Get Out of Porn Podcast

Ep. 50: Grounding for the Spouse

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 16 Dec 2023 17:21:02 +0000

One of the hardest parts of healing from porn addiction is helping the spouse heal from the betrayal and emotional wounds. To do so, they need ways to ground themselves emotionally. In this episode, Joe discusses how they can do so.

Ep. 49: Withdrawal Symptoms

Joe Wilkie — Mon, 27 Nov 2023 20:01:27 +0000

It this week's episode, Joe takes a look at common withdrawal symptoms to porn addiction and how to handle them.

Ep. 48: Confession

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 18 Nov 2023 22:06:14 +0000

In this episode, Joe discusses how to confess a relapse, specifically after a long period of sobriety. In it, he shares specific tips on eating the frog, maintaining a positive sense of self, and more.

Ep. 47: NNN & Finding Motivation

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 04 Nov 2023 11:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe discusses finding motivation wherever possible to get out of the addiction including engaging in November's 'No Nut November.'

Ep. 46: The Day to Day Life of a Porn Addict

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 15:16:58 +0000

In this episode, Joe examines what each day looks like as an addict, a person just getting sober, a person six months sober, and a person 10 years sober. How is the day structured differently? What sort of things are done each day? How does the day of a man who is 10 years sober differ from the man just getting sober? Each question and more is answered.

Ep. 45: Middle Circle Behaviors

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 09 Sep 2023 11:00:00 +0000

Those familiar with the 12-step program will understand outer, middle, and inner circle behaviors. In this episode, Joe defines middle circle behaviors and talks about potential behaviors for porn addicts to avoid. He also discusses microcosms and how the little things in your life tell much bigger stories.

Ep. 44: Rebuilding Trust

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 26 Aug 2023 19:21:42 +0000

One of the hardest parts about sobriety is rebuilding trust with your significant other after you've been caught or have come clean. In this episode, Joe talks about how to rebuild trust and gives advice to the addict and to the wounded partner.

Ep. 43: Replacing Porn, Becoming Better

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 12 Aug 2023 17:46:20 +0000

In this episode, Joe talks about the need to find a positive replacement for porn with the new found time, energy, and money that often accompanies sobriety. It's not enough to just quit porn. Sobriety must come with positive life changes.

Ep. 42: The Role of the Mother

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 05 Aug 2023 16:57:59 +0000

In a recent episode, Joe discussed the role of the father in a son's porn addiction. In this episode, Joe examines the role of the mother including struggles with overbearing mothers, how a mom can best support her son, and how the addict must learn to love him or herself.

Ep. 41: Masculinity Matters

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 29 Jul 2023 16:45:23 +0000

Our society has created a pendulum for men that swings between the woke fear of "toxic masculinity" and finding our masculinity in our high libido or in things like big trucks and country music. We struggle to know what true masculinity looks like and how it can help us get out of porn. In this episode, Joe takes a look at how pursuing manhood and masculinity can help us better our relationship with ourselves and thus help us find freedom.

Ep. 40: The Importance of Fathers

Joe Wilkie — Sun, 23 Jul 2023 02:11:05 +0000

We know how important positive attachment with your parents is when it comes to porn addiction, but there's a special importance placed on fathers in particular. In this episode, Joe discusses actions to take if you are the addict who has a poor relationship with your father as well as if you're the father who is looking to help your son.

Ep. 39: Handling Criticism

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 08 Jul 2023 11:00:00 +0000

In your sobriety, it's common for your wife, girlfriend, parents, friends, or others to criticize or fail to believe in your sobriety. This can trigger us to act out if we're not careful. In this episode, Joe discusses how to appropriately handle criticism and stay present with those criticizing your efforts.

Ep. 38: Nature Vs. Nurture

Joe Wilkie — Sun, 02 Jul 2023 03:17:56 +0000

It's the age-old question in psychology: Is this problem more due to nature or nurture? In this episode, Joe discusses whether porn addiction and its roots are more due to nature or nurture.

Ep. 37: Intentionality

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 17 Jun 2023 14:02:19 +0000

In this episode, Joe talks about the three hydras of recovery and how living intentionally solves each.

Ep. 36: Trauma Techniques

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 10 Jun 2023 15:37:51 +0000

In this week's episode, Joe takes a look at some of the best trauma techniques to help you process through your trauma.

Ep. 35: Defining Trauma

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 03 Jun 2023 11:00:00 +0000

What is Big "T" vs. Little "T" trauma? What is complex PTSD? What if I don't have any major traumas and yet I'm still addicted to porn? In this episode, Joe answers all of these questions and more.

Ep. 34: The Unforgivable Sin

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 27 May 2023 11:00:00 +0000

In this week's episode, Joe talks about the unforgivable sin pertaining to porn addiction. Your mind might run to horrible types of pornography or certain sexual acts, but it is none of those things. It has to do with the heart.

