curious and have more fun.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Frankly. Actually our friends that are listening are already that way. I just wish the rest of the world would catch up already. Anything you want to add? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. Well, that's it for today I hold onto </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> your curiosity folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Our meanderings awkward is good. We're we're we're on a roll. We did the weird friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now we have the awkward <span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:00]</span> friend. Anyway, we. And we love you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for showing us all the love. We appreciate you so much. Tell other people about the podcast. Please tell them to subscribe um, and that's it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's it for today. We'll talk to you in a few days. Take care everybody. Be well. Bye bye.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we go, we have to explain. I just realized we didn't really explain who Turing was. Can you explain please his genius and who he really was? He deserves that.</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Turing was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the man let's just stop full stop. Almost. He was British. During world war two, he worked to crack the enigma code, which was what the Germans were using to communicate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he brought up. It was actually the second person to break it, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he was a coder. He was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a computer. He was a computer. He was a computer guy before computers existed. Wow. So hyper logical probably. I don't know. But basically the Poles came by and they cracked it initially. And then they changed it all up in Germany and they couldn't crack it anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then Turing came in and he cracked it and he cracked it from 42 to 45 and they read every single message the Germans were sending. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't understand what you just said. What's 42 to 45, 19 </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> 42 to 1945. This was world war II folks. And then after that, he started doing computer work, uh, artificial intelligence.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He created what's called the Turing test, which is the benchmark for determining whether or not how good your artificial intelligence is. And it's basically where it gets weird. Is it all sounds so simple now, but he was the guy who came up with it and the Turing test is , if you're on a microphone with it, can you tell it's not human. In a nutshell, that's the Turing test.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He hypothesizes Turing machine, which is the ultimate computer. What did he </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> do for a living like there weren't computers in existence back then. So how </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you ended up working kind of for big gov. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What was his profession like? How did he end up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">coding?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He probably was a mechanical engineer. Uh, cause literally a big component to the enigma machine was the actual physical device.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And people were just getting into, you know, God, people were just getting into electricity and the things, electrical circuits and things could even do when he </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">was in it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">He's responsible for saving countless lives during World War II. He saved lives.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, yeah, because if you decode the message, you know, where the Germans are going to be or not be, you're going to know what the Germans are interested in or not interested in. So, you know, you prioritize, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> tell us more about him please. What happened </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> as far as, so he did this, he did all this cool stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He got, he got commended by the crown, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And then they found out. And it's tragedy. I, you know, it's, it's, it's even hard to talk about it, but they found out he was homosexual. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So because he was gay, they destroyed him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They said he's a security risk that way, because he </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> gay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. Gosh, because he was awkward because he was deviant because he was something that they can't be comfortable designating. Yes. And he ended up committing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They, you said they castrated </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> him. Yes. I believe they chemically castrated him. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You believe? Or did they well, so they did all this messed up stuff to this beautiful </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They gave him hormone therapy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is a fact </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to change him, like to change his sexual orientation, like what, who did this, the government. And this was during a point of same government he saved. Yes. Wow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. And, and that's just it. Um, yeah. Wow. Wow, indeed. So this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is why this is so important to recognize what we consider awkward in our society and truly have respect and compassion and understanding and understanding what was the last thing you said instead of judging, ask questions, be curious, be curious and loving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Anything else you want to say aboutTuring? Turing was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the man there's so few true pioneers and maybe they were awkward. I mean, you take a look at the first computer programmer, ADA Lovelace. She was a, she was a girl awkward, but brilliant. Right. Be curious, be loving and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we're all awkward. All right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Talk to you. That's it for real, right? Yes. No more interruptions. All right. Go about your day. Have fun. Be well, bye guys.</span></span></p>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We analyze the true definition of awkward and Fawn explains her own awkwardness, then Matt does also, and then we talk about the geniuses in history who were considered to be awkward and discuss the brilliance and sadness of Turing and how our society can be so cruel to such brilliant people. 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
[00:00:00] Fawn: Awkward awkward, awkward, awkward. Hello. Good morning everybody. Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello everyone around the world our beautiful friends. We're talking about awkward today, looking at awkward old Norse, it means turn the wrong way. Middle English, means, backwards perverse clumsy prefers. Yeah. So you add the old Norris with the English to the middle English and you have awkward meaning the wrong way round the wrong way round, upside down. And so let's look at the suffix. Ward W A R D, the English suffix, denoting, spatial, or temporal direction as specified by the initial element.
So the elements like toward, seaward, seaward, yes, afterward, [00:01:00] backward. So again, the definition of awkward: in the wrong direction,turned the wrong way. In the 1530s, that's when it started to mean the wrong way. Here are some definitions: perverse; the archaic means, unfavorable, adverse, adverse. Um, how do you say that adverse or adverse?
I think there are two different meanings lacking dexterity or skill as in the use of the hands; lacking social grace and assurance. For example, there's a newcomer, right? They don't know, 
[00:01:36] Matt: they don't know your mores, your social mores. 
[00:01:38] Fawn: Right. And that's where I want to talk about it. Cause that's usually me. Lacking ease or grace as a moment or expression lacking the right proportions size or harmony of parts.
Not easy to handle or deal with requiring great skill ingenuity or care. And then [00:02:00] looking in the definition of ward, W A R D; cause we were fighting about this I'm like, I don't think it means what you think it means. And we were actually looking at the noun definition and the verb. So the noun and the verb, the noun ward is a separate room and an institution like a hospital or jail or something, or, , an administrative division of a city or 
[00:02:24] Matt: borough.
So it's like classifying the classification. 
[00:02:27] Fawn: Yeah. Like, yeah, like, yeah, spatial. Okay. Designations, I guess you would call it. And then the verb, ward, is what you were saying is to guard, to protect. That's the archaic definition. Now here's a definition I had never heard of before.
So another verb for ward is a...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:44:37</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Weird Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Nov 2021 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-weird-friend</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-weird-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Weird is not what you think it is. The word "weird" is normally defined as <br />strange peculiar disturbingly, different, or odd, right? No, this is not what this is. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">This episode is about the real meaning of "weird" and the power to control destiny, and the people that are our destiny and what becomes a magical fate.<br /><br />We get into history and mythology and discuss "Weird Sisters", The NORNS, the three fates, the goddesses who controlled human destiny.<br /><br />Who is in your life? who are these people? And are they an external force? Are they an internal force? Are they people that you meet along the way? Are they your friends? How does, how is your fate tied up in friendship? How does destiny work in this realm?<br /><br /><br />If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace<br /></span></p>
<p align="left"><br /><br /></p>
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<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Weird Friend - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hello. Hi everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome. And hello. Once again, the weird friend today's topic, the weird friend. Now don't freak out. I'm not disrespecting anybody, we're looking at the word weird and looking at the weird friends in our lives. Now it's not what you think. We're going to look at the adjective and at the etymology of weird </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Weird is not what you think it is. Or maybe you do</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">strange peculiar disturbingly, different odd, right? No, this is not what this is. What you're looking for, this is not the droids. What are, what is it I'm looking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for? Yeah, this is not your father's. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the adjective comes from late middle English it <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> originally meant having the power to control destiny.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Then it became this, an earthy thing. It was a late millet. I can't talk today, late middle English originally meant having the power to control destiny. And it was used, especially in the " Weird Sisters" originally referring, to the fates later, the witches in shakespeare's Macbeth. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I think , that, that highlights just the Bard because there can only be one. And he's the guy, his, casting a shadow over overall, because he is regarded as the greatest fiction author of all time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You mean Shakespeare or what I say? Well, he just said he, or Lord, or Lord Byron, whoever, whatever your belief is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">There are lots of people that believe it wasn't actually Shakespeare, but it was Byron </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span></span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Weird is not what you think it is. The word "weird" is normally defined as strange peculiar disturbingly, different, or odd, right? No, this is not what this is. 
This episode is about the real meaning of "weird" and the power to control destiny, and the people that are our destiny and what becomes a magical fate.We get into history and mythology and discuss "Weird Sisters", The NORNS, the three fates, the goddesses who controlled human destiny.Who is in your life? who are these people? And are they an external force? Are they an internal force? Are they people that you meet along the way? Are they your friends? How does, how is your fate tied up in friendship? How does destiny work in this realm?If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace


The Weird Friend - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: hello. Hi everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome. And hello. Once again, the weird friend today's topic, the weird friend. Now don't freak out. I'm not disrespecting anybody, we're looking at the word weird and looking at the weird friends in our lives. Now it's not what you think. We're going to look at the adjective and at the etymology of weird 
 Weird is not what you think it is. Or maybe you do
strange peculiar disturbingly, different odd, right? No, this is not what this is. What you're looking for, this is not the droids. What are, what is it I'm looking 
[00:00:51] Matt: for? Yeah, this is not your father's. 
[00:00:56] Fawn: So the adjective comes from late middle English it [00:01:00] originally meant having the power to control destiny.
 Then it became this, an earthy thing. It was a late millet. I can't talk today, late middle English originally meant having the power to control destiny. And it was used, especially in the " Weird Sisters" originally referring, to the fates later, the witches in shakespeare's Macbeth. 
[00:01:27] Matt: And I think , that, that highlights just the Bard because there can only be one. And he's the guy, his, casting a shadow over overall, because he is regarded as the greatest fiction author of all time. 
[00:01:42] Fawn: You mean Shakespeare or what I say? Well, he just said he, or Lord, or Lord Byron, whoever, whatever your belief is.
 There are lots of people that believe it wasn't actually Shakespeare, but it was Byron 
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                    <![CDATA[The Weird Friend]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Weird is not what you think it is. The word "weird" is normally defined as <br />strange peculiar disturbingly, different, or odd, right? No, this is not what this is. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">This episode is about the real meaning of "weird" and the power to control destiny, and the people that are our destiny and what becomes a magical fate.<br /><br />We get into history and mythology and discuss "Weird Sisters", The NORNS, the three fates, the goddesses who controlled human destiny.<br /><br />Who is in your life? who are these people? And are they an external force? Are they an internal force? Are they people that you meet along the way? Are they your friends? How does, how is your fate tied up in friendship? How does destiny work in this realm?<br /><br /><br />If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace<br /></span></p>
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<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Weird Friend - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hello. Hi everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome. And hello. Once again, the weird friend today's topic, the weird friend. Now don't freak out. I'm not disrespecting anybody, we're looking at the word weird and looking at the weird friends in our lives. Now it's not what you think. We're going to look at the adjective and at the etymology of weird </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Weird is not what you think it is. Or maybe you do</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">strange peculiar disturbingly, different odd, right? No, this is not what this is. What you're looking for, this is not the droids. What are, what is it I'm looking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for? Yeah, this is not your father's. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So the adjective comes from late middle English it <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> originally meant having the power to control destiny.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Then it became this, an earthy thing. It was a late millet. I can't talk today, late middle English originally meant having the power to control destiny. And it was used, especially in the " Weird Sisters" originally referring, to the fates later, the witches in shakespeare's Macbeth. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I think , that, that highlights just the Bard because there can only be one. And he's the guy, his, casting a shadow over overall, because he is regarded as the greatest fiction author of all time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You mean Shakespeare or what I say? Well, he just said he, or Lord, or Lord Byron, whoever, whatever your belief is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">There are lots of people that believe it wasn't actually Shakespeare, but it was Byron </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> whoever that guy was, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> maybe it was a woman point. So <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> weird circa 14 hundreds. Right, right. I'm assuming when you, when you read stuff and it says circle 1400, it's. It's AD. Is it AD? Or are we an AD or BC? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Our kids are like, there's like CE and stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Things keep changing all these, you know what I blame you, you and the acronyms and like all these letters and things, just whatever. So a long time ago </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in a galaxy far, far </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> away, uh it's it's so weird means having power to control fate. And it goes from old English to Saxon. Is it the same as ISACs and the same as old English?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not all right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my God. I'm not, I'm not a British historian. I watched far too much British TV and there's like the Anglos. There's the Saxons. There's the Anglo-Saxons there's the Scotts there's. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> I mean, it's all over the place. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have a half page of notes of where weird came from, from all these different cultures from all these different societies in the past.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. And I don't want to get into every single one because I'll fall asleep myself. So I'll just say, I'll just say, they all say the same thing about weird. And so I'll just, I highlighted some of my notes. This is the meaning that came up for all of these cultures. Can I say cultures, right? Is it cultures?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're probably safe saying that. Yes. Right. So fate chance, fortune destiny literally means that which comes, to turn, to wind to become, to turn to bend. What came up a lot was turning, becoming. And then the sense is uncanny supernatural developed from middle English use <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> of "Weird Sisters".</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now then"Weird Sisters" is, the three fates or NORNS the three fates or Norns from the no, no, no, no. Before that big, it comes from the Germanic mythology. The NORNS the three sisters, the three fates, it's the goddesses who controlled human destiny. They were portrayed later as frightening or odd in appearance in Macbeth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">That's where it became a little bit, like the more towards the weird that we think of as weird. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, because they described also as witches. Right, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right. Just like the three NORNS. Right. But isn't it interesting how you take anything good that women do, and then you turn them into evil, like even witch, a, witch is someone like an apothecary kind of a person, like a person who works with herbs, who is a healer, you know, who works in <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> the ethereal realm, who's an herbalist and they became these ugly green wort covered pointy hatted, evil women.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You know, it's interesting once again, how women are put down in society century upon century. Right. So they became frightening in appearance. Like in Macbeth, especially in the 18th and 19th century productions of it, of Macbeth, which led to the, how do you pronounce this word?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Adjectival adjectival meaning the adjective basically, uh, of odd, odd looking uncanny, like around 1815, and then, around 18, 20 weird was associated with odd, strange disturbingly different. So from 1820 on that's when weird, shifted </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> uncomfortable, how they put, uh, disturbing and different, like, because you are <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> different, it must by definition be disturbing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's kind of uncomfortable. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? Exactly. And, and that's the problem we have right now with cultures with different races, you know, with people. Yeah. Who've been in history like Hitler, be afraid of whatever is different. They're evil. Right, right. That's not what I'm saying, but that's what they said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's, let's make it clear. So I didn't know what a NORN was. The three NORNS what NORNS</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">means in Norse mythology. It means smart people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, that's interesting. Cause there was only three of them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I think the archetype was the three, the three women.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And you, you taught me this. So there were three, three where they witches. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, let's be careful because that also then stems from the Greek and the Greek tradition and the Norse tradition are different. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You were talking about the nor the NORNS <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> oh, this is going too slow. The </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> NORNS were three women and they represented an understanding of the past, the present and the future.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you told me one spun thread now we're in Greek. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's Greek. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's Greek. Oh, it's good. So do you want to explain the three? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So it's Norris mythology is a weird critter and I love mythology by the way. So sorry. I digress, but the NORNS bear a remarkable similarity to what the Greeks described as the fates and the fates described by Homer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think they ended up spinning their way into plays, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. The Greeks throw all the pageantry on it. I think the Norns tend to streamline and keep things simple and yet very confusing. Whereas the Greeks build a, a whole mythology around it because there, there are three sisters and yes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. So fine in the NORNS, in the NORNS they're past, present and future. Okay, cool. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> I think I can work with that. But then in Greek mythology, it's like, well, okay, so one like spins thread. Okay, fine. But a thread is a life. The second one measures the threads. So the longer the thread, I guess, the longer you live and the last one cuts the thread.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that dictates that's the absolute limit to how long you're going to live, I believe so. Wow. That's kind of a, and so I have to assume. I wouldn't go talk to these people who can measure out my life and cut it short because if I piss them off </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> well, it's interesting because your or you, or they are assuming this is an external force where I see it as an internal force.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, um, oh, I'm forgetting the name for it, but it's a life force. It's a, , it's a cell, it's a molecular thing that if you have enough life force in you, and you can change it by breath work <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> in yoga, but it's kind of like, um, it's a biology thing where it's, it's compared to, it's similar to, if you have shoelaces, you know, the, the plastic part at the end of the shoelace that keeps it from getting out of control or the threads coming out, that plasticy tip, it's referred to as something like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can change that. But if you don't put intention upon it, if you don't have proper life force in you, that that gets smaller and smaller much like the threads. And that is actually what determines how long your lifespan is that if you have enough life force in you and you can change it, by the way; that part of the shoelace thingy, the longer it gets the longer your lifespan gets. So I don't know. You can think of these three women as an external force or an internal one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Gotcha. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> But anyways, let's spin this back. My goodness. We are, it feels like we're very much </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> off time. Well, don't we always go roundabout, but it's all related.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We'll bring it back. Don't worry folks. I wonder how many people, how many of you are listening on double speed? I wonder sometimes I know we talk a little slow, cause I know when I listened to podcasts, I'm on double speed. And if I could coach go triple, I would go triple. So if I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> talk really fast, so I have no idea what I'm talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So go ahead. Go ahead. Come on. I don't want people to go on second speed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Go. I totally get it. So how do we, how do we, how do we deal with, how does this tie into friendship? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Okay. So you want to get into friendships tight, tight </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> around baby. Oh my goodness. So who are these people? And are they an external force? Are they an internal force? Are they people that you meet along the way? Are they your friends? How does, how is your fate get tied up in friendship? I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> have so many examples and some are friends and some are people I never <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> saw. Their faces are enemies and some are enemies, but in the end, they're all friends. Oh dear. Well, I've had lots of enemies who put me on the right path.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then I started tripping out on it, thinking, wow, maybe on another realm, we made a contract with one another for this person to be a total jerk to me, for me to experience what I experienced, like they showed, they were kind enough to show their UGLY. But in fact, perhaps on a spiritual level, we are friends and they agreed to meet me on this path to have a certain experience occur.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wow. You never thought about that? I haven't thought about that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes I was a kid, I think about things like that, but I don't think about things as far as like, we plan this all out, you know, somebody might just be having a bad day or somebody might be, I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> everything is planned out. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> believe in a certain, I like to hold onto a certain sense of a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> lack of maliciousness in most people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it, but that's just what I'm saying though. If you step far, far away from it, nothing is malicious. There's no good or bad. We've talked about this before. Is it good? Is it bad? Don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> certainly have, but Matt just gave me a crazy, like, by the way eyebrowse up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and down scenarios where I can't see any good happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So there you go. So anyways, where are we going? So give us an example of somebody. Oh, do you want me to start affected your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> fate? Someone who changed my destiny? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> A weird person who affected your fate? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> A weird friend. All right. Let's call him a friend. Well, I mean the first person I can think of, I've already talked about on this show, two people I have talked about on this show you know, I had to go back to the beginning, like the youngest I can remember a friend changing my path. It feels weird because I don't want to talk about the first one and have that be like, okay, this was the most important one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm just remembering the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> first. When I can remember as a child. I've talked about her before. She was called the witch. When I was in first grade. I attended first grade in two different countries. I was in the middle east. It was a scary time, like there was revolution about to happen. Things were bad, but it wasn't bad yet. It was bad from the perspective of the forseers who are noticing what's happening politically. Anyway. So I stopped talking. I wouldn't speak and it was first grade.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was just quiet and we had come from the United States. So we were known as the Americans, I was known as the American. So in first grade, in the middle east, it was just weird. It was scary. And I was on my own because of course you all know the story, my family wasn't very, um, involved or caring.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So like I did everything on my own. I like checked myself into school. Like maybe the parents. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> Um, yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I can just see you, like walking up, taking a look there's the school. And there's like the big doors and you go in the office and you're like, I'm ready for school. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And they were like, what are you doing here?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We tore up your records because I was American. They weren't. Oh, no, America was great. Oh my God. When I came in LA I had the best teacher. I was thinking </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in the positive way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I'm just referring to the trauma, like I had to go. And it was a totally different regime that was starting. And I was in an English school like English, like UK and things were changing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So they were, it was just weird and uncomfortable. And also uncomfortable enough when you go from one country to another like major culture shock. So here I am. There was this one girl who was referred to as the witch. She was very, very, very skinny and her skin was almost translucent. So you could see her veins, especially in her hands, like her hands look like she was a hundred years old <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> and they made fun of her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I was very spunky. I don't know if I've talked to you guys about the guy I beat up. During recess because he would not keep his hands off me. I mean, we're in first grade he would kiss me and it was like getting kissed by a St. Bernard with all the slobber on your face.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it would happen in class. And I would raise my hand and tell the teacher and the teacher would say, oh, that's so cute. And I remember looking at her, cause I had complained a few times and her response was always the same: "oh, how cute. "And I remember it was in the middle of class. I raised my hand. I said, I need him off of me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't want to sit next to him. And he keeps kissing me. I don't want that. And so the whole class heard it and she was like, oh, that's so cute. And I remember slowly putting my hand down and just staring at her. And that's when I started scaring myself. Cause I was like, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> okay, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And come recess. I pummeled this kid. but anyway, so it was that kind of, oh, how did I end up talking about this? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know. You were talking about your friend. Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay. Oh yeah. I didn't take any guff from anybody. Like I tried to obey the rules, but if I wasn't helped, I took matters into my own hands.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So there's this girl who was called the witch. I don't recall her speaking either. I was new to school we became friends. We spotted each other from across the school yard. We locked arms. I talk about this all the time and we would walk arm in arm and it was like the red sea parting of all the bullies and all these stupid kids who said horrible things to her about her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And no one, no one bothered us, nobody. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> And I, and I, I like to think because they knew I would, I would, I would, I would beat them up and I was tiny myself. Like we were, I wasn't skinny like her, but I was small. You know what I mean? Like a petite little girl, but, um, we were a force to be reckoned with man.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so she, she provided destiny for me because now that I think about it all these years later, Whenever I talk about friendship and the true feeling of it. I think of her and I think about us locking arms and walking, going on strolls through the yard, at recess and lunchtime and before school and that bond, that I've felt that, that sense of security, that sense of power that you have with a friend that for me, was one of the weird friend moments, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because it, it was truly magical. It was truly, if you think about it, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> fortunate destiny filled because now that's all I talk about. That's my whole mission is the friendship, the bond. And I always go back to her. So she was one she's one of my weird friends. But I have a list. I have a huge list of people. Why don't you go next?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So mine aren't nearly as quote unquote mystical, but, uh, yeah, one of them was actually one of my teachers, in high school. She is the one who mentioned what then became the college and the university ended up attending. And it's bizarre because, sometimes people just ACE in an, in and out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then this was the second class I had had with her. And I was finally like, I had a class with her in ninth grade and then class with her in like 12th grade, which is both ends of , high school. And actually, yeah, it was probably, 12th grade. She knew me by the time she had me the second time, like she knew who I was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she mentioned again, she mentioned the college I ended up going to, and she mentioned this as being a good <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> school and then something we should look into and the whole bit, and it almost felt like she was addressing me personally because I'm the only student from my grade who went to that school because it was like eight hours away, et cetera, et cetera, but, go banana slugs.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, but what's so interesting then about this whole, sometimes people just kind of lands in and out is literally two years later. No, I think it was three years later. The younger brother of, one of my friends in high school, I graduated from, from high school and I went to his graduation ceremony cause I knew him and you know, that's cool.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I ran into her again. I ran into that teacher didn't even remember me. It was a weird world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Completely obviously changed the trajectory, certainly, the university you go to certainly puts you in an interesting place. That's right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right. Well, if you're going to talk teachers, I have, I have two teachers. I have like maybe three actually, but I'll talk about two similar time period.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For me it was high school. Did you have school counselors that were therapists <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> like psychologists or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> psychotherapists? Not that I ever talked to her, but I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> think mine was Ms. MacLennan. I don't remember exactly, but she saved my life because I was having trouble. Of course, like you all know with my family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One day I showed up to school and I couldn't stop crying. I had clutched every bit of any photography project, equipment I had purchased on my own. I was clutching onto them because it was just kind of like a violent night before with family. And I was told you turn in every photography, anything you have, you're never to do photography, you're not allowed to work. You're just going to go to school and come home . That's it like after a violent night, like me not violent, them being violent. It was horrible. Right. But anyway, so, um, I just pulled all my stuff together and I was always working from even before the legal age of <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> working.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was always like an entrepreneur and I was trying to save money actually for college, for myself, even at age 11. And so everything that I had acquired on my own, I just grabbed and I went to school and I, and then I just broke down into tears and I couldn't stop crying. And, um, wow, sorry. She's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> getting emotional.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what happened was somehow I ended up in the office before school and I guess all the teachers noticed. So what made me go to the office? I don't know. I don't remember what, um, and our school was really strict. In LA we had lockdowns. We we're not allowed in between classes to be walking anywhere. You would be in big trouble if you were caught without a hall pass.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Did you have that? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We were, we were a closed campus, so yeah. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> again, so like nobody was allowed to walk freely anywhere. You had to have either someone like a teacher with you or <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> you had to have a pass. And I remember that day, all the teachers let me wander around campus. Like nobody like said boo, me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I remember going to the bleachers and crying. I was like crying the whole time. I was just like walking around and I remember one of my favorite teachers back then, the photography teacher. It was like, he that's the day he became a jerk to me. Cause I went to him. To talk. Right. And he's like, I don't know what to do with you fawn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm like, I looked at him, I'm like, wow, I guess I know that I know where you stand. Thanks. Right. And I really looked up to him. And so the two teachers that totally ended up changing my destiny or putting me on the path was the school psychologist who I was afraid of. Cause I thought, if you saw back then I had the mentality. Like if you go to a therapist, you must be crazy. And I remember someone said, you should go see Ms. McClennan <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> and I said, no, I am not crazy. I don't need to. And they're like, okay. Okay. Whatever. And then I ended up walking to her office a couple hours later and I, she knew like she was dealing with some other kid and she excused the kid and had me sit down instead in her office.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I thought she was going to say, you know, we're going to bring your parents in here. We're going to make things work out. So I told her what happened and she did the opposite. She was like, we got to help you. You got to get away from these people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That was the first therapist I had. And I had many after that, who said, you got to get away from these people. And, um, so she was the one who handed me this, this book, this catalog of this school, I ended up attending. The cover of this catalog was an eye, and I was obsessed with photographing eyes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> obsessed with a particular thing that you did back then in photography, where you change the emulsion of the film by drastically changing the temperature of how you're processing the film, so it breaks the emulsion and creates a process that's called reticulation. And now you can do it in Photoshop in a second, but it, it created this pixelated, but it wasn't pixels.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was like puzzle pieces in a way of an image. And it, it, it, it separates them. It's a, it's a special technique. Like if you see it you'll know it. And so that was the cover was articulated eye, uh, and she didn't know, she didn't know that about my photography, but she hands me this book, she goes, I have a feeling this place would be good for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I looked at the cover and it was that image. And I was like, that's the place for me? I didn't even open the book. Right. And that's where I ended up going to school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The other <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> one that day was Mr. Lomeli, Mr. Lomeli was the drama teacher. And he always told me that I should pursue being an actor because I, he called it it, I have it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">He described people as you have it. If you can see and recognize someone by their back in a crowd. If someone's in a crowd and you're only seeing their backs, if you can recognize that person from just looking at them from behind that person has it. And it's not a physical thing. It's a magnetic energy thing. Like they have a presence about them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he would always say that about me. And I remember always being backstage and that's where I would go cry. Cause it was dark and no one else was there and he would have like the best talks with me, like giving such coaching. Like you're a great person. You're so talented. Don't listen to these people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So he was one, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> sorry, I'm crying. Now you go ahead. Oh my goodness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh my goodness. So this one's slightly earlier for me and I got, it feels like mine are so small next to yours, but here we are. Um, but uh, uh, yeah, little shout out to Tom, his wife Wynn and their little boy Wesley, who is God, not a little boy anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He was an infant. So Tom and Gwen, Tom was a program director at the YMCA Los Cerritos YMCAs shout out. And Gwen was. Sweet. And they had, they had a little boy and he was probably in the neighborhood of six to nine months. And I called them little Wesley headbanger because I'm heavy metal dude. And this was like, I was like, you know, 16, 17, I, you can't tell me what to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Ended up. I was with the Williams, which I guess is credit to my sister who was always involved with my MCA and Tom and Gwen <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> took me in practically, like he was in charge of everything and Gwen was just super sweet. And like, I liked hanging out in the arts and crafts hut because yeah, I liked hanging out in the arts, arts and crafts side.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I won't say that the person running the arts and crafts hut was extremely attractive, but we could say that, uh, and Gwen came in and we were hanging out. We were talking, I was the quote unquote counselor in charge of all the students, all the, like all the kids who were there, which is a weird world, but I'm still so, oh, but like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They took me in and they were like , just normal. And like, I could see, first of all, the love that they had and I could see the love they had for their son, like love for, they had for each other. And they started embracing me with that. And , it really gave me pause because in my world it was like me and like three or four other people against the whole flipping world that just wanted to tell me how to be, how to see, how to, how to go. And they just, they <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> saw me, they accepted me and we all moved on and you know, it was just, it was just nice. And it was just simple and it doesn't have to weird. Doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be complicated, but you can feel the shift. You can feel like things starting to change. And that's when I think things started to change and I started to be more like, you know what, I'm just going to show who I am and if you don't like it , that's what it is, not, I'm just going to be angry. And I'm just, you're just going to get this red wall every time you try and even look at me. So you're going to be like afraid or you're not going to want to. And it really, it really tweaked it for me. And that was at the beginning of the tweak that happened when I started my senior year in high school, which is where I really just mellowed out, quote, unquote, mellowed out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, I wouldn't necessarily have said yes, you absolutely mellowed out on everything. I certainly didn't. I was still very, very angry at a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> lot of things, but , that was the beginning of the quote unquote softening and the beginning of the, let your freak flag fly, and who cares as opposed to let your fleet fried, let your flee fly low.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, let your freak flag fly and if anybody has anything to say about it, then it's going to be, it's going to be conflict. And that's that, that, that kind of represented an important shift for</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's interesting the way you're talking about that, I can now see the series of events that occurred and it led you to Santa Cruz.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It led you to Aikido, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, Santa Cruz definitely led me to Aikido cause Aikido was hugely popular there. I didn't study it there, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it was hugely popular. I think that started you on the softening path. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Yes. And it's it's Tom it's, Gwen cram and their son, little Wesley little Wesley </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">headbanger.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So speaking, we have events like the whole <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> train of events. We were talking about evil people. I was just going to give you another weird friend example, which is Holly for me, but what led me to Holly was a result of an evil person. I was a photographer. Back then, I really was into traveling to far, far away places, places that were very hard to get to, I had quit Aveda, so I wasn't a corporate photographer anymore, and I was burnt out. So I was a barista. I was like, no, it's to this, I'd rather serve coffee and then do my own projects somehow. And so I started to fund my own projects and do my own thing. And some of them are really expensive. I'm sorry. But like, especially back then, I was using film.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was expensive just to take one shot is expensive. Right. And so I ended up connecting with this famous photographer. We <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> ended up just connecting over the phone, over email and phone, and we decided to share , the expenses of going on a photo shoot, where we would each do our own separate photo shoots, but we would share the car and we would share, you know, you always need a guide, especially when you're going out in the Bush, someone to translate from, from tribe to tribe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And also </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> physical protection. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I mean, you, you and there are so many laws that you are not aware of, the laws in between tribes, the laws of that particular country in that area, who, especially if it's an area that is prone to violence and war, same thing, right. Violence and war.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But so we decided to split it and this, this should have been clue. Big clue for me was why is this famous photographer talking to a young woman and wanting to split expenses? He had the backing of so many different corporations for every shoot he went on <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> and I'm a barista paying exactly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Half of everything where we're paying for. Right. But I was young. I was a young kid and I didn't, I don't know. I just, that should have been a big clue right there. Big giveaway of this. Guy's not. Okay. So anyway, this guy, now that I have some experience in some years, looking back on it, understanding what really happened, this guy, as soon as he saw me, I remember I was waiting for him at the airport and ADIs Addis Ababa.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And as soon as he saw me, it was the first time he had seen me. He always heard my voice. As soon as he saw me, I could tell, like he just, his jaw dropped. Like he was so disappointed. You know, I think he was expecting a tall blonde. Blonde dyed blonde, blonde haired, blue eyed woman with big boobs and all this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And instead he got me, there's like brown <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> skin, petite, long black hair, you know, ethnic woman. Right. That w when my friends would always say Fawn, when you look at you, you know, there's no chance in hell that they would get laid. Do you know what I mean? Like, well, I'm sorry, but that's, that was, I w I was always like, why do these kinds of people have that reaction about me?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, am I not attractive? Not that that, that I want them to be attracted to me, but I'm like, what is that? Look that they give me. And one of my friends, like who was always a truth teller, like sometimes it would totally hurt your feelings, but she flat out said, because when they look at you, they know that you're not going to be, uh, uh, a play thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? I will have none of that. Right. So anyway, so this whole trip, he would try to sabotage me every step of the way he even tried to poison me. And I got really <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> sick, really, really sick where I couldn't get out of bed. I think I briefly mentioned this before on another episode. So it was horrible, but because of him, a couple of years later, I was thinking about taking a photography lecture that was happening in New Mexico.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It was Santa Fe. It was in Santa Fe where all the artists would always meet. Right. I had mixed feelings. I'm like, oh, I don't know if I should go. I can't really stand being around other photographers. They're so egotistical and like, Ugh. And so I remember a friend said, you should go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think it's destiny. And as soon as she said that, I'm like, I agree with you. I don't know why. So I go. Whenever I would go to these things, I would dress up. Even in art school, I dressed up, but I dressed up because I had a job right after I worked in retail and I had to wear pantyhose and pencil skirts and blazers and, you know,pumps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I dressed the same when <span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> I would go to show my portfolio, or if I would go to events like this, like lectures and stuff, everyone else is in ripped jeans, artistic. Yeah. So I'm sitting there with my briefcase, which had my portfolio in it, by the way I carried a briefcase. And because I was, this was business for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I realized that a certain point, no matter what you do, it's business. Right. And you can treat that business with total love and creativity. It's still business. So for me to take photographs of you, it's not about me. It's about making you look good. It's about your business thriving, because I photographed your business in such a way I'm here to provide you with something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And so, um, I'm sitting there and we don't know who the lectures are going to be, or I certainly didn't and I'm sitting there and I'm in front row, second row actually. But like upfront, like frontline. Ready for whoever's about to speak, ready to take notes, so excited .And who should come on stage, but this fool, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> this evil photographer. Last time I saw him, he was trying to bail on a major bill. , we went to a restaurant in the hotel and he ate and ate and ate, and then just left me with a bill. And I was like, nuts enough. And I remember telling the manager, he didn't pay the bill. Right. And so he got tracked down and they forced him to pay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But anyway, but that was the last time I saw him and here he is onstage and everybody's loving him like, Ooh, is this famous guy? And I'm like, oh my God, if you guys only knew what this guy does behind the scenes, like this guy is disgusting. Like the way he treats the environment, the way he treats people just to get a shot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like it was ridiculous how many times you almost got us killed out there? I'm like, I'm talking about AK47s being pointed at my tumble. Like just, he didn't care. He did not care. Right.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> And yet he was speaking, like he was so loving of the environment. And so loving of all these cultures, I mean, so behind me, so here's where my weird friends come through behind me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I didn't know anyone in this auditorium. And I started to very slowly put my stuff away, put my notepad away. Cause I wanted to get the hell out of there. Of course I did not want to be there. And all of a sudden I feel a tap on my shoulder. I don't know this guy. His name was Alex. I found out later. , he gives me this handwritten note.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Any, he said, don't leave. There's love for you here. I'm like who the hell? What? Um, anyway, I kept the note for years. I think I still have it somewhere, but I, I, I still left. Right. I left. I'm like nuts to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:00]</span> this and I guess the guy followed me, the guy behind me and I wandered around for a little bit to walk around.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I'm like, what am I going to do? I just was so like shaky and emotional, I was like, I can't believe this. I grabbed my briefcase and I was headed out and I was walking across this dirt, like yard, typical Santa Fe, New Mexico scene. Right? Like in this Adobe place leaving and, and then I hear someone say, is that your portfolio talking about my briefcase? Is that your portfolio? And I kind of paused, but I didn't turn back. I kept walking, excuse me, excuse me. Is that your portfolio? And I turn around and it's the guy. He was like, can I see it please? I'm like, I was just headed out. He's like, please can I see her work?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, okay. So we're sitting outside, I'm standing and <span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:00]</span> he's li he's turning the pages of my book. Right. And with each page he keeps yelling, Holly, oh my God, Holly, Holly, come here. And I'm like, who is Holly? I didn't see anybody else around. So along comes Holly, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and so they started looking at my work and they're like, why are you leaving? I briefly told them the story. They're like, well, where are you going to go? I'm like, I think I'm going to go to a restaurant they're like, well, we'll come with you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we went to this restaurant and I told them the whole story of what had happened. And so anyway, um, and they were like, where are you from? I asked them where they were from. I told them I was from Santa Monica and it turned out that Holly was from Texas, but moving to Santa Barbara, I'm like, oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I go to Santa Barbara all the time. That's my spirit zone. That's where I, I go to totally connect and get answers. So if you need anything, I can help you. Like, that's my territory. It turned out. She actually went to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:00]</span> school in Santa Barbara for a photography. And so anyway, so we became friends and it was because of Holly stepping into my life that eventually led me to you, Matt, because all my friends in Santa Monica were always telling me I should study Aikido</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and I was like, no, I like the mixed martial arts. I like the chopping and the hitting and you know, and Aikido looks so fake to me. No, thank you. These were expert martial artists by the way. And they were like, Fawn, you have no idea what you're talking about. You should study Aikido </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, Nope, Nope. I've seen the videos. They're so fake. Are you kidding me? Like the videos of O Sensei throwing all those big grizzly guys with a finger I'm like, please. So anyway. On our way to Santa Barbara, she stopped in Santa Monica to spend the night over at my studio.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We could hang out and I could show her the neighborhood and everything. And <span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:00]</span> so we, she, we would go back and forth and she would come stand on Santa Monica all the time. And it was when Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was out. We went to see it we went to the parking lot to get into the car, to drive back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And before we got into the car, we were just looking out at the sunset. We were on the rooftop of a parking structure, typical LA. And so she pulled this move on me. It was purely energetic. She did not touch me. And because we had seen crouching tiger because I was totally receptive</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">She pulled a maneuver and I looked at her I'm like, what the heck was that? What'd you just do? She goes, that's Aikido. I'm like, oh, it was a spiritual whirlwind thing. It was completely ethereal. Very weird. If you were going to describe some energy weird. I'm like, all right, I'm sold <span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:00]</span> fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">She's like, I'm going to help you find a place. Okay. So she's the one who found the school where you were at Matt. So I'm sorry. Long winded story. I'm so sorry guys, but weirdness led me to you, honey. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And there you go. Well, I have, and I think maybe I've talked about this before, but I have a story where I got to be the fate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And change the trajectory of someone's life. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What happened?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Check me out my best friend in high school, Vince God bless Vince. We were like peas and carrots. We were like besties. We were like us against the flipping world for awhile. And then obviously Dave came and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But anyways, so in typical, I suppose person, you know, people, fashion Vince decided he either A, wanted to be a heavy metal drummer or be wanted to B, a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> cop.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He knew back then he wanted to be a cop. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it was always kind of in his spear, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what a weird, like weird thing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:00]</span> zing completely different. Right. , anyways, he told me, Hey, yeah, there's Tryouts there's whatever you want to call it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's testing to become a, , orange county sheriff and it starts on this day. And so I said, Vince, let's do it. You and me let's see how it goes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You mean you were going to do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We train for the PT, the physical test. We, I took the physical test with him where you have to like, carry a body for so many yards.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We had to run 1600 yards and you had to sprint and you had to, I don't even remember what else you had to do. I think you had to climb a wall. I think, I don't know who knows this was, this was an interesting amount of time ago, but I did that with him. And then I went to the next level where you actually took a written test just to see if , A, new English and B were reasonably, you know, had your high school equivalency basically.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. And I took that with him. So I was on my way to becoming a sheriff, which is interesting. Cause welcome to the fates. Right. But then I stepped away. Then I said, you know what, I'm done. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:00]</span> And he continued. And because of that, that made him a special Sheriff's officer, which made him a bus cop, went to, went to the academy and everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that was the beginning.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have a whole list of people that have totally been there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I have one I never even saw. I was at a bookstore, the Bodhi tree. Do you guys remember the Bodhi tree? in LA? The Bodhi tree. You always talk about it, but you will never went, you went there with me on Melrose, if you say, so you guys, the Bodhi tree was amazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All, all kinds of books, mostly spiritual books, weird books. So I was there one day looking for her help. I was looking for some book to turn to for comfort. I sat on the ground looking at the shelf in front of me trying to figure out which one of these books should I pull out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There were so many of them, of course. And then all of a sudden. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:00]</span> This hand comes like inches by my face and goes in very gently because it was a loving energy. It was totally loving, very thoughtfully, very gracefully, very respectfully, very close to me, goes and takes out a book pauses on this one book and then slides it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then the hand motions like this one, I didn't even look to see who this person was. I just took the book and I opened it. I bought it. I have it to this day. All these years later, that book, one day ended up, on my shelf at my house in Seattle, I had just, moved to Seattle one of my best friends, Daphne, who I always talk about, comes over for the first time to my house, goes to my bookshelf, goes straight to this book.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And said, oh my God, that's my acupuncturist. That's my doctor. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:00]</span> That's his, that's his dad. That's his dad. So like a lineage of this whole family of really talented acupuncturists. But this is like, you you've seen the, you, you know, the book I'm talking about it. It's super thick, the IChing one. That created more of a bond with my friend Daphne,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and that book to this day is a weird one of those weird things and it's, but talk about metaphysical, talk about, you know, fate and destiny and all that. That's what this whole book is about. Right? The book of changes. And what did we say? One of the meetings was wasn't it to become, to change, to turn to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The spirit of becoming is what weird means. This is the book of changes. That was another weird friend, but I never saw this person. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Interesting. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Your turn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> have nothing to match the, um, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:00]</span> well-thought out that you've </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> got, listen, this is not well thought. Well, it is well thought out because I always think about how people affect me. And every time I see someone I'm like, wow, because I do believe everything is a pre-planned meeting. Every person I walk by, every person that my eyes see, I feel like that was an assigned meeting. Every person on my path, we plan this, right. We plan to meet, even if it's just a walk by; like our energetic fields combining for a second, even. So I'm sure there's a lot, but it's not, like I thought about this before the show, I'm just remembering, these are the people and I was just started to jot down some names and I do have a whole list in front of me, but yeah, it is well thought out because I always think about this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Even the birth of our kids and like how profoundly it changed my destiny or put me on my true path. That was a designated meeting <span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:00]</span> for sure. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm going to give you another example of a weird, a weird friend.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">This is how I got involved in acupuncture I had moved to Santa Monica and that in, in our neighborhood. The apartment that I lived in. Before I totally fixed it up. It had no flooring. One day I'm just sitting on the ground and I noticed a spider on my leg.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, ah, and I flung it off. Right. But then we caught it and we were looking at the spider, my friend and I were looking at the spider and it had fangs. I've never seen a spider like that before. It wasn't big necessarily, but it had these fangs. Like, oh my God, what the heck is this? We looked it up and it was a recluse spider.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We took the spider out and put it in the dirt outside. Shortly after that, I developed this thing on my shoulder. That first it was like a tiny little dot. It was itchy and I scratched it and it started <span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:00]</span> to bleed and I didn't have health insurance back then. Um, you know, I was working as a barista, no money, very little money.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I couldn't afford to go to the doctor or anything, but this thing grew it was actually three dots, like a triangle. It grew to this, I don't know what would this be? Like five, five inches, five inches of it. It took up my whole shoulder, like round bony part of the shoulder right here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And it turned black and all the outskirts where these bumps that would bleed and the black part, if I scratched it a tiny bit would bleed. This happened for months, every day I had, like in the middle of the day, I would have a fever. I very little energy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just didn't feel good. One day when I was serving coffee, this guy walks in this weird guy. Weird is good, weird. The weird we're talking about. So he walks in and he's like, whoa, what happened <span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:00]</span> to your shoulder? I'm like, I don't know. I think it was a spider bite. I'm not sure. And he's like, do you do energy work?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I said, yeah, I do. He's like, do you protect yourself? I'm like, I do it all the time. So maybe not all the time do I think, okay forcefield around me protection. I don't know. Back then. I didn't, I didn't take it seriously enough. He's like that is a sign that you were pierced, your energetic field was pierced, and that you were infected, that, that wouldn't have happened to you if you were grounded.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like if you had that protection field around you and you need to do that, when you're doing light work, I'm like, oh, okay. And so I ended up having coffee with this guy and he told me all about his work. He was an acupuncturist and he told me about dragon that's when I found out about the dragon energy and that he totally put me on the path of healing work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">That's <span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:00]</span> when I started to go to acupuncture and I went, they looked at me like these, these beautiful, elders from China where the teachers of this school shout out to Emperor's Clinic, Emperors College back then it was called, but you could go for like $20 and get a whole treatment herbs and everything, and they fixed you up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I went in and I was getting scared. It was scary and they just looked at me, no big deal. And then they just went, boop, boop, boop. They put these needles in. They made it bleed. They put a suction cup on and like sucked out all, whatever was there. And I swear to you, I've felt , the fever leave from one side of my body and out the other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was perfectly healthy when I walked out. That was my whole healing world, that whole world of alternative medicine, energetic medicine, all of that. It was because of this weird <span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:00]</span> friend who walked into the coffee shop. Changed everything. And now, you know, me, everything is like, I'd rather go to the acupuncturist first holistically, check me out, because a lot of things, the normal doctor doesn't even like, listen to me or like, know what's really going on, or I'll go to the doctor and then I'll go to the acupuncturist and they'll fix up whatever was what would happen from the regular doctor.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because like, let's say they give me antibiotics and then I have all these other problems. Then I have to go to the acupuncturist so they can heal up heal, whatever happened from the effects of the drugs that they were giving me. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, so, so there you have it. I mean, seriously, it happens daily.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If there are people out there, I guarantee you, it's a weird experience. It's a weird friend to pay attention to. And you know what I mean now by weird. Right? Right. So that's it.. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Pay attention, weirdness comes. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:00]</span> Remember, and as you move forward, though, the weird friends who affect your trajectory and you know what, we'd love to hear some stories from you guys, email </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> us: https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ let us know what your stories are. We love you. Thank you so much for listening. And remember weird is good. Be well, bring back the weird, bring back the fate, the chance, the fortune, the destiny, having the power to control fate. That's what weird is. Don't be afraid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We love you so much. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Bye.</span></span></p>
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                    <![CDATA[Weird is not what you think it is. The word "weird" is normally defined as strange peculiar disturbingly, different, or odd, right? No, this is not what this is. 
This episode is about the real meaning of "weird" and the power to control destiny, and the people that are our destiny and what becomes a magical fate.We get into history and mythology and discuss "Weird Sisters", The NORNS, the three fates, the goddesses who controlled human destiny.Who is in your life? who are these people? And are they an external force? Are they an internal force? Are they people that you meet along the way? Are they your friends? How does, how is your fate tied up in friendship? How does destiny work in this realm?If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace


The Weird Friend - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: hello. Hi everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome. And hello. Once again, the weird friend today's topic, the weird friend. Now don't freak out. I'm not disrespecting anybody, we're looking at the word weird and looking at the weird friends in our lives. Now it's not what you think. We're going to look at the adjective and at the etymology of weird 
 Weird is not what you think it is. Or maybe you do
strange peculiar disturbingly, different odd, right? No, this is not what this is. What you're looking for, this is not the droids. What are, what is it I'm looking 
[00:00:51] Matt: for? Yeah, this is not your father's. 
[00:00:56] Fawn: So the adjective comes from late middle English it [00:01:00] originally meant having the power to control destiny.
 Then it became this, an earthy thing. It was a late millet. I can't talk today, late middle English originally meant having the power to control destiny. And it was used, especially in the " Weird Sisters" originally referring, to the fates later, the witches in shakespeare's Macbeth. 
[00:01:27] Matt: And I think , that, that highlights just the Bard because there can only be one. And he's the guy, his, casting a shadow over overall, because he is regarded as the greatest fiction author of all time. 
[00:01:42] Fawn: You mean Shakespeare or what I say? Well, he just said he, or Lord, or Lord Byron, whoever, whatever your belief is.
 There are lots of people that believe it wasn't actually Shakespeare, but it was Byron 
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:54:34</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
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                    <![CDATA[The Art of Paying Attention w/ Maya Holland of Tools for Teens - Working with Energy Medicine]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Nov 2021 02:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-paying-attention-w-maya-holland-of-tools-for-teens-working-with-energy-medicine</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-paying-attention-w-maya-holland-of-tools-for-teens-working-with-energy-medicine</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p> This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland </p>
<p> </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome. Welcome. Welcome! </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Bienvenue. . Thank you very much, everybody for listening. Welcome to our table. We are here with Maya Holland. Again, we're talking about tools for teens. Maya is the founder of tools for teens, a meditation based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. We have her links here in the show. If you need to get ahold of her, which you should, everyone, she is brilliant. You can go to Maya, simone.com, M a Y a S I M O N e.com. Maya simone.com. She has a course tools for teens. Today we're going to talk about. Paying attention even to trifles.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now, Matt, you and I did a show on this a few months ago, we did pay attention. It was what is, what was the title of <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> it? Right? Back then we were doing nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica. Now we're really, I'm obsessed with etymology. So I thought I talked to you about before we get in, before Maya comes on, I wanted to talk about the word "attention."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What I'm going to describe is derived from the Greek. Yea, of course our whole foundation of this friendship movement is based on the Greek and the Nicomachean ethics, but you all know that. Okay. So the meaning derived from the Greek means true sense; a sense of truth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The suffix "logia". Obviously is the study of, it means the study of, and then, so the meaning of it is giving heed, active direction of the mind upon some object or topic. And then you get into the old French"attencion" and<span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> directly from Latin. I'm not going to say the word I'm totally mispronouncing Latin stuff, but basically means.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Attention and attentiveness, noun of action from past participle stem of "attendere" means give heed to literally means to stretch toward actually to stretch toward, from add to, to toward plus "tendere"means stretch. Now the PIE route "ten", you know, AttendeT E N that part of the word, that is what it means to stretch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Isn't that interesting to stretch. before the 17th century then, getting into 1741, 1752, That's when the word really goes into meaning civility, courtesy and the power of mental <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> concentration. Now, when we talk about attention, we alway...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland 
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome. Welcome. Welcome! 
[00:00:04] Matt: Hello!
[00:00:04] Fawn: Bienvenue. . Thank you very much, everybody for listening. Welcome to our table. We are here with Maya Holland. Again, we're talking about tools for teens. Maya is the founder of tools for teens, a meditation based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. We have her links here in the show. If you need to get ahold of her, which you should, everyone, she is brilliant. You can go to Maya, simone.com, M a Y a S I M O N e.com. Maya simone.com. She has a course tools for teens. Today we're going to talk about. Paying attention even to trifles.
Now, Matt, you and I did a show on this a few months ago, we did pay attention. It was what is, what was the title of [00:01:00] it? Right? Back then we were doing nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica. Now we're really, I'm obsessed with etymology. So I thought I talked to you about before we get in, before Maya comes on, I wanted to talk about the word "attention."
 What I'm going to describe is derived from the Greek. Yea, of course our whole foundation of this friendship movement is based on the Greek and the Nicomachean ethics, but you all know that. Okay. So the meaning derived from the Greek means true sense; a sense of truth.
The suffix "logia". Obviously is the study of, it means the study of, and then, so the meaning of it is giving heed, active direction of the mind upon some object or topic. And then you get into the old French"attencion" and[00:02:00] directly from Latin. I'm not going to say the word I'm totally mispronouncing Latin stuff, but basically means.
Attention and attentiveness, noun of action from past participle stem of "attendere" means give heed to literally means to stretch toward actually to stretch toward, from add to, to toward plus "tendere"means stretch. Now the PIE route "ten", you know, AttendeT E N that part of the word, that is what it means to stretch.
Isn't that interesting to stretch. before the 17th century then, getting into 1741, 1752, That's when the word really goes into meaning civility, courtesy and the power of mental [00:03:00] concentration. Now, when we talk about attention, we alway...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
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                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Paying Attention w/ Maya Holland of Tools for Teens - Working with Energy Medicine]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
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                    <![CDATA[<p> This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland </p>
<p> </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome. Welcome. Welcome! </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello!</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Bienvenue. . Thank you very much, everybody for listening. Welcome to our table. We are here with Maya Holland. Again, we're talking about tools for teens. Maya is the founder of tools for teens, a meditation based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. We have her links here in the show. If you need to get ahold of her, which you should, everyone, she is brilliant. You can go to Maya, simone.com, M a Y a S I M O N e.com. Maya simone.com. She has a course tools for teens. Today we're going to talk about. Paying attention even to trifles.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now, Matt, you and I did a show on this a few months ago, we did pay attention. It was what is, what was the title of <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> it? Right? Back then we were doing nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica. Now we're really, I'm obsessed with etymology. So I thought I talked to you about before we get in, before Maya comes on, I wanted to talk about the word "attention."</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">What I'm going to describe is derived from the Greek. Yea, of course our whole foundation of this friendship movement is based on the Greek and the Nicomachean ethics, but you all know that. Okay. So the meaning derived from the Greek means true sense; a sense of truth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The suffix "logia". Obviously is the study of, it means the study of, and then, so the meaning of it is giving heed, active direction of the mind upon some object or topic. And then you get into the old French"attencion" and<span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> directly from Latin. I'm not going to say the word I'm totally mispronouncing Latin stuff, but basically means.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Attention and attentiveness, noun of action from past participle stem of "attendere" means give heed to literally means to stretch toward actually to stretch toward, from add to, to toward plus "tendere"means stretch. Now the PIE route "ten", you know, AttendeT E N that part of the word, that is what it means to stretch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Isn't that interesting to stretch. before the 17th century then, getting into 1741, 1752, That's when the word really goes into meaning civility, courtesy and the power of mental <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> concentration. Now, when we talk about attention, we always bring up Musashi Miyamoto Musashi right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we have the Book of the Five Rings. We did a 10 minute show previously to this show today going over the nine rules right. Today we're bringing Maya on and we're talking about rule number eight, pay attention even to trifles. And I'm really, I'm really excited about Maya's take on this with her energy medicine, but I just wanted to say like what I, what I noticed with friendship and paying attention is micro movements or micro Deeds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But like even a micro movement, like when you really pay attention to someone, something so tiny gives you all the information in the world that could be life-changing. And I think I talked about this before, but for example, when you're looking at someone and all of a sudden their lips disappear. What <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> does that mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They could be saying everything's cool, but if their lips disappear, you know, like when you put your lips together, like inside your mouth, like bite down like that, when people's lips disappear, that's a signal that they're not liking what they're seeing or hearing. So just like, you know, so basically that's what I always think about with people with relationships is paying attention to trifles. The tiniest little thing has the most profound meaning. And studying photography, that's what I was taught by my most amazing photography professor. he always said the things that most people ignore are the most profound. So that's why was in the beginning, I was such like this Renegade want to be fashion photographer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was studying with this man who would photograph the most boring things. And he would, of course go through history and show, you know, Garry Winogrand and like all <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> these amazing masters in photography. And we would study their photographs and I I'll never forget it was me and this other kid, Donavan. And he was also this Renegade, like punk who took the most amazing photographs, but you know, he and I were like in class saying, what is this? Anyone could have photographed these things are so boring. Why is this up in a gallery? Anyone could have done it. And the response was, yeah, but not everyone did not anyone that, except for this one guy to pay attention to something that is so boring.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like really take a look at it and see what it's trying to tell you. And so we would go into the boring photograph and analyze it for days, and it was amazing how much there was to talk about how much that I didn't see until later until I came to the understanding of this whole concept of pay attention, even to trifles.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What's your take on it, Matt?. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, for <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> starters, I was surprised you didn't actually take a look at the etymology of trifle, because trifle is of course a British dessert that has cake and pudding </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> in it. Ah, delicious. That's what we did on the other show. We got into the trifle part, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but for me, yeah, I there's a lot of heaviness in what you were talking about and I'm feeling very light today and I'm feeling much more in a mindset of the trifles that I think I'd rather pay attention to are the trifles. I should be grateful. So that's more my focus at this point. I find it interesting that certainly "stretch" is in there because I think that the call to action on when you do pay attention to a trifle is typically going to maybe make you feel a little uncomfortable because you're going to notice things that, and maybe comment on things that maybe are uncomfortable to talk about, like, you know, why are your hands crossed? Or, you know, as simple as that to, what is, why is the person hiding their <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> lips, as you said? These are more of the things that are interesting to me, but honestly, I think rather than listening to myself, blabber on, I think I'd much rather listen </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to Maya. Let's let's get Maya on here, actually.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She's right here you guys, she's just quiet. Welcome Maya, everyone. You by now, you all know Maya, Maya Holland. Thank you so much for coming. Of course. Thank you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> for having me again. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's been so great in talking to you and it's been such a wonderful journey one that is going to keep on going with you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're so excited to have you with us as our partner here, as we get into talking about everything, all the tools that we need as human beings, but especially for younger people. Take it away Maya. Hi. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:47]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Hello. So I think I really like this, , this role of Musashi is because I think a lot of times people can kind of lose sight of the little <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> tiny things in life that are the most beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I know that's really cheesy, but I think focusing on the little details really helps us stay in the present moment. And. Learn new things from other people and like open our minds to learn which like when we're constantly learning from each other, there's nothing too tiny that we can't benefit from studying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I think like oftentimes the biggest lessons come from the smallest moments, which we can easily surpass if we're not paying attention. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So true. I remember, as we were talking about this last week, you were saying, you know, you really want to talk about, paying attention to trifles and how it relates to celebrating success, but also paying attention to things in our life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">An intuitive sense, you know, looking at it from both angles. Really. I really like your take on that. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah. When I first was reading about this rule of Musashi's, those were kind of the things that came to mind, because like I remember when I was learning to sew, I was 13 and my dad was the founder of this leather goods company.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I would always go into him with work or go in to work with him. And he would always. I would just kind of hang out and observe the people, making the bags and kind of the processes behind the company. And so I remember one day I was like, okay, I really want to make my own bag. And he was like, okay. So then he handed me a piece of scrap leather and sat me down at a sewing machine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the whole day, I just stitched lines back and forth on this piece of leather. And then I left that day and I was like, okay, well, I didn't even make my bag. I was so mad. So then the next day I went back with him and he had me do the same thing. He was like, okay, you're going to stitch line stitch <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> lines, stitch lines.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then we kind of focused on like how to cut in a straight line and like all these little details that made up to the whole process of making the bag. And I remember like a couple of days went by and I finally put it together and I asked him, I was like, why did you have me just like, so in a straight line for two days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he said, that's the most important part. If you can't master that detail, you're not going to be able to do anything. And so I think that really applies to like, you can celebrate small successes because they all add up to this one big goal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. And you need to take a look, be thankful, have gratitude. For those small successes. And there's, there's a lot of really good reasons for that from a purely selfish point of view, to, um, you know, celebrating your small successes leads to increased dopamine and serotonin in your system, which is an awesome thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> These are your go happy kind of chemicals in your brain that make you feel good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you share with Matt, what you do when you're having an off day? Yeah. Okay. So when things aren't going your way, you play a video game or something, I'm like, what are you doing? And you're like, I just want </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to win.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She just want to win. And sometimes it's almost like the win doesn't matter as long as you get a win, you know, as long as you in your head, even, even those days, you get knocked down all day and you actually don't quote, unquote, end up with a win. Sometimes I'll actually flip that on its head and I'll just be, just be like, well, today is just ludicrous day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I just need to accept that. And I just need to move forward with that and have an understanding of that and be comfortable with that. Yeah. But sometimes I do need that when, you know, It's usually pretty easy to figure out what a win looks like and get that win. Sometimes my <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> win for the day, sadly enough is the fact that I empty the dishwasher and it's done.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can look at the dishwasher and say I did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. He actually gets mad at me when I beat him to it. Most couples, I think, fight over not having the dishes come out of the dishwasher. Yeah, we fight. Cause he's like, you took that away from me. I needed that win today I needed that today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And actually there's even a famous speech given by a general talking about how he always makes his bed perfectly every day, because at the end of the day, even if he's had the worst day. He gets to relax in a comfy well-made bed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I worked with someone at Aveda. He was a chemist and we would always, you know, there was a group of us who worked very, very late.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so we were the only ones left in the company, in the building. One day I was, I was like, oh, you're, you're late too. You're you're going home late too. He's like, yeah. And I looked at his desk. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> You know, w we went to the chemical area, the chemistry section, you know, they have all these vials and, you know, it's a, it's a like mad scientists lab.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I look at his desk and it was perfectly clear. And he's like, this is why I'm late. I have to clear my desk no matter what is happening throughout the day, because I want a fresh, new clean start. I want to have respect for the beginning of the next day. So especially if things go awry and it wasn't the best day I come in fresh again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I start with a clear clean slate. And so no matter what's going on, even if I'm in the midst of a major project and I'm not done, my desk needs to be clear. My mind needs to be clear. It's about respect. It's about honoring that and starting clear. And so he would always clear his desk like that every time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I do the exact same thing. Most people I work with, they just <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> shut down their computers. They just close them up. I'd literally close everything I've done during the day. And that actually gives me a certain hour. That reminds me of all the things I managed to accomplish in the course of a day, as well as I'll take whatever notes I need to for the next day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But, when I shut it down, I actually take my laptop, I put it into its own special place, away from everything where I can't see it because it's done. It's over. We're through with whatever work was for that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> day. When we leave our home, I want to make sure that everything is put away perfectly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's say we're going away for the weekend and we're staying in a hotel or something. I have our home specifically designed in such a way that when we come back, there are fresh towels put out, like everything is ready. So when we come home, we're not like, oh man. There's this mess, you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like all depressing, but it's like, I make, I made sure <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> before we leave that the place looks beautiful. So you're excited about coming home that you have fresh towels and a freshly made bed. Do you know what it was made? Like maybe a couple days ago, but, or whenever you left before your vacation, it's a well-made we don't take vacations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We just move as a family. So I, I can't speak of vacations, but. And we just move. , but to have that, is that paying attention to trifle? Is that, or is that too big? Are we going to big? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:30]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> No, I think that's so important. I mean, I remember when I was in fifth grade, one of my teachers would have us journal every day, five things that we were grateful for.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I w like I remember writing down the most insignificant moments. But it kind of forces you to think about, oh my God, wait, I can have a good day without really doing anything special. It can be these really tiny moments that make it a good day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, yeah, I think a freshly made <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> bed definitely makes that list. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also. I won't say what show it is, but we've been obsessed with this one show. It revolves around being deaf. Noticing how, like, at some points, certain deaf people were able to hear. Because of the implant and everything in the show that they put in the, what was it called?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cochlear implants. And so all of a sudden they realize, oh, a bag of chips makes a lot of noise or the refrigerator makes noise. The washing machine makes noise though. Dishwasher makes noise, but like things, we, little things that we don't pay attention to unnecessarily or, or like things that really get on our nerves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we don't realize they're there, until later when you explode, have you, do you guys ever have that? Like, you're just, there's this buzzing in the background and that buzzing could be someone that is bothering you. Do you know what I mean? It <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> could be energetic too. And you're like, and as soon as it stops, you're like, oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> And then you kind of take this breath that you really didn't realize you were holding it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yes. And then I get angry. I'm like, because I realized how, how annoying it was, but when it stops, I'm like, oh, thank God. Right? Or like when the lights go out, when the electricity goes out and how quiet it gets, because all those things are so noisy. They're screaming for your attention.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's why I don't like photographs up on my walls. Like even when I had my photography studio, it was bare because I could not stand all the attention that was being asked from me. Like things that are on the walls are asking for my attention. They're wanting me to connect. They're wanting me to have a relationship and have thought go back and forth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when the lights go out and all that stuff does <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> appears like the refrigerator, the buzzing, you don't hear like the electrical outlet makes a buzzing sound. And on some days when I'm super sensitive, it makes me nuts. Like that sound that high pitched electricity sound, some days I'm like, Matt, do you hear that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you're like, no, I'm like, it's making me, I it's it's it's so annoying. Like I can hear electricity, but anyway, paying attention to trifles sometimes no good for me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:29]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> sometimes it drives you a little crazy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, that's why I want to focus on more gratitude aspect of trifles. Like the little wins, the little, you know, I found a penny on the sidewalk or, you know, just those little things and, and focusing more attention than you normally</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">would I always talk about it as I'm going to spend a brain cell on that? Cause I'm actually now going to spend some time thinking about it. Yeah. And as it turns , not only Dopamine and serotonin levels go up, which is awesome. But people who <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> do focus on these trifley moments with gratitude, with thankfulness, see increased happiness, lower depression, it actually strengthens their resilience and they report that they have more energy, more self-esteem .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And here's the, here's the interesting one. If you really think, if you, if you really have grateful thoughts, like you reflect back on the good things that happen during the course of a day, you sleep better. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> It's so interesting that you bring that up because the past couple of weeks, I've been really busy, like I'll wake up, do my morning routine in a rush, go to school, go to work and kind of like repeat the next day. But the other morning I woke up super early, just naturally, which never happens. And like I had my coffee in peace. I made a really good breakfast. I meditated, I read a book and I was like, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> oh my God. This is amazing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I went on to my day. It was really terrible, but when I got home, I didn't focus on the terrible part of the day. I kept remembering, oh my God, what a lovely morning I had. And so what you're saying about serotonin, I think it's so true because. If we get so caught up in our routine, or like, if we start off having a bad day, we can so easily trail off into, okay, well, this day is going to suck, but it's just about shifting your mindset to focusing on the things that are going well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think that's a huge part of it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> as well. So bringing this back to teens, especially there's so many things happening. There's so many changes, physically energetically in your environment and society, everything. How in the world, like how in the world can you stop and really look at your successes? And what advice do <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> you have to give teens?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:02]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I would say. From a day-to-day standpoint, journaling is always really good for that. I think I've mentioned this in a previous episode, but like I'm a big journaler. and that always just really helps me come back to like the tangible moments that I can be grateful for in my day. But from an intuitive standpoint, I think it's really important.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">To listen to what your gut is telling you or what that little tiny voice in your head is telling you. because those are always the answer as to how we can shift our thoughts and our mindset, but they're not always the easiest to listen to. So once you kind of train your brain to listen to that, it makes a big shift.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Definitely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How do you listen? How do you know who you're listening to? Especially as teens? I'm sure. I mean, I remember there were so many voices. There's the parent, there's a teacher, there's everything in social <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> media. There's there are all these other voices around you, and sometimes it's hard to hear your own and decipher, which one is your own voice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do you know, what is your voice?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:12]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Two things. First of all, I think for a lot of people, it's hard to understand how do I know what my gut is telling me? So. Pros and cons list a hundred percent, like literally take out a piece of paper. If you're trying to make a decision or trying to figure out how you feel about something pros and cons list always helps group your thoughts and seeing these ideas actually written out on paper helps you choose how you actually feel about something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I think for people that kind of struggle with the gut feeling, that's always a really good way. So tell like how you feel, but then another way is just to kind of sit quietly, close your eyes for a little bit, and like maybe do a guided meditation. Maybe <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> just sit peacefully and then ask yourself again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do I actually want? Because you'll be more receptive if you're in that state. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What if you're still hearing other people's voices, what if things are so overwhelming that you may think to yourself? Well, is this me my own voice telling me this? Or is it someone else's voice telling me this? How can you tell what your voice sounds like?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I'm just going to be honest. At first it's can be hard for some people to tell. But over time, if you talk about your feelings with others, if you begin to recognize, oh, this is how this makes me feel. then I think you, you start to train yourself to know when your thinking is actually your thinking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not just somebody else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you think there's any more suggestions really quickly? Because I know that's super general. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, when I have a hard time really trying to sort out my thoughts, my opinions, my feelings, my <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> everything, when things bombard and overwhelm, it's about removing myself physically from the given situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I talked previously about my thinking spot and I think thinking sponsor are very important. Getting away from everything is very important. Uh, just, you know, even just to rest and recharge, to be honest, because then that makes you more open to listening to yourself more open to really figuring out what your intuitions are trying to tell you in the first place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so, you know, I have, I have some various and sundry routines, you know, certainly jumping on a bike and doing something physically very hard, gets me ironically, fully in my body and then when I stopped takes me completely out of it, which I think is important. The other thing I like to do is I'm very much an early bird and, I like taking myself out for coffee to a place where I don't know anybody, which is kind of the key. I used to do this when I was a teenager, I would go to places that were <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> far away from where I lived, that were fun, where I didn't know anybody. And I knew I wouldn't run into anybody I know. And so I could just be in my own kind of head space, even if I was surrounded by other people, even if I was, you know, bombarded with thoughts and ideas and whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I wasn't in the world on some level, I was a little bit detached from it because, I knew I wasn't going to need to interact with anybody that people were basically just going to ignore me, unless of course I like, you know, bumped into them or whatever. And so I just avoided that. And then I was able to just be in my own head and yet, separated from my day to day minutiae, which is important</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you know, it's a way of paying attention to trifles by specifically getting away from them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's a good point. I can relate to that through photography, because to get away from other people's perspectives and other people's point of <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> view and trying to try to see something differently.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What if you don't have the luxury of going somewhere different? You don't have the luxury of going somewhere far away. Well, what you could do. Stand on the table or get yourself low down to the ground. I'm talking about taking pictures, for example, right? You can be in the same spot. You can be in the same room, but if you can get yourself to a point where you can see things differently than what most other people are doing, I think that helps too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that makes you see the little trifles that most people are not aware of from a different vantage point. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:39]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I think that's a really good point. I think a lot of times we get so caught up in our routine that you forget like, oh, maybe I just want to change it up. And that I think can be so powerful in itself or whether it's like listening to different music than you normally do, taking a different route to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> school than you normally do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just like changing your environment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely like the tiniest shift, right? A tiniest little shift, much like paying attention to tiny trifles, a tiny twerk, a tiny tweak of not twerk. I'm sorry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A tiny tweak. It's a huge deal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know why I said that. Nevermind,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">wait. twerk is not just at the club. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> twerk is like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> shifting something. I, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think the word has been subverted at this point, darlin. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I love the new, the new one, but okay. You all know what I'm talking about though, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, what do you guys, um, so Maya, I want to bring this back to what you do with tools for <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> teens, what you do at these workshops. Can you lead us through something that relates to paying attention to trifles; something that would be an example of what happens in your classes with teens?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And before we, if we, if we get into meditation, everybody out there please, if you're driving, if you're doing something that is crucial to life like driving, and don't close your eyes when you're driving. So pull, pull aside, stop what you're doing, and then we can get into it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> One of the main things that I cover in the first class is about how to access your meditation sanctuary, which I think I've previously talked about. Um, another episode, but your meditation sanctuary is your sacred home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that is where you recognize your own voice. So simply by <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> learning about your meditation sanctuary, designing it, you can come in better contact with your intuition. And so every time we enter a meditation sanctuary, like you always say hello, and if it doesn't sound like your physical voice, then that's when you know you're not in your body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So then we take a couple of seconds ground, and then if you greet yourself again, and for example, it sounds like me talking in my meditation sanctuary. That's how I know I'm fully in my body. So that's just kind of, one of the things that we'll go over as a basic introduction to the class, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is this like in your head or do you say it out loud?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is all in your head and your mind, is there you say hello? Yes. That is the best description I've heard, honestly, because I've been taking classes and it was, it's never been described quite like that before. Thank you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:56]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> You're welcome. Cause I struggled with that at first too. I always, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> I've always been pretty good at listening to my self, but obviously life happens and you get really confused.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so that's kind of a trick that I use to help me realize I'm like, am I actually here? Or is this just somebody else's voice that's in me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you talk more about the classes and what to expect, what happens in your classes? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Definitely. So, the upcoming group classes are going to be starting on November 14th.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's a Sunday and they're gonna run, four weeks. So the 21st, the. I want to say it's the 28th and then the 5th of December. So the first class just serves as an introduction. I go over grounding and meditation sanctuary, and then each class I progress and teach students about a different part of the energy body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> chakras life force energy, how to create healthy boundaries. And things along those lines, we go over some other stuff as well, but that's just the general and each class specifically, we'll start out with an opening meditation just to come back to the present moment and then a lesson where I talk about the topic for the day, and then we will have a longer meditation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Focuses on integrating those tools and teaches kids how to use them in their meditations. And when they're out of meditation and then we'll do an activity then a closing meditation. A lot of times there will be diagrams where you can color in different parts of your energy body and things like that, which I think at least for me seeing it on paper was a really good</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">learning technique. So that's why I like to do it in my classes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Outline. This is all <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> online. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's fabulous. For those of you listening Maya's class, you can contact her by going to her website. The link is right here in the show notes. Maya, how many times a year do you do this? So if they don't make it to the class, starting in a couple of weeks, when can they catch the next one?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can they just get ahold of you and figure out when the next class is when they can partake? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yes, definitely. My email is on my website and if it's not possible to make the next round of classes, I'm probably going to be doing another round starting in January, maybe early February. So it really just depends on what gets the most traction, because obviously I want to work around kids' schedules.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause obviously school is important and sports and everything like that. But November is the next one. And then after that will probably be January, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> February. And do they <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> graduate to different levels? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:01]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Oh yes. So pretty much the one in November is going to be, I guess you could call it level one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's just the intro. And then next year, Which that sounds really weird to say, um, which is like, yeah, I'll introduce level two. So for example, if you've taken the level one, no matter when you can do the level two, and then eventually I'll build on level three, four, et cetera, which just goes into more depth and introduces more tools.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. That's fantastic. Our kids. Yes. Our kids are a part of this program with Maya. Thank you, Maya. Is there anything else you guys want to say before we go? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I want to drop a big, big, giant, I don't know, rock or bomb right in the middle of it actually. I think that paying attention to trifles is certainly very important and, you know, obviously, cause that's what we've been talking about <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> also in the process of paying attention to them and keeping track of these trifles to figure out which things that you do, which aspects of these tiny little things that happen to you in the course of the day, really serve you. Which ones make you feel good, which ones help you increase your dopamine. Those are the things you're going to want to do more of. And then those things that don't serve you, those are the things you're going to want to do a lot less of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. But if you don't pay attention to them, then all of a sudden, you know, here we are, you know, we're in the process. It's interesting. From a neurological perspective, humans are in the midst of this going from being single-mindedly focused on things to being crazy multitaskers. And that has a lot to do with cell phones and just everything that vies for our attention in the course of a day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But that's very much not evolutionarily speaking where we came from. So figuring out how to put less random tasks <span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> sprinkled throughout your day that you work on at the same time, even the things you pay attention to. So I'm going to tell you, there are certain trifles, the ones that don't serve you, that you need to stop giving energy to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. This reminds me of advice I got, when I was in high school, I had friends that were older and one of them said don't worry; having friendships is like having a garden, but it's a garden that you constantly need to weed. There are things that you need to pluck out for other things to grow. So don't worry about like, we did it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We did a show called the breakup and that's what I was trying to say is sometimes. Some people, or some things need to be plucked out of your life, you know, in a very gentle way. But you know what I mean? You need to, you need to clear space </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> and you'd be surprised. I mean, if you think about it, if you do three or four things every day that you don't really like, whether that's an activity, hanging out with a person <span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> doing a specific task. Like those start to create just little holes in your energy system. And that begins to deplete you. And it doesn't feel good. So like, you guys are saying like, get them out of your life and slowly it starts to build you back up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And even those things, I think you're ambivalent about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, yeah, I can take it or leave it. Maybe it's a good idea to really take a good harsh look at these things and say, Hmm, okay. If you're not serving me and I don't care about you, maybe I should cut you out too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Maybe I should leave it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Those are the things like Maya was saying. They create holes in you and your field.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, those are the, it could be considered as energy cords, right. Maya and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:45]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I go over in the class. I was going to say, I know from </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> personal experience, what happens in your classes that you teach the art of neutral separation and really learning how <span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> to in a very gentle way, weed out these energies from your mind, your spirit, your body, and there's an art to that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it is quite simple once you learn the steps, the simple steps, and that's what you teach. I'm so grateful for that. It's so important. So energy cords are like things that you get attached to. They could be very good energy, but there could be not so great. And, and I also, I know that Maya will talk about like the length of time, there is a cord that you're attached to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Am I right? Even if it's good is not beneficial for your physical body, so you need to learn to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah. What you were saying, like it's not good for your physical body. I mean, for example, If somebody is really happy, I'll see that. And I'll be like, oh, they're happy that in itself is chording.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so you have it on that aspect, but <span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:00]</span> you also have, oh, if somebody is crying and they're really sad. Oh, that makes me sad. That's chording. And if you're around somebody all the time, who for example, is making you really sad. Like that chord just eventually like kind of wilts to you away if that makes sense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. Like this happens to me all the time, because I'm super sensitive. But like, if someone has a headache, all of a sudden I have a headache. Yeah. Because I'm, I can feel what's going on and I stay there cause I don't think of, okay. I need to make myself my energy neutral from their's in order in order that I can be whole, so I can maybe even help this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can't help you if I'm feeling the same pain you are. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Right. And that's where empathy versus compassion comes in because a lot of people that are highly empathetic tend to feel what you're describing. So. Somebody who's really depressed. You feel their depression, or if somebody is in pain, you feel their pain.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But I think it's important that we shift to compassion instead, because you recognize you understand them, but you don't feel what they're feeling. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Guys. I highly recommend you take Maya's classes, because. Well, you learn the tools on how to do all this stuff. And it's really simple. Like I said, once you learn but learning, the teachings that Maya teachers like, you look at someone outside of your energy field and. Telling yourself, five things that are different in this person than yourself. So like just saying, this person is named Karen, I am Fawn. So there's that difference. So like things that aren't judgmental, just like hardcore things, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not this person is a jerk and I'm not. Yes, this person has blonde hair. I have black hair. You know, I love the process of that, that you <span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:00]</span> teach that, just noticing the simple differences, the trifles, the differences in them, and then knowing yourself and knowing them and creating a boundary. You can explain it better than I can.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> No, you did a great job. I mean, just affirming that out loud. Like simultaneously separates you guys. So you can do that out of meditation. Like, I would do that when I was in high school. Oh my God. Walking through the hallways with hundreds of kids, I would be like, okay, I have blonde hair, they have their hair, I have my shoes, they have their shoes just to like, get their energies out of my space.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause it's so overwhelming. But you don't really think about it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's such a simple tool, but that's just one tiny thing that you learn with Maya. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my goodness. I don't want this time to end, but, um, I know that everyone <span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:00]</span> has places to go and things to do. Um, I'm so grateful for everyone listening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you so much, Maya. Thank you everyone; our friends for listening. Love you so much. And we, we shall see you soon. Hear you soon. Be with you just a few days again, to reach Maya, you can go to</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maya, simone.com. Her email, our information is there. Again, her workshop is called tools for teens. And once again, Maya Holland is the founder of tools for teens and it's a meditation based healing service for teens. And, it's all about ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You can sign up for privates. You can sign up for a class and you can be involved in a community of your peers. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:00]</span> Highly recommend Maya, Maya. Thank you again for coming. Thank you so much. Very much. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, everybody. And make sure you tell everyone about our friendship movement, what we're trying to create.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Compassion and hello, peace throughout the world. Through the art of friendship. So please let everyone know about our podcast. Subscribe to it. Tell your friends about it, we're global. Thank you all the countries for listening very much. Absolutely. There's something that we're working on. We've been working on for months that we're still working on is that we want to have these friendship summits around the world in person when things are totally safe out there, we want to create these beautiful communities in person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So please reach out to us, send us your thoughts. Sign up through email. Our friendly world.com or our friendly world podcast.com. We have two websites. We are <span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:00]</span> blessed with the richness of websites, um, where all over Instagram, everywhere you can find us our friendly world. And we'll talk to you soon. Thank you so much, everyone be well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Talk to you soon. Bye bye-bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland 
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome. Welcome. Welcome! 
[00:00:04] Matt: Hello!
[00:00:04] Fawn: Bienvenue. . Thank you very much, everybody for listening. Welcome to our table. We are here with Maya Holland. Again, we're talking about tools for teens. Maya is the founder of tools for teens, a meditation based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. We have her links here in the show. If you need to get ahold of her, which you should, everyone, she is brilliant. You can go to Maya, simone.com, M a Y a S I M O N e.com. Maya simone.com. She has a course tools for teens. Today we're going to talk about. Paying attention even to trifles.
Now, Matt, you and I did a show on this a few months ago, we did pay attention. It was what is, what was the title of [00:01:00] it? Right? Back then we were doing nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica. Now we're really, I'm obsessed with etymology. So I thought I talked to you about before we get in, before Maya comes on, I wanted to talk about the word "attention."
 What I'm going to describe is derived from the Greek. Yea, of course our whole foundation of this friendship movement is based on the Greek and the Nicomachean ethics, but you all know that. Okay. So the meaning derived from the Greek means true sense; a sense of truth.
The suffix "logia". Obviously is the study of, it means the study of, and then, so the meaning of it is giving heed, active direction of the mind upon some object or topic. And then you get into the old French"attencion" and[00:02:00] directly from Latin. I'm not going to say the word I'm totally mispronouncing Latin stuff, but basically means.
Attention and attentiveness, noun of action from past participle stem of "attendere" means give heed to literally means to stretch toward actually to stretch toward, from add to, to toward plus "tendere"means stretch. Now the PIE route "ten", you know, AttendeT E N that part of the word, that is what it means to stretch.
Isn't that interesting to stretch. before the 17th century then, getting into 1741, 1752, That's when the word really goes into meaning civility, courtesy and the power of mental [00:03:00] concentration. Now, when we talk about attention, we alway...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:44:08</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Strong Inner Compass with Maya Holland of Tools for Teens, Using Energy Medicine]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 Nov 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
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                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-strong-inner-compass-with-maya-holland-of-tools-for-teens-using-energy-medicine</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-strong-inner-compass-with-maya-holland-of-tools-for-teens-using-energy-medicine</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What is an inner compass and how do we have strength in that? </p>
<p>This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland </p>
<p> </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Inner Compass – TRANSCRIPT </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, everybody. We are back we're back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? Hello. Good morning. Good evening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All of it. Hello at all times in all places. Yeah. And all dimensions. Hey everybody. Guess who's here. Maya Holland is here. Hi Maya. Hi. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. All over again. Here we go again. Um, you know, when I say goodbye, we've done this for years, the kids grew up like this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We never say have a nice day because when I was working, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas and this beautiful person who was a swami at the end of our, our Workday, I was like, okay, have a nice day when we were going towards separate areas and he's like Fawn,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">no, like I got so scolded, spiritually. Um, he was so wonderful, but <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> he was like, don't ever say that to someone you're condemning someone to just having one day of good. Don't you ever say that? I'm like, never again. So he taught me to say, and this is how our girls talk. Whenever we say, see you later, or bye.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They say have a beautiful every day, have a good every day. Oh, that's so cute. We never say it. We never say it. And just the, um, the opposite of the plural, you know, in the, just the one thing, SINGULAR is what I was looking for. Okay. So I digress. The </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> same thing with the question, how are you? It's so loaded.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's kind of like that. You really want to know who I am. Are you just asking to be polite? You know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> people don't care. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah. I mean, if someone asks me how I am, I'm going to tell you how I'm doing. I'm going to give you all the details, but. Some people, they <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> just really don't care. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What is an inner compass and how do we have strength in that? 
This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland 
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
The Inner Compass – TRANSCRIPT 
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. We are back we're back. 
[00:00:04] Matt: Hello? Hello. Good morning. Good evening. 
[00:00:07] Fawn: All of it. Hello at all times in all places. Yeah. And all dimensions. Hey everybody. Guess who's here. Maya Holland is here. Hi Maya. Hi. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. All over again. Here we go again. Um, you know, when I say goodbye, we've done this for years, the kids grew up like this.
We never say have a nice day because when I was working, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas and this beautiful person who was a swami at the end of our, our Workday, I was like, okay, have a nice day when we were going towards separate areas and he's like Fawn,
no, like I got so scolded, spiritually. Um, he was so wonderful, but [00:01:00] he was like, don't ever say that to someone you're condemning someone to just having one day of good. Don't you ever say that? I'm like, never again. So he taught me to say, and this is how our girls talk. Whenever we say, see you later, or bye.
They say have a beautiful every day, have a good every day. Oh, that's so cute. We never say it. We never say it. And just the, um, the opposite of the plural, you know, in the, just the one thing, SINGULAR is what I was looking for. Okay. So I digress. The 
[00:01:39] Maya: same thing with the question, how are you? It's so loaded.
It's kind of like that. You really want to know who I am. Are you just asking to be polite? You know, 
[00:01:49] Fawn: people don't care. 
[00:01:51] Maya: Yeah. I mean, if someone asks me how I am, I'm going to tell you how I'm doing. I'm going to give you all the details, but. Some people, they [00:02:00] just really don't care. 
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Strong Inner Compass with Maya Holland of Tools for Teens, Using Energy Medicine]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What is an inner compass and how do we have strength in that? </p>
<p>This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland </p>
<p> </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Inner Compass – TRANSCRIPT </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello, everybody. We are back we're back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello? Hello. Good morning. Good evening. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All of it. Hello at all times in all places. Yeah. And all dimensions. Hey everybody. Guess who's here. Maya Holland is here. Hi Maya. Hi. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. All over again. Here we go again. Um, you know, when I say goodbye, we've done this for years, the kids grew up like this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We never say have a nice day because when I was working, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas and this beautiful person who was a swami at the end of our, our Workday, I was like, okay, have a nice day when we were going towards separate areas and he's like Fawn,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">no, like I got so scolded, spiritually. Um, he was so wonderful, but <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> he was like, don't ever say that to someone you're condemning someone to just having one day of good. Don't you ever say that? I'm like, never again. So he taught me to say, and this is how our girls talk. Whenever we say, see you later, or bye.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They say have a beautiful every day, have a good every day. Oh, that's so cute. We never say it. We never say it. And just the, um, the opposite of the plural, you know, in the, just the one thing, SINGULAR is what I was looking for. Okay. So I digress. The </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> same thing with the question, how are you? It's so loaded.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's kind of like that. You really want to know who I am. Are you just asking to be polite? You know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> people don't care. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah. I mean, if someone asks me how I am, I'm going to tell you how I'm doing. I'm going to give you all the details, but. Some people, they <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> just really don't care. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's just a, it's a thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's just a robotic uncaring, like thing that it just gets spit out. And to me, when I hear that and I can sense the person really isn't caring. I'm like, wow, this person doesn't care. It's just a, it's just a script. They just want to go through something or get it over with. And so every time if I hear that I will switch things around and throw them off their game on purpose, because not to be mean about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. But to just bring them back to like present, please see me. If you're meeting with me right now, I need you to be present. And I don't want filler words and I don't want this kind of blanket curtain that you have up. I don't appreciate that. Now, without saying all those mean words that I just said, I will throw them off. In our martial arts,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we described it as breaking someone's chi, cutting their chi, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> cutting their chi. Do you want to explain what that is real quick, cutting the chi, what chi is energy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> if somebody is moving in a given direction and all of a sudden, you know, somebody throws a punch, you know, pretend to throw a punch at them and causes them to flinch.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Startle. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Their chi has been cut, you know, because I'm now changing your direction. I'm now effecting your movement. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's it's like a subtle breakup event or. You know, or it could happen in a clap like, Hey, you know, or with one letter, I'll do this with someone taught me this a long time ago with one letter I can affect change and make someone like, be aware right away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the letter a, I just say, A!, and it snaps people out of it. , just one time. I don't say it three times. Just one time. There was this one guy at the gym and I was behind him on this treadmill, like three treadmills behind him. He was on this treadmill for a long, long, long time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he was sweating. There was sweat beads <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> flying off of him the whole time. And then he stops the machine and walks away. He does not wipe it down. And you know, I'm a germaphobe. It was a crowded place, but I said the word a and he knew he didn't even see me cause I was way behind him in a crowd, but he froze and then he wiped it down and he came back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it works. Anyway, I digress again. Hi everybody. Today we were talking about the weak inner compass, how a weak inner compass can lead you to make bad decisions, and why it's important to develop intuition for this very reason. And so we have Maya to explain, hi Maya, take it away. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Well, I think the term weak inner compass, first of all, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry to interrupt, but could you describe what the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> inner compass is for everyone?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then what is a weak inner compass and why do we have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> just like you have a normal compass with north south east west, it tells you direction, but an inner compass is more referring to your intuition. So it's oftentimes your gut. It's you're guiding voice that will say, oh, this is a good idea. Or, oh, maybe you shouldn't do this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's the location from where you make intuitive decisions. And so it's important to have a strong inner compass and a really strong intuition because that's how you differentiate what your gut is telling you and what's just clutter from the outside world. If you have a really weak inner compass or an intuition that isn't very developed, you can oftentimes get yourself into situations that you might not want to be in;<span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">oftentimes wishing, oh, I really wish I wasn't here right now. And when you don't know how to listen to your intuition or your inner compass, It's hard to decipher a good choice between a bad choice, then you just end up doing whatever other people want to do because you just can't decide. And you oftentimes make decisions that aren't really in your highest good.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, that, that sounds great. When you're in the thick of things, as I say, how do you pull it together? How, how do you even come to the point where you realize, my compass is way off right now. Before you get into the situation where you're like, I need to get out of here, why am I here?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. How do you strengthen that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> One of the main ways is through meditation and grounding yourself. Another way is just through practice. If you're, this is a perfect exam. , social situations, maybe someone invites you out to a party or a dinner or whatever, and you just have a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> bad feeling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You don't really want to go, but you might feel bad canceling. You might feel bad saying no. So you go anyway, and then you got there and you really don't want to be there. So taking a couple of steps back listening to your voice. In that moment when you think, oh, actually I don't really want to do this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And just going with that, that slowly will help you develop a pattern of trusting your intuition, thus developing your inner compass. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:28]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> How would you differentiate an inner compass from like a conscience? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> It's pretty similar. It's basically just another word, but. It draws more from intuition, less from </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> like past experience or, right, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Cause typically I would say that if I've been successful doing A I'll probably continue doing that. So, you know, if I've had a good time, every time I've been to a party, odds are, if you can find me no party. Okay. Exactly. Uh, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> versus maybe you're inviting me to a party that isn't so, so good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Right. I mean, it really depends on the situation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, this is kind of an example from my life, but when I'm walking home at night, if I get a feeling like, oh, maybe I shouldn't walk this way, maybe I'll go a different way. I just always, I just go the other way, because. Just with practice you learn to think about, okay, it's not even worth the risk. Just listen to , my little inner conscience </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stop and I figure </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And maybe it doesn't have anything to do with risk. Maybe if you take path B versus path A something really cool is gonna happen. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't have to be such a avoiding negativity. You could be moving towards positivity to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> a disaster, but remember our first born our daughter, when she was a baby, when she was a toddler, There's a difference, I'm sorry between baby and toddler.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But when she <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> was very little, like two years old and we'd say, okay, we're going to downtown today. She would immediately say no. And we're like, okay. All right. Well, we would go and some weird stuff would happen. And I remember this would happen so many times where if she said no, and we went anyway, she was right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's not like she, she willed it to happen. It was like, she sensed it and I sensed it also, but I'm like, well, I have to pick this up from the store and we need to go. But each time I was like, oh my God, we should have listened to our two-year old. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Your logic starts to overpower, right? Exactly. Like, oh, I have to get this done.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, I can't do it tomorrow. We'll just go. And I remember </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> looking at her, at two I'm like, You were right. All right. I'm so sorry from now on. We're going to totally take into account what you're saying. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> And this was our two year old on the outside, but I think on the inside, it's the same thing. It's like, you hear this voice going?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, but just stop analyzing it and just go. No. All right. And move it right along. No more fighting back and forth in your head. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Exactly. There's this quote that I really like, and it kind of applies, it's if you say no to someone and they get angry, that doesn't mean you should have said yes. And I think this is powerful for a lot of different reasons, but in terms of trusting your intuition, it really applies because if you have a strong inner compass and conscience, Someone getting angry at your response, won't trigger you or make you think twice about your decision.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But if you have a weak guiding meter, it's easy to go back on your answer simply because they got angry, which leads you to doing something that you probably didn't want to do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm just <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> curious Maya, how you would handle the situation. I remember, So many times I would say no. And it would lead to this argument with this person. They would get so angry with me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And because I was a teen because they were older, you know, even by like a couple of years or. They could have been peers actually, but like it would lead to a fight. And I, there was no way out for me because I was in class with them where I was stuck in a situation with them, whatever that was even in a family where my intuition, my gut, my gut would say no.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I would respectfully say, no, I can't do this for you or, or no, I'm not going to do this. And it would lead to so much horribleness and I couldn't escape it because I was bombarded by this person. What do you do in that situation where you feel like you can't escape it, that conflict. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> That's a hard one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've been in those <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> situations before. And when people keep pressing, that's when it gets even harder to say no and stick to your answer. But I think, I always just say like, why aren't you hearing me right now? Why do I need to prove my answer to you. Isn't how I feel enough? And that kind of makes them think, oh wait, I'm not listening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then if they keep going, at some point, you just gotta, you just gotta walk away because that's their problem that they got angry at your answer </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is actually interesting. I was in a situation where somebody would wanted me to do something I didn't want to do. And I described why I didn't want to do it. And they were like, yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but you know, the yeah but world world, and I just said, you know what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">My intuition tells me not to do it. And they had nothing to say to that. Absolutely. Nothing. As soon as I threw out the intuitive word, they just melted away. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Cause you can't argue with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Boom. So you were talking about meditation and <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> grounding and that's probably a daily practice. You know, and you can meditate and once you meditate. I feel like you can walk around with your eyes open as you're walking around and still be in meditation. So that walks around with you. And same with grounding, you know, when you learn how to ground.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You go through the steps and you're sitting there and you're thinking about the steps of what grounding consists of. And then as you go along in life in a split, second, you say I'm grounded. Boom. There it is. But do you mind going through the steps of meditation? Like not leading us through it meditation per se, but like the steps of that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And what it really takes. And also with grounding explaining the difference between that and what really grounding is and just like how quickly it can happen. Um, do you mind explaining <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> meditation? Because you know, when people hear meditation, you got to meditate. It's like, oh man, I'm going through all this stuff right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I have time to go sit in a Lotus position I can't do that right now. I'm in the thick of it. Please explain how, how we can meditate and ground. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I think that's a really common stigma of meditation is that you're sitting quietly and your mind is completely blank, and you have to shut out every single thought that you have.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's not what it's about. It's about just feeling your body becoming or coming back to where you are right now and quieting and filtering your thoughts. So when I meditate, close my eyes, either sitting, laying down, whatever, wherever I am, and everybody has a meditation sanctuary. So can you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> can you, of course, what your sanctuary is and where it is?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> the meditation sanctuary is located in the back center of your head. So if you put a finger on top of your head, sort of where the little bump is, and then on the side of your head, right above your ear, where those two points meet, that's where your meditation sanctuary is. That's what we like to call your sacred home. You can design it however you like. Mine is like a Redwood Grove with a little day bed and some pillows. That's where I go and there's no noise. It's just peace and quiet. And that's my space. So when I meditate, I enter my meditations through that location, and then I drop a grounding cord.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">From the bottom of my feet. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you explain me that grounding cord is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:49]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> so grounding cord is what connects you to the Earth's resonance. It's how you plant your feet on the ground, basically. It can really <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> look like anything. I always use Redwood tree roots, but some people use a golden chain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Others use a waterfall. It's really just how you connect yourself to the center of the earth. So that's kind of the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">setup. And then </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">what I like to do is run what's called earth energy. So that's also the Earth's resonance just up from the center of the earth, up to my hips, and then just intend that, that flow keep going.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Then I channel my life force energy, which is my signature energy. Everybody has that. And it really all depends where I want to go with the meditation. Sometimes I'll look at my chakras if they're out of balance. And I let my body guide where I want it to go. That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">how it looks </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it can happen in a split second.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm very fast with things. Matt is always all my case about, it's not about being fast. But I'm like, how can I do it in a split second? Go on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> But see, I totally hear everything you're saying I'm much more of a, at least initially I was certainly much more of a tangible person. And I drew my inspiration from Winnie the Pooh. Pooh had a thinking spot and that's where he would go to think.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think of meditation. As thinking, I don't think of it as meditation or quieting. I think about it as I'm thinking on a given subject maybe. And so I would have a thinking spot. And in college I had my thinking spot and here's the irony. It was in a Redwood forrest. I could smell the earth. I would go there and I would think my great thoughts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. But it was all very physical and very tangible. So all these things you're discussing doing in your head in a spiritual way, as far as this is how. That was physically where I started. I physically would go to my thinking spot, think my great thoughts have my whatever it was quiet my head, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> get out, certainly disconnect from, what was my current reality, which I think honestly is a big part of meditation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's, it's a way of almost stepping outside of yourself and taking an objective view. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's very interesting because you had, you physically had your meditation sanctuary space. Your meditation sanctuary was you were in it physically, but if you're in a disgusting, ugly classroom, surrounded by some ugly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, you can, you can have that meditation sanctuary wherever you go and surround yourself with that. And that's the beauty of meditation, right? Not everybody is in that Grove of redwoods, you know, in physical, real reality life; in physical life. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I just consider that as it was a helpful place to begin </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> from.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, that's a beautiful place. That's what we strive for. It's just interesting. You always start from the physical. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:56]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, I like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Right a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> lot of people need that. And that's why, for some people playing chess is a form of meditation going on a hike. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:09]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, walking meditations, there are certain Christian groups where that's what you do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You actually walk through a maze. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And, or the Catholics, the stations of the cross, you walk to every single station of the cross while thinking about what happened to JC or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> just being present and just feeling every step and being completely in the now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Exactly. And that's what the actions are about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's about coming back to where you are right now. You're not living in the past. You're not dwelling and thinking about the future. You're just in the present moment and through meditation, whatever that may be, whether it's actually meditating or whether it's going to a forest, that is how we become so grounded.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you explain why <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> it's so important to be grounded? And I love, I love the whole grounding thing. Like I said, I never would feel grounded unless I was sparring in a dojo. Okay. Being an immersed in the martial arts, because I had to completely not only be present. And have everything just lined up, like how we were saying, like the inner compass was right there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everything was balanced, but the sense of grounding was there because I needed to make sure I was energetically, aligned and rooted enough to not be knocked off my feet, you know, to be. Even if I was knocked off my feet, I was still so centered where you couldn't move me. Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the beauty of grounding and also earthing, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you're connecting to the Earth's vibration, the magnetic field.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Right. And being <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> grounded is so important because it allows your body to operate from a place of clear intuition and personal power. So you're not, you know, Willy nilly thoughts all over the place. Scatterbrained like head in the clouds is a great sign of being ungrounded. , you know where you are right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You know, there used to be this commercial a long time ago for a drink and it would show all these people walking sideways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Their bodies weren't straight up and down, but they were like walking, everyone was sideways and they were walking that way. And they were saying, if you drink this drink, you'll like, boom. They're like, sorry. Walking straight. For me, when a long time ago they were teaching me to be grounded.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had a problem with touching the earth. I was like, Ooh, no, it's polluted. And no. And then I started to actually go through the steps of grounding and it felt like. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> The those commercials I would see. Cause I felt like, oh, and it's what we learned in martial arts. Like, you know, you have this very skinny, old person sticking out their arm, but if you're grounded, they can't move your arm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're immovable. And that's what I experienced in grounding. And, and whereas where I was like, ewww, I don't want to go in the earth. I can't breathe. Like I had all these reactions to it. But when I saw myself rooted to the core of the earth. I have felt immensely powerful and calm. It could just be a simple, quick image in a split second from, for me ground, but that's grounding, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maya. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah. And to connect that back to intuition, it's the basis of all the work that not only I do in my class, but also just meditation energy medicine in general, that's the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> foundation. And so when we're grounded, that's when we make our best and most highly intuitive decisions. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you, we.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can you once again, give us a quick takeaway for grounding,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> definitely. So I would say if I'm not going to do a meditation, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> let's do both. Let's do the quick, like quick, not a whole meditation, but like some steps let's do a book quick meditation, quick grounding quick quantitation, and all this results in having a strong inner compass.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Right. Okay. Ready. Okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Quick note, everybody, before you do this, do not drive. Make sure you enter safe spot. Here we go.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> So everybody that's listening, get comfortable where you are. You can close your eyes, bring your attention to your <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> body and the chair or the cushion that you're sitting on. Focus on your breath. Breathe in for six seconds. Hold for two seconds and breathe out for eight seconds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The slow rhythm lets your body know that you're coming back to your present body and with each exhale release, any tension that you might be holding in your body.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just draining it out to the center of the earth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Bring your attention to your feet and just soften them. Focus on your ankles and release any tension that you might be holding there. Slowly. Move your awareness up your legs and your shins. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> Softening your knees.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And move up your legs, relax your thighs and your pelvis.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Relax your stomach and your chest</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and release any tension in your arms and your shoulders.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now bring your attention to your jaw and your neck. Just drop any tension down to the center of the earth. Completely softening your body</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">now on your next exhale drop a thick grounding cord of tree roots from the bottom of your feet all the way down the center.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And connect <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> that grounding cord to a gold ball,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and you can affirm, I am grounded and bounded in present time and you can give yourself a hug.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. So that was a meditation and grounding exercise.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Ah, thank you so much. Maya! Maya, please let everyone know about tools for teens and how they can get ahold of you. Classes are starting soon and you do several, right? So if you're not going to do this one coming right up, there are more coming.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah. Yes. So my next round of group classes is coming up the beginning of November. And it's going to be a four week series once a week on Sunday. Tools for teens teaches kids how to deal with social and personal and emotional <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> matters through the use of energy medicine. I offer group classes and one-to-one healings for those that need support.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">My website is mayasimone.com. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You can reach my through us over here. There's a link in our transcripts in our show notes, or you can go straight to Maya yourself. , thank you, Maya. Thank you so much. And yeah, we'll talk to you soon. Everyone take care. Have a beautiful every day. Absolutely be well, talk to you in a few days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Bye everyone. Bye bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What is an inner compass and how do we have strength in that? 
This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland 
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
The Inner Compass – TRANSCRIPT 
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. We are back we're back. 
[00:00:04] Matt: Hello? Hello. Good morning. Good evening. 
[00:00:07] Fawn: All of it. Hello at all times in all places. Yeah. And all dimensions. Hey everybody. Guess who's here. Maya Holland is here. Hi Maya. Hi. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. All over again. Here we go again. Um, you know, when I say goodbye, we've done this for years, the kids grew up like this.
We never say have a nice day because when I was working, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas and this beautiful person who was a swami at the end of our, our Workday, I was like, okay, have a nice day when we were going towards separate areas and he's like Fawn,
no, like I got so scolded, spiritually. Um, he was so wonderful, but [00:01:00] he was like, don't ever say that to someone you're condemning someone to just having one day of good. Don't you ever say that? I'm like, never again. So he taught me to say, and this is how our girls talk. Whenever we say, see you later, or bye.
They say have a beautiful every day, have a good every day. Oh, that's so cute. We never say it. We never say it. And just the, um, the opposite of the plural, you know, in the, just the one thing, SINGULAR is what I was looking for. Okay. So I digress. The 
[00:01:39] Maya: same thing with the question, how are you? It's so loaded.
It's kind of like that. You really want to know who I am. Are you just asking to be polite? You know, 
[00:01:49] Fawn: people don't care. 
[00:01:51] Maya: Yeah. I mean, if someone asks me how I am, I'm going to tell you how I'm doing. I'm going to give you all the details, but. Some people, they [00:02:00] just really don't care. 
]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:28:31</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Balance - with Maya Holland of Tools for Teens - Energy Medicine]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 25 Oct 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-balance-with-maya-holland-of-tools-for-teens-energy-medicine</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-balance-with-maya-holland-of-tools-for-teens-energy-medicine</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Today we are talking about energy balances and imbalances; how energy imbalances can result in physical things, how energy creates things, how thoughts create things.</span></span></p>
<p>This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland</p>
<p> </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p>BALANCE - TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? Hello. Welcome. Welcome guests who we have today again with us, everyone. Maya Holland is here, everybody. Yay. Welcome Maya. Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Thank you. I'm happy to be back </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Today we are talking about energy balances and imbalances; how energy imbalances can result in physical things, how energy creates things, how thoughts create things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We talk about this all the time, mind over matter. Right. Thought comes first and then you voice it and then you get physical manifestation. Boom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Your thoughts, not only do they control, like you said, your words and things that you say out loud, but that is what is attracted in the universe. So if you're always, you know, speaking negatively, then it's pretty likely you're going to have sort of a negative.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So here's what, like, whenever it was that I first heard this a long time ago was energy follows thought. Okay. But I feel like my thoughts are energetic. Do you know what I mean? So that for me, confuses me especially when I talk to Matt, because I'm sitting there minding my own business. Minding my own business, quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And Matt will say, woman, stop yelling at me. I'm like, I didn't even say a word. And he'll say your thoughts are so loud. And he actually like, in our family, we're like a little weird family, but like we totally operate telepathically always have. So they literally hear my thoughts to the point where I'm thinking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm in one room and I'm thinking about, I don't know, let's just say a glass of water and Matt will come in and say, stop yelling. I heard <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> you and hand me the glass of water. Okay. We're like that nuts. Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> my God. See, that's a sign that you guys are all so present. And so in tun...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Today we are talking about energy balances and imbalances; how energy imbalances can result in physical things, how energy creates things, how thoughts create things.
This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
BALANCE - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello? Hello. Welcome. Welcome guests who we have today again with us, everyone. Maya Holland is here, everybody. Yay. Welcome Maya. Welcome back. 
[00:00:12] Maya: Thank you. I'm happy to be back 
[00:00:15] Fawn: Today we are talking about energy balances and imbalances; how energy imbalances can result in physical things, how energy creates things, how thoughts create things.
 We talk about this all the time, mind over matter. Right. Thought comes first and then you voice it and then you get physical manifestation. Boom. 
[00:00:43] Maya: Your thoughts, not only do they control, like you said, your words and things that you say out loud, but that is what is attracted in the universe. So if you're always, you know, speaking negatively, then it's pretty likely you're going to have sort of a negative.[00:01:00] 
[00:01:00] Fawn: So here's what, like, whenever it was that I first heard this a long time ago was energy follows thought. Okay. But I feel like my thoughts are energetic. Do you know what I mean? So that for me, confuses me especially when I talk to Matt, because I'm sitting there minding my own business. Minding my own business, quiet.
And Matt will say, woman, stop yelling at me. I'm like, I didn't even say a word. And he'll say your thoughts are so loud. And he actually like, in our family, we're like a little weird family, but like we totally operate telepathically always have. So they literally hear my thoughts to the point where I'm thinking.
I'm in one room and I'm thinking about, I don't know, let's just say a glass of water and Matt will come in and say, stop yelling. I heard [00:02:00] you and hand me the glass of water. Okay. We're like that nuts. Oh 
[00:02:04] Maya: my God. See, that's a sign that you guys are all so present. And so in tun...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Balance - with Maya Holland of Tools for Teens - Energy Medicine]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Today we are talking about energy balances and imbalances; how energy imbalances can result in physical things, how energy creates things, how thoughts create things.</span></span></p>
<p>This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland</p>
<p> </p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p>BALANCE - TRANSCRIPT</p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello? Hello. Welcome. Welcome guests who we have today again with us, everyone. Maya Holland is here, everybody. Yay. Welcome Maya. Welcome back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Thank you. I'm happy to be back </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Today we are talking about energy balances and imbalances; how energy imbalances can result in physical things, how energy creates things, how thoughts create things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We talk about this all the time, mind over matter. Right. Thought comes first and then you voice it and then you get physical manifestation. Boom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Your thoughts, not only do they control, like you said, your words and things that you say out loud, but that is what is attracted in the universe. So if you're always, you know, speaking negatively, then it's pretty likely you're going to have sort of a negative.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So here's what, like, whenever it was that I first heard this a long time ago was energy follows thought. Okay. But I feel like my thoughts are energetic. Do you know what I mean? So that for me, confuses me especially when I talk to Matt, because I'm sitting there minding my own business. Minding my own business, quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And Matt will say, woman, stop yelling at me. I'm like, I didn't even say a word. And he'll say your thoughts are so loud. And he actually like, in our family, we're like a little weird family, but like we totally operate telepathically always have. So they literally hear my thoughts to the point where I'm thinking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm in one room and I'm thinking about, I don't know, let's just say a glass of water and Matt will come in and say, stop yelling. I heard <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> you and hand me the glass of water. Okay. We're like that nuts. Oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> my God. See, that's a sign that you guys are all so present. And so in tune is that what's happening?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Stuff like that happens to me all the time. And it's always so crazy to see. Your thoughts and visions manifest in physical form. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Like nothing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> like that happened to me the other day. oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the other day I. was going to meet up with a friend for a drink and. I kept thinking, oh, one of our other friends is probably going to be there. I won't text him. So I show up to the place and both of them are there and I just started laughing and I said, oh my God, I knew you were going to be here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's why I didn't text you. And he said, well, how did you know? You're just making up for the fact that you didn't text me. And I said, no, no, I, I actually knew. But like, I couldn't prove it. It's just, I had a thought when I was on the bus ride <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> and then. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Good happened. See that kind of stuff happens all the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And maybe it's just me and my circle of friends when I was growing up, we were, that's how we operated. There was no questioning at that's how we operate. But, but then like, you know, I meet Matt who I assumed was not intuitive like me. Cause you know, he's, he's really good at math. He's really good at business.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He's so logical. Like if you put us together I'm so I could be hotheaded and I could be like all loving. Like all my emotions are right there. You can see them. I hide nothing. But with Matt. When you first look at Matt, it's harder for most people to read Matt. So you would think Matt is like the most total, like by the book logical person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And so what I'm saying is I'm like the opposite, but I totally forgot what I was saying now. What was I saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> All your friends were very intuitive </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> and oh, I, because of Matt's profession and because Matt's what he's interested in. Like, you know, he loves math and everything. I assumed that there's no way he could be intuitive and he's more intuitive than I am.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like really, really talented. He can, he can from far away. when we became friends we would play these games ,out in the world. Like he would read people and he would pick out something that was so outrageous. I'm like no way </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:37]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> on our honeymoon was, is the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> classic example.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Classic example. I wish we could come up with other ones. I think we've talked about this one before, but okay. Here we go. So we're sitting on the beach and, well, let's just put it in city blocks. So we're like, I don't know, three blocks away from someone. So in there there's a crowd. He picks <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> out one person and he says, okay, you see that guy with a corduroy or whatever, you know, like, or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He had a backpack. I'm like, okay, I see him. Okay. He's like, okay. Um, at one o'clock like, you know, like picturing a clock and saying, okay, so we got the pinpoint, like we know exactly who we we're talking about. I'm like, yeah, got him. Okay. And he said that guy and all he was doing was standing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But he had a backpack on, he was wearing, he was wearing long trousers.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He had a long sleeve shirt on. He wasn't really dressed for the beach. Okay. Well </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's clue number one. Okay. Okay. So, but what I'm trying to say is Matt saw someone from three blocks away and said to me, see that guy right there. And mind you, he does this with everybody. Okay. So not just the guy that is dressed a little differently, right? We do this at coffee shops too. Like he'll pick out what car someone drives. The car game is fun, and then <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> we'll kind of follow them and they get into that car. Like the car that he described, this person would probably drive. So we're at the beach. He's like this guy is a Bible Thumper.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, what is that? I never knew what a Bible </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Thumper was. We know what that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is. Do you want to explain what a Bible Thumper is? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:20]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Way too much slang because I read way too much, too many time periods. But a Bible Thumper is one of those traditional terms where like the preacher would be giving a sermon and he would keep hitting his Bible as he was giving his sermon.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is somebody very passionate about his Christianity, which we tend to ascribe to like , a serious born again, Christian. But, um, you know, in some cases it can be more forceful than in other cases. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Matt's like, this guy is a Bible Thumper. I'm like no way. And then we forgot about it, right? We go about our day at the beach.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then sometime later we ended up walking past <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> this guy and lo and behold, as we do, he pulls out a Bible and start talking to someone in front of him. Some versus some texts out of the Bible. What </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> do you know? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God. So back to intuition and just reading. That's how good he is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Practice practice practice </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> though.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's all in the practice is a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Matt. Actually, this, this is a whole show right here, because I'm like, how do you do that? How in the world do you do that? And you have a very beautiful philosophy about that. About really connecting with people like that, to. Information on someone like that. It's really quite beautiful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But anyway, so as we're talking about all this, this is just to let you know Maya, like our family. I'm not sure if we're considered crazy or not, but this is how we operate. So. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> That's the best place. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So my first question, even before we start our <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> show, which is we're talking about energy imbalances and how they can result in physical, DIS_EASE, and really disease comes from an uneasy feeling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">When your realm around you is a little messed up a little off kilter it can eventually. W it's like layers. Matt always says it's an onion. It's like an energetic onion, like all the energetic layers. And eventually they come down to your physical body. It's like a space around you. And. Eventually result in a physical manifestation, much like you think about ice cream, ice cream, ice cream and low and behold there's ice cream all around you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Or if you're thinking, oh, I really liked this. Car like, uh, I don't know, cars, Matt, name a car quickly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:55]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Subaru WRX, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> STI. Okay. Whatever that is. If I keep <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> thinking about it, I will start seeing them everywhere. Right. They show up everywhere, whatever that is. And so. That's what we're talking about is that correct?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But how energy imbalances can result in physical dis ease discomfort. Matt doesn't want to use the word disease because it's so negative, but it's dis-ease physical symptoms not feeling easy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I think the first thing. I'll touch on really goes back to what you were saying about, the different layers and how your energy bodies are kind of like an onion because every living being has what's called an aura.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So for people that haven't heard that term before, it's basically just your energy that surrounds you and it's kind of like your second skin. So. Our skin keeps our organs healthy and intact. And if we didn't have our skin, obviously <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> we'd get highly infected with dirt and grime. And like our guts would be spilling everywhere.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So your aura is kind of like that for your energy bodies. So when your aura is really healthy and full and alive, You are healthy and full and alive, but when your aura is very depleted and there's holes in it, and it's weak, you are suddenly not as full of yourself. And you start to show physical symptoms and there's different, levels of things that can be out of balance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But that's kind of the main, I guess, umbrella of energetic imbalances and how they can physically affect you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The first time I was around your group of people, Maya, the first time I heard them say that I thought I misunderstood what they said, cause they were saying you really need to be full of yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like: Say what now??? I need to be full of myself because that's such a negative. Um, it has such a negative connotation, like, oh, this person's full of themselves, but I totally understand what you're saying. You <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> need to totally embody yourself. You can't have it. You can't walk around bleeding everywhere or like, you know, bleeding, energetically, I guess.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And when you're, I'm sorry. That's okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Not only does that affect you, it also affects the people around you as well. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? I mean, in, in a good way or a positive way, it's like when you show up in a room, you show up before your physical body does, they can sense you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">We did a show.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We were talking about plants and the secret life of cells and a long time ago, I don't know how many years ago. And there was a scientist who hooked up his lie, detecting machine to his plants. And he was just monitoring levels of just many different levels. And so one day he was bringing a pot of coffee or something, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He had boiling hot water and some spilled by <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> accident on one of the plants and the plant that was hooked up to the lie detecting machine. It starts spiking like crazy. Like it showed distress, over seeing this other plant being scalded by boiling water. And so he noticed this and he thought to himself, like in his own thoughts, he thought, let me try this again, but I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna pour the boiling water this time, but I'm going to pretend like I'm going to and see, if this happens again, like, was it an, what do you call it, Mattan anomoly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Right. So he goes to do it again, and he's looking at the plant and he's like, okay, I'm going to pour what he's thinking to himself. I'm going to pour boiling water on this thing. And this time the plant didn't have any reaction. But he had done it enough to realize that the plant could actually feel him and his thoughts and knew the plant knew that he was not going to go through with it this time.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so there's a whole series of events and he monitored this plant and how our energies are actually totally intertwined and how we can feel each other. So this plant was hooked up to the light detecting machine. The guy goes about his normal day outside of the apartment, outside of his home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he, I think one day he gets into a little car fender bender. He's recording everything that happens to him throughout the day with a time-check like at 3 0 5, this is what happened, you know? So he comes back and he looks at the ledger. That's connected to the light detecting machine and the plants and everything at precisely the moment he got into an accident, the plants had a reaction, the same kind of reaction with the boiling water.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this is to show like, I mean, Maya is this part of the auric field, our energetic field, how we can sense each other. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> It is. I mean, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> I don't know if you guys have ever walked into a room and you feel just the energy drop or lift depending on where you were previously. And that's literally a culmination of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everybody's energy and the vibe that they create in the room that you're in. And I mean, every living being, including plants has an aura. So even though it might sound kind of crazy that they felt it, of course they did. If you think about it, Yeah, that's so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> cool. Once again, this is how we operate. We're at the store, I'm like, we got to get out of here or all of a sudden I feel something I'm literally picking things up from the next aisle over, you know, and, and, you know, but I'm learning to contain myself and be full of myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it doesn't totally like Pierce me so hard so that I'm not so messed up the rest of the day. That's one thing that I always have to work on is I'm I feel <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> like my field is way too open, you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> know, and that's why it's important to keep, updating and through meditation and just mindfulness, cleaning out your energy bodies, strengthening them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So gross energies like that. Don't infect your. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or just like, it doesn't even have to be gross. Right. Like I just, I, I dunno. I, I, I feel everything well, it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:29]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> almost like you're getting drawn into other people's drama on a, on a sub level, on a level that's not necessarily something that you register, but you can feel it in the room </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I embody it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The only time I don't embody it is when I'm actually practicing martial arts. With martial arts, everything syncs up for me and I'm completely present, I guess, full of myself as, as you guys would say. Right. And I, I'm not affected to that hardcore <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> level of, I feel like I need to go and hide under my comforter, you know, hide under my pillow for the rest of the day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I feel like I can handle it. It's not going to knock me over. Right. And so is that what happens when you feel the imbalance? Like how would you describe an energy imbalance? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Well, it can kind of take a couple of different forms. For example, it can show itself physically. It can show itself mentally.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this will happen for me a lot. I start overthinking everything. I get a little bit anxious. I get pretty sad and just kind of like there's a gray cloud over me. And then you're also very susceptible to attracting other people's energies and not being able to make the best decisions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, for example, if you're not keeping up with updating your <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> energies, then you're basically going to get infected with everybody else's energy. You can't differentiate your opinions, your thoughts, your feelings from those around you. And then it becomes either hard to make decisions or you physically show symptoms.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you describe some of these symptoms, especially for younger people? What do you think is really happening as far as what are some energetic imbalances and what are some physical things that happen when you're off balance? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah, well, so there's actually this book that I really liked by Francesca McCartney.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's who I know you're studying with and that's who I got my certification from, but it's called the body of health. And there's this excerpt from it that says you can quickly self-diagnosis in the present. As you are able to immediately sense the first signs of <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> Dis-ease, dash in there and choose to make a healing change.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Repressed anger is an emotion that pollutes health and is easy enough to change into cleansing anger expressed with right thought and an objective perspective. Anger can be transformed by communicating your feelings while holding your perception in present time. So I think that kind of alludes to the fact that you can have</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">these emotions, but the more you ignore them, the more that these physical symptoms start to show. So some of them, if we're just talking about the chakra system specifically, if you focus on the first chakra, so that's in charge of your grounding and survival information is located at the base of your spine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if it's unbalanced or ungrounded, you often have excessive anger. People get really stressed out and they become obsessed with like materialistic things. And <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> then in terms of the body, it can show itself as knee pain, oftentimes a really low immune system. So getting sick often or eating disorders are really common connection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's just kind of one example, but I can go into a couple more if you got, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, it, it almost sounds like the classic guy thing, like, you know, we, we keep it together. We keep it together. We keep it together and then we explode.. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Right </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:25]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> because we're exempt hold all kinds of really negative energies inside and we don't let them out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Unless of course we do it in one of the sanction male ways, like, you know, boxing or, you know, something, maybe it's not great, but it's, it's one of those things and it. We get into the whole logic versus emotion, because I have logically speaking that all makes perfect sense and, you know, disconnected from the given scenario again.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, absolutely. It makes perfect sense. Yes. You need to deal with your emotions. Absolutely. When you have the emotions, it can be really hard to, to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> hear that exist in the world. In the world of conflict, emotion, always trumps logic. It's just the way it goes, because we're willing to burn everything from an emotional point of view, we just don't care.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what do you do when there's such imbalance in that first chakra? When, when there is such imbalance of, , material stuff, right. So when you're in the thick of it, what would you do? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> So if I don't really have time to meditate, I really like to journal that just kind of helps me. All my thoughts out on paper and I can kind of process them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then from there, I'll go into meditation where there's a couple of processes that I like to use to clear out that energy, basically drain it and fill it back up with my personal life force and healing. energy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:57]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's interesting. You mentioned drain. Cause I would say <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> for me, you know, when I, when I'm in one of these imbalanced states, um, you know, doing a workout to exhaustion or, you know, it's like, it's like, I just need a win.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. That's it. I don't care what the win is. I just need one. So I need, you know, a barista at a coffee place to give me an extra shot of espresso who knows it's it, it can be the tiniest stupidest thing. So it's either that, or I have to work myself to exhaustion and actually do something it's not about being at a gym.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's about climbing up climbing a hill or a mountain, you know, on a bike. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And do you guys think, like thinking about this energy center of the body and it having to do with the basic needs, right? The earthly needs. Bottom, not bottom. Bottom's not a good term for it, but like basically your earthly needs, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is what this chakra represents. This is what this energy system represents. Do you think this is why people get so obsessed, especially at a certain <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> age, like in high school, especially so obsessed with shoes and clothing and material. Things around you like so obsessive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I think one of the main reasons that a lot of teens can become really materialistic in high school. And of course, obviously there's reasons outside of this, that play a role, but the root chakra or the first chakra is responsible for our sense of safety and security on earth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so when that becomes infected, you feel very insecure. You don't really know who you are. It's hard to kind of plant your feet on the ground. And so people tend to find comfort with materialistic things because they feel like that gives them more safety and something solid. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This makes sense. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah, but it can also each chakra because it's in charge of different parts of the body<span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">imbalances have different effects. So for example, the third chakra is located, mid stomach, so solar plexus, it's in charge of vitality, your personal power, your dreams, and when it's in balance, you have really high self-esteem and self-compassion. But when it's unbalanced, you have a really big fear of rejection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're very critical of yourself and then physically tired, dizzy digestive problems and on a long-term level, chronic tiredness. So that would be, if you don't really deal with the issues, they become really longterm.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So going back to the. Matt you were saying it's interesting because I was saying, why do you think we concentrate so much on physical things like shoes and physical appearances and say again, what you were saying to us before. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> In many <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> ways, like certainly a new pair of shoes or I'm supposing a new purse, but you know, new pants and shirt, whatever it is, it's like, it's almost like armor or a hug or a, you know, uh, something it's protection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It can be protection. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. It's interesting because, so we were, we were talking about from the outside and then coming in, we were talking about the auric field, your energetic field, the space around you, but. It's interesting that we tend to go the opposite way when we don't have these tools. So I'm going to build a field of protection around me by having this shoe or this jacket.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Whereas you wouldn't even need all that stuff. If you have these tools to have like a spiritual coat on or spiritual armor because no, nothing can pierce you. Well, you know, you're way more protected than any jacket you would acquire </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> and you have <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> tools to deal with those problems if they do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right. It was just fascinating.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that's, that's just the first energy system; what we call the first chakra, which is usually red. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yes. And it can vary from person to person, but yeah, mostly red </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it goes ROYGBIV red, orange yellow. It took me a while. I'm like, oh my God, that's with the rainbow also. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> learned that in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Oh my God. I think first grade. Do you still remember that or did you just. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I've learned in college, actually, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I didn't even know that the colors of the rainbow until I was in my thirties. I, you know, I never thought about it. I'm like, well look </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:43]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the rainbow. But then what's interesting is as we know, from pink, Floyd's dark side of the moon.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm showing on the prism, generating the rainbow from a w uh, white light. Yeah, there's different frequencies. Each color has its own wavelength or frequency or <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> something because I ignored that day in physics, but yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And so do the chakras and each yeah. And that's basically, that's what, that's what my is talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Maya, you have different frequencies depending on what chakra you're talking about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Exactly. And just like chakras have different frequencies colors do as well. I mean in the energy medicine world, each color is associated with a different healing technique because they all possess different vibrations.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's just really interesting how it's all </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">connected. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So my question right now in this short span of time of this tiny little episode of this podcast, Maya, can you maybe point out what the biggest thing, a biggest takeaway is right now for teens, especially what is it that's resulting in an energy imbalance, mostly for teens right now in <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> today's world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't want to be being so generalized or being generalizing too much, but just for the sake of time, before they take your courses tools for teens before they come and they work with you, if you could give us a little tidbit right now, what would you say is the main thing that most teens in today's world are dealing with as far as energy imbalance?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What do you think? What have you seen? What do you feel is happening? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I think this is going to be a little bit general, but I think that the biggest imbalance teens are experiencing today is the struggle of self identity and figuring out how to differentiate who they are, what their opinions are, how they feel from the situations and people that they're surrounded with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">That's something that a lot of kids have the goal of, I guess, discovering when they <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> came to my first round of classes, a lot of kids said, I just want to be able to come back to my body and understand how my energy feels and truly what it looks like. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's a major accomplishment to even come up with that thought, because when I'm in the thick of things, the last thing I feel like I'm asking is how do I, what is it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Where's my field. Do you know what I mean? I feel so scattered and so on other people like, you know what I mean? That I don't even realize, wow. I'm not even thinking about where do I stand in this. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> completely understand. I think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's pretty evolved to even come up with that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I know kids these days. I mean, like I mentioned, in our previous episode, kids are so intuitive and I think they, they sense it, but they don't necessarily know how to put words to it, but that's why I'm so happy that intuition and <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> meditation is more accepted</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">this day and age, because it gives them an outlet. That's not just like therapy or psychiatry or things that are a little bit more things that aren't as abstract. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. I mean, when I was, when I was a teenager, I knew that, , the way my family lived yeah. And they're their thoughts. Weren't my thoughts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I knew that, even my friends, thoughts were not necessarily my thoughts. They were certainly closer, but they weren't quite there. And so I was just this bundled ball of anger because I didn't know how to express that. I didn't know how to, um, you know, go through and experience other than in some very, very limited ways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right guys, for me, All I could hear were other people's thoughts and other people's wills that I felt like I had just had my arms up, like shielding my head and like a prisoner, just marking an <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> X on the calendar because I'm like, I need to get out of here because there's no way I even have the ability or the space to express myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I needed to get out. I was just holding it all in holding my breath. To get out of the situation, which has </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> everything. Right. And I know that that's something that a lot of teens, kids and young adults struggle with, because if you don't have an outlet, whether that's like you were saying Matt exercise going on a walk, listening to music meditation, if you don't have an outlet,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you just bottle up all these energies and then eventually they're going to explode, but something that I really like to do in times where I just feel really scatterbrained and kind of, not myself. I imagine casting a huge <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> golden net across the entire globe and just collecting it kind of like you would a fishing net.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And any places that I've been in the past couple of days, weeks, months, just pulling all my energy inside of that, imagining it on top of my head and then just falling over me. So all my energies are now back into my body. That's kind of like a quick little exercise you can do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you so much for that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So to get all these tools, to, to have a balanced everything, a balanced life, a balanced mental life, a balanced physical life. This is what Maya teaches everyone, and you can reach her. You can go to, Maya's website. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Maya, simone.com. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> She has a workshop. She's the founder of tools for teens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Can our listeners right now sign up and be a part of this community with you? Yes, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I'm going to be leading a group class, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> starting sometime in November date to be determined very soon. And. Tools for teens is basically a resource for kids to deal with social and emotional issues through the use of energy medicine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I offer group classes and one-on-one guided meditations where teens can develop these tools. My website is Maya simone.com and my email is also posted. It's maya@mayasimone.com. I'm always happy to answer questions or connect with people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you so much for being with us and thank you for the series we're doing with you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We really appreciate you being with us and, and doing all of this. This is so important. Your work is great, and our kids are also working with you. And we're so happy about that. Um, all right. And everyone <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> reach out to Maya, reach out to us. We're all here for one another. This is our home. This is our, the world is our home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The world is a small town and everyone's on your side. That's what I say to Matt when we're driving, I'm like, don't get mad at that person who just flipped us off on the road. That's our friend, our friend is having a bad day. Everyone's on our side. It's all right. They need to go to the bathroom. They're in a hurry.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're upset. So anyway, we're all here for each other. Thank you so much, Maya. And we'll talk to you in a few days. Reach out to Maya, reach out to us. We're all here for you. Talk to you in a few days, everybody. Bye. Bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Today we are talking about energy balances and imbalances; how energy imbalances can result in physical things, how energy creates things, how thoughts create things.
This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com  Email: maya@mayasimone.com Instagram: @maya.holland
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
BALANCE - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello? Hello. Welcome. Welcome guests who we have today again with us, everyone. Maya Holland is here, everybody. Yay. Welcome Maya. Welcome back. 
[00:00:12] Maya: Thank you. I'm happy to be back 
[00:00:15] Fawn: Today we are talking about energy balances and imbalances; how energy imbalances can result in physical things, how energy creates things, how thoughts create things.
 We talk about this all the time, mind over matter. Right. Thought comes first and then you voice it and then you get physical manifestation. Boom. 
[00:00:43] Maya: Your thoughts, not only do they control, like you said, your words and things that you say out loud, but that is what is attracted in the universe. So if you're always, you know, speaking negatively, then it's pretty likely you're going to have sort of a negative.[00:01:00] 
[00:01:00] Fawn: So here's what, like, whenever it was that I first heard this a long time ago was energy follows thought. Okay. But I feel like my thoughts are energetic. Do you know what I mean? So that for me, confuses me especially when I talk to Matt, because I'm sitting there minding my own business. Minding my own business, quiet.
And Matt will say, woman, stop yelling at me. I'm like, I didn't even say a word. And he'll say your thoughts are so loud. And he actually like, in our family, we're like a little weird family, but like we totally operate telepathically always have. So they literally hear my thoughts to the point where I'm thinking.
I'm in one room and I'm thinking about, I don't know, let's just say a glass of water and Matt will come in and say, stop yelling. I heard [00:02:00] you and hand me the glass of water. Okay. We're like that nuts. Oh 
[00:02:04] Maya: my God. See, that's a sign that you guys are all so present. And so in tun...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:34:57</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Miyamoto Musashi's Rules]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Fri, 22 Oct 2021 20:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/miyamoto-musashi39s-rules</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/miyamoto-musashi39s-rules</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Rules to live by!</p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. You guys. So we were talking about the book of the five rings by Miyamoto Musashi Musashi. Yes exactly. I always get that wrong. Okay. So these are the nine rules. And so this is a major warrior. Forgive me, like, correct me if I'm wrong, Matt, major warriors, samurai, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the samurai </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he's the samurai.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he had nine rules of the way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right grant that he felt would help guide you down the path. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So these were his nine rules and this is why we're going to discuss, and we took intuition, out of one of these rules, two of these rules, right? So...</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Rule 1: Do not think dishonestly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 2: The way is in training.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we've gone over this on our previous episodes guys, it's just, uh, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> we're just, uh, re reflection. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 3: Become acquainted with every art. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 4: Know the ways of all professions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 5: Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And the one we focused on today, intuition will know that's the next role I was hoping.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Number six. All right. All right. Calm down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 6: Develop intuitive judgment, and understanding for everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm going to repeat that. Develop intuitive judgment and understanding for everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 7: Perceive those things which can not be seen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's a big one. Again, I'm going to repeat that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Nu...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Rules to live by!
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Okay. You guys. So we were talking about the book of the five rings by Miyamoto Musashi Musashi. Yes exactly. I always get that wrong. Okay. So these are the nine rules. And so this is a major warrior. Forgive me, like, correct me if I'm wrong, Matt, major warriors, samurai, 
[00:00:23] Matt: the samurai 
[00:00:24] Fawn: he's the samurai.
And so he had nine rules of the way. 
[00:00:33] Matt: Right grant that he felt would help guide you down the path. Yes. 
[00:00:36] Fawn: So these were his nine rules and this is why we're going to discuss, and we took intuition, out of one of these rules, two of these rules, right? So...
 Rule 1: Do not think dishonestly. 
Rule 2: The way is in training.
And we've gone over this on our previous episodes guys, it's just, uh, [00:01:00] we're just, uh, re reflection. 
Rule 3: Become acquainted with every art. 
Rule 4: Know the ways of all professions.
Rule 5: Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters. 
[00:01:24] Matt: And the one we focused on today, intuition will know that's the next role I was hoping.
Oh, I'm sorry. 
[00:01:31] Fawn: Number six. All right. All right. Calm down. 
Rule 6: Develop intuitive judgment, and understanding for everything.
 I'm going to repeat that. Develop intuitive judgment and understanding for everything. 
Rule 7: Perceive those things which can not be seen. 
That's a big one. Again, I'm going to repeat that.
Nu...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Miyamoto Musashi's Rules]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Rules to live by!</p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. You guys. So we were talking about the book of the five rings by Miyamoto Musashi Musashi. Yes exactly. I always get that wrong. Okay. So these are the nine rules. And so this is a major warrior. Forgive me, like, correct me if I'm wrong, Matt, major warriors, samurai, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the samurai </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> he's the samurai.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he had nine rules of the way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right grant that he felt would help guide you down the path. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So these were his nine rules and this is why we're going to discuss, and we took intuition, out of one of these rules, two of these rules, right? So...</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Rule 1: Do not think dishonestly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 2: The way is in training.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we've gone over this on our previous episodes guys, it's just, uh, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> we're just, uh, re reflection. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 3: Become acquainted with every art. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 4: Know the ways of all professions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 5: Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And the one we focused on today, intuition will know that's the next role I was hoping.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh, I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Number six. All right. All right. Calm down. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 6: Develop intuitive judgment, and understanding for everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I'm going to repeat that. Develop intuitive judgment and understanding for everything. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 7: Perceive those things which can not be seen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's a big one. Again, I'm going to repeat that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Number seven, perceive those things which <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> cannot be seen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 8: Pay attention, even to trifles. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's the little things that give you the most information. Certainly can be definitely things that people ignore them. All right. All right. All right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Rule 9: Do nothing which is of no use. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we were doing shows on every single rule.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I was just, I was just idly questioning, you know, which one do you think is the least important, which is kind of a fun question to ask because that's certainly one I struggle with, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I would say number nine. I'm sorry. My, what, what do you think it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> was looking at them? It's so hard to decide, but I.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Let's say number nine. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yay. Me too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:55]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Okay. So I think that to me, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> do things that are of no use are like watching mindless TV or just kind of lollygagging, but. Sometimes you just need to do that. I think, oh my God, the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> TV has saved my life, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but it, but, but here's where it gets fun. I'm sorry. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I had to wait, wait, wait.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm so sorry. Hold your thought. I totally interrupted Maya. Maya, what did you just say? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Doing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">things that are of no use sometimes are how you just veg out. If your brain is always on all the time, how are you ever supposed to relax and just chill out. My </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> number nine is to me. I love you. You are my sister.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you. Thinking, oh Matt, I have spent, what is </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that? Like? I discovered these rules when I was probably 15, 16, which is a great time to discover them. And I've, I've dissected every single one, like over the course of it feels like years and I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> find that there's an interweaving. And so when we start plucking it, this one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">On the surface level, I would a hundred percent agree that that seems like it's not a big deal. Yeah. But between one, two and nine, do not think dishonestly the way is in training and do nothing, which is of no use. There was actually a point in time. Owing to the intricacies of the time. Musashi found himself at the house of the leading cortisone or prostitute in all of Edo, which is I think Tokyo now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he was sitting there very stiffly and there was the house of Yoshioka outside. And it's a whole story. I mean, this, this thing is big, but there was basically 50 men outside looking for his blood because he had slain, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, anyways. And she said, you are too rigid. You need to loosen up. And he was like, what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then she took a loot that she had made. It's an eight string <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> instrument and she cut it open. And she showed him that the way that this instrument is able to make all the sounds is not because there are straight lines, but because there is a curved form inside. You have to give yourself over to relaxing and pleasure and everything else that is of use and Musashi was considered a great painter as well as a great swordsman.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Is that one. So many great martial artists are into tea ceremony and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the tea ceremony is very rigid and calligraphy. Yes, absolutely. It's because Musashi studied these things as well. He had a great friendship with a tea master in Japan. So I only, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Jackie Chan is into collecting teacups. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know what's going on with Jackie.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, he's Chinese, not Japanese. Careful. I didn't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> say he was Japanese. I'm just, no, I'm just talking about tea. Relax everybody. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I always say that everybody should have at least one hobby. They should feel no need to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> defend </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it. And I was also thinking martial arts. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You know, I agree with you 100% where you're like, it's important to vege out to TV.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I totally get it. Thank you. That is of use. Yes. That is the tricky. The way it is in training makes a person feel like they always have to be studying. And there are points in time where it's important to rest and recharge. I mean, your body basically tells you a third of your life. You need to be recharging at least because we have to sleep and teenagers </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> need a lot of sleep, a lot of food and a lot of sleep </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then the trick is, and now how it ties into do not think dishonesty, which is the kind of the third one that. The points of intersection are very interesting is don't lie to yourself. I'm vegging out to recharge to have fun and that is indeed part of my training or part of my life or part of my, because you know, the way is in your life really is how I perceived number two as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So these things are <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> very intricate, subtle, so many levels, and honestly, the least important of them is all of them because all of them in my mind are equally important. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Of course, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> because if you focus too much on one, it can become the worst. If you're doing nothing, if you're doing everything of no use all of the time and that becomes your life, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Of course, that's going to be the worst one, but if you're focusing on number two all of the time, then your greatest success could also be your greatest downfall, right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. If you're always training, then at some point you become the Willow tree and the wind comes and you break </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> problem, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but that's just it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, this, this man was absurd as far as how connected, how his philosophy. They study this Japanese businessmen study this. So therefore American businessmen study this to try and get a sense of the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> Japanese mindset, whatever that means. You know, there's a reason why this guy is so highly regarded.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wow. Yeah, I know, I know it thrashes Eastern philosophy to the Western mind. It thrashes us and it's just what it is. There's a Zen story where men walks into a butcher shop and he says, I want your best cut of meat. And the man says, all my cuts are best. Well, what do you do with that? Well, it also means all my cuts are worst because you know, there you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it depends on what you put into it, but anyways, it was like way too deep to get into at the end of a podcast recording. So I was just, I was just curious. I, I liked throwing out these really, really weird random questions like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that. Them. Forced me to think, well, this is, this is conversation right here.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right? Whatever blows in the wind that comes towards us, the genius that's whispering. This is, this is the art of connection, but <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> anyway, all right. Okay. So, okay. Here we go.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[Rules to live by!
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Okay. You guys. So we were talking about the book of the five rings by Miyamoto Musashi Musashi. Yes exactly. I always get that wrong. Okay. So these are the nine rules. And so this is a major warrior. Forgive me, like, correct me if I'm wrong, Matt, major warriors, samurai, 
[00:00:23] Matt: the samurai 
[00:00:24] Fawn: he's the samurai.
And so he had nine rules of the way. 
[00:00:33] Matt: Right grant that he felt would help guide you down the path. Yes. 
[00:00:36] Fawn: So these were his nine rules and this is why we're going to discuss, and we took intuition, out of one of these rules, two of these rules, right? So...
 Rule 1: Do not think dishonestly. 
Rule 2: The way is in training.
And we've gone over this on our previous episodes guys, it's just, uh, [00:01:00] we're just, uh, re reflection. 
Rule 3: Become acquainted with every art. 
Rule 4: Know the ways of all professions.
Rule 5: Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters. 
[00:01:24] Matt: And the one we focused on today, intuition will know that's the next role I was hoping.
Oh, I'm sorry. 
[00:01:31] Fawn: Number six. All right. All right. Calm down. 
Rule 6: Develop intuitive judgment, and understanding for everything.
 I'm going to repeat that. Develop intuitive judgment and understanding for everything. 
Rule 7: Perceive those things which can not be seen. 
That's a big one. Again, I'm going to repeat that.
Nu...]]>
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                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/20211022-123017.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:10:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Intuition - The Art of the Start with Maya Holland - Tools for Teens]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Oct 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/intuition-the-art-of-the-start-with-maya-holland-tools-for-teens</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/intuition-the-art-of-the-start-with-maya-holland-tools-for-teens</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<div>This episode begins a series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit <a href="http://mayasimone.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mayasimone.com</a></div>
<div>Website: <a href="http://mayasimone.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mayasimone.com</a> https://mayasimone.com/home</div>
<div>Email: <a href="mailto:maya@mayasimone.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">maya@mayasimone.com</a></div>
<div>Instagram: @maya.holland </div>
<p align="left">If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Intuition – The Art of the Start with Maya Holland – Tools for Teens TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Maya Modo Musashi, regarded as the sword Saint, the Kensei the folklorish hero, historical figure samurai in feudal Japan. Story from his life: he was visiting a Lord, one of the various daimyo's of the land, at his invitation. He was sitting in a room. The Lord took him and said, okay, come with me to this other room, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">They got slightly separated and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hold on one second. So, uh, Damon is</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> A Damio </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> A damio. So that's the boss. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Think of him as like a Lord or a Baron or a, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the samurais work for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes. Samurais do. And then the Ronins are, they was samurai who do not have currently have a Lord.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And at that point Musashi was a Ronin. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Anyways. They got briefly separated going through, his castle and he motioned to him from across a courtyard. He's like, yeah, I'm over here, come this way. And the courtyard was dark and Musashi sensed something.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He couldn't put his finger on it, but he sensed something and he realized, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wait, am I going to get scared? Is someone going to get chopped in half? Quiet? You someone's going to get...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode begins a series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com
Website: mayasimone.com https://mayasimone.com/home
Email: maya@mayasimone.com
Instagram: @maya.holland 
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
Intuition – The Art of the Start with Maya Holland – Tools for Teens TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Matt: Maya Modo Musashi, regarded as the sword Saint, the Kensei the folklorish hero, historical figure samurai in feudal Japan. Story from his life: he was visiting a Lord, one of the various daimyo's of the land, at his invitation. He was sitting in a room. The Lord took him and said, okay, come with me to this other room, 
 They got slightly separated and 
[00:00:23] Fawn: hold on one second. So, uh, Damon is
[00:00:26] Matt: A Damio 
[00:00:27] Fawn: A damio. So that's the boss. 
[00:00:29] Matt: Think of him as like a Lord or a Baron or a, 
[00:00:32] Fawn: the samurais work for 
[00:00:34] Matt: yes. Samurais do. And then the Ronins are, they was samurai who do not have currently have a Lord.
And at that point Musashi was a Ronin. 
 Anyways. They got briefly separated going through, his castle and he motioned to him from across a courtyard. He's like, yeah, I'm over here, come this way. And the courtyard was dark and Musashi sensed something.[00:01:00] 
He couldn't put his finger on it, but he sensed something and he realized, 
[00:01:04] Fawn: wait, am I going to get scared? Is someone going to get chopped in half? Quiet? You someone's going to get...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Intuition - The Art of the Start with Maya Holland - Tools for Teens]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<div>This episode begins a series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit <a href="http://mayasimone.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mayasimone.com</a></div>
<div>Website: <a href="http://mayasimone.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mayasimone.com</a> https://mayasimone.com/home</div>
<div>Email: <a href="mailto:maya@mayasimone.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">maya@mayasimone.com</a></div>
<div>Instagram: @maya.holland </div>
<p align="left">If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Intuition – The Art of the Start with Maya Holland – Tools for Teens TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Maya Modo Musashi, regarded as the sword Saint, the Kensei the folklorish hero, historical figure samurai in feudal Japan. Story from his life: he was visiting a Lord, one of the various daimyo's of the land, at his invitation. He was sitting in a room. The Lord took him and said, okay, come with me to this other room, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">They got slightly separated and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> hold on one second. So, uh, Damon is</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> A Damio </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> A damio. So that's the boss. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Think of him as like a Lord or a Baron or a, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> the samurais work for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yes. Samurais do. And then the Ronins are, they was samurai who do not have currently have a Lord.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And at that point Musashi was a Ronin. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Anyways. They got briefly separated going through, his castle and he motioned to him from across a courtyard. He's like, yeah, I'm over here, come this way. And the courtyard was dark and Musashi sensed something.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He couldn't put his finger on it, but he sensed something and he realized, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wait, am I going to get scared? Is someone going to get chopped in half? Quiet? You someone's going to get quiet you. Well, just </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's just a story. Take it easy. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Someone going to get chopped in half? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> This is at the point where he is much more enlightened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyways, he felt something wasn't right. He realized there was an alternate path around this courtyard. He put his sandals back on. He took his sandals off. He had to put them back on, went completely around the courtyard. And met up with this Lord again, and this Lord looked at him and he was like, oh, you went that way did you? And continued on into a room, where he told him ( a Zen priest). And he told him that he actually rigged just a tiny little test for him. And as it turned out, standing in this courtyard was one of the greatest swordsman in Japan. And that was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not Musashi </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and not Musashi one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I said one of not the greatest, because Musashi was considered the greatest, but anyways, he was going to draw his <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> sword if Musashi walked through this opening, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So Musashi could have been chopped in half.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It is very possible. Now later, of course, Akira Kurosawa took this as a cue for The Seven Samurai.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Basically this is a moment in time where he used his intuition. He couldn't see, he couldn't feel, he couldn't necessarily understand what was going on, but he, sensed trouble. He actually sensed as he described it, Peerless swordsmanship, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and repeat that word as a pure list or peer </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> lists without peer, because of course he's going to be very deferential because this really good swordsman was a Lord as well. And he avoided him and then what's even more interesting in my mind, although we are here to talk about intuition today, what's even more interesting to me is that this Lord, said basically, I realize you wanted to have a bout with me, like a physical, like sword fight with me. And I consider that's already happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So he actually even accepted a loss in addition, because he agreed to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> go in on this little stunt with this Lord. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So he sensed that he sensed it. So that Lord sensed that Musashi was sensing him. Is that what happened? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no no no He, when Musashi avoided the fight, Musashi showed himself at a, at a higher level of swordsmanship because the true goal of martial arts, according to Mr.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Miyagi is to avoid the fight. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, according to yourMr. Miyagi</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We study martial arts so we don't have to fight </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you say Mr. Miyagi, but isn't that what we learned also from O Senei? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And Sensei Chicken Legs, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> sensei chicken legs was my, if you guys don't know w it's my, my secret description of our teacher in Aikido.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I would call him in secret when I would get mad at him sense chicken legs. So just make myself feel better when I was mad at him, but okay. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> So intuition </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and, and really having that much of an understanding of when to follow it and understanding that it's coming through for sure. And how do we build our vocabulary?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">How do we strengthen that muscle? I mean, is it a muscle, you know, it's, it's one of those things that, you know, they say it takes 10,000 hours to quote unquote, master something like golf or tennis. What does it take to really harness your intuition? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, that is our subject for today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Intuition. And we are about to introduce you not yet because I have the etymology of intuition. Not yet. Hold on. There's more, we have a beautiful person and we want to introduce you to a new friend especially for younger people out there. Ages. I don't know. From what age? Very, very young to teens, this show is for you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's for everyone actually. So intuition, atomology, one of the things I looked at was the late middle English. in that sense, intuition <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> is denoting spiritual insight, which is what we're familiar with. And so this is what they said, denoting spiritual insight or immediate spiritual communication, which is what Musashi was going with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then from the Latin, if you spell it, I N T U E R I, it means to consider, to look at, to watch over, to care for, to protect, is what intuition means, which is all the things Musashi was doing. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. And in this particular instance, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So intuition is an inward directed gaze that has connotations of guidance and protection.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So here we go with some definitions, the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational, thought and interference. Quick and <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> ready insight. The ability to acquire knowledge without resources, to conscious reasoning that is intuition. And that is how we met our friend that we are going to introduce you to right now, this is her work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Her name is beautiful and it's interesting. Her first name is Maya. We want you to introduce you to Maya Holland. She works with teens. She works with younger people. this is an episode for you. This is so important. We're going to talk about, especially what is happening more so now around the world. You know, when we started the friendship movement, we knew you and I Matt knew that the part of our society that's really hit hard is not the elderly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is the younger people, the children. They are feeling the most anxiety, they're feeling the most ungrounded. So lonely. They have so many <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> issues more than ever before, probably. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right? Yeah. Uh, they have fewer, I think, uh, skills. Uh, they have a smaller vocabulary to deal with the rapid change that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">we've seen. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And, that's easily understood because look at the adults because the adults don't even know, they forgot the art of friendship.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They don't even realize how to carry on a true friendship. We've all become so immersed in the hustle of working and taking care of things and having our energy scattered in all different directions, for survival. And we always talk about how there is no capacity when you're in survival mode to have true relationships, to have true connections, because you're always running.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You're always running from the tiger or trying to put out a fire either the house is on fire or you're being attacked in some way. And so you it's a struggle. Yes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Everyone, I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> would like you to meet Maya Holland, you can find her on tools for teens. You can go to her website, Maya, simone.com. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everyone. Please meet our friend maya Holland. Yay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Hello and welcome. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Welcome Maya! </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:17]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Thank you guys for having me. I'm so excited. So as you mentioned, Fawn, my name is MayaHolland and I'm the founder of tools for teens, which is a meditation based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you can visit my website, mayasimone.com to sign up for privates group classes and read my blog about going to university in </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">London. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We are so excited because, El and Allegra are actually going to be studying with you and they are so excited they met you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They love you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:56]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Oh, thank you. It was so great to meet them. I think it's going to be <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> great. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They are beyond excited. We use our intuition constantly from day one.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That is how we operate in our home but being around certain people, kind of dimmed that light in them, unfortunately. And that's what happens when we go through life, right? There's some things happen or you meet certain people that are not the greatest, right. And if you're not fully immersed in your own sense of self and your own powers, if you're not grounded. Thank you. It can really knock you off. And, unfortunately that's what happened with Ellen Alegra. So when they were like, yes, we want to study with Maya. I almost fell over. I was so relieved because our last show, you'll notice they're like, not very hopeful. We remember Matt, we asked them how they feel about the future.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They're like: "not so good." Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Well, I would just to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> touch on what you just mentioned. I think that teenagers especially get so sucked in to life itself and other people's energies and figuring out who they are as they're growing up, that they lose sight of not only what their intuition is, but also how to trust it and how to listen to it. And so that's one of the main goals of my privates and group classes is to help kids become more grounded, become more present in their bodies and really learn to listen to what your own gut is telling you. Even when the outside world might be telling you something completely different.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I love what you've created with Tools for Teens. You have created a community for peers to come together, peers that are going through things, and it is truly a family, a community and I feel as a mother, I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> feel so blessed that we met you and I feel grateful for the work that you're doing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I want to hear all about it. I want to hear about how you started, why you started, tell me everything, Maya, start from the beginning. how did this whole journey start for you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> So I really grew up in a very holistic environment. Um, my mom really valued, you know, natural medicine over Western medicine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She's a yoga teacher, so we always kind of incorporated a lot of those ideals or she incorporated those ideals into our upbringing. And so I went to a Waldorf school for preschool. And for those that don't know what it is, it's really based around developing kids' intellectual and artistic skills with an integrated and holistic manner.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So. You know, one of my favorite activities was bread making. That was like a typical activity <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> that we would do. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How old were you? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:02]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Well, um, about </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> four. I love that. I feel like in our society, they teach us not to touch fire or anything sharp or anything like that, that adults use, I think that's a hindrance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:18]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. Because this is so based around how can you develop your own skills in a real world environment? So I have really good memories of Waldorf school. And then I went to a Montessori school for preschool, which I really loved, and that had similar goals that Waldorf did just really developing kids' artistic and practical skills on their own. So there was this huge room with all these different activities laid out and everyday kids would come and pretty much just to play. There was an outdoor garden where you could plant veggies and water plants <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> in the green house. And then of course my favorite stations, the food station, um, you could cut bananas, you could make an butter toast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> My sister.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> The whole premise around this school was really just giving kids the freedom to do things for themselves and help them cultivate independence. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You see, when I was, when I was going through school, I had no idea this other world existed because I don't know about you, Matt, but like I had no knowledge of this other way of going to school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I learned about it way after high school, the friends that I met in college, you know, you, you asked, you know, where'd you go to school, where'd you go to school? And I'm like, what? We all went to, you know, the, the group I was talking to in my memory right now, we were all from LA I'm. Like, I never heard of that school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What, what, what, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> what madness is this? What are you talking about? Are you making it up? And they're like, no, no, no fun. We would wake up and do whatever we wanted in school. And whatever we wanted was like studying major hardcore math. I'm like, what? And then like Maya, My exactly like, how am I said, or we would like go off and paint or in this one case this one kid, she was like, yeah, if we wanted to go naked in the garden, that's what we would do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, why mind you? These are like very little kids, like back then, but like, to be free. I'm like, I was so mad Maya when I found this out, man, because I should have been in that environment. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> The school was great. I mean, not going to lie. I loved </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it. What a wonderful way, because it took me years to undo the damage that was caused to me going to a regular school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. Like. The <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> amount of things I had to ward off, it was like going into battle every day, either. I was in battle with teachers. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Let's talk preschool and kindergarten for a second. Okay. Let's let's not get into quote-unquote. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hello. Have you not been listening </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to know? I know, I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> know some of the stories of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I know there's a lot of angst here and I, I have points to make to, you know, oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm sorry. Go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Go ahead. There's such a subtlety, I think to it, you know, when you describe making bread, that's such a left brain, right. Brain thing to do, because if you get the formula wrong, that bread aint gonna rise. And yet there's an aesthetic quality to it as well, which is what is bread actually going to taste like, just cause you got your bread rises to me is going to be good in the same way there is an art and a science to it all to even watering plants in a garden, you know? Yes. You have to make sure they're wet, but too wet, not wet enough. How often, how not often did you plant it in the right <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> season? Did you not plant it in? You know, there's so much just, um, left-brain, right-brain yin yang, whatever you want to call it, logical emotional to it all to, make you quote unquote holistic as you put it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:12]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Right. And I think when I went to kindergarten, that's kind of when I realized that there are sort of two categories of, I guess, preschool, kindergarten, because here I was at this school where I could really be independent. But then once I went to kindergarten, I lost a lot of that independence. Um, I remember one day we were doing this activity where we were making self portraits out of, you know, gluing paper and cutting yarn and things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I went over to the yarn to cut some for my hair. And my teacher said, oh, my I'll do that. And I was really confused cause I thought, okay, well I'm completely capable of cutting my own yarn well, my own paper down and nothing against my <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> kindergarten teachers. I loved them. But it was just interesting even at five, six years old, noticing the difference in how you're treated, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And those different </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> schools, which, so this kindergarten was not what you were experiencing. It was like a regular kindergarten. Quote unquote, regular kindergarten. So they didn't want you to use sharp objects. Like I was saying, like, notice </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it is possible. There also could be a number of different subtexts, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I loved Mrs. Swanson, my kindergarten teacher, because I loved all my teachers then. Cause I was just that way. But uh, yeah, it may be that, uh, she didn't want you to grab the arm cause you had long hair and everyone else had already like stolen so much, you know, taking too much yarn for theirs, who knows, but right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But the fact that she didn't trust you to, you know, to get your own yarn does speak volumes. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think cutting the yarn. It could be. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, it could be who knows, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> but there's really no way to tell. But I think just looking back, obviously in the moment I wasn't thinking about it all that much, but looking back now, it's interesting how the different ideals kind of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Play out in different types </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> of schooling. It's all these cuts. It's a thousand trillion cuts that eventually reshape you and make you doubt yourself, make you not use your intuition anymore. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well. Absolutely. And there are points in time, sadly, gratefully that, you know, your intuition feels wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Guy. Remember making the shift. Did you say thankfully? Yeah. Why? I don't know. I just did </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> one in the world. Would it be ever, would your intuition ever be not so good, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">wrong?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, everything in my head when I made the transition of, cause we're talking about school from elementary school where they loved you to junior high school where it felt like you were a burden and it was, I mean, that felt <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> like a great wrong.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean all junior high school, like my, I remember my first day of junior high school, it was cold. It was going from class to class, every periodically on a bell. There was figuring out how to deal with the cafeteria. There was, you know, even finding your friends, the people you went to elementary school with, cause you were all scattered in different classes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It felt very wrong, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:26]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and for me, I had all kinds of racial hatred thrown at me, even in elementary school, I've told you stories and it started in kindergarten. And so, you know, we all have different experiences. We all have so many cuts and pains that we go through. And, so thank God Maya's here because how do you deal with that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">This is why our society is so messed up. So let's let's fix this. So Maya is fixing it. Maya is bringing light. Maya is helping. Maya has created a community here for young <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> people to feel safe and to feel at home </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">so, we're talking about intuition, but it's really the art of the start. How does intuition start? How do we all start as human beings? What happens along the way? We all, we all experience pain. But the art of the start of intuition, let's go back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">So here you are. You're being told not to cut and you're seeing the difference in that. Please, please. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Well, so it's interesting that you say art of the start because it is completely related to that. I mean, I think children are naturally born, very intuitive. And as we get older, we lose sight of that because people start telling us how we should think and how we should do things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'm very grateful to my parents because they really allowed me to develop my own confidence really young. And I think that has carried over a lot <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> into who I am now, because I was given permission as a very young girl to explore my own personality. Um, like I remember my mom would always tell me, oh, let's go on a play date with this person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I would say, no, I don't really want to go. I don't really like them. And she'd say, oh no, well, You know, I'm friends with the mom. You're, you're the same age as the daughter, it'll be so fun. And I would just say, no, I don't want to go. And eventually she realized that, you know, even at five years old, I knew exactly what I wanted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So she started letting me choose who I wanted to hang out with. And same went with what clothes I wore. My parents let me choose my own outfits. No matter how horrendous they were. I mean, pink jeans, polka dot skirt, striped t-shirt all with like <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> a dress over like absolutely horrible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. I like it. No, I love it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think that's why we have so many problems, right? Because all these things Maya just mention. Is things that we did and we got in trouble for your hair was too long Matt, you know, you overheard don't get </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> me started on the hair. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You overheard your mom's friends saying, how can you let him look like that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And she didn't even stick up for you. Like, it was like a thousand cuts, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but, but okay, fine. But now I'm gonna, I'm gonna play, I'm gonna play the other, I'm going to play the devil's advocate. Cause that's, that's where I live. So you were going out on play dates with people, but what do you do as a parent?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, what do you do as the, the elder in the situation if your child just doesn't want to hang out with anybody, you know, because there is a give and take, it's like, yes, you can use the stove, but that burners on high and it's, you know, hanging out all by itself and you're about to put a knife down on it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, what, how do you balance? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:59]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah, I hear <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> what you're saying. I think there's a good, happy medium. I mean, my mom would encourage me and, you know, kind of play devil's advocate and then I would go for it. Oh, okay. Try it. No, didn't really like it. And then eventually after she pushed a couple of times, it was like, okay, clearly she knows that she doesn't want to do this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I think it's about trying and seeing how it works. And then if you're still not getting through, just trust that your child knows what they want. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And today's show is really about the young people, you know, forget about the parents, it's about going to that place of trusting your own instincts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, if you fro, even though on paper, it looks good for you to be with this person. If you don't feel like it don't do it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's one area where. We say it's okay. As far as like relationships, if you're in, if you don't feel it, you don't feel it. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> And that's what it is. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> sometimes it'll be a good stretch of time before you find your community.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so what you should just be with people to have them occupy space, that space should really be for yourself. Am I wrong? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> No, I think you're right. I mean, gosh, it's so hard because as humans naturally, we just want, deep connections. But if you're forcing that connection, in my opinion, that's a lot worse than just allowing that connection to naturally be there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that is why we're in this state that we're in, you know, you try to force it. And you don't have, therefore you don't have the capacity to even know yourself. You don't know your own voice. If you're constantly being pushed or you're pushing yourself, right. To be in situations to be with certain people, because this is what you should be doing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. And, or being led for sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So you are not even practicing the art of intuition because you're not hearing <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> it. Right. You're not giving yourself the opportunity. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:03]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> You're right on point. I think that's why for me as a kid, I like now being 19.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I really appreciate my parents giving me the freedom to use my own voice and develop this ability to trust myself because you've learned to kind of ingrain that in your head and if you're constantly going against it, eventually it's just going to become this little voice that has no power in your head.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But if you give it its power, then slowly you learn. Oh my gosh, my intuition is right. So it's just about, learning to trust it and developing those patterns. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Maya, do you think that, okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Let me go back. Um, before I ask the question, we were talking about genius the other day. And we were talking about how it was not until the Renaissance, did people start <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> saying, oh, this person is a genius. This person, oh, I'm a genius. Ooh, you're a genius. Oh, your, your work is amazing. You are your work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whereas before the Renaissance period, it was thought of as you working with genius, that when you get an idea, when a creative thought comes, when genius strikes you or genius comes to you, it is, it is a force that is collaborating with you. And at the same time, this genius is whispering to you it's actually whispering to others around the planet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">If you don't have a way to house this genius, that this genius will eventually work with somebody else. So whenever you have an idea, someone else has the same idea on the other side of the planet. And if you don't give it proper attention, if you don't give it the means for it to live, it will find another source.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Do you think that can happen with intuition, do <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> you think it could just disappear ? Or is it something that that's there forever?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Could that intuition ever be beaten to a pulp word doesn't come out ever again? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> No, because intuition is always there. It's just a matter of when you start developing it and how much attention you give to it. So that's one of the reasons that Tools for Teens is so important is because children, like I said earlier, naturally intuitive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And the earlier you start developing that skill, the stronger it gets. So if you wait till you're 50, 60 years old, you're still gonna have that innate intuitive ability, but it just might take a little bit longer, not only to develop it, but also clear out all the energies from the past couple of years that have been prohibiting your intuition to shine through.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Again? I did that.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's one of those things. I think we always there, they're always those moments where you know, what the right thing and the wrong thing is to do just on an intuitive level, on a moral level, on a spiritual level, on whatever level, you know, you know, and I don't think that ever really goes away, but that voice can get awfully quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And it's not always about right or wrong. It's about, I choose to walk down this path or I choose this color or I choose to express myself like this right now. Or I choose this word right now, a word, you know, it's not just about like black and white right or wrong. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I have an easier time with black and white </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> being a computer guy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. Okay. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:48]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> the thing, a lot of people are in the exact same situation that you are. And even me, sometimes I'm so organized. I love to have okay, this is right. This is wrong, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> but that's where intuition has helped me grow a lot. And studying energy medicine is because you learn that there's this massive gray area and you don't always have to have the answer.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I think a lot of people think that intuition is about knowing the right answer on your math test, knowing that, you know, this is if it's answer B them, this is what it is, but it's so much more abstract. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It totally is. I go by feelings rather than analytics. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right, right. And, and honestly, I think that's one of the reasons why L just like beats my butt playing a crazy eights. She plays on a different level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, I'm pretty raw analytic figuring, figuring the percentages and the whatevers. And she plays what looks best to her at the moment. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I have to turn off my brain. Like when we start, when I start losing. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> And I tell myself, okay, I don't want to create a violent scene here. So what I'm going to do is I just want to turn everything off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't care anymore. And that's when I start winning because it's not that I don't care anymore. I've realized it's because I let all of that go. And I say, okay, I'm not going to keep track of a score. I'm not going to keep track of whatever it is physically. I'm just going to give it up. And I end up using feelings only, and I can feel what you have in your deck.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I can feel what moves you're going to make ahead of time. I can feel like instinctively, which domino to pick </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and this all sounds very loosey goosey, but I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> think it's legit real. I'm like it's hardcore. Real. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I think you're letting go and starting to feed your sixth </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> sense, but we're taught not to do that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And absolutely we are <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> taught not to do that because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> explain why you do that even in business, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's not, it's not mathematically valid. You know, the Greeks gave us a whole heck of a lot of things. Uh, but what they also gave us is classifying EVERYTHING. And if you can't measure something, then you throw it out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. Because, and what's so interesting now is that we're measuring energy. Thank God. So we have these amazing science and it was only </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:23]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> until the scientists started measuring the unmeasurable. Cause this is, this is how </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and think of them. They're like totally outcasts in their field. You know, like I think of Candace PERT, Dr.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Candace PERT, like the molecules of emotion, like having scientists measure your auric field, your, magnetic field and then realizing, oh my God, you know, they say, oh, it's this, this amount wide, but then these other scientists are now saying, you know what, it's not really that wide either because the machines can only go to this <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> distance to measure.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It is probably infinite, you know, or, you know, but they're actually measuring this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and I think that by and large has a lot to do with the fact that as we get more and more into classifying things, we're finding that there are things we can't measure. There are things we can't measure using these techniques that we have we've had for thousands of years, because it's not even there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so, and so we're getting into, and we're really starting to think through, uh, alternative ways and what alternative people have put forward. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Measuring empty space is what I was trying to say, do you know what I mean? How can you measure empty space </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Don't like things that would absence. Yeah. Like unseen forces. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Which takes me to my, it takes me to, uh, I think my question, I think it's time for me to ask my question now. So Musashi kind of had these nine rules and they start with don't think dishonesty in the way is in training.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now he has nine of these boom. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> And I find it very interesting that certainly two of them can effortlessly be described as intuition and things you can't touch two of the nine and those are, translated: develop intuitive, judgment, and understanding for everything. And perceive those things which cannot be seen now, Maya, why do you suppose he has that differentiation?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And what do you perceive out of? Let's just focus on those two of nine folks. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> So the develop intuitive judgment and understanding for everything. That one is particularly interesting to me because when we're born, we have such a strong sense of intuition. And as we get older, we develop our emotions and start to use those to navigate the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then as adults, we rely a lot on logic to make decisions. And I think this is <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> where a lot of people stop because they believe they've mastered the art of thinking. But in reality, it's just the opposite because even though emotions and logic play such a vital role in our lives, And I'm not saying that people should go back to an infant mindset, but I think that as a society, we need to learn to come back to how to make decisions with more intuitive guidance and less emotional judgment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because the moment that we stopped trusting ourselves and listening to our intuition, that's the moment that our lives become more difficult than they need to be. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Now you say less emotional. Yeah. And one of the kind of maxims that I hold on to is people tend to make decisions based upon what's worked for them in the past, because guess what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It's a positive feedback loop. And then you run into something like a blockbuster video, which for those of us who are probably teens, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> it was a video rental store you actually walked in and you actually rented a videotape or a DVD. You brought it home and then you had to bring it. Before streaming and you had to rewind it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You had to rewind </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:12]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> it back on a certain date you got, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and yes, yes, you were, there were fees associated and you belonged and you, if you didn't bring it back, et cetera, et </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> cetera, to walk into the store, pick up these clunky, rectangular </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that other people had been like men handling sneezing on and whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But anyways, let's not dwell on that. So the aspect of dwell on is the fact that blockbuster never saw streaming </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> coming, but they did. They had someone working at blockbuster that said, you guys let's do it so we don't have these clunky things. Let's stream it. They're like, no, you're crazy and never going to do </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> what's interesting is, um, emotion. I think, I think on some level emotionally, logically great business model was going to scale forever. And then. They're gone. There's like one left in Alaska or <span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> something.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And where they had like hundreds or thousands of shops. So the trick is, is at some point all of their kind of emotional reasoning and all of their logical reasoning broke and fundamentally broke because streaming was to be the future. And God knows what the new future is going to be. You know, that's, that's the other fun part is the rules can shift at any moment.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So would you say that they didn't follow their, any semblance of intuition? They had completely shuttered that away in the darkest recesses of their mind or, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> oh, that's an interesting question. And kind of add to that before you answer Maya. And, and is that, is that the reason why throughout, especially in Western culture, young people have to rebel against their parents because the parents are the blockbuster.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The parents are the ones saying, this is the way it works. We're going to, you know, so analytical, they've forgotten how to live. So therefore <span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> the younger generation has to say, well, this I have to, I have to go away from this because this is not the right way. You have forgotten. You know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I think it can go a little bit of both ways because obviously there's no way, or there was no way to predict that digital streaming would become the wave of the future. But I think in that sense, it's all about adapting. I mean, just as business models are constantly growing as people, we are constantly growing, constantly evolving and it's not a matter of predicting that, oh my gosh, two years from now COVID is going to happen. And this is what life is going to be like or three years from now, you know, digital streaming is going to be the only way to rent movies. I think it's about adapting and being prepared and evolving </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and being open to that <span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:00]</span> being flexible, I would say, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but it's also, I think as, as the novice here is not the professional, but intuitively you had to have known that something was coming.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">At some point in every industry and every thought in every everything, honestly, folks, if you take nothing else away, take that away. Everything will change and all the rules will get rewritten at some point.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can I just say like, that's exactly what we were taught in martial arts and that's the beauty of youth of like having the youth mindset of the young people is because they are flexible.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They are able to go with the change. They're able to ride the waves. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They're flexible. And then we almost define that flexibility later as resilience. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh no, listen. It's, it's what we were taught in martial arts. Right? Bruce Lee. Perfect example. Like you have to be bamboo, you have to bend with the wind. How do you say it, man?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're the one who like, totally like taught this way to me, bend.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:00]</span> If you don't bend, if you don't sway, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you break even, even the mighty Willow tree. If that, if the wind comes too heavy, it breaks the bamboo doesn't bamboo bends all the way to the ground. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It will go with the flow and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> yup, there you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This is such a rich conversation, which is why everyone listening out there. We're going to do a series with Maya and I know we're about 45, minutes in already, and we haven't even gotten to the main subject yet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:31]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> this is going to cover, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> there is so much to cover. So I, you know, perfect that this episode is called the art of the start. We're going to start this conversation, and this is intended for youth. This is intended for the youth generation; the ambassadors that have come onto the planet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And these are the future entrepreneurs. Politicians, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not even the future. The future is now. Like, I always tell <span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:00]</span> our kids, don't say, when I grow up, I'm going to you doing it right now. You're ambassadors of love this generation that is here. There is no, like I say, you know, like with Santa Monica in that bubble that we were in, there was no ism, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not think about it. There is no sexism, no racism, no ageism. You are, you are valued as the ambassador that you are, the spirit that's come into this world and you are valued. It doesn't matter if it's, if you're only, you've only been here nine months. You are all knowing you are this amazing being all wise and we're listening to you and we have this home for you, this protected environment for you, which is what Maya's created tools for teens.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And <span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:00]</span> when it comes to decisions, your intuition is definitely something that is valid. And it's, it's an excellent thing to apply as speaking as a logical guy, it's an excellent thing to apply to any problem, in addition to logically speaking and emotionally speaking, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">One of the things I'm struggling just a little bit with is that people, um, people can point at moments of intuition in their lives that, you know, I could have gone left. I could have gone, right. I chose to go. Right. And everything great happened because of that. And that's fine to talk about, but it's, it's an inherently personal experience.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's like everybody knows, maybe there were points in time to trust their intuition and not trust their intuition but actually building muscle behind it, actually like really looking at that as a real solid tool, I think is the problem people have. And that's why I dragged blockbuster into it because they Fuded it up and they shouldn't have, but they did because they didn't listen to any semblance of intuition. And that's more of a universal case that <span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:00]</span> people can point at and go, yeah, they screwed up. They should have used something other than logic and this kind of emotional validation that they had gotten, that they were on the right path.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They should have seen that there was another path. And that's why I tried to drag that in. And I did drag that in so that people can see, I just worry that our audience will be like, okay, fine intuition. But why do a series on it versus, you know, really building skills and tools to teach you how to trust your intuition, how to really throw that out there and really listen to what you get back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And also Maya and I were talking that we want to make sure that we emphasize that there is now this stigma of meditation and mindfulness and how cheesy it's become in a way. And I really want to really get into Maya's work and she's modernized it . I mean, that's one reason, uh, Ellen Allegra were so turned off by the yoga <span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:00]</span> world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Yoga used to be a thing for us. We used to meditate. We used to do this intuitive practice on a daily basis until we got to the yoga school and met these jerks with their woo, like, uh, entitled ways with a racist ways that was hidden, but not hidden to us. Right. And then the gas lighting that we got, it turned into this cheesy thing, where they're like, Ugh, I don't even want to go around yoga anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, like even seeing yoga pants, they're like, Ugh, you know, so it's wonderful that Maya has turned that around . Right. And you know, there's that safe space. And so anyway, we're going to get into that. And like I said, this is going to be a series for Maya. How can we say it? This is a series for young people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:54]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yeah, people. That's good. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I want to say young people and people young at heart because I really <span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:00]</span> try. I understand. But one of the important tenants of like Zen is a Zen mind. Beginner's mind, it's really being open to things that experience maybe shows us that, you know, aren't something we need to look at.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And like I said, a ninth, a nine month old is wiser than an 85 year old or a 45. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I have absolutely learned some really valuable things from other developers who were like fresh from school, just because they come at it from my fresh perspective. Absolutely. Well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> let's go back. Let's go back to Maya's journey.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It will explain all these things, her journey to how she founded tools for teens, her journey in life that led her through all these, perhaps dare I say obstacles in life, and , how she created everything for herself and now for others, a place to hold for others. I want to get back to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:00]</span> that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I think we left off in third grade of who your friends are and the friend groups. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Third grade was when I really remember, realizing how sensitive I was, because I've always been a social butterfly, loved hanging out with people and I've always kind of taken the leadership role in my friend groups, but I also really love being alone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I recharge by spending time with myself. So when I was in elementary school and entered middle school, like I didn't really understand how kids could be at school all day. With hundreds of other kids, go home, hang out with kids and then do it all again. I just got so depleted and I always thought, oh, maybe I'm just really, really introverted.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But then I realized that I was just so sensitive to all the other energies around me that my body would just get so overloaded at school that going home was my time to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:00]</span> recharge. And I really needed that in order to be my best self in the other aspects of my life. So, once middle school came to an end, that was when I really realized that it was okay to be sensitive.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when I really started developing more of my personality and something kind of switched where I never wanted to be alone. So I kind of took on this role of like, I just wanted to be friends with everybody. And that had always kind of been there, but it really started shining through in middle school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, I loved introducing certain people in one friend group to another friend group and kind of being the bridge between certain friends. And that was when I really started becoming more and more of this social butterfly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, it can certainly be hard. I, I certainly encountered something similar in, uh, it felt like junior high school just because it felt like in elementary school, you really had that sense of quote-unquote community <span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:00]</span> of like 30 people in a class.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then when I got to junior high school, all of a sudden it was like everybody was kind of thrown together. Like I knew literally between all of my classes, I knew like a hundred people. You know, between PE was always a mix. And then I had two periods a day where it was both seventh graders and eighth graders together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause that's how junior high school worked when, where I grew up. So I knew an incredible amount of people and you can feel, people's like, you feel, you feel people's anger, you feel people's confusion. You feel people's laughter you feel, and it's so much noise. It's exhausting </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:35]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> like, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and if you think about that, going through that every day, if you have no way to protect yourself, I mean, it's like walking around with an open wound that's just collecting all these dust particles, which of course the wound's going to get infected. Right. So the body's so similar needs protection. Right or it </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> infection. Right. And I always talk <span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:00]</span> about how we develop vocabularies and skills and, you know, you don't have a shield. I think that, infants and young children and even adults, because as it turns out, I'm this way at times too, their emotional sponges, they actually feed in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They actually bring in all the emotion. And then what do you do with it? How do you process it? What do you, you know, if, if the ha if, if mommy's upset, the house is upset. If, if daddy's confused, baby's confused, the house is confused. It's just how it works. And now you're involved in this area that you haven't built up, your, your defenses, your shields, your whatevers, and there's just so much going on, you know, how can you help, but not become a little wacky, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:41]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> right. And that leads into. How I really got into energy medicine because once sophomore year of high school hit, that was my first real experience with depression. And it came on really slowly. I mean, first I didn't really have much motivation <span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:00]</span> to get up and go to school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And like I've always loved school, but just, you know, the social aspect of it. But slowly I kind of started losing motivation and then I didn't really want to go to cross country practice. I couldn't really sleep well at night and I wasn't really getting much joy out of anything in my life. And for some reason I was afraid to talk to my parents about it because, you know, I didn't want them to worry about me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I sort of felt like something was wrong with me, even though deep down, I knew it was normal. My analyzer of my brain was like, oh Maya, like what's going on? Yeah. So I was always known as this really, really happy smiley person. And I didn't feel that as much anymore. So eventually I talked to my mom about it and she suggested that I look at energy medicine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So that kind of prompted the beginning of my mindfulness journey. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:00]</span> And I enrolled in the Academy of Intuition Medicine in Sausalito, which is an incredible school run by Francesca McCartney. And in the nutshell, she teaches people how to use energy medicine as a pragmatic healing skill every day. So using it as a resource to give yourself boundaries, heal physical and emotional ailments, and just really come back to who you are as a spirit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And both my parents studied with her. So I enrolled in the program as the youngest student, and now I'm the youngest graduate ever. And all the work that I did with her was really profound in just helping me get more grounded and becoming a stronger, more enlightened spirit. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> From what I remember from years ago, she actually trains people in the medical field to become medical intuitives to use their intuition</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:57]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> And when I enrolled in her <span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:00]</span> program, I didn't have the intention of going on and teaching this to other people. I was just more coming at it from a place of, I am so passionate about this aspect of life. I want to explore it more and I want to learn how I can use it to better my life, but here I am now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I couldn't even imagine not sharing it with other young people. And it really taught me about, you know, being sensitive isn't a bad thing. It just means that you're highly in touch with your body and other energies around you. So all the work is completely centered around how to create healthier relationships, creating boundaries for myself and those around me, and really just becoming more present.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So you would say that energy medicine and with the things you learned at the academy, helped you, you know, we would say perhaps coming at it completely from like a, I guess, right brain, I don't know, point of view, we would say something like it helped you develop your emotional intelligence and, you know, helped you <span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:00]</span> read those subtle or invisible clues that let you know when somebody is feeling a certain way or not a certain way, and, and helps you connect to people on a day that you don't previously know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> That's a hundred percent, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> which, which makes it comfortable for a logical guy like myself. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It makes it uncomfortable for me. And I'm not logical. I am so illogical and I'm constantly feeling like I'm being slapped on the wrist. Every time I ask a question, because go figure Matt I'm considered, like, I keep asking mental questions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, I am how in the world did that happen? Like, I'm the most illogical person, but. I'm stuck in my head. I'm realizing the more I study with Francesca. I don't know. I mean, it's, it's probably </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> my fault because again, it's one of those cases where, you know, I like to believe I've been at least modestly successful following a more logical path and, and letting go of that can be <span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:00]</span> tricky.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there, there have been a few, obviously key personal, emotional, intuitive moments that I've had that made perfect sense that, in hindsight, dealing with all the pieces of information I had on the table at that moment in time, didn't seem like a good decision. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:16]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> That's what some people struggle with is putting a sort of scientific answer to intuition </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:53:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in hindsight, I know what the right decision was, you know, in, in a football game, , you know, you have a number of choices of moves to make. and honestly, in hindsight, every single play that you make from scrimmage could be a touchdown.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's just, if this guy was over this way and this guy did this thing and dah, dah, dah, regardless of what the other team is doing, because they're probably going to do the same thing in all of these kinds of alternative quantum worlds, almost if you want to view it that way, and the right move, the perfect move.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">, I always say there's an imminent number of bad ways of doing things. There's a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:00]</span> smaller number of good ways to do things. And there's one perfect way to do everything, but good luck. You're not going to find that perfect way, but intuition helps lead you towards the better to perfect ways of doing things.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's why, when you're in a battle of fighting for your intuition, even if you don't realize it, um, this leads me to this thing that I'm thinking about Maya and I were talking about like, there's a certain age you definitely are at. And then you realize I don't have to conform, can you talk about that Maya; reaching a point where you realize you don't have to conform, that, feeling, that security and how you came into this point of leadership, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:54:42]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I remember when I first started the academy, I didn't talk about it. It was every Tuesday night. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">My parents knew my boyfriend knew at the time and a couple of my close friends knew, but I remember people would say, oh, can you hang out tonight? And I'd <span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:00]</span> be like, oh, sorry, I can't, I have a doctor's appointment or I'd make some stupid reason.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Not because for some reason I didn't want to share with people my practice. And I told my parents that and they were like, , just because you're not doing things that everybody else is doing doesn't mean that you have to hide it. And slowly I started becoming more confident and more comfortable with talking about this practice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That was so not mainstream. And now. I completely own it. And the moment I started owning it was the moment it became more of who I was, because if you're constantly hiding something, that's so important to you, how can you share it with the world? And so that was kind of the turning point of when my practice really developed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:55:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and really like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What you just said, Maya is perfection, owning it, owning it. I feel owning it is really embodying your true self. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:00]</span> So let's say you don't have the ideal body shape that's in Vogue magazine. If you own yourself, you own your beautiful body. Even though that shape is not in Vogue, guaranteed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your shape will become the next it thing people end up having surgery for, to achieve, right. Once you own it, you embody it. You embody yourself. That's when you're so powerful. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:56:30]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Exactly. And when I moved to London for university, that really forced me to come back to my energy medicine practice as well, because I felt I kind of had this massive target on my back being American, and the culture shock coupled with trying to navigate just all the social nuances of a new country, adjusting to the weather, all those things that come with uprooting your life made it really <span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:00]</span> difficult for me, but I really relied on my energy medicine tools a lot here, and that helped me really stay grounded and just come back to, this is who you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have nothing to be ashamed of. Just own it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We're gonna do a whole series for teens on our show. You're going to be our reoccurring friend </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Maya, and I discussed like all these things that we're going to cover over a whole series. So Maya is going to be on all the time. Reach out to us, go to our friendly world.com and you will also see on our website with this episode, you'll see links to Maya. Maya is launching a whole workshop</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:57:44]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> yes, it's a workshop group class. So a four week class, once a week where kids learn, the basics about grounding earth, energy, and then learning about their <span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:00]</span> life force energy, the aura. So teaching them to use these skills on their own </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You call them tools. So you're a teaching tools for team tools, for teens tools to not only survive, but to thrive in, in the world today.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we all need that and definitely our great ambassadors who have recently come onto the planet need that. They need that support. So we are here to introduce you to Maya Holland, and to let you know that this work is here. This community is here for you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Maya, can you offer one tool before we go today to help our friends ?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:43]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Absolutely. I would say the biggest tool I could offer is learning the art of grounding because that in itself is the foundation of all energy medicine work. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:58:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can you <span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:00]</span> please explain what grounding is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:02]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Yes. So grounding is connecting your body to the resonance of earth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's feeling your feet on the ground, allowing your body to become connected with the center of the earth and feeling that resonance. So we access this during meditation. We can access this when we're just walking around on the street. It's fundamentally just about bringing your attention back to your body and simply becoming more present.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Can we just say I'm grounded just like that in a split second and be grounded, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:59:40]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> you can affirm that, but something that I will teach more in my group classes, or if we do privates. Is what I like to imagine is a thick tree root extending from the bottom of my feet, all the way down to the center of the earth.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So a <span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:00]</span> huge Redwood tree that connects my feet and keeps them stable to the ground and connects them to the center of the earth. So that intention coupled with, if you just say out loud, I affirm I am grounded in present time. That will connect you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is for us Matt, sending chi </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Tito, this is like one of the, one of the first lessons that you get taught in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Aikido, and then they completely forget. Most schools typically completely forget about it, but it's the most important thing you're always supposed to be grounded when you practice Aikido and I'm willing to bet if we had a Greco-Roman wrestler on, I think that it would probably affirm something similar enough to make sense.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And granted </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you're immovable. So you can stick out your hand and send chi. And the strongest muscle man, can't put your arm down because you're sending that life force. They're sending chi so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:00:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> much energy that you're getting from the earth out your arm is how you're supposed to consider it and think <span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:00]</span> about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that makes your arm. Not completely, but it takes a heck of a lot more energy to, to move you than, uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:01:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so like you see, O Sensei, the founder of Akido, this very frail looking, looking all old, old looking bad-ass. Yes. But like very, very petite, very like, you know, like you think, oh, this, this man has no strength, but you see, there are videos of him of like these massive, big Hulky guys charging him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And with a flick of literally like an index finger, they get thrown. And it's because he's grounded. , he has chi. And, and, you know, kids know this from the beginning. Like if you try to pick up a toddler a two year old off the ground. Have you tried to lift up someone that weighs like 15 pounds and you can't move them there?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:00]</span> They're grounded. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You can quote unquote, make yourself heavy, which is probably how the infant more thinks about it. I don't want to move. So I'm going to make myself heavy. You can't, but yet, but yet they're connecting and they're they're really. Yeah, absolutely. That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> why I call them ambassadors. They know all this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And what point do you get where people can just shove you around and you feel like you're just a feather being blown around. Right? So this is what Maya does. She teaches these tools. And that's why the grounding is so important. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:34]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Exactly. It's the basis of all the work that revolves around energy medicine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I hope this helps. And I hope that you realize we're just sipping right now. This is an introduction. This is the art of the start. And I cannot wait for the next episodes with Maya </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> I'm so excited. I'm so ready. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:02:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So please make sure you go to our <span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:00]</span> friendly world.com for more information, go to Maya.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">simone.com, maya simone.com tools for teens. She's a graduate of The Academy of Intuition Medicine, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:14]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> youngest graduate ever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Everybody make sure you check her out and you're launching the next course, which is going up when </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:22]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> Early November.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So if you just stay tuned on my website, there will be more announcements and more information </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> coming. Maya, El and Alegra are at attention. They are ready to go. I am so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Maya:</strong></span> excited. I can't wait to have them. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Feel free to email us any questions you might have for Maya </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[01:03:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or go directly to Maya. They can do that too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you need anyone to talk to, we are all here for you. What we want is a beautiful world for you. We're trying to not trying. We must do. Don't try. <span style="color:#808080;">[01:04:00]</span> Do. We are here in support of you. We are here to honor you. We see you. We see you as the ambassadors that you are; the beautiful force that you are, and we're here to honor you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Thank you for being here with us. Thank you for listening. We will talk to you in just a few days.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Bye. See you soon!</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[This episode begins a series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com
Website: mayasimone.com https://mayasimone.com/home
Email: maya@mayasimone.com
Instagram: @maya.holland 
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace 
Intuition – The Art of the Start with Maya Holland – Tools for Teens TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Matt: Maya Modo Musashi, regarded as the sword Saint, the Kensei the folklorish hero, historical figure samurai in feudal Japan. Story from his life: he was visiting a Lord, one of the various daimyo's of the land, at his invitation. He was sitting in a room. The Lord took him and said, okay, come with me to this other room, 
 They got slightly separated and 
[00:00:23] Fawn: hold on one second. So, uh, Damon is
[00:00:26] Matt: A Damio 
[00:00:27] Fawn: A damio. So that's the boss. 
[00:00:29] Matt: Think of him as like a Lord or a Baron or a, 
[00:00:32] Fawn: the samurais work for 
[00:00:34] Matt: yes. Samurais do. And then the Ronins are, they was samurai who do not have currently have a Lord.
And at that point Musashi was a Ronin. 
 Anyways. They got briefly separated going through, his castle and he motioned to him from across a courtyard. He's like, yeah, I'm over here, come this way. And the courtyard was dark and Musashi sensed something.[00:01:00] 
He couldn't put his finger on it, but he sensed something and he realized, 
[00:01:04] Fawn: wait, am I going to get scared? Is someone going to get chopped in half? Quiet? You someone's going to get...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:05:37</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Break-Up - How to Deal]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 10 Oct 2021 19:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-break-up-how-to-deal</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-break-up-how-to-deal</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Friend breakups are just as painful as romantic break-ups. We have some strategies and stories to share that will have you feeling better.</p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Break-Up</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Good. All everything. Hi everybody. Hey, I don't know if it's the subject matter today, but I'm in a mood right now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sounds like I'm going to be tapping today. You know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what? I don't think. I think no matter what you do right now, it's going to get all my last nerves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So if I'm quiet, I'm in trouble. If I talk in trouble. Oh yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Everything. Everything is bothering me right now. Um, love LOVE IS WINNING. Um, it's the inner fight within that says I am done. And the other side of you you that is used to this situation or person to the point that stopping is like cutting off a vital part of life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This makes no sense to you cause you have no idea what I'm about to discuss today, right, Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> I, I guess we'll see, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's kind of like, what I'm about to talk about is kind of. And not kind of, but to me, what I've noticed is actually like a chemical addiction. Uh, today's topic is, are you ready?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt has no idea. The breakup.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Raise your hand if you've been through a breakup and that your hand, if you went well </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> now, well, I raising my hand. I had one that finally went well and I use it as an nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. And I'm not talking about like romantic breakup per se. I'm talking about break up in general, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">breaking up with a friend it is so hard and you think, oh, well it's just a friend, but oh my God, it is incredibly painful. Horrible. So I have some ways that will help with that <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> pain because breakup looking at the etymology of it, it's a disr...</span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ 
 
Friend breakups are just as painful as romantic break-ups. We have some strategies and stories to share that will have you feeling better.
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
The Break-Up
[00:00:00] Fawn: Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Good. All everything. Hi everybody. Hey, I don't know if it's the subject matter today, but I'm in a mood right now. 
[00:00:13] Matt: Sounds like I'm going to be tapping today. You know 
[00:00:17] Fawn: what? I don't think. I think no matter what you do right now, it's going to get all my last nerves.
[00:00:23] Matt: So if I'm quiet, I'm in trouble. If I talk in trouble. Oh yeah. 
[00:00:27] Fawn: Everything. Everything is bothering me right now. Um, love LOVE IS WINNING. Um, it's the inner fight within that says I am done. And the other side of you you that is used to this situation or person to the point that stopping is like cutting off a vital part of life.
This makes no sense to you cause you have no idea what I'm about to discuss today, right, Matt? 
[00:00:59] Matt: Well, [00:01:00] I, I guess we'll see, 
[00:01:02] Fawn: it's kind of like, what I'm about to talk about is kind of. And not kind of, but to me, what I've noticed is actually like a chemical addiction. Uh, today's topic is, are you ready?
Matt has no idea. The breakup.
[00:01:25] Matt: Yeah. Raise your hand if you've been through a breakup and that your hand, if you went well 
[00:01:29] Fawn: now, well, I raising my hand. I had one that finally went well and I use it as an nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. And I'm not talking about like romantic breakup per se. I'm talking about break up in general, 
breaking up with a friend it is so hard and you think, oh, well it's just a friend, but oh my God, it is incredibly painful. Horrible. So I have some ways that will help with that [00:02:00] pain because breakup looking at the etymology of it, it's a disr...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Break-Up - How to Deal]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Friend breakups are just as painful as romantic break-ups. We have some strategies and stories to share that will have you feeling better.</p>
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<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Break-Up</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Good. All everything. Hi everybody. Hey, I don't know if it's the subject matter today, but I'm in a mood right now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sounds like I'm going to be tapping today. You know </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> what? I don't think. I think no matter what you do right now, it's going to get all my last nerves.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So if I'm quiet, I'm in trouble. If I talk in trouble. Oh yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:27]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Everything. Everything is bothering me right now. Um, love LOVE IS WINNING. Um, it's the inner fight within that says I am done. And the other side of you you that is used to this situation or person to the point that stopping is like cutting off a vital part of life.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This makes no sense to you cause you have no idea what I'm about to discuss today, right, Matt? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> I, I guess we'll see, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's kind of like, what I'm about to talk about is kind of. And not kind of, but to me, what I've noticed is actually like a chemical addiction. Uh, today's topic is, are you ready?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt has no idea. The breakup.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. Raise your hand if you've been through a breakup and that your hand, if you went well </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> now, well, I raising my hand. I had one that finally went well and I use it as an nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. And I'm not talking about like romantic breakup per se. I'm talking about break up in general, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">breaking up with a friend it is so hard and you think, oh, well it's just a friend, but oh my God, it is incredibly painful. Horrible. So I have some ways that will help with that <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> pain because breakup looking at the etymology of it, it's a disruption; disillusion of connection; separation into parts. Even the sound of break has ache in it, meaning pain.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now ache is defined as, a,dull pain, but oh my God, when it goes on and on, or it could be a sharp pain, actually, you know what I mean? It's horrible, but we have some solutions. I mean, I definitely have some solutions. Do you have solutions that you have no idea what the subject would be until we, I just said it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, I know. And I'm like thinking through breakups of my past. So you got to give me a minute. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So this is what my thought was, as I was sitting at my desk about a breakup. I'll repeat it again. It's the inner fight within that says I am done. And then there's another side of you that is so used to this person or situation that it's, it's like stopping <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> or cutting off a vital part of you and it doesn't want you to stop. So there's that war between the two of I gotta get outta here. I gotta stop this to the other side saying, no, I miss this. I need this. Whether it's the person or a situation, but I'll use a negative wisdom from Santa Monica.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember I told you guys I was engaged to that buffoon </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> not me folks, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Although I do have my moments, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know, I was engaged to this guy who had major mother issues. This mother he had was extremely racist and she was, she was everything that she hated about me was not even true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was herself. Right. I noticed this years later, because I was like, just caught up in the whirlwind of what the heck is <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> going on? Why is this person mistreating me in such a way, both of them, the mother and the buffoon. She was just extremely racist. She was originally from England and was a flight attendant and met this famous actor and got pregnant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know how, what the situation was with the buffoons dad and this racist , but. it just appeared now that I'm looking back at it years later that she glommed on to this guy who was rich and famous, famous actor. Right. And she, I don't know. I mean, she assumed I was her because first of all, I had no idea about their finances.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had no idea that the dad was a famous, famous actor, until we started dating, like I had no clue. And yet the, the dad and I had many things in common. So I don't know. There was just this hate <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> on so many levels. Anyway, it's a long story. Nevermind. I digress. It doesn't matter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's so it doesn't matter. But like with this buffoon, we broke up a few times . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> As things typically seem to go back in your teens and twenties, for sure. And </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, I was in my twenties and so. Just that it was so hard, the back and forth until I was going on assignment, I was doing a photo shoot in Ethiopia.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I was on the plane. And I just had a sense, like, and we were, we were engaged. Like he broke it off because I was going to Africa, you know, he gave me an ultimatum. I'm like, bye buddy. Right? So I'm like, bye buddy. See ya. So I was off and then there was this grand gesture before I left.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">. But my heart wasn't that into it anymore. Cause I, it was just, I'm like, wow, this is ridiculous. Like all this buffoonery if that's a word, I'll just make it up. If it's not, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> are you serious? Yes. And so I was on the plane. I remember the plane was empty. I was sitting in the middle of the plane and something came over me and what that, something was.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I'll use this as a nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica, even though I was somewhere in the atmosphere, on the way to Ethiopia. I just said, you know what? I don't want any more pain. I'm done. I don't want any more pain. And so I went on my photo shoot, which was a very long photo shoot, like two months.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And when I came back, I was on the phone and I had many signs along the way of like, this is not meant for me, like bad, you know, like bad omens, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you were attacked by clowns </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> or no, that. Like, for example, I would think to myself, is this relationship going to be, and all of a sudden at that precise moment Geramo who was, , one of the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> two people that was guiding, me in Ethiopia, he was driving.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He at the same precise moment I had that thought in my head "is this relationship to be?" he turned on the radio. And some song came on saying, love is gone, baby love is gone. Like that was, those were the words, but that I immediately knew, oh my God, that that's for me. Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So anyway, when I came back, there was a phone call and the guy was like, I'm I'm uh, I want to break up and I was like, okay, cool, bye. Like that was it. , and he wanted this long drawn out conversation. He's like, do you want to meet in person? I'm like, no, I'm good. Thanks. I was so done and it doesn't have to be painful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? Like, if you can just declare that you're done with pain, you don't want any more pain I'm telling you. There's such magic in that and you can walk away, but it's not always that <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> easy. You have to get to that point. There, you have it. That's my take. Do you want to add anything before I pontificate even more?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I have a lot to say it's not fair. I know because I, I come into the podcast knowing what we're going to talk about and you're like, no, no, just surprise me. So here we go. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well you did do a couple of the things I think that are necessary to do inside of like really letting go breaking up, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">You identified and you understood the fatigue and pain and you focus maybe more on the negatives and the positive, certainly in your story, you did, as well as I think this is the most key thing is you changed your routine and you changed it drastically. You went to flip'n Africa, you went out, hung out with the tribes for weeks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You had an entire experience and a life shaping experience after you had split away. Now, technically speaking lawyering up, maybe you guys were together because you hadn't quote unquote broken up and <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> I'm a firm believer in making sure everybody knows where they stood stand. Um, but you had then grown off in your own direction.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you weren't part of the same thing. Now it doesn't necessarily have to be at the end of a relationship when you do that, but it doesn't hurt if you want to end a relationship to do something like that. And months too. I think had you gone for a week or two weeks, it could have been a very different outcome, but you had a chance to like breathe in and out your new self, this changed self and you realize that, you know, you, even, if you were to go back to him, that you would have to then now explain who you were now because you had changed, you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then we change all the time. We change </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">hourly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We do change all the time, but if we're seeing someone, every week or every day, every hour, those changes aren't necessarily needing explanation. You know, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> you're not growing off in a brand new direction, the other person, and can bear, witness can experience it as you experience it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So. That's what I want to say about that. I'll go ahead, pontificate. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I have so much to say, where do I start? Like, I, I want to talk about, okay. So yeah, I had the opportunity to be working, so I was far away. I was on the other side of the planet and they bad gave me better perspective for sure. What do we do when we're not traveling in the atmosphere and going to the other side of the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're stalking on Facebook. No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no, no. You know. Okay. For example, friend breakup for me, and this is where like the chemical addiction comes in. So nowhere to go inside of a pandemic, I would talk to friend A every day. Every day, anytime she called boom, I was right there, even though I had things to do, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> I would literally drop and I do this for all my friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I drop everything and I talk to them. Right. But I find there are a couple of friends the past year I've I've had to look at and go, whoa, are they the type three friends that I always searched for, for not only myself, for you, for our kids, but like, All of our friends listening, you know, the Aristotle method.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. So I was like, wow, I had to take a look at it and be really honest and go, is this a true friend? Is this a friend that is only friends with me because of what they're getting from being friends with me, is it a friend who is just friends with me because I make them feel good. Right. Right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I had to come to terms with that. And it was like, Like, Aw, man, here we go again. It's another number one. And it's another number two. It's definitely not three, three being they love you for who you are, no matter what. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> True friend, long lasting everlasting friend, evergreen friend. Can I say that? And so I realized this with one of our friends the last few months, and I knew it as it was happening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, look at this with two friends. Actually, every time they call, I am there. They only call me when they're on the road, driving by themselves or they're walking the dog or somewhere where they're not heard. I got, I got away from </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> kids. I got time. Um, you know, maybe bored. So I'll call I'll </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> call Fawn.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">It just felt like they were, they didn't want our conversations to be overheard by anyone, including their children. Do you know what I mean? I bought, I involve, I involve our kids and everything because everything is a beautiful learning experience. Even when we, you and I have quibbles, we kind </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> of can't escape <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> it when we have quibbles darling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, the it's, uh, it means fight right when we have quibbles. I want them to see that. First of all, it's not violent or anything. It's just a quibble. . But still emotions are high at some time sometimes, but they need to see nothing because they need to see us resolve it and which we always do knock on wood.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. So I, I just don't understand this hiding thing. Right. And I noticed that they were hiding our friendship and I really don't know their perspective because I never really brought it up because it felt like they were the kind of friends where if I did bring it up, they would be like, so. Uh, what do you call it when they get diff defensive, defensive?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I don't want to get into it cause it's, I don't want to get into it. Right, right. I just don't want to. So I had to wean myself off of this one particular friend. We talked every day, but I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> noticed it was mainly her stuff we were talking about. And sometimes it would be my stuff and it would be great, you know?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause you know, she was really there for me. We were there for each other. But I stopped first by accident. I stopped picking up the phone immediately, and then I started to realize, look at that, like what would happen if I didn't invest my entire energy into this person? What would happen? Well the phone calls stop being as frequent. Right. And every day I had to wean myself off of this friendship. Every day I wanted to pick up the phone and call and it was so hard not to I'm like, oh my God, this is like being in my twenties again and stopping myself from making a call. You know what I mean? Like picking up the phone to call this guy or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He just, it was, it was hard. And after some weeks went on and after some months went on, I'm like, totally good. Now <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> I feel like I'm disinfected. I feel like I got it out of my system, whatever I was addicted to. I'm like, okay, I'm good now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm good. Well, they say it takes two weeks to create a habit. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It took way longer than 2 weeks though.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> the trick I think to undo a habit probably takes a lot longer. Oh my God. It was hard. And they also talk about like breakups. Like the rule of breakups is for every six months, you're in a relationship. It takes one month to a, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I never, I never like any kind of rules like that. I, I never fit into any kind of a box it's I, that, that never worked for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Understand what that's saying. That's saying that the feelings will end. It's going to take time. That's really what it's saying, because </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:47]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it'll take longer than you think. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Maybe just be prepared. It's going to take a minute, right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Or not like me on the plane. Like I was like click off. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, but <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> could you have gotten a hold of him easily from Africa at that time?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I had </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no interest in doing that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That wasn't the question that clearly was not the question. I mean, you were camped out in the middle of the Bush, it was you two guides, and a truck, you know what I mean? In the middle of nowhere, Did you have a satellite phone on, you?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No!, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and there you go, folks. So, I mean, even if you had that fleeting moment of: "I wonder" you couldn't have acted on it, so that's not necessary. And that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Right. That was a great thing. Exactly. I mean, you knew. , it's like when you're on a plane, like you get on the plane and , you're going from, let's say LA to New York and you know, it's going to take hours.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're not in a hurry to get to New York. You're understanding that, if you're on the edge of your seat saying, are we there yet? Are we there? It's just going to make the trip miserable. And so you settle into the journey. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So at least that's what I do. That's, that's a good point, Matt, for all of life, for anything, settle into the journey, settling in the now completely.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Exactly. I mean, do you remember that? Do you remember that train trip? We took from Seattle to LA, from Seattle. I'm not talking about going from LA to Seattle. I'm talking about Seattle to LA. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That was the worst. Oh my God. How many thousands of hours did it feel like we were on that? We were on that for what?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">3, 4, 5, 6, 7, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and LA to Seattle did feel that way. Seattle to LA felt that way. Once we got to San Francisco for me, because I remembered our trip that we took up and to get from LA to San Francisco takes, I don't know how many hours, but I had already that's when I was like settled in and I was making.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was drinking,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">but I had settled in and I was mellow. And then, so I thought that the time was equivalent going from San Francisco <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> to LA and turns out it wasn't and it turns out I was just in a hurry to get to LA. So for those last like four or five hours, I want it to be there. Now. Now </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> this last 5, 6, 7, 18 million hours actually talk about buffoonery.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">First of all, the trip down was different because the trip up, we were surrounded by a bunch of racists who you egged on by the way </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, let's not talk about that. Let's just say we were, we were traveling. We weren't traveling. First-class going up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So, Ooh, honey has nothing to do with class. You're right. It does nothing to do with </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> back.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We did travel </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> first-class we did not. Did we? We did. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We did. We did, are you serious? I don't know if it was first class, but it was. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I want to say we made some friends and they were not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> rich or anything. Right. But we had access to that special car. We had our own room with bed. Yes, we did. We didn't, I don't remember that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I remember because one of the most real experiences of my life, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> I listened to Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon", lying in the bunk. That was, I could look out the window and I listen to the whole album. And that was a very surreal experience. It was one of a few surreal experiences. You were, you were probably in the club.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What was I doing? You were probably in the club car. Why wasn't I there with you? I was taking a moment. I did not recall sleeping anywhere. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Anyways. It was wonderfully surreal because there's the clackity clackity clack, but I digress. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> C. All I remember was buffoonery because the train was so late, the train was so late and we were so like, we didn't know, and it stopped for a while.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember, and we couldn't get off. We couldn't do anything. We couldn't get off of the train. We had to just sit there. And it got so bad that we were all laughing hysterically for nothing. It was like we were on drugs or something <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> like seriously. Like, do you remember that we were laughing hysterically at nothing, because we were like, what, what is going on?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Nothing was working. And then. I w I had to go to the bathroom and I came back. I'm like, you guys, I may have caught a sexual transmitted disease from the bathroom. Like I started freaking out about everything and we became friends with the other people and we actually saw them for a couple of years off the train.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. It was so cool. But that train ride was like, wow. Anyway, we digress. Wow. How did we get here? What w w what brought us here? What </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> were you talking about? I had a great point now. I can't remember. Oh, I think I was talking about the, were talking about how you couldn't have gotten a hold of this person when you were in Africa.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was describing how you need to settle into your journey. And then I described when I didn't settle into my journey, that was like, and I was like miserable because I just want to be home. I just <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> want to be home. I just want to be home. That's all I could hear on the train. Take me home. Take me home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So let's say you're not on a train or a plane or a bus or anything that you are stuck in your hometown. How do you deal with a breakup? I had to do this. I turned to one of the movies with a soundtrack and I hate, I hate musicals by the way. I can't stand them. They're so cheesy to me, but I would watch "Mama Mia".</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Which, by the way, my friend who loves musicals just told me that that's just terrible. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> See, it's the opposite, right? I hate musicals, but I love "Mamma Mia", you know, Abba for the win. And I never liked Abba, never liked Abba until "Mama Mia" then I'm like, okay, that's cool. But here's what I did to get over a friend breakup.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I would was a, we even got the CDs, we got the soundtrack to "Mama Mia", and I'm not saying go and get this particular soundtrack, but I'm just telling <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> you, this is what helped me when I had nowhere to fly and I was stuck and trying to get over a friend breakup that was ugly. You guys, it was so ugly. So. I mean beyond ugly, took a very long time to get over that mess. When you were at work, and I had some time alone, I would blast the stereo on this one particular song and just shout at it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And every time I did that, the pain went away, the chemical reaction, you know, the addiction type feeling I was describing. It went away every time and, kudos to the guy downstairs who lives downstairs. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Cause artists you've been patient with us lately hasn't he?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">mean, thank you. Thank you, neighbor downstairs, because we would literally be tiptoeing and being quiet, sitting down, not even walking and he would complain and beat the ceiling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Beat our floor, which is his ceiling, but like I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> would blast this and maybe he knew I was in a lot of emotional pain, but I would blast this and just shout at it, you know, shout the music with it. You know, like the words, the lyrics, right. Until I felt better. And then I'll always was quiet. And S so this </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> begs the question now, are you a true metal head?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Did you listen to you and know your love on. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's not true, like hardcore, but yeah, I would listen to your music, Matt. Well, hold </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> on. No, no, no stop. Because there have been multiple metal artists. Who've covered that particular song. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What song do you think? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't know what song you're talking about. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What song are you talking about?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All your love on me. Describe it. W w we don't want to get in trouble. We can't pay for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it, but don't go wasting your emotions oh </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> my God. First of all, you know, I have a history with that song. I have a history with I'm just saying <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> yes. Yes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I have. There are multiple metal artists who have covered that song. I am </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not kidding.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And it is in mama Mia actually. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry, what was the question? What was the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> song you would jam out to? It was a couple songs. Oh, I see you said one. So now you're changing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it. I'm sorry. Okay. It was, it doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is, cause I don't want to, I want to say, but it, it, it talked about the pain of separation, you know, it, whatever it was, it helped me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> One of my favorite science fiction authors. And unfortunately I have to say one up now because he's letting me down lately. But anyways, he wrote shared joy is increased shared pain is lessened. So, if you share your joy with other people and increases the joy, if you share your pain with others, it helps diffuse it. It helps weaken it, lessen it. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> So even when you're just connecting with an artist on the radio, or you're connecting with a soundtrack, you're still connecting right with somebody who's, at least going to pretend they understand your pain and wants you to feel better. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So a lot of the songs from mamma Mia, that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">A lot of them were helping. So it was more than one song, but the one that would, that I would replay all the time is the one where, and it's funny, cause I can't really answer that question because I'm actually literally blanking out on it at the moment because he put me on the spot, but it's the song where they're going up to the church.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's towards the end of the movie. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Honestly, I know y'all have seen the movie about 87 times in this house. My God. I've never seen the whole thing. Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, there's a scene where the two lovers are finally having the discussion of, you hurt me, you walked away. No, you walked away. You know, whatever it is.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's like, oh yeah, yeah. Okay, Matt. Thanks. I don't know, see I'm, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> we're looking at the titles right now and I don't know, I would have to hear it, but I literally, I listened to it so much and I screamed to it so much, but yet I can't tell you what song, which song it is right now. Um, maybe. Does it really matter?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it doesn't. I was just curious because of the ABBA metal connection, which is not something that seems logically intuitive, but I think, , European, like heavy metal artists are more polyglots when it comes to listening to music and, heavily influenced by the first bands that they listened to when they were children.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So the Beatles are a huge influence and in Sweden and other Scandinavian countries, Abba dominated all </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> for awhile. And you know what? This, the one we got the CD, not all the songs are on the CD, but I think it was a song called when all is said and done. Right. It's with Pierce Pierce, Bronson and Meryl Streep.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm sorry. It's fine. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> No, it says Brosnan. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's what I just said. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh, okay. Nevermind. Whatever it doesn't matter. Anyway. So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you're going to have to do some interesting editing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> on this one. I'm not, not oh yeah. This is my full glory. Huh? All right. So that helped me in listening to music really loud. And when I'm really angry, this is when I'm sad and like hurt.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But when I'm angry, I turn into your files, your music files, which I loved. And then it's, sometimes it's not angry enough. I'm like, what is this stuff? And I don't use the word stuff. I'm like this sounds so like hokey and like listening. No, I w okay. I'll just tell you. Yes, I know. I was trying to act tough the other week I had to call you from the car.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, what is this? What the hell? I'm like, this is not angry music. It sounds like angry music. If you don't really </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> pay attention, it sounds like angry music. When you read the song titles, we digress. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what helps me is to listen to angry music and what helps me is listening to how Halford <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> a Judas </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> priest.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. You just wait, there's a new, there's a new something. Some, so I'm going to drop that. It's very promising. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And then there's another. Do you think </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's right up your alley? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No. Wait, and then there's another one. I don't know who they are, but it's not, I can't even say it because it's foul language that I can't use on the air, but it's just like, oh my God.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So in what you bleep </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Metallica. I actually prefer the original version, which was done by the anti nowhere league, which was a punk band in England in like the early eighties. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, listening to them helps. Right. It helps a lot. So that's what helped me. Before we wrap up the show, can you explain what helps you during breakups and how, how do you get over stuff, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> changing the routine, big change it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it really depends on the depth of the relation. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> But it's a big change in the routine. Now. See, when, when guys break up friendships with other guys, it just turns into silence. There's just radio, silence. And the thing is, is if your life is busy, then you don't even notice that this thing has happened for weeks.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so you've kind of gone through your routine and your breakup. And I have cycles, , in my year. Case in point, in the spring, I used to ride to work well, I'm not doing that now, but still in the springtime I ride to work in July, I've got the tour de France in, fall to winter football season starts.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, there are certain routines that come up and there are certain, cycles that come up. And so when somebody stops talking to me, oftentimes I won't even understand. And then I'll ping them. They don't get back to me and they ping me. I ping them twice by the time I ping them the second time, which is basically just kind of like a, okay, I'm guessing you don't want to talk to me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I don't say that in the text message or however <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> I talked to them, and then I let it go, but that's just, it, the people I love most are under this roof. All the people. And I described that to other people. I say, everybody, I really love is under this roof. So on some level I'm okay now with that said, yeah, my buddy Sini, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we love, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> we hadn't talked in like a week or two.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I was like, did I do something? You know, I immediately went to all that because you know, he's one of those few people that I do. Strive to keep in touch with. And I didn't realize, cause we have an ebb and flow again, talk to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> each other. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Um, but uh, you know, I got back in touch with them and I was making sure everything was cool.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. You know, for the rest, for the rest, sadly, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm in touch, but I'm not like so ingrained </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">anymore.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And that sand actually, it is because we are actually ourselves going <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> through the thing of the art of friendship, we ourselves are trying to find our tribe. Right, right. And we've found them through, through our work here and because of the pandemic, we haven't been able to get together with everyone because there are halfway around the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But yeah. That's yeah. It's, it's very interesting. It's such a guy thing. You know, that's a big difference now </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> with that said, you know, I am in the process of forging relationships. So it's not a question of, of that, but, um, it's, it's, it turns out it's a very slow process for me personally. I'm very cautious and guided and careful yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Case in point. I, I told somebody who I'm in the process of becoming friends with, , that I'm vegan and I just brought it up just as a random, whatever. That's not something I typically share, and I don't typically need to share, so I don't because that carries so much baggage, but I had figured that we had gotten to a place where <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> we could see each other as three-dimensional entities, as opposed to one or two dimensional entity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Which is what happens. What is an evangelical Christian like? Ooh, that's a one-dimensional statement. Well, no! Oh my God. I used to carpool with a guy who was evangelical Christian. He was lovely. He wasn't like preachy. I mean, I started asking him questions and can't dive into those personal, personal philosophy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause it can't help myself. He was, he was a delight, frankly. He wasn't like standing on a soap box, making me feel like shit, which is, I think I've taken that now forward when I talk about being vegan, I make it a point not to be, you know, that way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I know it's such a tricky thing to throw things out, out there like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So political, it is like, so you have to warn someone say, by the way, I'm vegan, by the way, I'm a Virgin, by the way, you know what I mean? It's like all these things that you feel like. Are such guards or are there such, uh no-nos for other <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> people or weird weirdnesses? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, it can. It can, it can land you in a weird state with somebody because people assume, and people would be, you know, it's like, oh, Hey, I know this great steak place.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, hopefully you've had the conversation about being a vegan before that, as opposed to basically just smacking them down. But anyways, digression changing your routine. and this is again, very, very powerful. And it's, it's about doing something completely from left field, basically just maybe something you've always wanted to do something you've always wanted to try something you've always said, I know, one day I will, you know, just going forward and doing that is honestly the biggest, Way, best way to get over a breakup.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And don't you think the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> fastest way to get over a breakup is to really go and be nice to yourself and listen to yourself like do I I really feel good in this relationship. Did I really <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> was I really respected. Do I respect myself? Like, why was I in that? What did I gain from this thing? What is it that makes me want to stay anyway? To really just be nice to yourself and Polish yourself up that, that to me, when you do stuff like that, and you're kind to yourself in all ways; emotionally, physically like making yourself something delicious to eat,making yourself a beautiful drink, whether it's a nice cup of tea or whatever drink, I don't know. But whatever that gives you comfort, like just stay in that and, and host yourself. I think that makes you get over a breakup way faster that way, because you're not concentrating on the other person.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're focused. You just threw out a dichotomy there. First of all. Ignore every word my wife just said, why has to deal with fastest? Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:57]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> okay. Well I'm just,<span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's like when I'm sick and I'm just starting to feel better. I want to feel better right now. And, and the way I know I feel better is when I eat something spicy. So I'll serve myself something spicy and I'll be like, ah, You have to let it breathe. You have to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> excuse me, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> afford yourself the opportunity to breathe basically for yourself, the opportunity.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. You said that, but first you said fastest. You have to let go of fastest. You have to just, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but it is fastest. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You have to let go of fastest and heal and you'll know when you're on the other side. Because you'll feel it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But it also happens. Um, but if you try </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and rush it, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm not trying to rush it, but I'm just saying that's the most effective way is to do what I just said.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't take all my glory. It just happens to be a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> fast way. That's all. I'm not saying. I see what you're saying. All right. Love is winning. Let's wrap it up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Just staring at her </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> quiche. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> All right. That was my Roy Kent</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">stare.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know if you all have experienced the breakup, but if you are reach out to me, if you're not reached out to me to Matt, hello, our friendly world.com.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's going to get better. This is when you know you're alive. When you're feeling all these things you are alive. All right. The world is a wild, wild place. And for the most part, it is beautiful. So just concentrate on what you want. Concentrate on the ideal that you want your life to be.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But I'm telling you, if you do what I said, you don't have to, but all right. All right. Love is winning. I, I think I'm, I'm good. I'm going to just leave it <span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> at that today. All right. Love you guys. Thank you for listening. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[ 
 
Friend breakups are just as painful as romantic break-ups. We have some strategies and stories to share that will have you feeling better.
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
The Break-Up
[00:00:00] Fawn: Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Good. All everything. Hi everybody. Hey, I don't know if it's the subject matter today, but I'm in a mood right now. 
[00:00:13] Matt: Sounds like I'm going to be tapping today. You know 
[00:00:17] Fawn: what? I don't think. I think no matter what you do right now, it's going to get all my last nerves.
[00:00:23] Matt: So if I'm quiet, I'm in trouble. If I talk in trouble. Oh yeah. 
[00:00:27] Fawn: Everything. Everything is bothering me right now. Um, love LOVE IS WINNING. Um, it's the inner fight within that says I am done. And the other side of you you that is used to this situation or person to the point that stopping is like cutting off a vital part of life.
This makes no sense to you cause you have no idea what I'm about to discuss today, right, Matt? 
[00:00:59] Matt: Well, [00:01:00] I, I guess we'll see, 
[00:01:02] Fawn: it's kind of like, what I'm about to talk about is kind of. And not kind of, but to me, what I've noticed is actually like a chemical addiction. Uh, today's topic is, are you ready?
Matt has no idea. The breakup.
[00:01:25] Matt: Yeah. Raise your hand if you've been through a breakup and that your hand, if you went well 
[00:01:29] Fawn: now, well, I raising my hand. I had one that finally went well and I use it as an nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. And I'm not talking about like romantic breakup per se. I'm talking about break up in general, 
breaking up with a friend it is so hard and you think, oh, well it's just a friend, but oh my God, it is incredibly painful. Horrible. So I have some ways that will help with that [00:02:00] pain because breakup looking at the etymology of it, it's a disr...]]>
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                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/IMG-0047-Copy.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:38:03</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Sawubona - Hello, We See you!]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 03 Oct 2021 19:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/sawubona-hello-we-see-you</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/sawubona-hello-we-see-you</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sawubono is the South African Zulu word for "Hello, WE see you, and by seeing you, we bring you into being." </span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Each person you meet, you're actually meeting their family and their ancestry, which means each one person is never alone. You are never alone. Not only are we meeting an individual, an individual person, but we are also meeting a lineage and we're giving respect to all of them.<br /><br />You can walk around the world. And it's not about you, depending on people's luggage and their experience; everyone sees you differently. So to be hung up on "how am I seen by this person or this culture," it's ridiculous because everyone has a different lens on it.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">This episode is about seeing.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Speaking of giving credit where it's due, I give credit and acknowledge the ancient ISA Zulu greeting. And that's what we're going to talk about today. Sawubona Sawubona is a greeting in South Africa. Sawubona is the Zulu word for how we say hello or in India, how we say "Namaste" Namaste is way deeper than "hello" because it's essentially saying I see the light in you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but two people use it just as a hello, like a, Hey yeah know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know, but everywhere we went.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People of all ages will greet you with Namaste. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I didn't know what it was when I was first there. And I was used to mean kids in the United States. So when all these kids were like laughing and smiling and say Namaste I thought they were making fun of me. Do you know what I mean? I had no idea what it meant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> And then when I found out I'm like, oh my God, do you see the amount of pain? That I feel, I don't even realize that if some kids are smiling and laughing and saying something to me, cause I've never met and because they're laughing, I think they're making fun of me. This was the child in me thinking that, being so ignorant of a culture or a word because of my own pain thinking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's malicious </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and also unwilling to come at it from a complete point of naivete. Did you know that they're saying now that, even a smiley face in a text can be sarcastic. Are you serious? I mean, I've always viewed because. You know, when you get a text or you use chat to communicate with your coworkers,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Sawubono is the South African Zulu word for "Hello, WE see you, and by seeing you, we bring you into being." 
Each person you meet, you're actually meeting their family and their ancestry, which means each one person is never alone. You are never alone. Not only are we meeting an individual, an individual person, but we are also meeting a lineage and we're giving respect to all of them.You can walk around the world. And it's not about you, depending on people's luggage and their experience; everyone sees you differently. So to be hung up on "how am I seen by this person or this culture," it's ridiculous because everyone has a different lens on it.
This episode is about seeing.
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Speaking of giving credit where it's due, I give credit and acknowledge the ancient ISA Zulu greeting. And that's what we're going to talk about today. Sawubona Sawubona is a greeting in South Africa. Sawubona is the Zulu word for how we say hello or in India, how we say "Namaste" Namaste is way deeper than "hello" because it's essentially saying I see the light in you, 
[00:00:31] Matt: but two people use it just as a hello, like a, Hey yeah know, 
[00:00:36] Fawn: I don't know, but everywhere we went.
People of all ages will greet you with Namaste. 
I didn't know what it was when I was first there. And I was used to mean kids in the United States. So when all these kids were like laughing and smiling and say Namaste I thought they were making fun of me. Do you know what I mean? I had no idea what it meant.
[00:01:00] And then when I found out I'm like, oh my God, do you see the amount of pain? That I feel, I don't even realize that if some kids are smiling and laughing and saying something to me, cause I've never met and because they're laughing, I think they're making fun of me. This was the child in me thinking that, being so ignorant of a culture or a word because of my own pain thinking.
It's malicious 
[00:01:29] Matt: and also unwilling to come at it from a complete point of naivete. Did you know that they're saying now that, even a smiley face in a text can be sarcastic. Are you serious? I mean, I've always viewed because. You know, when you get a text or you use chat to communicate with your coworkers,
]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Sawubona - Hello, We See you!]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Sawubono is the South African Zulu word for "Hello, WE see you, and by seeing you, we bring you into being." </span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">Each person you meet, you're actually meeting their family and their ancestry, which means each one person is never alone. You are never alone. Not only are we meeting an individual, an individual person, but we are also meeting a lineage and we're giving respect to all of them.<br /><br />You can walk around the world. And it's not about you, depending on people's luggage and their experience; everyone sees you differently. So to be hung up on "how am I seen by this person or this culture," it's ridiculous because everyone has a different lens on it.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:large;">This episode is about seeing.</span></span></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Transcript</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Speaking of giving credit where it's due, I give credit and acknowledge the ancient ISA Zulu greeting. And that's what we're going to talk about today. Sawubona Sawubona is a greeting in South Africa. Sawubona is the Zulu word for how we say hello or in India, how we say "Namaste" Namaste is way deeper than "hello" because it's essentially saying I see the light in you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but two people use it just as a hello, like a, Hey yeah know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't know, but everywhere we went.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">People of all ages will greet you with Namaste. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I didn't know what it was when I was first there. And I was used to mean kids in the United States. So when all these kids were like laughing and smiling and say Namaste I thought they were making fun of me. Do you know what I mean? I had no idea what it meant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> And then when I found out I'm like, oh my God, do you see the amount of pain? That I feel, I don't even realize that if some kids are smiling and laughing and saying something to me, cause I've never met and because they're laughing, I think they're making fun of me. This was the child in me thinking that, being so ignorant of a culture or a word because of my own pain thinking.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's malicious </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and also unwilling to come at it from a complete point of naivete. Did you know that they're saying now that, even a smiley face in a text can be sarcastic. Are you serious? I mean, I've always viewed because. You know, when you get a text or you use chat to communicate with your coworkers,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've always said that all the tone is positive, that there is no negative tone, even when I'm like feeling very frustrated, but I'm still typing nicely. I'm <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> like, there is no tone in an email. And so I'm always very careful to put flipin' smiley faces in my text messages so people will know that, I'm not unhappy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but see, this is why it's never out of style or out of date to use your words and to choose your words and make sure that you express yourself with the words.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you can explain, I am feeling this way, rather than just, getting to business with a text. That's why, you know, like periods of years ago became out of date. So if you put a period at the end of something or a question mark, it means you're yelling. So people. Oh, my God, this was years ago. I'm yelling.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, this was years ago. Yeah. Things change, you know, different, um, different generations will change the rules. So with texting, if there's ever a period at the end, I don't know if they're still feeling this way, but if you put a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> period or a question mark, when you're asking something, it means you're yelling; something is wrong; that you're really busy. Right. So then I stopped using exclamation points or, you know, well, not exclamation points, but punctuation is what I was trying to say. Um, but I don't think you can ever go wrong by using your words, choosing words to express what is going on or maybe is that ever going to be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">out of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">date?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Maybe I just need a new emoji, the non sarcastic smiling. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, we'll just forget the emojis. We need to really learn how to communicate anyway. Can we get back to sawubona please? okay. We get into the meanings of words, the etymology and everything today. I just want to talk about the pure genius and love of Sawubona</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">like I said, it's south African, it's the Zulu word for hello, it means. We see you. We see you. That's what it is. And it's a, we <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> not, I, so you're walking around. I see you. I'm walking around and I see you, man. I'm like, "Sawubona". I'm saying, we see you. And why is it the we? It's because</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">it is, we see you and by seeing you, we bring you into being, but the "I" is a connection to an ancient lineage of family and ancestry with each one person that you meet; their family and ancestry as well.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Each one person you meet, you're meeting their family and you're meeting their ancestry, which means each one person is never alone. You are never alone. Not only are we meeting an individual, an individual person, we are meeting a lineage and we're giving respect to all of them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> they literally treat <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> every single hello, almost like an engagement party where the families get together to, you know, wish well upon the couple, as it were, you know, they'd very much inside of a quote unquote simple greeting that really putting, wow. Tons of energy on it. But then what does it mean? How do you greet someone that you don't like that, you know, you despise, maybe </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> we see you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're just seeing them. We see you. I'm not saying, oh, wow. You're my best friend. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> OOOOOOOOOH! I like the sinister </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">motive though, too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh my God, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Matt! Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> We see you, buddy! We see you. We see everything </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But also we see you in love. We see you in light. We see you. You know, friendship and happiness and wisdom, but like we see you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and then, and seeing others.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I mean, we always talk about this. We need to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> really know your inner Popeye, right? You need to know yourself. Do we see ourselves even, you know, I go back to your mother who takes great pride in saying that she does not acknowledge her heritage because she is American. She is white angle Anglo-Saxon is that how you say it? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Anglo-Saxon Protestant wasp.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So she does not want to acknowledge any heritage other than she is American. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. She was taught that from a very young age though. She didn't, she doesn't really know very much about her heritage. And as a matter of fact, oh my goodness. They were actually told there was this big trunk in, Norway with the tutorial name on it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And did they want them to ship it to them? And they didn't know what was in it. This was like, I guess customs or God knows what. They wanted to ship them, basically a big crate of maybe heritage. It might've just been, you know, rusty chains, but you don't know. And they said, no. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> So they destroyed it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is your family, my family?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Good lord. Wow. That's, that's a shame and </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> there's something very, very dark in the past, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but that's just, it that's, that's the problem that I want to get into today is that, by shifting focus by not really seeing each other, by not even seeing ourselves, we're doing each other a great disservice. And that is why we are in the pickle that we are in, in our society today, you know, on all levels in business, how do we see each other? How do we treat each other? Do we ignore each other? You show up with some crazy shirts every day. And no one will comment. Lately they've been commenting, but probably because you've sent hints to them, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> honestly, it's, it's my coworkers from my previous job. And it's because we have a very frank candid <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> conversation together once a week where I bring up exactly what I'm squirreling around with, but it's time for my pock-a-dotted t-shirt I should wear that on Monday.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How does this happen in society? For example, we, we don't want to see each other and there are groups within society that we tend to shut away, like the elderly, where are the elderly, even the little kids shut away. Like women, women shut away not to be seen. Generations back, you heard the thing about children are not to be seen or heard, right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yes. That's ridiculous. Right? Because they're ambassadors of love that come in. If anything, the elderly and the little, little kids have much to say, because their message is pure because it's not muted by the rest of society. Their message is loud and clear, but we put them away into different compartments where we can't see them.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">They're not involved in things. in then the middle part of society, the major part of society, I feel like I'm, I'm jumping all over the place with what I wanted to say, but I just want to reemphasize, we see you. And by seeing you, we bring you into being</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and truly do we see ourselves when we see ourselves, we see others and they see us. There's so many things I wanted to make this a quick show today. So I I'm really studying the craft of children's picture books and there was this one book. We get to read all the most amazing picture books.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Picture books are. The books that have beautiful illustrations with them, and then they have a message and it's meant for usually the parents read it to the kids. Right. So it's at the stage where like, usually they're read <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> to at night or something and. It involves the parent and the child or whoever's reading and the child.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And then after that, then the other stage after picture books are like early learning books. I guess it depends. It depends on the child, but this is, it's an art form. There was this one book that I read this week. That first of all, all these books are masterpieces works of art. I don't care how old you are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Guys. Go get it lots of picture books just to have around the house because they all have the most brilliant, thoughtful messages of encouragement of enlightenment. It's just beautiful. So there's one, one that kind of suits what we're talking about today with we see you Sawubona, is called: "They All Saw a Cat". This cat is walking around and has a little bell on its neck.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's walking around and says, the dog saw a cat and it shows the perspective of the dog, how the dog sees this cat. And the cat goes around, you know, throughout the day and these different animals, see the cat, a bee sees the cat, and the bee sees a cat of just like a kaleidoscope of shapes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, because of his fractally eyes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. And if a human being sees the cat, you see this cute little fuzzy thing, right? A cute little cat. Exactly. The mouse sees this vicious, the sharp claws and the sharp teeth, like very scary. The fish sees a cat, a fish sees the cat. Like they all see this one cat. From their experience, this cat looks completely different and it's such a beautiful message.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's like, wow, you can walk around the world. And it's not about you, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> depending on people's luggage and their experience; everyone sees you differently. So to be hung up on how am I seen by this person or this culture, it's ridiculous because everyone has a different lens on.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's true. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But you do have to understand how they may see you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you for saying that, because when I say that to you, you're like, oh God, we're bringing, we're bringing race into this again. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> To quote "Ted Lasso". So Ted has these little army figures that his son gave him that, Ted lasso, by the way, fantastic series on apple TV. He has these little army figures that his son gave him and his son said, you know, put these around to help protect you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so he attempted to hand it to one of the Nigerian players and the Nigerian player picked it up and he was so gracious. He was like, wow, thank you coach. But the American army means something very different to me and he handed it back. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you. Yeah, exactly. But </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it was all done <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> without, you know, understood the spirit in which it was given and accepted it and then returned it with an explanation for why without being, you know, mean or ornery about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I'm not being mean or ornery about things when I'm bringing up race issues, Matt, but I think, I just think it may be. Is as a touchy subject. Do you know what I mean, touchy subject. Well, yeah, but why didn't Ted lasso get so offended by that? It's interesting. And that's what makes the, the spirit of this character, Ted lasso so beautiful, loving,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> well, he will,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> , he accepts an honors other people's point of view, other people's feelings. Right. Rather than trying to fight it and say, no, we're not. We're there to help you. You know what I mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I want to talk about how this happens in our society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">For example, again, we can go <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> back to Ted Lasso there's a scene where one of the coaches. Who is brown wants to get a seat at the table by the window at a restaurant. And they're like, sure, we can give you a reservation, but here in the corner where no one can see you. Right. And we had to pause and go, oh my God, are they actually going to get into it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But they did it. They did it in a different way. They talked about the issue of being assertiveness. Right, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. Yeah. Also the other thing was celebrity. Don't forget. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, because they said. Cause he's like, well, my I'm friends with Roy who was famous. Right. And they're like, well, anytime Roy wants to come here, he can have a reservation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can have the window seat. Yeah. He can have the reservation for the window seat. And so, and, and they turned it into it's. It's about, it's about assertiveness. So yeah, perhaps you have to, to get over the hump <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> of not being seen. You have to assert yourself where </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you have to say "see me" . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You have to stand up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to make yourself a big Prairie dog. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Whoosh. Well, it's a touchy subject because if you make yourself big, then you're seen as threatening. So for a white woman to make herself big, that's how she is able to be seen. If I make myself any bigger, I'm a threat or how dare you? Who do you think you are?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? It doesn't quite work. So there's, there's. I don't know there there's a, uh, an intricate art to this, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right. And for me, it's even weirder because I'm six foot three I've got now hair. I finally got long hair again. Yay. For me, I've got long hair and you know, I speak in a loud voice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So, how am I not seen is the weirdness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Your group, your tribe, if you will, is seen because you are Caucasian and you're tall, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> you have blue eyes. So you you're the main scene. You are</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> As he gulps his coffee. Well, no, it just seems like I'm telling you that. And then you feel guilty. Don't feel guilty, but see me also an and teach other people to see other things. So teach, teach in a very loving, very, very, like, soft way. Please spread the word around and have people see people like me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Absolutely. That's interesting. Going back to Ted lasso again, there's one particular episode right here. Well, do you remember Roy was, , on the TV show and one of the other men on the panel was talking about he had, he made the rude, sexist comments about women drivers. Remember that? <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> Yes. And Roy immediately shut him down and said </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">something about the guy lost his license. Do you know what I mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh no. And he went for it. It was like, you lost your license. Cause you, were you, you would you for drunk driving? And he said, no, it was my medication. He's like, oh, why did you, why did you go to the bathroom on </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yourself? No. Is this the same medication?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah, but you see in doing that, but that he did it in Roy way. You know, the Roy is very gruff this character, but do you see what. He immediately without skipping a beat, stuck up for women. Right, right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> But again, he's someone else. I mean, there's so many on that show. Everybody knows who they are and maybe that's because the writers are brilliant.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe that's because they've written one dimensional characters. Maybe that it doesn't matter. They know who they are. They have complicated him. And honestly, I think they have complicated histories that, you know, we'd started to get into and like the last </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">show. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And look, look at what's happening in creating space for us to see these people, these characters, we're learning true.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a healing and that's the beauty of art. That's the beauty of it. That's what I'm talking about. They're teaching people how to navigate, how to be, how to see, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> but we also need to be fully cognizant of our past and we need to honor it and we need to respect it at the same time, because one of the things I immediately jumped to when you talk about how you know, we see you, we see all of you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everybody always talks about, well, everybody I can allow news from Britain. So that's what it is. But everybody always talks about how the queen will say we are not amused and it's the regal we right. And now let's, let's flip that over on its end. It's because she has to always be aware of the fact that not only does she represent herself, she represents her country and yeah, okay,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">everybody knows that, but she also represents her entire <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> family, which includes like king Henry, the eighth, who is, you know, by all accounts, he was. You know, he wasn't a bigamist, but my God let's invent a church and let's decapitate our wives. And so we can marry someone else. Wow.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She has to also live under that. And everybody who meets her knows </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">that, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and each person has that same situation as the queen, every single person in the world. And that's the beauty of sawubona because it is your entire lineage. And for me, you know, I don't like to go back to my, the family I was born into and that's, I don't even say my family.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I say the family I was born into. Right. Because I had to completely cut myself off from the immediate people I was born into, which unfortunately for a while, I had to completely cut myself off from my entire lineage to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> totally see myself and respect myself and honor myself, and then get back into the lineage part, not just the immediate people who hurt me, who severely hurt me and were not ever going to change and coming to the realization of that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Once all that was healed for me, I was about, you know, okay. I understand now the beauty of the lineage. It started with cooking ,the beauty of Persian cuisine and what, what it truly means. That's why I cried when I saw it at first, Persian cookbook. I wept at the store because she was explaining</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">the background of each recipe and why we do things. And how is it that we host one another? How is it that we welcome each other into our lives, into our homes? What is the meaning of this, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> this ritual? What is the meaning of this recipe truly? Where does it really come from and how my providing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How am I providing the sacred space from the sacred, beautiful culture? I was ready to see that. It was safe for me to be that and have that behind me. And in doing that, I was even more open to seeing everyone else's and like how we said, how you said Matt, all the good, the bad and the ugly, the beautiful, all of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The whole kaleidoscope kind of like what the bee sees right. Of every single person, like all of it. Right. And just respecting and honoring all that. And this is what we're about. Once again with this whole movement that you and I are trying to create a friendship, the art of friendship, really seeing each other.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's what we've said on <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> every show. I see you, the power of that, the power of saying that changes. I remember the first time I, I heard it directed at me. This person didn't know me and said Fawn, I see you. And I almost like my entire chemistry, my body chemistry changed immediately and I wanted to weep because this, the white man said, I see you in a loving way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As opposed to being in school and the teacher is saying, I see you when I was trying to run away at a class. I remember Mr. Lomeli. I had ditched another class and I saw him coming. So I turned around and I w started to quickly, like very fast walk, speed, walk away. He said, Fawn, I see you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I can be, I can top that. I was like my high school across the street. There <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> was a cemetery don't ask campus was locked down, but you could get out through the band room and yes, it is my secret shame. I was in the high school marching in concert band last year, trumpet rock on. And we had, there was a door that we could open that would</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">get us out of the school and then we'd have to run across the street to the cemetery. And then we were quote, unquote safe. And one day we were, as we were cutting across the lawn, me and my buddy, Mrs. Callard was like, Matt, Matt. And then she said, Matthew Anderson, where are you going? And I was like, bro, bro,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">completely caught, completely busted. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Oh yeah. See, Mr. Lomeli taught me the concept of people's backs. He said, don't you think I could recognize you from behind he's like, so he went into this explanation. He said, you know, someone has the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> it factor, if you can recognize them in a crowd. And I was in a crowd by the way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And he didn't see my face. Yeah. Like I turned around and before he had an opportunity to actually see, see me. So I thought if I turn around, he just won't recognize me. Right. And so this is when he made me feel special because he went on to say, you know, when you look at certain movie stars, looking, looking at them throughout history, even if you can always tell the person who has the it factor, if you, if you're looking at a crowd.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you can recognize someone from behind . There's a, there's a special space, like orb around them, like a special force field around them. And actually everyone has this, but he was seeing me throughout the semester. Do you know what I mean? He was seeing my pain and in the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> drama of it all. And so he truly saw me, so he could recognize me in a crowd of other kids.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's what I'm talking about. Also. It was like really seeing each other in all ways and recognizing one another. The system is built in such a way that we don't see certain people, like I was talking about, you know, we tend to take the elderly and shut them away. The kids shut them away, people of color shut them away.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, you want to talk about apartheid and the whole history of the United States, separate fountains, separate buses, separate schools, all of that. But if you really think about it, It's in business. It's still happening, not just with color, but certain people are not to be seen. We do it in our own homes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember our very first three episodes we talked about. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> I talked about why there is this loneliness epidemic, where does it really come from? The art of friendship is lost. Where did that come from? It comes from, especially within our society now in the United States, it's comes from separateness .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Like you grew up in a totally different household than I did. Matt, you all, each of you had your own separate room, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:23]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> right? It was even worse because even my dad had a study and my mom had God sexist, sewing room, and then we all had our own bedrooms and, and the kids were upstairs and the grownups were downstairs </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> within a home</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you had your own separate countries, your own separate. Uh, zones, right. And not to be entered by any other person that's you yours. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:51]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And what was even weirder is like the living room, the quote-unquote we had a living room and a family, or my God, too many rooms. I never went in the living room. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It was unless we had company </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's ridiculous.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And my buddy Dale had something similar. I never went in. His friends with him for years. Never went in his room. Ever not even once it was like kids weren't allowed. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So think about that. How does that not create distance in society? If we grow up in a home like that in the United States, especially in the, uh, in the seventies and eighties and probably the nineties, that's what, that's how homes were designed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">This is why even as an, you know, I'm an architectural photographer, I'm always interested in, oh my God, why are we designing like this? Why are you designing </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in like this? Yeah. Well, and, and every single, it seems like every single show that a home remodel, we want to open up a.dot, dot you open up the kitchen.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We want to break down the walls, which is, which </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is interesting. An open concept. So perhaps that's a good sign, right? An open <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> heart concept, but we're still doing. You know, each, each kid has their own toy. You know what I mean? Now it's apparent because now we're talking about the structure of the home, but still every child has their own room and oh, you don't, you, you sleep in the same room.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like more than two kids, then there's a stigma right there with that. Right. Or like even like, um, when the kids are little, the concept of family beds in many cultures, the family sleeps in the same bed. In the United States, everything is taboo. Cause everything is assumed is sexual. Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's not right. I mean, remember when the kids were little, we talked about this before, but when the kids were little, we had company over and this was when we turned the bedroom. It was very, the style of it was very Zen. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> It was very Japanese. All, everything is just one muted color. We all slept in the same room, none of the same bed, but in the same room, like it was the sleeping room. And one of our guests was like, oh, how do you guys have sex? Like immediately this person had never been to our home before it was a party. And she announced this question out loud for the entire</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">party, right. Like, wow, you're obsessed with sex. So, because she rudely like, like brought this microphone question about, you know, something that is so personal and in front of the kids and everything. I mean, first of all, I have always been open with talking about everything with children, but, and I'm not ashamed of sex in that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's not the point. The point is for her, it was a very. Secretive kind of a thing. And it was, it <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> was just rude. So I, for the first time in my life did not wait a few months. I had a snappy comeback and I was so proud of myself because usually months later in the shower, I will have, Tourette's like, there's a lot I should have said, but I immediately said, wow, sex must be kind of boring.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you think it's only meant for the bed or the, for the bedroom. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. And also probably a good thing that we had. I think we had more than one bathroom because I could see them asking, oh my God, everybody goes to the bathroom in the same, please. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But just, you know, let's take a look at that because now we're looking at rooms, right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's like, it's obvious. Like, okay. Yes, we've opened up the kitchen and now we have open concepts now in the way the American home is being designed. But in what ways are we not seeing that we are totally separate. The nucleus of it all within our families. What are we doing that is creating separation that once we're out in <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> society, that translates into friendship because whatever you do in your family, whatever you do in your nucleus world, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Translates to how you treat other people in society; i.e friendship, how are we? What are our friendships like the United States? It's very separate. Like this friend is my work. Separated. It where, yeah, that is my </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:22]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> friend things. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, but you're, you're a computer programmer and that's how your brain works.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You have to to survive well </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> code. Right. And actually I am slowly peeling the onion with some people.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But like you have to shut off a certain thought to come up with ABCD, to what, two, three, whatever you're typing that creates a code that makes things happen. I can't imagine bringing in whatever's happening in your life? Well, no, it's an art. Nevermind. I don't know what I'm saying. Right? Cause you use life experience to create anything <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> including code, correct?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That is true. It's it's because I've made so many mistakes or I've seen others make so many mistakes that, you know, knock on wood, I can avoid a lot of mistakes. Of course they keep inventing new mistakes. So, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but like, think about it. We have separate schools. We have private schools, we have public schools, we have schools for the artistic minded .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you're rich enough to put your child in that kind of school, you have Montessori. It's like, there are all these separate things. And I don't know, it happens in business and it happens in families. Right. I want to talk about all that within all of our shows. Obviously that's what we've done the past year.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I want, I want us to really look at that. So when we see each other, really seeing each other that by spending time with people. So coming out of your rooms, coming out of your, whatever separate compartment you've been <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> put in, or you're, you're putting yourself in, coming out of that, spending time with people, it allows us to appreciate their lives.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So if you're seeing someone outside of your social brackets, is that what it's called? Social hurdles. Outside of your social circle, someone that looks totally different from you, someone of a completely different culture, someone with a completely different skin color than you, someone that has a wildly different experience of life than you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">If you truly see them, you're appreciating that life you're appreciated. That, that person, their existence. And you can see the deep value in all of life. That's why people who spend time with animals tend to become vegan. You're appreciating the value of all life. And you understand, you come to an understanding, that's it.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Fair enough.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You have nothing to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> say. Well, you just wrapped it up so nicely. I feel weird trying to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> add something to it. So we're not going to add, I see, I have folks out there. If you ever talk to me on the phone, which you can, if you email us at, if you just email us at www.Ourfriendlyworld.com. But if you ever get on the phone with me, I can never hang up.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You will always be the one that says, okay, bye. And I will wait for you to hang up. So it's so hard for every episode for me to just say, okay, that's it. I always end up talking. We talk about this all the time. I think it's my culture. Like I always say like Persian people have parties that lasts until six in the morning and it's not because we're drunk </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">well, we are rowdy and drunk sometimes, but yeah. You don't, it's hard to say goodbye. So will you say goodbye, the party follows you to the door to greet you at the door again, to like wave goodbye, but there's another party <span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> happening at the door that will last another minimum. 30 minutes of goodbyes, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">you can't just say, bye. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. So it's hard for me to end so seriously. Nothing else or wait, that's it. All right. I will end with this. When you are walking down the street,SAWUBONA, we see you. The response to that is "Yes, we see you too." So yes, we see you too. We love you. Thank you for listening.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Talk to you in a few days. Be well.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/11391%2Fef17215c-7eb0-4ada-ae06-77e81f087a6d%2FSawubona-.mp3" length="36396818"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Sawubono is the South African Zulu word for "Hello, WE see you, and by seeing you, we bring you into being." 
Each person you meet, you're actually meeting their family and their ancestry, which means each one person is never alone. You are never alone. Not only are we meeting an individual, an individual person, but we are also meeting a lineage and we're giving respect to all of them.You can walk around the world. And it's not about you, depending on people's luggage and their experience; everyone sees you differently. So to be hung up on "how am I seen by this person or this culture," it's ridiculous because everyone has a different lens on it.
This episode is about seeing.
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: Speaking of giving credit where it's due, I give credit and acknowledge the ancient ISA Zulu greeting. And that's what we're going to talk about today. Sawubona Sawubona is a greeting in South Africa. Sawubona is the Zulu word for how we say hello or in India, how we say "Namaste" Namaste is way deeper than "hello" because it's essentially saying I see the light in you, 
[00:00:31] Matt: but two people use it just as a hello, like a, Hey yeah know, 
[00:00:36] Fawn: I don't know, but everywhere we went.
People of all ages will greet you with Namaste. 
I didn't know what it was when I was first there. And I was used to mean kids in the United States. So when all these kids were like laughing and smiling and say Namaste I thought they were making fun of me. Do you know what I mean? I had no idea what it meant.
[00:01:00] And then when I found out I'm like, oh my God, do you see the amount of pain? That I feel, I don't even realize that if some kids are smiling and laughing and saying something to me, cause I've never met and because they're laughing, I think they're making fun of me. This was the child in me thinking that, being so ignorant of a culture or a word because of my own pain thinking.
It's malicious 
[00:01:29] Matt: and also unwilling to come at it from a complete point of naivete. Did you know that they're saying now that, even a smiley face in a text can be sarcastic. Are you serious? I mean, I've always viewed because. You know, when you get a text or you use chat to communicate with your coworkers,
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                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:37:54</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[1 Year Celebration]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Sep 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/1-year-celebration</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/1-year-celebration</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We are celebrating one year of talking about the art of friendship around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on the very first show "The Mentor" that explains this whole podcast; that our girls would be in on the episodes. They have been working behind the scenes and the past year have become introverts (can you blame them, with all that's happened in the world the past 2 years?</span></span></p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Birthday episode - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here we are everyone. Hello? Hello. Hi everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. We are celebrating one year of talking about goodness, one year of talking on the air around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on my very first show. I say my, because that shows just me talking our very first episode called the mentor that explains this whole podcast. That's what I meant by my show, but I had promised that it would be the family and the girls would be in on the episodes. And what turned out was they were behind the scenes. They didn't want to talk. They became quite antisocial is not the word for it, but they what's a, what's a, what's the word for it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Introvert. Yeah, but everybody here they are Martine. I promised here they are. Martina has been wanting to hear you guys. So here we are everybody. I'd like to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> introduce you all to our lovely littles little ladies. We haveElle: </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> hello </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and Alegra: </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> Whats up? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Fabulous. Oh my God. You guys come on. We need to speak. You guys have been very quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We've all been very still this , past year. Quite still. We've been very centered. And yet at the same time, we've been making friends from around the world. We've met so many of our family members, family, as in the family that we create a family circle of friends from around the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's a list now, that we can truly call family members. I thought we would start the show off today by getting in the word celebration. Are you ready? I wanted to talk about ceremony, but it just seemed so serious. I like the word celebration better and what it is, it's just gathering, it speaks of honoring <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> of a day or season by appropriate festivities. That celebration. And I want to say, I started to truly celebrate when you and I got together, Matt!. I mean, I would celebrate my birthday, but I wouldn't have parties ever. I would always have my alone spot. It was usually at the channel islands near Santa Barbara.</span></span></p>...]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We are celebrating one year of talking about the art of friendship around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on the very first show "The Mentor" that explains this whole podcast; that our girls would be in on the episodes. They have been working behind the scenes and the past year have become introverts (can you blame them, with all that's happened in the world the past 2 years?
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
Birthday episode - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Here we are everyone. Hello? Hello. Hi everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. We are celebrating one year of talking about goodness, one year of talking on the air around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on my very first show. I say my, because that shows just me talking our very first episode called the mentor that explains this whole podcast. That's what I meant by my show, but I had promised that it would be the family and the girls would be in on the episodes. And what turned out was they were behind the scenes. They didn't want to talk. They became quite antisocial is not the word for it, but they what's a, what's a, what's the word for it?
Introvert. Yeah, but everybody here they are Martine. I promised here they are. Martina has been wanting to hear you guys. So here we are everybody. I'd like to [00:01:00] introduce you all to our lovely littles little ladies. We haveElle: 
[00:01:06] Elle: hello 
[00:01:08] Fawn: and Alegra: 
[00:01:10] Allegra: Whats up? 
[00:01:11] Fawn: Fabulous. Oh my God. You guys come on. We need to speak. You guys have been very quiet.
We've all been very still this , past year. Quite still. We've been very centered. And yet at the same time, we've been making friends from around the world. We've met so many of our family members, family, as in the family that we create a family circle of friends from around the world.
There's a list now, that we can truly call family members. I thought we would start the show off today by getting in the word celebration. Are you ready? I wanted to talk about ceremony, but it just seemed so serious. I like the word celebration better and what it is, it's just gathering, it speaks of honoring [00:02:00] of a day or season by appropriate festivities. That celebration. And I want to say, I started to truly celebrate when you and I got together, Matt!. I mean, I would celebrate my birthday, but I wouldn't have parties ever. I would always have my alone spot. It was usually at the channel islands near Santa Barbara....]]>
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                    <![CDATA[1 Year Celebration]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We are celebrating one year of talking about the art of friendship around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on the very first show "The Mentor" that explains this whole podcast; that our girls would be in on the episodes. They have been working behind the scenes and the past year have become introverts (can you blame them, with all that's happened in the world the past 2 years?</span></span></p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>Birthday episode - TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here we are everyone. Hello? Hello. Hi everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. We are celebrating one year of talking about goodness, one year of talking on the air around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on my very first show. I say my, because that shows just me talking our very first episode called the mentor that explains this whole podcast. That's what I meant by my show, but I had promised that it would be the family and the girls would be in on the episodes. And what turned out was they were behind the scenes. They didn't want to talk. They became quite antisocial is not the word for it, but they what's a, what's a, what's the word for it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Introvert. Yeah, but everybody here they are Martine. I promised here they are. Martina has been wanting to hear you guys. So here we are everybody. I'd like to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> introduce you all to our lovely littles little ladies. We haveElle: </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> hello </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and Alegra: </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:10]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> Whats up? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Fabulous. Oh my God. You guys come on. We need to speak. You guys have been very quiet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We've all been very still this , past year. Quite still. We've been very centered. And yet at the same time, we've been making friends from around the world. We've met so many of our family members, family, as in the family that we create a family circle of friends from around the world.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">There's a list now, that we can truly call family members. I thought we would start the show off today by getting in the word celebration. Are you ready? I wanted to talk about ceremony, but it just seemed so serious. I like the word celebration better and what it is, it's just gathering, it speaks of honoring <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> of a day or season by appropriate festivities. That celebration. And I want to say, I started to truly celebrate when you and I got together, Matt!. I mean, I would celebrate my birthday, but I wouldn't have parties ever. I would always have my alone spot. It was usually at the channel islands near Santa Barbara.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I would leave Santa Monica and just go be by myself and watch the whales and the seals. I'd take the boat out there and I call it like a committee meeting. I would look at the whole year everything that I experienced. All the people that I met, I would kind of record everything and do like, a boardroom meeting in my own spirit and figure out what I wanted to do next. And I was wondering if we could do that today and talk to Elle and Allegra about the whole celebration idea and the concept of hosting because you and I always talk about to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> truly be friends to truly have the society that we should, that's friendly and compassionate, you have to be a good host, like when someone comes into your home, a good host walking out on the street, a host to strangers, a host to your friends, a host to your family. Life is about celebration. Life is a ceremony.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">All right. Why don't you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:23]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> pretty much is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's pretty much is</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> I guess you could say that </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:28]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> wow. Way to add. Um, no, no, no, no. Abs and that's what I do. Yeah, no, no, no, absolutely. Is, is what I do. And yeah, I've heard myself say that about a million times, but it's also about in my mind being a good host is about you're somebody that people know they can go to and you're going to offer them comfort; be it food, be it maybe an answer to a problem that they're having, et cetera. You are a place <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> for things to progress maybe as a, is an interesting way of putting it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:04]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> Yeah, you're right. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think of it as taking care of someone. You guys know me. I always go to food. So when I host someone, I'll make sure that they have enough to drink and enough to eat, and they're warm enough for cool enough comfortable enough to express their emotions, creating a space where the person feels special.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I feel special too, that we all feel special creating that space. And you can create that kind of, of sanctuary on the street, in your home, in the bathroom, wherever you go. And I think we can spread that idea beyond our own tiny little homes and really take it out there to the world, to all the countries.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Can you imagine if all the countries lived like that with the concept of being a good host, that you're there to make <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> sure someone's needs are taken care of. That they're heard, they're listened to that they're seen instead of just looking at someone and saying, oh, they're there, she goes, the crazy middle Eastern person, or, whatever value and judgements that society puts on you instead of just seeing the human heart, the living heart, whether it's in, a squirrel or a human being, It's about being compassionate and being there for one another.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> You're right. It is kind of.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Let's just talk about everything we've done the past year. We've had so many shows and we were worried that we wouldn't have enough to talk about, but every week I feel behind don't you Matt ?, well, I feel behind because I'm the one who has all the notebooks seriously, at least 200 pages of notes of all the things that we need to <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> discuss.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And sometimes, I go to race and politics and racial issues, things that really upset me, the way I get treated in society, the way I've seen my friends get treated in society. And so anyway, we ended up fighting , but we always come back together because that's what it's about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's about having uncomfortable conversations and still being able to listen to each other and understand each other and not continue the fight. Bring it around again </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:29]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and try and come to an understanding for sure. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> A lot of other podcasts put their shows up like, the the top shows from the past year.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I didn't want to do that because we promised you, we would be here every week and we're here to talk every week and that's what we're going to do. I do encourage you to go back and listen to some things because most of them are pretty timeless. We got into everything from martial arts to cooking, to talking about technology <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> to music.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember that's how we met Paul and Barry and Michael. And we've had so many amazing therapists on like KJ and Rachel. Rachel from France and it is just growing. Our, our little tiny circle has grown so much and we want to thank you all for listening. And I wish our little girls not so little, they're actually taller than I am now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">But I wish you guys would express what you think about the world. How do you imagine the world being. Can it be the utopia that we envision that we're trying to create? Or are you, have you become a hardened? I see you scowling L you don't think the world will end up more compassionate, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> honestly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">No, not </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">really.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not sure. I just feel that way for some reason. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:59]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's always <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> best to have a good reason why. I mean, you look at things like, um, what's her name? Gretta, Thornburg. Thunbergii Thornburg of Scandinavia. Who's trying to make the world a better place. She's still championing on. She's still campaigning. Yeah.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. But her face looks likeElle's face right now. Do you know what I mean? Elle's face looks like Gretta is right now and, and you're, you're, you're absolutely right. I mean, a lot of kids, a lot of, I shouldn't a lot of people your age. And me included, I don't believe in age, but I understand there is a lot that you're dealing with.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Look at the mess of a world that we are in. But the good thing is that we're talking about it and it's more, more, it seems more prevalent because it's not hidden anymore. We're talking about all the issues we're talking, we're seeing things more than we ever have before in history. People are </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:50]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> certainly, it feels like people are being a lot more honest.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">As far as their </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> feelings go, the feelings and also willing to stand up and say, this was <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> wrong. What Gretta is doing, not what Gretta is doing is saying, this is wrong. You need to stop this. You're hurting the environment. You're, you're hurting every living thing, but I understand Elle, it's, um, it's hard to be optimistic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">. I don't blame us for feeling the way we do right now. It's hard. There's a lot that you're dealing with. And it's much like the, some artists that we know. That sings sad songs, , it's not fake. It's for real. It's the emotion that's prevalent right now.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Things feel a certain way. And that's the difference between optimistic and pessimist optimistic and pessimistic. You know, when you are going through hard times and when things look seemingly horrible, an optimist will realize nothing lasts forever. Everything has a season, nothing lasts forever. So if things look really bad to you, you <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> can fix it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can change it, you will move through it and it will not stay the same. Nothing stays the same. A pessimist will just be in that moment and think that's it. This is all that there is and nothing else. I understand, I understand how you're feeling. But please know that nothing lasts forever and we will move through this.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:20]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It seems like the pessimists right now, they're like, oh yes, we're the honest ones. And the optimists are kind of foolish on some level are naive or a million other things ended up. But, but then it also seems like any event that takes us back into a normalcy kind of position, It's like, oh, well this is just back to normal.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's not like, this is a good thing. People are unwilling to say that, you know, good things that are happening. It's just like, oh, this should have happened last year. Or we're just getting back to normal. Well, normal is normal can be good for goodness sake. You know, we should, we should enjoy, we should appreciate, I guess, quote, unquote <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> normal instead of just being like, well, okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're kind of getting back to our baseline or whatever. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:07]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> I guess my voice has been sounding a bit quiet compared to everyone else's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I want to hear your voice. What do you have to say, babe?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Uh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> how do you feel about the future you want </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:24]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> to answer </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> honestly?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> No, no, honestly, I really don't. There's a 50, 50 chance. It could be like, you know, amazing. And you know, there's also a huge possibility that it will be horrible hell in a nutshell. Anyway, I should probably </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stop talking. I don't want </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:54]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you to stop things every week that you look forward to aren't there ?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> Lately. I've just been excited for <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> Halloween </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:01]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and there you go. That's something to be excited for, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> but it kind of loses its touch after like, you know, when you realize it it's going to happen like two months plus like a week. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:15]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, honestly, it'll probably be happening as we air this episode. No, we're going to have to air this one really quick.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, we're airing this episode, like lickety split this week. This is our, this is our anniversary week. This is our birthday week. And I just wanted to go back to what you were saying, Matt, about normal. I, I don't want to go back to norm. And there is no going back to normal because normal was the time when most people didn't listen to one another, as much as they're listening to one another.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Now normal is when we didn't care that there was this group over here that, you know, was less than a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> paycheck away from being homeless, you know, normal way. The fact that when we talked about, voter suppression, that it was just something thing unheard of. And now we realize, wow, look at all these levels where suppression has been existing and is continuing to progress.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I don't want to go back to normal. And what I want to say is that. Being optimistic doesn't mean I'm going to get rid of whatever is happening here. That I'm I'm, I'm just going to look ahead. It means I will breathe through what is happening and choose what we should create next, because yet it won't last forever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And. Focusing on what you would like to create in this moment. And this moment is actually the moment of the future. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> If that makes any sense, do you understand what I'm saying? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:03]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Totally. And to further kind of get through, go through it. It's it's about having things to look forward to. It's like, what am I looking forward to, you know, today, what am I looking forward to this week?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What am I looking forward to this month? What am I looking forward to this season? You know, and, and really taking the moment to experience to enjoy. We had some rain. We were, we live at we're in Colorado, 300 days of sun a year, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We had buckets full of rain the other day. And it was just like, everything kind of got cleaned and everything smelled different and everything cooled down and everything, everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, and, and wow. I really enjoyed that. And I, I had forgotten what it was like for us to have a, uh, you know, a thunderstorm, if you will, that, you know, fortunately no one gets hurt, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Cause we have those too, but it was just, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> wow. It was just such an enjoyable moment. And it's about recognizing them for what they are and yeah; not living inside of them, but living, , taking the moments to live inside the memories of these </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">and having ceremony within that. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So what I was talking about before, like before we met, I didn't really do celebrations and for my birthday and never had parties, but I would go by myself and look at the water, look the ocean, and take stock of everything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, I want to say it was when Elle was born and then Alegra was born that the ceremony of it was boosted to the infinite level. And it's not like we had a bunch of friends. I mean, most of it happened on Bainbridge island where this whole friendship thing, the. Totally formed for us because we realized, wow, people <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> really suck out there.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like nobody is like really willing to be friends. And the whole concept of friendship was not our idea of friendship. And so just taking the moment that you're in, I mean, things were bad for us on Bainbridge Island. They were, it was scary. And we had so little money and. It was horrible. At the same time we had Ellen Allegra and we would bake cakes and we would put together ingredients and make three meals a day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Out of the ingredients that we had, we made beautiful vegan cakes, we created art from almost nothing and decorated our homes wherever we went. I think a library wants to say something, speaking of, you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:53]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> making stuff. I remember when, when, uh, when Elle and I were like, you know, really little, well, not <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> really, really like.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We still lived in Colorado at this point. Basically we just, we go, we went outside after school to, you know, hang out and play and you know, like on like scooters. Yeah. And so, and so after that, we all the three of us, cause I don't think dad was ever home at that point. The three of us. We, we enjoyed some delicious, homemade sorbets out of like fruit and stuff out of our Vitamix.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We still have it somehow some way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Those, those are the things that make life ceremonial, you know, we're not going to do this huge, big, huge events like whoopee. It's our first year. We're very proud of this podcast and we have <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> so much more to talk about, but yeah, you're right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Alegra like we would take whatever fruit we had. We would freeze it. We would make sorbets and we would have a little. Party between the three of us until daddy got home. Or like when it was Valentine's day, we talked about this. Remember Matt about hosting and, um, remember girls like the, do you remember the very first time we did this, where we cut heart shapes?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It must have been hundreds of them hearts. We cut out with scissors from, with cardboard and pieces of paper and we hung them from the ceiling. So when daddy came, daddy's tall, right. When dad came home, when he. Enter into the apartment. He would be kissed by all these hearts on his forehead, but like things like that make life great.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And these are the things that we do together, that when we come together with our friends, This is, this is training. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> This is it's not training. That's not the right word, but this is, this is what we do for each other. This is ceremony. This is celebration. It's the every day guys it's the every day.</span></span></p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Remember when then we lived in Northern California and it would rain. And we would put our boots on and go out there. And you, you loved splashing in the puddles there they're nodding. Yes. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:32]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> I remember it believe it or not. I mean, it's a memories are very vague, but I can definitely remember.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Elle do you remember when Allegra was born? And we were trying to have her sleep, which by the way, Alegra stopped napping at nine months old, but Ele do you remember, we would go make tea with, we would like make a little tiny little dessert and you, and I would go underneath the dining room table and have a tea party <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> together.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Remember. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Nope. I do not remember that. Are you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> serious? You don't remember that. And then </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:05]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> some seriously, and then I got so jealous that I just stopped taking the naps. Cause you know, not wanting to miss out on stuff, not wanting to miss out on stuff. Stemmed from an early </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> age, it's called FOMO. W what are you trying to do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Tell them I have FOMO. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So now's the time I think we should think about what we want to do in the future. Now is the time every day I have never been one to have that new year's Eve. New year's resolutions. I don't like it. I don't, I, I think every day is a new year, so I don't want to make a huge fuss during new year's Eve.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you know, you all know, I don't like fireworks and I don't like big banging sounds and I don't like all the crazy drinking and Woodby. And then all of a sudden you're cursing the past year and say nuts to you. And <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> welcome this new one. And then the new one, you'll be cursing, December 31st. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's disrespectful so I want to say that every day is special and every day let's no matter what is going on. Let's take stock of how and why, and really the hows of how we got it. It's really amazing. All the little tiny points that came together and gently guided us to this very moment right now, introducing us to the people that we know right now, the people that walked hand in hand with us maybe, and then maybe they left for whatever reason they turned out to be not so good friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's all good. It's all good. So I want to say, I have a lot in stored. As far as the podcast goes for this year coming up, we're going to be publishing some books. We have some amazing, I don't, I don't know what to call them. Mat. Are they courses like amazing little <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> let's say lecture. I hate the word lecture.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Terrible. That's a terrible word. But like we, we definitely have some things coming up. Let's call it a fireside chat. And things that will bring us together. We are planning on going from country to country and creating a physical community, not just one that is over the airwaves, but bringing us together .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Elle, let's ask Elle a question. Okay. let's talk about, what do you think the most important concept of friendship is? Like when you think of friendship, what comes to your mind?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:36]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> So anyway, friendship stuff, please answer Elle.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:40]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Well, what first </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">comes to mind to me is a feeling of safety and happiness, a feeling of not being alone. You know, it's a nice, safe, comforting feeling to me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I love that. Allegra, how about you, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:58]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> uh, well, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's a certain thing about, you know, always being there for your BFF.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like if there's like a ton of drama or something going on in their life, the best you can do is just be there for them. That may not make sense, but I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're right. Being there without judgment. Right. I try to do that with you guys. I think the whole. Here I'll move the mic. I think being friends with someone, the way you treat family is how you will treat your friends and your friends.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The true friends those are your family. It's the family that you choose. So when you guys fight, I'm like, all right, it's good to fight because it's kind of like it. Remember when you got, yes, don't look at me like that Allegra, but when you guys fight, it reminds me of teeny tiny little, um, lion Cubs that fight in the Serengeti or something like they're fighting and they're actually <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> learning skills on communication and skills on how to hunt and skills on how to survive in the wilderness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So at a certain point, I realized, you know what, I'm not going to break you guys up every time you argue and at the same time, I can still see the love and the care, even in the midst of the fight.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Okay. Allegra is giving me some looks right now, it's important to know how to fight. And it's important to know how to treat each other and how to come back around. And the way you treat family, you get used to that, right? That's your training. That's like your, your muscles are working a certain way.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's exactly how you're going to be treating friends. So we need to treat each other well. I I come from a family I had to leave behind because they did not treat each other well. I had to get away from that. And my main goal is to have a clear circle of true love and respect, true seeing <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> and hearing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's such a big deal for me. And that's, that's what I want to talk about. That's what I that's my whole mission here . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:09]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Whereas for me it's a little different when I think about being a good host, for instance, because in my parents' house, it was. We went from this, to this, to this, this didn't matter. The occasion didn't matter the season didn't matter the guest list didn't matter, didn't matter, didn't matter. The only thing that really tweaked things was we had a pool in the backyard. And so whether or not we went swimming in the pool. But you know, for me being a good host is really looking at other people's comfort. And really trying to understand it and trying to figure out ways to make them feel comfortable when they're in your space, because it can be a very kind of uncomfortable existence for a minute.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And all of a sudden you're assaulted by strange smells and strange <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> people and strange a strange house. And, you know, you can feel very uncomfortable in that situation. And it's about recognizing that and making sure that people don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">feel uncomfort. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:12]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> One of the first conversations I had with you, Matt was when we first met, we were in Aikido.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you said it's important to be a good host in the world. Can you repeat what you said way back then? We'll, we'll, you've repeated a few times on the show on the podcast, but do it again. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:28]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's important to be you, you could host in the world, not around, um, it's it's about walking through, maintaining your sense of self, maintaining your physical presence, your spiritual presence and your mental presence, but , it's important to realize that people around you might need your help that, you're there, you're not isolated. It's not about "this person is here to serve me." It's not about, " I just need to get away from these people as quickly as <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> possible." It's about welcoming people, welcoming those experiences that come to you and being a good host, trying to make other people feel comfortable as well as helping to solve other people's problems, which is typically why people interact with one another out in the world, sadly, is because I'm having a problem or I need you to do this for me. So it's important to break through that and, you know, be a good host.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know. I don't know how else to say it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And, um, this reminds me also when Elle was a toddler. I want to talk about prejudice for a second I wanted to make sure that I displayed no prejudice at all. And I'm not talking about racial situations or anything like that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I wanted them to have an appreciation and compassion for all of life. And, and I knew all of life meant snakes and spiders and things like that. We had a house on Bainbridge, . We moved in. We fixed everything up. It was gorgeous. And it was <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> time to walk in the yard.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And I remember I was pregnant with Al and I was so nervous about being pregnant because I had never been pregnant before. And I'm like, what can I do? What can I not do? Like, you know, hear all this stuff. Like you're not supposed to eat sushi. You're not, which is fine because we're vegan. But, but like all these things, no hot tubs, whatever, like all these no-nos.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I'm like, oh my God, can I jump all of a sudden, like you can't do a lot of yoga poses. You know, yoga is pretty much a no-no different stages of pregnancy as I was nervous. So, but here I was, I was walking into the yard and all of a sudden a snake crossed my path and I seriously do not remember touching the ground.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think I somehow flew from where I was. Maybe touch the ground once or twice, specially ran, flew back in <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> the house and I said, we've got to move. There's a snake out there. And so for the amount of years that we lived in that house, every time I walked. Exactly that same spot. I assume the snake would be crossing the path again, but like, I know that Allegra wants to say something like, don't lose your thought, please hold it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But what I was going to say was because I was so scared of spiders and snakes, I didn't want to translate that onto our Elle and Alegra. And so what happened was. I try to not say anything. And I remember this is going back to being a good host by the way. But I remember feeling so happy when Elle spotted a big spider in the house and Donna, and I think my eyes were really big, but she wasn't looking at me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She was looking at the spider. Thank God. She was not looking at me because I probably looked horrified like, oh my God, I remember L looked at the spider and got close to it <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> and was almost about to caress it. And I remember she made a sound like, "AAAAAHHHHHH....BABY!" , that. I was like, oh my God, that is so sweet. Now let's get rid of the spider, no escorted out escorted out, but that's being a good house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know? Like when she was still two and a half, we would go to the playground and she would introduce herself to everyone. Like it was her home. Right, right. Allegra. I'm sorry, honey. You go ahead. What were you going to say? Oh, sorry. I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:33]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> was just, I was just about to say, speaking of snakes, I remember that one time we were going home from, from, I think it was the market.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We were going to buy some stuff like, like that delicious caramelized onion bread. I still wonder how we're living without it was so good. Hmm. Anyway, so basically we're heading back. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> Right. And then, and then suddenly L started red L started running past and jumped. At some point I ran, I ran and followed her and, and mom's Emily.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I heard mom scream. I don't know. This was a while back. Okay. Like a very long time ago. Like I was probably seven back then or something. And so then what happened next was. My mom started screaming Elle and I looked back and then this, and then the snake was all like, "hello friends". Well, it wasn't, it didn't actually say anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It was just slithering around. And I was just like, wait, what? And I was like,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, like she was like, she was so freaked out. Mom started screaming. So, so L decided to make the decision to run towards mom over, jump over the snake as <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> second time to get to mom. And I just ran up the stairs realizing, and I'm when I was up the stairs. I realized, first of all, Hey. I'm way smarter than I am.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm way smarter. I'm smarter than my older sister in this one predicament and also weights. I got so lucky. I didn't step on that snake, even though I didn't even realize it was there and I was running what I am still thankful to this day that I didn't step on that poor little snake. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think Elle was expressing compassion for me because I was left behind with the snake.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So Elle came to my, to my defense, I think. Thank you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> You're welcome.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:51]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> And also I remember a time when I was little where I forgot what I was going to say. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> Do you ever just forget what you're about to say? And you're just like so upset with yourself and then you never remember it ever again. Or you remember then are you remembering the shower later?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then you have. And you start talking to yourself as me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Does that happen to you too? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> Yeah, just like sometimes after an argument, I come up with the perfect co come backs and so and so suddenly. And so suddenly I decided to like continue on with the argument in the shower alone or sitting on the toilet.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:30]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes you will come up with the right argument, but, but to go back now to, oh my God, don't tell people worms and whatever, you know, it's about in hindsight, to be honest, when I was in elementary school, there was a girl, her name was Patricia Chen and she would pick up bees. I thought she was crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I remember her name. Why? Because that was the flipping most bad-ass coolest thing that I had <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> ever seen that I had seen particularly, you know, owing to the fact that, you know, we were like 10 at the time complete and utter bad-ass.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:08]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So let's talk about what we're going to create next. I want to create a larger family, Calm down, man. I'm talking about the family that we create a family of friends, I want to really take our message out there on the road. What do you think. Go from bold coffee, shop to coffee, shop country, to country, talk about the art of friendship from culture to culture.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">what else you guys will continue on with your education. Hopefully the world will be in a better place. People will be healthier. Maybe we can stop the nonsense of, war maybe we can, maybe we can clean up around here. No. Talking about our home. All these cars, corporations need to clean up the messes that they've made, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> that they're continually making . </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:01]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, and practicing the art of kindness, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> compassion.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">I want Elle to speak her wisdom.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You're on the Spock baby. Go ahead. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> It's kind of, I can't play or though it's very hard to be on the spot. It is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Well, personally, what I think about the state of the world is like mom said before that basically, so all of the problems are always swept under the rug and lately the rug has been cut.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">They've been, people have been cleaning the rug and then the stuff has been flying back out into the air. So, and we need to clean that up too. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think we were forced to clean the rug weren't we? Yes, we really were like the pants. Is, are you talking about the pandemic? Yes. And other </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> things like racial equality, gender equality, that kind of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stuff passionate about that.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You were very passionate about making sure that <span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> everyone is treated equally. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Yes, I am. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you know where that comes from? No, I don't. I guess so. Yeah. And so what, what do you want to be doing in the next 12 months? 12 months. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> That's a good question. A lot of things have already changed. I'm not sure what's going to happen next.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Do you, do you guys realize the rate of change for you is so much faster now that like, let's say the change in me. Like look at how much you grow every single day. I swear when you wake up in the morning or taller than the night before. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:44]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, actually they are because when you sleep, it's like gravity, which compresses your spine every day gets a chance.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Your spine gets a chance to stretch back </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> out. I'm not talking to my compression. I literally have to stand on a step stool to measure Elle's <span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> height. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah, you got to stand on a step. So give me a kiss too, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's true. And it's almost there with Allegra too. My goodness.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Oh Lord.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:14]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's 12 months for Al I think she's going to be, um, studying some, some really challenging subjects. She's going to start getting in into an areas where she feels more challenged and more passionate about.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's one of the things we love about homeschooling as we've been able to really Excel, like really move forward a lot. So you're away. She's actually like she gets it. I mean, my goodness. All right. You've done so much. Both of you. I'm so proud of you in the past year. Alegra that cover arts. She did the art for.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cover of a music album, not bad kid. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:00]</span> You, you both had, I guess it was over a year ago, but at the art walk in town, you guys had the only art booth and you sold a lot. You guys meet some beautiful art. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:15]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> I remember me and my sister, my sister Al used to come used to compete, like who could sell the most, of course, I tried my best to make my products like significantly, significantly better than hers in, in every shoe shape, shape, and form.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that, and I also lowered the price, the like half from half of what L's prices were. Well, they were still pretty expensive. They sold better. And I won almost every single time. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I don't understand where this competition comes from, honestly, because I saw, oh my God, apparently. So, I mean, I don't like to compete.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't like it. You don't </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:02]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> flip the board. That's what </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I get angry at. You guys know? I don't even play games. I can't, I have to sit on the side and sit on my hands. Right. Daddy calls me Chewbacca because I get angry. If I lose, I don't like competition competition. before we go. Can you tell me what you want to do?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Alegra on the next 12 months, what do you want to create? Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:27]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> well, I'm hoping to like, you know, possibly make a YouTube channel that has like a ton of subscribers or something. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Maybe you get smarter.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:37]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> is: </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:38]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> Learn alot</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:38]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And wait a second. Wait a second. Don't you have a don't you have a passion for bakinglittle one?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:46]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">guess I do like baking a </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">lot. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:49]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So it might, it might behoove you to, you know, take it up, get another notch because I mean, you're already fairly decent baker, certainly for your age, but that's entirely </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> beside the point <span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:00]</span> for any age, she's a decent baker.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Exactly. And a vegan one, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:07]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you could make caramelized onion bread. Oh, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:11]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> I like something that might be out of my league for now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:14]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, it's totally possible. We just haven't had time </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:19]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> maybe. So at some point we could make like chocolate chip cookies or something and like, you know, do what we used to do and like add little bits of marshmallow in it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:30]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And we're talking from scratch. We're not talking about cutting open it in a tube.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Hmm. Well, I hope to move forward with my academics, like move forward with learning science. I'm really passionate when it comes to science.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And any thoughts, any thoughts on how people can have </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">better friendships, from your perspective, what we can do in the world to make it more compassionate </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:59]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> from your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:00]</span> perspective? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Maybe if we listen to one another, that would do some good </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:06]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> and possibly, you know, First of all, it'd be, it'd be amazing if racism, you know, kind of ended at some point, hopefully, but hopefully like at some point extroverts will understand the introvert side of the story.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so they'll actually, you know, not feel like the introvert is not there because honestly we introverts or, you know, nobody even knows where they are most of the time. Especially at parties. I heard </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> cause </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:43]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> I, cause the last party I ever went to was with my family in 2019, I did exactly what normal introvert would do.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Hanging out in the corner. And since I didn't have, since I didn't have anything to keep me entertained, just sat there <span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:00]</span> and thought about life. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Hold on. We have plenty to keep us entertained. That was the Halloween party. Wasn't it. There, there are chalky pretzels. I mean, do you remember all. In his costume.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm a, we're still talking about his little costume, little, little vain. Come on. That was very entertaining. Right? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:21]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> I couldn't. I just think about that the entire time. Um,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> anyways, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I tried not to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:32]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyway. I think that's actually interesting advice from you. Alegra I mean, certainly, you know, taking out what else said and building on it, you know, listen more. Yes. Pay attention, you know, everybody, it's my belief. Everybody has at least one really cool story to tell. And so fi figuring out what that is, is almost like doing a treasure hunt when you meet somebody for the first time.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And I think we have to get used to doing that. We have to get used to having the parties. Again, we have to get used to entertaining one another again, but like even with a podcast, we had to get used to the podcast. Daddy and I used to fight because he would say I would talk too much. And he, you know, he wouldn't, he couldn't get a word in.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm like, well, that's your problem, buddy? You know what you want the woman to not speak? It's not my fault. I can </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:24]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> wait. I'm kidding.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> As I take the mic. Um, I forgot what I was going to say, but like, we have to get used to it. I remember, uh, last year we tried to do a podcast episode, all of us together. Do you remember with, but we use the boom mic. We didn't use this setup. The shotgun. Yeah. Thank you. Al the shotgun, Mike. Um, by the way, Alan Alegra has been through this whole process with the friendship as they've been behind the scenes work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Everything we <span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:00]</span> do, but do you guys remember, we did that episode on, we were baking something and it was, uh, it had incorporated friendship, but it had to do with, we were baking something. We could sweet tortillas, I think. Oh yeah, we were doing the sweet tortillas, but what happened? We weren't used to doing that together and we all ended up fighting.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then we left the mix and everything. And for 30 minutes I was listening to it a few months ago. It was just us fighting in the other room and we forgot to turn off the mix. It was </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:34]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> right. Oh my God. But we, but you see, we just have to get used to things because yeah. Things will go wrong. The cake will fall apart.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, the tortillas will not turn out. Right. Someone's feelings will get hurt, but if you do it more and more often, You kind of roll with the punches? I shouldn't say that because there were punches rolled at our wedding, but you kind of roll with it. It's kind of like surfing. You just <span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:00]</span> go, there's another wave and another wave.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And you, you fall off the board, you get back on and you enjoy the ride eventually. Right? You have to get used to dancing in a way. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:13]</span> <span style="color:#00d1b2;"><strong>Allegra:</strong></span> Also I'd like to add something to what I said earlier. Do you ever, this is an introvert kind of thing, by the way, you ever just like, you know, help people out with stuff. And since they don't really pay much attention to you, they don't realize that you're actually doing quite a bit.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so they're all. And, and so they congratulate your, your older sister on, wow, you did so much. And they're just using in the background and they're like, oh, I agree. You should know about, you should help out more. Now this is probably going to get edited out. Says to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:45]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> get off my chest. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. We have to get used to, we </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:51]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> have to pay attention.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Yeah. We have to, and then we have to be aware of what's happening </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> around us and we have to do what you just did express our <span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:00]</span> emotions. Right. And Al you're quiet. You're quiet a lot, but that's actually quiet more often.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But yeah, you're right. We have to acknowledge each other and give space to one another. Even if that space, that space may seem uncomfortable, it's going to be </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I see you baby. And I think you are, I know you're brilliant and you are just as amazing. You are amazing on infinite levels, both of you are in completely different ways.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And sometimes one of the other things is that we can't take things personally because sometimes when we're upset, we don't hear properly. Like I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:00]</span> always talk about how dad and I fight. I don't hear him apologizing, man. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:04]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's rough too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's going to be okay. It's part of the dance people's feelings get hurt. You feel unheard. And sometimes you don't realize the person is actually hearing you and acknowledging you. But when, when you're in the thick of it, you feel so shut out. I totally get it. Elle. Is there something you can add to that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Elle:</strong></span> Please.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. Well, I had intended for you all the past year to be part of some of the episodes, but this is the only one, one year later, and it's still, it's a little bit hard trying to have everyone <span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:00]</span> speak. Should we wrap it up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">okay, we're going to wrap it up, but mainly we're doing the show to say thank you. Thank you. Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:09]</span> <span style="color:#9166ff;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Thank you. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Thank you to all of our friends. Thank you for the listening that you're doing. Thank you for taking part. Thank you for the comments that you send our way. I mean, there are some superstars out there that listened to every single episode.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And for a while, we were doing three episodes a week and that was, that was harsh. And they were like, okay, I'm trying to catch up because everyone, everyone has, their schedules are so packed and it's, it's hard, but thank you so much. We just want to say thank you. And, and, and, um, this has been such a beautiful journey and it's going to get even better.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Everything's going to be okay guys. It is. All right, we'll talk to you soon. Take care. Everyone. Take care. Goodbye. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:00]</span> See you later.</span></span></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/I-year-Birthday-of-our-Podcast-joined-by-Elle-and-Allegra.m4a" length="60277822"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We are celebrating one year of talking about the art of friendship around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on the very first show "The Mentor" that explains this whole podcast; that our girls would be in on the episodes. They have been working behind the scenes and the past year have become introverts (can you blame them, with all that's happened in the world the past 2 years?
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
Birthday episode - TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Here we are everyone. Hello? Hello. Hi everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. We are celebrating one year of talking about goodness, one year of talking on the air around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on my very first show. I say my, because that shows just me talking our very first episode called the mentor that explains this whole podcast. That's what I meant by my show, but I had promised that it would be the family and the girls would be in on the episodes. And what turned out was they were behind the scenes. They didn't want to talk. They became quite antisocial is not the word for it, but they what's a, what's a, what's the word for it?
Introvert. Yeah, but everybody here they are Martine. I promised here they are. Martina has been wanting to hear you guys. So here we are everybody. I'd like to [00:01:00] introduce you all to our lovely littles little ladies. We haveElle: 
[00:01:06] Elle: hello 
[00:01:08] Fawn: and Alegra: 
[00:01:10] Allegra: Whats up? 
[00:01:11] Fawn: Fabulous. Oh my God. You guys come on. We need to speak. You guys have been very quiet.
We've all been very still this , past year. Quite still. We've been very centered. And yet at the same time, we've been making friends from around the world. We've met so many of our family members, family, as in the family that we create a family circle of friends from around the world.
There's a list now, that we can truly call family members. I thought we would start the show off today by getting in the word celebration. Are you ready? I wanted to talk about ceremony, but it just seemed so serious. I like the word celebration better and what it is, it's just gathering, it speaks of honoring [00:02:00] of a day or season by appropriate festivities. That celebration. And I want to say, I started to truly celebrate when you and I got together, Matt!. I mean, I would celebrate my birthday, but I wouldn't have parties ever. I would always have my alone spot. It was usually at the channel islands near Santa Barbara....]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:49:48</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Favor]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Sep 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-favor-1</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-favor-1</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This episode came about as we had a guest that was so hateful and wrongly accused Matt of "manipulation" because he likes to present people with favors. Wanting to clear things up from that conversation, Fawn wanted to make sure Matt explained (before he was so rudely cut off), </span></span><span style="font-size:large;">one of the many ways</span><span style="font-size:large;"> to really connect with people. </span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This one act is something that you can do, to kindly, respectfully, and compassionately relate to people. And it's a simple thing; one that is really important for everyone to know about. This is also to correct a wrong that was done to Matt (referring to a rude guest we had).</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're talking about a favor.  Do you know what "favor" actually means? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"> the etymology, the origin, the Latin which is spelled FAVERE.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The etymology, the background, the root of favor originally means: show kindness. Isn't that beautiful?</span></span></p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Favor - TRANSCRIPT </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Doin' a favor? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What'd you say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> doing a favor? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is another followup show. I feel like too, um, a conversation that we had that I feel like I need to fix, , sometimes you talk to people and it really messes you up, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> indeed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, I mean, I mean, my God, so there's something that I've been.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wanting to clear up from another conversation, you were trying to say something and I knew what you were about to say, but you were so abruptly cut off and disrespected. And this time it wasn't me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> People find the need to, put themselves too much in the conversations and try and cut things short </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and yet complain that they didn't get a chance to talk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span></span></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode came about as we had a guest that was so hateful and wrongly accused Matt of "manipulation" because he likes to present people with favors. Wanting to clear things up from that conversation, Fawn wanted to make sure Matt explained (before he was so rudely cut off), one of the many ways to really connect with people.  
This one act is something that you can do, to kindly, respectfully, and compassionately relate to people. And it's a simple thing; one that is really important for everyone to know about. This is also to correct a wrong that was done to Matt (referring to a rude guest we had).
We're talking about a favor.  Do you know what "favor" actually means? 
 the etymology, the origin, the Latin which is spelled FAVERE.
 
