ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom

ENEMIES: From War To Wisdom Episode 50: Why War is Not Necessary

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 09 Nov 2023 16:54:31 +0000

In this final episode, Eleanor and Polly look back over their time together in doing the podcast and they assess where humanity seems to be standing in regard to war and wisdom. They reflect on the state of war and why humans return repeatedly to armed polarization, called “war.” And they talk about other options for polarization – being able to talk about our differences in a humanized way. Why is that still apparently unachievable? How does humane dialogue relate to mindfulness? Why are we stuck still in hostile enactments with other humans? In this final meeting, these two friends use humor and spiritual insight to look at where we are standing and how hard it is to travel, even in our minds, from War to Wisdom.d, “Instead, use your words.”

ENEMIES: From War To Wisdom Episode 49: Remaining Curious

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Fri, 14 Oct 2022 15:23:00 +0000

In this episode, we discuss the meaning of curiosity as a primary emotion and how it is expanded or restricted, throughout our development from infancy through old age, by conscious and unconscious factors. Curiosity or “interest” motivates us to engage with our experiences in ways that we can learn from them. The human infant is born with a primary motivation to investigate its experiences with curiosity, even when they are painful. Naturally, our curiosity help us survive by allowing us to discern the markers of pleasure and pain.What blocks our curiosity, then, when we are relating to each other as adults? How and why do we lose interest when we disagree or believe we “have heard it all, already”? Why do we close our ears to what we disagree with or find emotionally threatening? In this podcast, we talk about how we can retain our natural curiosity and the “Don’t Know Mind” even when we are in a difficult conversation.

ENEMIES: From War To Wisdom Episode 48: Listening Mindfully: Getting Out of Your Own Head

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 04:00:00 +0000

Why is it so hard to hear and feel another person’s meaning when you are in difficult conversations? Even though you may love the other person, when they speak about something that “makes you angry,” you may find it’s impossible to hear anything except your own thoughts. When we feel emotionally threatened, we protect ourselves and promote our own points. This is universal. Everyone closes their ears to anything except their own thoughts when they feel insulted or emotionally threatened. The second rule of Real Dialogue is called “Listening Mindfully.” It teaches us how to open our ears and our minds during emotional pain or animosity in order not to not to create an enemy even before we hear what is being said.

ENEMIES: From War To Wisdom Episode 47: Speaking For Yourself: Foundation of Real Dialogue

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 19:08:00 +0000

In this podcast, we talk about how and why a speaker should LOWER emotional threat if that person wants to be seen, heard, and felt accurately. We don’t have to “be nice” or even “be kind,” be we have to limit ourselves to our own experience in speaking (not using “we” or “you” or claim to know “the facts”). Being able to speak subjectively (only for yourself) means that you do not speak for someone else’s reality, perceptions, or feelings. Listening to this podcast you will learn how to lower emotional threat, how to remain authentic and confident, while cultivating an open space such as: “Here’s what it’s like for me, what’s it like for you?” This mindful space between our own experience and the experience of another person allows us to enter into conversation with people who are on a different side (of anything) without creating unnecessary hostility or making an enemy.

ENEMIES: From War To Wisdom Episode 46: What is Power? What is Vulnerability?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 12:00:00 +0000

How do Homo Sapiens get and control power? What do we mean by power and how does it relate to influencing others or taking control? What is “true power” that can sustain us through our difficulties and “false power” that leads only to fears and misgivings? In this podcast, we will contemplate power and vulnerability, and how they function in our relationships, our aging, and our health.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 45: Fear of Death (Part 3)

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Mon, 04 Apr 2022 11:45:00 +0000

What is death? Is it a flat-lining on the EEG in which the brain goes quiet? Is it cardiac arrest, the stopping of the heart? Is it the departing of consciousness from the body? Why does our definition of death change? If we cannot define death, how do we understand our fear of it? What’s the difference, for example, between what we feel about different kinds of death – e.g. “natural” death, murder, and accidental death? In this episode, we will explore the meanings of death in our own experiences, in the current science of Near Death Experience, and in the residues of the pandemic and our fears of contagious illness. Can we explore the meaning of death in the same way we explore the meaning of life?

