KSTB- Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting

KSTB Presents: Dark Horse Hotel

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Mar 2026 06:00:00 +0000

Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting is proud to present their very first play! This is a special proof of concept presentation to demonstrate the viability of all audio entertainments. so sit back, close your eyes, and let us transport you to... The Dark Horse Hotel!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Verhaalgard Ventures: The Stonetree Broadcasting Tower

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +0000

Look, sometimes, time gets away from you. It happens to everyone. It happens to me, and then I end up doing an episode of my travel show about my own house. Sorry.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

The Empty Scabbard Adventurers Get Banned fom Hyland for Life

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0000

The problem with victorious adventurers is that they then want all the rewards they were promised for completing their quests. Even though you might prefer they forget some of the things you promised them, like telling them a slightly embarassing story from your past... Anyway, here's the tale of how THE EMPTY SCABBARD ADVENTURERS GOT BANNED FROM HYLAND FOR LIFE.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

HSTB Community Service: Planning Council

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Dec 2025 07:00:00 +0000

Now that the adventure is over, the heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting have to deal with their court ordered community service. For his community service, Arenthaer Gald has recived the harshest punishment of anyone, as he must record and broadcast a minor government meeting.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

This episode is a parody of the form and general feel of a city planning meeting, but is not based on anyone in particular. Any resemblence to actual city planning board members, cases, or comments is entirely coincidental.

HSTB Community Service: Reformation is Hard

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +0000

Now that the adventure is over, the heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting have to deal with their court ordered community service. Except Alias didn't actually get community service, so let's check on her and see how she's handling life as a law abiding citizen.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

HSTB Community Service: Free Clinic

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0000

Now that the adventure is over, the heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting have to deal with their court ordered community service. Gilroy of Stalmvor will be helping out by working extra shifts at the Temple of Stalmvor Free Clinic, and I bet he sees some interesting injuries while he does.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

HSTB Community Service: No Littering

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0000

Now that the adventure is over, the heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting have to deal with their court ordered community service. Theobore Bloodaxe is going to be cleaning up the mean streets of Stonetree, because he's been made to pick up litter. Let's see how that goes.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

HSTB Community Service: Adventuring 101

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0000

Now that the adventure is over, the heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting have to deal with their court ordered community service. Sir Gwythir Owain decided to teach a class for aspiring adventurers, and for some reason, they let him do it. Let's look in and see how that's going.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

From the Casebooks of Faustian D'Azoral: Heroes on Trial!

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0000

It's time for the Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting to have their big climactic battle against the forces of evil! Actually, no, that was a while ago. But no one knows what happened, because the Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting were arrested in the immediate aftermath! Can Faustian D'Azoral prove in court that our heroes are innocent? Or if not innocent exactly, that they had a good reason to destroy that city block?

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Foresight with Finola Vance: Battle Forecasting

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0000

The Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting are nearly finished with their adventure. In fact, the only thing left is the actual defeat of the necromancer. If only we knew where he was... In the meantime, our heroes call in for advice from KSTB's Spectacular Seer, Finola Vance!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting- Other Hotspots

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 May 2025 06:00:00 +0000

The Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting have spent nearly the last year traveling up and down Verhaalgard to cleanse death energy from the adventuring hotspots. But they couldn't make it to all the hotspots, so Arenthaer Gald had to take care of a couple of them himself.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Don't Do Crimes: Stealth Mission

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0000

Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting is continuing it's mission to prevent crime, with examples from our real criminal, Alias the Thief. This week, Alias will compare adventuring and crime, which is fine, because if you are going to do crimes, you should do it out in the wilds away from civilization.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Artifacts Roadshow: Dividing the Loot

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Mar 2025 06:00:00 +0000

The Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting have found some treasure! Three new pieces of magical equipment, and the only problem is that they have no idea what any of it does. Which is why, today, we have a very special Artifacts Roadshow, so Diviner Valdas can tell our heroes what they found!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Archer Blackwood, Corpsefinder: Total Party Kill