Ep. 33: Common Myths

Joe Wilkie — Sun, 21 May 2023 05:48:13 +0000

Joe is back with another episode on eight common myths many believe concerning pornography addiction, especially those in Christianity. Working through these unhelpful myths are key to overcoming the addiction.

Ep. 32: Advice to the Unmarried

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 06 May 2023 11:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe gives advice to the unmarried porn addict, the unmarried non-addict, and the significant other of a porn addict.

Ep. 31: The Disconnect Between the Head and Heart

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 29 Apr 2023 11:00:00 +0000

Have you ever known something without actually knowing it? You logically grasp it, but you fail to feel it. In this episode, Joe discusses the disconnect addicts often have between knowing something and failing to feel the truth of it.

Ep. 30: Definitions - Part 2

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 22 Apr 2023 16:10:11 +0000

In this episode, Joe explains more terms concerning sex addiction including future tripping, recovery, and trauma.

Ep. 29: Definitions - Part 1

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 08 Apr 2023 21:31:34 +0000

In this episode, Joe looks to define terms that he regularly uses but that some listeners may not understand. What does "Dysregulation" mean or "Foundation"? Those terms and a few more are defined in this part-1 episode.

Ep. 28: Masturbation

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 31 Mar 2023 11:00:00 +0000

Is masturbation wrong? This is a common (yet taboo) question among teens and adults alike, especially in Christian circles. Everyone knows porn is wrong, but what about masturbation? In this episode, Joe discusses why it's wrong and what someone can do to get help to stop.

Ep. 27: Attunement

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 17 Mar 2023 18:08:02 +0000

Do you listen to your betrayed spouse when they are triggered or do you find yourself becoming defensive or detaching emotionally? In this episode, Joe discusses attuning to your spouse and truly listening to them in order to understand them.

Ep. 26: Codependency

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 10 Mar 2023 12:00:00 +0000

When discussing addiction, you'll often hear about codependency and how addicts will take advantage of enablers in their life in their codependent marriage and relationships. But what about when an addict is the emotionally available and enabling one? In this episode, Joe discusses how many porn addicts actually seek codependent relationships where they fail to set boundaries with others.

Ep. 25: Porn and Testosterone

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 19:22:32 +0000

We know porn affects our mental and emotional health, but it also affects us physically. In this episode, Joe looks at pornography addiction's effect on testosterone in men.

Ep. 24: Women and Porn Use

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 24 Feb 2023 12:00:00 +0000

The statistics concerning porn use among women are eye-opening. Over 50% of teen girls are seeking out porn at least once a month. In this episode, Joe discusses the stats and why women run to porn.

Ep. 23: The Purpose of Sex

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 17 Feb 2023 12:00:00 +0000

Why did God create us with a sex drive? What was His purpose for creating sex? Just to have kids? In this episode, Joe takes a look at God's purpose for sex and why pornography use completely distorts that reason for sex.

Ep. 22: Finding a Good Therapist

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 10 Feb 2023 12:00:00 +0000

Therapy can be daunting and anxiety-inducing, especially if you're wondering whether you've chosen the right one. In this episode, Joe gives practical tips to assist you in finding the right therapist to help treat porn addiction.

Ep. 21: The Problem of Self-Sabotage

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 03 Feb 2023 12:00:00 +0000

Have you ever known anyone who heads for the ditch when things are going good? It's almost like they can't stand things being normal or "too good." This happens in addiction quite a bit. In this episode, Joe explores why some addicts self-sabotage and what they can do about it.

Ep. 20: Helpful Resources

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 27 Jan 2023 12:00:00 +0000

"Joe, what books do you recommend for someone trying to quit porn?" I've heard this question so many times, so I decided to cover it on today's episode. I have listed my personal favorite books, content blockers, and websites to visit for those looking to break the addiction.

Books:

- "TINSA" - Dr. Michael Barta

- "Out of the Shadows" - Dr. Patrick Carnes

- "Open" - Craig Gross

- "Every Man's Battle" - Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker

- "Your Brain On Porn" - Gary Wilson

- "Pure Desire" - Ted Roberts

- "Holy Sexuality and the Gospel" - Christopher Yuan

"Rethining Sexuality" - Dr. Juli Slattery

Content Blockers:

- Covenant Eyes

- X3watch

- Pluck Eye

- Fortify

Websites:

- Fightthenewdrug.org

- WhenIamweak.org

- XXXchurch.com

- Yourbrainonporn.com

- Nofap.com

- Defendyoungminds.org

- Changinglanesministries.com

- Purehope.net

Ep. 19: How the Church Can Help

Joe Wilkie — Tue, 24 Jan 2023 04:52:00 +0000

What can the church do to help those in the addiction? In this episode, Joe discusses 7 practical tips for church members and addicts alike.