The etymology, the background, the root of favor originally means: show kindness. Isn't that beautiful?
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
The Favor - TRANSCRIPT 
[00:00:00] Matt: Doin' a favor? 
[00:00:01] Fawn: What'd you say 
[00:00:04] Matt: doing a favor? 
[00:00:06] Fawn: This is another followup show. I feel like too, um, a conversation that we had that I feel like I need to fix, , sometimes you talk to people and it really messes you up, 
[00:00:19] Matt: indeed.
[00:00:20] Fawn: I mean, I mean, I mean, my God, so there's something that I've been.
Wanting to clear up from another conversation, you were trying to say something and I knew what you were about to say, but you were so abruptly cut off and disrespected. And this time it wasn't me. 
[00:00:42] Matt: People find the need to, put themselves too much in the conversations and try and cut things short 
[00:00:47] Fawn: and yet complain that they didn't get a chance to talk.
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                </itunes:subtitle>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Favor]]>
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                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This episode came about as we had a guest that was so hateful and wrongly accused Matt of "manipulation" because he likes to present people with favors. Wanting to clear things up from that conversation, Fawn wanted to make sure Matt explained (before he was so rudely cut off), </span></span><span style="font-size:large;">one of the many ways</span><span style="font-size:large;"> to really connect with people. </span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">This one act is something that you can do, to kindly, respectfully, and compassionately relate to people. And it's a simple thing; one that is really important for everyone to know about. This is also to correct a wrong that was done to Matt (referring to a rude guest we had).</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We're talking about a favor.  Do you know what "favor" actually means? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"> the etymology, the origin, the Latin which is spelled FAVERE.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">The etymology, the background, the root of favor originally means: show kindness. Isn't that beautiful?</span></span></p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>The Favor - TRANSCRIPT </strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Doin' a favor? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:01]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> What'd you say </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> doing a favor? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is another followup show. I feel like too, um, a conversation that we had that I feel like I need to fix, , sometimes you talk to people and it really messes you up, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> indeed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, I mean, I mean, my God, so there's something that I've been.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Wanting to clear up from another conversation, you were trying to say something and I knew what you were about to say, but you were so abruptly cut off and disrespected. And this time it wasn't me. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> People find the need to, put themselves too much in the conversations and try and cut things short </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and yet complain that they didn't get a chance to talk.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But you were trying to explain something. It's a way; it's one of the many ways <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> that you have figured out to really connect with people, Matt. And I think it's really sweet and you started to explain it and this person completely mid sentence cut you off and told you that you're being manipulative.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yep.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It, it was such a weird conversation. So I want to do a show today on this, this one act one of the many acts that you do to kindly respectfully compassionately relate to people. And it's a simple thing, and I think it's really important for everyone to, to know about this and also correct or wrong that was done to you. ( referring to a rude guest we had)..</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So today we're talking about a favor. I looked it up. Do you know what a favor actually means that the background of where a favor came in?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's got a walk </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">around favorite, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, I mean, yes, down the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> line, but the etymology, , the origin is the Latin one, which is spelled F a V E R E.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And guess what it means,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> ice cream. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The etymology, the background, the root of favor originally means: show kindness. Isn't that beautiful? There's something that you do that is really sweet. And someone didn't hear you out right away. And started to say that is the most manipulate manip. I can't even say the word.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">How do you say it? Manipulative thing to do; it is so wrong. And this person was just so adamant about whatever their point of view was. Can you please explain. To all of our friends out there. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Hello everyone. By the way. So Matt, take it over. I mean, don't take it off.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm not going to let you take it over, but you know what I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> mean? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, we were talking about when you initially meet someone and it was much more of a. In my, in my head, it was much more of a quote unquote professional kind of a scenario where maybe you're at a, get together for, technologists in my world, you know, like a meet-up , and then you, and you meet, you meet someone randomly didn't you </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> originally got this idea from another technologist.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I did. You did great. It was a guy Kawasaki </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> guy, Kawasaki. I didn't want to necessarily call him out, but yes, I don't know. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> We love the guy, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> cause I got smacked on it, but anyways, so you're in a smacked </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> on it, but he's <span style="color:#b2b2b2;">(meaning the rude guest)</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">wrong. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:36]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You're in a scenario, you're meeting with a bunch of like-minded individuals and let's say a professional kind of gathering organization and you exchange business cards and you have a brief little, one of those brief, little polite chats that you have, in the midst of this meeting where you're going between learning about this thing and then taking a small break, learning about that thing, then there's a raffle, then everybody leaves. That's how it, a tech thing <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> tends to go. So you have a brief conversation and you want to, you want to get to know this person better. Well, how the heck do you do that? What is, how do you get in there, as it were.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And there's obviously there's plenty of options. You </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> rephrase that. How do you get in there? That's just so wrong. I know it sounds, it sounds like a very outdated, like date, uh, thing for a man to say it's just feels wrong. But I think what you're saying is how do you connect? How do you create </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:32]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> a bond? How do you, how do you even start connecting?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Because you basically, you can take, you can take the easy way out and you can. Um, put the card in your drawer and look at it again in three months and then throw it away. You can do that. And that is certainly something that is, is a possibility you can also, I don't know, maybe email the person with, Hey, it was great.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I really enjoyed meeting you the other day and blah, blah, blah, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> and call it there. And you know, that that has potential to work. But what Guy Kawasaki said is if you follow up via like an email or a text and you have an ask, you ask them for something, something small, something, maybe insignificant something, they can help you with something that would be easy for them .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Greater likelihood that A, they'll respond, B they'll respond well. And C, at some point, they'll seek a favor from you as well. You begin that you're, you're beginning a dialogue you're beginning of true dialogue, instead of you just kind of monologuing and hoping that they'll monologue.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, that's so basic and so profound</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">because we're here for each other. We're here to support one another. We need each other. And I think that we've all become, so it's been, we've become so independent. We've become, well, what I'm trying to say is it's been ingrained in us <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> to be so, autonomous and do everything yourself. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Don't accept any help do it on your own. Do not accept charity, like, like it goes to the length of charity and that being a really bad thing, a shameful thing that even the slightest favor, if you were like, it's just interesting how this guy, totally, this person totally reacted in such a negative way before you even had a chance to explain your theory of favor.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Doing someone a favor, a solid, right. A teeny tiny one. He had such a bad reaction to that. And if I look at this person who said that they actually seem very, um, antisocial is the wrong word for it. Cause it's like a clinical term, but it's very, uh, it's not it's unfriendly. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, it's very closed. It's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> thank you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I would say, oh my God, thank you <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> so closed. And really we need each other and we forgot. How to party together. We forgot how to entertain. We forgot all the little tiny nuances that create community that create a bond and why, because for some reason, Once again, I'll say it again. It's been ingrained in us to not connect it's in the park, benches, even it's in it's in every aspect of society.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When I look around, if you take a look at park benches, they're not there for people to sit and enjoy each other's company and to just sit and be it's like a Memorial to a dead person. It's sad. And I've always said this. God forbid, a person who is without a home is sitting on that bench. The police will come and remove them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So it's not really intended for humanity to rest and to partake in the sitting and enjoying and <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> resting on this, on this, on this thing, this bench. So how are we going to handle the whole concept doing someone a favor and having someone do you a favor it's like the it's become this negative thing where you're indebted to someone.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? And there are examples everywhere. Like if you look at that show, "Big Bang Theory", Sheldon Cooper's character gets so upset if anyone gives him a present. Why? Because he feels like he has to immediately return the exact quantity of what was given and he hates that, uh, lording over him.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So he has to immediately pay the person back. And, and it's not about manipulation. It's not about having a leg up on someone. It's about connecting and helping. Correct? Absolutely. And what you've always <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> told me about this favor thing is it's something so tiny that doesn't require the person getting out of the routine or they're not going on in their way to do something. It's something that is so easy for them. And they can say no, but it's something it's an ask. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Correct, exactly. Case in point. Um, I, I worked in an office, a bunch of consultancies and whatever, and we had another business actually move into our space and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I went and I talked to the guy and he was a, he was a really nice guy. And you know what, when you talk to somebody and you ask them about their business, oh my God. Especially if he, this guy was a CEO and he was fairly new to it and all the rest of it, I wouldn't say he was naive or whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">He'd been serial entrepreneur, but he was excited to talk about his business. And I asked him some interesting questions about it. And then. Now we were kind of in that situation where we're kind of enforced to be next to each other, almost like in school, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> because we're in the office every day, but we did, we did lunch and learns and I asked him if he'd do a lunch and learn, now, that's an interesting ask because now all of a sudden I'm asking for an hour of his time, but.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's him educating it's him talking through his problems and it's him, you know? So I wouldn't say that was a tiny ask, but he was all for it. He was like, absolutely. It's figured out let's schedule. Let's get it done. Boom. We have potential now to deepen our relationship. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Exactly. And that's just one example in business, but think about it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like I I'm thinking about all the times that I've asked for a little favors, like maybe now this is a woman thing, but like my God, the tiny little favors I have asked, well, for me are big. But like, for them, they're an expert in something <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> like, I remember when a friend got a sewing machine and she made all these beautiful projects.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. And I'm like, okay, I have always been interested in fashion and putting things together. And I never imagined I would have my own sewing machine. And you remember a few years ago, I got a teeny tiny, portable sewing machine for like $30. And the simplest thing, I didn't know how to do. I didn't know how to thread the needle right in the sewing machine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so I asked a neighbor friend, can you show me how to thread a needle? And she got very defensive and shot me down immediately, which is fine, but she told me to Google it and you know what, I, I could have Googled it, but I wanted the interaction with her because I really loved hanging out with her.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">She was so inspiring and she was right there. She was at <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> our home, Google it. Um, I dunno. I feel like when I ask stuff, I always get that response. Just Google it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, we deferred to this concept of a global experts in life and there's liabilities and there's, and it's all gotten like ferociously, I think kind of messed up because, you know, at what point did it become.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, I can't show you how I do it because how I do it might be wrong. I don't know. I don't know what goes through the heads of people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I think it's that. I think that people, it's kind of like a hoarding, you know, you, you do your thing and you don't want to share it with anyone else because maybe they'll they'll have something over you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like there'll be better than you or you're taking something away. I dunno. I dunno. I wonder if that's a thing happening with some women is they really don't want to help out other women. Now having said that I <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> have some amazing women and friends where we support each other so immensely, like fiercely even, but in a very good way, not in a, like a violent, fierce way, but fierce, you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like we're here to help each other because we're of the same mindset that we belong together that we need each other. Do you know what I mean? That them helping me is me helping them. It's just a continuous circle. But, um, yeah, I D I don't know. I don't know what this whole issue is, and I don't think this person cutting you off is even aware of it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you think he's aware of how closed he is and how. I mean, he just wanted to shut you down and like tell you how wrong it is. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:53]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There is quid pro quo thing. I think that happens though as well with favors. And I think maybe he got caught on the bad <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> side of that, where somebody had come to him for a favor and he had done it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then they'd ask him for another favor and another favor and another favorite and another favor until he finally cut them off. There has to be a sense of </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">balance. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He was specifically saying that if you're using a favor to get to know someone you're incredibly manipulative, right. That's what he was saying. I know.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> possible that he was incredibly manipulated. That's </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> all, we're always trying to understand where someone's coming from, but what I'm trying to correct here is that's not what you were saying. Right. So I'm like, let's just talk about. Just you and I let's talk </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:37]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> about it. And again, you know, we, we have a choice.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You can move from love or move from fear. If you move from love, asking for a favor is not a manipulative I'm going to, or </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:52]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm lesser than you. I'm not lesser than you if I'm asking you for something, or if I'm asking you how to do something, can you <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> teach me this? I'm not lesser than you. I mean, it goes back to the old school yard, old, like, I don't know, what do you call it?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I forget what it's called. That one little kids are toddlers are in school. It's that daycare kind of mentality, like just honestly. And so innocently asking someone something, it has nothing to do with motives that are vicious. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> As a society we've moved away from the whole let's play mentality and into something a heck of a lot too serious.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So can you give other examples of little favors? We can ask someone I'm thinking like what, because come to think of it. I. To be honest with myself right now. I think I've <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> fallen into that line where I don't ask anyone for anything. I mean, especially after the whole, the needle and the sewing machine thing, that was the last straw for me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I remember back in the day, um, I would get calls from Steve. And he would ask for directions. And I would be like online looking at the directions for where he was and where he needed to go. I was like his, I was like as a little personal Siri. Oh, and this was obviously, this was a while ago, but </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> yeah, I remember you would do that for me too.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">When I would go on photo shoots in Seattle and some areas, I didn't know, like anything and I would call you. I'm like, man, I'm lost help. I don't know how to get here. And you would have me look around and tell you where I was and then you would give me what I call like. Simple directions. Like don't tell me north or south.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I have no idea where north is. Please. Like if I'm facing <span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span> it, do I turn right or left? Right. But yeah. I mean, come on. Let's see other favors. I don't know. Just, it's just all about opening yourself up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'll ask for recommendations on music from people. I will give recommendations on music for people, which is of course a scary thing for me, because my musical taste is very weird and eclectic, but everybody who likes rock and roll likes VOLBEAT if VOLBEAT, they're a Danish band.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Oh my goodness. They're good. But anyways, but it's me paying attention. It's me, you know, really seeing, you know, I try and see what I can do for them and what. I, I mostly, I see what they, what I can do for them. And that generally leads me to when I'm in a place where I need something, then I got a decent sense of directions I can go.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, and people I can ask. And because honestly I'd <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> much rather ask a person when I'm encountering like a technical difficulty than, uh, read a boring webpage or sift through 87 people who are having the exact same problem. And nobody has it. I mean, that's what I encounter. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's about connection. And it's about connecting to someone on a human level.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:18]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I want to hear your voice and it's, to me it's honoring that person. It's seeing something in them and honoring them, whether it's their expertise or it could be any aspect of them as a human being honoring that, recognizing that and honoring that. And. Saying in a way showing them that you see them.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:46]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Absolutely. Absolutely. And again, I have an example. Thank God. So we have, um, so Mike, the company, I work at a lot of developers around Atlanta. Uh, some developers scattered through the states and we <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> have an interesting lease sized presence in Lithuania. Anyways, I have never in my life been to Lithuania.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I've never in my life, you know, dot, dot, dot, but I'm fearless when it comes to communicating with people. So there was a team in Lithuania we got a project from that we needed to do stuff to. So I ran into a problem. I immediately reached out. I reached out to two different people. One of them got back to me very, very quickly.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So this, this is Lena. This is the person who immediately became my favorite. I ping pong. Every time I communicate with her, it was like, I'm having a problem. Can you help? I mean, it was pretty lamentable right. But she was so helpful, so concise, so brilliant. I was like, I have to pay her back. And so I paid her back by letting her boss know she had done me, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> solids, nothing but solids super professional, super helpful, super everything. And guess what, you know, went right back to her. And so she got to hear it too, because she knew she was a rock star. She was totally helping me out. But you know, the fact that I had spent the time to figure out what I could do, who I should talk to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cause I didn't know who her boss was. So I had figured out who her boss was and get in touch with him and. That. And she knows that I value what she's done for me. Absolutely. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And it's about showing vulnerability once again. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:34]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And that's the scariest part, especially for developers, but yeah, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> absolutely. It's a scary part as a human being, especially since we've all now been trained to not be that way to have all these walls up to be so, on our own, doing everything on our own to, to also. Always appear, whether it's in business or in real life, not real life business is real life too. But what I'm saying is, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> you know, in reality, I don't know what, however you guys know what I'm talking about, but to show your true self and without fear of looking weak in any way, but the only way you can ever, ever have a connection is by opening up your heart and opening up your world, your life, your experiences, it's the only way to really connect. I think it's been an issue and it's more and more of an issue now, especially now with in particular, the United States having becomes so incredibly divided that it's very scary to show any part of yourself that you're trying to keep guarded for whatever reason, it could be someone finding out your political belief. It could be someone finding out <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> your financial situation or whatever it is it could be of detriment is how we're feeling. And so to open yourself up to a favor, a kindness, a gesture like that is really opening up a whole world of who you really are. And , it's scary. Why, okay. Why are you looking at me like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that? I'm just listening. No, I have my own take on everything and I want to take us far away from politics. I want to take us back to Lulu to high school. It's very high.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's very high school to be like, I don't need anybody. I'm, you know, I'm an kingdom unto myself. I'm, you know, I'm too cool for school. I'm the whole trip. And that was my whole trip in high school. I'm sorry. The early part of my high school was, yeah. I don't need anybody. And you're seeing there with teachers teaching you stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Right? Right. It goes beyond high school. That's your parents right there. That is a Republican thing. Right? <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> My, well, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hold on. I don't want to politicize it, but, um, cause I don't know. Cause that's just how I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:05]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> grew up, how you grew </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> up, but that's how we were raised that. You know how I grew up. I can't say as atypical anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's just how I grew up </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and see, I kind of have the same feeling. Please go back to what you were saying. But I also got that, but I had come from a very democratic family, an immigrant family, but learn the same thing. Don't depend on anyone else. You're here to do it all. Well, the </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:29]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> key is, is don't depend on anyone else.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I, I absolutely agree with that statement, but I don't, you can't get there alone. So finding the people you can count on is important, but don't expect to count </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">on anybody.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The messages that I received, the main one was you cannot turn to anyone else. No one else will help you because they hate you is what I got.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">On on every level, because you're different, you look different, you, you, you cook different, your home smells different, whatever, like all the hate that's thrown at you. It's like, wow, that definitely doesn't give way to kindness to opening yourself up or to doing a favor. And it's usually. Me as an immigrant doing someone a favor because that's, what's expected of me because you know, that's, what's seen that's the stereotypical thing is I'm here to serve you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's no longer a favor. It's, it's an entitled thing for someone else for me to be there and we've seen it work. We've seen it a play wherever we've traveled to, you know, we'd go to, uh, into a coffee shop and you're the first person to touch the door to open the door, to go inside the coffee shop or wherever you're going and the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> person behind you will go in front of you, assuming that you were meant to open the door for them without a look in your face to say, thank you. Nothing, just ignoring you. Like, wow. I'm an invisible force meant to make life easier for you. I'm doing you all these favors.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Where you're attributing that to a systematic racism, classism.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'm attributing that to high school and maybe I'm very wrong on this point. I don't know. I have a hard time living in a racist world, so I try hard. I try as hard as I can not to. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> That's because you never had to deal with it. That's that's the conversation that is so uncomfortable for people who are you from, from the person from the Caucasian perspective, because it is, it's the same story.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">See you it's so ingrained that for you is just normal life. But I had to look at it and go, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> why is this so uncomfortable for me? Why am I feeling so sad about this? And I. You know, it, it it's. So as a matter of fact, it's so a part of life that I had to analyze it, I had to dissect it. I had to completely break it down and go, why do I feel this way?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And what's really going on here with the opening of the door. You know, I had to look at it and then look at my history, growing up in a country that I was not born in. I missed it by like a few months being born in the, on this land, but it becomes a racial issue for me because I have to look at it. I have to figure out where it comes from, but for you, it's the same thing, but you never had to really understand where that behavior came from, where that mentality came from, where that thought came from.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But we're, we're talking about the same exact thing. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> Okay, but I know I totally just derailed </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you what you did in the survey. We asserted as we start getting into racial issues. I have a hard time discussing because I feel like I'm in a different, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have a hard time discussing it because you've never had to discuss it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You know, I, at a certain age began discussing it with fellow, other people that maybe look like me or definitely have that same situation. So let's just put that back. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. But so in high school you were definitely like, you're not going to let anyone in please go back to what you were saying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> That's just, that's just how I did. And I couldn't show vulnerability. I couldn't show weakness. I couldn't show any of that. And why is that? It's a great, yeah. Question. I want to </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> say a kid who said you're a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> weak, if you sh I mean, where does that come from? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:03]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's a couple of incidents that I could probably point out.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Um, one would be, uh, junior high school. I would wait for the bus at my little bus stop until these two older kids just started picking on me before the bus. And when are you going to do, you know, I'm like </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> beat him up. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Well, if you were me </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> anyways, anyway, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> get the pencil.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Anyways, I ended up taking a five minute walk and going up a bus stop and I didn't have any problems.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And that's just what I did, but wow. Was that week. I don't know. I think it was. And I think that that lingered with me, and I think that that being that week and, and not being, I don't know, I don't know what the right word is strong enough to stay at my normal bus stop. I don't know. I don't know what would have happened.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I don't know what wouldn't have happened. I don't know how serious or not these kids were, but I wasn't, I wasn't liking it. I wasn't having it. So I didn't. Um, and I think that started <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> to tweak me. And then when I started in, in, um, uh, Yeah, the narc decided to climb all over me the first two weeks of school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Cool. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:09]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You guys knew who the narc was in your </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> school? They were. Okay. So we called them the narc. They weren't undercover. They were just the security officers for the school. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:19]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> See, we had like undercover people </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in my high school. We may have to, I don't know. No, but um, you know, this, this. We then later we called them the security sprouts, but that's a whole, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is that where it comes from?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You use that term with me all the time. That's where it comes from your high school security </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> sprout. Um, yes, it does. It does. And I don't know who coined that. I don't know if that was me or if that was Vince, Vince thee. Now he's a, he's a sheriff, so yeah, training officer the whole bit, but anyways, shout out Vince, um, anyways, um, but climbed all over me.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And why? <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> Oh, well, because my wallet was in my front pocket and it looked like a pack of smokes because I had a key chain. It was the Lochness monster from Scotland, but it was like, in my pocket, it looked like a lighter. Right? What that Hef. Yeah. And you know, if, if I knew now, if I knew them, when I knew now, I would've said, that's fine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">You want to search me? Let's go to the office, let's get a principal involved and you know, let's do this. Right, right. Um, but you know, they were just like, what's in your pocket. I was like, Ooh, it's this versus, you know, I know my rights and you can't just arbitrarily stop and stop and search me. So let's make it official.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And let's get documentation on this. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I mean, the way kids get treated in school is, is, uh, It's horrifying. And I </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> was this geeky dumb ass, 13 year old, no, nothing bowl haircut, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> practically, you know, goose, doofus. Right. You know, I wasn't, you know, it was much later that grew the hair out and I wore the ripped jeans and the concert t-shirts every day.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:13]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> The heavy metal. God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:16]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And I had my fedora, I would wear a fedora with bandana on it, but anyways, yeah. Um, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know, every time someone says fedora, I think yamaka </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:25]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> with the bandana on it, rock on anyways. Um, but I think that those two kinds of things, they, they, they, they led a lot to it. I think that, um, you know, uh, certainly in high school, there is a tendency for people to attack the weak.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so it's hard to show yourself as weak. And I want to say that I've heard that this has changed, but it really has not. It has that bullies are bullies are bullying. Yeah. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, it's more, um, it's I couldn't say technical. What's <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> the word I'm looking for now? It's more, you know, cyber. Yeah. There's another word I'm looking for, but yeah, the cyber </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:06]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it's more cyber </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> bullying.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's it's happening on a different level. Um, oh my God. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And we got to hear from favors it's so </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's so it's so animal kingdom. You know, like you're out in the Serengeti and you're going to be eaten. So you have to learn how to survive. I mean, through high school, I felt like it was jail for me. Well, like, like you had to survive </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> when, when the lions come after the Gazelles, it's the week one that gets cut from the herd.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">It's I don't have to run faster than the lion I have to run or faster than the bear. I have to run faster than you. It's that mentality. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:53]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's so weird. Maybe, maybe that's the issue because the you're choosing to look at walking away as <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> weakness. Whereas for me, it's like I got stuff to do. I don't want to touch you and get involved in your messed up, um, field.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Racial bullying any kind of messed up thing. I don't even want to deal with it. If I fight you. It's, uh, you know, we we've talked about this. If we get into it fighting, it's, it's a very intimate act. You're touching each other all over. Like your bodies are in total contact. I don't even want to be near you.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Whether it's physically or with words, I don't think it's weakness to walk away. I have things to do. And I mean, look at this from one conversation, we've had to do three podcasts to, to like get over the insults and the, the toxicity of that conversation. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> So, and that was just a conversation, but like, imagine.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I'll just say how I feel when you have a confrontation like that. It just, it will like resonate with you throughout your lifetime, unless you really release it and figure out tools in which you can truly release it from your spirit. But like, you know, it does go back to favors though, so, okay. Um, it was second grade for me and I was walking home.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And it was, it was a long walk home and all of a sudden these bullies that I really didn't even know existed in school, they were following me. And I just thought, whatever, maybe they're this, they have a new route. Cause I had my own routes to walk home. You know, like all the kids, their houses, like you always knew the route of other kids and you knew where their houses were.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Right. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> But these kids, these big, big boys. Like way older and like big were behind me. And I knew that was not their route home. And then they started calling me and I don't remember, they didn't call me by my name. Right. And it was a threat. And the next thing I know is they got closer and closer and their words got louder and louder and uglier.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And next thing I know I'm on the ground and they're hitting me. They're like punching me. And, you know, I was a little, little kid, like little tiny girl, right. I've always been small. And so there was three of them and it was a racial thing. Second grade.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you say you don't want to talk about politics. I've always had to deal with politics, Matt, second grade. And <span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span> so here's where the favor comes in. I did not ask for this, but there was this other little girl, Rachel and her route was kind of my, on the same as mine, but her house was way closer than my house.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And so here, here comes little Rachel. And she's also Caucasian, these boys, Caucasian. And somehow she was friends with them or somehow they looked up to her, even though she was also smaller than they were, but she yelled at them and said, "Hey, get off of her." And they reluctantly obeyed her and they walked away and she asked me if I was okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think, I don't really remember after that point, but I thought to myself, oh, she's, she's a friend. But in her helping me out like that, she never wanted to talk to me again. Like she was always distant after that point. I'm like, wow, what is that? <span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> Does she feel like she did me a solid, a favor and that she just wanted to leave it at that?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Did she feel like I would get a needy and like cling onto her as security all the time? Which I had no intention of doing. I was pissed. You know, my rage, you know, before second grade, I mean, I, I went from country to country and I would pummel, bullies. This one, I just got thrown off guard. Do you know what I mean?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, I don't know. I just got thrown right. In many ways, but what I'm trying to say is like, what was that? Sometimes a favor makes people. It's more separate and it goes back to what this guy was saying. Like he had such a bad reaction to you talking about doing someone a solid. So what did, what do you think that's about?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like she seriously never talked to me again </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> <span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:00]</span> again, I'll, I'll bring up my ridiculous suburban equivalent . You ready? All right. So I was in high school band. Okay. Fine band geek. Call me what you will last chair trumpet every year. Thank you so much. Um, one of the flutists in the band, her name was Angela rustic, Angela and I never talked we're same age, the whole bit, fine, whatever.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So me and my buddy Vince who's again now a sheriff, uh, would cut school six period almost everyday. Because our teachers didn't take role. Anyways, and one of the things we would do is, sometimes we go out for lunch or go get, grow, grit, go grab a bite.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And we go to McDonald's where Angela Russell worked. And if she was our cashier, she would always give us a ton of extra food. I remember we ordered whatever it is we ordered. And then she's like, and what kind of sauce do you want with that? And I was like, huh. And then I blurted something out. But cause I had no idea why she was asking me anyway and <span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:00]</span> she gave me chicken McNuggets.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">In addition to, in addition to, in addition to. So she does this for us. And like the first time she did it, I was like, oh my God. Cause I was just like, Hey, Hey Angela, how's it gone? And you know, she was just working. She gave us extra food. I was like, what? And um, the next day I went to go talk to her. She gave the two same, two shit she gave from me before she'd done me that solid.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Just couldn't be bothered to talk to me. What the heck?. Cause I was like, I just wanted to, I was just going to say, thank you. So I was like, Hey Angela, how's it going? I mean, literally she wouldn't even say hi back. Hmm. And we would go back to her at McDonald's and she would continually give us extra food.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">What heck </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:48]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> maybe she reached her capacity of braveness and didn't know how to proceed from there. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I don't think so. I think that she could give two S's about us in general, but when she was <span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:00]</span> at work, she might as well, you know, whatever, I guess I don't, I honestly don't know. It confuses me to this day. I love Angela Russell.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you're out there. Tell me what the, what the bejesus, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> maybe she just didn't know how to proceed from there. Maybe she had a crush on you and she didn't know what to do after that point, or maybe she was mad at her job. And she's like, I'm just going </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> to give stuff. Honestly, I think it was probably more about the hate of the job than the love of anything else, but still it was, it, it it's bizarre.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I dunno. I, I feel like we're. Or are we totally derailing from the whole topic of doing someone a favor?? </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Sometimes the universe gives you a solid that, you know, the universe is saying don't repay, you know, </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it should always be, it should, it's like lending money, letting someone borrow money. If you were going to let someone borrow money, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:00]</span> you deep down.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Should let it go forever and think that you're never going to get it back. And I think, I think the same with favors, right? You do someone a favor, not because you're expecting a payback. You're doing someone a favor to once again, show kindness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. Right. And, or deepen a relationship this past Friday. Um, like wrestling with, with this thing, that's just brutal and there's no documentation, et cetera, et cetera.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So I called up one of my coworkers, Marshall, who I never talked to and I was like, Marshall, can I just run this by with you? It was the end of my day. I was just like, I wanted to tie it up. I wanted to see if he knew of any scenario where, what I was missing if I w if I wasn't doing this right.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, basically he came up with a goose egg, but I wasn't afraid to call him, show my vulnerability, ask him for help. And you know what, Marshall's a really nice guy <span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:00]</span> and, you know, that's going to help our relationship in the future. He's going to be, feel more comfortable, like talking to me about this kind of stuff.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">That's all,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:42:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it's something that we have to practice, like how, when we were creating our wedding, Our wedding party. We had to understand well as a culture, as a society, especially in the United States, we've lost the art of entertaining that when we have a simple wedding, even then it becomes this huge catastrophe.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Do you know what I mean? Like every little thing will throw someone off and it turns into this fiasco all because we're not used to entertain. So what if the cake balls and ends up on the floor, moving on, you know, it's about the gathering. It's not about a cake, but everything becomes about the cake that got mishandled or, someone showing up drunk or, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:00]</span> let me not get into it because that was crazy.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But what I'm trying to say, If we just do this more often that the muscle memory will come back to our society of helping each other out. It's not a big deal. It's just a part of life like breathing. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. But as I'm thinking about this, I'm thinking about my own actions.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">The other day I told one of my best friends, I'm learning this thing on the website and she said, please let me help you. And to this day, every day, I want to ask her to help me, but I won't. And why is that? Because deep down I have fear she's not going to talk to me again much. Like what happened with little Rachel saving me from the bullies.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I just realized that just now. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:43:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yeah. You mean you need to break through that. And that's what, where I came to it. When I was <span style="color:#808080;">[00:44:00]</span> finally a senior in high school, I think I broke through and I started to really own my, my, my inner me and be confident and get comfortable inside of my inner me, which was great because I went from this very, I went from an LA county high school into a college at hippy-dippy Santa Cruz.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And because I had a clear sense of who I was, I was still, I was as comfortable as I could be. And when I think about it, it's like, wow. So rampant shift. I didn't know anybody there when I started, I was comfortable with that. And nowadays I'm like, "really?", because I think I would be comfortable in a similar situation, but I know so much more now I went into it naively comfortable, as opposed to, really thinking through like strategically, these are the, these are the things you should do within the first two months.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And, you know, you have to figure this out and that out. And the other thing out, I just, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:00]</span> I kinda let things happen and things worked out. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:45:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. You know, uh, part of what that is, Matt, this is going to sound like I'm totally derailing us again, but it's not. That's the whole point of a vacation at our society at once again in the United States, most of us can't afford a vacation.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">We can't go on a vacation, a vacation, meaning you have such a break to go outside of your normal routine. Out of the norm of what you see every day, taking yourself, removing yourself from what you're used to seeing. So removing yourself from where you live. Removing yourself from point a and going to point B that has a completely different atmosphere and different view.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">So you have a break, so you're not constantly wrapped up in your daily routine, all the millions of <span style="color:#808080;">[00:46:00]</span> things that ask for your attention that take away from you having the ability to see clearly, right. It's things are always pulling you to your reality, instead of the reality of creating something new. That's why vacations are so important.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think for you completely being removed from your very conservative family, going far away to Santa Cruz, that's very liberal to a place that's in the forest. So it's quiet away from the city and the freeways. I mean, Santa Cruz. Um, you know, I had a best friend who at the same time, went to Santa Cruz while I w I went to study in San Francisco and we would compare our lives.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, I'd be like, Hey, it's six in the morning. I jumped on the bus or I jumped on the, you know, I like meet all like hundreds of people, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:00]</span> uh, like within 10 minutes. And I jumped on the cable car and the cable car. Hello birds. They, they take me to school and she's like, wow, I walk. And I see fawns on, on my path to school.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Like, do you know what I mean? Like you had a completely different shift, and that allowed you to have different perspective and it allowed you to see properly or to have a different vantage point on all levels. Right. Right. And so that allowed you to create a new reality to create a new thought.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">I think that's why that's one of the keys. Why Santa Cruz was so such a pivotal time for you? Great. Um, shift, right? Huh? But like this going back; being vulnerable like that it's vulnerable to ask for a favor and it's vulnerable to actually do it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:47:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:00]</span> absolutely. But if you're comfortable in your own skin, which I think is the most important part of everybody that you need to be, you need to find a way to make it okay.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">And you need to be comfortable in making it okay. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:48:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And you were saying need to, and it's like, oh my God, this is yet another thing we have to do. Well, it is something we have to do. And it's not a chore. Like once we become okay with doing that again, and I have to remind this while I'm saying it to myself, you will see that it's a natural thing.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Animals do it all the time. They do each other solids all the time. There are examples everywhere. You know, when we first started our podcast, we did a story on, the unlikely friendship. We talked about Darwin and how Darwin, didn't say survival of the fittest is, is it? He said, it's a theory,</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">because when you look at nature, you'll see so many examples of <span style="color:#808080;">[00:49:00]</span> animals you would think are enemies, actually helping each other out. Remember the Wilder beast. Um, being eaten by the alligator and all the hippos strategically surrounded that alligator and the hippos assigned each other jobs in getting the Willdabeast away out of the jaws of this alligator, crocodile .</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And then. the other group of hippos escorted the wildebeest all the way to the other side of the river and helped it out. It happens all the time in nature, when you look around, they're always doing each other favors and not only that they're very, , considerate.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"> <span style="font-size:large;">Like, The bird will actually stand in line without standing in line. We have a bird feeder here and birds will come and they will look at each other. And I can tell they're saying, okay, you're next? And then you're after this other guy and one by one, they go and take the seeds.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:00]</span> And then the other person, the other person, the other bird well go, they take turns, but I can see the communication that's happening saying you go first. Then I go after </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you, sometimes there'll be a lookout. Cause he's wants to make sure that we're not gonna, we're not doing anything screwing. Right?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> They're helping each other. This is natural. What we have become as a society is not natural. It is not natural to do everything on your own. It's great to be independent and strong, but it's not natural to not let anyone in. Right. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. If you want to go fast, you go by yourself.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">If you want to go far, you go with the team and you can very quickly get nowhere or you can get very far with a bunch of people. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So I think we should leave it at that. Do you have anything else you want to add? I'm good. So the next time you hear the word favor or have someone next time </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:50:58]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> someone asks you <span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:00]</span> for </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> anything.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Someone asks you for a favor, or if you want to ask someone for a favor, remember the true original meaning of favor, which is show kindness, F a V E R E the original Latin. It means show kindness. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And kindness is not Google it.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:24]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. Love you so much. Can you do us a favor and spread the word about our friendship, the art of friendship movement. If you could please go to apple, is it apple? You know, the apple listening method? I do apple. ITunes iTunes. I don't know. What I'm trying to say is, can you please leave us a kind review, leave </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:50]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> us a review, wherever it is you picked up this podcast.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">And if you picked up this podcast from some random friend than </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;"><span style="color:#808080;">[00:51:55]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> email the apple, when that, like, for some reason, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:52:00]</span> but we'd like an apple review, uh, for some reason the apple iTunes thing has more, for some reason more merit and allows your podcast to become more. More special listen to, but we are thankful.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">Thank you so much for everyone listening around the world. It is like I am in awe of you all. Thank you so much. Let's bring back the art of friendship go to our website, our friendly world.com and just click on to contact us. And it's, uh, an email that goes directly to me and.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:large;">But me because Matt's always working, working, and I was working on a podcast. All right. We love you so much. Talk to you in a few days. Thanks everybody. Bye bye-bye.</span></span></p>]]>
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                    <![CDATA[This episode came about as we had a guest that was so hateful and wrongly accused Matt of "manipulation" because he likes to present people with favors. Wanting to clear things up from that conversation, Fawn wanted to make sure Matt explained (before he was so rudely cut off), one of the many ways to really connect with people.  
This one act is something that you can do, to kindly, respectfully, and compassionately relate to people. And it's a simple thing; one that is really important for everyone to know about. This is also to correct a wrong that was done to Matt (referring to a rude guest we had).
We're talking about a favor.  Do you know what "favor" actually means? 
 the etymology, the origin, the Latin which is spelled FAVERE.
 
The etymology, the background, the root of favor originally means: show kindness. Isn't that beautiful?
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
The Favor - TRANSCRIPT 
[00:00:00] Matt: Doin' a favor? 
[00:00:01] Fawn: What'd you say 
[00:00:04] Matt: doing a favor? 
[00:00:06] Fawn: This is another followup show. I feel like too, um, a conversation that we had that I feel like I need to fix, , sometimes you talk to people and it really messes you up, 
[00:00:19] Matt: indeed.
[00:00:20] Fawn: I mean, I mean, I mean, my God, so there's something that I've been.
Wanting to clear up from another conversation, you were trying to say something and I knew what you were about to say, but you were so abruptly cut off and disrespected. And this time it wasn't me. 
[00:00:42] Matt: People find the need to, put themselves too much in the conversations and try and cut things short 
[00:00:47] Fawn: and yet complain that they didn't get a chance to talk.
]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:53:51</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Apologia]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Sep 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/apologia</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/apologia</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We begin with Socrates and the history and meaning of "APOLOGIA". How we should defend what we believe is true. We use Socrates as an example of the result of what happens when we go against the status quo. How can we stay safe and sane?<br />And when mistakes happen, how do we apologize?  How should we apologize? When is it ok not to apologize?  We discuss the reasons why we fight and how we can reach a loving point.</p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here we go, here we go. Do you even know, do you even understand when you come up behind me and you scare the heck out of me when I'm in the kitchen and I'm deep in thought and I jump, am holding my heart and I feel traumatized because all of a sudden you're like you just come up from out of nowhere.</p>
<p>It seems from my perspective, And it scares the hell out of me. And then you get mad. Then we get into a fight because really all I need is an apology. Like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, timeout, timeout, timeout. I'm just walking up to you. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> just walking up. Here we go again, link.</p>
<p>You know what? I don't even remember all of our fights. Like we have so many fights that miraculously, I don't even remember the fights. I just remember the general sense of annoyance and, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> and like rage, but honey, all you have to say once you realize I have calmed down is I'm sorry. Oh my God.</p>
<p>Are you all right? Oh, no. Look at you. You, I totally startled you... like admit it, but you don't, you immediately go into a state of you're on trial and you're fighting for your, your, your perspective, your proving that you're right. Even though</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I didn't do anything.</p>
<p>See,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's the that's you did. Do... you scared me!!!!.</p>
<p>Okay.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's intent. Oh my God, your honor.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, so good morning, everybody. Good evening. Good afternoon. Can I just say thank you, France. France is awesome. France has been such a loyal listener country like outside of the United States and you know what? <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> And so, so many other countries around the world.</p>
<p>Thank you all for listening, please, please. If you could leave us a kind review on one of the platforms. When you go on our website, our friendly world.com, please. It helps out our show, which already you have helped so much. Thank you for listening everyone. Anyway, back to our fight. You ready? Oh dear. So we are always fighting.</p>
<p>We love each other, but we're always fighting, but really the fight happens because It's to me, from my perspective, it's about all the making of excuses instead of just apologizing. And so when was it a, was it a few weeks ago or a few months ago at time is very weird for me.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Time is fairly fluid. Yeah.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We begin with Socrates and the history and meaning of "APOLOGIA". How we should defend what we believe is true. We use Socrates as an example of the result of what happens when we go against the status quo. How can we stay safe and sane?And when mistakes happen, how do we apologize?  How should we apologize? When is it ok not to apologize?  We discuss the reasons why we fight and how we can reach a loving point.
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Here we go, here we go. Do you even know, do you even understand when you come up behind me and you scare the heck out of me when I'm in the kitchen and I'm deep in thought and I jump, am holding my heart and I feel traumatized because all of a sudden you're like you just come up from out of nowhere.
It seems from my perspective, And it scares the hell out of me. And then you get mad. Then we get into a fight because really all I need is an apology. Like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
[00:00:37] Matt: Oh, timeout, timeout, timeout. I'm just walking up to you. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm
[00:00:43] Fawn: just walking up. Here we go again, link.
You know what? I don't even remember all of our fights. Like we have so many fights that miraculously, I don't even remember the fights. I just remember the general sense of annoyance and, [00:01:00] and like rage, but honey, all you have to say once you realize I have calmed down is I'm sorry. Oh my God.
Are you all right? Oh, no. Look at you. You, I totally startled you... like admit it, but you don't, you immediately go into a state of you're on trial and you're fighting for your, your, your perspective, your proving that you're right. Even though
[00:01:31] Matt: I didn't do anything.
See,
[00:01:33] Fawn: that's the that's you did. Do... you scared me!!!!.
Okay.
[00:01:39] Matt: There's intent. Oh my God, your honor.
[00:01:42] Fawn: All right, so good morning, everybody. Good evening. Good afternoon. Can I just say thank you, France. France is awesome. France has been such a loyal listener country like outside of the United States and you know what? [00:02:00] And so, so many other countries around the world.
Thank you all for listening, please, please. If you could leave us a kind review on one of the platforms. When you go on our website, our friendly world.com, please. It helps out our show, which already you have helped so much. Thank you for listening everyone. Anyway, back to our fight. You ready? Oh dear. So we are always fighting.
We love each other, but we're always fighting, but really the fight happens because It's to me, from my perspective, it's about all the making of excuses instead of just apologizing. And so when was it a, was it a few weeks ago or a few months ago at time is very weird for me.
[00:02:50] Matt: Time is fairly fluid. Yeah.
[00:02:51] Fawn:]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Apologia]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We begin with Socrates and the history and meaning of "APOLOGIA". How we should defend what we believe is true. We use Socrates as an example of the result of what happens when we go against the status quo. How can we stay safe and sane?<br />And when mistakes happen, how do we apologize?  How should we apologize? When is it ok not to apologize?  We discuss the reasons why we fight and how we can reach a loving point.</p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:00]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Here we go, here we go. Do you even know, do you even understand when you come up behind me and you scare the heck out of me when I'm in the kitchen and I'm deep in thought and I jump, am holding my heart and I feel traumatized because all of a sudden you're like you just come up from out of nowhere.</p>
<p>It seems from my perspective, And it scares the hell out of me. And then you get mad. Then we get into a fight because really all I need is an apology. Like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Oh, timeout, timeout, timeout. I'm just walking up to you. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:00:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> just walking up. Here we go again, link.</p>
<p>You know what? I don't even remember all of our fights. Like we have so many fights that miraculously, I don't even remember the fights. I just remember the general sense of annoyance and, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:00]</span> and like rage, but honey, all you have to say once you realize I have calmed down is I'm sorry. Oh my God.</p>
<p>Are you all right? Oh, no. Look at you. You, I totally startled you... like admit it, but you don't, you immediately go into a state of you're on trial and you're fighting for your, your, your perspective, your proving that you're right. Even though</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:31]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I didn't do anything.</p>
<p>See,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that's the that's you did. Do... you scared me!!!!.</p>
<p>Okay.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> There's intent. Oh my God, your honor.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:01:42]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right, so good morning, everybody. Good evening. Good afternoon. Can I just say thank you, France. France is awesome. France has been such a loyal listener country like outside of the United States and you know what? <span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:00]</span> And so, so many other countries around the world.</p>
<p>Thank you all for listening, please, please. If you could leave us a kind review on one of the platforms. When you go on our website, our friendly world.com, please. It helps out our show, which already you have helped so much. Thank you for listening everyone. Anyway, back to our fight. You ready? Oh dear. So we are always fighting.</p>
<p>We love each other, but we're always fighting, but really the fight happens because It's to me, from my perspective, it's about all the making of excuses instead of just apologizing. And so when was it a, was it a few weeks ago or a few months ago at time is very weird for me.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:50]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Time is fairly fluid. Yeah.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:02:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> But I would say somewhat recently.</p>
<p>You know, our whole basis somewhat recently, this happened and to just backtrack a little <span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:00]</span> bit, our whole foundation for the friendly movement and finding your perfect friendship match, which is how we started this whole movement was we set up, uh, this is long before Bumble and all these other guys, we set up a platonic friendship, a matchmaking service.</p>
<p>So you could find a true blue true... I don't know why they call it true blue. It makes me sad, but like a true friend. You're a true friend within your own zip code, finding your personality traits and everything. Like all your ethics and putting all that together to find a true friend. That's what we were about.</p>
<p>I digress. What was I saying? What was I trying to say?</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Time is fluid.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:03:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So. All of our stuff goes back to ancient Greece. Actually, this is not a new thing. I think the the loneliness epidemic is a new thing, if you look at all of history, but <span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:00]</span> the finding of true friends and to really have friends around you and the dynamics that happen within friendships. That's not new. It's, it's many, many, many, many, many centuries old. All right. Our inspiration comes from ancient Greece. Hello, Greece. So we were talking one day and then you brought up Socrates,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:04:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Socrates, and.</p>
<p>I brought up Socrates because we started because, sorry, I'm always finding random things because that's what I do. Mostly because yeah, I don't let, I don't let the man track me. So I always log in as a quote unquote, new user. So there's no search history, so I'm not diving down rabbit holes. I'm very much taking a breadth first kind of approach to the universe, which is kind of fun.</p>
<p>And I uncovered an article that was talking about. About Plato's Apologia, which is Plato the only knowledge we have <span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:00]</span> of Socrates is through Plato because Socrates was a talker and Plato was a writer. Okay. So Plato is the one who immortalized, Socrates, and</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> any Socrates was Plato's teacher?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:14]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. Anyway. The article I came across was telling me that, Plato's Apologia, which is the apology of Socrates at his trial, where he ended up dying and drinking hemlock.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Wait, hold on, go back, go back. So, first of all, can you remind everyone why he was on trial.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, he was a dangerous influence.</p>
<p>Um, Athens had been through a little bit of political instability and Socrates was out there challenging everybody. He would stand out in the market square. His thing was he would ask questions until the other person who started out smug ends up saying, oh</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:05:55]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no, yeah. We talked about this before.</p>
<p>It's all about the questions. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:00]</span> And the people that thought they were really educated and knew everything would be dumbfounded. They would be found like. A non knowing person. Right. Which is everybody, nobody really knows everything.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And in the process of this, he, he attracted a huge grouping of, young people around him.</p>
<p>So he was convicted. They convicted. Well, yeah, he was convicted. Yes. He was accused of, failing to acknowledge the gods of the city and introducing his own sense of division.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> So he was challenging the status quo.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. And more importantly, as we know from bill and Ted's excellent adventure. "So crates" as they referred to him.</p>
<p>"So Crates" was accused of corrupting the young. So not unlike rock and roll</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> stars. I was just going to say, yeah, or whatever it is for whatever time period or whatever we're going through. There's always someone</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:06:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> youngsters always get into stuff that the <span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:00]</span> oldsters don't understand.</p>
<p>So what I discovered reading an article was that, Plato's apology, the true definition of Apologia is okay. Self justification.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:13]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. So, yeah, too. So it comes from the Greek. The etymology of it is apologia and means a form it's a formal defense of an opinion, a position or an action.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> So, and I apologize, I'm doing right,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:07:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so, okay. I'm just going to skip over that. In classical Greek, a, well, reasoned reply is what it means to an apology, which they would say apologia is a well reasoned reply, a thought out response to accusations made; as that of Socrates. Now, when you scare the hell out of me, or whenever we fight, obviously I'm upset and you don't <span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:00]</span> acknowledge the hurt.</p>
<p>On the other side, you immediately go to your own defense and that's not an apology, but it's interesting how that was an apology back then.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:10]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm a classic</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Greek, but excuse me, what happens to Socrates?</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Yes. So Socrates did not have a very friendly room. He had a lot of people who weren't very fond of him, so yeah, he was convicted both counts</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:28]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> and yeah. T tell, tell our friends what ha what they made him do. Well, hold on,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> hold on.</p>
<p>Uh, Socrates. Cause he Socrates, he, he, he was a very, very, very smart man for the time. And I think for all time he was a very, very, very smart man. So he suggested a punishment and they said no. And punishment was interesting. The punishment would have been, him having to pay out six times his net worth, which</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:08:56]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> was interesting.</p>
<p>So he did offer an <span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:00]</span> apology and they were not accepting it because one of the things I think that makes an apology is if someone can't understand your apology, then you have to make it right. Sometimes you can't just say, I'm sorry, and have it be sincere or they're not going to accept it. Sometimes you have to go and fix the situation and.</p>
<p>Well, yeah, so, so he, in a way he was trying to do that.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:09:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> They laugh, they laughed at him for that literally six times his net worth, he was willing to pay, but then ostensibly, he would've been able to continue doing what he was doing. So I don't believe he said, Hey, I'm gonna stop. He said, okay, I hear what you said.</p>
<p>So here's my here's, here's a payment that I can give you. And he was going to pay them in silver, which is a little twisted, right. Being accused and convicted of being a low moral character basically, and trying to buy his way out. It's kind of fun. Interesting. Right. And then, And how I come to this as he offered <span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:00]</span> one it's called minae, which is a silver coin and he was worth about that much.</p>
<p>He was worth. Hmm, no, I'm sorry. No, I, I stand corrected. It was actually 30 times his net worth because he offered one minae initially, which is his entire net worth which is interesting. And then he said, well, I'll get some guarantors and I will give you 30 minae, which is 30 times his net worth. So it wasn't six times.</p>
<p>It was 30 times anyways. Um, but they said, no, not so much. Um, yeah, here's a, here's a cup of hemlock, which is a poison. Go ahead and drink that. And he did with no regrets, at least that's how Plato paints it. Uh,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:10:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> so back to. But back to the matter at hand, an apology aplogia, sometimes you just can't win, right?</p>
<p>Sometimes it's not going to help, but apologies, not going to help. We all make mistakes and apologizing is definitely a challenge. It could <span style="color:#808080;">[00:11:00]</span> definitely be its own art form. Having kids when they do something terrible to their sibling. We always like have a discussion and I'm like, okay, once the discussion is done, I'm like, now you see both sides.</p>
<p>Right. We know your side, why you did what you did, but do you understand why that hurt? L okay. Yeah. Reluctantly, she'll say, yeah. I'm like, all right, well now you have to make amends. I need you to go apologize . And like, she'll. Boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Say mom told me to say, sorry, like that is not an apology.</p>
<p>So here we go again, start all over. I'll have another discussion. It's exhausting. So it's quite a challenge to really apologize. And it has so many levels to it because sometimes you have to not only apologize to a person, but you have to kind of apologize to your own self and forgive yourself. It's really about <span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:00]</span> forgiveness and letting go and not holding on.</p>
<p>That's where the problem is. It's like, you feel like you have to hold on. I have to feel like, I feel like I have to hold on to my stance because you're not hearing me. You're not looking at me. You're not seeing what pain you've inflicted on me. You know, it could be small or big. If you constantly go to like this formal defense of I'm, right,</p>
<p>so the, the fight explodes and it turns into a huge nuclear weapon situation where there's total destruction. Do you not understand that when we fight?</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:42]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm never saying I'm right.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:12:43]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> You're wrong. You do, because let's say you come in and you break something then. And I'm like, oh my God, that is my artifact from one of my photo shoots from Ethiopia.</p>
<p>And you're like, well, you shouldn't have put it there as your, you put it there. And <span style="color:#808080;">[00:13:00]</span> then you totally give me your whole perspective of why you broke it instead of saying, sorry. Or when you do, sorry, Matt just tried to talk. Or when you do say, sorry, you quickly say it while I'm in the middle of rage and I cannot hear you when I'm upset.</p>
<p>Like you need to hear the person's pain and wait for a pause and then truly sincerely apologize when you say, oh my God, I'm so sorry. While the person is still like in the, in the midst of not hearing you, cause they're like feeling and seeing they're doing a replay of what just happened. I can't hear you then.</p>
<p>And then I don't know, a long time later while at the end of a live fight, only because it's an end only because I'm exhausted or you're exhausted. And you didn't even apologize. And then another fight starts because you'll say I did too <span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> apologize</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:00]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> multiple times.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm like, no, you did not. You did not. Oh.</p>
<p>And so we fight about that for a long time. So we have to backtrack and find out exactly what minute of the day it was that the supposed apology game I'm like, oh, so you were saying, you apologize, right when it hit the floor. Um, I can't hear you. Like I can't, I can't hear you. Are you feeling it most acutely?</p>
<p>Well, that's what I'm feeling more, most acutely and I cannot hear your lame little, little part. Oh,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:34]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> lame. They're super sincere folks. Super sincere. And I only get started getting into defending my position because I'm now apologized. I've sincerely apologize. And I'm still getting ball. I'm still getting shellacked</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:14:51]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> you know what?</p>
<p>You're lucky. You're cute. And then I love you because we always work it out. I am lucky. Knock on wood. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:00]</span> All right. You just did a happy dance. Here's the thing. Sometimes the worst part of an apology is when the person is so mad at you. Right? How do you apologize then? And how do you apologize when you don't like the person?</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Right. Right. And how do you accept an apology when somebody has done you so completely wrong?</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:15:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I that's, when I think the apology really needs to be for yourself, for you to forgive yourself for being in that situation to have been hurt by this person and realizing, okay, this person may do this all the time.</p>
<p>They may not be a good person for you. You may need to move away from this person. You may not, it may not serve you to be friends with this person or have to have this person in your immediate <span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:00]</span> circle or in your circle period. Right? So you need to take that apology upon your own heart and say, wow, all right, I'm going to take it easy on myself.</p>
<p>I'm going to forgive myself for being in this situation, but I'm going to take the lesson that this person does this without remorse, whatever the situation is and take that as an opportunity to say, I am taking this action now. And that action is I will not participate with this. They're not allowed in</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:36]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> no.</p>
<p>Well, in point of fact, that's usually how I deal with things. I mean, when I'm so completely wronged, I'm just done, but it has to be a real fundamental wrongness,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:16:48]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> especially when they're very apologia about it. They're not even apologia about it. They don't even defend it. It's just who they are. It's a constant stream of wrongs that don't.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:00]</span></p>
<p>Like they, they may not even realize it when you explain it to them,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> it</p>
<p>doesn't necessarily have to be a constant string. I mean, I can remember, an ex friend of mine back in the day.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:10]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I remember.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:11]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And it was interesting, uh, working at a company, digital lava, working there for a while, senior developer, I brought in another guy as a senior developer I'd worked with in the past and, you know, he was, he was who he was and.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:26]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> This is the guy you played games with. They would begin with</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> an a, yeah, we would play</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> video games, but I dare say it was not the only thing he did wrong to you though. Hold on. All right.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:17:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Thank you anyways. Um, yeah, due do some, uh, financial improprieties, uh, the company. And another company swooped in to just buy the assets, right?</p>
<p>Not the debt, not the blah, blah, blah. They just say scraped out a tiny little piece of the company and took it away and they wanted to talk to all the developers. Fair enough. Software <span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:00]</span> developers. Fair enough. Now I was out on vacay rather as soon as, as soon as the company folded and I got my walking papers and I was in like the last round of layoffs and all the rest of it.</p>
<p>And there was some shakiness going on there too, but that's irrelevant. I took off. It was right when I met my wife, we were dating. We went to, we went up to Seattle. And, uh,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:22]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> is that what it is that when all that went down, I went down. I thought it was when you went camping with your friends? No.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:18:29]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Okay. All right.</p>
<p>Nevermind. Anyways. Um, so, and he manned up, but, uh, the company wants to talk to all the developers and I was like, oh God, I don't know. And I'm not even here. So we'll see. Is what I said and what I communicated to my friend. And I thought about it while I was out on vacation. I'm like, I might as well, like look at these people in the eye and see what they have to say.</p>
<p>And, you know, maybe there's an opportunity there that I might care about who knows. Um, so <span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:00]</span> I changed my mind. I made a different decission</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:02]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> can you back up? I don't know if it's clear. So basically they were looking to hire some of the developers. Well, they were interested</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> in this. They were kind of exactly right. And this is one of these things that typically happens.</p>
<p>I mean, when my latest company got acquired, they, again, we interviewed for our jobs, uh, anyways. Um, so when I came back, uh, I made the decision. I wanted to talk to them and it turns out my buddy had already talked to them in the process of already talking to them. The projects that I had worked on and pretty much solely worked on back in the day where, where it wasn't a team of developers, a single developer who did a lot.</p>
<p>He had said that he had actually written those.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> He took credit for your work.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:46]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He took credit for all of my work because he assumed I wouldn't be talking to these people. Now he manned up and told me that.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:52]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah, he told me too, like he told you in front of me and</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:19:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> you. So he, you know, in, in that <span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:00]</span> respect, he quote unquote manned up, but</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:01]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wow.</p>
<p>He may end up, but he had already</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:04]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> done it. He had already done it. He hadn't asked if it was okay. Which honestly here's the weirdest part. I might have been okay with it. I'm certainly okay. Now because I'm very emotionally distanced from it, but that was it. We were done.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:17]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I remember though, in the beginning, You weren't completely done immediately.</p>
<p>Cause I think one, you were in shock, but I remember having a conversation like, well, I guess he needs it more than I do. Like he's really desperate for work. Right. So he had a mortgage. You know,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:35]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> mortgage and wife and I just had a</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> wife. He, she worked. So he had a partner. It's not like he was supporting a family.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:44]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> He was never as I think, confident as me.</p>
<p>Well,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:20:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> of course not. If you're competent, you wouldn't. That act he did, but yeah, so that was done. So that's an example of one thing, but it really wasn't one thing he, he had, uh, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:00]</span> um, a lot of tiny cuts. Usually when people do you wrong, there are many other cuts, right?</p>
<p>Remember he hit on me in front of you in front of his wife. You don't even remember.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:15]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> No, because I wouldn't have taken it at all. Seriously. I mean, he was kind of, well,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:19]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> neither did I, but it was still gross right in front of his wife at dinner. I get it. But anyway, I'm just saying usually when someone does that, uh, w what's the word for it when they're devious like that?</p>
<p>What's the word for it when they're not coming from a place of integrity? It's not, it's not just the one time where I get it or is that just me? Is that me having a bleak outlook</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:47]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> for me? And get back to the subject at hand? What</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:21:49]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I'm saying one, I'm not saying I'm not talking about you in particular, calm down.</p>
<p>What I'm trying to say is usually it's not <span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:00]</span> just the one thing, the one thing ends up being like the big thing you're like that is it. I am DONE.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I dunno. I put whether you go looking for heaven or hell, you'll find it. So if you want to look for those occasions where they were an ass, you will find them.</p>
<p>If you go looking for those occasions where they were a super swell guy, you will find them.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:22:21]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. All right. So what do we do? What do we do with an apology? Do you understand? So basically what we're sharing with you here is our epiphanies of what apology actually is. Because, and it was so funny again, you're lucky you're cute and that I love you because when you found the article on Socrates, you're like, you see and you're pointing to it and you're like, you see, and then say, how you, do you remember how you said it to me? Of course. He's like, you see, I apologia! Your voice went all <span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:00]</span> high. Like</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:02]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> my attempt to not get in trouble for saying it,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:05]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> but I apologia I'm like exactly.</p>
<p>You apology. Yeah. You basically had the formal defense of your own opinion, your position, your action, why you are right. That's right. Instead of saying, oh my God, I'm so sorry.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:20]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's not an apology.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's interesting. How things change over history? I like the</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> word decimate. That's a Greek word. It used to be one in 10, and now it means nine now.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:33]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And now people just misuse the word, not knowing exactly what it means.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> And where did flammable and inflammable come up? Come about? They both mean can explode by fire so, or they both can burn. So it's yeah. Relevant.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:23:45]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Well, I don't, I don't have my etymology dictionary in front of me. And that's another show.</p>
<p>Why would you bring a flammable right now? Burn the building down. That's a weird one. I will burn the building down when you don't apologize. Right. That, that is it, <span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:00]</span> man. I can't it's ridiculous space by the way. Yeah. Office space. Milton.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:07]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> was Milton. Yeah. Guacamole. I love that. Nobody remembers that. Well, nobody actually hears what he's saying throughout the whole movie,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> unless you really, unless you</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> again, yeah.</p>
<p>Play it back at like slow speed and really turn up the sound to hear what he's mumbling. Right. And he's mumbling letting you know he's upset and he's going to take action, but nobody listens to him. They ignore him. They push them to the side in the corner. In the basement, like</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:38]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Fawn's got</p>
<p>a red stapler by the way.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. You know what the red stapler means if you watch office space or if you watched the movie "Office Space", is that what it was called anyway? So the apology, well, I, I, I don't, I don't know. They</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:24:54]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> apologia, uh, No, and I, I get it, I get <span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:00]</span> it. And I understand that, you know, welcome to a traditional thought versus where we should have grown as a culture, as a people away from the defense, unless the other person says, how could you let this happen?</p>
<p>Or they want to know why then you should throw that out.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:25:20]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I have, I have two examples. One is. You really have to let go of your own defense when you, when you see the other side has been broken and I'm not talking about a broken piece of glass that was broken, that you were responsible for, or you think you're not responsible for breaking, but broken as in the person is upset, right?</p>
<p>So sometimes you not, sometimes I think the best approach is to let go of your own defense. Stay strong, but let go of that. For example, um, I saw this example <span style="color:#808080;">[00:26:00]</span> years ago, having to deal with parking spots, right? So let's say you, you park your car like a fool is how I say it. Like, do you ever go into a spot?</p>
<p>And you're like, why did this person park this way? This is ridiculous. Right. They obviously parked not within the lines and took up like three spots. So, you know, for whatever reason, sometimes you don't know sometimes that person parks like a fool because the person before them park like a fool and it was the only spot.</p>
<p>Like it was the only way, you know what I mean? The other person got into the lines. It doesn't matter, but let's say you come back to your parking spot and this person is standing there so angry because you took their spot or, you know, you took their spot at work or whatever it is, you parked like a fool.</p>
<p>Don't try to explain why you parked like a fool. Initially, what you can do is, oh my God. Like <span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:00]</span> just before they beat you to it, say, oh my God, look at me. I parked like a fool. Look at this. I'm so sorry. And you must be so upset. You're trying to get to where you're trying to get to. And here I am, I did the stupid thing.</p>
<p>Oh my God. You know, it kind of takes the heat off the situation. It could even make for a funny thing, like, oh my God. Look at me. I'm such a clown knowing deep down you're not really a fool a clown. But do you know what I mean? It takes away the heat</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:37]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> or an offer's justification. They have the person to really go for ya</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:41]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> perhaps, but I would say more, more likely they won't because you're already beating them to it.</p>
<p>And it isn't, it isn't that kind of Aikido. It's like, they expect you to be in defense. And you're not, isn't that part of Aikido is like</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:27:58]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> definitely offering <span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:00]</span> an,atemi, which is, something where they're convinced that you're about to hit them and it changes their body chemistry. Right? So you, you hit them with the truth.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:28:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> And another thing that changes body chemistry is this is, uh, an old Hawaiian thing, but what you state once there's a pause once there's enough, um, lag in time and I'm not talking like three weeks later, I'm talking about, there's a pause in the moment to say, I'm so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me.</p>
<p>They may not say, okay, I forgive you in that moment, but it does change the chemistry of the situation. Those are my two tidbits, my two pieces of advice. And the other thing is just try to walk away without creating another fight on top of it, just apologize or say, oh my God, I see your pain <span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:00]</span> right now.</p>
<p>I did not mean for you to experience this pain. I'm really sorry.</p>
<p>Let me try to find a way to make it up to you, but</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> that wouldn't work for me because you can't hear me initially.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:09]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I said, wait for a pause. You don't wait for a pause. You're like, oh my God. I'm so sorry. Exactly. And then right into defense mode,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I am being attacked.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:18]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> No, I'm not attacking you. I am sincerely in shock or upset, and you're taking that as an attack on you.</p>
<p>So you're being selfish,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:30]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> my blah, blah, blah. You did this. How could you do that? Well, yeah, that seems awfully directed at</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:29:38]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> somebody. Well, you need to take responsibility so you're letting know, oh my God, no, you, you are in defense more than you apologize. And the apology is like a split second long and your defense is like 18 million minutes long.</p>
<p>It's true. We're not getting anywhere now. We're getting into another fight. I can <span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:00]</span> see you looking like. Don't you look at me like that?</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:03]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Love is winning folks.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:04]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Love is winning.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> What was that? Oh my God.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> I feel mad right now. All right. All right. We're here to solve humanity's problems that create another one by fighting.</p>
<p>Anyway, maybe we can just say, look, guys, this is where the apology came from. You just got to deal with it . Apologia is not necessarily an apology</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:32]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> You need to rise above it. You need to, certainly when you do someone wrong, you need to own it and then you need to make it better. Somehow</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:30:40]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> it really goes back to ourselves, right?</p>
<p>No one truly has control over your emotions. You can let them, which means I can walk away from you and never talk to you again, man. It's true. It's what we do not we, but like, That's what people do. They divorce. <span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:00]</span> They, because you're not meeting each other. Right. And you don't want to anymore. It's on point because you're just not, your needs are not being met.</p>
<p>Your emotional needs are not being met. If you're constantly having to fight and see, we should shoot video. Cause I should show your expression.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:25]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> How am I am angelic, folks. I practically have a halo over my head.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> All right. Is there any way we can wrap this up? Do you have anything to say? And then you are constantly right and I'm wrong.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I'm sorry,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:31:39]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> honey. You know what? Shut up. How rude. That's another thing. This sarcastic apology. That's not sarcastic. That was another thing is the sarcastic apology guys that will FUEL the fire that's like pouring gasoline in the sarcastic <span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:00]</span> apology. It's worse that it's, it's, it's even worse than the in insincere apology.</p>
<p>Like mom told me to apologize, like what the sarcastic apology. No bueno. So you're quiet.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:16]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I was waiting for a pause in the conversation so I could apologize.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Okay. That's too long.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:28]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> I love you. Sweet pea. Don't</p>
<p>mean</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> to piss you off. See, that's better. You can say, I love you. I'm sorry, please forgive me. It has nothing to do with you being right or wrong. The main point is I love you, please forgive me. Cause I don't want to fight with your ass.</p>
<p>I shouldn't use a bad word. That's true. Is it a bad word? It's just a body</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> part. And it's also a, uh, animal. It's</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:32:59]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> <span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:00]</span> also a cute little donkey.</p>
<p>Okay. So every good story needs a beginning, a middle. And, and I don't know</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:08]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Be kind. . Wow. Look at that wrinkly nose. We should have video on you devil.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:15]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> How do we wrap this up?</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:17]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Talking about. I didn't even mention. Socrates was the smartest man is confirmed by the Delphic</p>
<p>oracle</p>
<p>The Oracle at Delphi, which proclaimed Socrates to be the smartest of all men, because somebody asked the Oracle because you actually talked to the Oracle and it talked back, um, who is the smartest man in all the land. And it said Socrates, who was bulled over it because he thought he was an idiot.</p>
<p>Okay. So anyways, folks, when you're caught in a situation. Where you've done someone wrong, try and let go of defending or even allowing them to understand why something happened, right.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:54]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> It's not about you. It's about</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:33:56]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> what about you at that point? It's about making the other person <span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:00]</span> feel better. So the other person needs to express how they're feeling because that's important.</p>
<p>And then indeed when they come to a point where it's appropriate and this the trick. Cause I just want to get my apology out so fast. So it's done. Cause I hate admitting when you know, I've done something stupid or wrong or clumsy or fill in your blank when it comes to a pause, then sincerely apologize.</p>
<p>Hmm. And I will try and do</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:34:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> that. Honest. You say that every time until we get into a situation again, and here we go again. You know, it's, it's fine. When we're sitting here all nice at the table with our coffees, with our mics and you sound like the perfect person, folks, this is what you do. But when, when it comes down to it, here we go again, it's a <span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:00]</span> fight.</p>
<p>Tap tap. Sometimes we do tap and then sometimes we have of a phrase we'll throw out when we know that there's no winning on either side and we'll just yell. Love is winning. It's it's pretty much, is it, I mean, would you consider that a white flag love is winning?</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:21]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, that's certainly a request for truth.</p>
<p>So yes, white.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:24]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. It's our, it's our requests for truce. That's for sure.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:27]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> It's time to take back apologia and apologize.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:31]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> There is a time for an apologia.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:33]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Well, yeah, certainly if you're on trial,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:35:35]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> no, not even, well, I guess you're always formal trial. No. Okay. I dare say, now watch, this is going to backfire on me, but once you've apologized and things are okay again, I think it's important to have an apologia. So the person understands how you ended up in that situation.<span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:00]</span></p>
<p>So they know maybe they're short and they'll leave a cup somewhere that's suited for them. And then here comes a much taller, bigger person and they knock over the cup then, you know, okay. I shouldn't, maybe I shouldn't put the cup right there, but this needs to happen after the fact after everything's okay.</p>
<p>After everything has been soothed, then you can say, well, this is why this happened. I don't have any examples out there in the world we can use. I just feel like the whole world is in such a state of not hearing an apology. Right. And it's interesting that we had a leader that would never apologize. And that's interesting.</p>
<p>There, there wouldn't even be an apologia. It would just be nothing, Like never admitting a wrong. Because they feel like nothing they do is a wrong well,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:36:57]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> and that's a whole other aspect, the person who <span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:00]</span> apologizes you can view them as weak and somebody who's weak, you can go after. So it's also about maintaining yourself as.</p>
<p>You know, maintaining strength inside of yourself, even though you're apologizing, even though your weaker in the eyes of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Still being able to do that is, is really a sign of strength. It's really a sign of confidence. It's really a sign of. You know, I will survive. I will.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:30]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> Yeah. And it definitely shows that they are weak when they feel like they can't do that, that they, that they can't apologize because that makes them really well,</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:37:39]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> certainly weak and moral character.</p>
<p>Absolutely.</p>
<p>Love is winning. Love you, babe.</p>
<p>Plato's apology. Socrates was a quote-unquote gadfly or a horsefly, , trying to sting the Athenian nobility into doing what was responsible and what was good, which was really <span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:00]</span> kind of one of the core central reasons why he was accused of the things he was accused of.</p>
<p>And at least this was his mindset, but again, I'm offering defense and we're talking about apologizing and that doesn't fit. We're</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:38:11]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> not just talking aboutapology. You were talking about the whole thing, the whole thing, defense and apology, and why you need the apologia. Sometimes you need that defense.</p>
<p>And like I said, you need that defense at the end. To explain why certain situation occurred or, to explain your thought, your mode of thinking of why you reached a certain conclusion that may still not be understood by the other person. If not, then that fight is going to reoccur.</p>
<p>Why are we hearing crickets in the middle, in the middle of the morning do you hear that? I do. It's like, have you all heard roosters? <span style="color:#808080;">[00:39:00]</span> When I was out on a photo shoot in Ethiopia? And we were starting to really move away from the Bush and like go towards the city. But we were still very far away from the city.</p>
<p>It was the first time I could sleep in a hut, like a structure. I heard a rooster I got all excited, not excited, but I'm like, okay, I guess I have to start my day because I was only thinking of rooster is from what I read in. Nursery school. Like as soon as the sun comes up, cock-a-doodle-doo the, you know, the rooster tells you</p>
<p>the sun is coming it's morning time. So anyway, I heard the rooster and I went through my drawn out routine of putting the socks and the hiking boots and like all the gear that I would have to have every day, which it took forever. It felt like, especially when you're hot and tired and hungry all the time.</p>
<p>And tired. Did I mention that? But anyway, I heard the rooster, it was still <span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:00]</span> dark, but I'm like, I guess the sun's coming up. So I started to get dressed, unzipped myself out of the many tents I had built for myself. Cause I was terrified of the mosquitoes. I had a mosquito tent and then inside of that, I was, I had all this stuff on me to protect from mosquitoes.</p>
<p>And then when I got out of the mosquitonet tent on the bed, supposedly quote, unquote bed, then, I would get out of the, tent, which was inside this, hut. I finally get out, I'm all geared up. I opened the door and I'm like, where's the sun rooster? Where's this sun. So somehow I got to my watch and it was two in the morning.</p>
<p>I was pissed.</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:43]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> Nice. That rooster should</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:40:44]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> apologize. So like, are the crickets like the rooster, like you think Cricket's only happened at night anyway, I digress folks. I apologize. Sorry. Um, do you have anything to add? All <span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:00]</span> right. I love you so much. Thank you for listening everyone. Oh, I thought you was</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:06]</span> <span style="color:#fa8a3b;"><strong>Matt:</strong></span> talking to me.</p>
<p>I</p>
<p><span style="color:#808080;">[00:41:07]</span> <span style="color:#d82292;"><strong>Fawn:</strong></span> love you too. Okay. We'll talk to you in a few days. Everyone talk to you later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Apologia-.mp3" length="40567213"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We begin with Socrates and the history and meaning of "APOLOGIA". How we should defend what we believe is true. We use Socrates as an example of the result of what happens when we go against the status quo. How can we stay safe and sane?And when mistakes happen, how do we apologize?  How should we apologize? When is it ok not to apologize?  We discuss the reasons why we fight and how we can reach a loving point.
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Here we go, here we go. Do you even know, do you even understand when you come up behind me and you scare the heck out of me when I'm in the kitchen and I'm deep in thought and I jump, am holding my heart and I feel traumatized because all of a sudden you're like you just come up from out of nowhere.
It seems from my perspective, And it scares the hell out of me. And then you get mad. Then we get into a fight because really all I need is an apology. Like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
[00:00:37] Matt: Oh, timeout, timeout, timeout. I'm just walking up to you. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm
[00:00:43] Fawn: just walking up. Here we go again, link.
You know what? I don't even remember all of our fights. Like we have so many fights that miraculously, I don't even remember the fights. I just remember the general sense of annoyance and, [00:01:00] and like rage, but honey, all you have to say once you realize I have calmed down is I'm sorry. Oh my God.
Are you all right? Oh, no. Look at you. You, I totally startled you... like admit it, but you don't, you immediately go into a state of you're on trial and you're fighting for your, your, your perspective, your proving that you're right. Even though
[00:01:31] Matt: I didn't do anything.
See,
[00:01:33] Fawn: that's the that's you did. Do... you scared me!!!!.
Okay.
[00:01:39] Matt: There's intent. Oh my God, your honor.
[00:01:42] Fawn: All right, so good morning, everybody. Good evening. Good afternoon. Can I just say thank you, France. France is awesome. France has been such a loyal listener country like outside of the United States and you know what? [00:02:00] And so, so many other countries around the world.
Thank you all for listening, please, please. If you could leave us a kind review on one of the platforms. When you go on our website, our friendly world.com, please. It helps out our show, which already you have helped so much. Thank you for listening everyone. Anyway, back to our fight. You ready? Oh dear. So we are always fighting.
We love each other, but we're always fighting, but really the fight happens because It's to me, from my perspective, it's about all the making of excuses instead of just apologizing. And so when was it a, was it a few weeks ago or a few months ago at time is very weird for me.
[00:02:50] Matt: Time is fairly fluid. Yeah.
[00:02:51] Fawn:]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/NO.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:42:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Bonsai Tree - On Nature and How We Grow]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Sep 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-bonsai-tree-on-nature-and-how-we-grow</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-bonsai-tree-on-nature-and-how-we-grow</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p> Bonsai trees are intended to bring the core aspects of nature: balance harmony, and simplicity. It's said that when we consider the natural flow of the environment, these three characteristics, should anything occur to disrupt it (nature) will always restore itself. There is always a natural harmonic balance to things.</p>
<p>In looking at the trees and their scale, on so many levels we can realized how much bigger the trees are than manmade structures. And if you look at it, a tree (nature), is way, way, more massive than anything that we make.</p>
<p>The act of caring for bonsai trees is nurturing in its profound sense. And when giving from the heart, the giver benefits as much as the receiver. By bonding through nature, the Bonzai plant's meaning is enriched and it becomes our teacher. I thought that was beautiful. And it calls to friendship too; all relationships, by bonding, by bonds, things are enriched and it's a teaching moment. We teach each other. The more we provide and nurture for one, the other also reciprocate, not always in the sense that we expect, but it is going back to that circle. When you care, you are cared for. What you seek is seeking you.</p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Hello, we are here. So are the birds. Can you hear him?</p>
<p>[00:00:05] <strong>Matt:</strong> That's like a Yodel bird.</p>
<p>[00:00:06] <strong>Fawn:</strong> I know there are all kinds of wildlife outside</p>
<p>[00:00:12] <strong>Matt:</strong> and, but we actually have our windows open because it's actually not</p>
<p>[00:00:14] <strong>Fawn:</strong> boiling hot out. Right. I want to say there has been a moving a migration , if you will, of all kinds of wildlife coming to the tree right outside our window, because.</p>
<p>The food, the bird seeds, we have chosen. It's a whole new community out there. It's wild.</p>
<p>[00:00:34] <strong>Matt:</strong> And it's waking you up first thing in the morning, isn't it?</p>
<p>[00:00:37] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Well, yeah, I've been having insomnia again, so like right when I go to sleep, then it feels like the birds are like, hello, all kinds. And I don't know what they're saying.</p>
<p>They're shouting all kinds of stuff. Speaking of nature, are you ready for today's episode? I'm never ready. Hello friends. Hello everybody. Today, we are talking about how we [00:01:00] grow and the bonsai tree. Are you ready? All right, here we go. So bonsai trees are intended to bring the core aspects of nature and there's three.</p>
<p>We have balance harmony. And simplicity. It's said that when we consider the natural flow of the environment, these three characteristics; balance, harmony and simplicity are always present. And if anything occurs to disrupt nature, it will always restore itself. You can take that however way. You know, we talk about how we're messing up the environment or big, so filthy, dirty, irresponsible, best believe nature will take care of itself.</p>
<p>The earth will still be here, but it doesn't mean whoever's polluting it will, right. I mean, it can be really, it can really smack you, but it will, [00:02:00] but isn't that the law. Everything that everything will restore itself.</p>
<p>[00:02:08] <strong>Matt:</strong> There is I think a natural harmonic balance to things, but that doesn't mean that that harmonic balance won't completely get flipped on its, butt supposedly and God knows it hasn't happened certainly in our lifetimes.</p>
<p>And it probably won't in subsequent lifetimes, but magnetic north sometimes flips to the south pole. Yes. What the heck? Well, that seems very out of bounds.</p>
<p>[00:02:32] <strong>Fawn:</strong> But things move right? You need to flip and move, but then there's no harmony, but isn't that the whole cycle of the circle, we talk about it with Aikido...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ Bonsai trees are intended to bring the core aspects of nature: balance harmony, and simplicity. It's said that when we consider the natural flow of the environment, these three characteristics, should anything occur to disrupt it (nature) will always restore itself. There is always a natural harmonic balance to things.
In looking at the trees and their scale, on so many levels we can realized how much bigger the trees are than manmade structures. And if you look at it, a tree (nature), is way, way, more massive than anything that we make.
The act of caring for bonsai trees is nurturing in its profound sense. And when giving from the heart, the giver benefits as much as the receiver. By bonding through nature, the Bonzai plant's meaning is enriched and it becomes our teacher. I thought that was beautiful. And it calls to friendship too; all relationships, by bonding, by bonds, things are enriched and it's a teaching moment. We teach each other. The more we provide and nurture for one, the other also reciprocate, not always in the sense that we expect, but it is going back to that circle. When you care, you are cared for. What you seek is seeking you.
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, we are here. So are the birds. Can you hear him?
[00:00:05] Matt: That's like a Yodel bird.
[00:00:06] Fawn: I know there are all kinds of wildlife outside
[00:00:12] Matt: and, but we actually have our windows open because it's actually not
[00:00:14] Fawn: boiling hot out. Right. I want to say there has been a moving a migration , if you will, of all kinds of wildlife coming to the tree right outside our window, because.
The food, the bird seeds, we have chosen. It's a whole new community out there. It's wild.
[00:00:34] Matt: And it's waking you up first thing in the morning, isn't it?
[00:00:37] Fawn: Well, yeah, I've been having insomnia again, so like right when I go to sleep, then it feels like the birds are like, hello, all kinds. And I don't know what they're saying.
They're shouting all kinds of stuff. Speaking of nature, are you ready for today's episode? I'm never ready. Hello friends. Hello everybody. Today, we are talking about how we [00:01:00] grow and the bonsai tree. Are you ready? All right, here we go. So bonsai trees are intended to bring the core aspects of nature and there's three.
We have balance harmony. And simplicity. It's said that when we consider the natural flow of the environment, these three characteristics; balance, harmony and simplicity are always present. And if anything occurs to disrupt nature, it will always restore itself. You can take that however way. You know, we talk about how we're messing up the environment or big, so filthy, dirty, irresponsible, best believe nature will take care of itself.
The earth will still be here, but it doesn't mean whoever's polluting it will, right. I mean, it can be really, it can really smack you, but it will, [00:02:00] but isn't that the law. Everything that everything will restore itself.
[00:02:08] Matt: There is I think a natural harmonic balance to things, but that doesn't mean that that harmonic balance won't completely get flipped on its, butt supposedly and God knows it hasn't happened certainly in our lifetimes.
And it probably won't in subsequent lifetimes, but magnetic north sometimes flips to the south pole. Yes. What the heck? Well, that seems very out of bounds.
[00:02:32] Fawn: But things move right? You need to flip and move, but then there's no harmony, but isn't that the whole cycle of the circle, we talk about it with Aikido...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Bonsai Tree - On Nature and How We Grow]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p> Bonsai trees are intended to bring the core aspects of nature: balance harmony, and simplicity. It's said that when we consider the natural flow of the environment, these three characteristics, should anything occur to disrupt it (nature) will always restore itself. There is always a natural harmonic balance to things.</p>
<p>In looking at the trees and their scale, on so many levels we can realized how much bigger the trees are than manmade structures. And if you look at it, a tree (nature), is way, way, more massive than anything that we make.</p>
<p>The act of caring for bonsai trees is nurturing in its profound sense. And when giving from the heart, the giver benefits as much as the receiver. By bonding through nature, the Bonzai plant's meaning is enriched and it becomes our teacher. I thought that was beautiful. And it calls to friendship too; all relationships, by bonding, by bonds, things are enriched and it's a teaching moment. We teach each other. The more we provide and nurture for one, the other also reciprocate, not always in the sense that we expect, but it is going back to that circle. When you care, you are cared for. What you seek is seeking you.</p>
<p> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Hello, we are here. So are the birds. Can you hear him?</p>
<p>[00:00:05] <strong>Matt:</strong> That's like a Yodel bird.</p>
<p>[00:00:06] <strong>Fawn:</strong> I know there are all kinds of wildlife outside</p>
<p>[00:00:12] <strong>Matt:</strong> and, but we actually have our windows open because it's actually not</p>
<p>[00:00:14] <strong>Fawn:</strong> boiling hot out. Right. I want to say there has been a moving a migration , if you will, of all kinds of wildlife coming to the tree right outside our window, because.</p>
<p>The food, the bird seeds, we have chosen. It's a whole new community out there. It's wild.</p>
<p>[00:00:34] <strong>Matt:</strong> And it's waking you up first thing in the morning, isn't it?</p>
<p>[00:00:37] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Well, yeah, I've been having insomnia again, so like right when I go to sleep, then it feels like the birds are like, hello, all kinds. And I don't know what they're saying.</p>
<p>They're shouting all kinds of stuff. Speaking of nature, are you ready for today's episode? I'm never ready. Hello friends. Hello everybody. Today, we are talking about how we [00:01:00] grow and the bonsai tree. Are you ready? All right, here we go. So bonsai trees are intended to bring the core aspects of nature and there's three.</p>
<p>We have balance harmony. And simplicity. It's said that when we consider the natural flow of the environment, these three characteristics; balance, harmony and simplicity are always present. And if anything occurs to disrupt nature, it will always restore itself. You can take that however way. You know, we talk about how we're messing up the environment or big, so filthy, dirty, irresponsible, best believe nature will take care of itself.</p>
<p>The earth will still be here, but it doesn't mean whoever's polluting it will, right. I mean, it can be really, it can really smack you, but it will, [00:02:00] but isn't that the law. Everything that everything will restore itself.</p>
<p>[00:02:08] <strong>Matt:</strong> There is I think a natural harmonic balance to things, but that doesn't mean that that harmonic balance won't completely get flipped on its, butt supposedly and God knows it hasn't happened certainly in our lifetimes.</p>
<p>And it probably won't in subsequent lifetimes, but magnetic north sometimes flips to the south pole. Yes. What the heck? Well, that seems very out of bounds.</p>
<p>[00:02:32] <strong>Fawn:</strong> But things move right? You need to flip and move, but then there's no harmony, but isn't that the whole cycle of the circle, we talk about it with Aikido it's a circle, right?</p>
<p>So the north turning into the south of south turning into the north, wouldn't that be part of that circular pattern? Why are you quiet? Why are you looking at me like that? Did I get you? Yeah, I got you. [00:03:00] So let me go on with what I was saying.</p>
<p>So things will restore themselves. Everything will restore itself. Everything will restore itself. Now, when we're going through the thick of things does not seem that way, especially when we're in the middle of it. Right. Depending on if you're feeling pessimistic or not, it may feel like when the bad things, are happening, it's not good or bad, but it feels bad to us.</p>
<p>Or like when we're experiencing the challenge of things, it feels like that will be the way it is FOREVER. If you look at things pessimistically, it feels like whatever's happening will be static. And it's just going to be that way forever. But if you're more optimistic, you know, that nothing lasts forever.</p>
<p>That there's always a change. Things always evolve. [00:04:00] Things always restore themselves. I know you want to say something. Can you hold your thought? Okay. Yeah, no. Do you want to go ahead?</p>
<p>[00:04:09] <strong>Matt:</strong> I'm still</p>
<p>[00:04:09] <strong>Fawn:</strong> formulating can you just note it down because you always say that I derail you and you don't get to say, say whatever you want to say.</p>
<p>So by all means, hold on to your thought. So what I'm talking about here is how trees in particular, because we're talking about the bonsai tree, they show the cycles of life trees show the cycles of life. That's their major lesson. Aside from the health lesson of, you know, they are a vital force that brings life, food, air, oxygen, the cleaning of the environment.</p>
<p>Right. And they're really powerful. Just the other day. I saw some footage of Chernobyl present day [00:05:00] and all these tress have overtaken the buildings that were evacuated. Have you seen that map? Nope. Take a look. It's on the internet. Well, I mean, you know, I think, I think it's true, but, it shows that truly nature cannot be destroyed, but it doesn't mean that we as human beings are not destroying each other.</p>
<p>But yeah, I saw these images. I hope they're real, but everything, you know, I just don't know anymore. You kind of have to go with your gut. You know how everyone had to evacuate their homes. Right, right. But nature it's like turning green and trees are just overtaking all these things.</p>
<p>Plants overtaking all these manmade structures. It's like nature is coming back. It's amazing. Right? It gives you hope that if we let it be, if we just [00:06:00] let it be and be open and open-hearted, we'll see the natural flow of things, the natural health of things to return. So I have a nugget of wisdom. From Santa Monica.</p>
<p>This one is brought to you by our friend in Santa Monica, who we have not spoken to in a very long time. But do you remember Marissa Marissa Hall? Yes, of course my neighbor. So one day she comes to me, she's like, oh my God. I just had a realization. I was looking at the trees outside</p>
<p>[00:06:33] <strong>Matt:</strong> I'm trying to think of which tree she's</p>
<p>[00:06:34] <strong>Fawn:</strong> probably talking about. She was talking about all the trees. She went on the roof and, and she was looking out from, do you know, I</p>
<p>[00:06:40] <strong>Matt:</strong> never went on the roof? No, I didn't even think about it.</p>
<p>[00:06:44] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Hmm. So, well, like you take the. You know, the fire escape, the stairs, we would go to, to put our trash in the shoot.</p>
<p>Like if you keep going up, like anyway, [00:07:00] so, so she was looking at the trees and she's like, oh, I just realized, like I was looking at the trees and I realized how much bigger the trees are than manmade structures. And if you look at them, they are way, way more massive than anything that we make. And it's funny.</p>
<p>Cause I was like, yeah, because I had that same thought too, but I had never expressed that out loud and Marissa did that day and I'm so glad she did because another thing she was expressing was that, these trees are witnesses to time and everything, all the happenings that have occurred. In the neighborhood, right?</p>
<p>Like they have been there. And I remember we used to go to, what was that place called? I can't, I can never pronounce it. Muir woods, Muir woods. Remember, and they would show us the [00:08:00] rings. They would have charts on the trail. Right. And it would show the rings and it would have dates on it like this ring predates, when Jesus Christ walked on the earth.</p>
<p>Right. So this tree is older and it's like, oh my God, this tree has been the witness of every crazy thing that humans have been up to. I don't</p>
<p>[00:08:23] <strong>Matt:</strong> know, humans have been pretty much crazy before JC,</p>
<p>[00:08:27] <strong>Fawn:</strong> but do you understand what I'm saying? I mean, that's a lot, that's a, that's a long time. There was a solemness</p>
<p>[00:08:33] <strong>Matt:</strong> to it, for sure.</p>
<p>[00:08:34] <strong>Fawn:</strong> For one tree to be looking at all this commotion. So going back to the bonsai tree, here is something that I've found from the meaning and benefits of a bonsai tree. And I got this from karma and luck.com and this is what they say. Caring for bonsai trees is nurturing and it's pro pull-out.</p>
<p>Let me start over.[00:09:00]</p>
<p>Caring, caring, caring for bonsai trees is nurturing in it's profound sense. And when giving from the heart, the giver benefits as much as the receiver. By bonding through nature, the Bonzai plant's meaning is enriched and it becomes our teacher. I thought that was beautiful. And it calls to friendship too; all relationships, by bonding, by bonds, things are enriched and it's a teaching moment. We teach each other. The more we provide and nurture for one, the other also reciprocates, not always in the sense that we expect, but it is going back to that circle. Whatever you take care, we'll take care of you.</p>
<p>[00:09:52] <strong>Matt:</strong> Right. Absolutely.</p>
<p>[00:09:53] <strong>Fawn:</strong> That's my take on the Bonzai. Now we started this conversation this morning because a [00:10:00] friend of ours brought up the bonsai tree.</p>
<p>Well, I brought up karate kid and I went to you. I'm like honey, because I wanted her to look at the movie. Cause they were, it was about the bonsai tree. I'm like, which one of the karate kids, the original ones, not the one with Jaden Smith, but like which one, which one was it where it was the bonsai tree.</p>
<p>And they, they had to go. Th w it revolved around the bonsai tree, that particular one. And you said it was number three. It was number three. And then you said don't no, no, no, no. Don't have her watch that one. So explain.</p>
<p>[00:10:37] <strong>Matt:</strong> So "Karate Kid I" with, you know, Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita and yeah. Nice. Simple. Kind of pre-adolescent adolescent type movie, very simple, very kind of nice romantic aspect, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</p>
<p>Number two, kind of continue. The theme took us to Japan. It was kind of nice. [00:11:00] Then number three hits number three. Yes, it does have that romance. There is a romance going on, but it isn't really a romance and the story is</p>
<p>[00:11:08] <strong>Fawn:</strong> messed up. It's kind of like toy story. The, the one that was all weird. I don't watch toy story movies.</p>
<p>I can't it's too. It's not Fawn friendly for me. But it's kind of like that, right? It gets, I mean, it gets really</p>
<p>[00:11:21] <strong>Matt:</strong> dark. It gets really dark. And, if you're in the wrong head space and you watch it, you can get taken to a very challenging place. Now you look at the movie itself and if you're like in a good mood, et cetera, et cetera, everything's cool.</p>
<p>No problem. Um, fairly enjoyable. It's a much better story, honestly, then. And even the next karate kid and even the Jaden Smith karate kid, and even, even Cobra, Kai, I'll even say that, oh my God. Anyways. Um, not that I'm a huge "Karate Kid" fanatic or anything. Dope. My secrets out anyways. No, it's just the movies.</p>
<p>Movies are much darker and you know, pat Morita is [00:12:00] always Mr. Miyagi's always taking care of ponds eyes and they start, you know, Mr. Miyagi's a little trees, little company that they start and everything, but yeah,</p>
<p>[00:12:08] <strong>Fawn:</strong> go, go to the whole point. So I don't remember much about it, but doesn't. Steal the Bonzai.</p>
<p>Well,</p>
<p>[00:12:17] <strong>Matt:</strong> okay. So the bad guys, blah, blah, blah, do bad things to the business. They don't have any money then Daniel's like, I can sell this because it's an original Bonzai, whatever the heck that is. I don't even know if that's a thing.</p>
<p>[00:12:29] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Yeah, no. It came from like the original source, whatever,</p>
<p>[00:12:33] <strong>Matt:</strong> whatever that means.</p>
<p>And this could be fantasy and this could be reality. I don't know.</p>
<p>[00:12:36] <strong>Fawn:</strong> It just explained it for friends who have not watched the "Karate Kid"</p>
<p>[00:12:40] <strong>Matt:</strong> stuff. Well, this is one of the things Pat Morita, Mr. Miyagi originally teaches Daniel, which is, bonsai trees teach again the things you mentioned, balance harmony simplicity.</p>
<p>It's, it's about visualization. It's about a bunch of other things. And so you take this tree and like you use wires and you use Clippers and you cut it and shape it [00:13:00] into the desired. And if your heart is pure, then you see the tree for what it's supposed to be, and you can make it become that, which is a little sinister.</p>
<p>If you think</p>
<p>[00:13:11] <strong>Fawn:</strong> about it, it's very egotistical. Once again, the patriarchy comes in and tries to take mother nature and I'm getting angry. So here comes the man taking nature with all of its beauty and grace and wisdom,</p>
<p>[00:13:28] <strong>Matt:</strong> power</p>
<p>[00:13:28] <strong>Fawn:</strong> thinking. I'm just going to take some wire and twist you into the shape I want you to be</p>
<p>[00:13:35] <strong>Matt:</strong> Yeah, and then I got to cut you too, but yes.</p>
<p>Yeah, it's really messed up. It's a reasonably violent activity and not tremendously dissimilar from, and</p>
<p>[00:13:44] <strong>Fawn:</strong> yet it's seen as so peaceful.</p>
<p>[00:13:46] <strong>Matt:</strong> Well, yes, well, there's, there's an undercurrent that I think is very comfortable for people to ignore that kind of runs through dare I say Japanese society,</p>
<p>[00:13:55] <strong>Fawn:</strong> but it, it, it started from Chinese.</p>
<p>The Bonzai originally came from [00:14:00] China, right? The bonsai tree.</p>
<p>[00:14:02] <strong>Matt:</strong> I don't think there's as much of an undercurrent in China as there is in Japan of just difference if you will, or, you know, um, I don't know, what's a word for it, but like they made these amazing swords, folded them over 500 times, Japan, Japan in Japan.</p>
<p>And in order to make sure your sword was any good, you gave it to somebody who killed somebody with it. (Sarcastically said) Brilliant. I, and the same way you look at it, you look at bonsai and if you know, it came from China. So does it come from the same school of thought that said, women have to have their feet bound. So they're nice and tiny and fit and tiny shoes, regardless of whether or not they can walk and seem similar</p>
<p>[00:14:47] <strong>Fawn:</strong> enough, doesn't it?</p>
<p>I think we're going to destroy the whole concept of the beautiful bonsai tree for everybody. Well, well, but you know what? That's what we do at our kitchen table. Isn't it?</p>
<p>[00:14:58] <strong>Matt:</strong> Well, we, we, we certainly take a hard look [00:15:00] at things for</p>
<p>[00:15:00] <strong>Fawn:</strong> sure. Yeah. Where does that really come from? What does it really mean? This simple gesture that we are not really thinking of too deeply?</p>
<p>Like where did it really come from? What does it really mean? Yeah, you're right. The binding and the binding of the female form. I mean, from shoes, feet to corsets lungs, like my God, right. Bra. I mean, I appreciate the bra. I sorry, but, but I do, you know, it's all binding. How are we going to bind this particular life force, right.</p>
<p>To the way we want it to be. And it's not just how women are treated. It's how we treat our own lives. How are we binding our own selves? Are our hearts bound. Because we aspire for a particular way. And that way it could be something society [00:16:00] expects of us, not what your true heart is supposed to be. What your true heart, your true spirit is supposed to grow into.</p>
<p>[00:16:08] <strong>Matt:</strong> Exactly because it doesn't fit. It doesn't, it isn't acceptable. It's not a comfortable place to go.</p>
<p>[00:16:16] <strong>Fawn:</strong> And God forbid like you get Unbound. Then you're seen as</p>
<p>[00:16:22] <strong>Matt:</strong> you better find yourself, some like-minded individuals quickly, otherwise you're going to feel very isolated. Oh my</p>
<p>[00:16:27] <strong>Fawn:</strong> God. Yeah. You get talked about, you get ridiculed, like, Ooh, God forbid you grow your hair this way naturally, or to all my sisters and brothers out there, you know, like, oh my goodness.</p>
<p>To the way we think. God forbid, you're going to go over here and have your own free thoughts and explore something that's different from what most people are talking about.</p>
<p>[00:16:53] <strong>Matt:</strong> And the only way you can make it acceptable, if you continue down that path is by making lots of money. That becomes [00:17:00] literally the only way that that becomes then acceptable inside of society.</p>
<p>Right.</p>
<p>[00:17:05] <strong>Fawn:</strong> That's yeah. So basically if you abide. Then you will be successful in these ways. You'll have the relationships you want. You will have the money you want. You will have the house, you want the neighborhood you want</p>
<p>[00:17:21] <strong>Matt:</strong> respect. You want,</p>
<p>[00:17:23] <strong>Fawn:</strong> if you fit, if you fit within that binding curriculum. Right. But if you don't.</p>
<p>Then you got to totally create your own thing, right. Your own community.</p>
<p>[00:17:35] <strong>Matt:</strong> Right? Right. Exactly. And you have to almost be hyper aggressive when you're out in the quote unquote, real world, because people are gonna come at you and question it and look at you and judge you and all the rest of it. For sure. So I</p>
<p>[00:17:48] <strong>Fawn:</strong> feel like I cut you off.</p>
<p>So you were talking about how we manipulate the bonsai tree. I feel like we totally went off. On a, on a tangent, which is actually a very [00:18:00] important topic. I'm glad we did, but yeah, you're right. It is the binding and it's quite violent. It</p>
<p>[00:18:06] <strong>Matt:</strong> can be for sure. And, and, you know, um, if you want to say plants feel, I can't imagine that pleased with that.</p>
<p>[00:18:13] <strong>Fawn:</strong> They do feel, remember we have this book, I got this book like 30 years ago. No, maybe less than that. Sorry. I exaggerate, I think it's called "The Secret Life of Cells" . It talks about the scientist was I had plants in his, in his apartment.</p>
<p> And this was way back when, so he decided to hookup the, what do you call them? Electrodes the little wires to the plants, to his lie detecting machine. One day by accident, he spilled boiling, hot water up, uh, and it spilled on a plant on one of the plants and the plant that had the wires connected to it, to the lie detecting machine.</p>
<p>[00:19:00] It went nuts. So the plant bore witness to what happened, right? Bore witness. Am I saying that right? So the plant saw what happened it was, it fell to the other plant getting hurt and it, the, you know, how the drawings go up and down really high,</p>
<p>[00:19:19] <strong>Matt:</strong> right. When someone's telling you a lie, it's basically a heightened, emotional state is what they're</p>
<p>[00:19:23] <strong>Fawn:</strong> checking.</p>
<p>So the plant had a severely heightened emotional state. And so he noticed that. So what he did was he said, okay, I'm going to do it again. But, but in the book it said, but I was, I didn't, I was not going to actually do it because I don't want to inflict harm on the plant. But what he did was he took another pot of boiling water, had the plants still attached to the lie detecting machine thing.</p>
<p>And then he took another plant to be presented in front of the plant. That's connected to the detecting machine. Right. [00:20:00] And he went to pour the boiling water on this plant, knowing he wasn't going to actually go through with it. But he was just going to go through all the gestures, like make it look like he is in fact, going to pour more boiling water on.</p>
<p>And this time the plant had no reaction and he thought that's weird. So he looked into it long story short guys, read the book, but long story short, the plant knew his intention. I mean that's wild. So he really got into the whole concept of how we can feel each other. He continued this whole experiment on so many levels.</p>
<p>Like, um, you know, how dogs can sense if something's wrong or they can sense you coming home. Long before you actually get there. Like they know you're where you are. Do you know what I mean? They pace back and forth. Right. And so he's logging this plant. He's logging the [00:21:00] time. He's logging when this plant has emotions, heightened emotions, flat emotions, all of this.</p>
<p>One day he gets into a uh,fender bender out there in the world, he gets into a car accident. he noted the time. Of course, he came home and he looked at the paperwork for the lie detecting machine. That's connected to the plant and he saw that this plant had a high emotion at that same time.</p>
<p>This plant was bonded with this man and this plant could sense him out there in the world, outside of here.</p>
<p>[00:21:36] <strong>Matt:</strong> Which is interesting for sure. And they do talk about things like twins, being aware of what happens with the other twin and things like that. And sometimes like you just get a feeling of, and yeah, sometimes it seems like nine times out of 10, you're wacky for having it.</p>
<p>But that one time out of 10, something, something weird. Well,</p>
<p>[00:21:55] <strong>Fawn:</strong> because we're always looking for fact-based proof, right? We're looking for [00:22:00] evidence and sometimes. It may not show up the way we think, you know, so, and I bet you more times than not. It does show up to say, Hey, this is what happened, but we're not aware of the signs.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean? We're not aware of the proof, right? Because we're so busy, we're so busy and we're so preoccupied. Our focus is scattered right now. We don't see that. Anyways, this is getting too esoteric, whatever, but it's true. This is real world. I, from my perspective, what do you think?</p>
<p>[00:22:40] <strong>Matt:</strong> Come we come.</p>
<p>It's almost like we come straight back to visualization in my mind. You know, uh, what you see happens, what you look for is, you know, if you go looking for heaven or you go looking for hell, you will find it. I think that's a very true saying. Setting intention. I think it's about being open for</p>
<p>[00:22:58] <strong>Fawn:</strong> sure. Okay.</p>
<p>I [00:23:00] understand what you're saying, but it also sounds like we can make this stuff up, but that's reality that this is like, this is for real, this stuff happens. We are connected like that. Do you know what I mean? It's not it doesn't, it's not about you visualizing it to happen. This is how life is.</p>
<p>[00:23:20] <strong>Matt:</strong> Sometimes it can be, I think, confusing and complicated. And sometimes I think you don't necessarily visualize, it's not putting your will against the universes. It's about being receptive to the good, which it is, which is slightly different.</p>
<p> It seems like we'd taken it to a dark place, so we need to take it back to a circular place and get away from bonzais.</p>
<p>[00:23:44] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Why? No, the whole concept of is the Bonzai. That's the example. So</p>
<p>[00:23:49] <strong>Matt:</strong> how I just thrashed we've thrashed the poor little bonsai,</p>
<p>[00:23:54] <strong>Fawn:</strong> but it's true. So you want to just ignore it and go to another topic?</p>
<p>[00:24:00] Mother nature. We've thrashed women in our society. You want to just ignore that? I don't know if</p>
<p>[00:24:04] <strong>Matt:</strong> we thrash mother nature inside of this particular episode, and I don't think we've thrashed women in this poor</p>
<p>[00:24:09] <strong>Fawn:</strong> episode, not us in this episode, but I'm talking about in our world. I know, but I'm trying</p>
<p>[00:24:15] <strong>Matt:</strong> to keep the context inside of the</p>
<p>[00:24:16] <strong>Fawn:</strong> episode.</p>
<p>Okay. Well, that's, that's my context is what do we do? This is how we've treated things. This is how we've treated them. The world that this is how we've treated nature. This is how we have treated our relationships. So where do we go from here now that we've like seen, okay. Wow. Am I binding you with Clippers and clipping you and cutting you and making you like twist and turn this way.</p>
<p>So you're more aesthetically pleasing. What do we do when we realize? Wow. Okay. What do we do? So let's get back to that karate kid thing. So, okay. So Daniel steals the plant. He does little</p>
<p>[00:24:56] <strong>Matt:</strong> fiend</p>
<p>[00:24:56] <strong>Fawn:</strong> from where it was. He clips</p>
<p>[00:24:59] <strong>Matt:</strong> it it's, [00:25:00] it actually, it's an awesome place. God knows where it was, but it was like right next to the ocean and it was this big kind of a cliff, but it was a tunnel down.</p>
<p>And like, it was like, it was like a big hole, basically that went all the way down to water</p>
<p>[00:25:14] <strong>Fawn:</strong> and it's like, and here grows his bonsai tree. It was planted.</p>
<p>[00:25:19] <strong>Matt:</strong> It was planted there originally. Well, this was Mr. Miyagi, special tree for him from his house. So he planted it there to the, let it grow naturally. Right.</p>
<p>[00:25:28] <strong>Fawn:</strong> And so here comes Daniel. He, he clips it. He takes it. Well, he takes a yes, so they can sell it so they</p>
<p>[00:25:34] <strong>Matt:</strong> can make money. He can sell it and he can give Mr.</p>
<p>[00:25:37] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Miyagi the money. And he thought Mr. Miyagi would be like, oh my God, thank you. Save my business. And what did Mr. Miyagi do? You don't really remember.</p>
<p>[00:25:45] <strong>Matt:</strong> Okay.</p>
<p>So he got pissed. And he was like, you got to put it back. But unfortunately, in the process of him, getting the tree and bringing it to the little shop that they had, and he was going to show it to him, then he gets attacked by the bad guys. And the bad guy shred the tree a [00:26:00] little more than a little.</p>
<p>And so it was unsellable anyways, but yeah, that's what that's what bad guys do they kind of, yeah, ruin the, they can ruin the protagonist story. They</p>
<p>[00:26:09] <strong>Fawn:</strong> killed them. The life</p>
<p>[00:26:11] <strong>Matt:</strong> force. No, they, they, they certainly interrupt your plans. Right.</p>
<p>[00:26:15] <strong>Fawn:</strong> So, so now here's the messed up Bonzai. And so what happens? Well, they mend it, they amend it, but then, so Mr.</p>
<p>Miyagi does what he says, Daniel, we got to put this thing back where it came from. Yes, absolutely. And can you explain what the theory was? How did he explain to Daniel that you have to let this grow on its own? There is a message we're missing here. What was the final message? Let it grow on its own.</p>
<p>[00:26:43] <strong>Matt:</strong> Yes, no, no, no, no. And that certainly was the message , that Mr. Miyagi was trying to teach Daniel that, at some point the tree is going to be the tree and you need to let it be and grow. And this was a quote, unquote, original bonzai and so it wasn't like wired and [00:27:00] twisted and everything else.</p>
<p>But the real message from the movie was something entirely different.</p>
<p>[00:27:04] <strong>Fawn:</strong> what was the message .</p>
<p>[00:27:05] <strong>Matt:</strong> It depends on who you are. The message I got from the movie was at, of course, ends at the karate tournament and Daniel's getting his little butt kicked because they brought in this bad boy, black belt and scored a point, lose a point, score a point, lose a point at win and final death was the plan.</p>
<p>So he would score a point and then he'd like, totally thrash. He'd do an illegal move and like tweak his knee, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And to me, the central point of the entire movie was when Dan was like, I'm afraid, I'm afraid. And Mr. Miyagi is like, it's just a fight. It's just a fight. And you can walk away.</p>
<p>It's about emotionally connecting to negativity and you don't have to do that. You can just walk away. If you're working at a job with a [00:28:00] boss who expects you to be there for 200 hours a week and you've got a bully, if you can remove the emotional connection from it, which is incredibly hard to do, and this is why it's good to have a good circle of friends and people who love you around you, who can be more objective.</p>
<p>Oftentimes if you can just remove yourself from the situation and look at it from an emotionless state, not emotionally connected, you realize you can just walk away. So when Daniels I got more afraid I'm afraid. And Mr. Miyagi is like, like, it's just a fight. That was him saying, you know, smacking him and saying, it's just a fight.</p>
<p>It's not a big deal. This isn't, this is not your life. This is just one tiny little portion. And if, if you lose, you lose it. Doesn't. Yeah. You know, you lose, you lose a fight so what who cares. It's not like the end of your life.</p>
<p>[00:28:54] <strong>Fawn:</strong> So true. I remember Holly being on the phone with me when I got fired from a job.</p>
<p>And [00:29:00] I remember calling her from the job and I told her what had just happened. Right. And she sounded so happy and started clapping and saying, yay. And I got mad at her. Like, what are you doing? Like why you're being really mean? I just lost my job. Right. And she's like, your job is not you this in the grand scheme of things, this job is not important.</p>
<p>[00:29:27] <strong>Matt:</strong> Oh, do we need to call her Holly Miyagi? Oh,</p>
<p>[00:29:30] <strong>Fawn:</strong> she is. He is very wise. Like Holly, I swear. Like she's a talented photographer. She's like the most talented if she wanted to be therapist. So, but, but when she was trying to tell me while I was crying, hysterically was, this is not you.</p>
<p>This is only a tiny little tiny, nothing in the grand scheme of your life. These people being mean to you, this job being mean to you, them firing [00:30:00] you. You're so much bigger than that. You're so much bigger than these things. This is not the whole grand meaning of life. Just like how you described Miyagi, talking to him about this is just a fight</p>
<p>[00:30:16] <strong>Matt:</strong> it's about where you choose to spend your emotional currency, because you've only got so much.</p>
<p>[00:30:22] <strong>Fawn:</strong> That's exactly how I felt during the SATs. I studied years to have high scores on the SAT and I sat there, I wrote my name and they tell you, you, you automatically get certain points writing your name. I'm like, okay.</p>
<p>I wrote my name. And then all of a sudden I started looking around. And it didn't do the test. I sat there for a long time, too, just watching people and watching the stress and the intensity everyone had their number too pencils and filling the little bubbles as quickly as possible. Absolutely. I was just watching them.[00:31:00]</p>
<p>I'm like, this is not me. This is not my way. And then I just, and then I continued to just color. Cause I liked to color. I just colored BC, BC, BC, all the way down the test got up, turned the test in and walked away. I never looked back, but I also realized where I was headed the essay SATs didn't matter for me, you know, uh, the schools that I was going towards didn't care about the sat.</p>
<p>Right. I get it. That's a really good lesson. Thanks honey. But going back to the bonzai</p>
<p>and so going back to nature, letting things be. Realizing having the wisdom, the foresight to see that what you think is fragile is the most wisest, strongest, most powerful force</p>
<p>[00:31:50] <strong>Matt:</strong> can be.</p>
<p>[00:31:52] <strong>Fawn:</strong> And so let it be</p>
<p>[00:31:53] <strong>Matt:</strong> right. Yeah, we can certainly go right back to the parable of the Willow and the bamboo, right?</p>
<p>The Willow stands [00:32:00] against the storm and the bamboo bends. So once the storm gets bad enough, the Willow breaks and the bamboo still bends. Right. And of course, bamboo reproduces like a mofo. So it's everywhere anyway. And</p>
<p>[00:32:12] <strong>Fawn:</strong> For thousands of years, that's exactly what has been said. And now the kitschy term for it is resilient.</p>
<p>But that's it. It's basically the same thing. Now, all these people are saying resilience, this resilience that let me teach you my course on resilience. I would say</p>
<p>[00:32:30] <strong>Matt:</strong> the resilience is how to be the Willow who gets broken and then fixes itself. It's not about the bamboo resilience to me is this is what you do when you get broken.</p>
<p>This is how to keep yourself from getting broken. Well, yeah, because you don't bend</p>
<p>[00:32:47] <strong>Fawn:</strong> into. Nope. Well, what I learned from the practice of resilience was before the whole resilience thing came into pop culture. I actually understood it best from Joe Dispenza [00:33:00] and Gregg Braden is when they were talking about centenarian, men and women who live over a hundred years, over a hundred years and they watch their friends die, they watch wars, they watch some terrible stuff that happened, right.</p>
<p>But what makes them so quote unquote resilient it's because they just sway. They just go with it. They don't, you know what I mean? Keep with the flow. And to me, that's the bamboo they bend, but I</p>
<p>[00:33:29] <strong>Matt:</strong> hold her Harlan Ellison view on the whole Centennial centenarian whatever you want to call it. Well, he says that, uh, people who typically live the longest are.</p>
<p>Arrogant egotistical pricks.</p>
<p>[00:33:42] <strong>Fawn:</strong> See,</p>
<p>[00:33:44] <strong>Matt:</strong> who have an incredibly, who are incredibly vain, who are incredibly selfish, who are incredibly greedy, perhaps that's because they have a very strong sense of self. Now, of course, this is very attractive to Harlan Ellison. Cause he was kind of that way too. I was</p>
<p>[00:33:58] <strong>Fawn:</strong> going to say, is he describing [00:34:00] himself well, but</p>
<p>[00:34:01] <strong>Matt:</strong> that's just it, there are things like, um, One of the books.</p>
<p>I read had a picture of him and his entire class. Right. And he was always the shortest, et cetera, et cetera. But he was the one in the picture with his hands on his hips, just kind of glaring daring, the camera to take his picture. And everybody else was all demure and everything else. You know, he was, he was not a shrinking violet.</p>
<p>That's cool. And he had a very strong sense of itself, which you would have to in order to he, he's a professional writer. He wrote the greatest star Trek episode ever, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, very prolific. That's not a business you can get into, unless you are a pretty confident person.</p>
<p>It's really hard, I think, to succeed as a professional writer,</p>
<p>[00:34:46] <strong>Fawn:</strong> but you know what, just going back to the lessons of the tree, right? It's, it's all about the cycles of. And the, the one that bends the bamboo, is it a weed or a tree? [00:35:00] Whatever it's from nature. It bends, right? That's just one take on that's like saying rich people are all are all a-holes, that's just your own stupid perception of what abundance and wealth is, and that can get in the way of things. So you can say to yourself, oh, well only really like the, the gross people with the gross personalities are able to be resilient. So therefore I'm not going to be like that. That's a very dangerous way to look at it. That's his perception of himself.</p>
<p>And he's putting that out there in the world and saying the ones who are resilient, this is their core characteristic. And it's not</p>
<p>[00:35:47] <strong>Matt:</strong> no, well, I honestly think, okay. Allow me to now reframe or rephase because I, you know, I kind of chose to be a little incendiary. No, I think he's passed. Okay. Um, [00:36:00] but honestly, I think I want to say the key to everything.</p>
<p>And Toto is the inner Popeye really have a clear under, and I'm not supposed to say inner Popeye,</p>
<p>[00:36:14] <strong>Fawn:</strong> you know what no, I say he's not supposed to say it because it's hard to edit</p>
<p>[00:36:17] <strong>Matt:</strong> that is having a very clear understanding of who you are and being comfortable inside.</p>
<p>[00:36:24] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Babe. Can you just write your book on the inner Popeye?</p>
<p>I already, should we just take all the episodes, which is all like 60 something of them and just transcribe all the inner Popeye metaphors. You have and viola, we have a book. No, no,</p>
<p>[00:36:40] <strong>Matt:</strong> no. It's a good lesson. I know. But what I'm saying is understanding. Being who you are and having a very clear understanding of who you are and not allowing that perception, that reality, honestly, of who you are to be clouded or changed by the world.</p>
<p>[00:37:00] And that's gotta be incredibly difficult, you know, because, because my way of dealing with the world and still maintaining my sense of self is to hide is to.</p>
<p>[00:37:10] <strong>Fawn:</strong> I mean one way to get around it is not to pay attention to the rest of the world and just do your work. Yes. But, but then if you have to make money and you have to interact with people, it's a problem.</p>
<p>You see? Yeah. It's a problem. Like usually where I am.</p>
<p>[00:37:26] <strong>Matt:</strong> So you just gotta be the chameleon like me,</p>
<p>[00:37:28] <strong>Fawn:</strong> we got to find our tribe. And this is why we're having this whole podcast is this</p>
<p>[00:37:34] <strong>Matt:</strong> is our tribe. So I would say that, you know, things like. Yeah. Uh, Harlan Ellison saying being arrogant, egotistical fits for him because that's kind of his, where he was at.</p>
<p>He was very strong in that and very, just, yeah.</p>
<p>[00:37:48] <strong>Fawn:</strong> You know what? That's a very patriarchal way. And I feel like that's the old way. I think the new ways to not be like a rigid a hole, [00:38:00] but be a wise female abundant nurturing open-hearted being, which is going back to nature, which is going back to that force that we described at the beginning of the podcast, which is nature the tree with all the lessons and all the fruits for survival.</p>
<p>That is what we need to embrace, rather than that, rather than the old patriarchal, sword wielding yielding. What's the word yielding or wielding, wielding sword wielding thing, and I'm not trying to be extra hippy about it, but I'm saying that never underestimate the power of a man. Yes, but never underestimate the power of the woman.</p>
<p>Never under estimate the power of nature. [00:39:00] Never underestimate the power of your own soul, your own spirit, never underestimate the power that you may not see.</p>
<p>[00:39:12] <strong>Matt:</strong> I don't think that's in any way in conflict with what I just said. Believe it or not. It</p>
<p>[00:39:17] <strong>Fawn:</strong> just feels very male. It</p>
<p>[00:39:18] <strong>Matt:</strong> does. But welcome to the world. I am</p>
<p>[00:39:20] <strong>Fawn:</strong> male.</p>
<p>Okay. I honor you. I see you. I see you, man. I just would like to. Bring about my side, as well as your strong masculine side. And I want arise and say, yo, pay attention to me because there needs to be that balance, going back to balance harmony simplicity. It's not a big deal. We can have a conversation about this and argue for eons, but really together we have balance harmony simplicity, and let's not , over think it.</p>
<p> I'm asking you to pay attention to the wise woman.</p>
<p>[00:39:59] <strong>Matt:</strong> [00:40:00] Of course.</p>
<p>[00:40:01] <strong>Fawn:</strong> All right. And I'm not saying I'm the wise woman, which I am, I am, I am the wise woman and not saying, but I'm, I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm saying let's give praise to both sides. I mean, our whole logo is that it's the earth, right?</p>
<p>It's a yin yang symbol, but it's really the globe. Balance, of course. Okay. Why are you looking at me like that?</p>
<p>Well, that's all I have to say. Okay. This is how we grow. Can we bring it back before we close up with a pretty little bow on it? So I said, how we grow? This is how we grow is by letting nature be. Letting your body look however way it wants to, in a healthy feeling way. Let your hair grow the way it's intended to. Stop looking like everybody else.</p>
<p> Become the force. Go with that. Go with the [00:41:00] river. Go with the flow.</p>
<p>[00:41:01] <strong>Matt:</strong> Right, right. But of course, the first thing you need to do is you need to understand the flow. You need to understand where you're at. You need to understand how you grow and how to grow even in a world that maybe doesn't want you to. Growing in harmony</p>
<p>[00:41:18] <strong>Fawn:</strong> with yourself.</p>
<p>And usually if you're any kind of a creative type, the world does not want you to grow. They want you to be molded a certain way. This is the reason why they're home. There are so many homeschoolers now is because we're seeing wow, the old way is not working. Folks. Stop trying to mold things a certain way.</p>
<p> Let's let nature be and see the profoundness of it and nurture that. And that will in turn, nurture everything else. It will have our society grow in the most beautiful way that we can't even imagine with our little selves right here. Indeed. [00:42:00] So that's, that's what I have to say. Should we wrap it up?</p>
<p>Do you wanna put a little pretty</p>
<p>[00:42:04] <strong>Matt:</strong> bow on it? Yeah. Throw down all the wisdom and now you're like, okay, one more thing. One more thing.</p>
<p>[00:42:09] <strong>Fawn:</strong> One more thing. I would like a big box of chocolates and I want every piece of chocolate to be delicious. Bite and put back. So yeah, I want more chocolate and Tiramisu. I want to Tiramisu</p>
<p>[00:42:23] <strong>Matt:</strong> pay attention, pay attention to yourself, pay attention to how others perceive you and pay attention to the ways that you feel you feel is right to grow, but pay attention</p>
<p>[00:42:38] <strong>Fawn:</strong> to her name, go with your own natural way. What is natural? Cause that is nature. That is the profoundness of how the plan is how that little acorn nut grows into this fabulous tree.</p>
<p>All right, guys, why are you looking at me like that?</p>
<p>[00:42:57] <strong>Matt:</strong> Because you're taking the last word and you're going to do it again. [00:43:00]</p>
<p>[00:43:01] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Sorry, man. I am so sorry to like step on the patriarch.</p>
<p>[00:43:08] <strong>Matt:</strong> Can you wrap it up in a pretty little bow? Wait, no, I'm going to add something to the end.</p>
<p>[00:43:13] <strong>Fawn:</strong> All right. Repeat what you said. No poor baby.</p>
<p>[00:43:18] <strong>Matt:</strong> I'm fine, actually.</p>
<p>[00:43:20] <strong>Fawn:</strong> All right. I didn't hurt your sweet little ego.</p>
<p>[00:43:25] <strong>Matt:</strong> My ego is far too big to be injured.</p>
<p>[00:43:28] <strong>Fawn:</strong> Okay. Good. Good Lord men. Love you. All right. I'm just kidding. I'm</p>
<p>[00:43:35] <strong>Matt:</strong> just kidding. You love</p>
<p>[00:43:36] <strong>Fawn:</strong> me. No, I love you. Thank you friends for listening. Sorry about the fight. Um, all right, we'll talk to you in a few days.</p>
<p>Love you guys. Take care. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute, hold up, hold up. Please. Help us grow this thing. Leave a kind review on iTunes. Please tell people about this podcast. There are [00:44:00] amazing things that we're working on right now with friends around the world. There are things once we can all come together, financially health wise, in all ways, we have some amazing things that we're working on to build community around the world.</p>
<p>So please tell everyone about the podcast, sign up, download, please leave reviews write to us. Our friendly world.com or you can go to our friendly world podcast.com please. Okay, love you guys. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/The-Bonzai-Tree-FULL-EDIT.mp3" length="44943671"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ Bonsai trees are intended to bring the core aspects of nature: balance harmony, and simplicity. It's said that when we consider the natural flow of the environment, these three characteristics, should anything occur to disrupt it (nature) will always restore itself. There is always a natural harmonic balance to things.
In looking at the trees and their scale, on so many levels we can realized how much bigger the trees are than manmade structures. And if you look at it, a tree (nature), is way, way, more massive than anything that we make.
The act of caring for bonsai trees is nurturing in its profound sense. And when giving from the heart, the giver benefits as much as the receiver. By bonding through nature, the Bonzai plant's meaning is enriched and it becomes our teacher. I thought that was beautiful. And it calls to friendship too; all relationships, by bonding, by bonds, things are enriched and it's a teaching moment. We teach each other. The more we provide and nurture for one, the other also reciprocate, not always in the sense that we expect, but it is going back to that circle. When you care, you are cared for. What you seek is seeking you.
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, we are here. So are the birds. Can you hear him?
[00:00:05] Matt: That's like a Yodel bird.
[00:00:06] Fawn: I know there are all kinds of wildlife outside
[00:00:12] Matt: and, but we actually have our windows open because it's actually not
[00:00:14] Fawn: boiling hot out. Right. I want to say there has been a moving a migration , if you will, of all kinds of wildlife coming to the tree right outside our window, because.
The food, the bird seeds, we have chosen. It's a whole new community out there. It's wild.
[00:00:34] Matt: And it's waking you up first thing in the morning, isn't it?
[00:00:37] Fawn: Well, yeah, I've been having insomnia again, so like right when I go to sleep, then it feels like the birds are like, hello, all kinds. And I don't know what they're saying.
They're shouting all kinds of stuff. Speaking of nature, are you ready for today's episode? I'm never ready. Hello friends. Hello everybody. Today, we are talking about how we [00:01:00] grow and the bonsai tree. Are you ready? All right, here we go. So bonsai trees are intended to bring the core aspects of nature and there's three.
We have balance harmony. And simplicity. It's said that when we consider the natural flow of the environment, these three characteristics; balance, harmony and simplicity are always present. And if anything occurs to disrupt nature, it will always restore itself. You can take that however way. You know, we talk about how we're messing up the environment or big, so filthy, dirty, irresponsible, best believe nature will take care of itself.
The earth will still be here, but it doesn't mean whoever's polluting it will, right. I mean, it can be really, it can really smack you, but it will, [00:02:00] but isn't that the law. Everything that everything will restore itself.
[00:02:08] Matt: There is I think a natural harmonic balance to things, but that doesn't mean that that harmonic balance won't completely get flipped on its, butt supposedly and God knows it hasn't happened certainly in our lifetimes.
And it probably won't in subsequent lifetimes, but magnetic north sometimes flips to the south pole. Yes. What the heck? Well, that seems very out of bounds.
[00:02:32] Fawn: But things move right? You need to flip and move, but then there's no harmony, but isn't that the whole cycle of the circle, we talk about it with Aikido...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:46:48</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Ego Amo Te]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Aug 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/ego-amo-te</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/ego-amo-te</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>The English word ego is the Latin word for, “I”.  Literally translated, ego means "I". If you were to write, "I love you" in Latin, you would write "ego amo te"</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>It's interesting how people feel  the need of having that triumph over you. Why does that happen? It probably comes from some trauma where the person did not feel as important. So they have to really hold up that part of themselves to say, “I am important.” </strong></p>
<p><strong>Perhaps what we need is rituals in our society where when you do something (you accomplish something) that you have a party about it, like a ceremonial "yay. I did it!”</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] You who can help you? It's you and me, baby. Oh, yay. It's been awhile since goodness.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:08] Wait, wait. We've actually started. I thought we were doing another</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:12] . Oh dear. You ready? Do you have any idea what I'm going to bring up today? I think it could be ego. It could be it's ego, ego. Okay. Brought to you by our lovely sponsors.</p>
<p>We don't have any sponsors, but brought to you by some experience we had the last week.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:35] Oh dear. So I take it. We're just going to go for it then. Right. Well</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:38] kind of going to go for it without naming any names. All right. So today is people and their ego. All right. And you've had to deal with that because of your work situation.</p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:52] Okay. So it's my fundamental belief. I mean, as a, as a computer programmer, you know, we sit at a keyboard, we [00:01:00] type some random gibberish in and things happen and we build things that people use and people say, wow, this is great. Thank you so much. And people find bugs and make us feel bad. And then we fix the bugs and that makes us feel good.</p>
<p>Computer programmers are incredibly credible egomaniacs because we do this. We build for a living and we get all these strokes and we get all this other stuff.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:23] You know what everybody, every industry has that every industry has the ego everywhere you go. There is ego. And I have a theory about that. My theory is when people are not heard and they don't feel seen that's when things get out of hand with the ego.</p>
<p>Okay. Here's the atomology of ego that will actually bring some light to this. What I'm talking about? Ego.  The English word ego is the Latin word for, I literally translated ego means "I", if you were to write, "I [00:02:00] love you" in Latin, you would write "ego amo te"</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:08] god, that's very aside from the word ego, that's very similar to like Spanish.</p>
<p>So</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:12] some guesses and then where Spanish comes from. Hello, Latin. All right. So we, we, we, I don't know how to say this, but recently we came across a major ego.  And it was painful.  It took me a while to get over it. I had Tourette's in the shower. I was walking around the apartment, like just bursting things out loud.</p>
<p>Like I, I was initially so hurt. I felt spanked by this person. Right. And it was so we were trying to figure out what it was. And really, even though this person came across or appears out in the world as like, uh, a very [00:03:00] substantial, knowledgeable together kind of person, it was, I realized, wow, this person is in pain and they want to be heard.</p>
<p>And perhaps we didn't stroke the ego wanted or expected us to, because we're not an interview type body. This is a conversation we're not here to interview you...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The English word ego is the Latin word for, “I”.  Literally translated, ego means "I". If you were to write, "I love you" in Latin, you would write "ego amo te"
 
It's interesting how people feel  the need of having that triumph over you. Why does that happen? It probably comes from some trauma where the person did not feel as important. So they have to really hold up that part of themselves to say, “I am important.” 
Perhaps what we need is rituals in our society where when you do something (you accomplish something) that you have a party about it, like a ceremonial "yay. I did it!”
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] You who can help you? It's you and me, baby. Oh, yay. It's been awhile since goodness.
Matt: [00:00:08] Wait, wait. We've actually started. I thought we were doing another
Fawn: [00:00:12] . Oh dear. You ready? Do you have any idea what I'm going to bring up today? I think it could be ego. It could be it's ego, ego. Okay. Brought to you by our lovely sponsors.
We don't have any sponsors, but brought to you by some experience we had the last week.
Matt: [00:00:35] Oh dear. So I take it. We're just going to go for it then. Right. Well
Fawn: [00:00:38] kind of going to go for it without naming any names. All right. So today is people and their ego. All right. And you've had to deal with that because of your work situation.
Right?
Matt: [00:00:52] Okay. So it's my fundamental belief. I mean, as a, as a computer programmer, you know, we sit at a keyboard, we [00:01:00] type some random gibberish in and things happen and we build things that people use and people say, wow, this is great. Thank you so much. And people find bugs and make us feel bad. And then we fix the bugs and that makes us feel good.
Computer programmers are incredibly credible egomaniacs because we do this. We build for a living and we get all these strokes and we get all this other stuff.
Fawn: [00:01:23] You know what everybody, every industry has that every industry has the ego everywhere you go. There is ego. And I have a theory about that. My theory is when people are not heard and they don't feel seen that's when things get out of hand with the ego.
Okay. Here's the atomology of ego that will actually bring some light to this. What I'm talking about? Ego.  The English word ego is the Latin word for, I literally translated ego means "I", if you were to write, "I [00:02:00] love you" in Latin, you would write "ego amo te"
Matt: [00:02:08] god, that's very aside from the word ego, that's very similar to like Spanish.
So
Fawn: [00:02:12] some guesses and then where Spanish comes from. Hello, Latin. All right. So we, we, we, I don't know how to say this, but recently we came across a major ego.  And it was painful.  It took me a while to get over it. I had Tourette's in the shower. I was walking around the apartment, like just bursting things out loud.
Like I, I was initially so hurt. I felt spanked by this person. Right. And it was so we were trying to figure out what it was. And really, even though this person came across or appears out in the world as like, uh, a very [00:03:00] substantial, knowledgeable together kind of person, it was, I realized, wow, this person is in pain and they want to be heard.
And perhaps we didn't stroke the ego wanted or expected us to, because we're not an interview type body. This is a conversation we're not here to interview you...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Ego Amo Te]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>The English word ego is the Latin word for, “I”.  Literally translated, ego means "I". If you were to write, "I love you" in Latin, you would write "ego amo te"</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>It's interesting how people feel  the need of having that triumph over you. Why does that happen? It probably comes from some trauma where the person did not feel as important. So they have to really hold up that part of themselves to say, “I am important.” </strong></p>
<p><strong>Perhaps what we need is rituals in our society where when you do something (you accomplish something) that you have a party about it, like a ceremonial "yay. I did it!”</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] You who can help you? It's you and me, baby. Oh, yay. It's been awhile since goodness.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:08] Wait, wait. We've actually started. I thought we were doing another</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:12] . Oh dear. You ready? Do you have any idea what I'm going to bring up today? I think it could be ego. It could be it's ego, ego. Okay. Brought to you by our lovely sponsors.</p>
<p>We don't have any sponsors, but brought to you by some experience we had the last week.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:35] Oh dear. So I take it. We're just going to go for it then. Right. Well</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:38] kind of going to go for it without naming any names. All right. So today is people and their ego. All right. And you've had to deal with that because of your work situation.</p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:52] Okay. So it's my fundamental belief. I mean, as a, as a computer programmer, you know, we sit at a keyboard, we [00:01:00] type some random gibberish in and things happen and we build things that people use and people say, wow, this is great. Thank you so much. And people find bugs and make us feel bad. And then we fix the bugs and that makes us feel good.</p>
<p>Computer programmers are incredibly credible egomaniacs because we do this. We build for a living and we get all these strokes and we get all this other stuff.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:23] You know what everybody, every industry has that every industry has the ego everywhere you go. There is ego. And I have a theory about that. My theory is when people are not heard and they don't feel seen that's when things get out of hand with the ego.</p>
<p>Okay. Here's the atomology of ego that will actually bring some light to this. What I'm talking about? Ego.  The English word ego is the Latin word for, I literally translated ego means "I", if you were to write, "I [00:02:00] love you" in Latin, you would write "ego amo te"</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:08] god, that's very aside from the word ego, that's very similar to like Spanish.</p>
<p>So</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:12] some guesses and then where Spanish comes from. Hello, Latin. All right. So we, we, we, I don't know how to say this, but recently we came across a major ego.  And it was painful.  It took me a while to get over it. I had Tourette's in the shower. I was walking around the apartment, like just bursting things out loud.</p>
<p>Like I, I was initially so hurt. I felt spanked by this person. Right. And it was so we were trying to figure out what it was. And really, even though this person came across or appears out in the world as like, uh, a very [00:03:00] substantial, knowledgeable together kind of person, it was, I realized, wow, this person is in pain and they want to be heard.</p>
<p>And perhaps we didn't stroke the ego wanted or expected us to, because we're not an interview type body. This is a conversation we're not here to interview you like that. Right. We're here to have conversation person to person and see where it goes, human being to human being life experience, to life experience.</p>
<p>And so anyway, it just felt like it went awry. And we haven't aired this episode, but oh my God, it was, it was, it was something else. But I think it had to do with ego. And I think that this person, you know how sometimes we look at [00:04:00] people and I'm like, look at that, they're stuck on age, such and such. Oh yeah.</p>
<p>Right. You can look at someone and you can see no matter how old they are, you see a seven year old or a nine year old, whatever happened in life that really made an imprint whatever age that was, people tend to get stuck there and then live forever as that person at that age quote, unquote age. Right.</p>
<p>Right. I now looking back on it, this person, how old do you think they felt. Like nine, eight.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:36] This is the problem. Cause I always say I own my inner eight year old.</p>
<p>Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:40] But there is a difference here. This has to do, I think my personal opinion is it has to do with trauma, something wasn't met. Right. Do you know what I mean?</p>
<p>So they're forever. In that not knowing it consciously feeling the scarcity and living in that. And it becomes an [00:05:00] obnoxious eight or nine-year-old rather than a fun eight year old. What do</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:05] you think? Thank you, baby. For, for inferring, at least then I'm a happy eight year old.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:10] Yeah. I mean, that's what you are and that's what you say, right?</p>
<p>That's why it's fun. Cause he like, when you think of things we should do, it's the inner eight year old that brings up those ideas and we have fun with it. But how do you, cause I mean, I don't think I do this very well, like with this, with this person. I mean, I don't. It, it, it hurt me so much that it took me a while to even burst into tears.</p>
<p>I mean, I was so hurt by the way, this person lashed out at us. And I feel like in lashed out at me in particular, because I was the main culprit in his eyes as far as not giving  what this person needed. And I think it had to do with roles in who we [00:06:00] are as man woman. So, because I was the woman and I feel like I got the brunt of it.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean? I think there was some of that playing into some of that patriarchal stuff. Happening as well</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:14] at that, that's an easy, easy place to go for sure. I think it's easy to play that  but we don't really know what was going on inside of him.</p>
<p>And, and I felt like, you know, he took, he took vicious swipes at me to him or her. Oh, we don't know. They took their vicious swipes at</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:31] me. Yeah. But not as much as they took it at me at the end, my God. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:36] But you did a majority</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:37] of the talking. Well, that's what I do. And if you, if you can't hold your own, That's on you.</p>
<p>That's on you. Hi everyone. We're here to have a conversation. If you can't carry your conversation, then you should be comfortable with not saying as much. Don't put it on me. I'm not controlling your mouth and I'm not controlling your [00:07:00] brain. I have a, I have something to say. I'm going to say it. And it is just incredibly also.</p>
<p>Uh, touching to me that men in particular feel offended or someone that has more of a male ego about their personality feel so offended by me because I had a lot of opinions and I may not have all the degrees from, you know, the major universities in the world, but best believe I have experience and I've done my work.</p>
<p>So I know what I'm talking about. And I don't appreciate that patriarchal. Uh, see, I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:41] would've gotten paid,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:43] but how can you stand where they come? Oh, patronizing patronizing. Thank you. It comes from the patriarch Patri lair.</p>
<p>I think</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:57] that's a kind of tequila</p>
<p>[00:08:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:01] patronizing. That is so true. So, I mean, at the end of the podcast, this person lashed out and said, this is after they, they thought we were the coolest thing. They said, well, you're not, you're nothing but a podcast. You're nothing but a podcast. And you, you're not really doing anything in the world.</p>
<p>Bringing community together. That's what this person said to me, looking at me right there through the computer, looking at me. So here folks, friends out there, I mean, and all the countries listening to us, by the way, France, you are number one outside the United States, France is our biggest, biggest listener and Tunisia,</p>
<p>Egypt. We've got Australia. We have we're we're everywhere right now. And I want to thank [00:09:00] everyone, but here's my, here's my request of our friends out there. Please help us expand this community. I want to prove this person wrong. We are doing something. We're bringing them back conversation, which does not happen in our society right now. And even before all the strife, the past few years, people didn't really talk. And I think that's what created all the problems that we are having in the world and things are I've. It feels like things are just exploding everywhere, blowing up, and please help me prove this person wrong. We are a community, please.</p>
<p>Can you reach out to me? All you have to do is go to our website and send me an email.  I want to do something with that. We started to do before the pandemic, before the podcast, we were going neighborhoods to neighborhood, creating community through the arts, through just [00:10:00] seeing each other.</p>
<p>But it's just perfect actually the way things have worked out with a podcast, because I always wanted to start worldwide. Because of this podcast, that's how it's happened. And I want to create, I want to create the community worldwide for real now. So let's just start with emailing each other, emailing me.</p>
<p>First of all, I want to create something. If you have any ideas of your own, please let me know. It does not matter what country you're in. So go to our friendly world.com. You know, there's the, also the other one, our friendly world podcast.com. Just go to our friendly world.com and let's, let's prove this person wrong.</p>
<p>I think we are onto something here. We wouldn't have so many friends. We wouldn't be in the top percentage of podcasts around the world. If we weren't, [00:11:00] I'm a little, I feel a little bit heated. Let's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:02] circle back to how to deal with. Monster egos or even, you know, little baby</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:09] egos. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to turn to you most because I either cry or I'm like nuts to this "BYE" like, I can't deal with it.</p>
<p>Right. You can deal with it. And, uh, and really, because I think you have to,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:24] right. That is a part of it. And it's also the, also the other part of it is, uh, you know, I think that. In most of the friendships I have had there is that natural dynamic there always wants to be the alpha and the beta. And that's just kind of how it goes.</p>
<p>I don't know if that's typical in male friendships. I don't know if that's only typical in my friendships because they're all located in,  the Western United States. I don't know.  I will say that female friends,  the friends I have who are female, we don't get [00:12:00] into the ego thing. It's more about building each other up.</p>
<p>And again, I don't know happenstance, if that's just me or whatever. But that's when I encounter male on male dynamic, we're immediately sizing each other up. We're immediately figuring out who knows more, who is smarter, who is funnier, who makes more, who's more successful. Who's the whole kit.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:24] I think women do that too.</p>
<p>We do it differently, perhaps,  but best believe women size each other up, but I think it really has to do with how you're thinking and what you're incorporating into your personality. If you have more of like the, if you feel like the what now I forgot the word, the patriarchy. Thank you. If you feel like you, you see how the patriarchy rules everything in our society, then you think, well, I'll be more like a man.</p>
<p> And you start behaving [00:13:00] towards the characteristics that a man tends to have, and you start acting like a man as a woman. Like I see it in business. I try to do it in business. I have been for a while, like when I was trying to get clients as a photographer, I pretended that I was a man. Like I didn't sign my emails with my name.</p>
<p>You know, I hear even in your industry, like years and years, years ago, were there a bunch of women that were coders in the seventies? And they were all moms and  they all had aliases, like men male names so they could do the coding jobs. Do you remember that? So I just feel like it's, whatever you incorporate in your personality, and if you feel like you need more of the yin or the yang or whatever, that, if you tend to embody that,</p>
<p>that it has to do more with that rather than the true sex of [00:14:00] whatever you were born with. Do you know what I mean? It's a personality thing.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:04] I, I, yeah, no, no, no. I certainly do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:07] I mean, we, we know women CEOs that are  hardcore, right, right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:12] Like a man, they run that risk of  getting called terrible things, as apposed to "assertive"</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:17] exactly.</p>
<p>And it's done because it's, what's the word. Patronizing that's when you start patronizing, someone is saying, oh, look at the strong figure. Who does she thinks she is? She is a B rather than, wow. She's strong. Which you would say about a man, right? Wow. That guy's powerful.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:43] But anyways,  getting back to the ego and all the rest of it, and what I've had to deal with is every single programming team I've been on there always is, and always is a huge word. And I know I'm saying it, I'm throwing that out there, but there's [00:15:00] always that person who thinks that they're better than everyone else.</p>
<p>And usually sadly, almost they are.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:09] What?!.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:10] I know it's a weird world, right. But they're better than everyone else in one slice of knowledge, in one particular thing, in one aspect of everything</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:21] that sounded horrible. You gotta rephrase that. Cause I know that's not what you really mean in your heart. That sounded terrible.</p>
<p>Rephrase that again. What you said. You think there are people that are better than other people say more skilled, you're talking about a specific technique and business. It sounded like you were saying as a human being, that one person is better than the other person.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:48] Right. And</p>
<p>that, that is that's the</p>
<p>subtle trap.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:51] That is not what you said.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:52] That is the trap of language as well?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> And to say that typically they're more skilled and or knowledgeable in [00:16:00] perhaps the technology you're working and our particular skill is spatial working in a skill yes.</p>
<p>In a particular skill. And they, they kind of carry this forward and they kind of put it all over their personality. And if here's the strangest part, if you don't walk around with whatever airs you have. People assume maybe you don't know much.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:23] Unfortunately you have to puff your chest out and say, and grunt and say, look what I did.</p>
<p>I did this!  Because we don't pay attention to each other because we're so wrapped up in our own stuff that, you know, in the "I", you know, so everybody could at, at some point be wrapped up so much within themselves, then they don't see. So then the other person has to feel like they do have to get up on the table, jump up and down and say, I did this, you know what I mean?</p>
<p>Not at all. And then there are other people who steal your stuff. So yeah. Yeah, I have to say I did [00:17:00] this before they do that. Or they</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:01] take it away because somebody took credit for something I did. Right, right. And just what it was. And that was me 25, maybe foolish. But, so it was a, it was a good job too. I could possibly even still be there, but it wasn't, it wasn't a healthy atmosphere.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:16] Oops. Oh, honey. The table knocked the whole house down,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:20] bunkie, bora the table.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:22] Anyway, but you know what? I, I have also experienced that. I mean, all the time, it's just, it comes with the territory. I experienced it in yoga, getting certified in yoga. The person started taking my ideas, the head teacher, the head of the school, and I saw it happening and she would ignore it.</p>
<p>And constantly like, treat me, like I wasn't even there that I never said when I said that I never did what I did. Like nothing, no credit. Well, it's,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:53] it's, it's a strange world. Let's let's one of the things I continually talk about is owning your inner Papa. Right. And [00:18:00] I believe in my head that I invented this, but I probably didn't, but God knows where I picked it up from ...strange.</p>
<p>Uh, but anyways, yesterday with my coworker, I had to puff my chest out. Cause we were going through a bug and I had woken up in the morning and seen the bug and he didn't start until later. So I was starting to troubleshoot it and it was really bizarre and I had a hard time finding it. And when I finally did find it, I was very proud of myself.</p>
<p>I did, I actually knew exactly how to fix it, which is the way it ended up being fixed. I wasn't sure how we should fix it. It's one of those world worlds, cause this was completely in the other programmers kind of ballywick right. And so I walked him through troubleshooting and then I had to stop and say, this isn't even what I do.</p>
<p>Isn't it amazing that I found this? Cause he gave me no kudos. I had to stop him for a minute and say, Hey. Wasn't [00:19:00] this a cool thing. Now we have developed a relationship and we've developed a relationship that's reasonably free of ego, but I felt it necessary to puff my chest out a little bit.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:09] Yeah. It's just interesting how people feel  the need of having that triumph over you.</p>
<p>Why does that happen? I needed a little triumph over him. Well,  I was gonna say in that perhaps what we need is a ritual in our society where when you do something that you have a party about it, like a ceremonial "yay. I did it!".</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:32] Or a parade.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:33] Exactly. That's where I was going. That, yeah, we do ceremonially need to have, even if it's just us doing it for ourselves, but having a ritual that says "thank goodness. Yay. I accomplished what I set out to do", but I'll, you know, one of my friends that I will just name Dolly does this to me throughout the decades. We've been [00:20:00] friends. Um, I will, I will provide something in, in the friendship. And she will listen. And at the time she's kind of quiet about it to the point where I'm like, oh, I guess she didn't appreciate what I just offered.</p>
<p>You know, it could be, you know, I, here, I want you to, if she was having problems, I'm like, okay, this can be easily fixed here. I'll introduce you to the acupuncturist that I go to; my doctor. Right. And a few months later. She starts seeing this person and starts photographing them. And I was like, Hey, I'm photographing them.</p>
<p>Or like seeing them kind of behind my back, like coming all the way, traveling to another city where I live to just to see this doctor and not letting me like, not letting me know she was in the neighborhood. Like that's weird. And then me finding out by accident, oh, you're here to see Dr. [00:21:00] Crow. Do you know what I mean?</p>
<p>And then years later, Telling me about Dr. Crow saying, this is my doctor that I found, perhaps I should introduce you. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What, uh, what do you say, do you remember? I introduced you to Crow and she'll deny it. Right. But like that kind of thing, I'm like, how does I don't, I don't even know how, when people steal, I mean, this is just one tiny example of how people steal your stuff.</p>
<p>Like not that</p>
<p>you're</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:31] holding</p>
<p>onto it or anything.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:33] I have a feeling I have to hold on to it, to give myself examples of ways that this person hurts me, but it's really no big deal who cares, who cares? Uh, you know, I'm so glad that she found Crow and that Crow's in her life, because he is a phenomenal doctor, right.</p>
<p>Acupuncturist. It, it, I don't, I really don't care because I'm okay with myself. Do you know what I mean? I know, I know the truth [00:22:00] and  it's total BS, but if this happens a lot and it kind of has, and I can't really bring it up because I feel like if I do, there will be a, uh, a misunderstood,</p>
<p>so I don't want to talk about it. You know what I mean? Because I feel like the friendship isn't that kind of friendship where it can withstand that. Because I feel like Dolly thinks he's better than me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:27] Right. And that, that gets us back</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:29] into the alphabet. It's a skill, but I feel like when people need to do that, there's something in them that you trigger.</p>
<p>So there's maybe something in me that maybe triggers Dolly that makes her not want to fully. Uh, appreciate me as a human being by myself that I'm lower than she is, that she has to tell me stuff sometimes. Right? It's not like that throughout our entire friendship. Otherwise we wouldn't really be good friends, but [00:23:00] it's a, it's an interesting thing.</p>
<p>And I think it does have to do with ego.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:06] Well,</p>
<p>I think when we talked about this, we talked offline about this, but it's, there's a jumble of emotions and we're focused on scarcity and it's about me getting something, even if it means you don't because ultimately I'm more important.</p>
<p>Certainly to me, than you are,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:30] and it probably comes from some trauma where the person did not feel as important. So they have to really hold up that part of themselves to say, I am important and it has nothing to do with me. So whatever it is that Dolly does, whatever it is that Dolly does, it has to do nothing with me.</p>
<p>It has nothing to do with. She needs that affirmation. That indeed she's a phenomenal person. She's a [00:24:00] phenomenal, creative, amazing, intelligent person. Right. I love her. There's a need to feel like you do have to puff up your chest and that you have to, uh, lie at some, at some points. Now that's not how I roll.</p>
<p>I don't like keeping things from people. I don't like lying. I don't lie to our children. I tell them exactly what's up, you know, in a, in a friendly way, you know, in a, in a, in a, what do you call it in a curated way? Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't say, look, I don't know, like there's nuclear war over here. You know what I mean?</p>
<p>I'm not gonna S I'm just gonna curate it and like do a, a children's book version of nuclear war over here. What I mean, but I feel like it, that's what it is. and it probably comes from some trauma where the person did not feel as important. So they have to really hold up that part of themselves to say, I am important and it has nothing to do with me. So whatever it is that Dolly does, whatever it is that Dolly does, it has to do nothing with me.Right. But I do believe that they won't see it. So you have to prepare yourself for a backlash because they're not going to turn around and go, wow, you're right.</p>
<p>And like, and, and change the behavior because they will lash out at you in some way. Do you know what I mean? You will feel disappointed by their behavior. Right? If you're expecting things to be totally copacetic right now with me and my ego, I mean, I just go and cry. I [00:26:00] mean, I just, I don't know. Do you know what I mean?</p>
<p>It takes, it takes a lot centering myself and leaving myself out of it and reminding myself to leave myself out of this, that this is this person and not me, this has to do with this person and not me. Right. But seriously, like, but, but if it's your livelihood, that's at stake in this person's taking or lashing out at you and destroying your character because they're lashing out.</p>
<p>I don't know how to deal with</p>
<p>that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:33] Well, and honestly, It all goes through phases. It all goes through, I almost want to say stages of getting to know someone and et cetera, et cetera. And you know, if, if they're going to be raining fire on you early on in your relationship, relationship should not survive.</p>
<p>And usually doesn't. If it's much later in your relationship where you've been able to bridge the trust and you've been able to come to common [00:27:00] understandings, The relationship you can survive such a thing. So, you know, it's, it's really, it's really kind of a Testament to longevity, whether or not  this behavior is okay, for example,  this person who I said, Hey, you know, my coworker, we're in the process of becoming friends and I can see us deepening our relationship.</p>
<p>And this is he's very gruff. He's very taciturn. He's very standoffish. BUT every day when we get on our little zoom call, I'm like, Hey, how's it going? How are you doing? How was your weekend? His wife had surgery. I asked about his wife and now tee hee hee. We, after we had that, you know, Hey, check this out.</p>
<p>This was pretty cool. I mean, it wasn't it. And he agreed then same conversation. He told me about a dream. He had that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:54] That is so adorable.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:56] T he, he, I mean,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:58] so cute. It is cute [00:28:00] because he's a tough guy. He's a</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:01] tough, he's a tough and kind of a scary guy, for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:04] Just looking at him. He's a tough guy and he doesn't</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:07] his smiles feel almost feral.</p>
<p>They're very kind of like he's bearing teeth more than he's smiling</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:14] I mean, he looks like a rugged mountain man. Like scary looking handsome. Uh, when I see them, I feel like, oh, I don't want to mess with you brother. Do you know what I mean? So for him to share his dream, that is so beautiful.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:32] He also knows I'm looking out for him because there have been those moments because I pay attention where I know that a conversation we just had with the boss and et cetera, he's upset.</p>
<p>He's not happy. And he's fronting like it's okay. And I remember the first time that happened, I immediately got ahold of him and I. Dude you all right? Because I knew that he would need to vent because I'm always paying attention.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:58] And that's because you [00:29:00] left yourself out of it and just watched, and you only saw him as him.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean? Because you had nothing to do with that that's how, but that's how you were able to have a good communication with him or like see him truly for who he is.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:22] Right. Honestly, I'm not passing value judgements on them. I mean, I know all sorts of random things about him, and I know we're diametrically opposed on some things, so it's just, should we get into it?</p>
<p>Should we not get into it at this point in time, our friendship isn't at a place where it can survive that. So we don't go there, you know? And so when I talk about some homeopathic, natural pathic vegan thing, he'll politely listen. And discard. It's nice and</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:52] simple baby steps. And this is how you're building a relationship of friendship and</p>
<p>[00:30:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:00] navigating our way through both of our egos.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:02] Right. And once everyone is cleared of the, "I", like, feeling heard, feeling seen, it takes some time. It takes time to prove that I do see you. I hear you. It takes time for that to be proven. And that's how you build a friendship. And then once you build that friendship, then you have to build on what kind of friendship is this? Right.</p>
<p>Going back to Nicomachean ethics, right? Going back to Aristotle. Is this a friend that is with me because this person feels good around me. Is this a friend because are they, are they my friend? Of the way I make them feel right. Or is it because of what they get out of the relationship or is it a friend that will still like me when I'm ugly?</p>
<p>Right, right. For me, love me for my ego. Love me for me. Right. [00:31:00] And that's about it. I mean, that's, that's the lesson today. I mean, one little podcast episode, and my goodness. I'm like, I can talk about this forever. There's people in their egos. I think that is the, is the word crux, crux does a word. I think that's it, that, that, that is a huge hurdle to come and get over is to acknowledging the ego.</p>
<p>And the ego has been given such a bad rap, probably through all the psychology in the world. But it's just simple. People want to be seen and heard it's the "I". They want to be themselves. They want to be treated and valued. Right? Absolutely. Okay. And that's about it. Should we do a short episode or do you have more to offer?</p>
<p>We have a lot more to offer. I know. What do you think? Short and sweet. Short and sweet, short and sweet [00:32:00] guys. Don't worry about the ego. Remember to say, I love you. In Latin, you would say ego amo te.  I'm probably mispronouncing it. All right, everybody. We love you. Please help us out. Prove this person wrong that we are doing something of value.</p>
<p>Speaking of ego, but, but it's not though. No, it's not. I mean, we are doing our work. We want to change the world by bringing about compassion and kindness by seeing each other, truly, but not attacking each other by creating a utopia in our society. And it's the key is the art of friendship. Please, please reach out to me, go to the website.</p>
<p>And go to contact us. That's how you [00:33:00] email me. Let's figure this out. Let's get to gather. Let's create community for real. I really want to prove this guy wrong. We are doing something.</p>
<p>Tell me, tell me your opinion,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:14] because again, we're back to the. My wife needs to be people say, I see you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:21] No, it's not about me dummy. I'm saying I want to create community for real. So let's do this. Let's show this person. This person is not alone. Or the fact that he said we're doing nothing. That we're nothing.</p>
<p>We're nothing but a podcast. And we're really not doing anything. Please let me know what you think. Of this work. It's not me now. I'm getting mad. Mad. Okay.</p>
<p>You're the devil. You're the devil. All right. All right. Oh my God. Love is winning. [00:34:00] Love is winning. All right, folks, we'll talk to you in a little bit. Take care. Be well. Be well.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/EGO-FINAL-EDIT.mp3" length="33828780"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The English word ego is the Latin word for, “I”.  Literally translated, ego means "I". If you were to write, "I love you" in Latin, you would write "ego amo te"
 
It's interesting how people feel  the need of having that triumph over you. Why does that happen? It probably comes from some trauma where the person did not feel as important. So they have to really hold up that part of themselves to say, “I am important.” 
Perhaps what we need is rituals in our society where when you do something (you accomplish something) that you have a party about it, like a ceremonial "yay. I did it!”
 
 If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] You who can help you? It's you and me, baby. Oh, yay. It's been awhile since goodness.
Matt: [00:00:08] Wait, wait. We've actually started. I thought we were doing another
Fawn: [00:00:12] . Oh dear. You ready? Do you have any idea what I'm going to bring up today? I think it could be ego. It could be it's ego, ego. Okay. Brought to you by our lovely sponsors.
We don't have any sponsors, but brought to you by some experience we had the last week.
Matt: [00:00:35] Oh dear. So I take it. We're just going to go for it then. Right. Well
Fawn: [00:00:38] kind of going to go for it without naming any names. All right. So today is people and their ego. All right. And you've had to deal with that because of your work situation.
Right?
Matt: [00:00:52] Okay. So it's my fundamental belief. I mean, as a, as a computer programmer, you know, we sit at a keyboard, we [00:01:00] type some random gibberish in and things happen and we build things that people use and people say, wow, this is great. Thank you so much. And people find bugs and make us feel bad. And then we fix the bugs and that makes us feel good.
Computer programmers are incredibly credible egomaniacs because we do this. We build for a living and we get all these strokes and we get all this other stuff.
Fawn: [00:01:23] You know what everybody, every industry has that every industry has the ego everywhere you go. There is ego. And I have a theory about that. My theory is when people are not heard and they don't feel seen that's when things get out of hand with the ego.
Okay. Here's the atomology of ego that will actually bring some light to this. What I'm talking about? Ego.  The English word ego is the Latin word for, I literally translated ego means "I", if you were to write, "I [00:02:00] love you" in Latin, you would write "ego amo te"
Matt: [00:02:08] god, that's very aside from the word ego, that's very similar to like Spanish.
So
Fawn: [00:02:12] some guesses and then where Spanish comes from. Hello, Latin. All right. So we, we, we, I don't know how to say this, but recently we came across a major ego.  And it was painful.  It took me a while to get over it. I had Tourette's in the shower. I was walking around the apartment, like just bursting things out loud.
Like I, I was initially so hurt. I felt spanked by this person. Right. And it was so we were trying to figure out what it was. And really, even though this person came across or appears out in the world as like, uh, a very [00:03:00] substantial, knowledgeable together kind of person, it was, I realized, wow, this person is in pain and they want to be heard.
And perhaps we didn't stroke the ego wanted or expected us to, because we're not an interview type body. This is a conversation we're not here to interview you...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Ego-Amo-Te.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:35:14</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Revolution vs Evolution and the Art of a Coherent Community During Turbulent Times]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/revolution-vs-evolution-and-the-art-of-a-coherent-community-during-turbulent-times-1</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/revolution-vs-evolution-and-the-art-of-a-coherent-community-during-turbulent-times-1</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>This episode we focus on Revolution vs Evolution and the Art of A Coherent Community During Turbulent Times and we begin with the etymology of <u>revolution</u>: to turn; to roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family; the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Revolution is also a change in paradigm.</strong></p>
<p><strong><u>Evolution</u></strong><strong> is an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up.</strong></p>
<p><strong>We discuss the  cause of fear and division. Fawn gives the example of Santa Monica and how the utopia bubble was getting thin, when things became more (here's the four letter word - "busy"), where people began becoming more and more busy, didn't play as often, didn't have happy hour meals as often and began to get quiet in conversation. The family began to dwindle. The free, wild, uncontrollable laughter  didn't happen as much. Things felt more and more serious and soon began that new normal.</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>So what's the lesson here and this tiny bit of time in this tiny bit of community is the basis for our conversation today? How does revolution ignite in a peaceful heart? How can we turn it around? Here at our friendly world, we always say that friendship is the key to what ails our society. It is the key to social economic and racial conflict. Because when we see  how supported we are, that we are better, stronger together, as we say, we help each other with all aspects of life, we are wealthy, we are not alone and we value each other.</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Hi, again, I'm so excited I  picked up this book just a little bit ago. Right. And, um, the way I came across this book was really crazy because I was researching something that has nothing to do with anything, but somehow, I mean, whoa, wait a second.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:21] I would say it's kind of central to</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:23] everything. Okay. What was happening was I was doing research for something that kind of had something to do with the podcast, but anyway, in a universal roundabout way, I was guided to this book and I got it right away. I'm like, I can't believe that, that title. Okay.</p>
<p>I've actually talked about this book on the last episode we totally got into it.  This  person is here today. I will introduce him in just a second, but you know, I like to  give you nuggets of wisdom.</p>
<p> I'm obsessed with etymology of words and everything and trying to figure out how in the heck did this happen.  I looked up revolution and I promised like, [00:01:00] I wouldn't use words like that on this podcast, but here I go. Okay. The etymology of a revolution, I can't even say it it's to turn; to roll back.</p>
<p>Now, remember that turn roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally  meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family, you know, the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution, another meaning is the rotation of a celestial body on its axis</p>
<p>motion of any figure about a center or access. Okay. Like a sudden radical. I know it was just getting too wordy, whatever, whatever a sudden radical or a complete change. Also a change in paradigm. And then I'm like, okay, well what about [00:02:00] evolution, revolution, evolution? And  to me , it looks like the same thing to me, evolution and revolution.</p>
<p> Evolution, remember I said revolution. Remember it means turn roll back. It's interesting because I found evolution was an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up. So...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode we focus on Revolution vs Evolution and the Art of A Coherent Community During Turbulent Times and we begin with the etymology of revolution: to turn; to roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family; the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution. 
Revolution is also a change in paradigm.
Evolution is an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up.
We discuss the  cause of fear and division. Fawn gives the example of Santa Monica and how the utopia bubble was getting thin, when things became more (here's the four letter word - "busy"), where people began becoming more and more busy, didn't play as often, didn't have happy hour meals as often and began to get quiet in conversation. The family began to dwindle. The free, wild, uncontrollable laughter  didn't happen as much. Things felt more and more serious and soon began that new normal.
 
So what's the lesson here and this tiny bit of time in this tiny bit of community is the basis for our conversation today? How does revolution ignite in a peaceful heart? How can we turn it around? Here at our friendly world, we always say that friendship is the key to what ails our society. It is the key to social economic and racial conflict. Because when we see  how supported we are, that we are better, stronger together, as we say, we help each other with all aspects of life, we are wealthy, we are not alone and we value each other.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Hi, again, I'm so excited I  picked up this book just a little bit ago. Right. And, um, the way I came across this book was really crazy because I was researching something that has nothing to do with anything, but somehow, I mean, whoa, wait a second.
Matt: [00:00:21] I would say it's kind of central to
Fawn: [00:00:23] everything. Okay. What was happening was I was doing research for something that kind of had something to do with the podcast, but anyway, in a universal roundabout way, I was guided to this book and I got it right away. I'm like, I can't believe that, that title. Okay.
I've actually talked about this book on the last episode we totally got into it.  This  person is here today. I will introduce him in just a second, but you know, I like to  give you nuggets of wisdom.
 I'm obsessed with etymology of words and everything and trying to figure out how in the heck did this happen.  I looked up revolution and I promised like, [00:01:00] I wouldn't use words like that on this podcast, but here I go. Okay. The etymology of a revolution, I can't even say it it's to turn; to roll back.
Now, remember that turn roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally  meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family, you know, the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution, another meaning is the rotation of a celestial body on its axis
motion of any figure about a center or access. Okay. Like a sudden radical. I know it was just getting too wordy, whatever, whatever a sudden radical or a complete change. Also a change in paradigm. And then I'm like, okay, well what about [00:02:00] evolution, revolution, evolution? And  to me , it looks like the same thing to me, evolution and revolution.
 Evolution, remember I said revolution. Remember it means turn roll back. It's interesting because I found evolution was an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up. So...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Revolution vs Evolution and the Art of a Coherent Community During Turbulent Times]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>This episode we focus on Revolution vs Evolution and the Art of A Coherent Community During Turbulent Times and we begin with the etymology of <u>revolution</u>: to turn; to roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family; the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Revolution is also a change in paradigm.</strong></p>
<p><strong><u>Evolution</u></strong><strong> is an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up.</strong></p>
<p><strong>We discuss the  cause of fear and division. Fawn gives the example of Santa Monica and how the utopia bubble was getting thin, when things became more (here's the four letter word - "busy"), where people began becoming more and more busy, didn't play as often, didn't have happy hour meals as often and began to get quiet in conversation. The family began to dwindle. The free, wild, uncontrollable laughter  didn't happen as much. Things felt more and more serious and soon began that new normal.</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>So what's the lesson here and this tiny bit of time in this tiny bit of community is the basis for our conversation today? How does revolution ignite in a peaceful heart? How can we turn it around? Here at our friendly world, we always say that friendship is the key to what ails our society. It is the key to social economic and racial conflict. Because when we see  how supported we are, that we are better, stronger together, as we say, we help each other with all aspects of life, we are wealthy, we are not alone and we value each other.</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Hi, again, I'm so excited I  picked up this book just a little bit ago. Right. And, um, the way I came across this book was really crazy because I was researching something that has nothing to do with anything, but somehow, I mean, whoa, wait a second.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:21] I would say it's kind of central to</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:23] everything. Okay. What was happening was I was doing research for something that kind of had something to do with the podcast, but anyway, in a universal roundabout way, I was guided to this book and I got it right away. I'm like, I can't believe that, that title. Okay.</p>
<p>I've actually talked about this book on the last episode we totally got into it.  This  person is here today. I will introduce him in just a second, but you know, I like to  give you nuggets of wisdom.</p>
<p> I'm obsessed with etymology of words and everything and trying to figure out how in the heck did this happen.  I looked up revolution and I promised like, [00:01:00] I wouldn't use words like that on this podcast, but here I go. Okay. The etymology of a revolution, I can't even say it it's to turn; to roll back.</p>
<p>Now, remember that turn roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally  meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family, you know, the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution, another meaning is the rotation of a celestial body on its axis</p>
<p>motion of any figure about a center or access. Okay. Like a sudden radical. I know it was just getting too wordy, whatever, whatever a sudden radical or a complete change. Also a change in paradigm. And then I'm like, okay, well what about [00:02:00] evolution, revolution, evolution? And  to me , it looks like the same thing to me, evolution and revolution.</p>
<p> Evolution, remember I said revolution. Remember it means turn roll back. It's interesting because I found evolution was an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up. So anyway, this actually brings us to the topic today. I have a nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica and usually our nuggets are pretty happy and pretty uplifting.</p>
<p>And it, at first it may not seem so what this nugget I'm going to give you. Okay. Just bear with me, bear with me because. It was a mentorship. Like I always talk to you guys about the city of Santa Monica was my mentor and  it was showing me the path that we were headed on without me knowing it at the time, it was about [00:03:00] learning about true community, true friends, true love for one another and how that manifests a life that is wealthy, rich, healthy in body and spirit, as well as all the strife that we see with racial injustice, all of that, the key is the art of friendship. It seems so trite to say that. And it's been what almost a year now, Matt, we've gone episode after episode giving examples of  what that truly is, what the art really is; everything from the art of martial arts, to the art of cuisine, the art of entertaining, the art of being a good host, the art of community, all of that. So let me give you this nugget, but just bear in mind, it may seem harsh, but I'll just give you the story. It was around 2:00 AM and you all know, I lived right across the street from O'Brien's pub in Santa Monica and Matt, this was before he moved into the [00:04:00] neighborhood. It was 2:00 AM.  The pub was closing, I heard yelling the voices were kind of familiar.  I look out the window and then I lean out and couldn't, you know, I couldn't believe what was happening was really scary and confusing. And I was shocked to see one of our friends out there with a baseball bat and he had so much rage and there was like a whole gang of them and they were our friends.</p>
<p>Right. And they were beating not the windshield, but the back side of the car, you know, the glass, they were just smashing it to bits. And I, why are you laughing? Oh, it was, it was really scary to watch because I, what was normally like this level headed guy that I know, for him to be moved to such rage and violence.</p>
<p>I didn't, I didn't understand it. It was like, it was like, I was watching a movie. It was my heart. [00:05:00] It just hurt, you know, like. I kind of felt like I knew what was going on. Obviously I don't know it was terrible. And then one day I felt that rage myself. And instead of a bat, I had my fist to the hood of a car owned by some ignoramus and a bunch of people in this car.</p>
<p>Now, you know, me, I'm not, we may love martial arts and we have training, but I don't like violence. And I don't, I don't like that kind of behavior. I don't like, you know, I'd much rather walk away, you know what I mean? But I got out of my car and I had such rage and I'm tiny. And there were four people in this car and I didn't care.</p>
<p>The rage just led me there with my fist and I was pounding the hood of the car. And everyone in that car looked scared and they were all bigger than I was. And [00:06:00] so go figure. How, how, how does that happen? You know? Um, so anyway, that same fear and shock I felt about my friend and watching his actions that night, I felt about myself.</p>
<p>I had to check myself right then and there and figure out how and why I allowed such rage to take over me. So over the course of several months, the neighborhood began to experience violence like here and there pockets of it. It was like, it was like a virus hitting and, and infecting more and more people and becoming more destructive and more frightening every time, like every time something happened, it was a higher degree, like a bigger scarier degree, like extreme violence.</p>
<p>In, in a, in a sleepy beach community, you know, like, you know, with</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:59] a fair [00:07:00] number of bars and a fair number of people came to</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:03] visit and yeah. Yeah. But, but still like, we, it was a loving, it was a loving little village. It really was, it was like a little utopia, but  that destruction with more and more people like it.</p>
<p>And it just, it started to cause fear and division. The utopia bubble was getting thin. We became more, here's the four letter word "busy", we're becoming more and more busy. Didn't play as often. Didn't have happy hour meals as often began, to get quiet and conversation. The family began to dwindle. The free, wild, uncontrollable laughter we would have, didn't happen as much. Things felt more and more serious and soon began that new normal. And it's funny because that's, when you moved into the [00:08:00] neighborhood, you know, we talked about this last night, cause I was telling you like, Hey, if you don't mind, I'm going to tell you the dark side of what happened in Santa Monica. And you're like, well, I don't, I, I didn't, you didn't see that.</p>
<p>And I explained to you why and why is that? Because you and I started to form our own little bubble. Yeah. And I mean, you still hung out with the friends and  the, what we call family in the neighborhood, but I'm telling you before you moved in like months, months, months before it was different.</p>
<p>Yeah. The</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:33] invitations into people's personal spaces were fairly singular for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:37] So what's the lesson here and this tiny bit of time in this tiny bit of community is the basis for our conversation today? How does revolution ignite in a peaceful heart? How can we turn it around? Here at our friendly world</p>
<p>we always say that friendship is the key [00:09:00] to what ails our society. It is the key to social economic and racial conflict. Because when we see  how supported we are, that we are better, stronger together, as we say, we help each other with all aspects of life, we are wealthy, we are not alone and we value each other.</p>
<p> So this book that I was telling you about the other day with Maya, we brought up this book, it's called the art of community seven principles for belonging. And the author is Charles Vogel, who is here with us today. Let me just give you a little bit of like teeny, tiny little bio about him.</p>
<p> When I opened his book, I was only  10 pages in and I was screaming at it. I was yelling at the book because I was saying, you know, someone's saying what we've been saying. Here's a scholar who's been, who's saying what we've been saying. And so I, I tracked him down and  [00:10:00] he is  with us today.</p>
<p>So Charles Vogel, you guys is an advisor speaker, and award winning author. One of which is this book, the art of community.  Please friends help me to welcome Charles Vogel, Charles, welcome. Welcome.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:10:24] I'm delighted to be invited.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:26] I want to jump in deep, right? Matt, let's go in deep because friends out there we've talked about this for ages now. You all know, you all know the story, you all know the value of community. Let's really get into the, the, how could I describe this Matt?</p>
<p>The high level stuff. Like I don't, I can't think of a better word for it right now. Let's just get into it deep. Let's go deep and figure things out and let's turn this around because I feel like, like, I, I try not to talk like this, but I feel like we're in a [00:11:00] revolution right now. It's not okay.</p>
<p>Especially it's around the world, but it's, I'm, I'm especially feeling it in the United States and I've always told</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:09] you. Well, we're, we're seeing unrest in Cuba. We're seeing unrest in South Africa. We're seeing, you know, we're seeing a lot of very challenging. I want to, I want to be this way. You want to be that way, but for some reason it's not okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:25] Well, it was never okay. It was never okay. And if you're not gonna listen to me and if you're not going to hear me, if you're not going to understand me, well, then we're going to have a problem. Remember our friend would say, there's, we're going to have a problem, a misunderstanding. Um, Charles, I had a friend who would say, well, we're about to have a misunderstanding, which meant a full-out brawl, like a fight.</p>
<p>But, so I feel like there's been a huge misunderstanding. And if, feel like we can turn it around. So Charles help us out. Hello.</p>
<p>[00:12:00] <strong>Charles: </strong>[00:11:59] Hello? Yeah. We're just</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:00] going to dump that right on your plate.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:03] No, it's a conversation. This is not an interview type of podcast, Charles. We're just, uh, welcome to our kitchen table.</p>
<p>First of all, we're just going to have a conversation, figure this out right now.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:15] Well, can we talk about how, why you ended up with this bump Vista with your fist on somebody's, uh, hood?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:22] Do I have</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:22] to, mm, but it, it might afford to give us some context as far as like why that moment or what that was.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:31] I feel like I, it was mass consciousness thing happening because it wasn't just this, this thing that happened in front of me that angered me, I was picking up on mass consciousness.</p>
<p>I was picking up on the whole vibe of  unrest that was building in everyone's hearts. I'm very intuitive. I'm very, what's the word I'm gonna. An extreme empath. So I was picking it up and, [00:13:00] and I noticed other people, other friends were also picking it up. But what happened was, I mean, he was so ridiculous, but parking in our, in our little place in Santa Monica was horrible.</p>
<p>So, you know, God forbid you had to go to the bathroom because it may take you two hours to find a parking spot to go home. And so I knew this person was pulling out of this parking spot. I was waiting, my signal was on. I was waiting. This, this guy was taking forever to pull out. As soon as he slowly pulls out this car who obviously saw me, saw my signal, totally looked at me right in the eyes and just stole the parking spot.</p>
<p>So I got out of my car and I'm sorry, I, I, I'm very ashamed of my behavior, but I'm just letting you know someone as peaceful. As I sound so egotistical, but I'm just saying it can, enrage can take over anyone. Okay. And it can [00:14:00] come from anywhere. And so there, I hope that answers your question. Now. I sound like a terrible, horrible human being, but I mean, I'm human.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:09] So we get to, we get to describe it as certainly the, one of the aspects that encompasses your rage was certainly this thought of scarcity, you know? And, and we see a lot of that justice, injustice, scarcity, and injustice, as soon as you have something that everybody wants, but only a few people can get it.</p>
<p>Those people who get it feel special, those people who don't get it feel abused or neglected or. Pushed down.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:40] I mean, yeah. I mean, we, we always talk about stuff like this, but the, the whole main idea that I want to get out today is this idea of revolution where in this peaceful society, it, it, this rage can ignite in a peaceful heart and it can take over your [00:15:00] best senses.</p>
<p>All right. How can we move that around? Because what it does, what I noticed it did was it divided us all right. Here was a community where we played together. We rollerbladed together. And there was no age-ism. There was no sexism, no racism. I mean, you know, I always talk about our tattoos. We had beautiful, like Maori tattoos, all the way that range to the range of we had Auschwitz Auschwitz.</p>
<p>Numbers on our, on our arms. Do you know what I mean? That was the whole encompassing neighborhood. We were all family and we were all together. And that kind of fear that sets into a society that kind of rage and anger can take over so quickly, like a wildfire. How can we stop that? How can we turn it around and evolve instead of really going [00:16:00] out into full blown war?</p>
<p>How can we remember, guys, we're still here to play. We're still here. We can break bread together. We can still, we can still be a community that is thriving and loving. How can we stop this rage? Charles, have I gone way off topic? You're quiet.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:16:22] I don't know how to contribute to this conversation. This is your memory and your thoughts.</p>
<p>You know, things that I'm not connected with.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:32] Yesterday we were talking about the country possibly going into a state of revolution. Right. And that's what sparked my memory of this that happened in Santa Monica. How can we have community when the whole world seems to be on fire?</p>
<p>We always talk about when people feel like they don't have the capacity to be friends with someone [00:17:00] because they're always in survival mode in a community. When you feel like you're always in survival mode, it's not a time to really open your arms up and be giving</p>
<p>and contributing to a community, contributing to someone else and being there for someone else, because you feel like you're fighting for your life, whether it's because of money, you have to work these jobs, or maybe there's a health issue that you feel like, wow, I'm all alone in this.  There's no one, no one here with me when all these things happen, I feel like there's no sense of community anymore because there is that false feeling that we don't have community anymore, that we're in it by ourselves.</p>
<p>And that can lead to rage when we feel like we're just by ourselves.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:17:54] Well, I mean, there's a lot of layers there that you're referencing. Um, if [00:18:00] we go. Yeah, to the highest altitude. You know, my thoughts on what you're describing is, um, part of that rage was you had a sense that nobody was taking care of you in that particular, very specific incident with the car. And I'm certain that if context is king, so I don't know what the context was in your experience.</p>
<p>When someone stole a parking spot from you. I think there are many contexts. There are almost certainly many contexts in which someone's stealing a parking spot from you would not send you into rage, but the context here was about only was there not enough, but it was really disrupting your lifestyle.</p>
<p>You couldn't even come home and find a parking spot, anything that looked timely. And there was also a sense that there was nobody to take care of you, that when someone does steal those parking spot and now you're left for two hours search for another one. There's no, one's going to make sure you get what you need in this case, where to get home.</p>
<p>And if we. Recognize that as a microcosm, what's going on, at least in this country and large in the larger world as well. But I live in this [00:19:00] country, the United States, uh, we're in a place where the wealth disparity is so great that it's true. Um, leadership be it corporate or government, uh, is not taking care of the bottom 80% of America. When I say 80%, because before the pandemic, we know that 80% of America lived paycheck to paycheck or said differently. Uh, 80% of America is shockingly close to homelessness, right? One diagnosis, maybe one car accident, um, when job change and boom, um, families would have no  home. My understanding is before the pandemic, um, over 10 million children in America, uh, had subsidized meals at school.</p>
<p>And that was before the economy was hit with a global pandemic, uh, not 1 million, not 2 million, but over 10 million children. That's my understanding. Uh, we are right. We are in a culture that's extensively the richest in the history of all people who have ever had wealth. And [00:20:00] at least 80% of us are not getting what we need to have quite frankly, sanity.</p>
<p>Well, I don't know very much about revolution. I do know that there have been revolutions where enough people didn't get enough that they said enough of this and they restructured the system. And you know, one of those is China in the mid 20th century, of course famously the French revolution.</p>
<p>Uh, and I'm certain their history as you can go on and on and on. Uh, one of things I'm concerned about is my understanding is the majority of the workforce right now is millennial millennial. And if I understand what I'm reading, uh, millennials control 5% of the wealth and the country as the majority of the workforce.</p>
<p>I don't know at what point there is something that could be called revolution, um, how physically violent it is is yet to be seen. But I don't, it's somewhere between [00:21:00] 5% and zero. Right? Right. Yeah. For the majority of our workforce has nothing to lose. They have zero clearly they're going to throw off the minority.</p>
<p>So the question is, at what point does that happen? What's the tipping point between five and zero. Is it  2%, is it 1%? Cause whatever it is, that's where the trend is going. And I worry about that because I live in this country and my son is hopefully gonna live this country a lot longer. And it looks like within our lifetimes, if this trend continues, we're going to see something that I think will be called revolution in the rear view mirror,</p>
<p>stemming from the fact that we're not taking care of each other or providing a structure, others can take care. I don't believe 80% of the country's lazy. And I don't believe any of the country. 80% of this country is so stupid. They can't create a, a life where they can save up money at the end of the month.</p>
<p>I just don't believe that's true. I think it's because we've [00:22:00] created a structure or that's where we're at.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:03] I think we're all on the hardest working countries. I mean, we don't even take vacations. It's rare. You have to be of a social cer certain social class to actually get the vacation and actually go on vacation.</p>
<p>But like people work two, three jobs. Remember Matt, when we lived in port Townsend, everybody, everybody had two, three jobs working constantly. We are not lazy. This country is a hardworking country. This country is very embracing and so willing to step in and donate and</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:38] help. Yes. And super innovative too.</p>
<p>So you would think that there would be more, there is more wealth to be spread around. It's just not</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:45] being spread. So what is going on? What is, what is going on? I was, I was listening a few, a couple months ago. I don't remember his name. He's a billionaire, but he was saying, look, I made a list for myself and [00:23:00] I thought to myself, should I ever be homeless, I'm going to make a list. And I'm going to ask everyone on this lists, hey, can I stay on your couch for a week? And so he found just enough people to put on his list where he could live a year without being out on the street. I'm saying if we can remember to come together, if we have that support, that fear</p>
<p>being homeless or that fear of I'm by myself,  is eradicated. And then you have enough energy to focus on making life better. If, I mean, it's pretty simple, right? You can, you can, I'm willing to have any friend come stay with us,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:47] right? Yeah. Me too.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:48] Have like a friendship Airbnb. Right. I just feel like, what do you think Charles is happening within our community as a whole in society where [00:24:00] we've made that disconnect?</p>
<p>How did that happen?</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:24:05] Well, this goes really deep. So if you read and expert experts who write stuff, and I guess I'm one of those experts, they'll largely talk about three trends since mid 20th century. Uh, one is Americans are moving more than ever before. I believe it's an average of roughly five times. And whenever we do that, we're largely moving out of places where we have relationships that are supportive and we're restarting again, nothing wrong with that.</p>
<p>But you do that five times over your adult life hood and well, you're separating yourself from a lot of people from relationships that could've grown to be more supportive. The second one is Americans have largely and are largely leaving their home faith traditions. And fortunately, they're doing this often for really good reasons.</p>
<p>What it also means is that Americans are not, uh, convening weekly or regularly, uh, among communities and committing the rituals [00:25:00] that brought people together around shared values and purpose for generations, and that's just not happening. And then of course the big elephant is social media. Uh, we're spending golly dozens and dozens of hours in social media a week.</p>
<p>And the research is pretty clear. There's correlation between time on social media and happiness. And social media is really, really good about connecting us with lots of people who don't care about us. It's really lousy about helping us develop rich, vulnerable, supportive relationships with people who deeply care about us.</p>
<p>Right. Except words. But that's the trouble.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:37] Wait, I'm sorry. You both talked to the same time. Sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:39] I w I, I just said, I think the key thing there is vulnerable relationships.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:25:44] Yeah. The term that I coined in my book building brand communities.</p>
<p>I wrote that with Carrie Melissa Jones, we coined a term called avataring. And avataring is when we present the version of ourselves that we think other people [00:26:00] want to see, and there's nothing wrong with that. Uh, we avatar all the time and people who are multicultural often know that we're switching back and forth from one culture to another, just to make that a comfortable trip.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:11] Is that kind of like code switching?</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:26:13] I think code switching could be, um, describes the type of avatar, but I don't, I don't know enough about that so I can speak with authority of, so it's not fundamentally bad. The problem with that is that's not, when we're advertising, we're not presenting a version of ourselves that we think is truly authentic and we don't believe people truly understand us.</p>
<p>And we choose when and where to be more vulnerable, to be more honest and authentic, to show a shared identity, we may largely hide. So when we're spending our time in a place, be that social media space where we're almost exclusively avatar ING, we're not having that experience where people see us for who we truly are.</p>
<p>Right. And, and we're on the other, the flip side. [00:27:00] We're also not seeing other people that way. So those are the big three, but I think it goes even deeper than that. Those three trends cannot be ignored, but certainly that's not the whole thing. I think a bigger story is we're living in what I understand is called a liberal culture.</p>
<p>And I mean that literally not colloquially. What I mean by that is we live in a culture or each person, um, feels a need or in fact has the need to establish our unique identity and prove our value in our culture. Let me say it a little bit differently. When we show up in this culture, we largely can't name.</p>
<p>We largely cannot depend on the name of our parents on the class we were born into, uh, to the land that we were given to give us an identity and establish our value. And in many ways, for obvious reasons, that's really good, right? That's how we have [00:28:00] even the potential, even though it may be an illusion, those country, there's the potential of transcending class because the name of my parents is not going to determine my identity in this culture and my value. The flip side of that is if we all show up or let's just say the vast majority of us show up and we have to determine our identity, since I can't depend on my father's name to give that to me. And I have to prove my value. Now I'm spending much of my life establishing my identity and proving my value.</p>
<p>And I'm doing that with a bunch of other people who are doing the same thing and what that can distract us from, or rather set differently, give us enough discomfort so that we can't attend to just knowing we're connected, just knowing we belong, just being in community because we're proving ourselves.</p>
<p>And let me be really clear. I participated in this [00:29:00] wasn't a hundred percent full boar, uh, for decades myself. And that's why there's a lot of empathy. And it's taken me until, you know, pretty far into my adulthood to understand, whoa, maybe I can back off of that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:17] I'm confused. I'm confused. What, what is it that you're doing, Charles?</p>
<p>Are you going spending a</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:29:23] lot of time establishing identity and proving my value in this culture?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:29] I see a lot of it, aside from the heritage, aside from the family name, is that what you were saying? Like</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:37] starting again? Don't just exactly. You start from scratch and it, it, it can be even worse</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:43] and we've had to,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:43] now. It can be even worse. I mean, you know, Charles gets to say, yes, here's the books I wrote. Bam, go figure it out. Uh, for, for, you know, someone like, let's say me, you know, every time I start a new job,  it's the same story. It's like, okay, it's the first week I [00:30:00] got to get a nice, solid base hit.</p>
<p>Okay. Within the first three months I got to go hit a home run. Just to establish the fact that I'm not an idiot.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:09] And then someone like me who is like, look, this is me, this is my photography. Look, this is my life's work. And then, you know, getting questions like, well, what, what are your successful, uh, major accomplishments?</p>
<p>I'm like, well, this is my book. This is my portfolio. This is what, these are the projects I did. But to me, it comes to money and I want to like, not live on a planet anymore because I feel like my value is zip zero because I'm not financially successful. I'm not the big name. I don't have a name. Nobody knows me aside from thank you friends who support us on this podcast, but also I want to talk about this,  remember like</p>
<p>prime example, we were watching, Padma. Padma the show on cuisine around the world and really getting into the immigrants and [00:31:00] where this particular dish comes from, where the hot dog comes from, where the French fries come from. And getting into wow. Before it was a world war one was a world war one where the Germans in Wisconsin was a world one or two, one or two.</p>
<p>That's a good, I think it was before world war II, the, all the Germans had to completely erase who they were. And I'm like, wow, that must be nice because they can blend in. They're white, but, but they had to erase everything. And then I also think of your mother, Matt, who is so offended, should I ever bring up her heritage?</p>
<p>She's totally Caucasian. She is what was the religion Lutheran? Totally Lutheran and whatever. But like, she's like, she's so proud of the fact that she doesn't know anything about her heritage. Like it's erased and she's proud of that. And I'm like, [00:32:00] ouch, because I feel like in our society here, people try to erase me all the time and I'm like, please don't erase me.</p>
<p>Don't erase my color. Don't erase my culture. You know what I mean? So it's this thing where you can't depend on elders anymore because they've had to erase things for, for good reason. They sometimes, you know, for good reason. Yeah. And, but I don't know. I just feel like that's part of the big problem of this identity that we're talking about.</p>
<p>It's so it's so complicated and it's so painful. I had to erase my background, not because I disliked my background, but I came from a crazy family. They were, they were horrible. They were very hurtful and toxic. So to start a new family, We had to have a pure circle, you know, like a circle of trust, a circle of health.</p>
<p>So I feel like there are all these different facets and these [00:33:00] different examples in our society and everybody's out on their own. So to form a community, to form anything, I mean, let's say, okay, there was a ritual of going to church. Well, the churches are breaking apart. The churches, everything is, seems to be everything seems that it's just falling apart, getting torn down for good reason in some</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:24] cases.</p>
<p>Exactly. But I think we hyper-focus on those quote unquote good reasons. Um, you know, molestation inside the Catholic church. And just the fact that let's say the masons are just out of touch and they're all just getting old and, and on</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:39] and on and on telling someone they're going to go to hell because they are gay.</p>
<p>You know what that's kind of a problem. Yeah. So how can we, how can we turn this thing around? Because it just feels like there's one conflict after another and to have community, it feels like, wow, is the community going to have a precise [00:34:00] one inner circle? And they're going to have all these different circles and can all the circles, what's the, what's it called?</p>
<p>I always mispronounce it. Can we have a Venn diagram then, or Venn Venn diagram where we all have that all the circles coming together, all the inner circles coming together. And I know one of the things I'm intrigued by, um, in your book, Charles, is how you talk about inner circles. </p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:26] Let's just try and tackle the, you know, what's going on with community.</p>
<p> The first step is recognizing there's a problem. And I think, citing reason, number three, you pointed out Charles was social media. I think social media gives us that not quite healthy boost of I belong and I can feed off of that for a long time, but it's almost like I'm feeding on my own muscle.</p>
<p>It's it's not like I really belong, but I feel that way. And I'm constantly being like, oh, that's interesting, like scrolling through [00:35:00] Pinterest. You're like, oh wow, that's really pretty. And I get that endorphin rush and I want to stay there, which keeps me from actually getting out there and maybe entering into an uncomfortable, you know, maybe</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:12] a quote unquote real conversation, never ending scroll.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:15] It's the never ending scroll. It's the seeing everybody's perfect life on Facebook. It's the,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:20] but that's that also happens with conversation. You meet, you see someone you're like, hi, how are you? How are you? I'm fine. How are you? It's totally. Um, it's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:31] pleasantries and</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:32] sacker empty. It's empty it's not even sacran. It's just empty words because people aren't paying attention.</p>
<p>They don't really care how you are.  But if you care first, if you invite, if you have that invitation of truly having an honest question or an honest,  offering like, wow, you know, you don't have to dump your entire horribleness that you may be going through on [00:36:00] the person, but you can say, hi, it's really good to see you.</p>
<p>Wow. I've had a day. Let me tell you, do you know what I mean? You don't have to get into the specifics, but you can just be honest. I think of people on social media, like women showing their fat rolls after birth, you know what I mean? There are people who are real on, there are communities I used to be so set against social media, but I can tell you since the pandemic, I am very grateful for it.</p>
<p>I never thought never, ever thought that I would like social media, but because of the tool of social media, because I don't, I don't, I don't handle BS. I I'm, I go straight. I hone in for the truth. I have found true life, best friends scattered around the globe,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:53] but these are people who</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:54] are, and we see each other every, every week, twice a week.</p>
<p>[00:37:00] Whatever there's eye contact. I know what's going on.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:03] And, but they also tell you about their missteps. They tell you vulnerable because</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:08] I was vulnerable first. Do you know what I mean? I don't care. There's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:12] half the key, you know, I, I still remember. I don't remember who wrote it, but they, they were talking about a one path through in business is to, when you make a business contact, you ask them for a really small trivial favor.</p>
<p>And as soon as that happens, you know, you've basically acknowledged you're vulnerable or their superior if with this one tiny little thing or whatever, but that makes them way more likely to come to you for a favor as well. Back</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:37:39] on that, oh, here</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:40] he goes.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:37:44] That's entirely possible that by asking someone a favor, what you're showing is their dominant and we're vulnerable, and that is classic manipulation.</p>
<p> That's Sensu right? Yes, it absolutely is. I don't believe that that's how most [00:38:00] people I meet want to relate to people. Um, I think that what's going on most of the time is most people want to contribute to most people wherever they go or said differently. Most people want to mostly contribute to most people most everywhere they go.</p>
<p>And we don't know where and how to do that. Or if we have permission to do that, in fact, I'm afraid to even approach, uh, houses when I'm out walking to move a package and hide it for fear that a security camera that will assume I'm there to steal the package instead of secure it. So, you know, I do, I don't secure those packages, right.</p>
<p>We'll hide a plant over there, honey, because I don't want to be accused of anything. That's how ridiculous our culture is on not giving me an opportunity to help when I see an opportunity to help. Right. When we ask someone for a favor and let's just assume that it's a favor, that's actually helpful. We are giving [00:39:00] someone an opportunity to share</p>
<p>what's already inside what we call internal motivation or self determinism to be a contribution. We want to be around people where we have an opportunity to express that. And that request is telling someone here's a relationship</p>
<p>I'm willing to offer your relationship, that you're seeking, that our culture is largely keeping away from you because we've largely commoditized our relationship to one another.</p>
<p>And I get really upset when I hear people come up with new ways to manipulate others in relationships. Um, really training us all to be scam artists just at a mild enough level that we won't get burned. Right? No. Cause my work is about how do we connect people authenticly. And, uh, not quite every day, I'm contacted by somebody who largely wants to manipulate people.</p>
<p>And, uh, they recognize that our culture is desperate for connection [00:40:00] and community. And so they find me, but all they really want to do is manipulate people. They want more views clicks. Log-ons posts pick one.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:08] So how, how do you, how do you keep that from happening Charles?</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:40:13] I cannot, uh, you know, we're in a time where, uh, this is going to sound terrible.</p>
<p>Marketers have, or many people say this many, many, many, many marketers have accurately figured out that we're desperate for connection and community. And so they use the term community and connection to what they've done for generations, which is extract. Now the extraction, as I said, is clicks log-ons posts, views, eyeballs, uh, comments.</p>
<p>But it's still extraction. They want something from me that benefits their brand and their they'd like to do it with that, with that, with as little output from them and said differently with as little contribution to me [00:41:00] as they can arrange, I'll give you my favorite example of how pure this has gotten in our culture. My friend of mine, friend of mine sent me an article about how a venture capital firm had created a video celebrating how one of their investment companies was using community for success and I'm a community expert.</p>
<p>So he sent it to me to show me, look, Charles, the world is finally caught up with what you're talking about. So I clicked on this video and it was this young tech CEO of a gaming company. Celebrating how they had a very successful launch of their game. And one of the things they did is they had a beta version of the game online that people could play.</p>
<p>And then they created a contest for those players at the beta version to have the best clip of them playing this game and to submit it to the company and the company would choose however many would win and they would get highlighted. And then there was an award for sending in a winning clip. [00:42:00] Then weeks later, when the company launched the game, they knew there were all these beta users who had clips of the game already cut because they'd submitted for the competition and they encouraged them to post them on the launch date.</p>
<p>And so the internet was filled with clips of this beta game on the launch day and the way they framed that was we turned the community and encourage the community to help us with the launch. Well in my work, if I did, I know you're a fan of my work. I define community as a group of people who share mutual concern for one another,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:38] which is different from a group,</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:42:40] right?</p>
<p>Well, me playing a video game, that's brand new and taking a clip and submitting it, doesn't connect me with anybody else. It doesn't generate a relationship of mutual concern. It doesn't commit me to helping other people's welfare. I'm a customer. In this case, the beta customer posting a clip is not a commitment to community.</p>
<p>It's [00:43:00] posting a clip in any other generation, this would be called beta customers, you know, posting a clip online, but because of this era, the way it's articulated to the public, to their investors, to the investors, there's case, the venture capital's firm, um, celebrating this, it's called a community supporting a launch.</p>
<p>It's all B S and the problem with this is this is stealing our language of what we actually need. We actually had a community, we actually needed a relationship. We actually had people who look out for one another. We actually need people to support one another. When they take a risk and launch something new.</p>
<p>When marketers steal that language from us, what are we left with? Because my work is not about how to manipulate video game players, to post a clip, to help some firm make money on a launch. I'm not against it, but that's not what community is.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:58] Can I say what? I [00:44:00] think we are left with action. I mean, it's what you and I Matt. We were talking about years ago is just bringing, just not paying attention to any of that, you know, shutting everything down and actually going out, arm-in-arm having a coffee. And creating things together and not paying attention to all these words that people have hijacked, like even the word love, I think that we can just turn our backs on it, but I guess boycott all of that.</p>
<p> And getting down to the very basic basic of life, which is being quiet at first, bringing a meal together somehow together like stone soup. I have a pot, someone has water, someone has a carrot, someone has an onion and we all [00:45:00] bring that in together and not worry about the external marketing speak or the industry out there.</p>
<p> I just see it on so many levels. On a social level. I see it on an environmental level. Like, you know, I feel like it's the, it's all these companies that are destroying the planet. I can do everything in my power. We're vegan. We, we have very little foot imprint on the planet, but our, our little beings here,  what influence do we truly have when these huge corporations take over everything?</p>
<p>And they're making a huge mess, how can I clean that up? But if, if we just turn our backs on everything, which would, I guess, be a revolution of its kind, it wouldn't be good. It would be a total upheaval. I don't know how it would work because we're, so everything is so intertwined [00:46:00] that you can't disconnect is the problem probably.</p>
<p>Right. But how can we start? How can we,</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:46:07] we're doing it now? We're naming. We're naming the problem and we're putting language to it. And you know, I'm looking forward to the day where marketers are embarrassed for stealing the language of connection community to Hawk, something we're not there. Maybe it's a pipe dream that we'll ever get there, but I'm looking forward.</p>
<p>Uh, you know, what's come to mind is no Pepsi was embarrassed when they made that ad that was tone deaf about the protest, the United States last year about racial inequality. Somebody got embarrassed because we could see boldly that they were just, co-opting something that's really important for our culture to hock sugar water.</p>
<p>And maybe if you and I and other broadcasters called this out, um, marketers will start becoming [00:47:00] embarrassed for stealing this language to hawk something. My example of video games.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:04] Yeah. I mean, we can take it back to the school yard. If enough of us get together in a circle and start laughing at the bully or laughing at, you know, that it makes it stop.</p>
<p>Like we're going to do our own thing. You are ridiculous over here. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. But  it's about coming together. I mean, that's, it,  it's as simple as that, but it's really hard to get through all the noise,</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:47:33] push back on that Fawn. I don't think it's as simple as that.</p>
<p>I think we're fighting many, many trends that make it really difficult, which is why we're more lonely than ever before. And when we make it sound simple, when you say that, what I think is it, it dishonors the struggle that everybody alive in our culture is facing that has gotten us here. You know, we're at a time where our relationships are largely commodified.</p>
<p>Uh, you know, [00:48:00] it's a very simple, maybe even a tried example. It used to be when you had to take an airplane flight, you had to find a friend to give you a ride, right. Or it was this whole logistic expensive thing to figure out where to park. And now it's literally a, a button, right? Is that bad? No.</p>
<p>Obviously finding rides quickly is not bad. It is evidence of a commodification of our culture. That is the context of our relationships. Right. And you know, that you want to be the person who helps friends get to the airport when they're visiting her parents. And there's a two hour hoopla about finding parking and paying for it and then getting from the parking lot to you want to be that friend, right.</p>
<p>So, you know, that's going on. Another one is the wealth disparity also means, as you mentioned, people are just in survival mode, they're busy. And if you're busy, you don't have time to just have that coffee. Just have that beer, just go walk. Kids get hungry. My understanding is millions of kids are hungry every day in [00:49:00] this country.</p>
<p>Uh, those parents don't have time to just have coffee. I wish they would. And if they did, we'd be better. You know, another problem.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:11] Can I interject, please? Don't lose that thought. Please keep your thought. But it is simple because if we for, okay, so this goes, so, all right, so I'm an architectural photographer.</p>
<p>And one of the things that really gets me is how our structures are there structuring our lives. Every structure I look at all the buildings that are created, even a simple park bench. Everything is situated so it's separate from everyone. So we don't talk. I'm six inches away from so many neighbors.</p>
<p>Each wall has a different neighbor, six inches. How deep is a wall, right? Six inches probably. But. Don't know each other. They don't want to know me. I'm like, [00:50:00] Hey. And they ignore me. Not all of them, but if we were to come together, if we all actually live together, because we do live together, there was a six inch little curtain basically, but we live together so we can have that coffee, but we don't.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:50:17] So you're, you're not wrong. And that you're physically apart by six inches,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:22] but</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:50:23] the misunderstanding goes or rather the, the limited understanding is the physical world is only one aspect of our experience. There's also the linguistic. There's the cultural, there's the economic, the legal, uh, there are people I'm afraid to talk to because I think within minutes and start yelling at me if I say what I want to say, um, uh, I'll give you an example. Um, I go to my wife's family is in Dallas. I'm literally a coastal author who works with, uh, tech companies [00:51:00] who goes to yoga four times a week. When I first started visiting my wife's family in Texas, she told me, don't tell anybody what you think, what you do or what you believe now.</p>
<p>I don't think that was good advice because that was a perfect recipe for people to not like me and think that I'm standoffish and never understand me and never have a relationship with me. Fair enough. But note, there was something in the air in the, we'll just say the culture that made her say to her boyfriend, don't tell people what you think, what you believe or what you do.</p>
<p>Other than that have a good time. Now, now fair enough. That is an extreme example, but note, that's real. And there wasn't even a six inch wall between me and my now in-laws when I met them. Okay. So let us be, lets us honor all of the planes of reality that are influencing us when we see people are so desperately lonely, our surgeon [00:52:00] general, honest to God wrote a whole book about it.</p>
<p>Yes. Our surgeon general, right? Yes. Is writing about this because it's such a crisis. Can we, can we, is that when someone says all we have to do, it's just really a matter of read this paragraph, apply it to your life. And this thing that surgeon general Murthy wrote a whole book about this is all going to become irrelevant.</p>
<p>Well, BS, we've gotten here by creating a complicated mess and it was easy to resolve. It would be resolved already, and it's a mess and it's expensive. It's literally painful. And in many, many, many, many cases it's killing us. Yeah. I mean, I'll tell you when I talked to military leaders who  reach out to me, they don't reach out to me because what they really want is for soldiers to hug more.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:48] Yeah. What I wanted to ask you about that? What is that? W how do you work with the U S army? What do they want, what are they, what are they looking for?</p>
<p>[00:53:00] <strong>Charles: </strong>[00:53:00] I have to speak in the most general terms. Of course. Uh, not because anything that I'm doing is secret, but conversations are shared with me that are not meant to be, of course broadly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:10] I honor that.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:53:11] So I can see in those general terms, they're very senior people in the military. I don't even know where to begin.</p>
<p>I didn't know. We're gonna ask about this. I didn't prepare my thoughts. Um, one indicator. The problem in the crisis in the military is the very well publicized statistics that a us service members are killing themselves at rates that are unprecedented and in many units, um, unfortunately soldiers are killing themselves faster than the enemy can.</p>
<p>And the fact that we have a culture that asks people to do very, very [00:54:00] difficult things, and then doesn't have a way to support them when they do that for whatever else is true for us is a profound tragedy and the suicide numbers are a lagging indicator of a much, much bigger problem. And among the problem that's going on, that's led us to have these statistics in our country, uh, is the reality that soldiers don't have enough support in their lives to get through the challenges, the challenges when they're in service and the challenges when they come home and for every service member that's hurting themselves or thinking of hurting themselves, or is on a path where they might get there, their families, their neighbors, their buddies, and their coworkers, we're all impacted.</p>
<p>And it's a unspeakable tragedy. [00:55:00] And if we could solve it, we would have solved it. And right now nothing is working enough. And so the conversations that I have is to explore what can we do that might make a difference to this horrific mess we've created over one generation,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:19] Charles, can I ask what we have done that maybe is not working?</p>
<p>Like what has been done?</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:55:25] I'm not an expert in this, and there are literally thousands of experts that can speak to how, uh, active duty and veterans are being served. As I understand it, um, untold hundreds of millions of dollars for them spent in clinical efforts and, um, talk therapy, drugs. And I know that because these are probably the conversations that are brought to me about these efforts that we're using.</p>
<p>They're not in any way adequate. And my understanding is there's over [00:56:00] 60,000, non-profits in this country alone to serve veterans. And each one of those is making their effort, hopefully with the right heart to make a difference. And obviously this is inadequate as well. So everything from literally pancake meals to hunting trips, to fishing, to yoga, to fishing traditions, like all of these efforts are being made by untold hundreds of thousands of people trying to make a difference.</p>
<p>And the numbers not only are bad, they're getting worse. And again, I don't want to make it sound like it's all about suicide because it's not, that is only one lagging indicator of a much bigger problem. And whatever else is true, we, as a country have asked many, many people to go into harm's way to do things that at some level, many people think are important.</p>
<p>Now, whether those were all saying things, whether they were moral things, [00:57:00] whether things we'd ever do again, those are much bigger conversations. We can agree that people have gone to do things that have harmed them forever</p>
<p>and overwhelmingly, as my understanding overwhelmingly believing they're doing it to protect others and to serve a country that's taken care of them. And it's a deep tragedy that we can't find a way to handle this. And it's not because, and let me be really clear. It's not because. This is not due to missing concern or missing commitment to find a way.</p>
<p> <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:38] Any, any thoughts, man? I feel like, I feel like we're on the verge of figuring it out. I really do.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[00:57:48] I hope you're right. I do. I feel</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:53] like there's like 85, 4 million things to figure out like literally for every single [00:58:00] person on earth, there may be a different nuanced answer that's going to work.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:05] And I feel like for every group, for every person that's hurting, there's another group that's hurting just as much.</p>
<p>Well, w we're all, we're all feeling it. Yes. You know, the children are also feeling.  They may not have gone into battle, but they're feeling it. And there's as much pain with the little children. There's much as much loneliness there too. And I can tell you as a mother, I feel it. I feel it looking at an elderly person or I feel it when I look at someone who's been to war as if they're my child, I'm feeling it.</p>
<p>And I think that's one of the things we don't acknowledge is that we are feeling each other's pain and it's so big that we don't know what to do. And that's why people have inane [00:59:00] conversations like, hi, how are you? Fine. How are you? Do you know what I mean? There is no capacity. There is no there's no, what's the word.</p>
<p>You don't have the ability to even start thinking about your pain, because it's so big, but the longer we go on without telling each other stories, the longer we go on keeping things to ourselves, for whatever reason, out of shame or out of like, you don't want to, you don't want to burden someone with your thoughts or your experience.</p>
<p>The longer we do that, the worse things get. And at least we can have some conversations today.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:59:43] And every day conversation is extremely important. I think, as a society, you know, heaven help me me any, any time I have any issue, period, you know, tell me how to fix it right now. Give me the magic, give me the silver bullet, give me the one stupid trick that'll allow me to lose 80 [01:00:00] pounds or  whatever. And sometimes that quick fix looks like scrolling through Pinterest and I get that, you know, and ultimately I feel like I'm digging that hole deeper. But  I can avoid it for a minute and avoiding it for a minute kind of feels good,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:19] but see that's what you do you avoid.</p>
<p>Yes. I like to jump in and fix it right away because I know other stuff is going to come along. There's going to be the next wave. I'm like, let me get rid of this right now. Not get rid of it, but like deal with it, clear it up. So I'm ready for the next wave. And I can ride it instead of the wave crashing down on me and sucking me with a current and like having me drown.</p>
<p>We need to  have conversation. These conversations are really important.</p>
<p> We're not sponsored by anyone on this show. We're not making money. I'd like to, but we don't. Do [01:01:00] you know what I mean? This is real talk here. This is real conversation. I do believe in my heart of heart everybody that we are on what's the precipice precipice is a good word. What's the definition.</p>
<p>Sometimes words</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:12] come to me right on the edge. Let's call it the edge of,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:14] shall we? I think we're on the precipice. Thank you. Um, crossing over.  It's really painful right now. Everybody is in pain, but I do believe the more we talk about it, the clearer things will become. And  we'll be able to take a deep breath, uh, healing the breath, because remember we talk about this on the show with martial arts, with yoga, the key to vital energy, the vital life force is breath.</p>
<p>We need to take a breath. It's like we're going from one trauma to the next.  Time is moving faster than ever before,  we're going into a whole new [01:02:00] era and things are speeding up, but what's also speeding of is the ability to heal the ability to understand each other, the ability to feel clear, the ability to take a breath.</p>
<p>And I'm sorry. I know, I know it sounds so trite. I'm not a scholar, I'm a street person, but it's as simple as a breath right now. That's what we have. And then beyond the breath we have our voice. That's another means  for creating manifestation, for creating a better world, using our voices, to tell stories and using our ears to truly hear each other and feel each other energetically, spiritually, physically.</p>
<p>No, you have to get back to basics</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:02:48] using our voices, to express our vulnerabilities and express our support for others when they express their</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:53] vulnerability and taking back the words from these jerks who are using all our [01:03:00] vulnerability, our love and stealing our words from us to make it so meaningless.</p>
<p>But what's not meaningless is our emotions.</p>
<p>  Hello?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:15] Just felt like he dropped the mic there. Huh?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:18] It's a conversation to continue. Yes.</p>
<p>And maybe, you know, I did say I wanted to go deep, there's a lot to break down, it's not very good of a vegan to say this. I, can we come up with another example of how do we solve this problem? But you know what? The elephant you take a bite out of an elephant, one elephant, one bite.</p>
<p>Can we, is there another way we can describe that? I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:43] journey of a thousand miles begins with one step</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:46] baby steps and then that baby grows and runs. They run fast babies. We know that right. As parents, she zoom, zoom.  Can [01:04:00] we carry on this conversation to another day and get into another topic regarding the same subject,  bring some clarity and  find ways in which we can actually create that utopia.</p>
<p>Am I a Pollyanna? I'm a Fawn and I can tell you, I feel good things coming for us. Usually when we experienced such pain, it's at the moment of birth and there will be some release</p>
<p>and maybe that's evolution.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:04:31] We don't normally have pauses. This is interesting.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:34] I hate pauses actually.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[01:04:40] Anyways, you don't have pauses cause people just jump in.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:45] I don't like it when people get quiet because I get ignored a lot.  I'll usually  bring up a subject,  for example, with Matt's parents who are so opposite us and I'll say something and they'll just ignore it so that there will be, they can go on for [01:05:00] minutes.</p>
<p>No one will say anything. No one will acknowledge what I  said</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[01:05:04] is that how they are with other people</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:05:07] sometimes. But they're inside of their own very insulated tribe, which is yet another kind of a story. Like if I don't ever see another worldview, I assume everybody thinks just exactly the same way I do.</p>
<p>And they're just like me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:23] They're very hardcore. Um, what, um, you know, politically like very, to the right, to the right and we're vegan and very much, I don't, I don't like to be put in any box. I don't like left or right. But</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[01:05:38] I like to be in the winning box. That's another conversation</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:41] I would like to have my own universe and like be free.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[01:05:45] So I don't know what conversations you're reflecting on. Um, I think quite frankly, one of the things that our culture needs is a lot more silence and pauses. I</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:53] read that we're hiring</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[01:05:55] a time where I don't even know if I can go 20 minutes without something, grabbing my [01:06:00] attention. And, you know, I say that as if it's disembodied, like something grabbing my attention, but who are we kidding?</p>
<p>Uh, there are people paid a lot of money to figure out how to grab my attention all the time. Somebody is trying to grab my attention. And when we try to fill space constantly. It doesn't leave the room for the, the reflection. And I've learned, there are many people that just need time to process something, to have something cogent, to say in response.</p>
<p>And if I don't give them that time, they never get it. And so the pause, uh, can be a way of honoring. It can be a way of saying, I don't need you to fill this time when you're with me. And you can take the time that you need to decide what you want to contribute and do it in the way you want to do it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:06:55] I read that about you, Charles, how you hold silence for [01:07:00] people that are grieving.</p>
<p>And I got to say, I was like, when, when there's that kind of silence, especially when I'm grieving, maybe it's because of my culture, but I feel like I'm suffocating. I need to hear something. I need someone to talk to me.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[01:07:20] Well, there's nothing wrong with that Fawn. I think the opportunity is to recognize for other people, that side of this can mean something profoundly different.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:26] I honor that</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[01:07:28] because when I provide people silence, it's a matter of honoring them and in my life, the best friends and the best times are the people where we don't have to talk</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:41] Well, do we put a pretty little bow on it for today?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:07:47] I don't think we've got a pretty little bow today.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:49] That's a pretty little boat. Charles just gave us a pretty little bow. Fair enough. So with that silence, with  that breath we will say, I will [01:08:00] say that I love you all out there. Thank you for being in our circle of friendship.</p>
<p>Thank you for spreading the art of friendship, because what we're doing here is truly in a very peaceful, beautiful way. Like a flower blossoming is totally revolutionary, and we will get through this, you know, revolution and talks about circles reminded me of  how everything is circular. The breath is circular.</p>
<p>Everything nature goes in cycles. There may be pain right now, but nothing lasts forever.</p>
<p>  We will make things better every day. So with that, folks, we'll see you in a few days. And Charles, I want to thank you so much for being. I know that everyone is clamoring for your attention and rightly so, you are a beautiful genius and so loving and compassionate, [01:09:00] and the world is so blessed to have you in it.</p>
<p>Charles. Thank you. Thank you for your beautiful work and thank you for joining us today.</p>
<p><strong>Charles: </strong>[01:09:10] Um, I'm delighted to</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:09:11] be welcomed here. Hopefully we will continue this friendship, Charles. We love you, and we love you all out there. Thank you. All the countries that are listening to us.</p>
<p>Thank you. We are one. We are interconnected and I'm so blessed by this connection. Thank you. I'll talk to you in a few days. Everybody be well, bye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This episode we focus on Revolution vs Evolution and the Art of A Coherent Community During Turbulent Times and we begin with the etymology of revolution: to turn; to roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family; the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution. 
Revolution is also a change in paradigm.
Evolution is an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up.
We discuss the  cause of fear and division. Fawn gives the example of Santa Monica and how the utopia bubble was getting thin, when things became more (here's the four letter word - "busy"), where people began becoming more and more busy, didn't play as often, didn't have happy hour meals as often and began to get quiet in conversation. The family began to dwindle. The free, wild, uncontrollable laughter  didn't happen as much. Things felt more and more serious and soon began that new normal.
 
