Tell The Others

32. The KEY mindset shift for parenting challenging kids

Heidi Rogers — Wed, 12 Feb 2025 03:00:00 +0000

Why are we triggered when our kids "copy bad behavior"?

It has a lot to do with the stories we tell ourselves about the way they're acting.

If we shift our perspective just slightly, we can reduce conflict AND build the emotional regulation muscle in our children.

Here's what Heidi covers in this podcast, taken from a live Q&A call in her parenting program:

• Why the stories we tell ourselves can increase conflict with our kids
• The hidden reason why our bodies switch to 'fight-or-flight' when we think we're being manipulated
• What our children *actually* need when it seems like they're *choosing* difficult behavior

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

At the end, you'll receive a free, in-depth report containing a bunch of insights and helpful strategies to meet their unique needs!

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If you find this episode helpful, please don't forget to rate and subscribe.

It helps grow the channel and reach more people who need the unique tools for navigating parenthood with a strong-willed or neurodivergent child

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Connect With Me

YouTube: https://heidilinks.com/pod-yt
Facebook: https://heidilinks.com/pod-fb
Instagram: https://heidilinks.com/pod-ig
Speaking events: https://heidilinks.com/pod-speaking

31. Try Different, Not Harder: A New Take On ADHD Parenting

Heidi Rogers — Sat, 18 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000

What if the secret to parenting an ADHD child isn’t trying harder—but trying differently?

It makes sense when you think about it.

ADHD brains are wired differently, and so are their challenges. ADHD coach Sharon Collon shares her journey from chaos to calm and how you can tailor solutions to your family’s unique needs.

After spending over $30,000 in her son's first year post-diagnosis and developing an autoimmune condition from burnout, Sharon discovered that success comes not from trying harder, but from trying *differently*.

In this episode of Tell The Others, Heidi and Sharon dive deep into the surprising strategies that work for ADHD families while avoiding shame and overwhelm.

Transform your approach to daily life with systems designed for ADHD brains.
Discover why traditional parenting advice fails ADHD families and what actually works.
Uncover the real reasons behind ADHD behaviors and how to address them.

Timecodes

00:00 - Introducing Sharon Collon.

01:33 - Sharon's ADHD origin story.

07:54 - The gift of lived experience.

17:05 - What is ADHD coaching?

25:17 - One-handed systems.

38:44 - Working with your brain.

41:50 - Five ADHD parenting tips.

52:37 - Connection over correction.

1:04:54 - Limiting beliefs about ADHD.

1:11:05 - How to take action.

About Sharon

Sharon is an award winning, credentialed ADHD Coach, Consultant & Parent Expert (who is families trained). She is passionate about helping people with ADHD understand how their brain works and creating joyful, functional lives with ADHD. She loves anything that makes life easier with ADHD!

Her husband and her three sons all have ADHD (throw in some Tourettes, ODD, OCD, SPD and SLD too).

As well as Sharon's lived experience, she has been researching ADHD for over 15 years, studied at ADDCA in New York and the International Coaching Federation.

Sharon has runs on the board, assisting over 35,000 families since The Functional Family was created. Sharon has won multiple awards including Business Awards - Outstanding Education Service, AusMumpreneur - Disabled Business Excellence, People's Choice Leadership, People's Choice Making a Difference and the Cook's Community Award.

Learn more about Sharon's membership, ADHD & Families Program, and free resources -> https://www.thefunctionalfamily.com/work-with-me

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

30. The real reason strong-willed, 'defiant' kids don't listen

Heidi Rogers — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 02:00:00 +0000

Ever feel like your SPICY kid is allergic to the word "no"?

They're actually wired to struggle with three things that make it *look* like they're being difficult 'on purpose' (when it's really just their brain asking for help).

Tune in for a perspective shift to help you parent with less stress and more connection.

Explore why spicy kids struggle with “no” (and how to set boundaries that stick).
Understand why connection is like oxygen for them, and what you can do about it.
Learn the SPICY framework that’s transformed thousands of families around the world.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

29. Prism Parents Q&A: "I'd Rather Die Than Go To The Dentist"

Heidi Rogers — Wed, 20 Nov 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Dental anxiety isn't just about teeth — it's also about feeling powerless.

It's a topic I covered on a recent Prism Perspective call.

Tune in to learn...

• How to help your child understand their anxiety

• Simple strategies to make dental visits less traumatic

• Why lying about pain backfires (and what to say instead)

• Ways to empower your child with choice and control

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

28. Does Everyone Need Therapy?

Heidi Rogers — Sun, 13 Oct 2024 22:00:00 +0000

'Does everyone need therapy?'