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 07:00:00 +0000

On this week's installment of ARCHER BLACKWOOD: CORPSEFINDER, the redoubtable ressurectionist must locate and revive an entire party of heroes! Can the gnome with the nose for the no longer living find all the bodies in time to save them? Find out! By listening to this episode! Right Now!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

MAGICAL DIFFICULTIES- PLEASE STAND BY

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Jan 2025 07:00:00 +0000

WE SEEM TO BE EXPERIENCING SOME MAGICAL DIFFICULTIES- NORMAL PROGRAMMING WILL RESUME AS SOON AS THE ONLY PERSON WHO REALLY KNOWS HOW IT WORKS REGAINS CONSIOUSNESS.

To complain about this interruption in programming, please email arenthaergald@gmail.com.

The Night Before Midwinter

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 22 Dec 2024 03:03:37 +0000

It's a surprise holiday message, and a visit from our local creator deity! Happy Midwinter Everyone!

Sir Gwythir Owain vs. The Frost Lich

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Dec 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Sir Gwythir Owain, noble knight and adventurer, prefers not to make elaborate plans. He likes to practice what he thinks of as "Improv Adventuring". It's not like playing an improv game with your amateur dramatics society, and none of the villians or monsters are going to "yes, and..." your plans. In fact, sometimes even if it works it goes completely sideways, like what happens when we join Sir Gwythir Owain today, when the Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting encounter an unexpected foe...

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Gilroy of Stalmvor: Do No Harm

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Nov 2024 07:00:00 +0000

It can be a tough life for an adventuring cleric. Adventuring is, in and of itself, a violent profession. How do you balance that with a healer's oath to do no harm? Gilroy of Stalmvor has spent a lot of time thinking about this, and this week, on Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting, he'll share the answers he's arrived at.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Verhaalgard Ventures: Hyland Hijinks

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Sightseeing can be hard, especially when some of the sights to see are in cities that you have been banished from on pain of death. That's why, on this Verhaalgard Ventures, the Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting will be guiding you on an audio tour of the City of Hyland. Sir Gwythir Owin and Alias are from Hyland, so they've got this under control, right? It'll be fine.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Theobore the Barbarian has an Axe to Grind with Adventuring Parties

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Sep 2024 06:00:00 +0000

They talk alot about the camaraderie that develops between adventurers. Bands of boon companions, having a grand time while fighting for their lives against monsters. You know what doesn't get talked about as much? How much your fellow adventurers are going to piss you off sometimes. Luckily for us, Theobore Bloodaxe is willing to talk about it, at length, because this month, Theobore the Barbarian has an Axe to Grind with Adventuring Parties!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting- Setting Out

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Aug 2024 06:00:00 +0000

The adventure is about to begin, but it can't begin properly without everyone spending a bunch of time buying the equipment that they may or may not need. This week, join the Heroes of Stonetree Broadcasting as they have a shopping episode!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Stonetree Afternoon News Dispatch: Good News/Bad News

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Jul 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Do you want the good news or bad news first? Not that you have a choice, since I couldn't hear your answer anyway, and the parts of this that were recorded, while they were live at the time, aren't live now. So I'm afraid you'll have to take the news in the order that I already did it in. Sorry.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

CWC Class of 1324 Commencement Speech

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Jun 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Arenthaer Gald has been asked to give a speech at the Ceallach Wizard College Class of 1324 graduation. Apparently the goal of these speeches is to give advice to the new grads. But when it came time to write, all Arenthaer could think about was how nearly any piece of advice he could think of would only be relevant to some of the grads. This is what he came up with.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Special thanks this month to Baz Luhrmann, who did the song I'm parodying, and also to Mary Schmich, whose essay provided the words for that song.