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 44: Fear of Death (Part 2)

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Wed, 23 Mar 2022 13:00:00 +0000

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 43: Fear of Death (Part 1)

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Tue, 08 Mar 2022 14:31:00 +0000

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 42: Free Speech and Right Speech: Following the Path of Non-Hatred Part 2

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Tue, 15 Feb 2022 07:20:00 +0000

There are many public debates about “free speech” in terms of limiting “hate speech” that includes insults, hostility, or slander against others, especially “vulnerable others.” In this podcast we discuss how speech (the ways we speak to ourselves and others) plays a central role in ceding or avoiding war and chaos. We will compare “free speech,” as defended in the US Constitution, with Right Speech as promoted in the Eightfold Noble Path of the Buddhist practice. Right Speech is divided into four components: abstaining from false speech, abstaining from slanderous speech, abstaining from harsh (divisive) speed, and abstaining from idle chatter. Speech and the written word are immensely powerful in creating wisdom or destruction. In this podcast, we will talk about how to develop and discern our speech so that we can engage in non-hatred at all times, opening the door to a humane treatment of others and ourselves.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 41: Free Speech and Right Speech: Following the Path of Non-Hatred

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Mon, 07 Feb 2022 02:40:00 +0000

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 40: What is Propaganda? How Can We Tell That We Are Being Persuaded by False or Fake Narratives? Part 2

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 30 Sep 2021 07:18:00 +0000

Episode 40: What is Propaganda? How Can We Tell That We Are Being Persuaded by False or Fake Narratives? Part 2 with Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and Eleanor Johnson with special guest Robert Caper

In this second part of this podcast, we will explore the nature of propaganda and how easy it is to believe in rhetoric that is based on false assumptions. How can a listener/reader/consumer discern whether there are facts and evidence backing any particular report, statement, or argument? Is there some way to know if something that you read or hear is likely to be true or false? What is “confirmation bias” and what is “negativity bias,” and how do they contribute to propaganda? How does “suggestion” relate to propaganda or false statements and what can we do to protect ourselves against false suggestions? What about scientific standards for truth? What are they? And finally, do parents offer propaganda to their children when they say “eat your spinach because it has a lot of vitamins?” or “Don’t stare at the computer screen because it will harm your eyes?” or is this simply good guidance? We will talk about how parenting and parental authority can help or hinder children in developing the ability to sift through propaganda.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 39: What is Propaganda? How Can We Tell That We Are Being Persuaded by False Rhetoric?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Tue, 29 Jun 2021 02:29:00 +0000

In this podcast, we will explore the nature of propaganda and how easy it is to believe. How can a listener/reader/consumer discern whether there are facts and evidence backing any particular attitude, statement or marketing? Is there some way to know if something is likely to be true or false when you read about it or hear? What is “confirmation bias” and how does it function in relation to propaganda? What about the scientific standard of “falsification”? We will talk especially about medical, pharmaceutical, and health-related propaganda, as well as the ways the movies may enforce or resist our public tendencies to propaganda. And finally, do parents offer propaganda when they say things like “eat your spinach, it has lots of vitamins” or “don’t stare at the computer screen, it will ruin your vision” or is this simply good guidance? We will talk about how parental authority can help or hurt children in learning how to deal with propaganda.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 38: What Is “Crowd Psychology”? How Does It Affect Individuals and Groups (Part 2)

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Wed, 03 Mar 2021 01:29:00 +0000

NEW EPISODE of Enemies: From War to Wisdom is now live! Episode 38 (Part 2): What Is “Crowd Psychology”? How Does It Affect Individuals and Groups with Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and Eleanor Johnson with special guest Robert Caper

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, believed that crowd behavior (sometimes called “mob psychology”) leads to unlocking the unconscious mind in becoming identified with a “group mentality” in the slogans or motivations of a charismatic leader. More contemporary theories of crowd behavior, such as psychologist Philip Zimbardo’s idea of “deindividuation,” claim that anonymity and group unity can persuade people to lose their concern for others, and reduce their sensitivity to guilt, remorse, and self-evaluation. In this podcast, we will talk about the power of “suggestion” and how it functions in close relationships and public spaces. If you wonder how and why anti-social behavior and lack of forethought can overtake people in large protests or mass movements, this podcast is for you.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 37: What Is “Crowd Psychology”? How Does It Affect Individuals and Groups (Part 1)

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Fri, 08 Jan 2021 20:25:00 +0000

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 36: What About Mothers & Daughters? Why Is It So Hard?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Mon, 02 Nov 2020 23:38:00 +0000