It's kind of like asking 'does everyone need deodorant'?

Not strictly.

BUT...

Do you remember your last train ride on a summer day?

Or that Uber trip? Or the customs line at the airport?

Yechh...

The sights, the sounds... the... smells.

Body odor (and lack of deodorant!) in a small space is kind of like our emotional struggles and unresolved traumas.

Both have an impact on the people around us, and we often don't even realize it!

The thing to remember is that therapy benefits everyone, not just people with severe trauma.

And one of the best things we can do for our children is investing in our own mental health.

By addressing our own issues, we create a healthier, more stable environment for our family to thrive in.

Join me on this hot take to find out why, and learn what you can do about it.

Timecodes

00:00 - Misconceptions about therapy
00:54 - Therapy as a family gift
01:23 - Understanding childhood trauma
01:58 - Recognizing personal trauma
02:56 - Addressing childhood beliefs
03:50 - Benefits for everyone

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

27. Why Your Parenting Style Isn’t Working Anymore

Heidi Rogers — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 12:00:00 +0000

I don't know about you, but I like to imagine parenting as a marathon, not a sprint ‍♀️

But it's hard to think long-term when every day feels like a race to the finish line.

It's like the parenting version Groundhog Day...

…we roll into bed exhausted, disconnected, frustrated, and anxious because we KNOW we're only hours away from doing it all again

So, here's a little secret…

By making small changes to the way we parent each day, the wins start to rack up - fast.

And in the process, we create a beautiful legacy for future generations.

That's how you become a cycle breaker - by modelling a new way of parenting for your children, your grandchildren and beyond.

So where do we start? A great place is learning how to fill your child's 'buckets'.

This builds a solid foundation of love and understanding while preparing them to be amazing parents themselves one day.

Unpack the buckets analogy with me to learn the 3 tools you can use to help your child feel 'ok', connected and respected (which leads to better behavior and greater emotional regulation!).

Timestamps
00:00 - Introduction
00:19 - What are the buckets?
04:45 - Being a cycle breaker
05:23 - The source of resistance
06:56 - The buckets: breakdown
08:37 - The source of power struggles

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

26. My Teen's 3am Phone Obsession

Heidi Rogers — Thu, 05 Sep 2024 03:00:00 +0000

If you're battling your teenager over late-night phone sessions, you're not alone!

In this episode, Heidi shares why phone and tech boundaries are especially tricky for strong-willed and neurodivergent kids (you know - the SPICY children who don't respond to 'traditional' parenting techniques ).

Learn how to identify what's really driving their behavior and unpack strategies for compromise that work for everyone.

Here's the question Heidi received for Q&A from a mom in the Prism Perspective community:

"My 13-year-old SPICY child thinks she should be able to determine her bedtime, which would be anywhere up to 3am if I let her on school nights.

"When do we enforce a ‘phones off’ policy with a SPICY child?"

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

25. Self-compassion: that’s just self-pity, right?

Heidi Rogers — Tue, 27 Jun 2023 13:00:00 +0000

When we're trying to improve our emotional wellbeing, we usually focus on the present or the future.

But what if the key to healing and feeling ‘whole’ is actually in our past?

That's where reparenting comes in.

Reparenting is about connecting with and caring for your inner child—the part of you that holds the memories and feelings from your early experiences.

Sound a little ‘woo woo’... or… maybe super-interesting?

Either way, this deep-dive coaching session with Leigh (one of our team members) will give you tonnes of insight into reparenting, understanding and practicing self-compassion, and breaking the glass of what we think we know about ourselves.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

24. They have no clue what it’s like to parent a SPICY child... but they’re the first in line to give you advice

Heidi Rogers — Mon, 19 Jun 2023 11:00:00 +0000

Parenting a SPICY child is often lonely, exhausting, isolating and overwhelming.

I know because I have a SPICY child myself, and I see ya’ll in private practice every week

We live in a society that says children should all fit into a neat little box of behavior and personality… and if they don’t… well… it must be the parents’ fault!

But most of society has no clue what it’s like to parent a SPICY child!

Join me as I break down some of the myths surrounding self-compassion, and why making it a habit will forever change your life (like, in a positive way! ).