Archer Blackwood, Corpsefinder: Most Dangerous Game

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 May 2024 06:00:00 +0000

On this week's installment of ARCHER BLACKWOOD: CORPSEFINDER, the clever cleric engages in a deadly game of cat and mouse with a member of Hyland's notorious guild of assassins, The Hyland Society for the Gentlemen of the Hunt! Can the gnome with the nose for the no longer living find the body and foil the assassin's plans within the three day ressurection window? Find out! By listening to this episode! Right Now!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Foresight with Finola Vance: Adventure Calling

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Apr 2024 06:00:00 +0000

It's an uncertain world out there, and it's not always (if it ever is) clear what actions you should take to achive your goals. That's why you should call in to Foresight with Finola Vance, and let our wonderful weathergirl, the marvelous meteorastrologer, use her fortune telling abilities to help you divine the correct path!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Stonetree Keep Audio Tour

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 06:00:00 +0000

One of the things every visitor to Stonetree should see is Stonetree Keep! Not that you could avoid seeing it, it towers over the city, but I also mean the inside! And once inside, why not take the Stonetree Keep Audio Tour, to get trivia and fun facts about the things you'll see on your visit to the Keep! IMPORTANT NOTE: When visiting Stonetree Keep, it is important to stick to the publically accessible areas, as wandering off can be dangerous.

Headphones Reccomended.

Capybara Day

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Feb 2024 07:00:00 +0000

There's a big festival today in Inaldor Springs! What's it all about, and why is everyone up so early? Let's find out!

Curses Foiled!

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Jan 2024 07:00:00 +0000

They told you not to wear that suspicious amulet, but what did you do? You knew you shouldn't have upset that sorceror, and you still did it. You were warned against trying that back alley potion, and here you are. Cursed. Whatever caused it, you've contracted a magical malady of some kind. What do you do next? Visit a cleric of Nissana like Ailsa Runebreak, an expert in Foiling Curses! Today, Ailsa provides an example of what goes into breaking a curse, on Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Tome of Titans: In Our Own Backyard

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Dec 2023 07:00:00 +0000

The wilds are full of dangerous creatures and horrible monsters, but there are also stange and deadly beasts right here at home in Stonetree! Today, on Tome of Titans, learn about what strange entities lurk in our own backyards!

Tales from the Late Rose: Islwyn the Incredible

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Nov 2023 07:00:00 +0000

We've all heard of the Legendary wizard Islwyn the Incredible, but how much do we really know? And did you know that he is, somehow, still alive? Today, we visit the Late Rose Retired Adventurer's Community and talk to the oldest person on Verhaalgard about his early life, if he can remember any of it.

Gate Odyssey

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Oct 2023 06:00:00 +0000

Despite his best efforts, Arenthaer continues to travel. This time he needs to go get an award in far Voronnin in the north, and is going via Affiliated Gates! Gate travel is the convienient way to get across the continent in a hurry, so let's see how it goes!

From The Casebooks Of Faustian D'Azoral- Custom Tailored Lawsuit

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Sep 2023 06:00:00 +0000

Faustian D'Azoral, Warlock at Law, is not an adventurer, so it is his custom to avoid becoming contractually obligated to do adventures. But, of course, contracts are no obstacle to Verhaalgard's Greatest Warlock/Attorney! And once you wrangle the contract, the adventure is easy peasy. Find out how, on this episode From the Casebooks of Faustian D'Azoral!

Arenthaer Gald on Vacation: To the Mooon!

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 06:00:00 +0000

As a desperate last ditch effort to find somewhere to relax, Arenthaer resorts to a drastic course of action. He and Finola will boldly go where no Verhaalgard native has gone before, to set foot on the Moon! Let's just see how that works out for him.

Arenthaer Gald on Vacation: Remote Mountaintop

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 06:00:00 +0000

Getting a bit sick of interruptions, Arenthaer takes his vacation to a remote peak in the Solvaelk Mountains. There's nothing alive for miles, and from up here, he should be able to see anything well before it can annoy him, right?

Arenthaer Gald on Vacation: Luxury Cruise

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 06:00:00 +0000

Determined to enjoy his vacation, Arenthaer Gald has set out to sea on a luxury cruise! Becasue the sea is definitley always a safe and relaxing place... right?

Arenthaer Gald on Vacation: Treehouse Resort

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 May 2023 06:00:00 +0000

Arenthaer is still trying to enjoy his vacation by getting away from it all, or rather, above it all in a Treehouse Resort near Iorwerth. Surely nothing could go wrong so high up in the trees, right?