In the arena of entangled and often painful human relationships, the mother-daughter relationship may be paramount. If you think about it for a moment, you realize that every woman on earth has been inside of another woman, and then come out and had to differentiate or at least grow apart from that original home. Women are far too often alienated from within themselves, divided against themselves, their bodies, and each other. Without blame, we may need to see that the mother-daughter bond has to be clarified by women in order to stop the alienation from ourselves and other women and to explore our own conflicts and power dynamics in order for us to move ahead as self-confident women. In this podcast, Polly and Eleanor are joined by Polly’s adult daughter Amber Rickert to speak together about this complex and too-often avoided conversations about how mothers and daughters affect each other over the generations.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 35: Taking a Look at the Illusion of Reality: The Work of Donald Hoffman Part 2

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Mon, 05 Oct 2020 14:53:00 +0000

In part two of this episode, we will talk about the theory offered by contemporary cognitive scientist Donald Hoffman to explain why our natural desires and fears do not lead us to insights about “reality.” We will review some of Hoffman’s model and approach which are still very much a work-in-progress. We are taking up Hoffman’s work on this podcast because we feel it offers an extraordinarily promising view of our human predicament in regard to our own self-protection and can help us sort out confusion about our “survival fitness” (experienced as our success in protecting ourselves and promoting ourselves). Along the way, we encounter the Buddhist view of reality (the Marks of Existence) that can be succinctly summarized as “It’s not perfect, it’s not permanent and it’s not personal.” We take a leap and compare it to what Hoffman is developing. Notably, we talk about how our current spacetime continuum cannot work in any of our contemporary scientific theories and must be changed. We also talk about how our personal experience of space-time is related to what psychologists call “emotional object constancy” – a necessary human development that begins around 18 months with the birth of the self-conscious emotions. We hope this conversation opens some new doors for thinking about why we currently embrace the notion that we have to “put on our own oxygen mask before we put on another’s.”

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 34: Taking a Look at the Illusion of Reality: The Work of Donald Hoffman Part 1

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Mon, 14 Sep 2020 15:37:00 +0000

In this episode, we will talk about the theory offered by contemporary cognitive scientist Donald Hoffman to explain why our natural desires and fears do not lead us to insights about “reality.” We will review some of Hoffman’s model and approach which are still very much a work-in-progress. We are taking up Hoffman’s work on this podcast because we feel it offers an extraordinarily promising view of our human predicament in regard to our own self-protection and can help us sort out confusions about our “survival fitness” (experienced as our success in protecting ourselves and promoting ourselves). Along the way, we encounter the Buddhist view of reality (the Marks of Existence) that can be succinctly summarized as “It’s not perfect, it’s not permanent and it’s not personal.” We take a leap and compare it to what Hoffman is developing.

Notably, we talk about how our current spacetime continuum cannot work in any of our contemporary scientific theories and must be changed. We also talk about how our personal experience of space-time is related to what psychologists call “emotional object constancy” – a necessary human development that begins around 18 months with the birth of the self-conscious emotions. We hope this conversation opens some new doors for thinking about why we currently embrace the notion that we have to “put on our own oxygen mask before we put on another’s.” You can head over to www.payattentioninterviews.com to listen to the full interview with Donald Hoffman.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 33: How Do We Make Sense of What Others Do to Us and What We Do to Others When Our Actions Seem Harmful or Helpful?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Tue, 14 Jul 2020 21:19:00 +0000

In 1958, psychologist Fritz Heider originated “attribution theory” in psychology. This theory tried to answer the question: How do people make sense of what happens to them? How do they hold themselves and others responsible or not responsible without knowing the actual causes or evidence for behavior? A related theory developed by psychologist Julian Rotter in 1954 is called “Locus of Control” and looks at how we reason about our own and other’s motivations. In this podcast, we will discuss the ways we all tend to credit or blame or shame ourselves and others when we judge actions or behaviors as intentional. Do we attribute harmful actions to character or personality traits as “He is such a narcissist and that’s why he never asks about my ideas!” or to circumstances as in “No wonder she told a lie, she could not possibly deal with her financial situation!” The way we explain our own and others’ intentions play a major role in our hostilities, judgments, and life satisfaction. As we move through this conversation, we also talk about the Zen story of the Empty Rowboat which looks at attribution, control, and blame in a fresh way.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 32: The Dove is Never Free: Our Podcast Logo

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Mon, 15 Jun 2020 12:22:00 +0000