There’s also a little exercise at the end if you’d like to give this whole ‘self-compassion thing’ a try.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

23. Why is my child strong-willed and so difficult?! (AKA: 'Spicy')

Heidi Rogers — Tue, 30 Aug 2022 02:00:00 +0000

Heidi answers the following question in this episode:

"Hi Heidi, why doesn’t positive parenting work on my spicy 8 year old? My 10 year old is so different and much more dutiful, compliant and easy. My 8 year old is aggressive, violent and hates any talk about feelings. It feels like we are all walking eggshells. My husband yells and isn’t as patient as me, but I lose it too, as nothing seems to work. I could talk about feelings and validate the emotions of my 10 year old but Mr 8 hates any kind of emotional chat. Why is he like this?"

Heidi answers this question by discussing:

emotional regulation and how it's such a key issue for SPICY kids
the two main beliefs SPICY kids have about themselves
how needing choice, feeling anxious and angry outbursts are all interconnected
a discussion around the belief a lot of people have that these kids are choosing to be this way and are just disrespectful, strong willed and defiant
what to do and say when your child says 'I hate you!' or 'I'm running away!'

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

22. Therapy Isn’t The Only Pathway To Healing

Heidi Rogers — Fri, 12 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Ever wondered if transformation was possible for you, or if healing yourself was even an option outside of therapy?

I chatted with my colleague and fellow therapist, Tom Ahern this week, all about our journeys in self-healing and managing our mental health.

It was fascinating to dive deep into the topic and explore the idea that therapy isn’t the only route to self-healing (pretty wild - coming from two therapists!).

Some of the questions we discuss:

What does self-healing mean anyway?
Why do you call it an 'art'?
What do you know about self-healing?
What's your experience with self-healing?
How do you know it's effective?
How does therapy fit into the picture?
What would you say to someone who feels stuck and is having a hard time in their own self-healing?

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Connect with Tom

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tom.ahern
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tombahern
Medium: https://medium.com/@tom.ahern
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2shhVqM
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-mind-mate-podcast

Connect with Heidi

Instagram: www.instagram.com/heidirogers_
Facebook: www.facebook.com/heidirogers.hello
Website: www.heidirogers.com

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

21. Thinking positive won't make you happy

Heidi Rogers — Mon, 01 Aug 2022 03:00:00 +0000

One of the most common things people say to me is, "I know if I could just change my thinking and be more positive, then I’d be happy. I know it's my fault I'm unhappy because of the thoughts I choose".

If it were THAT simple and just 'thinking happy thoughts' was the key to everything, then the world would be a really happy place. But it's not, because it's not that simple.

Taking a 'bottom up approach' is a much easier way to find happiness.

When we begin the practice of noticing how we feel: the sensations in our body, our breathing, our heart rate… we can start to unlock the causes of our unhappiness.

In this podcast, I explain how to do this, and why it's so important.

Prioritizing the feelings in our body over the thoughts in our mind puts us on the fast-track to happiness.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

20. Should I have my child assessed? [ADHD, autism, PDA & more]

Heidi Rogers — Wed, 27 Jul 2022 04:00:00 +0000

I often hear from parents:

"My child’s teacher has recommended my son / daughter have an assessment to understand their behaviors a bit more. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I think a label will hurt them long-term and I don’t want them to be treated differently."

In this clip, I share my thoughts on this and provide some guidance around WHY an assessment may or may not be helpful.

I hope it helps!

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

19. How to promote a healthy body image in your children

Heidi Rogers — Fri, 24 Jun 2022 07:00:00 +0000

Join Heidi and Vanessa (a trauma therapist and Licensed Mental Health Social Worker) on their deep dive into all things body image, and how to find freedom in food.

Some of the topics covered:

What determines health?
What is body neutrality?
Easy ways to promote healthy body image to your kids
How to protect your kids from developing a negative body image
Labeling foods "good" or "bad"
Emotional eating, and what to do if you or another family member is doing it
The ideal meal time experience, and how meal environment impacts us
How fat phobia and diet culture impact us and our kids

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Connect with Vanessa

Instagram:
@vanessa_preston_

Website:
www.greenlifepsychology.com

CURIOUS Method registration:
https://pfnl.co/XZdeT

BFF Project:
https://greenlifepsychology.com/the-body-food-freedom-project/

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

18. How to parent a teenager who is 'isolating'

Heidi Rogers — Thu, 26 May 2022 05:00:00 +0000

I wanted to share a recent question I received in my parenting group about teenagers and their unique challenges.

It opened a HUGE can of worms as I honed in on the real issue behind this mom’s concerns - a loss of control.