Ep. 18: Praying Through the Addiction?

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 13 Jan 2023 12:00:00 +0000

"Just read the Bible and pray to overcome your porn addiction." Have you ever heard this? If so, you may have tried it only to realize it's not quite that simple. In this episode, Joe discusses what to pray for, what not to pray for, and its usefulness in fighting the addiction.

Ep. 17: Tempering Expectations

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 05:50:00 +0000

We should never plan to fail, but in seeking sobriety from pornography we must set appropriate expectations for ourselves. In this episode, Joe explores why this is important and how to avoid the pitfalls of shaming out due to relapse.

Ep. 16: Sober Living

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 30 Dec 2022 12:00:00 +0000

Getting sober is incredibly difficult. Staying sober can be equally as difficult if we don't put the right habits in place. In this episode, Joe explores a few basic tools to staying sober.

Ep. 15: Navigating the Holidays

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 23 Dec 2022 15:01:00 +0000

The holidays can be tough on addicts for a few reasons - brand new devices for Christmas, unstructured schedules, boredom, etc. In this episode, Joe discusses how an addict can navigate the holidays.

Ep. 14: Parents and Kids

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 16 Dec 2022 19:29:00 +0000

How do you talk to your children about porn and sex? How do you tell your children about your addiction? In this episode, Joe looks to answer these questions about these and more.

Touchy Subjects: https://www.amazon.com/Touchy-Subjects-Talking-Social-Touchscreen/dp/1497352002/ref=sr_1_1?crid=30VK56KVG9EZ2&keywords=touchy+subjects&qid=1671219079&sprefix=touchy+subjects%2Caps%2C139&sr=8-1

Ep. 13: Identity

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 09 Dec 2022 12:00:00 +0000

Identity is about our relationship with ourselves. Most addicts either hate themselves or have virtually no relationship with themselves. In this episode, Joe discusses why that's a problem and why a person's relationship with God must be at the core of his or her being, driving a better relationship with oneself.

Ep. 12: Attachment Wounds

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 02 Dec 2022 12:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe explains the role of attachment wounds on porn addiction including the core negative beliefs that arise from poor attachment.

Ep. 11: Internal Family Systems

Joe Wilkie — Mon, 28 Nov 2022 03:34:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe explains Internal Family Systems and our various internal parts including how IFS can be used to overcome porn addiction.

Ep. 10: The Emotions Behind the Addiction

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 19 Nov 2022 02:48:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe takes a look at the cognitive triangle and the underlying emotions to the addiction. He gives practical advice as to how an addict can begin to understand and process through his or her trauma and negative emotions.

Ep. 9: The Brain Science

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 11 Nov 2022 12:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe discusses the brain science behind the addiction. There's a chemical reason the addict doesn't "just stop." This episode is intended to help you learn the terms of the brain science and get more educated surrounding the nature of this addiction.

Ep. 8: Coming Clean to Your Significant Other

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 04 Nov 2022 11:00:00 +0000

Should you tell your fiancé about your porn use? How do you come clean to your wife about your addiction? Why is it so difficult to do so, and why does she react so poorly? In this episode, Joe explores these questions and more concerning how to talk to your significant other about your porn use.

Ep. 7: Breaking the Shame Cycle

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 28 Oct 2022 11:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe describes the shame cycle and why it is so detrimental to the addict. He discusses how to break free from it and avoid its harmful effects.

Ep. 6: Accountability Partners

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 21 Oct 2022 11:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe discusses the importance of getting accountable, what to look for in an accountability partner, and how to be one for someone else.

Ep. 5: Basic Behavioral Change

Joe Wilkie — Sat, 15 Oct 2022 01:06:00 +0000

When quitting porn, it's imperative we make some basic behavioral changes. Which ones? In this episode, Joe explores which changes will help you the most and why.

Ep. 4: White Knuckle Change

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 07 Oct 2022 11:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe explains white knuckle change and discusses why it doesn't work in breaking free from porn addiciton. He also explores ways to start working toward lasting change.

Ep. 3: Bad Habit or Addiction?

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 30 Sep 2022 11:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe examines whether your porn use is merely a bad habit or if it can be classified as an addiction.

Ep. 2: Understanding Triggers

Joe Wilkie — Fri, 23 Sep 2022 11:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Joe explains what triggers are, discusses common triggers for looking at porn and how to avoid them, and briefly explores the deeper issues often underneath each trigger - trauma capsules.

Ep. 1: Porn Is a Symptom, Not the Problem

Joe Wilkie — Mon, 12 Sep 2022 20:47:00 +0000

In this first episode, host Joe Wilkie M.A., LPC introduces the podcast and discusses how most people wrongfully view pornography abuse as the problem. Instead, it's the symptom of the real problem.