So what's the lesson here and this tiny bit of time in this tiny bit of community is the basis for our conversation today? How does revolution ignite in a peaceful heart? How can we turn it around? Here at our friendly world, we always say that friendship is the key to what ails our society. It is the key to social economic and racial conflict. Because when we see  how supported we are, that we are better, stronger together, as we say, we help each other with all aspects of life, we are wealthy, we are not alone and we value each other.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Hi, again, I'm so excited I  picked up this book just a little bit ago. Right. And, um, the way I came across this book was really crazy because I was researching something that has nothing to do with anything, but somehow, I mean, whoa, wait a second.
Matt: [00:00:21] I would say it's kind of central to
Fawn: [00:00:23] everything. Okay. What was happening was I was doing research for something that kind of had something to do with the podcast, but anyway, in a universal roundabout way, I was guided to this book and I got it right away. I'm like, I can't believe that, that title. Okay.
I've actually talked about this book on the last episode we totally got into it.  This  person is here today. I will introduce him in just a second, but you know, I like to  give you nuggets of wisdom.
 I'm obsessed with etymology of words and everything and trying to figure out how in the heck did this happen.  I looked up revolution and I promised like, [00:01:00] I wouldn't use words like that on this podcast, but here I go. Okay. The etymology of a revolution, I can't even say it it's to turn; to roll back.
Now, remember that turn roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally  meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family, you know, the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution, another meaning is the rotation of a celestial body on its axis
motion of any figure about a center or access. Okay. Like a sudden radical. I know it was just getting too wordy, whatever, whatever a sudden radical or a complete change. Also a change in paradigm. And then I'm like, okay, well what about [00:02:00] evolution, revolution, evolution? And  to me , it looks like the same thing to me, evolution and revolution.
 Evolution, remember I said revolution. Remember it means turn roll back. It's interesting because I found evolution was an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up. So...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:16:23</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Plan with Guest Heather Lawrence]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 15 Aug 2021 01:02:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-the-plan-with-guest-heather-lawrence</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-the-plan-with-guest-heather-lawrence</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Heather Lawrence joins us as we discuss the art of the plan and what it is. What's the plan?</p>
<p> How do you know it's your plan? Is there a higher plan? Is there truly free will?</p>
<p> What is the purpose of each person? How can we decipher between our purpose as apposed to someone else's thing; how do we know it's your deal or if it's feeling FOMO.</p>
<p> Is there, is there a grand scheme? Is there a divine plan?</p>
<p>How do we become  a vibrational match to the plan that we have been wanting?</p>
<p>Can we plan? Should we be planning? You always hear that phrase. You know, if you want to hear God laugh, make a plan.  Aren't we working as a team here?</p>
<p>Heather explains how the universe wants to get us to accept things the way they are not reject the way they are.</p>
<p>How can we get through it all????</p>
<p>How to be an authentic match to your dreams.</p>
<p>How to be in alignment</p>
<p>This episode we ask the questions and ponder the answers.</p>
<p><strong>To reach Heather:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/the_advizer/?hl=en">https://www.instagram.com/the_advizer/?hl=en</a></strong></p>
<p><strong>Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/theadvizerr/videos/">https://www.facebook.com/theadvizerr/videos/</a></strong></p>
<p><strong>TikTok: <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@the_advizer111?lang=en">https://www.tiktok.com/@the_advizer111?lang=en</a></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Welcome to our friendly world. Hello? Hello? Hello. What is the plan, Matt? What's the plan. If I take a nugget of wisdom. Okay. You just asked me what nugget would you use today? Yes. So today's episode, everyone is called the art of the plan and we have a special friend with us that I'll introduce you to in just a second, but the art of a plan.</p>
<p>I mean, I never wanted to go back to LA. That was not my plan. When do you know, it's your plan? Is there a higher plan? Is there free will. I mean, you know, sometimes most of my life I feel like, okay, I know, I feel that the right thing, I feel the answer. I know the universe, you know, I feel like I'm part of it.</p>
<p>So of course I know what's up, but sometimes I'm like, well, what, what is it like what's happening? What is, is there a plan? Because [00:01:00] I don't know. Sometimes I just don't know. What is the purpose of each person? How can we decipher between our purpose? You know, your true purpose from something. You you're drawn to, it could be someone else's thing.</p>
<p>Right. And you're looking at them and you're feeling FOMO. So you think their plan is your plan. Do you know what I'm saying?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:25] Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. You can get totally sucked into somebody's reality in many ways that  if somebody is really into something and like you hang out with them, then all of a sudden you're like, wow, that's super cool.</p>
<p>Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. And you may think that, you should just stop doing what you're doing and start doing what this other person's doing for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:42] Yeah.</p>
<p>I, I equate it. I equate everything to eating. So it's like going to a restaurant and you think, you know what you want to order. And then someone orders tiramisu, and you're like, I want Tiramisu too.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:52] I remember going to a sushi place and ordering a certain kind of sushi. And then all of a sudden, everybody around me started ordering it. It was quite funny.</p>
<p>[00:02:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:00] So how do you know that that's happening? Some bizarre things happen in life. Some hard things happen in life and there must be a purpose to it all.</p>
<p>Is there a purpose purpose of that? I can't even stay at purpose. Is there, is there a grand scheme? Is there a plan that one would say, if you want to use the G word is a...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Heather Lawrence joins us as we discuss the art of the plan and what it is. What's the plan?
 How do you know it's your plan? Is there a higher plan? Is there truly free will?
 What is the purpose of each person? How can we decipher between our purpose as apposed to someone else's thing; how do we know it's your deal or if it's feeling FOMO.
 Is there, is there a grand scheme? Is there a divine plan?
How do we become  a vibrational match to the plan that we have been wanting?
Can we plan? Should we be planning? You always hear that phrase. You know, if you want to hear God laugh, make a plan.  Aren't we working as a team here?
Heather explains how the universe wants to get us to accept things the way they are not reject the way they are.
How can we get through it all????
How to be an authentic match to your dreams.
How to be in alignment
This episode we ask the questions and ponder the answers.
To reach Heather:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_advizer/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theadvizerr/videos/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_advizer111?lang=en
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Welcome to our friendly world. Hello? Hello? Hello. What is the plan, Matt? What's the plan. If I take a nugget of wisdom. Okay. You just asked me what nugget would you use today? Yes. So today's episode, everyone is called the art of the plan and we have a special friend with us that I'll introduce you to in just a second, but the art of a plan.
I mean, I never wanted to go back to LA. That was not my plan. When do you know, it's your plan? Is there a higher plan? Is there free will. I mean, you know, sometimes most of my life I feel like, okay, I know, I feel that the right thing, I feel the answer. I know the universe, you know, I feel like I'm part of it.
So of course I know what's up, but sometimes I'm like, well, what, what is it like what's happening? What is, is there a plan? Because [00:01:00] I don't know. Sometimes I just don't know. What is the purpose of each person? How can we decipher between our purpose? You know, your true purpose from something. You you're drawn to, it could be someone else's thing.
Right. And you're looking at them and you're feeling FOMO. So you think their plan is your plan. Do you know what I'm saying?
Matt: [00:01:25] Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. You can get totally sucked into somebody's reality in many ways that  if somebody is really into something and like you hang out with them, then all of a sudden you're like, wow, that's super cool.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. And you may think that, you should just stop doing what you're doing and start doing what this other person's doing for sure.
Fawn: [00:01:42] Yeah.
I, I equate it. I equate everything to eating. So it's like going to a restaurant and you think, you know what you want to order. And then someone orders tiramisu, and you're like, I want Tiramisu too.
Matt: [00:01:52] I remember going to a sushi place and ordering a certain kind of sushi. And then all of a sudden, everybody around me started ordering it. It was quite funny.
[00:02:00] Fawn: [00:02:00] So how do you know that that's happening? Some bizarre things happen in life. Some hard things happen in life and there must be a purpose to it all.
Is there a purpose purpose of that? I can't even stay at purpose. Is there, is there a grand scheme? Is there a plan that one would say, if you want to use the G word is a...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of the Plan with Guest Heather Lawrence]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Heather Lawrence joins us as we discuss the art of the plan and what it is. What's the plan?</p>
<p> How do you know it's your plan? Is there a higher plan? Is there truly free will?</p>
<p> What is the purpose of each person? How can we decipher between our purpose as apposed to someone else's thing; how do we know it's your deal or if it's feeling FOMO.</p>
<p> Is there, is there a grand scheme? Is there a divine plan?</p>
<p>How do we become  a vibrational match to the plan that we have been wanting?</p>
<p>Can we plan? Should we be planning? You always hear that phrase. You know, if you want to hear God laugh, make a plan.  Aren't we working as a team here?</p>
<p>Heather explains how the universe wants to get us to accept things the way they are not reject the way they are.</p>
<p>How can we get through it all????</p>
<p>How to be an authentic match to your dreams.</p>
<p>How to be in alignment</p>
<p>This episode we ask the questions and ponder the answers.</p>
<p><strong>To reach Heather:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/the_advizer/?hl=en">https://www.instagram.com/the_advizer/?hl=en</a></strong></p>
<p><strong>Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/theadvizerr/videos/">https://www.facebook.com/theadvizerr/videos/</a></strong></p>
<p><strong>TikTok: <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@the_advizer111?lang=en">https://www.tiktok.com/@the_advizer111?lang=en</a></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Welcome to our friendly world. Hello? Hello? Hello. What is the plan, Matt? What's the plan. If I take a nugget of wisdom. Okay. You just asked me what nugget would you use today? Yes. So today's episode, everyone is called the art of the plan and we have a special friend with us that I'll introduce you to in just a second, but the art of a plan.</p>
<p>I mean, I never wanted to go back to LA. That was not my plan. When do you know, it's your plan? Is there a higher plan? Is there free will. I mean, you know, sometimes most of my life I feel like, okay, I know, I feel that the right thing, I feel the answer. I know the universe, you know, I feel like I'm part of it.</p>
<p>So of course I know what's up, but sometimes I'm like, well, what, what is it like what's happening? What is, is there a plan? Because [00:01:00] I don't know. Sometimes I just don't know. What is the purpose of each person? How can we decipher between our purpose? You know, your true purpose from something. You you're drawn to, it could be someone else's thing.</p>
<p>Right. And you're looking at them and you're feeling FOMO. So you think their plan is your plan. Do you know what I'm saying?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:25] Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. You can get totally sucked into somebody's reality in many ways that  if somebody is really into something and like you hang out with them, then all of a sudden you're like, wow, that's super cool.</p>
<p>Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. And you may think that, you should just stop doing what you're doing and start doing what this other person's doing for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:42] Yeah.</p>
<p>I, I equate it. I equate everything to eating. So it's like going to a restaurant and you think, you know what you want to order. And then someone orders tiramisu, and you're like, I want Tiramisu too.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:52] I remember going to a sushi place and ordering a certain kind of sushi. And then all of a sudden, everybody around me started ordering it. It was quite funny.</p>
<p>[00:02:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:00] So how do you know that that's happening? Some bizarre things happen in life. Some hard things happen in life and there must be a purpose to it all.</p>
<p>Is there a purpose purpose of that? I can't even stay at purpose. Is there, is there a grand scheme? Is there a plan that one would say, if you want to use the G word is a God's plan is a divine plan. Is there a divine is a, is there a higher plan?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:25] And if there is, what do I have to do with it? I'm just a small little hobbit in the, in spite of it</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:31] all.</p>
<p>Am I, I mean, I am God too. You, our God, aren't we? Yes. Yeah. But I don't, I'm sweating anyway. So I'm thinking about that. And I'm thinking, I, I, if what is free will then? I just, sometimes if you really get into it and if you let every, the flotsam and jetsam flying around your head, It can get a little [00:03:00] maddening.</p>
<p> I don't know.  We have a friend here today that is a seer.  She is, oh boy, wait, wait, wait before. Okay. So the nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. I did not want to go. I did not want to go. I did not want to stay in LA and it, it sucked me back and I knew she wanted something. I knew I had to be in LA.</p>
<p>All right. I didn't know what LA wanted, but I'm like fine. Those of you who want to get the whole story go to the very, very first episode and it explains all that, but you know, it did, it was the whole reason for the friendship movement. For me being there, there was, it was a total true apprenticeship for me from Santa Monica.</p>
<p>Anyway, so here we are today with a friend who. Is a seer. She is Heather Lawrence. She's a TV personality  and she's a host she's a really good card reader. She's an expert actually. She's on news outlets. She does red [00:04:00] carpets. I'm going to let her explain to you.</p>
<p> I want you to meet Heather Lawrence, Heather. Thank you so much for being here.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:04:08] Hey. Hi. How are you? Hi, how's it going? 4th of July, 4th</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:13] of July.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:04:14] So how are you always fourth.</p>
<p>The July here in America.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:18] Yes. Bang. Bang. Oh, which is well, I'm sorry. I don't like fire, fire.</p>
<p>I don't mind the parade. It's the fire. Everything is so violent.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:04:32] I agree, my least favorite holiday. Really? The holidays.</p>
<p>Yeah. I don't, I'm starting to care</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:39] Have you seen those pictures of birds who suddenly dropped dead from the sky after fireworks.  It's not okay. I don't like balloons and I don't like fireworks.</p>
<p>It just reminds me of war. I don't like it. Scary. Yeah. It's an</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:04:53] excuse. It's like a weird holiday excuse for people who have this weird thing about blowing things up. [00:05:00] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:01] I'm sure there are other ways we can look at things in the sky and have it be beautiful and go. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:05:07] So yes, except for  Disneyland. They do a good light show.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:12] So Heather, I told them people you were coming on. Am I, do you have any questions for Heather? So we got some questions.   Let me just go down the list. Okay. So. Of course Heather, you work with lots of people, you work with lots of personalities, um, especially in Hollywood.</p>
<p>And one of the questions is why is LA such the hotspot for all this? Like I grew up around this I'm obviously from LA well, like we are so open to it. It's therapy going, getting readings done and like totally going into that realm. So seriously, it's, it's like as a matter of fact, . But you didn't do that.</p>
<p>You were from more south California, matt, are [00:06:00] you going to talk?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:00] I am. And, and yes, I grew up on the border of LA and orange counties in Southern California.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:07] Heather, we want to know what is going on.</p>
<p>Matt wants to know,  is there an uptick in what people want to know lately? Like what are the questions people keep asking, like as a population, as a</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:06:18] whole, he asked me to most, well, most people are asking about their work or romance. So that's the biggest, uh, the really big is, uh, in the COVID though, some people will ask about their health.</p>
<p>So some people do a lot, or a lot of people don't want to know about their health. So they'll say, which is weird. They'll say like, don't tell me about my health. I don't want to know. And they may ask about a relative's health, but in the COVID I felt like people asked about if they were going to be okay.</p>
<p>But most of all, it's, asking about how someone feels about them. Like another person's, you know, cause you're, you're married and everything, so you're not going to be, but I do get married people calling me and asking me, serious things like,  should I stay in the marriage? Should I not?</p>
<p>It's most of the relationships are number one and [00:07:00] business.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:02] So, but, but is that shifted because what we're seeing, I think in the world right now, especially quote unquote, coming out of COVID,  I read an article this week that said 40% of people are looking for a new job, for instance, and we're seeing a massive amount of home buying happening right now.</p>
<p>It's totally a sellers market because everybody wants to buy a house. Everybody wants to quote unquote, upgrade their lives it feels like, and  they're even saying things like hourly employees because of the unemployment benefits, they're being more selective and choosy. And so we're seeing things like burger king offering a $1,500 signing bonus and all sorts of strangeness.</p>
<p>And it really feels like once again, we've kind of lived in this world where, all the rules seem to be getting rewritten every, every year, every 18 months, every six months, every, you know, when we've been in this rapid fire ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. So coming out of the pandemic, are you seeing a change in the things people are interested in.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:07:59] Oh, yeah, [00:08:00] yeah. No, that level, yes, absolutely. People are more questioning what they're doing. Correct. Correct. The relationships they are there, there are you're right there. Aren't going to upgrade more than downgrade because they had so much time to spend with themselves in their thoughts. So a lot of things come up or they're in relationships where they spend a lot of time at home and they're realizing what what's really important to them.</p>
<p>So that's why upgrades. So some people you're right about home buying. I think that's more about you. We spend so much time at home now. So you really want your experience at home to be good. You realize, you know what, I want to live in a better place. You had so much time to survey the premises of where you were and recognize, I don't really want this.</p>
<p>I want to, I want something better because you're spending more time there. And before spending more time in the office, so you can just come home and you're like, oh, it was good. You know, you weren't awake enough to realize you didn't like where you were.  You spend more time hearing your neighbors being loud. Or you're like, okay, I can't do this.</p>
<p>The cars, the, this, the, that. So yes, upgrade is where people are at, which is actually good. And, you know, I mean, and the work to [00:09:00] you're right. Cause their purpose they're like maybe they don't want to work so hard. It's actually people want more for less. It was probably what it is. They're like, I want more money for less time because they became more valuable during it, with their surroundings became more valuable to them like family, you know?</p>
<p>So they're like, yeah, I want to spend more time with my family. So what you got, I'm not going to do this for that. So it's a funny, right. It's interesting turn. But most people went the right way. I think that is the right way. Probably. So it actually moves the curve a little.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:30] I mean, it's the whole basis of what we've always talked about home and relationships.</p>
<p>And we feel  over the past two decades, especially we have noticed that there has been such a decline in relationships and friendships and the whole, , loneliness epidemic and everything. So, and that's, that's where we came in. It was, we saw it like 20 years ago, this happening, and I saw it from families.</p>
<p>I saw it when I was a little, little kid growing up and noticing the differences and different cultures,  [00:10:00] especially in LA  noticing how this one culture wants their kids out. Like, as soon as they're born</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yet. </p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:10:07] I had the  parents  because they were like, get out,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:09] well, I always heard from other families like my friends,  families saying you're out at 18 you're you're out on your own kid, you know? And they had like a lease 18. Once you're 18 you're out. And just that, that whole vibe I think translated into how we treat each other and how friendships are now, but like, that's, that's a whole drawn out thing.</p>
<p>But going back to the questions I'm just going to pose all the questions that people asked and then we can pick and choose whatever you want to concentrate on. And okay. And then we have some questions too, besides that. So in general, but people that I asked, okay, what do you want me to ask Heather?</p>
<p>They were like, um, can you ask her what the future of the United States will be like? Um, will there ever be a world leader who's a Lightworker or a healer? What's going to [00:11:00] happen with the climate change? Are we gonna fix it? Um, did I already say what's the future of the United States? That that was one.</p>
<p>From the questions that I got, there's a lot of universal anxiety for the future. Like, are we going to make things better? Are we actually going to make it? , or is there more bad stuff coming? Like, what is it more shoes about to drop from the sky? What is going on in general?</p>
<p>And then Heather, when you and I were talking a few days ago, I really liked where our conversation was going, because I'm like, you know, if ideally you could get people to ask a certain way, like, how would the questions  change? And you were like, wouldn't it be great if you could ask,  how do I become a vibrational match to this or that,</p>
<p>  Can we touch on that today? Like how do we become  a vibrational match to the plan that we have been wanting? And then I also want to talk about, like, of course the, [00:12:00] our, the plan is. Can we plan? Should we be planning? You always hear that phrase. You know, if you want to hear God laugh, make a plan that always bothered me because I'm like, wait, aren't we working as a team here?</p>
<p>Like what? I'm not allowed to make a plan and all of that stuff. So let's just get into that. And I also want to talk about,  all your great work out there in the world and the great work you're doing with dogs and, and just, you know what, I I'd like to put it out there to you, Heather, what you think we should focus on what you want us to know, whatever you pick up, let's get into it.</p>
<p>Are you ready, guys? Let's go. Hey Heather. Well turning</p>
<p>it to you.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:12:46] Oh goodness. Well, any of those questions or any. Uh, blends into one because things are the way they are. So people say the universe wants us to deal with the way it is now. We don't, we don't want us to deal with how it's going to get. [00:13:00] Or so that's the first problem.</p>
<p>So you're, if you're okay where you're at, if we're always running from where we're at,  that isn't the answer either.  So we look at it like this, every, whatever the leader of the world or whoever they're there  everything is in perfect timing. So there is no getting better is everything's ebb and flow.</p>
<p>So do they get better? Yeah. And they get worse. So there's never going to be a light at the end of the tunnel where it's perfect. Cause that's not the world. So people are, it's good to aim toward that, but then you also end up a frustrated person because nothing's ever perfect. So I think the universe wants to get us to accept things the way they are not reject the way they are.</p>
<p>That's how we get through it. So, then that answers the question will we  have an enlightened leader. Well, you will, when the world catches up to them, they're just not ready for that. People aren't ready for that. And so, because everybody's in different camps, so the pandemic [00:14:00] was good in a lot of ways, in a lot of ways, it divided a lot of people.</p>
<p>So I think that the world or wherever, whoever God, whoever you believe in, um, says, says, is trying to scream at everybody. We're all equal because the COVID stretched across everybody. Right? It wasn't, it was like people under a rock were told quarantining, right? Famous people, poor people. Everybody was quarantined.</p>
<p>So for once across the board, every everything was the same. Right? You want to get special treatment because your Beyonce right. In the COVID, they don't care. She has to be at home too. So, and then you got the George Floyd case, which sort of like raised a question again of equality. And then it went the other way of saying, it's not,equal</p>
<p>so that is a touchy subject in itself. There's no, there's no mistake that the George Floyd situation happened during the COVID. Cause it's all about the universe says well, everybody's equal and people don't like that here that, so it's like, [00:15:00] well, either we all get that or we get another COVID we get, we get all these things happening because that's what the universe trying to move you toward.</p>
<p> We have to be enlightened before we can have an enlightened leader, because that is the match. We're not a match to as, as a country. Are we a match to an enlightened leader? I don't think so.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:17] Right. Well, we certainly got challenged, around the world.</p>
<p>And it very much drew attention to the fact that we're not equal and sometimes I wonder. You know, obviously it's a good thing for us to be, for us to know for us to feel the pain, but ultimately, does that take us to enlightenment or does that keep us separate?</p>
<p>So if, if we're aiming for utopia, right? So if that's true, that's our goal, you know, well, backup school,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:15:46] society,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:48] society.</p>
<p>I mean, it, I think it'd be very hard to find a person who says that they wouldn't want a world where people are treated fairly and equitably. And, everybody has enough to [00:16:00] eat. Everybody has medical, everybody, you know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And, and I, nobody would at the, on the face of that very simplified view would say no to that.</p>
<p>So is focusing in on the problems helping us towards that goal or not. It's</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:17] not right. I think what Heather, you were saying, it's not, when we focus in on those problems.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:16:22] Oh, it's like, we just have to watch it like a chicken. It's not to acknowledge people in their pain, you know? Cause they are, but you have to remember too, again, being a match.</p>
<p>So if you're walking around saying certain things are happening to you all the time, they just keep happening to you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:37] What you think grows, what you focus on grows</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:16:40] as a whole,  if you keep telling the story, that's the story that continues.</p>
<p>So it's like an endless fight. It won't .People say the fight's  not over. Well, let's hope it gets over soon. Cause we're, it's, that's the weird thing to say. It's not over it's to go. Okay. Well then it will never be, I guess, because. [00:17:00] It's just like, you know, it's you're right. Everybody wants to go toward the same path and ultimately, right, everybody does. So it's like, unless you're completely off the mark, then we should all agree that everybody would like everyone to get along, but we don't all get along. And there are some people who are super ignorant. So there you go.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:17] So if we were to become a vibrational match to something that we want, what do we do?</p>
<p>Like, how do we become the match?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:17:27] That's a good one. So you become the match by, so if you wanted to give a simple example of my clients, I'll say, if you want to work for Disney and you're completely depressed, you probably won't get the job. So you're not in alignment with what they're doing.</p>
<p>If you go to the park, it's all been, you know, if you don't smile, they actually have a smile school. They're not kidding. Like when you get hired that you have to go to like happy school. Cause that's what they're selling. So you can't become something that you're not. So if you're not a match to that, it won't line up with you.</p>
<p>No matter how  hard. You try, if you pretend you are this [00:18:00] and that, that's not being a match. So it'd be an authentic match is to be that in which you would like to become you know, surround yourself in situations which you'd like to produce. So you want to be in alignment with something. So if you're like, when I wanted to have a baby, I was old when I had my son.</p>
<p>But all I would do is curse people who have babies, you know, the truth, right. I would be like under my breath, because if, if someone was pregnant, I'd be upset about that. And my friend was like, well,  good luck I'm having a baby because you're not aligned with having one. And you don't know what these people have been through to have theirs.</p>
<p>And I was like, yeah, you're right.  That's one aspect of it. The other aspect of it was me not being in alignment because I had my own story about becoming a mother. So I was not a vibrational match to having a child. And so I lined all of it up. Hey, I deserve to have a baby. That's been in alignment, not, oh, this will never happen.</p>
<p>I'm just never having kids. I'm gonna keep trying. They're like, well, good luck with that because that's not coming. So that's been a match to something.</p>
<p>[00:19:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:00] So like if I wanted my career to finally happen and I realized that's probably not a good way to say it, it's a bad start. It's kind of negative.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:19:13] No, cause that's everybody wants that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:15] So what. What do I, what do I do? Do I,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:19:20] you are that you see you are that you're already, because like you talked about earlier in the podcast, we were talking about how do we know our purpose? Well, the purpose, you know the purpose because it's in you and so strong in you. So universe drops like a chip in you and says, this is what you're going to do.</p>
<p>When you get to earth, you won't remember what  we just told you, but you gravitate toward it. Whatever that goal is, you have. So universe already says, it's yours. They don't give it to you. So I get to get a claim ticket, pick it up. They'll say, well, it's here, but you got to come get it. So not just handing it to you,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:51] you know, it's something that you shouldn't be doing, but you really want, but you know, like</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:19:57] everything goes wrong.</p>
<p>So [00:20:00] I would just say, it's all perfect. The road to success is, not paved smoothly, but it leads to somewhere. It's leading to the next thing. Even if a door shuts another door opens. So that's how you know. And then what kind of people you say, you'd look at your environment, what's your environment like?</p>
<p>So your environment is not great. It's probably not a match to where you should be going because    it just doesn't resonate. Something we, like you said earlier about God, but what we want may not be with what they want for us. So it's heartbreaking for a lot of people, but it wouldn't make us happy anyway,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:35] see, this is where I'm still stuck. I don't know. I don't know what to do because obviously it's taken me decades with my photography work. When do I know to give up? Should I give up? Should I give up? Well,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:20:48] usually, well, sometimes if you do give up, it comes to you. So it's more about sort of giving up.</p>
<p>It's letting go and then letting it come in and then you can make the decision. So don't  throw the baby [00:21:00] out with the bath water you sort of are like, kinda let it go and see, because if we're pulling so hard, we can't see. So we let go, then it can come in and then obviously you'll figure it out or you'll go in another direction.  The rivers flowing right. Or the flow you to the next thing. But if you're like holding on for dear life, you'll never know that answer. So it's cheesy, but letting go technically, is it  ultimate picture, it's loving yourself more than the object that you're after.</p>
<p>Whether it be a person or a job, you've got to be like, you know what? This, I am not happy doing this. I'd rather  live under a rock or just be single because I'm done. And the universe says, now you're talking, thank you. You become the value. You're the value, not what you're chasing is the value.</p>
<p>That's how, you know,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:47] Can you read me a little bit? Like, can you read my, my word work? Cause it seems like I can look at it for you. Okay. Can you, can we do that? Is that okay? I feel selfish. I [00:22:00] wanted to like, have it be like a universal, but now I'm like, I want to know.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:22:04] Okay. What do you want to know?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:06] I don't know.</p>
<p>I don't know. Um, I want to know everything we're doing with the whole friendship movement. It feels like it's split, you know, but I feel like all the pieces I've worked on for all these decades are coming together, but is it just my crazy imagination? Like I'm moved to do this huge social movement around the art of friendship and bringing people together because my thing is, I feel like we can solve so many problems with the economy, with, with racial issues, with social issues if we can come back to the art of friendship where we really value each other and hang out together</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:22:50] I'll tell you what I'm hearing in my ear, but you and your husband. So I feel like you need to do a book and you need to do audio books for children.</p>
<p>So that's what I was hearing [00:23:00] is it's two of you, because I mean, when I first saw your, both your pictures, I was like, oh, these two are so cute. And you have this look that sort of says that to children is a good area for the both of you. Cause that's where it starts. The younger generations learning about friendships and how you treat people because big people it's good, but they're harder to train they're there.</p>
<p>They're sort of in the middle of their lives, you know what I'm saying? And it's different, but children is what I'm hearing for both for you guys as a team, if you were doing a team children's books, narration books, like doing kids' books and doing audio book.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:32] That's so funny, Heather, because I'm putting together I'm.</p>
<p>So years ago I tried to publish my book, the photography book, which is the global family photo album. And just recently I'm like, okay, I'll, uh, since we have all the podcast gear and all the audio stuff, I'm going to turn it into an audio book as well. Um, is that, is that viable? The photography? I</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:23:58] think, I think it's not the photography.</p>
<p>[00:24:00] It's that like children teaching through storytelling about friendship. So kids books like kids, you would read to kids like kids would read these books</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:12] that way. Explain why I have purchased so many, you know, those books, those cute books for toddlers. I really bought them for myself when the kids were like that age.</p>
<p>And I have a whole library of them. I'm so inspired by them because I feel like those are deep messages in there for older people.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:24:31] And that's, if you're wanting to make a movement, like I said, I don't know about big people so much in that area, but younger generations, like my son, you know, and your kids, um, really younger than that need to know what friendship truly is because in this world we live in, it's kind of dog eat dog.</p>
<p>It's not even, like you said, you know, the COVID sort of brought it back, but I think in your line of work, it would be amazing to do audio books and actual books, hard cover [00:25:00] books, um, and, and do it. Like I hear the word books all the way. Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:06] Okay. Thanks. Thank you everyone out there for listening and being patient.</p>
<p>Sorry to be like, so self indulgence, Matt, can you talk?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:25:16] That's like, I'm not saying,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:19] well, just bear in mind. You know, I come at everything from a very scientific bent, so yeah,  it's a very careful, delicate place. It's like, yeah, I always used to, I was just telling my wife that, um, uh, I don't want to know my future.</p>
<p>I just put on clean underwear everyday life is</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:33] simple. Right? Tell them, tell them the whole quote that you would give me every time I would discuss our future or delving into other realms. What, what do you tell, come on,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:45] eat your rice. Oh, that's, that's not the same quote though. The, the quote is actually put on clean underwear everyday.</p>
<p>It's like the code of the samurai on some level is you don't know what's going to happen in the course of your day. So you just put on clean underwear and  give it your best. Boom. [00:26:00] Then there's the, yeah. The, then there's the quote, which is, life is simple. Eat your rice drink, your tea, wear your clothes.</p>
<p>That's it. That is all you have. Exactly. That's all you need to concentrate on, which is an interesting thing to think about because, you know, do you feel that the question certainly we asked were very societal based. Is that really where we should be focusing our attentions? Or should we be focusing them solely on ourselves?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:26:29] Well, because right. We can't take you're right. That's a good one. It's kind of too big for us to do, but adding your pieces to the pie, help like books like you guys, and, you know, Matt, you're really calming person. You're really soothing persons. I mean, you'd be really good. Um, showing people that aspect of it,  because sometimes that's the way to go because you get less than what it, you know, they say ignorance is bliss.</p>
<p>Not that it's ignorant, but it's simple. Simplifying your life is what most people have a problem is your take on the world's problems. It [00:27:00] let's help you run for president of the United States. You run for Congress or whatever those jobs. But as people we can, we work in, uh, you know what we do, and it it's kind of like telephone.</p>
<p>It passes along to the next person, next person. And so do your part, of what you  want to do. You don't have to, because by doing your part, it does  change the world. We can't control how big it gets. Right. The wave gets. So what you're going to do, you know, Zuckerberg, he started in his dorm room and look what happened.</p>
<p> He didn't know that. He just wanted, like, Hey, I'm mad at thisthis girl who's  turning me down. I'm going to get her back. And it turned into a bigger movement for him. There's a funny line. And I love, this is my favorite lines in all the movies and social network. He runs into  the girlfriend and they're at the mess hall in the college at Harvard.</p>
<p>And she's like Oh, Mark. And he tries to talk to her and she's like, no, yeah, mark getaway. And then he goes, okay. And he walks away and she goes, oh, Mark. And he goes, yes. She goes, good luck with your [00:28:00] little video game. When I thought that was like, like I got chills when I heard that. So ma. You what? You don't know what people are brewing in their little basement and how big it can be.</p>
<p>So none of us know that, but if we work away at something that we're really passionate about, it could turn into that. Right? So I don't think you have to focus so much on, you know, digging that the universe says don't, you don't have to dig the forest, cut the forest for the trees, just like do a little bit of work and we'll do the rest for you.</p>
<p>If it's meant to be for you, they will, you'll start having people come. You're handing your money for the books. You know what I'm saying? That's how you know, it's for you. You're only, you're not trying to hold things. The universe says, well, we'll say we're going to go take a Starbucks break while you do it all.</p>
<p>And they're like, then people tell me. Um, nothing's is happening in my life. And so I'll get the hell out of the way. It's like you're blocking traffic and you're wondering why aren't we moving there? Like, cause you're in the middle of the cone, like get out and they'll move the, the guy who's supposed to move, the cone will move it.</p>
<p>[00:29:00] You're in the way,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:02] which yet that's very, very interesting. But by the same token, you know, circling back to an earlier topic, you know, I think that there are moments in time though, where you need to join the multitudes and stand up and say something.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:29:15] Yes, yes you are. No, you are you. Yeah, I agree. But then you've got to know what movement you're taking on.</p>
<p>Are you stepping? Right. You're shaking out. Then take that movement. That would have to be it. So you're, you're not like doing so, okay. That's been a match. So doing small things, isn't the thing that, so if you want to take on the world, then take on the world. It's not about it says like, just do it. If that's what you're going to do, you know?</p>
<p>Um, Really it's you're right. You know, it's like, if you look at Donald Trump in his own mind and his own way, he wanted to do that. So he ran for president. Right. And so, you know what I'm saying? That's making a big statement there. He did, he could have changed the world. Another, he could have chose other avenues, [00:30:00] but it didn't need to do that on.</p>
<p>That's a big thing to take on. So you, so the same thing with you you're right. But you have to step into that big space and the other people were doing that. Not everyone can be big.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:14] Right, right. But I can lend my voice to those who would be big, like black lives matter</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:30:19] or exactly. No, it's not doing it, but it's yeah.</p>
<p>It's because it's because it's , I don't want to think there's an answer to that. It's just do it. If you, if you want to align your life to black lives matter the lender voice. So they're like, don't sit and think about it. Just do it and let the rest happen. You don't need permission to start something.</p>
<p>You know what I mean? You just do it. They're saying just you do it right. Go for it. Yeah. There's no path. It's just go. Your parents shove you to what member that walking or the bike. Whew. They're just, you're like, whoa. And I said, that's really the answer sorta said, jump out of the airplane already.</p>
<p>They're like, you don't have to worry about how just [00:31:00] yeah, no, no, no.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:01] That's that's so that's so amusing. Whoa. Somebody just moved all around on us. Um, sorry. That was a video issue that you guys don't see. Um, no, it's very, very interesting. Cause I remember learning how to ride a bike and how terrifying that was as far as like just run along and then all of a sudden you're you're biking.</p>
<p>And yet when we taught our kids how to, how to ride their bikes, we started by taking off the pedals. And they would just scoot around. So they got comfortable actually physically being on the bike. They felt the balance. And so the, and they understood how to balance and they understood how to catch themselves.</p>
<p>And they got very comfortable with that. And we spent an interesting amount of time doing that, that when we finally put the pedals on it, wasn't a completely foreign device now.  It was the familiar device with one new aspect, which was just peddling. They knew how to flow with that.</p>
<p>But like, and then the other thing I made sure that they knew before they, before we did anything else was like how to be comfortable. Like, okay, your feet. Yes, they're on the pedals, but they don't have to be. So the instant you feel yourself [00:32:00] falling, you can write yourself. So it was really taking a look at, uh, riding a bike in a new way.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:32:07] No, it's good. But this is how you are as a person. I think. So you're more saying you're more in this way. So this is great because there's a group of people like you who you can speak to because not everyone hears us, but you might address that group of people.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:22] Right. Yeah, no, no, no, absolutely. I that's funny.</p>
<p>That's my little sound bite. Yeah, no, no, no, absolutely Lord. Anyway, sorry. I digress. Um, but uh, uh, yeah, I overanalyze everything and I don't think that's a bad thing because that's one of the ways that's one of the ways I'm like different as it were, Matt</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:42] is also a seer. Like he'll see way into the future and  see all the steps that people miss.</p>
<p>And then I love it. He, he puts it all together and like, say, you know, he'll tell people, okay, we need to think about this and this and this. And they're like, you're crazy. No, we're talking about this. [00:33:00] And then by the time they're ready. They're like, oh, I don't know if they even admit Matt. Right. They never admit it.</p>
<p>So this is what happens at work.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:33:08] You're, you're more like a teacher, to me. You're like a teacher. He is,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:13] you just need to be present. You need to, uh, be aware of what is being offered. And</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:33:20] do things that other people can't, which is great. So people need people like you, you know what I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:26] mean, giving them guidance, please get that.</p>
<p>But unfortunately, or fortunately, it's usually a one-on-one interaction and it's usually very quiet.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:33:36] No, you can do it. You know, it's even like someone like, like a Steve jobs, I think he was like, you, he was very obviously, you know, meticulous person. And he had to address all the people that he was working with to be that way.</p>
<p>Cause people, he drove people crazy. Yeah. But look at what happened. Because he knew he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. This Michael Jackson, same way Michael Jackson is meticulous as you can get [00:34:00] and look at him. I mean, geez, he produced some major results. So there there's an audience for that. Those are big leaders, those aren't small people in the world.</p>
<p>Those are big peoples. And you can be though, because that's really what you do is super hard. Most people can't be that way. So I don't think it's, I think you actually could be a big leader, to be honest. Cause that's what a teacher is. As a leader,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:22] I've always said that to Matt, but he doesn't want to be in the leadership role</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:34:27] and don't then, then you'd be behind helping.</p>
<p>So you're saying you want to help, help people then find a modality that does that where you're sort of behind the scenes, but moving look, look at a director of a movie. We don't ever see them, but the result is the  is the movie, you're like, oh wow, that was great. And the director is the guy behind,  the conductor, all those people.</p>
<p>But they're so significant in getting things the way they need to be or the other also wouldn't people wouldn't be able to survive. So there is a big movement for that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:59] Why am I [00:35:00] sensing hesitancy from you, Matt? Because</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:02] that's not something I've ever wanted. Well, okay. I like, I like to talk, I like to code,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:35:08] I understand that, but you could still do it in a way it's like, even, yeah, because somebody has to do that job, but I guess, I guess I'm wondering if you're looking for it to become bigger than it is.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:22] See, I'm not, I'm not here to be read. I'm here to be, oh,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:26] I, I would like to be read shoot.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:35:30] Okay. Okay. Well, you're on the right path for yourself. I think whatever you do is going to work out because of your cadence and the way you do things. So, Matt. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:40] Yeah. Thank you, Heather. Should I give up photography?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:45] I</p>
<p>Chihuahua,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:35:47] no, I don't think, I think photography needs to be a part of what you're doing. Not the whole thing. Right? The photography is taking the even do you draw or no? No. You don't draw [00:36:00] it. So you're drawing. So your, so your books are happy. You have to be your photography in them, but the story around the photography.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:07] Okay. So I am on the right track. It's not like</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:36:09] on the right path. Yes. You're on the right path. But the photography part, isn't enough to tell the story it's part of yours, part of your,  telling the story.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:21] But that's a, that's a tricky thing because I want to say that the simpler the message, the more universal it can be.</p>
<p>And when you start getting multi-faceted, multi-role multimedia, in some cases, then the message starts to get confused and muddied and open to interpretation.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:36:38] Well, what's the message though. I guess it's got to figure out what's the message.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:42] The message has always been we're all one family</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:36:44] that we're what I'm saying is the books can do that.</p>
<p>Yeah. You can put the illustrations in the well books or illustration, but again, there's, there's obviously children's books that we look up before my son goes to bed and they have real pictures in them. Do they? [00:37:00] Yeah. We've had a couple of those actually.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:03] Remember that book where the little girl goes</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:04] to France.</p>
<p>Yeah. Yeah. I like that.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:37:07] They have books like that, where you're teaching people, the art of friendship through your, in the photo. I don't mean. And, and that's what I meant. It all, it all, I didn't mean multi-site, you're doing multiple things. It's all one thing.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:17] So I'm on the</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:37:19] right. You're not like, yes, you're just not.</p>
<p>You got to incorporate, I think the storytelling into the photos.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:26] I got it.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:37:27] Not, not that the photos tell the story.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:30] No, I got it. It's so funny because that's always been the message. Like I took a writing course. I remember it, UCLA and the instructor was like, your writing is way better than your photography.</p>
<p>And then I would get offended. I'm like, what do mean?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:37:45] Because you're thinking you have to give up your photography. You're like, I want to, and that is where the path that's where you're asking that question. Is this the right path? The universe says, well, part of it's the right path, uh, the job that, you know, that's not the main path, but that's in addition to where you're [00:38:00] going.</p>
<p>I think that's the part you need to let go of because you have, that's why you're struggling.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:03] Got it. Thank you. Thank you. It's a balancing act to figure out what the struggle is. You know what the plan is, what it is. Well, yeah, because</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:38:12] we you're like photography and then they're saying, well, yeah, you're getting warmer.</p>
<p>You're getting warmer. Add the photography to your storytelling. Got it. Got the other way around</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:23] circle back and be useful for our entire audience. So Heather, what's the plan? What should the plan be? Where should where's a good place for a person's Headspace to be right now?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:38:38] That's a big question depending on the person,  but I think it has to be about the self first.</p>
<p>So you start with yourself, everyone start with themselves.  It's not selfishness. So during the COVID right, it was like self care. That was a new invention word, bigger words. Okay. So, so it is about that because it all starts with us. We need to start with us first.</p>
<p>If you already [00:39:00] have that part, you skip to part II. So if you don't have that part where you like yourself and you think you're awesome, not like I don't mean arrogant, but you're, good with who you are. Start there. Everybody needs to start there. And that's what the reset button was for the COVID.</p>
<p>It was reset. Do you like what you're doing? Do you like your, your living room? Would you like all these things? And you're like, man, this, I don't like that.  So it's like you know, we were like organizing the self first is where people should start and then, once you're that, then, because you may change, your goals may change because what, you may have been doing a goal, like she, like you, it's photography or people are doing something that their parents want them.</p>
<p>And you're like, wait, I never wanted  to do that anyway. Then you can make your decisions about yourself, but you really got to start with you first. What are you comfortable in? And you're comfortable in this. So, you know, maybe people looked at their house or this house too big.</p>
<p>I don't even care. Are they going to go and get new cars? They're like, I don't even need a car I'll just drive my old car, what do  I care? And then the self gets bigger . And then you get the new car because you were okay with the old car. They're like, oh, we're gonna [00:40:00] give you more money and now I can have a new car.</p>
<p>You're like, oh, okay, well that was</p>
<p>good.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:04] Yeah. It's funny you say that because one of the things I focus on, I call it my inner Popeye. Which means Papeye I  am what I am what he am right. I mean, life is simple. I mean, Popeye by never really questions you know, his priorities, his prerogatives, his, his love, his, you know what he's doing, he's doing, he's just doingand he yam what he yam</p>
<p> I described that as my inner Popeye and I need to be comfortable with my inner Popeye. Cause Popeye's forearms were huge to the point of deformety But he  was okay with.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:40:35] Yeah.  My friend would say,  if you don't like reality,  don't pay attention to it.</p>
<p>So<strong> pay attention to  where you want to go, not where society  is directed. And you'll be a lot happier and everything will fall into place in that.</strong>  Here you  are like in the mall, those little red dots, just stand on that red dot and say I'm here.</p>
<p>It's where I am, OK!  Whatever  it would be, because once you're your authentic self, everything opens up [00:41:00] your whole life opens up. The path opens, everything does. But the universe says shed this shed that shed the thoughts, shed the, who we think you should be or these things. And really just being me still for a minute and start to just be like most of what makes me happy.</p>
<p>So I don't really care.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:17] So if I'm in this, if I'm <strong>in the self-aware state where I'm owning my inner Popeye, I'm okay with who I am, then what's next?</strong></p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:41:26] And what's that so well, it'll show up in your environment . It starts coming to you instead of you chasing it, things start because you already know, because in the back of your mind, you're just not the Popeye.</p>
<p>You've got these big dreams, those dreams start to come in and you don't even, you'll be like, oh my God, I wanted that to happen. That's amazing. Now. Cause you're a match to who you really are. That's being authentic, match the match that you came here to be. So I say, it's not much to do. Technically it starts coming toward you because you haven't really changed what the real [00:42:00] goal that you really want.</p>
<p>That stuff starts opening up for you. I don't think it's as, deep as people may think it is.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:07] So would you describe the first step is the hardest and then the second step should be easy</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:42:13] just, yeah. First up is the hardest. Cause it's like, you live in a, especially, you know, you're talking about LA, oh, forget it here.</p>
<p>You've got to really have a thick skin, not to be bothered by whatever these people fake everything.  People really don't know what's going on with them. And so it's like, whatever, who cares? It's everybody, everyone here is like sheep. They go with the masses. It's like so boring to me.</p>
<p>So I think you're right. That's. The hard part. It starts hard. Yes. Not caring.  Something you don't care what people think and you go shoot, you know what I'm saying? It's not, it's not me. I'm not talking about crazy stuff. I'm just talking about, you know, liking yourself at the core, you know, like don't brush your hair and don't do those</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:55] things.</p>
<p>I would say, it's not that you,  are ignoring what people are [00:43:00] saying. It's just somebody external to myself can not dramatically affect who I am.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:43:08] Correct. You're correct. And you know what I think it is is that no it's block. It's also like, so again, I'll use a really example because I was old when I had my son, but I think that if I listened to half the people, I wouldn't, he wouldn't be here at the end.</p>
<p>I mean, like those things it's like, so you keep your dreams, this close, very close. Like you don't, your cards are like, yeah. Okay. You know, close to your vest. Yeah. You, you must. It's really? It's your purpose, not theirs. So you're like, yeah. Okay. Thanks for that. Thanks for the opinion. Thanks for the comment.</p>
<p>Yep. Thanks for sharing. Okay that's what I need. And you just keep plugging away where you're in your basement, like creating a masterpiece, but no, one's seeing it. Oh, you are already. That's where I think it really starts where it, where it goes. So even if someone says something to you, like, oh, you're still [00:44:00] living there....</p>
<p>There's still this still that you're like, yeah, yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:03] Yeah. I thought it was funny.  Not that there in any way  in my sphere, although I do appreciate their music, Lincoln park, they were a bunch of kids. They graduated, they all went to high school together and like Agura Hills and  they graduated from high school and they all lived at their parents' house for years while, they honed their craft while they can do it. And boom, and stuff  has happened since then, obviously, but  they became, multi multi-platinum, artists. So my next question is, so I liken,  moving past that, uh, Popeye phase and figuring out what you're going to do as like being on the ocean and you've got your boogie board or your surfboard and the waves are coming and it's like, how do you know which wave to catch?</p>
<p>How do you perceive, which is the right wave to catch because maybe I have an option to turn left or turn right at this intersection. How do you determine, particularly because you are a seer, how do you determine what [00:45:00] is the right path to take? Cause you know, I could work for Disney or I could work for Facebook for instance, mentioning two companies we have and each one will set you up on a completely different path for the whole rest of your life.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:45:13] Well, I think it's more about, so what are you in line with? More, what you have to, well, you guys have done separate, what is it? What is your thought? What is the higher self and the lower self telling you just figured that's the right.</p>
<p>So that's how you have to figure out like, cause you know the answer, everybody knows the answer, but which direction is that answer coming from? So it's not really which path it's, where is this coming from? Why do I want this? And why do I want that? That's how I say. So find out what the payoff is on each one and you'll get your answers, which is the right path.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:48] But you don't necessarily know,  particularly with, let's say a job opportunity. That's something I can speak to. I've had a number of jobs in my life and some of them have gone very well and some have not.  But ultimately speaking [00:46:00] you can't know what's going to happen when you choose this over that.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:46:06] Well, you don't know, but do you have an intuition of, I think everybody did it, so it's like, you go, like you're out of stoplight, you're like, right. But, and then your subconscious tells you which way to go. And then you go the other way. You're like,  I knew it. I knew that it should have gone that way.</p>
<p>I already knew that. So I think you do know if you're quiet enough to listen, you know, it's sometimes you're on a deadline, you're right, to pick a job or what have you. But I still say it's,   really  it's hard, but you gotta really go with  what your higher self says, you know, I</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:39] had a lower self.</p>
<p>I had a friend who out of the blue, we were at work one day out in the field though. Um, and out of the blue she's like, Fawn,  do you know the difference between what is good and bad, like when you're talking like decisions. Right? Right. Well, she was, she was very spiritual. And she was like, [00:47:00] do you know when a message is coming from God?</p>
<p>Like she was spiritual like that. Okay. But we can use not the God word. We can use anything else. Do you know when something is better for you? I'm like, okay. What, how, how do you know? She's like, you, you feel uplifted. Like you look at the two choices and whatever. Yeah. You just feel like you, and that's the right</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:47:23] way.</p>
<p>And we, and sometimes there's like, if you look at the wizard of Oz, I always give people that example is that,  she went the wrong way. She did, she met the monkeys and the wicked witch, those things turned around. She knew it wasn't the right way. So there's no wrong way. It all leads to the path that you take a detour.</p>
<p>So there's no right or wrong answer because the universe knew you were going to make the right choice and the wrong time, the wrong choice, the right time, they already knew they set up the other path. So you'd go back to the path to the monkeys, flying monkeys on your path, wrong path, Glenda, the good witch.</p>
<p>Good, path.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:55] So the universe knows is what you're saying. So do not believe</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:47:59] it. They [00:48:00] know exactly. You can't make a mistake.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:02] Where do you stand on free will do we have it? Do we not have it?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:48:05] FreeWheel is a hard one. I believe we have free will because I was telling your wife, this is that. I think God loves us so much.</p>
<p>He says, I'm gonna give you free will. I'm not really fond of free will, but you can have it because it brought you here and you have a right to say no to the plan that I have. That's free will, but free will. So everybody has free will all the time. It's like I was telling you to watch that movie, the adjustment bureau and the adjustment bureau, they say differently.</p>
<p>They said, we give you free will like picking your toothpaste or your socks out the rest, which with what I'm saying, it's technically, you don't have free will, but you have it. And then you take the freewill and then,  usually it leads to the wrong path</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:49] free will. Why don't we have Y Y don't</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:48:53] technically we don't have free will, but it's a trick.</p>
<p>Why don't we do that? Here</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:58] we go. Here we go. We get meta on it [00:49:00] then. And, and do we say that we have the perception of free will. So we believe we can choose to turn left or turn. Right. But there really we're really always going to</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:49:09] turn, right. Oh, that'd be good. If you're one of those people, my boyfriend is that person he's like, I'm waiting for the answer too bad if I don't hear it.</p>
<p>Oh, well like, well, okay. I can take a lifetime. He's like, well, I'll just repeat it. There are people like that who does their will is so strong. There w you know, and God remember that saying, God says, I sent you an airplane, a boat. The guy says I was drowning and he got up to heaven and he's dead. And he says, where, were are you guys waiting for guides?</p>
<p>He, I sent you the boat, the helicopter and the plane, you idiot!</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:40] He didn't, he didn't pick any of that by the way, the adjustment bureau. Interesting movie, based on a Phillip K Dick, my favorite sci-fi author. And currently actually I believe the TV series Loki is playing with these similar ideas. Oh, really?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:49:54] I love it.</p>
<p>I love the adjustment Vero. Yeah. That's funny. Good for you for knowing most people are like , like the, what? [00:50:00] That's, you know, that's the adjustment Bureau's theory, right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:03] Right. Is that we really, we really there's the there's a massive force out there, setting stuff up and things, things have to happen.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:50:11] Right?</p>
<p>You steer you. Yes. They move you, but you don't have to go. Even if a Boulder falls, they do, they try to get you to go. And if you don't listen, you don't listen. They say, okay, we told you, they hit you on the head 40 times to tell you this, the wrong thing. You know, and then you're like, well, I'll do it one more time.</p>
<p>You know, roll the dice. They're like, oh, okay. That's freewill. You know, you've lost at the getting table. And you're like, oh, one more time. They're like, oh boy. And then, you know, the lights are turning off. The water sprinklers are going off and here's the one at the table still playing. They're like, get out.</p>
<p>We're not listening. So they give us every sign, but freewill says, I'm going to keep going in the way I'm going to do it. And they say, okay, good. And then that's when they go to Starbucks. I'd say we're going to go get it a latte and we'll  see you on the other side. [00:51:00] Call us.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:01] Oh my God. So are we just puppets?</p>
<p>What is happening?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:51:06] It's because  we're being guided all the time. I don't think  we're puppets out. We're  we know you want to look at it like that, . It's like you, as a parent, they're like, come on, you can do it. You can do it, but we can't see them like, come on and keep coming from and say, keep coming this way, keep coming this way.</p>
<p>But we're like, maybe I should turn back. They're like, no, don't turn back. Just keep going. I promise to be over in five minutes. You're like, really? Cause it looks kind of scary. They're like, no, no, it's not scary. And then once you get there, you're like, ah, and then each time we do it over and over again, we go, oh, I made it through this one.</p>
<p>I'll make it again.  Like people who people always like get bankrupt and they go back again. Cause they already know, oh, I already made it once before. So what. That's when the universe says good for you? Yes. That's what we're looking for. We just, because they're not saying don't trip up, but they know it's temporary.</p>
<p>The trip up is temporary. Some people think it's eternal. They're like, oh, I'm doomed forever. They're like, oh,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:55] oh my God. I just read that. I just read that <strong>the difference between an optimistic </strong>[00:52:00] <strong>person and a pessimistic person, the optimist knows that it won't last forever. So if there's pain, they know it's not going to last forever.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:52:09] Yeah. And then it goes quicker because they're not there during a match to that. They're like, oh, this will end soon just to get 5, 4, 3, 2, and we would get moving forward. And the other person's like, no, we're doomed and it gets worse and worse. And so I think that's, it's hard. It's no one said it was easy, but there's very few people that are, that are that balanced.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:32] Okay. So my next question is this is okay. It seems like I'm so pessimistic, but because my questions are so dark. But well it, okay. What, what do you think the future of the United States is? And is Trump coming back or his people coming back? Like, what is, are we going to have civil war? What is happening?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:52:55] Well, I mean, I think, I think, I think first part of the part is Trump will come back as [00:53:00] Trump. I didn't say, be present right now, but I'm saying he'll come back. Yes, he will be back because he'll be back He's back already. He never left. He never leaves. Technically he's like here the whole time.  Cause he keeps his foot, you know, he's always like, he's like photo bombing all the time.</p>
<p>He's like, he's like, he's never leaves. So he's always in, stays in the photo that, you know, they say, if you want someone to know where you're always staying in sight, sight lines, so going to stay in our sight line.  But you know, he, um, I think, until we get it, people like him show up to teach us stuff.</p>
<p>So. He sort of mirrors where we're at or a mirror sort of where we're at. So, so we're at the same place. He'll come back. If not, he won't. Um, you know what I mean? So, but he, but the universe sort of likes him, because he says a weird message sort of to send that people just don't get it. So they're like, should we bring them back?</p>
<p>Do we need to bring [00:54:00] him back again? What's the</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:01] message. What, what is, what, what is his message? Well, he,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:54:07] um, well, first of all, he like all presidents. I think they're all used by the universe to some extent, to get some message across. So in therefore they're sort of protected because of that. So he sort of, uh, There's so many things about him asking a certain question.</p>
<p>I going answer what is messy as a kid is a lot of different things he's supposed to teach us to a couple of things about him is he's a massive manifestor. What do you think? It's the manifest the right way, the wrong way. But what he sort of does is he sort of like, it's like Mr. Magoo, he just walks through things.</p>
<p>Any doesn't. That's why the very little happens, damn bigger. Things could have happened, but they really don't. If you look at it, you know what I mean? Yeah. Escapes every, like that's Mr. Magoo. Remember Mr. Magoo. Like he just like, nothing will happen to Donald. Trump will happen to everyone around him. [00:55:00] So it's sort of like, or like they're saying don't pay attention so much to the thing don't if you don't like it don't pay attention to it.</p>
<p>And he represents too like, sort of manifesting. You've got to you, you have to remember we're all put here. He has a, whether you like him or hate him, he sort of goes after his dreams and that's the universe says, well, good for you. So we can't say you can't be president. And he's like, well, why not? My academy that was told to me, that's what I hear.</p>
<p>So he sort of shows us this part that we, we don't. So we go, everyone's like, we need to go back, go back to the normal tradition of government. And everyone's like, well, he's like, well, why, how is that working?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:42] Right. I mean, there's a reason we got into this mess is because things weren't working, it</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:55:47] was, but then to calm the nerves of the masses, you get Joe Biden.</p>
<p>He's like, Hey, look, Hey, everybody calm. Whether or not, who knows, I'm not on either side. I just see it on another, you know, I'm not for you or for [00:56:00] you, but, but I get it. And so it's like, oh, the universe says, okay, well, we'll just bring him in. And we'll just continue to blind ourselves. Donald Trump's sort of is like the four year old, you know, who tells all the secrets he's sorta like, guys stop.</p>
<p>They're like, you know, right. Quiet down. Don't cause he's. In ways. It's not that he's not smart enough, but he'll just says stuff sort of just says things. So it's like, there's an innocence about it because he doesn't see it to be, he's like, why, well, why not say it? And we have an etiquette, which, which is good.</p>
<p>And I think, you know, in some ways like people don't like him as being the president of United States, everyone expects an etiquette. Right. You know, you're leading the world. Right. You got to have your P's and Q's, he doesn't have that. He doesn't know how to come to the party and like be the amazing host, but he's got some of the pieces of the puzzle that we need to sort of learn from.</p>
<p>So I think that that's why he's sort of</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:57] there Heather, as a parent, as a [00:57:00] mother, how do you feel like we can protect our children and have the life we envisioned. A utopia for our families, despite whatever happens on, on the outside with politics and everything. Like how do you feel as a mom,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:57:18] right? Yeah, because in each home it's individual rides.</p>
<p>Right. So it's not, we're not really, that's why it's needed, I'm maybe unpatriotic, but like independence day, I'm like, I don't really connect so much with the United. I'm like, oh, I was born here. I'm not in government. I don't connect so much with it. And that might be a problem. But I think in the truth is we all run our own lives.</p>
<p>So yeah. There's hope in your sector of you raising your children because you're doing it in your own home. You know what I mean? So if you're parenting a certain way yeah. Your kid's got a fighting shot, so it's not because we can't, it's not the man. I get it. There's masses out there. But you, as a view to, as parents are good parents, so your kids have a shot.</p>
<p>[00:58:00] And making a difference because you're a good parents are teaching them what you teach them. I don't think it's as global. I think the little pieces, again, not fit on the board. You got enough parents doing the right thing. Yes. This generation can rise above it. That's what we're teaching in our own homes more than, you know.</p>
<p>Are you hopeful?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:20] Are you hopeful of the future? Do you feel like we can make things better as a whole?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:58:26] I think so. I think a year is trying to get it. It's trying to like wrinkle out the sheets, you know, like you have people saying that the world's ending, I'm like the world doesn't want to end. It just wants to reinvent itself.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:35] That's how I found at the beginning of the pandemic. I always had that. Yeah. I don't</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:58:38] think it's any religious thing. You know, people are like good standing in the world. Like, well, not really, maybe an end of an era, but I don't think it's the end of the world. It,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:47] it, it was, it was the end of  a time period.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[00:58:50] We need to get rid of a lot of crap. We just like the way we represented the past five to 10 years, boy, it scared me to have a kid [00:59:00] because what the pandemic sort of did, which is cool. It like it brought back teachers, doctors, like jobs that are really valuable that have gotten lost with like YouTube and like, no, you want to be an actor and you're meant to be an actor.</p>
<p>Great. Go for it. But not, it's not for everybody. You don't need to showcase your face and be in media unless it's really your calling it's for you. I think that became crazy. So I had the Kardashians series ended in the pandemic because it's like, no, this is not how we operate because every person, a geek, a crazy they're all valuable.</p>
<p>And that's, what's so cool about it. What we should have gotten from all this is that the kids need to know, Hey, you know, I'm a, I may be a geek, but I'm, I'm valuable. So what you know, so I think that then that case, the pandemic. I love doctors. I love Laura. I love people that are highly educated and have this really amazing thing to offer like that somebody needs to deliver the mail and do these things.</p>
<p>We make it so bad. It's like, why and [01:00:00] why is that bad? Right. Like the world we live in, you know what I'm saying? Very weird. People are like, who cares,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:09] Matt? What do you, do you want to ask anything? No, you don't even say no. You're just shaking your head. We're on a podcast. So as we reach our hour, I hate that.</p>
<p>I'm like put on the spot, man. Like we talk, we talk and then you get quiet on the podcast. Um, Heather, I don't know. It's it's so weird. Asking questions is really hard for me. That's why we don't have an interview kind of based podcast. We just have a conversation in our kitchen as friends. I always feel like I'm invading space if I'm asking questions.</p>
<p>So it's hard for me. It's hard for me to ask questions, but can I ask you like what good questions  for our [01:01:00] listeners? Like  what would you like us to know? Is there anything, if there is, is there anything you want us to know or, you know, the audience to know or people to know like a message that you feel we should be getting?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:01:14] I think I'm saying, I think people need to be, or should we strive to be your authentic self, right? The only way you're going to be happy in life. No, it's just really be accepting who you are and embrace that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:26] Awesome. I mean, so basically everything we've been saying the whole podcast. Yeah. Yeah. And it</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:01:31] sounds hokey, but it's really, I know. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's kind of the way I do feel in general,  we spend so much time on things that it's like, okay, anyway, let's move forward. You know, and you're right.</p>
<p>It all starts in the home while we raise our children.  We're a big examples live by example. And nothing's that important that it can't be  put down for a second, you know? Cause life goes fast. It goes super fast. It doesn't mean you have kids.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:59] It does. [01:02:00] Oh my God. Yeah. And kids,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:02:01] that's a whole nother podcast.</p>
<p>Cause when you look at you, I mean, having kids is like, I think it's like, wow. The topic of stuff. I never think I used to think about like mortality. Like when I was by myself, I didn't think about it. I</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:13] was so brave. I was so brave before I became a mom.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:02:18] Well, you're more cautious and such, but it is a gift.</p>
<p>So it's like, we're sort of teaching new, you're teaching the future and you have an opportunity to  correct what your parents did to you in weird ways. Right? We all have a chance to like break the break. The what is it? The generational curse and be like, oh, You know, cause we do it all. I do it, you know, I become my mom like, oh God, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, stop, stop.</p>
<p>Stop is, that's not how it is. Not really what's happening. I made a</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:43] pact, Matt and I are staring at each other. We made a pact. Like if you see me acting or saying something like that, stop me in my tracks. Like help me,</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:02:53] like the commercial, have you ever seen that commercial? It's so funny. It's like a Geico or the guy's like put down that you don't need the waiter [01:03:00] doesn't need to know your game or, you know, it's like, what am I paying for commercials at?</p>
<p>Right? Yeah. We</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:09] were like, honey. I mean, it's</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:03:11] normal because it's been in our, you know, we watch Nat and how long we watched our parents would go. How long did you live at home? As a years of following people around, it's like before there were followers, we were following our parents, you know, on Instagram, we're following, we're following our we're like, we're really following you or I'm your followers sort of.</p>
<p>Right. So we were like, influencers are we are the influencers</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:32] Matt, do you have a pretty little bow for the episode? Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:36] We're back, we're back to our inner Popeye. We're back to,  if you want a step-by-step plan, as far as where you should be part of the plan, be comfortable with you, just comfortable with the fact that you're 10 feet tall or two feet tall, be comfortable with, you know, your, your knees or your elbows or your whatever.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:03:58] Yes. Because other people will start [01:04:00] becoming comfortable with you. They're only unconquerable because. So you're pointing out the obvious to people and they didn't notice it to begin with. Okay, cool.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:04:08] And then life will start presenting and just remember to stay out of the way, let it present.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:04:16] Yeah. Let's get out of the jumping.</p>
<p>Get</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:04:18] out of it out of your own. Gosh, darn</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:20] way. Heather, Matt is very good at this. I freak out.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:04:27] It's intense. It can be very, very scary. There were moments in my life where it was like ostensibly, what I was doing was not something I probably should be doing. Things like that. What led you to here? What led you to here? There's a couple of very unique moments. Number one is, um, yeah, I applied to exactly one university out of high school.</p>
<p>What the hell was I thinking? But I got in, but what the hell was I thinking?</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:04:53] Maybe you just went to the right place faster than others, you know? Yeah, maybe look at [01:05:00] Zuckerberg like that. It was like, like he went from a to Z in like five minutes. He didn't go through a lot of the, he went through his own things to get like a business started, but pretty much stayed with the same concept.</p>
<p>That's pretty hard to do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:14] And back to the nugget, I got comfortable with Santa Monica and, and got comfortable with, okay, well, what, I don't know what you want with me, but okay. I give up in a way, you know, and it led me to you. It led me to the whole friendship movement, and then it led me to you.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:05:32] It's just like, if you're on a ride at Disneyland, you know, how you, how we get in that, we like we get in this crazy contraption and we're like going, chug, chug, chug up.</p>
<p>We're on the ride. And we're like, oh, wow, what's next? And it just leads us to the exit. Really? Oh, that wasn't so bad. Okay. You know, so it's kind of the same sort of thing. Like you said, it led you to Matt. If we just like, we, my friend would say, don't get up from the table. You placed your order. Don't get up from the tables.</p>
<p>Waitress [01:06:00] is going to bring your food eventually, but you may be a little delayed. She's got other people to serve. So time doesn't mean that</p>
<p>much.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:06:07] So the art of the plan is to relax. Right. And let's see. So before we go, I want all you friends out there to know that everything, if you and I do recommend getting ahold of Heather, everything is in the show notes, all the links.</p>
<p>But while we're just talking, would you like to tell our friends how they can get ahold of.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:06:33] Yeah. Um, I I'm in the process actually constructing my website because I have my foundation. It's just, uh, the black and sully foundation and it's an animal, uh, does raise money for animals that are in need. And,  so I'm putting that together, but until then,  you can go on Instagram at the advisor.</p>
<p>I'm the advisor, a D V I Z E R. And I'm on Tik TOK. So you can just like direct message me or [01:07:00] something if you wanted to reading until I get that. Cause things merging.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:04] Those will be right in the show notes, everyone.  Thank you for talking to us, Heather. I had, I totally took me out of my funk. I was in a funk before</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:07:14] we started.</p>
<p>You're better now. You sounded a lot better. Thank</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:17] you. I feel better. How are you, Matt? I'm good. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Heather: </strong>[01:07:23] I was better before I, no,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:07:25] no, I'm good. I was good before. I'm good. Cool. Well,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:30] thank you everyone. We'll talk to you in a few days. All right. Take care everyone. Bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Heather Lawrence joins us as we discuss the art of the plan and what it is. What's the plan?
 How do you know it's your plan? Is there a higher plan? Is there truly free will?
 What is the purpose of each person? How can we decipher between our purpose as apposed to someone else's thing; how do we know it's your deal or if it's feeling FOMO.
 Is there, is there a grand scheme? Is there a divine plan?
How do we become  a vibrational match to the plan that we have been wanting?
Can we plan? Should we be planning? You always hear that phrase. You know, if you want to hear God laugh, make a plan.  Aren't we working as a team here?
Heather explains how the universe wants to get us to accept things the way they are not reject the way they are.
How can we get through it all????
How to be an authentic match to your dreams.
How to be in alignment
This episode we ask the questions and ponder the answers.
To reach Heather:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_advizer/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theadvizerr/videos/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_advizer111?lang=en
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Welcome to our friendly world. Hello? Hello? Hello. What is the plan, Matt? What's the plan. If I take a nugget of wisdom. Okay. You just asked me what nugget would you use today? Yes. So today's episode, everyone is called the art of the plan and we have a special friend with us that I'll introduce you to in just a second, but the art of a plan.
I mean, I never wanted to go back to LA. That was not my plan. When do you know, it's your plan? Is there a higher plan? Is there free will. I mean, you know, sometimes most of my life I feel like, okay, I know, I feel that the right thing, I feel the answer. I know the universe, you know, I feel like I'm part of it.
So of course I know what's up, but sometimes I'm like, well, what, what is it like what's happening? What is, is there a plan? Because [00:01:00] I don't know. Sometimes I just don't know. What is the purpose of each person? How can we decipher between our purpose? You know, your true purpose from something. You you're drawn to, it could be someone else's thing.
Right. And you're looking at them and you're feeling FOMO. So you think their plan is your plan. Do you know what I'm saying?
Matt: [00:01:25] Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. You can get totally sucked into somebody's reality in many ways that  if somebody is really into something and like you hang out with them, then all of a sudden you're like, wow, that's super cool.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. And you may think that, you should just stop doing what you're doing and start doing what this other person's doing for sure.
Fawn: [00:01:42] Yeah.
I, I equate it. I equate everything to eating. So it's like going to a restaurant and you think, you know what you want to order. And then someone orders tiramisu, and you're like, I want Tiramisu too.
Matt: [00:01:52] I remember going to a sushi place and ordering a certain kind of sushi. And then all of a sudden, everybody around me started ordering it. It was quite funny.
[00:02:00] Fawn: [00:02:00] So how do you know that that's happening? Some bizarre things happen in life. Some hard things happen in life and there must be a purpose to it all.
Is there a purpose purpose of that? I can't even stay at purpose. Is there, is there a grand scheme? Is there a plan that one would say, if you want to use the G word is a...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:08:28</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Community with Maya Breuer]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 08 Aug 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-art-of-community-with-maya-breuer</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-art-of-community-with-maya-breuer</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>One of our favorite friends is back! Maya Breuer joins us again as we further explore the art of community.</p>
<p>We begin with a quote from the movie, "Your Name":<strong>  </strong>"They assemble and take shape. They twist, tangle, unravel now and then, break and reconnect. That's what a union is; what time is."</p>
<p>We've been really delving into the art of community here and really trying to hone in on exactly what community is and how we can have it, how we can create it, how we can continue with it,  with the changing times and everything.</p>
<p><br />Community is society, it's a fellowship, it's a kind of public spirit and to an embrace, a place of connection, a place where we are not alone, a place of enrichment.  It is a home of safety and protection. It is about being stronger and happier and having the sense of wellbeing. It is about being heard and getting acknowledged and VALUED. </p>
<p>It is about feeling supported, respected, cared for and having this feeling of love for each other. It is about compassion and love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript-285</strong></p>
<p><strong>[00:00:00] Maya: [00:00:00] Her mother taught me the way she taught her. Nice. But I w as I got as my mother and I reconnected years later, she taught me special things because she was a terrific cook, but it was my grandmother who led the way. Nice. Yeah. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:00:16] Not you Matt, right. Those ladies did not like anything to do with like the home, </strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt: [00:00:24] the day, every single meal.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Put it in the oven for 350 for an hour</strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:00:30] now. Oh, was it? Uh, oh no, they just </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:00:36] to this day, like Matt has been Matt and I have been together longer than he's been with his family. And to this day he's still traumatized and we can't eat certain things because it makes him remember childhood. So, you know, I'm middle Eastern.</strong></p>
<p><strong>So of course there's fresh beets and garlic and onions. And. And, you know, like raw veggies and all kinds of stuff. And he's like, I [00:01:00] can't do that. I can't have the watermelon, I can't have this. I can't have watermelon, </strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt: [00:01:04] had nothing to do with my family, but it had to do with your childhood and your stuff stuck on it.</strong></p>
<p><strong>But </strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:01:10] you know, it, it really takes a while to get over childhood stuff. I mean, how much longer is it going to take? How much longer is it going to take? Sometimes you never get over it. You know, when I was kid. I grew up with my grandparents and my aunt. And they would do this thing where all the, if, if other people came every other fancy stuff got shared and then like, like I re I like today I can not eat a broken cookie because we, they would go to the market and buy bags of broke.</strong></p>
<p><strong>You know, you could buy a bag of broken cookies. I love the </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:01:50] Dale </strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:01:51] bakeries and that was for the kids. And then we also had bagged fruit. I can't eat bagged fruit or broken [00:02:00] cookies. Oh Maya. We need, I could eat it, but I'm just, um, what do you call it? I'm rebelling. I must have a whole cookie. I must have a fresh piece of fruit that does not isn't stapled in a bag and at a lower price </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:02:16] you deserve, you deserve.</strong></p>
<p><strong>A whole cookie. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:02:20] I deserve a whole cookie and they, and, um, you know, they were my grandparents. They will lovely. I realized they were just trying to make ends meet, but still, I </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:02:30] didn't like it. I wonder about Elle and  Alegra because that's what we do when we go to the store, we go for the bags that are like unacceptable....</strong></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[One of our favorite friends is back! Maya Breuer joins us again as we further explore the art of community.
We begin with a quote from the movie, "Your Name":  "They assemble and take shape. They twist, tangle, unravel now and then, break and reconnect. That's what a union is; what time is."
We've been really delving into the art of community here and really trying to hone in on exactly what community is and how we can have it, how we can create it, how we can continue with it,  with the changing times and everything.
Community is society, it's a fellowship, it's a kind of public spirit and to an embrace, a place of connection, a place where we are not alone, a place of enrichment.  It is a home of safety and protection. It is about being stronger and happier and having the sense of wellbeing. It is about being heard and getting acknowledged and VALUED. 
It is about feeling supported, respected, cared for and having this feeling of love for each other. It is about compassion and love.
 
TRANSCRIPT:
Transcript-285
[00:00:00] Maya: [00:00:00] Her mother taught me the way she taught her. Nice. But I w as I got as my mother and I reconnected years later, she taught me special things because she was a terrific cook, but it was my grandmother who led the way. Nice. Yeah. 
Fawn: [00:00:16] Not you Matt, right. Those ladies did not like anything to do with like the home, 
Matt: [00:00:24] the day, every single meal.
Put it in the oven for 350 for an hour
Maya: [00:00:30] now. Oh, was it? Uh, oh no, they just 
Fawn: [00:00:36] to this day, like Matt has been Matt and I have been together longer than he's been with his family. And to this day he's still traumatized and we can't eat certain things because it makes him remember childhood. So, you know, I'm middle Eastern.
So of course there's fresh beets and garlic and onions. And. And, you know, like raw veggies and all kinds of stuff. And he's like, I [00:01:00] can't do that. I can't have the watermelon, I can't have this. I can't have watermelon, 
Matt: [00:01:04] had nothing to do with my family, but it had to do with your childhood and your stuff stuck on it.
But 
Maya: [00:01:10] you know, it, it really takes a while to get over childhood stuff. I mean, how much longer is it going to take? How much longer is it going to take? Sometimes you never get over it. You know, when I was kid. I grew up with my grandparents and my aunt. And they would do this thing where all the, if, if other people came every other fancy stuff got shared and then like, like I re I like today I can not eat a broken cookie because we, they would go to the market and buy bags of broke.
You know, you could buy a bag of broken cookies. I love the 
Fawn: [00:01:50] Dale 
Maya: [00:01:51] bakeries and that was for the kids. And then we also had bagged fruit. I can't eat bagged fruit or broken [00:02:00] cookies. Oh Maya. We need, I could eat it, but I'm just, um, what do you call it? I'm rebelling. I must have a whole cookie. I must have a fresh piece of fruit that does not isn't stapled in a bag and at a lower price 
Fawn: [00:02:16] you deserve, you deserve.
A whole cookie. 
Maya: [00:02:20] I deserve a whole cookie and they, and, um, you know, they were my grandparents. They will lovely. I realized they were just trying to make ends meet, but still, I 
Fawn: [00:02:30] didn't like it. I wonder about Elle and  Alegra because that's what we do when we go to the store, we go for the bags that are like unacceptable....]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Art of Community with Maya Breuer]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>One of our favorite friends is back! Maya Breuer joins us again as we further explore the art of community.</p>
<p>We begin with a quote from the movie, "Your Name":<strong>  </strong>"They assemble and take shape. They twist, tangle, unravel now and then, break and reconnect. That's what a union is; what time is."</p>
<p>We've been really delving into the art of community here and really trying to hone in on exactly what community is and how we can have it, how we can create it, how we can continue with it,  with the changing times and everything.</p>
<p><br />Community is society, it's a fellowship, it's a kind of public spirit and to an embrace, a place of connection, a place where we are not alone, a place of enrichment.  It is a home of safety and protection. It is about being stronger and happier and having the sense of wellbeing. It is about being heard and getting acknowledged and VALUED. </p>
<p>It is about feeling supported, respected, cared for and having this feeling of love for each other. It is about compassion and love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript-285</strong></p>
<p><strong>[00:00:00] Maya: [00:00:00] Her mother taught me the way she taught her. Nice. But I w as I got as my mother and I reconnected years later, she taught me special things because she was a terrific cook, but it was my grandmother who led the way. Nice. Yeah. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:00:16] Not you Matt, right. Those ladies did not like anything to do with like the home, </strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt: [00:00:24] the day, every single meal.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Put it in the oven for 350 for an hour</strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:00:30] now. Oh, was it? Uh, oh no, they just </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:00:36] to this day, like Matt has been Matt and I have been together longer than he's been with his family. And to this day he's still traumatized and we can't eat certain things because it makes him remember childhood. So, you know, I'm middle Eastern.</strong></p>
<p><strong>So of course there's fresh beets and garlic and onions. And. And, you know, like raw veggies and all kinds of stuff. And he's like, I [00:01:00] can't do that. I can't have the watermelon, I can't have this. I can't have watermelon, </strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt: [00:01:04] had nothing to do with my family, but it had to do with your childhood and your stuff stuck on it.</strong></p>
<p><strong>But </strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:01:10] you know, it, it really takes a while to get over childhood stuff. I mean, how much longer is it going to take? How much longer is it going to take? Sometimes you never get over it. You know, when I was kid. I grew up with my grandparents and my aunt. And they would do this thing where all the, if, if other people came every other fancy stuff got shared and then like, like I re I like today I can not eat a broken cookie because we, they would go to the market and buy bags of broke.</strong></p>
<p><strong>You know, you could buy a bag of broken cookies. I love the </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:01:50] Dale </strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:01:51] bakeries and that was for the kids. And then we also had bagged fruit. I can't eat bagged fruit or broken [00:02:00] cookies. Oh Maya. We need, I could eat it, but I'm just, um, what do you call it? I'm rebelling. I must have a whole cookie. I must have a fresh piece of fruit that does not isn't stapled in a bag and at a lower price </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:02:16] you deserve, you deserve.</strong></p>
<p><strong>A whole cookie. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:02:20] I deserve a whole cookie and they, and, um, you know, they were my grandparents. They will lovely. I realized they were just trying to make ends meet, but still, I </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:02:30] didn't like it. I wonder about Elle and  Alegra because that's what we do when we go to the store, we go for the bags that are like unacceptable.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:02:40] Yeah. But that's okay. I mean, I raised three kids and I did all kinds of things  to survive. However,  if you came to my house, whatever my children had, you had. Yes, that was the thing. It wasn't anything wrong with the food. The stuff tasted good. It's just that there was [00:03:00] separate, we were separate from guests.</strong></p>
<p><strong>There was a </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:03:03] hierarchy. Yeah, which actually leads us to the show today, because one of the things we talk about, one of the principles is the inner circle and the hierarchy that exists in community and how to not have that and how to have that anyway. Okay. Well, um, well I'm so glad you're here. Good morning.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Um, let's </strong></p>
<p><strong>Maya: [00:03:24] nice little chat. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: [00:03:25] I love it. I love it. Actually. I was recording it for a test, so I'm going to stop.</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript-286</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Oh, you always liked to be on time, Matt always right. You get super mad at me. If I'm not. If I go against the timeline, it is. Hi everybody. Guess who's here. We have our beautiful friend, Maya, Maya Breuer is back with us today. You remember from our first episode with her, just a few episodes back, she is back with us.</p>
<p>Thank you, Maya.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:00:27] Oh, it's my pleasure to be back.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:29] Thank you for having me. So we were talking about yoga, of course. And today's episode, we're really going to get into the nitty gritty of it.</p>
<p>This amazing, amazing woman that we both Matt and I have a crush on. I'm sorry, Matt. Don't blush, but there's a reason why we have a crush on her. She is a spectacular human being so lovely. And by the way, by the end of the show, can we find out, like we don't use any bad words on [00:01:00] this episode? Any episodes much to the surprise of our friends, right?</p>
<p>Because I have a truck driver mouth, but I will never use any bad foul language on this show. But last episode, Maya did say she will cuss a person out if she has to. And ever since since then, I'm like, I wonder what her favorite cuss word is.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:01:19] I'm not going to tell  you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:22] Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:24] Fish and chips.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:01:26] I'm not going to tell you. I have a</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:28] slew of them.</p>
<p>Oh, I love that. That is a liberating thought for me. Thank you. That, that you do that, that, because you are oh, a beautiful, loving, strong, powerful woman lady. It just, uh, it gives me hope that you actually do that. Thank you, Maya. So you guys, I'm so scared of you, cause I don't know. I mean, I, I will never, ever, ever, ever disrespect [00:02:00] you and hopefully I will never come across the cussing path because I never want to.</p>
<p>Anything in our relationship to go awry for that to happen. So that, that is my value.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:02:14] Oh, don't worry about it. Um, I'm in control too.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:18] I will never cross you. I respect you so much. So everyone Maya is vice-president of cross-cultural advancement for yoga Alliance. She's the host of the Unity in Yoga Podcast.</p>
<p>Go listen. And she's the,  she's the community. She, how do you say this? You lead the community Sangha.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:02:43] Uh, yes, I also, I moderate a community Sangha</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:48] yoga. And she is also the co-founder of the black yoga teachers Alliance. Thank you. And Emeritus trustee of Kripalu am I [00:03:00] pronouncing Kripalu properly?</p>
<p>Yes. Kripalu</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:03:02] center.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:03] Yep. And you're the creator of the yoga retreat for women of color? She Maya is also a recipient of the YW CA's women of achievement award, and she continues to demonstrate commitment to educating the, BIPOC community black and indigenous people of color.  She is  a champion of health and wellbeing through yoga.</p>
<p>She enthusiastically promotes equity and continues to influence the changing landscape community of yoga and thank God for her because she's brought us, brought me in particular as such healing. And she's brought friendship to you, Matt. Like you, you have, uh, you have a special bond with Maya and I'm so grateful for that.</p>
<p>You know, I she's, [00:04:00] she's just amazing folks. So go back to the first episode we did with Maya.  If you don't know about her already, you will fall in love with her as we have. So we're gathering today. The subject today is, you know, our whole thing. First of all, welcome to our friendly world.</p>
<p>Everybody. I always forget</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:04:20] to do that. Mm.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:24] Uh, I had to have a sip of water. Okay. So we are all about the art of friendship. Today, we're going to talk about the art of community. Before we get into that, that movie we saw. What was the movie called?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:42] "Your Name",</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:42] "Your Name".  Oh Maya. We saw the most amazing movie last night.</p>
<p>It's a Japanese movie. It came out when?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:50] 2016,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:51] it came out 2016. We had never seen, well, the kids and I had never seen it before.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:55] I'd never seen it either.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:56] Can I say it's called anime, right? It is, it is [00:05:00] animated, but oh my God, this movie was so deep. We were like, what is going on? What's happening.</p>
<p>But in a good way, way, you know, sometimes like when I watched Lord of the rings with you, like if I can like make it through like five minutes of it, I'm like, what in the world is happening and I'm not interested to be honest. Matt is giving me the death look, sorry. Oh, I was looking</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:27] up and of course you're not, I mean, half of my interests, the whole world doesn't care.</p>
<p>Oh no. Let's say 99% of my interests. The world doesn't care about.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:36] No, I think there's a huge population of people that will probably crucify me for saying what I just said, but let me, let me just here is a perfect quote from this movie that fits in. I was tripping out.  It's amazing when you get signs, because we've been really delving into the art of community here and really trying to hone in on exactly what [00:06:00] community is and how we can have it, how we can create it, how we can continue with it,  with the changing times and everything.</p>
<p>And this line popped up in the movie and I had you  stop several thousand times. Sorry. So the it's from the movie, "Your Name" and here's a line from it that says :<strong>  "They assemble and take shape. They twist, tangle, unravel now and then, break and reconnect. That's what a union is; what time is."</strong> It, it gave me chills.</p>
<p>I don't know about you. Is it just me? But like, wow. So that I feel like is a perfect, perfect example. A definition  if you will, friendship or community or any kind of a relationship, right? Because yeah, it goes in and [00:07:00] out of time it can get twisted. It can break  you go away, you can come back,  if you believe in reincarnation,  it can come back in other times if you believe in quantum physics, other realities dimensions, but we're all interconnected and connected in so many ways that we're not even completely aware of when we wake up. It seems to be in a dream state. Reality is,  very fluid and so. That is what a community is.</p>
<p>It breathes, it expands it contracts and it changes form. So  today, as we explore the art of community,  let's just look at the word community.  I tried to look at the etymology and I really couldn't find anything that was really super juicy. But if you look at it, it's commune and a unity. Once again, unity, it also goes back to Maya.</p>
<p>With her podcast. Community, [00:08:00] is society, it's a fellowship, it's a kind of public spirit and to an embrace, a place of connection, a place where we are not alone, a place of enrichment.  I put myself, well, I, I was just recently a couple months ago, invited to take place in this self care thing with KJ.</p>
<p>And when she said, Fawn, you need some self-care. And when someone says self-care to me, I get agitated because it's like, oh, it's another thing I have to do now. You know, like, oh my goodness. You know, I get angry because I, I am burnt out and I know that, but it makes me upset to hear you, you know, you need some self care.</p>
<p>So, but she, she kind of like, um, strong armed me to hang out with her friends online on zoom. And I'm so glad she did because somehow I was suddenly embraced by this community [00:09:00] of her friends. And this is what I felt. And I'm like, oh my God, this is. This is what a community should feel like. So I'm just going to tell you my emotions and I, and I believe these are the, what should be the standard for our community to have people feel this.</p>
<p>So this is what I felt. I felt a safety and protection. I felt stronger, happier. I felt this sense of wellbeing. I felt heard like every word I said, even if I didn't say that out loud, I typed it in the chat. They heard everything. They acknowledged everything. I was like, oh wow. So I was seen and they valued me.</p>
<p>I felt supported. I felt respected. Cared for, I had this feeling of love for them; like, love. It had nothing to do with sex or anything like that.  I fell in love with these people. [00:10:00] And I didn't really say anything, but they were like expressing their love for me saying, oh my God, we love you so much.</p>
<p>And it was sincere, you know, truly loving your fellow members like family. It's the family that we create. That's what the community is. And it's a place to help each other to succeed and to connect. It's a place of sharing mutual concern for one another's welfare. And then I started to look okay, what makes a good community?</p>
<p>And I found this author by the name of Charles Vogl, Charles H Vogl. Thank you, sir.  He wrote great book, the art of community, and he talks about how in community, there's some commonalities that need to happen. What is really important to people in the community? One is shared values, and you have to really think about what are our shared values? And of course, values are [00:11:00] something that evolve as time and people change, but we all have to constantly revisit</p>
<p>what a value is what we consider valuable, what is a value to us? And like, for example, values in our friendly world, the movement, the art of friendship that we're creating here are - you know, you can step in anytime, Matt, but it's about our values are being loyal, not gossiping, respecting each other, understanding other points of view other than our own,  dispelling stereotypes. We value connection. we value the expression of truth, no matter how uncomfortable maybe, you know, even though we may fight about it Matt, cause you don't like to be uncomfortable, but I do. I want, no, I do. I want to get in there and fix things I want to get in there and straighten things out.</p>
<p>Okay. [00:12:00] And not having prejudice, you know, being open-minded and besides the value, another thing that needs to happen is a membership identity. Who are we? How do we behave? What are the things that we believe? So again, for our friendly world, examples are, who are we? I think we're seers. You're authentic.</p>
<p>We are. We pay attention, right. Actually, that's how we behave. So how we behave as we watch, we listen, we observe and we're fully present. And what we believe is that kindness and compassion is the foundation of, of our relationships. We believe that together we are powerful beyond measure. Yes. And so, um, one of the, we're going to get in to a few things today within this art of community, [00:13:00] with the example of Maya, Maya Breuer is  the best example of this because we, you know, also going back you'll, you'll listen to the other episode we did, but she's the perfect example of how you build.</p>
<p>And before we get into that, uh, Charles Volvo has these seven principles that are really amazing seven principles that we can implement in a community. One is boundary the line between members and outsiders. Number two is initiation. The activities that are in a way, ceremonial and invites a person in in no uncertain terms like, you know, okay. I belong here. Number three, rituals. The things we do that have meaning. Number four, temple: it's about sacred space, a place set aside to find our [00:14:00] community, to be, to live. Number five: stories; what we share that allows others and ourselves to know our values.</p>
<p>Number six: symbols; the things that represent ideas that are important to us. Number seven: number seven is the trip for me. But,  first I'll say this. So in his book, Charles Vogl describes his friend that's a Tibetan Buddhist teacher who explains inner rings. In his tradition where the rings can be mapped on a  mandala  represents wholeness and the universe with material and non-material parts.</p>
<p>So as he says, like I'll quote this quote <strong>"as one travels deeper into the community, it can be described as a journey from the outer part to the inner </strong>[00:15:00] <strong>part. And then to the secret or subtler part"</strong> unquote, he explains how the progression could look like a hierarchy, but how really every part of the Mandalah is the center.</p>
<p>And every part is connected to every other part. Now. And then he also gets into the opposite of it.  There's this whole concept of feeling left out, you know, like I  talk about, especially in the yoga before I met Maya, you know, I was so disenchanted with the yoga community because I've found it to be like, there's so many cliques and,  the different hierarchies.</p>
<p>And the thing is that within communities, there's always this striving to be part of this other inner circle within, and it's never ending. Like, if you look at the [00:16:00] corporations, if you look at jobs, there's always this hierarchy and you have to be in this inner circle for things to be better; for you to succeed. And it may not always be talked about, but there's thing, and it could get so negative and you can feel like such an outsider. So how can we, how could we not have that happen?  It happens in schools. You know, you there, there's this group, this inner circle where they have the fancy shoes, the fancy clothes.</p>
<p>Why are you looking at me like that? Because</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:16:33] you know, going back to high school, yes, there was. But who cares?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:38] It's hurtful Matt, much like how words hurt that kind of exclusion hurts. And if we can go back to the Mandala thing where every part of the circles, all circles are equal and as important because every human being every life is important, you know, that's, that's [00:17:00] my ideal.</p>
<p>That's what I strive for, for all of society. Anyway, as I've just spewed all of that out. Let me turn it over to our beautiful Maya and to you. Beautiful Matt.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:12] Yay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:13] Take it over guys while I drink some water.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:17:16] So, you know what that all brought up for me is, uh, there's a biblical term. It says where two or three are gathered in my name.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:27] I am there in the midst of them.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:17:29] Yes. And I believe that we're two and three are gathered, we have communal. So the, the most easiest thing, or the thing that motivated me was this thought that I could create a community with just a few people. And so I didn't have to have 10, I've read a lot of books. It says you need 10 people.</p>
<p>And most of the communities that I began started with just a few, you know, uh, more than myself coming together [00:18:00] to talk about things. And I think that what knits community, what keeps its values intact is having shared objectives. An objective can be to manage stress, to grieve loss of someone in the community or the community at large, the loss of something to promote change, and to provide support for one another.</p>
<p>So it can be, it can be one of those, or it could be any combination of those. And that's what sort of gets the community going down the road together is a shared interest or need. And for many of the communities that I ventured into to, to put something together, there was a need because of the extreme stress of our culture.</p>
<p>The extreme stress of our society and those [00:19:00] stressors created health challenges and community challenges in terms of the gun violence.  I'm talking about within the community violence within the community. So going into offer a, a practice that could support a community to have better communication.</p>
<p>Am I repeating that word to communicate better, to see one another as individuals to be respected and honored, to share their love and with one another, those are important tenants of community. And, the thing that I think I work, I've worked with a lot of members of the BIPOC community and something we share is Faith.</p>
<p>You know, it's many people that I talk to, they grew up where they were in some type of a religious organization or group, and they learned about having faith. So if you [00:20:00] can get people to come to community and have faith that something good will come out of this, you know, so that's what I would say, give this a try. As I mentioned when we were speaking last that, yoga can be, off putting to many,  particularly in the BIPOC community where it's not been as popular or it's not marketed to these particular people.</p>
<p>So, talking about yoga, I, Figured out a way to incorporate what were some of the community needs that yoga could impact?   When I went to the senior center to create a community there,  my first presentation was about low back pain and stiffness. So I met this community where they were. When I was  in Rhode Island, we have colleges university. So I was at Brown University and Rhode Island school of [00:21:00] design. The age of the people are so young. So I had a more energetic approach to yoga that met them, where they are. But I talked about the stiffness of leaning over a drawing board or standing for long periods , to create art or sculpting.</p>
<p>And everywhere I went, I worked; Rhode Island Aids for quite a while. And those people were, this was a long time ago. There was a lot of sick and suffering. So I talk about the healing benefits of yoga to bring relaxation in no matter what I did, the Cancer Society. It's like, yes, this is not a cure, but it is something that will help you manage it the allopathic medicine, the treatments, and remain calm and centered  or have an acceptance of what is. So I tried to look at wherever I was [00:22:00] going and say, okay, I'm going to bring yoga.  That's what my thing is, but how can I create a community with this population? So I was always looking at those four things I mentioned managing stress, grieving loss, promoting change, or how can we support one another? And that was big supporting one another was big in the aids population.  That was the most important thing that they supported one another, cause many didn't have support at home or where they were living at, et cetera.</p>
<p>So I think community is one of the most important things that we can have in our lives, you know?  I just love being a part of, I have a, I have a church community. And so when I first got into yoga and I was doing all this spiritual work, I stopped going to my regular [00:23:00] services. And then about a decade ago I felt, oh, I miss my community. You know, I miss the stories. I miss the times we'd all break bread together. I missed, um, they would always say, sing a song child. I could sing, you know, when my brother and, you know, but there was a feeling that I had gotten away from. And I'm happy to say that, that I have a wonderful church community that supports me.</p>
<p> One last thing.</p>
<p>When I went to several churches to offer yoga, these were black churches. And, um, also when I went to the Native American church, you know, they were not into hearing about yoga  you know, but once I, I would begin with the benefits of it and I would ask them to have faith in trying it, [00:24:00] like just maybe have faith because you know my family .Have faith because you know me. Have faith because that's the only way you're going to experience it in your body, mind and spirit.</p>
<p>So I was selling faith in yoga everywhere, you know, but I was not going direct to yoga. I was going around it and through it, just the way you, you mentioned about relationships. Do you know what I mean? I was, I was like from your movie, that first thing you re read made me think of how community develops and it's with all of those various,  things that you mentioned Fawn at the beginning, which I thought was really very powerful and very related to our topic, the art of community today.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:49] It's something you have to feel. I remember forever. Everyone around me, there were so many of my friends who were martial artists hardcore, [00:25:00] and yet none of them did Aikido, but they were all saying Fawn, you should try Quito. And I, and I was so set against it because it just seemed ridiculous.</p>
<p>And not until did I not until the moment I felt Aikido did I become open to it and I felt it because a friend of mine who's this black belt in Aikido, we were in a parking lot and she did a move. You know, Aikido  is very spiritual, much like yoga and spiritual and physical. And so she did this move where I had to feel it spiritually.</p>
<p>And if you understand Aikido, if you've heard our past episodes, you'll understand what I'm talking about. Like the whole point is not to harm a person's body or, or their ego. So, and it's fun. Like you feel the sense of like joy when you feel a move [00:26:00] being put upon you or, or being touched, but by a certain move.</p>
<p>So I felt it and because I felt it, it opened up my world and allowed me to meet Matt because I felt it Maya. And that's the difference between a group and a community also. A group just shares an interest, but a community cares for  welfare of another, for the welfare of another.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:34] Yeah, no, no, no. I, I agree. I mean, it sounds like  Maya, your initial kind of foray in was, you know, let's all come together as a group. And then, because we're going to share an interest, we're going to care about, you know, pain or supporting each other, or, uh, you know, we're going to focus on these things and then we're going to, we're going to figure out we're going to grow it into a community</p>
<p>[00:27:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:00] and it's all about  feeling safe..</p>
<p>You're feeling like, okay, this is not devil worshiping. I feel</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:27:06] good, but it, you know, it takes a minute, when you're in a community and I'm going back to the eighties when yoga was not popular. So, to go into a church and say, I want to talk about yoga.  I got some funny looks. I had people walk out.</p>
<p>I remember this was when I was really fledgling. I was teaching at a gym and  I opened with an OM and like five people got up and left, right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:35] No, no, no, no,</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:27:36] no, no, no. But you know what that taught me;  meet people where they are. I keep saying that because that's important. So I don't include "OM" , you know, like I said, now I'm with Yoga Alliance.</p>
<p>I'm not actively teaching, but even when I do a retreat or a special workshop, I don't have to, I do have to use the Sanskrit [00:28:00] teaching Asana, but I quickly follow with the English because to keep community, you must make people feel comfortable, as well as seen and heard and appreciated all those things come together.</p>
<p>But once you light the flame, you know, the flame for me is when I can get you to come into the room. Do you know what I mean? And it can just be the two of us. And then it grows and then it grows. And how do you do</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:30] that? How would you say, do you, do you do that, that, that first initial step of inviting someone?</p>
<p>Like when we, when we started this friendship movement, it came out of, we lived on this island, Bainbridge island. I will name it. Ridiculous. I'm sorry. All right. I will, I won't be bitter, but it came about because we could not invite people to break bread with us to save our lives. Like, like [00:29:00] finally we made one friend and Matt, we would laugh because Matt would say is all of our friend coming to dinner tonight?</p>
<p>One person out of like hundreds of people would always invite we'd. We try to start community and nobody was having any of it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:20] That point of intersection didn't fit with us. That one spot where you build the group. I mean, do you remember the couple who had the child, who they were so focused on this child was a genius.</p>
<p>This child was a genius. His child was a genius. That's not where we are. We are about, you know, seeing our children for who and what they are and helping them grow. But it's, it's not about spending five hours with them so that they can learn how to do this thing. Almost like a trick.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:47] Can I just go back?</p>
<p>I'm sorry. Now I'm stuck on this woman. So this woman was a psychologist, right? And we had her, her child, her baby was a few months older thanElle. Elle  [00:30:00] took forever to walk. There was nothing wrong with Elle, but she took  forever to walk. And the judgment that we felt from anyone that saw us was horrible because when we were alone on this island, people were not friendly.</p>
<p>We didn't have a community. The pediatrician, the, the people, the grocery store, our friends that we had, like, you know, on the outskirts, we just felt so, so judged because our baby was not walking yet. And. This psychologist, we had dinner with them. Do you remember? She w she was like, Fawn, don't worry. I mean, someday Elle could maybe work in a grocery store or something.</p>
<p>I'm like, what, like what kind of foolish, what you're a psychologist like to assume so much about us, because our baby's not walking as fast as yours and yours is obviously a declared genius, [00:31:00] by the way, Elle is a genius. But to assume that she would not that she's, something's wrong with her, you know, like, right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:11] Yeah, absolutely. But again, it's one of those moments where in my mind, at least now I'm forming my theory and my theory says, start with group build to community, you know, we did not connect with them on that point of intersection. That point that they wanted to intersect with us on, which was, we both have kids.</p>
<p>We did not gel at that point. Right versus, you know, our friend on the island, you know, we connected on our respect of culture, uh, different cultures, frankly. I think the one</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:41] friend. Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:42] Yeah. And, and that's just it. And we were able to build on that. It's, it's like when I'm at work and like, you know, I have a moment with someone or, you know, et cetera, et cetera.</p>
<p>It's like, I start thinking, okay, Maybe we can become friends. And then at some point in time, I'm [00:32:00] really rude. Cause I'll actually verbalize that to the person. I'm like, you know, I'm, I'm really starting to feel like maybe we can become friends. And, and I think sometimes people look at that and they're like, what?</p>
<p>Cause it's confusing to them. But it's important for me to have a clear definition, to have an understanding to, and if this person was like, no, then by all means, let me know. But like, you know, my friend, my, my friend. Exit L uh, It took forever for us to connect and, and for us to actually build a quote unquote friendship and that word that we're maintaining now that we're not actually working with each other every single day.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:36] I feel like these days to, uh, to try to befriend someone or try to bring community, it's like dealing with a stray dog on the street, that's hurt. And you're like, come here. I have food and water for you, you know, over here. And you have to be so careful because they'll get spooked and they'll run away all because you want to be a friend.</p>
<p>So that was my question for Maya.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:32:58] One of the things [00:33:00] that I've learned is when I want to create community or even befriend someone,  I'm stepping out on faith. I just like, you know, I'm going to make this call. I'm going to say, do you want to get together for lunch? I have a friend now that that's how it started.</p>
<p>We were both presenters at a program and I asked, she asked me something and I just liked the way she looked. And  later, I sent her, this was pre pandemic. Um, you know, I said, would you like to have lunch? And, I was reaching out on faith. I didn't know if she'd reject me or not.</p>
<p>And so we went to lunch and this is maybe four years now. And I don't see her every week. I don't hang out, but we are friends. Do you know what I mean? And every so often she'll reach out to me. Let's do a zoom lunch or through the pandemic and I'll say, no, let's have zoom breakfast, [00:34:00] you know, or recently we went out on my birthday for my birthday that week in the end of April, because some places were open here in Rhode Island. And,  so it was awkward because it was my first time out, you know, without my husband anywhere. And so, but it was good to see her. And I just enjoyed that I took the leap of faith. And I think that's the same with creating community. You have to have faith in what you believe in. Like, I believe that people of color should learn about yoga, so it would help manage the asthma, diabetes and the things that disproportionately impact this community.</p>
<p>I'm stepping out on faith. A lot of people laughed at me many years ago when I would talk about yoga. They would make jokes. They would be: here she comes, you know? And, um, [00:35:00] one of the women who always made a joke about me around a group, not my group, I would just be anywhere and she'd start this whole thing.</p>
<p>She became one of my best students, you know, something shifted in her years later and she came to me. But like I didn't hold a grudge Wells. No,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:24] you know what, frankly, I'm like searching my mind and I'm thinking about yoga. Oh, you're going to love this. This is the total guy perspective. Okay. Are you ready? Are you ready for this?</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:35:32] I'm ready.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:32] So two events or two things of yoga back in the eighties I think about. Number one is, oh God, there's a game. There's a video game called Street Fighter II. And it's it's it's, it's a fighting game. One of the characters was Dhalsim who wore a necklace with skulls on it. He was a yoga master and that was his martial art. Wow. And he was just, he was just, he was, he was kind of a bad guy cause he wore [00:36:00] skulls. And um, he wasn't the bad guy, but he was a bad guy.</p>
<p>And it's like, that was, that was, you know, if you paid attention, if you studied the game and all the rest of it yoga, he was a yoga guy and they took that from a movie back in like the early seventies, which was a. Shaw brothers, which are known for like, you know, martial arts, arts martial, already movies.</p>
<p>And, and there was a, there was a yoga master who, again, you know, that, that was his thing. And they, they, I think they even addressed him as a, as a yoga master. He was absolutely a bad guy. And the name of the movie, which of course appeals to my 11 year old self was "The Master of the Flying Guillotine."</p>
<p>And this.</p>
<p>Yeah. Places where I intersected with yoga. So, you know, I completely understand why people looked at yoga cross-eyed because frankly, you know, if I had never grown from there, if the [00:37:00] S if the world had never grown from there, I just assume it was a, it was some kind of weird martial art for, you know, people who weren't me.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:37:09] Yeah. You know, when, uh, when I told my family that I was going to go to India to study. Um, my family had an intervention with me, my kids, my mother, everybody came over and they were saying, you know, we don't understand what's happening with you. And, uh, blah dee dah..., uh, you know, it went on and on and I just was so strong in my faith.</p>
<p>I said, you know, thank you. I'm going, I'm leaving on such and such a date.  I put my faith out there and the universe supported me with, with finances, with mortgage payments, with living in India for three months, money, you know, everything came together. So I knew I was supposed to go. And I knew that my family just had to [00:38:00] grow up. They either had to accept me or not. I really, I was an adult, so I was like, whatever. Um, and, but my kids, my poor little kids, they weren't little, but they were like, mom, you shouldn't do this. And I'm like, hang in there. I'll be fine. And my daughter is a great yogini today. Nice. You know, so things change things shift.</p>
<p>Thank the Lord. I've stepped out on faith, in everything that I've done. I believed in what I was doing. And then I asked the divine how, however you frame it. I asked for support, you know, like, please let one person come. People come to the library where I would offer these free works free, free, and free information sessions, workshops, whatever.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:52] It seems like. So the key is an invitation. So you invite someone much like going back to [00:39:00] childhood, Hey, you want to play, you want to have some lunch? Will you  have some coffee with me? You know, it's going back to that innocence. It's about inviting.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:12] I would say it actually starts. With your inner Popeye, because everything starts with your inner Popeye</p>
<p>we</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:17] go again with the Popeye,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:18] your inner Popeye I am, I am. And being strong inside of who you are, I think is where it starts, because then an invitation can be seen as a, as an element of weakness in martial arts, the person who is putting something out. Is not as stable, as strong as the person who is defending.</p>
<p>Ah,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:38] is that why people think I'm weak because I'm always the one to invite. That's why people assume that about me</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:46] is that why also, you know, there's hierarchies and friendships and there's alphas and betas and Gamma's and deltas people</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:39:53] in martial arts do this. They, they back in bring people to them like.</p>
<p>[00:40:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:00] Sometimes. Yes. Yes. It's, it's, it's, it's a huge mock move because it's also intended to get the person to, get frustrated or get angry or get cause as soon as those things happen, you know, you're out of your inner Popeye and so you're weaker.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:40:15] Yep. Oh, that is, this is very interesting. Stepping out.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:20] Hey, actually</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:40:22] your own inner pop-up.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:24] Your, your inner Popeye. I am who I am and being strong  inside of that, regardless of how the rest of the world perceives you. You know, I know for, for example, for me, I know that, oh my goodness, am I sophomoric all the time? Yes, absolutely. And I'm comfortable with that. And I'm comfortable with the fact that people look at my musical tastes and, and don't even understand them, you know?</p>
<p>And,  I'm comfortable with that. I have to be, otherwise I'm going to walk around nervous and yeah looking at shadows and the whole rest of it. I mean, who cares? You know, at the end of the day, I like what I like by all means like what you like, [00:41:00] but we, you know, we'll we find an intersection and music.</p>
<p>Oh Lord. Probably not.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:41:05] Absolutely. Yeah. That's one of the most subjective things I can think of is one's music. Exactly.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:12] You know, what, what moves you and what moves me? Those can be very different things, but , we can intersect on so many other levels.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:20] So let's say that we have the community together.</p>
<p>What do we do when we reach the problem of the inner circles I was talking about? Like, what do we do with the cliques? What do we do when we feel pushed out or you notice someone's being pushed out, or when, you know, when it's time to leave a community, do you leave a community? When do you know when it's time for you to start something?</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:41:46] You know, I think,  if you set ground rules where everyone can speak their truth, then you can share that in community. I think. Esther or whoever, whatever her name is, [00:42:00] is being treated differently. Let's look at that. How do you feel, Esther? Bring it up in the group. That's one way, and then there are times when  you must know yourself and your inner Popeye and say, this is not for me.</p>
<p>I thought this would be something else, but it's become a, a place where people gossip and treat each other badly. It's like, see you later BYE.. And, you know, you move away from that. You move away from it. So there can be no rules that's set in stone, around community, you step out and faith and you hope that it becomes a nourishing, nurturing group of people with the common interest that you brought to them or they realized as a part, you know, maybe, maybe we start out, we, uh, we practice yoga and then we become a community that also does walking. You know, maybe, maybe some people [00:43:00] love walking. So we walk and we have, we go to yoga, we have yoga class and then we do walking or we have yoga class and we do line dancing.</p>
<p>A great many of my yoga students loved line dancing. And so we went line dancing, you know, and many of them stayed in the line dance group in the yoga group for many years. People would come to yoga and they'd be talking about what happened in the last line dance class. But that grew out of the community in the yoga class.</p>
<p>There's so many things that can happen with a community. I think the key thing is to just stay aware and  stay true, to what you believe and think.  That's the thing. And if things go awry, you know, then it didn't work. And feel  comfortable saying, well, I tried, [00:44:00] I'm going to bid you adieu. So, get on with your business,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:06] Is this how  you started the BIPOC community and yoga Maya had it. I mean, I don't know, because I was feeling like I was the only one that was being squeezed out of the yoga community, surrounded by a certain group. And I'm like, wait a minute, you guys, I feel like you have, what's the word appropriate?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:26] Cultural appropriation.Is that</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:29] my culture. And then you're squeezing me out and saying, I don't belong. Like, like the only person that's like, not white. Like I, I just felt so out of place and thank goodness for some miracle that led me to you, Maya, because I'm like, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm not the only one that's felt this way, obviously, because there's this group here, that's being supported and Maya is heading it.   How [00:45:00] did you start that community? How did you see it?</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:45:03] The community that I started, two communities, one was The Yoga Retreat for Women of Color and the other was The Black Yoga Teachers Alliance. SoThe Black Yoga Teachers Alliance was to say to the world, there are black yoga teachers. And we can support one another. We can do conferences, we can do all sorts of things to keep us on top of our knowledge and our wisdom and what we need to teach yoga. The yoga retreat for women of color was to support the needs of women of color, who in all categories that I know black indigenous Asian have, have been struggling so hard either with lack of resources, lack of employment opportunities, just being disenfranchised in this culture. And I, so that group having some common interests and [00:46:00] said, Hey, let's do this, let's do this. We'll base it on yoga. And out from that group came a dance class, like I would have a weekend and we do dancing. We do meditating. We do yoga. We do long walks by the beach up at Kripalu. And that was where I offered that program. But in everything, it was sticking to what I believe. You know, I remember I went on a job interview many years ago and um, so the guy asked me, he said, what is it that you could bring to this job?</p>
<p>And I said, Sticktuitiveness I had read that word and the description of it. And I thought that describes me to a T you know, I'm like a dog with a bone, I'm like, let me do my thing. So, so I think that I have a lot of chutzpah and courage and I step out on faith. Now I always do my [00:47:00] homework. You know what I mean?</p>
<p>Like I'll, I, I research, well, what can, how can I do this?  Who can I invite to the core group?  I started with one person, and this person was not a person of color. She was my dearest friend, Eva Wolf was her name. And I talked her ear off for months. We'd have meetings.</p>
<p>We'd gather, I talk about my vision and my dream. You know, so it started here when I had the first yoga retreat for women of color. And I told you there were like 118 people because of an Essence Magazine in the center of this picture of glorious women of color is this little white face. And it's my friend, Eva..</p>
<p>Cause I said to her, I can't do this without you. You gotta come with me. So, she came to the first yoga retreat for women of color, you know, cause it wasn't about separating from other people. It was just about [00:48:00] reaching out to those people who didn't know about it and know how beneficial it would be, you know?</p>
<p>And, um, I just want to mention that at The Yoga Alliance, the rationale behind my hire is to work across all department, and to help them  change the landscape of yoga, change the lens of yoga, so it's more diverse and,  has more equity is more diverse, inclusive, and accessible.</p>
<p> One of the first programs that we did was teaching for equity, which is an international program that provides stipends to teach marginalized groups or groups that haven't historically been in yoga. So I see this organization moving that way, so I'm really happy to be with this organization.</p>
<p>And now using my experience, skill, wit, [00:49:00] grit, wisdom to move things , so  that my grandson won't ask me what's yoga, you know, because it will be in his school. It'll be, uh, he'll look around, he'll see teachers who look like him. And I think that is happening today.  I'm just very pleased that from building community, from starting with these little communities, and going into every community to teach yoga that I could,  throughout Rhode Island where I live, I was able  to move through  the yoga world to become a member of the yoga Alliance, which is  a credentialing organization for all of yoga.</p>
<p>So, I think that my inner Popeye has guided me well, you know, and so, I mean, I'm very grateful, but it's my inner Popeye that's gotten me [00:50:00] through the maze of sitting back and being at a yoga journal conference and saying there's 800 people here and there are five black people. What is wrong with this picture? Why am I teaching here, if there is so few of us? And that's one of the things that triggered me.  Like I could be accepted and I could teach everywhere, but the majority that I taught were not BIPOC people. So that's what rubbed me and made me say, oh, I gotta  be, someone who helps be the change.</p>
<p>I wanted to help make the change  and be the change.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:42] Thank goodness for that. Thank goodness for that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:45] Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:46] I mean, because much like how Maya invites people to lunch, right? Invites people to come to the library to hear something about or taste something that she brought a little snack with her [00:51:00] along with a yoga class.</p>
<p>I think there needs to be if you can invite yourself into a group, like, I want to invite myself to Maya's yoga retreats because, you know, I can't, I feel like I'm the black sheep in this huge neighborhood. Like the only one, like, I don't know where my people are, where we're living, but,</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:51:25] well, Fawn and I want to extend you an invitation.</p>
<p>You will be my guest at the next yoga retreat for women of color, , it's all online and it's through the Kripalu center. So there we are, we're using their platform. And so I hope</p>
<p>you'll be able to</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:43] Confession . I signed up last night.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:51:46] Oh</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:48] no, wait, this is going to air after that</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:51] happened.</p>
<p>You know what? Maybe I didn't do it. Right. I am so grateful for the invitation. I want to be there. I'm there I am there. My a [00:52:00] please. Yes. All right.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:52:01] So let me, let me invite you in our work. That will work all the details.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:05] Um, and, and so I want to let everyone know when you look at their show notes, all these links are there to connect with Maya, to connect with these retreats.</p>
<p> It's all there. And if you want to feel community, please listen to Maya. Is there any little bowl? You have Matt, as we wrap up, because I know that  Maya has to go</p>
<p> <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:31] well, looking before we started this episode, I started really taking a look at a Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It goes from  enough food to physical safety, to belongingness and love needs being met, which I think is where groups start. And then it gets to esteem needs where we belong to a group and also we feel good  getting positive reinforcement about who we are to self-actualization, which takes us all the way out to really us really [00:53:00] becoming the best us we can be. And  I really think that, groups start on this level three and can take us all the way up to this level five.</p>
<p>So we should definitely be focused on,  these are the things that were identified as physical needs by Maslow in like the forties and yeah. Boom. I feels like I just kind of dropped it. That's</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:53:21] it. That's</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:21] beautiful. Isn't it? We have our pretty little bow. Thank you, Matt.</p>
<p>Thank you. And Maya. Thank you. I, we, I will speak for Matt too, right? Matt. We want to just talk with you and hang out with you Maya every day,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:37] You have any internal invitation back to the show.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:53:40] Well, thank you very much. And I wish you guys continued success with our friendly world. And NAMASTE., </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:48] Namaste, oh my God. Thank you so much.</p>
<p>And we're going to be on Maya's shows. Look out for that. We'll send you all the links to that too.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:53:59] Unity in [00:54:00] yoga podcast, I'm look forward to having you as my guest.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:03] I am so grateful that we met Maya what a wonderful, beautiful, loving human being you are! You are such a star and we feel so blessed by you being in our lives.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:54:18] Thank you Fawn, and I appreciate that and I'm very happy to have met both of you and, and I look forward to getting to know you and, and become friends.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:29] Oh yes. Yes. I feel like we've been friends in and out of time. I am so looking forward to breaking bread with you in person.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:54:39] Amen.</p>
<p>I agree.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:41] We love you.</p>
<p>Thank you so much.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:54:43] You're so welcome.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:45] Thank you friends for listening. We will be back in a few days. Take care, everyone be kind and send out some invitations for breaking bread, having a sip of coffee or something. [00:55:00] All right. Talk to you all later.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[One of our favorite friends is back! Maya Breuer joins us again as we further explore the art of community.
We begin with a quote from the movie, "Your Name":  "They assemble and take shape. They twist, tangle, unravel now and then, break and reconnect. That's what a union is; what time is."
We've been really delving into the art of community here and really trying to hone in on exactly what community is and how we can have it, how we can create it, how we can continue with it,  with the changing times and everything.
Community is society, it's a fellowship, it's a kind of public spirit and to an embrace, a place of connection, a place where we are not alone, a place of enrichment.  It is a home of safety and protection. It is about being stronger and happier and having the sense of wellbeing. It is about being heard and getting acknowledged and VALUED. 
It is about feeling supported, respected, cared for and having this feeling of love for each other. It is about compassion and love.
 
TRANSCRIPT:
Transcript-285
[00:00:00] Maya: [00:00:00] Her mother taught me the way she taught her. Nice. But I w as I got as my mother and I reconnected years later, she taught me special things because she was a terrific cook, but it was my grandmother who led the way. Nice. Yeah. 
Fawn: [00:00:16] Not you Matt, right. Those ladies did not like anything to do with like the home, 
Matt: [00:00:24] the day, every single meal.
Put it in the oven for 350 for an hour
Maya: [00:00:30] now. Oh, was it? Uh, oh no, they just 
Fawn: [00:00:36] to this day, like Matt has been Matt and I have been together longer than he's been with his family. And to this day he's still traumatized and we can't eat certain things because it makes him remember childhood. So, you know, I'm middle Eastern.
So of course there's fresh beets and garlic and onions. And. And, you know, like raw veggies and all kinds of stuff. And he's like, I [00:01:00] can't do that. I can't have the watermelon, I can't have this. I can't have watermelon, 
Matt: [00:01:04] had nothing to do with my family, but it had to do with your childhood and your stuff stuck on it.
But 
Maya: [00:01:10] you know, it, it really takes a while to get over childhood stuff. I mean, how much longer is it going to take? How much longer is it going to take? Sometimes you never get over it. You know, when I was kid. I grew up with my grandparents and my aunt. And they would do this thing where all the, if, if other people came every other fancy stuff got shared and then like, like I re I like today I can not eat a broken cookie because we, they would go to the market and buy bags of broke.
You know, you could buy a bag of broken cookies. I love the 
Fawn: [00:01:50] Dale 
Maya: [00:01:51] bakeries and that was for the kids. And then we also had bagged fruit. I can't eat bagged fruit or broken [00:02:00] cookies. Oh Maya. We need, I could eat it, but I'm just, um, what do you call it? I'm rebelling. I must have a whole cookie. I must have a fresh piece of fruit that does not isn't stapled in a bag and at a lower price 
Fawn: [00:02:16] you deserve, you deserve.
A whole cookie. 
Maya: [00:02:20] I deserve a whole cookie and they, and, um, you know, they were my grandparents. They will lovely. I realized they were just trying to make ends meet, but still, I 
Fawn: [00:02:30] didn't like it. I wonder about Elle and  Alegra because that's what we do when we go to the store, we go for the bags that are like unacceptable....]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/BreuerM.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:59:36</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Dissatisfaction]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Aug 2021 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/dissatisfaction</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/dissatisfaction</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>A rant on dissatisfaction and the desire to really live life!</p>
<p>Fawn needs your support on this one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] We weren't supposed to record today. We weren't. No, because,  not because of the show, but I've been experiencing burnout, major burnout, not because of the show. This show gives me life, but check it out. So the book I'm reading <strong>burnout</strong>. Um,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:19] hi, this is a hi this is Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:24] welcome to our friendly world.</p>
<p>It doesn't feel so friendly for me right now. I woke up <strong>dissatisfied</strong>,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:30] but the world is opening back up.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:31] It is, I went to bed mad at you. I woke up even more mad at you. And then we got into a little fight. And during our fight, I said, you know what? Let's record our fight. Let's just record what we're talking about.</p>
<p>Cause it's not a fight the way you think of a fight. The way we fight is we fight the way we do. Just our, whatever, here, here it goes, guys. So emotional exhaustion as defined by, these two ladies who wrote the book <strong>"Burnout, The </strong>[00:01:00] <strong>secret of Unlocking the Stress C ycle, Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski DMA.</strong></p>
<p>What, what do you want to see? The clever they're twins. Okay. Let's rock. All right.<strong> So there are three components of emotional exhaustion</strong>, which is what burnout is. Okay. Okay. So number one, emotional exhaustion, the fatigue that comes from caring too much for too long. So when you're worried about someone you love it, doesn't go away.</p>
<p>You're a parent. You're worried. You're frickin worried all the time, never ending.  Personalization is number two, the depletion of empathy, caring and compassion. Number three is decreased sense of accomplishment and unconquerable sense of futility, feeling that nothing you do makes any difference.</p>
<p>I feel number one and number [00:02:00] three, I don't feel number two because empathy is totally there. Compassion is totally there. I feel a decreased sense of accomplishment and I want to cry just saying that, and I feel <strong>emotionally exhausted</strong> and the way we start our morning together, cause you wake up so much earlier than I do, but then I go to bed at 3 30, 4 o'clock, five o'clock in the morning sometimes.</p>
<p> And then I wake up early. So I just woke up just upset. And I, the, the way we started our day together was you came in and we started talking and I said, Matt, I am done. I'm <strong>done waiting. I want to live my life. </strong>We've been waiting for 16 years. Sure, we've done things. We've had different moves. We've had children, you know, we've made things happen, but it feels like we are waiting.</p>
<p>You're waiting on [00:03:00] the perfect job opportunity. I'm waiting for things to take off with my career. I am waiting for this. I'm waiting for that. You're waiting for it your way. All we do is wait and I feel so dissatisfied. And so what's the third one decreased sense of accomplishment.</p>
<p>And one of the things we were talking about today this morning was, I don't. I never wanted to live in Colorado. I don't understand this place. And even though I grew up in California and part of my college education was in Northern California. And then we ended up there for a couple minutes, which was what, two years?</p>
<p>Right around the Sausalito area. It was not okay for me.  Sorry, California. Sorry, Colorado. But honestly, even though Santa Monica is in California, I know guys, but when I... help me figure this out. So this episode today, I want your [00:04:00] help, friends listening  out there,  can you please email me and talk to me because I seriously can't figure this out.</p>
<p>And I don't know if you can,...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[A rant on dissatisfaction and the desire to really live life!
Fawn needs your support on this one.
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] We weren't supposed to record today. We weren't. No, because,  not because of the show, but I've been experiencing burnout, major burnout, not because of the show. This show gives me life, but check it out. So the book I'm reading burnout. Um,
Matt: [00:00:19] hi, this is a hi this is Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt
Fawn: [00:00:24] welcome to our friendly world.
It doesn't feel so friendly for me right now. I woke up dissatisfied,
Matt: [00:00:30] but the world is opening back up.
Fawn: [00:00:31] It is, I went to bed mad at you. I woke up even more mad at you. And then we got into a little fight. And during our fight, I said, you know what? Let's record our fight. Let's just record what we're talking about.
Cause it's not a fight the way you think of a fight. The way we fight is we fight the way we do. Just our, whatever, here, here it goes, guys. So emotional exhaustion as defined by, these two ladies who wrote the book "Burnout, The [00:01:00] secret of Unlocking the Stress C ycle, Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski DMA.
What, what do you want to see? The clever they're twins. Okay. Let's rock. All right. So there are three components of emotional exhaustion, which is what burnout is. Okay. Okay. So number one, emotional exhaustion, the fatigue that comes from caring too much for too long. So when you're worried about someone you love it, doesn't go away.
You're a parent. You're worried. You're frickin worried all the time, never ending.  Personalization is number two, the depletion of empathy, caring and compassion. Number three is decreased sense of accomplishment and unconquerable sense of futility, feeling that nothing you do makes any difference.
I feel number one and number [00:02:00] three, I don't feel number two because empathy is totally there. Compassion is totally there. I feel a decreased sense of accomplishment and I want to cry just saying that, and I feel emotionally exhausted and the way we start our morning together, cause you wake up so much earlier than I do, but then I go to bed at 3 30, 4 o'clock, five o'clock in the morning sometimes.
 And then I wake up early. So I just woke up just upset. And I, the, the way we started our day together was you came in and we started talking and I said, Matt, I am done. I'm done waiting. I want to live my life. We've been waiting for 16 years. Sure, we've done things. We've had different moves. We've had children, you know, we've made things happen, but it feels like we are waiting.
You're waiting on [00:03:00] the perfect job opportunity. I'm waiting for things to take off with my career. I am waiting for this. I'm waiting for that. You're waiting for it your way. All we do is wait and I feel so dissatisfied. And so what's the third one decreased sense of accomplishment.
And one of the things we were talking about today this morning was, I don't. I never wanted to live in Colorado. I don't understand this place. And even though I grew up in California and part of my college education was in Northern California. And then we ended up there for a couple minutes, which was what, two years?
Right around the Sausalito area. It was not okay for me.  Sorry, California. Sorry, Colorado. But honestly, even though Santa Monica is in California, I know guys, but when I... help me figure this out. So this episode today, I want your [00:04:00] help, friends listening  out there,  can you please email me and talk to me because I seriously can't figure this out.
And I don't know if you can,...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Dissatisfaction]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>A rant on dissatisfaction and the desire to really live life!</p>
<p>Fawn needs your support on this one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] We weren't supposed to record today. We weren't. No, because,  not because of the show, but I've been experiencing burnout, major burnout, not because of the show. This show gives me life, but check it out. So the book I'm reading <strong>burnout</strong>. Um,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:19] hi, this is a hi this is Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:24] welcome to our friendly world.</p>
<p>It doesn't feel so friendly for me right now. I woke up <strong>dissatisfied</strong>,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:30] but the world is opening back up.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:31] It is, I went to bed mad at you. I woke up even more mad at you. And then we got into a little fight. And during our fight, I said, you know what? Let's record our fight. Let's just record what we're talking about.</p>
<p>Cause it's not a fight the way you think of a fight. The way we fight is we fight the way we do. Just our, whatever, here, here it goes, guys. So emotional exhaustion as defined by, these two ladies who wrote the book <strong>"Burnout, The </strong>[00:01:00] <strong>secret of Unlocking the Stress C ycle, Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski DMA.</strong></p>
<p>What, what do you want to see? The clever they're twins. Okay. Let's rock. All right.<strong> So there are three components of emotional exhaustion</strong>, which is what burnout is. Okay. Okay. So number one, emotional exhaustion, the fatigue that comes from caring too much for too long. So when you're worried about someone you love it, doesn't go away.</p>
<p>You're a parent. You're worried. You're frickin worried all the time, never ending.  Personalization is number two, the depletion of empathy, caring and compassion. Number three is decreased sense of accomplishment and unconquerable sense of futility, feeling that nothing you do makes any difference.</p>
<p>I feel number one and number [00:02:00] three, I don't feel number two because empathy is totally there. Compassion is totally there. I feel a decreased sense of accomplishment and I want to cry just saying that, and I feel <strong>emotionally exhausted</strong> and the way we start our morning together, cause you wake up so much earlier than I do, but then I go to bed at 3 30, 4 o'clock, five o'clock in the morning sometimes.</p>
<p> And then I wake up early. So I just woke up just upset. And I, the, the way we started our day together was you came in and we started talking and I said, Matt, I am done. I'm <strong>done waiting. I want to live my life. </strong>We've been waiting for 16 years. Sure, we've done things. We've had different moves. We've had children, you know, we've made things happen, but it feels like we are waiting.</p>
<p>You're waiting on [00:03:00] the perfect job opportunity. I'm waiting for things to take off with my career. I am waiting for this. I'm waiting for that. You're waiting for it your way. All we do is wait and I feel so dissatisfied. And so what's the third one decreased sense of accomplishment.</p>
<p>And one of the things we were talking about today this morning was, I don't. I never wanted to live in Colorado. I don't understand this place. And even though I grew up in California and part of my college education was in Northern California. And then we ended up there for a couple minutes, which was what, two years?</p>
<p>Right around the Sausalito area. It was not okay for me.  Sorry, California. Sorry, Colorado. But honestly, even though Santa Monica is in California, I know guys, but when I... help me figure this out. So this episode today, I want your [00:04:00] help, friends listening  out there,  can you please email me and talk to me because I seriously can't figure this out.</p>
<p>And I don't know if you can, either Matt, cause I, I tell you what I'm feeling and all you do is listen. And I just feel like nothing happens. I need someone to talk to me. It likes to figure this out, but like here we are in Colorado and forgive me , can I just because this, by saying that I do feel burnt out something to say some stuff that seems so futile and I don't mean it to sound that way.</p>
<p>So I don't mean to say all of humanity sucks in Colorado and then all of humanity sucks in California, but just allow me to just be sloppy with the way I'm talking right now, just so I can get my words out so I can understand what it is I'm truly feeling. And if any of you out there feel the same way that I'm feeling, it doesn't have to be about California or Colorado.</p>
<p>But,  it [00:05:00] is, that's the feeling. Please let me know. So here it goes. So, okay. So I'm like, all right, I'm tired of waiting, man. Pandemic aside, it's not just the pandemic. We have been waiting, waiting on whatever it is.  One of the hell moments in my university life was studying English literature and I hate took, took off ski.</p>
<p>Is that how you say his name? It's been so long. I, I hated it. Russian</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:30] Mader? No, Tchaikovsky's a Russian composer. Chekhov.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:35] Thank you. Oh my God. Thank you. And not the star Trek character. Part of my English literature education was we studied Chekhov and I hated it. It was weird because he's not English.</p>
<p>I know. Right. but we were studying <strong>Chekhov</strong> and we went to see <strong>Chekhov plays</strong> and I'm like, can I just curse on this one show? Like I could stop you. No, no, I just, you know, I, I've made a [00:06:00] decision, never to use bad language on our podcast, but I so want to today I'll try not to.</p>
<p>Okay. So the whole time I remember going to this one play, they were like saying next time, next time, next time in I'm blanking out on everything. What's the city called, uh, in Russia, Moscow, Moscow. But are you familiar with some Chekhov?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:29] Uh, how much land does a man need? I believe as a checkoff, which is just again,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:33] messed up.</p>
<p> I've deleted everything Chekhov  out of my head  just sitting through a play was torture like, oh, I guess maybe that was the point. Like the whole play was about waiting.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:43] And waiting</p>
<p>for Godot. Is it. </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:45] I don't know if that's Chekhov. No, that's not  Chekhov</p>
<p>we're all over the place. No, I'm, I'm trying to, I'm trying to bring it around, but the whole thing was about waiting and it was pure. Hell, hell. And I'm tired of waiting. I want to live my life. I want to have some [00:07:00] fun. I want to live. And even though we have been living, I feel like we really have not been living.</p>
<p>And maybe because  a few days ago I called Martine for help. Like you just call your friends and you're like, I need you right now. So I called Martine and Martine is a friend of mine and I really want to have her on our show.  She's always on the go.</p>
<p>She is such an inspiration. She always has been . I've known her since I was pretty much a kid.</p>
<p>Like we met in San Francisco. I met her when I was 18 and she, she lives life to the fullest. She doesn't give a fish, you know, fish and chip from our previous episode, I'm trying not to use bad language. She doesn't give a fish and she, you can just see her. She is going down a steep mountain on skis, not even holding her poles, she's holding  her phone [00:08:00] and videotaping herself, like go screaming down this mountain.</p>
<p>Right. And then the next day she's  river rafting, a scary, big wavy river. I don't know how you would describe that. You know what I mean? Like major rapids.  Then she's sipping on margaritas and mojitos with her friends, clink, clink, clink, like, you know, cheering each other. The next day after that, and she's on a yacht,  they're like, uh, and she doesn't care. The world is her playground. She's always in some area of the world enjoying life to the fullest. And even when we were  18, 19, She would laugh in the face of danger.</p>
<p>She would laugh at it like it was a little, what's another word. Instead of using the B word. Like if w if it, the, the B word that describes a female dog, she would look at the horrors of life. Like, it was a little B word, like just in the face of things. She couldn't care a [00:09:00] fish . And that's so inspiring.</p>
<p>So I did talk to her a few days ago and I think that's what, like brought the fire in me again, like God, son of a biscuit, what are we waiting for? This is ridiculous. This is like, I feel like we're in hell. I do. That's how I feel. And I'm like, she's like, well, why don't you just go out and just go out? I'm like, I don't even want to go out.</p>
<p>You don't understand. I don't even want to go out. I don't want to see these people in my community.  I'm sorry to say that. But I feel so disconnected. And even if I think of going somewhere that I like we're bound to run into someone with resting B face that we know.</p>
<p> I was thinking about it. I'm like, is it just Colorado? Like ever since we moved here, I have not met one person that we can like giggle about. And I'm not saying in a mean way, like giggle about like I'm okay. I, we started to come up with <strong>lists of people we </strong>[00:10:00] <strong>adored</strong> and these people, some of them were pains in the tuchuses right.</p>
<p>But they were so awesome. You know what I mean? Even though maybe we didn't even get along, they were fabulous, man. And even at the time I thought they were fabulous. I'm like, okay, I can't hang with them, but guy, they're fabulous. I love them. I love them. And so. We started to make a list. Right? And like, so what is it? </p>
<p>I'll start with Santa Monica and then, you know, even Washington state, I was telling you once we moved out away from port Townsend, that's when the harshness started for us was when we moved to Bainbridge island.</p>
<p>And it was before we bought the house. All of a sudden there was so much racism, all of a sudden link that was hurled at me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:52] It does feel that way.</p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:53] It didn't feel that way at all in port Townsend. It's like all of a sudden it happened and it's [00:11:00] been hard ever since, and it's been years and years now.</p>
<p>So let me go back to Santa Monica. I guess we can use this as a nugget of wisdom, but I'll just, I was just remembering, I was talking to KJ and Beth yesterday.  We were talking about different things and I just started talking about some of our friends from the neighborhood that I haven't even talked about on this show, one of them was Don.</p>
<p>Do you remember Don? Would</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:26] I only met him like two</p>
<p>or three</p>
<p>times.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:28] Okay. So a lot of stuff happened before Matt moved into the neighborhood.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:33] Lots of things on both sides.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:36] So what do you mean on both sides?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:38] Like I had a life too, you know,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:40] I know. Um, but I'm talking about the whole internship  with Santa Monica, the whole  mentorship and so when I got off of a corporate job, I was a photographer for a  big corporation. That was very cool. But you know, once again, I got burnt out and I left and I said, you know [00:12:00] what? I'd rather serve coffee. Right. And so I did, and we, we worked at this little coffee shop that was also a bookstore.</p>
<p>And I met the greatest people and it was a place I used to go to years before that. And so one of the people from Santa Monica nuggets of wisdom, jewels was Don.  I worked with Don at  the coffee shop and he was like, he kind of looked like and acted like the character from that movie, three weddings and a funeral.</p>
<p>Do you remember that movie? You've never seen it, never seen it. It was a character who was older and he had a beard and he had like the belly and he was the one that was the life of the party.  He had so much wisdom and calm about him. But at the same time  he was off the hook, like crazy in a good way, the life of the party wise, all that stuff. So that was Don and he looked [00:13:00] sloppy, but he was the most intellectual caring, joyful person. He really like just talking to him. It sounded like he had just tasted the best dessert on the planet. You know, when some people talk, you feel like they have food in their mouth, not because they have food in their mouth, but because they have this delicious taste in their mouth, do you understand what I'm saying?</p>
<p>Like when you talk to them, when someone has a great delicious food and then when they talk right after they swallow it, there's this sound quality that comes from the spirit as well as their mouth is satisfied. Like it's, it's just, I don't know. I've always had that, that, that, um, what's the word I've always had that impression of people that are in a good place at that particular second.</p>
<p>And that's what it reminds me of. I'm like, they must have tasted something [00:14:00] delicious, right? It's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:00] like they have a secret. No, they have a delicious</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:04] secret. You have. It's not that it's a secret, but you have just tasted greatness. You have been satisfied. You've been nourished that second.</p>
<p>Fair</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:15] enough.</p>
<p>I meant to say they've experienced relampago, or a great enlightenment,</p>
<p> <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:21] like a tiramisu,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:24] or they've just discerned the meaning of the universe.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:27] But that was done and serving coffee with him was a trip.  He used to be a manager of a really big bookstore in LA called the Phoenix. Do you remember the Phoenix?</p>
<p>Did you ever? I never went to, but you heard about it, right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:39] You never heard about the Phoenix</p>
<p>change of Hobit.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:44] And I want to say it sounds familiar, but maybe because of all your weird Hobbit movies, I don't know exactly ...Tolkin.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:51] So go ahead or I'm sorry. Or Opp amp.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:55] Okay. All right. But everyone knew the Phoenix and Santa Monica, the Phoenix [00:15:00] bookstore.</p>
<p> So we're working at this coffee shop and as soon as he started his shift, he would blast music. It was so worldly and he was Caucasian. And here I am the middle Eastern, right. And middle Eastern, so afraid of really exposing my middle Eastern ways or, you know, my middle Eastern heritage.</p>
<p>Like there's so much that I've had to hide to survive that it's almost taboo for me to listen to anything out loud or to, to expose that to people. But here comes Don. Starts our shift. And  a lot of what he played was Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan.  He would blast this music.</p>
<p>It's very spiritual music. It's a lot of wailing. It's very spiritual. It's beautiful, but it's no doubt, no mistaken, middle Eastern. And he would blast this so loud and he looked intoxicated when he was listening [00:16:00] to it. He didn't do any drugs or anything like that. He drank Pepsi, like a crazy person though.</p>
<p>Like he always had to have cans of Pepsi  he was addicted. That was his thing. But</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:16:11] so he's working in a coffee shop, slinging lattes. He just got a coffee under the counter.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:15] Yeah. He didn't drink coffee. It was like, he had to, uh, he traveled with cans of Pepsi. Oh my goodness.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:16:21] Could have saved himself a ton of money because if you work as a barista,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:25] you Pepsi a coffee.</p>
<p>Now that I think about it, that was my nickname. Growing up was Pepsi. I have. That's another story you guys I'll tell you some other time. I think I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:16:35] still have my Pepsi</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:36] watch. Right? So he would blast this music and there were, there were these people that didn't really live in the neighborhood. They were very straight laced, Caucasian people, very, um, what's the word?</p>
<p>Uptight, uptight. Uptight is the word. So they would come up to the counter and demand he turn off that music oh dear. [00:17:00] And like, they would say, what is this shot?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:05] We need a British food guy.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:06] What is this Shiitake you're listening to turn it off, turn it off. I don't want to hear that. So, and he wouldn't, he would get, he would make them go out there.</p>
<p>Like you get out, get out. You're 86. I'm like what's 86 dog. I learned what 86 meant from our friend Don and our friend, Greg. And so anyway, Greg was another character, Greg. Oh. And by the way, food was a big deal for Don too. Like we w he would gather up all of our friends and on Saturday mornings, like really early, we would go to Chinatown and he knew the best places for Dim Sum, and we would go and he would order everything.  He was the leader and he just knew, and he knew everyone who worked at all the, all these restaurants. It was so great.  And  I remember one day he's like, come on Fawn, we're going to see [00:18:00] the Russian Orthodox priests.</p>
<p>I'm like, where here? He's like, yeah, here. And so we went and he didn't have a car. So , I drove and I don't even remember where it was like, somewhere in LA. I've never been. And we went and listened to them sing, and it was like, we could have been in Siberia for all I know it was outrageous. I'm like, I cannot believe we're in LA.</p>
<p>Like he knew that was, that was Don. That was Don or that is Don, but that was my life with Don. And so anyway, another person is Greg who designed the cover of my photography book and he was also into literature. Oh, by the way. So was Don he managed  that bookstore I was telling you about. And I brought Don up because KJ also has a lot of books.</p>
<p>I'm like, girl, what are we going to do with all our books? Because I'm seriously now running out of space. And she's like, yeah, you know, we have them on the floor now, [00:19:00] like stacks everywhere. And I said, oh my God, that reminds me of Don, like Don also same thing, books everywhere. Great lover of reading literature, everything.</p>
<p>Right. And his headboard was a stack of books. And he would just pick out  grab a book and start reading and bed. Like he didn't have to, you know, like it was all there, but like his headboard was his finest most treasured books was his headboard of his bed.  There's so much I can say about these people.</p>
<p>So Greg, he took one of his favorite books and he got several copies of them and he took all the pages out and  glued them on the wall that was in front of his bed. So as he woke up every morning, opened his eyes, there was a wall he would look at directly in front of him, every page of this book, the way he had it designed, every page of the book was on the wall, front and back.</p>
<p>There was a guy, another guy. [00:20:00] Who was Greg's nemesis  in the neighborhood, a guy that carried around a Raven on his shoulder everywhere he went. And I never talked to him. Most of us never talked to him, but Greg's fiance ended up sleeping with this guy. So we did not like the guy with the Raven.</p>
<p>Gotcha.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:20:18] Yeah, no, no, no. That's that's pretty much, yeah, that's going to happen.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:21] So there was that there was like, there were all these characters, right. Even if we were not best friends, they were our buddies in a way. Do you remember jingles? Did you ever, never met jingles, talked about them any number of times?</p>
<p>So jingles was another character from the neighborhood. Jingles was very tall, probably close to seven feet. He was very tall and very thin and Jingles would always wear  army fatigue, but probably from Cuba, like it looked like a Cuban military outfit and he was covered with what's that [00:21:00] what's the term from the office that they had at that restaurant that they had to wear.</p>
<p>He had flare on him, but the flare was everything vegan. Jingles was the vegan guy and he was always in the neighborhood and he was always downstairs at the OneLife grocery store, where in the back,  there was a juice bar and so most of us in the neighborhood would have shots of wheat grass every day.</p>
<p>And jingles was there everyday and leaning on the counter with his tiny little shot of wheat grass, but he would gargle with it. He would  hold it in his mouth and had this green, drip on the corner, the corner of his mouth</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:42] drink, your wheat grass juice quickly, right after it's been made, was it loses</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:47] something or something he still was.</p>
<p>But like, like even when you read the medical medium, he says, when you're drinking celery juice, it's kind of like oil pulling  you hold the oil in your [00:22:00] mouth for 20 minutes and then you spit it out. It, it extracts the bad stuff out of you and maybe that's what he was doing was maybe it does that because I know celery juice, the medical medium says, yeah, if you're having like issues with a mouth, you know, just hold it in your mouth for a while.</p>
<p>So maybe it was that kind of a thing. But jingles had all these buttons on him that were so Anti meat like meat is murder. And like, there was a Smith, there was a famous, there is a famous fast food restaurant that has a letter on it that we all know of. And he had that, that, like, he had many buttons about that chain of restaurant,</p>
<p>and there was an anti symbol on it. And instead of , you know, make whatever it was, Mick shrimp, let's just say Shataki. The four, the four letter word Shataki is too close to it.  He was fiercely vegan. [00:23:00] He was militant vegan. He wasn't angry, but he was a militant vegan. That was his thing all day, every day.</p>
<p> That was his deal. And he always, and everything environmentally friendly, of course. So he had a bike and everything on the bike, and I don't even know what he did for a living, but we all knew jingles in the neighborhood.   Just, you know, so many characters, there were so many great guys and</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:28] gals, the guy who would do the, um, scanning for the Vatican.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:35] What was, how was he? Oh my God. Why am I blanking on people's names right now? It was Greg for some reason. Oh, that's not Greg, but yeah, you're right. He also worked with me on some projects and he was also another creative   he did the scanning for the Vatican's scan documents. Yeah. He's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:51] oh my</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:52] goodness.</p>
<p>Remember? Yeah, he was, he had an in with the Vatican. He was doing all their art, like scanning their art, all this stuff that was [00:24:00] put away for centuries. He got to hold and experience.  We had so many characters.  I forgot. I'm like, oh my God, am I done with nuggets of wisdom?</p>
<p>And then yesterday, and this morning, I'm like, oh, I forgot. No, there are all these people. It is non-stop. The amount of influence the amount of human interaction of inspiration out there. I'm just that I'm not getting here. And I did not get in Northern California that I did not get on Bainbridge island.</p>
<p>And I'm like, well, was it to Santa Monica? We're like, no. So this morning we were talking about Port Townsend in the oddities and Port Townsend, and that were so lovable. Like, remember Joe,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:24:47] Mr. Uptown</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:48] espresso. Oh my God, Joe, like jingles was his thing was veganism and vegan, vegan militant. Joe was that way with coffee,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:24:58] which meant he [00:25:00] had just a brilliant name.</p>
<p>That's why, you know, it's forever chewy because his name was Joe. Yeah. Like in the morning, Joe.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:08] Yeah. He was all about traveling the world and becoming the best barista. And he went to</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:12] contests and, oh my God. And he was like, flipped out about the subject. Now I enjoy a cup of coffee, but my Lord, this</p>
<p>man.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:22] Everyone  had so much flavor. It was unbelievable. I'm like, is this for real, , remember Sheniqua, her name was Sheniqua.</p>
<p>She invited us to pick apples in our yard</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:33] and she, yeah. Not relevant to the show, but I remember she bought plans for a house off the interweb. She</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:40] did. Yeah. So you had conversations with</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:43] people we're in the process of either splitting their land or buying land. And she bought plans for a house on the internet and you're like, excuse me, just strange.</p>
<p>And she was going to have an architect, build it for her, which is just like, huh. It was very weird, but that's just, it, [00:26:00] people just went for it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:01] Right. And she was a clerk at the grocery store. I'm like, how can you afford to do that? Like, wow. Right,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:06] right. And I remember I ran into a guy who was wanting me to design a software program for him that would simulate.</p>
<p>Uh, and I probably shouldn't even say, but I think it's actually been done, but he was a board. No, no, no, not the Buddha board. This was, we had a long conversation. He had done his homework, his research. He had figured out how much games cost and the whole bit, but he wanted a game that would actually simulate the entire life cycle of a Wolf.</p>
<p>Wow. And, you know, he just, he fascinated with wolves and I think he'd studied them and yeah, just, wow. And, and let's not forget, uh, Mr. Rock Ray. So I don't know how you met him. I know he was looking at tons of noise and you went in to say hi to him one day. I think, yeah. I met him first. No,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:54] you brought him up.</p>
<p>I wasn't going to say anything, but you're like, what's going on over there. We were in the shipyards [00:27:00] and there was this alley and there was light coming out of it. Like everything was kind of gray that day. The sun was about to set, but then there was this orange, pink, like gold light that was coming out of this dark hole in the wall.</p>
<p>And you're like, what's going on there? Right. And we just walk in and we're like, hello? And we became friends with Ray. He</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:22] was, he was, uh, he was a welder, and I don't know where he was. It was somewhere along the U S Canadian border. And I don't know if it was Montana. I don't know if it was Idaho found a rock and this rock was not small.</p>
<p>It wasn't humongous.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:38] He fell in love with a rock.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:40] He put it in the bed of his truck, so it fit in his truck. But I think it was, you couldn't have fit three of these rocks in this truck, you know, in a normal pick them up and brought it home.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:54] Like he fell in love with a rock and said, you're coming home with me, babe.</p>
<p>And it's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:58] like, I think about like [00:28:00] geologists and a thousand years, it wasn't even a geology. Everything is rebel and they find this rock in port Townsend and they, they try it. They try and theorize how it got there. I don't think they're going to come up with some random dude</p>
<p>and his pickup.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:13] Oh my God. And remember Ray introduced us to his friend from Germany</p>
<p>so we went to her house one day and she was obsessed with chocolate. And she was German and she, she would have the most beautiful boxes of chocolate that she would offer us every time there was a new box. Every is, she had chocolate every, every day. She also had weapons under her staircase that Ray had, um, put there, like she built like a secret, but like people were absurdly crazy in Port Townsend</p>
<p>and like everybody had their quirks, but they were lovable in a fun, like extraordinary way. Yes. Remember,  the interior designer and her husband across the [00:29:00] street.  What was the store called that we lived on Aldridge's . First of all, there was a store in port Townsend called Aldridge's market Aldridge's market, and it burned down and people were so distraught that they brought in psychotherapists from other places to console people.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:18] Like a  KJ</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:19] like a KJ. So people needed to be consoled because the grocery store burned down. No one was hurt. The grocery store burned down and people were devastated, not financially, but because that's how much they cared for one another and their businesses, it wasn't about business. It was about community and Aldridge's was like the center of the community.</p>
<p>So they were traumatized. And so what they did was they rebuilt it down to that. Remember they were so proud that when they rebuild Aldridge's they made sure that the stairs creaked exactly the same Creek as the old.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:59] Yes. But it [00:30:00] wasn't the same place because I don't think the old one had condos on top.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:03] Yeah. They built condos on top, which we ended up renting. One of them. That's where we big story, not today. And we made, we made so many friends there, but anyway, so interior designer, husband, or across the street and everyone, first of all, would invite us to dinner and the most fun times and conversations, it was like a Santa Monica.</p>
<p> , it was so much fun. We would go to costume parties for no reason.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:32] Wait a second. There was a reason that</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:34] was the new year's Eve. That was a ball for, but they celebrated everything. Do you remember there was a parade at the drop of a dime? Yes. Like all of a sudden the whole town would stop. The police would come with their police, yellow tape do not cross here.</p>
<p>And I remember when we first saw it, we're like what happened? Cause we're from LA we're like, oh God, um, [00:31:00] everything's stopped. All the businesses stopped for 10 minutes because the whole town brought all their tricycles out to have the toddlers, have a tricycle race through the main street and it was over and they wrapped up the tape and resumed the day.</p>
<p>Like we liked it and we're still standing there with our jaws, like right. Hanging, like,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:22] right. But it's like, we like to say, you know, if you throw parties all the time, you know how to make these things happen. Right. Exactly. You know, they had a rubber duck, Derby, they had bed, race, they had pet parade, they had and on and on and on and on very strong sense of community.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:38] They had a parade for everything and they loved art and they loved movies. Remember movie nights, they would block the streets and film Fest. The film festival. I have a film</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:49] festival for God's sake. What the</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:51] heck you guys, port Townsend is a, is a tiny, tiny place. Shout out to you. Port Townsend, you know, they warned us too all of [00:32:00] our people in Port Townsend.</p>
<p>And when, when we had to leave all of a sudden, because, , the place we were renting ,the landlord wanted it back for her mother. So we were out like in three weeks we had to be out. It was, it was quite jarring. So we ended up just going to Banbridge. And they were like, why did you do that? Don't do that.</p>
<p>We're like, it's too late. We already, we already did it. Like we had to find a place real quick. I think that was one of the worst mistakes we did maybe.  We can go on about the characters we met. Even the acupuncturist was like a trip to me. I won't</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:37] say well, just meeting like Sweet Laurette's daughter.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:41] Oh my God. Sweet Laurette on talking about her, Laura. Okay. So across the street, what was this restaurant called? Sweet laureates. And Cindy's yeah. Matt will not forget the Cindy's ever sweet. Laura Sweet Laurette's was this French restaurant owned by this amazing friend of ours, Laurette, [00:33:00] who is probably a lawyer now, like last I heard she sold it.</p>
<p>She  started dating our other favorite business in town, which was that bookstore, that secondhand bookstore, um, but like the best food. And she was this amazing chef who studied in France.  And it was just being there was magical. And we were inspired by her because she had two young daughters who ran the business with her.</p>
<p>It</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:28] was amazing. Stop by in the morning, get some coffee. And it was just like, I mean, this, the, the younger girl would take care of us and she was maybe 10 or 11,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:39] and then she was nine or</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:39] something and totally gracious and lovely. And God, the size of those cups of coffee, they were like, Awesome. They were</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:49] proper.</p>
<p>They're exactly what you would get in Paris. When you get like a hot chocolate or a coffee, it's a bowl. It's like a cereal bowl, coffee or hot chocolate. [00:34:00] It was proper, but like, well, I can, I can go on and on with amazing personalities and amazing connections of each community. Why can't I do that in Colorado?</p>
<p>And why couldn't I do that in the Sausalito area? Marin all these other places. So I'll ask the question again that I asked before we started the friendship movement. It actually started on Bainbridge island. Is it us? It must be us. And then that's when we started to do some serious research and that's when our research it's really started.</p>
<p>Forming was in 2006, 2007. Was when we realized there's an, a loneliness epidemic happening. It's not just us. Society is rapidly shifting and becoming de fragmented that we don't even hang out with each other anymore. I would say more</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:51] fragmented, not de fragmented, but</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:53] they deep fragment. I'm sorry, fragmented.</p>
<p>But is it just me? I mean, I know Angela is listening out there. I know [00:35:00] Kelly's listening out there. I know Wendy's listening out there. These are our  friends in Colorado. Please. Don't take this personally. I'm not talking about you guys, but do you understand what I'm saying? How many people can you name that are so outrageous?</p>
<p>Like the ones we just quickly really seriously at the top of our heads just threw out there and described, how can we say that about anyone in Colorado?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:25] That's a good question.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:27] Maybe it's just me maybe because I'm so dissatisfied. And emotionally exhausted. I don't know what it is guys. And I don't want to feel this way.</p>
<p>I feel like such a hypocrite. And I also feel angry. I'm angry at these people that I'm just, I just, I w I want to move. This is not my place. Maybe that's just, it. Maybe it's just me, but you're in it to cause it, because you're married to me and I'm influencing you, like you can't name anyone out here,  like a jingles or a Joe [00:36:00] or Greg or the Raven guy.</p>
<p>We weren't friends with the Raven guy, but he was still a lovable character, even though he did sleep with Greg's fiance.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:09] Well, I've been certainly this past year. We've been very isolated, but I was pretty heads down even before then.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:15] Yeah. But we weren't, we weren't in Santa Monica and we weren't in Port Townsend.</p>
<p>. I don't know how, I don't know where to go with this episode, but I just wanted to ask you guys for help, that are listening. I mean, we're here for you every week. I think I need you here for me this week. Can you please write to me</p>
<p>and help me get out of this funk. I don't want to feel this way about our fellow human beings,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:42] right? Yeah, no. And I totally get it as I was about to say. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, absolutely. Cause that's, I guess my catchphrase now, even though I don't know I'm doing it, but um, well I have to say,  Ned had potential until of course I ruined it and,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:58] but even led had no [00:37:00] potential.</p>
<p>I wouldn't say what characters do we think of when we think of.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:06] I think we were close to maybe finding some, I'll be honest.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:10] The thing, when you find them, you see them from a mile away and I wouldn't say you're wrong. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:15] And that's fine. I mean, everybody is so heads down working heads down, grinding heads down, raising children, heads down, heads down heads down.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:24] So wrapped up in their own belief systems or their way of life. Right. But</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:30] like, it feels like we wake up in the morning and we're already behind.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:35] Yeah absolutely. And me, I won't even go to sleep cause I'm like, I gotta catch up on work. So I'm up until 3 30, 4, sometimes five in the morning.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:44] Um, and then I wake up sometimes at two or three and I think about all the things I have to do and I can't sleep.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:54] And we didn't feel this way before. But, you know, that's just us though. [00:38:00] I'm talking about people. No, I'm saying that's just us in the way where we're looking at life by, like, where are the people? Where are people, where are our people?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:13] Or you certainly found a few of online.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:16] Yes, I did online. I'm talking about right here, looking out my window, our window, you know, Martine like just go outside.</p>
<p>I'm like, I don't want to Martine. I don't want to. And she's like, well, you guys, you guys should have moved to Miami. And I'm like, well, Shataki you're right. But we didn't. So here I am. What am I supposed to do?</p>
<p>I don't know, man. Where do we go from here?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:47] That is a great question. You know, I think people in Colorado are sweet. I think people in Colorado are smart. I think people in Colorado are [00:39:00] certainly focused on their longterm goals. And yeah, I have to say there's not a lot of</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:07] boring</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:10] letting their freak flag fly.</p>
<p>There's not a lot of real experimentation. I think the world has gotten scared of like experimentation. You know, I don't want, when I was young, it was okay for me to be bad</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:21] at it. But here's the thing. Most of the people that we're talking about in port Townsend were in their seventies and eighties.</p>
<p>Those were our friends. And guess what? Like, remember I was talking about one of our friends, our neighbors, she was 70, 70 something. She got a motorcycle one day. She's like, I'm going to learn how to ride a motorcycle. And I'm not talking like a Vespa she got a big motorcycle and I'm not talking about a Harley either.</p>
<p>Cause those seem like a cush ride. This was a motorcycle, like, like, you know, like a standard motorcycle from the 1970s kind [00:40:00] of manly motorcycle. It was not like a cushy motorcycle with all the, the boxes on it and stuff. Do you know what I mean? Like you had to use balance too. It was a bicycle that was a motorized, but it was big.</p>
<p>And one day she showed up with a leather jacket and a helmet. She's like, I'm riding a bike now. And she was the one where she was like, you guys are young, you can do anything you want in your life. I'm like, we're young, really? Like, thank you. Do you know what I mean? She had obviously some years on us, but come on.</p>
<p>It's not a, it's not about age.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:39] I always talk about the best time to start doing something was probably a year ago. The second best time is right now. And that's always been the case</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:48] that stresses me out when you say that. Cause you know, we'll talk about feeling behind all the time. So if you start with saying the best time to start, something was a year ago, it's like, wow.</p>
<p>Geez, thanks honey. It's too late. Now</p>
<p>[00:41:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:00] it just means seize it, go for it. You know, I think we focused way too much on the momentum Maury part of the saying, because everybody knows the saying Carpe diem, and that sounds so pithy and so sweet. But at the time there was the counter-argument, which was momentum Mori, which is remember you must die.</p>
<p>And I think we focused, we as a, as a family focused more on that side of things, even on a subconscious level,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:27] I'm just still remembering some of our friends, like now they're like really popping up. Do you remember Kimba? Did you ever meet Kimba? My friend Kimba. Worked in the advertising field. I was about to say, didn't we go to her</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:39] office.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:40] We did.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:41] Yeah. Thank you. Took me to her</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:42] office. And I met her there. Yeah. So Kimba was known for her laughter, but the sound of her laughter and she was such a wonderful giving person. She was like a mother, even though she was young, she was a nurturer, but she also knew all [00:42:00] the gangsters around from all different sects of gangs.</p>
<p>All she had to do was barely make a phone call and things would happen. It was amazing. And her laugh was so wildly. I want to say peculiar different. That is she. That I'll tell you what, she didn't just a second, but she was also like, she had so many aspects to her life and so many connections to all these other lives.</p>
<p>Like one of the, was she because of her laughter she would get invited to, I don't know if it's called this, but like an SM S and M club. So people that wanted to have like a sexual experience of like, I guess like with, you know, with the leather and the whips and stuff, but their fetish would be while they were having sex being ridiculed.</p>
<p>So, no, that [00:43:00] was just their thing. But like, so she would be, they would pay her to be in her room. Like not in the same room, but in another room and there would be a window and she would just laugh her laugh while they were going for it. Like she had the oddest stories. Like here</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:17] it is peculiar.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:19] I mean, how interesting do you know what I mean?</p>
<p>I miss that, honey. I miss that, that kind of like looking and talking to your friend who obviously has a wildly different perspective and different experience and we're friends and we're friends. Do you know what I mean? And it's, there's no judgment and it's just funny. It's inspiring. Her laughter was not only inspired by this group over here, but by everyone who met her much, like my friend Martine</p>
<p>she laughs at the face of [00:44:00] danger, she laughs at the face of fear. Mm.</p>
<p>I feel alone. I have to say, I feel so alone. Okay. And I know I'm here to be for you guys, but I really need you.</p>
<p>That's it, babe. You want to put a bow on it or say something because I'm just going to leave it at that. I need help. And I'm not talking about psychotherapy help. I'm talking about, I need help. I need you guys to reach out to me and share some cool stories. If some, if you have a laugh or if you know of a Raven guy or you are the Raven guy or I miss you,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:46] I think it's one of the aspects of our society is.</p>
<p>You know, people feel so exposed when they reveal details about themselves. I mean, for me personally, it's like, and I've, I think I've talked about this before on the [00:45:00] show, but it's like, I'm vegan. Right? Okay. Fine. Whatever. Um, you know, I don't make it a point to bring that up. I don't make it a point to stand on a soap box.</p>
<p>I don't make it a point to do any of that stuff. And so it's always quirky to me when I'm working at a job, especially now, cause everybody's remote. So nobody actually sees what I eat on a daily basis and nobody's asked me out to lunch. And so we haven't had to have these conversations, which just sucked by the way, day one at a job.</p>
<p>They want to take you to lunch. It's just kind of a tech thing. Uh, or, and it's probably just a thing, period. They'll take out to lunch first day, which is nice. Super nice. But on day one, you have to reveal to the world you're a vegan because God help you. If they take you to a steak place or something that has absolutely nothing vegan, or you need to ask the waitress, what here is vegan.</p>
<p>It's like we hide, we hide these aspects of who we are to quote unquote blend in. But in the process we turn into just this vanilla soup and it's not, [00:46:00] um, it's not unappetizing, but it, it, it limits us it, you know, we don't, we don't, we don't draw power from our uniqueness.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:09] You know, I don't know. Is that the, do you think that's the core of the problem is that I remember I had a job that I hated.</p>
<p>It was at a photo lab in Santa Monica and the pay sucked and the corporate heads were like coming down on the manager to like, be extra hard on us and. So this guy, the manager of this lab had his own office up the stairs. And there was a, there was a door he would close the door and go up the stairs to his own sanctuary.</p>
<p>And we were downstairs. And part of my job was, um, I had to load film, but those back in the day, when we used film and I had to go and load the film and negative darkness. And so we had all these stickers around and each sticker had a [00:47:00] different saying on it, you know, because you're using different chemistry, there's different kinds of film.</p>
<p>And, um, but a lot of them have said, you know, do not open, open, do not open a light. You know, like all these stickers, we had so many different messages. They were stickers that you would stick on the film canisters before you go into the negative darkness room to put things in the bath. Right. And so one day I got so mad at our boss.</p>
<p>He went, he closed the door and he went up into his office and I took all these stickers and I just put them on the door and the, in the doorway. So like if he opened the door yeah. But not stuck with it, we would be stuck behind the door. Like, obviously it's just a thin little sticker that doesn't hold you anywhere.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean? But I, I, that was my freak flag that day. And you know what? I [00:48:00] didn't get fired because that was my way to communicate to him. Dude, I feel dissatisfied. And you know what? We all had a laugh about it. Cause he came on. He was what is w what, what? And then he looked at the door behind him when he came out.</p>
<p>He's like, what? In the world? Cause I went for it. Every sticker, you can just put it on there. Do you know what I mean? Or like, even in the same lab, I had a friend who. It had a dartboard and every time he felt frustrated and he needed a win, he would go throw the dart from far away and he would hit bulls eyes every time.</p>
<p>And he would scream bully bulls-eye and we would laugh hysterically and we felt so much better. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. There are tiny little things, but that was our freak flag flying. Right. And there was no getting fired from it. There was like, it was communication.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:58] It's important [00:49:00] to let your freak flag fly.</p>
<p>It's important for you to release your stress it's, you know, in order to avoid burnout, it's, it's important to play. I mean, I do. I do ridiculous, stupid things. I'm fair. I'm still my little eight year old self who just likes having a giggle basically. But I have multiple orange t-shirts and why anybody would have more than one is astonishing, but I have multiple, whatever</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:30] you play funny jokes that no one gets that no one gets like, you'll like, you'll be like, okay, everybody, like you'll tell us, like, tell why are you going to tell them, hurry up and get to</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:40] the point.</p>
<p>I wore an orange shirt to every, uh, for a week, every day to see if anybody would notice no one says anything. No one noticed God. It was even worse. Oh my God. So Fridays, I like to play and I play play. And it's it's [00:50:00] about opening the door and seeing who will come through. And I have God, it's stupid. I know it's ridiculous.</p>
<p>I know I have many zoom backgrounds. If you go looking for zoom backgrounds, there's a shot. Look for Shutterstock. They gave out like a freebie and it's like 50 gorgeous zoom backgrounds, just places, different colors, different feelings. And so I always flip up and I have others besides those, but I always change them around.</p>
<p>And then, um, somebody mentioned how great it would be if there was a zoom that monitored your mood. And I was just, I was in a weird mood and I was like, yeah, but if it shows something depressing, then people would, you know, want to ask what's wrong and there's nothing wrong with that. But sometimes you don't want to, sometimes you want to hide.</p>
<p>And I was like, maybe it would be better if you know, it would show something mega happy when you were feeling blue. And so just before it's my turn to talk. It was a standup. Everybody talks. I flipped my zoom [00:51:00] background to a smiley face. Just to see who would, who would go along for the ride. And one of the guys did cause he immediately said, yeah, ma what's wrong.</p>
<p>Oh, it was very cute. And Marshall's are very good sweet guy actually. Um, although he hides it rather well, um, but he was willing to open go through that door and you know, that, you know, because I am down to clown at least on Fridays, um, you know, it opens these doors, but I think so many people are so afraid to, because I don't know what they're afraid of.</p>
<p>I think maybe the workplace feel, people feel like it's turned into high school instead of being college, because college was an experimental, crazy time where it's like, you're allowed to be really, really, in some cases it's really stupid. Um, you know, it was the UN um, unsaid policy of my school to, uh, if you I'm saying, oh way too much, somebody getting mad at me.</p>
<p>Okay. Um, and I did it again. I can't, people can't help [00:52:00] it. I have to think anyways, if you, if you got, there were RAs resident assistants and, and there were, you know, adults, quote-unquote adults. Cause we were all just, you know, uh, teenagers basically in college. But if you were like fried off your butt, like on, you know, intoxicating subjects, um, substances, they would take you and put you in psychiatric lockdown for like 24 hours.</p>
<p>That sounds horrible. And no record would ever appear anywhere. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:34] So they would take care of you. So</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:36] they would take care care of you because college is meant to be a time for experimenters, figuring out who you are as opposed to high school being this time for you to kind of go with the herd was, was a lot of what high school was.</p>
<p>I think for me, Even though I led my herd. It's still, you had to be the herd, had a certain look, a certain feel, a certain vernacular, a certain everything. [00:53:00] And I think what we're looking at is the work, the workplace, and even society has turned much more high school in college.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:07] I think it's depression. I think when people are depressed, they don't notice things.</p>
<p>They don't want to, they don't care. They don't care that you're wearing the same shirt. They probably think they probably don't even see it. And if they see it, they probably, I don't know what they think, but it's depression. And I want to say, and I'm not talking about clinical depression, but it's like, remember the three things that I started to say is a burnout.</p>
<p>It's emotional exhaustion. The fatigue that comes from caring too much for too long. I think what it is is depersonalization the depletion of empathy, caring and compassion. I think. I think that's, what's really going on. And the other one was decreased sense of accomplishment, you know, an unconquerable sense of futility feeling [00:54:00] that nothing you do makes any difference.</p>
<p>And you know what? I even in Sausalito when there were so many racist people living around us and we had no friends there, I was like, I still, the kids were really little and I was still like, you know, F it, I'm going to go out and do something that makes me laugh. That would have happened in Santa Monica.</p>
<p>Like something that would have been done by a bunch of us in Santa Monica. And so I remember one day when it was raining and I'm like, okay, girls, let's go for a walk in the rain and splashing some puddles and instate. Instead of taking an umbrella, I took a beach umbrella and walked with it, like as if it was a normal umbrella.</p>
<p>On the sidewalk and no one talked to us, nothing, no comments, nothing but inside best believe I was giggling [00:55:00] so hard to myself. Like I'm carrying around a beach umbrella. Like it's a little umbrella. I took out of my purse as we're walking and it starts sprinkling a beach umbrella folks. It's like six feet wide minimum and multicolor six and a half feet.</p>
<p>Yeah. With the, you know, the beach umbrella, like a stereotypical beach umbrella with all the different triangles of light on it. And the flaps, you know, I mean, nobody said anything, nobody even smiled, but oh, well I got to do it for myself, but here's the thing. I haven't even had the energy to do anything like that.</p>
<p>Right. Like I've lost the will in a way, like. I don't. I don't have that any right now.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:46] Well, the key to me is that I wore an orange t-shirt every day to see if anyone would notice nobody noticed, but that wasn't the point. I was expecting that response. And that's what I got it's it's [00:56:00] about me doing it for me.</p>
<p>It's not about me doing it for recognition or for response. It's just about</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:06] me doing it, but that who cares, this is contagious because now I have it. It's like, oh, who cares? Like when you say I'm going to do this this whole week, I'm like deep down. I got to say, I'm standing there going, who cares, man? Ah, I care.</p>
<p>Yes it is. I agree with you. But I'm saying that that disease has come inside of me. I don't care, but I care enough to obviously have a conversation about it right now and say, I don't want to be that way. I want to live. See for</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:36] me, that's what I want to live. Because because you're right. I think I fall prey to number three, because it seems like we're doing, I'm doing so much more and, and things that I would agonize over for, you know, days or a week, I do three of those a day.</p>
<p>It feels like sometimes. And I just do it because I need to get it done because I need to move on [00:57:00] to the next.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:01] Okay. I want to wrap this up because I'm also burnt out in having to edit all these episodes that are so long, but let's just wrap it up with this bow. So burnout is when you're in a constant state of stress, it doesn't end because the cycle doesn't end.</p>
<p>We don't get to a place where we're like, phew, that's over. We don't get that. It's always going to the next thing. And the next thing, right? So from this book, I will share with you the things that they share that will get you out of that cycle. Like it will stop the cycle of stress. One of them is breathing exercises.</p>
<p>So you breathe. The other one is, um, to have some sort of positive social interaction, which is what we're about. If you can't do that, find a way to laugh. And folks I'm gonna say even last week, none of these really helped, except for I realized the social interaction because [00:58:00] I talked to a few buddies and just balled on the phone.</p>
<p>So positive social attraction. Laughter will get you out of it. Like put on something that just makes you laugh Affection. So like we've instituted this six second kiss. You can't kiss and just do a Peck of a kiss. We kiss for six seconds straight or hug on even ground holding each other until you sense, like some change in direction.</p>
<p>So holding each other and a big, old cry is the other one to get you out of the stress cycle, just a big cry. It reminds me of when there's finally a rainstorm and it's heavy and it just washes everything away. And when it's over, the birds are chirping, the sky is blue and all the trees are glowing and sparkling.</p>
<p>And the last one is [00:59:00] creative expression, whatever that</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:59:03] is like running an orange t-shirt five days in a row,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:07] engaging in creative activities. You know, it could be, it could be sports, it could be art, it could be painting sculpture, theater, storytelling, whatever is a creative thing, but that's what well that's.</p>
<p>Those are some tools to get you out of that burnout,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:59:26] have some fun, let your</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:27] freak flag fly. I don't have fun anymore. That's another show I want to do. I want to do a show on fun and a show on funny, because nothing seems like fun to me. And nothing seems funny to me anymore right now. Anyway, please. I'm begging you.</p>
<p>Can you email me? You could either go to the, our friendly word podcast.com. You could go to our friendly world.com and there's an email option, please. Can you use it to help me out this time? [01:00:00] Anyway, how do you want to close the show? Sounds like you did really. Can you put a pretty little bow on it</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:09] I said, let your freak flag fly</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:12] and don't be afraid. Well, maybe repeat it and bring it</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:14] back. Be afraid. Just be you. What if</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:17] you have no energy, it's not that you're afraid. You're like, why bother</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:22] it's enough to wear a scarf or a headband or just something that makes you chuckle F fish, the world fish and chip?</p>
<p>No, just fish the world because the sea where it is not one I like to use. No,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:38] I don't like to use the word either, but Bish the word polling fabs</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:42] have some be down to clown. Have some fun, even if it's just for you, especially if it's just for you, because that sounds an awful lot. Like self</p>
<p>care.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:52] I don't wanna, I just wanna move.</p>
<p>I don't see this happening in Colorado. Honestly. People come on. [01:01:00] All right. Well,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:04] I still love you. Colorado</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:06] love is winning. I'm not smiling. All right, guys, we'll talk to you soon in a few days. Tune in. Be well, bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[A rant on dissatisfaction and the desire to really live life!
Fawn needs your support on this one.
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] We weren't supposed to record today. We weren't. No, because,  not because of the show, but I've been experiencing burnout, major burnout, not because of the show. This show gives me life, but check it out. So the book I'm reading burnout. Um,
Matt: [00:00:19] hi, this is a hi this is Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt
Fawn: [00:00:24] welcome to our friendly world.
It doesn't feel so friendly for me right now. I woke up dissatisfied,
Matt: [00:00:30] but the world is opening back up.
Fawn: [00:00:31] It is, I went to bed mad at you. I woke up even more mad at you. And then we got into a little fight. And during our fight, I said, you know what? Let's record our fight. Let's just record what we're talking about.
Cause it's not a fight the way you think of a fight. The way we fight is we fight the way we do. Just our, whatever, here, here it goes, guys. So emotional exhaustion as defined by, these two ladies who wrote the book "Burnout, The [00:01:00] secret of Unlocking the Stress C ycle, Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski DMA.
What, what do you want to see? The clever they're twins. Okay. Let's rock. All right. So there are three components of emotional exhaustion, which is what burnout is. Okay. Okay. So number one, emotional exhaustion, the fatigue that comes from caring too much for too long. So when you're worried about someone you love it, doesn't go away.
You're a parent. You're worried. You're frickin worried all the time, never ending.  Personalization is number two, the depletion of empathy, caring and compassion. Number three is decreased sense of accomplishment and unconquerable sense of futility, feeling that nothing you do makes any difference.
I feel number one and number [00:02:00] three, I don't feel number two because empathy is totally there. Compassion is totally there. I feel a decreased sense of accomplishment and I want to cry just saying that, and I feel emotionally exhausted and the way we start our morning together, cause you wake up so much earlier than I do, but then I go to bed at 3 30, 4 o'clock, five o'clock in the morning sometimes.
 And then I wake up early. So I just woke up just upset. And I, the, the way we started our day together was you came in and we started talking and I said, Matt, I am done. I'm done waiting. I want to live my life. We've been waiting for 16 years. Sure, we've done things. We've had different moves. We've had children, you know, we've made things happen, but it feels like we are waiting.
You're waiting on [00:03:00] the perfect job opportunity. I'm waiting for things to take off with my career. I am waiting for this. I'm waiting for that. You're waiting for it your way. All we do is wait and I feel so dissatisfied. And so what's the third one decreased sense of accomplishment.
And one of the things we were talking about today this morning was, I don't. I never wanted to live in Colorado. I don't understand this place. And even though I grew up in California and part of my college education was in Northern California. And then we ended up there for a couple minutes, which was what, two years?
Right around the Sausalito area. It was not okay for me.  Sorry, California. Sorry, Colorado. But honestly, even though Santa Monica is in California, I know guys, but when I... help me figure this out. So this episode today, I want your [00:04:00] help, friends listening  out there,  can you please email me and talk to me because I seriously can't figure this out.
And I don't know if you can,...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:02:26</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED Roundtable #9 PHYLOTIMO, Love, Friendship, Honor, and Giving to Each Other]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Jul 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/connected-roundtable-9-phylotimo-love-friendship-honor-and-giving-to-each-other</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-roundtable-9-phylotimo-love-friendship-honor-and-giving-to-each-other</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This is an episode dedicated to our favorite word: PHYLOTIMO. Philotimo is an all encompassing concept that gives meaning to life that stretches well beyond ourselves, as that deep seated awareness in the heart that motivates the good that a person does. Philotimo  is a sense of duty to your fellow human being. It is about love and friendship. It's about giving and it's about honor. And when you break it down in Greek, Philo means friend timo means honor.</p>
<p>We talk about the geography of where Phylotimo was born in history and how that very same spot is paying it forward in modern times.</p>
<p>We ask individual questions from our expert friends at the table, like:</p>
<p>Of Matt we ask what tech or programs help us to be of service to our fellow human beings? We ask Paul to give us some meditation tools to provide us all with philotimo. We ask Katy how food can help us with phylotimo. Of Beth we ask for visualization tools to bring about this way of honor. I (Fawn) talks about communication and language in relation to phylotimo.  We tie the episode with KJ’s expertise and her wisdom of observation to teach us they ways in which we can encourage phylotimo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Here we go. Hello? Hello. Hello. I always forget to say you're here because obviously you're here with me. Hi Matt. Okay. So we are here with Matt cohart. We have Katy, Katy LoSasso. Hi Katy!. We have KJ KJ. Nasrul is here, everyone. And we have our beautiful Paul Martin Lotus. Hello everybody. So my favorite thing is filo dough.</p>
<p>Oh dear. I love it. It's it's probably one of the only things that I'll actually get, because I like to make everything from scratch and having dissected this word dissect. Having broken this word down that I'm about to say, I [00:01:00] was like, wow. It's I feel like Homer Simpson filo dough, because, okay. Okay. So the word today's subject is Philotimo and my beautiful Greek friends,</p>
<p>please, can you call me, I'm sure I'm mispronouncing it. philotimo philotimo Philo Timo phyllo, Timo. There is an island  it's the third largest island in Greece. It's called Lesvos.  I think it was around 1922 with all the strife that was happening; the Ottoman empire, everything was breaking down in that area.</p>
<p>You know, world war one was just, there was such devastation. So,  this group of people from they call it Asia minor,  went to this island Lesbos. And it's actually where Aristotle had been many, many, many, many, many years before. And the greatest inspiration  throughout history of all the [00:02:00] scholars and everything came from Aristotle.</p>
<p>And Aristotle's, apifany of this beautiful land, this beautiful island of Lesvos, everything originates from this place. So going back to the word, Philotimo  I'm telling you about this because these people sought refuge to this island and the island embraced them. And so the entire population pretty much that lives, there are direct descendants of the people that had to flee</p>
<p>asia minor. Yeah.  And they started their own culture, their own  beautiful life. And it's really interesting, pretty much, a hundred years later, they now are paying it forward because the people that live here and I think it's illegal, but they have been embracing the people that are fleeing Turkey that are running for their lives and their arms are open [00:03:00] much like the Island's arms were open to them a hundred years before. And they'll talk about this and they'll, they'll talk about filo Timo and what, what it is. Philotimo. Philotimo is an all encompassing concept that gives meaning to life that stretches well beyond ourselves, as that deep seated awareness in the heart that motivates the good that a person does.</p>
<p>A philotimos person is one who conceives and enacts eagerly those things good. That's the definition. Was that your own definition or did you find</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This is an episode dedicated to our favorite word: PHYLOTIMO. Philotimo is an all encompassing concept that gives meaning to life that stretches well beyond ourselves, as that deep seated awareness in the heart that motivates the good that a person does. Philotimo  is a sense of duty to your fellow human being. It is about love and friendship. It's about giving and it's about honor. And when you break it down in Greek, Philo means friend timo means honor.
We talk about the geography of where Phylotimo was born in history and how that very same spot is paying it forward in modern times.
We ask individual questions from our expert friends at the table, like:
Of Matt we ask what tech or programs help us to be of service to our fellow human beings? We ask Paul to give us some meditation tools to provide us all with philotimo. We ask Katy how food can help us with phylotimo. Of Beth we ask for visualization tools to bring about this way of honor. I (Fawn) talks about communication and language in relation to phylotimo.  We tie the episode with KJ’s expertise and her wisdom of observation to teach us they ways in which we can encourage phylotimo.
 
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Here we go. Hello? Hello. Hello. I always forget to say you're here because obviously you're here with me. Hi Matt. Okay. So we are here with Matt cohart. We have Katy, Katy LoSasso. Hi Katy!. We have KJ KJ. Nasrul is here, everyone. And we have our beautiful Paul Martin Lotus. Hello everybody. So my favorite thing is filo dough.
Oh dear. I love it. It's it's probably one of the only things that I'll actually get, because I like to make everything from scratch and having dissected this word dissect. Having broken this word down that I'm about to say, I [00:01:00] was like, wow. It's I feel like Homer Simpson filo dough, because, okay. Okay. So the word today's subject is Philotimo and my beautiful Greek friends,
please, can you call me, I'm sure I'm mispronouncing it. philotimo philotimo Philo Timo phyllo, Timo. There is an island  it's the third largest island in Greece. It's called Lesvos.  I think it was around 1922 with all the strife that was happening; the Ottoman empire, everything was breaking down in that area.
You know, world war one was just, there was such devastation. So,  this group of people from they call it Asia minor,  went to this island Lesbos. And it's actually where Aristotle had been many, many, many, many, many years before. And the greatest inspiration  throughout history of all the [00:02:00] scholars and everything came from Aristotle.
And Aristotle's, apifany of this beautiful land, this beautiful island of Lesvos, everything originates from this place. So going back to the word, Philotimo  I'm telling you about this because these people sought refuge to this island and the island embraced them. And so the entire population pretty much that lives, there are direct descendants of the people that had to flee
asia minor. Yeah.  And they started their own culture, their own  beautiful life. And it's really interesting, pretty much, a hundred years later, they now are paying it forward because the people that live here and I think it's illegal, but they have been embracing the people that are fleeing Turkey that are running for their lives and their arms are open [00:03:00] much like the Island's arms were open to them a hundred years before. And they'll talk about this and they'll, they'll talk about filo Timo and what, what it is. Philotimo. Philotimo is an all encompassing concept that gives meaning to life that stretches well beyond ourselves, as that deep seated awareness in the heart that motivates the good that a person does.
A philotimos person is one who conceives and enacts eagerly those things good. That's the definition. Was that your own definition or did you find
Matt: [...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED Roundtable #9 PHYLOTIMO, Love, Friendship, Honor, and Giving to Each Other]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This is an episode dedicated to our favorite word: PHYLOTIMO. Philotimo is an all encompassing concept that gives meaning to life that stretches well beyond ourselves, as that deep seated awareness in the heart that motivates the good that a person does. Philotimo  is a sense of duty to your fellow human being. It is about love and friendship. It's about giving and it's about honor. And when you break it down in Greek, Philo means friend timo means honor.</p>
<p>We talk about the geography of where Phylotimo was born in history and how that very same spot is paying it forward in modern times.</p>
<p>We ask individual questions from our expert friends at the table, like:</p>
<p>Of Matt we ask what tech or programs help us to be of service to our fellow human beings? We ask Paul to give us some meditation tools to provide us all with philotimo. We ask Katy how food can help us with phylotimo. Of Beth we ask for visualization tools to bring about this way of honor. I (Fawn) talks about communication and language in relation to phylotimo.  We tie the episode with KJ’s expertise and her wisdom of observation to teach us they ways in which we can encourage phylotimo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Here we go. Hello? Hello. Hello. I always forget to say you're here because obviously you're here with me. Hi Matt. Okay. So we are here with Matt cohart. We have Katy, Katy LoSasso. Hi Katy!. We have KJ KJ. Nasrul is here, everyone. And we have our beautiful Paul Martin Lotus. Hello everybody. So my favorite thing is filo dough.</p>
<p>Oh dear. I love it. It's it's probably one of the only things that I'll actually get, because I like to make everything from scratch and having dissected this word dissect. Having broken this word down that I'm about to say, I [00:01:00] was like, wow. It's I feel like Homer Simpson filo dough, because, okay. Okay. So the word today's subject is Philotimo and my beautiful Greek friends,</p>
<p>please, can you call me, I'm sure I'm mispronouncing it. philotimo philotimo Philo Timo phyllo, Timo. There is an island  it's the third largest island in Greece. It's called Lesvos.  I think it was around 1922 with all the strife that was happening; the Ottoman empire, everything was breaking down in that area.</p>
<p>You know, world war one was just, there was such devastation. So,  this group of people from they call it Asia minor,  went to this island Lesbos. And it's actually where Aristotle had been many, many, many, many, many years before. And the greatest inspiration  throughout history of all the [00:02:00] scholars and everything came from Aristotle.</p>
<p>And Aristotle's, apifany of this beautiful land, this beautiful island of Lesvos, everything originates from this place. So going back to the word, Philotimo  I'm telling you about this because these people sought refuge to this island and the island embraced them. And so the entire population pretty much that lives, there are direct descendants of the people that had to flee</p>
<p>asia minor. Yeah.  And they started their own culture, their own  beautiful life. And it's really interesting, pretty much, a hundred years later, they now are paying it forward because the people that live here and I think it's illegal, but they have been embracing the people that are fleeing Turkey that are running for their lives and their arms are open [00:03:00] much like the Island's arms were open to them a hundred years before. And they'll talk about this and they'll, they'll talk about filo Timo and what, what it is. Philotimo. Philotimo is an all encompassing concept that gives meaning to life that stretches well beyond ourselves, as that deep seated awareness in the heart that motivates the good that a person does.</p>
<p>A philotimos person is one who conceives and enacts eagerly those things good. That's the definition. Was that your own definition or did you find</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:41] that definitely on that definition? And of course, philotimo is to two words, kind of jammed</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:47] together. W I'm going to get there. So basically this is what it means.</p>
<p>Generosity of spirits, a sense of honor, sense of duty to your fellow [00:04:00] human being. I'm going to repeat that. Philotimo  is a sense of duty to your fellow human being. It is about love friendship. It's about giving and it's about honor. And when you break it down, Philo means friend timo means honor. Which brings me back to filo dough.</p>
<p>And I feel like Homer Simpson, friend, DOH friend. Me. Good.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:29] Yes. Yes. He did say that. And actually, no, it was cake friend. Me good. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:34] Donut. I don't know. I think it was whatever it is. Dough is a friend of mine. Filo dough is, do you think, is that why? I don't know. Anyway, the meanderings in my head as I'm shopping for food, this is where I go.</p>
<p>So this is today's show you guys and I have some questions for everyone, and I think that Beth hopefully will be joining us [00:05:00] later, if not, um, if not, we'll get by, but we miss her because we definitely want her input on this with her amazing, beautiful insights.</p>
<p>So I'm going to talk about how we can be of service and how we can have the sense of duty to each other around the world, regardless of what language we speak, regardless of what politics we may believe in, regardless of how much money we may have, or may not have, regardless of what neighborhood we live in, you get the picture, right?</p>
<p>You get the gist of it. And so I'm going to go around and ask   your take on it. Let's see, what else were we talking about Matt? Before when I said, I want to do a show on philotimo, which by the way, I've been wanting to do for months. And we started with blockchain. We were, we brought in Philo Timo with talking about technology [00:06:00] and blockchain and everything.</p>
<p>I think I'm going to do a few shows on it because there's much to discuss, right, babe. So you were saying in this world of gross consumerism, where enough is never enough, and from that sense of, "I need to get ahead." It seems like the best way to feel this way is to have a large group of very supportive people around you.</p>
<p>But how do you build our group from nothing, right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:29] Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:29] How do we, and that's been our greatest mission and that's why we started our friendly world. We had a, a dating site. This is long before Bumble. Thank you very much. It was long before all these billionaires now that pretty much did that. Um, so we started a matchmaking service where we matched you up with your future best friend within your own neighborhood, because our concept is [00:07:00] that when we're together, we're stronger, we're better. ,where you can get rid of the social economic and racial injustice, having a friend lock arms with you. I've definitely experienced that myself and I feel like our society has been crumbling , because we have lost that art of friendship, that sense of interconnectedness. And that's another reason we're doing this round table because we have friends from around the world and we all have different perspectives, but we're all interconnected.</p>
<p>And that's the main theme. And that's what I want to keep showing until it actually manifests, not just at our little table right here, but everywhere around the world and especially so in the United States. Um, so where should we start hunting? Where should I, should I, you want, do you want to go first?</p>
<p>Should I ask you the question?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:53] Ask me the question. I'm feeling plucky. All</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:55] right. So Matt, here is your question. [00:08:00] Technological Bebe technology-wise technology. I can't say the word technological and societal experiments to help us as human beings.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:12] I honestly, I think that, uh, I want to focus on the sense of duty to one another, honestly,  and I think that that's one of those pieces that is fragmented and broken.  I think most people believe that the easiest, best way to get ahead is to hold everyone else back while I surge ahead.</p>
<p>And it's that losing that sense of a rising tide lifts, all ships. And there's lots of pithy sayings on both sides of these things, but really I find the best way, the easiest way to get ahead in the short term is to, is to gut your neighbor. The best way to get ahead in the longterm is to support and love each other.</p>
<p>And what we're seeing in America are things like experiments with giving people money. And seeing what [00:09:00] happens, give them stable, not income, isn't quite the right word, but give it as a monthly stipend.  Because of course we're the land of plenty and we have so much extra theoretically, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</p>
<p>So what happens  when we do that? The thing that they're discovering is not that people are sitting on their sofas and drinking more beer. They're discovering that people are, have taken the opportunity to go to community colleges and study and learn. And people are discovering that with a quote unquote extra income, they're able to relax.</p>
<p>Some people do keep their jobs, but they have an extra cushion. They have more than they had before. And this is a good thing. This is relaxing people and helping a community build.  They're discovering if they deliver these stipends sometimes to homeless people gets them off the street.</p>
<p>And then they turn that into a job and they turn that into, it's just a, it's a question of how do I start moving?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:58] The key word for me that pops out [00:10:00] is relax because once you're out of that flight and fight mode,  you're able to relax. So therefore you're able to actually have a decent conversation or look at someone else, therefore friendships blossom in that state.</p>
<p>But it's not going to, if you're constantly in survival mode, if you're constantly in fear of, where am I going to get food from, how am I going to pay the rent? How am I, how am I, how am I? And I'm all in it by myself. But when you realize you have enough, you realize, oh, there are other people here, you know, oh, look, there is a tree outside.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:34] And you said it I'm in it by myself,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:37] which brings us to the loneliness epidemic. And the whole reason why we started this whole thing is it came from that. So do you find that. I mean, we were going back to technology. That's why we're doing a whole show on blockchain is because was a Satoshi. How do you say it again?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:57] Got to help me. I have to learn his last name.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:59] So [00:11:00] there's this do y'all know about Satoshi. So can you explain to them, she just basically he or she, we don't know who this person. Yeah. We</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:10] don't know, uh, delivered as, as their gift to the world. Bitcoin,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:14] basically, this is what they did. You guys, they sent an email to the world.</p>
<p>One sentence. I saw it last week. It was phenomenal. One sentence with a code, right? Like you can live</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:25] there. There's actually an initial paper and it's like three or four of them. There was</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:28] a link were like, here's a link have at people have that humanity. You're welcome.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:34] Right. And this is a way of, this is the beginnings of the democratization of money basically.</p>
<p>So make it easy for me to send money to Paul in England,  without having  a bank as the go-between.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:49] So basically getting rid of the middleman, getting rid of all that stuff and giving power to the people so that you can become financially free. You can make [00:12:00] money. They it's basically like the ultimate Robinhood.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:04] And ultimately, uh, I remember when they were discussing, should we, should we not, uh, go forward with the Euro in Europe? What did that help provide? Will that broke down trade barriers  and allowed economies to flourish.</p>
<p>And there's of course always weird sides to everything, but that was the initial gift. And so we're looking at that also in the technological sphere.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:23] So, if you think about it, that's like right now, that's exactly what we needed was that gift, right. That's major philotimo right there.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:33] Right.</p>
<p>And, and honestly, to go even even a little bit further back, as far as technology goes, we have things like Khan academy. Uh, we have things like Duolingo. We have, you know, um, I have the ability through public libraries to get access to technical resources, to training materials, to mango languages, to Linda, and to Lynn, exactly.</p>
<p>To Linda technical training, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. We're seeing much more of a [00:13:00] democratization if we know where, how to look and where to look, technology is trying  to remove those types of barriers and expose us to more.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:07] Basically free university level training.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:11] Of course, with that comes G.</p>
<p>But if you can't afford a computer, if you can't afford decent internet access, and there are plans in place to, to lower barriers for these as well. But you know, it's, it's the, the future is not entirely rosy, but it certainly looks better I think, than it's looked in quite some time.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:31] Okay. So, so are you done with your, you are going to drop</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:37] the mic.</p>
<p>Does anybody else want to</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:39] comment? I want KJ. I want KJ to go last. Was that mine? Oh, okay. Beth is here. Yay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:49] Well, I'm wondering if anybody has, you know, anybody wants to contradict or emphasize</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:53] the points. Wait, wait, I want, yeah, but um, I want KJ to be the very last one to [00:14:00] drop the mic. You can comment KJ, but I want you to bring your profoundness,</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:06] Ending with KJ because it there's a one-on-one and also the whole, he, you know how to deal with traumatic, you know, sorts. And we are, we are dancing around that subject.</p>
<p>Yeah. Goodness.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:14:18] Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:19] So does anyone, does anybody want to comment on what Matt said with technology? You know, the answer to the question I had for that,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:14:29] I think it's lovely that , you ended it on: we're moving in the right direction", which  compared to how far back we've gone from the say, like the dark ages, how naughty we were as a human race back then compared to how beautiful it becoming now. It's obvious that it's going forward.</p>
<p>People forget that. So that's uh, that's nice. Hi, Beth.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:52] Beth is here. Beth Hewitt is here, everybody. So I gave, I gave Beth the lowdown. [00:15:00] So, uh, Beth, we're talking about philotimo um, that whole schpiel, so you're pretty much caught up on what we're, what we were saying. Right.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:15:09] I'll just</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:12] So philotimo is  generosity of spirit sense of honor. Sense of duty to your fellow human being is , what we're talking about. And so I'm going around, we're asking questions. I just asked the first question, which went to Matt, talking about technology and how philotimo can come into play within technology.</p>
<p> Paul, do you think you could give us like, are there a techniques and meditations to open ourselves up to possibilities and free us from our desire for more and more as well as to recenter us?</p>
<p>Like, I don't know. I know, I think one</p>
<p>of</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:51] your eyebrows,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:52] I think when people get caught in survival mode, it's really hard for them to get out of it.</p>
<p>You know, get out of that [00:16:00] whole way of thinking like, oh my God, I don't have enough. Oh my God, I need more. Oh my God. Oh my God. You know, that whole tense up that whole anxiousness,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:09] you know, which brings us back to this book  that KJ recommended that I'm reading called "Burnout". And it talks about, we don't complete the circle of the stress response.</p>
<p> How do you stop the stress? Because the stress is ongoing, right? So the lion may come and you can kill the lion, the lion's dead, and you still feel the stress, and then eventually it stops.</p>
<p> If you're going to the office and every day, you're accosted by the lion every day. That stress doesn't go away. And it affects every part of every system that your body has. And that's when people end up being in trouble, you know, all the heart attacks and strokes and cancer, all that stuff, right.</p>
<p>It's from the never ending stress cycle. [00:17:00] And</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:17:01] then it just</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:02] roaring at you or something. Ryan lion is chasing you about to kill you and about to eat  you.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:17:07] Okay. Yeah, I'd be stressed. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:11] But the lion is now other things it's it's, it's your crazy mother-in-law or  it's your boss. It's um, you know, it's like reliving, it's like, what's that term?</p>
<p>You guys, uh, the wound of a thousand cuts, like something happens to you and it's over, but you keep replaying it in your mind and you relive it over and over again. Like I remember when nine 11 happened, they kept showing it on TV and then they realized the kids are watching this and the kids don't realize that it's a replay.</p>
<p>They think, oh my God, it's another one and another one and another one. And so I feel like our, um, our minds relive that and our body doesn't know that it's a memory. Your body's thinking, here we go again. And you never get out of it. [00:18:00] Yeah. So I guess Paul and KJ, can you both answer this, like Paul, maybe you can lead us through a tiny little meditation or KJ.</p>
<p>You can. I mean, how, how do we get ourselves to a point where we can stop the stress cycle? Like what, what is it that we need to do?</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:18:22] I can just say real quickly, but I would love, of course I don't want to, I don't want to interrupt Paul. Um, but, uh, Matt and Fawn, you actually had already touched on one of the most key things, which is,  movement.</p>
<p> A lot of times things are internal and they're cerebral, but what happens when the body is trying to find a place to channel and move the stress that it's, uh, absorbed in memory in witnessing.  You had already mentioned movement. And so I can go into it a little bit later about what sort of movement that could be.</p>
<p>[00:19:00] And it's surprisingly not, it doesn't have to be this big gesture. It can be something quite small to make a profound impact. Um, but the key is to remember that we are wholly connected. And so, as you were just saying Fawn, if we're going to be internalizing and keeping  memories and observations cerebral,  we need to reconnect and embody what's happening as well.</p>
<p>And so movement is, uh, a wonderful key to brake the stress cycle, and remind that all systems work together and it doesn't have to keep repeating it. Doesn't have to keep repeating. And so you guys already are.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:42] But by movement, do you mean like going to the gym, going to like a Jazzercise class or something?</p>
<p>Or in my case, I used to cross train martial arts and beat things up, destroy things.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:19:56] Yeah. I mean, movement can be anything from an actual, [00:20:00] an action that could be a Jazzercise classes in the class martial arts, or it can literally be the difference between turning your, your fists inward. What?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:13] Yeah, really? Yeah. I love that.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:20:17] We use the start of it, so you don't have to get on the treadmill right now, guys. They might just, I</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:21] don't wanna, I don't want to, I don't want to go to the gym. See</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:20:24] for me though, ultimately speaking, when I feel like I'm too much in my head is how I describe it. I'll go for a ride and going for a ride to me means I need to feel physical pain and I need to look back over whatever it is.</p>
<p>Usually it's a climb. I like to look back at my climb and say, I did that. I have to do. You</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:49] just said, I need to feel physical pain,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:20:52] physical discomfort, harsh comfort. I do. And that's just what it is, because that way I done something. I [00:21:00] feel like I've done something it's not, I'm not cutting myself. It's I need to feel like I've, I've, I've taken this wonderful machine that I've been given.</p>
<p>You know, that I've been blessed and given, which is my body and I have worked it and I have to feel that way.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:19] Interesting. Do you think that's where. Cause I kind of have the opposite. Like I would like to inflict pain, but don't get me wrong. It's not like I want to hurt somebody aside unless it's a martial arts experience, but I like to scream and yell and maybe get a bat and, and like hit something.</p>
<p>You know what I mean? Or someone, no, I don't want to hurt anybody, but I kind of do know. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to feel the pain myself cause I feel like I feel it so much that I feel it physically, my Mo my emotions are so big that it translates immediately as physical for me. [00:22:00] So I want to, um, get it out instead of going for a ride and feeling my muscles and pain.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean already?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:10] See for me though, like once like that physical pain that you feel that, oh, I really, I really messed up my leg or whatever you stretch it. He feel it for the next hour or two, and then it goes away and it's the going away, I think is the other important component of it for</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:26] me.</p>
<p>Can I tell you guys what I do and I'm afraid to do it because I'm afraid someone's going to call the police on me. And I was able to do it during the pandemic at a certain period when everybody would go out at 7:00 PM and just scream, you know, or like meet the pots and pans for the, uh, frontline workers.</p>
<p>It's the only time I've been able to do it was at that moment because I knew everyone else was making noise and no one would call the police on me. But in Santa Monica, I would open up my windows and I lived high up. [00:23:00] So like the whole neighborhood could hear me and I would lean out the window and I have this monkey call that I do.</p>
<p>And I think I've told you guys before, like it is so for real this thing, and it's so loud. And when I was in India, I was in the forest and I thought I was alone. You know, I was, I stepped away from the people I was with and I was out in the forest and I just belted out my monkey call. And then I heard rustling in the trees and I opened my eyes and I swear to you, hundreds of monkeys were running towards me and I started running for the car and it's not just monkeys.</p>
<p>Like I worked for Aveda for the Aveda corporation and I lived on the border of Wisconsin and Minnesota. And I swear to you the same monkey call brought about all the dairy cows  they. Started running towards. And once again, I ran for my car, [00:24:00] not because I was afraid of the cows, but I was afraid that they would jump over that tiny, skinny little fence and onto the highway. And I didn't want to be responsible. I had just moved to town, like the only, like non-white person moving into town, like, look at what she did. She like killed all the cows, you know, ran away. Oh my God. But like doing that monkey call is kind of like screaming and that like releases all the stress for me.</p>
<p>You know what I mean? It's like the opposite of you, Matt . Like you're more internal. I just need to belt it out. And you know, living where we live here in Colorado, I'm just afraid someone's going to call the police.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:24:42] Yeah. It feels so natural. I feel like that. I literally wrote the word scream down before you started talking to him where he said a</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:49] date.</p>
<p>That's what we're trying to show you. That's why you're my sister. It</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:24:52] feels like really natural. It feels like a natural thing to do, to want to scream and let things out. And yet we can't do that [00:25:00] unless we're on a remote island or behind a</p>
<p>waterfall</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:04] or like our face in a pillow. Yeah. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:25:08] But I often feel like I just like to scream, just like to just let whatever out, whatever is inside</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:13] out here.</p>
<p>I mean, yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:25:19] I remember when I was, I was in rehab. Yeah. And I had to swap counselor for like a week and this amazing counselor. She's amazing. She's like, she's a bit different to my other counselor. She's like, right. Oh, I want you to scream and swear into the woods about this person that I was angry at.</p>
<p>And at first I was just, I can't do this. She's like, come on, just do it. And I won't swear on, on, on the old podcast, but I was like I said, the F word and then the C word, and I was like, FC. (Someone suggests "Fish'n Chip"). You you, you [00:26:00] see that's it. Yeah, exactly. Fish you. You chip.</p>
<p>At first, I was like, she was like that wasn't proper enough. I know it wasn't was it. I tried it again. It wasn't real, you know, and eventually I did it a proper light. It just came out. It was really real. And I turned to look to her and I was. I was shocked since she was like, oh, that was proper. When it, I was like, scared</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:25] me that that was proper.</p>
<p>I,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:26:29] and then I can just imagine, I can imagine someone on the other side of the forest, just hearing somebody swearing, what you fish and chips,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:40] I'm envisioning this, this inmate I'm envisioning this innocent, Bambi and Thumper hanging up frolicking in the forest, and then they hear your potty mouth.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:51] Well, you guys, I always wonder, like we hear the birds tweeting and I'm like, oh, look at that.</p>
<p>It's so beautiful. And then sometimes I think, I wonder if they're saying [00:27:00] you fish and chip you're fricking Liberty blip, you know, I'm like they could be cussing each other out for all I know, but it sounds so beautiful.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:27:12] Agree. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:27:16] Oh,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:16] they're all</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:27:16] going for. Some baby beds, a mother bird was not having it. She was squawking. She was swearing. She was  Fish'n Chip'n, chipping fish,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:26] son of a biscuit. You guys, I, because of the evil, um, yoga community around us, I instituted this thing in our home and it's called the, let it out club because my girls, I mean, all of our feelings were really, really hurt.</p>
<p>And you know, my girls are so sweet. They never cuss. They, you know, I have a truck driver's mouth.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:49] Yes, she does.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:49] You know, KJ was saying, it's remarkable. You never say those words on the air. I'm like, it is a miracle.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:27:57] I'm impressed</p>
<p>with your</p>
<p>restraint.</p>
<p>[00:28:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:59] Seriously, I have the foulest mouth out there. Like, it is unbelievable what comes out of my mouth.</p>
<p>And so, but the girls have heard it since they were babies, but they never use those words. Never, you know? Cause I, I. Somehow I explained to them, please don't talk like</p>
<p>what happened was after the whole yoga fiasco, because they were so hurt and I could see that they were really internalizing it and I, and I needed it for them to get it out and they wouldn't, you know, they would cry, but I felt like it wasn't all out. So I said, okay guys, and this was when this was when you were at the office, so you weren't home.</p>
<p>And so, so I'm like, all right, family meeting. So whenever I say family meeting, there's no questions. There's no, like everybody just comes to where I am. They're like, okay, what is it? What happened? Are we in trouble? And so my family meeting, I'm instituting this,  Let It [00:29:00] Out Club. And I want you to say anything about anyone without thinking of consequences, because there will be none as long as we declare, let it out club.</p>
<p>And when we're done, we declare we're closing it now. And so there will be no repercussion. What's the word repercussions. And you're not going to get in trouble. And the universe is not going to be mad at you either. Um, it's it's okay. We've made a contract with the universe with everything that we still love, but we need to get this out.</p>
<p>We need to get this venom out and they still didn't know what to do. I said, okay, well, let me be your example. And so I started to call off all the names of these son of biscuits from these fish and chips. From the yoga community. And one by one, I would say their names and then just go for it. And it was so vile and [00:30:00] so horrible.</p>
<p>And like, it wasn't just fish and chip words. It was like, totally. Um, taking their... I would, I would go for their... I would destroy them. You know what I mean? Like, and it was so bad that we started laughing like crazy. Like we could not stop laughing.</p>
<p>And then when it comes down to their turn, the girls turned to do to do it. They still wouldn't use any bad words, but they would in the sweetest way still say what they feel is, um, Bad about these people's personalities. And it was the sweetest thing to see  and hear because they were still so kind, but they let the universe know that this personality trait of this particular person is vile.</p>
<p>And just actually a few weeks ago, Alegra finally started to use some bad words and  boy.... [00:31:00] I started shaking. I'm like, damn girl, excuse me. But I was like, wow, okay, let it out, baby. Let it out. And she started crying and just let it all out. And then we closed up the club and we had, uh, then we watched The Golden Girls after that.</p>
<p>Totally happy. Well,</p>
<p>yeah. And I recently told some people on Instagram that I do this, and I was afraid of haters coming at me like, how dare you do this with your children? You're such a bad mom, but all these moms came right. Writing back to me saying, thank you for that. We're going to do that too. That's so great. So it's a trend.</p>
<p>Let's, let's start a new thing. Let it out club, let it out better, better out than in.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:31:51] It's an acknowledgement that it's okay. Like Beth was saying, we know how we instinctually want to respond to something, but immediately [00:32:00] we're like, I can't, I can't do that. Or Paul's therapist No,that's not proper. Let's let's let's properly do this. So it's already intrinsically built in that. Wait, it's not safe for us to be, um, true in our expression.</p>
<p>Right. And so. To, to actually say, not only am I going to acknowledge it, but I'm going to set aside time for us to do it together. That's creating a safe place and creating a new culture or creating a new norm for how you can healthily express yourself. So I'm all for it. Good for you. I'm glad you mentioned it out loud to hear other people say yes,</p>
<p>I like that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:34] Yeah. Yeah. It made me more brave. And, and I think, especially for women, it's really, really crucial that we,  say, yes, sister, go for it. Do you know what I mean? Encourage each other to let out those feelings because we're taught to be so good, you know, to keep it down. Don't don't make any waves.</p>
<p>And, you know, I'm sorry, I've done it to [00:33:00] Matt too. I'm like, Matt, please don't yell back at the crazy lunatic out in traffic, please just don't say anything. And you're like, I can't, I have to, they have to learn. I'm like, please don't cause any trouble, you know, I get so scared, but yeah. Right, Matt, I mean, I don't know.</p>
<p>There's a, there's a fine line and I don't know society is, is weird, but it's so weird that we're talking about this. Cause we're talking about generosity of spirit, a sense of honor, a sense of duty to your fellow human being. But I feel like we need to get this stuff out of us to be a generous kind, compassionate human being to help each other out.</p>
<p>Like all this stuff needs to come out. Like last week, how Paul was telling us about the loving kindness meditation. I'm like Paul, that's so powerful, but w w you know, let's make sure that we release the, the rage and the anger and the hurt first before we get into that place of [00:34:00] compassion and love. So can</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:34:03] we congesting like, uh, feeling it, but not acting on it?</p>
<p>You know? Yeah. Feeling it is really important</p>
<p>feeling what</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:13] you mean, the rage, the rage</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:34:15] on emotions, you know, people don't necessarily feel them. They push them  under and the feeling part is the important part. If we like, you know, say like with anger, you know, feeling anger is very important because we need to go through it.</p>
<p>Otherwise it goes inside and then it boils up and then we blow up and something crazy happens. It's important also to not react on it. Um, so feel it, and then just like hit someone that ain't the way to go about it, The way to go about it, is to  walk away and then do whatever you do to let it out sort of thing.</p>
<p>So, yeah, it's very important what you're saying.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:50] So can</p>
<p> I turn the wheel back to friends to the sense of duty to your fellow human being? Paul, [00:35:00] can you give us a little nugget on how to go about that? Like through meditation you're scratching your</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:07] eyebrows. It almost sounds like Paul wants to go the complete other way and say fish and chips in the woods, as opposed to a nice peaceful meditation.</p>
<p>He wants let it out. Let it, I don't know.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:35:19] I mean, like I say so, so let's answer the question, but, also, like you were saying, it's important to heal before we can, before we can heal others. You know? So like feeding that like out is, is a way of healing. Isn't it? Um, have you already asked me the question?</p>
<p>Have you not asked it to me yet, but,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:37] well, the question was this, are there techniques in meditation to open ourselves to possibilities and free us from our desire for more and more as well as to recenter us? I guess the way we started this was Matt. You helped me structure. This was because in society, um, in this world of gross [00:36:00] consumerism.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:01] Yeah. It's kind of the opposite of duty to each other. It's basically I have a duty to myself to, uh, acquire as much as humanly possible.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:09] Yeah. So how can we go from that to giving, to feeling the sense that we're not in competition, that there's plenty to go around. There's plenty for everyone, right?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:36:22] There's a lot of different meditations you can do.</p>
<p>I mean, every pretty much every kind of meditation in a way helps that because it's connection. Okay. It's connection with your higher power, whatever you want to call it. God, Godess, the universe blahdeblah um, and in a way as well, God is, are other beings is our fellow man woman. Just spending a bit of time out of your day, meditate in 20 minutes a day, gets you more connection with people and with God, when you don't even think about it. It just happens.</p>
<p> But you can do [00:37:00] certain practices which concentrate more so on connection.  Like the meta practice we did, we talked about last week, , which is a love and kindness practice. You can do different chakra meditation practices. Now there's, it's, it's interesting. Cause most chakra meditation practices just concentrate on the energy and making it all clear and lovely.</p>
<p> The ones I do you talk about what character defects block, certain chakras and what spiritual principles help clear them, you know? And it brings up those kinds of chakra meditations. Bring up certain challenges to face, to, resolve with, , word spritz principles.  So like Being impatient, you know, you go for patients being unloving and you go for love and you skip over and yeah.</p>
<p>Right. So that's one, um, there's a few you can do with like you do normally with them mala beads. So you get the 81 little [00:38:00] beads of Buddhist half or 108 beads and you go for each one and you do like a love practice. So for 10 minutes you would just go for each bead and each bead will be one different person.</p>
<p>You give them love, but you don't spend too long on each person. You spend about three to four seconds and that's it. And just move on, you do that for 10 minutes. And then the beads for me, for example, will , feel heavier after I've done the practice because they've got more meaning to them. You know, they're more, they're more, they're more, um, and then there's forgiveness practices.</p>
<p>So you can do 10 minutes again, but you do three minutes of first forgiving yourself of how you've hurt yourself. And you only spend five seconds in each bond going through those beads. And then you do forgiving yourself for how you've heard others five seconds. And then you do forgiving others for how they've hurt you and different stuff like that.</p>
<p>But I mean, for me personally, the best way to be of [00:39:00] service is through practice throughout your day, which is getting out there and doing it.  When I wake up every day, I give myself to be a service, all,  for my God. I just say, God, thank you for giving me life this morning. I give myself to be of service of the love and light. That starts off my day with the intention of being less selfless going into the day with being, more, um, we're thinking about others .</p>
<p>And there's a little practice light, so. If you drive a new car every past new drive, pass you go. I love you, brother. I love you, sister. I love you brother. And stuff like that.</p>
<p>Um, obviously there's charitable stuff. So in my days, I normally go out  my way to really help others through free meditation sessions, through like helping children to swim,  helping dogs and stuff like this.  It's really [00:40:00] more so an action thing I would say for me personally, and that just, you know, makes you feel it then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:09] Thank you, Paul. Thank you so much. Should we go to Katie? Katie? Are you ready? Okay, so here's your question. Are you ready? So this is the question. Are there nutrition deficits that when addressed can help to free us from thinking in survival mode? Because we always talk about survival mode.  The reason why we are not able to be there for someone that we're not able to help someone, think about somebody else or  to give any energy towards anything else is because we're in survival mode. We're in such a mode of fighting for our lives. It may not be a lion chasing you. It may be you're having a tough time paying your bills. Maybe you're you have insomnia. Maybe you [00:41:00] have so many worries in your life that you're not able to manage, which is almost everybody I can think of in the world right now. There are so many stresses. Joe Dispenza  said, you know, if, if your house is on fire, there's no way you're going to be thinking about decorating. You need to get out. The house is on fire. It's not a time to say, I wonder what. I should paint the walls today.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean? That's survival mode, you cannot be in a creative mode. So that's what, um, that's what I mean by that. I think that's what Matt, you meant by that. Right? And that question, so I'll rephrase it. Can you read it?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:44] Well, no, no, no. Basically. Um, I think in inside of our society, we look at. Everybody wants a quick fix and I get it. And so do I, everybody wants that silver, we call it a silver bullet in software development, you know, fill in the blank. We just want that magic [00:42:00] solution.</p>
<p>And so I'm wondering,  so when you're caught in like survival mode, all of a sudden, like your focus narrows and you're agitated, your muscles are always tensed up and at least that's, that's the way it goes for me.  Are there  nutritional things, I mean,  does this point to, if you do this, it's going to get worse and if you do this, it might get better.</p>
<p>Or are there any universals that are strictly speaking legal? Because I know people are experimenting with and, uh, MDMA to, uh, uh, for post-traumatic stress. And they're saying, uh, psilocybin  and THC can be good for this kind of stuff, but strictly legals, universally legal around them, world, something easily accessible things that we can do nutritionally that are either going to amp it up so we want to avoid it or can ratchet it down, which are things we would want to do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:49] Right? Like when, um, like the day that Katie told us about vitamin D and COVID, I swear to you every day I have vitamin D now. And I'm like, [00:43:00] thank you, Katie. Thank you. Cause I, you know, you start to feel like, oh, I'm good.</p>
<p>I don't need to do anything. Do you know what I mean? But everyday I'm like vitamin D and I remember the very first time we met, you told us we were new to Colorado and you were like, it was around winter time and you described the planet to me and the girls. And you're like, yo, you guys, the way the sun is and stuff, you know, you described the planet and our position in the mountains and everything.</p>
<p>And you're like, you need D3 because you're not reaching it through the sun's rays right now. And we're like, oh my God. Okay. So anyway, Katie is our guru for all things, nutrition and actually everything. Everybody here. I'm so impressed by everyone here. So anyway, take it, take it away, Katie.  DISCLAIMER: ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE TAKING ANY SUPPLEMENTS. WE ARE NOT DOCTORS!</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:43:50] Okay. So for survival mode,  what we really need, what I thought the word , is motivation.</p>
<p>You need to be motivated to survive [00:44:00] and so motivation in order to have motivation in the body, you need something that our body naturally produces, which is dopamine. And I'm sure everybody's heard about dopamine and dopamine is actually a neuro-transmitter, which is a messenger to bring actual messages to the brain, to tell the brain that if you have enough dopamine, I feel good. I'm satisfied. I want to go out and do a good job. I want to  like what philotimo says I want to do more than is expected of me without having  anything given back to me? So,  a lot of us right now are depleted in dopamine because of COVID.</p>
<p>Cause we're just sitting around and we're not doing anything and we're not exercising. Just like when KJ said about movement is so very important. We're not eating well. We are taking drugs, we're taking too much [00:45:00] alcohol, we're eating fast food. So all those things, deplete dopamine, and dopamine  is something that our body naturally produces and we can get back again.</p>
<p>So it's not like, oh, we're going to have a problem with it. So one things, the things that we can, actually help to restore our body is what I said before is just, you know, like exercise, good food, , sunlight, sleep is very, very, very important.  Stop the blue lights at night cause that wrecks your sleep.</p>
<p> Then there's also something that naturally like caffeine naturally stimulates dopamine in the body.  There's also a lot of food that we eat. There's chicken meats. There's bananas.  So there's a lot of good food that we can eat that. Actually restores are dopamine in the body.  A lot of people can actually take supplements that  increase dopamine.  The main supplement is L tyrasine and L-Phenylalanine</p>
<p>and those are [00:46:00] actually neuro-transmitters that are made in the brain. And there are actual supplements out there that have those two in there. And there are now companies out and people are doing this there it's called Nootropics, which are supplements like these amino acids and B vitamins that help produce more dopamine in the body.</p>
<p>All these young kids now that are working in computers and stuff are taking these nootropics to help their brain work better.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:30] Yes. I'm sorry, can you repeat that slowly? What's it called again? What a tropics,</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:46:35] um, nootropicsor some people pronounce it? No trope X where it's spelled N O O T R O P I C S.</p>
<p> And they are things like, um, I actually hold on, I have one here. I don't know if you can see it. Um,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:55] it's it says dopamine brain</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:46:57] food. Yeah. It's made by the company [00:47:00] called natural stacks and it's actually a dopamine supplement and it is fennel alanine, and L L-tyrosine and also B vitamins. B vitamins are very important for our body, for our brain health.</p>
<p>And there are also catalysts  in our food that helps actually our brain work better to perform functions, everyday functions, and also for detoxification of the body.  So the things that really deplete dopamine, as I said again, are stress, lack of sleep, lack, sunshine, and all that.</p>
<p>And we could re replace that with food, and exercise  and supplements. So that's going to help us on a daily basis to actually be happier and to feel motivated, to go out and help our fellow neighbor and do better in our job and to be more creative,  to be more attentive to others,  to have just a feeling of, pleasure for [00:48:00] ourselves, so we can have a happier day.</p>
<p>It's mainly, you know, nutrition comes down to so much, as we all know.  Food is information and you put in junk, you're going to get out junk. You're going to feel terrible. And as everybody says, if you have a Maserati, you're not going to put in the low grade gasoline and our bodies are better than Maseratis or Porsches or whatever we got to put in good food. And when we put in good food, then we'll feel good, then we'll have enough dopamine to be happy. That's one of the nutritional things that I was thinking of is  dopamine, actually promotes more motivations and that motivation is something that we need for our survival.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:43] That makes sense. And you know what?</p>
<p>This makes sense because when you have food, when you have friends around, chances are you're sitting at a table and you're making a dinner together, the best gatherings are with food, right? The food helps us with, [00:49:00] it brings us even more dopamine, more dopamine than we would get, even just hanging out with one another.</p>
<p>It's the, yeah. And, and,</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:49:09] you know, like when you bring something to somebody's house, you're excited to share because you think, oh, what can I make for that dinner? So that makes you feel good that you're sharing with people, or like when you go over to somebody's house and you help them cook,  and you're making this wonderful meal together, everybody's contributed to that wonderful meal and it makes you feel good.</p>
<p>And that's your dopamine.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:33] You know what I just realized. When I do take food to someone else, like back in the day, when we used to go out a lot and like go to parties, I would show up with a filo dish with filo dough, my friendly dough. I'm serious. Cause I can make like all kinds of savory as well as baklava dishes with  filo dough, that's what I show up with that. And don't be shocked when you know how people show up with flowers. I [00:50:00] show up with a biggest pineapple I can find like, here you go. Instead of flowers, I show up with a big pineapple. I don't know. It always makes me laugh, but something filo dough and a</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:10] pineapple, you might be channeling a past life.</p>
<p>Pineapples were very big in England because there were so exotic way back in the day. Right. So actually giving someone a pineapple was like a huge deal because it's not like they grow there.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:24] I always loved the UK I've. Always wanted to live there. Thank you. Yeah, probably. Yeah. And I swear to you. I had so many people scold me for it.</p>
<p>Like, what are you doing with a pineapple? I'm like, this is a pineapple who wouldn't love it. But if honestly, if you ever want to give me a gift, when you come over and bring me a big watermelon, that sounds like a drum. I can't get enough watermelon. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:50] You got a thumbs up. It has to have a very low sound.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:50:54] You like receiving watermelons, but you'd give away pineapples.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:57] Yeah, it is kind of weird. Isn't</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:59] it [00:51:00] easier to hold it? It looks like a flower.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:51:02] Uh, can I say laziness?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:04] No, no. Cause I can hold it with one thing and it has a flowery thing. Comes up, you know, it's like a champagne, like going, you know, it's,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:51:17] it's pretty.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:18] Yeah. Yeah, definitely. It exudes  um, the pineapple and its appearance exude celebration, you know, it looks like a champagne bottle that has just been, you know, exploding. You know what I mean? Like it's a flower. That's saying I'm here. I love it.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:51:37] It's like a firework without the scary sounds for me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:40] You know what I mean?</p>
<p>The fireworks. Thank you without the drama. Thank you. Without the trauma that I should say</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:51:47] it's trauma and the startle, the startle event. It's just, it's a silent celebration, but oh, it's</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:52] good. So good. I love it. Well, I got, uh,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:51:58] can I, can I, can I comment [00:52:00] one thing on the out? So I love everything you said. Um, Katy and I agree with pretty much all of it.</p>
<p>Um, I'm not a fan of the caffeine there. I gotta admit  I'm not a fan of the caffeine. Like it gives you the dopamine quick, like the quick burst, but what it does for you, you know, it's really, it's not good for you, is it it's like a neurotoxin, so it savages your, your nerves and also it floods your adrenal glands.</p>
<p>So, you know, when they go, which normally it also gets flood started because of stress. They, they, um, it's really acidic your adrenaline. So that again, isn't good for your body. And then the kind of the by-product of the adrenaline then goes into your liver and that makes it sluggish. And, you know, so in the long run for the caffeine,  I wouldn't say it isn't good for me, but everything else makes complete sense.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:57] But Paul, Paul and Katie, what about [00:53:00] maca? Because there are certain caffeine like green tea, right? There are certainly caffeine. Well,</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:53:06] Paula  no,  I agree with you too. I think in, in excess that can, that can definitely too much caffeine for people; some people is not good, like, like Fawn. Um, her, her body probably just cannot process caffeine very well as some people can. So yes, caffeine does  damage adrenals, but there are some like green tea is very, very, um, very healthy for the body. It's really good polyphenol</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:53:33] when, when you say like most, so like most of the people that fund the studies for how good matcha tea is, is normally the caffeine industry.</p>
<p>They put millions of pounds into these studies to show how amazing it is for you, rather then into studies, which are like more important. And even though, cause it's natural, it doesn't change, it's caffeine.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:53:57] True. I think it just all depends on the person. [00:54:00] So if you can do it fine, but do it in moderation and  and if you can't then don't do it. It just depends on you. I know, but I do think there are very beneficial properties to green tea there. It has been proven. And there are good studies that are conducted by people other than, um, you know, the people who are motivating it to work out in their favor</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:21] and also maca, maca powder, not mate, but maca, maca.</p>
<p>Does that have caffeine? I think it does right a little bit.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:54:32] No.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:54:34] Macho does. Yeah, that's much</p>
<p>MACA is actually a route from, Bolivia. And that's more, um, that promotes more endurance, athletic ability and hormonal balancing. So I don't think it does. I don't</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:52] think it has caffeine. Okay.</p>
<p>Cause we've been drinking a lot of maca powder. Yeah. Because [00:55:00] I want to control the hormones. The hormones are out of control while they're not out of control, but they're definitely in, in our house, three women and one man, things are, things are happening now. Things are changing. So the maca powder has been coming into our kitchen.</p>
<p>Look at Matt's face. Okay. So let's go to Beth and I'm just going to check in with KJ KJ. Are we still okay, so it'll be Beth and then you, and then we'll put a little, pretty little bow on it and see you all next week. So, Beth, are you ready, Beth? Alrighty. All right. Visualization. Visual is, this is another one word that I can't pronounce visualization techniques sometimes start from a place or from places of confusion and negative emotion, like there's things happening that are bad and we need to use visualization to help us get us out of it.</p>
<p>Would you say that once you start to use them  it [00:56:00] might free us from survival mode? Um, this is your question, Matt, why are you looking at me like that? Matt? Why are you sensitive right now, baby? Well, excuse me. I look over and you're scrunching your eyebrows, like. What is wrong with you?</p>
<p>Thanks babe. Here. Why don't you ask Beth? The question I love you love is winning, but you scare me with your lips. Like I'm all happy go lucky. I'm looking over here and I look over it and I'm thinking there's going to be love. And you're looking at me like with it. Yeah. Like that, like a scrunched up face what's happening.</p>
<p>What's absolutely nothing. All right. So can you help me with the question? What was your question? This is your question,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:42] actually. So I want to say that typically, if, if my life is happy, go lucky and I'm having a great time and my life is simple and I've never done visualization before, right? I'm not going to, I'm probably not going to start.</p>
<p>What's the point I've already got everything I need, I want et cetera, et cetera. So it feels like a , [00:57:00] visualization starts to come from this place of, I want to do better, you know, because something's not quite all there. So now hand me the piece of paper. Oh,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:11] here you go. Thank you. Your question.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:15] So anyways, so that's why I say the visualization techniques start from places of confusion and or negative emotion, or just feeling a lack; I want to do better. So the question is, would you say that once you start to actually visualize things and you start to experience some success that, uh, that might help us free us from survival mode?</p>
<p>Or how would you, you know, thinking about survival mode, thinking about duty to our fellow man and being in a place where you can't do that, using visualization techniques to take you to a place where a, you can help you where you can actually get away from quote-unquote survival mode and to a place where you can use them to help your fellow man.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:57] So</p>
<p>[00:58:00] <strong>Beth: </strong>[00:57:59] when I read the question, um, As any good student, I like to dissect the questions. So starting with  the success, it might free us from survival mode. I think we've got to be really careful about the words that we use. And so, I think saying that we're in survival mode or trying to get ourselves out of survival mode is almost like creating that experience where we stay in survival mode.</p>
<p>So I would maybe start to use different words to explain that the one that comes to mind would be thrive. You want, you want to thrive. I think if you start from that place of survival mode, you kind of tell you it's a kind of a self fulfilling prophecy where  you're going to</p>
<p>stay there.</p>
<p>So I think</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:58:42] we need to. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes. It's about reframing. It's about reframing in your head. And, and not, and saying, not that I want to get away from this place, but I want to move to this place, this other place.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:58:56] Yeah.</p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
<p>So,  going to the start of [00:59:00] the question, which was around, we sometimes start from a place of confusion and a negative emotion.</p>
<p>We should never start a visualization from a place of confusion and negative emotion. So the first thing we want to do before we even think about visualization is getting really crystal clear, getting real clarity on what it is that we want to visualize, and that can depend on what, whatever situation you are in and what we want to focus upon.</p>
<p>So if we're talking about, I don't know if we're all talking about friendship, then we might first want to explore. What does friendship mean to me? What does that look like in the world that I want to be living in and just journaling on that and just asking herself some of those searching questions.</p>
<p>And then once we've got a bit more clarity around what that could be, then we can start exploring the visualization aspects of it and using all the different senses to really develop that picture of that particular situation. What does it feel like to be in this [01:00:00] new environment with friends? What does that look like?</p>
<p>Who are my friends? Who am I with? How big is my circle? How big is my community? What are the conversations that we're having? What does it sound like? Where am I I'm at a party or am I in a community hall? All of those kinds of things. So we need to get really crystal clear. So there isn't any confusion before we even moved to the visual visualization aspect of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Would you say that once we use them with success, it might free us from survival mode.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:34] So you, you just want to smack that right out of my, my initial thoughts. Because if I'm in survival mode, I that's, that's the, that's the way beginning of the journey. And I need to on some level, lift myself out of survival mode through not direct visualization, but going through the initial processes of a visualization, really picturing [01:01:00] how things may or may not look, touch, see, smell, see, and then actually enter into a visualization step.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[01:01:09] Yeah. And, and start to build on that, you know, and each and every time  you could do that over a call. That could be a call of  visualization that you do every morning or every week or every month, however you want to do it. And the more we visualize ourselves in that and take action so we can visualize something, but then actually we need to take some actions on that as well.</p>
<p>Do we then want to go find some more somewhere where we can volunteer so we can build up that those community links. I don't know, but I think we can, we should visualize and then take action on that visualization at the same time. And then we stopped thinking about survival mode because this isn't about survival.</p>
<p>This is about whatever it is that we're trying to accomplish.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:45] This is about what we're, where we want to move to. It's so not about what we want to get away from.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:51] Yeah. So you live your, you basically live the dream. You're living the dream. I'm living the dream. I'm going to say [01:02:00] that all the time. Thank you, Beth.</p>
<p>I'm living the dream.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[01:02:05] And I think that's as simple as it can be. I think we can make it as we can make it simple. It doesn't need to be hard. It doesn't need to be, I'm a victim. I'm in a terrible place all the time.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:13] I really liked what you said, Beth. And it comes back to language like we were talking about.</p>
<p>I recently learned about Esperanto. Am I saying  Esperanto? Do you all know about Esperanto in the 1870s? There was this, oh, Lord, help me. How do you pronounce ophthalmologist?  1870s and then early 1880s. He developed a new language to bring about peace, world peace.  So he developed this language where it would be universal, so the whole planet would speak this one language and it was to promote humanity and peace and open communication and open communication.</p>
<p>And that's. That goes to what Beth said, like choosing our [01:03:00] words.  The word is so powerful.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:02] Right. And, and it's, so it's so amazing. I love Beth that you just kind of, it felt like you just in a loving way, just bumped me on my forehead and said, yo, what are you doing? That's</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:12] how she does.</p>
<p>That's my Beth. That's my sisters.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:16] You talk about like, God, I remember hearing as a child, words hurt. And  you have to be careful with your words and we moved past that. And we shouldn't. We should always keep that present in our minds; that,  choose your words carefully.</p>
<p>But again, that's again, moving, I'm moving towards something as opposed to moving away where it's hurt. Well, I want to get away from that. No, we can need to choose your words carefully. You need to choose healing words that I want to move towards. I'm not trying to escape something at that point. I'm trying to move towards something.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:47] Yeah. Ah, we, I totally needed to hear that. Thank you, Beth. Now we go to KJ KJ, take the mic girl, wrap it up.</p>
<p>[01:04:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:59] I, I noticed her hair, her head rattling there a couple of times, but, uh, yeah, she didn't say anything as far as like agreeing with the things that were said. So that was nice.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:08] So you want to ask the question of KJ</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:04:11] KJ?</p>
<p>How do you, um, how do you start? How do we, how do we start? How do you, how would you counsel someone to help them become more philotimo? How do we just, as individuals, you know, build up our  I always call it building up our vocabulary to be more that way. And I know we've heard a lot of really great stuff today, but, uh, but what is, what is the science of the mind have to tell us about this?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:37] Oh,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:04:37] I don't know as much about the science of the mind as much as the The wisdom of what we see, wisdom of observation. And so my thought, everybody said something just like, I I've been scribbling like a mad person, as you had said, Matt, like my head was going left and right. And there was like all this whiplash because I was agreeing with everything that everyone was [01:05:00] saying.</p>
<p>And I was trying to feel it, feel it out how I could add to this. Um, but so observation, uh, And noticing and pausing with intention, I'm really loving what you were saying. All of you, just in the last moments about movement towards  what is important and what we would like, what we would desire.</p>
<p>And so what I especially like about that is the wording we spoke already about how important movement is. And then we said something toward movement towards what we desire or what we would like; the dream. And I would just maybe add another word from the thesaurus and to our hub of moving towards something meaningful and valuable.</p>
<p>And so if you were to come to me, whether it's for some advice or counseling, or just as a friend, I would first start by  [01:06:00] asking you to tell me what your thought is or your story that you wanted to share with me or your experience. Maybe from just an hour before, before I came to your house, I experienced like someone cutting me off in traffic and I had this reaction.</p>
<p> And so what I might do in that moment is while you're telling me the story and almost reliving what occurred; the experience, I would notice what your body's doing. I would notice your body language. I would notice where your eyes are. I would notice a lot of the non-verbal aspects of it. I had mentioned before earlier in the episode, like if you're clenching your fists or if your shoulders are up, or if you're speaking at a rate that's very quick and which indicates to me, okay, this really riled you up.</p>
<p>This really amped up the adrenaline. And what I might start doing is giving feedback and holding up the mirror. And just by saying, reflecting what I'm seeing, I'm noticing, as you're telling me the story that you're tapping your foot, [01:07:00] that your shoulders are up in your ear, that you're clenching your fists.</p>
<p>And I might take a part or just spend a little time noticing. And then I would ask you if you're telling me the story, what you're noticing as you're sharing this information, or what you're noticing about your clenched fists, or that you didn't notice. Oh gosh, I didn't even realize I was tapping my foot and I was speaking so quickly.</p>
<p>And then the key of it I have found,  and I really love that it's  back to  the filo dough and the filo philotimo. I hope that's how it's pronounced. I love that when it was broken down, it was about friends and honoring and awareness again, that sort of observation. And so my hope is to show folks how we can honor ,how we can honor, and we honor by acknowledging and acknowledging without judgment.</p>
<p>And I know that's [01:08:00] been  a theme that's interwoven today about I'm having this really real reaction, but I'm not actually going to go full force, full frontal, um, yelling, cursing, taking a bat to something and smashing it, because of expectations or because of what we believe is right or wrong.</p>
<p>And so that's sort of what I do. I help people understand that we need to back it up a little bit, observe, observe without judgment. And just the honoring of it is asking the questions around it.  I really loved how right now, at one point Fawn turned to Matt and said, what's wrong with you?</p>
<p>And he was like, thanks. Because when you reframe that and you ask the question of actually what's happening right now, what's right. What's happening instead of saying that there's something may be out of alignment or something that might be wrong or right. [01:09:00] But no, let me just take it back and without judgment, be like, what is actually happening right now.</p>
<p>And that can be a really powerful shift, um, in bringing in awareness and then like I'd said honoring, and if you do an honoring without judgment, we then can hear what the messages are, what we're supposed to learn  from the interaction. <strong>And then I love Matt, how you had said when you need to move and feel the discomfort or bump up against the edge of something, you then can learn what the solution is or what the soothing or the bomb is.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Okay. Sore muscles mean I need to stretch. And so it's all about the pausing. The honoring the acknowledging without judgment. That's where we start</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:09:58] That's me applauding.</p>
<p>[01:10:00] That's the crowd.</p>
<p>Are we good? Are we I'm good. Okay. It's love winning. It is.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:10:13] Love is winning.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:10:14] Love is winning. This has nothing to do.  Well, a little bit to do with what we're talking about, but,  we're talking about what happened, what's happening? What's happening. I find that, I say that all the time, I either say what's happening or what happened.</p>
<p>And I think I know where I got it from. I was walking around different parts of the middle east with some friends and we took some tour guides and they were teaching us what happened in history. Like in this area, in that area, like we would go to this town and they'd say, this is what happened here.</p>
<p>It was all war. It was all like, bad things happen here. Bad things happen here. This is where Jesus walked this word, you know? Like, but not that Jesus was bad, but I'm just saying like, this is, this is, you know, [01:11:00] things happened. All right. And things happened on top of one another in this place. Like if you go to the wailing wall, there, there are tunnels underneath.</p>
<p> It's like, Temple upon temple built on top of one another, like what happened here? So after some time my friend started say, and I didn't get what he was saying until years later, when I'm of course in the bathroom, I finally understand something like it comes to me in the shower, like, oh, that's what he meant.</p>
<p>But wherever we would go, he would start shouting. What happened here? What happened before the tour guide? I had a chance to say anything. He'd say what happened? I'm sorry guys. I don't know. It's funny. Some levity to , all this strife, what happened?</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:11:58] I think it's an invitation tell me, [01:12:00] the story, what's going on?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:12:01] what happened?</p>
<p>Like what, and you know what, when, when everyone's upset or someone's upset, if you say it a certain way, like what happened? It doesn't, it's not accusatory. It's just like, well, shoot. I feel it, but like why? Yeah.</p>
<p>With that, that's my pretty little bow. what happened?. All right. Um, thank you everyone. Thank you for the beautiful philotimo and the baklava and all the ways. All the different layers.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:12:38] Thank you for the</p>
<p>pineapple,</p>
<p>Fawn.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:12:40] You're welcome. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[01:12:42] And the fish and chips,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:12:44] chips.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:12:47] You know what? There are some vegan fish and chips out there.</p>
<p>There are. Have you tried, have you in the UK, have you had the vegan. Fish sticks.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:12:57] I think I've seen a fair idea of the day now. I was looking [01:13:00] flicking through, um, uh, vegan cookbook, but we were a cafe me and my mum, and I think it was like, I think it was tofu wrapped in those, nor is it in a notary rose or something?</p>
<p>Nori that's it. Thank you. Yeah. So it gives it like the sea flavor, doesn't it. And then they put the batter around it oh, I'm really hungry. And</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:13:21] I'm starting to get hungry. Yeah. You know what I miss are those steak fries with vinegar and some salt, a little more vinegar on there. Ma'am wrapped up in newspaper.</p>
<p>Hm. You know what I'm talking about? Is that still happening over there?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:13:42] Yeah. That's like a prime dish isn't it, Beth?Yeah. That's British that is!.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:13:52] I'm really crazy hungry now. Okay. Okay. All right. Um, I love you guys. We'll see you in a few [01:14:00] days again. You know where to go? Our friendly world podcast.com. Everybody's information.</p>
<p>Is there all the links to Beth KJ Paul Katy, us, me and Matt, Matt and I  are there  thank you for listening everyone.  Take care, everyone. Bye-bye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This is an episode dedicated to our favorite word: PHYLOTIMO. Philotimo is an all encompassing concept that gives meaning to life that stretches well beyond ourselves, as that deep seated awareness in the heart that motivates the good that a person does. Philotimo  is a sense of duty to your fellow human being. It is about love and friendship. It's about giving and it's about honor. And when you break it down in Greek, Philo means friend timo means honor.
We talk about the geography of where Phylotimo was born in history and how that very same spot is paying it forward in modern times.
We ask individual questions from our expert friends at the table, like:
Of Matt we ask what tech or programs help us to be of service to our fellow human beings? We ask Paul to give us some meditation tools to provide us all with philotimo. We ask Katy how food can help us with phylotimo. Of Beth we ask for visualization tools to bring about this way of honor. I (Fawn) talks about communication and language in relation to phylotimo.  We tie the episode with KJ’s expertise and her wisdom of observation to teach us they ways in which we can encourage phylotimo.
 
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Here we go. Hello? Hello. Hello. I always forget to say you're here because obviously you're here with me. Hi Matt. Okay. So we are here with Matt cohart. We have Katy, Katy LoSasso. Hi Katy!. We have KJ KJ. Nasrul is here, everyone. And we have our beautiful Paul Martin Lotus. Hello everybody. So my favorite thing is filo dough.
Oh dear. I love it. It's it's probably one of the only things that I'll actually get, because I like to make everything from scratch and having dissected this word dissect. Having broken this word down that I'm about to say, I [00:01:00] was like, wow. It's I feel like Homer Simpson filo dough, because, okay. Okay. So the word today's subject is Philotimo and my beautiful Greek friends,
please, can you call me, I'm sure I'm mispronouncing it. philotimo philotimo Philo Timo phyllo, Timo. There is an island  it's the third largest island in Greece. It's called Lesvos.  I think it was around 1922 with all the strife that was happening; the Ottoman empire, everything was breaking down in that area.
You know, world war one was just, there was such devastation. So,  this group of people from they call it Asia minor,  went to this island Lesbos. And it's actually where Aristotle had been many, many, many, many, many years before. And the greatest inspiration  throughout history of all the [00:02:00] scholars and everything came from Aristotle.
And Aristotle's, apifany of this beautiful land, this beautiful island of Lesvos, everything originates from this place. So going back to the word, Philotimo  I'm telling you about this because these people sought refuge to this island and the island embraced them. And so the entire population pretty much that lives, there are direct descendants of the people that had to flee
asia minor. Yeah.  And they started their own culture, their own  beautiful life. And it's really interesting, pretty much, a hundred years later, they now are paying it forward because the people that live here and I think it's illegal, but they have been embracing the people that are fleeing Turkey that are running for their lives and their arms are open [00:03:00] much like the Island's arms were open to them a hundred years before. And they'll talk about this and they'll, they'll talk about filo Timo and what, what it is. Philotimo. Philotimo is an all encompassing concept that gives meaning to life that stretches well beyond ourselves, as that deep seated awareness in the heart that motivates the good that a person does.
A philotimos person is one who conceives and enacts eagerly those things good. That's the definition. Was that your own definition or did you find
Matt: [...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Roundtable.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:15:19</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Acceptance of Where You Are; Compassion, Community, Consciousness, Yoga Pants, and Being Popeye with Maya Breuer]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 18 Jul 2021 11:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/acceptance-of-where-you-are-compassion-community-consciousness-yoga-pants-and-being-popeye-with-maya-breuer</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/acceptance-of-where-you-are-compassion-community-consciousness-yoga-pants-and-being-popeye-with-maya-breuer</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>"There is geometry in the humming of the strings. There is music in the spacing of the spheres." - Pythagoras</strong></p>
<p>We are graced by the lovely Maya Breuer,  host of The Unity in Yoga podcast. She is, also the co-founder of the black yoga teachers Alliance, an Emeritus trustee of Kripalu and the creator of the yoga retreat for women of color.</p>
<p>Maya is a recipient of the YWCA's Women of Achievement Award. This our beautiful friend, is Maya Breuer. Maya Breuer continues to demonstrate commitment to educating the black and indigenous and people of color community B I P O C about health and wellbeing through yoga. She enthusiastically promotes equity and continues to influence the changing landscape of yoga.</p>
<p>We speak of acceptance of you who we are and where we are. And when you get grounded in that acceptance of self, it doesn't matter what anyone says. We get into how we’re reared in the United States to always compare ourselves and each other.</p>
<p>“ I love that I have self-acceptance. I mean, I can be neat. I can be sloppy. I can, I can be soft and gentle. I can cuss you out. You know, I live my life out loud and I think yoga gives, you know, contrary to what many people think, you know; yoga is gonna make you this, this quiet, sweet person. Yoga enables you to be who you really are. And then the more you practice, the more you delve into yoga, you let go of that thing, which I call comparison; comparing yourself with others. It's like, Oh, that's the model. I should look that way. And I'll never look that way. You know, looking at many of the models, although today there's models of every color and every shape and size, but I had to, you know, I had to accept myself and it was the yoga that really taught me how to accept myself. “</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Hall of Fame Quote from the episode:  </strong></p>
<p>-“I've learned by learning to love myself, I can love others.”</p>
<p>-“Breath combined with the movement helps move good and bad, some samskara and those are impressions. Yoga, breath, consciousness, awareness, relaxation; those are the tools we get to help us find ourselves; the true self.”</p>
<p>-“The more you develop that inner Popeye, that's connected to the divine, that's connected to your deep inner self, the more you can accept others, but the more you're free to have all of your  self available for life.”</p>
<p>-“Yoga is like a smart computer chip.  You simply inject like, you take it in and it can come through your skin, your tissues, all your breath. And then it goes to where it needs to go. If you need it in your hip, you need it in your belly, you need it in your chest area, and it’ll find its way there if you take up the practice. The same, if you have challenges with your health, with addiction, with dullness, yoga will help you. It's such a smart computer chip.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maya Breuer:</p>
<p><a href="https://www.yogaalliance.org/Membership_Benefits/Unity_in_Yoga">https://www.yogaalliance.org/Membership_Benefits/Unity_in_Yoga</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/maya-breuer-a002b65/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/maya-breuer-a002b65/</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.mayabreuer.com/">http://www.mayabreuer.com/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, here we go. Another  star struck moment for me, honestly. , Matt helped me out because I don't want to do what I normally do, which has profess my love.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:00:13] It's way too late.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:16] The whole episode will just be me saying how much I love this person. Okay. All right, here we go. Thank you. All right. We have a very beautiful guest today, someone I've been wanting to talk to for a very long time. She I'm going to tell you her name in a second. She is the vice president of cross cultural advancement for yoga Alliance. You all know I've been a yoga te...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA["There is geometry in the humming of the strings. There is music in the spacing of the spheres." - Pythagoras
We are graced by the lovely Maya Breuer,  host of The Unity in Yoga podcast. She is, also the co-founder of the black yoga teachers Alliance, an Emeritus trustee of Kripalu and the creator of the yoga retreat for women of color.
Maya is a recipient of the YWCA's Women of Achievement Award. This our beautiful friend, is Maya Breuer. Maya Breuer continues to demonstrate commitment to educating the black and indigenous and people of color community B I P O C about health and wellbeing through yoga. She enthusiastically promotes equity and continues to influence the changing landscape of yoga.
We speak of acceptance of you who we are and where we are. And when you get grounded in that acceptance of self, it doesn't matter what anyone says. We get into how we’re reared in the United States to always compare ourselves and each other.
“ I love that I have self-acceptance. I mean, I can be neat. I can be sloppy. I can, I can be soft and gentle. I can cuss you out. You know, I live my life out loud and I think yoga gives, you know, contrary to what many people think, you know; yoga is gonna make you this, this quiet, sweet person. Yoga enables you to be who you really are. And then the more you practice, the more you delve into yoga, you let go of that thing, which I call comparison; comparing yourself with others. It's like, Oh, that's the model. I should look that way. And I'll never look that way. You know, looking at many of the models, although today there's models of every color and every shape and size, but I had to, you know, I had to accept myself and it was the yoga that really taught me how to accept myself. “
 
Hall of Fame Quote from the episode:  
-“I've learned by learning to love myself, I can love others.”
-“Breath combined with the movement helps move good and bad, some samskara and those are impressions. Yoga, breath, consciousness, awareness, relaxation; those are the tools we get to help us find ourselves; the true self.”
-“The more you develop that inner Popeye, that's connected to the divine, that's connected to your deep inner self, the more you can accept others, but the more you're free to have all of your  self available for life.”
-“Yoga is like a smart computer chip.  You simply inject like, you take it in and it can come through your skin, your tissues, all your breath. And then it goes to where it needs to go. If you need it in your hip, you need it in your belly, you need it in your chest area, and it’ll find its way there if you take up the practice. The same, if you have challenges with your health, with addiction, with dullness, yoga will help you. It's such a smart computer chip.”
 