In this podcast, we talk about the philosophy and meaning behind our logo of a white peace dove that is caught in a red interdiction circle – either wholly caught or partly escaping. Of course, the dove is a symbol of peace or harmony, or even a peace offering when it has an olive branch in its beak, as pictured in our logo. The red interdiction circle is an international symbol used on highways and products and written communications to mean “no,” “nay” or “prohibited.” Our symbol of the dove trapped in the interdiction circle is meant to indicate that homo sapiens must become conscious of their natural enemy-making tendencies in order to have any modicum of peace among ourselves. Peace will never come freely to the human world. We are naturally hostile beings, not naturally peaceful for all of the reasons we have pointed out in previous podcasts. We also talk about the actual source of the meme for our podcast: Leonard Cohen’s much-loved “Anthem” -- from which many people know the line “There’s a crack in everything and that’s how the light gets in,” but few know the line “The dove is never free.” Along the way, we speak about Real Dialogue and the path from war to wisdom.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 31: The Help that Hurts and the Hurt that Helps: Knowing How to Help When Others Are in Need

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Fri, 29 May 2020 12:12:00 +0000

Years ago, there was a saying that came out of family psychiatry, especially in working with families of young adults with severe psychological disorders. It went like this, “When it comes to parents, there’s the help that hurts and the hurt that helps” – meaning that it is very difficult to know how much we can really help when loved ones are in need or in trouble (especially when they are teens or adults), and how much we need to allow them to find their own way. In this episode, we will talk about helping those at home with you, as well as helping people in your community who need help. When there is an acute need, what is the help that hurts? Sometimes we find ourselves giving opinions, advice, and even making judgments when others need help. These strategies are not helpful. Other times, we may not want someone close to us to go through a painful experience, simply because we are too afraid of the outcome for ourselves. The ways we help and try to help need during this COVID 19 crisis can be fined tuned if we pay closer attention to the nature of compassion, sympathy, control, and empathy.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 30: The Snow Globe of Our Subjectivity: Why It’s So Hard to Agree

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Fri, 01 May 2020 12:54:00 +0000

On earlier podcasts, we have talked about what it means to be a human being, an individual person who has a complex experience of seeing, hearing and feeling. On this episode we will go into the details of the individual world of being human and why it’s so hard for us to agree about what is happening from moment to moment. Our perceptions of “reality” are between about 45% and 85% individual at any given moment. That means we are not in the “same world” and consequently we don’t share the same meanings about what is going on. We base our ideas and actions on the meanings we perceive and not on reality, as it is. For that reason, we need to study the nature of reality and to be modest about our perceptions. In this podcast, we will talk about both of these subjects and why the metaphor of a “snow globe” works very well to depict the nature of our individual subjectivity.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 29: Opposites/Contraries During the COVID 19 Crisis

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 06:43:00 +0000

At this crucial juncture when we are beginning to contemplate our return to “life outside,” when the lock-down is over, we especially need to be reflective, thoughtful, and open-minded. The famous poet and artist William Blake wrote “Without Contraries, No Progress” in his famous poem “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell.” In this episode, we will talk about the importance of all sides of the conversation being included in our coming to terms with what is next, regarding this virus, our economy, and other future pandemics. How do we work with our communities, ourselves, and our bodies in order to stay healthy and aware? How does our human relationship with nature evolve now that we have seen the imbalances of human greed and wealth openly revealed? Without getting into politics, we will touch on topics such as 5G, vaccines, our human and civil rights, and what kinds of issues we need to open our eyes and ears to in these coming weeks, months, and years.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 28: Self-Righteousness and Moral Superiority

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Tue, 14 Apr 2020 11:45:00 +0000

More than three centuries ago in 1793, the great poet and artist William Blake said, “Without Contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence.” And then in 1916, the imminent psychoanalyst Carl Jung wrote as though he were speaking to us today, “The present shows with appalling clarity how little able people are to let the other man’s argument count, although this capacity is a fundamental and indispensable condition for any human community.” At this moment, it seems as if we are persuaded of our own moral superiority in ways that can lead to not only our intolerance of others’ views and opinions, but to the impoverishment of our own. Today’s politics, social media, and popular memes enthrone self-righteousness and moral superiority as we rush to tear down anyone’s perspective that is different from our own cherished views. As many of us may now discredit systems of thought and artistic expressions from earlier cultures and periods of time, in this podcast, we ask the question “How are we cheated by our own self-righteousness and what can we do about it?”