Arenthaer Gald on Vacation: A Secluded Castle

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Apr 2023 06:00:00 +0000

Arenthaer is continuing his vacation, but is currently stranded in a secluded castle. A country manor house that a storm prevents anyone from leaving? It'll be fine. Probably.

Arenthaer Gald on Vacation: The Beach

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Mar 2023 06:00:00 +0000

Arenthaer has never taken a vacation. He needs a break, and he's going to take it. For the next six months or so, tune in for brief vacation updates, as Arenthaer tries desparatley to enjoy his time off, and tries to avoid getting involved in too many adventures!

Arnbjorg's Home for Orphaned Familiars

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Feb 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Wizard's have magical assistants that help them cast spells and stuff. These usually take the form of animals, like cats, owls, toads, and ravens, but most any animal could be a familiar. And what happens to them when their wizard dies? Find out today, as we take a little tour of Arnbjorg's Home for Orphaned Familiars!

Foresight with Finola Vance: Inadvisable Advice

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Jan 2023 07:00:00 +0000

It's a tough world out there. Things are scary, and the scariest thing of all is uncertainty. So if you are uncertain, call in to ask Finola Vance, and get future insights to your present problems! Maybe. If your question makes sense and it wouldn't be unethical to tell you the answer. On this episode: Life advice for the young from the technically younger, the source of the sense of impending doom, and a mobid question that takes a turn, on Foresight with Finola Vance!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Verhaalgard Ventures - Faolan: Midwinter Wonderland

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Dec 2022 07:00:00 +0000

Wintertime is not the ideal time to travel, but for some places, it's totally worth it to visit during the colder months. Places like Faolan, home of the winter elves. Actually, I think it might just be Faolan, and to find out why, listen to this month's Verhaalgard Ventures!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Archer Blackwood- Murder in the Manor to Which They Have Become Accustomed

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 07:00:00 +0000

On this week's installment of ARCHER BLACKWOOD: CORPSEFINDER, the clever cleric must face a danger unlike any he's faced before. (Super obnoxious rich people.) Can the gnome with the nose for the no longer living find the body and clear the good name of the accused murderer, Sir Gwythir Owain? Find out! By listening to this episode! Right Now!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Bad Moon on the Rise

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Oct 2022 06:00:00 +0000

Did you know that the Blood Moon Convergence is a natural source of free (unclean, necromantic) energy? Necromancers like Erdan Gald are working to harness this power for the betterment of Verhaalgard. Hopfully nothing goes wrong...

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Artifacts Roadshow: Not Technically Cursed

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Sep 2022 06:00:00 +0000

There are curses and there are not curses, you know? Like... One mans curse could be another's blessing, or vice versa. And not all curses are of a strictly magical nature, and some are intensely personal. That's the kind of thing we examine on today's Artifacts Roadshow!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Stonetree Relaxation Soundscapes

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Aug 2022 06:00:00 +0000

Everyone needs to chill sometimes, but on the road when you are adventuring, it's hard. So Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting is happy to provide this valuable lesson on how to relax. Enjoy three instances showcasing the tranquility to be experienced all across Verhaalgard.

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Don't Do Crimes - The Greenscale Heist

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Jul 2022 06:00:00 +0000

Alias the Thief is a veritable treasure trove of information on why crime is a bad idea, and nothing illustrates that quite like this story. Here's a tip: you need a really really good plan to steal from a dragon. Alias does not have even a kind of good plan. And yet... parts of the story sound a bit... familiar...

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Sir Gwythir Owain versus the Greenscale Terror

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Jun 2022 06:00:00 +0000

It's a brand new tale from our Favorite Noble Knight and Adventurer(TM), featuring dragons, maidens, and the seeming rescue therof. It's everything you want in a chivalric tale, but for some reason, it seems like he doesn't tell this one quite as often. I can't imagine why...