Maya Breuer:
https://www.yogaalliance.org/Membership_Benefits/Unity_in_Yoga
https://www.linkedin.com/in/maya-breuer-a002b65/
http://www.mayabreuer.com/
 
 
Transcript:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, here we go. Another  star struck moment for me, honestly. , Matt helped me out because I don't want to do what I normally do, which has profess my love.
Maya: [00:00:13] It's way too late.
Fawn: [00:00:16] The whole episode will just be me saying how much I love this person. Okay. All right, here we go. Thank you. All right. We have a very beautiful guest today, someone I've been wanting to talk to for a very long time. She I'm going to tell you her name in a second. She is the vice president of cross cultural advancement for yoga Alliance. You all know I've been a yoga te...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Acceptance of Where You Are; Compassion, Community, Consciousness, Yoga Pants, and Being Popeye with Maya Breuer]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>"There is geometry in the humming of the strings. There is music in the spacing of the spheres." - Pythagoras</strong></p>
<p>We are graced by the lovely Maya Breuer,  host of The Unity in Yoga podcast. She is, also the co-founder of the black yoga teachers Alliance, an Emeritus trustee of Kripalu and the creator of the yoga retreat for women of color.</p>
<p>Maya is a recipient of the YWCA's Women of Achievement Award. This our beautiful friend, is Maya Breuer. Maya Breuer continues to demonstrate commitment to educating the black and indigenous and people of color community B I P O C about health and wellbeing through yoga. She enthusiastically promotes equity and continues to influence the changing landscape of yoga.</p>
<p>We speak of acceptance of you who we are and where we are. And when you get grounded in that acceptance of self, it doesn't matter what anyone says. We get into how we’re reared in the United States to always compare ourselves and each other.</p>
<p>“ I love that I have self-acceptance. I mean, I can be neat. I can be sloppy. I can, I can be soft and gentle. I can cuss you out. You know, I live my life out loud and I think yoga gives, you know, contrary to what many people think, you know; yoga is gonna make you this, this quiet, sweet person. Yoga enables you to be who you really are. And then the more you practice, the more you delve into yoga, you let go of that thing, which I call comparison; comparing yourself with others. It's like, Oh, that's the model. I should look that way. And I'll never look that way. You know, looking at many of the models, although today there's models of every color and every shape and size, but I had to, you know, I had to accept myself and it was the yoga that really taught me how to accept myself. “</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Hall of Fame Quote from the episode:  </strong></p>
<p>-“I've learned by learning to love myself, I can love others.”</p>
<p>-“Breath combined with the movement helps move good and bad, some samskara and those are impressions. Yoga, breath, consciousness, awareness, relaxation; those are the tools we get to help us find ourselves; the true self.”</p>
<p>-“The more you develop that inner Popeye, that's connected to the divine, that's connected to your deep inner self, the more you can accept others, but the more you're free to have all of your  self available for life.”</p>
<p>-“Yoga is like a smart computer chip.  You simply inject like, you take it in and it can come through your skin, your tissues, all your breath. And then it goes to where it needs to go. If you need it in your hip, you need it in your belly, you need it in your chest area, and it’ll find its way there if you take up the practice. The same, if you have challenges with your health, with addiction, with dullness, yoga will help you. It's such a smart computer chip.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maya Breuer:</p>
<p><a href="https://www.yogaalliance.org/Membership_Benefits/Unity_in_Yoga">https://www.yogaalliance.org/Membership_Benefits/Unity_in_Yoga</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/maya-breuer-a002b65/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/maya-breuer-a002b65/</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.mayabreuer.com/">http://www.mayabreuer.com/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, here we go. Another  star struck moment for me, honestly. , Matt helped me out because I don't want to do what I normally do, which has profess my love.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:00:13] It's way too late.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:16] The whole episode will just be me saying how much I love this person. Okay. All right, here we go. Thank you. All right. We have a very beautiful guest today, someone I've been wanting to talk to for a very long time. She I'm going to tell you her name in a second. She is the vice president of cross cultural advancement for yoga Alliance. You all know I've been a yoga teacher for awhile. And I talk about that yoga Alliance is a big deal, big deal. She's the vice president of cross-cultural advancement.</p>
<p>She is the host of a great podcast called The Unity in Yoga podcast. She is, also the [00:01:00] co-founder of the black yoga teachers Alliance, an Emeritus trustee of Kripalu and the creator of the yoga retreat for women of color.</p>
<p>She's a recipient of the YWCA's Women of Achievement Award. This our beautiful friend, is Maya Breuer. Maya Breuer continues to demonstrate commitment to educating the black and indigenous and people of color community B I P O C about health and wellbeing through yoga. She enthusiastically promotes equity and continues to influence the changing landscape of yoga.</p>
<p> Those of you who've been listening to us know that I was pretty much disenchanted with the whole yoga community and yeah, and one of the only [00:02:00] times, one of the few times that Matt and I got into a major fight on air,  was because of the yoga community.  But as soon as I found out about Maya Breuer, I.</p>
<p>Burst into tears. I could not wait to talk to her because she is such a powerful and beautiful human being. And I cannot believe Matt, our great fortune in having Maya with us here today. So everyone friends out there, please help us to welcome Maya Breuer who is with us today. Maya, thank you for being here.</p>
<p>Thank you. And welcome to our kitchen.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:02:40] Oh, thank you. Thank you Fawn and thank you, Matt. It's been my pleasure to get to know you and to be here today, just to share thoughts with you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:51] Oh, I can't wait. So,  I told Maya how we usually start the show. I go on and on about nuggets of wisdom here and there. And so here [00:03:00] I go, here we go.</p>
<p>I have a few nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica in relation to what we're going to talk about today, which is community and friendship and yoga, everything that, all of that entails. And I want to start off with some quotes. Are you ready? All right.</p>
<p>The first quote is this. "Every living being is an engine geared to the wheel work of the universe. Though seemingly affected only by its immediate surroundings, the sphere of external influence extends to infinite distance." That is from Nikola Tesla, who by the way, was a major influence for me for all the  yoga classes that I was teaching, getting into quantum physics and science really it's all spiritual. It is mindblowing.</p>
<p>The second [00:04:00] quote is from Hippocrates and he says, "There is one common flow, one common breathing, all things are in sympathy." And the last one is actually from me from, from yesterday's podcast, we were talking about technology and community and how we're truly interconnected and how technology is changing human beings.</p>
<p> We were talking about businesses and social responsibility. And what I was talking about was, and when I talked about my classes was compassion. You can have love, but really compassion is the glue and it's the foundation. So here's my quote. Compassion has a life force. It is the foundation of love. Love doesn't last without compassion, care, concern, [00:05:00] or kindness. The ability to understand the emotional state of another and having the desire to help, that is compassion.</p>
<p>So you can be in love. You're going to even have love in your marriage, but it will disintegrate unless you have that glue, which is compassion for another human being. And so there we have it and the nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica is this. So in Santa Monica, a yoga studio popped up one day. It turns out that that is now like a major yoga chain that's happening.</p>
<p>And it was on the edge of our neighborhood. So I always talk about our little community that felt like, Italy, maybe 800 years ago, and this place in Los Angeles of all places to have a mentor, which is the city, actually the city of Santa Monica was my mentor; to have this kind of community, this kind [00:06:00] of friendship exist in a place like that was kind of mind blowing.</p>
<p>But in this tiny little tiny radius of our community, it felt like being in Italy 800 years ago, where we were all friends, we ate together, we played together. There were no isms. There was really no racism, no, age-ism no none of that ism happening, but on the outskirts of this neighborhood, this yoga studio popped up.</p>
<p>And so I started going and I experienced a lot of different things, but one day, this amazing Yogi showed up who was a very special guests from far away.  He was so funny. He was very strict and his yoga classes were really challenging.  One day  he started yelling at us about how it's interesting, how we clean our house for a guest to, to show up, or like how kids in college, clean up their rooms right [00:07:00] before the parents come for a visit.</p>
<p>But they're a mess every other day that you superficially clean up for the sake of a visitor. And he started to go in depth about how we should really be within ourselves, ready for a guest at any moment ,to truly be all geared up and all, you know, you have things set in place to love somebody to, to have someone come in to your space.</p>
<p>Anyway. So that's my nugget of wisdom right there . How would you have, how does that affect you? When I say that; to  be ready to have your home, whatever your home is, your spirit, your home ready? I keep wanting to say perfect. And I</p>
<p>paused,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:45] I, I take objections personally to the word ready. I mean, I just think you should have your home the way you want it.</p>
<p>Always. And if you're going to invite someone into your space, you're inviting them into your heart, into [00:08:00] your home, into your, and the, the sake of cleaning up or that it's a little silly, , because they they're coming to see you. And the house is a reflection of you because this is how you choose to live.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:12] But if you're a mess you're not able to,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:15] and that's just it, I prefer a much less cluttered kind of approach.</p>
<p>Do you?!</p>
<p>I do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:20] Oh my God. Seriously.</p>
<p>(Matt gasps dramatically and says "I'm offended." </p>
<p>Maya,  I'm always cleaning. I have, he says I have OCD,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:28] oh wait a second, hold on, hold on. I'm going to turn, I'm turning jar over here. Drive her crazy.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:31] The</p>
<p>kids, um, the kids and Matt will turn... stop!</p>
<p>I, I like things facing a certain way. I like things completely neat and tidy anyway. Um, Nugget of wisdom. There we go. Maya, thank you for being with us.   We're going to talk about community and of course, humanity. Let's just take it wherever it goes. Welcome Maya.  Thank you for</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:56] joining us,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:57] but like being so patient [00:09:00] as we meander around here and there.</p>
<p>Thank you for being here.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:09:05] My pleasure. You know, when I, I learned that I was going to be a guest on your podcast. I, first thing I did was look up friendship   because everyone has a different idea of what friendship is. And to me, friendship is that mutual relationship between people; can be one person can be several people and it's stronger than the bond of association.</p>
<p>And I like that because. You know, I've been, uh, I was been teaching. I was teaching yoga prior to my position atYoga Alliance and consulting, but I was creating community and I was creating friendships, you know, I mean, I didn't create them, but when I would bring people together, cause I started in my home and people would come, friendships would bloom out from that.</p>
<p>But the [00:10:00] idea of affection between people  started for me when I began to bring people into my home to practice yoga. And I was telling someone recently, you know, I don't have a lot. I have, I know thousands, thousands of people, but I don't have a lot of close friends, you know, cause to me, a friendship is really, it's really special.  And I think, these other things I find is terms to describe it, our affection and kindness and love and virtue and sympathy and empathy, and, uh, all truism and honesty. And you said compassion. So, you know, I don't find that everywhere, but I have that in a few places and I love that I am able to sit here and say that I love creating community whe re friendships grow out [00:11:00] of, and I love the friends that I have.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:03] I love what you just said. We, we normally will break down a word during an episode and really dissect it and get into the etymology of it and everything. But I love what you just said and honestly, yoga, the word yoga means union.</p>
<p>And that is community right there. That union is to me. Friendship is union, right? And you can't have family without friendship. You can't have a marriage without friendship. Much like compassion.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:11:37] Yes.</p>
<p>Well, you know, what's interesting in the Bhagavad Gita, um, I went to the Bhagavad Gita and looked up friendship and it said a man's own self is his friend.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:49] Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:11:50] And that really struck me because friendship really begins with the self. Just as yoga, the union that it speaks of is the [00:12:00] union of body, mind, and spirit or union with the self. And that's, um, you know, I think that was one of the ways I started to teach was to see people as Matt was saying, as they were, you know, some maybe were a little messy looking and some were prestine, but I, I was able to over time, open up to people and allow them to be who they were and come and be a part of my classes.</p>
<p>You know, I didn't look at, do you have Prana yoga clothes? And are you neat and tidy? Well, when I first started, I had to grow into this because I would judge people and that was many years ago. And I think through the practice, through the everyday-ness of yoga, I've learned acceptance. I've learned compassion.</p>
<p>I've learned by learning to love [00:13:00] myself, I can love others.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:03] Oh yes,</p>
<p>yes, absolutely. And also, honestly, I think everybody has the capacity, the potential to just amaze us if we let them, you know, I always talk about, I think everybody has at least one story that they can tell, which is just the funniest thing or the most interesting thing, but it gets further than that.</p>
<p>And the more comfortable a person becomes, the more they share and the more they connect more, you connect with them.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:13:29] Yes. And even if people don't ever become amazing, I'm still open. Do you know what I mean? Like, we live in a culture where everybody's gotta be the best and you know, that's always taught and I'm like, be you and I can accept you even if you are at whatever level you are. Right. Which I think is, is another way to have compassion. It's like, you're right about marriage and compassion, you know, [00:14:00] in friendship, you can't really be in a relationship unless specially living with someone that person's got to have a friendship with you, and you have to have compassion for them.</p>
<p>Because as you both know, being married, you have to accept a lot of stuff about the other person that you can't change. You know, it's like, well, he, you know, my husband, he did it this morning. He, um, he takes his shoes off and then he comes to me and he looks at me and he says, Where are my shoes? How would I know?</p>
<p>And then he looks at me as if I've moved them, you know, or I did something and then he'll he does. I mean, he does this over and over and then he'll find them. You know, when I said to him, one day, I said, you know, you should apologize to me for all of the looks you've given me. Like, these accusatory looks like I moved your cheese. I moved your shoes. You know, [00:15:00] he did it this morning. It was, I was just laughing to myself, you know?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:04] Matt does it to me all the time. He accuse me of moving stuff in the kitchen.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:08] Fortunately. I'm perfect.</p>
<p>Oh, my God,</p>
<p>she doesn't have to put up with anything. I am brilliant.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:15] Love is winning. Love is winning.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:17] That's what we say</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:19] when we getting into a fight ,someone has to shout out. Love is winning.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:15:23] Oh, that's a good thing.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:25] Or we have to tap.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:26] Matt always accuses me of rearranging the kitchen.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:30] Oh my Lord. Oh</p>
<p>my goodness. Absolutely. She does. Here we</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:33] go. Here we go. I am the one who's doing the majority of the cooking. Now the girls are too, because they're amazing chefs.</p>
<p>Thank you. But honey. Well, the, the problem is also, Matt is so much taller than I am. Uh, he's like a good three feet taller than that. No, no, he's super tall. So when I'm looking at something, he can't see what I'm seeing. I'm like it's right in front of you. He is right in front of you, [00:16:00] but he, you know, in front of him is some other thing.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:16:03] I understand completely.</p>
<p>But all of this validates how important friendship is, particularly when you're spending your life with someone.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:14] Absolutely. And the, when, when you were talking, I'm sorry, I interrupted. I'm sorry. Go ahead.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:16:20] No, that's all I was going to say.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:23] Well, one of the other words that stuck, that struck me when you were talking was acceptance and that, that is key.</p>
<p>And self-acceptance because when you accept everything that you yourself are. When you come across mean people or people that want to just tear you down when, you have that, self-acceptance it makes things, it makes life so much easier. But like, I remember being in yoga classes when I was much, much younger, I always wanted, and I still do.</p>
<p>I always want to be in the back of the room because I don't want anyone judging [00:17:00] me. And, and then I get so upset when the teacher spins the whole class around. So the people in the back are the leaders. I hate that, but I don't want anyone looking at my butt I don't want people. I don't want, no, thank you.</p>
<p>I...No! But when you have that, self-acceptance, you're able to understand other people better or you're able to not get so heated when something comes your way. Because you accept yourself,</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:17:28] also able not to give any, you know, like with anybody thinks about my, butt you know, I really don't. And I remember a friend of mine said to me, he said, you have a screaming behind, you know, I have a, butt I'm telling you, I'm not like I accept that acceptance is so important.</p>
<p>I grew into accepting me and, you know, yoga teaches acceptance. It's [00:18:00] acceptance of you where you are. And when you get grounded in that acceptance of self, it doesn't matter what anyone says. When I was first teaching yoga, people would make fun of me. I started teaching in the eighties and my friends would be like, here she comes with the yogurt. Here she  you know, they always had something funny to say, and they all became my students over time,  through the years, one by one, they'd come and try a class. But I love that I have self-acceptance. I mean, I can be neat. I can be sloppy. I can, I can be soft and gentle. I can cuss you out. You know, I live my life out loud and I think yoga gives, you know, contrary to what many people think, you know, yoga is gonna make you this, this quiet, sweet person. Yoga enables you to be who you really are.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:58] Thank you. I am [00:19:00] a T-Rex by the way. And it took me. Yeah,</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:19:04] I know what that means.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:06] Oh, I'll explain it. It's it's just that, um, I, one of the things I learned as I was practicing yoga before I was a teacher, and even when I finally became a teacher, I was still kind of struggling with this.</p>
<p>I couldn't do a lot of the moves that other people did. And one day I finally came into that self-acceptance  once I realized, you know, what my body is beautiful and my body is not now in this American culture of the Caucasian yoga, um, these beautiful statuesque model blonde women that are doing yoga.</p>
<p> I couldn't do the practice, the flow, the way they were doing the flow, because my body is so radically [00:20:00] different. And so I say, I have T-Rex arms because like to go from downward dog to putting, stepping one foot through your arms, I can't do that because my arms are way shorter than I am there. The proportion is not the same as someone else's proportion.</p>
<p>So I need a block. To do it fluidly, you know, and I felt such shame in that. I felt shame. I was ashamed of myself.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:20:28] You will let go with that if you're still carrying that, that right now.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:33] For sure. But it, it took me really going through that pain and getting so, um, being so hard on myself, like why can't I fit in with the rest of society that can do this one move so perfectly?</p>
<p>Why, why am I not successful? And this and that. And once all of a sudden, um, I think once I experienced enough pain and resentment for my own self [00:21:00] and like shame, I'm like, what am I doing? No, I think it took me going to a Rolfing and being Rolfed by these major Rolfing teachers who had to reteach me how to walk properly, because I was so screwed up from all the, from this one particular school of yoga, I was in, it really screwed my body up actually. Um, they had to reconfigure everything and reteach me how to walk. And all of a sudden I realized, and they taught me too, that every body is different and you have to honor that and you have to move with that. So just because someone tells you life should be this way, it's not for you.</p>
<p>It's, that's not your way. And this is the way here going to move with respect and integrity for your own wellbeing. And then therefore you can also take care of someone else's wellbeing. Am I  [00:22:00] digressing?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:00] No, absolutely. Sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:22:01] No, not, not at all, you know, but that is the truth. You have to find yourself, you know, and sometimes finding oneself in the practice of yoga is  realizing that you cannot do that. Realize. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. And then the more you practice, the more you delve into yoga, you let go of that thing, which I call or everyone calls, comparison; comparing yourself with others. And that's how we're we reared in this country.</p>
<p>It's like, Oh, that's the model. I should look that way. And I'll never look that way. You know, looking at many of the models, although today there's models of every color and every shape and size, but I had to, you know, I had to  accept myself and it was the yoga that really taught me how to accept myself.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:59] Do you mind [00:23:00] Maya,  if I ask you how you started like going from the very beginning and getting into what, what Matt was bringing up yesterday when we were talking on the phone, the spirituality of yoga, the spirituality in general in life. But I want to talk about that and I want to talk about how you started. How did you get involved with yoga</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:23:21] Sure.</p>
<p> Well, the first time I went to a yoga class, I had three small children and that was in the seventies and I went to the first Unitarian church. I loved it. I felt like, Oh, I have found something that, that really makes me feel good. And I was bubbly and just was full of joy.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:44] Can I ask you what that class was like?</p>
<p>Like what happened in there?</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:23:48] Well, it was in a church which was very sacred, but the thing that struck me and I'm going to repeat this was, uh, bhujangasana or the Cobra. And it was that [00:24:00] pressing down and opening my heart that shifted something. However, that first class I did not get back to a class probably for 10 years, I went to this class, knew I was going to do yoga.</p>
<p>And it seemed like everything that could happen happened along with my family, with my children. So I, I was having a little health issues, and a friend of mine who was sort of being sarcastic, she said, Oh, you should go to that yoga place, "cripple lou" she called it cripple lou. And to look it, that's what she called it.</p>
<p>I went, I went and, I figured out how to go for a weekend. I went into my first class. I'm doing yoga. We go into that posture. Bhujangasana something happened. I mean, and I was a real novice, you know, that was probably the only posture that I really, I felt so [00:25:00] good in it that I remembered it.</p>
<p>And that started me on the path of yoga. As soon as I went home and I could not get enough of the theory, the philosophy and the practice. Cause you know, when you're younger, like all I could do was Asana I was like, Oh yes, I can stand on my head. I can, you know, steer, I can do a wall stand, I could do everything.</p>
<p>And then I kept going, kept going to Kripalu. And at that time they had many opportunities to volunteer, so I didn't have to pay. I would volunteer to wash windows, clean doors, uh, cut up vegetables and then I'd be there for a week. I'd be there a weekend. You know, I kept doing that. And um, that was just my beginning.</p>
<p>And before I knew what I was studying to become a teacher. [00:26:00] And  then I was, I was at Kripalu and I saw a sign. It said they would go, people were going to India. And I thought, I remember walking by and thinking, Oh, I want to go. And I went on with my day and I was doing something and one of the head teachers came to me and said, we'd like to invite you to go to India with us.</p>
<p>And I was like, hallelujah. Wow. And so it was a three month journey. And so, um, but everything fell into place. All I had to do was raise money. And so I had an art show with all the things I had created. My friends came, brought my art. I, uh, I was able to get enough money to cover my mortgage for three months.</p>
<p>And to take money with me and [00:27:00] pay for my, Oh no, I didn't have my ticket. That's right. So I was in a group like a counseling group at the time. And I mentioned to these people, I'm going to go to India. And, um, you know, I was just saying it. I wasn't trying to raise money. I was just telling them. So a day later I get a call from a man's accountant and he says, um, is this Maya? I said, yes.</p>
<p>He said, um, I'm calling from Mo blanks office. And he would like to support your journey to India. What do you need? And, you know, so I got the airfare, roundtrip, airfare covered. I had money to take with me and I covered all of my expenses and, and bills. So I think I was supposed to go.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:53] Well, we, we, we often talk about, you know, when you put something out to the universe, you know, it's like, what do you choose to focus [00:28:00] on?</p>
<p>What do you choose to put out to the universe? If you put out, wow, my life sucks and you know, this is bad and that's bad. Guess what's going to come back to you, but you put out to the universe, this is what I want. This is what I want to do. And these are the things and you even vocalized it to people. So, you know, unless you ask, you know, Wayne Gretzky says you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take.</p>
<p>If you don't ask, if you don't put it out there, it's not going to happen.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:28:25] Yes, indeed. So my journey in, I was in, I went to India. It is just an extraordinary place. And I'll just say,  a silent moment for what India is going through now. Um, and it's really, really difficult. And I send my love and compassion to India.</p>
<p>In this moment.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:47] I hold them. We hold them in perfect health and wellbeing.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:28:51] Yes, but the journey to India just reinforced my understanding of my awareness [00:29:00] of the philosophy of yoga, because, you know, I was in the United States and the main focus at Kripalu even was it was lifestyle, but it was also Asana practice.</p>
<p>And, you know, being in India, we did a lot of study of the eight limbs of yoga and study of the, Upanishads  and study of the Bhagavad Gita and I, I was in heaven, you know, I studied and one of the questions I asked of a teacher, I said, what can I do to help people like me at home who suffer from racism and  poor health, uh, to health disparities and, uh, uh, disproportionately low income, et cetera. And she said, teach the breath. And she did her head. She said, teach the breadth Maya, teach the breath. [00:30:00] And, and I did, you know, I did. I, um,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:05] can you elaborate? Because I need someone that right now,</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:30:09] well, you know, I taught how to be calm, how to relax.</p>
<p>Like that was my first offerings were on relaxation and with relaxation, I taught the pranayama or breathing, so I didn't come in gang busted with yoga Asana. I taught how to relax and I had people come. You know, and, and then I was able to introduce them to yoga. You know, I would offer classes at 6:00 AM so people going to work could come. Then when I tried to get, I still didn't have many people of color coming to classes. So I started offering little like Saturday morning retreats where you'd have like breakfast [00:31:00] and have relaxation and that filled up, you know? And then I started offering, you know, um, I went to the public library and I rented, no, they didn't charge me anything.</p>
<p>I use this space just to offer lectures on yoga and people would come. And it, I knew I was in the right on the right path because everything I did worked. And that's what kept me going for many, many years. I sat there at home and I'm like, I need to make more money. What should I do? So I set up a consulting company and I went around and lectured at, at hospitals and, associations, uh, handicapped groups.</p>
<p> I taught the blind. I taught the deaf. First I would contact the organization and go in and do a lecture on the benefits of this. But remember, this is me [00:32:00] being an entrepreneur, you know, I was just like, I gotta make some money. So let me try this, let me try that. And I was being guided, by spirit, you know, like I wouldn't do anything that didn't feel good to me that I didn't feel benefited people.</p>
<p>And that like, when I would leave. Like say I'm at Miriam hospital is where I did a lot of teaching in Rhode Island. When I would leave there, I would feel like, Ooh, that was great. I feel good. So I knew I was on the right path, you know, and then, you know, you put yourself out there enough and then your phone starts to ring.</p>
<p>And then I didn't have to look for work. I had work coming to me or opportunities coming to me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:45] Wow. That right there. I'm going to be listening to that over and over again on repeat</p>
<p>on repeat, I'm going to go back and listen to this episode and like repeat [00:33:00] that whole section that you just said that is changing me and giving me so</p>
<p>much hope.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:07] So it really felt like even from the beginning, you wanted to build community, you wanted to first, it was connecting with the, you know, existing school and, and realizing that you could get classes by helping out by becoming more part of the community.</p>
<p>And then the community welcomed you and said, Hey, come to India with us. And then even coming back from India, it's all about it ;it seems like it's all about building community for you.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:33:34] It was, you know, I would, I would go to the annual yoga teachers association, big gathering in different parts of the country.</p>
<p>I would do yoga journal conferences. I mean everything. And I would never see my people. I'd never seen BIPOC community members and that lit a  fire under me to -  okay. What is this all about? [00:34:00] This yoga helped me and my family deal with hypertension, stroke. Um, one of my close friend was very depressed and I, I saw this yoga help people.</p>
<p>So then it became my mission to really do, like, get out here and introduce this to people of color, to indigenous people. So I was everywhere in Rhode Island we have a strong indigenous, native American community. So I found them and went to it's in the Southern part of an Island, went down there to offer lectures.</p>
<p>And then I would, I went, I did the round of Baptist churches and even my own church, which was not that keen on yoga. I gave lectures. I was just; I was busy and it feels like, you know, I've been busy for years, but it's not [00:35:00] been like tiring or exhausting. I get replenished from what I do,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:06] right. Yeah, no, that's exactly what I was.</p>
<p>You stole my thunder. I was going to say that. No, that's totally. But, uh, uh, yeah, it's one of these things that, uh, certainly community building is one of those things I think that really helps as far as seeing people going to people, expressing with people. And it's one of my  core beliefs that friendship grows from shared interests and shared experiences.</p>
<p>Wow. And a yoga experience is exactly that it's both of those rolled into</p>
<p>one.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:35:36] And then when people see that they're getting results, like they come with terrible back pain or, you know, um, One of my, one of my clients had lost a child and couldn't speak. And, you know, I mean, literally she had lost her voice, went with it and we did, uh, Matsyasana the [00:36:00] fish.</p>
<p>She happened to be a private student. And after a few sessions, I did other things with her, but I always incorporated deep relaxation and her voice came back now right away. But, you know, say within eight weeks she was able to make sound. And, you know, I saw all of these miracles. I had a man call me. He said, Oh, he says, I'm stuck.</p>
<p>That's what he says to me. I'm stuck. I live in Boston and I work so far away. I'm afraid to move to Boston. So I said, okay, well, um, private students would come to me. So I made like an  early evening appointment with him. And he comes to my front door and he was a smaller person. I don't think he was a dwarf, but he was small.</p>
<p>And he was like rigid, totally rigid. And he walks in my [00:37:00] house sort of like robot, like, and I looked at him and I said, you are stuck aren't you? And we both fell out laughing. And I worked with him with not only flexibility of his spine. He had a rod in his spine, but I just taught him breathing. Like I used to image, I would get in front of people who couldn't have the kind of flexibility I hoped for them.</p>
<p>And I would do the posture and say, you know, breathe it in, breathing in. And so I would do that spinal flection work in front of him. And then I would do the, how does body move the way it could move. And the last time I heard from him, he had moved to Boston and he had friends and one of the things he told me is he had, didn't have friends and he was an accountant and he went to work and I'll talk about rigidity.</p>
<p>That's a pretty rigid [00:38:00] business. And then he is, he's rigid in his stance and posture, you know, but I mean, I've had so many amazing experiences teaching yoga because one of the things that happened is over the years, as I was trying to make a living, I became a consultant. And then I got people referred to me for private yoga.</p>
<p>So now I'm really making money. You know, I might have five private students a week.  I set a pay range. I had a document that showed all my rates, so I didn't have to negotiate. I would say, Oh, here's my rate. You know, it made my life so much easier, but I had a great many private students through the years who had issues either with mental health or physical health.</p>
<p>And many times I'd get someone who had mental health issues. And I would be really [00:39:00] clear. This is beyond my scope. You know, I don't know how to address this. And so that caused me to get together a resource list. So I would provide resources to people like chiropractors and,  who, whatever they needed.</p>
<p>So I did this research and just had this little compendium of information I would share.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:23] Right. Right. I get it. And my wife always talks about, and I think everybody, at this point in time, I think kind of agrees that people hold different energies in different parts of their body. This is why a massage can be so healthy, you know, loosen up my back and, and, um,</p>
<p>yeah.</p>
<p>And things get stored in the body. Like we always talk about the ethereal world. You know, we talk about how thoughts create things right out of the ether you can create material. And the other way is with yoga, for anyone who's [00:40:00] listening, who is not into yoga there are things that get stored in your body that you never would suspect can be transformed by moving your body a certain way.</p>
<p>It could be the simplest move combined with breath. So for example, if you're having money problems, there are certain moves around your lower half of the body that will transform your financial life. Like it's all connected. Yeah, that is</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:40:30] so, so interesting. I don't know that, but I believe you because I've seen, I mean with money, but I know that the breath combined with the movement helps move good and bad, some samskara and those are impressions and it could be the impression of being the biggest jerk in the world.</p>
<p>You live that you walk that you act like that. And then, you know, you have a hunchback and you [00:41:00] have a hip out of order. And when you begin to awaken to your true self, you're able to release that samskara and that's what you're referring to that comes from the ethos, comes from energy or comes from a direct blow or abuse.</p>
<p>Or, you know, being confused in your mind and thinking you're the savior of your family and doing all the work and then you have to wake up. It's like, well, I've got hips out of disorder. I've got a lump on my head, you know?  But yoga, breath, consciousness, awareness, relaxation. Those are the tools we get to help us find ourselves; the true self.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:44] And there you go. And then they do say that the first step in solving any issue is admitting that you have, you know, you have the problem discovering the problem exists. So I can't move my arm this way. Well, okay. Let's see what we can do about</p>
<p>that.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:41:57] Okay. Right. But you have to admit, you can't move your [00:42:00] arm,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:00] but there you go.</p>
<p>You, you, you have to, you have to gain that level of comfort. That level of, I dunno, Popeye- ness is something I like to call it, which is just kind of that acceptance of who you are and where you are. Did</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:42:12] you say popeye-ness?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:13] Yes, because Papeye yam what I am!</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:42:17] I knew what you meant. I just want you to expound</p>
<p>on it a little.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:21] It's something I bring up fairly frequently. It's kind of one of those things I hold on to because yeah, I, I, I like to, sometimes I forget about my inner Popeye, but I really try and hold him close. And really, you know, this is, this is who I am. This is how I walk through life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:42:36] The more you, develop that inner Popeye, that's connected to the divine, that's connected to your deep inner self, the more you can accept others, but the more you're free to have all of your  self available for life.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:55] Yes, yes, </p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:42:56] so you can be, you could be mean-spirited, you can be [00:43:00] joyful. You can be conscious, you can be sweet to people, but you have the option of being all of those things.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:07] So true. Yes. Can I, can I veer  back to breath again? Do you mind? Okay, so when I was studying, I was, um, when I went back to yoga because I did take a break, I went back to yoga and I had to start all over again. I felt broken completely because we experienced a lot of trauma as a family. And I just saw some things and I was broken physically and mentally. And so when I started the yoga again, I started to feel better and I started to research again, and I started to really look into the spirituality and the metaphysical side, as well as the science of it, all of it. And I started to ask questions of [00:44:00] the teachers that I was studying with. My question was, can you please explain to me what it is about yoga, what it is about doing movements that actually has, I've seen heal people of cancer, like healed. I don't want to get in trouble with the, what does the government that steps, whatever, but people have attested to the fact that pursuing yoga, doing yoga, doing the practice has helped them overcome so many diseases, challenges, whatever. And my question was, what is it specifically that's making this happen?</p>
<p>And they couldn't answer me, but. And Maya, when I want to know your take, but I'll, I'll just quickly take this time to express my take on it is. And the reason why I'm so in love with these mystics and scientists like Nikola, Tesla, and Einstein, and [00:45:00] you know, all these amazing people, um, even the recent scientists, uh, the Gregg Braydens and the Dr. Joe, Dispenza's where they're teaching yoga, but they're doing it scientifically. And they're bringing in scientists with their machines that while you're meditating , they're scanning your heart, your brain, they're scanning the room. There's the heart math Institute that's scanning the whole planet and realizing, wow, isn't it interesting that before a major catastrophe, the mass consciousness picks up on something.</p>
<p>So they have charts where the vibration goes up and down and like something was happening before nine 11 happened, like mass consciousness picked up on it, you know, before things happen. So it shows how truly connected we are. And it shows how like, electricity, like, like electricity. We are. We are that we are energy.</p>
<p>We are light and Nicola Tesla [00:46:00] talked about this all the time. You know, of course, with electricity in light that we are that. And so what, the way, when I was listening to a Dr. Joe Dispenza, talk about how, if we break things down and microscopically, like look at cells. And if we keep breaking things down more and more, Bruce Lipton also talks about this, that there is nothing but space that, you know, the chair is not really concrete.</p>
<p>It's not, you there's space. You can move through a chair, you can move through a wall that it's all energy and it's not, it's not completely solid. So I think the reason why yoga is so beneficial and so accurate and its way of healing is because it comes back to breath. And breath it has to do with the nothingness.</p>
<p>You know, giving space to something. And in that space of nothingness is where [00:47:00] possibility is. Like ultimate anything is possible within that breath. And I was listening to your podcast,  especially with Rose Weaver and Bryant  Rollins.  It's interesting how they were speaking of  the social issues and breathing and the whole concept of, you know, I can't breathe and just the, the racial strife that we're all going through and also having now this disease that affects the lungs that I, when I was a kid, I was taught that the lungs were, directly related to emotions.</p>
<p>So like, if you look at smokers, They, they light up right when they experience a thought that's really charged for them that they don't want to feel because nicotine numbs the lungs. [00:48:00] And so if you look at smokers, they always light up when there's an issue, they don't want to deal with they're there.</p>
<p>Something comes up emotionally. And so it's interesting that we have this COVID virus, this COVID, and it affects the lungs worldwide. And as soon as the pandemic began, I started to think, well, what is the real reason for this disease? What is at the root of it? And I thought it's interesting that they're saying it has to do with the lungs and to me, that's emotion.</p>
<p>And I just feel like the whole world has reached a level of such hardship emotionally. Things that we have not been talking about things that we have been ignoring. We've been ignoring others. There's been so much pain. It just makes sense that now it's transformed and manifested into this pandemic. And also the whole issue of racism of I can't breathe.</p>
<p>[00:49:00] And</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:49:01] I go back to the beginning.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:03] Yes, please.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:49:03] In your beginning comment, you said, um, you know, how do people get healed from yoga? Um, how do we like yoga is a science. So I'm going to say yes. Yoga is a science. Yoga is also Shruti, which is divine knowledge and the sages when it was first created from the divine.</p>
<p>I say divine, because some people don't like the God word I'll say it, but when, when it was. Given to the sages. It was like from mouth to ear. That's what Upanishad  means. It went from mouth to ear. They were sitting and they were receiving this divine knowledge through meditation. And this was over time.</p>
<p>Suddenly they realized how difficult it was to sit. [00:50:00] If you've ever done seated meditation, you're going to sit for a week, two weeks. It's hard. Your body reacts. What came from this divine knowledge was the theories, the applications, all of the different aspects of yoga, but not Asana. Yoga was originally more theoretical and philosophical .</p>
<p> There's a gentleman who created Asana and the Asana was developed or created based on nature. You know?  I think there are 84,000 yoga postures, and they cover  the elements, the animals, the movement, and a long with that in that divine knowledge was truti, the truti but the breadth was offered as a tool, and there are many breathing practices and yoga [00:51:00] is a science. So it's now we're waking up, to study it and look at the scientific applications toward illness. So you see people who,  may not be healed from cancer, but their lives are a lot different and they live differently and, and are able to live longer.</p>
<p>And there may be others who are healed from cancer. You know, I, I think it's, you know, it happens.  It comes in and I used to teach people, yoga is like a smart computer chip.  You simply inject like, you take it in and it can come through your skin, your tissues, your all your breath. And then it goes to where it needs to go.</p>
<p>If you need it in your hip, you need it in  your belly, you need it in your chest area, it'll find its way there if you take up the practice. The same, if you have challenges  [00:52:00] with your health, with addiction, with, um, You know, I was going to say, dullness of yoga will help you.</p>
<p> It's such a smart computer chip. And I say smart computer chip. I've been saying this for many, many years, cause my daughter  is a mechanical engineer. So I knew about computer chips before it was very popular. So I've been teaching this for a long time. Well, you're,  say</p>
<p>that again.</p>
<p>Go ahead. I'm sorry. I I'm, I'm saying that you're talking Matt speak here, you know Matt?</p>
<p>Well, but, but the thing is  it's divine knowledge. It was given to sages who sat to receive the knowledge and then over time it transformed into physical postures, but the postures did not come first.</p>
<p>What came first was the divine knowledge [00:53:00] and within that were  the breathing practices or just concepts about breath that at some point Patañjali comes along. And we don't know if he existed, if he was really a, a being or an energy, but he codeafide all of it to put it together so that it could be passed down for the many generations that it's been passed down through.</p>
<p> It comes directly from the divine and it's for everyone. one of the things I learned a long time ago that there is a fragrance, yoga has a fragrance, and I can't tell you it's vanilla lavender or whatever, but when you get that fragrance, when you connect to it, then change happens. And a person like my grandfather and we, I didn't know about yoga. Neither did he, but I know my grandfather had the fragrance because his physical [00:54:00] body was, you know, he, he just could do things. He was a golfer,  he did so many things as he aged. And now that I know what I know about yoga, I know he got the fragrance.  You don't have to go to a formal class.</p>
<p>You don't have to be educated by a formal yoga teacher. You can just be walking along. It's for everyone. And you may never say that word, the word yoga, but yet your life has been  infused with it. You know what I mean? That's why you see some people like my God, they have nothing or they're, they're doing so well or they live well.</p>
<p>So. They got, they've been, they've got the fragrance within them and it begins to work. And I may not do a headstand. I may not know downward dog, but I know how to care for my body. I know how to care for my soul. I know [00:55:00] how to rest. There you have it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:04] Oh my goodness. I love you so much. That's amazing. I'm going to be quiet.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:11] Are you ready for</p>
<p>mass? Take on everything she just said.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:55:15] I'm sorry. No, no, no.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:17] Yoga equals yoga equals truth. Is it the grand truth? Is it a truth? Is it doesn't matter? You know, and when you say yoga has a smell, I would say it's connecting to the census. It's connecting to more than just what you see and what you hear.</p>
<p>And for you, I'm guessing there's a very strong smell component, which is interesting because smell is, and you know, the smell really.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:55:43] I couldn't describe the smell to you, but it's something that it's just within me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:49] Right. Exactly. Exactly. And</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:55:52] I was lucky enough to go to a yoga class, but then when I was studying and I learned there's a fragrance, that's out here for [00:56:00] everybody.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:00] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:56:01] And some will get it and some will get it late in life or early in life, but Oh, Um, I'm going to take care of myself, but it comes to how do I take care of my body, mind and spirit? How can I be authentic? How can I have acceptance of self acceptance of others? How can I stop judging? And, and, you know, like I wake up some days and I think, wow, I really don't judge.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't judge people. I, and I'm like, I'm so happy. Um, I'm not happy every moment, but I'm happy that I have this awareness, this knowledge that I can, um, that I've spent the last 30 plus years doing,  what so deeply moved me. And that was the yoga. And I mean, I, that's what I'd done.</p>
<p>Of course I'm an artist, you know what I mean? I do [00:57:00] music, but those have all been like my, um, loves. Do you know what I mean? Like I love doing this. It supports me, but yoga has been my thing.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:15] Did you want to add anything?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:16] Stick a pin in this episode?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:18] No, no. I want to keep going. I w okay. So can we just squeeze in some other stuff before, before we put a pretty little bow on it? Do you mind Maya? If we get back to the whole, um, okay. Can I start with another nugget really quick? And then we'll wrap it up.</p>
<p>Another nugget from Santa Monica. So on the outskirts on the border where this yoga studio popped up, , it was weird because I would go and I just want it to be in the back. I didn't want people to see me and. These. And I was the only dark person in there by the way, which was weird because in our little community we had everybody, but [00:58:00] then once again, like the outskirts on the border of our community and this yoga studio, it was very white.</p>
<p>And I put down my yoga mat and this woman shows up, you know, typical, like very tall blonde, you know, a certain physique. And she looks at me like she's smelling poop. And she's like, that's my spot. I'm like, well, do we have assigned seating here? She's like, that's my spot. And it's weird because deep down that was my spot because I wanted to hide in the class all the time.</p>
<p>And I like, so I moved over, but I felt so I wanted to cry because I felt rage. I felt that whole thing that I have felt all my life, that kind of racism thing, where you're obviously feeling like you're better than I [00:59:00] am, and I'm here to clean your house, you think, or whatever, whatever they assume about me.</p>
<p>Right? Whatever their prejudice is at the moment. I tend to be that, like, I have a certain look, you can't tell if I'm from India, you can't tell if I'm Mexican, you can't tell you can't tell where I'm from, but if you hold a certain prejudice, for sure, I meet all the criteria of what you think I am. Do you know what I mean?</p>
<p>So if you hate Mexicans, I'm Mexican to you. You know what I mean? So, so I moved over, but so that was like, that's a nugget of wisdom right there. It's like fighting, claiming space  that may not belong to you. And what does truly belong to us? You know, do you own land? Is it, is it your right to buy land and say, this is my land, you know, it's the earth.</p>
<p>How could you parcel it up like that?</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[00:59:58] How can you that [01:00:00] that's what happens. I mean, we live in a culture where capitalism is King and,  people do make claims to things and, you know, the isms that exist, you know, that's, what's challenging. And I think that, um, no first I'm sorry that you had that</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:21] experience.</p>
<p>I had many, many, many, and becoming a teacher too.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[01:00:26] Sorry about that. You had to go through that, but it's something that, um, the world is going through, which is waking up  to the challenges that have been brought against the BIPOC community by those  who feel superior or maybe in a superior position through no effort or of their own, but just because of the way things are.</p>
<p>And I think this is, uh, another conversation [01:01:00] because, uh, you know, I, I think that there is a lot to be said about the, what has existed in the yoga landscape and how it is beginning to change; how the tide is turning. And there are now people who look like me and you who teach yoga. There's people like me working with the major, one of the major yoga organizations, The Yoga Alliance there, you know, there are so many ways that things are beginning to change and it's none of it's done.</p>
<p>We're not there yet. But I'd be happy to, to join you in, in a conversation about that, you know, the isms in yoga. And as you know, each of my guests, like with the Rose Weaver and Bryant Rollins, you know, they have their own thing that they do, but the isms have impacted [01:02:00] their lives. So we have to talk about that as well as their gifts, as an editor and a writer and gift Rose as an actress and a singer, you know?</p>
<p>So I thank you for bringing that up and I just look forward to being able to come back again and, , share with you,  my take on what's happening in yoga and the isms. And, um, there's a saying that I got from Bryant Rollins and he said, it's a Rumi quote, "Out, beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world would be too full to talk." And I just, I love that because it's like where we're going.  We'll be able to meet each other in a new [01:03:00] place  with a new consciousness about,  sexism, racism, homophobia, and all of the different gender differences.</p>
<p>We've got to wake up and start to embrace one another, as we said in community, we have to be in community so we can thrive and keep on doing</p>
<p>yoga.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:24] Okay. So let's do a whole other episode together. We'll schedule it. When we get off this session, . And we'll talk about the isms and yoga.</p>
<p> Before we go, before we go, I wanted to ask you because as soon as I saw you,   I started crying and I wanted to run to you  I wanted to put my head on your chest and cry to you as soon as I saw your face. And I saw you, uh, the yoga Alliance.  It was around the time I signed up because I became a certified teacher [01:04:00] and I saw you and I saw your title and I wanted to run to you like a child that has been hurt running to someone wise to say, Oh, I'm crying to you telling you what.</p>
<p>What, how I got wounded, like I skinned my knee, help.. Um, so I really wanted to talk to you about my experiences and I want to talk to all of our friends out there about these experiences. I think it's really important to talk about. And before we go, can you please tell all of our friends what the yoga Alliance is and how did you get involved with the yoga Alliance?</p>
<p>And then we'll wrap up the show and then we'll come back and talk to each other. Again,</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[01:04:41] I'll tell you I was involved when the yoga Alliance was formed because it was developed many years ago and I happened to be  with a group of people who talked about The Yoga Alliance  before it was The Yoga Alliance at Kripalu.</p>
<p>And then it [01:05:00] grew out, it wasn't a Kripalu project, but many of us teachers there felt that we needed an organization to represent us so that we could connect with and The Yoga Alliance formed. So I've been a member since its inception. And, I was brought in to consult with The Yoga Alliance on some new things they wanted to do around equity and the isms and cross cultural advancement and international programming.</p>
<p>So that consultancy led to conversations. And here I am.</p>
<p> The Yoga Alliance is a membership, a member organization. They provide credentialing and registration of schools. So if, if you finish a yoga teacher training course, you can contact The Yoga Alliance to become a registered yoga teacher. If you want to train teachers, [01:06:00] you register your school with Yoga Alliance. And this is based on standards that have been developed by not only The Yoga  Alliance, but the community, because we have through the years developed and modified standards, code of ethics, et cetera, to support yoga teachers and yoga schools.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:06:24] Can I just say, thank God for you. And I'm so glad that we met Maya.</p>
<p> I'm looking forward to our next show to close off the show. I have a quote for you guys. It's from Pythagoras. I was really into sacred geometry and then combining that, talking about Pythagoras  and interweaving it into the yoga classes I was teaching.</p>
<p>And so here's a quote: "There is geometry in the humming of the strings. There is music in the spacing of the spheres."</p>
<p> [01:07:00] I think that's what happens in breath and in between our movements is there's music in that. And even Nikola Tesla talks about the music within the space. Right. Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[01:07:16] I think that's so beautiful, Fawn. And I want to thank you for having me on today.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:22] We love</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[01:07:24] Matt.</p>
<p>I appreciate you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:27] We are blown away by you. We are so grateful to you. Maya Breuer, you are the most beautiful kind compassionate wise human being. It is such an honor to have you here in our kitchen via via technology.</p>
<p><strong>Maya: </strong>[01:07:49] Thank you very much.Namaste.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:52] Namaste everyone have a beautiful every day and please tune in to get more information [01:08:00] about Maya Breuer, everything is on our it's in our show notes, uh, links, everything also on our website.  All right. Have a beautiful every day. Is that it, I don't want to go well. All right. All right. All right, well, we'll talk to you soon. Bye everybody.</p>
<p> </p>
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                    <![CDATA["There is geometry in the humming of the strings. There is music in the spacing of the spheres." - Pythagoras
We are graced by the lovely Maya Breuer,  host of The Unity in Yoga podcast. She is, also the co-founder of the black yoga teachers Alliance, an Emeritus trustee of Kripalu and the creator of the yoga retreat for women of color.
Maya is a recipient of the YWCA's Women of Achievement Award. This our beautiful friend, is Maya Breuer. Maya Breuer continues to demonstrate commitment to educating the black and indigenous and people of color community B I P O C about health and wellbeing through yoga. She enthusiastically promotes equity and continues to influence the changing landscape of yoga.
We speak of acceptance of you who we are and where we are. And when you get grounded in that acceptance of self, it doesn't matter what anyone says. We get into how we’re reared in the United States to always compare ourselves and each other.
“ I love that I have self-acceptance. I mean, I can be neat. I can be sloppy. I can, I can be soft and gentle. I can cuss you out. You know, I live my life out loud and I think yoga gives, you know, contrary to what many people think, you know; yoga is gonna make you this, this quiet, sweet person. Yoga enables you to be who you really are. And then the more you practice, the more you delve into yoga, you let go of that thing, which I call comparison; comparing yourself with others. It's like, Oh, that's the model. I should look that way. And I'll never look that way. You know, looking at many of the models, although today there's models of every color and every shape and size, but I had to, you know, I had to accept myself and it was the yoga that really taught me how to accept myself. “
 
Hall of Fame Quote from the episode:  
-“I've learned by learning to love myself, I can love others.”
-“Breath combined with the movement helps move good and bad, some samskara and those are impressions. Yoga, breath, consciousness, awareness, relaxation; those are the tools we get to help us find ourselves; the true self.”
-“The more you develop that inner Popeye, that's connected to the divine, that's connected to your deep inner self, the more you can accept others, but the more you're free to have all of your  self available for life.”
-“Yoga is like a smart computer chip.  You simply inject like, you take it in and it can come through your skin, your tissues, all your breath. And then it goes to where it needs to go. If you need it in your hip, you need it in your belly, you need it in your chest area, and it’ll find its way there if you take up the practice. The same, if you have challenges with your health, with addiction, with dullness, yoga will help you. It's such a smart computer chip.”
 
Maya Breuer:
https://www.yogaalliance.org/Membership_Benefits/Unity_in_Yoga
https://www.linkedin.com/in/maya-breuer-a002b65/
http://www.mayabreuer.com/
 
 
Transcript:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, here we go. Another  star struck moment for me, honestly. , Matt helped me out because I don't want to do what I normally do, which has profess my love.
Maya: [00:00:13] It's way too late.
Fawn: [00:00:16] The whole episode will just be me saying how much I love this person. Okay. All right, here we go. Thank you. All right. We have a very beautiful guest today, someone I've been wanting to talk to for a very long time. She I'm going to tell you her name in a second. She is the vice president of cross cultural advancement for yoga Alliance. You all know I've been a yoga te...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:09:08</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
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                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED - Roundtable #8 BREATH]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Jul 2021 11:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/connected-roundtable-8-breath</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-roundtable-8-breath</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Do you think it's a bad thing to be so interconnected? We are living in a time where we see, hear, and feel everything we are all (as a collective and individually) feeling and experiencing all at the same time. This experience of “oneness” can be devastating and hard to manage. What can we do?</p>
<p> We turn to a simple cure, one that is thousands of years old – The breath. In this episode, we explore breath and the way it can not only heal the body and the mind, but transform reality and change the outcome of realty as we see it.</p>
<p> Breath is also called prana  and it means the vital energy of the universe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Swami Rama, according to, his book, "The Science of Breath, A Practical Guide". </p>
<p>Swami Rama: "According to one of the schools of Indian philosophy, the whole universe was projected out of Akasha Which means space, space through the energy of prana. Akasha is the infinite all-encompassing material of the universe. And prana is the infinite all-pervading energy of the universe, cosmic energy. All the diverse forms of the universe are sustained by it. Pranayama is a science, which imparts knowledge related to the control of Parana. One who has learned to control prana has learned to control all the energies of this universe, physical and mental. He is also learned to control his body and mind."</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>"In short, emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you got to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion." (excerpt from the book “Burnout” - by Emily Nagoski &amp; Amelia Nagoski</strong></p>
<p><strong>if you're in a stuck emotion, if you are able to come into that space and breathe life into it, you're able to access a part of the universe that is transformative; that you can recreate, that you can go in there and Recode. . Does that make sense? Like if you get into the Akashic records, right, you go into a level where everything has history,  in the universe and all the universes in that empty space is where you can create. What you focus on grows right? In that empty space is where you can rewrite things.</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>So if you can harness that vital energy of the universe, and then infuse; channel the energy of that universe, that breath, into wherever you are. I think you can change in an instant what is happening in and around you.</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00]</p>
<p> [00:00:00] Hello. Welcome to our table. Welcome to the table. Welcome to your table. Our house is your house. Technically, this is Mark Beran's and Kelly Beran's house, but you know what I mean? Our house is your house. mi casa es tu casa</p>
<p>Our home is your home. Our table is your table. This is all of our table. Is that right? The English and my grammar proper. Anyway, welcome everyone to the table. Our round table. Welcome to our friendly world today. We have Katie. We have, Paul, we have Beth. We have KJ. If anyone wants  to reach out to them, go to the show notes and all their links are there.</p>
<p>There are links are also on our website, https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/and you'll learn all about their [00:01:00] podcasts and everything that they're doing in the world. Check them out. Um, and also any, any other things, friendly reminders, anyone, anyone want to have a friendly reminder out there? Okay, man.</p>
<p>Hello. When did you say before we started the show, Matt, I have no idea. You said I need to take a breath. And that is ours. That is our topic today. We're talking about breath and really the reason why I wanted to talk about breath was this. So we were talking  Matt and I were talking  last week and I was like, oh my God.</p>
<p>I, I can't take anymore because we were talking about the news. I'm like what's. And I was trying to explain this country and that country, and this is happening here and all the pain here and all the pain ther...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Do you think it's a bad thing to be so interconnected? We are living in a time where we see, hear, and feel everything we are all (as a collective and individually) feeling and experiencing all at the same time. This experience of “oneness” can be devastating and hard to manage. What can we do?
 We turn to a simple cure, one that is thousands of years old – The breath. In this episode, we explore breath and the way it can not only heal the body and the mind, but transform reality and change the outcome of realty as we see it.
 Breath is also called prana  and it means the vital energy of the universe.
 
Swami Rama, according to, his book, "The Science of Breath, A Practical Guide". 
Swami Rama: "According to one of the schools of Indian philosophy, the whole universe was projected out of Akasha Which means space, space through the energy of prana. Akasha is the infinite all-encompassing material of the universe. And prana is the infinite all-pervading energy of the universe, cosmic energy. All the diverse forms of the universe are sustained by it. Pranayama is a science, which imparts knowledge related to the control of Parana. One who has learned to control prana has learned to control all the energies of this universe, physical and mental. He is also learned to control his body and mind."
 
"In short, emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you got to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion." (excerpt from the book “Burnout” - by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski
if you're in a stuck emotion, if you are able to come into that space and breathe life into it, you're able to access a part of the universe that is transformative; that you can recreate, that you can go in there and Recode. . Does that make sense? Like if you get into the Akashic records, right, you go into a level where everything has history,  in the universe and all the universes in that empty space is where you can create. What you focus on grows right? In that empty space is where you can rewrite things.
 
So if you can harness that vital energy of the universe, and then infuse; channel the energy of that universe, that breath, into wherever you are. I think you can change in an instant what is happening in and around you.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
Fawn: [00:00:00]
 [00:00:00] Hello. Welcome to our table. Welcome to the table. Welcome to your table. Our house is your house. Technically, this is Mark Beran's and Kelly Beran's house, but you know what I mean? Our house is your house. mi casa es tu casa
Our home is your home. Our table is your table. This is all of our table. Is that right? The English and my grammar proper. Anyway, welcome everyone to the table. Our round table. Welcome to our friendly world today. We have Katie. We have, Paul, we have Beth. We have KJ. If anyone wants  to reach out to them, go to the show notes and all their links are there.
There are links are also on our website, https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/and you'll learn all about their [00:01:00] podcasts and everything that they're doing in the world. Check them out. Um, and also any, any other things, friendly reminders, anyone, anyone want to have a friendly reminder out there? Okay, man.
Hello. When did you say before we started the show, Matt, I have no idea. You said I need to take a breath. And that is ours. That is our topic today. We're talking about breath and really the reason why I wanted to talk about breath was this. So we were talking  Matt and I were talking  last week and I was like, oh my God.
I, I can't take anymore because we were talking about the news. I'm like what's. And I was trying to explain this country and that country, and this is happening here and all the pain here and all the pain ther...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED - Roundtable #8 BREATH]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Do you think it's a bad thing to be so interconnected? We are living in a time where we see, hear, and feel everything we are all (as a collective and individually) feeling and experiencing all at the same time. This experience of “oneness” can be devastating and hard to manage. What can we do?</p>
<p> We turn to a simple cure, one that is thousands of years old – The breath. In this episode, we explore breath and the way it can not only heal the body and the mind, but transform reality and change the outcome of realty as we see it.</p>
<p> Breath is also called prana  and it means the vital energy of the universe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Swami Rama, according to, his book, "The Science of Breath, A Practical Guide". </p>
<p>Swami Rama: "According to one of the schools of Indian philosophy, the whole universe was projected out of Akasha Which means space, space through the energy of prana. Akasha is the infinite all-encompassing material of the universe. And prana is the infinite all-pervading energy of the universe, cosmic energy. All the diverse forms of the universe are sustained by it. Pranayama is a science, which imparts knowledge related to the control of Parana. One who has learned to control prana has learned to control all the energies of this universe, physical and mental. He is also learned to control his body and mind."</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>"In short, emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you got to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion." (excerpt from the book “Burnout” - by Emily Nagoski &amp; Amelia Nagoski</strong></p>
<p><strong>if you're in a stuck emotion, if you are able to come into that space and breathe life into it, you're able to access a part of the universe that is transformative; that you can recreate, that you can go in there and Recode. . Does that make sense? Like if you get into the Akashic records, right, you go into a level where everything has history,  in the universe and all the universes in that empty space is where you can create. What you focus on grows right? In that empty space is where you can rewrite things.</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>So if you can harness that vital energy of the universe, and then infuse; channel the energy of that universe, that breath, into wherever you are. I think you can change in an instant what is happening in and around you.</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00]</p>
<p> [00:00:00] Hello. Welcome to our table. Welcome to the table. Welcome to your table. Our house is your house. Technically, this is Mark Beran's and Kelly Beran's house, but you know what I mean? Our house is your house. mi casa es tu casa</p>
<p>Our home is your home. Our table is your table. This is all of our table. Is that right? The English and my grammar proper. Anyway, welcome everyone to the table. Our round table. Welcome to our friendly world today. We have Katie. We have, Paul, we have Beth. We have KJ. If anyone wants  to reach out to them, go to the show notes and all their links are there.</p>
<p>There are links are also on our website, https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/and you'll learn all about their [00:01:00] podcasts and everything that they're doing in the world. Check them out. Um, and also any, any other things, friendly reminders, anyone, anyone want to have a friendly reminder out there? Okay, man.</p>
<p>Hello. When did you say before we started the show, Matt, I have no idea. You said I need to take a breath. And that is ours. That is our topic today. We're talking about breath and really the reason why I wanted to talk about breath was this. So we were talking  Matt and I were talking  last week and I was like, oh my God.</p>
<p>I, I can't take anymore because we were talking about the news. I'm like what's. And I was trying to explain this country and that country, and this is happening here and all the pain here and all the pain there. And I'm like, oh my God, all this pain. And I was thinking, well, you know, our show, our round table is about being [00:02:00] interconnected.</p>
<p>And we talk about how wonderful it is that we are all interconnected, that we're here for one another. And I'm like, well, shoot, do you think it's a bad thing to be so interconnected? Like, is it a bad thing because we're feeling all the tragedies, all the overwhelm. do you think it's going to create apathy?</p>
<p>Because there's more and more destruction.  There's just so much, or Can it create healing? And so I thought, you know what, that's where breath comes in. So I was thinking about breath.  Okay, let me get into it. So first,  the etymology and  the  background of what breath truly is.</p>
<p>I'm going to go to Sanskrit and get into the science of breath. The Sanskrit word is pranayama. The translation for pranayama is the science of breath. Swami Rama. One of my favorite books that I'm going to refer to today is "The Science of Breath".</p>
<p>Swami [00:03:00] Rama  said that this is a very limited description of pranayama, which is the science of breath, that pranayama literally means. If you break it down, the IYAMA IYAMA is expansion extension, the manifestation of prana.  Prana, if we break that down ,PRA,   means first unit NA means energy.</p>
<p>So prana means the vital energy of the universe.  Pranayama is breathing techniques.  Prana, once again is the vital energy of the universe.</p>
<p> The breath is the vital energy of the universe.</p>
<p> Here's a  paragraph from our friend Swami Rama, according to, his book, "The Science of Breath, A Practical Guide". </p>
<p>So he says:</p>
<p> "According to one of the schools of Indian philosophy,  the whole universe was projected out of Akasha Which means [00:04:00] space space through the energy of prana. Akasha is the infinite all encompassing material of the universe. And prana is the infinite all pervading energy of the universe, cosmic energy. All the diverse forms of the universe are sustained by it. Pranayama is a science, which imparts knowledge related to the control of Parana. One who has learned to control prana has learned to control all the energies of this universe, physical and mental. He is also learned to control his body and mind."</p>
<p> I had to go back to that paragraph and read that again and remember everything that I have been thinking about and learning the past few years, especially because studying yoga, you know, [00:05:00] I went into it  feeling broken physically and spiritually broken so much stress, which leads me to this KJ last week,  recommended a book called "Burnout."</p>
<p>This book is so amazing. Here's what they say about emotion. I'm reading from their book.</p>
<p>It says:</p>
<p> "In short, emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you got to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion." </p>
<p> Here's this one part that made me go, oh my God, this is exactly why we're doing this round table. This is why friendship is important. This is why we have the whole friendship movement right here.</p>
<p> They were talking about caretakers; how, if you're a parent or if you're constantly caretaking after someone that there's no end to the tunnel, like you're always worried.</p>
<p>You're always, you're always in [00:06:00] that emotion and you get stuck, right? Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion. And so they say this is a quote from their book. "Sometimes we get stuck because we can't find our way through the most difficult feelings, rage, grief, despair, helplessness, maybe too treacherous to move through alone. We get lost and need someone else, a loving presence to help us find our way."</p>
<p> This is exactly why we have this podcast. This is exactly why we're all here at this round table for each other. And most importantly, for, for you listening to us, that's why we are here. So as I was talking to Matt, Last week about all the horrible things that are happening in the world.</p>
<p>And we were saying, you know, horrible things have always been happening, but because we're, we have access to information and it's so immediate, we instantly find out [00:07:00] someone's pain and we see it, we hear it, you know, all our senses are involved in it. And there's only so much a human being can, can handle.</p>
<p>There's so much information that we can process and much like these ladies who wrote this book "Burnout", I'm like, what are we going to do? And so that's why we want to go back to the breath. And that's why I want to talk about it because it is  transformative. And if we can go back to that one breath, we can understand why it works.</p>
<p>It's not just a stress reliever, there's a science behind it. And it's been studied for thousands of years by yogis; pranayama, the study of breath.  When I was studying yoga and as, as my body was healing and my emotions were healing,  I would read about other people who like totally got over these crazy diseases. I'm like really with [00:08:00] yoga. And because I was also experiencing the healing myself, I'm like, what is it about yoga that is doing that? So I started asking myself these questions. I'm like, what is it? What is it? What is it?</p>
<p>What is it? And I remember. Once again, all the things that happened studying over the years, um, going into science and, and studying biology and epigenetics, and like learning from all these scientists and doctors that are amazing out there that have completely out of the box thinking and how they talk about that everything is energy. Like this table is not really solid that we are all energy. We are all light. Nikola, Tesla said this too, that we are light. We are the light that our chair isn't really the chair. You can move through it, right? If you break everything down, if you keep magnifying it, looking at it through a microscope with higher and [00:09:00] higher magnification, everything has space in between, you know, even space is not really space.</p>
<p>It's just, everything is kind of fluid. I don't know how to describe</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:12] it. No, no, no, absolutely. They talk about like how cells there's a lot of emptiness even inside of an</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:17] individuals cell.</p>
<p> Exactly. And they say that even like with genetics, the information is not in the cell. It, the information is energetic, so it's not concrete.</p>
<p>And it's, it's, it's quite spiritual. It is in the ether. It is in no space in no time. It's like in that empty space. And I was, as I was practicing yoga, I'm like, okay, so I'm moving our, we're moving our bodies a certain way. And each time we move into a pose, it is  done with breath. And what is that? And so I started to think, okay, the space in between.</p>
<p>Right. Like [00:10:00] getting back to that, the space in between like the cells and everything, everything is energy, everything is light. But then if you combine that with focus, focus in focusing in on, um, a part of something like sending breath to that. And remember if we go back to the definition of breath, breath is vital energy of the universe, the vital energy of the universe.</p>
<p>So we combine the two. If we think about that space, that space could be the area around your hip that you may have trouble with. And as you move and you take a deep breath in and then release that breath into that space, you're sending vital energy of the universe into that space. I think that's the key guys.</p>
<p>I think that's the key.  I was listening to someone we were interviewing. Maya Broyer, who's one of the [00:11:00] heads, original founders of The Yoga Alliance.  I was listening to her podcast. There were two people that she interviewed two different episodes and they were both talking about, of course,  human rights and being black, especially in the United States.</p>
<p>And one man was specifically talking about breath, how as black people, if we could come together and if we could breathe through the trauma, even in the midst of the trauma that you can get. And this is when, like, I started to think of my own explanation of it. But if you're in a trauma, if you're in a stuck emotion, if you are able to come into that space and breathe life into it, you're able to access a part of the universe that is transformative; that you can recreate, that you can go in there and Recode. . Does that make sense? [00:12:00] Like if you get into the Akashic records, right, you go into a level where everything has history,  in the universe and all the universes in that empty space is where you can create. What you focus on grows right? In that empty space is where you can rewrite things.</p>
<p>So if you can harness that vital energy of the universe, and then infuse that like channel the energy of that universe, that breath into wherever you are. I think you can change in an instant what is happening in and around you. You're looking at me with a no, no, no, no.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:45] I, I get where you're going with this, but for me, Akashic records and rewriting everything and no space.</p>
<p>Wow. That takes me all over the place. But what I have to say, and when I have to think about the subject is,  [00:13:00] when you just focus on your breath and you focus on your breath, it doesn't matter what else is going on in your life. You feel like you're, you're centered. You feel like you're kind of resetting everything.</p>
<p>And even if you're stressed about 27,000 things, if you just focus on breath for a minute, if that it can make all of that kind of fade away. At least for the period of time you</p>
<p>focus,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:24] basically. You just said what I'm saying, but I'm getting it. I'm getting more in a metaphysical way about it. Right. I'm getting into it more of an Omni Versal way.</p>
<p>Is that a word? All the</p>
<p>universes</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:37] again, it's it, it feels too big to me. Well, I'd like to keep it</p>
<p>simple.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:41] You know, I like to go there. I'm not from this planet. I like to go to other universes and  bring it all in, bring it all in. We're all connected. So I'm connected to all these other universities and all the parallel universes and all the,  parallel situations, all of it.</p>
<p>You know what I'm saying?</p>
<p>[00:14:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:00] Absolutely. I, yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:01] Okay. Well, okay. Okay. Okay. Before, before I let everybody else talk, stop it. So here's the thing. Okay. Trying to make it simple. So I was talking to my friend, Laura. And I'm like, Laura, I'm just holding my breath until we get out of this situation. I was telling her about the situation we're in at the moment.</p>
<p>And she's like, why don't you take a breath? I'm like, Nope, I'm holding my breath until we get out of here. And she's like, why don't you open your arms up and enjoy the nice mountain area of where you are, take a deep breath and exhale, you know, stretch out your arms and just do yourself a favor and enjoy  your breath right now, where you are.</p>
<p>Cause I'm always like, we gotta get out of here. Right. And I did it and I'm like, oh man. And then I thought of Katy, I'm like, oh Katy. Cause she  loves the mountains in Colorado. I'm like the mountains, even though I'm an [00:15:00] ocean person. And it, it helped.  Ever since that day, last week I'm like, ah, That's nice.</p>
<p>I still want to get out of here.</p>
<p>So Katy, you want to take it away because I love, I love Katy take every, we'll go around the table because everybody here, Paul, Beth KJ, Katie, Matt, you all are phenomenal. So I'm going to be quiet now. I'm going to let you take it away. You, you take it away first, Katy.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:15:34] Okay. So, last week or so we were talking too, and we're talking about, what should we talk about next?</p>
<p>And then all of a sudden our conversation came to breath and I'm like, that's it? That is exactly what we need to talk about because there's so much of that going on now in, in every situation where, um, all of the stress around and everybody needs to learn how to do this. [00:16:00] And. There's many books out there.</p>
<p>I, I counted today on, I went really quick to Amazon. There's like 15, 20 books and really interesting. There's also three books for children to learn how to breathe. And I thought, oh, that was so wonderful. One is called, "Breathe Like a Bear". And it's just a few little, , steps that you can take to teach your children how to breathe in stressful situations.</p>
<p>And boy, if we had that, our moms reading us books like that, when we were younger, how amazing that would be, that maybe we could grow up like that and learn how to , handle stressful situations. And so, , everybody, sometimes they're caught up in how do I do it? Like meditation? I don't know how to do it.</p>
<p>I can't, I'm not good at it, whatever.</p>
<p>So</p>
<p>there's no one way. To breathe. There's no correct way to breathe. There's a lot of things online to do, oh, do this, do that. There's this method. There's that method. I [00:17:00] listened to a lot of  podcasts, , last week on it. And it's really confusing and overwhelming all the different ways you can breathe.</p>
<p>And so I'm like, well, let's just breathe. And then, so there's one that's, just even breathe in and out very slowly and do when you're outside walking, do 30 breaths and then there's box breathing, which I like.  A lot of people do it in their own way and their own count, but it's usually like breathe in, hold your breath for four counts and then breathe out for eight counts.</p>
<p>And Then I was telling Fawn also that they do this, they teach us in the military, in the Navy specifically to Navy seals when they're training, when they're actually in bootcamp, they have to train, which I think is really mean. They train, they train in swimming pools and they tie weights on their ankles and they have to stand or water for an [00:18:00] ungodly amount of time and they have to learn to hold their breath.</p>
<p>And so there's another breathing exercise for them in that, but yet the Navy seals, they learn how to, breathe for all kinds of stressful situations, not only underwater, but they also work on land too. So this breathing is ubiquitous, for every person, every situation,  for everything.</p>
<p>And it's just, if we would all learn how to do this, I can't imagine what a change it would be in society. And I find myself doing that all the time work, even though I'm wearing a mask, I still do it. And I can do it. It's fine. And it's just completely relieves stress so much. And there's also some other really interesting things.</p>
<p> When you breathe, I've actually tested myself, I've brought my blood pressure down. I have a little blood pressure cuff at home. And,  if I find it, if I take it  and it's high, [00:19:00] that I will take a number of breaths, just calm myself, do box breathing, do that probably at five minutes. And my blood pressure is down many points, which is really cool.</p>
<p>And also breathing helps to increase nitric oxide in the body, which is something really important.  It's also a natural function in the body that helps relieves your endothelial lining in your arteries. So it's really good for your arterial health.  There's just many, many things out there that the simple act of breathing will do for your body.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:36] Yeah. And there are so many systems of the body like, um, like it's just, obviously there are books on it and they're thousands of years of research from people who devote their lives to it, just breathing and you can manifest everything. Everything is through the breath. You can make things appear  out of  thin air</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:59] and [00:20:00] also in martial arts, you strike harder if your breath is right,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:05] right.</p>
<p>Everything is with</p>
<p>a breath.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:20:07] You actually gain physical power. If you strike, I think it's a strike on an exhale.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:20:12] You also mentioned earlier, just one thing really quick about controlling energy and we can control everything ourselves. So if we find ourselves getting, , stressed out in this situation, we have that control ourselves.  Just remember that, that we can control our energy when we get out of sync, when we get afraid of something. We can control it ourselves. I liked when you mentioned that in the beginning, cause like that's a key point. That's an exciting key point that we have control ourselves.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:41] Woman. You are goddess, speak away, whatever you want to say. Yeah. I'm finished. I'm finished. Yeah. Are you okay? Paul seems like he's doing extra breathing and he seems like, are you awake?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:20:59] Yeah. [00:21:00] Uh, yeah, I'm just lying on the floor. Um, it's funny. You're talking about that box breathing. I was doing it while I was  lying on the floor. Nice. Um, and I want to do some bear breathing as well.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:14] What is bear breathing? You guys, you KJ was like, could you look like she knew what that book was? KJ. Do you know about that book?</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:21:21] I do.</p>
<p>I do. Mostly just because, um, as Katie had mentioned, there may not be as many resources available as you think, at least for children, when I feel like that might be the most</p>
<p>key,</p>
<p>key piece of it is to have all of us remember and sort of revert to relearning  or approaching things with the curiosity of a child.</p>
<p>And so I had remembered looking up and seeing that book before, thinking, oh my gosh, this is the same, like Katie. I was just like, oh, I wish I wish I had something like that when I was a kid.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:57] Yeah, we are. We have, we have, um, a [00:22:00] ton of yoga books and a ton of children's yoga books. And there is one beautiful book and I don't know why, but I'm totally attracted to whales and dolphins of course, being an ocean person.</p>
<p>But there is one book. Called breathe. And as the, the whales and stuff, I've packed it away. Cause you know, I've been packing, but it's beautiful. There are some great resources out there, but it's really weird how like our kids, I don't know if most kids are like this, but like they don't breathe and they get mad at me when I'm like, take a deep breath, they get mad at me and then they refuse to breathe.</p>
<p>It's like, it's a fight. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:22:40] And Fawn, once excuse me. One thing though, a lot of kids breathe by through their mouth and that is, uh, that's very damaging. You should be nose breathing. Mouth breathing can cause many, many problems. So, um, they even have out now for people to tape their mouth shut at [00:23:00] night. Um, it's, it's specific tape for that.</p>
<p>And then to learn how to breathe through your mouth at night, because then you get more oxygen to the brain. Um, so mouth breathing is very dangerous. So you're,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:13] you're right on that. It's also, I'm so sorry, Paul, but it's also a way to hyperventilate. Like if you read fast through your mouth, there's actually a technique.</p>
<p>If I'm correct, it was a year, a few years ago, they would make you do mouth breathing really fast for a really long time. And it takes you to this crazy stress level and it releases something I'm like, I don't want to take part in this. Like, it was totally the opposite of my training, but it's what they do to release something.</p>
<p>Have you guys heard of that? Like there's this group in Costa Rica, especially, and they also mess around with what's that the Iowasca they do all this stuff, but like this particular form of breathing, it's like really fast [00:24:00] and really deep and it's constant constant. It sounds like you're hyperventilating the fire breath.</p>
<p>Yeah, but it goes higher. It goes on forever and ever.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:24:12] Yeah. See Kate, you know, this breath of fire there you go.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:24:15] Yeah. But breath of fire. Isn't that? That's your nose. Is that right?</p>
<p>Fawn?</p>
<p>I forget. Now you guys.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:24:23] Yeah. Well,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:27] yeah,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:24:29] I think it's funny though, that they have specific lip tape for when you go to sleep, it's using like normal tape.</p>
<p>What's this what's so special about this lip thing,</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:24:39] because it's not as adhesive as the other lip tapes. So it doesn't hurt when you pull it off.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:47] Wouldn't it be a choking hazard?</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:24:49] Oh, no, not at all.</p>
<p>Okay. No, no. It stays on. I've done. It really. It stays up. Yeah.</p>
<p>It stays on.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:24:58] It's funny. I was chatting to my mate [00:25:00] Jacob and we were talking about breath and he was like, he said a statement. He was like, yeah, it's fun. Isn't it Paul that not enough people breathe. And just like that in a sentence is, is bonkers in it. Cause that's like our main</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:15] and we know what we don't breathe.</p>
<p>Especially because we experience trauma. We tend to hold ourselves and not breathe. And I wonder where that comes from. Why do we do that? Because it really should be the other way around every time you're experiencing trauma, you need to breathe, but why don't we hold our breath like? Are you trying to be quiet?</p>
<p>I</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:25:35] suppose it's like a tool, isn't it like using your brain? You need to learn to use it,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:40] but isn't it like instinct? Like what is that like? It must be, it's like toddlers,</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:25:44] hold the breath door there. So that's not tall is that's the most get instinct. I don't know why they do that, but they do,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:54] but like check it out.</p>
<p>Like you experienced something in a split second, you tend to go (Fawn gasps and pauses, holding her [00:26:00] breath) and then you look around with your eyes. Why do we hold our breath while we're doing that?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:26:05] Learning to not hold our breaths is learning, uh, with the tool kind of thing. Cause yeah, naturally we do hold our breath,</p>
<p>don't we? It's like the same when we do exercise, if we're lifting something really heavy, we'll hold our breath. We won't breathe, but it's actually makes, makes us stronger and push harder and stuff like that. So, yeah. I mean, you know, the, the light you learn about all these lovely little bear breath books and stuff like that.</p>
<p>If we learn  to breathe through it, it's like when I'm, when I'm personal training someone, I'll always, you know, we're talking about the breath like key.  There's  one thing I want to talk about. I learned a little meditation exercise that, you know, the listeners can do at home if they want with their, with their friends and whatnot.</p>
<p>Um, it's. an exercise I learned through Jack Kornfield he's, um, a Buddhist [00:27:00] meditation master. And,  it is quite simple. So you have one person lying down, like I am at the moment and that person will be breathing just naturally. And the other person will be kneeling next to them and they'll watch their tummy going up and down and their chest going up and down.</p>
<p>Um, and when they're going, when it's going down and they're breathing out, the other person will make just like this noise, we just go. Um, and then like they breathe in again, they breathe out and again, um, and, um, and then, yeah, they just feel like connection, beautiful little excercise  for that,</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:27:41] I was just having a natural response and actually, I think that's what I'll probably touch on today. A couple of times is that, we have our nervous system and when it's broken down to the parasympathetic and the sympathetic, systems, there's automatic reflexes and responses.</p>
<p>And so one of the questions [00:28:00] was why, why do we do that? We don't even realize we're doing it. It's like, it's a part of being an animal being, uh, this is our instinctual process and the way that, uh, the, the systems work together, is to consistently look for and scan for safety. , And the body, even just without having any sort of a voluntary or, , intentional, uh, uh, thoughts around it, it will naturally respond in the way that it's known for millions, millions of</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:34] years.</p>
<p>Hold on. So are we like the goats, the fainting goats, you know, like they get startled and then they like faint and they look like they're dead. Is that what we're doing? We're trying to look like we're dead. So the, the, the predators don't get us cause we dead. And one of the</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:28:52] reactors obviously surf there's fight, fight, fight flight, or freeze.</p>
<p>And that's a part of the freeze response. And there's also a [00:29:00] Fawn response as well. Interesting. We</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:01] can, are you serious? Are you joking? No. I'm sorry. What is the fawn response? What's that,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:29:09] oh, I'll get more into it in a second. But before I lose my thought, because what I was just saying was so powerful. He was speaking about using the tones of our voice to match our mates or match who are with us.</p>
<p>That is a form of social engagement and safety as well. We're looking to see who is within our tribe, who is,  within our space. Are we safe with this person or creature? And so one of the ways we can do that is by making tones, uh, tones to commerce selves, as well as the breathing.</p>
<p>And then when we hear it echoed and engaged and, , responded to with another creature nearby,  that is us saying, and our bodies understanding I'm okay, I'm safe. I'm surrounded by my [00:30:00] ilk.  It's pretty amazing though, that it's almost a natural thing. We don't even realize we're doing it.</p>
<p>Say say the way that we change the tone, when we speak to like children or animals, the way that we change our tone, that is our way we w the way we cou with babies or, or again, small</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:18] animal. Oh my God. Like when you see something cute, you go, oh,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:30:22] completely change. Yes. And your breathing. Right. And that is all a part of the social engagement and  the safety survey system.</p>
<p>, it's all, it's all with breath.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:34] Beth, I want to hear everything you got to say, woman, the priestess of prosperity, the priestess of possibility, Beth Hewitt.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:30:44] Thank</p>
<p>you Fawn. I have written a poem while you will talk</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:50] about breath.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:30:52] So at the beginning you said emotions,  going through a tunnel. So immediately with my [00:31:00] obviously visual head, I had this train coming to my mind. So this is my poem. I've never read it out loud. It might sound really silly, but this is my painting. This is my paper, and this is what I've written for you.</p>
<p>So it is called each breath in the emotional tunnel of life. We breathe. Each station stop is our chance to breathe. Each passenger we meet is our chance to pause. Each passing outside scene in our courage is another vision to behold. Like the train breathe, breathe, breath, breath, stop, breathe, breathe, breath, breath, live, breathe, breathe, [00:32:00] breath, breath, love.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:04] This is me snapping</p>
<p>our beautiful priestess. I love you so much that</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:32:15] that'd be a new feature</p>
<p>of the show. I might do a little poem every week.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:18] You know what? That's it? I love it. Yes. Beth. That was extraordinary. Everyone applaud Beth for</p>
<p>all the countries that are listening to us right now. Isn't that amazing? Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:32:39] So that's what I've got to say on breath today. I do think what Paul said though, about, um, why as human beings, do we find it so hard to, to breathe or to think about how we meditate or taking up yoga or something? Why does that seem such an alien thing for us to, for some people to be able to do [00:33:00] when it's just a natural thing</p>
<p>that we do</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:03] it is.</p>
<p>And I think it's one of those involuntary things that obviously happens. Otherwise we wouldn't be alive, but to use it as a tool and to use it for manifestation is, is the key here. And that's what all the yogis, thousands of years ago we're doing. And it's all with the breath. And, you know, like I just, I don't know, this just came to me  just, just now, but. I don't know why it came into my head. If things come into my head, I have to speak it out loud. So you may go, well, what does that have to do with what we're talking about? What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? I don't know, but here it goes. Uh, I was seeing a therapist.</p>
<p>It was after Elle was born and we had a traumatic time in the hospital. We both almost died. And for many, many, many months after, um, I don't know about you Matt, but like, [00:34:00] but do you remember? I could not speak without wailing if even though I am all choked up, but like, I couldn't talk about anything that had to do anywhere near the topic of our baby ELLE being born and all the stuff that happened at the hospital without just...</p>
<p>I, I, I couldn't speak because the tears and like no words would come out. Just sounds of me wailing, as I'm trying to explain to them what happened at the hospital. And so, so I had to go to therapy and I was with a psychologist and she, she had me go back to the one. Well, the, one of the moments that stood out to me at the hospital and she told me to tell her how I felt like I can't breathe.</p>
<p>I just, I can't, I'm standing there. I can't breathe. And I don't know what she said after that, but that's all I remember. And I remember telling her I can't breathe. [00:35:00] That's how it feels. I freaking can't breathe. The fear. The trauma is so harsh that I'm just stuck in that space forever. I can't breathe. And I know that's the term that's, that's resounded in our society, especially lately.</p>
<p>Yes, let's move past that. Like, let's try to remind each other to even if it's in the past, a memory is, uh, when you, when you think of a memory, it is, uh, another, uh, universe that's talking to you. So a memory still exists and you're in communication with that another time with that other universe, the parallel universe, whatever kind of universe, right?</p>
<p>Past universe, future universe parallel. All the infinite universes in between all that. When you have a memory, [00:36:00] I personally believe that you're in communication with that world. And even if it's yourself stuck in this moment in time, it is  trying to tell you something. So when you have a memory like that, maybe the reason why I'm telling you this story about us in the hospital was because I have to go back</p>
<p>to that Fawn back then and, and breathe for her and bring breath to that situation and bring breath to my lungs and bring breath to our daughter and to you Matt and release it, like clear up that, that shackle that is got me stuck in that moment of trauma. And I think that breath can help to dissipate and break free from that jail, that horrible, um, whatever you want to call it.</p>
<p>[00:37:00] Right.</p>
<p>I hate it. When you guys get quiet. After I reveal some hardcore stuff, everyone gets quiet. Don't do that. It freaks me out. Make a noise, any noise, anybody say something.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:37:17] Just like giving you space.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:19] I don't want space. It freaks me out.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:21] She always gets mad at me. If I'm too quiet. Oh, what am I talk too much? It's bad if I don't talk enough,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:27] what is it bad when you talk too much? I've never said you talk too much. Never. Why do you say that? No, it's when you get quiet, freaks me out.</p>
<p>I don't like it. And you all are still quiet. Okay. Should I not have said that? Is it too much? Cause I worry because sometimes I get too emotional. I'll say something and then I'll never see the person again. Like it was too much. Did I just vomit all over everybody? And you're like, I don't want you to do with</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:37:53] It's lovely!  Lovely. I mean, silence is good though. Getting comfortable with [00:38:00] silence. It's never a bad thing. It's like, you know, it makes it, the silence makes it more real. I think. And people get a bit like freaked out by</p>
<p>that.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:38:08] I think it's respect when you pause after when somebody say something. You know, if we would just start to rumble up, but what you've just said or change it.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:38:15] I think she's chatting again,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:25] Matt, since this one, last one was about you. Do you have anything to contribute?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:31] Nothing but a change of subject, so, no.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:34] Okay. You don't want to talk about it? Of course</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:36] not. I'm a guy. Come on.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:38:39] Let's hear about the Fawn.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:38:41] Yeah. I was just going to say</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:43] what's the fawn thing. Yes. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:38:48] I was trying to find some, some words that that would help.</p>
<p>It's actually, it's another form of survival and it's using adaptation and [00:39:00] appeasing to survive. Um, it's been noticed in, in children Unfortunately, maybe in abusive situations where they preemptively try to side and an appease with, with the, the potential abuser, um, to, so that they could either a prepare for what might be coming or prevent what they think might be coming, whether it's a physical punishment or, or, you know, something along those lines.</p>
<p>And so it's sort of a deferring, an appeasing, but also mirroring and adapting, like almost anticipating what might come , and try and agree with and, and sort of bring down the, um, escalation by almost by saying you're right.I see you. I see you. So</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:53] that's the fawn technique. It's</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:39:56] the fawn</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:56] response, fun response.</p>
<p>So</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:59] you're [00:40:00] fawning over somebody as a verb, which means you're just trying to like anything I can do. What can I say? And you know, that internalization in that really trying to, trying to throw it out there before the other person knows that you feel any different.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:16] Is it similar to no resistance? Like if someone's coming to hit you, you don't come fist to fist with it, but you flow with it.</p>
<p>Is it the same as the idea? I would</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:27] say no, no, no, not, not at all. LikeAikido. In Aikido you're still completely in your own body and you're still walking the walk that you're doing. You're still, you still have a destination. You're not allowing the person to change your destination. In this case you're it feels like you're changing yourself.</p>
<p>You're changing your opinions. You're changing your to make the other person, maybe like you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:49] Beth, are you as disappointed as I am Beth,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:52] I was really hoping.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:54] I was hoping it would be a cool strengthening fawn thing. I'm like, yeah, the fawn is [00:41:00] here because you and I have a connection with fawns, some wicked</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:41:03] mic.</p>
<p>That's what I was going to say. You actually can turn this to be pretty impressive survival skill. Um, but yeah, so that's just one more reaction, but when you would ask, are we the fainting goats? Are we, are we playing possum? Are we playing dead? That's that's also the freeze and the shutdown response. And so another response would be to, okay, let me start a match with you.</p>
<p>So that may be, maybe we can diffuse the situation so it can be, it can be a, um, we could turn it and make it a pretty cool skill. It's just, yeah, it's just one more reaction. But the body has all of these tools in its tool belt, almost instinctually automatically. But we often don't have a chance to enact that until we pause.</p>
<p>And how do we pause? It's that breath it's that break in between a response or a stimulus and the response, what can we [00:42:00] do in that in between time? And that's where breath comes in is key.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:06] So survival. Ah, .</p>
<p>, but then  certain cases of heightened, uh, emotion, heightened trauma. Are we able to turn things around and maybe if we're not, can we have other people breathe for us? Like a prayer? Like, can we breathe and bring health and wellbeing to another part of the world?</p>
<p>When we hear the bad news, when we hear the  atrocities that are happening. Can we breathe and change that situation? Is it a prayer? What do you think Katy?</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:42:44] yes, it's a prayer. It is definitely a prayer.  But the problem is, is teaching people this, uh, is that going to be their first response to do that? And no, a lot of our first response [00:43:00] is to defend yourself.  So it's going to be a long time before things like that breathing is going to be the response to the normal response for people to, to do.</p>
<p>Um, because when you're threatened, you know, you're going to hit back. You're going to do whatever to protect yourself. So, which is normal. You're responding to something that you have to protect yourself cause you don't want to die. So it's going to be, it's a hard, it's a hard task ahead for everybody.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:33] But you know right before the show, you and I were on the phone and you said to me, this is so easily done. Breathing. It's it's simple. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:43:45] It's natural. What do we, what's the first thing that we do when we come into this world, we breathe that the doctor, you know, shakes us, hits our butt. So what, what do we do?</p>
<p>We breathe. They want us to breathe. So it's the first it is. [00:44:00] It's so natural, but it's not natural for people. You know, remember when we were talking about holding our breath, that's the first thing we do. When we get scared, we hold our breath and are under stress. You know, I've noticed that too. It's like, oh my God, I was holding my breath.</p>
<p>I've got to breathe now. I'll feel better.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:18] You know,  I've been thinking about this, you know, how you blow out a candle and I, okay. I wonder because I, I catch myself doing this and I'm like, why am I doing this?</p>
<p>I'm watching. So I, I watched the news quite often. I've been glued to the TV. I'm ashamed to admit, but I'm looking at all the news. I'm like, I'm trying to have a, I don't know what the word is, radar for what's happening. And so when I'm looking at something and I'm an empath.  I can't watch any movies where people die. I can't, unless it's martial arts related, [00:45:00] then I'm like, cool, not that I want to see someone die, but do you know what I mean?</p>
<p>It's martial artsy and I'm not talking about kill Billy there. I can't watch that stuff. I, I have no respect or any, any admiration for any of those movies, but like, I don't know some really good movies, like, um, why am I blanking? Um, that that's not no,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:26] no Lord of the rings martialartsy</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:29] there was no, you know, with, uh, In the trees and the, you know, the one with that.</p>
<p>Thank you everybody.</p>
<p>oh my God. I love those movies. All right. Anything Bruce Lee. Um, I forgot what I was saying. What happened? Fun, friendly movies. So it's weird then I'm watching the news nonstop, but as I'm [00:46:00] watching it, I'm usually I'm doing the dishes. The kitchen is my place of alchemy, which is interestingly enough, where we record our podcast is in the kitchen.</p>
<p>Like this is our alchemy cave. And so I'm watching the news . And when I see something,  I catch myself taking a deep breath and like how I'm blowing out a candle. I breathe like. I sent it to the TV and I'm like, am I sending breath? Like, what am I doing? Can we send breath to other places?</p>
<p>Okay. I digress. Why are you looking at me like that? Okay. But do you know what I mean? Like I, can we get into a metaphysical, like off the wall tangent about it? Yes. We know how to breathe. We have the boxing. We have, like, there are a million techniques for breathing, but really like how Paul said to make sure, first of all, you're doing it properly.</p>
<p>Like to get that full breath. If you want to [00:47:00] know that you're doing it, lie down on the ground and breathe and your stomach should be going up and down. And especially as women we're taught to not show our stomach and not to have a round stomach, your stomach needs to be flat. So God, forbid, you stick out your stomach, but that's how you should be breathing.</p>
<p>Your stomach needs to come out. And then as you exhale, it goes in, right. So if you want to practice that lie down on your, back on the, on, on the ground and see your stomach go up and down, that's that's the healing breath. So like number one, homework to do was just start with that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:37] I want to say, as far as you were talking about sending breath for a moment, right. Um, you know, if you believe that we're all interconnected and even if you don't watch this, uh, but if you believe that we're all interconnected, then obviously sending good vibes or sending, you know, peaceful intent or whatever, you know, theoretically will [00:48:00] help.</p>
<p>And here's something to really think about in American football. Uh, bring it to, uh, bring it to a very masculine kind of a thing. There is this very real thing called a home field advantage. And why, why does that exist? Why is that so powerful? It's worth seven points or sometimes some people say nine, but I think it's seven, but anyways, which is an interesting number of points just because you're playing at home.</p>
<p>Well, why is that? And part of it, I think is definitely because you're sleeping in your own bed that night. You know, you, you know where the locker room is, you know where everything is, but I think another large part of that is  you're in a stadium, surrounded by people cheering you on, just because so many people are very present in wishing you, well, that's worth three or four points.</p>
<p>Are you kidding me? Unless we're connected.</p>
<p>So that's my argument for why I believe we are connected.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:48:54] I've got a crazy thought connection. So I've often thought this is going to sound really weird, but you know, like [00:49:00] how in England, we always saying, God, save the queen. And like she's old, she's been on this for a long time. And like Victoria, before it was on the throne for a long time, I do feel like because everybody's singing that often, that that's why she's got this longevity.</p>
<p>That's just my thing. I mean, if you look through history, I'm sure all this Kings and Queens died much earlier, but I don't know. I just feel like there's something</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:25] in that. Absolutely. See, this is where I want to take it. This the supernatural stuff, breath is supernatural. I mean, look at what Swami Rama said once again.</p>
<p>And I lost the page. What was that? What'd I say breath was you guys anybody remember?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:49:41] Um, the power source, the energy or the loveliness</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:47] vital energy of the universe. Very good. Everybody.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:51] I take notes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:56] I take notes, the vital energy of the [00:50:00] universe. Yeah. And it think about it. Like, I always imagine a grandmother or someone who's compassionate and caring, who's powerful. When they hear someone going through a trauma, like, let's say a kid comes, they have a skinned  knee, and there's blood. Usually you hear this, like,  like there's a breath that comes from the mother or the grandmother.</p>
<p>Do you know what I'm talking about that breath? Like, or you hear bad news. You're like, you're exhaling. What is that exhale? It could be two things and maybe it's both. One could be, maybe you're experiencing the trauma cause  you have that empathy and you're releasing  but are you, are you sending life force energy to,  the trauma ?</p>
<p>You're sending healing energy to the trauma from your own breath,  kind of like mouth to mouth resuscitation, but on an energetic plane. Do you know what I mean? Does that make [00:51:00] sense? I</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:51:01] think it makes sense and I wouldn't a hundred percent agree with its existence.</p>
<p>I have something I may have shared this with you.</p>
<p>Fawn and, and Beth, but I have a planner That I've actually come to call it's my divining rod, because whenever I sit down and write a person's name or an intent in it, it comes true and or that person reaches out to me. And so it's along those lines of what we were speaking about. And then, and I love Matt's example as well.</p>
<p> When we actually focus our attention. So there's like this brain and heart cohesion all in intention, right? So if we, if we focus our intention on say remembering a moment or a person, or, um, a pet or place that brings up already a healing, a healing, um, comforting, um, Energy to us. And then we think [00:52:00] about that and then also think of regenerative, thought or emotion in response, like happiness, wonder gratitude.</p>
<p>Why wouldn't we, we do a gratitude practice. Um, it seems to actually physiologically, open it up, , open it up in ourselves and perhaps for the person that we're sending the intention out for, or the, the emotion and the place that we're remembering. It's, it's almost like an invitation, like a calling like, hello, this is here. I'm bringing back awareness to it. Is there a connector out there also looking for for that touch point. And so if I think about my niece, my little niece, three years old, um, when I do an exercise like this, where I'm just breathing and thinking of her, sending her energy, then more often than not her mom will call me or text me and say, Hey, violet, Violet's outside playing. I want to show you a picture of what she's doing. And [00:53:00] so I can't tell you how many times that's happened, where I've written down and had a moment of thought and sending Goodwill and intention towards a particular person. And that person either calls, writes, or there's some sort of responding connection to it.</p>
<p>So I absolutely believe that there is, there is this connector wave that we are all on.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:24] Yeah. KJ. I, I told you guys, I told you and Beth, but you guys, oh, I'll admit it. I'm taking. Okay. I feel like, you know, sometimes I feel like I've lost my special powers. So once in a while I'm like, I'll reach out to someone.</p>
<p>So recently I reached out to the psychic in Santa Barbara and I'm taking, I took, uh, I took, I I'm scared to like admit it out loud. So I'm taking a class from the psychic and when I was a little kid, I could bend [00:54:00] spoons and stuff. And I didn't even know it was a thing. Like I did not know it was a party trick.</p>
<p>I did not know other people were doing it, but it was like, remember Beth and KJ, like when we first became friends, we were talking about the weird stuff that we did when we were babies. Like the weird thoughts that we had. Well, one of the things I did in diapers was I would try to bend the spoon and I would try to, um, change the, the, the second, like tick, tick, tick, tick on the clock.</p>
<p>I would try to slow it down.  And so anyway, Matt is giving me this weird look like not giving you any little. Oh my God. We need to shoot video. So the audience can see how you look at me when I'm talking. It like totally throws me off. Anyway, what was I saying?</p>
<p>I totally forgot what I was going to say. Oh, here's the thing. So I met and taking a class from the psychic. And so she's teaching people, how to bend the spoons and it's really no big deal. Like you can like everyone in the whole audience bent the spoon on the first try [00:55:00] and then they held it up to the camera.</p>
<p>Like, will you saw the spoon before and after? And within one minute, the craziest shapes these. Heavy silver spoons. It is crazy. It makes me want to laugh. It's funny, but it's so true. So, um, one of the things, oh, so she has different techniques and it's all to help you connect to the universe, help you connect to one another, you know, to get into that field of interconnectedness anyway.</p>
<p>So what you just said, KJ is exactly when she teaches. So what you do is, um, there is in this one exercise, she had to team up with a partner so you can read minds, right? So the process is you, you imagine coming at the top of your head, the purest purest light coming in through the top of your head. And it just goes into every part of your body, your [00:56:00] heart expanded, expanded, expanded, and that light expanded outside your body.</p>
<p>And then send that light to the person. It could be the person in front of you, your partner, that you're practicing with, or someone that you're thinking about. And that connects the, that that's your connection. And that's how you can travel. You can astral trout full, you can like have a connection of psychic connection with someone.</p>
<p> It's from the heart. Our heart is the second brain. Like they're researching it now. The heart is the brain. It has as many neurons, if not more than the brain. So that there's the technique of heart heart-brain connection. It's a real thing and that's how you do it. It's really simple. So you just have feel good emotions and make it so strong and feel your heart. So like, if you could put your hand on your heart, feel the feel good emotions, something that like just makes you feel good. There is great power in that.</p>
<p>[00:57:00] And at the same time, slow your breathing down and stay with that powerful vision, that powerful emotion that makes you happy. So once you get into that space, combining it with a slow breath after like seven, very slow  breaths, you can ask anything of your heart and you get the accurate answer.</p>
<p>So you say at the end, you say heart of mine, where am I going to be living heart of mine? What is the outcome of the situation? Heart of mine. Like you can ask it anything you want. I can't think of anything right now, but that's the way you do it. And it's exactly what you just described with your niece.</p>
<p>And we all do it all the time.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:57:49] I was going to</p>
<p>say, this is your answer here. We're wondering if it's possible and what we can do.</p>
<p>That's one thing  we can do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:55] There's this quote that  I've been sending around the past few [00:58:00] episodes and I'll close  with that. And if anyone wants to say anything after that, please, please don't let me cut you off.</p>
<p>But here's a quote from Hippocrates. He says: "there is one common flow, one common breathing, all things are in sympathy." There is one common  flow one common breathing, all things are in sympathy. - Hippocrates.</p>
<p> <strong>Katy: </strong>[00:58:25] Very nice</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:26] Paul, are you awake?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:58:28] Um, yeah. Um, um, uh, I'm practicing all these every time you guys keep talking about stuff. I keep practicing it, like the meta and the light and the, and the heart. So, yeah, I'm, um, I'm on it. I'm in it. Boom. Interesting. Yeah, there, you're talking about, um, uh, lights, um, like connections and stuff like that.</p>
<p>So one of the meditation techniques I teach my clients is [00:59:00] called, um, the Metta practice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> It's a light and love practice. That's what I know love and kindness practice. Sorry. Um, so, you know, when you breathe in, you get the ball of white energy and center of your chest gets bigger. And when you breathe out, you're sending energy of love, kindness, and acceptance to like your whole body or the other person in front of you.</p>
<p>And, um, you know, you, you get it from inside your chest because the universe is inside of you. And that's where you get like most of your strength from sort of thing. And then you do a little, um, um, a little saying inside your heads, when you breathe in the book, it's bright and strong, you say to yourself, may you be well, and then you breathe out, sending the energy to the person you say, may, you know, peace sort of thing.</p>
<p>And, um, so there's, there's the extended one. So you do yourself, then you do a friend, then a stranger. Then someone you don't particularly like not someone you hate, but someone you, you know, you're a bit funny about, [01:00:00] and then you do everyone and that gives you connection and ground grounded-ness and it stops resentments coming into your head.</p>
<p>So when you go into meditating, after being in the, just in the presence and the moment, it, settles your mind and it  doesn't let resentments so much come in and try and distract you and all that, all that stuff. So that's a beautiful practice that</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:24] it is a beautiful practice.</p>
<p> If some, if you're bothered by someone, you need to feel that you need to feel that rage before you go into that meditation, that meditation that you just described is incredibly powerful. So you have to be careful with that.  Dr.</p>
<p>Mario Martinez, who's studied the Tibetan monks and found that they're the largest population of,  people with diabetes.  It's because they go into that loving kindness, meditation, and not having, uh, to feel their rage, first, you need to feel the [01:01:00] rage against these, these MFS that have just messed you up.</p>
<p>You need to clear that first before you go into that meditation.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:01:10] Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, you, you wanna, you wanna embrace every emotion don't you, you don't want to push</p>
<p>it away.</p>
<p>Is it,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:17] once again comes back to breath, right? We need to breathe it out. And one of the things that helped me get over. A major resentment and rage is this prayer that was given to me.</p>
<p>And when it was given to me, I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. First of all, my list is like super long. If I like, if it was on, if it was a scroll, I would open it and we'll just roll down the hallway. This will be</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:40] the list of people who have wronged you. Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:42] People who had wronged us at our wedding.</p>
<p>So just one day of wrongness one day. And so I went to a psychic who was really a psychologist for me that day. I went to a psychic and I wanted to know the future, but she's like, Ooh, you got rage. I'm [01:02:00] like, okay, listen here. You need to hear, she gave me a piece of paper with this prayer on it. And I'm like, lady, I am not religious like that.</p>
<p>Right. Cause I thought it was some like. Hardcore hardcore, like Christian thing. I'm like, oh my God, seriously. She was like, do it. Um, and then I, once I got over that like religious thing, I'm like, but there's a long list here. It's a lot of people and she's like, yeah. I'm like, oh man. Okay. So here's the thing that made me get over the rage.</p>
<p>Okay. So pick out a name, any name? Jane? You know what? No, let me pick something else. What's the name we have given the woman in society that calls the police all the time. Karen. Alright, so let's take Karen. All right. Here's what we do:  Lord. And it always makes me laugh. When I say Lord, I don't know why.</p>
<p>Lord, [01:03:00] Lord, Lord, please help me to forgive Karen. Lord, please help Karen to forgive me. This is where they lost me. I'm like what? I didn't do anything in this person, but whatever. Just say the prayer anyway. So let me start over Lord. Please help me to forgive Karen. Please help Karen to forgive me. Please help us to forgive each other, please.</p>
<p>Lord. Thank you, Lord. So I had to say this for every single name on my scroll; the huge list. And I got to tell you I was not a believer, but each time I did it, I felt lighter. And to this day, like I said, I start with Lord and I start cracking up. Lord!. I have to do a say Lord. And like, like instantaneously, the whole prayer is already done in my spirit.</p>
<p>Just starting with Lord.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:03:55] It's a miracle!!!  </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:59] It is. [01:04:00]</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:04:00] That's healin' for ya!.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:06] And I don't mean to offend anyone that's totally religious. Okay. It just, I'm just saying it freaked me out at first, but even if you don't believe, just trust, trust in the breath trust and all that. So is that it? You guys, anything else?  Okay. So I'm going to repeat the thing again. There is one common flow, one, common breathing, all things are in sympathy.</p>
<p>Thank you for everything, everybody. Thank you. Thank you, Katy. Thank you, Pauly. Thank you, KJ. Thank you, Beth. Thank you, Matt. Thank you Fawn why don't you do it like that? What do you mean? It's like a jokeyou're sarcastic. You let out your breath, your star. Yep.</p>
<p>[01:05:00] I think that's another issue. But anyway, thank you everyone for listening. We will see you next time. Talk to you later. Talk to you in a few days.</p>
<p>Adios. Adios. That'd be awesome.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Do you think it's a bad thing to be so interconnected? We are living in a time where we see, hear, and feel everything we are all (as a collective and individually) feeling and experiencing all at the same time. This experience of “oneness” can be devastating and hard to manage. What can we do?
 We turn to a simple cure, one that is thousands of years old – The breath. In this episode, we explore breath and the way it can not only heal the body and the mind, but transform reality and change the outcome of realty as we see it.
 Breath is also called prana  and it means the vital energy of the universe.
 
Swami Rama, according to, his book, "The Science of Breath, A Practical Guide". 
Swami Rama: "According to one of the schools of Indian philosophy, the whole universe was projected out of Akasha Which means space, space through the energy of prana. Akasha is the infinite all-encompassing material of the universe. And prana is the infinite all-pervading energy of the universe, cosmic energy. All the diverse forms of the universe are sustained by it. Pranayama is a science, which imparts knowledge related to the control of Parana. One who has learned to control prana has learned to control all the energies of this universe, physical and mental. He is also learned to control his body and mind."
 
"In short, emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you got to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion." (excerpt from the book “Burnout” - by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski
if you're in a stuck emotion, if you are able to come into that space and breathe life into it, you're able to access a part of the universe that is transformative; that you can recreate, that you can go in there and Recode. . Does that make sense? Like if you get into the Akashic records, right, you go into a level where everything has history,  in the universe and all the universes in that empty space is where you can create. What you focus on grows right? In that empty space is where you can rewrite things.
 
So if you can harness that vital energy of the universe, and then infuse; channel the energy of that universe, that breath, into wherever you are. I think you can change in an instant what is happening in and around you.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
Fawn: [00:00:00]
 [00:00:00] Hello. Welcome to our table. Welcome to the table. Welcome to your table. Our house is your house. Technically, this is Mark Beran's and Kelly Beran's house, but you know what I mean? Our house is your house. mi casa es tu casa
Our home is your home. Our table is your table. This is all of our table. Is that right? The English and my grammar proper. Anyway, welcome everyone to the table. Our round table. Welcome to our friendly world today. We have Katie. We have, Paul, we have Beth. We have KJ. If anyone wants  to reach out to them, go to the show notes and all their links are there.
There are links are also on our website, https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/and you'll learn all about their [00:01:00] podcasts and everything that they're doing in the world. Check them out. Um, and also any, any other things, friendly reminders, anyone, anyone want to have a friendly reminder out there? Okay, man.
Hello. When did you say before we started the show, Matt, I have no idea. You said I need to take a breath. And that is ours. That is our topic today. We're talking about breath and really the reason why I wanted to talk about breath was this. So we were talking  Matt and I were talking  last week and I was like, oh my God.
I, I can't take anymore because we were talking about the news. I'm like what's. And I was trying to explain this country and that country, and this is happening here and all the pain here and all the pain ther...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Roundtable.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:06:23</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Blockchain and the Kingdom of Bling - Dirty Big Secrets Talk with Lisa Calkins]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Jul 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/blockchain-and-the-kingdom-of-bling-dirty-big-secrets-talk-with-lisa-calkins</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/blockchain-and-the-kingdom-of-bling-dirty-big-secrets-talk-with-lisa-calkins</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Lisa Calkins of Halfblast Studios joins our blockchain talk, but we get very human with it and talk about such things as fraud and the fact that it doesn't always just happen the way that you think it happens . Lisa explains credit card fraud and fraud in general.</p>
<p>Also, why you will never forget your password again…   Why taking a small step toward responsibility of your password management is good for you and good for other people.</p>
<p>Lisa gets very real and you will feel empowered. Here are some nuggets from the episode:</p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> -And one of the things that was so exciting to me and, valuable to me about blockchain was that I didn't understand it at all. I had to learn it and the whole team had to learn it. And those early entire year, every day I would learn something. And then the next day I would realize whatever I learned wasn't really right or true.And then I would learn again and then I wouldn't understand it. And then some would ask me a question. I have no idea how to answer it, and I would have to learn it again. And what an exciting time that is, professionally and personally.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> …adoption is always hard because actually most people don't like a lot of change. It's one of the misnomers in technology that people who aren't in technology think technologists are so innovative and creative and constantly like building new things and thinking very innovatively.</p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> … in any industry in teaching, there's only a subset of people who are really doing innovative work. Most of the other people, like the fact that everything stays in their framework that they're comfortable in. So blockchain is not that. And blockchain is really extremely different from a technology perspective.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> … blockchain is a piece of this big solution. It's not taking over the world. It's taking over a big piece of what was [00:12:00] not being done very well or solved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> … the dirty, big secrets. They're not dirty little secrets. They're dirty, big secrets. In systems today and in business today, there is an amazing amount of fraud. Unbelievable. In fact, I am the optimist quite, probably like Fawn. And when I was exposed to how much fraud there was, it made me so disheartened and sad and crazy. Like if we could help reduce fraud by a very small percentage, the amount of money that could be in the economy is insane.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>fraud doesn't always just happen the way that you think it happens . Lisa explains credit card fraud:</strong>  “So do you realize who actually paid for that fraud. It's the flower company, the credit card company takes the money back out of that small business transaction.</p>
<p>They go take the money out of, even up to six months later, some credit cards a year later, the money actually doesn't get lost in the middle. It's actually taken out of a small business.”…” The small business is the one that loses out. The small business is the one who is actually the end result of fraud. Well, let's talk about it. How are they going to change the world and force us to change our model? [00:26:00] Usually it's because consumers help drive that, right? The mass people drive that change, but you don't even know or realize it's happening, right?</p>
<p> If everybody realized my local flower shop my local restaurant, the coffee shop, the doughnut shop, whatever it is, a person selling, whatever, even startups, creating new companies, even selling online, whatever it might be. They're the ones who it comes out of their account. And so it's part of doing business. They have to do a write off account. They have to manage the fact that there's going to be loss. And they're the ones who are paying for it. Here's the thing, the credit card compan...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Lisa Calkins of Halfblast Studios joins our blockchain talk, but we get very human with it and talk about such things as fraud and the fact that it doesn't always just happen the way that you think it happens . Lisa explains credit card fraud and fraud in general.
Also, why you will never forget your password again…   Why taking a small step toward responsibility of your password management is good for you and good for other people.
Lisa gets very real and you will feel empowered. Here are some nuggets from the episode:
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: -And one of the things that was so exciting to me and, valuable to me about blockchain was that I didn't understand it at all. I had to learn it and the whole team had to learn it. And those early entire year, every day I would learn something. And then the next day I would realize whatever I learned wasn't really right or true.And then I would learn again and then I wouldn't understand it. And then some would ask me a question. I have no idea how to answer it, and I would have to learn it again. And what an exciting time that is, professionally and personally.
 
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: …adoption is always hard because actually most people don't like a lot of change. It's one of the misnomers in technology that people who aren't in technology think technologists are so innovative and creative and constantly like building new things and thinking very innovatively.
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: … in any industry in teaching, there's only a subset of people who are really doing innovative work. Most of the other people, like the fact that everything stays in their framework that they're comfortable in. So blockchain is not that. And blockchain is really extremely different from a technology perspective.
 
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: … blockchain is a piece of this big solution. It's not taking over the world. It's taking over a big piece of what was [00:12:00] not being done very well or solved.
 
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: … the dirty, big secrets. They're not dirty little secrets. They're dirty, big secrets. In systems today and in business today, there is an amazing amount of fraud. Unbelievable. In fact, I am the optimist quite, probably like Fawn. And when I was exposed to how much fraud there was, it made me so disheartened and sad and crazy. Like if we could help reduce fraud by a very small percentage, the amount of money that could be in the economy is insane.
 
 
fraud doesn't always just happen the way that you think it happens . Lisa explains credit card fraud:  “So do you realize who actually paid for that fraud. It's the flower company, the credit card company takes the money back out of that small business transaction.
They go take the money out of, even up to six months later, some credit cards a year later, the money actually doesn't get lost in the middle. It's actually taken out of a small business.”…” The small business is the one that loses out. The small business is the one who is actually the end result of fraud. Well, let's talk about it. How are they going to change the world and force us to change our model? [00:26:00] Usually it's because consumers help drive that, right? The mass people drive that change, but you don't even know or realize it's happening, right?
 If everybody realized my local flower shop my local restaurant, the coffee shop, the doughnut shop, whatever it is, a person selling, whatever, even startups, creating new companies, even selling online, whatever it might be. They're the ones who it comes out of their account. And so it's part of doing business. They have to do a write off account. They have to manage the fact that there's going to be loss. And they're the ones who are paying for it. Here's the thing, the credit card compan...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Blockchain and the Kingdom of Bling - Dirty Big Secrets Talk with Lisa Calkins]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Lisa Calkins of Halfblast Studios joins our blockchain talk, but we get very human with it and talk about such things as fraud and the fact that it doesn't always just happen the way that you think it happens . Lisa explains credit card fraud and fraud in general.</p>
<p>Also, why you will never forget your password again…   Why taking a small step toward responsibility of your password management is good for you and good for other people.</p>
<p>Lisa gets very real and you will feel empowered. Here are some nuggets from the episode:</p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> -And one of the things that was so exciting to me and, valuable to me about blockchain was that I didn't understand it at all. I had to learn it and the whole team had to learn it. And those early entire year, every day I would learn something. And then the next day I would realize whatever I learned wasn't really right or true.And then I would learn again and then I wouldn't understand it. And then some would ask me a question. I have no idea how to answer it, and I would have to learn it again. And what an exciting time that is, professionally and personally.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> …adoption is always hard because actually most people don't like a lot of change. It's one of the misnomers in technology that people who aren't in technology think technologists are so innovative and creative and constantly like building new things and thinking very innovatively.</p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> … in any industry in teaching, there's only a subset of people who are really doing innovative work. Most of the other people, like the fact that everything stays in their framework that they're comfortable in. So blockchain is not that. And blockchain is really extremely different from a technology perspective.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> … blockchain is a piece of this big solution. It's not taking over the world. It's taking over a big piece of what was [00:12:00] not being done very well or solved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA:</strong> … the dirty, big secrets. They're not dirty little secrets. They're dirty, big secrets. In systems today and in business today, there is an amazing amount of fraud. Unbelievable. In fact, I am the optimist quite, probably like Fawn. And when I was exposed to how much fraud there was, it made me so disheartened and sad and crazy. Like if we could help reduce fraud by a very small percentage, the amount of money that could be in the economy is insane.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>fraud doesn't always just happen the way that you think it happens . Lisa explains credit card fraud:</strong>  “So do you realize who actually paid for that fraud. It's the flower company, the credit card company takes the money back out of that small business transaction.</p>
<p>They go take the money out of, even up to six months later, some credit cards a year later, the money actually doesn't get lost in the middle. It's actually taken out of a small business.”…” The small business is the one that loses out. The small business is the one who is actually the end result of fraud. Well, let's talk about it. How are they going to change the world and force us to change our model? [00:26:00] Usually it's because consumers help drive that, right? The mass people drive that change, but you don't even know or realize it's happening, right?</p>
<p> If everybody realized my local flower shop my local restaurant, the coffee shop, the doughnut shop, whatever it is, a person selling, whatever, even startups, creating new companies, even selling online, whatever it might be. They're the ones who it comes out of their account. And so it's part of doing business. They have to do a write off account. They have to manage the fact that there's going to be loss. And they're the ones who are paying for it. Here's the thing, the credit card companies who is, we want to change the system.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: </strong>You don't think about anything except what the media tells us, what the company tells us and what we want to believe in. And so I love the fact that blockchain can change and help us drive these types of solutions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA</strong>:  If we let go of this preconceived notion of, I can't work in an industry because I'm against it,  shopping at Walmart or the oil and gas industry or meat, and we realized that reducing things makes it so much better for all of us, regardless of what those products are. It really does it in the end. It's helping our society, the world at large.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> To reach Lisa:  <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisacalkins/detail/contact-info/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisacalkins/detail/contact-info/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello. Oh my goodness. Do you want to introduce,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:09] Hey, we are joined by my former boss’s boss’s , boss. I think. What do you mean? You think there was a lot of levels. The former CEO of Amadeus consulting and the current CEO of half blast studios, Lisa and yeah,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:28] she is a mover and a shaker.</p>
<p>Hello, Lisa. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello, thank you for coming to talk to us. So I'm going to jump in with a nugget of wisdom. You ready everybody? Well, first of all, welcome everyone. Welcome to our friendly world. We are continuing with blockchain and how it is empowering us and how it's bringing a whole new world of interconnectedness  and a sense of belonging and a sense of [00:01:00] power and a sense of what else, like really, like, you know, if you're just tuning into this particular episode or the last one on blockchain, you're like, what does this have to do with friendship?</p>
<p>It has everything to do with it. The more powerful we are in all aspects of life, especially in business and money, all of that, it does affect our families and our families are the ones that we were born into and the ones that we create along the way, this is a big deal guys. So to continue, we have our beautiful guest here, Lisa Calkins.</p>
<p> Thank you so much for being here.</p>
<p>And I'm going to jump into a nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica, a little flashback,  kind of like, uh, uh, I'm remembering all the ways, all the lessons that were taught and this one was just a constant throughout, but I want to say the majority of us in that little community, we [00:02:00] were all forging our own paths in our careers, especially. We didn't work for anyone else.</p>
<p>I mean, we did because we were all in the industry in some way, but we were all, I don't like the term independent contractors.  We all owned our own company. If you will. You know, we owned our, our creativity. We we took charge of it. In all aspects, formed our own LLCs and moved on with whatever we were doing, whether it was documentary photography, makeup, wardrobe, writing, we had to be our own bosses.</p>
<p>We had to create our own way. We were not dependent on a job job, which is why when people came to the neighborhood, they were always confused. Like don't, doesn't anybody work around here as what we heard all the time, because you know, it was Santa Monica was on the border of Venice beach, the boardwalk.</p>
<p>And it seemed like [00:03:00] everybody was out frolicking all day, every day. But that's because we didn't have the nine to five gigs. Sometimes we would go three weeks without work. And then when we did work, it was insane, hard work busy, but, um, you know, it taught us a new way. And for me, I remember this one day.</p>
<p>I felt like I couldn't handle the stress  of having my own thing; not knowing where your next gig is coming from, not knowing where your next paycheck is coming from, because you have to hustle to get an assignment. You have to hustle to promote whatever it is you're doing, so it can get funded.</p>
<p>And I remember there was this one guy who was very quiet. He hung out at the coffee bean and he looked hardcore. He had the chains on him and the tattoos and the cigarette and very unapproachable looking. Right. So I went up to him one day. I'm [00:04:00] like, can you please tell me your Juju? Like, can you help me?</p>
<p>Because I am freaking out all day every day. And you seem like your feathers never get ruffled. You're always calm. And I know you own your own business and you're, you know, You're just always calm, like no big deal. And he just, he told me, yeah, because you learn every day. And as soon as you realize that it never stops, you kind of melt into that.</p>
<p>You kind of go with that, that there is no what you consider security and that's your security. Like, you're just, you're always, it, it will work out. You just have to keep going everyday and not think too much about it. Just do your work. So forging your own path. It can be really scary and  it's an awesome way to be.</p>
<p>And we're in a world now when I was little, all my friends were very [00:05:00] intuitive and we could see that all these people that work, you know, like our parents who are so involved in the company, the company ethics, and like work for the company and your life revolves around the company.</p>
<p>Yes. But really your life revolves around your own creativity and your ability to offer great substance, great value to another human being. That that is, that is it. And we all do that. If you're a business owner or if you're an employee, whatever we're offering help to one another.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:39] Yes, absolutely. And we're also the other, one of the key things I think in life is obviously your relationships with others too.</p>
<p>Of course. Yeah. Well, let's not, you know, you were very focused on, it seemed like you were very focused on money and</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:05:52] career, I suppose.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:55] I know. And it was weird. It was very strange.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:57] Well, all right. All right. So let's, so [00:06:00] that's my nugget of wisdom. Forging your own path. Right. And I'm saying that because I see that in Lisa Cockins Lisa, thank you for being here today and I'll let you, you all go for it. I have no idea how I'm going to contribute to this conversation, but I'll give it a whirl. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:18] Okay.  So Lisa,  it was 2018 and  we got the news, we got acquired by Exadel and you had maintained a nice high level position.</p>
<p>And then all of a sudden you left; boom. And you left to work on blockchain. Why 2018? What did you see? What did you not see at that point?</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:06:39] Wow. So, um, yeah, I well, one, I have to go back and say, Fawn, I loved your truth and your wisdom because it really just ties into what we're talking about today.  You were talking about learning every day. And one of the things that was so [00:07:00] exciting to me and, valuable to me about blockchain was that I didn't understand it at all. I had to learn it and the whole team had to learn it. And those early entire year, every day I would learn something. And then the next day I would realize whatever I learned wasn't really right or true.</p>
<p>And then I would learn again and then I wouldn't understand it. And then some would ask me a question. I have no idea how to answer it, and I would have to learn it again. And what an exciting time that is,  professionally and personally. And so those early days of having left Exodel and started this blockchain company, this technology company that was gonna be focused on these really innovative technologies specifically, blockchain was really exciting. And I, I love and still do learning every day. And I would say of [00:08:00] all of the technologies that are happening today, and there still are a lot of new technologies and movement going forward.</p>
<p>This one in particular, took everything we had known and kind of turned it upside down. And I think that's, what's so exciting about it. And it's also, it's so challenging because the adoption of it, it has been incredibly, um, it hasn't happened as much as I would've hoped and believed and thought. And partly because for most technologists, this is not the way that we do things.</p>
<p>This is not how we've been doing things for two, three decades. Our design principles, the core things that technologists have banked on and believed in this is not that. And  so adoption is always hard because actually most people don't like a lot of change. They really don't, they're comfortable.</p>
<p>They like what they do. They're knowledgeable at what they do. It's one of the misnomers in technology that people who aren't in [00:09:00] technology think technologists are so innovative and creative and constantly like building new things and thinking very innovatively. A subset of all industries, people thinking about it, innovatively, most people  in any industry  in the  industry, you have built a career in, and the one that Matt has built a career in, in marketing, in any industry in teaching, there's only a subset of people who are really doing innovative work. Most of the other people, like the fact that everything stays in their framework, that they're comfortable in. So blockchain is not that. And blockchain is really extremely different from a technology perspective.</p>
<p>And I think that's important because actually we haven't seen that, that often in technology we've seen innovation that other people could look at and adopt and grow with and not have to learn something completely new, especially from their framework and blockchain is that. So, [00:10:00] I think it ties into what Fawn was talking about with learning every day.</p>
<p>And that ties into the attractiveness of this particular space.  So I had seen some leads and I had heard about some things related to blockchain and I truly believe that it really can and is the next generation of a large part of  a technology ecosystem. And when I say technology ecosystem these days, it's because it's also important to remember that there are lots of pieces of a solution for enterprise companies and for government solutions and for any end to end solution.</p>
<p>And it's because not only do you have  an app on a mobile phone, but you connect that to pieces that are in the cloud that are in this technology piece and then those connect to other systems. And [00:11:00] then those systems actually connect to ways for lots of people in an organization. Maybe it's a webpage, maybe it's a report.</p>
<p>Maybe it's data that's being passed to another company for paying bills or invoicing or inventory. Maybe it's placing orders for another piece of inventory that you need to get into your warehouse, maybe it's warehouse. So, so companies use technology now, so broad and wide that I never want anybody to think oh, so blockchain now is, the solution and solves all technology for all things for all companies. It is a part of a solution. You still will use mobile technologies and web technologies  and CRM  or a contact relationship management and inventory warehouse systems and fulfillment systems. All of those systems play together.</p>
<p>And so blockchain is a piece of this big solution. It's not taking over the world. It's taking over a big piece of what was [00:12:00] not being done very well  or solved. That's, what's exciting about it, but here's the thing about it. No one sees it. It's part of this backend thing. So we don't, um, not when, when we adopted the internet.</p>
<p>When we adopted mobile apps, people, regular people saw all of that. Right. I would add, I have my phone. I can see new types of apps when the web was first started. Like I can go to a webpage and more web pages than I could interact and I could do things. So this technology has zero. Yeah, really zero from a, from a blockchain, a pure blockchain impact.</p>
<p>We'll talk about cryptocurrency, but from a blockchain impact, there's zero interaction with consumers and with people. And so that makes it also more challenging to understand and more challenging to learn and harder to get companies to actually adopt and use. They also don't adopt it and use it because probably the [00:13:00] two areas where it gains the most value are ones;</p>
<p>I call them the dirty, big secrets. They're not dirty little secrets. They're dirty, big secrets. In systems today and in business today, there is an amazing amount of fraud. Unbelievable. In fact, I am the optimist quite, probably like Fawn. And when I was exposed to how much fraud there was, it made me so disheartened and sad and crazy.</p>
<p>Like if we could help reduce fraud by a very small percentage, the amount of money that could be in the economy is insane. And everybody's just doing it. Like it's not happening and it's growing. And it's crazy to me and fraud, no one, no, no honest. Most people don't want fraud. Like there's, this is the thing that none of us want businesses don't want it. Companies don't want it. People don't want [00:14:00] it. People don't want to be ripped off,  don't want people to steal things. It bothers people and there's an amazing amount of it.  And we just kind of accept it because it's happening and we're not sure what to do with it or about it. So I think, but here's the thing.</p>
<p>Tell me which marketing is going to be like, Hey, we're going to go adopt blockchain because, well, we have a big fraud problems that that's not on the marketing list of things you want to talk about in your company. You also don't want to talk about how many times your systems are broken into and data is stolen,  your systems being invaded, broken. Uh, security; obviously there's a lot of hype right now over The cyber takeovers and the things that are happening on that level, and people are even talking about it.</p>
<p>But even then no one wants to talk about it. And it's not on a list of things the company wants to talk about. Here's the thing. It's not just a marketing thing that they don't want to talk about it though. [00:15:00] Internally. Nobody wants to talk about it. Let's imagine I'm in charge of IT. I am in charge of the entire corporate IT for ,pick your company.</p>
<p>Do you think, I want to tell the CEO all vulnerable assistants that I run, how much fraud there is going on. I want to how much security holes there really are because here's the problem: the person who gets blamed as the person who would be saying what a big problem.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:26] That's why I got fired from so many jobs, because I</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:15:30] you're</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:30] the whistle</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:15:30] blower.</p>
<p>No one really wants to talk about it because, and here's the problem also. It's not like, even if I talk about it, I'd be like, yeah, I got this. I got an easy solution for us. Implementing a blockchain solution in an organization, unfortunately, and I guess it's because it solves such big problems. It's super expensive.</p>
<p>It's very hard and expensive. That's the reality of it. Creating a web page or [00:16:00] interacting, creating your first public website. When those first came out, it was cheap. This is expensive. This is taking systems that have been built upon for 20 years; the glue between all of these systems and building it from scratch and redesigning and redeveloping with the resources that are not to be found and are incredibly expensive with technology that is brand new.</p>
<p>If the risk is high, the cost is high. And so, yeah, let me go tell the CEO of the company, let me go figure out how I'm going to put this solution, which is phenomenal in a company. Right from an it perspective. Adoption is hard. This isn't a, an easy fix, but these are big problems and these are significant problems and they can have such great results and impacts.</p>
<p>And yet they're very expensive. Anyway, that was a very long answer to your first [00:17:00] question. I promise I can try to keep them shorter.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:03] Lisa. I totally see everything you're saying. I thought I was scared of you guys, honestly, coming into this episode today because I thought, oh my God, I'm not going to understand what you're saying, but that was so human and I, everything you said I could relate to on so many levels, not just business blockchain, but there's so much that is wrong because we don't communicate because we don't want to face our emotions because we don't want, to talk about things.</p>
<p>and for me, you know, because I guess I'm, I don't know, they call it naive. I'm like, let's talk about it guys. And that's why I would always get fired because I'm like, whoa, can we talk about this? And people don't want to, and  people like me or like an entity, like me tends to get  thrown out, like get out of here.</p>
<p>We don't want to talk about it. So I'm so glad that you phrased it the way you did. I totally understand what you were saying. It's so beautiful and human, human. Thank you.</p>
<p>[00:18:00] <strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:18:00] Well,</p>
<p>let's talk about real examples Fawn, because you're going to love them because let's think about where there's fraud. Because where there's fraud, there's good opportunities for this type of a solution.</p>
<p>Some are obvious to you. Oh, go right ahead.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:18:13] Literally reading my mind. I was totally going to say. Okay. Okay. So you mentioned fraud and fraud. Is this, you know, fraud is a great word, but what do you mean specifically? So we're brilliant. Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:18:25] Yeah. So, so most people are aware of some fraud and we think about it.</p>
<p>Let's think about it. We had an election that everybody was talking about voting fraud, right? So voting fantastic opportunity for blockchain because one of the key things about blockchain is it doesn't really help. It can help in one entity and in one company by itself. But really its great value is when there's connectivity, which you eat, both of you even just talked about from the very beginning, it's not [00:19:00] about me.</p>
<p>It's about the relationships and it's all about relationships in business and personal. And the relationships are because multiple entities, different stakeholders, all have a piece of,  , contribution and use in a blockchain environment. That's where it's best used. So voting; every individual wants to vote and the vote wants to count, but there's all of these rules around it because you want to try to keep all of the fraud that is an opportunity for it out of it. And so actually there's probably even less players in voting than there would be in others. But there's lots of stakeholders that are all wanting both to turn out a certain way.</p>
<p>Right. And really you do have stakeholders, you have media, right?  They want to know what results are going on and what they can talk about. In stories. You have individuals, you have parties, you have those running, you have donors, you have all of this [00:20:00] and if anybody doesn't think that our voting impacts the world, you have the world watching you and countries watching you when figuring those things out. And voting isn't just the president election. It's all of the elections that we have all of the time. And it's something that happens not all over the world.  But  in any democratic country in the world, there's voting, interestingly enough, there's also voting on shareholders vote in a company, right.  And there's voting in lots of other scenarios.</p>
<p>And so voting is a perfect example where if we could reduce fraud and know that there was an easy way to identify the one vote, one person kind of a model, it would really be a fantastic solution. So that's one example where there's a lot of fraud and it could be a really positive solution.</p>
<p>It's also one example where I remember I said, it's very expensive and somebody has to fund it. Well, the government, or some entity would have to, or [00:21:00] multiple entities would have to stand up and fund something like that. And so it's one of the great use cases, but it's one of the challenging implementations because it's going to take a while  to reinvent that solution between states and country and nationally and  a  complete unawareness of fear of something unknown. I know this works, but oh, I mean just electronic voting and mail-in voting and counting  is so suspect. So replacing it, unfortunately, I think it's going to take awhile.</p>
<p>Do I think that it will with a blockchain solution. Absolutely. Absolutely. But is it going to be a couple of decades? Unfortunately, I think that's the case. But when you start to think about where, you know, there's fraud, there's a great example and we're all aware of it. But what we  weren't aware is all of that internal fraud that's happening in companies.</p>
<p>Sure. I've heard about credit card fraud, right? I mean, we've heard about that. People are perfect. We've been, oh my</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:59] goodness. We've [00:22:00] had, we've had, I think four or five different  credit cards because of fraud. Yeah, absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:22:04] Except, you know, we make it really easy in our country. So what happened to you when you had the credit card fraud?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:10] Well, after the freakout. We call the bank and I, when it first happened, I'm like, oh my God, it's going to be years of fighting this charge. And they're like, okay. I'm like, what do you mean? Okay, it's done taken care of. And I think the first time it happened, you wanted to, you were asking the company, the credit card company, who the guy was</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:22:33] wanting to track him</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:34] down.</p>
<p>Okay. My story, I was working at UCLA as a contractor and I had gone to an ATM machine and I noticed my balance was off. I go back to my little desk, I log into, uh, to my, uh, to my bank. And I noticed that my credit card had charges on it at, for a particular company. And I was like, that's obviously not me.</p>
<p>So I called the company and I'm like, Hey. Yeah, uh, I made a charge and it was for flowers. And I was like, who did I deliver these to. [00:23:00] Because I wanted to find out because I wanted to obviously, you know, figure out who had stolen my credit card data and do something bad to them. Um, this would welcome to your twenties, right.</p>
<p>Uh, and, uh, and I called and they wouldn't tell me. And I was like, but I made the charge. Where did I send my flowers to? And they wouldn't tell me I was so mad</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:22] and it happened to me. It was on my, um, my photography account. So it was on a photo shoot and I had to go get something. And I knew when I was buying it, something was amiss.</p>
<p>And then I forgot about it. You know, like whatever I just go on. And a couple of weeks later, Uh, charge shows up on my bill and we still laugh about it to this day, someone charged a whole bunch of money to the kingdom of bling. That's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:49] right. I forgot.</p>
<p>I was like, what</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:23:52] is this?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:53] But I love that title.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:23:55] That, that is a business that is an obfuscated business name [00:24:00] right there.</p>
<p>I don't know what they were doing, but</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:03] there you go. You know, like Kingdom of Bling. It was, um, it was a gift, but it was, it was wild to me how the credit card companies treated it. Like it was no big deal and just went on with it.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:24:18] And then actually they treated it like it was no big deal so that you really stop worrying about it.</p>
<p>So, okay. It happened, but they just run it off your credit card. Right? I mean, that's it, it's fine. So let's trace that a little bit more though. And you're going to see where the problem of fraud and how hard it is to get us to change our ways. So let's go back to the flowers, the flower company. So, so in order to that place with a flower company, and you were mad at that person, I always get mad at the person who stole your credit card.</p>
<p>Right. Except here's where we really should. And yeah, I'm mad at them, but, so, so what happened with the money? Because actually the [00:25:00] flowers got ordered right. From that flower shop. Right. And the flower shop actually delivered them to someone probably. Yeah. Yeah. So do you realize who actually paid for that fraud. It's the flower company, the credit card company takes the money back out of that small business transaction.</p>
<p>They go take the money out of, even up to six months later, some credit cards a year later, the money actually doesn't get lost in the middle. It's actually taken out of a small business. And as we know, most consumer business, these days actually all flows down to really a lot of small businesses that are providing those services.</p>
<p>The small business is the one that loses out. The small business is the one who is actually the end result of fraud. Well, let's talk about it. How are they going to change the world and force us to change our model? [00:26:00] Usually it's because consumers help drive that, right? The mass people drive that change, but you don't even know or realize it's happening, right?</p>
<p> If everybody realized my local flower shop my local restaurant, the coffee shop, the doughnut shop, whatever it is, a person selling, whatever, even startups, creating new companies, even selling online, whatever it might be. They're the ones who it comes out of their account.</p>
<p>And so it's part of doing business. They have to do a write off account. They have to manage the fact that there's going to be loss. And they're the ones who are paying for it. Here's the thing, the credit card companies who is, we want to change the system. Right. And not just pass it down the chain because let's be clear.</p>
<p>Sometimes it passes down the chain a little bit longer than it does, right. To them in person. They're the ones who are making sure you feel fine. Right. Hey, other people's money. It's a lot easier for [00:27:00] me to be like, oh, no problem, Matt. I'll just put that money back on your credit card. No problem Fawn, we've got it for you. Yeah. It's easy to say we've got it for you when you're going to go take that money from that percentage and pay you. So here's the thing about fraud is that it's not one easy solution that one company cares about often. It's embedded in these chains. Beautiful word, right? It's a chain of people involved because the interesting thing is even when you place a credit card transaction and purchase something, if you look at the life cycle of what that chain is, it's very long and there's lots of players involved in the chain most often.</p>
<p>And so the fraud doesn't always just, happen the way that you think it happens in getting companies to change it. But you'd be like, well, I want the credit card company to implement blockchain and change this whole system. Well, why they're not the ones who are paying the big bills. It's actually that small [00:28:00] business, and that small business, they can't even if they wanted to invest in blockchain technology, they have to get the credit current companies to do that. Right. And they're not changing. So you can see that even though we have fraud and our system changing it, when there's multiple players is really hard.</p>
<p>Now let's talk about something positive and things that are changing, because thank God I want blockchain to be about positive examples that it's happening. And I think that the example that I love to talk is not one that I've done, but it's the one that I love to talk about because we can understand it is the one that actually got implemented for Walmart .</p>
<p>And, listen, my husband's a Boulder native, uh, Walmart is not always a friendly term that's been used in my household for many times, but I love the solution. And I want everybody to think about it and let go of the company that's implementing it. But they did it for was for traceability of food and food products.</p>
<p>[00:29:00] Right. And they did with lettuce. And actually, I want to even say, it's almost been 10 years now in the making of salmonella and lettuce  and lettuce contamination and us all being, and then it was melons, right? And we were all talking about food, contaminate blockchain. They implemented a blockchain solution to be able to track the lettuce faster.</p>
<p> These are the examples where blockchain gets implemented and it took a big company that has big money and actually kind of pushed around a bit of their weight for the better. And here's what happened.</p>
<p>The lettuce actually could have come from another country. So let's just say it was coming from a farm in Mexico. It actually goes from the farm onto a truck that's owned by somebody else take into a warehouse that's owned by now another company that warehouse has to transport it let's say it was on another shipping container that [00:30:00] went to a port that went up the coast, and now it's on a boat, different company. And then the company that takes it off of the boat and puts it on a train and then that train goes to, or a truck and it goes to deliver it to a, another warehouse that goes now to let's just say my grocery store down the street.</p>
<p>And I even excluded a bunch of people in there. Knowing that that lettuce, that came on this now, big shipping container that got into my grocery store. The thing about it is that lettuce, my gosh,  by the time it came to me, knowing which farm it came from, the way I drew the picture seems easy.</p>
<p>But when that lettuce got in that first warehouse, And seven farmers all put their lettuce in that warehouse and all of that got one-on-one great tracking. My lettuce  could take forever. Right.  And then of course, as I can continue, right. [00:31:00] That crate got combined with other ones, because we've all seen those shipping, especially after what happened in the canal.</p>
<p>Those shipping crates are huge. So can you imagine how much lettuce is all put into one crate tracking where that lettuce came from is challenging? I don't literally Walmart was having these issues and wanted to do a recall. They literally just have to recall all the lettuce. They do know the lettuce's age range.</p>
<p>They know about when it came from and they could track that down. They literally have to just get rid of all of the lettuce for the most part in, in all of the stores, in an entire region and dump it all and dump it all out of them. And it's because even when they tried and they do, they try to track down the scenario, it would take three to four weeks of going through their systems.</p>
<p>And a lot of them were electronic, but you're piecing together all of these systems to try to track down which, which farm that came from. So then you'd stop [00:32:00] delivering from that farm until they solve the problem. Right. So you've got weeks of throwing things out. So Fawn already, is like, oh my God, all the stuff that gets thrown out.</p>
<p>Yeah. Not only is it all getting thrown out, but people got sick and then they're liable for the people who got sick. Especially in our country, we have a big liability, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? So they implemented a solution of blockchain solution that all of the people along the path have to contribute to this blockchain.</p>
<p>They have to scan products with little scanners, barcodes, barcodes on the lettuce. Right. We know there's a barcode on the list because our grocery store, that's how we pay for it. The bar code on the shipping container. That's not to say that specific lettuce in this particular case, but the container that the farmer used and then that container that I got added to, and then the next container, everybody had to scan along the way and say where that lettuce was and they, and what incentivize them to scan.</p>
<p>Hey, I'm [00:33:00] not paying you unless you scan that material and you put it. In fact, I can't use you as a vendor, unless you do this. There you go. So the small businesses were like, damn, I do have a little bit more of an expense because I've got to scan things. Here's the thing that they learned in the system  and this wasn't all blockchain.</p>
<p>See the scanning device, isn't blockchain. The technology of how to scan isn't blockchain, but the ability to use some of these new cool ways to do things and put it on the blockchain is why blockchain was enabled. So blockchain is kind of that thing in the backend. That's going to keep track of all of these things. But, all of these things along the way, mobile devices, it could have been a phone that scans something, right? All of these different pieces put something on the blockchain and they literally took a process of traceability, of tracking where that lettuce came from from three to four weeks to three minutes to two minutes.</p>
<p>If I know in two minutes where that came from, I can go to that one [00:34:00] particular farm and any places those got distributed, pull that product and all the rest is fine. Right? Well, we're all going to cheer</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:08] and morning, almost, not necessarily more importantly, but you know, the, the issue may not be with that lettuce.</p>
<p>It may have been in the shipping container, or it may be in a warehouse or it may be, and you can track all of that all the way down so you can maybe investigate the lettuce. No, the lettuce is fine. Okay. Where else might it be? And  you can go through that whole process, but you have the whole, transmission history, if you will, of this piece of data or this lettuce.</p>
<p>So you can actually then take a look everywhere it's been  and take a look at all of those other places as well.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:34:40] Well, here's the thing we all can attach to the, uh, somebody got sick from the lettuce and we all can relate to that story. And the marketing team has done a great job of making that really easy for us to consume.</p>
<p>Here's the other big value that Walmart is gaining that no one is actually talking about, because [00:35:00] we don't want to talk about the dirty big secrets. You'll see fraud happens in any supply chain delivery system, especially when there's unfortunately lots of money, right? A little bit more money for a lot of people.</p>
<p>There's enough people who feel like they want to cheat the system. And actually when they don't get caught, they kind of feel like it's not that bad. Here's what was happening. There was enough players. And we just talked about lettuce. Think about how many products that are even just consumable products, that, and non-consumable products that Walmart has.</p>
<p>And all of these supply chains. See out of the hundred people; we'll just make up a number and please know this is not in the Walmart story. I just know that I  read enough bad things. And I don't know that it's a hundred in this chain, but let's say there's 100. 10% of them were willing to cheat these a hundred players.</p>
<p>That means 10% of them used to say, I got, [00:36:00] I got 50 crates here and I type in 50. I put, and how many did I really get? I really got 40, but I get paid. I get paid based on how many I transport all along the way people are paid based on quantity. And so when it's a manual system, it's much easier when there's a person who's looking at something who says, okay, this is how many I have.</p>
<p>That is a much easier thing to cheat than I have to scan this label on this crate. And this label said that there was this many in there. I can't fake that number. I, I don't even know how to go back into the system and change that number. I scanned  it .When it's a crate that had a weight and the weight is on a shipping container and it automatically got entered when it got on the scale, I can't cheat it. And so by implementing new technology, which actually that [00:37:00] technology had nothing to do again with blockchain, it had to do with technologies that we have today that are enabling technology solutions for the successful automatic ability.</p>
<p>We often grouped those into the IOT, the internet of things, sensors, labeled the sensor  in a crate that's communicating all of the different ways that we're taking data and being able to put them on the blockchain. We really don't need a lot of humans anymore to be taking data. When you don't need humans, that means the truth is told most of the time. Now let's be clear out of those 10% that we're cheating. 1% are finding a way to still cheat. They're finding a way to put some Astro await into something that doesn't get caught or whatever it is. There's always going to be people who are trying to cheat you, but if you can reduce the number of people trying to cheat you, you gained a lot of money in not being ripped off because this company ripped you off.</p>
<p>And this one, and when there's a hundred companies in this path and 10% of them ripped you off by a little bit, all the time, let's be clear. They never rip you off by, [00:38:00] you know, uh, enough that they'd be noticeable. It's those little bits that add up. So it reduced fraud significantly. And that's fantastic.</p>
<p>We all love that story too. We really do. It's just that, that one's not the one being talked about. And why is it that one the one that I love? It's because that's what's funding these changes because unfortunately just the lettuce wouldn't probably have funded it. This is big. These are big, expensive, multiple years systems. And you're going to require all of these vendors to do it and et cetera, et cetera. And so these types of things, if they can reduce fraud, then that money can come back into these systems and then we can build systems and then we can use systems. So I loved the story because now you can wrap your head around, wow, if that works for lettuce, I bet it would work for all of these other types of things, too. Tracking pharmaceutical drugs that are perishable, right?  Tracking.  Our list is endless of tracking in these chains and it's why you're seeing the [00:39:00] most implementation of blockchain applications are with chains and multiple companies with multiple paths of driving and handling and things.</p>
<p>But you know what, as a consumer, we don't need; I don't ever think about these things. And I don't, I just know when I bought, when I got my drug at the pharmacy at Walgreens, that I hope it's the right product. I hope that it's made with the right materials. I hope nobody put anything shitty in it. I trust that this product I got is good.</p>
<p>Right. And just think about all the players all along the way for one product that could have tampered with it or not known what the real products were that got put into it, that you didn't know who touched it. And what's it in the refrigeration long enough. And, oh my God, we don't think about anything.</p>
<p>You don't think about anything except what the media tells us, what the company tells us and what we want to believe [00:40:00] in. And so I love the fact that blockchain can change and help us drive these types of solutions. But boy, that was the completely Matt wanted to talk techie. That was probably the non-techie version of all of this blockchain that I shared.</p>
<p>Well, here we</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:19] go. So I was actually thinking about voting for a second and voting is in many ways, kind of a supply chain issue, right? Because I vote.  And let's say I do it old school. I actually, um, no, well, yeah, let's do it old school. So I actually go to a voting machine. I placed my vote at a local precinct.</p>
<p>Then the votes need to go. I'm guessing they need to go to a county to, to be counted. And then, the results of those votes need to be transmitted maybe to the state and then obviously up the chain, depending on what kind of an election it is. And that sounds an awful lot like I'm moving lettuce around.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:40:56] Yeah. The interesting thing that we, that I didn't talk [00:41:00] about in this blockchain solution is this piece that has to do with cryptocurrency really. And where cryptocurrency, everybody now has, I think most people now know Bitcoin. It's funny, three years ago when I was in a cab, wherever I was, uh, Saudi Arabia to, um, to Poland to the  U S there was always somebody, oh, Yeah, my brother or my uncle told me, or blah, blah, blah.</p>
<p>It's funny right after. Yeah, I started the company. I was talking to my aunt who is 82 and she said, oh, I know all about Bitcoin. In fact, Lisa, could you invest some money into Bitcoin for me? I thought, oh my God, my 82 year old aunt knows about Bitcoin. How does she know anything about Bitcoin?  This is so exciting to me because if my 80 plus year old aunt knows about Bitcoin, I think the world's going to know about Bitcoin very quickly.</p>
<p>Of course I knew about Bitcoin, but maybe not blockchain. With said, it's because she heard an NPR [00:42:00] special and she listens to NPR on the radio and NPR ran a special on Bitcoin three years ago. It was a whole hour long. And she learned all of this stuff about Bitcoin. And I don't know that it was that year.</p>
<p>I think it was probably 18 months later that I did put like a hundred dollars on. I don't invest for anyone, but my aunt was so sweet. And so he gave me a hundred dollars and put it into Bitcoin. And even though Bitcoin has gone up and down, let's be clear. Her a hundred dollars is worth more than a hundred dollars these days.</p>
<p>Bitcoin. How does cryptocurrency relate? Well, cryptocurrency the model of money and transferring money and paying for things; just like I talked about a credit card, there's lots of opportunities for fraud. Anytime it has to do with money, there is an opportunity for fraud. And so blockchain is the technology that these inputs are going on to ensure that there isn't fraud.</p>
<p>Right? So money is used fraudulently to buy and sell. And so money was [00:43:00] not wasn't the case with that said owner of something is, and I'm going back to voting the thing about voting is we often, yes. I want you to know, I voted. But I don't need the public to know how I voted and the public can tell some things about that, but you want to have some things private, just like, I don't need the public to know how much money is in my bank account.</p>
<p> I need to know how much money is in my bank account. And even today it's a little tricky, right? I, if I want you to pay me, I don't really want to tell you my bank account because that feels unsafe and it kind of is, but I need to give you ways to tell, we need to communicate to these, um, in that chain, I need to communicate a way, but I don't want to always tell you my social security number.</p>
<p>Right? I don't want to always tell you something that identifies me. And so in this cryptocurrency blockchain world, we are using technology that's been around a while. [00:44:00] The inventor of the Bitcoin cryptocurrency implemented it on blockchain. And that was the beginning of blockchain. And then that model of blockchain is used in the Walmart example.</p>
<p>They don't have to use Bitcoin, doesn't have to do anything to do with it. It just has to do with the backend and that that's stuck in the tech in the back, but in the voting example and in Bitcoin and in cryptocurrencies, we have these things called keys. And the best way to think about it is we do have not everybody has a wallet anymore today.</p>
<p>Our wallet sometimes is our phone. Right. But if you think about a wallet, when you put some money in your wallet right now, when you went to, or a credit card in your wallet, that has a number on it. When you go somewhere you're transacting  by giving somebody some money. And quite honestly, today, you don't have to say what your name is.</p>
<p>If you want to pay for something in cash, you don't have to say your name. You can just give them cash.  Bitcoin created these things like a wallet and for you to communicate and to [00:45:00] give money to somebody else, you just need to know what their wallet address is to give them money. And it's going to go from my wallet to their wallet, and I'm going to use these numbers to do that.</p>
<p>And there's this super cool hacky way of generating a unique number. So Fawn can create a unique number that she can tell Matt, but then that number goes away and there's a new number she can generate, but that number was created in a very cool way that it, the technology can know that Fawn, is the only one who can give that key and generate that key.</p>
<p>And no one can figure out what it was Fawn that did it. So it's a one way encryption. It talks about encryption and by being able to have these keys, we can exchange things with these keys in a very safe, secure way. So all of these players have keys that are in their wallet. There's been a lot of conversation and I'm sure everybody's heard about, oh, all these people who lost their Bitcoin and they can't recover [00:46:00] it anymore.</p>
<p>It's because they lost their key. And when you lose your key in our country, the number one use in any mobile app is "forgot password". Like we are just ignorant with keeping passwords, like, oh my God, we just say, oh, can you keep track of that for me? But every time we make a company keep track of our passwords, that means the company knows our passport.</p>
<p>And even though they're trying to keep it protected, they're the ones who know it. And the way that things are being stolen all the time, it's all fricking passwords these days. And it's because we are perfectly fine to say I keep my password. And then when somebody breaks into their systems, which let's be clear, it's really hard to protect the systems these days, these companies aren't doing anything wrong. It's just almost impossible to have secure backend systems and they're trying to steal passwords and then they still password so that they can, they can steal lots of things. And so we're just so flippant with our passwords in our country. I mean, we're just so therefore we're like, Hey, what do you mean?</p>
<p>I [00:47:00] lost my Bitcoin password. And it's like, no, remember that? Well that you got in your pocket. If you lose that on the street, maybe not in Santa Monica, but if you lose out on the street in any other city,  99% of the time, you're never getting your money back. Maybe you, maybe your wallet showed up, but not your money ever.</p>
<p>And so it's kind of funny. We just think, what do you mean if I lose something, I can't get it back electronically. Well, when you lose physical things, when you lose a diamond ring, when you lose money, when you lose anything of value, do you think it just gets returned? Not always. Sometimes. Sometimes, but no.</p>
<p>So there's the thing about keys, which we don't get used to. We're like, well, what do you mean if it's techie and I lose it, I should just. Aren't you responsible for giving it back to me the minute we make somebody else responsible for giving it back to you, it means they have to keep it. And when they have to keep it in store it, that means they're vulnerable.</p>
<p>And even though they're trying really hard to not let anybody steal your key, they really don't want anybody to steal your key. People are stealing your keys. And so, you [00:48:00] know, what's safer than that. You keep your key. You keep your key to your safe deposit box. You keep your key or your code or whatever it is and make you responsible for it. Problem is we are horribly irresponsible and we don't want the responsibility.</p>
<p>We want it to be somebody else's. So there's a huge problem with implementing really safe, secure models, using blockchain technology. And it's not actually blockchain it's actually to do with these cryptocurrency keys or where they're not even cryptocurrency keys, but this idea of keys. The systems break down because even today, when I build a new system, the safest way would be to make you responsible for your key.</p>
<p>And the first thing you do is lose your key and say, Hey company, Lisa company, Hey, can I have my key back? And you're like, no, I told you if you lost it, I gave you four screens of warnings. I said, do not lose this key. Do not lose this key right here. Care. If you write this key and put it in a safe deposit box, do not lose this key.</p>
<p>And let's [00:49:00] be clear. The key is very long. It's like a very long, set of numbers and you're like, yeah, yeah, but I lost that key and that's my money. That's my asset. That's my music. That's my art. That's my jewelry. That's my asset. And what do you mean? What do you mean? I can't, I can't prove that that's my asset anymore because I lost my key.</p>
<p>And you're like I told you not to lose it! So what, from anybody building blockchain solutions, what do we have to do? We have to keep your damn key for you and then we're vulnerable, right? As soon as I keep your key. Somebody's going to try to steal it. And then I got to protect it and I really wish you would have kept your keys.</p>
<p>Right? I really do. But a voting, Matt goes back to, if everybody wants to be accountable for their own key, then we're going to have to find ways to solve this key problem. Because when you vote, you get to use your key to vote. And when you lose your key, you wouldn't be able to vote. And this would fit that would break the whole, whole system down right away.</p>
<p>And I'm not saying there aren't some ways a key there's little hardware [00:50:00] keys, like, like on your fricking key chain, which we all got rid of. We all wanted to get rid of our key chains because when you lose your keys, you lose your keys. The thing about it is there's locksmiths. People can rebuild keys, companies, take responsibility for it and people don't.</p>
<p>So, all right, sorry. That was a tangent or maybe not a tangent, but. Um, I'm panicking. Actually. It was</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:20] funny. My wife just kept staring at me going,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:24] I want to leave right now and go change all my password because she</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:28] thinks that, uh, the way I store my passwords, we get she's thought that the way I store my passwords, like I'd never let the browser save my password.</p>
<p>Every password is different. I use, I'm not going to divulge the name of it, but I use a standalone application to manage my passwords. I don't use last pass. I don't use anything else that</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:50:52] exists. You're unique. And I love that you're doing that, but even move the bar. That's hard for most [00:51:00] people and it's hard for me, but actually even using some of the tools like last pass or some of those password generators is significantly better than what people are doing today, which is using the same password across all of their systems.</p>
<p>And using a very simple password, they can remember. Yes,  it's not even just about you. It's about all of the fraud you're creating for those small businesses that get screwed. Like we talked about. Taking a small step toward responsibility of your password management is good for you and good for other people.</p>
<p>And it doesn't have to go as far as what Matt's talking about, which is fantastic. And actually many companies are now doing it to even log into their systems. Google and others have been doing it for years, where you get something where it generates a new password every hour and you have to be typing it in and you have to be entering it.</p>
<p>Password management is incredibly important in this whole fraud scheme, not even blockchain, but just fraud scheme. And so doing a little bit to help protect your passwords really will save you paid and [00:52:00] time effort. And if you care about the community at large, right? If you care about that flower shop, then be a little, take a little bit more time about password management and protection, because you just called your credit card company and said, Hey, can you take care of it? And they did. And my husband's scuba shop,  that fraudulent credit card,  it's their bank account that, that came out of ,not anybody else's. And so, password management is super important.</p>
<p>Not that that was blockchain, but it all intertwined in there.</p>
<p>Did you want any more techie kind of conversations? I, I guess we're building systems and I wish I could tell you more about them. What I would tell you is there's more startups thinking about them.  COVID did impact the industry in the sense that most innovative projects, all companies have been greatly impacted during what's happened in our economy for a year and a half around the world.</p>
<p>And when that happens, companies contract funding [00:53:00] on things that are in their future and they focus on how to stay in business right now. So a lot of projects got put on hold. A lot of inventions didn't happen, but on the flip side, lots of startups happened. Lots of people have ideas that they're willing to do as a startup because they've been home for awhile and have ideas and are helping to implement things.</p>
<p>So we've seen both sides of it. We've seen everything from a traceability and tracking. We didn't even talk about being able to, but we talked a little bit about that idea. We're working with a startup right now that, oh my God, I love it Fawn would love it. It, you know, what I love about my job is that there's so many things you're learning.</p>
<p>There's so many industries and change you've never known about. And that when you learn about them, you're like, oh my God, this makes a difference. And even if it's like the messy stuff that you didn't think about, it does make a difference. We're working with oh two women who are amazing and they're, and it's women.</p>
<p>It was in very male dominated industry. It's actually meat processing again, Santa Monica. So excited about this, but what you are excited about is there are [00:54:00] certain products like collagen and other products that are coming on the shelf in, in Pharmaca that are helping us that are good for our wellness produced out of a chain that you want to know is organic and hormone-free and whatever it would be.</p>
<p>We even talked about those drugs. Well, think about all of the different natural products that we know can help people and aren't even drugs these days, but you know, those are, oh my God. They are, unfortunately, I'm so sad. Always to know full of  fraud, all these companies making claims about products that aren't true.</p>
<p>And we really, everybody does want truth. Let's go back. We do want truth. Maybe not media, because that doesn't sell, but truly we love truth. And we want truth in the product we're buying and we're helping these women with this really cool blockchain product. For the small farms for the small ranchers who produce cows  when they have a cow and they [00:55:00] sell the cow multiple chain here, it goes to a meat processor.</p>
<p>There's a really cool way to say meat processor or packaging, plant coolers, an         . I'm like, well, that's a way better term. Cause we think this is all yucky, which is okay. We do. When they, when they process that meat, they actually have waste and they have to pay people, small farms. They, they can't get rid of that waste because they are not big enough to sell.</p>
<p>There's no platform for them to sell their, their byproducts. Right. There's always byproducts. They have byproducts. The beef that they sell is their main producer of money. But all of these byproducts  that could have come from organic farmers that add their cow and organic meat, they have byproducts sometimes that bone or cartilage or whatever it would be,</p>
<p>but those byproducts go into products that end up on our wellness supplements and things like that, uh, based face cream hairstyle, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? If you knew how to help the small farms, the small ranchers get rid of  their [00:56:00] byproducts are, are perishable.</p>
<p>If we could help them get rid of their byproducts right now, they pay people to take them away. If I gave them a market for their byproducts along the way, they could make a little bit more money on getting rid of it instead of it being thrown away and waste is always, if you, you know, uh, recycle, reuse is better than, or reuse is better than recycle.</p>
<p>We know that, and the change same is true in all of these little things. And so helping them help the small farms and ranchers and in the end,  the producers of these products that are on your shelf at the end, want to be able to tell you that it's organic and that all of their things were organic.</p>
<p>The only way they can do that is to know the people told the truth along the chain and things got tracked along the chain. Again, there you go. Blockchain would be fantastic to know how this is going to be along the chain. It doesn't solve all the problems. Blockchain's a big piece of it. Well, you know, marketplace, you still need [00:57:00] all of these other mobile IOT and web based solutions to support the full solution of knowing that this end product has, was done sustainably, organically, and you can go through any product fish, any, any of these things that we're using a tree fish, any of these, uh, raw materials and then the chain along the way.</p>
<p>So pretty excited about helping these women help the ranchers and the farmers, That's a very Santa Monica thing is helping your community and staying local. Wouldn't it be great if they sold it locally and we use less gas than shipping things all across the country.</p>
<p>I mean, there's so many ripple effects and impacts. And again, I never thought about this industry or this thing or this product. I do buy things at Pharmaca that are on the shelf. And now I can't even pick up a product without thinking, oh my God, how do we help everybody help along the way we want truth. We really do. I want truth in my labeling. And I want truth in my product. [00:58:00] The thing is, is the company selling it to me, wants truth. And the company along the way wants truth. It's only, it's less than 10% of people who want a fraud. Each other, I should have never said 10% of them are trying to fraud. It's probably 1% right.</p>
<p>And, but reducing that 1% to a half a percent can help us all along the way. So</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:18] So beautifully explained.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:58:23] And you said it beautiful when I was talking about like meat processing, so, well, yeah. Do you know where it gets</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:58:29] worse because we're vegan?</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:58:31] Well, I, I get it, but the thing about it is you want there to be less, you know, I was helping the oil and gas industry and it was really hard for me cause I'm like, oh, but then I'm like, if we would use waste and make it much more efficient, it is better for everyone in any industry.</p>
<p>If we let go of this preconceived notion of, I can't work in an industry because I'm against it,  shopping at Walmart or the [00:59:00] oil and gas industry or meat, and we realized that reducing things makes it so much better for all of us, regardless of what those products are. It really does it in the end. It's helping our society, the world at large.</p>
<p>Uh, it really is. And just being conscientious of all of the different ways that is, and not being hung up in the label and in the airy little bit of what we know about it at from a distance and realizing it really, it really can make a difference,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:30] it goes back to what we were originally saying at the beginning was to not ignore your feelings, not to ignore your emotions, to talk about things.</p>
<p>Yeah. You know, you would think we don't want to talk about meat, but it's our world and we're in it together. And everybody lives different ways. And to just ignore something or not want to talk about something creates problems.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[00:59:56] Yeah. Some of those supplements that are really helping people that are doing [01:00:00] amazing work are produced out of things that aren't always what we realized, but are creating great value. So</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:07] totally. Matt. Why</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[01:00:10] are you quiet?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:11] It's just you, God, it, it feels, it feels like I've been drinking from the fire hose. I'll be honest right now. And it really feels like, I can almost sum up this whole episode I was going to cause I always try and sum things up is, you know, really the implementations of blockchain you have is kind of a, a world of truth versus theft.</p>
<p>But I don't want to, I don't want to leave it there. I just wanted to bring it to a world of just straight up truth and blockchain helps us really get to the truth of things.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[01:00:42] Yeah, yeah, it sure does. Isn't that exciting? It really is. And most people want truth. There's lots of bad players out there that don't want true, but most of us all want truth. Truth really can help us be so much better in the world and the community [01:01:00] individually, the community, the society, the world. So.</p>
<p>So, yeah, I'm, I'm, uh, obviously passionate and a believer and excited about helping companies implement solutions that can help them. I mean, let's just go back to it. Truth. You need funding, you need funding for big technology solutions. And so there, there are companies investing in this and they're doing it because it helps them, but that helps us.</p>
<p>And I love that. I'm all on board with that. So,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:32] yeah. Wow. So  is that the pretty little bow? I think that's the pretty little bow. Wow. Lisa, you are phenomenal. See, now I'm mad. Cause you had Lisa to yourself. I had no idea all those. It feels like</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:48] she was in the scary</p>
<p>office at the end of the hall that we couldn't go go to.</p>
<p>I had three</p>
<p>people in my way.</p>
<p>[01:02:00] <strong>Lisa: </strong>[01:01:59] You know, that's not true.</p>
<p>Hey, truth. I am going to go back to some truth. Fawn's calling you out. I, you know what argue with him Fawn because you know, he could have walked into my office any minute, any day, and that would have been fine. I I'm going to pull on some truth</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:22] here. Lisa, who called you? Who called you? He's like, no, no.</p>
<p>Lisa is very busy and then I'm like, well, I mean, it took weeks for him to get a hold of you. I'm like, please, can I have you, have you, have you? He's like, not yet. Not yet. Not yet. And then all of a sudden I Googled you myself and found your phone</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[01:02:39] number on, you know, why he was not spotting in some truth.</p>
<p>There.</p>
<p>I love chatting</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:53] with you. Cute. Thank you so much. And you know, that's the thing. And I thought there was this big [01:03:00] wall up, so I was afraid to, I had all on your shoulders, man. I'm like get ahold of Lisa. Yeah. Yeah. And all of a sudden I'm like, okay, I'll just call him somehow. I'll reach some other person.</p>
<p>And maybe in a few weeks, I'll be able to reach her. When you picked up the phone, lisa, I was, I mean, if you remember, like, I was like, hello, like, is this really you Lisa? I could not believe it. And there you go.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[01:03:25] Pretty</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:26] reachable. We always have, we believe walls that are up, but they're really not there. You know, it's so easy to reach out to one another.</p>
<p>So that's the truth right there.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:35] That is certainly a truth.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:36] You're absolutely right. Don't be afraid. Just reach out and you have a beautiful Lisa in your life that you're talking to.</p>
<p> Lisa, thank you so much.  Phenomenal, you're so phenomenal in all ways;  in the way you explain things, what you're doing in the world.</p>
<p>I really appreciate you. I see you. [01:04:00] You're so amazing. Thank you, Lisa. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Lisa: </strong>[01:04:02] Thank you. I, I appreciate the, uh, nice words I sincerely do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:08] And if you want to reach out to Lisa, we'll have everything in our show notes and our, and on our website, our friendly world.com or our friendly world podcast.com. So we'll talk to you guys in a few days.</p>
<p>Thank you again, everyone. We'll talk to you. Take care. Bye bye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Lisa Calkins of Halfblast Studios joins our blockchain talk, but we get very human with it and talk about such things as fraud and the fact that it doesn't always just happen the way that you think it happens . Lisa explains credit card fraud and fraud in general.
Also, why you will never forget your password again…   Why taking a small step toward responsibility of your password management is good for you and good for other people.
Lisa gets very real and you will feel empowered. Here are some nuggets from the episode:
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: -And one of the things that was so exciting to me and, valuable to me about blockchain was that I didn't understand it at all. I had to learn it and the whole team had to learn it. And those early entire year, every day I would learn something. And then the next day I would realize whatever I learned wasn't really right or true.And then I would learn again and then I wouldn't understand it. And then some would ask me a question. I have no idea how to answer it, and I would have to learn it again. And what an exciting time that is, professionally and personally.
 
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: …adoption is always hard because actually most people don't like a lot of change. It's one of the misnomers in technology that people who aren't in technology think technologists are so innovative and creative and constantly like building new things and thinking very innovatively.
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: … in any industry in teaching, there's only a subset of people who are really doing innovative work. Most of the other people, like the fact that everything stays in their framework that they're comfortable in. So blockchain is not that. And blockchain is really extremely different from a technology perspective.
 
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: … blockchain is a piece of this big solution. It's not taking over the world. It's taking over a big piece of what was [00:12:00] not being done very well or solved.
 
NUGGET OF WISDOM FROM LISA: … the dirty, big secrets. They're not dirty little secrets. They're dirty, big secrets. In systems today and in business today, there is an amazing amount of fraud. Unbelievable. In fact, I am the optimist quite, probably like Fawn. And when I was exposed to how much fraud there was, it made me so disheartened and sad and crazy. Like if we could help reduce fraud by a very small percentage, the amount of money that could be in the economy is insane.
 
 
fraud doesn't always just happen the way that you think it happens . Lisa explains credit card fraud:  “So do you realize who actually paid for that fraud. It's the flower company, the credit card company takes the money back out of that small business transaction.
They go take the money out of, even up to six months later, some credit cards a year later, the money actually doesn't get lost in the middle. It's actually taken out of a small business.”…” The small business is the one that loses out. The small business is the one who is actually the end result of fraud. Well, let's talk about it. How are they going to change the world and force us to change our model? [00:26:00] Usually it's because consumers help drive that, right? The mass people drive that change, but you don't even know or realize it's happening, right?
 If everybody realized my local flower shop my local restaurant, the coffee shop, the doughnut shop, whatever it is, a person selling, whatever, even startups, creating new companies, even selling online, whatever it might be. They're the ones who it comes out of their account. And so it's part of doing business. They have to do a write off account. They have to manage the fact that there's going to be loss. And they're the ones who are paying for it. Here's the thing, the credit card compan...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Blockchain-.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:05:41</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Roundtable - CONNECTED- The Concept of Self-Principles and How to Use Them as Tools]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Jun 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/roundtable-connected-the-concept-of-self-principles-and-how-to-use-them-as-tools</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/roundtable-connected-the-concept-of-self-principles-and-how-to-use-them-as-tools</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Today we have our fantastic, amazing friend, Paul, who is leading this session today on the concept of self-principle as a whole, being an action. It's the actions we take on our thoughts that come up.</p>
<p>The conversation further travels to the concept intelligence of multiple intelligence theory and how all these ways of thinking and being transforms us and society.</p>
<p>We also talk about school, all kinds of different forms of intelligence, finding other ways, other paths in our lives that don’t go with the status quo but reveal our true selves and our true gifts.</p>
<p><strong>Hall of Fame quotes from the episode:</strong></p>
<p>the more we practice it, the more it becomes us,</p>
<p> </p>
<p> I am not defined by how other people choose to see me. I'm defined by who I am. -Not the perception, not the looking through the lens of someone else's experience.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>if everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Winston Churchill - If you find yourself traveling through hell for God's sake, keep going.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Paul: say like, if another addict came into the rehab and they were, they were crying about that life being so down and terrible, you know, Beforehand, he would have just been like, Oh, it's just another addict. That my, my life's bad. I'm not going to care about your life, but now he's like, I understand you. I feel you, when you go, when you go into their shoes and feel them, and then you, you feel sad for them and then you love them when they can't love themselves. That's empathy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katy: We have to we have to forgive, we have to give people encouragement for the good job like our children, like, Oh, you're doing such a good job. You have to have empathy for people with they're going through every day in certain stressful situations. Love is like everybody love is everything, you know, it's just, it has to be everywhere.</p>
<p>everything is love.</p>
<p>the multiple intelligences theory,</p>
<p>Gardner introduced the idea that every single thing that we can do is a arena of intelligence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beth: there are definitely different definitions behind behind these values and principles. What might be a principle for my mother or for my logically minded family members, I didn't hold the same. I didn't hold it in the same light.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beth:  I think that the curriculum should be built around what KJ is talking about. You know, if you built it around the different intelligences than you would allow everybody to be who they are in one of those themes and the world would be a better place because you'd be starting much younger, believing in yourself, believing in what you have as gifts for the world are true and rightful and should be, should be used in the world.Instead of trying to fit into this almost just academic route that we, we tend to place on people. So the whole curriculums need to change. Maybe it will. That's my hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello everybody. Hello. Welcome to a friendly world. Welcome to our round table. Connected round table. Connected. We talk about all the different ways we are interconnected. We have friends from around the world at the table, and every week we have a different topic. Today's topic is self principle, and I am so excited to introduce you to Paul Martin also known as Lotus, who will be leading us through our session today?  At our table today, we have my love, Matt Anderson. We have our beautiful, beautiful Katy LoSasso. Hello. We have our beautiful Beth Hewitt. We have our beautiful KJ.  You're beautiful too, Matt. Thank you. All right. We have KJ Nasrul here. We have me. [00:01:00] Hello? I'm Fawn. Thanks babe. All right. So today when we have beautiful Paul, I did say Paul and I was just about to say we have a new cut me off, and today we have our fantastic, amazing friend, Paul, who is leading this session tod...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Today we have our fantastic, amazing friend, Paul, who is leading this session today on the concept of self-principle as a whole, being an action. It's the actions we take on our thoughts that come up.
The conversation further travels to the concept intelligence of multiple intelligence theory and how all these ways of thinking and being transforms us and society.
We also talk about school, all kinds of different forms of intelligence, finding other ways, other paths in our lives that don’t go with the status quo but reveal our true selves and our true gifts.
Hall of Fame quotes from the episode:
the more we practice it, the more it becomes us,
 
 I am not defined by how other people choose to see me. I'm defined by who I am. -Not the perception, not the looking through the lens of someone else's experience.
 
if everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong.
 
Winston Churchill - If you find yourself traveling through hell for God's sake, keep going.
 
Paul: say like, if another addict came into the rehab and they were, they were crying about that life being so down and terrible, you know, Beforehand, he would have just been like, Oh, it's just another addict. That my, my life's bad. I'm not going to care about your life, but now he's like, I understand you. I feel you, when you go, when you go into their shoes and feel them, and then you, you feel sad for them and then you love them when they can't love themselves. That's empathy.
 
Katy: We have to we have to forgive, we have to give people encouragement for the good job like our children, like, Oh, you're doing such a good job. You have to have empathy for people with they're going through every day in certain stressful situations. Love is like everybody love is everything, you know, it's just, it has to be everywhere.
everything is love.
the multiple intelligences theory,
Gardner introduced the idea that every single thing that we can do is a arena of intelligence.
 
Beth: there are definitely different definitions behind behind these values and principles. What might be a principle for my mother or for my logically minded family members, I didn't hold the same. I didn't hold it in the same light.
 
Beth:  I think that the curriculum should be built around what KJ is talking about. You know, if you built it around the different intelligences than you would allow everybody to be who they are in one of those themes and the world would be a better place because you'd be starting much younger, believing in yourself, believing in what you have as gifts for the world are true and rightful and should be, should be used in the world.Instead of trying to fit into this almost just academic route that we, we tend to place on people. So the whole curriculums need to change. Maybe it will. That's my hope.
 
 
Transcript:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello everybody. Hello. Welcome to a friendly world. Welcome to our round table. Connected round table. Connected. We talk about all the different ways we are interconnected. We have friends from around the world at the table, and every week we have a different topic. Today's topic is self principle, and I am so excited to introduce you to Paul Martin also known as Lotus, who will be leading us through our session today?  At our table today, we have my love, Matt Anderson. We have our beautiful, beautiful Katy LoSasso. Hello. We have our beautiful Beth Hewitt. We have our beautiful KJ.  You're beautiful too, Matt. Thank you. All right. We have KJ Nasrul here. We have me. [00:01:00] Hello? I'm Fawn. Thanks babe. All right. So today when we have beautiful Paul, I did say Paul and I was just about to say we have a new cut me off, and today we have our fantastic, amazing friend, Paul, who is leading this session tod...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Roundtable - CONNECTED- The Concept of Self-Principles and How to Use Them as Tools]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Today we have our fantastic, amazing friend, Paul, who is leading this session today on the concept of self-principle as a whole, being an action. It's the actions we take on our thoughts that come up.</p>
<p>The conversation further travels to the concept intelligence of multiple intelligence theory and how all these ways of thinking and being transforms us and society.</p>
<p>We also talk about school, all kinds of different forms of intelligence, finding other ways, other paths in our lives that don’t go with the status quo but reveal our true selves and our true gifts.</p>
<p><strong>Hall of Fame quotes from the episode:</strong></p>
<p>the more we practice it, the more it becomes us,</p>
<p> </p>
<p> I am not defined by how other people choose to see me. I'm defined by who I am. -Not the perception, not the looking through the lens of someone else's experience.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>if everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Winston Churchill - If you find yourself traveling through hell for God's sake, keep going.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Paul: say like, if another addict came into the rehab and they were, they were crying about that life being so down and terrible, you know, Beforehand, he would have just been like, Oh, it's just another addict. That my, my life's bad. I'm not going to care about your life, but now he's like, I understand you. I feel you, when you go, when you go into their shoes and feel them, and then you, you feel sad for them and then you love them when they can't love themselves. That's empathy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katy: We have to we have to forgive, we have to give people encouragement for the good job like our children, like, Oh, you're doing such a good job. You have to have empathy for people with they're going through every day in certain stressful situations. Love is like everybody love is everything, you know, it's just, it has to be everywhere.</p>
<p>everything is love.</p>
<p>the multiple intelligences theory,</p>
<p>Gardner introduced the idea that every single thing that we can do is a arena of intelligence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beth: there are definitely different definitions behind behind these values and principles. What might be a principle for my mother or for my logically minded family members, I didn't hold the same. I didn't hold it in the same light.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beth:  I think that the curriculum should be built around what KJ is talking about. You know, if you built it around the different intelligences than you would allow everybody to be who they are in one of those themes and the world would be a better place because you'd be starting much younger, believing in yourself, believing in what you have as gifts for the world are true and rightful and should be, should be used in the world.Instead of trying to fit into this almost just academic route that we, we tend to place on people. So the whole curriculums need to change. Maybe it will. That's my hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello everybody. Hello. Welcome to a friendly world. Welcome to our round table. Connected round table. Connected. We talk about all the different ways we are interconnected. We have friends from around the world at the table, and every week we have a different topic. Today's topic is self principle, and I am so excited to introduce you to Paul Martin also known as Lotus, who will be leading us through our session today?  At our table today, we have my love, Matt Anderson. We have our beautiful, beautiful Katy LoSasso. Hello. We have our beautiful Beth Hewitt. We have our beautiful KJ.  You're beautiful too, Matt. Thank you. All right. We have KJ Nasrul here. We have me. [00:01:00] Hello? I'm Fawn. Thanks babe. All right. So today when we have beautiful Paul, I did say Paul and I was just about to say we have a new cut me off, and today we have our fantastic, amazing friend, Paul, who is leading this session today.</p>
<p>We're talking about self principle, Paul Pauly. Welcome everyone. Thank you. Take it away sweet friend.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:01:29] Okay.  Groovy. Right here we go. Hello, gorgeous people. So my name is Paul Paul Martin. I am a, meditation, facilitator, teacher, coach. I have been teaching meditation for almost three years now.</p>
<p>I started teaching it in Thailand from one of my old teachers, he was called Paul Garrigan he's Irish guy, who I actually met in sobriety when I was [00:02:00] coming off of drugs and booze and stuff like that. He's a fascinating inspiration. He's a master of meditation mainly through Buddhism, and he was my first teacher.</p>
<p>  I've had a few others along my journey. I got into meditation when I was about 16 when my best friend's MedU from a Hindu family MedU that's the short version. And so he first got me into it, asking the big questions. And it opened my eyes, but open my heart and you know, I got distracted, with drugs and booze and stuff like that until I was about 24, I think when I got clean.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:41] Do you remember your first meditation? What that was like, what the feeling was like,</p>
<p>like the first time you ever experienced it.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:02:50] So the first time is it's, it's unbelievable, you know, to have a bit more [00:03:00] of a prolonged stillness or peace in the mind. I mean, cause you know, our minds can go mental all day long. They just keep chopping and churning and they never stop. And there's only always described this only.</p>
<p>Yeah. That one time when you find that piece without meditating and that's when you see something beautiful in life and it captivates you and time goes still because you let go of all the attachments to the earth. And you find that beautiful piece. Like if you're looking at a sunset or something, but it only lasts like split second and then it goes but to experience that for the first time to pro long that that piece to stretch out through meditation, I mean, there's nothing like it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:45] Can I ask you a question, Paul? Yeah, this is something I've always wondered, because I've been meditating for a long time too. I was meditating before I knew what I was doing. Like I was meditating as a child.  I would ride my bike miles and miles to go [00:04:00] to this area at the beach.</p>
<p>And I would sit there for hours, a little kid sitting there for hours, and I would scare the adults that were jogging back and forth. This was in LA and they didn't know what I was doing. They asked me if I was okay, because they would come back an hour later and I hadn't moved at all. And I didn't know what I was doing.</p>
<p>It was just what I was called to do. Like I was drawn to it, but it's really interesting how you can stop time and you can access all these other realms and you can, you can do things you can maneuver. Right. But, uh, what do you guys think when you're meditating and you achieve that, or like, you look at a beautiful sunset and you experience that stillness, but have you all, like had a trip, like you tripped and like you're falling and then it feels like everything is going in slow motion while you figure out how to, how to maneuver so you don't hurt yourself, or if you've ever been in any kind of an accident, like time stops and everything [00:05:00] slows down and it feels like it's going on forever. You know what I mean? Is that the same? Do you guys think that's the same as the reaching that point of meditation where , it stops time? I</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:05:12] mean, I think so.</p>
<p>You know, it's like, that fear makes you let go of all the attachments, you know, it's like when you see that beautiful thing, you let go of all the attachments to the world and that's what you do through meditation. And you know, it's the same when I had a car crash, when I was about 17, I crashed into this tractor trailer and it crumpled like right up to my face and I walked away with scratches you know, blessed, but yeah, at times stood, stood still and that crash seemed like it was lasting  a good five minutes.</p>
<p>But yeah, all you're thinking about is  Oh, bloody hell. You know, I'm, I'm crashing. I'm about to maybe die and then you just forget about everything you even cared about, everything you love and everything you hate, you just let go and your just there in the moment aren't you?</p>
<p>So, yeah, it was the same, I think, [00:06:00] definitely</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:00] I  think the whole world has been in, this trauma  and I'm wondering if  in the midst of that, if we're all manipulating time in a way, because I don't know if you've all noticed, but like the past year, time has sped up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:06:16] I mean, yeah, the way life has slowed down, it's given people a chance to either work on themselves or become lazy. I think people have either gone one way or the other in 2020. So yeah, I mean, it's a massive opportunity to, to step into self love, self growth meditation.</p>
<p>All this kind of stuff and do stuff that people we've never tried before. Or, you know, it's also an opportunity for people to sit on the sofa and watch Netflix all day and eat loads of  junk food. So it's up to that person really.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:50] I mean, either way, I think it probably is leading everyone. Even if you are sitting on the sofa, watching Netflix and eating junk food, [00:07:00] it still is transformative.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:07:01] Happens for a reason. Yeah, definitely because it will teach them a lesson in a, in a way or another.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:06] So I apologize if I've veered us away from the lesson plan, but that's how I do guys. I'm sorry, which is probably why I have a podcast. I talked too much. Take it away, Paul. Sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:07:17] Okay. Okay. So principle, right.</p>
<p>Okay. So self PR principle in a whole is it's an action. It's the actions we do  on our thoughts that come up really. So, I mean,  thoughts principals come up in our thoughts, but we can challenge those thoughts or we can not. And then the action that we act upon those thoughts coming up is our self principles.</p>
<p>So that's  it as a whole. I've got a little list here,</p>
<p>I've got a few, right. Some good ones. Okay. Acceptance, forgiveness, pride. And then there's false pride. So it's two different types of pride- important that, [00:08:00] empathy, love, understanding, patience and tolerance. They normally come hand in hand and then,  there's The bad self principles of that, which is impatience and intolerance. And then there's like encouragement. And an opposite to that could be self-righteous, or like you wanting to win rather than the other person encouraging them to when, if you were going against them, you know, stuff like this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:24] Can I ask you a quick question? Can you, can you explain to me pride and false pride? What's the difference?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:08:32] Say if you worked really hard to achieve a qualification and it took you a couple of years and it took a lot of time and effort, and you're very proud of getting that qualification, that's pride, that's a good pride, you know, you deserve that pride is good to be prideful about that.</p>
<p>Cause Because it is to stand in that and be like, Oh, I did this you know, not in an egotistical way, but  in a self loving way; [00:09:00] being happy for yourself, you know, standing in that. And</p>
<p>then</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:09:03] there's the false pride, for example, me being English every now and then, you know, it comes up in my head sometimes I'll be like, Oh, someone will be chatting about their country.</p>
<p>And they'll be like the best country and I'll be like: mate I won't say it but my thought will come up. Be like, England is the best country. Come on. Let's be honest. That is a false pride. That's a negative pride, you know? So I mean, for me, if, when it comes up in my mind, I don't act upon that. I just go, Oh, okay. My mind is thinking this, or I'm not going to act on that and push it away.</p>
<p>But yeah, they're two examples.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:39] Got it.  Thanks Paul.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:09:41] Nice. Right. Okay. Well, so, so let's get chatting, let's get chatting. Who was start talking about maybe the experiences with self principles, any of the examples, maybe where you've had to challenge your mind.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:58] Can you start with your own [00:10:00] personal ones?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:10:02] Right.</p>
<p>So let's chat about my family. That's a good one. The one that's easy. Cause I mean, I get triggered quite a lot by my family. I think most people do</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:15] wait. You do? You totally seem like you totally get along with your folks and wait, are you an only child? Paul?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:10:22] No,  I got an older sister.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:24] Where is she?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:10:26] She is she's not far away.</p>
<p>It's like half an hour away. In English, you got this cute little chapel school, which lives in. But yeah, I think she naturally gets on and understands my family better than I do.  I get on with my family really well, but I work really hard at it. You know, I use that pause button a lot.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:48] Oh, every time I went to talk to you every week, every time you just seem like you have the sweetest relationship with your folks, like it is the sweetest I'm surprised by what you're saying.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:10:59] Yeah. [00:11:00] Well, I mean, I used to be a little bugger as well, back in the day and we didn't have the sweet relationship. When I was in like my active addiction and stuff, I was little. Yeah. Yeah. Just stay with bugger. Right. But I mean, for example let's go with. Let's go with,  self-pity for example.</p>
<p>So I got into self pity. No, let's go for forgiveness, forgiveness. My false pride can come up quite a lot with my father. You know, it's like two, two stags holding horns against each other in the forest and they're like bucking each other. And I think my false pride can stand up more so with my dad than  anyone else.</p>
<p>I don't know why. I think it's because, because, because of the years, actually the years of, arguments and stuff before I got clean and sober, before I started challenging  my self-principles I   wouldn't challenge my mind at all. It would be [00:12:00] automatic.</p>
<p>So we'd get into arguments a lot. And was those, those memories and those resentments  made an engraving on my mind and  it made that false pride, even bigger and even stronger against my dad. Cause we used to disagree quite a lot. So, with forgiveness I can find it very hard sometimes, cause I can be quite stubborn and  so can he.</p>
<p>And luckily I'm blessed enough to know that I can challenge myself principles sort of thing. But my dad, I don't think has learned this so much. Yeah. So you know, his, his stubbornness might sustain a bit more so than mine does when we get into a bit of a debate nowadays. So, if he doesn't accept that he's wrong or something rather than me forgiving him quickly and acknowledging that he's a different person, he's on a different path where we're learning things at different speeds, [00:13:00] know we're two separate entities and I need to just love him and forgive him and you know, help him on his beautiful journey of life.</p>
<p>Like he has to me, you know, the amount of times. I've been a little monkey in the, in the beginning of my life. And he's forgiven me for  of stuff, all the, all the Savage stuff I caused him and mom, you know, the pain I caused him in my addiction and stuff like that. I was really a selfish person in my addiction, minipulative and stuff like that.</p>
<p>And rather than being easily forgiving, which I think I need to practice a lot more with my father because of my false pride, he's quite there it's quite naturally there for me. Not just with him, but it is especially, uh, with him, which is sad. I know I just need to work on it more and the more I do work on it, the less it will be there.</p>
<p>So, you know, it's it's a slow [00:14:00] progression. But yeah, it doesn't cause that false pride, it doesn't help me be for giving as easily. But I mean, all of these kinds of self principle things is just practice in the end of the day. It's just yeah, it's just practicing it and the more we practice it, the more it becomes us, if that makes sense.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:18] That makes sense. Yeah. Do you mind, can I share mine? Are you done? I don't want to interrupt. Well, since you brought up your family, I'm going to bring up mine. Matt is raising his eyebrows.  I'm looking at all these words that you said, acceptance, forgiveness, pride, empathy understanding, patience, tolerance, encouragement, all of that.</p>
<p>For me, like, I feel like I can use all of that in my experience with my family that I was born into .The situation is that I've often told you guys that ever since I was born, I've been taking notes. I've been quiet and I've been [00:15:00] watching people. Like I recall things from the age when I was in diapers.</p>
<p> I didn't know how to walk yet, but I can recall what I was thinking. And I can recall and tell you what was happening in the room, what kind of conversations  were being had, and  the general feel of things like I've been taking notes forever. And so I watched my family that I was born into and I say it that way because I don't consider them family.</p>
<p>I was born into that group. And it took me many, many years and so many different therapists to, to distance myself from that. So I could have a healing happen within me after having been through living with these people and the shock of that in a way that I had to create a pure circle for myself, especially when I decided I'm going to create [00:16:00] a life with Matt.</p>
<p>I didn't want any infection coming in because by that we, we met at a pretty late age, I guess, you know, we weren't totally young when we met. So. I had done the work. I had been through had been through so many therapists. So I, it's not like I made a hasty decision to cut off my family. But from an early, early age, I realized I can not take anything personally, that these people are in pain.</p>
<p>So I  had to  except them for who they were, but in return  I never got that acceptance from them. So it was always like, I just got hate coming at me from these people, even at a very early age, you know, at an age of innocence, like I did not deserve any of that. And I knew I didn't, as things were happening, as things were said to me, [00:17:00] as things were done to me, I was like, wow, these people are in pain and really has nothing to do with me.</p>
<p>If anything, they want me to help them along to carry on this kind of behavior. And I was never about that. So I had empathy for them and I had pride for the way I was on the inside. Like I knew who I was, regardless of what they called me. Regardless of if they said you're an ungrateful child or you're, you're just, I don't know.</p>
<p>I got called all kinds of names and the whole idea of forgiveness. I mean, I knew before it was hip that in order for me to have a good life, I needed to forgive and not take things so personally that I needed to forgive them. And in doing that empathy was involved because I had to feel what they must be going through to live that way, [00:18:00] to speak that way, to treat someone that is supposed to be your family, your love; to treat them so poorly, you must be in a lot of pain. So, you know, for me, it was beyond forgiveness and I just had to keep listening and keep watching. And at a certain point, I had to completely distance myself and step away to the point where they didn't know where I was anymore, that I had to completely cut them off.</p>
<p>I couldn't even talk to them on the phone. And it took years of therapy to get over that guilt of doing that.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:18:38] No, it's not an easy decision, is it?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:41] It really isn't. And when I tell, when I used to tell people what I had done and what I had done was cut them off. I would, people would just stop talking to me.</p>
<p>Some people like their own issues came up with their families. You know, like if, if I was talking to someone who was a [00:19:00] parent and they were having trouble with their children, regardless of the age of the child, Because I had done what I did it. I think it totally threatened them and scared them. But like I had so many people stop talking to me, but I had to do it.</p>
<p>I had to do it guys like to, after a point, you know, they say you, you should leave, uh, an unhealthy relationship. Well, sometimes that unhealthy relationship could be with your family. And there, there are certain rare cases where it cannot be worked out because one, one party will not work it out because they will never assume responsibility.</p>
<p>And you can't, you can't keep going with that madness. And so, I don't know. So I'm just thinking of tolerance, you know, like I feel I had tolerance, but if the other side does not have tolerance, I know my own self [00:20:00] principles, but. If the other side doesn't know theirs how can you have a cohesive, harmonious relationship?</p>
<p>You can't. And so, anyway, that's my story. And I don't know, it's a, it's, it's really a long and complicated and it's, it used to be quite painful. But now I'm just like, especially now that I'm a mom, I realized this is what I totally had to do.  I made decisions that were heart wrenching that took years for me to actually walk with that decision.</p>
<p>I, I felt so much guilt because it, especially because of who I am, because I'm very friendly and I love bringing people together. And I'm all about family. I'm about family, universal family. I've always been about that. With my photography work, it's always been about that, but yet, if you get to know me and you find out, [00:21:00] wow Fawn, cut her family off completely.</p>
<p>And not just immediate family, I had to cut off all the relatives and I have thousands of them around the world. But, you know, from the culture that I come from, you can't just be friends with one and not the other. It just, you know, they're so tight knit and they, no matter the bad behavior,  they let things keep happening.</p>
<p>So I had to cut everybody off anyway. That's it. Does that, does that compute with what we're talking about today or did I totally go off?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:21:34] Yeah, I mean, I think you definitely made the right decision because obviously, you know, using that, that self principle tolerance, you know, there's only so much,  there's a limit and there's a boundary.</p>
<p>And, you can blow up eventually and that limit just gets pushed and pushed. So sometimes you have to take unfortunate, extreme steps, which aren't easy,  like you have, [00:22:00] but you know, the self principles that you had at such a young age, naturally your heart given those naturally like the empathy and forgiveness and understanding, you know, trying to understand that they're in, in pain and stuff like that, even though they're causing you  sadness to naturally have, that is amazing.</p>
<p>It's an amazing quality. Most people don't have that. And the people that do have it, normally they figure it out later on in life by doing things like I do, you know, challenging the mind and stuff like that. So to, uh, to naturally have I, is, is it's amazing. It's incredible, like gem</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:40] Thanks for understanding, because even to this day, I,  worry, like, am I going to lose this friend now that I've said what I said, now that they know, I mean, and nothing changed. You know, if you're going to be bad, I don't care if you're dying, it's not going to [00:23:00] change everything, anything for me. So like I reached a point where I guess someone was on their death bed. It was my mother, I guess. And I, and I say, I guess, because there were so many lies throughout the years that I couldn't believe anything that came out of their mouth.</p>
<p>It was constantly like just some threat of death or some threat. The lies were so often and so rapid fire that I just, I had to tell myself, well, I don't know what their truth is, so I'm not going to react. I'm not going to get  into that state of  constant panic every time they say something, but, you know, I kind of prepped myself for it.</p>
<p>Like if they say so-and-so is dying, are you going to show up and say, I love you. Well, I did say I love you throughout my whole time with them. And it doesn't, it doesn't matter. It's showing up to someone's, uh, crossing [00:24:00] over period. It's not going to change anything for me. And that makes me so hardcore.</p>
<p>And I hope people don't think I'm a bad person, but when they said,  your mother is passing away. We need you to come. And they hadn't, you know, been a part of my life at all. And even when they were, it was so bad. I'm like, okay, no, I didn't, I wasn't going to show up for that and suddenly make things okay.</p>
<p>Just because someone is crossing over. Does that make sense? You guys, I know it sounds really bad, but yeah. Yeah, but I have no ill will and I have no no hate and I have love, I just, I'm not going to be in their presence and that's it.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:24:42] If anything, it doesn't sound bad. It sounds the opposite. Cause I mean  if you, you know, how much you cherish family now,  and how much you, you adore that and you love that for you then to let go of your old family [00:25:00] obviously that must have been even harder. You expressing how much you love the idea of family. So it shows that it was an even harder decision than for, for other people who don't cherish and love family, as much as you</p>
<p>do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:14] It was Paul. It was so hard. It was so bad. And then when I have to stick to my own self principles and say to myself, I am a loving person.</p>
<p>I am a loving mother. I'm a loving wife, I'm a loving friend. But in this case, if you're gonna say, how, how dare you call yourself a good person. If you're turning your back on your mother you know, like threatening me and saying, I'm a bad person. You have to really get to your own core, know yourself principles and know who you truly are, because you could get hit with that.</p>
<p>You could have people that know how [00:26:00] to hurt you, say things to you to make you doubt yourself and make you doubt your own principles.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:26:07] Yeah. Staying with your truth, and know your truth yeah. Beautiful, lovely example. Anyone else got any, any good ones?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:17] Matt, do you want to go</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:20] great.</p>
<p>Call me out.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:21] No, it's okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:22] I'm still working on the subject matter, but I will throw something out and we'll see. We'll see if it is, or isn't</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:28] Let's see what sticks.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:28] Let's see what sticks. That's what I like to say. Yeah. When I was, uh, when I was a teenager, when I was in high school, call it what you will very angry all the time.</p>
<p>And it's because people looked at me and they made a split second decision.</p>
<p>Can I just say gorgeous and angry? Like your pictures when from high school rockstar, total heavy, heavy metal rock star. Yeah. So</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:26:54] sex sexy, angry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:56] Yes. I lived in,</p>
<p>uh, where I grew up. It was, it was [00:27:00] fairly conservative and I had long hair and, you know, I can count, I didn't do drugs, but my God, everybody thought I did to the point where people would go by me and asked me if I was, if I had anything.</p>
<p>I mean, it was just, and so I was, I was, I was, I was this cauldron of just anger all the time, except of course with my buddies, but. Just angry just all the time. And it was, it was my, it was a self-defense mechanism. It was very much like you can't touch me because I'm going to give you so much rage. If you try,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:33] can I ask you where that came from?</p>
<p>Why did you feel like you had to defend all the time?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:40] Freshman year. So first year  in high school, I'm,  13, right? I'm not, I don't have long hair at this point. I'm just normal guy. Right? I'm just, bebopping along. I mean, you know, you're the smallest littlest kids at the school. You're trying to figure stuff out.</p>
<p>And we had a school kind of police [00:28:00] and over the course of like the first two weeks of school, they harassed me like three times.,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:05] wait, other countries don't know what that is. So in America we have, even, even when we were kids, we had, like, I can tell you in my schools, we had gun violence. Kids. We didn't kids came to school with guns guys, like in their lockers, we had guns and this was before the mass shootings, but we had police in our, in our schools.</p>
<p>I don't want to explain that to the countries that are listening, that don't know we had policing in school.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:33] So, and I got frisked like twice in my first two weeks of school. What, because I had my wallet in my front pocket and I had a key chain that looked maybe like a lighter.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:44] And this, this was before your long hair.</p>
<p>This was before the whole heavy metal look, right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:49] I'm just an innocent young, young lad,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:52] like very conservative looking actually. Right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:54] I wouldn't say I was that conservative looking, but I mean, come on. I was 13. How [00:29:00] conservative or non conservative can you look? But I certainly didn't. I didn't look like the hell you and I later looked like.</p>
<p>And it just built from there. It was, it was very much a self-defense defense mechanism, honestly. Right. And , I heard stories later where I was always in the honors classes cause I'm a little smarty, whatever. But there would be stories every year, at least for two years,  my third and fourth year in high school where I would start school, I would start my classes, and in the teacher's lounge, sorry, I'm sorry. I scared you there babe. In the teacher's lounge, people would say, who is this  Matt Anderson? What's he doing in my class? No, no, no, seriously. He's smart. And other teachers would basically like let this person know who I was, what I was, because I was that much of a, just an unusual character because I was out there. I was going to do whatever I was going to do and you know, don't mess with me, but I, I, I did my schoolwork, so it was a weird thing. So anyways, fast forward,  I go away to college and [00:30:00] I had a writing teacher because we didn't write anything in, in high school. So I didn't know how to write basically besides the five paragraph essay .Anyways, and I had to write something for my core class, for my college at university, whatever. And I wrote it and there was one sentence in there that said, uh, I was talking about, I was day camp counselor, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Having fun with the kids. And I wrote, once I got past my hair, am I writing instructor like, like an old school, like meditation, uh, artist with a, with a Boken, like bapping me on the head, said, what  is that doing there? Get rid of that, that doesn't belong in this essay.  And she was right. And at that moment it was like  this bowstring, that was so taut, loosened. And I said, you're right. I am not defined by how other people choose to see me. I'm defined by who I am. Not the perception, not the looking [00:31:00] through the lens of someone else's experience.</p>
<p>And it was a very enlightening moment for me and reinforced later and, later and later, because of course I didn't actually let go of all the hatred at that point. It took a minute, but that was the beginning of that process. That was the beginning of the process  of letting go of all of that.</p>
<p>Because you know, back in the day, if you looked at me cross-eyed I was, I was going to go for ya, but I don't, you know, am I on track? Am I not on track? Is this, is this self principle? Or just an interesting story? I don't know.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:31:31] No, no, no. Gorgeous, gorgeous. Exactly. So you've got anger and you've replaced that self principle for love.</p>
<p>And you spoke about the moment, the beautiful moment when that clicked, when that happened. It's funny, like one of my old mentors, he used to speak to me and say, Paul, if everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong. I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:49] definitely agree with that statement.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:31:51] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I used to be a massive people, pleaser.</p>
<p>You know, when I walked into a party, I wanted everyone to know who I was and you know, I was [00:32:00] friends with my true friends who were lovely, beautiful people. And I was also friends with like gangsters and dodgy gypsies and stuff like this. And, you know, they all knew me just as well as each other. And it didn't make sense, you know?</p>
<p>Cause I always wanted everyone to like me and to know who I was.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:19] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:32:20] But yeah, that was beautiful. What you said at the end, it doesn't matter what people think you matters what you think of you; self-respect self, truth. Gorgeous. Right? Who else? Who else wants to go? Yeah, we got</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:31] somebody better speak up or else, you know, professor Fawn will call on you.</p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:32:40] I'm I'm struggling with  the concept of it. Not, not because it's. It's a subject that really is interesting, I likw. But I think when I'm thinking about it, all of my emotions, all of my memories are like rolling into one and I don't know when it starts and when it finishes, if you know what I mean. And then I start thinking about, [00:33:00] so when I was, when I was little, I was sad and angry and upset with the world.</p>
<p>I hated being at school. I couldn't wait to leave school. I didn't want to be there. And I can't remember at what point I became positive. And I can't remember at what point I became more accepting of who I am. And so I'm, I'm struggling. I'm really struggling with that.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:33:25] Do you think that w maybe there wasn't just, you know, maybe it wasn't one big point, maybe it slowly happened.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:33:32] Yeah, I think it did it. Must've done. Uh, I remember. So I couldn't wait to leave school. So when everybody was going to play six form, I want it to leave the school. That was an and go somewhere else because I want us to be so far away from everybody because I didn't feel I ever fitted with the groups I was with.</p>
<p>Uh, and so I left went to another college, but then didn't, I only lasted there about a month before we decided, no, I don't want to be here either. So I [00:34:00] had a gap. I went to on and started work and I worked for two or three years. And then I decided I wanted to go back into education and I wanted to be teacher at one point.</p>
<p>And so when I went back into education at about 19. I could only go to a college that had like 16 to 17 year olds coming through when I was 19. And I felt so much older than these 16 and 17 year olds. I just felt like a different felt worlds apart, but it was my chance now to get my education.</p>
<p>I was going to put everything into it and I was going to get as many qualifications I could. And then I realized that I realized at that point that I was more intelligent than I had given myself. You</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:34:40] know, you got that. That is as does the, the point.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:34:46] Okay. When it was at school, I went to a school that was, you had to do an exam to get into it.</p>
<p>So you have to, you have to pass this exam. But when I got there, I always felt like I was at the bottom. Like there were like the cream of the crop. The [00:35:00] people were so intelligent and I always felt I was trying to keep up with them and I just couldn't so that I just want to leave. And then it wasn't until I was like 19, 20 that I realized actually I'm quite an intelligent person.</p>
<p>I'd never given myself that I'd never been up until.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:35:15] Yeah. So, so those two principles that is self pity and self love. Yeah, the moment you spoke  about when you came to realization of self love. Gorgeous. Yeah. It's yeah, it's funny. Like as well, like people use self-pity, don't need to escape a blaze of different things; you know, escape, the world, escape shyness. Yeah. Anyway yeah. Beautiful. So nice that you came into it ; into the self-love. I mean, I would personally I would use self pity as an excuse to do so many bad things, so many negative things, not just to myself, but to other people and you know, and that false pride again will come [00:36:00] up even more so let me stay in that safety of self-pity. And in self-love was hard as well because  you stand tall  in that big pigeon chest, you know, and never doing that before is really scary, standing in that self love and that vulnerability it's, it's scary.</p>
<p>Most people find it easier to stand in self-pity than self-love. Hmm. Yeah. Interesting.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:26] I can tell you that. That's how they got me to stay in that unhealthy family because they used self-pity I'm like, how dare you go off to college? How dare you think of having this dream? You need to stick with us, poor us.</p>
<p>How dare you leave the family? How dare you? You know what I mean? As opposed to, like, I think if they had such self love for themselves, they would have this knowing this is my family, by the [00:37:00] way, not anybody else, but that life is good and we can make life bigger. We can make our lives bigger and grander.</p>
<p>So  nothing can threaten you. And because they, these people in my world were such self pity people. It's kind of like crabs, how you talk, how they talk about like crabs will keep each other from getting out of that bucket. You know, that story about if one crab decides to. Do you know that story, Matt?</p>
<p>Or is it just an American thing?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:37:36] Is that real? If you have let it go, she, you tried that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:40] No, I I'm a vegan, so I would never do anything like that to  any creature, but they always, they always describe if you have a bucket of crabs and one tries to escape and one tries to leave that they'll pull it down.</p>
<p>They'll pull it. Why are you looking at me like that? Matt? Do you know what I'm talking about? You've [00:38:00] never heard the crab story. Anybody heard the crab story? Anybody?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:38:05] No. I mean, we never used buckets. We just get him out with some</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:09] vacant.</p>
<p>Wow guys. Nobody. All right. All right. Nevermind. Well, what I'm saying is like, they just, they want company nevermind. Next.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:38:23] I mean, it makes complete sense. Yeah. And it, it, it brings people together, you know, it's the same, like as gossip, isn't it, people gossip to feel a part of something, even though it's negative, it's quite, it's natural gossip is natural and</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:39] it's addictive. It's like, there must be some chemical reaction that you just constantly crave the bad behavior, you know, and you're attracted to,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:38:51] it was familiar.</p>
<p>Isn't it?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:53] Exactly.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:38:54] Yeah. Just that's it's like it's, if that's all we know how [00:39:00] to feel the part, then we're just going to keep using that method until you come to like a realization like you three have already spoken about where finally some incident happens and that you see a different pathway, you know, like self-pity to self-love</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:16] you guys, there was this poem.</p>
<p>One of the last therapist that I had, by the way, every therapist I had from the age of 17 on till like, I won't tell you how old I am, but like I had many of them, they all said the same thing. Leave these people. You need to get out. And that shocked me, but I couldn't do that because of my culture. You don't do that in my culture.</p>
<p>You don't just leave the family. Anyway, but the very last memory of like the most amazing therapist that I was talking to a psychologist. She gave me this poem and I wish I could find this poem. I don't remember who wrote it. And I don't remember the words. [00:40:00] I just remember the images in my head when I read the poem.</p>
<p>And if anyone out there, if this helps you, I'm just gonna, I'm sorry, I'm taking this opportunity to talk again. And I said, I'd be quiet, but you guys, the poem was that. So this person is trying to leave, but the voices keep the person staying there. The voices keep holding that person there and the voices are terrifying.</p>
<p>And the voices keep telling you, you can't leave. Don't leave. Stay here. And, you know, you need to leave and for you to take one step at another step and another step and keep walking and the voices keep calling you and pulling you back and saying, don't leave. This is your place. Don't leave. Don't leave us.</p>
<p>It is, the voices are horrifying, but because, because you're used to it, it's, it's where you want to be, because you're used to that like, right. It's [00:41:00] comforting because you're, you're comfortable in that misery, in that bad relationship. And the poem eventually says, you know, you keep walking and all of a sudden you realize the voices are now far away until you don't hear them again.</p>
<p>And it sounds scary, but like the poem totally liberated me, but that's what it was like. You keep walking and eventually those haunting voices will stop. They will stop calling you.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:41:33] Yeah. That's it just keep going in it. Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna listen to this podcast before I go to sleep.</p>
<p> I was literally there</p>
<p>that I was at my head. I was like, Oh no, these voices. Oh dear. That you've planted the seed in</p>
<p>my head.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:49] Oh no. What upset you guys? I'm</p>
<p>saying,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:41:54] Oh, I can hear stuff.</p>
<p>[00:42:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:00] Yeah. Let's</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:42:02] keep walking. Let's go. No,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:04] seriously. Yeah. Like what Winston Churchill said, right? If, if you find yourself w what was</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:10] it? If you find yourself traveling through hell for God's sake, keep going. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:42:15] Keep walking. Wow.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:17] Sweet</p>
<p>dreams.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:42:23] Uh, right. Anyway, let's move on to butterflies and fairies KJ or Katy, </p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:42:29] for me similarly, like Beth, it isn't that I don't have anything to say. I have everything to say. So</p>
<p>I'm trying to, you know,</p>
<p>pinpoint and maybe reveal a little bit in a succinct way.</p>
<p>But I can say this, that when I learned what today's round table was about, I was tossing around in my head, what I believed or understood my [00:43:00] self principals or principals to be. And so principals for me seem to be they've morphed more into I see them more as sort of, informing and shaping, shaping movements and shaping experiences, values.</p>
<p>And like folks have mentioned before. It's natural that I moved to my childhood, to my earliest memories to see where, where they sprung from, where they were born from. And, uh, something that fun had said earlier too. And we'd spoken about  offline about, about almost</p>
<p>I mean, in utero, I kind of, emerged into this world,  this lifetime seeing, observing. So my values and my informing and shaping principles were from what I observed and what I saw. And I think Paul you mean, and to, uh, and it might've been before we hit [00:44:00] record, but this power in pausing.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:44:04] Yeah. The pause button,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:44:05] the pause button. And I learned from a very, very early, early age to be quiet and observe and trust what I'm seeing, but not speak on it right away, if at all. But just observe and know that that is one language or one interpretation of a situation, but not 100%. It's not, it's not an all knowing end all truth. It was just one interpretation of what happened or what an experience was. So if I would see somebody, if I would see other kids my age treated unkindly, I wouldn't necessarily know that that was, uh, bullying or being unkind.</p>
<p>I just sensed it. In my, in my physical being something, something would feel physically, pre mortally off [00:45:00] and And so I know, I don't know that I think language was one of the last, last intelligences  that I developed over time, but I certainly, I certainly knew to be quiet, observe, hold and pause and know that something significant was happening and that it was shaping me.</p>
<p>And it certainly impacted the way that I would then treat somebody else. And again, , I don't have specific words and language around what I just said other than I know that my values and my informing, shaping shaping experiences really have me in tuned with compassion.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:43] Empathy. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:45:45] Inclusion. I would always, I could always tell when they're needed to be a shift so that there was an inclusion and not an exclusion. I was very, very sensitive to anybody or anything that was overlooked or excluded. [00:46:00] So I knew I was always drawn to wanting to include in circle protect.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:46:05] Yeah. Yeah. Well, like you said, I mean, before you said it, I was thinking exactly those two words, compassion and empathy.</p>
<p>Cause you were speaking about that when you, when you saw other people being left out or being sad and stuff like that.  You know, empathy it's quite a natural one, isn't it? Out of all the loving kind of principles. It's probably the most natural one that we want to come together and sort of thing.</p>
<p>And it's a beautiful one to have. And especially with children, children have it more so than adults, we like kind of, you know, it gets knocked out for us. I remember this guy in rehab. Yeah. He's quite a hard man. He had gone to like eight prisons or something and he used to boast about it until another hard man came in and he had been like 20 prisons and then he stopped boasting about it.</p>
<p>And  we were talking about empathy and he was like, don't know what empathy is. He just didn't [00:47:00] know how to feel it truthfully. And it was lovely that he was being truthful about that. And towards the end, he started to just opening up and all this love started coming out and he, towards the end, he said, I feel I'm free.</p>
<p>And he could, he could speak about moments when it was coming up and  talk about situations. So, I mean, that was gorgeous to see that, see this big, hard, tough guy come into like beautiful. I didn't want to say a beautiful little flower that I don't think that's the right word but yeah. Wait,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:32] so how did he come to experience empathy?</p>
<p>How did he, how do you explain, how do you teach that? How did empathy come to him?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:47:40] I can't remember the exact moments or the examples.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:44] Why do you put a sad movie on, or like a romantic movie on and like, watch the person</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:47:52] say like, if another addict came into the rehab and they were, they were crying about that life being so [00:48:00] down and terrible, you know, Beforehand, he would have just been like, Oh, it's just another addict. That my, my life's bad. I'm not going to care about your life, but now he's like, I understand you. I feel you, when you go, when you go into their shoes and feel them, and then you, you feel sad for them and then you love them when they can't love themselves.</p>
<p>That's empathy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katie, you got</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:48:29] okay. I loved the subject. At first I thought, Oh my gosh, what is this about? Because it entails so much. And I think these are all qualities that we need to work on our, our whole life much like Beth and Matt in school. I had similar situations where in the United States we have to take a placement test called SATs and ACTs to get into college.</p>
<p>And I'm not very adapt at taking those tests so to speak in that I got a very poor [00:49:00] score and my teacher in the counselor said to me, wow, with a score like that, you're never going to get into college. Well, that crushed me because I was expected to go to college and I wanted to go to college. So, as it turns out, I did get into college on a special academic watch group where they helped you with classes.</p>
<p>And, and as it turns out, I actually didn't need to be in there. And I graduated college in four years with a B plus. And I'm like, what happened with that? And, you know,  ever since that, sometimes that voice still comes into my head and I'm like, that is just the worst thing that person could have ever said to me, because that really did follow me throughout my whole life on certain things, Oh, you're not smart enough to do this.</p>
<p>You can't do this, you can't do that. And then finally, I've got to the point where, you know, that is really something that does not serve me and I [00:50:00] have to get over that. And and I've proven many times that, that I did overcome that. And so it's just something like all these self principles, especially in my family too, I've had a lot of addiction in my family and I've had to work on acceptance, understanding forgiveness.</p>
<p>And it's just something that I have to realize that my family members are going through and it's very hard for them to overcome it and I just have to be there for them and accept it. And I do understand what's going on for them. So, you know, in conclusion, I think  these are something that comes up for us every day and challenges that we have meeting people in our everyday life.</p>
<p>We have to we have to forgive, we have to give people encouragement for the good job like our children, like, Oh, you're doing such a good [00:51:00] job. You have to have empathy for people with they're going through every day in certain stressful situations. Love is like everybody love is everything, you know, it's just, it has to be everywhere.</p>
<p>And patients too. I mean, patients, as they say is a virtue and boy, that's a hard virtue and it's something that, that actually has to be worked on every day. So I just love all of these principles and also acceptance too. One of my favorite part of acceptance is the serenity prayer that I'm sure Paul, you know, I know very well say that all the time.</p>
<p>And so, that is one of my favorites prayers, because it just doesn't have to be for people in AA it's for everybody except things I cannot change the courage. Things can change, courage, change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. So, that, that is very powerful.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:51:57] Yeah. Yeah. Wow.</p>
<p>Okay. That was [00:52:00] lovely to say, I loved as well that you said everything is love. And I mean, all of those good self principles, all kind of come under the bubble  of love or under the column, say like exactly what you said love is like on top of everything. And if you,  go in to any of those positive self principles, you kind of need love for them to be truthful and honest and really, really work.</p>
<p>And like you said, as well, like you've got to go at every day and it's all about the little steps, isn't it?  You do it every day and that's when it becomes you. Truthfully, if you just do it once every blue moon, it's never going to become you.  Gorgeous. Loved it. Nice lovely, loving Mo I only got left.</p>
<p>Am I meant to ask</p>
<p>that?  All right.</p>
<p>Groovy. </p>
<p>The last question was going to be what's your biggest moment of acceptance in your life where [00:53:00] acceptance has had the biggest impact on your life and the biggest change. And we kind of did go into that with most people. Definitely.</p>
<p>So, I mean, our next for me, yeah, mine is when I figured out I'm an addict and I'm an alcoholic sort of thing. So my brain works different compared to most other people's brains. And it goes into the, the false, the bad self principles, a lot easier than most of the people do. And I  figured out in rehab actually, when I went to rehab, that, normally when something happens before you're seven years old, it can make you feel incorrect.</p>
<p>And I remember my incident stronger than any, any other memory from when I was little. And, uh, when that happens, making you feel incorrect, not sad, but incorrect. It makes your brain stop producing the dopamine and endorphins area as much as a normal person would. [00:54:00] So I'm not getting these happy feelings in my head and obviously drugs and alcohol give you that straight away.</p>
<p>So this is why my brain wants drugs and alcohol. And this is why my brain started bringing in these manipulation self principles and stuff like this to get my fix and to get love from elsewhere, rather than myself, and to manipulate, to get drugs and money and stuff like this. And it became me because I would, you know, I did it so long such yeah, such a long period of time.</p>
<p>But yeah. To come to the realization and acceptance that I was an addict, who's just beautiful because then I could step back, look at myself in a different light and actually start doing changes rather than taking it personally and bringing in emotions when Iwanted to challenge my thoughts stepping back and going, ah, [00:55:00] okay, so there's two sides of me. There's my addict side. And then there's my other side. So seeing that, and then being able to challenge that addict side of my brain, if any of this makes sense. </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:17] totally makes sense.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:55:19] Yeah. So, I mean, when I, you know, I was going down this destructive path for most of my life, self destructive path, even from a little child.</p>
<p>And then when I got to 24 and had this beautiful realization of acceptance through the gift of desperation and because my life had gotten, so self-destructive through finally accepting that I was an addict and an alcoholic, I managed to start going into this beautiful, different direction, which wasn't self destructive, self loving, self examination, self growth self challenging, you know, so that was [00:56:00] my biggest part of acceptance in my life.</p>
<p>That's had had the biggest impact and I'm so, so blessed and grateful for that today.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:10] That's beautiful. I mean, I think that's that just staying on what you just said for me, that's a wrap right there. I mean, it's making me feel and think.  I'm getting a healing, listening to what you just said.</p>
<p>And it's a lot for me to think about. And as a mom, it's making me think about things too, with our kids and just everything. Anybody else want to say anything else?</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:56:37] I wanted to share that while everyone was speaking, you touched on something that really highlighted, uh, an arc that I've known throughout my life, which was acceptance and the definition of, and it, it was around again, language and defining, defining what [00:57:00] acceptance was, what belonging meant, what beauty meant, what intelligence meant.</p>
<p>And it wasn't until I was in college. Yeah, maybe college. Yeah. And it was certainly around the time when I was deciding between my 17 different majors that I had said that I was going to do. I ultimately was enrolled in university to be a piano and voice voice performance major. And then two weeks before I started, I bailed out and went to the local community college to study psychology and broadcast journalism.</p>
<p>And because I didn't want to pinpoint, I didn't want to box myself in with music theory and structure and regime. I thought I would lose my, my passion for, doing it. And so I was in college  studying everything under the sun. And I happened upon a developmental psychologist named Gardner who came up with and created the multiple [00:58:00] intelligences theory, which speaks a lot to what Beth and Katie spoke about and Matt, where we weren't comfortable being put into boxes of like, this is what intelligence looks like. This is what scholarly looks like. This is what smart looks like. But Gardner introduced the idea that every single thing that we can do is a arena of intelligence.</p>
<p>And so there are, it just opened up my world because I was just like, Oh my God, I fit somewhere then. He came up with a different arenas of like there's verbal intelligence, there's logical intelligence. And then there's spatial intelligence. How we use the space around us designers often use that dancers, people that work in physical therapy. And then there's musical intelligence. And,  there are eight arenas altogether, but what it did was relieved my heart. It relieved the weight on my shoulders. My brother's [00:59:00] incredibly cerebral and logical, and he was just hailed for his intelligence where I was over here composing music, writing poems, not wanting to go to school. I didn't test well either Katie. And, and any entrance exams I didn't test. Well, even though I knew I had intelligence that did it, didn't show up in my tests scores. So it was a great relief to realize that I had a level of, of somewhere, somewhere, it was defined as intelligence and acceptance.</p>
<p>And so I didn't mean to go off on a tangent like that, but that was. That was a moment when I realized that that there was acceptance and there are definitely different definitions behind behind these values and principles. What might be a principle for my mother or for my logically minded family members, I didn't hold the same. I didn't hold it in the same light.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:59:54] Yeah. Similar to what Matt was on about. Yeah. Yeah. Loving yourself.</p>
<p>[01:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:00] I didn't test. Well either, guys! Surprise. Surprise.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:00:05] Sweet! Welcome!!</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:00:07] So I remember my mum, she sent me to boarding school. When I got my results. She was like, we might as well just send you to a normal school  Paul. Charming.</p>
<p>What a charmer.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:24] That's another structure that needs to change our whole education system that needs to change the way we test for everything. I don't know what the tests are like in different countries, but here it's like, you have to be of a social group that's accepted and it's usually Caucasian and wealthy for you to pass these tests because of the way the words are phrased, the way the questions are phrased.</p>
<p>You have to think a certain way. So you take, you spend all this money to learn how to take the SATs and the ACTs so you can acquire the knowledge [01:01:00] of whatever mindset it is that created these questions. So you can understand them and then answer them the way they want you to answer them, rather than it really should be the other way around.</p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:01:12] It's not about like what, you know, it's about how you say it don't make</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:16] sense. Right?</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[01:01:18] So I think that the curriculum should be built around what KJ is talking about. You know, if you built it around the different intelligences than you would allow everybody to be who they are in one of those themes and the world would be a better place because you'd be starting much younger, believing in yourself, believing in what you have as gifts for the world are true and rightful and should be, should be used in the world.</p>
<p>Instead of trying to fit into this almost just academic route that we, we tend to place on people. So the whole curriculums need to change. Maybe it will. That's my hope.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>[01:02:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:59] Can you guys imagine what would happen with the economy? If everything was that way from the beginning? We would thrive.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:02:12] Yeah, very man.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:13] Yeah. Is there so many people with so many talents and it's crushed before you have a chance to develop.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:02:21] There's a, there's a couple of schools in England, Beth  that do that I can't  remember the name for the schools. But they're private schools.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:02:32] I'm wondering,</p>
<p>is it Montessori the way that we see things here in the States?</p>
<p>And I don't know if it's across Europe as well. Montessori, am I even pronouncing it correctly?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:42] You're pronouncing it correctly.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:02:43] Yeah. So it's a little closer to that in that that you get to sort of rotate between different stations, that address different intelligence, intelligences and skills. And it's not like between two and three, you're going to [01:03:00] do math, you know, it's, wander in that direction and see where, see where you're.</p>
<p>Thriving see where you're connecting and engaging.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:08] Yeah. And again, if you're lucky enough to go to some Montessori school yeah. It takes money. Yes.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:03:16] Then there's that good luck getting in there?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:18] Oh my God. Yeah. I was so mad. I had friends that didn't go to Montessori. It was a different kind of a thing.</p>
<p>It was in LA and it was structured kind of like what you were describing KJ. And I had no idea things like that existed. So when I was in my early, early, no, I was in my twenties when I found out like, you know, you meet friends and you're like, where'd you go to school? If you're, we were all from LA, but I'm like, where'd you go to school?</p>
<p>They're like, where'd you go to school? And when I found out what school they went to and what their school was, I was so mad. Yeah, because I'm like, wait a minute. Now, what you, what you did, you did [01:04:00] what? I didn't know that existed and sure enough, they came from a very wealthy family and yeah, it was one of those schools, all the, all the children of movie stars went to, you know, in West LA and it's just an elite kind of experience.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:04:17] it's getting more, robotic as well now with all like, uh, well, I think it was in 1990. I can't remember 1990 something, especially when, uh, the English schools education board changed. So we used to have a separate board who controlled the education of, of the British children. And then it became changed into the government's control that that it became the government board kind of thing. So now the government chooses what education systems are in place instead of its own entity. And it's become ever since that, I speak to my mum about it. Cause she's a teacher and she agrees that it has become more [01:05:00] robotic and more everyone has to be the same kind of thing,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:03] like a factory.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:05:06] Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:07] That's why we homeschool because everything's set up like it was at the turn of. No, actually, we can't, I can't say turn of the century anymore. You know, like the beginning of the early 19 hundreds, right. We're developing factories and you stand in line. Everything is like a processing line. And schools are set up the same exact way.</p>
<p>And they're to this day, still training you to be a factory worker. That's that mentality. And it doesn't work. And the types of jobs that will be in existence in a few years don't even exist right now. So what they're teaching kids and what they're teaching, even college level people, you're what do you study for like you're, you're studying the same old, same old from a time that's now gone [01:06:00] and doesn't it doesn't compute.</p>
<p>You know, like you can't keep being so rigid and doing things the same old way.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:06:08] It's funny you say it doesn't compute because yes, indeed. Yeah. The lower schools, but in, in university, you know, I was taught how things ended up where they are today and taught how to think</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:06:22] you went to a very liberal university.</p>
<p>You said, I mean that that's not the norm. You went to a really good school.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:06:32] I just know my, what I experienced. So we gotta wrap this one kids.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:06:36] All right, guys. Well, I hope I don't give people nightmares. I'm sorry. I feel like you guys hate me for what I just say. Stop it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:06:48] Come back</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:06:55] guys. We'll see you in a few days. Thank you everyone.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:06:59] Thanks.</p>
<p>[01:07:00] <strong>Paul: </strong>[01:06:59] Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:04] Bye everybody. Talk to you later. Oh, go to, well, our friendly world podcast.com  https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/. And you will find links to everyone here. If you want to talk to anyone. All right, we'll see you later. Thanks for joining us, everyone. Bye-bye bye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Today we have our fantastic, amazing friend, Paul, who is leading this session today on the concept of self-principle as a whole, being an action. It's the actions we take on our thoughts that come up.
The conversation further travels to the concept intelligence of multiple intelligence theory and how all these ways of thinking and being transforms us and society.
We also talk about school, all kinds of different forms of intelligence, finding other ways, other paths in our lives that don’t go with the status quo but reveal our true selves and our true gifts.
Hall of Fame quotes from the episode:
the more we practice it, the more it becomes us,
 
 I am not defined by how other people choose to see me. I'm defined by who I am. -Not the perception, not the looking through the lens of someone else's experience.
 
if everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong.
 
Winston Churchill - If you find yourself traveling through hell for God's sake, keep going.
 
Paul: say like, if another addict came into the rehab and they were, they were crying about that life being so down and terrible, you know, Beforehand, he would have just been like, Oh, it's just another addict. That my, my life's bad. I'm not going to care about your life, but now he's like, I understand you. I feel you, when you go, when you go into their shoes and feel them, and then you, you feel sad for them and then you love them when they can't love themselves. That's empathy.
 
Katy: We have to we have to forgive, we have to give people encouragement for the good job like our children, like, Oh, you're doing such a good job. You have to have empathy for people with they're going through every day in certain stressful situations. Love is like everybody love is everything, you know, it's just, it has to be everywhere.
everything is love.
the multiple intelligences theory,
Gardner introduced the idea that every single thing that we can do is a arena of intelligence.
 
Beth: there are definitely different definitions behind behind these values and principles. What might be a principle for my mother or for my logically minded family members, I didn't hold the same. I didn't hold it in the same light.
 
Beth:  I think that the curriculum should be built around what KJ is talking about. You know, if you built it around the different intelligences than you would allow everybody to be who they are in one of those themes and the world would be a better place because you'd be starting much younger, believing in yourself, believing in what you have as gifts for the world are true and rightful and should be, should be used in the world.Instead of trying to fit into this almost just academic route that we, we tend to place on people. So the whole curriculums need to change. Maybe it will. That's my hope.
 