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 27: Humiliation-Rage Cycle in Private and Public Situations

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Sat, 21 Mar 2020 04:00:00 +0000

Humiliation is the experience of being exposed in our weaknesses and losing our social status in a couple or group. Being humiliated naturally evokes rage as a protective mechanism because an individual feels undermined and loses face in front of others. As we have pointed out many times on the podcast, human beings are naturally self-promoting and self-protective in groups and families. The humiliation-rage cycle is an interactive cycle between two people or groups who use shaming and blaming or “calling out” faults as a means of handling conflicts and differences. In this episode, we will talk about how destructive this cycle quickly becomes and how it should be avoided at every step of the way during conflicts in which the two parties actually want to change the other’s perspective or make an impact. In the humiliation-rage cycle, individuals get caught in the “fog of war” – a pervasive uncertainty about what they are saying, defending, and intending and why they are doing so. Keeping emotional threat levels low is always the best way to begin a conflict and to avoid the humiliation-rage cycle.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 26: Projection and Projective-Identification Part 2

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Sat, 25 Jan 2020 20:21:00 +0000

Polly and Jill continue their conversation with psychoanalyst Robert Caper (expert on projective identification) about the emotional kidnapping and confusion that occur in unconscious communication in couples, other dyads, and groups when people get emotionally activated. This is the second part of a conversation about Projection and Projective Identification.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 25: Projection and Projective-Identification: What do they mean?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Mon, 13 Jan 2020 15:28:00 +0000

(Part 1) Why are even simple topics often difficult to discuss, especially if people have different viewpoints? Underlying many confusions and animosities in human interactions in couples and groups is a form of unconscious emotional communication that implies and evokes strong reactions in ways that usually fall outside our awareness. We suddenly feel triggered, trapped, or kidnapped into an emotional reality that we had not intended. This kind of communication may be positive or idealized, as when we fall in love. More often, though, it is negative and agitating as when we feel we MUST protect ourselves by insisting on the faults of another, either someone we know or a stranger who carries an emotional meaning for us.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 24: Why Do Marriage and Commitment Bring Up Feelings of Hostility and Fear?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 28 Nov 2019 14:06:00 +0000

When people are preparing to go through a wedding – whether it’s their first or not – they often dream they are dying or are about to attend a funeral instead of a wedding. Why does monogamous commitment to another person, who is an equal, tend to bring up deep anxiety and even hostility towards that person? In this episode, we are going to explore the Buddha’s teachings of impermanence and limitation in relation to the fears that many of today’s adults, young and old, have of marriage and commitment. We will look at the ways in which a committed relationship creates a path for spiritual and psychological development and a deepened recognition and understanding of the relational nature of the human self.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 23: Troubled Sisterhood: Veiled Aggression and Competition

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Tue, 29 Oct 2019 23:42:00 +0000

There are now many studies that demonstrate how successful white women will undermine other high-status women instead of sharing resources, praise or support. If you are a working white woman, especially if you are in a position of leadership or management in a stressful setting, you have probably noticed that your fans are not other White women around who are also trying to be successful. Traditionally, White women have relied on veiled competition with each other, giving the illusion of being less aggressive than their male counterparts, and so, they may be shocked when they arrive in positions of power that they are more opposed and undermined by women like themselves than by men. The mother-daughter relationship is the most unconscious and often the most competitive relationship in the family, especially among white families of means. This podcast will look at the challenges that women now face in the workplace and on social media in regard to competition between women. It will take the position that black and brown function differently from white women because they have not traditionally set their sights on marrying as the means to financial security. On this podcast, we will unpack the problems of white women’s lack of support for each other’s prominence.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 22: The Problem of Hostile Dependency: Biting the Hand that Feeds You

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Tue, 22 Oct 2019 11:16:00 +0000

You have heard the saying “No good deed goes unpunished” and you know there is a wisdom in it. But what is that wisdom? In today’s podcast, we are going to talk about a human condition that occurs in families and with friends: There is an unequal need or dependency between supposed equals (e.g. a grown-up child who needs to live with parents) and the dependent party becomes very resentful and ungrateful. The providing party is hurt and angry at the lack of recognition of generosity. This is a classic human set-up in which the emotion of envy plays a big role. The dependent person feels and believes that the providing person has “so much more” and “could give so much more” and so, seems to be stingy or ungenerous. Think about the traditional patriarchal marriage in which the woman is financially and perhaps emotionally dependent on her husband. No matter how generous he might be, she feels cheated of her freedom to make decisions about having and spending money and she feels angry that she is dependent on him. In this episode, we will talk about the natural limits of human gratitude and how we can better cope with those limits if we face them squarely.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 21: Free Will and Wisdom: the Ten Commandments, the Five Precepts, and the Golden Rule