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Verhaalgard Ventures - There's No Place Like Holme

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 May 2022 06:00:00 +0000

Had a little too much adventure? Need a place to get away from it all? Are you under 4 feet tall or have a really thick skull? (Please note that I am not asking if you are stupid, I am actually referring to cranial resilience.) On this Verhaalgard Ventures we visit Holme, one of the major halfling towns, with Theobore Bloodaxe, Barbarian Hero!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Modern Magic- The Undead Symphony

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Apr 2022 06:00:00 +0000

Erdan Gald the Necromantic Conductor has been touring his Undead Orchestra for years, and just recently decided to push the necromantic envelope, by expanding it into an Undead Symphony! On this Modern Magic, we visit with him on just how he achieved that feat.

Special thanks and apologies to Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky (1839-1881), the earth elemental who composed this weeks feature music, Night on Bald Mountain. Also thanks to www.musopen.org for providing it to us!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Note: I did notice that "Orchestra" and "Symphony" have slightly different definitions on Verhallgard from the Elemental Plane of Earth. Dimensions are weird!

From The Casebooks Of Faustian D'Azoral- The Devil Went Down To Stonetree

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Mar 2022 06:00:00 +0000

Faustian D'Azoral is many things, but there are also many things he is not. Faustian D'Azoral is not a lip reader, a musician, or a gambler. Oh, he'll play games of chance, but is it really gambling when winning is a foregone conclusion? Find out, with an example From the Casebooks of Faustian D'Azoral!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Artifacts Roadshow: Does What it Says on the Tin

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Feb 2022 07:00:00 +0000

Artifacts Roadshow is back to illuminate the magical properties and histories of more magic items! What magic could these weapons used in a crime have? Is your family heirloom valuable? What were those boots made for, and what do they do? And how much is it all worth? Find out!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Theobore the Barbarian has an Axe to Grind with: Traps!

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 16:52:00 +0000

Theobore Bloodaxe is in a rage about a recent quest he went on. Is it wizards, bad manners, or not fighting that makes him so mad? Yes to all of those. But most of all, this week, Theobore the Barbarian has an Axe to Grind with... Traps!

Foresight with Finola Vance #3

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Dec 2021 07:00:00 +0000

Anxious? Afraid? In an existential crisis? Get advice about the future from Finola Vance, instead of just the weather. This time, dating advice for the short, adventuring advice for the inexperienced, and harvest advice for people who don't listen properly. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Archer Blackwood- Corpsefinder

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Nov 2021 07:00:00 +0000

An Adventurer's Insurance Policy means that someone will come to ressurect you if you die on a quest, but if you think about it, finding your mangled corpse is like a quest in and of itself! This week we follow tracker cleric Archer Blackwood as he searches for a body some would prefer remain missing!

Seija's Alchemical Tutorial- Make Haste

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Oct 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Ever wish you were faster? Not blinding speed, but like... 40% faster? Well you're in luck, assuming you tune in to this episode of Seija's Alchemical Tutorial! Learn alongside this week's novice alchemist, Finola Vance!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Modern Magic- The Silent Plate Armor

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Sep 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Sir Gwythir Owain is one of the last people you'd expect to be on the forefront of magical research. But he is! Kinda. In that he was the impetus for other people to do magical research. That's what we explore this week on Modern Magic!

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

From The Casebooks Of Faustian D'Azoral- Party's Over

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Aug 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Adventuring parties are built on trust. You gotta be sure that your boon companions won't stab you in the back and make off with your share. Faustian D'Azoral, Warlock at Law, has thoughts about this dynamic, and is willing to share them with you today, with an example from his casebook!

Verhaalgard Ventures - The Fangwind Fleet

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 12:24:00 +0000

Perhaps you live in a landlocked country. Maybe you've never seen the sea. Not to worry, becasue on this Verhaalgard Venture, we visit the orcs of the Fangwind Fleet, a nomadic, seagoing people. You can learn all about orc culture and cooking, and find out just what is up with orc dentists. There's adventure on the high seas, on this Verhaalgard Venture!