 
Transcript:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello everybody. Hello. Welcome to a friendly world. Welcome to our round table. Connected round table. Connected. We talk about all the different ways we are interconnected. We have friends from around the world at the table, and every week we have a different topic. Today's topic is self principle, and I am so excited to introduce you to Paul Martin also known as Lotus, who will be leading us through our session today?  At our table today, we have my love, Matt Anderson. We have our beautiful, beautiful Katy LoSasso. Hello. We have our beautiful Beth Hewitt. We have our beautiful KJ.  You're beautiful too, Matt. Thank you. All right. We have KJ Nasrul here. We have me. [00:01:00] Hello? I'm Fawn. Thanks babe. All right. So today when we have beautiful Paul, I did say Paul and I was just about to say we have a new cut me off, and today we have our fantastic, amazing friend, Paul, who is leading this session tod...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Roundtable.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:08:12</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Life Lessons - You Hear me? You Feel Me? Do You Smell What I'm Steppin' In? With Lyrics and Lattes]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Jun 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/life-lessons-you-hear-me-you-feel-me-do-you-smell-what-i39m-steppin39-in-with-lyrics-and-lattes</guid>
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                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We welcome Jason Wallace and Trevor DeSaussure from the podcast, Lyrics and Lattes. And these guys are so lovely, inspiring, upbeat, positive, and so deep. They gift their listeners with wisdom, so many life lessons; provide perfect self-development though breaking down lyrics of hip hop.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.lyricsandlattes.com/">https://www.lyricsandlattes.com/</a></p>
<p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lyricsandlattes/">https://www.instagram.com/lyricsandlattes/</a></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello? Hello. Hello everyone. Welcome to our friendly world. Very special guests today. I am really excited.  Listen to this.</p>
<p>" The art of a people is a true mirror to the minds."- Jawaharlal Nehru.  Here's another one by Georgia. O'Keeffe: "I found, I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way -things I had no words for." And then Leonardo da Vinci: " Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt. And poetry is painting. That is felt rather than seen. "</p>
<p> Today we have two amazing, amazing men here. And their podcast is just, I think the best podcast I've ever heard.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:55] It's a great name. Isn't it?</p>
<p> The podcast is called Lyrics and [00:01:00] Lattes. And these guys are so lovely and so inspiring and so upbeat and so positive and so deep. They have so much wisdom, so many life lessons to help us with, so much self-development, tips from your favorite hip hop songs, they break lyrics down. And it's like, for me, it's like going back to school when I had the most amazing teachers break down Hemingway and, you know, things that kind of like I would read, but they would go over my head and then the, the, the professor would break it down and say, what do you think this person meant by this sentence or this one word?</p>
<p>Or, you know, and, and we would spend hours talking about one sentence and it transformed my entire life. This is what Jason and Trevor do, [00:02:00] Jason Wallace and Trevor DeSaussure Trevor, am I pronouncing your last name? Right? The</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:02:06] first person to ever get that right on the first try.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:11] So everyone friends out there, please help us welcome Jason and Trevor from the podcast Lyrics and Lattes. Ah, it is, I, I am so glad I met you guys. We met at Podfest. They did a presentation and, uh, I, I was flying. I was so I'm still so excited. And this was what? A week ago? Two weeks ago. When was it? I don't even remember, but I am forever transformed and so uplifted.  I'm just so excited by these people. Right. Let's get to all right. All right. So today's subject is going to sound like it's not upbeat at all, but Trevor and Jason have a really great [00:03:00] pulse. Like they have, what do you call what's the term when they have a pulse on society? Is that the term?</p>
<p>Yeah. Yeah, they have that. So they break down these amazing songs and, and really help you in life. They're amazing coaches. So, first of all, I guess I should say welcome Trevor and Jason, Hello!</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:03:23] That was one heck of an intro. Thanks for having me.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:03:26] We got to really deliver now. Don't we?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:31] I love you guys. And you were so funny. Did I mention they're funny, please check them out. They are hysterically funny, right? No, absolutely. Um, so today's topic guys is society's greatest pain, greatest challenge.  We talk about art all the time. I talk about art, you know, art. My background is that you're also an artist, Matt.</p>
<p>I never, I never considered computer programming and math and all of [00:04:00] that to be an art form, but it really is. It's in, and it's incredibly intuitive. So it's for everyone. And since we're look...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We welcome Jason Wallace and Trevor DeSaussure from the podcast, Lyrics and Lattes. And these guys are so lovely, inspiring, upbeat, positive, and so deep. They gift their listeners with wisdom, so many life lessons; provide perfect self-development though breaking down lyrics of hip hop.
https://www.lyricsandlattes.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lyricsandlattes/
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello? Hello. Hello everyone. Welcome to our friendly world. Very special guests today. I am really excited.  Listen to this.
" The art of a people is a true mirror to the minds."- Jawaharlal Nehru.  Here's another one by Georgia. O'Keeffe: "I found, I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way -things I had no words for." And then Leonardo da Vinci: " Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt. And poetry is painting. That is felt rather than seen. "
 Today we have two amazing, amazing men here. And their podcast is just, I think the best podcast I've ever heard.
Matt: [00:00:55] It's a great name. Isn't it?
 The podcast is called Lyrics and [00:01:00] Lattes. And these guys are so lovely and so inspiring and so upbeat and so positive and so deep. They have so much wisdom, so many life lessons to help us with, so much self-development, tips from your favorite hip hop songs, they break lyrics down. And it's like, for me, it's like going back to school when I had the most amazing teachers break down Hemingway and, you know, things that kind of like I would read, but they would go over my head and then the, the, the professor would break it down and say, what do you think this person meant by this sentence or this one word?
Or, you know, and, and we would spend hours talking about one sentence and it transformed my entire life. This is what Jason and Trevor do, [00:02:00] Jason Wallace and Trevor DeSaussure Trevor, am I pronouncing your last name? Right? The
Trevor: [00:02:06] first person to ever get that right on the first try.
Fawn: [00:02:11] So everyone friends out there, please help us welcome Jason and Trevor from the podcast Lyrics and Lattes. Ah, it is, I, I am so glad I met you guys. We met at Podfest. They did a presentation and, uh, I, I was flying. I was so I'm still so excited. And this was what? A week ago? Two weeks ago. When was it? I don't even remember, but I am forever transformed and so uplifted.  I'm just so excited by these people. Right. Let's get to all right. All right. So today's subject is going to sound like it's not upbeat at all, but Trevor and Jason have a really great [00:03:00] pulse. Like they have, what do you call what's the term when they have a pulse on society? Is that the term?
Yeah. Yeah, they have that. So they break down these amazing songs and, and really help you in life. They're amazing coaches. So, first of all, I guess I should say welcome Trevor and Jason, Hello!
Trevor: [00:03:23] That was one heck of an intro. Thanks for having me.
Jason: [00:03:26] We got to really deliver now. Don't we?
Fawn: [00:03:31] I love you guys. And you were so funny. Did I mention they're funny, please check them out. They are hysterically funny, right? No, absolutely. Um, so today's topic guys is society's greatest pain, greatest challenge.  We talk about art all the time. I talk about art, you know, art. My background is that you're also an artist, Matt.
I never, I never considered computer programming and math and all of [00:04:00] that to be an art form, but it really is. It's in, and it's incredibly intuitive. So it's for everyone. And since we're look...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Life Lessons - You Hear me? You Feel Me? Do You Smell What I'm Steppin' In? With Lyrics and Lattes]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We welcome Jason Wallace and Trevor DeSaussure from the podcast, Lyrics and Lattes. And these guys are so lovely, inspiring, upbeat, positive, and so deep. They gift their listeners with wisdom, so many life lessons; provide perfect self-development though breaking down lyrics of hip hop.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.lyricsandlattes.com/">https://www.lyricsandlattes.com/</a></p>
<p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lyricsandlattes/">https://www.instagram.com/lyricsandlattes/</a></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello? Hello. Hello everyone. Welcome to our friendly world. Very special guests today. I am really excited.  Listen to this.</p>
<p>" The art of a people is a true mirror to the minds."- Jawaharlal Nehru.  Here's another one by Georgia. O'Keeffe: "I found, I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way -things I had no words for." And then Leonardo da Vinci: " Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt. And poetry is painting. That is felt rather than seen. "</p>
<p> Today we have two amazing, amazing men here. And their podcast is just, I think the best podcast I've ever heard.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:55] It's a great name. Isn't it?</p>
<p> The podcast is called Lyrics and [00:01:00] Lattes. And these guys are so lovely and so inspiring and so upbeat and so positive and so deep. They have so much wisdom, so many life lessons to help us with, so much self-development, tips from your favorite hip hop songs, they break lyrics down. And it's like, for me, it's like going back to school when I had the most amazing teachers break down Hemingway and, you know, things that kind of like I would read, but they would go over my head and then the, the, the professor would break it down and say, what do you think this person meant by this sentence or this one word?</p>
<p>Or, you know, and, and we would spend hours talking about one sentence and it transformed my entire life. This is what Jason and Trevor do, [00:02:00] Jason Wallace and Trevor DeSaussure Trevor, am I pronouncing your last name? Right? The</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:02:06] first person to ever get that right on the first try.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:11] So everyone friends out there, please help us welcome Jason and Trevor from the podcast Lyrics and Lattes. Ah, it is, I, I am so glad I met you guys. We met at Podfest. They did a presentation and, uh, I, I was flying. I was so I'm still so excited. And this was what? A week ago? Two weeks ago. When was it? I don't even remember, but I am forever transformed and so uplifted.  I'm just so excited by these people. Right. Let's get to all right. All right. So today's subject is going to sound like it's not upbeat at all, but Trevor and Jason have a really great [00:03:00] pulse. Like they have, what do you call what's the term when they have a pulse on society? Is that the term?</p>
<p>Yeah. Yeah, they have that. So they break down these amazing songs and, and really help you in life. They're amazing coaches. So, first of all, I guess I should say welcome Trevor and Jason, Hello!</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:03:23] That was one heck of an intro. Thanks for having me.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:03:26] We got to really deliver now. Don't we?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:31] I love you guys. And you were so funny. Did I mention they're funny, please check them out. They are hysterically funny, right? No, absolutely. Um, so today's topic guys is society's greatest pain, greatest challenge.  We talk about art all the time. I talk about art, you know, art. My background is that you're also an artist, Matt.</p>
<p>I never, I never considered computer programming and math and all of [00:04:00] that to be an art form, but it really is. It's in, and it's incredibly intuitive. So it's for everyone. And since we're looking at music, you know, Matt, Trevor, and Jason, I don't know if you know, but Matt is a hardcore heavy metal guy.</p>
<p>Hardcore.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:19] No, no, no, no, no. Let's let's let's frame it properly. Okay. I'm a heavy metal guy. Okay. But I'm a power metal guy now heavy metal guys are gonna say, oh, that's not real heavy metal. So when she says hardcore people like to hear technical death and all sorts of doom and all sorts of other things. No, that's not me.</p>
<p>It's all power all the time. It sounds like doom, but it is,</p>
<p>oh, you should hear the doom. Oh my goodness. No, all vocals must be clean.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:04:45] So the heavy metal is, is that like, is that like creed and the Jonas brothers?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:50] No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:51] Okay. So the music I listened to comes from in a direct line from Dio who was lead singer of Sabbath for [00:05:00] awhile, uh, Iron Maiden</p>
<p>they were the part of the new wave of British heavy metal Halloween, which nobody has ever heard of, which is the Seminole band in the, in the sphere of power metal. And this is all European. This was all super clean vocals. This is how many octaves can you sing has a very classical kind of understanding to it.</p>
<p>It doesn't have to be played fast. Although sometimes it is, it doesn't have to be played super heavy, but sometimes it is. Um, but it's, it's, it's always classically oriented and very uplifting to them.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:32] Really?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:33] Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:34] Oh my God. All right. Well, I don't, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like it's destroying me when I walk into the room and you're</p>
<p>playing it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:42] You know, if you put on Dragon Force, which is kind of Nintendo metal, which is literally, let's go as fast as humanly possible. I understand that, you know, you can get lost in it because there's so many notes being played, but then you take the more operatic vocals of like a Nightwish or a within [00:06:00] temptation.</p>
<p>Um, and it's, it's, it's, it's its own thing. It's practically opera at</p>
<p>that point. I wonder if we can compare to</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:06:07] hip hop power as power rock</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:11] Within Temptation, they are a,</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:06:13] uh, within, I think you might like my girl.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:16] Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope. Sorry. Within temptation they're a, a Netherland. They were banned from the Netherlands.</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:23] So based on these two worlds, we have hip hop, we have heavy metal.  I was wondering if we could pick up on what you all think globally society on a global scale, what is society's greatest pain right now? What is being expressed right now? For the most part, do you know what I mean?</p>
<p>What's the common emotion. What is the common, what's the word I'm looking for?  I don't want to say theme, but what's the common thread thread. What's the common.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:57] Challenge fought the</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:58] common [00:07:00] belief. What is happening in our society around the world. Right.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:07:02] I smell what y'all are stepin' in. So I think right now that's a, that's a very con I just say that all the</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:08] time.</p>
<p>Sorry. No, no, no. It's all good. I'm going to laugh every time you say it.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:07:11] I'm going to say it probably like nine more times, but I think everyone. So right now there is number one, history repeats itself over and over again. These are these aren't today's emotions. Um, we, the, these emotions run in a cycle and right now with the pandemic going on right now, a lot of people are feeling fear.</p>
<p>They're very unsure about a lot of things. Um, but these are things. These aren't new emotions we've run through this before. Last time it was, I want to say I don't want it. No, it wasn't the yellow fever. I think it was polio. But I know these, these aren't new emotions that people are feeling right now.</p>
<p> There's a reason it's called the common struggle.  It's because everybody feels that we all want the same thing from around the world. We want it to grow old and watch our family be happy. Like those end goal. That's what everybody wants. So, uh, [00:08:00] today's emotion, I think, is at the forefront of everybody's mind is we're just unsure and being unsure, brings about fear.</p>
<p>Uh, so I think that's, we're about where we're at as a global community.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:11] Okay. And before we start, before we start, let's talk about coffee. Alright. Do you all have coffee with you today? Are you drinking coffee or is it too late on the east coast right now for coffee?</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:08:20] So our show is lyrics and lattes in which we actually feature coffee on every episode, but we neglected to bring coffee here.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:29] Oh,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:29] so this is just lyrics. Oh dear.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:08:33] I went to a coffee shop this morning. Uh, that was down the street for me. Yeah, I can't, I can't keep doing that to myself.I'm gonna end up... I would have been off the wall bouncing around on this.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:44] Fair enough. Sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:46] I never have coffee and here I am drinking in honor of you. I am drinking</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:08:52] well,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:54] well, it's actually a decaf and it's instant and it's from the [00:09:00] store.</p>
<p>We</p>
<p>know, but here's what I did to it. I am so I'm Persian and I put rosewater and cardamom in it with water.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:13] Hey. Oh.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:14] And vegan cream,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:16] and  there you go.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:09:18] Kind of an Americano</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:21] and, and I'm, I'm almost, I'm even worse. I think this is straight up instant decaf with. A teaspoon of maple syrup and chocolate milk, vegan, chocolate milk, but chocolate milk.</p>
<p>So there you go.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:09:39] In that cup right now, there is</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:41] doesn't look very happy. How about our</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:43] choices? No, he shouldn't be, this is .</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:09:47] We have guests that come on that sometimes don't bring coffee. So the fact that you try, we appreciate it. I am drinking something dear. What I'm drinking is something stronger than coffee.</p>
<p>It's a [00:10:00] DC tap water, uh, here in the DC area. You just put the glass in the tap directly. It comes out hot, no matter what temperature you asked for, it's going to come out, hot, drink that thing, recent hair on your chest.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:13] So Jason you're from DC. And what you're you come from politics  what's your background? You guys, can you tell us how you started?</p>
<p>How in the world did you come about doing what you're doing with this podcast? Because it is you, you are so brilliant and you're so amazing. Where have you been all my life or where have I been where. I w who, what</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:10:35] happened? I got you, Trevor smelled what you're steppin' in  so, well, number one, you gassing us up really heavy.</p>
<p>So we appreciate that. So, um, one of the things, so I'm from, uh, San Bernardino,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:49] we're from Southern California originally.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:10:52] Hey, so, um, one of the things that really struck me is that like a lot of people grow up, you know, you see, you hear about these [00:11:00] motivational gurus, the Tony Robbins, the Mel Robbins, the Gary Vaynerchuks.</p>
<p>And while they're all phenomenal, fantastic people, it was hard for me to connect to people like this, growing up in a place in San Bernardino and where, you know, half the people who live there and live on public assistance. And, you know, it was been bankrupt for some time. So growing up, I listened to Ice Cube.</p>
<p>I listened to Tupac Shakur. I listened to these artists and I pooled inspiration and nuggets. I remember I would actually listen to NAS and like what a dictionary, because the, the, the words you use it sometimes. Yeah. I don't know what this word means. I was a child at the time. I'm I'm smart now.</p>
<p>Anyways. Um, uh, anyways, what I, what I, like, I I've always taken truth and, personal development from these artists that come from my communities. So it only makes sense to like, to do a show around it. And it's like, I realized one of my, I was talking to my wife and she'd be, you know, dancing to a song.</p>
<p>And did you hear what he just said? And she was like, no, I had no idea. [00:12:00] And it's like, I thought everybody else was doing this thing too. So in similar to like heavy metal, how you mentioned, like how, you know, inspirational, it might be, but other people may not hear that. Right? Cause like rappers tend to give, tend to get like a bad rap. They get a bad rep. Rappers get like a bad rep on their music or what it is they're talking about, but even in things that are not as positive, you can find truth in them.  We had Ja Rule on our show, uh, about a month or so ago. And he, he raps about like violent things is it do from Murder Inc Label, like that was the name of his label. And he's talking about enemies trying to get him. But we were able to like when we had him on the show to break down lyrics specifically around building perseverance, because he's talking about having enemies as trying to stop him and he's going to continue anyways.</p>
<p>So even though some of the lyrics were a little bit, you know, raunchier than the others at the end of the day, he's, he's giving you specific steps on how to get there. So whether it's him or whether it's, [00:13:00] you know, another rapper, like we're pulling inspiration from these people that have real life experiences from our communities that have now doing these amazing things.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:09] Oh, I'm so grateful to you because I listened to you. I'm like, I just feel like I'm rocketing into outer space sitting at my, at my desk.  We work in a very tight environment. Matt works  a few inches away from me and our two little girls work a few inches away from us. We're all  huddled together in this tiny room working.</p>
<p>And I'm listening to you guys. I'm like, like I have to be quiet, but I feel like I am soaring because of you guys. It's so important what you're doing. I'm so glad. So, anyway, I'm sorry. I digress, please go on. Tell us more.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:13:49] That's what we want you to feel like.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:53] And Trevor, so wait,  Jason, how did you get involved in politics?  What are you doing over [00:14:00] there in DC besides. Besides the amazing podcast.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:14:05] Yeah. I mean, uh, a former life, I used to work at the white house and I traveled with a bunch of different politicians and then now work at the mayor's office and it's great.</p>
<p>I enjoy it. But like, this work is different because like I'm here.  What we do is we provide personal development tips, like very specific personal development tips from J Cole. Like, instead of from,  these other places where you will find them, normally you, you mentioned a quote earlier, and you broke down an amazing quote and it's just like, we do the same thing , but we just do it from LittleWayne it's it's and I think what it does is that number one, it inspires people and  it encourages  people and is growth there.</p>
<p>And then number two, what it does is that it gives you a newfound respect for some of these artists that you only hear these, you know, the pop songs, not realizing what they're actually saying.</p>
<p>[00:15:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:00] Exactly. They're our modern day Leonardo Davincis. They're our modern day Shakespeare's and yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:15:07] And Kanye west will be very quick to let you know that with those exact</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:11] words, exactly.</p>
<p>The  Medici family  come sponsor me. Totally.</p>
<p> And  Trevor our please, who, where are you? Where have you been? And please tell us more about you.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:15:30] So I'm, uh, out of Florida at Rocklin, Florida.  I've been content creating since I was about 16. I started out in a little newspaper.  And now I make nationally recognized ads.  And so when we started this podcast, it was kind of, it was kind of great because we already had a person that was really good at networking.</p>
<p>We had another person that was really good at already creating material.   And we both enjoy hip hop and we're both, uh, we make each other laugh. So I figured we'd probably make other people laugh too. So, um, it was just a match made in heaven when we got started. Um, but [00:16:00] no, I enjoy I'm a filmmaker but beyond that, I also get into audio engineering. So when you guys were talking about rock and roll, a second ago, I get into the processes. I study a little bit of everybody. I get into the history of everything. Um, I'm a photographer. Um, that's because both of those things make you better and I'll look at that.</p>
<p>Look, I'm not the only one in the house. I love those things make you better at filmmaking. So, um, I've kind of branched out and all of it's centered around being a better filmmaker, but, um, that is the bread and butter. Yeah. That's who I am.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:29] How did you meet, how did the two of you connect.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:16:35] That actually at a wedding, we weren't the ones getting married, like, um, uh, we were actually, uh, I was filming a wedding and I think it was just Jason's friend and, uh, w we just got along really well.</p>
<p>I don't remember when we tried to contact information, but, um, yeah, we got along really well, and it's just been cool ever since, so</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:16:56] nice. Okay. So</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:57] let's get into it. Let's get, it was going to [00:17:00] start. Are we going to start heavy metal or are we going to start hip hop up?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:03] You know, Trevor already laid down what he thought, the society's greatest pain challenges, which is, uh, the, just the Ron certainties and being unsure of what's going on.</p>
<p>And certainly we can totally see that with, with certainly with the pandemic and just everything got flipped up in the air over the past year. And we can argue that everything's been flipped up in the air it feels like for the past five years or 10 years, as, as everything is gradually going through a shift and a change.</p>
<p>But, uh, but Jason, where are you coming at?</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:17:31] I mean, I would say, you know, I think the thing we're dealing with now is like we're operating in silos. I think, I think like, I think what Trevor went mentioned was a great point about how like, in the end of the day, we just want to be, you know, live long, healthy life and then watch our family and be happy with our families.</p>
<p>Right. That's what that's like the kernel of it. And I also think that like the other piece of it is just like to get there not being so siloed. Well, we [00:18:00] went through this past year whether it would be, you know, with, with the, with where there is, you know, in politics or it's just  in like policing and justice and those areas, or what's going on right now and Israel, like, it's just, there's so many people that's operating in these are my, this is my group. This is this group. This group is separate than my group, but finding, I mean, that stuff is fine, but finding a sense of unity, uh, and that's like, you know, queen Latifah and when bringing in lyrics all day.</p>
<p>So like, you know, Queen Latifa had the U N I T Y that's a unity. And it's just like finding ways to be, you know, where we can be our own and be our, you know, be ourselves and be authentic, whatever that, whatever culture we come from, but understand that we are a small part of something larger with the human race and that we can all get along together.</p>
<p>I think that's something that we need to get there.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:46] So you guys, this is what happens with me. I'm a photographer, also a documentary photographer, and I've been shooting for decades now. And one of the things about me is. When I'm creating, when [00:19:00] I'm going through stuff, I don't create actually like it doesn't, it's all within me.</p>
<p>So if you were to come to my photography studio, not one picture, will be up on the walls. Everything is bare and that's what I do during creation. So my question is, do you guys think, well, not think, but what has been produced the the past year or two? What lyrics? I mean, Matt, do you listen to new music right now?</p>
<p>You know, can you get a true pulse on what's going on with heavy metal? Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:35] This has been a real challenge, I think, particularly in, you know, leading up to, doing what we're doing right now, which is wow. Okay. So what am I listening to? You know, I, I think I'm as guilty as anyone else, as far as really siloing myself.</p>
<p>You know, I want to say the music I'm listening to, and there's a band called Delaine. There's a band called, um, Scardust, which happens to be Israeli. There's a band. [00:20:00] And, um, Nightwish released a new one last year, but, um, you know, as far as like really highlighting, I mean, everybody's creating in a vacuum, I think at this point, at least in the music I'm listening to.</p>
<p>So there's not a lot of really immersing ourselves in with other people, which I think is, I honestly think it's that it's, that, that to me is the biggest pain I'm feeling. That siloing thing. Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:20:24] A part of that. I actually, uh, it's become easier, I think, to collaborate because we've had to find new ways.</p>
<p>Like I get it. It's we're on opposite sides of the country right now. We're S we're talking. Right. Um, and so it's become. There's a good and a bad to it because you're by yourself, we're social animals. You're physically by yourself. So, and we're social animals. We need that human connection. Um, but it's been easier, especially in this digital age, to collaborate with people.</p>
<p> Ja Rule was in New York when we interviewed him. Senator Castro was in Texas. Um, secretary, I'm sorry. Uh, secretary, I said, and I [00:21:00] said, um, I mean, easier to get people to come to us physically, um, to make something or not physically, but digitally to make something, um, a great part about it I love is that hip hop is connected directly to the streets. It's connected to the people. It doesn't matter how it's most popular music in the world, but at the end of the day, it's real people talking about the things that bother them. That's what it was when it started. And that's what it is still today even with the pop songs. Go to every pop song right now, that's hip hop and listen to what they're saying if it's not a club song, J Cole is, has released an entire album, 12 song album about how he grew up and what's bothering him today and the things that frustrate him. So, um, th there's a give and  a pull to it, but, uh, in ways I think it's become slightly easier to create, honestly.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:50] Can I put you on the spot, both of you like both groups, um, I'm, I'm putting Trevor and Jason into [00:22:00] one, and then I'm putting you on the other side, Matt, with heavy metal, but can you, can you guys, Trevor and Jason, can you do what you do on your show?</p>
<p>Can you pick out some words of wisdom from some pieces of music that would tell us what's going on? What is in people's hearts right now? And can we break it down? Can you break it down the way you do? And can you do that?</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:22:26] Oh, I thought we, I thought we got started and I was right. Oh</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:29] no, go ahead. Now. I just want Matt to not be quiet this time.</p>
<p>So I want Matt to also do it, but please go ahead, Trevor. I did not mean to interrupt.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:22:39] There was a song by J Cole just came out.  It's called hunger on hillside and at the very end of it, it's by J Cole and featuring  Bas. And in it, the hook is all the pain you hold makes you worth your weight in gold. So they're saying all of the struggles that you went through; you're forming a personal bias to the world. So everybody has a personal bias to the world.  And that [00:23:00] personal bias kind of creates who you are. There's nobody has the exact same life experience that you have, um, all of the struggles that you went through in life, are what made you what you are today. So even if it hurt a little bit in the past,  it made you stronger and all of that pain makes you worth your weight in gold.  So J Cole, just reminding you, yeah, we're going through a hard time right now, but it's going to make you stronger at the end of it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:23] Love it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:23] Yeah. No, that's, that's so powerful. And, and I want to say, unfortunately, the more I think about it, like the music I listened to were were very ivory, towering things. What do you mean? What does that mean?</p>
<p>Um, so if you listen to a band, like Sabaton, for instance, they did a whole concept album on, on world war one. Wow. Okay. Which is great, but that doesn't really take us to today. Um, the music I listened to very much tries to get us away from today on some level. </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:48] Why is that? Why do you think they do that? .</p>
<p>Um, do you think they do that because</p>
<p>maybe they don't have struggles with their own these days?</p>
<p>Well, they just go to the past maybe. I mean, they are white European</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:59] and [00:24:00] there you go. Maybe that has a lot to do with it. I'm not gonna, I'm not going to deny that. Um, but I am gonna say that it does certainly keep us,  it keeps the focus away from where you are right now.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:11] Huh. And going back to white Europeans, Northern Europeans, I mean, they're still probably feeling the pain of what happened World War I and world war II and things weren't really resolved.</p>
<p>They weren't resolved World War I was not resolved.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:24:29] Well, definitely not.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:30] Right. And then they created because of World War I, all that strife started to build in the middle east. And I think a lot of the problems we have now is the way they wrapped up world war one, you know, they, they just kind of put things together and put all the borders together and said, okay, there you go, not taking into consideration all the different cultures, all the different tastes and all the different people and languages, they just [00:25:00] put them all together, like we don't care. We don't see you. Here's your space. And I don't know. I don't know. So I'm sorry.</p>
<p>Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. Again, it's a problem.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:12] I think, I think honestly,  in as much as we are siloed, it's, it's that, you know, we need to see each other as, as people, as someone like me. And I think the messaging that gets sent from popular media is, you don't understand my problems. I don't understand your problems. You're different from me.</p>
<p>And, and that's frightening. And I don't want that, you know, I don't want to be exposed to that, but I think we need to be exposed to that. I think we need to come to as much of an understanding as we possibly can of life experiences that other people are encountering that are radically different from ours, but that's uncomfortable. You know, that makes me feel uncomfortable to even talk about because you know, it's like, I know the path I'm walking on. And I know where I'm going [00:26:00] and I don't want something to come along and kind of knock me off my path</p>
<p>to our marriage folks. I'm the opposite. I want to talk about it. I'm going to bring it up.</p>
<p>We've even had fights on our show. Matt walks away. I'm like, don't you walk away, come back. You're right now,</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:26:19] something I find interesting. And we broke this down in a previous episode is one of our highest sixteens. Um, I took quotes from the Bible, the Koran, uh, script from Hinduism. They all said the same thing.</p>
<p>We all want the same thing. And these are scripts from people that would have never saw each other in their lifetimes. Um, because we didn't have that kind of travel yet. Right. We did. It was just taking you forever to get there. So they probably never saw each other. Um, we all had the same again. We all, at the end of the day, we all want the same thing.</p>
<p>Most songs. I mean, if some, if some heartbroken dudes always over some girl, you know what I mean? Like it's, we all want the same.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:56] They did, they did come together. Trevor, they came [00:27:00] together, all the different religions came together in the middle east. Um, all the different religions, all the different religious heads, they came together and much like what you guys do on your podcast. That's what they did. They shared each other's knowledge.</p>
<p>They shared each other's poetry. They shared each other's insights, um, algebra, like, um, all these sciences and they created basically, um, a church was this amazing, uh, place of worship for education; studying everything from math to art, to everything. And so they did come together. They did. And they broke the lyrics down in a way.</p>
<p>If you think about it, they broke things down. And what happened? What</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:27:49] shouts out to algebra.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:51] Right? It's just, so, anyway, I'm sorry. So where do we go from here?</p>
<p>[00:28:00] <strong>Jason: </strong>[00:28:03] Gotcha. Wait, wait, wait, wait, Matt, you bring your break your lyric down yet. I didn't hear the lyric from you.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:07] You did not hear it. Lyrics.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:09] Yeah. Oh, come on, break it down. Come up with,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:13] I would have to go really, really old with, with lyrics, but I, yeah, right now I've got nothing. Go ahead, Jason. I'll I'll I'll cook something up.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:28:21] So I would say the lyric that I think sums up what we're going through right now. I mean, I think if you really, if you really think about 2020 and what we just came from, we just dealt with. No. I remember that big fire in Australia. And then after that, by Kobe Bryant died and then we had a pandemic, something that, you know, we've never gone through before. And then after like George Floyd, it was like the biggest movement ever across the world for racial justice, I guess it's been. And then we had like, people storm the Capitol. Like it's just, it's been a year of just, it's been a lot. And it's, it's been a lot, it's been really heavy, but we've still [00:29:00] survived. Like we came out on the other side,  and there are a lot of people that are winning despite all of the negativity that has happened in 2020, which has got me thinking about like, you got to recognize to not allow your circumstances around you affect your ability to do what you need to do, which you want to do in your life. And a line that stuck with me is actually on a new song that came out with Drake. It's a Nicki Minaj song with Drake and Little  Wayne. And Drake says, you know, "this ain't going to be the first time that I do numbers on crutches.  I seen more plaques than toothbrushes until I'm in the pearly white gates." So the line talks about, I mean, he actually sold a lot of albums while he was on surgery. So he was on two crutches, but I took from it is, is like, we just came off of two crutches. Like 2020 has been a crutch year. We, but we were on two crutches, barely making it and to still be able to do with the things that we've been able to accomplish in the same manner of time. Like he [00:30:00] said, he seemed more plaques than toothbrushes, which is first officer dope punchline. But like, and then, and he's like, then he said the pearly white gates cause pearly whites, toothbrushes placques... get it. Yeah. Anyway, um, but it's, but the idea that you're able to have your circumstances put you in a place where it should cripple you, it should break you down to the bottom. Yet, you still find a way to dominate and to succeed at whatever it is you want to do. And that success might not be starting a business, that's success might not be starting a podcast or launching something new. That success to a lot of people it's just waking up every single morning, trying to do something better, drinking water, trying like just, just trying to level up and better yourself every single day, no matter how small this is, 1% better than it was yesterday. Then that's a big win for a lot of people being able to be at home with your family during this pandemic. And, you know, and of course, you know, it was a lot of terrible things that happened and we can focus on those things, but there were a [00:31:00] lot of people that grew, that changed  that developed significantly because of what we went through in 2020.</p>
<p>So that Drake lyric, um, you know, I, you know, and that, that Drake lyric is what stuck out to me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:15] I so appreciate you.  That's a gift. I can't do that guys, when I'm down. I'm like, oh man, I'm this sucks. And I stay there and I'm not, I don't know what pulls me out of stuff sometimes, honestly. So thank God that there are people like you who can explain things and break it down, Jason like that, because that is a lifesaver, you know, I'm a pretty positive person, but at the same time, I'm just like some days I'm just like, I just don't know.</p>
<p>And Jason, someone like you, I am so grateful for. You really provide hope. I really [00:32:00] appreciate that. And you know, like, like Matt, you, when you go through hard times, you listen to music and, um, so what, what, it doesn't have to be from like the last year, but what are some words that help you out? Is it words or is it just the sound of music?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:21] There's the feeling. There's sound... One of my favorite bands is Iron Maiden and, you know, it's just, it's literally when they throw down something and you're like, oh my God, I've been through that.  There's a song called, oh God. Oh goodness. It's, uh, it's, it's, it's the most depressing song ever. And it talks about how nuclear war and, uh, these people are afraid and they hide out and, and it just goes through their entire thought process. And you're like, wow. You know, I think these things too, and I've, I've, I've been through, you know, I've thought this through and the song ends in a terrible place, but, um, Yeah, because they think the bombs [00:33:00] go off and the whole world has exploded and it hasn't and they end up yeah. Doing bad things to themselves.  It's, it's about that, understanding that other people go through stuff and other people can get to another place. You listen to a band like Volbeat and they've written, they wrote the, uh, the ring intro for a UFC fighter. And when you hear that and you feel the summoning up of power, what</p>
<p>are they saying though?</p>
<p>And this is where you catch me. Cause it's, it's the feeling of the song. It's not, it's not so much about what is said, which is interesting because these guys are all about the lyrics. Right. Which is what makes it so challenging.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:33:39] So a person, one of my favorite composers Hans Zimmer, and I watched the masterclass  of his before and one of the things, one of the quotes that stuck out to me that he said he was like, "I'm playing with silence the entire time."  He  was like, it's the empty space in here that make you feel something. So like, if you go back to, um, "Interstellar - Mountains", that's the name Interstellar is the  soundtrack "Go to the Mountains", [00:34:00] is the  song.  If you listened to the parts that aren't jarring,  and you're really paying attention to like taking it as like a case study, those are the parts that make you feel kind of unsure a little like that that's where you start to feel kind of, but then when he ramps it up, it kind of multiplies it to a degree.  So I, I really like what you said about, it's sometimes not about what you say that was about how you said it or what you're feeling at the moment. What is the intention? Um, I said, oh, but I have anything else to say.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:34:26] You say it, like you said, the depressing song, I would say the most depressing song that I've ever heard. Uh, it has to be a song. It's a song by G DEP. It's called every day in this, like he was, it was like three verses. I'm like, he's talking about how his life is every single day he said something like, you know, all he got is, you know, lint in  his pockets and he had a cigarette for breakfast and he, you know, that's just the beginning pry for my lunch and sleep for dinner.</p>
<p>Try to go to church priest called me a center. They called me everything except for a winner. I'm like, man, this guy, his life sucks. Like, it was just, it was terrible, but it was just [00:35:00] like, it shows a lot of people's days. And how like, people focus on like the macro of like somebody's life versus the like individual days.</p>
<p>Like I re I was actually homeless at one point in my life and or twice, two times. But it's not about the macro of like being homeless, it's more about like the, like the every hour you, you feel it like being ignored, being, you know, feeling like you don't have anybody to call. Like nobody cares like that stuff is that's the depressing stuff.</p>
<p>So it was just like hearing his every single day was like, man, this guy's life is terrible you know. So that's probably the most depressing song that I've heard.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:39] Those are the songs for me. I, you can't pin me to any particular style of music. Um, but for me, when I listened to something like that, it's like listening to a friend and realizing, oh my God, you also feel this way.</p>
<p>Wait a minute, they treat you this way too. I'm [00:36:00] not the only one. And so like, you know, I listened to all kinds of different things, but I remember when I was feeling the injustices of the world and especially in my career, Matt turned me onto Halford. Um, w what did he say? Judas Priest "Breaking the Law".</p>
<p>And the way he talks about breaking the law and you know, I'm just a chicken I'm. I am afraid of the police I always have been, my entire life, but like, to like sit in my car or in my safe little studio and feel Halford. And I feel like his voice is my voice and I'm breaking the law because yeah, I want to break the law and no matter what I do, it seems like I'm breaking the law anyway. What were his words? Cause I still don't remember, but I love every time I listened to that and I'm like,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:56] there, I was completely wasted out of working down all inside was so [00:37:00] frustrated as I drift from town to town.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:03] Yeah. It was unemployed.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:05] Oh, God I'll lose. I'll lose it here. I haven't heard that song in forever.</p>
<p>I love that song and I love Halford.</p>
<p>Th th the trick with metal is you, you put the words behind such strength. And now for me, when I listen to a sad song like that, a maiden song I was mentioning before that begins, you know, "have you seen, what is  coming on the news today? Have you seen what is coming to us all? That the world, as we know it, it will never be the same. Have you heard, have you heard." Wow. And it's songs. So softly and gently, and, and you know, that these people are about to, they think the world's going to explode. So they're going to grab all sorts of supplies and go underground into a bunker. And this was based on a story back in, um, uh, during, uh, the cold war. Um, and it, it turns out that an earthquake happens and they think it's the bomb and they think everybody's dead. And so they kill themselves well. Awesome. Well, that's very depressing and that's a terrible thing to listen to, but I [00:38:00] can't stop listening to it because have you seen what is happening in the world today?</p>
<p>Have you seen what is coming to us all? The world, as we know it, it will never be the same. Have you heard, have you heard? And the fact that the song ends on many levels is what gets me. Is the fact that I can compress it down and I can, I can let it all out. I can feel everything I want to feel, and then I can go on with whatever it is I have to do.</p>
<p>Oh my God.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:27] You're getting so emotional. Are you crying? No,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:33] you're crying. Your mom's crying. I'm not crying. You're crying.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:38:41] There's a song by Lupe Fiasco called little Weapon. And what it's about,  he's comparing school shooters in America, um, to child soldiers in Africa. And so the very first, the very first part of it, he's going down the Americans take on the story. It's a story, and he's going down. [00:39:00] Like these kids are bullying me. I'm sick of it. I'm going to take money from my allowance. I'm going to go buy a gun or he takes his dad's gun and he's going to go to school with a black trench coat on. And he does crazy things. And then the very first that's like the interlude to the song, interlude to the song. And in the very first lyrics of the song is " I killed another man that they shot him in his back as he ran away." Um, and then he talks about like being in that perspective of a child soldier in Africa. Um, But he's also talking about like how he's talking about it from the child's perspective. So he's saying like he's describing how they would brainwash these kids in Africa with candy, which were pills. Um, and he's talking about, but it's not a sad song. Like you can hear the anger. I used to run to this song. Um, it w it was one of the, it had like a very, just sharp snare to it. It sounded like it was part of a drum line. Um, so it was actually something that would like really amp you up. If you go to the gym, you play this song. Like it was one of those. So it wasn't like something that was meant to make you feel depressed, but it was just kind of a, it was meant to make you feel hyped [00:40:00] up and angry. It was almost like he was hypnotizing you to go be a child soldier.</p>
<p>Um, we have another person who does the same thing and, um, Kendrick Lamar, um, and black "blacker, the Berry, the sweeter, the juice", he's talking about the Crips and the Bloods warring in America, but then he compares them to like Zulu African warriors, battling over territory, back home. They're in the same land fighting over the same thing.</p>
<p>The only difference is in Africa, the land is actually theirs. Um, so I think, especially in rock and in hip hop, um, because rock was at one point, the rebel music, um, hip hop is, was at one point the rebel music. Um, they kind of had that in common with each other. Um, a lot of the times you're hearing what people like you're hearing what's going on in that moment. Those are the things that were bothering them during the cold war. Like those like that. They were closer to it. Uh, world war II, they were closer to it. Uh, Kendrick Lamar's rapping about gangs. They're outside right now. Uh, and that's what he grew up around. Um, [00:41:00] Lupe Fiasco had , just come back from Africa when he wrote that song, uh, not trying to have a depressant, a depress off here, but, uh, I just really resonated with you guys were saying.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:10] Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. And, and I think that's part of it. I think music very much opens up new vistas in the same way that sometimes watching a documentary film or reading a poem does, to really get an understanding of what a person is going through for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:26] It's a huge movement. It always has been, music has been used in war to get people to fight music is used to uplift people. And then the government comes in and tries to destroy certain artists, you know, from even Bob Marley, like just, you know, to, so in a way I know from your perspective, you're vilified, you were vilified, especially in the eighties, right? With, the government saying this is evil music. [00:42:00] Right. But we're always targeted as the enemy. And you're an enemy if you're getting people to move with you, you're an enemy if you get people to feel and to get stronger, be more powerful.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:42:18] There's a reason they're trying to put a that they're not trying to call it stem anymore.</p>
<p>Right. They're trying to call it steam. They're trying to add art into the oh</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:29] yes they are.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:42:31] And so, like, there was a reason for that, like, you're, like you were saying in the very beginning of this, where like math is an art form, um, art itself is like, where you, we're never going to be. We've been creating since the beginning of math, they have cave drawings to prove it.</p>
<p>Right. Um, that's never going to stop. Uh, it's a part of who we are in the way that we express ourselves. So, uh, again, it's, it's all just tying it back to, we all want the same thing at the end of the day, we all behave the same way at the end of the day. [00:43:00] Uh, I had a point and I lost it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:04] Well, here you go. Here's a fun one. So, so literally a band I've become very interested in lately. And unfortunately they broke up as a band called Hellsongs and whatever great name, and they take really serious heavy metal pieces and they turn them in the lounge music and it doesn't change the meaning, but you hear the words so differently.</p>
<p>I love that it's called Hellsongs and they covered..."War Pigs" is the one to hear. And that's a classic Sabbath tune, which is just with Ozzy. It's completely messed up. And the way she sings it from such a point of longing as she's singing "generals gathered in their masses, just like, witches at black masses, evil thoughts, that minds destruction, sorcerers of death's construction." (Matt whistles in overwhelm) and the way she sings it with a hint of longing and love and you're like, but this is the most evil thing ever.</p>
<p>[00:44:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:00] I don't even understand what you just said. What are the words mean? What did they,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:03] this means that there's a, there's a, there's a, uh, cruxt in society that wants to continue war that profits from war that loves war and they don't want it ever to stop ever. So they gather and they, they continue and on and on, and this sounds like the, the longingness makes it sound like either, either she wants more of that or that this has passed and they want it back or something. And it's just, it completely tweaks the meaning. And that's one of the things I'd really love to see. It's almost, uh, uh, I don't know. What's a good word for it. Uh, a dream or a thought of mine of like, you know, wouldn't it be a thing if we could just so like shuffle together, sound, lyric, music, and create just new kind of pairings. Like, um, forever ago I heard the black, not the black [00:45:00] album, sorry, The Grey Album by Danger Mouse, where he took JZ and he mixed the Beatles and he smushed it together and made something new.</p>
<p>Wow. That was a brilliant thing. And, and, you know, I'd love to see, you know, more of that because I kind of have a, I have my own walls up as far as like, I want my lyrics clean. I want my inspiration to be, I want very classical uplifting. I love crescendos and all sorts of other things. Right. And if I'm music doesn't have that, I have a hard - and, you know, music doesn't have that, I have a hard time listening to it, which keeps me away from even pop. But also, you know, certainly from listening to rap.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:40] You, you hate it. When I listen to jazz. You can't stand it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:43] Well, jazz drives me crazy. Cause there's too many damn notes, but yet I listened to super fast metal, which has too many damn notes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:49] Exactly. So what's what's going on there?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:52] It's just, it's dancing around maybe too much. I don't know. But it never, it never feels like it calms down.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:59] That's how I [00:46:00] feel about your music</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:46:01] That's hilarious, What about smooth jazz, smooth jazz is nice to listen to. It's like,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:08] yeah. Well, and you see, there's the problem because you know, I'm now siloed.</p>
<p>I'm siloed off in my world.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:46:14] I'm gonna hit</p>
<p>you with a song right now. I want you to, after this, I want you, I want you to go listen to it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:19] Okay. Okay. Don't play it on the, don't play it on the podcast</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:46:22] and, and I'm just going to tell it to you right now. So you've got a notepad right there. I do. Uh, the guy's name is Jordan Ricky.</p>
<p>Um, I believe he, I don't, I don't know where he's from. I'm not even gonna pretend I know where he's from. Um, and the song you want to look up is it's not really jazz. It's really like smooth R and B, but you know, we're, we're on that borderline. I'm looking up the song right now "R" usually stuff pops up when I want it to be here.</p>
<p>Okay. So it's called "A Mad World",</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:52] mad Wolf?</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:46:52] You look that up. And so he's what he's doing is he's taking his voice and he's making it the, he uses his [00:47:00] voice a lot to replace an instrument. It's kind of like, Kanye West does. Um, but he's using this voice. You'll, you'll see it. Like, there's a pattern that he's using on his voice the entire way through that you just kinda forget is even there throughout the entire thing.</p>
<p>It's really cool.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:12] Trevor, can you repeat the name</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:13] again? Jordan already mad Wolf,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:15] mad Wolf or a mad world and</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:47:18] world. Oh, world.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:20] Well,</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:47:21] you've given me an idea. Just what you just said about that, that the Hells.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:26] Hellsong.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:47:27] Hellsong Hellsong. Yeah. Uh, I think we should do thatwith Lyrics and Lattes, Trevor. I think we should like get like trap music and turn it into elevator music, like real,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:37] like listen to the original War Pigs and then listen to their version or listening to"Heaven Can Wait".</p>
<p>They cover that as well. And they completely change just your feeling through the song without changing the lyrics. It's a bizarre thing.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:53] Do you guys, is Muzac still around? Do you remember Muzac, elevator music, elevator [00:48:00] music. Are they still around? I worked for music as a temp once in Seattle.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:04] You know, I don't know if I've heard music in elevators, any elevator I've been in recently.</p>
<p>I think they're pretty darn quiet. I wonder if</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:48:11] you're usually, I dunno,</p>
<p>in the elevator, I'm usually away headphones on trying to avoid eye contact with people</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:17] and there you go.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:18] Oh my God. I love the elevator. Oh, I would. I like to get into an elevator and just stare at people and to be so close to them.</p>
<p>I'll start talking. I</p>
<p>love it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:29] If I've got the gumption, I will walk into an elevator and not turn around. I will just walk in and just stay staring at the back of the elevator. That's really (laughter by everyone),</p>
<p>Matt. Matt is six, four, Matt is...</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:48:42] There's a reason you all are married!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:43] What do you mean? We're total opposites on a very good day. I may reach maybe five feet, tall, but it's so funny. Cause we, we met in a martial arts [00:49:00] school and out of all people, I'm the one that will probably start the fight to break a kneecap or something. But Matt looks very scary in public.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:49:11] No, Is that why Matt is sitting down cause his kneecaps is broke.</p>
<p>Oh no,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:15] well, no, no, no, no. Here's, here's the, here's the drill. Okay. If somebody gets agitated, this is what we said back in the day, I'll puff my chest up and I'll get up in their face and say, what are you doing? Whereas my wife will get to the side and take his kneecap out. If you kick to the knee cap, five pounds of pressure, the leg goes, we</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:49:33] got Hulk and Batman over there.</p>
<p>Yeah. Wait,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:37] I'm the hook. I'm</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:49:38] the Hulk.</p>
<p>Gotcha. You want to, you want to be Batman because he's the one that like applied pressure point shut the whole left side down. Oh,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:48] right. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:49:50] I would like to bring up conflict management training and then like, sometimes you can just find ways to resolve issues without violence.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:57] That's how, that's why w we, we met at [00:50:00] Aikido. Aikido is , a martial art that, especially at our school, it was very like the whole motto was protect your attacker.</p>
<p>And I walked in and Matt was the teacher's pet. And I walked in, I was doing a cross training, martial arts, um, mixed martial arts. And I walked in, I was ready to just destroy everything in that room and everybody I was ready and they were like, no, no, we are here to protect our attacker. I'm like, what the hell are you talking about?</p>
<p>Um, and they're like, oh no, no, no, no, we don't hit here. We don't punch here. Like, are you serious? What, but it's the way of peace. And, but don't get it. Don't get it wrong as</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:43] if you</p>
<p>the way of peace does not mean walk over me, walk all over me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:46] Yeah. Yeah. Like if you attack someone who's really skilled with Aikido, it feels like if you attack them,  if you attack a black belt, it feels like you're a little kid and your [00:51:00] uncle has taken you by the arms very lovingly is twirling you around. You're like, you know, and then next thing you know, you're on the ground and you're completely in all these different locks at the same time. Okay. And it just feels fun because the whole point of Aikido is not to destroy anyone's ego or their physical body.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:51:22] I thought Aikido was like food.</p>
<p>Like if you prepare food a certain way and they're like, uh, oh,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:28] I can't, I can't think of the words you're reaching for, but oh dear.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:51:32] Trevor, what am I talking about here?</p>
<p>Oh, keto,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:37] K E T O yes. That is a style of food.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:51:40] That's martial arts</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:41] A I K I D O is the way of harmony with the universe "DO" meaning the way.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:51:47] Okay. I got, I got lost there when you're on Pinterest and you type in food and it's like,</p>
<p>I get it really</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:51:56] quick when you're talking</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:51:57] about what you're stepping in.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:51:58] Hey, [00:52:00] everybody's going to be saying that led into this really quick. We were talking about governments, overlooking everything and like wars and stuff like that.</p>
<p>There's a lyric out there. We were talking about the price and stuff. I want to bring it up. But I want to circle back because there's a lyric. It's one of my favorite lyrics, I think it's in the bio, on the Lyrics and Lattes website. It's by 2 Chainz. It's "Imma be fresh as hell if the Feds, watching." If they watching anyway, like I might as well be fresh. Like, so like in, he's talking about the government, he's also talking about just people that envy him in general. Um, it's just like, if they're going to be watching, give him a show anyway, and just like it just, just keep brushing your shoulders off. Um, I just want to reel it in to circle back to that, because I really wanted to say that I haven't had a chance to say that on the show yet.</p>
<p>So I got to say it on the, on the show. I've been waiting on my opportunity days and, and</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:52:45] the Feds are watching, like I saw somebody who was like, I don't want to get the vaccine because you know, they're going to use it to track me. And I was like, do you have a cell phone? And he's like, yeah, it's right here.</p>
<p>And it's like, well, They're probably gonna use your cell phone cause they already have access to it.</p>
<p>[00:53:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:00] Do you ever buy anything? Do you ever pay with a</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:03] credit card? Purely credit</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:53:04] card. Oh, okay. Yeah. Are you on</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:53:06] Instagram?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:06] Like hello? Yes. Right as</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:53:10] well. You might as well wear a suit and tie. Get dressed</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:53:13] crazy. So I used to, I used to do background checks, right?</p>
<p>When I was at the white house, I just do background checks, like all the time. And people like that are so secretive about like, not wanting to share information like  the majority of the time that I was doing checks, I wouldn't even go into the system to do it. I would just go to their Facebook page and they would just, they would tell you pretty much everything that they're interested in or that they like, or that they, that their, their birthday where they were last week everything's there.</p>
<p>So it was like, I would do the other check just in case, but, but it was like most of the stuff I would find, I find people's mugshots, like on Facebook, really like</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:45] nice, nice and subtle, well done guys, mat. Whereas for me, you're going to love me. Then I would never pass a white house background check. I don't have Facebook.</p>
<p>I don't post anything. I don't, um, you know, I don't have a [00:54:00] browser history. I, you know, to that level, I, I make sure Google knows as little about me as possible. I check my Gmail and then I close. And then I go to a private browser and I, I do my, whatever browsing I'm going to do. Um,</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:54:15] very much key and my brother has split.</p>
<p>Now, if I drop dead right now, delete my search history.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:54:20] And there you have it. Yes, I get it. Wait, I smell what you're stepping in. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:30] Whew. Ah, love you guys. So music is the heartbeat of humanity. It is, you know, sometimes it's upbeat and sometimes it's crazy as hell over here.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:54:46] And sometimes, you can pull at a, an entire song and you can pull out snippets, which, directly apply and you can feel and, and inspire</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:58] and thank goodness for all of it.</p>
<p>[00:55:00] I need. The hardship. I need all that because we all go through all of everything. It's, there's not just one flavor. And going back to Ayurvedic medicine, when you have a meal, he should have all the tastes; the better, the sweet, the pungent, the sour. Am I forgetting the other one, but to be healthy, you need to have all the tastes.</p>
<p>And for me to listen to something's so opposite from how I normally vibe from my heart. My heart needs a Halford sometimes, right. Even though that's not my norm. Halford saved my life. I thought I was the only unemployed person and all of these injustices that I was living through, but hearing his voice and his rage, I was like, oh, thank you for taking that away from me.</p>
<p>It's like talking to a friend on the phone now, but like talking to a friend and realizing, oh, this happens to [00:56:00] you too. They look at you like that too. You know, we're not alone at all. We're completely the same family. We're in it together. That's the world is, is one family really? I mean, we definitely don't get along all the time or ever some of us, but</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:23] we are here together</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:25] making music together.</p>
<p>Can we wrap this up? I don't even know. I don't want to go. I know we're at the hour mark and you guys. We're all busy. I know you have to go back to work, Matt. Um, they don't even know you have a w uh, podcast, do they? Nope. So secretly no,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:46] no, they probably won't actually,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:48] we've been doing this for awhile now.</p>
<p>Nobody knows.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:50] I have to. I have to tell. I tell people when they leave the company that I have a podcast.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:56:55] How long have you been doing it? A year or a year? And what, what [00:57:00] is it? You said you guys are in California. What part</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:01] of Colorado? Actually, we're in Colorado. We don't know where we belong in the world.</p>
<p>We're trying to, we're like, we've been like nomads going here and there. And like, it still doesn't we don't know where we belong right now we're in Boulder county, Colorado. We, yeah, we live in a tiny little town. You can walk through and not realize you went through a town, we don't know. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:57:23] I would like to say that.</p>
<p>I think like. Do you practice your podcast voice? It's like super smooth. It's like super smooth and like barely regulated.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:35] Didn't I say I like clean vocals. Didn't I say that</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:57:38] it's like, no matter what, no matter where your energy is, your voice is like very it's very good. I want to do that. I can't.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:46] Oh my God.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[00:57:47] Hit me with your fond voice right now. Are you</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:57:49] ready? Are you ready? Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Today's word of the day.</p>
<p>It's like my Alexa. It's very</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:58] good. You have it. You're a little too [00:58:00] wispy. She's got more power,</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:58:01] more power there. I love it. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:04] Thank you. You. Oh my God. I think it's the mic. When we were on podcast, a pod Fest, the person who works for Shure. mic and we have a Shure, right? This is Shure. She said this particular mic is best for women's voices.</p>
<p>That's what she said. The rep from Shure. So I really think it's the mic and I don't know what it is about the podcast, but every time we're done talking, regardless of what we talk about, I feel like I came away off of a, um, singing opera situation. Like I feel. I love podcasting. I love talking is a</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:58:42] real microphone.</p>
<p>So I do feel like absolutely, but we need to wrap up our show. I don't want to go. I know me neither. I'm having a really good time,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:50] but guys, I will never let you go. Like we always talk about I'm so Persian and Matt is so yeah, interracial couple. [00:59:00] But the thing about my culture is when we have parties, we have parties and we stay there forever.</p>
<p>They never end. They literally like if you go to a wedding, it'll end like seven in the morning. And the thing is when you go to someone's house and you say goodbye, the whole party goes with you to the front door, you know, the hallway, the entrance of the house. Like you're about to leave, but you all ended up staying there for an hour, an hour and a half still saying goodbye, because we don't like to say goodbye.</p>
<p>I really don't want to. I want to be with you guys forever. Jason and Trevor, you are the loveliest. Um, I just, I kissed you on your foreheads guys. I love you so much. I don't want to let you go. I don't want to end this show on the elevator for the</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[00:59:46] first time. That'd be weird. Right? I couldn't</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:48] reach, I wouldn't need us.</p>
<p>Yeah, I would. I would hug you. I couldn't reach anybody's forehead.</p>
<p>[01:00:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:00] That's true.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:01] That's why I go for the knees</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:05] I on. Yeah, no, we're, we're at a point now with our, with our oldest. Now, our oldest is taller than my wife and she can't reach the forehead anymore.</p>
<p>No, she's way taller way taller. And you know what?</p>
<p>She came out almost as tall as I am. I know there, Matt is super tall and anyway, I digress. Hello. Pretty bow. Pretty bow. You do that pretty well pretty bow today. We're pretty well</p>
<p>based basically. You know what I, I think, I think we need to keep talking. I think we need to, I think in this world of uncertainty in this world of siloing in this world of kind of this, this, I think the world is trying to pull people apart and segment, you know, segment people so they can, so they can divide us.</p>
<p>I think we need to keep talking,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:53] and you know, what else we need to do is we need to listen to Trevor and to Jason for them to explain things, please, [01:01:00] because I am not smart like that. I'm like why the plaque, I didn't even get like that. I need you guys. I need you to explain what the heck is happening and what the heck is being said.</p>
<p>I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:14] liked the way they explained stuff too. I knew that's what I'm trying to say. Um, what was so brilliant is, um, yeah. Uh, when an episode I listened to you guys were talking about, Hey, when you first do anything, you're going to be stupid. And I try to explain that to people like ignorance, the ignorance, you can walk into a situation with.</p>
<p>You know that that's, that's, that's, that's the most awesome thing. When you start a job, you don't know anything. And nobody expects you to know anything as far as the business processes at a given job. Right? And so you get to ask all these really stupid questions and nobody looks at you like what an idiot.</p>
<p>And if they do, that's fine because you're going to keep climbing and you're going to figure stuff out. And, you know, in three months you're going to know everything, but only if you ask those really basic questions to start, [01:02:00] and I thought that was really brilliant the way you think</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[01:02:03] we use DMX for that too.</p>
<p>So thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:06] Oh my God. Can I just say our little girls and I, Matt goes to bed super early and thank you, DMX. Thank you so much. Once I, once we realized we were standing in the kitchen, we found out that DMX used to love listening, watching the Golden Girls. When Matt goes to really Jason, really. Well,</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[01:02:27] one of my favorite shows,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:28] it was because of DMX.</p>
<p>We started watching it. I'm sorry, Trevor. What'd you say?</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[01:02:33] I said Golden Girlsgoes hard. I just like who doesn't love that? They're the most gangster show out there. I'm just sayin'</p>
<p><strong>Jason: </strong>[01:02:40] Sophia. Oh my goodness. Forget what 50 Cent, the shade 50 Cent got! Sophie is the one you don't want to mess with it. Nope.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:52] Thank you, DMX.</p>
<p>Thank you. Oh guys. Thank you for coming to our show. Thanks.</p>
<p>[01:03:00] <strong>Jason: </strong>[01:03:00] Can I share one thing, please? We have a petition that we just put up. Uh, so, uh, if y'all folks, anybody who's listening, please go sign our petition and go to our Instagram page and you click the link tree there, lyrics and lattes just all the way through.</p>
<p>Um,</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[01:03:18] essentially we want NAS and JZ to create a collab album. They've never done it and we think they should because they owe it to the streets. Why? Because. We put em there. So,</p>
<p>uh, we, we need, we need this album. It's been like 25 years overdue.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:36] Yeah. Everything will be in the show notes. Everything will be all over our website.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:41] Yes, indeed. We're on it.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[01:03:43] Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:44] Amazing.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[01:03:47] This is</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:48] great. Thank you so much. Oh my goodness. Thank you</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:51] for sure. All right, until we speak again, I'm not even going to say goodbye.</p>
<p>I will never, you all have to come whenever we find our true home, [01:04:00] you all need to come over. When all this mess is done and I will, I will cook and have 18,000 different, um, dishes, dishes. Thank you. And please don't get scared. Matt says I'm like a big dog that scares people away. When I really like someone and when they come over, I'm just like, oh, I will make a thousand dishes and get so excited.</p>
<p>And anyway, you're welcome to our home. Right. We're there.</p>
<p><strong>Trevor: </strong>[01:04:30] Thank you food. I'm there. That's all you had to say.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:35] All right, we'll see you soon. We'll see you soon. Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. All right. Take care. Bye.</p>
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                    <![CDATA[We welcome Jason Wallace and Trevor DeSaussure from the podcast, Lyrics and Lattes. And these guys are so lovely, inspiring, upbeat, positive, and so deep. They gift their listeners with wisdom, so many life lessons; provide perfect self-development though breaking down lyrics of hip hop.
https://www.lyricsandlattes.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lyricsandlattes/
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello? Hello. Hello everyone. Welcome to our friendly world. Very special guests today. I am really excited.  Listen to this.
" The art of a people is a true mirror to the minds."- Jawaharlal Nehru.  Here's another one by Georgia. O'Keeffe: "I found, I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way -things I had no words for." And then Leonardo da Vinci: " Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt. And poetry is painting. That is felt rather than seen. "
 Today we have two amazing, amazing men here. And their podcast is just, I think the best podcast I've ever heard.
Matt: [00:00:55] It's a great name. Isn't it?
 The podcast is called Lyrics and [00:01:00] Lattes. And these guys are so lovely and so inspiring and so upbeat and so positive and so deep. They have so much wisdom, so many life lessons to help us with, so much self-development, tips from your favorite hip hop songs, they break lyrics down. And it's like, for me, it's like going back to school when I had the most amazing teachers break down Hemingway and, you know, things that kind of like I would read, but they would go over my head and then the, the, the professor would break it down and say, what do you think this person meant by this sentence or this one word?
Or, you know, and, and we would spend hours talking about one sentence and it transformed my entire life. This is what Jason and Trevor do, [00:02:00] Jason Wallace and Trevor DeSaussure Trevor, am I pronouncing your last name? Right? The
Trevor: [00:02:06] first person to ever get that right on the first try.
Fawn: [00:02:11] So everyone friends out there, please help us welcome Jason and Trevor from the podcast Lyrics and Lattes. Ah, it is, I, I am so glad I met you guys. We met at Podfest. They did a presentation and, uh, I, I was flying. I was so I'm still so excited. And this was what? A week ago? Two weeks ago. When was it? I don't even remember, but I am forever transformed and so uplifted.  I'm just so excited by these people. Right. Let's get to all right. All right. So today's subject is going to sound like it's not upbeat at all, but Trevor and Jason have a really great [00:03:00] pulse. Like they have, what do you call what's the term when they have a pulse on society? Is that the term?
Yeah. Yeah, they have that. So they break down these amazing songs and, and really help you in life. They're amazing coaches. So, first of all, I guess I should say welcome Trevor and Jason, Hello!
Trevor: [00:03:23] That was one heck of an intro. Thanks for having me.
Jason: [00:03:26] We got to really deliver now. Don't we?
Fawn: [00:03:31] I love you guys. And you were so funny. Did I mention they're funny, please check them out. They are hysterically funny, right? No, absolutely. Um, so today's topic guys is society's greatest pain, greatest challenge.  We talk about art all the time. I talk about art, you know, art. My background is that you're also an artist, Matt.
I never, I never considered computer programming and math and all of [00:04:00] that to be an art form, but it really is. It's in, and it's incredibly intuitive. So it's for everyone. And since we're look...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:07:00</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Family We Create - Families of All Kinds - Interview w/ Jenn Cleary and Dorje Dolma]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Fri, 04 Jun 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-family-we-create-families-of-all-kinds-interview-w-jenn-cleary-and-dorje-dolma</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-family-we-create-families-of-all-kinds-interview-w-jenn-cleary-and-dorje-dolma</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>The Family We Create – Families of All Kinds:  this episode is the perfect example of family, the family that we create and showing that it really entails families of all kinds. And interestingly enough, it's also the song title (“Families of All Kinds”) of one of the songs on Jen Cleary's new album “All Together Now!” written and produced for children and families and celebrating environmental and social consciousness (which, by the way, our baby girl did the album cover art of!).</p>
<p> Jen Cleary is a folk, rock, and blues singer-songwriter, and one of her  amazing family members, her daughter, Dorje Dolma, the author of "Yak Girl: Growing Up in the Remote Dolpo Region of Nepal" is here!</p>
<p>We discuss the double layered meanings of Jenn’s music, the stories that led to the songs, the meaning of family, and get immersed in the fantastic story of how Jenn and Dorje met on this tiny yet immense and perfectly synchronized blue dot and created a blossoming family that is now many arms outstretched around the world.</p>
<p>Their beautiful family story brings love and hope! </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Hall of fame quote from the show: </strong></p>
<p>“ You just have to trust in yourself and trust in the others... when those right people come in your life. And even if it's a little bit uncertain, you kind of have to keep moving forward. So even if I get scared, I just believe that it's going to be okay.” – Dorje Dolma</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[The Family We Create – Families of All Kinds:  this episode is the perfect example of family, the family that we create and showing that it really entails families of all kinds. And interestingly enough, it's also the song title (“Families of All Kinds”) of one of the songs on Jen Cleary's new album “All Together Now!” written and produced for children and families and celebrating environmental and social consciousness (which, by the way, our baby girl did the album cover art of!).
 Jen Cleary is a folk, rock, and blues singer-songwriter, and one of her  amazing family members, her daughter, Dorje Dolma, the author of "Yak Girl: Growing Up in the Remote Dolpo Region of Nepal" is here!
We discuss the double layered meanings of Jenn’s music, the stories that led to the songs, the meaning of family, and get immersed in the fantastic story of how Jenn and Dorje met on this tiny yet immense and perfectly synchronized blue dot and created a blossoming family that is now many arms outstretched around the world.
Their beautiful family story brings love and hope! 
 
Hall of fame quote from the show: 
“ You just have to trust in yourself and trust in the others... when those right people come in your life. And even if it's a little bit uncertain, you kind of have to keep moving forward. So even if I get scared, I just believe that it's going to be okay.” – Dorje Dolma
 
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Family We Create - Families of All Kinds - Interview w/ Jenn Cleary and Dorje Dolma]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>The Family We Create – Families of All Kinds:  this episode is the perfect example of family, the family that we create and showing that it really entails families of all kinds. And interestingly enough, it's also the song title (“Families of All Kinds”) of one of the songs on Jen Cleary's new album “All Together Now!” written and produced for children and families and celebrating environmental and social consciousness (which, by the way, our baby girl did the album cover art of!).</p>
<p> Jen Cleary is a folk, rock, and blues singer-songwriter, and one of her  amazing family members, her daughter, Dorje Dolma, the author of "Yak Girl: Growing Up in the Remote Dolpo Region of Nepal" is here!</p>
<p>We discuss the double layered meanings of Jenn’s music, the stories that led to the songs, the meaning of family, and get immersed in the fantastic story of how Jenn and Dorje met on this tiny yet immense and perfectly synchronized blue dot and created a blossoming family that is now many arms outstretched around the world.</p>
<p>Their beautiful family story brings love and hope! </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Hall of fame quote from the show: </strong></p>
<p>“ You just have to trust in yourself and trust in the others... when those right people come in your life. And even if it's a little bit uncertain, you kind of have to keep moving forward. So even if I get scared, I just believe that it's going to be okay.” – Dorje Dolma</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[The Family We Create – Families of All Kinds:  this episode is the perfect example of family, the family that we create and showing that it really entails families of all kinds. And interestingly enough, it's also the song title (“Families of All Kinds”) of one of the songs on Jen Cleary's new album “All Together Now!” written and produced for children and families and celebrating environmental and social consciousness (which, by the way, our baby girl did the album cover art of!).
 Jen Cleary is a folk, rock, and blues singer-songwriter, and one of her  amazing family members, her daughter, Dorje Dolma, the author of "Yak Girl: Growing Up in the Remote Dolpo Region of Nepal" is here!
We discuss the double layered meanings of Jenn’s music, the stories that led to the songs, the meaning of family, and get immersed in the fantastic story of how Jenn and Dorje met on this tiny yet immense and perfectly synchronized blue dot and created a blossoming family that is now many arms outstretched around the world.
Their beautiful family story brings love and hope! 
 
Hall of fame quote from the show: 
“ You just have to trust in yourself and trust in the others... when those right people come in your life. And even if it's a little bit uncertain, you kind of have to keep moving forward. So even if I get scared, I just believe that it's going to be okay.” – Dorje Dolma
 
 ]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:01:49</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED – Roundtable # 6 – “Currency and Our Value of Life”]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Wed, 02 Jun 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/connected-roundtable-6-currency-and-our-value-of-life</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-roundtable-6-currency-and-our-value-of-life</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We have been taught to think that when something is scarce, then the value goes up, but should it? Because I'm looking at human beings and I'm thinking about the 99% not being valued. And the 1% that are valued, the 1% that have the majority of the currency, the majority of the money in our society, how come they are in that state and how come the 99% are so undervalued?!</p>
<p>But if you really think about it, we are more valuable than the 1%. And I think that we're not treated as valuable because we are so disconnected from one another. That's my personal theory that if we were truly to connect with one another energetically and physically, that if we shared our  ideas and we helped each other out,  the 1% would have no power.</p>
<p>Does that make any sense to anybody?  And then I'm thinking about money and the value of a person. And what is money? Is it a tool?  Of course it is. But is it a tool for manipulation? Has some piece of paper, coin, or ethereal coin crossed the line over to manipulation and how we make money?  How does that all work? Is it done with integrity or greed or desperation? How does self-esteem play a factor?</p>
<p>I would like to use the Socratic method by asking questions for us to get somewhere in our conversations where we can figure things out. I really believe we can figure out a way. Socrates often asked questions that went against the traditions and reflections of Athens. And so we may ask, I may ask certain questions, but I mean, no disrespect. I'm trying to understand things and I'm trying to understand a way for us all to come together again.</p>
<p>This roundtable takes us through politics, the economy, self-worth, ethics and a bit of history as we ask questions and define some important terms in order to create change.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our round table. Connected.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:04] Hello?</p>
<p>Hi everybody. Today we have Paul. We have Katie.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:00:11] Hi,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:11] we have Beth.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:00:13] Hi, everybody.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:14] And we have KJ. Okay. KJ is on the road you guys, she is driving. Uh, well, she's in the passenger seat, but she's in a car. All right. Today's show is currency. What is it?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:29] What is it?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:30] All right. I'll give you some definitions. Currency is a medium of exchange. By the way our round- table is about connected. We're all connected. We are interconnected and our conversations revolve around how we are truly interconnected. And one of the ways in which we are connected is through currency.</p>
<p>So I want to talk about that and it's not just money either. And you'll see we'll get into it. So currency is a medium of [00:01:00] exchange for goods and services in the form of some material. It can be paper, money, coins, et cetera, issued by a government and generally accepted at its face value as a method of payment.</p>
<p>So there, it has like five definitions for currency. If you look it up, it's something that is used as a medium of exchange, like money. It is, something that is generally accepted, a general acceptance, prevalence and Vogue, whatever is in vogue. The third definition is a time or period during something that is widely accepted, and circulated.</p>
<p>So a time period, right; like current events. The fourth definition is the fact or quality of being widely accepted and circulated from person to person. Circulation, as of coin is the fifth one. [00:02:00] And then when I looked at "current", it is passing in time belonging to the time actually passing like current events.</p>
<p>It is something that is prevalent or customary. It is something that is popular. It is something that is new and present like something recent. T...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We have been taught to think that when something is scarce, then the value goes up, but should it? Because I'm looking at human beings and I'm thinking about the 99% not being valued. And the 1% that are valued, the 1% that have the majority of the currency, the majority of the money in our society, how come they are in that state and how come the 99% are so undervalued?!
But if you really think about it, we are more valuable than the 1%. And I think that we're not treated as valuable because we are so disconnected from one another. That's my personal theory that if we were truly to connect with one another energetically and physically, that if we shared our  ideas and we helped each other out,  the 1% would have no power.
Does that make any sense to anybody?  And then I'm thinking about money and the value of a person. And what is money? Is it a tool?  Of course it is. But is it a tool for manipulation? Has some piece of paper, coin, or ethereal coin crossed the line over to manipulation and how we make money?  How does that all work? Is it done with integrity or greed or desperation? How does self-esteem play a factor?
I would like to use the Socratic method by asking questions for us to get somewhere in our conversations where we can figure things out. I really believe we can figure out a way. Socrates often asked questions that went against the traditions and reflections of Athens. And so we may ask, I may ask certain questions, but I mean, no disrespect. I'm trying to understand things and I'm trying to understand a way for us all to come together again.
This roundtable takes us through politics, the economy, self-worth, ethics and a bit of history as we ask questions and define some important terms in order to create change.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our round table. Connected.
Matt: [00:00:04] Hello?
Hi everybody. Today we have Paul. We have Katie.
Katy: [00:00:11] Hi,
Fawn: [00:00:11] we have Beth.
Beth: [00:00:13] Hi, everybody.
Fawn: [00:00:14] And we have KJ. Okay. KJ is on the road you guys, she is driving. Uh, well, she's in the passenger seat, but she's in a car. All right. Today's show is currency. What is it?
Matt: [00:00:29] What is it?
Fawn: [00:00:30] All right. I'll give you some definitions. Currency is a medium of exchange. By the way our round- table is about connected. We're all connected. We are interconnected and our conversations revolve around how we are truly interconnected. And one of the ways in which we are connected is through currency.
So I want to talk about that and it's not just money either. And you'll see we'll get into it. So currency is a medium of [00:01:00] exchange for goods and services in the form of some material. It can be paper, money, coins, et cetera, issued by a government and generally accepted at its face value as a method of payment.
So there, it has like five definitions for currency. If you look it up, it's something that is used as a medium of exchange, like money. It is, something that is generally accepted, a general acceptance, prevalence and Vogue, whatever is in vogue. The third definition is a time or period during something that is widely accepted, and circulated.
So a time period, right; like current events. The fourth definition is the fact or quality of being widely accepted and circulated from person to person. Circulation, as of coin is the fifth one. [00:02:00] And then when I looked at "current", it is passing in time belonging to the time actually passing like current events.
It is something that is prevalent or customary. It is something that is popular. It is something that is new and present like something recent. T...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED – Roundtable # 6 – “Currency and Our Value of Life”]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>6</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We have been taught to think that when something is scarce, then the value goes up, but should it? Because I'm looking at human beings and I'm thinking about the 99% not being valued. And the 1% that are valued, the 1% that have the majority of the currency, the majority of the money in our society, how come they are in that state and how come the 99% are so undervalued?!</p>
<p>But if you really think about it, we are more valuable than the 1%. And I think that we're not treated as valuable because we are so disconnected from one another. That's my personal theory that if we were truly to connect with one another energetically and physically, that if we shared our  ideas and we helped each other out,  the 1% would have no power.</p>
<p>Does that make any sense to anybody?  And then I'm thinking about money and the value of a person. And what is money? Is it a tool?  Of course it is. But is it a tool for manipulation? Has some piece of paper, coin, or ethereal coin crossed the line over to manipulation and how we make money?  How does that all work? Is it done with integrity or greed or desperation? How does self-esteem play a factor?</p>
<p>I would like to use the Socratic method by asking questions for us to get somewhere in our conversations where we can figure things out. I really believe we can figure out a way. Socrates often asked questions that went against the traditions and reflections of Athens. And so we may ask, I may ask certain questions, but I mean, no disrespect. I'm trying to understand things and I'm trying to understand a way for us all to come together again.</p>
<p>This roundtable takes us through politics, the economy, self-worth, ethics and a bit of history as we ask questions and define some important terms in order to create change.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our round table. Connected.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:04] Hello?</p>
<p>Hi everybody. Today we have Paul. We have Katie.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:00:11] Hi,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:11] we have Beth.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:00:13] Hi, everybody.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:14] And we have KJ. Okay. KJ is on the road you guys, she is driving. Uh, well, she's in the passenger seat, but she's in a car. All right. Today's show is currency. What is it?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:29] What is it?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:30] All right. I'll give you some definitions. Currency is a medium of exchange. By the way our round- table is about connected. We're all connected. We are interconnected and our conversations revolve around how we are truly interconnected. And one of the ways in which we are connected is through currency.</p>
<p>So I want to talk about that and it's not just money either. And you'll see we'll get into it. So currency is a medium of [00:01:00] exchange for goods and services in the form of some material. It can be paper, money, coins, et cetera, issued by a government and generally accepted at its face value as a method of payment.</p>
<p>So there, it has like five definitions for currency. If you look it up, it's something that is used as a medium of exchange, like money. It is, something that is generally accepted, a general acceptance, prevalence and Vogue, whatever is in vogue. The third definition is a time or period during something that is widely accepted, and circulated.</p>
<p>So a time period, right; like current events. The fourth definition is the fact or quality of being widely accepted and circulated from person to person. Circulation, as of coin is the fifth one. [00:02:00] And then when I looked at "current", it is passing in time belonging to the time actually passing like current events.</p>
<p>It is something that is prevalent or customary. It is something that is popular. It is something that is new and present like something recent. The noun version of current is something that is flowing like a flowing flow as in a river,  something that flows as a stream.  Matt and I in our major, why are you looking again like that?</p>
<p>Did I say something wrong? Okay. It's disconcerting. When I look over and you're rolling your eyes, like back and forth, like what? Okay. I just don't know what is happening. So we always talk about the different forms of currency. Of course, there is cash paper coin. There's now virtual currency that we've been talking about.</p>
<p>There's energetic currency, and we always talk about emotional [00:03:00] currency. And now that we get into currency, it leads us to value. And what is value again, the definition would be,  degree to which something is useful or estimable. It's from an old French word value, which means worth price, moral worth, standing reputation. There's also the past participle of "valoir" of be worth from Latin valere- be strong, be well, be of value. And then I thought of the word or the phrase value judgment  also,  value defined by scarcity. And I was thinking about how really doesn't it seem like economy values scarcity.</p>
<p>So it's good to, they want things to be scarce so they can bump up the value of [00:04:00] something or it just happens naturally they think. Or we think that when something is scarce, then the value goes up, but should it? Because I'm looking at human beings and I'm thinking about the 99% not being valued. And the 1% that are valued, the 1% that have the majority of the currency, the majority of the money in our society, how come they are in that state and how come the 99% are so not valued?! Is it because there's too much of us?</p>
<p>But if you really think about it, we are more valuable than the 1%. And I think that we're not seen as valuable. We are not treated as valuable because we are so disconnected from one another. That's my personal theory that if we were truly to connect with one another energetically and physically that if we shared our [00:05:00] ideas and we helped each other out,  the 1% would have no power.</p>
<p>Does that make any sense to anybody? So those are my meanderings. And then I'm thinking about money and the value of a person. And what is money? Is it a tool? Is it a tool? Of course it is. But is it a tool for manipulation? Like it's just crossed the line over to manipulation and how do we make money?   How does that all work?</p>
<p>Is it done with integrity or greed or desperation? Like when we, we go and let's say, okay, well, we're not going to work for someone else. Let's say we're just working for ourselves. Are we doing it out of desperation? Like, especially lately the past few years there seems to be so many online courses and there's so much, um, uh, strong arming.</p>
<p>Is that the word, the term, when, you know, when they really pressure you [00:06:00] to buy their course or something. Right. And, and it, it feels like it's done out of desperation. Like if you don't buy my product, if I can't scare you to buy my product, you're, you're just, it's not going to work out for you. Things are not going to be good.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:15] FOMO -</p>
<p>You're gonna miss out.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:16] It's either the fear of missing out, but it's also like, it's just fear. Like they, if you look at a lot of the commercials or if you look at a lot of the products that are being sold, the currency is fear. They scare you into buying something. So how has that integrity?</p>
<p>And to me, that's desperation on both sides, the desperation to sell your product. Like you can't sell your product because it's good. You have to scare people to buy your product. And then, you know, it can work on both sides, like using my desperation. I feel desperate. I'm desperate to make money and I'm desperate to buy.</p>
<p>It's not okay. That it's just not a good [00:07:00] way to have our society be. It's a bad feeling either way. But so, and another question is what do we give value to? Obviously, I feel like we've been giving such value to paper, to coins, to Bitcoins now, but do we really give value to our relationships? It feels like money has taken precedence.</p>
<p>Is that the word precedence? Yes. Money has been the top number one thing to do because not because we don't care about each other, not because we don't care about our relationships, but we need the money to take care of our families. We need to do whatever it takes. If you need me to work 20 hours. And that's my only choice I have to go and work 20 hours and leave the babies behind.</p>
<p>I have to, to put food on the table. Like the majority of our society has basically fallen into that. So we don't even see each other, which creates more [00:08:00] disruption, which creates less power, which creates just a horrible feeling of "why bother". There's no value put on human life anymore. It's part of the whole chain of events that has created such violence in the world and such fatigue and disease, and in humaneness. It needs to be fixed, guys. We need to fix it right now, talking about it today. So we can go back to valuing relationships more than anything else. Because if we see that we are so connected, we are so interconnected that if we can work together and support each other, we don't need to turn to doing this.  I don't know what word to use, but like this job that takes all the life out of you.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:52] I remember in what was it? Eighties, nineties aughts.  They would always talk about how in [00:09:00] Japan, certain customs had emerged and you couldn't go home from work until your boss left for work until your boss left the office in the day.</p>
<p>And we looked at that as like, Oh my God, that's such a terrible way to live, but are we really so  separated from that now ?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:16] In America, does the same thing.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:18] That's what I'm saying. I think we're, we're looking at a very similar world currently in, especially because now, you know, it used to be, you can be in the office and quote, unquote, pretending to work. You could leave early and people wouldn't necessarily know, but I think in today's society, you're  always tethered. You are, you're tethered  the way things go. You're tethered by your phone. You're also tethered. I'm also tethered by, you know, we use, uh, instant messaging and people know when you're online and if I'm not online, you know, if I'm offline for more than 15 minutes, it shows me as away. It's all very kind of overwhelming.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:54] You're even connected in the bathroom. I mean, come on. So all this leads me to [00:10:00] self-esteem and I was looking at esteem and I was looking at estimate; to estimate. And both relate to value .Esteem comes from estimate. Aestimare is where it stems from.</p>
<p>And estimate obviously means valuation. And aestimare is assess the merit of. It's an appraisal. So looking at esteem and estimate, and as a culture, as a society, has our esteem been so knocked down that we are slaves to the machine at any cost. And the cost is the loneliness epidemic, which is why we're here today, talking. The cost is not really having family and good family relationships. And then thinking about all the jobs that we all need to have to provide for our families to have a roof over our heads to have [00:11:00] food and the companies we work for, and the top 1%. We were talking about this, why are CEOs now making so much more money than ever before?</p>
<p>But the majority of the people, the 99% are making less and less. And if they're not making less, they're making the same as they did 10, 10, 20, 30 years ago, the wages have not really been going up. And the CEOs have made so much money. How did it all, how did all this start? Because a few decades ago, CEOs were not like this. They didn't make as much money. It's this way. What does this disproportionate disproportionate is not even a good word for it. It is astronomically different, higher than all the people that are actually working in the corporations for these CEOs. Is that fair? [00:12:00] When did it start? You asked Matt, is this sustainable?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:04] Yeah. And, and  that's, to me, that's a very, very serious question. I mean, it started by one random CEO getting paid more than, um, Traditionally. And then the other CEO took a look at the first CEO and said, Hey, wait a second. I want to make that much money. And the next one said, wow, I want to make a little more. And the next one said, I want to make a little more. And before you know it,  instead of making somewhere between five and 10 times the amount of like the highest paid workers, they're making a hundred, they're making a thousand, they're getting stock options. They're getting, and there's a perceived value of if I have this CEO, he will provide vision. He will provide leadership, he will provide guidance. And that's true. And you definitely want to have a good one, but if you're paying your CEO, the equivalent of, you know, tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars an hour, do they really provide that much value?</p>
<p> <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:52] I have a few more questions before we all started talking at the round table.</p>
<p>So let me keep going.  Why is this happening? [00:13:00] Why is this happening? Why,? What created all this... is it greed? What is this?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:06] Well, it is basically human nature  to be greedy</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:09] back to the whole issue of self-esteem and being valued. When we are desperate, we tend to just take whatever we can get and not say anything. And we don't want to cause any trouble because we don't want to lose our jobs. So we were talking about how maybe an Amazon employee may not say anything because they're like, well, I get health insurance right away. Well, I'm thinking, okay, well, what if you get fired? You have nothing. And the jobs are being quickly replaced by machines anyway.</p>
<p>and then so all these people that we look at as success. These are our people to emulate, right? All these CEOs that we're talking about, somehow they've become  the things that we worship like, Oh, I'm going to become the next [00:14:00] Jeff Bezos. I'm going to become a Bill Gates, Zuckerberg. Like they make it seem like anyone can do it if you work hard enough and if you get lucky enough. But  how are they acquiring all this wealth, first of all? How are they acquiring all this wealth? How is that happening? How is it? And don't, these people tend to pretty much control politics, which leads me to the next thing, which is  democracy and governments.</p>
<p>And it leads me back to, I've been obsessed with ancient Greece, specifically Athens and Sparta, the comparisons of the two and the, these both had slavery. And they treated their slaves differently. They treated their citizens differently. And it was very interesting who they considered citizens like in Athens, women were not considered citizens, but in Sparta, women had as much equality as anyone else. The way they treated slaves between Athens and Sparta, radically [00:15:00] different. But it's, it's just interesting how, like, if we go back to currency, Sparta, didn't like money. They did not use money. They felt that if they used currency that it would create such an imbalance between the citizens and they didn't want one person having more than the other. And the only reason they ended up using currency; when they actually started to develop coins, the only reason that led to that was war. They needed to create money for paying non- Spartan soldiers to fight Macedonia.</p>
<p>And  all this leads me to asking all these questions and Matt, you brought up Socrates and you know, our whole movements with "Our Friendly World" with the friendship movement, our main,  person that we look to as like look centuries ago, this person [00:16:00] said the same thing we are saying, which was, Aristotle.</p>
<p>And so going back, we're going to Plato and we're going to Socrates and Socrates taught philosophy by engaging people in conversation, he would ask basic questions about important topics, like really simple, innocent questions, right. But it made people mad .And people realized they didn't know as much as they thought they did. And the ones that were insecure about that got really upset at Socrates. So you had one team, one team that felt ridiculed, because they, it was shown that they really knew nothing. And then you have the other side, they were like, wow, Socrates, I want to learn from you. So they became students, right?</p>
<p>So there, we had two sides. Does that sound a little familiar? That diversity. And so, and what happened, ended up happening to Socrates is because he was raising so many questions. The government, the [00:17:00] democratic form of government killed him. They made him drink poison.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:04] right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:06] And so. I hope that we don't get in trouble like Socrates, but I would like to use this,  Socratic method and just asking questions for us to get somewhere in our conversations where we can figure things out.</p>
<p>We can figure out a way. And I really believe we can. Socrates often asked questions that went against the traditions and reflections of Athens. And so we may ask, I may ask certain questions, but I mean, no disrespect. I just, I'm trying to understand things and I'm trying to understand a way ,I'm trying to find a way for us all to come together again.</p>
<p>And just one more thing about democracy I've been thinking about, especially within the United States. And we have friends around the world who are listening and I want different [00:18:00] perspectives on democracy because I really don't think the United States is a democracy. The more I look at it, to me, it's a form of oligarchy.</p>
<p>It's really run by a few men, a few men that are controlling everything like these business owners. And so Plato and Socrates did not, they were totally against democracy. And why is that? So Plato said, so Plato pretty much wrote down whatever he could think of to write down from what, whatever Socrates was saying.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:18:33] He tweaked the message to suit his own ends,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:35] of course. But so this is if you look up Plato and  what he thought of democracy, because I thought, okay, Plato, Socrates, for sure, they would be totally for democracy. They weren't, they from a culture that invented it? So when I found out that they indeed were against it, I'm like, what, why?</p>
<p>And this is, this is very interesting now, especially this is what Plato was saying [00:19:00] that "any fool can become the leader and they can manipulate popular opinion". So any fool can come into power in a democracy and that's not okay. That's not okay. So can we think of some examples? I mean, there are many examples in our government, in the United States where some fool came in and disrupted everything and destroyed so many  people.</p>
<p>Anyway. So I think I'm kind of done talking so everybody else, what do you all think?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:34] Wow, you talked way too much about way too many things. I mean, how are we going to unbox this?!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:39] Look, I have a smorgasbord. I have a buffet table here. So whenever you guys want to talk about whatever's on your mind, pick a morsel here and there.</p>
<p>  <strong>Beth: </strong>[00:19:48] There were, there were two things that I picked out of all those amazing different things that you talked about there, Fawn. The first one, when you first started about talking about scarcity, and then I was thinking, well, we're [00:20:00] all individually unique. And so by our very nature, we have unlimited value because there's only one of us. If you think of it that way. And then I was thinking about  our own individual  value and how our currency in terms of our individual value is our, how we can barter with one another, how we can help one another, how we can collaborate. Um, in that sense, I don't tend to, even though I've worked in like politics and governance and, you know, at the heart of democracy sometimes in the past,  I don't always like to go there.</p>
<p>I don't like to think about the, the bigger picture. Maybe I should, maybe I should do more of that, but I think we all, as individuals have so much value and emotional currency and it shouldn't just to be about manipulation. It should be about how we can individually help one another, and, make connections that way.</p>
<p>So that, that was where my thinking was at as you were talking.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:20:56] But if you look at us as a society, we're not. [00:21:00] Okay. So a hurricane in America, hurricane hits, everybody rushes, everybody donates money. I get that. I get that, you know, we're very keen on helping Americans, but on some level it's like, if you're not inside of our little group, we don't care.</p>
<p>You know, if, I think if the same, um, hurricane were to hit somewhere in India, I don't know how much money America would end up sending. I mean, the government would probably send some for sure, just to maintain relations and whatnot, but the people themselves</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:21:33] that's just so in the UK, I feel like whenever, uh, I ju I feel like whenever there's something happening in another country in the UK, I think as we are very charitable and I don't know if that's just our society.</p>
<p>So you're saying that in America, that. It's charitable within your own.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:51] It, it feels like you have to be part of our tribe, part of our kind of click, if you will. And then, and then you're and then you're all right. Now, fortunately of course, England is the UK [00:22:00] is part of our little click, but still,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:03] I mean, look at, look at how looking at ancient Athens and then looking at the United States in particular, I'll just speak for the United States because I'm an American and we live here, but people are treated differently based on their social group.</p>
<p>Right. And so, and then there's just this whole us and them constantly. I remember being on a train ride with Matt and this, this kid came on.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:32] Oh dear...</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:33] It was a very long train ride, you guys. We were going from LA to Seattle. And this kid popped up, popped into the train, I think from Berkeley. He was headed to a university to take part in a debate. And so we were talking to him and Matt asked him what he was debating and he was debating on if we should give (and this is very poignant right now), and although this was years ago that this [00:23:00] happened on this train, right?</p>
<p>We were talking about drugs and should the United States give drugs to African nations, to African nations to help them out?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:11] Well, more than just give drugs. It was like, literally like should American corporations be forced to give up their trade secrets to even create these random drugs.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:21] So this was years ago, you guys, and now we're having the same issue right now with the vaccines, and helping India and how there are people in the United States like citizens saying, Hey, we should help them out. But the corporations, like I'm not giving up my secret sauce. I think that's what basically they were saying. Right? Right. So on this train ride, Matt said, cause Matt  loves to debate.</p>
<p>Matt loves the debate. And you know, when you listen to our  podcasts, Matt's always playing devil's advocate. If you,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:54] and sometimes I believe what I'm talking about. Come on.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:56] And sometimes, sometimes I'm like, is that you playing devil's [00:24:00] advocate? Is that really how you're feeling? What's going on?</p>
<p>But on those train ride, Matt and this kid started going at it on purpose. Like Matt said, I will play devil's advocate so you present your case and I'm going to say anything I can to just undermine you to undermine you. Now, other passengers did not hear that part. Okay. So the debate started and Matt started playing devil's advocate and I had no idea the extreme of racism in our country until that day, I was already aware that we were racist, but that day on that train, I really looked around and I that's when I started to get very scared, like I started to just sink  in my seat because I was afraid I was the only non-white person on this train.</p>
<p>So what happened was this kid was talking PRO and Matt was talking CON. [00:25:00] Next thing you know, everybody around us started cheering for Matt and we heard the most hideous words coming out of people's mouth that were sitting next to us. Basically using the S this was a years ago, guys, years ago, basically using the same terms, the same terminology that Trump used against certain countries in Africa, calling a certain word holes.</p>
<p>I didn't say that, no, the passenger, that one passenger next to you, then they basically, the way they were talking about Africa and how they didn't care about them. You know, we are American who cares about  those people. Anyway, the words that they were using were so scary and ugly. it really scared me in it, but I think does most of America think that way?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:59] Well, yeah, that's why [00:26:00] I wanted to dive in, um, where I was. Um, it seems like corporations like to blame,  their stockholders, you know, I would love to send a billion doses of the vaccine to fill in the blank, but our shareholders would never allow it. You know, this is kind of esotericness, and then, because you're sending it not to little Johnny you're sending it to these random, I don't know, what's the term. I don't know. De-humanized people probably, it's very easy to phrase this way. Um, you know, it becomes more of a dollars and cents decision than a life or death decision, which is a little challenging.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:38] And you guys, when this kid got off,  to his stop, the entire train car applauded and told him to get the hell off.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:48] I was very convincing. I took, I took a severe populous stance and, you know, I use the small words and, and there's a whole diction that you can throw down to get people to [00:27:00] agree with you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:01] They were cheering Matt on like he was their hero. It was, it was something else, guys. It's a</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:27:08] quick question, was the child  a  different ethnicity?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:12] No!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:12] Caucasian.</p>
<p>And I call him a child, but he was a university student</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:16] He was a university student and I was not, uh, but I took, I took a very populous stance. I used again, I use the small words, you know, I was careful with my diction, you know, I wasn't, I didn't throw out any college words. And basically he was making the emotional argument that we really need to help everyone on planet earth.</p>
<p>And I took the argument of yeah, but as dollars and cents and you know,  we don't want to give up our advantage. Basically. We don't want to give up our advantage,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:46] but in, do you think this has happened by some, uh, by some force, by some like messaging over and over again that has [00:28:00] trained us as a society  to think that way, instead of thinking we are one, we are completely connected. You are my brother and sister. Is this a way that's very conveniently brought about us separating ourselves from one another, because when we do come together, we are so powerful way more powerful than any 1%, than any rich, super wealthy entity that has all the money. We have the power. I just wonder. And especially looking at the state of the United States with so much this side and that side and nothing in between, is this a convenient way to separate us so that we are controlled by something else?</p>
<p>Is this too dark to say?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:28:52] Um, no.</p>
<p>I mean like it's, it's, uh, it's funny you talking about esteem. Yeah. And so [00:29:00] self-esteem like how we value ourselves. And I find recently a lot of people, or even like in films and, uh, on the radio and stuff like that, people say, um, I'm only human, you know, and then they put themselves in that box.</p>
<p>So they're only human and their not,  this powerful, beautiful, amazing, spiritual being. And it should really be the other way around; is that, cool, so I can do, I am I'm human, you know, standing in that power and humans are magically powerful. And part of that power is connection and stuff like that. And it's through  this suppression of self-esteem and, through disconnection and stuff like that, which that 1% that you went on about obviously does. and it's through fear which is always a big game changer. This is how it happens. My personal opinion.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:57] I totally agree with you.</p>
<p>One person, we [00:30:00] are incredibly powerful. Imagine if we're together, what we can do and all these ideas aside, all these different issues aside and labels of Republican or Democrat, they don't really mean anything. It's just, I wish we could talk about other things to come to the realization or remember, come to a point where we can remember that we are amazing humans, that we were all great.</p>
<p>I think we can turn everything around in an instant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:30:41] The problem is I don't think we value ourselves enough. We don't think that we can, as one person make any change in the world. Whereas if we value ourselves enough and if we all do a little something that all accumulates to [00:31:00] producing a change, so we all have to think highly of ourselves, so to speak, um, that we can do a change.</p>
<p>And also, as people say, you know, just be the change, it's just do one little thing.  Try to help  somebody out here and there. And if we all contribute that way in just one little thing, then we can make changes.  It's not like I'm one powerful person and I can change the world. It's not going to happen that way. It's all, everybody in their own little special way, we are all perfect people in our own special way. And we can all make the change.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:40] I agree. I was thinking about,  for example, Matt and I went through some hard times and we now just started talking about it.</p>
<p>And so on our podcasts, we have listeners that knew us from years ago, who reached out to us and they, they were hurt and upset [00:32:00] because they were asking us why we didn't tell them that we were going through hard times and we didn't tell them because we felt so alone and we felt so isolated. Um, that nothing would help.</p>
<p>And the people around us at that time period. Totally we're not good that, that they weren't, they didn't have the capacity. They didn't have the emotional currency to  be good friends. I don't know how else to explain this, but so, because we were disappointed in the few people  that we were surrounded by, we pretty much said, okay, I guess that's it.</p>
<p>And didn't ask for help, didn't tell anyone our trouble. And I guess what I'm trying to say is one of the little things that we can do is make a list. I was listening to this billionaire speak  a couple months ago, and he said, one day he decided to make a [00:33:00] list of, let's say, if he didn't have any money, who could he stay with for two weeks?</p>
<p>Whose couch could he sleep on for two weeks? And so he made a list and like, if we could get together and tell each other, Hey, if you get in trouble, you could have this space over here in my home for a couple of weeks. And if we all did that, we could all be homeless and have a home at the same time.  If we actually communicated that, Hey, I am, Hey, I will cook for you for two weeks. We can share our food with you. You'll be fine there. And this other person can say, I have a spare room, or I have a couch or whatever, but like, whatever, I often talk about stone soup. Like someone has a carrot. Someone has an onion, someone has some water. Someone has maybe a little bit of salt. Do you know what I mean? We bring that together and we can have a stew. We can have a meal together. You may not think [00:34:00] one carrot can do anything, but if we pull our ingredients and our resources together, emotionally first, and then maybe a carrot or an onion, think about it.</p>
<p>Our needs will be met. Our needs will have been met. And then what, then we can become more human. Then maybe we can relax a little bit and realize I am not alone. I don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I can, I can survive. We can survive together. And everybody has a different talent.</p>
<p>Someone could make you laugh when you really need it. Someone can give you a hug when you really need it. Someone can give you a blanket. Someone can tell you which way to go when you don't know which way to turn. And I know in this round table, you've all done that for me. And that's it. I think first step is we can make a list of the basic needs.</p>
<p>Right guys?</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:34:53] I have many, many thoughts and of the buffet table that has been so generously offered to me. [00:35:00] I took away a couple of things that that could actually dovetail nicely on what you just spoke about.</p>
<p>Actually all of you, a currency for me, and the value, the most valuable currency for me in this moment is safety and safety that can be defined in so many ways. Uh, certainly the way that, that you had just outlined, Fawn, which is, is there so talking about basic needs, we could go through Maslow's hierarchy.</p>
<p>Do we have shelter? Do we have a roof over our head? Is there water  available? And if I'm cold, is there warmth? Is there some way to be warm? So if those basic needs, those basic safety needs and survival needs are not met, there is no way that we could be as authentic or genuine or ready to connect with other people because we're on guard  all the time.</p>
<p>We're always trying [00:36:00] to figure out how we can be okay in our very basic needs and necessities before we can start moving up and seeing   how we can make</p>
<p>a bigger impact. And so speaking to what Katie said as well, it, it does start with: how do we value ourselves? How are we keeping ourselves safe in order for us to be curious and connect with, outside of ourselves?</p>
<p>Something about the word estimate came up for me as well, which you'd mentioned before. I think all of you had touched on it, which is there's an evaluation around it.  Which means basically judgment. And so back to that idea of safety, I know that the people that I surround myself with, will be the ones that are not evaluating, in a way that makes me feel unsafe or makes me feel like I need to have my guard up.</p>
<p>So for instance, the people at this table, the people in this conversation, I can have [00:37:00] some of these difficult conversations with, because I have felt a level of safety, I have felt a level of acceptance and I have felt that my currency,  what I can offer to the table has been valued, has been,  is considered it's considered valuable and helpful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm sort of rambling, but just wanted to make note that what stood out for me in this gorgeous buffet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:28] We each have the ingredients and that is of value. Thank you for that KJ. That's so true to that better though. Oh, Oh, wait to that point. Yeah. Um, to,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:37:48] to that point, how does one feel that they are valuable? That's what I was</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:54] speaking to, and</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:37:56] I'll try to sum it up.</p>
<p>I believe that I at least feel  [00:38:00] valued when I am safe and I'm feeling safe when I am held without judgment and provided the very basic needs such as warmth, listening, kindness shelter.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:15] Isn't that interesting? That being one of the most quote unquote powerful nations in the world, a lot of our citizens don't have those common core things like shelter, food, warmth, even running water.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:38:33] Yep.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:34] And it's interesting how certain areas  certain populations, certain social groups, especially don't have that. And why is that? Why is that allowed to have happen?  If we all help each other out  that doesn't need to happen, and we don't need to rely on a big government to take care of it, but we can rely on each other's friendship to take care of it.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:38:59] That's [00:39:00] it.  If we recognize our own power and stand in that and grow in that and not depend on government and stuff like that.</p>
<p>And the reason why we depend again is on fear. But yeah, we stand in that power and truly love ourselves and just concentrate on ourselves and then together grow together. Yeah. I mean the world people would be, would be just become beautiful and everything will get solved. That's the thing. No, one's concentrating on themselves enough  on self love and self growth.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:35] Yeah. It's because of fear. You're right. It's like the government is treated as the one all be all the, know all. So we can't do anything on our own because we need mom and dad to take care of it. And that kind of thinking has spread into all aspects of life. Like, I can't do anything myself because I'm just a kid. I don't know enough. I don't have enough and I don't make enough money. And I [00:40:00] don't have a standing in society. I don't have this degree, or I don't have, uh, whatever plaque you need that gives you some identity. And which leads me back to  how do we give worth to ourselves? And what is money?</p>
<p>And money is just a piece of paper or a coin. And now it's not even gold or silver. It's just some random piece of metal that we give value to. How come we don't give value to human beings? Human beings are the most valuable. The earth is the most valuable.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:34] Well value comes from what society agrees is valuable basically.</p>
<p>And society has agreed that gold, silver, frankincense, myrrh, whatever you want to call it, us dollars have value and that people don't necessarily have any value.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:49] If we come together as friends and remind each other how powerful we are, which happens to me when I'm talking to you guys, not just on the show, but like [00:41:00] we, you know, like, I'll talk to Katy on my own.</p>
<p>I'll talk to KJ. I'll talk to Paul. I'll talk to Beth and you guys make me feel valuable because out there I'm being told my photography is of no value. My talent is not valuable at all. And I have the worst days and I talked to you guys and you remind me, that's not true. Just yesterday. I was talking to Beth and KJ and I was saying how I'm unemployed.</p>
<p>And I was just basically talking about myself, like, well, I don't matter as much as you guys do. Cause you guys have jobs and I'm  unemployed over here . And you guys remind me, that's not true. That is not true. I do have a carrot. I have something to offer to this meal. </p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:41:46] You have a buffet..</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:46] Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:41:50] That's right..</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:41:52] Yes. You generously offer this buffet. You offering a moment for us to come together and [00:42:00] have these conscientious and compassionate conversations</p>
<p>that is so valuable.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:05] If it wasn't for a friend saying that I definitely would not hear that in our culture, in our society. I hear the opposite.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:42:12] I think the way that you were talking yesterday was that you were putting the value on a career or a job or employment, and that's not, that's not our total value.  We identify sometimes careers in our, how successful we are in our day to day, but that isn't everything about us, I think we forget that sometimes. Our value is all facets of who we are and not just how successful we are.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:39] I think it's part of the human condition to focus on those areas that we perhaps feel need improvement. I think that that's why we go through imposter syndrome for instance, which is this whole sense of, I'm not good enough to do whatever it is I'm doing.</p>
<p>Be it a parent, be it a, uh, employee, be it a person sometimes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:57] Yeah. But where does that come from? There's [00:43:00] some messaging that tells us that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:01] There is a messaging, but I also think that there is a part of us that constantly strives for self-improvement and least I want to believe.</p>
<p>So I'm weaken area a so I'm going to improve area A..</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:43:12] Yeah. Evolution, baby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:16] But I think where the messaging gets confusing and awkward and off is the fact that sometimes we feel we can't be successful unless we're Puff Daddy or unless we're Gina Ford or unless we're,  parent of the year.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:31] This is obviously a never ending conversation or maybe it could have an ending. Maybe the happy ending is closer than we think. How can we wrap up today's conversation? And then how can we prop it up in a way where we can see the light.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:52] See, for me, we've been here before, we've been here a number of times. And what are you talking about? The how, how do we wrap up [00:44:00] the show? How do we, how do we tie this into a bow? And we've been here before, we've been here a number of times and we're back here because we have this nasty habit of dragging ourselves back here.</p>
<p>I think the way we need to end the show is by, is by recognizing and treasuring and letting the people around us know Katy. I see you. I see you. And I appreciate you. And I value you. You know what I mean?</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:44:30] so I think we should just say the hell with society and all of their expectations and we should just be there for each other. And I know Fawn, if you needed something, I would be there in a second for you. And I know you would do the same for me. So I think that's, what's most important is to be there for each other.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:53] And we don't have to be there for the whole planet.</p>
<p>It could be just one person, one person. And if everyone [00:45:00] did that, right, it would be an embrace around the world ( Katy agrees).</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:45:05] There's this kind of idea of how Buddhists live. So they, the idea is, you know, they, they, um, they lived their lives for themselves. Um, And they look after themselves and they walk on their own path kind of thing, and they don't go out their way to to help anyone. They just concentrate on themselves. And then on the path, if someone comes along and needs help, then they help them kind of thing with like full love.</p>
<p>And if, if the whole world did that, it would be, um, it would, it would be beautiful.  But what I, my kind of like idea of that is like, I would look at it in like, um, a butterfly way. So like, we all need to become butterflies. We're all these caterpillars, we all need to  metamorph into these butterflies by [00:46:00] concentrating on ourselves and really like Self growing and self love and all that kind of stuff, figuring out our power. That's the thing, figuring out our power as we are powerful beings,  spiritual beings, and then when we become this beautiful, amazing butterfly that can now fly, you know, that's how powerful we all, we're there crawling on a little leaf and it takes us like two hours to get thirty centimeters away and now we can flutter and fly with, colorful, beautiful wings. And then we dance around each other, and become a flutter, which is like a group of butterflies. Anyway, I dunno. I think I started talking about a fairy tale or something, but, um, that's my kind of idea of  what, what needs to happen?</p>
<p>It's the metamorph, well soulfully become the butterflies and then dance together in the beautiful garden.</p>
<p> [00:47:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:59] Beautifully said,</p>
<p> <strong>Beth: </strong>[00:47:01] I don't know what more I could</p>
<p>add to that. I thought it was a beautiful story. Maybe, maybe, maybe we, it is coming back to fairytales. Maybe it's more about the stories that we tell ourselves, giving ourselves time to recognize our superpowers, but also recognize them, you know, the people as well and tell people about their amazing super powers.,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:26] Beth.</p>
<p>That is it, Beth. Beth. Thank you. Yeah. So from now on what I'm going to do is when I meet people, I will. I don't care if it sounds crazy, but out of the blue, I will say what I recognize their currency to be. Your currency is the ability to see fairytales in everything. Your currency is to see way into the future.</p>
<p>Your currency is to take pictures. Your currency is to [00:48:00] help people understand emotions. And I value that that is valuable currency right there. That is gold. I'm just going to say stuff like that, whatever I notice, I'm going to attribute it to currency and make sure that that person feels they're worth the worth that I see in them, that society needs.</p>
<p>And if we, we did that for each other, I think it would help a lot.</p>
<p> <strong>Paul: </strong>[00:48:27] Yeah. Yeah. It's um, it's helping each other become the butterfly sort of thing. It's like a Caterpillar shouting at another caterpillar on another leaf going,"OY! Don't forget you can change! You're beautiful inside and he's going. Oh yeah. And then he started getting into the cacoon. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:51] Perfect. Perfect. Anything else anyone wants to add before we go? Whoa,</p>
<p>wake up,</p>
<p>[00:49:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:01] Katie. See you. Hello. Don't yell at me. All right. I started this whole and then Paul added the butterfly and here we are. Now we, now we have, Caterpillar's talking to each other, letting each other know their butterflies. I started it. Hey.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:19] All right, everybody. Um, I guess that's it.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:49:22] Oh look, Beth's  got the two little butterflies.</p>
<p>Oh, she's got</p>
<p>three. She's got the whole flutter!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:29] We are free. We are not slaves to the machine. We can fly. We can fly. Yeah. All right, everybody, I guess that's it for today? Is that it? Okay. We are powerful guys. Stay together and stick together.</p>
<p>We we've got this. We are stronger. We are the most powerful currency out there is our friendship.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:53] Better, stronger</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:54] together. That's right. Better, stronger, together. Just like our, motto says. [00:50:00] All right, everybody. We'll talk to you in a few days. Thanks everybody. Thank you, Paul. Thank you, Beth. Thank you, Katy.</p>
<p>Thank you. KJ safe travels and Matt. Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:14] Thank you Fawn.</p>
<p>Talk to you guys soon. Bye everybody. Bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We have been taught to think that when something is scarce, then the value goes up, but should it? Because I'm looking at human beings and I'm thinking about the 99% not being valued. And the 1% that are valued, the 1% that have the majority of the currency, the majority of the money in our society, how come they are in that state and how come the 99% are so undervalued?!
But if you really think about it, we are more valuable than the 1%. And I think that we're not treated as valuable because we are so disconnected from one another. That's my personal theory that if we were truly to connect with one another energetically and physically, that if we shared our  ideas and we helped each other out,  the 1% would have no power.
Does that make any sense to anybody?  And then I'm thinking about money and the value of a person. And what is money? Is it a tool?  Of course it is. But is it a tool for manipulation? Has some piece of paper, coin, or ethereal coin crossed the line over to manipulation and how we make money?  How does that all work? Is it done with integrity or greed or desperation? How does self-esteem play a factor?
I would like to use the Socratic method by asking questions for us to get somewhere in our conversations where we can figure things out. I really believe we can figure out a way. Socrates often asked questions that went against the traditions and reflections of Athens. And so we may ask, I may ask certain questions, but I mean, no disrespect. I'm trying to understand things and I'm trying to understand a way for us all to come together again.
This roundtable takes us through politics, the economy, self-worth, ethics and a bit of history as we ask questions and define some important terms in order to create change.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our round table. Connected.
Matt: [00:00:04] Hello?
Hi everybody. Today we have Paul. We have Katie.
Katy: [00:00:11] Hi,
Fawn: [00:00:11] we have Beth.
Beth: [00:00:13] Hi, everybody.
Fawn: [00:00:14] And we have KJ. Okay. KJ is on the road you guys, she is driving. Uh, well, she's in the passenger seat, but she's in a car. All right. Today's show is currency. What is it?
Matt: [00:00:29] What is it?
Fawn: [00:00:30] All right. I'll give you some definitions. Currency is a medium of exchange. By the way our round- table is about connected. We're all connected. We are interconnected and our conversations revolve around how we are truly interconnected. And one of the ways in which we are connected is through currency.
So I want to talk about that and it's not just money either. And you'll see we'll get into it. So currency is a medium of [00:01:00] exchange for goods and services in the form of some material. It can be paper, money, coins, et cetera, issued by a government and generally accepted at its face value as a method of payment.
So there, it has like five definitions for currency. If you look it up, it's something that is used as a medium of exchange, like money. It is, something that is generally accepted, a general acceptance, prevalence and Vogue, whatever is in vogue. The third definition is a time or period during something that is widely accepted, and circulated.
So a time period, right; like current events. The fourth definition is the fact or quality of being widely accepted and circulated from person to person. Circulation, as of coin is the fifth one. [00:02:00] And then when I looked at "current", it is passing in time belonging to the time actually passing like current events.
It is something that is prevalent or customary. It is something that is popular. It is something that is new and present like something recent. T...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Roundtable.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:51:13</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Yard Stick – How we measure up and what is the measure of a human?]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 30 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-yard-stick-how-we-measure-up-and-what-is-the-measure-of-a-human</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-yard-stick-how-we-measure-up-and-what-is-the-measure-of-a-human</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>Hall of fame quote from this episode -</strong> Matt: Everybody has like one yard stick and that's a big problem because it allows us to measure everyone against this one yard stick.</p>
<p>Fawn talks about Ancient Greece, Sparta, and the similarities to the government style of rule in the United States, in a way, asking if we are treated as the same way these ancient governments treated people in their society.</p>
<p>How can we have equilibrium?</p>
<p>How does currency and war factor in the society? What is the price for a country like the United States (a country that has always been at war of some kind)? What kind of society has that created? What kind of feelings is now embedded within our bodies and our spirit from the generational violence that we don’t fully understand we take part in (that we have been part of)?</p>
<p>We also talk about how we measure time. Why is it that time seems to stand still sometimes?</p>
<p>Why do we settle for situations that are not life affirming?</p>
<p>Can you distinguish between your true desire, and desiring something out of envy?</p>
<p>Why does it seem like we always want more? Fawn has an answer.</p>
<p>When can we throw out and get rid of the yard stick? Matt has the answer.</p>
<p>Matt: “Let the world surprise you.”</p>
<p>At the end of the episode (around min 58), Fawn has a very cool share that may help those of you frustrated with waiting for something big in your life to happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT:</p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Here we go. Here we are. Here we go.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:05] Good evening. Good night.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:06] Hello everybody. I just recently learned what GMT was. Cause I couldn't figure out when our show airs and I was telling everyone midnight, one minute past midnight folks! And my  friends over in Seattle, they're like, we're hearing you at 6:00 PM at dinner time is when we listen.</p>
<p>I'm like, no, it comes out at  one minute past midnight for those of you in the UK. That's when it comes out. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Hi everybody.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:33] Hello. See, I always knew what Greenwich Mean was because yeah, I had to book, I read and they said Greenwich effing Mean it was just funny.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:43] So why is everything revolving around the UK and</p>
<p>not everything?</p>
<p>Okay.</p>
<p>Well, all right.</p>
<p>Let's not</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:49] forget that once upon a time, the sun never set on the British empire and that was like a thing. What do you mean? Well, they had so much territory all around the world that. Anywhere, [00:01:00] like anywhere, like the sun was always up over one section of it because they own flipping everything right.</p>
<p>From India to Australia, to South Africa</p>
<p>to,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:11] yeah, it's funny because when I would travel all the time for photography and everywhere I went, there was a stamp from the British, like there was something they left behind, you know what I mean? And it was usually a very scary, like I kill you here. All right.</p>
<p>Um, it was two 30 in the morning. There was an earthquake Santa Monica, and one of the biggest cockroaches started climbing up the wall.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:43] Is this a Nugget of Wisdom??</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:45] Yeah, negative. And, you know, I had Herman and Harriet visit me every Saturday night when everyone else was on a date, including these cockroaches, Herman and Harriet.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:55] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:56] That I called Herman and Harriet. I swear every Saturday when everyone [00:02:00] else seemed like they were on a date, these two  () I already talked about this, but reminder ),these two cockroaches would come out and  watch TV.  It was crazy. I'd be watching a movie or...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Hall of fame quote from this episode - Matt: Everybody has like one yard stick and that's a big problem because it allows us to measure everyone against this one yard stick.
Fawn talks about Ancient Greece, Sparta, and the similarities to the government style of rule in the United States, in a way, asking if we are treated as the same way these ancient governments treated people in their society.
How can we have equilibrium?
How does currency and war factor in the society? What is the price for a country like the United States (a country that has always been at war of some kind)? What kind of society has that created? What kind of feelings is now embedded within our bodies and our spirit from the generational violence that we don’t fully understand we take part in (that we have been part of)?
We also talk about how we measure time. Why is it that time seems to stand still sometimes?
Why do we settle for situations that are not life affirming?
Can you distinguish between your true desire, and desiring something out of envy?
Why does it seem like we always want more? Fawn has an answer.
When can we throw out and get rid of the yard stick? Matt has the answer.
Matt: “Let the world surprise you.”
At the end of the episode (around min 58), Fawn has a very cool share that may help those of you frustrated with waiting for something big in your life to happen.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Here we go. Here we are. Here we go.
Matt: [00:00:05] Good evening. Good night.
Fawn: [00:00:06] Hello everybody. I just recently learned what GMT was. Cause I couldn't figure out when our show airs and I was telling everyone midnight, one minute past midnight folks! And my  friends over in Seattle, they're like, we're hearing you at 6:00 PM at dinner time is when we listen.
I'm like, no, it comes out at  one minute past midnight for those of you in the UK. That's when it comes out. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Hi everybody.
Matt: [00:00:33] Hello. See, I always knew what Greenwich Mean was because yeah, I had to book, I read and they said Greenwich effing Mean it was just funny.
Fawn: [00:00:43] So why is everything revolving around the UK and
not everything?
Okay.
Well, all right.
Let's not
Matt: [00:00:49] forget that once upon a time, the sun never set on the British empire and that was like a thing. What do you mean? Well, they had so much territory all around the world that. Anywhere, [00:01:00] like anywhere, like the sun was always up over one section of it because they own flipping everything right.
From India to Australia, to South Africa
to,
Fawn: [00:01:11] yeah, it's funny because when I would travel all the time for photography and everywhere I went, there was a stamp from the British, like there was something they left behind, you know what I mean? And it was usually a very scary, like I kill you here. All right.
Um, it was two 30 in the morning. There was an earthquake Santa Monica, and one of the biggest cockroaches started climbing up the wall.
Matt: [00:01:43] Is this a Nugget of Wisdom??
Fawn: [00:01:45] Yeah, negative. And, you know, I had Herman and Harriet visit me every Saturday night when everyone else was on a date, including these cockroaches, Herman and Harriet.
Matt: [00:01:55] Right.
Fawn: [00:01:56] That I called Herman and Harriet. I swear every Saturday when everyone [00:02:00] else seemed like they were on a date, these two  () I already talked about this, but reminder ),these two cockroaches would come out and  watch TV.  It was crazy. I'd be watching a movie or...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Yard Stick – How we measure up and what is the measure of a human?]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>44</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>Hall of fame quote from this episode -</strong> Matt: Everybody has like one yard stick and that's a big problem because it allows us to measure everyone against this one yard stick.</p>
<p>Fawn talks about Ancient Greece, Sparta, and the similarities to the government style of rule in the United States, in a way, asking if we are treated as the same way these ancient governments treated people in their society.</p>
<p>How can we have equilibrium?</p>
<p>How does currency and war factor in the society? What is the price for a country like the United States (a country that has always been at war of some kind)? What kind of society has that created? What kind of feelings is now embedded within our bodies and our spirit from the generational violence that we don’t fully understand we take part in (that we have been part of)?</p>
<p>We also talk about how we measure time. Why is it that time seems to stand still sometimes?</p>
<p>Why do we settle for situations that are not life affirming?</p>
<p>Can you distinguish between your true desire, and desiring something out of envy?</p>
<p>Why does it seem like we always want more? Fawn has an answer.</p>
<p>When can we throw out and get rid of the yard stick? Matt has the answer.</p>
<p>Matt: “Let the world surprise you.”</p>
<p>At the end of the episode (around min 58), Fawn has a very cool share that may help those of you frustrated with waiting for something big in your life to happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT:</p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Here we go. Here we are. Here we go.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:05] Good evening. Good night.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:06] Hello everybody. I just recently learned what GMT was. Cause I couldn't figure out when our show airs and I was telling everyone midnight, one minute past midnight folks! And my  friends over in Seattle, they're like, we're hearing you at 6:00 PM at dinner time is when we listen.</p>
<p>I'm like, no, it comes out at  one minute past midnight for those of you in the UK. That's when it comes out. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Hi everybody.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:33] Hello. See, I always knew what Greenwich Mean was because yeah, I had to book, I read and they said Greenwich effing Mean it was just funny.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:43] So why is everything revolving around the UK and</p>
<p>not everything?</p>
<p>Okay.</p>
<p>Well, all right.</p>
<p>Let's not</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:49] forget that once upon a time, the sun never set on the British empire and that was like a thing. What do you mean? Well, they had so much territory all around the world that. Anywhere, [00:01:00] like anywhere, like the sun was always up over one section of it because they own flipping everything right.</p>
<p>From India to Australia, to South Africa</p>
<p>to,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:11] yeah, it's funny because when I would travel all the time for photography and everywhere I went, there was a stamp from the British, like there was something they left behind, you know what I mean? And it was usually a very scary, like I kill you here. All right.</p>
<p>Um, it was two 30 in the morning. There was an earthquake Santa Monica, and one of the biggest cockroaches started climbing up the wall.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:43] Is this a Nugget of Wisdom??</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:45] Yeah, negative. And, you know, I had Herman and Harriet visit me every Saturday night when everyone else was on a date, including these cockroaches, Herman and Harriet.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:55] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:56] That I called Herman and Harriet. I swear every Saturday when everyone [00:02:00] else seemed like they were on a date, these two  () I already talked about this, but reminder ),these two cockroaches would come out and  watch TV.  It was crazy. I'd be watching a movie or something by myself and they would come out and I'm like, look at that.</p>
<p>They even have a date. Everyone has a date, but me, even these roaches, because one was slightly bigger and they looked like husband and wife to me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:22] See, this whole thing is vaguely disturbing. Go ahead.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:25] Anyway, this isn't about them. This is a different roach.  This roach</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:28] (Matt laughing...) This is a different roach. Awesome.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:31] There were many in this building by the beach.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:33] Come to beautiful  Santa Monica.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:35] Well, no seriously, but apparently they weren't roaches. They were called a water beetles. They're really big. And when they walk, you could hear them and they're like tap dancing when they walk. It's loud. So this particular one really disturbed me for some reason. It could have been from the earthquake. I was already rattled in more ways than one and maybe the, because the walls were rattling, this guy [00:03:00] popped out and I was staring at it. And I, this day I got really freaked out. So I yelled for, for my friend.  Michael seems to be a popular name.</p>
<p>It wasn't the Michael Flinkman that I talk about with the nuggets of wisdom, this Michael was my friend who was an architect who lived next door and we also talked through them plumbing. So it's two 30 in the morning. The earth shook and I'm like, "M I C H A E L !" Help. Michael comes running in his underwear, like, you know, his sleepwear,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:37] Eye to the chi...And during an earthquake.</p>
<p>And he'd had to know what the heck is happening to this poor guy. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:43] Never thought about it until now. Actually</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:45] you could be pinned under some random thing.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:49] Yeah. He did come with a total like hurry</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:52] Right. Of course.</p>
<p>That's exactly what I would</p>
<p>do, but yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:54] I'm sorry. I'm sorry Michael. I totally didn't think of it like that.</p>
<p>The thing is I saw a Roach</p>
<p>[00:04:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:02] anyhow,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:03] but those roach. The energy of this roach  really freaked me out. So here comes Michael and he's there and I'm holding myself really tight. So I think I, I, I mean, I don't think I was yelling, but I'm holding myself tight and I'm not saying anything. I'm just pointing to the Roach and he's like, "FAWN -. Don't yell." I'm like, I'm not yelling. He's like, don't yell, Fawn. I don't know. But I wasn't, I don't think I was so like, we were going back and forth. He's like Fawn, stop yelling. Don't yell. I'm like, I'm not yelling. You're yelling. Meanwhile, the music has been on the whole time in my studio. And guess what the song is while he's trying to kill this Roach with his flip-flops.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:51] "I'm walking on sunshine."</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:53] "What the World Needs Now Is Love, Sweet Love."</p>
<p>[00:05:00] Do you know how that goes? Can you try to sing it?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:03] (Matt singing) What the world needs now is love, sweet...</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:08] This music is BLASTING! It's like do, do, do do, please. Don't Sue us. That music was like loud because it was on before the earthquake. Right. And while I'm telling him to kill it, I'm hearing the irony of what is really happening in the song.</p>
<p>Ah, so anyway, that's the nugget of wisdom.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:33] Okay. What's the wisdom in THAT?!.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:35] What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No matter what is freaking you out. Just remember that. Cause that stopped. That stopped me. I'm like, don't kill it. Just take it outside please.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:46] Oh, okay. So we didn't end up killing it.</p>
<p>Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:49] Actually my, my memory stops.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:51] Right, right. As the crunch sound. Woops, sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:54] NO!!!!!! I  don't think he did. I really don't think he did, but my memory does stop right. When I [00:06:00] realized what the song was saying.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:02] Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:02] And so fade out from there.  Nugget of Wisdom: what the world needs now is love sweet love, regardless of how rattled you may be, how scared you may be and whatever you're looking at, whatever is going through your mind, really what we need is that .</p>
<p>All right.</p>
<p>So do you want to lead today's talk, honey?</p>
<p> <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:24] Of course not.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:25] Usually I start the show. Matt has no clue what we're going to talk about. So I'm like, okay, so you know what, today, these are the choices it's been a while since you and I just talk by ourselves,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:37] it feels that way.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:38] It feels that way because we've had so many people on lately and that's right.</p>
<p>That's usually not our thing. Even though we have a round table, Where are we have friends talk and we all talk together. We just riff you and I ...just... that's what we do.</p>
<p>  All right,  I'll start. So, okay. So we were talking at the round table about ancient Athens and [00:07:00] Sparta, and we were talking about the 1% and we were talking about the CEOs and we were talking about democracy, oligarchy, monarchy, like all the different ways that our society is ruled and taking a really good look at that.</p>
<p> I've been really obsessed I'm not sure, but really taken by ancient Greece and how the United States totally  I want to say resembles, but that's not the word I want to say. They really copy the ancient greek government</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:30] in a lot of ways, for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:33] In almost every way from even the artwork that's hung and all the different buildings,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:38] right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:39] To the structure of the buildings, to the facets of the government, it's almost identical, like really?!  And I say, really, because, when you first start, when you're a kid and you start learning about Greek democracy, you're like, wow, that was the best. And you know, that's what America touts, it's where the "best government in the world", [00:08:00] democracy, democracy, democracy.</p>
<p>But if you really look at it, we're actually an oligarchy and that ancient Athens never really had a democracy either.  They tried, but they had different ways.  The rich people preferred oligarchy and that's ruled by a few powerful men.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:16] Right. Yeah.  And while, yes, indeed, officially, officially on the books, we are a representative democracy. Yeah.</p>
<p>And that's, that's also forms that they had a</p>
<p>lot of people throw around an awful lot of money to make laws that</p>
<p>they're going to like,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:31] and that's an oligarchy.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:32] And so then that's affecting it like an oligarchy, yes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:36] And  not, everyone was considered a citizen.</p>
<p>So ancient Athens, women were not considered citizens.  Slaves were not considered citizens.  And then there was Sparta and they had slavery too, but their society was actually more, even if you were, if you were to compare it directly to ancient Athens. Right. Right. So they had [00:09:00] slaves, but, Okay.</p>
<p>You know what? I don't want to get into all that. But so women in Sparta were equal citizens, and we were talking about how Sparta, didn't have money. They didn't want money because the leaders about that, it would create an unjust society that if you bring in coins, if you bring in currency that it would completely have an unequal standing with the people.</p>
<p>Like somehow people will have more money than other people, and it will create an unjust society.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:35] If I'm bartering, if you and I are both farmers and I swap my olives for your beef or whatever it is we swap we're done. We also have commodities that'll spoil. So certainly, but once, once you introduce money and money as this kind of, uh, you know, it doesn't wear out, it doesn't rot,</p>
<p>there will be those people who are always going to seek to amass, all of, as much of it as they can. It's human nature. [00:10:00] Unfortunately, greed is human nature.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:01] What I've found interesting was they didn't use money until war came around. The only reason they started to use currency was to pay non Spartan soldiers to fight Macedonia.  It started to make me think because you and I always talk about how isn't it interesting in the United States, we've always been at war. war of some kind. And whenever I say that, people look at me weird, like they look at me the same way they would look at me when I said, you know, uh, we're having a friendship problem in our society, in our culture, in the United States. I get the same look from people.</p>
<p>When I say the United States has always been at war. But think about it, they'd go about and how it started. Think about all the ways that they, they took the land. Think about what they did to each other during the civil war. Like it's never ending. It has been never ending.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:56] Right? I think it's one of those things that people get [00:11:00] want to be comfortable... people hate the word always because it's one of those huge words .</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:03] You hate the word always.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:04] Right. And if you splice it perfectly, I would say. But, but Fawn between June and August of this year, there were no Wars fought and all of a sudden, then I can say it's not always, but yeah, it kind of basically,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:18] no,</p>
<p>it has been always because he may not be on our territorial space, but it's overseas somewhere.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:27] Well, again, I don't want to start splitting hairs, but I'm sure I could come with a week period, a week's worth of days, seven days that we weren't actually a war with somebody in the history of the United states.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:38] I, I challenge that. I would like to be shown when that was. And isn't it  interesting, we're saying for seven days, like, were there a few days where we weren't</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:48] and that that's just it as a, as a computer programmer, you know, that's, that's how I handle these types of arguements..</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:55] I know, I know. I actually appreciate that about you. Cause I tend to say [00:12:00] always about things when I'm just over exaggerating. I really don't think I am here. You know, I don't have specific facts about every single day</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:08] It seems like certainly in the modern age, we've always had at least tensions with other countries.</p>
<p>It's not like we've ever been at a point where we're like, yeah, everybody let's just be mellow. There's nobody upset with us or anyone</p>
<p>else. I know. Well, and there you go,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:27] ...that you know of...Because anyway, um, uh, this is veering off to a different tangent. I will say that I remember a few years ago, listening to this man being interviewed, who decided to  with his wife leave the United States.</p>
<p>And they drove, they drove to Canada, they moved to Canada and this  was a pretty stoic person. He was saying that as soon as he crossed the border to Canada and he saw the Canadian sign. And that he knew in fact, now they were [00:13:00] now in Canada, living in Canada, he immediately started to cry. And that  he was not a crier.</p>
<p>And he was saying, I never thought the amount of stress and pressure I felt being in this country, in the United States, the violence,  the constant being at war. I never realized that I had that pressure on me until I left. And that made him cry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:29] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:29] And in some ways that's how I felt every time I traveled outside of the United States to go photograph another culture, I felt so many different things.</p>
<p>You know, my big thing was the friendship that made me cry, that we didn't have the same friendship that I'm seeing existing and all these other places that I thought was just me feeling like the sense of friendship and  the grandness of friendship and  friendship being the most important thing to me, the way I [00:14:00] felt, I always felt like I was the only one who felt that way, but once I started traveling again,  when I was old enough to just go on photo shoots and do things on my own, I realized, wow, it's not just me.</p>
<p>These cultures value friendship, the way I thought it was supposed to be valued, that we don't in the United States. So much like the same kind of epiphany he had about war and the tension. Right. And so going back to the currency thing that we were talking about at the round table, you and I always talk about, isn't it interesting that after a big war where everyone is definitely aware that we are at war,that the economy gets boosted every time.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:47] Well, this is one of those cases where the government has to throw lots of money at building planes and training men and building an army and paying for this army, et cetera, et cetera.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:58] When I was reading about [00:15:00] Sparta, em, that they started using currency only because of war, it got me thinking, thinking about is this how they generate money? Currency is through war. Whereas shouldn't currency be a positive thing, shouldn't it come about from great self-worth great esteem. Being able to make money with the highest of standards, with the greatest of care and kindness and creating value to life rather than the opposite, which is to destroy and break down?</p>
<p> And just looking at currency, I was thinking about, wow, look at this piece of paper that we give such value to, but we don't give that same value to each other as human beings. We don't value life the same way we value this piece of paper.</p>
<p>And I'm not saying that other countries around the world do this, [00:16:00] but this is the culture that we've been raised in you and I am at. Right? And it seems like that's the most valuable thing and relationships are not, people are not. And if you look at the terminology, if you look at the words that are used, is there to dehumanize people, to make us feel like this group over here is not worth anything.</p>
<p>So if the message subliminal or not, if the message is constantly out there saying these people are not worth anything, not even calling them people. So when the atrocious things are done to certain groups, certain social groups, more people are apt to look away, not say anything and not say, Hey, that is wrong. Stop. What are you doing?! That needs to stop! That never should have happened. And instead we're using words now, now that we're [00:17:00] finally having more people speak up, you're hearing words like "enough is enough". And when I hear  "enough is enough", that really bothers me like, Oh, so at some point it was okay.</p>
<p>For you to say enough is enough. Like, okay, that's enough. It never should have happened. Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you understand what I'm saying about the enough is enough? Why are we saying enough is enough? Like that means it was okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:26] It infers for sure. Absolutely no argument. It's just a question of saying, okay, I'm going to draw.</p>
<p>I'm finally, we're finally going to draw the line in the sand and not that it was ever okay. But that now it's literally, it's ridiculous. And everybody needs to stand up and do something.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:42] But now it's ridiculous? What I'm saying.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:45] I know, I know</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:46] You know. No.  What I'm trying to prove is how words are so embedded in us that we don't even realize we're using it and what it really means.  Going back to estimations and [00:18:00] esteem. We were looking at the word estimate and esteem. They both have the same core meaning, which is  value. And so you brought up some good questions for us today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:18:12] Well, it starts with, we kind of view people differently based upon what we perceive to be their social group. So if we are, you know, if somebody is a valet or a waiter, we treat them differently than we treat someone who is a CEO of a company or our boss.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:36] Yeah. Is that because they're attached to that note, to that currency</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:18:40] or that uniform in some cases,  and I think there's a lot of people. People don't tend to see the person checking them out at the grocery store. You know, this is just hello.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:51] People don't even see me. I'm standing</p>
<p>in line.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:18:54] Right? Exactly. But this is just a functionary here that you murmur a pleasantry to. But heaven help  you if they [00:19:00] get the order wrong,  if they mess up on your, checkout, , or they're too slow or they're too anything. Oftentimes we won't even necessarily see people  who are queued up with us at the supermarket either.</p>
<p>They're just an obstacle in my way. They're not actually people.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:15] And I can understand everyone listening right now say, well, I don't do that. But even I do that like the other day I was out and I was worried and the person and I were talking this person that was in front of me. And later when I went home, I'm like, I couldn't tell you what she looked like.</p>
<p>I couldn't tell you the color of her eyes. I couldn't tell you the color of her hair. And we were together for at least 15 minutes talking and she was actually a nurse that I was dealing with. Right. She was giving me a shot. And why is that? I totally didn't really look at her. I was under pressure. I had a lot on my mind.</p>
<p>I was scared a little bit. I was in a situation that was new. So there are many [00:20:00] factors why we do this. So I'm not saying, I'm not trying to say, Hey, you know, look at us. We, if someone, I'm usually the one saying, Hey, you know, you guys don't see me. You guys think I have a certain coloring and a certain look.</p>
<p>So you think I'm here to wash your house. You here, you think I'm here to clean your house. And I get ignored all the time. Right? So I have been behind the counter. I've had many jobs and yes, people totally treat you differently. They mistreat you most, most of the time, but even being a customer, just like standing in line, people ignore me all the time.</p>
<p>You know, it's the same thing. I'm not trying to say, Hey everybody, we're all racist. It goes beyond race and class structure. It's also just being so in your own head and your own thoughts and in your own troubles and in your own world. It's so simple to just stop that for a second and take a [00:21:00] breath of fresh air and smell what's going on around you and take a look at the sky and maybe notice the flower that's out there trying to wave to you.</p>
<p>It's the same thing when we're in front of each other with people; to really look at someone. It doesn't take any effort really. And it gives you more energy when you do that, because it expands you. It expands your myopic way of thinking and feeling.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:26] That is definitely true.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:27] Myopic being, having tunnel vision.</p>
<p>Right. Right. And not even tunnel vision because at least with  tunnel vision, you're still looking out there. But to have the sense of mind to  notice, Ooh, there's a tree here. You've been ignoring this tree. Or there's air that I'm breathing. Let me take a deep breath. Ah, okay. And then you start noticing more.</p>
<p>And if we just do that, not only does it help you to feel better, but you end up connecting with your fellow human being or your fellow animal out there, your [00:22:00] fellow.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:01] Well, I think we need to stop looking at people as obstacles  and look at, you know, because I'm late because I'm busy because I have 85 things to do, and everybody always says 85 things to do.</p>
<p>But do you remember when you used to slow down? I mean, for me personally, when I would slow down, it seemed like I could get more done.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:20] You have more time.</p>
<p> When I was a baby? Yeah. I did weird things even when I was in diapers and I can remember them, but I remember looking at the clock and trying to slow down the second and the second hand, meaning the seconds that it counts.</p>
<p>Right. And then later much, much, much, much later I realized that's a meditation technique. Right.  I knew very early that this whole time thing was just some rule that we have in our society. Like it's going to be this time. This time is when this happens and then age, this age is when this happens.</p>
<p>No, no, [00:23:00] you can just realize that all of that was manmade, That, and if you think about it, if you look at Einstein's work and  the theory of relativity, there is no, it's not linear. Everything is happening at the same time.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:14] Yeah. But Einstein was, was nutter, I mean, he came to the conclusion that he had to throw out time as a constant kind of factor.</p>
<p>And so he did because that's what he could see and that's where we follow. But absolutely. But yeah, there are those periods of time where time seems to stop AKA when you're in detention. Well, why is that? Is it just because you're still, is it just because you're only focused on one thing, which is probably getting the heck out of detention?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:43] That's a good question. I don't know if we can put it into words. How does it stay still? You know, when you have scientists that are teaching meditation now, like the scientists they try to break it down to, and we talked about this, like being in the gap, minding the [00:24:00] gap, you have to get into that place of nothing, the nothingness where you're nothing  and there's no, there's no thing. There's nothing .You're in that space. Like even when you break cells down, if you keep magnifying a cell and you re they realize that things aren't actually happening within a cell, it's  on the outside of this cell, where there  seems to be nothing. And it's in that space where the true magic is. That's where you can manipulate things.</p>
<p>That's where you can change things, right? So maybe when you're quiet,  you're accessing that space of nothingness and you're able to manipulate, you're able to change experiences and you're able to step outside of  that manmade structure of time. Right? Slow things down,</p>
<p>Or, maybe when you're really bored, your brain speeds up because it wants to find something to do.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:24:55] And in the process of your poor little brain speeding up, it means that time [00:25:00] starts to elongate in your head.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:02] No..</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:03] (Matt laughs).</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:06] No, it's when your brain slows down. When things speed up, we feel like we don't have any time.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:12] When things speed up. Yes. But,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:14] and when you speed up, yeah. Right? All of a sudden you have a meeting at nine Oh five followed by another one at nine 26, you have, in the meantime, you're multitasking, you're doing all these things.</p>
<p>And then this is getting your attention. That needs your attention. And what are you really doing? Nothing,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:32] Maybe.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:33] I mean, out there, have you noticed the past couple of years, the meetings have increased. If you have a job job, like a job, if you have an office job, how many meetings are we all in back to back to back to back and how much work is being done?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:48] I don't know 100%. I'm not a hundred percent sure. That's fair. I mean, certainly at the position I'm at right now, yeah, it seems like we have a lot more meetings. I don't know if that's universal. That's all, but it does certainly feel that way for me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:59] What I'm [00:26:00] trying to say is you get yourself. There's the four letter word busy.</p>
<p>You get yourself busy. And what do we really accomplish? When people are really busy, when friends are really busy, you're taken away from the main source you're taken away from the main path that you have your true desire.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:18] Well, you're certainly distracted. It's a lot. Yeah. That was going to say it's all about distraction.</p>
<p>Can you, can you read the other questions that you had read all the questions again, just read the questions that you had.</p>
<p>What were they again? Um, and, uh, complete derail. Let's, let's go off on the rails for a second, but why do we feel that we always get what we deserve or get what we feel we deserve?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:46] I don't feel like I get what I deserve.</p>
<p>I deserve great accolades for my photography</p>
<p>work.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:52] Okay. We're talking about people with normal esteem or normal self-esteem or</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:58] are you talking about people who [00:27:00] just settle? I think I might be. So could it be a better question to say, why, why are we settling?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:06] And perhaps</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:08] because we can't dream bigger because we don't think we can. Because there's no hope</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:13] or because this is what we see all around us, you know?</p>
<p>Um,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:17] again, being myopic right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:20] In my neighborhood, in my, you know, there I am, I've got my lovely tract house that's just like the one next to it. And my next door neighbor buys a new car. So then I buy a new car and</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:32] I think there is a difference between following the Joneses, which how do we explain what that means in other countries?</p>
<p>There's a difference between wanting something because you're feeling envy because the person in front of you has it,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:48] or the person next door. Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:50] I mean, you're not even really, truly thinking, is this what I want? Right. You think it's what you want because you're trying to achieve a certain status. [00:28:00] And why are we going for that achievement of the certain status?</p>
<p>It comes to value again, self-esteem. There's something missing inside of us that we're not getting. So you think, well, if I have the car, I'll get it. If I have this house, I'll get it. Really the core of everything is to have all your basic needs met, first of all; that you're healthy, that you have proper food and water to drink shelter, and you have shelter; that you are safe.</p>
<p>But there is that feeling of not feeling safe, much like that guy I was talking about who drove to Canada, who moved to Canada. And immediately once he crossed the border, he realized how much duress he was actually under the whole time. It was a subliminal thing. It was something he  he didn't even know was there.</p>
<p>Like  whenever there's something that's bothering us, there's a noise that's bothering us. And not until it stops, do we  realize that noise was there and it was really bothering us. [00:29:00] Am I the only one who's got that? Have you ever felt that? Yeah, absolutely. Like when you turn off the sound in the background, you're</p>
<p>like, Oh yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:07] Uh, much, much more tangible is I've worked at jobs that have been very stressful, extremely stressful. And after a while you get quote unquote used to it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:17] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:18] And when I left that job or maybe was asked to leave, let's not, let's not split hairs. Um, the first thought that goes through you is what just happened.</p>
<p>And then the second thought that went through me was thank God, thank God I am free.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:34] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:35] So yes, no, no, no, no. And that's certainly a much more tangible, I think think God help me. I hope not everybody has been in that situation, but it seems like another one of those kinds of universal things, which is, you know, your work is asking more of you than perhaps it should</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:50] Right. And, or you were in a really bad relationship. You know, of nothing else. So that's normal. And then you start craving that normal because it's at least [00:30:00] something that's familiar to you. Right. But when you step away from it, you're like, Oh, thank God I'm out!</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:08] Right. Yeah. Well, it's certainly once you gain that perspective, for sure.</p>
<p>Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:11] So could you repeat that question again? Cause I, now I'm like off on so many tangents in my head. I forgot the question.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:18] Oh, why do we get what we feel we deserve?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:20] Yeah.</p>
<p>Because we don't dream better and bigger. And when we do think we are dreaming better and bigger, it is through envy and not true source.</p>
<p>So what is your dream,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:34] right? Well, yeah, like, uh, one of my Aikido instructors said, you know, do you move from love or do you move from fear?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:43] Do you think envy is lumped in there with fear?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:47] See,I would say, do you move from positive emotions or do you move from negative emotions? You know, that's kind of the more universal way of putting it, but fear and love certainly makes things a little more makes it makes things [00:31:00] clear enough.</p>
<p>So envy is another form of fear of missing out or a fear of someone getting ahead of me and mine or, you know, that kind of stuff. I mean,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:10] it's everywhere. Like when we drive, have you noticed cars want to be in front of you. And you all end up at the same spot, not spotlight, you all end up at the same stoplight, but they just want to be in front of you.</p>
<p>Like little things like that, that happened in our culture really trip me out. I'm like, wow, why did that car want to be in front of us?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:31] Right. </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:32] I just want them to go in front of us actually, because I don't appreciate their, vibe behind me. It stresses me out. And I, I feel like I'm a safer driver if they're in front of me. Because if you're going to drive unsafely like that, just to be ahead, please be in front of me because I'd rather see what's in front of me as opposed to if they're driving so recklessly, I don't want them to rear</p>
<p>end me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:57] Right. Yeah. And I, I get that. Where I get [00:32:00] worried is, okay, so this, if this, if this Nutter gets in front of me, is he going to cause an accident in front of me?</p>
<p>And then I have to figure out what to do about it versus if he's behind me and I can keep him behind me, then you know, he can't get to me on some level. Like if something bad happens to him, odds are it won't be with me and him. So I will be fine. So it's it's and there's a trick to it. So if I let them pass me, I like to let them go way</p>
<p>past.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:27] Yeah, I want them to just to get away.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:29] I want them off the horizon,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:32] right? And they usually do until there's a spotlight. It's why do I keep saying spotlight until there was a stop light? And here we are again,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:41] I know, I know, but fortunately, because  the town we live in, which is the world, everyone's our friends, you know, it's probably just, our buddy just needs to get somewhere and things are a</p>
<p>little urgent right now.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:52] Yeah. That's a, that's uh, a quote I got from, I think it was Christina Ricci. How do you say her last name? [00:33:00] Christina Ricci. V T R I CCI. And she was asked a question a long time ago and she said, I just treat the world. Like it's a small town and everyone's on my side.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:08] It's probaby how she deals with negative reviews.</p>
<p>It's just a buddy trying to help me out. I mean, it's not like they're trying to slam me, you know, as a person, they're just said, you know what you did today? Kind of blows..</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:18] But I like that. I like, you know, ever since I heard that years ago, I, I say that all the time to the kids, like, okay, our friend over there is having a bad day.</p>
<p>But they're our friend, let them go. They're like, they're not our friend. I'm like,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:35] I don't know them.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:37] I'm like, look, just, I'm going to call them instead of human or this person. I'm just going to say, friend, just go with me here. They need to go to the bathroom. They're in a hurry. Let them go. Don't get so heartbroken over their treatment of you.</p>
<p>It has to do with them. Our friend is in a hurry. Our friend is having a bad day, and has  nothing to do with you.  If you start thinking [00:34:00] like that, like, okay. And I believe I've been in a situation where I need to drive the car really fast. Cause I, it was an emergency. Right. But the person doesn't know that,</p>
<p>right. That that is in  another car we got.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:13] That's my theory of the universal a-hole. No one can be an a-hole a hundred percent of the time. It just can't happen.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:19] I know. It's weird. I disagree with you.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:22] There are very few people who I would say that their mothers actually hate them. That they're like that despicable of a person, 100% of the time.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:30] Well, you know what that reminds me of, you said something once you said no one is, well, I forget the word you use, but no one I'll just use the word despicable. If you're looking at them close up.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:42] Which of course, I think that in the, in the realm of the sound though, in the realm of the soundbite Wars,i.e. Could you, could you nail me on the soundbite?</p>
<p>Yes, you can.  It's one of those challenging beliefs that doesn't pass the soundbite test, but yeah, I do tend to believe that. Now, could you [00:35:00] find that one person who is thoroughly despicable 100% of the time? I think you could. I think they're an exception and not a rule, but that's maybe that's just my Pollyanna ish sense coming out or my eternal optimist.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:13] Well, I mean, yeah, anybody, if we sit down with them, we could have a conversation with,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:18] well,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:19] no, maybe</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:19] I can!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:20] I just, okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:20] Now I can, I don't know about you baby.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:22] Oh, lately. No, I've had no patients, like I'm starting to do things that are not okay. Like, just speaking with your parents, I check out now. I'm like, I can't.</p>
<p>I can't, I cannot carry a conversation.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:39] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:39] And that's bad on me. At the same time, I feel like it's all I can do to not get my heart racing and not end up yelling.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:49] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:50] Or saying something disrespectful, even though I feel like they're being disrespectful to me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:55] Right. And that's because we need to perhaps practice our empty [00:36:00] jacket much more often and not providing them with the emotional levers because you know, people love to push other people's buttons because it shows emotion, it shows connection.</p>
<p>It shows that you still care. It's a messed up thing, but that's where people get to.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:14] So do we carry conversations? I mean, I'd rather not talk anymore.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:18] Right? Well, I'll talk about innocuous things for the most part.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:21] What a waste of time. I can see the weather. I don't want to talk about the weather.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:26] Right. I know. Trust me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:30] So what are we really getting out of these conversations?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:32] Well, okay. I think we're giving out of these conversations.</p>
<p>I don't</p>
<p>think we're getting, and you know what we are giving and,</p>
<p>but it's also good practice for our kids to see us communicating with people who we don't agree with as well as it's a good opportunity for them to experiment with their own topics of conversation and going through them with an adult in an adult manner and gauging the reactions.</p>
<p>And, [00:37:00] you know, if they say something that's completely out of bounds, we'll talk about it later. So they get a sense of appropriateness, which is not necessary, which is a really good thing I think. Because again, if we want to take us back to different social groups, right?  How can you communicate across social groups?</p>
<p>You know, I like to believe I'm very good at it, but I'm not good when it comes to socioeconomic social groups. I'm good with talking with different people who believe differently than me, but more kind of on a similar level. As far as our quote, unquote class class being upper class, middle class, lower class.</p>
<p> You're not?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:40] Okay. Tell me what things you're not good at talking to a socio economical</p>
<p>group.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:45] It can be hard when somebody is,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:48] what does that mean? Does that mean you don't know how to talk to the (Matt and Fawn talk over eachother)?</p>
<p>I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:51] don't know how to talk to people who are richer than me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:53] You don't?!.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:54] NOOOOOOOO. It's  very, I know we're talking like</p>
<p>that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:57] Wouldn't you speak a normal human speak [00:38:00] though? Would there be a difference??</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:01] You would think so, , but then the topics they bring up, they can, they can strike. Oh, like, um, I have a guy I talked to who's, he's actually a really, really great guy and he might even be listening to this. So I'm going to keep things perp. No, I can't keep it vague. Josh love you. But sometimes it's hard talking to him when he's talking about the big suitcase full of money he had once upon a time. All right. That he took a picture of, and you know, um, yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:28] Why did he have money in a  suitcase?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:31] He had, it's a long, complicated story. He borrowed money from a friend. He borrowed like $50,000 from somebody like, here you go. And he was paying him back while he was being yes. And he was being kind of an ass because he wanted to give him a big suitcase full of money.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:47] That's funny.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:48] Yeah, it is funny. And that's part of his sense of humor, but you know, this is somebody who has, you know, he owns three houses and he's got a massive stock portfolio. [00:39:00] It's hard sometimes to talk about stuff like that, because I start to feel envious. I, and you need to own it.</p>
<p>You need to own your own. Exactly. But you know, it, it feels like life is a race and I feel better when I'm in first place. And when I'm talking with somebody and you know, it's, it's, it's a matter of, I always talk about it as your yard stick. Everybody has like one yard stick and that's a big problem because it allows us to measure everyone against this one yard stick and you know, okay, fine.</p>
<p>So let's, let's, let's do the, how much money do you have a yard stick? Well, that's great, but what if you're talking to the Dalai Lama, your yardstick sucks. You can't measure him that way you can't measure the Pope, you can't measure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:57] Why do you have to measure the Dalai [00:40:00] Lama as opposed to Joe Joe over here ?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:03] Well, I'm measuring joe and the Dalai Lama.</p>
<p>Right. And, and it's a way of, as a programmer. I love, and I think as a person, but again, I don't know if I'm just weird or I'm just, you know, it it's a quirk of mine cause you never know.  But we love to categorize people.</p>
<p>You know,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:23] you do.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:24] Well, yeah. And I think people do. I mean, even when we talked to Mostafa, he mentioned, what was it?</p>
<p>Barnacles, butterflies, one time friends. And, you know, he literally took</p>
<p>it labeled the sales labels</p>
<p>and he put people in four little boxes, right. Because as opposed to this is Fawn</p>
<p>and this is Matt.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:43] But see, I can't do that. Like I have trouble with those boxes and trying to be an entrepreneur. And like having people become my mentors, they were forcing me to put things into boxes and I could never, ever, ever do it.</p>
<p>And I always failed that part</p>
<p>[00:41:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:00] because my wife is like the one person on earth who does not have a favorite color or even a favorite, two colors or three colors</p>
<p>or four colors.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:08] And is that why I've had so much trouble in my career because I cannot do that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:13] Well, you need to. You need to find the people who think like you do and then figure out how they do what they do and what they do, which is a whole other story.</p>
<p>And that dehumanize again, putting people into boxes, dehumanizes them. And I realize I do that. And I've been very fortunate to have people who you wouldn't necessarily measure on a single yardstick with a particularly large number and who have, who have absolutely stunned me with their generosity, with their kindness, with their friendship, with their, with the joy that they bring me. Which has really forced me to say, I need to throw out my yard stick, but realistically, I've just got like eight yard sticks now, but that's another</p>
<p>story.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:58] The yard stick to me is [00:42:00] exactly like how we drive and you get upset if someone drives crazy behind us and does some crazy maneuver to get ahead of us. You don't want them ahead of you. So then there's this game that you play. For me, the suitcase is the same exact thing as being on the road and getting upset because this person is now in front of you or wants to get ahead of you and you don't want to, you don't want to be the one left behind. For me, I'm like, please, everybody get away from me. Go ahead, go in front. Let me figure out my lane. I want, I'm trying to figure out how to get to where I'm getting, please. I don't want the distraction of you driving crazy around me with your Lamborghini. I don't care.  I'm trying to figure out how to get off this exit.</p>
<p>Where's my exit. Where's my, do you know what I mean? Do you know what I'm trying to say?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:52] I completely and utterly  get it, and this is one of the reasons why we drive each other crazy</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:58] I drive you  [00:43:00] crazy?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:00] Of course you do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:00] WHAT?!</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:01] but it's a good thing</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:02] What drives me crazy about you.? I mean, what the other way around.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:07] Well, let's</p>
<p>just talk the car, shall we?, you know</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:09] what</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:10] I like them  behind me. I just do.</p>
<p>And you don't,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:15] but they can rear end you.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:17] Yeah, but they're not going to get in a multi-car collision.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:20] But if they do</p>
<p>avoid, you have to swerve. If you're not see, that's the thing, you drive too close to people. I do not, Oh my God.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:28] You're going to have me down as being like the world's worst driver, babe. I am a reasonably safe driver.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:32] You are, but it still scares me because I have a different energy when I drive. I operate on pure energetics and I stay away from people. Right. Right. So you may say I drive way slower than you do. but it's it's I forgot what I was saying.</p>
<p>Go ahead. Gosh,</p>
<p>go ahead.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:54] Um, I dunno. I feel like I've made my point and defended it..</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:58] No, I had things [00:44:00] to discount, but now I forget what it was. I feel upset. I drive you crazy. What have I done that drives you crazy? No, go ahead.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:09] Love you sweet pea...</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:10] no love is not winning right now. Whenever we get into fights, one of us has to shout:</p>
<p>"love is winning," and if you try it, it kind of makes you even more upset for a second. But something else happens when you say love is winning, but no. What, what about me do you not like I don't. I want to know. Oh, hell no.</p>
<p>Any who..., what were the other, what was the other question?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:43] Why does it seem like we always want more?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:47] Because we are empty on the inside. It's like eating a meal. If you eat a bunch of junk food, you eat it, you you're full. You feel like you're full, but you'll be hungry again because you haven't had [00:45:00] proper nutrition.</p>
<p>You haven't had the right vitamins that a true food is there to provide. When you're eating empty calories, you're starving. So if you're constantly going after the Lamborghini and the penthouse and the boat and whatever it is, the suitcases filled with money, what are the true basic needs that you really haven't had?</p>
<p>Have you really had proper nourishment? And what is that? And that to me is relationships. It could be a relationship to source. It could be relate both of them, actually, not just with source, but your relationship to your fellow man, fellow human beings, fellow nature, earth. All of that when that's missing, you can never get enough.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:47] True. True. And I also have to say  you know, part of it, I think for me, and I think I'm more guilty of this than most is also that I want, I crave the respect of my [00:46:00] peers.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:01] And</p>
<p>that's not going to happen if you don't have relationships, if you're not talking, but if you're relating to your peers only from suitcases of cash and money and status and positions at work, that's an empty shell right there.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:14] That is true.</p>
<p>But I also, people I'll say men don't like being vulnerable either, and it can be hard to, uh, you know, show who you are.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:23] Yeah. Because we were taught being more vulnerable as weak,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:28] and it is,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:29] but really being vulnerable if someone can, this is why I want to do a whole series with the martial artists that I'm trying to reach.</p>
<p>So. You can make yourself vulnerable, but you can have someone, you can tell someone, Hey, here, punch me in the gut and they'll punch you in the gut. That's vulnerable. Right. But once you realize I've opened myself up and that punch didn't hurt me because at my core, I am strong. You're not [00:47:00] vulnerable.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:00] Well, yeah, no, no, no, no.</p>
<p>And I was going to say exactly the same thing. We're going through a project at work right now. And it's very, very funny because, um, programmers are kind of ultimate egoists. We can't, we kind of can't help it cause we're typing and creating worlds and solving problems and we seem, it all seems, it can all seem quite magical from the outside, which is pretty awesome.</p>
<p>And God knows, I love it. Um, the trick is, is that because we are these, these little tin plated gods that, uh, it's very hard for us to admit our own weaknesses and yet to the point where we're working on a project way too hard inside of the timeframe we have for it. We were choosing the appropriate moment, which is very early in the  process to say, Hey, look, we don't think we can make our deadline.</p>
<p>And you know what? It confuses people that we say it because they're not used to hearing that they're used to hearing excuses or, and always we have to say is we suck, or we're not saying we suck, but we're [00:48:00] saying there's too much work here. And as we dig deeper, we keep finding more work. And so I don't believe we can get it done.</p>
<p>There's no admission of ... There obviously is an admission that we're not going to make the schedule, but I'm not saying it's because of a lack on my part. And there's no inference of a lack on my part because we're doing everything we can do. I just don't believe it can be done. And this is confusing to the bosses because they're not used to hearing this.</p>
<p>They're used to hearing excuses. And we don't, we're not offering up any excuses. We're saying this is who we are and this is what all we can do. So, yeah, I totally agree, but it can be hard to have the emotional distance and clarity to see</p>
<p>this.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:46] It's only  hard because  we don't normally operate like that.</p>
<p>So if you're a truly honest, and if you're truly like, let your guard down the quote unquote guard, [00:49:00] I'm not talking about letting your core strength down, I'm talking about that shell. A shell can be easily cracked. So if your shell is always like, Hey, I'm the best. I'm not emotional. I don't let things get to me.</p>
<p>There's that empty space inside where you are totally feeling all those things that you're building this wall around to protect. That wall can be cracked so easily. But if your core is strong, you are strong. So there is no weakness. You're not vulnerable. You're vulnerable when you have the walls up.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:33] You're also  vulnerable when you're not honest with yourself. If you don't own your inner Popeye, then yeah. Your inner Popeye will at some point own you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:42] So, I mean, there you go, folks, right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:46] There you go.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:47] I don't like people can say whatever they want about me, all the things they don't like about me. I don't care. I'm strong at my core.</p>
<p>Now it does hurt my feelings that people will behave certain ways and say [00:50:00] things, but you're not destroying me. I'm hurt by  actions because I'm sad. I feel sad that you behave this way because it's not just you it's society. Right. And you were taught in so many different ways that it's okay to behave like that.</p>
<p>And that's where I get sad. That's where I feel hurt, but you're not hurting me. Right. You're hurting yourself in every big part of society. Right. And that's what I'm here standing, trying to say is, or sitting on my yoga ball, trying to say right now is this is really what's going on. The yard stick, the, the measure of a person, the measure of life, what in the world has taught us that this is okay. That w what we think is normal is okay. And if we step out of it, we're going to be horrified by our actions, our actions in business, our actions within our families, our actions within [00:51:00] just every aspect of society.  When can we reach a point where we can say, Oh, thank God we're out of that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:08] Right. I get it.</p>
<p>All right. Do you have any other things you want to talk about? Ah, I'm good. What is the measure of a person?</p>
<p>It's sublime and it's complicated and</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:24] it's not</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:27] for me. Okay. The measure of myself, I think is different than my measure of someone outside of myself. And then I start getting into the, I started getting into the, um, um,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:38] you have to explain that.</p>
<p>I don't know what you just said,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:40] I know, I know, see my, the measure of my worth, excuse me. The measure of my worth is basically confronting my inner Popeye. You know, I am what I am understanding who I am understanding all my foibles and looking at myself honestly and openly, you know, and then [00:52:00] as far as measuring others. First of all, I shouldn't do it. And I know, but I can't help it,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:06] but there is no, if you really measure your core, it is infinitely out there. It's a  sphere that is infinitely expansive. So you're measure and  someone else's measure is the same measure. If you, if you look at your core, your true measure is the source that you're connected to, that you are, which is love.</p>
<p>It is infinite. It keeps going out and out. You can't measure it. There is no measure and it reaches everybody else. And if you keep stepping back away from it, that that ripple is actually touching everybody else. And so we are all the same measure. It's when we look at the superficial stuff and the Lamborghinis and the houses and our rankings in society, and, looking at each other to [00:53:00] each other, as servants and leaders and all these different labels, that's when or fracture happens.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:06] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:07] Reticulation: back in the day with photography, you would take your film when we had film. When  you use the chemistry and the water and you're processing your film. You take pictures and you get your negatives.</p>
<p>There was a process called reticulation where you would have drastic change in temperature, and it would split the silver, the emulsion into these cracks, like the cracks you would see on the desert floor, you know, those cracks I'm talking about. If there's a dried Lake,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:39] I do.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:39] And it would make these designs like cracked, like separate all these tiny, it would take the image and totally turned it into like a shattered piece of glass.</p>
<p>And that was called reticulation. That's what happens when you have so many labels and you try to [00:54:00] measure things and figure things out, as opposed to staying with the constant of just one simple thing, which is love, which is just whatever you want to call it; beauty and love God, whatever. If you stay with that, it's pretty simple.</p>
<p>And I can say that right now because it's peaceful right now. There's no one threatening me right now at this particular second. Do you know what I mean? I have not been listening to the news this instant, right. And I'm pretty centered right now, but with the commotion of the world, with all the noise that can easily be taken away from me.</p>
<p>So going back to that nothingness and just trying to be still and try to slow down time or time being slowed down that, that state of nothingness, if we can just capture that. And that's what we did in martial arts. Right? Right. You had a soft eye, which meant that you're not focusing on your opponent's [00:55:00] eyes.</p>
<p>You're not focusing on anything with your opponent. You're seeing, you're kind of crossing your eyes to the point where you're seeing everything at the same time. And it's not just about seeing what you're feeling what's coming next. Like everything kind of melts into one thing and you are able to transcend time and you are able to transcend whatever force that's about to come hit you, and you can maneuver around it like the Matrix.</p>
<p>He slowed down and he could bend in different  ways your body normally doesn't bend without falling.  There's a reason why all this art is created. That is real.</p>
<p> That's it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:41] Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:42] Okay, what?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:43] I said. Okay. Thank you everyone.</p>
<p>What's. Is that the end?</p>
<p>I think so. I don't know.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:50] What did we even talk about today? What did we talk about?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:53] Uh, we talked about, you know, what the world needs now is love. Sweet love do, do, do, do, do. All right. And, uh, [00:56:00] and, and esteem and self</p>
<p>esteem</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:02] again, back to love, which means</p>
<p>knowing your value</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:06] and understanding what you do and don't deserve.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finding peace with, you know,</p>
<p>we deserve greatness. Yes. We deserve greatness.</p>
<p>Don't confuse envy with greatness. Don't</p>
<p>exactly. And also, yeah,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:21] don't let envy determine the greatness,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:24] the, and throw</p>
<p>out your yard sticks.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:26] Yeah, I guess, yes. I don't know. I don't know why I'm having a weird reaction to that, but okay. All right. Anything else?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:35] Let the world surprise you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:38] Yeah, well, I mean, it's a movie, right? Oh my God. Can I just share with you the lesson I had to learn this week? Someone told me to wait and I got so angry, like frustrated, like I wanted to yell all kinds of explicits. How do you say the word XSplit tip expletives. XSplit what [00:57:00] expletives. Expletives. Those would be naughty words. Folks. She told me to wait, like how much longer do you want me to wait? I've been on this planet for this amount of time, man. How much longer do I have to wait?</p>
<p>You tell me to wait. I'm here to create, I'm here to like build things and she's like, that's the problem? Stop and expand. Like what I was saying with the you're expanding your love, like expanding that core. She said, expand. Well, she said, expand your aura, expand, but like, let your arms be out open for receiving at the same time, be patient in your waiting and be, just be okay with waiting while you have your arms open. And when she told me that I was still very angry and I didn't think I got it. Cause I thought, Oh man, that's really [00:58:00] hard. I don't know how to do that. And, but just her saying that to me, me seeing that vision, something weird happened that had nothing to do with what I'm trying to create.</p>
<p>But because I was in that waiting with my arms open, something that we were trying to do, that was hard for us immediately just happened without any effort. I thought I'd pass that along.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:58:27] Gotcha.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:28] All right. I guess talk to you in a few days we have, um, some great things coming up. be on the lookout.</p>
<p>We'll talk to you in a few days. Once again. Our friendly world.com or our friendly world podcast.com. Share your thoughts. Leave us reviews, help us spread the word about the art of friendship. Help us to spread the core of light around the world. And thank you by the way, all our listeners around the world, [00:59:00] all the different continents now.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:59:02] indeed.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:03] Thank you for listening. Thank you for being our friends. We are so grateful. Yes. I will talk to you in a few days. Everybody be well, bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Hall of fame quote from this episode - Matt: Everybody has like one yard stick and that's a big problem because it allows us to measure everyone against this one yard stick.
Fawn talks about Ancient Greece, Sparta, and the similarities to the government style of rule in the United States, in a way, asking if we are treated as the same way these ancient governments treated people in their society.
How can we have equilibrium?
How does currency and war factor in the society? What is the price for a country like the United States (a country that has always been at war of some kind)? What kind of society has that created? What kind of feelings is now embedded within our bodies and our spirit from the generational violence that we don’t fully understand we take part in (that we have been part of)?
We also talk about how we measure time. Why is it that time seems to stand still sometimes?
Why do we settle for situations that are not life affirming?
Can you distinguish between your true desire, and desiring something out of envy?
Why does it seem like we always want more? Fawn has an answer.
When can we throw out and get rid of the yard stick? Matt has the answer.
Matt: “Let the world surprise you.”
At the end of the episode (around min 58), Fawn has a very cool share that may help those of you frustrated with waiting for something big in your life to happen.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Here we go. Here we are. Here we go.
Matt: [00:00:05] Good evening. Good night.
Fawn: [00:00:06] Hello everybody. I just recently learned what GMT was. Cause I couldn't figure out when our show airs and I was telling everyone midnight, one minute past midnight folks! And my  friends over in Seattle, they're like, we're hearing you at 6:00 PM at dinner time is when we listen.
I'm like, no, it comes out at  one minute past midnight for those of you in the UK. That's when it comes out. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Hi everybody.
Matt: [00:00:33] Hello. See, I always knew what Greenwich Mean was because yeah, I had to book, I read and they said Greenwich effing Mean it was just funny.
Fawn: [00:00:43] So why is everything revolving around the UK and
not everything?
Okay.
Well, all right.
Let's not
Matt: [00:00:49] forget that once upon a time, the sun never set on the British empire and that was like a thing. What do you mean? Well, they had so much territory all around the world that. Anywhere, [00:01:00] like anywhere, like the sun was always up over one section of it because they own flipping everything right.
From India to Australia, to South Africa
to,
Fawn: [00:01:11] yeah, it's funny because when I would travel all the time for photography and everywhere I went, there was a stamp from the British, like there was something they left behind, you know what I mean? And it was usually a very scary, like I kill you here. All right.
Um, it was two 30 in the morning. There was an earthquake Santa Monica, and one of the biggest cockroaches started climbing up the wall.
Matt: [00:01:43] Is this a Nugget of Wisdom??
Fawn: [00:01:45] Yeah, negative. And, you know, I had Herman and Harriet visit me every Saturday night when everyone else was on a date, including these cockroaches, Herman and Harriet.
Matt: [00:01:55] Right.
Fawn: [00:01:56] That I called Herman and Harriet. I swear every Saturday when everyone [00:02:00] else seemed like they were on a date, these two  () I already talked about this, but reminder ),these two cockroaches would come out and  watch TV.  It was crazy. I'd be watching a movie or...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Baby-with-long-measuring-tape.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:00:06</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED – Roundtable #5 – The Art of Creativity and Compassion]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Wed, 26 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/connected-roundtable-5-the-art-of-creativity-and-compassion</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-roundtable-5-the-art-of-creativity-and-compassion</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What are the guiding emotions of our society are right now? What did we do when we had no parameters of time when we were children; when there were no instructions other than to go and do? Who is the real you? What does it mean to feel like YOU? When did you feel most like YOU? What are some examples of “Happy Places”? What are the words, sounds, colors, scents, movements associated with your place of honor and happiness?</p>
<p>What is the true definition of art? What are some ways to express what is in our realm of life and can we get key insights that are right before our eyes that we may have been oblivious to?</p>
<p>This roundtable comes from a gathering session (one of KJ’s wonderful online courses) led by our brilliant KJ Nasrul where she guided us through our emotions using art. What transpired was this roundtable discussing in depth the art of creativity and compassion. KJ provides guidance and support for this very healing episode.</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everybody. Welcome to connected where we are all interconnected and we're finding out ways in which we are. Today we have our beautiful friends. We have Paul ,Beth, Katy, and KJ today.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:17]  AND Matt! </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:18] I'm sorry, babe. I'm sorry. Matt is here too. Everybody .Love is winning.  Today we are focusing on compassion, expression, emotion, creativity, in celebration of our friend KJ who's a psychotherapist and this amazing healer. Most of us just came off of one of her sessions she did with us a gathering. We had a gathering of creativity and compassion. So with that, I looked up the word art. And it's weird because I've been an artist most of my life, but everyone always freaks out on the [00:01:00] definition of it.</p>
<p> I'm a photographer and a lot of people don't consider that art.  I found that very bizarre, but here's what it is. It's a noun, the expression or application of human, creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or a sculpture producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.</p>
<p>Do you see that it doesn't even put music in there or poetry?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:30] I was going to call that out right away.</p>
<p>Yeah. Um, or dance, I mean, or literature, which is poetry too. I mean, definitions are very weird. And also how we define ourselves, how we define our societies, how we define our self-worth how we define everything.</p>
<p>I mean, my goodness, there's so much, there's so much. And so let's start off with KJ KJ. [00:02:00] Please tell everyone out there what we just went through like our, about our gathering. That didn't sound right. Tell everyone about our session with you because I went through a lot. I really went through a lot. I'm still trying to understand what the heck happened with my head.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:02:19] Oh, um, goodness. Well, thank you. By the way, for inviting me to speak a little bit about it.  The gathering that we just experienced earlier today was my invitation for folks to actually first define and identify what they do believe art and expression and compassion mean. And what I found over the years  of doing this research is that what you highlighted when we started this episode, Fawn is that there are clear cut definitions that we [00:03:00] have definitely embraced and I was curious as to where that came from and the hope of this gathering these meetings are to help folks redefine. So identify what we believe is creativity and expression and health and, and art and compassion and self care.  And then maybe redefine with our new and  current ways of being.</p>
<p>And I encourage it from an embodied sense. So the way that we wrapped up our meeting was, I asked people what they notice in their bodies first, how they are right now in the moment aft...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What are the guiding emotions of our society are right now? What did we do when we had no parameters of time when we were children; when there were no instructions other than to go and do? Who is the real you? What does it mean to feel like YOU? When did you feel most like YOU? What are some examples of “Happy Places”? What are the words, sounds, colors, scents, movements associated with your place of honor and happiness?
What is the true definition of art? What are some ways to express what is in our realm of life and can we get key insights that are right before our eyes that we may have been oblivious to?
This roundtable comes from a gathering session (one of KJ’s wonderful online courses) led by our brilliant KJ Nasrul where she guided us through our emotions using art. What transpired was this roundtable discussing in depth the art of creativity and compassion. KJ provides guidance and support for this very healing episode.
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everybody. Welcome to connected where we are all interconnected and we're finding out ways in which we are. Today we have our beautiful friends. We have Paul ,Beth, Katy, and KJ today.
Matt: [00:00:17]  AND Matt! 
Fawn: [00:00:18] I'm sorry, babe. I'm sorry. Matt is here too. Everybody .Love is winning.  Today we are focusing on compassion, expression, emotion, creativity, in celebration of our friend KJ who's a psychotherapist and this amazing healer. Most of us just came off of one of her sessions she did with us a gathering. We had a gathering of creativity and compassion. So with that, I looked up the word art. And it's weird because I've been an artist most of my life, but everyone always freaks out on the [00:01:00] definition of it.
 I'm a photographer and a lot of people don't consider that art.  I found that very bizarre, but here's what it is. It's a noun, the expression or application of human, creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or a sculpture producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.
Do you see that it doesn't even put music in there or poetry?
Matt: [00:01:30] I was going to call that out right away.
Yeah. Um, or dance, I mean, or literature, which is poetry too. I mean, definitions are very weird. And also how we define ourselves, how we define our societies, how we define our self-worth how we define everything.
I mean, my goodness, there's so much, there's so much. And so let's start off with KJ KJ. [00:02:00] Please tell everyone out there what we just went through like our, about our gathering. That didn't sound right. Tell everyone about our session with you because I went through a lot. I really went through a lot. I'm still trying to understand what the heck happened with my head.
KJ: [00:02:19] Oh, um, goodness. Well, thank you. By the way, for inviting me to speak a little bit about it.  The gathering that we just experienced earlier today was my invitation for folks to actually first define and identify what they do believe art and expression and compassion mean. And what I found over the years  of doing this research is that what you highlighted when we started this episode, Fawn is that there are clear cut definitions that we [00:03:00] have definitely embraced and I was curious as to where that came from and the hope of this gathering these meetings are to help folks redefine. So identify what we believe is creativity and expression and health and, and art and compassion and self care.  And then maybe redefine with our new and  current ways of being.
And I encourage it from an embodied sense. So the way that we wrapped up our meeting was, I asked people what they notice in their bodies first, how they are right now in the moment aft...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED – Roundtable #5 – The Art of Creativity and Compassion]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>5</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What are the guiding emotions of our society are right now? What did we do when we had no parameters of time when we were children; when there were no instructions other than to go and do? Who is the real you? What does it mean to feel like YOU? When did you feel most like YOU? What are some examples of “Happy Places”? What are the words, sounds, colors, scents, movements associated with your place of honor and happiness?</p>
<p>What is the true definition of art? What are some ways to express what is in our realm of life and can we get key insights that are right before our eyes that we may have been oblivious to?</p>
<p>This roundtable comes from a gathering session (one of KJ’s wonderful online courses) led by our brilliant KJ Nasrul where she guided us through our emotions using art. What transpired was this roundtable discussing in depth the art of creativity and compassion. KJ provides guidance and support for this very healing episode.</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everybody. Welcome to connected where we are all interconnected and we're finding out ways in which we are. Today we have our beautiful friends. We have Paul ,Beth, Katy, and KJ today.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:17]  AND Matt! </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:18] I'm sorry, babe. I'm sorry. Matt is here too. Everybody .Love is winning.  Today we are focusing on compassion, expression, emotion, creativity, in celebration of our friend KJ who's a psychotherapist and this amazing healer. Most of us just came off of one of her sessions she did with us a gathering. We had a gathering of creativity and compassion. So with that, I looked up the word art. And it's weird because I've been an artist most of my life, but everyone always freaks out on the [00:01:00] definition of it.</p>
<p> I'm a photographer and a lot of people don't consider that art.  I found that very bizarre, but here's what it is. It's a noun, the expression or application of human, creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or a sculpture producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.</p>
<p>Do you see that it doesn't even put music in there or poetry?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:30] I was going to call that out right away.</p>
<p>Yeah. Um, or dance, I mean, or literature, which is poetry too. I mean, definitions are very weird. And also how we define ourselves, how we define our societies, how we define our self-worth how we define everything.</p>
<p>I mean, my goodness, there's so much, there's so much. And so let's start off with KJ KJ. [00:02:00] Please tell everyone out there what we just went through like our, about our gathering. That didn't sound right. Tell everyone about our session with you because I went through a lot. I really went through a lot. I'm still trying to understand what the heck happened with my head.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:02:19] Oh, um, goodness. Well, thank you. By the way, for inviting me to speak a little bit about it.  The gathering that we just experienced earlier today was my invitation for folks to actually first define and identify what they do believe art and expression and compassion mean. And what I found over the years  of doing this research is that what you highlighted when we started this episode, Fawn is that there are clear cut definitions that we [00:03:00] have definitely embraced and I was curious as to where that came from and the hope of this gathering these meetings are to help folks redefine. So identify what we believe is creativity and expression and health and, and art and compassion and self care.  And then maybe redefine with our new and  current ways of being.</p>
<p>And I encourage it from an embodied sense. So the way that we wrapped up our meeting was, I asked people what they notice in their bodies first, how they are right now in the moment after we moved through a series of exercises and it included movement and  visual work, dialoguing, and then also sound and music.</p>
<p> Our wonderful friend, Paul who's here today as well, played a little music for us.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:56] It was so beautiful. It was so pretty, Paul</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:03:59] beautiful. [00:04:00] And it was a way for us to, again, like I said, redefine or maybe change the way that we had been in, approaching, the way that we are compassionate, creative, expressive, and artistic in our own lives.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:16] You brought up some words and you had us  free flow, free flow draw, and we will only have three seconds. So you  give us a word and we have three seconds to create a shape or something; an expression.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:04:31] Yes. And I had given a couple of instructions because I saw sort of a panic come across a couple of people's.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:38] Did you see it? Did you see it? I did. Cause I was feeling it too. I thought it was just me. Oh no.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:04:47] Um, that is one of the cool things about  these sessions or these video sessions is I could see everybody and I could see like this flit of panic across people's faces when I said, so pull out your writing utensils are drawing utensils and we're going to draw.</p>
<p>[00:05:00] And I just kind of saw, saw this pause. Yeah. But then when I said, no, it's not drawing in the sense that we used to know it. I'm just asking for you to respond with marks on your paper. And I said, and you have three seconds to do it. Just your initial reactive response. Don't think about it. What is your pencil do?</p>
<p>What is your marker? Do, what is your paint brush do if you had a paintbrush and  because it was such a short period of time of reaction these were small pictures or just marks and that's how I guided it as well as just to say, don't put so much pressure on it and we don't have a lot of time.</p>
<p>What's your initial instinctive reaction?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:41] It was so great. And it was so great that it was only three seconds and I had a tiny, tiny little sketchbook, like it's three inches high and two inches wide. And I was well, a little bit bigger than that, but it's interesting because one of the words, um, [00:06:00] I, it just, I, everything we did was tripping me out.</p>
<p>And I thought when I first started our session, I thought I've got this. I love this kind of stuff. I'm all over it. I'm so open. I know myself. And I ended up just like, I don't know, like I had a hard time in there. I mean, I had a good time, but I had a hard time if that makes any sense. So I want to bring up  the words that you brought up for us to draw with.</p>
<p>So the first one, it doesn't matter which one was, which I don't know if I have them in order, but we had fear, happiness, longing, or yearning, disgust, tense, joy, graceful song, them agitated, powerful. And we had cool. And I like for I'll just use myself as an example, but I had to  interrupt everyone and say, I need some therapy KJ, because I just realized [00:07:00]  the word agitated; I have two signatures in my life that I've had most of my life. There's one where I signed all my artwork to. And there's one that's  totally official for  legal paperwork and stuff, and they're totally different. And I noticed that the one for my art that I signed, like if I, when I have museum quality prints, I put my signature on, was exactly the agitated symbol that I made. I didn't even realize that. And I thought, what does that mean? And then I looked at the drawing I had for joy and it's totally joy and graceful. Those are my legal signatures. Like it looked the same. So that, that tripped me out. I'm like, KJ, is this why I haven't become a world renowned photographer, is because I feel agitated somehow regarding my work. Like, what is that about? And then you said, That's interesting because that same symbol I showed you for my [00:08:00] agitation was your strength or power.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:08:03] Right power, powerful.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:05]  I was even more thoroughly confused. And it's just funny how one symbol can bring about so much emotion and let's look at life in general.</p>
<p>This is just one symbol that created so much profound- like I wanted to cry, like I was having a breakthrough, but I was so confused all over one tiny little,  scribble, but like so much is happening in life. And so much is happening in the world. How in the world do we keep? Is this why we're all going crazy?</p>
<p>Is this why the world is in such disarray? Because if one tiny symbol has tripped me up and I feel like I have my stuff together, if that little symbol trip to me up. And we have  all these things happening around the world and we're all experiencing it together. And there's a dance between all of us, what in the world are we going [00:09:00] through?</p>
<p>How are we going to make it through KJ? Katy,, Beth, Paul, Matt. Is it just me? Am I just overwhelmed? And what happened?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:13] Day by day? Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:15] Yeah, but we keep putting things off. Oh, well, I'll get that tomorrow. Or I'll feel that tomorrow. Let me just not think about that right now.</p>
<p>And it's accumulating.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:09:24] I think though, taking the five minutes that it took us or so to go through that exercise of symbol and quick reaction to a single single word is very telling and it's a really good start. The fact that you sat there and  you were like, Oh my gosh, I recognize, I recognize the symbol and I hadn't made that connection before.</p>
<p>And just you saying, Oh my gosh, my signature on this is actually my agitation signature versus my signature over here is my graceful and my flowing joyful [00:10:00] signature. You taking the time to at least identify it and hold that space. That's key in my opinion, is to stop and identify and see what's going on in yourself.</p>
<p>Not that you have to understand it or have an answer for it, but just that you have it, that you're</p>
<p>experiencing it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:17] That's all you need is just to ask that, like, I wouldn't know what the heck is going on. I want to figure it out.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:10:24] It's a good start because those that are running around rampant and not asking, what do I need right now?</p>
<p>Or what am I doing right now? Those are the ones I'm most worried about.</p>
<p>Wait, say that again.</p>
<p> The ones that are not asking and doing, doing the,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:39] um,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:10:42] the research. Yeah. Asking the tough questions or pausing enough to say, Hey, look at my signature or, Hey, look, look at my initial reaction to this one word. I'm worried about the ones that aren't pausing you paused today.</p>
<p>And I know it did throw you into a place, [00:11:00] but you just asking did cause a pause.</p>
<p>If that makes sense.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:05] That totally makes sense. And it takes me to  what I have said for years. And I don't know, I don't remember who told me this, but they said be on the lookout in society when you feel and you see, no art is being created when there's no art. When there's no expression, you need to be very scared because something is very terribly wrong when art is not produced in society and</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:11:36] where it's all being kept inside or it's, it's, it's all being repressed.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:39] Yeah.</p>
<p>Yeah. Because you don't feel safe enough.</p>
<p>Like I say this about, um, just for my, as myself and what I've noticed as being an immigrant is that usually  the immigrants have no luxury of space or a time to be free-flowing. They are in survival mode. That's why, [00:12:00] when their kids are being raised in this new culture, they want their kids to do X, Y, and Z to make sure that they survive in this culture,i.e. become a doctor, become a lawyer, become an engineer. Boom. And that's how you survive. There's no luxury of space or a time to pursue the arts because they're in survival mode. And I feel like society when they're in a state of survival, it's a bad situation because  we're not sharing, we're not expressing, we're not allowing for compassion. We're not allowing the creativity. There is no emotion. It's all locked up</p>
<p> <strong>Paul: </strong>[00:12:37] till some, till everyone just blows up at the same time.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:40] Yeah. Until there was an explosion. And  by the time something is released, it's like a volcano and it could be quite disruptive. And I feel like is that what's happening around the world right now? Is that the virus? Is everything we're going through, I mean, from the earth to people's emotions, to [00:13:00] viruses, is it an explosion and eruption of everything that was never really seen expressed?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:13:07] It's interesting as well. Cause you know, like, um, everything normally comes in waves doesn't it? That's like the thought the idea of like the old mythology of yin and yang, the understanding of it and like the waves of yin and yang and explosions in theory with that, you know, they're, they're, they're meant to happen.</p>
<p>, which, I mean, for me having that outlook upon life makes me also accept the bad things that they're meant to happen. Sort of thing and it's, and it's out of my control and it's all part of the beautiful dance of life and the beautiful picture of this already painted sort of thing. And I'm just like watching it unfold and not letting that affect my emotions and knowing that it's meant to happen.</p>
<p>And also like, you know, life  is a beautiful creation and it wouldn't exist if it didn't have  the [00:14:00] explosiveness and the sadness and the darkness sort of thing. So in turn that darkness has its own beauty, even though its darkness and its sadness.  But just like looking at it like that really helps me not take it on board too much.</p>
<p>You know,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:17] Paul, I love that. That's like, that's how I try to be with our children.  If they have dark emotions, if they have anger, if they have fear, Matt and I always make sure to let that be okay. But I see how you see that for the world. You treat the world like the world is your child. And so any eruption or explosion or strife that is happening, you are just allowing it for it to happen because it's a natural process.</p>
<p>It needs to be expressed</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:14:48] like a child. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:49] I never thought about it like that. Paul.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:14:52] I never thought about it. I thinking I'm seeing it as a child. That's interesting.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:57] You play. You're just like, as a parent, you're just allowing it to happen [00:15:00] instead of trying to control it and say, no volcano, don't explode.</p>
<p>You know, let's not talk about this. You guys, let's not talk about politics. Let's not do that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:11] Right. Which in turn starts to invalidate those emotions. I mean, just because you have negative emotions, doesn't, you know, you should express them because if you don't, you end up with a, what is it? Um, What is it?</p>
<p>The Tibetan monks app. Oh, diabetes, you end up with diabetes. If you repress all your negative emotions too much.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:32] This comes from Dr. Martinez, who I studied. I love this person so much. He, he studied, he followed around Tibetan monks and he's obviously a doctor and he realized that the population around the world that has the highest case of diabetes are Tibetan monks.</p>
<p>And it's because, yeah. Oh Katy yeah. Um, it's because, Oh, let's see. I don't know if</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:56] he believes it's because</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:58] no, he researched it. They [00:16:00] all researched it. So I, and I don't have my notes in front of me, so I don't have the like specifics of like the particular part of the body that creates insulin and like how all that works.</p>
<p>I have it all written down, but basically what, what happens is that when you see an injustice in the world. When you see, for example, like with the Tibetan monks, your brothers and sisters killed right in front of you. When you see such injustice, you see that and you go straight immediately to love and compassion, no matter what, you're not allowing yourself to feel the rage.</p>
<p>When you go straight to love and compassion meditation, it disrupts some, it, it disrupts your body and your body knows that is total BS. Right? And so the, it involves the, um, it, [00:17:00] uh, I have it all written down. I don't know. I don't want to say, cause I don't want to get it wrong, but basically it creates diabetes, insulin, and it, that all gets affected.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:17:11] I'm</p>
<p>kind of guessing because maybe because, cause your body, like you said, is classing it as BS, so it can create body stress, which then fatigues the adrenal glands and  screws up  your pancreas and your liver. Um, cause it puts like byproducts or like adrenalin and stuff and adrenalinis quite corrosive if it's all worked out and honest, which in turn, yeah, it gives you, um, if you've got a slacking liver and pancreas, then your insulin isn't, um, coming out as much.</p>
<p>And also, um, it's working harder to break down other stuff like fats and stuff like that. And I mean, Indians eat less fat. I feel as well as tasks got to have some kind of part to it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:56] Usually when you think of diabetes, you think, Oh, it's the overweight [00:18:00] people who have lots of donuts and French fries, but these are the Tibetan monks who were usually vegan vegetarian for sure.</p>
<p>You know? Um, so it's just, it's interesting. Maybe, you know, what I'll do is I'll find my notes and I'll put it in the show notes about Dr. Martinez.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:18:18] But I think what it's saying is that you need to express the range. You need to express the range in your, in art. Society needs to express the entire range in its art and its music and its science and it's everything. And as well as us as individuals.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:35] I have a question. What do you think the guiding emotions of our society are? Like, what if you could put into one or two words, like how  KJ had all these words, like fear, happiness, longing, yearning, disgust, tense, joy, graceful, solemn, agitated, powerful, cool. What word do you think best describes what the heck is going on in the world? [00:19:00] I think it's fear.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:02] Um, and that's a good one. I think it's separation, not loneliness. Cause loneliest has a component, but separation</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:10] Is that an emotion?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:10] An emotion and, I'm going with it as an emotion. It's just, it's again, it's a very nuancey word.</p>
<p>You know, I think that politically, certainly in America, there's a separation. I think there's a physical separation. And I think emotionally we're separated as well.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:27] And spiritually, the whole thing of you feel separate from a source, whatever source you want to call it, feeling that you're completely away from that.</p>
<p>Yeah, that's a good one, honey.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:19:38] Yeah, I think they're related as well. Like the fear creates the separateness sort of thing. For me, it would be also frustration would be my word and, you know, frustration of how people are putting, how people are having fear put on 'em, um, to create a separateness. I mean, [00:20:00] I think it's been, you know, on purpose, it's frustrating and people don't know the truth is line isn't it?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:20:06] It's right in there.</p>
<p>Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:09] Yeah. And a lot of people aren't feeling heard. A lot of people aren't feeling seen. These are really linked.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:20:15] I think people are like the, it's not an emotion, but tired. I think people are just feel like they're on this merry-go-round. Like, when is this going to end? When can I jump off?  When will there be normality and what will that look like? That uncertainty.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:20:30] To expound on that, I think it's also fear of what's going to happen in the future. What is it going to be like? Yeah. Like when is this going to be like, when is this going to end?</p>
<p>And then what's going to happen? Am I going to get back to my job? Am I going to be able to go on vacation? Am I going to stay healthy? So it's fear of the unknown basically for the future.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:20:55] Mine is a synonym kind of encompassing all of the words already mentioned [00:21:00] and very similar to Matt's, which is, disconnect and I see it as a verb, as well as a noun. There is an intention around actually deciding not to connect. And our group is called connected, which shows you how we're trying to instill some balance in that.</p>
<p>And then there's also the noun. There's just this idea of a disconnect. There is a separation there's like I, I spoke about today. There's a disconnect from our mind to our body. How do we connect that up again?  How do we see that they're related? Meaning, we are being compassionate when we give space for creativity and idea and, um, something that's outside of the structure. But there needs to be like this bridge. And so my idea is that it it's it's within us. It is within our physical Soma. And if we start with how we are compassionate and feeling in the moment in our [00:22:00] bodies, in our present moment, that can help us connect and reach out to see how someone else might be experiencing the same moment, maybe a different reaction.</p>
<p>But we are in this moment together, we are having a reaction for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:15] See, but where everyone else, I mean,  it feels just so very negative. My word separation has negative connotations, but all the connotations aren't necessarily negative. I love the fact that I have a separation with my family that we're able to be together all day, every day.</p>
<p> I read an article just this week that was talking about how dogs, dogs. This is like, The greatest time ever for people's pet dogs. And they're worried about what's going to happen when things go back to normal, whatever that means because the dogs are loving it. You know, I think that there's, [00:23:00] there's there there's a lot of good inside of separation.</p>
<p>There's a heck of a lot of negativity, but it depends on how you frame it. And it depends on how you go forward with it.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:23:09] Agreed 100%.</p>
<p> <strong>Beth: </strong>[00:23:11] I agree as well. I think I said the word tired, and that is negative. But I think with my positive lens on, I don't feel like, uh, we've talked  a lot about negative emotions that are unexpressed in terms of creativity.</p>
<p>And I think. I don't feel like I'm going to explode. I feel quite content and happy even though the world is kind of crazy right now. But I do wonder I am not as creative. I am. I feel like I'm a creative person, but I don't feel like I'm giving myself space to be creative on a day to day basis. And I do wonder what am I denying myself and others and what more joy more happiness could have if I just did that.</p>
<p>So I think not just looking at  negatively as we need to be creative, to deal with emotions, I think we should be creative [00:24:00] just generally, because that could create so much more blessings.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:05] That's why we homeschool honestly, is to keep that intact because, um, thank God we became parents because I really saw firsthand how babies, children come in with everything completely intact. They know everything. They are the ambassadors of love, the ambassadors of truth and expression. They know everything.  I would just look at them and there would be like a telepathic thing that would get transferred to me. Like, Oh my God, I forgot.</p>
<p>This is what it is. And it has everything to do with the creativity and the connection these children know. And as we get older, I don't know what happens. I used to blame schools, but I think it's even deeper than that. What happens. We get so calloused.  We [00:25:00] start doubting our source and doubting ourselves and even not realizing or remembering who we are, which is another question that KJ brought up today that I thought I would be okay with.</p>
<p>But it's thoroughly messed with me.  It was when do you feel most like yourself in the past month?  In the past three months? Where were you?  You can probably help me with the questions that you asked, because I don't remember KJ, word for word, exactly how you pose the question.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:25:30] No, you're doing really good.  I was asking, can you recall when you felt most aligned and most like you yourself, and if so, where were you? What were the sensations around you who was with you? And then I just moved through painting a picture or creating a vessel or a space for you to find yourself there again, but in the present moment.</p>
<p>So I moved to this through the senses. What do you smell? What [00:26:00] do you hear? What are you doing? What is your body physically doing in that moment? To remind that we can access this information right now, if we just pause and ask the question.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:11] So, and then you got deeper and you talked about the parameters of time.</p>
<p> What did we do when we had no parameters of time? When there were no instructions on anything other than go do it? And what would you do if you were told, go do it, go do something, anything you want and what would you do if you're not worried about a schedule or anything, not worried about time, what would you do as a child?</p>
<p>And that stumped me right there, again. I thought I'd be okay with that question, but I, I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was because we had our kids doing this session too. And I was like curious what they were writing, but then I didn't want to. I didn't want to spy [00:27:00] on their notebooks. And then I started panicking because I did peek over and I saw some words that frightened me.</p>
<p>I'm like, Oh my God, why is she feeling this way? What happened? And you know, I wanted to take care of her. I'm like, Oh, are you feeling this? Or, I didn't know the context of the word, you know, like, I don't know why she wrote that word, what she was referring to. I just, one word just popped out, but  I couldn't even, and then I'm like, okay, just focus on yourself.</p>
<p>Cause I had just told one of my kids, Hey, focus on your own work because they were copying each other and I'm like, okay, I should take my own advice. Okay. I'm just going to focus on myself. I'm like, I don't even know. Like I don't. How do you, what's the definition? Like when you asked,  who are you? I'm like, um, I wish I could have asked, but I was, I couldn't reach the computer to  type into the chat. But when I wanted to ask you, KJ, was what does feeling like you mean. Like, I don't even know what that, what does that mean? [00:28:00] What does it mean to feel like you, like, could you define it?  Because I was thinking, well, is the me how I show up every day?</p>
<p>Is that me? Is that, is it the me that I feel like I haven't achieved yet? Is that me? Is, is the me the one that came before I was born? Is that me? Which me, what is the, you, can you explain that KJ? Like, can we get into that? Well, am I making sense to me? What is the you, what does that mean? What, what does it mean to feel like you</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:33] or what does it mean.</p>
<p>I mean that's, I think that's a very fair question. I'm going to steal KJ's thunder for a second, but like when I go to work, it's literally like me putting on an outfit and playing a role. I am play the role of the technologist and I play the role of the good teammate. And I play the role of the curious and I play.</p>
<p>I play all of these roles, but I'm not really a hundred percent me. [00:29:00] I am the me  that's going to make them feel comfortable. Right. The times I am me are generally pretty solitary, to be honest, I'm generally by myself and I'm enjoying and I'm experiencing and I'm just being, and that's when I feel uniquely me.</p>
<p>Because I think everyone else has so puts so much on you as far as the things that they need from you and the things that,  you need from them and how to get them that it's very hard for me  in a non solitary environment, really, to be me.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:34] I feel, I feel like I've gotten, that's why I've gotten fired from almost every job I've had is because I was authentically me.</p>
<p>So like, how do you survive when you're a, you authentically and you can't switch when you can't do the code switching, when you can't, when you're ethnic, like me, you can't just switch and look different. Do you know what I mean? Like it just, [00:30:00] so anyway, so what does it mean, KJ? Which you were you referring to?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:30:06] So there's one way that you can help identify or at least get a little closer to it, which is,  compare yourself when you are most tense, most anxious, most uncomfortable. And I know that sounds really odd, but to actually in the same way of like muscle tightening and muscle progression, like if I ask you to tense and squish your shoulders up to your ears for two to three seconds, and then relax for two, three seconds, the relaxed ease, that is the natural.</p>
<p>So when you go in an extreme and you're one way specifically, and then you release out of it and relax out of it, that is where you're resting place is. That, I'm willing to wager is closer to your natural YOU-NESS. Then this, but a lot of times we don't notice it [00:31:00] until someone asks us, Hey, why are your shoulders up in your ears?</p>
<p>Oh, Oh. And so I wanted to say that Fawn, a, part of the real you is to be Fawn, the mother. So what you were doing in the session where you were watching and making sure your kids were okay, that is definitely a You-ness. That is a Fawn-ness </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:19] I worry about everybody. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:31:22] Yeah. Or you care and you want to make sure people are comfortable and, well,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:27] thanks KJ.</p>
<p>That helps.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:31:31] Yeah. Caring's a nicer word for that. Definitely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:35] And then like, so can we, do you guys want to express who your real yous are now that you kind of did it Matt right? What is the real humanity. You're a crazy ever. No, you're, you're a, you're a samurai Viking, heavy metal.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:52] There's so many roles there.</p>
<p>And who am I? I see. I would get lost in all of that. That's [00:32:00] that's way too much confetti being thrown up in the air. I can't see through it. I mean, I know, but can I express, not so much.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:32:08] I see.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:09] Oh</p>
<p>man, Matt just made a gesture that gesture where you point your index finger and your middle finger to your eyes and then point it to the other person.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:32:23] It went straight to my heart,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:27] but like Beth, people think she's like this quiet person, but when you talk to Beth, you're like, Oh wow, like we've had the best conversations.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:32:40] Yeah,</p>
<p>I'm listening. If I'm not talking, I'm listening.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:43] You're like way out there. I love it. I love talking to you so much.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:32:49] Thank you both. I love talking to you too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think the same as what Matt said when I'm in solitude, like when I'm meditating or when I'm in that gap between my [00:33:00] thoughts, that is to me, who I am, but kind of label that, you know, even when you get to that space, when you're really in the, now, I'm not sure I can define with words what that is apart from source or energy or I don't know.</p>
<p> That's when I feel like me, because I'm still, I'm just being. I'm not labeling myself. I'm not my body. I'm not my career. I'm not my job. I'm, I'm not. Any of these are the things that we label ourselves or other people label us. I think it's when I'm quiet.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:36] It's very interesting though, because you're very metaphysical and that's the perfect description of there's no space, no time, no thing, no one it's in that empty space where it all exists.</p>
<p>Like the way you just described yourself is all of all universes.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:33:54] Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:55] Everything.</p>
<p>When I look at Katy like, okay, so Katy is [00:34:00] our neighbor pretty much. Um, we've actually hung out in person. And so when I look at Katy, who she is, to me is open armed. When you're looking at Katy's face her eyes, emanate this, open, ready to help you, ready to hold you knowing with true wisdom, what you need. That's Katie, but I'm curious how you see yourself.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:34:27] Oh, that's really hard also because when I first thought of it, you know, it's like, okay, I'm a mother, a wife, a grandmother, and then, but I'm so much other than that. And other times when you're by yourself, when I'm out walking, when I'm in the garden, I think that's like this morning I was out planting some arugula seeds and it just took me no time at all, but I felt so happy.</p>
<p>And I felt like that's when I myself is when I'm happy doing things that, make me feel [00:35:00] happy and at peace and relaxed. So I think maybe that's it. It's, it's a hard thing to pinpoint because there's so many different times  when I'm myself in different situations,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:14] That... It's perfect. I love all these answers.</p>
<p>And now I don't feel so strange because I really couldn't answer that question when it was posed in our session with KJ. I couldn't do it, but KJ, pray tell about you. Um,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:35:29] well, when we met earlier today, I, I really felt that the way and how Paul plays his music, I, I started playing a little piano and that's just to let you know where I was in the moment.</p>
<p>And then Paul joined me and it was lovely. And, and then I sort of receded into the background and Paul continued to share what was present for him in the form of music. [00:36:00] And I honestly felt like that described me being truly me when I am surrounded by sound and near the water. You'd mentioned this to Fawn and in our session earlier  that you need to be near the water, or when you were a kid, at least you were near water.</p>
<p>And I remember that about you. We both have a great love for the ocean. And so I certainly can say that when I am near the ocean and it's a moving body of water lakes, they're nice too. But my water to me feels most comforting when it's in movement. And so I can best describe it as when I am in those elements or within those elements, music sound and moving water.</p>
<p>And what am I doing in those moments? I'm usually very still. So I feel most like myself when I'm still and surrounded by soothing fluid water.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:58] It's  so great [00:37:00] to hear everyone else's explanations because I feel better because when you pose that question in the session, I saw everyone making these beautiful gestures and dancing.</p>
<p>I'm like, well, I don't feel like that is something wrong with me. Like, I don't want to move because in my, in my happy place, in my, you know, being myself, I'm like completely still, like, I don't want to move like that. And then I feel like, Oh man, I have to go to the gym. Like, I don't</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:31] know what I mean, do I have to go to the gym to be in my happy place?</p>
<p>Really? Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:35] Well, because I saw everybody else moving and using their bodies. I'm like, okay. I don't want to really do that. And I felt wrong. I was like, I'm so wrong. I haven't just wrong all the time. This horrible. I suck. Um, but in hearing all of your answers, I'm like, Oh, me too. Okay. So that's okay. [00:38:00] I'm okay.</p>
<p>I'm</p>
<p>okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:01] So wait a second. So to psychoanalyze you, so the only way you can be okay with you is when you're part of a group.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:12] I don't know. I don't know.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:14] Woof.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:14] No, that's not what I said though.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:38:17] It's because, we're all one, Matt!,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:20] no, no, no, no. And I agree with that, actually. It's a whole other story we could get. Nevermind. We can't get to.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:25] What are you trying to get at?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:26] I d did did..I don't know?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:28] Are you trying to pick a fight with me?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:29] Me??</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:29] No, I seriously don't know what you're getting at.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:34] Oh, it's just a part of, I think the core of me being me is kind of not giving a hoot what anybody else thinks about.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:44] Here's the thing when you've been fired from most of the jobs you've had, when you can't make it in your career to the level you have sought after for your entire life like me, you start asking those questions and you start thinking, well, I [00:39:00] must be such an odd ball.</p>
<p>I am so always the one odd person out, you know, I'm always the other, I'm the one who falls in the cracks. So yeah, best believe when I hear someone else is feeling like me, for once in my life, I can be like, Oh, so I'm not so separated is what I'm trying to say. Does that come across? Or am I sounding like, I just want to just be people pleasing, whatever you are.</p>
<p>It is what, what it is you're insinuating.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:32] I'm just going to sit here and smirk at you, darlin.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:34] Why are -you doing, why are you so mean to me today? What is your problem?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:38] I'll be quiet now.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:39] No, I hate it. When he gets quiet. It makes me nuts. That's just makes me crazy.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:39:48] Yeah. Relating. Relating is good. Relating is great.</p>
<p>Isn't it? Um, you know, it's the same of like sympathetic striking. How many from [00:40:00] Matt</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:02] slowly</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:40:03] with my addiction. Yeah. So the best person to relate to me that got me out of my addiction was talking to another addict. And relating to people in the same mind, ways relate is beautiful. And I also like, you know, so that that's beautiful too for healing and stuff. And I think, how everyone was talking about, Matt said the word source.</p>
<p>Yeah. And then Katy was on about like peace and stuff like that. And when I connect to my source, I find that peace. And it's in the stillness that everyone else is talking about and stuff like this. Um, and, uh, mine for my birthday, so every other birthday I've ever had part from the ones if I got sober, I would always get as, as, uh, messy as I could, you know, and then this year we were in England and then it was in the middle of December, it was freezing cold.</p>
<p>And then me and my mates, we went to the pub. They, um, were all [00:41:00] sober. Which is bonkers to think of in England. Um, and they, you know, we had a lovely little meal with a cake that came out and then we went swimming in the ocean, um, you know, in the middle of December. And it's like, it's just like a celebration of life, you know?</p>
<p>And then when you're out there, you're, I wasn't thinking about anything and I was connecting to that source or my higher power or whatever you want to call it, the universe sort of thing. And in that stillness, and just in that moment, that moment of peace, which the beautiful thing about  meditation is, um, is, you know, that those moments where we lose all the attachment of the earth and we go back to that source and to that piece is so impossible to find on apart from such rare occasions on this earth, um, through meditation,  you can sustain that and prolong it and go into it even deeper. That's the beautiful thing about meditation is really healing and stuff. [00:42:00] Anyway. Um, I can't remember. Well, I stemmed from, but yeah, There you go.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:42:07] The relational piece is I think, where you started Paul  and I agree with that there.  Some of the shares today without  giving a way, any privacy, a lot of what you're just reflecting right now, Fawn and Matt in that, I feel most like myself when I'm with my tribe.</p>
<p>I feel most like myself when I'm interacting one, one gal even share that she feels most like herself when she is having conversations on the couch with a friend, or I feel most like myself when I am having human, physical contact. So how important are hugs and tactile touching right now? Especially right now.</p>
<p> I feel that I can relate to that as well. This to me feels like home. Having conversations with good people who want to be curious and explore and,   receive and [00:43:00] be reciprocal and give. That to me, I feel very much so like myself right now,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:06] there was one moment during our session when one woman was saying, and she started crying, talking about her happy place, was hugging people.</p>
<p>And that she hasn't had that because of what we've all been going through. And I looked at, I mean, it, it, I started crying and then I really made sure that I was conscious enough to look at everyone on the screen. And everyone was a little dewy eyed. Everyone was, we all, like, there was such a connection like immediately everyone was relating to that, even though most of us didn't say anything like that.</p>
<p>And that brought us all - . Like I felt like, Oh my God, in this precise moment, everyone is connected. Why is that? Is it because of what she's saying is, is it because she cried and that [00:44:00] was an open gate to connection? I don't know what happened, KJ. Like you saw it too, right? Paul, like everybody, like everybody connected, like we were all one thing.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:44:14] Yeah. It's a lovely thing about what you're saying. It's like opening the Gates being vulnerable, um, was like, I mean, for me, especially being quite, you know, British, we, we find it very hard to be vulnerable.  And my parents, they, you know, they'd been put up to not be vulnerable and stuff like this. So obviously when I suppressed that in, you know, this is why I love romantic films, yeah. Because I like a good cry when I watch a little romantic film.  It's my excuse to let it out. And when someone opens the gate, like you're on, about being vulnerable, everyone else is just like, they get to be vulnerable themselves. And also, you know, there's empathy, which is a beautiful thing. Empathy.</p>
<p> [00:45:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:55] That's perfect. So, okay. Um, moving it to, the next thing I wanted to talk about is two things. Quickly let's share happy places. And in sharing, you know, whoever is listening that may not be feeling it it's a good inspiration, like when I can't figure out where to go or what to do when I'm like just perplexed, it helps to know what people like to do and what people have seen out there that gives me inspiration to  find my own thing. So can I ask what your happy place is? I don't even know if I have one. Actually it's the bathroom.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:48] Oh dear. I figured it out. I just,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:45:52] I follow you. I get that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:54] I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the, the base chakra that's open. [00:46:00] I don't know if it's the water, but I, I talk about this on our podcast all the time that I get messages from the universe when I'm in the bathroom. It's a shower in the shower. In the bathroom. </p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:46:13] I do, in the shower..</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:14] Right. Because I think it's the water.</p>
<p>And having said that I'm with KJ all the way. You know, I used to live in Minnesota on the border of, uh, Minnesota and Wisconsin actually. And I was a fish out of water. I w I came from, uh, I'm a beach girl and here I am in Minnesota. And yeah. I mean, everything was very bizarre to me. It was another planet.</p>
<p>And when people are like, okay, what do you need? I'm like, I need the ocean. And, and so people were like, well, we have so many lakes. We have like 10,000 lakes. For those of you in the UK, Minnesota is known for the land of 10,000 lakes. No, that's not going to do, I don't want a [00:47:00] Lake. I need the ocean. I need the movement.</p>
<p>I need the roaring sound of the mother, you know, the ocean. And they're like, no, just go to the Lake. I'm like, no, like in Colorado, people keep telling me to go to the mountains. I'm like we are in the mountains and I'm terrified of the mountains. I don't know what's lurking behind there. Behind those bushes.</p>
<p>There are Bobcat and bears and mouse. No thanks. No, I don't know. So, um, I, it was to the point where when I did sleep, I would have dreams of the dolphins from the Pacific ocean diving into the ocean. And somehow through beneath the continent coming out of these tiny little lakes in Minnesota to say hi to me, and I would feel so sad.</p>
<p>Um, but. So my happy place is the ocean, you know, go figure here we are in Colorado. I'm like, I feel like I'm holding my [00:48:00] breath until we get back to some water God's sake. So anyway, um, that's my happy place. That, and also my love Matt and the girls and my friends, you guys, my happy place. Am I, is this a rerun?</p>
<p>Did you all already say your happy places?</p>
<p>All right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:20] No, no, no, not at all. When I was in college, I actually had a spot and I called it my happy place. I'm not even kidding. Um, so I would school in Santa Cruz, California, where the redwoods meet the surf and the whole back end of campus is just Redwood trees and foresty.</p>
<p>And it's all very, and I had a special spot in a ravine. I had a seat, it was green. It was lovely. Smelled. Good felt good. And that's, that was, I called it my happy place.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:53] Okay. Okay. Okay. I have a lot of happy places in Seattle. My happy place was the [00:49:00] troll. You guys, if you ever go to Seattle, you go to Fremont, you cross the bridge.</p>
<p>There are lots of bridges because there are so many bodies of water and there is one bridge in Fremont and it was Fremont. Right? We've moved so many times that. I sometimes lose track and I'll mistake. I'll put one name to a place that didn't have that name. So it was in Fremont, but  there's a, they called the troll, but it's a cyclop.</p>
<p>And from the ground to the, to the top where the, the freeway overpass is, the bridge is just the head of the Cyclop. He has one eye and he has this hand that's coming out. He looks quite menacing, but that troll was my happy place. One of my happy places in Seattle, I would go there around midnight after midnight and just sit there and just cry to the troll because I was looking for my true love.</p>
<p>Like where is he, buddy? [00:50:00] I'm all alone, over here. Happy place. Okay. Next who's next happy place.</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:50:06] I just wanted to make an observation that Fawn you have so many you places</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:16] when</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:50:17] you weren't sure where and who you are. I was just like, I just heard about seven.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:21] Really? This is why I need therapy.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:50:27] I'm just observing as you spoke about each of them. So I think you do have quite a few, you places my love.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:36] Thanks for saying that, because I feel like such an odd ball that doesn't belong on the planet.</p>
<p>So you saying that is a total healing for me. Thanks, KJ.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:50:44] You're welcome.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:50:45] Well, I'll go. Um, my happy place is the mountains. I love driving up in the mountains to look at the beautiful trees growing in the side of the rocks, which is amazing how they can do that. [00:51:00] And, um, you know, going up to, um, Fawn, you a die. If you ever drove on trail Ridge road, it's the highest road I think in the United States or it's just outstandingly beautiful. And if you look over the side, you, you could drop down thousands of feet. It's just so scary, but it's so awesome and beautiful. And then, um, like last fall in front and I went up there and we got out and we looked at the trees changing and the air was so crisp and clean and  noticeably different than what it is here.</p>
<p>And it just felt so clean and vibrant and beautiful, and you just couldn't breathe enough of it in. And the trees were just gorgeous and, there's just so much about it. It's and when I was an urban school, we used to go up all the time, identifying herbs and, in the woods and holding plants and digging up OSHA and.</p>
<p>[00:52:00] And it's just, it's just really fun and, and it's not scary cause I didn't see any bears and any wild cats or anything like that around.  So, don't be afraid to go cause it's really cool. And then the other happy place too, I'll have to agree with you. It's the ocean. I've been to the ocean many, many, many times, and I just feel, I love swimming in it.</p>
<p>And when we're younger, we got to go snorkeling in the Virgin islands. And that was the most fascinating thing. When you were a 10 year old kid learning how to snorkel and see fish that are colors of the rainbow and you could almost touch them. It was just awesome. So I totally agree with you guys on the ocean.</p>
<p>It is not like the lakes. I've lived on a Lake in Wisconsin for a number of years and it's fun, but it's boring. There's no really there's no sound. There's no fury. There's no, there's sure the wind whips it up and stuff, but there's no, [00:53:00] there's no life. There's no action. A Lake is very Placid and then the wind will blow it, but that's about it.</p>
<p>So there's no like there's no like energy from the earth there. It's just kind of there. So, um, that's, that's definitely what lakes are. They're, they're kind of boring. They can do fun fishing and swimming and skiing and stuff, but that's about it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:26] The first time I went snorkeling,  I put on the goggles and I put my head under water.</p>
<p>So first of all, before I put my  head underwater, without the goggles, I was looking around and I was in the ocean. Everything was very peaceful. There was not much wind it was really sunny. It seemed very quiet. There was no one around. And then I put the goggles on and then I went underwater and I screamed underwater because I had no idea.</p>
<p>[00:54:00] All these creatures were all around me within centimeters, all these fish. I was like, what? The, I could not believe the party that was underneath. Absolutely. It's crazy.</p>
<p>You know, and the lakes are weird</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:54:19] and then it can get scary as to when you see stingrays and barracudas, it's like, okay, I'm</p>
<p>turning around, but you</p>
<p>learn how to respect, give them space to</p>
<p>It's an amazing world down there.</p>
<p>It really is. I mean, but see that stuff doesn't scare me, but the rattle, the whatever's in the mountains.</p>
<p>That I can't see or can't see. No, thank you. No. Okay. But Katy, I would love to go up with you because I, I need an expert to tell me what is going on. You know, we took some classes with some Rangers when we moved to Colorado and I, I gotta say they scared me even more. [00:55:00] Like we went hiking, we went to the tippy tippy top of somewhere.</p>
<p>And then she was like, that's the continental divide. I'm like, Oh, it's a real thing. Like, I didn't think about it. The continental divide , because at precisely, it's usually around noon. Isn't it, Katy? How the weather changes all of a sudden. And we have the lightning bolts and the, the rain it's yeah.</p>
<p>In the</p>
<p>summer of the storms come in in the afternoon. Yeah. And you have to be careful if you want to go hiking certain areas, you have to go early in the morning. Um, because then the storms come in and then the lightning and you don't want to be out in the middle of a meadow in the storm,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:39] right? It's like all of a sudden night and day at noon, precisely you have to, if you're hiking, you need to be down.</p>
<p>But that's when , she taught us. She taught us so much, but one of the things that terrified me even more was she was talking about, have you all heard where the term out of the blue comes from? Do you guys know where the [00:56:00] term out of the blue comes from? So we're standing on this cliff and she's pointing or looking at the divide, the continental divide.</p>
<p>And it was a bright, sunny day, very hot. And all of a sudden we could see a layer of clouds coming over the divide. And she said, okay, when we look up in the sky right now, it's all blue. Right. But this is precisely the moment we would get hit by lightning. Oh my what. We, we better get outta here. Like why is she still talking?</p>
<p>Like, can we go? I was seriously panicking and she's like, out of the blue, the term out of the blue is you see those they're miles away, but those clouds can suddenly strike us with, with lightning or the lightning bolt where we stand right here. I'm like right here. Right? I'm like, man, get the keys. Let's get outta here.</p>
<p>God. Why is she still talking anyway? So that's where the term out of the blue comes from because [00:57:00] it's lightning from out of the blue it's from those clouds far away. Anyway, I digress Beth, where where's your happy place?</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:57:09] My happy place.</p>
<p>One of them is the library, uh, which might sound really silly, but uh,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:18] just Nope.</p>
<p>Yeah, everybody's agreeing it's not silly</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:57:23] quietness. And sometimes I would go and work late, like as business owners that don't always necessarily think, go work in the library. But I used to go because I knew it would be quiet. I knew there would be a table and a plugin somewhere I could put myself in and I will be surrounded by books or art. Some of the libraries would have like art galleries upstairs and things. So that is one of my happy places.  The other would be just like at home watching reruns of Colombo on a Sunday. That's my guilty pleasure. I love, I love Colombo. Um, [00:58:00] and it's always on when I need it to be on, you know, when you just want to chill out and you just sit down and you flick through the channels and Colombo is always on while he's in the UK., Anyway. I used to watch it as a child, like insane, like. Six year old child watching Colombo, but I just love it so much.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:18] He's a fascinating character you want, sorry. I'm sorry. I interrupted. He's a fascinating character. I used to hate Colombo until someone said, cause I said he's so annoying. And someone said, that's precisely why he's so good at his job.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:58:31] EXACTLY!.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:58:32] No, I think I learnt a lot about psychology or human interaction from Colombo.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:58:37] YES! </p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:58:38] I learned about and actually the way that he pretends not to understand something. I think I learned a lot about that. I think that told me how to interact with people.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:51] Have you guys ever seen the movie Colombo is in?? It was in the eighties.</p>
<p>I think it's called the "Wings  of Desire". Has anyone [00:59:00] seen that? It's one of my favorite movies. "Wings of Desire." Please see it. It's my inspiration for so many things I've done is that movie. But Colombo's in it too. He makes, he makes a, uh, an appearance and it's perfect. Anyway, wings of desire,</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:59:21] I should look that up</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:22] yeah it's really good.</p>
<p>It's about these angels that are watching over humanity and they can, they can hear people's thoughts. And, and guess what, Beth, these angels mostly hang out at the library.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:59:38] No way!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:41] They hear people's thoughts. Then they go down and  they put their hand on the person's shoulder. And so this person is having like a stream of consciousness that is negative.</p>
<p>And when the Angel's hand gets put on their shoulder and they don't know this is happening, but all of a sudden their [01:00:00] thoughts, their words start changing for the better. And then all of a sudden they're on the right path again. And then. Then the angel takes their hand up. They're good. The person's good to go.</p>
<p>And it's a love story. It's an, it's about an angel who falls in love with a human being.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:00:18] Oh, I think I've seen that. Is that, um, what Nicholas cage in it?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:23] Oh my God. Um,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:00:25] yeah, that's "City of Angels".</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:00:27] That's the one. Yeah.</p>
<p>' You're an angel and I'm a  human</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:30] angels in humans. And this is all in German and it takes place in Berlin and the wall is still up and it's just, it's, it's beautiful.</p>
<p>It's dark and beautiful. It's gorgeous. The cinematography's beautiful. It's just, the music is beautiful. It's one of those movies I love, but I can't really watch that much. Like another one of my favorite movies is "Cinema Paradiso". One note from the very [01:01:00] beginning and I'm just, I can't all the tears I have.</p>
<p>I'm dried up. I immediately start bawling, crying, but it's one of my favorite movies, but I can't watch it. I can't want it. Especially as a mother now I can't do it.</p>
<p> Favorite places.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:01:15] Um, so it was a mine. Mine is, I'm quite blessed.  Mine is where I live. So I live in Somerset, which is a County in England and think of like Lord of the rings. Yeah. So you have the Shire in Lord of the rings with all the little hobbits. They smoke their pipeweed and drinking their ale. And they're just like, you know, they have farm festivals where they rate what size pig you have and stuff like that.</p>
<p>So that's what we have here. And instead of drinking their ales they drink cider, and that's why they make ciders and Somerset in England.  They call it the rolling Hills of cider of cider of Somerset um, and, uh, we have, it is a  fascinating fact. So we have [01:02:00] like the most different types of clouds in the world in Somerset. Something like there's like 56 different types and we have 52 or something in England has 58, the most in the world. And ,Somerset has the most in England we get like cloud experts, come live it. I never knew thosecloud experts were panning, and I'm just like, you know, that, that meadow field of the rolling Hills with the beautiful sunsets and sunrises that come with all the clouds and, you know, having barefootedand the comfortability of the community that they're quite like, um, quite homey, like in the Shire  in "Lord of the Rings" and the way people dress is like how they dress in "Lord of the Rings" you know, like the little Hobbit.</p>
<p>It's just like,  it is a place of true, you know, a bit of heaven on earth truly fit for me anyway. Um, so yes, it's my home. That's where my happy place is one of my happy [01:03:00] places</p>
<p>I want to move there. I've always wanted to move there.</p>
<p>Yeah. Come move here.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:06] I tried, I lived there for two years on and off as a student.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:03:10] Yeah. You were you Guildford, which is a couple of hours</p>
<p>away. And</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:14] I lived in Guildford and I also lived in Cambridge and I tried desperately to stay, but I'm a rules girl. Like I, I can't break any laws or anything, so I couldn't figure out how to work there and do it legitimately. So here I am.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:03:34] I want to tag onto, I am a big library and bookstore girl as well.</p>
<p>I,</p>
<p>I could, while away hours and hours, days when surrounded by books and the smell, the smell of books.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:51] Matt always wants to go to,  secondhand bookstores, wherever we go, wherever we traveled to there, they, they hold such beautiful information about every [01:04:00] community libraries and bookstores.</p>
<p>For sure. Yeah. Well, to close off the show, I ask one question, what should we hold? What emotions should we hold? Do you think for our world.</p>
<p>Way too big of a question.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[01:04:18] Geez.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:19] Sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:04:20] Way too big. I'm going to say fun, huh? And I'm not going to explain it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:25] Okay, good.</p>
<p>We'll make it quick folks. Um, mine is, I always ask questions. I don't really have the answer to myself quite. Hm. What is mine? Um, love</p>
<p> <strong>Katy: </strong>[01:04:40] about happiness.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:41] Oh yeah. That's good. Yes, please.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:04:44] Hope.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[01:04:46] Oh yes.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[01:04:47] Joy.</p>
<p>You're so adorable.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:04:55] Self truth.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:56] Wow.</p>
<p>[01:05:00] Beautiful. I guess that's it until next week.</p>
<p>That's my, our new drum. You guys what do you think? Did you go? Yeah, you said fun. I'm sorry. See the way we're positioned with those podcasts. Like my back has to be to you because I'm facing the computer. Yes. Stop it. Stop it. He's trying to, what did he do? What was he trying to make those bunny ears?</p>
<p>Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we would do</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[01:05:30] that all the time in our family. We have many pictures of, of my son going like this to my husband and in pictures. And that's been a big joke in our family also</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:40] those bunny ears on the head. Yeah, God, that's what Matt will do that to the girls all the time. Since they were born.</p>
<p>There are baby pictures with those little antennas sticking out. Um, well thank you everyone for being so gracious and kind [01:06:00] with your expressions and your creativity and for listening. And thank you all for listening out there, we will see you next week with our round table. , have a beautiful everyday everybody and stay tuned. Stay tuned. We'll talk to you in a few days.</p>
<p><strong>everyone: </strong>[01:06:17] Be well, bye everybody.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What are the guiding emotions of our society are right now? What did we do when we had no parameters of time when we were children; when there were no instructions other than to go and do? Who is the real you? What does it mean to feel like YOU? When did you feel most like YOU? What are some examples of “Happy Places”? What are the words, sounds, colors, scents, movements associated with your place of honor and happiness?
What is the true definition of art? What are some ways to express what is in our realm of life and can we get key insights that are right before our eyes that we may have been oblivious to?
This roundtable comes from a gathering session (one of KJ’s wonderful online courses) led by our brilliant KJ Nasrul where she guided us through our emotions using art. What transpired was this roundtable discussing in depth the art of creativity and compassion. KJ provides guidance and support for this very healing episode.
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everybody. Welcome to connected where we are all interconnected and we're finding out ways in which we are. Today we have our beautiful friends. We have Paul ,Beth, Katy, and KJ today.
Matt: [00:00:17]  AND Matt! 
Fawn: [00:00:18] I'm sorry, babe. I'm sorry. Matt is here too. Everybody .Love is winning.  Today we are focusing on compassion, expression, emotion, creativity, in celebration of our friend KJ who's a psychotherapist and this amazing healer. Most of us just came off of one of her sessions she did with us a gathering. We had a gathering of creativity and compassion. So with that, I looked up the word art. And it's weird because I've been an artist most of my life, but everyone always freaks out on the [00:01:00] definition of it.
 I'm a photographer and a lot of people don't consider that art.  I found that very bizarre, but here's what it is. It's a noun, the expression or application of human, creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or a sculpture producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.
Do you see that it doesn't even put music in there or poetry?
Matt: [00:01:30] I was going to call that out right away.
Yeah. Um, or dance, I mean, or literature, which is poetry too. I mean, definitions are very weird. And also how we define ourselves, how we define our societies, how we define our self-worth how we define everything.
I mean, my goodness, there's so much, there's so much. And so let's start off with KJ KJ. [00:02:00] Please tell everyone out there what we just went through like our, about our gathering. That didn't sound right. Tell everyone about our session with you because I went through a lot. I really went through a lot. I'm still trying to understand what the heck happened with my head.
KJ: [00:02:19] Oh, um, goodness. Well, thank you. By the way, for inviting me to speak a little bit about it.  The gathering that we just experienced earlier today was my invitation for folks to actually first define and identify what they do believe art and expression and compassion mean. And what I found over the years  of doing this research is that what you highlighted when we started this episode, Fawn is that there are clear cut definitions that we [00:03:00] have definitely embraced and I was curious as to where that came from and the hope of this gathering these meetings are to help folks redefine. So identify what we believe is creativity and expression and health and, and art and compassion and self care.  And then maybe redefine with our new and  current ways of being.
And I encourage it from an embodied sense. So the way that we wrapped up our meeting was, I asked people what they notice in their bodies first, how they are right now in the moment aft...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Roundtable.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:07:13</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Blockchain - How Tech Can Empower and Change Human Beings -#3 Social Responsibility]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Tue, 25 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/blockchain-how-tech-can-empower-and-change-human-beings-3-social-responsibility</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/blockchain-how-tech-can-empower-and-change-human-beings-3-social-responsibility</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Blockchain #3  - Social Responsibility.</p>
<p> Our series on Blockchain and how it will empower people, with Prodessor Mostafa Purmehdi continues. This episode defines social responsibility and talks about how companies and countries have behaved (the good, the bad, and the really horrifying like King Leopold II of Belgium).</p>
<p>From Greenwashing to individual responsibility, to how beneficial it is to depend on entities like humanitarian and ecological groups to keep companies honest and if that even makes a difference.</p>
<p>How can we start now to have true social responsibility? We discuss ways in which blockchain is the key to ending human and enironmental suffering and injustice.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Blockchain #3  - Social Responsibility.
 Our series on Blockchain and how it will empower people, with Prodessor Mostafa Purmehdi continues. This episode defines social responsibility and talks about how companies and countries have behaved (the good, the bad, and the really horrifying like King Leopold II of Belgium).
From Greenwashing to individual responsibility, to how beneficial it is to depend on entities like humanitarian and ecological groups to keep companies honest and if that even makes a difference.
How can we start now to have true social responsibility? We discuss ways in which blockchain is the key to ending human and enironmental suffering and injustice.
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Blockchain - How Tech Can Empower and Change Human Beings -#3 Social Responsibility]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Blockchain #3  - Social Responsibility.</p>
<p> Our series on Blockchain and how it will empower people, with Prodessor Mostafa Purmehdi continues. This episode defines social responsibility and talks about how companies and countries have behaved (the good, the bad, and the really horrifying like King Leopold II of Belgium).</p>
<p>From Greenwashing to individual responsibility, to how beneficial it is to depend on entities like humanitarian and ecological groups to keep companies honest and if that even makes a difference.</p>
<p>How can we start now to have true social responsibility? We discuss ways in which blockchain is the key to ending human and enironmental suffering and injustice.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Blockchain-3-Social-Responsibility-full-edit.wav" length="362704234"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Blockchain #3  - Social Responsibility.
 Our series on Blockchain and how it will empower people, with Prodessor Mostafa Purmehdi continues. This episode defines social responsibility and talks about how companies and countries have behaved (the good, the bad, and the really horrifying like King Leopold II of Belgium).
From Greenwashing to individual responsibility, to how beneficial it is to depend on entities like humanitarian and ecological groups to keep companies honest and if that even makes a difference.
How can we start now to have true social responsibility? We discuss ways in which blockchain is the key to ending human and enironmental suffering and injustice.
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Blockchain-.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:08:32</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Hope]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 23 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/hope-9</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/hope-9</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>In this episode:</strong></p>
<p><strong>To hope is to intend with some possibility of fulfillment, to be optimistic, to expect a wish.  The noun form of it is a general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled.  All this is in anticipation that something will happen.</strong></p>
<p><strong>We're waiting on something.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Faith and hope are complimentary.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith is grounded in the reality of the past. Hope is looking to the reality of the future.</strong></p>
<p><strong>While everybody is really trying to live their best lives, you can't, you don't always, you can try, you can strive. But the world has a nasty habit of giving you the yin and the yang, the good and the bad, the male and the female in equal portions in your life. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down</strong></p>
<p><strong>We also talk about being vulnerable and how that is seen as weakness. We don't talk about any of this. And I wonder why. Is it seen as weakness? What is it? Is that we don't have time to even talk? Is it because there is no one around that's listening?</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>We talk about the work of Dr. Mario Martinez and how culture affects your health and one’s aging process. And it's all about belief; the belief system.</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>If we come together, we can create something that we thought was impossible. We can create a society that is peaceful. </strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> Matt says there's a number of different switches we need to flip as an entire society. Uh, I think one of the switches we need to flip this, this concept of scarcity that I can't have something because somebody else already has it, or because, or thinking that there's such a limited pool of resources that I have to somehow or another, get it from someone else. I have to steal it. I have to grab an opportunity away from someone. So this is a whole kind of thought of scarcity. And I think we also need to stay very conscious of understanding exactly what success is. Success is not a $50 million home with 10 exotic cars and et cetera, et cetera, and children in Harvard, you know, I think that that's certainly a measure, but it's not the only measure of what success really looks like.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Can we feel rich without the big mansion? Can we feel rich without the stuff?</strong></p>
<p><strong>Remember that pain loss longing that you go through has a beginning, a middle and an end, and you should respect all three, especially, hopefully the end, if it's something bad.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn and Matt: </strong>[00:00:01] Hello? Hello.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:02] I like how you smile when you say hello .Lately, I'm just like, hello.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:08] Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:10] Hello everybody around the world. Thank you for listening. Do you remember when we used to laugh? We would even start the show like in midst of laughter. I don't know if that's possible anymore.</p>
<p>Can we do that? Well, it happened again. I hope so. Hope, hope, hope, hope we talked about faith. A couple of shows back. We did a whole show, keeping the faith.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:38] Does that mean we're going to have to do charity too to be schoolhouse? Rock compliant?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:42] No.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:43] Okay. Fair enough.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:44] Sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:45] It's all right. I never watched schoolhouse rock.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:48] Um, I don't know. I mean,  what is hope? Hope is mostly used as a verb and  to intend with some possibility of fulfillment, to [00:01:00] be optimistic, to expec...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode:
To hope is to intend with some possibility of fulfillment, to be optimistic, to expect a wish.  The noun form of it is a general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled.  All this is in anticipation that something will happen.
We're waiting on something.
Faith and hope are complimentary.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith is grounded in the reality of the past. Hope is looking to the reality of the future.
While everybody is really trying to live their best lives, you can't, you don't always, you can try, you can strive. But the world has a nasty habit of giving you the yin and the yang, the good and the bad, the male and the female in equal portions in your life. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
We also talk about being vulnerable and how that is seen as weakness. We don't talk about any of this. And I wonder why. Is it seen as weakness? What is it? Is that we don't have time to even talk? Is it because there is no one around that's listening?
 
We talk about the work of Dr. Mario Martinez and how culture affects your health and one’s aging process. And it's all about belief; the belief system.
 
If we come together, we can create something that we thought was impossible. We can create a society that is peaceful. 
 
 Matt says there's a number of different switches we need to flip as an entire society. Uh, I think one of the switches we need to flip this, this concept of scarcity that I can't have something because somebody else already has it, or because, or thinking that there's such a limited pool of resources that I have to somehow or another, get it from someone else. I have to steal it. I have to grab an opportunity away from someone. So this is a whole kind of thought of scarcity. And I think we also need to stay very conscious of understanding exactly what success is. Success is not a $50 million home with 10 exotic cars and et cetera, et cetera, and children in Harvard, you know, I think that that's certainly a measure, but it's not the only measure of what success really looks like.
Can we feel rich without the big mansion? Can we feel rich without the stuff?
Remember that pain loss longing that you go through has a beginning, a middle and an end, and you should respect all three, especially, hopefully the end, if it's something bad.
Transcript:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello?
Fawn and Matt: [00:00:01] Hello? Hello.
Fawn: [00:00:02] I like how you smile when you say hello .Lately, I'm just like, hello.
Matt: [00:00:08] Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening.
Fawn: [00:00:10] Hello everybody around the world. Thank you for listening. Do you remember when we used to laugh? We would even start the show like in midst of laughter. I don't know if that's possible anymore.
Can we do that? Well, it happened again. I hope so. Hope, hope, hope, hope we talked about faith. A couple of shows back. We did a whole show, keeping the faith.
Matt: [00:00:38] Does that mean we're going to have to do charity too to be schoolhouse? Rock compliant?
Fawn: [00:00:42] No.
Matt: [00:00:43] Okay. Fair enough.
Fawn: [00:00:44] Sorry.
Matt: [00:00:45] It's all right. I never watched schoolhouse rock.
Fawn: [00:00:48] Um, I don't know. I mean,  what is hope? Hope is mostly used as a verb and  to intend with some possibility of fulfillment, to [00:01:00] be optimistic, to expec...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Hope]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>43</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>In this episode:</strong></p>
<p><strong>To hope is to intend with some possibility of fulfillment, to be optimistic, to expect a wish.  The noun form of it is a general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled.  All this is in anticipation that something will happen.</strong></p>
<p><strong>We're waiting on something.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Faith and hope are complimentary.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith is grounded in the reality of the past. Hope is looking to the reality of the future.</strong></p>
<p><strong>While everybody is really trying to live their best lives, you can't, you don't always, you can try, you can strive. But the world has a nasty habit of giving you the yin and the yang, the good and the bad, the male and the female in equal portions in your life. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down</strong></p>
<p><strong>We also talk about being vulnerable and how that is seen as weakness. We don't talk about any of this. And I wonder why. Is it seen as weakness? What is it? Is that we don't have time to even talk? Is it because there is no one around that's listening?</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>We talk about the work of Dr. Mario Martinez and how culture affects your health and one’s aging process. And it's all about belief; the belief system.</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>If we come together, we can create something that we thought was impossible. We can create a society that is peaceful. </strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> Matt says there's a number of different switches we need to flip as an entire society. Uh, I think one of the switches we need to flip this, this concept of scarcity that I can't have something because somebody else already has it, or because, or thinking that there's such a limited pool of resources that I have to somehow or another, get it from someone else. I have to steal it. I have to grab an opportunity away from someone. So this is a whole kind of thought of scarcity. And I think we also need to stay very conscious of understanding exactly what success is. Success is not a $50 million home with 10 exotic cars and et cetera, et cetera, and children in Harvard, you know, I think that that's certainly a measure, but it's not the only measure of what success really looks like.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Can we feel rich without the big mansion? Can we feel rich without the stuff?</strong></p>
<p><strong>Remember that pain loss longing that you go through has a beginning, a middle and an end, and you should respect all three, especially, hopefully the end, if it's something bad.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn and Matt: </strong>[00:00:01] Hello? Hello.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:02] I like how you smile when you say hello .Lately, I'm just like, hello.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:08] Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:10] Hello everybody around the world. Thank you for listening. Do you remember when we used to laugh? We would even start the show like in midst of laughter. I don't know if that's possible anymore.</p>
<p>Can we do that? Well, it happened again. I hope so. Hope, hope, hope, hope we talked about faith. A couple of shows back. We did a whole show, keeping the faith.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:38] Does that mean we're going to have to do charity too to be schoolhouse? Rock compliant?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:42] No.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:43] Okay. Fair enough.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:44] Sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:45] It's all right. I never watched schoolhouse rock.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:48] Um, I don't know. I mean,  what is hope? Hope is mostly used as a verb and  to intend with some possibility of fulfillment, to [00:01:00] be optimistic, to expect a wish.  The noun form of it is a general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled.  All this is in anticipation, that something will happen.</p>
<p>You're waiting on something. And I say, and if you look at it biblically, it goes back to waiting on God.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:22] I don't think I like the word. Wait, I like</p>
<p>the word.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:24] That's what I'm trying to say.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:26] Okay. Nevermind, go ahead.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:27] We're waiting on something. And usually biblically it's waiting on God, God, to transform something.</p>
<p>So my thing is we are a part of God. We are God. So really it's up to us to change it. And I've been looking into the etymology of hope and I read one thing  from etymology,  one site  said this, so  I can't verify that it's totally true, but I like it, it was saying that it comes from [00:02:00] a word curve, meaning to bend, but it's interesting, even if it's not true, even if I can't prove the etymology existence of this thing curve, in relation to hope, but let's look at it.</p>
<p>It's a change in direction. It's going in a different way. Right. So it's up to us. Let's create it. Thinking of hope, I was reading that faith and hope are complimentary.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith is grounded in the reality of the past .Hope is looking to the reality of the future.</p>
<p>Why are you looking at me like that?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:43] I don't like the word, wait,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:45] that's what I'm saying.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:46] I like the word, expectation. Expect it's not passive.  I had a very close friend and I used to describe him as an action word because everything [00:03:00] seemed like it had a verb. Everything had motion, everything had, and a wait feels like no motion. Expect, feels like motion.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:08] Intention is what I was going to get to next. But you know what? What was the word you just said?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:13] Expect</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:14] to expect means it's not there yet. So you have to wait. You're waiting while you're expecting something.  An expectant mother is waiting on the birth of the baby.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:26] Yes, but there's a general underlying feel to me personally, at least that it's absolutely going to happen.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:33] Right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:34] No ambiguity.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:35] That's actually the definition of hope. It's different than wishful thinking. It is the expectation that it will occur. But my point is, it's still waiting. You're waiting on it. So I'm saying let's change that. Lets veer over, over here and let's do something because the state of the world, the way it is, and this episode came [00:04:00] from a conversation we were having a few hours ago.</p>
<p>Yesterday. It was, it was I was just, you know, things are not looking good in the United States, no matter what the we've had, the change in politics, sort of, you know, we have a new president. Um, people were feeling hopeful for a minute for a second and it just feels like we're even more divided and things are just as crazy. What is happening?</p>
<p>And I know that United States, the United States is not the only country having turmoil for sure, but we tend to think we're the center of the planet, and we're the only ones going through hardship and you know, the only one, I'm the only one. I, and, and that's the problem. So yesterday we were talking about when we were kids, do you remember the first shooting you ever heard of?</p>
<p>And we, we both. Even though we didn't know each other. And even though [00:05:00] we lived in different areas of Southern California, we both went to the same instance of a mass shooting. And it was when we were little, it was at a McDonald's and when it happened,  as a child, it was extremely terrifying.</p>
<p>And I remember,  I had voiced concern about it  and being told, well, yeah, I can understand that being told from my father who was unemployed at the time. And you know, of course in our family, we're always going through something hard, hard times, but he said, yeah, I understand that. I understand that, you know, someone gets  pushed to the brink and if they're going to be taken out, they want to take on everyone else with them.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:48] And how old were we at this point</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:51] 10?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:52] Oh, you don't have a vocabulary to refute this or even comment on it and you just have to accept it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:57] No, I understood. I [00:06:00] understood. So being an empath and ever since I was a baby, I like, I think I had different thought forms. Like I was seriously, I came in with some, with some feelings and so I was always taking notes even as a baby.</p>
<p>I remember things from when I was in diapers, but no, I understood where it was coming from. And I understood his is what he said.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:24] It's not about refuting what he's saying. It's about no, maybe it is about refuting. It's about either. Certainly when I was 10, you know, anything my parents said, I, I, I didn't have a filter at that point to say, to get some distance from it.</p>
<p>That's all I'm saying.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:43] I had distance because I had to, to survive these people that I was born into. So I thought about it. I mean, immediately the first thought was, wow, I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way because obviously he was [00:07:00] emphasizing, right. Would that kind of thing, not that he would ever do it, but he was feeling so distraught that he could understand that.</p>
<p>And I don't, I don't think  it came from really a place of empathy. I really don't know. I really don't even want to go there, but it, it brought about the conversation yesterday. We were like, okay. And now, since then, that was like a one-time occurrence. It felt like when we were kids and I'm not talking about police brutality, I'm talking about just the other thing that is going on is the mass shootings constantly.</p>
<p>Every day, every day, every day, what is happening. And so we were like, okay, we always ask the question. What is happening? Why is this happening? What's going on here? And we came up, you know, we have the same theories we've always had for years, you and I. One of the things is [00:08:00] it's a time of eruption as it's a time of just volatile, discomfort and angst and, needs, not being met</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:11] and voices, not being heard.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:13] Yeah. The disrespect the disregard, all of that, if we're not taking care of one another, if we are saying, well, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of thing. When someone really, is in need of help and they are tired, maybe they can't and we need</p>
<p>to help.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:34] Right. And also, certainly when I get super tired, sometimes I'm not even aware that I'm super tired.</p>
<p>Sometimes I'm not aware of how badly I'm in pain until I have an opportunity to explode all over somebody or something,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:48] or unless it's the end. Right.  So</p>
<p>I'd to explain what I'm about to say.</p>
<p> So we were talking [00:09:00] and the thing is that when you're going through stuff and every single person is going through stuff, everyone. Everyone is in turmoil and  it's a cyclical thing. We're going through hard times, dark, dark times, and they can last for centuries sometimes. All right.</p>
<p>Right. So my point here with all of us here today, with our movement, our podcast, we're here to talk it out. We're here to actually create change and in invoking things and using our voice and expressing a thought out loud, I do believe it will dissipate and heal a wound. You know,  it's interesting because one of the other words I was thinking of is intention.</p>
<p>Another one is invoke. And of course I got into the etymology of these things. Did you know that intention is often confused with the other word intension? One is with an S.  One is with a T. Okay. [00:10:00] Intention has two meanings. It's an aim or a plan. The second meaning comes from medicine, and it says the healing of a wound</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:11] is intention?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:11] Yeah. And then intension with an S is the internal contents of a concept, one number two, the resolution or determination.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:23] It's interesting. And we certainly talking about Aikido all the time on this plucky little podcast. We talk about how a strike is literally a desperation to communicate. Right. And in Aikido we extend it. We don't interfere with it. We extend it. We respect isn't the right word, but we continue the motion.</p>
<p>We don't interfere with the initial integral motion to it. But typically when you extend a crazy motion, like a punch, it ends up with somebody falling down.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:10:55] So we're allowing it to flow.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:58] We're allowing it to flow, but [00:11:00] we're not allowing it to directly affect us negatively.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:05] We're guiding.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:06] Yes, we are guiding, but I want to make it very clear that in no means and no way are we accepting this blow on our body.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:14] Right.</p>
<p>So  from now on my intention and I'm invoking it, which is another word I wanted to bring into this episode today, invoke: to call forth now. In all the dictionaries, it says to call forth by incantation incantation. I really want to look that one up that apology or that, can you explain incantation to me?</p>
<p>It's very biblical. It's very like if I see the priest with a smoking thing,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:43] If we take a look at religion, if we take a look at sir John Fraser, Seminole work, the golden bow where he investigated B O U G H, where he investigated magic amongst the primitive peoples, an invocation has sometimes a verbal [00:12:00] component, sometimes a physical component and sometimes a motion, like moving your hands in a certain way.</p>
<p>Yeah. Different components go into your invocation, go into your quote, unquote magic spell, or your benediction in church or your, you know, there's all sorts of different components to it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:23] Absolutely. It's a recipe. First is thought, then there's the sound from your voice and then there's action.</p>
<p>That's how you create, right? So invoke,  means to call forth by incantation. The root of it,  going back way back. It's in gratis, I N G R a T U S plus  V O C a R E plus voco, V O C O. So that turns into invocare, I N V [00:13:00] O C a R E, which turns into envoquer E N V O Q U E R. Turns into envoken, E N V O K E N. And that turns into invoke. I N V O K E. So, okay, words, words, words, whatever. So what's happening is obviously we're not hearing the cries and  they have been happening for many decades now, right? And it's getting worse and worse and it's speeding up.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:35] Because I think people are hurrying things along.</p>
<p>People are agitating. People are building it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:42] I mean, as, as soon as the vaccines came out, we have had many shootings a day, every single day right now in other countries, if someone gets stabbed, it is a national time to mourn the whole country. It's like getting a paper cut from my perspective, someone [00:14:00] getting a paper cut and everything's shutting down and saying, we got a paper cut.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, mass shootings, many times a day, every day here in the United States. It is disgraceful it's disgraceful because we have not been hearing each other. We have not been taking care of issues here. And it's, I don't want to say it's just, of course it becomes a mental issue. We have it. We need to be treated like if you have health insurance, if you're lucky enough to have health insurance here, guess what?</p>
<p>You're not covered if you need to see a therapist to talk about something. We, uh, you have to pay a lot of money. So who has that? And the people that really need help, the people that really need to talk about something. Guess what, if you get to the root of it, it mostly, mostly, I'm not saying all the time has to do with finances, the stress of making money, the stress of not having a home, the stress of losing your [00:15:00] home.</p>
<p>The stress of, I can't pay this bill at the hospital. You know, and, and in our case, like many times ago, when Elle was born, I worked so hard to work as a photographer and I had some savings so that when we did have our baby, we would have a little cushion. Guess what that was wiped out because of the mistakes the hospital made. An entire savings wiped out because of mistakes the hospital made wiped out, no money, this, this kind of thing. I was just one tiny example, folks have here in the United States. And that's just one tiny example. And there's so many things that people are under duress for. So we're here.</p>
<p>We're going to talk about it. We're going to talk about it. We're going to let you know that. We're not alone. So the conversation we had yesterday, it was, [00:16:00] it started with, do you remember the first mass shooting we had when we were kids, which was a long time ago and look at the state of the world now in, within this country.</p>
<p>And why is this happening? One because no, one's listening. No one has the time and there's no structure. There's no ritual set up to take care of one another to be human. We're always working, working, working for what? We have nothing.  Most people are paycheck to paycheck, right? No savings, no health insurance.</p>
<p>It is ridiculous. We have low gas prices. I mean, we do compared to other countries. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:16:45] Fair enough.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:45] If you come from the UK and you come here,  and put Petrol in your car, you're like, woo. This is a great country until you have to go fix a wound</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:16:55] or you figured out how much vacation time you get.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:59] So, [00:17:00] and if you</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:00] live, wow, we are just Debbie downer today, aren't we??</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:03] I'm sorry. That's my fault. But I'm trying to get somewhere here.  That's the thing. Ooh, let's not get down. Let's not feel these emotions. That's part of the problem</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:11] No, I'm not saying we shouldn't feel the emotions. I'm just, you know, looking at it in the scope of the show,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:16] Alright, turning it around here comes the curve.</p>
<p>This is exactly why we're talking here. So what can we do beyond hope to create change? I mean, yes, we're going to have hope because I like this. You're expecting something to happen, but I'm not about to wait anymore folks. And this is why we're doing our podcast. It's about communication here and it's about figuring it out.</p>
<p>We're going to talk, we're figuring it out as we are talking. So questions. What do we do? Beyond hope to create change? We talk as we were doing so right now, and in doing that, we realize we're not alone. We're not alone. We're not the only ones. [00:18:00] Number three, even if only by thought our connection can create a powerful force for change.</p>
<p>And it's not just wishful thinking. When we come together, we actually create possibilities and it  just takes a few seconds guys. And just having a thought and having conversation in those few seconds, there's a transformation. There is light. There is. There's no waiting. It is here. We're creating change right now.</p>
<p>And that's what we're going to do today. We're going to keep going.</p>
<p>  So we were talking.  It goes back to the vaccine to the conversation from the shootings led us to talking about vaccines. It seems like everybody around us is getting the vaccines, everybody, but us and we're trying, but we can't.</p>
<p>So I'm like, wow, we're the only ones left out, like what is happening? And we're trying hard. We're  trying to do it. Right. And you talk to some people and they're like, yeah, I got [00:19:00] mine. Or you turn on the news. And then you hear about millions of people in this country who've gotten back vaccinated and are fully vaccinated.</p>
<p>I'm like, Oh, gee, good for you. No, I'm saying good for you. But at the same time, I'm like, I'm left out. Right. And so I called up one of our friends. I knew who had a vaccine,  it's Katie she's on our round table. My Katie, Katie, we love her. So she didn't just text me back. She called right away and she's like, okay, here's, here's what we did.</p>
<p>And I just want you to know there's so many of our crew from our crew, from, from the grocery store, you think these would be the first people to get it? the vaccine Yes. Certainly early. They're all still trying to get it right. Let me know without me saying, Hey, I feel left out here. I didn't say anything like that.</p>
<p>I just said it. What would you suggest we do? She's like, you're not the only one. We're all trying to get it. [00:20:00] And it's really a C R a P shoot. She said,  it's hard.  It's just hard. And a lot of people are still trying to get it right. And her just saying that it relieved all this pressure.</p>
<p>I didn't realize the amount of pressure I was feeling in not getting the vaccine. Right. It relieved it because I realized I am not the only one. One of our messages is we are not the only ones guys. You are not the only one feeling this you're not the only one feeling the frustration.</p>
<p>You're not the only one who is scared. You're not the only one. I promise you. We're all. It's a big circle of friends. We're not, you're not the only one. You're not the only one afraid you're going to lose your home. You're not the only one who's been without a home. We've been without a home.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:20:52] Do you know what I do every Sunday morning?</p>
<p>No, there is a site it's called post secret. And it's a place where you post [00:21:00] your secrets on little postcards and he posts every Sunday. He posts a new batch and sometimes somebody's secret is, um, I'm an atheist, but I'm starting to believe in God. Sometimes it's, I feel guilty for sometimes it's, I'm the person who, um, I'm a cashier and I'll ring you up differently, depending on who you are.</p>
<p>Some of these secrets are non politically, correct. Some are correct. And every once in a while, I read my secret on the site. Not that I've sent it in, but I read my secret on the site.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:41] You mean it's something that you observed crying again? I can't talk. So you mean it's something you have in you that you've not expressed, but someone else is saying exact thing you're going through.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:54] Exactly. And it reminds me that I'm not alone. And it reminds me that, [00:22:00] you know, while everybody is really trying to live their best lives, you can't, you don't always, you can try, you can strive. But the world has a nasty habit of giving you both the yin and the yang, the good and the bad, the male and the female in equal portions in your life.</p>
<p>Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:22] and we don't and this culture, I think it's a cultural thing. We don't talk about any of this. And I wonder why. Is it seen as weakness? What is it? Is that we don't have time to even talk? Is it because there is no one around that's listening, we feel,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:38] or is it something that, um, you know, you're only it turned into a, well, it, it, it always was a thing where, you know, your family stands by you no matter what, what, what, and we've discovered that this isn't always necessarily helpful, healthy or true.</p>
<p>And then we don't have any other mechanisms. Is it because [00:23:00] when we unload on a friend, they distance themselves because it's uncomfortable,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:05] they disappear.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:07] You know, it's, it's, it's a hard thing. It's a hard thing to hear when one of my friends is in pain, it sucks, frankly. And I can't imagine anybody would say it's good.</p>
<p>Um, and you know, I don't like feeling that way for me, but I love my friends.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:25] For me. I feel like we've been through so much that when a friend does reach out, I have to practically threaten their lives to have them talk, which you know, I had to do recently. And at th with a fear of like, Oh my God, they'll never talk to me again.</p>
<p>Cause I'm like being mean now. Like you better talk to me right now. Right? You need to talk to me? No, I don't want you to know. I don't want you to see me like this. Right. And so I just wanted to say, because I've been through so much because I kind of feel like I [00:24:00] can hammer it out and it doesn't, it's not going to take eternity to clear it.</p>
<p>So you talk to me and let me hammer this out with you and let me take your hand and we're going to walk over here. Right? And different situation change in perspective, a curve, hopefulness is there, right almost instantaneously. Right. And I'm not, and I'm not a licensed psychotherapist. I'm not a psychiatrist.</p>
<p>I am a friend,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn and Matt: </strong>[00:24:33] right? Well, I'm</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:35] not charging</p>
<p><strong>Fawn and Matt: </strong>[00:24:35] you money,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:24:36] basically, what Katy did for you and something we talked about on the show is, Hey, I see you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:43] And you're not alone. Everybody else is going through the same thing you are.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:24:47] Right. And sometimes it's hard because you're so emotionally connected to, whatever awful things are happening that you have a hard time seeing around, over and beyond it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:59] And [00:25:00] what sucks is when you go through hard times, you feel left out, you feel like the world is against you. And there are some sucky people that will suddenly disappear out of your lives because they can't handle it or they're, they didn't love you like that. And then what, what, this is all speak from personal experience when that happened, when that was starting to happen. Um, we just cut everybody off because people, people really disappointed us. So we're like, The hell with everybody. We're just going to go our own way and just walk it by ourselves. And with this podcast, we've had friends from the past, reach out to us and go, why didn't you tell me</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:52] that is true.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:53] Not just one. We've had a few. I know. Why didn't you tell me? I feel hurt that you guys were going through [00:26:00] this and you didn't tell me. I had a house here for you. I had, I had, I would have helped you. I was, I w I would have totally helped you, but because of certain mean, people or like, what do you call it?</p>
<p>Okay. Because people were hurtful. We just discounted everything because we thought nothing else exists. Oh, well.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:27] That, yes. And then also the, the plan we cooked up was very, uh, distanced. You know, what I thought was the best plan and maybe it was, I have no idea, but our best plan when we initially went through what we went through was, you know, parachuting into this new brand spanking new place,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:49] pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.</p>
<p>Maybe. Yeah. That's what it was. It's a cultural thing. Do it by yourself. You know, I always talk [00:27:00] about, excuse me, I always talk about Dr. Mario Martinez and he's the doctor that researched the Tibet monks. . And found out where the diabetes comes from and they're in their group. Right, right. And. He, when he talks about all the time is culture.</p>
<p>How culture affects your health, how culture affects your aging process. And it's all about belief, the belief system. So if you have a headache in the United States, you go and you get a pill, you take it orally. If you're in France, they give you a suppository. Do you know what I mean? Because they feel the headache is rooted in some other area.</p>
<p> My background being Persian when you're feeling homesick or when you're feeling heartsick, it's not the heart. It's the gut. Your stomach hurts is, is the verbiage that they use. It's about the [00:28:00] guts, the stomach. Do you know what I mean? So different cultures use different parts of the body, right? And so different cultures see things differently and.</p>
<p>And in our culture, it's do it on your own. You're on your own kid. You're on your own kidage eighteen, you're on your own. Uh, pull yourself up with the bootstraps, figure it out. The government's not here to help you. We're not here to help you. You need to do it yourself, right? You to move over here, yourself, figure this out yourself.</p>
<p>And you know what? That's an outdated way of thinking. It's it's, uh, I hear your dad constantly bring up Darwin and every time and I've stopped talking because he doesn't hear me. He doesn't want to hear me. Right. But Darwin, that was a theory. And he himself said, it's just a theory. And everybody just ran with it.</p>
<p> It is not survival of the fittest. If you look at nature where here it's a [00:29:00] cooperative nature,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:00] right? Right. Lions hunt in a pride hyenas hunt in a pack, wolves hunt in a pack,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:06] but the mouse actually saves the lion. It's not just a fable.  We've talked about this before on our other podcasts. But once again, you know, the Willdabeast, right? The hippos help out the wildebeest. There are signs in nature all the time. Animals that help each other out that you would think were enemies. So let's rethink again. What is really happening here? We need to take care of one another.</p>
<p>You can't label someone crazy. They're going through hard times. And most likely, those hard times were created by our own culture. Making fun of someone, degrading them, their religion, their looks. Look at how women are treated for example, Okay. I'm trying not to take it to race because we always get into a fight, but like [00:30:00] the way women are talked about, and now I'm hearing our little girls talk like that and it doesn't come from me.</p>
<p>It comes from what they hear out there, what they're reading in their books. Okay. We can say, don't watch no more television for you, but they're reading it in their books. You know, we think, Oh, as long as they're reading, it's cool. But like the popular books that they read, those messages are in there.</p>
<p>I'm like, I don't remember what they were saying. They said something about, they said "ewe" to a body part. Now, ever since they were babies, I've made it very clear how beautiful and sacred, especially the woman's body is.   I made it so that we talked about every body part in a medical way and a loving way you have the  proper terminology for everything.</p>
<p>You're not calling it junk. You're not, you know, it's, it's like w how old was Elle? She was a year and a half old. And [00:31:00] she was like saying vulva. I have a vulva, you know, like we went in when I was pregnant with Alegra and she professed to, she like commanded to the OB GYN that we had, who was a guy who was a man, you know, saying you don't have a vulva, sir.</p>
<p>You know, I remember a year and a half old. All right. I forgot where I was going with this.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:27] Um, the beliefs, the body is sacred.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:30] The body is sacred and they, something came up and we were just goofing around and they said, "EWE! Talking about a particular part of the woman's body. I'm like how in the world did this come about?</p>
<p>Let me tell you something right there. That's the patriarchy, I'm sorry. I'm so militant right now, but that comes from the books you were reading and guess what? It was written by a man [00:32:00] and they're making you believe there's something wrong with you. So we have to look at every tiny little, every itty bitty little thing in our culture and what we're picking up that we're not even conscious of.</p>
<p>And thank God they paused. Like you could tell when the kids pause for a second, even though they're giving you a dirty look, you can tell like, okay, I reached them, they got it. Right. So I let it go. But like, we have to catch ourselves with that kind of stuff. Catch ourselves with the things we're saying about what another's looks one another's lifestyles what we own or do not own, you know, forgive me. I don't own a Chanel purse. I don't, you know, we don't have a big house. We don't own property. We have a tiny little apartment we live in, but honestly, how much pressure do we feel because we are not landowners or we're not property owners [00:33:00] that we're at this age still renting a tiny apartment.</p>
<p>Right. There's shame in it. Absolutely. We are shamed in so many different ways. We're not even aware of, because we don't want to think about it. We're trying to focus on like the more positive stuff. Right. But it's very wearing it's, it's, it's exhausting and it's shame. It's creates shame and it creates pressure like, Oh my God.</p>
<p>And it creates nights of not sleeping because you, you tend to go down this line, like, Oh my God, What am I doing? Uh, um, you know, thinking about age and thinking about, Oh my God, how can I continue this constant working paycheck to paycheck? What if I can't work anymore? What am I going to do now? So anyway, that's when we come together and we realize we're not alone in that, that's what we can have a party.</p>
<p>You know, someone can bring a carrot, someone can bring an [00:34:00] onion, someone can bring a few cups of water and we could create a stew together. We can create a nourishing meal together, right. If all you have is a carrot stick. I mean, I shouldn't say it. That's all. Yeah. You have a carrot stick. Yay. You have an onion.</p>
<p>Oh, fantastic. Oh, you have water. You say, you know, it goes back to the whole story of stone soup. But if you look at that, If we come together, we can create something that we thought was impossible. We can create a society that is peaceful. We can create a society where we don't have to worry about going to the grocery store and getting killed,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:43] which would be nice.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:44] You know, in other countries, we look at that. If we pretend we're not us, we're like, wow, that's a war torn country right there. Right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:53] Yeah. No, absolutely. I mean, yeah, growing up Israel was constantly in a state of challenge. [00:35:00] Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:01] You always heard about a bombing on this bus or bombs here and there. I would tell you, yeah, you go to the grocery store, there's a guy with a machine gun checking you out, making sure you're okay to go in that store that you're not armed with anything.</p>
<p>Right, right. But check us out.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:21] Well, we're not there yet, but we'll know,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:23] but check us out. We have more violence and more destruction than countries we looked at going look at that. How sh how awful, right? Hello. So let's change, let's veer it over here. And the first thing on the list is talking about it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:45] Well, yeah. Step one is always admitting you have a problem for sure. And yeah, that certainly is a big problem. And, you know, we do have a problem in that we aren't seen when we're in certain, I guess, states.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:59] [00:36:00] It goes back to the separation. Oh, they, they have a problem. That person has a problem.</p>
<p>Right. That person is crazy. That person has a mental problem.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:09] Crazy. Cause I can just switch off now.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:12] okay. So, okay. All right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:19] So we've dug the hole.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:21] We've dug the hole. I don't know how to get out of this. What do we do, folks? Come on. We can figure this out together. Any ideas?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:29] Well, I think that there is a certain, there's a number of different switches we need to flip as an entire society. Uh, I think one of the switches we need to flip this, this concept of scarcity that I can't have something because somebody else already has it, or because, or thinking that there's such a limited pool of resources that I have to somehow or another, get it from someone else. I have to steal it. I have to grab an opportunity away from someone. [00:37:00] So this whole kind of thought of scarcity. And I think we also need to stay very conscious of understanding exactly what is success. Success is not a $50 million home with 10 exotic cars and et cetera, et cetera, and children in Harvard, you know, I think that that's certainly a measure, but it's not the only measure of what success really looks like.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:30] That's the conversation we were having yesterday. So it went from the shootings and our chain of thought led us to exactly what you just said that you always see is to strive, you need to have this big boat to, to strive and succeed, you need to have the Harvard education. You need to have this house, you need to do this.</p>
<p>You need to have that. And it's all about acquiring</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:56] and you have to be the best</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:58] and what we forgot [00:38:00] throughout all of this really, the only reason we strive for money and the house. It really goes back to having shelter and means in which to have a quality life.  Guess what, the quality of life has completely been ignored.</p>
<p>You strive for these houses so you can be with the people that you love under the same roof. You strive for those things so you can have great conversations and you can have a love and you can be together and enjoy  being a hammock under the sun with a drink in your hand, waking up from the nap and going swimming with your friends as adults, as children, having a quality relationship, having that love.</p>
<p>That's not what we've been striving for anymore. It's been the house and   it feels like everybody else is a [00:39:00] multi multimillionaire person with the big house, with the big everything. Right. If just looking online and in any kind of business you're in, I don't know if you've noticed Matt, but I have, everyone is teaching a course.</p>
<p>Everyone has this massive course, and they're showing you, you too can make it. You too can have this. Look at all my Lamborghinis over here. Look at what I've done. Look, I live here and I'm wearing this fabulous dress and I get to go to this hotel and sip these beautiful drinks and do whatever I want.</p>
<p>And then you feel like, well, I have nothing if I don't have that. Right. And I better figure out a way I can get into that circle. Maybe pray that I learn something from these people. So I too can have that. And we're forgetting the whole reason why we even would even want to [00:40:00] strive for that. And why are we striving for that? Because it's all a selling mechanism. There they're pimping it. They're trying to hustle. They're hustling to get your money, right? So you could have this life, you could have this life right now. We are your friends. You can have a fulfilling, wonderful human relationship where we could look at the sky together.</p>
<p>Or are you gonna charge me for that too? Probably if you live in certain cities where it's so polluted, you can't even see it. So you have to go over here to see it. But maybe we could look at a squirrel together. I always go back to my squirrel. I can't help it. We have some not scary. We have some very suspicious and very funny squirrels around us.</p>
<p>You know, they know what's up and they are funny. Yes, they are crazy in a good way, [00:41:00] but sorry, I just labeled someone crazy.  The squirrels are interesting to look at and  if you look at them and don't look at them, like how people say, they're like rats with  tales, they are so funny and they're so resilient.</p>
<p>And they have that intention that you could see their thought process where they're trying to go from point a to point B. I was looking at one. Right here on our little tiny deck over here. And he was inches away from us. We were the whole family, we were  looking at this squirrel that was our patio door through our patio glass door.</p>
<p>And I could tell, like he was just going, he was trying to figure out how to get to the birdfeeder</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:47] which is he'd have to take, he'd have to make a leap of faith. And he was unwilling to do that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:52] But I could see him constructing ways. Geometric shapes were shown in  the ether from his, from [00:42:00] his spirit.</p>
<p>I could see it. I'll be like, wow, man. I was just watching him going, Oh, I can see it, dude. Yeah, go for it. He was planning.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:09] I mean, he could, he could</p>
<p>certainly, no, he's figured it out. He figured it out yet. I think,</p>
<p>I think he wouldn't be able to get a good grip and he'd slipped.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:17] No, he figured it out. I think what happened was he went somewhere we didn't see. He figured it out, but he said, okay, another day. Cause he had gone through so many loops and so many trials that he was probably tired.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:29] He's ,he's going to be, we're going to hear a third on our deck.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:33] Yeah, probably</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:33] fair enough.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:36] What I'm trying to say is we don't need all that, what we need as each other, and what we have is each other.</p>
<p>We just need to realize that. And the whole gun issue now everybody's having guns and there are more guns than people in the United States. The thing is that I remember years ago when I was at the [00:43:00] therapist office, trying to get over the fiasco at the hospital, when Elle was born, you know, I was trying to get over, I was just trying to get to a point where I could explain to someone what happened to us without crying so hard I was not making any sense. Right, right. So I was in therapy and the whole issue of feeling safe was what I was trying to work out for myself. I couldn't even explain it to this therapist.</p>
<p>She wasn't really helping me that much. I had to just put myself in a situation where I had the hour to just figure it out myself and I was talking out loud and she was listening. So, which is what a friend should be there for. Why are we going to pay someone a fee? A friend is all you need. I'm not talking about in all cases, guys.</p>
<p>Yes, we need help. We definitely need therapists. We definitely need KJ for sure. There are certain things that they're privy to, [00:44:00] that we are not aware of because we're not in a situation where we're able to see something and they can point things out.</p>
<p>Right. Right. But one of the things was security. And at that point, I remember there was a very famous artist and he had been set to jail a few times for having firearm possession. So he was caught with, uh, with guns. Right. And, and so he was saying that he had them because he, that was his safety. He felt safer with the guts, right.</p>
<p>Until the guns were taken away from him. And he was incarcerated. All of that, which is, that's another issue right there. But when he came to the conclusion of, because of all the stuff that had happened in his life and things being taken away from him, he just came to the conclusion: I'm safe without the guns.</p>
<p> It's a spiritual issue. It's a mental issue. That he actually [00:45:00] could get himself into a state where he felt safe without this. Right. So can we feel rich without the big mansion? Can I feel rich without the red flowy dress flowing in the wind with a mansion, the background  in front  of the ocean?</p>
<p>Can I feel wealthy without that? Right? Can I feel safe even though the world seems insane, unsafe, right? Can I somehow get to a safe feeling and why, yes, I can .Just call up anybody and start talking and I guarantee you that voice will make you feel safe. I hope I'm making you feel safe right now, letting you know, you are not alone.</p>
<p>I am right here with you. I'm feeling the same thing you are guaranteed. Just like how Matt had that website, where people reveal their secrets and many times you [00:46:00] find your own secret.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:01] Right. And you also, it's, it's a weird, you get to be a quote unquote voyeur, and, and understand some of the, it helps me empathize because a lot of people record real pain that I maybe don't understand. And in some cases I'm like, Oh, is that, is that it? And not to trivialize what they're going through, but being so having an understanding that something that feels so overwhelming from an emotional state for someone and someone else can look at it and go, wow. So this is the heaviness that you feel, maybe the heaviness that I feel isn't, that isn't as heavy isn't as overwhelming as I'm making it out to be in an attempt to get distance</p>
<p>from it for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:47] pain is pain Pain is pain, right? Like. When I'm in the kitchen and I cut my finger, I'm like, Oh man, that's the worst pain. Why did it have to be there? And then [00:47:00] another day I'll burn myself over here. I'm like, Oh man, that's the best, not the best. That is the worst pain. Why does it have to be there?</p>
<p>It would have been easier if it was over here. The thing is when you have pain, it hurts and there's no better place to have it. Pain is pain. And it's overwhelming. I remember, you know, I've talked about this before, but there was a therapist who was a Holocaust survivor. And so her, one of her clients was like, I can't talk to you because you've been through the Holocaust.</p>
<p>Right? So my pain is not your pain. And I feel bad talking about my pain in relation to your pain. And she said, pain is pain. It's just as strong and it's just as hurtful.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:45] And I, I don't say what I say and as a method of like diminishing someone else's pain for sure. But it's a way of understanding that, um, pain comes from all sides and all angles and all understandings and, it's [00:48:00] not about, Oh, wow,  my troubles are very, very small compared to yours because when I was eight years old, my troubles were the size of the universe. And now they still sometimes feel that way. For sure. And even though I can look back at my eight year old, it's like looking back at your eight year old self and going, wow, you had a really mellow time really</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:23] and yet not right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:24] But it certainly didn't feel that way at the time for certainly</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:27] it does not. And which brings me to this other thing. We were watching the Billie Eilish documentary. What was it called? There was a Billy Eilish did a document. I don't know, is it called a documentary?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:40] I called it a documentary. It was on Apple and like it's murky feelings or something.</p>
<p>It was done. She's like 18, 19 at the end of it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:48:51] It's her family I think recording everything like footage while she was a lot of, it was for sure. It was just a home videos [00:49:00] and it was the backstory, like going through the life of Billie Eilish</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:05] and not being familiar with Billie Eilish I just kind of thought it would be this very light hearted, very open, very much like, wow. Watch the arc of her success because it starts with her at 13 having her song on the radio.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:21] So adorable. But no, here's the thing. Billie Eilish's songs like, so, the girls and I are big fans of Billie Eilish, big fans love.</p>
<p>You're a heavy metal guy who is very scornful of any other kind of music, it feels like I know you're not, but God forbid, we're like, woo. We're dancing to this song. You're like that. And he's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:42] falling in love with English folks. So please, cause I'm always like full judgmental</p>
<p>Hells. Yes, I am</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:49] just too much.</p>
<p>Okay. So it's the three of us over here where huge Billie Eilish fans and her music is very sad. It is because [00:50:00] she is  sad. .</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:00] Yeah. And, and, and here we go. So I'll play devil's advocate. She's a multimillionaire. She's</p>
<p>a star.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:06] Stop it. Stop it. But remember, remember what her mom said, remember what her dad said towards the end?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:12] My notes right here.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:13] Okay. So. Her dad. So many things came out of this. I loved watching this because I, I felt and related to Billie Eilish myself, even though I'm not that age. I felt for and related to her parents, you know, I have felt forward related to her brother, like all of it. And the thing is that her mom was saying, you know, people think, Oh, she's a teenager.</p>
<p>It's basically fake depression. It's not! Her mom listed out all the things and I'm like, Oh my God, we could relate to every single one of those. So here's a kid in our case babies, right. That we're brought into. [00:51:00] As soon as they were born, all of a sudden our jobs were insecure. All of a sudden we went through this major recession.</p>
<p>We lost our house. We were homeless. Okay, I'm going to say it. We were homeless. True. We don't talk about it, but because we feel ashamed and this is the first time I'm saying it. We were without a home with babies.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:29] Wait. Yeah. Most did not most, but a ton of our possessions  in our car. Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:36] So it looking at us, you would probably never think that</p>
<p>what I'm trying to say is these kids are brought in to that. They're brought it to a world. Like, just look at the state of the environment, look at the social state of affairs around the world, the loneliness epidemic, which is why [00:52:00] we're talking with you here today. Really look at the environmental issues. Look at all this stuff they have to see. Right and deal with how can you not be sad or depressed? How, you know, you're told, you know, don't be so negative. Well, you are definitely a good example of how we need to have ceremony feel things like you mourned graduating fifth or sixth grade. Right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:27] Right. And my graduation from high school cakes at rip, I'm not kidding.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:34] I'm saying that we don't have rituals that are balanced. We may have the parties that go woo. But when we're sad, that gets shut away much like we shut away the old people put them into nursing homes, much like how babies are born, we immediately put them in daycare. We're not together folks, but it's bring it together.</p>
<p>We're all going through stuff and you can't ignore [00:53:00] it. And as soon as you realize it and you know, going back many episodes ago, I was talking to you about the 90 second rule,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:08] right? How you have to feel something completely for 90 seconds. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:14] This is proven. This is like a medical scientific thing that if you allow your body to process a grief, uh, an emotion, it takes 90 seconds to, for it to pass through your body through like in and out.</p>
<p>But we don't allow ourselves that 90 seconds to really feel something that is hard.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:41] Cause it's uncomfortable because I don't want to feel that way even for a second.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:45] Yeah. It's horrifying. And it feels very lonely. We're here to remind you that we are not alone in this we're in it together. So let's, let's end it with, you know, it's, it's so hard to say this [00:54:00] person said this because as we find out more about people, we realize, Oh my God, was this person racist?</p>
<p>Was this person, this and that, but the quote is good. And the leadership was good in some ways.  Winston Churchill: "If you find yourself going through hell, keep going". And I think that's where we should close it off today. Okay. What do you think? Is there anything else you wanted to add?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:54:29] Remember that pain loss longing that you go through has a beginning, a middle and an end, and you should respect all three, especially, hopefully the end, if it's something bad.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:43] And we're still here together. We may have lost people. We may have lost so much, but you're still not alone on the planet. And you're S you're not alone anyway, if you  get into the spiritual aspects of it, [00:55:00] right? There's so much that we've been  trained, not to see that are actually there.</p>
<p>So keep hopeful. I am creating change. And  I invoke right now, I invoke a world of happiness and joy and safety and understanding,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:22] and I go forth with an expectation that good is coming</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:27] good. Is here. We love you. Uh, that's it we'll talk to you in a few days, we're having more and more episodes.</p>
<p>We thought we would just be a one once a week thing, but we have a round table. We have a inundation, a couple series. We're doing a series with martial artists on conflict resolution. We're doing a series on technology and how it's changing human beings [00:56:00] and how we can thrive with it. So, if you want to be on the cutting edge of things, if you there's something happening right now, that's equivalent on par with when we first had the internet and we had the big boom of the internet with the.com.</p>
<p>There's something happening right now. And we have a professor, a PhD, along with Matt to explain all that. And so we are going to learn how we can jump on that wave and be successful guys financially. Technology-wise uh, so stay tuned. We're here for you. Please go to our websites and let's help each other out our friendly world.com.</p>
<p>Or you could go to our friendly world podcast.com. We're on Instagram too: be friendly world. We'll talk to you in a few days. Thank you for listening. See you later. [00:57:00]</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[In this episode:
To hope is to intend with some possibility of fulfillment, to be optimistic, to expect a wish.  The noun form of it is a general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled.  All this is in anticipation that something will happen.
We're waiting on something.
Faith and hope are complimentary.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith is grounded in the reality of the past. Hope is looking to the reality of the future.
While everybody is really trying to live their best lives, you can't, you don't always, you can try, you can strive. But the world has a nasty habit of giving you the yin and the yang, the good and the bad, the male and the female in equal portions in your life. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
We also talk about being vulnerable and how that is seen as weakness. We don't talk about any of this. And I wonder why. Is it seen as weakness? What is it? Is that we don't have time to even talk? Is it because there is no one around that's listening?
 