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 12:06:00 +0000

In this podcast, Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., Sarah Brodie, M.A. and Eleanor Johnson explore the meaning of “free will” and some of the arguments for and against it. They talk about free will in the context of the timeless “laws” or guidelines for how to develop our intentions wisely: The Ten Commandments, the five basic moral principles of Buddhism, and the Golden Rule. They will emphasize the nature of human negativity and hostility in relation to our natural reactions on an interpersonal and personal basis, as well as the wise guidance provided by our cultural ancestors in encouraging us to restrain and contain our self-protections and self-promotions. If you’d like to get involved and help make the on-stage live event Real Dialogue for Opposing Sides happen please reach out to us at enemiesfromwartowisdom@gmail.com or visit our Patreon page at: https://www.patreon.com/realdialogue

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 20: Introducing Sarah Brodie, Co-host for Real Dialogue Live Events

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Mon, 19 Aug 2019 15:15:00 +0000

Preparing to bring the podcast live, on-stage, we interview Sarah Brodie, a Dialogue Therapist from Toronto, who will co-host Real Dialogue for Opposing Sides with Polly. These are structured conversations between those with opposing views or those who have been hurt by each other. These events will bring together thoughtful experts who disagree about such diverse topics as climate change, the nature of gender, the safety of psychiatric drugs, what happens after we die, the nature of consciousness, free will, and many other topics whose opposing views stir our emotions and imaginations. Each guest will first be interviewed as an individual. Before the live event, each guest will listen to the interview of the other on the opposite side. On-stage, the co-hosts will structure and guide the questions and dialogue so that guests must follow the rules of Real Dialogue. There will be time for Q&A with the audience. In this podcast, we will interview Sarah and talk about the rules, as well as the power of Speaking for Yourself – recognizing your own subjective limitations and bias as you speak – and Listening Mindfully – recognizing another’s subjectivity.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 19: Once Again, What is the Human Self?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 12:19:00 +0000

Most of us find it confusing to see/hear/feel “the self.” We somehow believe it’s inside our bodies or is the same thing as our bodies. But the self is no thing. It does not exist as a thing anywhere, but instead is an interactional process that we begin to practice when we are about 18 months old and have the experience that we are “inside” this body and the world is “outside.” That sets up the experience of “I am” and “you are” that is always a unitary self/other interactional process. In this podcast, we will once again investigate that mysterious sense that we see/hear/feel as a “thing” called “self.” And then we also look at why this assumptions makes it easy to create enemies and defend ourselves in the face of emotional threat.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 18: Clearing the Fog of War

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Fri, 05 Jul 2019 06:44:00 +0000

As the history of Homo Sapiens suggests, we are more likely to be at war against others in our species, than to be able to live peacefully with them. And yet, some of this agitation about facing others who have opposed or harmed us might be able to be contained and understood. In the 5th century BCE text “The Art of War,” attributed to Sun Tzu, there are rules of conflict that insist on little punishment of enemies after defeat and on the importance of providing some stable and secure circumstances for those you have conquered. The primary teaching is interdependence – that the welfare of those you have defeated is also your own welfare going forward. In other words, if you treat your defeated enemies well, they are unlikely to retaliate against you. Nelson Mandela created the prototype for this way of behaving in modern times with has commitment to not retaliating against the white South Africans who had imprisoned him. In this podcast, we will talk about the possibilities and impossibilities of clearing some of the fog of war in our time.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 17: What is War?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Wed, 05 Jun 2019 13:41:00 +0000

In North American society, we make war on our enemies, opposing ideals, cancer, drugs, bullying, and false news. What do we mean and what does this attitude imply? In this podcast, we will talk about the implications and consequences of imbuing our deepest ideals and beliefs with meanings of hostility, conflict, strife, and competition between opposing forces. In place of “both/and” thinking in regard to life/death, health/disease, good/bad, virtuous/evil, victim/perpetrator, we assign “either/or” ways of understanding. And hence, we are often at war in our lives and our societies. In this podcast, we will show that embracing truth and kindness in our approach to self and other keeps us from being at war.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 16: Speaking the Truth Kindly