Sir Gwythir Owain vs. The Cockatrice of Brastondell

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Jun 2021 12:23:00 +0000

I had planned a full interview with Hans Vanderson about his live show, but he... had to go... So instead, please enjoy this prerecorded program, Sir Gwythir Owain versus the Cockatrice of Brastondell, on the off chance that you haven't already heard Sir Gwythir tell this story dozens of times...

Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Don't Do Crimes

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 May 2021 12:23:00 +0000

Thinking of committing a crime in Stonetree? Maybe think twice about that, or something like this could happen... to YOU! Listen to this hardened criminal describing the sort of thing that happens in the seedy underworld of our beloved fantasy kingdom. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Theobore the Barbarian has an Axe to Grind with: Bandits!

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Apr 2021 12:23:00 +0000

Theobore Bloodaxe, most famous halfling barbarian on Verhaalgard, gets pretty angry about things. That's what makes him a barbarian. If you manage to set him off, look out! This week on KSTB we've got a sort of controlled detonation, since we sat down to talk to Theobore about what really pisses him off. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Verhaalgard Ventures - Caellach

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Mar 2021 06:02:27 +0000

Stuck at home? Not the adventurous or traveling sort? Not to worry! KSTB is taking you along on journeys to destinations around Verhaalgard, starting with Caellach! We'll look at the famous college town through three lenses, food, art, and adventure! Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

KSTB News 2

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 07:06:09 +0000

A typical news break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. Learn about new regulations on dangerous magical weapons, get some good reasons to be careful and cautious, and hear about a weird dream I had. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Foresight With Finola Vance 2

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Jan 2021 07:02:56 +0000

Get advice about the future from Finola Vance, instead of just the weather. This time, a young mother seeks an auspicious name for her child, a grifter tries to take the gamble out of gambling, and agoraphobic dwarf looks at his job prospects. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Artifacts Roadshow

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 07:11:57 +0000

Have you found treasure, and been like "Huh, I have no idea what this is, and no way of finding out?" Maybe you should try and get on an episode of Artifacts Roadshow, where our resident treasure expert will identify all your family heirlooms or stuff you've looted or stolen. It's probably not worth much though. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

KSTB REMIX

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Nov 2020 07:21:49 +0000

This is the second episode posted today, so make sure to check the earlier one! In honor of our year anniversary of sharing these snippets from an otherworldly radio station, here's a little something different: some of our early ads with all the parts switched around. Did you know we have a twitter, where you could, in theory, follow us for updates? We do! @arenthaer on twitter! And we also have a redbubble shop, if you wanted to wear our logo on a shirt or something! redbubble.com/people/arenthaer

KSTB Ads Set 8

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Nov 2020 07:07:07 +0000

A typical commercial break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. In this set of fantastical ads we learn what clothes to wear, where to get them cleaned, where we can get an education, and what to do if you get stabbed at home or need to go to the bathroom when traveling. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

The Tome Of Titans

Arenthaer Gald — Thu, 15 Oct 2020 06:01:37 +0000

Arm yourself with knowledge before adventuring out into the wilds, by listening to The Tome of Titans! In this episode we encounter monsters that are legenday, bizzare, deadly, and surprising, in that order. Fair warning: things get loud.

KSTB Ads Set 7

Arenthaer Gald — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 06:39:10 +0000

It's lunchtime in Stonetree, and everyone is getting all indecisive about where to eat. Luckily, KSTB has put together this handy guide on some of the tasty, or at least interesting, restaurant options available.

Seija's Alchemical Tutorial

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Aug 2020 06:37:23 +0000

It's time for something educational! You (yes you) (actually no, probably not you, but maybe someone) can learn how to prepare a couple of simple and useful magical potions. KSTB accepts no responsibility for the results and side effects of any potion you might prepare. Do not attempt without direct supervision from a qualified alchemist.

KSTB Ads Set 6

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 06:01:04 +0000

A typical commercial break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. You'll learn where to go for fine jewelry, about the plight of majestic (and tropical) animals, some of the dos and don'ts of making wishes, and what you need in the way of life insurance and home security. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

From The Casebooks Of Faustian D'Azoral

Arenthaer Gald — Mon, 15 Jun 2020 06:14:41 +0000

All your questions about Faustian D'Azoral answered! How does he work cases? What kinds of deals does he make? How does his dog smell? What is his shoe size? Wait... not that one. Some of your questions answered, in this adventure, From the casebooks of Faustian D'Azoral!

