Doing the Work

Afterword for Doing the Work

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 10:10:10 +0000

This Pathwork Guide quote offers a beautiful final frame for why these personal stories matter. These are not the stories of two people who have escaped difficulty, but of two people who have learned to work through it.

They don't magically avoid falling into the hole; they learn to recognize it and work their way out together.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

16 Turn over a new leaf | Unity

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 10:05:45 +0000

Jill shares how decades of exploring different paths and practices gradually helped her develop a clearer, more trustworthy connection with her inner guidance—and how doing this work has changed the way she shows up in every part of her life. Scott describes uncovering a profound inner split around trust, rooted in his childhood relationship with his parents, and how facing the terrifying contradiction at its core has begun to quiet the turmoil inside him and bring him closer to a sense of wholeness.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

15 Emptying out the well | Tears

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 10:01:24 +0000

Jill shares how she spent years resisting tears, until a powerful experience in a workshop showed her that crying wasn’t the problem—it was the doorway back to herself. Scott describes slowly breaking through a wall of grief over his mother’s illness and death, and his astonishing discovery that beneath the hard pain he had feared was a pure, deeply alive sorrow he could finally allow himself to feel.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

14 There’s a hole in my bucket | Trust

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:54:58 +0000

Jill shares how she learned to trust a quiet inner voice enough to leave a secure career, sell her home and move without knowing what would come next—and how a series of smaller leaps prepared her for that larger one. Scott tells of taking a leap of faith that led to the collapse of his business, finances and marriage, only to discover that the real lesson was learning to distinguish true inner guidance from a voice he had mistaken for it.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

13 It’s time for a break | Crisis

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:47:23 +0000

Jill shares her lifelong pendulum between feeling she didn’t deserve much and spending too freely to prove her worth, and how learning to trust that she is enough has gradually changed her relationship with money. Scott looks back at a painful r

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contentsupture with his family and the years it took to recognize how his own hidden defenses and need to be validated contributed to the storm he once believed was happening only to him.

12 Making our way home | Doing the Work

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:43:46 +0000

Jill shares what it was like to spend more than a decade living between two worlds: a demanding corporate career on one side and an increasingly deep commitment to her spiritual path on the other. Scott describes discovering the spiral-like rhythm of his inner work, learning that the painful downward phases were not something to escape but necessary passages that reliably brought him back up with greater wisdom.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

11 What are we fighting for? | The Big-L Lower Self

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:41:00 +0000

Jill shares how feeling ignored and unsupported in her work with the Pathwork teachings stirred up a powerful hatred toward the organization—and how she came to see that letting go of her hate was ultimately about freeing herself from its destructiveness. Scott describes an astonishing encounter with his own stubborn “I. WILL. NOT.” while trying to complete a simple inner-work exercise, revealing just how fiercely a hidden part of him could resist what he consciously wanted.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

10 I spy with my little eye | The Little-L Lower Self

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:37:52 +0000

Jill shares how, despite decades of self-development work, her young inner self repeatedly ran off during the first months of her relationship with Scott—and how learning to stay present with the hurt instead of blaming him changed everything. Scott describes the frustration of repeatedly falling into the same old patterns, and how having a partner who could notice when he was “hiding” helped him break out of those unconscious loops and bring more of himself into the relationship.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

9 Come out, come out, wherever you are | Hiding

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:34:09 +0000

Jill explores the paradox of wanting deeply to be seen while also hiding behind a mask, even discovering an almost literal version of this in her lifelong relationship with mascara. Scott shares how a moment of shame at work exposed his unconscious need to appear completely competent, and how learning to recognize when he needed help became an important part of his inner work.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

8 My favorite f-word | Fighting, Fawning or Fleeing

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:30:03 +0000

Jill explores her tendency to withdraw when her feelings are hurt, especially in her relationship with Scott, and what happens when she learns to stay present with the vulnerable parts of herself instead of running away. Scott shares his surprising discovery that, despite initially thinking he was a strong-willed type, his primary defense was actually emotional—and how recognizing the ways he had been trying to force life to be different became an important part of his work.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

7 So you’re the rubber and I’m the glue? | Our Work

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:26:06 +0000

Jill shares how looking closely at her recurring experiences of being seen—and not being seen—helped her uncover a deep inner split rooted in childhood. Scott describes discovering a surprising belief he had carried since his mother’s illness and death: that if he truly looked at life, she would die, and how bringing this hidden belief into awareness began to free him from its grip.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

6 Praying for a toehold | Truth

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:23:06 +0000

Jill shares a moment when being overlooked at work triggered an old wound around not being seen, and how praying to know the truth helped her recognize what was really happening. Scott tells of being stranded outside an airport in Jakarta after being denied boarding, and how the experience exposed his conflicting needs to feel special, seen and loved—giving him an opportunity to meet those younger parts of himself with greater maturity.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

5 Would I rather be right or happy? | Duality

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:20:16 +0000

Jill shares the painful end of her ten-year marriage, when she found herself caught between two choices that both seemed destined to hurt. Scott describes how taking on a major leadership role revealed that his workplace was mirroring his own inner conflicts—and how looking honestly at those reflections helped him recognize a split between compassion and firmness that was affecting the people around him.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

4 I’m totally fine, I feel nothing | Numbness

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:16:47 +0000

Jill shares how the devastating death of her young niece, Sarah, broke through a numbness she had lived with for years and ultimately opened the door to a much deeper spiritual path. Scott describes discovering, during his first Pathwork group process, just how deeply he had frozen his feelings—and the long, deliberate practice it took to learn how to truly feel them again.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

3 Building castles in the sky | Reality

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:13:36 +0000

Jill and Scott revisit their difficult ski trip and share what they discovered beneath the surface of what seemed to be a simple disconnect between them. Jill describes recognizing how deeply her old wound around emotional unavailability was affecting her, while Scott explores his own pattern of retreating inward when he feels abandoned—and how they learned to recognize these patterns and find their way back to connection.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

2 Living in a 100-story house | The Setup

Phoenesse — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:07:49 +0000

Jill shares how a lifelong story about being overlooked as a woman was triggered during an early ski trip with Scott, causing her to feel once again that something was fundamentally wrong with her. Scott tells the same story from his perspective, revealing how his own inner reaction and tendency to withdraw unintentionally activated Jill’s old wound—and how both of them were caught in their own stories without seeing what was really happening.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

1 Step, together, step | The Process

Phoenesse — Thu, 27 Aug 2026 09:01:25 +0000

Jill shares how entering recovery from alcoholism at age 26 became the beginning of a deeper journey toward self-knowledge and a relationship with something greater than herself. Scott tells how his relentless pursuit of becoming an Ironman ultimately broke his body open, forcing him to look beneath his drive to understand what was really motivating him—and what it meant to heal on every level.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents

Introduction for Doing the Work

Phoenesse — Wed, 26 Aug 2026 08:47:20 +0000

Doing the Work briefly introduces key Pathwork topics you will face if you want to do this deep work of self-discovery. Then Jill and Scott bring the Pathwork to life through personal stories and examples from their own journey with these teachings.

Listen to Doing the Work

Return to Doing the Work Contents