We talk about the work of Dr. Mario Martinez and how culture affects your health and one’s aging process. And it's all about belief; the belief system.
 
If we come together, we can create something that we thought was impossible. We can create a society that is peaceful. 
 
 Matt says there's a number of different switches we need to flip as an entire society. Uh, I think one of the switches we need to flip this, this concept of scarcity that I can't have something because somebody else already has it, or because, or thinking that there's such a limited pool of resources that I have to somehow or another, get it from someone else. I have to steal it. I have to grab an opportunity away from someone. So this is a whole kind of thought of scarcity. And I think we also need to stay very conscious of understanding exactly what success is. Success is not a $50 million home with 10 exotic cars and et cetera, et cetera, and children in Harvard, you know, I think that that's certainly a measure, but it's not the only measure of what success really looks like.
Can we feel rich without the big mansion? Can we feel rich without the stuff?
Remember that pain loss longing that you go through has a beginning, a middle and an end, and you should respect all three, especially, hopefully the end, if it's something bad.
Transcript:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello?
Fawn and Matt: [00:00:01] Hello? Hello.
Fawn: [00:00:02] I like how you smile when you say hello .Lately, I'm just like, hello.
Matt: [00:00:08] Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening.
Fawn: [00:00:10] Hello everybody around the world. Thank you for listening. Do you remember when we used to laugh? We would even start the show like in midst of laughter. I don't know if that's possible anymore.
Can we do that? Well, it happened again. I hope so. Hope, hope, hope, hope we talked about faith. A couple of shows back. We did a whole show, keeping the faith.
Matt: [00:00:38] Does that mean we're going to have to do charity too to be schoolhouse? Rock compliant?
Fawn: [00:00:42] No.
Matt: [00:00:43] Okay. Fair enough.
Fawn: [00:00:44] Sorry.
Matt: [00:00:45] It's all right. I never watched schoolhouse rock.
Fawn: [00:00:48] Um, I don't know. I mean,  what is hope? Hope is mostly used as a verb and  to intend with some possibility of fulfillment, to [00:01:00] be optimistic, to expec...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:57:52</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED – Roundtable #4 , The Reemergence ]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Wed, 19 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/connected-roundtable-4-the-reemergence</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-roundtable-4-the-reemergence</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This roundtable is about the physiological feat that’s necessary for survival; hibernation, and the various forms we go within and “slumber” to regain not only life, but understanding. And then we discuss the ways in which we reemerge and blossom.</p>
<p>How do we come out of our slumber spiritually, emotionally and physically after the time we have just lived through?</p>
<p>We share all the different ways in nature we go within (from all the different periods of time animals hibernate, to being an introvert, a society going through dark times, to living inside of a pandemic) and all the different ways we can reemerge and come out better and more powerful.</p>
<p>We talk about the meaning of renaissance (rebirth from Latin) and how throughout history we have come out of the darkness, and reemerged with art and imagination and created societies with greater knowledge of spirituality, ingenuity, creativity, ambition, scholarly feats, and awakening to a beautiful world.</p>
<p>We are entering a new world that we are building together.</p>
<p>This roundtable is about the physiological feat that’s necessary for survival; hibernation, and the various forms we go within and “slumber” to regain not only life, but understanding. And then we discuss the ways in which we reemerge and blossom.</p>
<p>How do we come out of our slumber spiritually, emotionally and physically after the time we have just lived through?</p>
<p>We share all the different ways in nature we go within (from all the different periods of time animals hibernate, to being an introvert, a society going through dark times, to living inside of a pandemic) and all the different ways we can reemerge and come out better and more powerful.</p>
<p>We talk about the meaning of renaissance (rebirth from Latin) and how throughout history we have come out of the darkness, and reemerged with art and imagination and created societies with greater knowledge of spirituality, ingenuity, creativity, ambition, scholarly feats, and awakening to a beautiful world.</p>
<p>We are entering a new world that we are building together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] All right, everyone. Welcome to connected our round table of friends showing how truly interconnected we all are. Today's topic is reemergence reemergence.</p>
<p> A sperm whale can spend around 90 minutes hunting underwater before coming back to surface to breathe .Different types of whales, spend different amounts of time underwater and some go deeper than others.</p>
<p>What's interesting about whales is they exhale first, getting rid of all the stale air in their lungs before taking in fresh clean air, a fresh, clean breath. As humans, we tend to breathe in first and then exhale, leaving a lot of stale air in our lungs. So as humans, we absorb only 5% of the oxygen in a single breath. [00:01:00] A whale can absorb as much as 90% of oxygen in each breath.</p>
<p>Today I tried to totally exhale, exhale, exhale, as much as I could. And when you think you can't do some more and then naturally you start getting all the air coming in and then you slowly exhale and it feels amazing, with just one breath, it's amazing how you get this rush in your brain of like, you just get a rush. And I got a little bit dizzy myself</p>
<p> So, volcanoes, volcanoes can be dormant for 10,000 years until they have their reemergence.  There's  a physiological feat that's necessary for animal survival, and that is a hibernation. Another kind of reemergence that can happen is through hibernation.</p>
<p>Check this out. Bears can hibernate from anywhere between five and six [00:02:00] months without moving from their den. Also, there are other animals like box turtles who hibernate three to four months, wood frogs for three months, common poor wills, one to three months of hibernation, bats hibernate some of them for up to six months, Bumble bees hiberna...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This roundtable is about the physiological feat that’s necessary for survival; hibernation, and the various forms we go within and “slumber” to regain not only life, but understanding. And then we discuss the ways in which we reemerge and blossom.
How do we come out of our slumber spiritually, emotionally and physically after the time we have just lived through?
We share all the different ways in nature we go within (from all the different periods of time animals hibernate, to being an introvert, a society going through dark times, to living inside of a pandemic) and all the different ways we can reemerge and come out better and more powerful.
We talk about the meaning of renaissance (rebirth from Latin) and how throughout history we have come out of the darkness, and reemerged with art and imagination and created societies with greater knowledge of spirituality, ingenuity, creativity, ambition, scholarly feats, and awakening to a beautiful world.
We are entering a new world that we are building together.
This roundtable is about the physiological feat that’s necessary for survival; hibernation, and the various forms we go within and “slumber” to regain not only life, but understanding. And then we discuss the ways in which we reemerge and blossom.
How do we come out of our slumber spiritually, emotionally and physically after the time we have just lived through?
We share all the different ways in nature we go within (from all the different periods of time animals hibernate, to being an introvert, a society going through dark times, to living inside of a pandemic) and all the different ways we can reemerge and come out better and more powerful.
We talk about the meaning of renaissance (rebirth from Latin) and how throughout history we have come out of the darkness, and reemerged with art and imagination and created societies with greater knowledge of spirituality, ingenuity, creativity, ambition, scholarly feats, and awakening to a beautiful world.
We are entering a new world that we are building together.
 
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] All right, everyone. Welcome to connected our round table of friends showing how truly interconnected we all are. Today's topic is reemergence reemergence.
 A sperm whale can spend around 90 minutes hunting underwater before coming back to surface to breathe .Different types of whales, spend different amounts of time underwater and some go deeper than others.
What's interesting about whales is they exhale first, getting rid of all the stale air in their lungs before taking in fresh clean air, a fresh, clean breath. As humans, we tend to breathe in first and then exhale, leaving a lot of stale air in our lungs. So as humans, we absorb only 5% of the oxygen in a single breath. [00:01:00] A whale can absorb as much as 90% of oxygen in each breath.
Today I tried to totally exhale, exhale, exhale, as much as I could. And when you think you can't do some more and then naturally you start getting all the air coming in and then you slowly exhale and it feels amazing, with just one breath, it's amazing how you get this rush in your brain of like, you just get a rush. And I got a little bit dizzy myself
 So, volcanoes, volcanoes can be dormant for 10,000 years until they have their reemergence.  There's  a physiological feat that's necessary for animal survival, and that is a hibernation. Another kind of reemergence that can happen is through hibernation.
Check this out. Bears can hibernate from anywhere between five and six [00:02:00] months without moving from their den. Also, there are other animals like box turtles who hibernate three to four months, wood frogs for three months, common poor wills, one to three months of hibernation, bats hibernate some of them for up to six months, Bumble bees hiberna...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED – Roundtable #4 , The Reemergence ]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>4</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This roundtable is about the physiological feat that’s necessary for survival; hibernation, and the various forms we go within and “slumber” to regain not only life, but understanding. And then we discuss the ways in which we reemerge and blossom.</p>
<p>How do we come out of our slumber spiritually, emotionally and physically after the time we have just lived through?</p>
<p>We share all the different ways in nature we go within (from all the different periods of time animals hibernate, to being an introvert, a society going through dark times, to living inside of a pandemic) and all the different ways we can reemerge and come out better and more powerful.</p>
<p>We talk about the meaning of renaissance (rebirth from Latin) and how throughout history we have come out of the darkness, and reemerged with art and imagination and created societies with greater knowledge of spirituality, ingenuity, creativity, ambition, scholarly feats, and awakening to a beautiful world.</p>
<p>We are entering a new world that we are building together.</p>
<p>This roundtable is about the physiological feat that’s necessary for survival; hibernation, and the various forms we go within and “slumber” to regain not only life, but understanding. And then we discuss the ways in which we reemerge and blossom.</p>
<p>How do we come out of our slumber spiritually, emotionally and physically after the time we have just lived through?</p>
<p>We share all the different ways in nature we go within (from all the different periods of time animals hibernate, to being an introvert, a society going through dark times, to living inside of a pandemic) and all the different ways we can reemerge and come out better and more powerful.</p>
<p>We talk about the meaning of renaissance (rebirth from Latin) and how throughout history we have come out of the darkness, and reemerged with art and imagination and created societies with greater knowledge of spirituality, ingenuity, creativity, ambition, scholarly feats, and awakening to a beautiful world.</p>
<p>We are entering a new world that we are building together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] All right, everyone. Welcome to connected our round table of friends showing how truly interconnected we all are. Today's topic is reemergence reemergence.</p>
<p> A sperm whale can spend around 90 minutes hunting underwater before coming back to surface to breathe .Different types of whales, spend different amounts of time underwater and some go deeper than others.</p>
<p>What's interesting about whales is they exhale first, getting rid of all the stale air in their lungs before taking in fresh clean air, a fresh, clean breath. As humans, we tend to breathe in first and then exhale, leaving a lot of stale air in our lungs. So as humans, we absorb only 5% of the oxygen in a single breath. [00:01:00] A whale can absorb as much as 90% of oxygen in each breath.</p>
<p>Today I tried to totally exhale, exhale, exhale, as much as I could. And when you think you can't do some more and then naturally you start getting all the air coming in and then you slowly exhale and it feels amazing, with just one breath, it's amazing how you get this rush in your brain of like, you just get a rush. And I got a little bit dizzy myself</p>
<p> So, volcanoes, volcanoes can be dormant for 10,000 years until they have their reemergence.  There's  a physiological feat that's necessary for animal survival, and that is a hibernation. Another kind of reemergence that can happen is through hibernation.</p>
<p>Check this out. Bears can hibernate from anywhere between five and six [00:02:00] months without moving from their den. Also, there are other animals like box turtles who hibernate three to four months, wood frogs for three months, common poor wills, one to three months of hibernation, bats hibernate some of them for up to six months, Bumble bees hibernate six to seven months, snails hibernate up to three years. Oh, I didn't think snails lived that long to have a hibernation period that last three years, skunks for four months, hedgehogs, anywhere from six weeks to six months, snakes hibernate  anywhere from five to six months. We have groundhogs three to six months. We have the flat tailed dwarf lemur up to seven months, chipmunks hibernate for four months. Deer mice, I'm not sure how long they hibernate for, but they [00:03:00] hibernate .Geckos do it three to four months, ground squirrels, seven to nine months of hibernation. Hummingbirds do it. Ladybugs do it. Lady bugs, hibernate three to four months, lizards for five, a Marmot five to six, Prairie dogs, six months of hibernation.</p>
<p>I wonder how all these other animals come out of their slumber spiritually, physically. Like what are the steps that they can teach us in reemerging from a time of totally going within, uh, you know, I wonder I really don't have the answer, but I wonder do they tip toe outside?</p>
<p>Are they groggy? Do they go out with full force, full steam ahead like, woohoo, world! Here I am.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:50] Or are they super weak and hungry?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:53] I don't know. Do they have to go to the bathroom right away? Do they brush their teeth? [00:04:00] Do they gargle with mouthwash? Do they need coffee?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:04] Do they got to pick up the mail and sort through it all?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:08] So all this reminds me of our society. It's interesting. There are different ways we can all hibernate. And I think of the Renaissance period, where we have the great re-emergence of the arts and imagination. And if you think about the word Renaissance, it literally translates to rebirth from Latin.</p>
<p>It means rebirth. So society came into this great engenuity creativity, ambition, everything from the arts to  I mean everything to scholarly feats, to politics, to you name it, the world was awakened suddenly. This period of time came out of a really dark time. Right. We talk about the medieval ages.</p>
<p>Are you bored, Matt? You look really bored</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:56] I was thinking about, okay. That's that's all well and good. What was [00:05:00] happening in China? What was happening in South America? What was happening?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:03] I know, I know</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:03] it's a very Eurocentric way of looking at it.</p>
<p>This is totally just one example. Much like different animals hibernate for different times in different ways.</p>
<p> This, this area of the world awakened to this thing, but then they do have a major control element on a lot of the planet; with politics and everything, but yeah, you're right. Like, I don't know. But, so it's just one example, guys. Just one example. And speaking of one example, I'm thinking about the United States and I'm wondering, are we in a medieval period right now?</p>
<p>It seems like perhaps we were in a Renaissance because we have had in the last hundred years, so much technology, so much innovation. Right. But on a social level, I feel like we are totally the depths of the medieval times with the way that we treat each other with all the violence. I mean, it's [00:06:00] downright medieval, don't you think?</p>
<p>Yeah, no, I've heard, I've heard similar, I've read similar things, talking about how we went from,  the horse drawn carriage to outer space in the span of like 80 years. But what, where did we go as far as our ethics, as far as our philosophy, as far as our... you know, if it feels like we're stuck,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:22] it feels like we went backwards and we're indeed stuck in the depths of hell some days.</p>
<p> I mean, I there's been, especially the past year depths of hell, man. When are we going to wake up from this nightmare  is what I keep hearing from our friends and which, which at the same time, we're we are having a reemergence of spirituality because think about over the last 10, 15, 20 years, the word meditation, like everyone is now meditating.</p>
<p>I remember, I don't know how long ago, but Oprah was teaching the whole audience how to meditate. That was [00:07:00] unheard of. People didn't even, I mean, that was such a woo woo thing. It was such a strange thing to most people, but like, think about as many nail salons and Starbucks we have on every corner, we have yoga studios everywhere. That was, I mean, that's pretty, that's a big leap to incorporate yoga. There are still even today, so many religions that are against yoga. So if you practice yoga, they feel like you're evil because they don't want you to be powerful like that. You know, it's like, uh, it's it's against your religion to do yoga.</p>
<p>I don't know if Katy, have you heard about that?</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:07:40] No, not at all.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:42] Oh my God. When I was, when I was getting my yoga license, my teaching, I remember people, like I heard all kinds of people saying growing up, they had to hide it from their parents when they were doing yoga, that it was totally against their religion.</p>
<p>Like these are Christian</p>
<p>[00:08:00] religion.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:01] Well, hold on. You know, one of the main tenants of Christianity is thou shalt have no gods before me. Right? That's very old Testament, but it's still part of Christianity as well. And they may be, they might've been viewing yoga as being its own religion</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:08:15] maybe</p>
<p>because it does have a huge spiritual aspect to it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:18] And you do have Ganesha you do have like all these entities, these examples that you have statutes of. So yeah, there are, I don't know if it's that. I, I don't know if it's going within and knowing that you have all the power, all the resources within yourself and they don't like that. They want you to go to a spiritual leader for that.</p>
<p>They don't want you to feel like you, you can access it from your own being that you are God. I think that's probably like a big no-no in most religions, but just, it's interesting. Like all these things are happening now. And, and [00:09:00] so here are my questions for today: what else is reemerging in life?  How are the different ways re-emergence exists?</p>
<p>I know, so we were talking Matt in the kitchen yesterday, we were talking about the re-emergence of personalities, strength, art, music celebration. Like, there are so many ways we can look at reemergence and what that is. And so here are the questions for today. Obviously we're in a pandemic, it's still here and I know there's half of the population that's been outside. And then there's the other half who's been totally quarantined religiously quarantined. But when we all come out, how are we going to show up for ourselves? But how are we going to show up for our, for others? How do we show up? And, you know, we can also look at technology. How is technology going to reemerge itself?</p>
<p>Like what will, what will the world look like when we [00:10:00] come out? Medicine? How is medicine reemerging in our lives? We have, I heard a long time ago. Well, it feels like years ago, but it was actually the beginning of the pandemic. I heard some people talking about, the race for the vaccine and how really this could be a huge turning point for discovering ways to find cures to diseases that have completely troubled our humanity for so long, like cancer.</p>
<p>So the way that we're looking at viruses could be a key. And discovering the vaccine could be a key to discovering the cure to cancer or the cure to alzheimers like all these things that have been plaguing us. So  good things can reemerge.</p>
<p>How do you all see our worlds and how do we reemerge?</p>
<p>How do we come out of this? What will it look like? I don't to [00:11:00] take it to a simple level. I was telling KJ the other day. I wouldn't even know how to go outside. Like it would probably feel like, um, someone who hasn't bathed in months, which happened to me by the way, when I was photographing out in the Bush, I went for almost six weeks without bathing.</p>
<p>So water did not touch my skin. I was in the desert. I was out in the Bush for that long. And the first time I took a shower, it was a shock to my system. Like I didn't understand it was a shock. I can't describe the feeling to you of having water trickle on my head and touch my skin. It was the most absurd, weirdest, foreign sensation.</p>
<p>I can't describe it guys. I wish I could, but it was a shocker. Like, I, I, I was like, what is this? And so I wonder if I'm going to feel that way when I'm really [00:12:00] stepping out there. I mean, guys, I used to travel all the time.  The world was my living room. I just went from place to place. I don't even know.</p>
<p>So I was talking to KJ I'm like KJ:  KJ, I don't even know how to step outside our little apartment.  Am I going to freak out? And so she said something like, step one step at a time, right, KJ?.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:12:20] Yeah. I was just like, step outside your door first, stand on the porch,</p>
<p>start there.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:28] And then what? I don't know.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:30] Right. And, and what happens when I'm at the supermarket and I'm reaching for the same loaf of bread, someone else's reaching for, what does that even look like? What does it look like when I have to navigate past somebody? What we both go to the right. We both, you know, it's a, it's an interesting thought,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:46] you know, like during the, during those pandemic, I always have the sensation, like at any moment I can just let it all go. Like, have you ever tried to not make a mess? [00:13:00] Like you're in the kitchen and you're pouring something. And I can't think of an exact example, but like, you're very careful to not make a mess. And then all of a sudden you make a tiny little mess and you're like, well, forget it.</p>
<p>What you just give up. And all of a sudden you have  maple syrup all, all over your arm. And you're like, Oh, well, you're just letting it go everywhere. Cause you want to delve into that messiness and just feeling all of it. And so during this pandemic, I've always thought, well, I'm taking one step at a time.</p>
<p>I'm like getting out here and I'm going over here and I'm getting more brave. What if I just let loose and started hugging everybody all of a sudden, like, I, it could be so easily done or right. Or like if I relaxed, totally and lose control and like completely release into it. It's such a weird sensation, much like that shower that I had in [00:14:00] Ethiopia, it was like, it was just like total release.</p>
<p>You know, I always think about that.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:14:06] So can I say one thing fawn?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:08] Please.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:14:09] Um, we did that at work, you know, unfortunately in Boulder last week we was at awful shooting. And, um, one of the women that I work with is a victim advocate and she was talking about working with some of the families. And so we were, there were two other women and I talking to her and all of a sudden we said, that's it.</p>
<p>And we hugged each other. We said, I don't care. We all needed hugs. So we just did it. And we're like, we, a hug was so much more important at that time, then the pandemic and, and we're like, well, I was all vaccinated. So I'm like, I don't care. And I think a couple other people were, but we're just like, you know what, we're just doing it.</p>
<p>I don't care what anybody says. We need each other to hug and we did it and we felt so much better.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:58] Can we talk about how [00:15:00] your, I could see tears in your eyes?</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:15:02] Yeah. Sorry</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:04] can you, can you, can we talk about that? Tell me what it is you're feeling. Why are you crying? Can you explore that for me? Cause I feel it too.</p>
<p>I feel it in my chest, but I don't maybe KJ can help explain what this is. Why are we crying?</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:15:21] Well, I just feel, I mean, you know, the news has been on like 24 seven and the papers and everything. And with talking about all the victims and you know, how, and the other thing, you know, that, that King Soopers, what really interesting phenomenon they said is that some of the stores, um, and you know, in your that's your neighborhood store and you go there to, um, to go grocery shop and see the people who work there on the store.</p>
<p>And that is so-called your store. It's your tribe. It's your village outlet. [00:16:00] Going there and connecting with other people. Um, so they would only go out to the grocery store and that was it. And that was their connection. And so, and I could, I could definitely feel that same feeling because we have customers coming in too.</p>
<p>And they would all come in and talk to us and about how they were feeling. So I really connect with, with all those people that work in the store and, and how they must feel. And also because it's just so close, it could have happened to us too. And it was just very frightening.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:34] You know, I, when we were trying to figure out where it was like, we ha we, we heard the sirens, so the TV came on and we were looking at the, uh, the aerial shots.</p>
<p>I'm like, Oh my God, that's right here. And I was wondering if it was our store and it doesn't even matter whose store it is, but we're all. It's our village.</p>
<p>[00:17:00] <strong>Katy: </strong>[00:17:00] That's right. It is. Everybody can associate with that because we have our stores and, and, you know, I just, it just, I don't know, it just hits so close.</p>
<p>And then that, then that same day we had to return, our dog, and it was just a bad day. I mean, not return our dog, but give our dog back to the shelter. Cause she wasn't working out after we tried so hard with her and it was like, Ugh. And I really got attached to her.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:33] So it was just, I know that's all, that's a lot of loss.</p>
<p>Yeah. And God knows what Nii goes through. Like Nii sees, everything he is here with you guys. We have KJ today. We have Katie. Nii, Matt and me obviously, but how do you handle, how do you handle the [00:18:00] loss and the stress? God knows what you've seen as an emergency surgeon, trauma surgeon.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:18:09] Yeah. I, uh, you know, I see death unfortunately, a lot in my line of work, um, particularly what specifically, what, what I do with trauma.</p>
<p>Um, but there's really nothing like seeing people pass away without loved ones around them, that's the tough part, you know? And like, you're, it's literally a person passing away or getting close to it. And the way they are able to connect with their family is through an iPad. It's very difficult, you know, I think, and I think that that's one of the stories that when we re-emerged, I think will really start to take hold about, you know, what it's like to just connect with people, what it's like to be a part of a community or a unit or a family [00:19:00] structure. And then what happens when you're not connected to that and what that does for your health and what that does for your energy and so forth.</p>
<p>And,  the studies will be coming on that. And I think from a provider standpoint, I think we all realize that, from a clinical standpoint, I think we, we understand how the body works and how it heals, but the really big thing that we really don't understand. And I think we're gonna have to spend more time with that is the, uh, is like the energy, the mental health, the Metta that we don't know anything about</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:37] the metta!Yeah, exactly. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:19:41] So for me,  I've definitely learned, just seeing so many people pass away without their family or me going through COVID and it going through my family. And, you know, I think I've definitely learned the importance of just literally just living in the now. And I was definitely the type of person who would plan [00:20:00] years ahead  in advance and always live for tomorrow or live for, you know, some type of delayed gratification.</p>
<p>And after last year and all the different things that you see from famous people passing away to COVID and, you know, uh, you know, personal issues that happen in my family during the, during this time, it's just like, yeah, like you got to enjoy every day and live it to the extreme. And, you know, even with patients and families, you know, I, when I'm talking to them about X, Y, and Z, and, you know, you have someone who may be later on in their life, and it's very clear that whatever is not going to work. Medical plan is not going to work, you know, in the past I would just say, listen, let's just, you know, try such and such surgical procedure. And if it doesn't work, then we can make that decision. But the thing that we don't think about is, is, you know, the trauma that families have to [00:21:00] go through, or even that a patient has to go through.</p>
<p>And even though they may pass away and they're on a ventilator or pass away and they're sedated, you know, it's just, to me, it's just not really dignifying. So I've learned to be more of a, let's really think about this, everyone let's, what's the goals of care. And yes, I can put you through this initial insult and try our best, but likelihood of you getting off the ventilator or the likelihood of you making it out of the hospital is very low.</p>
<p>Is this what you really want? Is this what you really want for your family member? And not that I have those conversations. You know, it's been a very, it's been very hard to connect with people that way, mainly because that's not how I'm trained, but it really has taught me the importance of just really connecting with people, understanding people, looking at people, not just as a patient, but as this person is part of a huge or a larger family structure, community structure.</p>
<p>[00:22:00] And if I work in this community, that's actually, I'm connected to that also. So I think a lot more physicians, I think a lot more medical professionals are looking at life that way, looking at the way, how they care for people that way. And, um, that's how I'm choosing to reemerge back into the world, you know, is just really the importance of connecting of talking to people.</p>
<p>Um, understanding how important life is not just in general, like talking like, Oh yeah, life is great. Or life is important. Like, no, like today is important, right? Like what are you going to do today to really enjoy life? You know? And, um, Yeah. Sorry about that. Sorry for going on a rant.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:40] No, no, this was perfect.</p>
<p>Ni we respect you so much. We're always in awe of you as a human being and in all of you as what you do, like how you are working on other human beings. Like, we want to hear [00:23:00] everything you have to say. We want to hear everything that you're thinking, because God knows, like, I wonder, like how much do you have to push aside?</p>
<p>Like how emotional is your work to, to deal with trauma? I mean, first of all, a trauma surgeon, does that mean like people come in with gunshots? Like, so like D is that what you, I mean, what, what is a trauma surgeon?</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:23:25] Yeah, so a trauma surgeon is surgery. That's involved with people who are acutely injured, so that can be fallen downstairs.</p>
<p>That could be. Um, car accident that can be shot that could be stabbed. Um, you know, anything that you can think of where someone is acutely injured,  that kind of falls within my wheelhouse. But then I also do emergency surgery also. So if you have an appendix that needs to be taken out or, um, you know, whatever it is that needs to be done emergently like in hours, or you may have a really bad outcome, I do that type of surgery.</p>
<p> So usually in those types of [00:24:00] decisions, those decisions are very, I like it because people are like, well, it must be very hard to, to make the, you know, to do what you do. And I'm like, you know, the type of patients I deal with is difficult to deal with, but the decision-making is easy because it's like, well, if you don't do anything, they're going to die.</p>
<p>Right. Or if you don't do anything, you're gonna have a very bad outcome, like soon. Whereas other specialties, , you have time to kind of think about it. There's so many different options in front of you. So actually I think that's harder. What I do with it's like, I didn't. I didn't do anything to your appendix. Like it has to come out, right? Like that's the type of decision it is for me. But I do think that because things happen so quickly and because things are such a life and death situation, there's really no time to think about the in-between. Right. And, you know, I it's, it's really interesting to see how dogmatic that thought process is.</p>
<p>Right. It's very dogmatic. And I think just in general with medicine in general, I think we're starting to realize that a lot of things that we do [00:25:00] in general up until this day is literally only because that's the way someone was taught, you know, maybe 10, 20 years ago. And, uh, it's changing, you know, so there's a lot of stuff in medicine that's, I don't know if you guys have been paying attention, but there's a lot of stuff that when this whole thing re-emerges, it's really going to change even education. Right? So there's this big test that we take in between  right before we graduate from medical school is called the clinical skills test.</p>
<p>And it's a test where you go and you have to fly to a testing center and you are doing a simulation with a, an actor and asking them different questions about, just doing a normal history and physical. Tell me about who you are and where, how many surgeries have you had, what medications, it's just kind of teaching yourself how to, or teaching when showing that you can do this capability, you do a physical examination and you walk out of the room and then you write down a differential diagnosis and you do that for an entire day.</p>
<p>You go through about maybe five or six [00:26:00] patients and from a medical school standpoint, or from a student standpoint, that's a $1,500 test. Um, the testing sites are in very sparse areas of the United States. I think there's only like total like seven. So the majority of people are, are living in places where you have to fly to this place.</p>
<p>And then you have to also have to get a hotel.  So we're talking about a good $2,500, $3,000 investment, and don't forget the people who are taking this test all have loans for the most part, right? So now that the pandemic of occurred, you can't have hundreds and thousands of students, you know, flying into one place and taking this test and coming in after hour, after hour after hour.</p>
<p>So they canceled the test. They, they at first postponed it and then after a while they redid things and they just said, we're going to cancel this test. Well, we later found out is that the reason they did this test was because there was a lot of foreign medical graduates who were coming [00:27:00] into the United States and quote, unquote didn't know how to speak in proper English.</p>
<p>So this was a test to kind of weed that out, but it was also a huge moneymaker for the schools. So it completely like changed. The pandemic has completely changed how we think about certain things. Certain tests that we took that were based off of a number system are now pass fail. Right. And that's huge because it's just like, well, why, why did I have all this anxiety about trying to get in the 90th percentile for this test?</p>
<p>When ultimately what's really important is that I just pass and fail. Right. Right. This is all because of the pandemic. So there's a lot of things within medicine that is changed because of this, this pandemic, a lot of people are frustrated, like, dang it. Why did this pandemic five years ago when I was taking a test?</p>
<p>Um, but it just lets you know, that even within medicine where we do so many different studies and everything is, is tested against this randomized control, like we do things incorrectly also .We do [00:28:00] things just because, so that's how I'm reemerging. It's just realizing that there's a lot of things that need to be re-evaluated and we got to live for</p>
<p><strong>Fawn and Matt: </strong>[00:28:06] now.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:07] Wow. Nice. Thank you, God. That was powerful. And, and, you know, the pandemic is rewriting all sorts of things and all sorts of industries and medicine, amongst many others, uh, and really attempting to kind of strip down to get to more of the meat of what people are really trying to do instead of the appearance of what they're trying to do.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:28:27] Yeah, you actually said that the best way, actually. That's the best way to say it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn and Matt: </strong>[00:28:31] Happy dance, honey. I, anyway.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:38] What really gets me going though for me personally, is what's going to happen at what's going to happen when I'm at the, uh, uh, gas station, filling up my car and I go inside to pay, what's going to happen at, when I run into people on the street, what's going to happen when, you know, uh, we're fighting, I'm fighting with somebody over a parking spot or, you [00:29:00] know, what's going to happen,  at the farmer's market, even walking down,  I mean, we, we've gone through now a period of a year of stay six feet away, at least put on a mask, which is very dehumanizing.</p>
<p>And it's it's hard because, you know, I honestly, I can't see somebody smiling under a mask and that's just what it is. So, you know, everybody looks very stern and clinical and mean, and we're also being taught to stay away from each other. And yet, as human beings, as a human tribe, we need that closeness.</p>
<p>We need that touch. We need hugs.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:33] I think this was a perfect time out. The thing is we were totally separated before. We were completely not even hanging out together before. Seriously, we weren't, I don't care. What, what kind of hate mail is going to come at me for saying this, but really it wasn't there, but because we were put on time out, I think now we realize how important a human touch truly [00:30:00] is, how healing it is.</p>
<p>You know, there are, I'm sure some things that the most advanced medical procedure cannot fix, but a human touch can, a prayer can a thought can transform everything and bring them out spontaneous healing. So I think when the masks come off and we can truly fully reemerge. I think we'll see a shiny new toy in what we previously had before as a toy we had in the corner that we just ignored or what's the word for it?</p>
<p>When you ignore something, you just, uh, does something with it, dismissed you dismiss. Thank you. All of the things that were previously dismissed, we will look at with a shining spotlight and see how truly amazing it is much like the sun. Let's talk about  going back to having things seems so dark and [00:31:00] medieval.</p>
<p>Well, the sun re-emerges every day. Right? And it's so beautiful and midday, we can feel like, Oh, it's too much sun. Like I personally feel like too much sun. I lose all my energy. It's too hot. I hate it. But I like, and then the night comes and you go through that. And then when the sun comes up, you're like, Oh my God, it's so beautiful.</p>
<p> I don't know. I don't know if it's a cycle. I don't know if, as a society, we're just going through another cycle coming out of some medieval period. And I hope we're going into this run through this Renaissance period of hopefully like once and for all having light shine upon everything and how there will be just respect and [00:32:00] compassion and peace and economic, equality and racial equality and just love.</p>
<p>I mean, You guys know where I'm headed.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:13] Yep. Personally, you know, I'm going to take this opportunity to really kind of double down on what it is to be me, which, you know, I'm, I'm reasonably open. I'm, I'm very communicative. And I, you know, I'm not, I don't shy away from conversations and I like asking people random questions, what I'm most hopeful for and I think will happen at least initially, as that people are going to be more open to talking just in general, with strength, with quote unquote, strangers that they, that they meet. You know, that's something that I've noticed just with teammates, you know, I'm able to catch them more on personal conversations.</p>
<p>And the fact is if I remember something about someone, cause that's what I do. It's one of my superpowers. Um, you know, they're, they're even happier than normal that somebody has recognized them and [00:33:00] sees them and moves forward. I just get nervous that what's going to happen is much like you remember that first shower.</p>
<p>Do you remember your fifth shower?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:09] No.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:09] Exactly. That's the thing that gets me worried that everybody's just going to want to, Whoa, let's go back to normal.</p>
<p><strong>everyone: </strong>[00:33:17] No, there is no more normal. There is no way we can go back to normal.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:21] You'd be surprised.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:23] but this is the beauty of hibernation. The reason why I brought up all these other animals that hibernate, is it's needed.</p>
<p>So we needed to go inside. We needed to go and really delve deep into the darkness and see everything. I mean, it's interesting. We all had to go in and then yet at the same time, everything was exposed. Right? All the violence is exposed the, in the, in what's the word in, uh, in, uh, what's the word justice.</p>
<p>[00:34:00] Um, and in the adequacies. And I said in attic, I can't pronounce inadequacy. Okay. Inadequacy the N I can't pronounce it. The inadequacies of government around the world, like everything, we're, we're seeing  all the bad, you know, it's been there all along. And I feel like even though it's dark, I think it's a very important phase that much, like how there was that statement that, that said, you know, hibernation is a physiological feat that's necessary for survival.</p>
<p>I think this having to go inside, having to be shut, shut down has been so vital for survival. It's been so needed. And I mean, and I can also take it to art. Like, I'll just, and I'll be quiet after this, but like photography take photography as an example, [00:35:00] as a photographer, I was always surrounded by other professional photographers, like amazing artists.</p>
<p>And they were like, Fawn you need to be shooting every day. You need to be photographing every day. You need to work on your craft every day. You need to take a snapshot every day, every day, every day, every day. And that really stressed me out because I don't operate like that. I would go for months without taking one image.</p>
<p>And in that time I would freak out because of course, all my peers would say, well, I'm photographing every day where they are every day. Look at what I made. Look at what I made. Look, look, look, look, and it was just like enough already. So I had to go even further in and like get away from all that, because what I felt was that in listening to that, I felt like, well, gee, if I'm not snapping away, if I'm not creating for you every day, I have lost my mojo.</p>
<p>It has left me. The creative force has left me [00:36:00] because I'm not creating, but what I've found  was that in my quiet time, in my seclusion time, in the time that I realized in my own submergence that it was actually the most creative time of my life. Um, a time that I understand and see and hear from a pure source, it's like, it's like a Caterpillar growing, right?</p>
<p>I needed to have my own cocoon. I don't take pictures, but in the time that I'm not producing is actually the most creative time for me because I'm growing, I'm learning, I'm seeing, and it made, it may look like nothing is happening, but I am a Caterpillar turning into a butterfly.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:49] And I get it. I get it as a programmer.</p>
<p>Um, It's the time away from the keyboard. That can be twice as important. You know, they always talk about when you're going to [00:37:00] create something you need to take, do you need to stop before you do and really plan out what it is you're going to do. And that's from a very kind of scientific mindset, but that's how it's done.</p>
<p>And it turns out that actually makes it faster, makes it better when all is said and done. And that's been proven,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:18] there are so many pictures that were just meant for me to see that I didn't snap, but it was the universe showing me something. It was just meant for me. And I had to realize that, not let that get in the way of, Oh my God, it's horrible. I didn't take this picture. If that makes any sense. I feel like KJ wanted to step in and I totally bulldozed over the conversation.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:43] Me too.</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:37:44] There were so many responses. I had to a number of things. And so I'm trying to organize,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn and Matt: </strong>[00:37:51] um,</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:37:52] I want to recall something that needs said, which I think was really important, which is the idea [00:38:00] and the understanding that we actually have intention behind how we choose to reemerge and how we choose to respond  to the darkness,  to the hibernation.</p>
<p>Um, he had said something along the lines of, I choose to show up in this way now from what I've witnessed and what I've observed over the last year, year plus. And when I knew that we were going to talk a little bit about re-emergence today and, uh, Renaissance, I immediately went to, my studies in psychology in which there's a gentleman, a neurologist, actually, his name is Victor Frankl.</p>
<p>Folks may have heard about him.  He wrote this incredible book I have here in front of me. It's called "Man's Search for Meaning". Yeah. And he was for three years in, in, um, Nazi [00:39:00] internment camps. So you want to talk about darkness. You want to talk about the very worst of human nature and more than human nature, just nature in general and the atrocities that he saw, his entire family perished, including sisters, parents, brothers, his pregnant wife over this time period, but he survived and he actually lived to be about 92 years old. Um, he actually passed fairly recently in the late nineties, but before he passed away, he wrote something like 30, 35 books all about what he discovered was the way that we emerge and the way that we could survive.</p>
<p>And it literally is about choosing as Nii had said, choosing on how to cope with the trauma, the new event that impacted him impacts us. [00:40:00] And so we all collectively went through a traumatic event. Um, and continue to move through the traumatic events. And so then I wanted to loop back into what Fawn was just saying, which is like, this has been occurring for millions of years, um, periods of darkness, wars, violence, and yet we still continue to emerge from it.</p>
<p>So there are definitely cycles. There are definitely seasons. And what I found 2020 and into 2021 really meant for me was it was like a truth serum. Number one, I feel like it stripped down everything and suddenly, suddenly, I felt like priorities were changed. We had to relearn language. I was laughing when, when Matt, you said I can't read  through masks. No, no one can, we're not used to that. But there was an experience that I had when I did go to the grocery store fairly recently. [00:41:00] And, um, there were several of us in line. All of us masked up and someone started to narrate what was happening because we were all sort of laughing over something.</p>
<p>We were watching a kid like move through the toys or something like that. And we were all laughing, but then someone said, I know you can't see me, but I'm smiling. You know, like we had to relay language and reconfigure how we'll respond because some of the senses now have been dulled. You know, if just how it is, if we lose our eyesight, the other census suddenly becomes so much more.</p>
<p>Right. Focused and vibrant, right? Yeah. And so I feel like what 2020 and into 2021 has done is that it has now given everybody an opportunity to return to this is going to sound strange, to return to their senses, return to their roots, return to language. And then as Dr. Victor Frankel says, um, [00:42:00] let's find meaning let's find purpose and intentionality around this.</p>
<p>What did I learn from this? How am I going to choose to show up, despite having  all of this occur. So I just kind of went off on a, on a tangent, but I just was, I'm responding to everything that's been said so far. And,  just as important, if not more is the hibernation period and the replenishment period, there is no way we can continue to show up,</p>
<p>heal, present, produce, if we haven't had a moment to replenish and just rest, because I think what happened was that everyone has been running, running, running hadn't hadn't remembered how to communicate with people. Hadn't remembered what was important, uh, what relationships were important, what priorities were until it was taken away from them until we were forced to pause.</p>
<p>And I see this time, I see the pandemic as this one big learning [00:43:00] opportunity, but also as a chance to replenish cocoon, re-emerge changed.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:08] KJ. How do you do that? You just took everything we talked about in an hour. And  completely reiterated everything in a more beautiful way with more beautiful words.</p>
<p>How in the world do you do that? Like, I can't remember five seconds ago.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:43:23] I do  take notes? I took notes, but I wrote down when I was having a response to something that one of you had said, and I was like, that's right. That's right. Like I said, Matt reminded me. Oh yeah, no, we can't read through masks. And, and, um, and Katie and saying, and, and having such a sensitive reaction to, can we please hug, when did it become abnormal or when did it become dangerous to have, yeah.</p>
<p>And, and the response to, Oh my gosh. Let's hug because I think hugging and connecting is more important than, than a [00:44:00] pandemic.</p>
<p>I get that. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:02] And that could probably boost your immune system in that moment. Yeah. Wow. I don't even know where to go from here. I mean, this is like a perfect, yeah. Mike drop KJ.</p>
<p>You are amazing. You know what we should do? Like it's funny because last episode I said, okay, that's perfect. So therefore the next show should be about reemergence. I think we should have a show on KJ teaching us how to listen and how to take notes on each other's behaviors and like take notes on what is happening to be able to, uh, digest everything in life.</p>
<p>Like it's really remarkable how you do that and I can see why you do what you do, KJ. I mean,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:44:49] you're very kind,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:50] no, this is the truth. It's mind blowing to me. Seriously. I am a goldfish. I'm like, what I forget is it</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:57] the gold fish has a memory of about 10 [00:45:00] seconds, but one thing I want to say. New sort of new when we do reemerge, it is an opportunity for us to reinvent.</p>
<p>It's an opportunity for us to take a look, a good, hard look at how we were acting before and make decisions as far as is that how I want to be going forward. And everybody's had that big, ugly pause button  hit, and everybody is going to be socially awkward and everybody's going to be, you know, uncomfortable looking at strangers faces and everybody's going to be, I mean, it's going to be a random, strange, beautiful, uncomfortable world.</p>
<p>And we have the opportunity to walk into that world ignorant and figure out where our place is and choose perhaps to do things differently.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:56] Matt  made a Mike drop gesture, but like also [00:46:00] a quick question, Matt, you were saying, you were talking about how we forget the fifth shower, right? We remember the first shower. How do we, you guys, any, anyone have any advice on how we can stay in awe of every moment? Because things can get back to normal all of a sudden, and we forgot what it's like to have the feeling of water to have the gratefulness of electricity, or, you know, having a grateful attitude towards things that come along instead of disregarding them.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:39] Well, you're, you're almost answering your own question, right? Word being in the moment, being grateful, we need to, we need to hold on to our gratitude. The trick is, is we need to hold on to like the good and not hold on to: I was held up for a year in my home, you know, and that's really, the tricky part is being thankful for where we are now,</p>
<p>[00:47:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:00] but here's the thing.</p>
<p>We need a ritual to remind us to be, to do that. We need a ritual. Maybe that's where the prayer comes in, how people gather around the table. And they S they say, thank you. We need to have rituals. Like, I think we should come up with them right now. Not necessarily at this second on this particular episode, maybe that's another episode.</p>
<p>Let's create rituals and in ways that we can, we're forced to, in a way, remember to stop and be thankful, stop and say, thank you. Stop and realize I am taking a shower. There is water hitting my skin.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:47:39] That's exactly it. I was going to say you, you did answer your own question, my love. It's so simple too.</p>
<p>Not that that I'm saying it's easy and, but it's simple when we actually give gratitude for the very thing that is occurring in the moment. So if the water is falling onto my hand, [00:48:00] thank you water. Literally saying it out loud. I am so grateful that I have water on my hand and then touch it. We all talked about how important human touches touch that part of your body that is being, uh, that is experiencing, acknowledging thank you to my hands today for holding these heavy books for being able to write, write down notes, take notes today. So it's almost like boiling it back again, like I've said to our senses, just naming it out loud makes a whole bunch of space. And so I was gonna suggest what we could do maybe moving forward or as we can end today's show, we could speak to one thing that we were we're grateful for from this conversation.</p>
<p>And then maybe when we start the next show, we could say something like something that I'm hoping my intention in this next hour or so to talk about [00:49:00] or connect about will be this. So it's again, that's inserting the pause and it's inserting an opportunity for gratitude and acknowledgement.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:10] I'm grateful to, um, this is going to sound terrible.</p>
<p>I am grateful to being witness to Katie's tears during our conversation. Because as soon as she started tearing up, my chest started to have all kinds of sensations. And I realized I'm not alone in this feeling because I tried to immediately push it away because, you know, once again, I'm embarrassed about the state of the world and having to constantly apologize to our children, that they're having to witness all these things.</p>
<p>Um, and then I think I'm the only one feeling this way and I'm knowing, I know I'm not, but, and witnessing Katy's [00:50:00] tears, I'm grateful that I saw her tears, that I know that this is not normal, that Katy's tears are of compassion and of the interconnectedness that I always talk about that here it is.</p>
<p>It is real, so I'm grateful. I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's what I'm grateful for.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:50:26] Um,</p>
<p>can I say something in</p>
<p>the car now? I just wanted to say that I, I, um, agree with that wholeheartedly. I'd like to say that I'm grateful for, um, realizing that at least for me, um, growing up with very little amount of money, um, and realizing that, you know, education was the key for me, it was a, you know, the pursuit of something became success and trying to get money, became the [00:51:00] object.</p>
<p>And I realized, and I'm very grateful for realizing before I ended up divorced or estranged from these two, that it really isn't about that.  It really is about spending time and being present. And I think the big thing that I'm really grateful about is just being in the moment and enjoying life and realizing that my greatest asset really is time.</p>
<p>That's it? And that's what I, sorry about that. No, we have to wait.</p>
<p>Yeah, that's a train.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:35] Yeah. We have to acknowledge the train. We have to acknowledge the train. That's right. That's</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:51:39] the train.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:51:40] But just those little things are very, very, very important to me. And that's the most valuable asset is the time that I have with these two back here I'm to have with my wife, the time that I'm spending with you guys and you know, me shifting from me shifting from, and I hope you guys all look it at it.</p>
<p>Me shifting from being in a house to being in a car [00:52:00] is not that I'm not taking this seriously, but it's like. This is what's going on. And I can feel like, try to do both at the same time. I'm trying to maximize time as much as possible. So that's my gratitude right there.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:12] It's my gratitude too. It's my gratitude, too, that we are able to be a part of you and, and your family.</p>
<p>And this is life. I don't like it. When people have that, that veneer of like, this is my perfect life, and I'm going to hide this away from you. I'm going to hide this aspect from this person. And I'm editing my life in response. Like I have a friend who totally edits her life. Like her kids don't know anything about our friendship or her kids will only know certain things about her life.</p>
<p>She edits. And I'm so grateful that Nii is including us in his day and his very busy day. And I'm sorry, I used the word, the [00:53:00] word busy that I schooled people for using what I'm saying is it's, it's a, it's an action packed, it's a wonderfully filled day and I'm so grateful that there's no editing that we are part of that. I, I want to hear about the train, the kids are screaming about, you know, so thank you Nii.</p>
<p> <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:21] I just pointed to Matt, it's just like, there's such a dichotomy. It's like, I'm looking, I'm, I'm happy about this, but then there's a sad thing. And I'm trying so hard to say, I want to come up with the example that says, I'm happy about this, because this is happy and I'm having a hard time with it right now.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:38] So I don't understand.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:53:41] I think I'd understand.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:43] You do,?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:43] Of course.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:43] Can someone explain it to me? Translate that?</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:53:48] No, no, I just, there's something, maybe this is a part of it all is to, to is returning to what it might be to not be edited and to hold [00:54:00] both. You can be happy and joyful about something, but at the same time, how do I reconcile the fact that there is still a lot of, a lot of sadness, a lot of darkness too.</p>
<p>And so it would seem almost, I don't know. I don't want to prescribe that. Um, but it would seem almost it's difficult to reconcile and say, I'm happy about the sadness or how do I turn that around to be like what I've learned for and what I'm grateful from. The sadness could be, um, maybe, and maybe it doesn't have to be at this huge glorious label, but it could just be I'm, I'm happy that I understand that there are both</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:54:45] maybe</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:46] what was it you were feeling, honey, are you feeling sad?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:54:49] It's just, you know, we celebrate loss. It's just how it almost feels to me. And I want to be happy because, [00:55:00] because of something happy, I don't want to be happy because I can now do something that I wasn't able to do before, because that's kind of sad. Right. And, um, and I'm just having a hard time with it.</p>
<p>And maybe that's part of the human condition. Like if I was. Just happy because I'm happy, then I would feel guilty or I would feel silly or I would feel small, but I don't want to feel that way. I want to feel mighty and powerful and happy. And I'm just working</p>
<p>on that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:24] Right. Totally get what you're saying.</p>
<p>Like Matt always has a way of, um, and it's really interesting to be around because he grieves, he grieved graduating sixth grade. Was it sixth grade? You always talk about, you were grieving graduating. Yeah. Because you were leaving something behind and I think that's true. We don't have ceremony for things we go through.</p>
<p>We don't have, well, we have, because we don't want to tell themselves celebration cause</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:53] we don't want to have a solemn song celebration. There's</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:56] no one wants to live in that space. But if we ignore it, [00:56:00] we live in that space, uh, with an underlying current throughout all of our lives because we never acknowledged or paid respect to the hardship.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:56:12] I think it's important to recognize both or more, but I think it's, I think it's helpful that we can move to a place of remembrance in the grieving process with love, with hope, but we also need to touch on and sit with the pain that's also associated with it. And that's where a lot of us struggle. It doesn't feel good to be in pain.</p>
<p>It doesn't feel good to be uncomfortable.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:44] Right. It doesn't feel good to be sad. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's just, there's a time for all things under the earth.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:52] One of my favorite things is to cry myself to sleep. I feel like it's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:58] no, no, no, no, no, no folks she's [00:57:00] married to me. You can't have her.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:04] Yeah. Well, but do you know what I mean? I need to. It's it's a, it's a refreshing rain that washes everything away. Yeah. Are you saying that I'm not a desirable?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:17] I'm saying, I'm saying that it must be me. Who's making that.</p>
<p><strong>everyone: </strong>[00:57:21] No, no, no, no.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:25] It's, it's all the things I pick up on as a sensitive person. No, but as an outsider, I may choose to see things that way.</p>
<p>Oh, that like yesterday I was talking to Beth and KJ. We have one of our get-togethers and I started crying because of fireworks and parades. And what else were we talking about? KJ?</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:57:46] Balloons,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:47] balloons. And I started weeping. I'm like, guys, I don't know if I can live in a world with the fireworks and the balloons because nobody understands why I'm so upset.</p>
<p>Like why that makes [00:58:00] me so sad. Why the fireworks make me sad, you know? But I felt, I felt so, uh, weird. Having a cry, but it felt good, but I was thinking, Oh my God, I, I probably look insane.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:58:15] It's the acknowledgement of it. I think that also helps the release. I I'm grateful for these conversations. I'm so grateful that we have this opportunity to speak with open and human, um, souls here.</p>
<p>And yeah, like we said, it's not always the most comfortable topic. Um, but I'm so grateful that we're at least making space for it. So thank you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:58:52] Well first on re-emergence, I just want to say one thing really quickly that I've been thinking about with the pandemic and everything. [00:59:00] Um, what needs to be re-emerged in the future is education on lifestyle and nutrition. It just broke my heart to see all these people, so sick in the hospital, because they were very, very unhealthy and their immune systems were so devastatingly low.</p>
<p>And there's, there's a few things that so simple. If people don't want to change their diet, I can understand because it's a hard, scary thing to do, but they could at least do a certain things. Um, like vitamin D vitamin D is the cheapest vitamin out there. And they have done studies where they saw that people who died or were dying, had the lowest levels of vitamin DS.</p>
<p>The people that had COVID that had higher levels of vitamin D were sick, but they didn't die. Um, [01:00:00] so people just need to come in and get 180 bottle or 180 count of vitamin D for $5. And it could dramatically change their chances of getting through the COVID. So there's simple things like that. Um, we need to have education in schools about nutrition and it really needs to be done. Because there's the food industry out there is just killing everybody. So that's what frustrates me because I know it does not have to be that way and it's not that hard. And that's my passion because that's what I do in life. And. What I'm grateful for is also for me to have this passion to learn more every day so I can pass it on to other people and help other people with maybe just one little thing.</p>
<p>People go, Oh, I can't do it. It's too hard. I go, well, just try one thing, just, you know, and [01:01:00] then do maybe next week, do another thing, like try some kind of vegetable you've never, ever had before in your life. And I still do try to do that myself and, and um, that way, you know, it you're like, Oh my God, this is not bad.</p>
<p>This is pretty good. And so you make little changes or let's get rid of this bad thing that I'm eating, and then you might feel a little bit better. So it's taking the baby steps and trying to learn something and, you know, you might feel a little bit better. So, so those are my two emergence and gratitude together because there's so much that can be done still. I mean, people are still getting sick. The variants are still going on. I know people are getting the vaccines, but that's not the be-all and end-all or end all be all. However you say it. Um, we still need to take care of ourselves, so. Okay.</p>
<p>[01:02:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:59] Thank you. Thank you so much, Katie. Oh, so good.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[01:02:04] It's kind of my rant.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:05] I love it. It's funny how you guys were saying rants, but this is like pivotal, beautiful conversation.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[01:02:12] This is what passion. I just feel it's so strongly that I want to ...not hard. It's not hard. It's not, you can do it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:22] Yes! The tiniest thing creates the most amazing, beautiful feeling, right?</p>
<p>Whether it's a one strawberry or one little blueberry, it does make a difference.  Well I'm actually excited about heading out. Eventually I even bought myself a dress that I wore inside our apartment and it made a huge difference in my outlook on life. A little $7 dress that I got on sale.</p>
<p>That's it guys. I mean, is there any thing anyone else wants to say to wrap this up [01:03:00] with? I want to thank everybody. Nii thank you so much. My God, you've gone through three different locations while we've been talking. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:10] And that's real life.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:12] That is life. That is real life. Thank you Nii thank you, Katie.</p>
<p>Thank you, KJ. Thank you, Matt!.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:19] Thank you, Fawn!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:21] It always weirds me out when you call me by my first name. Stop it. Um, okay. We shall see everyone in a few days. Okay.  Thank you again, everyone's info is on our show notes and on our website tune. In next week. We'll see you soon. Bye everybody. Bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This roundtable is about the physiological feat that’s necessary for survival; hibernation, and the various forms we go within and “slumber” to regain not only life, but understanding. And then we discuss the ways in which we reemerge and blossom.
How do we come out of our slumber spiritually, emotionally and physically after the time we have just lived through?
We share all the different ways in nature we go within (from all the different periods of time animals hibernate, to being an introvert, a society going through dark times, to living inside of a pandemic) and all the different ways we can reemerge and come out better and more powerful.
We talk about the meaning of renaissance (rebirth from Latin) and how throughout history we have come out of the darkness, and reemerged with art and imagination and created societies with greater knowledge of spirituality, ingenuity, creativity, ambition, scholarly feats, and awakening to a beautiful world.
We are entering a new world that we are building together.
This roundtable is about the physiological feat that’s necessary for survival; hibernation, and the various forms we go within and “slumber” to regain not only life, but understanding. And then we discuss the ways in which we reemerge and blossom.
How do we come out of our slumber spiritually, emotionally and physically after the time we have just lived through?
We share all the different ways in nature we go within (from all the different periods of time animals hibernate, to being an introvert, a society going through dark times, to living inside of a pandemic) and all the different ways we can reemerge and come out better and more powerful.
We talk about the meaning of renaissance (rebirth from Latin) and how throughout history we have come out of the darkness, and reemerged with art and imagination and created societies with greater knowledge of spirituality, ingenuity, creativity, ambition, scholarly feats, and awakening to a beautiful world.
We are entering a new world that we are building together.
 
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] All right, everyone. Welcome to connected our round table of friends showing how truly interconnected we all are. Today's topic is reemergence reemergence.
 A sperm whale can spend around 90 minutes hunting underwater before coming back to surface to breathe .Different types of whales, spend different amounts of time underwater and some go deeper than others.
What's interesting about whales is they exhale first, getting rid of all the stale air in their lungs before taking in fresh clean air, a fresh, clean breath. As humans, we tend to breathe in first and then exhale, leaving a lot of stale air in our lungs. So as humans, we absorb only 5% of the oxygen in a single breath. [00:01:00] A whale can absorb as much as 90% of oxygen in each breath.
Today I tried to totally exhale, exhale, exhale, as much as I could. And when you think you can't do some more and then naturally you start getting all the air coming in and then you slowly exhale and it feels amazing, with just one breath, it's amazing how you get this rush in your brain of like, you just get a rush. And I got a little bit dizzy myself
 So, volcanoes, volcanoes can be dormant for 10,000 years until they have their reemergence.  There's  a physiological feat that's necessary for animal survival, and that is a hibernation. Another kind of reemergence that can happen is through hibernation.
Check this out. Bears can hibernate from anywhere between five and six [00:02:00] months without moving from their den. Also, there are other animals like box turtles who hibernate three to four months, wood frogs for three months, common poor wills, one to three months of hibernation, bats hibernate some of them for up to six months, Bumble bees hiberna...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Roundtable.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:04:33</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Keep the Faith]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 16 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/keep-the-faith</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/keep-the-faith</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong> Keep the Faith – episode 41</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.</p>
<p><strong>Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica –</strong> The rollerblading knight in shining armor who told Fawn to stop crying and to have Faith.</p>
<p><strong>Hall of Fame Quotes from this episode:</strong></p>
<p><strong><u>On feeling bad or having a bad day:</u></strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> …everybody has those moments and those days. And I think it's so important during those days to take us back that we really take a look at and really hopefully try and remember those moments of kindness from the past and hold ourselves open to those moments of kindness coming to us in the future.</p>
<p><strong>On being open to kindness:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “…it seems like I refused to make myself vulnerable to anything and anyone. And so nobody could really give me an act of kindness because I didn't even allow them the opportunity to even understand what that may look like, because I was so like guarded and angry.”</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong>  “…it can be interesting the way an act of kindness can get magnified; Just the tiniest little thing.”</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong>  “You never know where your kindness is going and you never know if your kindness will rebound on you, which is why you should be kind.”</p>
<p><strong>Matt</strong>: “kindness is one of those things that grows. And sometimes you don't even know why things are going well, but we'd like to say like attracts, like, and what you focus on grows. So if you focus on kindness, if you focus on helping people, if you focus on, in those moments, hopefully, and we've experienced it in those moments where you need people to be kind, when you're in that situation, as I like to say, Battlestar Galactica, quote out there for you, sometimes you gotta roll the hard six.  When you're in those situations, if you have been kind in the past and you're drawing in kindness, then you know, hopefully you will receive it. Because you're focused on kind.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “A smile and a nod makes you feel good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>MixPre-238</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our friendly worlds.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:04] Welcome. Welcome!.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:05] Hello. Kindness comes from the old English word, kindness, meaning nation</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:13] (Matt laughs) kindness comes from kindness.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:15] I know don't you love the dictionaries, but this is the etymology of it. Let me start over. Kindness comes from the old English word kynd. This it's actually KYNDNES.</p>
<p>Yeah. K Y N D N E S. Meaning nation or produce increase. The word is further derived from the middle English word, kindness, meaning noble deeds or courtesy.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:46] I just have to lau...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.
 
TRANSCRIPT: Keep the Faith – episode 41
Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.
Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica – The rollerblading knight in shining armor who told Fawn to stop crying and to have Faith.
Hall of Fame Quotes from this episode:
On feeling bad or having a bad day:
Matt: …everybody has those moments and those days. And I think it's so important during those days to take us back that we really take a look at and really hopefully try and remember those moments of kindness from the past and hold ourselves open to those moments of kindness coming to us in the future.
On being open to kindness:
Matt: “…it seems like I refused to make myself vulnerable to anything and anyone. And so nobody could really give me an act of kindness because I didn't even allow them the opportunity to even understand what that may look like, because I was so like guarded and angry.”
Matt:  “…it can be interesting the way an act of kindness can get magnified; Just the tiniest little thing.”
Matt:  “You never know where your kindness is going and you never know if your kindness will rebound on you, which is why you should be kind.”
Matt: “kindness is one of those things that grows. And sometimes you don't even know why things are going well, but we'd like to say like attracts, like, and what you focus on grows. So if you focus on kindness, if you focus on helping people, if you focus on, in those moments, hopefully, and we've experienced it in those moments where you need people to be kind, when you're in that situation, as I like to say, Battlestar Galactica, quote out there for you, sometimes you gotta roll the hard six.  When you're in those situations, if you have been kind in the past and you're drawing in kindness, then you know, hopefully you will receive it. Because you're focused on kind.”
 
Matt: “A smile and a nod makes you feel good.”
 
 
 
MixPre-238
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our friendly worlds.
Matt: [00:00:04] Welcome. Welcome!.
Fawn: [00:00:05] Hello. Kindness comes from the old English word, kindness, meaning nation
Matt: [00:00:13] (Matt laughs) kindness comes from kindness.
Fawn: [00:00:15] I know don't you love the dictionaries, but this is the etymology of it. Let me start over. Kindness comes from the old English word kynd. This it's actually KYNDNES.
Yeah. K Y N D N E S. Meaning nation or produce increase. The word is further derived from the middle English word, kindness, meaning noble deeds or courtesy.
Matt: [00:00:46] I just have to lau...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Keep the Faith]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>41</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong> Keep the Faith – episode 41</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.</p>
<p><strong>Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica –</strong> The rollerblading knight in shining armor who told Fawn to stop crying and to have Faith.</p>
<p><strong>Hall of Fame Quotes from this episode:</strong></p>
<p><strong><u>On feeling bad or having a bad day:</u></strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> …everybody has those moments and those days. And I think it's so important during those days to take us back that we really take a look at and really hopefully try and remember those moments of kindness from the past and hold ourselves open to those moments of kindness coming to us in the future.</p>
<p><strong>On being open to kindness:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “…it seems like I refused to make myself vulnerable to anything and anyone. And so nobody could really give me an act of kindness because I didn't even allow them the opportunity to even understand what that may look like, because I was so like guarded and angry.”</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong>  “…it can be interesting the way an act of kindness can get magnified; Just the tiniest little thing.”</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong>  “You never know where your kindness is going and you never know if your kindness will rebound on you, which is why you should be kind.”</p>
<p><strong>Matt</strong>: “kindness is one of those things that grows. And sometimes you don't even know why things are going well, but we'd like to say like attracts, like, and what you focus on grows. So if you focus on kindness, if you focus on helping people, if you focus on, in those moments, hopefully, and we've experienced it in those moments where you need people to be kind, when you're in that situation, as I like to say, Battlestar Galactica, quote out there for you, sometimes you gotta roll the hard six.  When you're in those situations, if you have been kind in the past and you're drawing in kindness, then you know, hopefully you will receive it. Because you're focused on kind.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “A smile and a nod makes you feel good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>MixPre-238</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our friendly worlds.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:04] Welcome. Welcome!.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:05] Hello. Kindness comes from the old English word, kindness, meaning nation</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:13] (Matt laughs) kindness comes from kindness.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:15] I know don't you love the dictionaries, but this is the etymology of it. Let me start over. Kindness comes from the old English word kynd. This it's actually KYNDNES.</p>
<p>Yeah. K Y N D N E S. Meaning nation or produce increase. The word is further derived from the middle English word, kindness, meaning noble deeds or courtesy.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:46] I just have to laugh once again, coming from the word kindness,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:49] noble deeds or a courtesy. Why do I keep. Beating up the mic lately. Okay. So at least the mic, Stan, why are we talking [00:01:00] about this again?</p>
<p>One it's really inspired by our friend Barry. Oh my goodness. The previous episodes. And Barry's been reaching out to me, especially since we live in the city we live in and we have had the tremendous violence mass shooting and just the way he's been reaching out to me. And he's the, the ambassador of kindness.</p>
<p>So why are we talking about it? Especially since before we got onto the mics, I was saying, you know what?  It's been weeks now. I haven't been feeling it guys. I'm not feeling terribly optimistic and terribly as a wrong word for it.</p>
<p>I've been feeling hopeful here and there, but for the most part, I just, I just want to cry. I just want to weep, I am constantly apologizing to our children for the state of the world. Right,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:01:52] right. And it seems like there's been a lot to apologize for, in addition, I think we're at our one year Mark, as far [00:02:00] as being sequestered.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:01] It's been over a year now.</p>
<p>It's been over a year. And even before that, even before the pandemic, you know, we're especially sensitive to the injustices of the world, because I'm always looking at what's happening around the world, not just in the United States and because I do, so do our little girls, right. They're very aware of other countries, other leaders.</p>
<p>They know, pretty much most of Congress, Senate, like all the leaders there. What other little girls do you know that are like, totally like on it?</p>
<p>. I don't know, very many older boys and older girls like adults is what I'm talking about. Right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:48] I guess.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:49] And I'm apologizing to them because,  we are the hosts.  We brought them in. And I know there's a thought that definitely everyone chooses to come into [00:03:00] the time and the kind of life that they're in, you know, it's a chosen, but my God, I mean, I just look at their faces and look at their expressions when w I mean, every day, guys in the United States, every day, there's a mass shooting, and most of them do not get reported.</p>
<p>And.  Talking to folks like your parents, they are like, this is the best country in the world. We are the best. We're number one. And I was, I got to say, I was proud of our Elle, who immediately without skipping a beat; do you remember her sentence when your dad was like, yeah, well, why would you want to live anywhere else, because we have the greatest economy, the most stable economy, and without skipping a beat, our little girl says, well, okay, if you think we have the most stable economy, we sure do not have the most [00:04:00] stable people. Right. She said something like that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:03] Yes, comparing economy to people. And, and frankly, I think, any country around the world can tout itself up as being the best in something.</p>
<p>This is where it gets tricky.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:16] It's just, it's gotten to the absurd level of arrogance. Well, I can't take it anymore.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:23] Again, I think  it's the belief that "the way I choose to live is the best way" period. And I'm (Fawn says that's dangerous). I'm very careful. And I always talk about the Toa of Matt, or the way of Matt and, you know, those are the things I do that work for me, as opposed to  saying "everyone else needs to live exactly the way I live, because it's the only, it's the best..."</p>
<p>it's the et cetera, et cetera. I mean, (Fawn says that's dangerous).</p>
<p>You know,  we were at work and  just to be flip for a second, but we were talking at work and, , the question came up, ' what's the best movie?" Well, the best movie is "The Seven [00:05:00] Samurai" but , let's move past that. It's like, yeah, but what if you don't want to watch a four hour movie?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:05] Akira Kurosawa</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:08] with subtitle</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:09] right</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:10] black and white.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:10] Wasn't there a Tom cruise, seven samurai, ? Not</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:13] That was  "Last Samurai", completely different.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:15] Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:16] Yes.  Completely different movie, but it's like, you know, your scale and by the way, feel free to disagree with me because obviously you can talk about "The Godfather part two". You can talk about that Rosebud or that Rosebud movie you can talk about... you can go on and on and on, but ultimately speaking, the best movie is the movie that is going to give me the most joy, most peace, most inspiration, most happiness, right at this moment.  And trying to determine what that is; wow. And you know what I'm going to say by and large for most people, most of the time, "Seven Samurai" ain't it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:55] Right. Well, I kept saying it's dangerous to have that thought [00:06:00] form; that thought; the way of thinking of "My way's the best way,", because that doesn't leave room for exploring other things in life and exploring other ideas and exploring other ways; like "this is it my way, that's it".</p>
<p>And I think that's why people grow old and dead is because you're not growing. You're not even allowing for any other possibility in life. And isn't that what makes you stiff and brittle as opposed to bending with the wind, like bamboo?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:34] True,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:35] because life is always changing. And right now the world is totally changing, I hope for the better, right. And to stay so firm in your stance like that, when we're trying to say, Hey, let's fix this or let's talk about this. And you're not even going to, because in your mind, this is it. We're the best . It is ridiculous.  It's [00:07:00] causing harm on so many levels.</p>
<p>And it's also creating more divide because certainly we don't,  we can't have conversations like that every single time.  If you're not going to  bend with the wind and  listen to other ideas, what do we have here?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:17] Right. We have a brick wall, you know, honestly,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:22] Well, okay.  This is why I've been feeling sad and honestly, creatively, I've just been feeling like why bother. And I've always said when people in society, when the society feels that way, that's kind of bad news right there because you're not creating and I am still creating, but I have to be honest, I don't feel, I don't know.</p>
<p>I don't know what, I can't even tell you what it is I'm feeling beside the sadness, I feel disappointment. And I feel like, are we ever going to get out of [00:08:00] this?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:00] Right. Right. And there are moments that are hard and  it's especially, I think hard inside of a culture, which, everybody is showing everybody how they're  living their best lives -woo hoo. And I really think we need to stop. And we even really need to take a serious hard look at those people who, perhaps we regard as our heroes and have an understanding that even these people that we feel lived a charmed life and dadadada da, they went through stuff too.</p>
<p>A lot of people have been through a lot of stuff and a lot of people continue to go through stuff. And a lot of people kind of live inside of stuff while representing things perhaps a little differently</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:39] are you're talking about, are you talking about like how Oh, sensei would get mad and he's definitely someone you would think, even though he's the head of the martial arts movement of the way of peace, the way of peace folks that, you know, he taught us.</p>
<p>He was the founder of, Aikido. But he would get pissed off and  had [00:09:00] tantrums.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:00] Everybody has moments. You know, my, my favorite author is Herman Hesse  that guy who wrote "Siddhartha", he wrote Nobel peace prize for literature in 1946. "Magister Ludi: The Glass Bead Game". He wrote "Steppenwolf", which of course is where the band took the name from because they didn't really understand the book, whole other story.</p>
<p>He wrote "Demian". Well, he also wrote a book of poetry  when he turned 50, because he saw turning 50 as this watershed moment where he should truly be, this is after he wrote "Siddhartha", blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, where he should now be in that place of continual bliss and continual peace.</p>
<p>And the poem begins. He wrote a whole, he wrote a slender volume of poems that got published. I don't necessarily think he wanted that to happen, but he did give copies to all of his friends at Christmas, but the poem begins.: "I was invited out that night. But Christ I wasn't feeling right. My head was filled with last night's dregs and surely the shooting pains in my legs boated [00:10:00] no good, no good at all." And it keeps going and he talks about going to the party and somebody's playing the piano, but they're playing it like shite. And then he leaves it early and he goes off looking for looking to get drunk basically. And that's this poem and people are like, but you're the guy who wrote Siddhartha because it's this great illuminating, like the life of the Buddha and how he becomes inspired. Everybody has their moments.</p>
<p>And here's another one. I remember reading a story. Oh my goodness. So Neil Armstrong that guy, and I think it was Neil Armstrong. It was certainly wasn't astronaut was going up the steps to some building and somebody came out of the crowd, got up all in his face and screamed at him:  the moon landings never happened. You're so full of, blah, blah, blah. Neil Armstrong, basically a Superman because that's the astronauts. Those are the astronauts. Certainly of that era hit him in the face. He was like 60. Hit him in the [00:11:00] face, knocked him down. Stuff happens. You know, everybody has those moments</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:05] and we're not condoning violence here. Let's get that straight. We're not, We're not,  (Matt says "absolutely not!")</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:10] I'm just showing how this figure political figure; he was a Senator at one point, he can get wound up and that's what happens. And, you know, everybody has those moments in those days. And I think it's so important during those days to take us back that we really take a look at and really hopefully try and remember those moments of kindness from the past and hold ourselves open to those moments of kindness coming to us in the future.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:40] So we were struggling with a show for today and I'm like:  I just don't feel it. I'm sorry.  Maybe we shouldn't and then, of course I have the promise of no matter what ,we're going to be here for you, no matter what, we're going to continue. So here I am, I'm going to continue, even though I feel the way I do today [00:12:00] and the past weeks.</p>
<p> So I guess what we're going to do is focus on the stories of kindness that we've had examples of . And hopefully we'll remember enough to get out of this funk. And  I'll start with Santa Monica. A nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: I remember being on the boardwalk. So the boardwalk is this concrete, like loopy, concrete, it's not a sidewalk, but it's a place you can roller blade, like pretty much on the sand, but it's on concrete. You can roller blade, walk, ride your bike. And at a certain point, it goes under the Santa Monica bridge. Right. It's a little skanky in there too. Exactly. So I think I was there. I don't remember exactly where I was, but I was leaning on something and I was on the boardwalk and I was crying [00:13:00] again, kind of like how I'm feeling now.</p>
<p> I was just like, man, what, what the, what the heck, man, I was not feeling terribly inspired. I was crying and this guy showed up. And all the years that I was in Santa Monica, I saw this guy maybe three times. Okay. All right. That I know of. All right. So here I am. I'm totally crying. By myself and out of the blue, it wasn't terribly crowded. It was probably the middle of the week. The middle of the day out of the blue comes this guy on roller blades, dressed in armor, a Knight in shining armor, head to toe. Yes. Head to toe like</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:47] That must hurt, if he falls.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:49] It wasn't one of those medieval ones that you see,  hanging out with a sword.</p>
<p> He had a flexibility. Do you know what I mean?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:13:56] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:56] He wasn't completely covered in armor. [00:14:00] That would be horrible because it's hot, but, and he's rollerblading. Right? So here it comes a Knight in shining armor, whizzing past me, making eye contact with me. And he started yelling at me like something like  stop crying.</p>
<p>And he told me to have faith. And then he whizzed. By that was it. That is the nugget of wisdom for today is to have faith. Let's start with some stories I can start. Should I start, should I go me one, you one or me two you two and</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:14:37] let's see where we go.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:38] Okay. So it's funny because I'm sure there are probably millions of acts of kindness that  were given to me.</p>
<p>One that sticks out has to do with pastries. When I was little, when I was like six years old for quite a while, my family and I had to live in [00:15:00] a motel.  And it was a hard time for sure. I was six years old and we were just trying to figure things out. We were new to this country and we didn't know anyone.</p>
<p>Things were hard.  It was hard. It was lonely. And one day, um, this motel room was pretty cool.  And it had a kitchen and the kitchen had a separate door to it. And one day we, I guess my mother opened the door to the kitchen area and she's like, what is this? And then there was like this commotion in our family, like a happy one, like, what is this?</p>
<p>Who will do this? Why is this here? Is it safe? And what is it and why who did this? And guys, it was a pastry box. And it was from what, after this, we realized it was, um, from the neighborhood there was within that neighborhood close by. There [00:16:00] was  a French pastry shop. And I think that's where it came from.</p>
<p>And so we had never seen a pastry like this before. So we were, you know, we were new to that area and we certainly didn't know about certain pastries in the United States, especially like Persian, not person, I'm sorry, but Parisian Parisian pastries in the United States. So it was, the box was opened and it was the most beautiful, very large, it's not a cake, I don't know what it's called, but it's one of my favorite pastries. It has  puff pastry on the bottom and it has the cream and then like a jello jelly on top with rows of different colored fruit. Do you know which one I'm talking about? I think it's a French pastry and it's very shiny and very colorful and delicious, and [00:17:00] we never figured it out, or I never did.</p>
<p>I don't know if anyone in the family ever did. We'd never figured out who left that there. Like, I think there was a knock and then they ran away and then there was that beautiful box. And, you know, nowadays I w I, you know, I'd be scared. I'm like, is this poisoned? Like, what is this? Right. It brought such happiness to our little dreary world back then, but that was it.</p>
<p>I think that's probably, what's inspired me my whole life about pastries, that it just brings about such hope</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:34] and such like change in attitudes so quickly, too,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:37] so quickly. Like it just makes you forget. Right. And it just makes you realize, Hey, what a wonderful gift, a delicious, delicious in many ways than just tasting upon your tongue.</p>
<p>But the deliciousness of an act of kindness, an offering from someone. So that's why I think I've become so [00:18:00] obsessed with pastries. And that's why I started my own pastry company, you know, all of that. And my whole, my whole thing about the pretty pink box that no matter where you are in the world, whatever's happening, you could be the world leaders having major war. But if someone walks into that room, you're all in, as these leaders; someone walks in with that pink box, most of the time, everyone knows exactly what it is. It's a beautiful treat in there. Right. So that's one story I have. Do you want me to go on? I can go on</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:18:39] please.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:41] Um, let's see. Here's something that I do that I learned a long time ago.</p>
<p> Every time I see, or hear an ambulance or a firetruck. And now police, I ask for angels to go help the people that need help. So they, they will be safe and [00:19:00] protected,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:00] right? Yeah. No, every time. Um, yeah, I see an ambulance or a paramedic truck for sure. I always say, God speed.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:07] Yeah. I asked for specific angels, God, please immediately help help this person, whoever needs help.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:15] Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:17] Have I told you guys about the super shuttle guy?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:20] I don't think so.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:21] When I was 18, right upon graduation, it was my time to finally escape the crazy family. And I had worked all throughout junior high and high school saved up enough cash to take myself to university to college and.</p>
<p> My family was horrible about it too. Like I was totally on my own guys, completely on my own. And I packed the bags that I had of clothes and,  notebooks, whatever I needed, whatever I had gathered up for myself to survive [00:20:00] on my own. Right. And I flew to San Francisco and I was accepted into this really hard to get to art school.</p>
<p>It was also a very, very expensive and  I got accepted, which was a big deal. And I had to find a place to live. I had, I had to do everything on my own, like spur of the moment. Like I had to figure out okay, that night, where am I going to go? I knew I had a name and address of  a youth hostel type situation.</p>
<p>I didn't know where it was. I didn't know anything about it. I arrived at the San Francisco airport. I got my luggage and I couldn't for the life of me, get anyone to give me a ride. No super shuttles would stop for me because I had so many bags and I didn't re upon reflection, now, I really didn't have that many bags.</p>
<p>I don't know what the deal was. Right. It took me forever and  the sun was setting. I had been there for, I think, a [00:21:00] good hour waiting for a ride by myself, 18 years old. Right. Tiny right. And, um, I, I had lost hope. I was like, this is horrible. I don't know what to do. And I just sat there cause I was tired.</p>
<p>Right. I sat on one of the big pieces of luggage that I had and I think I started crying. And then all of a sudden, um, this, the super shuttle shows up.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:25] Bom bom bom!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:27] At this point I was used to it because they would stop. They would look at me or ask me where I was going.  I would tell them, but they would, they would say, can't help you.</p>
<p>And then they would drive away. So I thought the same thing would've happened.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:41] Man!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:42] And maybe they thought I was a runaway because I looked so young. Right. You know, I'm sorry. So emotional. So anyway, this guy asked me where I was going and I told him. I thought he would  just drive away. But he didn't, he came out.</p>
<p>He was like, well, let me help you come [00:22:00] here. You know, like he took the luggage and so he asked for my story, and I told him, sorry. (Fawn begins to cry)</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:09] Oh dear. We're getting emotional on this one folks.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:11] So he said, okay, I'll drive you there. But since you're new here, I want you to learn what San Francisco is all about. So I'll give you a tour. So he, he drove around San Francisco and showed me all the pretty spots. But most importantly, he showed me where not to go.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:36] Gotcha.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:36] So he said, I don't want you to go to this neighborhood right here. This is what it's called and don't go here. And this is the Tenderloin and you know, definitely don't walk here by yourself after a certain time.</p>
<p>And this was a long time ago. So I don't know if the Tenderloin is still that way. It's probably a hip happening,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:22:58] everything cycles. Right.</p>
<p>[00:23:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:01] But not only did he do this for me, but when we got to that youth hostel, he asked me to wait. He went in and asked for the manager. He asked for the manager to come out and they were talking for quite a while.</p>
<p>And what I found out later was he told the manager, you better look out for this girl. I want you to take good care of her, you hear me? And he just totally set me up.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:28] Nice.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:30] You should go. Cause I've started to cry. I have other stories though,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:33] but now all of a sudden, now my story sounds so pithy, but we'll still go for it.</p>
<p>When I was 16, I was hanging out with my mates. This would be Vince and  Dave. We were the three Musketeers life was simple. Life was good. Went to an Iron Maiden concert. Oh, love the Iron Maiden. Before I went, I was talking with one of my friends from high school and he mentioned, if you follow the one of the tour buses, it'll take you to a great party.</p>
<p>So we were like, [00:24:00] Oh, so we did like, we were, we were ended up driving probably about 90 miles at absurd speeds because tour buses don't know how to go slow anyways. All of a sudden the bus stopped. And this is after we ran red lights and all sorts of fun things to keep up with this bus, the bus stopped and the door opened and a figure walked out.</p>
<p>I couldn't see really what was going on. Cause I was driving and went inside of this building. It was a, it was like a condos in Hollywood. And my buddy Vince, I think was riding shotgun. And he's like, Oh my God. I was like, what? That was Steve Harris? Oh, Steve Harris bass player Iron Maiden my favorite member at that point of Iron Maiden.</p>
<p>Probably my favorite member of Iron Maiden. Now I don't even think I put the car in park. I [00:25:00] took the keys out of the ignition. We were parked. We were in the middle of this, left the lights on open after</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:05] You left the car in the middle of the street? What?!!</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:07] Yes, I did..</p>
<p>This is what 16 is. And plus like we're talking like in, in Matt's, Pantheon of cool and Matt's Pantheon of heroes at that moment in time, he was at the tippy top.</p>
<p>There wasn't, there was nobody else there. And this had nothing to do with me, actually seeing him on the street or anything. I mean, this has to do this is how I felt. I mean, phenomenal, just all around performer. Now this was before I learned how to gauge people on all levels, et cetera, et cetera. So there is a certain Naivete to it, and anyways, and I ran for that front door, punched it open, like he was walking towards an elevator and I said, I yelled Steve.</p>
<p>And he turned [00:26:00] around, looked me right in the face and smiled. Oh, he was tired. It was past midnight. He had performed a show. He stopped for a minute. He talked to me and I couldn't say three words to him. Intelligibly. I'm not kidding. Signed autographs. I got one for, I think, I think Dave, I think no Vince was being responsible.</p>
<p>Vince stayed in the car. Dave actually ran behind me. So Dave and I met him.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:31] Oh, poor Vince.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:32] Signed autographs for us. Oh my goodness.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:36] Did he sign one for Vince?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:38] I had him sign one for Vince. Yes, but Oh my goodness. Cause he could have just run for the elevator. He could adjust.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:45] Do you still have it?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:46] Of course I do please. Of course I don't even, that's not even a valid question to even ask. I had asked for scraps of paper and a pen so we could write it for us. I mean, and I was just sitting there going, but, but, [00:27:00] but you're Steve Harris, but, but, and that was all that was going through my head. You know? Oh my God. Yeah. So anyways, that was, you know, that was a moment of that.</p>
<p>He, you know, that's a moment where somebody can choose to be kind or choose to not be kind and, you know, he chose to be kind.</p>
<p>Okay.</p>
<p>And that's a lot of  it because I think we all have these inflection points in these moments. Um, I'll bring up another one. Uh, perhaps not making me look so good. Um, my senior year in high school, , I was smart, , going to college, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</p>
<p>But I was being smart and you had to have two years of sciences to, to apply to a UC schools. At that point, I went to UC Santa Cruz, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I was being super smart about it. And everybody I knew who took chemistry, ended up with a C or an F. And so I was like, I ain't doing that. [00:28:00] I took biology.</p>
<p>Did fairly well, and it got BS. Um, and then I was like, I'm not taking chemistry because everybody fails it. Cause it's super hard. I'll take physics. Instead. Physics had a math requirement, but I had covered that. So that puts me in Mr. Phil Elliot's class. Unfortunately I was a senior. It was my last class of the day and my buddy Vince and I would constantly cut because his last class, the day, the teacher didn't</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:31] you have to explain what cut means to other countries that are listening to us.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:35] Sorry. Uh, to say you're cutting school or cutting class means you don't go. So you go off and have adventures and have fun instead of sitting in a classroom. Now, this is wonderful for your socialization. This is wonderful for,  for your suntan. This is wonderful for, your fun level, what, it's not wonderful for are your grades.</p>
<p>So anyways, so by the [00:29:00] end of, and this was, I had it's called senior-itis, so I was a senior in high school. So I was kind of done being in traditional school.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:08] It's your last year and that kind of prison</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:11] of stuff in that, we're going to make you take these courses and you don't have any choices.</p>
<p>And you're in school all day, every day, Monday through Friday. And  it's a cakewalk, frankly, but it seems like this insurmountable mountain when you're,  when you don't know any differently,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:27] well, it's a cakewalk for students like you, for me, it was excruciating. It was awful.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:33] Well, I'm saying in hindsight it was a cakewalk because we believed it was just.</p>
<p>Torture, you know? Cause we don't, we,  you don't know, we don't have that context,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:41] But  you are a very good student. You always happen. I can read it again. And so for you, it was a cakewalk for me. It was down to the minute if I was graduating or not.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:50] Well, hence my stories,hence  my story.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:53] Okay. Sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:54] So anyways, it was so bad. He made frozen yogurt for one of the school clubs. It was [00:30:00] probably a physics lab. I don't remember. And he would sell it during lunch and I had his class right after lunch. And then that was my last class of the day. And some days I would go around, I would see him, I would talk to him during lunch and then I just wouldn't be in his class.</p>
<p>I mean, that's how bad I was. That's how bad we were. So anyways, so, um, I was failing his class.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:23] Oh my God, you were?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:24] I was because I wasn't there enough, frankly.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:27] Right.</p>
<p> <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:27] Phil grace of God. Gave me a C.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:30] Wow.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:32] So without that, "C", I don't know what would have happened to my entire future.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:37] Wow.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:39] I have no idea,  and I have a couple of moments where it's like, what were you thinking? and that would be one of them. And that has to do with kindness.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:49] He probably saw the inner turmoil that you</p>
<p>had.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:30:52] God knows. I did.</p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
<p>I was the only long hair in every single one of my classes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:58] I had a teacher like that too. She gave me a [00:31:00] D where I was definitely failing upon graduation. I had never told her anything, but she knew. Right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:06] So, yeah. So that was a, an act of kindness ;from both from high school, which is weird because when I was going through and really thinking about moments of kindness that I really had had, they're either really teeny, tiny, small, or they happen well after high school, it seems like  I refused to make myself vulnerable to anything and anyone. And so nobody could really give me an act of kindness because I didn't even allow them the opportunity to even understand what that may look like, because I was so like guarded and angry my entire kind of, career.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:40] Well, in situations like that,</p>
<p> You're raw and you're exposed. So when you're going through stuff, it's easier to just be guarded and keep going about life, all calloused up,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:53] right. Or cynical</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:54] so that you don't have to feel all those raw emotions .</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:59] Right</p>
<p>[00:32:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:00] if you keep  guarded, you're more desensitized to it.</p>
<p>It's like having a big scab. If you run your fingers on it, you don't really feel it. You don't feel your skin underneath. It's survival mechanism</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:11] very much. Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. And every time I think about it and I don't choose to think about it very often, cause I, I do not, I do not feel I come off particularly well in my story, but Oh my God, that was so very, very kind of him because God knows just the entire trajectory of my life would have been different.</p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:32] Well, I know you, so I, you do come across well to me because I know your story. I know the battles that you had to fight back then. And   you're just a sweet kid, you know, he, and he saw that, Oh,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:47] I like to think so.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:49] You may have looked like very tough and everything .</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:52] Oh my goodness, I thought I was the toughest thing ever.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:54] No, I mean, pictures of you, I obviously didn't know you back then, but pictures of you looked like crazy [00:33:00] tough.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:01] Well, that was the aesthetic.</p>
<p>Yeah, but not very many people actually carried it off like that. Like w yeah, you didn't want to mess with you, like nobody, but, um, but yeah, it's hard to it's you can definitely, it's hard to suddenly release the gates and be exposed emotionally.</p>
<p>Right? Absolutely. And, and honestly, I think that's one of the few stories I could tell about somebody being kind to me that I hadn't made myself vulnerable, which is what made things so interesting.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:34] Yeah. We talk about  going about your day and when someone shows you any kind of kindness and it could be the smallest thing that makes you suddenly break down and cry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:33:42] Right?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:43] Okay, so there are so many stories. I remember if it's my turn to talk, it is people have done, I really don't want to talk about hospitals cause it's, we've had so much trauma there. But we did have angels that took care of us when Elle was [00:34:00] born.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:00] Yeah, absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:01] There was one particular nurse who saw what was happening, who saw the injustices left, and right that were happening to us. And I remember her  protesting to the powers that be the ,hospital saying, if you don't take care of this family, I'm going to take them to my house.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:21] Right. Right. Now we were in the hospital when Elle was born for two, two weeks, two of the</p>
<p>longest weeks of my life. Um, we were, we weren't in the NICU knock on wood, but we were one step removed.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:34] And that was only because the NICU was overcrowded. That was the only reason they brought in the spiritual people they bring in when someone's about to pass, like all that was happening. Like it was, it was horrible and it lasted every day for two weeks, it was awful. And, and we were both kind of at that situation. [00:35:00] And for me, it was an emergency C-section that like split open and the doctors still didn't want to  help us out.</p>
<p>And you had to like, say she is infected it, split open look, and they wouldn't give us the time of day. It was ridiculous. And not only that, then they were trying to discharge me saying, okay, it's time for you to go. I'm like I, and I had an open wound from a C-section like split open. Right. And so for two weeks, I had to sit in a chair next to the, whatever the NICU stuff that they had with Elle, in a chair, I had to sit up.</p>
<p>It was, it was awful. But  there were two nurses, three nurses actually that totally helped us out. But one in particular. Oh my God. I'm just going to be crying all episode. Let me just, uh,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:54] that was, you're talking about nurse Sophie,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:56] right? Yeah. Sophie, which was strange [00:36:00] because we that's what we were thinking of naming Elle before Elle was conceived.</p>
<p>Right. We thought we were going to have a daughter named Sophie, Sophia, Sophia.</p>
<p> Another thing of kindness. I've talked about this before, buthow in other  other countries, people are, people seem to really pay attention. In this country, we ignore people that are upset. We ignore people who are crying for the most part.</p>
<p>Most people do, but I was in England at a tea shop and I was crying by myself. And of course being American, I didn't think anyone would think anything of it that I was crying. And it wasn't like I was loud or anything. Just quiet tears, just rolling down my face.</p>
<p>I was sitting down and all these women, older women were surrounding me like a band of angels. Right. So  concerned over my tears, like, why are you crying? [00:37:00] They just want it to help. It was so sweet act of kindness.</p>
<p>These are all small, but like that touched me forever.</p>
<p>, When I was on one of my big photo shoots, I was headed from LA to Newark.  I didn't know what Newark was. I thought Newark was actually New York. I didn't know that. I didn't know. I didn't know that I was actually in New Jersey. I arrived there past midnight to a very crowded airport.</p>
<p>And then all of a sudden, within minutes, everyone disappeared. And I was the only one left there with a 90 pound backpack. on me right. It's hard to talk because I've been crying. So I'm standing there . All you could see from behind was  a tiny portion of my legs. That's it. Because my backpack was so huge. It was  filled with photography equipment and some power bars and some [00:38:00] clothes. That's that's about it. A sleeping bag on top and a tent. Anyway,  there was no one at this airport. I didn't know what to do. And I thought, Oh my God, where am I? Like, I thought this was New York.</p>
<p>Like, what happened?!.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:15] Like you'll just go through the, go through the Gates and, or, you know, step outside. And it's like, Oh, there's the Empire State Building...</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:21] Well, I just, no, no, no, no. It wasn't that, because I had been to New York before, but I was looking for the airport, like where the shops man? Like there was nothing around my goodness.</p>
<p>Nothing, no nothing. And it was, it was past midnight. And now I'm the only one there. It was really very strange and I didn't know what to do. And I thought, Oh my God, I guess I'll have to sleep here until my next  flight.</p>
<p>Well, you had your sleeping bag and you had a tent, so you're in good shape.</p>
<p>No!</p>
<p>Can't do that? Get arrested! But I just thought, okay. I'll just  lean on this chair against the wall and  wait for the [00:39:00] morning to come. But the thing is what I had, like an over a 24 hour layover. Until my flight for Ethiopia.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:08] So you knew something, you were going to have to do something there, but you thought, well,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:13] I thought I would get out of the airport and find a hotel somewhere, but there was nobody around.</p>
<p>Fair enough. Not even a car. No taxis, nothing. So here I am. I'm just like, dootdoodootdo.And then I hear laughter. Did I tell you guys this story already? I feel bad if I did. Um, so I hear laughter. I turned around and it's a cop; a police officer.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:37] Oh dear.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:39] And at first I was scared. I was like, Oh man,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:42] every time I see a cop, I get scared.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:44] Oh my God, totally scared. And he was laughing. So I'm like, Oh God. And I'm by myself. Great... with a cop. And so. I think I asked him why he was laughing. He said, you look like a [00:40:00] turtle from behind because I had this huge shell of like, equipment. Right. And all you saw were my feet. And so he said, what are you doing?</p>
<p>And I said, uh, whatever, I don't know. I thought this was New York. And then he started laughing even harder. And he said, where are you going? I said, Ethiopia like that. He said, why?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:26] The hilarity is just like, he just wants to keep asking you random questions because you're just going to make him laugh.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:31] So I told him why.</p>
<p>I said, I'm a photographer, I'm doing a project of my own. And I going to be documenting, photographing these nine tribes in Ethiopia. And he's like, that's amazing. He's like, Make sure you don't forget about me  when you're famous. I'm like, Oh God, you know, I wish please like the industry, like, cause I told them how the industry works and whatever I'm like, it doesn't mean I'm [00:41:00] gonna  be famous, but this is my life's work. This is what I love. And so we were talking, he's like, well, what's your plan for tonight? I'm like, well, I want to find a hotel room somewhere like a cab. And he started laughing harder and he said, well, how much do you want to spend for the hotel room? I'm like 20 bucks. I don't know. Like, is there like a hundred bucks?</p>
<p>Ideally like at the very top. And he started laughing hysterically at this point. He's like, good luck.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:29] Dang.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:30] And I think he walked away</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:33] out. So wait, wait, well, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is supposed to be a story of kindness, right?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:38] So he walked away. And he comes back, he's like, look, I, I was just talking with my buddies, I guess other police people.</p>
<p>And there was some woman he talked to that, I don't know if it was his superior,  but I guess she told him you'd better do her right. So he's like, okay. So he comes back to me [00:42:00] and he gives me a key. And he, he said, look, I have the police officer. This is my, this is what I protect is this area of the airport, and  my work offers me a hotel room for me to sleep at, at the end of my shift. But I'm giving it to you. I want you to have it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:21] oh...,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:22] and so he hooked me up with a bus, like a shuttle somehow. He  asked them to come that way.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:30] And when a cop asks you...</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:31] He totally set it up. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:42:32] Gotcha.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:33] And the bus drove me to this really nice hotel.</p>
<p>I don't know where it was. I don't remember, but I was scared. I'm like, is this a trap? Like, what is this? I didn't trust anyone. I ended up at the hotel room, which was really nice. And it was definitely his, that he'd been there earlier that day because the bed was like a little askew. Like it wasn't perfectly made.</p>
<p>And I was like, is this like, [00:43:00] I was just super paranoid. So I put, I remember putting the chair under the door knob, like how they do so you can't get in. Right. And, uh, And he's and I'm like, how can I repay you? And he's like, you don't just repay me by doing really well with your photography career; that's payment for me. And I'm going to look out for you out there. And that was it. Like, that was pretty extraordinary. I don't know where he slept. I guess he had to drive all the way home. And his home was really far away. That's why he had the hotel room, but right. How amazing is that?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:38] Isn't it, you know, it strikes me that every, it feels like every single act that we're talking about of kindness, that meant so much to us really didn't cost that person a ton.</p>
<p>You know what I mean?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:52] Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:52] By way of comparison. So it can be interesting the way an act of kindness can get magnified.  [00:44:00] Just the tiniest little thing.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:01] Yeah.  For me when I was little,  that same time period where the pastry box up, we went to this grocery store frequently, this one and this cashier that was the cashier who always saw us through.</p>
<p>She would give me the most amazing lollipops every time. And like, you know, you, you learn a lot about the families that come through; the dynamics and  the stress that they're going through. Right. And my parents never, ever talked to her. My mom never talked to her aside from like getting changed back and stuff.</p>
<p>But this woman always gave me this amazing, lollipop and to this day I can taste it. It wasn't the lollipops that we give our girls. It was like this creamy and lollipop. It was creamy and it had strawberry swirls in it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:54] Wow. Was it big?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:56] Yeah, it was pretty big not big, big, but like a normal [00:45:00] pop lollipop, just a little bit bigger, but every time and every time she looked at me, like she really saw me. Every time! She was present with me and I didn't feel ignored, you know, as, especially as an immigrant, she liked, totally was present for me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:20] Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:20] And I'm crying all over again.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:22] And there you go. And that's what happenes. And I have to say for those of you who don't know, um, so I had long hair when I was a teenager and all the way up until I was, I don't know, not a teenager anymore, then I didn't have any hair. And now I have long hair again. And I have to say there is a total recognition of long hair to long hair and age has nothing to do with it.</p>
<p>If you see a guy walking down and he's rocking some hair, you know, you, you give him a nod just like, [00:46:00] and he gives you a nod and that's just what it is. And that's how, I guess it's always been, the nods have certainly changed. It used to be just your head straight up, at least in the places that I've been.</p>
<p>And nowadays it's almost like about your head goes down and then up, which is interesting. And it's just like, I see you, you're here. And I recognize you. And you know, is that an act of kindness?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:25] It is.</p>
<p>And I know that nod I've had that nod. I remember being in LA like in the depths of LA and definitely the time of LA, where there was a lot of gang activity.</p>
<p> I was in traffic and I was with a person that was really not good for me and whatever I was in the car. And from far away through Wilshire Boulevard, with all the traffic across the street at [00:47:00] a shopping mall, you know, those outdoor malls that they have, like, there's like a parking structure. There's like a four story complex, right. Kind of like an outdoor kind of mall. So from far away, this guy was like all the way across the street, all the way through the parking lot in front of a store. So it's far away, right. We locked eyes from that far away and he looked like a gangster, but he locked eyes with me and he gave me the nod and it felt... it felt protective. It felt like "I got you." I don't know if it was an angel. I don't, I don't know, but it was definitely another hardship moment for me at that time. But that nod from him, I still remember to this [00:48:00] day and I feel like I was looked after. Right. And especially because I saw him like to be, he looked like a total gangster that he was tough.</p>
<p>And I don't know, I just felt safe all of a sudden. You never know.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:16] And that's just, it, you never know where your kindness is going and you never know if your kindness will rebound on you, which is why you should be kind.</p>
<p>Here's here's another one. So. In my, I guess, thirties,  which is when I really started to embrace Aikido. I started to embrace really being a mensch. I mean, frankly, I mean,  I think I let down a lot of people up until then, and it's important that we recognize that so we can move forward. So I worked at a job and there was a guy at my job, uh, and I was senior developer, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was a lead on a project, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</p>
<p>Doesn't matter. And you knew me at this point.  His name was [00:49:00] Cari Washington. Cari was literally the sweetest guy; super nice, super friendly, super personable, just super awesome.</p>
<p>Cari and I,  we were all right. We were totally cool with each other. You know, I never, I never looked at him cross-eyed never nothing. After I left that job, went to another one. Then I went to another one. I went to another one. Then I went to UCLA on a contract and I was emailing Cari one day. And guess what? As it turns out, um, of course working in a university, they monitor everything you do. They were monitoring my email. And, and maybe, maybe it was just a case of the, one of the, one of the guys who manages all the hardware, walked by my desk and saw that.</p>
<p>And he was like, Cari Washington. And then he described him and I was like, yeah, that's Cari,yeah. He's like, how do you know him? [00:50:00] He was like, so protective. And I was like, Car's a great guy. Cari's, Car's  my friend. We worked together. And all of a sudden for the rest of the time I was on that contract, his opinion of me was so elevated because I don't know, people have preconceived notions.</p>
<p>I came in as a consultant. People assume that consultants must be a holier than thou or who knows. And I'm very, I like to think I'm down to earth, but everybody does.  But that's an occasion where me being kind to random person reflected right back to me because all of a sudden, now I got nothing but slack from this guy.</p>
<p>We were totally good with each other. Whereas before he was looking at me, cross-eyed the whole time.</p>
<p>So, I mean, kindness is one of those things that grows. And sometimes you don't even know why things are going well, but we'd like to say like attracts, like, and what you focus on grows. So if you focus on kindness, if you focus on [00:51:00] helping people, if you focus on, in those moments, hopefully, and we've experienced it in those moments where you need people to be kind, when you're in that situation, as I like to say, Battlestar Galactica, quote out there for you, sometimes you gotta roll the hard six.  When you're in those situations, if you have been kind in the past and you're drawing in kindness, then you know, hopefully you will receive it. Because you're focused on kind.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:32] But then what if it becomes like an obligation? Like you feel like you have to do it and in that case, I don't think it works as well. You just have to kind of let it go. Just have your heart take the lead</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:45] and you're right. I mean, I have to say</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:47] like, you have to, without realizing why you're doing something, if you're really drawn to do it, just do it without thinking, well, why am I doing it? Don't become so calculated about it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:58] Well, yeah, no, no, no. And trust me, I'm [00:52:00] not calculated.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:00] I'm not saying you are. I'm just</p>
<p>saying in general.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:02] There's so many kinds of core beliefs that help me be kind. Um, you know, there's and I, you don't want me to say this, but, you know, there's, there's I find literally everybody fascinating. I think it's impossible for a person to lead a life that is a hundred percent boring.  There are those moments or those experiences that people have had that,  when you hear about it, it brings more understanding of that person, and sometimes more understanding of you ,when you hear the stories,  when you connect with them on that level.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:40] You know, all this sounds fine and well, honey, and I'm thinking, okay, I'm starting to feel better. Just recalling all these Kind ways. But then I started to think of images. I saw the past week again. I'm like, well, that's fine for us because we're peaceful people [00:53:00] for the most part. I mean, I've definitely had times where I was not the kindest person, but, but I mean, I'm just looking at the crazy stuff that is happening out there.</p>
<p>And the people that inflict such harm. Right. I just don't understand. Well, I do understand it, but what do we do? Because that's still there and I'm just feeling bad all over again.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:21] And that's the hard part. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:23] Like I saw something horrible. I see something horrible every day. Like I saw this cop training one of those dogs,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:32] the K9 unit dogs?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:34] Yeah. They're like German shepherds. Usually. Yes. I saw on TV, this guy, this cop trading one, he totally choked this dog after the dog was just like, trying to help and trying to be obedient. And it was terrifying and he got in trouble and it, you know, but why would he do that? Like [00:54:00] the weird thing is that I know what he.</p>
<p>There's something in me that could, the empathy that I have is so strong that I could totally feel why a person does that. Like,  I can transfer myself for a split second, and I know where that came from. Right.  Watched that on TV and it really messed me up because then I became that for a second and I understood why he did that.</p>
<p>Right. There's no reason for it, but I, I, I understood it as if I was in his body and it comes from how he was raised and how. He's known nothing but callousness.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:54:42] It is possible. Yes. And it is. And it's possible that he doesn't understand affection and attention without negativity.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:49]</p>
<p>But another thing that I thought was, wow, look at this. He lost his job, immediatly  this cop, right? Uh, he got in trouble right away. Right. [00:55:00] Yet when you treat other human beings like that, you don't get to the same kind of trouble. And I'm not saying human beings are more important, than dogs, but I'm just saying, why is one treated differently?</p>
<p>Right. It's it's life. so I don't know, Matt, I'm just back to feeling bad again.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:55:18] The hardest thing I think for humanity is understanding the ways and how we can make changes in our lives, as opposed to, you know, frankly, I'm not in a position to, address all the wrongs of the world.</p>
<p>There are lots of wrongs in the world and unfortunately, a lot of these wrongs are going to continue, but if you take the approach of what's an issue, what's a problem, what's a situation that I can affect change and move forward and building strength from that because there's some huge [00:56:00] things that have been around for an awfully long time that need to change, absolutely, that I'm not in a position to, I can't affect any change about it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:10] I think we can though, like, even some of these horrendous people, if they could get a nod sometimes, so. Sorry, I can't talk, can't breathe. What I'm trying to say is, , for whatever reason, if you feel any doubt, just go ahead with that nod. I think the most vile people are the ones that need kindness, the most.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:56:41] Interesting that you mentioned that. Um, so our youngest has expressed an interest in learning something about psychology. So I was talking with one of our friends of our show actually, , KJ, KJ and I (shout out) and I asked her what's a good resource.</p>
<p>And so she told me  to  start at psychology [00:57:00] today. So I was like the magazine she's like, yeah. So I went there. And they were describing exactly this. And I just read that today. Yeah. How do you deal with somebody who's constantly mean .It's because it's the only, it's theirs, there's a feedback loop and  they're used to it's in the same way that, you know, if you're saying, if a kid is saying, listen to me, listen to me, pay attention to me.</p>
<p>At some point, they're going to hit their little brother. Right. You know, because they're not getting the attention, the affection that they crave. And unfortunately, and this is where it all gets super messed up. And this is just pop psychology. So take it for what it is.  But  people need connections.</p>
<p>Everybody needs connections. In college. I tried to live like a hermit and it didn't work. Just didn't work. You need people. That was a hard lesson to learn because you make yourself vulnerable on some level. But I guess it's about not making yourself vulnerable, still getting that attention by [00:58:00] saying I don't care or being,  a meanie, which is unfortunate, but we need to increase the peace.</p>
<p>But with that said,  if somebody is being a meanie in a completely terrible and irreverent and just illegal, unlawful, immoral way, I would have a very hard time giving them a nod saying, I see you. I think, yeah. If somebody is somebody, unfortunately has reached that point, then I have a hard time with that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:35] But I guess that's not us, or maybe we're not at that capacity, but someone else will be hopefully,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:58:42] hopefully yes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:43] So where do we go from here, honey?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:58:48] Where did we go from here? I think the small, random acts of kindness, directed to people who,  like case in point, I have a coworker and he's [00:59:00] been sequestered and not really, but really, I mean, certainly less than us, but more so than he ever has been he's lonely.</p>
<p>And every time I talk to him, we talk and we talk for a while and we talk about things that aren't work related. I mean, we will talk about stuff that's work-related because we have an excuse to talk, but he has such a hunger to talk and for somebody to be there and say, Hey, I see you. I hear you. You know, it's that compassion, you know, I'm not at this point in time,  I'm making a conscious decision, not to shoulder his burdens as my own, which you can do, but I wouldn't recommend, , but just being there for him, I know brings a light to his days.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:47] I think if we treat our world as a village and we all take care of like five at a time or four at a time, [01:00:00] if everyone did that and we saw, so what left out and one of us took that person on, to give a nod to. Right. I think that would help.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:10] And you're absolutely right.  And the fun part is, is when you start to notice these nods coming back to you, because they do.</p>
<p>Same way it did for me, good stuff, kind of functions in a circle in the same way that Aikido teaches us, but also in the same way that bad things  can come around in a circle too. So choosing not to be aggressive, choosing peace, choosing to acknowledge, choosing, to share, choosing to just be kind.</p>
<p>I mean, how many times, and I've done this to people,  I'll be doing something random in computers, right. And I'll do something that I think is super cool. And I want to share it and you know what? It may be that the person I'm sharing it with doesn't even care. Thank you Fawn. Because it does [01:01:00] happen.</p>
<p>Like it's an algorithm and it does blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's so cool that this, this and this, you know, people don't understand, but a smile and a nod makes me feel good. And that's just it. A smile and a nod makes you feel good.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:15] It's an acknowledgement that you exist. And when someone feels like they don't, that's when the tantrums come about.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:24] Right. And more importantly than just it's acknowledgement that you exist. It's like acknowledgement that you exist and you matter, even if for a split second,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:35] and when you were saying everything you were just saying, I thought, you know, like what we need to carry on. I thought of the word grace, and I'm trying to figure out, like, you need to have grace about a situation.</p>
<p>Like you may not want to be kind, or you may not feel moved to have a kind of [01:02:00] nod. Or a hand placed upon someone's hand. Maybe you don't want to touch them for whatever reason, but if you could ask for grace to be shown or to come through that and just even asking for that in your own mind, then something will transpire and it's an honor or a credit. Like what does grace really mean?</p>
<p>Do you know?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:02:23] That's something you say before dinner</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:25] No, it has a profound meaning.,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:02:27] I know, I know. Try and lighten it up. There's the state of grace.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:30] It's like, an unmerited mercy, Like a feeling of, , I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. I know what it feels like .Grace; something that will take over that is perfect; that is exactly what is needed that offers compassion and is done so in such a beautiful manner, like a dance, like movement that is graceful, it's, it's purely light and profound. We all need [01:03:00] to ask for that grace.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:03] Gotcha.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:04] And move with that grace.</p>
<p>Is there anything else you want to leave off with today?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:11] I didn't get to all my subjects. So I'm just going to tease them. How's that?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:15] What do you mean?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:15] Like you want it to say random acts of kindness that I've experienced and I'm just going to tease every single one.  I'm not even going to describe what it is. It's just going to be two or three words.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:24] What? No more fun that way. Okay. Well, let me see,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:28] um, soccer team when I was an elementary school,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:31] what happened?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:33] I don't know,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:33] but that doesn't mean anything to anyone listening doesn't mean. Did he think to me</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:37] I had an experience with a homeless man very close to my birthday, that was, , a random act of kindness shifted.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:44] You gotta tell us.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:44] Nope.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:45] Matt, come on.</p>
<p>No, we need to hear it. It's more fun. The world is in a state.</p>
<p>We need to hear good stuff.</p>
<p>What happened?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:03:55] Okay. But then that's it. That's my last story. I've got a whole bunch of other ones. Come on.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:59] Are you ever [01:04:00] going to go talk about that?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:04:01] It's possible, anyways. , and I may have already partially described this. I had just, and forgive me, my wife, but I had broken up with a serious girlfriend and I was feeling a little low.</p>
<p>And of course in hindsight, it was irrelevant and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But I was feeling terrible and I was walking into a bookstore and I didn't want to talk to anybody. I was in that. I think I was even out on a Friday night at a place that was packed with lots of people, but I didn't  to talk to anybody and I wanted to stick strictly to myself and, and I was going to no bookstore because God knows what I wanted to buy a book.</p>
<p>Maybe, I don't know. Anyways, lots of people, lots of dating people around me. And I was just, and, um, and there was a homeless guy by the front door and he was like, Hey, Hey, Hey, how's it going? Hey, Hey, Hey, I know a trick. And it was the stupidest thing. I don't even remember a hundred percent what it was now.</p>
<p>My birthday was coming up the next week and he was like, Oh, I bet you, I can guess the date you were. Right. And I was like, really? Okay. What, you know? And I was like, Oh, and he [01:05:00] was like, And I don't remember what he said, but in my brain, cause there's a lot of noise around. I heard him say it's next Thursday or it's Thursday.</p>
<p>And he came up with this wonderful reason why every day of the week is actually Thursday or something. I don't remember, but it turns out my birthday was the next week on Thursday.</p>
<p>Wow.</p>
<p>Okay. And like my brain exploded a little bit and you know, just him, I mean, he was hustling me,  it felt like he was being so gentle  and he told me a bit about, and it was a bit, I knew about myself, so it doesn't count.</p>
<p>It's not like we, he directed my path, but for eternity. But the fact is, is I didn't want to connect to anybody. And he connected with me so completely and in such a playful way. And then I was like, Oh my God, how'd, you know, my birthday is next Thursday. And he kept saying, no, no, no, no, that's not what I meant.</p>
<p>That's what I want. And I wouldn't listen to him at that point. I wouldn't listen to his, his slick little trick. I was so enamored with the fact that [01:06:00] in my mind, he had guessed when my birthday was that I still don't know what he was trying to say to me, but it was, it made me laugh and laugh and laugh the next day and let them day after that.</p>
<p>And, you know, I I've actually marked that as a, an interesting point in time where it was just like, I felt like, you know, things shifted.</p>
<p>That's</p>
<p>nice.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:06:24] Well, okay. To close off this show, it's really interesting to just actually go in and think about the acts of kindness that were presented in your life.</p>
<p>Because I guarantee it'll show up a theme, like for me, pastries. Right, right. And I'm like, Oh my God, this whole time I have been obsessed with pastries and not eating them necessarily, but making them and offering them to people. And now I realize it comes from when I was a little kid and how that random box of [01:07:00] pastries showed up.</p>
<p>Nice. So make yourself a list, guys, if you feel like it,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:07:06] Share some with us in the comments, please review us.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:09] We'll see you in a few days. Thanks for listening everyone. Thank you. And sorry about my plugged up nose, stay kind. And it is a kind world. ,</p>
<p>it's hard to take</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:07:23] It's hard in the face of the big unkindness.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:07:26] Shift your focus so I guess that's what we're here to do today. And every day is to remind each other, Hey, shift your focus,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:07:35] what you focus on grows like attracts light.</p>
<p>And it's not saying that we're ignoring the bad stuff or that we're not going to take care of the bad stuff, but we need to feel better and we need to focus on good.</p>
<p>So there's inspiration to do good. And there is inspiration to create beautiful change in the world.  Talk to you in a few days, guys, go [01:08:00] to our friendly world.com to leave us messages, and we love you. Thank you for listening. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.
 
TRANSCRIPT: Keep the Faith – episode 41
Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.
Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica – The rollerblading knight in shining armor who told Fawn to stop crying and to have Faith.
Hall of Fame Quotes from this episode:
On feeling bad or having a bad day:
Matt: …everybody has those moments and those days. And I think it's so important during those days to take us back that we really take a look at and really hopefully try and remember those moments of kindness from the past and hold ourselves open to those moments of kindness coming to us in the future.
On being open to kindness:
Matt: “…it seems like I refused to make myself vulnerable to anything and anyone. And so nobody could really give me an act of kindness because I didn't even allow them the opportunity to even understand what that may look like, because I was so like guarded and angry.”
Matt:  “…it can be interesting the way an act of kindness can get magnified; Just the tiniest little thing.”
Matt:  “You never know where your kindness is going and you never know if your kindness will rebound on you, which is why you should be kind.”
Matt: “kindness is one of those things that grows. And sometimes you don't even know why things are going well, but we'd like to say like attracts, like, and what you focus on grows. So if you focus on kindness, if you focus on helping people, if you focus on, in those moments, hopefully, and we've experienced it in those moments where you need people to be kind, when you're in that situation, as I like to say, Battlestar Galactica, quote out there for you, sometimes you gotta roll the hard six.  When you're in those situations, if you have been kind in the past and you're drawing in kindness, then you know, hopefully you will receive it. Because you're focused on kind.”
 
Matt: “A smile and a nod makes you feel good.”
 
 
 
MixPre-238
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our friendly worlds.
Matt: [00:00:04] Welcome. Welcome!.
Fawn: [00:00:05] Hello. Kindness comes from the old English word, kindness, meaning nation
Matt: [00:00:13] (Matt laughs) kindness comes from kindness.
Fawn: [00:00:15] I know don't you love the dictionaries, but this is the etymology of it. Let me start over. Kindness comes from the old English word kynd. This it's actually KYNDNES.
Yeah. K Y N D N E S. Meaning nation or produce increase. The word is further derived from the middle English word, kindness, meaning noble deeds or courtesy.
Matt: [00:00:46] I just have to lau...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:09:03</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED - Roundtable #3 Visualize This]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/connected-roundtable-3-visualize-this</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-roundtable-3-visualize-this</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p> </p>
<p><strong>Roundtable #3</strong></p>
<p>Today we celebrate our friend, Beth Hewitt’s book “The Power of Scripting” which teaches exactly how to go about having the life we dream of.</p>
<p>We speak of visualization and the utter joy and delight of a moment.</p>
<p>We also come together to create a vision for a better world.</p>
<p><strong>QUOTE HALL OF FAME FROM THIS EPISODE:</strong></p>
<p><strong>KJ quote:</strong> “…things are pretty, pretty wonky and bananas right now on many levels, but also on so many levels and intimate levels in the kitchen of our homes are these miracles that are happening.”</p>
<p><strong>Paul:</strong> “…in the past three years of my life, when I got clean and sober off drugs and alcohol, my life has just flourished into my dreams coming true. You know, my mind just forgets that so quickly, so I just have to challenge that mind every day…</p>
<p><strong>KJ:</strong> …the grace to ask; the grace to pause and notice (as Beth had mentioned, and we've mentioned in the conversation before) the grace and space to notice that you have within your five, six senses, everything you need to manifest and bring, forth. So my hope and holding for us, each other, and the world, is the permission and the kindness and the grace and the space to ask for it.</p>
<p>We learn Katy overcame MS at an early age with the help of visualization.</p>
<p>Learn how Katy and Nii came to the point where they could call the shots of how they work and when they work and how that has been an extremely powerful thing for them in their careers.</p>
<p>Find out a visualization technique Paul used to become sober and get clarity.</p>
<p>Nii explains the importance of understanding that you can create money without you having to trade time for dollars, and that money is just a tool that has nothing to do with accumulating money, but it really is about the experience of a quality of life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Hello friends. This is connected. We have a round table show called connected. Here we are. This is it. Here we are. We are with a group of friends here to discuss how truly interconnected we all are. Today's subject is the power of visualization. What we are creating for each other, what we are creating in our lives, the power of the word, the power of visualization.</p>
<p>Basically. Matt, did I miss something?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:36] No, you didn't miss a darn thing,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:38] are you sure?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:38] Pretty sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:39] Okay. So for example, years ago, Matt and I, it was one I was born. Was Allegra born back then, do you know what I'm going to talk about? The coffee, the coffee. Where are we with Allegra? That it doesn't matter.</p>
<p>Anyway, I digress. So we're, we're getting coffee. We're on Bainbridge Island and we were [00:01:00] parents.  I think Allegra was just born too, but the only outings we would have would be to Town &amp; Country Market .Town and Country Market is actually quite famous because, , it is a store.</p>
<p>Help me out, Matt, you want to jump in there? , it's a family owned store, a Japanese family. During the 1940s, the government decided to</p>
<p>. Yeah. Bainbridge Island has a dubious honor. Terrible honor of being the first place where they actually, during World War II, took Japanese families and dragged them to internment camps.</p>
<p> (sarcasticly) Awesome. Really great legacy.</p>
<p>And so Town &amp; Country was a family owned business, Japanese owned business. They were taken away. And all the people that worked at Town &amp; Country formed banded together, came together and sustained this beautiful market. And this market is [00:02:00] the most amazing center of the entire community.</p>
<p>They all came together. They held everything for years until the owners could come.</p>
<p>...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ 
Roundtable #3
Today we celebrate our friend, Beth Hewitt’s book “The Power of Scripting” which teaches exactly how to go about having the life we dream of.
We speak of visualization and the utter joy and delight of a moment.
We also come together to create a vision for a better world.
QUOTE HALL OF FAME FROM THIS EPISODE:
KJ quote: “…things are pretty, pretty wonky and bananas right now on many levels, but also on so many levels and intimate levels in the kitchen of our homes are these miracles that are happening.”
Paul: “…in the past three years of my life, when I got clean and sober off drugs and alcohol, my life has just flourished into my dreams coming true. You know, my mind just forgets that so quickly, so I just have to challenge that mind every day…
KJ: …the grace to ask; the grace to pause and notice (as Beth had mentioned, and we've mentioned in the conversation before) the grace and space to notice that you have within your five, six senses, everything you need to manifest and bring, forth. So my hope and holding for us, each other, and the world, is the permission and the kindness and the grace and the space to ask for it.
We learn Katy overcame MS at an early age with the help of visualization.
Learn how Katy and Nii came to the point where they could call the shots of how they work and when they work and how that has been an extremely powerful thing for them in their careers.
Find out a visualization technique Paul used to become sober and get clarity.
Nii explains the importance of understanding that you can create money without you having to trade time for dollars, and that money is just a tool that has nothing to do with accumulating money, but it really is about the experience of a quality of life.
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Hello friends. This is connected. We have a round table show called connected. Here we are. This is it. Here we are. We are with a group of friends here to discuss how truly interconnected we all are. Today's subject is the power of visualization. What we are creating for each other, what we are creating in our lives, the power of the word, the power of visualization.
Basically. Matt, did I miss something?
Matt: [00:00:36] No, you didn't miss a darn thing,
Fawn: [00:00:38] are you sure?
Matt: [00:00:38] Pretty sure.
Fawn: [00:00:39] Okay. So for example, years ago, Matt and I, it was one I was born. Was Allegra born back then, do you know what I'm going to talk about? The coffee, the coffee. Where are we with Allegra? That it doesn't matter.
Anyway, I digress. So we're, we're getting coffee. We're on Bainbridge Island and we were [00:01:00] parents.  I think Allegra was just born too, but the only outings we would have would be to Town & Country Market .Town and Country Market is actually quite famous because, , it is a store.
Help me out, Matt, you want to jump in there? , it's a family owned store, a Japanese family. During the 1940s, the government decided to
. Yeah. Bainbridge Island has a dubious honor. Terrible honor of being the first place where they actually, during World War II, took Japanese families and dragged them to internment camps.
 (sarcasticly) Awesome. Really great legacy.
And so Town & Country was a family owned business, Japanese owned business. They were taken away. And all the people that worked at Town & Country formed banded together, came together and sustained this beautiful market. And this market is [00:02:00] the most amazing center of the entire community.
They all came together. They held everything for years until the owners could come.
...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED - Roundtable #3 Visualize This]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>3</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p> </p>
<p><strong>Roundtable #3</strong></p>
<p>Today we celebrate our friend, Beth Hewitt’s book “The Power of Scripting” which teaches exactly how to go about having the life we dream of.</p>
<p>We speak of visualization and the utter joy and delight of a moment.</p>
<p>We also come together to create a vision for a better world.</p>
<p><strong>QUOTE HALL OF FAME FROM THIS EPISODE:</strong></p>
<p><strong>KJ quote:</strong> “…things are pretty, pretty wonky and bananas right now on many levels, but also on so many levels and intimate levels in the kitchen of our homes are these miracles that are happening.”</p>
<p><strong>Paul:</strong> “…in the past three years of my life, when I got clean and sober off drugs and alcohol, my life has just flourished into my dreams coming true. You know, my mind just forgets that so quickly, so I just have to challenge that mind every day…</p>
<p><strong>KJ:</strong> …the grace to ask; the grace to pause and notice (as Beth had mentioned, and we've mentioned in the conversation before) the grace and space to notice that you have within your five, six senses, everything you need to manifest and bring, forth. So my hope and holding for us, each other, and the world, is the permission and the kindness and the grace and the space to ask for it.</p>
<p>We learn Katy overcame MS at an early age with the help of visualization.</p>
<p>Learn how Katy and Nii came to the point where they could call the shots of how they work and when they work and how that has been an extremely powerful thing for them in their careers.</p>
<p>Find out a visualization technique Paul used to become sober and get clarity.</p>
<p>Nii explains the importance of understanding that you can create money without you having to trade time for dollars, and that money is just a tool that has nothing to do with accumulating money, but it really is about the experience of a quality of life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT:</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Hello friends. This is connected. We have a round table show called connected. Here we are. This is it. Here we are. We are with a group of friends here to discuss how truly interconnected we all are. Today's subject is the power of visualization. What we are creating for each other, what we are creating in our lives, the power of the word, the power of visualization.</p>
<p>Basically. Matt, did I miss something?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:36] No, you didn't miss a darn thing,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:38] are you sure?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:38] Pretty sure.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:39] Okay. So for example, years ago, Matt and I, it was one I was born. Was Allegra born back then, do you know what I'm going to talk about? The coffee, the coffee. Where are we with Allegra? That it doesn't matter.</p>
<p>Anyway, I digress. So we're, we're getting coffee. We're on Bainbridge Island and we were [00:01:00] parents.  I think Allegra was just born too, but the only outings we would have would be to Town &amp; Country Market .Town and Country Market is actually quite famous because, , it is a store.</p>
<p>Help me out, Matt, you want to jump in there? , it's a family owned store, a Japanese family. During the 1940s, the government decided to</p>
<p>. Yeah. Bainbridge Island has a dubious honor. Terrible honor of being the first place where they actually, during World War II, took Japanese families and dragged them to internment camps.</p>
<p> (sarcasticly) Awesome. Really great legacy.</p>
<p>And so Town &amp; Country was a family owned business, Japanese owned business. They were taken away. And all the people that worked at Town &amp; Country formed banded together, came together and sustained this beautiful market. And this market is [00:02:00] the most amazing center of the entire community.</p>
<p>They all came together. They held everything for years until the owners could come.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:11] Right. Yeah. This would be yeah. Between 1941 and 1944.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:16] And the culture that exists in this market is still there. The friendliest, most loving place to be is Town and Country Market. And because living on Bainbridge Island for us back then, that was really the catalyst that brought about this friendship movement we created because we moved there and we could not find a friend to save our lives, man.</p>
<p>We couldn't have anyone come over for dinner. We had one person and Matt would say, I remember the first time you said that it, it made me laugh and cry at the same time. We finally made a friend to come over and she would come over for dinner sometimes. And Matt would [00:03:00] say, so is all of our FRIEND coming over for dinner tonight?</p>
<p>You know, like all of her friends, friends, we had that one, her name was Peggy. And so it was sad, man. We couldn't find any friends. And the only friends we had were at TNC town country market. And they were really good friends, but then we had to think about it and I'm like, yeah, it's kind of like, they're held hostage by us though, because they're forced to be our friends because they have nowhere to go because we go to the market and we start talking to them and they have no choice.</p>
<p>Anyhow, back to visualization</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:36] anyhow, back to visualization,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:38] back to visualization. Sorry.  We were at T&amp;C and they have,  an area for coffee, like a coffee bar and Matt and I coming from Santa Monica, we had the coffee, bean was our hangout, and we would get these beautiful ice blended drinks. And the calorie level was very low actually, but it tasted so good [00:04:00] guys.</p>
<p>Oh my God, I just blended mochas. And so when we realized they could make a mocha of some kind, that was kind of similar to what we had in Santa Monica, we were all over it and we would get it every chance we could this drink, Matt and I would share it.  We would get it all the time. And we were friends with everyone who worked there at the market.</p>
<p> One day I'm like, what is in this anyway? You guys. And so they're like, hold on. Let's see. So they brought the big VAT and they started reading what's in there and I'm like, and then I'm like, well, how many calories pray, tell does this thing have? Guys, when they told me the number, I was so shocked that, I mean, my face was like stunned.</p>
<p>I'm sure. Like I was stunned and all I could do, Matt had to pay. Cause I was just like in shock. Meanwhile, I'm still sipping on it through the straw, but I kept [00:05:00] repeating the number. Now, I don't know the exact number. I think it was a 1,346. I think it was actually more than that, you guys, whatever it was, I was thinking, this is many meals for more than one day meals. Like I can't believe it, but I was still sucking on it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:20] Well, it was 24 ounces. It had whipped cream. I mean, come on,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:24] whatever it was, the number was outrageous. So don't hold me to the number, but here's what happens. And this is totally directly in sync with what we're talking about today, because we're talking about the power of the word visualization, the fact that you can utter a sound and how that will manifest for you complete reality.</p>
<p>So here's what happens. So we go from the coffee area to the main part of the store and we're going up and down the aisle, but we're not really doing our weekly grocery shopping. We were just the reason why I'm telling you about [00:06:00] town and country is it was our Disneyland. Town and Country was our, the only place we could go to hang out with friends and feel connected with people.</p>
<p>Nowhere else on the Island, because it's basically just forest. . It was like, nobody like hung out. We were so lonely. That was our big outing was to go to the market. Anyway, so here we are, we're sipping on our drink. We're going up and down the aisle. We just decided to just get a few things and only use a basket.</p>
<p>Usually we would have the big shopping cart and Katy has seen us do this.  We just pile it with all kinds of vegetables. It's like overflowing, like where like getting ready for Armageddon. Like, but it's our weekly shopping trip because all we eat our vegetables, so we need lots of them. We juice them, we cook them with just veggies and they're fluffy and they're big and they take up the whole cart. But this day it was just a [00:07:00] tiny little basket. We just wanted to get a few treats after our coffee, treat our outing. You know our little basket, here we go. But the whole time we were walking up and down the aisles, I kept all I kept chanting was the number of calories in this drink.</p>
<p>So let's just say it was 1346. I was like 1346. God, I want to say a bad word. God bless it son of a biscuit, 1346. And then I would have Tourette's you think I'd be, I was stopped. I stopped doing it. And then all of a sudden I'd spat out with 1346.  I couldn't stop saying that number. So anyway, we're at the checkout stand and our turn comes up.</p>
<p>Bloop, bloop, bloop. We go through the register. Our friend at the cashier goes 1346. The exact that's the amount of calories that I kept [00:08:00] chanting somehow, whatever we bought that day are y'all feeling me. Do you understand what I'm saying? The same number showed up because I kept saying it over and over again.</p>
<p>Now, do you understand what I'm saying? Everybody's quiet. How crazy is that? That's crazy. That is like pure magic. That is, I couldn't believe that. So I'm like, Oh wow. I really have to watch my words because I grew up knowing whatever you utter will definitely manifest . That's why Matt and I will not- we will not buy certain things that have the word killer in there. Like there's a bread out there. That's called so-and-so's killer bread. Best believe we're not buying that bread.</p>
<p>Pete's wicked ale.</p>
<p>No, no wicked or like chocolate to die for. No, thank you. No, no, no.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:08:55] It's got the word peace in it. That's weird</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:08:58] in that contradiction.</p>
<p>No, [00:09:00] it's actually Pete, as in Peter, Pete. Oh, okay. Okay. Sorry. It's the colonial accent. I know,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:08] but you know, just so the power of the word, I want to start off with that and we're going to totally get into visualization. But what I'm trying to say is,  like today I got into another big fight with Matt's family, , over a word.</p>
<p>And I was trying to explain that in our society I've been seeing for years now, how words are used to de-humanize people. Words are used so we don't take life seriously anymore. And what I mean is that,  there are words out there that are used so nonchalantly that are there to make us feel that certain people are not worth anything that they are [00:10:00] there. Their life does not have value. And this is what Hitler did. You use a certain word against certain people and you de-humanized them. So when you see people getting hurt, when you see people getting killed, I'm sorry, I'm going somewhere. Very, um, not so it's not light guys, but, and I guarantee this episode is a light episode, but what I just want to point out is that words have power.</p>
<p>So when we use certain words that other people used without thinking about it. I'm just asking, please, please can we take into consideration what we're saying? Whether it's, , the calorie of the coffee drink, it's going to create that for you. Like, if you keep saying that over and over again, if we're going to say infestation at the border, and you're talking about [00:11:00] human beings, we're not talking about roaches that are eating the crops and bringing disease.</p>
<p>We are talking about human beings. Stop it. Um, but anyway, so using beautiful words, using peaceful words,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:16] yeah, absolutely. Um, yeah, if you can't say anything, nice. My goodness. Come on. Don't say anything at all.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:23] No, because you can think it, why don't you switch the thought pattern? And let's look at beauty.</p>
<p>Let's let's just so let's just today. Let's go into visualization. I'm sorry. Hard, right or left. I don't know. Let's just, I'm going to take it back to a happy place right now, because that's what we're going to concentrate on. We're going to concentrate on happy calories and we're going to create happy calories.</p>
<p>You understand what I'm saying? People. So today we are here to celebrate actually or celebrating our friend Beth.  We're celebrating Beth. Yay. Beth. Beth is releasing her new [00:12:00] book called "The Power of Scripting" and it's totally in sync with what we're going to talk about today.</p>
<p>So before that please let's go around the round table. Everybody introduce yourselves, Beth, you go first.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:12:12] Hi everybody. And this. So far Fawn you, you've done some amazing the sound. So I liked your cash register and also your screeching car. Wonderful sounds from everybody. So my name is Beth Hewitt, I'm a spiritual performance coach, , for life and business.</p>
<p>, I live here in the UK and I have been passionate about visualization ever since I was little since I was four years old, when I manifested a red bouncy castle for the first time. So I'm so excited to be here today and talking about this subject.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:47] We're so excited for our beautiful round table and there's so much, I can't wait until we share everything today.</p>
<p>And Matt, please, don't forget. We did a show yesterday with Beth, you guys, so make sure you listen [00:13:00] to that because it was all about her book and we were talking about visualization and this is , we're discussing more of it because we didn't get to the things we really wanted to get to. Right, Matt.</p>
<p>Well, so make sure you do that. Instead of waiting until the show has done. So and say, Oh, I was going to mention these things, conversations go where they will. I'm just saying, okay, so next we have our beautiful KJ. KJ is here.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:13:25] Hi!, , my name is KJ Nasrul. I am currently and actually for the last 20 years  off and on have been located in the San Francisco Bay area in lovely California.</p>
<p>And I am a licensed psychotherapist and trauma informed counselor. I also am a musician writer and artist, and my goal for the last year, year and a half has been melding that together, , using these mediums, , to help folks understand that they have this [00:14:00] incredible innate capacity to heal themselves.</p>
<p>They have medicine within and oftentimes we don't even realize it. And so , using art, using words, which we'll be talking a little bit more about today, , music sound words, art, uh, we often are revealing within ourselves that we have this incredible, incredible light. , so that leads me to, , talking a little bit about my podcast, which is called Stories of Astonishing Light to emphasize that is that we all have stories and all of our stories are interwoven , with so many things, so many layers, but among all of it is light.</p>
<p> That's where you can find me. And I'm so, so happy to be here.  I love speaking about visualization and   I certainly love speaking about the power of words, because words are incredibly, incredibly impactful. So thanks for hanging with me today.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:14:57] Love you KJ. And before there was [00:15:00] anything, there was the word.</p>
<p>Is that how it goes? I keep it. That's how it goes in the Bible, right? That's</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:05] how it goes in. Yes. The old Testament, new Testament styles in</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:15:09] Lord of the rings as well.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:10] That's true. The Lord of the rings books.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:15:13] This is true.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:14] So next we have our beautiful friend Nii</p>
<p>Nii and his  beautiful sons.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:15:24] How are y'all doing? My name is NII Darko. , I have my kids in the background. It's  daddy daycare this weekend. So it was just me and the kids. And, , I am a trauma surgeon and I'm a traveling trauma surgeon. So I travel for my job. I don't live at home and I, when I finished working, I'd come home with my kids and my wife.</p>
<p>But I host a podcast called Docs Outside the Box is a podcast where we talk about the three M's money, mindset and mission , so that doctors and other healthcare professionals , can have very impactful and fulfilling lives, , outside of the [00:16:00] hospital walls or clinic. And I'm really excited to talk about this concept of visualization, because for me, , I had one thought process of what it'd be like to be a physician and quickly I had to change my mindset and, , visualize myself having more of a more freedom and being free.. It's manifesting itself right now as it is the little non-traditional for most people. But this is exactly what works for us. So glad to be here.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:16:26] I cannot wait to hear everything Nii.</p>
<p>Next we have Paul. Hello, Paul.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:16:33] Hello. Um, so my name is Paul. , I am a meditation teacher and I do, I also am a personal trainer and I discussed like nutrition and all that kind of stuff.</p>
<p>That's like my passion self-healing self-love.  I'm really excited about the visualization conversation we're going to be chatting about. , especially at the moment I'm doing like this visualization stuff with a certain client, who's had a lot of [00:17:00] PTSD and, you know, visualization can just be a massive tool of healing and going into the past when someone is really uncomfortable with being vulnerable, it puts them in that safe space.</p>
<p>But it also, I think it puts them in that automatic space where they just start letting doors open. Um, so it's lovely. So I do that and I'm also a musician. ,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:22] so talented musician.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:17:25] Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:26] Did I interrupt you? Can we find you tell everyone where they can find you? And aside from our, aside from my</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:17:35] website, um, related to meditation is meet your mind online.com.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:40] Awesome. And also we can find all of our friends on our podcast website and last, but definitely not least the most beautiful wisest person I love having conversations with. And usually I get her into trouble because we end up talking so much, , our [00:18:00] beautiful friend, Katy,</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:18:01] hi Fawn. , I'm Katie and I live outside of Boulder, Colorado.</p>
<p>And, , I met Fawn and her beautiful fam Matt and the girls. I call them my lovely girls. Elle and Alegra. , a couple of years ago in the store, I worked for health and store in Boulder. I am a certified herbalist and I work in the vitamin department giving advice to people on vitamins and nutrition, and we just hit it off.</p>
<p>And every Saturday I would, so look forward to you coming in the store and then I would kind of run off and thank goodness, my boss wasn't there till later. And so we could actually do that. And then we would run around to the other parts of the store, hiding from other people so we could talk totally.</p>
<p>And we would just have so much fun. And I just, you know, you just one of my favorite people that come in the</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:50] store, I love you so much, Katie. It's been six years.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:18:54] Oh, has it? Oh my gosh.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:18:56] My goodness.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:58] It was like [00:19:00] much like this round table. It was love at first sight. Katie love at first sight, it was a "meet cute" kind of situation. So everyone let's let's begin. Oh my God. There's Matt. I'm sorry, Matt. You go ahead. He just tapped me on the shoulder.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:19] So yes, I'm Matt, , cohost of, , Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt I'm a professional software developer. And let's talk about bringing things into the world.</p>
<p>This is what we do as software developers.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:30] Is that it? Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:31] Sure. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:34] And I'm Fawn, you know, we're we host Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, so let's get started. Visualization. How do we start guys? Oh my God. Beth, you take over girl, woman. Lovely goddess.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:19:49] So for me, visualization is that, that beginning of that thing that we're trying to manifest, because whenever you have a thought in your [00:20:00] mind, Of something that you want to create in your life, it is, , that plant, that seed is in your mind. And so  it's bringing that idea to life. That  thing that has been dropped in your consciousness, that is your dream. That is your vision. It's about bringing that to life. And so the way that we can do that is through all of our, through all of our senses, , how we experience the world day to day is via one of our, all of our different senses; , touch, sight, hear, smell intuition if you particularly intuitive person. And so when we're trying to visualize, we should visualize in as much detail by focusing on each of those senses, you can't really do visualization, you can't really manifest properly, if you do not focus on those areas and paint that picture in this clear a way as possible. So that is [00:21:00] kind of a nutshell of what visualization is, but there is so much more to it because as we all know, we can all think of something, but then we might have some resistance to something and it's not, it's not quite coming up. We all have these things. Maybe we were taught things as a child or with somebody said something to us when we were little or it's part of our culture, or some things happened along the way. And we internalize these emotions and they can stop us from achieving those dreams.  Sometimes it's about when packing up and finding out what's going on inside of us. So my, my journey with visualization started when I was four years old was the first time. And I mentioned in the intro, I manifested a red bouncy castle and it has continued throughout my life; this theme of visualization.</p>
<p>I think as a child, the reason why it struck such card as a child was because I didn't have that baggage. I didn't have any resistance. I believed with all of my heart and [00:22:00] certainty that I was able to create this red bouncy castle. There was no doubt in my mind that that wasn't going to be possible.</p>
<p>And, the very next day, the red bouncy castle appeared. And so it has been a  lifelong journey learning more about different techniques, and, learning about meditation and affirmations and just seeing how all of that can be brought into the mix to be able to help you visualize , the things that you want.</p>
<p>And so that's what I do regularly on the way that I do it, the lots of ways to visualize, but the way that I do it is through the written word. Some people might use vision boards. Uh, some people might use meditation, but there's something for me. I am a bit of a wordsmith. The flow of the pen, that word seemed to channel and flow through me.</p>
<p>And so that's what we're talking about today is the words and how we can use them to help us create , that vision and bring it to life.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:22:59] You know, [00:23:00] yesterday we were talking with Beth and we were starting to touch on how really this has been here from the way beginning and how religion comes into this also; that religions have this, , step-by-step process of manifestation. You know, if you're willing to look at religion in a way where it's self-empowering . When it just there's so many religions that actually talk about visualization and the power of the word and manifestation.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:37] Right.</p>
<p>You have to be on some level paying attention though. Um, things like, uh, you know, I was, I was raised as a Protestant. Uh, there's a verse in the Bible, Matthew 2122 that says, , whatever you ask for in prayer, you shall receive, wow. That's a powerful statement. And that's a powerful kind of, that's really calling belief [00:24:00] and visualization right there.</p>
<p>Right. , and also if you take a look at certain aspects of Buddhism, uh, where, you know, you're really supposed to hold in your head  the right thoughts and you're supposed to have the right. You're supposed to say the right things. You're supposed to have a bunch of other things like right profession and all sorts of other things, but it's really about guiding your intention towards the good, whatever, of course you perceive the good to be. So, yes, no, no, no. I do find that very, , very fascinating. And, and honestly though, ,Beth,the best part about your story is to me is the fact that it's red.</p>
<p>Red bouncy castle, because I don't see a lot of red bouncy castles, but the fact that you've manifested to that level that you had in your head at four years old, red bouncy castle, not bouncy castle, not big bouncy castle, not fluffy bouncy castle, but red</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:52] and within 24</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:24:53] hours. It's just, it's it's, it's so clear.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:24:57] Well, the, to, just to give a bit more detail to that, [00:25:00] that started, I won't go into the whole story, but the real crux of that vision was that I was on my own on that red bounce castle. It wasn't a bouncy castle at a fairground where there was 20 other kids backing into me. My thought was I was on my own on that red bouncy castle lit with a bounce castle, all for me so that my four year old little legs could actually stand up and bounce on that bouncy castle.</p>
<p>And that was the specific detail. And that's why it's so important to get really specific in your visualizations.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:30] Gotcha. Gotcha. Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[00:25:32] Well,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:33] who's next. Who anyone want to chime in before I  overtake everything with my words,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:39] what? I don't want a guide and I don't want to ask the question, but my God, I want to hear, I want to hear from Nii and I want, Nii to tell us about more.</p>
<p>I want Nii to give us the blow by blow. on really on the placebo effect and how words can affect the placebo effect.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:25:53] Yeah,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:54] he's putting his headphones back on. Hold on</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:25:56] guys. Sorry, I'm listening. And then, , I had switched my [00:26:00] microphone , these kids are literally about to destroy this house right behind me. But anyway, Um, so, you know, you know, I had a very, so, , currently I'm a trauma surgeon. , I had a very, , now kind of position. I want it to be when I was growing up.</p>
<p>You know, I learned it from Phoebe. There wasn't anybody in my family who was in medicine and my mother was a nursing assistant, but, , pretty far away from what a physician would be. And, , once I got to that point, , I always found myself as the person who would be looking four years ahead when you're currently going through a process.</p>
<p>So if I was in college, I'd be thinking about what it would be like to be in medical school. If I was in medical school, I'd be thinking about what it would be like to be a resident, as opposed to just really enjoying the process, you know, just smelling the roses and enjoying the process of, you know, literally the struggle.</p>
<p>Right? So when I, when it was time for me to start working on my own, , there really wasn't that much of a challenge anymore. And, , that was something that I found really difficult to deal with. [00:27:00] , as well as all the student loan debt, that, me and my wife were in and you know, she's an OB doc and it's very interesting how,  if you don't have the proper training on money, just because you get to a certain status, it doesn't mean that all of a sudden everything changes. It just means that more bad behavior may get exacerbated. And although we didn't have bad behavior, we just didn't manage our money well. So we were two physicians in a household, living paycheck to paycheck, living paycheck to paycheck.</p>
<p>And I remember in 2014, I said to myself, me and my wife said to ourselves, we went on actually, before this went, we went on a honeymoon because we had dated for a long period of time and we just never sealed the deal. So we said, we're going to go on this nice vacation honeymoon. And we went to Australia, we went to New Zealand and then we went to Bali, right.</p>
<p>And it was 30 days and we paid for it cash. We've been saving up for a while. We paid for it [00:28:00] cash. We went there. And after about the third or fourth day of being in Australia, we're like, man, this place is amazing. It's great. We were like right in front of the Harbor at, in, in Sydney. And we, I was telling my wife, I was like, yo, like, what is the next time we're going to come back here and do this?</p>
<p>Cause we got to do this more often. And then there was this like uneasy tension between us and, and we both kind of said to ourselves, and then we said it to each other. We're like, we're never coming back. Are we right? And you know, before we had kids and everything and we were just like, yeah, we've got like debt we got to pay off. We got jobs, we got to work. And then when we have kids, like who's going to come and like, there's no way we're going to come back. And we enjoyed the rest of the trip, but there was like this underlying, like something ain't right. Like this doesn't seem right at all. And literally from that day onwards, we were just to ourselves like, look like, we got to have this life where I call the shots and we decide for ourselves, , when we want [00:29:00] one word, how we want to work. And although at the time it seemed really crazy. I was like, he works like that. Nobody works like that. You know, over the next several years, we kinda manifested this life for ourselves where we got our debt paid off, uh, in, in three years, , that required a lot of double shifts and a whole bunch of different things like that.</p>
<p>But shortly after we got our debt paid off, we actually stopped working for the hospital that we were employed at mainly because I just realized that there was a sense of autonomy that I've always been looking for. And although we haven't been on that trip again, , just the fact that we kind of can call the shots of how we work and when we work has been an extremely powerful thing for us.</p>
<p>And, , through  that, , No through that time while we were trying to get off our debt, we found out that, you know, we're having a difficult time trying to have kids also,</p>
<p>particularly this one right here.  We went through IVF and all those different things and it never worked. And one of the things that we said to ourselves is like, look [00:30:00] like when we have kids, we have to make sure that we teach them the importance of one: understanding that you can create money without you having to trade time for dollars. Right. So ie:  it's very important to teach them how to be entrepreneurs. The other thing too, that we wanted to teach them also is that money is just a tool it's really has nothing to do with accumulating money, but it really is about the experience. Right. And it kind of brought us back to that time.</p>
<p>We went on our honeymoon because it really wasn't about the money. It really was just about , literally sacrificing your life for something. And then now all of a sudden, we're at this point where we're enjoying it, And the one thing that's hanging over us is money.  So for us visualization, at least for me, visualization, , has been really like an intentional mindset changed of really just disassociating (Nii's son: Look I am making bubbles!)</p>
<p>Nii to his son: "Okay, cool!". This is, so disassociating , my self-worth from [00:31:00] what I do for a living, right? Because I think oftentimes people say, well, I'm a doctor, so that's what you are. That's who you are. Like, no, that's not who I am. It's just a part of who I am. And then also at the same time, understanding that money is literally just a tool, right?</p>
<p>It's something that we can use to get ourselves an experience. It's something that we can use to help our nephews and nieces maybe get into college and have a different lifestyle. , so I know it's a long-winded answer, but that's what visualization has done for us. And really literally I can tell you to the day it was like  January 13th of 2013 of when we said you got to change, unfortunately, wasn't here on this hemisphere. It was in the Western hemisphere, but, um, that's what it's done for us.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:45] You know, it makes me think of how, first of all, I think of two things, I think of how hard it is sometimes to carry that dream. And my question to all of us is how can we hold a dream for each other? Because sometimes it's hard [00:32:00] to hold it for ourselves. And when we go through life and we go through the daily, uh, the daily pitfalls, we lose track of what we really want.</p>
<p>We lose the faith and knowing that our dreams can totally come true, that we can achieve and have the life that we want. The other thing that I think about Nii is that. It's so messed up, but it's the United States guys, other countries, people work, you can be a waiter and you still get five to six weeks paid vacation.</p>
<p>So you can travel and traveling is so important for you to get perspective, have your vision expand. But as Americans, we don't do that. We're like struggling to just live. W we're</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[00:32:55] we're we're</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:56] working so we can live. And it just seems [00:33:00] so opposite. It seems so backwards. So those are the two issues. One is carrying that. Carrying that baggage of like, can I achieve this dream where your dream becomes baggage? And I think that's where friendship comes in and that's where Beth's book comes in because you may not have that. You may not have that friend that will always be right there with you throughout the dayto say you can do it.</p>
<p>You can do it Beth! You could do it, Paul! Nii, this is you got it. You got it. We don't have. And so, you know, to have Beth's book in your pocket and you can open it up and go, okay, Beth says to write this down today and you know, to keep your focus, that this is totally achievable, you know, beyond that, I think there's a societal issue that we need to work on is we need to change something here because we don't even get vacation.</p>
<p>And when we do, it's not paid, [00:34:00] you know, maybe after two years, you'll get a two week vacation and. You can't really take it because if you take time off from work, it's the stress of going back to work? What have you missed? And we don't even take time off because now you're linked to the emails and, and whatever.</p>
<p>If you take time off, you'll be pushed out of your position. I think a lot of people feel that way. You know, it's just guys, I need help because this is really depressing me. I don't know. I mean, the, the society thing in the United States is really depressing. I don't know what it's like in the UK anymore.</p>
<p>What's it like you guys get holiday?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:34:39] Yeah, I mean, not a lot holiday. I mean, I luckily have been blessed to stay away from the average nine to five jobs for a few years now. Um, but even when I was, I mean, I've had quite a few jobs and the holidays used to get like. People will be like, Oh yeah, I'm [00:35:00] doing a teaching job because it's good holiday.</p>
<p>And I'll be like, well, how many, how many holidays do you get off a year? Then that'd be like, I don't know. I'll think like 60 days or something, or 70 days is a lot from 326 days. And I'm like, what? So you think like,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:18] hold on Vegas, you guys get 60 days.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:35:23] The teachers that's really long compared to everyone else.</p>
<p>Like, you know, if they don't enjoy their job and they're working to survive and they think that's a good deal, it's just baffling.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:36] Okay. Do you know how bad I feel right now?</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:35:40] Like 20 and 30 days, I would say in the UK. Yeah. Yeah,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:43] exactly. Yeah. That's better than us. This is terrible. And this is w this is like one of the things that is breaking people.</p>
<p>And I think this is one of the situations where we don't have friendship, especially in the United States, because one we're too tired to [00:36:00] there's no money, three. We're tired. I said that already, but there's no time. We're always working for what? We don't even have health insurance. You guys,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:11] well, we don't have universal health coverage.</p>
<p>Yes. Um, but</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:17] sorry, let's be more positive. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This highway,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:23] um, you know, the job I'm currently at, they offer us quote unquote, unlimited PTO. So theoretically, I could take a kagillion days off, practically speaking it doesn't necessarily come out that way. , but bringing us back to visualization, I just had a really challenging thought.</p>
<p>So the way I like to begin every day is I like to write down all the stuff I want to get done that day. I have a, I have a, do I have a to-do list and, you know, Everybody, I think at some point has to deal with that, to do list. But what I really think I'm doing when I plan my day and I'm like, okay, I can get this done, this done, and this [00:37:00] done, and this done on some level, I'm exercising my visualization muscles because I'm kind of bringing this forth from nothing.</p>
<p>These are, this is what I'm going to accomplish now. Obviously I'm not, , I'm not, , visualizing something awesome. I'm visualizing what I'm going to get done that day, but I'm still doing that. And I'm still quote, unquote manifesting small trivial, perhaps things, but I'm still manifesting every day.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:37:27] , to-do list is a good start for somebody who has never done this before, but I think it's getting into the detail. I think having it to do list to tick things off is still keeping in that mind frame of I've got stuff to do.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:42] Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:37:43] I've got to work through this stuff before I can even think about doing something else.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:49] Yes, definitely. Absolutely. Yeah, no. I mean, it's the most trivial form, I think probably of something that starts to approach visualization. You're absolutely right. Yeah.</p>
<p> [00:38:00] <strong>Beth: </strong>[00:37:59] And so I wrote this book so that people could pick up from other point from where they currently are, you know, so they can learn the skills of how to do it.</p>
<p>And then if life gets hard and they need to come back to it again, they can go, right. I've got some steps here. I've got 10 steps here that are going to get me back on track that are going to help me to create this vision and to hold that space for that vision. Because I don't think as human beings, we gave her self, I know time to do that, to reflect and think is this actually what I want to have in my life?</p>
<p>Is this somebody else's dream? Is this my dream is this actually where I really want to be headed in.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:38] Right. And how do I even recognize I'm moving towards that dream?</p>
<p> <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:43] And then there's also the whole concept of contrast when bad things happen, it's a great opportunity for you to say, I don't choose this.</p>
<p>I choose this. So if the universe gives you chocolate cake, [00:39:00] you're like, I don't like chocolate cake. I don't know why he would ever say that, but I don't like talk like cake. I choose tiramisu. So if all you have is chocolate cake and you don't want that, it's the perfect time and the perfect setting for you to choose tiramisu</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:39:19] because we always have a choice.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:21] Right.  We have to remember that. And that's where the friendship thing comes in for me, because our friends can say something when we're wrapped up in it.  They can point to the road sign, which is what your book does for me is , look over here, there's a road sign. Look, there are boulders coming at us.</p>
<p>Let's step over here and walk this way. So the boulders don't knock you over the head, which in life they tend to do. And you, you lose faith; , you get knocked off course, but to remember what your dreams [00:40:00] are, you need a reminder, you need a friend, you need a book, and sometimes you need a friend to hold it for you.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:06] Sometimes you do. And, but you also need to recognize and celebrate. And remember when, when the successes do come, when you get closer to what you're attempting to bring in. And that's another thing that I really liked about Beth's book.</p>
<p> <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:19] Writing all the wins and also having the ritual, like having a ritual of celebration.</p>
<p>Like we were saying yesterday,  we forgot to do that , in our little family over here, we used to do it all the time in Santa Monica. And we were, when we were younger, we used to celebrate in our wins. Like, yay. Like when you're also exhausted, you're just like, okay, that, that was good. Even though it's a huge win, and you're like, okay, cool. Moving onto the next thing.  So in our little house here, we got a button, , kind of like in the commercials, that easy button for that office supply store. Our button, , we recorded it to say, yeah, [00:41:00] or so whoever gets a win and it could be any, any tiny thing is a big win.</p>
<p>Yeah, , we slam that button and it says "YIPPEEE!", and then the rest of the family has no idea what's going on, but we'll applaud: "YAY!"  in unison, like, you know, join in, right? You need that ritual, you need celebration. And  that's another thing we need to come together and hold things for each other and see things for each other and hold the vision for each other and make it happen; physically, make things happen  and join in the celebration. Because although I got very negative at the beginning of the show, because that's the state of the world right now. There's a lot of things we need to fix. I really want to choose where we focus. And as friends as a village, I want to focus on the opposite of what is happening in the world right now.</p>
<p>I want to [00:42:00] focus on a world of compassion and respect, total, appreciation for all of life, for our fellow brothers and sisters for our home, which is the earth. I just want to switch that around and I choose love and I'm choosing friendship and I'm choosing a world that is peaceful, a world that is healthy, a world that is filled with beautiful music, a world where we thrive; that we really truly feel each other in a state of resonance state of resonance.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:42:46] When you first were talking about Carolyn mace, I read her books many, many, many years ago.</p>
<p>And so I was learning about visualization from her many years ago. And , many [00:43:00] years ago I was diagnosed with Ms. And so I didn't know what to do, and I just visualize myself healthier. And that's actually how I got into what I'm doing today is to learn how to be become healthier. So I just visualized myself.</p>
<p>I am not going to be in a wheelchair because I have a young son that I have to drive to baseball and to summer camp and I have a dog to take care of and my husband. And so I just did that. And , I'm fine today. I have, didn't nothing ever happened to me, except for some, I do have some issues and, but I'm fine with that.</p>
<p>I I'm fine.  I've continued ever since and lately, my visualization has been, , to go down to three days working because, , I'm actually getting older and being on those hard floors for now, 22 years is affecting my body and I thought about it and thought about it. And finally I'm like, what am I doing?</p>
<p>I'm just going to tell my boss. I can't, I can only work [00:44:00] three days now. And they said, Oh, okay. And finally, they kept on putting off. And so I said, finally, Hey, you know what, January 1st I'm doing it. And so January 1st, well actually it ended up January 11th. I'm doing it. And now I work three days a week, three days in a row. I have four days off. I feel so much better. I am rested. I'm de-stressed, the pain in my body is leaving me and I am just so thrilled. So I know visualization does work.  You just have to have faith and you just have to do it and it's not hard.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:44:38] And  it isn't some mystical, it could be seen as mystical, but it's not, it's not, it's not anything.</p>
<p>Woo, spectacular, super metaphysical. It is pure science. You could bring it back to that. It is for real, it is a real deal thing</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:44:57] I I've  been here absorbing [00:45:00] and wanting.</p>
<p>I'm wanting to celebrate basically everything that has been brought up so far. And then I just wanted to take a moment to observe while you were speaking Fawn about requesting and remembering to choose the good knee was blowing bubbles for his sons. And they were standing there in utter awe of the miracle of these bubbles just floating around.</p>
<p>And I just remember looking just what you're talking about is happening right now in front of us. , and luckily we have our cameras on and we're able to see it, but how often is it that these little miracles are happening in the moment and , it's not named. We don't pause to say, "Look at this" and the way ...see, and he's doing it now.</p>
<p>And then if we can catch a glimpse of the joy and the delight on these sweet kiddos faces, like, that's what, that's what we [00:46:00] can embrace again too, is the utter joy and delight of a moment of this spherical floating, floating, um, uh, magic, uh,  refracting and reflecting light. How beautiful is that?</p>
<p>And so, yeah, things are pretty, pretty wonky and bananas right now on many levels, but also on so many levels and intimate levels in the kitchen of our homes are these miracles that are happening. And so I, I just wanted to say that, that,</p>
<p>that, taking the time to observe.</p>
<p>That there are, there is this brilliance around  us. It can get heavy at times, but when there's moments like that to hold on to I'm, I'm pulled up pretty quickly.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:47] That is so beautifully said, you're right. And you know what? We should be blowing bubbles every day and pointing, thank you for pointing that out because I was watching that too, [00:47:00] but the way you just pointed that out so beautifully, it changes everything.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:47:08] Well, it was like, you were narrating it, you were speaking to wanting to</p>
<p>choose</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:47:16] better and community and delight and love. And we were watching it happen. And so I was just like, well, there you go. That's you, you naming it and observing it and celebrating it. And so.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:47:30] And that's one of the secrets of, , manifesting quicker is having that appreciation, recognizing that joy, in the smallest things , not waiting for the, Oh, I'm going to be happy when I've got this amazing new house and car, whatever that is, it's in the little things.</p>
<p>And when you can be grateful for the everyday things, you can manifest more to be grateful for in the everyday.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:47:56] That's that? So that is exactly the issue that I [00:48:00] was talking about in terms of living my life four years ahead of schedule where it's just like, well, I'm going to put my life on hold for this bigger thing.</p>
<p>That's coming delayed gratification, which will help you get to wherever you need to do, because you need to focus. It needs to be Uber. You know, you need to Uber focus to reach whatever goal you want. But what happens is you get so used to not living that when it's time to live, you don't know how to do it.</p>
<p>And that's what happened to me. Right. And I saw a lot of my colleagues who are maybe 10 years or 20 years older than me, or they, you know, within surgery as a high divorce rate, um, or just having a strange relationship with kids or, , your family. And I just, I saw the, I saw you can see the signs coming, you know, very quick witted with my family, making excuses.</p>
<p>I can't go to this wedding. I can't go to that funeral. I can't do any of these things. I gotta focus, which is,  it's important to be good at what you do, but also at the [00:49:00] same time at what cost, you know, if I'm at the age of 60 and these boys don't know who I am, or don't want to talk to me or I'm paying... I have to work until I'm 70 because I have to pay alimony.</p>
<p>And what is all, what are we doing here? You know? And I, I agree with what you guys say, just the ability to just do this or five years ago, I wasn't able to do that. You know? So it's just one of those things that I just really cherish, just the small things. Then we drive used cars and all those things.</p>
<p>That's not important. It's really like these two are the most</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:31] important thing. It's the relationships we show up for. That's what it's all about. like we go to work we are trapped there and it's an ongoing machine and it's so easy to get pulled away from one another. Another thing is , when I first started this episode,  I heard myself say today, we're going to be talking about visualization.</p>
<p>And I kind of stepped out of my body and I said, EEWW..Fawn. You know, [00:50:00] because I sounded, I could S I could hear myself from the perspective of someone who's looking and listening to me as like, I'm so hippy I'm so they call it now woo-woo. And I was embarrassed using the word visualization. I was embarrassed for saying, Hey, this is what we're going to talk about today, folks.</p>
<p>But here's the thing  major athletes use this,  this was w w where, what we started to talk about yesterday, but why is it that it's okay for athletes to totally immerse  themselves in this process of visualization, where they totally see every step of every move they make in winning that race if their a runner, feeling it, seeing it, hearing it  incorporating all their senses.</p>
<p>That's what they do. That's visualization. Why is that looked at as, okay. But for me to say, we're gonna talk about visualization today. Why do I [00:51:00] feel, so embarrassed. I feel stupid. Like it's not for real, , I have to  prove  to you that this stuff works</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:07] honestly, as a society, as a culture,  we're drawn to the things that are dark or drawn to the things that cause they're serious, we're drawn to the serious things.</p>
<p>And so we're drawn very much, I think, to the negative because please, please reverse everything I'm about to say, but like words hurt. You know, if you write, if somebody writes down some negative thing about you, that's something that a lot of people myself included hold onto for a long time. You know, the words that have been said to us, , the,  somebody saying, Oh, well, you're just this way.</p>
<p>And this that the other thing. And,  in as much as they can hurt and in, in as much as a society, we tend to focus on that aspect of things. Words can also help words can also uplift us words can also,  bring people together  in as much as they do tend to divide [00:52:00] people  and really focusing on the good, , what you focus on grows.</p>
<p>, so if you focus on negative things, then welcome to negativity. If you focus on,  visualizing positive things in your life, well guess what</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:15] definitely what you focus on grows. You guys. I, so I'm going to steer in a little bit before I do that. Cause I don't want to end this episode without making sure that we say what we want to say here today regarding this topic. Does, is there anything anyone wants to add right now?</p>
<p> <strong>Paul: </strong>[00:52:37] Um, yeah, I mean, for me, I know I have to my mind, you know, well, I'm not my mind, you know, I challenge my mind every day,  on the little things like that we'll chat about, but my mind can actually go quite negative and it can go quite self doubtful and stuff like this.</p>
<p>Um, So, you [00:53:00] know, I really turn into that every day and try and see, because, so the things I achieve quite a lot at the time they happen quite slowly, and that's the beautiful thing about friends. I'd be like, wow, you're doing amazingly, look, this has happened. That's happened. And I just forget just like that.</p>
<p>And, um, you know, I will sometimes just my mind, I will wake up and it'll be like, Oh, what's the point? You know what I'm saying?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:53:25] Totally know what you're saying. I'm surprised that you feel that way. That's surprising.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:53:32] I work hard to challenge my mind every day. You know, I'm like what you want about, you know, remember you've done this, you've done that in the past three years.</p>
<p>But in the past three years of my life, when I got clean and sober off drugs and alcohol, my life has just flourished into my dreams coming true. You know, my mind just forgets that. So quickly. So I just have to challenge that mind every day. Not always sort yourself [00:54:00] out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:03] This is where I want to lead us off into is holding things for one another.</p>
<p> What can we hold for one another? What are your wishes that I can hold for you? We should all write the things down that we wish. And also what we hold for our society. What do we hold for this new world that we are creating? What are we creating? Because we are creating each other. Every moment we are creating our lives.</p>
<p>We are creating new universes.</p>
<p> Who wants to go first? All right, I'll go. I hold for the world</p>
<p>an overnight in a split second total transformation, every negative thing, every [00:55:00] hurt transmuted into pure love and understanding and compassion and respect. I hold a big, beautiful, open, embrace, and embraced by everyone on the planet. I hold perfect health for everyone. I hold prosperity for everyone. I hold.</p>
<p>Top-notch education for everyone. I hold beautiful feasts and rituals that involve wonderful tastes and sounds</p>
<p>in everyone's lives. I hold</p>
<p>sparkly, beautiful bubbles, floating in the air, tickling everyone on their foreheads, kissing them. I can go on. Who wants to take over? [00:56:00]</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:56:01] You said it all,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:56:03] especially the bubble</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[00:56:04] was it. Then I can't talk that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:08] I also hold vacations for everyone. I hold naps. I hold joy, joy. And for me, I hold, I finally figure out where we belong on the planet. That's what I'm holding for myself. Actually. Can someone hold that for us?</p>
<p>Thank you, Paul.</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[00:56:33] We can hold that for you too.</p>
<p>Thank you. Okay, who's next?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:56:38] Um, do you mind if I, I might quickly chat about, um, my main manifestation that came, came to reality my life. So when, when about three years ago towards the end of my addiction, my alcoholism, I was really F up. Um, and I was looking [00:57:00] online. Yeah, it's something I don't know about star signs.</p>
<p>And it was like, if you're born under the star under the planet of Saturn. Write down, ask for clarity, and then write your star sign and bury it in the ground. And I didn't even know what the word clarity meant. Yeah. Until I got sober. So I went out , in the garden quite F'd up, and then I, I buried it underground in the soil.</p>
<p>And then literally a month later, something just happened that pushed me to the edge and made me become sober. And I got clarity. Yeah. And I bet even if I knew what clarity meant when I was in my addiction, I would have known, ever wished for it. But because I didn't know what it was. And it came true through turning it into word; I know like Beth talks about making it solid, you know, making it real, putting a grant in the ground and it became, I'm so grateful for that [00:58:00] gift. The universe gave me when I asked for it. Um, but yeah, just</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[00:58:05] that.</p>
<p>Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, exactly. Thank you.</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:58:21] I maybe in response to all that's been said already, but thank you, Paul, for sharing, sharing your experience, because that is what I'd like to hold for you myself and everybody else is the, um,</p>
<p>the grace to ask the grace to pause and notice as Beth had mentioned, and we've mentioned in the conversation before the grace and space to notice that you have within your five, six senses, everything you need.</p>
<p>To [00:59:00] manifest and bring, bring forth. So my hope and holding for us each other and the world is the permission and the kindness and the grace and the space to ask to ask for it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:20] Beautiful.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:59:21] I just like to, add to what KJ said, really. I think I'm thinking as we're coming out of, uh, hopefully out of the pandemic and people are going to be moving maybe to some more normal, let's say, and I think it's been able to hold that space for people like KJ said to be kind to one another, as we're emerging, you know, it's going to be all kinds of emotions going on for one another and to not lose sight of what our longer term vision might be for ourselves. I think that there's the idea that we might just go back to how things were before and actually is that what we actually want for ourselves? So I'd like [01:00:00] just to hold that space for people to think, actually I want to do something different with my life. I want to, to be somebody, somebody different.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:11] I hold that</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[01:00:12] well, um, I just wanted to expand on what Beth just said, because I think that a lot of us are not going to know what to expect when everything is, so-called getting back to normal, which we'll never get back to what it was. So we kind of have all brand new lives ahead of us that we can start. And it's so exciting and there's so much to manifest in that.</p>
<p>And I think we should just,  run with it and just say, I really want this and this to happen. And just, um, think of that every day that you can do it and it's available to us. Um, as everybody just said, if you just ask, [01:01:00] so it's an exciting time coming up and I think it's great.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:04] Okay. Thank you, Katie. </p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:06] for me? My, what I would want to manifest, , for everybody is just to have a desire for understanding, understanding where everybody is as far as like, um, you know, I mean, everybody lives their own lives, but really trying to come together and trying to figure out well why, and really empathizing with people who are going through things, more empathy, which  I honestly think that  we will see more of that going forward just because I think everybody's had a really rough time under quarantine.</p>
<p>And, , I think that everybody will, , want to share and experience what other people have shared and experienced.</p>
<p>  <strong>Nii: </strong>[01:01:53] , mine is simple. I just want to hold, uh, or I won't be able to hold. We'll put out there, , the ability to empathize with [01:02:00] people who are from different backgrounds or different,  upbringing, someone that you haven't grown up with, or someone that you've never spent time with is the ability to have empathy for that person at that out there. I think that it would, , it would go a long way in terms of, , dispelling a lot of the ills that we have, we can just learn to put ourselves or put our shoes in someone who doesn't look like us. So someone that we have no relation with, I think we could better understand, uh, people who did that.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[01:02:31] Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:02:34] Gorgeous</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:34] Thank you Ni.  If I may, unless someone wants to say something else, I have  a little tidbit to close this episode with something I was taught by Gregg Braden.  He talks about this all the time, where there was this drought, he lives in New Mexico.</p>
<p>There was a drought for years, no water. , it's the concept of pray rain. You don't pray [01:03:00] for rain, but you pray rain and it's this. What he taught was this, what his friend taught him was this you want there to be rain, so you go in your circle, your prayers circle, and you visualize the rain.</p>
<p>You smell the rain, you feel the earth underneath you soaked by the water falling on the earth, you hear the drops and you say, thank you to all of that. That's praying rain. If you pray for rain, you're praying for something that's not there. And it's a continual, never ending predicament of no rain when you're praying for something.</p>
<p>But when you're praying with gratitude and feeling it with all your senses, that is praying rain, and that's how I would close it off today. [01:04:00]  Thank you to our beautiful friends. Thank you, Beth. Thank you, KJ. Thank you Nii thank you, Paul. Thank you, Katie. Thank you, Matt.</p>
<p>Thank you. Thanks babe. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you to all of our friends listening right now, our beautiful village around the world. I wish for you, a beautiful and joyful every day. Happy every day, we will talk to you soon in a few days, actually guys, with this theme, I think next week, this is what we should talk about: the reemerging of us. When we come out of this pandemic, when we come out of the hardships, when we come out of all the pain, what does that look like? This new awareness?</p>
<p>What does that look like? The re emerging into the new world, the reemerging of us [01:05:00] as human beings as friends, as brothers and sisters as family. Talk to you in a few days?</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[01:05:07] Bye bye.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:09] Bye bye guys.</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[01:05:12] Bye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ 
Roundtable #3
Today we celebrate our friend, Beth Hewitt’s book “The Power of Scripting” which teaches exactly how to go about having the life we dream of.
We speak of visualization and the utter joy and delight of a moment.
We also come together to create a vision for a better world.
QUOTE HALL OF FAME FROM THIS EPISODE:
KJ quote: “…things are pretty, pretty wonky and bananas right now on many levels, but also on so many levels and intimate levels in the kitchen of our homes are these miracles that are happening.”
Paul: “…in the past three years of my life, when I got clean and sober off drugs and alcohol, my life has just flourished into my dreams coming true. You know, my mind just forgets that so quickly, so I just have to challenge that mind every day…
KJ: …the grace to ask; the grace to pause and notice (as Beth had mentioned, and we've mentioned in the conversation before) the grace and space to notice that you have within your five, six senses, everything you need to manifest and bring, forth. So my hope and holding for us, each other, and the world, is the permission and the kindness and the grace and the space to ask for it.
We learn Katy overcame MS at an early age with the help of visualization.
Learn how Katy and Nii came to the point where they could call the shots of how they work and when they work and how that has been an extremely powerful thing for them in their careers.
Find out a visualization technique Paul used to become sober and get clarity.
Nii explains the importance of understanding that you can create money without you having to trade time for dollars, and that money is just a tool that has nothing to do with accumulating money, but it really is about the experience of a quality of life.
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Hello friends. This is connected. We have a round table show called connected. Here we are. This is it. Here we are. We are with a group of friends here to discuss how truly interconnected we all are. Today's subject is the power of visualization. What we are creating for each other, what we are creating in our lives, the power of the word, the power of visualization.
Basically. Matt, did I miss something?
Matt: [00:00:36] No, you didn't miss a darn thing,
Fawn: [00:00:38] are you sure?
Matt: [00:00:38] Pretty sure.
Fawn: [00:00:39] Okay. So for example, years ago, Matt and I, it was one I was born. Was Allegra born back then, do you know what I'm going to talk about? The coffee, the coffee. Where are we with Allegra? That it doesn't matter.
Anyway, I digress. So we're, we're getting coffee. We're on Bainbridge Island and we were [00:01:00] parents.  I think Allegra was just born too, but the only outings we would have would be to Town & Country Market .Town and Country Market is actually quite famous because, , it is a store.
Help me out, Matt, you want to jump in there? , it's a family owned store, a Japanese family. During the 1940s, the government decided to
. Yeah. Bainbridge Island has a dubious honor. Terrible honor of being the first place where they actually, during World War II, took Japanese families and dragged them to internment camps.
 (sarcasticly) Awesome. Really great legacy.
And so Town & Country was a family owned business, Japanese owned business. They were taken away. And all the people that worked at Town & Country formed banded together, came together and sustained this beautiful market. And this market is [00:02:00] the most amazing center of the entire community.
They all came together. They held everything for years until the owners could come.
...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:06:05</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED - Roundtable #2 - Greetings From Around the World - How we connect and see each other]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Wed, 05 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/connected-roundtable-2-greetings-from-around-the-world-how-we-connect-and-see-each-other</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-roundtable-2-greetings-from-around-the-world-how-we-connect-and-see-each-other</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This Roundtable we discuss all the beautiful and the variety of greetings from around the world. We ask the questions we normally ask in our culture like “How are you” and go deep into the answers we tend to get like “Fine”, which in some circles actually means Freaked-out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional. Why do we ask blank questions and expect a blank response? Do we really care? Is it just noise? Are we truly aware of how we are feeling and how others are feeling? Are we ignoring clues and signs that someone really needs us? How can we be better? How can we be authentically open and kind? How can we change the cultural norms that have become so automatic and without insight and create a more present relationship with those around us?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT:</p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Welcome dear friend welcome to our round table. This is connected. We are interconnected. Thank you for joining us. We are a table of friends and we're all interconnected. We are connected  here to create an awareness of the family that we truly are.</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:00:18] Hi everybody. , I'm KJ. I've met some of you before. I've hung out with Fawn and Matt on a couple of occasions and it was probably the most fun of my life. And so I'm so pleased to be here today. I'm chatting with our friends at this round table. , the discussions that we can come up with when we're not hitting record are fantastic.</p>
<p>So it's pretty wonderful that we're hitting record and  letting folks in to the fun that we're having. So a little about me, I'm a licensed psychotherapist and I have had a lifelong obsession with a couple of things. One of them being words and definitions and another [00:01:00] being cheese. And so we could talk about cheese and words at length at another time. possibly cheesy words (KJ's podcast: Stories of Astonishing Light with KJ Nasru‪l),</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:06], grilled, grilled cheese sandwiches.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:01:10] That's right. That's right. I have. Perfect. Well, I'll be so bold to say that I've gotten very, very good at making grilled cheese sandwiches. And so we can definitely chat about that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:21] comfort food,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:01:22] yeah. So in my, in my, in my spare time,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:26] spare</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:01:27] time. Okay. So in my spare time, I</p>
<p>, I do a podcast called stories of astonishing light and that.</p>
<p>Is a space a lot like this in which I exchanged stories with healers and artists and musicians and, , visionaries about the stories that we know, the stories that are about us, the stories that we see.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:52] We're so happy to have you all of you. And I think it's going to be,  like musical chairs because there's a group of us, a group [00:02:00] of friends, and we're here as family, your family, our friends listening, you are family. And I'm so excited. And I say musical chairs because there are some other people that want to come talk with us and have a seat at our round table.</p>
<p>So stay tuned folks because every week we're going to have even more amazingness coming up.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:02:22] Well, I don't know how I follow that, but I'm going to give it a shot, uh, between KJ and Fawn and Matt. , they're all just amazing people. My name's Brooke Voris and I'm a certified wedding planner. But more than that, I've come to realize that I needed to find a way to give back to our community.</p>
<p>And I felt like this was one of the most amazing ways to do that because my podcast "Cheers to You with  Brooke Voris" , brought me to Matt and Fawn. ,  it brought me to realize how many different people that are in the [00:03:00] world and how many different ways that we impact those people every day. So I am so excited to be part of this group with all of these amazing people....</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This Roundtable we discuss all the beautiful and the variety of greetings from around the world. We ask the questions we normally ask in our culture like “How are you” and go deep into the answers we tend to get like “Fine”, which in some circles actually means Freaked-out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional. Why do we ask blank questions and expect a blank response? Do we really care? Is it just noise? Are we truly aware of how we are feeling and how others are feeling? Are we ignoring clues and signs that someone really needs us? How can we be better? How can we be authentically open and kind? How can we change the cultural norms that have become so automatic and without insight and create a more present relationship with those around us?
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Welcome dear friend welcome to our round table. This is connected. We are interconnected. Thank you for joining us. We are a table of friends and we're all interconnected. We are connected  here to create an awareness of the family that we truly are.
 KJ: [00:00:18] Hi everybody. , I'm KJ. I've met some of you before. I've hung out with Fawn and Matt on a couple of occasions and it was probably the most fun of my life. And so I'm so pleased to be here today. I'm chatting with our friends at this round table. , the discussions that we can come up with when we're not hitting record are fantastic.
So it's pretty wonderful that we're hitting record and  letting folks in to the fun that we're having. So a little about me, I'm a licensed psychotherapist and I have had a lifelong obsession with a couple of things. One of them being words and definitions and another [00:01:00] being cheese. And so we could talk about cheese and words at length at another time. possibly cheesy words (KJ's podcast: Stories of Astonishing Light with KJ Nasru‪l),
Fawn: [00:01:06], grilled, grilled cheese sandwiches.
KJ: [00:01:10] That's right. That's right. I have. Perfect. Well, I'll be so bold to say that I've gotten very, very good at making grilled cheese sandwiches. And so we can definitely chat about that.
Fawn: [00:01:21] comfort food,
KJ: [00:01:22] yeah. So in my, in my, in my spare time,
Fawn: [00:01:26] spare
KJ: [00:01:27] time. Okay. So in my spare time, I
, I do a podcast called stories of astonishing light and that.
Is a space a lot like this in which I exchanged stories with healers and artists and musicians and, , visionaries about the stories that we know, the stories that are about us, the stories that we see.
Fawn: [00:01:52] We're so happy to have you all of you. And I think it's going to be,  like musical chairs because there's a group of us, a group [00:02:00] of friends, and we're here as family, your family, our friends listening, you are family. And I'm so excited. And I say musical chairs because there are some other people that want to come talk with us and have a seat at our round table.
So stay tuned folks because every week we're going to have even more amazingness coming up.
Brooke: [00:02:22] Well, I don't know how I follow that, but I'm going to give it a shot, uh, between KJ and Fawn and Matt. , they're all just amazing people. My name's Brooke Voris and I'm a certified wedding planner. But more than that, I've come to realize that I needed to find a way to give back to our community.
And I felt like this was one of the most amazing ways to do that because my podcast "Cheers to You with  Brooke Voris" , brought me to Matt and Fawn. ,  it brought me to realize how many different people that are in the [00:03:00] world and how many different ways that we impact those people every day. So I am so excited to be part of this group with all of these amazing people....]]>
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                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED - Roundtable #2 - Greetings From Around the World - How we connect and see each other]]>
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                    <![CDATA[<p>This Roundtable we discuss all the beautiful and the variety of greetings from around the world. We ask the questions we normally ask in our culture like “How are you” and go deep into the answers we tend to get like “Fine”, which in some circles actually means Freaked-out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional. Why do we ask blank questions and expect a blank response? Do we really care? Is it just noise? Are we truly aware of how we are feeling and how others are feeling? Are we ignoring clues and signs that someone really needs us? How can we be better? How can we be authentically open and kind? How can we change the cultural norms that have become so automatic and without insight and create a more present relationship with those around us?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TRANSCRIPT:</p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Welcome dear friend welcome to our round table. This is connected. We are interconnected. Thank you for joining us. We are a table of friends and we're all interconnected. We are connected  here to create an awareness of the family that we truly are.</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:00:18] Hi everybody. , I'm KJ. I've met some of you before. I've hung out with Fawn and Matt on a couple of occasions and it was probably the most fun of my life. And so I'm so pleased to be here today. I'm chatting with our friends at this round table. , the discussions that we can come up with when we're not hitting record are fantastic.</p>
<p>So it's pretty wonderful that we're hitting record and  letting folks in to the fun that we're having. So a little about me, I'm a licensed psychotherapist and I have had a lifelong obsession with a couple of things. One of them being words and definitions and another [00:01:00] being cheese. And so we could talk about cheese and words at length at another time. possibly cheesy words (KJ's podcast: Stories of Astonishing Light with KJ Nasru‪l),</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:06], grilled, grilled cheese sandwiches.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:01:10] That's right. That's right. I have. Perfect. Well, I'll be so bold to say that I've gotten very, very good at making grilled cheese sandwiches. And so we can definitely chat about that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:21] comfort food,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:01:22] yeah. So in my, in my, in my spare time,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:26] spare</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:01:27] time. Okay. So in my spare time, I</p>
<p>, I do a podcast called stories of astonishing light and that.</p>
<p>Is a space a lot like this in which I exchanged stories with healers and artists and musicians and, , visionaries about the stories that we know, the stories that are about us, the stories that we see.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:01:52] We're so happy to have you all of you. And I think it's going to be,  like musical chairs because there's a group of us, a group [00:02:00] of friends, and we're here as family, your family, our friends listening, you are family. And I'm so excited. And I say musical chairs because there are some other people that want to come talk with us and have a seat at our round table.</p>
<p>So stay tuned folks because every week we're going to have even more amazingness coming up.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:02:22] Well, I don't know how I follow that, but I'm going to give it a shot, uh, between KJ and Fawn and Matt. , they're all just amazing people. My name's Brooke Voris and I'm a certified wedding planner. But more than that, I've come to realize that I needed to find a way to give back to our community.</p>
<p>And I felt like this was one of the most amazing ways to do that because my podcast "Cheers to You with  Brooke Voris" , brought me to Matt and Fawn. ,  it brought me to realize how many different people that are in the [00:03:00] world and how many different ways that we impact those people every day. So I am so excited to be part of this group with all of these amazing people.  I'm  looking forward to being part of this family.</p>
<p>Thank you</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:12] guys. You are totally part of this family and Brooke, by the way, you are on the road right now. So Brooke sounds a little bit different than usual. Can I just say everyone's sitting here at our kitchen table, even though we're all in different parts of the planet, but Brooke, you look like you're flying an airplane right now with the aviator glasses and the headphones.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:36] And then I was going helicopter actually, but it's like spinning really quickly or something. He looks so bad ass, like top gun, like stared sexy.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:03:48] Thank you. I really wish it was that reason, but it was because it was so the sun is so blinding. I couldn't see if I didn't have them on and that the earphones is because I was afraid of like having</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:03:59] all the background that [00:04:00] I, so thank you.</p>
<p>I'll take those compliments.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:02] I appreciate that. Super sexy, Brooke. I love it. Thank you. And you all have heard our name actually. Yeah, you have. Huh?</p>
<p> Hello, my darlings. Oh my God. Talk about sexy. Sorry Matt (Matt and Fawn quibble,,). I'm sorry. It's the accent and the voice like</p>
<p>I'm sweating. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:04:32] My name is Paul. Um, I'm the only non podcaster to hear, I think now is my podcast. I know. So it's, it's, it's lovely to be a part of the family. I'm quite random how I became part of the family. But, um, what we're going to be chatting about is stuff that really, , connects to my everyday life. Um, how, I mean, I'm a, I'm a recovering addict and [00:05:00] alcoholic.</p>
<p>So to stuff that we talk about, I really go into anyway, um, every day into like self-love self growth, all of that kind of stuff. But my main thing is, , I'm a meditation teacher and facilitator, and I'm a personal trainer and nutritionist. , and you can find that info at www dot, meet your mind online.com.</p>
<p>And then I'm also a musician. And I love to play kind of like indie flamenco I call it. But yeah, music is where my, , my true heart lies sort of thing.  Lovely to be here, lovely to see you all</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:39] Love you, Paul,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:05:41] Love you too.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:43] And our beautiful goddess priestess here, BethBeth Hewitt</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:05:49] uh, thank you for it's so lovely to be here and connected with so many of my friends and new friends and the new listeners. And, um, I'm not sure if I soundas sexy as Paul</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:58] you do sound [00:06:00] sexy. You do call me darlin and all Swoon all over again.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:04] I'm actually not allowed to comment on any of that. So I won't</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:06:08] (Fawn in background  "you're allowed"). He's a very smart man. He is a very smart man. </p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:06:15] so my name is Beth Hewitt and I live in the UK as well. I live in a little village called Liversidge, which if you blink you'll, you'll kind of miss it.</p>
<p>It's that small. , and I suppose I've always been on this lifelong journey to  find out where I fit into the world. I always felt very different. I always felt very spiritual and didn't understand why we went to school. And then we got a job and then. We got married and we had that, did that didn't make any sense to me.</p>
<p>And so I've always been fascinated about other people's experiences and how they change direction and pivot and how they ended up doing the thing that they're supposed to be doing. , so today I'm a, I'm a spiritual and performance coach and, , I've given up my corporate nine to five where I used to, I used to work with lots of (KJ's doing the [00:07:00] whole..."YAY!").</p>
<p>, I used to help businesses.  I still help businesses but I used to help them , to grow digitally and manage lots of different business support programs. But now I work on the stuff that I really love, which is helping people find that thing that they're supposed to be doing in the world.  My podcast is called visualize you.</p>
<p>And that's because I'm really interested in visualization and the law of attraction and affirmations, and just getting really clear on that vision of what you're trying to create in the world.  I love to tell the stories of people that I've pivoted on on the show. And you can find me at www.visualiseyou.com, , or anywhere you listen to podcasts.</p>
<p>And I'm just so grateful to be here and having this conversation with you all and how we're all connected and how all our divine dots are all connected in some way and lead us to the path that we're all on.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:44] I love you all so much.</p>
<p>You guys everybody's kind of muted. Don't worry about muting yourself except for Brooke, because the car cause the helicopter is</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:07:54] quite loud.</p>
<p>It is tough being  a bad-ass pilot. So, [00:08:00]</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:08:00] There's a reason why we're all together. And with every episode it'll become more clear.  I'll just leave it at that today. You guys, , I want to talk about how we greet each other and I want to thank a person named Chris.</p>
<p>Oh, I know. I don't know how to pronounce his last name or her name. Uh, Chris Scioli or Chile, C C I O L L I R writer for AFAR. I have traveled around the planet a few times since I was born. And I've always been really astonished by how we behave and how we connect to one another and how we greet each other.</p>
<p> I was reading an article written by, , Chris and, , It was  perfect because I was trying to, , recall from my own experience, all of the different ways that I've [00:09:00] been greeted by people. And I was thinking about how I greet people.  I was thinking about how over the past few years, the greetings have changed.</p>
<p>So listen to this.  In Tibet, I'm sure we all know you stick out your tongue to say hello. Do you guys know where that actually comes from? Can I tell you it?  It began with these monks and to show that they were not the reincarnation of this cruel evil King that they had from the ninth century. Who was known to have a black tongue.</p>
<p>So  the monks would stick out their tongue to show that they were cool, right? Like not evil, not evil. Um, so that's how you say hello in Tibet. You stick out your tongue.</p>
<p>Bumping noses from Qatar, Yemen Oman, the United [00:10:00] Arab Emirates, Emirates. They bump noses. , we have air kisses on the cheek, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Latin America, Ukraine and Quebec in Canada.</p>
<p>And, , there are all these different ways to say hello. And of course, within each of these hellos, there are protocols to follow. I'm not really going to get into that. I just want to do a quick generalization. So we also have air kisses on the cheek in France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Latin America.</p>
<p>Did I already say that? I already said that. Okay. So then we go to sorry guys. , so then we have rubbing noses and sometimes foreheads, which is called sharing of breath. Why are you looking over my shoulder? I want to make sure you're going over new stuff. So rubbing noses that's in New Zealand.</p>
<p>[00:11:00] <strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:59] I got you KJ.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:02] We, of course, there's a greeting where we shake hands. Can you stop looking at me, Matt,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:07] I'm not looking at you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:11:08] You're bothering me. So we shake hands in Botswana, China, Germany, Zambia, Rwanda, the middle East, I guess, here in the United States, too. And of course, you know, this is pre COVID, but who cares? I mean, COVID will be over hopefully soon.</p>
<p>Anyway. , do you know another greeting is to clap hands, which is funny because I didn't know this, but on my own, like when I get excited about seeing someone I do like, uh, you know, but that's a deal. That's the clapping of hands in Zimbabwe and Mozambique. So here's how they do it. It's really interesting.</p>
<p>So the clapping of hands happens after you shake hands and so [00:12:00] comes after a shake and it's like a call. And answer style, a call and answer style. The first person claps once and the second person twice in response. So Matt, hi, I'm going to shake your hand and then you clap once. And I go, is that cool?</p>
<p>I love that. Anyway. So that's Zimbabwe and Mozambique, then there's also a greeting where you put your hand on your heart in Malaysia, depending on people and situations of course, , you take the opposite, person's hand lightly in yours. Then you release the person's hand and bring your own hands to your chest and, nod slightly to symbolize Goodwill and an open heart. Then there's also the greeting where we bow. That's mostly in Cambodia, India, [00:13:00] Nepal, Laos, Thailand and Japan. There's another greeting where we sniff faces. That's in Greenland. I'm not sure how to pronounce this.</p>
<p>Is it Tavalu Lu. It's Oceana. Basically. It's pressing cheeks together and taking a deep breath. So you're rubbing cheeks and you take a deep breath in. Then of course, the greeting of where you pay major respect to your elders. And that's in a lot of countries. You always greet your elders first in India, we touch their feet.</p>
<p>In Liberia and parts of Nigeria, young people  drop to one knee or both knees to honor their elders.</p>
<p> This brings me to now walking around, I mean, especially in the United States, you guys, we have a round table  from people  around the world, but [00:14:00] , I want to generalize and say, I've always noticed, and it's always really upset me when people are like, hi, how are you? Because I, over the years noticed, wow, they really didn't care about how I was, or they looked really annoyed.</p>
<p>Because I was like, Oh, well, you know, I told them a feeling I was having like, wow, I'm just taking up their day. They it's just really, it's not a sincere question. , it's not okay. It's  mean I don't like it. So why are you even asking me, you know, please, can we come up with something else?</p>
<p>And then on the other side of it was, , you asked someone, how are you? And you know, they're going through stuff and they're like, fine. And so that happened for years Matt you and I came across what "FINE" actually means when people say fine, you know, we started to think this, and then we actually saw it in [00:15:00] a movie, fine.</p>
<p>F I N E actually stands four freaked out insecure. Neurotic and emotional. So ever since we saw that in the movie, Matt and I like, if one of us says fine, we're like, Oh shoot, Oh, it's bad news. If someone says fine. Well, well, honestly it depends on the tone. Like if somebody is like, Hey, how you doing?</p>
<p>Fine. Ooh, no, you also hear people say fine. Well, yeah, but there's that lingering, longing at the end. I don't know. There are all kinds of ways and no one is sincere about it and that's got to stop.  Let's talk about this. How can we change this? How can we change this? Who should go first? Who wants to go first?</p>
<p>I don't even know what to say. Other than much like the busy, [00:16:00] which is a four letter F U word that I don't like busy, fine is another one that really pisses me off. And how are you, where I know good and well, you, you, the person couldn't care less. So let's change that because I've noticed ever since we started talking about the word busy and how it's a four-letter word, whoever talks to us that has listened to our podcasts will not use that word.</p>
<p>And if they trip and , say it by accident, they profusely apologize for saying busy. So maybe we can change fine. And how are you?</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:16:40] That's why, you know, like if they're saying, sorry, when they're saying busy, they got, a guilty conscience, if they're just saying they're busy, I'll see you later like, uh, and they got an, a guilty conscience about it, they're probably all right. And then if, if you will like, you know, offended them, maybe it's not your thing being offended, but yeah. If there's going conscious behind it, [00:17:00] then something dodgy going on in there.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:03] Well, it's always dodgy, like busy, like I'm busy. Well, okay. But if you're more humane about it or human about it, you can say I was washing the dishes all day long, or I have, you know, I'm doing laundry or I just don't want to go.</p>
<p>I don't want to go to where I, instead of saying I'm busy, it's just like a blanket statement. Like I'm not even going to give you the courtesy of letting you know about my life. I'm just busy. Here's a wall I'm busy as opposed to. I need the whole day to chill. I need the whole day to ground myself</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:43] and you haven't, then you're inviting more conversation and the person just wants to cut it off.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:17:48] Well, then it might be also like justification as well, or you don't need to justify yourself. And maybe like, if you don't know the person that way, or the, maybe you feel like you might have to, but if, [00:18:00] especially if it's a friend, you just tell them you're busy, I'll chat to you in a bit. And hopefully that friend would just be like, won't take it to heart at all.</p>
<p>But it's, it's also like, I think, , how you say stuff, you know, if, if you do say it, like, it's like how you stay on busy if you're like, sorry, darling, I'm busy. I'll see you later. Um, but I'm busy speaking to you, right. And it's like,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:25] Paul, you can say anything to me and say busy all day long and I'll be like, okay, well, okay.</p>
<p>But no, but honestly you can say I can't do it. And that's it. You know, I just, I just want busy to kind of not be used as much because you can still say, you know, in two short words or three short words, I don't want to explain, but I'm doing something else or I'm not into it and be gracious about it instead of just one word busy and, you know,</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:18:58] it's, uh, [00:19:00] Our words are really powerful though out there.</p>
<p>I think it was, sometimes we say we're busy and it's just a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. So we become even more. Busy, you know what we say? We haven't got enough time, so we don't have enough time. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:11] And we do have plenty of time. Exactly. Beth it's like, yeah, it becomes this like, uh, scratchy, gray, gross, like chaotic, like, you know, those old cartoons where the person's head had the scratchy, um, pencil drawn, like, like it's just a scratchy, messy, busy, like pencil drawing.</p>
<p>Do you know what I'm talking about?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:36] I have absolutely no idea.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:37] You don't know what I'm talking about? You know, it's like a cloud wait. Nobody does. Okay. So there's a drawing and there's like, instead of a cloud, like it's like a cloud over someone's head, but it's like, if you take a pencil and just scratch all the graphite on the piece of paper, it's like, it's like a messy, like gray, like, like it's confusion [00:20:00] and chaotic.</p>
<p>And, um, I don't know. I just, I just feel like it's the same. That same vibe is happening when we see one another and we greet each other by, hi, how are you? It's it's just really paying attention to how words are actually affecting us. And in Paul's case, I mean, he comes from a magical area and everything is so beautiful and people are lovely.</p>
<p>Same with you Beth, over there. But like, I just feel like, I don't know, is it just me? Am I the only one that who feels this way? Like things are so busy and people are so wrapped up in chaos that it's just a sound that you make, is it to say, hi, how are you? Uh it's</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:20:51] I think what happens Fawn is like, when we, when we start doing things and we get overwhelmed ourselves, it's an easier way to [00:21:00] say I'm busy.</p>
<p>Like it's, it is hard. Harsh and I, for Christmas got, , a trinket and it said I'm so busy and someone gave it to me because they thought it was cute. And I went,</p>
<p>Oh, no, that's how I sound. I sound that way. Like, I don't want people to think I'm just too busy or maybe like Beth was just saying like, I'm too important.</p>
<p>Like, that's not what I wanted to come off as, so now it's funny. I joke with my kids and I'll hold it up when I'm on a, like a podcast recording or something and I'll go, I'm so busy, but it makes them laugh because it turned into like a joke. So now, instead of saying that I'm more cautious, but I will say this, it wasn't until I had conversations with different people outside my own culture and my own area that I recognized how things sounded because in my world, it's easy to say, how are you fine.</p>
<p>Good. How, like, it's, it's the way you greet, like, yeah, I'm fine. Um, [00:22:00] I actually am one that has always hated that word. And I hate content. I think if someone's fine or content they're in hell now I know that that's not true. I know people look at that differently, but for me, especially doing what I do, I don't want to walk into a wedding and have someone say to me, I'm fine.</p>
<p>No, no, you're great. This is your writing day. You're happy, you're excited! Like it's, it's the same way. Like people get into the same routine and it's not even an intentional thing in their minds. It's just the way of their world. And until you look outside of that, which a lot of people they don't do for whatever reason, there's a million.</p>
<p>But when someone pointed out to me now, I say, Oh, I have a very full day today. Like, and I make a joke because like, I'll, I promise I'll call you back when you know, I can give you some like some focus, like I can focus on what you're talking about or. But it never was like that for me [00:23:00] until I started to recognize all the different things that, , people share with each other, and now I pay closer attention.</p>
<p>But when you're wrapped up in your day to day world, sometimes it's just easier for people to not have to take on another thing, because it seems grand instead of recognizing it could be one tweak of a word and it makes someone else's day feel better.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:21] Brooke. That was so beautifully put and it reminds me of what I wanted to say is that we can not even say anything.</p>
<p>We can, it can just be looking into each other's eyes and like taking a look at what other countries do. Like just putting your hand on your heart. And if the person, if it will not be misconstrued, if you could gently take their hand for a split second, let go, and then hold your heart. You're not saying anything, but you're saying so much and there's pure love and compassion and a healing.</p>
<p>Dare I say a healing [00:24:00] that can happen in a second. And we didn't have to use any words. And we are all seen and heard by just a gesture or a glance. Like,  and then I did something in the past week. , we've had to talk to a lot of people recently because of the podcast.  Before we start, people will say, hi, how are you before we start recording?</p>
<p>I'm like, Oh my God. And I decided to try something out because, , I had this crazy headache that lasted a week and it was starting to freak me out. I was really getting scared, like what is happening and most of the people that we have meetings with this week were  fellow podcasters. And two of them said it exactly the same way.</p>
<p>Hi, how are you? I'm like, you know what, Kevin, um, I have this really bad headache. I know, I know we're about to start our meeting, but actually I've had a crazy headache. Do you get headaches? Like, is it a [00:25:00] podcasters thing? And I caught them off guard, but immediately I could see their face change and it softened.</p>
<p>And I remember, uh, the first person I talked to was Kevin and he leaned into the camera a little bit, like half an inch. So say it's a podcaster thing. He goes, do you wear this kind of headphone? And I'm like, why, yes I do. He's like, that's the problem. And then the, and then I said it again when we had a different meeting with our friend Matthew from cause pods, by the way, shout out to cause pods and shout out to Kevin from Grow the Show Podcast. But, uh, I was talking to Matthew and he said we were both doing PodFest. Like we were part of PodFest. And I said, you know, I was joking. I'm like, I blamed PodFest because I was listening with headphones on for two weeks, straight from six in the morning until seven at night.</p>
<p>He's like, yeah, you can't do that. You can't, [00:26:00] you cannot as podcasters. We cannot like to be listening like that and something over your ear, that'll do it to you. And you know, I didn't say fine. And I know they were asking me like, Hey, hi, how are you? Expecting I find let's go like, let's start pressing buttons and get on with the show.</p>
<p>But it created, I think I know from my side I felt love from them. I felt like they got to know me better and I got to know them better because they showed a part of their lives and a part of their expertise that I normally wouldn't have seen. Like they showed compassion and it literally took five seconds.</p>
<p>Six seconds of time, you know?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:26:46] Yeah. No, no, no, absolutely. Um, I have to say that, uh, yeah. At work, starting a new project, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you know, I come into it with what I call belligerent ignorance. So I actually come into it and [00:27:00] I say, I don't know how to do something like, uh, but as a techie, you're never supposed to say that because you're supposed to know all, but you can't know it all.</p>
<p>And so being, I call it belligerent because you know, I'm not embarrassed. I'm not being sheepish. I'm saying, Hey, help me figure this out. Cause it's usually, , client-specific knowledge that there's no way I could have. , I find that this really starts to open people up because you're immediately saying, I acknowledge you.</p>
<p>I acknowledge that, you know, stuff I don't. And all of a sudden it's like, we're, we're starting to get real with each other. And I th I think that's important, , in many ways,  you do, you're doing what I can, what I call , cutting someone's ki.  Somebody has got a very focused steadfast, let's go in this direction, and you're immediately saying, Whoa, let's go over here.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:46] Which raises a question. Okay. So I have a question for you guys. Do you think that we're afraid to connect with one another? Much like when we walk past someone on the street who may be homeless or who may be having trouble and we can sense it, [00:28:00] you know, because we are all interconnected and that's the whole point of our round table is to show that interconnectedness because we are all deeply intertwined.</p>
<p>The way we become connected is through sound through our words and through our eyes and through our touch. So we're afraid to make eye contact because as soon as we do, , we travel into the realms of each other's universes. So we don't want to do that because it's too much pain. If we feel like the homeless person has too much pain, we don't want to connect with that.</p>
<p>Or we feel ashamed to connect with that because maybe we feel guilty because we're not homeless. There's so much.  Are we afraid to truly know how we are doing?</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:28:50] I, I had an interesting, I saw you lean in Matt. So what that actually, um, highlights what I wanted to say and that [00:29:00] you spoke to, Fawn. There's something about reteaching ourselves to notice the non-verbal. So like even now I saw Matt lean towards the microphone, right. And so that was a cue to me to be like, I want to be aware. I want to, I want to notice, and I'd like to give Matt a moment as well. We both were responding to your question.</p>
<p>And so I just wanted to say, I have a story that encompasses almost the whole part of your question on, and, um, it was around, um, I was walking down the street, , in my neighborhood here and, , there, there were a couple of homeless folks I'm familiar with them because that was their spot. I I'm familiar with this couple.</p>
<p>And, um, I saw them asking folks in front of me and this was before pandemic times. And so we were all just kinda [00:30:00] wandering around in clustered in our groups and going on our Merry way. Um, I saw them, I saw this homeless couple ask folks, Hey, do you have anything to. To help us out with tonight and people would ignore, or people would just kind of keep going, going forward and not acknowledge at all.</p>
<p>And then it came to us. I was in a group, there were three of us walking across the sidewalk and they asked us anything that we can, anything that we can help with tonight. And my companion said, I'm sorry, not, not tonight. Um, and I, I said the same thing and I said, no, not tonight. I'm sorry. And the homeless fellow was just like, you're, you're not sorry.</p>
<p>You're not sorry. Don't say that to me. You're not sorry. And it made me so uncomfortable because he couldn't have known this, of course, but I had literally just [00:31:00] been told about a financial disaster that I'm experiencing in my own life. And I had no money. I had not a penny to rub together to share with this individual, but for me to, I literally, and I literally was apologizing, , for myself and for the situation and that I couldn't offer this to this gentleman, but he wouldn't that wasn't in the realm.</p>
<p>We were not connecting on that level. And, , so yes, I just, I just want to say that there's so many layers behind our words and noticing, like I said, to start this whole thing off, noticing the non-verbal noticing tone, noticing body language and posture, um, and being aware, being aware, aware of what your own stuff is in the moment. This man, very difficult life.; I absolutely understand that. So [00:32:00] he was lashing out at me coming from his experience. And I was, I responded because of my experience. And so, but we missed each other completely. We really didn't hear that we were actually both in pain.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:32:14] But I think that both of you still had an interaction, which is what most people do not.</p>
<p>He needed to express to all the people that were not sorry, that said whatever they said he needed to express that. Yeah. And you also express to him what you were feeling , and had to really tell yourself, Hey, I am also going through this. So in a way you didn't push anything out and neither did he.</p>
<p>So I still see, I don't know if I'm making any sense here, but I still, hearing that story of yours KJ, I can see that there was an interaction. There was still a dance between you [00:33:00] and it was human. It was not like it was not. I'm sorry. Our computer battery just, , made a sound. So now I forgot what I was saying.</p>
<p>It was</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:33:15] Fawn. Let me just, okay. Did you catch, did you remember, I was just going to kind of bring you back to what you were saying.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:20] No, go ahead. Go ahead, Brooke. What were you going to say?</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:33:25] The bottom line is there are people that like KJ, you put yourself out there, you were really feeling pain for that gentlemen and knowing what you do for a living and how you, you know, you want to help people.</p>
<p>, I think sometimes people get more worried about being treated that way, Fawn and that's why they don't interact. I think sometimes a story like what's with what KJ just shared, you know, I had, I had a very, um, kind of strange story when I was a child, we were on a trip and I went to a Catholic [00:34:00] school.</p>
<p>So one of the priests were running the trip and there was a homeless man and I wanted to give the man money. And I was probably like, I was elementary school. I was a little like maybe fifth grade, something like that. And the priest said, no, you can't do that, but you can give him food if you'd like, like, I can't let you, you know, and I will take it to him.</p>
<p>Like you can't get off the bus. And I said, so I  got everybody on the bus to, to give me their food. Like I went around, I said, just give me the food. Like I went out and it wasn't the, like I thought I was doing something great. The man wanted money. Not food. So it's, and I'm not saying this because I disagree with what you're saying, Fawn. I think what you're saying is very powerful, but I think there's a lot of people that have stories that they've tried to do something good, or they did do something good. That's another word for may try. I hate that word. Um, but then they get swatted and they go, Ooh. And if you're not someone that's [00:35:00] ready to come back for round two, or you don't have an open mind or, um, you know, that desire, like you sort of hold on to certain things.</p>
<p>So maybe the, the change for us all is like, maybe we give it a second chance. You know, maybe the, the, the background is even if it hasn't gone exactly the way you wanted it to go the first time around, maybe that next time you'll actually make a difference in someone's life. And it'll cause a different reaction.</p>
<p>But, you know, I think we live that way all the time were things that, you know, we get stuck in what our past has shown us and we forget that it's okay to move past that and do something new.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:35:38] And also it's just beyond our past experiences. I think it's just what I was trying to say was at least there's an interaction.</p>
<p>I think that needs to be the first step is it has to be an interaction. The, the transaction may not have been financial, but there was a transaction that occurred with KJ and this [00:36:00] man, and it was two humans together. Now it may not have been what the man was wanting and you know, and it's definitely not what KJ wanted, but there was an interaction instead of ignoring  one another, instead of pretending that person doesn't exist there wasn't a, there was an interaction, there was a communication.</p>
<p>And I, what I was trying to say was that's. A great first step. And, and it also made me think, what country is it? Does anyone know there's a country where if you truly don't have anything to provide someone and someone is begging you say, I'm sorry, please forgive me. It's not the Hawaiian one. It's I want to say, is it the Philippines?</p>
<p>Like if you don't have money to give you say, I'm sorry, sir, please forgive me. But like just the whole forgiveness thing, like to say, please forgive me. [00:37:00] I have tried that like moments when I had no money. And I say, please forgive me. And I look at the person's eyes. They're probably surprised one is I'm what I'm guessing.</p>
<p>But it was not the normal interaction. It was like, they kind of paused and like were like, Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Instead of just ignoring one another. And it's not just with homeless people, it's with one another. It's just in a way we're ignoring each other by saying, how are you doing?</p>
<p>You know? And not even, not even like pausing for a response or if there's a response looking annoyed.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:37:43] I think, um, I think the beautiful thing about, um, what you're on about like interacting say with like the homeless person and then not being what someone sometimes maybe expects like, first of all, that's expectations and that's that [00:38:00] own person's expectation a bit going beautifully.</p>
<p>And then secondly, um, when it doesn't go as like one expects or it doesn't go, um, the outcome isn't like beautiful. The main thing to know for me personally, how I do it, main thing I know is that it was a test. And if I pass that test and even like how hard that struggle was just doing, maybe a simple chat or whatever, and confrontation.</p>
<p>If I kept challenging my, um, reactions, if they want to be like frustration intolerance, impatience, if I keep challenging my mind and going with tolerance and patience and love and stuff like that, even if the outcome is by the end of it, not amazing, I did my best and that's all that matters. And that is that's perfect.</p>
<p>Isn't it? That's like the best outcome that can come. Really. It's not meant to be a good [00:39:00] outcome, but it's meant to be like a test for self and how I act in that moment. If that makes sense.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:07] That's an interesting way of thinking about it, for sure.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:39:10] I think like, even now, like the fact that we're having a conversation about things that happened a long time ago, that connection.</p>
<p>The interaction has led us to having a conversation such as this. So I think just that, that, that connection at that point in time, and we all do look at things. We all do have our own assumptions and different lenses by which we connect with people. And sometimes we want to connect and sometimes we don't want to connect, you know, there's times when, I would say I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert.</p>
<p>If I go to a networking event, an actual extrovert head-on and I'm connecting with everybody in that room. There's other times when I'm walking down the street and I don't want to put my invisible  cloque on, cause I don't want to really interact with anybody. So I think it's sometimes it's about that choice and being able to read, being able to read the room, being able to read the body language, being able to [00:40:00] give people space and that pause to allow people to speak because sometimes we want to fill that space when we ask somebody how they are and then maybe they don't say anything at all.</p>
<p>I think sometimes just giving people that space to breathe and think, and.</p>
<p>You guys, this is why I stay home a lot. Pandemic aside is Matt, is it not true? If I feel off psychically, I'm like, I can't go out today because I don't have the capability to interact in situations that may throw me off guard.</p>
<p>Like, I don't know what's going to happen. Like, I, I, I just don't know. And so like, I have a brief little story of like, people ignoring me. I have many stories of people ignoring me, which happens quite a lot. I don't know why I can say and point to racism. So I remember I was eight months pregnant and I was on a photo shoot [00:41:00] and it was in Seattle and it was pouring rain and my equipment.</p>
<p>I have cases and cases of equipment. So I'm eight months pregnant, carrying all the equipment myself. Now I had a Dolly, you know, but it's still heavy stuff. It's, it's a lot of work. If you're on a photo shoot, you need a team with you. It was just me and little Elle inside of me, but it was pouring rain. And I was in this, uh, part of a building.</p>
<p>I was photographing for a pretty well-known architect. And I had access to the building. I had all the security, whatever, all the measures. And then I saw all these other architects that were on the grounds and they looked very official. They were in their suits and, you know, there were walking and it was all the men and they were quite, not too far away, but enough for them to hear my voice, [00:42:00] I couldn't lift the Dolly and all my equipment up over this one step.</p>
<p>To leave the building, like the building hadn't been completely finished being made. So I was in like part of the construction area and I really needed help and things were slippery because of all the rain and everything. And you know, I look at some people and I could tell the way they ignore me. They know I'm there, but they ignore me.</p>
<p>Like I can, I know, they know and are aware of my presence, especially when I say, excuse me, sir. And I could tell, like they were trying to look at me, but they didn't want to look at me because they probably thought because of the way I look that I was a servant a maide whatever person that they feel like they can ignore and it's socially acceptable.</p>
<p>Um, and [00:43:00] so I noticed that that was happening. Am I, excuse me, sir? Can you help me lift this? Equipment, can you help me? And he looked at me, the one of the men, the others didn't even bother to look. They kept walking and he grunted. And I think he grunted like, no, like it w I, and they kept walking and I thought, well, isn't this a bitch.</p>
<p>Like, it took me forever to figure out how to lift all my equipment up and over this one step eight months pregnant making me feel bad that I wasn't there. You were working Matt. I went on lots of photo-shoots without you. I know it's not pretty to feel bad. What I'm trying to say is, you know, even if that, if all the men have looked at me and just said, Oh, my God, like, just stop.</p>
<p>Like obviously they didn't have the capacity to get over their racism or if it wasn't racism, they didn't have the ability to like stop and say, Oh wow, we're we're [00:44:00] under this time constraints. And we can't even give another human being a second of a help. Or even if the help is sorry, we see you. We have to run.</p>
<p>We're really sorry. We'll try to figure something out. Just like, say something to me as a human being. And I think that's one of the problems these days. I don't know why all this has occurred. I don't know why everyone is suddenly so busy and so wrapped up in their own thing that we can't truly hear  one another to really know how we are doing or to even offer help.</p>
<p>And that help could have been just a look like. Oh, man. I see what you're what you're up against. Hold on. Let me figure something out. Or let me guys, like, there was like five men. I'm sure they could have just easily taken 10 seconds of their time to lift one suitcase of lighting [00:45:00] equipment. You know what I mean?</p>
<p>Like, Ugh, everyone's quiet. Am I sounding crazy?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:07] No, but I, I think there's a wide variety of emotions that go into it that people get wrapped up in. Cause you know, I like to ride my bike and when somebody's got a flat and you, you know, you ask them if they need help, sometimes I'll just be like, and they'll make you feel stupid for offering to help them.</p>
<p>So, , I've gotten to a place now where I'm like, all right, man, rock on. But like, you have to be in that frame of mind, you know, I'm being helpful. They don't want it. And that's cool. Not, um, I'm thinking I'm gonna, I'm offering help. They say, ah, and I back away, you know, it's, it's a different mindset.</p>
<p>It's it's, again, this kind of it's, it's belligerent on some level, but  it's a benevolent belligerence. , I just liked the word belligerent.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:45:53] I want to tell you a quick story. I had last week that kind of follows the same suit. I was trying to find a [00:46:00] venue for one of our couples and similar to what you're talking about.</p>
<p>Like you, you wonder what's going on in someone else's world where they're so detached from the conversation or the situation. And now it looks like to me, like, okay, I'm just going to ask, so this one gentlemen, I said, Oh, you know, I need some information. We want to send some clients your way. It was a venue.</p>
<p>And he's like, I, I can't talk to you right now. I don't have time for this. I don't have to. I went, I'm sorry. Let me just make myself clear. I want to send you business. Do you not want me to send you business? Cause I can move on to the other 15 right in the area. He went nice,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:42] Brooke. I love it.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:46:44] But it was switching his mentality.</p>
<p>He had something so important and who knows his wife could have been in labor for all. I know all that, but he wasn't giving me the response. So finally, I just stopped it and said, let me ask you a question. If you don't want [00:47:00] this, that's fine. I'll find somebody who does. But sometimes I think I used to analyze every situation and now I've decided there really is no time for the.</p>
<p>Analyzing of everything. It's let me just ask the question, let me figure out what's going on. And had I been there and saw that Fawn, I would have went right up to those people and said, are you kidding me? She's eight months pregnant and you can't give her a hand shame on you. And I bet every one of those people would have came over and helped you.</p>
<p>Like sometimes they just need to be reminded that that's just, that's just unkind. That's not nice Be kind.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:47:32] There's a mindlessness involved a carelessness. Um, some of it Beth touched on it. Some of it is habit. And we may not even understand that we are doing it. It's so deeply embedded in our patterns, in our patterning and, and in our models, if our entire family speaks this way, and this is the exchange that happens in our family, it might be very easy to and [00:48:00] comfortable to sit back and like, well, that's just, that's just, that's just our way, but, but forgetting to explain or, or have the capacity to see, but it's not just this one definition, there are more people involved. Uh, but so that's what I've noticed that there's like this impulse and pattern and habit more than anything. So, hi, how are you? It's there is no pause because it's not even just "Hi". The whole greeting is actually, hi, how are you? It's not an actual, I I've noticed more often than anything.</p>
<p>And I guess it's because it's what I do for a living. I literally want to know how you are. So I won't ask that question unless we're sitting side, you know, sitting in a, in a conversational space and I'll ask you, how are you? But I can understand how folks, , might develop this as , it's a mindless thing. It's just what you do.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:48:52] We, we say that in England that we back instead of "Hi", we sometimes go, how's it going? And that just means hi. We don't, we don't [00:49:00] want to respond. So it's just hi. It's our greeting Yeah. I like it.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:49:07] No. I was going to say I do. I do think like what KJ was saying, unless you're willing to hear the answer, maybe you want to, you want to ask it, don't ask it.</p>
<p>Or say something else. Say something else. There's something else. If you're not willing to get the real answer.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:49:23] KJ was, was, um, going kind of deeper into, like you're saying it's something like deeply rooted in us. I think like, um, doing like that thing with ignoring Fawn and about being pregnant and helping out and stuff and all that kind of stuff, ignoring people and not wanting to know.</p>
<p>I think the main thing it comes from, it's just the fear of ego of your ego self losing like part of itself its identity. It's pride, it's strength, your ego doesn't want to lose it. And that's so like in [00:50:00] ingrained into us as a human being. You know, that's one of the challenges of, of being human being.</p>
<p>Isn't it, it's trying to let go of ego, which is not positive.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:12] I was going to say it is so much fun and I prob okay. The following I'm about to say is so much fun for me. Um, and I got to the state because I have been burned so many times by people and instead of like turning into a curmudgeon and joining the gang and joining people and being heartless and not compassionate, I kind of went the opposite way.</p>
<p>And I was going to say, it's so much fun not to care and okay, this is going to sound wrong. But bear with me by not caring, what I mean is I don't care about the norms of our society. I [00:51:00] have actually stopped asking people how they are. I will point stuff out, I'll see a stranger and go, are you in pain?</p>
<p>Like, are you, you know, like, I won't say, are you okay? But I'm like, are you okay? Or if I sense, like they need a glass of water, I'll just like, here, drink this. Do you know what I mean? Obviously not to a stranger on the street, but you get the gist of what I'm saying. And it just taking this automatic autopilot and destroying it.</p>
<p>And using words that people are know are, um, expecting, you know, like going up to strangers and saying, damn, you look beautiful. You don't even know them. Who cares, but they look beautiful. Or, you know, like if someone obviously needs help, you know, they need help. Don't ask them, just do it.</p>
<p> A long time ago I read this  article and I was meant to read [00:52:00] this article because a couple of weeks later something happened and it was because I read this article, it made me do the following. So the article was about these women. I think they were in Paul. I think they were in Thailand. I don't remember what country actually, but they were traveling and there was another woman traveling and there was an accident, um, like a tourism sort of thing where this woman's husband died in a tragic accident.</p>
<p>And she was obviously grief stricken and in shock. And there were these two other women that were on the outskirts of her life. Like they didn't know each other, but they witnessed what this woman went through. And the government somehow was trying to have this woman sign a waiver. Saying, basically, um, release any kind of responsibility from the tourism board or [00:53:00] whatever it was that caused the death of her husband.</p>
<p>And because this woman was experiencing so much shock and grief, she was about to sign this thing. And these women who didn't know her were trying to say, Hey, are you okay? And of course the woman would push them. She, the woman pushes them away. And this article went on and on about how this woman kept pushing them away and wouldn't accept any help and actually told the women leave me alone, but they didn't because they knew she needed help and they didn't and they persevered and they made sure she didn't sign.</p>
<p>And the point of the article was when people are in pain, they may not even know. They, they don't know how to ask for help. They don't even, even if they do know to ask for help, they don't know how to ask or what to ask for. So if you're aware of something, just be present and don't give up. So when I read this [00:54:00] article, two weeks later, we had just moved into this house on Bainbridge Island.</p>
<p>Bainbridge Island is a place it's a little Island between Seattle and basically the other part of the part of the continent or whatever you call it. What do you call it? It's a little Island that kind of, um, people drive through. It looks like foresty. It's a foresty area, but very unconcerned people live there.</p>
<p>Like I am appalled by the kind of personality, the kind of culture that exists there. We lived there for a few years and it was really the catalyst that created the whole friendship movement because of the way people behaved .When we moved there, there was a house across the way we lived in this forest area, an older couple lived there and somehow through gossip, cause that's how people communicated. It was just pure gossip. The gossip was [00:55:00] Oh, uh, Mr. Palmer , has alzheimer's and you know, I'm like, well,  okay. Well, I'm glad I got that information. I didn't know. So one day I was coming home from a photo shoot and the sun was setting it's in the forest and it's getting dark and we didn't have sidewalks.</p>
<p>So like they're like slippery roads, windy roads. And I see Mr. Palmer walking in the other direction from his house and looking at his body language, I could tell he doesn't know where he is and I had never met him before. It was just pure gossip that I found out these people have this situation going on.</p>
<p>So I stopped the car. I rolled the window and I start yelling, Mr. Palmer, hi, this is Fawn. I'm your neighbor? Are you headed home? And he looked at me like, so thankfully, but like I could tell he was confused. He was like, yeah, I want to go home and like, jump on it. I'm headed in that direction. You [00:56:00] know, like, so I made him get in the car and I delivered him to his wife, Sylvia.</p>
<p>And it was the first time we ever met. And it was a few weeks after that, that he actually passed away. Right. Matt and yeah. And we were the only ones that were new to that whole neighborhood. People had known each other for decades. No one helped nobody helped. And. It was because I read that article because I was brave enough and couldn't care less enough to care what people would yell at me about like, go away.</p>
<p>I don't want you leave me alone. I don't care. I'm still going to step in there and be pushy if pushy is the right word. But like, you know, Matt was out there at three in the morning trying to revive Mr. Palmer, the night he passed away. And none of the other neighbors helped. They could [00:57:00] see all the fire trucks and all the ambulances and all the commotion.</p>
<p>And, you know, they're watching it cause they gossiped like nobody's business and nobody came to help the next day. Nobody came to see if she was okay the day after that, that they, after that, the week after that ever, that needs to stop. I'm sorry, long about windy. Tyra Tai Tai tirade. Is that the word tirades?</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:57:32] No, but it's good.</p>
<p>It's good that you bring this up because maybe now whoever's listening to this round table, you know, all of us have our certain take on things, but hopefully someone which is why we put, you know, why we joined to do this anyway, was to give everybody a little bit of a different impression.</p>
<p>So that way maybe you've reached somebody at a whole different level today that never even realized that they were doing something [00:58:00] so rude or, and I'll use the word rude cause that your story that's horrible. That's rude. Um, to me at least, um, I think that sometimes people don't realize that other people need just a bit of kindness and they need to get out of their own way and, and give it to them.</p>
<p>So hopefully, you know, if anything like people listening to today's show got that from your stories and from the questions that you've asked us and, you know, it's certainly making me think of things that I could do better in my world, for sure. So I hope other people get that same experience.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:36] And what I'm saying is, you know, thanks, Brooke.</p>
<p>Um, and also if you feel like you don't have the capacity, you don't have it in you to step outside and you can't handle something, then take care of yourself. Right. I mean, of course we all talk about this, right. And people call it, uh, what do you call it, Beth and KJ. We [00:59:00] always talk about this. It's a.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:59:02] Self care, care boundaries self-compassion</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:59:06] Fawn. Do you, do you think you have a problem Fawn, if you couldn't remember the word self care for yourself?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:12] When I hear self-care I feel rage.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[00:59:18] Listen, I think we're</p>
<p>all on the same point and same, same point in life. Right.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:26] But, you know, I just, you know, just taking it back to how are you, I want to go around. Let's think of a different greeting we could have instead of how are you, , you know,  one of my favorite movies that, uh, I have lots of paper of movies, but there's one and each movie that I love, I have watched probably how many times Matt, like maybe in the too many triple digits, you guys it's possible.</p>
<p>Cause it's been years. Right? And so, and some of the movies become like [01:00:00] signs from the universe for me. And also a music. Like I have a relationship with, , Ray, Charles. I have been in remote areas without electricity and Ray Charles will come on and every time Ray Charles comes on something crazy, crazy, crazy miraculous transpires.</p>
<p>It is off the wall, like amazing. So one of the movies is "Coming to America" with Eddie Murphy and Oh my God. I totally forgot what I was going to say. Um, Oh, there's a scene where Eddie Murphy. Comes up to these little girls that are staff that are sitting at the front steps. He comes close to them. He's like, I have a date with Lisa today.</p>
<p>You know, I don't know if you guys are familiar with that scene, but he finally gets a date with a woman. That's awesome. Do you know what I mean? Like, no, these kids, these kids [01:01:00] don't know him. He just comes and he's like, Oh, but they with Lisa today and he's so happy and you know what? That is a perfect substitution for.</p>
<p>Hi, how are you?</p>
<p>So let's, let's just quickly. Um, and that'll be the way we close the show off today. Let's,  come up with some new way to greet each other. And having said that, I have no idea what I would say because it changes every time.  But like let's think of a different greeting.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:34] Well, I have to say when I'm on a zoom chat, I can just be like, Paul, I see you.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:01:40] Exactly.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:41] I like that.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:01:43] That's nice. That's deep as well. Yeah. I see that as cool. We may like, sometimes I'll just go to my mates moody. Like we won't do like the Thai bow Thais, you know, they hold their hands and then the closer is your forehead, the [01:02:00] more respect they have for you and stuff, I'll do a lot at fancy twirl. You know, I'm on about to get one, one hand and you do like the little fancy twirl and the up one is like stretched out back.</p>
<p>And if we're playing, if it's like teammates, we know each other well, and we're playing around with you, stop by that. That's nice.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[01:02:19] That's awesome.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:02:21] Okay, Paul, I think I'm getting a crush on you. I see that that is adorable.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:02:32] Matt, remember would go, , to that vegan buffet and that one woman that would help us every time would curtsy. And she was not English British or anything. She would curtsy you guys like the full blown every time she saw us every time. So if in the course of an hour, she would see us what like 10 times. 15 times, but every time we said something nice, like, Oh my God, thank you for bringing us water.</p>
<p>Bam, curtsy, [01:03:00] curtsy. Full-blown curtsy like full -blown. Yeah. It was amazing. It kind of goes along with what Paul just demonstrated, you know? No, no, no, absolutely. I see you, Paul. Okay. Okay. Here's what I'm going to do from now on. I'm going to applaud.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[01:03:21] That's what I mean. Sometimes though I do</p>
<p>As do</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:03:24] I</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[01:03:25] that I haven't seen for a while. I will be like so excited and</p>
<p>like,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:27] let's do two strangers. We've never been down and do that. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:03:31] My mom and my sister did that. Me and my dad, we did different than the males in the family. We like wrap our hands when we get excited.</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[01:03:38] Nice, nice thing.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[01:03:42] I think I'm just going to go up and just randomly like, hi. Touch them. Hi. Well, I guess, you know, after COVID of course they might, they might get me</p>
<p>arrested.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:54] I like that.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[01:03:58] How can you ignore me?</p>
<p>[01:04:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:01] Oh my God. I love it. Now you look like a cheerleading cheerleader, uh, driving a helicopter, driving, flying.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[01:04:13] It all made sense to me. Fawn. I knew what you meant.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:17] KJ. It's your turn. No pressure.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:04:19] I had a couple of responses, but, um, cause I too, I'm very tactile. So Brooke, I'm I'm with you sister. I, I, I love to just even just, uh, Pat someone on the shoulder, but I also realize that, that there are all sorts of boundaries that could come up for that. And COVID so having not touching, not the tactile piece, um, I, this could be good for you Fawn when you're like, not sure what to say in the moment, because it changes all the time.</p>
<p>I look for a color that either they're wearing or is around them. And I comment on the color that yellow is fantastic on you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:56] I love that. I love that. I love that. [01:05:00] Yeah. You guys</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[01:05:00] We don't  do that.enough with strangers, we don't compliment people enough.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:05] No, that's why I said you have to be courageous.</p>
<p>Right. Just jump in there and not care. Not care.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[01:05:12] Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:13] Don't care about the insecurities or whatever there you're going to get told. Just don't care. Just go for it. Right.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:05:22] especially if they're wearing mustard. Love a bit of mustard</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:05:25] are you talking about a real mustard or the color? I'm not much of a fan of the real mustard, but the color that's all right.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:05:34] Don't mind a bit of that.</p>
<p><strong>Brooke: </strong>[01:05:38] The sun</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:05:38] don't be alarmed when all of us show up on the next call in mustard</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[01:05:42] I won't know what to say. I will be on the floor. Just like having some kind of than epiphany dream.</p>
<p>Yeah. I w I wanted to say fair. I was like, I don't know if I should use that word, but yeah. Okay. Fair. I'll be Ave. Oh my God. Can you imagine the trials is [01:06:00] about nine 96? Well, I don't think that's the extent of my mustard wardrobe. Yeah.</p>
<p>let's all meet and Greece on the beach. All of us wearing mustard, bikinis or swimsuits.</p>
<p>Yeah. Okay. How about this mustard color? I'll wear it. I don't mind.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:06:30] I love you guys so much. Thank you for I, um, I love how this all came together and I guess now coming to a close, I want to say, how do we, you know, I always laugh because when I want to say goodbye, it takes me a good 30, 35 minutes to finally , end something to like, even when you come to our house and we're leaving or probably spent 45 minutes at the door, Saying goodbye, like a million times, but it's really interesting how [01:07:00] we say goodbye to each other.</p>
<p>I like how Brazilians do it. Cause they don't just wave their hand. Like, okay, bye. They, they, uh, they clasp there. They, they like bring it in, you know, like a baby does, like, you know what I mean? So it's not pushing you away. It's like actually accepting it. That's the exact word I was looking for or receiving accepting.</p>
<p>Yeah. And that's the way we'll close the show today and just receiving and accepting and, and just being so thankful for our companionship, who knows what we're going to talk about next week in a few days, what are we going to say? Oh, we should do video everyone. Everyone is doing that gesture. The Brazilian goodbye.</p>
<p>All right, everybody friends. Thank you for listening. If you want to talk to any one of us, we're all here for you. You can go to our friendly world podcast.com. [01:08:00] KJ is there, Brooke, is there Beth is there? Paul is there, there are other people there too. If you need someone to talk to, we are here at all times, right?</p>
<p>Everybody. Yeah, absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[01:08:13] Thank you for listening.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:08:15] Thank you everybody. Thanks everybody. See you in a few days. Bye bye. Bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This Roundtable we discuss all the beautiful and the variety of greetings from around the world. We ask the questions we normally ask in our culture like “How are you” and go deep into the answers we tend to get like “Fine”, which in some circles actually means Freaked-out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional. Why do we ask blank questions and expect a blank response? Do we really care? Is it just noise? Are we truly aware of how we are feeling and how others are feeling? Are we ignoring clues and signs that someone really needs us? How can we be better? How can we be authentically open and kind? How can we change the cultural norms that have become so automatic and without insight and create a more present relationship with those around us?
 