Foresight With Finola Vance

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 May 2020 06:01:25 +0000

Get advice about the future from Finola Vance, instead of just the weather. In this episode a halfling is nervous about his upcoming wedding , a mysterious stranger wants advice on a non specific job, and a young person looks for career advice. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

KSTB Ads Set 5

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Apr 2020 06:08:51 +0000

A typical commercial break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. You'll learn where to go to get that barbarian battlefield bod, or armor to cover it up, where you can leave your valuables, and who can help you move them, and about damages that you may be entitled to. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

KSTB News 1

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 06:01:18 +0000

A typical news break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. You'll learn what scams are going around, about educational opportunities for the whole family, and current events in local archaeology. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting Ads 4

Arenthaer Gald — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 21:52:56 +0000

A typical commercial break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. You'll learn where to get lunch, about a hot business opportunity, what to do if your familiar seems sad, which supposedly hot business opportunities to avoid, and where to go to get your teeth cleaned. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

KSTB Ads Set 3

Arenthaer Gald — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 06:44:53 +0000

A typical commercial break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. You'll learn about career opportunities for 10 year olds, what to eat in dungeons and caves, how to tell if your magic items are safe to use, where to get companionship (not like that), and the details for the hot ticket event of the season. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting Ads 2

Arenthaer Gald — Sun, 15 Dec 2019 17:31:07 +0000

A typical commercial break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. You'll find out which about historical tours you can take, what tests you should subject your romantic partners to, where to buy the best shoes, and which inn is recommended by a celebrity. There's also a Public Service Announcement from the Stonetree Association for Public Health. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcasting Ads 1

Arenthaer Gald — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 00:23:00 +0000

A typical commercial break on a radio station in a Fantasy Kingdom called Stonetree. You'll find out which carpet to buy, where to get swords, potions, or a job, and who to call if you get into legal trouble. Direct any questions or comments to arenthaergald@gmail.com.

Here's the script that was used to create this episode:

Ad #1 Luxury Flying Carpet: The 1319 Alatar Gryphon

(Classy low music)

Announcer: Introducing the all new 1319 Alatar Gryphon- elevating the magic carpet from conveyance (pause) to artform. The Alatar Gryphon, woven from the finest silk and powered by premium spirits from the elemental plane of air, it provides an absolutely smooth ride through any night sky. Starting at just 1199 gold pieces per month and with 0 percent financing for the first 60 months, the question isn't can you afford the 1319 Alatar Gryphon, (pause) but can you afford to be seen flying anything else? Alatar Flying Carpets, made with enchantment. 1199 gold piece per month and 0 percent apr offer based on credit check, not compatible with some other offers, see participating rug merchant for details.

Ad #2 Potion Shop- Seija's Alchemical Emporium

1: - and my elbow's been really bothering me, and I'm pretty sure I've contracted trollpox, and I think these aren't freckles, but a colony of micraoscopic skin pixies, and-

2: (Interspersed) Oh. Uh huh. 11aYeah. You know, if you're so worried about it, why don't we go into Seija's Alchemical Emporium over there?

1: I don't know, do you really think it would help?

2: Absolutely, Seija makes potions and remedies for all kinds of gnarly diseases and conditions. Let's go!

(SFX) Shop Door Bell.

Seija: Welcome to Seija's Alchemical Emporium, what can I help you with today?

1: Well, I've got troll pox, and skin pixies, and Shallbazzars's Disease and my elbows been bothering me and and (wheeze) and asthma.

Seija: I see. Here's a potion for the asthma. Don't drink it, just open the bottle and inhale the fumes when you start to wheeze.

SFX: Cork pop, deep breath.

2: What about all the other stuff, do you have a potion that can fix all that?

Seija: Oh yes, I believe I do. Try a draft of this.