Q: “My 17-year-old is staying in her room and isolating, not talking to us as much as she used to. I’m worried something is going on. Can you help?”

It’s such a classic scenario that can lead to feelings of rejection, sadness and a loss of control for parents.

But is ‘control’ the best way to parent?

Will it get them to confide in you when they’re under pressure to take drugs, have sex or engage in the kind of risk-taking activities that teens are wired to explore?

Or will it push them away?

If you’d like some insight into what’s ‘normal’ for teenagers (even if your kids aren’t there yet!) - and why we need to parent them differently - you won’t want to miss this answer from a recent Q&A call.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

17. Why does my child have anxiety when their life seems pretty easy?

Heidi Rogers — Thu, 12 May 2022 02:00:00 +0000

One of the common questions I hear in my private practice is ‘Why does my child have anxiety, especially when they have nothing to be stressed about?’

While it’s easy to view their anxiety as ‘attention seeking’ or ‘being dramatic’, the key message they need from us is: you are safe, and I can help you.

With that in mind, we need to reframe the way we view anxiety and understand how - and why - it shows up in our children.

Join me as I dive into the origins of anxiety, how it manifests in our own lives, and how we can extend more compassion (rather than annoyance) when our children are anxious.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

16. Heal Your Relationship With Dieting And Find Freedom In Food

Heidi Rogers — Thu, 03 Mar 2022 07:00:00 +0000

Mental Health Social Worker and nutritionist Vanessa Preston joins me to discuss the ways women are healing their relationship with their bodies and making room in their lives to pursue what's -actually- important to them.

Her online program, the Body And Food Freedom Project, has received rave reviews from my clients, my friends, and moms in my parenting program, and I'm super keen to share her message because I think it's so important for everyone to hear.

Vanessa's refreshing take on diet culture helps put to bed that voice that says we're somehow 'defective' because we're 'not perfect yet'.

Connect with Vanessa Preston:

Website: https://greenlifepsychology.com/the-body-food-freedom-project/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessa_preston_/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Vanessaprestonglp

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

15. Winning on Wall Street: Cultivating The Traits Of Success

Heidi Rogers — Sat, 12 Feb 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Being ‘successful’ is about more than luck. It often involves learning a trade, building relationships, and staying curious - even in the face of adversity and potential failure. Join Heidi as she speaks with Joe Titus, whose experience in the finance sector and on Wall St has taught him a thing or two about the essential personality traits to be successful in any area of life.

What to expect in the episode:

Is a career on Wall Street worth it?
Do you have to be smart to make a lot of money on Wall Street?
How does social interaction affect learning?
Do successful people have failures?
What makes a person successful?
The importance of self confidence for your success.
Aim high but start small. Why?
Why is failure essential to success?
What actually happens at Wall Street?
What qualities make a company a great place to work?

Show notes:

[01:40] Joe’s education

[03:57] What motivated him to study well

[07:21] When you’re having trouble finding a job

[09:41] How to succeed in life after failing badly

[10:43] Taking a step back is also part of personal growth

[12:46] How Joe became successful

[14:22] What matters most in choosing a career

[15:25] Why curiosity enhances learning

[17:28] Why it’s important to have a good working relationship with colleagues

[20:45] What most people think about Wall Street

[24:02] Choosing the right leadership styles

[33:31] How do you deal with a financial crisis

[37:16] The importance of doing what you love

[39:48] How we can modernize the education system

[41:22] Ways to make sports more affordable

Connect with Joe Titus:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joe-titus-a789768/

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

14. Coping Skills: What they are, and how to build them for ourselves AND our kids

Heidi Rogers — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 23:00:00 +0000

No matter how mentally healthy, resilient, or happy you are, we all go through times when we’re faced with something difficult. Join Heidi and guest Janine Halloran as they discuss the coping methods that suit unique personalities, and how to identify your own coping skills.

What to expect in the episode:

What is a coping skill, and why is it important?
How do parents implement coping skills?
In what ways can parents model good coping skills?
Coping skills change throughout your life. Why?
How to learn new coping skills that are best for you
Do people have different coping mechanisms?