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Wed, 29 May 2019 21:55:00 +0000

In this podcast we will return again to the way we speak to ourselves and others. Once again, we will tune into the problem of speaking the truth to ourselves and to others. We will discern speaking the truth from judging what is right and is wrong with ourselves and others. In order to speak the truth kindly, we have #1 understand what “truth” means in the nature of the reality of being Homo Sapiens and living in an imperfect and impermanent world. For example, no human being (not your child or your spiritual mentor) is “Amazing”” or “Perfect.” Moments may be amazing and perfect, but then they will change. We find the synonyms for “kindness” do not relate to being “nice,” but to benevolence, courage, affection or grace. To maintain a truthful kind attitude towards self and other, no matter our difference in points of view or beliefs, is a goal on the path from war to wisdom.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 15 Dressed to Kill: Appearance as Power

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Sun, 28 Apr 2019 13:05:00 +0000

The Buddha repeatedly taught that we should regard ourselves and others by the consequences of our actions (including our speech) and not by our appearances. And yet, most of us evaluate and compare ourselves by our appearances all of the time. Why is that? In this podcast, we will talk about the association of power and appearance, and especially how the nature of being human, of being homo sapiens, involves us relentlessly comparing ourselves to others, typically finding ourselves lacking, and then feeling resentful. As Leonard Cohen famously said in his hymn “If It Be Your Will”:
Draw us near, and bind us tight, all your children here, in their rags of light. In our rags of light, all dressed to kill, and end this night, if it be your will.
In this podcast we will talk about both our “rags of light” and the power of appearance in human relationships.

Enemies: From War to Wisdom Episode 14: Love & Hate for Self

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Wed, 17 Apr 2019 17:53:00 +0000

In our podcasts, we have defined “self” as an “interactional process” with others. Self becomes a habitual set of dynamics with others, connected to narratives about identity, body, family and tribe. The ways we talk to ourselves and to others about ourselves are often imbued with negativity and aversion. In this podcast, we will talk about how we can develop an attitude of love, acceptance and witnessing of ourselves, and how we lose that attitude when we talk to ourselves in ways that are fundamentally untruthful about who we are and what we are doing.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 13: Hatred & Non-Hatred: What the Buddha Taught

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Sun, 14 Apr 2019 13:10:00 +0000

What is the nature of hatred and how is it related to love? What about non-hatred, is it the same as love? Love and hate abide together in the ambivalence of close relationships. Why do we hold them as opposites? Why does hate become a recurring problem in our relationships, from the family to the larger society? In this podcast, we will explore the nature of hate as an attitude or intention – not a feeling – of indifference and animosity towards others. We will also explore the famous teaching of the Buddha that “hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is an eternal law.” How can we understand this teaching?

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 12: Real Dialogue: Rules and Realities

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Sun, 31 Mar 2019 13:15:00 +0000

We all recognize Real Dialogue when we encounter it: people speak only for themselves and listen, really listen, to others. In times of conflict, opposition and emotional warfare, Real Dialogue seems impossible — but it is the only way to avoid schisms, active and passive aggression, and alienation. In this podcast we talk about the skills and insights of Real Dialogue and why it’s different from Conflict Resolution and non-violent communication. Real Dialogue requires emotional maturity, truth-telling, and the mindful ability to be in touch with your own feelings and thoughts without automatically discharging or expressing them. Real Dialogue is the only method that will always help us find the path from war to wisdom.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 11: Speaking to Yourself & Speaking to Others

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 13:16:00 +0000

Most of the time, we are walking around talking to ourselves in a manner that strongly affects how we feel about ourselves and others. Most of the time, we are not conscious of what we are saying, why we are saying it, and what the consequences are when we are speaking to ourselves. Our self-talk naturally flows into the ways we speak to others and so, on this podcast, we will open up some insight into self-talk and set up some constraints that can lead to greater respect and love for self and others. We will also begin to set the foundation for Real Dialogue and what’s required for people to talk through their differences.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 10: The Difference Between Aggression & Anger

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Sun, 17 Mar 2019 13:19:00 +0000