1: The label says “Potion of Wisdom” on it. How is that going to help?

Seija: Just try it.

SFX: Cork pop, drinking sounds.

1: Oh my gods, I'm a hypochondriac.

Announcer: Seija's Alchemical Emporium- Stocking a variety of curative and enhancing potions, located on Scholars Row, near the Library.

Ad #3 Weapon Forge – Ironsleeves Forge- Proprietor Ranulf Ironsleeves

Fighter 1: Draw steel knave!

Fighter 2: Knave, ha! I'll show you!

SFX: Swords Clash like a few times.

SFX: Sword shattering clattering away.

Ironsleeves: See, this would never happen if ye just shopped at Ironsleeves forge! We've all that ye need in the way of swords, axes, hammers, and the like. In the heat o' battle, ye should never have to worry about-

SFX: Sword shatter

Ironsleeves: so you can focus on this:

SFX: Swords clash

Fighter 1: You fight like a dairy farmer!

Fighter 2: How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

Fighter 1: I'm surprised your mother lets you have something as sharp as a sword.

Fighter 2: I didn't get permission to use it from my mother, I got it from yours.

Ironsleeves: And by this, I'm o'course reffering to your swordfight banter. Remember, if ye're looking fer arms, the firs place ye look is in Ironsleeves!

Ad #4 Job offers – Questboard

Person 1: My Cellar is full of rats and I don't know what to do!

Person 2: I need someone to go into the forest and gather mushrooms for me!

Person 3: A kobold stole my baby!

All together now: Who can help us?

Announcer: It sounds like what you all need is Questboard! Questboard is the new way to hire people to assist you with your everyday, and not so everyday tasks. Simply come into our counter (inside the Copper dragon inn on Gate Street) and our professional scribe will post the relevant information on your quest to the new Questboard outside the inn. Special Deal! First time Questgivers can post up to five quests at an introductory price of just 3 silvers per bulletin.

All: Thanks Questboard!

Ad #5 The Offices of Faustiaun D'Azoral- Warlock at Law

1: When I was young, I foolishly made a bargain with a witch to trade my firstborn child for a pair of magic shoes. But when I finally had a kid, it turned out that I really liked him! So I called at the offices of Faustiaun D'Azoral, Warlock at Law, and he convinced the Witch that Firstborn child, in our verbal agreement, meant the first child I had ever held, and I promptly handed over my younger brother instead of my son. It was a win win!

2: When my brother traded me to a witch for a pair of magic shoes, I hired D'Azoral, Warlock at law, and he proved that only a person's actual parents can trade then for magic shoes, and the contract for my immortal soul was null and void. He even got me damages for emotional distress!

D'Azoral: Have you been accused of a crime? Were you injured in a dangerous magical experiment? Did you enter into an unwise contract with a being beyond your comprehension? I Faustiaun D'Azoral, Warlock at Law, will put my many years of experience negotiating and surviving contracts for power and personal gain with demons from the very pits of hell, to work for you. With crimes and contracts, it's easy to feel like you're in over your head, but whatever hedge witch or magistrate you've gotten on the wrong side of is nothing compared to Dread Mephitstelzeebub, lord of the under realms, king of pain, the end of all hope and life! (ahem) And if I can handle him, then I can help you. If you're in trouble with the mundane or magical laws of the land, come and see me, Faustiaun D'Azoral Warlock at law today! I'm sure we can make a deal!

Station ID:

You’re listening to KSTB, the Kingdom of Stonetree Broadcast via the Speaking Stone Coalition. I’m Arenthaer Gald and coming up we’ll hear from the new bardic sensation whose shaking all the leaves at Stonetree Keep, but first we’ll have Finola Vance, our meteorastrologer, with the weather.

FInola: The Stars say that the rest of today shall be sunny. Well, one star does… the sun. It's the sun.. Ha ha, just my little joke. But tomorrow and Thursday will be rainy, according to the position of the moon in conjunction with the constellation Nimbocumulus. If you have green eyes, watch out for lightning bolts, possibly metaphorical ones, although you never know.