Shownotes:

[01:56] How Janine started creating coping skills for kids
[04:00] The challenges therapists/moms face
[05:54] How parents often deal with anger and frustration
[06:52] Coping evolved at different times throughout life
[10:33] Showing respect to other people's ways of coping
[12:12] Do the same coping skills work for everyone?
[13:30] Categorizing coping skills
[19:02] Is it okay to use distraction as a coping skill?
[20:21] The importance of play in adulthood
[24:52] How to identify your unique coping skills
[25:41] Why it’s important to understand your personality
[26:35] Using social media to strengthen family bonds
[27:30] Should parents play video games with their kids?
[32:09] Mistakes are an important part of learning
[33:30] What to do when your child is a perfectionist
[34:30] Books to support children in making mistakes
[40:38] Every human is a work in progress
[42:37] What did coping skills look like in your home?
[45:13] Write your skills and make a plan

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Connect with Janine Halloran:

Website: https://copingskillsforkids.com/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/encourageplay/_created/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/copingskillsforkids

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/copingskillsforkids/

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

13. School refusal, helplessness and a light at the end of the tunnel

Heidi Rogers — Tue, 01 Feb 2022 20:00:00 +0000

One of the most common questions I get is from parents is - “how do I deal with a child who is refusing to go to school?”

If it's a 6 year old starting school, or a 12 year old not getting out of the car, or a 16 year old refusing to get out of bed….most parents can attest to the frustration and sadness that comes when your child refuses to go to school.

I have personal experience with this with my own kids, and I can feel it in my bones when another parent is sharing their painful drop off story: “he was biting me, she was punching me, she was laying on the floor sobbing and I just had no idea what to do, he had to be pulled off me, he has missed 3 months of school so far this year.”

I think it taps into our sense of helplessness as a parent….that deep knowing in those desperate moments. Parents have told me, ‘I actually can’t force them to do this. I can be patient and empathetic, and then if that doesn’t work, I can even try bribing, threatening, or shaming…but nothing works.’

It is exhausting to fight the battle of school every morning and often leaves the parents ALSO in tears, and an overwhelming sense of failure, frustration and sadness. I hear you!

That’s why on last night’s Q&A call, we spent the bulk of the call talking about school refusal, what to do, and how to handle it.

I called in some amazing colleagues and friends of mine, Kristi de Young, and Anne Muscatello to discuss it with me. Kristi spent around 15 years working as a school psychologist , and is now in private practice. She says on the call, that about 50% of her job as a school psych was in supporting students who didn’t want to be at school. It is SUCH a common occurrence, and we want you to know you are not alone!

Kristi shares her insight and wisdom when it comes to older kids, and Anne shares her tips for younger kids. Whatever age your child is, when it comes to school drop off, we got you covered in this call with all the brain science of whats actually going on in your child’s brain at drop off, what you can be doing to best support them, and the common mistakes we often make when it comes to drop offs.

I hope this call is helpful to you, and I want you to know that youre not alone in this, if you are battling every morning with a little person or a big person who just.does.not.want.to.go.

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Timecodes

[3:45] - Heidi's own school refusal experience
[5:01] - The question Heidi tackles
[9:55] - Leave quickly, or stay longer?
[11:30] - Changes in your child's brain during dropoff
[13:31] - What's the real goal of a drop-off?
[15:31] - How common is school refusal?
[17:38] - The feelings are real
[20:00] - What psychologists recommend with school refusal for older kids
[24:50] - Common pitfalls to avoid
[28:56] - Your role as a confident supporter

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

12. Grief, loss and cultivating a positive outlook after the death of a loved one

Heidi Rogers — Tue, 04 Jan 2022 03:00:00 +0000

The loss of a loved one creates a new kind of 'normal' and introduces us to a kind of suffering that we have never known.

Join me as I speak with special guest Brendan Murray as he opens up about his experiences with death and the loss of his parents. For anyone dealing with the loss of a loved one, Brendan shares some techniques to cope with grief and loss to help you get back to life.

What to expect from the episode:

Feelings and vulnerability in grief
How does losing someone you love affect you?
Describing the pain of losing someone
Cultivating a positive outlook after losing a loved one
Why is it hard to accept someone's death?
Do you ever recover from losing a loved one?
The power of choosing positive emotion
Negative mindsets: blame and regret will hold you back from being happy
How to train your brain to focus on what you can control
Techniques and goals for growth

Shownotes:

[02:37] What Heidi noticed about Brendan when his parents passed away
[05:04] How Brendan copes with grief and loss
[08:12] Is it true that “everything happens for a reason”?
[11:14] How do you reconcile grief?
[12:47] An analogy for explaining death
[15:10] Can you feel the presence of a loved one who passed away?
[19:19] You get to choose how you feel
[21:42] The importance of recognizing your emotions
[25:19] Describing the feeling of losing someone you love for the first time
[27:08] Does dealing with death get easier?
[33:57] Overcoming regret and self-blame
[37:25] The importance of focusing on what you can control
[45:05] “When you stop growing you start dying”
[48:13] Ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion
[49:41] Build momentum to create a force for good in your life
[51:17] Byron Katie's Four Questions
[55:20] Heidi's first Tony Robbins experience
[1:01:16] Tony Robbins’ work and its impact on Brendan and Heidi
[1:05:41] “Knowledge isn't power, execution is where the power lies”
[1:07:19] Opportunity to demonstrate change

Connect with Brendan

Website: https://halcyonpw.com.au/

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

11. Listening And Labeling: Learning About Ourselves And Why We Are 'The Way We Are'

Heidi Rogers — Thu, 16 Sep 2021 01:00:00 +0000

Heidi joins writer, podcaster and creator Tom Ahern in this wide ranging discussion on religion, psychedelics, ego, EMDR, toxic masculinity and the art of becoming a better listener.

What to expect from the episode:

What makes listening the most challenging skill to learn?
Ways to become a better listener
Why is validation important?
Why do some people not want to listen and seem to be just waiting for their turn to speak?
Why having an ego isn't always a bad thing
How can you help others in their own journey to self knowledge?
Psychedelic mushrooms
How does religion play a role in society?
How to deal with anger?

Show notes:

[03:15] Some experiences of Tom’s mind-blowing podcast with his guests
[08:15] What are the characteristics of an effective listener?
[10:24] The power and influence of mirroring behaviours
[11:10] Do people need to be validated?
[11:38] People don't really listen, they just wait for their turn to talk
[14:20] What is ego
[17:15] “I am…” - Establishing your sense of self
[18:54] What happens when we label ourselves?
[21:00] The influence of self perception and how it manifests in our daily lives
[24:58] Tom’s experience of identity formation
[29:24] Gender norms - mental health and toxic masculinity
[31:21] Tom's advice to his younger self
[43:25] Advice for anyone lacking motivation
[54:42] How mind expansion is simultaneously good and bad
[1:03:21] The feeling of being loved despite of your imperfections
[1:05:43] What makes someone a bad person?
[1:13:30] Argument: Different views of religions and beliefs
[1:16:08] Original sin - doctrine that says that everyone is born sinful
[1:20:21] Kids need to know appropriate ways to deal with their anger
[1:22:35] How to understand and recognize your anger

Connect with Tom:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tom.ahern
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tombahern
Medium: https://medium.com/@tom.ahern
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2shhVqM
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-mind-mate-podcast

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

10. Why Do We React The Way We Do? Understanding Polyvagal Theory With Justin Sunseri

Heidi Rogers — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 01:00:00 +0000

Ever wondered why you react the way you do? Or what's behind the quote 'mind-body connection'?

Join Heidi for the answers as she dives into Polyvagal Theory with Justin Sunseri of the Stuck Not Broken podcast. Justin shares his expertise on all things Polyvagal Theory, and explores the connection between our behaviors, emotions and the way we respond.

Here are the things to expect in the episode:

What is Polyvagal Theory and how is it used in therapy?
What are the benefits of Polyvagal Theory?
Polyvagal Theory: A new way of seeing yourself.
The human condition: We are all on a quest for trust and safety.
Understanding our body and brain how it responds to survive.
The role of co-regulation.
The life-changing power of therapy.
Why is it important to find the right therapist?
Bad experiences with therapists and how to recognize them.
Polyvagal Theory and how we can apply it to yoga and meditation.

Show notes:

Justin's introduction and his therapy practices. [1:26]
When was Justin's interest in Polyvagal Theory started? [3:00]
What is Justin's first impression of Polyvagal Theory? [5:00]
Why do teachers and parents need to know about trauma? [7:08]
What is the Polyvagal Theory in simple terms? [8:56]
Understanding why Polyvagal Theory is important. [11:38]
How Justin explains polyvagal to his clients. [12:55]
Explaining Polyvagal Theory to people should be simple. [19:01]
The most common responses of people to sexual assault. [21:31]
Polyvagal's gift. [26:33]
Co-regulation: Definition and examples. [36:53]
The power of therapy and a good therapist - magical to many people. [41:45]
How to recognize a bad therapist. [51:36]
Client-therapist relationships and expectations. [53:05]
Encouragement to those dealing with emotional dysregulation. [56:57]
The benefits of being well-regulated. [1:03:37]

Connect with Justin:
Website: https://www.justinlmft.com/about
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justinlmft/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JustinLMFT

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

09. Online Parenting Program Or 1-On-1 With Heidi: Which Is Better?

Heidi Rogers — Sun, 22 Aug 2021 10:00:00 +0000

If you're contemplating booking Heidi for a 1-on-1 session OR you can't decide whether her parenting program is right for you, then you don't want to miss this.