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Welcome dear friend welcome to our round table. This is connected. We are interconnected. Thank you for joining us. We are a table of friends and we're all interconnected. We are connected  here to create an awareness of the family that we truly are.
 KJ: [00:00:18] Hi everybody. , I'm KJ. I've met some of you before. I've hung out with Fawn and Matt on a couple of occasions and it was probably the most fun of my life. And so I'm so pleased to be here today. I'm chatting with our friends at this round table. , the discussions that we can come up with when we're not hitting record are fantastic.
So it's pretty wonderful that we're hitting record and  letting folks in to the fun that we're having. So a little about me, I'm a licensed psychotherapist and I have had a lifelong obsession with a couple of things. One of them being words and definitions and another [00:01:00] being cheese. And so we could talk about cheese and words at length at another time. possibly cheesy words (KJ's podcast: Stories of Astonishing Light with KJ Nasru‪l),
Fawn: [00:01:06], grilled, grilled cheese sandwiches.
KJ: [00:01:10] That's right. That's right. I have. Perfect. Well, I'll be so bold to say that I've gotten very, very good at making grilled cheese sandwiches. And so we can definitely chat about that.
Fawn: [00:01:21] comfort food,
KJ: [00:01:22] yeah. So in my, in my, in my spare time,
Fawn: [00:01:26] spare
KJ: [00:01:27] time. Okay. So in my spare time, I
, I do a podcast called stories of astonishing light and that.
Is a space a lot like this in which I exchanged stories with healers and artists and musicians and, , visionaries about the stories that we know, the stories that are about us, the stories that we see.
Fawn: [00:01:52] We're so happy to have you all of you. And I think it's going to be,  like musical chairs because there's a group of us, a group [00:02:00] of friends, and we're here as family, your family, our friends listening, you are family. And I'm so excited. And I say musical chairs because there are some other people that want to come talk with us and have a seat at our round table.
So stay tuned folks because every week we're going to have even more amazingness coming up.
Brooke: [00:02:22] Well, I don't know how I follow that, but I'm going to give it a shot, uh, between KJ and Fawn and Matt. , they're all just amazing people. My name's Brooke Voris and I'm a certified wedding planner. But more than that, I've come to realize that I needed to find a way to give back to our community.
And I felt like this was one of the most amazing ways to do that because my podcast "Cheers to You with  Brooke Voris" , brought me to Matt and Fawn. ,  it brought me to realize how many different people that are in the [00:03:00] world and how many different ways that we impact those people every day. So I am so excited to be part of this group with all of these amazing people....]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Roundtable.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:09:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Conflict Resolution with our friend Rock (Rockwell Felder of SquadCast)]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Sun, 02 May 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/conflict-resolution-with-our-friend-rock-rockwell-felder-of-squadcast</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/conflict-resolution-with-our-friend-rock-rockwell-felder-of-squadcast</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Our friend Rock is here!!!!!!!! We met recently and it feels like a family reunion!</p>
<p>This week on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we veer away from what most people in the podcast world normally talk to Rock (Rockwell Felder) about. Rock is not only the co-founder and CFO of SquadCast, co-host of the podcast “Between Two Mics”. He’s a martial artist, a beautiful and kind human being, and a sweet friend!</p>
<p>How do we deal with conflict in life (friendships, work, life…)</p>
<p>We discuss martial arts as a means of communication, harmony, connection, and peace. Our talk is more than it seems. We discuss conflict resolution in today’s world; physically, spiritually, as well as emotionally.</p>
<p>We start with a quote from Rickson Gracie (“Sometimes, you don’t have to win, you cannot win. But that has nothing to do with losing.”) and share thoughts on winning, losing, learning, and growing in life; at work and in relationships.</p>
<p>Rock shares his experience with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, on and off the mat. Matt shares his philosophy on learning Aikido and living his practice at work. Fawn shares how she got out of a hairy situation at a Hollywood club and how she got out of a bad situation.</p>
<p>We share different ways to flow with conflict.</p>
<p>Thank you, Rock! You are such a lovely guest!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p><strong>Rock’s info:</strong></p>
<p>Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/rockwellfelder?lang=en">https://twitter.com/rockwellfelder?lang=en</a></p>
<p>LinkedIn:  <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/rockwell-felder-cpa/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/rockwell-felder-cpa/</a></p>
<p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/rockwellfelder/">https://www.instagram.com/rockwellfelder/</a></p>
<p>Podcast: <a href="https://squadcast.fm/between-2-mics/">https://squadcast.fm/between-2-mics/</a></p>
<p>Website: <a href="https://squadcast.fm/">https://squadcast.fm/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>#Squadcast.fm #podcast #between2mics #CFO #Nuggetofwisdom, #SantaMonica, #Aikido, #crosstraining, #martialarts, #BrazilianJiu-Jitsu #RicksonGracie #wrestling, #respect, #honor, #losing, #winning, #beingagoodstudent, #communication, #family, #goodteammate, #kindness, #conflictresolution,</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Okay. Hello. Welcome to our friendly world.  Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. And thank you, Matt, for reminding me, because I totally forgot about this. I had a completely different nugget today. nugget of wisdom.  I cross-trained, for a while, Matt was a pure heart, strict Aikido but I cross-trained.</p>
<p>And I went through so many different schools at the same time.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:28] You did wing Chun. You did the same time.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:33] You did keep some of it away from some of the teachers because they would punish me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:37] Probably go, do I get on the corner?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:42] That's true. I would get sent in the corner, like a bad student because one of my teachers in the beginning found out I was going to this Aikido school at the same time.</p>
<p>So he was, , Not happy. Well, he was never mind. It doesn't matter. Okay. So in one of the schools, we were training, we were, , [00:01:00] sparring back and forth, and then it was time for a demonstration. In this particular school, we really cross-trained. I mean, it was a little bit of everything. Like if any situation comes up, whatever you get thrown, you gotta  roll with it.</p>
<p>And we were really delving into Brazilian jujitsu. And  also  pure, like old-school wrestling, you know, just wrestling. One day the S uh, teacher, so, well, I was gonna say, like, there were three. In commands. I don't know how to say this, but there was obviously the founder of this particular school and he was out of the country for half of the...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Our friend Rock is here!!!!!!!! We met recently and it feels like a family reunion!
This week on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we veer away from what most people in the podcast world normally talk to Rock (Rockwell Felder) about. Rock is not only the co-founder and CFO of SquadCast, co-host of the podcast “Between Two Mics”. He’s a martial artist, a beautiful and kind human being, and a sweet friend!
How do we deal with conflict in life (friendships, work, life…)
We discuss martial arts as a means of communication, harmony, connection, and peace. Our talk is more than it seems. We discuss conflict resolution in today’s world; physically, spiritually, as well as emotionally.
We start with a quote from Rickson Gracie (“Sometimes, you don’t have to win, you cannot win. But that has nothing to do with losing.”) and share thoughts on winning, losing, learning, and growing in life; at work and in relationships.
Rock shares his experience with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, on and off the mat. Matt shares his philosophy on learning Aikido and living his practice at work. Fawn shares how she got out of a hairy situation at a Hollywood club and how she got out of a bad situation.
We share different ways to flow with conflict.
Thank you, Rock! You are such a lovely guest!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rock’s info:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/rockwellfelder?lang=en
LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/rockwell-felder-cpa/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rockwellfelder/
Podcast: https://squadcast.fm/between-2-mics/
Website: https://squadcast.fm/
 
 
 
#Squadcast.fm #podcast #between2mics #CFO #Nuggetofwisdom, #SantaMonica, #Aikido, #crosstraining, #martialarts, #BrazilianJiu-Jitsu #RicksonGracie #wrestling, #respect, #honor, #losing, #winning, #beingagoodstudent, #communication, #family, #goodteammate, #kindness, #conflictresolution,
 
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Okay. Hello. Welcome to our friendly world.  Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. And thank you, Matt, for reminding me, because I totally forgot about this. I had a completely different nugget today. nugget of wisdom.  I cross-trained, for a while, Matt was a pure heart, strict Aikido but I cross-trained.
And I went through so many different schools at the same time.
Matt: [00:00:28] You did wing Chun. You did the same time.
Fawn: [00:00:33] You did keep some of it away from some of the teachers because they would punish me.
Matt: [00:00:37] Probably go, do I get on the corner?
Fawn: [00:00:42] That's true. I would get sent in the corner, like a bad student because one of my teachers in the beginning found out I was going to this Aikido school at the same time.
So he was, , Not happy. Well, he was never mind. It doesn't matter. Okay. So in one of the schools, we were training, we were, , [00:01:00] sparring back and forth, and then it was time for a demonstration. In this particular school, we really cross-trained. I mean, it was a little bit of everything. Like if any situation comes up, whatever you get thrown, you gotta  roll with it.
And we were really delving into Brazilian jujitsu. And  also  pure, like old-school wrestling, you know, just wrestling. One day the S uh, teacher, so, well, I was gonna say, like, there were three. In commands. I don't know how to say this, but there was obviously the founder of this particular school and he was out of the country for half of the...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Conflict Resolution with our friend Rock (Rockwell Felder of SquadCast)]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>39</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Our friend Rock is here!!!!!!!! We met recently and it feels like a family reunion!</p>
<p>This week on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we veer away from what most people in the podcast world normally talk to Rock (Rockwell Felder) about. Rock is not only the co-founder and CFO of SquadCast, co-host of the podcast “Between Two Mics”. He’s a martial artist, a beautiful and kind human being, and a sweet friend!</p>
<p>How do we deal with conflict in life (friendships, work, life…)</p>
<p>We discuss martial arts as a means of communication, harmony, connection, and peace. Our talk is more than it seems. We discuss conflict resolution in today’s world; physically, spiritually, as well as emotionally.</p>
<p>We start with a quote from Rickson Gracie (“Sometimes, you don’t have to win, you cannot win. But that has nothing to do with losing.”) and share thoughts on winning, losing, learning, and growing in life; at work and in relationships.</p>
<p>Rock shares his experience with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, on and off the mat. Matt shares his philosophy on learning Aikido and living his practice at work. Fawn shares how she got out of a hairy situation at a Hollywood club and how she got out of a bad situation.</p>
<p>We share different ways to flow with conflict.</p>
<p>Thank you, Rock! You are such a lovely guest!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p><strong>Rock’s info:</strong></p>
<p>Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/rockwellfelder?lang=en">https://twitter.com/rockwellfelder?lang=en</a></p>
<p>LinkedIn:  <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/rockwell-felder-cpa/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/rockwell-felder-cpa/</a></p>
<p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/rockwellfelder/">https://www.instagram.com/rockwellfelder/</a></p>
<p>Podcast: <a href="https://squadcast.fm/between-2-mics/">https://squadcast.fm/between-2-mics/</a></p>
<p>Website: <a href="https://squadcast.fm/">https://squadcast.fm/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>#Squadcast.fm #podcast #between2mics #CFO #Nuggetofwisdom, #SantaMonica, #Aikido, #crosstraining, #martialarts, #BrazilianJiu-Jitsu #RicksonGracie #wrestling, #respect, #honor, #losing, #winning, #beingagoodstudent, #communication, #family, #goodteammate, #kindness, #conflictresolution,</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>TRANSCRIPT</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Okay. Hello. Welcome to our friendly world.  Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. And thank you, Matt, for reminding me, because I totally forgot about this. I had a completely different nugget today. nugget of wisdom.  I cross-trained, for a while, Matt was a pure heart, strict Aikido but I cross-trained.</p>
<p>And I went through so many different schools at the same time.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:28] You did wing Chun. You did the same time.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:33] You did keep some of it away from some of the teachers because they would punish me.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:37] Probably go, do I get on the corner?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:42] That's true. I would get sent in the corner, like a bad student because one of my teachers in the beginning found out I was going to this Aikido school at the same time.</p>
<p>So he was, , Not happy. Well, he was never mind. It doesn't matter. Okay. So in one of the schools, we were training, we were, , [00:01:00] sparring back and forth, and then it was time for a demonstration. In this particular school, we really cross-trained. I mean, it was a little bit of everything. Like if any situation comes up, whatever you get thrown, you gotta  roll with it.</p>
<p>And we were really delving into Brazilian jujitsu. And  also  pure, like old-school wrestling, you know, just wrestling. One day the S uh, teacher, so, well, I was gonna say, like, there were three. In commands. I don't know how to say this, but there was obviously the founder of this particular school and he was out of the country for half of the year.</p>
<p>And then there was his partner that would take over. And on this day it was the guy that's like underneath, like the major Maurice. Remember Maurice, Maurice was white. Maurice [00:02:00] was like this, a grand champion world champion karate person. Anyway, I'm not, I'm not being very technical, excuse me, but whatever , we were learning or particular move that when you're on the ground, the teacher was telling us, okay, now I'm going to do a lock.</p>
<p>And when I have someone in this position, there is no way there is no possible way this person can get out of it. That's just the way it goes inconceivable . So, and you know how you have your like best friends in school? Mine was this guy who was chosen,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:02:40] wasn't he like a collegiate wrestler?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:02:41] Yeah, he was. So he knew a little something about locks and being down on the ground</p>
<p>completely, completely. But he was so, um, uh, what's the word when they're not like egotistical, he was so humble. Yeah. And just such a sweet person. Anyway. [00:03:00] So of course he got chosen because whatever. So he got chosen and he's on the ground.</p>
<p>And now they're both in a ball, the teacher and my friend, like in a ball. And then the teacher was so happy. He's like, now look at this. There's no possible way Antonio could ever get out of this lock. And then Antonio, I remember it perfectly. Antonio just looked at me and he,  we had this communication between us because we were  sparring partners, but he just looked at me and I'm like, Oh, like I knew something was gonna happen.</p>
<p>So he smiled at me while he was all wrapped up in a knot. Like it looked like to me like, Oh , he's not, Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Sorry about the language. But it definitely looked like, okay, Antonio is not going anywhere, but why is he smiling at me like that? And so all of a sudden in a split second, he had the teacher, like it was reversed.</p>
<p>The roles [00:04:00] were reversed within a split. Second Antonio had him.</p>
<p>So what's the nugget of wisdom. Pray, tell, I mean, there's so much because. Help me out Matt, but like one of them is I I'm, um, I immediately thought even the teacher can be wrong. Yeah. You can never be cocky. Never, never assume anything. Never assume it's the end of anything. Never assume that you're on top forever.</p>
<p>What do you, what would you, what</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:34] I mean, you're nailing all the points here, hon, so yeah, no, absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:39] Alright</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:39] right. So as well as, you know, have some fun</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:04:41] with it before we go on with the show, I do want to let you know, we have a special guest here with us who is quietly patiently looking at us and he's very patient.</p>
<p>Anyway. I want to start with some quotes today's episode. We're talking about conflict resolution. [00:05:00] How can we get around situations is how do you actually want</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:03] to introduce our special</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:04] guests? Just give me a second. I have a flow. I have a flow. I promise, I promise. I want to start off with some quotes. I think you have some quotes too, right?</p>
<p>Okay. You have one quote, which is perfect because I have a few and we're just going to roll with it. Ready? The first quote is someone not from the martial arts. I don't know if he actually did, or if he don't look at my notes, I don't know if he was actually in the arts in that way, but anyway, he's an amazing artist from history.</p>
<p>He said "when the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. "That was Jimmy Hendrix. We also have in the same kind of vein is this "Angry people want you to see how powerful they are. Loving people want you to see how powerful you are." [00:06:00] That's Chief Red Eagle. I have two more. " If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Mother Teresa.</p>
<p>And the last one is from our founder,  O Sensei, who said, " As soon as you concern yourself with good and bad, you know, the , quote, unquote, good and bad, I'll start over. "As soon as you concern yourself with good and bad of your fellows, you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter .Testing, competing with and criticizing others weakens and defeats you."</p>
<p>Oh, sensei. And now I'll let you say your quote.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:47] Well, this is, I think, intended to be more of a martial arty kind of a thing. So, um, "Sometimes you don't have to win, you cannot win, but that has nothing [00:07:00] to do with losing." And that's Rickson Gracie that's that's about as official Marshall, as you can get, uh, Gracie style jujitsu, Brazilian jujitsu.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:13] So friends out there, you know, sometimes when we have guests on, I feel a little bit guilty because it looks like, wow, we have all the friends from around the world joining us. And what I want you to know is that like I often say now, I'm not sure if you've listened to every one of our episodes, I will scroll through my phone some days.</p>
<p>And will just feel like the loneliest person in the universe, because sometimes I really need to talk to someone and I feel like. I can't reach anybody. There's nobody I can call. I have no one. And it's a lie. It's a lie that we tell ourselves. We're actually all interconnected all the time.  No one is ever alone.</p>
<p>[00:08:00] And I look at the word alone. If you just get rid of one letter, it can, it can, it can look like alone. But if you bring back the one letter, it's all one, you know, if you put all those letters together, my making sense. So having said that sometimes I feel guilty when I have guests on, because it seems like we have so many friends, but I want you to just kind of follow them, follow me.</p>
<p>And that our guests today is a friend, but I, we just met. We just met. I was at a conference, a virtual conference this year. And I heard him speak just for a few minutes. And he said, one tiny little thing, one tiny little detail. And I immediately was drawn to him. I felt like, Oh my God, there's a connection.</p>
<p>I'm really intrigued by this human being. And he just mentioned that [00:09:00] he misses the martial arts, you know, this year in quarantine that he hasn't been able to train. And I'm like, okay, well, he's like, he's one of us, you know? And so, uh, I got a hold of him and he's actually this amazing, brilliant, successful person.</p>
<p> Our friends Rock Felder. Rockwell, we call him Rock and I think that's okay. Is that okay? Rock?</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:09:24] It's totally fine. Thank you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:25] He's co-founder of Squad Cast and, he's here with us today. He's here right here. Please. Welcome our friend Rock.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:09:33] Hello,, thanks for having me. Thanks for that wonderful story and those great quotes.</p>
<p>I enjoyed, uh, being a spectator, having like a first row ticket to that. So thank you. And thank you for having me. It was great meeting you at PodFest and this is the power of podcasting you meet people, and then you get them on your show and start building the relationship from there.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:51] And it's not just podcasting.</p>
<p>I mean, this is how it goes. And I want to show people as crazy as it seems, you know, you just, you [00:10:00] see a spark or you feel a spark or you feel anything. It could be the tiniest thing, Oh, someone has the same hat or someone's wearing a certain color. But if you just act on that instinct and start a conversation, you can even start a friendship right away.</p>
<p>Who cares? It's that easy. And I think in our society, that's what we've forgotten is how, how, like little kids used to do it. And even now I think this whole concept of becoming friends and really relearning the art of friendship. I feel like , it's been lost. And now it's also been transmitted to the younger kids who had no problems going up to someone and say hi, and saying, you know, hi out of the blue and just making conversation in the sandbox.</p>
<p>You know, and I've just noticed because we of course are parents now. And I've noticed that at the playground that the kids don't even do that anymore, because they're pretty much following the [00:11:00] lead of their parents and people are just not making friends the way they used to. And anyway, what I'm trying to say is if you could just follow my lead, I just literally just met Rock and I feel this kinship with him.</p>
<p>And I have no doubt and I'm just going to roll with it. And this is really the first time we're talking. And as I'm doing all the talking right now, but we want to, we want to really talk about you and your background in martial arts. Even if it doesn't matter what stage anyone is at, but just the study of the martial arts is fascinating and there's always so much to learn.</p>
<p>There's always a lesson and today, what I need help with is remembering how we can maneuver around or through conflict. And like, going back to the quote you just talked about. I mean, it seems simple, but [00:12:00] my brain kind of is pausing right now because there are so many ways we can go. It's hard for me to talk when I'm looking at you.</p>
<p>No, no, no,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:07] absolutely. I totally, I totally understand that. I mean, it's, it's a quote that I just want to sit here and unwrap for a while.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:12:13] Can you just repeat it one more time.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:15] "Sometimes you don't have to win, you cannot win, but that has nothing to do with losing." So that's like starting to open it to me says just because you didn't win doesn't mean you lost.</p>
<p>So, you know, um, and certainly again, I love to refer back to, um, um, Oh my God. I know, I forgot the name of Musashi's book.</p>
<p>Oh my God. We talk about that all the time. Yeah. The full name. Should I go run and get it? Should I go</p>
<p>five rings? No, no, no, no. Um, so I also think about the book of the five rings and one of the precepts is distinguish between loss and gain in [00:13:00] worldly matters.</p>
<p>And that ties to this as well. You know, just because somebody won doesn't mean they took anything from me doesn't mean that I had to give up some part of myself. I didn't have to necessarily lose for someone else to win.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:13:18] Yeah. And it's something that's pretty core to, uh, it's funny that it's Jitsu practitioners, the one with that quote, because that's absolutely been my experience as a practitioner of jujitsu.</p>
<p>I've only been training for five years, which for me personally feels like a significant amount of time. But compared to a lot of the other people I train with, it's relatively young in my martial arts journey or career. , but like getting used to losing is a huge part of it because, , You're A: you're just not very good at first.</p>
<p>And really the only thing that other people have on you is experience like, cause I'll be getting beat up by people of all ages, all sizes, male, female, [00:14:00] whatever, like smaller than me, bigger than me. Like I'm used to getting my butt whooped almost every day. And you know, when I do win, it, it certainly feels good, but it's not because I beat somebody it's more so that I was just executing the technique much better and that it's showing that I am learning and progressing, but trying to get a way of that concept of like losing or if someone wins, therefore you're losing and it's, uh, it's, uh, it's been pretty profound for me to learn in jujitsu because it's also translated, I think, to life where I started being more comfortable taking risks and, , not being afraid to be outside of my  comfort zone as much because in jujitsu, you're almost always uncomfortable, especially when you're first starting off.</p>
<p>And then you just learn that your body is so adaptable. And so, , it's just amazing what the human body is able to  get used to like things that used to hurt and be painful aren't on a physical level. So I just feel like so many of those lessons can [00:15:00] transcend into your personal life as well. So that's why to me there's been, , nothing like jujitsu or any kind of martial arts in my opinion of like making me a better person. And so I'm definitely a big proponent of it, but also understand that it might not be for everybody getting, you know, choked and your, your, your limbs pulled on is a bit strange. I will admit that, but, , for me and the people that I've been around, , it's an incredible, incredibly open and very humble community, even though  what we're practicing day in and day out is like fighting more, more or less.</p>
<p>It's, it's a very interesting dynamic, but, , I find these people to be very low, key, very relaxed, very like easy going , and very, um, they want to like help. They want to help you get better because they were, we were all, we all recognize ourselves as that first white belt who first steps onto the mat. I think we all  identify with that person cause we were all there.</p>
<p>Very few people actually come in and are good right away, which is [00:16:00] something pretty, pretty magical about it. Because for me I've never been so terrible at something, but so excited to learn it. Usually things that come difficult to me, um, I have to figure out, well, what's the benefit here? Why do I want to get good at it?</p>
<p>And for whatever reason, I was like, I just want to get better at this. This seems incredible. And uh, it's been an incredibly rewarding experience, you know, even in the five years that I've been doing</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:16:22] it. Yeah. Certainly it's one of the things that, , that I came to because the trick is, is it seems like people typically, you know, people I run into in the office or wherever it's like, they can't do something if they're not brilliant at it because they want, because unfortunately, , the fact that you sucked at Brazilian jujitsu when you started, well, that must mean you suck at everything. Well, no, come on. But I think people go carry forth that kind of mindset that says, , if you're bad at one thing, you must be bad at all things.</p>
<p>Because if you're good at one thing, you must be good at everything. And it's like, okay, if I've never picked up a guitar, then don't expect me to be Jimmy [00:17:00] Hendrix, you know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And it's that whole learner's mind coming into it. And you have to have that kind of presence of mind to say, all right, I'm going to be bad for awhile.</p>
<p>I'm going to work really hard and I will be less bad tomorrow, hopefully, but we'll see.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:17:19] It's so true. And that's another thing I've learned that's been fascinating is like some of these people, I only know through the perspective of jujitsu. So some of these people, I've never even seen them with shoes on, which is kind of not a unique way to get to know somebody.</p>
<p>But what we learn is, is they may be a beginner in jujitsu here where I'm, you know, five years ahead of him, so to speak, but then find out that they're some expert at something else, whether it's running a business or they have, or there's actually quite a bit of musicians that we train with, who they've toured the world doing uh, I think it was piano. One of this one gentleman did another, one's like a really great guitarist and they're like a black belt, but in their respective fields. [00:18:00] So it's just so fascinating getting engaged in the type of people that get attracted to, uh, martial arts has been one of the surprising factors, but like I said, you're getting to know people on such a different unique level.</p>
<p>It takes time to kind of pull back those layers to understand what they're like in their personal life. But on the mats, I know them as, Oh, this person's really good on the ground or this person is like a, has a wrestling background. So they're pretty, they, they, they, uh, they have brute force. Um, so it's just a fun, fun way to really meet people.</p>
<p>But yeah, for me, , it's something that I just look forward to training for the rest of my life. That's one of the other things that's been really cool is seeing that you can do it like till you're in your 50, 60 seventies. Like that's what, uh, others, uh, kind of, it's kind of like an exercise and fitness, but it, it, it's so much more beyond that as well.</p>
<p>And the fact that you can do that for so long is incredibly special to me,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:18:55] it is, it is so deep. And when you take it off the mat and you [00:19:00] live your life that way, that's what it's all about. I mean, that's why it's such a beautiful art form because it's not just about the locks. It's not just about the technique.</p>
<p>It's the technique of pursuing life and pursuing relationships. You know, I had, um, this college professor who, always had the most interesting insights, but one day you could always tell,  he was going to tell you something because he would just look out in outer space and like, Pause for a few seconds, but he told us, you know what, you guys, I miss being on the bus.</p>
<p>The bus is the only place like a crowded bus where you can literally just put your head on someone's shoulder and not have it be creepily awkward. You know, that human beings are meant to connect. Human beings are meant to touch. We need to, to [00:20:00] embrace one another, but  in our society and our culture, we have our bubbles.</p>
<p>And if you step inside my  bubble, it's just, it's awkward. Right. And I know, or in a time where everything is just turned upside down and there's a lot happening. And there's a lot as a woman, I'll say like, finally, like women are definitely setting boundaries. That it's not what I'm talking about.</p>
<p>I'm talking about just as far as human beings  learning how to connect and putting your hand on someone's hand for comfort. I feel like it within a school with an a martial arts school, it can be any style, but the fact that you're learning to dance together in a way, you know, it's that back and forth.</p>
<p>And it's, it's a, uh, it's on a psychic level. It's on a physical level, it's on an emotional level. It's it has to do with [00:21:00] ego. Non-ego like all of that is brought together on the mat, in these amazing courses or classes or schools, whatever you want to call them, whatever style of martial art, I think much like religion, they're pretty much all saying the same thing. It's about respect, right? Respect and honor, and the flow of life. And. Help me out. Why are you staring at</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:30] Discipline? And</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:21:31] of course disciplin</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:32] kinship and yeah. Respect and honor and decency and all these wonderful things.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:21:38] Yeah. I'll tell you what, for me that, , something that's been a bit that I've  figured out during my journey was when I first started, I was like I said, very terrible and really just passionate about getting better. And so I was really  focused all on myself and  getting myself better and, Oh man, I can't believe I'm still terrible. I've been doing it for three months. I should be better now kind of thing. And then I [00:22:00] started just realizing, and I think I probably heard it on a podcast of someone talking about just focusing on being a better  student to your sensei or to your coach, like making them  proud to have you as a student; them looking forward to training you because it's, it's a pretty big deal to have someone that has, that is a black belt,  giving back all their knowledge to , these students , because  there's no  guarantee that I'm going to be dedicated or show up, but yet they're  expected to treat everyone as if they will be. And I think that, and then they just are expected to show up pretty much every day. They don't get a lot of days off their time away from the mat.</p>
<p>And not that I've ever heard, any of them want that or asked for that, but I just think it's a huge deal that they're, they're given so much of themselves it's back to us students. It's incredible. So focusing, changing my focus from being just a better student,  to  my instructor, but then also focusing on being a great training partner for all my peers and that really focusing on again, like having them looking [00:23:00] forward to training with me, whether it's in sparring or just drilling moves and stuff like that. Like just focusing, not so much on myself, but just like on the different parties, uh, if you will, that are part of a jujitsu class. Like, um, I don't know. I feel like it made the experience a lot more rewarding and easier because I wasn't just so, like, it was all about me.</p>
<p>It was really just about more people and that my contributions were to something greater, I guess. , and I don't know, it was kind of liberating.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:23:29] I totally understand that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:30] Absolutely. Honestly. And you know, for me, , even from the beginning I came into Aikido, I saying, , I don't like the way I'm taught, I converse with people. I don't like, I don't like, you know, it was more about, rounding myself out as a person and getting those rough edges worked off. So, you know, if you can take what you, what you're doing with in Brazilian jujitsu, and you take that through to, let's just say work, let's just leave it at work for a second.</p>
<p>Boom. I want to be a good teammate. I want to make [00:24:00] sure that on my team, you know, my, my little I'm a, I'm a full-stack software developer, so my programming team can move forward, you know? Um, yeah. And in point of fact, , it's kind of funny, cause I just started yet another new job. My company got acquired by another company, but anyways, um, and, and I'm, I'm meeting all these new people, right?</p>
<p>And, you know, it's, it's my goal just to be a great teammate and you know, I'm, I'm getting that back and it's, it's really kind of nice cause everybody's going out of their way to explain how much they're enjoying working with me, because I like to believe I'm enjoyable to work with. So taking it off the mat to me is, is absolutely key in getting that positive reinforcement that you get in, in school as far as like, you know, this is a good thing.</p>
<p>And then carrying it outside of it is to me. That's that's the bliss of it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:24:52] And I think that, yeah, it's, I mean, bottom line martial arts or no martial arts, we're all here to [00:25:00] serve one another. We're all here for each other. We're here to help each other out. We are really that connected. So if I'm hurting here, guaranteed, you're hurting over there.</p>
<p>If you're hurting over there, I'm over here on the other side of the planet, I can feel your pain.  I believe that  it is just that,  close knit that it we're here together. Everything affects everything else. We're, it's part of the we're part of the entire universe. We're all interconnected and I forgot what I was just going to say, but Matt, like, but that's also one of the things that I learned coming into the Aikido school where we met Matt is because I was cross training because I was like going, doing all these other crazy styles that were very much like just, I was learning to break [00:26:00] things, you know, and break people.</p>
<p>And when I walked into this school over here where Matt was, it was like, I was blown away by their kindness. Not that my schools were not kind. They definitely were very respectful and lovely actually. But I came in like a wild devil,like I came in,</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:26:24] What a discription!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:26] Do you know what I mean?</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:26:27] I think I do!</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:27] I was out like, I wasn't out of control, but I was there to create ruckus because that havoc, I w I mean, I was ready.</p>
<p>I'm like, come on, come on, come on. And they were, so they were such great hosts and that's what Matt, Matt was the teacher's pet, but he, he taught me like, the world is your home. And, and that's what we talk about on our podcast all the time is the world is your home and everyone is your guest. So treat them as an honored guest in your [00:27:00] home.</p>
<p>And if everyone did that, and that's what we all do in the martial arts, but in life, I mean, that's the way it should be. And that's one of the lessons I learned from my Aikido. Thank goodness.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:11] Yeah, certainly that, that was a keen focus on our school was just, I mean, obviously your first time you walk into any dojo, you know, Everybody's super happy to have you there.</p>
<p>And it's an amazing thing. Doesn't matter what style this is. I've encountered this in any number of different schools. They're excited to have you there. They're excited to share what they're doing. They're excited to explain, you know, where the focus is and isn't so yeah, no, it can be an absolutely miraculous thing.</p>
<p>However, topic of the show,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:40] I know I was going to go there. Can I bring something up?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:42] Yes ma'am.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:43] Okay. So where I was going to take it to, is obviously conflict and conflict in real life, but like as martial artists and from whatever, we've been able to gather over our studies, if we could share how we deal with conflict.  I have, I think one or two ways.</p>
<p>I'll go [00:28:00] first though. Okay. So. Example first. I remember. Do you remember this Matt? We went to, so we lived, obviously we're from LA. We went to a nightclub. Do you remember that with Jim? Jim was one of our black belts from Matt's school.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:17] Careful. We ran into a minor celebrity. I wouldn't mention who he was.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:20] I'm not gonna say who he was, but I was going to talk about that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:23] Yeah, no, I know you're going to talk about him. I just want to make sure you don't</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:25] so, okay. They were at this fancy schmancy Hollywood hip club, right? Loud, loud music, um, whatever. It's a club. Hollywood. And I was with Matt and our friend, Jim, who's a black belt. And so, you know, always ready, like always like for anything to show up and because I was cross training and it was something that I did not learn in Aikido, I was learning my own style through the  the karate and the Jiu Jitsu and all that. And the [00:29:00] judo I was learning to totally get out. Sorry, I just knocked the mic. I was learning how to get out of really bad situations, especially being a small, small woman. And so here we are aware of this club and somehow I got separated from Matt and Jim and somehow I don't know how it happened, but I ended up talking to a circle of people.</p>
<p>I really, I'm not a celebrity type person. Like I don't care. Usually I really don't care. And I didn't know who this guy was. It was. Somehow I found out later</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:32] that's how minor of a celebrity he was.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:34] No, it was a  big celebrity, but I had never seen him. He was a radio personality, right? Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:41] But again, strictly Z level okay, not,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:44] he was pretty big and he definitely had the ego and he was also big as in like physically big. And I was the only one in that circle that was a woman. And I was talking to these people and all of a sudden, [00:30:00] and I don't know if it was from the alcohol or what, , I don't know if   he was under the influence of something, but, or maybe just his poorness poor as in personality.</p>
<p>But he grabbed me by both of my wrists and pulled me to him. He was sitting down and I'm really short. So now we're idle eye to eye and. I had two reactions, one, I couldn't believe my good fortune that here's a learning experience. Like, okay. Aside from the mat, can I really get out of this situation? Like real life situation and Holy moly, this grip is really tight.</p>
<p>And at the same time I looked over and I see Matt and Jim leaving their drinks. And , in my mind of frozen snapshot of them,  leaving the table,  in mid pace to come rescue me. But I think I nodded to you guys, like, hold on a second. , like I nodded to you, cause my hands were  [00:31:00] locked.</p>
<p>And I was  within this guy's um, like I was really like, he had me in tight.  What do you call those snakes that wrap you and squeeze you. Yeah. And so I remembered very calmly what I was taught,  what we practiced all the time.   My eyes went soft. So I just got out of this wrist lock and believe me, this guy was really strong and huge.</p>
<p>And I remember the look on his face. Like he was so shocked and then I started laughing. I think I ran away. Did I run away?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:36] I think, no, no, no. I, we, me and Jim came up behind you. Oh really? Yeah. We were, we weren't looking at him very kindly.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:45] I got out of it myself.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:31:47] Right. </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:31:47] I remember his shock was how did she do that? But anyway, I was going to say my way of conflict is always 1) surprise; because you never think I'm the one that's going to knock some [00:32:00] kneecaps out. Right or because  I'm so soft-spoken usually, you never expect me to get upset or people assume I'm not educated or they assume whatever racially that  whatever preconceived notion someone has, they think I'm that.</p>
<p>So that is how I maneuver through conflict because I have that element of surprise because of the person's ignorance. And so that's how I deal with conflict is like, I don't know. Is that, is that a good example? Now I'm  rethinking it. That's how I've dealt with it.  If the person doesn't have enough respect to be reciprocal in  the respect that I'm giving to them, then I just walk away as soon as I'm safe and I don't want to create war, I'll have to walk away and disappear forever. That's how I've handled conflict. Rock. How do you do it? How do you, what, [00:33:00] yeah. How do you deal with conflict?</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:33:02] Yeah, it's, it's definitely, I think, evolved and changed and I don't know whether jujitsu has something to, has it had a direct impact on my feelings towards conflict, but I would say that I start, I feel much more confident and I do think jujitsu has helped with that confidence when it comes to conflict.  I just find myself  being much more proactive, a big part of it though, is to think first and , not act first and then think because generally that initial action is probably at least for me, , not the best choice. And so I wanna, keep a cool head and not resort to any assumptions or any kind of a fight fire with fire, so to speak.</p>
<p>But, , I think lately it's just been more so aware that , No conflict is not a bad thing. In fact, good things can actually come from it. And, , probably the worst thing is to avoid it because especially depending on the circumstances, if it's with a significant other or [00:34:00] family member or coworker,  avoidance has never really the answer cause it usually just bottles up and sometimes, eventually just spills over and becomes a much worse than it ever needed to be had it not been addressed and resolved right from the beginning. And I do feel like, again, I just keep coming back to that; I think jujitsu really helped me deal with that because when I, once I was starting with jujitsu and really finding a passion for it, I was also, , having more demands put on me for work and was more into  a supervisor manager role.</p>
<p>And so I had to  let people that I was responsible for , either offered opportunities to be supportive and help them and train them, but also be a little firm as well when they weren't holding up their end of things. And, , definitely not something I wanted to do. I typically like to lead by example and, , if I'm asking someone to do something  I'm not asking something, I wouldn't be willing to do myself.</p>
<p>That's,  definitely my style of leadership. It really resonated with me a lot watching "The Last Dance" documentary that focused [00:35:00] on Michael Jordan and the Bulls. And he was always talking about that. Uh, he being Michael Jordan that like, yes, I was hard on my guys, but I would be in the gym just as long, if not longer than all of them.</p>
<p>And I do like to see myself as being that type of leader, but you do have to be firm and potentially uncomfortable. And what I learned with just, dealing with it, learning how to manage it and not shying away from it, which again, those feelings really coming up to me when I was going at jujitsu, it was very uncomfortable when I was first starting, but I just learned that,  usually things work out a lot better than whatever you have it in your mind, working out as, and, , I think that's helped with significantly , because conflict, I think we look at it as a bad word and it doesn't need to be. It doesn't have to, it doesn't mean that you and that person are in opposition. It just means that maybe you're not understanding or not communicating. And so I think for me, it's really helped me be a lot more compassionate and empathetic and just improve my communication and my [00:36:00] patients because, um, yeah, it's usually not as bad as what we make it think.</p>
<p>Yeah, no, no, no, no. I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:06] totally agree. Conflict to me is you're kind of stripping away all this, veneer, all this stuff that you're like hiding and you know, it's like, you really upset me Rock. I'm having we're we're now having a real conversation, as opposed to before. Maybe I'm just like, Oh yes. What?</p>
<p>Yeah, whatever Rock. And you know, I'm ignoring you,  I'm now present and I want you to be present. We can be present and we can maybe sort something out. Um, but we can't sort it out if we're not willing to be real with each other.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:36:38] Yeah. It's almost more respectful than again, you think like someone  being in conflict with you is like a bad thing, but if anything, if they're asking for you to, Hey, this is how I want you to communicate to me, or this is how we can improve moving forward.</p>
<p>That's actually coming from an incredibly, respectful and honorable approach than trying to bring someone down. I just think [00:37:00] it's not something that we're unfair. Unfortunately, I wasn't taught that it's something I've had to learn and adapt to. And, um, yeah. And luckily I think more and more of these types of conversations are being had and I think people are a little bit more willing to be, transparent , but still it's still like for whatever reason in us as humans, it just like, you feel it, Oh, this is uncomfortable. I don't want to do this. But I've just  learned to embrace it and you get better at it. It is like a muscle, just like, I imagine,  negotiation is kind of a muscle.</p>
<p>It feels uncomfortable, but the more and more you do it, the more comfortable you become and learn to, , just embrace that aspect of, of living. And so conflict is just one of those things that, unfortunately, I shouldn't say, unfortunately, because it does lead to , some growth, but, uh, it is a part of life.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:47] Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:48] So now I'm realizing I sound like a total idiot, cause I'm like I got out of it and I I'm gone. I will disappear, which is totally going against what I normally say [00:38:00] is I love you the way you both just. Spoke about it, but I realized I sounded terrible</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:08] interaction, honestly, there. Yeah. I</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:10] said disappear.</p>
<p>I, you know, and, and what I promote, what my whole mission is, is to have people  become comfortable with the uncomfortableness of disagreeing all the time. And especially because of the state of our country and the state of the world, it is the perfect time to have conversations , and look at conflict as a beautiful thing, because it is  the mess that has been growing over here in the corner, in the dark molding and getting disgusting.</p>
<p>And we're finally seeing it. Everybody's seeing it. We're trying to clean it up, , like when you beat a dirty rug, all the stuff starts flying in the air and it looks like chaos, but you're cleaning up.  You notice the chaos, you notice the dirt and it's [00:39:00] time to fix it. So that's where we're at.</p>
<p>But I I'm saying I feel bad as it's, because I do disappear when things get so bad guys I'm gone,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:11] but that's the key you said so bad. Okay. What</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:14] do you do when it's, you're both stuck and you're both in a lock?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:19] There, again, it depends, you know, so bad. Yes. If I have somebody diametrically, opposed to me, who's screaming at me and not going to listen to what I have to say, that's it I'm I'm done! Bye </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:29] But we can't  be done. Look at the state of our country. Right. You know,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:32] we need to get to a place. That's,  a whole bigger topic that we'd have to get to a place where we can respect each other and we have to get to that place, but we can't get to that place. If I'm going to give you the microphone and you're going to scream at me and I'm just going to sit there and take it.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:39:49] No,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:49] you know that that will not get us there. What will get us there is for you to go off into your neutral corner, calm down and say, okay, I'm ready to have a dialogue, [00:40:00]  and we have to get to that place. But again, sometimes with conflict, it's important to just,  break the hold and walk away.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:06] Sometimes it's a spiritual thing because I was describing how he was staring at me. And for me it lasted minutes and I'm sure it lasted half a second. That when I got out of that lock and he looked at me in that look of shock, I didn't say anything. I may have giggled,  because I was proud of myself for the martial arts move that worked in real life.</p>
<p>But I was thinking, I think I was communicating to him. That's not how you do. Right. Don't touch people like that, but that's just it. And I think I zapped him.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:42] But  it's the way, O Sensei would talk about : you're walking across the mat. Okay? And he would do this. And like, there would be like five guys grabbing on him and trying to stop him.</p>
<p>And he would, it looked like he literally just kind of like shrugged his shoulders and they all went flying, because he was on his path and  he wasn't [00:41:00] going to, in that moment, he wasn't going to change their minds. He wasn't going to affect change. He was going to walk his walk and if they wanted to talk to him later, they could do that.</p>
<p>But there are those extreme moments where you have to just stay on your path  and be strong on your path, you know, there in the world of business. And I know you've probably run into this to Rock, but there are those people who don't want to listen. They don't want to do the things that they're supposed to do, and they don't want to help the team.</p>
<p>There may be out for themselves, or they're just out to take you down. There's not a lot you can do about that other than say, you know, I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work other than showing them who you really are and that you want to help them. What else can you do?</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:41:42] And what I like about your stories, the fact that, like you said, I was thinking that as you were telling the story, I was like, it sounds like things were playing out over the course of like five minutes, but it probably happened in milliseconds.</p>
<p>And the fact that you were able to  think that way and stay  calm and collected and reflect on [00:42:00] your training. And it. And use it within such a short period of time is, I mean, that's the whole self-defense aspect of, , martial arts at play right there. And, um, I think it's a great story. And, and cause you never really know what you're gonna act like.</p>
<p>I mean, yes, we go and train and if you do this move, I would do this. Or if they did this, I would do that kind of thing. But you really never know what's what, what your brain and body are gonna do when that's actually happening in a somewhat threatening position. So, um, yeah, I almost wish I would have had a good example like that to think of.</p>
<p>I can only, you know, most of my conflicts do come from like business and personal life, which I guess is a good thing because I don't need to begin into street fights or have guys grabbing my wrists. But, uh, still it's, uh, that's what we trained for is for,  to be prepared in events like that.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:49] Yeah. And Oh sensei like are the founder of our school always said that. But basically the training is make sure your circle is pure. So you don't even attract that to [00:43:00] you so that you're always walking in peace. The last thing we ever want is that violence. So make sure that you're clear wherever you go, your mind is clear.</p>
<p>Your body's clear, your emotions are clear so that your circle is clean.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:20] Yeah, no, no, no, no. . Absolutely. And honestly it's about, um, nevermind. I totally forgot what I was</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:43:25] gonna say. It's it's also like we have to, I know it'll come back to you. It'll come back to you. Let it go. Let it go. And I'll come back.</p>
<p>But while, while no, don't let it go like that. Um, now I was, no.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:43:41] Okay. Now I remember so to me, , martial arts, studying Akido, it gives you a framework in my mind, at least because,  if something is going to come at me spiritually, energetically, physically, mentally, emotionally, you know, I'm aware I have options. I have [00:44:00] options of different ways I can handle it, different things. I can do different mindset because I'm grounded because I've been through interesting;I played through interesting scenarios. One of the tests at my school was there was basically, there was against all the rules of Aikido; there was a kata. Okay then, which is just a stylized series of moves. And in a  test for one of the belts, you had to do the same move for the whole variety of attacks because it shows you, it doesn't matter the technique you use, it's not about, Oh, well, if he grabs my wrist here, then I can put my hand over it and I can bend it back.</p>
<p>Doesn't matter. It's about the energy. And it's about the fact that, you know, that there's always a way through, and then you carry that out off the mat and into business. And you realize there's always a way to make sure that,  you can walk out of a scenario and not lose because, but that has nothing to do with losing.</p>
<p>[00:45:00] <strong>Rock: </strong>[00:45:01] I'm so glad you remembered because that's a great way to articulate it, that that whole thought about options. Cause that's absolutely true. And I think options  make you feel liberated because maybe you're more in control. Right. That's usually when we would, it reduces down to when we, as humans start to flip out as we feel this lack of control.</p>
<p>And so yeah, learning that you have options in conflict on, on the mat, but off the mat too, is, uh, is a great way to feel like, yeah, you're a little bit more in control and , not out of any options. And one thing you also said that I thought was really one of the things I get out of jiu-jitsu that I never anticipated and I don't know if it's really talked about, is this  sense of play that this is where this is, that's my time to  be silly and play and let loose. And I do think that also helps me keep a clearer head when I'm going about my regular day in regular life, and,  able to think clearer when it comes to different types of conflicts or uncomfortable situations [00:46:00] cause, , I'm a lot more relaxed. I use that,  the training  as a way to  exercise that play, conflict management, stress and all that stuff. That's where I get it out of. And so, yeah, it's, uh, it's something that, again, I don't, we don't tell adults, like we think of play is like not something that we can do because we're, we're not kids anymore, but like that's probably what's missing, right.</p>
<p>Well, no, that's,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:21] that's where you and I differ because I own my inner eight year old. I play all the freaking time. I really try hard to play every day. Um, you know, do my coworkers see that. Well, as a matter of fact, yes they do. Because that's part of what I bring to the table. That's part of me being a good team member is that, you know, every day I'll joke, like, you know, in any way I can respectfully.</p>
<p>And that's always, the key is be very respectful.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:46:46] But so you guys, of course, like I always take it to universally. I take it globally. I'm looking at the state of the world, I'm like:  guys, how are we going to fix this? Because [00:47:00] like I said, what do you do when it's just one side versus the other? Once again, I knocked my mic.</p>
<p>I'm sorry, (Rock says it's all that Karate chopping) RIGHT?! , I miss it so much. Um, what do we do? What do we do when we're at is, is the word stalemate.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:19] Stalemates a good word.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:21] How do you say it again?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:21] Stalemate.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:22] Yeah. Okay. That, so, okay. I know this is a, I want to get really deep here, Rock, can you , come back. And can we continue this? Cause I know you have, you have a full, you can go for a few more minutes, but like, so I'm, I'm just trying to think, how can we solve the world's problems?</p>
<p>And I feel like in us coming together or friends coming together and when we discuss things, I do believe that we are actually creating energetically solutions. We're actually clearing the air. If you will, in some ways, when we're having  these discussions and I've been thinking, [00:48:00] what do we do now?</p>
<p>Because honestly, the world seems so, so, so divided that there's like a huge gap between even the division. It's like a huge Canyon. What do we do now? Because. We've all been in a lock there's no, we're at a point where you, I don't know if we can find common ground anymore. Do you know what I'm saying? You guys, and so I don't know.</p>
<p>I'll just, I'll just put this out there. If you guys have something to add to it, maybe that would help, but I, I guess I'm going to take  back to emotion that when I was sparring with one of the heads of the school, she was like, she wasn't the head, but she was definitely the top notch student with the most amount of stripes on her black belt.</p>
<p>And I was, I was sparring with her and I've said this story, I'm sorry, guys, [00:49:00] those of you who've listened to every episode, but here's the second time I'm saying this now, but we were sparring one day and she kept knocking me on my head. Hard hard. And at this school we didn't have pads. We didn't have a cushy, uh, springing nice floor.</p>
<p>It was all hardwood. And  we just went for it.  If you got thrown boom hard floor. So we were sparring and , she kept knocking me on the head one after boom, boom, boom. And each time I felt I was getting more focused and more energized. And then all of a sudden she's she kept repeating that I was losing.</p>
<p>I'm like, is she trying to taunt me? Because all right, then I CA I felt like my energy was building. And because my energy was building, I was like, I'm going to win. And what was happening was she kept [00:50:00] saying, you're losing. And then she finally stopped. As she's still clocking me on my head. And she was so fast.</p>
<p>I couldn't even block like, and some of them I did block it. I was like, yeah. Yeah. And she's like, you're, you've lost. I'm like, no, keep going. I have not, I have not lost. I'm not losing like you, your rage is building. You're getting angry. And when you get angry, you've lost. And it took me a while to really understand that.</p>
<p>And I think if we take things too personally, if we can leave our emotions out of it, I think we can get out of this mess in the world. If we can not get angry, if we could find a way to become detached in a way from what we're all dealing with with this, with everything, with all the crisis of everything, [00:51:00] if we can somehow have a soft eye approach to it. Like you can see everything, but you're not focused on one thing and you can not take a personally and you cannot get angry. I don't know. I think that's the only technique I know of right now to get through conflict. I don't know.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:21] See for me, I think what we have going on is we've got a lot of voices talking and there's a lot of people with a vested interest in,  spurring us all on to fight.</p>
<p>You know, as far as I'm, now we're talking more about politically and the political divisions that are that exist. There are people who are making money off of our divisions. There are people who, , want to goad us into fighting and, and we go to these people who are goading us and say, Oh no, no, please help, help give me more energy so I can fight even harder.</p>
<p>I think if we can just be, if everyone was dealing with the [00:52:00] same stack of facts is a good place to start,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:03] that will never happen.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:04] That's it? I'm saying it's a good place to start. Well, because one side says, Oh, but this is going on over here. And the other side says, well, I've never heard of that, but there's all this stuff going on over here because the bullies aren't telling us the whole information, they're telling us the selected pieces to keep us fighting.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:23] And that's where we lose. If we constantly fall prey to emotion like that, it's a base, energetic, low level vibration.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:35] Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:35] To get angry or to take things personally.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:39] Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:39] But if you can just not even deal with facts, like that's what I meant about having the soft, soft I approach. It's like, let's just, just operating from a heart level.</p>
<p>Purely energetic level</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:55] And that will work if the other side isn't goading you,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:59] but that's [00:53:00] just it. You have to not let it get to you like that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:04] And then they'll start with the dealing off the deck that says, well, you don't even know what's going on because this is happening and this is happening and this has happened.</p>
<p>And then you feel like a dumb</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:53:13] person who makes it so confusing. Yeah, absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:17] So you have to have your stack of facts and they have to have their stack of facts. And all I'm saying is if you both have the same stack of facts, you might might be able to find truth.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:53:28] Like you said, I think it's a good place to start.</p>
<p>I think there's absolutely. And this is the unfortunate thing is people that are, uh, that benefit from us being divided and angry and, um, upset. It's, uh, it's pretty, pretty sad, you know, but, um, I think to answer your question for me, I think it's just more of that approach of  trying to be a good student to my coaches and trying to be a good teammate to my peers. I think just taking [00:54:00] that to every aspect of life and not just keeping it on the mat, but like, I think Matt, you had a good example of being that way at , your work environment. But what about our neighbors? Like, you know, a lot of my neighbors don't like saying, hi, I can't help but say hi to them cause it's like, I live next to you. Like the least I could do is say hi, we don't have to like each other. We don't have to be friends, but I got to say hi, like I got to acknowledge your existence, your presence. Like to me, that just seems fundamentally not to. Yeah. Yeah. And so I don't know, just trying to be like that towards everybody I guess.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn and Matt: </strong>[00:54:36] Be a good host,</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:54:37] Be a good host,</p>
<p>tying it back to the mission. See, I</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:54:42] knew, I knew I loved you rock. I knew it that instant. I, this is why I love you.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:54:49] Well, thank you. I didn't expect. Anybody to really understand my frustration or, uh, you know, that's been for me the biggest and I guess unfortunate, but you [00:55:00] know, the, the pandemic in that sense, like taking me away from jujitsu, something, I loved the people that built unique, , relationships with like, that's been pretty, pretty difficult, but I don't expect anybody to understand that that, because most people haven't been in that environment haven't trained and they probably think it's a little weird, cause it's obviously the most unsocial distant thing you can do.</p>
<p>Um, but yeah, certainly been missing it. And uh, so thank you for understanding.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:55:27] Oh, I, I understood completely. It was like, you read my mind because I mean, I haven't, I haven't practiced in years because I can have my reasons and my excuses, but I miss it so much. And I miss not only the art of just working like that every day.</p>
<p>But I miss the relationships. I miss that contact, you know, the lessons, the, that high you get. It's amazing. It's [00:56:00] and you</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:56:00] two met via martial arts</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:02] that's we fell in love. Yeah. We have a whole story behind what lock. It actually like happened.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:56:09] What rock unlocked the, uh, the relationship.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:56:14] Totally.</p>
<p>Because my heart was a little bit locked. I was in total denial at that point. Like, love is not here for me. And, but yeah, there was, I don't want to let this episode go. I feel like we're, we're just touching on it and I don't agree with you, Matt, about the facts and the facts, because I feel like. In a way I'm not I'm okay.</p>
<p>This is going to sound terrible. But I was going to say, we have to get rid of the facts and just, that's not w we can't deal like that anymore because we've tried, this group wants to act with these facts and this group with these facts, it's, we're, we're always going to be in the same lock. We're always going to be [00:57:00] in the same.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:02] Right. But you described a scenario where we were all locked up. You mean you're right. The right thing to do is for both sides to leave the mat and never come back to the mat and just talk to each other, like</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:13] regular, and that's not going to happen either. Um, because something else needs to happen before that.</p>
<p>What are we missing? And I think I'm just going to go back to it. You guys, I think what we're missing is the anger issue. You can't like that black belt was telling me you're losing because you are getting angry. You cannot get angry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:36] You're emotionally connected. Yeah. We have to become. So if we all deal with the same stack of facts that aren't twisted by either side, then maybe, </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:47] how can we close this off?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:49] I don't want a really good time. Unfortunately,</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:57:51] we want to keep having a good time. I hope you're having a good</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:57:54] time.</p>
<p>No, I can't see Rock that's bothering me. I want to see his</p>
<p>face.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:57:57] You know, actually I was researching you and [00:58:00] every, every single podcast was like, Oh yes, we're talking to rock about how to monetize . And I was like, okay, I don't Fawn deals with all the monetization of the podcast. I was like, no, what's it.</p>
<p>Like, I don't care about monetizing and, and all the rest of it. I just want to know who this guy is. So I've had a really good time, like, like exploring that a little bit with you.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:58:25] Thank you. Me too. I don't get to, like I said, I don't, I don't get to talk about this stuff very often. So it's actually like, I've been waiting to talk about this stuff because it is, I think a little bit more interesting to than just like the podcast stuff.</p>
<p>Like yeah. That's what I do. And I look at love to talk to podcasters all day and help them with their shows. But, um, there's other stuff I'd like to talk about too, right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:58:49] We, we like to be whole people and talk about all of our passions.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:58:53] Yeah. And can you, um, so I, I will have information on Squad Cast in the show notes, [00:59:00] so people can go to you.</p>
<p> But before we go, Let's just make a date. Like let's make a play date. What if, what if we do a round table and we invite some of the Gracie family in, can we do that?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:59:16] I don't know. I I'd be, I would be so terrified that I would say something that, that would embarrass myself. I am not even kidding. Like I'd mispronounce something or I'd make an assumption.</p>
<p>And then I just feel so completely.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:28] But babe, that's why people don't make friends because they're so scared of this and that let's just, let's be down to clown, like you say, but I mean, obviously with respect,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:59:39] right? I know. I just feel like, you know, I can, I can punch a little above my weight, but not too far, you know, who</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:45] else would be great to talk to?</p>
<p>Is the cockroach,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:59:49] the Roach God. That's another one. I would just feel like I would just have to say yes, sir. No, sir. And that's about all that I could get into a conversation with him.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[00:59:58] Little  star struck.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:59:59] Well, [01:00:00] what was his name was St. Pierre or St. Pierre de do you know if George?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:04] Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness.</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[01:00:07] Cockroach. He still trains like every day, all the time. Like he's, he's not a fighter anymore, but he, Oh, he is.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:14] He's he's he's the man in the same way that the whole Gracie family is the man. I mean, there are certain jobs unassailable just figures, frankly, as far as I'm concerned.  </p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:24] But you guys, what do you think let's, let's create a play date and continue this conflict resolution stuff about the world, from the perspective of all the various difference leaders in the martial arts,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:40] that would be a lot of fun actually.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:41] And in, do you want to do it? Yeah, I'm</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[01:00:45] serious. She is, by the way, I have not, I have no doubts</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:00:49] that she has no fear. She punches way above</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[01:00:51] her weight. Cut. That makes you special.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:00:59] Okay. [01:01:00] So I I'm going to be on it.</p>
<p>So there you go, guys. Let's do it. The conversation continues.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:01:08] Okay.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:01:09] All right. If you want to hear more about Rock  Felder, Rockwell Felder, we have information in the show notes in the show notes and probably our website go to ourfriendlyworld.com. Rock. Is there, do you want, do you want to just tell our friends how they can get ahold of you?</p>
<p>And do you want to tell them anything about whatever  you want the world to know right now via our friendly world?</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[01:01:33] Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you again so much. I had a great time, uh, again, talking about topics and subjects that I don't normally get to talk about when I'm on a podcast. Cause usually my experience with a squad cast where we help pod-casters record their shows remotely. Usually that's the topic that we focus on. And certainly, always happy to talk about that, but talking about some other deeper issues and issues that can connect to martial arts and spirituality [01:02:00] and all that stuff has been a great time for me.</p>
<p>So, uh, if you want to connect with me and talk more about podcasting or martial arts, best places on Twitter or LinkedIn, uh, Rockwell Felder. And, um, yeah, I guess just the last thing is like, if you are, uh, if you have any type of like, Um, aspirations to try out jiu-jitsu or any type of martial arts and are a little intimidated by it, just know, , everybody is, I think when they first start off. I certainly was, I still get intimidated when I'm going to like a new school, , just because  everyone does it  little bit differently. And of course you don't want to, you want to still like, do your best and stuff like that. Um, so it's, it's okay.</p>
<p>You're not alone, but I think what we've talked about here is that most schools, most people in the martial arts community are going to be extremely welcoming and want to just help you out. And so if you have any like aspirations at all, like tinkering around in your head, just like. Try give that, put that investment into yourself and give it a shot.</p>
<p>It may not be for [01:03:00] you, but, uh, if it is, it could be life-changing like it was for me. So I highly encourage anybody to give it a shot.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:03:05] Yeah, we did. And it's also such a thing for a great mental health. It's not just physical. I mean, the, you just feel so good and you feel uplifted about the world. You really do.</p>
<p>I don't know what it's kind of like yoga, like you do yoga. You're like, why am I so peaceful? All of a sudden you get the same effects as a yoga person doing martial arts. We're not about beating each other up. It's about communication really? And connection. Oh my God. Okay. Friends. Talk to you in a few days ROCK!.</p>
<p>Oh my, well, hold on, Rock! . Thank you. Thank you for joining our friendly world. And it it's such an honor to, I'm just going to say, put myself out self  out there and put Matt out there. It's an honor to be your friends. Um, and we're so grateful that you are here. Thank you [01:04:00] so much,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:04:00] indeed. Thank</p>
<p><strong>Rock: </strong>[01:04:01] you. Look forward to continuing the friendship.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[01:04:03] Awesome. Okay. Talk to you in a few. Day's everybody. Bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Our friend Rock is here!!!!!!!! We met recently and it feels like a family reunion!
This week on Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt, we veer away from what most people in the podcast world normally talk to Rock (Rockwell Felder) about. Rock is not only the co-founder and CFO of SquadCast, co-host of the podcast “Between Two Mics”. He’s a martial artist, a beautiful and kind human being, and a sweet friend!
How do we deal with conflict in life (friendships, work, life…)
We discuss martial arts as a means of communication, harmony, connection, and peace. Our talk is more than it seems. We discuss conflict resolution in today’s world; physically, spiritually, as well as emotionally.
We start with a quote from Rickson Gracie (“Sometimes, you don’t have to win, you cannot win. But that has nothing to do with losing.”) and share thoughts on winning, losing, learning, and growing in life; at work and in relationships.
Rock shares his experience with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, on and off the mat. Matt shares his philosophy on learning Aikido and living his practice at work. Fawn shares how she got out of a hairy situation at a Hollywood club and how she got out of a bad situation.
We share different ways to flow with conflict.
Thank you, Rock! You are such a lovely guest!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rock’s info:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/rockwellfelder?lang=en
LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/rockwell-felder-cpa/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rockwellfelder/
Podcast: https://squadcast.fm/between-2-mics/
Website: https://squadcast.fm/
 
 
 
#Squadcast.fm #podcast #between2mics #CFO #Nuggetofwisdom, #SantaMonica, #Aikido, #crosstraining, #martialarts, #BrazilianJiu-Jitsu #RicksonGracie #wrestling, #respect, #honor, #losing, #winning, #beingagoodstudent, #communication, #family, #goodteammate, #kindness, #conflictresolution,
 
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Okay. Hello. Welcome to our friendly world.  Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica. And thank you, Matt, for reminding me, because I totally forgot about this. I had a completely different nugget today. nugget of wisdom.  I cross-trained, for a while, Matt was a pure heart, strict Aikido but I cross-trained.
And I went through so many different schools at the same time.
Matt: [00:00:28] You did wing Chun. You did the same time.
Fawn: [00:00:33] You did keep some of it away from some of the teachers because they would punish me.
Matt: [00:00:37] Probably go, do I get on the corner?
Fawn: [00:00:42] That's true. I would get sent in the corner, like a bad student because one of my teachers in the beginning found out I was going to this Aikido school at the same time.
So he was, , Not happy. Well, he was never mind. It doesn't matter. Okay. So in one of the schools, we were training, we were, , [00:01:00] sparring back and forth, and then it was time for a demonstration. In this particular school, we really cross-trained. I mean, it was a little bit of everything. Like if any situation comes up, whatever you get thrown, you gotta  roll with it.
And we were really delving into Brazilian jujitsu. And  also  pure, like old-school wrestling, you know, just wrestling. One day the S uh, teacher, so, well, I was gonna say, like, there were three. In commands. I don't know how to say this, but there was obviously the founder of this particular school and he was out of the country for half of the...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:05:20</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED - Roundtable #1 - A Kind World]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Wed, 28 Apr 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/connected-roundtable-1-a-kind-world</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/connected-roundtable-1-a-kind-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Sometimes the world can seem unbearable. Today, beyond introducing you to new friends, I want to focus on one thing we have witnessed on earth, to hopefully give light and encouragement for all of us to look towards the beauty and magic out there.</p>
<p>This is our first roundtable with great friends to introduce you to from around the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello friends. Welcome to our friendly world. This is, this is Fawn and Matt, we are starting something new today. It's a series that we're calling connected. It's all about how we are all interconnected. We have a round table here. We're going to do this every week. We're going to have amazing friends. And we're all from different walks of life.</p>
<p>We're all quite different. We all have different jobs on this planet. And the whole point is to make our circle grow, to make our friendship circle grow. Most of us here have never, ever met one another in person and we all have different takes on life.  Today we're starting this whole thing. This is our very, very first episode.</p>
<p>And when you scroll through every episode will be called "CONNECTED", followed by [00:01:00] or word, and today's word is kindness.    To start off, I want to talk about our connections to one another. What we're starting here with this round table is much bigger than this little episode. What we're doing is we're going to start conversations, having to do with everything in life, from money to you, name it.</p>
<p>And everyone here at this round table has their particular expertise. And if you're out there listening and you want to join us, please  send me an email. And we'll, we'll gladly, gladly accept you into the round table. We're sitting here right now at our kitchen table, and we're surrounded by some amazing friends.</p>
<p> We have Beth Hewitt, Dr. Nii Darko. We have KJ Nasrul. [00:02:00] We have our beautiful friend, Katie, our beautiful friend, Paul, and some of them you've heard on our episodes before there are other people coming next week. Kindness. What is that? That's our theme today and I'm here to bring all the aspects of life together.</p>
<p>We're all touched by money. We're all touched by health, where we all have our rituals. We have life and we share a life together. The truth is that we are all connected. And that is this whole topic. This whole topic of connection is that it's to have a get together. Are interconnected family.</p>
<p>We're going to converse about it as friends. We all have different perspectives. I'm sure if we really got into this deep, I'm sure whoever's at the table. We all have different political beliefs. We have different ideas. We've all seen different things [00:03:00] walking on the earth. And the point is to practice conversation.</p>
<p>Sometimes it may become uncomfortable, but we're in the comfort of our home. All of us right now. And you're home. You are ourhome, you are my home. We are friends. And no matter what you say, it will be treated with respect. You will be treated with respect and you will be heard. And I think that's the key these days.</p>
<p>It's the key always is to hear each other, to see each other and to be heard. And that's what this is all about.  Thank you. Thank you friends for being with us today. , I have, we've all walked, walked the earth for awhile. I'm going to start with a little question and then. I'm going to let that question sit for awhile and then I'm going to have everyone introduce [00:04:00] themselves.</p>
<p>The question today is, so we've all been on the earth for awhile. We've all walked the earth and we've all seen somethings. And I really like, I know most of you here. I know all of you here, but what I admire about everybody here is you all are so positive. And the way you describe things is quite beautiful.</p>
<p>I'm a photographer. I have been shooting for a very, very long time an...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Sometimes the world can seem unbearable. Today, beyond introducing you to new friends, I want to focus on one thing we have witnessed on earth, to hopefully give light and encouragement for all of us to look towards the beauty and magic out there.
This is our first roundtable with great friends to introduce you to from around the world.
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] music Fawn, and Matt: [00:00:00] Hello friends. Welcome to our friendly world. This is, this is Fawn and Matt, we are starting something new today. It's a series that we're calling connected. It's all about how we are all interconnected. We have a round table here. We're going to do this every week. We're going to have amazing friends. And we're all from different walks of life.
We're all quite different. We all have different jobs on this planet. And the whole point is to make our circle grow, to make our friendship circle grow. Most of us here have never, ever met one another in person and we all have different takes on life.  Today we're starting this whole thing. This is our very, very first episode.
And when you scroll through every episode will be called "CONNECTED", followed by [00:01:00] or word, and today's word is kindness.    To start off, I want to talk about our connections to one another. What we're starting here with this round table is much bigger than this little episode. What we're doing is we're going to start conversations, having to do with everything in life, from money to you, name it.
And everyone here at this round table has their particular expertise. And if you're out there listening and you want to join us, please  send me an email. And we'll, we'll gladly, gladly accept you into the round table. We're sitting here right now at our kitchen table, and we're surrounded by some amazing friends.
 We have Beth Hewitt, Dr. Nii Darko. We have KJ Nasrul. [00:02:00] We have our beautiful friend, Katie, our beautiful friend, Paul, and some of them you've heard on our episodes before there are other people coming next week. Kindness. What is that? That's our theme today and I'm here to bring all the aspects of life together.
We're all touched by money. We're all touched by health, where we all have our rituals. We have life and we share a life together. The truth is that we are all connected. And that is this whole topic. This whole topic of connection is that it's to have a get together. Are interconnected family.
We're going to converse about it as friends. We all have different perspectives. I'm sure if we really got into this deep, I'm sure whoever's at the table. We all have different political beliefs. We have different ideas. We've all seen different things [00:03:00] walking on the earth. And the point is to practice conversation.
Sometimes it may become uncomfortable, but we're in the comfort of our home. All of us right now. And you're home. You are ourhome, you are my home. We are friends. And no matter what you say, it will be treated with respect. You will be treated with respect and you will be heard. And I think that's the key these days.
It's the key always is to hear each other, to see each other and to be heard. And that's what this is all about.  Thank you. Thank you friends for being with us today. , I have, we've all walked, walked the earth for awhile. I'm going to start with a little question and then. I'm going to let that question sit for awhile and then I'm going to have everyone introduce [00:04:00] themselves.
The question today is, so we've all been on the earth for awhile. We've all walked the earth and we've all seen somethings. And I really like, I know most of you here. I know all of you here, but what I admire about everybody here is you all are so positive. And the way you describe things is quite beautiful.
I'm a photographer. I have been shooting for a very, very long time an...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[CONNECTED - Roundtable #1 - A Kind World]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>1</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Sometimes the world can seem unbearable. Today, beyond introducing you to new friends, I want to focus on one thing we have witnessed on earth, to hopefully give light and encouragement for all of us to look towards the beauty and magic out there.</p>
<p>This is our first roundtable with great friends to introduce you to from around the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:00:00] Hello friends. Welcome to our friendly world. This is, this is Fawn and Matt, we are starting something new today. It's a series that we're calling connected. It's all about how we are all interconnected. We have a round table here. We're going to do this every week. We're going to have amazing friends. And we're all from different walks of life.</p>
<p>We're all quite different. We all have different jobs on this planet. And the whole point is to make our circle grow, to make our friendship circle grow. Most of us here have never, ever met one another in person and we all have different takes on life.  Today we're starting this whole thing. This is our very, very first episode.</p>
<p>And when you scroll through every episode will be called "CONNECTED", followed by [00:01:00] or word, and today's word is kindness.    To start off, I want to talk about our connections to one another. What we're starting here with this round table is much bigger than this little episode. What we're doing is we're going to start conversations, having to do with everything in life, from money to you, name it.</p>
<p>And everyone here at this round table has their particular expertise. And if you're out there listening and you want to join us, please  send me an email. And we'll, we'll gladly, gladly accept you into the round table. We're sitting here right now at our kitchen table, and we're surrounded by some amazing friends.</p>
<p> We have Beth Hewitt, Dr. Nii Darko. We have KJ Nasrul. [00:02:00] We have our beautiful friend, Katie, our beautiful friend, Paul, and some of them you've heard on our episodes before there are other people coming next week. Kindness. What is that? That's our theme today and I'm here to bring all the aspects of life together.</p>
<p>We're all touched by money. We're all touched by health, where we all have our rituals. We have life and we share a life together. The truth is that we are all connected. And that is this whole topic. This whole topic of connection is that it's to have a get together. Are interconnected family.</p>
<p>We're going to converse about it as friends. We all have different perspectives. I'm sure if we really got into this deep, I'm sure whoever's at the table. We all have different political beliefs. We have different ideas. We've all seen different things [00:03:00] walking on the earth. And the point is to practice conversation.</p>
<p>Sometimes it may become uncomfortable, but we're in the comfort of our home. All of us right now. And you're home. You are ourhome, you are my home. We are friends. And no matter what you say, it will be treated with respect. You will be treated with respect and you will be heard. And I think that's the key these days.</p>
<p>It's the key always is to hear each other, to see each other and to be heard. And that's what this is all about.  Thank you. Thank you friends for being with us today. , I have, we've all walked, walked the earth for awhile. I'm going to start with a little question and then. I'm going to let that question sit for awhile and then I'm going to have everyone introduce [00:04:00] themselves.</p>
<p>The question today is, so we've all been on the earth for awhile. We've all walked the earth and we've all seen somethings. And I really like, I know most of you here. I know all of you here, but what I admire about everybody here is you all are so positive. And the way you describe things is quite beautiful.</p>
<p>I'm a photographer. I have been shooting for a very, very long time and I got to say ever since I was a baby, I feel like an alien having come onto this planet. I see its beauty. I see the beauty in humanity. I see the beauty of the earth, but to be honest, Looking around. I feel like I'm always in shock.</p>
<p>Like there is so much beauty, but I look at it, not with a smile on my face. I feel [00:05:00] like my face probably looks really puzzled and my eyebrows are going together. Like I'm in shock. Like I can't just enjoy things.  Everything seems so serious to me. I could look at something beautiful, but at the same time I have seen some devastating things, even if it's beautiful. So I have a hard time with it, with the question I'm about to pose to you, which is what is the most beautiful thing that you have witnessed on this planet? And please don't tell me, Oh, the birth of my child or the birth of this child. Yes, that's, that's a given all life is precious.</p>
<p>Precious life is precious. I want to know. What's seen out there on this planet. Has shown itself to you for you to say, wow, that's quite beautiful. And first we're going to introduce ourselves and then I'm going to go first. I'll go first as an example of what I've seen, [00:06:00] but let's go around. ,</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:06:02] Thank you Fawn. And it's such a pleasure to be here on this round table with you all.</p>
<p>So my name is Beth Hewitt. I'm in the UK, I'm a spiritual performance coach and I help people either pivot in their career or starting a business that is more in alignment with their, true selve's calling. And that is kind of born out of my journey of being a serial pivitor over the years, and just really wanting other people to follow their passions.</p>
<p>Do you want me to answer that?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:32] The beautiful, no, no, don't answer the question you just talk about, but you allowed to like, am I allowed to, um, spill.... We have, um, Nii, his beautiful son is here. Hello? I don't know your son's name. Are we allowed to say on the air? Is that okay?</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:06:58] Is that my name or my son's name?</p>
<p>[00:07:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:07:00] Your son's name will be also</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:07:08] that were from the boys. are named Nii and the girlsare named Naa, um, but there's a hyphen it's hyphenated and it tells you like the lineage, uh, to ours. So I'm a Nii, my first name is Nii Darko. He is Nii Amu. Well, my, my second son right now, I'm watching them on camera right here, but he's Nii Doduu. And it just kind of keeps going until, you know, stop.</p>
<p>So there's like Nii Ofed there's Nii Ajee there's all these different versions of meaning. , but you know, some people decide to call their, , their kids by like a westernized name, um, first, and then they'll have, , their Ghanaian name, as their  middle name. Um, but because my parents, you know, I was born here.</p>
<p>My parents didn't want me to ever forget where I'm from. So Nii is my first name.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:07:59] Nii [00:08:00] what part of the world are your parents from? What part of the world are your parents from Ghana? I thought you said, did he say Ghana? Okay. I'm sorry. I'm listening anyways. So back back to Beth for a second, Beth, tell us more about you.</p>
<p>I mean, I know about you. I asked me a question from what would you like to know? Um, I was going to ask, is it okay if I spill some stuff I know about you already? Is it okay, so Beth and I have been talking for months now, but is incredibly intuitive, you guys, I talked about Beth on what show was it? It was with a show with Paul titled "I need a friend." Beth is very intuitive. You can read, you can do cards, you have this amazing,  , metaphysical quality. How can I explain it? Katy can probably explain that stuff too, but you're, you're quite [00:09:00] spiritual Beth and your skills are amazing. You're highly tuned to some divine aspect of the universe.</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:09:10] It's funny. Isn't it? It is intuition. And it's like a knowing. It's just like, sometimes you can hear the words and sometimes you can feel the emotions and it's almost like I can connect the dots between things that are happening. So I'm, I feel I'm always one step ahead sometimes. And that comes really in handy sometimes in</p>
<p>life quite often.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:32] Yeah. Always, always, right. Like you and I with KJ, we'll talk about astral travel. Like it's no big deal. Well, I astral travel astral traveled over here. This is what I heard today, guys. And it was just our normal conversation.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:09:49] So that's Monday.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:09:53] That was KJ talking by the way. , anything else you want to add, Beth?</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:09:59] I don't, I, I [00:10:00] it's really hard talking about yourself. Isn't it? I don't know. I just feel like I've always been on this, this spiritual journey since I was. Uh, a baby, since I was born, I knew, I think similar to you Fawn. I have memories of being a young child in nappies, you know, experience in the world the first time.</p>
<p>And, uh, I just, I've just loved the journey of life really. And the, and the twists and turns I,</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:10:22] it has results. And, um, also importantly, please tune into Beth Hewitt's podcast. Everyone. I</p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:10:32] should have said that. Yeah. So I'm the host of the visualize you show. And that is all about telling the stories of people who have pivoted in their careers who have started their own businesses.</p>
<p>And whether it's been  through a change that they've made themselves or some life occurrence has happened, which means they've had to change direction.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:10:54] And, and that's the, that's the way things go.</p>
<p> I remember  our friends would sit together and [00:11:00] we would just look at society as a whole. And we would have these sessions where we would see into the future, like feel into the future and we'd be sitting there and  we'd be going like. Wow, job security.</p>
<p>People think their job security is that's it, but we're going to, there's going to be a time when your job is not, it it's not your life and it's not where you're going to be doing. And you have to be really flexible. You'll have to go with the flow because everything will change. And like one reason why I homeschool, why we homeschool is because the jobs that.</p>
<p>Our kids will have don't even exist yet. So we have to be malleable. Is that a right word? Malleable. Yeah, sometimes I say words and I'm like, is that the word? I don't know. I don't know.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:11:56] I don't know if you heard, I tried to mute it quickly. Um, there was someone [00:12:00] knocking on our door, housekeeping getting ready to check out here.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:12:04] That's how it is. KJ is on the road. You guys, KJ is on the road,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:12:10] friends. This is what it's all about. So thank you so much for inviting me to join this incredible round table and conversation.</p>
<p> The loveliest people are on this call and I know we're going to have. , uh, fluctuating, fluctuating as well as flowing, flowing lineup as well. So I'm just so excited for what we're starting here. So thank you for having me. , well, let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Kimberly, but I invite you all to call me KJ.</p>
<p>I'm a licensed mental health psychiatry. Therapist and a musician and an artist. And my goal in the last year has been integrating and emerging. All of those facets together in the name of creativity and mental wellness, especially during this time, especially during what 2020 revealed to us and uncovered for us.</p>
<p>, [00:13:00] a lot of my focus is on the essential workers and the healers that are on the front lines today because my philosophy is , our healers need healing too. And that we are all healers for us to move together and ascend as a community, we need to be well and we need to feel safe. And so that's why this conversation is so relevant.</p>
<p>This connection, kindness, wellbeing. , that's my jam. So I'm so excited to be a part of this. I have a podcast as well. It's called stories of astonishing light. And that title emerged from the poet Hafez, the Persian poet. I know, I know, babe. And so the quote from Hafez is "I wish I could show you. When you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being."</p>
<p>And I [00:14:00] felt like that's kind of what I can help do. I can help folks. Who sometimes just need someone else's eyes, sometimes a gentle invitation to truly see what their gifts are, what their light is. And we all have gifts. We all have medicine. And my podcast is just about that. The stories of us uncovering are our medicine.</p>
<p>And so I have musicians and poets and artists and, and trailblazers. , on for conversations about  how we can heal the world, heal ourselves, heal, mental, mental, uh, wellness about through creativity and art and friendship and connection. </p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:14:38] Thank you. I love you so much, KJ. I'm so happy and so honored to have everyone at this table.</p>
<p>, we're going to go to, should we go to a Nii, Dr. Darko doctor  Nii,, please tell us a little bit about yourself.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:14:57] Hey guys, sorry about the background and [00:15:00] I'm on daddy daycare this weekend.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:15:03] So</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:15:05] my name is NII Darko. I'm from New Jersey. And, uh, currently I practice as a trauma surgeon and, um, I started a podcast about five years ago, called docs outside the box.</p>
<p>The tagline is doctors and extraordinary things outside of medicine. So. If you ever want it to know, , how like Sanjay Gupta becomes Sanjay,or how doctots do these really interesting things outside of what we normally look at them. Um, that's what the show is about. And, , we talk about the three M's money mindset and, , mission.</p>
<p>And I have this. He's tried to be the next co-host</p>
<p>a lot more spontaneous than me, but I have a microphone right here. This microphone right here, right here. [00:16:00] Um, so I know you guys want to. Okay. Give me one second. Okay. Hold on a second. Can you give me one? This is a live unrehearsed kind of show.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:16:11] What's the most beautiful thing we've ever seen? No, no, no, not yet.</p>
<p>Hold, hold your thought right now. We're just introducing everyone around the table. We'll come back. We'll come back. So, and we'll come back. Um, so we come to you. So are you, is there anything else you want us to know about you. No,</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:16:27] that's it.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:16:36] Let's go to Paul. Paul do tell.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:16:41] Um, hello. So my name's Paul, I live in Somerset in England, which thought, uh, Southwest of England. Um, I reckon probably the most beautiful part of England is kind of like the Shire in Lord of the rings, where all the Hills are rolling in line. You get a [00:17:00] bunch of hobbits live in and they're all farmers and they all talk like, right.</p>
<p>My darling, how's it going? My love. That's how they</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:17:06] will speak. That is so sexy. No disrespect, Matt.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:11] Yes, yes, yes. Yes.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:17:18] Um, so I, I am a meditation coach and teacher. , I teach mainly online at the moment. I had my own company called divine Lotus in Thailand for a couple of years. And now I work for a company called meet your mind online.com and we do workshops and webinars and one-on-one stuff. , Which is is beautiful.</p>
<p>I love doing that. , and also I'm a personal trainer, also loved doing that and a nutritionist and everything like that. , one thing that we'll be talking about, , on this podcast, I'm guessing is, is kind of like a retreat in the future. I don't want to get too far ahead of us. Um, but that's also what I [00:18:00] want to do when I'm older, older is create my own retreat, intertwining, all these beautiful things like fitness and health, , but also spirituality and nutrition and cooking classes and stuff like that.</p>
<p>, and I'm also a musician. So I'm halfway through doing my music album at the moment, and I'm called Lotus that's my stage name. And it's kind of like a flamenco indie, acoustic music I would call it. Um, yeah, I love, I love playing music. I really do. It's you know, it's, it's something I smile about more than anything else.</p>
<p>When I talk about it, I love it. It comes from my heart. truly. , not even from my heart, maybe more so from like, you know, the universe, , you know, if I let myself be really open and,  check on the vessels. I think like most of the, like the musicians that I find truly, , that inspire me also  do the same thing , [00:19:00] when they record and make up their songs, they let it just come and not think about it too much.</p>
<p>Anyway, I'm going on? Um, I love</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:19:07] it. Yeah. Yeah. We are huge fans of you. Thank you everybody. He's been on our show, the episode, I need a friend that was Paul singing, two songs to us. And will you sing to us, , during the round tables as we go along? Is that okay with you down the list? I love it. And we have the most beautiful.</p>
<p>One of the most, obviously you're all amazing, beautiful human beings. I want to introduce everyone to Katy, our friend, Katy. Oh,</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:19:42] hi. Um, I'm so glad I called you today. Um, my name is Katie and, , I'm from Boulder, Colorado. I work in a health food store and that's how I met. Beautiful Fawn and Matt and the girls, Elle and Allegra [00:20:00] and we just formed this wonderful friendship every Saturday, when you guys would come in, I'm like, there's my family.</p>
<p>And I would go and hug the girls. The girls were just, Oh, I miss you guys so much. And so I would get my hug from the girls and we would just talk the whole time and I would get in trouble because I would go, I would talk to you guys. My boss would be like, Oh, you're talking to her again. I got, while I'm helping her, um, I actually work in the vitamin department.</p>
<p>And so, , I help people when they come in,  asking questions about vitamins and diet and herbs and things. And so I would always pretend I'm helping her with this. And there are times too, when we were. Legitimately. Well, that's how we met.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:20:44] I was having extreme vertigo when we met and I couldn't figure out why.</p>
<p>And then other things happened and you were always there for us and literally Katy and I would be huddled at the end of an aisle in the market talking [00:21:00] about the universe and what we're picking up and what's happening. And then someone would interrupt us because they were like, excuse me,</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:21:07] oh, and so  ever since the, this, this awful thing has happened to us, We have not seen each other and we've kept in contact, but I miss you so much. And, um, you know, we were just every, you know, every say I don't work on Saturdays anymore, so, and I have kind of, , Retired a bit, which is great because I'm getting older and it's kind of hard to work in that job.</p>
<p>So I still work three days a week and enjoy, and that's my passion too, is being there to help people is what I really love is to help people when they come in, because they are scared and desperate. Some of course want the magic pill, but a lot are scared and desperate in need and need guidance. And that's what I love is to help people.</p>
<p>And tell them about the supplement [00:22:00] or whatever and what to expect. And this is a good one. That's a bad one. Don't do that. And then people come back and say, Oh, that helped. That was wonderful. And that's what I kind of get. And I go in every day and I go, okay, let me see if I can help somebody. And then when I do, it's just like, Getting high off of that because I've helped somebody.</p>
<p>And it's such a wonderful feeling, helping somebody with their, their fear and their concern about, Oh my God, I had this bad test and I have this and I should do this. And they come in with all these things that a lot of times the doctors come in or the doctors tell them that they have to go get all these vitamins.</p>
<p>And so we helped them with that. And a lot of times the doctors are not real complete about how much to take and this and that. So we kind of guide them and that's what I do. , and that's what I love. And, , it's very fulfilling.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:22:58] I what you offer [00:23:00] to me before we became friends. The first time I saw you, Katy, you offered me humanity.</p>
<p>And I'm so glad Nii is here because obviously he's a surgeon, Dr. Darko, Dr. Nii. , but I was always, so still am afraid of doctors and you offered, I mean, it was one of the hardest times in our lives for. For me and for Matt. And when we met you, Katy, your friendship literally saved our lives. Oh way. You connected with us.</p>
<p>And that's what everyone can do for one another is just that kindness that you offered, not just saying, Hey, you know, some B12 may do you good right now? You know what I mean? But what really did the best. The greatest. Good was your amazing, gentle, warm embrace. [00:24:00] And that changed our world. And our lives are much better now because we met you and our lives are better because we met Beth because we met Paul because we met KJ because we met Nii and granted.</p>
<p>We have never been in person. The only person here at this round table that we have met in person has been Katy, but every single person here has completely enriched our lives and brought us so much hope and joy. And that's what I want to get across here to everyone listening to whoever's listening that we're here for you and we will all share our particular expertise with you and we're here for you. , Matt, I just realized, I didn't introduce you. Do we need to introduce you and us? You just quickly do it.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:24:59] Yeah. This is Matt. [00:25:00] I'm a software developer. I've been doing that forever. And my wife likes to think I'm wonderfully intuitive, but I like to leave on just observant and that's about it.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:25:12] All right, folks. Okay. So I want to talk about. Something beautiful. Well, it will be. Okay. So back to the question, what we'll talk about, how kindness, , in each of our fields, how that, how that works.  Going back to what's the most beautiful thing you've ever experienced or,  something you've seen witnessed.</p>
<p>Like I said, I'm sure you guys will have the most beautiful scenes .For me, everything is a mystery and I'm just looking at it like a space alien. Like what I feel, I don't want to say horrified, but earth really. Uh, I was going to say troubles me earth really surprises me. And I'm in awe, but not in like, [00:26:00] "aaaaaaahhh", I'm in awe, likeWHAT?!?!.</p>
<p>So example, I was doing a photo shoot. I was in Ethiopia and my friend, Garamo was driving. We're I'm pretty much out in the wilderness, but the wilderness is just like this red earth, very little trees where we were just red earth. As far as you could see no roads, nothing. And all of a sudden I see something and I'm like, Geramo! What is that?</p>
<p>And I kept pointing to it and he's driving. Right. And he's looking at where my finger is pointing. So he keeps swerving to where I'm pointing. I'm like, no, right. Then what is that? What is that? And I'm pointing to the windshield, but he doesn't know that. So he's trying to drive. And so we kept going, zig-zagging all over the desert and I'm screaming at [00:27:00] this point because I'm like, what is it's moving?</p>
<p>What is that? And then he's driving. He's like, it's moving where? Cause he's. He's zigzagging all over the place now I'm like, Oh my God, what is that? And so I'm like, just, I don't know how, but somehow I either said stop the car when he stopped the car, because it was getting ridiculous. It was like a funny movie, like, but for real, so he stops the car and I'm now I'm touching the windshield.</p>
<p>I'm like right there, that right there. What is that? And he like. Oh, and I had never seen this thing in my life, a windshield. It was something on the windshield and it was a huge, and I thought it was a twig, but this thing was moving and it had eyes upon closer, uh, introspection. It was so anyway, he's like that is a walking stick.</p>
<p>I thought it was a piece of wood, but it was [00:28:00] moving, it had arms and legs and everything. So I saw a walking stick for the first time in my life. Does that translate in the UK? Do you guys know what a walking stick is? Uh,</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:28:10] yeah, I had one was a little, uh, pet when I was little and then it had babies. I babies and I still got the cage and I had hundreds all over my bedroom.</p>
<p>My mom came in, she was</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:28:22] gone. Oh my God. Oh, funny. So I don't know when, if I think of like, what's the most amazing thing you've experienced on planet earth. That I think is the epitome of my reaction to pretty much everything I see on the earth is like, what is that? Oh my God. And then someone will say, what, Oh, this, this is this.</p>
<p>I'm like, are you crazy? Like, this is insane. How is this possible? The world is surprising me all the time and shocking me. [00:29:00] So anyway, that's one of the things that I will say that was the most beautiful, but interesting  scene that I experienced. There have been many, I have many, many stories, but that's what comes to mind, , who wants to go next?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:29:18] Um, So the first thing that sprung into my mind when you asked this question and fall, and I've said this I've mentioned this story to you before briefly, I think was when I was a baby and I had like one of those picture books. Uh, but it had baby animals in it.</p>
<p>And I was in diapers and I was sat in the hallway, uh, at home. Uh, I think my mom was at home. It was me and my mom. And I opened the book to the center page and there was a beautiful Fawn and I don't believe in coincidences, but there was this beautiful fawn baby [00:30:00] fawn sat with other all babies out there sat on the grass, um, on this beautiful green, this beautiful green scenery.</p>
<p>And it was like how its knee kind of bends keels under itself. And the reason why I say that was the first. Was the most beautiful because it was also, I think the first time I experienced what beautiful was as well, because I felt like my soul had just been like, Oh, like, what is this? What is this thing?</p>
<p>What is this beautiful? I didn't know. It was a fawn, obviously. I couldn't probably speak, I don't know how old it was. Maybe nine, 10, 11 months perhaps. But that was the first time that Oh, The ACE spoke to me, the animal spoke to me in that instant, and I've never met anybody called Fawn until I've met you.</p>
<p>So I like to think there's some connection there, , so that was, uh, that was the first thing that I saw that was beautiful, which I think is beautiful in itself.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:30:56] That's my beautiful, I love that story [00:31:00] obviously. And I love you so much, Beth. I totally. I mean, we know like as soon as we met each other or like, yay.</p>
<p>And I like to say, when I meet someone like you, Beth, I'm like, where the hell have you been waiting for you? My entire life finally meet, I love thatokay. Who's Paul, do you want to go?</p>
<p> <strong>Paul: </strong>[00:31:27] , yeah. Okay. Um, so I'm going to sneak in two, yeah, two quick little ones. My first one. So the first one is like landscape and the second one is spirituality.</p>
<p>So first one would be when, when I was about 10 years old, I was in New Zealand with my family and we were driving through the jungle in the South Island. And, um, my dad stopped off and he was like, right, let's go for a walk. And there was a little sign in the middle of nowhere, a little sign saying waterfall, walk through the jungle [00:32:00] for 10 minutes.</p>
<p>So we walked through, we didn't see anyone on the walk on the way to the waterfall and it was just dense jungle. And then it came to this clearing and this clearing was on denied. It was, it was massive. It was, uh, it was about. 400 meters in diameter. It's just a perfect circle. And there were these smooth gray stones, thousands of them all in this clearing and then right in the center of the clearing, that was just a waterfall coming through.</p>
<p>And just, you know, in this dense jungle, just this, like part of it was kind of like a little bit of like a little bit of heaven had been blessed to the green earth. And it was just like pure gray and water. It was just magical. Um, so that is the, the place that I've always found most beautiful in my memory.</p>
<p>Um, and then the [00:33:00] second one, one example of when I got a lot that I'd like to share, but one example of my most favorite spiritual moment in my life, um, was when I was at a temple in Thailand. And this temple had a big boat on top of this Lake and you go onto the boat and then you pray at butter and stuff like that.</p>
<p>If you put this to whatever. So I was praying to my God, just, you know, my own higher power sort of thing, giving thanks and gratitude for my life and normally giving, giving service. And then after I prayed, I turned around and there was hundreds of these golden wishing leaves that all the Thai people write on the right little wish with.</p>
<p>And right in the center of all these leaves and they were all written in Thai, apart from one, one was written in English and it just said, Paul, right in the middle of the state. Oh my</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:33:54] God. Wow. That was cool. I love it. [00:34:00] Oh my God. Thank you, Paul. So KJ, how about you?</p>
<p> <strong>KJ: </strong>[00:34:09] Yeah, so many, so many images came up to mind when you posed the question at first. And so my struggle became as it usually is with me, because I'm a wordy girl to narrow</p>
<p>down and come up with maybe just one example or two lovely examples like Paul just shared, , I'll just generally reference the first time I went to a live concert.</p>
<p>, and I understood being a musician all my life I've crawled onto the piano before I was three, and I was always pecking away at the keys. So my mom was just like, we're going to put you in lessons. Let's get, let's develop this, which is amazing. But to hear it on a different level, live in a concert hall for the first time, um, Any live music?</p>
<p>Uh, I, it was, it's still indescribable [00:35:00] to me to this day, but the tears that come to my eyes and the, the feeling that settles in my body, in my blood, I swear to God it's in my blood when I hear live music. Um, my, my first concert conscientiously outside of maybe church hymns, um, was with Tori Amos. The vocalist and piano player.</p>
<p>And since I was a vocal, I'm a vocalist and a piano player, there was something extremely profound about hearing another piano player and vocalist just play, but the amplified in an arena. And I remember the first time she came up on stage, I was, I burst into tears. I had no idea. I had no idea. And I kept saying that, I didn't know.</p>
<p>I didn't know. It could sound like this. And. I still have this reaction to this day to any live music. So if you're at a concert and you see a chick, we [00:36:00] being uncontrolled, it might be me. It might be me. Um, and so I'll reference hearing music, yeah, for the first time in an amplified stage. And then another, another quick point of reference that I have was when I was in South Southeast Sulawesi, Indonesia, about two years ago, three years ago.</p>
<p>, And it was sunset. And this is, , this is one tiny, tiny, tiny Island in the midst of thousands and thousands of islands  that line and pepper Indonesia. And we were here on this Island with no internet connection. There's nothing that would really connect us to any other moment outside of what was happening in front of us.</p>
<p>And so we're just sitting in these rickety wooden chairs on a deck, overlooking the ocean at sunset. And I see the silhouette of a man walking what appears across the ocean, [00:37:00] just a silhouette  he has a fishing pole over his shoulder and a bucket. I'm assuming it's a bucket in his hand and he's walking across the ocean at sunset.</p>
<p>What we understood later is that there's tons of sandbars out there surrounding the islands. There was this man out there going about his day gathering, urchins or fish, whatever he needed to, to provide for his family, provide for whatever flourishing or thriving, hopefully business that he had. He was out collecting urchins for the day fish for the day, but, but from afar and, and only in silhouette.</p>
<p>I saw this being just walking gently and softly across, across the ocean. Wow. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:37:47] KJ.... Holy molly...amazing! Oh my God. That is so beautiful. That is forever ,now in my [00:38:00] imprinted, in my vision, in my, in my head, in my heart. That's beautiful KJ. And, you know, take a picture. I'll show you. Oh my gosh, I can't wait to see it.</p>
<p>Yes, please. Maybe we can post it in the show notes. Excellent. Awesome. Um, and as far as the crying thing, a long time ago, I went once again to a psychic and I, you know, like when they hit upon a truth or they hit upon, uh, an aspect of your soul, your spirit that only you were aware of, maybe. And you start crying.</p>
<p>I got to that point and the person said, you know, when you're being heard, when, when God is listening, when the universe is listening and you feel like you're definitely connected, you have that connection that you feel like you're being heard when the tears flow is, is your signal that that is happening, that [00:39:00] you're connected.</p>
<p>Katie Katie your turn.</p>
<p><strong>Katy: </strong>[00:39:04] So again, I have two, , one was when we went to Kawaii and I was blessed to be able to go on a helicopter ride in all over Kawaii, and I. Because I was little, I got to sit in the front seat and it was one of those helicopters where it had the dome where you could see everything.</p>
<p>And we flew all over, , Kawaii and the coast and in the, in the jungle, very close to the jungle and in the waterfalls and, and the same thing, I was crying because it was so beautiful. And I thought, boy, Somebody, if, if you didn't believe in God, now you would because of the absolute beauty. And then the second was again on another travel.</p>
<p>I went to Ireland  I went with my brother , and sister-in-law, and we did a driving trip [00:40:00] where we're actually Irish and we wanted to go see our roots. And we did, we went to the , the wonderful cemeteries and saw our name there. And we drove all around Ireland and we saw the sheep and the cows and the, the ocean.</p>
<p>We went to , a lighthouse and we saw the ocean and the water. And just, I mean, I can't tell you the beauty of, of that, that whole country. And I was just so excited and again, the immense beauty that is all over this world is just, just outstanding. So that's mine.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:40:37] It really is. I mean, it's good to have this conversation and to have this sharing experience because it's, it's, sometimes it's hard to remember how amazing the earth is and how amazing the life here is.</p>
<p>Thank you so much, Katy, for sharing that. , I see Nii's kitchen and I don't see Nii. [00:41:00] There he is. Okay. Nii. It's your turn.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:41:06] Sorry guys, just trying to keep the house from going on fire.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:15] Oh, we've got double trouble going on now.</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:41:29] Uh, toy microphone. And when it hits. Um, some something, it causes a little bit of some backfeed. So I would say for me, the most beautiful thing that I've seen, , was, , it was , me and my wife. We went on a honeymoon and we did it for a month and we went to New Zealand and the reason why it was very beautiful, is it.</p>
<p>Amount of sacrifice</p>
<p>[00:42:00] over 10 years where you spend so much your time dealing with very stressful life and death type of situation.</p>
<p> You're trying to pass tests. If you're going to survive. If you're going to get through school, that's stressful. Then obviously the stress of trying to just get through, you know, residency, and then you're taking care of people. It's very difficult. , so at this point, me and my wife had dated for 10 years.</p>
<p>I can't even believe it. You know, sometimes I'm a little embarrassed. Uh, to say it, but we had data for 10 years before we got married and we decided that, you know what, since we're getting married, let's do it up and let's go away for a little bitbefore we start working um, like that we went to go visit was New Zealand, mainly because it was just so different than the life that we're used to here in the unit.</p>
<p>Um, the background</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:42:57] you guys hear me? I can tell, we can [00:43:00] hear</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:43:00] all of you. You're all here. Uh, The scenery, the scenery that I saw, um, just, you know, the Maori that we saw, it was just really, really eye opening experience. It really changed my perspective on what's really important in life,</p>
<p>it's really about experiences as opposed to accomplishments. And I think I had spent my entire life trying to get this accomplishment, being a physician, trying to get this accomplishment of getting into med school and so forth, isolated scenery. Like this almost like it's civilized, but it's not.</p>
<p>Or I started to realize, wow, like, it's, it's really about this experience. I have mine, but I didn't take the time. I would've never had this experience to pride myself with this type of experience at that point. That's when</p>
<p>[00:44:00] I'm wonderful and right.</p>
<p>Can I finish?</p>
<p>So it was at that point that me and my wife got really motivated to pay off our debt. And we had a ton of student loan debt. We paid it off because there was a certain lifestyle that we wanted. And it had nothing to do with money. He just had to do it the way that you want it to live. Um, so when we look back, I always say for me to see the scenery of New Zealand was one of the best things I've ever seen in my life.</p>
<p>It helped them lock it off.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:44:41] It's interesting. How nature is always the most quiet? Well, actually, sometimes it's not quite as it, cause it can totally like come and tsunami you away. Right? But that's where you find truth. How about, thank you Nii thank you. Nii Jr.  okay. [00:45:00] How about you, Matt? What is the most beautiful thing?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:03] See, not fair, but the one thing that kind of Springs up for me is, has nothing to do with travel, nothing to do with vacation.</p>
<p>To me, it's the dichotomy. So living in LA, uh, I remember taking a bike ride from where we were living in Santa Monica to Dodger stadium, which is literally kind of a downtown ish LA thing, Sunday mornings super early, the streets were clear. It was so beautiful. Are you kidding? No, I'm very, very serious.</p>
<p>And it's because I had seen it so crowded and ugly. It was just, it was quiet there wasn't a lot of people I rode my bike what I want to do is ride my bike and actually touched Dodger stadium. But unfortunately there's like, There's a gate and there was a dude and I was like, ah, come on, man. I just want to touch it.</p>
<p>And then I'll go back home. And he'slike "NO!" So I had T I was turned away at the Gates, but still it's that moment freezing that kind of moment in time of taking that bike ride on a, on a [00:46:00] Sunday morning and just the, the raw difference between how that is then and like how it is on like a Monday, all day or a Tuesday all day.</p>
<p>Um, you know, most beautiful. Probably not, but this is what I'm at. This is where I'm at right now, right in this moment.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:46:16] So we have five minutes left before KJ needs to check out of her hotel room. And I wanted, I wanted to, I wanted to talk about how kindness affects us, but do you think we can go around in about 10 seconds?</p>
<p>Everybody say. Something about that. And then I'm going to wrap up the show. This, this is just the beginning as this is our first episode. We will get into full in-depth conversations that will go deep. , right now this is just our first kind of free flow experience, but KJ, any word on kindness you can share with us 10 seconds or 15 or 20.</p>
<p>[00:47:00] No pressure.</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:47:02] None at all. Okay. Uh, for me, kindness is compassion  and receptivity and that includes turning it inwards how are we showing receptivity and compassion to ourselves?</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:47:20] Beautiful. Nice. Wow. I'll how about you? Wow.</p>
<p><strong>Paul: </strong>[00:47:26] , okay. Kindness, kindness, kindness, um, brings people who together, you know, um, kind of kindnesses like evidence showing that we are when you experience it.</p>
<p>It's evidence. I find if I experience it, it's evidence to me that I'm meant to be a part of, um, Company and connection and other people, , the feeling I get from kindness and giving kindness, there's [00:48:00] nothing like it. , and it shows that I meant to walk this path with, , a family, you know,</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:48:07] that is perfect,</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:09] I wanted to say. Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Cause I, I get the feeling. Somebody will steal my thunder. So kind of</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:48:18] like that. Why did you look at me like that?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:21] Kindness, the first three letters of kindness.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:48:24] KIN you stole that from me. I said that on our other episode.</p>
<p>Oh</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:28] my God. Anyways, this is, this is me talking anyways. It's it's about recognizing the family and the connectedness we have with each other , and really wanting to enhance it and BE the help. That to me is kindness.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:48:45] I love you, babe.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:48:47] Even though I steal from (...Matt and Fawn quibble...)</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:48:52] Beth. How about you</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Beth: </strong>[00:48:55] For me kindness, is that it costs nothing like not [00:49:00] selflessness, like it was nothing. You're not looking to gain something by just being a friendly person, helping somebody else out in a time of need, or just because, you know, you're good pals and you're there to have a chat regardless of what's going on.</p>
<p>So for me, it's just, just being there and not expecting anything in return and just being, being of service.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:49:25] Thank you, Beth. Katy, how about you?</p>
<p> <strong>Katy: </strong>[00:49:29] Wow. You've, you've all said so many wonderful things. kindness is going throughout your day. , so hard to express, just, just trying to, to help, to help other people.</p>
<p>I know when, with my job, I just try to be patient with people because as I told my son growing up, Treat people how you would want them to treat you. And I think that's kindness. You gotta have to have a compassion for people because you don't know where they're coming from or what they're going [00:50:00] through.</p>
<p>, there's so many people going through hard times right now. And if you could just even just give a little smile, even though we have to wear masks and everything, , I wear a mask every day, eight hours, and I know you do doctor too. That's hard. Um, but you can see the smiles in the eyes, you know, people, your eyes express the smile.</p>
<p>And that's what I like to do is just smile. And I feel that's kindness giving to people, even just walking by somebody in the store real quick. I don't know who they are. If I can just give a little quick smile that might help somebody throughout their day. And that's kind of what kind of says little things like that throughout the day.</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:50:40] The little thing is the most life-saving thing. Just a glance or a slight touch on a shoulder or just being, just being present and still, Oh my God. Is he still here?</p>
<p><strong>KJ: </strong>[00:50:57] Uh, he's still here, but,</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:50:59] um,</p>
<p>[00:51:00] For me, I mean, Nii  for real saves people's lives. Yeah. I don't know. Nii tell us,</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:51:15] so I, I heard everybody's definition and I agree everybody definition. Um, I'm not going to add any more definition. We need a lot more of all of that world, right?</p>
<p>That's what I'll do. Is there an elephant</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:51:33] Nii Jr. Nii Jr says it perfectly because elephants are the kindest.</p>
<p>Oh, favorite animal</p>
<p><strong>Nii: </strong>[00:51:46] actually. Oh my God. I love about Dumbo</p>
<p><strong>music Fawn, and Matt: </strong>[00:51:51] Dumbo.</p>
<p>Oh my God. I love him so [00:52:00] much. Oh, well, okay. And KJ, don't leave yet. I'm going to wrap this up for us today with two words alone. And actually three words, all one. , we made a new friend last week and we interviewed him. He was on our show. It'll come out just a little bit. His name is Barry. He's a singer.</p>
<p>He's a, he's a writer. He's an amazing artist,  he travels around and he teaches children kindness around the country. And he's really a very special human being like completely angelic. And he usually wears this shirt that says "ALL ONE". And it was yet another sign for me that we were meant to be friends because that's all over everything that I do.</p>
<p>I've always said we are all one, all one, the photo book that, I tried to publish, you know, everything is just, we are all one family and that's the whole point of this podcast is our friendly [00:53:00] world as we are all one family. And so Barry wears this shirt that says "ALL ONE". He did a Ted talk and he talked about how his shirt was commented on by this woman that said your shirt is depressing.</p>
<p>He's like why? And because the woman said, because it says alone, he's like he stood up straighter. And so you can see all the words. And it was actually saying all one. And then when we were doing our podcast with him, he was wearing that shirt also. And the way he was sitting. The crease, the shirt was creased in such a way that I saw the words alone.</p>
<p>And we were talking about the big lie in the world, the big lie in life. And we were talking about lying and I was watching his shirt move. And all of a sudden I realized, Oh my God, that's the message right there. It may appear that we're alone, but. [00:54:00] Really we are all one, one sneaky letter can disappear or come back to tell you what the reality is.</p>
<p>And that's how I want to close the show off today is that we are all one. And don't you think for a second, that you're ever alone because we are not. Thank you, everyone for showing up and being present. Thank you. I love you all so much and we'll speak in a few days. Okay. Absolutely take care of before, before I forget, everyone's information will be in our show notes and on the website, our friendly world.com.</p>
<p>And if you need to get ahold of anyone here you can do. So there we love you. Take care, talk to you in a few days. Be well, bye you too. Bye</p>
<p><strong>all: </strong>[00:54:58] bye. Bye. Bye [00:55:00] bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Sometimes the world can seem unbearable. Today, beyond introducing you to new friends, I want to focus on one thing we have witnessed on earth, to hopefully give light and encouragement for all of us to look towards the beauty and magic out there.
This is our first roundtable with great friends to introduce you to from around the world.
 
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] music Fawn, and Matt: [00:00:00] Hello friends. Welcome to our friendly world. This is, this is Fawn and Matt, we are starting something new today. It's a series that we're calling connected. It's all about how we are all interconnected. We have a round table here. We're going to do this every week. We're going to have amazing friends. And we're all from different walks of life.
We're all quite different. We all have different jobs on this planet. And the whole point is to make our circle grow, to make our friendship circle grow. Most of us here have never, ever met one another in person and we all have different takes on life.  Today we're starting this whole thing. This is our very, very first episode.
And when you scroll through every episode will be called "CONNECTED", followed by [00:01:00] or word, and today's word is kindness.    To start off, I want to talk about our connections to one another. What we're starting here with this round table is much bigger than this little episode. What we're doing is we're going to start conversations, having to do with everything in life, from money to you, name it.
And everyone here at this round table has their particular expertise. And if you're out there listening and you want to join us, please  send me an email. And we'll, we'll gladly, gladly accept you into the round table. We're sitting here right now at our kitchen table, and we're surrounded by some amazing friends.
 We have Beth Hewitt, Dr. Nii Darko. We have KJ Nasrul. [00:02:00] We have our beautiful friend, Katie, our beautiful friend, Paul, and some of them you've heard on our episodes before there are other people coming next week. Kindness. What is that? That's our theme today and I'm here to bring all the aspects of life together.
We're all touched by money. We're all touched by health, where we all have our rituals. We have life and we share a life together. The truth is that we are all connected. And that is this whole topic. This whole topic of connection is that it's to have a get together. Are interconnected family.
We're going to converse about it as friends. We all have different perspectives. I'm sure if we really got into this deep, I'm sure whoever's at the table. We all have different political beliefs. We have different ideas. We've all seen different things [00:03:00] walking on the earth. And the point is to practice conversation.
Sometimes it may become uncomfortable, but we're in the comfort of our home. All of us right now. And you're home. You are ourhome, you are my home. We are friends. And no matter what you say, it will be treated with respect. You will be treated with respect and you will be heard. And I think that's the key these days.
It's the key always is to hear each other, to see each other and to be heard. And that's what this is all about.  Thank you. Thank you friends for being with us today. , I have, we've all walked, walked the earth for awhile. I'm going to start with a little question and then. I'm going to let that question sit for awhile and then I'm going to have everyone introduce [00:04:00] themselves.
The question today is, so we've all been on the earth for awhile. We've all walked the earth and we've all seen somethings. And I really like, I know most of you here. I know all of you here, but what I admire about everybody here is you all are so positive. And the way you describe things is quite beautiful.
I'm a photographer. I have been shooting for a very, very long time an...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Roundtable.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:56:12</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Breaking the Sound Barrier with Michael Joly]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Apr 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/breaking-the-sound-barrier-with-michael-joly</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/breaking-the-sound-barrier-with-michael-joly</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Breaking the Sound Barrier with Michael Joly</p>
<p>On this episode we explore sound and how it changes and connects us; how to hear, listen and distinguish the truth in our hearts and souls. We also have a three minute Tone Therapy session with the use of Michael’s invention: the N.O.W. sound device which when you listen for 3 minutes and 20 seconds has the similar outcome of a long meditation.</p>
<p>Wise words from this podcast:</p>
<p>Michael Joly:</p>
<p>“All forms arise from no form.”</p>
<p>“Having a fog experience like that, can kind of bring us back to this primordial pre-formed time. And I think that's part of what we're recognizing in a fog experience; is it's not quite in form yet.”</p>
<p>“…the Holy Spirit doesn't speak first nor the loudest. “</p>
<p>“…sitting in stillness and allowing stillness and allowing spaciousness allows thus, still small, very quiet, inspired thoughts to arise.”</p>
<p>“I realized that when I followed sound so intensely like that in the context of my job as an audio engineer, in the context of, of, you know, designing products and, uh, and listening to them, , that I found, I found I could not be thinking at the same time as I, as listening, if I was truly bringing and intentional attention to listening, right. I could not be thinking at the same time. And then only years later, did I say, Whoa, wait a minute. That sort of matches up with some of the check boxes of what meditation is and intentional unintentional, unintentional nonjudgmental focus on the present moment.”</p>
<p>“Let’s bundle up all the lies and turn our backs to them. Turn our backs to that profanity and inhabit truth and see how that feels.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“…this is another type of mindfulness practice that you have to have an intention. You have to willfully use your attention…combining the word attention with an, a, an intention. You have to have an intention to listen attentively and to direct your attention.”</p>
<p>“A shift in focus as an aid; these are aids; to give the mind another form object to alight upon, and doing that intentionally.”</p>
<p>Fawn:</p>
<p>“Where the magic happens is in the space of the unknown… everything manifests within that space of nothingness where it's not formed yet.”</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Breaking the Sound Barrier Episode 37 with Michael Joly</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Track 1: </strong>[00:00:00] We're an interracial couple with two kids wanting to do something that highlights the power of friendship and what it means to be in the company of true friends. We're going to move our society away and out of the loneliness epidemic and into a friendlier, happier world. Welcome to our friendly world.</p>
<p>Better, stronger, together.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:00:42] Good morning. Good afternoon. Hello. Hello. You know the sound of the ocean, the sound of ocean waves. I'm getting right into at first negative wisdom from Santa Monica. This time. [00:01:00] It's the sounds that I heard from Santa Monica. That was my lesson. I, as a small child, as you guys know, I talk about. My mentor, Santa Monica all the time.</p>
<p>But as a child, now that I'm looking back on, it makes sense. One of the reasons I felt so calm and taken care of, I think it was the sound of the ocean waves. What is it about that? It's, it's like, it's like the sound of. Shh. Like, I don't know how that came across the microphone, but you know, when we had our babies and the doctors would say, uh, that's sound calms them, um, on an extreme level, they would say even the sound of a vacuum cleaner calms them.</p>
<p>And I'm like, why? That is ridiculous. And they would say it, it could be the sound [00:02:00] of. Just being in utero. Right. All the, all the pipes going, I guess. I don't know how you describe it, but you know, the sounds of water you're in water. Right. And so the sounds of the waves, I guess it's kind of like, it reminds you of a brea...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Breaking the Sound Barrier with Michael Joly
On this episode we explore sound and how it changes and connects us; how to hear, listen and distinguish the truth in our hearts and souls. We also have a three minute Tone Therapy session with the use of Michael’s invention: the N.O.W. sound device which when you listen for 3 minutes and 20 seconds has the similar outcome of a long meditation.
Wise words from this podcast:
Michael Joly:
“All forms arise from no form.”
“Having a fog experience like that, can kind of bring us back to this primordial pre-formed time. And I think that's part of what we're recognizing in a fog experience; is it's not quite in form yet.”
“…the Holy Spirit doesn't speak first nor the loudest. “
“…sitting in stillness and allowing stillness and allowing spaciousness allows thus, still small, very quiet, inspired thoughts to arise.”
“I realized that when I followed sound so intensely like that in the context of my job as an audio engineer, in the context of, of, you know, designing products and, uh, and listening to them, , that I found, I found I could not be thinking at the same time as I, as listening, if I was truly bringing and intentional attention to listening, right. I could not be thinking at the same time. And then only years later, did I say, Whoa, wait a minute. That sort of matches up with some of the check boxes of what meditation is and intentional unintentional, unintentional nonjudgmental focus on the present moment.”
“Let’s bundle up all the lies and turn our backs to them. Turn our backs to that profanity and inhabit truth and see how that feels.”
 
“…this is another type of mindfulness practice that you have to have an intention. You have to willfully use your attention…combining the word attention with an, a, an intention. You have to have an intention to listen attentively and to direct your attention.”
“A shift in focus as an aid; these are aids; to give the mind another form object to alight upon, and doing that intentionally.”
Fawn:
“Where the magic happens is in the space of the unknown… everything manifests within that space of nothingness where it's not formed yet.”
 
Transcript:
Breaking the Sound Barrier Episode 37 with Michael Joly
[00:00:00] Track 1: [00:00:00] We're an interracial couple with two kids wanting to do something that highlights the power of friendship and what it means to be in the company of true friends. We're going to move our society away and out of the loneliness epidemic and into a friendlier, happier world. Welcome to our friendly world.
Better, stronger, together.
fawn: [00:00:42] Good morning. Good afternoon. Hello. Hello. You know the sound of the ocean, the sound of ocean waves. I'm getting right into at first negative wisdom from Santa Monica. This time. [00:01:00] It's the sounds that I heard from Santa Monica. That was my lesson. I, as a small child, as you guys know, I talk about. My mentor, Santa Monica all the time.
But as a child, now that I'm looking back on, it makes sense. One of the reasons I felt so calm and taken care of, I think it was the sound of the ocean waves. What is it about that? It's, it's like, it's like the sound of. Shh. Like, I don't know how that came across the microphone, but you know, when we had our babies and the doctors would say, uh, that's sound calms them, um, on an extreme level, they would say even the sound of a vacuum cleaner calms them.
And I'm like, why? That is ridiculous. And they would say it, it could be the sound [00:02:00] of. Just being in utero. Right. All the, all the pipes going, I guess. I don't know how you describe it, but you know, the sounds of water you're in water. Right. And so the sounds of the waves, I guess it's kind of like, it reminds you of a brea...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Breaking the Sound Barrier with Michael Joly]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>37</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Breaking the Sound Barrier with Michael Joly</p>
<p>On this episode we explore sound and how it changes and connects us; how to hear, listen and distinguish the truth in our hearts and souls. We also have a three minute Tone Therapy session with the use of Michael’s invention: the N.O.W. sound device which when you listen for 3 minutes and 20 seconds has the similar outcome of a long meditation.</p>
<p>Wise words from this podcast:</p>
<p>Michael Joly:</p>
<p>“All forms arise from no form.”</p>
<p>“Having a fog experience like that, can kind of bring us back to this primordial pre-formed time. And I think that's part of what we're recognizing in a fog experience; is it's not quite in form yet.”</p>
<p>“…the Holy Spirit doesn't speak first nor the loudest. “</p>
<p>“…sitting in stillness and allowing stillness and allowing spaciousness allows thus, still small, very quiet, inspired thoughts to arise.”</p>
<p>“I realized that when I followed sound so intensely like that in the context of my job as an audio engineer, in the context of, of, you know, designing products and, uh, and listening to them, , that I found, I found I could not be thinking at the same time as I, as listening, if I was truly bringing and intentional attention to listening, right. I could not be thinking at the same time. And then only years later, did I say, Whoa, wait a minute. That sort of matches up with some of the check boxes of what meditation is and intentional unintentional, unintentional nonjudgmental focus on the present moment.”</p>
<p>“Let’s bundle up all the lies and turn our backs to them. Turn our backs to that profanity and inhabit truth and see how that feels.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“…this is another type of mindfulness practice that you have to have an intention. You have to willfully use your attention…combining the word attention with an, a, an intention. You have to have an intention to listen attentively and to direct your attention.”</p>
<p>“A shift in focus as an aid; these are aids; to give the mind another form object to alight upon, and doing that intentionally.”</p>
<p>Fawn:</p>
<p>“Where the magic happens is in the space of the unknown… everything manifests within that space of nothingness where it's not formed yet.”</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Breaking the Sound Barrier Episode 37 with Michael Joly</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Track 1: </strong>[00:00:00] We're an interracial couple with two kids wanting to do something that highlights the power of friendship and what it means to be in the company of true friends. We're going to move our society away and out of the loneliness epidemic and into a friendlier, happier world. Welcome to our friendly world.</p>
<p>Better, stronger, together.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:00:42] Good morning. Good afternoon. Hello. Hello. You know the sound of the ocean, the sound of ocean waves. I'm getting right into at first negative wisdom from Santa Monica. This time. [00:01:00] It's the sounds that I heard from Santa Monica. That was my lesson. I, as a small child, as you guys know, I talk about. My mentor, Santa Monica all the time.</p>
<p>But as a child, now that I'm looking back on, it makes sense. One of the reasons I felt so calm and taken care of, I think it was the sound of the ocean waves. What is it about that? It's, it's like, it's like the sound of. Shh. Like, I don't know how that came across the microphone, but you know, when we had our babies and the doctors would say, uh, that's sound calms them, um, on an extreme level, they would say even the sound of a vacuum cleaner calms them.</p>
<p>And I'm like, why? That is ridiculous. And they would say it, it could be the sound [00:02:00] of. Just being in utero. Right. All the, all the pipes going, I guess. I don't know how you describe it, but you know, the sounds of water you're in water. Right. And so the sounds of the waves, I guess it's kind of like, it reminds you of a breath coming in and going out deep breath in.</p>
<p>Deep breath out, Matt, why are you looking at me like that? Stop it. Do you not understand what I'm saying? No, I do. I do ocean. It, it is life. It teaches you so much. Just sitting there, the waves come in the waves, go out and it's so powerful. Even if you're just there with your. Toes in the water, like barely the water reaches your, your ankles, but you feel like your entire body will get sucked into the deep, deep ocean.</p>
<p>When the, when the tide goes out, when [00:03:00] the water goes back out, it's a huge port. Very powerful, much like the sound. It just made me, it was like a mother, a kind loving mother or a parent shushing me. And saying it's okay. Shushing in a good way. Don't laugh. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go ahead. And so today I want to talk about, I call it breaking the sound barrier, and I want to talk about communication and I wanted to talk about tone and sound.</p>
<p>I'm now addicted to looking things up. Let me see tone. Let's look it up. Noun, a musical or vocal sound with reference to its pitch quality and strength to the general character or attitude of a place. Piece of writing situation, et cetera, much like you, Matt, you will say something to me. And I will say, [00:04:00] I don't appreciate your tone and you don't, you don't understand.</p>
<p>And you, we get into a fight over tone because you didn't feel like you express yourself a certain way. But to me it was a horrible. Tone, but you don't, you don't hear it, but I heard it, you know?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:04:17] Right. Because I understand the intent behind it, but you hear only what is said.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:04:23] I hear a nasty tone, not what you said, but like a mean tone sometimes.</p>
<p>Right? And it makes a difference, like, even with email, right? You always say you can never hear tone in an email. Right. You don't know, it may sound nasty. But the person may have not had that intention. Right. The other way around right. Tone is a big deal. Okay. So the definition continues. A tone is the kind of sound you hear in a musical note or in a person's voice live or in writing.</p>
<p>Look at that. So [00:05:00] example, when Al was born, I did not read to her goodnight moon. I read to her the journals from Bruce Lee. The different ways to strike a person, right? And then there's this other book that we have on all his athletic feats and his day to day his journal on how to work out. And that's what I would read to.</p>
<p>And she would go to sleep like that because the tone, it was about the tone. And I remember a long time ago when I was a kid, I loved black and white movies and there was this really old movie back in the day when people were hats and gloves. And there was a guy who was reading the newspaper to this newborn and he was reading the races, like, you know, how they would bet on horse races and that's what he read.</p>
<p>And I think that's when tone really came into my existence. Like, wow, look at that. You can read something like that and make it sound like a lullaby. It's all about tone and intention, [00:06:00] right? Matt?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:02] Yes. Abs no, no, no, no. Yes, absolutely. I totally get that. As a matter of fact. Yeah, just this past week, I rediscovered a musical artist who redoes actually songs and I listened to some of them and one of their remakes, it completely using the exact same words, completely changes.</p>
<p>The tone of the song changes the, the meaning of the song, even just by changing how it's performed.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:06:29] Exactly. And bear with me because this will really come down to. Our friend, by the way, welcome to our friendly world. Um, by the way, I forgot to introduce us, but you know, that is key. That is one of the keys with friendship with creating a friendlier world is to really.</p>
<p>Hear each other properly and to understand the undercurrents or the forces that you don't see, even with sound with the forces that you don't hear, but you feel I'm [00:07:00] almost done with the definitions. Here we go. Um, so where does tone come from? So, um, Really into the ETA model. Thank you, Anna model.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:11] That's a mythology.</p>
<p>Continue to the next</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:07:13] word derive the right now I can't talk at all. Derived from tennis. I hope I'm pronouncing that right. Okay. Some Greek is about to come in. Do you know that, uh, it's uh, it's derived from tennis and the tension of the string of an arrow bow and the noise that was produced when the arrow was shot that.</p>
<p>So that's what tone that's where tone comes</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:07:40] from. Did you know that I can, I can totally feel that.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:07:43] And then I looked up like, what is sound? It's a sensation produced through the ears late 13th century from old French. S O N soul sound musical notes, voice from [00:08:00] Latin. So news sound annoys. The atomology of sound is derived from the Anglo-Saxon or old Norse word Sund.</p>
<p>Again, I apologize for my pronunciation, which also means swimming. Did you know that the word sun S U N D is documented and old Norse and old English as meaning gap or narrow access and geography of sound as a large sea or ocean and let deeper than a bright and wider than a Fjord or a narrow sea or ocean channel between two bodies of land.</p>
<p>That's interesting because sound is like the vibration and the land is in fact, us, do you know where I'm getting at? Like we are the land, the [00:09:00] water, the sound it's I, I take it as a direct correlation to our connections as human beings. The sound, the water, the actual sound, the land. You know, the, the interplay, why are you looking at me?</p>
<p><strong>Track 2: </strong>[00:09:14] Like</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:14] I gotta stop looking at you. Why Omar? Well, no, I'm thinking I'm just, I'm drawing my own, like connections and inferences, but yeah, go ahead. Okay.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:09:22] Your eyes are scanning. Awful. Look. All right. So here's where our super friend comes in. Michael Dolly is here, everyone. Please meet Michael, Michael, please talk to us because you are the expert.</p>
<p>You, you bring in the metaphysics, you bring in sound listening consciousness. You're an inventor. I would say a scientist. You've you've invented this amazing now. These discs that for three minutes, give you [00:10:00] a heightened state of meditation. I feel, um, I just got these in the mail recently. We, we are so excited.</p>
<p>It's making our house completely buzz and vibrate in such a beautiful way. And it takes me right back. To the ocean, which, you know, Matt, I miss so much because somehow we're living in the middle of the continent and I feel like ship, not a ship. I feel like a fish out of water. Like I am, I can't breathe.</p>
<p>I need, I need a water anyway, Michael, I'm sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:10:33] Michael. Welcome. Hello. Welcome</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:10:35] to our friendly world's Michael.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:10:38] Good morning. Good morning. It's a very friendly reminiscence of Santa Monica. And the ocean also, thank you for setting up my entry with some sound memories.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:10:50] Thank you so much for being here.</p>
<p>We've been wanting to talk to you and we, we friends, we scheduled a little meeting beforehand and Matt [00:11:00] refuse to talk to Michael because I know so through. Okay. So. Michael. I met my goal last week at a convention or this week, I don't remember. And through Michael, we met Barry who we interviewed a few days ago.</p>
<p>We had such a great time. I was talking to Barry and Barry was saying w such amazing things about Michael, which I already sensed anyway, because as soon as I heard Michael speak at this convention, I was blown away one by his beautiful voice. But by the way, this man speaks, he is an exceptional human being, I think.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:11:40] That's a pretty, you know, you're making a pretty high bar</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:11:43] there. I'm sorry. But I think you guys are actually</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:11:46] like aspire to all of that. Let me, let me put it that way.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:11:50] I think you guys are best friends. And so Matt didn't want to talk to Michael because he wanted to keep it fresh for this, for this, for this episode.</p>
<p>[00:12:00] But I'm going to let you guys talk. Now</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:04] what she's referring to is just, I started like riffing and that's what happens when I connect with some people is all of a sudden it kind of generates. Different and new and glorious thoughts and, and attempting to re kind of invent that, or have a, have that conversation over again can be problematic.</p>
<p>So, yes, let's start from the</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:12:24] top. You want to have a conversation in the now?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:12:27] Exactly. All. That's cute in the now you</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:12:33] guys, these, the no, these discs are called the now. These what we'll get into at you, and we're going to have them in the show notes. When you guys go to the show notes, you can totally hear the experience.</p>
<p>Three minutes of tone meditation. Michael will describe a better, of course. Uh, Michael, can we start from the beginning? Can you tell us all about yourself? How did this start? How did you get into sound? Who are you? Tell [00:13:00] us everything. Welcome. Welcome.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:13:03] Well, thank you. Uh, thank you for the invitation Fawn and Matt.</p>
<p>It's lovely to be here. I'm speaking to you from Tampa. It's East coast time here at this moment. I love these images of the description of tone and also sound and waves and water. Let's see. Yeah, I came here from, uh, from the Island of Martha's vineyard off the coast of Cape Cod separated. The two are separated by Nantucket sound Heyo.</p>
<p>Uh, I would take a ferry boat back and forth a few times a week to go from the Island to the mainland Cape and, uh, ferry boats. These very bows had a twin engines and the two engines would come in and out of sync, uh, with their, their sort of th the throbbing of the. Diesel moaners. So you'd get these pulsing and, you know, you get this horrible blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.</p>
<p>[00:14:00] And, uh, so those low frequency pulsations can really move you into a meditative state because that kind of amplitude pulsation in that frequency range helps. Set up what we would call an entrainment, a brainwave entrainment situation, where the brain recognizes those low frequency sounds as being something that's pleasant.</p>
<p>The kind of, it's the kind of, um, it's the kind of brain waves that are generated when you are in an open monitoring meditation, uh, or you're, um, sort of gazing out onto the mid distance across the ocean. You'll find that you have more brainwaves in the lower frequency range, alpha brainwaves, Delta brainwaves, as opposed to the kind of faster beta brainwaves that when you're having a conversation, you're solving a puzzle, you're doing something like that.</p>
<p>So these, uh, so traveling back and forth on the ferry, I was exposed to these [00:15:00] very powerful, low frequency brainwave, entrainment frequencies. And then you could very quickly fall into a relaxed, open monitoring meditation. And that was through through sound and the brainwave entrainment, but that's, that's recent history.</p>
<p>That's not my earliest memories of being in the fog when I was five years old.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:15:21] Yeah. You mentioned that before. What do you mean when you said that it took me to Santa Monica because we had, what was it called? Matt when w the. The, the Marine layer.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:35] So it was always overcast until you got about a mile inland, which is not where we ever</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:15:40] went.</p>
<p>So yeah, we always had was, so there was a big street that would go all through LA called Lincoln and in our neighborhood, we would even have t-shirts that said always West of Lincoln, AWOL, always West of Lincoln, because on our side, towards the ocean, Like literally across the [00:16:00] street from Lincoln, we had Marine layer and the vibe was different.</p>
<p>The sounds were different. The temperature was a good 15 degrees different. And then you literally cross the street, this big street Lincoln. And it was, it was this, the vibration was hectic. It was loud. And the sun was blaring on you.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:16:22] Right. I've never been to Santa Monica, but I've, I lived in San Francisco and, um, you know, the fog there is very predictable.</p>
<p>It comes in every day. Well, in the hate, it comes in every day at four 30 in the summer. And, um, neighborhood to neighborhood you'll have, uh, a fog neighborhood or not a fog neighborhood. And each of those neighborhoods has a different, um, tambour and feel, um, Yeah, so fog is Fogg's wonderful. Fogg's, uh, you know, it's, it's a flood, right?</p>
<p>And it is fluid. Um, it's, uh, nearly formless. And so when we have fog experiences, we're [00:17:00] experiencing something that is closer to the unformed. You know, the mystery before things take shape inform, uh, which is, you know, so all forms of rise from no form. And so having fog experiences, you can do this with a steaming cup of tea also, but having a fog, it's really nice because it's a very immersive, right.</p>
<p>Uh, so having a fog experience like that can kind of bring us back to this primordial pre preformed time. And I think that's part of what we're recognizing in fog experience is it's not quite informed yet.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:44] Yeah. And certainly when I'm in a fog, when I'm quote unquote, like driving through a fog, you're, you're much more introspective and you're much more cautious and you're much more definitely I'm in my head when I'm quote unquote in a physical fog,</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:17:58] for sure.</p>
<p>But [00:18:00] also that's where the magic happens is in the space of the unknown. When there's no thing, no sound, no one. That's I think when you, I mean, scientists are now totally recording all this, that everything manifests within that space of nothingness where it's not formed yet.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:18:22] Yeah. There's a great allowing.</p>
<p>For inspired thought to come in. If the egoic mind is running all the time, I know mine wants to run the show and she does a pretty good job. No, it does a good job of taking over from my essential self. It doesn't do a good job of running the show at all and messes things up. Um, but if we, uh, if we, you know, that, um, that allowing in the silence that, that you said, stillness, silence, we want it.</p>
<p>Nothingness then allow for inspired thought, you know, um, I'm a, a reader of a, and have been for a long time of, [00:19:00] uh, of course in miracles and, um,</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:19:04] Marianne Williamson love her.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:19:06] Yeah, I I've never read her, um, her interpretation of it. I know that she really popularized it in the eighties, but I've never read her work, um, inspired by it, but inspired thought.</p>
<p>And the course of course in miracles says that the Holy spirit doesn't speak for nor the loudest I'm paraphrasing here. Okay. Uh, I think what the course means by that is sitting in stillness and allowing stillness and allowing spaciousness allows. Thus still small, very quiet, inspired thoughts to arise.</p>
<p>The quick response, the quick to jump in finishing someone's sentence, as they're speaking, this is, uh, an almost, um, you know, I interpret that as almost like an egoic need to be heard and to be right or to create drama. [00:20:00] That's interesting. But, but stillness, you know, there was, uh, the, uh, falling, you talked about the, the, uh, podcast conference that we were at, that, that we met at, and there was a wonderful presenter.</p>
<p>Um, Raquel Ark, a R K I think her name is, she was talking about how, if you're interviewing someone, it takes almost eight seconds for the subject to be able to sit with the question and have. An honest, informed, spontaneous, truly spontaneous answer to arise. That's not part of a rehearse pattern. So she was really advocating for the allowing of spaciousness.</p>
<p>And that's a it's, you know, it's difficult to do because we're not. We don't practice that very much</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:20:46] uncomfortable as I'm interrupting you. It's very uncomfortable because I think we all know that in that space, what can come up, all the things that need to come up [00:21:00] will come up and maybe we want to suppress that.</p>
<p>Maybe</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:21:03] not go. Yeah, that's a, that's a great insight. Like, keep it, keep it busy so that we don't have</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:21:10] to deal with it.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:21:11] All right. No, the, uh, the stillness, spaciousness and silence, uh, can be really uncomfortable. And that's, you know, that's one of the reasons why we made, um, while we made now tone therapy is, uh, in three minutes it gives a complete life cycle.</p>
<p>You know, it allows people to experience a complete life cycle of, of, um, emptiness and stillness. Then I sort of. Inspired intention to act then from stillness emerges. Sounds. Those sounds very. And change over time as all forms do. And then those sounds fade away as all forms do and return to stillness again.</p>
<p>So [00:22:00] we, we made something that in three minutes, you know, the most, this is a hardware device. So it's a hardware meditation device, two little speakers you're holding your hands. Um, but it's really an experience. And then it's an experience of, of, uh, a life cycle. Over and over again. And, and we made it only three minutes long.</p>
<p>And then the question, the most popular question we always get is I love this. I want it to last longer. This is like the conundrum of life. Isn't it. When your life is going good, do you want the life to live? I want more of that good life. And then when it's not going so well, I would prefer not to have this particular life right now.</p>
<p>So we, we made now in three minutes to give you a complete life cycle of a stillness emerging form, and then form that fades and returns to stillness. And if you, and if we made it continuous, Without the ending gap, without that ending, uh, into return to stillness, we, we would not have made [00:23:00] something that is true.</p>
<p>And one of the overall over writing experiences with tone therapy is that there is a kind of truth that comes through. There are multiple truths, but there's, um, this emerging from nothing returning to nothing is true. That's a kind of truth and it's experienced as truth.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:23:21] Now were you also inspired? I know that, uh, there are certain practices of meditation that, you know, they bang a gong and you're supposed to focus on the sound and then the sound obviously fades away.</p>
<p>And that that's like your entry point to a meditation.</p>
<p>You can say no</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:23:43] short answer. No, uh, long, long, longer answer. Um, I was trained in practice as an audio product design engineer for many years. And so after you breadboard a circuit and you build it out and then you, um, then you run some [00:24:00] signals through it, and then you listen to the result of that circuit. The kind of work that I was doing was for motion picture sound, and this is back in the analog days.</p>
<p>And, um, yeah. Uh, analog noise reduction circuits, uh, to keep the sound of the clicks and pops and his and haze of emotion, picture optical soundtrack from getting in the way of the speech and the music. So I was working on noise reduction systems, uh, and, and one aspect of my job was to listen to the effect of the circuits I had built.</p>
<p>And that meant listening and following sounds all the way down into the background haze of the optical soundtrack or magnetic tape recording medium in those days. And I realized that when I followed sound so intensely like that in the context of my job as an audio engineer, in the context of, of, you know, designing products and, uh, and listening to them that I found, [00:25:00] I found I could not be thinking.</p>
<p>At the same time as I, as listening, if I was truly bringing an intentional attention to listening, right. It could not be thinking at the same time. And then only years later, did I say, Whoa, wait a minute. That sort of matches up with some of the check boxes of what meditation is, you know, an intentional and intentional unintentional nonjudgmental focus on the present moment.</p>
<p>But in my case, In my case in the, in the oral dimension.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:25:36] I wonder if that's one of the reasons music is so healing. I think most songs are three minutes or I actually, I looked it up it's three minutes and 20 seconds or most songs and lately, um, I read that it's now 20 seconds shorter these days. And I wonder if that's because people.</p>
<p>Just [00:26:00] don't have the attention</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:26:01] span or, and when I was, when I was a pup in the sixties, uh, you know, uh, progressive music, you know, the FM radio progressive rock, right? Uh, the songs sweet, the eight or nine or 12 minute extended version that would then be cut and you need to make a three minute and 20 seconds single version of that.</p>
<p>So, yeah, th there are these different, uh, Oh, um, uh, Forums form, uh, durations, uh, the pop song three minutes, three classic pop song or symphonic, um, for much longer. Uh, but they, but they both have, you know, start, uh, evolution and ending. And, um, yeah, so connecting with, uh, the impermanence that, you know, the arising from nothing and to, to hearing something and that something changes and then something goes away.</p>
<p>Uh, I used to love, you know, I'd have, uh, you know, get your favorite 45 RPM record and say, man, I will just leave that thing on all [00:27:00] day long and just go over and over and over and over again, love that so much, but, but at least there was a little bit of gap between the successive plays. Um, right. That favorite record</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:13] right now, question audio engineer.</p>
<p>The loudness Wars. Do you think that those are serving us or not serving like Phil Spector popularized? The whole making everything allowed her and all the artists were like, make it louder. And so what do they call it? But what is that scale? It's like a D there's like a Dr. Number, like dynamic range. I think it might stand for.</p>
<p>And the higher, the number, the more actual, quiet to loud happens, the whole crescendos. How do you feel about like popular music and the loudness Wars?</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:27:47] Uh, you know, I came across a quote this morning of, uh, Walt Whitman and he said something like, um, am I contradictions? Well, I am, I am everything. So, so be it with contradiction. Uh, so my [00:28:00] answer is, uh, yeah, uh, loud, this war is good and bad aggressive use of compression. That's the type of circuit that, that reduces loud sounds to the mid range and brings quiet sounds up.</p>
<p>To the mid range to meet them. It helps with intelligibility of speech. So it's a good technique for speech where you're really trying to focus on the voice. And maybe there's some background noise in the place where you're, when you're listening, uh, uh, road noise or in a car. So FM, radio, or even am going back to the days of am radio.</p>
<p>Okay. Loudness compression is almost essential. Uh, early days of telephony telephony com compress the, the dynamic range to emphasize the volume aspects of the voice that are key to intelligibility. So it's good when it's used in music, it can be used as a musical effect and some of the earliest, um, uses of compression, aggressive compression, dynamic range reduction.</p>
<p>Um, And pop music would be like [00:29:00] some of the earlier Beale. Well, from the time of, uh, let's say, uh, rubber soul Beatles, rubber soul, 66, late 65 recordings. When the drum recordings of Ringo's drums were heavily compressed. So you would get this, the kick drum would slam in and then it would be this.</p>
<p>Reduction in volume following the kick drum hit. And then there would be a rapid swelling back up in between the kick drum beats. And what would happen is you'd get a, a cymbal sound that would was quite unlike a normal symbol. Normally when you hit a symbol, you hear the Pang crash decay. But these early recordings of a, of Ringo's drum kit, and with only two mikes with heavy, heavy compression, you'd get a, you get a swelling of a symbol that was like,</p>
<p>like a backward sound to like, then you're hearing, um, Oh my God, the [00:30:00] world has gone backwards or something is, you know, in, in, in the middle of this beat is a part that seems like it's backwards. So that's a, that's a beautiful use of, of compression. Now the worst use of compression is when you take the entire song, the entire production and, and smash that down so that there's almost no moments, a moment amplitude variation, you know, maybe a DB or two of amplitude variation so that it slams and, um, the, the, the, um, Broadcast channel or the recording channel, uh, and an attempt to make that song appear to be louder than those songs around it.</p>
<p>But when everyone does it, there's no difference. Right? So you haven't achieved the end of standing out. You've just literally leveled the playing field amongst all the participants. So that's a. That's a, that's the [00:31:00] answer? So, uh, dynamic range and processing. Um, yeah. Good. Yeah. Good, bad and ugly.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:31:06] Right?</p>
<p>Speaking of good, bad, good, bad, and ugly. I have a question to pose. I have my own theories, but not really. I would love your take on technically scientifically vibrationally. Why sounds affect us the way they do, for example. The good, you know, hearing a good sound that will soothe you or hearing a piece of music that for three minutes makes your ego mind be quiet so you can totally just listen without having your own input.</p>
<p>I think that's why music can be so moving because it takes you out of yourself and into the wider spectrum of the universe. But, and then you hear sounds like I heard about the government's having a certain sound wave that [00:32:00] can destroy somebody. Remember ma we would watch, it was a couple of years ago, how they would like one forest would out in the ocean, points the sound at a ship that would make them go crazy.</p>
<p>Right. You know, what is it about sound it's this other REL sound as it, as it relates to us as human beings, connecting with one another and understanding one another or the other way around making us fight each other, um, or causing harm to our bodies. And then there's also sound there's sound therapy, sound bath.</p>
<p>There are these sounds that actually will heal cells. What is it? It's it's really, Oh, it's like diving into the ocean with discovering all these things that we're not aware of yet, you know? Yeah.</p>
<p>[00:33:00] <strong>Michael: </strong>[00:33:00] It's um, I'll try to give a short, short answer. Um, and, uh, and, and to make the answer shorter, I'm going to put aside, um, Um, idiomatic expression.</p>
<p>Um, so let's group music that has genres, new age music, jazz, hip hop, rock, rap, whatever, all wrap it all up in one balloon and put it to the side for a moment so that we can concentrate on the more abstract qualities of sound and not the idiomatic expression. That's culturally informed. So I'm not responding to music because it's from the place and time of my birth and early childhood.</p>
<p>It's it's, you know, it's comforting to me because it reminds me of home or it reminds me of a certain being a certain age. So let's take all of that aside because that's all true. That's all true. But, but my work and my understanding comes through the empirical [00:34:00] work that I've done with more abstract sound and the basic physical dimensions of sound that is amplitude.</p>
<p>How loud or soft. Uh, frequency how high or how low, um, uh, and, uh, tambour, which is another word for, for tone. That is the tone quality. Is it buzzy or is it, uh, more, uh, flute, like a simple, simple sine waves. And then how do those, uh, how are those qualities, uh, combined together? Um, and then how do they change over time?</p>
<p>Um, now when you w you opened the show by talking about Santa Monica and the ocean, and, uh, this is something, you know, this is a sound that a lot of people are familiar with this crashing waves or even lapping water that's. Um, that is broad band sound. It's a lot of frequencies all at the [00:35:00] same time, mashed up together that the ear in her interprets as a.</p>
<p>Right. A lot of different frequencies. You don't recognize any one particular frequency and in a noise source like that broadband noise source and, and noise doesn't mean I'm. And here, I'm just saying, it gives you going to, as an engineering term noise, uh, without any value judgment attached to it. So it's just a broadband signal that we would call noise.</p>
<p>The opposite of that would be a single tone. Like you would hear from a Tibetan bowl as you were S. Scraping the Stryker around the outside of the bowl. More, more pure tone sound. Um, so we have, we have, um, noise. Oh, there's a continuum between noise and, um, pure tone. And both of those types of sounds [00:36:00] can affect us psychologically because there can be some truths.</p>
<p>The, the sounds that are impactful. I think the sounds that are impactful are expressions of truth. And then our soul and mind resonates to truth. You know, when someone lies to you, there's a discomfort that's associated with this shared knowing that the person knows that they're lying and it comes across in their voice.</p>
<p>And then you know that they're lying and, and you know, that they know that, you know, so the whole thing is a big ball of discomfort. And, you know, we've lived through and we're currently living through we, um, a lot of the chaos of disinformation and lack of truth. So music and sound is a way for us to parse our way through an intentional misuse of sound, to obscure and [00:37:00] confuse and to sow chaos.</p>
<p>Now, the former president. Would not have been elected, had so many of us given that person attention and listen to that person sound right. You know, or we're all somewhat complicit and bringing our attention, uh, two lies. You would think that, Oh my God lives have to be called out and, and, and, uh, reacted to, well, no, that feeds the monster.</p>
<p>But it let's, you know, my work, uh, uh, is an attempt to say, well, here's truth. Let's, let's bundle up all the lies and turn our backs to them. Turn our backs to that profanity and inhabit truth and see how that feels. Right. And that's where we live and that's so when people say, [00:38:00] well, now it makes me really now tone therapy.</p>
<p>It really gets me relaxed. Well, in part that's because you're not getting lied to.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:38:08] How do you do that though? How do you turn your back on it?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:13] Yeah. It, it, it has a nasty habit of, unless you call it out for what it is, it has a nasty habit of just being repeated and echoed and echoed and echoed in your own mind.</p>
<p>Sometimes he asks him sometimes just in popular culture</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:38:25] or, yeah, well, uh, to, to Fonz question, how do you tune that out? Well, it's practice. Um, this is, this is another type of mindfulness practice that you have to have an intention. You have to willfully use your attention. You know, bring in, I'm always combining the word attention with an, a, an intention.</p>
<p>You have to have an intention to listen attentively and to direct your attention because, um, um, to interact with free, will we have a free, we have, we have a free, we have the freewill to do this. How do we do that? [00:39:00] Oh, you can substitute it, but something else to begin. Well, you can get a singing bowl. If you play an instrument pluck.</p>
<p>The string on an instrument or tone and hum to</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:39:11] yourself. So causing an interference?</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:39:14] Um, no, I wouldn't call it an interference. I would call it, um, focus, uh, a shift in focus as an eight. These are AIDS to give the mind another form object. To a light upon and doing that intentionally free will is something that, uh, it's like a muscle, right?</p>
<p>And you can, sometimes you want to exercise your free will. And other times you don't, you know, I know that I have this problem. Well, I know what my, I know what, you know, my, my true essential self. Consciousness would have me do, but then there was like, well, let me just dip my toe in this mess over here and see how that [00:40:00] feels.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:01] Yeah, no, no, no, no. I totally get it. Sometimes I'll wake up. And first thing in the morning, my brain just starts spinning. And if I wake up too early and I know I'm going to be tired all day, I don't want to think, I just want to go back to sleep for instance. And so I will turn on, uh, and listen to something.</p>
<p>And, you know, that kind of sets my kind of higher mind. My thinking mind starts to quiet down and starts to quiet down. And finally, then I can go back to sleep. Um, you know, and it's just a question of, I'm just not ready to spin it all up yet.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:40:40] It saw, kind of reminds me of when we had our first child and.</p>
<p>That's Al Al would be crying and crying and crying. And I would do everything in my power to ease the situation, ease her, you know, I would start from the basics, like, [00:41:00] is it a diaper? Is it a burp? Is it something tight on her? Like her clothes don't fit or whatever, all of that. And nothing would work and she'd still be crying.</p>
<p>And are you, so is this kind of like, On the realm of sound changing things up. So I, I said interference, but Matt, will I call it cutting your key in martial arts? So Matt would take owl and he would take her into another room or take her out in nature, like remove her from that. Situation, give her a different perspective, different sounds, different temperature, different environment, going back to communication, and maybe you're hearing a lie.</p>
<p>Usually I know when someone is lying, when I can feel a gap in my brain. Like they're talking, but it doesn't make sense [00:42:00] on some other level on a deep, deep level where they're, I, I, there's a gap. Like there's a, there's just a gap is all I can describe it as, um, there's a point in time where there's nothingness and to, to get at the truth.</p>
<p>My question was, how do we, how do we do that? How do we get to the truth? Do we dive into that gap? Where there's nothingness, where in your brain, there's no sound</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:42:32] well, you have, um, you know, you suggest a good way to do it, which was paying attention to your body signals. And this is easier for some people than others.</p>
<p>You know, the F for people who are, it's not my first mode, right. Paying attention to my body and my emotions, you know, it's, it's partially gendered. Um, You know, it can be developed. We can all develop that. So yeah. Paying attention to what your body, how does it feel in the gut? How does it right. [00:43:00] Tension, no tension.</p>
<p>Yeah. So I think you're, you're, you're certainly right about, about. Recognizing what the body</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:43:08] is doing. It's so weird because I don't consider my brain as part of my body when you're saying that I'm like, it's not in my body, Michael it's in my brain. The brain is the body. Isn't that weird though? I just realized that.</p>
<p>But yeah, there's a, there's a, yeah, I have to get back into that space. Like what. I always say this. I always have, when I'm talking to someone on the phone, I can always tell when they're not listening, because I find myself shouting or my voice goes up and I'm trying to get louder. And as soon as I catch myself doing that, I'm like, Oh man, this person is not listening to me.</p>
<p>So, you know, but I can't put blame on that because I think we're in. Society now in such a way that we all have so much pain and it, you can describe it as not pain. You can [00:44:00] describe it as there's so much that needs attention. And we all haven't had attention placed on the things that desperately need it.</p>
<p>So that's why people interrupt each other because they desperately want to be heard. And they desperately also want to be hearing. The other person, but if, if we're both, if both sides are having such, um, turmoil in a way, maybe that's not the right word. Matches raises eyebrows up because I'm sure that's not what he would say.</p>
<p>He says, I tend to get negative with my descriptions, but what I'm saying is I think we're all experiencing so much and we, that it's a give and take. And right now we need to speak. We need to have our sounds, need to be expressed and released. At the same time. I think we're in a culture where there's so much coming at us where we're hearing so much and we're [00:45:00] seeing so much, and all of our senses are on overload.</p>
<p>That the basic sound, the basic thing is the sound. And I think if we start from there, I think that will start some. Some healing is if we go back to the quiet and then slowly introduce reintroduce sound to each other, if we go back into the quiet and really listen to ourselves, and then we're able to listen to the birds outside, we're able to listen to.</p>
<p>A new friend standing in front of us to understand what they're really saying instead of putting our own baggage, our own history into what they're saying. Do you guys see what I'm saying? Yeah,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:51] no, no, no, I totally get it. Um, no argument. I mean, we're certainly our brains are getting reprogrammed to be like these multitasking monsters.</p>
<p>And [00:46:00] it's hard for us to focus solely on one thing at a time anymore, because cause we don't have to, I've got my computer and I can Google this while I'm talking to that and I can see this and I can listen to that and I can do a million things at once. And you know, I think on some level. It does our, does our census of service, but on another level, it doesn't, it makes it harder to be quiet and still,</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:46:23] and I think we should go back to in utero, you know, like hearing that ocean sound when you're in the womb.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:46:33] Well, you know, to stay on this idea of truth and. Truth being, um, comforting and untruth, not being comforting. Um, I'm a comfortably lapsed, um, Roman Catholic and, um, so, um, I don't have any problem like using the Christian terminology and mythology. Um, so you can substitute whatever your favorite words are for these concepts.</p>
<p>But you know, in the beginning, [00:47:00] before there was anything, and then there was something and then what happened? Um, God said, Through the first thing that happened was God speaking versus nothing, then God speaks. Then God creates light.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:47:15] Oh my God. Right? Yeah. Like</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:47:18] so, so there's, it's, it's really kind of huge when you think that, um, enlight is what we use to, um, to be able to perceive forms, you know, objects, object forms, um, sound, sound objects.</p>
<p>We are, are a bit more ephemeral because they are truly not fixed informed. They're they're moving through time. They're constantly evolving through time. So they're less like they're less like a form than they are like energy. So I'd like to remind myself that before there was anything. Before there was light in physical objects.</p>
<p>It was sound. And before there was sound, there was nothing. Wow. You can kind of work your way back to silence. And then that, uh, uh, the [00:48:00] experience of, um, that's that stillness,</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:48:02] you know, I'm a big fan of Gregg, Braden and Joe Dispenza. And. I was, I spent like a week long time with Greg Brayden and one of his workshops and we were concentrating on sound and he, he kept emphasizing that as creatures.</p>
<p>We are, he said we are unique. I really don't think so because I think every creature makes sound, but he was talking about how your sound, your ability to vocalize something, manifest things. And because we can create sound from, from this area, the throat that it is, uh, it is a tool that will manifest things in physical form.</p>
<p>I tend to think every. Creature will do that. Right. Birds will do that, I think. Yeah. Do you know where I'm getting at? Like, I [00:49:00] just think</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:49:01] you gotta be careful with that manifestation stuff, you know?</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:49:05] Oh, right. Because you hear all the time. If you speak it out loud, that's the first step. Well, the first step is the quiet.</p>
<p>I'm sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:49:16] You can manifest, you know, you can manifest the ego can manifest quite well too. And then that's going to be a boatload of pain. Eventually</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:27] it depends. Right? Because, you know, I would say almost on a most primordial level, a bird will make noise in order to announce that they're there and then a mate shows up and then , you know, that's a very straight line, very scientific way of looking at things.</p>
<p>You know, versus, you know, I imagine I have a winning lottery ticket and boom, it's right there to it. And that feels more mystical. And yet, you know, the birds dead, it's just how it works. And</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:49:58] yeah. Yeah. When you, when you get to [00:50:00] the level of the human, where we have conscious intention, it can, we can load that manifestation activity or the gap.</p>
<p>Deepak Chopra likes to say, it's like, And cert the intention in between the gap and thoughts, or Frep the intention with a gap and then into that gap of no thinking and then into that gap in certain intention. And then, then boom, you know, you've kind of loaded your intention with that manifest. You've loaded the manifestation with an intention.</p>
<p>That's more conscious. So yeah, we so. We're not bird-like in that way. You guys,</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:50:39] the gap is great. I love that one. Isn't it reminds me of London. When I would get on the tube, what did they call it? I don't remember what they called it, but the train, you know, underground the underground. And you would always hear that voice come up and it would say mind the gap.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:50:58] And I wonder how many, you know, what [00:51:00] percentage of people actually did mind the gap?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:03] I was there. I was like, I don't want to get hurt, but yeah, I think, I think the first 20 times you hear it, you certainly hear it. But then I think after a while, it just kind of blends into your reality and you know what you're doing.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:51:15] So yeah, in China, it's funny that they don't tell you the mind, the gap they tell you quite, uh, quite clearly to step back from, from, from the, uh, from the train.</p>
<p>And they have, uh, right on the floor. They've got, um, um, you know, stand here even before COVID painted on the floor, we'd be the footsteps. So you stand here, you stand there and say, uh, and that's really interesting, you know, because, um, you know, it's a bit more of an authoritary immigrant. We're gonna compare 'em day in the life in London, day in the life, in, uh, in Shenzhen or Beijing.</p>
<p>It's a bit more authoritarian, uh, experience. Um, In in China. Uh, so, so rather than this, allowing, you know, th th the [00:52:00] in, in, in Britain, uh, the subway safety message of minding the gap, which is a beautiful. Double entendre, right? Uh, the mind, the physical gap, and maybe you might want to consider paying attention to what your mind is doing and the gap in between thoughts or pate.</p>
<p>Right. Um, but, but in China they say, don't go there.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:52:24] I was wondering</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:52:25] doing that. Don't go there.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:52:29] Oh my God. It's so true. And there, you know what, now I get it and it's quite beautiful. Sometimes you need to, we will take</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:52:36] care of it. We will take care of that gap for you,</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:52:40] but you know what, sometimes you need to hear that.</p>
<p>Don't go there. Because I can easily go into this messed up memory or messed up thing. Yeah. Yeah. Just don't go there. Someone has to tell me that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:53] See, I'm just laughing because every time like we start talking over a movie, cause that's what we do, uh, as a, as a household [00:53:00] and, and my wife was like, can you guys please be quiet?</p>
<p>Cause I want to hear this. Then we all yell. Don't go in there. Cause that's something you yell during a horror movie, right? Like, you know, the stupid heroin is about to walk in and encounter the, the, you know, our antagonist.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:53:17] Uh, I used to watch movies in peace and quiet, and I am grateful. I'm grateful. I have a family.</p>
<p>However, looking at a movie, it's just the movie experience I haven't had in many years because these guys will just talk. I don't understand is, is something happening to my hearing that. I can't listen and hear at the same time. Like I can't hear the movie and hear you guys at the same time. Are you guys able to hear what's going on in the mood?</p>
<p>No, of course not. I'm not</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:53:48] paying attention to a score. So why a plan? Oh, my clowning. That's what I do.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:53:52] I've try to watch a movie anyway. We digress. That's what we do. And other thing that trips me out is [00:54:00] when I hear politicians or I hear just anybody actually. Would they start raising their voice, like what is happening?</p>
<p>Right. I don't trust the person that raises their voice. It just makes me feel like they're losing control or they're lying, or they're trying to really push something they know is not right. Or pushing something that they know you don't think is. Right. So they're going to yell at when someone has an even keel.</p>
<p>Speaking voice. Why is that so much better?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:54:37] Well, it, it depends on where your head is at, you know, um, yeah, one of the unfortunate, great lessons, Adolf Hiller told us as a repo, uh, lie repeated loud enough, often enough becomes truth in people's minds. Wow. Speaking with a calm, even voice, you have the opportunity to lose what I call the soundbite [00:55:00] test.</p>
<p>So if I can snip out like two seconds of what you've said, that totally contradicts what you've said, you lose. And that's where we are today in a, in America. We're very much a soundbite mentality because we're kind of bumbling through so many things at a given moment. So if I say something like such and such as bad, and I don't really mean it, or, I mean it sarcastically that meaning can still get lost because of somebody can slice out just that tiny soundbite,</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:55:28] this, um, This, this challenge of, um, uh, linguistics words, right?</p>
<p>Subject object, uh, language and how, and how loud or not loud language is spoken, um, is fascinated me for a long time. And I think that's in part, what has brought me to this pure tone work that I do, which is, um, carries truth, but it's it's but not being carried by words. So it can be experienced as truth and not be, [00:56:00] um, rejected or, um, folks radar don't go up as quickly.</p>
<p>Um, so I, so I think what we're able to do with, uh, with tone therapy in these, in a very short period of time, and sometimes even just a fraction of a second of a cup, a few seconds is convey a sense of truth. That transcends the limitations of subject object, uh, language duality, because it's so easy to be reactive to, um, to the words he said.</p>
<p>And then he said,</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:56:39] uh, should I, should we play? Should we play a little bit right now, Michael?</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[00:56:47] We could. Yeah.</p>
<p>uh, ready? Ready? Okay. All right. Let's um, let's just take three minutes and listen to now, um, the present [00:57:00] moment and Mo, and the way we can make this easier is by listening to, um, a little. Meditation device, a sound meditation device called now tone therapy. Uh, it, it takes just three minutes to listen to this.</p>
<p>Um, and all you have to do is, um, bring in an intention to listen attentively. Now it's natural for thoughts to arise, and as they do, just notice that you have thoughts arising, but bring your attention, bring your attention back to the sounds and, um, Enjoy the, uh, enjoy the gap between thoughts. You'll notice that.</p>
<p>And that's a beautiful thing because that's, uh, that's your essential self. That is what is noticing is consciousness. And, um, let's uh, let's just give it a listen.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[00:57:53] Okay, here we go.</p>
<p>[00:58:00] <strong>Track 4: </strong>[00:58:09] uh,</p>
<p>uh,</p>
<p>[01:01:00] [01:00:00] [00:59:00] uh,</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:01:22] I'd like to have a big breath, you know, a big release and then an honor that space, and then gradually come back to the business at hand. It doesn't have to be</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:01:32] long. Can I describe what goes through my spirit? What I get from it is so add to remind myself to just focus on the sound and nothing else. And then I started to actually see waves.</p>
<p>Like when you throw a pebble into water and you see. The rings expanding one by one. I saw that cause I was trying to close my eyes so I could [01:02:00] really just focus on one thing, which was the sound. And it made me realize that that's the only way to really get to a healing state, whether it's emotional healing, physical healing, because life is really quite simple.</p>
<p>If you'll allow for the focus on one thing to occur and not putting your attention and your focus on so many things at the same time, because I think what happens is pieces of ourselves ended up dispersing everywhere. And we're not there. Like if you could imagine you're a whole thing. And if one piece of you goes over here, one piece of vehicles in this other direction, It's like you're exploding into space and all these different directions.</p>
<p>And you're not in the now that you're not in that one point in the universe and for anything to happen for your [01:03:00] dreams to come true for you to be able to love for you, to be able to see you have to bring yourself into that one pinpoint part of the universe for, for a little bit. And it's and it's apropos that this is called now.</p>
<p>Did you mean for that to happen, Michael? Yeah, it has.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:03:24] It has two, two meetings, right? The present moment. And it's also, it's an acronym for new origin wave forms. So each moment is a, is a new moment being created and carried forward through sound waves, new origin, making a new moment. So, yeah, the present moment and also new origin through wave forms.</p>
<p>I</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:03:47] have, I have a little story that will maybe help. What I'm talking about is there was a moment I was on a photo shoot and it was going through something horrible. There [01:04:00] was, it was, uh, there was some trauma, there was, um, was actually a stalker was after me and I was out, uh, in. The what seemed like out in the middle of nowhere, but it was where I worked the corporation I was working for.</p>
<p>It was there. And, um, I had had a harrowing night actually the next morning. So I went a night without sleep. So much was happening. I was under so much stress the next morning at 6:00 AM. I was on a photo shoot. I was a photographer and I was standing there. And this woman that I worked with who works for the corporation also, she was standing there.</p>
<p>She was in management. So she was helping me with a photo shoot and she knew what was going on. She knew what had happened. Everyone was on high alert and the building, and she looked at me, she smiled and she said, [01:05:00] Child of God. Are you happy? First of all, for her to say child of God, because I wasn't religious, was it tweaked me a little bit?</p>
<p>And then for her to say, are you happy with a smile on her face? And really, uh, it really bothered me. Like, are you crazy? You know what what's been happening? The whole building is like on alert. And you're asking me if I'm happy. And I don't know what I said to her. I probably didn't say anything. I probably looked really confused and I was exhausted.</p>
<p>And she said, she, she kept repeating that to me. And she knew, or maybe I said, are you crazy? And she said, look right in this moment right now. So she gave me these steps. She's like right now, where are you standing right now? Are you not standing in front of me right now? Are you not at a room that is [01:06:00] beautiful right now.</p>
<p>Are you not surrounded by people who are protecting you right now? Don't you have everything that is making you, your body, everything comfortable right now? Is it not peaceful right now? Like she kept saying that she brought me to. That precise moment that if you break it down, if you keep breaking down right now, right now, right now, everything else disappears and everything is okay.</p>
<p>If you go into that space of right now, you can strip out everything else that is happening that is distracting and pulling you in different directions. And I think that's what happens when you listen to this.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:06:55] Yeah, and it, you know, getting to right now then allows for the inspired [01:07:00] thought that allows, that can empower change or in the case of your story, taking appropriate protective actions, asking for help.</p>
<p>All of this can come from a truly empowered, inspired moment. So it's not passive. It's really. Still act, it's still action and stillness. Really? That being able to connect to the present moment doesn't mean that we don't, that we can function in the world. We can function better actually.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:07:31] Absolutely better.</p>
<p>Matt, you're quiet. Yes. Why are you quiet? You're in the</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:07:37] now maybe.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:07:40] Well, we know that sound. Is one of the key factors in creation first comes nothing, then comes sound, and then comes what? The</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:07:53] 10,000 things. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:07:55] The 10,000 things. But I would argue first comes thought, then come sound, then [01:08:00] comes, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.</p>
<p>Yeah. Because you have to set your intention before you, right?</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:08:05] Yeah. Now we're getting metaphysical.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:08:11] Well, Shall we continue this for another time it leave it. Sure. The peaceful, peaceful. Now then the peaceful now</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:08:24] really, really nice, uh, visit and a wonderful way to, to finish here and for me to start my day.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:08:30] Cool. Thank you so much for being with us. We want to thank</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:08:36] you both.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:08:36] Yeah. I look forward to future conversations with you. There's so much to explore. Seems that way. Doesn't it? It does. I think, I think this conversation really had so many facets we could have gone into that I really wanted to go into, but I was trying to be quiet.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:08:55] Me too.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:08:56] Actually. I don't like it when you're quiet.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:08:58] I know, but you [01:09:00] know, you did shush me at one point.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:09:03] I did.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:09:05] That was the ocean waves.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:09:07] And that was not, um, a mother lovingly shush.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:09:11] Oh, I would like to swap some stories around, um, uh, you know, place as a teacher. And we can, we can do that at another time. I love that idea that, uh, you know, Santa Monica, as a teacher, there are many different kinds of teachers we can talk about.</p>
<p>We can have a whole conversation around teachers and students, different kinds of teachers. Absolutely love that places can be teachers for me, read flutes. Our, our teachers. And, uh, I'll try to paraphrase the, uh, the classic Rumi poem, uh, you know, the Reed flute, which, which is, Oh my God, I'm speaking to a woman that should be quite familiar with it.</p>
<p>Reed flute,</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:09:51] my family.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:09:53] Yeah. So these reeds grow. By the side of, uh, where it's moist by the side of the [01:10:00] stream. And, um, they, they reach up to the heavens, they, the flowers catch the light and they, the roots are in the ground. So it's really a beautiful conduit between the sky and the earth. And when these reeds are picked and dried and then shaped into flutes, that the sound that they make when you play a Reed flute.</p>
<p>And I believe this Rumi poem is called the sound of the song of the Reed flute. Uh, it's a very mournful tambour, and that's because the Reed flute remembers it's a right relationship between the sun and the earth and its relationship to its brethren. And it longs for all of that together is the beloved.</p>
<p>So it, it longs for the sun and lungs for its feet to be in the ground and longs to be next to its brethren and the Reed Grove and the sound and the music that comes from the Reed flute. It's quite poignantly, um, as a quite poignant, longing, uh, timber.</p>
<p>[01:11:00] <strong>fawn: </strong>[01:11:00] Nice.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:11:02] So that's a teacher, you know, so the read flutes for me, I used to make these things.</p>
<p>I found them. I found them growing up in coastal Maine when my daughters and I, and we're on vacation. And when they were very young and I started making these floods. And so they became the flute itself, the read itself taught me how to make a flute and then through playing them. There's other kinds of learnings that come in from those teachers.</p>
<p>So there are plant teachers, there are place city teachers, there's all kinds of</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:11:28] teachers. Definitely the squirrel outside has been my teacher for the past year. What</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:11:34] be greedy and get fat.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:11:35] No. Oh, the school comes up and I just learned so much from the squirrel. Like just keep, you know, just simple play and they survive out there.</p>
<p>Here we are inside. It gets negative 20 degrees Fahrenheit out here and they're still like, Jill, you know, they, they move on with life and they're still cute [01:12:00] and happy and bouncing around and playing all the time. Before we go, I want to ask you a question. Both of you, Michael you first, what is your favorite sound in the world?</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:12:16] My favorite sound in the world is a sound I never get to hear because I'm, um, I have a. Tinnitus, which is described as ringing in the ears. You hear tones all the time. It came on very, very gradually I think, as a result of the kind of audio loud audio work I did early in my career. Uh, and I no longer hear silence.</p>
<p>So, um, that would be my favorite sound would be the sound of silence.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:12:44] Wow. How about you, man?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:12:49] Yeah. Wow. As he said it it's like, you know, that moment we have air purifiers and they run all the time in the house for the most part. [01:13:00] But there's a moment where I take the air purifier out of our bedroom and I move it into our study for, so I could begin my day.</p>
<p>Uh, and that moment where I unplug it and I can, I can feel the whole world just kind of go like everything everything's quiet. And sometimes I'll turn off the air purifier by the girls. And I literally, I can. Feel a shift in their energy. Just exhale, everything. Just kind of just settles.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:13:30] Yeah. Yeah. My favorite sound I have too, is you guys laughing?</p>
<p>That's a good sound. The laughter of our children and the laughter of Matt.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:13:42] I was going to go that way, but there's a, there's a visual component for me as well.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:13:46] And I have another sound and I wouldn't know what the visual component is. I just want to finish. Is the other thing is when I reach out and I hear a friend talking back to me on the other end, [01:14:00] that is a lifesaver right there.</p>
<p>True. And it's not fair because I'm the one who asked the question. So I had time to think about it while you guys were talking, but what I need to hear someone's voice to let me know I'm not alone. When I, I, my mind goes into that lie of I'm all alone. Yeah. So what was the visual component you were saying?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:14:24] Just there's a brightness in a laugh, right. And I'll see that on, especially Ellis face, but I'll see that on everyone's face as they're laughing all of a sudden, but it's, it's like a little spotlight is shined on their faces. There's a, there's a Glint in the eye. There's the, there's the compression of the cheek into the smile.</p>
<p>Right. Um, so it's, there's a visual cause I was thinking the exact same thing, but it's, it's the two of them together. Strictly sound. It's</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:14:50] that shoe, you know what it is? It's a war. It's a term you use when I first met you. It's a divine spark</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:14:57] Heyo, right? Yes, it [01:15:00] is very much. It is kind of this connection.</p>
<p>It feels like a connection with something higher.</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:15:06] All right, everybody, we're going to wind it down. Thank you so much, Michael, for being with us today.</p>
<p><strong>Michael: </strong>[01:15:13] You're very welcome folks. So great</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:15:15] to be here and everyone, we are going to have a link. To the now, so you can hear more and you can. Figure out where you can get your hands on these things.</p>
<p>They're amazing. They're like there is, I've never been near a hockey puck, but is this what it looks like, man? I think</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[01:15:36] it's a little bit flatter and maybe a little bit wider, but, um, so the company is called solar S O L U and it's the now and it's two speakers</p>
<p><strong>fawn: </strong>[01:15:45] and this is, this is not a commercial guys.</p>
<p>This is like us for real loving this. Device. Um, we'll put more into our show notes about it. Michael, thank you so much again, and [01:16:00] friends, we will talk to you in a few days. Yes, we will stay in the now take care. We'll talk to you later. Sure.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-37-Breaking-the-Sound-Barrier-w-Michael-Joly.m4a" length="92560764"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Breaking the Sound Barrier with Michael Joly
On this episode we explore sound and how it changes and connects us; how to hear, listen and distinguish the truth in our hearts and souls. We also have a three minute Tone Therapy session with the use of Michael’s invention: the N.O.W. sound device which when you listen for 3 minutes and 20 seconds has the similar outcome of a long meditation.
Wise words from this podcast:
Michael Joly:
“All forms arise from no form.”
“Having a fog experience like that, can kind of bring us back to this primordial pre-formed time. And I think that's part of what we're recognizing in a fog experience; is it's not quite in form yet.”
“…the Holy Spirit doesn't speak first nor the loudest. “
“…sitting in stillness and allowing stillness and allowing spaciousness allows thus, still small, very quiet, inspired thoughts to arise.”
“I realized that when I followed sound so intensely like that in the context of my job as an audio engineer, in the context of, of, you know, designing products and, uh, and listening to them, , that I found, I found I could not be thinking at the same time as I, as listening, if I was truly bringing and intentional attention to listening, right. I could not be thinking at the same time. And then only years later, did I say, Whoa, wait a minute. That sort of matches up with some of the check boxes of what meditation is and intentional unintentional, unintentional nonjudgmental focus on the present moment.”
“Let’s bundle up all the lies and turn our backs to them. Turn our backs to that profanity and inhabit truth and see how that feels.”
 
“…this is another type of mindfulness practice that you have to have an intention. You have to willfully use your attention…combining the word attention with an, a, an intention. You have to have an intention to listen attentively and to direct your attention.”
“A shift in focus as an aid; these are aids; to give the mind another form object to alight upon, and doing that intentionally.”
Fawn:
“Where the magic happens is in the space of the unknown… everything manifests within that space of nothingness where it's not formed yet.”
 
Transcript:
Breaking the Sound Barrier Episode 37 with Michael Joly
[00:00:00] Track 1: [00:00:00] We're an interracial couple with two kids wanting to do something that highlights the power of friendship and what it means to be in the company of true friends. We're going to move our society away and out of the loneliness epidemic and into a friendlier, happier world. Welcome to our friendly world.
Better, stronger, together.
fawn: [00:00:42] Good morning. Good afternoon. Hello. Hello. You know the sound of the ocean, the sound of ocean waves. I'm getting right into at first negative wisdom from Santa Monica. This time. [00:01:00] It's the sounds that I heard from Santa Monica. That was my lesson. I, as a small child, as you guys know, I talk about. My mentor, Santa Monica all the time.
But as a child, now that I'm looking back on, it makes sense. One of the reasons I felt so calm and taken care of, I think it was the sound of the ocean waves. What is it about that? It's, it's like, it's like the sound of. Shh. Like, I don't know how that came across the microphone, but you know, when we had our babies and the doctors would say, uh, that's sound calms them, um, on an extreme level, they would say even the sound of a vacuum cleaner calms them.
And I'm like, why? That is ridiculous. And they would say it, it could be the sound [00:02:00] of. Just being in utero. Right. All the, all the pipes going, I guess. I don't know how you describe it, but you know, the sounds of water you're in water. Right. And so the sounds of the waves, I guess it's kind of like, it reminds you of a brea...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Divided-Drum-with-the-hand-of-the-drummer.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:16:28</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Imprint - We Are Creating  Each Other]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Apr 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-imprint-we-are-creating-each-other-1</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-imprint-we-are-creating-each-other-1</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>Episode 36  The Imprint - We Are Creating  Each Other</strong></p>
<p>Side note: At the end of this show, Matt grapples with something he caught himself saying about friendship that really bothered him. So we will have to explore a second half of this topic by bringing an expert on, for another show to remedy things.</p>
<p>Pearl of wisdom from Bruno’s in Santa Monica – an entity/ parental/protective figure that helps raise the children.</p>
<p>This episode is about leadership. Matt explains the concept of servant/leader.</p>
<p>We discuss true leadership and what that truly is.</p>
<p>We discuss tantrums.</p>
<p>In all aspects of life and culture, we are here to take care of each other. We are creating each other. Creativity - creative energies are brewing and are very strong.  I always think about collaboration and creativity; the way we influence each other in conversation, our experience with one another and how they create an imprint; I can be imprinted by your behavior. My behavior could be imprinted on you.  Your behavior towards me can create and impression of you that will be forever imprinted.  It happens in relationships, in business, with leadership, with friendship; all of the ships.      </p>
<p>#leader #ittakesavillage #parenthood #friendship #leadership, #business #tantrums #servant #servantleader #despit  #compassion #undercoverboss #tedlasso #ellewoods #legallyblonde #aikido</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Good morning. Hello? Oh,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:05] you're gonna have to cut out that first one second. I said evening</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:08] and now I'm not cutting anything. Oh, dear. How are you guys? Welcome to our friendly world. This is fun. How are you doing? What do you love to,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:19] what'd you doing? Oh man. I'm feeling energized today. You're in trouble.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:23] I, I was, I know, you know what?</p>
<p>I, I woke up feeling like I was in trouble. My mind is really preoccupied. I feel not so light in the head, like too many thoughts, too many. Responsibilities too many wants and desires and too many frustrations in my head right now.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:44] I've been there, but feeling like laser-focused, I'm</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:48] glad. Okay. I will start with a Pearl of wisdom, Pearl of wisdom, because I usually start by saying it's a nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica.</p>
<p>This one is a [00:01:00] Pearl because it has to do with. Transcending time and being a parent, being a grandparent or not that you're a grandparent or parent per se, but  it's the feeling, it's the responsibility aspect of it. It's the aspect of taking care of someone regardless of your age and taking care of them as far as emotional goes.</p>
<p>, if you guys have listened to the very, very first it's called the mentor, the mentor is me talking about my mentor and that's the city of Santa Monica. When I was a kid, Santa Monica was always around. I had no idea I was being influenced by this entity. And by the time I was 16, 17.</p>
<p>Most of my friends were out of high school. They were in their twenties, they were working professionals. I worked with them and the people that I worked with had other friends. So we all became friends and I was the youngest one in the group. Gotcha. [00:02:00] And one friend was, this was before gay marriage, but they were kind of married.</p>
<p>They were together,  to two men in their twenties. , beautiful people and so loving to me. And they really took me under their wing. And because I was having so many problems with my family and there were, there was so much, I was, there was so much I was working on, I was working on my portfolio trying to figure out how to make it as a professional photographer, even back then, as a kid.</p>
<p>And they helped me out when th...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Episode 36  The Imprint - We Are Creating  Each Other
Side note: At the end of this show, Matt grapples with something he caught himself saying about friendship that really bothered him. So we will have to explore a second half of this topic by bringing an expert on, for another show to remedy things.
Pearl of wisdom from Bruno’s in Santa Monica – an entity/ parental/protective figure that helps raise the children.
This episode is about leadership. Matt explains the concept of servant/leader.
We discuss true leadership and what that truly is.
We discuss tantrums.
In all aspects of life and culture, we are here to take care of each other. We are creating each other. Creativity - creative energies are brewing and are very strong.  I always think about collaboration and creativity; the way we influence each other in conversation, our experience with one another and how they create an imprint; I can be imprinted by your behavior. My behavior could be imprinted on you.  Your behavior towards me can create and impression of you that will be forever imprinted.  It happens in relationships, in business, with leadership, with friendship; all of the ships.      
#leader #ittakesavillage #parenthood #friendship #leadership, #business #tantrums #servant #servantleader #despit  #compassion #undercoverboss #tedlasso #ellewoods #legallyblonde #aikido
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Good morning. Hello? Oh,
Matt: [00:00:05] you're gonna have to cut out that first one second. I said evening
Fawn: [00:00:08] and now I'm not cutting anything. Oh, dear. How are you guys? Welcome to our friendly world. This is fun. How are you doing? What do you love to,
Matt: [00:00:19] what'd you doing? Oh man. I'm feeling energized today. You're in trouble.
Fawn: [00:00:23] I, I was, I know, you know what?
I, I woke up feeling like I was in trouble. My mind is really preoccupied. I feel not so light in the head, like too many thoughts, too many. Responsibilities too many wants and desires and too many frustrations in my head right now.
Matt: [00:00:44] I've been there, but feeling like laser-focused, I'm
Fawn: [00:00:48] glad. Okay. I will start with a Pearl of wisdom, Pearl of wisdom, because I usually start by saying it's a nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica.
This one is a [00:01:00] Pearl because it has to do with. Transcending time and being a parent, being a grandparent or not that you're a grandparent or parent per se, but  it's the feeling, it's the responsibility aspect of it. It's the aspect of taking care of someone regardless of your age and taking care of them as far as emotional goes.
, if you guys have listened to the very, very first it's called the mentor, the mentor is me talking about my mentor and that's the city of Santa Monica. When I was a kid, Santa Monica was always around. I had no idea I was being influenced by this entity. And by the time I was 16, 17.
Most of my friends were out of high school. They were in their twenties, they were working professionals. I worked with them and the people that I worked with had other friends. So we all became friends and I was the youngest one in the group. Gotcha. [00:02:00] And one friend was, this was before gay marriage, but they were kind of married.
They were together,  to two men in their twenties. , beautiful people and so loving to me. And they really took me under their wing. And because I was having so many problems with my family and there were, there was so much, I was, there was so much I was working on, I was working on my portfolio trying to figure out how to make it as a professional photographer, even back then, as a kid.
And they helped me out when th...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Imprint - We Are Creating  Each Other]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>36</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>Episode 36  The Imprint - We Are Creating  Each Other</strong></p>
<p>Side note: At the end of this show, Matt grapples with something he caught himself saying about friendship that really bothered him. So we will have to explore a second half of this topic by bringing an expert on, for another show to remedy things.</p>
<p>Pearl of wisdom from Bruno’s in Santa Monica – an entity/ parental/protective figure that helps raise the children.</p>
<p>This episode is about leadership. Matt explains the concept of servant/leader.</p>
<p>We discuss true leadership and what that truly is.</p>
<p>We discuss tantrums.</p>
<p>In all aspects of life and culture, we are here to take care of each other. We are creating each other. Creativity - creative energies are brewing and are very strong.  I always think about collaboration and creativity; the way we influence each other in conversation, our experience with one another and how they create an imprint; I can be imprinted by your behavior. My behavior could be imprinted on you.  Your behavior towards me can create and impression of you that will be forever imprinted.  It happens in relationships, in business, with leadership, with friendship; all of the ships.      </p>
<p>#leader #ittakesavillage #parenthood #friendship #leadership, #business #tantrums #servant #servantleader #despit  #compassion #undercoverboss #tedlasso #ellewoods #legallyblonde #aikido</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:00] Good morning. Hello? Oh,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:05] you're gonna have to cut out that first one second. I said evening</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:08] and now I'm not cutting anything. Oh, dear. How are you guys? Welcome to our friendly world. This is fun. How are you doing? What do you love to,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:19] what'd you doing? Oh man. I'm feeling energized today. You're in trouble.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:23] I, I was, I know, you know what?</p>
<p>I, I woke up feeling like I was in trouble. My mind is really preoccupied. I feel not so light in the head, like too many thoughts, too many. Responsibilities too many wants and desires and too many frustrations in my head right now.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:00:44] I've been there, but feeling like laser-focused, I'm</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:00:48] glad. Okay. I will start with a Pearl of wisdom, Pearl of wisdom, because I usually start by saying it's a nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica.</p>
<p>This one is a [00:01:00] Pearl because it has to do with. Transcending time and being a parent, being a grandparent or not that you're a grandparent or parent per se, but  it's the feeling, it's the responsibility aspect of it. It's the aspect of taking care of someone regardless of your age and taking care of them as far as emotional goes.</p>
<p>, if you guys have listened to the very, very first it's called the mentor, the mentor is me talking about my mentor and that's the city of Santa Monica. When I was a kid, Santa Monica was always around. I had no idea I was being influenced by this entity. And by the time I was 16, 17.</p>
<p>Most of my friends were out of high school. They were in their twenties, they were working professionals. I worked with them and the people that I worked with had other friends. So we all became friends and I was the youngest one in the group. Gotcha. [00:02:00] And one friend was, this was before gay marriage, but they were kind of married.</p>
<p>They were together,  to two men in their twenties. , beautiful people and so loving to me. And they really took me under their wing. And because I was having so many problems with my family and there were, there was so much, I was, there was so much I was working on, I was working on my portfolio trying to figure out how to make it as a professional photographer, even back then, as a kid.</p>
<p>And they helped me out when they were gorgeous. They were my models because I did these elaborate fashion shoots back then. And, , Michael was,  the higher level tier of this, I don't know if it was a chain back then, a pretty well known hair salon. So he was this really talented hairdresser.</p>
<p>And it's really interesting because I always had that , in my field. I always had martial [00:03:00] artists around me and. People that were involved in makeup and hair, you know, because I mean, years later I ended up working for the Aveda corporation. Right. And I was surrounded by that. It was like the professionals in the industry that worked in hair and makeup.</p>
<p>So anyway, when I would visit my friends, they lived right on the boardwalk. The Pearl of wisdom comes from a place, a restaurant, an Italian restaurant, and Matt you'll remember, but this restaurant was part of the influence for me when I was a kid, like it was always around and it was Bruno. Remember Bruno's restaurant.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:03:41] I was about to ask if it was brewed house, but yeah, of course it must be right there at the base of the, literally the boardwalk,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:03:47] rather. Exactly. It was right on the corner. And the food was lovely, but what was really amazing and comforting was the owner. It was always him, [00:04:00] always working, always cooking.</p>
<p>You walk in there. He is, he's waving at you. He's always smiling at you, but he was like a caretaker. He was like a guardian angel for that area. And it, and I just felt like. W, especially at that age, I needed comfort. So my friends gave me comfort, but also Bruno's gave me comfort. Like he was always there and there was just the whole nourishing part of life.</p>
<p>That was Bruno's. It was always there. He was always there. Right. So years later, I mean, many years later he was still there. And I remember hanging out with him. And I was hanging out now with now we're, you know, much older. I am anyway, and I'm hanging out with a friend, who's a dad and he has a teenager.</p>
<p>And this teenager of his is out of control. Right. And we were always talking about this. I'm [00:05:00] like, why is it the parents look so old? And I remember we were watching opera together. One day we were just sitting in his apartment and we were looking at, this was a long time ago, but we were looking at, uh, a panel and I don't remember what the discussion was about, but they were, they were parents and they were talking about their children and they looked really old to me.</p>
<p>So I looked over to my friend I'm like, because they said how old they were. Okay. And I was shocked that they were actually that young because they looked really old handled to my friend. I'm like, why do they look like that? He didn't even skip a beat. He goes their parents.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:05:44] Oh my</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:05:44] goodness. What do you mean?</p>
<p>He goes, it it's stressful. Fun. Like, what are you talking about? And so, anyway, that's when he started talking about.  What he's going through with his son, with his teenage son, like this guy is out of control. , he [00:06:00] doesn't talk he's into bad things, but I don't know exactly what is happening.</p>
<p>There's no communication. It's like the tantrums are on another level. When they're at that age tantrums,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:13] I was about to say, and you would call them tantrums.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:15] I now would call them tantrums because I've seen. Tantrums take place, not only with toddlers, but heads of CEOs. I've seen tantrums in politics.</p>
<p>I've seen tantrums just in regular business. It is ridiculous. If I can step away from it, it is quite comical, but it's not really</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:06:36] well when you're emotionally connected. It's really hard to step away.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:06:39] So. Okay. Well, I mean, not just being emotionally connected, but  obviously you have to do business with someone, even if you try to remain unemotional about it and like level headed, it is crazy.</p>
<p>Like, are you serious right now? That type of thing. Anyway. So back to Bruno's  , so I was sitting with my friend [00:07:00] who has the son that's out of control. And we're just sitting there trying to calm down and like, just trying to have a nice afternoon. Right. You know, how we would go to Bruno's and we would just sit there and just eat an early dinner before we headed out and did other things.</p>
<p>Right. So we're sitting there. And Bruna comes from behind the counter. Like he's he was always there spinning and twirling the pizzas or whatever. And he was always busy, but he came, he came to our table and he's talking to my friend. He's like, Hey, give him info on his son that he didn't have. Oh, snap.</p>
<p>And I was like, Oh my God. , this guy kind of like, I felt in a way watched out for me when I was a kid. And here he is, he still looks the same as the same youthful thing that he had. And now he's still looking, he's doing the same things and I'm looking out for this right? For my [00:08:00] friend. Who's the dad of this kid.</p>
<p>I was just blown away, but that's a nugget of wisdom right there. That's a Pearl of wisdom, no matter your age,  that's the village, ,  we take care of each other in a way we are creating each other, you know, creativity, creative energies brewing, and very strong.  , I always think about collaboration and creativity, the way we influence each other in conversation, our experience with one another, they create an imprint.</p>
<p>I can be imprinted by your behavior. My behavior could be imprinted on you, right? Your behavior towards me can create and impression of you that will be forever imprinted, , it happens in business with leadership, with friendship, all of the ships,  I'm thinking about one instance.</p>
<p>If I'm going to talk about [00:09:00] business, I had this experience where this person that I admired suddenly had a tantrum.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:09:07] Right? I mean, everybody can have a bad day though, right?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:09:09] It wasn't about a bad day. I could see it brewing. I was watching this person for a while because one, I admired them and two, because I felt like I was proud of them and I was wanting to just watch them to see how they navigate through life.</p>
<p>Okay. Navigate through business and they're pretty well known, , they're, they're quite successful, but I was watching , and I was seeing little signs along the way that they could be wavering or they could be, , what's the word? Not necessarily being troubled, but like I could see a few hiccups happening.</p>
<p>Right. And it wasn't a parents to people, but I was noticing  little tiny things in the ether here and there. If I can say that, [00:10:00] I was just noticing certain things. And so one day I had a question and it was the same question I had had for a long time. And it was always, , pushed aside like, Oh, we'll get to that later.</p>
<p>So we're in business, like, right. It's a business relationship. And I have a legitimate question. I need to get something done. And it was constantly like, Oh, when you get to it, when you're ready, we'll discuss it then. Right. I kept saying, well, I'm ready. Can we discuss it now? Well, let's discuss it at this meeting.</p>
<p>Well, that meeting comes up and there was no room for that conversation. So I said, once again, , I really need to figure this out  could we have a discussion or a call or something, but I, I use the word call as in, I didn't mean necessarily it has to be a call, but this person had a major tantrum.</p>
<p>And I was so I wasn't surprised because I could feel it coming from months ago [00:11:00] and , I tried to not. Step in the way, because I don't know , what it is about me, but I S I, I tend to get the heat for things. If there's a whole group feeling this way, right. And it's targeted at maybe this leader, that's not doing their job.</p>
<p>We feel like they're not doing their job. They're phoning it in. It's not things aren't being done. Right. And if I'm in that group, I get scolded. Because I asked what I think was an innocent question. Like, Hey, can you help me with this? Right. And then all of a sudden I get , the lashing. Is that a word?</p>
<p>You know, I get, I get the tongue lashing and I get the whip,  , and everybody else can be like, Oh wow. That sucks. And meanwhile, I'm here shaking. Like what the</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:11:47] hell? You're very empathetic. So yeah, no, I totally get it. And you're getting now into leadership and how leaders process things. And so often I [00:12:00] think we go out into the world as babes in the woods and we don't know anything.</p>
<p>You know, I have a four-year degree in computer programming. Big whoop. I learned some very cool stuff, absolutely things that I still use every day, but from a technological viewpoint. Oh my God. There's, you know, you could fill many encyclopedias with the amount of technological stuff I don't know anything about.</p>
<p>And the trick is, is that a lot leader, depending on the style and the type of leader you're trying to be. I think people are very much locked into this whole, leave it to Beaver ward, Cleaver who always had a good answer. And , sometimes as a leader, you don't have a good answer and you need to be able to clearly communicate.</p>
<p>I don't know. I don't have a good answer to that. And that's hard for people because when you're seen as a leader, people like to view themselves. People think that they're seen up on a pedestal and we've, we've talked about, [00:13:00] , mentors and things that ultimately, you know, I've never had somebody that I could emulate a hundred percent and that's just what it is.</p>
<p>People  ended up being shite on one level or another, and it's really hard to be that hundred percent emulator kind of a person. And, , I'm willing to bet if you go digging for enough dirt, you're going to find it on everyone. Everybody screws up. And it's not about, it's not about how, how you screw up.</p>
<p>It's about what you do when you do screw up. Do you double down and,  attack the other person or do you really listen to their criticism or understand what they're saying and say, you know what? I don't have an answer for you right now. I'm going to find one for you.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:13:44] Okay. Which you sent it because I was going to talk about.</p>
<p>How we, how we always talk about mentors, . And how you and I grew up looking for the mentor and we never found it. So we had to, we had to pretty much do things on our own because the [00:14:00] parents suddenly didn't have any answers for, I think probably for the age that we were in, like the ages in society, like had changed so much, there's so much information.</p>
<p>Everything is constantly new, but then yeah. You made the devils point of, well, it's always been new for the past century and a half. Like everything's changed. It seems that way for sure. But then we had mentors way, way, way, way back during, when the change started to happen. You know, I just felt like back then years ago, like a hundred years ago, there was, even though we, the change had started, like we had so many advances.</p>
<p>With technology and we had the car, the phone, the backs, the cell phone, the internet. But no I'm saying how it started. Like we had suddenly there was a car, right? No more horse carriages needed. , suddenly we had washing machines in the house or a telephone in the house. Then we had all of a sudden, a [00:15:00] cell phone you can walk around with.</p>
<p>Right. Then we have the internet, you know, all of that, like in a short amount of time, within the last a hundred, hundred 50 years, would you say it would take</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:11] a hundred years? Just keep it a hundred</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:14] years, but yeah, but like I'm saying. It feels like a hundred years ago, we still have the journeyman and the, you know, the apprentice, the</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:15:22] dream things were pretty much straight line and odds are, you knew.</p>
<p>It actually may be more about 150 years ago, because if you really think about it years ago, a hundred years ago, we were just coming out of world</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:15:36] war one. But so do you see what I'm, what I'm getting at back then? There was that respect of like, okay, this person knows their stuff and they did. Right. , they may have had tantrums and other places, but as far as their work.</p>
<p>They were seen as , the leader. Like you took care of business, right? Like, think about even the soldiers that went [00:16:00] into world war two and think about the population around the world, what they all sacrificed for. And I'm not saying, I'm not saying I'm advocating war. I'm not, but I, what I am intrigued by is how everyone pulled together for one common cause.</p>
<p>And I'm saying there is no more one common cause, and there's no more one. Common kind of like a mentor in any particular field. I feel like. And if there are people out there like that, please let me know guys, our friends that are listening please, because I've been searching for forever and I have not found it.</p>
<p>And so what I'm saying is it's not you. I was going to also bring up the mentor thing that you just talked about. And also it's also the capacity thing that we always talk about also. People don't have the capacity to lead. Like what is going on? Why is it that  , our leaders can't handle the job? Like you really, you have [00:17:00] one job to do and you're there to support.</p>
<p>Well, do your people, do you have one job? If you're in public service, if you're a politician, you're a public servant, right. Okay, go ahead. You're there to serve, but I feel like. It's just, everybody is in, , the mode of survival. So it's take care of your own, that's it?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:21] You know, where things get truly interesting.</p>
<p>Doesn't it let's talk about politicians,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:26] but before that, I just wanted to bring up the whole tantrum thing again. That's what I don't understand. , I'm noticing. So for example, with this person that I worked with habit Dan drum, right? I mean, For net for forever. Now she is imprinted herself as a toddler to me, and the respect is gone.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:17:51] Right. And that's a big one</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:17:54] because I, all of a sudden I had to put aside what I had to do. [00:18:00] , it wasn't a job. I'm learning something. Correct. So we're in a learning situation and there was no learning happening.</p>
<p>It was just phoning it in is, was awesome. Our perspective as the students, right. So it's still a business transaction. Right, right. You're paying a teacher they're supposed to help you. Right. Um, what was I saying? I totally forgot. Tantrum toddler. Well, yeah, forever. They've, they've lost my respect and there you have it and that's it.</p>
<p>And really it had to do with communication, but I could tell, I, I had to stop. I had to completely stop that relationship.  It's not that I stopped talking to them, but I had to stop looking at them as teachers. I had to start looking at them as wounded screaming, toddlers, that need help.</p>
<p>Right. [00:19:00] So I was no longer concerned about my questions being answered or what I needed to be done. To be taken care of, but now I'm like, wow, I can see her in pain. I can see that. You're frustrated. I can see that. So I'm going to try to erase that frustration for you. Don't worry about me. I'll figure it out.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:21] Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, no, no, no. You're what, what you're doing in essence is you're being a compassionate parent to this person.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:19:29] Forever. They are now imprinted as someone that is a screaming. Toddler.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:19:35] Right. And unfortunately, or fortunately, or unfortunately, and mostly, unfortunately I think you're going to take a look at this person.</p>
<p>Who's supposed to be teaching you things as I'm going to take whatever you're offering and run it through my filters and try and understand it. But if I come back to you with a question that's off topic or a question that's going to be challenging, I'm going to [00:20:00] expect perhaps for you to respond the same way, which really kind of hinders that learning process.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:04] And by the way, the question I was asking was totally in sync with what we were supposed to learn.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:20:11] Well, and that that's the fun part is you absolutely believe that. And obviously this person feels differently about it somehow. So, yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:20:19] And you know, that's where the communication comes in because they could have said.</p>
<p>I can't answer that, but they didn't say that. They said, well, I answered that when you get to it, when you're ready. Right. Anyway, I don't want to get into the nitty gritty of it. But what I want to say is it's just interesting. This is all within the realm of what I was saying, that we are creating each other, every relationship, every interaction that we have, right.</p>
<p>We are creating something. With each other, we are creating each other. And what is it that we're creating?  Do they know that they're creating that from our perspective that [00:21:00] they're now children and no longer authorities or leaders, they're no longer a leader? Well, it's because you're not able to be like, I, I always say.</p>
<p>And it's going back to the other thing we talk about, which is be a good host in the world. The world is your home. And even the strangers that you come in contact with on the street, you were just walking by that person, is your guest, make them comfortable in your home. Right. And if everyone did that, it would be a different kind of thing.</p>
<p>Very</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:21:31] much so. No, no, no. And again, absolutely. Right. I mean, on some level now this. Instructor becomes like a YouTube video that, , you watch and you're like, Hmm, that's interesting. Thank you. And maybe it helps you and maybe it doesn't, but at the end of the day, you've lost a certain essence. So, yeah.</p>
<p>So I wanna like, I want to gently steer us now. Um, yeah. I want to talk about,  something that I've come into contact with, which has been, I was in an interview and [00:22:00] somebody threw these two words at me and I was like, what the heck is this? And the tours were. Servant leader. Ooh, what does that mean? And this is where w we, it's almost like we have to walk through, we're walking through a swamp now because it's a tricky, it's a tricky, tricky thing, because once you start adopting a certain leadership philosophy or whatever, I mean, you really, on some level, it needs to imprint on your soul.</p>
<p> You really have to believe it. Like everybody wants to say, Ooh, I'm a transformative leader. Well, what does that mean? What does that not mean? What does it mean to be a servant leader? What does it not mean to be a servant leader and unfortunately, or fortunately the servant leader, a lot of people have glommed onto it and a lot of people have tacked on literary figures, historical figures to it.</p>
<p>And, , at the end of the day, I think , it is [00:23:00] what you choose to make it. So saying the original servant leader was Jesus Christ. Well, okay, fine. But if I'm Jewish, if I'm Muslim, if I'm Hindu, does that divorce me from it? Does that make me feel weird about it? The fact that people have said that, um, Dr.</p>
<p>Martin Luther King Jr. Espouse this philosophy, the fact that people have said, Oh, my favorite author, Herman, Hesse, or sod, depending on who you want to talk about it, the guy who wrote Siddhartha, the guy who wrote a Magister loony, he alluded to the whole concept of, of a servant leader in one of his books, the journey to the East, which he wrote right after Siddhartha.</p>
<p>But that's beside the point. And basically the philosophy comes from the fact that, , as you ascend the quote unquote hierarchy inside of a business or a, you know, institution of some kind that you become more and more responsible to the people under [00:24:00] you. It's not about gratifying your ego. It's not even about serving your clients, which wow.</p>
<p>That sounds more than a little counter. It's about serving the people who report to you and putting those people ahead. People first very important concept and also to collaborate with them compassionately. So people come to a leader, quote, unquote leader, and you can be a leader, even if you're a quote unquote team member leadership has nothing whatsoever to do with your official look at a senior manager in charge of TPS reports.</p>
<p>No, a leader is just somebody that people know are going to help them. It's a pretty simple thought. Help them. So it's about when somebody comes to me with a problem, not making them feel stupid because the [00:25:00] instant, I make them feel stupid. They're gone and they should be, I have no interest in talking to somebody who's going to be like, you don't know that, Oh my God.</p>
<p>Or having a tantrum on me,  basically, you've lost your leadership as far as I'm concerned, which is kind of a scary world because if you're a teacher, but not a leader because. Theoretically a teacher should be leading a discussion should be leading people towards knowledge, as soon as you lose that, it's really, you can't get it back.</p>
<p>First of all, I don't feel. And secondly, , people are going to try and go around. You circumvent you and you're in a very unhealthy kind of situation.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:25:39] Okay. So I'm gonna play devil's advocate. Oh dear. I. I'm thinking about it. And I think you can get it back, but if you keep on with that same tantrum, if you keep on with your rigid view, if you're not flexible, no, there's no way you're going to get that leadership back.</p>
<p>Never. And</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:25:59] the reason why I said, [00:26:00] yeah, never get it back is because that's the rule, not the exception. That is the rule and everybody feels, they are the exception. Yes, you can certainly get it back, but. You gotta do something. You gotta dig deep. That's</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:26:14] what I was going to say. That's what I was gonna say.</p>
<p>You can't stay in that same spot in, in no matter what you've done, staying with the conviction that you are in the right. As soon as this person that I'm talking about came back with a lashing. I immediately, you know, this is how I've always been because I grew up with a messed up family. I was always trying to figure out their point of view, like, why are they doing this right?</p>
<p>Why are they saying this? What have I done?  That's the first place I'll always go to. Right. so I went there again, I'm like, wow. So I understood her perspective completely. But in the end, it was still not okay. Like that was not warranted. That, that lashing that she sent my way,  it was [00:27:00] way out of line.</p>
<p>But what I'm saying is it happens everyone's human to be leader. You have to be human, but so one of our favorite shows is Ted lasso.  Remember when Ted. All of a sudden unleashed the fury, the fury, and happy on poor Nate, Nate, the great, like, so here's a Ted lasso character.</p>
<p>Who's  the most positive person.  He's a, he's a great coach. He's a great leader.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:27:29] Fish out of water. He's in England, he's coaching quote, unquote soccer or proper football. And he was a football coach, like foot, foot Gridiron football coach in Kansas. And he's now in England figuring</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:27:41] stuff out, but what a wonderful leader he is, and he never loses his cool except when he does, but he did.</p>
<p>Right. And you can say, okay, that's it, man. If I was that Nate character at being like F you Ted lasso. [00:28:00] But first of all, that other character was very special and like angelic. So yeah, exactly. So he wouldn't have, he didn't let that get to him. He understood, wow. Ted's going through something. Right. So he was very understanding.</p>
<p>Right, right. He stepped back. But what did Ted do the next day? He came back and he apologized, , he admitted that he was not in the right place. Right. And that perhaps he not perhaps, but he didn't, he didn't use what, what's the word for it? He didn't have the right way to, he didn't double</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:28:33] down on his</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:28:34] Idiocracy.</p>
<p>Right, right. He was flexible. He realized. He hurt somebody with his words, with his, not even his words, but his fury just like his face was like a different person. He just roared total animosity at poor this other guy. But you see, he turned it around. Right. And because he was human, [00:29:00] the other person was able to see he's human.</p>
<p>That's okay. And he's still the leader. He's still someone I respect, especially because he just admitted to a wrong,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:13] yes. But again, I feel that's more the exception that proves the rule. I think that typically leaders like to double down because unfortunately, or fortunately, or unfortunately the last, not the last, but one of the principles of servant leadership is that you are the moral authority.</p>
<p>So, you know, what's right. Wow. That seems a little too arrogant for me. That's yeah, yeah. That's too much.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:29:36] Yeah, no, no, that, that needs, that's an outdated definition of what a leader should be, because we all have the moral authority. We all have something amazing to offer,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:29:48] but by the same token, there have been moments in my career where I have talked to somebody who.</p>
<p>Set me properly on the morals of the company or the organization I was [00:30:00] working for, because I remember I was working on a system and I was like, yeah, but if I have access to the system, then I can do bad things. And, wow. So I was talking to my bosses boss, cause it seems like I always tend to talk to my bosses boss, but anyways, smacked me basically psychically and said we don't hire people like that here.</p>
<p>And on some level you can say, wow, dude, naive by the same token. I mean, he's, he's basically saying I'm we, , when you work here, you understand that you have this level of trust that you should not abuse. And if we hire somebody who does abuse that trust they're done and, , We're   going to do what we can to ensure that we don't hire people like that.</p>
<p>So I'm not going to immediately say you can't do this, or it has to pass through some kind of official, no, because this was an emergency system. And so things needed to go quickly as opposed to, but</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:30:55] that's beside the, but this is what I'm talking about. When I say you have to [00:31:00] be a parental figure because a parent needs to be stern.</p>
<p>If you tell your child, Hey, don't touch that stove. It will burn you. You have to be very firm about that, make sure that they are aware of that. There's no wavering here, but if I, as a parent have a bad day and I unleash horrible fury where it's not warranted at all, even if it is warranted, he shouldn't do that.</p>
<p>We should find another way to communicate, but I am human. So I immediately have to re. Redirect myself and come back and say, what I did was wrong. Please forgive me. Right. Okay. And that's what I'm saying. Okay. There's a difference between teaching, like this is the proper way do not touch the stove, do not steal, do not, do not do bad things with the code as, and then having.</p>
<p>Having a [00:32:00] tough time and coming back and throwing your coffee at somebody. Do you know what I mean? That's what I'm talking. I'm talking about being human and it works not in, not just in business, but throughout all relationships, friendships. This is what is key. You cannot be rigid. We have to realize everybody is an authority in some way, and we are here collaborating.</p>
<p>That's why I was saying.  We're creating each other , it's a, it's a flow. Do you know what I'm saying? No, no, no. I</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:32:30] completely understand. Again, back to compassionate collaborators, that's what a servant leader is supposed to aspire to. So they're not, I'm the expert on a hundred percent of things, but I am, I may be understand what the end goal is, and I need to make sure that I communicate that cause again, communication.</p>
<p>So always, always going to be probably biggest indicator of success for any host leader. And you can sometimes use these [00:33:00] terms interchangeably,  it's about the flexibility and the understanding and the, and the compassion when you're going through even your communications, but certainly when you're actually,  collaborating with</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:33:09] someone.</p>
<p>And I think when compassion is left out, you no longer have leadership, you have a despit, correct? Yes. I mean, think about, um, if there's a disaster and a state and a leader suddenly decides to take time off, to get, to get away from things that would never happen. There is no compassion. Like I would not, that's not a leader to me.</p>
<p>I need someone to understand the situation of the people, right. So if you're an army leader, who's never, you know, I've never been in the army. So I don't know, but I can only imagine you have to be a really good leader. You know what it's like to be out in the trenches. Right. How can you [00:34:00] possibly lead properly if you don't know what that feels like, if you don't know all the elements that are involved in that, or what's another example besides war, but like, remember a long time ago, there was a show undercover boss</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:34:15] and they might still be</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:34:15] on actually, they were talking about this.</p>
<p>There was this one show. Uh, the boss was, , the head of sanitation or something and. He wasn't he or she went undercover and they were driving the truck to pick up trash. And the person, the boss couldn't figure out why all of a sudden, , one of the people would disappear every now and then and hide behind the truck or do something.</p>
<p>And so they, the boss, like who was in Cognito asked, and it turned out that this person had to pee inside of a water bottle. So never did the leader of the company realize, wow, this [00:35:00] person performing this job all day does not have a bathroom to go to, right. Something so necessary and basic for human survival.</p>
<p>Right. Is that a good leader? I mean, obviously he put himself in that he or she put himself in that situation to understand things that he may not know about, or she may not know about, but really, or yeah. I mean, there are so many examples of this when you're absolutely right. , it feels like when you are not the leader, you tend to have more compassion and more sensitivity because you're exposed to so much information.</p>
<p> , so many of the necessities that are needing to be in place, those, those are what make great leaders coming from that. And having that empathy, that compassion for people and their survival.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:35:53] Right? No, no, no, no, no argument whatsoever. And to take us back to Ted lasso for a second, what's like [00:36:00] literally like the second thing he did, he suggestion box.</p>
<p>He fixed the water pressure. No, he put down the suggestion box. Right. Right. And even though he got tons of abuse because obviously he's Yankee doodle and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But ultimately speaking, he went through, he ignored all the insults and he, he, he passed that one off and he said, there's something we need to feel.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:22] Yeah. 99% was insults.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:36:25] Right. And those just bounced off. And because that's what you, unfortunately you have to do because as a leader,  sometimes you're not well-liked, but he also said, okay, I don't know what you say by even implementing a suggestion box is there's a lot, I don't know. And I'm going to provide a forum for people to tell me.</p>
<p>And at the internet has taught us anything it's anonymous, as you know, can be good. And, , he implemented that and  that showed again leadership and that showed that, , he wasn't afraid to admit that there were things he didn't know,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:36:59] you know, another [00:37:00] great key was he didn't take her personally.</p>
<p>Obviously there was a lot of skew in that. Let's just use that as an example, on that football team, there was a lot that was wrong. There was a lot of weird abuses going on and there was a lot of, , inconsiderate things happening at all times. So for him to get a 99%, , insults in the suggestion box was just an example of.</p>
<p>The air, , the sense of being that just existed within that culture.  For them to say, when going co-anchor, Rinker Winker careful, constantly. Right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:37:39] Right. I apologize to our British listeners. It's</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:37:43] from the show. I know, but still, but for them to her all kinds of insults it, it's just indicative of the, kind of.</p>
<p>Feeling of that culture that existed, but he didn't take a personally, right? He didn't, he just like moving on [00:38:00] and not just, well, I'm sorry, but I'm a great lover of TV and movies, but another great example is Elle woods from legally blonde. Here we go. I mean, talk about all kinds of insults being thrown at her, but like looking at that, the brilliance of this movie and the character was he could see her kind of like.</p>
<p>Like as if someone's bringing a tiny little cute little belt, she would sh shrug it off and continue</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:38:27] on. Well, again, I think that they both embody what I consider the pop-up principle, which is I am who I am. , I think that they both have that strength of character in that they know who they are.</p>
<p> If you know that you are strong and you know that you are fit and you know that you were beautiful, if somebody calls you ugly, you're like, wow, I guess you're having a bad day, dude. You know what I mean? I mean, it's, it makes it easier once you come to grips with exactly who you are</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:38:55] and knowing that when people are hurling, insults and [00:39:00] tantrums, It's really all about them and their pain, right.</p>
<p>Has nothing to do with you. But for some reason you may be a good target for them. Well, because maybe because you do have that leadership within yourself that, that compassion, that empathy. you may feel like a mother to them so they could have their toddler tantrum,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:39:21] right? Well, yes, but sometimes you instigate that tantrum.</p>
<p>I'm remembering an incident. Are you saying you, as in me, I'm saying that I'm saying you as in me, actually I can remember an incident where. We were going through, we were reviewing code blah, blah, blah. That means I'm looking very deeply at what's going on and I'm asking questions and I'm trying to get to the root of something.</p>
<p>And another developer was presenting and he was a father and he was older than me and dah, dah, dah, dah, right. Theoretically more mature. And he just, at one point I was like, so is this what's happening? And he got. And he had a tantrum right in front of me. And because of what I said, because [00:40:00] I think what he wanted to hear was brilliant code.</p>
<p>You're a good guy. That's like your</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:05] fault. That was not your, again. That was not you instigating. I know you were not the instigator pulled it out of him. No, you didn't.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:14] Babe. If nobody would've said</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:15] anything, you wouldn't have had, someone would have said something or a pin might've dropped and he would have lost his brick and that as possible, you cannot blame that on me.</p>
<p>You sound blaming</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:40:25] myself for it. But I am saying that I do instigate something. Yeah.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:40:28] That's what I'm saying. That was not you instigating, unless you said, yo, you suck and you did not say that. No. What people have to understand is no that you were not instigating this. It would have happened either way.</p>
<p>All right. If it wasn't you, it could have been his wife or his partner, whatever it could have been his dog, it could have been some person on the road driving, you know, it will have gotten unleashed in some other ways [00:41:00] what I'm saying, and that brings us back to capacity. When someone is full, they have no longer the ability to hold something which means understand something to have empathy.</p>
<p>There is no room for empathy that that will result in a tantrum or disease. Like they have a heart attack because it's just building up. Do you understand? Yes, you are not the instigator.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:28] It's not like I'm holding on to this.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:29] I'm just saying, I'm just talking for our friends out there too. And for myself,</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:34] you know, hammering home in a woman.</p>
<p>No,</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:41:36] because I mean, that's totally, no, we cannot assume the responsibility for someone's tantrums. If someone is having a tantrum because they're in pain, it has nothing to do with you. And I want people to understand that in a way I'm also repeating it for myself to remember that.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:41:56] Right. Well, no, it's, it's certainly, you know, [00:42:00] people have just a plethora of options to respond to whatever it is I say to them.</p>
<p>And sometimes, , once in a blue moon, somebody reacts in the worst possible</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:42:09] way. Remember what, okay. All great martial artists say this, but also since they chicken legs would say it. That. Hey, he was, he was decent come. I just said, I just said, Mark, great martial artists say this, including some chicken colluding.</p>
<p>I thought you said. And Oh, maybe I did. I don't know. Okay. So he was still great. All right. But since I chicken legs would always say that the best moves are the easiest moves, right? When you're lazy, I'm lazy. So when you're tired, when your muscles are exhausted, you just. You do things better in a way you're more flexible.</p>
<p>You're more able to, you're more apt to go with the flow. Correct? That is tough. How else would you describe  all right. So I'm thinking of really old people [00:43:00] and they tend to have more patients. Why is that? Maybe because they're fricking tired. Do you know what I mean? And they can surpass all that BS and say, this is some ridiculousness.</p>
<p>I'm not going to participate, but this is what's up. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, no, no, no, I get it. Yeah. So to come to that state of laziness about it, that laziness, like, I don't care about you. I'm not going to do anything laziness as in martial arts aspect of laziness and that you're not going to engage with.</p>
<p>Coming back with the same force or if not a bigger forest combat, right. It's not about combat, it's about a flow. And it's about that. Engaging in that. I really want to say the bad word, but not engaging in the messed up stuff. Right. It's about. What's the common thing in Ikea. We did, when someone's attacking you, we let them go on their [00:44:00] way.</p>
<p>If they really want to go this way, please help them, allow them to keep going that way. And sometimes even faster. Can you explain that? I'm not saying it right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:44:09] Uh quote-unquote and I Quito teaches us all attacks a or circles and B. They always have a direction, usually it's at your face, but whatever. So if somebody is moving towards your, if somebody is moving with a fist towards your chin, The worst thing you can do is stop that motion from happening.</p>
<p>You certainly aren't going to let him hit you on the chin, but on some level, by the time they realized that their emotion was at your chin, which in point of fact, motion being circular, it's probably still, it's probably going, you can extend it up or you can extend it down probably up in that case. By the time they realize that they haven't connected with your chin, their hand is maybe behind their back and they're on the ground.</p>
<p>Right, because you haven't said I'm stopping you from doing anything. What you've said is I'm going to let you do this to the [00:45:00] absurd extreme, which is going to end up with you on your</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:03] butt. And without you being in the way is the obstacle. Right?</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:07] Right. I am not going to hinder that motion. I'm going to extend that motion.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:13] So another example would be someone is coming at you with. A fist up punch. You're not going to take your fist and meet their punch with a punch. It will result in an explosion. And both of you getting hurt. Definitely. One of you getting hurt. So what you're going to do is you're  stepping to the side a little bit and meeting that punch and letting that person keep going in that direction.</p>
<p>But you're not opposing them. You're on their side. You're by them, your shoulder. So shoulder with them.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:45:48] And that's that's that absolutely is one way of doing it for</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:45:51] sure. So you're guiding them, right? They're not going to destroy you with their blow by you're going, you're now the guide for [00:46:00] them.</p>
<p>And that's what I'm saying about leadership, It's all about you being the guide.  If someone is throwing a tantrum at you. To be a really good leader. You have to be a good mother and a good father and put your stuff aside. Not take anything personally, because this tantrum is happening. Just think about it.</p>
<p>If there's a dirty diaper and they're screaming happening, are you going to take that personally? Like I instigated that poop to come. No, the person has poop. And they need a</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:46:34] change, right? No, no, no, absolutely. Right. And,  taking it to that level when the person is perhaps acting that infant, that with so much infantile , there's no good word.</p>
<p>I can't find it.  In those cases, yes. You have to be more than just a servant leader on some level, you have to be the parent. Right. And I would say you're absolutely right in saying a servant leader does [00:47:00] indeed have to bring people back to center, but a parent has to do it even more if you will.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:47:06] Yeah. You have to, you have to find a way to have the capacity enough to be caring enough, to not take it personally and help them. Right. Which now makes me think of this person I told you about. And I said, okay, I'm done with them. Do I care enough to allow for something to develop? Right. Or am I totally done?</p>
<p>And I, now I don't want to say the word, but, um, you know, what do I say? Am I done with this person</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:47:38] completely. Right. And that, that can be a tough thing, particularly in the friendship arena when somebody says something. So, you know, everybody has, I always, like, I was like to describe the fact that it doesn't matter how long you've been at a job, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.</p>
<p>There are 10 words you can string together. God knows what they are. And maybe it's 20, maybe it's a [00:48:00] hundred, but it doesn't matter. There's a series of words you could string together that would get you fired. In the same way inside of a friendship, there are 10 or a hundred words that you can string together that will end that friendship.</p>
<p>Right. You know, odds are, and, you know, uh, again, speaking about rules and not exceptions, cause I'm sure, but he'll be like, but my best friend who knows, maybe you've got something so utterly beyond special, but there are things you can say. , and it's about, , has that person said those 10 or a hundred words, or can you be big enough to ignore or move past that attack?</p>
<p>And, , sometimes the answer has to be sadly, no, just to keep the integrity of yourself, if they so invalidate you that, , If they so invalidate, they strip you all the way down. Like I talk about how, , I consider my personality like an onion. If they cut all the way to the heart of the onion, can you [00:49:00] all the way in, can you let that go?</p>
<p>And for me it's no, but that's me. I'm, you know, I'm, maybe I'm a fool. Maybe I'm an ass, but you know, on some level I have to keep that sense of self.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:14] And, you know, this is, this is our perspective and it's not the end all be all. Like, I really wish we had, whoever wrote Ted lasso that character. I want to talk to them because I feel you, how would a Ted lasso deal with</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:49:31] it?</p>
<p>Right. Like cutting. So in, in, in, and, , they have the luxury of saying, well, yeah, but this is just a character and I can control who, what people say to him and, and what happens to him. And I can show him in the light. I want to show him in. Cause you know what, everybody has a terrible, and</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:49:51] that's the brilliance of that character as they show him in the terrible day, terrible situations.</p>
<p>Right. But he's still. [00:50:00] Is an exceptional human being he'll break down, but wow. He's still, I mean, I haven't seen the whole series yet, but you have, I really okay. Let's can we find whoever wrote that and talk to them because seriously, you and I, I think we have had enough Hertz where we're like, Hey, if you're going to reach this part of the onion, you're dead to me.</p>
<p>But. With Ted lasso. Say that right.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:28] Great question.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:29] This is just our perspective. I wonder what, what it is out there. Let us know guys, do you have anything else you want to say? Wow.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:50:40] It feels like we've kind of covered. It feels like we, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm looking at my notes. It feels like we've kind of covered</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:50:46] everything.</p>
<p>It's just that whatever we end the show, you always say to me, Oh, you didn't tell, let me talk about this. I was going to wind it down and say, all right guys, you listening. I would love to, we would love to know your thoughts [00:51:00] because I mean, this is just our perspective. What's yours. If someone gets to the heart of the onion, Oh, are you done?</p>
<p>Should you be done? Should you, would you, would you want to be</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:51:11] done? Can you look at yourself in the mirror? If you say you're not done and on and on and on, this is, wow. This is intense. And I, you know, for me, I am not Jesus, the Christ. I am not, you know, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I'm not, you know, everybody has that moment.</p>
<p>I think, but that's me. And am I projecting? It's kind of fun.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:51:38] All right. Well, let us know. Can we wind it up? We can wind it up. All right. Reach out to us, our friendly world.com and thank you to all our wonderful listeners. We're so grateful. We're really starting to pop around the world and I'm just in all of you.</p>
<p>Thank you for listening to us. Please [00:52:00] send us notes and</p>
<p><strong>Matt: </strong>[00:52:02] rate our podcast. Yeah. Can you</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>[00:52:04] please, um, leave five stars? Can I say it? Am I allowed to say anywhere between no, no, please. Maximum number of stars. Can you please? No. Well, what we're really trying to do is start a movement where we create a compassionate world through friendship, and there are other things that we're working on right.</p>
<p>As we speak. So. There are big things that we're working on and we want to work on it on a global sense too, to make this world more compassionate and to develop friendships. True, true friendships. So once again, you know, our website, our friendly world.com, please rate us kindly and, , leave us a review.</p>
<p>Reach out to us because we need friends too.  Do you want to add anything by, by what? Well, we're [00:53:00] here. We never have an off, uh, we never go off. We are always having a show every week, a new show every week. That's our commitment. We will, if someday we ever get to have a vacation, we'll still record.</p>
<p>We'll still have a show during the vacation, right, babe? Yes. As we love this, we love collecting. All right. We'll talk to you in a few days. Have a beautiful every day. Talk to you later. Be well bye-bye bye.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Episode 36  The Imprint - We Are Creating  Each Other
Side note: At the end of this show, Matt grapples with something he caught himself saying about friendship that really bothered him. So we will have to explore a second half of this topic by bringing an expert on, for another show to remedy things.
Pearl of wisdom from Bruno’s in Santa Monica – an entity/ parental/protective figure that helps raise the children.
This episode is about leadership. Matt explains the concept of servant/leader.
We discuss true leadership and what that truly is.
We discuss tantrums.
In all aspects of life and culture, we are here to take care of each other. We are creating each other. Creativity - creative energies are brewing and are very strong.  I always think about collaboration and creativity; the way we influence each other in conversation, our experience with one another and how they create an imprint; I can be imprinted by your behavior. My behavior could be imprinted on you.  Your behavior towards me can create and impression of you that will be forever imprinted.  It happens in relationships, in business, with leadership, with friendship; all of the ships.      
#leader #ittakesavillage #parenthood #friendship #leadership, #business #tantrums #servant #servantleader #despit  #compassion #undercoverboss #tedlasso #ellewoods #legallyblonde #aikido
 
Transcript
[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Good morning. Hello? Oh,
Matt: [00:00:05] you're gonna have to cut out that first one second. I said evening
Fawn: [00:00:08] and now I'm not cutting anything. Oh, dear. How are you guys? Welcome to our friendly world. This is fun. How are you doing? What do you love to,
Matt: [00:00:19] what'd you doing? Oh man. I'm feeling energized today. You're in trouble.
Fawn: [00:00:23] I, I was, I know, you know what?
I, I woke up feeling like I was in trouble. My mind is really preoccupied. I feel not so light in the head, like too many thoughts, too many. Responsibilities too many wants and desires and too many frustrations in my head right now.
Matt: [00:00:44] I've been there, but feeling like laser-focused, I'm
Fawn: [00:00:48] glad. Okay. I will start with a Pearl of wisdom, Pearl of wisdom, because I usually start by saying it's a nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica.
This one is a [00:01:00] Pearl because it has to do with. Transcending time and being a parent, being a grandparent or not that you're a grandparent or parent per se, but  it's the feeling, it's the responsibility aspect of it. It's the aspect of taking care of someone regardless of your age and taking care of them as far as emotional goes.
, if you guys have listened to the very, very first it's called the mentor, the mentor is me talking about my mentor and that's the city of Santa Monica. When I was a kid, Santa Monica was always around. I had no idea I was being influenced by this entity. And by the time I was 16, 17.
Most of my friends were out of high school. They were in their twenties, they were working professionals. I worked with them and the people that I worked with had other friends. So we all became friends and I was the youngest one in the group. Gotcha. [00:02:00] And one friend was, this was before gay marriage, but they were kind of married.
They were together,  to two men in their twenties. , beautiful people and so loving to me. And they really took me under their wing. And because I was having so many problems with my family and there were, there was so much, I was, there was so much I was working on, I was working on my portfolio trying to figure out how to make it as a professional photographer, even back then, as a kid.
And they helped me out when th...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:58:19</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[A Kind World with special guest Barry Lane]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Apr 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/a-kind-world-with-special-guest-barry-lane</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/a-kind-world-with-special-guest-barry-lane</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This episode, we are visiting with our lovely and talented friend who travels around the country teaching kindness to school children (and people of all ages, really). He is a phenomenally kind, beautiful human being, writer, publisher, musician, husband, father, great friend, Barry Lane!</p>
<p>This episode will calm your senses and make you feel way better about the world! Barry even sings to us! And we discuss the way of kindness. Enjoy this very important episode. </p>
<p>to contact us: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com">www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com</a> or www.ourfriendlyworld.com</p>
<p>To contact Barry: <a href="http://www.forcefieldforgood.com">www.forcefieldforgood.com</a></p>
<p>If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript: Episode 36 -  A Kind World with Barry Lane</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Track 1: </strong>[00:00:00] And Matt, we're an interracial couple with two kids wanting to do something that highlights the power of friendship and what it means to be in the company of true friends. We're going to move our society away and out of the loneliness epidemic and into a friendlier, happier world. Welcome to our friendly world.</p>
<p>Better, stronger together,</p>
<p>guys, listen to this. Barry Barry, will you lead us in please? Sure.</p>
<p>[00:01:00] no worries. No more fears, something new between the years someone hits you. Turn your cheek. The word peak is the day.</p>
<p>The new day now is you can judge me by my skin kick in time to look within treat you the truth is on the track, but no one talks behind your back is now is the new day. Now is</p>
<p>the</p>
<p>day, both are weak [00:02:00] is a verdict. So there's the burden sings, but more love and much less much the world go up. Hurry. Cause now is.</p>
<p>Now is any day</p>
<p>now is the mixed fleet of one tree live in peace and unity at the old embrace a new</p>
<p>you, you.</p>
<p>Now is your day. How is the day now is a new day hungry people, scared. They don't know how much we can feast the sun soak up. It's raised it's time to find a [00:03:00] better week because.</p>
<p>Now is the new game that the day now is done.</p>
<p>That is the perfect introduction for today. Everyone I'd like to introduce you. To our new friend Barry lane, you can find barryLane@forcefieldforgood.com where he sings and teaches kindness. And that is the subject for today. Barry is an amazing writer, musician. Publisher. Amazing human being were so fortunate to become friends with him.</p>
<p>Welcome to our friendly world, Barry. Welcome. Oh, thank you. It's so great to be here. I feel [00:04:00] really at home. You are at home. You're literally in our home, in our kitchen virtually, ironically, you're in your home. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so happy. You're here. I wanted to talk about kindness today and I looked up the roots of what kindness is.</p>
<p>I have some definitions that I've found. So check this out. Kindness. It's from the old English word. How would you pronounce that? Matt? Jacob and Jason is G E C Y N. The means kind nature, race related to kin. Family it's from the prodo Germanic. Coon does, is that how I would pronounce that map? What do you think?</p>
<p>Which means family race from PI roots? Jen, Jean, I'm sorry guys. I can't pronounce [00:05:00] things. English is not my first language. Either give birth begets with derivatives, referring to procreation and familial and tribal groups. Here's the other definition. It comes from the old, this is the etymology of kindness.</p>
<p>It comes from the old English and is constructed from the adjective kind. And the suffix ness kind comes from the middle English, kin old English. How do you pronounce that? And I was like genocide. She, and it meant it meant friendly. Well, disposed tender ness is announced suffix middle English ness and is used...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode, we are visiting with our lovely and talented friend who travels around the country teaching kindness to school children (and people of all ages, really). He is a phenomenally kind, beautiful human being, writer, publisher, musician, husband, father, great friend, Barry Lane!
This episode will calm your senses and make you feel way better about the world! Barry even sings to us! And we discuss the way of kindness. Enjoy this very important episode. 
to contact us: www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com or www.ourfriendlyworld.com
To contact Barry: www.forcefieldforgood.com
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
Transcript: Episode 36 -  A Kind World with Barry Lane
[00:00:00] Track 1: [00:00:00] And Matt, we're an interracial couple with two kids wanting to do something that highlights the power of friendship and what it means to be in the company of true friends. We're going to move our society away and out of the loneliness epidemic and into a friendlier, happier world. Welcome to our friendly world.
Better, stronger together,
guys, listen to this. Barry Barry, will you lead us in please? Sure.
[00:01:00] no worries. No more fears, something new between the years someone hits you. Turn your cheek. The word peak is the day.
The new day now is you can judge me by my skin kick in time to look within treat you the truth is on the track, but no one talks behind your back is now is the new day. Now is
the
day, both are weak [00:02:00] is a verdict. So there's the burden sings, but more love and much less much the world go up. Hurry. Cause now is.
Now is any day
now is the mixed fleet of one tree live in peace and unity at the old embrace a new
you, you.
Now is your day. How is the day now is a new day hungry people, scared. They don't know how much we can feast the sun soak up. It's raised it's time to find a [00:03:00] better week because.
Now is the new game that the day now is done.
That is the perfect introduction for today. Everyone I'd like to introduce you. To our new friend Barry lane, you can find barryLane@forcefieldforgood.com where he sings and teaches kindness. And that is the subject for today. Barry is an amazing writer, musician. Publisher. Amazing human being were so fortunate to become friends with him.
Welcome to our friendly world, Barry. Welcome. Oh, thank you. It's so great to be here. I feel [00:04:00] really at home. You are at home. You're literally in our home, in our kitchen virtually, ironically, you're in your home. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so happy. You're here. I wanted to talk about kindness today and I looked up the roots of what kindness is.
I have some definitions that I've found. So check this out. Kindness. It's from the old English word. How would you pronounce that? Matt? Jacob and Jason is G E C Y N. The means kind nature, race related to kin. Family it's from the prodo Germanic. Coon does, is that how I would pronounce that map? What do you think?
Which means family race from PI roots? Jen, Jean, I'm sorry guys. I can't pronounce [00:05:00] things. English is not my first language. Either give birth begets with derivatives, referring to procreation and familial and tribal groups. Here's the other definition. It comes from the old, this is the etymology of kindness.
It comes from the old English and is constructed from the adjective kind. And the suffix ness kind comes from the middle English, kin old English. How do you pronounce that? And I was like genocide. She, and it meant it meant friendly. Well, disposed tender ness is announced suffix middle English ness and is used...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[A Kind World with special guest Barry Lane]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>35</itunes:episode>
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                    <![CDATA[<p>This episode, we are visiting with our lovely and talented friend who travels around the country teaching kindness to school children (and people of all ages, really). He is a phenomenally kind, beautiful human being, writer, publisher, musician, husband, father, great friend, Barry Lane!</p>
<p>This episode will calm your senses and make you feel way better about the world! Barry even sings to us! And we discuss the way of kindness. Enjoy this very important episode. </p>
<p>to contact us: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com">www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com</a> or www.ourfriendlyworld.com</p>
<p>To contact Barry: <a href="http://www.forcefieldforgood.com">www.forcefieldforgood.com</a></p>
<p>If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)<br /> buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Transcript: Episode 36 -  A Kind World with Barry Lane</strong></p>
<p>[00:00:00] <strong>Track 1: </strong>[00:00:00] And Matt, we're an interracial couple with two kids wanting to do something that highlights the power of friendship and what it means to be in the company of true friends. We're going to move our society away and out of the loneliness epidemic and into a friendlier, happier world. Welcome to our friendly world.</p>
<p>Better, stronger together,</p>
<p>guys, listen to this. Barry Barry, will you lead us in please? Sure.</p>
<p>[00:01:00] no worries. No more fears, something new between the years someone hits you. Turn your cheek. The word peak is the day.</p>
<p>The new day now is you can judge me by my skin kick in time to look within treat you the truth is on the track, but no one talks behind your back is now is the new day. Now is</p>
<p>the</p>
<p>day, both are weak [00:02:00] is a verdict. So there's the burden sings, but more love and much less much the world go up. Hurry. Cause now is.</p>
<p>Now is any day</p>
<p>now is the mixed fleet of one tree live in peace and unity at the old embrace a new</p>
<p>you, you.</p>
<p>Now is your day. How is the day now is a new day hungry people, scared. They don't know how much we can feast the sun soak up. It's raised it's time to find a [00:03:00] better week because.</p>
<p>Now is the new game that the day now is done.</p>
<p>That is the perfect introduction for today. Everyone I'd like to introduce you. To our new friend Barry lane, you can find barryLane@forcefieldforgood.com where he sings and teaches kindness. And that is the subject for today. Barry is an amazing writer, musician. Publisher. Amazing human being were so fortunate to become friends with him.</p>
<p>Welcome to our friendly world, Barry. Welcome. Oh, thank you. It's so great to be here. I feel [00:04:00] really at home. You are at home. You're literally in our home, in our kitchen virtually, ironically, you're in your home. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so happy. You're here. I wanted to talk about kindness today and I looked up the roots of what kindness is.</p>
<p>I have some definitions that I've found. So check this out. Kindness. It's from the old English word. How would you pronounce that? Matt? Jacob and Jason is G E C Y N. The means kind nature, race related to kin. Family it's from the prodo Germanic. Coon does, is that how I would pronounce that map? What do you think?</p>
<p>Which means family race from PI roots? Jen, Jean, I'm sorry guys. I can't pronounce [00:05:00] things. English is not my first language. Either give birth begets with derivatives, referring to procreation and familial and tribal groups. Here's the other definition. It comes from the old, this is the etymology of kindness.</p>
<p>It comes from the old English and is constructed from the adjective kind. And the suffix ness kind comes from the middle English, kin old English. How do you pronounce that? And I was like genocide. She, and it meant it meant friendly. Well, disposed tender ness is announced suffix middle English ness and is used to denote a quality or state when attached to an adjective.</p>
<p>Right? So originally kindness, the old English man's nation. However, the meaning evolved during the 14th century to [00:06:00] mean noble deeds, courtesy. Quality or habit of being kind. It's interesting. It said nation, right? Yes. Don't we need that as well. Well, I think as just a citizen of the world, we need it.</p>
<p>Exactly. Thank you. That's really what I meant, Barry. Thank you. Because you are the leader of kindness. You are the ambassador of love. And kindness. We're so happy you're here. Thank you. Thank you. Where do we even start, Matt? I know let's. I'm sorry. I have a nugget now. It's not going to sound. It's not going to sound very kind, but bear with me back in Santa Monica nugget, nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica back in Santa Monica days.</p>
<p>I was a struggling artist. I had gotten off of a corporate job, as you all know, I've taught, I talk about it all the time and I was burnt out. So I started to serve coffee and I [00:07:00] lived for every dollar. Unfortunately, like I didn't have much money. So every dollar I made definitely went towards paying the bills.</p>
<p>I had no health insurance, none of that. I had a car. I had car insurance and on a good week, my budget would allow me $20 a food a week. Right. Like I had $20 to spend on food, but all the coffee you could drink. Right. Um, yeah, but I, wasn't not a coffee drinker. I still am not like one sip will make me the Sapper, but so one day, you know, Santa Monica is beautiful.</p>
<p>So everyone's trying to film there one day out of the blue. Our shift was our shift at the coffee shop was gone. We're like, what's happening. We're not working today. No one warned us that there would be a commercial photo shoot happening in the cafe. And so not only that, but the film crew came in and they towed all our cars.</p>
<p>[00:08:00] Um, now they had put signs up saying, Hey, we're going to shoot, but we didn't know where they were going to shoot, but you know, when they leave a sign there, you're not allowed to park there between those hours in the day, they say, but there was no sign where I parked my car. I can't believe I'm talking about us all over again.</p>
<p>Here we go. So what happened was they started shooting and it was directly underneath me. So my studio was directly on top of the coffee shop. Where they were doing the commercial shoot and you know, it's hardwood floors. And remember I told you guys, I can talk through the pipes, to my neighbors. So you hear everything right?</p>
<p>And so best believe they needed me to be quiet. Right. So what happened was I'm like, okay, I guess I'm not working today, which is a bummer because I really needed the 50 bucks I was going to make that day. And including that was including the tip. And so I walked to my car. My car is not there. Like, where is my car?</p>
<p>I started [00:09:00] to get panicky, like someone stole my car and I don't remember how, but I figured out they towed my car. So I walk all the way to city hall, which is down the street on main street, which is a walk. Right. Especially when you're nervous and you don't know, and you're just trying to run. I figured out that they had in fact towed my car.</p>
<p>I talked to the towing company. I don't know. How I figured that out, but I go to city hall. I'm like they towed my car. There was no sign, nothing. So they looked it up and they're like, and this is how like a tight knit community. It was, they're like fun. They're in the wrong. They did not. Your spot was not there.</p>
<p>Actually. They can get in big trouble. Your spot was not designated for towing. It was not. So you're on the right. So I go back. To my studio and they're shooting. And every time they said rolling, I would make a bunch of noise. I was fuming. I was so mad. I was so angry. I would stomp the floor. [00:10:00] I would hang out my window and there's the whole crew down there, you know, with all the mikes and all, everything that they have, all their gear and they would just ignore me, but they would have to start again because I made noise.</p>
<p>Right. I ruined their tape. I wrecked every take I could. And my friends started showing up because I was yelling so much and they were used to me always being very kind, right. I was always mellow and laughing and we played together all the time. They never saw me lose my temper. Until that day. And one of my friends later said, he's, he literally could.</p>
<p>And he was not, I mean, he was Catholic, so he was spiritual, but he was not like me, like, woo, woo. Spiritual, you know, like seeing auras and everything. He's like fun. I saw a red all around you. Like for real from the street I saw red around you. I'm like, yeah, you best believe I was angry. And so I was like telling the [00:11:00] director, you better pay for my toe.</p>
<p>I'm not paying $350. And that's re I can't, I can't, I don't have the money. And so all day, this went on and the, one of the managers of the building that I was friends with, he comes, he's like fun stop. I'm like, no, you stop. I want the, I need, this is ridiculous. So. This went on for hours until all of a sudden there are three people who show up in my studio and it was the, um, the assistants, the people who, who helped bring the coffees and, you know, the production assistance, right.</p>
<p>They showed up with a wad of cash and the most sincere look on their faces, like, and they said, we're so sorry for the behavior of our. Um, producer or a director, we're really sorry, please take this money. And I said, [00:12:00] thank you.</p>
<p>What does that have to do with kindness? Honestly? Sometimes we all need a little help. You know, I try to walk my talk, but I am human and I can lose it. If I'm in pain, I don't have the capacity. So do you to be kind to you when you've harmed me and. It's so great when we can give each other some Slack. So if you see someone in pain and perhaps you have less pain than they do, maybe you can step up and help them out with something that you can, if you look, you know, they clearly need.</p>
<p>So anyway, Pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica long about windy story, I hope that helps. I hope you will. Don't think less of me, but I can lose my temper. There you go. Okay. I'm done. Okay. Can I, can I tell a quick story? Okay. So [00:13:00] literally one of my favorite things to do or was, I suppose, was to go out for coffee and honestly, I'm very rude.</p>
<p>When I get coffee, I'm not very kind. You're a pointer. You're a close pointer pointer. God. And then I say stuff like, um, gimme, gimme, yes, give me a blah-blah-blah it's, you know, super grand day, blah, blah, blah. And every single time my wife smacks me just a little bit and says, honey, come on. Be kind. I'm like put you don't touch that.</p>
<p>You're too close to that donut. Like he'll put his finger all the way, almost like he's going to touch it. And as a germaphobe, even before the pandemic, I've always been like, Hey, this food shouldn't be out. Like it's in the. It's in the air. Like I don't like things need to be put away. And when people point and get, they get really close to something, it really freaks me out.</p>
<p>And, you know, traveling around the planet, you can always tell who the Americans are. You can always [00:14:00] tell us like you, we, we are like, it's just, they'll. They don't say, please. And thank you. Or may I, may I have, it's not your donut yet. Do you know? You have, until you pay for it. It's and it's in your hand, it's not yours and you don't say gimme.</p>
<p>Okay. Oh my God. I know. And honestly, that's one of the, that's one of the million things that I'm working on.</p>
<p>Okay. That's it. And actually there's, there's a coffee place was a coffee place where they actually recognize me. They could never remember my name, but they always recognize me because I was so Oh, nice. Really good job, honey. I try. But anyways, we're ignoring our guests Arland. I'm sorry. We're rude. I'm enjoying the conversation.</p>
<p>Thinking about things. We don't know. You have any stories of, uh, uh, kindness or unkindness as the case may be buried. Well, I'm just, I think just splits last week. Um, I had a [00:15:00] situation. I, I I've been delivering pies now. It's the first job I've had in 30 years. I actually worked for myself and, uh, it's really fun to be part of the workforce again, but, and I go to supermarkets and supermarkets can be very, um, They look all shiny and nice in the front, but in the back, they're like little dungeon and people work in there and I have all these I'm sure I'm going to write.</p>
<p>I'm the PI guy. I call myself the PI guy, you know, like I am the walrus. Supermarkets with these pies. And, um, the best supermarkets are the independently owned ones because you just walk good. Say, Hey, how are you? Oh, great. We're waiting for her. We love her. They signed the thing. But the fancy supermarkets, the ones that are owned by corporations.</p>
<p>They have these little guns and they have to beep in every pie and there's people called receivers and they can be, it's a very difficult job because [00:16:00] you imagine like three or four pallets of Pepsi coming in and. All these liquor bottles, and then this guy comes in with three and you have to stop what you're doing and go, okay.</p>
<p>Yeah. I'm going to say very difficult job. And I can think of one situation where there was this woman. And I had talked to her. Her name was Patty. I had talked to her like a month or two ago, just briefly. And she had told me she was going to have an operation on her. Needs. And you know how the car, when you get old, the cartilage sometimes goes into your knees and creases, great pain is like going on bone.</p>
<p>And she had to have a job in the dungeon doing that, where you have to walk to the door to let Liz or anything. They don't just have a door that you can walk in. A lot of times they have to be locked though with time. So it's like. The port call us, has the rays for the guy to come in with a one to Brad, you know?</p>
<p>Right. It's like, um, so she has to walk all the way over and back and we already do, and I got there and it's a grind. Sometimes I love the job. I [00:17:00] just listened to books all day, but I try to stop and connect and then I thought I should be connecting with people. I just had that thought, that little thought in your mind.</p>
<p>And I remembered, she had told me. Like weeks ago, just in passing that it was hard for her to get to the door because of her knees. And so I said, Patty, how when's the operation happened? Just like that. And I think she, um, she started almost crying and talked to me for about a half an hour, you know, about.</p>
<p>Yes. And I just listened to an insane, much just listened and nodded. And I realized that day that that was the work of that. I thought, I thought I was a pie man, but I was really something else, you know? And I think that. Many of us have jobs like that, not the job that you're doing is not the real job of our place here on earth.</p>
<p>Uh, it's a job of, um, that's like the, uh, the [00:18:00] surface, you know, underneath there is things in so many times I can think of moments like that, but it takes a little bit of pausing to get there and, and focusing out on them and not yourself. Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no. That's definitely one of the things I've discovered is if you actually pay attention to what people tell you, They're so grateful.</p>
<p>And if you actually then retain that information and make a comment about it later, like it can be as simple as remembering someone's birthday or making a promise to somebody that you're going to connect with them on such a, such a date and doing it. It's about showing that you're willing to go to the next level.</p>
<p>You're not just being there on the surface. You're you're, you're paying attention. You're connecting you're while you're attempting to connect to someone. In the good way, much as like I Quito. Cause we were talking about IQ earlier. Um, much as I Quito teaches us that a punch is a communication. So is listening and [00:19:00] communicating that that's what you're doing and it happens.</p>
<p>It's rare that it happens and that's how Matt and I became friends and I. Short after that totally fell in love with him because he was the only one that heard me. I feel like I, I was going through a live and no one heard me, no one listened to what I was saying, but Matt got every word and the meaning of what I was saying.</p>
<p>And that was love right there. You know what I mean? Beyond, beyond the physical, it was, that was the number one. That was the number one. And I think, yeah, I think it becomes a habit too. Uh, if you do it once, it's like pay it forward. You do it once. You know, this happens to me a lot. Like even it happens to me at toll booths where you can get to the tub with, instead of the person in front of you paid for you, they're like, Whoa, you want to like catch up with them to like, say thank you, whatever.</p>
<p>But it [00:20:00] happened to me in Starbucks, get this. I was driving. I don't even know how to get it. Don't you have to know what they're getting, but I think she asked what the guy behind her was getting. And, uh, you know, I have a friend named Tom and he's really fun to travel with Trump, gen ed say his last name because he'd loved me to, to immortalize him in this part, say his name again, what's his last name.</p>
<p>And he lives in Philadelphia now he's Quaker. And he, he did a lot of work at like Quaker retreat there and Pendle Hill. And he, um, He used to be the guy that cleaned the rooms and made the coffee and that kind of thing. And, um, so he and I took them on the road. I did three seminars on teaching writing, and I took them on the road with me and we, and we just, it was really fun.</p>
<p>Cause we're old friends, like 30, 40 year old friends, a friendship, but here we go, been in a hotel with Tom and you'd stop. So I'm going to be vacuuming and say, He'd walk up to him and say, stop. Did you turn off the vacuum for a second and turn off the vacuum kind of annoyed. And he, and he looked him right in the [00:21:00] eye and said, you know, I just want to tell you, you're doing an amazing job here.</p>
<p>You know, I've done this kind of work and no one ever, they just complain when something's wrong, but no one ever gets to tell you. So I don't want to tell you that. And people would week, literally week, uh, when. This happened and, and what a great, you know, so when you're traveling, I would tell them, you're not doing seminars, your doing, it's like a ministry, you know, it's like a ministry.</p>
<p>Yeah. I've absolutely known people like that. Yeah. They're, they're not a traditional kind of Holy man or mentor or, but you know, just the way they live is very, it humbles you a lot and teaches you a lot. And you know, what I think is. The other side of it. When you catch yourself, maybe looking at the trifle of what is happening, like you notice something in this person and then you may think to [00:22:00] yourself, Oh, well, I.</p>
<p>I don't know if it's a real thing when I just picked up, because it could happen in a split second. It's like a psychic thing. And most people don't believe they're a psychic. I think we're all interconnected and we're all intuitive. And then we're all picking up each other's feelings, emotions, and there are scientists who've been recording all this to prove that we are in fact totally connected.</p>
<p>By the heart by the electromagnetic field of the earth, the heart, our hearts are connected. So there's that, but most people don't believe that. But what I'm saying is when you see someone and you see a little twinkle or non twinkle in their eye, And you act on that thinking, Oh, if I act on that, I'm just making it up.</p>
<p>Like, I can't believe this is for real, like whatever I may have picked up. But if you do act on that and leave that aside, the surprise of having the [00:23:00] person becomes so emotional and so grateful for the fact that you picked up on whatever that travel was. When that happens, it's addictive. So you want to do it to everybody else.</p>
<p>Do you know what I mean, Matt, do you know what I mean? Very like you catch it and someone gets emotional. Like that's what you want to do it again. And that's kindness. That is that's where it can really transform the world if we all played like that. Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. And I can see that as an evolutionary trade almost.</p>
<p>Because if you do a solid for someone in your quote unquote tribe, you know, you give them food when they're hungry, you, you give them medicine when they're sick, you know, that's going to increase your survivability as well, because then they're going to be able to take care of you when you know, and they're going to have a desire to do this when you're not at your best.</p>
<p>It was actually a study that was done at Harvard. I use this with kids. Sometimes if I have a story, this is kind of a [00:24:00] very trivial story, but even how you're in the line at the checkout at the grocery store. And you've got, you know, a wagon of things and there's some bird bite with like just the carton of milk or even just a couple of things.</p>
<p>And, and you say, you know, Oh, you go first and it's Josie starts. They also have chocolate at the checkout as impulse buys for people. And there's research that rats will forsake a chocolate to save a drowning rat, which I hate. The idea of this experiment, how they do it or whatever, but, but the idea is that evolutionarily, they sit there.</p>
<p>They're hardwired. To save to, to be kind to each other and the same part of your brain that likes chocolate, it lights up when the chocolate also lights up when you do a solid for someone like that. So I'd say the kids I got, you know, you can go first, you know, I'm getting my chocolate in a way. It's weird, but it's like, uh, [00:25:00] you know, and, and this woman went.</p>
<p>You're so kind. Yeah. It's kind of that wash a feeling of, yeah, this is why we're here. You know, why else are we here? What's the, what's the definition of insanity is somebody that can't connect with anybody, but. The demons in their mind, you know? Um, so how do you, um, escape that you focus on others? I had a friend who was feeling suicidal and depressed and he got some advice I forget from who, but they said that the best thing you can do is just spend your time doing stuff, volunteering, and doing stuff for other people.</p>
<p>So he started to go to. Uh, nursing home and reading poetry, reading to people and totally changed his outlook on life. You know, it probably still took some of the anti-depressant drugs, but it just helped him to re-center. I hear that. And [00:26:00] I have definitely been in situations where I felt like there's no hope.</p>
<p>And I recall like one of the last times I was feeling this way, it, it shook me too. I felt shattered. Like it shook me so much that I shattered everything that was about me. Like, I I've talked about this before, like Matt and I used to have a household that was zero waste. We were very gentle with the earth.</p>
<p>We, we were very careful about how we walked and when things got really bad for us, and we felt like we, we didn't have anyone helping us out at all. I was not in the state to help anyone else out. So like, if you're so low, You can't even muster up the energy to go help someone else. If you're feeling like that that's, I've been in that state.</p>
<p>So I can't imagine saying, [00:27:00] okay, I'm just going to go help someone else out when you're in dire need of emotional or kind help. I remember lashing out and I lashed out at the earth. I remember. So we didn't. We, we had lost our home. It was like after 2010, Matt, doesn't like to talk about this. I'm really sorry, honey.</p>
<p>I won't talk about it too much. I'll just say it was a really bad time. And I remember we had to go to the store to buy food and of course we didn't have a place to cook anything. So we had to buy a packaged food, which normally we would have never done because it has plastic. It has all this stuff that I didn't believe in.</p>
<p>Using, but I remember getting it and I remember it for me, this was like pretty defiant might not sound like that to anyone else, but I remember feeding the kids and we had [00:28:00] food and I was looking at the containers of plastic that were non-recyclable or even recyclable. And I was so angry then I just threw it in the trash and.</p>
<p>I w I was just cursing everything. Like I just threw it in the trash and w S thought if no one is helping us out, why am I even bothering? And I threw it in the trash and it took, it took a while to come back to center for myself and like, go back to the kindness. Right. But like, Barry, what do you do when you don't, you can't even muster up the energy to go help someone else when you're so down.</p>
<p>Well, one of the things that I do when I talk to kids about this is that it's really hard to know your higher self or to act, to be kind when somebody is being mean to you. That's like the gold standard of Christianity or any religion really is turning the [00:29:00] other cheek. It's not even just turning the other cheek.</p>
<p>It's actually, you know, uh, maybe it's more about, um, not taking someone's energy, but the Akido thing where you take. The energy of the world coming at you and, and doing something with it so that it doesn't, uh, escalate the conflict or whatever it is, the internal conflict or the external conflict. So one of the things I talk to kids about is to do that.</p>
<p>You have to be able to fight. Your happy place, that part inside your brain, where you can just take a deep breath. And kids are very wise about this. Even when they haven't had mindfulness training, they'll say things like you have to take a deep breath, you know, where you have to be able to punch a pillow or do something you need to find, take care of that part of yourself.</p>
<p>So you can find your happy place. There's a song I wrote. It goes like this. When you're feeling sad, getting scared and mad. Here's a place you can get there [00:30:00] in a moment. If you're only turn the key. So just close your eyes and forget the lie. Cheat. What's the story that you tell that your anger SES and you find a piece down inside your continence.</p>
<p>Well, find your happy place. Deep within your mind. Life is matter. Race. If every one is Chi, stay there for a while. A rainbow smile.</p>
<p>It gets me feeling seen to give everyone love. You're standing there snatches. They blow in the stars. Close. Just breathe in and out. You don't need to shout when you know that your [00:31:00] shadow loving, like trying to fight something might become the day. Find your happy place. Keep with the ear. My life is not a race.</p>
<p>Right. One is K. Stay that for Y grow. Uh, reading books</p>
<p>and winning, winning when it gets so hot. Oh, you can ask him why he's strong and draft here, guys. Keep brave enough and try</p>
<p>to find your happy place. Deep within your mind is not a race. [00:32:00] One is Chi stay for a while. A rainbow smile.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>Thank you. You know, it's um, I have so much to say about that. I'm sure you did too, but I'm going to just jump in there, Matt. We are not alone and I did feel alone. And when you're feeling alone, you feel like you are alone, but it is a lie because we're not because we are, it reminds me of your shirt, Sperry, you have a shirt that you wear and it says all one.</p>
<p>And then if you, and you said this on one of your TEDx talks, and then when we were, when we met for the first [00:33:00] time on zoom, you were wearing one of those shirts and it did the same thing. Like when you're in a certain position, the. The shirt creases in a way where it says alone. And then when you put your shoulders back, it says all one, like it happened when we were on zoom the other night.</p>
<p>It's so funny because really you're not alone because we are all one. So I liked the trick that your shirt plays on people. Yeah, I talk to kids about this. We talk about it, you know, the difference we'll usually give us a role-play where a student's having a bad day, kind of like you were describing before, where you just, you know, I'm going to buy the packaged, we're going to cold cuts in plastic today and throw it out the garbage and not recycle or whatever it is, you know, just kind of, uh, uh, Yeah, why bother?</p>
<p>And so you walk up to your friend, you can usually get a kindergartener to [00:34:00] come up back in the days before covert, I had these great super spreader events where I, and everybody 600 kids holding hands. And, you know, it was like a. Great. Thanks very much before the days of COVID. Hold on Barry before, please hold your thought because I forgot to mention guys, this is what Barry does.</p>
<p>He travels around all. Before COVID, but even he's doing it on zoom now, but he travels around his schools and spreads the message of kindness to children. Go on his website. Forcefield for good. And he talks about the force field and interconnecting and how we're all win, but it's really amazing the work he does and the songs you sing, it's all on your website.</p>
<p>Anyway. So this is what he does with kids. He goes to schools and they talk and teach and sing. And it's all kindness related. Okay. I'm sorry to interrupt. Go on Barry. Sorry. Oh, that's a great quote. I'm [00:35:00] glad you brought that up because a lot of schools, when they try to teach kindness, they kind of try to teach it in a very, almost totalitarian way.</p>
<p>Well, that's what schools do. Yeah, not getting in front of anti-bullying is a great example. So say what's kindness, not hitting, not bullying, what's bullying. Well, you know, and then what happens with anti building is everyone just keeps pointing fingers. Oh, you're a bully. Oh, he's bullying me. And it becomes not self-reflective, but like almost like a blame culture.</p>
<p>Uh, and uh, so one of the things I try to teach the kids. So we do this a little role play. So Amber comes up and she's got just kind of, um, she's having a bad day. We all pretend we cross our arms across our chest and we scratch up our face. When we talk about there's 43 muscles in your face that have to work in order to frown, but only 16 to smile.</p>
<p>Some of the research on that it's a little, sometimes it goes back and forth, but. [00:36:00] Roughly about that, that number. And so we practiced going her and then I have this drawing, uh, of all the children around the earth, holding hands and my daughter, Gracie drew. And, uh, we talk about that where you hold your arms out, connect with each other and hold hands.</p>
<p>It's like, ah, sorry. Ah, and we practice doing that. So, so Amber says she's having a bad day. I walk up to her say, Hey, I'm ready. Are you doing? And she looks at me. And because she's having a bad day, not because she's a bully or a mean person or whatever, anything just because she's not feeling well. She looks at, she says, I don't like your shoots.</p>
<p>You know, she says something that just a judgment or something near, and, and then I turned to the 600 kids that are sitting there and I say, what, what can I say back to her when she says that to me? Cause I, you know, immediately I kind to act like. Like you're being injured, you know, he says, that's the moment.</p>
<p>That's the moment we've been talking about the moment [00:37:00] where somebody is, you know, happened to me the other day in the supermarket. This truck driver came in. I was on the phone. Talk to me about the guy to fix my snowblower while I was going delivering pies. And this guy keeps us where's the pie guy walks in and he's got this hat on and I go.</p>
<p>And for some reason I said to him, Oh, do you like our pots? And he says, you're parked your van where the truck needs to go. And he's a guy from Boston and he's, he's really being rude to me. And like, uh, you know, he's like really angry, but he won't look at me, you know, and as we're walking back out and I'm going to move the van right away, and then I did the Akido thing, right.</p>
<p>Oh yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to do that and that'd be good. And he turned to me and says, you know, I don't like your pies either. But you know, that the thing about meanness is it was harder for him to muster up. He had to say something else, but he couldn't think of anything else. So we had to integrate, [00:38:00] it was like, it was like a moment where anyways, so then I came to the group of kids and I'll say, you know, what do I say back there?</p>
<p>And in some cultures, it's interesting, these little tiny rural schools, like in Wyoming, sometimes kids know it. Because they've got grandmothers, I've got a culture of it, but usually they'll say things like you could say, I don't like re-issues either, or they'll say, or they'll say things like, um, you could say, Oh, I like your shoes.</p>
<p>You may say, well, let me take the kids. What if I were to ask her question and that's the, the moment I'm looking for? And if it's a good moment, there's usually a pause there and then somebody will put their hand up and I can tell just by the look in their odd. That they have the answer, the questions that, and they'll say, well, why did you say that?</p>
<p>Which is the simplest non-judgment question. Really? It's not like, why don't you just, why did you say that to me? And at that point, [00:39:00] well, Amber can say I'm having a bad day. Right? And then the whole class can say, it's what I do with the 600 kids. I'm sorry, you're having a bad day. And that moment there's connection.</p>
<p>There's like, there's there's contact. And, um, and to me, what the problem with punishing kids for not being kind or even rewarding kids for being caught, which is, to me, that's kind of absurd in a way you get a pencil. Because, you know, you're, we're kindness week, you know, it, kindness is its own reward and it cheapens, it almost makes it like, it's like, I don't need the chocolate from in the checkout line at the supermarket, you know, I all needs the kindness.</p>
<p>I don't need the chocolate. That's like too rich. Um, but, but that's, that's kind of what I do. I want kids to be able to practice. Kindness and not feel like they're failures because they bought something that they threw and they threw a bit in recycle or whatever it is, [00:40:00] whatever that, uh, bar of perfection that we set for some.</p>
<p>And one of the problems with schools today, I can go on. A lot of, this has to be a whole podcast is that they try to make. Determination into a virtue, you know, there, you know, or that somehow you have to be this Uber Manch, this perfect person to be, you know, successful in life. And, uh, they have quotes from like Wayne Gretzky.</p>
<p>You know, you get, you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take, you know, you know, I'm like, what, why don't you share the puck once in awhile, Wayne, you know, You know, there are things, there are different ways of looking at those quotes, Ruth, you know, you can't lose if you'd ever give up, maybe it's good to give up.</p>
<p>Especially if you're doing something that's not good, you know, for people or hurtful to people in the world. And so, you know, there's kind of a, a human dignity and integrity that, um, I think we need to teach along with kind of [00:41:00] the, why. It's not just the word of kindness. The why of kindness is, uh, yeah, no, no, no, no.</p>
<p>I totally agree. Something. My wife says is hurt people hurt. And in your earlier example with Amber and the role playing. You know, from an acute point of view, she's got so much, let's call it red energy after, you know, Aras, but very angry energy and asking a question, all of a sudden you're engaging a different part of their brain.</p>
<p>They're you're not engaging that I'm mad at everything kind of phase you're you're you're getting into maybe a higher brain function of huh? If you can get there, sometimes you can't, sometimes people are seeing red and then they've got the wall up. But as soon as you break them into a, I'm going to deal with you almost like a parent, we talked about how to be a good host, how to be a parent.</p>
<p>And you know, you're almost teaching the child to be that nurturing force, you know, in that, in that. W why are you being [00:42:00] so mean? Why are you making comments about my shoes? They're not, you're not. You know, it's like, it's like, you're not admitting weakness. You're not admitting that your shoes are, are ugly.</p>
<p>What you're, what you're getting to is explain this to me. I want to know what you're thinking. And all of a sudden now on some level that kindness is validating that person as a person. Because sometimes when we're so angry, we feel ignored. We feel disrespected. We feel all these kinds of disks and, and all sorts of things like trash.</p>
<p>And somebody is saying, Hey, I see you. Hey, I see you over there. And I want to connect with you. Even if you're giving me all this like static and all this, I still want to connect with you. You know, one of my, one of my core fundamental beliefs is that. Everybody has an interesting story. And, you know, I like digging for that.</p>
<p>And so even if someone is mean to me, I still want to find out what that interesting story is. They have to tell, and I don't care [00:43:00] how, you know, how on the surface boring or how different someone is from me. You know, they have that story, you know, I've got those stories, but everybody has that story where you're just like, wow, Yeah.</p>
<p>Yeah. Very way. That is like that another life before COVID I did a lot of plane travel, you know, I don't know if you've ever been in an airport and seen scenes where businessmen get angry at the gate attended because it's snowing, you know, like the, the United airlines seeded the clouds to create it's like, so there's this guy and it was in New Jersey and he was like, really.</p>
<p>Being a bully. You know, he, I mean, he made one of the gate attendants cry and he, they got the supervisor gate attendant to come over and she also just try to. Appease him and he put it with, but no eye contact, just kind of looking away and just trying to say, well, I can't do anything about the weather, sir.</p>
<p>Of [00:44:00] course we get on this little tiny plate and he's sitting right next to them. Oh yeah. Like gold chains, all these like nice and every, I can't believe the Sarah line, you know, I'm not going to get to Cleveland. You know, in time for my meeting or whatever, and we're talking, and finally he like grabs the, the flight attendant.</p>
<p>You literally reached for it and grabbed it. And she kind of looked at him and she looked at him in the eye and he starts to give a spiel, whatever you know about how, you know, the world is not cooperating with his plans basically. And she bless her heart. She, what she does is she gets down to his level.</p>
<p>She literally kneels down. Puts her hand on his hand, looks him right in the eye and says, it's going to be okay. And he just melted. It was amazing. He just like turned to, to melted butter. It's just, and it was like, Oh, you wanted was this mommy? Oh my [00:45:00] God, Barry. That's what we talk about all the time. When you get into situations like that, no matter what, you have to become a parental figure because that's what everyone needs.</p>
<p>And that's why that's the big reason. One of the big reasons I wanted you to talk with us today because. It's not just for children, we're all children. We all need that. And most of us have not had that from parents and we need to constantly parent each other. What's the word for it? I don't know. Abs absolutely.</p>
<p>We constantly need to empathize. I mean, it's all these kinds of words, like empathize and, um, you know, uh, parent are care, friends care show that we care. Right. I mean, a simple glance, a simple kind, not stare was the opposite of stairs. You know, when you look at someone with kind soft eyes, that's enough.</p>
<p>Sometimes most of the time. Right. What you see [00:46:00] now? I don't know if our audience knows this, but my hair is long now. It used to be super well. It used to be super, super long. It used to be super long. Yeah. And I would walk around in my, you know, my heavy metal t-shirts and whatever. And anytime I saw another guy with long hair, just always there's there's the, there's a, Hey, there's that?</p>
<p>There's that lift of the eyes. And there's that acknowledgement that, Hey, I see you. And what's so funny is we became friends with this other couple due to that, you know, because we kept, I kept seeing him and I kept saying, Hey, what's up? Yeah. You know, what's interesting, honey. Like any, when I was little, like four or five years old, there were not very many people like us in the neighborhood and I could spot another.</p>
<p>Middle Eastern person from a mile away. And I would start yelling Santa from far away and my parents would kind of panic because, you know, um, [00:47:00] Immigrants were not totally liked. So like, please don't cause attention to come at us more than we normally get. Right. But I would yell and I could see this trepidation on the other person's body.</p>
<p>Like they were far enough where I couldn't really see their faces, but I knew they were Persian. Right. And I could see that they were shocked. Like, Oh my God, what do I, how do I respond to this? And as we got closer, there would be this smile, but you don't want to be, I forgot what I was saying, but anyway, That was my introduction.</p>
<p>Well, no, that's not long knowledging that people exist. It's you know, and it it's the whole, you remember on, uh, on Bainbridge, how people would just jam in the door before you. Oh my God, what is going on? Okay. So we lived in this area. I think we talk about this. I talk about this on our show, on the mentor show.</p>
<p>The very, very first show. When we started to notice something is happening to our society on a rapid scale, like time is moving [00:48:00] much faster and the anger is bubbling and the unkindness seems to be on, on the uptake wherever we went, we would open the door and. You know, there was someone right behind us.</p>
<p>So we would hold the door open for them and let them go in first. And they would not even look at us and assume that all day, every day, that was our job is to open the door for them and let them go ahead of us. And it would make me so angry and I became very unkind because then I would follow them into the coffee shop.</p>
<p>And I started like a mad person, like, you know, some of our friends in Santa Monica, Right. That needed help. I became one of them. Cause I started just out loud saying I do not understand you people, what? I'm not here to open the door for you. And I dunno, what would I say? I would go on a, I would go on a tirade [00:49:00] about.</p>
<p>Uh, you would, you would be like, it wouldn't be nice if people said thank you and right, and all the rest, but I to scold them, but we just identified something between you and me. I look at guys in the, I would look at, you know, gentlemen with long hair and I would nod. I was always eye contact. This guy wouldn't look at you.</p>
<p>And exactly. And the same thing with the plane, you know, he wasn't, he wasn't looking at the, uh, he wasn't looking at the, uh, yeah, it's the wall. When you think about it, it's the wall people to maintain, Hey, you need the wall. Um, you need to be able to, to not see the map, see the other person. Okay. You know what else it is?</p>
<p>My personal theory is when you connect eyes, you see each other's souls. You see far beyond what is there. And like, let's say you're walking down the street and there's a homeless person in trouble, and they're asking for money very rarely. Do people [00:50:00] have eye contact with the people on the sidewalk that are sitting down and dire need?</p>
<p>Why is that if we have eye contact, we connect immediately and they don't want that connection. That connection seems very scary. It can lead you to an unknown area of trauma that you don't want to revisit. Right? The glances, a very interesting, profound healing mechanism. It is, but it doesn't always have to be the glance because, um, uh, I remember in Santa Monica, I had somebody, you know, who was, who, who needed money.</p>
<p>And he asked me a question. He didn't say, Hey, can you, can you give me money? He asked me a question that made me stop. And that made me, are you talking about our friend or somebody else? No, this is a totally different one. But what did he ask you? I don't remember. It was a silly, it was like this word trick.</p>
<p>And he was like, I can tell you the day you were born or something. I don't remember. It was just, it was bizarre. [00:51:00] But it was my birthday that week. And so it was very confusing to me and it was confusing to him. And, but anyways, but that's just it, as soon as he took it away from, I guess the norm, which is let me, you know, let me.</p>
<p>Put up my wall. Let me just ignore you. Let me just treat you the way that I guess is maybe societaly okay. It's it's okay for me to ignore somebody opening the door for me, because if I'm kind, then, you know, I can't get my coffee and leave this place in two minutes or make my meeting or I can't, or I can't, or I can't.</p>
<p>And there's so much of this can't as opposed to, you know, really looking at. Um, you know, every interaction with people as, as an event, as a celebration as, as, uh, something bigger. Yeah. Did it experienced back in 1998? That was really kind of life-changing and I, um, I got to go to South Africa with, um, a delegation of teachers to do workshops for teachers [00:52:00] on writing and Google aid to in Cape town, which is, that was part of the Amy Biehl foundation, which is a story in itself.</p>
<p>This, uh, Amy Beal was a graduate student who was murdered, uh, in a tragic race riot. Uh, she was sitting from the U S she went to Stanford, I think. Can. Uh, whenever, but the, the FA her parents, when she died, when she was killed, instead of they were wealthy Californian people, instead of, um, being angry and just showing rage, they actually continued her work.</p>
<p>They went over there and asked the question, why did this happen? And how can we help? And which was in itself, they weren't. Christian or even religious people, but they just ask those questions out of pure, like humanity, whatever. And they found that this foundation that's a long story about it, but to make a long story short, I gone over there and done a workshop for two weeks in a very white enclave.</p>
<p>It may take all these people out of the [00:53:00] slums and the kind of the worst places and they get to stay at these luxury resort. And we did these workshops. Um, um, teaching, um, in a better way, I should put it that way co-operative way, um, as, as opposed to having kids in rows and desks and so forth and looking at one teacher, uh, but to learning to work together and that kind of thing.</p>
<p>And, um, but after the workshop I was on this kind of level, a lot of things happen and we'll go into it. But what was on this level where, when I saw somebody else's pain, I felt it. It was, mine was weird. It was a weird kind of field. I gave away all my clothes of my underwear, everything, and they just gave away everything to the people that were working at the resort.</p>
<p>And then when we came back, we're on this little van and there wonderful teachers with me, but they were going to do some shopping in the market there, which is okay, but I could not walk past this woman and this little girl, she had a styrofoam cup. She was chewing on the edge of the cup and a baby, his [00:54:00] woman holding a baby.</p>
<p>So I said, you know what? Come on in with me, we'll have lunch at the holiday at, so we came in, uh, invited them in and, um, I bought them lunch and we just talked for an hour or so. And, uh, she told me the story, how her husband had died. Uh, just, uh, on a trend, there was all these accidents that w w what happened in Google late too, is they had the slums w if you go up above the city, you can see where all the people are living, but there's hardly any electricity.</p>
<p>And everyone has to go into town to make money. So it was very, uh, difficult, uh, life for people. And her husband had many people die in auto accidents, just cramming into these little Volkswagen vans going back and forth. And, uh, and she had lost her husband and you know, her a little girl was named June and we just talked and in the restaurant, the people were giving really weird.</p>
<p>Looks like these people aren't supposed to be in the holiday Inn. Restaurant, you know, it's [00:55:00] like very, um, it was like, these are not, these are non people you're eating with, you know? And, uh, it was very, uh, it felt very powerful just to do that, but it also felt like why I could not physically not do that.</p>
<p>It was like one of those feelings of. Um, just being at that level, like right now, I'm looking at you. I can see the stuff behind you. What if it was just stars in space? You know what I mean? It's like that we're here and he asked, you would ask the question, why are we here? You know? And that kind of like, was that, you know, could you, when you think about it, can you walk by that homeless person, uh, every day and not realize the gift it would be to.</p>
<p>To, to, to be able to help them somehow, although it's not always that simple. Of course. Yeah. And yet it is, it is that simple. It's just a human touch. [00:56:00] It's putting your hand on someone else's hand, it's having a kind glance. It's just seeing someone, just seeing them even saying I see you. Hi, that makes a.</p>
<p>World of difference and that will change everything. And I think, I think it was more than the money. Yeah. It was more than money or food. It was that. Yeah. Yeah. It's an, uh, it's, uh, an inter interaction. It's a, an exchange of energy and someone needs that. Like I was saying, When someone is really down, they don't have the ability or the capability to help someone else because they need help.</p>
<p>And that exchange give someone energy to be able to go on and then eventually help someone else out. Um, I have to. [00:57:00] I have to wrap it up. I know, but there's so much to talk about Barry. You know, it was a wondering, there's so much to talk about. First of all, the fact that you're. You're you're delivering pies.</p>
<p>Matt and I always talk about pastries will. The pastry is, is the answer to world peace. Uh, and I always say, when you end up, it doesn't matter what country you're in. It could be at the United nations and. You have all the world leaders there. If someone walks into a hot room where there's arguments, if someone walks in with a pastry box, I don't care.</p>
<p>Everyone knows what's in the box. Know, well, everyone has an inkling of what's in the box and everybody stops and gets happy and they want to know, is that eclairs? Is that donuts? Nice cheese. So Barry it's beef fitting that you're delivering world peace. You're doing pastries and [00:58:00] I was to be here. Will you please come back with us and continue the conversation?</p>
<p>And can you, can you send us off with another song, the song, um, it's called old to other and it's about, uh, this is my favorite. Yeah. It was started as a poem. And then I wrote it as a song, but it's really about how you began, where I add. That's why I call you my friend.</p>
<p><strong>Track 2: </strong>[00:58:33] Without plaque. No way without day, no night, but that's sad. No glad without good. No fan without time. No late, without a love. No hate for the teas. No joy without girls. No. Boys. You begin where I am. [00:59:00] That's why I call you. My friend maybe is different as a land and sea.</p>
<p>With me without where? No. Y without clouds, no sky without not knowing without fear. No hope without stay. No go without fans. No slow without green, no blue without me. No, you begin where I am and that's why I call you. My friend maybe is different as a land and sea.</p>
<p>Me, but don't know where we're going to [01:00:00] just know where are we? He don't believe he and the differences</p>
<p>to make 'em man without like no black without Fred, no back. No without no new without sun lower without death. No, but that's a new space without smile, low faith. You begin where I am. That's why I call you. My friend maybe is different as a land.</p>
<p>Maybe is different.</p>
<p>[01:01:00] <strong>Track 3: </strong>[01:01:13] Thank you, Barry. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you everyone. Thank you for this beautiful circle of friendship and should anyone need any, anything, please reach out to us and we love you. We love you, Barry. Thank you so much. Any parting words before we say, talk to you today. Um, what's Barry's website again, force, field for good.com.</p>
<p>Forcefield for good.com. Sounds like</p>
<p>the force field force field. [01:02:00] All right, well, we'll talk to you in a few days. Everybody be well, see you later.</p>
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                    <![CDATA[This episode, we are visiting with our lovely and talented friend who travels around the country teaching kindness to school children (and people of all ages, really). He is a phenomenally kind, beautiful human being, writer, publisher, musician, husband, father, great friend, Barry Lane!
This episode will calm your senses and make you feel way better about the world! Barry even sings to us! And we discuss the way of kindness. Enjoy this very important episode. 
to contact us: www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com or www.ourfriendlyworld.com
To contact Barry: www.forcefieldforgood.com
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;) buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace
 
 
Transcript: Episode 36 -  A Kind World with Barry Lane
[00:00:00] Track 1: [00:00:00] And Matt, we're an interracial couple with two kids wanting to do something that highlights the power of friendship and what it means to be in the company of true friends. We're going to move our society away and out of the loneliness epidemic and into a friendlier, happier world. Welcome to our friendly world.
Better, stronger together,
guys, listen to this. Barry Barry, will you lead us in please? Sure.
[00:01:00] no worries. No more fears, something new between the years someone hits you. Turn your cheek. The word peak is the day.
The new day now is you can judge me by my skin kick in time to look within treat you the truth is on the track, but no one talks behind your back is now is the new day. Now is
the
day, both are weak [00:02:00] is a verdict. So there's the burden sings, but more love and much less much the world go up. Hurry. Cause now is.
Now is any day
now is the mixed fleet of one tree live in peace and unity at the old embrace a new
you, you.
Now is your day. How is the day now is a new day hungry people, scared. They don't know how much we can feast the sun soak up. It's raised it's time to find a [00:03:00] better week because.
Now is the new game that the day now is done.
That is the perfect introduction for today. Everyone I'd like to introduce you. To our new friend Barry lane, you can find barryLane@forcefieldforgood.com where he sings and teaches kindness. And that is the subject for today. Barry is an amazing writer, musician. Publisher. Amazing human being were so fortunate to become friends with him.
Welcome to our friendly world, Barry. Welcome. Oh, thank you. It's so great to be here. I feel [00:04:00] really at home. You are at home. You're literally in our home, in our kitchen virtually, ironically, you're in your home. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so happy. You're here. I wanted to talk about kindness today and I looked up the roots of what kindness is.
I have some definitions that I've found. So check this out. Kindness. It's from the old English word. How would you pronounce that? Matt? Jacob and Jason is G E C Y N. The means kind nature, race related to kin. Family it's from the prodo Germanic. Coon does, is that how I would pronounce that map? What do you think?
Which means family race from PI roots? Jen, Jean, I'm sorry guys. I can't pronounce [00:05:00] things. English is not my first language. Either give birth begets with derivatives, referring to procreation and familial and tribal groups. Here's the other definition. It comes from the old, this is the etymology of kindness.
It comes from the old English and is constructed from the adjective kind. And the suffix ness kind comes from the middle English, kin old English. How do you pronounce that? And I was like genocide. She, and it meant it meant friendly. Well, disposed tender ness is announced suffix middle English ness and is used...]]>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:02:15</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Sit Still!]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Mar 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/sit-still</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/sit-still</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Episode Sit Still!</p>
<p>Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: Petite Sensei  (Francoise Petite)– make yourself at home in the uncomfortableness.</p>
<p>We talk about being comfortable in the many forms being comfortable and uncomfortableness exists. Fawn brings up her friend Eowyn and the subject of being comfortable with money no matter where you sit in the financial realm. <br /> How does being still and not being still; multitasking contribute to loneliness?</p>
<p>How can the alarm clock help you?</p>
<p>Capacity is a big factor in the loneliness epidemic or in people having their relationships fractured. We don't have enough capacity to be able to offer anything to anyone else.  When you have so many things vying for your attention, you end up with a piece of over here, a piece of you over there, and you're not there.  You’re not present. You're scattered throughout all these other places and tasks.  And that's where you are fragmented all over the place. So you're not able to totally be with your kids a hundred percent and not to be there for your friends. So you can't notice that one look that you need to notice that would quite possibly save someone’s life, or a look someone will give in a split second that gives you information. You'll miss out on stuff like that.  And that's being distracted. We are distracted from each other.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Episode Sit Still!
Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: Petite Sensei  (Francoise Petite)– make yourself at home in the uncomfortableness.
We talk about being comfortable in the many forms being comfortable and uncomfortableness exists. Fawn brings up her friend Eowyn and the subject of being comfortable with money no matter where you sit in the financial realm.  How does being still and not being still; multitasking contribute to loneliness?
How can the alarm clock help you?
Capacity is a big factor in the loneliness epidemic or in people having their relationships fractured. We don't have enough capacity to be able to offer anything to anyone else.  When you have so many things vying for your attention, you end up with a piece of over here, a piece of you over there, and you're not there.  You’re not present. You're scattered throughout all these other places and tasks.  And that's where you are fragmented all over the place. So you're not able to totally be with your kids a hundred percent and not to be there for your friends. So you can't notice that one look that you need to notice that would quite possibly save someone’s life, or a look someone will give in a split second that gives you information. You'll miss out on stuff like that.  And that's being distracted. We are distracted from each other.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Sit Still!]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>34</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Episode Sit Still!</p>
<p>Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: Petite Sensei  (Francoise Petite)– make yourself at home in the uncomfortableness.</p>
<p>We talk about being comfortable in the many forms being comfortable and uncomfortableness exists. Fawn brings up her friend Eowyn and the subject of being comfortable with money no matter where you sit in the financial realm. <br /> How does being still and not being still; multitasking contribute to loneliness?</p>
<p>How can the alarm clock help you?</p>
<p>Capacity is a big factor in the loneliness epidemic or in people having their relationships fractured. We don't have enough capacity to be able to offer anything to anyone else.  When you have so many things vying for your attention, you end up with a piece of over here, a piece of you over there, and you're not there.  You’re not present. You're scattered throughout all these other places and tasks.  And that's where you are fragmented all over the place. So you're not able to totally be with your kids a hundred percent and not to be there for your friends. So you can't notice that one look that you need to notice that would quite possibly save someone’s life, or a look someone will give in a split second that gives you information. You'll miss out on stuff like that.  And that's being distracted. We are distracted from each other.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-34-Sit-Still-full-edit.wav" length="256221198"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Episode Sit Still!
Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: Petite Sensei  (Francoise Petite)– make yourself at home in the uncomfortableness.
We talk about being comfortable in the many forms being comfortable and uncomfortableness exists. Fawn brings up her friend Eowyn and the subject of being comfortable with money no matter where you sit in the financial realm.  How does being still and not being still; multitasking contribute to loneliness?
How can the alarm clock help you?
Capacity is a big factor in the loneliness epidemic or in people having their relationships fractured. We don't have enough capacity to be able to offer anything to anyone else.  When you have so many things vying for your attention, you end up with a piece of over here, a piece of you over there, and you're not there.  You’re not present. You're scattered throughout all these other places and tasks.  And that's where you are fragmented all over the place. So you're not able to totally be with your kids a hundred percent and not to be there for your friends. So you can't notice that one look that you need to notice that would quite possibly save someone’s life, or a look someone will give in a split second that gives you information. You'll miss out on stuff like that.  And that's being distracted. We are distracted from each other.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:48:25</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Capacity - moving to expansiveness – neuroscience, neurobiology and the social engagement system]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Mar 2021 05:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/capacity-moving-to-expansiveness-neuroscience-neurobiology-and-the-social-engagement-system</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/capacity-moving-to-expansiveness-neuroscience-neurobiology-and-the-social-engagement-system</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Show notes Episode 33 “Capacity - moving to expansiveness – neuroscience, neurobiology and the social engagement system” with our guest Pamela Stokes</p>
<p>There is a connection far beyond our bodies.</p>
<p>There is a part of the neuroscience and the neurobiology that is called the social engagement system. And it's a grouping of five different things in our physiology that allows us to connect with ourselves. But also to connect with each other</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This week we get into the neuroscience of our connections with one another and we figure out how to begin the healing process for our society. </p>
<p>Some topics include: the science of brain and body, trauma based therapeutic movement and brain training, movement and neuroplasticity, mindful motion, the insula cortex and how it is the key that allows us to connect with others.</p>
<p>This episode is really big on more than one level. It’s a little over 90 minutes, but it’s packed with techniques that will help our world. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to miss a minute of it.</p>
<p>We begin with the question of how to get out of operating from full capacity mode (meaning we all have so much on our “plate” from responsibilities, to worries and thoughts, to trauma, fear, and pain) and unable to be open to others, to getting to an embracing, loving, giving state; getting back to social engagements and selfless constructs, after so much we have been through. Also, can trauma actually be beneficial? How can we be there for each other (as a society) when we are all in pain? Who gets to go first in being heard and cared for, when we all need comforting and help?</p>
<p>Today, we have some answers that will begin this process. Guys, everything is going to be OK! - more than OK, actually!</p>
<p> to connect with Pamela </p>
<p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/moveintoresilience/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/moveintoresilience/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.moveintoresilience.com/about-pamela/">https://www.moveintoresilience.com/about-pamela/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Let's connect! Email us through: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com </a></p>
<p>and also: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com">www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com</a></p>
<p>Please leave us a review on iTunes to help our podcast reach more people.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Show notes Episode 33 “Capacity - moving to expansiveness – neuroscience, neurobiology and the social engagement system” with our guest Pamela Stokes
There is a connection far beyond our bodies.
There is a part of the neuroscience and the neurobiology that is called the social engagement system. And it's a grouping of five different things in our physiology that allows us to connect with ourselves. But also to connect with each other
 
This week we get into the neuroscience of our connections with one another and we figure out how to begin the healing process for our society. 
Some topics include: the science of brain and body, trauma based therapeutic movement and brain training, movement and neuroplasticity, mindful motion, the insula cortex and how it is the key that allows us to connect with others.
This episode is really big on more than one level. It’s a little over 90 minutes, but it’s packed with techniques that will help our world. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to miss a minute of it.
We begin with the question of how to get out of operating from full capacity mode (meaning we all have so much on our “plate” from responsibilities, to worries and thoughts, to trauma, fear, and pain) and unable to be open to others, to getting to an embracing, loving, giving state; getting back to social engagements and selfless constructs, after so much we have been through. Also, can trauma actually be beneficial? How can we be there for each other (as a society) when we are all in pain? Who gets to go first in being heard and cared for, when we all need comforting and help?
Today, we have some answers that will begin this process. Guys, everything is going to be OK! - more than OK, actually!
 to connect with Pamela 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/moveintoresilience/
https://www.moveintoresilience.com/about-pamela/
 
Let's connect! Email us through: www.ourfriendlyworld.com 
and also: www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com
Please leave us a review on iTunes to help our podcast reach more people.
Thank you,
Fawn and Matt]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Capacity - moving to expansiveness – neuroscience, neurobiology and the social engagement system]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>32</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Show notes Episode 33 “Capacity - moving to expansiveness – neuroscience, neurobiology and the social engagement system” with our guest Pamela Stokes</p>
<p>There is a connection far beyond our bodies.</p>
<p>There is a part of the neuroscience and the neurobiology that is called the social engagement system. And it's a grouping of five different things in our physiology that allows us to connect with ourselves. But also to connect with each other</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This week we get into the neuroscience of our connections with one another and we figure out how to begin the healing process for our society. </p>
<p>Some topics include: the science of brain and body, trauma based therapeutic movement and brain training, movement and neuroplasticity, mindful motion, the insula cortex and how it is the key that allows us to connect with others.</p>
<p>This episode is really big on more than one level. It’s a little over 90 minutes, but it’s packed with techniques that will help our world. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to miss a minute of it.</p>
<p>We begin with the question of how to get out of operating from full capacity mode (meaning we all have so much on our “plate” from responsibilities, to worries and thoughts, to trauma, fear, and pain) and unable to be open to others, to getting to an embracing, loving, giving state; getting back to social engagements and selfless constructs, after so much we have been through. Also, can trauma actually be beneficial? How can we be there for each other (as a society) when we are all in pain? Who gets to go first in being heard and cared for, when we all need comforting and help?</p>
<p>Today, we have some answers that will begin this process. Guys, everything is going to be OK! - more than OK, actually!</p>
<p> to connect with Pamela </p>
<p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/moveintoresilience/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/moveintoresilience/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.moveintoresilience.com/about-pamela/">https://www.moveintoresilience.com/about-pamela/</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Let's connect! Email us through: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com </a></p>
<p>and also: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com">www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com</a></p>
<p>Please leave us a review on iTunes to help our podcast reach more people.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-32-At-Full-Capacity-with-Guest-Pamela-Stokes.wav" length="487008140"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Show notes Episode 33 “Capacity - moving to expansiveness – neuroscience, neurobiology and the social engagement system” with our guest Pamela Stokes
There is a connection far beyond our bodies.
There is a part of the neuroscience and the neurobiology that is called the social engagement system. And it's a grouping of five different things in our physiology that allows us to connect with ourselves. But also to connect with each other
 
This week we get into the neuroscience of our connections with one another and we figure out how to begin the healing process for our society. 
Some topics include: the science of brain and body, trauma based therapeutic movement and brain training, movement and neuroplasticity, mindful motion, the insula cortex and how it is the key that allows us to connect with others.
This episode is really big on more than one level. It’s a little over 90 minutes, but it’s packed with techniques that will help our world. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to miss a minute of it.
We begin with the question of how to get out of operating from full capacity mode (meaning we all have so much on our “plate” from responsibilities, to worries and thoughts, to trauma, fear, and pain) and unable to be open to others, to getting to an embracing, loving, giving state; getting back to social engagements and selfless constructs, after so much we have been through. Also, can trauma actually be beneficial? How can we be there for each other (as a society) when we are all in pain? Who gets to go first in being heard and cared for, when we all need comforting and help?
Today, we have some answers that will begin this process. Guys, everything is going to be OK! - more than OK, actually!
 to connect with Pamela 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/moveintoresilience/
https://www.moveintoresilience.com/about-pamela/
 
Let's connect! Email us through: www.ourfriendlyworld.com 
and also: www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com
Please leave us a review on iTunes to help our podcast reach more people.
Thank you,
Fawn and Matt]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Onion-layers-with-hearts.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:32:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Capacity]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Mar 2021 22:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/capacity</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/capacity</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We talk about rituals in life from big rituals to small rituals.</p>
<p>We can develop connections with people when there's a ritual, and it can be the ritual having a cup of coffee, taking a walk, going to the farmer's market or sharing a table is a beautiful ritual. And that's one of the things I would like to say is, we can benefit from getting  in the habit of sharing what we're not comfortable sharing until we're comfortable at it; for example, sharing a table with a stranger. This brings us to this episode’s nugget of wisdom from our mentor, Santa Monica.</p>
<p>Today’s topic stems from Musashi Miyamoto and the “A Book of Five Rings” as we discuss the fifth rule: “Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters.”</p>
<p>Capacity. We define it. We analyze it and we come to the conclusion that love has infinite capacity.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We talk about rituals in life from big rituals to small rituals.
We can develop connections with people when there's a ritual, and it can be the ritual having a cup of coffee, taking a walk, going to the farmer's market or sharing a table is a beautiful ritual. And that's one of the things I would like to say is, we can benefit from getting  in the habit of sharing what we're not comfortable sharing until we're comfortable at it; for example, sharing a table with a stranger. This brings us to this episode’s nugget of wisdom from our mentor, Santa Monica.
Today’s topic stems from Musashi Miyamoto and the “A Book of Five Rings” as we discuss the fifth rule: “Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters.”
Capacity. We define it. We analyze it and we come to the conclusion that love has infinite capacity.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Capacity]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>32</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We talk about rituals in life from big rituals to small rituals.</p>
<p>We can develop connections with people when there's a ritual, and it can be the ritual having a cup of coffee, taking a walk, going to the farmer's market or sharing a table is a beautiful ritual. And that's one of the things I would like to say is, we can benefit from getting  in the habit of sharing what we're not comfortable sharing until we're comfortable at it; for example, sharing a table with a stranger. This brings us to this episode’s nugget of wisdom from our mentor, Santa Monica.</p>
<p>Today’s topic stems from Musashi Miyamoto and the “A Book of Five Rings” as we discuss the fifth rule: “Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters.”</p>
<p>Capacity. We define it. We analyze it and we come to the conclusion that love has infinite capacity.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-32-Capacity-I-Full-Edit-Copy.wav" length="329039458"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We talk about rituals in life from big rituals to small rituals.
We can develop connections with people when there's a ritual, and it can be the ritual having a cup of coffee, taking a walk, going to the farmer's market or sharing a table is a beautiful ritual. And that's one of the things I would like to say is, we can benefit from getting  in the habit of sharing what we're not comfortable sharing until we're comfortable at it; for example, sharing a table with a stranger. This brings us to this episode’s nugget of wisdom from our mentor, Santa Monica.
Today’s topic stems from Musashi Miyamoto and the “A Book of Five Rings” as we discuss the fifth rule: “Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters.”
Capacity. We define it. We analyze it and we come to the conclusion that love has infinite capacity.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:02:10</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Unseen Forces w/ special guest Rachel Chevalier]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Mar 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/unseen-forces-w-special-guest-rachel-chevalier</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/unseen-forces-w-special-guest-rachel-chevalier</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Episode 31 “Unseen Forces”</p>
<p>Perceive those things, which cannot be seen. Understand what cannot be seen by the eye.</p>
<p>How do we access this information undetectable to the human eye?</p>
<p>How do we access information beyond the five senses? That's because we have a six tenths and everybody, every human on the planet has a sixth sense.</p>
<p><strong>“Be patient with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for answers. It cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer some distant day.</strong></p>
<p>-  Rainer Maria Rilke  Letters to a Young Poet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Rachel:</strong> “Science is huge. It's a big world, science. Everything about being human; of frequency, frequencies, you know, there's hundreds of thousands, if not, who knows, maybe unlimited numbers of frequencies and all of those frequencies are part of this creation that we belong to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Rachel:</strong> “Being able to share freely our different human experiences, this is how we all grow and evolve together into communities that care about each other's health.”</p>
<p>To reach Rachel Chevalier:<br />https://rachelchevalier.com/</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Episode 31 “Unseen Forces”
Perceive those things, which cannot be seen. Understand what cannot be seen by the eye.
How do we access this information undetectable to the human eye?
How do we access information beyond the five senses? That's because we have a six tenths and everybody, every human on the planet has a sixth sense.
“Be patient with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for answers. It cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer some distant day.
-  Rainer Maria Rilke  Letters to a Young Poet.
 