How are passive and active essentially biological and hard-wired through our mammalian brains? What does the limbic system have to do with our sense of outrage and disgust and what do these have to do with morality? Why is anger an essentially human emotion and how is it useful in conflict with respect/ This podcast will set the groundwork for a human dialogue about dangerous conflict without animal reactivity to the triggers of rage.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 9: Rejecting Humiliation, Hostility & Hate

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 21 Feb 2019 13:20:00 +0000

If we embrace an uncompromising rejection of racism, sexism or other means of demeaning or dismissing other humans as inferior, how can we proceed in relating to others with whom we have conflict of needs, status, or ideals? How can we conduct ourselves if we constrain or restrain our destructive feelings and emotions? How can we make our anger and needs known in a way that does not compromise our sense of injustice or meaning, but does not create more hostility, hatred, or humiliation? In this podcast we will talk about setting mindful retrains as the basis for open dialogue.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 8: Love & Hate Part 2

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 13:23:00 +0000

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and Eleanor Johnson continue the discussion on human relating Why is love not an emotion or feeling? Why is hate not at all like love and yet often contained within our love for others or another? What can we learn about our enemies by understanding love and hate?

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 7: Love & Hate Part 1

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 03 Jan 2019 16:57:00 +0000

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and Eleanor Johnson. What are these two great categories of human relating? What are they about and are they biological? Why is love not an emotion or feeling? Why is hate not at all like love and yet often contained within our love for others or another? What can we learn about our enemies by understanding love and hate?

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 6: Ourselves & Others

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Fri, 28 Dec 2018 12:55:00 +0000

What allows us to feel comfortable in ourselves with others? What does it mean to feel like we "belong"? Can we do this without creating an "other" and without setting up an enemy, even though we may feel envious, jealous, ashamed, or self-conscious about our situation or status? Can we move through our outrage or rage without creating more humiliation and outrage?

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 5: Emotions & Feelings Part 2

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 21:17:00 +0000

In Part 2, Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and Eleanor Johnson talk especially about the two great categories of human emotions — primary emotions (that we are born with) and secondary emotions that develop to allow us to compare and protect ourselves in human groups, especially our families and close others. Deep dive into envy, jealousy, gratitude, guilt and shame and the insights they bring. Nobody is free of these feelings; the formula is eternal and it’s vital to understand that EVERYONE is motivated by them.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 4: Emotions & Feelings Part 1

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 11 Oct 2018 19:45:00 +0000

Human emotions are complex and widely called “feelings” when much of what we call our “feelings” are actually our opinions, our preferences, our ideals, and the stories that we repeatedly tell ourselves about what’s going within the interactive process we call “self.” In this two part episode we will talk about what emotions are and how the dangerous cycle of humiliation and rage can get going between individuals and groups in a way that leads to war and destruction, and prevents resolving conflicts. We will talk especially about the two great categories of human emotions — primary emotions (that we are born with) and secondary emotions that develop to allow us to compare and protect ourselves in human groups, especially our families and close others.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 3: Conflict

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Fri, 21 Sep 2018 13:04:00 +0000

What is the meaning of conflict? Why do the exact same conflicts often recur repeatedly and not lead to any solutions? In this episode, we will deconstruct the roots of conflict and see why conflicts are so repetitive, and why and how unity has to enter into the encounter or relationship in order for problems to resolve.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 2: Why Enemies?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Thu, 13 Sep 2018 15:42:00 +0000

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and Eleanor Johnson explore their reasons for starting a podcast: the major reason is to be able to hold hope a forum and a space in which we can explore from each our own perspectives the roots of war and peace. Polly starts with the family and the unconscious tendency to “other” someone — to find someone to blame when things go wrong. Eleanor starts with the big issues left from the last century: is peace possible? what is democracy? do we have to have the massive destructive wars (of the 20th century) again? We want our listeners to know why we are doing this and to join in our conversation.

ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 1: Why do we need enemies?

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and friends — Fri, 07 Sep 2018 20:24:00 +0000

Join Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and Eleanor Johnson in their new podcast about ENEMIES. EPISODE 1: Why do we need enemies? From intimate relationships to politics, tribalism, and community, we cannot seem to stop dehumanizing each other. Are chronic conflicts in our families, societies, and nations inevitable? In this podcast, we analyze human hostilities from the most mundane to the most sophisticated as we apply psychology, psychoanalysis, art, spirituality, and relational theory in conversations about belonging and othering in our relationships and ideologies. Each program will reach for a fresh wisdom that shows us how to step back from creating enemies in our lives.