Heidi walks you through the program and how it works, helps you understand whether it's a good fit, and lays out what you need to do get the most out of it when you join.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

08. Why This Lockdown FEELS Like The Worst Yet ... And What You Can Do About It

Heidi Rogers — Wed, 11 Aug 2021 05:00:00 +0000

It feels like this lockdown has been the most damaging to our collective mental health since the beginning of the pandemic.

The number of clients I’m seeing with increased anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation is off the charts.

So many people are either resuming anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication, or starting it for the first time.

My waitlist is the highest it has ever been, and every therapist I know is in the same situation.

We simply cannot keep up with demand as rolling lockdowns take their toll.

What makes an already challenging situation worse?

The way we treat ourselves, how we judge our responses, criticize our lack of capacity and motivation, and how we aren’t ‘doing enough’.

So many of my clients are unmotivated and scolding themselves for being ‘lazy’.

For not ‘using the time better’ and learning guitar. For living a life that looks nothing like the ones they see when they’re scrolling through Instagram or Facebook.

A lot of the way we feel comes from the hard wiring of our nervous system and how our brain is conditioned to respond to stress.

Instead of pushing against this wiring, I’d like to introduce an alternative approach, where you learn how to understand your mind to start feeling better about lockdown life.

In this recent Q&A call from my parenting program, I dive into why we're so exhausted and how to survive this extraordinarily challenging time.

I hope it helps you cultivate more self-compassion and contributes to a greater sense of wellbeing for you AND your family.

We’re all in this together.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

07. Have A Child Who Demands More Parental Attention Than Others?

Heidi Rogers — Sun, 01 Aug 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Cancer. Depression. Prison. Anxiety. Anorexia. Addiction. Autism Spectrum.

No matter the illness, diagnosis, or challenging behavior… when a family has a child who demands more parental attention than others, it can cause lifelong damage to family relationships – IF – parents don’t take steps to validate the experience and acknowledge the needs of the siblings.

Parents I’ve worked with in the past have told me that being the parent of a child who is unwell or has challenging behaviors is “overwhelming and often feels impossible to get it ‘right’. I need to be there for him constantly, and as a result, I feel like I neglect his sisters”.

I’ll hear things like:

“If I’m not in hospital with her, I want to be sleeping or with my other kids. But when I’m at home, I feel guilty I’m not in the hospital.”

Or:

“His explosive meltdowns are so deafening it’s like the entire family must revolve around him. Everything is a drama for him, so we’re constantly devoting 80% of our attention just to manage and try to prevent an outburst.”

I’ve worked with clients who either were the ‘sick kid’ or the sibling of a child who was sick / needing a lot of parental attention.

The common stories for both revolve around frustration, anger and shame.

If a primary caregiver is regularly absent or preoccupied because they’re caring for a child who requires a lot of attention, it often breeds resentment and fuels feelings of abandonment for other children in the family.

Those feelings of anger are so complex to navigate. The child often feels shame for being angry at their sick sibling.

The key thing is to understand that kids gauge our love based on how much time we spend with them.

If you have a child who requires a significant amount of your attention, either because they’re unwell, or are challenging, and suspect this scenario may be playing out in your household, then you don’t want to miss this Q&A call.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

06. You can’t banish anxiety, but you CAN do this…

Heidi Rogers — Sun, 04 Jul 2021 03:00:00 +0000

If you’re human, there’s a 100% guarantee that you’ve experienced anxiety at some time in your life.

If you’re in the minority, you probably don’t feel its effects all that much. Lucky for you!

But if you’re in the majority, anxiety can feel like an uninvited guest that shows up EVERYWHERE, sucking the joy out of life.

While we can never fully rid ourselves of anxiety, we can learn to manage it.

The problem is the majority of us don’t know how to manage anxiety.

We all were raised by rookies who were doing the best they could, but most of our parents have un-diagnosed depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other mental health issues.

They TOO were raised by rookies… but the bottom line is that for most of us, nobody has ever taught us how to manage anxiety.

I want to share this snippet from a Q&A call with one of my students, who asked the question:

How does anxiety effect long-term mental health issues?