Rachel: “Science is huge. It's a big world, science. Everything about being human; of frequency, frequencies, you know, there's hundreds of thousands, if not, who knows, maybe unlimited numbers of frequencies and all of those frequencies are part of this creation that we belong to.”
 
Rachel: “Being able to share freely our different human experiences, this is how we all grow and evolve together into communities that care about each other's health.”
To reach Rachel Chevalier:https://rachelchevalier.com/]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Unseen Forces w/ special guest Rachel Chevalier]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>31</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Episode 31 “Unseen Forces”</p>
<p>Perceive those things, which cannot be seen. Understand what cannot be seen by the eye.</p>
<p>How do we access this information undetectable to the human eye?</p>
<p>How do we access information beyond the five senses? That's because we have a six tenths and everybody, every human on the planet has a sixth sense.</p>
<p><strong>“Be patient with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for answers. It cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer some distant day.</strong></p>
<p>-  Rainer Maria Rilke  Letters to a Young Poet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Rachel:</strong> “Science is huge. It's a big world, science. Everything about being human; of frequency, frequencies, you know, there's hundreds of thousands, if not, who knows, maybe unlimited numbers of frequencies and all of those frequencies are part of this creation that we belong to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Rachel:</strong> “Being able to share freely our different human experiences, this is how we all grow and evolve together into communities that care about each other's health.”</p>
<p>To reach Rachel Chevalier:<br />https://rachelchevalier.com/</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-31-Unseen-Forces-with-Rachel-Chevalier-full-edit.wav" length="375166018"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Episode 31 “Unseen Forces”
Perceive those things, which cannot be seen. Understand what cannot be seen by the eye.
How do we access this information undetectable to the human eye?
How do we access information beyond the five senses? That's because we have a six tenths and everybody, every human on the planet has a sixth sense.
“Be patient with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for answers. It cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer some distant day.
-  Rainer Maria Rilke  Letters to a Young Poet.
 
Rachel: “Science is huge. It's a big world, science. Everything about being human; of frequency, frequencies, you know, there's hundreds of thousands, if not, who knows, maybe unlimited numbers of frequencies and all of those frequencies are part of this creation that we belong to.”
 
Rachel: “Being able to share freely our different human experiences, this is how we all grow and evolve together into communities that care about each other's health.”
To reach Rachel Chevalier:https://rachelchevalier.com/]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:10:53</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Behave Yourself!]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/behave-yourself</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/behave-yourself</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p> </p>
<p><strong>2 nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica:</strong></p>
<p>Calmly and reverently carrying on, holding your center in love, no matter what is going on around you in the outside world.</p>
<p>It is an honor to be invited to someone’s home. Treat it as such.</p>
<p>We also talk about “entitlement” and what that means. What are we entitled to in life? This leads us to the topic of appreciation.</p>
<p>This week we travel to different countries (via a book and our kitchen table) to discuss how we’re supposed to behave in different countries. If we are in quarantine and can’t travel for now, might as well brush up on etiquette from different countries. Which countries do you greet with a handshake? Who kisses once on one cheek and twice on the other cheek, hold hands, not hold hands, late or punctual, to gift or not to gift when visiting someone’s house, where to not use your hands for gestures as you speak, eye contact or no eye contact, to say yes or no thank you when you are offered something, to use a fork or spoon, to compliment or not to compliment…every culture is different. We need to behave ourselves, understand each other’s customs, marvel in each other’s beauty and enjoy each other’s company when we get together again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Snippets from our talk:</strong> <br /> To take one step towards the next step; to go from left foot to right foot, is all about imbalance. It's a leap of faith because in between the steps, you don't have any balance at all; no connection to the earth. You're basically mid-flight. We work with that imbalance and get to a point where it becomes a beautiful, graceful step.</p>
<p>Walking is really kind of this controlled fall.</p>
<p>Everything is always in a state of imbalance. Just make the world more beautiful, and in a reverent way, hold that beauty until that beauty, that love, transcends everything. Even if you have misunderstandings and conflict, if it is coming from a place of love, it will be understood.</p>
<p>“If you have no peace in is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” - Mother Theresa</p>
<p>“Your words have power. Use them wisely.”  - anonymous.</p>
<p>“Raise your word, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”  - Rumi.</p>
<p>Reach out to us: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com</a></p>
<p>Insta: @befriendlyworld</p>
<p>Twitter: FriendleeBe</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ 
2 nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica:
Calmly and reverently carrying on, holding your center in love, no matter what is going on around you in the outside world.
It is an honor to be invited to someone’s home. Treat it as such.
We also talk about “entitlement” and what that means. What are we entitled to in life? This leads us to the topic of appreciation.
This week we travel to different countries (via a book and our kitchen table) to discuss how we’re supposed to behave in different countries. If we are in quarantine and can’t travel for now, might as well brush up on etiquette from different countries. Which countries do you greet with a handshake? Who kisses once on one cheek and twice on the other cheek, hold hands, not hold hands, late or punctual, to gift or not to gift when visiting someone’s house, where to not use your hands for gestures as you speak, eye contact or no eye contact, to say yes or no thank you when you are offered something, to use a fork or spoon, to compliment or not to compliment…every culture is different. We need to behave ourselves, understand each other’s customs, marvel in each other’s beauty and enjoy each other’s company when we get together again.
 
Snippets from our talk:  To take one step towards the next step; to go from left foot to right foot, is all about imbalance. It's a leap of faith because in between the steps, you don't have any balance at all; no connection to the earth. You're basically mid-flight. We work with that imbalance and get to a point where it becomes a beautiful, graceful step.
Walking is really kind of this controlled fall.
Everything is always in a state of imbalance. Just make the world more beautiful, and in a reverent way, hold that beauty until that beauty, that love, transcends everything. Even if you have misunderstandings and conflict, if it is coming from a place of love, it will be understood.
“If you have no peace in is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” - Mother Theresa
“Your words have power. Use them wisely.”  - anonymous.
“Raise your word, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”  - Rumi.
Reach out to us: www.ourfriendlyworld.com
Insta: @befriendlyworld
Twitter: FriendleeBe]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Behave Yourself!]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>30</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p> </p>
<p><strong>2 nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica:</strong></p>
<p>Calmly and reverently carrying on, holding your center in love, no matter what is going on around you in the outside world.</p>
<p>It is an honor to be invited to someone’s home. Treat it as such.</p>
<p>We also talk about “entitlement” and what that means. What are we entitled to in life? This leads us to the topic of appreciation.</p>
<p>This week we travel to different countries (via a book and our kitchen table) to discuss how we’re supposed to behave in different countries. If we are in quarantine and can’t travel for now, might as well brush up on etiquette from different countries. Which countries do you greet with a handshake? Who kisses once on one cheek and twice on the other cheek, hold hands, not hold hands, late or punctual, to gift or not to gift when visiting someone’s house, where to not use your hands for gestures as you speak, eye contact or no eye contact, to say yes or no thank you when you are offered something, to use a fork or spoon, to compliment or not to compliment…every culture is different. We need to behave ourselves, understand each other’s customs, marvel in each other’s beauty and enjoy each other’s company when we get together again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Snippets from our talk:</strong> <br /> To take one step towards the next step; to go from left foot to right foot, is all about imbalance. It's a leap of faith because in between the steps, you don't have any balance at all; no connection to the earth. You're basically mid-flight. We work with that imbalance and get to a point where it becomes a beautiful, graceful step.</p>
<p>Walking is really kind of this controlled fall.</p>
<p>Everything is always in a state of imbalance. Just make the world more beautiful, and in a reverent way, hold that beauty until that beauty, that love, transcends everything. Even if you have misunderstandings and conflict, if it is coming from a place of love, it will be understood.</p>
<p>“If you have no peace in is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” - Mother Theresa</p>
<p>“Your words have power. Use them wisely.”  - anonymous.</p>
<p>“Raise your word, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”  - Rumi.</p>
<p>Reach out to us: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com</a></p>
<p>Insta: @befriendlyworld</p>
<p>Twitter: FriendleeBe</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-30-Behave-Yourself-full-edit.wav" length="338847956"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ 
2 nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica:
Calmly and reverently carrying on, holding your center in love, no matter what is going on around you in the outside world.
It is an honor to be invited to someone’s home. Treat it as such.
We also talk about “entitlement” and what that means. What are we entitled to in life? This leads us to the topic of appreciation.
This week we travel to different countries (via a book and our kitchen table) to discuss how we’re supposed to behave in different countries. If we are in quarantine and can’t travel for now, might as well brush up on etiquette from different countries. Which countries do you greet with a handshake? Who kisses once on one cheek and twice on the other cheek, hold hands, not hold hands, late or punctual, to gift or not to gift when visiting someone’s house, where to not use your hands for gestures as you speak, eye contact or no eye contact, to say yes or no thank you when you are offered something, to use a fork or spoon, to compliment or not to compliment…every culture is different. We need to behave ourselves, understand each other’s customs, marvel in each other’s beauty and enjoy each other’s company when we get together again.
 
Snippets from our talk:  To take one step towards the next step; to go from left foot to right foot, is all about imbalance. It's a leap of faith because in between the steps, you don't have any balance at all; no connection to the earth. You're basically mid-flight. We work with that imbalance and get to a point where it becomes a beautiful, graceful step.
Walking is really kind of this controlled fall.
Everything is always in a state of imbalance. Just make the world more beautiful, and in a reverent way, hold that beauty until that beauty, that love, transcends everything. Even if you have misunderstandings and conflict, if it is coming from a place of love, it will be understood.
“If you have no peace in is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” - Mother Theresa
“Your words have power. Use them wisely.”  - anonymous.
“Raise your word, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”  - Rumi.
Reach out to us: www.ourfriendlyworld.com
Insta: @befriendlyworld
Twitter: FriendleeBe]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/No-to-dog-pooping-on-lawn-sign.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:04:01</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Trifle]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Feb 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/trifle</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/trifle</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn shares her experience on one of her photoshoots in India and explains the correlation to the beginning of moving back to Santa Monica and a very unusual message she received (a tiny little message that normally may have gone unnoticed) that was the first of many from this city that became her mentor. This pearl of wisdom leads us to this episode’s topic of paying attention to TRIFLES.</p>
<p>Trifle definition:</p>
<p> <em>noun, </em></p>
<p>1: something of little value, substance, or importance</p>
<p>2: A small quantity or amount of anything.</p>
<p>3: Pewter of medium hardness.</p>
<p>4: a dessert typically consisting of plain or sponge cake often soaked with wine or spirits (such as brandy or rum) and topped with layers of preserves, custard, and cream</p>
<p><em>Verb,</em></p>
<p>5: to deal lightly or without due seriousness or respect.</p>
<p>6: to amuse oneself daily</p>
<p>7:  to play or toy with</p>
<p>8: to act or talk in an idle or frivolous way.</p>
<p>9: Nine to waste time to idol,</p>
<p>10: to pass or spend time idly or frivolously</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fawn and Matt discuss A Book of Five Rings and the philosophy of Musashi Miyamoto, a Japanese samurai, from whom the lesson “pay attention to trifles” comes from.</p>
<p><strong>Teaching from Fawn’s college professor, Hank Wessel:</strong> pay attention to what seems boring or normal. And in that, you'll find immense beauty and profound, mysterious qualities. Pay attention to things that everyone ignores. That is where the genius is.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn’s thought:</strong> This also goes for paying attention to ideas and people that often go ignored. Pay attention to the aspects that the main stream is not looking at. The qualities and details that most people do not look at, recognize, or see, is really the thing that is the most interesting and soon to be followed by these same masses that have to be shown by other “trend setters” as what is cool or beautiful. The masses are just stragglers on the wave of profound thought. They are piggy backers.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> <strong>If you stay alert and aware, even when everything seems so ordinary, you can spot the extraordinary. </strong>That's, when sometimes you'll see $20 on the street or, you know, you'll be paying attention and somebody will say something that'll key something. One of those interesting moments, and it's a way to become closer to people. People love to tell you about the things they feel passionate or interested in, but sometimes they only hint at it or they give you a whisper… They'll say one word and you can choose to follow them down the rabbit hole or not.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> Sometimes it's not a word (that exists as a trifle). Sometimes it's the disappearing of the lips that will happen in a split second. There are micro movements people make that will tell you everything in a tiny split second of a shrug of a shoulder will tell you everything.  If someone's in pain and they're hiding something, or when their lips disappear, it means the person is not comfortable hearing or seeing something that's in front of them. Paying attention to the tiny details will give us a better understanding of one another and therefore better friendships; and not just with friendships, but with family. Like especially with kids: Question: “How are you doing?” Answer: “Fine.” Question: “What'd you learn today?” Answer: “Nothing”.  But within those short statements we'll come across with a shrug of a shoulder, which means there's something uneasy, something that they're not sure about. So we have to figure out a way to communicate past that trifle of statements. If someone asks you how you're doing and really we're trained in society to say “fine, how are YOU?” where we can't really unload our pain because it'll scare off or overwhelm the person who asked you how you’ve been. But paying attention to what their eyes say or some tiny little detail (could be anything it's different for everyone)...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn shares her experience on one of her photoshoots in India and explains the correlation to the beginning of moving back to Santa Monica and a very unusual message she received (a tiny little message that normally may have gone unnoticed) that was the first of many from this city that became her mentor. This pearl of wisdom leads us to this episode’s topic of paying attention to TRIFLES.
Trifle definition:
 noun, 
1: something of little value, substance, or importance
2: A small quantity or amount of anything.
3: Pewter of medium hardness.
4: a dessert typically consisting of plain or sponge cake often soaked with wine or spirits (such as brandy or rum) and topped with layers of preserves, custard, and cream
Verb,
5: to deal lightly or without due seriousness or respect.
6: to amuse oneself daily
7:  to play or toy with
8: to act or talk in an idle or frivolous way.
9: Nine to waste time to idol,
10: to pass or spend time idly or frivolously
 
Fawn and Matt discuss A Book of Five Rings and the philosophy of Musashi Miyamoto, a Japanese samurai, from whom the lesson “pay attention to trifles” comes from.
Teaching from Fawn’s college professor, Hank Wessel: pay attention to what seems boring or normal. And in that, you'll find immense beauty and profound, mysterious qualities. Pay attention to things that everyone ignores. That is where the genius is.
Fawn’s thought: This also goes for paying attention to ideas and people that often go ignored. Pay attention to the aspects that the main stream is not looking at. The qualities and details that most people do not look at, recognize, or see, is really the thing that is the most interesting and soon to be followed by these same masses that have to be shown by other “trend setters” as what is cool or beautiful. The masses are just stragglers on the wave of profound thought. They are piggy backers.
Matt: If you stay alert and aware, even when everything seems so ordinary, you can spot the extraordinary. That's, when sometimes you'll see $20 on the street or, you know, you'll be paying attention and somebody will say something that'll key something. One of those interesting moments, and it's a way to become closer to people. People love to tell you about the things they feel passionate or interested in, but sometimes they only hint at it or they give you a whisper… They'll say one word and you can choose to follow them down the rabbit hole or not.
Fawn: Sometimes it's not a word (that exists as a trifle). Sometimes it's the disappearing of the lips that will happen in a split second. There are micro movements people make that will tell you everything in a tiny split second of a shrug of a shoulder will tell you everything.  If someone's in pain and they're hiding something, or when their lips disappear, it means the person is not comfortable hearing or seeing something that's in front of them. Paying attention to the tiny details will give us a better understanding of one another and therefore better friendships; and not just with friendships, but with family. Like especially with kids: Question: “How are you doing?” Answer: “Fine.” Question: “What'd you learn today?” Answer: “Nothing”.  But within those short statements we'll come across with a shrug of a shoulder, which means there's something uneasy, something that they're not sure about. So we have to figure out a way to communicate past that trifle of statements. If someone asks you how you're doing and really we're trained in society to say “fine, how are YOU?” where we can't really unload our pain because it'll scare off or overwhelm the person who asked you how you’ve been. But paying attention to what their eyes say or some tiny little detail (could be anything it's different for everyone)...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Trifle]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>28</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn shares her experience on one of her photoshoots in India and explains the correlation to the beginning of moving back to Santa Monica and a very unusual message she received (a tiny little message that normally may have gone unnoticed) that was the first of many from this city that became her mentor. This pearl of wisdom leads us to this episode’s topic of paying attention to TRIFLES.</p>
<p>Trifle definition:</p>
<p> <em>noun, </em></p>
<p>1: something of little value, substance, or importance</p>
<p>2: A small quantity or amount of anything.</p>
<p>3: Pewter of medium hardness.</p>
<p>4: a dessert typically consisting of plain or sponge cake often soaked with wine or spirits (such as brandy or rum) and topped with layers of preserves, custard, and cream</p>
<p><em>Verb,</em></p>
<p>5: to deal lightly or without due seriousness or respect.</p>
<p>6: to amuse oneself daily</p>
<p>7:  to play or toy with</p>
<p>8: to act or talk in an idle or frivolous way.</p>
<p>9: Nine to waste time to idol,</p>
<p>10: to pass or spend time idly or frivolously</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fawn and Matt discuss A Book of Five Rings and the philosophy of Musashi Miyamoto, a Japanese samurai, from whom the lesson “pay attention to trifles” comes from.</p>
<p><strong>Teaching from Fawn’s college professor, Hank Wessel:</strong> pay attention to what seems boring or normal. And in that, you'll find immense beauty and profound, mysterious qualities. Pay attention to things that everyone ignores. That is where the genius is.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn’s thought:</strong> This also goes for paying attention to ideas and people that often go ignored. Pay attention to the aspects that the main stream is not looking at. The qualities and details that most people do not look at, recognize, or see, is really the thing that is the most interesting and soon to be followed by these same masses that have to be shown by other “trend setters” as what is cool or beautiful. The masses are just stragglers on the wave of profound thought. They are piggy backers.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> <strong>If you stay alert and aware, even when everything seems so ordinary, you can spot the extraordinary. </strong>That's, when sometimes you'll see $20 on the street or, you know, you'll be paying attention and somebody will say something that'll key something. One of those interesting moments, and it's a way to become closer to people. People love to tell you about the things they feel passionate or interested in, but sometimes they only hint at it or they give you a whisper… They'll say one word and you can choose to follow them down the rabbit hole or not.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> Sometimes it's not a word (that exists as a trifle). Sometimes it's the disappearing of the lips that will happen in a split second. There are micro movements people make that will tell you everything in a tiny split second of a shrug of a shoulder will tell you everything.  If someone's in pain and they're hiding something, or when their lips disappear, it means the person is not comfortable hearing or seeing something that's in front of them. Paying attention to the tiny details will give us a better understanding of one another and therefore better friendships; and not just with friendships, but with family. Like especially with kids: Question: “How are you doing?” Answer: “Fine.” Question: “What'd you learn today?” Answer: “Nothing”.  But within those short statements we'll come across with a shrug of a shoulder, which means there's something uneasy, something that they're not sure about. So we have to figure out a way to communicate past that trifle of statements. If someone asks you how you're doing and really we're trained in society to say “fine, how are YOU?” where we can't really unload our pain because it'll scare off or overwhelm the person who asked you how you’ve been. But paying attention to what their eyes say or some tiny little detail (could be anything it's different for everyone), but paying attention to that could save their life or give them love. Pursue that one tiny trifle that you pick up and don't ignore it.</p>
<p><strong>Matt: “People like to open doors and leave it open to other people to figure out whether or not they want to go through them.”</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the close of the show, we discuss the loneliness epidemic and how finaly we are talking about the loneliness issue because of the pandemic of the corona virus. The truth is our friendship culture has been fragmented for a long time.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “…truth is a hard thing. That's why advertising exists in the first place is an attempt for us to deny truth; for example: My life will be super spectacular if I get that as UV, Cause I'll go kayaking and wind surfing and you know, base jumping (Yeah. Right).  And that's why advertising exists. It's offering a quick fix to kind of deep seated issues, even though it doesn't, it offers the illusion of a quick fix.”</p>
<p><strong>Fawn about the New Year:</strong> Every day is a new year. Don't disrespect the previous year, no matter how many hardships that offered it, brought you very gingerly and perfectly in a way to this new time. And. It scares me when people celebrate New Years like “Woo, yay! F you! Good riddance” about the year they’re leaving behind because the the next year they're saying the same thing about this year (basically saying an “F-you” to every year). It’s like having a two faced friend say, Oh, I love you. Oh, I hate her. Do you know what I mean? Don't do that with your time. It's all precious. And if you are here, and you're hearing these words and you're breathing, you were brought gingerly into this time and you belong here. You are meant to be here right now. Honor every day.</p>
<p>Please support our podcast by leaving a review On iTunes</p>
<p>visit us at www.ourfriendltworld.com</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-28-Trifle-full-edit.wav" length="323745276"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn shares her experience on one of her photoshoots in India and explains the correlation to the beginning of moving back to Santa Monica and a very unusual message she received (a tiny little message that normally may have gone unnoticed) that was the first of many from this city that became her mentor. This pearl of wisdom leads us to this episode’s topic of paying attention to TRIFLES.
Trifle definition:
 noun, 
1: something of little value, substance, or importance
2: A small quantity or amount of anything.
3: Pewter of medium hardness.
4: a dessert typically consisting of plain or sponge cake often soaked with wine or spirits (such as brandy or rum) and topped with layers of preserves, custard, and cream
Verb,
5: to deal lightly or without due seriousness or respect.
6: to amuse oneself daily
7:  to play or toy with
8: to act or talk in an idle or frivolous way.
9: Nine to waste time to idol,
10: to pass or spend time idly or frivolously
 
Fawn and Matt discuss A Book of Five Rings and the philosophy of Musashi Miyamoto, a Japanese samurai, from whom the lesson “pay attention to trifles” comes from.
Teaching from Fawn’s college professor, Hank Wessel: pay attention to what seems boring or normal. And in that, you'll find immense beauty and profound, mysterious qualities. Pay attention to things that everyone ignores. That is where the genius is.
Fawn’s thought: This also goes for paying attention to ideas and people that often go ignored. Pay attention to the aspects that the main stream is not looking at. The qualities and details that most people do not look at, recognize, or see, is really the thing that is the most interesting and soon to be followed by these same masses that have to be shown by other “trend setters” as what is cool or beautiful. The masses are just stragglers on the wave of profound thought. They are piggy backers.
Matt: If you stay alert and aware, even when everything seems so ordinary, you can spot the extraordinary. That's, when sometimes you'll see $20 on the street or, you know, you'll be paying attention and somebody will say something that'll key something. One of those interesting moments, and it's a way to become closer to people. People love to tell you about the things they feel passionate or interested in, but sometimes they only hint at it or they give you a whisper… They'll say one word and you can choose to follow them down the rabbit hole or not.
Fawn: Sometimes it's not a word (that exists as a trifle). Sometimes it's the disappearing of the lips that will happen in a split second. There are micro movements people make that will tell you everything in a tiny split second of a shrug of a shoulder will tell you everything.  If someone's in pain and they're hiding something, or when their lips disappear, it means the person is not comfortable hearing or seeing something that's in front of them. Paying attention to the tiny details will give us a better understanding of one another and therefore better friendships; and not just with friendships, but with family. Like especially with kids: Question: “How are you doing?” Answer: “Fine.” Question: “What'd you learn today?” Answer: “Nothing”.  But within those short statements we'll come across with a shrug of a shoulder, which means there's something uneasy, something that they're not sure about. So we have to figure out a way to communicate past that trifle of statements. If someone asks you how you're doing and really we're trained in society to say “fine, how are YOU?” where we can't really unload our pain because it'll scare off or overwhelm the person who asked you how you’ve been. But paying attention to what their eyes say or some tiny little detail (could be anything it's different for everyone)...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Lone-left-foot-imprint-on-blue-stairs.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:01:10</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[I Need a Friend]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Feb 2021 16:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/i-need-a-friend</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/i-need-a-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This episode features our friend Paul Martin. He songs to us and IT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! He IS AMAZING!</p>
<p>First:</p>
<p><strong>Santa Monica pearl of wisdom from 5<sup>th</sup> floor quiet painter neighbor.</strong> You never truly know what someone’s life experience is until you are invited in, or you invite THEM in.Sometimes you may look at a person you think, “Oh my God, I am probably not their cup of tea. They will probably hate me”, or you can see major differences between you, and that “there's no way that this person will like me”. Give it a chance. You never know!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fawn and Matt share their difficult weekend as Fawn pushes back the tears of her sadness and anxiety, and tells how she had to type the words “I NEED A FRIEND” to her friend Beth Hewitt (of the podcast “Visualize You w/ Beth Hewitt). Fawn describes how that changed everything and reads what Beth wrote back to her, out loud for any of you to receive Beth’s words to help you feel better as they helped Fawn. All the tears and emotions happen before Fawn and Matt introduce their honored guest Paul Martin, who wisely and kindly says: “It's really nice to hear you embracing your sadness… what I've learned, especially over the past few years of, you know, I used to be, um, an alcoholic and an addict or thing that pushed away me embracing all of those certain feelings and now that I'm clean, I get to fully embrace them. And <strong>even sadness has like a true kind of beauty </strong>with that. In a weird way, <strong>it has its own yeah sacred, special place.</strong> Um, but <strong>to truly feel it and like engage and embrace it like you did. It's just like, it works wonders.</strong> And in a weird way, like if you have the, like the perception of the it's there for a reason, you can actually sometimes like, enjoy it whilst it's happening as well; not just the benefits after”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fawn, Matt, and Paul discuss how different cultures handle emotions and drugs. We discuss embracing each other’s emotions and what we should do when we see someone crying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Paul’s music is an embrace from an old, caring, loving, entity:</p>
<p>And as Paul says: <strong>“…getting in touch with that vulnerability of letting go and staying in that safe space”</strong> is what it’s about. <strong>“…so there's feelings can come up and they can just feel that beauty of light. Like that's a kind of, that's like a happy sadness, and it's very important, I think, to get in touch with that side of your emotions.”</strong></p>
<p>We also talk MEDITATION, as Paul is not only a super talented Musician, but also a meditation coach who studied in Thailand.</p>
<p><strong>Paul:</strong> “…we're put here is to understand life and experience life and to understand the difference between yin and yang, what we perceive as good and bad.”</p>
<p><strong>Paul:</strong> “all anger derives really from the sadness.”</p>
<p>We get into the discussion of social media…</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> “So I think social media is actually parallel to real life because in real life, I mean, I'll just speak for the communities we've noticed in the culture we've noticed in the United States, where so much is is superficial and you know, it's just superficial and you're not really there for each other, right. It's just, you're going to present the best face possible. You're going to present yourself as the greatest, the best, the richest, the prettiest, whatever, but very few people actually. Well, like, be real with you and have a heart to heart, total open path, open sec, you know, open segway; open heart.  And it's the same in social media. That's what I think some people are now piercing through is that superficialness. It happens outside of social media.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To reach and hear more of Lotus:</p>
<p> <a href="https://www.lotusmusic.co.uk/">https://www.lotusmusic.co.uk/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/lotusmusic.co.uk/">https://www.instagram....</a></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This episode features our friend Paul Martin. He songs to us and IT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! He IS AMAZING!
First:
Santa Monica pearl of wisdom from 5th floor quiet painter neighbor. You never truly know what someone’s life experience is until you are invited in, or you invite THEM in.Sometimes you may look at a person you think, “Oh my God, I am probably not their cup of tea. They will probably hate me”, or you can see major differences between you, and that “there's no way that this person will like me”. Give it a chance. You never know!
 
Fawn and Matt share their difficult weekend as Fawn pushes back the tears of her sadness and anxiety, and tells how she had to type the words “I NEED A FRIEND” to her friend Beth Hewitt (of the podcast “Visualize You w/ Beth Hewitt). Fawn describes how that changed everything and reads what Beth wrote back to her, out loud for any of you to receive Beth’s words to help you feel better as they helped Fawn. All the tears and emotions happen before Fawn and Matt introduce their honored guest Paul Martin, who wisely and kindly says: “It's really nice to hear you embracing your sadness… what I've learned, especially over the past few years of, you know, I used to be, um, an alcoholic and an addict or thing that pushed away me embracing all of those certain feelings and now that I'm clean, I get to fully embrace them. And even sadness has like a true kind of beauty with that. In a weird way, it has its own yeah sacred, special place. Um, but to truly feel it and like engage and embrace it like you did. It's just like, it works wonders. And in a weird way, like if you have the, like the perception of the it's there for a reason, you can actually sometimes like, enjoy it whilst it's happening as well; not just the benefits after”.
 
Fawn, Matt, and Paul discuss how different cultures handle emotions and drugs. We discuss embracing each other’s emotions and what we should do when we see someone crying.
 
Paul’s music is an embrace from an old, caring, loving, entity:
And as Paul says: “…getting in touch with that vulnerability of letting go and staying in that safe space” is what it’s about. “…so there's feelings can come up and they can just feel that beauty of light. Like that's a kind of, that's like a happy sadness, and it's very important, I think, to get in touch with that side of your emotions.”
We also talk MEDITATION, as Paul is not only a super talented Musician, but also a meditation coach who studied in Thailand.
Paul: “…we're put here is to understand life and experience life and to understand the difference between yin and yang, what we perceive as good and bad.”
Paul: “all anger derives really from the sadness.”
We get into the discussion of social media…
Fawn: “So I think social media is actually parallel to real life because in real life, I mean, I'll just speak for the communities we've noticed in the culture we've noticed in the United States, where so much is is superficial and you know, it's just superficial and you're not really there for each other, right. It's just, you're going to present the best face possible. You're going to present yourself as the greatest, the best, the richest, the prettiest, whatever, but very few people actually. Well, like, be real with you and have a heart to heart, total open path, open sec, you know, open segway; open heart.  And it's the same in social media. That's what I think some people are now piercing through is that superficialness. It happens outside of social media.”
 
To reach and hear more of Lotus:
 https://www.lotusmusic.co.uk/
https://www.instagram....]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[I Need a Friend]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>27</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This episode features our friend Paul Martin. He songs to us and IT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! He IS AMAZING!</p>
<p>First:</p>
<p><strong>Santa Monica pearl of wisdom from 5<sup>th</sup> floor quiet painter neighbor.</strong> You never truly know what someone’s life experience is until you are invited in, or you invite THEM in.Sometimes you may look at a person you think, “Oh my God, I am probably not their cup of tea. They will probably hate me”, or you can see major differences between you, and that “there's no way that this person will like me”. Give it a chance. You never know!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fawn and Matt share their difficult weekend as Fawn pushes back the tears of her sadness and anxiety, and tells how she had to type the words “I NEED A FRIEND” to her friend Beth Hewitt (of the podcast “Visualize You w/ Beth Hewitt). Fawn describes how that changed everything and reads what Beth wrote back to her, out loud for any of you to receive Beth’s words to help you feel better as they helped Fawn. All the tears and emotions happen before Fawn and Matt introduce their honored guest Paul Martin, who wisely and kindly says: “It's really nice to hear you embracing your sadness… what I've learned, especially over the past few years of, you know, I used to be, um, an alcoholic and an addict or thing that pushed away me embracing all of those certain feelings and now that I'm clean, I get to fully embrace them. And <strong>even sadness has like a true kind of beauty </strong>with that. In a weird way, <strong>it has its own yeah sacred, special place.</strong> Um, but <strong>to truly feel it and like engage and embrace it like you did. It's just like, it works wonders.</strong> And in a weird way, like if you have the, like the perception of the it's there for a reason, you can actually sometimes like, enjoy it whilst it's happening as well; not just the benefits after”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fawn, Matt, and Paul discuss how different cultures handle emotions and drugs. We discuss embracing each other’s emotions and what we should do when we see someone crying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Paul’s music is an embrace from an old, caring, loving, entity:</p>
<p>And as Paul says: <strong>“…getting in touch with that vulnerability of letting go and staying in that safe space”</strong> is what it’s about. <strong>“…so there's feelings can come up and they can just feel that beauty of light. Like that's a kind of, that's like a happy sadness, and it's very important, I think, to get in touch with that side of your emotions.”</strong></p>
<p>We also talk MEDITATION, as Paul is not only a super talented Musician, but also a meditation coach who studied in Thailand.</p>
<p><strong>Paul:</strong> “…we're put here is to understand life and experience life and to understand the difference between yin and yang, what we perceive as good and bad.”</p>
<p><strong>Paul:</strong> “all anger derives really from the sadness.”</p>
<p>We get into the discussion of social media…</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> “So I think social media is actually parallel to real life because in real life, I mean, I'll just speak for the communities we've noticed in the culture we've noticed in the United States, where so much is is superficial and you know, it's just superficial and you're not really there for each other, right. It's just, you're going to present the best face possible. You're going to present yourself as the greatest, the best, the richest, the prettiest, whatever, but very few people actually. Well, like, be real with you and have a heart to heart, total open path, open sec, you know, open segway; open heart.  And it's the same in social media. That's what I think some people are now piercing through is that superficialness. It happens outside of social media.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To reach and hear more of Lotus:</p>
<p> <a href="https://www.lotusmusic.co.uk/">https://www.lotusmusic.co.uk/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/lotusmusic.co.uk/">https://www.instagram.com/lotusmusic.co.uk/</a></p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-27-redo-full-edit.wav" length="393345650"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This episode features our friend Paul Martin. He songs to us and IT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! He IS AMAZING!
First:
Santa Monica pearl of wisdom from 5th floor quiet painter neighbor. You never truly know what someone’s life experience is until you are invited in, or you invite THEM in.Sometimes you may look at a person you think, “Oh my God, I am probably not their cup of tea. They will probably hate me”, or you can see major differences between you, and that “there's no way that this person will like me”. Give it a chance. You never know!
 
Fawn and Matt share their difficult weekend as Fawn pushes back the tears of her sadness and anxiety, and tells how she had to type the words “I NEED A FRIEND” to her friend Beth Hewitt (of the podcast “Visualize You w/ Beth Hewitt). Fawn describes how that changed everything and reads what Beth wrote back to her, out loud for any of you to receive Beth’s words to help you feel better as they helped Fawn. All the tears and emotions happen before Fawn and Matt introduce their honored guest Paul Martin, who wisely and kindly says: “It's really nice to hear you embracing your sadness… what I've learned, especially over the past few years of, you know, I used to be, um, an alcoholic and an addict or thing that pushed away me embracing all of those certain feelings and now that I'm clean, I get to fully embrace them. And even sadness has like a true kind of beauty with that. In a weird way, it has its own yeah sacred, special place. Um, but to truly feel it and like engage and embrace it like you did. It's just like, it works wonders. And in a weird way, like if you have the, like the perception of the it's there for a reason, you can actually sometimes like, enjoy it whilst it's happening as well; not just the benefits after”.
 
Fawn, Matt, and Paul discuss how different cultures handle emotions and drugs. We discuss embracing each other’s emotions and what we should do when we see someone crying.
 
Paul’s music is an embrace from an old, caring, loving, entity:
And as Paul says: “…getting in touch with that vulnerability of letting go and staying in that safe space” is what it’s about. “…so there's feelings can come up and they can just feel that beauty of light. Like that's a kind of, that's like a happy sadness, and it's very important, I think, to get in touch with that side of your emotions.”
We also talk MEDITATION, as Paul is not only a super talented Musician, but also a meditation coach who studied in Thailand.
Paul: “…we're put here is to understand life and experience life and to understand the difference between yin and yang, what we perceive as good and bad.”
Paul: “all anger derives really from the sadness.”
We get into the discussion of social media…
Fawn: “So I think social media is actually parallel to real life because in real life, I mean, I'll just speak for the communities we've noticed in the culture we've noticed in the United States, where so much is is superficial and you know, it's just superficial and you're not really there for each other, right. It's just, you're going to present the best face possible. You're going to present yourself as the greatest, the best, the richest, the prettiest, whatever, but very few people actually. Well, like, be real with you and have a heart to heart, total open path, open sec, you know, open segway; open heart.  And it's the same in social media. That's what I think some people are now piercing through is that superficialness. It happens outside of social media.”
 
To reach and hear more of Lotus:
 https://www.lotusmusic.co.uk/
https://www.instagram....]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:14:19</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Prosperare (Prosperity)]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 Feb 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/prosperare-prosperity</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/prosperare-prosperity</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Show notes #26 Prosperare</p>
<p>Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica – receiving a treat through your window, just exactly when you need it.</p>
<p>Prosperity – PRO= towards Spera=hope</p>
<p>spera. sperare Verb = hope for, hope.  Looking at prosperity. Pro pro means towards. Sparity Comes from Spera it's  Latin, Spera means hope. Prosperity, if we break it down means towards hope.   My question is how can we look towards hope? What is prosperity?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> “Prosperity is a universe inside of you. Do not look outside at other people. When you find yourself looking at your friends and feeling like you're left out, that right there is the opposite of prosperity. That is scarcity.”</p>
<p><strong>???: </strong> How can we go from hopeless to hopeful? How can we go from feeling left out, shut out and uncared for to realizing a muffin flying through your window?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> “You can use scarcity as a tool. You can use it as anger for fuel, enough to get you to a point where you're realizing you're not where you want to be. That's okay. When you feel that, instead of continuing on with that feeling of jealousy or hopelessness, we can use that feeling to get to our own core and find what we need.</p>
<p>If I find myself feeling left out like that, that left out feeling, I'll go in the bed under the blankets and maybe have a good cry, go inside and think about my own universe; the universe inside of me. That's where my genius is. That is where it is for all of us.  It’s at that center where it all gets activated. Some people call that place “the unknown” “the void”; a place where the focus is not on anything or anyone else but it is where genius is. The universe at your core will begin to magnify. From there, anything you focus on becomes activated becomes a magnet for your greatest desires, guaranteed.</p>
<p>That's how I get my mind into the mode of prosperity. I either bake cupcakes or have a good cry. I rebuild my universe inside of myself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “Now you see, the way I come to it is I like to surround myself with wonderful people and I've been very blessed knock on wood that I've been able to do this with both my friends and my family. And for me, when I hear about one of my friends doing something awesome, I'm very stoked for them. I'm extremely stoked for them.</p>
<p>And typically I want to find out, well, how did it happen? Because maybe there's a template in it that I could follow, or at least it gives me a better understanding of them as a person. Now, when I feel down and everybody does it, it depends on the type of down obviously. But, if it's specifically related to work, I find one of the easiest ways for me to feel better is for me to go through my list of past accomplishments.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And I've done some (in my mind at least) pretty amazing things as a software developer, as you all know. I build things from nothing. So it's just kind of like, it's almost like imposing your will upon a blank sheet of paper and making something that you can be very happy with, or that someone else can be very happy with because maybe you're creating it for someone else. And so that process, that creative process is very hard to not make you feel like this, a limitless abundance out there because you realize the I. When I first started working on this, I was a complete idiot. And then I figured stuff out and I got a little smarter and a little smarter and a little smarter, a little smarter until, “wow, I did this really amazing thing.” If it comes down to less of , a work-related and more of a,  financial , kind of world then I look at the things that I do have, those material possessions , and I see the wealth and the places I've chosen to invest my money as it were. And  I look at my rack of music. I look at my bookcase, and I see the real abundance there and the fact that there is limitless potential out there. And these things start to shift in my head...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Show notes #26 Prosperare
Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica – receiving a treat through your window, just exactly when you need it.
Prosperity – PRO= towards Spera=hope
spera. sperare Verb = hope for, hope.  Looking at prosperity. Pro pro means towards. Sparity Comes from Spera it's  Latin, Spera means hope. Prosperity, if we break it down means towards hope.   My question is how can we look towards hope? What is prosperity?
Fawn: “Prosperity is a universe inside of you. Do not look outside at other people. When you find yourself looking at your friends and feeling like you're left out, that right there is the opposite of prosperity. That is scarcity.”
???:  How can we go from hopeless to hopeful? How can we go from feeling left out, shut out and uncared for to realizing a muffin flying through your window?
Fawn: “You can use scarcity as a tool. You can use it as anger for fuel, enough to get you to a point where you're realizing you're not where you want to be. That's okay. When you feel that, instead of continuing on with that feeling of jealousy or hopelessness, we can use that feeling to get to our own core and find what we need.
If I find myself feeling left out like that, that left out feeling, I'll go in the bed under the blankets and maybe have a good cry, go inside and think about my own universe; the universe inside of me. That's where my genius is. That is where it is for all of us.  It’s at that center where it all gets activated. Some people call that place “the unknown” “the void”; a place where the focus is not on anything or anyone else but it is where genius is. The universe at your core will begin to magnify. From there, anything you focus on becomes activated becomes a magnet for your greatest desires, guaranteed.
That's how I get my mind into the mode of prosperity. I either bake cupcakes or have a good cry. I rebuild my universe inside of myself.”
 
Matt: “Now you see, the way I come to it is I like to surround myself with wonderful people and I've been very blessed knock on wood that I've been able to do this with both my friends and my family. And for me, when I hear about one of my friends doing something awesome, I'm very stoked for them. I'm extremely stoked for them.
And typically I want to find out, well, how did it happen? Because maybe there's a template in it that I could follow, or at least it gives me a better understanding of them as a person. Now, when I feel down and everybody does it, it depends on the type of down obviously. But, if it's specifically related to work, I find one of the easiest ways for me to feel better is for me to go through my list of past accomplishments.
 
And I've done some (in my mind at least) pretty amazing things as a software developer, as you all know. I build things from nothing. So it's just kind of like, it's almost like imposing your will upon a blank sheet of paper and making something that you can be very happy with, or that someone else can be very happy with because maybe you're creating it for someone else. And so that process, that creative process is very hard to not make you feel like this, a limitless abundance out there because you realize the I. When I first started working on this, I was a complete idiot. And then I figured stuff out and I got a little smarter and a little smarter and a little smarter, a little smarter until, “wow, I did this really amazing thing.” If it comes down to less of , a work-related and more of a,  financial , kind of world then I look at the things that I do have, those material possessions , and I see the wealth and the places I've chosen to invest my money as it were. And  I look at my rack of music. I look at my bookcase, and I see the real abundance there and the fact that there is limitless potential out there. And these things start to shift in my head...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Prosperare (Prosperity)]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>26</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Show notes #26 Prosperare</p>
<p>Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica – receiving a treat through your window, just exactly when you need it.</p>
<p>Prosperity – PRO= towards Spera=hope</p>
<p>spera. sperare Verb = hope for, hope.  Looking at prosperity. Pro pro means towards. Sparity Comes from Spera it's  Latin, Spera means hope. Prosperity, if we break it down means towards hope.   My question is how can we look towards hope? What is prosperity?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> “Prosperity is a universe inside of you. Do not look outside at other people. When you find yourself looking at your friends and feeling like you're left out, that right there is the opposite of prosperity. That is scarcity.”</p>
<p><strong>???: </strong> How can we go from hopeless to hopeful? How can we go from feeling left out, shut out and uncared for to realizing a muffin flying through your window?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> “You can use scarcity as a tool. You can use it as anger for fuel, enough to get you to a point where you're realizing you're not where you want to be. That's okay. When you feel that, instead of continuing on with that feeling of jealousy or hopelessness, we can use that feeling to get to our own core and find what we need.</p>
<p>If I find myself feeling left out like that, that left out feeling, I'll go in the bed under the blankets and maybe have a good cry, go inside and think about my own universe; the universe inside of me. That's where my genius is. That is where it is for all of us.  It’s at that center where it all gets activated. Some people call that place “the unknown” “the void”; a place where the focus is not on anything or anyone else but it is where genius is. The universe at your core will begin to magnify. From there, anything you focus on becomes activated becomes a magnet for your greatest desires, guaranteed.</p>
<p>That's how I get my mind into the mode of prosperity. I either bake cupcakes or have a good cry. I rebuild my universe inside of myself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “Now you see, the way I come to it is I like to surround myself with wonderful people and I've been very blessed knock on wood that I've been able to do this with both my friends and my family. And for me, when I hear about one of my friends doing something awesome, I'm very stoked for them. I'm extremely stoked for them.</p>
<p>And typically I want to find out, well, how did it happen? Because maybe there's a template in it that I could follow, or at least it gives me a better understanding of them as a person. Now, when I feel down and everybody does it, it depends on the type of down obviously. But, if it's specifically related to work, I find one of the easiest ways for me to feel better is for me to go through my list of past accomplishments.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And I've done some (in my mind at least) pretty amazing things as a software developer, as you all know. I build things from nothing. So it's just kind of like, it's almost like imposing your will upon a blank sheet of paper and making something that you can be very happy with, or that someone else can be very happy with because maybe you're creating it for someone else. And so that process, that creative process is very hard to not make you feel like this, a limitless abundance out there because you realize the I. When I first started working on this, I was a complete idiot. And then I figured stuff out and I got a little smarter and a little smarter and a little smarter, a little smarter until, “wow, I did this really amazing thing.” If it comes down to less of , a work-related and more of a,  financial , kind of world then I look at the things that I do have, those material possessions , and I see the wealth and the places I've chosen to invest my money as it were. And  I look at my rack of music. I look at my bookcase, and I see the real abundance there and the fact that there is limitless potential out there. And these things start to shift in my head and in that positive direction. And of course the ultimate trump card is getting on the horn with one of my friends and talking, be it zooming, be it on the phone. Be it however it is, just that act of communication, just their willingness to reach out, to reach back to me that willingness to have communication with me and for us to laugh and have a giggle. You know, these are the things, that make me feel just this raw sense of abundance in my world. Love, grows. And it is infinite much like prosperity. So I think love and prosperity go together.</p>
<p>So everybody goes through bad times. It's just, it's the ebb and flow of the yin and the yang. The true definition of union yang means any place you draw lines with a union symbol, half of it's black half is white, half this good half as bad, however you want to choose to interpret that. So typically, yeah, there's a certain belief that things balance out.”</p>
<p>Thank you for listening! Join our circle of friendship. <br />We would really appreciate your help by leaving us a review on iTunes and/or telling your people about our social movement and our podcast. We would be so honored if you would spread the word about this podcast.<br /><br />Write us a not through our website: www.ourfriendlyworld.com</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-26-Prospera-Full-edit.wav" length="316140368"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Show notes #26 Prosperare
Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica – receiving a treat through your window, just exactly when you need it.
Prosperity – PRO= towards Spera=hope
spera. sperare Verb = hope for, hope.  Looking at prosperity. Pro pro means towards. Sparity Comes from Spera it's  Latin, Spera means hope. Prosperity, if we break it down means towards hope.   My question is how can we look towards hope? What is prosperity?
Fawn: “Prosperity is a universe inside of you. Do not look outside at other people. When you find yourself looking at your friends and feeling like you're left out, that right there is the opposite of prosperity. That is scarcity.”
???:  How can we go from hopeless to hopeful? How can we go from feeling left out, shut out and uncared for to realizing a muffin flying through your window?
Fawn: “You can use scarcity as a tool. You can use it as anger for fuel, enough to get you to a point where you're realizing you're not where you want to be. That's okay. When you feel that, instead of continuing on with that feeling of jealousy or hopelessness, we can use that feeling to get to our own core and find what we need.
If I find myself feeling left out like that, that left out feeling, I'll go in the bed under the blankets and maybe have a good cry, go inside and think about my own universe; the universe inside of me. That's where my genius is. That is where it is for all of us.  It’s at that center where it all gets activated. Some people call that place “the unknown” “the void”; a place where the focus is not on anything or anyone else but it is where genius is. The universe at your core will begin to magnify. From there, anything you focus on becomes activated becomes a magnet for your greatest desires, guaranteed.
That's how I get my mind into the mode of prosperity. I either bake cupcakes or have a good cry. I rebuild my universe inside of myself.”
 
Matt: “Now you see, the way I come to it is I like to surround myself with wonderful people and I've been very blessed knock on wood that I've been able to do this with both my friends and my family. And for me, when I hear about one of my friends doing something awesome, I'm very stoked for them. I'm extremely stoked for them.
And typically I want to find out, well, how did it happen? Because maybe there's a template in it that I could follow, or at least it gives me a better understanding of them as a person. Now, when I feel down and everybody does it, it depends on the type of down obviously. But, if it's specifically related to work, I find one of the easiest ways for me to feel better is for me to go through my list of past accomplishments.
 
And I've done some (in my mind at least) pretty amazing things as a software developer, as you all know. I build things from nothing. So it's just kind of like, it's almost like imposing your will upon a blank sheet of paper and making something that you can be very happy with, or that someone else can be very happy with because maybe you're creating it for someone else. And so that process, that creative process is very hard to not make you feel like this, a limitless abundance out there because you realize the I. When I first started working on this, I was a complete idiot. And then I figured stuff out and I got a little smarter and a little smarter and a little smarter, a little smarter until, “wow, I did this really amazing thing.” If it comes down to less of , a work-related and more of a,  financial , kind of world then I look at the things that I do have, those material possessions , and I see the wealth and the places I've chosen to invest my money as it were. And  I look at my rack of music. I look at my bookcase, and I see the real abundance there and the fact that there is limitless potential out there. And these things start to shift in my head...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:59:44</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Peculiar]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 25 Jan 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/peculiar</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/peculiar</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Show notes #25 “Peculiar”</p>
<p>Nugget of Wisdom: Jesus and the Bread Guy – Fawn recalls “… two things, two, if you pick two things in the neighborhood, within the community that are a constant, you never thought about together at the same time; in the neighborhood, you never thought had a connection. If you take two things or two people that are consistent in the neighborhood that you never connected; like they are not going to cross, or it didn't even cross your mind, but when you see it, it makes total sense. Have you ever had an epiphany like that?” This story is about two main fixtures in the Santa Monica/ Venice neighborhood that one early morning Fawn became aware had a divine, spiritual connection to one another that brought her a deeper understanding of our connections within our community.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>PECULIAR -</strong> pe·cu·liar  /pəˈkyo͞olyər/  adjective</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>strange or odd; unusual.</strong></li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Similar words:</strong> Strange, unusual, odd, funny, curious, bizarre, weird, uncanny, queer, unexpected, unfamiliar, abnormal, atypical, anomalous, untypical, different, out of the ordinary, out of the way, exceptional, rare, extraordinary, remarkable, puzzling, mystifying, mysterious, perplexing, baffling, unaccountable, incongruous, uncommon, irregular, singular, deviant, aberrant, freak, freakish, suspicious, dubious, questionable, eerie, unnatural, bizarre, backasswards, eccentric, idiosyncratic, unconventional, outlandish, offbeat, quirky, quaint, droll, zany, off-center, wacky, freaky, kooky, screwy, oddball, off the wall</p>
<p><strong>Opposite:</strong> normal, ordinary</p>
<ol start="2">
<li><strong>Particular; special.</strong></li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Similar words:</strong> distinctive, characteristic, distinct, different, individual</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BUT ALSO: Peculiar comes from Latin peculiaris, an adjective meaning "privately owned" or "special" that is derived from the word for "property," peculium. ... Peculiar borrowed the Latin meanings of peculiaris, but it eventually came to refer to qualities possessed only by a particular individual, group, or thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>An article by Jess Zafarris: <em>The Etymoooology of “Peculiar”</em> </strong>“Peculiar” comes from the Latin peculium, literally “property in cattle,” a meaning that lingers in “peculiar to,” meaning “belonging solely to.” Its “odd” sense arose after the term evolved to mean “distinguished, special,” describing a person or thing of great wealth or renown.</p>
<p>Peculium was used to describe property in general, for cattle were considered the most important form of property, and wealth was often measured in livestock. Cows were especially considered a mark of wealth and social standing because they were used to expand the scale of crop production, to haul goods and weapons in trade and war, and were also (obviously) a rich source of protein.</p>
<p>Owning, purchasing, and breeding cattle was considered an investment in the future, and practices involving cattle were handed down from generation to generation—meaning that cattle played a not-insignificant part in establishing early ruling classes and families.</p>
<p>Peculium gave rise to peculiaris, “belonging exclusively to one person,” which carried its meaning over to English in the 15th century. From there, in the 16th century, “peculiar” came to mean “distinguished or special,” suggesting someone endowed with great wealth (not necessarily in cattle) or esteem, or something else particularly renowned or remarkable.</p>
<p>This noteworthy sense led to what might be considered a more common use of the word today, “unusual, strange, curious,” from the 17th century—though, of course, its sense of belonging specifically/especially to someone or something remains in use today as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Seth Godin on “Peculiar” -</strong> peculiar actually originates from the Latin word for cattle. It means private property. Yo...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Show notes #25 “Peculiar”
Nugget of Wisdom: Jesus and the Bread Guy – Fawn recalls “… two things, two, if you pick two things in the neighborhood, within the community that are a constant, you never thought about together at the same time; in the neighborhood, you never thought had a connection. If you take two things or two people that are consistent in the neighborhood that you never connected; like they are not going to cross, or it didn't even cross your mind, but when you see it, it makes total sense. Have you ever had an epiphany like that?” This story is about two main fixtures in the Santa Monica/ Venice neighborhood that one early morning Fawn became aware had a divine, spiritual connection to one another that brought her a deeper understanding of our connections within our community.
 
PECULIAR - pe·cu·liar  /pəˈkyo͞olyər/  adjective

strange or odd; unusual.

Similar words: Strange, unusual, odd, funny, curious, bizarre, weird, uncanny, queer, unexpected, unfamiliar, abnormal, atypical, anomalous, untypical, different, out of the ordinary, out of the way, exceptional, rare, extraordinary, remarkable, puzzling, mystifying, mysterious, perplexing, baffling, unaccountable, incongruous, uncommon, irregular, singular, deviant, aberrant, freak, freakish, suspicious, dubious, questionable, eerie, unnatural, bizarre, backasswards, eccentric, idiosyncratic, unconventional, outlandish, offbeat, quirky, quaint, droll, zany, off-center, wacky, freaky, kooky, screwy, oddball, off the wall
Opposite: normal, ordinary

Particular; special.

Similar words: distinctive, characteristic, distinct, different, individual
 
BUT ALSO: Peculiar comes from Latin peculiaris, an adjective meaning "privately owned" or "special" that is derived from the word for "property," peculium. ... Peculiar borrowed the Latin meanings of peculiaris, but it eventually came to refer to qualities possessed only by a particular individual, group, or thing.
 
An article by Jess Zafarris: The Etymoooology of “Peculiar” “Peculiar” comes from the Latin peculium, literally “property in cattle,” a meaning that lingers in “peculiar to,” meaning “belonging solely to.” Its “odd” sense arose after the term evolved to mean “distinguished, special,” describing a person or thing of great wealth or renown.
Peculium was used to describe property in general, for cattle were considered the most important form of property, and wealth was often measured in livestock. Cows were especially considered a mark of wealth and social standing because they were used to expand the scale of crop production, to haul goods and weapons in trade and war, and were also (obviously) a rich source of protein.
Owning, purchasing, and breeding cattle was considered an investment in the future, and practices involving cattle were handed down from generation to generation—meaning that cattle played a not-insignificant part in establishing early ruling classes and families.
Peculium gave rise to peculiaris, “belonging exclusively to one person,” which carried its meaning over to English in the 15th century. From there, in the 16th century, “peculiar” came to mean “distinguished or special,” suggesting someone endowed with great wealth (not necessarily in cattle) or esteem, or something else particularly renowned or remarkable.
This noteworthy sense led to what might be considered a more common use of the word today, “unusual, strange, curious,” from the 17th century—though, of course, its sense of belonging specifically/especially to someone or something remains in use today as well.
 
Seth Godin on “Peculiar” - peculiar actually originates from the Latin word for cattle. It means private property. Yo...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Peculiar]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>25</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Show notes #25 “Peculiar”</p>
<p>Nugget of Wisdom: Jesus and the Bread Guy – Fawn recalls “… two things, two, if you pick two things in the neighborhood, within the community that are a constant, you never thought about together at the same time; in the neighborhood, you never thought had a connection. If you take two things or two people that are consistent in the neighborhood that you never connected; like they are not going to cross, or it didn't even cross your mind, but when you see it, it makes total sense. Have you ever had an epiphany like that?” This story is about two main fixtures in the Santa Monica/ Venice neighborhood that one early morning Fawn became aware had a divine, spiritual connection to one another that brought her a deeper understanding of our connections within our community.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>PECULIAR -</strong> pe·cu·liar  /pəˈkyo͞olyər/  adjective</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>strange or odd; unusual.</strong></li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Similar words:</strong> Strange, unusual, odd, funny, curious, bizarre, weird, uncanny, queer, unexpected, unfamiliar, abnormal, atypical, anomalous, untypical, different, out of the ordinary, out of the way, exceptional, rare, extraordinary, remarkable, puzzling, mystifying, mysterious, perplexing, baffling, unaccountable, incongruous, uncommon, irregular, singular, deviant, aberrant, freak, freakish, suspicious, dubious, questionable, eerie, unnatural, bizarre, backasswards, eccentric, idiosyncratic, unconventional, outlandish, offbeat, quirky, quaint, droll, zany, off-center, wacky, freaky, kooky, screwy, oddball, off the wall</p>
<p><strong>Opposite:</strong> normal, ordinary</p>
<ol start="2">
<li><strong>Particular; special.</strong></li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Similar words:</strong> distinctive, characteristic, distinct, different, individual</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BUT ALSO: Peculiar comes from Latin peculiaris, an adjective meaning "privately owned" or "special" that is derived from the word for "property," peculium. ... Peculiar borrowed the Latin meanings of peculiaris, but it eventually came to refer to qualities possessed only by a particular individual, group, or thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>An article by Jess Zafarris: <em>The Etymoooology of “Peculiar”</em> </strong>“Peculiar” comes from the Latin peculium, literally “property in cattle,” a meaning that lingers in “peculiar to,” meaning “belonging solely to.” Its “odd” sense arose after the term evolved to mean “distinguished, special,” describing a person or thing of great wealth or renown.</p>
<p>Peculium was used to describe property in general, for cattle were considered the most important form of property, and wealth was often measured in livestock. Cows were especially considered a mark of wealth and social standing because they were used to expand the scale of crop production, to haul goods and weapons in trade and war, and were also (obviously) a rich source of protein.</p>
<p>Owning, purchasing, and breeding cattle was considered an investment in the future, and practices involving cattle were handed down from generation to generation—meaning that cattle played a not-insignificant part in establishing early ruling classes and families.</p>
<p>Peculium gave rise to peculiaris, “belonging exclusively to one person,” which carried its meaning over to English in the 15th century. From there, in the 16th century, “peculiar” came to mean “distinguished or special,” suggesting someone endowed with great wealth (not necessarily in cattle) or esteem, or something else particularly renowned or remarkable.</p>
<p>This noteworthy sense led to what might be considered a more common use of the word today, “unusual, strange, curious,” from the 17th century—though, of course, its sense of belonging specifically/especially to someone or something remains in use today as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Seth Godin on “Peculiar” -</strong> peculiar actually originates from the Latin word for cattle. It means private property. You own the cattle, but peculiar means you are in and out of yourself.</p>
<p> Seth Godin says peculiar means you are in and out of yourself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong>  So if we want to talk about peculiar with regard to cattle, typically cattle herd, they like to stay. And this is again my belief, but cattle like to be in herds. They like to be close to one another. They don't like to be off on their own. So I could see where maybe cattle comes into it because a peculiar cattle is probably one that might be sick or something might be going on with. So we have to be careful there. You know, mad cow disease, et cetera, et cetera. I'm sure there are all kinds of bovine diseases that can occur.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> Taking it away from disease, I'm just thinking I'd probably be one of the cattle that's like “I'm outta here, man. I'm not going along with you.” As a child, Fawn was called the black sheep.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong>  Right, but typically, what is it, “the Judas goat leads the cattle into the slaughter or so anyways, let's, let's change that subject very quickly then let's talk about in and out.</p>
<p>So I know how to do the opposite of being peculiar, which is to blend in.</p>
<p>I can go in and out so I can be part of the herd and then I can also be out of the herd. And so in many ways I'm kind of in and out, particularly if I'm really working on a challenging idea or I'm looking at something that no one else was looking at, et cetera, et cetera, I'm pondering something no one else was really pondering. There's a certain comfort in being with the people, but then there's also a huge amount of satisfaction being. Outside being the outsider kind of looking in. And so that's where I draw the in and out from.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> I've never been able to go with a masses, I've never been able to go with the crew or whatever you call it. I. I stick out like a sore thumb, probably March to the beat of a different drummer, and that has really negative connotations to it, too. “They marched to the beat of their own drummer” means that there's a problem.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> And that's just it. That's how you choose to define it. However, it's, it's the. It's the, forgive me. It's the Edisons it's the Teslas. It's the Henry Ford's, we can even talk about the Zuckerberg. It's about the odd ducks.</p>
<p>(Matt and Fawn argue about Edison and Tesla being peculiar Fawn does not like Edison and does not want him in the same talking circle as her beloved Tesla).</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “It's the peculiar people who push society forward… it's these types of people who are willing to, or stand a little bit outside; the peculiar people who push things forward.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>???:</strong> If everyone was peculiar, would we all not be individuals and just become one mass?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> we can't have too many of them or you're a massively fractured society. And the certain amount of fracturing is healthy too much is very bad. …</p>
<p>And what I'm saying is there's a reason why Tesla died penniless, and there's a reason why Edison's heirs probably still have oodles of money.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> And what's the reason? Well, because he (Edison was able to go in and out).</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>???:</strong> If everybody is so completely on different pages on everything, how do you get them to agree?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>my college professor, Hank Wessel who showed us that it's the simple stuff that we ignore that is actually the most peculiar.  I could really look at it, but you ignore it. But it's there. And I guess that's, that would be kind of like not standing out; that blends into society kind of “peculiar”. However, on the other side of it, I just feel like so much of society teaches us to be a certain way. And it strong arms as to blend in and not be authentically ourselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fawn recalls all the different towns and cities that they have lived in and how within each different town, people looked the same (same haircuts, same style of clothes, etc.).</p>
<p>Matt blames this uniformity on the automobile manufacturers.</p>
<p>Matt: why is every single car offered in (of course they don't call it this) black, white, gray, or silver. And then if you're lucky, they'll throw in a blue and a maroon. It used to be American cars, you could get any color of the rainbow. Anyone, you would just say, “oh, competition orange”. Or you would literally bring in a paint swatch and they would match it. This is way back in, I've heard in like the sixties and seventies, but like all the cars look the same. All the colors of the cars look the same. And there's a certain comfort in that anonymity. And, you know, it's the automakers, I think, who were playing to that. Cause they always have to be 10 years ahead or so. Cause that's how they design cars, but I mean, it's so hard. I mean, we really love our car, but all the, all the colors were monochromatic.  I don't think we could've scored our car in a red or a blue, which is sad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> There's a whole design aspect. You think we're controlled by just finance, right? You think THAT will be the way to control the population, but it's really interesting how design plays a role in it too. This also takes me to homeschooling. Why did we choose to homeschool? We didn't want to be a part of this factory based, cookie cutter, everyone cram in here, like an assembly line. And this is what we're going to feed you. Get out. We wanted our kids to explore all cultures and explore many languages. They're multi-lingual now they are way advanced with math and art and everything that we possibly can study. We are not doing the cookie cutter version and that's why, but everything seems to be that way, this conformity.</p>
<p><strong>???:</strong> Why is conformity so prevalent?</p>
<p>Matt: Part of it is for comfort.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn talks about this translating to the arts and to actors. </strong>Cary Grant as an example who said of his craft that when you're a movie star, people want that movie star version of you. And if you veer away from that, they get very upset. Your fans want to see you as that Cary Grant they are used to, and if you go and play some other character, that's radically different, they are not happy.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> “Right. Or heaven forbid you have a social life that is reported and doesn't make you look, it doesn't adhere to this, this thought”.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn brings up Diane Arbus the photographer and her images of people we wouldn’t normally look at and how haunting the images are and the importance of representing all people.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> People want comfort. People want comfort in all things, and people have an unwillingness to be challenged. I think the thing about it is, is finding your tribe and finding these people who resonate the same frequency that you do. And sometimes you've got everything in common and sometimes you dress alike and sometimes you have very little in common, but those things run deep.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> Seth Godin, said something that really made me sad and made me feel like, you know what, Seth Godin, I don't want to listen to you right now.</p>
<p>He (Seth Godin) was talking about being authentic and he said “you don't want the authentic, don't do that. You don't want the authentic”.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> I was thinking to myself, “what the hell?”</p>
<p>And he (Seth Godin) said, as an example, that if you go to a Jay Z concert, you don't want the authentic Jay Z if Jay Z is having a bad day. You want the Jay Z you paid to listen to.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> But excuse me, that is art. If someone is singing or whatever, they're expressing themselves. You better? Give me the authentic, because there's feeling behind singing, there's feeling behind poetry. There's feeling behind photography. There's feeling behind paintings. There's feeling behind cooking. We can cook the same things you and I could cook the same exact recipe. Mine will taste different than yours. It's kind of like the movie, <em>Like Water for Chocolate</em>. The main character would cook something and she was sad. And when people ate her cooking while she was crying, they started crying. You know, it transfers into everything.</p>
<p>More on this subject continues as Fawn and Matt discuss art and what is authentic as well as perfectly crafted.</p>
<p>The conversation then goes into Fawn talking about authentic interactions with people and when to truly express how and what you are feeling. She comments on the fact that because we don’t talk to one another that much that when we feel isolated going through life and then we speak to someone who asks how we are doing, all our cobwebs and horrors may come out and that scares people off. But is we had more heart to hearts, things; our emotions would not be so hectic and we wouldn’t feel like we had so much to unveil and unload.</p>
<p>Matt has an issue with this. And explains using an example of football and the quarterback for the Steelers, Ben Roethlisberger -  a conversation he never should have unleashed on, on a reporter of great scoop, et cetera, et cetera. But it wasn't something he should have unleashed at that moment. It was something he should've kept private talked about with his loved ones, his inner circle, his friends, his et cetera.</p>
<p><strong>???:</strong> Why do we tear down our heroes in society?</p>
<p><strong>Quote hall of fame from this episode:</strong> “If you want to go fast, go by yourself. If you want to go far, go with the team.”</p>
<p><strong>?????: what do we do with this knowledge of the peculiar? </strong>Do we strive to hide our peculiarities?</p>
<p><strong>Fawn’s nugget of wisdom:</strong> “We all need to be scholars. And if you're a true scholar, you're going to look at something that does not make sense to you and be open enough to look at it and marvel in its extraordinary difference and its beauty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Please send us an email and keep in touch: <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com</a></p>
<p>Please leave us a review on iTunes!<br /><br />Thsnk you!</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt</p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Show notes #25 “Peculiar”
Nugget of Wisdom: Jesus and the Bread Guy – Fawn recalls “… two things, two, if you pick two things in the neighborhood, within the community that are a constant, you never thought about together at the same time; in the neighborhood, you never thought had a connection. If you take two things or two people that are consistent in the neighborhood that you never connected; like they are not going to cross, or it didn't even cross your mind, but when you see it, it makes total sense. Have you ever had an epiphany like that?” This story is about two main fixtures in the Santa Monica/ Venice neighborhood that one early morning Fawn became aware had a divine, spiritual connection to one another that brought her a deeper understanding of our connections within our community.
 
PECULIAR - pe·cu·liar  /pəˈkyo͞olyər/  adjective

strange or odd; unusual.

Similar words: Strange, unusual, odd, funny, curious, bizarre, weird, uncanny, queer, unexpected, unfamiliar, abnormal, atypical, anomalous, untypical, different, out of the ordinary, out of the way, exceptional, rare, extraordinary, remarkable, puzzling, mystifying, mysterious, perplexing, baffling, unaccountable, incongruous, uncommon, irregular, singular, deviant, aberrant, freak, freakish, suspicious, dubious, questionable, eerie, unnatural, bizarre, backasswards, eccentric, idiosyncratic, unconventional, outlandish, offbeat, quirky, quaint, droll, zany, off-center, wacky, freaky, kooky, screwy, oddball, off the wall
Opposite: normal, ordinary

Particular; special.

Similar words: distinctive, characteristic, distinct, different, individual
 
BUT ALSO: Peculiar comes from Latin peculiaris, an adjective meaning "privately owned" or "special" that is derived from the word for "property," peculium. ... Peculiar borrowed the Latin meanings of peculiaris, but it eventually came to refer to qualities possessed only by a particular individual, group, or thing.
 
An article by Jess Zafarris: The Etymoooology of “Peculiar” “Peculiar” comes from the Latin peculium, literally “property in cattle,” a meaning that lingers in “peculiar to,” meaning “belonging solely to.” Its “odd” sense arose after the term evolved to mean “distinguished, special,” describing a person or thing of great wealth or renown.
Peculium was used to describe property in general, for cattle were considered the most important form of property, and wealth was often measured in livestock. Cows were especially considered a mark of wealth and social standing because they were used to expand the scale of crop production, to haul goods and weapons in trade and war, and were also (obviously) a rich source of protein.
Owning, purchasing, and breeding cattle was considered an investment in the future, and practices involving cattle were handed down from generation to generation—meaning that cattle played a not-insignificant part in establishing early ruling classes and families.
Peculium gave rise to peculiaris, “belonging exclusively to one person,” which carried its meaning over to English in the 15th century. From there, in the 16th century, “peculiar” came to mean “distinguished or special,” suggesting someone endowed with great wealth (not necessarily in cattle) or esteem, or something else particularly renowned or remarkable.
This noteworthy sense led to what might be considered a more common use of the word today, “unusual, strange, curious,” from the 17th century—though, of course, its sense of belonging specifically/especially to someone or something remains in use today as well.
 
Seth Godin on “Peculiar” - peculiar actually originates from the Latin word for cattle. It means private property. Yo...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
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                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:03:07</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[US/THEM/SYNTHESIS]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Jan 2021 04:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/usthemsynthesis</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/usthemsynthesis</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>Episode #24 – US/THEM/SYNTHESIS  -</strong> Is it possible to have synthesis? How can we have Synthesis in society when there is so much of “us” versus “them”?</p>
<p>Pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica: the light within can really touch someone out there that you may not know. What you do in your own home can seriously affect someone on the outside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>SYNTHESIS:</strong>   <strong>1)</strong> the combination of ideas to form a theory or a system. <strong>2)</strong> The production of chemical compounds, by reaction from simpler materials.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> I have an issue with “simpler materials” for so many reasons. If you're going to take it outside the science scope (I'm going to talk about synthesis), like communication with people and culture, using the word “simple” is a mistake. If you look at something through a microscope, you can get more powerful microscopes and keep going and going and going and going as you look at any given thing. Does anything ever stop being or existing? Like numbers, is everything infinite? You look at something through a microscope, you see the smaller particles. You magnify it even more, you see even more. A flower is complex. If you look at the design of anytihing in life, if you really look at things, everything is incredibly complex.</p>
<p>Another thing about synthesis; another definition is to combine a number of different pieces into a hole. And it made me think of the term “melting pot”. The description of a culture or society being a Melting pot always bothered me. It never sat right with me growing up. I heard that a lot, but I never really thought about why it bothered me. I was always asked (it was actually demanded of me) to erase my culture; to erase my identity, not only growing up in the United States, like to become Americanized, but also within my family who was very terrified of having to escape from a country that was in turmoil, to erase who I was.</p>
<p>And even though my family loved their culture and wanted to keep their culture, they had to flee the country that they were originally from, come to a new place and where they had to deal with a whole new set of problems and persecution in so many ways. There was this confusion of, do we assimilate? Do we keep our traditions or get rid of them? Do we teach our traditions and culture to the next generation? How do we do that, when the culture you live in despises you and the next generation is caught in between these two worlds?  I noticed this peril not just with the family I was raised in, but with so many different families across so many different cultures other than mine. I watched the struggle with: do we keep the traditions, do we do a dare speak together, out in public in this other language?</p>
<p>I just don’t like the analogy of a “melting pot”. Instead of a melting pot, I think it should be a dish that holds the integrity of every ingredient not something that melts and becomes something else. I don't want to melt. I do not want to melt. I want all of my cultures. I want my languages. I want everybody else's cultures and everybody else's languages, everybody else's fashions, everybody else's ideas to hold their own and contribute a vast delicious balance of tastes that light up your life force when you taste it.</p>
<p>I want it to remain whole. I don't think it's a good idea to melt into one thing and lose your unique flavor. I think if we can appreciate the integrity of each individual ingredient, that it will lead to world peace.</p>
<p>We talk about assimilating and what that means.</p>
<p>We ask if there’s a constant assembly line of hate. The focus may end on one group, only to focus on the next group. Eventually, you will be the target so best to stop the hate now.</p>
<p> When your mind is open enough, you can see the profound in things that people completely ignore. PAY ATTENTION TO TRIFLES.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Please support our podcast by leaving a ki...</strong></p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Episode #24 – US/THEM/SYNTHESIS  - Is it possible to have synthesis? How can we have Synthesis in society when there is so much of “us” versus “them”?
Pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica: the light within can really touch someone out there that you may not know. What you do in your own home can seriously affect someone on the outside.
 
SYNTHESIS:   1) the combination of ideas to form a theory or a system. 2) The production of chemical compounds, by reaction from simpler materials.
Fawn: I have an issue with “simpler materials” for so many reasons. If you're going to take it outside the science scope (I'm going to talk about synthesis), like communication with people and culture, using the word “simple” is a mistake. If you look at something through a microscope, you can get more powerful microscopes and keep going and going and going and going as you look at any given thing. Does anything ever stop being or existing? Like numbers, is everything infinite? You look at something through a microscope, you see the smaller particles. You magnify it even more, you see even more. A flower is complex. If you look at the design of anytihing in life, if you really look at things, everything is incredibly complex.
Another thing about synthesis; another definition is to combine a number of different pieces into a hole. And it made me think of the term “melting pot”. The description of a culture or society being a Melting pot always bothered me. It never sat right with me growing up. I heard that a lot, but I never really thought about why it bothered me. I was always asked (it was actually demanded of me) to erase my culture; to erase my identity, not only growing up in the United States, like to become Americanized, but also within my family who was very terrified of having to escape from a country that was in turmoil, to erase who I was.
And even though my family loved their culture and wanted to keep their culture, they had to flee the country that they were originally from, come to a new place and where they had to deal with a whole new set of problems and persecution in so many ways. There was this confusion of, do we assimilate? Do we keep our traditions or get rid of them? Do we teach our traditions and culture to the next generation? How do we do that, when the culture you live in despises you and the next generation is caught in between these two worlds?  I noticed this peril not just with the family I was raised in, but with so many different families across so many different cultures other than mine. I watched the struggle with: do we keep the traditions, do we do a dare speak together, out in public in this other language?
I just don’t like the analogy of a “melting pot”. Instead of a melting pot, I think it should be a dish that holds the integrity of every ingredient not something that melts and becomes something else. I don't want to melt. I do not want to melt. I want all of my cultures. I want my languages. I want everybody else's cultures and everybody else's languages, everybody else's fashions, everybody else's ideas to hold their own and contribute a vast delicious balance of tastes that light up your life force when you taste it.
I want it to remain whole. I don't think it's a good idea to melt into one thing and lose your unique flavor. I think if we can appreciate the integrity of each individual ingredient, that it will lead to world peace.
We talk about assimilating and what that means.
We ask if there’s a constant assembly line of hate. The focus may end on one group, only to focus on the next group. Eventually, you will be the target so best to stop the hate now.
 When your mind is open enough, you can see the profound in things that people completely ignore. PAY ATTENTION TO TRIFLES.
 
Please support our podcast by leaving a ki...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[US/THEM/SYNTHESIS]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>24</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>Episode #24 – US/THEM/SYNTHESIS  -</strong> Is it possible to have synthesis? How can we have Synthesis in society when there is so much of “us” versus “them”?</p>
<p>Pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica: the light within can really touch someone out there that you may not know. What you do in your own home can seriously affect someone on the outside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>SYNTHESIS:</strong>   <strong>1)</strong> the combination of ideas to form a theory or a system. <strong>2)</strong> The production of chemical compounds, by reaction from simpler materials.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> I have an issue with “simpler materials” for so many reasons. If you're going to take it outside the science scope (I'm going to talk about synthesis), like communication with people and culture, using the word “simple” is a mistake. If you look at something through a microscope, you can get more powerful microscopes and keep going and going and going and going as you look at any given thing. Does anything ever stop being or existing? Like numbers, is everything infinite? You look at something through a microscope, you see the smaller particles. You magnify it even more, you see even more. A flower is complex. If you look at the design of anytihing in life, if you really look at things, everything is incredibly complex.</p>
<p>Another thing about synthesis; another definition is to combine a number of different pieces into a hole. And it made me think of the term “melting pot”. The description of a culture or society being a Melting pot always bothered me. It never sat right with me growing up. I heard that a lot, but I never really thought about why it bothered me. I was always asked (it was actually demanded of me) to erase my culture; to erase my identity, not only growing up in the United States, like to become Americanized, but also within my family who was very terrified of having to escape from a country that was in turmoil, to erase who I was.</p>
<p>And even though my family loved their culture and wanted to keep their culture, they had to flee the country that they were originally from, come to a new place and where they had to deal with a whole new set of problems and persecution in so many ways. There was this confusion of, do we assimilate? Do we keep our traditions or get rid of them? Do we teach our traditions and culture to the next generation? How do we do that, when the culture you live in despises you and the next generation is caught in between these two worlds?  I noticed this peril not just with the family I was raised in, but with so many different families across so many different cultures other than mine. I watched the struggle with: do we keep the traditions, do we do a dare speak together, out in public in this other language?</p>
<p>I just don’t like the analogy of a “melting pot”. Instead of a melting pot, I think it should be a dish that holds the integrity of every ingredient not something that melts and becomes something else. I don't want to melt. I do not want to melt. I want all of my cultures. I want my languages. I want everybody else's cultures and everybody else's languages, everybody else's fashions, everybody else's ideas to hold their own and contribute a vast delicious balance of tastes that light up your life force when you taste it.</p>
<p>I want it to remain whole. I don't think it's a good idea to melt into one thing and lose your unique flavor. I think if we can appreciate the integrity of each individual ingredient, that it will lead to world peace.</p>
<p>We talk about assimilating and what that means.</p>
<p>We ask if there’s a constant assembly line of hate. The focus may end on one group, only to focus on the next group. Eventually, you will be the target so best to stop the hate now.</p>
<p> When your mind is open enough, you can see the profound in things that people completely ignore. PAY ATTENTION TO TRIFLES.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Please support our podcast by leaving a kind review on iTunes:</strong></p>
<p><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt/id1529286185">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt/id1529286185</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com</a></p>
<p>instagram: @befriendlyworld</p>
<p>Twitter: https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Episode #24 – US/THEM/SYNTHESIS  - Is it possible to have synthesis? How can we have Synthesis in society when there is so much of “us” versus “them”?
Pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica: the light within can really touch someone out there that you may not know. What you do in your own home can seriously affect someone on the outside.
 
SYNTHESIS:   1) the combination of ideas to form a theory or a system. 2) The production of chemical compounds, by reaction from simpler materials.
Fawn: I have an issue with “simpler materials” for so many reasons. If you're going to take it outside the science scope (I'm going to talk about synthesis), like communication with people and culture, using the word “simple” is a mistake. If you look at something through a microscope, you can get more powerful microscopes and keep going and going and going and going as you look at any given thing. Does anything ever stop being or existing? Like numbers, is everything infinite? You look at something through a microscope, you see the smaller particles. You magnify it even more, you see even more. A flower is complex. If you look at the design of anytihing in life, if you really look at things, everything is incredibly complex.
Another thing about synthesis; another definition is to combine a number of different pieces into a hole. And it made me think of the term “melting pot”. The description of a culture or society being a Melting pot always bothered me. It never sat right with me growing up. I heard that a lot, but I never really thought about why it bothered me. I was always asked (it was actually demanded of me) to erase my culture; to erase my identity, not only growing up in the United States, like to become Americanized, but also within my family who was very terrified of having to escape from a country that was in turmoil, to erase who I was.
And even though my family loved their culture and wanted to keep their culture, they had to flee the country that they were originally from, come to a new place and where they had to deal with a whole new set of problems and persecution in so many ways. There was this confusion of, do we assimilate? Do we keep our traditions or get rid of them? Do we teach our traditions and culture to the next generation? How do we do that, when the culture you live in despises you and the next generation is caught in between these two worlds?  I noticed this peril not just with the family I was raised in, but with so many different families across so many different cultures other than mine. I watched the struggle with: do we keep the traditions, do we do a dare speak together, out in public in this other language?
I just don’t like the analogy of a “melting pot”. Instead of a melting pot, I think it should be a dish that holds the integrity of every ingredient not something that melts and becomes something else. I don't want to melt. I do not want to melt. I want all of my cultures. I want my languages. I want everybody else's cultures and everybody else's languages, everybody else's fashions, everybody else's ideas to hold their own and contribute a vast delicious balance of tastes that light up your life force when you taste it.
I want it to remain whole. I don't think it's a good idea to melt into one thing and lose your unique flavor. I think if we can appreciate the integrity of each individual ingredient, that it will lead to world peace.
We talk about assimilating and what that means.
We ask if there’s a constant assembly line of hate. The focus may end on one group, only to focus on the next group. Eventually, you will be the target so best to stop the hate now.
 When your mind is open enough, you can see the profound in things that people completely ignore. PAY ATTENTION TO TRIFLES.
 
Please support our podcast by leaving a ki...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/People-on-sky-bridge.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:14:17</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Frog and the Scorpion with Special Guest KJ Nasrul]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Jan 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-frog-and-the-scorpion-with-special-guest-kj-nasrul</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-frog-and-the-scorpion-with-special-guest-kj-nasrul</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Show notes #23 The Frog and the Scorpion</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nugget of wisdom from Fawn’s neighbor in Santa Monica, upstairs Joey – the lesson of the hot stove.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today’s episode revolves around the fable, “The Frog and the Scorpion”</p>
<p>“The Scorpion and the Frog”</p>
<p> “A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."</p>
<p>The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "It’s my nature...".”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Our super friend, psychotherapist KJ Nasrul joins us to discuss: </strong></p>
<p>the changing of minds; our belief systems, specially in times of argument.</p>
<p>Can a person fundamentally change?</p>
<p>How do you know when to reenter a friendship?</p>
<p>How do you know when to end a friendship?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>THEN… </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> I have lots of people I had to totally cut off like the scorpion, right? The end from the very beginning, I knew their nature. I knew how they were, they were showing it to me, but I assumed, Oh, they'll never do that to me. You know, the last ones were some of the yoga crew around where we live.</p>
<p>I saw how they treated each other, their family members. And I assumed they wouldn't do that with me. And we had the established where we're family, men were sisters. And then all of a sudden they treated me like family, which is how they treated themselves, which was not good. And I had to cut it off, and I knew they wouldn't change. They were the scorpion.  And they already stung me and boy, did it take a long time to heal from that. So never again, because they tried to apologize. They tried to come back and I'm like, “Nope!”.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> But if you take a look at that, you just take a look at, let's say the yoga people, they get continual reinforcement to act the way that they do.</p>
<p>They get continual positive reinforcement to act the way that they do because they have blood family, if you will daughters, et cetera. And they act that way towards them, but there's still that relationship. And so they've had continual reinforcement that they can act like an a-hole and it's going to be okay.</p>
<p>You know, the way that, oftentimes families will fight and they will just lay it all out. They will just devastate one another and then they'll figure out how to get back together without talking about it.</p>
<p>So there's no impetus for them to change other than the fact that they they've lost your friendship, but they can, they can find an excuse. They can excuse that away and make it your problem or your fault.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Question:</strong> Have you been friends with a scorpion? Have been bitten, or knew that they would bite, but continued to have a friendship out of desperation of wanting to have a friend so badly that you played with “fire”?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>why do you think the frog did it anyway? </strong></p>
<p>Matt: Otherwise we wouldn't have a fable, but also I think that the frog dog is the optimist on the outside and the inside. He believes in the good in everyone and he believes everyone can change. And he believed in the logical argument back to emotion versus logic, the scorpion stung, because that's what he does. It's an emotional thing. Whereas the frog understood on a logical level that if he got stung, he would die in the middle of the river. And so he believed that the scorpion would take the logical argument, but the scorpion was never going to do that because it's not in his nature.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What's the difference between evolving and changing? Can your nature change?</p>
<p>How do we deal with all this at wo...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Show notes #23 The Frog and the Scorpion
 
Nugget of wisdom from Fawn’s neighbor in Santa Monica, upstairs Joey – the lesson of the hot stove.
 
Today’s episode revolves around the fable, “The Frog and the Scorpion”
“The Scorpion and the Frog”
 “A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."
The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "It’s my nature...".”
 
Our super friend, psychotherapist KJ Nasrul joins us to discuss: 
the changing of minds; our belief systems, specially in times of argument.
Can a person fundamentally change?
How do you know when to reenter a friendship?
How do you know when to end a friendship?
 
THEN… 
Fawn: I have lots of people I had to totally cut off like the scorpion, right? The end from the very beginning, I knew their nature. I knew how they were, they were showing it to me, but I assumed, Oh, they'll never do that to me. You know, the last ones were some of the yoga crew around where we live.
I saw how they treated each other, their family members. And I assumed they wouldn't do that with me. And we had the established where we're family, men were sisters. And then all of a sudden they treated me like family, which is how they treated themselves, which was not good. And I had to cut it off, and I knew they wouldn't change. They were the scorpion.  And they already stung me and boy, did it take a long time to heal from that. So never again, because they tried to apologize. They tried to come back and I'm like, “Nope!”.
Matt: But if you take a look at that, you just take a look at, let's say the yoga people, they get continual reinforcement to act the way that they do.
They get continual positive reinforcement to act the way that they do because they have blood family, if you will daughters, et cetera. And they act that way towards them, but there's still that relationship. And so they've had continual reinforcement that they can act like an a-hole and it's going to be okay.
You know, the way that, oftentimes families will fight and they will just lay it all out. They will just devastate one another and then they'll figure out how to get back together without talking about it.
So there's no impetus for them to change other than the fact that they they've lost your friendship, but they can, they can find an excuse. They can excuse that away and make it your problem or your fault.
 
Question: Have you been friends with a scorpion? Have been bitten, or knew that they would bite, but continued to have a friendship out of desperation of wanting to have a friend so badly that you played with “fire”?
 
why do you think the frog did it anyway? 
Matt: Otherwise we wouldn't have a fable, but also I think that the frog dog is the optimist on the outside and the inside. He believes in the good in everyone and he believes everyone can change. And he believed in the logical argument back to emotion versus logic, the scorpion stung, because that's what he does. It's an emotional thing. Whereas the frog understood on a logical level that if he got stung, he would die in the middle of the river. And so he believed that the scorpion would take the logical argument, but the scorpion was never going to do that because it's not in his nature.
 
What's the difference between evolving and changing? Can your nature change?
How do we deal with all this at wo...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Frog and the Scorpion with Special Guest KJ Nasrul]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>23</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Show notes #23 The Frog and the Scorpion</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nugget of wisdom from Fawn’s neighbor in Santa Monica, upstairs Joey – the lesson of the hot stove.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today’s episode revolves around the fable, “The Frog and the Scorpion”</p>
<p>“The Scorpion and the Frog”</p>
<p> “A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."</p>
<p>The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "It’s my nature...".”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Our super friend, psychotherapist KJ Nasrul joins us to discuss: </strong></p>
<p>the changing of minds; our belief systems, specially in times of argument.</p>
<p>Can a person fundamentally change?</p>
<p>How do you know when to reenter a friendship?</p>
<p>How do you know when to end a friendship?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>THEN… </strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> I have lots of people I had to totally cut off like the scorpion, right? The end from the very beginning, I knew their nature. I knew how they were, they were showing it to me, but I assumed, Oh, they'll never do that to me. You know, the last ones were some of the yoga crew around where we live.</p>
<p>I saw how they treated each other, their family members. And I assumed they wouldn't do that with me. And we had the established where we're family, men were sisters. And then all of a sudden they treated me like family, which is how they treated themselves, which was not good. And I had to cut it off, and I knew they wouldn't change. They were the scorpion.  And they already stung me and boy, did it take a long time to heal from that. So never again, because they tried to apologize. They tried to come back and I'm like, “Nope!”.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> But if you take a look at that, you just take a look at, let's say the yoga people, they get continual reinforcement to act the way that they do.</p>
<p>They get continual positive reinforcement to act the way that they do because they have blood family, if you will daughters, et cetera. And they act that way towards them, but there's still that relationship. And so they've had continual reinforcement that they can act like an a-hole and it's going to be okay.</p>
<p>You know, the way that, oftentimes families will fight and they will just lay it all out. They will just devastate one another and then they'll figure out how to get back together without talking about it.</p>
<p>So there's no impetus for them to change other than the fact that they they've lost your friendship, but they can, they can find an excuse. They can excuse that away and make it your problem or your fault.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Question:</strong> Have you been friends with a scorpion? Have been bitten, or knew that they would bite, but continued to have a friendship out of desperation of wanting to have a friend so badly that you played with “fire”?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>why do you think the frog did it anyway? </strong></p>
<p>Matt: Otherwise we wouldn't have a fable, but also I think that the frog dog is the optimist on the outside and the inside. He believes in the good in everyone and he believes everyone can change. And he believed in the logical argument back to emotion versus logic, the scorpion stung, because that's what he does. It's an emotional thing. Whereas the frog understood on a logical level that if he got stung, he would die in the middle of the river. And so he believed that the scorpion would take the logical argument, but the scorpion was never going to do that because it's not in his nature.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What's the difference between evolving and changing? Can your nature change?</p>
<p>How do we deal with all this at work?</p>
<p>Leave us a review on iTunes!</p>
<p> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt/id1529286185">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt/id1529286185</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com</a></p>
<p>instagram: @befriendlyworld</p>
<p>twitter: https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-23-The-Frog-and-the-Scorpion-w-super-friend-KJ-Nasrul.wav" length="317723792"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Show notes #23 The Frog and the Scorpion
 
Nugget of wisdom from Fawn’s neighbor in Santa Monica, upstairs Joey – the lesson of the hot stove.
 
Today’s episode revolves around the fable, “The Frog and the Scorpion”
“The Scorpion and the Frog”
 “A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."
The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "It’s my nature...".”
 
Our super friend, psychotherapist KJ Nasrul joins us to discuss: 
the changing of minds; our belief systems, specially in times of argument.
Can a person fundamentally change?
How do you know when to reenter a friendship?
How do you know when to end a friendship?
 
THEN… 
Fawn: I have lots of people I had to totally cut off like the scorpion, right? The end from the very beginning, I knew their nature. I knew how they were, they were showing it to me, but I assumed, Oh, they'll never do that to me. You know, the last ones were some of the yoga crew around where we live.
I saw how they treated each other, their family members. And I assumed they wouldn't do that with me. And we had the established where we're family, men were sisters. And then all of a sudden they treated me like family, which is how they treated themselves, which was not good. And I had to cut it off, and I knew they wouldn't change. They were the scorpion.  And they already stung me and boy, did it take a long time to heal from that. So never again, because they tried to apologize. They tried to come back and I'm like, “Nope!”.
Matt: But if you take a look at that, you just take a look at, let's say the yoga people, they get continual reinforcement to act the way that they do.
They get continual positive reinforcement to act the way that they do because they have blood family, if you will daughters, et cetera. And they act that way towards them, but there's still that relationship. And so they've had continual reinforcement that they can act like an a-hole and it's going to be okay.
You know, the way that, oftentimes families will fight and they will just lay it all out. They will just devastate one another and then they'll figure out how to get back together without talking about it.
So there's no impetus for them to change other than the fact that they they've lost your friendship, but they can, they can find an excuse. They can excuse that away and make it your problem or your fault.
 
Question: Have you been friends with a scorpion? Have been bitten, or knew that they would bite, but continued to have a friendship out of desperation of wanting to have a friend so badly that you played with “fire”?
 
why do you think the frog did it anyway? 
Matt: Otherwise we wouldn't have a fable, but also I think that the frog dog is the optimist on the outside and the inside. He believes in the good in everyone and he believes everyone can change. And he believed in the logical argument back to emotion versus logic, the scorpion stung, because that's what he does. It's an emotional thing. Whereas the frog understood on a logical level that if he got stung, he would die in the middle of the river. And so he believed that the scorpion would take the logical argument, but the scorpion was never going to do that because it's not in his nature.
 
What's the difference between evolving and changing? Can your nature change?
How do we deal with all this at wo...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Frog-and-Scorpion.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:00:02</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Emotion Motion - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 04 Jan 2021 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/emotion-motion-the-good-the-bad-the-ugly</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/emotion-motion-the-good-the-bad-the-ugly</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>Episode 22  - Emotion Motion – the Good, the Bad, the Ugly</strong></p>
<p>Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: Moses and the Ten Commandments – Why hearing a crowd chant your name is important.</p>
<p>It is a healing. It is validation. We need that. My friend hearing his name chanted - that's a good thing. It gives you that strength and that validation, that power that says "I exist. I am powerful. I am loved".</p>
<p>What is it about words? I always say words have vibration, words have power. There's so much energy associated with sound. The internal emotion logic works between two people. Two people are arguing and one person takes the emotional argument. The other person takes logical argument. We're working in a whole different system. We're working against imposter syndrome. We're working against everybody tells me whatever it is I want to hear, except for there's one person who says that hurtful comment. That's the only person (maybe I feel because I'm an imposter walking through the world because we all feel this way at some time where, you know, I don't belong. I'm not worthy. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not), so this is the only person who is telling me the truth and you start to become emotionally connected to the one person who tells you the truth. And it also can be because you are, you do feel like you're wearing this. It's like you're wearing a coat. This is your body. You're wearing it like a coat. And you’re you. You go through life sometimes worried that somebody is going to call you out on your BS. And so if somebody calls you out on anything, you feel like this is the one person who is being honest with me. This is why we are so emotionally attached to that ONE ugly comment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anecdote:  this company called Despair: they do these demotivational motivational posters. There’s one for dysfunctional. The only thing in common between all of your unsatisfying relationships is you. So it's really hard to shuck that off or understand that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>More on criticism: (the unkind mean things people throw at you): …and then we have being a youth or being an unexperienced; un-fully formed kind of a person who's still trying to figure out who they are. And people love to tell you who you are. Why do they do that? Because they want you to be just like them. This concept takes you into a brand new completely other world of "the way I live is the best way to live. So you should live just like me, because then you living that way validates me".</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Matt: …”and that's a lot of what I grew up in was, I lived this way, my parents lived a certain way and the people who they associated with lived basically the exact same way. And if you didn't kind of live that way, you were a little, either a little off, if it was only a little bit different or you were nuts, if it was completely different or they couldn't even fathom how you would, but by the same token, because you're their child and they are tutoring you and they are, providing a role model for you, if you choose not to live the same way they did, then you invalidate them too. So there's a jumble of all these emotions caught up inside of people”.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> Why do you think that that happens? Why do you think that people are so attached to you being like them as the only way to be? Why isn't it that they have a slate that says, you know what, you don't have to be like me, cause I want to be different; even if you are my child or my student. Why is that the common thread? Is it going back to when we were hunting and gathering, and you have to stick together. I mean, I don't understand where that thinking comes from.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> It does. It has. It evolved from this, team-based kind of a feeling where, I'm on a team, we're all going forward. And this gets, I think, lost inside of a lot of emotions, but on some level, I think people like being validated. People like being told they're okay. And people l...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Episode 22  - Emotion Motion – the Good, the Bad, the Ugly
Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: Moses and the Ten Commandments – Why hearing a crowd chant your name is important.
It is a healing. It is validation. We need that. My friend hearing his name chanted - that's a good thing. It gives you that strength and that validation, that power that says "I exist. I am powerful. I am loved".
What is it about words? I always say words have vibration, words have power. There's so much energy associated with sound. The internal emotion logic works between two people. Two people are arguing and one person takes the emotional argument. The other person takes logical argument. We're working in a whole different system. We're working against imposter syndrome. We're working against everybody tells me whatever it is I want to hear, except for there's one person who says that hurtful comment. That's the only person (maybe I feel because I'm an imposter walking through the world because we all feel this way at some time where, you know, I don't belong. I'm not worthy. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not), so this is the only person who is telling me the truth and you start to become emotionally connected to the one person who tells you the truth. And it also can be because you are, you do feel like you're wearing this. It's like you're wearing a coat. This is your body. You're wearing it like a coat. And you’re you. You go through life sometimes worried that somebody is going to call you out on your BS. And so if somebody calls you out on anything, you feel like this is the one person who is being honest with me. This is why we are so emotionally attached to that ONE ugly comment.
 
Anecdote:  this company called Despair: they do these demotivational motivational posters. There’s one for dysfunctional. The only thing in common between all of your unsatisfying relationships is you. So it's really hard to shuck that off or understand that.
 
More on criticism: (the unkind mean things people throw at you): …and then we have being a youth or being an unexperienced; un-fully formed kind of a person who's still trying to figure out who they are. And people love to tell you who you are. Why do they do that? Because they want you to be just like them. This concept takes you into a brand new completely other world of "the way I live is the best way to live. So you should live just like me, because then you living that way validates me".
 
Matt: …”and that's a lot of what I grew up in was, I lived this way, my parents lived a certain way and the people who they associated with lived basically the exact same way. And if you didn't kind of live that way, you were a little, either a little off, if it was only a little bit different or you were nuts, if it was completely different or they couldn't even fathom how you would, but by the same token, because you're their child and they are tutoring you and they are, providing a role model for you, if you choose not to live the same way they did, then you invalidate them too. So there's a jumble of all these emotions caught up inside of people”.
Fawn: Why do you think that that happens? Why do you think that people are so attached to you being like them as the only way to be? Why isn't it that they have a slate that says, you know what, you don't have to be like me, cause I want to be different; even if you are my child or my student. Why is that the common thread? Is it going back to when we were hunting and gathering, and you have to stick together. I mean, I don't understand where that thinking comes from.
Matt: It does. It has. It evolved from this, team-based kind of a feeling where, I'm on a team, we're all going forward. And this gets, I think, lost inside of a lot of emotions, but on some level, I think people like being validated. People like being told they're okay. And people l...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Emotion Motion - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>22</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>Episode 22  - Emotion Motion – the Good, the Bad, the Ugly</strong></p>
<p>Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: Moses and the Ten Commandments – Why hearing a crowd chant your name is important.</p>
<p>It is a healing. It is validation. We need that. My friend hearing his name chanted - that's a good thing. It gives you that strength and that validation, that power that says "I exist. I am powerful. I am loved".</p>
<p>What is it about words? I always say words have vibration, words have power. There's so much energy associated with sound. The internal emotion logic works between two people. Two people are arguing and one person takes the emotional argument. The other person takes logical argument. We're working in a whole different system. We're working against imposter syndrome. We're working against everybody tells me whatever it is I want to hear, except for there's one person who says that hurtful comment. That's the only person (maybe I feel because I'm an imposter walking through the world because we all feel this way at some time where, you know, I don't belong. I'm not worthy. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not), so this is the only person who is telling me the truth and you start to become emotionally connected to the one person who tells you the truth. And it also can be because you are, you do feel like you're wearing this. It's like you're wearing a coat. This is your body. You're wearing it like a coat. And you’re you. You go through life sometimes worried that somebody is going to call you out on your BS. And so if somebody calls you out on anything, you feel like this is the one person who is being honest with me. This is why we are so emotionally attached to that ONE ugly comment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anecdote:  this company called Despair: they do these demotivational motivational posters. There’s one for dysfunctional. The only thing in common between all of your unsatisfying relationships is you. So it's really hard to shuck that off or understand that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>More on criticism: (the unkind mean things people throw at you): …and then we have being a youth or being an unexperienced; un-fully formed kind of a person who's still trying to figure out who they are. And people love to tell you who you are. Why do they do that? Because they want you to be just like them. This concept takes you into a brand new completely other world of "the way I live is the best way to live. So you should live just like me, because then you living that way validates me".</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Matt: …”and that's a lot of what I grew up in was, I lived this way, my parents lived a certain way and the people who they associated with lived basically the exact same way. And if you didn't kind of live that way, you were a little, either a little off, if it was only a little bit different or you were nuts, if it was completely different or they couldn't even fathom how you would, but by the same token, because you're their child and they are tutoring you and they are, providing a role model for you, if you choose not to live the same way they did, then you invalidate them too. So there's a jumble of all these emotions caught up inside of people”.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> Why do you think that that happens? Why do you think that people are so attached to you being like them as the only way to be? Why isn't it that they have a slate that says, you know what, you don't have to be like me, cause I want to be different; even if you are my child or my student. Why is that the common thread? Is it going back to when we were hunting and gathering, and you have to stick together. I mean, I don't understand where that thinking comes from.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> It does. It has. It evolved from this, team-based kind of a feeling where, I'm on a team, we're all going forward. And this gets, I think, lost inside of a lot of emotions, but on some level, I think people like being validated. People like being told they're okay. And people like feeling like they're okay. In the best way of somebody telling you it's certainly the best, but the best way of feeling that way on a day-to-day basis is for other people to have seen you and emulated you. So if I'm a big fan of band “A” and all my friends discover that band through me and they're all big fans too, then I feel good for some reason; some esoteric reason.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn: </strong>What if we approach everybody and notice their uniqueness and bring that up as a conversation starter or even throughout, within a longstanding relationship. And I come up to you and I say, wow, I really like the way you do A, B, and C. I really like how you think about A, B, and C? I wish I was like that. I tend to do this. So therefore I'm creating a situation where I acknowledge you much like Moses, I'm chanting you. So you feel validated, understood, heard and seen. And at the same time, I think in a kind of a depreciative of way, I'm saying, but I'm this way. In a way I'm kind of saying, I totally respect and admire what you're doing. I wish I could do that, but this is how I am. In a way I'm saying, I totally respect and admire what you're doing. I wish I could do that, but this is how I am. If we were to approach each other regularly in this way of acknowledging each other’s uniqueness or your way of being, that way you don't have to beat me over the head with your way of being, and you don't have to rain on my parade for being who I am.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> This can work with friends and colleagues, but parents is another ball of wax; relatives, another ball of wax.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> Why can't it work with them?</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> There's too much emotion.</p>
<p>Matt gets emotional about raising their daughters and talks about what they’re going to be when they grow up.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn:</strong> I don't think about what they’re going to be when they grow up. I always think they already are what they are. I don't wait for that. What are you going to be when you grow up? What are you going to be, you already ARE. They already ARE what they are going to be when they grow up. It's all there. And there's no one thing to be when you grow up. There are many ways in many careers to have and many different ways. I think we have to watch out for that because the day of “this is your career until you die” is gone. You have to always shift and grow and do other things and not one career path will be it for you, perhaps. I think it will be rare when someone has one career.</p>
<p><strong>MORE ON CRITICISM:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Question:</strong> Why does one bad comment ruin everything???????? How can we defend against it? Some people put walls up and are on the ready to take on any nay-sayer with a horrible comment. But that takes a lot of energy. Then again, so does being hurt, getting hurt when you are clearly caught off guard.</p>
<p><strong>ANSWER:</strong> because we need to recognize that emotion trumps logic. We need to figure out a way where we can hold on to a very positive view of ourselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>SOME TECHNIQUES TO WARD OFF THE BAD FEELINGS:</strong></p>
<p><strong>Fawn’s assignment:</strong> Fawn was given an assignment from a psychic to help her get over the hurt feelings. This prayer, where she had to fill in the blanks with the name of the person that she had been hurt by.</p>
<p>Lord, please help me to forgive ______________. Please help ____________ to forgive me.</p>
<p>Please help us to forgive each other. Please Lord. Thank you, Lord.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> an easy, quick one is to call people out right away (but what if you just can’t think of that – like when you are caught off guard?)</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> then the other thing is, <u>you own it</u>, you're like, “Oh, okay, maybe they raise a good point, but you're trying as hard as you can, and it's hard to stay in your logical frame of mind.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> remind myself that it's just their opinion. And just because it's their opinion, doesn't make it valid. It doesn't make it invalid either. We have to evaluate and look at it, but again, it's like. You're trying as hard as you can to not let it cross over into emotion. As soon as it crosses over into emotion, it becomes “how dare you?!” and you're never going to end up in a good place from an a “how dare you”, because either the other person is going to double down on their emotions or, and it can feel even worse, the other person is going to cave and say, “I'm sorry” and not be. And if somebody feels like they're being straight with you, you don't want to get rid of that. You don't want them to feel nervous about being straight with you, but when they strike you really close to home, you've got to figure out what to do with that. And honestly, it's a skill that you learn. And it's a skill!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Fawn recalls this advice:</strong> the way to turn it around is to ask them (the offender of the rude comment) to repeat word for word, what they said, Like you didn't hear it the first time. You say:  “I'm sorry, could you repeat exactly what you just said again? I didn't quite hear you” and make them repeat it so they can hear what they said and if they don't realize it, then you say. “I believe you're on purpose, trying to bring me down or to hurt me and that's not going to work here”.</p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> the overarching technique is what I've described so many times as the Popeye syndrome, which is “I am what I am”. So understanding who and what you are, understanding your strengths, understanding your limitations and owning them.</p>
<p>Now of course people always say, oh yes, but you want to attack your weaknesses and make them strengths and all the rest of it. And there are occasions where you can't and there are occasions when you can, and you do when you can and when you're interested and when you have that desire and you don't, when you can't and you play to your strengths. Understand who and what you are. Understand your strengths, understand your limitations and own them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Note from Fawn:</strong> We really don't have frequent get-togethers and when we do, it's very emotionally charged, for example, it's a wedding, it's a birthday, it's Thanksgiving, it's Christmas, it's whatever holiday or a funeral. All the gatherings that we tend to have are very emotionally charged. Much like we don’t frequent at get-togethers we don’t frequent in conversations. So, because we don't practice because we don't build up our vocabulary, because we don't have a friend who likes to hit us where we're weak, we're not used to a communication. We're not used to tough conversations. We're not used to uncomfortableness. We tend to retreat. We don't have enough gatherings. We don't have enough conversation and we don’t know how to have the conversational back and forth and we don’t know how to handle criticism because we get caught off guard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Another note from Fawn:</strong> When you go to bed and you go to sleep, you get a reset, unless you're still totally fuming over whatever happened that could go into years, right. Of deficit, years of deficit, over what somebody said or what somebody did. Much like brushing your teeth at the end of the day, we need to clear out all the nonsense and think about what really bothered us. And much like the emotional currency that we were talking about, we need to put the hammer down;to bring down the gavel after we ask yourselves how much more are we going to invest in this, and be aware of the fact that we’re spending so much money; emotional currency on whatever it was. Do we want to continue with that as a, as a leader of a nation; as a leader of our corporation, which is our life; our nation is our life. How much more are we going to invest in this one particular idiotic thing?  Bring the gavel down and say zero! A clear mind at the end of the day is what we need.</p>]]>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Episode 22  - Emotion Motion – the Good, the Bad, the Ugly
Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: Moses and the Ten Commandments – Why hearing a crowd chant your name is important.
It is a healing. It is validation. We need that. My friend hearing his name chanted - that's a good thing. It gives you that strength and that validation, that power that says "I exist. I am powerful. I am loved".
What is it about words? I always say words have vibration, words have power. There's so much energy associated with sound. The internal emotion logic works between two people. Two people are arguing and one person takes the emotional argument. The other person takes logical argument. We're working in a whole different system. We're working against imposter syndrome. We're working against everybody tells me whatever it is I want to hear, except for there's one person who says that hurtful comment. That's the only person (maybe I feel because I'm an imposter walking through the world because we all feel this way at some time where, you know, I don't belong. I'm not worthy. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not), so this is the only person who is telling me the truth and you start to become emotionally connected to the one person who tells you the truth. And it also can be because you are, you do feel like you're wearing this. It's like you're wearing a coat. This is your body. You're wearing it like a coat. And you’re you. You go through life sometimes worried that somebody is going to call you out on your BS. And so if somebody calls you out on anything, you feel like this is the one person who is being honest with me. This is why we are so emotionally attached to that ONE ugly comment.
 
Anecdote:  this company called Despair: they do these demotivational motivational posters. There’s one for dysfunctional. The only thing in common between all of your unsatisfying relationships is you. So it's really hard to shuck that off or understand that.
 
More on criticism: (the unkind mean things people throw at you): …and then we have being a youth or being an unexperienced; un-fully formed kind of a person who's still trying to figure out who they are. And people love to tell you who you are. Why do they do that? Because they want you to be just like them. This concept takes you into a brand new completely other world of "the way I live is the best way to live. So you should live just like me, because then you living that way validates me".
 
Matt: …”and that's a lot of what I grew up in was, I lived this way, my parents lived a certain way and the people who they associated with lived basically the exact same way. And if you didn't kind of live that way, you were a little, either a little off, if it was only a little bit different or you were nuts, if it was completely different or they couldn't even fathom how you would, but by the same token, because you're their child and they are tutoring you and they are, providing a role model for you, if you choose not to live the same way they did, then you invalidate them too. So there's a jumble of all these emotions caught up inside of people”.
Fawn: Why do you think that that happens? Why do you think that people are so attached to you being like them as the only way to be? Why isn't it that they have a slate that says, you know what, you don't have to be like me, cause I want to be different; even if you are my child or my student. Why is that the common thread? Is it going back to when we were hunting and gathering, and you have to stick together. I mean, I don't understand where that thinking comes from.
Matt: It does. It has. It evolved from this, team-based kind of a feeling where, I'm on a team, we're all going forward. And this gets, I think, lost inside of a lot of emotions, but on some level, I think people like being validated. People like being told they're okay. And people l...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:58:47</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Being a Good Guest]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Dec 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/being-a-good-guest</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/being-a-good-guest</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Your responsibility to party – How to be a good guest</p>
<p>Nugget- The blind date – How to be gracious</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To Be a Good Guest”</p>
<p>When I was little, my immediate family quite honestly, was pretty stressed all the time and angry and kind of hateful. I was always surprised by how the relatives put up with. I actually had to cut them off. It's not something I did lightly. It took many, many therapists to get me out of that situation. As a whole though, my family and its dynamics was very much the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. It was exactly like that but Persian. The relatives would get together every week; parties all the time, get-togethers all the time; always in each other's business and very loud and the dinners are not just like quiet dinners with seven people.</p>
<p>As a child, every time I had to go to one of these parties, (I mean, other people would call them parties for us, it was just a Friday night), the amount of stuff that would happen in our home that I grew up in was just not happy. There was screaming, yelling, criticism, body shaming, all kinds of shaming, you name it. It was heavy. And this was right before going to see the relatives. As a kid, you can't just switch that off and go to a party and be the life of the party as a guest in someone’s home (at least, I couldn’t). Every time I was at a party, I would be in a corner sulking. At parties, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to be around anyone. My feelings were hurt and no one else really understood that. My relatives would try to force me to dance and grab my arms, drag me to get up out of the chair, to get me away from the corner. And it just hurt my feelings even more. I didn't understand the concept of a party or being a guest, even being a host.  To this day, when I have to go to a party I have inner turmoil because I feel less than, ugly, body morph issues galore stemming from those times as a child.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took years, many, many years to realize the responsibility I have as a guest and how important that is. It took being away from all that drama, moving away and hosting my own parties, attending all kinds of parties, to realize the art of being a good guest.</p>
<p>What is it to be a good guest?  As much as I have empathy for my childhood self, I realized the act of sitting in a corner, sulking and not being a participant is giving the haters all the power, it’s such a downer for the whole place and a waste of time. We are here to live and to enjoy life. And just like that, I realized all of a sudden, like a flip of a coin, that I was the life of the party.  </p>
<p>Here’s what I do: I interview people at parties like they’re major celebrities. I asked them questions about their lives. I marvel at what they are wearing, about how great they are, how great they look, and how interesting they are. I will give people the red carpet treatment. I enjoy the food and drink and express gratitude for the amazing feast. I dance like a fool and laugh. I help carry the party. And here’s the thing, the party is in daily life.</p>
<p>These are the things I am trying to teach my daughters. But really they were born with these instincts, until we came across one mean person after another and now I have to make sure they are brave and strong again; so they can go out boldly, enjoy and embrace life again, before the time the haters tried to dampen their flame. We all need to embrace life again!</p>
<p>My little girl (at two years old) with gusto, would step into every room and victoriously make an announcement that we were there (that we had arrived). We would go to swim lessons. We would push the doors of the public indoor swimming pool open together and with arms stretched out like she was embracing the entire place and all the swimmers, with voice echoing loudly she would exclaim that we’re swimming today! The only people that seemed to get that genius were the “old” people (in the water aerobics class) who laughed...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Your responsibility to party – How to be a good guest
Nugget- The blind date – How to be gracious
 
“To Be a Good Guest”
When I was little, my immediate family quite honestly, was pretty stressed all the time and angry and kind of hateful. I was always surprised by how the relatives put up with. I actually had to cut them off. It's not something I did lightly. It took many, many therapists to get me out of that situation. As a whole though, my family and its dynamics was very much the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. It was exactly like that but Persian. The relatives would get together every week; parties all the time, get-togethers all the time; always in each other's business and very loud and the dinners are not just like quiet dinners with seven people.
As a child, every time I had to go to one of these parties, (I mean, other people would call them parties for us, it was just a Friday night), the amount of stuff that would happen in our home that I grew up in was just not happy. There was screaming, yelling, criticism, body shaming, all kinds of shaming, you name it. It was heavy. And this was right before going to see the relatives. As a kid, you can't just switch that off and go to a party and be the life of the party as a guest in someone’s home (at least, I couldn’t). Every time I was at a party, I would be in a corner sulking. At parties, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to be around anyone. My feelings were hurt and no one else really understood that. My relatives would try to force me to dance and grab my arms, drag me to get up out of the chair, to get me away from the corner. And it just hurt my feelings even more. I didn't understand the concept of a party or being a guest, even being a host.  To this day, when I have to go to a party I have inner turmoil because I feel less than, ugly, body morph issues galore stemming from those times as a child.
 
It took years, many, many years to realize the responsibility I have as a guest and how important that is. It took being away from all that drama, moving away and hosting my own parties, attending all kinds of parties, to realize the art of being a good guest.
What is it to be a good guest?  As much as I have empathy for my childhood self, I realized the act of sitting in a corner, sulking and not being a participant is giving the haters all the power, it’s such a downer for the whole place and a waste of time. We are here to live and to enjoy life. And just like that, I realized all of a sudden, like a flip of a coin, that I was the life of the party.  
Here’s what I do: I interview people at parties like they’re major celebrities. I asked them questions about their lives. I marvel at what they are wearing, about how great they are, how great they look, and how interesting they are. I will give people the red carpet treatment. I enjoy the food and drink and express gratitude for the amazing feast. I dance like a fool and laugh. I help carry the party. And here’s the thing, the party is in daily life.
These are the things I am trying to teach my daughters. But really they were born with these instincts, until we came across one mean person after another and now I have to make sure they are brave and strong again; so they can go out boldly, enjoy and embrace life again, before the time the haters tried to dampen their flame. We all need to embrace life again!
My little girl (at two years old) with gusto, would step into every room and victoriously make an announcement that we were there (that we had arrived). We would go to swim lessons. We would push the doors of the public indoor swimming pool open together and with arms stretched out like she was embracing the entire place and all the swimmers, with voice echoing loudly she would exclaim that we’re swimming today! The only people that seemed to get that genius were the “old” people (in the water aerobics class) who laughed...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Being a Good Guest]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>21</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Your responsibility to party – How to be a good guest</p>
<p>Nugget- The blind date – How to be gracious</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To Be a Good Guest”</p>
<p>When I was little, my immediate family quite honestly, was pretty stressed all the time and angry and kind of hateful. I was always surprised by how the relatives put up with. I actually had to cut them off. It's not something I did lightly. It took many, many therapists to get me out of that situation. As a whole though, my family and its dynamics was very much the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. It was exactly like that but Persian. The relatives would get together every week; parties all the time, get-togethers all the time; always in each other's business and very loud and the dinners are not just like quiet dinners with seven people.</p>
<p>As a child, every time I had to go to one of these parties, (I mean, other people would call them parties for us, it was just a Friday night), the amount of stuff that would happen in our home that I grew up in was just not happy. There was screaming, yelling, criticism, body shaming, all kinds of shaming, you name it. It was heavy. And this was right before going to see the relatives. As a kid, you can't just switch that off and go to a party and be the life of the party as a guest in someone’s home (at least, I couldn’t). Every time I was at a party, I would be in a corner sulking. At parties, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to be around anyone. My feelings were hurt and no one else really understood that. My relatives would try to force me to dance and grab my arms, drag me to get up out of the chair, to get me away from the corner. And it just hurt my feelings even more. I didn't understand the concept of a party or being a guest, even being a host.  To this day, when I have to go to a party I have inner turmoil because I feel less than, ugly, body morph issues galore stemming from those times as a child.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took years, many, many years to realize the responsibility I have as a guest and how important that is. It took being away from all that drama, moving away and hosting my own parties, attending all kinds of parties, to realize the art of being a good guest.</p>
<p>What is it to be a good guest?  As much as I have empathy for my childhood self, I realized the act of sitting in a corner, sulking and not being a participant is giving the haters all the power, it’s such a downer for the whole place and a waste of time. We are here to live and to enjoy life. And just like that, I realized all of a sudden, like a flip of a coin, that I was the life of the party.  </p>
<p>Here’s what I do: I interview people at parties like they’re major celebrities. I asked them questions about their lives. I marvel at what they are wearing, about how great they are, how great they look, and how interesting they are. I will give people the red carpet treatment. I enjoy the food and drink and express gratitude for the amazing feast. I dance like a fool and laugh. I help carry the party. And here’s the thing, the party is in daily life.</p>
<p>These are the things I am trying to teach my daughters. But really they were born with these instincts, until we came across one mean person after another and now I have to make sure they are brave and strong again; so they can go out boldly, enjoy and embrace life again, before the time the haters tried to dampen their flame. We all need to embrace life again!</p>
<p>My little girl (at two years old) with gusto, would step into every room and victoriously make an announcement that we were there (that we had arrived). We would go to swim lessons. We would push the doors of the public indoor swimming pool open together and with arms stretched out like she was embracing the entire place and all the swimmers, with voice echoing loudly she would exclaim that we’re swimming today! The only people that seemed to get that genius were the “old” people (in the water aerobics class) who laughed and nodded in agreement, acknowledging the privilege of life and of the activity at hand.</p>
<p>There's a reason why you were invited to the party (at a party or life in general). Figure that out. Go out unscripted. Don’t try to control the conversation. Just go with the flow. Get interested. Become unpredictable and interesting. Be open to having parties of your own and invite someone dangerous(but not psycho) over for tea! Improvise! Interact! Dress up! Wear something to make yourself chuckle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think, as a culture, we forgot how to have a good time. I have found that when people get together, they need to be inebriated to push back feelings. It shouldn’t have to be that way. I just think that that we’re not used to giving parties. We're not used to entertaining and when and if we do, all our issues are there. Think of it as kind working out (exercising).  When we work out a lot and use our muscles, all the kinks go away, the pain goes away and we get used to it. We get into the rhythm. It all becomes fluid, but if we're not used to entertaining and entertain only for special occasions, (like birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.), when people get together in that situation, all the resentments are there. But if we entertain more often, those issues don’t matter as much (they’re old news). The kinks get buffered out, they get get oiled and everything becomes fluid. We become fluid. We become a part of that dance of socialization.</p>
<p>If we're not used to entertaining, we don't know how to be a good guests. We don't know how to be a good host. We can have fun disagreeing with people; have our views stretched by totally different ideas other than our own. We can afford to be completely, unapologetically authentic. We should showcase who we are as well as applaud others for who they are. Let’s be ok with confrontation and treat it as no big thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>To be able to converse with someone and to have a relationship with someone, you have to know what language they use (what words they use), you have to be aware of their wordage and how they speak, so when you have a conversation with them, you know what words trigger or how they communicate. It's kind of the same when we're going to the house. We need to know how they believe good hosting is and what kind of a guest we need to be in their home. It's a fine line; a fine line that we have to figure out as we go.</p>
<p>Soon this pandemic and social physical isolation will be behind us. Now is the time to start preparing and to start thinking about how we go over to someone's sanctuary, reading social people’s cues. There's going to be a lot of social awkwardness for sure. And the social awkwardness was there, but no one was really admitting to it. I think. Just bear all of that in mind as the host and as the guest.</p>
<p>Think about what kind of get-togethers you want to have because folks, friends, this time of loneliness and isolation will be over. We need to get through it, and before you know it, we'll be hanging out in person again.</p>
<p>Think about being a good guest and what kind of conversation starters you're going to have, or like how you're going to notice things you've never noticed before and seeing some other person in the room and how you'd approach them.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com</a></p>
<p>instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/">https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/</a><br />Leave a review on iTunes for a chance to win a print from Fawn's coffee table book (see a few sample pages here: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/iamfamilyphotoalbum/">https://www.instagram.com/iamfamilyphotoalbum/</a>) send us a screen shot of your review via email on our website www.ourfriendlyworld.com to be entered.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Your responsibility to party – How to be a good guest
Nugget- The blind date – How to be gracious
 
“To Be a Good Guest”
When I was little, my immediate family quite honestly, was pretty stressed all the time and angry and kind of hateful. I was always surprised by how the relatives put up with. I actually had to cut them off. It's not something I did lightly. It took many, many therapists to get me out of that situation. As a whole though, my family and its dynamics was very much the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. It was exactly like that but Persian. The relatives would get together every week; parties all the time, get-togethers all the time; always in each other's business and very loud and the dinners are not just like quiet dinners with seven people.
As a child, every time I had to go to one of these parties, (I mean, other people would call them parties for us, it was just a Friday night), the amount of stuff that would happen in our home that I grew up in was just not happy. There was screaming, yelling, criticism, body shaming, all kinds of shaming, you name it. It was heavy. And this was right before going to see the relatives. As a kid, you can't just switch that off and go to a party and be the life of the party as a guest in someone’s home (at least, I couldn’t). Every time I was at a party, I would be in a corner sulking. At parties, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to be around anyone. My feelings were hurt and no one else really understood that. My relatives would try to force me to dance and grab my arms, drag me to get up out of the chair, to get me away from the corner. And it just hurt my feelings even more. I didn't understand the concept of a party or being a guest, even being a host.  To this day, when I have to go to a party I have inner turmoil because I feel less than, ugly, body morph issues galore stemming from those times as a child.
 
It took years, many, many years to realize the responsibility I have as a guest and how important that is. It took being away from all that drama, moving away and hosting my own parties, attending all kinds of parties, to realize the art of being a good guest.
What is it to be a good guest?  As much as I have empathy for my childhood self, I realized the act of sitting in a corner, sulking and not being a participant is giving the haters all the power, it’s such a downer for the whole place and a waste of time. We are here to live and to enjoy life. And just like that, I realized all of a sudden, like a flip of a coin, that I was the life of the party.  
Here’s what I do: I interview people at parties like they’re major celebrities. I asked them questions about their lives. I marvel at what they are wearing, about how great they are, how great they look, and how interesting they are. I will give people the red carpet treatment. I enjoy the food and drink and express gratitude for the amazing feast. I dance like a fool and laugh. I help carry the party. And here’s the thing, the party is in daily life.
These are the things I am trying to teach my daughters. But really they were born with these instincts, until we came across one mean person after another and now I have to make sure they are brave and strong again; so they can go out boldly, enjoy and embrace life again, before the time the haters tried to dampen their flame. We all need to embrace life again!
My little girl (at two years old) with gusto, would step into every room and victoriously make an announcement that we were there (that we had arrived). We would go to swim lessons. We would push the doors of the public indoor swimming pool open together and with arms stretched out like she was embracing the entire place and all the swimmers, with voice echoing loudly she would exclaim that we’re swimming today! The only people that seemed to get that genius were the “old” people (in the water aerobics class) who laughed...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Toddler-drinking-from-a-teacup-with-red-hat-pulled-over-her-head.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:00:17</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Friends, Not Friends, and Secret Friend?]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/friends-not-friends-and-secret-friend</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/friends-not-friends-and-secret-friend</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt break out all their dictionaries and read all the definitions of friendship and have a good laugh. Then THEY break it down for real.</p>
<p>Fawn feels a kinship, like a family type feeling about certain people, to which Matt says they are not friends because they don’t even know you!</p>
<p>Fawn says we're all connected, at the risk of sounding way too woo woo. So yeah, this person doesn't know I exist perhaps, but they've touched my life profoundly. And because they touched my life, I shared how they touched my life with my close friends and so they also get touched and changed because of this person. Do they (the person that hasn’t met us) know how they changed lives?</p>
<p>When I tell other people about this person and it changes their life, it's a ripple effect.</p>
<p>My idea of friendship is getting a little bit more fluid, especially in the time of 2020, and the fact that we can't be together. Before 2020, our criteria was that to have a substantial friendship, you had to be together within a close proximity and not on social media, but in real life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What are we going to do? How can we define it?</p>
<p><strong>Are we growing as friends? Are we growing together towards something?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> I'm still gonna take the hard line and say, there's a mystical connection that happens when you're physically present; physically adjacent to one another.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn talks about</strong> how sometimes all she has is a tree to lean on… “I'm just saying, I'm trying to get it (the support of a friendly force) wherever I can find it. And if you think about it spiritually, you're never alone. There's always,  you're a part of everything. Everything is a part of you. You have to broaden your scope.”</p>
<p><u>Fawn and Matt totally disagree</u> about what a friendship is.</p>
<p><strong>Fawns point:</strong> it is about connection. You have to recognize the connection. So when you are in a physical friendship situation, you can say, yeah, this is the connection. You have to look for it, even though you're locked down. Well, if you want to talk about it, as far as it feeling like you have to exercise those muscles, you have to exercise attention to the feelings. You need to have those feelings to live. It's like water and air. You need those feelings. And I'm saying to you sometimes you're in solitary mode and you need to have those feelings, first of all, within yourself. You have to be your own friend. You have to recognize happiness within yourself and not from the outside world. And that's key to friendship. You have to have that knowledge. You have to have that expertise about the feeling of friendship when you meet other people. It will enhance everything because you know that feeling, you know that dance, and you can pick it out from the ether.</p>
<p>THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENS! Fawn convinces Matt to shift his view!  Matt: Friendship has to have a component of effort. There is no passivity in friendship.</p>
<p>Leave a review on iTunes to be eligible to win a print from Fawn's coffee table book. Send us an email with a screenshot of your review to be enetered.<br />Go to our website to eamil and to leave us a message: www.ourfriendlyworld.com</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt break out all their dictionaries and read all the definitions of friendship and have a good laugh. Then THEY break it down for real.
Fawn feels a kinship, like a family type feeling about certain people, to which Matt says they are not friends because they don’t even know you!
Fawn says we're all connected, at the risk of sounding way too woo woo. So yeah, this person doesn't know I exist perhaps, but they've touched my life profoundly. And because they touched my life, I shared how they touched my life with my close friends and so they also get touched and changed because of this person. Do they (the person that hasn’t met us) know how they changed lives?
When I tell other people about this person and it changes their life, it's a ripple effect.
My idea of friendship is getting a little bit more fluid, especially in the time of 2020, and the fact that we can't be together. Before 2020, our criteria was that to have a substantial friendship, you had to be together within a close proximity and not on social media, but in real life.
 
 
What are we going to do? How can we define it?
Are we growing as friends? Are we growing together towards something?
 
Matt: I'm still gonna take the hard line and say, there's a mystical connection that happens when you're physically present; physically adjacent to one another.
Fawn talks about how sometimes all she has is a tree to lean on… “I'm just saying, I'm trying to get it (the support of a friendly force) wherever I can find it. And if you think about it spiritually, you're never alone. There's always,  you're a part of everything. Everything is a part of you. You have to broaden your scope.”
Fawn and Matt totally disagree about what a friendship is.
Fawns point: it is about connection. You have to recognize the connection. So when you are in a physical friendship situation, you can say, yeah, this is the connection. You have to look for it, even though you're locked down. Well, if you want to talk about it, as far as it feeling like you have to exercise those muscles, you have to exercise attention to the feelings. You need to have those feelings to live. It's like water and air. You need those feelings. And I'm saying to you sometimes you're in solitary mode and you need to have those feelings, first of all, within yourself. You have to be your own friend. You have to recognize happiness within yourself and not from the outside world. And that's key to friendship. You have to have that knowledge. You have to have that expertise about the feeling of friendship when you meet other people. It will enhance everything because you know that feeling, you know that dance, and you can pick it out from the ether.
THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENS! Fawn convinces Matt to shift his view!  Matt: Friendship has to have a component of effort. There is no passivity in friendship.
Leave a review on iTunes to be eligible to win a print from Fawn's coffee table book. Send us an email with a screenshot of your review to be enetered.Go to our website to eamil and to leave us a message: www.ourfriendlyworld.com]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Friends, Not Friends, and Secret Friend?]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>20</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt break out all their dictionaries and read all the definitions of friendship and have a good laugh. Then THEY break it down for real.</p>
<p>Fawn feels a kinship, like a family type feeling about certain people, to which Matt says they are not friends because they don’t even know you!</p>
<p>Fawn says we're all connected, at the risk of sounding way too woo woo. So yeah, this person doesn't know I exist perhaps, but they've touched my life profoundly. And because they touched my life, I shared how they touched my life with my close friends and so they also get touched and changed because of this person. Do they (the person that hasn’t met us) know how they changed lives?</p>
<p>When I tell other people about this person and it changes their life, it's a ripple effect.</p>
<p>My idea of friendship is getting a little bit more fluid, especially in the time of 2020, and the fact that we can't be together. Before 2020, our criteria was that to have a substantial friendship, you had to be together within a close proximity and not on social media, but in real life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What are we going to do? How can we define it?</p>
<p><strong>Are we growing as friends? Are we growing together towards something?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong> I'm still gonna take the hard line and say, there's a mystical connection that happens when you're physically present; physically adjacent to one another.</p>
<p><strong>Fawn talks about</strong> how sometimes all she has is a tree to lean on… “I'm just saying, I'm trying to get it (the support of a friendly force) wherever I can find it. And if you think about it spiritually, you're never alone. There's always,  you're a part of everything. Everything is a part of you. You have to broaden your scope.”</p>
<p><u>Fawn and Matt totally disagree</u> about what a friendship is.</p>
<p><strong>Fawns point:</strong> it is about connection. You have to recognize the connection. So when you are in a physical friendship situation, you can say, yeah, this is the connection. You have to look for it, even though you're locked down. Well, if you want to talk about it, as far as it feeling like you have to exercise those muscles, you have to exercise attention to the feelings. You need to have those feelings to live. It's like water and air. You need those feelings. And I'm saying to you sometimes you're in solitary mode and you need to have those feelings, first of all, within yourself. You have to be your own friend. You have to recognize happiness within yourself and not from the outside world. And that's key to friendship. You have to have that knowledge. You have to have that expertise about the feeling of friendship when you meet other people. It will enhance everything because you know that feeling, you know that dance, and you can pick it out from the ether.</p>
<p>THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENS! Fawn convinces Matt to shift his view!  Matt: Friendship has to have a component of effort. There is no passivity in friendship.</p>
<p>Leave a review on iTunes to be eligible to win a print from Fawn's coffee table book. Send us an email with a screenshot of your review to be enetered.<br />Go to our website to eamil and to leave us a message: www.ourfriendlyworld.com</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-20-Friends-Not-Friends-Secret-Friend-.wav" length="288400710"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt break out all their dictionaries and read all the definitions of friendship and have a good laugh. Then THEY break it down for real.
Fawn feels a kinship, like a family type feeling about certain people, to which Matt says they are not friends because they don’t even know you!
Fawn says we're all connected, at the risk of sounding way too woo woo. So yeah, this person doesn't know I exist perhaps, but they've touched my life profoundly. And because they touched my life, I shared how they touched my life with my close friends and so they also get touched and changed because of this person. Do they (the person that hasn’t met us) know how they changed lives?
When I tell other people about this person and it changes their life, it's a ripple effect.
My idea of friendship is getting a little bit more fluid, especially in the time of 2020, and the fact that we can't be together. Before 2020, our criteria was that to have a substantial friendship, you had to be together within a close proximity and not on social media, but in real life.
 
 
What are we going to do? How can we define it?
Are we growing as friends? Are we growing together towards something?
 
Matt: I'm still gonna take the hard line and say, there's a mystical connection that happens when you're physically present; physically adjacent to one another.
Fawn talks about how sometimes all she has is a tree to lean on… “I'm just saying, I'm trying to get it (the support of a friendly force) wherever I can find it. And if you think about it spiritually, you're never alone. There's always,  you're a part of everything. Everything is a part of you. You have to broaden your scope.”
Fawn and Matt totally disagree about what a friendship is.
Fawns point: it is about connection. You have to recognize the connection. So when you are in a physical friendship situation, you can say, yeah, this is the connection. You have to look for it, even though you're locked down. Well, if you want to talk about it, as far as it feeling like you have to exercise those muscles, you have to exercise attention to the feelings. You need to have those feelings to live. It's like water and air. You need those feelings. And I'm saying to you sometimes you're in solitary mode and you need to have those feelings, first of all, within yourself. You have to be your own friend. You have to recognize happiness within yourself and not from the outside world. And that's key to friendship. You have to have that knowledge. You have to have that expertise about the feeling of friendship when you meet other people. It will enhance everything because you know that feeling, you know that dance, and you can pick it out from the ether.
THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENS! Fawn convinces Matt to shift his view!  Matt: Friendship has to have a component of effort. There is no passivity in friendship.
Leave a review on iTunes to be eligible to win a print from Fawn's coffee table book. Send us an email with a screenshot of your review to be enetered.Go to our website to eamil and to leave us a message: www.ourfriendlyworld.com]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:54:29</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Asimov, the Foundation, and the Atomic Knife]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Dec 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/asimov-the-foundation-and-the-atomic-knife</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/asimov-the-foundation-and-the-atomic-knife</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Today's Pearl has to do with fine lines and the path that we walk on. We discuss having the intention, awareness, and the wherewithal of knowing how we walk in the world.  One of those paths we referred to as “A.W.O.L.” which in Santa Monica, California, stood for “Always West of Lincoln”.</p>
<p>Then there’s the Camino de Santiago (the Way of St. James) which is a large network of ancient pilgrim routes stretching across Europe and coming together at the tomb of St. James (Santiago in Spanish) in Santiago de Compostela in north-west Spain. We talk about this path and Fawn talks about listening to Caroline Myss and her experience as she walked part of this path and the insight she (Caroline Myss) shared.</p>
<p>There's a fine line to everything. We can walk on a path and if we veer even one step to the left or the right, we’ll have a completely different experience. As a photographer, Fawn is especially true in her field of art and how looking at the same thing, we will all have a completely different perspective.</p>
<p> Matt: “I think generally speaking, when you're walking the path, you're meant to walk, it feels easy. It feels comfortable. It feels right…and so it's about trying to find where that spot is or where that path is.”</p>
<p>Fawn: “I felt like a needle in an acupuncture session (there are some paths and places that I feel perfectly in tune with and others I pop out of and just don’t belong in)…it's just taking into consideration everything that's involved; even the forces that you may not be aware of, that you can't see, you have to feel for it.”</p>
<p>On today's episode, we are talking about foundation -  Isaac Asimov's <em>“Foundation”.</em> Matt explains the story and explains how Asimov is one of the great classic science fiction writers (science fiction writers of the 1940 and 50s were the seers of our society).</p>
<p>Fawn’s take on Asimov and the questions that arise for her are: what are we fighting for? What is it that we're striving for?  What are we going to create as far as a society in which there's balance, truth, and something symbiotic. How are we going to create that?</p>
<p>Once again, we bring in Aristotle and his Nicomachean Ethics (the three kinds of friendship) and bring it into focus as it relates to Asimov’s “Foundation” story. Aristotle pointed out the three forms of friendship as 1), there are those who love you because you are useful to them. 2), there are those who love you because your company provides them with pleasure. 3), is what Aristotle says is when you know, you have true friendship, like lifelong friendship that will withstand: those who love you because you're a good person.</p>
<p>In relation to the Nichomachean ethics and relating Aristotle’s ethics to Asimov’s Foundation: it's all about knowing who we are, knowing how we are useful, knowing how we are of service, and knowing how we make other people feel.</p>
<p>Matt shares a painful lesson about a work relationship.</p>
<p>Matt’s advice is to focus your attention where it matters and figuring out where it matters can be a tricky thing.</p>
<p>Matt: “…and if you want to look at it, very digital and hard and logical and everything else, same goes for friendships. You know, you cast your net out upon, across the waters it feels like to me sometimes. And sometimes you catch a fish and sometimes you don't.  And where you don't, where you don't get something back; if your friendship is strictly a one way street, it's maybe not a friendship.”</p>
<p>Fawn explains that to know if there is balance is key, and using Aristotle’s ethics we can save so much time and heartache because once we are in the beginning of getting to know another person, we can (in a non-charged way), look at a situation and figure out which of these three is happening. At this point and using Nichomachian tools, we're not emotionally attached, so we're able to see clearly. We're not going to get all bent out of shape when we realize a person is just u...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Today's Pearl has to do with fine lines and the path that we walk on. We discuss having the intention, awareness, and the wherewithal of knowing how we walk in the world.  One of those paths we referred to as “A.W.O.L.” which in Santa Monica, California, stood for “Always West of Lincoln”.
Then there’s the Camino de Santiago (the Way of St. James) which is a large network of ancient pilgrim routes stretching across Europe and coming together at the tomb of St. James (Santiago in Spanish) in Santiago de Compostela in north-west Spain. We talk about this path and Fawn talks about listening to Caroline Myss and her experience as she walked part of this path and the insight she (Caroline Myss) shared.
There's a fine line to everything. We can walk on a path and if we veer even one step to the left or the right, we’ll have a completely different experience. As a photographer, Fawn is especially true in her field of art and how looking at the same thing, we will all have a completely different perspective.
 Matt: “I think generally speaking, when you're walking the path, you're meant to walk, it feels easy. It feels comfortable. It feels right…and so it's about trying to find where that spot is or where that path is.”
Fawn: “I felt like a needle in an acupuncture session (there are some paths and places that I feel perfectly in tune with and others I pop out of and just don’t belong in)…it's just taking into consideration everything that's involved; even the forces that you may not be aware of, that you can't see, you have to feel for it.”
On today's episode, we are talking about foundation -  Isaac Asimov's “Foundation”. Matt explains the story and explains how Asimov is one of the great classic science fiction writers (science fiction writers of the 1940 and 50s were the seers of our society).
Fawn’s take on Asimov and the questions that arise for her are: what are we fighting for? What is it that we're striving for?  What are we going to create as far as a society in which there's balance, truth, and something symbiotic. How are we going to create that?
Once again, we bring in Aristotle and his Nicomachean Ethics (the three kinds of friendship) and bring it into focus as it relates to Asimov’s “Foundation” story. Aristotle pointed out the three forms of friendship as 1), there are those who love you because you are useful to them. 2), there are those who love you because your company provides them with pleasure. 3), is what Aristotle says is when you know, you have true friendship, like lifelong friendship that will withstand: those who love you because you're a good person.
In relation to the Nichomachean ethics and relating Aristotle’s ethics to Asimov’s Foundation: it's all about knowing who we are, knowing how we are useful, knowing how we are of service, and knowing how we make other people feel.
Matt shares a painful lesson about a work relationship.
Matt’s advice is to focus your attention where it matters and figuring out where it matters can be a tricky thing.
Matt: “…and if you want to look at it, very digital and hard and logical and everything else, same goes for friendships. You know, you cast your net out upon, across the waters it feels like to me sometimes. And sometimes you catch a fish and sometimes you don't.  And where you don't, where you don't get something back; if your friendship is strictly a one way street, it's maybe not a friendship.”
Fawn explains that to know if there is balance is key, and using Aristotle’s ethics we can save so much time and heartache because once we are in the beginning of getting to know another person, we can (in a non-charged way), look at a situation and figure out which of these three is happening. At this point and using Nichomachian tools, we're not emotionally attached, so we're able to see clearly. We're not going to get all bent out of shape when we realize a person is just u...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Asimov, the Foundation, and the Atomic Knife]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>19</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Today's Pearl has to do with fine lines and the path that we walk on. We discuss having the intention, awareness, and the wherewithal of knowing how we walk in the world.  One of those paths we referred to as “A.W.O.L.” which in Santa Monica, California, stood for “Always West of Lincoln”.</p>
<p>Then there’s the Camino de Santiago (the Way of St. James) which is a large network of ancient pilgrim routes stretching across Europe and coming together at the tomb of St. James (Santiago in Spanish) in Santiago de Compostela in north-west Spain. We talk about this path and Fawn talks about listening to Caroline Myss and her experience as she walked part of this path and the insight she (Caroline Myss) shared.</p>
<p>There's a fine line to everything. We can walk on a path and if we veer even one step to the left or the right, we’ll have a completely different experience. As a photographer, Fawn is especially true in her field of art and how looking at the same thing, we will all have a completely different perspective.</p>
<p> Matt: “I think generally speaking, when you're walking the path, you're meant to walk, it feels easy. It feels comfortable. It feels right…and so it's about trying to find where that spot is or where that path is.”</p>
<p>Fawn: “I felt like a needle in an acupuncture session (there are some paths and places that I feel perfectly in tune with and others I pop out of and just don’t belong in)…it's just taking into consideration everything that's involved; even the forces that you may not be aware of, that you can't see, you have to feel for it.”</p>
<p>On today's episode, we are talking about foundation -  Isaac Asimov's <em>“Foundation”.</em> Matt explains the story and explains how Asimov is one of the great classic science fiction writers (science fiction writers of the 1940 and 50s were the seers of our society).</p>
<p>Fawn’s take on Asimov and the questions that arise for her are: what are we fighting for? What is it that we're striving for?  What are we going to create as far as a society in which there's balance, truth, and something symbiotic. How are we going to create that?</p>
<p>Once again, we bring in Aristotle and his Nicomachean Ethics (the three kinds of friendship) and bring it into focus as it relates to Asimov’s “Foundation” story. Aristotle pointed out the three forms of friendship as 1), there are those who love you because you are useful to them. 2), there are those who love you because your company provides them with pleasure. 3), is what Aristotle says is when you know, you have true friendship, like lifelong friendship that will withstand: those who love you because you're a good person.</p>
<p>In relation to the Nichomachean ethics and relating Aristotle’s ethics to Asimov’s Foundation: it's all about knowing who we are, knowing how we are useful, knowing how we are of service, and knowing how we make other people feel.</p>
<p>Matt shares a painful lesson about a work relationship.</p>
<p>Matt’s advice is to focus your attention where it matters and figuring out where it matters can be a tricky thing.</p>
<p>Matt: “…and if you want to look at it, very digital and hard and logical and everything else, same goes for friendships. You know, you cast your net out upon, across the waters it feels like to me sometimes. And sometimes you catch a fish and sometimes you don't.  And where you don't, where you don't get something back; if your friendship is strictly a one way street, it's maybe not a friendship.”</p>
<p>Fawn explains that to know if there is balance is key, and using Aristotle’s ethics we can save so much time and heartache because once we are in the beginning of getting to know another person, we can (in a non-charged way), look at a situation and figure out which of these three is happening. At this point and using Nichomachian tools, we're not emotionally attached, so we're able to see clearly. We're not going to get all bent out of shape when we realize a person is just using our friendship for their own selfish reasons. This works in business also.</p>
<p>Matt brings up Herman Hesse and examples (33 minute point) of different forms of attachments, where friends rely on each other’s gifts and how these types of friendships have been beneficial and have been the way of things for thousands of years (once again Matt is respectfully in disagreement to Fawn and Aristotle’s point of view).</p>
<p>The “Foundation” story becomes the example of how we are today, in our society, and how we take care of ourselves and each other. How does “CONVENIENCE” play a major factor? How is “convenience” related to WWII and our present state? How can we create a better life? How can we create change? Fawn and Matt share their ideas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>www.ourfriendlyworld.com</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-19-Asimov-Foundation.wav" length="266321652"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Today's Pearl has to do with fine lines and the path that we walk on. We discuss having the intention, awareness, and the wherewithal of knowing how we walk in the world.  One of those paths we referred to as “A.W.O.L.” which in Santa Monica, California, stood for “Always West of Lincoln”.
Then there’s the Camino de Santiago (the Way of St. James) which is a large network of ancient pilgrim routes stretching across Europe and coming together at the tomb of St. James (Santiago in Spanish) in Santiago de Compostela in north-west Spain. We talk about this path and Fawn talks about listening to Caroline Myss and her experience as she walked part of this path and the insight she (Caroline Myss) shared.
There's a fine line to everything. We can walk on a path and if we veer even one step to the left or the right, we’ll have a completely different experience. As a photographer, Fawn is especially true in her field of art and how looking at the same thing, we will all have a completely different perspective.
 Matt: “I think generally speaking, when you're walking the path, you're meant to walk, it feels easy. It feels comfortable. It feels right…and so it's about trying to find where that spot is or where that path is.”
Fawn: “I felt like a needle in an acupuncture session (there are some paths and places that I feel perfectly in tune with and others I pop out of and just don’t belong in)…it's just taking into consideration everything that's involved; even the forces that you may not be aware of, that you can't see, you have to feel for it.”
On today's episode, we are talking about foundation -  Isaac Asimov's “Foundation”. Matt explains the story and explains how Asimov is one of the great classic science fiction writers (science fiction writers of the 1940 and 50s were the seers of our society).
Fawn’s take on Asimov and the questions that arise for her are: what are we fighting for? What is it that we're striving for?  What are we going to create as far as a society in which there's balance, truth, and something symbiotic. How are we going to create that?
Once again, we bring in Aristotle and his Nicomachean Ethics (the three kinds of friendship) and bring it into focus as it relates to Asimov’s “Foundation” story. Aristotle pointed out the three forms of friendship as 1), there are those who love you because you are useful to them. 2), there are those who love you because your company provides them with pleasure. 3), is what Aristotle says is when you know, you have true friendship, like lifelong friendship that will withstand: those who love you because you're a good person.
In relation to the Nichomachean ethics and relating Aristotle’s ethics to Asimov’s Foundation: it's all about knowing who we are, knowing how we are useful, knowing how we are of service, and knowing how we make other people feel.
Matt shares a painful lesson about a work relationship.
Matt’s advice is to focus your attention where it matters and figuring out where it matters can be a tricky thing.
Matt: “…and if you want to look at it, very digital and hard and logical and everything else, same goes for friendships. You know, you cast your net out upon, across the waters it feels like to me sometimes. And sometimes you catch a fish and sometimes you don't.  And where you don't, where you don't get something back; if your friendship is strictly a one way street, it's maybe not a friendship.”
Fawn explains that to know if there is balance is key, and using Aristotle’s ethics we can save so much time and heartache because once we are in the beginning of getting to know another person, we can (in a non-charged way), look at a situation and figure out which of these three is happening. At this point and using Nichomachian tools, we're not emotionally attached, so we're able to see clearly. We're not going to get all bent out of shape when we realize a person is just u...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Knife-.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:50:19</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Alpha Beta...]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/alpha-beta</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/alpha-beta</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p> Jennifer Lopez, (aka Jenny from the block, JLO) visits and shoots a movie in the neighborhood and comments about our little village by asking: “Does anyone work?” when filming the movie “Monster In-Law”. She was noticing our way of being in our community. The truth is we all worked but we didn’t all have traditional “9-5” jobs. We also knew how to luxuriate and enjoy every single day and to someone looking in from the outside, it appeared that we just hung and played all day.</p>
<p>The Pearl of wisdom is to enjoy your life for God's sake. Just enjoy. Notice the trifles. There is really no need to rush. Put on your roller blades, roller skates, flip-flops, sit, sit at a coffee shop holding on to a cup of your favorite coffee, play, eat, watch the light change, drink a great delicious drink, ride a bicycle, feel the sand between your toes, feel the sun on your body, take a stroll, do a little dance down the sidewalk…you get the idea, right?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The focus of this week’s podcast is on the alpha, beta, omega, gamma, sigma… definitions of personalities that seem so rigid and outdated according to Fawn and Matt, as they break down the meaning of each stereotype and discuss who and how people really are away from these limited beliefs that society tries to impose.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt share their experiences.  Fawn shares her own limited beliefs about herself and how she realized that her friendship with one of her greatest friends got weird for her at one point, without her friend even realizing it, all because of her (Fawn’s) own insecurities about herself and her professional qualifications/identities where she felt “less than” or subordinate and not the alpha dog she perhaps wanted to be.</p>
<p><strong>The DEFINITIONS: (We DISLIKE most of THESE DEFINITIONS! They are awful! One of the sources for these definitions came from themindsjournal.com</strong></p>
<p><strong><u>Alpha</u></strong> is generally considered the strongest of the group. They're very, very competitive. They're aggressive, very domineering. They're like the influencer. They're the ones that take charge. They're very bossy and often they're considered uncaring. They're just kind of like a bull. They just go and go for it. They take over.</p>
<p><strong><u>Beta</u></strong> is the supportive person, who is sensitive, modest, easygoing, and reliable.  They're collaborative. They tend to be more reserved. They're more responsible and they're often seen as insecure.</p>
<p><strong><u>Omega</u></strong> is the type of person that will be seen as neurotic, laid back, eccentric, and least likely to take initiative. They're considered, the lowest on the chain of command. They tend to have low self-esteem. They are seen as having dismal lives, and yet they're creative. They're, unambitious and unsuccessful in their careers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><u>Gamma</u></strong> are seen as restless, adventurous, and fun. They like to do their own thing and create their own rules without giving into peer pressure. Alphas may mature into gammas they say, and become more considerate.  Gammas are more social, socially conscious, and more diplomatic. For Alphas to become better human beings, they would turn into gammas.  Gammas generally appear to lack assertiveness. They freely express their emotions and they aren't very interested in status symbols or gaining popularity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><u>Sigma</u></strong> the definition is they’re sardonic, cynical, bitter scornful. (That's what Sardonic means. I had to look that up - a little side note; sardonic comes from the Greek adjective Sardonios, which actually describes a plant from a place called Sardinia that supposedly made your face contort into a horrible grin... right before you died from its poison. The Greeks used sardonic for laughter, but we only use it when someone's humor is also mocking or ironic.  There's a term called the sardonic grinAnd so it makes people look like they have a sinister smile, like...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[ Jennifer Lopez, (aka Jenny from the block, JLO) visits and shoots a movie in the neighborhood and comments about our little village by asking: “Does anyone work?” when filming the movie “Monster In-Law”. She was noticing our way of being in our community. The truth is we all worked but we didn’t all have traditional “9-5” jobs. We also knew how to luxuriate and enjoy every single day and to someone looking in from the outside, it appeared that we just hung and played all day.
The Pearl of wisdom is to enjoy your life for God's sake. Just enjoy. Notice the trifles. There is really no need to rush. Put on your roller blades, roller skates, flip-flops, sit, sit at a coffee shop holding on to a cup of your favorite coffee, play, eat, watch the light change, drink a great delicious drink, ride a bicycle, feel the sand between your toes, feel the sun on your body, take a stroll, do a little dance down the sidewalk…you get the idea, right?
 
The focus of this week’s podcast is on the alpha, beta, omega, gamma, sigma… definitions of personalities that seem so rigid and outdated according to Fawn and Matt, as they break down the meaning of each stereotype and discuss who and how people really are away from these limited beliefs that society tries to impose.
Fawn and Matt share their experiences.  Fawn shares her own limited beliefs about herself and how she realized that her friendship with one of her greatest friends got weird for her at one point, without her friend even realizing it, all because of her (Fawn’s) own insecurities about herself and her professional qualifications/identities where she felt “less than” or subordinate and not the alpha dog she perhaps wanted to be.
The DEFINITIONS: (We DISLIKE most of THESE DEFINITIONS! They are awful! One of the sources for these definitions came from themindsjournal.com
Alpha is generally considered the strongest of the group. They're very, very competitive. They're aggressive, very domineering. They're like the influencer. They're the ones that take charge. They're very bossy and often they're considered uncaring. They're just kind of like a bull. They just go and go for it. They take over.
Beta is the supportive person, who is sensitive, modest, easygoing, and reliable.  They're collaborative. They tend to be more reserved. They're more responsible and they're often seen as insecure.
Omega is the type of person that will be seen as neurotic, laid back, eccentric, and least likely to take initiative. They're considered, the lowest on the chain of command. They tend to have low self-esteem. They are seen as having dismal lives, and yet they're creative. They're, unambitious and unsuccessful in their careers.
 
Gamma are seen as restless, adventurous, and fun. They like to do their own thing and create their own rules without giving into peer pressure. Alphas may mature into gammas they say, and become more considerate.  Gammas are more social, socially conscious, and more diplomatic. For Alphas to become better human beings, they would turn into gammas.  Gammas generally appear to lack assertiveness. They freely express their emotions and they aren't very interested in status symbols or gaining popularity.
 
Sigma the definition is they’re sardonic, cynical, bitter scornful. (That's what Sardonic means. I had to look that up - a little side note; sardonic comes from the Greek adjective Sardonios, which actually describes a plant from a place called Sardinia that supposedly made your face contort into a horrible grin... right before you died from its poison. The Greeks used sardonic for laughter, but we only use it when someone's humor is also mocking or ironic.  There's a term called the sardonic grinAnd so it makes people look like they have a sinister smile, like...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Alpha Beta...]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>18</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p> Jennifer Lopez, (aka Jenny from the block, JLO) visits and shoots a movie in the neighborhood and comments about our little village by asking: “Does anyone work?” when filming the movie “Monster In-Law”. She was noticing our way of being in our community. The truth is we all worked but we didn’t all have traditional “9-5” jobs. We also knew how to luxuriate and enjoy every single day and to someone looking in from the outside, it appeared that we just hung and played all day.</p>
<p>The Pearl of wisdom is to enjoy your life for God's sake. Just enjoy. Notice the trifles. There is really no need to rush. Put on your roller blades, roller skates, flip-flops, sit, sit at a coffee shop holding on to a cup of your favorite coffee, play, eat, watch the light change, drink a great delicious drink, ride a bicycle, feel the sand between your toes, feel the sun on your body, take a stroll, do a little dance down the sidewalk…you get the idea, right?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The focus of this week’s podcast is on the alpha, beta, omega, gamma, sigma… definitions of personalities that seem so rigid and outdated according to Fawn and Matt, as they break down the meaning of each stereotype and discuss who and how people really are away from these limited beliefs that society tries to impose.</p>
<p>Fawn and Matt share their experiences.  Fawn shares her own limited beliefs about herself and how she realized that her friendship with one of her greatest friends got weird for her at one point, without her friend even realizing it, all because of her (Fawn’s) own insecurities about herself and her professional qualifications/identities where she felt “less than” or subordinate and not the alpha dog she perhaps wanted to be.</p>
<p><strong>The DEFINITIONS: (We DISLIKE most of THESE DEFINITIONS! They are awful! One of the sources for these definitions came from themindsjournal.com</strong></p>
<p><strong><u>Alpha</u></strong> is generally considered the strongest of the group. They're very, very competitive. They're aggressive, very domineering. They're like the influencer. They're the ones that take charge. They're very bossy and often they're considered uncaring. They're just kind of like a bull. They just go and go for it. They take over.</p>
<p><strong><u>Beta</u></strong> is the supportive person, who is sensitive, modest, easygoing, and reliable.  They're collaborative. They tend to be more reserved. They're more responsible and they're often seen as insecure.</p>
<p><strong><u>Omega</u></strong> is the type of person that will be seen as neurotic, laid back, eccentric, and least likely to take initiative. They're considered, the lowest on the chain of command. They tend to have low self-esteem. They are seen as having dismal lives, and yet they're creative. They're, unambitious and unsuccessful in their careers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><u>Gamma</u></strong> are seen as restless, adventurous, and fun. They like to do their own thing and create their own rules without giving into peer pressure. Alphas may mature into gammas they say, and become more considerate.  Gammas are more social, socially conscious, and more diplomatic. For Alphas to become better human beings, they would turn into gammas.  Gammas generally appear to lack assertiveness. They freely express their emotions and they aren't very interested in status symbols or gaining popularity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><u>Sigma</u></strong> the definition is they’re sardonic, cynical, bitter scornful. (That's what Sardonic means. I had to look that up - a little side note; sardonic comes from the Greek adjective Sardonios, which actually describes a plant from a place called Sardinia that supposedly made your face contort into a horrible grin... right before you died from its poison. The Greeks used sardonic for laughter, but we only use it when someone's humor is also mocking or ironic.  There's a term called the sardonic grinAnd so it makes people look like they have a sinister smile, like the joker and Batman).</p>
<p>Simgas are Cynical, bitter scornful and sardonic. They're definitely outsiders to the social game yet they manage to win and confuse everyone in the process. They are really good at challenging alphas and ridiculing them and making alphas really mad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Okay, so, wow. That's way too many. WE thought we were going to only focus on alphas and betas, but here's the point: this is exactly the kind of criticism; another form of judgment and short-sighted way of thinking about each other. That is so rigid and so outdated, and it has got to go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Matt: “…people start to assume that if you're terrible at any one thing, that defined you as a person for all things, you must be terrible because you do run into people who seem to be great at everything. The trick to that I think is that people who seem to be great at everything only show you the things that are great at.”</p>
<p>Matt recalls a time of competition with omelets in the neighborhood. “So it can be a bad thing to try and control, to boss, to use your power, to get your own way, because ultimately you may end up the King of an empty kingdom.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also takes us back to Aikido and the whole martial arts sense of things that if you are Oak; if you're rigid all the time in your beliefs and in your stance, you will break. If you bend with the wind like bamboo, if you're like water, you go with the flow, you are resilient and strong. Things will work out much like at the beginning, when we talk about taking things easy, enjoying your life, and going with the flow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To connect with Fawn and Matt, reach out at <a href="http://www.ourfriendlyworld.com">www.ourfriendlyworld.com</a> and send us an email.</p>
<p>Please leave us a review on iTunes!</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[ Jennifer Lopez, (aka Jenny from the block, JLO) visits and shoots a movie in the neighborhood and comments about our little village by asking: “Does anyone work?” when filming the movie “Monster In-Law”. She was noticing our way of being in our community. The truth is we all worked but we didn’t all have traditional “9-5” jobs. We also knew how to luxuriate and enjoy every single day and to someone looking in from the outside, it appeared that we just hung and played all day.
The Pearl of wisdom is to enjoy your life for God's sake. Just enjoy. Notice the trifles. There is really no need to rush. Put on your roller blades, roller skates, flip-flops, sit, sit at a coffee shop holding on to a cup of your favorite coffee, play, eat, watch the light change, drink a great delicious drink, ride a bicycle, feel the sand between your toes, feel the sun on your body, take a stroll, do a little dance down the sidewalk…you get the idea, right?
 
The focus of this week’s podcast is on the alpha, beta, omega, gamma, sigma… definitions of personalities that seem so rigid and outdated according to Fawn and Matt, as they break down the meaning of each stereotype and discuss who and how people really are away from these limited beliefs that society tries to impose.
Fawn and Matt share their experiences.  Fawn shares her own limited beliefs about herself and how she realized that her friendship with one of her greatest friends got weird for her at one point, without her friend even realizing it, all because of her (Fawn’s) own insecurities about herself and her professional qualifications/identities where she felt “less than” or subordinate and not the alpha dog she perhaps wanted to be.
The DEFINITIONS: (We DISLIKE most of THESE DEFINITIONS! They are awful! One of the sources for these definitions came from themindsjournal.com
Alpha is generally considered the strongest of the group. They're very, very competitive. They're aggressive, very domineering. They're like the influencer. They're the ones that take charge. They're very bossy and often they're considered uncaring. They're just kind of like a bull. They just go and go for it. They take over.
Beta is the supportive person, who is sensitive, modest, easygoing, and reliable.  They're collaborative. They tend to be more reserved. They're more responsible and they're often seen as insecure.
Omega is the type of person that will be seen as neurotic, laid back, eccentric, and least likely to take initiative. They're considered, the lowest on the chain of command. They tend to have low self-esteem. They are seen as having dismal lives, and yet they're creative. They're, unambitious and unsuccessful in their careers.
 
Gamma are seen as restless, adventurous, and fun. They like to do their own thing and create their own rules without giving into peer pressure. Alphas may mature into gammas they say, and become more considerate.  Gammas are more social, socially conscious, and more diplomatic. For Alphas to become better human beings, they would turn into gammas.  Gammas generally appear to lack assertiveness. They freely express their emotions and they aren't very interested in status symbols or gaining popularity.
 
Sigma the definition is they’re sardonic, cynical, bitter scornful. (That's what Sardonic means. I had to look that up - a little side note; sardonic comes from the Greek adjective Sardonios, which actually describes a plant from a place called Sardinia that supposedly made your face contort into a horrible grin... right before you died from its poison. The Greeks used sardonic for laughter, but we only use it when someone's humor is also mocking or ironic.  There's a term called the sardonic grinAnd so it makes people look like they have a sinister smile, like...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/Alpha-dog-in-the-crowd.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:45:47</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Alliance]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Nov 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-alliance</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-alliance</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Nugget and pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica Days: Iraq and Iran – the adventures of turtle/babysitting. Fawn’s Santa Monica friends (Anders and Liz), named their turtles Iran and Iraq to bring peace to the Middle East. The reasoning for the choice of their names was that every time they called their turtles lovingly by their names, they not only sent their turtles love but they held loving kindness for the Middle East at the same time. Words have power. Fawn and Matt begin relating words, numbers, zeros, ones and computer coding. Matt corrects Fawn and says as a programmer, he thinks “all things are code, code is not necessarily math. It’s Boolean logic and saying it’s a bunch of zeros and ones fails to convey the true majesty that is.”</p>
<p>This week’s topic is about the first time you felt the power of friendship and what it did for you and your life.</p>
<p>The alliance that we talk about this week is all about the sense that together, you’re able to do ANYTHING. You can overcome racial injustice, you can overcome economic injustice. You're able to overcome any obstacle or any hurt in front of you, TOGETHER.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is why we began this friendly movement, because we’ve found that our society has really deteriorated as far as people really being together in neighborhoods, offices and at home, and how in-person friendships, walking arm in arm is now rare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Friendship and the alliance that is created within that sanctuary are incredibly powerful and we wonder why it has disappeared and why we've become so disconnected. Together, we can create great beauty, peace and strength and have a kinder, healthier, richer, more compassionate world, and a stronger, more balanced society.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Do you have a first Alliance story? When was the first time that you felt the kind of friendship where you felt the power of a union, the power of a bond that made you feel invincible? What was it that drew you together? What was the common thread?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Feeling the great life pressures, not feeling supported and feeling upset and overwhelmed (and maybe not even realizing you have been feeling all of this), can wreak havoc on us, our lives, our health, and our relationships, and as a result, bad things can happen. When you’re in the thick of it, you don't understand that you're in pain because it feels normal until you get a break from it (if you get a break from it).  </p>
<p>So we need to support each other. People do communicate their deepest pains. It may be subtly. It may be slyly. And if you're paying attention, you can pick up on it and you can ask the questions.  A friendship is a cocoon where you can grow into what you're supposed to be, within a safe environment. You're protected within this friendship, within this circle.</p>
<p>We've all been disconnected. Come back and don't judge so much. Everybody's in pain. Don't judge it. Let's just be together and offer comfort. Let's provide a safe space for our friends to express the things they need to, and then in return, they will provide us a safe space so we can communicate the things we need to communicate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Many of us have been treated “less than”, felt generally alone and absolutely isolated. It is a horrible feeling. How can we be heard and also hear our fellow brothers and sisters? It's about trying to focus in on what we can do. And here's the issue: we don't have a society where friends are a thing, (like real, for real friends, not talking Facebook friends but someone who has your back and can offer a shoulder to lean on).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  When we don't have friendship, when we don’t have support, our capacity is limited, and we tend to lash out. This is why making sure that we develop bonds with one another is so important. It’s time to begin talking and paying attention to each other and finding common ground.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An alliance makes for a healthier, happier life. We all need a friend we can take a bre...</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Nugget and pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica Days: Iraq and Iran – the adventures of turtle/babysitting. Fawn’s Santa Monica friends (Anders and Liz), named their turtles Iran and Iraq to bring peace to the Middle East. The reasoning for the choice of their names was that every time they called their turtles lovingly by their names, they not only sent their turtles love but they held loving kindness for the Middle East at the same time. Words have power. Fawn and Matt begin relating words, numbers, zeros, ones and computer coding. Matt corrects Fawn and says as a programmer, he thinks “all things are code, code is not necessarily math. It’s Boolean logic and saying it’s a bunch of zeros and ones fails to convey the true majesty that is.”
This week’s topic is about the first time you felt the power of friendship and what it did for you and your life.
The alliance that we talk about this week is all about the sense that together, you’re able to do ANYTHING. You can overcome racial injustice, you can overcome economic injustice. You're able to overcome any obstacle or any hurt in front of you, TOGETHER.
 
This is why we began this friendly movement, because we’ve found that our society has really deteriorated as far as people really being together in neighborhoods, offices and at home, and how in-person friendships, walking arm in arm is now rare.
 
Friendship and the alliance that is created within that sanctuary are incredibly powerful and we wonder why it has disappeared and why we've become so disconnected. Together, we can create great beauty, peace and strength and have a kinder, healthier, richer, more compassionate world, and a stronger, more balanced society.
 
Do you have a first Alliance story? When was the first time that you felt the kind of friendship where you felt the power of a union, the power of a bond that made you feel invincible? What was it that drew you together? What was the common thread?
 
Feeling the great life pressures, not feeling supported and feeling upset and overwhelmed (and maybe not even realizing you have been feeling all of this), can wreak havoc on us, our lives, our health, and our relationships, and as a result, bad things can happen. When you’re in the thick of it, you don't understand that you're in pain because it feels normal until you get a break from it (if you get a break from it).  
So we need to support each other. People do communicate their deepest pains. It may be subtly. It may be slyly. And if you're paying attention, you can pick up on it and you can ask the questions.  A friendship is a cocoon where you can grow into what you're supposed to be, within a safe environment. You're protected within this friendship, within this circle.
We've all been disconnected. Come back and don't judge so much. Everybody's in pain. Don't judge it. Let's just be together and offer comfort. Let's provide a safe space for our friends to express the things they need to, and then in return, they will provide us a safe space so we can communicate the things we need to communicate.
 
Many of us have been treated “less than”, felt generally alone and absolutely isolated. It is a horrible feeling. How can we be heard and also hear our fellow brothers and sisters? It's about trying to focus in on what we can do. And here's the issue: we don't have a society where friends are a thing, (like real, for real friends, not talking Facebook friends but someone who has your back and can offer a shoulder to lean on).
 
  When we don't have friendship, when we don’t have support, our capacity is limited, and we tend to lash out. This is why making sure that we develop bonds with one another is so important. It’s time to begin talking and paying attention to each other and finding common ground.
 
An alliance makes for a healthier, happier life. We all need a friend we can take a bre...]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Alliance]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>17</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Nugget and pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica Days: Iraq and Iran – the adventures of turtle/babysitting. Fawn’s Santa Monica friends (Anders and Liz), named their turtles Iran and Iraq to bring peace to the Middle East. The reasoning for the choice of their names was that every time they called their turtles lovingly by their names, they not only sent their turtles love but they held loving kindness for the Middle East at the same time. Words have power. Fawn and Matt begin relating words, numbers, zeros, ones and computer coding. Matt corrects Fawn and says as a programmer, he thinks “all things are code, code is not necessarily math. It’s Boolean logic and saying it’s a bunch of zeros and ones fails to convey the true majesty that is.”</p>
<p>This week’s topic is about the first time you felt the power of friendship and what it did for you and your life.</p>
<p>The alliance that we talk about this week is all about the sense that together, you’re able to do ANYTHING. You can overcome racial injustice, you can overcome economic injustice. You're able to overcome any obstacle or any hurt in front of you, TOGETHER.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is why we began this friendly movement, because we’ve found that our society has really deteriorated as far as people really being together in neighborhoods, offices and at home, and how in-person friendships, walking arm in arm is now rare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Friendship and the alliance that is created within that sanctuary are incredibly powerful and we wonder why it has disappeared and why we've become so disconnected. Together, we can create great beauty, peace and strength and have a kinder, healthier, richer, more compassionate world, and a stronger, more balanced society.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Do you have a first Alliance story? When was the first time that you felt the kind of friendship where you felt the power of a union, the power of a bond that made you feel invincible? What was it that drew you together? What was the common thread?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Feeling the great life pressures, not feeling supported and feeling upset and overwhelmed (and maybe not even realizing you have been feeling all of this), can wreak havoc on us, our lives, our health, and our relationships, and as a result, bad things can happen. When you’re in the thick of it, you don't understand that you're in pain because it feels normal until you get a break from it (if you get a break from it).  </p>
<p>So we need to support each other. People do communicate their deepest pains. It may be subtly. It may be slyly. And if you're paying attention, you can pick up on it and you can ask the questions.  A friendship is a cocoon where you can grow into what you're supposed to be, within a safe environment. You're protected within this friendship, within this circle.</p>
<p>We've all been disconnected. Come back and don't judge so much. Everybody's in pain. Don't judge it. Let's just be together and offer comfort. Let's provide a safe space for our friends to express the things they need to, and then in return, they will provide us a safe space so we can communicate the things we need to communicate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Many of us have been treated “less than”, felt generally alone and absolutely isolated. It is a horrible feeling. How can we be heard and also hear our fellow brothers and sisters? It's about trying to focus in on what we can do. And here's the issue: we don't have a society where friends are a thing, (like real, for real friends, not talking Facebook friends but someone who has your back and can offer a shoulder to lean on).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  When we don't have friendship, when we don’t have support, our capacity is limited, and we tend to lash out. This is why making sure that we develop bonds with one another is so important. It’s time to begin talking and paying attention to each other and finding common ground.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An alliance makes for a healthier, happier life. We all need a friend we can take a break with, have some fun with, even if it's just a superficial friendship, one you're just having fun with. We always talk about the three categories of friendship from Aristotle’s Nicomachean ethics and how the true lasting friend is the one who loves you for you, but sometimes you just need that friend to have meaningless, stupid fun with. That can be enough to get you through.</p>
<p>We need human connection. We're social animals, people. We are animals. We are social animals. This is how we've survived for hundreds of thousands of years</p>
<p>The key about people and temper tantrums; when you see somebody lashing out, getting angry, getting frustrated, yelling, raising their voice, acting like a child, you have to see this person as a person and start to understand the why's of it. Why are they acting this way? What led them to this place? And you know, of course there are those times where that's not going to work, but in general, people have bad days and people have bad days for a number of reasons and you need to have more compassion for them.</p>
<p>Be a good host. Try. Try and listen. And if that doesn't work, walk away, but remember how you become friends in the first place. You meet by chance. You discuss something completely inane. And then you realize that there might be something deeper and you exchange information or you see them every day on the playground. And then you slowly but surely become friends because of shared interests and shared experiences. So work on being a good host for starters. A good host knows when to bounce people out the house, but a good host also knows how to make people who want to be there, feel welcomed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Please support us by leaving a review on itunes, subscribing to our podcast.</p>
<p>www.ourfriendlyworld.com</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Nugget and pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica Days: Iraq and Iran – the adventures of turtle/babysitting. Fawn’s Santa Monica friends (Anders and Liz), named their turtles Iran and Iraq to bring peace to the Middle East. The reasoning for the choice of their names was that every time they called their turtles lovingly by their names, they not only sent their turtles love but they held loving kindness for the Middle East at the same time. Words have power. Fawn and Matt begin relating words, numbers, zeros, ones and computer coding. Matt corrects Fawn and says as a programmer, he thinks “all things are code, code is not necessarily math. It’s Boolean logic and saying it’s a bunch of zeros and ones fails to convey the true majesty that is.”
This week’s topic is about the first time you felt the power of friendship and what it did for you and your life.
The alliance that we talk about this week is all about the sense that together, you’re able to do ANYTHING. You can overcome racial injustice, you can overcome economic injustice. You're able to overcome any obstacle or any hurt in front of you, TOGETHER.
 
This is why we began this friendly movement, because we’ve found that our society has really deteriorated as far as people really being together in neighborhoods, offices and at home, and how in-person friendships, walking arm in arm is now rare.
 
Friendship and the alliance that is created within that sanctuary are incredibly powerful and we wonder why it has disappeared and why we've become so disconnected. Together, we can create great beauty, peace and strength and have a kinder, healthier, richer, more compassionate world, and a stronger, more balanced society.
 
Do you have a first Alliance story? When was the first time that you felt the kind of friendship where you felt the power of a union, the power of a bond that made you feel invincible? What was it that drew you together? What was the common thread?
 
Feeling the great life pressures, not feeling supported and feeling upset and overwhelmed (and maybe not even realizing you have been feeling all of this), can wreak havoc on us, our lives, our health, and our relationships, and as a result, bad things can happen. When you’re in the thick of it, you don't understand that you're in pain because it feels normal until you get a break from it (if you get a break from it).  
So we need to support each other. People do communicate their deepest pains. It may be subtly. It may be slyly. And if you're paying attention, you can pick up on it and you can ask the questions.  A friendship is a cocoon where you can grow into what you're supposed to be, within a safe environment. You're protected within this friendship, within this circle.
We've all been disconnected. Come back and don't judge so much. Everybody's in pain. Don't judge it. Let's just be together and offer comfort. Let's provide a safe space for our friends to express the things they need to, and then in return, they will provide us a safe space so we can communicate the things we need to communicate.
 
Many of us have been treated “less than”, felt generally alone and absolutely isolated. It is a horrible feeling. How can we be heard and also hear our fellow brothers and sisters? It's about trying to focus in on what we can do. And here's the issue: we don't have a society where friends are a thing, (like real, for real friends, not talking Facebook friends but someone who has your back and can offer a shoulder to lean on).
 
  When we don't have friendship, when we don’t have support, our capacity is limited, and we tend to lash out. This is why making sure that we develop bonds with one another is so important. It’s time to begin talking and paying attention to each other and finding common ground.
 
An alliance makes for a healthier, happier life. We all need a friend we can take a bre...]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:55:34</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Agree to Disagree w/ Psychotherapist KJ Nasrul]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/agree-to-disagree-w-psychotherapist-kj-nasrul</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/agree-to-disagree-w-psychotherapist-kj-nasrul</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Our nugget  AKA pearls of wisdom for this episode involves Dr. Bradley Nelson, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden, the Heart Math Institute, Electromagnetic field, Heart math, heart brain, heart wall, intellectual humility, social intelligence, IQ, emotional intelligence, shared reality,</p>
<p>Magneto cardiogram and it measures the magnetic field of the heart. These machines record this field to be about 12 feet in diameter, but they're all saying that the machines are actually limited. That in fact they believe the, the field to be infinite, which makes sense.</p>
<p>How do we “Agree to Disagree”, especially now with so much charged emotion within our divided nation in the United States? How can we maneuver the misconstrued tones, the arguments that grow, the unexpressed resentments, the unheard voices, the differences of psyche, culture, sex, race, social/economic, generational points of view, the mess under the rug? How should we step away when both sides are deeply emotional? Can we find a shared reality? Do we have a shared reality? How can we acquire humility and be open to being wrong – can we commit of the possibility of being wrong?</p>
<p>The topic is super big, so big we are going to do many shows on this subject and we invite our special guest (our super-friend), Psychotherapist KJ Nasrul. We begin the conversation today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Our nugget  AKA pearls of wisdom for this episode involves Dr. Bradley Nelson, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden, the Heart Math Institute, Electromagnetic field, Heart math, heart brain, heart wall, intellectual humility, social intelligence, IQ, emotional intelligence, shared reality,
Magneto cardiogram and it measures the magnetic field of the heart. These machines record this field to be about 12 feet in diameter, but they're all saying that the machines are actually limited. That in fact they believe the, the field to be infinite, which makes sense.
How do we “Agree to Disagree”, especially now with so much charged emotion within our divided nation in the United States? How can we maneuver the misconstrued tones, the arguments that grow, the unexpressed resentments, the unheard voices, the differences of psyche, culture, sex, race, social/economic, generational points of view, the mess under the rug? How should we step away when both sides are deeply emotional? Can we find a shared reality? Do we have a shared reality? How can we acquire humility and be open to being wrong – can we commit of the possibility of being wrong?
The topic is super big, so big we are going to do many shows on this subject and we invite our special guest (our super-friend), Psychotherapist KJ Nasrul. We begin the conversation today.
 
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Agree to Disagree w/ Psychotherapist KJ Nasrul]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>16</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Our nugget  AKA pearls of wisdom for this episode involves Dr. Bradley Nelson, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden, the Heart Math Institute, Electromagnetic field, Heart math, heart brain, heart wall, intellectual humility, social intelligence, IQ, emotional intelligence, shared reality,</p>
<p>Magneto cardiogram and it measures the magnetic field of the heart. These machines record this field to be about 12 feet in diameter, but they're all saying that the machines are actually limited. That in fact they believe the, the field to be infinite, which makes sense.</p>
<p>How do we “Agree to Disagree”, especially now with so much charged emotion within our divided nation in the United States? How can we maneuver the misconstrued tones, the arguments that grow, the unexpressed resentments, the unheard voices, the differences of psyche, culture, sex, race, social/economic, generational points of view, the mess under the rug? How should we step away when both sides are deeply emotional? Can we find a shared reality? Do we have a shared reality? How can we acquire humility and be open to being wrong – can we commit of the possibility of being wrong?</p>
<p>The topic is super big, so big we are going to do many shows on this subject and we invite our special guest (our super-friend), Psychotherapist KJ Nasrul. We begin the conversation today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
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                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Our nugget  AKA pearls of wisdom for this episode involves Dr. Bradley Nelson, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden, the Heart Math Institute, Electromagnetic field, Heart math, heart brain, heart wall, intellectual humility, social intelligence, IQ, emotional intelligence, shared reality,
Magneto cardiogram and it measures the magnetic field of the heart. These machines record this field to be about 12 feet in diameter, but they're all saying that the machines are actually limited. That in fact they believe the, the field to be infinite, which makes sense.
How do we “Agree to Disagree”, especially now with so much charged emotion within our divided nation in the United States? How can we maneuver the misconstrued tones, the arguments that grow, the unexpressed resentments, the unheard voices, the differences of psyche, culture, sex, race, social/economic, generational points of view, the mess under the rug? How should we step away when both sides are deeply emotional? Can we find a shared reality? Do we have a shared reality? How can we acquire humility and be open to being wrong – can we commit of the possibility of being wrong?
The topic is super big, so big we are going to do many shows on this subject and we invite our special guest (our super-friend), Psychotherapist KJ Nasrul. We begin the conversation today.
 
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/KJ-Pencil-2.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:06:46</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Emotional Currency]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Nov 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/emotional-currency</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/emotional-currency</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>This week’s nugget is a 16th century Norwegian term, meaning to comfort or to console -  related to the English word “hug”.</p>
<p>You need HYGGE in your life, especially these days, guys, this is how we can feel better! Here are some words words associated with HYGGE – comfort, cozy, relaxation, indulgence, and gratitude. This is about taking pleasure in the presence of a gentle thing, soothing things like a freshly brewed cup of coffee, cozy socks, food, drink, pastries, whatever your favorite things are, you partake in them and have them all around you. There’s even a HYGGE manifesto containing 10 things that will get you to a HYGGE state! We share them with you!</p>
<p>There's a book that's called the book of” HYGGE  -  the Danish art of contentment, comfort and connection”. There's a quote from it:  “a practical way of creating sanctuary in the middle of a very real life and a cure for S a D” a cure for sad, which stands for seasonal affective disorder.</p>
<p>In this episode, we learn about the unfortunate engagement Fawn had long before she met Matt, her fiancé’s very racist mother and the ultimatum she was given before her departure of her photography project to Ethiopia, how she came to being in the same room as Caroline Myss, and learning first-hand the meaning and significance of EMOTIONAL CURRENCY. Then of course, Matt has his take on the subject and the hilarity ensues over who came up with the concept. They both agree however that this form of currency is a major factor to consider in any relationship and discuss how to develop a healthy account.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[This week’s nugget is a 16th century Norwegian term, meaning to comfort or to console -  related to the English word “hug”.
You need HYGGE in your life, especially these days, guys, this is how we can feel better! Here are some words words associated with HYGGE – comfort, cozy, relaxation, indulgence, and gratitude. This is about taking pleasure in the presence of a gentle thing, soothing things like a freshly brewed cup of coffee, cozy socks, food, drink, pastries, whatever your favorite things are, you partake in them and have them all around you. There’s even a HYGGE manifesto containing 10 things that will get you to a HYGGE state! We share them with you!
There's a book that's called the book of” HYGGE  -  the Danish art of contentment, comfort and connection”. There's a quote from it:  “a practical way of creating sanctuary in the middle of a very real life and a cure for S a D” a cure for sad, which stands for seasonal affective disorder.
In this episode, we learn about the unfortunate engagement Fawn had long before she met Matt, her fiancé’s very racist mother and the ultimatum she was given before her departure of her photography project to Ethiopia, how she came to being in the same room as Caroline Myss, and learning first-hand the meaning and significance of EMOTIONAL CURRENCY. Then of course, Matt has his take on the subject and the hilarity ensues over who came up with the concept. They both agree however that this form of currency is a major factor to consider in any relationship and discuss how to develop a healthy account.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Emotional Currency]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>15</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>This week’s nugget is a 16th century Norwegian term, meaning to comfort or to console -  related to the English word “hug”.</p>
<p>You need HYGGE in your life, especially these days, guys, this is how we can feel better! Here are some words words associated with HYGGE – comfort, cozy, relaxation, indulgence, and gratitude. This is about taking pleasure in the presence of a gentle thing, soothing things like a freshly brewed cup of coffee, cozy socks, food, drink, pastries, whatever your favorite things are, you partake in them and have them all around you. There’s even a HYGGE manifesto containing 10 things that will get you to a HYGGE state! We share them with you!</p>
<p>There's a book that's called the book of” HYGGE  -  the Danish art of contentment, comfort and connection”. There's a quote from it:  “a practical way of creating sanctuary in the middle of a very real life and a cure for S a D” a cure for sad, which stands for seasonal affective disorder.</p>
<p>In this episode, we learn about the unfortunate engagement Fawn had long before she met Matt, her fiancé’s very racist mother and the ultimatum she was given before her departure of her photography project to Ethiopia, how she came to being in the same room as Caroline Myss, and learning first-hand the meaning and significance of EMOTIONAL CURRENCY. Then of course, Matt has his take on the subject and the hilarity ensues over who came up with the concept. They both agree however that this form of currency is a major factor to consider in any relationship and discuss how to develop a healthy account.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-15-HYGGE.wav" length="222899012"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[This week’s nugget is a 16th century Norwegian term, meaning to comfort or to console -  related to the English word “hug”.
You need HYGGE in your life, especially these days, guys, this is how we can feel better! Here are some words words associated with HYGGE – comfort, cozy, relaxation, indulgence, and gratitude. This is about taking pleasure in the presence of a gentle thing, soothing things like a freshly brewed cup of coffee, cozy socks, food, drink, pastries, whatever your favorite things are, you partake in them and have them all around you. There’s even a HYGGE manifesto containing 10 things that will get you to a HYGGE state! We share them with you!
There's a book that's called the book of” HYGGE  -  the Danish art of contentment, comfort and connection”. There's a quote from it:  “a practical way of creating sanctuary in the middle of a very real life and a cure for S a D” a cure for sad, which stands for seasonal affective disorder.
In this episode, we learn about the unfortunate engagement Fawn had long before she met Matt, her fiancé’s very racist mother and the ultimatum she was given before her departure of her photography project to Ethiopia, how she came to being in the same room as Caroline Myss, and learning first-hand the meaning and significance of EMOTIONAL CURRENCY. Then of course, Matt has his take on the subject and the hilarity ensues over who came up with the concept. They both agree however that this form of currency is a major factor to consider in any relationship and discuss how to develop a healthy account.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/IMG-0814.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:42:07</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[BUSY!]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Nov 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/busy-1</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/busy-1</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>First, Santa Monica’s pearl of wisdom:</p>
<p>This week’s pearl of Wisdom from Santa Monica comes via Fawn’s Santa Monica Bathroom conversation delivery and what was shared with her that was a game changer. There are three words that have to this day been chanted by Fawn and those close to her. We talk about a couple of things here regarding the pearl of wisdom. Number one is what you focus on grows. So focusing on money coming, it's going to make that grow and happen. When Fawn was first learning to drive, her point of focus would have her not able to drive straight because she focused on a short, short distance (because she was fixated on the hood of the car) instead on the road ahead. You need to look way down the road where you want to go. Don't focus on that spot so close to you. Look to where you want to go. Look really far out, look way ahead of you. Your vision always has to be shifting. It’s about knowing what the next step is, and knowing where you’re going. If I have both of those things, things will feel pretty darn good on any particular aspect of your life. Look to where you want to go. Look really far out.</p>
<p>When you're riding a mountain bike down a trail, if you focus on the pothole in the middle of the trail, you're going to hit it. If you focus on the clean line around it, you're going to do that.</p>
<p>So it's all about where you draw your attention. If you keep your attention focused on the negative, well then guess what the negative is more, more likely to happen. And if you focus on the positive, it's the positive.</p>
<p>Show topic: “Busy” Have we become shackled by an invisible force? Fawn argues YES! Matt has his take on the subject that is more optimistic than Fawn’s. Fawn believes this is the four letter word that has contributed to the loneliness epidemic. From business, the corporate world, to standing in your kitchen, feeling overwhelmed, to feeling if you're not busy you’re are missing something, that you’re not doing enough,  to the feeling of guilt that is all over everything, we discuss what it all means and go with Matt’s sage advice: “on a day to day, focusing at least for a minute, a while, on the things that are truly important and realizing what those things are that you need to completely break yourself away from wherever you are. That's key.” Bottom line- everyone is operating at their highest capacity and we need to relax and appreciate each other.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[First, Santa Monica’s pearl of wisdom:
This week’s pearl of Wisdom from Santa Monica comes via Fawn’s Santa Monica Bathroom conversation delivery and what was shared with her that was a game changer. There are three words that have to this day been chanted by Fawn and those close to her. We talk about a couple of things here regarding the pearl of wisdom. Number one is what you focus on grows. So focusing on money coming, it's going to make that grow and happen. When Fawn was first learning to drive, her point of focus would have her not able to drive straight because she focused on a short, short distance (because she was fixated on the hood of the car) instead on the road ahead. You need to look way down the road where you want to go. Don't focus on that spot so close to you. Look to where you want to go. Look really far out, look way ahead of you. Your vision always has to be shifting. It’s about knowing what the next step is, and knowing where you’re going. If I have both of those things, things will feel pretty darn good on any particular aspect of your life. Look to where you want to go. Look really far out.
When you're riding a mountain bike down a trail, if you focus on the pothole in the middle of the trail, you're going to hit it. If you focus on the clean line around it, you're going to do that.
So it's all about where you draw your attention. If you keep your attention focused on the negative, well then guess what the negative is more, more likely to happen. And if you focus on the positive, it's the positive.
Show topic: “Busy” Have we become shackled by an invisible force? Fawn argues YES! Matt has his take on the subject that is more optimistic than Fawn’s. Fawn believes this is the four letter word that has contributed to the loneliness epidemic. From business, the corporate world, to standing in your kitchen, feeling overwhelmed, to feeling if you're not busy you’re are missing something, that you’re not doing enough,  to the feeling of guilt that is all over everything, we discuss what it all means and go with Matt’s sage advice: “on a day to day, focusing at least for a minute, a while, on the things that are truly important and realizing what those things are that you need to completely break yourself away from wherever you are. That's key.” Bottom line- everyone is operating at their highest capacity and we need to relax and appreciate each other.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[BUSY!]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>14</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>First, Santa Monica’s pearl of wisdom:</p>
<p>This week’s pearl of Wisdom from Santa Monica comes via Fawn’s Santa Monica Bathroom conversation delivery and what was shared with her that was a game changer. There are three words that have to this day been chanted by Fawn and those close to her. We talk about a couple of things here regarding the pearl of wisdom. Number one is what you focus on grows. So focusing on money coming, it's going to make that grow and happen. When Fawn was first learning to drive, her point of focus would have her not able to drive straight because she focused on a short, short distance (because she was fixated on the hood of the car) instead on the road ahead. You need to look way down the road where you want to go. Don't focus on that spot so close to you. Look to where you want to go. Look really far out, look way ahead of you. Your vision always has to be shifting. It’s about knowing what the next step is, and knowing where you’re going. If I have both of those things, things will feel pretty darn good on any particular aspect of your life. Look to where you want to go. Look really far out.</p>
<p>When you're riding a mountain bike down a trail, if you focus on the pothole in the middle of the trail, you're going to hit it. If you focus on the clean line around it, you're going to do that.</p>
<p>So it's all about where you draw your attention. If you keep your attention focused on the negative, well then guess what the negative is more, more likely to happen. And if you focus on the positive, it's the positive.</p>
<p>Show topic: “Busy” Have we become shackled by an invisible force? Fawn argues YES! Matt has his take on the subject that is more optimistic than Fawn’s. Fawn believes this is the four letter word that has contributed to the loneliness epidemic. From business, the corporate world, to standing in your kitchen, feeling overwhelmed, to feeling if you're not busy you’re are missing something, that you’re not doing enough,  to the feeling of guilt that is all over everything, we discuss what it all means and go with Matt’s sage advice: “on a day to day, focusing at least for a minute, a while, on the things that are truly important and realizing what those things are that you need to completely break yourself away from wherever you are. That's key.” Bottom line- everyone is operating at their highest capacity and we need to relax and appreciate each other.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-14-BUSY-Final-edit.wav" length="298298158"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[First, Santa Monica’s pearl of wisdom:
This week’s pearl of Wisdom from Santa Monica comes via Fawn’s Santa Monica Bathroom conversation delivery and what was shared with her that was a game changer. There are three words that have to this day been chanted by Fawn and those close to her. We talk about a couple of things here regarding the pearl of wisdom. Number one is what you focus on grows. So focusing on money coming, it's going to make that grow and happen. When Fawn was first learning to drive, her point of focus would have her not able to drive straight because she focused on a short, short distance (because she was fixated on the hood of the car) instead on the road ahead. You need to look way down the road where you want to go. Don't focus on that spot so close to you. Look to where you want to go. Look really far out, look way ahead of you. Your vision always has to be shifting. It’s about knowing what the next step is, and knowing where you’re going. If I have both of those things, things will feel pretty darn good on any particular aspect of your life. Look to where you want to go. Look really far out.
When you're riding a mountain bike down a trail, if you focus on the pothole in the middle of the trail, you're going to hit it. If you focus on the clean line around it, you're going to do that.
So it's all about where you draw your attention. If you keep your attention focused on the negative, well then guess what the negative is more, more likely to happen. And if you focus on the positive, it's the positive.
Show topic: “Busy” Have we become shackled by an invisible force? Fawn argues YES! Matt has his take on the subject that is more optimistic than Fawn’s. Fawn believes this is the four letter word that has contributed to the loneliness epidemic. From business, the corporate world, to standing in your kitchen, feeling overwhelmed, to feeling if you're not busy you’re are missing something, that you’re not doing enough,  to the feeling of guilt that is all over everything, we discuss what it all means and go with Matt’s sage advice: “on a day to day, focusing at least for a minute, a while, on the things that are truly important and realizing what those things are that you need to completely break yourself away from wherever you are. That's key.” Bottom line- everyone is operating at their highest capacity and we need to relax and appreciate each other.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:56:22</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Critic - Who's to Judge?]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Nov 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-critic-who39s-to-judge</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-critic-who39s-to-judge</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Critic: A person who expresses and unfavorable opinion of something a person who judges the merits of literary artistic or musical works, especially one who does so professionally</p>
<p>Criticism:  The practice of judging the merits and faults of something.</p>
<p>Fawn thinks they're the downfall of our culture, of our society. She can't stand them. ARE THEY VITAL TO OUR SOCIETY????What kind of critics are there? Art, business, coding, neighborhood people, friends, family, randoms, yoga women…Is there a semblance of a constructive opinion, constructive criticism?????</p>
<p>We talk about the HATERS (thank you Katt Williams and Busy Philipps).Then there is the silent critic: complicitness</p>
<p>This episode almost didn't get aired. Fawn ended up in tears towards the end and Matt stepped away from the mic. The issue was resolved. If only we could have more conversations like this one (that got uncomfortable for a minute), we would all end up feeling good.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Critic: A person who expresses and unfavorable opinion of something a person who judges the merits of literary artistic or musical works, especially one who does so professionally
Criticism:  The practice of judging the merits and faults of something.
Fawn thinks they're the downfall of our culture, of our society. She can't stand them. ARE THEY VITAL TO OUR SOCIETY????What kind of critics are there? Art, business, coding, neighborhood people, friends, family, randoms, yoga women…Is there a semblance of a constructive opinion, constructive criticism?????
We talk about the HATERS (thank you Katt Williams and Busy Philipps).Then there is the silent critic: complicitness
This episode almost didn't get aired. Fawn ended up in tears towards the end and Matt stepped away from the mic. The issue was resolved. If only we could have more conversations like this one (that got uncomfortable for a minute), we would all end up feeling good.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Critic - Who's to Judge?]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>13</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Critic: A person who expresses and unfavorable opinion of something a person who judges the merits of literary artistic or musical works, especially one who does so professionally</p>
<p>Criticism:  The practice of judging the merits and faults of something.</p>
<p>Fawn thinks they're the downfall of our culture, of our society. She can't stand them. ARE THEY VITAL TO OUR SOCIETY????What kind of critics are there? Art, business, coding, neighborhood people, friends, family, randoms, yoga women…Is there a semblance of a constructive opinion, constructive criticism?????</p>
<p>We talk about the HATERS (thank you Katt Williams and Busy Philipps).Then there is the silent critic: complicitness</p>
<p>This episode almost didn't get aired. Fawn ended up in tears towards the end and Matt stepped away from the mic. The issue was resolved. If only we could have more conversations like this one (that got uncomfortable for a minute), we would all end up feeling good.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-13-The-Critic-final-edit.wav" length="312719272"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Critic: A person who expresses and unfavorable opinion of something a person who judges the merits of literary artistic or musical works, especially one who does so professionally
Criticism:  The practice of judging the merits and faults of something.
Fawn thinks they're the downfall of our culture, of our society. She can't stand them. ARE THEY VITAL TO OUR SOCIETY????What kind of critics are there? Art, business, coding, neighborhood people, friends, family, randoms, yoga women…Is there a semblance of a constructive opinion, constructive criticism?????
We talk about the HATERS (thank you Katt Williams and Busy Philipps).Then there is the silent critic: complicitness
This episode almost didn't get aired. Fawn ended up in tears towards the end and Matt stepped away from the mic. The issue was resolved. If only we could have more conversations like this one (that got uncomfortable for a minute), we would all end up feeling good.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/D43W1025-RT8.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:59:05</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[New World Mentor]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Oct 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/new-world-mentor</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/new-world-mentor</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>What happened to the village? We always heard that “it takes a village”, but Fawn points out that most of the time; we’re left on our own. This leads us to mentors. Where are the mentors? Does anyone truly have the knowledge to guide us? From Fawn’s point of view, the world is changing so rapidly and radically that we’re all trying to figure things out and the role of the mentor, apprentice, journeyman...etc, is no longer really there…EXCEPT, Fawn believes that friendships, the friend, babies, and THE COW (tune in to hear Fawn’s story and inspiration from the cows in New Delhi, India) are the new mentors as we guide each other through life. Matt has a totally different take on things (of course).</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[What happened to the village? We always heard that “it takes a village”, but Fawn points out that most of the time; we’re left on our own. This leads us to mentors. Where are the mentors? Does anyone truly have the knowledge to guide us? From Fawn’s point of view, the world is changing so rapidly and radically that we’re all trying to figure things out and the role of the mentor, apprentice, journeyman...etc, is no longer really there…EXCEPT, Fawn believes that friendships, the friend, babies, and THE COW (tune in to hear Fawn’s story and inspiration from the cows in New Delhi, India) are the new mentors as we guide each other through life. Matt has a totally different take on things (of course).]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[New World Mentor]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>12</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>What happened to the village? We always heard that “it takes a village”, but Fawn points out that most of the time; we’re left on our own. This leads us to mentors. Where are the mentors? Does anyone truly have the knowledge to guide us? From Fawn’s point of view, the world is changing so rapidly and radically that we’re all trying to figure things out and the role of the mentor, apprentice, journeyman...etc, is no longer really there…EXCEPT, Fawn believes that friendships, the friend, babies, and THE COW (tune in to hear Fawn’s story and inspiration from the cows in New Delhi, India) are the new mentors as we guide each other through life. Matt has a totally different take on things (of course).</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-12-New-World-Mentor-final-edit.wav" length="276389728"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[What happened to the village? We always heard that “it takes a village”, but Fawn points out that most of the time; we’re left on our own. This leads us to mentors. Where are the mentors? Does anyone truly have the knowledge to guide us? From Fawn’s point of view, the world is changing so rapidly and radically that we’re all trying to figure things out and the role of the mentor, apprentice, journeyman...etc, is no longer really there…EXCEPT, Fawn believes that friendships, the friend, babies, and THE COW (tune in to hear Fawn’s story and inspiration from the cows in New Delhi, India) are the new mentors as we guide each other through life. Matt has a totally different take on things (of course).]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:52:13</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[When People Are Against You]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Oct 2020 00:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/when-people-are-against-you</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/when-people-are-against-you</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>How do you handle criticism when it is beyond the simple critique? How to hear the good voices telling you, that you’re great, and why do we get stuck on the attacks and become unable to hear the good? Fawn shares her personal experience with her career, being a woman of color in an unkind, white dominated art world, how she was treated, resulting in her fighting back and making a radicle turn in her work , how she does business, as well as how she relates to people. Listen to the funny and revealing stories of the art photography world and her experience out in the bush on the border of Kenya and Ethiopia, how Matt’s code blends in to this issue and how to move forward while staying true to yourself.</p>
<p>“Emotion builds Taj Mahals. Logic says F you and walks away. There is a certain element of compartmentalization. There's a certain element of looking holistically at your life and saying, does my life suck or does my life rule? If your life in general rules, one tiny little piece of one tiny little piece of gray sky, isn't going to affect it.”</p>
<p>Everybody has moments that they suck, and everybody has moments that they rule. It's a question of what you focus on grows; where you want to spend your emotional currency.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[How do you handle criticism when it is beyond the simple critique? How to hear the good voices telling you, that you’re great, and why do we get stuck on the attacks and become unable to hear the good? Fawn shares her personal experience with her career, being a woman of color in an unkind, white dominated art world, how she was treated, resulting in her fighting back and making a radicle turn in her work , how she does business, as well as how she relates to people. Listen to the funny and revealing stories of the art photography world and her experience out in the bush on the border of Kenya and Ethiopia, how Matt’s code blends in to this issue and how to move forward while staying true to yourself.
“Emotion builds Taj Mahals. Logic says F you and walks away. There is a certain element of compartmentalization. There's a certain element of looking holistically at your life and saying, does my life suck or does my life rule? If your life in general rules, one tiny little piece of one tiny little piece of gray sky, isn't going to affect it.”
Everybody has moments that they suck, and everybody has moments that they rule. It's a question of what you focus on grows; where you want to spend your emotional currency.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[When People Are Against You]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>11</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>How do you handle criticism when it is beyond the simple critique? How to hear the good voices telling you, that you’re great, and why do we get stuck on the attacks and become unable to hear the good? Fawn shares her personal experience with her career, being a woman of color in an unkind, white dominated art world, how she was treated, resulting in her fighting back and making a radicle turn in her work , how she does business, as well as how she relates to people. Listen to the funny and revealing stories of the art photography world and her experience out in the bush on the border of Kenya and Ethiopia, how Matt’s code blends in to this issue and how to move forward while staying true to yourself.</p>
<p>“Emotion builds Taj Mahals. Logic says F you and walks away. There is a certain element of compartmentalization. There's a certain element of looking holistically at your life and saying, does my life suck or does my life rule? If your life in general rules, one tiny little piece of one tiny little piece of gray sky, isn't going to affect it.”</p>
<p>Everybody has moments that they suck, and everybody has moments that they rule. It's a question of what you focus on grows; where you want to spend your emotional currency.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-11-When-People-Are-Against-You-final-cut.m4a" length="80072437"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[How do you handle criticism when it is beyond the simple critique? How to hear the good voices telling you, that you’re great, and why do we get stuck on the attacks and become unable to hear the good? Fawn shares her personal experience with her career, being a woman of color in an unkind, white dominated art world, how she was treated, resulting in her fighting back and making a radicle turn in her work , how she does business, as well as how she relates to people. Listen to the funny and revealing stories of the art photography world and her experience out in the bush on the border of Kenya and Ethiopia, how Matt’s code blends in to this issue and how to move forward while staying true to yourself.
“Emotion builds Taj Mahals. Logic says F you and walks away. There is a certain element of compartmentalization. There's a certain element of looking holistically at your life and saying, does my life suck or does my life rule? If your life in general rules, one tiny little piece of one tiny little piece of gray sky, isn't going to affect it.”
Everybody has moments that they suck, and everybody has moments that they rule. It's a question of what you focus on grows; where you want to spend your emotional currency.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:05:56</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Play]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Oct 2020 15:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/play</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/play</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p><strong>PLAY –</strong> We begin to find out why Fawn’s nick name is “The Wookie” and why she struggles with playing all the great games: Pictionary, Scrabble, cards, music… We know all the great things friendship does for us spiritually, physically, emotionally, and the same, same is true about play.  Play is a source of relaxation. It feels our imagination, our creativity, helps with problem solving skills, and helps our emotional wellbeing. It takes our mind off of stuff. It helps with brain function, changes our perspective and even helps generate optimism.  And most importantly, it builds relationships and connections. Play is a basic need.</p>
<p>In this episode Fawn and Matt talk about the science and emotional component to this very important and basic need and relate it to our lives, friendships as well as the power plays in corporations.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[PLAY – We begin to find out why Fawn’s nick name is “The Wookie” and why she struggles with playing all the great games: Pictionary, Scrabble, cards, music… We know all the great things friendship does for us spiritually, physically, emotionally, and the same, same is true about play.  Play is a source of relaxation. It feels our imagination, our creativity, helps with problem solving skills, and helps our emotional wellbeing. It takes our mind off of stuff. It helps with brain function, changes our perspective and even helps generate optimism.  And most importantly, it builds relationships and connections. Play is a basic need.
In this episode Fawn and Matt talk about the science and emotional component to this very important and basic need and relate it to our lives, friendships as well as the power plays in corporations.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Play]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>10</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p><strong>PLAY –</strong> We begin to find out why Fawn’s nick name is “The Wookie” and why she struggles with playing all the great games: Pictionary, Scrabble, cards, music… We know all the great things friendship does for us spiritually, physically, emotionally, and the same, same is true about play.  Play is a source of relaxation. It feels our imagination, our creativity, helps with problem solving skills, and helps our emotional wellbeing. It takes our mind off of stuff. It helps with brain function, changes our perspective and even helps generate optimism.  And most importantly, it builds relationships and connections. Play is a basic need.</p>
<p>In this episode Fawn and Matt talk about the science and emotional component to this very important and basic need and relate it to our lives, friendships as well as the power plays in corporations.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-10-Play-Episode-10-Final-edit.wav" length="329727036"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[PLAY – We begin to find out why Fawn’s nick name is “The Wookie” and why she struggles with playing all the great games: Pictionary, Scrabble, cards, music… We know all the great things friendship does for us spiritually, physically, emotionally, and the same, same is true about play.  Play is a source of relaxation. It feels our imagination, our creativity, helps with problem solving skills, and helps our emotional wellbeing. It takes our mind off of stuff. It helps with brain function, changes our perspective and even helps generate optimism.  And most importantly, it builds relationships and connections. Play is a basic need.
In this episode Fawn and Matt talk about the science and emotional component to this very important and basic need and relate it to our lives, friendships as well as the power plays in corporations.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/IMG-3745.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:02:18</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Survival of the Fittest and the Unlikely Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Oct 2020 15:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/survival-of-the-fittest-and-the-unlikely-friendship</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/survival-of-the-fittest-and-the-unlikely-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We begin with Rumi as food for thought and get right into it. Fawn challenges Darwin’s theory and uses the unlikely friendships as an example of how wrong Darwin’s theory is. Nature relies on cooperation and mutual aid, not competition. It's not about competing for survival. We're here to help each other.</p>
<p>As the conversation gets even deeper, we talk about how compassion has a life force, that it's the glue and the foundation for love. Love doesn't last without compassion, which leads us to explore the role our jobs have in shaping our lives and how we can turn that around.</p>
<p>We also have the 90 second rule to allow your to fully experience and feel, after which brings you freedom from negative emotions.</p>
<p>Stay tuned for the last half of the episode as Matt really goes for it and lays down some fabulous wisdom.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We begin with Rumi as food for thought and get right into it. Fawn challenges Darwin’s theory and uses the unlikely friendships as an example of how wrong Darwin’s theory is. Nature relies on cooperation and mutual aid, not competition. It's not about competing for survival. We're here to help each other.
As the conversation gets even deeper, we talk about how compassion has a life force, that it's the glue and the foundation for love. Love doesn't last without compassion, which leads us to explore the role our jobs have in shaping our lives and how we can turn that around.
We also have the 90 second rule to allow your to fully experience and feel, after which brings you freedom from negative emotions.
Stay tuned for the last half of the episode as Matt really goes for it and lays down some fabulous wisdom.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Survival of the Fittest and the Unlikely Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>9</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We begin with Rumi as food for thought and get right into it. Fawn challenges Darwin’s theory and uses the unlikely friendships as an example of how wrong Darwin’s theory is. Nature relies on cooperation and mutual aid, not competition. It's not about competing for survival. We're here to help each other.</p>
<p>As the conversation gets even deeper, we talk about how compassion has a life force, that it's the glue and the foundation for love. Love doesn't last without compassion, which leads us to explore the role our jobs have in shaping our lives and how we can turn that around.</p>
<p>We also have the 90 second rule to allow your to fully experience and feel, after which brings you freedom from negative emotions.</p>
<p>Stay tuned for the last half of the episode as Matt really goes for it and lays down some fabulous wisdom.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-9-Survival-of-the-Fittest-aka-The-Unlikely-Friendship.m4a" length="64650724"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We begin with Rumi as food for thought and get right into it. Fawn challenges Darwin’s theory and uses the unlikely friendships as an example of how wrong Darwin’s theory is. Nature relies on cooperation and mutual aid, not competition. It's not about competing for survival. We're here to help each other.
As the conversation gets even deeper, we talk about how compassion has a life force, that it's the glue and the foundation for love. Love doesn't last without compassion, which leads us to explore the role our jobs have in shaping our lives and how we can turn that around.
We also have the 90 second rule to allow your to fully experience and feel, after which brings you freedom from negative emotions.
Stay tuned for the last half of the episode as Matt really goes for it and lays down some fabulous wisdom.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/IMG-0492.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:53:14</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[The Unresolved Emotion]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2020 15:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-unresolved-emotion</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-unresolved-emotion</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>We begin this week with 3 nuggets of gold information and carry on to the unresolved emotion that is at the root of it all. We talk about the Heart Math Institute research, Gregg Braden, the brilliant work of neuroscientist, Dr. Candace Pert, “Molecules of Emotion”, Mr. José Mujica, the former president of Uruguay, the 90 second feeling, the question of why we  have a 40 plus hour work week and how that runs our lives and friendships. Pay close attention to the end of the show to hear how it all ties together.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[We begin this week with 3 nuggets of gold information and carry on to the unresolved emotion that is at the root of it all. We talk about the Heart Math Institute research, Gregg Braden, the brilliant work of neuroscientist, Dr. Candace Pert, “Molecules of Emotion”, Mr. José Mujica, the former president of Uruguay, the 90 second feeling, the question of why we  have a 40 plus hour work week and how that runs our lives and friendships. Pay close attention to the end of the show to hear how it all ties together.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[The Unresolved Emotion]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>8</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>We begin this week with 3 nuggets of gold information and carry on to the unresolved emotion that is at the root of it all. We talk about the Heart Math Institute research, Gregg Braden, the brilliant work of neuroscientist, Dr. Candace Pert, “Molecules of Emotion”, Mr. José Mujica, the former president of Uruguay, the 90 second feeling, the question of why we  have a 40 plus hour work week and how that runs our lives and friendships. Pay close attention to the end of the show to hear how it all ties together.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-8-Unresolved-Emotion-FINAL.m4a" length="60938193"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[We begin this week with 3 nuggets of gold information and carry on to the unresolved emotion that is at the root of it all. We talk about the Heart Math Institute research, Gregg Braden, the brilliant work of neuroscientist, Dr. Candace Pert, “Molecules of Emotion”, Mr. José Mujica, the former president of Uruguay, the 90 second feeling, the question of why we  have a 40 plus hour work week and how that runs our lives and friendships. Pay close attention to the end of the show to hear how it all ties together.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/IMG-6718.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:50:10</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Logic vs Emotion]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 21 Sep 2020 01:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/logic-vs-emotion</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/logic-vs-emotion</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Logic can’t get you out of something that emotion has gotten you into.  Fawn and Matt discuss the difference between logic and emotion, the importance of speaking, being heard, the state of the world, how to hear what is really going on and how respect plays the role in all of it. From mixed martial arts to Aikido to Nascar, to Nicomachean Ethics, Matt’s  super-secret  formula for pick’em survivor league (NFL),  to becoming like bamboo, the art of friendship  is further unpacked and  by the end of the episode things really go deep with one of the big reasons for how our society has become touched by the loneliness epidemic. Make sure you lean in towards the end of the episode for the revelations of imposter syndrome.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Logic can’t get you out of something that emotion has gotten you into.  Fawn and Matt discuss the difference between logic and emotion, the importance of speaking, being heard, the state of the world, how to hear what is really going on and how respect plays the role in all of it. From mixed martial arts to Aikido to Nascar, to Nicomachean Ethics, Matt’s  super-secret  formula for pick’em survivor league (NFL),  to becoming like bamboo, the art of friendship  is further unpacked and  by the end of the episode things really go deep with one of the big reasons for how our society has become touched by the loneliness epidemic. Make sure you lean in towards the end of the episode for the revelations of imposter syndrome.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Logic vs Emotion]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>7</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Logic can’t get you out of something that emotion has gotten you into.  Fawn and Matt discuss the difference between logic and emotion, the importance of speaking, being heard, the state of the world, how to hear what is really going on and how respect plays the role in all of it. From mixed martial arts to Aikido to Nascar, to Nicomachean Ethics, Matt’s  super-secret  formula for pick’em survivor league (NFL),  to becoming like bamboo, the art of friendship  is further unpacked and  by the end of the episode things really go deep with one of the big reasons for how our society has become touched by the loneliness epidemic. Make sure you lean in towards the end of the episode for the revelations of imposter syndrome.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/media-original-4507375682fa44508699a63295058dbb.m4a" length="74823734"
                        type="audio/x-m4a">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Logic can’t get you out of something that emotion has gotten you into.  Fawn and Matt discuss the difference between logic and emotion, the importance of speaking, being heard, the state of the world, how to hear what is really going on and how respect plays the role in all of it. From mixed martial arts to Aikido to Nascar, to Nicomachean Ethics, Matt’s  super-secret  formula for pick’em survivor league (NFL),  to becoming like bamboo, the art of friendship  is further unpacked and  by the end of the episode things really go deep with one of the big reasons for how our society has become touched by the loneliness epidemic. Make sure you lean in towards the end of the episode for the revelations of imposter syndrome.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/3.gif"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>01:01:37</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Effort]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2020 19:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/effort</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/effort</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Why don't we follow through (regarding friendship, our dreams in life, our goals, our health, all the things that need some action, some movement)? What is the thing that stops us from doing and creating? This week's episode, Fawn and Matt bring up Sumo Wrestling, Herman Hesse, Dr. Mario Martinez, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Carolyn Myss, Aikido, dinner parties, being honest, misunderstandings, and how effort is involved and the one key to make it all effortless.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Why don't we follow through (regarding friendship, our dreams in life, our goals, our health, all the things that need some action, some movement)? What is the thing that stops us from doing and creating? This week's episode, Fawn and Matt bring up Sumo Wrestling, Herman Hesse, Dr. Mario Martinez, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Carolyn Myss, Aikido, dinner parties, being honest, misunderstandings, and how effort is involved and the one key to make it all effortless.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Effort]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>6</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Why don't we follow through (regarding friendship, our dreams in life, our goals, our health, all the things that need some action, some movement)? What is the thing that stops us from doing and creating? This week's episode, Fawn and Matt bring up Sumo Wrestling, Herman Hesse, Dr. Mario Martinez, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Carolyn Myss, Aikido, dinner parties, being honest, misunderstandings, and how effort is involved and the one key to make it all effortless.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-5-Effort.wav" length="265403758"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Why don't we follow through (regarding friendship, our dreams in life, our goals, our health, all the things that need some action, some movement)? What is the thing that stops us from doing and creating? This week's episode, Fawn and Matt bring up Sumo Wrestling, Herman Hesse, Dr. Mario Martinez, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Carolyn Myss, Aikido, dinner parties, being honest, misunderstandings, and how effort is involved and the one key to make it all effortless.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/P1020089.jpg"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:50:09</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Full Circle - Aikido Method of Friendship]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Sep 2020 15:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/full-circle-aikido-method-of-friendship</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/full-circle-aikido-method-of-friendship</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt discuss the philosophy of Aikido (the Japanese martial art founded by Morihei Ueshiba that operates using the art of peace). They describe the one purpose, which is to better the lives of people, especially those who attack you physically and emotionally and being able to bring harmony to each situation (as your job is to protect your attacker: <em>"If your opponent strikes with fire, counter with water, becoming completely fluid and free-flowing. Water by its nature, never collides with or breaks against anything. On the contrary, it swallows up any attack harmlessly."</em> <strong>- Morihei Ueshiba</strong> (translated by John Stevens)</p>
<p>This episode further explores our interactions with one another at the office and in our personal lives and is about applying the Art of Peace to the Art of Friendship.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt discuss the philosophy of Aikido (the Japanese martial art founded by Morihei Ueshiba that operates using the art of peace). They describe the one purpose, which is to better the lives of people, especially those who attack you physically and emotionally and being able to bring harmony to each situation (as your job is to protect your attacker: "If your opponent strikes with fire, counter with water, becoming completely fluid and free-flowing. Water by its nature, never collides with or breaks against anything. On the contrary, it swallows up any attack harmlessly." - Morihei Ueshiba (translated by John Stevens)
This episode further explores our interactions with one another at the office and in our personal lives and is about applying the Art of Peace to the Art of Friendship.
 ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Full Circle - Aikido Method of Friendship]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>5</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt discuss the philosophy of Aikido (the Japanese martial art founded by Morihei Ueshiba that operates using the art of peace). They describe the one purpose, which is to better the lives of people, especially those who attack you physically and emotionally and being able to bring harmony to each situation (as your job is to protect your attacker: <em>"If your opponent strikes with fire, counter with water, becoming completely fluid and free-flowing. Water by its nature, never collides with or breaks against anything. On the contrary, it swallows up any attack harmlessly."</em> <strong>- Morihei Ueshiba</strong> (translated by John Stevens)</p>
<p>This episode further explores our interactions with one another at the office and in our personal lives and is about applying the Art of Peace to the Art of Friendship.</p>
<p> </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-4-Full-Circle-Aikido-Method-of-Friendship.wav" length="282131240"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt discuss the philosophy of Aikido (the Japanese martial art founded by Morihei Ueshiba that operates using the art of peace). They describe the one purpose, which is to better the lives of people, especially those who attack you physically and emotionally and being able to bring harmony to each situation (as your job is to protect your attacker: "If your opponent strikes with fire, counter with water, becoming completely fluid and free-flowing. Water by its nature, never collides with or breaks against anything. On the contrary, it swallows up any attack harmlessly." - Morihei Ueshiba (translated by John Stevens)
This episode further explores our interactions with one another at the office and in our personal lives and is about applying the Art of Peace to the Art of Friendship.
 ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                    <itunes:image href="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/images/IMG-3948.JPG"></itunes:image>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:53:18</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[People Along the Way]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 31 Aug 2020 19:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/people-along-the-way</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/people-along-the-way</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt share stories of friends along the way that shifted everything in their lives for the better. Fawn gets emotional about her friend "Subculture Joe" (Jason) and how he made a profound impact on her and on the city of Seattle. Fawn and Matt also debate free will as Fawn shares her thoughts on destined meetings and how even the people you pass by on the sidewalk could be special preplanned connections.</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt share stories of friends along the way that shifted everything in their lives for the better. Fawn gets emotional about her friend "Subculture Joe" (Jason) and how he made a profound impact on her and on the city of Seattle. Fawn and Matt also debate free will as Fawn shares her thoughts on destined meetings and how even the people you pass by on the sidewalk could be special preplanned connections.]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[People Along the Way]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>1</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt share stories of friends along the way that shifted everything in their lives for the better. Fawn gets emotional about her friend "Subculture Joe" (Jason) and how he made a profound impact on her and on the city of Seattle. Fawn and Matt also debate free will as Fawn shares her thoughts on destined meetings and how even the people you pass by on the sidewalk could be special preplanned connections.</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-1-People-Along-the-Way.wav" length="305976292"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt share stories of friends along the way that shifted everything in their lives for the better. Fawn gets emotional about her friend "Subculture Joe" (Jason) and how he made a profound impact on her and on the city of Seattle. Fawn and Matt also debate free will as Fawn shares her thoughts on destined meetings and how even the people you pass by on the sidewalk could be special preplanned connections.]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:57:49</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[Being A Good Host In the World]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 31 Aug 2020 19:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/being-a-good-host-in-the-world</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/being-a-good-host-in-the-world</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt talk about treating the outer world (and your inner world) as your home and everyone in it as your special guest.Treating strangers, people you know, to people you work with and even advisaries as if they are your guests and assuming the role of a party host and creating a space to have people feel at home (no matter where we are).</p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt talk about treating the outer world (and your inner world) as your home and everyone in it as your special guest.Treating strangers, people you know, to people you work with and even advisaries as if they are your guests and assuming the role of a party host and creating a space to have people feel at home (no matter where we are).]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[Being A Good Host In the World]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>2</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn and Matt talk about treating the outer world (and your inner world) as your home and everyone in it as your special guest.Treating strangers, people you know, to people you work with and even advisaries as if they are your guests and assuming the role of a party host and creating a space to have people feel at home (no matter where we are).</p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-2-Being-A-Good-Host.wav" length="283637344"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn and Matt talk about treating the outer world (and your inner world) as your home and everyone in it as your special guest.Treating strangers, people you know, to people you work with and even advisaries as if they are your guests and assuming the role of a party host and creating a space to have people feel at home (no matter where we are).]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:53:35</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[All In the Family]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Mon, 31 Aug 2020 19:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/all-in-the-family</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/all-in-the-family</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Could the loneliness epidemic have been rooted initially from the family unit, where we learned how to treat each other? As the family dynamic has changed over the last few generations, so now have friendships. Fawn and Matt also discuss the role of the corporate/job world and how that has influenced our relationships and where we go from here.  </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Could the loneliness epidemic have been rooted initially from the family unit, where we learned how to treat each other? As the family dynamic has changed over the last few generations, so now have friendships. Fawn and Matt also discuss the role of the corporate/job world and how that has influenced our relationships and where we go from here.  ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[All In the Family]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                    <itunes:episode>3</itunes:episode>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Could the loneliness epidemic have been rooted initially from the family unit, where we learned how to treat each other? As the family dynamic has changed over the last few generations, so now have friendships. Fawn and Matt also discuss the role of the corporate/job world and how that has influenced our relationships and where we go from here.  </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-3-All-In-the-Family-Final-Final.wav" length="269333950"
                        type="audio/wav">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Could the loneliness epidemic have been rooted initially from the family unit, where we learned how to treat each other? As the family dynamic has changed over the last few generations, so now have friendships. Fawn and Matt also discuss the role of the corporate/job world and how that has influenced our relationships and where we go from here.  ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:50:53</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
                    <item>
                <title>
                    <![CDATA[ The Mentor ]]>
                </title>
                <pubDate>Wed, 26 Aug 2020 13:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
                <dc:creator>Fawn Anderson</dc:creator>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">
                    https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/podcasts/11391/episodes/the-mentor</guid>
                                    <link>https://our-friendly-world-with-fawn-and-matt.castos.com/episodes/the-mentor</link>
                                <description>
                                            <![CDATA[<p>Fawn describes how "Be Friendly World" and this podcast began and the mentor who was the catalyst. She describes Santa Monica, the kind of utopia that existed within a community in Los Angeles and how after traveling around the world as a documentary photographer she noticed the growing disconnect in our society, a loneliness epidemic that exists, and how to resolve it.  </p>]]>
                                    </description>
                <itunes:subtitle>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn describes how "Be Friendly World" and this podcast began and the mentor who was the catalyst. She describes Santa Monica, the kind of utopia that existed within a community in Los Angeles and how after traveling around the world as a documentary photographer she noticed the growing disconnect in our society, a loneliness epidemic that exists, and how to resolve it.  ]]>
                </itunes:subtitle>
                                    <itunes:episodeType>bonus</itunes:episodeType>
                                <itunes:title>
                    <![CDATA[ The Mentor ]]>
                </itunes:title>
                                                <itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
                <content:encoded>
                    <![CDATA[<p>Fawn describes how "Be Friendly World" and this podcast began and the mentor who was the catalyst. She describes Santa Monica, the kind of utopia that existed within a community in Los Angeles and how after traveling around the world as a documentary photographer she noticed the growing disconnect in our society, a loneliness epidemic that exists, and how to resolve it.  </p>]]>
                </content:encoded>
                                    <enclosure url="https://episodes.castos.com/5f36f6bebac289-67402395/Episode-0-Santa-Monica-The-mentor.mp3" length="35290822"
                        type="audio/mpeg">
                    </enclosure>
                                <itunes:summary>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn describes how "Be Friendly World" and this podcast began and the mentor who was the catalyst. She describes Santa Monica, the kind of utopia that existed within a community in Los Angeles and how after traveling around the world as a documentary photographer she noticed the growing disconnect in our society, a loneliness epidemic that exists, and how to resolve it.  ]]>
                </itunes:summary>
                                                                            <itunes:duration>00:29:24</itunes:duration>
                                                    <itunes:author>
                    <![CDATA[Fawn Anderson]]>
                </itunes:author>
                            </item>
            </channel>
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