In it, I dive into how anxiety works, its short-and-long-term impacts, and the benefits of managing our own anxiety in conjunction with that of our children.

I hope you find a nugget or two in there to help you!

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

05. I Never Knew I Had An Anger Management Problem Until I Had Kids

Heidi Rogers — Sat, 26 Jun 2021 10:00:00 +0000

I remember when my eldest daughter was nearly two years old, and I was adjusting to having a newborn and a toddler, I found this rage within me that I had never experienced before. It scared me.

I reached out to my high school friend Karina (who has three boys a bit older than my kids) and I will never forget what she told me.

Karina said, “Heidi, you’re totally normal. I never knew I had an anger management problem until I had kids.”

Do you ever ‘lose it’ with your kids?

Or have that rage that sneaks up on you and feels impossible to stop?

If you share this in common with Karina and I... please know that you’re not alone.

This is a snippet from a recent Q&A call with one of my students who asked ‘I get so angry with my kids - I can’t see it coming and I can’t make it stop.’

The good news is there are a few quick techniques you can implement to cool things off and prevent yourself from erupting (over and over and over ... and over again…).

Listen in on my advice for managing explosive anger and a shout out to one of my favorite books of all time on the topic - one that's transformed my relationship with anger.

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

04. Climbing back from the brink with Kevin Berthia

Heidi Rogers — Mon, 18 May 2020 06:00:00 +0000

After my interview with first responder, Sergeant Kevin Briggs, I KNEW I had to track down Kevin Berthia, 'the man on the bridge', to hear more of his story.

Listen in as Kevin shares his story of adoption, loneliness, helplessness, love, hope and self-worth - all punctuated by his very-public attempted suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge.

Berthia made international headlines in 2005 when that gut-wrenching 90-minute ordeal went viral (Google 'Kevin Berthia' to see the harrowing photo). Find out why it took YEARS after the attempt to finally find hope.

This episode was powerful - prepare to be inspired. The discussion tackles toxic masculinity, the issues around men showing emotion, why men suppress their feelings, and what Kevin wishes others had done to help support him when he was suicidal.

Kevin is a sought-after public speaker and a passionate advocate for suicide prevention, acting as a example that depression recovery is possible for everyone.

Keep up-to-date with Kevin's advocacy work here:
https://twitter.com/KevinBerthia
https://www.facebook.com/kevin.berthia.7
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-berthia-980519a7/

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

03. Suicide Prevention and Crisis Negotiation With Sergeant Kevin Briggs

Heidi Rogers — Sun, 10 May 2020 20:46:14 +0000

Heidi speaks with retired California Highway Patrolman Kevin Briggs (aka: The Guardian of the Golden Gate Bridge) about his suicide prevention work, his time as a crisis negotiator, managing depression on the job, talking people back from the edge, and his post-CHiPS life. This fascinating look at the life and work of Sergeant Briggs is the first in Heidi’s new podcast series, Tell The Others.

Learn more about Sergeant Briggs and his work:

http://www.pivotal-points.com/
http://www.facebook.com/PivotalPoints
https://twitter.com/pivotalpts
kevinbriggs@pivotal-points.com

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

02: Harnessing the Power of Breath With Siobhan Macleod

Heidi Rogers — Tue, 21 Apr 2020 21:00:00 +0000

Meet breathwork guru and founder of The Breathwork Shed, Siobhan Macleod. Heidi and Siobhan explore the benefits of breathwork on the body, heart and mind and uncover the why behind the practice.

Get a Breathwork 101 lesson and discover why Siobhan and so many others can’t live without this amazing practice.

Learn more about Siobhan’s work:

https://thebreathworkshed.wixsite.com/website
https://www.instagram.com/the.breathwork.shed/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Breathwork-Shed/2303012363119904
https://www.linkedin.com/in/siobhan-macleod-8b3825147/?originalSubdomain=au

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*

01: Beating Cancer and Refreshing Your Mindset With Yasmin Gaté

Heidi Rogers — Tue, 07 Apr 2020 15:00:00 +0000

Art teacher and Tiny Cupboard Creatives founder Yaz Gaté talks beating cancer in 2019, finding purpose in life, developing a new mindset around risk, using art to connect with refugees and the amazing healing power of therapy and personal development.

More from Yaz:

https://www.instagram.com/tiny_cupboard_creatives/
https://www.youtube.com/c/TinyCupboardCreatives

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Strong-willed child at home? Discover just how S.P.I.C.Y. they are with this quick, 5-minute quiz *https://heidilinks.com/quiz-pod*